The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-08-31
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

whales.
Canadian journals are ure,nc town
tradesmen to 60 back to farming and thus
cure hard times.
"A Boston bank has lust rot hack a
three years ago.
Fashionable ladies now hang their fans
by two-inch wide cardinal ribbon, caught
at the waist on the left side.
~ don't like piano music, but onions
ADORE" was the fond remark of an Ari.
iona man to his young wife.
Don't take an overdose of water.
melon. One slice for an infant and three
for an adult is the regulated quantity.
When King William, of Germany, is
in good humOr, what great country does
he remind us of? America, sir "a merry
Kaiser).
-Have you ever experienced the feel
ing that comes creeping over small boy
when he is in swimming and imagines that
mud-turtle is nibbling at his toes?
An Oakland lunatic carried butch.
er's knife around for two hours, offering to
kill anyone who said he wasn't Moses.
Everyone said he looked just like Moses.
"A poverty -pinched child was lately
sentenced to Imprisonment in New York
for stealing loaf of bread. We are get
ting to be just as great people as any
across the Atlantic.
Boston is to have free vegetable mar.
ket, under control of the city, where pro-
ducers only may sell, which is expected
to save much money to the citizens and in
sure better quality.
"A Franklin County, Massachusetts,,
husband lately promised his dying wife he
would not marry again until the children
were large enough to fight for their rights
against a step-mother.
The Pail Mall Gazette saws that the
American Indians should be isolated and
kept under the strong hand of Govern
ment. Suppose the PaN.M HAL folks come
over and help US " isolate" the red fel-
lows?
-"Did she not return your love ?" in.
quired sympathizing friend of young
man who intimated that he had some
difficulty with his sweetheart. Eyes, she
returned it, and that is exactly what the
trouble is. She said she didn't want it,
Greece is trying State, and seething
hot.-P ittsburgh Commercial. You should
not render any such offal jokes as that
this weather.-St. Louis Democrat. Such
interchangeable jokers make one think
their cases soapless.-3urlington Hawk-
Eye.
-" The Fall bonnets are coming out,
dear" sweetly observed Chicago woman
to her husband last night. "Ah, indeed
80 soon?" he asked agonizingly, and
straightway went out and resolved to cheat
some man out of q SIS debt.-CAicaqo
Journal.
The following emendation to that
famous couplet of Whitticr's in "Maud
Muller is suggested for the benefit of
all spinsters and disappointed young
ladies':
OF all sad words from tongue or pen.
The saddest are these: might have had Ben.
There is nothing that tends to destroy
popular sympathy for the working classes
so much as the habit bricklaycr has of
dropping bits of mortar from the top of
five story wall into the eye of the wonder
ing man who stands under the lofty
scaffolding and looks up.
The good-for- this day only 1ues-
ton has come up again in New Jersey and
been decided in favor of the railroad COM
pany. The decision was rendered under
one of the statutes passed when Jersey was
widely known as the State of "Camden
and Amboy. '-Detroit Free Press.
"A little Danbury girl was trying to
make her doll sit up straight at the table,
but she was meeting with difficulty. Fl
nally she gave it a slap alongside of its
head, and excitedly exclaimed: "You
sit up there, young lady, or not a single
step shall you 60 with me to the Centen-
nial!'
-"Why, husband" exclaimed Chica-
go wife not long since, "there goes our
old nelghbor's family in brann new rig
coach, horses and coachman. Has he
gone into bankruptcy again ?" "No, he
hasn't gone into bankruptcy" replied the
husband, knowingly, "but you remember
he was elected to the City Council last
year!'-Chscago Eueniaq Journal.
-Curiosities never seen: A fence made
from railing of scolding wife A plate
of butter from the cream Of joke The
small coins in the change of the moon"
The original brush used in painting the
signs Of the times. The hammer that
broke up the meeting. The animal that
drew an inference. Eggs from a nest of
thieves. A bucket of water from "AR's
we'll"
"A lady physician of New York says
the women of America ought to walk
more, wear tight stockings and loose
shoes, and never wear slippers. But as
she goes on to say that when she was only
seven years old she used to walk twenty
three miles day, it gives the public the
right to disbelieve and disregard every
thing else she says on the same subject
Daroit Free Press.
Glass toughened by the Bastie
process so called, doesn't seem to find
favor in Kentucky. A citizen of Louis
vile bought lamp chimney so tough
ened, short time since, and reports that
after it had been used for several days it
took fancy one morning, after having
been entirely free from exposure to heat
for hours, to explode. The noise was like
that of a pistol, and the fragments, which
were numbered by thousands, continued
for some time to indulge in minor explo-
sions on their individual account. The
mystery is as yet unexplained; but for the
present the Louisvilliaps will indulge in
the old fashioned chimney, which goes to
pieces when it's hot and all at oDce.''