Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1876-11-23

4 w .~hS e&t 4<.at ~ Otf-ttr A8s
The old adge, Don't look gift
horse In the mouth has been i'm
proved on and now reads, Never
look gift mule in the hind foot"
Dear father, come home." wrote a
Baltimore girl to a Tilden soldier In
Indiana He said: -Can't come. my
darling. Got In Jail before voted
-Ne,c Orleans Republican.
Now, then has every lady got her
seal-skin2 Joyful cries Of I'VE have.
~Of course we have" etc. Well. then,
put them right away. for they have
gone out OF fashion entirely.
An Illinois chap, in describing q
gale Of wind, said: "A white dog.
while attempting to weather the gale,
was caught with his mouth open and
turned completely inside out.
When the Rhode Island militia
paraded the other day you might hear
the officers thunder forth their COM
mands -Guide right; steady. meu;
don't push any one over into Con-
necticutis t -:
A woman's hand. How beautifully
moulded. how fauitiess in symmetry.
how soft and white and yielding, and
OIL how much OF gentle memory its
pressure conveysi Yet we don't like
it in our hair.
An outsider says: ~what is the
difference between the heroine OF
whittier's 1t might have been poem
and brickmaker?' And answers:
-One is Maud Muller and the other
Is q mud-mauler.-~---
A gentleman. on walking out one
Sunday evening, met q young Scotch
peasant girl whose parents lived near
his house. Where are you going.
Senny?' said he. Looking for SON.
in-law for my mother, SIR"
They were walking home from the
festival. last night She said. emphat-
ically, IF anything makes me mad, 1t
is to have fellow kiss me- There
was a slight struggle, smothered
report, and she was mad.
5-year-old tot, who had always
closed her prayers at night with And
God help Katy to be good girl
opened her eyes on that point. awhile
ago, and said. very decidedly: Il amt
going to say the rest for don't
want 20.
The thrifty Mr.. Samuel Smiles,
VINO turns out booke In perfect cas-
cade, has been making an aphorism.
"Those whom God hath joined In
matrimony,' he says, -ill-cooked
joints and ill-boiled potatoes have
very often put asunder."
You may think the times are hard
but how would you like to be Bull
garian and chopped into mince-meat
by the Turks and then be skinned
alive and made to fight Russian
soldier with a name as long as your
arm. Ia four foot snow. with not hing
on but a towe shirtf
Private Panel, you are wrong to
smoke 90 persistently. Tobacco 10
poisonous" -Ah, sergeant, it's a
joking you are" Il never joke. and
least OF all. With my interiors But
sergeant, my grandfather has smoked
ever since he was weaned, and now
is seventy-four." And what does
that prove. Perhaps il he had net
smoked he would have been ninety
by this time"
They were ip town the other even
| ing enjoying each others society. and
exchanging cuds OF gum with each
other. ~Jerusha, vhere'd you git
your gum, your'n's sweeter'n nine
said he; and ~ she told him where
she made her purchase. he exclaimed
by Jinks! that's where I got mine.
too; but"-he added. in lovers pas
sionate tone-~it's cause you've
chewed it's what makes it so good =
Camden (N. y Home and Country.
The following poem was written
by a farmer on the occasion OF visit
! by the Lord Bishop TO a couRtry
parish, and was actually sung by
the choir:
Why skip ye so. ye little hills.
And wherefore do ys hop.
Isit because ye do expect
To see the Lord Bishop,
Why hop ye so. ye little hills.
And wherefore do ye skip
Isit because ye do expect
To see the Lord Bish-ip,
Why hop ye 20. ye little hills.
r And why do ye jump ups
Is IL because ye long 20 see
t His Grace the Lord Bish-upf
Why Jump ye SO. ye little hills.
And wherefore do ye leaps
IL it because ye eager are
To see the Lord Bish-eep;
Food for Lean Women.