davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17
THE sTAGE-AGANAGER. 4
sr INWARD n. xrppEn.

The audience knew him not,
Save on occasions rare aud dire, ...
When he'll apologize with skill
OR quiet an alarm OF IRE :"
Yet every set that charms the " house -
The " magic mountains. broad and high,
The "battle- neld !" the "Queens boudoir -
Owes beauty to his practiced eye.
He forms the ballet for their "groups,"
With all the " old ones far from view;
He keeps the war-like "mob In check
Until they get their proper cue;
Upon the I. first nights Of the play
He'll .sbold the book when all are 81 strange,
And dance around from wing " 10 wing"
To "give the word " or ring the change"
He cuts the speeches, /" casts 4" the play
II there's no q prompter, +" writes the ''ca,l :"
But by the ThespiaDs, strange to say,
He's very seldom liked Mt all
They look upon him with dstrust,
And hidden motives seem to know;
But should he ever dare 10 I" act Fl"
They view him as their mortal foe!
II he IL gentle in his ways
And smiles, no matter what IL said,
The company believe him "weak,
And soon his discipline has fed.
II in his measures he ia stern,
And all his ways are formed to suit,
He's called "tyrant by the men,
And by the ladies known az " Brute"
(f"grand spectacular effects"
He fully knows the 'ways and means;"
He's fine in - military plays"
Add great y on - transformation scenes.
He knows when a. calciums" should be used
And where the footlights should prevail,
And feels mt home in " srnlit glades,"
Or midst Che bowling Of the gale!
Insisting on "iudicious cuts"
He puts the % author" in a rage,
And by a thousand nameless ways
Promotes the splendors OF the stage.
IIA NAaf do mo "A RAJ ~
And nearer draw to natures way,
And aids IL with artistic skl,
And honest labor day by day.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17
Wit and HumOr.

A cENTURY-PLANT: Burying the corpse
of person 100 years old.
The saying, Excuse haste and bad
pen" has been attributed to a pig who
ran away from home.
WHAT is the nearest thing to a cat
looking out of the Windows Why, the
window of course.
BOARDING SCHOOLS fit young ladies for
keeping boarders after they marry and
have husband to support.
UNMARRIED girls in Vestula have to
clipping business is not good in that
locality.
THE only European complications in
which the ladies take much interest are
the Hertz that give in-ah, and the
Basque provinces. --Kater-Ocean.
FARMERS daughter-'' What nasty,
wet weather we've, been having lately,
Mr.. Swizzle." Mr.. Swizzle-"O, yes,
Miss Betty, very wet, indeed; but its
been mainly outside wi me. Fun.
/" PLENTY of milk in your cans, this
morning." the customer asked a milk
man yesterday morning. And the milk
man nodded gravely as without wink
in his eye he made reply, "Chalk full"
A VERY precise person, remarking
upon Shakspeare's line, ha'
The good men do is oft inferred with their bones,
carefully observes that this interment
can generally take place without crowd
ing the bones. I.aa ll-ml
The Herald and Presbyter deals out
drop of sarcastic comfort to stingy
souls by saying, st is easy to drop a
nickel into the contribution box and re-
feet that our Lord commended one who
gave less"
A CLERGYMAN had just united in mar
riage a couple whose names were re-
spectively Benjamin and Ann. "How
did they appear during the ceremony 2"
asked friend. They appeared
both Anniemated and Benniefitted," was
the reply.
FROM the following paragraph one
would think there is an intention to
raise tai students out in Wisconsin.
An exchange paper says: 9" Its Board
of Education has resolved to erect
building large enough to accommodate
500 students three stories high"
WOULD rut1er vote Tor Inc devil
than for you" was what an American
sovereign told candidate in a saloon.
"But in case your friend should not
come forward, said the unabashed as
pirant for office, "might 1 then count
upon your assistance 2" The glass
glanced from off his cheek and ho passed
out.
A PERSONAL advertisement in Gin
cinnad paper says: "A young blonde
widow would like to correspond with
middle aged coal merchant" Evident
ly for the purpose Of making coalition.
But what kind of coal does see prefer2
Evidently not anthracite, for she wishes
marriage by tu-men. = Philadelphia
Bulletin.
."WHo is he ?" said passer-by to
policeman, who was endeavoring to raise
an intoxicated individual who had fallen
into the gutter. "Can't say, sir ~ re-
piled the policeman; "he can't give no
account of himself" "Of course not I"
replied the other, chow can you expect
an account from a man who has lost his
balance {"
He" But why, if 1 mus. ask, do Won
decline my offer9" She" Well, since
you press for a reason, because you
are" He-"Such rough. ugly fell
low, you would sayl Agreed ! but you
know beauty is only skin deep" She
+" Nor is ugliness, suppose. But you
needn't be ugly all through"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17
Probable Loss of a Transatlantic Dory

