The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-04-26
DRUM MERS.
Persona Habits OF the Beasts and
Their Method OF Businehs-SOme OF
the Tricks Of Trade.

/
numerous class which is the subject OF
this sketch, you are presumed to be un-
acquainted with st least one species ofthe
geuus homo, aud your education broken
of at one of the most interesting points.
The drummer who ar-ogates to himself
the high.sounding title of commercial
traveller" is an institution in b mselt-a
sort OF necessary evil-which, while we
condemn, we are unable to do without.
His employer, who pays him two and a
half per cent. and all expenses paid" finds
him profitable investment, while the
country merchant to whom he sells his
wares regards him in the light OF an
economical labor-saving machine. He
takes his samples right to the of the rural
dealer al sells to him at the same prices
asked in the city. How can he afford to
do this! Oh! simple enough. Instead of
each merchant going to the city for sup.
ply of goods the system Of drumming or
ganizes them into clubs, and the drummer
is the ageLt. Supplying ten or dozen
country dealers in this manner, more than
enough money is saved from the funds
necessary Tor their entertainment while
In the city to pay the expenses of the
commercial traveller, however heavy they
may be. But enough of the business
WAYS of the beast. Let us return to a
personal description. The first requisite
for a drummer is cheek-pure, unadul-
terated cheek and he must have more
than a canal-horse is supposed to possess,
and of quality not whit inferior. He
must be posted on every event of of the
day, from the winner of the last prize
fight to the text of DIR. Surgeons last
sermon. He must be in favor of more
money while in the company of Imitation
lists, and be able to ride the contraction
nag when with the hard money men |;
must be Democrat if necessary, or a
rabid Republican, and ready at all times
tor Irritation with the fair ones he meets
on his travels. For their edification he
must sing the latest new sentimental song,
recite the latest poetry and describe the
latest social event, be it wedding, ball or
funeral. He should never admit that he
is u married man-Eay, not even if he
has MS many wives as Brigham Young
and should be able to deny the charge
with an unblanched cheek and an un-
finching eye. (Somehow, though, drum
mers never could do this; the effort is too
great-far too great
The latter day drummer is always
gentleman, and, in proof OF it, he boards
ut first-class hotel; smokes lntimidad
cigars or St. James cigarettes; drinks
sour mash whisky at twenty five cents q
l.: .ko ElAkn tnhopnn Which ha
carries in silver box; is an expert at
billiards and able to button five cards at
keno; must know how to keep q tab at n
fsro-bank, and be on speaking terms with
the Dealers he must be well posted in all
matters sppertain!ng to the turf and
should excel generally, in all the fashion,
able vices and accomplishments peculiar
to the "fas." portion of our young gentil-
ity; and, finally, his card must be the
open sesame to the various pleasure pal
noes which sdorn(?) our goodly city. He
must be, and generally is, in all essentials,
a man of elegant leisure, whose tasks are
generally self-imposed. and who per
forms what little labor be thus intlcts
on himself rs it it were the greatest pleas
ure in the world. His zeal evlnces itself
in the most assiduoYs and unremitting
attention 20 his country customers, whom
he considers as his private stock in trade,
who. he presumes, is not posted in the
various sources OF amusement which the
great city affords. A first class hummer
oh. excuse us, we should say drummer
will never presume on the ignorance of
a rural friend and introduce HIM to the
beauties of the play through the gallery
entrance and finish upthe evening With.
a few glasses Of beer at some obscure gar
den and a han lful of Grabiola cigars. No,
indeed he will order a private-boy, or
reserved seats at least, and after tie per-
torrance, regardless OF expenses OF his
employer's pocket-bcok, order cham
payne supper at some fashionable restau-
rant Noble disinterestednessi He will
expend every dollar of his principals
cash ("Allow me to pay for this, charge
il to the firm. you knew, ha, hal rather
than miss a two-h1ndred dollar sale, on
which the house probably don't make =
per cent. Then, see how he sacrifices
himself, won't permit his guest to drink
or smoke withou. him, you know, or to
catch meal that would tempt the palate
of sn epicurc without sitting down with
him, Just to keep him company, you
know All this entertainment is Of
course disinterested on the part of Sir
Drummer and prompted by the purest
feelings OF friendship, and every move is
made and every card placed with view
to impressing the possible purchaser with
the idea it is all done out OF personal re-
gard Misguided country rooster! Ere
he is aware, he is inveigled into making
purchases far beyond his original inten
tions. and Tor which he pays prices that
am remu crate the firm and the drum
mer Tor their generous(f hospitality. Ii
is by no means an uncommon thing for
drummer. when he discovers country
dealer who is more verdsnt and unsophis-
ticated than the average, to remove for a
few days from his own to the quarters OF
his dear TREND, and by sleeping with
him, occupying the next seat a. the table.
and at ell times and in all conceivable
places by keeping near his person to pre-
vent the disbolosl Vaccinations Of the
vultures who represent rival establish
ments. less honest and less sacrificing
than himself, from proving detrimental
10 the interests Of his friend. For this
care he is called BY the rest of mis- species
all sorts of naughty names, but he laughs
slyly 10 lis sleeves. and despite all oppo-
sition, he pursues the even tenor OF his
way, selling men and goods, receiving
therefor his hArd-earned commission aud
tho the ME ~ his amnlovers