The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1876-02-18
EeRlIuinftieS.

A Chicago justice wouldn't be-
lieve woman who ascribed her
staggering to the effect of a very
tight pull back skirt.
A Fifth avenue widow informed
friend that she couldn't tell
whether she would wear mourn
ing or not until her husbands
will was read.
One mature maiden in Harlem
has already become disguised with
the leap-year business, and de-
clares that good looking men with
fair incomes are fools.
A medical lecturer says that
thin soels are the worst propaga-
tors of disease among women.
Why don't he go further, and say
what are proper CATERS for them
to wear.
When California woman de-
feated lion in a hand-to-haud
combat the neighbors were greatly
astonished, but her husband qui-
city remarked, "Oh, that's moth
ing. That woman could lick the
devil.''
A young woman in Chicago put
her false teeth in a glass of water
at night, and in the morning she
found them imbedded in a chunk
of ice. She was late at breakfast,
from the process of thawing out
the teeth with q bonfire of match
es.
Mrs. Lane, of Mississippi, reach
ed Memphis with her husband and
number of children last week.
They were in the most destitute
circumstances, and to make mat
tiers worse, Mrs. Lane retired to q
deserted building and presented
her husband with an additional
pledge of her affections on three
successive days.
A lady remarked to a popular
divine that his sermons were a lit
tie too long. "Don't you think
SOP" said she-"just littleT' 'sAh
dear madam" replied the divine,
II am afraid you don't like the
sincere milk of the Word " eyes,
l do" said she; ''but you know
the fashion nowadays is conden-
sed milk"
A German girl, Rosa Cotter-
man, aged ten years, of Blooming
ton, ILL.,, lately stood in the way of
an Infatuated cow while she put
four or five smaller children over a
fence. Her clothing was torn
from her, and she was very badly
bruised, but the mayor and police
force, as they descended from the
lamp posts and telegraph poles,
were loud in their praises of her
courage.
"Young ladies have the privil-
eye of saying anything they please
during leap year." said, she cycling
him out of the corner of her eyes
with sweet look. His heart gave
a great bound, and while he won
dered if she was going to ask the
question which he had so long de-
sired and feared to do, he ans
wered, Eyes" "Well, then, said
she, evil you" He fell on his
knees and said: Anything you
ask, darling" await till I get
through. Will you take a walk,
and not hang around our house
SO much" And he walked.-Free
Press.
The London Transcridt reports
that venerable talker of twaddle,
a society man who has outlived
his usefulness, but who still ho-
vers around at receptions and par
ties, and INDUCES in small talk, at
which no one laughs but himself,
sailed up to a couple engaged in
conversation in a coy corner, the
other evening, and in his most
winning. tone said: "Judging from
the color of her checks, 1 should
say you had been saying some
very complimentary things to Miss
my boy" 81 never deal in
compliments" said the "boy,"
rather gruffiy. "Don't you believe
it." broke in the fair Miss -;
he has paid me q greater compli-
ment than you ever paid a lady in
your life. He has been talking to
me as though 1 knew something"