The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1876-03-30
Ghe1ntelIige1tc
MARK TWAIN's DUEL.


.cn NJ r,rraiiye Is that 1t is true story. Il
t,. 4 moral on the end OF it, but claim
ng,binr on that, as il is merely thrown II
~ curry favor with the religious element
iitef | had reported q couple Of year,
on the Virginia CITY (Nev.l Daily Eater
- thew promoted me to be Editor.in
Chiei, and lasted Just week BY thu
watch. But made an uncommonly live
Is newspaper while ! did last, and wher
/ retired / had duel on my hands and
three horsewhippings promised me. =,
The latter | made no attempt to col
lcc, however, this story concerns only
the former. It was the old "hush times
Of the silver excitement, when the popul1;-
tion was wonderfully wild and mixed;
everybody went armed to the teeth, ana
ali siiOhts and insults had to be asoned
inr win The beat article Of blood yourrsys-
lem could furnish. In the course Of my
editing made trouble with a Mr; Lord,
the editor Of rival paper. lie new up
about some li;tle iriNe or other That l
:siJ about him do not remember now
what il was. suppose ! called him
. thief or 4 body.snatcher, or an
IDIOT, or something like that; | was
obliged to make the paper readable,
and I couldn't fail in my dutyto whole
community Of subscribers merely to save
the exaggerated sensitiveness OF an indi.
yiiual. Mr.. Lord was offended, and re-
piled vigorously in his paper. Vigorous
|. means good deal when it refers to a
rer.onaI editorial in frontier newspa-
pe-. Dueling was all the fashion among
The upper classes in that country,a and very
ieS gentlemen would throw away an OPP
por.anity OF fighting one. To kill one
man in u duel caused a man to be even
more looked up 10 than to kill two men in
the ordinary way, Well,o there il you
abused u man and that man did not like
If, Won had to call him out and kill him,
otherwise you would be disgraced. So l
challenged Mr.. Lord, and | did hope he
would not accept; but l knew very well
tina; he did not want to fight, and so 1
challenged him in the most violent and
implacable manner. And then | sat
down and snutfed and snuffed till the an
swer came. All the boys-the editors
were in the Office helping" me in the dis
nal business, and telling about duels and
discussing the code with lot Of aged
ruilns, who had experience in such
matters, and altogether there was loving
interest taken in the matter that made me
uncomfortable. The answer
csme-Mr. Lord declined. Our boys
we're furious, and so was on the surface.
sent him another challenge, and an
other, and the more he did not want to
tight the more bloodthirsty | became.
Bat at last the mans tone began to
change. He appeared to be waking up.
# was becoming apparent that he was
going to fight me after all. l ought TO
have known how it would be-he was a
man who could never be depended upon.
Oar boys were jubilant. ! was not,
though tried hard to be.
1t was now time togo out and practice.
1t was the custom there to fight duels
with navy six.shooters at fifteen PAGES
load and empty till the game for the
funeral was secure. We went to ravine
Just out OF town and borrowed barn
door for q target-borrowed it from a
gentleman who was absent-and we stood
hi. barn door up, and stood rail on the
end against the middle Of it to represent
Lord, and put a squash on top OF
the rail to represent the head. lie
was very tall lean creature, the
poorest sort OF material for duel;
nothing but a line shot could fetch
him. and even then he might split your
ballet. Exaggeration aside, the rail was,
OF course, little too thin to represent the
body, but the squash was all right. II
there was any intellectual difference be-
tEeen the squash and the head it was in
tavor OF the squash.
Well, practiced and practtced at the
harm door, and could not hit it; and |
practiced at the rail- and could not hit
that: and | tried for the squash, and
could not hit that. ! would have been
entirely dishenrtened but that OCCASION
ally crippled one Of the boys, and that
gave me hope.
At last we began to hear pistol shots
near by in the next ravine. We knew
VIA, that meant! The other party was
ont practicing too. Then was in the
last degree distressed, for of course they
would hear our shots and then send over
tho ridge, and the spies would find my
barn door without wound or mark, and
that would simply be an end to me, for
Of coursa the other man would immedi-
ately become as blOOdthirsty as was.
Just at that moment little bird no
.lrger than a sparrow flew by and lit on
.bush about thirty PAGES away, and my
lille second, Steve ellis, who was dead
shot with a pistol-much better than l
was-snatched out his revolver and shot
the birds head of! We all ran TO pick
up the game, and sure enough, inst at
this moment, some Of the other duelists
came accommodating over the little ridge
They ran to our group to see what thu
matter was, and when they saw the birC
Lords second said:
THAT was splendid shot. How fal
of was it?'
Steve said with some indifference:
ooh, no great distance. About 80 pa
ces."
Thirty PAGES! Heavens alive! Who
did it,"
"NIy man-Twain."
"T6e mischief he did! Can he do il
ol,en2"
SWell, yes. He can.dO it about four
times out OF five."
knew the little rascal was lying, but
never said anything. lneyer told him
30. He was not OF disposition TO in
vite confidence Of that kind, so l let thu
matter rest. But 1t was comfort TO SCI
those people look sick, and see their jaw
drop whea Steve made that statement
They went off and got Lord and took hin
home; when he got home, half an houl
later, there was a note saying that Mr.
Lord peremptoriIy declined to fight,
Wefouud ont atterward that Lord hi
his mark thirteen times in eighteen shots
1.-The had put those thirteen bullets into m
it would have narrowed my sphere o
Usefulness good deal. True they conl'
have put pegs in the holes and use me 70
a ha..rack; but what is hat.rack to
man who feels he has intellectual powers
lhave written this true incident OF m.
history for one purpose only-te war;
the youth ofto-day against the practie
Of dGeling, and to plead with them !.
war againstit. l Twas young and tOolisl
when challenged the gentleman, ant
thought it very ine and grand to be