The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1876-10-01
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4 TALU4BLE INTENTION.
BY MAX ADELER.

| spiripg in an effort to hammer ou6 an ARTICLE
on 1.-THE Necessity for Speedy Resump,
pudeed up close to the colonel. Then he
"My name is Partridge. called to show
| you little invention OF mine"
Colonel. Haven't got time to look at
It. I'm buoy"
| Partridge. 81 see you are. Won't keep
you more'n minute. (Removing his hat.)
Look at that hat and tell me how it strikes
you"
Col. ooh, don't bother me Pm not in
terested in hats just now"
Part. " / know you amt, and that's not
hat. That's Partridges's Patent Atmos
pberic Refresher. Looks exactly like
high hat don't its Now that's the thing
you want most this kind of weather"
Col. "The thing want most is to have
you skip ont of here"
Part. what everybody wants is to keep
cool, of course. Now, how are you going
to do it z"
Col. I" Your impudence is cool enough
to freeze anything with the mercury at
1903"
we'll off you will do it with this hat But
how Z"
Col. "Oh, dry up and get out"
Part. 81 will explain. If you compress
air until it attaiDs considerable pressure,
and then suddenly release it, the rapid ex-
| p8n6lOn causes LILO dlT 10 dOSoTU uohI, 6uO
to produce quite a marked degree of cold
You know this of cOurse9"
Col. 81 wish you'd compress your air,
and then expand it in the ears of somebody
besides me-"
Part. "Now, in my invention I have
utilized this beautiful law of nature in q
manner that is certain to confer an inesti
mable blessing upon the human race. This
hat is really made of light boiler iron, CO.
vered with silk. At the present moment il
is subjected to pressure of eighty seven
pounds to the square inch. 1t that hat
should explode while 1 am sitting here, il
would blow the roof off of this building
Col. $50 it killed you wouldn't care
Part. "Well, sir, the way l work thie
wonderful appliance is this: The air pump
is concealed in the small of my back
under my coat. a pipe connects it with
!, kind of crank running down my right trou
ser leg, and fastened to my boot, 30 that the
mere act of walking pumps the air into thu
receiver"
Col. We'll, don't care cent if i
does"
Part. "But how do effect the coolin,
process Listen. Another pipe come
from the receiver and empties into kline
of sheet iron undershirt, perforated witt
holes, which 1 wear beneath my outsid
shirt"
Col. "If you'd wear something orer tina
shirt, 80 as to hide the dirt, you'd be mor'
! agreeable.
Part. "Now, s'posin's it's a warm day
I'm going along the street with the al
, crank in operation. The receiver is full.
want to cool off. I pull the string whic
, runs down my left sleeve; the air rushe
from the receiver, suddenly expands abou
my body, and makes me feel 80 cold that
begin to wish l had brought my overcoa
: with me-"
Col. 81 wieh to gracious you'd go hom
and get it now"
. Part. "You see, then, that this inven
ton is of the utmost value and Importance
and my idea in calling upon you was t.
give you chance to mention and describ
it in your paper, 80 that the public nigh
, know about it. You are the only editor
have revealed the secret to: thought II
give you the first chance to become a bene
factor of your race"
y Col "rm the kind of benefactor thu
charges one dollar line for such philan
@ thropy."
@ Part. "To assure yourself that the ma
n chine is perfect you must try it for yoursel
y just stand up and take your coat of. The
= Pl put the hat on your head, screw til
a pump into the small of your back, and raV
4 the other machinery down your legs"
q " Col. :" I'll see you hanged first"
@ Part. well, then, I'Il put it on mysel
the rod here in my trousers. This ia the al
= pump here, just above my suspender but
tons. The hat now contains about six al
= mospheres. Now l am ready to move
, Sect You observe how it works Z Til
, only noise you hear is a slight click of til
valve in the pump. A couple of more turn
- and you put your hand on my shirt oolls
and feel how near zero 1t is. l will get tt
q pressure up to one hundred pounds befol
:, /"
n Bang III!
), As soon as the colonel began to resl'i
the situation, he crawled out from benear
o. his overturned deck, wiped the contents
"a the inkstaDd from his face and hair wit
y the copy of that unfinished article upc
A. "The Necessity for Speedy Resumption
and looked about him. Mr.. Partridge w
AZ lying in the corner with splintered tab
,r over his legs, his head in a splttoon, AT
fragments of ruined machinery bursting OF
!, through enormous rents in his trousers ar
-, his coat. His cast-iron undershirt protrut
At ed in Jagged points from dozen orifces
A. his waIstcoat. AS the colonel took him /