The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1876-01-27
MISCELLANEOUS.

CIO7S IL.
What's in a name againi Mr.. Sylvia
nus Bump was landed on his head out
of his wagon at New Bedford, the other
day.
Laborers in the Michigan woods are
working for their board. That's what
the woods are for, we believe.
An Alternative-The legal course
which is open to England if the Kedive
don't pay his interests-Sue his canal.
The editor who was told that his last
article was as clear as mud. promptly
replied, "Well, that covers the ground,
anyhow"
Charles is mad because they have
stuck lamp post on his corner. Says
its none of the towns biz what time he
comes home nights.
A poor bugler-The young man who
had to take new horn for every call he
made on New Years Day.
So the Prince of Wales has arrived at
Benares. That indicates that he must
Benares journeys end, don't it2"
If you see man with big diamond
on his shirt-front, have him arrested.
It may not be Tweed, but it will serve
him right anyway.
What we need in this world, the New
port News thinks, is more female CORES
pondents who fling their::goIden CLEAN
ings over the sombre tints of life.
A Texan banking firm at Fall River
has suspended. The rumor is that a
cattle drover passed bad ten dollar
bill on them.
"Oh, we don't mind the fourth story"
said an Ohio Congressman's wife in
choosing Washington lodgings the other
day ''we can go up and down in the
ventilator.
'sNo, sir" said a weary looking man
on a street car to an individual by his
side. 81 wouldn't marry the best wo-
man alive. I've been dry goods clerk
to long for that"
affected with mental arrangement
incident to his employment in brew
ery,' is the San Francisco Calls descrip-
ton of a man who leaped from a fifth
story window.
Strange, isn't it, that while Kentucky
chooses Stone..for Speaker, Our State
Senate should propose Woodin man as
President pro tenn?
''A genuine poet, an exchange says,
sis always ahead of his age" And he
has very lonely time of it if there is
but genuine poets.
The President has no ear for music,
and the carelessness which he used to
take Babcock's flute to rake the fire with
was a constant menace to their friend
ship.
Detroit policemen don't seem to be
very good marksmen. ST want you
either to hit me or stop making such
blamed racket" said thief in that city,
at whom a policeman was shooting.
Rev. Fl. II. Murray has an article in
the Golden Rule, advocating lying in
bed in the morning, but there seems to
be no particular necessity for us to paste
it in our hat.
cit was Ben. Franklyn who introduc-
ed broom corn into the country" But
thousands of suffering husbands would
prefer to see the man who introduced
broom handles.
Mrs. Amy Rigg advertises in Texas
paper that she is able to lick either one
of the women she saw walking on her
husbands arm few nights before.
What an Amy-able woman she must be,
eh ?
GLOW are ye, Smith," said Jones.
Smith pretended not to know him, and
answered hesitatinGIy "Sir, you have
the advantage of me- eyes, I suppose
80. Everybody has that's got common
Horace Greeley's advice to $50 West"
was glaring swindle. The fact that
the Indians have been living West all
their lives are still poor, with scarcely
enough clothes to hide their nudity,
proves this.
A subscriber to Southwestern news
paper died recently, leaving four years
subscription unpaid. The editor appear
ed at the grave and deposited in the
coffin palm leaf fan, linen coat, and a
thermometer.
At Hawkinsville, Ga, recently, one
of the two conYicts in the Pulaski coun-
ty Jail tore out part of the wall and es-
capped, and the other complained bitterly
next day to the Sheriff that unless the
walls were mended so that he would be
kept warm he'd go too.
The latest from the prosecuted Won
Arnim that they propose, as a last re-
sort, in case he won't return, to try him
in contumacium, though, of course,
they'd prefer to try him in Berlin.
Ned and lack are sad topers-been
sad since 4th o'July last. n told q that
his nose was the last rose of Summer
q. retorted. 'taint blooming alone"
They left deal of ground plowed up,
and both noses are poulticed.
The Detroit Free Press, abiding to
our Jokes on the centennial Wash
Board," says, 'Hang up such puns
along with the shirts" Thanks for the
Is that the way you make