davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
Hwsssr asa ssrr~sss.

1t is not every body that knows
where to joke, or when or how; and
whoever is ignorant Of these condi-
tions had better not joke at all. A
gentleman never attempts to be hu-
morous at the expense Of people with
whom he is but slightly acquainted.
In fact, it is neither a good nor wise
policy to joke at any body's expense,
that is to say, to make any bo1y un-
comfortable merely to raise laugh.
Old Esop, who was doubtless the sub
ject Of many jibs on account of his
bumped back, tells the story in the "a
BILE Of The Boys and Frogs" What
was fun to the youngsters was the
death Of the croakers. A jest may
cut deeper than n curse. Some men
are so constituted that they cannot
take friendly joke in the same light
coin, and will requite il with centume-
ly and insult. Never banter one of
this class, or he will brood over -FOUR
badinage long after you have forgotten
it, and it is not prudent to incur any
ones enmity for the sake of uttering a
smart double entendre or a tart repar.
tee. Ridicule, at best, is perilous
weapon. Satire, however, when lev-
eled at social foibles and political
evils, is not only legitimate, but CON-
1t has shanled down more
abuses than were ever abolished by
force or logic.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21

I. Why not keep fresh the romance
and politeuess of onr younger days'
There is altogether too much monoto-
ny and routine Of life. Before you
were married, you went to her who
was to be your wife with a feeling that
her simple presence could charm away
the blues, but now you carry your
blues with you. Ii, years ago, she
had expressed a desire for some ilow-
ers that only grow on the top Of the
hill yonder, you were up by sunrise,
and felt fully repaid by the look Of
love or the kiss. for all your labor and
pains, Now. however. If the flowers
mast bs had. you give a man a dollar
70 gather them, while ysu turn over
and take another nap.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21

Many girl has beau who is very
attentive, and says all manner of nice
things. but doesn't propose, and final
ly deserts her; and the next thing she
hears of him is that che is paying at
tention to another Such cases often
come before our notice, and experience
generally tells us that in most instan-
ccs such young man never has any
real love for any body but himself,
and that all he cares for when he pre-
tends to love a girl. is to amuse him
self as long as he may choose ard end
by going off when he is tired. A man
who stops paying attention to a lady
on the pretence that his love is
changed, that he loves her no longer,
but now loves another, is a conscious
deceiver. He knows very well that
he has not loved, and that he does not
love, and that he does not intend to
keep his faith with any of the girls he
is trifling with. True love does not
seek change, nor will it give up its
object for any but overwhelming rea-
sons.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
Orercanie Him.

Last evening lady abruptly turn
ed the corner at Jones drug store, and
very rudely ran against little ragged
boy who was playing '.jacks." Stop.
ping as soon as she could, she turned
to him and said:
81 beg your pardon. Indeed, ] am
very sorry"
"The boy looked up in blank
amazement for an instant, then taking
off his crownless hat, bowed very low.
smiled till his face became radiant, and
said:
"Parding and welcome, Miss; aud
yer may run agin me and knock me
clean down an | won't say a word"
After the lady had passed he turn
ell to a comrade and said:
81 never bad any one to ask my
parding, and it kinder took me off my
feet"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
The Presidents Of fhe UnHeS sfsf~s'
During the eighty-eight year. which


Durirg the eighty-eigbt years which
have elapsed since the organization Of
the Federal Government, there have
been eighteen Presidents of the United
States. Fifteen Of them were elected
to the Presidency by the people; and
three-Tyler, Fillmore and Johnson
were elected Vice President. Tyler
became President on the death Of Gen.
Harrison; Fillmore on the death Of
Gen. Taylor, and johnson after the
assassination Of Abraham Lincoln.
Nine States-six Of them Northern
and three Southern-have furnished
our eighteen Presidents. Virginia
has had FIVE Of them-Washington,
jefferson. Madison, Monroe, and Ty-
Ter. Tennessee has had three-Jack-
son, Polk. and johnson. Massachu-
setts has had two--John Adams and
John Quincy Adams. New York
two-Van Buren, and Fillmore. Illi-
nois two-Lincoln and Grant. New
Hampshire one-Piercc. Pennsylva-
MIA one--Buchanan. Louisiana one
Taylor; and Ohio one-Harrison.
As between the North and South.
our Presidents have been divided with
absolute impartiality; nine of them
Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Mon
roe, jackson, Tyler, Taylor and John.
son-having come from below Mason
and Dixon's line, and nine-John
Adams, John Quincy Adams, Van
Buren,, Harrison, Fillmore, Pierce,
Buchanan, Lincoln and Grant-hav-
ing been elected from Northern States.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
Strong Beard.