The attempt of Charles Madison to
cross the ocean alons in a dory has prob
ably resulted fatally to the adventurer,
since nothing has been heard of him or
his frail craft for six or eight weeks, and
the perils of such an undertaking are
well-nigh insurmountable, even under
the most favorable conditions, as was
shown by the experience of Capt. John
SON, of the Centennial, who declares
that he would not attempt the feat again
for 81, O0O,0 900. Madison left New York
about the 9Th of July, and when two
days out had his main boom broken.
July 16 he boarded the British schooner
Newport, where he remained about ten
minutes, and later on he boarded the
ship Beeth oven, and provisioned his
little craft for the continuation of bis
voyage, since which time nothing has
been heard from him.-Cdpe Ann
(Mass.) Advertiser.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17

SANKEY is accustomed to tell, as the
origin OF Hold the Fort" about Sher-
mans message signalled to Gen. Corse,
at Altoona, "Hold the fort-I am COM
ing." The evangelist, however, does
not quote Gen. Corse's reply, which was
81 am short cheek-bone and an ear,
but am able to whip all hell yet"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17

A NEW, WONDERFUL and simple way to
stop consumption and cure colds, 10y DIR. j. IL.
Mcf,eans Cough and Lung Healing Globules,
which dissolve, creating gas which Is inhaled,
eases. Trial boxes, rs cents, by mail. DR.. j..
III. Mclean, 3l4 Chestnut street, st. Louis.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17

STURGEON does not like men who come
into church with squeaky boots, on
women with ever-falling parasois.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-17

nation2'
Indeed you may, Bodkin,' said
Williams T; and funny one it is, too
"And then he explained the whole
matter to the Captain, adding that my
namesake sometimes INDUCED In q little
too much after dinner, and that in the
excitement of the alteration he no
doubt forgot his incognito, and gave his
card with his own name Oh it and that
in all probability he woke in the morn
ing soberer and wiser man, and de-
camped without beat of drum. The ex-
PLANTATION proved entirely satisfactory,
for Bodkin knew Williams well, and
placed implicit reliance on anything he
said /; anu, indeed, the solution, though
strange, was credible. Pat was sent to
summon Joyce, who came at once, for
In truth he was waiting the issue in an
other room, and was now shown in to
meet his enemy face TO face.
Joyce, let me introduce You to my
friend, Mr.. Owen Jones, said Williams.
Joyce, a fine, frank.looking fellow,
turned sharply round and stared at me.
That's not the man at all, said he.
Z" That's Mr.. Owen Jones', said the
Captain. He won'tapologize and UNI
less you fight him, I'm afraid you'll get
nobody else to fight with.
"Then the Captain burst out laugh
ing, and Williams burst out laughing,
and then l couldn't help laughing, too.
And Joyce looked in amazement from
one to the.other of us, as if we.were all
mad. Bodkin was the first to recover
himself, and then he told all to Joyce,
who listened throughout without NOV
ing muscle, then he reared out, laugh
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
MISCELLANEOUS GLEANINGs.

General Sherman says that all the available
troops in the North and West have been or
dered to the Indian country, and that the num-
Der will be amply sufficient to defeat the hostile
tribes. He does not believe, however, that the
Indian question can be settled until the Gov
eminent enters upon the policy of depriving
the Indians Of their ponies, and compelling
them to go on foot. When this is done, the
Indians will be comparatively powerless, and
those upon their reservations will never VEN
ture to leave them to go upon the war-path.
There was a slight frost in Northern New
York and in the region of Madison, Wis, on
the night of July "a.
Gen. Sheridan reports from Chicago that
everything is progressing satisfactorily and
will be in shape for a resumption of active OPP
erations against the Indians in few weeks
The plan of campaign determined upon is q
combined movement of three columns with
Fort Ellis as a base. Two of these columns
will move directly against the Indians, and one
against their villages. The troops Of the diff
ferent columns will aggregate about 8, 900 to
1000, with the physical features of the country
decidedly against them. An engagement is
expected early in August. The military force
have taken charge of all the agencies in the
Sioux country, and the Indians in their vi, mi
ties arc kept under rigid surveillance. This
measure of precaution is designed to prev Mt
an accession to the savage forces when the
news of the Custer fight reaches these Indiaus.
The flax crop Of Canada is the largest ever
raised.
Official returns show that in 1875 the Do
minion OF Canada imported agricultural prod
ucts to the value of SIS, 4s2, 231, and exported
agricultural products to the value of 1928 525, E.
005. Indian corn was the only cereal Of which
the imports exceeded the exports
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
POLITICAL POINTS.

