The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-03-03
FACTS AND FANCIES.

model.
1T Is happy moment in young girl
life when she discovers that her lover
mustache and her hair are exactly tn,
same shade.
PROBABLY one of the most trying timei
IN mans life is when he introduces hi
second wife, seventeen years Old, to hi
daughter, who is past twenty.
A NEW HAMPSHIRE man sends four
teen OF his children 20 one school, anC
when they combine against the teacher
he knows that he can safely bet upon the
result.
AN interesting Harrisburg journal
says: "Mrs. Siebold, of this CITY, is eigh-
ty-fOur years of age, reads without
glasses, and has had her back broken
three times"
AND now Bayard Taylor also says tina,
black-eyed women can never love as
fOndly as those with blue eyes He saws
they may think they love, but it's only
a morbid affection.
"IF Jones undertakes to pull my
ears" said lOud-mOuthed fellow on d
street corner, "he will Just have his hands
full" The crowd looked at the mans
Cdio ~ lhVs
DID you every see the end of Henry
Smiths right thumb2 Because il YOU
didn't you never will, as Mr.. Smith very
foolishly attempted TO interfere with a
buzz saw, the other day.
THAT preacher forgot himself, who,
while add ressing ladies' charitable se-
ciety, said, my hearers, / now urge on
oil of ,-ot, 60 d;,.a 4 ou.,, ;,t, ,-o,,r og
pockets and haul out sunthin' for the
poor"
AN eastern man calls himself on his
card ga temperance boot maker" The
need of temperance boots is apparent.
for though they're not generally drunk,
it's a notorious fact that they're often
very tight.
ANNA DICKINSON complains that she
has bad sensations in her head" She
has been trying TO create sensations for a
long time, and if now she finds that they
have turned up in her head, she has no
body 20 blame but herself.
A DEBATING society Is preparing To
wrestle with the following question
" Resolved, that man who plays on an
ACCORDION and keeps barking dog can't
be Christian" Four members TO ono
want to take the negative side.
IT is said that since his release from
confinement, Brigham Young acts as a
changed man. It is only necessary for
one of his wives to hint that tho fire is
low, and he will trot out to the wood
shed az if he was thankful for the exercise.
SOME of the papers arc recalling tho
day when, 100 years ago, 10 women
went 10 tar and feather Il man and wo-
man who had named child Thomas
Gage, after the English general. Such
was our forefathers' idea Of liberty.
A CORRESPONDENT of the New Orleans
Times states that there are at present re-
siding in the province OF San Paulo,
Brazil, GOO American immigrants, who
are doing we'll The letter was written
in reply To statement made in the St.
Louis Republican that all the Americans
who had gone settle in Brazil had re-
turned.
THERE is watch in Swiss museum
only three-sixteenths of an inch in diane
ter, inserted in the top of a pcncIl-case.
Its little dial indicates not only hours,
and seconds, but also days Of the
month. 1t is n relic OF old times, when
watches were inserted in saddles, snuff
boxes, shirt-studs, st-pins, breaches
and fnger-rings.
TIE New York World, speaking Of n
European scandal, remarks: He is
said tu have lavishcd 100000 Toubles
upon this lady during as many years"
This is not lavish. 1t is downright par
simony. No lady can live i'll any style
on rouble n year--a rOuble Is about
equal to 100 copecks, or two sicca rupees
G-I5 Of a mohur or one-fourth Of halbe
vereinskronc).
INDIANA farmers recently got out
their plows, spat OF their hands, kicked
their oxen on the ribs, and jcrked around
among the rocks as naturally as though
il were the month Of June. A day or
two later they took their little crowbars
and pried up aB much of the plOws as
thew could. and will recover the rest in
the spring. Such is the simple life OF
the agriculturist.
WHEN a great Tennessee medium ma
terialized an Indian, and q bystander re-
marked that the spirit and the medium
appeared good deal alike, the manager
Df the seante said: " Well, ] used 10
think that way myself, but | understand
better now. You see, the spirit absOrbs
80 much of the mediums person in max
ing the naturalization that they do look
very much alike; mt times they can
barely be distinguished
A SEAL about three feet and half in
length was shot in the Delaware river,
near Morrisville, Bucks county, Pennsyl-
yania, couple Of days ago. The seal
had got considerably out of his latitude
md deserved death for his temerity in
locating himself OF a river whose banks
we're 81 thicklv peoplcd ~ those OF the
Delaware. His tealship was probably
refugee from a menagerie or geological
GARDEN somewhere along the river.
THU Staunton VindicatOr'5 compost
ion on the ground hog "Tbe ground
lor WAS out Wednesday. He saw his
.hallow. He ran back in his hole. There
will be awful weather for the next six
weeks. Many persons will damn the
round bog. But he will not care. lie
5 in his hole. II a person is safe in his
IoIe he docs not care how much cursing
roes on outside. II is the same with
ground hogs as with grown persons"
AN Iowa man went into his cOwstable
he other day and by mistake mixed her
IN a nice warm mash in box full OF
awdust, instead of bran. The COW,
merely supPosing that bard times had
,ome and they were all going to econo-
nize, meekly ate her supper, and that
nan never discovered his mistake until
he next morning, when he milked that
,ow and she let down half gallon OF
urpentine, quart Of shoe-pegs, and
,undle of lath.
a VALUABLE manuscript has been dis
overcd in the Azores, referring TO the
in the year 1900, OF the
lorthern part Of this continent, by emf
rants from Operto, Aveiro and the IS
and of Terceira. IL was written in 1910
" Francisco DeSonza, and BnrbOza Mac
ado states that it was lost during the
reat earthquake Of Lisbon in 1865. Tbs
ocument, which, il is said, will throw
reat light on the disputed question OF
nc carly discovery of America, is about
0 be published by learned gentleman
n the Azores.