Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1876-02-19
sOUrHSIDE ITEMS.

SOUTHSIDE ITEMS.
The wonder is that you printers can
decipher SO accurately the chirography
of your correspondents. The occa-
sional typographical errors which oc-
cur, seldom affect the meaning of the
writer. and can easily be detected by
the intelligent reader; the reading,
however of my last communication
was amusing at one point. You have
the word proUiding coming between
the Poplar Grove school teacher, and
"a multitude of girls and boys" So
far is he from being a patriarch that
he has not yet found fair one worthy
to share his lot. | wrote presiding
oUer, having reference to his functions
as teacher.
Collinsville is fast becoming an edu-
cational and a religious center. Two
| schools are in successful operation
there, and three preachers minister to
the people in holy things, occupying
every Sunday except one in the month.
Let me not omit to state also, that it
can boast of portly Squire in the per-
son of Thos. L. Harper, who, though
but recently installed into office, car
ries the dignity of his position with as
much ease as he can hold a COW. /
saw him do this last thing astsummer
with as little exertion as the strongest
man ofyour firm could manage sheep.
pity the man who refuses to keep
the peace when he commands him to do
so. Fortunately, he is good hu-
mored, well disposed, christian gen.
tleman. Another Collinsville item:
The Rev. Mr.. Gollerson has annouced
that he will, ere long, deliver tenn
perance lecture to the citizens of that
community, and expresses a desire
that all come out to hear him. They
and l will be there, and we will hear
something good. Everything suits
county paper, and at the mention of
temperance, am reminded of an in
cident which occurred ID certain To-
cality in Middle Tonnes see. You shall
have it. Hero it is: Shade Dagger
was an old fashioned topper The par
sonage was just across the street from
Sam CARROTS saloon. The Rev j
N was stationed preacher. Shade
had been imbibing corn juice" all day,
and now it is late in the nighttime
for Sam to close doors. Shade must
go home, or some where else. He
walks across the street, being braced
by the cold air of winter night,
knocks at the door of the parsonage,
and is admitted. Complaining of be-
ing almost frozen, the good man soon
had rousiDg fire glowing upon the
bloated features of his guest. Shade
tells the preacher how wicked he is,
and expresses great anxiety to lead a
holy life. The preacher sympathizes,
and gives Wholesome counsel. Shade
asks him to pray for him, and his re-
quest is promptly complied with
Before prayers are over the fire has
warmed the whisky, and Shade arises
clumsily from his knees, feeling much
worse. Pardon" said he, after a
pause of few minutes, Il feel worse
than | did at first, please pray for me
again, [ am dreadful sinner" Pray
ers over the second time, and Shades |
whisky has limbered him all over
DO you feel any better now,?" asked |
the good man. No parson, I've been
getting worse and worse ever since you
started to praying for me-Your pray
ers ain 'tworth IA in'tworth shucks. |
I'm going back to Sam CARROTS, and |
try ticker again"
Matters of great importance are
transpiring just now in the grange, |
which demand the presence of all the |
patrons at the stated meetings of their
respective oranges. Let due caution
and wise counsels prevail, and the
grange movement will stand forth as
one of the grandest enterprises of the
nineteenth century. | have the means
of knowing that the Southside, Pop
lar Grove, and McAllister oranges, |
which are splendidly oficered, are per-
fectly cognizant of the situation, and |
are moving forward in perfect har-
mony with the order at large. | pre-
sumo that all the rest are doing like
wise.
Our pastor could almost taste the |
ash-cake and butter milk the other
day-the fee, you recollect, agreed |
upon for marrying Jim Scruggs.-
Having the idea of obey, as contained
in the marriage ceremony, in his mind;
and thinking how nice it would be to I
have somebody to wait on him, and
bake the future ash-cakes, he pro-
posed to young lady to loat on him,
which she consented to do. He at
once notified the preacher of his en-
gagemeut, with more than his usual
cheerfulness, but in making arrange
ments with the lady for the closing
scenes of their engagement, and the
consummation of his bliss, she called
his attention to the fact that she only
agreed that she would be one of the
walters at his wedding. Fond hopes
we're blasted, and ash cake and butter
milk retired into the uncertain future.
| have now said enough to satisfy