davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

HOW HE AsCENDED THE BUNKER HILL
MONUMENT.

From the Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The janitor who had charge of Bunker
Hill monument, arriving at about half past
seven Friday morning to open the premises,
found two strangers in waiting. One tall
gray bearded man in slouch hat, asked il
they could ascend the monument
"Yes said the custodian" "you can for
twenty-five cents" (holding out his hand.)
TIE stranger produced the money, and the
custodian unlocked the door, and forthwith
paying no especial attention to his visitor
who was looking around him curiously, un-
til half choked with dust, he inquired ''if
these were the steps p
"Yes all right, go right up till you get to
the top"
The visitor and his companion did as they
were bid, and stayed some half an hour en-
Toying the beautiful panoramic view from
the summit, after which they descended aud
were quietly walking away, when they we're
hailed by the custodian with:
"H'yar, just write your names in this
book all the visitors who go up the monu-
meut sign their names here"
The gray-bearded man laughed and signed
his name, and the two departed
The custodian never looked at the book,
but some hours afterward was electrified by
one of the officers of the monument associa-
tion, who CHANGED to come in asking him,
in the most agitatcd mannr, when Dom
Pedro, the emperor of Brazil, had been
there ?"
Hasn't been here at ALL" was the re-
ply.
Hasn't been here ! Why here is his
signature on your visitors book. What does
this mean p
"What v' said the custodian, rushing up
to the volume. "Why, good gracious that
was written by tall man with slouch
hat"
And so it was ; but the tall man was the
Emperor of Brazil, and this was the way he
ascended Bunker Hill monument, just like
"any other man."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

The st. Louis Republican records this as
its estimate of the difference in the candi-
dates ''If Hayes is man of no faults, Til
den is man of great merits. If Hayes
would do no harm, Tilden would do great
deal of good. If Hayes is personally hon
est man, Tilden is more-he is the enemy of
dishonest men. Hayes is good Republ-
can, who can be implicitly relied on to do
whatever the party leaders require,and leave
undone whatever they diSapprove. Tilden
is wilful Democrat, who will do right
whether the party approves it or not. These
are the two men that the country must
choose between"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
How Niagara Almost Ran Dry.

On March 29th, 1913, remarkable phe-
nom0non occurred. The preceding winter
had been intensely cold, and the ice formed
on Lake Erie was unusually thick. In the
warm days of early spring, thiss mass of ice
was lOosened around the shores of the lake
and detached from them. During the fore
noon of the day PANIED, a stiff easterly wind
moved it up the lake. 4 little before sunset
the wind chopped suddenly round and blew
IA gale from the west. This brought the vast
field of ice back again with such tremendous
force that it filled in the neck of the lake
and its outlet SO rs 10 form a very effective
dam, that caused a remarkable diminution
in the outflow of the water. OF course it
needed but little time for the Falls to drain
of the water below this dam. The conse-
buence was that on the morning of the fol-
lowing day the river was nearly half gone.
The American channel had dwindled TO a
deep and narrow creek. The British chan
mel seemed to have been smitten with a
quick consumption, and to be fast passing
away. Far up from the head of Goat Island
and out into the Canadian rapids, and from
the foot of Goat Island out beyond the old
Tower the water was gone. The rocks were
bare, black and forbidding. The roar of
Niagara had subsidized to moan. This ex-
traOrdinary syncope of the waters lasted all
the day, and night closed over the strange
scene. But during the night the dam gave
way, and the next morning the river was
restored in all its strength, beauty, and maj
esty.-From an Illustrated Pdper on Mage.
ra," in the midsummer Holiday Mumber" o.
iSciibner.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
Very Remarkable.

at il indeed remarkable" said the noble
jenkins, sitting in his paror conversing
with few visitors, "nost remarkable that
in all ages, the record of which are bright
with the glorious music of masters whose
names are written on every page of tie
worlds history in letters of gold, n, woman
has ever written an opera or composed an
Grafton that could link her name to undy-
ing fame. In the very walks Of art, where
one would suppose woman should reign on
an undivided throne, she is little more than
a menial, an humble att, ulant, waiting up
on and subject to the whms of her MASTER"
Just then wonans voice, from the back
yard, split the Jnne air like the sweep of a
sabre-"John jenkins you just come out
here and keep this ere baby out of the soap.
suds while hang out the clothes, or I'll cut
you down like hay p
And then the committee rose, and the
noble jenkins, being excused by unanimous
consent, the House soon after adjourned
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

