The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-21
WHOLE NO. lll2.
Pith and Point.

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VISITORS that always come on foot
Corns.
No WOMAN with a proper appreciation
OF her rights will marry q man so tall
that she can't reach his hair.
GALL is vanity" remarked tinware
peddler the other day. "What's life to
me but holler and tin sell p
A FUND of 100000 has been sub
scribed in New Hampshise, the interest
to be used in prosecuting violators of the
liquor law.
"DoN'T come to see me any more Just
yet, John father has been having his
boots half-soled, with two rows of nails
around the toes" wrote guileless girl
to her adorer.
AN enterprising but ignorant South
American has sent to an Albany locomo-
tive shop for 100 "cow- w-catchers." He
expects to use them in taking wild cattle
on the plains of Paraguay, in place of
the lasso. ia nH
"PLEAsE send me one broom, and see
that the handle is stronger than the last
one was" wrote Chicago woman to her
husband last week, in hand full of
character. Her husband pretends that
he hit his head against the door in the
dark.
MORTON McMIcHAEL wishes to call
the Exhibition a "Wondrous fair"
Why not "Passing fair ~ Graphic.
That's so why notl You pass the fare
when you enter, and keep passing the
" fair " after you are in.-Norristo,0n
Herald.
THEY were talking of death, when
one man asked: "What were his last
words2" "He didn't say anything"
was the reply. "That's just like him."
said the first man, with an approving
nod. "There was no gas about him.
He was all business"
This memorandum, evidently poetic,
was picked up in Fairmount Park last
week: "Her dome uprears-hood of
tears-twine the laurel wreath-Wash-
ington's teeth-strong as their springs,
and as their ivory pure-hewer, fewer,
skewer-gone to lunch"
AN old '49-er entered a barber shop,
the other day, and, taking off his coat,
said: Yes, do want a shave, and 1
don't keep bottle in the shop, nor 1
don't want the hair on the back of my
neck shaved; so you chaps look live and
go slow, or I'll multilate you.
CIRCUMSTANCES alter cases, you know"
remarked Scotch lawyer to an old farm
er client. :Verra true, sir" replied the
farmer, "and cases alter circumstances
as weel; for, man, mind when ye were
young and had but few cases, your cir
cumstances werna over braw."
Col. BEN WILSON, of West Virginia,
noted for politeness and debate, was in
formed by his physician that his end
was near. "Of course, you know, doc
tor" said the invalid, "but may in
quire on what you predicate your theo-
ry9" The funeral was postponed.
JONES says he seldom has felt a like
degree of un-equnaimity and desire to
break commandment and some ones
head, as when to-day his next door
neighbor brought back buffalo robe he
had borrowed last January; and asked
Jones if he had got spare thermometer.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES says that it
is not by his permission that part of
his latest poem has been changed to
read
From hounces frothed with creamy lace
Peeps out the pug-dog's smutty face,
Or spaniel rolls his liquid eye,
Or stares the wiry pet of Skye
Oh woman, in your hours of ease
How fond you are OF purps and-heas!
The editor of the Brooklyn Argus is
unmarried, ana the Detroit Free Press
says he thinks muslin dresses are cut
out with lawn mower. Such ignor-
ance is painful. Some one should in
form him that muslin dresses are knit,
after the manner of pair of stockings.-
Norristot0n Herald. And yet-but,
then, we are as ignorant as Argus him-
self-isn't there kind of women called
grass widows whose lawn dresses are
laundressed by machines like lawn now
ers2 We merely ask for information
Philadelphia Bulletin.