Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-08-30
Mr.. Kendig's AMiction.

| III the naDlllmentS or woe. lie en-
tered the Office of Col. Bangs, edito
of the Ayyus, and took a chair. Re
moving his hat he wiped the moist
ure from his eyes, rubbed his nos
thoughtfully for a moment, put hi
handkerchief in his hat, his hat upol
the floor, and said to the colonel:
"You didn't know Mrs. Kendig !?
II hadn't that pleasure" said tn,
colonel. "Who was she."
"Shc's my wife. She's been sicl
some time. But day-before yester
day she was took worse, and she KEEP
on sinking until evening, when sh,
give a sudden jump a couple of time
and then her spirit flickered. Dead
you Know. Passed away into another
world"
"Im sorry, said the Colonel
$50 am /. | called around to see i
| could get some of you literary peo
pie to saw out some kind Of a poem
describing her peculiarities, so that
can advertise herin the paper"
II dunno, may be we might"
"Oh, you didn't know her, you say
Well. she was sing'lar sort o. wo'
man. Had strong characteristics. Hcl
nose was the crookedest in the state
all bent sideways. Old Captain Bin.
der used to say that it looked like the
jib-sail of an oyster sloop on the
windward tack. Only his fun, you
know. But Helen never minded it.
She said herself thatitaimcd so much
around the corner that whenever she
sneezed she blew down her back hair.
There were rich depths of hnmor
nthat woman. Now l don't care ii
you work into the poem some pictur-
esque allusion to the condition of her
nose, so her friends will recognize.
And you might also spend a verse or
two on her lame eye"
"What was the matter with her
eyer"
sGone, sir, gone. Knocked out with
chip while she was splitin' kin'ling
wood, when she was child; she
fixed 1t up somehow with a glass one,
and it gave her the oldest expression
you ever saw. The false one would
stand perfectly still while the other
one was rolling around, so that bout
half the time you couldn't tell wheth.
er she was studyin' astronomy or
watchin' the hired girl pare potatoes.
And she'd lay there at night with that
indisposed eye wide open, glaring at
me, while the other was tight shut, so
that sometimes I'd get the horrors
and kick her and shake her to make
her get up and fix it. Now | reckon
yon could stuff in some language
about her eccentricities of vision.
couldn't you? Don't care what il is,
SO that I have the main facts
"Was she peculiar in any other re-
spects 2"
''Wcll, yes. One leg was gone run
over when she was little. But she
wore patent leg that did her pretty
well. Bothered her sometimes, but
most generally gave her good deal
of comfort she was fond Of machin-
cry. And then you know she could
take it off at night and stand it on the
hat-rack in the entry and 60 to bed
with only one cold foot. She was
very grateful for her privileges. Al
though sometimes ii worried her too.
The springs worked wrong now and
then /; and may be in church her lea'd
give squirt and begin to kick and
hammer away at the board In front of
the pew, until it sounded like boil
er factory. Then Id carry her out,
and most likely it'd kick at me all tho
way down the aisle. and end up by
dancing all around the vestibule, un-
til the sexton would rebuke her for
dancing in church. Seems to me that
there's material tor poetry in that,
isn't therc?"
''She was self-willed woman. Oft
en- when she'd want to go to a sewing
bee, or to CAD about somewhere, may
be I'd stuff that leg up the chimney or
hide it in the wood pile; and then
when I wouldn't tell her where it
was, do yon know what she'd do?"
WHAT"
"Why, she'd lash an nmbrellr to her
stump, and drift of down street as ii
that umbrella was born there! You
couldn't get ahead of her! She was
ingenious I've known her, when the
baby was playing with the potato
masher, to unbuckle that leg aud use
it for a masher. Take it by the knee
and work the joint backward and
forward splendidly. So I thought I'd
mention few facts to you, and you
can throw 'em together and make 'em
rhyme, and I'll call round and pay
you for them"
What day? Tuesday"
"Very well, I'll run in on Tuesday
and see how you've fixed her up"
Then Mr.. Kendig smoothed up his
hat with his handkerchief, wiped the
accumulated sorrow from his eyes,
placed his hat upon his head, and
sailed serenely out and down the
stairs towards his desolate hearth
stonc.'