Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1876-09-27

cutting up any extras, as l am in the
habit of doing when | go into public
| set my pegs to go home with the
widow after the ball, but just as | was
fixing my mouth to ask her, up steps
a big, long, lea'her-faced doctor, nam
ed Marbray, and walked her right off
before my eyes. That riled me a lit
tie, but kept my tongue still, in-
wardly swearing to break his bones
the very first convenient opportunity
that presented itself | saw there was
no use saying anything, so | went
home and went to bed, and the rest
OF the night | was dreaming about
rainbows, angels, butterflies, tiddles,
widows and doctors, all mixed up
worse than Dutchman's dinner.
Well, Squire, to male short story
of it, | made up my mind to have the
widow, or kill myself or somebody
else.
So | made it convenient to be on
hand where she was upon all occa
sions. l couldn't eat, nor sleep. nor
work, and if the thing had gone or, ]
wonldn't have had sense enough left
to skin Il rabbit. But | was determ.
incd it shouldn't last long. for I'd been
fooled so often by women that l
thought | wouldn't give her time to
think of anything but me. She ap-
peared to take to me right sharply,
and the doctor seemed inclined to mix
it with me, but | didn't consider him
no more than brush fence, for was
50 far gone thought she couldn't
see nobody on earth but me. Well
Squire. things went or so for about a
month, and one Sunday screwed up
my spunk and put the question to
her. She sorter laughed, and she
sorter looked one-sided, and, finally,
told me she could not give me an an
swer just then, but if I'd call at her
house next Thursday evening she'd
give me final answer then. Thinks
|, yon'le mine, just as sure as there's
fddlers below. Whenever woman
takes time to lstudy she'll say yes (!
Squire, don't poets say something
about the calcul ations of men and rats
goin crooked p
mice and men, Burns says an
swered.
swell, mice and rats is all one, and
50 is men and fools sometimes as !
have found out in my travels. was
50 sure she'd have me, ! went off and
spent all my money for fine clothes,
thinking | d have them ready for the
weddlng-and l did Contound that
widow, | say !-Confound all the
widows! Thursday evening came at
last, though it was a long time about
it, and over | went, dressed into fits,
aud feeling as big as Joseph Maynor
did when he was elected coroner.
got there about dark, and found a
RIGHT smart crowd collected, which
was not on the bills, but / felt as good
as the rest of 'em. So | marched in
like blind mule into potato patch,
and took a seat by the fire. | didn't
see anything of the widow, but l
kept looking for her 10 come in or
send for me, and passed away the time
by cussid' the crowd to myself, think
lrg they had no business there, and I
would not get to talk to my woman a
bit. Presently the door opened, and
in walked Polly with that dad-burned
doctor, and whole team Of boys and
girls, fixed up savagely, | tell you. |
look around for fiddler, thinking
they were going to have bail, but |
wondered what they all kept SO still
for, and was about proposing a reel
when up gets a little preacher, and be.
fore you could swallow a live oyste
he had Polly and the doctor tied faster
. than q Mexican greaser could tie 4
bulls horn! | was so completely
tlummuxed that | sat there with my
mouth opened that I was going tc
swallow the whole crowd, and my
ewes looked like billiard balls till the
ceremony was over, when | jumpet
up and bellered:
Il forbid the concern from being
instituted y
you are little late my friend,
said the preacher, and they all com
menced laughing like they had seer
something very funny.
"IIl be burned squizzled if don
be soon enough for somebody, yet,
says !, for l was mad, Squire, and NJ