Weekly Trinity journal., 1876-01-15
NUMBER 3.
THAT "ELECVION ISAr."

tread-like the young man who has been
studying the character of =" Hamlet"
with intent to ruin the reputation of
Booth. a wild maniac glare lighted his
restless eye, and his equally restless other
eye was similarly illuminated. His
clothing, with the exception OF his hat,
had seen better days-a great many bet
ter days, Ills nat was iaultlesa, tile of
the latest pattern. It's ari,tocratic curves
were limos OF beauty, and its glossy SUR.
taco was rs smooth as lightning rod
agents tongue. 1t seemed rs though tho
delties OF good fortune hnd decided to
cndow this individual with shining rai-
meot, and had began at the extremity
which was nearest to them. ''v'
lie paced the Aoor a momcnt, and then
assumed an "alutude," Suatchiug red
herring from his hip pocket and braudish-
ing it alo0, he qnoth
"" |; This 4 dagger which SOC before me ?
| Or hath this horrng east delirium o'er me ?
I ! have thee not, nna yet | scctheo still
Fain would clutch thee by tly ppllid sill
| Ar thou not latal tsion, sonsibla t.i
| AhNs, m Sludmg mo- your eoulao is ropro-
\ dagger to the mind, hlse creation
! \ paltry herring, or mn emuuRtiun
! ltoceediag Dom tao heNtsopptussod brain,
! gauht, grim, spectral ~
! Drunk, swoetly murmured the onioo
! boy, and started lor the noare.t officer.
The effect Of this interruption was instant
ancous anddecided. Thewild light faded
Entn tln =. "a L.,
from his central position ON tho floor,
taking stops of the ordinary length instead
OF five foot strides Romoving his glossy
tile, no placed it conspicuously on tho
office edition of Web ter, and thou sut
down-o thoroughly chauged, thoughtGd
subduod man, A0or amoment's silence,
he said .f, .....4
You see that bat? We'll, that's what
did it. Rum didu't do it. BGghtod af-
toctions didn't do it, Political disap-l
pointmcnts didn't do it, Religious OK .
ctcmont didn't do it. Why sir, Ivo
lived in Jersey the native hair Of Jersey
lightning, and was never brought tosuch
n condition rs this was Jnoo cund-
cato for Alderman, was accused of poi
soning my mothcr-in-h was convicted
of stoaling GELS from t5hwop,en aud
was overwhelmingly defeated but l d.
stood it lil,o u man | was converted 81
when a moro boy gone through all sort
.ot excitement, and have como out all
right cVory time. Bdrial my mother.in-
law, and rcason noyhr ttttorcd ON its
throne no, SIR. But that hat did it
that confoundod hat
You scr, / bet on the elcction-bet u
hat. Lostr No. Worse than lhat-I
w0R And 50 / went and picked out tho
very nobbiost hat in the market. And
pretty soon it was nosod about that
Jones by tho way, Jim Jones - that
Jones had won n bat on the elections. /
was congratulated. 1t cost mo jnst six
dollars and seventy five cents to bo con
graduated yes; and the ten cents moro
for the follow who said he never drank
or smoked, but wanted to help mo wet
ny hat, 50 hold take paper Of fine cut.
Six dollars and eghty-live cent. then
started to 60 homo. was just six sa-
looms away from home. | got there at
midnight and my hat had cost mo some
thing over seventeen dOllnrs. go, what
Il l0yo Of hat, exclaimed Mrs. Jones.
Won it on the elcctlons2 Didn't cost
goa cent ! Now you caa get me that
dear little bonnet can't you, Jonosy 2''
She occasionally calls ma 'Johesy.' Wen,
you SEQ, couldn't explain to her the
mysteries 4 may say tho ecj,eI,sipe mys-
torie3--of hat voting and so bought
her that love OF "a hat for Roththgl
! The bill for tho bonnet raised The price OF
my FREQ hat tJ upward OF tweiity.six dol
lars. The news that Jones won hat ON
the elections you know Is spreading.
The retail trade in liquids suitable for
wetting hata IS increasing AfaIlow who
WON'T wet an election hat Is penuri6us,
let-handed o0rmudgeon, you know and
il now costs mo ten dolai to 20 down
street. | am not bloated b0ndhoIdor,
as my clothes barring my hat-will
shows am not "A bank cashier, am
NV - 'iH'hNp va az W l'iiii ihtllllJ III
short, am not suitable person to win
election hats, The follow who lost tho
hat got Oh bypaymg just nine dollals;
and 1t has cost me over tnrty dollars to
win that bat. At The prosout rate 1 shah
become bankrupt Friday MON"
! The victim OF The election h nv remained
silent and lhoug ughtlul.u1'he mystery OF
tho tragic rehearsal at ihe beginning re-
mained un3olyod Ills attention was
called 10 The matter. u.
d" Oh yos," he exclaimed, "you 500,
thot was u put up job. | could get sent
to jail oasy enough, but thought perhaps
it would be more appropriate to be sent
to the asylum. lm an honest man, but
I'm going 10 do ny best to get sent 10
the crazy house for few weeks, whore /
shall not bG asked lOiWat TINT hat, and
where | can think over what an unani-
nous fool | was not to bet on the losing
side. hut hore comes tho boy with
the policeman. I
Now Is tho Wintor Of our discomfort al
Made glorious Summer by the cold that won't
huu AL me clpidh luHt loWcibu upon oar lOiso
lave iod before Tho warming, n'r cunt f'sfe!
Now are our bfOG3 bound wi,h victorious
WToutha,
Our bruised arms" ,.eH.
The stern officer Of the law laid lis
hand, firmly bat gently, over the mouth
Of poor Jones, and under his p oteetins
wing, solempy marched tho d'j cted
man who won apd partially wet, al
"olection hat. - DetroU F]ee PreSS. 500
IFa man wants to kuow what bard
..-.I .lI.. l. L L. -l...ll nr,II.I MI