Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1876-05-11
A Proposed Lady washington Tea
Party

They were going to get up Lady
Washington tea-party for the benefit OF
their society. 1t was to come off on the
night of the 22d. And of an afternoon
few days before, several ladies met at Ile IIle |
house of one of the number to perez - tiLs
arrangements. 1t was determined ~ 70 SlIio
q grand affair-something espeol9lIy
signed to transcend the tea-paTty y d
val organization last year 10 9 lllla p1I- ptll
pose it became necessary ~ 4tI no gota;IS
most careful thought to all the detalls,
AMI tbis was done. In fact, 1t would De
1;tS3o,1If to find more conscientious COM
Tniftee in a hamlet the size OF Danbury-
When all the particulars were arranged,
and the various stands and minor offices
assigned to the ordinary members of the
society-whO were not pFesent-the i'm
pOrtant question as to who should take
the leading character was brought up.
With view to 10 without the delay and
feeling of ballOting, the President kindly
offered to do Lady Washington herself.
She said that she felt it was not a favor
able selection, but she was willing to take
it, so that there need be no discussion or
ill-feeling. If she thought she had not
placed a sufficiently modest estimate upon
her qualifications for the post, she was
presently set at rest ON that head. Her
offer was received with silence.
s.What do you think % she asked. Il m
willing to do it,
'sLady Washington never weighed $50
pounds" Ominously limited a thin lady,
with very light eyes.
ssShe had fat enough ON her to grease a
| griddle, which is mOre'n some folks can
claim, y retorted the President, with any
1 thing but dreamy expression to her
face. The tall lady's eyes grew a shade
| darker, and her lips shaped themselves as
l if they were saying "hussy," but it is
| probable they were not.
As our two friends are so little likely
to agree" observed a lady whose face
! showed she was about to metamOrphose
herself into barrel of prime oil, and pre-
cipitate herself onto the troubled waters
81 would suggest that 1 take the charac-
ter.'
"dumph 20 calculated the President.
FFIs there any objections to my bein {
Lady Washington 90 said the new party
facing abruptly the President, anC
emptying out the oil and filling up the
barrel Immediately with a superior grade
of vinegar.
E'I don't know of any. if some one vii
demonstrate that Lady Washington had {
wart on her nose, " replied the President
with unblemished serenity.
cam to be insulted ?'' hotly demanded
the proprietor of the wart.
''The truth ought not to be insulting,
replied the President.
| , pOSC our ICSluCGlb jIlllkS sic MOllAN
be perfect Lady Washington, - ironical
ly suggested a weak-faeed woman yvh'
saw her chances for taking the characte
dejectedly emerge from the small end o
the horn.
81 don't know as l would be perfect il
that role, " replied the President, "but a
there will be strangers present at tn
party, l shouldn't want them to thinl
that the nearest approach Danbury coul,
make to the dignity of '76 was tOothles
woman down with the jaundice.'' An
the head officer smiled serenely at tn
ceiling.
"What do you mean, you insinuatin
thing?'' hoarsely demandeded the victir
of the jaundice.
keep your mouth shut until you ar
spoken too, then, advised the President
''I'm not to be dictated to by a noun
tain of tallOw," hissed the chrOmatic dele
gate, fiouncing out of the room.
II think we'd better get another Presi
dent before we go any farther said
sharp-faced woman, very much depresse
by the outlook for 3rseIf.
, sit isn't hardly time for you yet,' oh
served the President, with a significan
look at the sharp-faced woman; 1--WE viii
have to arrange for Lady Washington
and George Washington before we vii
need the hatcbet.'
The sharp-faced lady snatched up he
muff without the faintest hesitation ant
rushed out doors to get her breath. Sh
was Immediately followed by the proprie
tor of the wart, the thin lady disastrous
ly connected with the griddle, and tn,
toothless case of Jaundice. This left bu
the Presidedt and little woman who haC
yet said nothing.
Has it occurred to you that you wouIt
like to be Lady Washington ?' asked TIN
President, concentrating both of her eye
on wen just under the small woman
left ear.
"Oh, no. gasped the small woman
impulsively, covering up the exeresenc
| with her hand.
''Then | guess we'll adjourn sine die,
said the President, and pulling ON he
gloves, she composedly took her depart
Ure.
And the tea-party became the fragmer
of gloomy memory.-DdnbaJy Neacs.