Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1876-01-05
The Congress Gas.

Editor StGr:-When came TO Washington
a few years ago, i had been regarded rs a
man of fair abilities by the public OF my ma
tive county. My wife, indeed thought me
far above the average; but she may have
been partial, and am willing to put myself
before you at the public estimate-fair to
good Alas! the fine gold has become dim
med at Washington. 1 fear am gradually
becoming idIotic, owing TO long and useless
efforts to understand the monthly bills rem
dered BY the as-light Company. Ny first
mental beNildeTm2uL ] can distinctly trace
10 bill for August, 1873. Leaving for the
Adirondacks July 10th, L had stopped Off the
gas at the meter. Returning September 1st.
i found the gas bill just az big as everI
protested, but ended by paying, not being
willing tohavethe gas stopped Off altogether.
Next month burned great deal; but the
bill was only about q dollar larger. They
continued TO swell until January, but /
could see no connection between the rate of
enlargement of the bill with my consump
tion OF gas. About that time. conceiving
that would force that mythical man, the
meter-iDspectOr, TO see me or some OF nv
family at the end OF the month, so that we
might agree AS to the amount OF gas con-
sumed, had the meter removed from the
vesubule 10 the cellar, aud the cellar door
Kept locked; but the meter-man continued
invisible. The water got into the cellar and
overlooked the meter; then the cold weather
came on and the water was frozen aud re-
manned so a long time. / got no gas, but the
gas bills came with the regularity of month
ly pulse. When got thawed out again, / took
my revenge by getting up an illumination
every night; but the gas bills lessened as the
days grew longer. Every month i had q
pleasant conversation with the man at the
gas office. That estimable gentleman has
always assured me IL was all right, and
would be satisfied If would study my meter
Well, have studied the three little watch
faces on that instrument,-only, however, to
add to my intellectual' ObfuscatiOn. Once,
when had just paid q monthly bill of 50,
(my bills ali have marvellous knack of
coming out even dollars or half dollars, after
deductlng the percentage for cash paymeat,)
took up sadly the bright buff bill and soon
became deeply interested in the Endorsed
printing under the heading: g RO,c to reGi the
meter" When SqueerS pupil had spelE
''hOrse," he was sent ont to curry that ami
mai, so as TO make the spelling sink into his
memory. So my wife sent me out to read
tie meter. The result was awful: the bill
just paid represented the state of the meter
as 25,200; two days hal elapsed, and the
meter now showed 81 500. proving that in
two days l had burned l2.60O feet of gas,
worth, according to the charged rates, S3LG2!
AT the same rate, the bill for the month
would be S519.30, subject, of course, to the
usual discount for cash. Ny poor wife was
1nconsolable for the next two days, and said
often we would be ruined by that awful Gas
company, that no income could stand it, and
Sue would pack up at once and go to the
pOOr-hOuse; but went to the meter again,
and thatveTaciouS reporter of gas consumed,
indexed 81 600, showing that so far from
having consumed any gas in the last two
udys, we ndu SdN0u, tuu Ddl cildlRel up SUI
against the Gas company! That brought
wiley around again, but have felt good
deal dazed since that time in watching the
forward and retrogade movements OF thu
little bands on the meter faces, and wonder
ing how l will come out with that company
az the end of the month. i feel am growing
nervous and may bring up yet at DIR. Nichols
establishment on the hill.
have asked several Congressman and two
members of the Cabinet to explain the curl
Gus things about the gas-bills and the meters
so briefly adverted To; out they have all told
me they never had a gas bill presented to
them. This, too, is strange. Perhaps if a
good investigating committee, with long
noses, should be appointed, they might find
out some leaks in the gas light system Con-
gress has invented for Washington city.
Ny broker told me the stock was tremen-
dOusly watered but when ] ordered hun To
buy me some Of it, he reported, after a weeks
chase, that none could be had, except at near
~ treble par value.
Perhaps if ali who have had experience in
gas would let the public have IL, more light
would be shed on dark corners which the
Gaslight Company does not illuminate 10 th
entire satisfaction of our citizens.
FIAT LUX.