The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1876-10-19


Japan. And now those heather have
an opportunity to go fishing one day
in the week, the same N some Chris
tian people.
Even IL the North Pole were discov-
cred, the discoverer would be followed
in ten minutes by Chinaman who
could live on iciclcs at two cents
gross.
II am a man of very quiet tastes"
said he as he went quietly behind the
door and tasted something.
Remarkably careful IL that Danbury
coal dealer who stands on the scale
himself to see that there il no fooling
with the weight of a load.
The judge who il clothed with lit
tie brief authority should bring a new
suit in court before cold weather comes
on.
Music is an important element in a
political party. When the band begin
to toot everybody thinks its a begins-to-
toot-ion.
Thirty-nine years have elapsed since
Queen Victoria first ascended the
throne, and i'm the mean time bustles
have developed so prodigiously that
she now has To sit on the extreme
edge of il, or stand.
Col. Cuthbert, of New York Herald,
has watched the steady, slow, decrease
of the Democratic vote in this coun-
try more carefully than any politician
living. He has attended one hundred
and tifty-one hangings.
George Eliot has indeed reaped her
reward. The favorite polonaise, this
autumn, is named after her heroine,
"Gwendolin. The novel itself has
already made bustle-of excitement.
In a few weeks the Democratic can
didate for Governor of New York will
be such lonely, desolate cast-away,
high and dry on the barren shores of
Salt River, that he viii sign himself
"Lucuis Robinson Crusoe."
A happy farmer in the west has
large stock Of cows, and he expects
TO calvc out his fortune In the spring.
n. q. Republican. But you don't
pronounce that word properly. You
couldn't ma calf IA good a pun upon
ii if you did.
There has been fall recently I'm
Appropriateness, and very fair relia-
BILE hippopotamus can be bought for
5000. There are indications Of u rise
however, and propis VI snsa;: means
should lay in their supply at once.
The Springfield hackmen have rails
ed Tilden flag. That's Jehu-dic-
ious Boston Post. The
average hackmen, who charges you
two dollars when the law allows him
only one, Is just the kind Of REFORM
er to tie to man who pays one dollar
income tax where he ought to pay
two.
Clara Louise Kellogg, while driving
in Barkhamstead, Connecticut, had
the top of her carriage damaged by
overhanging branches, and she asks
the town to pay her twenty dollars
for the damage. This strikes US as A
Natural demand, and the town should
not be restrained from yielding to it Is
minor considerations.
Most of us think too much Of our
selves to jump overheard for the pur-
pose of rescuing woman who has
hustle enough to float ashore.
The Milwaukee clergyman who was
stung between the eyes by a bumble-
bee as he ascendcd the pulpit, would
have said it was warning had the
bee popped it to a man just as he was
going fishing.
A Dayton man who received an in
vitation from friends I'm Philadelphia
to come on and visit the Centennial,
wrote back: "You are very kind, but
since married and became familiar
with the mysteries of woman's
wardrobe, variety shows have lost
their charm for me-"
An intelligent German, now travel
ing in America, writes from the Cen
tennial to one of his home journals
that "the Americans waste more than
they eat" 1t is painfully evident
looked at u platoon of native Ameri-
cans walk up to the bar and desolate
the free lunch table.
Sitting Bull, in his account of Gus
ter's men, says his braves never fall
tered in the terrible work of scalping
the slain but once. and that was when
with trembling lips and wondering
eyes, they gathered in impressive 81
lence around the body of a young man
with his hair parted in the middle.
There is one thing about Charles
Francis Adams and his Democratic
colleague, Henry Clay Dean; Charles
Frances changes his politics a great
deal oftener than Henry Clay does his
shirt. But paradoxical as it may APP
pear, the politics of the one generally
keep rs dirty rs the shirt of the other.
"Governor Tilden," said u young
lady who admired the old man, ''do
let me straighten your collar; ah, do"
And she couldn't understand why the
old man turned 10 pale and walked
away as though she had said some
thing that had offended him.
Indiana" remarks an exchange
sis q camp" Yes, probably the worst
lot Of the hardest camps that ever
lodged the penitentiary are now in
the State, attending the Democratic
convention Of nonresident imported
voters, at Indianapolis.
1t seems that Mr.. Hobbs, reformer,
who is now shrieking for Tilden and
reform in Indiana, was once county
superintendent, and has decidedly
interesting record in connection with
his official career; quite reformatory
twang to it, in fact.
They really say that the trunks left
with the Philadelphia landlady by
boarders who fit and leave no sign,
are SO light with emptiness that they