Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-12-13
ODDS AND ENDS.

uFccH cUTI anu cuCuIHDcTS iTe 10
be had in Amador county, Cal.
Burlington, Iowa, is to be the scene
of a baby fair on the 2lst and Odd in
slant.
1t is proposed to appoint the Wild
ow Of the late General Custer Post
mistress at Monroe, Mich.
An old man looked at his daughter
sadly, and said: "She and that young
man have worn out fourteen sets of
gate hinges, and nowhere near an I'M.
Outstanding yet"
A lady and gentleman created a
sensation in Quincy, the other day, by
riding through the streets mounted
en- one horse, he before and she be-
hind. They were from Hannibal on
their wedding tour.
1t is getting almost time for holt
day festivals with their saw dust pin
cushions, zephyr tides, cardboard
match-boxes, silk hair-reccivers, fan
mel pen-wipers and little worsted clc-
plants.
There is time for everything. and
the time to swear must be when a
hurried man, with both arms extend
cd in the dark, tries to go each side
of a door at once, and mashcs his
nose on its edge.
A girl at Sunderland, Eng, while
running to look at a funeral, fell
down, and n hairpin ran into one of
the apertures of the spine through
which the nerves pass, causing in
flammation of the spine and ultimate
ly death.
The latest medium is little girl al
Council Bluffs, who summons another
little girl-spirit, who gives stick OF
striped PEPPERMINT candy to the
goody-goody old gentlemen who be.
lieve in her. What a sweet little
specter she must be.
Mr.. Emory Cobb, of Kankakec, I'LL.
was offered $1,000 for half interest
in the Nineteenth Duke Of Airdrie
His grace was bull, and oh how
Mr.. Emory Cobb only wishes he had
sold the head and held onto the tail
He must have been bull-dozing wher
he let that offer pass by him.
An old negro testifying in the Grim
inal Court of Memphis, Tenn, con
corning the loss Of his wardrobe by
theft, fixed the following values upor
the same: Coat, So; 'sbriches," ~
stop shirt" 81; "onder shirt" *
cents; draws" rs cents. The latter
article, he apologetically remarked
were "very ole ones"
San Francisco Post. "Where were
you standing al the time this trouble
occurred?' asked a lawyer in pc
lice court this morning Of an athletic
female, whose ayoiPdupois ranged
somewhere In the vicinity of 2O(
pounds. "YOu can bet your life
was standing at my husbands back
where every woman ought to b.
when the old man is going to get int
a row." No further questions wer,
were asked.
Inquiring Turk to an English en-
ginecr on railroad just built: "Why
Tchellaby (cxcellenoy), is it not ,
fact that in England you trap !,
strong young devil and shut him NJ
in that great fire-box on wheels
where you induce him to turn ,
crank connected with the wheels, and
pay him for doing SO by giving him
cold water to allay his tortures 2"
A few days ago in Memphis, Tenn.
o widower welded a young girl, and
after the marriage feast the mother
of the bride kissed her good night
Imagine the CONSERVATION of thu
bridegroom when he heard his beau
tiful bride begging her mother tt
take her home. The old lady refused
to do this, and after much coaxins
the lovely bride was induced to re
main with her husband.
A Yankee in Paris, who was listen
ing to the boasts Of lot of English
and French artists about the wonder
full genius of their respective country
men, at last broke ont, saying: ooh
pshaw, you git out! Why, there
Bill Devine, Of our village, who XIII
paint o piece of cork so exactly like
marble that the minute you throw i
into the water it will sink to the hot
tom just like a stone!"
When the President recognized the
democratic Governor of Arkansa!
and the democratic Governor of Tex
as, and informed the republican
claimants for those places that they
must yield, we didn't hear single
howl about usurpation. The demo
Gratis commended the President. II,
hadn't exceeded his constitutions
powers a particle. Now listen, vii
you, when the tables are turned, anf
hear democratic tigers roar ahou