The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-03-23
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

What keeps Lent the longest and
best ? Money.
= An author says that one of the uses
of adversely is to bring us out. That is
true, particularly at the knees and elbows.
= John Linger and Joseph Halt, are
to walk match at Savannah. We don't
see how such men can make good time.
If young lady wishes q young
gentleman to kiss her, what papers
should she mention? No Spectator, no
Observer, but as many Times as you
please.
=. When certain woman in town
speaks of her ''late husband you must
not conclude she is widow. Her hus-
band is living, but he never comes home
until midnight.
= The New York Tribune plays with
the feelings Of its readers in this way:
ga large dog was discovered yesterday in
a closet in Twelfth street, which had been
locked in for ninety-three days without
food or water. His iron constitution en-
abled him to feel no evil effects. He
was an andiron dog"
h - An Irishman was brought before a
Justice of the peace on a charge of va
grancy, and was thus questioned: "What
trade are your" "Sure, now, your hon
or. an I'm sailor" "You seafaring
man I question whether you have ever
been to sea in your life" "Shure, now,
an does your honor think I come over
from Ireland in a wagin?"
"A Frenchman roasts coffee, grinds it
to -four, moistens it slightly, mixes it in
twice its weight of powdered white sugar,
and then presses it into tablets. One
of these tablets can be dissolved any
time in hot or cold water, making at once
the very perfection of coffee; and it is
claimed that pound of the berry will
20 much further by this than by any
other preparation of the beverage.
"A capital way of disposing of the
remains of a ham and making an excel
lent dish for breakfast is: Take pound
and half of ham, fat and lean together;
put into mortar and pound it, or pass it
through a sausage-machine; boil a large
slice Of bread in half pint of milk, and
beat it and the ham we'll together; add
an egg we'll beaten up. Pour the whole
into mould, and bake rich brown.
A few years ago, there was exhibited
in England beautiful model of ship,
pronounced by competent judges to be a
perfect specimen of naval architecture
every detail being proportioned and fin
ished with incest exactness. 1t was made
by the imbecile son of gardener, in an
interior county. Up to that time, it is
claimed, he had never seen the sea or
ship, his pattern being printed ship on
an old pocket handkerchief.
"A very distinguished lawyer of
Richmond, Va, who has passed the me-
ridian of life, and has won renown as an
orator and iurist, was addressing a court
recently, and was in the midst of bril-
liant argument when he saw his wife
the idol of his heart-enter the room.
He at once became confused, and conclu-
ded with some abruptness. 1t was the
first time his wife had heard him speak.
Fearful that he would not make deci-
dedly favorable impression upon her, ne
who had triumphantly faced judges, Ju-
ries, legislative assemblages, mass meet
ings, political conventions and the best
of the Merati, succumbed, and before one
WHO in her love for him would have seen
only the gems of his speech, and whose
criticism would have been fullest praise.