The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-09-08

An iIliterate minister preaching on the
Prudigal Son, and attempting to describe
| the anxiety of the father, put IL thus:
| "W ell, after the boy was gone the ola
man got oneaSy about him, and wanted
| TO hear from his son. The Bible don't
| give all the particulars, but l feel sale
| in saying, and in my imagination L can
see MIN going TO the post-Ot1ce, day
after day, every time the mail came In;
but he didn't get sign OF letter, not
even postal card"
England expects every man to do his
| Jury duty. At the London Central
Criminal Court man recently at
tempted to beg off on the score of deaf
fness, but the judge sternly rebuked him.
| He took his place with the eleven, sat
| through three cases, heard never word
| that was said, and wrote out verdict in
each instance. Now let the dumb law
yer come TO the Iront.
Two men were angrily disputing in
front of the Post-o1ice yesterday. One
said: "You're blear-eyed, beer-be-
guZzled Dutchman" The other said:
"Vell, by shorge, you vas nottlngs, you
vas q tam pig nottings, shoost like
shoost like a-a-pig crow scare, b.
shorge, mid oud any stut1n."
At recent funeral In ChicOpee, the
earth on one side OF the grave being
sandy, caYed, and one Of the pallbearers
having hold Of one end of lowering
strap, slid into the grave. The coffin
| fell on him, head dOWnwardS, and some
time was required to disentangle the
living from the dead.
| Danbury has the champion patient boy.
| He comes from chronIcaIIy borrowing
family. The other day he went to a
ne!ghbor's for cup of sour milk. "4
haven't got anything but sweet milk"
said the woman, pettlshly. "Pll wait
till it sours," said the obliging youth,
sinking into chair.
TRUE POLITENEsS. - Polite Youth
"EXcuse me, sir, but you've dropped
your cigar ash on your trousers" Crus.
ty Old Gent-"Well, sir, and what then
| You've had fusee burning in your
sleeve for the last quarter OF an hour,
and l never intertereu with you"
| Mrs. Nicholas Staeger, OF Honesdale,
Pa, went blackberryIng alone, but re-
turned with newborn babe on one arm
and full pail of berries on the other
She has not lost days work sipce the
birth of the child.
A Boston servant girl utilized the tel
egraph wire that passed over the HAT
rOOl Ol bu6 uOuSC lO1 q anu
every Monday the boys had deeply
scientific argument as to what allied the
chemicals.
After having written squib with
much care and deliberation, and the
dignitied compOsitor up stairs halloos
down the pipe: ''Is this joke or an ad.
VertisementW
A. clergyman said the other day that
modern young ladies were not daughters
of Shem and Ham; but daughters OF
Hem and Sham-compounds of plain
sewing and make-beiieYe.
When big wave comes dashing upor
the bathing beach at Cape May, il
creates a continuous female squeal oYel
one mile long.
If you don't hit the cat on the back
yard fence with the first peach stone yoI
throw at it, the trouble is you have tt
keep on eating peaches until you do.
"Science," said Dr.. Holmes, sis goot
piece Of furniture for man To have in al
upper chamber, provided he has commol
sense on the ground floor"
By sowing nitrate OF soda in small
quantities in showery weather undel
trees, most beautiful verdure will bt
obtained.
A st. Louis man ran six blocks aftei
his nose, thinking he was goiffg to a fire
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