Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1876-02-17

ONLY EWoADAYs DIFFERENCE.-On one
of Hon. A. H. Stephens cousins, son of the
old almanac maker, the following story is
told:
One day the meal of the Grier household
ran short and the son put the bride on the
old mare, blanket on her back. to keep the
horse hairs out of the meal, and with no sad.
die, started for mill. A stranger overlook
him on the way and q little conversation made
them acquainted. The following dialogue
then took place:
Stranger: "Then you are son of Mr..
Grier, the great almanac calculator ??
Young Grier (modestly) :"Yes sir"
Stranger: "And do you ever attempt to
make calculations of the weather as your
father does?"
Young Grier: Sometimes I do, sir"
Stranger: "Reallyp' And may l ask how
do your calculations and your fathers agree ?"'
Young Grier: "We are never more than
two days different, think"
Stranger: THAT is astonishing. And can
you account for such remarkable agreement?'
Young Grier: Perhaps 80. You see father
always knows the day before it will rain"
Stranger: "Precisel VI see."
OuuR auu always huOW tuO
day after it has rsined."
The stranger cast an inquiring look at the
calm face of the youth on the meal bag, and
then remembered the Importance of hasten
ing on his way.
FORCE OF HABrr.-A worthy Scotch cler-
gyman of fifty years ago, had long failed in
an attempt to give up snaff-taking, and at
alol ht,f
was miserable all the week after. When
Sunday came round, he found be was getting
on very languidly, and, to make the thing
worse, an elder, sitting Immediately under
the eye of the minister, produced his "box,"
tapped it on the lid, and with the utmost
gravity took comfortable pinch. The min.
lister could stand this no longer. He stopped
abruptly in his Sermon, and said, "John,
shame on you sir! How dare you do that ?"
The elder looked up in amazement. The
preacher continued-"Don't you remember
what I said to you last Sabbath ?" But the
elder could not yet fathom what he had done
to cause offence The minister's passion for
snuff had, in the interim, grown to such inten-
sity that it was case of life and death-he
could restrain it no longer ;and so addressing
the elder, he said, 81 will not polute my lips
by mentioning what you did, but will show
you what it was hand me up that box. He
gave it number of taps on the lid, and went
through the other forms of snuff.taking in i'm
itation of what he had observed the elder do,
saying, as be went on, "that is what you did
sir, and, what is more, you"-taking q
pinch-"did that too"
HARD TO SELL.-A good story, at the ex-
pense of Representative Lamar, is going
around Congressional circles. When he was
returning home at the close Of the session of
Congress in 1860, news boy on the Memphis
and Charleston Rail Road insisted that he
should purchase book. Annoyed by this
pertinacity, and anxious to be rid of him, Mr..
Lamar said to him, with a wave of his hand,
20, pshaw don't bother me so; I wrote the
book" Quick as thought the little fellow
answered "Ah! now I know. That's what
makes it so hard to SELL"
Poor REwARD.-Ye Yesterday an auburn.
haired lad Of ten summers, living on Beach
Street, got down big silver castor, during
his mothers temporary absence, and, as he
rolled it back and forth across the kitchen, he
sang, dearest mother, thou hast left US"
He hadn't been playing a great while before
she came in, and what happened may be
judged from the expression he used as he sat
down in the weeds behind the wood-shed, viz. /:
I'll tear her Sunday bonnet up to pay for
that"
p@ A clergyman Of a country village church
desired to give notice that there would be no
service in the afternoon, as he was going to
oficiate for another clergyman. The clerk,
as soon as the sermon was finished, rose up
with all due solemnity, and cried out: g! am
requested to give notice that there will be no
service this afternoon, as Mr.. L. is going
fishing with another clergyman"