The Arizona sentinel., 1876-08-26


 He who reels and staggers most in the journey of life, takes the straigh test cut to the devil.
 In Bath Abbey. England is to be seen the following:
 Here lies Ann Mann,
 She lived an old maid and died old Mann
 The married ladies Ofa Western city have formed a Come home husband Club. It is about four feet long. and has brush on the end of it.
 A woman in Massachusetts fed a tramp the other day, after which he asked if he might go to bed long enough for her to wash and iron his shirt.
 The meanest man in Massachu- setts lives at New Bedford, The other day he borrowed dog to go shooting with, and kept him four days without anything to eat.
 It is said that to walk through all the aisles of the Centennial Exhibition buildings one must tra- vel seventy-twO miles. Visitors who do the thing thoroughly will have to take a second day for it. A Massachusetts girl had an attack of the lockjaw from using chewing gum. After the physi- clans had given her up, somebody called her "red-headed," and that cured her.
 At the end of an Indiana mar riage cerimOny, the bride advan- ced gracefully toward the clergy man and requested him to an- nounce the hymn. ''This is the way l long have sought"
 A west Virginian (evidently a yonng gentleman) asks for the pas sage of an ordinance against the wearing of thick veils. They are a nuisance to young men, distrOy ing all distinctions Ofpug and aQui line, race, color and previous con- dition.
 Doctor" said a lady to her physician, "don't you think the small bonnets that the ladies wear now a days have a tendency to produce congestion of the brain?'' "No madam; where you see one of those bOnnets there is no brain to congest.
 A farmer lost gimlet in the woods near Monticello, Minnesota, three years ago, and the other day cut down an irOn-WOOd tree, fast in the forks of which he found not the gimlet, but a three quarter inch auger! He is sorry he didn't wait a year or two lon- ger, as twO-inch auger was just what he wanted.
 When you reflect that at picnics 1 a hundred pears ago it was then | the custom for the girls to stand | up in a row and allow the men to kiss then all good bye, all this en- thusiasm about national progress seems to be a grave mistake.
 During an attack of "passenjair" the devil of h e CattarauguS 1 Union boiled over thus:
 "The devil ses Tn the editors chair, And thusly spoke to the cOmpositeir, Pick boys, pick with care;
 Pick, ye lazy compositair.
 And pi, pi, pi if ye dare;
 Pi ID the presence of the editair
 If you wish to hear m cuss'n swear; Then pick boys pick with care"
 St. Lous RepubLecGn: We have tried almost every plan with these internal Indians but marrying them. Will Dr. Mary Walker immolate herself on the altar of hard tack and mess pork and an- mex Sitting Bull or one of his young men? Her example would be bright and shining light to thousands of the surplus sister hood who are wasting their Vir- gin sweetness against the wall.
 Says an Eastern exchange: The heat is very intense A man who carries potato in his pocket as a sovereign preventive against rheu- matism, came into town yesterday to do some trading and when passing through Court street in the afternoon he found the vege- table had sprouted and thrown a vine about eight inches long out side of his pocket. In the branch es were found his jack. knife, a small box Of matches, a milk tick ct and a part of a plug of tobacco.
 HURRAH FOR THE OLD MAIDS. The New York Le6ger comes to the rescue of old maids as follows: "shriveIed and withered you say they are : Men and women grow old and grow gray, whether mar
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