davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1876-09-22
uomsu,. and Mems ouarro1..

rvo men we're walking down the street
:, Detroit. the Free Press says, arm in
- In, followed by two dogs. The men
ne Ai talking, apparently, about women,
wS;cb is an unusual thing, for, says one
" them: eyes, by George, I'm tired
bearing % about that fuss; every time 1 go
home It's dinged into my ears till wish
7 Iva, was in the Sandwich Islands, or my
lie was, or something"
Then the other man said that he "did
tb;nk that women would quarrel over
tLn most foolish things one ever heard
- and he was glad that men did not
oiiov such trivial affairs to disturb their
friendships as women did, and, in
fact -
Then there arose a chorus of growls
and wells in the rear, and both men
tnrned round quickly to see what was
tbe matter, and saw their respective dogs
ENGAGED in tussle, and went right back
10 mart them. There was a good deal of
dnst and dog, swearing, and much ex-
citement, and the ragged edge of a
crowd began to appear, when the two
owners glided in and jawed at the dogs,
and as that did not have the desired eff
fact possessed themselves of each dogs
tail and tugged and pulled for dear
life But the larger dog had locked his
hold on the other, and had shut his eyes
on outer things, and didn't care a cent
how either the world or his tail wagged,
so long as he could hold on, and hold
on he did. Then the owner of the other
Jog forgot himself, and gave the big one
a kick. and q red-nosed gentleman in the
crowd, who sported pair of bed-tick-
ing pants, said if any one kicked a dog
Of his like that, he'd kick him; and some
one asked him what business it was of
his" and he said he guessed he had
some rights as q spectator"
sect your dog off, says the owner of
the smaller dog.
sect him off yourself" answered the
other.
"Blast himl will" said the first,
and he proceeded to deposit sundry re-
sounding kicks in the animals ribs,
wbereupon the owner interfered, and
said 3" no gentleman would kick dog
like that" and the man with the bed
ticking pants said that was So" Then
the other man wanted to know "who
was no gentleman 2" and the man of the
big dog said he was" and the other
said he could lick him if he was;" and
there's no telling what might have hap
pened if brave policeman hadn't ar
rived and cracked the dogs over the
head, which had the effect of settling
the fight all round very summarily. The
two men haven't spoken since, but it's
supposed that their opinions are the
same as to the trivialty of women's
quarrels.
, 1876-09-22

A DISCIPLE of Coke, in Charleston,
South Carolina, when asked by "brud-
der" to explain the Latin terms de facto
and de jare, replied, "Dey means dat
you must prove de facts OBJ de case
to de satisfaction OBJ de Jury"
, 1876-09-22

TIE first thing San Francisco man
does when he comes to New York is to
get his'boots blacked; the first thing a
Boston man does is to get something to
eat; the first thing a Chicago man does
is to ask policeman where is the near
estNbar-room to buy postage stamps
Nel6 York Herald.
, 1876-09-22

TIE MARROW SEAT.-Some time ago
there lived in Western city a young
gentleman and lady, who, for conve-
nience sake, we will call Ned and Kitty.
They were frequently seen together, ex-
hibiting unmistakable evidences of ten
der attachment, which were fast lead
ing them toward the vortex of mutri-
mony.
Buggy riding was fayorite pastime
with the young lovers, and there was
scarcely woodland glen or a prairie
flower for miles around that did not, at
some time, witness their happy love-
making as they rode by, or stopped a
moment to bill and COO and exchange
VOWS.
When the young man wanted buggy
he invariably wrote about as follows to
the livery man:
Mr.. Mc.-Please send the narrow
seated buggy to my door at five o'clock
P. NJ, and oblige, yours, NED.
P. S.-H you can't send the narrow
seated buggy, don't send any. NED.
In the course of time they were mar
ried, and few weeks after the event
trahspired, Ned presented himself at
Mes Office, and told him that he wished
to take Mrs. Ned to the country for a
few days recreation, and desired him to
get ready buggy.
All right, old boyl I'm glad to see
you round again, and can let you have
your fayorite buggy"
Which ?"
Why, the narrow-seated rig, of
course"
Never mind it, Mac; that one will
DO" and he pointed to a buggy that two
persons might have sat in, with yards
space between them.
, 1876-09-22

UNCLE SANS troubles, according to
the Salem Gazele-1776, John Bull
1876, Sitting Bull.
, 1876-09-22

az! nUFUs CHoArE said of certain Judge
ra At ne was SO reserved in his man
s M tnat one would never suspect he
, 1876-09-22

