The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-09-09
A Mysterious Visit.
BY MARK TWAIN.

The first notice that was taken Of m
! when settled down." recently, WAS by
gentleman who said be was an assessor
! and connected with the United States 10
ternal revenue department. enid ha,
never heard Of bis branch of business be
fore, but was very glad to see him, al
the same; would he sit down? lie sa
down. did not know anything partio
ular to say, and yet felt that peopl
who have arrived at tho dignity of keep
ing house must be conversational must b.
easy and scciable in company. So, il
default Of anything elso to SAY, asked hin
if he wa opening his shop 10 oar neigh
horhood
lie said he was. II did tot wish /,
appear igaor. nj, bat had hoped h
would mention what he had for salo.l
| veutured to ask him how wa
trade ?" and he answered 5000"
| then said VIC would drop il, and i
We liked his house as well as any olher
wc would give him our custom.
He said hc though, We would like hi
establishment well enough to confine our
selves TO it--said he never saw anybod,
who would go and hunt up another p,ai
in his line after trading with him once.
That sounded pretty complaoeut, bu
barring that natural expression Of vilainy
which we all haYo, tho msn looked hon
eat enough.
DO not know how it came about, ex,
actly, but gradually we appeared to melt
down end run together, conversotionally
speaking, and then everything went along
as comfortably as CLOCK work
We talked, and talked, 2ud talked a,
least did. And We laughed, and laugh
ed, aud laughed---at least he did. Bu,
all the time | had my native shrewdness
turned On, "full head as the engineers
say. | was determined to hnd out all
about his business, in spite Of his obaouro
answer-and | was determined | would
have it out Of him without bis suapeotine
! what was at. meant to trap him
with a deep deep ruee would tell
him all about my own business, and he
would naturally 80 warm to me during
this seductive burst of confidence that he
would forget himself aud tell mo all about
his affairs before he suspected what was
about thought to myaelf, my so0, you
little know what an old fox you are deal.
ing with said;
Now. you never would guess what
made lecturing. this winter and lsst fall. "
No-don't believe | could, to savo
mo. Let me see - let me see. About
two thousand dollars, maybe2 But no
- no, sir, | know you couldn't havo made
that much Say seventeen hundred,
maybe2 ~
"Ha.ha know you couldn't. Ny
lecturing receipts for last spring and this
wntor were fourteen thousand, seven
hundred and fifty dollars What do you
think of tha.f"
"Why. it is amazing perfectly amaz.
ing. | will mako note Of it Ard you
cay even this wasn't allf"
"Ah! Why. bless you, the!e was my
income from the Buffalo Express for
four months about about-weI. what
should you say to about eight thousand
dollars for instance9'
Say? Why. | should say should
like to see myself rolling in just such
another ocean of aflluencc. Eight thou.
sand ! I'll make motto of it. Why.
man and on top Of all this am to
understand that you had still more ia.
Gomez"
"IIa ha ha Why, you're only in the
suburbs Of it, so to speak. There's my
book. The Innocenis Abroad price
SO so to IS, according to tho binding.
Listen 10 me- Look me in the eye. Dur.
Ing the last four months and half, cay.
ing nothing Of sales before thas-but Just
simply during the four monlhs and half
ending March Is, 1870, we've sold nine.
ty.fve thousand copies OF that book
Ninety yfye thousand Tank oft. Av.
erage four dollars q copy, say, It's near.
~ four hundred thousand dollars, nv son
| get half"
"The suffering Moses III set Mat
down. Fourteen seven City eight -
two hundred. Total, say-well, upon my
word, the grand total is about two hun
dred and thirteen OF fourteen thouaond
dollars. Is that possible ?"
Possible! IF thera's any mistake it's I
the other way. Two hundred and four.
teen thousand, cash. is my income for the
year, if know how 10 cipher"
Then the gentleman got up to go. 1t
Gam ovar mn tnaaf ,noonn corto kl,- L.
maybe l had made my revelations for
nothing, besides being Aattered iato
stretching them considerably by the
strangers sstonished excamations But
no; at the last moment the gentleman
handed me large envelope and said IT
contained his advertisement and tha,
would dud out all about his business in
it and that he would be happy to have
my custom would. In fact b. proud to
have tho custom Of a man Of such prodi. |
gious income and that he used to think
that there were several wealthy men in
Buffalo, but whon they came to trade |
with him he discovered that they barely
had enough TO live on aud that in truth |
It had been such q weary, weary age
since he hsl seen a rich man faoo TO face
and talked with him. and touched hin
with his hands, that he could hardly 10.
frain from embracing me-in fact. would
esteem II grear favor if would let him
embrace me.
This so pleased me that did not try
to resist, but allowed this simple hearted
stranger to throw his arns about mo and
weep few trsnquilzing tears down the
back Of my neck, Then be went his way.
As soon as he was gone. cpeued bis
advertisement, studied it stteptiyely