Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-08-12

belonged 10 0lS son IN time, II ne mao
not fallen into such an egregious errol
about old Leonard.
So the world moves on. People are
prone to think that what they smile on
lives, and what they frown on is blighted
and must die.
THE CHAMPION SCHOOL TEACHER.
In one of the townships of a neigh.
boring county there have been recently
some complaints about the ineficiency
of a teacher in a public school named
Weaver, and short time ago the Board
of Supervisors, having collected some
facts concerning his method of instruc-
ton, summoned him before them, and
the President examined Weaver in re.
ference to the matter. He said:
"Mr. Weaver, the Board is not salts.
fed entirely with your way of impart.
ing instruction to the youthful mind,
and we called you before US to-day to
ascertain what the general drift of your
purpose was on certain occasions that
have come under our notice, when you
have been giving the boys what you
seem to have considered useful informa-
ton upon variety Of topics. For in
stance, Mr.. Weaver, in teaching the
history class, we feel compelled to take
exceptions to your views when you as
sert that Benjamin Franklin was shot
at the battle Of Agincourt, and that Ne
buckadnezzar was king of Italy, and
played the fiddle while Quebec was
burning. You may possibly have later
information upon those topics than has
reached the rest of us, but the COM
munity is prejudiced against these views.
and they make you unpopular"
II don't recollect saying that" said
Weaver, "but just as likely as not I
may have said Agincourt instead of
Waterloo and got Nebuchadnezzar
mixed up with William the Conquerer.
I was sick that day and my mind didn't
work right, somehow"
"And besides, Mr.. Weaver, we feel
as if we ought to direct your attention
to the fact that you were wrong when
you instructed the class in grammer
that Martin Van Buren is an adverb
and that the word hungry is q personal
pronoun. These mistakes are serious
enough, but when you fogged scholar
because lie insisted that sbucolic' was
not an intransitive proposition and that
it did not represent q species of stomach
ache, it seems to the Board that you
went q little too far"
eft wasn't for that I whipped him,
said Mr.. Weaver; sit was because he
put pin in my chair. I was only in
fun about those things. I knew well
enough Martin Van Buren, was an ad-
jective."
"Well, sir, that may or may not be .
satisfactory explanation. But the Board
would be glad to know your authority
for the statement that Garibaldi was q
Saracen who fought against the Cru
saders; and that he received his name
from the fact that he was bald-headed ?
You see the parents of the children
complain about this kind of thing. They
don't like it. They say it poisons the
minds of the little ones, and it makes
parents mad"
"Pm sorry" replied Weaver, but I
hold these views conscientiously, and
I'm going to stick to them"
"But such o theory will hardly avail
to explain why you asserted to the class
in arithmetic that vulgar fractions are
so called because only blackguards used
them, and why you made MIR. Coyle's
boy 60 down to the foot for saying there
was only two halves to an apple. The
community is indignant at these things,
sir, and when they learn that you taught
those little innocents to spell dog
d-a-w-g, I am seriously afraid that pub
lie sentiment will be strongly in favor
of having recourse to violent measures.
Now you certainly know that there is no
respectable authority for spelling the
name of that useful animal d.a-w-g. It
is preposterous. It shows q want of
proper sense of the fitness Of things,
now don't it?"
"WelI, maybe it does. But Ill tell
you. Everybody spells dog the other
way, dog, and it struck me that it
would be good idea for my scholars to
start out on q fresh, original basis; to
get up something new and startling and
refreshing in the dog line, and 90 I
threw d-a-w-g out as kind of an idea
mere suggestion, you understand,
without intending to insist upon it.
But don't mind coming down on that,
I will give it to them the old way if you
insist upon it."
"Very we'll. But while we are going
over the matter permit me to urge that
you could have had no respectable au-
thority for telling the school that Omaha
is the capital of Mexico and that the
Revolutionary war began in 1919; and
still less is there any warrant for your
assertion to the pupils in history that
the middle name of General Wash
ington was McGrath-George McGrath
Washington. This sort of education of
the infant mind attracts attention and
excites remark. It brings ridicule upon
the sacred name of the Father of his
Country, and leads the children astrsy
respecting the geographical location Of
Omaha. Its wrong sir-all wrong; and
the Board can't put up with it.
"Well, tho way I come to do that, I
spose," said Weaver, "was that I used
to know . man by tho name OF George
Washington McGrath, and I must have
confused him with the other one. And
as for Omaha, I II bet you it's in Mexi-
CO, or Siam, or Siberia, or some Of them
DlacAs. now isn't itY