Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-06-15


God graft we may forget In heaven!
Items Of Interest.
A dollar does not 90 as far as it used
to, but it goes much quicker.
Economy don't consist in saving in.
discriminatory, butin savingjudiciously.
When parents yield mp their daugh-
ters in marriage they do it with miss
givings.
Under the new time table, the run by
rail between New Orleans and New York
is reduced to sixty-two hours.
Citizens Of Halsey, Oregon, offer .
bonus of $4,000 to any one who will
erect flour mill in the town.
Mrs. Mella Dodd, of Bowling Green,
Ky., 116 years old, is going to the Cen
tennial to see if she can keep her daugh.
ters-two girls OF eighty-three and
ninety-four-out of mischief.
A landlady in Nashville boarding
house finds it necessary to post up the
following notice, which leaves margin
for meditation: "Don't fool with the
girls while they are Lighting the coal oil
lamps"
Daniel Fender concluded letter,
asking Mary to be his, thus: "And
should you say yes dear Mary, ! will
ever and faithfully be your d. Fender"
Daniel thought that was neat, and 30
did Mary.
The girl who can put a square patch
on pair of pantaloons may not be SO
accomplished as one who can embroider
and work green worsted dogs on blue
ground, but she will be more useful at
the head of Large family.
Working women in France on an av-
erage earn but little more than half the
wages earned by men. NJ. de Foyille
writes that to place women on footing
of equality with men they ought to earn
at least two-thirds as much.
"John, what is the past Of see 2"
lect that" "Yes, sir. Then if q sea
fish swims by me, it becomes saw fish
when it is past, and can't be seen"
"You may 60 home, john"
{" When women make bread" said
Quiz, moralizing over ali underdone bis
cult at the breakfast table" When
women make bread, q curious phenome-
non often results; you find little dear
bringing forth little dough"
A lady writer in the Philadelphia Item
perpetrates the following: Women
never truly command until they have
given their promise to obey; and they
are never in more danger OF being made
slaves than when the men are at their
feet.
Fond mamma about to get into car
riage to small boy in the house ooor-
snow, Freddie, are you not going to
kiss met" Freddie-"I haYent time to
come down, mamma. (To footman)-
John, you kiss mamma for me-" (la-
bleau.)
The Royal National Lifeboat Institu-
ten of England has 34 boats. and has
saved 727 lives during the last year
SIG, 500 have been granted as rewards for
saving life. The receipts during the
year were $199, It's, and the expenses
$197, ,475.
When Marc Anthony threw himself
upon the "dear remains of his loved
Caesar, in Pittsburgh theater. the other
evening, he struck the " corpse fair in
the stomach, which had the effect OF
doubling it up with q grunt, that rather
detracted from the solemnity OF the oc-
casion.
A young man in western Wisconsin,
who was about to be married the other
day, suddenly remembered that ne
hadn't fed his horse, and the ceremony
had to wait until the horse had been
cared for. He explained that good
horse couldn't be found every day,
while thirteen different girls wanted to
marry him.
There was French singer with tre-
| mendous voice, who could not discover
| what line in art he was best fitted for.
He went to Cherubini, who told him to
sing. He sang, and the foundation
trembled. "Well," he said, when he
had finished, " "illustrious master, what
shall I become9" can auctioneer,"
said Cherubini.
During the Mexican war one OF the
generals came up to Captain Bragg and
said " Captain, the crisis has arrived,
FIRE" Whereupon Captain Bragg said
to his lieutenant "Yod hear what the
general says-fre r. The lieutenant
said "But, captain, ] don t see any
thing to fire atl" "Fire at the crisis J"
said Captain Bragg.
DIR, John L. Phuu, of st. Louis, re-
Gently issued the following remarkable
certificate: "This is to certify that
Emma Cunningham came to her death
by having in attendance on her during
her sickness of galloping consumption,
DR.. John Willard, and the said DR..
John Willard galloped the said Emma
Cunningham into eternity at tho rate OF
2:4O speed, and may the good Lord
have mercy on her poor soul"