Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-07-21
Gleanings.

forty acres, the cars runs through MS
land and he has ten red heifers."
Gleanings.
A business that is picking up-the rag
gathers.
Dried apples are becoming fashionable
dessert for swell dinner parties.
1t is getting to be very in-jury-ous for
twelve men to be locked up in court
house.
Rhode Island people never write letters
to places in the state. When they want
any thing they 'holler."
However enragcd he may be, 1t only
takes the slightest transportation to make
clam calm. Cincinnati Ne,cs.
Daniel Drew was worth 100000
when he was seventy years old. That was
the time to quit; but there's no fool like
an old fool.
The Forsyth (Ga) Adcertissr thus
philosophers: "The soil is the farmers
bank" says an agricultural writer. Oh. If
more people would break that bank.
A vegetarian who was lodging an infur
rated bull behind tree, exclaimed: you
ungrateful beast! you toss vegetarian,
who never ate beef in his life! Is that the
return you make?"
A down-east editor says the ladies' spring
hats are pretty, and are worn on the upper
edge of the left ear, which makes one look
arch and piquant, like chicken looking
through crack in the fence.
Mrs Malaprop writes to sympathze
with poor Payson Weston on his great
walking feet having come off. She doesn't
wonder at it, considering the awful
amount of work they have had.-Punch
The chief difference between the nice lit
tie Sunday-school boy and the little canni.
bal Island boy would seem to be that the
former keeps cent for the missionary
plate, and the latter plate for the mission
airy sent.
A confectioner advcrtises Centennial
Kisses" and sells them two for a cent, but
unless he knocks 80 years off from their
age, and give them away, he can't expect
to compete with the raw article in this
community.
A robber who was recently arrested for
breaking into and entering a store, told
the officer that it amused him to see folks
put two or three strong locks on their
front door, and fastcn the back door with
a small button
Harry, give me bite of your apple?"
said one little fellow of another. No"
refused Harry, eating away rapidly. "you
wouldn't like this; it is a cooking apple
and l never give fellow bite of
cooking apple
A grumbling car-driver said to passen-
ger, You always want me to stop when
you get off" mo, SIR said the passen-
ger, who had no jumping notions, Il don't
care what you do. only want the car
to stop. You can go on.
"L wish might die" sighed middle
aged maiden, as she hung like limp boil
ster out of the third story front window,
on a sunday afternoon, and espied the man
whom she had once coquettishly rejected
placidly propelling an $1S babycart.-
Brooklyn Argus.
Terre Haute Express: "Hark! I hear
an angle sing" sang young man in an
outside township school exhibition. NO,
taint," shouted an old farmer in one of
the back seats, sits only my old mule
that's hitched outside" The young man
broke down and quit"
A gentleman in this city has pair of
pantaloons which were worn by one of his
hnrArol Thoy
made of homespun cloth, except the seat.
which is of thick leather. 1t is inferred
from this that the original owner was a
book agent-Noruich Bulletin.
A New Jersey street-car man wrote to
his sweetheart: II don't care much what
do, you seem to feel stuck up above
hoss-car driver; if my hands is large my
hart is to. want yer to understand that
it is easy ter cry tears, but at the same
yer hart may be tufferin bell-strap."
A basc-ballist named Miller, formely
catcher of the st. Louis club, died in Phil
adelphia last week In his last moments
he was delirious, and fancied he was at
his place in the ball-ield, facing his old
pitcher, Bradley. His last words were:
Two out Brad-steady, now-he wants
high ball-steady, Brad there, knew
it; that settles it."
Mr. Lanier speaks OF GHOSTS of goods
once fleshed and fair" As if he had said,
Remnants of calico dresses once occupied
by pretty girls" it is plain enough when
you understand it Or, stay! perhaps he
referred to the striped stockings worn by
the foremothers Good heavens! will
some friendly breeze fan this aching brow!
Rochester Democrat.
A new lawn game Is called "Vexillo." 1t
has not been introduced here yet, but it is
said to resemble croquet, and we presume
the way to play it is for one young miss
to make misstroke, and then another tells
her that she cheats. and she says 81 don't
cheat half as much as you do" after
which they both pitch the mallets over the
fence go into the house, and don't speak
to each other for six weeks.
A poor curate sent his servant to q
chandler's shop, kept by one Paul, for
bacon and eggs for his Sunday dinner, on
credit This being refused, the damsel,
as she had nothing to cook, thought she
might as we'll so to church, and entered
as her master, in the midst of his dis
course. referring to the Apostle, repeated,
" What said Paul?" The good woman,
the question addressed to her,
paul says, sir, that he'll give
you no more trust till you pay your old
score"
The other evening carriage being
driven up Maple street, had to come to
dead halt to prevent running over child
three or four years old, who was seated III
the center Of the street. ''Is that your
child?" asked the driver of a man who
lounged forward and beckoned to the dust
covered offspring. Guess he Is" was
the slowly spoken answer "Arent you
afraid he'll be run over some days." "He
may be. His brother was run over last
year about this time, and the folks made
up purse OF 800 for me!" Perhaps the
memory of that purse had nothing to do