Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-07-26
"A Little Fun Now and Then.

"A A1CCl6 uu NOW ana AuSu.
! A Western settler-The contents of
a six shooter.
There is nothing too thin in hot
weather.
| Next Presidential Inauguration day
'|-March 5, 1877.
| There are 100000 farmers in the
United States hard ut work.
| Lawn dresses and lawn covered
hats are raging. Maidens all for
lawn!
| A Florida gardener has raised a
cucumber four feet and a half long
Cholera in the bulk.
It's well enough to sleep on the
roof, but don't roll off and mash the
rose bushes underneath.
"Tilden is the man, and the niggers
have got to help elect him." This is
the war cry in the South.
i A Boston Sunday school informs
the public by circular that it will
soon celebrate its 'annual anniver-
sary."
| The Philadelphia pickpockets say
that they never knew people to hold
to their wallets the way they do this
Centennial year.
John Smith, a hod-carrier of Boston,
died lately. At the last moment he
muttered: Telegraph that another
Boston man is gone"
"He'sa polished gentleman" said
she, gazing fondly at the bald head
which showeth her handiwork.
Brigham Young again dreams of
the Sandwich Islands where there is
no one to molest or make him afraid
Of a corralful of wives.
| Boarder-"Has the red-haired girl
gone away?' Landlady-"Yes. sir"
Boarder-"I thought so. found a
black hair in the butter today
Eggs shipped any distance never
hatch well. 1t is poor investment
to pay two OF thre dollars dozen for
eggs. Better send for pair or two Of
chicks.
When Susan b. Anthony lectures
she only asks $50 for it, while Ann
Eliza Young, who has been married,
gets 500. Another argument in fa-
vor of matrimony.
A Dutchman, in San Francisco, lin
trying to reach ferryboat, fell into
the water. His first exclamation on
being hauled out, was: "Mine Got,
let's have pridge!"
| A swarm of caterpillars which had
gathered on the rails of the Maine
Central Railroad near Pennington,
compelled train to stop for several
minutes a few days ago.
A sensible writer advises those who
would enjoy good eating to keep
good-natured, for, says he, eau angry
man cannot tell whether he is eating
boiled cabbage or stewed umbrellas" J"
i The famous city of Sebastapol does
not contain over 5000 inhabitants,
who vegetate in the midst of crum-
bled walls, living by wretched COM
merce, which hardly brings them in
bread.
The deepest Atlantic soundings
ever made were about 80 miles north
of the island Of st. Thomas, in 1875
fathoms, and the pressure was so
great that the bulb of the thermome-
ter broke, though made to stand a
pressure of three tons.
At European hotel. recently, a
foolish man stared at Jane Gray
Swisshelm. Jane dropped her knife
and fork and went to staring at the
foolish man, and succeeded so well
that in few minutes he looked, she
says, like Il whipped spaniel.
A young French Canadian has ac-
complished the feat of walking on
the water. lie has a pair of canoe
shaped shoes. which bear him up and
enables him to keep his balance. lie
, He recently walked about mile or
the Ottawa river.
There is no telling what this GEN.
tcnnial year will bring forth. A storm
visited the mountains in Berks coun
, ty last week, and blue and green hail
stones of the size of walnut fell il
great quantities. BY rights they
, should have been red white and
; blue.
The cavalry branch of the army Of
Greece numbers eleven men, nine
horses, one old omnibus from New
York, and blackboard for the Colo
! mel. The horses are now being shoe
: and the cavalry placed on a war foot
> ng.-DetroH Free Press.
! They were talking of death, ,whel
I one man asked: What were his las
! words?" sHc didn't say anything,
was the reply. "That's just like him,
4 said the first man, with an approving
4 nod. "There was no gas about him
He was all business
/ Don't be too polite. A Brooklyl
o man stepped from the platform of
of a street-car, a few days since, +
permit lady to enter, and the ca
took of four of his toes. He has re
covered 81, $50 from the car company
Q however, which partly rewards hir
:, for his etiquette.
a A practical rural lady, attired in
I. black bombazine dress and an over
r. grown bonnet, gave vent to her as
e constituent, when looking at tn
II laces displayed by Belgium, by es
/. claiming: "Five hundred dollars fo
: one little handkerchief like that
5, Why, one good blow would send
e all in tatters !'-Noyristo,cn Heral,
l. We saw mosquito work about te
c minutes yesterday trying to get h
l. bill through the skin of a man wh
owes us two years subscription. Ho'
we laughed at that demoralized lit
n insect as, with look of disgust, h
le folded up his little bill, placed it
his pocket, and went for another vi
IN tim.-- WhitehaH Times.
II A lady in Bedford, who lived ne.
ee church, was sitting by the windo
d. listening to the crickets, which We
ne loudly chirping, the music from Il
~ choir rehearsal being family audibl
es when a gentleman dropped in f
IN miliarly, who had just passed Il
rs church and had the music full in h
en- mind. "What noise they are NAL
ing tonight said he. "Yes." sa
ld the lady, and it is said they do it wi
en- their hind legs"
Du pARRICIDE