Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1876-07-14
WHOLE NO. 292.
FACT AND FANCY.

their orders are not obeyed.
The stoical scheme of supplying our wants
by looping off our desires, is like cutting off
our feet when we want shoes.
Two hundred and fifty women will be
graduated as telegraph operators this year
from Cooper Institute, New York.
When the young ladies hand you card
nowadays with the cabalistic letters Y. M.
q. A., it means "you may call again"
If your furs get worn down short, whip
them with forty rods, for forty rods is said
to make fur-long. Whitehall Times.
A gentleman has named two canaries
"Wheeler" and "Wilson." His reason for
this appellation is that neither of them arc
"SiDgers."
Irate landlady (warmly)-"Really, Sir,
this accounts been a running 80 long" -
Impecunious lodger (coolly)- Running, has
it Then perhaps it would be as well to let
it rest Bit"
DR.. Wander Weyde says frst-rate arti-
Gle of jelly can be made from old boots.
And almost any printing office can furnish
enough old boots to make barrel of that
sort of jelly.
A Western paper announces the illness of
its editor, adding: GAIL good paying subscri-
befs are requested to mention him in their
prayers. The others need not, as the pray
ers of the wicked avail nothing"
A cheeky party by the name of johnson
proposes to condense Dickens novels by re-
writing them and cutting out those parts
which he-the cheeky party named johnson
thinks are not worth reading.
Richard Grant White says there is no such
thing as "in our midst" but we would like
to know (says the Norwich Bulletin) where
he would locate the pain that makes pare
goric popular beverage among the young
A boy was apparently drowning in the
Mississippi, near Natchez. A playmate
swan bravely to his rescue, was attacked by
cramps, and drowned. The other boy swan
ashore, making no effort to save the dying
hero.
The Paris exhibition in 1878 will cover
Trocadero Heights and the Champ dc Mars,
aud these places, separated by the river, will
be connected by two bridges across the Seine.
Paris has voted $24,000,0OO for improve
ments.
Above the mass Of solid cement in which
is laid the coffin of Guibord has now been
placed mass Of granite 7 feet 10 inches
long 81 feet wide and I feet thick, inscribed
with his name and the dates of his death
and final interment.
A negro preacher, in transating to his
hearers the sentence, "The harvest is over,
the season is ended, and thy soul is not
saved" put it, "De corn has been cribbed,
dere amt any more work, and de debbil is
still foolin' wild dis community"
1t is said that the Pope, in his nice white
clothes, with his fresh, healthy face, hand
some hands, and thoroughly well-kept ap-
pearance, looks like hearty, fat baby, Just
out of the morning nursery toilet and the
white skull cap and silvery hair add to this
illusion.
"Hold your horse, Sr2" said red haired
boy to man who drove up in front of
house. "No," replied the man; III have a
boy here;' and he took a weight from the
cart and fastened it to the steed al meant,
hold him up" screamed the disappointed
youth as he ran off.
Rousseau says: "To write q good love
letter you ought to begin without knowing
what you mean to say, and to finish without
knowing what you have written" A great
many communications sent to the Herald
office must have been intended for love let
ters.-Norr. Herald.
Brewers show themselves friends of hu-
manity, by putting far less spirit in the liq-
uor they produce than distilers. Instead of
that they manifest high degree of public
spirit Vassar, the Poughkeepsie brewer,
built college for women. Bass, the great
English brewer, has just given $40, 900 for
library at Derby, England.
Some mistaken genius has invented a
pocket photograph apparatus. You meet a
woman who leases you; you draw out the
machine, and before she has time to be
astonished you have her likeness in your
pocket. A man operating with such an ap-
paratus is warranted to have an eye poked
out with parasol several times day
At one time Daniel Webster had diff.
cult case to plead, and verdict was re.
turned against his client. One of the wit
nesses came to him and said. "Mr Webster,
if thought we should have lost the case L
might have testified good deal more than l
did" at is of no consequence" replied
the lawyer; "the jury did not believe word
you said"
In speaking of gold carat signifies n
twenty-fourth part or in other words, carat
is name given to the fraction 1924, thus
gold Of % carats fine is gold of which %
oHt OF "A are pure, the other two parts being
silver, copper or other metals. The carat,
in speaking Of diamonds or other precious
stones, is weight of fractions less than
four grains troy, or "A l-l6 carats, being
equal to 72 grains troy.
The kicking propensities Of the mule are
certainly exaggerated. AS we write, far
mer over by the tObacco-barn is pulling one
around to his place in front of the wagon by
the tail What gentleness the faithful crea-
ture exhibits How meekly he submits to
the superior will of his master How-ah
by the way, the man is evidently an accom-.
plished acrobat-that doublesomerset he
threw over the wagon was very skilfully
executed, indeed.-Franklim Ky Patriot.
Blondin, the tight-rope performer, is Wis
iting San Francisco, and it is said that he
purposes taking up his future residence in
that city. lie has met there a rival in one
"Signor" O'Mulcahy, who is now in training
for feat which promises to eclipse anything
Blondin has ever done. In consists in dane
ing hornpipe on a tight.rope stretched at
distance of II from from the ground, with
a rope around his neck, the other end of
which will be fastened to the limb of stout
oak tree, so that slip of the foot will be
likely to strangle him.
The Nevada miners are mainly Cornish
men and IrishmeD, about equally divided,
and between them there is constant feud.
The latter are Catholics, while the exiles
from Cornwall are Protestants. They fight
often, but not in the mines, as the law of
Nevada fixes fine of $500 for the offence
of fOhIin0 nnharnrnnnd The rnnann a..