Smyrna times., 1876-09-27
A Thirsty Woman at the Centennial

She was an elderly body of considerable
avoirdupois, and from something she said
about getting to Boston in time to take the
Portland steamer, the inference was fair
that she lived along the Androscoggin.
Her face had that weather beaten look,
not uncommon among the country women
of her latitude and longitude, suggestive of
having been hung out to dry in stiff
easterly wind and forgotten, and her voice
had a tendency toward shrillness not
agreeable to delicate ears. Her companion,
whom she addressed as Marian was
young person of the scrawny type, with
unpleasantly large blue eyes, frecklcd com
plexion and an apparently irrepressible
proclivity for giggling They were doing"
the Exhibition with that fierce but some
what ill-directed ardor peculiar to their
kind.
Law, Marian T. said the stout woman
as they came away from Peru and drifted
along toward the southwest entrance to the
Main Building, " Law Marian, do feel as
dry as a limekill. Them mummies reglarly
takes a bodys. breath with their bein' 80
mortal ugly, and it seems as nothin' but a
big drink of water would set body up
agen. Pears to me that these Centennial
folks might hev pump or two set in
about this place; 'twouldn't cost much
and 'twould be powerful satisfyin. Hev
you seen any drinkin' places 'cept these
owdacious-p priced soda waterers, Marian y
Marian calculated there wasn't nothin'
Of the kind round" but on reflection
added that over in the picture gallery she
had seen q thing like tin bucket, with a
lid and spigot at the bottom, with people
standing about getting drinks for nothing.
It's mon srous long way, Aunt Sal-far as
from the back kitchen door to the cow
bars, most-but if you're so dry's you let
on, dom mind goin over with you, for
| guess drink wouldn't be bad thing
after all this walkin'. But, bless US )! do
declare believe there's one of EN- now,
and Marian pointed just inside the door,
where tin canister, of about the size and
shape of a water cooler, stood upon a shelf,
rs pose you go over and try it, Aunt Sal"
We'll, there amt no tumbler, but l
could drink out Of this pipe thing if |
could only set the water a.runnin," )" observed
the elderly woman, after some little time
spent in searching for the faucet "It's
sing'lar they can't fix things right while
they're about it, SOS to save people trouble
Don't you see nothin, Marian, to make il
go2'
"There's that little thing on top, Aunt
Sal maybe if you was to turn that some
how you'd make it start up. 'Sposin' you
get the nozzle in your mouth, and I'll
kinder hike meself up and start her off.
guess can sort o squirm up on that box
and get a grip on the thing"
well, now, Mariar, it's obligin' of you
to take the trouble, but always did say
you was good-natured. gal, ready to lend
hand when it was wanted Jest you wai
till I skrummage my skirts together so'l
not to get 'em splashed. l know In
goin' to spill, drinkin' in this ridic'loul
kind o. way, and 'sposc people lookin' a
nell laugh more'n a little at the fgger II
cut; but I'm too thirsty to stop for laugh
in. Now, up with you, and turn on slow
for its bound to spatter unless you're un
common keerful."
The stout woman planted herself very
firmly upon the ground, her feet wide apar
and her gown skrummaged close around
her, her body bent forward and the end o
the pipe held firmly in her mouth will
her right hand. Her eyes were turned
upward toward her companion, and
altogether, she did look very funny
Marian "hiked herself up " and grasped tn,
brass handle.
Now, are you ready, Aunt Sal?'
" Yes, Mariar. Do be keerful. Dom
twist it much"
Does any ?" asked Maria, as sh,
gave the handle a turn so slight as not t.
be scarcely perceptible.
Not a bit; try it leetle more-just
very leettle bit more"
"Hows it now? Got any2"
"Not a drop. Maybe there amt M
water in it. Itud be just like 'em to hav,
the thing standin' here empty a-purpose tc
make folks uncomfortable. Give the
handle another poke, Mariar. l DOM
want to be stayin' here all day suckin' a
this nozzle and lookin' like laughin
stock"
"Well, l shouldn't wonder if it wa.
empty. 1t can't be very full, anyway, SC
here goes for good one. But don't you
be afeered, Aunt Sal; you just tell me i
it comes too strong, and I'll--Sakesa alive
What's got into the thing?" It's bubblin
and hissen' like a steam biler, and--Dror
it and run, Aunt Sal It's goin to bust a.
sure's you're born Quickr'
"Mariar Marian Helpl o, Lordyl It's
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