The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-02-04
FACTS AND FANCIES.

A TRUST company is a concern which
trusts the money of one man in the hands
of another.
1t requires sless philosophy to take
things as they come than il does to part
with them as they go.
'IF there is anything wl..ch illmake
| my mouth water" said an old topper, 81
don't want to see it.
TUE Herald of Health says flesh meat
| tends to make men bold. enteTprisinc,
and courageous, while vegetables render
men peaceful, benevolent and virtuous
Cultivated and superior as the Bos-
| tonians affect to be, they turn out best
to see plays that are full OF fierce emo
tion and strong excitement" They want
something of the " Ha, Ina, Ia, all is lost. F"
in their amusements.
"ILL be down again in few days and
| bring you fathers name and address"
was the thoughtful remark of a youth
the other day, when he dropped in at
marble workers TO select a gravestone
for his paternal relative.
-"No, George" she said in response
to his question, :" it is not true that
string of new belt buckles in a shop win
dow would make any woman lose train
but" she added musingly, sometimes
she might have to run little"
-"Itisasettled principle, your honor"
said an eminent lawyer, F" that causes al
wavs produce effects" "They always
do for the lawyers" responded the judge;
'but Pve sometimes known cause to
deprive client of all his effects"
why should the rich despise the poor?
Why should the poor repineF
A little while, and we shall all
In equal friendship join.
Life at the best is but jest,
But since we're here, with friends so dear,
Wen drive dull care away
Charcoal has been discovered 10 be
cure for burns. By laying piece OF
cold charcoal upon a burn the pain sub
sides Immediately. BY leaving the char
coal on one hour the wound is healed, az
has been demonstrated on several Occa-
sions.
A SIMPLE looking country lad, to
whose lot fell the leading question in the
catechism, "What is your nameY re-
piled: Carrots "Who gave you that
name?" "All the BOYS in the parish,
sir" whiningly replied the red-haired
urchin.
"Charles," said young wife to her
husband, as they sat mt the window
watching the fashiOnables on their way
to church, "when you die and get hold
of the insurance money | intend 10 have
a fur cape and muff just like that lady
has on over there"
The First Baptist church erected in
San Francisco was lately sold for a Chi
nese opium factory. The old Sansom
street church in Philadelphia is now used
as a stable, and the church on Seventh
street, below Arch, from which DIR. Kane
was buried, is converted into comic OPP
era house.
A LADY remarked to a popular divine
that his sermons were a little too long.
''Don't you think sop said she-'just q
little p" "Ah +! dear madam" replied
the divine, 81 am afraid you don't like
the sincere milk of the word" eyes,
do" said she; "but you know the
fashion, nowadays, is condensed milk"
Mr. LINCOLN used to tell a story of a
Winchester confederate, who was 50 over
loved at receiving his pardon that he ex-
claimed: "Thank you, Mr.. President
Thank youl Now Pm pardOned s'pose
I'm as good union man as any of you
emphatically one Of you again. But
didn't Stonewall Jackson give us thunder
in the Valley?
The Rajah of KolapOre, HindoO
Prince of high rank, who died near Flor
ence in 1870 when on a tour IN Europe,
was cremated by Especial permission
in the court of the residence that he bad
hired. The Bombay Gazette lately re-
ported the completion of a handsome
monument which has been erected TO
4I, n lao
1t was in Omaha. A lawyer was ad-
dressing the judge, and the judge was.
eating peanuts and reading novel. The
LAWYER bore it some time, and then an
grily remarked: 8" suppose I'm entitled
TO claim the attention of this court
stWell, sir" retorted the judge, "the
court has long suspected you, and will
do its duty the first chance 1t gets"
She, a girl of seventeen, walked un-
der the naples month ago, and gathered
the golden leaves, and said, go leaves,
you remind me of crushed hopes and
scattered plans" He, her father, found
them in a nail kcg the other day, and
shook them down in the corner OF the
woodshed, and said, " There, that dog
has got just as good bed as any canine
in this town :"
He had made a hearty meal at n res
taurant, and rising up he said to the
cashier: 81 declare, if haven't forgotten
nv wallet" The cashier fired up, and
hurled big words at him for full three
minutes before pausing for breath. When
a chance came, the stranger continued:
90 But have fifty dollars here in my vest
pocket" The cashier couldn't smile to
save him.
A LADY who had just lost her husband
was weeping and lamenting: "Ah,
mother" she CRIED raising her eyes 10
heaven, "I should gladly give half my
life to be eight days older" Why, my
child?' asked her mother. The bereaved
one, regarding affectionately the photo
graph of her dead husband, answered,
" Because, then / should no longer be
grieving over my loss.
In his last illness poor Hood was
reduced TO skeleton. As he noticed
very large mustard poultice which Mrs.
Hood was making for him he exclaimed;
4" Oh, Mary Mary Thatwill be great
deal of mustard to a very little meat!"
Shortly before his death, being visited by
o clergyman, whose features as well az
language were more lugubrious than ~
soling, Hood looked up at him comTas-
afraid your religion doesn't agree with
you r'
A young man in Chicago was recently
found dead in his room, and the snpposi-
tion was that he had committed suicide
by poisoning; but upon analyzing the
contents of his stomach nothing but the
following were found in it: Pickles,
pound cake, lemonade, cold turkey, beer,
fried oysters, cold punch, ham sandwich,
sponge cake, beef tea, mince pies, cham
pagne, lobster, game pie, fruit cake, tea,
chicken salad, whisky, coffee, bologna
sausage, port, cheese, sardines and sherry.
The jury returned a verdict of ''Died
through the visitations of friends"
-" Man is daring and confdent-wo-
man is diffident and unassuming. Man
is great in action--woman in suffering.
Man has a rugged heart-woman a soft
and tender one. Man has science---wo-