The HUSBANDS ExPERRScR. -"I
give and bequeath unto Mary, my wife,
the sum O one hunder' pounds q year"
said an old farmer. els that written
down, master ?" "Yes," replied the
lawyer, but she is not so old; she may
marry again. Won't you make change
in that case? Most people do" "Aye,
do they?" said the farmer. "Well,
write again: I give and bequeath unto
her the sum of two hunder' pounds q
year. That1l do. won't it, master ?"
=" Why, it's just double the sum she
would have if she remained unmarried, Z"
said the lawyer; it's generally the
other way-the legacy is lessened If the
widow marries again" "Aye," said
the farmer, " but him as gets herll de-
serve it."
, 1876-09-22

He WAS A WIDowER.-The cars were
running through a deep cut, whose
rocky walls re-echoed the noise Of the
train with startling effect. A pale, de-
jected looking man sat by an open win
dow, through which came the deafening
roar. A lady on the next seat expressed
her dislike Of the noise in such terms
that a gentleman requested the pale
man to lower his window. This the
pale man refused to- do, and sat drink
ing in the confusion of sounds with an
expression of great satisfaction. As
soon as the cars stopped the passengers
expressed their contempt of the pale
man for his rudeness. The pale man
stood up in his seat and said: g-l
Gentlemen, don't want you to
think me hog, but I've been married
for eleven years, and last week my wife
died. I've lived a terribly lonesome
life since then, until 1 heard the noise
of the cars coming through that cut,
and you've no idea how it brought back
old times, and revived me-"
The passengers forgave im.-Rock-
land Courier.
, 1876-09-22

AN impecunious individual was heard
to mutter, as he finished reading rail-
road handbill headed, "Through with
out change" "That's the road l shall
take; no fault to find with them terms" :"
, 1876-09-22

OFrENrnns a man ransacks the whole
house for a pin, and, not being able to
find one, drops into chair with dis
gust, and is Immediately rewarded for
the search.
, 1876-09-22
An Egyptian Funeral.

The Alexandria correspondent of the
London NepS writes as follows: The
death of Toussoum Pasha at the early
age of twenty-one is a severe affliction
to the Khedivial family, for whom great
sympathy is felt by all classes. This
young Prince, only son of the late Said
Pasha, was married in 1875 to the Prin-
cess Fetma. daughter of the Khedive,
and it was an exceptional instance of
marriage for affection. He was Muscir
(MarshaD and Minister of the Marine,
and a member of the Privy Council;
but having been a great sufferer for
many months, has been unable to take
an active part in the details of his de-
partment for some time. The funeral
of the deceased Prince took place on
Saturday, the 8th inst. From daylight
crowds of natives made their way to the
Mosque of Nebi-Daniel, near the family
palace by the Mahmoudie Canal. At11
A. NJ. guard of cavalry escorted large
number of buffaloes to the place of
burial, and these, according to the Mus
sulman custom, were sacrificed, and the
flesh given to the poor. Next came
thirty camels, laden with bread, dates
and small money, all of which was dis
tributed to the crowd. A few minutes
later came a procession of the munich
pal guard, followed by q squadron of
lancers, with their lances in their belts,
and two regiments of infantry, with
their arms reversed. The rear of the
procession was brought up by boys
from the naval and military establish
ments. His Highness Tuefik Pasha,
eldest son of the Khedive, was present
as chief mOurner, accompanied by
Cherif Pasha, Minister of Foreign Af-
fairs, the Governor of Alexandria, and
numerous officials, by the consular
body, and by an immense number of
bankers, merchants, and inhabitants of
Alexandria and Cairo. A detachment
of marines mounted guard, and their
band, having no duties to perform. car
red silver trays filed with perfume.
Servants and officers of the Princes
household bore the decorations of the
Prince on cushions Of velvet and gold.
The coffin, of the simplest possible kind,
but covered with priceless white and
gold cashmere, was carried by soldiers
and marines, and deposited in the tomb
where the Princes father, Said Pasha,
was buried. About eighty thousand
people were present in the neighbor-
hood Of the grave. The city of Alex
andria was quite deserted, all the
natives, and many European establish
ments being closed. Never has there
been seen there such spontaneous and
sincere manifestation of respect and
sympathy"
, 1876-09-22

