davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

In the court IN Belfast Ne. recently, Judge
Libby sentenced Martin l.. Tower to twenty.
i've years in the State Prison. This fact was
communicated to the prisoners mother, who
was struck by the magnitude of the sentence
"What did they do that for?' she exclaimed
"Twenty-fve years. Why, he won't be con
tented there three weeks"
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

AS coored resident OF Detroit was breast
ing the storm, with new umbrella over his
head, he was halted by friend and brother,
who asked, "ls dat your umbrella ~ as,
sah-cost me $2," was the prompt reply.
"Mr Savage" said the other very solemniy'
"when man will buy ~ umbrella 10 keep
the wet ot,n firty-ccnt suit of close, what's
de use 10 talk about economy
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Country bookseller to Fourth street wo'
man-"Yes. hut the work is both instructive
and hum rous" Fourth street woman
"Tna' amt the point You see my husband
has crippled so many agents, and you're Il
nice looking young man, and l hate 10 see
YOU hurt, That him comiu' Ill the back
wav," The Young man SAID there was moth.
ing compulsory abnnt it, and was gone.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Some of Mr.. and Mrs Potter's friends hap
pened 10 remember that last Wednesday was
the tenth anniversary of their wedding, and
they determined to get up surprise party
and call at Potters house. SO everybody
purchased little present of some kind to
take along, and Mrs. Potter's aunt got beau
tiful illuminated sign inclosed in walnut
frame and bearing the Inscription, Heaven
Bless Our Happy Home" and Mr. Potter's
uncle got another one with the legend, True
Love Never Dles," And when the provi-
slons were all ready the party started for the
house. They wanted to surprise the happy
couple as much as possible. so they conclud-
ed not to ring the door.bel. But Mrs. Pot
ter's aunt softly opened the front door, and
assem- bled the party in the entry. Then, at
a given signal, they opened the sittingroom
door, aud burst III with loud laugh
The scene that met their eyes was very
interesting one Mr.. Potter was lying upon
the floor with his nose bleeding, and Mrs
Potter was leaning over him with q rolling.
pin IN her hand, with which she had evident
iy been hammering the husband of her bo-
som. Both of them looked hot and mad
When the company came IN Mrs. Potter hid
the rollIng-pn in the skirts of her dress, aHd
Potter picked himself up with sickly at
tempt at smile lowering about his face.
Good Joke, wasn't itg' said Potter, with
that smile growing sickler every minute
I"We were practicng for ,ableaux'
mo, we weren't either snapped Mrs. Pot
ter.
"Why, nv love" hc replied, 1--WE certainly
were You were impersonating Pocahontas
saving the life Of Smith, and | was Smith
You know that we are going 10 have tableauS
this evening"
"No I don't know IT, either We amt 90
ing to have any such foolery in this house.
MY darling, how changeable you are
Now YOU must have them | want the folk.
to see YOU As Pocahontas. Won't she make O
charming Pocahontss-now look at herr"
"You know banged you with this rolling
pin because you gave me impudence Now
that's the whole truth. And I'll do again.
"No, YOU WON'T" said Potter
"Ies, will"
"I'd like 10 see you
You would, hey. Iss think | daresn'
because these people are sticking themselves
! in here where they're not wanted. I'll show
iyou."
| Then Ms. Potter uplifted her weapon anC
made dash at min, wnereupon Mr.. Potter
walked as rapIlly as he could, consistently
with dignity. out through the door IN the
ward. Then the company concludes to al
| iourn. Mrs. Potter went into Jones anC
stuck Heaven Bless Our Happy Homes
! in the stove, and Mr.. Potters uncle split VI
"True Love never Dies" with the ak, in dis
gust; and Mr.. aAd Mrs. Potter celebrated
their anniversary i1 their own way by them
selves. Il will be surprising if anybody eve
undertakes 10 get mp another surprise party
in our ylllagc.-.Ksr .lieler, M N,1 IorI
! Weelg
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A young lady attending a Masonic enter
tainment in Keokuk, Iowa, last week, was
much disconnected on learing that banquet
had been prepared, On looking at the ele-
giant tables in the supprr-ioom, sae cxclaim-
ed Good gracious! Are they gong to sit
down: didn't expect tbst-l-I amt fixed
to sit down. Her escort looked down at her
pull-back" for moment, and then found a
place for her alongside the mantlepiece,
where she could take her supper standing.
But it was "A very narrow escape.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08
BUDGET OF FUN.

