The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-06-07

AfS" "nu ehOh Ouo secs III LONDON
young girl extraordinarily pretty and
fresh but Of the old ladies not one
have | seen to compare with those
beautiful old women of America, who
wear their years. like so many added
charms, whose silver hair shines like
q glory around gentle faces that years
and sorrow, perhaps, have refined and
spiritualized TO beauty beyond the
rounded outlines of youth"
Three or four Detroit girls wete the
other day discussing the character and
standing of a certain young man, and
an old lady was close listener. One
Of the girls finally remarked, "Well,
| guess he's rich, for saw him COM
ing out Of a bank the other day."
"And guess he drives a street car"
put in the old lady, "for / saw him
jump of a car one day last week."
simpkins rang the servants bell
violently rev norninss aimee, and
called Bridget to explain why the hot
water for shaving had not been
brought early, as he had ordered.
"Shure, sir, didn't bring it up and
lave It at the door last night, so that
you could have it in good time.
Simpkins did not talk back, but took
cold water shave that morning.
A case of general average: Aren't
you rather old to ride for halfprice
said Ger conductor to the elder Of
two boys. "Well," remarked the
youth, II am under fourteen, and the
boy with me is under six. That don't
make twenty, and you will take two
boys under ten for half-priee EACH"
And he took them.
When the Hon. S. s. Cox was look.
ing at the great Corliss engine at the
Centennial last week, he asked the
guard standing near what horse power
the engine had? the reply came, with
an amazed look "Why, you id
fool, youi it don't run by horses they
| use steam."
A Wisconsin editor illustrates the
prevailing extravagance of the people
of the present day by calling attens
ton to the costly baby carriages in
use now, while, when he was baby,
they hauled him around by the hair
of the head.
He was too solemn a preacher; he
didn't suit ir Nevada. The chairman
Of the farewell committee oppressed it
well; said he: "Now you can git,
pard; we amt agiu religion cut here,
and it rifles US to see a feller spilin' it.
| Git"
"Why is it, my dear sir" said
Waffies' landlady to him the other
day, "that you. newspaper men never
get rich ?" "I do not know" was his
reply, "except it is that dollars and
sense do not always travel together"
Any excuse better than none. A
topper says he would be a temperance
man in minute if it wasn't for his
wife. He knows she'd be lonesome if
she hadn't something to jaw about
and find fault with.
| Norwich Bulltein: An indignant
correspondent wants to know which is
the worse, a highwayman, or a grocer
who gives false measure. We should
say it was about the same-both of
them lie in weight. ,
/ When California woman defeated
lion in hand to-hand combat, the
neighbors were greatly astonished, but
her husband quietly remarked: "Oh,
that's nothing: that woman could
lick the devil"
"Have you seen my black faced
antelope ?" inquired Mr.. Leoscope,
who had collection of animals, OF
his friend Bottlejack. "No, l haven't.
Whom did your black-faced aunt
elope with :"
The iron PROV of the old steamer
New Jersey, the first and smallest
{ steamer that ever CROSSED tho Allan
tic, is in South Amboy, N. j., and
will be exhibited at the Centennial.
~ narrowly escaped being cut of
with a shilling" said solemn young
man. "How did you escape itP
, asked bystander. my father haG
no shilling" was the solemn reply.
Brother, why don't you ask the
stranger to pray 2" Because" /" reprov'
ingly replied deacon, "this amt nc
: place for practical jokes. That mans
the President Of a gas company"
,, Let us carefully observe those gooG
qualities wherein our enemies exec
us; and endeavor to excel them by
!. avoiding what is faulty, and imitat
ing what is excellent in them.
A Milwaukee man went to a meet
|. ing in London one evening, and wher
the cockneys said, Gear, ear" h