Three brothers bearing a remarka-
BILE resemblance to each other, recent.
ly went into the same BARRIERS shop,
and on the same day, to be shaved
one in the morning, the other at noon,
and the third at night. When the
last one appeared, the barber. who was
a German, dropped his razor in aston
ishment, and exclaimed: "vell, dsi
man has the fashtest beard | ever saw
l shaves him dis morning. shaves
him at dinner times, and he comes
back now, nit his beard so long as Il
never vash!"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
Is Much Opposed 10 fNco terms as
Grant scas.

The second pledge Of Mr.. Hayes is
amusing. He states his ''inAexible
purpose, if selected, not to be can
didate for election to a second term"
This will sound well in New Jersey,
or f,r foreign countries where Hayes
isn't familiarly acquainted. But Mr..
William Z. Davis can explain how
Hayes once solemnly promised not to
be candidate for Congress but he
was. There is a member of Grants
Cabiuet-Judge Taft-who remem-
bers how Hayes sacredly promised
not to be a candidate for the Cover :
orship in 1875, and how he broke his
word. 1t is known to Ohio that
Hayes never held but one Office to
which he did not ride over broken
pledges. His promise not to accept
the Presidency the second time will be
deemed ludicrous in this State.-[ Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
Sfeafimg q Car Loud Of Caffie.

A few days ago Capt. c. Z. Dunn,
of Jefferson county, Tenn, shipped
two car loads of fat cattle to a promi-
nent cattle brokerin Richmond, Va in
accordance with a previous agreement.
When the cattle arrived at Lynch
burg, a man calling himself Harvey,
hailing from the vicinity Of Abing-
don, appeared upon the scene, and
exhibited a forged letter showing that
he was a partner of Capt. Dunn, with
authority to take charge Of the cattle
which he proposed to do.
As there could be no reasonable OBJ
lection, the impostor took charge Of
the train, and negotiated trade with
a cattle merchant Of Richmond, by
which he received 81 200 in cash, and
the polite Mr.. Harvey generously re-
auested that the remainder Of the
money should be sent to Capt. Dunn,
of Tennessee.
Capt. Dunn himself passed thro
Lynchburg, subsequently,, suspecting
that something was wrong. Upon
reaching Richmond, he ascertained all
the facts in the case, aud found that
his pretended "partner" had drawn
his money. An interview with the
innocent buyer, however, satisfied him
that he would sustain no loss, and the
innocent victim of Harvey's rascality
promptly repaid the 81 ,2oO.-[Lynch'
burg News.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21


nv the mere-, chsps. In the twilight gloon.
In the orchard path he met me
In the tall, We, gr.--, With its faint perfame-
Aud tried 10 ps--, but he made no roomi
Oh, tried, but he would no, let me;
a. I s,ood and blush~i till the srs- grew rel,
with my face bent down sbo,si,
while he tcot my band, ~ he whispering .sid-
Hos the clover lined each pink, SWEET head.
To listen 10 all that my loves s~id;
Obi The clover In bloom-f love ~
10 the high, vet rra.-, ven, the r~ih to hide,
And the low, vet le~v,. hung over
But could not pass upon either side,
For found myself when I vslnly tried
In the arms of my siesdfsss lover.
And he held me there, and he raised my he ID
while he closed the path b~fore me;
And he lcotci a owninio my eyes and said-
tIiow the leaves bcpi down from the bsughs ocs
head,
To listen To all that my lover said
OH The leaves hanging Io-ly o'er mel
Had he moved aside little way,
! could surely thes have passed hint
And would not have heard whs, he had 70 sy-
Gould only s.ide have cast him.
u va. aims, DARK. and the s'omcas -rc'i,
Aud the -suchlas uisht-~isd 'ousd ,a'
Bat he drew me nearer and softly said-
IIo~ the pure. sweet Wind srev stiil, insiead'
To listen 10 all that my hover said;
Oh, the Whispering sind around us')
/ am sure he knew when he held me CAST,
That must he III unwilling,
For tried 10 90. aud would have rss-si,
AZ the nighi ~ss coning with Its deu at last,
And the shy with stars vss slling;
But he elasred me eio-e ~hen ! would have a-d-
And he made me hear his story,
And his soal came on, from his irs and ~id-
(Icv the stars erept oct where the vAiis moon led
To il.isd b al that my lover aid;
OH the moon and stars In sicryD
. tnev thst the srs. aud the lcsv~ will not tell,
And I'm sure that the wiad-Prccioas lover
win csrry his sesrci safely and veil
That no leins shall ever dIsccve.
One vord of the many that rsr,dly fell
tr.,n the esecf iips of my lover.
shall never reveal what biry-liks spell
They woye round about u. that night in the dell,
In the path through the de~-i..ien clover
Nor e,ho the whispers tina, made my heart swell
A. they fell nom the lips Of my lover.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21

