Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-05-17

Of the Drawer, at Dayton, Ohio, sends
US the following "reminiscences:
In conversation with one of our
citizens the other day, whose
title to being q pioneer none in this
region will dispute, he related this in
cident in the life of the late c. L.. VAL
"val" was, when quite a
young man, a member Of the Ohio
Legislature, and ambitious to show of
his accomplishments. One day he con-
cluded one of his speeches with quite a
Latin quotation. After he had
taken his seat, portly member from
Miami sedately arose, arrested the at
tention of the Speaker, and proceeded
to declaim a WyandOt Indian speech in
the original tongue. At its conclusion
he sOlemnly took his seat. All eyes
were turned upon the member in wonder
and amazement until he finished, then,
catching a glimpse of "Val" frOwning
and showing his teeth, a roar of laughter
fairly shook the house. 1t Is safe to say
after that 'fVal" wasted no more Latin
quotations on that House. - Hdrper's S
Mdgdzine.
Our OF HER ELEMENT.-''I'm going
to stop attending our church, "peevishly
a vinegar-faced spinster not
a thousand miles from Chicago the
other day.
"why, what has happened?" anx-
iously inquired friend.
"There amt nothing happened, and
that's just what's the NATTER" con-
tinued the spinster through her nose.
'.Here I've been a regular attendant for
morn two years, and there hain't been
no gossip, no scandal, nor nothing to
talk about i'm all that time, and cant
see the use Of going any longer"
And she squared herself down in a
chair with the lcOk of a martyr.
A MAN dragged a dog into Detroit
saloon the other day and wanted the
barkeeper to buy him for ten dollars.
When he found that he couldn't get
that price, the would-be seller dropped
to five, then to three, and in minute
more had come down to fifty cents.
"Think of great big dog like that for
fifty cents !" he exclaimed, as he pulled
in on the rope. The bartender talked Of
hard times for a while, and the owner
of the dog finally said :-"Well, take
him for ten cents. Pm out Of paper
collars, and amt man to let dog,
no matter how good he is, stand between
me and a clean turn-dOwn collar !!
Two FRIENDS who had not met each
other for years, met, recently, on the
Omaha express In the
smoking car. Each appeared somewhat
confused. "Bless my soul!' said one,
"what are you doing on board here! 7"
hush." said his friend; 81
know l can rely upon you. The fact
is, had no wife of my own, so am
running away with anOrher mans"
replied the first speaker,
"what an idiot you must be- The fact
is, had a wife of my own, and am
running away from her" " Chicago
Tribune.
A NEW LESSON FROM NATURE.-'Na-
ture herself teaches us to be polite, re-
marked Chicago naturalist TO party
of friends on late evening.
Show SOP" inquired some one.
"Because, was the reply, eve can
not step into an orchard or grove
without noticing the fine toughs that
she makes!'
All had to acknowledge the climber
ness" of the mans perceptions.
Two KNIGHTS of the angle having been
glad to seek the shelter of a sorry look
ing ale-house for the night, one ques-
toned the other next morning as to how
he had passed the night, observing that,
for his part, he had "slept like top"
$50 did l." replied his companion, "fOr
L was turning round all night"
A CocKNEY gentleman stepped up to
give his testimony: "There was a vast
crowd gettin' about i'm, hand one said
the man was killed, hand hanother said
the same; hand l hexclaimed with a
loud voice, 'Hif the man is killed, why
don't you stand back hand give i'm a
little hair? p"
If YOU pass through the hen-rOOst
with careful eye, just now, you will
notice a sadness creeping over the
of the old hens. 1t is not
simply the knowledge that they must
die, but the thought that they must be
sold for spring chickens. - Cincinnati
Times.
"MA, WHAT is lanker?" inquired a
child, the other day.
''I'm sure don't know, my son. Where
did you hear the wOrd?" "Why, at
Sunday-school. You know they sing,
''We'll stand the storm, it won't be
long; we'll tanker by and by"
"LADY-"NOw, Mr.. Snapper, as 1 saw
you at church last Sunday, tell me
what you think of our new preacher ?"
think he would be first
class martyr at the stake" Lady
''why so, Mr.. Snapper?" Snapper
Because he is so very dry"
eWHAT are you about?" inquired
lunatic of cook who was industriOusly
picking the feathers from a fowl.
Dressing a chicken" answered the
cook. 81 should call that undressing"
replied the crazy fellow. The cook
looked reflective.
81 NEVER larfed so much in all me
Iife," said Guy at the club the other
night, when sat down on, you know,
4 nice old chaps hat, you know, and
then everybody larfed, you know" Ii
was funny, you know, wasn't it?
As OLD Mr.. heaved the last
;cuttle of four tons of coal into his
cellar, he was heard to remark: elf
hey had been boys instead of girls, it
wouldn't have been thus. One ton
would last all winter.
A YOUNG LADY who was heard to de-
clare that she chad nothing to wear"
was seen on the street few hours later,
lttired in at least seventy-five dollars
worth Of clothes. We suspect she ber-
rowed them.
THOSE who live nearest the depot are
the last ones to get on board
the train, so those who live nearest the
church are almost always the last ones
to come in Sunday mornings.
HGESTLEMEN of the jury, many of you
are fathers; many of you are mothers"
said Watertown lawyer,
in summing up his case the other day.
SWELL, sir, what does hair spell 2"
Boy-'I don't know" '.What have
you got on your head 2" "BOy (scratch-