Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-06-21
HUMOROUS.

ExTERMINATING RArs-AN UNsUc.
cEssFuL ExPERMNCE.-My house has
been infested with rats all winter, and
as setting traps for them did no good,
got Smiley, the sexton at our church
to lend me his dog for two or thres
days. so that ne might help to abate the
nuisance. We put the animal in the
cellar and he inaugurated his reign BY
bowling all night. In the morning,
when the servant girl descended to get
coal for the kitchen fire, the dog bit hel
in the leg. For two days nobody dared
to go into the cellar, and Smiley couldn't
come to our assistance, for he had gone
up to the city.
On the third day the dog bolted up
stairs and out into the yard, where he
encountered the slop man, and removed
mouthful of trowsers and red flannel
drawers from the leg of that worthy
person. Finding the back window in
the parlOr open, he jumped in and as
summed control of that apartment and
the hall. For three days we had to 60
in and out through the kitchen. tried
to dislodge him with clothes prop, but
only succeeded in knocking two costly
vases Off of the mante.-piece, and the
dog became so excited and threatening
that shut the door hurriedly and went
up stairs four steps at time.
There were no rats in the parlor, and
l cannot imagine why he wanted to stay
i'm there. But he did, and as Smiley re-
mained away we couldn't dislOdge him.
On Thursday he smashed the mirror
during an attempt to get up fight with
another dog that he thought he saw in
there, and he clawed the sofa to rags.
Every night he devoted his time to
bowling. On Saturday he had fit in
the hall and spoiled about eight square
yards of Brussels carpet utterly. When
he recovered h, went back into the
parlor. At last l borrowed CO0ley's
dog and sent him i'm to fight Smiley's
dog out. 1t was an exhilarating con-
test. They fought on the chairs and
the sofas; they upset table and
smashed all the ornaments on it; they
scattered blood and hair in blOtches all
over the carpet; they got entangled in
one of the lace curtains, and dragged il
and the frame down with a crash; they
scratched and bit and tore and frothed
and yelled, and at last COOley's dog gave
in, put his tail between his legs and re-
treated, while Smiley's dog got on a
sixty-dOllar Turkish rug so that he
could bleed comfortably.
1t didn't seem to occur to him to 60
home, and Smiley was still out of town.
The next day loaded shotgun and
determined to kill him at any sacrifice.
aimed carefully at him, but at the
critical moment he lodged and two
handfuls of bird-shot went into the
piano and tore it up badly. Then l
tossed some poisoned meat at him, but
he ate all around the poison and seemed
to feel better after the meal than he had
done for years.
Finally, Smiley came home, and he
called to get his dog. He entered the
parlor bravely and attempted to seize
the animal, when it bit him. l was
never so glad in my life. Then Smiley
got mad and, grabbing the dog by the
tail, smashed him through my French
glass window into the street. Then
was not so very glad.
Then the dog went mad and police
man killed him. The rats are in the
house yet, and Smiley's dog cost me
about s4Oo. am going to return to
traps. 1t is cheaper, 4 think.-Mae
Adeler.