The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-01-28
RIP SLAM'S MISFORTUNES.
who KindIed the Great Fire at Baker's
Gulch?

who KindIed the Great Fire at Bakers
GuIch?
My name is Slam-Rupert Slam, but
out our way the boys, with natural turn
to be vulgar, call me Rip Slam. am a
Virginian by birth, printer by educa-
ton, an editor by dl stiny, and conduct
the Bakers Gulch ReUeilie, in connec-
ton with which / have lately earned
some undeserved notoriety, having been
compelled to shoot Mr.. Lapp, the rival
editor at Bakers Gulch, who had charge
of villainous compound of libel and
false pretenses, styled the Mountain
DaaOn. Lapp is dead, and it is true L
shot him, but that the deed could have
been avoided deny, and equally deny
that it was a culpable deed in itself. On
the contrary, l shall assert, to my dying
day, that it was deed done in behalf of
good morals, and this assertion L will
maintain with any arms the controverting
party may choose to select.
The Bakers Gulch ReUeuIe is pub
lished every Wednesday; the Mountain
Dd,Un comes out every Saturday. We
thus divided the week and the patronage
between us, and | was content to have it
SO; but Lapp was not. He wanted all
the subscribers and all the advertise
ments, and he wanted also to be Clerk of
the County Court. The result was that,
instead of being Damons and Pythiases,
Mr.. Lapp and myself became rivals. /
conducted my share of the controversy
upon the most honorable, high toned
principles. 1t is not impugning the
memory of the deceased to say that Mr..
Lapp conducted his part of the rivalry
like fish huckster.
/ was and am bachelor. [ boarded
at the hotel, but [ slept over the Office of
the ReUejLLe, where a small iron bed
stead, buffalo robe, some chairs, a spit
toon, and the tiles of the ReUeiiie COM
prised my small furniture. The night
before the last great fire which consumed
Bakers Gulch there was poker party
met in my apartment aforesaid. A bar
rel and two shutters were in the habit of
serving us for a table, so that it became
saying with the Bakers GulchCrs,
"Slam's shutters are off, ;" meaning that
game of some sort was in progress. On
this occasion there were six of us in the
party and seven or eight spectators,
most of whom would have liked to play,
but were prevented by impecuniosity.
OF the players, L only remember Capt.
Fristow, of our stamping mill; Rube
Rollins, Mr.. Lapp, and myself. We
were playing a rather lively game of the
25-cent ante species, with good deal of
binding and straddling. Lapp, who
had propensity to hold good hands OH
inopportune occasions, somehow had all
the luck in calling me when was most
30 h. ao1lo1 L.,
nothing worth showing. On this night
speak of, Lapp's luck was perfectly
astounding, and he won from everybody.
Mr. Rollins was in bad humor, and L,
filled with the insane desire to get back
my earnings. Lapp, l need not say,
never lost his composure, nor ever
showed more life, more fire, than you
will find in an oyster or a cucumber.
He dealt the cards with his usual clumsy
composure, and looked after the antes
and chips with the assiduity of nurse
minding infants by the margin of q duck
pond. Gentlemen" he said, "as !
am winning this evening, think l can
afford to stand treat" So he kicked up
Capt. Fristow's niger, asleep on the
floor, and sent him over to the hotel to
get us q couple of bottles of wine. When
It came / held pair of knaves on the
deal / drew three cards, and found
myself in possession of another jack and
two aces-a delightfully."- full hand. 1t
took me 81 to come i'll, and, as i was
just then without chips, / borrowed from
Fristow, who was slumbering again.
Mr. Rollins passed out, and Mr.. Lapp
Immediately saw the pile on the talae
and bet so. L saw his so, and went
him S25 better "See here" said he,
in his impertinent way, "I'm your
friend. / don't want to win your money
I've got good hand, and, if you'll
Just cali me, it's all right-I'll show it !"
"Mr. Lappl" shouted, "you are a
beggarly scoundrel, unfit to play cards
with gentlemenl Do you see my cards,
or do you surrender" "No, don't
sec 1" he sneered. How can 1 seeit
when it is not put upon the table Put
up your money and I'll talk to you.
"You know that my word il good for
it." said 1. "Jf you win from me you
It'll Lovo tJ,a rnonav fo-morrozv- aitar