National Republican., 1876-12-13
Table Effqaette.

We all have our various views IS to what 1t Is
that constitutes fit and becoming behavior at the
table. Perhaps none have quite the whole body
Of the law at their command; but everybody has
little manual Of the chief points, and In that
life where there Is any material attention paid to
comfort, the greater part of the people know
enough to cause them to eat with their forks, to
keep their arms of the cloth, not to lie sidewise
on the table, to use their spoon right side up, 10
butter their bread on the plate instead of in the
air. to put their food into their mouths In single
morsel instead of in disappearing length like
conjurer's ribbon, to forbear the use of tooth
picks, to drink their tea from their cups to keep
the plate the hostess sends them-these and other
similar small observances everybody knows and
practices. Yet further refnements, moreover,
are in the possession Of others; the knowledge of
how much or how little 1t Is proper to press q
dish; the manner Of speaking to q servant;
the necessity, where there are servants, of
letting every dish absolutely alone, and
keeping ones fingers of Of so much as q salt
cellar. But there are other points Of behavior at
table quite as valuable as these mere points Of
etiquette; for etiquette is after ALL but the result
of convention Of opinions. of course cleanlt
ness and the common decencies of Life one might
suppose would be preserved by any short Of saw
ages; nor would we much expect to see at any
semi,ovili.sd table anything like like greedy over.
there are many obseryances which, although tri-
fling in themselves, are Indicative of character,
those about US. Thus we have heard people who
thought well Of themselves, at o table where,
owing to unfortunate circumstances, 1t was i'm
possible to have other than plated silver, enter
into a conversation upon plated ware and the vul-
garity of its use; and we remember having heard
was entirely in ths Vocativs declare as she spped
her tea from cup of stone-ware, that 1t made no
difference to her what kind of tea she drank so
long as she drank 1t from china. Of course that
may be forgetfulness and is just as likely to hap
pen in the parlor apropos Of the horse-hair furnf-
ture; but 1t is certainly want of tact, and want
of tact is about as sure as any agency to bring
about further breach Of good manners.
Another form ofjust this want of tact Is to be
dishes. ~ am eItravagantIy fond of it," says
some one, concerning delicaey quite obiivious
the fact that the supply is not unlimited; and
the very necessities OF hospitality, the delIcaey
passed and pressed again and again. something
shsn the 56s
any simple or frugal table. THANK you, will
take the other; never eat this when / can get
peatedly, and perhaps sometimes made without
ever thinking what II entailed upon the provider,
to whom "this" may be very convenient and
dish because one is not fond of IT,, Of course pre-
vents any free use Of that dish, unless something
lite. And to tell an anecdote Illustrating ones
dislike Of something else Is equally Objectionable
There Is almost always on the tables that are not
can satisfy such hunger as sits down at those
tables, and to decline In the manner mentioned,
or to state inconyenient preferences, Is some
thing that can not help making several
able. Truly good manners would always take
the undesred portion upon the plate, If only to
trie with It. as not to hurt the feelings of those
providing it; and If the providing party were
equally good.mannered, i would be observed that
would be substituted, the dish would fail to be
repeated For, on the other hand, the good man
ners on that side are Just as carefully to be re-
the same object is again presented on other days,
IL seasoning continues to be used, or fiavortng
that is not agreeable then the canons are violated
quite as badly by the hosts. Yet IT. after stating
starved to 1t is to take his portion and send
back his plate for q second one, Il would seem as
II the dislike too slight to justify its state
ment at ALL and the person stating It were utterly
his objection.
But. perhaps, the greatest indeeorum of all Is
voluntary Instruction administered as to the be-
coming oouduct Of host or hostess by any one Sit
or "Why do you do that 2" or, again, ~ have been
in the habit Of seeing this at such and such dis
tingpished place, /" implying superiority on the
questioner's side and an ignorance on the other
TONER, might become unbearable. OF course,
among families where one Individual may have
happened TO receive greater advantages and op-
portunities Of seeing than the others, this may be
not only all very WELL but very acceptable and
desirable; but ss . usual thing, people like to do
they choose at their own tables, and after some
experience Of the sort Will be tolerably sure TO
alloy others the same privilege It is after an,
Rule obeyed to the letter Is the only safe standard
of behavior, for there neither servant nor host
wants any Of your interference in his duties, and
the rest remains with yourself