The Missouri Democrats have nominated
Hon. John 8. Phelps for Governor. Mr.. Phelps
was Representative in Congress for many
years, PRIOR to the war.
The President has appointed Samuel Hooper,
of Iowa, Consul at Glasgow.
The President has nominated George F. Tai
bot, Of Maine, to be Solicitor Of the Treasury,
ce Bluford Wilson Thomas ]. Brady, of In
lana, to be Second Assistant Postmaster Gen
era, vice ]. N. Tyner, promoted; William A.
Hathorne Massachusetts,. Consul at Zanzibar
and Herman Van Aernam, New York, Consul
at Guyana.
The official canvass of Colorado's vote on the
State constitution has just been made, and a
certified copy of the returns forwarded to Wash
ington, on reception of which the President will
issue his proclamation declaring Colorado adj
mitted into the Union. The majority for the
constitution is II, 7O4 out OF total vote OF
10 49, The first election for State officers will
take place the first Tuesday in October, and
the Republican State Convention will meet at
Pueblo, Aug. 20.
The Democrats of the Seventh Illinois Dis
trict have nominated Hon. William r. Morrison
for reelection to Congress.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
The Indian War.

Advices from Bismarck to July 22
convey the following intelligence
"Sittiug Bull was undoubtedly killed
in the Little Horn battle. His body
was recognized by Frank Girard, an in
terpreter at Gen. Terry's headquarters,
who has been among the Indians the
last twenty-six years. 1t now turns out
that Goodnow, Sioux ut Fort Rice, two
DAYS before, gave a detailed plan OF
Sitting Bulls campaign, including the
abandoned village, and the larger village
to which it was intended to decoy the
troops, together'with description OF the
ground. His description of Sitting Bull
agrees perfectly with the body found,
and the Indian chief ut Standing Rock
also says Sitting Bull was killed, to-
gether with Black Moon, Crazy Horse,
and six other chiefs.
"The entire Indian loss was between
800 and 400. The hostiles have been
reinforced with over 200 from Standing
Rock Agency alone.
Indians came into the outer camps
at Standing Rock wearing the clothing
and arms of the Seventh Cavalry officers
and men.
"The steamer Josephine arrived fro m
the Yellowstone this morning wi tn
dispatch from Terry, who is still
at the mouth of the Big Horn await
ing reinforcements. The Indians are in
the vicinity of Clusters battle round,
still defiant. The Far West reached the
mouth of Powder River on Tuesday. A
train of thirty-nine wagons arrived from
Crook City this morning; no Indians on
the rO,Ite ar traces of them
cit is stated that there are less than
300 lodges of Indians at Standing Rock
where there should be 1000 and that the
agency is completely robbed of arms.
The Indians have moved the few remain
ing women and children to the east side
of the river for protection, claiming to
fear an attack OH the agency from the
whites. Well-informed persons bell eve
that $500 warriors from the agency
alone are in the hostile camp"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
Definition of n King.

"Our boy Swipes," says California
paper, is regular attendant at Sun
day school. Last Sunday his teacher
was explaining n chapter to the class in
the book Of Kings. After delivering
herself of what she thought to be a very
entertaining DISCOURSE, she asked the
class, What is a kingl' This was a
poser to the class. Finally our boy
Swipes, who is the pride Of the Sunday
school, held up his hand. This made
his teacher smile benignly, for she was
proud to see him so ready with an an
swer so she said, well, Swipes, what
is kingF well, miss, you see, when
you get in the king-row and put a
checker on him, why then he's a king
and when somebody leads jack and
another fellow plays queen in pedro,
you can make his eyes hang out by tax
ing 'em both with king.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
Unriyaled Observation-Disclosures.

