Middletown transcript., 1876-05-13
A moor laird Of Macnab was insthe

up into the bay-loIt and was pulllng the
ladder up after him.
i A poor laird Of Macnab was insthe
habit Of riding a most wretched horse
to the Musselbaugb races. where a
young wit asked him. in contemp-
tuous tone, us that the same horse
you had last year, laird ?" "Na," said
the laird, brandishing his whip in the
interrogator's face SO emphatically as
to preclude further questioning, ina,
but it's the same aohip.
A "bumptious" traveller. overtaking
an old Presbyterian minister. whose
nag was much fatigued. quizzed the
old gentleman upon his "turn out"
"A nice horse Of yours doctor, very valu-
able beas. that-but what makes him
wag his tail so, doctor ?" "Why, as
you have asked me I will tell you It
is for the same reason that your tongue
wags so-a sort of natural weakness /"
An Irishman, arriving in this coun-
try took fancy to Yankee girl, and
wrote to bis wife Dear Norah. these
melancholy lines are to inform you
that I died yesterday. and l hope you
are enjoying the same blessing re-
commend you 10 marry Jerry O'Rouke
and take care Of the children. From
your affectionate husband till death
Marshall Soult, once showing the
pictures be stole in Spain, stopped be-
fore one and remarked II value this
picture very much; it saved the lives
Of two estimable persons An aid de-
camp whispered in the listeners ear !;
s.He threatened to have them both shot
Immediately unless they gave them up,
Mamma-"Sing the President some
thing, dear. What would you ike,f
General 2"
The President (who hath music in
his SOUL D-.W ell-er- what that song
about Kathleen maneuvrin' where it
says. ut may be FOUR years. and it
may be forever! I'd like that
Theodore Hook was once busily en-
gagged in writing song when be was
much annoyed by fiddler straining
harsh discords under bis window =
Hook threw out six pence to him, at
the same time requesting him to take
his departure, as one scraper at the
door was sufficient.
RELIGIONS AND SAUCES -Ude, the
French cook, was surprised at the num-
Der Of churches and chapels in London,
and the frequency with which melted
butter was used at English tables. He
said: "What an extraordinary nation
they have twenty religions. and only
one sauce"
Sequel to the death Of Mary's little
Lamb:
So now that darling little lamb,
They've had to go and bury.
We wish to add another verse,
Perhaps twill comfort Mary
Rest, faithful little follower,
Yopr pastures green and grassy,
We hope yon may, till the day,
Requisecat in pace.
A woman is imbued with feeling of
Joy and kindness second only to that
of the angels, but she can never wash
out pair of mems cashmere pants and
have them set as we'll as they did be-
fore.-Fulton Times No, nor as we'll
as they did behind, either Ncksburg
Herald.
"Ma, what is lanker p. inquired
bright looking child. the other day.
I'm sure | don't know, my son.
Where did you hear the word ?" "Why,
at Sunday school. You know they
sing. We'll stand the storm, it won't
be long; we'll lauker bye-and-bye.'
A Western paper announces the ILL
ness of its editor, piously adding "All
good paying subscribers are requested
to mention him in their prayers. The
others need not. as the prayers Of the
wicked avail nothing"
Good Friday would have been bad
Friday for one boy ip Montreal if be
could have been discovered He put
ink in the holy water receptacle of
the Cathedral. with a result more pic
turesque than pleasing.
Don't you think you have preju-
dice against the prisoner ?" asked a
lawyer of a witness every likely"
was the reply; II have caught him
stealing two or three times"
Tho nc1:co.-.