Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-02-12
SCRAPS.

thlrty-two years old. .9I -.l
1t is said to be the sign of a sub
missive husband if his back is 80 sensi-
tive that he can tell when fly lights
on it. ~ e ''..' -,...'s ~
"A Pittsburg woman was cured of
speechlessness by priest Her hus-
band is now prowling around after the
priest with a shotgun. 1
A bolt of lightning struck a tree in
front of Chicago Alderman's house
the other night, and in his fright the
Alderman remarked: "Hold on, there.
III restore the money" .
One hundred years ago wounded
patriots were not driven from the pub
lie soup-houses to make room for men
who took arms against the nations
| life. .>. g., .,--... ..4 o..
One hundred years ago men were
not running about over the country
with millions of fish eggs to be hatched
to order. Fish superintended their
own Matching in those days.
at was Benz Franklin who intro
duced broom corn culture into this
country" But thousands of suffering
husbands would prefer to see the man
who introduced broom handles.
Horace Greeley's advice to "go
west" was glaring swindle. The fact
that the Indians have been living West
all their lives and are still poor, with
scarcely enough clothes to hide their
nudity, proves this. t.
Mr.. Colfax tells good story of Presi-
dent Lincoln. When he was attacked
with the small pox he said to his at
tendants, Send up all the officeseekers,
and tell them I've got something can
give each to them.
The world is governed by three
things, Wisdom, Authority and Appear
ance. Wisdom is for thoughtful peo-
pie, Authority for rough people, and
Appearance for the great mass of super
iicial people who can look at the out
side. CD
A fool in high station is like man
on top Of a mountain-everything is
small to him, and he's small to others.
A Mount Bethel township farmer cut
open an old hornets nest, just to exam
ire the inside arrangement. He says
he thinks he will be able to see the barn
in about two weeks.
A Passaic father wants to know
"what will keep respectable, hut poor
young man, from hanging around the
front OF the house 2 Tell him the girl
is sitting on the back fence.
P. II. Barnum has, resolved to be a
travelling Snowman no, longer, but when
it was announced that New Haven had
"a wo-legged horse, his wife had to hide
his hat. .- ..
A widow has just died in Rome and
left quarter of million dollars in cash
to the Pope.
p. r. Barnum, the Snowman, is at
present busily engaged in perfecting ar
p rangements for centennial show dur
ing the coming summer, which is to
eclipse all his former efforts. He will
have employed 100 men and women
and $50 horses and ponies, and it will
require l20 railroad cars for transporta
tion purposes.
The iron steamer Carondelet, from
New Orleans, when about eighteen
miles below st. Louis, last Monday,
sunk nine feet of water She had about
700 tons of sugar aboard worth $lO0-
600. ."
A woman at New Haven recently
bought at an auction sale, for few
cents, a Fl, 500 Iudia shawl which had
accidentally got among some articles
sent to the auction room.
Ifyour business is not running along
as smoothly and satisfactorily as yor
desire, trya little advertising grease.
1t makes big difference
General Joe Hooker is sojourning at
the Arkansas Hot Springs.
George T. Rowell, OF New York
city, has been authorized to construct a
building upon the. centennial grounds
for the exhibition of files of American
newspapers. f..
On last Saturday morning three
mnrderers escaped from the county Jail
at Knoxville, Tenn, one of whom was
subsequently recaptured.
People usually think it not a very
high degree of crime to steal newspa-
per from door, but they think other
wise in Brooklyn. A man was lately
sentenced to the penitentiary for two
months for stealing two newspapers,
valued at four cents from doorstep.
"Dr. Wades Liver Corrector" is .
sure and certain cure for that most pro-
lifc source of disease, Indigestion.
An Iowa editor says it is folly to talk
about making both ends meet this win
ter If you can make one end meat and
the other bread you will be doing well.
The present is to be a wonderful year.
We are to have the centennial, 366 days
in the year, 55 Sundays, the Presiden-
tial election, and the girls making love
to the young men, and won't it be
graud' .,t.
Gen. Longstreet is now engaged in
the vain attempt to regain his lost repu-
tation by publishing letters in the New
Orleans Republican, written after. the
Gettysburg battle, in which he says if
his plans had been adopted the result of
that battle would have been different