Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1876-03-30
sent species of
to the Board %
far"
at wasn't fortl ne,i him

Ut wasn't fortl ped him,
said MIR. Weaver. "It was because be
put pin in my chair was only
in fun about those things. knew
well enough Martin Van Buren was
an adjective"
"Weli, sir, that may or may not be
satisfactory explanation. But the
Board would be glad to know YOUR
authority for the statement that Gar
lbaldi was a Saracen who fought
against the Crusaders, and that he re-
eeived his name from the fact that he
was bald-headed? You see the pa
rents of the children complain about
this kind of thing. They don't like
IT. They say it poisons the minds of
the little ones, and it makes parents
mad"
"Pm sorry" replied Weaver. "but
| hold those views conscientiously,
and I'm going to stick to them"
"But such theory will hardly avail
to explain why you asserted to the
class of arithmetic that vulgar frac-
tions were so called because only
blackguards use them, and why you
made Mr.. Coyle's boy go down foot
for saying there were only two halves
to an apple. The community is in
dignant at these things, sir, and when
they learn that You taught those lit
tie innocents to spell dog d-a-w-g, 1
am seriously afraid that public SEN
tlment will be strongly in favor of
having recourse to violent measures.
Now You certainly know there is no
respectable authority for spelling the
name of that useful animal d-a-w-g.
1t is preposterous. 1t shows a want
OF proper sense of the fitness of
things, now don't itY''
"Well, may be it does. Bnt I'll
tell you. Everybody spells dog the
other way, dau g, and it struck me
it'd be a good idea for my scholars to
start out on a fresh, original basis;
to get up something new, and start
ling, and refreshing in the dog line,
and so threw d-a-w-g out as a kind
of an idea--a mere suggestion, you
understand, without intending to in
sist on it. But | don't mind coming
down on that. I'll give it to them
the old way if you insist on it,
"Very well, but while we are going
over the matter, permit me to urge
that you could have no respectable
authority for telling the school that
Omaha is the capital of Mexico, and
that the Revolutionary war began in
1872; and still less is there any war
rant for your assertion to the pupils
in history that the middle name Of
General Washington was McGrath--
George McGrath Washington. This
sort of education of the infant mind
attracts attention and excites re-
marks. 1t brings ridicule upon the
sacred name of the Father of his
Country, and leads the children astray
respecting the geographical location
of Omaha. 1t is wrong, sir-all
wrong; and the Board can't put up
with il"
'Well, the way l came to do that, 1
s'pose," said Weaver, "was that | used
to know n man named George Wash
ington McGrath, and | must have
confused him with the other one.
And as for Omaha, I'll bet you it is
in Mexico, Siam, or Siberia, or some
Of them places; now, isn't it2'
''The Board, Mr.. Weaver, do not
think it worth while to pursue this
subject further; but while we are
here, may as well mention that in
that poem which you wrote as an
example for the class in English COM
position, we find rather too much lev
ty for such serious matter as the
,ducation of children. 1t is not sole
v that you make 'Mazeppa' rhyme
With pepper nor that you cause
frolic' to rhyme with collie and
bowels with 'vowels,' but when you
,rIng in 'heifer' as q rhyme for
zephyr the Board feels that you
lave probably gone little too far,
md that your usefulness as guide
md instructor of youth is, perhaps,
,nded. We think, Mr.. Weaver, that
We had better ask you to resign. And
f you will permit me, would offer
on, in a friendly spirit the suggestion
hat if you can procure permanent
somewhere in white
'ashing establishment, or as an op-
rator upon saw horse, perhaps
our intellectual gifts may find
igher and more cordial apprecia-
on."
They are looking for a new peda-
ogue now, who is sounder on the
ommonly received theories about
lings.