SHOULD a ship canal be cut across
the kthmus OF Darien at the narrow
est point, il would be thirty-two miles
long, and would require ship tunnel
l2j feet high AMI 7 miles in length
through solid rock. A vessel going
from New York to San Francisco,
wouh save ten thousand miles of sail.
iug, aud could afford 10 pay a toll Of
$1,000. In the one item of wages. a
clipper ship Of 1900 tons bar,AsD,
would save $4,000 at least. II Is ssii-
mated that the work woald esst $780,.
O00, 900.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21

LADIES feeling an interest in the
dead and gone fashions Of their ances-
tors. will read with pleasure the fol-
lowing "recipe for lady's dress, |"
printed in London. 1921. LET sim
plicity be your white, chastity your
vermillion, dress your eyebrows with
modesty, and your lips with reserved
ness. Let instruction be your ear
rings, and a ruby cross the front pin
on your head. Submission to your
husband is your best ornament. En-
ploy your hands in house-wifsry, and
keep your feet within your own doors,
Let your garments be made Of the
silk of probity, the fine linen Of sane
tity, and the purple Of chastity.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
HUMOROUS.

A POLITE way Of putting it-Trou
bled with chronic indisposition Il
exertion.
An Irishman having been told that
the price Of bread had been lowered,
exclaimed, That is the first time
ever rejoiced at the fall of my best
friend!"
Ii is not pleasant TO hear a person
continually remark that he owes nc
man cent. II creates a suspicion
that no man will trust him. --[Roch.
ester Democrat.
"MY dear" said John Henry, to hi.
scornful wife, Providence has spared
you the necessity of making any exer-
tions Of your own to turn up your
nose. se.'-[Cincinnati Times.
RICHARD GRANT WHrrE says there
is no such thing as Gin our midst,
but we would like 10 know where he
would locate the pain that makes par
egoric popular beverage among the
young.
PROFESSOR in physics (who had
given popular lecture on Light"
the previous evening" to bewildered
student in astronomy-"Mr. W., why
unprepared this morningf" Student
(very thoughtful and good natu. .'ed)
a fooled my time away at the lee.
ture last night"
PLATO saysthat p hilosophy consoles
a man in ali trials; but we would have
liked to see Plato chasing lawn mow-
er about his front yard and trying to
produce pleasing impression on the
pretty girl across the way about the
time the machine struck stone and
the handle took him in the pit of the
stomach.
SuE had been fishing for trout very
long and patiently without catching
any, when her husband espled her, and
asked her what sort of flies she used.
"Oh,' she answered, "some nice ones
that bought in Paris ON purpose. /"
But exclaimed the husband, pull
ing out her line and looking at the
flies, "these flies will never catch trout.
Who ever heard of any body fishing
for trout with flies of this color!"
why" replied the wife, they are all
right-they match my dress, you seel'
They call it the lighting trick" in
Detroit. A benevolent looking man
enters a drinking saloon, followed soon
after by wiry little fellow who in.
vites No. l to take drink and a cigar.
The liquor is swallowed, the cigars are
lighted, when No. 2 exclaims: "For
thirty long years l hav, followed your
trail day aud night You broke up
my happy family, william that you are,
but now come out here and fight me
like a man !" II will fight you to the
death " is the determined reply aud
both rush into the back yard. The
agitated barkeeper runs to the front
door, whistles for policeman, and
hurries TO the back door Just in time
to see coat tail disappearing over the
fence. Then he begins to realize the
situation.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21

The exports of domestic cottons
from New York to foreign ports in
one week, recently, were over 1000
packages. which bring the total, from
the LIST of January, up to Si,50O
packages, The shipments Of grain
aye enormous. Last weeks exports
were Of wheat. l3.023.S00 bushels,
corn. 4O0,s46 bushels, besides fair
quantity Of peas, rye, aud oats. The
prospect of war in Europe has stimu-
lated the grain rade.-[scientife
American.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21
Hoe she Marrsea fhs Mon she Lored

