The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-11-16
The Eastern Problem.


The Eastern Problem.
Miss Pennybun is not strong minded
and does not want to vote and hold of.
flee, or any of those horrid things, you
know; but she likes to keep posted on
current topics, and she reads the daily
papers like a hero, or martyr, or both.
She had waded patiently through all
the accounts of the wal in Turkey, and
almost dislocated her jaws and dazed
her brain in attempting to keep upwith
the times, but in spite of all her efforts,
she could never get at the bottom of
the affair, and had not the least idea
what 1t was all about. She shed many
tears on this account, and wondered
how 1t must feel to be a man and be
able to comprehend such deep and COM
plicated subjects, and talk on them as
tluently as she heard some of her mas
culine friends do.
One evening last week some gentle
men callers were discussing the "East-
ern question" with a great deal of
warmth and difference of opinion, and
Miss Pennybun, blushing for her igno-
rance, looked meekly up and said
"Gentlemen, will some Of you be kind
enough tc tell M what the Eastern
question is, and what Turkey is max
ing all this fuss aboutp"
Instead of the.chorus of voices that
she had expected there was a dead 81
lence for the space Of three minutes,
while five gentlemen stared blsnkly at
her with dismay written on their faces.
At last the wit of the party recovered
his breath, and said: "Oh, Turkey
must either gobble or be gobbled, and
she naturally prefers to gobble, don't
you see?"
" don't think l understand" an.
swered Miss Pennybun, looking pathet-
ically at another of the party.
The individual appealed to fdgeted
uneasily on his chair and glanced hur-
riedly at the door; then his face bright,
ened, and he turned to one of his com.
p~anions and said, "Here's Brown, Miss
%Pennybun he has given us half a doz.
en- solutions, so of course he can state
the problem"
Mr.. Brown grew exceedingly red and
jerked at his collar as if it felt too tight,
but managed to a~rticulate n reference
to Mr.. Green.
Mr.. Green looked alarmed, but gal
lantly responded that it should never be
said that he encouraged a woman tc
desert her sphere, and positively re-
fused to enlighten her.
Then a quiet young mar in the cor
ner saw his opportunity and began
cts a very simple question, Miss Pen
nybun; very simple, indeed. You see
the Turkish provinces belong to Turkey
and the Bosphorus being the key of tn,
Porte, the Gar of Russia thinks of alb
dicating in favor of Czarowitch, which
naturally makes England and German,
anxious about The balance of power anc
~excites the suspicious of Austria will
regard to her semi-Italian possessions
Servia and Montenegro being in revolt
and Il hope you follow me, Miss Pen
nybun) the Spanish succession being /,
doubtful question, Constantinople is il
an exposed condition and England il
uneasy. Roumania is overrun with Rus
sian troops and, France remaining neu
trail the while, the Shah of Persia is a
last waking up to the Importance of tn,
affair, which will undoubtedly depriv,
the Ottoman Empire of the Balkan
peninsula, thereby rousing the Hunga
rians and involving Greece and tn,
greater part Of Asia.
al think the matter is very plain ant
l believe in enlightening the womer
enough to make them 'oom paniona
ble,'" concluded the quiet young man
leaning back in his chair, while the
tears came into Miss Pennybun's eyes il
admiration of the stupendous intellec
enshrined within that noble form, an,
four unhappy young men arose to go
!, inwardly denouncing their own stupid
|, ty, and wondering where the mischie
|, Jones found all that out.-Omaha Re
, publican.