Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-27
Amateur Dress-Making.

IT is hard times,' we said, in concert
with everybody else, and our own hands
must put that twenty five yards CT bottle
green poplin into we fable shape. NO
great trick with GodeIs Book and
Demorest pattern, and plenty of pins ana
advice from the neighbors. We drew
the blinds, bOlted the doors and smoothed
out the cloth on the carpet. Amateurs
ALWAYS cut work on the carpet. we had
selected a demi-train underSklrt with a
wide ruffle and narrow one, and shlrr,
and a puff. and a fold, and a cord, and an
upright frilI in knife pleating for garni-
ture, an apron overskirt with rufffe and
a cord and fold and frill around it,
and bows all down the front, and puck
cred pocket clapped on the left side, and
a puff and sash behind trimmed with
folds and shirrs, and straights ana biases,
then cuirass basque lit should be
spelled curious). We gazed at the figure
in the book, and felt willing to be put I'M
der the thumb screws for month if we
could come out like that in the end We
hesitated about the first clip. The bottle
green was six shillings yard, and we
are poor, but crick between the shout
ders and a rush Of blood to the head
warned us that a bent posture is not the
most desirable one for prolonged medita-
ton, SO we called up the motto "nothing
risked, nothing won" ana slashed away
desperately We measured, and pinned,
and planned till the weary sun showed
symptoms OF setting, and the twenty five
yards lay in separate piles on the carpet
and chairs. Two sleeves for one arm, a
strange mistake in front and a lack of
cloth for trimming clouded our April sky.
We basted the waist fer trial, and, except
a slight hitch under the arm, and
wrinkle on the shoulder, and a twist in
the form seams, it was a charming fit.
OF course il would come all right cut by
pattern, and one doesn't expect basted
things to set.
Three weeks, four days and several
passed since the above mentioned. We
have chased down town six times to match
bottle-green poplin, till it approXimates
forty yards we have logged over the road.
Our gait is under paralysis from too much
seWing-machine; our finger tips are worn
off with pinching, and pulling and pleat-
ing; our eyes are sore with gazing at one
color; the house and yard are Uttered
with strings, and scraps of bottle-green
pOplin, and we had wad of bottle green
Rawlings in the hash this morning, and,
after all, we wish you could see that
thing that hangs in the closet yonder, but
you can't We have crowded the bolt in,
and it shall not be drawn for six weeks;
yet, like Eugene Aram's murdered man,
the ghost will not be laid. 1t is after us
continually, with a skirt that pulls for
ward instead of back, the frill dips, the
train folds over, the overskirt draws, the
pocket FUCKERS heartlessly, the front re-
sembles a lap-robe, the sash ends are like
WindoW-shades, and the bows lop like the
ears of greyhound; then the basQue-if
we should die tonight no one in the world
could tell what it was meant for
1t wrinkles from zenith to nadir, and
the minute one lets go the little tab be-
hind it flies around sideways, as if it was
mad. The ruff in the neck interferes
with our ears, and the seam in the
sleeve meanders like the River Raisin,
and stops at last on the back of the hand
We are behind in our house cleaning !;
there's new crow-foot between our eyes /;
our dearest friend has cut Us because we
were : not at home;" we have lost the
thread of the post-trader literature, and
there, for recompense, hangs that bottle
green thing of twists and wrinkles which
shall never drape this human form-never
if we go to the poor-house-unles some
wretch puts us in it after we are dead
Il. C.. T.. IN Detroit Free Press.