Orangeburg news and times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1875-1877, 1876-04-08
Mark Twain's Duel.

Mark Twain con tributes tho follow
ing to Tom Hoods annual:
The only merit I claim for the fol-
lowing narrative is that it is true
story. It has Il moral on the end it,
but I claim nothing on that, rs it is
merely thrown in 10 curry favor with
the religious clement.
After / lad reported II couple Of
years ON the Virginia City (Ncvallu)
Daily Enterprise they promoted nc to
be cditor-in-chici; and lasted just Il
week by the wntcli. But made an
uncommonly lively newspaper while
I did last, and when l retired 1 had Il
duel OIL my hands and three horse
whippings promised nc.
The latter ] made no attempt to
collect; however, this history concerns
only the former. 1t was the old
"tush times" Of the silver excitement,
when the population was wonderfully
Wild and mixed; everybody went
armed to the teeth, and all sights and
insults had to be atoncd for with the
best article Of blood your system could
furnish. In the course Of my editing
| made trouble with u Mr.. Lord, the
editor of Il rival paper. He flew up
about some little tritlc or other that ]
said about liim-l ,lo not remember
now what it was. | suppose | called
him Il thief, or :, body-snatchcr, or an
idot, or something like that; | was
obliged to make hcpapcr readable,
and | couldn't fail iii my duty to Il
whole community Of subscribers mere
~ t. save The exaggerated scnsitivcncss
of an individual. Mr.. Lord was
offended, and replied vigorously III his
paper. Vigorously means great
dca! when it refers to Il personal edi
torial in Il frontier newspaper. Duel
ing WAS all The fashion among the
upper classes i'll that country, and a
very few gentlemen woul throw away
an opportunity Of fighting one. To
Kill one man in . duel caused Il man
to be even more looked up to ti:an 10
kiil two men in the ordinary way
We'll, out there il you abuse man
and that man did no, like 4, YOU had
to call Him ont and Kill him, other
wise you, mould be disgraced. SO !
challenged Mr.. Lord, and I did hope
he would not accept; but knew per
icctly well that he did not want To
fight, anil so challenged him in the
most Vi lent and imp acablc manner
And then / SAT Gown and snutlrd and
snnficd Till the answer came. All the
hoys--thc cditors-wcrc in The office
"helpny' me i'll the ,lisma business,
and tcllIn' about luels and discussing
the code with Il lot Of aged ruilians,
who had experience lh such matters,
and altogether there Was lovin.
interest taken in such matters hat
made me unspeukabiy Uncomfortable.
The answer came -!!r. Lord dcclin-
ell. Our boys were furious, and so
was | on the surface.
sent him another challenge. and
another, and the more lie did not
want TO fight the more bood.thrsticr
| became. But ut last the mans tone
began to change. He appeared to be
waking up. 1t WAS becoming uppnr-
cnt that he was going to fight me after
all ! ought to have known how il
would bc-hc was Il man who could
never be depended upon. Our boys
were jnbiIant. | was IL t, thoush |
tried hard TO be.
II was now time to go out and prac-
tlce. II was the custom there to fight
ducls with navy sixShootcrs ut fifteen
PAGES load and empty till the game
for ,hc funeral was secure. We went
to little ravinc Just out Of town and
borrowed a barn door for Il target
borrowed it from a gentleman who was
nbscnt--and we stood this barn door
mp, and stood IL rail on one end
against the middle Of it to represent
Lord, and put Il squash on top Of the
rail to represent his head. lie vas
very tall, lean creature, the poorest
sort of material for IL duel; nothing
but line shot could fetch him, anu
even then he night split yoLr bullet.
EXaggcra.ion aside, The rail was, Of
course, a little too thin to represent
the body accurately, but the squash
VAS all right. If there wasany in
tellcctual difference between the
squash and his head, it was in favor
OF The sqash.
We'll, | practiccd and practiccd ut
the barn door and could moi hit it;
and | practiccd at the rail and could
not hit that; and ] tried for the squash
and could not hiithat. would have
been entirely dishcartcncd but that
occasionally crippled Ole OF the boys,
and that gave me hope.
At last VIC lrrnn To hnar niStol