The Hawaiian gazette., 1876-02-23
arieIy.

Variety
Ab.l A.bi, to get iuto--A coat that i. not paid
fr
whsnA maah. a, death. aoor he i. aP, to step
out.
Hsisa million dollar, will make pug nose bcaa-
ural
We knew au about shooting stars. bot Oflcn for
get that thi. sorii q ours Is a revolver.
Iu Clir5 they have named their champion baseball
eluJ the Qui Nine.
Why the cleansing Of the Augean stables like a
pisse of ancient Mexican POtterywarsf Because it
was su Aztec Kind Of jgb.
'' You haven't opened your mouth during the whole
tcssian." said n. P. TO a fellow member. "0h :
ys. have was the reply :" ya~ned through the
whole Of your speech
gu.z has been out sner ducks aud SAYS he would
ssaI rather saoot at 4 bird the wing than when
SIS s,il because 10 the former case. there's pyssibi-
isy. yga kaov. 0f is aying in front Of the shot
Right in the shadow Of the honest miikmau.
mean spirited cyuie sits and says " Thirteen million
usa ia this country assist to color the water
flr which the average American citizen pays
llzrt
What DO you know Of the character Of this man 9,
Va. zrked Of witness IN court the other day. -
Ensr ii to be un5eaehsble your honor" replied the
vi.aess wi,h much emphasis.
Is that friend Of yours - asked a gentleman
pointing toward party who sailing rapidly
dsuu the street. =" Cau't tell you till next satur-
day.. returned the individual addressed, ' I've just
leaned him S5.7--Brooklya Argue.
As to opening OYSTERS % said Old Hurricaue
why, uothiugs easier. if you only know how"
" And h0w's h0EG7 inquired Straight. - Scotch
suuE." answered Old Hurricane. very seuteutiously
e. Scotch Snuff; bring little Of it their
noses aud they viii sneeIe their lids off,
The laIiest man in the city resides on Green street
Himself and si1 others il saloon the other
night 70 draw straws see who the LATEST one.
Bot vhsn the Green street man was reached he re-
fused draw. the ground that be too lazy to
reach out aud make AZ sfort.-Albasy Pot.
Really my dear" said poor Mr.. JoDe. to hi. bet
ter half. you have sadly disappointed me.
considered you a jewel Of = woman, but you have
turned out only BIT Of matrimonial paste " Then.
my love- the reply, console yourself with the
idea that paste j. adhesive. and will stick to you
a. long As you live
.sleepiu' Toaald p said Highlander to a drowsy 1
seguaiutsnoe. who was ruuinating on the grass in
horizontal position. No. Tuncan." was the ready. 4
&" Thsu, Touald, would you lend me ten sbilling'" 4
~ he next question. q" 0ugh, ougb = vas the .
rs.Pouss. With 3 heavy snore; &" I'm sleePin' moo.
TeueEH. ny lad"
The following letter from young man was lately
addressed 10 Judge Of Probate .Sir.-My father
departed tbs lie not long hence. lssEing wife and
Eve scorpions. He died ds,ested and his estate Is
lsey 20 prove insolvsnt was let eEecutioner. and
bsug toa you &c Of reprobates, apply to
you ior letters Of condemnation"
a Dovn-Easter. while travelling through the
West happened on one Of its representative
keepers Of whom be asked what could be furnished for
sinuer- Anything from . sniPe to elephant"
vas the reply. L viii take a piece Of elephant"
said Do~u-E Easter. e You will have to take whole
oae.'' vus tbe rejOinder we never cut them"
A Syrian eouvsr, 70 Christianity vas urged BY his
suFoysr T. work o. Sunday. but be declined. "But"
said the master. doth your Bible say that if
man bat an OK or an ass that falls into pit on the
sabbath day he may pull him outG' Yes" an
tverea Hsyop. b1t L the has habit Of falling
into the sane PIT every sabbath day, then the uaa
rhssid either G., Up the pit or sell that ass"
EANas 4 NNnt new bunker eAl4 y kill-
A new Buuksr Hill What under the sun is thAtH''
Whv thats the name Of the latest fall style Of bon
net ~Is saf Why do they call it that - a oh.
iuat know. psps." Well. what does il cost p
0tly $ss." e Oh. see new Why they call it Bunk
ss HHI.7 p Why. pupaF' 'sBseauss il is 50 high"
a O., ysa. yog horris. dear papa There"
Assrids a log sat sAu.sHd another sinner. engaged
iu a litsis game q ssves-uP. when minister aP-
preached, VIE. after a'uonsut's solemn eontsnPls-
tos c the gars laid bis hszdu upon sa@Gcls should
sr, aad ssia; "Ny,friead. is that the way to save
your toulg' Perhaps not," answered sam, who,
haFiar 5uss played card. siteutsvely consider
ing his had. perhaps not but il seeas about the
bsst ;hing oaa DO 70 save ny Jack"
he otter day. Detroiter (ssys the Free Prsss)
took hone beck eo0taisng several anecdotes sho~-
ing he power u imagination. and. sftsr reading
tAsz T. lis wife. be isadsry said Now Angelins-
yoS nay so1s day imagine that yea hear ne kissing
tas se-Eaztgri n he other RON. and you see bOE
b4ss il Wouid be tu accuse OF such a thing
" jean Hsnr!. sbs replied in a smooth FOise. eff
sFsr imagine Iash thing. yoaH need doctor With
il eitsss Hinutss, matter What that beck says"