The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1876-01-20
THE THERMOME FER MAN IN.
DETROIT.
From the Detroit Free Press.

He was way.worn man from the East.
and he had thirty.seven thermometers in
basket on his arm. After standing on
the street corners for two or three hours
without making sale, he started for the
eastern part Of the city, hoping to do bet.
ter among the private houses. He SEEM
ed to gain confidence from the cheerful
look Of the dwellings, and he bore him.
like banker as he assembled the steps and
pulled door.bell.
''Nothing for the poor" said the lad;,
as she opened the door.
''l'm not soliciting for the poor-I am
selling thermometers" he replied in a
bal,ny voice.
''Don't want any-bought our stock in
the Fall,'' she said drawing in her
head.
II said thermometers, Madam" he call.
ed in adespairing voice.
II know it; but we've got all the vegct-
ables we can use," she called back, and
the door struck his toes.
Going to the saloon on the corner the
man addressed the proprietor with a
sweet smile, asking:
"Would you like thermometer to-
day 20
"By de pushed p asked the saloonist.
"No-a thermometer-a little instru.
ment for telling you when it is cold or
warm.''
"Any music-box in it ?" inquired the
saloonist.
mo; it records the weather.
"What wedder =
"Why, the weather we have every day
in the year. When it is warm this little
bulb runs up; when it is cold it sinks
down.
"Umph! When it ish warm dakes my
goat off when it ish gold but more goal
in der stoaf. Go und sell dat to some
schmall poy as knows noddings!"
The thermometer man entered q carpet.
weaver's, and bow.backed man nodded
kindly and cordially welcomed him.
accurate thermometers for only
twenty-five CENTS" said the pcddler, as he
held one up
"New thing 7" asked the weaver, as he
took ono in his hand.
eve have had thermometers for many
them household necessity"
':Zero? Zero? Who was Zero !" ask
ed the weaver, reading tn e word behind
the glass.
The thermometer man explained, and
the weaver, after trying to get his thumb
nail under the glass, asked:
"Whcre does the blamed thing open p
Thermometers are not meant to open,
my friend, was the reply.
swell, don't want any Thermometers
around me that won't open !" growlea
the weaver. II thought it was new
kind of stove-handle when you came in,
or shouldn't have looked at it!''
The thermometer man next tried 4
dwclling.housc. In answer to his ring,
the door WAS instantly and swiftly OPEN
ed by red-faced woman, who hit him
with club and cried out:
''l'll learn you, you young william T.
She apologized and explained that
several bad dogs had been ringing the
door-bcll, and ne forgave her and said:
81 have some accurate and handsome
thermometers here. Would you"
1--WE never have hash for breakfast"
she interrupted. my husband dctests
hash, and so don't want to buy"
ASS0 "A 1uefmOmeCeT mas QOLulnH
to do with hash!'' he exclaimed.
swell, I can't help that" she replied,
lowly crossing the door" We navn't
anv lamps to mend, and you shouldn't
track the steps in that way"
There was portly man crossing tho
street. and the thermometer man beckon.
cd to him, halted him, and when he got
near enough asked:
"Can l sell you an accurate thermom-
eter to-day
"A what!''
"A thermometer
"What do Iwant with thermometer!
exclaimed the portly man, raising his
voice peg.
"Why, to note the weather.
"You blamed idiot! Do you suppose
I run the weather p roared the fat man,
growing purple in the face.
"But you want to know when it is hot
or cold, don't youP'
''Am I such An old fool that I don't
know when it's summer and when it,
winter p shrieked the fat man.
1--WE all know, Of course" replied the
stranger; g but every respectable family
has thermometer nowadays"
'rhey have. CHI I never had one, nor,
wouldn't have one, and do YOU dare to
tell that amt respectable y screamed
old portly.
I