Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-04-05
Chips.

path through life are caused by
standing in our own light.
Two Boston ladies have made for
the woman's pavilion at the Centen-
NAL flag of floss silk that cost 500.
An Irish editor says he can see no
earthly reason why woman should
not. be allowed to become medical
men
A negro judge in South Carolina
sent man to Jail for twenty days for
callinga lady friend "a duck-legged
heifer."
"Big long-legged men don't always
sometimes get ahead of lite boys" is
the Chinese for "the race is not always
to the swift"
The fashion of loading overskirts
with shot to keep them down mnst
have originated with some bullet
headed man
The Pail Mall Gazette advises la
dies to stop wearing the bodies of in
nocent birds on their hats, and to pa
tronize rats and mice.
Hair-splitting piety. The Jersey
City BARRIERS have resolved to stop
hair-cutting on Sundays, but will
continue to shave their customers as
usual.
Thos. L. ID. Ball, of Newark, N. j.,
committed suicide lately because his
wife kept him awake at night asking
for money for dress and to expend in
extravagant ways.
A st Louis woman says that good
waltzernever shows her ankles, and
that 1t is no worse to encircle lady's
waist with your arm than to hug
your friends sister OH the back stairs.
Burlington, Iowa, has a merchant
named Swindle; and Kansas City,
Missouri, has tailor named Swind-
Ter. AS both are honest men, couldn't
they sue for libel any one who called
them by name?
The last words of the San Jose Ad-
rertiser were: eve entered the
journalistic field on business propo-
sition, and Oh the same proposition
we leave it. We know when it is
time to die, and we are dead"
The London Times warns the young
King of Spain that his trials begin
with the end of the Carlist war. The
disorder caused by that rebellion has
heretofore been an excuse for all the
other disorders in the Kingdom,
which must now excuse themselves
if they can.
The wicked New York World saws
"Cornwallis, N. S., has lady teacher
who kisses the first boy who gets to
school in the morning, and the small
boys are crowded out of school by
children of larger growth, who
roost on the fences all night so as to
be up early"
Peter II. Bailey has sued the Sabula
Gazette and DIR. Boyd, the Preston
correspondent of the Lyons Mirror
for 30, GOO, each for SANDER. They say
that Bailey has been palming himself
off as Deputy United States Marshal,
and he is going to see how much
they know about il.
The Kosciusko (Miss.) Star men
tons the arrest of Thomas Wilkinson,
on the charge of having snapped
wives some years ago with one Har.
ris, resident Of Montgomery county.
The trade met the entire approba-
ton of both women, and Wilkinson
swears that he will die in jail before
he will swap back.
1t was in New Jersey Sunday
School. The Superintendent ap-
preached a youth of color who was
present for the first time, and inquired
his name for the purpose of placing il
on the roll. The good man tried in
vain to preserve his dignity when the
answer was returned "Well. massa
calls me Cap'n, but my maiden name
is Moses"
Each postal card mailed costs the
Government l q cents, or rs per cent.
more than it is sold for. Since the
postal cards came into general use,
the yearly deficiency i'm fhe depart
ment has increased from $4,63G, 1863 to
SS,lSl ,GO2. The estimated deficiency
for the Centennial year, is over &c.
100000. 1t is proposed by some that
the French system be introduced of
selling one cent stamps, and allow
the people to furnish their own cards.
The Danbury Netrs man is an ush-
er in one of the Danbury churches,
and on observing gentleman come
in with lady he always whispers
Married?' If the gentleman saws
yes, the usher seats the two as he best
can, even fit is five rods apart. If
the answer is in the negative, he gets
both of them in one pew if he has to
split some one i'm two 10 DO 1t. Five
years ago he was SO kicked by an in
dignant young swain whom he incon-
siderately separated from his ATTAIN
ced, that he has never forgotten it.
The Jacksonville (Florida,) Press
says that new dodge has turned up
in the confidence game. A young
girl of ten or twelve years of age is
the usual medium, directed, of course,
by male or female sharpers, who do
not appear in the transaction at all.
The dodge is for the girl to enter a
store ofany kind, and, laying down a
ten-cent scrip, asks to be obliged
with two five cent pieces. Receiving
them, she departs only to return in a
few minutes with leaden fac-simile
of five cent coin, which she says is
"nOt good" The merchant readily
exchanges 1t, giving no thought to
the matter. In this manner smart
girl can easily earn for her managers
several dollars day.