Litchfield enquirer., 1876-02-03
QUEEN OF THE RosTRUM.


 A man who admitted he played the accordion fell into the hands of the court this morning, yet, for some inexpllcable reason. the judge allowed the opportunity to slip through his fingers. and only gave him thirty days. There is such thing as trying the temper of the people too far.
 An unwilling juryman recently excused himself from serving by letter, of which the following isa literal copy :: .'Sir-As I am Fauriner and my lengwich Danich l am not ettel compitint of the Englich lengwich to be iewry man and my con- tious du not allow me to geive my openian en wat do not eaderstan. An answer vel oblight." - .. ywvw <
 After giving Sandy certain directions about kirk matters. the minister sniffsd once or twice. and remarked. Saunders, fear you have been tasting this morn- ing" "Deed, Sir. replied Sandy, with the coolest effrontery, set of with a droll glance of his brown eyes -"deed, Sir, was just gain to observe thocht there was smell O speerits amang us this mornin'"
 From the Danbury News: 5
 Woman proposes and man gifts up and gifts. this year.
 Diaries for 1876 can be bought in Dan- bury for less'than the cost of thebinding, besides being well started. ~ ~ ~' 0 N e
 The extreme height of misery is e small boy with new pair of rubber boots and ao mud or slush in reach.
 There having been no skating in the past week the health of the pupils in our IssleSlshas been ex.rensly goo,
 One of the most pitiable. sights in this life is the spectacle of a man, who has been married but three months, wearing cotton Fl niS sessls' satss' ssat2sa as4,1 buH ,.isEss -
 A Newtown man favors the presence of the album in the public schools. He writes us that ''the holey book must be kept in tho skoels atsny cost."'l h Jt4.
 bio Lewis rises mp from sick bed to say that ii man eats nothing but graham cakes and stewed apples. he can sling camel over his head every morning.
 "Ann," observed Danbury housekeep- CT to to Che hired gifl, the other morning. Gas we have entered upon the dawn of an. other century of our nations history. I guess you had better get & toothbrush of your own. '@ -N t' E @~s [ Half the people who are making this lproar over the exclusion of the Bible from the public schools couldn't tell on their own responsibility whether the book of Genesis was written by St. Paul or HHahntlst.I I uNA 2gAII0O ..s
 A Danbury man put pair of nine dol lar shoes in the stove oven to dry, the oth- CT night. There was not much fire in the stove and so he closed the oven door. The next morning he built the fire with. out . thought of the shoes, and it was not until an hour later that they occurred to ' him. They were ruined then. The soles were turned up insa playful manner, and the uppers resembled somewhat the coast of Maine. He didn't say word Sadly and silently he was removing them with a shovel, when his wife came in, and saw at glance what had happened.
 ''Well. that's just like a.manw she in- discreetly exclaimed. 'sWhy didn't you have sense enough to look into the oven before yoH started the firsgakI
 He hadn't said single word of his loss. But now he spoke
 6o.Gosh dun hy eyAaif I1E aveE build 1 another fre!"
 And he is keeping his word. a When l sctH woman learn wisdom? est