, 1876-05-21

I va bells can De made as good as .new one.
Old bellies can't
| Spilldns says there are two ways. in rb,,
"fair, fat, and forty" makes itself ce uspf1,or.
viz: its waste Of sishs, and its size, of waist
4 moment Of triumph. House! lunter nh,
has just been shown the best furnis led rnon :,
the house: "Ahem! suppose you use th;s a. :,
storage-room."
| The thirteen girls who graduate At the T1d.,
| (N. H. Seminary next month will graduate :,
calico. It will look odd to see 3 gtrl IN = :,
dress picking up $H bouquet.
From the wi1ds Of Washington Ter-;,o-
comee the cry, "send US wiyes!b Ind raanv3
sad-eved Benedict who reads this item wili d.s
voutly wish he could respond to the call.
4 Down-East editor says: "Thc ladies, sn,f,<
hats are pretty, and worn On the upper edge 4
[ tue left ear, which makes one Iook arch md
1 piquant, Ike chicken looking through qacs
| in a fence" >*
4 Christian husband who felt too tired to ~
TO inc corner drugstore and get his wife feH
ounces OF cough-drops, revived enough to eseort
pretty seamstress home through rainstorm
the same evening
! AS the morning train reached Jersey fiats m
| Monday, very pert young man leaned forward
and addressed lady whom he had never before
| seen. "1hese are the celebrated Jersey fats,
III
she promptly replied. "Ah, yes, twins, Isee.n
The Mississippi women are chewing sunft NM
more than ever. When man On tie Tennes-
see frontier comes home late his wife can pro
orally tell whether he's been in Mississinnf nrs
hot, by the stains on his lips.
Appearances are often deccitfnl, but when &.
man who Is engaged to O red-hcaded girl is seen
at midnight With both AIMS round stfeet-1amp.
telling It it Is too sweet to live, it is usually saf5
to presume that a new kind Of Temperance bitI
ters has been introduced into the neighborhood.:
The New York Sun is writing against e1pen-
siVe funerals It somehow never did look right
Tor man to spend $2,0o0 burying the wife who
could neyor get anything better than q delaine,
dress out OF him while Iving.-Dd,ois Es
Press.
Tme-sunaay afternoon. scene-Doorwsy
OF house on Columbus avenue, Boston. Dra-
mats PersenR-foung gentleman caller and T.
year-old sister Of talr one called upon, aIa
Carrie at kome?v "No>" AGone to chu,chan
- m"No-Mlldam." "Alonea'' "No-s felier. "
Good-by."
Rusk:n observes that, as rule, women hays
obliged to spend three quarters OF q day in eet-
ting the exact shade OF ribbon to trim a dress
wln!c, When it comes to reseating her husbands
pantaioons, she seems to think that q yellor
patSh Is Just the thing to match black broad-
A,e1 ~ IA tue pallor. anu ne squeezed her
hand. :" Oh. would this hand were mine in be-
sighed. .WhyF' she simpesed- ss Because, il
IT were mine, could knock bullocks down with
it better'n with sledge-hammer The last
sex seen 4 OF that young man he was trying to climb
On the top Of the house by meaus.of The wate1~
spout.
Mrs: Dip7er ito Jonesv, who is deeply in n.
Iears req, Tor board: "afr. Junesy, won't you step
With you Jonesy: f+Really, Mrs Dipper, q
sooqld 81 IKE to accommodate you; but what Enh
the boarders say at seeing us alone! Think on
tae II scandals going Through the papers, madam.
Oh! no; excuse me-> -
There is one thing on which 4 husband and
wife never have and never tan agrcc, and that
e., g On what constit utes welEbcatcn carpet
& Mnen a the article is clean it's mans impression
that 1t should be removed, and he he allowed to :
wash ", and quietly retire But a woman's ap-
aetlte o for earpe tcbeating is never appeased
Fh1e man has whole muscle in his body.
ard L be waltes4 until she voluntarily gave tie :
4, to stop be might beat away pntil he
ucpped down dead It is directly owing to his
u.?er1or strer 9Th of mind that the civilized
'cFld is not widow this day,-Danb.ay Naa.