Lexington weekly intelligencer., 1876-07-01
BLAIN AND THE D
New York Sun.

Two InulVIQualS StOou W IhS C"p
itol steps just after the adjournment
of the house, watching the congress,
men as they came out. A casuai
observer. would have taken the palr
for intelligent foreigners studying
the institutions Of the conatry. Yet
thev were no strangers to Washington.
One was the DEVILS undertaken, the
other was the Devils himself.
swell, " hat do you think of Blaine!"
said a congressman to Ben Wade III
the hearing of our friends.
"He beats the Devil" sententious-
ly remarked the ex-statesman.
The great unknown thus alluded
to smiled placidly and said to his
companion:
.sRather amusing. isu't it? Beats
the Devil Very good"
"It is funny, your Majesty, replied
the Undertaken, and they both laugh
ed. "It is evident that these people
do not comprehend the dual nature
of the Satanic principle. They 40
not see that the Devil is as distinct
from the Devil'sUndertaker as Vishnu
the preserver, is from Silva, the de-
stroyer. 1t is your interest, of course
to maintain these rascals on earth
Just as long as they give any promise
of further usefulness to the cause. Il
! gather them IN when you are through
with them. Yet. whenever:ia- poor
wretch winds up his career and dis
appears in glory Of birthstone, the
world SAYS, Gone to the Devil. hen,
If it knew things as they are, it would
saw, "A bandoned by the Devil to the
tender mercies of the Devils Under
taker,'" .-
Both of these pleasant gentlemen
laughed again, and quite heartily.
"Sometimes you are decidedly in
too much of hurry for your vic
Tins" said the first speaker. 81 have
great faith in the final efforts of q
| truly useful rogue. believe in Civ
| ing him plenty of rope" -.
cat ali events" said the Underts-
ker politely, 1--WE are perfectly agreed
in regard to our Brother Blaine.
Even your sanguine, trustfnl heart
cannot hope to get any more service
out of him. In'less than fifteen min
| utes shall take quiet satisfaction In
shaking him~on. Here he comes
now.''
"One moment with you, please,
Mr.. Blaine," said the Devil, stepping
| forward aud beck oning the ex-Speak.
er a little apart. The UndertRke er
followed, cheerfully jingling pair
of handouts in his pocket. ...
Mr.. Blaine turned white and then
red. and his voice trembled q little as
he said: "Well, sir, what is your
business with me 2" .-g
"To come at once to the point"
said the Devil, 81 hold here q docu-
ment containing an agreement, or
contract, or bond just as you please,
by which furnished you with abil-
ity, skill, pluck, wit. magnetic elo-
quence. audaclty even to impudence
lin short, with every qualification
needful to subserve ambition in At
tanning success. Here is your sigma
ture, you see, all regular and wit
messed by our mutual friend Hanni-
bal Hsmlin.
81 remember now," said Blaine,
quickly. "I had almost forgotten
your face. Haven't seen you, l be-
lieve, since l was member of the
old Maine legislature. How have
YOU been, old fellow? Come down to
dinner and bringyour friend. Should
like to have you meet Sam Ward"
"Thanks," said the Devil, "but it
will be impossible. Business is bust.
was consideration mentioned in the
bond"
81 do recall something of the kind,
stammered Blaine, nervously. "But,
Of course, you don't mean to -.
Pshsw! Why, was young theu, and
didn't understand the nature Of q
bond. was fraudulently induced to
sign the paper. l. besides, it's
outlawed."
cit is not outlawed," answe wered the
Devil, firmly. "Everything is legal
and regular, aud after mature delib
Grafton, l have determined to hand
you over to my Undertaken here"
The DEVILS Undertaken stepped up
with smile, and courteous nod to
Mr.. Blaine. a.
"But surely" continued Blaine
"you will not enforce the bond. .
think of my family, my friends, my
connections. Let them plead for me
, Try me little longer. l can still b,
) of service to you. I do not feel tia
shall be a deddhead in any enter.
} prise you may suggest. Isee variou!
channels IN aUhich 1 knOW I can b,
useful"
With a wave of his hand the Devi
referred this piteous petition to tn,
Undertaken.
cit is SO nominated in the bond ,
said the Undertaken. 81 must insist
upon a strict Interpretation of it's pro
5 visions"
"Let me retire into private life, in
to obscurity, into oblivion" urged til,
e1-Speaker.
"It will not do" said the Underta
/ ker. 81 remember coming here un
der similar circumstances just abou
four years ago. We were after Col
fax then. The poor wretch pleaded
) SO hard and wept so bitterly that
e against my better judgment, CAV
/ him up as corpse not worth tn,
, burying. How did he repay me
Went lecturing to Young Mem
Christian Associations! That is M,
last experimental in the merciful line
CAT least" said Blaine, in q appa
: rent despair, "you will allow me t,
> ; look over the bond. Give me fail
, play. There may be some flaw in th
phraseology,"
"My papers are always prett,
strongly drawn" said the Devil, witt
I smile "but have no objection t,
letting you satisfy yourseIf-provi
ded, OF course, you will give me you
word of honor as between gentlemen
5 that YOU will return the document.
"Certainly," said Blaine, IL Civ
e you my word"
4 The paper passed into Mr.. Blaine
D hands. He sat down OH the Capito
) steps, and read it sttsnt,vely, Will
: the Devil and the Devils Undertake
+; stood by, patiently waiting.
Then o sudden change came owe
Mr.. Blaine's countenance. He flusne,
to the roots of his hair with vIrtuou
, Indignation. He buitoned the bon,
in his inner breast pocket, and jump
ing to his feet exclaimed in all ex cite,
manner:
"What is this? An attempt to in
jure me with my own private papers
An invasion of the personal rights o
, an American citizen! Aneutrage o
= the inalienable privileges of ever
free born Republican, A dasiardI
attempt to blacken my reputation b
:. a perversion of my own hand writing
Never, never, shall | give up thi