Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-07-28
SENSE AND NONSENSE.


SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A BLACKSMITH is always striking foi
wages.
PRoaREss OF CH1LDHooD.~From pap
10 papa.
SAY II will," and some day you will
conquer.
The labor of some mems lives seems to
be to avoid doing duty.
ONE of the hostile chiefs is called Rye
Face" He is the flour of the Sioux.
SOME of our foreign relations-Aunt
Arctic, Cousin German and Farther
India.
SITTING BULL, the Sioux Chief, won't
believe that there are over 0,000 white
people in the country.
WE are never so well inclined TO believe
in stroke of good fortune as when one
has just been dealt to US.
WHEN young lady hands you card,
nowadays, with the cabalistic letters Y.
M. @. A, it means, You may call
again"
II is estimated that the number Of la
dies who cannot pass mirror without
glancing into 1t averages about twelve to
every dozen.-BoStOn Post.
IT is only ninety nine years and some
months now before the second Centennial
will be upon us. Let us be frugal and save
ourselves for that occasion.-BtlfdEe Rp-
press.
A GIRL was killed near Danville, Va,
the other morning while milking COW.
If girls would only learn to play the piano
and make worsted dogs such accidents
would never happen.
My dear" said gentleman to his wife,
"our club is going to have all the home
comforts" Indeed" sneered the wife;
land when, pray, is our home to have all
the club comforts?"
IT was a printer who pcrpetrated this
double barreled, breach loading, pun-co-
uundrum: Why is an old mans farm in
Texas like the focus of a sun-glass? Be-
cause it's the place where the sons raise
meat.
STATISTICS show that thus far in this
Centennial year two boys have been born
to every girl, and very fine article of
boy in every instance, too. Docs this
mean another war or merely less talk p
Rochester Chronicle.
| ONE of the most touching and sugges-
tive spectacles of the new era is that of
Niagara hackman reclining upon lux
urious lounge, smoking a tifty-cent cigar
and calmly perusing the latest stock list.
-Brooklyn Argus.
AT a European hotel, recently, foolish
man stared at Jane Gray Swisshelm. Jane
| dropped her knife and fork and wcnS to
staring at the foolish man, and succeeded
so well that in few minutes he looked,
she says, like whipped spaniel.
"ID like you to help me little, said a
tramp pOking his head into country
store. Why don't you help yourself, u
said the proprietor angrily. Thank
you, will" said the tramp, as he picked
up bottle of whisky and two lOaycs of
bread, and disappeared.
THERE is a good deal of consolation just
now in the thought that man whC drops
a tive-dollar bill into the contribution box
suffers just as much from the heat as one
who puts in a counterfeit quarter and
takes out couple of good ten-cent pieces
for change ge.-No,1Otch Bulletin.
Two young men out riding were pass.
ing farm house where farmer was try
ing TO harness an obstinate mule. Wont
he draw" said one of the men. OF
course" said the farmer, "he'll draw the
attention of every fool that passes this
way" The young men drove on
A FUNNY episode occurred recently in
California. A mock monitor was an
chored off Alcatraz, mile from the fort.
This was fired at from the men war.
Ten shots were fired before the monitor
was struck. The firing after that was
wild. The combined volleys from the
men of war and the batteries having failed
to even hit the fire boat, to say nothing of
demolishing it, brave and daring hero
was sent out in tug to set it on fire. n.
A CONTRACTOR bargained to build a
house in Scranton, Pa, and means to earn
and get the pay; but the other party
changed his mind, and Is determined that
the work shall not be done. Every day
the contractor has frame work put up by a
large force of workmen, and every night
the owner of the ground hires an equal
',uumber to clear away the timber. The ex-
pense Of the contestants is great, and each
is satisfied because he expects that the law
will make the other pay the cost; and the
workmen are cOntented because most of
them are employed in both the night and
the day Job The number of fools in the
crowd is great enough TO keep the local
lawyers in broad grin, both when waking
or asleep.
OUR boy Swipes, says California pa
per, is a regular attendant at Sunday
school. Last Sunday his teacher was ex-
planning chapter to the class in the book
of Kings. After delivering herself of
what she thought TO be very entertain
ing discourse, she asked the class: "What
is Kingr This was poser to the class.
Finally, our boy Swipes, who is the pride
of the Sunday school, held up his hand.
This made his teacher smile benignly, for
she was proud TO see him so ready with an
answer, so she said: swell, Swipes,
what is King" 4" Well, miss, you see,
when you get in the king row and put a
checker on him, why then he's king, and
when somebody leads jack, and another
fellow plays queen in pedro, you can
make his eyes hang out by taking em
both with the king
The origin of the name " kangaroo" is
thus described in recent work of Mr.. +.
Buckland: "When Capt. Cook first dis
covered Australia he saw some natives on
the shore, one of them holding dead an
imal in his hand. The Captain sent a
boats crew ashore TO purchase the animal,
and finding, on receiving, that It was a
beast quite new TO him, he sent the boat.
swain back TO ask the natives its name.
What do you call this ere animalp said
the sailor 10 the naked native. The native
shook his head and answered, 'Kan-ga,
roo,' which means, in Australian lingo,
oonit understand When the sailor re
turned TO the ship the Captain said: Well
and what is tho name of the animalr The
sailor replied; Please, sir, the black party
says it's a kangaroo The beast kept thiI
name ever since.N