The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-11-02

DAO eilA eiOuD4e eLOuDlSS gOu'
The ladies of 1776 wore pinafores.
while those ofI876 wear 'em pinned
behind.
The man who sat down on an
open paper of carpet nails, said they
reminded him of income tax.
1t is singular how early in life a
child gains the reputation of resem-
bling its richest and best looking
relations.
When young lady and gentle
man have a controversy about kiss
ing they generally put their heads
together.
a 'Down East" paper says there
is fog bell on that coast that is
"no more use than a boiled carrot
hung IN a boot leg"
The road that ambition travels is
too narrow for friendship, too crook
ed for love, too rugged for honesty,
and too dark for science.
The Soung lady who always
wanted her sweetheart close at
hand, explains it on the ground that
twas only nigh dear of her own.
There is nothing more truly in
sinuating and deferential than the
waggle of little dogs tail in the
presence ola big dog with a bone.
A negress speaking of one of her
children who was lighter colored
than the rest, said, Il nebber could
bear that dar brat, cause he show
dirt too easy"
In the far-off region of departed
years where the ghosts of our joys
and griefs fit to and fro like quick
ened shadows, perhaps the bitterest
memory of all is that Of our first boil
A wag loaned a horse and buggy
to a clergyman. The horse ran
away with him and finally threw
him out. The wag claimed credit
for having been instrumental II
spreading the gospel.
There was a little gathering the
other evening, and lady, with 8
desire to chasten the conversation,
asked young man if he had ever
felt deep and subtle thrill, full
ness of feeling, so to speak, that re
minded him Of another life. Hesaid
he had once. The doctor called il
cholera morbus.
Somebody has utilized pet and
other names, thus: For a printers
wife, En-; for a sports wife Betty
for lawyers wife, Sue; for team
ster's vie, Carrie; for fisherman
wife, Net ty; for a shoemaker's wife
Peg gy; for a carpetman's wife Mat
tie; for an auctioneer's wife Bid dy
for an engineers wife, Bridg-it
A lady wearing a wash bowl hat,
a patent spring tilter, one of The
latest, took walk one fine morning
Two extremely youthful rustics
who were gamboling in field, saw
her as she passed, and after staring
in establishment for a moment, one
of them managed to calculate
"Sneak home and get your shot
gun, Bill, that things 'scaped from
a circus"
A worthy couple, during a VIC
lent thunder storm, were discussing
the cause and effect of the forces OF
nature. "Who invented lightning?'
inquired the lady. Benjamin
Franklin p promptly replied the
husband. At this astonishing in
telligence the lady paused awhile
as if rejecting upon the achieve
ments of the inventor, and fnall,
manifested her appreciation thereo
by the exclamation, "Cussed foo
wasn't hep"
Two persons were once dis
putting so loudly on the subject o
religion that they awoke a big do:
which had been sleeping on tn
hearth before them, and he forth
with barked most furiously. A
old divine present, who had beer
quietly slipping his tea while tn
disputants were talking, gave tn
dog a kick, and exclaimed. "Hol
-. your tongue, you silly brute! Yo
know no more about it than the
do"
'My friends" said a returne
missionary, at one of the anniver
sary meetings, ''let us avoid sects
rian bitterness. The inhabitants c
Hindostan, where 1 have been labor
] ing for many years, have a proven
that, Though you battle a dog
tail in oil and bind it in splints, We
o you cannot get the crooks out of it
Now, a mans sectarian bias is sin
? ply the crook in the dogs tail, tbs
, cannot be irradicated, and hol
o that every one should be allowed t
j, wag his own popularity in peace
q Here is a little lesson in gramms
i which we copy for the benefit of OF
y subscribers:
t Jake did you ever study grammar
It did, sir.
o What case is Mr.. Blank?
It He's an objective case.
;. How so?
o Because he objects to paying fC
e his paper, but borrows and reads
r every week if he can.
/ Right. What's noun?