Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1876-07-27
NASBY.
He and Issaker Gavitt Go to Indiana on
Political Mission.
The Mistakes that they Made, and the
Dire Result.
From the Toledo Blade.l


THE STATE Nv KENTUCKY, July 18th,
1S76.-Man is NV but few days and
full NV trouble. / can't understand
why life should be sich conundrum
1 can't understand why things shood-
ent go on with more perfect loose
mis- and an easier gait. In short, why
shoodent everybody, except the black
Republicans, hev precisely wat they
want without all trouble and perplex-
ity to git it?
Feelin it. to be my dooty to do
suthin in the interest NV "Tilden and
Reform" / conclooded to spend a
porshen NV the money that John Nor
rissey left with me, to infiooence vo-
tiers in lower county in Injeeany;
and, to do it effectooally, made per-
feet preparashen beforehand, and
made sich arrangements ez wood re-
suit in proper demonstrashen NV
the sooperiority NV "Tilden and Re-
form" over Hayes and Wheeler.
Ez l he'd to do the speekin, / in
tendid it to be effective. 1 wantid
that my work shood count for the
coz, and be seed that shood result in
a glorions harvest in November.
1 hev alluz notised that ef speek-
er kin be interrupted at the rite time,
and ef the feller wat interrupts hap
pens to ask question on wich the
speeker is perfeckly postid, his
prompt anser alluz put the question
er, or interrupter, to fiite, and wins
for the speeker the sympathy Of the
people. 1 perposed to interdoose a
new ijee in stumpin, by taking with
me my own interrupter, so that 1
Good be sure that the queries he
shood put wood be sich that 1 Good
properly anser, and anser with effeck.
/ selected ez the questions l wantid
asked me, these
Wat is the amount NV the nashnel
debt?
Ell Linkin he'd bin detected, wood
that debt hev bin incurred?
Wuz not the incurrin NV the debt a
blessin, pertikelerly ez it was incur
red to give freedom to 100000 mig
gers?
Is it not the wisest thing we kin do
to git down to gold basis towunst?
Hadent the Western farmer ought
to swet and scald to pay the debt to
the Eastern capitalist?
writ these questions all down, and
arranged for the answers. You see
they give me a chance, eff Good hev
EN- asked In order, to give the Repub-
likins sich hidin ez they never he'd.
1t give me an opportoonity to show
that the debt was made i'm the inter-
est Ablishnism; that, ef the Republi-
kin party he'd never succeeded, there
never wood hev bin no debt; that to
git back to gold wood room every.
body; and that the Eastern bondhold-
er wanted the Western farmer to pay
the debt anyway.
/ decided to take Issaker Gavitt
with me to act sez Republican inter-
rupter, and 1 he'd to git him up ez a
Republican. 1t wuz a hard job,-the
hardest ever undertook. To meta
morphose a CROSSROADS Democrat
into a Republican is task that re-
quires genius; but l undertood it,and
succeeded to some extent. powder
ed his nose, he'd him shaved, and l
put on him a clean shirt. 1 made
him black his boots, hevin first fur
nished him with pair, and then l
put on him decent SCOT OF close, and
made him wear EN- about the corners
awhile till he got yoosed to EN-, and
Good appear easy in EN-. Then took
him and coached him in the questions
wantid him to ask. l he'd him re-
peat EN- over and over agin till he
he'd EN- by heart, and told him ex-
actly where in my speech l wantid
him to git in with eech NV em. re-
peated my speech to him dozen
times, and he'd him interrupt me, with
his questions, or rather the questions
he'd prepared for him. and then /
made the ansers, and instructed him
in all the minutia, even to his blushin
when he sot down discomfittid.
1 got him so well instructed that /
flattered myself / shood go through
with a wet sheet and "A fiowin sale,
and shood accomplish big work for
the party. 1 laffed to think wat a
good thing it wood be to hev Issaker
dressed up ez Republican, with his
nose powdered. and to hev him ask
me sich questions ez 1 Good anser-
askin EN- ez Republican, and me
putin him to utter shame.
The fust mite i spoke he'd it all ar
ranged. Issaker wuz to set In the
awjence. and at the proper time, in all
NV wich he was instructed, he wuZ to
commence. 1t wuz big meetin, the
skool-house wuz full, and 1 hoped for
great things.
Alars for human expectashuns! 1
had bin so bizzy drummin up the
meetin thro the day that 1 didn't
watch Issaker, and knew nothin NV
wat he wuz doin till / saw him in his
place In the awjence. l commenced
my speech, and hedn't got decently
into the introduchsen-I think wus
dwellin onto the horrors NV missegen-
ashen-when up he got. Great heav-
ensi He wuz ez drunk ez billed
owl, and hedn't any more idee NV wat
he wuz doin than 500 Injun. Risin
to his feet, he swayed around unsted-
ilv, and remarked that he he'd ques-
ton to ask. In agony, for 1 coodent
help myself, 1 sed, ASK it,"
"Ez Republican," sed he
The awjence all laffed. for they
knowed by his nose that he wuz no
Republican.
"Ez Republican 1 want to know
.rLofhor q dahf whioh xuilu inouIred