The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1876-09-20
SUNBEAMS.

Il Is remarked as a curious fact mat
men with the longest ears weat the
longest ulsters. .
No great difficulty "A young ssn:
dent Of. q quiet disposition wants to
get bored In q private family"
There is no special style Of engra!.
ing. engagement rings, A sptderS's
web, with a fly in It, IS a very pretty
device.
The young man with the flower: In
his coat Is to marry the young lady
who is in the habit Of saying tho
ide-yah!"
An Indianapolis man advertises /,
"See our So shirt" It doesn't take
much to make an Indianapolis man
proud.
The idea Of the devil was originated
by the Persians, who made him to
typify hunger. That Is what makes
men say. II am as hungry as the
devil: let's have half q dozen raw"
"Charlesl" she murmured as they
strolled along !the 60 other SsEos svsIni9g ar ana
lutUtS OLbIlCo, OCdA1 WA4SA ~ yS0N3
and which is Adonis?"
Says an Irish editor In his current
prospectus I'VE trust our progress
will be an advance" And In 9 politi-
oal article he vigorously e1claims:-
"Our enemies are fighting windmills."
From researches made on hens eggs,
Oellacher came to the conclusion that
klo >x,oo - ,ror<oHrofAo ora N0rnhIn M
presenting the phenomena OF parthe-
.nogenesis. This tickles tho hens,
nightly.
It has been discovered that the
average Life Of q flea Is eight months,
and when you see a man scratching
his back against the edge Of q wood
shed door just tell him that he Ia
wasting time.
A Duluth girl married q young man
because be lifted his hat so beautifully
as he passed her, She got a divorce
because he lifted the table so sbeauti.
fully when the dinner didn't suit him.
Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Henry" said John to bis wife,
one morning, If you give me q Christ
mas present this year, please arrange
it 30 the bill won't come In till next
month. It's just al we'll to keep up
the illusion for q short time"
The author Of IT want to be an
e eafTylng "G The hostility to General 4
Butler most too far. He wrote that
lovely little song in,the fond hope that
posterity would have something pleas
ant Tn remambar him.hy.
An apprentice sailor boy fell from
the "round top" to the deck, stunned.
but little hurt. The captain exclaim.
ed, in surprise, why, where did you
come from3" From the North OF
Ireland, yer honor" was the prompt
reply, as the poor fellow gathered him
self up.
An Algerian idea Is that the angel OF
death seizes q dying man by the hair
Of the head and carries him up to
Paradise. To look at the front seats at
q can-can one would suppose that the
angel Of death had been making a
good many desperate grabs, and fall.
ed to carry away anything but hair;
Said q Nevada lawyer concerning a
man who had kicked his wife down
stairs; Gentlemen Of the jury, he
h'istedher! Great heavens, he htsted
her! He-the brute, once, perhaps, q
man-raised his foot and applied II to
the form Of her who, at the holy altar,
he had sworn to love and cherish"
We hear that keno Is to be introduc,
ed into society this Winter as a literary
Q Of passing tho long evenings.
We are told that it Is a little arrange.
ment where you sit and hear q man
say "levl' 'isevi" "three!" and you
get five buttons in q 20 oil except
one, when some one at the other end
Of the room takes all the money.
have se q fire. In this car!" "A' " We'll YOU
see, one of our Directs Is 4 clothing
man, and another Is d doctor, und an
other is a drug store keeper, aud MI.
other runs a tombstone factory, and
you know in this world people must
live and let live Soyou see" "All
right, sir; 60 ahead with your coffin"
At Rawling, Wyoming Territory, a
fellow standing on the depot platform
Of the Union Pacific Railroad acct.
dentally shot off his rifle. The ball
went through q weather board, through
q mans cost tail and between an In.
valid lady and her daughter. Amid
the sensation the fellow looked at the
weather board and said, LISA smuths
hole"
As a colored resident Of Detroit was
breasting the storm, with a new UNI.
brella over his head, he was halted by
q friend and brother, who asked, is
dat your umbrella?" Eyes, sah--cost
me g." was the prompt reply. "Mr.
Savage" said. the other. very solemn
w, "when a man will buy q 81 um.
brella to keep the wet o1'n q fifty cent
suit Of close, what's de use to talk
about economy9"
A resident who reached Detroit by Q
noon train lately, after an absence
Of two weeks. was met at the depot by
his eight year old. son.. who loudly
welcomed him. sand Is. everybody
we'll, Willie?" asked the father. "The
wellest kind" replied the boy; "And
nothing has h~appenedW Nothing
at all. I've been good and Jennie's
been good, and I never saw ma behave
herself so we'll as she has this time!"