The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-10-28
CREAMOF OUR EXCHANGES.

hoy in Sterling caught double headed
snake recently near that place. Both heads are
perfect, and join on the body so as to leave inc
necks about one inch long-StertinJ Gazette
They must have remarkably mean whisky AZ
Sterling!
The Lockport Ph@nir has new assistant cd
itor, whose salutatoryis a model OF breVlty Inc
new man on the tripod is named Harry hunEe'
and he says: "Yours truly, Harry Runge' ohiy
this and nothing more!
The Lockport Phanir gets up heavy article,
headed An Honest Voter" The Ph"n'r VIII
have to 90 outside of the IiaycsGrant party Tor
reader who can appreciate it. IL VIII DC I'M
popular among its subscribers That new man
must have written it. Youth and Innocence are
naturally honest.
The Indiana Republican State Central Com.
1nttee have issued an address full Of hope in the
ability of the republicans to carry Indiana in
Noyember.Jol'et Sun.
That same committee were equally confident
of success in October, Mr.. Sun, but the best
laid schemes of mice and men," &c,
Galley Head. on the coast of Cork, will soon
have erected the largest lantern ever made. II
will consume 1900 feet of gas per hour, and will
be visible during foggy weather. Its light will
equal that OF 10000 candles.-EL.
Some such contrivance is needed to throw
light upon Cuen's foggy political editorial eng
mas in the Ottawa RepuJlican
The Morris Reforn,er grumbles because cows
and horses run at large upon the streets. We
should Think the Reformer could stand 1t after
enduring the unrcstrained presence of bore
like Hayes, radical aspirant for congress!
Awriter In the Streator Monitor believes that
I" it was so ordained that woman should first dis
cover that Jesus had risen from the dead, in or
der that the news would be more rapidly
spread True but The plan had its drawbacks
nobody believed it till men vouched for its
truth!
The man who will step up to the bar and
drink his whisky without Stoughton bitters,
with a copy Of " The Christian al Work stick
ing out of bis pocket, has drfted out and be-
You'd all hope OF gaining democratic nomina-
tion for town constabc,-Johd Sun.
Yes, be has sunk too low for that, but is about
right for a republican editor, or near the grade
Of the average radical congressman
Keep your eye on the thieves and you will
know exactly what the republican leaders are
trying to do.-7Stdte Register.
1t can't be done, Mr.. Register; they are too
cunning for us.
Ben Butler brags that he was made by God,
not by newspapers. That relieves the newspa-
pers of foul chargc,-i lets them out, as it were
but it is rough on the other party,
Tally one for the Dixon Sun. 1t called Mr.
Shaw the editor of rival paper, Blonde
AS Shaw's hair is black, he couldn't see the
point and called the Sun fool. The Sun turns
l., a.. al III l., ~
to mean a lght-headed fellow" Shaw has to
prove that his head has brains IN it, give it up!
The Gibson Courier, Hayes organ, is a little
out Of tune. II needs reprimand or something
from Zach Chandler 1t thinks Jake Rchm the
whisky thief, whom Grant pardened out of Jail,
ought still TO be in limbo. II styles him The
colossal whisky thief Of Chicago" and adds that
his pardon has disguised the country. A 81
grecnback from Washington might modify the
CoaricrS views That sort of argument is ire
sstible with the average rcpubublcan editor.
The New York Tribune says:
The few republican mud machines which are
awork ought to be hauled oil rs soon as posi-
BILE They are doing Governor Tildcn good
deal more service than all Of his documents.
But what would nine tenths Of your Hayes Il
Wheeler newspapers and orators-big aud little
do If you won't let them throw mud? They've
got to throw mud and sme--they don't know
howtO work with any other available weapon.
Great variety is observable in the style o.
trimming ladies' undergarments.-OgIe County
Reporter.
How did you find that out Mr.. RpoWTg DID
some one tell you, or did you learn how it i;
yourself"
The Gilman star has been enlarged and i'm
proved From being star Of the 9Th, it has be
come one Of the 9TH magnitude. Long may you
twinkle, little star"
know Of no better recipe for keeping out o
the penitentiary than To vote the Republican
ucket.-Bob IngerSoiPS speech at SprinlRod
We know of 10 better recipe for getting GU
ot The penitentary than letting Grant know yol
are member OF the republican whisky ring
Rockford journal.
And no better way is there for letting Gran
know that you IA member Of the whisky rim
than to send him bull pup pre- paid, and in
form him that as soon as you can get out &
jail you will vote for Hayes.
There is said to be exquisite poetry conceale
in Indian names. Here probably are specimen,
Old chief, Can't Ride. Horseback Alone, use
10 kick up dust on the Northern Plains, an
now Chiefs Young man Afraid of. Ills Horse
and Sitting Bull have taken the war path. We
rily, there is poetic elOqucnce and intellcctui
significance in the names Of the children Of I'll
forest. 1t is now time old Knock Your. Brain
OutiOr-a-Nickle 10 encroaCh upon cmgrar
trains for winters supply.
Red is the all pervading color among fashion
able ladies this fall. Green are the men VIII
marry them and blank ore tbe intrriors nf a,
husbands purses who furnish the toggery, an
blue are those who can't.
Elgin has doctor named Morrow, but II
man IS sick today lac doesn't want to 20 to.mo
row after his medicine.-Eigia Ne,cs.
Morrow may make 1t al day with the No
come night.
new brand Of whisky called "The Stump
has made ITS appearance. great many ii