The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-05-14
TuEMAN WITH A NOSE.

THE MAN WITH A NOSE.
The man with a nose has been abroad
and heard great many things recently.
He does not propose to say all that he
has heard nor to tell all he knows, ex-
cept palatable things. Yes; but, you
may observe, what is palatable for one
man may be quite unpalatable for an
other. This is indeed true, observes our
Nosey friend tits even "dilemmatical :"
but where is the dilemma that cannot
be avoided? He answers that the re-
quirements Of human nature enjoin man
not to improve on nature itself. The
potter frequently needs the sunshine
when the gardener would have rain
not even q gigantic guanaco umbrella
would he accept as compromise. But,
this ia getting en- mdtiere, as the French
would say, at a snail pace.
Speaking of perambulation reminds
us OF the Pontchartrain Railroad not
chat the trains are too slow on the con
trary, they are fast and the cars quite
comfortable. Bnt Nosey had sore toe
on the eventful occasion when Win
gadr's ''tlamphrod' those who call 1t
the "nameless force" give it o misno-
mer- had the effect Of provoking q few
blowing ups on the part OF irate wives
and mothers who had to keep warm
their husbands and SON. dinners Oh
that afternoon. We were saying that
Nosey had a sore toe, caused by a plen-
tiful crop OF borns and cunions, which
made it very disagreeable for him to
walk from the Washington Hotel to
Trisconi's, when the track was SUI
tt,,;n tI,t, 70 Lat a
to the visitors to the lake. If there was
nothing else to prove that the Pontchar-
train Railroad had nothing to do with
the "damphrod, this want OF accom-
mediation would be sufficient to fling
back the change into the teeth of daring
traducers.
It is singular how one subject leads to
another Of q similar kind. No intention
is meant to create new philosophy OF
mental natural selection. 1t is simply o
fact Nosey wishes to state. He under
stands that it is contemplated by the
New Orleans City Railroad Company to
issue tickets from any point OF the city
and return at twenty-five cents the
round trip. The matter, however, Is
only in chrysalis form, and may develop
into brilliant hued tiger or dull,
drab- co1ored moth-fiy. to be crushed
unto death in the interest Of winter
garments laid up for the season.
Doctor Chastant will not be called to
hold an inquest, his limits being well
defined, as he has shown recently. But
there is something else that interests the
Coroner of the Upper Districts; it is the
ANNOYANCE which he has to undergo
every time murder is committed. First
he has to hold the inquest, then to give
evidence before the Municipal Court,
then before the Grand Jury and again
before the Superior Criminal Court.
And the Doctor rightly thinks that even
| though the law requires it, it is absurd.
The man with nose is of the same
opinion, and he believes, like the Doctor,
that these cases might be transferred
directly from his office to the Grand
Jury, thereby avoiding delay and con
sderable annoyance and loss OF time to
! the witnesses. There can be no legiti-
mate objection to the proposition Of the
Y Coroner, at least none is apparent
\ Judge Lynch would certainly not in
! terfere arbitrarily in this matter. mas
much rs n good many of our lawyers
are beginning to think him u pretty
square man-so they say although
somewhat impulsiye and rough. A re-
\ spectacle member OF the bar was say
| ing recently that Barney had expressed
| himself determined to act fairly and in
the interests Of the people, and that he
accepted his new position with the sole
view Of doing what is right, and he
would under no circumstances allow
himself to be dictated to except by the
! law. The change in the atmosphere oil
| the Superior District Court which must
result from these professions Of faith
should they be carried out, will
! be healthful indeed. Certainly the
| honorable Judge has q fine opportunity
not only to win the confidence OF the
community, but also to immortalize
himself, and fancy Barney soaring aloft
amidst the blue clouds with a pair Of
outstretched rosy-tinted wings and 6
shimmering aureola encircling his broaC
| brow.
Celebrity is more easily acquired il
other quarters. The notorious mot tC
say celebrated) Bean was pointed Ou'
yesterday to Nosey. There goes Bean
How Bean stalks" suggested a by
stander. Another remarked: If Fatt
does her worst, he may yet be a string
Bean yes" replied the first by
stander, 90 II Destiny furnishes him viii
Bean pole" Nosey buried his trunl
into his seventy-five centennial hat
and from it's cavernous depth sounds
were heard which, translated into
French. seemed to mean tres bicH.