The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-01-08
Politeness.


err regard for the feelings, wishes and
pleasures of other people, is the thing
that, perhaps, o. all others, renders
life the easiest and the plcasantest; it
is the oil that enables all the wheels
of the complex machinery of social
life to work satisfactorily. What a
pity it is then that it should be dis
regarded as it SO frequently is in do
nestle life, the place where of all
others its softening influence is the
most required.
The constant intercourse of home
life causes unsuitable tempcrs and
dispositions to jar each other in a
manner hardly possible in general So
ciety-how unwise then it is to re-
linqnish the one quality which acts
as a species of buffer between antag-
onistic tcmperaments. Besides, it is
a cardinal mistake to regard polite
ness, as so many unfortunately do, as
a species of company Manners" to
be assumed or rclinquished simulta-
neously with our best Clothes; it is,
properly considered, a most valuable
quality, involving sclt-control, some
unsclfishness and a certain regard for
the feelings of others. We wish
we could regard it as by any means
a common virtue in the home circle,
but fear it is very far indeed from
being so; neither men nor women
are blameless in this respect, but
owing to their gentlcr and softer ma
lures women are less frequent offend
crs than the lords Of creation. Still
they frequently allow themselves
license in saying unpleasant things
to their own immediate belongings
that they would never talk in the
hearing of stranger. They argue:
sit is hard if you can't say what you
think to your own husband, or sister,
or other relative" Granted-but
the very same thing, if necessary,
may be said in different ways-why
not select the one which will neither
wound the feelings nor rouse the
temper of the listener?
Many of the bitterest and most ir-
reparable disagrccments in married
life have arisen, not from want Of alb
solutc affection but from a careless
ness on one1 side or the other, fire.
Quently on both, as to the manner in
which subjects on which there may
be a difference of opinion are re.
marked upon. 1t is almost impos-
siblc that two people can, even
though they be husband and wife,
think alike on every subject; the
probabilities are that on many their
opinions will be widely different.
Why, however, should they not be
as politely tolerant of each others
views in private as conventionality
would force them to be in public!
Why should the wife's expression of
opinion be received with "Mary,
don't be a fool" or the husband 5
with: "Really, John, YOU are quite
too silly"
We have already said that men arc
the worst offenders, perhaps because
they care less for, and consequently
think less of, the small courtesics of
life than do women. Still this rcflcc.
ton hardly consoles woman when
she finds her husband punctilious in
helping every other woman over the
raised stile, when he leaves her to
climb tive-barred gate unassisted;
nor is she free from certain feeling
Of modification when she finds he
considers it too much trouble to
dress for dinner with her alone, or
to vouchsafc an answer to a question
should he have the newspaper in his
hand.-Scientifc american.