The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-04-14
Mr.. Spikes Troubles.

Mr.. Spike, of Detroit, regards the
modern system of school education as
abominable. Mr.. Spikes head is level
about that. MIR. Spike hasn't any chill
dren, and finding that his wife was drift
ing away from the good old educational
ideas OF twenty years ago, he started out
a few weeks ago to reform her. Come to
reflect, he rememb bered that each even
ing's conversation consisted of gossip
about pull-back dresses, Saratoga knots,
church socials, and local scandals, and
one morning he said to her:
''Alaria, take the daily paper and post
yourself. Let this eternal gossip go by
default, and store your mind with knowl-
edge of the great events of the period"
She began to stare. Mrs. Spike is a
good woman and dutiful wife, and she
wanted to do just what Mr.. Spike
thought best. He let her alone day or
two, and then asked d:=.z=asszsaa
"Well, Maria, who are the opposing
parties in Spain ?''
"Boss Tweed and Clara Louisa Kel-
logg," was the prompt reply.
"Hum ~ he said, as he rubbed his
hands; "been reading the papers, 1 see"
eyes; Pve been trying to post my
sell" she answered.
-"Who are the Carlists?' he grimly
asked.
LESS seep' she unused; "they haven't
anything TO do with the Centennial,
have they ?'i E.aHl lGta
'Maria, are you ?" he bluntly
asked.
She began to cry, and he went down
town. 1t was plain to her that she had
made mistake, and she determined to
do better. She froZe right to the daily
paper for the next three days, and when
! he began to question her again she was
ready for him. .....--
"NIaria,'' he asked, "what about the
Beecher scandal ?''
"NIr. Bowen has come out against
Beecher," she replied.
"That's it, That's business pr he ex-
claimed. "What about the Suez canaI?"
1.-THE English have purchased a con-
trolling interest"
Correct, noble woman! Now YOU
are getting to be somebody-now you
show common sense! Now, Maria,
what is the condition of Mexico at the
present time?n g..
mo sleighing therep' she proudly
answered.
His eountenance fell, and, seeing the
change, she tried to set matters right by
adding:
''The 'tater bug is raising Cain down
there"
The look he gave her nearly broke her
heart, and for long time she looked at
the left leg of the coal stove, while he
read pamphlet containing the biogra-
ply of Victoria Woodruff. She finally
asked:
''The tunnel under the Straits of Dover
will ha q N1-nFatf
"There-that's sense" he replied,
Frightening up again.
"And they've had an unusually cold
winter in France" she observed.
"That's right-that's correct. Now ]
think you know something w
She felt elated with his praise, and
boldly inquired:
"How did that McKensie elopement
case come out ?"
"Now you know something-now you
are worthy of the name of Spike 90 he
exclaimed.
"Well, Babcock ought to be ashamed
of himself to run away with another
mans wifer continued Mrs. Spike.
Spike wilted.
'That is, Joyce and Mckee can't be
convicted of robbing the Northampton
Bank, can they ?" she asked.
He groaned.
IL mean the Alfonsists didn't
didn't they weren't to blame fol
crooked whisky, were they ?"
Spike went out and leaned over his
gate and looked at the weather. When
a neighbor came along and asked hin
if he thought it was going to rain, ht
replied:
mo, blast you! It's going to snow
seventeen feet deepw w-Detroit Ere,
Press.