The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-08-24
WITCH is IN THE STATE Nv KENTUCKY,

AkoIifiOuisIs-Then He Goes 20 sarategs,
CoNFEDMT x ROADS,
WITCH is IN THE STATE Nv KENTUCKY, ,
Jooly "a, 1876.
got home from Injeany Disguised and discur-
aged After the unforchnit speech witch Issaker
Gavitt spilled, went to two other appointments
afOot but met no Encouragement. The Dimoc-
risy WIZ cold, and not impossible / wuzn't
invited to q single mites lodgin, nor a drop Nv
anything to drink, and got back ez dry ez a
lime-kill. But Their is somethin in it, after all,
for in the Township Bible, WITCH we keep to sware
witnesses onto, found a passage witch comfort
ed me, shown, ez it duz, that am better man
than l thot WIZ:
"When the unclean spert is gone out NV
man, he walketh throO dry places, seekin rest
and indin none."-Mathew, 12-43.
But Their comes in don't, after all. Don't the
words 'uDclean sperits" apply to the sod-corn
whis y witch hev cOnsoOmed, and that about
seekin rest and findin none, TO my yoOniform i'll
success in beatin landlordsf 1t is a singler fact
thai, whenever a Dimocrat flies to the Bible for
cOnsolashen, be alluZ Tetires with douts on his
mind. He Good git more comfort out Nv it eff it
wuzn't made up SO largely Nv threatnins and
penalties. Hevin voted a strate Dimocratic tick
ct alluz, the story NV the theevs on the cross
cumtsrts me some, and SO duZ the fact that hey
alluz deth bed repentance to fall back onto.
lcOnseeved it my dOoty to deliver a orashen
on the 4th JoOly, to commemorate the Centennyal
NV Amerikin Independence but wuz subjected
to a series nv insults from the Ablishnsts NV the
Corners witch noerly broke my hart. When an
nouneed it, Pollock, the Illinoy disturber re-
marked: See Job xxx, 5:
'Who hath sent out the wild ass freei Or
who hath lOosed the bands the wild asst"
And when WIZ speekin, and layin it down
ruther lively ez to the strenth NV free instoosh-
ems witch Good survive a hundred yeers, "Yes,"
replied that onmittigated cuss, Joe Bgler, at is
q strong Government. Wen think it hez lived a
hundred yeers, and is yit helthy, and remember
Their hez bin DimOcratic party at the he'd most
NV that time, l am lost in admirashen at its nat
eral vitality. Ez it hez survived yoo and SIGH
ez 700, don't despare nv the Republic."
The niggers all laft uproarously, and ez we he'd
decided not to kill any more 'em till after the
eleckshun, we he'd to stand ther jeers in silence.
Its disgustin.
The Dimocrisy hev bin watin for the letters
Nv the Reform candidates, Tilden and Hendrix,
exceptin the nominashuns. They will waite some
time yit, l fancy.
felt it to be the proper thing to do, to accom-
pany our noble reform candidate for Vice resi
dent Hendrix, to SaratOgy, to consult with our
noble Reform candidate for President, Tilden,
that they mite agreew ez to wat they shoOd
bleeve in till after the elekshun.
Tilden WIZ q settin in his room, smiln,
rounded BY them eminent RefoImers, John Nor
risey, Boss Mclaughlin, Oaky Hall, and SIGH,
when Hendrix entered with his Reform hackers
witch is me, Henry Clay Dean, Gov. Allen, NV
Ohio and SIGH.
MY buzum swelled with emoshun ez lookt
over the crowd. "Now, thot l, "the country
and the Post 0fices-is safe"
Then l guz immejitly alarmed. The mint
the two CRATE RefOrmers met, tber eyes glared,
and, meIaforically speekin, they lowered Their
heds at each other like two enraged Buffalo
bulls. We felt that it wuz impossible for them
two crate intelleeks to come together.
