The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-11-22
Correspondence of the New York Sun. !
The Bust and the Brain.
Some Further Light on The Condition of
nGreat Humorist.

HARTFORD, Nov. 10.-The true story of the
destruction of Mark Twain's plaster bust of
Calvin has been go twisted and distorted by GER
tain newspapers that Mr. Clemens conduct is
placed in rather unpleasant light In Justice
to him consider it my duty, as the original
narrator of the facts, to give you the COM
plete and correct version of this unfortunate
affair
The bust of Calvin was wedding present to
Mr.. and Mrs. Clemens from pious clergyman
who had accompanied Mark Twain upon his
expedition to the Holy Land. The appropriate
gift was highly valued by both husband and
wife. The former always treated it with grave
reverence, and made point every spring and
fall of providing it with new silk hat of the
latest style. Calvin stood, not upon the man.
tel, but upon the centre table iu Marks study
What, therefore, was Mrs Clemens astonish-
ment, upon returning few weeks ago from a
brief visit to her fathers home, to find that in
her absence the cherished features of John CAL
vin had been ornamented by the addition of a
pair of spiral moustaches and fanciful goatee,
done in ink! The austere theologian now looked
like French barber.
Mark protested his innocence in the most
solemn manner, and neither blanched nor
blushed beneath the searching gaze of his in
dignant wife. 1T may have been the cat" he
suggested.
"Sam Twain Clemensl' replied the lady, j,
with animation, 'you are deceiving me. The
cat could never have done that shameful deed.
More likely it was Charles Warner. or that
10 Hawley, of some of those that have been
here carOusing while L was away. Now L wish
to know what has been going on in this
house,"
"Mark's explanation that the cat might have
jumped upon the table and dipped the end of
her tail in the inkstand, and thus accomplished
the work of destruction, was thrust aside as
contemptibly inadequate,
IAN improbabilty isn't an impossibility,"
muttered Mark.
"No, Samuel Clemens, nor is this house a
place for wild carousings and sacriegiousness,"
was the logical and conclusive rejoinder
The next day Twain tried to throw the blame
on Prot. Huxley, and the day after that he ad-
mitted in confidence that Bob Ingersoll was
the real culprt. But as he was unable to show
that either Prof. Huxley or Bob Ingersoll had
been entertained at the Clemens mansion dur
ing the absence of its mistress, the explaua-
tions were sterny rejected as miserable subter-
fuges.
The subject was not recurred to again, but
the besmeared face of John Calvin remained in
Marks study, silent accuser, a dumb yet ter
rible witness.
In vain Clemens tried to scrape off the NOUS
tache. In vain he endeavored to erase the goa
tee with the blade of his penknife. Scrape deep
as he migqt the ink went deeper still, and the
only result of his efforts was to make Calvin's
face more ghastly than ever. More awful yet
was the expression which would come over
Mrs. Clemens face as shH pointed to the bust,
and by looks more Significant than words re-
minded her wretched husband of the mysteri-
GUS proceedings that mus have occurred in the
establishment during her absence.
1t was about this time that John Calvin dis
appeared A week later he was accidentally
| discovered buried beneath several tons of hay
in the stable loft, and was rescued and restored
| to his place ON the study table. Mark denied
all knowledge Of the abduction. The next day,
however, Calvin was again gone, and not until
| the favorite pipe of the great humorist had
! been seized and held as hostage did the
| theologian reappear.
All this was wearing on the mind of my
| friend Clemens. Perhaps it was the accusing
| voice of guilty conscience-perhaps it was the
| weight of unjust suspicions-that made him
moody, fretful and morose. 1t was now that
| he went into politics, with the sad results mar
| rated in a previous letter. 1t was now that he
began to say strange things and do still strang-
| er. 1t was now that it began to be whispered
about Hartford that once powerful intellect
| was neutrality-suspicious. tottered.
When l visited Clemens on the 18th of last
| month the morbid horror with which he had
come to regard the haunting countenance OF
| John Calvin had worked itself into desperate
| recklessness, and it was in my presence that he
| seized the tongs and smashed the eminen,
| theologian into thousand little pieces. This
| is the whole story