davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
soaring Him off the Track.

A young man of poor but honest parents, went
to see his sweetheart on Thursday night. Her
youngest brother, during the "crimping interval"
entertained the beau as follows:
ISIS says she's going ter. shake you, she isr
"Ah" exclaimed the astonished young mau.
"Yes, she is; she's got You dowr for grand
bounce, she has
"Why, howT
"Well, now, ther amt no use for you to chaw
dictionary bout it, NEITHER canse Their amt no
discount on Sis-she's he old gal when she
starts"
"My goodness grac-r
'She says she goes out with you an tramps
round jess as lonesome some ole married cow
an when yer treats it amt ter nuthin bit cheap
ole sOdy water at er nickel quartz
The young man sighed and reached for fan.
''She SEE She wants fellow that's got sum
stile about him, an kin set up a square meal ter
his gal when he takes her gallavantin, she
doesw
The young man rummaged for his handkerchief
81 tell yOu wOt it is, boss, my Sis amt no
SLOUGH, an when she gifts her crank in her head
dad SEE she grinds it wuss ole rickety
mill. She's goin' for yer, an she'll tell all the
other gals to shoot the miser an yer jess bet
they'll do it, cause they can't go back on Sis
not much"
The young man was climbing down the front
steps.
just then Sis entered, and Johnnie explained
how he had 'giv' the ole dugout big wabble"
But Johnnies opinion, since his daddy let go
of him, is that if he had been Sitting Bull during
the performance he would now be sore in anoth.
er locality.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

AUSTIN, New Rereile: He was seedy and bat
tered, aud he looked powerful" dry. He enter
ed Main street saloon and, approaching the bar,
said to the barkeeper: "It's good ticket, amt
itr First rat" replied the barkeeper "You
betcher life them's my men; Hayes'n Wheeler
fur me. 'Rah for Hayes'n Wheelerl Set out
some O. yer Publican whiskey, barkeep." "My
FRIEND" replied the barkeeper, you're a little
of; this is Democratic house." Thunder ~
exclaimed the soaker, "the Dimmycrats amt got
nobody to boiler for yit, and Fm as dry as a pow
der horn, and not cent betwixt me and eterni-
ty." My friend" said the obliging barkeeper,
while differing with you in politics, can not
his y 'Snd Sppe a. so",s sS ~, 70 some OF
lightning kept for the special use of "stiffs.D
The 'stltt" poured out glassful of the stuff aud
emptied it into his throat, and when he got
through coughing and wiping his eyes on his
coat sleeve, said: II amt got money, but if
was the Comstock ledge I'd bet myself ag'in a
Lander Hill razor blade that them burned Black
Republicans don't git away with the ensooin'
election
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
Erifz,s TraubIes.

| Fritz has had more trouble with his neighbor.
This time he determined to appeal to the majesty
of the law, and accordingly consulted legal
gentleman.
How vos dose tings," be said, "ven valare's
got garden und der odder yalare's got some
shickens eat um mp. Don't you got some law for
dot Z"
"Some ones chickens been destroying your
garden ?" asked the lawyer
STRAW in mine gardenl Nine, it vOs vegeta-
bles."
"And the chickens committed depreciation on
themf"
''lsh dot so 7" asked Fritz in establishment.
"And you want to sue him for damages ~ con-
tinued the lawyer.
'Yaas. Gott for tamages, md der gabbages,
md der lettnges."
did you not notify him to keep his chickens
upr
"Yaas, ! did Modify him."
"And what did he sayi"
'He Modify me to go to haal, und wipe mine
shin down of mine vest"
"And he refused to comply with your just de-
mand 7"
"Heyi"
ale allowed his chickens to run at Target"
"Yaas. Some vOs large und some vas leedle
valares, but dey hos scratch mine garden more
as Ger seven dimes eech."
well, you want to sue him n
"Yaas, want to sue him TO make yone blank
fence up sixdeen feet his house all around, yot
der dam shickens don't got over"
The lawyer informed him be could not compel
the man to build such fence, and Fritz left in a
rage, exclaiming:
Next summer time raise shickens too, YOU
bate. l raise fghtin chickens, Ply taml Wipe
off yours vest down." A14EE
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
MsefnI aud Gnriuns.
CANNING FRUIT.


