davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25
nAn Hir Guard.v

DR.. Chaplin told this story the other day to H.
lustrate the opinion some men have concerning
the effect of religion:
A pious old Kentucky Deacon-Deacon Shelby
was famous as shrewd horse dealer One
day farmer Jones went over to Bourbon County,
taking his black boy Jim with him to trade hors-
es with brother Shelby. After good deal of dick.
ering they finally made trade, and Jim rode
the new horse home.
Wasn't your master afraid the Deacon would
get the best of him in the tradef asked some of
the Deacon's neighbors, as Jim rode past
'Oh, mop replied Jim, as his eyes glistened
with new intelligence, "massa knOwed how dea-
con Shelby has dun got kinder pious lately, and
he tras on his guard"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

CHICAGO Times: George, my darling George,
promise me one thing" said the Young bride Of
a month, as she threw her arms around her hus-
bands neck and gazed anxiously into his face
What is it, preciousf" he asked, as he drew her
to his bosom. Promise ne, George, dear, that
you will not become a Presidential candidate n
''Wby, my darling, that is asking good deal, y
he replied, and his conntenance darkened
(" There are Jones, Smith and Brown, and in fact
all the best people-they are candidates. You
want me to be somebody, don't you'll" "Yes
yes, George, 1 do, do" said the young wife
bursting into tears; "but all the newspapers
will tell how big my feet are, and you know folks
never think that anybody's feet may be good
shaped if they are large"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25
when she viii Nrarry Herbert.

A beautiful and basbful Young woman of about
nineteen summers called at the Office of life as
surance agent last week, aud asked: " How long
will man of 81, and that eats peas with his knife
livei" According TO our table, madame" re-
piled the agent, " he should, on the average sur
yiye IL years, 3 months, and 16 days" THAT, /"
said his visitor, "would be till the LIST of August,
1887" Precisely, madame" "And how much
could l insure his life for" "Oh, for any
amount, say for 5o,oOO," he answered, taking up
a blank form of application. WELL" said the
young woman, al think, then, that I'll marry
him." ENSURE him, You mean 2" replied the
agent. "No, marry him: You insure him. You
see," she added, with burst of confidence,
love Herbert, and Mr.. Dawkns is old enough to
be my grandfather. But Herbert is poor, and
just worship the corner lots that Mr.. Dawkins
builds on. And Herbert is very patient, and
says that if will only fix day, no matter how
long he may have to wait, he will be happy.
Now, you say Mr.. Dawkins will die by the LIST of
August, 1887, and as it wouldn't be decent to
marry again till Pre been year in mourning,
I'll arrange to marry Herbert on the I'd of A1-
gust, 15SS."-ChicdgO Tribune.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

PADDY MCSHANE was annoyed exceedingly by
a strange dog One cold winter night, the wind
cutting like knife, after the dog had been turn
ed out no less than three times, Pat was awaken
ed by. q rather extensive fracture of the glass.
The dog was in the house again. Paddy waited
upon him out, and both were absent some fifteen
minutes, so that his old woman becoming alarm
ed at such prolonged absence, rose and went to
the window.
"What are yees doing out there, Paddy, acush-
LAT" said she.
There was such q chattering of teeth that the
answer for some time was somewhat unintslligi-
BILE. At last it came:
81 am thrying to fraze the divilish haste to
DEATH
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

SICK HEADACHE.-The following cure for sick
headache was furnished to the Boston Medical
Journal, by DIR. N. S. Folsom, of Portsmouth,
N. H.
"Take any number of drops of croton oil, mix
them with flour and molasses, and make as many
pills as the drops of oil used. When the patien
feels the sick headache coming on, of pill is
to be taken every half hour in molasses, or some
thing of like consistence, until it acts cathar
tic: and thus treat the sick headache at each at
tack. If TINS taken, each attack will be less
severe, and in some cases q few doses effect a
cure" He seems to think the crotOn oil acts in
three ways:-1. By increasing the secretOns. 2.
By cOnnteracting the anti-peristaltic action of
the stomach and bowels; and 3, by acting a
counter irritant to the brain.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

