The Van Buren press., 1876-10-17
Trifes for Ladies.


Less than three months of leap year
remain.
Rufus Choate said OF a woman "She
is sinner--no, not a sinner, for she is
my client, but very disagreeable
saint"
There are nineteen new styles of bon
net this fall. In fact anything that an
independent woman wants to wear is
fashionable.
Buckskin under garments is what the
ladfes wenr PARIS, IN order To make
their dresses cling to the figure as fash
ion DEGREES
The winter is coming. The leaves are
reddening along their tips like a young
woman's ears when' she is proposed to
by a man Of sixty.
There is rumor that short skirts will
be worn and very small bustles This is
severe blow to the newspaper BUSINESS.
So says the Boston Post
There are five regular established mat
rimonial agencies in Paris, and tue pro-
prietors all complain that the market is
oyerstocked with girls.
An exchange says Boston has 10000
shop-grls They all belong to the $50
ciety Of Minerva" and carry ten cent
tin-types Of Ralph Waldo Emmerson in
their bosoms.
Amy offers 2" SAYS Miss Whifet to
Miss Wriggle, both home from the coun.
try. "None," SAYS the Wriggle girl,
laughing Historically, " but I'm good for
another season"
The fashion of grabbing ones self in
the vicinity Of the hips, aud lifting the
form, on tip-toes, over the crossings is
st;!l q fasoritc custom among the ladies,
especially in muddy weather.
A woman III Connci Bluffs, Iowa, sold
her husband FOR brindle COW, calf, and
$50 to boot. Cows must be dog cheap in
Iowa. But, perhaps. it was a sick COW,
and counterfeit note.
A Paris letter says; Z" False hair will
be drug in the market when frost
comes. Short eurls and natural hair,
such as the pictures of Mime. Recamier
and Queen Hortense have made familiar
to everybody, will be all the fashion.
Awoman slipped. while getting on a
railroad car at Warrensburg, Mo. The
conductor caught her in his arms, so that
she did not fall, but she was frightened
to death A railroad company has no
rishtto employ such Ugly railroad con
ductors
Mrs. Albert Frederiehs, Of Chicago,
took poison, but her husband sent for
two doctors, who saved her lie. Now,
he says his domestic infelicity was caus.
ed by two physicians. Does he mean
the doctors who pumped the poison
from his wifes stomach?
Italy, which created two fashionable
colors, to wit, the magenta and solferi.
no, has developed q third this season,
but modestly yields to the Herzegovina
the distinction of giving it Il name. Need
we say that Herzegovina is a rich, and
in fact, a rebellous blood tint
Since DR.. Mary Walker was bitten by
dog SO badly, she talks of discardiua
trowsers, and resuming the protection Of
the skirt Let us hope indeed that tho
prodigal will return to crnoline, and il
the fatted calf is sacrificed. it wont be by
another dog st Louis Republican.
The Woman's journal asks: Should
women be supporting We don
know much about the merits of the qucs
ton, but if they should ever be, mar
would be deprived OF half the pleasure
Of a long walk home from spelling
school.-H Louis Globe Democrat.
"You see" said Uncle Job, "my wife
is a curious woman. She scrimped anc
saved, and almost starved all of us tc
get the parlor furnished nice, and nov
she won't let one of us go in it, anc
hahn I even had the window binds Of i
open for y month, She is a cu'rou.
woman"
1t is very true. IS the Boston Trans
cript observes that the spider is typ,
of persistency. But this is not the spi
der's fault, instinct regulates its action
whereas woman who begins campaign
for fall bonnet as carlo as July or Au
gust. has only Satan's well known intlu
ence with the sex to, excuse her Brook
Ign Argus.
writer on foshions gushes forth ~
follows: A stylish priestess in the TEN
pie Of fashion looks very like peram
lating confagration. Lurd ribbons leaI
about her shapely limbs, glowing tissu,
envelops her head and clasps her whit
throat in blood red coils; startling line
of flame dart in and out, up and dow
her dark garments, and even shine be
tween the soft kid Of her little boots"
---->s>---
EE-" guess dad wishes we'd all d
and 60 to heaven" said miser's son L
his maternal parent. "Why so?' sh
asked, upon recovering from her aston
ishment. !" Oh, cause heavens such
cheap plaee.to live in"
Jt- Wherever you find many mer
you fad many minds" exclaimed a pub
lie speaker r 'Taiat SO, by ilngow re