A lady in the Farmers Stock JourHG, says
Since fruit promises to be abundant this year,
We would advise housekeepers to can large guam
titles of it. If it is we'll put up il will keep for
years. This summer We have been eating fruit
which was canned three years ago. and think it
quite as nice IN every respect as that canned
year ago. When fruit is scarce, and consequent
ly dear, people think they must abstain from
eating it; bnt when abundant, aud consequent
ly cheap, they seldom think of laying by enough
TO carry them over the season of scarcity. There
are seldom two good fruit years in succession,
hence good rule is, sin time of plenty prepare
tor time of want"
How much one shall can, mnst be decided by
the number in the family and their capacity"
for fruit. For family of three or four, two
hundred quart cans six barrels of apples for the
winter and spring, and fresh fruits in their sea
son, will not be too much. We imagine We see
some of our readers holding mp their hands in ut
ter amazement, and wondering if family would
not have to eat all the time, in order to devour
that quantity. In order to assure them to the
contrary, we can truthfnlly say that We know a
family of three, living on two meals day, who
manage to dispose of about that quantity, and
they do not look like giuttons, either. Do they
have anything else to eatf you wonder Well,
yes; plenty of bread, butter, milk, eggs, and
vegetables, very little meat, very few pies pud-
dings or cakes; fruit takes the place of all these
and although the woman in that house has to
bestir herself during fruit time, yet during the
rest of the year her cooking is easily done.
What cans are bestf Nearly all the glass cans
now IN the market are good and SO are the tin.
Some people say: "Oh, can't eat fruit canned
IN tin" Well, If they can not, it is because they
do not know how to can it.
Most of the canned fruit in market is in tin
and some of it is very good, though not so good
as one can prepare for herself for whstever il
done by the wholesale is usually poorly done.
Now for the process Cleanse the cans thor
oughly, and test them to ascertain if they leak
oraN bad .vAf& 81 4 III
pair them, or send them to the timer for repairs
If glass cans are defective, do not use them for
canning, but keep them for storing things in the
pantry. When the cans have been cleansed, put
warm water in them in dish pan just before
canning, have ready another pan of water quite
hot, and put in two or three cans that have been
warmed in water; take out as you are ready to
fill with fruit, and stand them upon hot plat
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
Pats EuIogy ON General burnside.

A gentleman in Washington reports for the
drawer" the following colloquy be lately over
heard in that city by two SCARED veterans :"
PAT.-"Jamie, did ye liver know Gineral Burn
sidei"
JAMIE-"No, / uiver had the honor"
PAT.7'Well, he's the foinest gintleman in
tn worrald. Och, but didn't he set his heart by
his soger boys! | mind me well whin was in
the ould bloody Sxty-ninth Rigimint, and at the
furst battle of Bull Run. At the very furst VOL
ley We resaved from the inemy the Gneral rode
over like the divil to our regmnt and stopped
in front of me- and SEE be to me, SEE be, "Corpo-
raj McQuinn,' are You hurtf No, SIR SEE L.
Them SEE he to me, SEE he, let the battle go
on.'n
1t went, on though our people didn't seem take
much interest in the ight.-Harper's for Septem-
Der. 80.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

You MUsT TAKE SKUNK-An exchange, illus
trating the position of the Cincinnati Enquirer
and other anti-Tilden Democratic papers, relates
the following story:
Several young men in the West went out hunt
ing. They had nothing to eat for whole day
They came in, in the evening and one had sauir-
rel, another had pheasant, another had venson,
another had quail, and so on They prepared to
cook their supper. One threw in quail, another
threw in pheasant, another threw in yenson,
aud another threw squirrel in the pot, and ] sup.
pose in order that they might have a real good
meal, another threw in a skunk"
The other men said: "What did you throw ini''
He said: 81 threw in a skunk"
why, great God :" they exclaimed, eve don't
want any skunk"
We'll, said the other, lyon will have venison,
and quail, and pheasant, and squrrel-fOur
things You do like, and you must be satisfied
with one thing you don't like. You must take
skunk"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

