Smyrna times., 1876-08-23


The Constitutional Amendment designed
% prevent the appropriation Of public
chool funds for the benefit Of scctarian
schools, did not obtain the requisite two
birds vote in the U. s. Senate. The
Democrats, several of whom were Roman
Catholics, all voted against it while the
Republicans all voted for it. 1t obtained
but not two-thirds.
The Albany Jo,unal says; What do the
American people think Of a man who with
drew from the church Lecausc the pastor
preached a sermon in favor Of upholding
the Government against the traitors in
arms? That is what Hendricks did, and
now he wants the loyal masses of the coun-
try to make him Vice President Of the
United States.
A Chicopec man had cat which he
cared 10 longer 10 possess. lie took tho
animal into the garden, struck it nine
times OH the head with hammer, and as
it still moved, he boxed its ears with q
spade, and then buried it, Next morning
that cat walked seronly into breakfast,
willing to forget the past. t."-Sar@mah Ncra.
GRAHAM BISCUIT WITHOUT YEAST OR SODA.
Mix your flour with warm mot hot)
milk and water to the consistency of batter,
wifi
it kissing hot, and pour in your batter.
Set it for a moment on the range to rise,
then into a quick oven, and serve them as
baked, because they fall.
"Wheres the bar?" asked dirty look
ing stranger of the bell boy of the hotel the
other day. "What kind of ?" asked
the latter. why, a saloon bar of course
what do you suppose | mean?" "WcI,'
drawled the boy, 81 didn't know but you
might mean bar of soap"
To CLEAN THE INSIDE OF ANY TEAPoT.-f
the inside Of your teapot or coilccpot is
black from long use, fill it with water,
throw in a small piece Of hard soap, set Oh
the stove and let boil from half a hour to
an hour. 1t will clean as bright as a new
dollar, and cost no work.
BEEF LoAF.-One and onc-half pounds Of
lean steak chopped very fine, two eggs,
one teaspoon of salt, one teaspoon pepper,
one small cup OF rolled cracker Mix
well, and form in a loaf; put bits of butter
on top, and bake. 4 fine relish for lunch
or tea.
An elderly Wicklow maiden, who had
suffered some disappointment, thus defines
the human race: Mana cong'omcrato
mass of hair, tobacco smoke, confusion,
conceit and boots. Woman-thc waiter,
perforce, on the aforesaid animal.
Circumstances alter cases." said law
yer to his clint, after losing his fourth law
suit. Cases alter circumstances, savagcly
replied the client. by your manage
mcnt of my cases my circumstances have
been nearly ruined
When a woman comes to the door and
calls after her husband, IIcnRE-E =
finishing the last syllable in capital letters
you may know that she is not in a CAPT
tai humor.
There is a girl in Burlington, VT, who
is now six feet seven inches in height, and
3 is still growing. Hang a girl you can't
: kiss without going to the expense of a step
ladderl
Nine times out of ten if you ask a Demo-
crat what he thinks of Gov. Tilden's letter
the answer will be: "Wcll, the fact is, |
! have not had time to read it carefully yet"
Are you lost, my little fellow?" asked
gentleman of four-year-old on Main
street Saturday. "No," he sobbcd inreply,
= "b-but m-my mother is."-Rochcstcr Union.
| -
, We often live under a cloud; aud it is
well for us that we should do so. Uninter-
rupted sunshine will parch our hearts.
We want shade and rain to refresh them.
When Sitting Bull declined to go on tho
reservation, it was probably because ho
had a mental reservation of his own to
resort to.-N. Y. ComI Adc.
Nearly all the pcst,offices in Texas are in
charge Of females. 1t works so well that
the males now arrive and depart every