Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1876-07-29
Mr.. Smith Q Boy.
NH DnIEtH bty.
HIS STARTLING srATEMENTs ABOUT HI
FAMILY.

FAMILY.
Max Adeler has the following TO relate In
The Philadelphia Bulletin: A family named
and Mr.. Browns boy, on Saturday, leaned
over the fence and gave TO our reporter his
impressions OF MT. Smiths boy, a lad about
eyes, me and him are right well acausint.
ed now; he knows more'n do, and mes had
more experience. Bin says his father used
10 be robbeT (Smith, by the way, is a dea.
con In the Presbyterian church, aud a very
excellent lawyer and that he n lad ZOO 900
In gold buried In his cellar along with q
And he says his father is a conJurer, aud
that he makes all the earthquakes that hap
pen anywhere In the world. The old manfIl
come home at night, after there's been an
Tired he Kin hardly stand, Bill says IT'S such
hard work.
came round there trying 10 sell lightning.
rods his father got mad and ct him, ct him
right up, and he takes bites out OF everybody
he comes acrOst.
THAT'S what Bill tells me. That's all I
know about IL. And he tole me that once he
used 10 have q dog, one OF these little kind OF
dogs, and be was flying his kite, and Just for
fun he tied the Kite -strin onto his dogs tail.
And then the wind struck her and his dog
went boomin' down the street, with his hind
legs In the air for about mile. when the kite
minute the dog was fifteen miles high, and
commanding q view OF California, and
Egypt, and Oshkosh, think Bill said. He
Bill said he swum home all the way In the
Atlantic ocean, and when he landed his legs
was all nibpled Off by sharks.
81 wish father'd buy me dog, SOS coali
send him up that way. But never have no
| luck. Bill said that where they used TO II We
he went out on the roof one day TO fly his
kite, and he sat on top OF the chimbly 70 give
her plenty OF room, and while he was sitting
there thinking about nothing, the old man
put keg OF powder down below In the Ere
place TO clean the SCOT out Of the chimbly.
| And when he touched her of Bill was bowed
over agin the Baptist church steeple, and he
landed on the weathercock, with his pants
torn, and they couldn't git him down for
three days, SO he hung there, going round
and round with the wind, and he lived by
eating the crows, that came and sat on him
because they thought he was male Of sheet
iron and put up there on purpose.
"He's lad more fun than enough. He was
telling me the other day ABOUT a sausage
stuffer his brother invented. 1t was q kinder
machine that worked with a treadle: anI
Bill said the way they did In the faiI was To
TX tro, ~ 10 tne acss back, And connect the
Ieadle with q string, and then the hog'd
wotk Tue lreadle and keep on running IL up
! ALL Town until the machine cut the hog all
up fine, and showed the meat into the skins.
Bill said his brother called IL Every Hog mis-
own Suffer- and IT worked splendid. But
don't know. Pears 10 mes IL there couldn't
be no machine like that. Bat, anyway, Bill
sad so.
And he tole me about an uncle OF his ont
In Australia, who was ct by a big oyster
once, and when he got inside he staid there
until he'd ct the oyster. Then he split the
shells open and took bali a one for boat
and he sailed along until he met a sea ser
pent, and he killed IL and drawed of its
skin, and when he got home he sold IL TO an
engine company for hose, for 9 10 900 TO put
out fires with. Bill said that was actually
! so, because be could show me a man WIN
used TO belong to the engine juipany. I
wish father'd let me go ont TO fiud q sea ser
pent ike that; but be don't let NE have no
chance TO Distinguish myself
bill was saying only yesterday that the
IDolans caught him once and drove eleven
railroad spikes through his stomach, and
cut on his scalp, and IL never hurt him bit.
he said he got away by the daughter OF the
chief sneaking him out OF the wigwam and
lending him horse. Bill says she was IN
love with him, and when asked him 10 let
me see the hoes where they drove in them
spikes, be said be dsrsn't take OFF his cloth Is
or ned bleed TO death. Hess his own father
didn't know II, because Bill was afraid AZ
might worry the old man.
and Bill tole me they wasn't going TO get
MIN TO 60 TO Sunday school. He says bis
Iatner has brass idol that he keeps in the
garrett, and Bill says he's made up his mind
10 De pagan, and 10 begin TO 60 NAKED and
carry tomshawk and bow and arrow a :
soon as the warm weather comes. And 70
prove II 10 me he Gays bis father has this
town all underlald with nitro-glycerine, and
rs soon as he gets ready he's going TO blow
the old thing out ana bust her up, let her rim
and demolish her. He said so down at the
dam and tole me not 10 tell anybody, bat 1
thought they'd be no harm In mentioning IL
to you.
'sAnd now believe must be going. hear
BIZ a-whistling. Maybe he's got something
The Smith boy, we think, will be profitable
10 Inc youth OF this comm unity.