Symptoms of a Diseased Liver.
DAM in the right side, under theedge
i Of the ribs, increases on pressure;
sometimes the pain is in the left side; the
patient is rarely able to lie on the left
side; sometimes the pain is felt under
the shoulder-blade, and it frequentlye x-
tends to the top of the shoulder, and is
sometimes mistaken for rheumatism in
the arm. The stomach is affected with
loss ofappetite and sickness; the bowels
ingeneral are costive, sometimes alterna-
tive with lax; the head is troubled with
pain, accompanied with dull, heavy
sensation in the back part. There is
generally a considerable loss ofmemory,
accompanied with painful sensation of
having left undone something which
ought to have been done. A slight, dry
cough is sometimes an attendant. The
patient complains Of WEAKNESS and de-
bility; he is easily startled, his feet are
cold or burfing, and he complains ofa
prickly sensation of the skin; his spirits
are low; and although he is satisfied that
exercise would be beneficial to him, yet
he can scarcely summon up fortitude
enough to try it. In fact, he distrusts
every remedy. Several of the above
symptoms attend the disease, but cases
have occurred where few ofthem existed,
yet examination ofthe body, after death,
has shown the LIVER to have been ex-
tenSiyely deranged.
AGUE AND FEVER.
DR.. c. McLANE's LIVER PILLS, IN
CASES OF AGUE AND FEVER, when taken
with Quinine, are productive of the
most happy results. No better cathartic
can be used, preparatory to, or after
taking Ouinine. We would advise all
who are afflicted with this disease to
give them FAIR TRIAL.
For all Bilious arrangements, and as
a simple purgative, they are unequaled.
BEWARE OF INVITATIONS.
The genuine DR.. c. McLANE's LIVER
PILLS are never sugar coated.
Every box has a red wax seal on the
lid, with the impression DR.. McLANE's
LIVER PILLS.
The genuine McLANE's LIVER PILLS
bear the signatures of c. McLANE and
FLEMING Bros. on the wrappers.
E9- Insist on your druggist or
storekeeper giving you the genuine
DR.. c. McLANE's LIVER PILLS, pre-
pared by Fleming Bros, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Sold by all respectable druggists and
country storekeepers generally.
To those wishing to give Dr.. C. McLAsK's LIVER
PILIs trial. will mail post paid to any part Of the
United States, box of Pills for twenty-five cents.
FLEMING BROS, Pittsburgh, Pa.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

SYRUP FOR PREsERvEs.-Take eight pounds
of bright, clear New Orleans or sugar-honse mo-
lasses, eight of pure water, and one pound of
coarsely broken charcoal. Boil together for TWEEN
ty minutes, and then strain through flannel
cloth folded double. Return the liquor to the
kettle, with the white of one fresh egg, and boil
moderately till the syrup forms a candy of the
desired consistency, and strain again. This syrup
is superior article for preserving pears, plums,
&c, for tarts, and is preferred by many people
to that made of the best sugar, being less liable
to candy and ferment.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
OUR COUNTRY, TO THEE

IAR-TAs Star-Spengled BenAey.l
Our country, to thee, In the lannon's fierce light
We have pledged the best blood Of the patriot stream
And the ending Of strife for the cause Of the Right
Found nation redeemed and with victory beaming ;
But the sword laid aside with the warriors pride,
Lei something 10 guard with vigilance tried
And the freeman 4 inst dnty, his soldering done,
Is In Peace 70 preserve what In Battle was won
From North unto South from the East to the West
Our dear land " free. cad the t,eer of all othersJ
To theEDen whoa met cooks dread crest
We have given hands and proudly their brothers
Not 20 Them 10 The blame; the In their name
Who'd rob our dead heroes Of honor and fame
And the way future warfare with broth ers to shun
Is in Peace 70 preserve what in Battle was won
No trust give we yet to the palterins crew
That would wipe the brave from history pages
Strip Lincoln and Grant Of the gories their due
And surrender US hack TO the slavedriving ages
In defeat they II return till success they shall earn
By faithfully coming the essou they learn;
Is in Peace to preserve what in Battle vas won.
Then, cheer I'LL the skies ring agaf with your cries;
For the Pride OF the and the statesman no mates
him;
The Republics great heart with his fortunes shall rise
And be glad hen in Washngfon place t nstates him.
After Lincoln and GraHt who more tt for our chant
As worthy OF Uncle sans Uentury Plant
Asour Hayes and Wheeler. whose purpose, begun,
Is in Peace to preserve what in Battle was won
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

TOMATO SoUP.-Scald and peel two quarts of
fresh, ripe tomatoes; do not break them or fork
them. Put them into porcelain stew-pan or
kettle, and pour over them two quarts of boiling
water and a teaspoonful of salt. Allow them to
cook slowly Covering Closely three-quarters of
an hour. Into a teacupful of cream that has been
boiled, mix smoothly two tablespoonful of -four
rice -four is preferable; add to the tomatoes,
and boil ten minutes. IL cream cannot be OBJ
tanned use milk, and when nearly done add
tablespoonful of butter. A teacupful of grated
corn, put in when the cream is added, is quite
an addition, and those who wish can add a few
Lima beans, that have been previously cooked.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

MRS. PARTINGNToN had just returned from q
shopping trip. As she seated herself ON a low
stool, to re-adjust her gaiters-somewhat disor-
dered by her morning Walk-she tenderly asked
ike" (profoundly Immersed in a big book, }
what he was readingi History" replied Ike,
without raising his eyes from the volume. aWhat
history !" continued the old lady, with a smile of
afectionate interest. IEHropean," Ike responded.
rather curtly. mo such thing" retorted the
now indignant aud surprised dame; II am only
tying my shoes"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
STEP OF THE CAMPAIGN.

