The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
FACTS AND FANCIES.

march of mind the intellectual back
woodsmen, reclaiming from the idle will
derness new territories for the thought
and activity of their happier brethren.-
: Carlyle.
five or six months of married life, re-
marks a veteran observer, will often re-
duce a naturally irascible man to such a
condition of angelic humility that it
: wouldn't be safe to trust him with pair
of wings.
! THE London Milk Journal says that a
q pint of milk heated a little, but not
= boiled, taken every tour hours, will
: check the most violent diarrhea, stom-
: ach ache, incipient cholera, and dys-
entery.
4 MAN, proud man! dressed in little
a briet authority, most ignorant of what
/, he is most assured, his CLASSY essence, like
4 an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks
before high heavens as make the angels
: weep.--Shakspeare.
A soUTHERNER, writing from Cape
May TO his home paper, wonders why q
prudish girl who will dance with no one
5 but her brother will run along the beach
"naked as to the knee" and kicking
sand at her beau.
IT is said that in 1859 George Wash
ington sent to England for nine pounds
of mixed candies, and this was at q time,
too, when a girl would desert home, pa
rents and kindred, and cling to a man for
four pounds and half.
AN Indiana girl wishing to see if her
lover really loved her, hired boy TO
yell "mad dog as they were walking
alone. Careful lover jumped a fence
and left, leaving her TO be chewed up
alone. She went off and married a dry
goods clerk.
MAMMA, if we cross the bridge at
night must we pay tollY "Of course,
my dear; why do you ask ?' "Why,
because the river has gone home 10
sleep" ooh, the river never sleeps"
Then why has it a bed, mammaP
THERE are brains so large that they
unconsciously swamp all individualities
which come in contact or too near; and
brains so small that they cannot take in
the conception of any other individuality
as whole, only in part or parts.-1frs.
! Jameson.
! WE Americans, who are all plain es-
| quires, with here and there a general, or
! a colonel, or say a majah, can afford to
( smile at our English cousins, who speak
I of Victoria as " the queens most excel
lent majesty" and of the little whipper-
/
highness, the prince imperial"
THERE are few pleasanter sights in
this selfish world than 20 see a coroner at
a picnic urging, with all the warmth of
disinterested friendship, the over-heated
to drink freely of ice-water and passing
the cucumbers and other cholera mix
lures assiduOusly to his companions.
A YOUNG lady received the following
note accompanied by bouquet of flow
ers "DEAR -: send you bi the
my love for you. The mite shade
menes kepe dark. The dog fenel
menes l am you slave Posls red and
posts pail, my love for you shall never
fale."
A GENERIC difference. School girls
out for a walk:
First school girl (sweet siXteen)-I am
so tired of walking along by twOs and
twos in this way It's as bad as the
animals going into the ark
Second ditto ditto ditto)-Worse!-
Half of them were masculine
LET us play the fool with mirth
and laughter let old wrinkles come, and
let my liver rather heat with wine than
my heart cool with mortilying groans.
Why should a man whose blood is warm
within sit like his grandsire cut in ala
baster, sleep when he wakes, and creep
into the jaundice Of being peevish.-
Shakespeare.
NOTHING will supply the want of sun
shine TO peaches, and to make the
knowledge valuable, you must have the
cheerfuIness Of wisdom. Whenever you
are sincerely pleased you are nourished.
The JOY of the spirit indicates its
strength. All healthy things are sweet
tempered. Genius works in sport, and
goodness smiles to the last.-EmersOn.
WHEN Goethe says that in every hui
man condition foes lie in wait for us,
"invincibe only by chocrfulncss and
equanimity," ne does not mean that we
can at all times be really cheerful, or at
Il moments notice, but that the endeav-
or to look at the better side Of things will
produce the habit and that this habit is
the surcst safeguard against the danger
of sudden cvils.-Leigh Hunt.
EVERY human soul has the germ of
some flowers within, and they wouldopen
if they could only find sunshine and free
air to expand in always told you that
not having enough of sunshine was what
allied the world. Make people happy,
and there will not be half the quarreling,
or q tenth part of the wickedness there
is.-IfTs. i. NJ Chill.
WHEN the president of the French re-
public and hero of WOerth and Sedan was
run over by a cart, he no doubt ex-
feelings similar 10 those of the
American veteran who didn't mind
diving, but thought il extremely hard to
20 through the battle of New Orleans and
the Cherokee and Seminole wars, and
then be "butted to death by billy
goat.
WRITING of foolish little countess
and other women, a Paris correspondent
says: Here was the petite brunette
lressed plainly, yet as she stood she was
worth in dry goods and Jewels (omitting
Ter bracelets) over $4,000 in her prom
made costume, not to mention her other
5oilets. Worth has some lady clients
Who spend $4,000 year for dress
llone."
THERE seem to be some persons, the
avoritcs of fortune and darlings of ma
,ure, who are born cheerful. A star
ianced' at their birth. 1t is no super
iciaI visibility, but bountiful and ben
icent soul that sparkles in their eyes
md smiles on their lips. Their inbOrn
amounts TO genius--their TarO
md difficult genius which creates sweet
md wholesome character, and radiates
heer.- WhiPPLe.
A MIsCHIEvoUs quack in Altoona
ity, Penn, advised young man with
more hair than brain TO use molasses-
yater, the theory being that after the
7ater evapOrated the rebelliOus locks
would coalesce and keep i'll place. lie
made his toilet of Sunday morning, and
aking a prominent pew, concentrated
he attention of all the flies in the
hurch, much to the relief and edifca-
ion of the congregation. After striking
wildly about and damaging a Palm-leaf
n undue vehemence, he made break
or the door with the flies swarming
bout his well-seasOned poll.
PREACHING VERSUS PRACTICE.-Mrs.
Nc Gill, says the New York Post, sat in
he parIor talking with the minister.
What do love-" said she, is to see the
children enjoy themselves" And yet
when, moment after, base ball came
inging into the room, scattering the re-