Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1876-01-29
Facts and Fancies.

rUCts anu TbucIcss
King Alienso's song" I wish MANN
were here"
He who complains OF tho shortness c
life will get satisfaction in eternity.
my dear sir" is the why to com
mence telling man than his bill is to-
high.
Every cloud has silver lining-ex
cept Red CLOUD. His lining is copper
colored.
It is not enough to remember thu
poor. A little help occasionally will be
acceptable.
"Old- Man. Afraid. of his Wives is tn,
name by which Brigham Young is knowr
among tho Indians.
The supreme court OF Iowa has Just
decided that heirship may be resident ir
an illegitimate child.
It is fashionable to give a New Yorl
clergyman $1,000 as marriage fee. II
is also fashionable to turn a child ovel
to the police if rho begs for crust Of
bread.
A wilderness Of uncertainty seems to
environ the man who staggers over an
orange peel, and catches himself on his
heels five or six times before striking the
pavement.
New Jersey turned out 1900, 600
pounds of grapes last fall 200, 900 were
kept for making ne, and the rest ex-
ported.
The Herald of Health contends that
no person can be drunkard who every
day eats halt pound of macaroni,
favored with butter.
A widow informed friend at the
funeral that she couldn't tell whether
she would wear mourning or not until
her husbands will was read.
"Yes, I know it. I made mistake
and gave him too much medicine,
frankly said Western doctor wien he
was told that his patient was dead.
The overseer Of the Kentucky peni
tentiary says that he disrobes refractory
women convicts before he lashes them
in the presence of the other convicts.
A Reading girl will insist on wearing
boys clothes, and her father advertises
for remedy. Dress up young fel.
low in girls clothes and marry her of.
"Puts and calls" may be properly
defined thus You put your money In
the hands of broker for the purpose
Of speculation and call for the profits in
vain.
1t is said that since the abolition of
purchase in the British army many re-
tired officers have entered the ranks in
5he expectation Of working up to COM
mission.
The Savannah Me,vs says there is no
portion of the South where industrious
aborers are not needed, and where they
would not find immediate employment
It good wages.
"What no more ammunition T.
ried the captain of military company
N field day. "No; no more," re-
,lied his men. Then-ah-cease fir
ng," replied the officer.
An officer who was shot, q grape shot
,assing through his body, is alive and
lolds the of1lce OF sheriff Of Middlesex
ounty, Conn, and is now enjoying
,ood health and strength.
Bergh, the philanthropist, is trying
o get agents appointed all along the
lew York canals so as to arrest all
rivers using horses CALLED or injured.
he canal drivers do not like this.
Four wives in Virginia City celebrated
lew Year by christening their babes,
nd fifth wife, being present, cried
erself into Mysteries, because she had
o baby with which to celebrate.
A woman of Pekin, ILL.,, was asked by
or minister if her husband feared the
ord. She replied :" Fear him | Bless
1d, he is SO afeard of him that he never
oes out Of a Sunday without taking
is gun along"
A Wisconsin editor illustrates the pre-
ailing extravaganza of the people nova
ays by calling attention to the costly
aby carriages in use, while when he
as q baby they hauled him around by
10 hair of his head.
Leading po oultrymen have put in re-
nest for five acres of the Centennial
rounds, and 5000 pens, at the Phila-
elphia exhibition, for the display of
ducks, turkeys, geese, pigeons
I'd poultry products.
The cost of governing Great Britain
about $515, 600, 900; the cost of gov
ming the United States is $645, ,00O,-
|O-these sums including all the ex-
,nses of federal, State, county and
unicial government.
The St. Louis Republican emphasizes
@ fact that the brunt Of the present
Ird times falls unexpectedly on the
ast and not On the West and South,
ying that it has now become so plain
to need no demonstration.
The editor of the Oswego Times
snt to church, and during his absence
stole his coat and vest, which,
g account says, "were new, and cost
o." An editor who would pay such
prices as that for his clothes
serves to have them stolen.
A chinaman in California, whose life
IS insured for q large amount, was
riously hurt by falling from wagon.
lere was some doubt of his ever get
lg better, and at length one Of his
ends wrote to the insurance company:
Charlie half dead, like half money"
Rev. Mr.. Shipman, of Norwich,
,nn., says that he was once called to
AIRY a man who was to be united to
5 fourth wife. As he approached the
uple he said, as usual: "Please
e." The man fidgeted about on his
air, and finally remarked II have
ually sot."
The sight OF q woman driving cab
,racted the notice of the police in
asgow, and the regular driver was
ind inside the vehicle, dead. The
,man had gone on spree with a COM
MON, and had given the man SO much
uor that he had passed from insensi-
ity to death.
The meanest and one of the most
ngy men, named Mr.. T., was taken
ddenly ill and was not expected to re-
YER. He asked to have his will made
I, which was accordingly done. After
,ding it over carefully, he arose, drew
his pantaloons leisurely, and was
ard to exclaim: "Egad this is too
lch to leave any man." He can be
IN walking the streets now as well as
er. 900,
Stockwell worked for Hallman in Mill
ry, Mass, many years ago, and claim
a dollar as due when he quit. I'm
le to collect, he vowed that he would