Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-05-31
CHIPS.

CHIPS.
Three Democratic fossils actually
voted against the amendment striking
the word "white" from the constitu-
ton i'm the Connecticut House of Rep
resentatives, The other day. a,t
Mississippi physicians are becom-
ing alarmed at the prevalence of snuff
chewing among the women in that
locality. II is destroying not only
their health but their offspring.
A Hartford Conn landlady saved
the life Of a Democratic statesman
and member of the Legislature, the
other night, by rousing him after he
had blown out the gas in his sleeping
room and gone to sleep.
i The lawyers of Ireland are indig-
! nant at barrister who advertises in
the newspapers. The ancient eti-
quette of the legal as of the medical
profession is to starve rather than
publish ones business. As a result
some of them do starve. H
A clergyman in Newark, N. j., who
/. has been in the habit of purchasing
unlawful beverages and cigars on
Sunday in order to prosecute the
dealers on Monday, finds that his
clerical brethren do not by any mean.
indorse his method Of obtaining evil
dence.
, "Ma, does pa kiss the cat z" "Why,
no, my son. What in the name of
goodness put that into your head p
, "Cos when pa came down stairs this
morning he kissed Sarah in the hall
way, and said, That's better than kis-
sing that old cat up stairs, ain't il,
Sarah ?'"-NeW Orleans Picayune.
A cool young gent, all of the mod
ern days, entered u menagerie with a
cigar in his mouth, when the propri-
, etor politely requested him not to
, teach the other monkeys bad habits.
The young man proved himself equal
to the occasion by producing his
cigar-case and saying, "Try one"
There is delicate and at the same
time very keen and subtle perception
, of female character in the remark OF
candid observer, who told us the
, other day that woman's exclama.
ton of "OuchW very often means
"Do it again. '-Brooklyn Argus.
The Turks, Arabs and Persians al
the Centennial have received such
overwhelming attentions from the
Quaker City gamins that many OF
them have discarded their pictur-
. osque national costumes aud donned
the sombcr uniform OF civilization.
Which 'ud be the biggest lie ~
:. asked Father Tom of the Pope, eff
said ] seen turkey-cock lying on the
: broad ov his back and picking the
stars ov the sky,or if was to say that
] seen a gander in the same interestin
posture, raycreating himself wild sim
liar Astronomical experimental
A cunning book agent has been d.
q vulging the secrets of his success.
He says when he went to house and
r middle-aged lady appeared, he al.
= ways said, 81 beg your pardon. miss
wish to see your mother" The lady
+ would smile, and say she was mistress
S of the house, and rarely failed to
b subscribe for book,
, An Eastern paper having had con-
siderable to say about raising chick
ems by hand" the Galveston NeUs
, responds: "Such information is not
needed at the South. The whole col
ored population kHoW how 10 do Ii,
and in enteIprisfng freedman can
raise more pullets in single night,
going home from prayer meeting,
than that editor could raise i'm a yea i
with all his scieHee;"
Towanda, Pa, sign reads thus
"John Smith-teacher of cowtillions
and other dances-gramar taut in the
I neetest manner-fresh salt herin on
draft-likewise Godfrey's cordial
rutes sassage and other garden truck
IN. B. A bawl on friday Mite
, prayer meetin' chuesday also saline
: singin BY the quipc."
!, The Philadelphians have Joined in
, the demand for lower railroad fares.
Heretofore it has not occurred to
them that they were interested in the
question, but weeks experience
with the Exhibition has Taught them
among other things, that visitors
would have more money to leave
with the local extortionists if the
f fares were not so high.
. Some old fraud says, "Get up with
the sun If you want to ba healthy and
WISE 1t is easy enough to follow
this advice in the winter, when the
sun acts sensibly, and doesn't get up
until seven o'clock but when he COM
mences to get up at four o'clock, we
have observed that the wisest men
give him abont two hours the start,
and let their wives accumulate health
and wisdom. Herald.
They tell good one on a bald
headed-very bald-headed-gentle-
man, we won't mention any names or
localities. Suffice that he was on the
U. p. Something perplexed him Che
might have been-welI, no matter),
and he scratched Unfortunately among
the few hairs on the lower back part
of his head A herder from Texas
sat behind him and watched the
scratching with much interest, i'm fact
until his excitement became such that
he could no longer remain. quiet, and
he burst out with, "Say, my friend.
drive 'em up on the clearing, and you
can corral the whole outfit, you bet"
| -NOnpdreH.
A fellow, billing himself in the
towns and registering himself as
John B. Cough, has been delivering
temperance lectures in NnrthWe stern
Iowa. At first it was suspected that
lie was an impostor, MitsWhen he told
the Niagara story and jumped up in