The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1876-06-16
MOPP'S ADVENTURE WITH A CALF.

|. Cleveland, Ohio.
MOPP'S ADVENTURE WITH A CALF.
Samuel Mopps Esq, bachelor and
butter merchant, was spending month
at his friend Grigg's pleasant little
country place, few miles away from
the noise, hustle and confusion of the
great metropolis, enjoying the society
OF Mr.. and Mrs. Grigg's and laying in
a supply of pure, unadulterated ozone
to carry him through the long, sultry,
summer days before him.
He was quiet, sedate and respecta-
BILE member of society, marked "safe"
in commercial registers, and ''eligible"
in matrimonial circle. Served out by
nature with a short, stout figure, an
accommodating, good Eatured dispo-
sition, and by the dentist, with first
class set of false teeth, Samuel Mopps
laughed at the toothache, twins, thin
men and tough times.
A week after his arrival in the coun-
try, business of a pressing nature call
ed his host to the city, and Mopps hav-
ing promised to take charge and look
after bis household gods and goddesses
until his return, found himself duly
installed as general utility man.
''Have you fed the calf yet?" inquir-
ed Mrs. Griggs, pleasantly, at breakfast
the morning following her husbands
departure.
Not yet, replied Mopps. 81 didn't
know whether he would be up so early
or not"
She smiled, poured out his coffee,
and said:
II am afraid he will be hungry"
''What does he generally eat for his
breakfasts" asked Mopps, who knew
no more about calves than lie did
about the Tower of Pisa
''Why, milk, to be sure" laughed
Mrs. Griggs.
"Yes. of course" said Mopps, try
ing to conceal his ignorance and appear
perfectly az tait on the subject, yet
wondering with all his might and main
how he was going to get the milk into
the animal, whether they played it
down his throat with hose, or his
calfship sucked it through traw like
sherry cobbler, or was in the habit
of having it spooned into him.
After breakfast Mrs. Griggs handed
him an immense tin pan, filled to spill
ing point with lacteal calf diet, and he
started for the barn, fairly stopping
with energy and milk. On his arrival
at the barn, he laid the milk-pan softly
on the feed chest, took seat beside it
and spent the next ten minutes in cal
culating how much new Iair Of pant
aloons would cost to replace the milk
stained ones he had on; then he arose
and went to have look at his calf
ship.
He found him close at hand occllpy-
ing the whole first floor of q stall, and
anchored to the manger by long rope
He was glad of that, not that he was at
all afraid, still he thought it proper
precaution, and demanded his favora.
BILE notice.
The calf looked as big again as a
whee[barrow, and twice as ugly. His
outer garments were OF a sausage
brown color, freckeled with white
spots,a villainous looking head, a bud
ding tail and stilt-like, legs, which
made his tout ensemble anything but
progressing.
Mr.. Mopps did not talk much to
him, and as the other did not appear
conversationally inclined, he brought
the milk-pan over, entered the stall
boldly and confidentially, held it out
to him at arms length, and invited
his attention to the repast, by calling
him:
pretty fellow pretty Galley comel
come! comem
He came at last, came with his head
down, the speed OF a locomotive and
the force of a nitro glycerine explosion
There was frightfnl collision, rat
ting of the tin pan, as it knocked his
false teeth nearly down his throat,
bathed him with milk, peeled square
inch of skin off his nose, and when
that gentlman tried to pick himself up
out of the corner, few moments later,
bis first impression was that the barn
had been struck by lightning. he was
nearly Up, when the brute dropped
his head, took a run and butted him,
near where his suspender buttons were
sewed on, hard enough to knock down
stone wall, and Mopps had an indis-
tinet trecoliection of trying to drive his
dOoo thiOlSA TIC lhoh6ci3 "Ath "a VIZ
olence that started his scalp and loos-
ened the heels of his boots.
When he came back to conscious
ness he climbed over the manger, sat
himself down on corn-sheller and
tried to remember how it all came
about; by the time he had got it salts
factorily thought out, he was mad
enough to break the calfs backbone,
and all the commandments, into pieces
an inch long. Arming himself with
rake, he crept around, thrashed the
Internal slobbering brute up into a
corner, raked his false teeth and the
pan ont of the straw, and went back to
the house to repair damages
"Gracious mel What's the matter,
Mr.. Moppsr' exclaimed Mrs. Grigs, as