Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1876-03-23
Anlmoruns department.
COMING TO WOO.

COMING TO WOO. -r.r.y
Susan, you'll make a smart, capable woman,
if you git the right kind of a husband" said
Uncle lothian Kingsley, chucking me under
the chin. 81 know where there is splendid
chance for you-a splendid chance!'
"Where ?'' I asked, amused at Uncle Jo-
tham's seriousness.
"Ah up to Baskerville" answered Uncle
lothian, knowingly. "Just say you'll con-
slider the matter soberly, an I'll send him
down." .... .... ,... .......
"Of course I'll consider the matter soberly,"
I answered, not having the faintest idea that
Uncle lothian would take me at my word.
But he did; for, about week after his de-
parture, received the following letter, which
from its appearance generally, had most like
ly cost him whole days work: ..,...
"MY DEAR NIECE SUsAN.-I take my pen IN
hand to inform you that am we'll An hoap these
fu lines will Find you enjoyin' the Same great
blessin. On Account of your great resent Blance
to my dear deceast wife, who you was named after
feel a graft Interest in your welfair, an would
like to see you settled down and Doln wei, and
think good husband would be the best thing 1or
GAS You promised to consider the matter So
berly if would send Down likly, respectable
man, am goin to do so. His naim is Calub
Finch. Hes widderer, an has childurn. they
are Smart, an You wouldn't have Any trouble
with EN-. Hes got so akers of The best land in in
the whull of Baskerville, an kows an severlll
horses. Hes goin to start Diary of he gits mar
ried. now he don't have anybo see TO Ihlngs
an his houskeepin is goin to rack An ruin. -,
"ive told him all about You an I think you'll
suit him, only you're most too young. How
sumever that cant Be helpt. He will come down
the first of next week an there won't be nothin to
Hender your maxim good bargin, if you've only
n wind fo ho varv kind the loxc MiSSuS
Finch, an spared no ecspents when she was stck.
her doctor bill amounted to Over rs dollars. de
got her the handsomest gravestone that's ever
been set up in the symmetry.
"Hopin that you'il conclude to act for your in
terest I, scribe myself Your atieckshunate
unkle, LOTHIAN kINGsLEE.
"To Mis- Susan Spencer"
Dear me! ! never laughed in all my life
before as did over that letter, with its awful
spelling, and its capitals scattered in promis-
cuously, for all the world, Bell declared, as if
he had shaken them out Of the sand.box, and
they had stuck wherever they happened to
fall.
But the most laughable part of it was the
idea thathe had actually got a husband looked
up for me, and was going to send him down to
see me.
you're lucky young lady," said Bel,
with tears in her eyes, the moment she stopped
laughing enough to utter coherent word.
"Only think how kind he was to the late de-
ceased 'Missus Finch! If you should die,
you'll have the consoling thought to cheer
your last hours that he'll get you handsome
gravestone,' and that he will pay your doc
tors bill cheerfully, even if it does amount to
over twenty-five dollars You'll be attended
to regardless Of expense,I haven't the least
doubt"
"And the five children |" said, gasping
with laughter. "But they're smart, and that's
one consolation"
"What pity, that you're quite so young!
said Bell, making an effort to recover her dig
nifty, and failing signally in the attempt
"It's too bad that you can't have your age
changed by an act of the Legislature to &C
commodate your expected Mr.. Finch! That
sounds splendidly, doesn't it? It'll look nice
too, when he has you deposited by the late
'Missus Finch in the tsymetry.' Dear, dear
who ever heard of anything quite so comical
before?'
"But what's to be done?" asked, as the
real state of the case began to make itself
apparent. "Here we a-e, left to keep house
while mother is visiting. Next week Mr..
Finch is coming
"Coming to woop sang Bell. "Mr. Finch
coming to woo!'
"And I want to know what we are going
to do with him 2" I demanded.
you're going to marry him, Of course,
answered Bell. III advise you to fall to and
begin to.consider the matter as Uncle 10
than requested. Think it over prayerfully
and we'll, and let the argument Of the late
'Missus Finch's gravestone' weigh In MI.
Finch's favor"
"It's all well enough for you to laugh" said
I, Indignantly "but if you were in my place
you'd think differently Of it. How am
going to get rid of the wretch? What under
the sun possessed Uncle lothian to send him
off down here? never was so provoked IN
all my life, never =! =,
"I'll tell you what I'll do," said Bell, after
a silence of minute or two. "He doesn't
know how you look, and if I were so pass
myself off for you, he'd never know the mis-,
take. I'll be Susan, if you'll be Bell, and
I'll get rid of Mr. Finch for you"
"If you only would" cried l. -,
"I WILL" answered Bell, her eyes sparkling
withs. s.anticipated pleasure "Im going to
make Mr.. Finch think I am deaf-deaf as a
post. Oh! my, won't it be jolly, though r
Bell leaned back in her chair, and laughed
till her sides ached.
Monday morning Mr.. Finch came
We took good look at him from the win
dow as he came up the path. He was lit
tie man, with red hair, and no eyes to speak
Of The poor gentleman had evidently got on
his best Sunday clothes, and looked ill-at.ease
in consequence. Perhaps his mission helped
to make him nervous
"From this time forth, as long as he stays,
I'm deaf, remember" said Bell, warnlngly.
II shan't be able to hear anything short OF a
respectable scream"
I went to the door.
"Is this Miss Susan Spencer?'' asked Mr..
Finch, as he'entered.
"Susan is in the sitting-room," answered.
"Ill introduce you. You are Mr.. Finch,
aren't tyou"
"Yess'm; Caleb Finch" he responded, SO
solemnly that I wanted to giggle.
took him into the sitting room where Bell
was.
"susan," said I, in loud voice, "this is
Mr.. Finch"
81 don't hear what you say" said Susan,
turning her ear toward me. "Speak little
louder, if you please"
"This is Mr.. Finch!' screamed in her
ear. I thought I must laugh to se' how hor-
ri6ed Mr.. Finch looked.
81 am glad to see you, Mr.. Finch, said
"Susan," with beaming smile. "Take a
chair-bring it close, if you please, because
am slightly affected with deafness. How are
the children ?'