Litchfield enquirer., 1876-04-20
cLiPPINcs.

GGtPP1WGSs A man always feels put out when he is taken in.
 | The warmest kind-of hat-one that's got stove'in. $@
 The grasshopper blossoms sweetly on the edge of the Minnesota snowdrlft. There is nothing very original in a mon- ey market report. It is too full of quota tions
 The latest in the form of parting salu- tation is: ''Well, Inf don't see you again: 1 hellop ~E .f
 Sturgeon says, rather sharply, that lit is hideous gift to possess to be able to say nothing at extreme length. When young man cannot live on his salary, the usual way is for him to live on the salary of some one else.
 There is economy in travelling on tbe fast mail trains. You make what. you eat go. great deal farther in a given length of time.
 All effor.s to make hay by gas light have failed, but 1t is discovered that wild oats can ee sown under its cheerful rays.
 That was smart little girl who, in an- swer to the catechisms question: What Is tue outwaed, visible sign or form in baptism ?' replied, ''Ihe baby"
 The man who ever attempted to put down twenty yards of carpet will have no sympathy for the Massachusetts tack fac fnr rulli inh ba
 They have diaagreeable way in Canon City, Colorado, when man takes bro- ken chair to the cabinet-shop, of saying: Hit you with a char, did she ?"
 little three year olI girl. in repeating her prayer to her mother every night, in eopalian Wepublitan."
 Susan Anthony undertakes in a single lecture to enumerate What Woman Wants" She could save nine tenths of the time by simply stating what she does not want '
 A bili to prohibit the sale of intoxicat- ing liquors within four ID les of the Cali fornia University is called by San Fran cisco paper ''an act to promote pedestri- auism among students"
 A skiff was upset in a Kentucky m1ll pond the other day, and James Tyler was thrown into the water. The local paper calls it clear case of tipAa-canoe and Ty- Ter too
 Honolulu people say it rains nine days in the week at Hilo, and thirteen months in the year, and once in great while it rains into the bunghole of barrel faster than it can flow out of both ends.
 A man who had lost his mother in law called at a hat store to get the requisite crape put on his hat. "How wide do you want 2 was asked ".Well," he replied, T guess wide shoe-string will do."
 There was never a man more complete ly sold than the one who stole the travel ing bag of drummer for boot and shoe firm. He got boots and shoes in plenty, but not pair.
 This is variation of the story about the soldier whose life was saved by Bi- ble in his pocket. A fellow in Omaha was shot by desperado, and the bullet lodged harmlessly in a bundle of letters from his girl
 Parish Clerks wife: "Let you into the church to draw a interior? 1 dusn't do it, miss. There was party there last year, and do you know they lefta 'orrid dissent in trac' in the rector's pew Ever since that it's against orders.
 Young man," said the revivalist, ad- dressing the swearer, Chow hot do you suppose hell is ?" The workman recog- nlzed his questloner, and placing his arms akimbo, and looking him squarely in the face, said. "well, MT. Finney, suppose it's so hot there that if somebody brought twas ice-cream. MT. Finney, had .noth- ing more to say.
 From the Danbury News
 In the spring the thoughts turn lightly to love and heavily to boneset.
 It is recommended that every one plant tree this centennial year If you haven t tree plant cat.
 Mir. Plumb, of Slawson, marked the hundredth anniversary of his country's independence, by running his hand into a hay-cutter.
 Despairing of New England shower of flesh Danbury hen has laid an egg measuring 7xS inches-the largest egg that ever shed hen.
 The mathematical column is crowded out of this issue, which will give it's pat 'rons a chance to rest their heads, and fix up their yards for spring.
 One of the Danbury school committee men, man'of strong republican tenden- cies, took occasion, in recent address to the children, to mention the lion as being the president of beasts. t-s
 Monday was one of those dreary, rainy days when man stays home allday. and pulls out all his private papers, with a view to strengthening things, and after looking them carefully over, leaves them in heap on the table for his wife to put l away.