Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-10-14
RUNNING THE MINISTRIES PAR
ROT.
Showing How Blessed it is Sometimes
To Return Good for Evil.


who never gets home till after midnight,
and he has Il neighbor who is a clergy
man. possessing II parrot that has Il voice
like planning mill. This parrots cage is
hung out about daybre;lk, and just rs the
long suffering editor is getting his first
sleep, and dreaming that he has scOoped
all the other papers OH Il big Indian bat
tie, the parrot gives 4 warwhOOp tina.
makes all the windows in the ward rat
tie, and then goes off into series of
shrieks, whistles, and yells enough to
turn the milk sour Ill Cicero and set the
teeth of a hand saw on edge. The per-
fOrmance lasts till about nine o'clock, and
whenever it shows any signs OF tagging
the clergyman comes out and with an al
mond orsa lump of sugar stimulates the
accused bird to new frellZies.
At least this is how things used to be-.
They are changed now. One evening in
June, when the editor went home to
dinner, his wife said:
George. have some news for YOU"
-Ah, my love, is it eXclusive?"
Our neighbors are going away for the
summer to Perry Springs"
Il hope they are going TO take that
parrot with them"
No: and what do you think They
had the impudence to come and ask it we
would take care OF the bird for them
while they were gone. Did you ever:
I'd like to wiring It's neck for them while
they are gone"
4 smile that was horrible to see illu.
minated the editors face as he Missed, in
Il low. concentrated voice.
NV dear. we should always try and
return good for evil. l will take care OF
that bril-"
Next tlay the minister went away and
the editor set himself assiduOusly to
train the parrot III the way he should
90 He had Il room padded and the walls
deadered. and he hung the cage up in
it. Then he went and hired two a. ID.
Il. messengers and bought horse syr-
inoe and water barrel, and installed
the boys in charge OF the parrot. My
sons he said, ''little parrots that
shouldn't sing, and will sing, must be
made not to to slug. Whenever that bird
lets off screech, just syringe him with
ice water
The boys carried out the instructions
so faithfully that in less than week the
bird was rs silent as the tomb.
Aha" said the editor, Ibis mind is
now 'tabula rosa and prepared to re-
ceive proper instructions. He must now
be taught; and first L shall attend to his
musical education" tfg f-
Accordingly he hired a man from a
variety show on canal street to teach that
parrot to whistle all the popular airs of
the day. Then the vocalist taught that
parrot all the cries of the street pedJlers,
and how to swear i'm fine print without
the use of glasses.
Now" said the editor, triumphantly,
''f can teach him the value of time
shall be we'll repaid" -
By dint of syrinsing the bird with ice
water when he offended and comforting
him with almonds. he reduced the bird
to the status of feathered alarm clock
set to 90 off with unerring regularity at
l1:3O p. NJ and 1920 A. NJ, and warranted
not to run down until the whole per-
Torrance had been gone through with
according to programme. The parrots
education had cost him heap of money
and much trouble, but he did not regret
it. -l. -e,flr.
a week ago yesterday the minister re-
turned by the 7:30 p. VI. train, and re-
ceived his precious bird. The editor
went home on the half past ten car, lit
his cigar. opened the window. and with
calm smile of expectancy, listened. The
clock had just struck half past III. when
there came yell of "Fire!, that proba-
bly, startled everybody in the block ex-
cept the editor.
Lie still. my love-" he said calmly to
his wife, lit is only the parrot. There is
no danger"
The fearful cry was repeated. aud the
editor heard sounds as if the minister
and all his family were jumping out of
bed, then the windows were opened on
all sides, and he had the pleasure of see
ing the man who kept the key OF the
signal box land wasn't insured) tear
along the street i'm his slippers and turn
in an alarm. A few minutes afterward
the fire bells rang, the engines came
tearing up to the house, whence the
shouts of Fire J" were issuing.
The minister had to go down and ex-
plain, and one of the drivers remarked
2udibly that he'd punch the old snoozer's
head off tor nickel.
Meanwhile the parrot kept on yelling
.'Police :" Fire" ''Ripe peaches, FIT
teen cents peck ~ s'Stror!" "Appools ~
xnd the like till about 2:15 A. N. The
editor, with sweet smile, fell asleep,
leaving word to call him at 10.
1t was the blessed Sabbath-a bright
sunny morning. The street was crowded
with church-goers. A number OF dea-
cons had called to welcome their pastor
home and conduct him to the church.
The parrot had been doing on his perch
III the sun, but as the church bells. one
after another. began To chime he began