A S100,000 HoRsE.-Smuggler the
great trotter and winner of the Cleve-
land races, recently, was originally from
Franklin county, being raised by Mr..
Morgan, of Jackson township, about six
miles from this city. Mr.. Morgan came
to this county from Virginia just before
the war, bringing the dam and sire of
Smuggler with him. When Smuggler
was two years old, Mr.. Morgan re-
moved to Kansas. There being a race-
course close to the residence of Mr..
Morgan, he was put on the track more
for pastime than anything else. Colonel
Tuft, noted horseman, saw the horse
work, and was of the opinion that there
was bottom to him. Smuggler was
originally PAGER, but, under the eff
cient management of a trainer, he soon
developed as q trotter. Tuft took the
horse to New York with the understand
ing that he should receive half of the
sum he could dispose of him for. Colo
mel Russell, the present owner, agreed
to pay $40, 900 for the animal, provided
he could show 2:25 gait. Upon trial,
the horse got down to 2:23, and the sale
was effected. Colonel Russell now re-
sides at the Home Farm, in Massachu-
sets, and only last week refused $780,
900 for the horse. The present driver
is the man who handled him in Kansas,
Colonel Russell sending to that State,
and engaging him for the express Pur-
pose of dTiver.-Colunlbus (O.) State
Journal
, 1876-09-22

BoxNa the ears of q four-year-old
boy is bad case Of sunstroke.
, 1876-09-22

FINDING A PRRsoN's NAArE.-The Aq-
ricWltariSt publishes the method of find
ing out persons name:
Let the person whose ABB no
name you wish to know oEIR
tell you in which of the ! EFFJ
upright columns the first K
letter of his name is found. IJIL
If it be found in but one KKMMU
column, it is the top letter; MNEN
if it occurs in more than o ow
one column, it is found by oRTx
adding the alphabetical svzY
numbers of the top letters wv "
of these columns, and the www
sum will be the number of z
the letter ought. Ry taking one letter
at a time in this way, the whole name
can be ascertained. For example, take
the word Jane. lis found in the two
columns commencing with B and n,
which are the second and eighth letters
down the alphabet; their sum is ten,
and the tenth letter down the alphabet
is J, the letter sought. The next letter,
a, appears in but one column, where it
stands at the top. Mis- seen in the col
umns headed B, D and II; these are the
second, fourth, and eighth letters Of
the alphabet, which added give the four
teenth or N, and so on. The use of
this table will excite no little curiosity
among those unacquainted with the
foregoing explanation.
, 1876-09-22

Oes.
| FOR. Bat
nncMo
French
8 10 ~
French
| |IdfsSso@s
ordering
ore WI
o make
Sho0oi
loS 6nd
, 1876-09-22

ONE,
[TEana
|:LGTISo
| e. s.u
, 1876-09-22

FINDING PERsoN's NAAE.-The Aq-
r-icultttrist publishes the method of find
, 1876-09-22

|lT'EL,
WHICH
nded 70
comfort
Callior
sLfnTrn~
show %
astakfn
and VII
cond %
| linsss
slfnm o.
best he
hly ren.
wo hun
andat
Hotel.
q any In
-.HaH
pots a1d
free o.
on N
ices are
| Mo. Z;
, 1876-09-22

| |IVniI
all Otn.
PhllliW
on, Nor
ienown
lly eoo1
Agent
any,.
hfAHeH
Market
, 1876-09-22

10 !
|MILY
thou.
|th any
ne fol.
nge o
inclined
ne fUrth
|ert that
d q per
lis ialse.
Iona
IN,
|ancisco
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28

