The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1876-04-28

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sa@ 1"s "a en- 'sa' me insraa~i b -,
afshltrAts efIice.
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ett~, NH II lisasInsh ylfNri,'ss. tut
~ Nh have r ! ssla,S WI .a,a iisaeiss6a,
II cetsuh"
"nla yra nnslc~ hcw srlrniidly \
rent thrsnah The Last tyei ~ shr ball
so,leea I'm, yoa kept \ VI All The
w, hems."
A f.osson toke. Scene On Hanger
boAl Mrs. !. III. Mrs. e. ...Mhstvf
ypslf son I'm, Mr.. & \" MrH, &. 70
MIRA ]. Ny son Hen haven't rot
any eon DEN" Confusion,
ANewark husband who has married
histhlryl wife md linda her temper
ils. a sharp a. those III hls former
wiMs, speaks " her. In n guarded
war, a. hls third tcrm.Arcnt.
SIMPLICITY. A mnn In 4 New Orleans
court III justice, i,clng examined ~ .
witness. WINS asked VI lie WIRE boin In
uyfiprk. mo" answered the man |;
u was horn In Trds."
sMammN's darling Didn't hurt HE
llAlc cousin pnrln-ciy did he. dcArl
| II Was all nm accident, 10 be sure. -
"lcs. mamma; and all ] want ID a
chance 10 crack him again.
"Mammy, saitl n rrccoclons littlc
hoy, who, against his Will, Wns made
10 rock the cradle ri his hMhy brother,
X the Lord Inns any more bnnics TO
give away. don't you take en-
A convict wrotc n letter To his
brothcr--a serious letter. without an
attempt NJ n Joke, which, however,
concluded thus: II must leave OF
row, my feet arc 50 cold J cannot
hold my pen"
"Pnra." snii a small mrchin, with .
miachlcvons eye. ~ any, lttlNs. ought
tho muster 10 Hog fellow for whit no
didn't Alphabetically not, my boy"
well, then, he tloggesl me TO day
when didn't 10 my sum-"
| A New York merchant Inns been do
tcctcsl measuring thirty.four inches 70
tho yard Two Inches In nothing on 4
towel, but II tells heavily on a wooden
shirt when III. thermometer drops
down. Detroit Free Press.
The look q man gives hia wife when
hc suddenly nMakc~ In I'll. morning
and finds her going through Ills vest
pockets, liz not n studied expression,
but II Ii excellent In Its way. Dan
bury NrWs.
A new Paris telescope brings the
moon to within ton miles ~ The enrth
and n Michigan woman thinks TINT y
she were given room 70 yell she could
ons III a conversation With snlnc 0thcl
woman Ill, tic.s.
Scene IN tho cars A candy DO,
passing through, y ear in..t1n cross
old sen,lsn 2! ., md s"ys, ron, . corn
nnxrily replies tho man. Gum drops
gum draps'' calls tho smart boy.
Wilson, tho celebrated vocalist, wal
ul,rei one day In Ills carriage nea
Edinburgh, A scotch PAPER, nfirr RI
cnrdlng the accident. said I'VE Ar,
happy to state thnt hc was able ~ Ap
pear the following evening In three
plccesi'
A Texas editor says oi another Tcxa
editor That l,nlsied oil rcprohntc AL,
common denA-bcnt, will confer q fayo
by In no wisc referring TO M. We HAY
/. nothing In common with him. .ncvo
rcad his old "pied" handblll, and wan
nothing to do with him.
when Twcei took ont.---. ''sIr," sai
Mrs. dngler, who graduated n vAssai
that la vilc slang" "Oh. mean,
sAid daglcr, that he jumped --pshnv
lircd himself on. ] mean akippct
wAltxed thunder, Jane, you know !,
1T out"
A captain, who had d somnd.slccl
mate. caught nn Irish boy IN the mlt
dlc.WAtcl frying some pork and cgc
4 No had stolen from ihc shIp's store
10 whom the captain called out, "Yo
, lubher, you: I'll have nome of that.
Faith, captain, I've none for ",
replied the lid.
A young woman from tho rural dl
trlcsa entered u dry gOods store tf
/ other day. and asked for pair. |
stockings. The clerk politely Mske
I her what number she wore. "Wh
two. You blasted foull DO you KuI
pose Tn q ccntlpcdc. Or have got
wooden lcgY How many do you M
, pose 2 two:lsggcd ha'r.pin like u
! would wcari"
A Wild goose flew Into Oregon, ~
/, IT. crop being opened revealed = NJ
! kind ol grain. From the seed for
) bushels have becn rnisrd, and the Or
gon farmers ARE sitting on. tho lenc
With their elbows on thelr kneca, 10
: dcrinR what they shAll call the NJ
kind u whisky they make from u.
! Tho New York World has discover
, that tho paper phrase Tor exprcs.'l
diascnt Is no longer TOO thin"
"it wont w.sh," but, IT won't
: round and tho Cincinnati TN!
eays the phrase has m origin xlmil
= 10 thu Order % the Garter. II "
what she said ~ the .cntcrprising st1
= clerk, who assured her u was {
latest thing out.
Tho Norristown Herald says
= "Young man. II you should sss0 va
y atr1 gazing tnteutlY q your feet do