Girls rIghts-kisses.
Music by handle-A street organ.
Hostile furniture-Armed chairs.
A par of tghts-Two drunkards'
A matter OF course--A river bed.
Ballet dancers study gauze and effect.
A bootless enterprse-Go'ngb bareio"'eu'
Milk is our first drink, but we come 10 Inc
bier at last.
Wasting weetness-Putting your a'n'
about pretty woman.
A wag wants to know If snoring is cons'u'
ed Jea2 humming (becoming)'
Is there anything in the world that can Oea'
a good witeg Yes; bad husband.
Men are geese, women are ducks, anu birds
of a feather flock together
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Two young men walking down Broad 81
the other day were discussing the means o.
obtaining a smoke. 1--we got counterfeit
hslfdollar,' said one. Cant You pass itr'
ssked the other. II don; know you might"
"Mer' and the young mans face became one
continuation of an elongated exclamation
point, "mei Why, the fact of my having so
much money would create suspicion. '-.iH-
castd Ca C1rOHicle dhd .Se,itas.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A little fellow, who was at neighbor's
house about noon the other day, watched the
preparations for dianer with great interest,
but, when asked to stay and eat something
he promptly refused. Why, yes, Johnnie,
YOU had better stay" said the LADY; "why
can't you?" "well, cause said the little
fellow, ina said musn't unless you ask me
three tines They invited him twice more
right oil
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Prose Laura (who is still u triae roman
ticl: MDont you think there is something
very solemn about the fall of the dead leaves,
ReSiuxldg" Reginald her husband (who has
outgrown his romance) Very" (Pause);
"Taiklng of dead leaves what the deuce and
all have done with my tobacco!'
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A most realistic piece of acting was lately
witnessed in New Orleans, where the hero
inc and the young man cast for father both
lisped in speech. At the recognition after
eslraHgcmcni, he said, "Aith 1--we, it it'll my
thilde." The family inllrmity at once dis
covered the relationship, though it was not
so intended by the dramatst.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

The London Adoerttser says that Sarnia
man bet ten dollars that he could ride the fiy
wheel of saw mill, and as his widow paid
the bet she remarked "Willlam was kind
husband, but lie did not know much about
hy.wheels"
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

The doctor went out west TO practice his
profession. An old friend met him on the
street one day, and asked him how he was
succeeding in his business. "Firsi.rate," he
replied. "I've had one case "Well--and
what was thaty' ut was a biith' said the
doctor. allow did you succeed with thatE'
Well the old woman died, and the child
died.-but think I'll save the old man YETI
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

The following epitaph, copied from Penn
sylvania tombstone, has been sent to the HIS
torical Society of that State: Here lies the
bodie of Mar garet Fay her would II her
could but her couldn't stay, her had bad legs
and baddlsh cough it were her legs as car
ried her off,
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08
Lego

INIsTltATON's ssALE su. OF, !,
IA REAL ESTArE-By virtue OF an order ana decree OF
the County Court OF La Sale county Illinois mace on ane
tor de vns non Of the estate OF Michael Rsn deceased
o leave to sell the real estate OF deceae at the No.
yember term A. D. l65 SAID court TO wit On the twenty
third day OF November 1873 shall on the tenth day OF
1916 between the hours OF ten ocock IN the
forenoon ve O'Clock In the afternoon Of said day
a public sale the south door OF the County Court House,
the city OF Ottawa county real estate described
as follows to wit: Lot number seven, In block number
forty In States Addition to the cy) OF ottawa
and also the following described part OF LOT Of land VIZ
Sixty front by hundred and twenty feet deep 'front.'
Ing De Leon street. being the northeast corner or part
lot number six In block number i've n OTTAWA N9rtn al
situate In said city OF OTTAWA IN La Sale county llnels
on the following terms to wit One halt Of the
money to be raid upon the connrmaton by said County
Court OF said sale and the remainder TO oe psia we've
months thereafter with interest at the rate OF ten per cent
per annum purchaser give approved security note
sale mortgage the sod to secure the pay
ment OF remainder OF the purchase money and inter
est and upon confirm alton by said Court and eomp
with said terms OF SALE will make deed or deeds 10
the purchaser purchasers OF the premises by law
provided.
Dated this 10th day OF December a: D. 1873.
WILLIAM p. HENERY.
Administrator de boRis Of the Estate oil
decli Michael Ryan, deceased.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Over the porch of the Old South Church
at Boston is chisselled: Behold have set
before you an open door," and under, on the
door, is printed in emphatic letters, " "fosi-
lively no admittance."
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

