Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1876-06-29

| a CHUNK Ol lCc W ulS ucdu 1O1 tCu mlQuLeS,
and then turning up the light cautiously, sat
down on the edge of the bed. He was afraid
| of being misnterpreted, SO he became ex-
ceedingly deliberate in his speech.
''Saw DR.. Elah tonight, and had a long
talk with him. Sent his regards. He says l
am working too hard and must have rest"
! ''Poor boy! That's what I've been forever
telling you, dear. Now, suppose We take a
! trip on the lake when the warm weather
comes. It's just the thing you need.
20, trip on the lake is all very we'll but
tell you I've got hold of something that'll
fix me all (hic) right without that. DR.. Elah
! told me about it,
"What is it," said Mrs. McDuffy.
'Kou (hic) koumiss."
''Kookoomis,' said she, wonderirgly !;
''what's kookoomis?''
Il didn't say kookoomis," said Mr.. Nc
| Duffy, rather irritated; Il said kou (hic)
! kOumiss"
"Well, and what is kookoomis, then, l
want to know? %
20 nothing particular, perhaps--only some
preparation-fiZzes like seidlltz powder
mares milk. You know the old Bashkirs out
in Tartary-they don't die of consumption or
anything. They keep drinking 1.-two hum
dred years ago and more It's like this-a
that nobody knew about it before. Think of
''Is there anybody out on the front steps? :?
Did anybody see you home?"
Il mean the steppes of Tartary, what are
you thinking about?' said MIR. McDuffy in a
huff
''Well, well, dear, come to bed, your brains
overworked," said the innocent creature, with
some anxiety, and just the least little bit of
alarm.
Every WE'LL" said John, in lofty tone,
''then you have no interest in me getting
strong and healthy and fat
''Don't l." said Mrs. McDuffy; 'and that
reminds me that l have something to tell
you.
''Ah, you have, have, have you?'
eyes. Do you know, dear, that | have
commenced the Bantam system? Yes.
shan't drink any more beer, and shan't eat
any potatoes or cabbages, nor drink milk,
tea, and | don't know all what But | am
going to stick to it. I'm determined to grow
thin
"All right" quoth John, ''and I'm de-
termined to grow fat if l can. so I'll 90 in
for kou (hic) koumiss, and you can 60 in for
Bantam. You save money on Bantam and
III spend it on koumiss."
eve just read the book Mrs. Pease lent me-"
said Mrs. John, land all have to do is AVOID
eating any sacrilegious substances. I'll be so
glad it I'm not fleshy.'
This had been the nearest approach to an
urpleasantness between the couple that had
ever occurred since the day they were mar
ried, and however trivial it might seem to the
ordinary wife-beater, it actually worried the
good soul next day to think that she had
suspected John of having drank little too
much.
However, she proceeded Systematically to
make herself a practical illustration of the
Banting system, and went on living on ''beef
straight as John jocosely called it, and but
terless bread, and mlkless team other
words, half-starving, and denying herself
every luXury-until the result began to be
quite perceptible to all her acquaintances.
AS for McDuffy, he gave up all his down
town associates, came home at regular hours,
read books, and drank quart upon quart of
koumiss. You would have thought their
domestic happiness was now increased ten
fold.
1t was not.
Mr.. McDuffy was certainly growing plump
and she was as certainly growing slender.
But there came a change somehow over the
home. John lost much of his old sprightliness
activity, and ceased to have any disposition
to entertain his wife. He fell into the habit
of going to sleep on the sofa after supper,
and when friends called to spend the evening
he would quietly steal away to his room and
leave his wife to entertain them. He never
lost his temper, he merely became prosaic,
apathetic, and ''poky."
Mrs. McDuffy's native good nature did not
thrive on Banting. Ia month or so she be-
gan to pine, and, what was worse, to whine.
Things went s'contrary' with her, and the
most good-natured remark that John could
make was Immediately set down as sarcasm"
There was no more going out in the evening |
together. John would take his pipe after
supper and walk around the block aimlessly |
until it was bedtime, and Mrs. McDuffy |
would put on her things and whisk off to q !
church sociable.
She had joined new church, being melted
thereto chiefly by the reasoning of the new
tenant next door, who told her that the new
pastor was a perfect gentleman, and was
building up q splendid society. The new
pastor made pastoral calls, and he and John
was duffer, and he couldn't be bothered
with him. This drew from Mrs. McDuffy
occasional satirical illusions to his lack of
with true refinement, and his nat
lral aversion to society. ''Of course the peo-
pie he would meet at the sociable were not
IF the stamp he had been in the habit of as
'ociatiDg with doaon to,on," and so on.
''Spats" were now of frequent occurrence
n the family. No matter what was the
'ubject-the planting of geranium in the
back yard, the hanging of a picture in the
oarlOr, the shifting of bureau from one
corner to another-it was sure to engender
harp dispute and end in mutual huff.
Things were coming to sorry pass, and
,oor John saw with dull kind of pain that