The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1876-09-14

tel! him that Nose breng 'em there
and sold 'em. What have you got to
say, boys? 1fyou've stole Uncle Ike's
mush milyons I'll lick yer within an
inch of yer lives .....
''Gracious You ought to seen Sam
my! He turned up that round, smirk-
in, one.sided face of hisen, and, look
in Uncle Ike square in thu eyes, said :
"'You're a 2snice,ole-uncle' to
come here and twit me an Nose
of stealin' yer gol derned ole
mush milyons. Don't nobody
raise mllyons in this town of Leb'non
but you? You ought to be ashamed of
yerself. I'D likesto see ye prove EN-
yoprn, what are We goin' to do about
ite Say?'
AT first Uncle Ike was so TUX down
by Sammy's sass, that he began to feel
sheepish like,end wuz about to beg the
family parding and go, when that
last m'stortunate remark about pr0vin'
prop ty rlled him agin, and says he,
Sammy, stay on yer boss jest a mint.
Praps you kin bluff lie, and praps you
can't. Praps you don't know how It I
cut the letter II onto the seed end Of
every mush milyon into my gardiug,
and should know 'em in Tophet, where
you'll be most apt to git lick at >sich
fodder If you are lucky enough to eat
anything as GOBLIN as milyons in the
future life.'
.Oh,' says Sammy, then you know
they're yourn. And, say, Uncle Ike,
I'm glad you WIZ smart enough to cut
the front corner Of yer fust name
unto them milyons. think I know
the chaps that stole 'em. l told 'em
Sunday arter you treated us so nice,
that it would be durn mean to 90 and
steal your milyons, but they didn't
mind what said.
"s I'm ashamed of my sext. I'm
boy, and it the Lord spares my life
I'll never marry and run the risk of
biingin' more boys into the world,
but I'll devote my life to exposin' sim
ners. I've been in the mush milyon
bizniz little, and bought and sold
milyons more or less, but who'd
thought I wuz dickering with a lot of
thieves !! 1t makes my blood bile to
think of it. But it is lucky for you
and the hull country tibet them mil
yons wuz sold to me. tt may be. the
means of breakin' up the all-fredest
mush milyon gang that ever cussed the
country. kin spot every one of 'em
and bring 'em to justice, though it II
take time and money and shall run the
risk of gittin' licked like thunder, for
the boys'll be awful mad. But it is
time sombody begun to bust these
nj srn 81 80
to 60 ahead if you amt afeard to fol-
ler.'
Sammy, says old Mr.. Tilden, 4
never wuz SO proud of ye afore in all
my born days. druther you'd steal
all the mush milyons in the County of
Klumby than not git a chance to be a
reformer, You re the stuff that Guv'-
ners and Pres dents is made out on.
Bless We, my boy ,
6 Sammy says Uncle Ike, with
tears rollin' down his face, I'm glad
such brave and honest boy has taken
hold of this thing; and if you'll tell
me the names of the boys that did the
stealth We needn't pay back nuthin on
the milyons, and I'll 60 snucks with We
on the money I get outen the boys
dads
"Waal, us boys all got an awful
lick en-, and our fathers paid Ike three
times the worth of the prop'ty to have
it hushed up. Sammy cleared about
fifteen dollars outen the entire con-
sarn, and got the name of bein' the
bravest and honestest boy in the hull
county, and was mentioned in the min
listers sarmint the next Sunday.
"But (and here the old man shook
his head and knocked the ashes from
his pipe) l don't know about SIGH
doins. I can't see why the biggest
thief in the hull lot should git paid
and all his tools git licked and dis
graced. That's what bothers me.
spose he's got over SIGH capers now.
He's old enough to do better any
how"
gave the old man 4 ticket to my
concert, and as I babe him good after
noon, and folded the paper on which
had written this narrative, as it fell
fresh and quaint from his lips, he
said:
Say, Mr.. Clark, I see you've been
writin' sumethin', but if We print
what I've tole We, don't give my name,
for Sammy and WIZ boys together,
and shall prob'ly vote for him, as I
never voted nothin' but the straight
Dimocrat ticket, and it's too late to
change nOw.'
If any of your readers desire the old
mans address, in confidence, I can
send it to them if they will mail me a
qtnmn mr. nOQta1 ,card at Svrocuco NJ v