BY GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSEND.
[AIR-GarrieE's Hearts Of OaEr1
Come. stand up, my lads to our noble career
10 honor we call you not cheat you like FOOLS
drilled in the camps nd been at the sci oos
Loyal hearts in our breast,
Gallant men at our head
We always are ready;
Steady, boys, steady
Wen march, and the traitor shall quail at our tread
We ne err see our foe s. bnt we give them repose;
They see u.s. Tut they add to woes;
They've laid down ther arms but the helpless they kill
And since they fight US, they stab still.
Sober tho tghts in our breast,
Gallant meI at our head,
We always ready;
Steady, boys, steady
Wen march, and the 10 sai shall rise at our tread
They swear they'll reform u.s. these Kn-Kiux thieves,
But q face like their leaders no soldier deceiyes.
One eye on the W hite House. the other greed
Betwixt his strabismus slipped William NJ Tweed.
Cold steel in eyes,
Gallant men at our head
We always are ready;
Steady, boys, steady.
Wen march. The imposter shall fly at tread.
Our hand to the plowshare shall not 90 back
From the white plume of Hayes to the pill makng quack
With gold for our labor, reform shall be sure.
And President wise make patronage pure.
Right aims at our breast
Honest men at our head,
We always are ready;
Steady, boys, steady,
Well march, and mothers shall pray at our tread.
Dear country triumphant her sons never tire
He standard is Freedom her motto yet Higher Z"
Then shake out the flag. step to the rhyme
of Hayes and of Wheeler, our God and our Timei
Hearts of zeal in our breast
Gallant men at our head
We always ready;
Steady boys steady,
Wei march, the world shall fall in with tread.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

TOMATOES AND CORN.-In baking. dish put q
layer of tomatoes about an inch in depth, (either
fresh or canned,) and on top few pieces of but
ter, and a small portion of salt and pepper; then
a layer of corn the same in depth, alternating
with corn and tomatoes until the dish is nearly
full, finishing with grated bread crumbs and
seasoning. Cover the dish closely, and place in
a moderate oven for half an honr; uncover, and
bake half an hour longer, with the fire little
hotter. In winter, when the variety of vegeta-
bes is so limited, this will be found quite an adj
dition
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
Tlle finn of the Ching.
ADowN N INJEANY.

Adown at Terre Hsute one day,
A trAin af twenty cars there lay,
And engine bfisflng for the fray
To rush them off and far away
Through Southern Injeany.
The bell il rung. the wistlew blew.
Counties and towns the train shot through
And timid geese in terror flew,
Afrighting all the feathered crew,
And cows, and sheep and horses, too,
AdOwn in Injeany.
When al. at once a coupling broke,
The hinder ear went OF in smokei
Twas useless t0 the gods invoke,
Adown in IHjeany.
But on the train sped like qnaili
What man could do would not avail;
Car followed car and left the rail-
And engine tOO,-sO runs the tale,
AdOwn in Injeany
Two relics only were there found:
smiling man sat on the ground,
And gazed esmPlacently around
His hand was cold and clammy;
And record of the engineer
This man. IL said got on the rear
And forward vOved till he got here,
And swallowed all, as doth appear;
They say his name was Sammy
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

RIPE CANTALoUPE PIcKLE.-Take one bushel
of cantaloupes, pare, and cut them into small
slips. Put them into stone jar, and cover them
with cold vinegar, letting them stand all night.
Throw that vinegar away, lit need not be of the
best kind,) and take two quarts of good vinegar,
six pounds of brown sugar, half an ounce of
alspice, and q few sticks of cinnamon. When the
mixture comes to a boil, throw in the canta-
lOupes and boil one hour, until they look clear.
Then put them away in stone or glass jars. They
must not be eaten for six weeks, and are better
the second year.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

GREEN TOMATO PIcKLE.-Take one peck of
green tomatoes. They are said to be nicer if
peeled, but that is difficult to do, and not
sary. Slice six fresh lemons without removing
the skins, but taking ont the seed. Put to this
quantity six pounds of sugar, brown or white
and boil until the tomatoes are transparent and
the syrup thick. Although some are prejudiced
against the tomato in this way, with many it is
favorite preserve, and may at least be found
useful when fruit is scarce.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

