The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-02-09
CURIOUS ANECDOTES ABOUT WE'D
DINGS.

ing summoned to his parlor, and found
there couple who wished to be married.
The groom was typical :'Bowery boy"
- and the bride woman some years his
senior, who locked As though her temper
might have been soured by long superin'
tendence of milliners' apprentices. No
objection appearing on the questioning of
the minister, the couple stood up togeth-
er and the service was begun. The first
part Of it went off smoothly, but when it
came time for the bride to reply to the
question, ''Wilt thou take this man. etc,
she replied mo, l WON'T" There was
sudden pause, some hurried question
ing and expostulation by the astonished
groom, which effected nothing more than
reiteration Of the brides refusal, and
the outraged clergyman, in dignified and
buke and showed the party to the door.
again, and the same couple appeared.
The groom; no way abashed, explained to
the clergyman that he had made up the
quarrel between himself and the lady, aft.
er considerable coaxing, and had pre-.
- vailed on her to return and be married.
The clergyman hesitated, but at length
consented, and the service was again be-
gun. When the groom was asked,
''Wilt thou take this weman," ETC., he
replied, most emphatically, "No, won't.
It's my turn now The bride burst into
tears at this unexpected sign Of pluck in
the man she had fondly hoped to rule,
and the clergyman, fairly incensed,
turned them out of the house with scant
ceremony. An hour later they returned.
and the groom explained that he had
made up with the lady, and they had fin
ally determined to be married, and have
no more nonsense about it. The clergy
man consented this time with alacrity,
and the groom responded to the qucs-
tons asked with satisfactory promptness,
and the lady performed her part with
dignity and ease. When he came to the
last part Of the ceremony, however, the
clergyman said, cts my turn now.
will not pronounce you man and wife.
You may go somewhere else to get mar.
RED" And the tickle couple, after their
third attempt, were turned away still
single.
While it is not common, fortunately,
for any such violent refusals to be heard,
it frequently happens that some one
blunders. It is seldom the bride, for
whether it be that women are more at
home in novel situation than are men,
g. or that they study up their parts with
more care, they generally know just what
to do and say. On.one occasion, however,
an Episcopal clergyman says he was per-
forming the marriage ceremony, and
~, + H.
take this man." ETC., she replied, II
will, and verify I thank God that he has
called me to this state.'' The answer
served all practical purposes, although it
was evident she had been studying the
wrong sacrament. Through eagerness or
excitement, the people who are icing
married often speak too soon or too
much, as once happened when a clergy.
man married couple who were appar-
emily country people who had come to
= the city to be married. Both seemed
elated, and their manner toward each
other was remarkably frank in its tender.
ness, and their impotence was as appar.
ent. When the clergyman began the all
important question to the groom, the
latter was so much in earnest that he re-.
sponded to each clause in it, so that it
assumed the form of conversation some
thing like the following: "Wilt thou,
John, take this woman, Sarah
eyes, ''to be thy true and lawful wife"
eyes, sir" 'to keep and to cherish
''Yes, sir ree.'' At the end of the ques-
ton s'till death do you part" he burst
out, 'You may just bet I will" The
clergyman was more annoyed than amused
. by the rustic's emphasis, but he fairly
laughed when, in response to the similar
question put to the bride, which she heard
through without interruption, she replied,
II won't have nothing else.''
A good story is told of newly appoin.
ted Justice Of the Peace in one Of the
Western States who was called on soon
after his accession to Office, to marry a
couple. He was bachelor and never
had been to wedding and had no form.
book which showed him just how to do
the thing properly. However there was
no one else within fifty miles who, as he
thought, could marry them, so he deter.
mined to try, and, having an eye to the
main chance, he looked for his fee in q
- novel manner, as he did not expect to
receive q large one, and, Judging from the
mans appearance, felt doubtful Of get
ting any. He began by swearing the
groom: ''Put your right hand on the
Bible. You DO solemnly swear that the
evidence1you shall give in the case Of
Robert Jones against Mary Smith shall
be the truth, the whole truth, and moth.
ing but the truth. so help you God.
Kiss the book and pay me one shilling.''
The groom, somewhat surprised, did this,
and the Squire proceeded: "Will you