The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-12-14

Because" said Mrs. Man, setting
herself into an additional article of raj
ment with awful deliberation, "nobody
put mine out for me- A fair field and no
favors, my dear"
Mr.. Man plunged into his shirt like
bull at red flag.
P' he shouted, in malicious tri-
umph. " No button on the neckp
Because" said Mrs. Man, sweetly at-
ter deliberate stare at the fidgeting, i'm
patient man, during which she buttoned
her dress and put eleven pins where they
would do the most good, "because
you have got the shirt on wrong side
out"
When Mr.. Man slid out of that shirt
he began to sweat. He dropped the
shirt three times before he got it on,
and while it was over his head he heard
the clock strike ten. When his head
came through he saw Mrs. Man coaxing
the ends and bows of her necktie.
"Where's my shirt studs ?" he cried.
Mrs. Man went into another room,
and presently returned with the gloves
and hat, and saw Mr.. Man emptying all
the boxes he could find in and about
the bureau. Then she said:
In the shirt you took off,"
Mrs. Man put on her gloves, while Mr..
Man hunted up and down the room for
his cuff-buttons.
Eleanor" he snarled, at last, az
believe you know where those buttons
are."
81 haven't seen them," said the lady,
settling her hat; " didn't you lay them
down on the window-sill in the sitting
room last night?'
Mr.. Man remembered, and he went
down stairs on run. He stepped on one
of his boots, and was Immediately
landed in the hall at the bottom of the
stairs with neatness and dispatch, at
tended in the transmission with more
bumps than he could count with
Webb's adder, and landed with bang
like the He'll Gate explosion.
care you ready, Algernon2" asked
the wife of his family, sweetly leaning
over the banisters.
The unhappy man groaned.
"Can't you throw me down the other
bootP he asked.
Mrs. Man pityingly kicked it to him.
"My valise ?" he inquired, as he tug
ged away at the boot.
cup in your dressing room," she an
swered.
"PackedT"
81 do not know-unless you packed it
yourself-probably not" she replied, with
her hand on the. door-knob; 81 had
barely time to pack my own"
She was passing out of the gate, when
the door opened, and he shouted:
Where, in the name of goodness, did
you put my vest? 1t has all my money
in itW
"You threw it on the hat-rack," she
called back. "Good-bye, dear"
"Eleanor! Eleanor! Eleanor Man!
Did you wear off my coat?'
She paused and turned, after signaling
the street car to stop, and cried:
"You threw it on the silver closet"
And the street car ingulfed her grace
full figure, and she was seen no more.
But the neighbors say that they heard
Mr.. Man charging up and down the
house, rushing out at the front door
every now and then, and shrieking up
the deserted streets after the unconscious
Mrs. Man to know where his hat was, and
where she put the valise key, and if he
had any clean socks and undershirts,
and that there wasn't a linen collar in
the house. And when he went away at last
he left the kitchen door, side door, and
front door, all the downstairs windows,
and the front gate wide open. And the
loungers around the depot that day
were somewhat amused, just as the train
was pulling out of sight down in the
yards, to see flushed, perspiring man,
with his hat on sideways, his vest but.
toned two buttons too high, his cuffs
unbuttoned, and necktie flying, and his
grip-sack Tapping open and shut like a
demented shutter on March night, and
a door-key in his hand, dash wildly
across the platform and halt in the mid
die of the track, glaring in detected, i'm
potent, wrathful modification at the de
parting train, and shaking his trembling
fstat pretty woman, who was throwing
kisses at him from the rear platform o.
the last car.