New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1876-03-19
BLUNDERS.

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BLUNDERs.
There are certain phenomena in public
life which surprise US by their evenness
and the regularity of their movements.
When these regular events are broken in
upon, and are disturbed, We are quick to
notice the impelling cause. but we fail to
be impressed with the wide field there js
for more interruptions. We are quick
enough to pass judgment upon railway
officials whenever accidents occur, but the
great wonder is, with our immense coun-
try and our travelling public, that bridges
do not break, and locomotives run away,
and steamboats, explode, more frequently
than they do. And this is just as true of
public and of social life.
It is marvel that there are not more
mistakes made in the presence of mis-
cellaneous audience, when once We realize
how easy . matter it is to spoil q lecture,
concert, or service by the irrelevant in
PRODUCTION Of some ludicrous element
It is q great wonder, too, when We re-
member their power, that little children
when in company do not create more
awkward scenes by the Juggling in Of con-
traband subjects Of conversation.
A story is told Of celebrated American
preacher who was reproved by q friend
because he got of 80 many funny things
from the pulpit.
"Really. now, my dear brother" said
the friend, II can not come to hear you
any more until You promise me not to
Joke 40!
"Well, my dear friend" replied the
preacher, ''if you only knew low many
such things came up to the surface which
didn't get of, you would give me credit
for the few which do slip out ?"
If, as it has been said, there is some
thing sad in the sight OF large audience.
there are times when it impresses the
speaker rather with q sense of the ludic-
rous. People in listening to speaker
try to put on their cleverest look, as il
they understood it all, and when the
speaker himself has lost his subject,
nominative and verb, and feels that he is
talking nonsense for the moment, the IN
abashed attention and wise looks of his
hearers are food for q side train of anus
ing reflections.
''What did you think of my sermon"
asked clergyman Of an intimate friend.
did you notice anything curious about
it when was about half way through yes
terday afternoon"
He had lost all idea of his third point
in an extemporaneous address, and was
foundering about like Millions Satan in
the chaotic bog, trying to get on solid
ground again.
SWELL" answered the friend, II thought
something was wrong, but, as was sure
you could not lose yourself, concluded
I must have fallen asleep for a moment,
and thus have lost the thread of the dis
course"
The subject of professional blunders''
came up at clerical dinner company
some time ago, and the question went
round to each, as follows: "Were you
ever so placed in public in the perform
ance of q service as to lose all sense of
the solemnity of the occasion and be com.
PEELED to laugh in spite of your more Sc
rious self"
The following are some Of the answers,
as revealing the hidden but unforgotten
experiences of ministerial accidents. Case
number one was as follows:
II was holding prayer meeting in
Western town in the early days of my
ministry. and, as there Was no one to raise
the tune, tried myself to do it. The
hymn began
With hyssop purge thy servant. Lord,
And 30 clean shall be.
My first attempt was a failure; when l
tried tune number two found it was q
long metre; tune number three was an
other long metre, and as l had come to
the end OF my stock, stood still for few
moments looking at the page. Thereupcn
an old woman stood up by the door and
spoke out into shrill, piping voice: You
don't seem to get on very we'll with hys-
sop, suppose you try some other yarb y
What could do but burst out with the
all-conquer;ng laugh, or die if sup
pressed it ?"
Here was case number two:
II was conducting the funeral of
parishioner, and. supposing that the choir
was present, gave out the hymn. No re-
Spouse came. As there was no one to
raise the tune, l boldly essayed to do it.
But, to my horror, found it was too short
for the words; no one could follow me in
my frightening process, SO l had it all
my own way, and sang it as solo. When
l came to verse number two, l thought for
long time, and then, feeling sure that l
was right this time, pitched the tune, but
it was so high could not pretend to fol-
low it, and left it for two or three volun-
teer ladies to carry on as best they could.
But, to my dismay, l found that even this
would not do; it was a long metre tune to
a common metre hymn, and it came to an
ignominious close at the end of the Sec
ond line. The words were solemn, the
occasion was solemn; felt for the mourn
ers, felt for myself, but, wanting to be
brave and prevail over the difficulty,
stood for moment and then struck up
again. This time was down in the very
depths in my effort not to pitch it too
high, and again l was on a long metre,
which could not make short enough for
the hymn. Do what would, could not
tuck it in, and the hymn
Hear what the voice from heaven declares:
Is forever ruined for me. No wonder
that family never wanted to have DR.. -
at the funeral of any OF their friends.
Case No. was that of very solemn
clergyman and his assistant, who were
disturbed in their chancel by miserable
looking street cat, which had come in by
some unkno wn way and was rubbing up
against their legs, me-owing piteously.
The rector beckoned to the assistant to
put the cat out, which he did, but in
moments sh Q was back again. Upon this
tho vavv ao1 ann rector Dlaced the moor