The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-04-27
"Small Potatoes


The following amusing account of the
way in which an Eastern tourist vas
"taken in" by n California humorist,
is from Bret Harte's Gabriel Conroy,"
in Scribner'S for May:
Mr.. Hamlin had not found the climate
I of San Antonio conducive to that strict
repose that his physician had recon-
mended, and left it the next day with
an accession of feverish energytha was
new to him. He had idled away three
days of excessive heat at Sacramento,
and on the fourth had flown to the
mountains, and found himself on the
morning of the first cool day at Wing
dam.
"Any body here l knowp" he de-
manded of his faithful henchman, as
Pete brought in his clothes, freshly
brushed for the morning toilette.
"No, sah!"
"Nor want to, eh?" continued the
cynical Jack, leisurely getting out of
bed.
Pete reflected. "Dere is two o. desc
var Yeastern tourists-dem folks as is
goin' round inspectin' de country
down in de parlor. jess come over
from dc Big Trees. 1 reckon dey's
some o. de same party-dem Frisco
chaps-Mas Dumphy and de odders has
bin onloadin' to. Dey's mighty green,
and de boys along de road has been fill
in 'em up. It's jess so much water On
de dried apples dat Pete Dumphy's
been shown into EN-" Jack smiled
grlmly.
"I reckon you needn't bring up my
breakfast, Pete; I'll go down."
The party thus obscurely referred to
by Pete were Mr.. and Mrs. Raynor,
who had been doing" the Big Trees,
under the intelligent guidance Of a San
Francisco editor who had been dcpu-
tized by Mr.. Dumphy to represent Cali
fornian hospitality. They were ex-
ceedingly surprised, during breakfast,
by the entrance of Il pale, handsome,
languid gentleman, accurately dressed,
whose infinite ~neatness shamed their
own b~edraggled appearance, and who,
accompanied by his servant, adj
vanced, and quietly took II
seat opposite the tourists and their
guide. Mrs. Raynor at once became
conscious of some negligence in her
toilet, and after n moments embarrass-
ment excused herself and withdrew.
Mr.. Raynor, impressed with the APP
pearance of the stranger, telegraphed
his curiosity by Glowing the editor,
who, however, for some reason best
known to himself, failed to respond.
Possibly he recognized the presence of
the notorious Mr.. Jack Hamlin in the
dark-eyed stranger, and may have had
ample reasons for refraining from voic-
ing the popular reputation of that gen.
tleman before his face, or possibly he
may have been i%nattentivc. Howbeit,
after Mr.. Hamlin's entrance he prefer
mitted the hymn of California praise,
and became reticent and absorbed in
his morning paper. Mr.. Hamlin waited
for the lady to retire, and then, calmly
ignoring the presence of any other in
dividual languidly drew from his pocket
a revolver and bowie-knife, and placing
them in an easy, habitual manner on
either side of his plate, glanced care
lessly over the table, and then called
Pete to his side.
"Tell them," said Jack, quietly,
''that | want some large potatoes; ask
them what they mean by putting those
little things on the table. Tell them to
be quick. Is your rifle loadedP"
"Yes, sah," said Pete promptly, with
out relaxing Il muscle of his serious
ebony face.
"Well-take it along with you"
But here the curiosity of Mr.. Raynor,
who'had been just commenting on the
really enormous size of the potatoes,
got the best of his prudence. Failing
to make his companion respond to his
repeated ~elbowings, he leaned over the
table toward the languid stranger.
excuse me, sir" he said politely,
shut did l understand you to say that
you thought these potatoes Smail-that
there are really larger ones to hs hadP"
ats the first time" returned Jack,
gravely, "that l ever was insulted by
having a whole potato brought to me-.
l didn't know it was possible before.
Perhaps in this part of the country the
vegetables are poor. I'm a stranger to
this section. I take it you are too.
But because l am a stranger ! don't see
why l should be imposed spon."
"Ah, i see," said the mystiiied Ray
nor; shut if | might ask another ques-
tion-youm excuse me if I'm imperti-
nent-I noticed that you just now adj
vised your servant to take his gun into
the kitchen with him-surely"-
"Pete," interrupted Mr.. Hamlin,
languidly, sis a good niger. should
not like to lose him. Perhaps you're
right-may be l am a little over-cau-
tious. But when a man has lost two
servants by gunshot wounds inside Of
three months, it makes him careful"
The perfect of the speak
or, the reticence of his companion, and
the dead silence Of the room in which
this extraordinary speech was uttered,
filed the measure of MI. Raynor's as
constituent.
MANUFACTURERS of muslins, linens,
cambrics, ETC., now paste on their goods
when ready for dealers very pretty
acknowledgement pictures as a fancy