Weekly Trinity journal., 1876-04-29
HOW TO GO TO SLEEP.

| MT. Butterwlck, OF hoxOorougn, had
fit of sleeplessness one night lately, and
after vainly trying to lose himself in
slumber, he happened to remember that
he once read in an almanac that man
could put himself to sleep by imagining
that he saw a flock of sheep jumping
over a fence, and by counting them as
they jumped. He determined to try the
experiment, and closing his eyes, he
fancied the sheep jumping, and began to
count. He had reached his l4Oth sheep,
and was beginning, to dose of, when
Mrs. Butterwick suddenly said:
Joseph !"
90, what ?"
a. believe that yellow hen of ours
wants to set"
80 don't bother mo with such non
sense as that now Do keep quiet and &c
to sleep"
Then Butterwick started his sheep
again, and commenced to count. He
got up to l20, and was feeling as il he
would drop of at any moment, when
just as his 12lst sheep was about to take
that fence, one of the twins began to cry.
"Hang that child?" he shouted at
Mrs. Butterwick ; "why don't you tend
to it and put it to sleep Hush up, you
little imp, or I'll spank you !"
When Mrs. Butterwick had quieted it,
3utterwick, although little nervous
and excited, concluded to try it again.
Turning on the imaginary mutton, he
began. Only sixty-four sheep had slid
over the fonce when Buttorwick's moth
er-in-law Knocked at the door and asked
if he was awake. When she learned that
he was sho said she believed he had for
gotten to close the back shutters. and she
thought she heard burglars in the yard.
Then Butterwick arose in wrath and
went down to see about it. He ascertain
eG that tho shutters were closed as usual,
and as he returned TO bed he resolved
that Mrs. Buttorwick's mother would
leave the house for good in the morning,
or he would. However, he thought no
might as we'll give the almanac plan
another trial, and setting tho sheep in
motion he began to count. This time he
reached two hundred and forty, and
would probably have got to sleep before
the three hundredth sheep jumped, had
not Mix's dog in the next yard become
suddenly homesick, and begun to express
his feelings in series OF prolonged and
exasperating howls.
Butterwick was indignant. Neglect
ing the sheep he leaped from the bed
and began to lombard Mix's new oog
with boots, soap-cups, and every loose
object he could lay his hands on. He
hit the animal at last with plaster bust
of Daniel Webster, and induced tho dog
to retreat to the stable and think about
homo in silence.
1t seemed almost ridiculous to resume
those sheep again, but he determined to
give the almanac man one more chance,
and so as they began to jump tho fence
he began to count, and after seeing the
eighty second sheep safely over, he was
going gently in the lands Of dreams
when Mrs. Butterwick rolled out Of bed
and fell on the floor with such violence
that she walked the twins and started
them crying, while Butterwick's moth
erin law came down stairs, four steps at
time, to ask if thoy felt an earthquake.
The situation was too awful for words.
Butterwick regarded it for a minute with
speechless indignation, and then seizing
a pillow no went over to tho sitting room,
and lay down on the lounge.
He fell asleep in ten minutes without
the assistance OF the almanac, but h'
dreamed all night that he was beinl
butted around the equator bya CotswolC
ram and he woke in the morning with I
terrible headache and a conviction tha
sheep are good enough for wool and chops
but not worth cent as narcotic.