National Republican., 1876-01-08
Grasping Opportunitfes-Aow . Life
Position Can be Easily secured-The
Court and the Fly-They were Going
Home TO Fig hf No More.

whats your name 2" said his Honor to man
with q wan and va cant Stare.
George Washington Jfnks, )" returned the pris-
oner.
"what have you been doing?"
Nothing"
THAT makes you q vagaDond," said his Honor,
sand, George Washington Jinks, If you wiggle
your ears in the pre- ence OF this Court Just once
more-iust one single, solitary riggle-In
make you jail-5rd 70: life, and you shall wear
striped plumage and flop about 10 your iron cage,
and hear no sounds save yoar own -ings." His
ears were silent, calm and still, but he continued
looking at the Judge with cannibaIistic, hungry
stare that made his Horror feel as though he were
control over his saved him from the life SEN
tence, but his yagrancy gave him thirty days in
the work-houee.
MEDIATION AND INTERVENTION.
"Offcer, who is the prisoner at the barr" said
his honor.
"Toggles."
What Toggles?"
Solomon Toggles Sir
"Toggles with Solomon prefix said his
Honor, turning upon the prisoner. What means
that broker nose, those swollen eyes, that bloody
ear and those SHREDDED garments? Have you been
keeping house with a cyclone?"
Your Honor" said Solomon, picking up one of
the prisoners hats and laying 1t on the table,yOu
mind that do you?"
~ do" returned the Court.
the Srst and Continued, HYOu see that also?'
IL behold it" answered his Honor.
'welI, Just imagine that lower hat Mrs. Sti-
ner fiat On the ground in the backyard, and the
upper one John Stiner, her husband, with one
hand on his wffe's ear and the other on her nose,
and then imagine Solomon Toggles jumping over
the line fence and rushing gailantIy TO the res.
cue and seiZipg John StiDer by the collar and
throwing him into one corner ofthe yard, aud
then taking Mrs. Stiner by the arms and lining
her to Bn upris ht. eud then watch her as she
seizes the saw-buck and pounces upon me like a
whIrlNind and you have the story completed in
eyes and these tattered garments. A man might
better clutch both hands hold OF a red-hot grid
quarrel It's business in which he has no ousi.
swGy didn't you think Of that before:" said his
Honor.
"If it please thu Court, it is quite bad enough
10 think Of il now, and the Court looking at the
thing in the same light told IoggIes iaSis-s1d up
Of domestic war; S>aSolomon marched out, o
small boy inIDts.sssd Which way did the cow
KICK VOW and lodged, but was not quick
s2l2csa.
| CRASHING OPPORTUNITIES.
What did you strike that man for when he
| was down." inquired the Court of a very rough
looking man with red shirt and green neck
| :" Because didn't want him to getup."
| DON'T you know It is cowardly to take advan-
| tage Of a man when he is down."
1T may be cowardly, your Honor, but it's safe.
There's nothing like grasping opportunities. II
| that man had got up would have probably got
down, and as couldn't see any money in that
| transaction, Just imagined his throat an oppor-
| tunity, and grasped it with one hand, and when
he undertook to riz, lowered him with the other.
Tsntsge Of circamstapces. It's the best Wsy Tin in
| the world to work out success"
"You may work out thirty days, and If you sue
| you like it;'' and the Court made a large three
and a cipher and handed it to the clerk.