"A certain colored deacon, on occasion of
missionary collections, was wont to shut his
eyes and sing: Fly abroad, thou mighty
Gospel" with such earnestness and unction
that he would quite forget to see the plate as
it came around. "Oh, yesr' said the plate
bearer, "but just you give something to make
il fy."
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

There may be such thing as love at first
sight" remarked Detroit girl, as she twist.
ed a "friz" around the curling iron, "but |
don't believe in IT. There's Fred, 1 saw him
a hundred times before loved him. In fact
I shouldn't have fallen in love with him when
] did, if his father hadn't given him that
hnuse and lOtn
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A Detroit woman who was turned out or
her house for non, payment OF rent, went out
ia good style, putting on silks and JeWeiry,
and having her hair frizzed In extra style Tor
the occasion.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A New York merchant has been detected
measuring thrty-four inches to the yard
Two inches is nothing on towel, but 1t tells
heavily on woolen shirt when the thef'
,nomeier goes down.-Uetrott Free Press.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

"Have you any nice fresh farmers eggs:
inquired precise old lady at grocery store.
No. man," replied the practical clerk, but
we have some very good hens eggs she
took three to try.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Man-"Do you think it would be safe to'
me to cross this pasture?" Maid-"Well, th'
old bull don't like red very much, but if yov
will chalk your nose guess he won't ATTACK
vOun
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

They have found petrified Mormon II
Utah, and, from the number or dents IN ,ht
head, evidently made with poker ana NAT
iron, it is judged that he had at least 'hir'y
three wives.-NOrrist0aoR Herald.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

1t is said that the Baptist minister who is
carrying on the pen fight against the Catho
lies at Trenton, n. j., is so bitterly opposed
to the Roman faith, that in manuscript he
not not cr0ss his letter rs.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

"Six feet in his boots!" exclaimed Mrs.
Part,ngton, what will the lmprudence OF
this world come TO, | wonder, why, they
might as vel. tell me the man had SIX heads
in his hat
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

What is the difference between an unclean-
Iy servant and chicken? Why none; for one
is a foul domestic, and the other is dcmes'
tic totcI.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08
y MEDIUM ur .BrcHANGE.-lt was Bur

y MEDIUM or 6rChANGE.-lt was Bur
lington commercial traveller, just in from a
collection trip, and he leaned up against the
desk in picturesque attitude To make his re.
port.
"How about Slocum:" asked the principal,
after several other customers had been talked
over.
"he'H paw. lie saws he'll pav YOU in pork. 9"
Pork exclaimed the merchant. "Pork
nothing. This is a dry goods house; what
in thuRder does he mean by saying he'll pay
me in porky'
We'll, don't knew, replied the unruffied
Traveller. "but he i.,ld ne he'd pay you IN a
hogs eye, and guess that means pork.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

In case of hydrophobia the doctors say
cauterize the wound. But We know OF a
Young man bitten by love who caught her eyes
and ii made him great deaf worse.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

If all the soft things that have been sad
by the light of the past summer at the sum
rner resorts could be put into book form, what
q. "spoony" volume it would make.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A lady applying for admission 10 the jun
ior class of an Eastern seminary being ques-
toned by the President as TO her qualinca-
tions, replied: 81 ain much OF an srlihme'
ticker but am an elegant grammarist.'
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A woman Is very like kettle, if you come
10 think of it. She sings away so pleasantly
then she stops-and when you least expec' H.
she boils over .-Judy.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Doubtless Mr.. L. G.. Samples, OF Georgia,
don't appreciate what narrow escape he had
from a falling tree, which killed the two
mules he was driving. And yet samples
Of such ingraiitude constantly.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

This is the way the newspapers talk IN
Louisiana: "If that convicted thief and
robber Jim Walker, wants any fuss with US
he can have steel or buckshot in unlimited
quantities by poking his nose around our
corner"
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Birdie" is what young husband tondly
called his wife, because, as he says, she Is
always associated in his mind with a dtH.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Cheerful-They are betting in London ,nat
the Prince of Wales will be assassinalea De-
fore his return from India.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

A Cape May (AmericU belle says the baths
there are as "exhilerating as the clasp OF a
lover" She has tried both.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

It is not so extraordinary that Nebuchad'
nezzar lived on grass. We know OK nun
,lreds who live on the turf.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