He lounged up to the Office counter, pick
ed up toothpick, and as he pried away at
his molars he said to the clerk:
Must be hard-mustn't it.-for man
to be buried in trance state?"
"Yes's" was the brief reply.
That's all Pm afraid Of" continued the
confidential dead-beat. ''I'm afraid I'll be
buried before I'm really dead"
Il guess not" answered the clerk "the
law regulates that.
THE law? How!'
1t prescribes how long the body shall
hang before being cut down"
The man softly laid the toothpick down
on the counter, and went over to look at the
files of daily papers.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28


HEAVY CARRIAGE HIRE.-The new
Secretary of War, in reply to letter from
Mr.. Clymer, the chairman of the War Ex-
penditure Committee, says that it cost the
government $4,000 for the hire Of carriage
for the Secretary of War from the beginning
of this administration to Belknaps resg-
nation on March ID last During the seven
years Belknap was Secretary tho carriage
was probaly never used dozen times for
his convenience or in despatching public
business. 1t served the same purpose as
Attorney General Williams landaulet did
/ enabled the Belknap family to ride out in
style every day and attend the numerous re-
ceptions and parties given during the season
But why the government should be taxed
$4,000 for this luxury, the War Expendi-
ture Committee is going to find out
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

A Coon REAs'N,-"Why don't you trade
with me ~ asked merchant of farmer
the other day "Well, | don't like to 90
where Pm not invited, and I've never seen
any invitation from you in our newspaper
for people to call at your store "Oh-ah
well-you see-I cant afford to spend mon
ey in sustaining newspapers, you know. /
try to keep down expenses 50 as to sell farm
ers goods cheap, you see" "Zactly, l see
that you want the farmers to do all the work
of sustaining the newspapers, and than pat.
ronize you just as if you did your share.
have always found that can get goods cheap
enough at the stores that advertise" And
the farmer went right along up the street to
one of our advertisers and bought what he
wanted.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

After lavishing upon greedy monopolies
the richest portion of the national domain
the Republicans in their Cincinnati conven-
ton again solemnly resolve that they are
Opposed to any further grants of public
lands to corporations and monopolies." Now
when the lands have all gone into posses,
sion of the monopolists through the legisla-
ton of this party, could there be greater
mockery of the people than this resolution ?
That nothing may be wanting to the arrant
hypocrisy of the thing they put upon this
platform Hayes and Wheeler, who, when in
Congress. never lost an opportunity to vote
for a measure that robbed the people of their
lands.-Idtri0t.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

In 1871 Samuel j. Tilden began his bril-
liant and successful campaign against the
Tweed ring which has ended in stripping
them Of their spoils and sending them to
prison or exile. In his speech at Cooper
Institute in November of that year he made
the following pledge to the people of New
York; by the blessing of God according to
the strength that is given to me, if you will
not grow weary and faint, and falter on the
way, will stand by your side until not only
civil government shall be reformed in the
city of New York but until the State of New
York shall once more have pure and ire
proachable judiciary, and until the example
of this great State shall be set up to be fol-
lowed by all the other States" The people
Of New York did stand by Samuel j. Tilden
and he nobly redeemed the pledges of his
speech in the overthrow Of the gigantic rings
that ruled the City and State. Now this
able and intrepid champion of the people
against the plunderers is invited to the per-
iUrnIance Of Il far larger and more difficult
task, the pnrgation OF the National Govern
ment from the corruption that pollu.es it.
lie is under the same pledges to the people
OF the country which he gave to the people
Of New York, and sustained by the ballots
of his fellow-citizeus he will redeem them.
-IdtriOt
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
THE WELLS TEA co.
POI Fulton Street, n. y.

