The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-06-22
Items of Interest.

u6 l0AhS o0udUO udS BtSSCll u DllI
excluding from jury duty all persons
unable to read and write the English
language.
Cinnamon who cut off their pigtails
sell them to shopkeepers who supply
the San Francisco young ladies with
switches.
A new rule on the Central Vermont
railroad requires every employee to take
the total abstinence pledge, and dis
missal is to follow violation of it.
A despairing swain, in a fit of despera-
ton, recently declared to his unrelenting
ladylove that it was his firm determine
ton to drown himself, or perish in the
attempt.
A clergyman said, the other day, that
modern young ladies were not daugh-
ters of Shem and Ham, but daughters
of Hem and Sham, compounds of plain
sewing and make believe.
1t is asserted by an eminent English
physician that by the timely administra-
tiop of the hypophosites of lime or
soda, consumption can be stamped out
as thoroughly as smallpox by vaccina
tion.
1t is claimed that a true. lady never
loses her temper. We never knew Of
one being really out of temper, though
since the present style of dress came
in we have seen them considerably
ruff1ed.
If ninety per cent. of the inmates of
our prisons are drinkers of ardent
spirits, as estimated by those in posi-
tions that give weight to their judg-
ment, the way in which taxation may be
reduced is apparant.
A greenhorn arriving in town, on a
first visit, heard boy calling "Oys.
ters," and asked: "What's that7"
"Oh, only OYSTERS" said his friend.
"Great stars |" exclaimed the verdant
one, "do oysters howl like that ?"
A man with large family was COM
planning of the difficulty of supporting
all of them. " But" said a friend,
"you have sons big enough to earn
something" "The difficulty is, said
the man, "they are too big to work."
A captain caught boy in the middle
watch frying some pork and eggs he had
stolen from the ships stores, to whom
the captain called out: You lubber,
you I'll have none of that % "Faith,
captain, I've none for ye," replied the
lad.
Somebody gave Texas detective a
| portrait of Shakespeare, and told him 1T
was picture of horse thief for whose
arrest there had been a reward offered.
| The detective has since scrutinized
strange faces closey, but has not arrest
ed anybody,
The man who is hardest to find is the
one who has an " Office" particularly il
he has "office hours" Whenever
man wishes to conceal himself from
the world, he rents an office, hangs out
sign stating his office hours, and then
stays away forever.
The direct United States cable COM
pany have repeated their statements,
and fortified them by report from Pro-
fessor Thomson, of Glasgow, to the effect
that the recent breakages of their cable
must have been the result of violence
willfully applied.
On what two days in lifetime can
man travel the furthest, and where does
he travel on those two days9 The day
before his marriage and the day after it.
The day before his marriage he is at the
Cape of Good Hope, and the day sitter it
he is in the United States.
Four months ago party of divers
started from San Francisco to recover
treasure from tho steamer Golden Gate,
which was wrecked in 1861 off the coast
of Mexico, and from which $775,O 600
were raised in 1868. Land had buried
the vessel so deep that they could not
reach any of the 100000 which are
supposed to be still there.
A beggar recently applied for aims at
the door of partisan of the Anti Men
dicity Society in Edinburgh. After
vainly detail ng his manifold SORROWS,
he was peremptorily dismissed by the
inexorable gentleman. Go away
said he; "we Gamma gle ,e naething." "
"You might, at least" returned the
mendicant, with an air of great dignity
and archness, shave refused me gram
matically."
Lawyers are sometimes very particular.
The other day one was waited upon by
young man, who began by saying
"My father died and made will Sis
it possible? never heard of such a
thing" answered the lawyer. 81
thought it happened every day." said
the young man; but if there is to be
any difficulty about it L had better give
you a fee to attend to the business. u
The fee was given and then the lawyer
observed "Oh / think / know what
you mean. You mean that your father
.. made a will and died-yes, yes; that
must be it,"
The elephant in a travelling circus IL
y San Francisco discovered a pocket il
! the back part of girls dress, as she
Q was leaning against the rope and looking
8 the other way. He reached in his trunl
e and brought out an apple, which he ate
Y Another trial yielded package of gun
9 drops, and third some peanuts. Again
! he essayed and got hold of a bottle o
t ammonia, the contents. of which wen
: the way of the apple, the candy and th
L peanuts. Instantly the resentful ele
y plant obliterated the girls hustle, fill
ing the air with bits of cloth, newspa
per and whalebone.
Some distressing cases of death hav
occurred among the people engaged j
. the white lead works in England. Th
. London Lancet suggests that the follow
. ing precautions should be made compu
sorry in all white lead manufactures
q "Clothes, gloves and caps should /
- provided to be worn only at the work
- waterproof boots to be provided fC
. those working with the moist viii
! lead; respirators to be provided fl
+ those working in the dry lead work
10 no one tn he allowed to leave the worl