The Hartford Courant says : alt is
pretty we'll established that if there's any
bug especially disgusting the turkey will
look ont for it. In the California region
last year the best fields were saved from
complete destruction by caterpillers by
these birds, and now it has been found
out over in Rhode island that the potato
bug is the favorite of the turkey, and a
nourishment upon which it fattens lib
orally. No doubt, if there should come
along any other pest to rival caterpillars
and beetles, the turkey wouldalso devour
that. Certainly the bird has earned
place at our Thanksgiving tables, even if
these interesting developments as to its
development create wonder regarding
the peculiar sweetness of its flesh.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28

Custer on the Little Big Horn. Meanwhile,
Gen. Merritt who has forced the Cheyennes
back to their agency, has left Fort Laramie,
and will join Crook about the 9th Of August,
which will give Crook force OF 1887 men,
not including officers packers, and camp
followers, or probably 1000 men all told
Meanwhile, Gen. Terrys column Is march,
ing southwark TO unite his force and Co
operate with Crook but, shou he fail TO
make the junction on the 9Th of August, when
Merritt arrives Crook will at once strike the
Indians-if the Indians wait in their present
locality.
A dispatch from La Crosse, Wis, to the Chi
cago Tribune says: The most Encouraging
reports regarding the condition OF the growing
crops continue TO come to us from North
ern Iowa, Southern Minnesota, and North
western Wisconsin. Wheat in some localities
il reported az total failure, while the best re-
port as fair. Barley and oats are good crop.
Corn is fair.
south.
Five young girls, ranging in age from z to 16
years, were drowned in Contrary lake. near st.
Joseph, No.. one day last week, by the capsiz-
ing OF small row boat.
Grasshoppers on the line Of the Sioux City
and st. Paul railroad are doing great damage to
the crops.
A dispatch from Eureka, CAL, dated July "a
says about o'clock last night cloud burst
on Diamond Range mountains, thirteen miles
east Of here, which resulted in the death Of
thirteen Chinese wood-choppers, and probsbly
large number Of Italians camped in the
canon getting out timber. Without a mo-
ment's warning a column Of water two feet
high washed upon them, drowning all but one
Of the Cinnamon. The Italians were camped
short distance above, and as no trace can be
found it is feared all persisted"
The Indiana State Board of Equalization has
just concluded the work of assessing the main
tracks, side tracks, and rolling stock of the
railroads in the State for 1876. The total
number of miles of road is 3,905, and the total
assessment of property is S38, 294513. The
decrease from last years assessment is
$142, 4O6.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
NEWS. OF THE WEEK
FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.

Paris dispatch states that the six great
powers are in daily communication relative to
Eastern affairs, with view of establishing a
general agreement 40 as to be in readiness to
take advantage Of any opportunity to exercise
moral influence. 1t is understood that gen.
eral understanding Of all powers exists, the
system of exclusive agreement between the
three Northern empires having apparently been
abandoned.
Our Indian war is attracting the attention of
John Bull. In the House of Commons, the
other day, member took occasion to
ask the Under-Secretary for the Colo
NAL Department for information whether
the difficulty between the United States and
the Sioux had not been caused by treaty viola
tons on the part of the whites, and the effect
OF which might be to extend the trouble among
the Indians on British territory, and wanted to
know whether England intended to interfere
in the matter. The Undergraduates were based
on the assumption that some Of Sitting Bulls
followers are British subjects, but the Under
Secretary replied that he had no information
to this effect, and that the Government did not
intend to interfere in the matter.
Vienna telegram says the instruction in
Bulgaria is reviving in all directions. All the
roads are becoming insecure because Of in
surgent bands.
The latest reports from the seat Of war in
Turkey are favorable to the Servians. They
have repulsed two formidable attacks Of the
Turks, and have gained an important strategi-
Cal point.
Accounts Of barbarities practiced by Turkish
over the cable. The destruction OF whole vii
lagos and the massacre OF thousands of their
inhabitants are again reported, and 80 far con
frmed that the Sultan's Government has been
compelled to take vigorous measures for the
repression of such outrages.
The Servian army is constantly receiving re-
Inducements.
Austria complains Of breach Of neutrality
by Turkish war vessels, and demands imme-
diate satisfaction.
The extradition question was discussed in the
English House of Lords last week. Negotia-
tons for new treaty are progressing salts
factorily.
The Mexican revolutionists have sustained
another crushing defeat. The battle occurred
on the railway, near Orizaba. The insurgents
lost 700 in killed and prisoners, and all theil
ammunition and artillery.
The London Telegraph announces that let
tiers from Henry M. Stanley the famous ex
plorer, have been received, dated April "a, fit.
teen days march from Ukiki.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
Something Hot.

