The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-09-16
HTMNRNUS.
A striking nTair-a clnck.

Always bound to follow suit Your
tailor's bill.
A good place for match makers-The
School Of Design.
Huxley wears mines, which is evil
dence enough that he is not over here
on bOOtIeSs errand.
OrnitholOgists tell us that the owl is
a wise bird. He certainly is very
solemn 'un.
We find that he came to his death
from calling Bill jackson liar" was
the verdict of "A corners jury in Mis-
sUuri.
Mrs. PartlngtOn" is sOicitious to |
know whether man who dips his can |
into tank of water is a can-tank-erOus |
man.
Would it be proper to call retired |
liquor dealers country estate a bar
own ial mansion &?
4 lhese new W styles of paniers do away
with newspaper bustles, and journal
must run on its merits alone.
The FillerdelGer Convention for re,
vising the spelling OF the English lang
widge hez ajerned.
A young lady, ON being asked what
business her lover was in, and not lik-
ing TO say he bottled soda, answered
He's practising tizSician."
The Sultan continues to haze deliri-
rum tremens, and thinks he sees Ben
Butler coming up the back stairs with
hustle on.
A locomotive driver Is never proud of
the wounds he received In the army, be-
cause an engineer always carries his
cars behind.
The verses, love to steal while
weight" are supposed to have been
written by grocer given to short
measures.
" Are you lost, my little fellow ?"
: asked a gentleman OF four. year.Old on
Main street Saturday. NO." ho sob
bed in reply, b-but m-my mother is"
: With what faculty ought common
} street thief to be eminently endowed ?
-Ut being too hot for guessing, we
| give the answer at once) : Purse pick
acity (Perspicacity.)
A pair of slippers-a couple of cells.
A man of steady habits 49, the man who
always wears the same clothes Bills
of eXchange-lOver' kisses. See-tare-
ing men-ralroad conductors.
Beggars shouldn't be chew-seTs, I"
as the man remarked when tramp, who
q accosted him for tobacco, growlrd be-
cause he offered him plug instead of
V fine cut.
n The latest recipe for true eloquenCe
= was given by minister at the Martha s
g Vineyard Baptist camp meeting yester.
r day. Here it is Get yourself full
e of the subject, knock out the buug, and
70 let nature caper."
l. A girl died in Vermont the other
y day from poison in the colored stock
70 ings which she had been in the habit of
wearing. This should serve as lesson
= to girls not to pull their cOlored stock
Ii ings on with their teeth.
" Peter, don't you enjoy the astrono.
mical phenomena these evenings ?''
SAID well-to-d citizen, residing in
:, West Harrisburg, to his colored EN-
20 ploye, the other evening. "Clare tC
!. !, goodness, never tIied 'e.n mushmel
10 On's my favOrite fruit -
"a Il" Percy, this parting seems like it''
n
IA than hard, Plantagenet it's bitter, it''
to bitter" Have you any last reques
a to make ?" Yes" said Percy, thu
W tea-s coming, into his eyes, "give me {
,e chew of tobacbo."
in Song writers have good deal to say
st aOout the old school-hOuse, but al,
er very careful not to mention the fac, II a
ne a rabbit track would have pulel then
d. away from the dear old structure a
to race>hOrse speed during any period o
b. their attendance.
lis Twenty Brooklyn ladies voted on tn
~ question Has a young lady the righ
10 to kiss gentleman with whom sh
eu takes an evening drive There wer
u, fnlneteen affirmative votes. The on
~ negative vote was cast by womal
'lV with red hair and glass eye.
rs Some traveller of high, artistic miLd
evidently foreigner, is led to observe
re 'No one can walk along the platform
of railroad depot and glance in at tn
II. car windows without noticing the tota
ne absence of beauty that characterize
ali the average American nose.
o. Quite a matter of taste.-Romanti
ny swell Ito bOatman) )-"What a sublim
he sight is such vast expanse of water. !.
| Matter of fact -boatman -" swell, it.
ne quite matter o. taste, sir for my par
| should think sublime sight 'ud be
nd slight expense O. brandy and war'rer.
''How do you like your new minister
ou Madge 2 asked one stylishly dresse
ce young lady of another, in a Hlghlan
ou car the other day. "0h, he is jus
splendid" shesreplied with animation
let "You ought to see him, Maud. He
III so handsome, and prays so beautifully
Ir. and reads the hymns In such Lowell
ad way and besides, Maud, there was
ed dreadful scandal about him In the plac
L l...l.. l.. 49, l.