The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-09-13
Why Mr.. Jones Wanted to sell Four
Thousand Cats.

A man came in to see one of the reporters,
and after mentioning that his name was Jones
he said;
"What'n you give me for four thousand
frst-rate cats?''
-Four thou! What? Four thousand catsl
What on earth do you mean?"
''You don't want 'em, see. But do you
know anybody about this neighborhood that
wants three or four thousand competent cats?
Anybody that's troubled with mice? Splendid
cats too. Now do you?''
well. really, Mr.. Jones, can hardly say
do. A man here and there might desire TO
own cat, single, solitary cat, but 1 am
doubtful if anybody is sufficiently enthusiastic
to buy them by the thousand"
swell, that's the way want to sell 'em, or,
in fact, L give 'em away to man who really
yearned for 'em. They are efficient cats, very
"How did you come to have such collec-
tion?"
"I'll tell you. live down the river here on
an island. About eight acres. A few years
ago we were pretty near eaten up with vermin.
Perfectly dreadful. And friend of mine sent
me down seven pairs of tortose-shell cats to re-
lieve the situation as it were. They increased
pretty rapidly for year or two, and cleaned
every rat and mouse and other vermin on the
plantation. Then they couldn't get anything
to eat, and wasn't going to buy food for 'em
so most of them took to the woods, and went
wild and bred like rabbits. Why, two years
ago, it was hardly safe to 60 out In those
woods Just as likely as not tortose-shell
eat you up. So in 1873 had to go out to Col
orado to settle up an estate, and 1 moved my
family up to Chester to stay while was gone.
L thought we'd leave those cats alone for q
while, and maybe they'd starve to death.
came back last June and we concluded to
go down to the island to spend the summer.
When the boat came up to the wharf there was
lean tortoise-shel cat on the top of each Of
the piles of the pier, and you could see 'em
back of the landing rushing around over the
island, hungry and bowling and fighting in q
way to make your hair rise up.
We fought our way through 'em up to the
house, and then you ought to have seeu 'em.
AT least 1900 of 'em collected around the
house, sitting on their hind legs and lifting up
their heads and each of 'em letting out
screech like locomotive whistle. 1t was fiend-
ish. We daresn't go outside the building.
And when the night came they went on the
roof, scratched on the windows, came q pelting
down the chimneys, and kept fighting and
growing and carrying on until morning in the
awfulest way you ever seen in all your born
days.
So in the morning we emigrated. We packed
up, got into the boat and quit, and as we left,
the whole shore. as far as the eye could reach
was squirmiDg with tortoise-shell cats.
And now want to close out the collection.
Splendid chance for man who wants to start
fur store, or to can the meat, or to go gun
ming. If you was to stand off almost any
where and fire into that island, you'd kill if
teen or twenty cats. It's alive with 'em.
Now, you don't know a man that wants cats,
do you? 1 am going to advertise for one, and
if 1 can't find buyer, do you know what I'm
going to do? Pm going to take steamboat
down and squirt coal oil all over that island
and Sc. it afre. Burn her off clean. And il
l do you come down and see me, and I'll show
you more roast cats than you'll ever see again
the longest day you liye."
Then Mr.. Jones withdrew to hunt for q Gus
TONER