Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1876-09-15
FACT AND FANCY.

you bring it with youH"
1t has been ascertained that large organ
ization of beggars exists in New York, pre-
sided over by a woman, and having a treas
urer and secretary.
A Saratoga correspondent wants to bet
that there is more love made to the square
inch in Saratoga, during the season, than at
any other place in the country.
There are four good mothers who have four
bad daughters Truth hath hatred; pros
perty hath pride security hath peril and
familiarity hath contempt.
A cute young wife says "When | want
nice snug day all to myself l tell George
dear mother is coming, and then see moth
ing of him until one in the morning"
The Norwich Bulletin says, "a woman
who makes practice of borrowing quart
of milk usually makes pint of returning
it,"
A Western girl visited music store and
asked for "The Heart Boiled Down with
Grease and Care" and "When L Swallowed
Homemade Pies" The clerk at once rec
oguized what she desired.
A West Virginia editor laments the fail
ure of the frankling privilege scheme thusy:
ave used to get from seven to ten cents
pound for Congressional speeches and Patent
Office reports"
A Wisconsin schoo-teacher had revenge
when the board cut her salary down. She
licked every scholar in school, destroyed four
maps, carried off the keys, and in the lawsuit
which followed she beat the board sky
high.
There is q band of Sioux Indians exhibit
ing in London. There is another band of
them out West which is not exhibiting itself
so much as would be desirable. 1t is engin-
eered by Sitting Bull.
"I make it point, madam, to study my
own mind, said gentleman to lady who
had exhibited some surprise at an opinion he
had expressed. "Indeed," she replied, 81
didn't suppose you understood the use Of the
microscope"
A man in Buffalo pulled off his coat and
jumped into the canal to save woman from
drowning, when pickpocket stole his pocket
book from his coat, and the woman swore at
him for pulling her hair in his efforts to save
her life There isn't much inducement in
|
Some unkind ndividual-possibly a delin-
quent subscriber-sent box full of wasps
to the editor of the Milton IN. C) Chroni-
Gle lately, and those lively insects took CON-
plete possession of the office, driving out
editor, printers and pressmen, and the pub
LEGATION of the paper was delayed a whole
day in consequence.
He bought cheap coat. and he observed
next day that it was made of two kinds of
cloth, or else it had faded from some pre-
vious wear or tear. He went to the dealer
with fire in his eyes, The dealer looked at
the garment with out surprise, and at the
wearer with extreme wonder. Ivy, mine
gootness !" he said, "you been wear de
goat in de sun? You dink him, maat of
sheet iron, hey"
1t is the practice of many farmers to allow
ripe potatoes to remain in the ground for
weeks, in order to prevent decay. The prac-
tice is wrong one undoubtedly. If the
tubers are ripe, they had better be dug and
stored at once A few years ago, the secre-
tary Of our board harvested o hundred bush
els in August, and found them sound at all
times till plan ting. o. adams, Secretary
Ne'o Hampshire Board Of agriculture.
"Ticket, sir" said the conductor. 81
pass" said the gentlemanly beat. "On ,ithe
contrary, order you up" replied the knight
Of the punch 81 assist remarked the
stalwart brakeman, as he rolled up his
sleeves. "Well, then, make it sdiamonds,"
said the beat in tone Of mingled sadness
and sarcasm as he reluctantly handed over
the fare and pointed to the conductors cor
uscating bosom.
The hair of woman nearly 90, who died
on Marthas Vineyard, recently was wholly
woven in with false hair, which had not
been removed for over 80 years, and was
held in place by $50 pins. One article of
her dress was held together by 3OS pins,
though her bureaus contained SO new dress
patterns of all kinds and qualities, some of
them bought 64 years ago and one elegant
! brocade silk could be traced back 200 years.
Talk about the diversity of American in.
dustry. A young lady in Kingston, N. j.,
has set up as house painter; two boys are
hunting for diamond ring in the sand at
Charlotte, N. T.; man near Baltimore is
raising millions of leeches; the sportsmen at
Oshkosh, Wis, are fishing for sea.liou
man in Troy is at work upon patent en-
cry sieve; the Connecticut farmers are fat
. tsuing turkeys on potato.bugs the Black
Hills miners have introduced new game of
!, cards with eight knaves to a suit a Nevada
/, husband has discovered a subtitle poison for
the determination Of mother-in.law.
n "There was Kerry priest" began Ned
Shea, can he had the fashion of hearin' con-
t iessions wild a slate an pencil; an he'd
!. write down every sin, an the price of it op-
a poste. Well, one day a big mountainy fell
3 low came to his duty, an says he, Il bruk a
q mans head last Hallow-eve' That's nine
i pence, says the priest. Il cut the tail ov
v Larry Kelly's cow That's a shilln'; oh,
!. begob, shllin' that is = and down it went
v on the slate. Il murthered me wife twice.
!. That's thruppence 60 on Il kilt an Or
le angeman.' 'Whoo says the priest, rubin
D, out everything, that clanes out all the rest
e As long funeral procession was vending
! its way, few days since, to cemetry near
y Davenport, Iowa, the driver Of carriage
p gave haystack by the road a cut with his
d whip, and struck hornets nest. Hundred:
It of hornets swarmed out of the stack, aud
y, attacked horses, drivers, aud mourners
e Horses reared and broke into a run; women
welded fans and parasols and shrieked in
termittently; men swung their handkerchief;
It's and swore consistently. Indeed (says the
person who described the scene) the corpse
g. was the only party that kept his temper ant
or bore in mind the soemnity Of the occasion
of A Detroit woman endeavored to gain en-
he trance to tent show for 25 cents, but the
rs keeper demanded 25 more. She de-
w bated the matter at length, but to no pur
ss pose Finally she offered 32 cents, which
n. was declined. She went over to stand anC
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