The Portland daily press., 1876-11-13
The G. B. C.
A Tale of n Telegram.
BY JAMES PAYNE.

speculation; but my dear friend Jones In
sisted with such elosuence upon the success
that must Individually follow upon the estab- |
lishment of the Great Butter Company-an
association formed for the manufacture of
that commodity out of material which shall
be nameless, but which was by no means sol
precarious and open to adulteration as cream,
and the supply of which was practically in
exhaustible-that l suffered the name OF
Martingale to appear, for consideration, On
the list of directors.
1t is a name well known in society, and
was up to that time untainted by connection
with trade; unless, indeed, the shopping and
sale of chargers-for which will back my
self against any cavalry officer in her Maj
esty's service-may be considered by the
pedantic as coming under that head. AS for
the city, know nothing more about than
that it was locality lying east of Cox's the
army agents, which was the limit OF my per-
sonal experience in that direction. have
always breathed quite another atmosphere
that of Pail Mall; 1 wish 1 could say purer
one; but the fact is, that the atmosphere OF
the smoking-rooms both at the 'Rag" and
the "Junor" are, toward the small hours of
the morning, when my own day is by no
means finished, something appalling. 1 had
three hundred year for directing the Butter
Company; and it was far easier work, am
bound to say, than were the old duties in my
regiment, for which was paid aprecisely
similar sum. Once a month Chinaman
called for me in his broughan and deposited
me at the offices in Cornhill. where, after an
excellent luncheon, (of which our butter
formed no ingredient) attached my auto
graph to certain documents, proceeding
which, believe, is technically termed "pass-
ing the accounts" There were some per-
sons of my acquaintance and profession
persons have reason to believe who had
I'D fnr
failed-who did not scruple to call the Great
Butter Company slippery concern and who
affected to give me friendly counsel to get
out OF it; but I was too well accustomed to
the system of military exchanges not to per-
ce:ve their drift-their object was, of course,
to be gazetted in my stead. listened to
their jokes about "Martingale, the man of
business" every time 1 returned from an ex-
petition 10 Cornhill with even more than my
usual good nature, for 1 had twenty five
golden reasons in my pocket-the directors
were paid monthly-for sticking to the but
ter. And I believe the Butter would have
stuck to me had it not been for my own
fault-if can call that fault which was the
most extraordinary piece of ill-fortune that
ever befel fellow, and solely through anoth-
er fellows being too clever by half.
Well, say the G. B. Gas we who be-
longed to it were accustomed to call it, as the
Chairman said, tout of affection and eu-
phony,' but so far as was concerned, for
mere shortness-was little talked about;"
il had its detractors and even its enemies.
People shook their heads at it Especially
when they tasted the butter), and prophesied
we should not last; and it was necessary to
advertise considerably to get new customers.
Our business lay rather with new ones than
old ones, perhaps; but it was gradually get
ting spread over the country-though thinly
spread, like butter upon bread at school.
So long as we were harmonious among our
selves, said the Chairman, or, at all events,
washed our dirty linen at home-did not at
tack one another in the papers, as so man.
boards of directors are wontto-we should be
all right; but if once there should be mis-
trust of one another he would not answer for
ter Company be true to ITSELF" said he, DUR
ing the peroration of the most powerful
speech ] ever remember to have heard from
auy man sitting, s'and do not hesitate to af.
firm that the days of dairymen are num-
bered." For though am still under an OBJ
legation OF secrecy as to the material of which
our butter was composed, I may say that it
had nothing in common with dairies-except
a little water. Enough, however, of CONNER
cial details.
When playing at pool in early autumn one
night at the Club had the misfortune to
lose-neither my money nor my life, for / am
amazingly careful of both, but my selfposses-
sion, and somehow or other got inveigled in
to promise to 60 down to old Slowcombe's
to shoot upon the first of October. 1t was
foolish thing to do, for Slowcombe is a bore,
and happened to owe him little money;
and when man is both bore and creditor
it is intoerable to be under the same roof
with him, more especially if it be his own.
There were some excuses for me, for in the
first place there were so few men in town that
l. ol.aA1 IL
the pool, and secondly, when one owes fell
low money one is bound to be civil to him.
We got talking of pheasants, and the old fel
low asked me if l liked pheasant-shooting,
and when said yes, "Then come" said he
Sand have shy at mine" no more sus-
pected Slowcombe of having any pheasant
shooting to give away than of keeping rou
lette-table at Hampton Court races; he was
a stodgy, pursy, plethoric old fellow, who had
been in the yeomanry for day or two, Gust
to get qualification for the Club and had
then rested on his laurels Still, when man
farms his own land there is always tempta-
ton to get something out oft, and it seemed
he had grown pheasants. 1 ought to have
been more prudent and will ansther time,
or my name is not Martingale.
am, however, man of my word, and
never thought of breaking my promise to
Slowcombe, until heard him ask another
enjoy themselves among his covers, and both
of them refused point-blank. They did not
owe him money, as did; but it struck me
that they were more decided in their mega
tives than the occasion demanded.
''Why don't you 60 down to poor old Slow
combe's?" said ] to one of them, man
should have liked as companion in such an
expedition; che means well and is quite
harmless"
Harmless! By Jove that's just what he
isn't" was the unexpected reply. "Whv,
last year was the first, according to his own
confession, that he ever took gun in hand,
and he shot Brooks of ours in the leg at If
teen yards in one of his own turnip. fields.
You don't mean to say you never heard
Brooks tell the story about his leg, and how
Siowcombe made game OF FTP"
did not like to say that myself had
promised to 60 down to Sowcombe's, but l
made up my mind from that moment that l
wouldn't 60. l am not family man, but I
respect myself, hope, as much as if was
and wasn't going to be blown to pieces by
an old rhinoceros like that, in field of
Swedes. My difficulty was to find an excuse;
for the other mems refusals-and his own
knowledge perhaps of why they wouldn't
come-had made Sowcombe "touchy," and
when 1 had limited that couldn't be quite
sure of being with him on the first, he had
made an allusion to the little matter of bust
ness between us, which felt to be equivalent
to ''play or pay Come 10 Ploughshire (tor
he lived among the clodhoppers) or settle my
account.
At last hit upon plan. He knew that
I was connected with the Great Butter Com
paDy, and had often sounded me as to its
prospects; but could never persuade him
to invest in it. "If it's such a real good
thing you had better stick to it yourself,
MartiDgale, and let nobody in" 1 didn't |
like the remark about letting people in; but
was not in position to quarrel with Slow
come. He parted from me on the last day
but one of September, telling me he wanted
twenty-four hours to get his guns ready, and
impressng upon me the best train by which
to start for Ploughshare on the morrow. The
next morning 1.-THE 30thl wrote him this
letter from the Club:
My Dear Sloacboy,-I am exceedingly sorry to dis
appoint you-and still more to disappoint myself
but regret to say that proposed visit to you has
been Knocked on the head. The enclosed telegram
Will explain itself. Nothing but the most urgent bust
ness would have prevented my keeping my engage
ment, and feel confident, from the ideas you have
often expressed TO respecting the necessity of
attending strictly to the G. b. c.. need no further
apology for my absence. You will doubtless, have
many another gun with you, and if the phrase of |