Litchfield enquirer., 1876-06-15
CIIPPlM CS.

The man who works with will the pro- bate judge.
 Pluck will carry a man where a palace car will not. A truism: An expensive wife makes a pensive husband.
 The obituary of book agent says: "He was man of marked composure of man. ner. ttfg #tI Crusty says that the list of marriages in the newspapers ought to be put under the head of "Ring Frauds"
 It is the experience of every self-made hen that she must scratch for living.
 When you wind up a watchit goes on; when you wind up company it doesn't. The chap who insinuated that croquet was game for lawn-dresses, must have been for-lawn sort of fellow. '+-S'
 A bald-headed man peddling hair re- storer was the confusing spectacle pre- sented to Danbury in the past week.
 A dangerous rival to the editor of the Chicago Times has been .djseevered m Rhode Island man who has been lying in one position for nine years. E 7 < E-E Another conscientious man is opposed to opening the Centennial Exhibition on Sunday. He says Sunday is the only day he gets time to go fishing. .s-.. !. = The entire assets of @ recent bankrupt were nine children. The creditors acted magnanimously, and let him keep them. "Be iabbers!" says Pat, who was born on the last day of the year. "Had I de- layed bit. where would I been.'' | A Detroit florist is getting up Ca lan- gpage of vegetables" If you hit a man with turnip that means: 1T don't think much of your relatives way back for seven generations"
 An editor we'll known in the vicinity of Irvington NY, 8 very religious sort of a chap, awoke in church last Sunday morn- ing, and yelled cut: D. it, more copy"
 "Vill you dake sumding?" said Ger man teetota1er to friend, while standing near tavern. "I don't care if do. was the reply. "Vell, den. let us talk walk {"
 Judge-."Have you anything to offer to the court before sentence is passed on you?" Prisoner-'No, judge; had BIO, but my lawyers took that" 7 After-dinner criticism: Guest (who has had pleasant evening, will just have a look at his hosts pictures before he goes) I-"Yesh-hic-'like tha' picsshre! Fl' landsch'pe Like the treesh! Branches wave bout 8 nash hrally?"
 An exchange asks: "What are our young men doing? We can't ansW CT for the rest of the country, but around here they are engaged mainly intrying to lead nine-dollar exlstance on a seven-dollar salary.-Nor,oich Bulletin.
 Ihave great hope of a wicked man, slen- det hope of mean man. A wicked man many be converted and become a prorni- nent saint. A mean man ought to be con- l verted six or seven times. oRe right after the other. to give him fair start and put him on an equality with a bold, wicked man.-Beecher.
 | A gentleman in this city has pair of pantaloons which were worn by one of bis ancestorsI hundred years ago.. They are pi made Of home-spun cloth, except the seat. which is of thick leather. It is inferred from this that the original owner was a book agent.
 An ingenious Frenchman on Long Island claims to. have discovered sure means of destroying the potato bugs. Mix one gallon of prussic acid with three oun- ces of rend rock, stir well, and administer a tablespoonful every hour and half till the bug shows signs of weakening. Then ''"l'p ol N A E Fa TpeKss The enthusiastic choir master who adopted ''Hold the Fort" as procession al has been dismissed by the rector. He considered it personal when the chorister burst forth: . ...--'- |. ..see the mighty host advance, { ] | Satan leading on."' aA /
 The completeness of the Centennial will fall short If the managers neglect to pro vide representation of a new-fanpled country editor. Let's see-posed with one foot on the neck of the office boy, the otb- CT on the treadle of worn-out job press. his left hand holding a receipt for a half bushel of turnips, the overworked brain of his right arm vigorously plying ths hand saw on a chunk of editorial ssreadv- set" matter, and the picture is complete. Apropos of the anecdote in the Drawer for April touching Daniel Webster and Reyerdy Johnson, how will this do? MT.
 Johnson brought it with him from Lon don on his last return. few weeks before
 his sad death: When Mir. Webster visit ed England. after he had attained fame
 enough to precede him, an English gentle man took him one day to see Lord Bruug. ham. That eminent Briton received our Daniel with such eoolness that he was glad to get away and back to his rooms. The friend who had taken him at once re
 turned to Lord Brougham in haste and
 anger.
 My lord. how could you behave with l such unseamiy rndeness and discourtesy to so great a lawyer and statesman !? 1t was insulting to him, and has filed me with modification
 "Why, what on earth have done, and whom have been rude to ?" aH II ''To Daniel Webster, of the Senate of
 the United States" .e44 Great Jupiter. what a blunderl I
 thought it was that fellow Webster who
 made . dictionary and nearly ruined the English language"
 Then the great Chancellor quickly hunt ed up the American Senator. and. hay ing other tastes in common besides law and politics, they made royal night of it.-H0Tper's Mdgagiae.