The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-10-05
ENTERTAINING TRUE WICKEDNEss
A Corrcspondenfs Account Of Bob Iracrsoirs
Visit 20 the Hayes Family Mt Columbus.

Visit 60 the Hayes Family Mt Columbus.
COLUMBUS, Ohio. Oct. IL have been in
formed that last week Gov. Hayes and his excel
lent wife had the honor Of entertaining Col. BOD
InRerso at their hospitable mansion In this
city and propose to report the affair in its de-
tails exactly as 1t ought to have occurred.
The thing was anticipated with some APP
prehension by Gen. Hayes, who IL really pious
man, and who regards the opinions and express
sions Of the Peoria orator with healthy horror.
The children were therefore sent away on a
visit, and the Governor and his wife prepared
themselves for the coming Of their guest by
carefully reading voltaire and Tom Paine. and
by committing to heart such passages OF Scrip
ture as might be useful in corfuting the argu-
ments OF an open-mouthed infdel,
BOB arrived on the quarter past 1--WE train. fresh
from Indiana, and little hoarse Of voice. At
the dinner table. the Governor manifested con-
siderable trepidation, and nervously began to
sprinkle salt I'm his soup. but Mrs. Hayes re-
called him to sense OF his duty by remarkng
severely:
Now, Rutherford -
The Republican candidate for President drop
pod his spoon into the soup, and, after glancinR
timidly askance at the scorer On his left, bowed
bis head, and began to humble grace In an inau-
dible voice, while the scorer amused himself by
tossing bits of biscuit into the air. catching them
in his mouth with surprising dexterity and pre-
cision.
After the blessing had been asked, and while
Gov. Hayes wiping the Precipitation from
his brow, Col. Bob winked humorously at the
colored servant and then calmly proceeded to
eat his soup.
The estimable host and his wife had no more
trouble until nine o'clock approached. This Is
the time for regular evening prayers in the Hayes
family. and the Governor felt that he should de-
grade himself in his own estimation and lose
dignity In the eyes OF his wife II he should at
tempt to omit or slur over the ceremony.
Yet there is reason to believe. from a remark
he subsequently made to Mrs. Hayes, that when
he arose and took down from its shelf the we'll
worn family Bible and saw out Of the corners Of
his eyes the sardonic grin that overspread the
broad features OF his guest, he would gladly have
thrown ambition to the winds and gwen the
nomination to Jim Blaine II Bob Ingersoll had
only been in-Peorla.
ITS our CUSTOM" be said, with manifest con-
fusion, ITO close the active WORK Of the Scrip
tur es-I mean, to close the Scriptures with the
active day-that is, to-but II you have any
conscientious scruples-tbat Is. II you"
"Oh, bless you, chip right In" remarked Dob
Ingersol encouragingly. There's nothing in
the world amuses me more"
the family proceeded to read nervously from
the Acts. 1t must be said TO Bob's credit that
he listened to the reading with great attention
and with the exception OF murmuring occasional
comments such as Stuff" TOO thin 9" Now.
listen to that, will your" thrown In at passages
| which did not meet his own views, he acted as
| reverently as could have been expected.
But when the family were kneeling at their
chairs, Bob 1ngersoll, very much regret to say.
crawled noiselessly across the floor on his hands
and knees and put the good Governor into
nervous spasms by tickling the sole OF his stock
ing foot with a toothpick and then sent the
servants into convulsive laughter by rising and
| executing an accurate imitation OF the war
| dance of a Sioux brave, concluding with war
whoop that wound up the devotional exercises
| in confusion.
At breakfast the next morning Col. InRersoll
found beneath his plate attract entitled Pause,
| Sinner ! Pause" which he pocketed with great
| gravity assuring Mrs. Hays that he should find
| II Of value in his preparation for missionary
work among the heather OF Central Africa, In
case Of Tidens election.
At morning prayers the Governor read a chap
| ter OF genealogies from tho Old Testament. as
containing nothing that Bob lnVersoii could
| possibly object to, and kept one eye opened and
fixed upon his viyacious guest throughout the
deyotial exercises.
THIS is the unexaGRerated story OF Ingersolrs
visit TO Gen. Hayes. can assure your readers
that there Ia no foundation for the campaign
fasehood which accuses him Of stealing the
Hayes family Bible and trading IL with an itln-
Grant peddler for cigars. Nor is there particle
Of truth In the charge that with the burnt end
| of a match he drew the crude outline Of a
Rrnning deyi on beautiful spatterwork m lot o
" He Giveth his beloved sleep" which Mrs.
Hayes had hung over the bed In the spare
chamber.