Hoe she Married the Man she Lsred
Several days ago beautiful young
lady arrived at the Lindell Hotel in
this city. Registering herself as Miss
Ida Hermanee, San Francisco, she
engaged the handsomest parlor in the
hotel, at $40 per day, together with
the bridal chamber. She was mag
ni6cently dressed, wore several thou
sand dollars worth of diamonds, aud
dispensed among the walters, money.
as though she were princess. On
Saturday, she published an advertise
ment informing 4. G. Crippen, that
a lady at the Lindell Hotel desired to
SEQ him. Crippen heard Of the adver-
tisement today, went to the hotel and
found an old sweetheart. The meet
ing resulted in hasty marriage in
pr. Sphuylers church this evening.
Crippen is well known in Cincinnati
and Chicago, as a seller Of safes. The
young lady is said to be the only
daughter Of millionaire widow Of
California. She ran away from her
mamma about two weeks ago to Grip
pen. II chicago Tribune.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-07-21

A POLITE way of putting it-Trou.
bled with a chronic indisposition to
exertion.
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27

South Carolina Board.

1t is not generally known that South
Carolina has returning board, but such
is the fact. There is a state board of can
vassers which, by the law, have power
to declare and determine what persons
have been, by the greatest number of
votes, duly elected to such offices or either
of them. They shall have power, and il
is their duty, to decide all cases under
protest or contest that may arise, where
the power to do so does not, by the con.
stitution, reside in some other body. "
This is composed of six officials, four OF
whom are candidates for election. There
is already abundant proof of the perfect
| unscrupulousness of the republican
managers. Even if the state should cas-
| its vote for Tilden and Hampton by {
large majority, there need be no surprise
if this returning board initiate its Louisi
ana prototype, and by their fraudulen
Intervention defeat the popular will
Bait. Gazette.
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27
"YOunO' Mr.. Bird.

The Republican says the young men
ought to vote for Mr.. Bird, as he is a
young man. 1t is true Mr.. Bird is not an
old man; but it is hardly consistent with
truth to call a man of forty, who has
neither wife nor child he dare call his
own; one who has done nothing of which
loyal christian young men may feel
proud one who has gathered where he
had not sown. Slow indeed would be
the growth of our country, if all men
did as little toward building it up as Mr..
Bird. As well might the Republican
recommend the excentric farmer who
sowed tares that he might gather thistles
No, young men who have wives and sis
tiers are not likely to find much il
young" Mr.. Bird to cause them to vot'
for him on account of his youth, Or 10
anything that he has done for the good O
society, either in church or State.
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27

SHERIFFS SALE-By virtue ofa writ of
~ Levari Faci to me directed, will be ex :
exposed to Public Sale at the
HOTEL. Sil SIMPLIFY ST..
kept by Geo. ortlin. in the city of Whining
ton, New Castle county, Delaware, on
SATURDAY
THE 18th DAY OF OCTOBER, 1876.
At 2 o'clock P NJ.
The following describe Real Estate.vz
All that certain lot of land with brick
slaughter house thereon situate, in the said
city of Wilmington, bounded and describe
as follows TO wit; Beginning "a the northerIy
side of Fifth street at the distance OF thirty.
four ieet from the corner formed by the in
direction of the line of the Lortherly side of
Fifth street with the westerly side of Monroe
street; thence northerly parallel with Mon.
roe street fifty six feet and Blk inches to Cor
ner; thence westerly and parallel to Fifth
street sixteen feet and six inches to a corner:
thence southerly and pal allel with Monroe
street sixty-six eet aud SIX inches TO the
hortherly, side Of Fifth street; and thence
easterly along said side. of Filth street sixteen
fact and six inches to The p ace of beginning,
be the contents within said bounds what rhe y
may, BOOK W, vol 8. page 235, &c.
Seized and taken in execution as The pro.
perry OF Jeremiah X. Wood and Sidney p
Wood his wife. and t. t and to be sold by
WIN. n. JAMESON, Sheriff.
Sherif's Office. New Castle,
Oct. g. 1876, octe-ts
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27

The greatest convert that has been
made to TnDEN is the New York Herald
newspaper. 1t now declares that it has
the greatest confidence in TnDEN; that
his letter extinguishes the last lie that
has been uttered against him in COM
plete, fair and open manner, and that he
deserves to be made President by the peo-
pie. Its Western correspondent writing
from Buffalo, declares that from the most
reliable appearances, Tilden will carry
Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois as well as
Indiana, and that Missouri is Democratic
all over.
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27

