South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-07-28

10 oA"'oi'cu Dearueu iauy. AT the
entrance is stationed n girl To take mo-
ney. Recently visitor, having Toasted
his eyes on the strange phenomenon.
thinking, on his departure, to have q
Joke with the little money-takcr, said to
her. fondling her under the chin the
while, "Well, little one, i suppose the
bearded woman is your mamma, ch?"
NO. sir" reptile the child, "she is nv
papa"
Why JAKE STRucK WoRK.-"Say.
Jake, what's You ioafn' round bout.
''Lemme lone niger"
"But what's you loafin' 'bout?"
''Shet yo foul mouf niger"
Look 'heah Jake, why amt YOU
at work."
"Shet yo darn mouf I say niger"
What's de matter wild you enyhow.
Jake?"
Well. Use on a strike
Whu. What you on n strike bout
Jake?"
None o 80 darn business"
"Heah-don't you kuss me. Niger.
don't YOU do it; whit you on strike
bout | say?''
Vol den-Marse Tom. he CONN
Kick me out in the barn-yard dis mornin'
and say he, Use dun foun' dem stole
chickens in yo cabin" and den struck
STRUCK FUR town; amt gwino to take
no such usin from no white pusscn.' and
JAKE rubbed himself behind with rue
mi yIsaSe. while his friend made Off c sc.
ulating. "golly, niger, don't blame YOU
Tor striking under de circumstances
~ Henry" she said you don't
know what q soothing influence YOU have
on me" my darling" he whispered
softly, while n glad light came into his
eyes, "can it he SOP" Yes" she said.
when You are around always feel like
going to sleep"
TIE BEST FOR IIm.-John Pilpot
Curran and Father O'Loary were great
friends, and seemed TO have n mutual
respect for each others talents One
day after dinner Curran said:
Reverend Father, wish you were
Saint Peter
And why would yon wish that? asked
O'Leary.
Because, Reverend Father, in that
case, said Curran, YOU would have the
keys Of Heaven. and you could let me in.
BY my honor and conscience. repIied
the divine, it would be better for YOU if
| had the keys Of the other place. for
then | could let You out.
Cnrran enjoyed the joke, and admit
There might be good deal ofjustice
IN it.
swedish girl, while walking with her
father on starry night became absorb
ed IN contemplation Of the skies. Being
asked Of what she was thinllng. she re.
piled, u was thinking If the wrong side
Of Heaven is so glorious, what must the
right side he :"
I1SA London journal has the follow
ing, which Is doubtless credited in the
great metropolis "Meddling with 9th
crs sometimes brings us into scrapcs.
and thereby, one Of the elders Of Ger.
tnin church in New York made bad
worse. a young fellow entered tho
church and took his scat keepinp his
hat on. The elder notcingit. requested
him 10 take 80 or His request not be.
ing complied with, hc spoke 10 the vouur
man q second time; and seeing he still
hesitatcd, the elder gently lifted the hat
OF, when 20 his Chagrin ont rolled q quart
Of walnuts, making more noise than was
cOns.s. ent with dccorum Man GuIct.
" said the youth sec what YOU have
done =.
~ We passed the window tic other
evening and they were having n family
jar. She called him "an old fool he
called her n tea kettle" You're
tea>kettle," he roared vchcmcutly
You'd sing pleasantly ono minute and
boil over the next" We didn't stop TO
hear any more.
IVA young man in Massachusetts
couldn't get up courage enough 10 pop
the question 20 his girl and 30 sent
his olIer by mail. ic got postal card
in reply briefly saving Fetch on The
preacher"
lV'A father bent on instructive his
three-ycar old son. said If Won had
three apples and should give me one. f.
how many would You have lcft?" 81
wouldn't DO IT. pa, was the prompt
reply.
TIA little boy. fews days since.
while coming down stairs, was caution.
cd by his loving mother not TO lose his
balance. His question which followed
was puzzIer Mother. il should
lose my balance" where would IL 20 tor