The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-10-19
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

uc UFuptIC utulcS IlaG bdDDle-O0 was
founded by women.
Shoe leather is now made from stur.
geon's skins.
Young men of New York with gold.
en- locks are spoken of as brsss-headed
blondes.
The cane-carrying youth Of the period
is like printer, in that he can't get along
without his "stick."
Gold seems to have disappeared, and
silver has taken its place for an ornamental.
ton on all fashionable toilets.
Two San Francisco fools have been
having the same number of years about
three-eighths of an inch of ground.
-" I'm man of very quiet tastes, -
said he as he went behind the door and
tasted something.-N Y. Graphic.
1t takes $4,000, 900 to pay for the but.
tons which this country imports annually.
That comes of our having so many humor.
lists.
-Servia is the cat on the fence. She
doesn't want to come down and have a
truce with the Turkish big dog on the
ground.
The New York Graphic wants to see
an honest lightning rod man. 1t always
has some difficult job on hand. -Dstroit
Free Press.
A Deadwood City jury honorably
acquitted" murderer who killed man
whom he mistook for the one he intended
to kill.
-Don't hang over hot stove until the
weather really forces you to. Bodily ex-
ercise furnishes the only healthy heat
known to science.
An editor says: we have received a
basket of fine grapes from our frieno -.
for which he will please accept our com.
pliments. some of which are nearly an
inch in diameter
But two brief months ago and the
ice-man could command bow from the
most aristocratic citizen. To-day he sits
neglected and shivering on his box, a blue
nosed victim of human instability.
These are the days when boy saves
up his money to buy one of those delicious
looking ounces, and discovers too late
that ounce outside of preserves is about
as luscious eating as frozen crab-apple.
When the English language is amend
ed the word love will be spelled "l-u-v,"
and by that time all us fellows will be
married and won't care hopper whether
the word is in the language at all.-Detrott
Free Press.
Several negroes were pass ing through
the Berlin geological gardens, when the
African animals, especially the giraffes,
the lions and the elephants, became fran
tic and unmanageable, and the negroes
were hurried away.
~ am going to that circus if it takes
me ten years. remarked tramp at Little
Falls, N. Y, when the conductor put him
oil freight train on WHICH he was steal
ing ride toward the Centennial.-N. Y.
Commercial Advertiser.
IF didn't know it was YOU. I
wouldn't have thought it," said a Hiber
MAN to friend the other day, "for you
nave changed SO since knew you before
That o ,ly for you look *, much like your.
self. l wosltln't think it VAS von at ALL
Says the Danbury Ne,os: i" 1t was at
the funeral of the head of family. A
neighbor in the yard, while the service
was going on inside, was speaking of the
deceased, and took advantage of the OPP
portunity to observe in tones of subdued
sympathy: An had just got in his coal
and potatoes for the winter. 1t is sad
case"
We don't know how long Gen. New
ton. chief engineer Of the He'll Gate i'm
provement, has been married, but it must
be some time. When a.newspaper inter-
viewer asked him if he did not apprehend
danger from his proximity to the prepare
ton Of the explosives, he said: "No; I
feel easier here than I do at my home.''-
Danbury Neaos.
"A man, one-eighth negro, married q
white girl at Newport, having convinced
her that he was Spaniard. Upon learn
ing of the deception, she wished to be free.
A Rhode Island law declares the marriage
of white person to q negro or mulatto''
void, and upon that ground q lawyer is
trying to have this bond of wedlock
broken. The husband, however, answers
that he is not a mulatto, but an octoroon.
A toyman who had recently taken to
himself wife was exceedingly tender to
her in epithet; his frequent address to her
was " My lamb" One day a dirty-faced
little boy asked for q toy and the busy toy
man sale, My lamb, serve that boy,
please" The boy was served and sent
away, but soon returned to have his toy
changed. The toyman doubted whether
it had been bought at his shop, and asked,
"Who served you 9'' The lad replied, I'll
war the lamb, cir"
How the railway conductor adapts
himself to the people he meets was illus
trated to party recently visiting the Hoo
sac Tunnel. Judging by their appearance
and conversation that they were worthy Of
attention, the polite official said: IF
your party would like to view the opening
to the tunnel before we enter, I will stop
the train and give you an opportunity" A
grateful assent was given, and at the next
station one of the party walking forward
on the platform, heard the conductor adj
dress the engineer as follows: "Stop her
jest afore you go in, Bill; there is crowd
OF big bugs here that want tosee the hole"
Commercial Bulletin.
"A good story is being told of two
young misses, living at Murray Hill, who
went to the Centennial last week. They
were accompanied by their beaus; and, on
the grounds, they were so badly mixed in
the crowd that they exchanged their es-
corts. Miss 4. took Mr.. B., who belonged
to Miss c., and the latter took Mr.. D.,
who belonged to Miss A. They never met
again in Philadelphia; and, when they all
got back to this city, Miss A. liked Mr.. B.
so well that sue discarded Mr.. D, and the
latter liked her so well in return that he
discarded Miss G. So the net result Is
that Miss A. and Mr.. B. are engaged, and
the other pair hate each other, and their
respective rivals, and themselves, with an.
intensity Of hate only girls of eighteen can
understand. IN. i, Cor. Chicago 1rt.
6un1.