Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-11-17
f. U n 2

A baShful appearing man stepped into
the Enquirer; editorial room the other
evening, and edging up to the table Of the
managing editor, hat in hand, said in
hesitating way
''You like little items for your paper, L
suppose 2"
Certainly" replied Mr.. Cockerill, "a
newspaper-like life is made up Of little
items. What have you to offer 20
"Well," said the bashful man, playing
with his hat-band, ''my name is Smith,
John Smith, and I've just got home"
ssGlad to see you back again Mr.. Smith, !"
said Cockerill s'been gone long ?'
81 have been,' said Mr.. Smith with a
tremor of.pride in his voice, ''to the Cen
tennial, and if you want to make a little
notice"
'sWhatl" cried Crockerill, springing to
his feet; ''you have been to the Centen-
NAL And you've got back Give us your
hand; Pm delighted to see you. Spear,
let me introduce you to John Smith. John
has been to the Centennial p
Spear shook hands very warmly with Mr..
Smith, and then ran to the aperture com
municating with the reporters room, and
shouted, O'Shaunnessey, come in here
quick; here's man that's been 30 the
Centennial !"
Then O'Shaunnessey bounded in, follow
ed by his asSistan, s, all of whom embrac-
ed the bewildered Smith warmly, and ex-
+ bo foo 61d hI,f
to meet man who had been to the great
National Exhibition. Word got down
stairs somehow, and Joe Mcdowell, Bill
Small, and Uncle Joe Shadenger came up
stairs at tearing rate to gaze upon the
individual who had be II to the ExpoSl
ton. 1t was too much for the modest MAJ
to bear, and murmuring something about
making an item OF his return if they want
ed to, he hurried out just in time to meet
on the stairs the foreman aud lhrty-tWo
compositors--all eager 70 get d glimpse Ut
the man who had ''been to tile Gentej9-
NAL"
we asked Amos how his boy was getting
along at school.
'.Pieg take dat boy! 1 done tuck him
away from dat skool."
s.Why. what for?''
s'Uh, oh! he Was gettin' mos too smart
down dar wild dat book larnin'. Twon't
do fer some niggers to be too edgikated."
why not, Amosy'
swell, sab, jess take dat boy, frinstance
I put dat boy to keep books fer me 'bout
de sellin OBJ de guarding truck dis summer.
Well, sab, he jess rit down charges Oar in
dat book fer all de truck dat took out de
gyardin', an Charges fer all dat sole, AN
charges fer all dat we eat in de house, an
den credit himself wild de little mounts
dat Let him hab long at odd 'casions, an
den he go an add dem all up, an struck
er balance, he say
4sAnd how did you come out?"
tsCome out? Fore de Lord Master didn't
come out at all Dat boy done stuck me
fer bout thutty sdbe dollars. sides his
wages as de book keepah--now OATS what
de fggers. sed! !"
..Well, WHIST did you do?"
81 Jess burn up dat book right dar an
,scharge de b6ek-keepah and hire him ober
apin to saw wood for his borde and close!''
ssYou did?''
ssYes, sab, I did datl Why, boss, if dat
bow had KEEP dat book on me till now, he'd
done own dat house an gyardin patch, am
bin chargin' me an his ole nanny rbed
an bred ! I tell yer dis hyar book-larnin'
is ruinin' dis young breed OBJ niggers--'tis
shore!"
A Witness for the prosecution in MUIR
der case was thus questioned by his Hon
Or
You say you saw the man shot at and
kilIeo 7"
Eyes, sir"
ssYou said, I think, that the charge
struck the deceased on his body, b, tween
the diaphragm and the duodenum ?"
ssNo, sir; l didn't say no such thing. 1
said he was shot between the hog pen and
the M0odhOuse."
..You aee," said Uncle Job, 'smy wife's
a curious woman. She scrimped, and
saved and almost starved all of US to get
4our parIor furnished nice, and now she
won't Let one of JUS so into it for a
.nsonth, she is curious woman.
AWhy don't you literary men eyer get
ricalsr asked a lady of a bohemian. r
don't know" he repleds unless it is that
dollars and sense never go together
An exchange says; ''The leading society
Of Figi never eat missionary In a 4aonth
xuithn11f an "a, in 1T.