The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-30
Wit and HuntOr.

Wit aud HumOr.
TWEED evidently doesn't believe in
small sails and quick returns.
CARD of an absconding debtor" For
further particulars, see small bills
Why is Christmas like a general mis-
take Because it is a comm nearer
Common error.
ALL men are not homeless, but some
men are home less than others.-NeaO
orleans Republican.
SOCRATES says that "the hottest love
has the coolest end" Xanthippe had
probably made the old man sit out on
the doorstep all night VoSke''s &C.
zette. $40
HUXLEY contends that frog is only
bird without feathers and so fsh-ball
must be only base ball with the wrap
per knocked off, and stone is only an
apple dumping gone to seed.
"CHAM" in the ChGrivnri-A long
line of gibbets, ornamented with Serbs,
the last of whom is being strung up by
the Turks. That is how they interpret
suspension till next March,
UNREPoRTED "atrocity" in the city
City miscreant "Where did you
go this autumn 2" Brown-Scarboro.
Well, did you enjoy your holiday, OF
did you take your missis Punch.
A FASHION WRITER in New York says
"The difference between fashionable
hat and fashionable bonnet is very
simple. One is worn over the ear and
the other is worn over the nape Of the
neck"
ScHoonrG1R1 of essay, Johnnie
when you was in No. did you have to
put your hands behind you and bow like
this (bowing)?" Johnnie, aged 8 ICON
temptuously)-" No. 6! I don't remem-
Der when T aU0S in No. g."
A SUNDAY. SCHOOL teacher was giving
lesson in Ruth. She wanted to bring
out the kindness of Boaz in command
ing the reapers to drop large handfuls
of wheat. "Now, children" she said,
" Boaz did another nice thing for Ruth;
can you tell me what it wass" Married
her p said one of the boys.
THE editor of the st. Louis Dispatch
takes much pains to show that he isn't
bald-headed. GA woman's hand" he
says, chow beautifully nodded how
faultless in symmetry! how soft and
white and yielding, and oh I! how much
of gentle memory its pressure conveys.
Yet we don't like it in our hair. ;"
AN athletic specimen of the Emerald
Isle called on wharfinger for job.
"The top o. the mornin' to We, Muster
P, I've been told that ye're In want OF
help" "I've but little to do" replied
P, with mercantile gravity. "I'm the
very boy for yees! It's but little care
about doing the money I'm afther,
sure!"
ONE night we we're sitting out of
doors in the moonlight, unusually silent,
almost sad. Suddenly, some one-a
poetic-looking man, with gentle, lovely
face-said in a low tone s. Did you ever
think of the beautiful lesson the stars
teach us?' We gave vague appre-
ciative murmur, but some soulless clod
said j: emo; what is itp F" How to
wink" he answered, IN sad, sweet
voice.
The editor of the Franklin (Ky.) Pat
riot, more blessed with labor-sav1ng
machinery than the majority OF his
brethren, thus chants the praises Of
useful invention:
Tother evening we were lying
In our sanctum, vainly trying
To invent some local items for our valuable sheet,
When fiend" who thought us sleeping,
To our desk came softly creeping,
Picked up late exchanges and then started Tor
the street.
Then the air grew denser, thicker,
AS our old "Bogardus Kicker"
Raised the grim, audacious stranger through the
window with crash
Just lifted him so neatly
That he disappeared completely,
With his shoulders ornamented with a shattered
Window-sash.
And the stranger still is hieing
Through the atmosphere a-fying,
With flag of truce" protrudlng through the hole
"Bogardus" tore;
And the soothing thought comes DER us
That he never more will bore us
Never come to steal exchanges from our sanctum
more.