c HERIFFS SALE. r.
, By virtue of o writ of Levari Facias to me
directed, will be exposed to Pablo sale. at
the ~ ~ -. as. Fl. .--4 a
LAFAYETTE HOTEL, 81 SIMPLIFY ST..
kept by George w. Ortlip. in the city of Will
mington. New Castle county, Delaware. on
MONDAY.
THE 18th DAY OF NOVEMBER. 1870,
At o'clock. p. m. tl-. 81
The following described Real Estate, viz:
All that certa lot of land with two story
brick dwelling house thereon erected, situate
10 the city of Wilmington, bounded as descri-
bed as follows. to wit: Beginning at the wes-
terly side of DUPONT street at tho distance oil
| sixty five feet eight and half inches north
| erly from the northerly side of Sixth street;
thence westerly parallel to Sixth street and
passing through and along the middle of The
partit on walls between the two dwellings
| sixty eight feet to u corner; thence mort herly
parallel to DUPONT street fifteen feet tn. co
| and n half inches to another corner; thence
easterly parallel to Sixth street sixty eight
feet to the side Of DUPONT street aforesaid;
| and thence thereby southerly fifteen feet
| three and q half inches to the rlace OF begin
ming be the contents thereof what they may.
Seized and taken in execution rs the pro-
perty of Stephen L. Nichols and Anna his
wife. and terre tenants. and to be sold by
WIN. Ii. LAMBSUN, Sheriff.
Shcrif's Office. New Castle,
Oct. %. 1876. octc6-ts
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27

- HERIFF'S SALE.
- BY virtue of writ of Leyari Facias to me
directed. will be exrosed to Public Sale at the
LAFAYETTE HOTEL. BAL SIMPLIFY ST..
kept by George W. Ortlp, in the city of Will
mington. New Castle county, Delawaie, on
SATURDAY,
THE 2Sth DAY OF OCTOBER, 1875.
At o'clock. D. M.
The following described Real Estate. viz.
All that certain lot of land with a two story
brick dwelling house thereon erected, bound.
cd and Described as follows to wit: Situate in
the SAID city OF Wilmington, and beginning on
the easteriy side of T. tnall street between
fourtn and Fifth streets, at a line of lands
late OF George Winterhalter. deceased; thence
with said line easterIy parallel with Fourth
street nifty feet to a stake; thence northerly
parallel 70 Iatnall street thirteen feet more or
less to line If land lately conveyed to An
gustus Bickta; thence with his liue westerly
| parallel W tn Fourth street Gfty feet la the
ssid easterly side OF Tatnall street; and hence
thereby southerly thirteen feet, more or less.
TO the place of beginning, be the contents
thereof what they may. ''"''
Book2 Vol. y. page 465, &c.
oeized and taken In execution as the pro-
| perty OF Augustus Bickta and Teresa his wife
| and t. Is. and to be sold by
WIN ii. JAMESON, Sheriff.
sherih's Office, New Castle.
Oct. 6. 1876. oct7-ts
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27

The Philadelphia Times says the paid
admissions to the Centennial yesterday,
Ohio Day, was estimated at 122, 7I9, and
that they exceeded the New York Day
''by about 1000; but it was partly owing
to the celebration of merchants repre-
senting various commercial bodies of the
United States" The Times says there
were $4,000 Ohioans present. Now, on
Wednesday there were 106,949 admis-
sions, so that if we deduct the Ohio peo-
pie, there were not near so many present
as the day before. Again, in September
when New York had her day the rush tc
the Centennial had not begun, nor was
Philadelphia near so much crowded as i
has been since the middle of October
1t is little remarkable that with all tn
efforts the Pennsylvania and Ohio poll
ticians could make with the aim in view
that Hayes could only draw $1,000 NOR
men, women and children to the ground
on Ohio Day than were present the da
before,
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27
I'JsiIadeIphia Lascyers Protest

One of the most remarkable features
of the campaign is the publication in the
Philadelphia papers of protest signed
by fifty-one members of the Bar of that
city and county, denouncing Grants
Proclamation and marching troops into
South Carolina. The paper is signed by
the most moral, able and distinguished
lawyers of Philadelphia, and only by
nan of character and standing. When
such men come forward and quietly put
the weight of their names and character
against the acts of the Executive, it il
high time for the people to become
alarmed. Philadelphia is a very proper
place from which such paper should
emanate, and this very proper time
in which it should be published. If sucl
acts of usurpation are overlooked now
there is no telling when other States ma,
be subdued by some ambitious tyrant.
The daily gazette., 1876-10-27
Marching Clssbs.

The Democratic young men last night
made one of the handsomest torch-light
displays ever seen in our city. And theil
behavior was that of enthusiastic gentle
men. The girls were not ashamed o.
their company.
The New Castle Tildeu and Hendricks
club go to Delaware City tonight. This
is one of the finest clubs in the State,
They number 200 equipped men. They
go in the steamer "Jersey Blue" and
will be accompanied by the New Castle
and Newark bands.