--:O:---
The difficulty Of getting pure Teas Of really fine
quality IN the United states has Induced IuE WELLS
iEA CO.. 10 ship their leas Ia sealed packages direct
frUm the gardens IN which they grown, ana as Il
further guarantee Of their being delivered ia their
genuine state, they entrllst The sale Of tht only
reliable AgentS-the name OF the nearest Agent to
you Is printed at the foot Of this advertisement
that the teas pass through none but responsible
hands, ana VIII be Dc Ntred at your own door as
fresh uS when they left the gardens OF China and
Japan the price asols printed ON each package, so
thni no error can occur.
Everybody buys Tea,
Eyery body wishes buy It at first hands-the best
qualities at iht lowest prices.
ENerS body deSireS-whru they ma Il Tea suitable
to thtli tastes-to DC certain OF getting the same
article alwaNs S.
You can have all these advantages by buying of
TIL + WELLS TEA COM PAN Y.
Because they Import their own teas, and sell them
at wholesale prlCtS-WiihUut the six or eight Inter
mediate profits usually charged.
Because the quality Is better at the price than Is
sold by any other house.
Because their long experience In China and Japan
enables them TO make better selections than Ordl
vantages
Because they absolutely guarantee the quality OF
all their gOOds-and Keep them 10 one invaIiablo
standard, so that you can always rely on them,
BeCause they do business for cash only-and there
fore make no extra prOtt from good customers 70
cover losses by bad debts.
Because their agents responsible and reliable
men-who deliver Ieas precis' y as received rom
the Company.
Because having once tried these Teas you VIII not
need To go elsewhere hereafter.
chant In every town ana city IN the United states,
10 whom viii be given the SOLE AGENCY Tor that
locality,
Address, for terms and fun particulars.
p. q. BOX s560. 2Ol Fulton Street, N. Y.
July 81, TG.-2m
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

One of the Supreme Court Judges in
South Carolina suggests the following plan
to prevent drunkenness Allow every per-
son to sell us much liquor as he wishes
without tax or license; but require those
who drink to apply for license, and 10
give notice of such application by publish
ing it for one month in the official newspa-
per of the city or county, and then, if there
be no objection, to enter into bond for
good behavior, before the autaslty to drink
is granted.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

than any measure which could be devised.
1t has taken the control of our Indian affairs
out of the hands of the thieves who had
charge Of them so long and placed them
where they belong. in the War Department.
1t has reorganized the army and closed a
thousand avenues of fraud and corruption in
every department.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
POetical.
-; -

Drifting away from each other,
Silently drifting apart,
Nothing between but the worlds cold screen.
Nothing to lose but heart.
only two lives dividing
More and more every day
Only one soul from another soul
Stemp" rlrtlng away.
Only mans heart striving
Bitterly hard with IT'S doom;
only hand tender and bland,
Slipping away In the gloom.
Nothing of doubt or wrong
Nothing that either can cure
Nothing TO shame, nothing to blame,
Nothing 10 do but endure.
The world cannot stand stu.
Tidos ebb, and women cnange;
Nothing here that Is worth a tear,
one love less-nothing strange.
Drifting away from each other,
Steadily drifting apart
No wrong TO each that the world can reach
Nothing lost but a heart
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
AMERICAN AND FOREIGN PATENTS.

GILMORE & CO., successors to Chpman, Hosmer &
CO., solicitors, Patents procured In AL countries.
No rEEs IN ADVANCE. No charge unless the patent
Is granted. No fees for making preliminary eNhm-
nations No additional fees rur ubtuiulLg and con-
duCtlng a rchenrlng. BY a recent decision or the
Commissioner ALI. rejected applications may be re-
vived. Special attention given To Interference eases
bet fore the Patent Oncr extensions before Congress
Infringement suits IN different States ana an ltlg-
tiun upurrtHining to inventions or patents. send
stamp 10 GilInUre co. for pamphlet Of sixty pages
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

SMART WoRK.-A man down in North
ampton it is said, made so many pairs of
shoes in one day that it took two DAYS to
count them He was smart one, but not
equal to one up in county Tipperary, who
built SO many miles OF stone fence in one
day that it took him all night and the next
day TO get home.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

Gen. John M. Palmer, former Republican
Goyernorsf Illinois, expresses his entire sat
isfacton with the nomination of Tilden and
Hendricks, thinks ii STRONG one before the
people, and pledges it his hearty support.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

