The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-06-01
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,


MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Footing the plumbers bill-Psyine
the piper.
Another person who desires q hear.
ing-a deaf hlan.
III you don't get as much silver as you
can spend, charge it to the hoarders.
"A good many English papers still
write Emu .ess' with the sneer of quota
ton marks
Seven \ 'cxican thieves have been hung
ON the Rio Grande. The way of tho
trans greasers is hard.
The people of Brazoria County, Tex ,
want the county divided; yet it is only six
times as large as Rhode Island.
Again the tuneful cat doth WOO the
midnight muse.-E9change. Put an 90"
in muse, and then let her "woo" It is
her business.
1T is with sincere affection or friend.
ship as with ghosts and apparilions-a
thing that everybody talks Of and scarce
any hath scen.-R0chester Herald.
Norwich, Conn, made preparations
to set its tramps to work, but when the
work was ready not a tramp could be
found. Here's food for reflection.
Poetry by the Tennyson of the New
York Commercial Advertiser:
We have time to laugh, we have time to CIV:
W. we nave time to smile, we have time to sigh;
We have time for eating and household chores:
but we haven't time to talk to borss.
"A bull rushed into millinery shop.
causing q stampede among the ladies
present. The woman in charge drove the
bovine gentleman out by exhibiting the
price OF spring bonnet.-Pvovidene
Journal.
Somehow, these May anniversaries
don't make as much noise as they used to.
lime was when they annually had New
York half upside down with interest in
their proceedings.-N. y. Commercial
4dpcrtiser.
People who don't want to lend money
had better be shy of the new currency.
1t Jlngies you know, and you can't look a
fellow in the face and say: II haven't
any small change about me."-Atlanta
Constitationalsst.
.-California is to have the largest luna
tic asylum in the world. This is because
ruined Chicago wheat spectators gener.
ally fly to the Pacific to drown themselves,
but usually change their minds when the
get there and only 60 crazy.-S. LOU.
Republican.
A woman who went to a concert to
hear Blind Tom "play by ear" writes
that she was swindled, and wants us to
expose the fraud. She says that instead
OF playing by ear he played with his
fingers just like other performers.-Nor.
ristOaon Herald.
They are strict in England. If you
simply write man asking him to be
kind enough to designate time and place
when and where it will be the most con.
venient for him to have his brains blown
out, they lock you up for life for sending
threatening letters.
Not an altogether novel source Of
danger might have been seen in the win
dow of Beacon street picture store in
Boston the other day. A large card pho
tograph, mounted behind magnifying
glass. had two holes burned in it by the
sun shining through the window panes
and the glass. While one of the holes
was smoking with the heat, the concen-
tIated rays of the sun had penetrated
through the hole to pile Of thin paper
beyond: just as the paper began to discol-
or, a clerk inside let down a shade, shut
out the sun, and spoiled an item that re-
porter stood waiting for.
The rock boring at Hell Gate is COM
pleted, and the people in the vicinity are
waiting with painful interest the explo.
sions which are to blow out of existence
this tine.honored obstruction to the en-.
trance Of New York harbor. There are
5000 blasts to make, and the material to
be used is English gun-cotton. The en-.
gineers in charge say there is no occa.
sion for fear on the part even of those liv-
ing on the bank Of the river; but they are
building a sea wall 100 feet wide by
twelve feet high and eight feet thick to
protect the shore from the current which
will sweep against it after the explosion.
The parasols of the coming season,
like many other articles of this Centen-
NAL year, carry US back to the days of our
grandmothers. They are very large with
sixteen to eighteen inch frames, the cover
gradually going up nearly to the point.
This shape is indica ed by the name
" Steeple Top" A very elegant one has
q cover of black brocaded silk, edged with
fine black French lace four inches deep.
The handle is straight and of mother-of.
pearl. When folded, the parasol is in
closed in loose ring of black silk braid
fastened with handsome black ribbon
bow. Of tine same style is an ecru b o.
caded silk with an exquisite handle Of
carved amber.-N. Y. Co,. Chicago I1ib-
une.
-"George, my darling George, p romise
me one thing" said the young bride of a
month, as she threw her arms around her
husbands neck and gazed anxiously into
his face. "What is it, precious?' he
asked, as he drew her to his bosom.
"Promise me George, dear, that you will
not become Presidential candidate"
why, my darling, that is asking good
deal" he replied, and his countenance
darkened. There are Jones, Smith and
Brown, and in fact all the best people
they are candidates. You want me to be
somebody, don'tyou?" eyes, yes, George,
] do, do" said the young wife bursting
into tears, "but all the newspapers will
tell how big my feet are, and you know
folks never think that anybody's feet may
be good shaped if they are large.''
Force of habit in Texas is aptly illus
trated by the the San antonio Herald as
follows: "'Look here, my friend said
the clerk of one of our hotels to rough
customer from the frontier, who was about
to take his place at the dinner-table with
his six-snooter at his hip, you'll have to
leave that in the Office until you leave
town. The frontiersman objected because
he was not used to sitting down at the
table without his 'weepings' The clerk
refused to pander to the whims of the
guest, although he was willing he should
wear the empty holster of the pistol, but
the whole matter was finally arranged
without prejudice to the honor of either
party, by the guest taking out of the
weapon all the metallic cartridges but one,
which was retained to secure respectful
treatment from the waiter"
National Prohibition Platform.
The nlatform aflorted nv the recent Ma.