The Ottawa free trader., 1876-12-30
CREAMOF OUR EXCHANGES.

IlOus.
yo,rn man he not discouraged In Quincy
once resided a youth who formerly llved IN Il
hovel vet with only his two hands ana crow
bar he opened jewelry store. Last SATURDAY
he was escorted to the big stone house horlh oI
this city.
Rev. Dc Witt Talmagc, who lectured at Auro-
ra the other evening, kipdled smile all over the
house by the remark, that multiplicity oi BUS
mess made many q man worthless; jack OF all
trades is master of none. And" he added,
"that's why preacher ought not to 60 about
the country lecturing.'
The dramatic critic of the Troy BuCi9et says,
relative TO performance of Julius Cesar in
that city: Brussels carpets in the streets OF
Rome and on the plains of Phillip! are not
mentioned in our history"
Many a country editor is blessed with COM
postor to whom he can safely entrust roughly
written manuscript with the injunction to cor
rect and abbrevlate; but such was hardly the
compositor to whom cotemporary says he en-
trusted wordy piece OF manuscript with the
Injunction referred to, but was horrifed, on
reading the paper next morning, to find that
when the compositor came to passage treating
it read 81, Christ & CO..
The Aurora girls, according tn the Nc'rs, OBJ
lect to the way the fellows take them sleigh
riding in hard, single seated stiff backed cutters
They want to 20 in the old bob.s sled style, where
everybody tumbles into the bottom Of the box
and all snuggle UP together and tuck their heads
under the robes and ilatten noses against each
other" Yum! YUM!
Sleeping in a cold bedroom these nights is
pleasant enough If your dutiful spouse precedes
YOU to bed half an hour and has it nicely warm
ed; but where is the love of husband who
can maintain his equanimity when, after having
disroBed himself and got his night.shirt on just
ready to turn in, a mufiied voice greets him from
between the blankets with" John, before you
come to bed, those plants will have to be carried
down cellar or they'll free ze; forgot to tell
you?
A "state item" is going the rounds Of the Iowa
Journals to the effect that at Iowa Falls, on
the 7tn inst, Chauncey Hardin cast, for the 62d
time, his ballot for presidential electors" Then
Chauncey must be the most Iardned old re-
peater in the business, for even If he is 81 years
old, he had to vote early and often in order to
vote 62 times for president In 22 elections. Prob
ably he voted for all the candidates, desiring to
have fair, impartial election. burlington Hank
Eye.
Cardinal Antoneli-rcst his soul, he's dead,
but he did love the gallantres OF this world, ana
his flesh was wcak-left bchind him tangible ev-
licences of his loves. But to all charges OF irreg
ularitles there is the ready reply: Cardinal
Antonelli belongs only to the order OF Deacons"
We protest against this slur on the order OF
deacons. Cendennlng and Beecher are not dea-
cons and If the above is true of Antonelli We
don't believe he was one.
The Aurora Ntlca admits that through mad
yertance some errors of photography have ap-
peared in that paper that are little "redcalous."
The Mt. Carmel Register says there is II fine
opening at that Office for poets writing about
"The Beautiful Snow" "The opening was made
by the brlcklayer; is in the rear of the Office;
the 'drap is about fifteen feet, and there is an
elegant brick pile to light on"
Chicago had horrible fright the other morn
ing. The ice had collected upon fire plug in
such a manner as to represent the bust Of Ben
Butler Housewives in terror hid their spoons
aud the jewclry stores were guarded by armed
police.
Prof Swing says that a new hat won on an
election bet comes down over the eyes of the
winners soul.n From which we dcduce the val
uabc information that souls wear plug hats.
By command OF Ulysses, the tanner,
The Hayesitcs stole Louisiana,
But Gov. Grover knocked that little game over,
And that's Watts the matter with Hannah.
The weather is as changeabe as dollar bill.
-IVhdehdH Times. Yes, the wind blows to-day
from one quarter and tomorrow from dime.
trcally opposite point Philadelphia Bliletin.
Somebody must be moneypulating it-Buriiag.
ton Hdnheye. The man who gives currency To
such Jokes has no cents.-N. y. HerdM. Not Il
"bit;" such jokes are about the only legal-tender
paragraphists have chance to circulate. st.
Louis Republican. The authors OF such stupid
picayuniary jokes about the weather deserve to
20 to the pennytentiary.
4 girl died in Vermont the other day from
poison in the colored stockings which she had
been in the habit of wearing This should serve
as a lesson TO girls not to pull their coored
stockings on with their teeth.
A man named Dollar has moved to this city.
He ought To be well of.-SBiithHeid Gd-cito You
will never see him when he hasn't dollar to his
name, anyway iurOrd Netcs
The following has no reference to our Ottawa
Club, which meets every night
A member Of a club objected 10 the publica
ton Of the list OF the meeting nights Of the
club, because" ;" he said, IL it's published, We
married men will have To account for the OF
nights" The motion to publish was lost.
The sentimental Norwich Bniletn says: Only
few days more Of leap year remain, and We
shall be glad when II is over. This having to
reject girl after girl is a cruel strain upon sen
sitiye man"
THE WASTES OF LIFE"
" This dress is too long ,rdsfoi
think IL is a shame"
No doubt of il, my darling
lfy cash has Joca he Sdme"'
The Dlnbury Neics says: "The modern cool
stove IS approaching n degree Of perfection
which will require competent engineer with
stated salary 10 run it
Coming through the Rye is wha; the young
ladies Of The Rye q. " Seminary call gradua