, 1876-08-20
NASBY.
He Waits for the Letters Of Tilden
and Hendricks.
And, in So Doing, Becomes a Serious
Burden to Bascom.
Il Conyocation Of Stumpers Receive In.
Structi0ns from an Agent Of the
Great HcfOrmer.
The Harmony that Prevailed Among Them,
and How 1t Was Brought About.

and HoW 1t Was Brought About.
Tnledo Bl0ae.
CoNFEDR1T X ROADS, Wien IS IN TIE STATE
Nv KENTUCKY, Aug. Z, 1S76.- There wuz
wunst dovtor wich he'd bark wich hwood either
physic or puke accordin cz he stript of the tree
up or down.
Like to this doctor is Tilden and Hendrix.
Reed ther letters up and they arc hard money
physic-rcel em down and they arc soft money
vom:ck.
The day got back from the ST. Loois Con-
vcnshun conncnst preparin for astumpin toor
for our gallcnt standard-barers. borrowed an
extra shirt, so that I voud hev ono; 1borrowcda a
Talise to kerry it in when I wuzn't speakin, and
also to give me standin at SIGN hotels, ez the
Committee didn't become responsible for my
board, and Eascom completed my trayein out
fit by contrihutin quart bottle NV tic newest,
to be kcrried in tho yafise to be ycosed in iocali
ties where the nccessarics Nv life wuz hard to
como at.
Ez coodent 90 out instructin NV the people
till knuwcd wat n1y candidates blecycd in,
decided to wait till got their letters nv accept
ance. Did that Iikhcr stay in the ya1isc? Not
any: 1t WIZ all gone the fnst day, and went
mornin.
"Fil it up, G. W. scd l. ~ cant 60 till
hev seen them letters"
When will they come?" askt he.
Is To-day or Tomorrow" scd l.
"Yoo shood hev kept wat 700 he'd TIL the let
ters come, said he
''Bascom,', wuz the response, "ikker like
yoors cannot be kept"
And then sccin trouble ahead, continyood:
tsPromisc NE that 700 will keep this bottle
filled till them letters come. 1t will be but
little while, and remember, Bascom, 700 got the
500 thnt Tildcn, the Reformer, paid for my
vote at st. l4oois.
II promisc!" he groancd.
Sand, likewise, until l heV read EN- and un-
dcrstood en-, SD that l shel not go out and spout
false DiHloerisy.''
II promisc!'' he groancd aein.
Day after day passed but no letters came. But
promptly every n.oFnin I WIZ at Bascom,s with
that bottle, which lie groaninly filed. On the
thirticth day lie rctoosed pint blank"
aG. W. scd !, stcrnly, "remcmber yoor
promise I may be called any mint. It wuz
the foolish virgins wat he'd no lie in ther lamps.
am no foolish virgin, Fill up the lamp for
may be called to-nitc.n
And he flied it. beeoz he he'd promised.
But every mornin he wood lift up his voice cz
come in, and howl, "Grashus hcycns! amt
them letters never comm to relieve me uv this
incubus?"
At last one mornin the letters come, in the
Louisville papers, and Bascom come over to me
happy, ez though great wait he'd been lifted
II fill the bottle for the last time" sed he
gaily, ''for 10! here be the letters.'
took the papers and red the letters, and the
next morning was promptly at biz bur with the
bottle.
'.Fill it!' remarlt carnly.
1tNot any," sed he. "Yoo heV the letters"
'sGcorge Washington B." | replied, !" yoor
promise wuz to keep this bottle filled not only
til ThtI red the letters, But TILL UNDERSTOOD
EN- I hev bin npplyin my inteIIek to cn for ten
hours, and ef know from them letters whether
] am to talk Hard money or Soft, lmmcjite Re-
or Perpctooal Postponement, hope
never to be Postnaster.'
Wat did the pcrtlius wretch dos He telegraph
ed that very day to both Tildcn and Hendrix, ez
folers:
shsl SssSy On the stamp advocate mo4tsnl Hard
cave an iunosent Dimocrat from roon
And the anscrs come prompt:
FROM T1LDEy.
Hard money ny course, but soften 1t good deal
in the West. Strike boldly. howsver, for Reform,
T1LDES.
FROM HENDRIX.
Soft money, NV course, but harden 1t good deal
in the East Strike boldly, however for Reform
HESnE1x.
And SO, hevin my instrukshens, I he'd to 70.
she], however: before spee1, get instrulsshcns
from John Morrisscy and Fernandy Wood, ez to (
the best methods Nv bringin about Reform, and |
Ut fgltiu corrupshen in governmental matters. |
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY,
(Wich wants to be Postmaster.)
Toledo Rtade.
CosFEnRrr Z ROADS, W1cH Is IN THE STATE
" KENTUCKY, Aug. II, 1876.-Thc men Nv
nfloocnce aud them ez hez bin appinted to
stump tlc State Of Injcany for the great re-
.ormcr Tiiden, and the inanshcl genius nv the
9th sentry, Hendrix, met at the call Nv the |
Chairman Nv the Ccntrcl Community, in Inje-
laplis, yesterday, to be instructed in their doo
les by the Grand Organizer, wich is maxim
oor Nv the difTrcnt States don nv that
One Nv the speakers remarked that it wuz ez
lot ez Ill, and rcbookcd him to-wunst~
ssDon't spcck disrespcctfully nv that place."
ed 1; "thc heft wv our trends are there Never
Ieyin scratched the Dimocr:tic ticket, bIecyc
Good be elcctid to Congris from that decstrik
myself"
The Grand Organizer got to bizncss at wunst.
Ic took the Dimocratic platform and explained
t to the speakers SO that thcr shoo1 be yoonan-
nifty in tlicir talk, and so that they slloolent
lash in different parts the State, hut present
yooniforna front to the enemy. He got to the
Evil Service plank, and be remarked:
"Gentlcnen, on this pint yoo must dwell
7ith great earnestncss, and at much length.
lake no mistakes in this. Insist that, ct Tilden
MI Hendrix IS elected, no nlhn SncI De hlSteu
mt uy otliis becoz w his politkle vews; that
10 man shell be appnted to ottis becoz uv ser
iscs to party; and that titnis, honcsty and sch,
;ich were Jcffcrsonyun tests, shel govern the
istribooshcn Nv patronage. Remember this |
nd make no mistakes about it. This must be
welt upon"
Immcjitly every one Nv the stnmpcrs rose
Z one man to his feet, and demanded to be
eerd. They come up in solid platoons, and. ez
glanced along that line Nv shiniu noses, WIZ
cInindcd uy fireworks.
"This is all very WE'LL" said one, shut I
xpectid that wuz to be Collector nv the
eestrik in the event Nv the elecshen Nv the
rate Reformcr."
II will hcv the Postoffis in my town, or not
word will how'll" shreked another.
Aud erery blcssid one Nv EN- insistld that he'd
CT place, or reform mite 60 to blazcs.
The Grand Organizer rose, caInly, selected !
ook from out Wv dozen or more he he'd, and
ldrcsscd hisself to the drst man who raised
indy.
- Yoor name is-n
"Simpkins."
+" Yoor county1n
"Poscy,'
"You are down for Collector, see. Uy
,urse 500 will hev it,"
* And what is fixed for mel" demanded the
,cond.
saYoo are to hev the Postofls in your town.
nd before We go any further We will settle