Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-10-06
Spending the Honeymoon at the 0enten-
NAL Exhibition.

cannot recover q ~ .t tt'Hf 4
Spending the Honeymoon at the 0enten-
NAL Exhibition. -
Do you imagine Lam planning to tell
you anything about the Exhibition.
No, indeed. At least not now; but am
compelled, by a profound sense of duty,
to beg all the recently welded not to en-
deavor to become acqnainted With the
Exposition and with each other at the
same time. II is too great task. One
or the other will remain alien, and alto
gether strange; possibly both. 1t is the
most trying ordeal for a human brain
that has ever been invented, and as a de-
stroyer of the nervous system it may be
depended upon most confidently. That
is, if visitor seriously endeavors to get
sight of one-tenth of the various inter-
esting objects within the limits of a
honeymoon, he OF she will go mad.
BY the way, that aforementioned meas
urement of time has come to be very
indefinite period Of days. 1t was only
this evening that / heard through the
thin partition of our hotel land they are
just frail enough not to see through
them) that which proved to, me that q
moon, which should have been sweet,
because it was evidently new the day
before, had reached its last quarter in
side of twenty-four hours.
A low soprano voice said "Ffeddy
dear, you haven't told me how you liked
the arrangement of my hair yesterday.
The new barber, who is just IN town,
dressed it for me-"
"Indeedn answered bass voice;
''then the new barber belongs to the
Idiot tribe, for, to tell you the plain
truth, your hair looked like the deuce,
and my aunt all the way from Newport
to see it, too. wish she had stayed at
home, and sent on her blessing and her
teapots and berry spoons by express,
and not looked you over in such scieRtific
manner. l know just what she thought
of you by the squint of her eyes She
said to herself; Good figure, but a
trifle too plump. Color wants toning
done with powder Pleasant eyes, good
teeth, voice so-soish, no style, and not
very rich, if ingram carpets and dingy
hair-cloth sofas may be trusted to tell
the story Her hair is really handsome,
but looks like an animated wasp's nest.
When she visits me, my maid shall over
throw that structure before any of my
set get a look at it. If girl be-
longs to the country, why don't she
have things that are natural to her
locality and position, and not put a
matronly French head upon a young viii
lage girl? i'll were Fred, would tumble
the intricate thing down and keep to sim
plicity l am sure he didn't fall in love
with the girl when she was topped off
in that style Crying? Why, you poor
little duckl l didn't mean to set you
swimming so soon, and there was no need
of my telling you at all, but you asked
me about the hair just at the wrong time.
That Internal Exhibition is too big, and
has too many things in it that fellow
imagines he must see or die inside of
week. l wish l had stayed at home.
Don't cry; that is a dear girl"
No-b-b-body wanted your stuck-up
old aunt to c.c-come to the wedding I
d-d-didn't like her any m-m-more than
she did me- She l-llooked like an old
sh sh-she peacock, so she did. She
.pranced round as if sh-sh-she owned
the whole village. l d-d-don't want her
plated tea-pots and be- be berry spoons.
I've got real silver ones which were my
own mothers. I'll never g-g-go to her
house, so she needn't w-w-worry about
my hair. didn't buy it. That is one
thing that sh-sh-she can't say"
"Why, you poor, tired, but plucky
little woman, l didn't know you had
such a temper, and don't believe you
did have it until we worried ourselves
all out trying to see everything from
Greenland's icy mountains
To India's coral strand
in one short day. Let's forgive each
other. Don't cry, and let US forget all
about the hair and my aunt, that's a
sweet girl. My head aches, my eyes
ache, my back aches, my feet are blis-
tered, am hungry, and you are trying
to make my heart ache, and only the. sec
ond day, too"
"You began it, but if you want to,for-
give me you can do it just when you
like" 4
"No, no, dear, / didn't do any such
thing 1t was the Exposition that started
the quarrel. If you'll overlook what
said, pll promise to sit on the balcony of
the grand conservatory at least one-half
the time tomorrow, listen to the music,
and to you, and look at the flowers, and
the park, and
Where every prospect pIeases,
And only man is vile.n iggma
Added the appropriated bride quickly:
My head is in a whirl of India rugs,
furniture, Japanese lacquer, Italian
carvings, the little boy in marble who
did not want to say his prayers, acres of
pictures, Corliss engine, washing-ma-
chimes and an alto rsIieg0 head of some
woman or other nodded in butter and
kept ON ice, fog-bell that sounds as if
there was perpetual weekday prayer
meeting or an everlasting funeral and
now your aunt has rushed into my mind
to set me quite crazy"
heard kiss or two, grooming and
soothing sort of sound from the bass
voice, woman sobbing out her anger
and WEAKNESS preparatory to resuming
smiling good nature, AID ! pitied the
poor young man because he couldn't cry
and rest himself after the wearisome
day Just as the bride was doing, under
his petting and comforting love and COM
passion.
By and by heard gurgling little
cough and halfhysterical and half
merry voice exclaim: -.st.,
"If was to marry again hundred
bAAhSo npdlh hNNNA ~ w a OSAeNhAAoA
Exposition to spend the first week of
married lifep aglhiia si "a
Have you arranged any other plan
except this for your next weddingH"
mockingly asked the last voice, knew
that he wanted to inquire if she had en-
gagged the same barber, but he did not.
Her temper and her wit were too much
for him TO encounter when he was all
worn out with the Exhibition and the
scramble for life TO get anywhere ana re-
turn back again, Possibly he may con-
clude that this warfare of tongues will
not be too safe at any time in the future,
and viii look back upon Philadelphia as
the blessed place which opened his eyes
as to the only path Of safety through the
hitherto unknown branches of matTimo-
ny PhilGdelphiG Cor, GAieago Times.