To CAN STRAwBERRIEs.-Strawb berries, canned
as we often see them, tcithoaf sugar and Nth n
generous addition of water, are tasteless and I'M
slightly, and insulting to the true strawberry
name and flavor. They can be canned, however,
to be very delicious Hull the berries and sugar
them as you hull them, about as plentifully
as you would sugar them upon the table, a
little more so let them stand until they draw
somewhat of syrnp, hut not until they are
shriveled; then place them, few at time, in
your preserving kettle and boil just few min
ntes, and place int the jars and seal. They re-
tain both their color and flavor.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

EARLY TOMAToEs.-To get early tomatoes,
says writer on the subject, You must, rs soon
as your tomato plant has made four leaves, pinch
the top bud from the stem, then take MP the
plant, pinch off two inches from the top root and
transplant it in q common box frame, where the
soil is rich and lOamy. The box will keep off the
wind, and plants sown and grown there eighteen
inches apart, will produce fruit two weeks soon
er than the same planted in the open ground. A
mat or few boards, spread over the frame at
night, will keep them from FROST and is far easi-
and setting boxes over each hill. As soon as the
plants have set fruit on two blossoms of each
branch, and the top has grown two to four leaves,
the Plnehlng OF the ends of each branch and top
should be again put in practice
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

How TO DRIVE OFF VERMIN.-If mosquit oes
or other blood suckers infest our sleeping rooms
at night, we uncork bottle of the oil of PEN
nyroyal, and they leave in great haste, nor will
they return so long as the air in the room is i'm
pregnated with the fumes of that aromatic herb.
If rats enter the cellar, a little powered potash
thrown IN their holes, or mixed with meal and
scattered in their runways, never fails to drive
them away. Cayenne pepper will keep the but
terry and store room free from ants and cockroaches
If a mouse makes an entrance into any part of
your dwelling, saturate a rag with cayenne in
solution, and stuff it into the hole, which can be
repaired with either wood or mortar No rat or
mouse will ever eat that rag for the purpose of
opening communication with depot of supplies
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

RURAL ADoRNMENT.-I like the advice to all
and every one to do something to make our pub
lie rOadsdes more attractive. Give a decent
foot-path, if possible, so that yours and your
neighbors' children can 20 back and forth to
school and church without trudging like an OK
or horse in the deep mud of the roadway. If you
can't do better, then make it all smooth, at least
in front of your own border, and SO may you
hope to, ere long, shame your ignorant, stupid,
ugly narrow minded neighbor into doing like
wise. Set ont few trees, if you will, on the
roadside, but don't make a fool of yourself by
forgetting that each maple or elm tree wants at
least fifty to seventy feet to develop itself, and
while it gives a shade to the road lets in the sun
TO dry the same.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

GREEN PEAs.-COok them soon after pick
ing as possible Marion Harland says "shell and
lay them in cold water until they are ready for
cooking" / say never wet them until you cook
them il Won can avoid it. To secure this shell
them as clean as possible, Pour boiling water
over them, and boil half an hour, or little less
if they are very tender. Do not salt them until
they are soft, and then Int lightly, their own fa-
vor is 50 delicious Add little cream or milk if
you have it, but never add any butter except
the very best aud not that if you have cream.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

CHAT SETTLES IRA young man at a social
replied that he would first tell q story, and then,
if they still persisted in their demand, he would
endeayor TO execute song. He said, when
boy, he took lessons in singing, and one Sunday
morning he went up alone into his fathers gar
ret to practice. While in full cry he was sud-
denly sent for by the old gentleman. This is
pretty conduct" said the father; "pretty EN-
ployment for the son of pious parents, to be saw
ing boards in garnet on Sunday morning. loud
enough to be heard by all the neighbors. Do sit
down and take your book" Tho young man
was excused from singing.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

lady writing for the Farmer says: "Grease
your bedsteads, and bugs disappear" Ny expe-
rience is to keep them clear of dust and they
will never appear. As prevention is always
better than cure," / will tell you how have
managed. Every spring varnish my bedsteads,
then every week romove the beds to dust them,
cold water. 1 have adopted this plan for ten
wears, and have found none in my house. Per
hans you will say, "What shall do if they are
there already 7" Adopt the same plan, and if
Won have old bedsteads which cannot be cleaned
get new ones, and you will find you can keep
house without the annoyance of bugs.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

