River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1876-11-02

require II IL you 90 you are 1lllSlttA-
en-. grope for it with my gloves on !; L
hunt for it with my gloves off ; a dodge
first in one corner, then in the other,
and each time along the intermediate
channel but no-there is no coin, and
then the conductor ironically asks me
if l want to keep the bus all day.
of course l don't, and I feel very
much provoked rs produce my porte
mounaie, drop my umbrella in the
muddy street where we are standing.
tumble out a twO-shilling piece, and
wait for change, with all the passeng-
ers craning forward TO look, and the
driver shouting to his mate to-
'sLook alive, there "
| get my change-I have already re-
covered my umbrella-and bound to
the pavement shore, out of the muddy
river after narrowly escaping a run
down from hanson, when, to my an
noyance, am minus a glove, and-yes
there it lies, ground into the mud by
the hanson wheel.
OF course I have TO go on, buy new
pair, and as ] pay for them, having
grown cold in the shop, | mentally say,
II wonder what became of that four
penny piece" end my hand invOlunta-
Tily goes to the pocket of my vest, and
yes, there it isl can feel it plainly
enough through the cloth.
merely say "Where was that little
coin before ~
mentioned my loss, and that natur-
ally brings me back to gloves-a COW
ering of the hands in which had been
nearly ruined.
With my customary practice of neat
ness, / double my gloves together, the
white and lavender kids, which, be
tween ourselves, L always make last as
| long as possible, and then send them
to be cleaned. Now, the home of my
| light kid gloves is in my left-hand tail
coat pocket, and | fish them out just
as | am goingiinto the theatre or ''at
home - and this is always the case !:
| | put on one, get it buttoned, and am
| about to put on its fellow when | find
| that if il is a white kid on my hand, |
| hold a lavender kid in my hand, or
vice versa. They are sure to be odd
ones. and | am certain that put them
away in pairs.
why don't | look before l start, you
will say.
Because don't think to look, and
one does not feel it necessary after
| regular precautions. And again say.
How is this
If IL be not the workings of some
sprite full of mischief, what is it !
Again find myself putting chloro-
dyne on my handkerchief, because the
bottles have been changed; and when,
in a fit of passion, | dash down the
nasty ethery, pepperminty pain-easer.
take Il clean pocket handkerchief, and
scent that, find | am doing it with
the tincture OF myrrh, or the gummy
stuff the fellow bored me into buying
when last my hair was cut.
Only a week ago | had my breakfast
spoiled by letter which came by post
1t was as follows, and there was an en-
closure:
No. 10 JERMYN STREET, Friday
Sir: am at a loss to understand thu
meaning OF this note, and should be glad /
you would explain, for | am man wht
makes il his rule neither to borrow nor LEND
money. II you had any ideas Of the latte
kind in sending ii, believe me that a franl
request would have been better.
am your obediant servant,
J. WELLLBY PURNow.
To I. WOoLLY, Esq.
| i WAS dlildZGN. anu odI WIFI bilC llOOS
in my hand, unable to comprehend 1T
| had asked PUrnow to come and dine
with me at the Curacao Club. anC
wouldn't have asked him fol money
for the world. Besides, didn't want
any--just then.
At last, by way of solving the mys
teay, I took up the inclosure to read
in my own hand:
No. 142 Bye STREET, Monday
DEAR OLD Boy: Let me have that tel
pounds, there's a good fellow. You prom
Used it before Christmas, and its now May
Thine. T. WooLLY.
Yes, wrote that, but it was to Jacl
Shorter, who owes me no end of Dor
rowed money, which | get back little
at time. But how did Purnow get it
StOp-nO-yes-no be sure
did: | wrote to both at the same
time. and the notes must have beer
put-yes, deliberately say, in wills
per, mind-put into the wrong envel
: Opes
/ was 2ghast for time-it seemed
so horrible; but at last / recovered
myself sufficiently to take my hat anC
90 to the telegraph office, to send {;
message to PuTnOw, telling him it was
a mistake, and that he must come di
rectly, for had ordered capital din
ner at the club.
| got that message very cleverly
within twenty words, got out a shil
ling, and was just going to hand boil
; to the pleasing-lOoking young tele
! graph clerkess, when horrible
thought ran through me like a chill
and | stood as if transfixed. Jacl
Shorter had got Purnow's note, and hC
would come to the club to dinner
Worse still, to me, as we sat together
with coffee and cigars, he would Dor
row another ten-pound note of me, Of
perhaps be kind enough to take it il
two fyes.
What was | to do! dare not brin&
J those two men together. / did no
want Jack. Oh 1t was dreadful. Blu
the dinner was ordered, and NIGH
Just as well be eaten SO | went away
making the pleasing-lOOking young
telegraph clerkess look upon me a:
very strange in my ways and wrote al
explanatory letter to Purnow, appoint
ing another day for the dinner bu
he declined to come, and feel sure he
believed my note was try-on fol
money.
But Jack Shorter came, and ate my
dinner; and as [ said, so he dld-ht
borrowed to fives over our coffee
which sum he will never pay.
It's an awful position fOr man tC
be in, and l suffer from it at every
turn. have found my gun unaccount
ably rusty; my fishing lines horribly
tangled, and my top joints broken.
have found my choice cigars moldy,
my soda-water without a fiZZ left in
the bottle, my tea disappear and the
number of umbrellas that have DELHI.
erately gone away dare not enumer-
ate, for my sake--not yours.
Enough. / am the Haunted Man,