We begged nv EN- to be mOderit, to each cOn-
cede sumthin, and agree upon some kind nv a
letter, witch wood pacify the party, and keep it
together, and yoonite it.
made the openin speech.
Gentlemen" sed ], regardin them with stern
look, afore wich they quailed, "neither Nv 700
must undertake to throw the other out nv the
party. See Matthew, 1926:
"And eff Satan cast out Saten he is divided acin
hisself; how shell his kingdom standf"
"Ef We are divided agn ourselves, and loose
this elekshun, wat becomes nv usi Eff Hayes is
elected, kin my muskeler friend, MOrrissy, the
pride nv Moo York, be Secretary the Treshryf
Eff Hendrix goes down, kin my ertbly friend,
Dean, be Minister to Englandf Eff 700 both go
uder, wat is to becum NV the long suiferin
peter nv Moo York, the dOwn-trOdden Confed-
erstes nv the South, and the host nv Dimokrats
witch fOllered the lamented Bookanan out NV
offs, and hey bin gitTin Their likkers tick ever
sencef
"And wat is to becum nv mel Am to be de-
frauded out nv the Post Offs at the Corners, be-
cos 700 can't agree on the currency question
Gentlemen ! continued, "with the Post
Offises filed with Republicans, with all the offs
es filed with Republicans, with thousands
DiElekrats witch won't average one shirt apeece,
and who hsv bin waitin for places fifteen weary
yeers-wth sich solid facts afore 700, kin 700, l
ask, let SIGH mere abstrackshens ez currency, tar
i'll, banks, manufakters, and trade generally pre-
vent yoonity nv ackshen can't beeye il. In
the interest NV these sufferin longers for place,
strike ez one man for Reform and Victry! Make
yoor letters Hard Money, or dodge it altogether,
ez 700 chooze-we who want the places will take
either gold or paper for our salaries-but make
crnfh IN oil .,.Al ak, ss
TO win."
Tilden then remarkt that he wuz anxshus for
barr my, and Hendrix remarkt that he wuz will
len 40 make conceshuns, and they sot down to
argOo the matter, and they got to a agreement
But wat happenedf
These men both know too much They are
both too gifted. Afore they he'd talked hour
Tildeu he'd convinced Hendrix that Hard Money
wuz the only practicable ice, and they fit
wus than ever, and wuz wider apart than ever.
When left Their room, Hendrix wuz q cussin'
Tilden for coek-eyed, soft-mOney repoodiater,
and Tilden wuZ Vigorously dammin' Hendrix
for bard money, blOated aristOcret.
This is why they hewitt ishoOd Their letters nv
acceptance yit and why they can't. Never agin
will consent to heyin two men nv talent on the
same ticket.
But we incident be afrade nv bein short NV
candidates. never knowed DimOkrat any
standin' who ever declined a nominashen for
anything.
Things is not well with us in Inieanny. The
Dimocratic leaders goin back on Tilden teri
BILE. Follerin the prejOOdises nv the Dmocratic
voters, and thinkin more nv Their seets in Con-
girls than they do nv the success the COZ, they
repoodiate Tilden. It is ongrateful l know NV
several Reform delegates to st. Loois who accept
ed thousands nv his money 20 support him in
eonvenshun, and are now opposin NV him: got
only $500 for my vote, bat small ez wuz the sum,
and notwIthstandn the fact that got no good
nv it, ez it went to pay old diets, l wood be
ashamed to 60 back on the man wat pade It.
Tilden pade my price-it wuz my fault ef didn't
ask more, and also my fault that let Baseom
gobbe it.
can't understand wat they want. The East
ern hard money men hev a hard money eand-
date, and the Western soft-money men hev q soft
money candidate. And eZ neither em hez rit-
ten line, kin anybody tell wat they believe in,
or find any fault with emf Why can't we shet
our eyes and hey faithf
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
(Which would re to be Postmaster.)