House plants ought to be gently stimulated
once or twice a week. Rain water, so refreshing
to summer flowers always contains ammonia,
which also abounds in all liquid manures. Take
an ounce of pulverized ammonia, dissolved in
one gallon of water it will make spring water
even more stimulating to young plants than rain
water. Keep the soil in the flower pots loose.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

PROF. LINDSEY says the best remedy he has
ever tried in habitual constipation, is TO take
half drachm of EPSON salts, dissolved in half pint
of water-adding ten drops of Elixer of vitriol-
one hour before breakfast. The smaller the dose
the better, provided it will operate. 1t may be
taken for weeks till cure is effected.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

MILK AS MEDICINE An interesting article re-
Gently appeared i'm the London MIR Journal,
concerning the value of milk as a remedial agent
in certain diseases. Several physicians of high
standing regard it a specific for diarrhea, dy-
sentery, and incpient clolera. The milk should
not be boiled, but heated sufficiently to be agrees
ably warm. Ii is also recommended rs of great
value in typhoid fevers-as cooling and nourish-
ing, and as promoting sleep.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

LET Us HAVE AR.-Our children starve for air
rather than for bread. Let us see to it that their
apartments at home and in the schoOl-rOOm are
well ventilated. and that they are not too long
confined on hard benches, in crowded rooms. Let
them learn to play as well as to study. Let us
educate their bodies as well as their minds.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

sALTPETRE is the cure for the currant wexss.
several gardens were saved last Summer. and
al the worms therein destroyed, by the follow
ing mixture: To barrel of soft water add a
pslInl OF soft soap, and three-quarters of pound
of saltpetre, dissolved, If a garden svr;pgs il
nor Mandy, throw the liquid OF with a broom.
II tne hrSt dose is not enough, add a little salt
petre and try it again.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

SECURING IN SHEEP.-To prevent sheep from
securing when first turned to grass in the Spring,
give them DO salt from the time they are turned
out until after shearing; OF, what we think is
much better, let them have access to salt at all
times, Summer and Winter Either plan will
produce the desired effect
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

NEWLY-sET gratis should be inspected couple
d weeks after setting. in order to repair any
cracking or opening in the wax. Wherever there
Is crack or opening it should be carefully wax
Cd over. Il will do no harm to look after the
gratis the whole of May.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

To CURE DRoPsY.-We see it asserted, though
we do not know upon whose authority, that a
tea made of chestnut leaves and drank in the
place of water, will cure the most obstinate case
of dropsy in a few DAYS.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25
FORTY YEARS nxroRx TIE PUBLIC
DR.. G. MCLANE'S
CELEBRATED -
LIVER PILLS,
FOR THE CURE OF
Hepatitis or Liver Complaint
DYSPEPSIA AND SICK HEADACHE
Symptoms of a Diseased Liver.

