Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-12-01
A Book A gent Beaten With his own
Weapons

He came in briskly and sat down with
a jerk. One end of his paper collar reared
over his left ear; qualmy smell OF last
weeks clothes hung about him. He turn
ed his glass eyes upon us, and, loOSenlng
his India-rubber tongue, he began:
"The Universal History of the Universe
in 1000 installments-ffty cents an in
Stallment-900 engravings-
"Stop, my friend. Restrain the intel
lectual flOw-dam up that torrent OF elo-
quence. Listen to me-do you know what
has come to me since l saw you last? 1t
was in Octo-'
"But, SIR interrupted the book agent,
''you never saw me before"
'Never saw you? Impossiblel Could
anyone who had once gaZed on those noble
lineaments ever forget them? Could that
coy wart on the nose ever be forgotten--or
that eloquent mole on your iron jaw! New
er, never! 1t was in October that L met
YOU last. Blessed October-that month OF
ripeness and sober passion! Do you know
of all the months in the year October Is
''Pardon me, sir" exclaimed the book
agent, rolling his brass eyelids in despera-
tion, ''you are"
''Pardon me, sir; l cannot allow any
man to hold the reins of conversation over
mel will not be interrupted. To resume.
My great grandmother was the pertest wo-
man of her age that you ever saw. She was
1872 years old, and yet was as clipper as the
best of us. My brother, who was an in
ventive man, put her on pair OF wheels,
and it would have done you good to have
the only family who could boast OF. a
4 OFbav IN vvhaala Qu6 vaf-b
"But, sir, am in great hurry, and"
"Ycu must positively not interrupt me,
my friend. As I was saying before, when
a man has family growing up around
him, it is hard to say which one he loves
best, And yet that boy Of mine, with that
strawberry mark on bis left ear-there's a
queer story connected with that strawberry
mark that would please yOu-have you a
child?" is
81 am the father of thirteen miserable
children, he replied.
'Ah, then, you can sympathize with my
story. You have been mother yourself.
All! who can sound the depth Of mothers
loye2 1t is as deep as an artesian well, as
high as a liberty pole. 1t scars like Chi
nese kite, it grOvels like ground hog. 1t
is sweet to be mother. 1t gives us new
life, aaR fills us with a broad, deep, sweet,
- ,'''' o..
--''ReallY, sir, l haven't time, broke in
the 'perplexed and desperate agent.
"Now there you 90 again. You throw
me out every time. But to get back to our
conversation. do think he was the sweet
EST dog ever sow, Although he was quite t
xo,,ng when he was born, he seemed 70
iSSs 70 learning naturally, When would
send him 10 drive the pigs out OF the yard
he '' would take the pigs patronlzingly by the
Inst here the book agent rose, his steel
ioints Swapping viciously, He cast one wild,
SCARED lock around him, and made for the
door, Having reached the door, he turned
and looked back angrily. He frightened
up. as if he were going to open the eonyer
sation again, but he gulped his sorrow
down hastily and fed.
"Come back and see US again, we caliec
| blandly over the stairs. You are sueh
good listener it's pleasure to talk to you
| Yes. come againl Come during the mex
Centennial lr'-AtlGntG Constitution.
New Jersey contains 10000 more womel