Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1876-09-09
Fearful Accident---The Rejected Dis.
patch.

About this time the circus agent
bursts into the county newspaper office
and says, breatllesSly:
"You the editor -
81 am, sir.
Correspondent for some of the me.
tropolitan press ?"
"Yes, sir"
"I've got the biggest sensation you
ever saw, and l want you to send it off
by special to all the big papers"
The editor gets out his pencil and
quire of printing paper, and says: "Pile
in"
The circus agent says: "Put down
that Blowhard's Gigantic Mammoth
Golden Megalothasallarian Circus-it's
big thing, l tell you, and am agent;
Barnum's is a sideshow to it, and Lent
would have to burst up and go home on
foot only our old man lent him money
have you got that down."
81 have"
"Well, add that we have been tenting
up in the Northwest and been coming
money everywhere, while all the little
one-horse concerns that get up big pos.
ters and obtain money under false pre-
lenses haven't been taking in stamps
enough to pay for their licenses-houses
papered, all of EN-"
"Go on"
"WelI, last week while we were mov-
ing the show from Oshkosh to Howville
in seven special trains and 163 cars, the
train carrying the Geological Carnivori-
um ran off the track and all the dens
were smashed to pieces and the animals
got loose
"Bless my soul, you don't say so !"
"The anaconda swallowed the only
real African giraffe in this country, i'm
ported specially for us at cost of
$158, 500, all but ten or fifteen feet of its
neck. The poor animals efforts to es
cape from its living tomb were frantic,
and the look of dumb, almost human,
agony in its large, lustrous black eyes,
moved the sternest advance agent to
tears"
"Dear me !"
"Then the royal Bengal tiger, the
Sumatran lion, and the big horned rhi-
noceros got into three-cornered fight,
and tho way in which the air was full of
howls, and dust, aid blood, big chunks
of meat like sirloin steaks a-whizzing
round-it makes me shudder to think of
it,"
Z" 1t must have been terrible"
"Terrible amt no word for it. Then
the Chiaspian gigantic orang outang and
the blue faced gorilla came up with
clubs formed of saplings sixteen feet
long, and as big round as your leg, and
sailed in like policemen into primary
meeting, and in 2:143 they had tiattened
out them tigers, and lions, and rhlnoc-
crosses, till there wasn't one of them
dared say his soul was his own"
Wonderful wonderful !"
"You're Just talking. Then the ele-
phaut, Mercutio, turned wild with fear
and rage, and trumpeting like thunder
storm, ran into fold where a farmer
had flock of 100, 900 merino sheep, and
such mutton Juggling I never saw III my
life. He'd just yank up sheep with
his trunk, and give him a jerk, and
zip that sheep would go shooting
through the air, and come down flat as q
pancake six hundred or seven hundred
yards off. 1t was just old chain light
ming, and it would have made your eyes
stick out to see it. Why, once he had
seventeen sheep in the air at once."
"How many lives lost =
"None, thank Heaven. We always
have q steam fire engine filled with
chloroform on the train with us, and as
soon as we could get it out and get
steam up we begun playing on them,
and, of course, when they were stupe-
fed, it was the easiest thing in the world
to catch them and put them back in the
cages"
81 understand; but how about that
poor giraffe ?"
ooh, we gave the anaconda barrel
of emetics, and the giraffe came up kit
ing, but the action of the anaconda s
gastric Juice has taken all the color off
OF his hindquarters and half-melted OIL
his hoofs."
"How wonderful are the works of
nature !"
"You bet. Now sock it to them red
hot and lively, and I'll ante up all the
tickets to the show you want.
The editor does so, and goes to bed to
dream that he is an anaconda trying to
swallow long necked circus, marked
especial complimentary" when he is
wakened by the telegraph boy, who
brings him the following:
"Your special about circus accident
refused. Please pay bearer $65. a."