The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-01-20
From the Detroit Free Prc-s.l
The Thermometer Man.

He was a way-worn man from the East
and he had thirty seven Thermometers
in a basket on his arm. After standing
on the street corners for two or three
hours without making a sale, be started
for the eastern part OF the city hoping
to do better among the private houses.
lie seemed TO gain confidence from the
cheerful look on the dwellings. and he
bore himself like a banker as he ascend.
ed the steps and pulled the door-bell
Nothing for the poor" said the lady
as she opened the door.
Il am not soliciting for the poor.
am selling Thermometers. he replied, in
q balmy voice.
Don't want any-bought our stock In
the fall. she said, drawing in her head.
Il said Thermometers, madam" he
called in n despairing voice
Il know IL; but we've got all the veg
etables we can Use. she called back, aud
the door struck his toes.
Going into the saloon on the corner
the man addressed the proprietor with
sweet smile. saying
Would you like a thermometer this
morning9'
ny de pushely' inquired the saloon.
ist
"No-a thermometer-a small instru.
ment for telling you when IL iswarm and
cold
ANY l.asie-box in iY' inquired the
saloonist
Z. "No; IL records the weather"
What wedder1'
"why, the weather we have every day
in the year When it is warm. this lit.
tie rule runs up; when Il Is cold, u sinks
down"
"Umphl Then Il ish warm. ! dake,
my goat of when Il ish gold. ! but more
goal in der s,oaE Go und sell dat 10
some schmall poy as knows noddingsl'
The thermometer man entered car
pet weavers. and a bow.baoked man
nodded kindly and cordially welcomed
him
ty.iye cents, said the pcddler. a. he
held one up.
New thing" asked the weaver. as he
took one in his hand
We have had Thermometers for many
years. People have become 10 consider
them a household necessity
"Zero7 Zerog Who was ZeroY' asked
the weaver. reading the word behind the
glass.
The thermometer man explained. and
th~w aygr, after trying 10 get bis tARnb
nailnndef the glass, asked.
"whe rrfdocs the blamed thing oponT
Thermometers are not made 10 open,
my friend" was the reply.
well, / don't want no Thermometer
around me that won't open' Erowled
the weaver II thought ID was a new
kind Of stove-handle when you came In.
or shouldn't have looked al H."
The thermometer man next tired a
dwelling house. In answer 10 his ring.
the door was instantly and swiftly open.
ed by n rcd-iacod woman, who hit him
with a club and cried out
"Ill learn you. you young yillainf
She apologized and explained that
several bad boys had been ringing the
door.bell, and he forgaye her and said
Il have some accurate and handsome
Thermometers here. Would you"
we never have hash for breakfast
she interrupted. My husband detests
hash and so / don't want TO buy"
Hash A Thermometer has nothing
to do with hash" he exclaimed.
well, | can't help that she replied,
slowly closing the door I'VE haven't
any lamps TO mend. and you shouldn't
track mud on the steps that way
There was n portly man crossing tho
street, and the thermometer man beck
oned to him and halted him. and when
he got near enough. asked
Can ! sell you an accurate thermom-
eter to-day1'
A whatG
A Thermometer
What do I want with n thcrmome-
teri exclaimed the portly man. raising
his voice peg.
why, 70 note the weather"
You blamed IDIOT Do you suppose
7 / run the weather ? roared the fat man.
Y growing purple in the face.
But you want TO know when Us hot
/ or cold. don't you
/ Am such an old fool that don't
know when it's summer and when ~
winter n shricked the fat man.
We all know. Of course, replied the
stranger, but every respectable family
has a thcrmo meter now .a-dAys
They have, eh7 never had one
nor I wouldn't have one, and do you
dare tell me that ain't respectable ?
screamed old porily.
Il didn't mean
Yes you did. and you've made m'
miss the train and Ill cane you.
The thermometer man waded acros
the muddy street and made bis escape
and at dusk last night. was backed NJ
against the Soldiers Monument, hl
basket between his feet, and was squint
ing sadly at the clock on the City Hal
Tower.
A young woman from the rural du
trict entered dry goods store the othc
, day. and asked for pair Of stocking
/ The clerk politely ased her what numbs