Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-02-24
The False Weather Prophet.

THERE are several people in this sec
ton of the country who make rails and
kill hogs when the moon is a-fullin';"
cut weeds when it Is -wanin';" plant
potatoes in the light of the moon, because
they want them to come up, ana build
fence at the same time, because they want
1t to stay up; put on shingles in the dark
of the moon, to make them stay down |;
who plant their cowcumbers" before
sunrise on the LIST of June, and sell their
produce according to the ember days
The apostle OF this class of agriculturists
in this section is an old grizzly bearded
sage living but few miles from the city
who has the intellectual capacity ola Dig
ger Indian, unite1 10 loud .mouthed con
tidentness that carries conviction 10 his
disciples. .s .".
Last fall the old man studied up the
signs. felt the moss on the trees, took no.
tice Of the way pigeons were lighting out
for the south, peered into the muskrat's
holes, and then announced with the calm
assurance Of an oracle, that we were GO
ing TO have winter so cold that we would
think the Greenlanders had gotten hold
of the isothermal line and twisted it
around, giving us their end OF IT,
Eyes, sir" said old Weatherwise
ats a. goin' to be regular old singer
an no mistake. It'll set in cold airly,
about the fust quarter of the moon in
October and keep on IA. gittin' colder I'M
til lust afore the moon fulls in January !;
irll be so tarnation cold that coal will
have TO be sold by the chunk and you kin
buy whisky by the plug"
And his hearers straightway departed
from him, filled with the idea that new
glacial period was at hand. They hoped
up their wood piles until they could not
see over the tops thereof; they raised
small mountains over their potato holes;
they wasted their substance in buying
Ulster overcoats, and the stock of whisky
they laid in enabled liquor dealer in
this city 10 make his wife present of a
seal skin suit and diamond bracelet.
Thus fortified, they sat down and waited,
sneering at their less provident neighb0rs,
good deal after the fashion that old
Father Noah chuckled over the way those
fellows slipped who did not prepare an
ark OF shitiAm wood at the time OF the ex-
traordinary precipitation, which lasted
forty days and forty nights
AT first the weather started in very
brash, and they were delighted Then i
softened up little and resolved itself
into a sort OF mild, sub-tropical winter,
which, as il spread itself out over weeks,
began to disgust them. When Christmas
dawned, fair as May morning, they felt
as if they should be heard, and the man
who had built big ice house by the
river and invested all his money in that
and ice plows, stepped around to old
Weatherwise To ask what he meant by
thus trifling with their feelings and in
terests; ii he was going 10 run this
weather business, he must do IT, and not
fool around in this absurd manner. Old
Weatherwise annihilated him with
+" Now, any fool'd know better than to
expect real cold weather afOre Christmas.
Just you wait till the days begin to
Ienethen, then weather III begin TO
strengthen, as the old sayin' is"
They were forced TO be satisfied with
this. but went off grumbling. New Years
dawned even brighter than Christmas, and
then the chap who had bought barrel Of
alcohol to serve as a beverage in the cold
DAYS, went to the old man in rage, but he
was put off with the excuse that the moon
was not in the right conjunction; to just
wait until the next change, when the moon
was once dark, 1t would be cold enough
to exceed their most sanguine eXpecta'
tons.
Once more they waited. but this time
with impotence. The moon changed
about two weeks ago, and the nights be-
came dark as Egypt The anxious people
waited week for the fulfillment OF the
old rascal's prophecies, and then they rose
as one man and went 10 his abode. The
scene that followed was tumuituous. The
ice man swore he was in league with the
men on the northern lakes to plumber his
neigbbors; the saw mill man said there