Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
AGRICULTURAL JOURNALISM
Mark Twain's Experience in that
Line.

Mark Twain's Experience In that
Line.
From Sketches of Mark Twain"
l did not take the temporary editor
ship of an agricultural paper without
misgivings. Neither would lands
man take command of a ship without
misgivings. But l was IN circum-
stances that made the salary an OBJ.
ject. The regular editor of the paper
was going off for a holiday, and 1
accepted the terms he offered and
took his place.
The sense of being at work again
was luxurious, and wrought all the
week with untlagging pleasure. We
went to press, and l waited a day,
with some solicitude, to see whether
my effort was going to attract any
notice. AS LETT the office, toward
shutdown, a group of men and boys
at the foot of the stairs dispersed
with one impulse, and gave me pas
sage-way, and 1 heard one of them
say: "That's him!" was natural
ly pleased by this incident. The
next morning Hound similar group
at the foot of the stairs, scattering
couples and individuals standing here
and there in the street, and over the
way, watching me with interest.
The group separated and fell back
as / approached, and l heard man
say: 'sLook this eye!" pretended
not to observe the notice ] was at
tracing, but secretly I was pleased
with it, and was purposing to write
an account of it to my aunt. Invent
up the short flight of stairs and heard
CHEEKY voices and ringing laugh as
l drew near the door, which I opened,
and caught a glimpse of two young
rural-looking men, whose faces
blanched and heightened when they
saw me, and then they both plunged
through the window with a great
crash. was surprised.
In about half an hour an old gen.
tleman, with a flowing beard and a
fine but rather austerc face, entered
and sat down at my invitation. He
seemed to have something on his
mind. He took off his hat and set it
on the floor, and got ont of it red
silk handkerchief, and copy Of our
paper.
He put the paper in his lap, and,
while he polished his spectacles with
his handkerchief, he said: care you
the new editors"
| said | was.
Have you ever edited an agricul-
tural paper before?"
NO." sad I, this is my first at
tempt"
"Very likely. Have you had any
experience III agriculture practical
ly?"
"No; l believe l have not"
Some instinct told me So" said
the old gentleman, putting on his
spectacles and looking over them
with asperity, while he folded his pa
per into a convenient shape. 81
wish to read to you what must have
made me have that instinct. 1t was
this editorial. Listen and see if it
was you that wrote it:
"Turnips should never be pulled;
it Injuries them. 1t is much better to
send a boy up and let him shake the
tree"
"Now, what do you think of that?
for l really suppose you wrote it.
"Think of 1t? Why, think it is
good. [ think it is sense. I have
no doubt that every year millions
and millions of bushels of turnips
are spoiled in this township alone by
being pulled in half ripe condition,
when, if they had sent boy up to
shake the tree"
"Shake your grandmother! Tur-
nips don't grow on trees!"
"Oh, they don't, don't they? Well,
who said they did? The language
was intended to be figurative,-whol-
ly fgurative. Anybody that knows
anything will know that l meant that
the boy should shake the Vine"
Then this old person got up and
tore his paper all into small shreds,
and stamped on them, and broke sew
eral things with his cane, and said l
did not know as much as COW; and
then went out and banged the door
after him, and, in short, acted in such
way that l fancied he was displeas-
ed about something. But, not know
ing what the trouble was, l could not
be any help to him,
Pretty soon after this, long, ca
daverous creature, with lanky locks
hanging down to his shoulders and
weeks stubble bristling from the
hills and valleys of his face, darted
within the door, and halted motion
less, with finger on lip, and head and
body bent in listening attitude. No
sound was heard. Still he listened.
No sound. Then he turned the key
in the door, and came deliberately tip.
TONG toward me till he was within
long reaching distance of me, when
he stopped, and, after scanning my
face with intense interest awhile,
drew folded copy of our paper from
his bosom, and said:
"There, you wrote that. Read it
to me qnick. Relieve me. l suffer"
1 read as follows, and as the SEN
fences fell from my lips l could see
the relief come. l could see the
drawn muscles relax, and the anxiety
60 out of the face, and rest and peace
steal over the features like the merci-
full moonlight over a desolate land
scape:
"The guano is fine bird; but
great care Is necessary in rearing it.
1t should not be imported earlier than
June, nor later than September. In
the winter it should be kept in warm
place, where it can hatch out its
young.
cit is evident that we are to have
a backward season tor grain. There
fore, it will be well for the farmer to
begin setting out his cornstalks and
planting his buckwheat cakes in July
instead of August.
"Concerning the pumpkin. This
berry is favorite with the natives OF