Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1876-12-07

Because you like the man yourself;
But most, because-.-don't get 50 wild!
have not laid him on the SHELF
Hes not . bygone. In year,
I'll tell you all about him, dear.
THE CANVASSER'S STORY.
Mark Twain in the December Atlantic.
Poor, sad.eyed stranger! There was
that about his humble mien, his tired
look, his decayed gentility clothes,
that almost reached the mustard.seed
Of charity that still remained, remote
and lonely, in the empty vastness of
my heart, Notwithstanding observed
a portfolio under his arm, and said to
myself, behold, Providence hath deliv-
cred his servant into the hands Of an.
other canvasser.
Well, these people always get one in.
terested. Before l we'll knew how it
came about, this one was telling me
his history, and l was all attention
and sympathy. He told it something
like this:
My parents died, alas, when was a
little, sinless child. My uncle 1thuriel
took me to his heart and reared me as
his own. He was my only relative in
the world; but he was good and rich
and generous. He reared me in the
lap of luxury. l knew no want that
money could satisfy.
In the fullness of time l was gradu.
ated, and went with two Of my serv-
ants-my chamberlain and my valet
to travel in fereign countries. During
four years fitted upon careless wing
amid the beauteous gardens of the dis.
tant strand, if you will permit this
form of speech in one whose tongue
was ever attuned to poesy, and indeed
l so speak with confidence, as one unto
his kind, for I perceive by your eyes
that you too, sir. are gifted with the
divine imitation. In these far lands
reveled in the ambrosial food that
fructifies the soul, the mind, the heart.
But of all things, that which most ap.
pealed to my Unborn aesthetic taste
was the prevailing custom there. among
the rich, of making collections of ele.
CANT and costly rarities, dainty objets
de vertu, and in an evil hour I tried
to uplift my uncle Ithuriel to a plane
of sympathy with this exquisite EN-.
ployment.
wrote and told him Of one gentle.
mans vast collection of shells; an.
other 8 noble collection of meerschaum
pipes another's elevating and refining
collection of undecipherable auto.
graphs; another's priceless collection
Of old china; an0ther's enchanting
collection of postage.stamps-and so
forth and so on. Soon my letters
yielded fruit. My uncle began to look
about for something to make collec.
ton of. You may know, perhaps, how
heetly taste like this dilates. His
soon became raging fever, though
knew it not. He began to neglect his
great pork business; presently he
wholly retired and turned an elegant
leisure into a rabid search for curious
things. His wealth was vast, and he
spared it not. First he tried COW.
bells. He made a collection which
filed five large salons. and compre.
hended all the different sorts of cow.
bells that had ever been contrived,
save one. That one-an antique. and
the only specimen extant-was DOS.
sessed by another collector. MY uncle
offered enormous sums for it, but the
gentleman would not sell. Doubtless
you know what necessarily resulted.
A true collector attaches no value to q
collection that is not complete. His
great heart breaks, he sells his hoard
he turns his mind to some field that
seems un0ccupied.
Thus did my uncle. lie next tried
brickbats. After piling up a vast and
intensely interesting collection, the
former difficulty superyened, his great
heart broke again he sold out his
soul 8 idol to the retired brewer who
possessed the missing brick, Then he
tried flint hatchets and other imple.
ments Of primeval man, but by and by
discovered that the factory where they
were made was supplying other col
lect0rs besides himself. He tried
Aztec inscriptions and stuffed whales
another failure, after incredible Ia.
Dor and expense. When his collection
seemed at last perfect, stuffed whale
arrived from Greenland and an Aztec
inscription from the Cundurango re.
gions Of Central America that made
all former specimens insignificant.
My uncle hastened to secure these no.
BILE gems. He got the stuffed whale,
but another collector got the inscrip.
ton. A real Cundurango, as possibly
you know, is a possession of such su-
preme value that, when once collect.
or gets it he will rather part with his
family than with it. So my uncle sold
out, and saw his darlings go forth
never more to return and his coal.
black hair turned white as snow in a
single night: ~.
Now he waited and Thought. he
knew another disappointment might
kill him. He resolved that he would
choose thugs next time that no other
man was collecting. He carefully
made up his mind, and once more en-
tered the field-this time to make a col.
lection Of echoes.
"Of what 2" saidI.
Echoes, sir. His first purchase was
an echo in Georgia that repeated four
times his next was q six.repeater in
Maryland his next was q thirteen-re.
peater in Maine the next was q nine.
repeater in Kansas his next was q
twelve repeater in Tennessee, which
he got cheap, 80 tospeak, because It'll
was out OF repair, . portion of tho craqp
which reflected It having tumbledI
down. He believed he could repair Il
at cost Of q few, thousand dollars.
and, by increasing the elevation with
masony, treble the repeating capacity;
but the architect who undertook the
job had never built an echo before,
and 80 he utterly spoiled this one.