The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-14
WHOLE NO. iii.
Pith and Point.

flth ana Point
HE journeyman tailor who fell In love
decided not to press his suit and war
discharged. na,
DoN'T swap with yer relashuns unless
ye ken afford to give them the big end
of the trade.
As ONWARD you march, with vearisome tramp,
Footsore over earth's rough stubble,
You may find IL hard 10 borrow a "stamp"
But it's easy 10 borrow trouble.
Mrs. IRA MEAD. of Greenwich, who
is one hundred and six years old, says:
Few people die after they get to be &
hundred.
SAITH the muse of the New York Esers
ing Nail:
Truth crushed to earth shall rise again,
. And waste its sweetness on the desert air,
In thunder, lightning, or in rain;
None but the brave deserve the fair.
FROM London Fun Con the hat and
cloak fashions): Shocked and astonished
verger-" You bad and wicked boy, why
don't you take off your hat in church"
Bad and wicked boy Overcome with
guiltl-"If you please, sir, I'm little
girl." it-
"A Ohhfb0lMAN WIZ WAC AhNhtC&A ~
preach before medical association re-
turned answer that he would do SO from
the text: "In his disease Asa sought
not to the Lord, but to the physiciansS
and Asa slept with his fathers and died.
The time for the delivery of the sermon
has not yet been fixed.
"JAMEs, my love, perhaps-what do
you think perhaps, may be, you know,
dear-it just occurred to me that il
might be cheaper to get couple of silk
dresses this summer, because, you see.
the mulberry has blighted the silk ip
the South of France, and the crop will
be short, and dress-goods awful high
next year."
"WHAT is the use," cried Yankee
at the Centennial gates, "of standing
here waiting to get in, when you can
skip around and climb over the fence I'M
two minutes, and in two minutes moro q
burly policeman was seen coming out Of
one of the entrances attached to the
nape of this mans neck, who was cry
ing: "Sacrificed Washington, and E
this the boasted liberty of an American
citizen I"
He bought a cheap coat of the gen
tlemen from Jerusalem, and he observed
the next day that it was made of two
kinds of cloth, or else it had faded from
some previous wear and tear. He went
to the dealer with fire in his eyes. Tho
dealer looked at the garment without
surprise, and at the wearer with extreme
wonder. "Vy, mine gootness Z" he
said, "you been wear de goat in de sunf
You t'ink him maat of sheet-iron, heyi"
THE friend of a man who went to the
Black Hills from Detroit, few weeks
ago, to be scalped by the Indians, was at
the postoffice yesterday, and number
of gentlemen extended their heartfelt
sympathies. [" L tell you, gentlemen"
remarked one, "it's mighty tough to
know that your friend has been scalped."
"Wel, yes" replied the friend, "though
when 1 think that Dan would have died
in some idiot asylum anyhow, 1 don't
feel quite so bad about it - Free
Press.
Won BOYLE is in trouble about hard.
In letter to the Washington.
Capital he says: eff you carry gold and
silfer in your pockets around, dot makes
a hole derein, you lose quarter dollar
dere out, and you den say something's to
your wife apout for why she don't keep
lie holes out of your pockets. Den she
gets mad, und makes your head on de
and you got to sphend
anoder quarter dollar for shticking bias
ter, also Mrs. Soothin os Vinslow syrup,
twenty-fife cents. Total, sefenty-fve
cents losed on account of hard money"
Two LITERARY ladies were lately wit
lesses in trial. One of them, upon
nearing the usual questions asked,
u What is your name2 and How old
ire you2" turned to her companion and
said: CT do not like to tell my age; not
hat have any objection to its being
known, but don't want it published in
ali the newspapers" "Well, said tho
witty Mrs. s., "I will tell you how
10 ayoid it. You have heard the obiec-
lion to all hearsay evidence; tell them
you don't remember when you were
born, and all you know of it is by hear
say" The ruse took, and the question
was not pressed.