Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-04-27
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Creatures of the yassed"--dead.
neads.
| An hypothecary shop-The pawn.
brokers'.
"A sign of spring" Wkitewashing
done TO order" -
Moss Presidential candidates., they
say, suffer from Rumortism 81
What miserable pieces of Mecca -nism
those Persian pilgrim ships must be!
When does an editor play q singular
trick with GRAMMAR When he declines
an article.
The man who popped the question by
starlight got his sweethearts consent in
,winkling.
When Young man cannot live, On his
esSn salary, the usual way is for him to
live on the salary at some one else.
The water in the Worcester reservoir
was only keeping up with the spirit Of
the age in seeking ~ larger field of useful
ness.
There are tifty.twc different kinds Of
spectacles in market, and yet people say
they cant see it, jusstas much as they
used to.
The Boston Post don't believe that any
man ever caught cold from taking his haS
of to a lady. Still, aabald headed man
will hesitate.
None of the maplssugar cakes for
this year have 1876" on them rs eggs
laid by patriotic hens have. This Is ba.
cause maple sugar, like igures, wont lie-
Boston has Brains Club from
which men are excluded 1t is called the
Brains Club" supposedly, just as State
Is called Indiana" because there are na
Indians in it.
Susan Anthony undertakes, in sim
gle lecture, 10 enumerate What Woman
Wants" She could save nine -tenths of
the time by simply stating what she does't
want.-Chicago Post.
1t is believed that Winslows sister.in-
law had concealed on her person tha
money he took with him, from Boston.
Under the provisions of the treaty sha
could not be searched.
The Rhode Island Legislature has.
passed resolution proposing an amend.
ment to the Constitution extending the
right of suffrage to honorably. discharged
soldiers and sailors of foreign birth
-Breathes there msn with soul so dead,
Who never TO himself hath said,
will a family paper take,
Both for my own aud chdreh's sakef
III such there 90 let him repDnt ~
And have this paper to him sent.
Worcester now sees how that reser-
voir disaster could have been prevented.
Five feet more of earth all around would
have made things safe. And, il the reser-
voir hadn't been there nothing would have
happened.
Sioux City, Iowa, is the only place
where the late eclipse was visible any to-
speak OF, and the inhabitants there are so
"stuck up" that letters ara never opened
which don't have the esquire" written
out in full
49," Any childrenS" asked wall eyed
woman with thin lips, yesterday, rs she
was showing some furnished rooms to a
fat, comfortable looking woman. " Yes"
replied the tat, comfortable, looking
woman, but OF course, If you object to
them / can drown them"
AS a young shaver Of five or nix years
was reading at school one day, he came
upon the passage: " Keep thy tongue from
evil and thv lips from guile" Master
Hopeful drawled out: Keep-thy--
tongue -- from -- evil -- and 49, thy-lips--
from girls"
A HobUSen undertaken couldn't pay
his board, and his Iandlady attached nine
collins, and this isn't the first instance on
record where "a woman has shown an at.
tachment for coffin, especially the
woman has been young and the collin has
contained rich old husband. 81. LoSts
RtpUbttcan. t..n f.
Mrs. Logroller, whose husband is .
delegate to political convention, grins
der isively at reading that the delegates
have been instructed Heap o. good
it'll do 10 instruct old Logrollerr' she
SAYS: 1--WE been instructin' the pig-head-
ed old fool for years, and he cant buy 4
yard OF calico with any sense yet."-!Sk.
L0uis Republican.
1T was In New Jersey Sunday
school. The Superintendent approached
a youth Of color who was present for tho
first time, and inquired his name tor tho
purpose of placing IL on the roll. The
good man tried In vain TO preserve his
dignity when the answer was returned
" Wei, massa calls me Cap'p, lut my
maiden name Is Moses"
"A hasty spirit brought bitter woe
upon Montreal widow the other day.
Her intended husband offered her his
hand as they were about To take their
places for the marriage ceremony, say
In, MAY / lead your" A sharp glitter
came into the woman's eyes Us she an
swered. "Yes; for the last time" Good.
by" said the man as he walked out OF
the front door.
Having hanged Mcconnell, the MUIR
derer, the Canadians are fast coming to
the conclusion that he really was insane.
An autopsy revealed the fact that his
skull had actually been frnciurcd as
testified TO on the trial. and portions Of the
brsii near the fracture were found In
djs,ascd condition. This state Of affairs
hy1 impressed the community unpleasant
n, but not much more so than The remark
made by Mcconnell on the scafiold that
hc hoped the fate OF his victim would
prove " warning TO landlords, :" the
quarrel In which The fatal blow was
struck having been about rem. --Uetroa
Free Pres.
If man has not firm nerves, and
has keen sensibility, LIS perhaps wise
economy to go 10 a/f0od shop und dress
himself irrcproaclhbly. He can then dis
miss all care from his mind, an may
easily find that performance an addition
OF oontidence,a fertilization that turns the
scalcin social encounter, and allows him
10 go sayly into conl creations where else
he had Jcen dry and embarrassed. ! am
MT iVnUlapt--I have heard with admir-.