The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-02-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,


When . Boston bank busts they. say
IT'S impaired"
~., Wasting sweetness: putting your arm
about q pretty woman.
The New York ocean steamers last
year carried 254 200 passengers and 8, $685..
600 tons of freight.
-Eighty.three thousand Americans are
miners. They might form Z strong coal
-ition.-Bost0n Post. - -
The lead-mining interests in Du
buque are looking up-new leads being
discovered and old ones yielding more
bountifully. = 49,
I'm Vermont there are 10000 more
women than men. One Of them met a
bear in the Memphremagogw woods the other
day. The bear 1t was that died.
Now is the time to lay in your sau-
sages. Well educated links that set and
bark for q cracker are now selling for
eighteen cents per pound.-W httehall
Times.
"A steamer which lately arrived at
San Francisco from Yokohama brought
the materials for Japanese temple and
the men toput it up in the Centennial Elk.
hibition grounds.
The boys OF Michigan are figger-
ing" on how long it will be before those
California salmon, lately planted in the
streams and lakes Of the State, will begin
to hanker after angle-worms.
"A returned Australian found the baby
he had left at home q miss of five sum-
mers. One day he offended her, and she
fretfully exclaimed: II wish you had
never married into the family"
"A bachelor, returning from ball in
crowded coach, declared that he had not
the slightest objection to "rings on his
fingers" buthe had the most unequivocal
aversion to bellies on his toes"
Grant gets up at six o'clock .in the
morning. When Mrs. Grant says: Hiss,
get up now and start the fire and put on
the tea-kettle," he has found from long
experience that to delay is dangerous.
Now pick almanacs. They are dead
ripe, and are worth about two and a half
uine unless branded "1S76" Ask your
druggist for that kind and take no other.
IL Ion't know anything more tryin'
to the temper" says old Uncle Joe Steb-
bins, than for q man to wind up a clock
every day for twenty years and then find
out that the pesky thing is an eight-day
consarn."
Mrs Smithers, Of Fulton, is old-fash-
toned, and calls rather "ruther," and
neither "nuther," but you eat piece of
her mlnce-pie once and you'll never stick
up your nose at her again.-Fult0n IN.
~ Times.
MIR. Kruger, Of Cape Colony, was de-
as drunken Hottentot because,
during game of fOrfeits at friends
house, he refused to kiss a pretty girl.
Kruger sued Schalkwyk for damages to
NO Chinese bank has failed in 500
years. When a Pekin bank fails they
show some consideration for the feelings
of the President. They just quietly re.
move his outer cuticle previous to extin.
gushing the vital spark
When a Missouri engineer ditched
his train he family asked: Did it kill
anyone who parted his hair in the
middle?" They answered that three such
were lying dead. "Then l die happy"
he sighed, and was soon no more.
AN Indiana railroad company has no.
tilted people accustomed to walking on
the track that hereaster they will be re-
garded as trespassers. The deaf men in
that vicinity say that that railroad CON-
pany is getting meaner and meaner every
day Of its life.
Two barrels of whisky were found by
party of Indians on the coast of Oregon
recently. The Portland Orsgonion says
the Indians refused to drink any of it.
Who now will have the heart to say that
the red man is yielding to the refining in
fuences of civilization?
1.-THE Leap Year Necktie,' for gen.
tlemen," says an exchange, "has spring
which, being touched, moves thickness
of silk aside and shows a disc inscribed
No" The ladies will not he discour-
aged by any such refusal as that, which
only comes from the throat.
AN Indiana father, aged ninety, boxed
the ears of his son, q youth of sixty, the
other day, for some misdemeanor. That
father believes in the teaching of Solomon
-"Spare the rod and spoil the child"
and intends to bring his son up in the
way he should 60 when he becomes a
man.
-" March Of Refinement" 1S76--Brown
the bill of fare, waiter. . Head Water:
Beg pardon, sir?'' Broom: "The bill
of fare" Head Waiter: 1.-THE what,
sir: Oh!-ah!-yes!-(to subordinate):
Chawles, bring his-this-gentleman
the MEMOIR
Recently, at Petroleum Center, Pa, a
$500 barrel tank, in which $500 barrels
Of oil we're placed five years ago, was
emptied of its contents, after a rest since
1870. Thirty-seven hundred barrels of
me1ehantable crude was obtained, show.
ing That 1900 barrels had been lost by
evaporation, sediment and other causes, q
decline Of nearly % per cent.
-" Have you mailed that letter gave
you yesterday morning, my dear?" said
Mrs. Younghusband, last evening, as
she handed her mate his cup of tea.
"Well, no. said Mr.. Younghusband.
&C. can't say that have mailed it yet, but
I've made all the preliminary arrange
ments." He was made to surrender up
the letter forthwith, and five minutes later
Bridget completed the arrangements
by dropping it into the post-box on the
corner.
The National Museum of Bucharest
has been robbed of its principal treasure,
the famous golden hen and chickens.
The group-which was of pure gold,
profusely adorned with precious stones,
and weighed thirty-four pounds-was of
ancient workmanship, and was dug up
some years ago at Petrosa. The robbers
also carried away the massive golden
amphora and pedestal which came from
Petrosa. A portion of the broken head
of the golden hen was found in the snow,
outside the Museum building.
A GENTLEMAN called into our office
Tuesday evening and left pair of gloves
on our table. The gloves are not worth
anything to us, and not worth much to