The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-05-25
the line. Then Mr.. Baringer approach

WIG hno' lnen Mr.. barlnger apprOacn-
ed and smote the first carpet with a
long stick and the next instant he was
Keeling his way out Of q dense cloud Of
dust, coughing, sneezing and snorting,
and wildly gasping for air. lie went
around on the other side, and as he
aimed a terrific swipe at the
carpet, he struck the clothes
prop, and his ~nerveless arm stung
and tingled to his neck, while his wall
was heard down to the city building.
Then he got at it again and found that
his stick was too light, and he took an
other one Afew strokes sufliced to con-
vince him that it was too heavy and he
tried a lath. That broke in two at the
first blow and he tried an apple switch,
but 1t was too timber. He finally gave
up the idea of beating any more, and
called to Mrs. Baringer hat the carpet
was ready to be shaken. Mrs. Baringer,
with her head in an apron, came out.
They gathered the carpet, and Mr.. Bar
niger got the start of her and shook a
roll clear down to her hands, exploding
in a snap and a volcano of dust in her
face. Then she dropped the carpet and
sneezed and protested.
"You shook too quick, deary," she
said.
"But you said you were ready,
sweety," replied Mr.. Baringer.
"But you shouldn't be so rough,
lovey," she protested.
"Well, ] have to shake hard to get
the dust out, ducky," he insisted.
"Well, you needn't be so cross about
it, deary," she said.
"Oh WE'LL" he said, "you must ex-
pect hard work house cleaning days.
and you mustn't lose your temper,
sweety."
alt isn't mt that gets cross and jerks
people around, lovey," she said, "it's
you"
81 never jerked you around" he
retorted.
"Why, Aristarchus Baringcr!" cx-
claimed his wife, making very large
eyes at him and speaking in tones of
the greatest %amazement, "and maybe
you didn't tear the carpet up stairs,
either"
"Iwish your old carpet was in Hall
fax he said savagely. "Pick up that
end, and let's get through with it. This
is sweet work for adry goods salesman,
any how! Ready"
"No," she snapped, 81 amt ready.
Now wait. There! Hold on now; don't
be in such a hurry. Now"
And the next instant the carpet was
snapped out of her hands, and it did
seem as though her fingers had gone
with it, while Mr.. Baringer, pretending
not to know that it had fallen from her
fingers, kept on shaking violently at
his end, filling the air with dust and
grit. At this juncture, Mrs. Baringer's
mother, who had been a quiet spectator
of the carpet-shaking scene, approached
and called him to desist. Then she
gathered up the vacant end of the car
pet.
"Aristarchus," she said kindly, but
firmly, "Olivia is not strong enough for
such work"
Then she added:
"llave you got a good hold, Aristar-
chus?"
And Mr.. Baringer said he had.
"Don't let go, then, Aristarchus.
Ready"
They lifted their arms high in the all
and Mr.. Baringer is undecided yet which
part of him started first. He walked
up the whole length of the carpet on
his hands and then he fell over the edge
and banged along the walk on his hands
and knees until he reached the front
fence through which he plunged his
head and would have gone on through,
but for his shoulder catching against
the gate-post. The carpets did not go
down yesterday, and a big Irishman has
been engaged to come and welt the fuzz
off them tomorrow, Mr.. Baringer hav.
ing privately and with some asperity
informed his wife that he would rather
live, sleep and eat in dirt up to his eyes,
than ever again to sweep, beat or shake
the lightest carpet ever trodden by the
foot of man.-Burlington Hackeye.