The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-02-23

wonder, Mr.. Editor, If you have any
idea what the top drawer OF u lady's bu'
reau contains? II you have, then you
can fancy something of the condition my
notebook presents, for ! have iotted
memoranda there about as carclessly as
have poked gloves and laccs. ribbons,
cards, candy, turs. photographs and jew
clry in that blessed upper drawer on the
other side of my room. a minute ago
I searched there for missing earring.
now, with equal disgust, I've been whrl-
ing over the leaves where heiroglyhpics,
as mysterious as any on the Rosetta
stone, pretend to remind me of interest
ing facts! o dear what Is one to tic
when this diverging Washington life for
bids regularity in anythingg
Every day go to the capitol as regu-
larry as any other member Of congress
perch myself at my desk and listen
eagerly for oracles that refuse to utter
anything worth repeating. More inven'
tive and daring writers send dispatches
concerning political tcmpests that have
meyer occurred, but don't know enough
OF political tcchnicalities to increase
knowledge in that way. AMI besides !
have still n memory of certain maternal
admonitions upon the sin of Storytelling.
The funniest thing in the house yesterday
| was when in the midst OF confusion n
Granger member felt his senses rceling.
and, having screamed mir. Speaker" at
least six times, he succeeded In gaining
his attention long enough 10 say ner-
vously, "Mr. Speaker. rise to pint OF
order, and insist upon having it,
Then, while every body was talking at
once. and the gentleman from Iowa
(McCreary) was losing both time and
temper, up hoped Morey, from I.ouisi-
ana, desiring the gentleman to allow him
1.-TWO minutes "Two minutes:f in
quired MoCreary. "Ies, two minutes"
quoth Morey. McCreary yielded and
Mr.. Morcy prepared himself to speak, by
sending TO the clerks desk an extract
from the Chicago Times, and buttoning
his coat tightly round him. Old members
Of congress, men OF experience and
ability spring to their feet at any mo-
ment quite ready for action, never car
ing a picayune Tor personal appearance,
unless indeed they give an additional
rumple to their hair, adding the impress
ivenss of RULED crest TO their already
excited faces. But new men like Morey,
men who amount to nothing in any way,
deliberately get ready before claiming the
floor. They retire TO the drcssing-room,
use the congressional hair brushes and
clothes brushes, pull down their wrist
bands and polish their nails, then but
ton their coats tightly they never omit
that, their toilcttes are completed. SO
Morey came yesterday advancing down
the aisle with as much dignity as ter
rier, gracefully supported himself upon
a convenient desk and waited while the
clerk read what
IHE FiEAD OF HE CHICAGO TINES
had cholen to priut concerning certain
conclaye Of carpct-baggers Uleiading NJ.
MoJ>y's aane. Mr.. Morey listened, then
in those two precious minutes he begged
leave to explain that he was not present
at any such cOnclavcs that he had not
been in any way responsible for proceed.
Ing. there, ETC., etc. Well, the atten-
ton of the house had been claimed for
nothing 30 the house courteously re-
veuged itself, by burst of derisive
laughter and "a chorus Of voices snceringly
asking "who cared whether you were
there or not! z" Ii was rich, for MOrey is
carpet-bagger, and there is very
striking resemblance between his own
hair and that Of his dusky constituency.
Theirs is black and woody. while his
cap!llaries are deeply, darkiy, beautifully
red, but they kink as tightly as
any Africans; so tightly indeed, that
his forehead Is drawn up M aspiring
wrinkles. And am morally
sure that hair was win
ming card in his election.
GEN. GoKDoS's VII. Mr.. LAMAKs
ELECTION.
Apropos TO this comes the recollection
Of MortOn's intercepiion OF Morton's
speech. You have seen some people
who never were happy unless they
were miserable. The senator from Indi-
ana Is never happy unless lac can make
somebody miserable, so as the issues
OF the late war are fading out, and
the bitterness between the two sec.
tions subsiding, Mr.. Morton delights to
strike bruised spots with heavy
blows; TO light local fires with stray fag.
ots lac can find In remote corners, bu,
now and then some wit sharper than
Ills own, deals him thrust not easily
parted; and il Gen. Gordan had never
said anything else worthy OF attention
his remarks at Atlanta the other da,
would make his fame. Urging upon hi.
, friends the necessity for patience anc
calnness lac added "You have now tc
only light the endless Christian battl,
, against the world, the flesh and--the sen
! dtor from Indiana ~ lie called no names
: he made no libelous charges. but ever,
, body knows the third person usual,
completing the aforesaid trinity, so tn
r Int ELECTS shouts wherever it l. repeated
q Mr.. Lamar, Whose recent triu,nphan
election In Mississippi has rcjoiced tin
y hearts Of all who care to have statesmen
a III our national councils) was chattin.