Whats the matter, Uncle Jerry :" said
Mr.---, as old jeremiah Ii. was pas,
sing by growing most furousy. Matter
said the old man, stopping short; "why,
here | have been Juggling water all the
morning for DR.. Q. s wife to wash with and
what dye s'pose got for it2" "Why,
suppose about ten cents" answered Mr.. -,
"ren cents She told me the doctor would
pull tooth for me some time"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
PENSIONS,

All officers soldiers and sailors wounded, ,runturcd
or Injured In the late war, however slightly, can Oh
tain pension by addressing Gilmore a co
cases prosecuted by Gilmore Co. before the su-
Dreme court OF the United states the court OF claims,
and the southern clanls commission
Each department Il our business Is conducted In a
separate bureau, under charge Of the same expert
euccd ID trtrs employed by tile old irm. Prompt at
tentlOn 10 all business entrusted To GILMORE co.
Is thus secured. We desire 10 win success by de-
serving IL. Address, e,,, .
G29 street, Washington, ID. q,
Jan 81, 76-tf
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

Master (snifling;) y "There's most ex-
traordinary smell, james: "Ive noticed it
several" Hall Porter; 81 don't
wonder at it, sir, Pve spoken about it down
stairs. The buffers you see, is Ugh church,
which he 'as fit up horatory in the pantry,
and burns hiucense, We could stand that +;
but the cook is the low church persuasion,
and she burns brown paper to hobviate the
hincense. It's perfectly lawful on saints
DAYS, sir.-hnch.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

Hon. Lyman Trumbull, the able and dis
tinguished statesman of Illinois, who so long
led the Republican majority of the Senate
of the United States, declares for Tilden and
Hendricks, and offers TO take the stump in
their support.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

When young gentl, man can enjoy an
hours quiet talk with woman neither
young, beautiiul,nor fascinating in any way,
there's sure to be something good and genu-
inc in him.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

GENERAL HOOKER on TILDENs NoMI-
NATIoN.-Governor Tilden has received the
following letter of congratulation from Gen.
Joseph Hooker.
Il cannot refrain from Offering you my
sincere congratulations on your nomination
to the exalted Office Of President OF the
United States. As Il quiet observer OF tie
political events OF the nation | know Of no
one in my day who has Afforded me SO much
satis faction, and sincerely hope and believe
that the wisdom shown in the selection at
st Louis will be fully ratified by the great
mass Of the people i'll November next. We
require reforms i'll politics, religion and mo-
rails, and | am convinced that we will fare
generously at your hands. The whole govern
ment of the nation is corrupt-desperat
corrupt-and the honor and glory OF apply
ing the antdote | am convinced will belong
to you. If the fact Of your nomination does
not enhance the material value of the ma
tion, l am sure your election will do it. Al
ready seem to breathe new atmosphere,
as is the case of every well-wisher Of his
country"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

Yearly al sertiselnents paya qunltrly. IIan.
silent advertisements must Oe paid Tor Defufe lnserNu
except where parties have accOunts. ...,-
Legal advertisements two dollars per men tor.nree
Insertions and at that rate for additional inseftOnb
without reference 10 length. ..-.- 49,.
Executors, Administrators and Audltors nouces
three dollars. -.
Transient or Local notices, twenty cents a line,
regular Advertisements half rates.
Cards In the cuisines Directory" cOlunn Ohc
dollar per year for each line
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
LAND CASES, LAND WARRANTS AND
SCRIP.

Contested land cases prosecuted before the u. s.
General Land once and Department Of the Interior
Private hand claims, mining and plc-emp,ion claims
and homestead CASES attended 10. Land scrip Ia 4D
so and 100 acre pieces for sale This scrip Is assgna
ble ana can he located In the name Of the purchaser
upon any Government lHnd subject 10 private entry
land Warrants. send stamp to Gilmore q Co. for
pamphlet OF instructions.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
ARREARS OF PAY AND BOUNTY.

