The New York herald., 1876-10-22

Hurry across tho sowiands that you may lnger longer
the mount ain tops
There. was certain lauehable streak OF human ma
ture in that man of total abstinence Who drinking
a milk punch by mistake enthusiastically cried out,
.Heavcns. What COW. Is she for saie."
Whom a man Is sick he resolves TO be virtuous; but
when be gets well keep sharp look out, for he will
surely try to make up for lost timc
II you have any curiosity 10 know how subtle the
devil Is you need not ask your neghbors just take
quiet survey OF your own Lie and you VIII find out
morbid curiosity Is tho parent passion OF the hu-
man heart We always delighted to look on any
thing which ought not TO Treawney lifted the
covering over Byrons dead body and gazed at the
club which the sensitive poet had tried all his lie
| 10 conceal And Cow Rev. Mr. Ainslee, who recently
died. has lc a rich legacy TO his heirs the skeleton
| OF Tom Paine What he wanted with an empty skull
no ono tell. There was music in the rafting
bones and no wisdom the mouth which set with
springs A cheerful companion In the weekly prepa-
ration o, HIS that eaunt skeleton must have
been Tho restless free rogionsts ought 20 buy u
and hang 1t up in tholr memorial hall as symbol OF
| their faith.
ST. George Mivart an eminent naturalist, says that
for awhile nc accepted Darwin's theory, but he has
been compelled 10 gve It up for scientific reasons u
plausible, but not II seems too bad to have
break in the ranks just now, when Moses or
However, the author Of the Penatcuch will retake his
accustomed seat for awhile, until this intestine quarrel
is settled Tho question OF tho survival OF The httest
| is yet to bc settled.
Tho following anecdoe is curious satire on tho pre-
yailng morality of business life There - no turn nor
twist which can defy the human brain when self be-
comes rampant "Faith, said the hero OF the story
who had managed to get possession OF some United
states blankets, sits lnc thing TO have learnlng
| hat ttoua
blankets havo any initials on them. There is u and
nm S. Now the u that stands for Patrick, and there's
| the S. that stands for Mccarthy" They werc ev-
IDENTIFY his and by right which is not entirely un-
known to those who look down Pat as not yet civil
lied. One touch Of nature makes the whole world Kin
| There is certain law which seems to disport itself
by giving names to individuals which sometimes ut
tho character closely the tights OF an athlete
and sometimes hang MS loosely as Turkish costume
There IL clergyman in the West who proachcs
very poor sermons for very poor pay, but
| whom nature or circumstances, laughing in their
sleeve doubtless, dubbed Rev. John Mustard Then we
havc tho Rcv. Mr.. Woodcock. who never pregcnts
bill and the Rev Mr. Cold water, who does not be-
lieve in immersion any moro than the Rev. Mr. Flood,
| who lives in the next county. Tho Rev. Mr. Marsh
boon thoroughly drained and is now as dry as pos
sblc and tho Rev. Mr. Smiley finds fault with every
thing. Tho Rev. Mr.. Shumakcr however, Is still
"pcgging' away, and hopes to last many year yet,
while the Rev. Mr. Long is only nvc feet ten. Tho
Rev Mr. Sweet is hot tempered to tho last degree,
while Tie Rev. Mr. Black Is light blonde II is cvi.
dent that old OF giving namcs TO designate
characteristic facts has iaen into disuse, aud is
great satisfaction to that "a mans for a.
thatn
The religious people OF the city look on Dr. Tai
mage's editorial change Of base with n quizzca gri-
mace. His enemies say in PLAIN English that when he
stabbed tho Chrisdn at Work he did II with murder
/ Gus intent while his friends insist that ho only in
tended prick vein and 70 transiuse the blood OF its
healthy circulation the paralyzed sysicm OF the
! Advance. Some blunt enough to say II was
| dishonest while others assert that IL only
ecccntricty These ltlo Irregularities, however, arc
| not SO uncommon that they excite remark, except
whom they induged in by men whose consciences
IRE so very that they can't read Shakespeare
without shudder and go to watering place for
fear OF being contaminated Consistency Is priceless
| jewel on account or IT'S rarity.
| 1t will never 90 take o at his word when he
is talking about himself III am tedious tell me to
sit down" said speaker IN Sunday school He
wandered ON indefinitely, until at last little fellow
jumped in his seat cried out You've talked long
enough: sit down 70 Iwas true but nevertheless tho
speaker thought the child very rude. Human nature
| is a curious composition
/ The Examiner aud Chronicle says It is tired OF
reitcrating fact That may be Christian and
| not bc at the samo tno Baptist We arc also tired
OF hearing this Of twadde The Church ought long
ago to have been ashamed Of itself spend much
time in arguing tho question whether Christian min
is,cr ought to invite all Christians tho Lords table,
| In tho army wo never ask soldier whether he
| sharpened his bayonet a grindsone a hestonc
II the bayonot sharp, tho man who handled II
was loyal, IT was enough. But the Baptisis havo
recruited sort OF grndstonc regiment and instead Of
charging tho enemy, they spend their timc In
inspecting bayoncts II Christians would wrangc less
| and do more houcst work thore would not be much
complaint that their broken ranks are not filled up
The Catholics and Protestants alike their faith
in modern miracles. Some hcsi.aicd to accept tho
cure or Mr. Platt's knco joint by the laying Of
handg while others regarded II direct to
prayer The amount and kind or hesitation ex
lists to accent tho OF paralytic In Lockport by
tho application OF relic Of St Pauls to tho patient
/ While tho world, however. stands in doubt, tho at
fictcd ones who have recovered thor health firmly
believe. We may argue tho matter as We please but
the simple fact that tho from her bed and
thanked God and the other threw his crutchcs away
| The Rev Dr. Cheever has evolved from somewhcrea
cutting satire on tho theory Of Mr.. Huxley. The
British lecturer goE back LUX by link in his
inc and then he gets tired quietly that
he has got to the rngbolt SO ends the matter. This
style Of reasoning applied to the kitchen fol-
/ lows
For when from milk tho brought,
i Then butter from the cream is wrought
BY being stirred within "a churn
Which nj girl OF twelve learn.
4 And then you have nice white bread,
or brown Just Ms you please. and spre ad
over he u sheet OF gold
| iayor. sweet and cold;
! md ~ sur ut length know
| The Of the
Tho logic both cases is equally strons still, II wc
are compelled to givo reference, must decide in
/ favor OF Checvcr and his
People who havo sense Of the ludcrous apt
find fault with ministers who mako thor congregations
smile sherlock found fault with South bring
ing in witticism 10 turn the po.nt uf debate IL
| ID ha enid .hn1x do