Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-03-02
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

ITEMS OF INTEREST.
He who never attempts never wins,
THE weather mans diet-Cold SNAPS"
CARvERs of their own fortunes-Butch-
srs.
A PAIR of slippers-a span Of smoothly
shod horses.
PARToNs first wife would be his moth
er-in-law now.
THE Z" alcoholic malefactors' is what
Harper's Week}y calls them.
Why is the peacock like the figure 81
1t is nothing without its tail.
THE toughest wood is that near the con-
fiuence of a limb with the body of a
tree.
A GEORGIA paper wants to knew if
poker is part of what is called "a
liberal education y
THE Rev. Mr.. ColIver says there is d
good deal of Christianity in keeping ones
sidewalk clear of snow
DON'T marry till you can support a
husband. That's the advice the Barnsta-
bic Patriot gives the Cape girls.
THERE are men who think detecting a
typographical error in a newspaper, after
it is too late to correct it, is something
worth living ior.-N. 7. Independent.
IT is said that there are 400, 900 feathers
upon the wing of a silk-wOrm moth, and
that any one doubling the truth Of the state
ment can easily satisfy himself by count
ing them.
THE Cheyenne Leader says: A." 4 large
number of cappers, loafers and gamblers
have been ordered by the authorities to
leave the city on pain of Imprisonment
and heavy fine"
A BILL has been introduced in the
New York Legislature directing street
railroad companies, under heavy penal
ties, to provide fourteen inches of COM
Portable seat for each passenger.
WHILE the fashionable and wealthy are
hurrying to and fro in violent dissipa-
ton, the poor and quiet of the earth are
engaged in laying by health and comforts
for long and happy years to come.
LET troubles
Like bubbles
In the mist of oblivion depart;
Don't nurse them
Nor rehearse Them
But Danish them out of the heart.
THERE is a class of people who ask you
why you "don't'' come to their house,
but never say "do." They are nearly
related to the gentleman who has always
got C a bill to take up whenever you
wish to effect a small loan from him.
Mrs. SPLINKs," observed a boarder
to the landlady of a Munson street. cara
vansary; the equal adjustment Of this
establishment could be more safely Sc
cured if there was less hair in the hash
and more in the mattresses. "-DanbuTy
NeOs.
A STONE sent from Pioneer Bar, Mon
tana, to England to be cut, turned out to be
diamond of good quality, and as other
similar stones have been found in the
vicinity, it is thought there will be con-
siderable diamond hunting on that bar in
the spring.
You people whose noses turn up or
have hump in the center can take heart.
There's a man in New York who can
take such a nose and in six weeks make it
as beautiful as an Italian sunset; charges
moderate-women f-price.-Detr0A
Free Press.
OWING to the mildness Of the present
winter, the daughters Of plumbers ana
cOal-dealers are not as much courted in
society as they have been in previous sea-
sons. On the other hand, the children of
ice-dealers are everywhere treated with
marked consideration. -ChlcGg0 Tribune.
A BILL has been introduced in the
Maryland Legislature which makes it IN
lawful for the proprietor, lessee or mana
ger of any entertainment to mark or
designate any seat as sold, reserved or
taken, unless it has been actually sold one
hour prior to the commencement of the
entertainment.
A Boston boy is so highly educated
that he covers the white walls of the
kitchen with pentagons, hexagons, Octa-
CONS and polygons, although he can
scarcely read. The aggrieved parent
wants to know how long he is to be made
an isosceles triangle of, and declares that
if this sort of thing is not put stop to
soon he will make an acute angle out of
some geometrical teachers prominent
feature.
THERE is something wrong in Pennsyl-
vania or the Centennial Fair is having
singular effect. The Pennsylvania Rail
road Company contracted to rebuild the
Market street bridge, which was destroyed
by fire, for $50, 600; and now the Presi-
dent of the company has just written to
the Mayor of the city advising him that
the bridge cost only $62, 405 and returning
the unexpected $2,595.
CERTAINLY. An EDITORS sanctum is.
managed and maintained for impecunious
gentlemen of leisure 10 spend their time
~, tho pGifnr IF ho