WITH ILLUSTRATED PAPERS on PICTURESQUE
PLACES, AND oBJEcrsrS THE VARIOUS
BRANCHES OF ART.
The Art journal is monthly journal specially
devoted to the world Of Art Painting, Sculp-
ture, Architecture, Decorating, Engraving,
Etching, Enameling, and Designing in all its
branches having in view the double purpose
of supplying complete illustrated record Of
prvgresr in the Art, and of atfordiny a means for
the cultivation of Art-taste among the people.
Each number is richly and abundantly illus
trated on both steel and wood, and no pains
have been spared to render this work the most
varied, elegant, and valuable publication Of
the kind III the world. 1t contains the Stee
Plates and Illustrations OF the Lcndon Ar
Journal; publication of worldwide fame (the
exclusive right Of which, tor Canada and the
United States, has been purchased by the
publishers; with extensive additions devoted
to american Art and American topics. Among
the features contained i'll it are the following:
l. PAP.Rs ON SIR EDWIN LASDsEER's
SKETCHES, highly valuable and most
interesting collection Of Sketches de-
rived from the folios Of the great
painter.
II. SCENE on rHE HUpslN RIVER. Scatter
I'D views c. tbs Splendid Scenery of
the Hudson are not unfrequent, but
this series of papers is assigned to give
noblest of rivers They are engraved
from Original Drawings made for this
work during tine pas, summer.
III. The FhhScH PAINTERS AND THEIR
WORKS. Beantiiuliy-engraved copies
Of some of the more notable of recent
French Pictures, with descriptive let.
ter press, Prepared expressly for this
edition
1 w. AMERlcAS AND Bsirrsu ARTISTS AM
rHsiR Works. uuder this heat hav.
been included Engravlngs OF Painting:
by Artists eli not.
Y. The SrATtLY HOMES OF ENGLAND. 3,
S. c. HALL. Illustrated descriptions
/ OF the famous old Manor Houses o
Great Britain.
VI THR HoMgs OF AMgRicA. A serl>
| Illustrated Papers CORE spending witt
the preceding.
VII. ART ~ Jar.s. BY Sir Ru,hsrio Al
/ cock. G. 3.
/ VIII ART IN INDIA. By DR.. Hunt.
/ IN. lSFLugScG OF Religion on Arr. By tn
Rev. Il. l.. Cuts. NJ A.
Y. NOTABLE BUILDINGS IN Europe An
America.
NJ. Art-worS in Palestine. BY N. Z. Rog
ers, Esq.
XII. American and Foreign Art Mauafac-
III. Various illustrations and Illustrate
Papers on new productions IN Art An,
upon Art-themes of popular interest
Complete in Il parts Each part consainin
three Sioel Plates and numerous Wood illus
,rations, printed in the most elegant manns
upon toned paper
4 PRICE $500
| y. APPLETON 4 CO.. Publisher:
$40 Il SOL BROADWAY. NEW YORk
J.H CHAMBERS. GENERAL A6Exr.
No sos LOCUST STREET.
ST. LOUIS MO.
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28
THE ROCKFORD AUTOMATIC
FAMILY KNITTING gAGalNE'

A most Useful and Wonderful Invention
Now attracting universal attention by IT'S as
tonishishing performances, and its great prac-
tical value for every day family use It's SIM
PIE, DURABLE, and CHEAP, is easily kept
in repair, and
WlLLLAST llFE.TlME'
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28
WITH ALMOST MAGICAL SPEED.

WITH AlNOo1 AAoAS@AA ~ $1,000.
and far better than it can I've done by hand, or
on any other machine. All kinds OF garments
are perfectly formed ana shaped by the
machine itself, requiring no cutting ana max
mig up. A good operator Will knit man
sock. with heel and toe complete, IN from IRE
10 ten INMATES and from twenty to forty pairs
of socks in a DAT
Every family -especfs' yevery farmer tam
ily-should havea BlCkFORD kNITTER.
will be found equally as seful as the SEWN
Machine. and even more profitable.
Every Machine W ARRANTED perfect, md
10 do last ,rhat is represented.
The Bicktord Machine is the ONLY LE6rri.
NATE cylindrical Knitting Machine III exis-
,ence. All others. not licensed by us, are clear
and palpshle infringments on our patents,
and we shall hold all parties who manufacture,
sell, buy or use such Infringing machines, to
a strict legal accountability.
An Instruction Book, containing complees
and minute directions to the operator, accuD.
raui..~ each machine.
No Family Machine, cylinder. y needles, ta0
NJ, 4 /. , p" 20 Il 100 SO
A Sar,pie ,aaehine will te sent to any part a
tltr United States 81 Canada. crpress charges
pre,~sd, on r>y.ip, ri the price.
AGENTS Wanted III every State, County, City
and Town, to whom very liberal discounts
will be u,aie Fur further PARTICULARS, address
RcKPoHp kx,rrt>s MA.ui>k Mrs.. Go.
Sole Manufacturers, ksArrLsgoSo, VT
orr. Il. pAN rs. Ma, ag~r.
9~Wsst Thiri Stn.t 81. aul. Mimi
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28
ADVERTISING RATES.

