The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-12-20

Du0 BIeotntcu Hlht Win nef pnObO.
graph, which he, on his bended knees,
swors he would always wear next to
his heart. Last Sunday evening he
pulled out his handkerchief from bis
back pants pocket, when 10 the pho.
'tograFh fell at his ladys feet. She
says he is either liar or else his heart
ds not in the right place.
The Burlington, VT, Free Press is
responsible for the assertion that there
are large qantities of Fenian arms and
equipments slowed away in the north.
'ern part Of the State in hogsheads
and boxes, in barns and other hiding
places, in charge of Irish farmers
along the frontier.
A little girl in Lewistown, Me-, was
ordered by her stepmothar to wesr
gloves to school as a means of curing
her of biting her nails. The child re.
turNed home barehanded, and the STEP
mother not only replaced the gloves
bat sewed them fast to the fesh at the
wrists.
There is an Office in Paris where mr.
ticles found are taken to be restored
to their owners. They are daily regis.
tered by clerks, one of whom was late
ly heard to call OF three umbrellas,
one watch, two rings, one pair of
boots, and FIVE babies.
Tombs threatens to start newspa.
per. His dream of calling the roll of
his slaves at the foot of Bunker Hill
Monument seems to have faded "into
the infinite azure of the past" but his
"cussedness" is going to keep to be
buried with him.
The natives of northern India were
greatly alarmed the other day, by
what was supposed to be large mete-
-oric stone, shooting eastward with ter
rife velocity, but it afterwards trans,
pired that it was only Dom Pedro on
his way to China,
A North Carolina farmer, to catch
the thieves who had been stealing his
meat, put some strychnine on ore of
the hams in his smoke honse. lie had
forgotten which one, and the whole
Family dare not touch one of $50 hams.
About ffty missing letters were
found recently in an old pump at
Washington, having been slipped IN
By mistake for letter box. Doubt
less the senders thought their missives
had gone up the spout long ago.
81 say, ma" exclaimed little
mink of thirteen, "do you know what
the pyrOtechnical remedy is for cry
ing infant? ?" "Gracious goodness me,
no; Inever heard of such Shingl"
- Well, ma it's rocket"
SPRAY, Mr.. Professor, what is a per-
iphrasis ?" Madame, it is simply a
circumlocutory cycle of oratOricaH SO.
norosity, circumscribing an atom of
ideality, lost in verbal profundity."
Thank you, sir"
SGid an old man to young game.
ster= "Do yoa wsut me to tell you the
best throw you can make with those
dice p "Yes," was the eager reply.
Throw them awGy," said the old
man.
Susan Fletcher Smith, an American
lady has bequeathed her body for dis
section to the Royal College of Sur
geoas, London, only asking that WON
en- students shall have the first chance.
Byron wrote: GLOW sweet to hear
the watch dogs honest bark I" From
which we infer that Byron never at
tended midnight sociable in far.
mer's mellon patch.
Juvenile soliloquy: "I wonder what
makes ma say she's not at home when
Billy Donne's mother calls, and then
send me to bed without my supper
when tell iie2"
Every year Georgia farmer cult
Yates a distinct piece of cotton, which
he calls his preacher patch" because
the avails of the crop go to the support
Of his minister.
A young man in Jersey City was
urged to marry, but he replied 81
don't see it. Ny father was a single
man, and he always got along we'll
enough"
eff there is no moonlight will you
meet me by gaslight, dearest Julian
'naY asked he. "No, Augustus.
won't, l am no gas-meter," replied she.
Now, verify, the ulster creepeth out
ITS summer coffin, and shaketh off the
chips and cayenne pepper, and rouseth
itself to a sense Of its Importance.
Patrick, lamenting his late better
rhnlc cn;L MOnL IL. -. = - :