The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1876-04-26
Items Of Interest.

- Items of Interest.
A person who has seen trouble ought
to know exactly how it looks. -
A iudicious nurse is worth as much In
the sick chamber as skillful physician.
Cream colored chip hats, trimmed
with strawberries, are in the fashionable
future. ........ .... .,....--...
The author of the saying, "You must
always take man as you find him, 4" was
q constable. u
| A sign of rpring-A woman with her
dress burned up, q brush. in her hand,
mischief in her eye, and spiotcnes .of
whitewssh:: ::on;hersface.
The Kentucky Legislature hss passed
bill taxing all dogs over three years OF
age So each. Dogs refusing to give
their ages will be dealt with summary.
Never name child or town after q
man until he hes been dead century or
60. The people Of Belknap, Iowa, are
wanting to change the cognomen OF
their village.
A witty prelate was asked II he did
not think that such one followed his
conscience. =" Yes," said his grace, :"
think he follows it.:as man does horse
inIa gig-he drives it frs" 50
A convicted murderer in Nebraska is
likely to get new trial, because, after
the case had gone to trial, one of the
Jurors offered to bet two dollars that the
prisoner would he convicted.
Last year the following nations sent,
the United States contributions Of cih.
zens in the order of numerical import
ance: Germany, England, Ireland,
Canada, China, France, Rusaia.
Before leaving sleeping apartment IN
the morning, says DR.. W. W. Hall,
throw each article Of bed covering over
the back OF a.chair. or the foot. board,
and hoist the window, If the weather is
not rainyI , .-a;'
An exchange prints specimens OF Walt
Whitman's forthcoming book on poetry,
It is like all his other poetry,
don't rhyme wortha eent-unless you
would call "purple" and "smokestack =
good rhyme. =
California wheat in the straw six feet
| in length, corn ten or twelve feet, and
several species Of cactus thirty feet in
height, will be sent to the Centennial
Mustard stalks eighteen feet high will
not be exhibited.
"Minnie has been to see me to-day"
said q little H7e-year-old, "and she be-
haved like little lady" Z" I hope you
did, too," said her mother. " Yes, IN
deed. I did; I turned somersaults for
her on my bed.'
Emerson advises unknown poets to.
publish their verses, If they must see
their work in print, in the poets corner
of the county newspaper. The county
newspaper will have something to say
about that, Mr.. e.
A foot Of water settled in q cellar, land
in the evening when the m&n OF the
house went down in the dark after pan
of apples, without his boots on, he said
things which we would not print for
seventeen dollars. $50
A horse balked and resisted ali efforts
to move him until an insurance agent
came along and began TO talk.to him,
when he started and went of with The
enthusiasm of man on bis way to the
funeral Of a rich aunt.
An old Scotch lady gave a pointed re-
ply to minister who knew he had OF.
Tended her, and expressed surprise that
she should comeso regularly to hear hum
preach. She said: "My quarrels w
you, man. It's not wi the gospel"
At the eighteenth annual meeting OF
the grand lodge of Good Temphrs OF
Massachusetts, held at Worcester,
membership Of 13, ,139 in 189 lodges was
1eported, being loss during the year
of 1886 members and eleven lodges. "7'
Wishing to pay his friend a compi-
ment, a gentlemen remarked: "l hear
YOU have a very industrious wife"
"Yes, " replied the friend, with Q melan-
choly smile, "she's never idle. She's
always finding something for me to do
OF the two hundred and nineteen mil
lions of dollars Of gold and silver alanu-
ally produced, nine-tenths are exported
to the East to pay for tea, coffee, sugar,
spices, silk, tin, dyestuffs and other
Oriental products] consumed BY Europe
and America. a.. !sa9:..
Hugo Arnot, one day, while painting
with asthma, was almost deafened py
the noise of brawling fellow who was
selling oysters below his window. 'eIhe
extravagant rascal" said Hugo,st stshe:.has
wasred as much breath as would have
served me for month ..,..,..- -.
Some of our merchants are reported
as making q specially Of line OF call
Goes which are remarkably cheap: Ihats
where they make mistake. II they
were only a little higher priced than
ANYTHING else every lady in the land
| would want some of them.
A loaferish young Californian married
servant girl, andafte day or two de-
serted her. Three months OF dissipa-
tion in San Francisco killed him; but
before his death his mother died, leaving
to him, as her only heir, about $50, 600.
Thus the girl gets fortune. - e,
Breathes there man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,'
Roth for NV own and children's sake3
II such there be let him repent
And have this paper to him sent.
"Eliza," said clergyman to one OF
his parishioners, whom he saw with her
hair in curling papers, if God had de-
signed your hair to curl he would have
cnrled It for you" "He did, sir, when
I was child" was the reply; "but He
thinks now 7 am old enough to do it
myself"
An Englishman has analyzed the
causes of railroad accidents, and comes
to the conclusion that human machinery
is responsible for forty-one per cent. OF
them defective signals for twenty
eight per cent. ; defective roadway for
eighteen per cent. and defective roll
ine stock for thirteen per cent.
A fellow was doubling whether or not
he should volunteer to fight. One OF
the flags waving before his eyes, bearing
the inscription "Viotory or DEATH"
Somewhat troubled and discouraged him.
"Victory is a good thing" said he,
"but why put it victory or deaths just
put il victory or crippled. and III go for
thatp
BE groaned in his sleep, and his wife
arose to light the lamp. he beheld