Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-05-31
"A Little Eun Now and Then

It is worth while going abroad for
a few years, if only to know the
meaning of that one word-Home.
In Iowa man who elopes with an
other mans wife can be tried for the
ofiense of receiving stolen property.
They don't allow man to go into
the Centennial if he is tight. But
then there is French restaurant in
| side.
There is enough crockery-ware--
tea-sets, vases, mugs, etc, at the Cen
tennial, to supply all America for a
century to come.
The Chicago Times is authority for
the statement that a pair of Indiana
twins, each fifty years old, wish to pass
themselves off for n centenarian.
A celebrated poet advertised that
he would supply ''lines for any occa-
sion." A fisherman sought him soon
after and wanted "a line strong
enough to catch porpoise.'
Rhode Island sends to the Centen-
NAL a policeman who measures six
feet three inches. That comes from
living in small State. Not having
room to spread he ran up"
sIf they keep open the Centennial
on Sundays" writes a good old lady
from central Illinois, "you won't
catch me a-going near the ungudiy
show, as intended to--no, not me r.
A young Western poet has learned
how to get at the heart of the editors
and secure the appearance Of his
verses. He sends along half dozen
cash subscriptions with the Manuscript.
A queer thieving mania has re-
Gently developed in Georgia. Within
the past month about a dozen church
es have been burglarized and the
pulpit Bibles stolen.
When a house tumbles in on a
Presidential candidate in Ohio, and
doesn't kill him, the population gem
orally relinquish their belief in an
overruling Providence.
The oldest piano i'm America is on
its way to the Centennial to be clawed
and paved and thumped around for
the benefit of small boys with tears on
the ends of their noses.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Chicago Times proffers this
advice: young men, keep your eyes
skinned for new planets; it's a good
deal nobler than hanging over front
gate giving Centennial kisses to
lovcsick girl"
A Milwaukee man made three un-
successful attempts to blow out his
brains, and then his wife told him
Don't try it again, John you havn't
got any," He goes about saying he
owes his life to that woman.
A hotel in Kansas has the following
notice displayed in the bedrooms !:
''Gentlemen wishing to commit sui
eide will please to take the centre of
the room, to avoid staining the bed
linen, walls and furniture with blood"
A bad spell. "Thomas, spell wealth
er," said schoolmaster to one of his
pupils. "Wi-e-a-t-h-i-o-u-r,w weather"
well, Thomas, you may sit down."
said the teacher. III think this is the
worst spell of weather we have had
since Christmas"
A poor Frenchman, whose wife
aroused him from sleep with cry !:
"Get up, Baptiste. there is robber in
the house y answered sensibly, "Don't
molcst him; let him explore the house
awhile, and if he should find any
thing of value we will take it away
from him."
Two sparks from London once
came upon dccent-looking shep-
herd in Argyleshire,anda accosted him
with You have very fine view
here; you can see great way. "Yu,
aye, yu, a feray great way" "Ah !!
you can see America here,I suppose p
.Farrar than that "How is that -
y II Jist wait tuIe thc nilsta gang AVA.
and yu'll see the mune."