The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-03-24


He came into the city room;
He was goodly childe;
His brow was pale and lofty, and
His light-blue eye was mild.
Quoth to the city editor,
With blush upon his cheek:
''Sir, may there be vacancy?
employment, tits, seek.
Modest am as youth should be;
But believe that, really,
Beneath my hat have the brain
Of Bennett or of Greeley.
Fam would reporter be,
To gather city news,
And apprehend the mystery
OF scoops and interviews.
The reporters Is a pleasant life;
Obi ample is his pay;
Little the work he's called upon
To do from day to day.
He saunters round the street, a free
Cigar upon his lip,
Him myriad bar-keepers invite
To take deadhead nip.
He pays no fare on the railroad car
Wiener abroad he goes,
And front seats are reserved for him
AT theatres and shows.
Merry the lie he leads, good sootb,
And liberal his wage.
SO tell me, thou good editor,
II me thou wilt eDgage?"
III.
Up spoke that city editor
With a sard0nic leer:
"What, then, are thine requirements?
Unfold them to mine carr
".
To him the goodly childe replied:
81 am graduate
VI the foremost university
In an adjacent state.
Class poet have been, and, as
Valedictorian bold,
MY name upon the scroll of fame
Last June was high enrolled.
Twas printed in the POdunk Globe,
And must beg to state
There Is new quotation int
Beginning Lives of great
have written for the Podunk Globe
And for the Mud Lick Age;
So tell me, thou good editor,
Anne thou wilt engage?"
Up spake that city editor
With sard0nic smile;
"Twere idle to deny that
Am taken with your style.
You have powerful mind and q soul
That Is innocenttof guile.
For thee prophesy career
Even more successful than
BY Horace Greeley was achieved,
Or Matt Carpenters young man.
Lo thou shalt my reporter be
And earn goodly wage,
More than could pay the Podunk Globe
Or the Mud Lick Weekly Age''
To him the goodly childe replied:
"Your kindness overpowers,
But, like the busy bee, I'd fain
Improve the shining hours.
So give to me the good note book,
And Faber Mop, -
And let me know what's to be done
And will up aud do.''
Up spake that city editor
With q sardonic look,
As from the rack upon his desk
mighty tome he took;
Just now the times are very duh
And little is there that's new,
But editors find some items still
For idle hands to do.
Let's see. A dog fights to come eff
Up in the Thirteenth Ward:
You must find out the time and place,
Labor by no means hard.
At noon there'll be taxpayers
Convention on Clark street,
And at o'clock the ministers
At Union Park Church meet.
II You happen to be passing down
Wahpenser avenue,
Call on this gentleman and get
A good long interview.
Then loaf around the city hall
And see what COlvip says;
And interview Frank Adams, too,
Likewise Comptroller Hayes.
There's another thing 1 wish you'd do
CTS an important thingl
That's to find out all that's done about
The Chicago Whiskey Ring.
There's secret meeting to be held
And aldermen thereat
Will discuss this new gas COMPANY
Be sure you don't miss that.
And jot down any little thing
OF interest you may meet,
For good news-gatherer findeth out
Items
And, o, wish you'd interview
McCafrey. He may fight.
He travels with nasty crowd,
But God defend the right;
SO take this club. In case of rows
Be sure you WELD it well,
And when you're writing up the fight
Just give him merry hell.
That's about all. guess. Tonight II.
You might take this lecture in;
Don't give 1t more than two columns.
This'n do to begin.
Time may hang heavy on your hands
AT 6 or thereabout.
SO come to me and the afternoon
News aid in writing out.
The rural journalist at first
Took his appointments down
In all sincerity. But soon,
His brow assumed frown.
From black his look next passed to blank,
And in his fixed gaze
Alarm and indignation were
Absorbed in sheer amaze.
Pale grew his face as any ghost:
Down dropped his Faber good;
You could have hanged your hat on his eyes
So far they did prOtrude.
His lower jaw like a cellar-door
Fell down upon his breast,
And to the city editor
These words he soft addressed;
"Lo, thou hast chalked out work enough
Me seemeth, for one day.
Ere 60 forth on the war-path
Say what shall be my pay?''
TX.
Up spake the city editor
With a sardonic grin:
"Twelve dollars week for the first month,
And afterwards fifteen"
Then he uprose, that goodly childe,
And made a low salaam
Unto the editor, the while
He murmured, well, I'm DAM"
He whistled a mourntul air, and said:
"Well, guess I'd better get.''
And forth he Jared from the open door,
And he hasn't come back yet.