The Arizona sentinel., 1876-08-12
MISCELLANY.

bWeIN0 IO every uOAou'
 A woman in New York says that when her husband is a little drunk he kicks her, and when he is very drunk she kicks him; and she adds that she does most of the kicking.
 Alba. Iowa, has a peculiar burg lar. He recently entered a house in the dead of night and stole set of teeth. The same evening he entered another house and stole eatables enough to last him week.
 The advantages of advertising are clearly proven in the case of q Cincinnati man who advertised a few days ago for a harmonicon, and was presented by his wife on the following night with twins.
 A hotel in Kansas has the fol- lowing notice displayed in the bed rooms: "Gentlemen wishing to commit suicide will please take the centre ofthe the room to avoid staining the bed linen. walls and furniture with blood"
 Now is the time for lovers to get spOOney over ice-cream, she talk ing a few pretty dabs at his va nilla, and he borrowing taste of her chocolate. This process in- spires confidence in the day when they will be throwing cOrn-beef and cabbage across the table.
 Two tramps stopped at the house of a lone widow in Westchester county and one went in to beg. Very soon he came out with bloody nose and a tlack eye. "Did you get anything, Jack?" "Yes,' growled the sufferer, "I've got the widows might"
 A Whitehaller with a vermil- lion nose was tormenting lady about her age. Just look at mel" he excIaimed-fdon't I look as if l was just out of my teens"- "Yes," she answered, with look of triumph, If you mean can teens" His nose was quickly put out of joint. Whitehall Times.
 The Massachusetts fanatic who told his neighbors that the world was certainly coming to an end this month, has not yet risen to explain how it was that he came to rent out his farm for year ahead of that time, and what's more. to demand his rent in ad- vance, besides.
 Another cowardly attack has been made on woman's rights by the Rev. Mir. Hemphill, of San Francisco. who says ''My Good ness!" Goodness Graciousw and "Law Sakes Alivew is naughty. If MT. Hemphill wants to force a woman to swear like a man let him say VdtJejo Chronicle.
 A girl should never be asked why she does not marry. The "why" is her own business. One young lady hard pressed by her mother, said: "I am not unwil- 1 ling to be married; but where is the proper man? You cannot eX- pect me to go out and IasSo hus- band"
 The City Marshal of Attica. Ind !, 1 has devised new means of pu nishing wife whippers who will 1 not pay their fines and refuse to | work on the streets. He chains them to lamp posts, or fastens them to chairs, which are mount. ed on dry-groOds boxes, and ad- Orns them with the placard |: "He whipped his wife" The Marshal is unmarried.
 The Austin (Nev.) ReUeiUe says: The season for hauling wood and charcoal being about to set in, a saloon-keeper who is up to the times has invented a new drink which he calls "COalburners' EcS- tAcy and Teamsters' RejuvinatOr." one drink of this makes man forget all his earthly troubles; two drinks make him think he's smarter man than Brigham Young; the third causes him to fancy himself General Crook on the war-path against the Sioux and the fourth is calculated to land him in the august presence of Justice Logan, with the danger of S30 worth of "painful duty" staring him in the face
 VERACITY.-There is no place in the United States where vera city is so strictly cultivated as in Danbury, Conn. It would be inn possible to hire any of it's citizens to tell anything but the eXact truth, and therefore, the Danbur- ian can be relied on who tells the following story of a narrow escape he had from a terrible death. He was crossing long railroad bridge on foot, when he was surprised | to see locomotive coming around a curve and tearing toward him at terrific speed. The bridge 1uaS tnn narrnW tO allow of nSnann |