symptoms OF a Diseased Liver.
Dam in the right side, under the edge
i of the ribs, increases on pressure;
sometimes the pain is in the leftside; the
patient IS rarely able to lie on the lett
side; sometimes the pain is felt under
the shoulder-blade, and it frequently ex-
tends to the top of the shoulder, and IS
sometimes mistaken for rheumatism in
the arm. The stomach is affected with
loss ofappetite and sickness; the bowels
In general are costive, sometimes alterna-
tive with lax the head is troubled with
pain, accompanied with dull, heavy
sensation in the back part. There is
generally considerable loss ofmemory,
accompanied with painful sensation of
having left undone something which
ought to have been done. A slight, dry
cough is sometimes an attendant. The
patient complains of WEAKNESS and de-
bility; he is easily startled, his feet are
cold or burning, and he complains ola
prickly sensation of the skin; his spirits
are low; and although he is satisfied that
exercise would be beneficial to him, yet
he can scarcely summon up fortitude
enough to try it. In fact, he distrusts
every remedy. Several of the above
symptoms attend the disease, but cases
have occurred wherefew ofthem existed,
determination ofthe body, after death,
has shown the LIVER to have been ex-
tensively deranged.
AGUE AND FEVER.
DR.. C.. McLANE's LIVER PILLS, IN
CASES OF AGUE AND FEVER, when taken
with Quinine, are productive of the
most happy results. No better cathartic
can be used, preparatory to, or after
taking Quinine. We would advise all
who are afflicted with this disease to
give them A FAIR TRIAL.
. For all Bilious arrangements, and as
a simple purgative, they are unequaled.
BEWARE OF INVITATIONS.
The genuine DIR. c. McLANE's LIVER
PILLS are never sugar coated.
Every box has red wax seal on the =
lid, with the impression DR.. McLANE's
LIVER PILLS.
The genuine McLANE'S LIVER PILLS
bear the signatures of c. McLANE and
FLEMING Bros. on the wrappers.
sS- Insist on your druggist or
storekeeper giving you the genuine
DR.. c. McLANE's LIVER PILLS, pre-
pared by Fleming Bros, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Sold by all respectable druggists and
country storekeepers generally.
To those wishing to give DR. C. McLASz's LIVER
Plus trial. we will mail post paid any part of the
United States one box Of Pills for twenty-five
FLEMING EROS, Pittsburgh, Pa.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

An old Scotchwoman, whose favorite son was
in the habit of swearing occasionally, was Gems
ured by her minister for not correcting him.
ats vara wrong, minister" she admitted, " but
We maun aloo that it sets aft conversation
NIGHTLY"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

An anatomist has dissected another venerable
belief by asserting that bow-legs in babies may
be prevented by keeping socks on their little
feet, thus restraining them from rubbing the soles
together.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

olrvE LOGAN boasts that she is the only wo-
man on the American continent who knows how
70 manage a husband. Is her way the soft, per-
suaslVe way, or the rolling pin wayf
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

A CORRESPONDENT of the RaraI Ner Yorker
states that severe jarring of currant bushes at
noon IN clear day, will cause currant worms to
crop 70 the ground, and not one in 5ffy win re-
gam the bush. He had tried this method three
years, and saved his fruit.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

DON'T come to see me any more inst vet.
J9nn father has been having his boots half-sol-
ed, win two rows of nails around the toes, "
wrote gnieless girl to her lover
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

DASBURY Neics: Il would not for anv monav "
says Jean Paul Richter, have had money in nv
youth" That's the way We feel. We would
much rather have it now
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

HALF drachm of bicarbonate of soda dissolved
in an ounce of water is the latest cure for tooth
ache. Failing that, have it out.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25

LANDLORD, didn't You ever have ! oen,l.r.,
stop with you beforei" "Are you a gentleman ~
Yes, am Then never had one stop with
me BEFORE avs
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25
Ghe fun of the Ching.
SPRING.


SPRING.
Now doth the little onion
Poke mp its little head
And the restless little rafish
Stretch IN his Httle bed
The sunfsh and the minpow
Wag their shiny little tails
W While the ehipmunks and the robin
Asorn the fences rails.
The blossom by the hedge side,
And along the city's street,
Tells Of the beauteous Spring time,
And the rOses blooming sweet
SIGNS OF THE TIMES.
By the itfnI wind that blows,
By the sneezing Of our nose,
By the aching Of our corns,
BY the need Of sitter horns.
By the landlords awful figure,
BY the gas bills big and bigger,
By the work We have 70 raise
Money for these settling days,
BY the house that takes us in,
By the carmans fees and din,
By the wheeling Oft the asthma
BY the First Of May phantasma,
BY the deuce to pay at home,
We may know that sptiEg has come
Tke Great Unkaewn.
Ba-a ba-a, colored folks,
Have you any wooli
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
Three States full.
One for Morton,
One for Blaine,
And one for the Great Unknown,
That's hiding In the lane.
IN IL wise, before you lay aside -
Your Winter overcoat
You'd turn its pockets inside out,
For letter or for note
Your wife unto your motherinlaw
About last Christmas wrote. 20
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-05-25
Il ALI For One Dollar

