The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1876-01-15

John b. Coughs Anecdotat ia

John B. Coughs AnectOtdt 1dtk.
The following lecture on Blunders" was de-
liyered by Mr.. Cough, at the Academy of Mus
ie, Philadelphia, few uights ago:
Mr. Cough commenced by saying that be
/ would speak on "Blunders," which included
] quite wide range of subjects and causes. One
cause Of blunders was absent-mindedness, and
he related several incidents OF blunders which
originated in this failing. He spoke OF coop
er, who put his little son inside OF the barrel
that he might hold up the head whilst he fast
ened it in, only TO find when he had done SO
thatthere was no mode Of egress except through
the bunghole. This might be termed foolish
blunder bat there was also the apothecary
who, in compounding prescription, put In the
wrong drugs, and that was criminal blunder.
He told of an absent-minded Scotch divine,
who, in leaving a lecture room took young
mans hat thinking it was book, on another
occasion taking a woman's bonnet in mistake
for his hat and on still another occasion, be-
ing given an umbrella, carefully placed it un-
der his coat TO keep it from getting wet
Laughter.
He related story of an English speaker
who, upon certain occasion, intending to say
"the pibroch and slogan" used the expression,
"the pigand and slobrock." Upon being told
of his blunder, he endeavored to rectify it, and
addressing his hearers said 81 am told that
in my speech have said pigand and slobrock;
what intended saying was the slobrock and
pigand."
The speaker referred to the blunders of the
late civil war, and from that went to the poor
classes Ct the large cities. He spoke of a wc-
man named Ma garet, Who lived, eightv-fve
wears ago, on the banks OF the Hudson. She
grew up wild and uncared for, and led a Grim
inal and bad life, and through her her chlidren
became the progenitors of distinguished
dc war ID
the names of 7O4 criminals, who had served
200 wears in prisons. Ii there had ever been
one yirtuOus descendant OF this family the fact
had not been discovered. Could not all this
crime have been prevented by the expsn-
pture of few dollars in providing ier
Margaret, so that she Nigh have been led to q
different life? Wasn't there blunder some
where The peor needed amusement, recrea-
ton and sustenance. He believes IN that
Christianity which recognized the physical
wants of the poor. lGreat spplause.l
| Mr. Cough then went on to give some account
of foreign blunders, /. G., Of foreigners endeav-
oring 70 express themselves IN another Ian
| guage from their own. lie also gave some spec
| linens of Irish Bulls. He referred 70 party
| of Epglshmen who were dining with an Irish
man, the former quizzing the latter upon Ire
| land being such a great place for bulls.
| Bulls is it," said Pat, sand I'm sure there Is
more bulls in England than at home. You're
a nation of John Bulls, and all your hotels are
| called after bulls. In the very street we are
on there are SIX Of them named alter bulls. =
| ''Oh, no." said one of the Englshmen, 81 don
think there are that many" Patinsisted, and
a wager was made. Pat commenced to count
on his fingers, land here the speaker went slow
| ly through the process of telling them OIL on
his ingers.) "The Red Bull is one, the Blue
Bull is two, the Black Bull is three, the white
| bull is four, the-the-the spotted bull is i've
| n 49, g aaA pA has
tated) "That is all, ;" said the Englishmar.
"No. | have it, said Pat, "the red cow is six.
Laughter.) The Englishmen all laughed at
| Pat One said, "Why, Pat, that is a regular
Irish bull" "Of course" said Pat, "but then
it's bull and that makes six" Renewed
laughter.
Mr.. Cough spoke of the blunders we made
in speaking. We said shell peas, when we
were taking the shells off; husk corn, when we
were taking the husks off that a woman was
| dusting the furniture, when she wasn't doing
ANYTHING of the kind, but was removing 1T
that butcher skinned calf, when he was de-
priving him of it that person would say
shovel the side walk off, when they meant tc
shovel off the snow.
He told Of two children quarrelling, and
their mother saying to them, "If you don't stop
shall tell both your fathers" There was q
ripple of laughter in the audience at this, but
it required a few seconds for it to take in The
double entendre, when the laughter became loud
general and prolonged.
Where the speaker finds a bull in the follow
ing we can't for the life of US see. 81 was on {
ferry boat at New York once, and saw this In
scription, Passengers are requested not to leav'
the boat until it is made fast to the wharf "
Anecdote followed anecdote, in quick success
sion. Mr.. Cough also spoke of politicians; o
Utah and polygamy; of the massacre by Blsh
on Lee: OF the blunder of the people of tn
United States who spent $500, 900, 900 with rum
sellers in one year of Vineland, where ther
wasn't single dram shop, aud where the po
lice force only cost S75 last year; of the blum
der we made in undertaking the capacity o
children to understand and to remember. HI
told of child who was asked i'm a Sabbath
School what the Israelites did after they pass
ed through the Red Sea, and the reply was :
"I guess they dried themselves" He apollo
gized for the bad cold he had, and thanked tn
people for their attendance, closing his re
marks amid considerable applause.