, 1876-10-08
HuM0R,

A Star in the IilkyWay-A fashionable dairy
man.
A Cincinnati fiend adyertises for men with
fever and ague to shake carpets.
The man who can strike at the same fly Oh his
nose nine times without swearing Is indeed 4
philosopher.
Mosquitoes still prevail, but it is noticed that
they hum only revival airs, and never buzz back
when they are struck at, now.
"Sickncss lad impaired his health.r said a
Wisconsin editor, which led rival to remark:
"Yes; it often has that effect.''
Lady ito waiter)w"Don't Don't put TINT ice into
ma'am, I don't mind; my hands are very
warm.'
ga friend Of ours" says the editor Of con-
temporary, is growing weaker and weaker
every day. He has got SO weak now that be
can't raise S."
A little girl was asked the meaning Of t'hap-
py." She gave pretty answer, saying: !" It is
things to your sister,"
An editor says: " We have received a basket
OF tine grapes from our friend -, for which he
will please accept our compliments, some Of
which are nearly an inch in diameter.''
Two persons we're waiting in the railroad sta
tion. One asked the other, " What time is it,"
She looked at the clock, and replied, "It's ten
minutes to wait" But it was only twenty min
utes past Z.
In police court two young men accused Of
they were hungry. Why didn't you steal
bread, then2" the Judge asked, and the senten-
tious reply was, Liked pie bctter.'
Crowd at the station waiting for a late train
affable young man accosts grnff old gentleman:
"Sir, think have had the pleasure Of meet
ing you before. Your face looks familiar" Old
nh 2rtn 1..Sx T.
old IS ann
remedy for all kinds Of snakc-bites. And when
q man in that State fell off house the other
day, breaking four ribs and raising lump on
his head as large as mock-orange, he insisted
that he had been bitten by q rattlesnake.
Advertisement from a Black Hills newspaper:
1t having been quite generally given out that
Capt. Ben haI departed from This vale OF tears,
an opportunity is here offered to view his re-
mains and witness the urbane corpse deal out
tea, flour, shoulders, bacon, hams, coffee, shelf
goods, and a complete wholesale stock Of the
finest liquors and cigars ever brought into the
Hills"
"Gimme something to cure boil, - exclaimed
citizen as he dashed nEo one Of the drug
stores yesterday. t'Ah, SO you've got one Of
the things now, have yous" smiled the clerk.
eyes, sir, and it's jug in the right place.
"why, why, where is thats' tOn my hired
man," came the sweet reply, and the clerk saw
the point.-FuAon Times.
4 husband having arraycd himself elaborasely
with CATERS, gamebag, and gun, accompanied
By his faithful dog, goes forth to hunt, but
shoots nothing. Impossible to return EMPTY
handed to the house, he stops at the market and
buys hare, which he presents to his wife. The
hare was terribly high-not alone in price,
"Ah!'' said the wife, with a sniff; ts so you
killed it! You were right. It was high time."-
French paper.
An honest citizen is stopped on his way home
one dark night, BY 2 footpad, but, drawing his
about to move away, when a thought strikes
him, and returning to the corpse he examines its
pockets In them he finds four gold Watches
roll Of bills, and some small change. Slowing
way, remarking: "Not SO bad, after alp
Paris Figaro.
One night last week citizen out on the West
Hill started downtown, aud on his way he met
the Democratic procession. Thinking that it
was lost boy, he reprimanded it severely, and
was going to lead it home, when a Chairman of
one Of the numerous Committees, VINO was
hunting for the procession with lantern, in
formed the citizen OF his error, and rescued the
demonstration from untimely Incarceration
Burlo,gto41 Hauksye.
4 poor devil afflicted with complicated and
painful disorder is to be treated by famous
surgeon The operation Is delicate and diff
less attention by an immense audience of STU
dents and friends, and while probing the wounds
he narrates his theory and treatment. The pa
tient sighs, moans, how1s. :" "Confound yon!''
cries the surgeon, twill you hold your tongue?
How ON earth do you suppose any one can hear
me F"-iVt,o York I1orld
Eddie, q chap OF 311 years, was sent to the
corner store to get two WcES but he got intn