-LErTERHEADs. BILLHEADs. ENVELOPES
MONTHLY STATEMENT BLANKg sna N .aeh 1a-l
executed In the best style tie Ckf<f afics.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-09

THE LADIES of st. Matthews Society
for furnishing refreshments at Sim
mons Hall Tuesday evening we're there
In elegance and force ready to wait
upon whoever might require their SER
vices. They did their full part to make
the entertainment pleasant and salts
factory to all in attendance and profit
able to ST. Matthews Society. Ard they
were quite successful. Many partook
of the refreshments and were satisfied.
The avails to the Society amounted to
about $500.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-09

ing Thursday, November 80, as q Day If Ma
tiOnal Thanksgiving.
BY the President Of the United States of America:
From year to year we have been accustomed to
pause In our daily pursuits and set apart time
TO offer our thanks to Almighty God for special
blessings He has vouchsafed TO us, with our
this time equal reason to be thankful for HI con
tinued protectiOn,and for many material blessings
Which His bounty has bestowed. In addition to
the faVOrS acSOrded TO US as individuals we have
especial occasion to express hearty THANKS 10
Almighty God that by His providence and gu:d-
ance our Government, established century ago.
has been enabled to fulfill the purpose of it's
, founders In offering al asylum to the people of
every race securing civil and religious liberty to
all within lis borders, and melting out to every in.
dividual alike justice and equality before the law
humble prayers to the Father of All Mercies for a
continuance of His divine favor 10 us as a matt on
and as individuals. BY reason OF ali these con
siderations, |, Ulysses S. Grant, President Of the
United States, do recommend to the people Of the
United States to devote the 80th day of November
next TO the expression of their thanks and pray .
ers to Almighty God, and laying aside their daily
avocatiohs and all secular occupations, to ass en-
bic in their resp ctive places of worship and OBJ
In witness whereof have hereunto set my hand
and caused the zeal of the Uuited States to be
affixed
Done at the city of Washington this 26th day of
October, in the yearot our Lord one Thousand
eight hundred and seventy-six, and of the Inde-
pendence Of the United States of America the one
hundred and first u. S. GRANT.
By the President:
HAMILTON FISH, Secretary of State.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-09
Teachers Institute.

There will be Teachers institute, for the
benefit OF the teachers of both city and county,
in the city OF Kenosha December let and I'd.
The following subjects will be considered
l Geography, General. the causes which pro
duce the change of seasons; special,
KENOsHA COUNTY.
Drawing.
History and Government of Wisconsin
Primary Reading.
Advanced Reading
Written Arithmetic Proportion-M Methods
OF Teaching some of the more difficult sub
jects in Arithmetic.
Physiology Respiration.
Grammar-Infnitives and Participates.
There will also be discussions on the best
methods OF teaching these subjects together with
instruction on the theory and practice of teach
ing.
A lecture also may be expected on Friday even
ing.
All interested in the Cause OF education are
cordially invited TO be present,
t. P. MARYATT,
Prin. Kenosha High School.
D. II. FLETT, Co. SuDt.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-09
Advertised Letters

TWNHEfolIcwlngi is a list Of ettersrema aiming I'M
sha County. Wis. for the week ending Nov.
9th, 1876 and which will he sent 70 the Dead
Letter Office atthe expiration OF 30 days unless
called for.
Abel Johanne (3l Miller Miss Annie
Carlson Chas Mooney Robt
Eyins Miss Nelson Myers Lucy
Helt Miss Stella Rev Joe
Johnson r Schoits Jacob
Ieona,d D. Shiel W
Lanphire G II Wagner Margaret
To obtain any of the above letters the applicant
must give the date of this list
CHARLES FRANTZ, P. M