Smyrna times., 1876-05-03
A Horror Of the Springtide.

The annual ceremony of taking up whip
ping and putting down carpets is upon us.
1t is one of the ills which flesh is heir to
and cannot be avoided. You go home some
pleasant spring day at peacewith the world,
and find the baby with clean face, and |
get your favorite pudding for dinner. Then
your wife tells you how much younger you
are looking, and says she really hopes she
can turn that walking dress she wore last
fall and save the expense of new suit, and
then she asks you if you can't just help her
take up the carpet. Then she gets a saucer
for the tacks and stands and holds it, and
you get the claw and get down on your
knees and begin to help her. You feel
quite economical about the first three tacks,
and take them out carefully and put them
in the saucer, your wife in the meantime
beguiling you with an interesting story
about your neighbor's little boy. When
you come to the tack with a crooked head,
and you get the claw under it, and the
head and leather comes off, as it won't do
to leave the tack in the floor, because it
will tear the carpet when it is again put
down, you go to work and skin your
knuckle, and then you tell your wife to
stop talking about the neighbors boy, and
make up your mind that it does not make
any difference about that tack. So you
begin on the corner where the carpet is
} doubled two or three times, and has been
: nailed down with single nail. You don't
care to save the nail, because you find that
: it is not a good time for the practice of
S economy; but you do feel little hurt when
i both claws break off from the claw, and
s the nail does not move. Then your man
a hood asserts itself, and you arise in your
# might, and throw the carpet claw at the
l. dog. You then get hold of the carpet
II with both hands, the air is fnll Of dust and
d flying tacks, there is fringe of carpet
II yarn all along by the mopboard, the baby
is cries, and then your wife says you ought to bC
d ashamed of yourself; but that carpet come
up. Then you lift one side of the stov,
and your wife tries to get the carpet from
4 under it, but cannot, because you ar
n standing on it, So you try a new hold
le and just after your back breaks the carpe
u is clear. You are not through yet. You
at wife don't tell any more stories, but int
1T mates that the carpet needs whipping
Ii When you hang the tormenting thing o
lie the line the wrong way and have it slide o
a into the mud and get half pint of du:
re and three broken tacks snapped out of tn
nc northwest corner into your mouth by tn
n wind, you make an observation which yo
ly failed to mention while in the hous
Up Then you hunt up a stick and go for tn;
II. carpet. The first blow hides the sun an
3h all the fair face of nature behind clou
10 of DUST and right in the centre of tn;
an cloud, with the wind fair in your face, Il
IFS matter how you stand, you WELD tn;
st cudgel until both hands are blistered, an
le, the milk of human kindness curdles
to your bosom. You can whip the carpet
ed longer or shorter period according to ii
ak size of your mad, as it don't make an
he difference to the carpet, for it is just
no dusty and fuzzy after you have whipped
~ TWO uOulS dS IL Noo NuSll } Ou COHlulcllCS'
n, Then you bundle it up, with one corn,
l." dragging, and stumWe into the house an
have more trouble with the stove, and ia
Gle to find any way of using the carpe
sh stretcher while you stand on the carpe
be and fail to find any place to stand off fro
an the carpet, and you get on your kne
yes again, while your wife holds the sauc
Ne and, with blind confidence, hands "
'ol- broken tacks--tacks with no points
OFT crooked tacks-tacks with no heads-tac
ITS, with no leathers-tacks with the large
ends at the points. Finally the carpet
will down, your wife smiles sweetly, and sa
'ol- she is glad the job is off her mind.