The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-04-14
PUNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Pick out the next bank to be cracked.
It's much safer to rob bank of half
million than to grab coat from in front
of clothing store.-Detroit Free Press.
SCIENCE is good piece of furniture
for man to have in an upper chamber,
provided he has common sense on the
ground foor.-Dr. Holmes.
SAYS q European writer: The very
power and pride, the very roison d'etre
of music is that it expresses that which
words are powerless to express, which
can be expressed in no other way"
TAKING a donkey towards his ordina-
ry place of residence is very different
thing and q feat much more easily ac-
complished than taking him from it.
It requires good deal Of foresight and
presence of mind in the one case to an
ticipate the numerous flights of his dis
cursive imagination, whereas in the
other all you have to do is to hold on
and place blind confidence in the ami
NAL.
A RURAL matron visited one of the
dry-goods stores at Howard City, Kan
sas, the other day and made careful
examination of some infants ward
robes, with the evident intention of pur-
chasing. One of the clerks, in order to
assist her in the selection, asked her
whether the babe was a boy or girl,
to which she innocently replied: 81
CAM tell for few days yet" The clerk
subsided, while the old lady continued
to price the different articles.
THEY tell this history of a Maine
greenhorn, who recently made q visit
to the Hub: Seeing hotel sign, he en-
tered and impaired the price Of lodging.
" One dollar" J" said the obliging clerk,
handing him pen and pointing to the
register. "What am to do with this
here pen?" said the rustic. "Why, put
your name on the book, - said the clerk,
s'and / will assign you room at once"
ssNot as you knows on, :" said the young
man from Maine, ssyou don't catch me.
My father signed his name onct onto
book, sich as those ERE patent-right
fellows carry round-not nigh SO big as
that and he had to pay 1000. No,
OH OVS i AVu Poy NY OsAV = AOAA
sign no note, you bet!"
A YOUNG man who had looked on the
cocktail when it was red, and was maxi
ing grapevine pattern on the side
walk yesterday evening with his beot-
heels on his winding way home, met 2
very pretty young woman. Being
smitten by her appearance, he execut-
ed very respectful wink at her by pull
ing down his left eyelid with his finger
and thumb, and had just said "My-
hic-dear-" when he walked against
a lamp-post, and in second was knock
ed on his back and received free tick
ct to private exhibition of the occulta-
ton of the Pleiades and other astro-
nomical phenomena. Throwing up his
hands, he remarked: ssDon't hit me
again-I hicpologize-didn't know she
wash your your wife-thoush wash
shisr frien' o'mine- -thash all ri" Thus
conscience doth make towards Of us
an.-C Chicago Tribune.
He walked up Cass Avenue with his
pants crowded over his boot-tops and
his white overcoat Topping against his
heels at every step. Where Clifford
Street stops is . triangular square.
Where the square stops is an old shed,
and on this shed is big poster reading:
!" Frank Mayo's Davy Crocket." He
saw the poster and he waded across the
street, read the words, and said: "H
it don't cost too much I'll see that ami
NAL" He walked around the shed two
or three times to find q door, and failing
in this he applied his eye to . crevice
and took q long look. The shed was
empty. When he discovered this fact
he stepped back, gave the side Of the
building heavy kick and exclaimed:
Is There's more durn fooling around
and lying in this town than horse
could draw!''-Detro3 Free Press.
HOW PITTSBURGH GOT HER n.
An EngIishman MOuntod his barb,
Then aew he away like thewynd;
And he dropped m 81 here,
Aul I.nd rS~aA n khnuo