The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-10-30
Dr.. r.Spanxter's Remedy.

Dr.Spanxter's Remedy.
A long time ago there lived king
aNd queen whose splendid palace stood
npon great green island in tho spark
ling se.. They had only ono child,
little Prince Pueker-a pretty boy, with
gOl,len hair and blooming cheeks, but
for all that, horribly naughty; though
his father and mother thought he wns
good and beautiful. For you must
know that in their kingdom lived q
wicked old furry, who hated little boys
and girls, and whenever ono was born
she directly gave its father and mother
ap.ir OF rose colored spectacles, which
grew on to their noses too tightly to be
moved, so that oil tho people lot their
children do whatever they pleased, and
nevar even found fault with them, for
thny all thought their own quite per.
feet; but the spectacles never had my
effect when you looked at other peoples
children.
Now everybody in the palace and out
OF it knew that Prince Fucker was rs
naughty little boy as could DO. He
was selfish and vain and proud, disa
grecablo in every way, and impatient rs
humble bee; besides, il ho wanted
anything he had only to scream for it,
md everything was set aside to got it.
AS for the kings gentlemen aud tho
queens maids, they constantly went on
picnic parties to desert islands, where
they could safely say what was in their
thoughts, for there was great danger
that the words would como Of them.
selves when they got very angry,
except Tor this relief; aud the lrettiest
Of all the maids at length discovered the
incest way possible to relieve her miud
without any risk; whenever she could
get in a dark corner she constantly made
up tho most shocking faces at Prince
Fucker, and felt very much the better
for it.
Now it's all very well to give child
everything it howls for when you can,
but il you can't, what are you going to
do about it? This vicw OF the matter
had not occurred to the king and queen.
but, OF course, there came a time when
they couldn't help seeiug it. Prince
Fucker cried and fretted so much all
day, generally, that whom night camc hc
was too tired to sit up, and 80 went to
bed with the sun, which he firmly bc-
loved put itself out on his account aud
nobody else's, and got up in the morn.
ing 30 early in order thnt his room might
be warm ard bright before he rose HIM
self; but ono day ho had oversight him
self, and so kept awake ut night, and,
looking out OF tho palace window, saw
the full moon in tho sky overhead shin
ing splendidly.
"Give mo that thing, that round
thing" bawled the prince, pointing at
tho moon.
"May it please your highncs9," said
the prettiest maid Of honor, advancing
from the corner where she had been
making faces ut him iu tho dark, and
calling him names in har throat, "thHt
is tho moon; nobody can got it "
Prince Packer hoxel her ears. and
burst out crying with oil his might and
main.
"Give it to mel ow, ow, owl Twill
have It'll I must yon shall ow, ow, ow,
ow, owl"
"My love my darling my sweet
boy exclaimed tho queen. running
hastily in, and tripping herself up on
her blue velvet train. " "Puckery, dar'
lug, tell your own devoted mammn
what yon want ard you shall bavo it this
instant"
SOW, ow, ow, ow, ow! I want the
moonl"
Tho Qucen reflected two seconis, and
then tainted away; in fact, abe couldn't
do anything elso under the circumstan-
ccs, and don't blame her.
In the meantime Prince Fucker
dauced up and down, screechlng md
bowling like n worry angry cat. aud tho
king, who wis holding council OF STATE
in the back parlor, came rushing up to
sec what allied the prince.
"Who has been abusing my son aui
heirl" ho asked, tlercely. looking about
him at the maids; for It is n curious fact
that all tho men in that island always
blamed the nearest woman whcn any
thing happened.
"Please your majesty" said Angeli'
ca, making q courtesy, "his hiGhnoss
wants tho MOON" :,
The king whistled. and put his hands
in his pockets; but then they were vol
vet pockets embroidered with gold
"Y9u aliall havo a moon instanter,
my boy" criOd he, rs n bright idea
struck him, Send me the head carpen'
ter directly" 30 tho head carpenter
camo. ,
Fetch all your ladders at oncer
said tho king. "Prnce Fucker is cry
ing for tho moon, and must have 1t.
"Please your majesty.
at don't please my majesty get en-