The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-06-26
Items of Interest.

The Texas Senate hns passed bill
excluding from Jury duty all persons
unable to read and write tho English
language.
Chinamcn who cut of their pigtails
sell them to shopkcepers who supply
tho San francisco young ladies with
switches.
A new rule on the Central Vermont
railroad requires every employee to take
the total abstinence pledge, and dis.
missal is to follow violation OF it.
A despairing swain, in fl. of despera-
ton, recently declared to his uDrelenting
ladyloye that it was his firm dotermina-
ton to drown himself, or perish in the
attempt.
A clergyman said, tho other day, that
modern young ladies' were not daugh-
ters Of Shem and Ham, but daughters
OF Hem and Sham, compounds OF plain
sewing and make believe.
Iii asserted by an eminent English
physician that by tho timely administra.
ton of the hypophosites Of limo or
soda, consumption can be stamped out
rs thoroughly rs smallpox by vaccina-
ton.
Il is claimed that truc !ady never
loses her temper. We never knew Of
one being really out Of temper, though
since the present style OF dress came
in we have seen them considerably
ruffled.
If ninety per cent. Of the inmates Of
our prisons arc drinkers OF ardent
spirits, as estirated by those in posi-
tons that give weight to their iudg-
mont, the way in which taxation may bo
reduced is apparant.
A greenhorn arriving in town, on a
first visit, heard boy calling "Oys.
ters," and asked: "What's that!"
"Oh, only oysters" said his friend.
"Grcat stars!" exclaimed tho yerdant
one, "do oysters howl like tbatl"
A man with largo family was COM
plaiuiug OF tho difficulty Of supporting
Mi OF them. But" sail n friend,
"you have sons big enough to earn
something" "The difficulty is, said
the mau, "they are too big to work."
A captain caught boy in tho middle
watch frying some pork and eggs hehad
stolen from the ships stores, to whom
the captain called out: "You lubbor,
YOU ri have none of that I" "Faith,
captain, I've none for ye," replied the
lad.
Somebody gavo Texas detective q
portrait Of Shakespeare, and told him it
was picture OF horse thief for whose
arrest there had been ieward offered.
Tho detective has since scrutinizel
strange faces closely, but has not Arrest
cd anybody,
The mau who is hardest to find is tho
one who has au "ofiice," particularly il
ho has "oilice hours" Whenever a
man wishes TO conceal himself from
tho world, he rents an Office, hangs out
a sign stating his Office hours, and then
stnys away forever.
The direct United States cablo COM
pauy have repeated their statements,
mud fortified them by report from Pro.
fessor Thomson, Of Glasgow, to the effect
that tho recent breaknges Of their cable
must have been the result OF violence
willfully applied.
On what two days in lifetime can n
man travel the furthest, and where does
he travel on those two daysl The day
before his marriage and the day after it.
The day before his marriage ho is at the
Cape OF Good HOPE, and the day tfter it
lie is in tho United States.
Four months ago party Of divers
started from San Francisco to recover
treasure from the steamer Golden Gate,
which was wrecked in 1861 of tho coast
of Mexico, and from which S775, 900
werc raised in 1868. Land had buried
the vessel so deep that they could not
reach any OF tho 100000 which arc
supposed to be still there.
A bcggar recently applied for aims Mt
the door OF partisan Of tho Anti-Men-
dicity Society in Edinburgh. After
yainly detail ing his manifold sorrowa,
ho was pcrcmr rtorily dismissed by tho
inexorabio gentleman. $50 away"
said he; "wo Gamma gie 20 naething."
"You might, Mt least" returned tho
mendicant, with m mir OF great dignity
and archness, "bave refused me gram
matically."
Lawyers arc sometimes very particular.
The other day ono was waited upon by
a young man, who began by saying :
"My father died and made will" is
il possible7 / never heard Of such n
thing" answered tho lawyer. ~
thought it happened every day" said
the young man; but il there is to bo
any difficulty about it had better givo
you n fec to attend to tho business. "
The fec WIS given and then tho lawyer
observed; "Oh ! think l know what
you mean. You mean TINT your father
made will and licd-ycs, yes; that
must bo It,.
Tho elephant in travelling circus iu
San Francisco discovered n pocket in
the back part OF girls dress, MS she
was leaning against the ropeand looking
tho other way. He reached in his trunk
and brought out IN apple, which he ate.
Another trial yielded package Of gum
drops, and a third some peanuts. Again
he essayed and got hold OF bottle ol
ammonia, tho contents OF which went
the way Of the apple, tho candy and the
peanuts. INSTANTLY the rcsentful elc
phant obliterated the girls hustle, fill
ing tho air with bits Of cloth, ncyspa
per and whAlebone.
Some distressing casos Of death have
occurred among the people engaged il
, the white lead works in England. The
] London Lancet suggests that tho follow
, ing precautions should be made compul
. sorry in all whito lead manufactures