NOTICE.-EsTATR OF LEVI TEMPLE, DKcEAshp;-
~ Notice hereby given, that the undersigned ADMIN.
of the estate Levi Temple late Of the county OF
La Sale and State Of Illinois, deceased will appear oeore
ing the 2ls dayl of February 1876 at he County Soart
House Ottsws, In said county. when and where all per
having claims demands against said estate are no
tilted attend and present the same In writing 'or ad
Iustment -
ALEXANDER J. HANNA,
decIl6w Administrator.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

NOTICE.-EsTATK OF OLIVER II. sIGLEB, DEcK' D..
~ Notice hereby given that the undersigned Executor
OF last will and testament OF Oliver H. Sgler late Of the
county OF La Sale and state Of illinois, deceased VIII ap
near Before the County Court of said coupty the third
Monday beng the 18th January 1896 at the County
Court House In Ottawa in said county when ana wneae al
notified to attend and present the same In writing ior
adjustment,
Dated this Sd day of December a. D. ls.5. -r,,,,
REUBEN I. A. ALBERTi.
deci-6w Executor.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

>rO,TICE.-EsTATR OF Loyal RICHARDSON, DECD.
Notice is hereby given that the undersigned, Admin
istraor with copy OF win annexed OF the estate Of Loyal
Richardson late OF the county La Sale and state OF s
deceased wappear before the County Court OF said county
on the third Monday being the 18th da OF January 1896
at the Court House In Ottawa, In said coNny when au
where all persons hsvng claims demands against SAID
estate notified to attend aud same In wrg
for adjustment -
N ISAAC W. HOWE,
decj-6w Administrator, &c.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Men are geese, women are ducks, anu birds
of feather flock together.
The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-08

Is there anything in the world that can Oed
a good wiley Yes; bad husband.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-10-02

The Tribune says. LIFE IL
rather a lrolic than a play."
The world saws. LIFE con.
ltalns no end OF attractions.
The Most fascinating The Times SAYS, LIFE pro-
lvokcd .uproariOus merrimcnt"
Entertainment The Telegram says LIFE
may be considered q great
Ever Presented In success"
The sun says, The laughter
New York and applause were uproarions"
The Herald says, " The Snow
Comedy and Spectacle Ballet In LIFE IL most novel,
and Is q great realistic eject F."
United. The Mail q Va, "Certanly
never was play more splen.
didy mounted, nor cast to such
accomplished artistic"
Tne Graphic s1y-, 1.-THE Jap
ancfe set Outvcs In pictures Qus
elegance anything ever seen"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-07-13
DOM PEDRO'S FATHER.
How an American Captain Enabled Him
to Escape from Rio JaneirO. r.

How an American Captain Enabled Him
to Escape from Rio JaneirO. .r.
[From the Norwich Conn Bulletin.l
Apropos of Dom Pedro's visit to this
country, an interesting story is told. 1t
will be remembered that in 1922 the
Brazilians rebelled against Portugal
under the oppressive acts of the Cortes,
proclaimed their independence, and
s0enferred.the imperial crown on Dom
Pedro, the son of John VI. of Portugal,
then regent during his fathers absence.
This was the father of the present Dom
Pedro. He ruled till 1881, when forced
to it by growing dissatisfaction, which
eliminated in a short but violent revO-
luton, he abdicated in favor of his son.
Popular feeling against him was very
bitter, and his personal safety was
threatened so that he was forced to con-
ceal himself. .....
1t was at this juncture that StOning-
ton vessel put into Rio JaneirO with a
cargo consigned to the British Consul at
that place. Her. master was Capt.
Thomas Dunbar of StoningtOn, an old
sailor, with the courage of a lion and
the heart of child. He lay in port
some days, discharging and receiving
cargo, and was at length ready to sail
The night before his departure the
British Consul sent for him to come to
the Consulate, and, after a long pre-
liminary conversation, told him that the
Emperor was in hiding in his house,
and asked Capt. Dunbar to aid in his
escape.- This the latter at once con-
sented TO do. The question then arose
how it should be effected. The wharves
and water fronts were lined with police
and soldiers, watching for the, royal
fugitive, and escape seemed almost i'm
possible. A plan was finally agreed
upon, and in the end proved successful.
The ship, which lay at one of the
wharves, was got ready for sea the next
morning, and was On the point of get
ting under way when the Captain sud-
deHly recollected that he had forgotten
to take his ship-bread aboard. A mes
senger was accordingly dispatched, and
in some way it was procured at the Con-
sulate. A wagon-loadof biscuit in bar
rels was sent down and rolled across
the wharf and into theS vessels hold.
In one of them was Pedro |. The ship
got under way, and when safe from
pursuit, the eask was opened and he
was liberated, nearly exhausted by his
position. The ship came to Stoning-
ton, where the Emperor was landed un-
recognized, and whence he left for Eu-
rope. He made Capt. Dunbar present
of 5000 for his service, which at the
time was considered a munifcent re-
ward. Capt. Dunbar frequently related
the story in later years, and in an ex-
ceedingly graphic manner. He lived
to be over eighty, and died a few years
ago at the residence of his son-in-law,
Capt. Hall, near Westerly, R. l, .s.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-07-13
How Chinese Women are Shipped to
America.

