St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-02-25
Squibs.


Waste Oh u -futtlng II III depot.
The wife of the Marquis of Buse'~aU
recently delivered of twins1-.aI psiR .isf
ButeS, as ii were. ...;.,as.t.
playing billiards. TGsyW "a are Ed accustom, an1sE,r2v
ed to the qiSdagG. gGGi6 ggGG6 fhoat tianimi as ,
William Met i22ee 1haas beea dfmBrison-
20 iip t'hiia,islphis ~ Alkag bitten Oft
The assei efdWas Rbss.sf A Rose with
'odt Aspsf6 will pot smell as sweet.
,"fiThe Rrooklyn Argus is of 'pnion
tnat Mr. Evarts. Centennial orator, is
alresdy limiting himself to a diet of
eagles eggs. But it doesn't say how
many the tal"n-ted gentlemen must eat
aerle'S equal t" the occasion.
1t is new generally believed that
when Boss Tweed went up stairs to see
if there was rObber in the house, he
Inadvertently sat down on a box of
dynamite -because he is now being
found all over the country.
The leap year necktie" for gentlemen
Is out. We have not seen it, but sus-
pect it is a Young lady's sleeve, with
an arm i'll it, and goes all the way
around the neck. Every euterprising
y
\ Texas farmer. named Wade SAYS
he caught Il rabbit on his place the 9th
er day having on its head seven horns.
But before We believe this story, we
want to know how many 'hoIns" Wade
had in his head when he looked at the
animal.
The list of creditors of the Sturtevant
Manufacturing Company of Lebanon
number 63O. which is the largest list
of creditors of Il bankrupt ever pub
IlShcd III the state. with one exception.
The company's liabilities are over
S2OO.OOO.
Maria. observed Mr.. Halcomb, rs
he was putting on his clothes, there
amt no patch on them breeches vet"
Il cant iiA i! now, no way 4; Pm too
busy" ''Wrll, give me the cloth then,
an I'll carry it around with me. |
don't want people to think | can't af
ford the cloth
How much do You ask for that there
velvet by the yard said Mrs. Rural at
Stewards the other day. THAT, mad
am. said the clerk holding it up, "$9
formerly sold at Sl4." Thought So"
said Mrs. Rural. now where's them ls
cent calcoeS | seed advertised in the
papers ?"
That was il shrewd girl, and not de
void ot sense either, who remarked,
when other girls were making fun of
her short skirts, and affected to be
much shocked at the exhibition thereof
ut Il party: IF you'd only pull up
Your dresses about your neck, where
they ought to he, they'd be as shelt as
mine. She was not troubled any
more.
a lady called upon her milliner the
other day to get the character of her
servant. The respectable appearance
of the latter was beyond questioning
"But is she honest ?" asked the lady.
II am not SO certain about that" replied
the milliucr. 81 have sent her to you
with my bill Il dozen times and she has
never yet given me the money"
a certain parson. who was also
schoolteachcr. handed Il problem to
his class III mathematics the other day
The first hoy took it and looked at it
awhile. and said. Il pass" Second
boy took it and said, Il turn it down."
The third boy hoy stared at it awhile
and drawlcd ont. Il cant make it,"
VERY good, boys" said the parson.
I've will cut for IL new deal" And the
switch danced like lightning over the
shoulders of those depraved young
mathenIaticians.
1t i> said of Lord Norbury that he
would at amy time rather lose friend
than Il Joke. On one occasion he be
gan the sentence of death in this wise
''Pri~omer at the bar, You have been
found guilty 10y Il iury of your county
men of the crime laid to your charge,
and must say | entirely agree with
the verdict. for | Sre 'Scoundrcr writ
ten in youI face Here the prisoner
Interrupted with, "That'S Il strong re-
ticction from Your Lordship." Where
upon the Judge keenly appreciatins the
Joke. committed the sentence to tians-
portatlon for seven Years.
The Shrewdest yet: a applied to
B;for Il loan OF 500. b replied: .'My
dear \ nothing would please me better
than to obligc You, and I'll do it. |
havn't 500 10y me, but you make a
note and I'll endorse it, and You can
get the money from the bank" Crate
ful \ proceeded at once to write "A note
Stay" said b. make it 800. | want
one hundred myself" A did so. b en-
dor>cd the paper, the bank discounted
it and the money was divided. When
the note was due b was in California,
and \ had to meet the payment.
What he is unable to cipher out is
whether he borrowed 800 of A, or A
borrowed 500 of him.