Writing from Calcutta, India, in 1887,
Mscaulay said: eve are annually
baked four months, boiled four more,
and allowed four more to get cool if we.
can. At this moment the sun is blazing
like furnace. The earth, soaked with
oceans of rain, is steaming like wet
blanket. Vegetation is rotting all around
us. Insects and undertakers are the
only living creatures that seem to enjoy
the climate" The year before, in May,
of 1886, he wrote Gone execrable
effect the climate produces 1t destroys
oil the works of man with scarcely an
exception. Steel rusts, razors lose their
edge, thread decays, clothes fall to
pieces. books molder away and drop
from their bindings, plaster cracks,
timber rots, mating is in shreds. The
sun and the steam of this vast alluvial
tract, and the infinite army of white ants,
make such havoc with buildings that a
house requires complete repairing every
three years"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
WASHINGTON NOTES.

A Washington dispatch of the 10Th says
"Gov. Chamberlain, of South Carolina, ar
rived here to-day, and had a consultation with
Secretary Cameron and Attorney General Taft
regarding the recent trouble at Hamburg.
the views Of the general Government are upon
this affair and they are substantially to the
eff It that the State Of South Carolina should
execute its laws and bring to prompt trial and
punishment parties who are guilty Of having
melted the riotous demonstrations and murders
Just reported
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
The SerYian Forces.

The total forces are officially estimated
at 156, 900 men. The second ban of the
active army comprises $1,000 men.
Military service is obligatory from the
age Of 80 to 30. The system of conscrip-
ton is in operation. The standing army
is on an average composed of 5000 men,
of which 1000 are infantry, divided into
four battalions, consisting of,,four COM
panies, 1000 pioneers, and 1,600 artil-
cry. There is but one squadron of cav
airy, composed of 122 sabers, a detach-
ment of body guards, and the gendarm.
erie. The Servian artillery contains
30 field batteries, portion of which are
breech-loading. In 1871 the Emperor
William presented Prince Milan with
rs French rifed guns and mitrailleuses.
According TO the numer-
Gus foreign officers, especially Russians,
have reinforced the Servian staff. One
of the latter, Gen. Tchernayeff, holds
the commandment of Prince Milan's
troops. In 1871 the armament in rifles
attained the number of 230, 900, of which
III, 600 are breech-loading peabody and
Gruner systen). Servia can easily put
100, 900 men in line, one half of which
are good troops, and will be able to OBJ
pose the Turks. Military spirit and
aptitude are strongly developed, and the
10000 Servians which belong to Austria
are considered to be the best i'm the I'm
perial army.-Pdrjs Constitutional.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
Carelessness and Ignorance.

A Brooklyn assistant postmaster has
compiled a curious table of statistics,
showing that, from one cause and anoth-
er, and owing to carelessness or igno-
rance, there were 115, LAG letters, postal
cards and papers dropped into the
Brooklyn postoffice during the year
ending June 80, 1876, which could not
be mailed. Among the principal reasons
given in the table are an insufficiency OF
postage, letters without any stamps, let
tiers with revenue stamps on, letters
with stamps on that had been used once,
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
CONGRESSIONAL SUMMARY.

WEDNESDAY July Observation-Disclosures
ton Of the articles of impeachment was resumed,
and John s. Evans, the Fort Sill post .-ader, was
examined. He testified that Belknap was ignorant
of the understanding between him and the de-
ceased and the present Mrs. Belknap, but admitted
that Belknap brought him and Marsh together when
the arrangements were made, and the whole of
the evidence Of both Evans and Crosby, the chief
CLERK OF the department (who also testhcd), was
damaging 20 BE KNAPP Conference reports on the
army and Sundry Civil Appropriation bills were
agreed TO.
HoUse.-Jones, from the Committee on Rail-
roads, reported bin incorporating the United
States Central Railroad Company. for the construc
ton Of passenger and freight railway from Chi
cage, through indianapolis. Lexington. Ky, Afh-
ville N. c.. and spartansburg s. c., TO Char,est n,
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28

full of flowers, his hat lost, and hair
streaming, he dashed by the grand stand
utterly unable to control his fiery steed.
But with all the excitement Of the mo-
ment he did not forget to salute the
President and Generals ON the stand in
gallant style that filed the spectators
with admiration"