, 1876-03-05

tho otncer- YOU so long! continueu TUG
parlor-game. an me and Jane arc playing agin
! John. We had him in q corner when you catno
in. and three more good lifts would havo counted
| hiu. QUIZ" The officer went away, and left them
| to finish the game aud John together.
ADEsT!NY ABOVE DOLLS.
| We (says the Omaha Herald met little girl on
Tenth street yesterday evening crying as though
her heart would break. "What's the matter sls-
81 ?" We asked. 'I,rother Dick stole my doll and
gave it to Lizzie Hing" sue said; aud ehe DON'T
need any doll, 'cause brother Dick and her are
going to get married and run away and start
circus" She todoled on, with tho big tears rnn-
ming down her checks, while she munched eec-
ton OF gingerbread that seemed to have no
effect whatever in corklnE up her 8orrows.
MISCELLANEOUS NOTES.
II crying babies had any senso, they never
would take their mothers to matinees.
It is said that figures won't lie; but the fig
urcs OF some women are very deceptive, to say
the least.
4 Danbury man had bag Of oats last week.
which he calls the Seamless, as they won't have
to be sown. Some one stole them.
4 Mexican girl living at Tusceolo has three
well-deyelopel arms. She eau do up her hair
without examining her mouth full Of hairpins.
Mother may 20 out to rop7
Yes, my darling d1ughter.
II you fail this year you must shut up shop;
You've kelt longer than you'd orter.
4 young man at Nashville killed himself be-
cause nc could not get another mans wife. It
il terrible to love somebody, and see her wash
ing windows for another man.
A father wants to know aNhat will keep \
respectable but poor young man from hanging
rounl the front OF thW house = Tell him tho
girl il sitting on the back fence.
ut doesn't take mo long to make mp my
mind, can tell you!' said conceited fop-
It's always 80 where the stock OF material to
make up is small" quietly remarked young
lady.
4 young man much enauored of witty
young lady attanpted to pns lis arm shout her
whist. when she remarked, quickly " Don't
you do it there's a pinback there" OF course
there was.
Women do moro head-work than man that is.
it takes some women four hours to do mp their
hair for an evening party while good smart
usn eau do his up in three hours and ffty Sec
onds, oasy.-DanomyN Nesrs.
A Wa.argllle girl worked tbs motto. IT need
thee everv hour" aud presented it to her cnap.
He SAYS he can't help it. 1t takes him two hours
to milk and feed the pigs. morning and night,
and business has got to be attended to.
The other dsy Boston belle rushed excitedly
into the house of friend to exhibit 3l73 silk
dress she had Just purchased and incidentally
mentioned. just before her departure, that her
father had failed the day previous and shut up
his store
.fou didn't laugh at ny stupidity before we
were married you always SAID l was duck Of
lover grunbied d complaining husband.
"Yes, that's 10" replied the wife; ''and duck
Of u lover is almost sure to make eooFe OF
husband"
Tho latest phase Of leap-yaar eccentricity is
recorded from Portsmouth. N. H.. where Indy
clad IN deep mourning pronenaded the streets,
tho other day, with ribbon in front Of her fore
head, on which was embroidered in white tho
aord "Alone."
In order to excite the ambition OF the young
Indies in her audience, \ lu}r lectnring on wom-
IN suffrage in Maine the other day, remarked
that, il women had political influence, chewing
gum would DO put on tue freq list, and kept
there forever.
"Aiu't it pretty 2" said ,frs. T., holding up her
new bonnet. s. THERE'S SONG charming ideas in
that, can tell You" .'Glad Of 1t, 5" said John.
s.It's just as we'll to have ideas somewhere about
your head, you know :" and ho paused to catch
hair-hrnsh on the dy.
4 Putnam lady tried on pair Of shoes the
other day and found q do!!ar-bi!i in one Of the
seams. Those Windham- County girls are always
Iucky It seems as it they never pulled on their
boots without finding NJ, umbrella. or an ulster,
or other really valuable articlea: hidden down
around the toes somewhere inside.-NoT1olch
Conn., Bu1atia. /
The native talent which woman dlsplayB for i
discovering foreign hair On her husbands
shoulder will always secure respect but, when
o man goes home and hnds that nis wife las |
contributed his Sunday pantaloons to the Home |
for Aged and INDECENT Females. It does seem as I
if tho female mind lacked those 1na d:scrlmnat- |
iug qualities which are essential to worldly snc-
cess.
A young woman, who appears to be opposed to |
girls being taught to sew. writes as follows to !
the Woman's Journal: "Some time since |
gentleman of Ithaca said, in quite company, |
mean to offer prize for the best ahi1t made /
BY the laay-studepts OF the Unsverslty.' II ]
: on do. rejoned, lmpulrivelr,; I will offer an
equal one for the best chemlse made By male
student, Ii IS poor rule that won't work both
ways"
It's bnd enough for man to have snakes in
bis boots, buL whak are We coming to Tnen
woman is attacked in tho presence OF loF1af
company at her own ho7Eo, as ono Has the
other night on South Hill. with rats in her
sleeve? Aud when the house looked as though |
q fre-ensne had been practlcing on it., and all |
The 1nesry-makers Were hoaree, and there WAS |
40 more cxmphor, her husband took her into |
Tho next room, where he fsaed ou. 4 leap-year |
neckt;e from her dsess-sleeTe.-Dur!inJt |
Haukeye.