Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1876-11-23
WHOLE NO. 1852.
A Brief ourt-ship.

TOO gOOd 10 keep
"His name was Damphule; we used
to call him Jack for short. Heaven
help me it he should see this story! |
hope lie does not get the book.
"Among many of his misfortunes-
for he was cock-eyed, red-haired, and
knocked-kneed--he numbered the in
convenient one OF bashfulness never
theless, he was fond Of the ladies !;
although, when in their presence, he
never opened his mouth if he could
help it, and when he did speak, he
used both hands to help him in fact,
he was a man of great actions.
"Jack, one warm day, fell in love he
had just graduated at college, aud be-
gan to think he must seek the ladies
society; he was getting to be a man,
and it was manly to have a 'pen
chant
$50 Jack fell in love with the sweet
est, loyeliest, most hoydenish girl in
the square but how to tell his love
there was the rub lie had heard q
good deal of the Language of the
eyes, and he accordingly tried that
but when he looked particularly hard
at the window where Miss Emily was
in the habit of sitting, some person on
the other side Of the street would in-
variably bow to him, thinking he was
endeavorng to catch their eye. He
has despised expressive eyes ever
sinch then.
CAT length jack obtained an intro
duction through his sister, and with
her he called several times but she
was obliged to leave the city for the
season, and as each interview only in
creased his ardor, he determined on
gong it alone.
"Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an evening visit, he found
himself arrayed in his best. Blue coat,
metal buttons, black cashmere pants
(being a leetle tighter than the skim,
and a spotless vest.
"The journals OF the day state, as an
item of intelligence, that the thermom-
eter ranged from seventy. five to
eighty degrees. Jack swore it was a
hundred.
GAS the hour gradually drew near,
Jack found his perspiration and his
courage ooZing together; and he al
most determined to pull off, and stay
at home. He concluded, however,
he'd take a walk past the house, and
see how he felt.
"By the time he reached the man.
sion, he firmly concluded not to go in;
but on casting his eyes toward the
parlor window, and preceiving no
signs of life, he thought it was pro-
bable that no one was at home, and,
since he had proceeded so far, he
would proceed farther, and leave his
card.
"No sooner determined than con
cluded. In reckless moment, he pull
led the bell the darned thing needn't
make such great noise.
"'Thc door was opened as if by mag
ic, and the servant. girl politely asked
him in. Miss Emily was in the parlor
and would be delighted to see him.
20 Lord here was a fix 60 into a
dark parlor with pretty girl alone !!
| 1t was too late to retreat-the girl had
closed the front door, and was point
ing into the parlor where Miss Emily
was.
"Being perfectly convinced that no
choice was left him, into the dark
room he walked or Sided All was
perfect chaos to his eye for moment,
| but only for moment then from the
deepest gloom came forth an angel
voice, bidding him welcome, and draw
near To obey the order was but the
work of moment, as he supposed /;
but he little dreamt of the obstacle
which fate had thrown in his way. lie
knew too well that the stream of love
had many ripples but full-grown
snags entered not into his head.
Jadge, then, of his establishment at
being trIpped up almost at the fair
ones feet, by fat stool with plethoric
legs, which chance or careless SER
want had placed exactly on his road
to happiness. Over he went, and as
the tailor had not allowed for any ox-
ira tension of the muscles and sinews,
he not only procured tumble, but
also a compound fracture, extending
all across that point which comes in
closest contact with the chair
"Having picked himself up as care
fully as circumstances would allow,
the smothered laugh of Miss Emily
not setting him forward any, he at
last succeeded in reaching chair.
and, drawing his coat-tails forward to
prevent disagreeable expose, sat
himself down with as much grace as a
bear would when requested to dance
upon pile of needles.
"The young lady was almost suffo-
Gated with laughter at the sal mis-
fortunes of the bashful lover felt
truly sorry for him, and used all her
powers of fascination to drive it from
his mind, and eventually succeeded so
as to induce him to make remark.
On this rock he split,
"Just at this moment, she discovered
she had lost her handkerchief. What
had become of it ? She was sure she
had it when he came in. 1t must GER
tainly be somewhere about.
Haven't you got it under you, Mr..
Damphule p
Jack was sure she had not, but
poor Jack, in venturing to answer.
could not possibly get along without
raising his hands, and, of course, he
must drop his coat-tall. In his anxiety
to recover the missing wiper, he even
yentured to incline his body so as to
get glance on the floor. As he did
so, the fracture opened and behold |!
there lay, as the lady supposed, her
property.
"It was the work of bat moment to
catch the corner, and exclaim : Here
it is, sir you needn't trouble yourself
about it. Just raise little it's under
you.
"At the same time, she gave it a
long, hard pull. Alas ! the tail was