The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-06-09
The New Boy.

Union SCHOOLS the other morning, ana arrlv-
ing ahead of time, he prevented any feelings
of loneliness from seizing him by licking
three boys and riding the gate off its hinges
He went in with the crowd when the bell
rang, and finding no empty seat, he perched
himself on the woodbox. When the chill
dren repeated the ''Lord's prayer" in concert
the new boy kept time with his heel, and
when they came to sing he argued that vari-
ETY. is the spice Of song and attempted to
sing one of his own--one about a gentleman
named Dan Tucker, who dreamed that he
was dead, and so-lorth. The teacher warned
him to keep still, and he replied that he
wouldn't come to that school if his musical
qualifications were to be overlooked. When
school finally opened the teacher secured
his name and began asking him questions
in order to find out how he should be grad
ed.
"Can you spel?" she asked.
"What kind of spelling?" he cautiously
replied.
Spell house, please"
Crane or brick house ?" he asked.
"Any kind of a house."
"Witl, mortgage on it?"
"You may spell man, if you WILL" she
said, giving a severe look
"Man?"
"Yes."
81 don't care much about spelling man
this morning, but will this afternoon. I've
spelt it with my eyes shut.
"Do you know your alphabet" she asked,
changing the subject.
"Never had any," was the prompt reply.
"Do you know anything about reading?"
81 read likc-lghtning! !" he answered.
"Let me hear you read"
'Right out loud?"
eyes"
"Im afraid it will disturb the children"
he whispered
"Go on, let me hear you read"
He looked carefully at the page, scowled
his brow and read:
"If / were Il lame boy and didn't get any
peanuts in my stockings Christmas, dun my
eyes but wouldn't I make things jump
around that house next morningw
He handed the book back and the teacher
asked:
Richard, how many are three and
three? ?"
"rhree and three of what?" he inquired.
Anything"
cts good deal according to what it is,"
he replied, as he settled back. II know that
three and three cats don't make a dog"
"Did you ever study geography, Rich
ard ?"
Eyes, ma'am.
"What is geography"
"It's book"
as the world round or flat ?"
"Hills and hollers," he replied.
"Richard, can you write ?"
"Write what ?"
'Can you write your name?'
81 could, s'pose; but Iye got my name
without writing it."
"Can you write a letter?'
"Who .o?'
"ro any one"
ayes, could, if had money to pay the
postage"
swell, Richard" she said in despair
you'll have to go into the lower room if yol
want to come to school here"
"Pd ruther stay here"
"But you can't"
"Tll bet you this knife agin ten cents
cam
She took him by the arm to remove him
but he laid his hand on her shoulder an
said in warning voice:
"Dont get me mad now, or Pll,let myseI
loose"
She called the principal down, and as h
approached the boy he demanded:
"Boy, what are you doing here?"
Getting eddicashunw replied Richard,
"You go right down stairs now % contir
ued the principal.
"Well, don't sass me, for | was never hei
; before" replied Richard, slowly moving h
legs as if he meant to get down.
: The principal took him by the collar an
, jerked him around, got kicked on the shi
and bitten on the wrist, and finally lande
f the young student on the walk
"Now 90 home !" he shouted, as he trie
to recover his breath.
Gam eddicated?" inquired Richard
, "You seem to be-"
\ "Gimme a diplomy them
"You clear out or Pll have you arrested.
"IIain't l scholar in this school II
more? ?"
"No, sir"
"Who owns this school house," demande
the boy.
'No matter; clear out"
"Will you come out into the yard whel
you cant hang to anything" asked ii
, boy.
: "Begone, | say"
"Dont draw no derringer on me "warne
the boy as he backed off, "nor don't thin
you can scare me with any of your bowl,
knives"
4 The principal walked in and shut Il
door, and after the new boy had stoC
Q there long enough to show that he WASH
afraid he turned and walked off, growing
himself:
p "Pll get the foreman of No, 6 to pour
that fellow afore he's week older"
J.
small boy, with very sharp nos
It halted before bakers window the 9th
II day, and took long look at the cakes,
: He finally entered, and leaning over t
y counter, remarked
"If you was boy, you know, and was
man and kept this shop, do you know VIII
:, I'd do ?"
!" The baker confessed his ignorance.
l. "Well, if you was a boy, you know, you
ii be hungry, and if you came into my she
r you know, I'd hand you out cake for not
Y, ing, you know, and when you got to be
man you'd buy all you could Of me, y