, 1876-03-24
Detroit Currency.
From the Free Press.

but wait till your theater takes fire.
A dog census of Georgia shows 351 $50
dogs and some got away from the census
takers besides.
\ wife at Xenia, Ohio, offered her hus-
band a divorce if he would buy her a
seal-skin cloak.
A Georgian paper wants to know If
"poker" is part of what is called "a
liberal education"
The Rev Collyer says that there is a
good deal of Christianity in keeping ones
sidewalk clear of snow.
He lay in his little bed in Northern In
diana. He read his little novel. He
smoked his little pipe. There was little
left of him.
Washington ladies pawn their diamonds
to raise money to give parties, and then
borrow of the guests money to raise the
diamonds.
The attempt to rob Dom Piatt of $25,
900 worth of diamonds was a failure.
When a man hasn't got any diamonds how
can you rob him of them.
As long as Mckee says he didn't know
ANYTHING about the "crooked," what's the
use of sending him to prisonl Can't they
take an editors word for itl
A New York doctor worked four hours
to resuscitate a man who had been
drowned four days. He thought the de-
ceased had just fallen into the river.
Boston is alarmed over "a regularly
organized band of cannibals, having a
President, Vice President, etc." May be
her Common Council. Who knows?
1t is noticed that since the cars were
running on the New York elevated rail
way women have their chamber work
done up much earlier in the morning.
Seventeen dogs follow Abraham Joyce
of Indiana, to the woods when he goes
out to hunt, yet that man spends hall
his time blowing about high taxation.
Prof Tee won't let any reporter who
parts his hair in the middle interview
him. In the first place, what villain Of
an editor would employ such reporter
When a man earning a salary of fifteen
dollars per week can dress his wife as
well as a man earning $4,000 per yeal
what's the use of earning $4,000 pei
year2
The bank which receives deposits up
to five minutes before failing is an enter.
prising bank, but as much as Americans
love enterprise they don't appreciate such
things.
Some of the Chicago thieves are mean
enough to leave the gas burning when
they decamp. If they'd only take the
silverware and turn out the gas a mar
could stand it.
Californians look into back yards, and
when they see clothes lines covered with
stockings and shirts they sigh and pass
on. They see that such girl would bt
too ornamental.
A Washington physician argues thst
love proceeds from the stomach, and
that the heart has nothing to do with
it. He says that corn-beof and mealy
potatoes beget love.
Half of these crooked whisky fellows
take on dreadfully about being sent to
prison, tragically crying out: "Too much
too much" 1t is a good thing to
think of these things beforehand.
After man has had his noze frozen al
the summit of Mount Washington you
might writer for 9 thousand years of the
gorgeous beauties of a sunset when
viewed from that spot and you couldn'i
move him. u
"Quite respectable" according to the
spicy EUenfng Republican, of St. Louis
means "two aldermen, a member of the
whisky ring, Judge of the Circuit
Court, theatrical manager and a three.
card monte man."
While the Babcock affair and the
Bowen matter have kept most men busy
rejecting and pondering, a citizen Of
Chicago has counted eight hundred and
sixty-seven front gates in that town
which need repaiIA.
An Englishman who has visited Flor.
ence says that twenty cents will hire q
resident Of that city to swear to a $500
lie on the witness stand. We have otter
presented figures showing that it il
cheaper to live abroad than at home.
A great many foreign counts have
visited Chicago, and the Chicago Journa
has met them, and its opinion Is given il
two lines and a-half, viz: MANY a mar
who would fail as street car conductor
could take hold and make a first-clasl
foreign count.
After two Arkansas farmers had squan
dered 81 ,120 on the lawyers in trying t.
find out who owned an old cart, the,
commenced shooting, and five cents
worth of ammunition brought satisfac
tory decision. ats your cart" were tn,
last words of the plaintiff.