The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-02-10
The Way a Weather.Prophet Deceived
his Trusting Neighb0rs.


The Toledo (O.) Blade tells this /;
There are several people in this section
OF the country who make rails and kill
hogs when the moon is ''a-fullin' )" cut
weeds when il Is a-yanini;splant pota-
toes in the light of the moon, because
they want them to come up, and build
fence at the same time, because they
want it TO stay ups put on shingles IN
the light of the moon, to make them
stay down; who plant their ''cowcum-
bers'' before sunrise ON the ilrst OF
June, and sell their produce according
to the ember days. The apostle OF
this class of agriculturists in this sec
lion is an old g1izzly-bearded sage, llv-
ING but few miles from the city, who
has the intellectual capacity of Digger
Indian, united TO loud-nouthed con-
fidentness that carries conviction TO his
disciples.
Last fall the old man studied up the
SIGNS, felt the moss on the trees, took
notice Of the way pigeons were lighting
ont for the South, peered in the musk
rats holes, and then announce :, with
Tie calm assurance of an oracle, that
we were going to have winter so cold
that we would think the. Greenlanders
had gotten hold of the isothermal line
and twisted it around, giving us their
cad of it.
AYES, SIR said old Weatherwise;
- It's a-goin' to be a reglar old singer,
an no mistake. tn set in cold airly,
about the fust quarter of the moon in
October. and keep on a-getting colder
until, just afore the moon fulls in Janu-
arv, it'll be so tarnation cold that coal
oil will have to be sold by the chunk,
and YOU kin buy whisky by the plug. a"
And his hearers straightway departed
from him, filed with the idea that a
new glacial period was at hand. They
heaped up their wood-piles until they
could not see over the tops thereof,
they raised small mountains over their
potato holes, they wasted their sub
stance in buying Ulster overcoatS, and
the stock Of whisky they laid in enabled
a liquor dealer in this city to make his
wife a present Of a seal-skin suit and a
diamond bracelet.
Thus fortified, they sat down and
waited, sneering at their less provident
neighbors, a good deal after the fashion
that old Father Noah chuckled over the
way those fellows Slipped who did not
prepare an ark of shittim wood at the
time ofthe extraordinary precipitation,
which lasted forty days and forty
nights.
AT first the weather started in very
brash, and they were delighted. Then
it softened up a little and resolved it
sell Into a sort of mild, suhtropical
winter, which, as it spread itself out
over weeks, began to disgust them.
When Christmas dawned, fair as a May
morning, they felt rs if they should be
heard, and the man who had built a bic
ice-house by the river, and invested all
his money in that and ice-plOws, step
ped around to old Weatherwise to ash
what he meant by thus tritiing with
their feelings and interests; if he was
going to run that weather business, he
must do 1t, and not fool around in that
absurd manner. Old Weatherwise an
initiated him with
4" Now, any fOol'dknow better than tC
expect cold weather afore Christmas.
Just you wait til the days begin tc
lengthen, then weather'll begin to
strengthen, as the old sayin' is.
They were forced TO be satisfied with
this, but went off grumbling. New
Years dawned even brighter than
Christmas, and then the chap who hac
bought a barrel Of alcohol to serve as
a beverage in the cold days, went to the
old man in rage, but he was put off with
the excuse that the moon was not in the
right conjunction; to just wait until the
next change, when the moon was once
dark, it would be cold enough toeXceed
their most sanguine expectations.
Once more they waited, but this time
with impotence. The moon changed
about two weeks ago, and the nights
became dark as Egypt. The anxious
people waited a week for the fulfill
ment of the old rascal's prophecies, and
then they rose as one man and went to
his abode. The scene that followed was
mmultuous. The ice-man swore he was
in league with the men on the northern
lakes to plumber his neighbors; the saw
mill man said there was no doubt that
he had spite against men trying to
earn an honest living; the men who had
pork and grain to take to market asked
why he wanted to beat them out of their
hard earnings, while all ageeed he had
made an agreement with the Toledo
clothing and whisky men to get per
centa~e on all the goods he sold in his
nei6hborhood; and they finally took
the false prophet out, rode him on a
rail, and then dragged him through a
mud-puddle That prophet has now
neither honor in his own country nor
any other.