HOW TO SECURE LIFE POSITION.
| boy, how many eyes have you got 2" and the
young rascal addressed winked and blnked and
| Two, reckon"
NOV, re,t those two eyes on the Court aud tell
| him where you stole those cigars"
| ~ didn't steal 'em, neither"
| What! didn't steal those cigars. did you say
| Just carrying um home for him.
| "Whers the blind man,
| He died last night and was buried this morn
ing, dog on um; and he knew l wanted him to
come down and swear me off,"
ali there is anything l admire it is a truthful
| boy; go l Will give you position 10 the work
| carry some other blind mans stolen cigars, and
will renstate you fer three months, and BY keep
/ ing this thing up you'll have life position.
| There is something abcu. life position OF this
| kind that will just suit you. You may not feel
like trying IT, but ii you should, some oticer will
| probably let me Know 1t IN time TO help you
| along"
HIS HONOR AND THE FLY.
through the crowd TO position in the dock win.
dow q fly, which had been resurrected by the
1 warm weather, winged its way to the judge
desk, and after few sickly efforts succeeded 10
| climbing to the rim Of the inkstand, where 1t
| rested looking with wan and hungry stare into
s s Of s anS sssn Ia GS lie Sr
Of his right hand upon the palm Of his left thus
soliloQuized ITO fy or not to fly, that's the
life to suffer sleep or to arise and shake off ones
lethargy, and by resisting come to life and whole.
sOme exercise. To come TO life is but 20 &C. and
| work and do, and waltz about, and in the butter
get and buzz and tickle. This is a resurrection
devoutly to be wished. To wilt, to die, to sleep,
more searching than that Of war and postiienc..
| For to have wings and not be able to manipulate
them. To have the facilities to buzz and yet not
deIeterious, and then this foolish waste of time,
| When on the kitchen table sugar lays in heaps,
and down the jugs sides strolls molasses sweet,
the bitter force Of cold and frost. and thus must
give pause to lifes activity. IT'S hard to bear,
| and harder still to awake from the dormant state
and fine one's self alone. To grunt and sweat
under q weary reach for food, and find 1t not. To
climb the pinnacle Of an inkstand and stare his
| Honor in the eye, and plead for sweetmeats,
where be has nothing save a sour apple on hand.
This is tough and yet ts we'll; for the longer you
staTve TIE Longer you'll sleep P wnsn exhausted
humanity; for you to flee to that borne from
whence no traveller gets a round trip ticket
SO dust" and his Honor snapped 1t from the rim
Of the inkstand, and 1t fell bruised and mangled
corpse on to the head Of the recording clerk be-
low, and from thence rolled noiselessly on to the
floor. His Honor gaZed thoughtfully on the life
less form for a moment, and then turning to the
| dock window, said:
"Young man, You haunt me like the form of some
departed shade. Week before last you were here,
last week you were here and this week you are
this s Io VIE Ssaaai ainss
that you can't be good. i believe you would
rather smash out window light any a time M than an
somebody. If had q boy like you, would send
him to Europe to be educated. You can never be
association or one thing or another is wrong and
don't seem to iibe well with the ingredients Of
your peculiar nature. Any boy who viii talk
bald headed man and tell him TO go up the next
and the following Monday steal SIX apples from
never make q successful missionary, although he
might possibly exc out paltry living IS book
agent" Then turning TO an officer he said: "0h
young man during the next fortnight, refer them
to the warden of the new jail, and they will have
no trouble finding him."
GOING HONE TO FIGHT No MORE.
What! here again, are you, mrs. Skinner,
Looking lean and lank, and thinner
Thar you were when you were forty,
And by ow you're forty.fve.
What's the cause of all this trouble;
This incessant toll and bubble?
Can't you live IN peace, Mrs. skinner,
And Erow tat, instead ofthinner?
CAN'T you dwell with Mrs. wrighter
without this desire to bite hes-
/ Desire to scratch and claw her over,
/ Like some crusty pirate rover?
Ofccurte you can; RS all habit:
Take that hate out now and etab 1t;
| Kill IL dead, and live in peace,
Borrowing freely each others yeast.
And when they passed out the door, arm in arm
| the small boys in the entrance warbled-
| Mrs wrighter and Nrs Skinner,
/ One was thin and 'tother thinner,
/ And they fought each other over,
| Like crusty pirate rover.
Now they walk In arms together,
Like two birds Of q sim lar feather;
| Col n-g home, to night no more.
Coal.0il Fire.
A cOal.Oil lamp exploded in the three story