The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-10-15
INFiDEL BOB'S VISIT COVER
NOR HAYES FAMILY.
Hon. Rutherford Worried through
6race At Table and Fauii-
IN MnHShiD

COLUMBUS, ", oCt. IL nave been
informed that last week Gov. HAYES and
his excellent wife had the honor OF en-
tertaining Col. Bob Ingersoll at their
honorable mansion in this city: and
propose 10 repor; the affair in its details
exactly as IL occurred.
The thing was anticipated with some
apprehension by Gov. Hayes, who Is
really pious man. and who regards the
opinions and expressions Of the Peoria
orator with healthy horror. The chll-
dren were therefore sent away on a visit.
and the governor and his wife prepared
themselves for the coming of their guest
by carefully reading Noitaire and Tom
Paine, and by committing 10 heart such
passages of scripture a. might be useful
in confuting the arguments o! an open
mouthed iniidel.
Bob arrived Oh the quarter past I'VE
train. fresh from Indiana, and little
hoarse OF voice. AT the dinner table.
the governor manifested considerable
trepidatioD. and nervously began 10
sprinkle salt in his soup, but Mrs. Hayes
recalled him 10 q sense OF his duty by re-
marking severely:
Now Rutherford
The Republican candidate for pre.i-
dent dropped his spoon into the soup.
and. after CHANGING timidly asksnce al
the scoffer on his h-ft. bowed his head,
and began 10 humble grace in an inaudi-
bic voice. while the scoffer amused him
selfby tossing bits ofbiscuit into the air.
and Catching them in his mouth with
surprising dex,erity and precision.
After the blessing had been asked. and
while Governor Hayes was wiping the
preparation from bis brow, Colonel Bob
ItuL -ssA Il
want and than calmly proceeded 10 eat his
soup.
Tie estimabie host and his wife had
no more trouble until nine o'clock ap-
preached. This is the time for regular
evening prayers in the Hayes family, and
the governor felt that he should de-
grade himself in his own estimation and
lose dignity in the eyes Of his wife If he
should attempt 10 omit or slur over the
ceremony.
Yet there il reason 70 believe, from
remark he subsequently, made 20 Mrs.
Hayes. that when he arose and took
down from is shelf the well-wOrn family
Bible and cav ont OF The corner. Of his
eyes the sardOnic grin that oyer.pread
the broad features Of bi. guest, he would
gladly have thrown ambition 10 the
winds and given the nomination 10 Jim
Blaine II Bob lngersoll had only been In
-PeOria.
"It's our custom, be said, will mani.
fest confusion, ITO close the active work
Of the scriptures-I mean, 10 close the
scriptures with the. active day-that IL.
io-but If you have any conscientious
scruples-thai is, il you"
ION, bless you, chip right in" re-
marked Bob lngcrsoll, encouragingly.
"a ~
me more"
The servants We're called in, aud the
head OF the family proceeded TO read ner-
yously from the Acts. Ii must be said
10 Bob's credit that he listened to the
reading with great attention, and, with
the exception OF murmuring occasional
comments such as stuff Too thin 2"
Nov listen 10 that. will you - thrown
i'm at passages which did not meet his
own views, he acted as reyercntly as
could have been expected.
But when the family were kneeling at
their chairs, Bob Ingersoll, | very much
regret TO say, crawled noiselessly across
the floor OH his hands and knees and put
the good governor into nervous spasms
by tickling the sole of his stocking foot
with toothpick ; and then set the SER
wants into conyulsive laughter by rising
ana executing AN accurate imitation OF
the war di>ce of a Sioux brave, conclud-
ing with a war-whoop that wound up
the devotional exercises in confusion.
At breakfast the next morning Col In
gersoll found beneath his plate a tract
entitled Pause, Sinner pause" which
he pocketed with great gravity. as surfing
Mrs. Hayes that he should find il OF
value III his preparation Tor missionary
work among the heather OF Central Al
RIGA, In case OF Iilden's election.
At morning prayers the governor read
chapter of genealogies from the Old
Testament, as containing nothing that
Bob Ingersoll could possibly object to,
and kept one eye opened and fixed upon
his vlvacious guest throughout the devo-
tional exercises.
This is the unexaggerated story of In
gersolls visit to Gen. Hayes. / can as
sure your readers that there Is no founda-
ton tor the campaign falsehood which
accuses him OF stealing the Hayes family
Bible and trading it to am ltinerant
peddler for cigars. Nor is there par.
ticle OF truth in the charge that with the
burnt end OF match he drew picture
o. grinning devil on q beautiful
spatter-work motto ''lle giyeth his
beloved sleep" which Mrs. Hayes had
hung over the bed IN the spare chamber.