The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-04-14
WHOLE NO. 1898.


fItn anu Point. ft
THE first chiropodist in English his
tory-William the Corn -curer.
SENATOR SAReEANr is the most rapid
speaker in the Senate.
SUICIDE is said to be quite common
among the lower animals.
CAN curl over the forehead he called
"Locke on the Understanding
IT used to be considered "po0r d
ings to smoke a five-cent cigar. Rsil-
road conductors smoke them now.
THE London papers call him Iszass
Winslow. That is not Israel name.-
Graphic.
BRET HARTE's tales have been transi
lated into Russian under the tito Of
"The Foolski of Fiveoff Forkovitcb and
other Talesinkivitch.
A RETURNED Californian met a widow
in Council Bluffs, courted her up In sn
hour, married her before noon, and tooA
her east in the evening.
THE following conversation took plaoe
the other evening at tea-table In Ban
gor, Me-: Five-year-old, to his mother
=" Mother, can have cookyg" mo.
my son." "Mother, can / have quar-
ter of a cooky9" "No, my SON. "
"Can I have a crumb of cookyT
"No |" "Well, then, can smell OF =
cooky?"
A JUDGE in Monmouth county, N. ",
once cautioned an old negro who he'd
been acquitted not to be found in bad
company again. "Much 'bhge tO yO',
marsa, he replied, "I allus 'spect yOs
advise but de fact am, marsa, dat good
company and bad company look SO much
alike dat dis niggah can't tell de differ
ence until he get right in 'em u
AN old officer had lost an eye in tAe
wars and supplied it with glass One,
which he always took out when he went
to bed. Being at an inn, he took Out
his eye and gave it to the simple wenoh
in attendance, desiring her to lay it On
the table. The maid afterward stin
waiting and staring, "What dost wait
forl" said the officer. "Only for the
other eye, sir.
LADY customer" Have you nica
book all covered with red leather, with
gold letters on the back9" Shopkeeper
=" Yes, madam we have De Quincey's
works, three volumes, in Russia: or
Gen. Sherman's Memoirs, two volumes,
in calf. Lady customer-"I dcn't want
anything about Russia. Give me the
books about the dear little calves be-
side, it was made by general.
WHEN Missourian was recently ON
trial for murder, he didn't say he was
insane, but simply said "If yer honor
please, I am guilty. killed the man
because he took my gal from me. She
was about the only thing | had, an L
didn't want to live after she went, an L
didn't want him to live neither. An
should be. obleeged to yer honor If you
would hang me as soon as possible"
WOMEN AS MOTHERS.
Women know
The way to rear up children TO be just;
They know simple, merry, tender knack
OF tying ssshes, hitting baby-shoes,
And singing pretty words that make no sensa
And kissing full sense into empty Words
Which things are corals TO cut life upon!
Although such tribes, children learn by such:
Loves hottest earnest is pretty play
And get not over-early solemnized-
But seeing, as in rose-bush, loves divine,
Which burns and hurts not-not single bloons--.
Become aware and unfraid of love.
such good do mothers. Fathers love as we'll
Mine did, know-but still with heavier brains.
And Wills more consciously responsible,
And not as wisely. since less foolishly;
SO mothers have Gods license 10 be missed.
A WIDOW lady living on Lacrosse
street was highly delighted when .
woodward wagon drove up and half y
cord of stove wood was thrown into her
yard. She had given no order, had no
money to buy wood with, and running
into neighbor's she exclaimed "Seo
how my dream came to pass Last
night / dreamed that some one had
brought me load of wood and be I
hold il is herel" Congratulations
were rendered and several people were
feeling good when the wagon came back
for the wood, it having been thrown of
at the wrong place, and as the boy
pitched it out Of the yard his demeaner
wasn't at all dreamy. Free Press.
SOME years ago certain Detreiter
settled debt by giving his note of
hand. The holder tried for two years TO
collect it, and then fled it away. Tho
other day he had an opportunity to work
it off on an innocent party, and shortly
after 80 doing he encountered the maker
of the note and said "Now you'll have
to come to time I've sold that
note of yours !" "You don't say sor
"Yes, have; got it off on a man for
seven dollars" "See here, Tom, sad
the debtor in a pleading voice. "h yos
got seven dollars for that forty-dolla
note against me, and you won't give mo
at least two dollars, I'll never do another
favor for You in my life !"---free fress-