Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1876-03-09
A CHICAGO DRUMMER.
His Sad Experience I'm NOdaway, Mo.

His sad Experience I'm Nodaway, Mo.
The New York Mercury is responsible fo1
| the following:
''kun, gals, anG shuck yerselves in hurry
the strangers comm in. And Missouri Ann
you just git inter them Sunday duds O. your 4
quicker'n shootin', or you'll heer from me,
your mother"
That was what Mrs. Martingale, of Noda.
| way county, Missouri, told her daughters,
when she saw well-dressed man ride up to
her hitching-rail and alight from his horse.
''Come right in, stranger. Take cheer
and sit down. Fine weather now for a mos,
| anything Shed yer great-coat, stranger,
and come clus to the fire and git warm. The
gals is gone to shuck themselves, but they
won't be more Il mint about it,.
He was Chicago drummer, and he had
lost his road. Prudent mothers in Nodaway
don't encourage the attentions of Chicago
drumners, because they say those gentlemen
from Chicago are ''no account men,"
He was a married man at home, but he
didn't go around introducing himself every
where as the happy father OF the six smartest
boys in the State of Illinois; nor did he carry
a pocketful of his wife's photographs to dis
tribute in every town on his road He sold
drugs and druggists sundries on commission :;
and he was ready to bet bis bottom dollar
that he sold more quinine. calomel and God
frey's cordial in one month than any man
travelling ont of Chicago.
He didn't feel bad about it when Mrs. Mar
tingale slung her kettle on the fire and set her
coffee-mil to grinding for him. On the con-
trary, he encouraged hel endeavors by saying
that he never knew woman with head
shaped like hers who couldn't Just knock the
spots off everything when she tried her hand
at frying spare-ribs or making coffee. She
tried to disparage her cooking ty saying that
shoats this year didn't pan out according to
expectations; then the weather. had been so
warm that it was mighty hard work to keep
sparc-ribs and joles from spelling.
tie didn't require any second invitation to
sit up and help himself 70 her hot cookery,
and he wasn't bothered with looking over
bill of fare to see what be wanted. He made
a square meal on it before she had time to ask
him where he was from, or whether he was
married or single. The daughters appeared
in their prettjest just wren he was moving
back from the table.
Stranger, this is my darter, Missouri
Ann; that one is Florida Jane, and t'other
one is Sadie Maria They're just about as
peert gals as thar is i'll Nodaway. They're
Ill Ot EN- Wlllln 10 spark. now, Gals, slt
down and talk to the stranger"
And Mrs. Martineale busted herself clear
ing the table, leaving her charming daugh-
tiers to entertain the Chicago man of drugs;
when suddenly it occurred &c her that she
had not yet learned where be was from, nor
what his calling was-two important things
for prudent mother to know
Il reckon you're from Omaha or the
Bluffs, Mister:''
mo; hail from further east
''Toure from over the river Ncwhrasky,
anyhow?"
mo l live in Chicago
''Shecargo! Gals, shuck back agin inter
your old duds. He amt worth a lead nickle.
Amt you looking for a pardner, mister:"
s'No; don't want to marry"
'Then you jest git up and git mighty sud-
den. We amt no green gooseberrics--me
and my gals We don't want no man coming
yer that amt looking for pardners.
Now you git! Florida Jane, you call them
dogs!'
That Chicago man of drugs mounted his
horse and rode away in such haste that he
forgot to say good-by. But the next night
when be met three drummer friends in Omaha
and told them the story, they all sighed and
called for hot drinks at his expense, for they
were sorry to see such innocence travelling
from Chicago.