The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-06-30
Proposed Bill for Legalizing Murder.

me place on the select committee for
investigating the causes of crime in New
York City, 1 herewith send you report
on my own account, which may be ac-
cepted as supplement to that presented
by the four honorable gentlemen.
| earnestly recommend the passage of
bill for legalizing murder.
Now, as many of the arguments which
would advance are Identical with
those adopted by the honorable gentle
men of the committee, when recon-
mending the license of prostitution, L
hope to be pardoned if inadvertently
make use of some of their words.
The fact is, human nature is so con-
stituted that murder. will continue in
the future, as it has in the past, no mat
ter what laws are Illuminated against it.
The time has never been when there
was not law against murder, and vet
not a day passes without instances of
this crime in New York City.
This proves that laws of this sort are
dead letters upon the statute book, and
just so far state must lose dignity and
self-respect. Iwould remedy all this by
making murder, under certain author
lied conditions, right.
At first thought the suggestion may
be unwelcome to many sentimental
moralists; but on serious consideration
| innumerable advantages will be appar-
ent to all.
First, the established opinion that
laws are made to check the evil-doer is
too old-fashioned for our progressive
age. They should be framed to suit and
satisfy the evil-doer, and thus, by
bringing statutes to a sufficiently low
| level, our nation at last can proudly
boast that it has no law-breakers.
once had a teacher who made diverse
rules for us wild boys against jumping
out of windows in school hours, break
| ing benches, firing pistols, and similar
| harmless sports. But when he saw
that we persisted in them, he prohibited
them no longer, made his rules TO suit
us, and gradually the rough boys had
matters in their own hands. The
trustees did not appreciate his method
of government, and soon requested the
pedagogue to resign; but had they lived
nearer the seaboard, they would doubt
less have admired his adaptation and
seen that such man had the best pos
sible qualification for an alderman. For
when we first gain knowledge of any
notorious evil, an offense to metropoli-
tan order our method of procedure is to
issue an edict Immediately, then to send
q police force against it; thereby setting
the world an example of shining virtue
in theory. But if we find after a few
days that the police prefer not to touch
the trespasser, that it is not congenial
to the delicate feelings of the average
policeman to interfere with crime, then
we change our course and license it.
A second argument is the advantage
which should accrue as a matter of con-
venience. AS a general thing, 1 am
willing that my fellow beings should
, live out their allotted days; but circum-
stances occasionally arise when a per-
son comes in our way, and we have an
irrepressible desire to send him to "that
bourne from whence" etc. 1t would be
soothing to the conscience if we had a
place TO which we could resort or send
our victim, where within prescribed
limits we could take his life, and be at
the same time, by the payment of fees,
under the protection of the police.
Especially is this desirable when we
consider that some who have INDUCED
in this pastime of life-taking are from
: most respectable families, some of
whose members are pillars of church
and state. By having the act thus sane
toned and regulated, murder by night
in the open streets would be prevented,
with all its Haunting details and often
sive demonstrations. 1t would be made
respectable. Under the law as it now
stands, murder exists; but no power of
localization is legitimately given to
the police authorities.
As the third argument, [ would note
the great saving of expense to the State
in the cost of criminal trials, which
would, of course, be abolished. This
} method would also cure all cases of emo
> tiOnal insanity.
! Have we not Bible precedent in the
appointment of six cities of refuge for
the man-slayer? We need not use the
2 word murder in plain English, as
? this would be offensive to sensitive ears,
and might defeat our purpose. "Life
) expulsion" "fOrcible excise" 'compal-
sorry dissolution" or any other phrase
t which euphony could suggest, would
= answer the end just as well. AS to
, terms, the committee would not be te-
nacious. If anybody's conscience can
! be soothed, his moral doubts assuaged
= by dropping the word murder and
using "translation" or "pilotage of the
River Styx," the committee would
have no earthly objection.
! AS crOwDing argument in favor oil
t licensing sudden translations, if the
9 business is placed under governmental
and medical supervision, the patrons
can have the satisfaction of feeling that
their victims are not needlessly tor
tured or vulgarly butchered; but that
they are relieved of life in first-class
style, in genteel and graceful manner,
o after the most approved methods ol
e modern surgery. Our main object is tC
, make sin respectable.
d Having begun with one evil, we pro.
= pose to deal thus with others-theft, ar.
e son, and perhaps robbery-in success.
e sion. Our motto is: The greatest good
Y to the greatest number. And, as a great
!, number are piekpockets and burglars
t we feel that they have their rights; anC
j our proud ambition is so to make laws
# that all shall be suited, and then we
= shall have q law-abiding community
a that is, laws that abide the community
e When in some happy future we shall
:. have in successful force law licensing
s defalcation and bribery, then poo
8 Tweed and the sorrowing Belknap may
d lift up their heads and walk honoreC
e among the sons of men.-M Y. Hade
Y pendent.
\ Lavinia Goodell has been appointed
o first Vice President of the Wisconsin
. State Sunday School Association. Sht
. is still practicing law in the lowe