The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-10-05
TRUTHS AND TRIPLES.

"MY dear wife, wish you would try
to keep your temper" "My dear hus-
band, l wish you would try to get rid Of
yours"
SHE was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond of her. She hated him,
but, woman-like, she strove to catch him.
What was he? A flea.
WHITEHALL Times: Quoting poetry and
repeating Shakespeare, don't possess half
the attractions to win wife that quart
of warm roasted peanuts do.
A PAIR of slippers--a couple of eels.
A man of steady habits--the man who
always wears the same clothes Bills of
exchange-lovers' kisses. See-fare-iDg
men-railroad conductors.
"IF we are to live after death, why
don't we have some knowledge of itT'
said skeptic to clergyman. "Why
didn't you have some knowledge of this
world before you came into itT' was the
caustic retOrt.
FAIR WOMAN.
Eyes full and quick, with breath
Sweet as double vi0lets,
And wholesome as dying leaves OF strawberries
Thick silken eyebrows, high upon the forehead;
And cheeks mingled with pale streaks OF red,
Such as the blushing morning never wore,
With narrow mouth, small teeth,
And lips swelling as II she pouted,
Hair curling and covered like buds Of marjoram
Part tied In negligence,
Part loosely flowing.
Sir John Sucking.
UP in Rutland, VT, a man has just
had a piece of window glass more .han
two inches long taken from his leg, where
it has been for eighteen years. 1t may
be truly said that during the entire Pc
riod he has never been absolutely free
from pane.
The LATEST man is on Western paper.
He spells photograph, autograph" Only
three men have been worse than he. One
lived in Kansas, and dated his letters
"1lworth," another spelled Tennessee,
"1OaC," and the other wrote Wyan-
dotte, "Y&."
A FARMER in Chenango County, New
York, who lost his voice two years ago,
recovered it the other day as suddenly as
it left him, on his attempting to yell at
a stubborn mule which he was driving.
Men,: Persons who wish to recover lost
voices should become mule-drivers.
MANNERS have been somewhat cyni-
cally defined by wise men to keep fools
at a distance. Fashion is shrewd to de-
tect those who do not belong to her train,
and seldom wastes her attentions. So
ciety is very swift in its instincts, and If
you do not belong to it, resists and sneers
at you, or quietly drops you. -Emersom.
WHAT men usually say of misfortunes,
that they never come alone, may with
equal truth be said of good fortune; nay,
of other circumstances which gather
round us in harmonious way, whether
it arise from kind of fatality, or that
man has the power of attracting to HIM
self things that are mutually related
Goethe.
ELEGANCE of diction, says Seneca, is
not discarded by philosophy; but much
labor should not be spent tor the sake OF
shining in our expressions the main OBJ
ject is, to speak what we think, and to
think of what we say; the philosopher
should not seek to amuse, but1O instruct.
Truth ought to be explained in language
that's plain and unambiguous.
A SUBSCRIPTION paper, circulated for
some charitable purpose, was presented
to wealthy French manufacturer, who
subscribed twenty francs. "Twenty
francsw said the lady who presented the
list to him; "why, you ought to be
ashamed of yourself. Your son has sub
scribed fifty francs" THAT is all very
well," replied the manufacturer my
son has rich father, and can afford to
give more than l, who shall not inherit
anything"