The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-09-06
This and That.

Robert Buchanan, the English poet,
is thirty-fve.
Napoleon ". has been dining with
Queen Victoria.
The ghost that troubles the business
man nowadays, is the ghost of Bank
owe!
A fashion critic says that old wo-
men should not wear full suits of
white.
The Duke of Edinburgh completed
his thirty'second year on Sunday, Au-
gust 6.
Western people like Cape May be-
cause there is plenty of comfort and
no style there.
DR.. Mary Walker continues to bifur-
CAFE, and was bitten in the calf by a
cog the other day.
Seven thousand four hundred Eng
lish soldiers in India refuse to drink
spirits or malt liquor.
Six women are at present Knights of
the Grand Cross of the Legion OF Hon.
or. They are all good nights.
The Blackfeet Indians have respond
ed to their American brethren, ooh |!
Siouxanne, don't you cry for me-
1t is reported that, while Alfred
Tennyson is Spiritualist, Mrs. Tenny-
son is not, and forbids all mention of
the subject at her hearth.
There are handkerchiefs at the Gen.
tennial worth ST., 500. and one can't
look at them five minutes without feel
ing like wiping his nose on his coat.
tail.
The year 1876 will probably be known
in our history as the year of great ex-
positions. More men have been ex,,
posed in it than in any previous year
OF our existence.
"Ah, me- said a romantic wife, II
love to unlock my soul with the keysof
the piano. ''But," said the stern hus-
band, "your keys have too much fiat
and too little natural.'
Indignant Husband-I suppose I have
the privilege of speaking my mind {?
Truthful Wife-Yes, John but if you
had nothing but your own mind to
speak, you'd be always dumb.
A young Highlander, taking leave of
his sweetheart one Saturday evening,
remarked: ell see We at the kirk
the morn if we are spared, an wheth-
er or no, I'll see We on Monday
One enemy of mosquitoes is oil of
penny-royal, which if placed in an I'M
corked bottle beside your bed, will
make so much of an odor that it will
drive either YOU or the mosquitoes
away.
In less than six months the very
men who are now growing about the
heat, will be jawing their wives for
trading off their last Winters over
coat for plaster lamb and two glass
preserving dishes. Man is nothing if
he isn't inconsistent.
1t will hardly be necessary to tell the
name Of the party who went into dry
goods store theIother day and was OBJ
served to be looking about, when the
proprietor remarked to him that they
didn't keep whisky. cit would save
you a good many steps if you did,
was the quick reply.
The girls are all writing letters to
the eastern papers for advice on the
kissing question. The girls ought to
know that the sum and substance of
all wisdom in this subject is Never
kiss, unless you have good chance !;
and, above all, never tell about it.
A friend, meeting another, spoke of
having some centennial republican
pups. Meeting the same friend a few
days after, he said; 1--WE some demo
cratic puppies at my home.'' "Why,
how So cries the friend, 81 thought
you called them republican pups a few
days ago." "Well." answered he,
$50 I did; but they have their eyes
open now
An old scientist says this world will
eventually be one solid piece of ice
and one could not help thinking so last
night, as he vainly endeavored to fan
himself to sleep, that the time is rap
idly approaching. That is, the time is
rapidly approaching when such old
frauds should be roasted to death.
Yesterday and last night would have
dissolved a chunk of ice twice as large
as this world.-Ex.
A Pin He p.o