American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-01-22
A Sleepy Town.

THERE are crimes which are committed
so skillfully and deity that they are clas-
sifed among the fine arts, and compel ad-
miration. There are others which have
features about them SO comical as to COM
pei laughter, although they may in reality
be of very grave character. To the lat
ter class belong the operations of a gang
OF thieves at Osborn, MO, on last Friday
night. The town itself hitherto has been
unknown to fame. We do not find it on
the maps, neither is 1t included in the last
United States census, from the fact prob
ably that the people were all asleep when
the census taker went his rounds through
that place. Geographically, however, it
is on the Hannibal l. St. Joseph Railroad,
and, as it contains two hotels, several
stores and private residences, there must
be considerable population. In any
event, there were sufficient to attract the
attention CT an enterprising and thorough
ly impartial gang of thieves, who went
into the business by wholesale, and cleaned
out the town. They commenced opera
tions by breaking into the drug store,
where they found sufficient chloroform for
all the inhabitants, black, white and In
dians, men, women and children. Arm
ing themselves with the insldiOus and
somnOient drug, they went the grand
rounds from house to house, including
tHC tWO AotClS, duu Ilc Ill
to the snoring noses, regardless of the nerv-
GUS condition of the patients or their
adaPtability to anasthetics. The drug
worked to charm. The town of Osborn
was speedily oblivious to the cares of this
world or its pleasures. 1t was as dead tor
the time being as a petrified forest or the
catacOmbs. The thieves made short, sharp
work of it. Locks, bolts and bars flew
asunder. PantalOon- pockets were turned
inside out. Old stockings and teapots
were rummaged. Bureau drawers were
rificd. Weaknesses disgorged their tick,
ing contents. Pillow cases were turned
up. Safes were broken open. Cash
drawers were unlocked. In very short
time there was u contraction of the cur
rency in Osborn, Mo. 1t was a town
without a dollar. There was no prefer
ence displayed. When the population
woke up from its abnormal condition all
were upon the same footing. One man
had as much money as another, and no
one had any. Rich mems safes and
m isers' old ea-kettles were in the same
lean condition. Meanwhile the robbers
gathered their plumber together and rode
away in safety from the Odorous town,
leaving its Inhabitants snoring, granting,
singing, signing and laughing, according
to their respective idiosyncrasies, as
chlOrOfOrmed patients are accustomed to
do. One can family imagine the appear
ance of the population of Osborn, Mo-,
when it arose on Saturday morning. Most
people who take chloroform act and look
when they recover from its effects as if
they had been on agigantic spree, and this
must have been the appearance of Osborn,
Mo-, after its remarkable night 1t is a
little remarkable that the thieves did not
carry out their aniesthetical programme to
its strictly logical conclusion by pulling a
tooth from each woman's jaw and saving
off II leg from each able bodied male
i, Chicago Tribune, Jan. IL.