, 1876-09-24
BREVITIES,

Al1S AC GAAEk 1dSk FI34t Ill k41S SEELlQQ Ul
| country.
BREVITIEs.
! Why was the 1st Of September like the trans
| grcssion Of Adam! Because It was the begin
| ming Of the fall
When young Hebrew begins the study Of
grammar he realizes the force OF the expression,
"To your tense, oh, 1srael!''-~that Is to say, if
| he is In the mood
tit is easier for camel to go through the
knee OF an idol than for rich man to enter
heaven" is the interpretation which colored
| preacher gave to the Scriptures.
| 4 little fye-ycar-old, OF Dorchester, some
what surprised his mother a few days since
with the remark: "God is everywhere, He is nll
over me, and when you spank me you spank
Godi''
It is depressing to faith to have boy come
around your premises whistling some good Sum
day-sehool tune like s1What Shall the Harvest
Be" and soon after discover him stealing your
grapes.
A returned missionary, who escaped from
Fiji fatteaing pen, into which lie had been iured
by message from a dying native, speaks in
terms Of unchristian bitterness of his perGjis
treatment By tue unregeuerate pagans.
A little four -ycar~old girl, having been in
structed that the angels we're clothed in white,
SURPRISED her parents BY the remark, after q re-
cent shower followed By tfeecy clouds, that the
angels were hanging out their clothes to dry.
A bright little girl Of this city, the day before
the meeting OF The Conference, in great glee,
told one OF her little chums that ''lIainnla Is
going to have q hired girl during Conference
week, and there will be lots Of confidence naen
in town then" ."-Na<s Republican.
a Hartford preacher said in sermon last
Sunday, " Most Christians hate contribution
box worse than they do the deyil.' No doubt;
because they can escape the devil by going to
church, but in that very act Of Hight they run
plump against the inevitable contribution box.
We are not very realistic in our taste, nor are
we disposed to be hypercritieal, but We cannot
help protesting that the artist who painted
the tinding of Muses." now on exhibition at
the Centennial, had no good reason Tor encasing
the feet OF the infant Moses in pair OF copper
tocd shoes.
st. Joseph Herald Nothing undermfnes
one's faith ia a mans liberalty to the church so
much as to sec him run his hands down in his
pockets when he sees the contribution box tray
cling his way, then look astonished and remark
to the person sitting next to him, II have got
on my other pants'
An old co1ored preacher in this city was Ice
turing youth OF lis fold about the sin of dane
ing, when the latter protested that the Bible
plainly said - There is y time to duuce.' tsYes,
dar am time to dance,'' said the dark divine.
'and it's when boy gifts Whippin' for gwine
to ba1i."-4ttanta Times.
Little Johnny has peculiar views as to orig
fnal sin. One day he was about to be punished
for some misdemcanor, when he pleaded: "It
wasn't me, mamma dear-it was the lad many
swell, Johnny, I'm going to Whip the bad mau
out of your "Ah, yes, but that'1l hurt me
precious Tot more than it will the bad man."
The tobacco-worm is pestering the farmers of
&t.n n+A ,7n,n 49, r., e
slim. The following conundrun has found its
way into print: g II SO small thing as
tobacco-worm will keep professed follower Of
Christ away from church, how large thing
would it take to keep him out OF the kingdom
OF heaven?''
A l,ttlc miss, writing to her father on the
first day OF her entrance at boarding school,
says: "The first evening we had prayers, and
then singing, and passing round Of bread,
which I did not take because, not being con-
frn1ed, thought had no right to take COM
munion. Afterward I learned that had lost
my supper"
Charles Francis Adams is the gentleman who
SO impressed the little girl known III history.
Mr. Adams visited the child's mother, it will be
remembered. The little one WAS 50 afraid that
she lid under the table. When Mr.. Adams had
departed she went up to her mother and asked
III q voice heavy with ave, 81 Ma, was that Dod!"
-Nochsstsr Democrat.
Ucauheadlng. as it is called, ought to be ahol-
ished. 1t is a nuisance. It was once reproved
By certain "rnine host in this wise: d
preacher desired that q deduction should bc
made from his board-bi1l on account OF his
"clotA." The host replied: "Friend, haye
observed thee. Thou hast eaten as sinner and
thou must pay as a sinner"
tfWeIl, uncle how is the cause Of religion
getting on in your neighborhood2" <'Mghty
poof-mighty poor" ''No new converts, ehs''
u Not single onc-not dc sign OF ope'' s'Wbat
seems to be the mattcr?" asked the citizen after
lengthy pause. ''Dc matter is dat some one
hcz stolen four big watermelons out o my cart
dis afternoon, an feel in my bones dat religion
Is gwine down hill all froo dis locality
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