Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1876-05-06
SECRETARY TAFT.
An Alleged !tccOunt OF Ills First
Interview With the
President.


Although one Cf the best lawyer.
in the country, Judge Taft dnc>n'i
know anything about war. He never
Tired off q two horse lumber wagon.
But he is determined to learn. The
ether day Grant dropped in n, ,he
War Office and found si, new Srcrc.
tarE deep among his oiicia! ducE-
iEentS.
Posting Yourself up hlphon>o ?"
said the President With an eucoura--
ing smile.
Yes" said The Judge eagerly,
Z" l want to know everything prrialn-
ing 10 The business have been
running over tie Gi-hur>cmrn;s Of
The Department fer the last wear. TO
see what was expended fer calapult-."
For cd'a-W Ga; :" said the Pres
dent, pausing. a. hr was about to
strike match q" his boot TO lighi IA
irc,h cigar
CalapuitS. Gon have rhrm in the
army, haven't YOU r said The Judge,
IN rather an ua"crtair tone uf voice.
The pre$;,!pn, smile! li,.'r. anh
said they did have a few Ir.l over
from the War, but tr h!evcd iLcv
had all been used up. Then The Sec.
rctary sail b" SHOULD certainly Dr,irr
some more maGr, for be considered
the ca'apu|t on" of the mos, elective
weapons in n"drrn warfare. They
did great rXcrution at the se;.r of
Jeru>alem, as remember rcadinr."
mused The Secretary, and it j. doubt
ful whether Tihc:uS would nave Gcen
able TO reduce tie city wi;hou. them"
Grant l,okcr: AT lis new Secretary
through ,ir cigar smunc IL lew
moments, and then told him If he
ordered any ra,apuijs be had better
have Them rihcd," with All adiuSta-
bic. muzzie-loa'ird hayonc,, and the
Secretary maGe q memorandum t.
that effect.
see hat considerable money has
been spent III experimenting with tor
pcdoes," confinnrd the Secretary,
looking over tie Disbursements, that
seems to be waste uf money.
Serious accidents have freuu, urIv
harpered frcm little boys throwing
torpedoeS under horses feet on the
Fourth Of July, and j: ought to be-
stopped"
The President allowed that the tor
pedo wasn't a thing to fool with. and
the Secretary read on. Suddenly be-
Jumped to bis feet, while the hot
indignant blood flashed to his very
temples aS he exclaimed: No won-
der the conn'ry j, impoverished, and
the taxpayer gr"auing beneath bis
burden. Here, while trade langaishcs
and The wheels Of Industry are clog.ed
all over the land, my predecessor has
been shipping luxurious de!craceS to
The garrison Of oGr forts, thinly coa-
ceaied under The term SHE'LL What
does shell nean? Shell oysters. Of
course. That's what it mranS. Bu;
they don; yet any shell while a.n
Secretary. IN settle that"
ThaI'> rigb, said the President.
" II they get any uy>ierS make them
she'll ont Tor themselves :" and then
he added. in an aside To himself
" they would have to if they bought
them Of one of Bc.knap's ppst-tra-
ders."
Yes" continued the Secretary
" look at the quantity of grape On
hand, cia->ed among 'mUniiions of
war What ducs grape mean, and
what is il for ~
at j. To wash down ,he shell oyster
with, | SUPPOSE" said Grant, with a
merry twinkle in his eye, which the
Judge didn't see.
That's H. xac,ly," criedlbe Judge
d" Keeping Tie soldiers on wine and
oysters. while thousands of people
are wandering around in hopeless
search for free lunch. | tell you,
'Lyssis, this is scandaious ~
The President, as lie rose TO GO,
said be was glad he had u Secretary
Of War, at length, who vas deter
mined to look into things and reform
abuses, aud, cauiiuDiug bin not to
forget to have those calapults rit:ed,
he reigrnrd 10 The WhI,e House,
with broader grin Oh bis face than
ansi odv bad ever seen there bcture.