The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-08
Up. B."ON ETIQUETTE.
The Righteous, Heightened Squibber of the
"JOurnal" ventilates Himself Oh the
New Years business.

The righteous, Heightened squlbber of the
"Journal" ventilates Himself Oh the
New Years business.
So sweet is his article that, as so few ever get
to see his paper. we copy it entire;
New YEARS SNoBBERY.--The absurdity Of the
manner in which certain OF our young clerks;
piddlers in the pierian spring Of knowledge
datsters in literature; nedglings IN scienceInow
they and other persons-those who should have
| grown sage by experiencc-hOw these and all
| OF them make their New Years calls.
| To make a formal call upon family with
whom you are on terms Of perfect equality So
cialy, Is perfectly proper. But to crowd your
self upon every person-to force yourself into
the parlors OF lady you may have scarcely
more than met once, or twice, is barbarism such
as would only be tolerated In the Fiji Islands, or
Central Africa. Another anu stiii more aoom-
Unable feature Of this calling business, was the
snobbery, tue shoddy aristocracy, OF the thing.
Men who all their lives have never been any
thing but servants, clerks in stores, printers or
printers scrubs, painters shop cleaners, plas.
terers' water-carriers,. farmers pig feeders an
at once branch out in a new dress, hire liv-
cry riga burlesque upon private carriage
get q street gamin, who has not thoroughly
washed his hands for q year, dress MIN up IN
some old clothes, four sizes too large, put plug
hat upon him, white gloves upon his black hands
leaving two inches OF conspicuously dirty wrists
in view, paste wide card around his hat, call
him footman, real genuine specimen OF
which adjunct of aristocracy you have never
seen, perch yourself and three or four booty
friends all dressed in bad taste, END start out
calling upon respectable people!
| This was done on New Years day, not as
burlesque, for the parties thought this aplng OF
the airs of the wealthy and aristocratic made
them equally stony"
Tn this country everything of this kind where
! in civil life there can be no distinction which
wealth--or blue, white or black blood can con-
fer; all this was the most contemplate snob'
berry and applies to all who indulged in 1t with
the same force.
an this country everything Of this kind, where
in civil life there can be no distinction which
weather. blue, white or black blood, can con-
fer; all this article was the most egregious dam
phoolishness, and applies to all who indulge in
| it with the same force
1t is clear that the author is a gentleman( y
that is plainly seen from his knowledge OF New
Years customs, and the Language he uses" and
the ladies should feel grateful to him for the in
tense earnestness with which he espouses their
cause [It might be improvement to remark that
no lady considered his paper decent enough to
have her name published in it,
so far as regards the people of Ottawa, no re
ply to the filthy squib is necessary; but the
paper doubtless has exchanges-publisher who
trade off" with him in the vain hope OF seeing
something smart from a man who once had such
q reputation but hasn't said witty thing in two
years-and they may be deceived in the matter
The fact is, no ladys home was invaded by a
"disrespectablc mob" as he indecently charac-
! teriZes the young men Of Ottawa, and the deli
cate feelings of no one grated upon by the pre-
sumption OF any on that day-unless, indeed, the
copsummate cheek OF the gentleman(D himself
may have carried him into respectable man.
sion If the latter s,lpposition was the fact, we
are not aware OF it. For any lady SO afflicted
would consider the call too serious disgrace to
even mention 1t, to be "only store clerk,
printer or printers scrub" or "farmers pig
feeder" would be no disgrace provided the work
was well done, and the person decent in his
habits-which could hardly be said of the gen.
tleman himself when he was farmers pig
FEEDER" or since. He ought by the way, to have
stuck to mush" and not have tried to ape the
airs of the aristocratic by attempting the anon
alous and unnatural role Of teacher of etiquette
to his betters.
He is very careful to inform us that the "toot
man" business was not burleSQue! Gracious
As one of the "snobs" who had all along been
deceiying themselves with the idea that 1t was q
burlesque and as one of the many people who
thought the same way, we are most thankful to
P d. for such stunning piece of information
But we are glad to see the gentleman down on
shoddy aristocracy. His article, however, smells
vastly like "codfsa" aristocracy-an article which
from his personal concomitants, one would nat
urally suppose him greatly to affect He GER
tainly would be an important addition to that
circle At present he may be regarded as in the
dried herring stage, but with little more ripen
ing there is no doubt he will yet develope into
a marvellous phenomenon OF bad smells.
i After all, this is nasty business, like currying
a hog when one must enter the pen to do it
but we hope, by liberal application OF "ho
Hey" and Turkish bath at the spring house t.
purity ourselves sufficiently to be again presenta
bic in respectable society.