Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-03-24
WHOLE NO. 555.
G1eanings.
The best kind Of school. ol.tax-syntax.

|
A boarding establishments carpes
ter's shop.
How to raise beets-take hold of the
tops and pull.
When the spider left the ark, did he
walk or take fly.
The male cricket chirps, while the fe-
male works in silence. WomGns' Jour-
noI please copy.
A woman weighing 1884 pounds died OF
suffocation from excessive fat at Stafford
Mass. recently.
Why is selfish friend like the letter P?
Because, though he is the first IN pity, he
is the last in help.
All Pin is the Chinese Minister to the
United States, but it is not stated what
kind of an All Pin he is.
Prosperity is great teacher, adversely
a greater Possession pampers the mind;
privation trains and strengthens it.
'I'm married pow," was the excuse a
Chicago youth gave florist for not buy
ing as many boquets as in former years.
The head cook at one of the Boston
clubs draws a salary of S. 900 and never
puts his delicate hands to pot or kettle.
At Board of Trade meeting last week,
a member arose and gravely observed
that he wished to make few curse-ory
remarks on dams.
Professor Tice informs us that 21 1,00G
will ho another
winter just like this one. How enticing
for a man to live on.
Halr-splitting piety. The Jersey City
BARRIERS have resolved to stop hair-cutting
on Sundays, but will continue to shave
their customers as usual
She asked him if her new dress wasn't
as sweet as a spring rose, and the brute
said it was, even to the minor attraction
of still having little due on it.
Hereafter the United States Senate is to
be allowed only three boquets per diem
from the Government garden, and the
House of Representatives but seven.
A negro was scalded to death from
boiler explosion in New Orleans last week,
and on his tombstone they chiselled deep
ly, Sacred TO the memory Of our steam
ed friend"
The City of Richmond Qnman Line)
has made another extraordinary passage
across tile Atlantic, accomplishing the
journey in eight days, nine hours, and
fourteen minutes.
A New York temperance lecturer says
one of the chief causes of the present
| financial depression is alcoholic indul-
gencc. The Boston Post asks: Does he
mean to say that money is ''hght?"
The last words of the San Jose Adver-
tiser were: "We entered the journalistic
| field on business proposition. and on the
same proposition we leave it. We
know when it is time to die, and we are
! dead"
Call that a kind MANI" said an actor,
sneaking Of an acquaintance, "a man
who is away from his family and never
sends them farthing? Call that kind
ness?" Yes; unremitting Kindness"
Jerrold replied.
A young printer having occasion the
other day to set up the well known line
DIGNC hd'C SCt NY iiiC uPOn u Saot.
astonished the proof reader with the fol-
lowing version: ''Slave l have set my
wife upon cask."
Some careful and deep thinking stu
dent has discovered that the word debt
is composed of the initials of dun
everybody twice" C-r-e-d- 1T is formed
of the initial letters of Call regular
every day; I'll trust"
The owner of pair of bright eyes as
sures US that the prettiest compliment she
ever received came from child of four
years The little fellow, after looking
intently at her for a moment, inquired
naively. "Are your eyes new oness"
If your name Is John Jacob Smith,
and you go to an Eastern college, they
Immediately put you down in the cata-
logue as Iohnerem Iacebus Smithiorium.
Is it any wonder that young man feels
stuck up under such circumstances?
Willie was saying his usual prayer at
his mothers knee at bedtime, and having
| got as far as "If / should die before !
wake" hesitated "Well, what next?"
asked his mother. "Why, mamma, sup
pose the next thing would be funeral"
A Frenchman who has lived in Ameri-
ca for some years says: "When they
build railroad, the first thing they do is
to break ground. This is done with
great ceremony. Then they break the
stockholders. This is done without
ceremony.
A father, fearing one of Prof Tees
earthquakes in the region of his home,
sent his two boys to the house of a friend
until the storm should be passed, A few
weeks afterward the father received this
letter from his friend: please take your
boys home and send down the earth
quake"
May Day and Christmas Day all occur
this year ON Monday. Independence
Day comes on Tuesday. The old
proverb goes: Monday for health,
Tuesday for wealth." so that the days
augur well for lovers. fools, maidens,
poor people and the second century of
American independence.
The long-sought for Planchas de Ia
Platas Mine worked century or two ago
by the early Spanish explorers, has been
found about ninety miles southeast of
Tucson, Cal. , near the Sonora line. This
is the mine which Spanish history says
yielded pure silver IN such large pieces
that the Government conhscated it for the
use of the crown The mine has been
promptly secured by Gov. Sanford,
a lawyer from the country once en-
tered the Court of Appeals while Daniel
Lord, Jr., of New York, was arguing
case, and inquired of Mr.. Charles
O'Conor, who was sitting near by. who
that was addressing the Court" Mr..
O'Conor, whose feelings must have been
nettled by the course of the argument, re-
piled: THAT is Daniel Lord, Jr: and he
puts the Junior after his name so he may
not be taken for the Almighty"
4, young ladies have the privilege Of
saying anything they please during leap,
year." she said, eyeing him out of the
corner of her eyes with sweet look.
His heart gave great bound, and, while
he wondered If she was going to ask the
question which he had so long desired
and feared to do, he answered, "Yes."
''And the young men must not refuse"
said she. mo, no! How could theys"
sighed he. well them" said she, Twill
you" He fell on his knees and said:
Anything you ask. darling" "Wait