The San Francisco Call says: The
steamer at Hong Kong lies at anchor in
the bay, after she has received her cargo.
The regular Chinese coolie passengers
are given to understand that on day
named she will sail, and that they must
be ready to go on board at an early hour
in the morning. At about three o'clock
a. M. the embarkation begins, the COO
lies being brought out from the shore in
lighters, which usually carry from 4O0to
600 persons. When the lighters come
alongside, a gangway is made, and
along this the coolies pass in single file,
each having in his hand a ticket with
which he has been provided, which he
exhibits. As soon as all are ON board
the anchor is weighed and the ship
steams out of the harber. -..g -.. tt
But before all this, which is regular,
has occurred, and under the cover of
the darkness of night, small boats, or
"sampans," as they are called in Cuba,
move steadily off from the shore, each
containing from five to ten Chinese
women of the lowest order. These
women do not pass aboard the ship
by any gang plank, but they
are put through a port, which has
been left conveniently open for this pur
pose. They are received on board by
some officer of the ship, who has pro-
vided secret hiding-place for them;
and before the gray twilight of MORN
ing appears, every thing about the ship
has a remarkably regular appearance.
Just before the ship reaches Yokohama,
on her way to San Francisco, all the
Chinese passengers except the women,
are mustered on the main deck, and are
made to pass through the narrow gang
way, only wide enough for one to pass
at a time. Their passage tickets are
taken up and another ticket furnished
each one, to show that he will be all
right when disembarked at San Fran
CISCO While this inspection is in pro-
gress upon the main deck, two of the
ships officers go into the steerage to
ascertain if there are any stowaways
on board. If any are found they are
put ashore at Yokohama; but no in
stance has ever been known where a fe-.
male stowaway was put ashore, except
after the arrival of.the steamer in San
Francisco. n- lsla -t ll-al ga.
After the ship has arrived in this port,
opportunities are given to the owners of
these women TO smuggle them ashore.
This is done by the cOnnivaHce OF some
officer of the ship, and possibly of some
subordinate Custom-house officer.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-07-13


The King was then asked, in accord
ance with the etiquette of the times,
what dish he would command first.
The various courses we're enumerated
to him.. -isllstsIiaIt t4 rlif.lasi ,.,-3 ~
""Ah!" he suddenly exclaimed, "you
have partridge pie. That is my favor
ite dish. Give me a large plateful of
it, and give one also to my friend Don
Esteban de Ceyallos wonder. Don
Esteban, partridge pie fsno Castillisn
dish, but warrant you you will Ike IT,
There, taste it, and then tell me if it is
not good, l and the other gentlemen
will waituntil YOU have tasted the pie. ;"
The Spaniard had tnrned very pale.
Thick drops of perspiration gathered
on his forehead, and ne began to trem-
bic violently. The other guests looked
in surprise at the King and Don Es-
teban. = ~ = ~, a7' -n
! "What!n asked the King, in a tone.
of surprise, 90 you refuse the dish
which a king offers youP Svenson,"
he said, turning to one Of the officers
Behind him, "take this man from
Spain into the courtyard and hang him
up by the, neck until he is dead - zia
= A bombshen falling into their midst
could not have produced more intense
excitement than these words.
The Spaniard frantically begged for
mercy; but the King was inexorable,
and the prisoner was taken out TO meet
his doom. h. -- a a.-..',. ~ a.
Then Gustavus Adolphus caused
some of the pie to be given to a dog.
The latter Immediately showed symp-
toms of poisoning, and died in less than
fifteen minutes. .1
The King now told them what the
Spaniard had done, but without men
tioning. the names, of Rosanna and her
father. -m
The Burgomaster was so enraged at
the occurrence that he had his cook, a
rather stupid fellow, arrested but there
was no proof against him, and he had
to be released. -