Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-11-18
BEAUTIFUL DREAUER.
AN UNFORTUNATE sERESADE.

NlonL nau cIOSeu HeT saUle luaulie
ronnd the castle OF Mr. and Nrs. Tram
bles and pinned it (the mantle) with
star. You'll recognize that sentiment
as Poes | spose The worthy couple
had retired, and no sound broke the
stiffness but an occasional slap when
the old gentleman intertered with the
revels of the mosquitoes that attempt
ed to skate around on his chronological
riak.
But presently another sound was
heard. A sentimental young man who
had recently moved to town and who
had become enamored of young lady
living but a few doors from the Tram
bles, had, in the darkness, mistaken the
house, and taken his stand beneath their
window, intent upon serenade. lie
opened up with
Beautiful dreamer, queen Of my song"
etc.
Mr.. Trambles jerked himself up on
one elbow and listened in astonishment.
Presently he said:
Harriet, who is that fellow down
there calling a beautiful dreamer, dye
'spOse-you are me
You are me !" sneered Mrs. Tram
bles. Now you amt no beautiful
dreamer, are you 2
"Well, don't know as | am, re-
piled Mr.. T., mot when these hanged
mosquitoes keep Inc from going to sleep,
at any rate. To tell the truth, Harriet,
I'm of the opinion that beautiful dream
ers are mighty scarce article about
these premises. j."
ooh, | don't know as they are,
! quietly replied Mrs. T., "some folks
don't lose their beauty as soon as some
other folks DO. AT any rate, you mighty
know that the dulcrt-voiced minstrel
isn't alluding to you, tor don you hear
what he says-'beauliful dreamer,
queen Of my song-now, for PHYS
sake, Absalom, are you the queen OF
anybodys song? 2
"W-a-al," said Mr.. T., 81 haint new,
er been very extensively advertised as
secn, Il allow, but if can't get dp and
sing the socks otf"u you, or any OF your
tribe, Merriet, I'll swap voices with
mule and join the Italian opera.
"Did you ever hear the like III all OF
your born days ?" returned Mrs. T.,
who was thinking Of sundry compli'
ments bestowed upon her voice by
spooney young men, when, in her girl
hood, she used TO drive the neighbors
almost to distraction with 'Rosalie, the
Prairie Flower and The Dying Cali
tornia. Il want you to understand,
Mr.. Trambles, that the only reason that
my parents didn't send me to Europe
to practice for a primary DINNER was
that my constitution was too delicate
to stand a sea voyage"
"Do you think you are stout enough
now to bear y trip by canal as far as
Utica?' asked Mr.. T., in an aggravating
tone. "People who talk as you do are
well cared for in big building there.
"Oh, you're awful smart, replied Mrs
T. 1T wouldn't do to put you in the
asylum you're so sharp that the oihe'
lunatcs would use you to cut their way
out. 1t may be that I'm out of my righ'
mind, but thank heavens, never came
home rom a fat mems convention a,
two o'clock in the morning with the
sleeves of INV coat tied in hard knot
! around my neck, and hat box Oh my
| head J.
"Oh, you didn't" said Mr.. T., some.
what taken down. "WelI, I'm glad tc
hear you didn't. I'll tell you what you
have done, though-you've gone down
the street many aud many time in
broad day light with my old leather va,
lise strapped to you for hustle y
''Its false, snapped Mrs. I.
"Yes, | know its false" replied Absa
lom; $50 are your hair and teeth :"
This was too much for Harriet, and
catching up her bolster she dealt the
old gentleman a broadside across the
face and eyes. Absalom returned the
fire with spirit, and for few moments
the feathers literally flow. Tney tired
themselves out presently and again the
stiffness was unbroken, save by the song
Of the minstrel below:
Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
! List while | WOO the with soft melody"
SIGNS Hung OUt. 1t was only a
! piece of Grape floating from the door