The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-11-16
The Eastern Problem.

Miss Pennybun is not strong minded
and does not want to vote and hold Of
fee, or any of those horrid things, you
know; but she likes to keep posted on
current topics, and she reads the daily
papers like hero, or martyr, or both.
She had waded patiently through all
the accounts of the war in Turkey, and
almost dislecated her jaws and dazed
her brain in attempting to keep upwith
the times, but in spite of all her efforts,
she could never get at the bottom of
the affair, and had not the least idea
what it was all about. She shed many
tears on this account, and wondered
how it must feel to be a man and be
able to comprehend such deep and COM
plicated subjects, and talk on them as
fluently as she heard some of her mas
culine friends do.
One evening last week some gentle
men callers were discussing the "East-
ern question" with a great deal of
warmth and difference of opinion, and
Miss Pennybun, blushing for her igno-
rance, looked meekly up and said ::
Gentlemen, will some of you be kind
enough tc tell me what the Eastern
question is, and what Turkey is max
ing all this fuss about?"
~ bo obov-,,C nF xroioac ba
she had expected there was a dead 81
lence for the space of three minutes,
while five gentlemen stared blankly at
her with dismay written on their faces.
At last the wit of the party recovered
his breath, and said: "Oh, Turkey
must either gobble or be gobbled, and
she naturally prefers to gobble, don't
you seeP"
81 don't think 1 understand" an
swered Miss Pennybun, looking pathet-
ically at another of the party.
The individual appealed to fdgeted
uneasily on his chair and glanced hur-
riedly at the door; then his face bright
ened, and he turned to one of his COM
panions and said, Here's Brown, Miss
Pennybun; he has given us half doz-
en- solutions, so of course he can state
the problem"
Mr.. Brown grew exceedingly red and
ierked at his collar as if it felt too tight,
but managed to articulate a reference
to Mr.. Green.
Mr.. Green looked alarmed, but gal
lantly responded that it should never be
said that he encouraged a woman to
desert her sphere, and positively re-
fused to enlighten her.
Then quiet young man in the cor.
ner saw his opportunity and began
otis very simple question, Miss Pen
nybun; very simple, indeed. You see,
the Turkish provinces belong to Turkey,
and the Bosphorus being the key of the
Porte, the Car of Russia thinks of alb
dicating in favor of Czarowitch, which
naturally makes England and Germany
anxious about the balance of power and
excites the suspicious of Austria with
regard to her semi-Italian possessions
Servia and Montenegro being in revolt
and q hope you follow me, Miss Pen
nybun) the Spanish succession being g
doubtful question, Constantinople is in
an exposed condition and England i:
uneasy. Roumania is overrun with Rus
sian troops and, France remaining neu
trail the while, the Shah of Persia is al
last waking up to the Importance of the
affair, which will undoubtedly deprive
the Ottoman Empire of the Balkan
peninsula, thereby rousing the Hunga
rians and involving Greece and the
greater part of Asia.
81 think the matter is very plain and
1 believe in enlightening the women
enough to make them 'oom paniOna
ble,'" concluded the quiet young man,
leaning back in his chair, while the
tears came into Miss Pennybun's eyes in
admiration OF the stupendous intellect
enshrined within that noble form, ant
four unhappy young men arose to go
inwardly denouncing their own stupid
ty, and wondering where the mischie.
Jones found all that out.-Onaha Re
publican.