Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1876-04-14
Job Work-CASH ON DELIVERY

at darkey auction.
When is a man not a man? When
he makes goose Of himself.
Cub, ge1tle sprig; ethereal bid
dess, cub. " Ah-kit-chew.
Thirty-four governments will bo
represented at Philadelphia.
Eggs in certain inaccessible parts
of Nebraska are 3 cents dozen.
If brokers wish to raise the wind
they should negotiate cyclone.
Ought to be allowed to sit down
A merchant Of forty years standing.
Dandies and nany.goats never fail
to pride themselves upon their kids.
Three Cabinet Ministers were
spelled down at a recent spelling
match in England.
The man who tried to borrow an
umbrella was given to understand
that it was Lent.
Charging n pretty girl penny for
crossing bridge is rather q quiet
way Of tolliug the belle.
Is there word in the English
language which contains all the VOW
vowels? Unquestionably.
Why are cents separated from dol
lars by point? 70 make sense, Of
course. Don't you see the point?
You cannot expect man to stand
when he has been knocked
down for making an erroneous state
ment.
Miss Bismarck is a plump brunette.
She is an expert in neddle-work and
has all the homely and honest Ger
man virtues.
Jones believes in policeman, and
thinks there are all square men,
"At any rate" he says, they are
never round
y bashful compositor refused to-
accept a situation in an office where
girls were employed, saying he "nev-
er set up with girl in his Hte.'
A Brooklyn girl is engaged to be
married to an Italian count and in
the course Of four or FIVE years she
may be looked for on the street with
a hand organ playing the usual tunes.
After play young Frenchman
said to his friend, II could play the
lover better than that myself" Size
replied, then why in heavens name
don't you ?'
"Aro you christian ?" asked one
Of Mr. Moody's assistants at an in
quiry meeting, Of hard looking Gus
toner who had taken front seat.
No." he answered, sadly, I'm
plumber 1t was hopeless case.
"Well, Pat said an indulgert
master to his coachman, who had Just
been describing the gIories Of st.
Patrick's day dinner, was your ap-
petite sated % "Sated, is it, yer
Honor? Sure, an it wasn't. 1t had
to shtand up along wild meself most
of the time.
1t takes thirty men a month to
make camel's hair shawl. But
love y woman never thinks of that az
she throws it over her shoulders and
asks her husband if it 10 oks we'll be-
hind.
A Detroit woman remarked that
she regretted but one thing in ler
life. She said she was always vcxed
that a tornado didn't strike the twen-
ty-two men who saw her fall on the
icy walk, claw around and get up
with lame back.
A rich contractor was holding forth
upon the instability of the world.
Can you account for it, sir?'' hs
asked, turning to Sam Foote. We'll,
not very clearly" he responded, "un-
less we suppose it was built by con-
tract"
The recent shower of flesh in Bath
county, Ky, has provoked quite a
religious revival among the colored
population there. They seat them
selves about in little groups, with
heir faces turned upward, as if the
heavens were full of mutton chops
md sing:
"Kum set yere, hungary niggah,
Kun set yere on the groun',
De LaWd he am gwine