The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-08-01
Sevse and dMopl,s;eI,,sse'.' ;I ! !

SerSe and u 1uSe'tSe.
"He's polished gentleman" said
she, gazing fondly at the bald head
which showeth her handiwork. s;.l7
The individual who called tight boots
comfortable defended his position by
saying they made q man forget all his
other miseries.
"Did any OF you ever see an elephants
skin p inquired teacher Of an infant
class eyes, sir" "Where y" son an
elephant" i
A New York man has fch.istened his
daughter Glycerine. He says it will be
easy to prefix Nitro, if her temper re-
sembles her mothers. ''.' -
, Boarder-"fIas the red haired girl
gone away ?" Landlady: "Yes, sir."-
Boarder :g"I thought SO. I found "a
black hair in the butter, to-day" ana
All Irishman having been told tina,
the price of bread had been lowered, ex.
claimed, "That is the first time | ever
.rejoiced at the fall Of my best friend =
mike, and is it yerself that can be
atther tellin' me how they make ice
crane ?" 'sIn truth can. Don't they
bake them in cowli ovens, to be sure p
A Camden man lugged a butcher.knift
around for two hours, offering to Kill
any one who said be wasn't Moses, o.
Biblical fame. Every one said he look
ed just like Moses.
A sensible writer advises those who
would enjoy good eating to keep good
natured, for, says he, can angry mar
cannot tell whether he is eating boiled
cabbage or stewed. umbrellas. so4a
A Yankee, describing, an opponen'
whose person was extremely thin, says
81 will tell you what, sir-that man dom
amount to a sum in arithmetic; cast hin
upr and there's nothing to carry %"
Irate Landlady warmly "Really
sir this accounts been a running sc
long" Impecunious Lodger fcoolly y
"Running, has ita Then. perhaps, j
would be as well to let it rest bit .,a. !"
An editor, quoting DR.. Halls advic'
to "eat regularly, and not over three
times day, and nothing between meals,
iadds, "Tramps will do well to cut thi'
out and put it in their bank-books." 81
A, loving British wife's postscript to /.
letter addressed to her husband in New
York "Dear William, l have perusee
the police reports and morgue return!
every day, hoping to see your name"
| A bfighted being, whose nose should
serve as a beacon Of warming to th'
youth of our land, says the ladies' dres
lses this year are laboripg under a9ivio
lent attack OF delirinm trimmings.
Norristoo on Herald. staa as s.,'ls'-'
A young lady viewing Dom Pedro il
St Louis, the other day, remarked, a
she fixed her eyes on the carriage, 81
isn't exactly immortality to see an EN-
lperor, Of course, but it's glimpse, a
least, Of King Dom come" a'.a
During the recent tornado a couple o
Pennsylvania boys were up in q cherr,
tree stealing cherries. The tornado car
ried off the cherry tree, and neither tn
boys nor the tree have been seen since
Moral: Never tell lie.
A citizen Of Dakota took a Turkisl
bath in Omaha a few days ago, and 1ie,
! within an hour. The verdict of the jur,
was: "He hadn't ought to. have got 8,
much Of the mud; off Of him at on
time Detroit Free Press. 49,.
/ sYou must have lived here a lon;
time" said travelling Englishman 1
an Oregon pioneer- s'Yes, cir. have
Do you see that mountain 2 Well, whe
came here that m ountain was q hol
in the ground" as@e,ss ~ 4
Sergeant Bates proposes to make i
water voyage OF 10000 miles long Th
Detroit Free Press offers him $500 t
make the fret mile OF it under wateI
and the Sergeant is constructing the net
essary apparatus. % ~ isess:iI' e
4 HYou. must cultivate decision of chal
acter, and learn, to say s'No," said fl
ther to his son. Soon afterward, whe
the father told the son to chop woot
i the boy said s'Np" with an emphasi
that showed remembrance of the LEI
4 son.
A minister travelling through tn
West some years ago asked an old lad
on whom be called what she thought {
the doctrine of total deprayity. "Oh,
she replied. II think it is good dot
trine, if the people would only act U
to it," ,.t.--.4..,
/ A colored preacher, in translating t
his hearers the sentence, "The harve'
is over, the season: is ended, and th
soul is not saved,''' put it, "De corn hs
been cribbed, dere amt any more ,worl
and de debbil is still foolin' wild dis con
munity.'"'. ezs ay}ossie9o. - .as4a
Al classical error.-The late lamente
Lempriereitells us that 10 was change
into heifer; but we have lately gleane
from doctors prescription the follo'
( ing piece of information respecting Il
! end of that young person; "Io-dide
potassium" s'z
"We 60 to press at two instead
four to-day said. a Tennessee pape
sin order to attend to some business
importance" At precisely FIVE minut
before four, two high-toned looking m,
with shotguns called, and wanted
know where the editor was: asz sgg
a The cavalry branch, of the army
4 Greece numbers eleven men. nine he
ses, one old omnibus from New Yor
D and blackboard for the Colonel. T
horses are now being shod and the ca
r airy placed on war footing. Detrt
h Free Press, ee..,s= a9ay . srr
b The intelligent druggist in Coho,
y N Y, having given woman hellehe
d instead of rhubarb, from which 8
r nearly died, she is now giving him {
j irst syllable of the name of the pois
a liu suit for damages.-Catskiu { N. ]
}. Recorder. 80 .---,.
al They were talking of q death, VIII
!. one man asked: What were his |.
e words p "He didn't say anything
Is was the reply. .That's just like hin
e said the first man, with an approvi
mod "There was no gas about him.