Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1876-07-07
WHOLE NO. POI.
FACT AND FANCY.

wears No. boot.-Ddnbttry NeUS.
Why is chicken pie like a guusmith's
shop2 Because it contains fowl-in pieces.
Statisticans announce that this country
consumes annually, 1,400,000,0OO pounds of
butter.
What is more beautiful and poetic than
the child's idea Of ice--"Water gone to
Sleep"
A barrel of -four produces, on an average,
24S loaves Of bread weighing eighteen
ounces each.
The world is full of poetry; the earth is
living with its spirit, and the waves dance
to the music of its melody.
Forty-seven million pins made daily in the
United States, and yet if q man wants one
he has to turn the house upside down to get
it.
The Republican party will be just twenty
one years old next fall. In other words, it
will then be sure to attain its majority
LO'oeH DAILY Courier.
An Iowa farmer cut open an old hornets
nest, Just to examine the inside arrangement.
He says he thinks he will be able to see his
barn in about two weeks.
An Irishman having been told nat the
price of bread had been lowered exclaimed,
"That is the first time ever rejoiced at tho
fall of my best friend !"
An Irshman in Chicago says his board
ing-house keeper must be chess-player, be-
cause she "pawns" the boarders' clothes, and
gives them "stale mate"
An Essex farmer is obliged to chalk his
nose every time he takes walk round tho
farm, to save himself from an old bull which
has strong antipathy to red.
1t is to be hoped that the centennial year
will not be permitted to pass by without the
preparation Of a biography of Washington
and briet history of the United States
Hatokeye.
"Please do not handle" is the Swiss re-
quest "Ne touchez pas sill vous plait, blows
the Frenchman; "Visitors must not touch"
says John Bull, firmly; GLANDS off," growls
the Yankee.
"In Eastern lands" when the government
wants to get rid of troublesome subject he
is invited to dine with the chief local official,
and word is sent to his family that "his din
ner did not agree with him." after which ho
passes into history.
A captain caught an Irish boy in the
middle watch frying some pork and eggs
which he had stolen from the ships stores, to
whom the captain called out "You lubber
you I'll have none of that !" "Faith, cap
tain, I've none for ye," replied the lad.
Another rap at the base ball "boys"-
| XUko,, Eonorol NooD,h, Of X optuol-u xuoo
congratulated because his son had won a
horse race. he said "Yes; and, although he
rode for the cup, yet he is good boy-nev-
er CANDLES, swears, drinks, nor plays base
ball"
Speak up" has become quite a joke in
the English House Of Commons. Whenever
some member is bawling out at the very top
of stentorian voice, in the hope Of roaring
down opposition, he is assailed at every
momentary pause with the cry Of "Speak
up" followed by shricks Of laughter.
An English paper says: "The immense
landing stages at London arc completed.
; The docks OF the port now cover an area Of
420 acres, and form a continuous line Of
more than six miles in length. Their value
is E20,000,000. Twenty thousand vessels
enter the port of Liverpool every year"
Brigham Young is the father of G9 chill
, dren, 10 of whom are living. More than
1 half of these are females, and with but two
or three exceptions, all are blonds, and none
what may be called beautiful. The youngest
, is six years. Wife No. Is, it is sAid treats
+ Brigham as though she were his mothor-in-
law.
"What would be your notion of absent.
= mindcdness !" asked Rufus Choate of wit,
D ness whom he was cross examining. "Well,
+. said the witness, with a strong Yankee ac.
cent, 81 should say that man who thought
t he'd left his watch to hum, and took it out'n
/, is pocket to see if he'd time to go hum and
/. get it, was leetIe absent.minded.
At the centennial the Philadelphia ladies
t cry out: : "Isn't it cunning?" New Yorl
ladies'; allow superbly lovely" Boston
i ladies': "Ah, how exquawsite" Louisville
{ ladies' beautiful, TO shauh !" Chicago
n ladies "Oh, MY wish l owned that =
y while the genuine Yankee girls exclaim
II "Gee.whimminy, but amt that ere a stun.
i per."
'' In Algeria there is a river Of genuine ink
. 1t is formed by the union Of two streams
y y one coming from region Of lerrugnous soil
- and the other draining peat swamp. Tn
y water Of the former is strongly impregnateC
, with iron, that of the other with gallic acid
y When the two waters mingle the acid Of tn
- one unites with the iron OF the other, forming
a true ink.
:. 1t has been estimated by the arithmeti
man Of this office, that if some short char
acter, say cross, had been agreed upon
A reporters to represent the word centennial
a the saving in time, ink aHd pencils, woul
~ have paid the national debt, aud given
y new milch COW to every widow in Salt LAX
% City, besides furnishing a bunch of fir
=, crackers to every centenarian north Of Maso
40 and Dixon's line.-Er.
re "What is the use" cried Yankee at Il
m centennial gates, "of standing here waitiu
III to get in when you can skip around at
"a. climb over the fence in two minutes!" The
us he skipped around and climbed over in tv
of minutes, and in two minutes more a bur
id policeman was seen coming out Of one of Il
ut entrances attached to the nape of this san
mans neck, who was crying "Sacr6c,
Washington, and is this the bOasted liber
le. of an American citizen !"
tn Financial strength being admittedly Il
ea sinews of war the pecuniary standing of Il
p European nations is of considerable interc
he at the present critical juncture. The Lond,
en News gives the liabilities OF the six gre
he powers as follows in round numbers Gre
ear Britain, G775, 100000; Austria-llungar
are 1862 100000; Germany, e46O0D,OOO
Jus France, e03O,OOO,000 Italy, G356,00C
600 Russia, e3S0,O000OO.
"Majesty stripped of its externals
- a.iest." This is more than joke; it is
as. philosophical truth Why is the letter
ich like sewing.machine ? Because it max
sh. needles needless-more ingenious than tru
l. L IL 4 - -