The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-02-19

This is the way Astors are made: A
Munson street man being told that there
were several pieces of tin which needed
mending, conceived the idea of getting
an iron and solder and doing the mend
ing himself. His wife, filled with vague
forebodings, perhaps, said that the ex-
pense was such a trifle that 1t would
hardly pay to do it oneself, to which he
responded:
It'll admit that in this one instance it
would not pay, but there is something
being in want of repair every little
while, and if l have the tools here for
fixing it, we are saved Just so much ex-
pense right along. 1t may not be much
in the course of n year, but every little
helps. and in time the total would
amount to nice little lump. We don't
want the Astors Juggling off all the
money in the country, by gracious!"
He got the iron lone dollar) and fifty
cents worth of solder, and ten cents
worth of rosin. He came home with
these things and went into the kitchen,
looking so proud and happy that his
wife would have been glad he got them,
were it not for an overpowering dread OF
an impending muss. He called for the
articles needing repair his wife brought
out a pan.
"Where's the rest? Bring 'em all out
I'm about it.
He got them all, and seemed to be
disappointed that there were not more OF
them. He pushed the iron into the fire,
got a milk-pan inverted on his knee, and
with the solder in his hand waited for
the right heat.
"That iron only cost dollar, and it'll
never wear out, and there is enough
solder in this piece to do twenty-five
dollars worth of mending," he ex-
planned to his wife.
Pretty soon the iron was at the right
heat, he judged. He rubbed the rosin
about the hole which was to be repaired,
held the stick of solder over it, and care
fully applied the iron. 1t was an in
tensely interesting moment. His wife
watched him with feverish interest.
He said, speaking laboriously Us he
applied the iron:
"The-only -thing- I-regret-
that-I-did- think of getting this-be-
forewe-"
Then assembled through that ceiling
and up into the very vault Of heaven the
awfullest yell that woman ever heard,
and the same instant the soldering-iron
flew over the stove, and the bar of solder
struck the wall with such force as to
smash right through both the plaster
and lath.
And before her Mortified gaze danced
her husband in an ecstasy of agony,
sobbing, screaming and holding on to
his left leg as desperately as if it were
made of solid gold and studded with
diamonds.
"Gct the camphor, why don't you?"
he yelled. Send for the doctor OH
oh-h, I'm dead man " he shouted.
Just then his gaze rested on the sol
dcring iron. In an instant he caught it
up and hurled it through the window
without the preliminary of raising the
sash.
1t was sometime before the thoroughly
frightened and confused woman learned
that some of the molten solder had run
through the hole in the pan and on to
his leg, although she knew from the first
that something OF an unusual nature
had occurred She didn't send for the
doctor. She made and applied the poul-
tees herself, to save expenses. She
said:
1--WE don't want the Astors Juggling
off all the money i'll the country, by
gracious !"
Come, Maria, don't you be too cum
ming" he sheepishly expostulated.-
Danbm'y Nens.