Onlcers soldiers and sailors Of the late war, or
their heirs are iH many cases entitled 10 money from
the government OF which they have no knowledge,
Write fun history Of service, ana state amount Of
pay and bounty received Enclose sta up Ia GILMORE
Co., and "A run reply after examination, VIII be
Given YOU free,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

An Irishmau having been told that the
prices Of bread had been lowered, exclaimed,
"Thst is the first time ever rejoiced at the
fall of my best friend !"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

perfect ana uncqualcd, large, strong and dura-
bic maChlnv constructed elegant und sud, from he
best material with mathematical precision Tor con-
slant family use or munlfuct. ring purposes. Al
WAYS ready at Il moments notice tu dn It's days
work, never out Of Urdcr and viii last generation
with moderate care easy 10 understand and man
age; Hight, Sm0Oth and swift running Ike he we'll
regulated movement OF a line watch; simple com
pact, efficient and reliable, VIVA all the Improvements
10 BE- found In the highest priced machines, warrant
ed tu do the same work the Same way, ana us rapid
and smooth as Il S,5 machine. An acknowledged tri-
umph OF Ingenious mechanical SIKH, essentially the
working wOmNnS friend, and far Ia advance uf all
Ordinary MACHINES for absolute strength, Reliability
and general usefulness; VIII hem, fell tuck, seam,
.ut, bind, braid, cord, gather, ruIe, shlfr, pait
fold, scallop roll, embrOider, run up breadths, &C.
with wonderful rapdity, neaneSs and ease, ,sews the
strongest lasting stitch equally nue ana smooth
through all kinds OF goods from cambria TO several
IhlckncsSrS OF brOudClOh or leather, with nne or
coarse cotton llnen, SILK or twine. Gives perfect
satisfaction. Wil earn is cost several times over In
"A season IN the work II does or make Il good living
purpose; works so faithful ana easy the servants
or children can use IL without damage. Price Of
chine with II ht table, fully equipped for family work
SEQ Half case cover side drawers and cabinet styles
each at G0rrespundingly low rates. safe delivery
glIarantt ed, nee Trum damage. Explanatory PAM
phlets illustrated with cngrayings u the several
sly les OF machines references, variety OF sewlng,&c,
mailed Iree. Confidential terms with liberal Induce
nents 10 enterprSing clergy men, teachers, business
men, travelling or local agents. &c., who desire eA-
elusive agencies, furnished on application, Address
John II. Rondal q Co., go broadway, New York
May g. I6--l2m.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
The Wall Street Indicator.

THIS WEEKS ISSUE SENT FREE.
Contains Pictorial Illustrations Of Bulls and Bears
Also n'll and complete Instructions how 10 operate
IN stCcks and Stock Privileges Capital hits and
suggestions Also, u hit OF Valuable Premiums 10
Cluls "send Tor IT,"
BuCKWALTER a CO., Bankers and Brokers,
=. %, Box aslT. 10 Wall ST., Now York city.
Mar. al. TA.-X
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
Gates Of Sdrertisins.

one inch. twelve lines or It's equivalent In Nonps
rell type one or two Insertions ti.6o three insei
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
THE COLUMBIAN.
otusBtA DEMOCRAT STAR or THE NORTH AND COfuM
B1AN OOSsOLlDATED)


issued weekly every Friday morning, at
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
Two DOLLARS per year, payable In advance, or
ourinp the year. After tho expiration Of the ear
~ bS will he charged TO subscribers out OF the
county the terms are 50 per year ,trcty III advance
- al II II not ptl Ia advance AMI $50 II payment be
DELAYED be ond the year.
M paper d Discontinued, except at the option Of the
nunlllshers, until all Hrrearages arc paid but long
continued credits after the expiration OF the frst
year will not be given
Allpapers sent ont OF the state or TO distant post
sble person In Columbia county assumes TO pay the
subscription due ON demand.
the county.
JOB PRINTING!
The Jobblrg department OF the COLUMBIAN Is very
con,nlcte and our Printing will compare favora-
iv With that Of the large cities. All work done on
demand, neatly and at moderate prices.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28
Chapter. V.
OF THE RULES.

lr These rules or any one or more OF them may
be Sliered, amended or resCinded at any repulaT
convention by a vote OF twO-thlrds OF he Hhnle
number OF delegates 10 the Convention
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-07-28

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