The Arizona sentinel., 1876-04-22
MISCELLANY.

OanO Tn mllQ form or reDuk0 to his wife, "that women are posses sed by the devil?' "Yes," was the answer, "as soon as they are married"
 While an Iowa woman was struggling in the water, and like- ly to drown, her husband yelled out: "New bonnet-swim for life!" and she kicked out and safe ly reached the shore.
 Breathes there a man with soul so dead Who never to himself hath said,
 l will family paper take,
 Both for my own and children's sake? If such there be. let him repent,
 And have our paper to him sent.
 "My dear girl" said young doctor to a young and beautiful patient, ''yOu must exercise for your health." "All right" cried the little coquette; "I'll run the risk and jump at the first offer." He gave her an opportunity,
 "Woman is a delusion, mad ame," exclaimed a crusty old bachelor to a witty young lady. "And man is always hugging some delusion or other," was the quick retert.
 Those old soakers never lack for argument. Lately one replied to a temperance lecturer by the fol- lowing poser: ''If water rOts the soles of your boots, what effect it must have on the coat of your sto. mach?"
 A man in White County, Indi- ana, recently had the coffin open ed so as to remove a brass breast pin from bis dead wife's body. He said it was all right to give her a respectable burial, but times were too tight to put on any ex- travagant airs.
 A Salt Lake Mormon has wrti ten to the Centennial Committee proposing to exhibit his nine wiv- es at Philadelphia "to illustrate one of the social phases of Ameri- can life" He adds that his wives are anxious to go,
 The time for a man to stand firmly by Jobs example is wheu he washes his face with home made soap and begins to paw around over the chairs with eyes shut, iuquiring for a towel, quick, and is told that the towel is in the drawer, but the keys are lost.
 A hundred years ago things were different. Since then we have sent England spelling bees, skating rinks, Moody and Sankey, Webster's Dictionary, Schenck and Andy Garvey, not to speak of two occasions when we sent her a large number of English troops for whom we had no more use.- NeoC Fork Her0Jd.
 A bill has been introduced into the Pennsylvania Legislature making it a penal offence to "point" a pistol, gun, or any fire arm at person, whether in jest or in earnest. What will the newspapers do for didn't know it was loaded" items:
 He was in a confidential mood when he went home the other night on the ferry boat, and said to the genetleman sitting by him |: "Pm happish man in New York. I donowe man shent. Pm gone home, an' if tholoman's settin' up Ill flicker, an if she's gone to bed I'll flicker any way. Pm bOunt' have shome fun"
 BoARDER.-"What large chick. ems these arew Landlady-"Yes, chickens are larger than they used to be. Ten years ago we couldn't get chickens as large as theSe." Boarder (wIth an innocent air)- "NO, I suppose not; these must have grown a great deal in that time." Landlady looks as though, she had been misunderstood.
 A Colorado paper, speaking of a recent wind storm, says that the gale was thickly freckled with things strange to the eye, things living and dead, that fitted hith- CT and thither, going and com ing, appearing and disappearing among the rolling pillows of sleet and dust, shingles, barrels, coal buckets, ashes and cinders, frag- ments of frame houses, horses, mules and wagons, while now and then a human form scurried down the gulch with the rush and roar of the tempest.
 A RICH SCENE.-The following rich scene recently occurred in one of our courts of justice, be- tween the judge and a Dutch wit ness all the way from Rotterdam.
 Judge: What is your native lan- guage?
 Witness: l pc no native, Is a Duf0h man