TOMATO CATsUP.-To every gallon of tomatoes
put four tablespoons of salt, four of black pep
per, one of cayenne pepper, three of mustard.
one-half tablespoonful Of ground cloves, and
the same of allspice. After having washed and
cut up the tomatoes, boil them for about twenty
minutes then strain them and add the spice, and
simmer the whole together slowly three hours |;
then bottle and seal
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

BEAN PIcKLEs.-They are delicate and very
tempting, yet easily made. Procure young beans
from the late crops; wash, and boil in slightly
sailed water till tender; drain them through a
colender or sieve, then dry with cloth. Pour
boiling vinegar, spiced to taste, over them re-
peat this two or three days, or until they look
green.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

To MAKE PICCALILLI.-To half bushel nicely
chopped tomatoes, which must be squeezed dry.
add two dozen onions chopped fine, one dozen
green peppers chopped, one box of ground mus
tard, one large root of grated borseradsh, nearly
pint of salt, four tablespoonfuls ground cloves,
four of allspice. Mix thoroughly in a stone jar
and cover with vinegar, making hole in the
centre to let the vinegar to the bottom.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

TOMATO OMELETTE.-The american Grocer tells
how to make very nice dish: Peel aud chop
five medium sized tomatoes; season with salt,
pepper, and chopped parsley; add one-half emp
of grated bread; beat four eggs to foam, stir
them into the tomato; heat spider kissing hot,
place piece of butter therein, turn in the mix
ture, let it brown for two minutes, and lap it
over the halt, serving it in turnover form on bot
plate.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
How to make Butter Hard I'm Hot Weather.

An English butter maker of large experience,
who is now on visit to this country for the pur-
pose of looking over our cheese and butter dali
ries, gives us the following information concern
ing method in practice among the best butter
makers of England, for hardening, or rendering
butter firm and solid during hot weather: Car
Donate of soda and alum are used for the purpose,
made into powder For twenty pounds of
butter, one teaspoonful of carbonate of soda and
one teaspoonful of powdered alum are mingled
together at the time of churning and put into the
cream. The effect of this powder is to make the
butter come firm and solid, and to give it clean,
sweet flavor. 1t does not enter into the butter,
but its action is upon the cream, and it passes
Oh with the buttermilk. The Ingredients of the
powder should not be mingled together until re-
CURED to be used, or at the time the cream is in
hechurn, ready for churning. = Watertorn N. u
Tines.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14
DOWN WITH DEMOCRACY,
By PROF. EMANUEL LGwESTHAL

[AR-The German Nat'snai Hymn: Hell Dir ina SIG.
krdnzrl
Champions Of knavery,
Thraldom and slavery.
Down with you, down.
Down with Democracy,
Southern hypocrisy,
Butchers OF Lincoln.
Hangmen of Brown.
Members Of Ku Klux banda
Tyrants with bloody hands,
Down and awayi
Live, nationality
Freedom, equality
Victory, Republicans,
Ours is the day!
Fav'ring our country's foes
Sammy abandoned u.s.
Left us in storm
Now-oh, how impudentt
He" would be President
Siding with Rebel banda
Hell bring reform,
Sons Of my fatheriandl
Steadfast for Hayes do stand,
Steasfast for right
Tilden and Hendricks
Failure man. "Tsugenichts."t
They do for darkness plead,
YOu-for more lightTt
Every good German man
Surelys Republican,
Now and always.
He IL patriot
who does for TiIden vote;
Ham wiz den Tilden denn
Hoch lebe Hayes:
TOW ga-nix." . good foruothing fellow.
Tine last words OF Goethe upon his deathbed
t"Houn veer den Tilden denn hoke laha Hsyssr'
Let US then defeat Tiiden, long live Hayes,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

We saw a mosquito work about ten minutes
yesterday, trying TO get bis bill through the skin
OF man who owes one years subscription.
How we laughed at the deuoraiized little insect
as, with look of disgust he folded up his little
bill, placed it in his pocket, and went for anoth-
ar victim.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

The dy season is at hand, and it will cost only
three onions to try the experiment of keeping
your picture frames, looking glass frames, ETC.,
from being -. =" -. all over by flies.
Paint your frames over with the liquid-Erie
Observer.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-09-14

THE London Nilk Journal says that pint of
milk, heated little, but not boiled, taken every
four hours, will check the most violent diarrhea,
stomach ache, incipient cholera, and dyseutery.