The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-16
mIsCELLANEOUs.

The iron horse has but one sar---ths
engineer.
Check reins and binders are going
out OF fashion in England.
Pluck will carry . man whsrs palace
ear will mob.
The ladies like 10 see greenbaeks
converted into pinbscks.-lNew York
Graphic.
Professor Tyndall has been offered
baronetcy because he wrote q treatise
on "Sound."-lN. Y. Herald.
On a farm at Gap, Lancaster county.
Pa. there are chestnut fence rails, we'll
preserved, which were made in 1900
ll6 years ago.
A frontier Texan who was asked il
he was going to attend the Centennial
Exhibition, guilelsssly replied: "Id
like to, but I'll have to put it of till
ns~t ysss."
Landlord, didn't you ever have q
gentleman with you before?" Are you
a gentlsman7" "Yes, / am" Then
/ never had one stop with me before"
An editor we'll known in the vicinity
OF Irvington, n. Y, very religious
sort Of q chap. awoke in church last
Sunday morning, and yelled out
"D---it, more copy"
Brother, why don't you ask the
stranger to prsy?" Because, "rsprov-
ingly observed q deacon, "this amt no
place for practical jokes. That mans
the president Of gas company"
John Murry, OF Baltimore, died sud.
denly the other night. He was pairing
his toe-nails when his knife slipped
and entered the inner side OF his thigh,
severing the femoral artery, from which
injury he bled to death.
Newspapers from all parts Of Kansas
chronicle the most encouraging pros.
poets for this years crop. tits estima-
ted that the growing wheat crop will be
by many hundred thousand bnshels,
the largest ever raised in the State.
Freuchman. describing rheumatism
and gout, says: "Place your joint in .
wise, turn the screw till you can bear
il no longer that gives you an idea Of
rheumatism now give the instrument
one more turn and you have the gout."
Near Loves station, on Salt River.
Pike county, No., last week, there
were 20 blacksnakes and four rattle.
snakes killed on Tuesday. and 8 black.
snakes and 81 rattlessakes on. Wednes-
day, but it isn't much place for
snakes.
The Osceola (iows) Sentinel tslls
about boy in Clarke county vbo eats
hay like an OF, and has Q singular ap-
petite for raw vegetables. He dislikss
bread or cooked food. desiring rather
to live on the raw productions OF ma
ture.
An old author qaainuy rsnarks:.-
avoid arguments with the ladies. In
spinning yarns among silks and satins
q man is sure to be worsted asd twist
ed and when q man 10 worsted and
twisted he may consider himself wound
up"
Jenny Lind, on board the Atlantic,
asked one Of the fremen, On Irishman.
il he had il In his power, would he eI-
change places with her. "Faix. GER
tainly would" he replied, ''if could
sing a. we'll" And why2" asked Misc
Land. "FaiI, and because" said he.
"the wages are better"
Mr. Tilden's agents are nov in Wash
| ington city loaning money TO Southern
members Of Congress-, and explaining
the peculiar process by which New
York New Jersey, and Connecticut,
united with the South, will elect Mr..
Tilden President, and place the South
upon It's feet-(Cintiunati Enquirer
DEM
TIE remark is sometimes made that
! there IL no difference between the two
great political parties OF to-day. There
certainly is this differences The Re.
publican party asks the people to M
nKxRER what 10 has done in the past.
and the Democratic party asks the peo'
pie 10 FORGET what IL hes dope.--l Hud'
son Post.
A MANS horse baking aud refusing
10 move, he adopted the ingenious de-
vice GU Vtoy III oLC0 W - C&oAA NeRe9AHs .
he built small FIRE under the animal.
As soon as the horse felt the heat, he
moved at once. He advsn ,ed sufficient
ly to bring the carriage over the fame.
and there he paused, 10 the edification
OF crowd Of observing citizens, and
to the satisfaction OF himself. The FIRE
was quenched without the aid Of the
department.
Miss Frazier, a Brooklyn lass Of for
tune, heiress 10 so, 900, went to Htus.
Vile to spend the winter. A man q
twenty.four wooed, eloPed with and
married her. The groom vas engaged
70 another young woman. Miss Rivers,
who had her trcusseau all arranged
When she heard OF ii shc did not fains
swsv. but tore around and swore abe
voojd sue him for damages. which, II
sbs rsis them, will have 70 come cut ol
,h> ether o7rl'o pocket.