, 1876-12-03
HUhiOR.

The Solid North II is what stops the Arctic
expeditions.
Sec c-Czar-ism-Attempts to interview the Rus.
sian Emperor.
If All analogy from feline life is in order in
Louisiana politics, there must hnye been good
many voters Il Oh the fence" in Cat-a-houla,
The peanut crop for this year is 100000 bush
els; and no people with 100000 bushels Of pea
nuts before them eyer plunged nladly into civil
strife.
New Workers who have wagercd on the elec-
tIon say the difference between truth and John
Morrissty is that Truth lies in we'll aud John
lies i'll pool
Railway porter (who has had the lighted end
Of cigar thrown into his eye): "Beg pardon,
sir, bur that eyes full; the other is quite at
your SERVICE"
The man who manages hand-car cannot be
called chief engineer, and If you style him
hand-car chief he might bc confoundcd with the
wipcrs Of the ocomotiyes.-Boston Commercial
Bui2efi,4.
That Cincinnati widow who wanted TIA corre-
spondence with coal merchant " has learned
that there isn't dollar in coal if the customer
stands around and pre4ents the driver being
weighed.
4 revolution has broken out in San Domingo,
but for the sake of history It should be stated
that it is not tho same one that broke out last
hcth- 4uAt OEE WIS cAptuTcu IIu put III Lue
lookup before the new one had fairiy started.
III tilt ilard-drinking days an old Scotch laird
and his eldest son were riding home together
from hospitable gathering: Their ride for
while was silent, but At last the son said:
:" "Feyther, T wish sc was deid.'' The old man
rather sadly replied, "'Wel1, laddie, I hac aften
thought thar Of nv fcyther, but never hae the
impulence to say't.n
Three cats on Huntington street have been
oil fV+%
past week. We do not know just what United
States Deputy-Marshals are made for, but If
one Of them should happen around among those
eats with club, we should be prepared to in
dorsc any intimidation he might be able to
cxercisc.-Ro,ne Sentinel.
The Chinese do not seem to have an intuitivc
idea Of the sanctitY OF oath. i consular Office
boy, who had Leen i'll the service nearly nine
years, was looking for something which he cyi-
IDENTIFY could not lind, and was asked what it was.
3D." The Consul is going to try case this morn
ing, he replied, land am looking for the little
book he makes the witnesses smell.''
A Gold Hill {Ser.) Judge nad just sentenced
a man to prison for twenty days for drunken
ness. "Oi'nl tould, yer Amer, that thin fhwat
is in the jug do be not lift to have Il LUX at the
Is True, Murphy, truc,'' murmnred
the Court, still writing. q Thin,'' cried the
prisoner, :. thin how am oi to know av Tilden's
ilictedt'; No answer was returned, and Mr.
Murphy was led of waiting.
One Of the teach crs in a Sunday-school was
q stumped badly Sunday afternoon. He was
teaching the infant-cl2ss, and, after explaining
the lesson as well as he knew how, he threw
open the question-box, figuratiyely speaking,
md told the children they might ask linn any
questions that suggested themselves. He was
!ratifled by,a 7-year-old girl, who Immediately
5iped out, ;" Who's c!ccted!' Hecouldn't tell. |
The logic Of childhood is sometimes irrcsisti~
Die. A promising youth of only seven summers,