Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-03-01
Odds and Ends.

The curse Of canine. Georgia ha
$4,000 more dogs than voters.-PiHs
burg Commercial
A VERMONT man returned home the
other day, after an absence Of eleven
years, and found that neither of the
three husbands his wife had married
and buried had fixed the GATE Chicago
Tribune.
A BILIOUS Englishman relates this
story: | am sure beg your pardon"
said young Am erican lady to her right
hand nelghbor at dinner table, after
sneezing violently-'T hope [ didn't
splash you?"
A YOUNG man was Yesterday asked
why he did not marry, when he prompt
ly replied: My dear sir, I've been
salesman in dry goods store for ten
years."
SHE asked him if her new dress wasn't
as sweet as a spring rose, and the brute
said it was, even to the minor attraction
of still having little due on it.-Wash-
ingtO1a Chronicle.
OVER 100000 pounds Of mineral were
taken in one week recently from the
lead mines of Joplin, Mo-, and the
Baxter Spring mines are said to be still
richer than those of the Joplin dis
trict.
A PHYSICIAN asserts that an orange
eaten every morning half an hour be-
fore breakfast will eventually destroy
the desire for alcoholic drinks. He
says that he has never known it to fail
in effecting a cure of the most confirm
ed casesof inebriety.
PHILIP DEAN, fifty-fve years old, the
Oldest active hunter in Utah, and who
boasts of still being able to bring down a
crow on the wing with his rifle at one
hundred yards, has, during his resi-
dence in the Territory, killed $3.50 deer,
besides innumerable buffalo.
The ST. Louis Republican says Weston
has beaten somebody. His name is
Perkins, and he lives in England If
he can't beat Weston he mad better stay
there. He had better stay there any
way There are Perkinses enough in
this country.
The Senate Of California has expell-
ed from the privileges of the floor a
newspaper reporter who reported that
a Senator stated to him "that should
the press cease watching the legislature
it would steal the state blind in three
weeks"
A CANDY store window displays, in
worsted letters, the inspiring text,
"The Lord Will provide" A boy who
passes daily says it amt so, and you
cant git no candy In there on the credit
of Providence. Nickels is the only stuff
wot gifts them gun1-drops."
GAS Company President we
must accommodate ourselves to the
times. Announce reduction of ten
cents thousand feet III the price of
gas-and add a couple Of thousand feet
on each gas bill"
ALL persons who have not been to
"Singin' SkewP and seen Aunt Polly
and the "big boy" Jededish will have
an opportunity tomorrow night. The
" Singin' SkewP' is full Of original and
amusing scenes, and is free from all
coarseness.
The light of genius is sometimes so
respondent as to make man walk
through life amid glory and accumula-
ton; but it burns very dimly when car
ried into the "valley of the shadow of
DEATH" But faith is like the evening
star, shining into our souls the more
brightly, the deeper is the night of
death into which they -Moeuatord.
SUGAR wedding: marrying a candid
man. Wooden wedding: marrying a
perfect stick. Tin wedding the one
that pans out well. Silver wedding:
marrying gray beard Crystal we'd
ding: marrying one addicted to the
glass. Golden wedding: when the
groom is minor and the bride a little
vain. Diamond wedding: when the
"washings" are large.
"WHAT am made off" asked a lit
tie girl, fresh from her Sunday school
lesson. as she essayed to show off her
knowledge to a younger sister, II
don't know" was the honest answer.
"What does mamma sweep up from
the foor?' was the first speakers next
trial in Socrates method. "Pins, nee.
dies and hairpins p was the prompt but
unexpected response.
Mr.. DARWIN tells story, as an ex
ample of the reasoning powers Of
monkey that was scratched by a pc
kitten. At first Jocko was immensel,
amazed Recovering from his surprise
he set to work to discover the location
of the claws. After severe tussel b
got the four feet of the kitten With
his clutches, saw the nails thrust fror
their guards, and, with the broades
grin of satisfaction, he proceeded d.
terminedly to bite the points off of eac
QUE.
A SERVANT in the family of Mr.. M
earthly, residing in Grand street, Jerse
City, died a few days since, as was SUI
posed, from hydrophobia, although tt
physicians were in doubt. Sever;
days before the girl became sick, Mr.
Mccarthy complained to her husban
about the dog. He called the amin;
to him to show that it was Harmless
when he was bitten on the thum
Subsequently he was taken sick, al
now lies in a very precarious conditio
A New York physician wi o was call
pronounced the case incurable
A FRENCH artisan living in Lond