National Republican., 1876-12-23
CURIosrrY SHOP.

The man who wears gums shoe has no
music In his sole.
{ Yale notice--"Professor Ssrdonicus
lectures on sFootbalr to-day. Recitations in
Mace on Pugilism postponed till ten tomorrow"
Five hundred end seventy Baltimore
sppssis for mercy are answered Dy a stab in the
3 -"The modern cook stove is approach
ing degree of perfection which Will require a
competent engineer with stated salary to
Wealth may not always bring happi-
ness, but 1t prevents Connecticut cabbages from
obtaining exclusive possession Of the tobacco
market.
1.-THE ihoneysuckle stands No. 1 on
the list OF vines" says an horticultural friend.
On the same principle, we suppose the " stands
No. 4, don't lit
The New York papers tell OF man,
who was dangerously stabbed in the Twelfth
ward" That blow must have struck him fright
"A Kentucky doctor named Boyle
knows how It feels to be chloroformed aud robbed.
It makes him mad to think q bungIing hired
man did the deed. 80
I'm Russia cofflns covered with pink
cloth are used for children and young unmarried
Black is In no case employed.
Think of 1t: When vice is the result
Of poverty, the poor should be restored to virtue
by being led back to the dtvergfng road where
vice and virtue parted company.
Most men have been SO busy helping
the nation into its present embarrassments that
the mortality from foolIng around mules hind
leg this season has sensibly diminished
There is this peculisrity about the
Cincinnati girl: II young man surprises her
when her face Is smeared with molasses she won't
throw her apron over her head and yell.
The Brooklyn One Legged Club will
give its annual ball shortly, and q cotemporary
thinks it should be called its annual hop. It
promises to be very lame affair, anyhow.
+, "A Syracuse man attempted to commit
suicide the other day by eating two boxes OF
matches. He was as mad as blazes, too, when q
doctor brought him to with q stomach pump.
There were just eleven thousand
seven hundred and ftty-nine ladies out Christ
mas shopping yesterday, and all but six Of them
went home with mysterious package or two.
;. -sSkty dsrkies have enlisted in At.
lsnts Ga, to fight the Indians, and local paper
eopgratulates them on their superior fitness for
That business, az they won't scalp worth cent"
"A Michigan boy filled the family
motker had the toothache, she Resolved, That
drugfi;t that viii cheat that way ought to be
When a Russian gets drunk he be-
comes goodnatured.-Herald p. l. man. If We
catch your meaning, real rushin' drunk would
word dit. s., = :
s-Whisky left in Q cask for seven years
will lose irs fusil OIL and q critic says that
less than seven years old should be consumed
the consideration Of which should consume
another seven years.
There Ii man in st. Louis who claims
that all he has to do to foresse the future Ia to get
Eood and drunk This looks improbable. How
terfes Of the horoscopeT -.
|, Nobody knew that Indiana had phi
lanthropist until one Mr.. Peck died the other
day and scattered s5oo,ooo around. The Indi.
snians now say, "Gtve us measures, not men,"
% when q man goes home after midnight
and tenders his wife q box Of fried oysters as Q
peace offering. the "fry" does not always prevent
before he sets nin into SeS gets into
Prof Swing says that q hat won at q
fafne. "comes down over the eyes OF the
wearer's SOUL" II this be the case IL is more
than probable that q pair Of raffed boots would
cover the wearer up to his spiritual waist.
e-"Charles," said she sharply, as they
passed lonesome corner last night, ado you
want me to come out Of this sleigh ride with my
hat looking as though 1t had been run over BY an
omnfbus?" And yet he didn't seem to care.
The = only sure cure for sneezing Is to
Nov Nov when young man is walking out with his
girl and she Is seized with sudden 1T of snsez-
ing, he will know what to debut he had better
not do it.
"A ultlt UOy IN OprlnButlu, masS.,
after his customary evening prayer, night or
two ago, Continued, sand bless mamma and
Jenny and Uncle Benny" adding, after q mo-
mspt,s pause, the explanatory remark, "his name
The telegraph has lost track of Dom
Pedro. He disappeared around the corner Of one
OF the pyramids, and tipped over the edge Of the
distant horizon, the meantime taking notes on
ths quality Of the soil and the lay Of the country
for his new book. ..-
-Post- Office scene in Hades: Ansuias to
demon at the aelivery-.I say, Anthracite,
what's the reason my New York Timer hasn't
been bulldozing the train. You can't expect ths
malls to be regular in times like these"
"A number Of young ladies Of Potts
vile. Pa, have formed an association for mend.
the and
and each member should have no difficulty In
getting good husband, leap year or no leap
year. ~.
He was the son of bishop, and had
been carefully educated, but he had his wild oats
to sow, nevertheless, and when the old man
sharply asked him how long he thought the door
Of salvation would stand open he said he couldn't
tell, but he didn't want TO be jerked over the
threshold.
The frost flowers bloomed in the win.
dow panes in all their beauty yesterday morning,
but their loveliness was dispeled as soon as the
sunshine came, and the girls nattened their
warm noses against the beautiful formations as
they peered out to see who had come to take the
next-door girl out riding.
Freedman (talking rhetoric to senior,
who prides himself on his literary productions)-
"Chum, I'd like to make q quotation from one of
your essays" Senior (delighted)-"Whicho one
do you want2" Freshman with a twinkle in his
eye)-"Oh, any one will do. The professor wants
us 70 give an example OF lack of unity"
"A new industry has just been started
in Hancock county, Me.-extracting tannin from
sweet fern. That may be new thing in Maine,
but many's the time when we were boy that we
extracted an excellent article of tannin' from
apple switches, skate straps bits of lath, or most
any little piece Of bouterie handy to the old gen.
tie mans reach.