The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-02-17
WHOLE NO. 1900.
MisceIlaneous


The hardest Kind Of shasm TO SET over
-iarcaam.
mIan't an aim without a name synony.
nous with an ominoua Anonymouaf
Kansas keeps nobly IN the van Of civ.
iliEation. Her State treasurer 10 IN jail.
Elihu Burritl can drive q flrEnFe dog
out Of bis yard In thirty.thrto languages.
The extreme height Of misery 10
small boy with a new pair Of rubber boots
and no mud or alush In reach.
Don't marry until you can support
husband That's the advice tho Barn
stable Patriot gives the Cape girls.
An Engliah woman advcrtisoa herself
a. corn-cutter 20 the royal family. She
practices on "the light fantastic toe
Itsa thin excuse Tor a young lady 10
lie abed until nine o'clock In The morn.
ing because this is sleep year Norris
town Herald
A NcWtown man fayors the presence
Of the album In the public schools. lie
writes us that "tho holcy book must 30
kept in the skools AZ eny cost
A jawbono sixteen feet long L 70 be
exhibited az tho Centennial by Maaaa.
chuaetta Put u In the Woman's De.
partment. by all mcana-lN. Y. Cots.
mcreial Advertiser.
The editor who was told that his last
article was a. clear a. mud, promptly re-
piled, We'll, that covers the ground.
anyhow"
Charles l. mad because they have stuck
lamp post on hts corner Says itn none
Of the towns biz what time he comes
home nights.
II you see a man with big diamond
on his hhirtfront, have him arrested it
may not DO Tweed, but Il viii serve him
right anyway.-lAlta California.
A Texan banking firm Al Fall River
has suspended. The rumor il that a cat
tic drover passed a bad ten-doliar bin on
them.-[New York Telegram
A breed Of dogs without tails has been
discovered In Africa. aud how the mia.
chievous boys there utilize old Tin kettles
and fruit cans. We cannot pretend 10 say.
The Sandwich Islands are going 70
adopt a new flag but they can't decide
whether 20 take gray horse blanket with
hole In u. or an old vest with the back
ripped out.
Before his marriage. Broughnc praised
the artistic manner IN which his wife
banged her hair Now he complains
Of the cruel manner In which she bangs
his head. -
Affected with mental arrangement
incident 20 his employment In a brew
cry, u the San Francisco Calls deacrip-
tion OF a man who lcaped from 9Th
story window.
Tho President has no ear FOR music.
and tho carelessncss with which he used
10 take Babcock'a Autc 20 rake the Ere
with was a constant menace 10 their
friendship.-L Brooklyn Argus.
Mrs. Edwards. Of streater. III. while
slicing bread the other day cut of tho
end Of her babys nose. but n doctor
pasted u on again. and that, We trust,
will be "the end ont"
A gentleman rode up 10 a public house
in the country and asked Who u the
master Of this houseY' n am. sir. re-
piled the landlord my wife has been
dead about three weeks
A Hartford man wants 10 sell a farm
In which "meandering streams and rivu.
lets pcrmeato luKuriAnt pasture. while
majeetic oaks and stately naples attract
the eyes Of the bcholder." Who bidal
Detroit policemen don't seem 10 be
very good marksmcn. Il want you eth.
cr 10 hit me or stop making such =
blamed racket" said thief In that city.
Al whom a policeman was shooting
IA was Ben. FRANKLIN who introduced
broom corn culture into thIs country
But thousands Of suffering husbands
would prefer to see the man who intro.
duccd broom handlcs.-l Norristown Her.
aid.
Mrs. Amy RiFF advcrtisea in Texas
paper that she i able 10 whip either one
Of tho two women she saw walking on
her husbands arm a few nights before.
What an Amy able woman she must be.
ch7
Horace Grceley's advice 10 60 weat'
was a glaring awindlo The fact that the
Indians have been living West all their
lives and arc atill poor, with scarcely
enough clothes 10 hide their nudity.
proves this.
At Hawkinsyille. Ga. recently. one of
the two convicta In the Pulaaki county
jail tore out part Of the wall and escaped.
and tho other complained bitterly next
day 10 the Sheriff that unless the walls
were mended 20 that he would Be kept
warm he'd 50 too.
Ned and Zack arc sad topcrs-bcon
sad since 4th o July last Ned told
Zack his nose was the last rose Of sum
mor Jack rctortcd. faint blooming
alone" They ict a deal Of ground
plowcd up, and both noses are poultieed.
A few days since a man convicted Of
drunkenness stood up before bis honor
AZ the police court. aud his honor said.
In his slow. solemn way. "Ill give $40 or
thirty days" well, III take the go.
squire" said tho fellow.
A simple looking country lad, 10 whose
lot fell the leading questions in the cate
chism. What IL your nnmef replied,
"Carrotsi' Who gave you that name 2
"Ali the boys Ia the parish. sir. whin.
ingly replied the redhaircd urchin.
An exchange astutcly remarks Boss
Tweed has escaped from justice" IL
Boss Tweed desired 10 escape from jus
tiee. he should have stayed ia New York.
Outside Of that city he i likely 10 run
into her arms AZ any time panbury
News
This is the kind Of weather when a
man sees his wife coming into tho room
with a acuttle Of coal. and. after she has
.--..-.-l .nnr.- La nL N LuLn Lhn ION nI Lhn