The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-08-23
A Coats Fourth OF July.

The st. Louis Republican has the
following: A goat proved himself on
the fourth to be as patriotic as anybody
in st. Louis, at least he made rs fine q
display of bunting as any house on the
street. There was a novelty about bis
bunting, of course. The bunting on the
stores down town showed stripes fire.
quently perpendicular, with a batch OF
stars i'll the corner, while the goat's
bunting was strictly in a horizontal line,
and the only stars connected Herewith
were those observed suddenly by the
various hunters.
The goat probably wouldn't have been
30 patriotic but for the boys. He was
nibbling the scant herbage beside the
street on the morning OF the fourth,
when he attracted the attention of q
group of the worst youngsters in the
ward, and they resolved upon the bril-
liant expedient OF tying bunch of
crackers to his tail, just to see what he
would do. They surrounded the goat,
and, after infinite strategy and final
desperate battle, captured him. Then
came the task of attaching the bundle of
crackers to the animals tail, and diff
cult task it proved.
Goats in general have no tail to speak
of, and the Monroe street goat in par.
ticular is caudally deficient. His tail is
only an inch long, perfectly smooth,
and with an unwavering tendency to
point toward the zenith. The boys tried
for half an hour to fasten on the crackers
without success, until one boy, who had
learned to tie some kind of a sailors
knot, accomplished the feat thoroughly
and satisfactorily. Then the crackers
were ignited and the boys formed hol-
low square about the goat awaiting de-
velopments.
At the first fizz OF the burning crack
ers the animal leaped perpendicularIy
five feet upward and came down stiff
legged, casting at the same time dread
fully interesting look over his shoulder
at its rear. AS the fizz changed into
flaming sputter it leaped higher still and
came down more stiff legged than be.
fore and then begun shying about side
ways.
The boys, previous to affixing the
crackers, had taken the goat into q yard
with high board fence about it so that
1t couldn't get away, but they still re-
mained in q hollow square to observe
the phenomena of the occasion more
closely.
Soon the first cracker exploded, and
then followed. q frightful scene. The
goat took in the situation fully, and then
became a baneful Nemesis. With a re-
vengeful "bla-a-a alb" and a rush he
knocked corner boy out of that hollow
square and a rod away, and then wheel
ed like lightning and charged again.
The boys started for that fence in a wild
Qt0 roNpRn h1,f not Of
1t. The goat shot about like a giant
boy that boy went to grass total
wreck. The crackers roared and famed.
and the goat r, sembled n comet with a
fiery tail, caroering through the air, as
he bounded from side to side and smote
the hapless boys.
Before the bunch of crackers was half
gone every boy was down, and all afraid
to get up before tho raging beast, save
one boy who was lying close to the fence,
and thought he might get over before
tho whirlwind would reach him. He
made the attempt, but wasn't quick
enough, and dropped just in time to let
the goat pass over him with terrible
force and pass through the fence like a
cannon ball, carrying off board as he
went. The boys rushed to the gap thus
made, and saw ball of fire far down the
street, going at the rate of 1000 miles
an hour, and they saw no more goat on
tho fourth Of July. On the next morn
ing, however, the animal was feeding
about in his accustomed haunts, and
but for the blackened stump of a tail
and sinister CLEAN in his eye, no one
would have supposed that it had aided
in celebrating the centennial fourth.