The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-08-03
"WHOOP la"
The Mutual Admiration So
ciety in the Third Ward.
The Colored ''Demosthen-
kneeses" Crates.
And ''Cry God for Republication
and . Continuation or
Saint Grant,

minded one of the fact that man hath
but short time to tarry upon the face of
the earth. Bearing this in miad, and
being aware of the fact that greater
part of the animals composing the aggrs-
gated combination of the worlds wonder,
belonging to Old John Robinson, had
escaped on the Island, Monday evening,
and had swan the river, and were now
roaming ut will throughout this vicinity,
even IN the city itself, the REGISTER man
in search OF items for the public to
peruse at leisure, wandered amid
the stiffness of the night in quest
of the same Hearing great noise on
Make. street, as if Wah Lee with his
tom.tom had been set ahoat and was Great
ing heavenly music TO sooth the soul Of
weary man, we meandered through the
labyrinths of people that crowded the
thoroughfare and reached the scene of
action, fully expecting to see the menag-
arie OF Old John Gagged, and the wild
beasts secured. But, lol and behold the
colored Republicans were marching be-
hind the coored band to their pole in the
Third ward. Deacon Halstead with his
arm around the neck of gentlemanly
moke and Lord High Chancellor KEN
pic with his arm also in the
same loving position led the "procesh"
end were encored to the echo as they
marched to the rendezvous.
Arriving at the place where the cere-
monies were to take place, the lea ding
colored gentleman, and Lord High Chan
cellor Kemple assembled the platform
while the reverend divine, one Halsted by
name, remained on terra tirma to report
back to Archy's paper that $4,000 or 90
600, more or less, Republicans were
there assembled to Golf up the bile from
their respective stomachs and take the
scalp off the heads of the Democracy.
Mr.. STRAINS
was first to the stand, took drink of
water, declared that Massa Hayes was
elected by 6tyfce thousand four hundred
majority over "Ole Bill Allen" and then
sat down, amid the vociferous cheers of
the masses.
Mr. ROLES
was next presented. He artistically got
away with large amount of stereotype
phrases, captured from some Republican
newspaper, took drink, also, and tum-
bled TO his seat. Then came
Mr.. Jackson.
This man whereased and resoluted tho
whole Republican platform. He quoted
from other Republican speeches about the
Hamburg street fight; grew elo-
quent over the affair, and hoped his
tongue would cleave to the roof of his
mouth, and his game arm would wither
when he turned to the Democracy for his
political faith.
Lo, the conquering hero comes
LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR KEMPLE,
who had risen some half dozen times
during the evening, IN response to calls
from the mob, but had, firmly but
gently, been requested to wait until
the sun-burnt white gentleman had fin
ished, now found an opening to 60 for
the mustard plaster on Market.street-
organ (the REGIsTER), as he termed it,
and said that paper had chucked mud at
him that morning, IN saying that he
didn't say much on the Island the night
before; he said as much, he said as much
he asserted, as any one else
and was glad Of it, and
would chuck mud back at that paper,
and would make it feature of the CAM
paign to 60 for it on every occasion. he
then told dialect story, took a drink
and sat down, amid vociferous applause
from the hoodlum.
La bouquet was here taken on the
stand by lady of color. kumor saith
the Lord Chancellor was the recipient,
but. his highness saith not, and the re-
ceiver of the gift will remain unknown to
US forever.-REP.J
Mr.. SEYMOUR
then wound up in glorious tribute to the
Republican party, and drifted slowly
onward through the mysterious mazes Of
politics until he said something he hadn't
ought to, took drink and sat down, amid
loud calls for Wah Lee to "give the De-
mocracy hi on the Chinese platform.
ALEXANDER TURNER
then arose like a Numidisn lion, as the
circus bill puts 1t, and said that he, as
we'll as any other man, had q
right to say what he pleased,
"sn' was gwan' to spit it out, he was
He went to the end of his vocabulary
of big words, and absquatulated the
whole concern, amid three cheers for
Hayes and Wheeler, proposed by the
youthful divine of the hteitigeneer, his
curly locks stitfsning into bristles with the
excitement Of the occasion. And they
went home, sad and weary.