The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-10-05
A TALE OF A TELEGRAM.

A TALE OE A TELEGkAMs
lido not as rule engage in commercial
speculation but my dear friend Jones
insisted with such eloquence upon the
success that must individually follow
upon the establishment of the Great But
ter Company-an association formed for
the manufacture of that commodity out
of q material which shall be nameless,
but which was by no means so precarious
and open to adulteration as cream, and
the supply of which was practically mex
haustibie-that I suffered the name of
Nightingale to appear, for a consider
etion, on the list of directors.
It Is name well known in society, and
was up TO that time untainted by con-
nection with trade unless, indeed, the
shopping and sale of chargers
which I will back myself against any
cavalry officer In Her Maiesty's service
may be considered by the pedantic as
coming under that head. AS for the
city, knew nothing more about it than
that it was locality east of Coxe's, the
army agents. which was the limit of my
personal experience In that direction. /
have always breathed quite another at
nosphere-that of Pail Nah I wish I
could say purer one but the fact is,
that the atmosphere of the smoking
rooms both at the "The Rag" and
ssThe Junior" are, towards the small
hours of the morning, when my own day
lis by no means finished, something ap-
palling. I had three hundred year for
directing the Butter Company and it
was far easier work, am bound to say,
than were the old duties in my regiment,
for which was paid precisely a similar
sum. Once month the Chairman called
for me in his brougham, and deposited
me at the Office in Cornhill, where, after
an excellent luncheon (of which our but
ter formed no Ingredient, attached my
autograph to certain documents a pro-
ceeding which, believe, is technically
termed "passing the accounts" There
were some persons of my acquaintance
and profession-persons / have reason
to believe who had themselves applied
for irectorships-who did not scruple
to cali the Grea5 Butter Company slip
perry concern, and who affected to give
me frIen- ly counsel to get out OF it
but was toe well accustomed to the
system OF military exchanges not to
perceive their drift-their object was,
of course, to be gazetted in my stead.
listened to their jokes about ''Martin-
gale. the man of business" every time ]
returned from an expedition to Cornhill
with even more chan my usual good
nature, for I had twenty five golden
reasons in my pocket-the directors
were paid monthly-for sticking to the
Butter. And [ believe the Butter
would have stuck to me, had it not been
for my own fault-if I can call that a
fault which was the most extraordinary
piece of ill-fortune that ever befell a
fellow, and solely Through another fell
lows being too clever by half.
Well, say the G.. B. Cas- we who
belong to it were accustomed to call it,
as the Chairman said, "out of Election
and euphony," but, so far as was con-
cerned. for mere shortness- was a little
. talked about ;" it had its detractors,
and even 8 enemies. People shook
their heads at it Especially when they
tasted the butter), and prophesied we
should not last and it was necessary to
advertise considerably to get new Gus
toners. Our business lay rather with
new ones than old ones, perhaps; but it
was gradually getting spread over the
eotntry-though thinly spread, like
butter upon bread at school.
So long as we were harmonious
amongst ourselves, said the Chairman,
or, at ali events, washed our dirty linen
at home-did not attack one another in
the papers, as so many boards of di-
Eectors are wont to-we shall be all
right; but If once there should be mis-
trust VI one another, he would not an
awer for the consequences. "Let only
the Great Butter Company be true to
ItaeIfs said he, during the peroratisn of
the most powerful speech ever remem-
Der TO have heard from any man sitting,
and 90 not hesitate to affirm that the
days of the danymen are numbered. !"
Fer, thoUgh [ am still under an obliga-
ton OF secrecy as to the material of
which our butter is composed, I may say
1t had nothing In common with dairies-
except little water. Enough, how
ever, OF commercial details.
When playing at pool in the early
autumn one night at the club, I had the
misfortune to lose-neither nv money
nor my life, for am amazingly careful
of both, but-my sef-possession. and
somehow or other got inveigled into 8
promise to go down to old Slowcombe's
to shoot, upon the first of October. II
was foolish thing to do, for SIowcombe
Is bore, and happened to owe him &
little money; and when a man is both {
bore and a creditor, it is intolerable t.
.Sr-sA e II.