The New Orleans Democrat., 1876-07-12
A GOOD INVESTMENT.
A suit Involving Another sutt-Of
Clothes.

"Mr. Constable, call tho next case.
said Judge Houston, OF the First
Justices Court, few days ago. The
next case happened to be one Of those
rare suits in which tailor endeavors to
recover from customer the value OF a
suit Of clothes, an extra pair OF trowsers,
and few other pieces The bill pre-
sents nothing extraordinary, except that
| 1t indicates some extravaganza on the
part OF the defendant in wearing TWEEN
| ty-two-dollar unmentionables at the
time the debt was contracted, whilst
now he wears entire suits costing much
less, and which he sneakingly purchases
from Cheap Johu---for cash.
The plaintiff is represented by an
attorney who offers the bill In evidence.
Counsel on the other side calls the atten-
ton Of the judge to the fact that the
evidence is noticeable for It's thinness,
in view Of the date OF the contract, some
time In 1876, and, at the same time that
he admits the correctness Of the items,
suggests meekly to the Judge that there
is somewhere something in the code
which interferes materially with re.
covery In the matter ut issue.
l--~H4A| haI Prescription rfr tftters the
plaintiffs lawyer, but, may II please
| the court, we have here a recent letter
| from the defendant in which he acknow-
| ledged the debt"
Defendants counsel does not seem
staggered lin the least by the announce
ment, but rs soon 10 he can obtain pos
session of the document, assumes the
most amiable air which persuasive
l. mi
reads, addressing the court
New ORLEANS, May 26, 1876.
TO Mr. Brown. Attorney and Counsellor at
INV dear sir" Your honor will please
note that my client. the defendant, being
a gentleman by birth and education un-
derstands thoroughly the amenities OF
| life. and this is evidenced by the polite
ness aud courtesy which he manifests
at the opening of his epistle TO counsel
for plaintiff / proceed: Your favor
OF this date informing me OF the inter
esting fact that Mr.. B has placed in
your hands bill against me, and that
| il ] desire to settle the same / will call
ut your Office, etc, is at hand. Per
NIT me to say, my dear sir, r,"--defendant's s
counsel interrupts himself to say your
| honor will observe that my clients po-
I liteness sustaius itself Permit me, my
| dear sir. to say that the debt Is a good
| one, and, like wine, will be improved by
age. It therefore constitutes an excel
| lent investment for your client, and as
the interest each year can be added to
the principal and the investment thus
increased and his pecuniary prospects
thus advanced, 1T occurs to me that 1t
would be the height OF injustice for me
to hasten" Here, please the Court,
f,r Infn At
pause and consider the magnan-
Unity contained in those few lines
which, OF themselves, would acquit
the most inveterate malefactor, or the
most sordid murderer, from the doom
which he might otherwise have justly
merited. The feelings which my gener-
Gus client expresses for the plaintiff s
interest Is comparable. sir, only TO the
interest which he takes In himself, and
which propose to show by reading on ;
he saws: CAS- long as this little affair
client will entertain u lively interest in
my welfare and prosperity, aud | have
no disposition to curtail the few friends
who feel solicitude for my progress In
| life. Your honor may see Ill this some
thing akin to selfishness but the
traditional obliquity OF justice is
Enthusiastically at work upon your
| honor's mind IL 1t entertain such an
| idea OF my clients motives. A little
reflection will convince your honor that
| it is at best simple case OF self
| defense-provoked by that most sacred
| of laws which does not so forth with q
pair OF scales on its eyes and a bandage
| in one hand and n concealed dagger
under it's gown-by the law of self
preservation. which heeds the biblical
| warning: "Ye have eyes and see
not'-hence keeps its eyes skinned
and surrounds itself with all the
safeguards that the Constitution, the
declaration of independence, and
| human nature suggests in this great
year Of the Centennial. Aheml " The
debt is good one," my client goes on
to say, ''and, therefore, l cannot COM
prehend your solicitude about its collec-
tion. Ii is as / have said, a good debt,
and Is likely TO remain so for some time
vet. provided the Government does not
| repndiate, and set an example to all
good and loyal citizens to do likewise.
Do not, my dear sir, let this matter dis
turb YOU or your client. 1t is not OF the
slightest consequences, and will be made
all right in the end" | must admit to
your Honor that the phraseology here
| is somewhat indefinite, ana what END
my client refers to will have to remain a
i U1NSteTy, SluCG nt 10 nOt pcL luibtCi w GA
plain but it must, nevertheless, be very
| consoling to the plaintiff to know that
it will be all right in some end; and il
we might plead the exception OF prema-
turity, or the suspensive condition, we
would ask your Honor to fix the time
sometime before the millennium. How
belt, we now enter upon the closing
remarks Of this admirably and benevo-
lently conceived epistle, and are stag
gered by its logic. / read "If these
Propositions are not so clear as they
might seem at first glance, / will
add another. / have the greatest
desire in the world to pay that bill, as
soon as certified correct, ii you are will
ing, as in logical, to take the desire for
the intention and the intention for the
deed. You may then consider the thing
definitely settled" Leaving the logical
portion aside, fancy, may it please. the
Court, that / can see the bosom or my
client throbbing with emotions OF salts
| faction at the result when he penned