Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-06-15

moor. There, now. exclaimed his
wife, we've lost our dinner" "Oh,
no, my dear" answered he, ''it's
safe, | have got my foot on it,"
A Chicago boy who is addicted to
going to theatre to see the heavy
drama, called his father to supper
the other day by bawling out:
"What, no, there, base craven!
Come hither to thy yesperian hash"
A married couple resemble pair
of shears, so joined that they cannot
well be separated, moving often in
opposite directions, but always pun
ching whatever comes between
them.
"How much did he leave?' in
CURED gentleman of a wag, on
learning the death of a wealthy citi-
zen. Everything" responded the
wag, she didn't take a dollar with
him."
The Glenwood Opinion has this
advertisement: "2, 500 bushels of
potatoes, | now have in cellar that
will be sold for 5 cents per bushel.
Come, everybody, and feed your
pigs, cows and calves, cheaper than
on corn or bran"
"a Presbyterian hotel has been
already opened in Philadelphia.
viii our Methodist and Baptist
brethren stand idly by, see this
thing done under their very noses,
and not start hotels toof I
"Our glorious centennial is at
hand" says a patriotic editor, land
now let every American who val
ues our liberties, get his Ratchet
ready to tell the truth"
A young man will never recog-
nizc his heap of foolishness for
slowing his big feet into number
skies until he ''settled down in life"
with corn for every toe.
The cats used to hold concerts at
night in the old times, just as they
do now. In one Of the prehistoric
Aztec villages 200 terrified cats have
been found.
What a fountain of blessing is
cow She is the mother Of beef,
the source of butter, the original
cause of cheese, to say nothing of
shoes, horns, hair, combs and upper
leather.
The grasshoppers are making a
destructive raid INTO Spain. -Four
thousand soldiers have been sent to
Bajadoes to stop them. They dig
trenches, sweep them IN and then
burn them. = ~&@1 - f@~%~
Motto of Portland temperance
reforms club. .'We bend the knee,
not the elbow" This is supposed
to refer to dexterious habit Of
drinking out of bung.
The Island of Nantucket has cleo
ted female school board. 1t was
a step in the direction Of reform and
Nantucket gracefully.
Dom Pedro declares that ST.
Louis is destined to become the
leading city Of the American CONT
nent.
j. G. Hale, brother-in-law Of Gov.
Brownlow, of Tennessee, was shot
and killed at Hot Springs, Ark, res
Gently,
The British government has de-
cided to surrender Winslow, and is
now seeking how it can be done
gracefully.
A timid person is frightened be-
fore danger, coward during the
time, and courageous person at
te wards. E
Nature lives; every pore is burn
i q with life; every death is only a
new birth, every grave q cradle.
Paying visitors to the Exhibition
during the first IA days, 25S,556.
Daily average, fS, 46s.
Peter Cooper, the nomineo of the
green hackers for President, IS ~
years old.
An eel q feet long was caught in
the Des Moines river opposite OF
ta,nwa, reccntly. ss al
The salary of Dom Pedro is fifteen |
times that Of President Of the United
States. H1ts 49, 9ltsaf HRla
No one should think Of going 10 |
the Black Hills without wig and
bottle Of muciiaQe.
A motherless Lee county colt is
having its wants supplied by .
friendly COW.
The current expenses Of the Cen,
tennial Exposition are $4,000 d
day.
Old bells can be made as good as
new ones. Old bellies can't.
The ladies like to see greenbacks
intopinbAcks. B 49,
If trees had any religion, what
nsof,ld n uaturaIIv kAa = Rs,drll.;~vn |