The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-07
THE ASSER'S STORY

Mark Twain in the December Atlantic
Poor, sad-eyed stranger! There was
that about his humble mien, his tired
look, his decayed gentility clothes,
that almost reached the mustard-seed
OF charity that still remained. remote
and lonely, in the empty vastness of
my heart, Notwithstanding observed
u portfolio under his arm, and said to
myself, behold, Providence hath deliv-
cred his servant into the hands of an
other canvaSser.
Well, these people always get one in.
terested. Before | we'll knew how it
came about, this one was telling me
his history. and | was all attention
and sympathy. He told it something
like this:
My parents died, alas, when | was a
little, sinless child. My uncle Ithuriel
took me to his heart and reared me as
his own. He was my only relative in
the world; but he was good and rich
and generous. He reared me in the
lap of luxury. | knew no want that
money could satisfy.
In the fullness of time | was gradu-
ated, and went with two of my Serv-
ants-my chamberlain and my valet
to travel in fereign countries. During
four years fitted upon careless wing
amid the beauteouS gardens of the dis.
tant strand, if you will permit this
form of speech in one whose tongue
was ever attuned to pOesy, and indeed
SO speak with confidence, as one unto
his kind, for perceive by your eyes
that You too, sir. are gifted with the
divine imitation. In these far lands
reveled in the ambrosial food that
fructifies the soul, the mind, the heart.
But of all things, that which most ap-
pealed to my Unborn aesthetic taste
was the prevailing custom there among
the rich, of making collections of ele.
giant and costly rarities. dainty objets
de vertu, and in an evil hour | tried
to uplift my uncle Ithuriel to u plane
of sympathy with this exquisite en-
plOyment.
wrote and told him of one gentle
mans vas. collection of shells an
other noble collection of meerschaum
pipes (; another elevating and refining
collection of undecipherable auto
graphs; another's priceless collection
of old china; another's enchanting
collection of postage-stamps-and so
forth and 50 on. Soon my letters
yielded fruit. My uncle began to look
about for something to make collec.
ton of. You may know, perhaps, how
ileetlya taste like this dilates. His
soon became raging fever. though l
knew it not. He began to neglect his
great pork business; presently he
wholly retired and turned an elegant
leisure into u rabid search for curious
things. His wealth was vast. and he
spared it not. First he tried COW.
bells. He made collection which
filled five large salons. and compre-
hended all the different sorts of cow
bells that had ever been contrived,
save one. That one-an antique, and
the only specimen extant-was pos.
sesssd by another collector. My uncle
offered enormous sums for it. but the
gentleman would not sell. Doubtless
YOU know what necessarily resulted
4 true collector attaches no value to q
collection that is not complete. His
great heart breaks, he sells his hoard
he turns his mind to some field thai
seems unoccupied.
Thus did nv uncle. He next triet
brlckbats. After tiling up vast ant
intensely interesting collection. thu
former difficulty supervened. his grea
heart broke again; he sold out hi:
souls idol to the retired brewer WHIT
possessed the missing brick, Then hi
tried flint hatchets and other nipple
ments o. primeyal man. but by and BY
discovered that the factory where they