The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-02-23

| thAugS 1AC -hGSSSSafy1 dHu must u
bought" t
&" Yes-you are fight-but let's sum i
all up. Ten dollars for your hat-sev
enty-five, you say, your suit cost you
and youreboots, let's say twelve Ten
twelve-seyeRty-fi makes nine
ty-seYen. dollars, does il not A mic,
little sum for one suit.
upon my word ~ exclaimed the as
tonished Brown. :" did not think it.wa
so much-and l am not.an extravagan
man-indeed, am often sure that Istin
myself"
| At that moment the writer wore {
cashmere-her 'tbest'' for the winter
which, all told, had not cost thirty dol
lars, and the price of Browns beaver
would have purchased the hat she wore
and left margin for Browns daily half
dozen cigars. and, by close cOmputa
tion, might have afforded his morning
dram.
But, as the men argue--and intrencl
themselves behind this latter as behind
a wall-there are so many other things a
woman must have-jew elry, laces, etc.
there is where the cost comes in !
To be sure-but have noted all OF
Browns wardrobe " here are his watch
and chain that cost one hundred dollars
his handsome beaver over-coat, not TO
that fellow must have, you know"
90, but you women have so many
different suits, that makes the difference. "
What of Browns neat gray suit, for
rainy days-the dark blue that he lounges
in-the felt hat for Z" ordinary wear
the half-worn boots and shoes that lie in
his closet-the pants and vests that arc
constantly accumulating behind the sit
ting-roOm door, to the distress of Browns s
neat little wife
o. Brown Dear Brown EcOnomi-
cal Brown fear you have not count
ed the cost of your harness" else you
had never said that more than half your
income goes TO buying furbelows for
women folks"
(" But our clothes last so much longer
than womens'-for instance, we never
cast awav a hat simply because it is out
of style"
Come with me to a deserted store-roOm
in my residence. Gaze upon funereal
trio that lie sadly upon the shelf What
see yous Not q gentleman's beaver
Surely not Yea, beaver-One of them
two of them-three of them Shining
and. bright under the dust that has accu-
mulated upon their respectable cOunten-
ances.- I" How comes this ?" ask them.
a. See here, old fellow, you look pretty
HIbA AAOh NdAhN y ou A@ASANh- w
high" And you. my friend ?" ''I'oO
low. >" /" Well, well what was y0ur fault,
number three ?" '.Too broad in the
brim."
There they lie in unbroken slumber, a
shining witness to coming ages that a
man never casts aside hat simply be-
cause it is ont of style.
feel that ] should be guilty of high
treason were | to say aught against that
target for coarse jests, and contemplate
ribaldry, the much abused, the long suf-
fering pin-backs" They have laid
humanity under debt that can never
be cancelled. Think for n moment of
the dullncSS of the ncwSpapers-tbe
death-like stiffness of the street-cOrncrs,
where young men land old ones too, be
ii said to their shame) most do congre-
gate to repeat coarse jcsts, and indulge
in coarscr conversation about the women
whom God and the angels know are pur-
er than snow beside these men who scott
at them. Think of the lecturers with
out subjects, the poets minus rhymes,
the wits with no jests but for the long
suffering fashion Contemplate the pale
faces of those aspirants for
literary fame, who, but for the "pin-
backs, would never have experienced
the bliss ineffable-the transccndant glo-
ry, of seeing their names, their precious,
dear little names-in print
i would move to call convention of
newspaper men in order 10 return most
humble thanks to the pin-backs," " for
furnishing their columns with more vul-
gar wit, more questiOnably decent squibs
than all other things since hoop-skirts
were invented Surely they have never
fully realized that, but for this fashion,
there would have been utter stagnatiOn
in both Church, State and Society at
large. So give the pin-backs" tarly
justice
But, seriously, good sirs, do you never
follow any unbecoming fashions, absurd
styles Are pin-backs"-ca they he
more ungTaceful. more uncomfortable
than the delightful, charming tights"
in which, few years ago, our gentle
men We're 'cribb'd, cabbin'd, cOnfin'd?"
Are shoes, with heels like an inverted
cone, any uglier than the cork-toed"
boots so fashionable at present, serving
as they do, to herald the coming of the
wearer long before his face is visible
Not long since a young gentleman,
Just from fashionable city, called upon
a good old lady-not a hundred miles
from here. OF course young America
fancied he was " cutting quite DASH
in all his city finery. Imagine his cha
grin when the old lady inquired of her
daughter, in an audible aside, Sary
Ann, are his feet deformed ~ But, OF
the " cOrk-toes" are 50 comfortable so
easy A pity the gentlemen never found
it out until they became the fashion
Think of the miserable years, in high
heeled, french calf, which acas the fash
ion, that might have been spared them,
had some good angel whispered into
their ear that ' cOrk-toes" are 80 com-
Portable
Beavers-' nine bilers''-" bee-gums"
are they $50 comfortable ~ They are
so light so soft so graceful! You
never see a man bending and dodging
in them as if he were afraid he might
disturb the harmony of the heavenly
bodies They never tip off, on u windy
day, to the amusement of every street
urchih passing o, no they are so much
more comfortable - becoming, than a
a. love of bonnet ~
And now-I have had my say, and my
mind feels easier.
In conclusion, gentlemen, don't be al
ways harping upon the womens' dress.
If they want to pin back" let them
pins are cheap! If they want forty ruff
fles on their dresses, don't make ninny
Of yourself by saying they shall only
have thirty y-nine. Go about your own
business like men-and let us alone, and
we promise you that you may tunnel the
earth with your hOots-knock out the
stars with your hats, and pile up the cast
of beavers until they are as high as
. Bunker Hill monument" with never
. word from us
A ,>rintor na,ned Frazier at C1in