, 1876-05-02
THE FRUITS OF ADVERTlS1NCl
OF, THE DouDTER CONVINCED; a DnAaiA IN HlvH
ACTS.

l.
"pshaw!" said tho old man sosti'y. - ho
amote sharply on tho sidewalk With bis gold
headed stick. "suppoae there Is stxty-uine ool-
umns Of advertising in TIE Tribune and 2.0a5
advertisements. What does 1t provo? Why, Just
that there Is 2,o85 fools IN tho city; that's all,
Mo ono over reads tho advertisements. lnevee
do, except tho personals. ,"
"Int," SAID his interlocutor, tllldty, Tho
Advertisements ate read
"Pooh nonsense, stuff and uonsense!" re-
torted tho old man "rhy, I'd put hslt co,-
umn in Tnx Tribune aud nobody'd over ansHor
the notice. Don's toll mai " and hs smoto again
on the sidewalk.
"Woll." said bis intoElocutor. "l'll put fyo-
ne I'd 1a.o TIE Sgxn11 Tap9s and
Il will. young man; and then you'll DO oon-
vlnccd that nobody reads tho advertisements"
How mach will 1t be p asked the young man. az,
after waiting tho hours in the long l.ue OF ad-
veltssrs in tho couutuR'room, he at last reach
cd the advetsialng clerk. ....
"ons dollar aud sixty cents ai.," atfably TO-
uNE next day appeared tho following:
II ar;t. q s.nt!em.n: shdls.s v!doxsF: .i'hss to
fsspss. 9ia.es. s % F1Ssne atss. q sppi, tos5 % Il
| Early yesterday morning flood tia- ot young
American wiaows rushed up West Madison
street. There vera from fiyb TO fiftoeu on each
cas. and the atroets woro black with thom. +. !.
The old man who thought there was nothing In
advertising Was at breAkfaat. with tho wife Of
| hiB bo6om when there cano tremendous tug
It tue door-beil. Presently tue servant girl Gu
tered aud said: ''Ileso'a lady upstairs wanta
to soc you, sir." ''Dido't nho giYo hcr nano?"
inquired tho old mans VITO. who has IN aouiltuo
nose, ovor which tho akin is tightly drawn, and
wears Dor hair IN ring!sts AZ olEvoe aa a.anll-
servant. ..Whatis is she liko7" questioned tbs
| woman, with Ah1rp look over hor spnctaclos.
"a young womau. MN, dFossed IN black, With
red hair," 20, ono Of the Sunday-tchool teach
ers, Ia'poso." Baid tto old nlnn. caseessly. 20,
IB'roso 30, replied his holpmoot with q aniff.
terv;eTed ole wiiow 10 tho front parIor; thoro
we.o fur more in the back parlor, two In tho
hall, and heyon roosttng on tho ntcps. while
down tho street, ~ fur Al tho eyo, aided by tho
must powerful epcctnclea, could reach, more
young American widows could be scon.
"Whas the vulsures is thar, will tho
csrcaHea DO gathered tosether." said tho
II, "Whas'n Jerusalem my happy homo does
ali this msau p 80 saying. ho stopped into tho
back patlor,, when hia ears weEo palnted :mith =
voEoy Of crics as four young American widows
pressed towards him: II was horo first" ''Hhe
pushed mo down the front steps jlst as was
| going to ring The bol" "Hes names JomimA
ssubbB though sho calls lossclt Elise Annaoella
out u hor ca!ves." .ssbe pants" 'Them'a
pads." ...rhat's q sweet widow; her husbands
boarding With FELTON, for 203 da7a" Then tho four
willows pitched in for free light, during which,
while the air was thick with fase tooth. crimps,
halr-pina, Blandor, pslplta,ora. pusties, bran
jute switches, and things, tho old man Escaped,
saving to his vito that It uan all horeld uroam.
10, yes, t,orrld dream I'll holEid droan
thetu, AMID tho old mans Wifo.