The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-04-15
VARIETY.

II :, billiards that are healthy exercise, - or
is it the act of walking from the table to the bar
throwing the head back and murmurlng - Om-
um-um ?''-DetrOH Free Press.
There is an old question about where Noah was
when his candle went out. But there is new
one which is more interesting: W here VIII beech-
or be when has scandal goes Outz
Max Muller saws: .'Let no one be frightened
at the idea of studying Chinese grammar.
Those who take an interest IN the secret springs
of the laws of thought, will find Chinese gram
mar most instructive, most fascinating"
Nor IN LorE.-Two clerks were together alone
recsntIy. when one suddenly said to the other:
:. Joe. are YOU in loye?" {" No. said Joe, Easti-
lv 8. Then why the deuce don't you clean your
self up?" pettishiy inquired his fellow.
Thore has been secured for the Centennial ex-
hibition section Of the pckct-fence which George
Washington is said to have peeped through whlie
his iufuriated father was trimming CLUB prepar-
atory to mildly deliberately and penslvely asking
Who cut the cherry tree, my son
- How much for that broad-iaced chicken on the
fence P'' inquired an Irshman sf a farmer on STA
ten Island the other day. 50 That's not a chicKeh
ats an owl" replied the farmer " don :. cure care
how ould he is; would like to buy him, says
the Irshman.
ADvrs.-A Brooklyn skeptic who has been
ap1pa vOrinU for some years W Huu lh'A' ."
which he could worship, as the Christian worshllS
n nersouaI God frankly admits that II IS a goou
deal like irving to see through u knot-hole with
glass eye.
Rov,xrtc.-A romantic York girl thought to
Maud Nullerize and - rake the meadow sweet Win
hav'' She stood over n yellow-Jacket nest rs
she swung her little rake. FIRST itons I.
the score eleven feet; distance TO the houee' hAi
a mile time two minutes-best on record
Nor CoNsIsTENTLY-A Vermont doctor says
he cannot consistently pray for his daily bread:
~ :, ,.onId he praying for more sickness. Under
the circumstances, the doctor would prooa9ly 10 III,
III to risk n little prayer and try the effect oil
an offset in the size of hls oiils
Boston family party travelling from church 70
church during the past few weeks 10 aeciue H.,I
SINGING they had better sit under, c2nfr0ntGo the
minister of one of the most fashion aDIe bacA-oaS
obrrehes after service the other afternoon, VII" WIZ
a. W. is the prima donna of your church, MIR
2f'
A., honest old gentleman from Sonoma county
NV came 10 the city to spend the SaobHSc-~ WIZ
friends. was asked by one OF them wha
up his way thought of the Beecher
renIIed that he never tried 1t, as
anything about it; that he and all
burned kerosene
No PIAcE-At a late prayer 81
Louis. one of the brethren directed On 70
81 1ssIeI yybv he wasn't invited to pray. - be
cause reprovingly observed deacon, " TN
amt no place for practical jokes IHat man
the President of a gas company
Nor OxE.-A country editor received the follow
inc. :. Dear sir-I have looked carefully an
r77ia,,Iv over YOUR paper for six months for tn
featb of some individual was acquainted Win
but as yet not a single soul care anything aoou
has dropped of; you vii please TO nave my ii'"i
erased
4 traveller for Battery-strect hrm had just II
- I'm n collection trip and he leaned u
AGAINST the desk in picturesque attitude 70 mar -
bis report g How about sloeum asked 6S bee Il
principal, after several other customers hli ".I
talked over Oh, he's all right, sara u
traveller: he'll pay. lie says he II pay you
. nork.'' Pork{' exclaimed the merchan
!. PORK nothing. This is dry goods house; "h
IN thunder does he mean by saying he IL pay u
in nork ~ Well, don't know" replied Il
unruffled traveller g but he told me he d pay y
in a hogs eye, and guess that means pork.