The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1876-03-02
n DESSERT.

ted.
You can never do too macl, TO.
make home happy-afd men never
try TO, adds an old maid.
1.-THE rich" snid a Dutchman, "eat
ycnison because II ish deer. | eat
mutton because it ish sheep.
II Is the universal verdict the
try over that American girls dress in
better taste this winter than ever be-
fore.
An exchange describes n recent
gorgeous sunset in its vicinity as re
sembling a ripe pumpkin wrapt in
the American flag.
She asked him If her new dress
wasn't SIS sweet rs u spring rose, and
the brute said il was, even to the mi
nor attraction of still having a little
due on il.
An exchange declares that a Pitts
bnrg milkman can pay $500 fines per
wear for watering his milk, and then
make more money than n Circuit
Judge.
When n stranger asked n Detroit
girl, whom he met at a party, il she
was married, she promptly replied,
Not quite but | have sued three or
four chaps for breach of promise"
Bret Harte admits that he learned
the printers trade. He says he could
work six quarts OF type per day OH a
hand press, and could correct u roller
rs good as anybody.
GLOW are you pleased with the
beauty of French ladies?" asked a
number of highly polished Partisan
coquettes of an English gentleman.
I'm no judge of paintings" was the
reply.
The late Rev. Daniel Isaac was a
great smoker. "lIa! there you are"
cried q lady who surprised him one
day with a pipe in his mouth, sat
your idol again!" "Yes, ma'an," re-
piled he coolly, burning it,"
You amt afraid to die 2" said the
clergyman, tenderly. NO." replied
the sufferer, "l'm only afraid if l do
that the old womam will go shooting
among my private papers the first
thing.
When a man detects a missing but
ton after getting on q clean shirt, no
N in the house is aware Of the fact.
lie takes off the shirt and puts on an
other, quietly smiling all the while.
lie never, never speaks oft 10 a soul.
A negro in South Carolina, who
was complaining of the hard times,
declared they were the hardest ever
known. Why" said he," l works
all day and steals all night, and yet,
I'm blest if | kin make all honest liv-
ing" -s..E. -.
"The boy at the head of the class
will state what happened in the dark
ages of the world2" Boy hesitatcs.
Next, Master Briggs, can you tell
me what the dark ages 2" *
guess they were the ages before spec
tacles were invented" Go to your
seats"
A young lady in Chicago put her
false teeth in glass of water at night,
and i'll the morning found them i'm
bedded in a solid chunk Of ice. She
was late at breakfast, the process Of
thawing out the teeth with = bonfire
of matches having been slow.
The owner of a pair Of bright eyes
says that the prettiost compliment
she ever received was from a child Of
four years. The little fellow, after
looking intently at her for a moment,
inquired nsively, "Arc your eyes new
ones?"
Maria" observed Mr.. Holcomb, as
he was putting on his clothes, there
amt no patch ON them brooches yet"
81 can't fix it now. no way Pm too
busy" well, give me the pacth then,
md IN carry it around with ME. i
don't want people to think l can't af-
ford the cloth.
A lady OF Rockville, Conn. received
note the other day, asking if a few
friends could have a surprise party at
her house. She said yes, and took
up the carpets and made ample pre-.
parations. The evening came and
passed with not even q caller. That's
where the surprise came in.
"Will your Honor please charge
the jury ?" asked an Arkansas lawyer
at the conclusion of a horsc-thief trial.
81 WILL" replied His Honor. "The
Court charges each juryman one dol
lar for drinks. and six dollars extra
for the one who used the Courts hat
for a spittoon during the first day OF
the session."
A lady remarked to a popular d.
vine that she thought his sermons
were n little too long. "Don't you
think so 2" said she-"just a little 2"
"Ahl dear. madam" replied the di-
vine, 81 am afraid You don't like the
sincere milk of the Word" Yes, /
do" said she; 'but you know the
fashion nowadays is condensed
milk" .t-.t