Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-10-21
A SILENT BENEFACTOR.


Winter from rheumatism in his l!reast
and his wife was badly frightened
about it should end in consumption
Cooley could not be induced to tsy any
remedy for the trouble, and Mrs
Cooley was nearly worried to s1eatt
aboutit Atlast she determined I'd dworl
strategy: She made up dry mustard
plaster, snd one night while hd was
sound asleep she sewed it upon Il in.
side of his undershirt, so that it Tould
just about cover the rheumatic tlace.
Cooley dressed himself in the morsling
wholly u1suspicious of the prese1tce Of
the plaster, and went down stairsi AT
the breakfast table; while he wasitalk-
ing to his wife, he suddenly stofped,
looked cress-eyed and spasm of spain
crossed his face. Then he took UP the
thread of the conversation again and
went on. He was in the midst Of an
explanation of the political situas lion,
when all at once he ceased again, grew
red in the face, and exclaimed:
II wonder what in the-no, it |an't
be anything wrong"
Mrs. Cooley asked him what was the
matter, and Cooley said: .
"Oh, it's that Internal old rhe,sma-
tism again-come back awful. But I
never felt it exactly the same wah be-
fore. Kinler stings me-"
Mrs. Cooley said she was sorry,
Then Nh. Cooley began again, and
was just SLOWING how the ravagea of
grasshoppers in the West, last Sumlher,
and the potato bug in the East, wduld
affect the political result next Fall by
making the people discontented, And
SO likely to.stike at the party in power.
when he suddenly dropped the alb-
just, and, jumping up, said:
"Thunder and lightning, whtt's
that? Ouch! o Moses! I feels i I
had shovelful of hot Goals inside my
shirt"
Must be that rheumatism, getting
worse" said Mrs. Cooley, sympathetic
ally. -;
"Oh, gracious, no! It's something
worse than rheumatism. Feels IKE
fire burning into my skin. Ouch! Qw-
wow-wow! It's awful. I can't stand
it a minute. I believe it's cholera, Tor
something, and I'm going to die"
"Do try to be calm, Mr.. Cooley"
"Calm! How can o man be calm
with a volcano under his shirt. Get
out of the way quick, while go up
stairs and undress. Murderer-r-1r
but it hurts. Let me get out quick. !"
Then he rushed up to the bedroom,
and stripped off his clothes. His chfst
was the color of a boiled lobster; llut
he couldn't, for the life of him, tell
what was the matter. Then his eyes
rested upon something white on bis
shirt. He picked up the garment aid
examined it. Ten minutes later he
came slowly down stairs, with q dry
mustard plaster in his hand, while
thunder clothed his brow.>
Going up to Mrs. Cooley, he shofk
the plaster under her nose, and safl,
in suppressed voice:
Did l., you put that thing in ny
ct did it for the best, Mr.. Cooley +"
she said. "I thought"
"Oh, never mind what you thought,
you idiot! Never mind what yku
thought. You've taken the skin cleAr
off my bosom, SO that I'm as raw asl Ia
sirloin steak. and I'll probably nevl.r
be well again as long as I live. Thlt
let's you out. You play any mote
tricks like that on me, and I'll put you
in the coal-bia, and keep. you there till
Won starve tn death Now mind mes"
Then he slammed the door, ard
went out. Mrs. Cooley dosen't kno.v
to this day what effect the grasshof-
pers are going to have on the Fall elef-
tions