St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-06-02
Squibs.

/ We would rather have it now
] y dangerous rival to the editor of the
Chlcag" Times, has been discovered in
Il Rhode Island man who has been wing
IN one position for nine Years.
Viii You dake sumding ?" said "A
German tectotaler to Il friend, while
>tandIn" near tavern. Il don't care
II do. was the reply. "Nell. den, let
us tax Il Walk"
he dIS%uSted BritiSher who conclud-
cd that the American national tune was
lhc SPIT -t""n. Is revising Shakespeare for
for Young Yankees. He has got as far
i> Ills true It's spitty. and spitty It's,
lis true"
Spell bound stuck on IA word at the
spelling match.
y hull-trog is never entirely broke"
financially. He always has IA green
back, you know.
I'm lrI>Iman being asked why he left
his country for America, replied, 1T
WASH for want had plenty of that
AT home"
y rll"m" with every egg now. Dmn-
b"Iy Wears. Is that clow-mo ii rousterY
" hitehdH Times. Guess 50, for
Rooster can crow mo- than hen.-No+-
riSfoTn HrrdId. =
\ celebrated poet advertised that he
would supply Lines for any occlsiop.n
fisherman sought him soon after, and
wanted "a lane strong enough to catch
II porp"isc."
Topic: theological discussion. Prin-
clpal wv as 1t colder or warmer a hun
dIed Years ago than at present p Pupil
honestly Il really don't recollect. sir
y correspondent entered an office aud
accused the c"mpo>itor of not having
punrtnated his communication. when
the typ" earnestly replied: ''I'm not
pointer; I'm setter
That was good Detroit boy who
told his father that il he would buy him
a pony he would let him have the Use
"f 1t when 1t was too rainy for good
boys t" he ont.
The other day Black Hills stage
driver undertake. to h"rSewhip his pas
>rn"cl> mt" getting out and pushing M
hIll. hut the gold-scckcrs held a cor
"mrr> inquest and found that he died
of pneumonia.
milwaukee, man made three uu-
successful attempts to blow his brains
out and then his wife told him "Dou't
try 1t again. John: you haven't got
amy; lie goes about SAYING he owes
his life t" that woman.
Luhh"ck still insists that bees are not
"t sympathetic nature. And vet this
gentle insect. with buff maimsail and
rrd-h"t rudder. has frequently brought
tears of sentiment to our ewes.
~ azc. my trcnts. calls ices per
spiral staircase. as Dom Pedro pasped
when he pulled out his handkerchief
and m"pped his brow, ON the way up
t" the dome of the Capitol
The National Sunday school Teacher
trlI> the story of Il scholar who. when
asked IN the lesson of david Sharing
NaIll, why David compared himself to
i iiea, replied that he guessed lit was
because Saul couldn't catch him"
A Young lady in Bardstowu. told her
Lover that she liked Shakespeare very
much. and that she read il when il
ilf>' came ont Then she proceeded
I" sean magazine to see what the
spring STYLES We're.
\ cool Young gent. all of the modern
days. entered Il menagerie with "A cigar
IN lIlS mouth. when the proprietor no
lItclN requested the visitor not To teach
the other monkeys bad habits. The
Young man proved himself equal to the
occasion 10y producing his cirear-case
and saving. ''Try one
I'm "A Philadelphia Alderman.n said
Il stout, pompous little man, ~ he ap-
preached the tnrnstile ON the Opening
day. "Oh. that's no matter" answered
the gate-keepcr, that don't exclude
N"l- Pay Nonr fifty cents. and Won can
=" III just the same as the rest"
lie isn't six Years old. and he said .
l'ltaSt' sister Sarah. cant | have an
other piece of that nice custard pie Won
nl'de NV ny, deary, You are too full
i"r ntttIancr now. Look at that lus-
''"nS dumping on Nonr plate not half
r'''h. Oll. well, sister, | know the
dumping side of my stomach is full.
but the cnstard pie side feels rather
empty Yet. That Other piece of pie is
missing.
Last week a millionaire committed
suicide III Belgium another was sued
III New Jersey for divorce and aIimony
l"r having another wife, and one had
lam dead III Troy for ten DAYS. his burial
hrIng deferred because. he uaS believed
I" have been murdered for his money.
IL view of these facts the Graphic urges,
D"h become Il millionaire :" But
no" Is a newspaper man to help be
coming one of those things,
Dear Sister: now take NV seat and
81 down To take this opportunity To in
l"l III You that am Il daddy at last.
Ahhe has got Il nee, fat baby. and we
nope these few lines may find vou en-
Joy ing the same blessing Now this is
I" he strictly Il business letter. Firstly.
IS sad before, Ahbr has got lis nice \
baby a> ever made up faces NcNtly.
nave snapped away old BuckSkiu. and
'nihk nave Il pretty nice horse: il is
: %lrl and weighs nine pounds Il mean
ne habN.) and it is ;l> fat us butter. and
laS got good strong pair of lungs.
she has got blue eyes and dmple in the
Inn Il mean the baby now y and iust
ne plrttIeSt mouth that ever opeurd tn
"celve pap; and iuding from her teeth
should think she is about six lea,s old
| mean the horse now.) She is sound
nooth and kind Il mean the horse or
,ahN either H"w,) and the doctor saws
lIr Is the faire>t he ever saw. without
AcrPti"n. (lie means the hahy.) |
got twenty-five dollars to boot mot on
he baby, Though, for in its case the
'""t was on the other foot. and two or
hrec sizes larger, as near as can find
ut She Is as hearty as IL pig. ate an
Sg, a biscuit. and drank three cups of
"a Tor dinner Il mean Abbc.D She il
citing along nicely. and if she don't
ave any bad luck she will get along
ISL rate. She is troubled with dis.