Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-10-26
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

| better. D. Lees are dangerous
Rochester Chronicle. ,4assa.- ga slsa, IaA
| IT costs New York country news
| paper verdict of $1,000 damages to
call clergyman "moral leper.''' -,
Soon, too soon, every paper in the
land will have an article beginning,
"Now that the Centennial Exhibition
is closed" etc. Nd t.,rot..a5 .,-s. 54t .,s
In two weeks from now, the man,
| woman or child who doesn't have a
Centennial medal will be counted poor
trash.-Eachauge. .,s
THE popcorn man who bought the
Centennial grounds for $4,000, and is
making $500 a day, is SO happy and
| patriotic that he can't sleep. z
YUsEF 'IzzU-D-DIN is the next heir
to the Turkish throne. When you
leave Constantinople next time you
will have to have pass for Yusef
| 'Izzu-d-Din his office.-N. Y. Graphic.
A BOY was gnawing away at some
watermelon rinds, and a passer asked
him why he was eating those rinds.
| The answer was conclusive: Coz
some other teller has eaten the corep
In police court two young men, &C
cused of stealing pie from a bakers
shop, pleaded that they were hungry.
"Why didn't you steal bread, then ?"
| the Judge asked, and the sententious
reply was, "Liked pie BETTER
The largest fish ever caught in Lake
Ontario was taken at Sackett's Har-
Dor, few days ago, in a seine. 1t was
a sturgeon nine feet in length, and
weighing 200 pounds. The blubber of
the fish weighed sixty pounds. f .aT
A LIVELY girl had a bashful lover,
whose name was Locke. } She got out
of patience with him at last, and, in
her anger, declared that Shakespeare
had not said one-half as many things
as he ought to about Shy-Locke. + g.
A GENTLEMAN standing on the
Body House steps, this morning, was
accosted by bootblack in this manner:
"Shine, sur?" "'Nor'' Shine EN-
up quick, sur. Dot in three diffrunt
languages Publican, Demmyc-atic
and Greenbacks." He got the job
Toledo BLADE. eoa4f" 5Gf ldg@# FL"
A MAN who cheats in short measure
is measureless rogue. If in whisky,
then he is a rogue in spirit. If by
classifying his accounts, then he is an
Vnaccountable rogue. If he gives a
bad title to the land, then he is a rogue
indeed. If he gives short measure in
wheat, then he is rogue in grain. +
THE French Minister of Agriculture
never saw a field of wheat until he
had held office two years. This is like
putting man to binding wheat when
he doesn't know how band is made,
or comforting the degree Of D. d. on
preacher who imagines that the Bible
was originally written in English.
A PARIS fashion writer describes a
ball-dress made entirely of flowers.
The garment is really an overdress, al
though it is SO long as nearly to cover
the other. From beneath the edge
falls some dropping flowers, like
fuchsias, and covering the upper part,
generally made of muslin, are flowers
of one species, or. mixtures of all kinds.
In answer to the question whether
any full-blooded negroes had died of
yellow-fever, the Savannah .Neaos says:
"The result of Our observations and
inquiries upon the above subject is to
the effect that the pure-blooded negro
is not a subject for yellow-fever. Those
colored who have died here, without
exception, have been persons of mixed
blood" 's ggBioo. u16 sfaslgb rclN.
Two RAG-PICKERs are cropping in
the same gutter, and ultaneous1y
strike cotton rag of most fearful APP
pearance. "My esteemed colleague"
says one, who had evidently seer bet
ter days, "might I trouble you to
yield that handkerchief to me ?'
"Might I ask my honorable friend
whyy' responded the other, with
equal politeness. because, sir, my
daughter is soon to be married and I
am DESTROYS of furnishing her with a
trousseau suitable to her station."-
Paris Paper. leo sza l5sG ..5E I. "a
A MARRIED couple were attacked in !
the street by dog. The wife screamed
and tried to run, but her husband
caught her by the shoulders and held
her firmly between the infuriated
beast and his person, while he whis-
pered in a hoarse voice: s'Don't you
dare to let go of me, darling. I'll
stand by you, even if he does bite"
Never losing his presence of mind for
an instant, the daring man baffied every
effort of the, fierce brute to get at him.
The owner of the dog interfered, and,
as the couple moved off, the husband
was heard to say: elf you had only
let that doc bite Won T MIGHT have