Locals, Is cents per line, each insertion. :.
Locals, editorial columns, % cents per line
each insertion.
Bills for advertising PAYABLE quarterly in
advance.
Advertisers will please take notice that
the AMrI-MoNopoLIsT is the best and
cheapest advertising medium in Minnesota
It has larger circulation among the farm
ers than any other, while it is read in
every town and city and almost every vii
lage Of the State. 1t is perused by thou
sands who take no other paper.
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28

The ANrI-MoNoPoLlsr is published every
Thursday for circulation by newsmen and mail
Single Subscription. one wear. $500
Single Subscription six months. 100
Single Subscription. three months. so
In clubs of FIVE or more to one address it will
be furnished at $3.50 per year; or s1.OOfor six
months Address,
THE NTI-MONOPO L1ST,
No. 10 Wabasha St.. st. Paul.
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28

CEyD CSC. to g. p. POWELL & CO, New
DYork. for Pamphlet OF 100 pages, containing
lists OF 900 newspapers, and estimates showing
crst Of advertising. Silly
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28
POSTAGE.

PUSTNGE.
We are compelled to prepay postage on
all papers sent out from our office Prior
TO January 1st, 1875, subscribers paid
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We now pay the postage for them. 1t
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The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-12-28
REMITTANCES.

REMITTANCES.
Parties renting money are requested to dl-
rect it to Ignatius Donnelly, Box 384, T. o.,
St. Paul, Mimi, and to send by draft, check,
registered letter or postal order. Money sent IN
any other way will be at the risk OF the SENDER
New-York tribune., 1876-12-04
SPEAKER RANDALL.

Mr.. Samuel J. Randall is to be the next
Speaker of the House of Representatives. lie
will not go into the chair amid such express
sions of approval as attended Mr.. Kerr.
And yet he is, in most ways, far bet
ter fitted for the place. He is IA
miliar with parliamentary law, ready
shrewd politician. and better qualified, by
long experience and natural ability, to be
either the Speaker of the House, or the leader
on the floor, than any of his fellow members
There haze occasionally been hints that Mr.
Randall was not unknown to gentlemen OF the
lobby; but when he was candidate
a year ago, THE TRIBUNE gave consid-
cradle space to an examination OF these
innuendoes, and showed pretty conclusively
that they were unwarranted. We thought him
n good man for the Speakership then, and if
he had not been so peculiarly perverse on all
partisan points and in wrong-headed efforts at
imprActicable retrenchments during the session,
we should think very highly of his promotion
now. 1t is doubtless the best the party
could do, and in party sense an
exceedingly good thing to do. He Is still
necked, aggressive, and quite likely in the
stormy conflicts of the present House to carry
tDinGS WltH IL ulSH manu- AAO "hi Ai'AN ~ -
great comfort, however, to reflect that Mr.
Blaine Is in the Senate.
1t seems to be supposed in Washington that
Mr.. Randall has been chosen because he was
Gov. Tilden's man. This may be so, and yet
il il little curious. One of the first things
he did last session was to quarrel with Mr..
Hewitt on the amazing bill for the reduction
of the diplomatic service. Mr.. Randall seemed
to know thoroughly what the party wanted;-
Mr.. Hewitt certainly knew what the country
needed. Randall objected to being instructed
by a green member and Hewitt objected
10 being put down by one who didn't under
stand the subject. The result was that for
more than half the session they were not on
sppaking terms. 1t would be a queer thing If
Mr.. Hewitt really did carry Gov. Tilden's in
structions to Washington, and did thereupon
proceed to give Mr.. Randall the nomination.
Mr.. Cox showed how many lives he has, and
how hard he is to kill. Nobody supposed
his candidacy could amount to anything, and
vet he bad 63 votes. The promotion of Mr..
Randall must bring Mr.. Sayler prominently to
the front on the floor. AS Speaker pro tenn. he
WAS a success, and the failure to continue him in
the place is sure to have its compensation.
But. after all, the member who made the
most reputation at the last session was Mr.
Hewitt. He is doubtless the abest practical
man OF his party in the House, and his rela-
tions TO Gov. Tilden and the campaign prOba-
bly, insure him the leadership to which his
brains enttle him.
New-York tribune., 1876-12-04
gnoes to AoperiissmsnIs


AMUsyMENTs-6a a0e-5th and 9Th columns
RaNKTNn Houses AND BANKERS-3dPd0e-Oth column
BoARD AND ROOMs--2d PdQe-6th column.
BUsINRSs CHANCEs-3d Pd0e-6th column.
CoRPoRATIoN NoTICEs-6H Idge-6th column
DANCING ACGDEMIEs-6th PdQe-2d column
- Sd PQOe-6th column
DIVIDEND NOTICEs-3d Pdqe-6th column.
DRY GOoDs-7h Pa0e-1st I'd Sd, 4th, 9th and 9th col
FiSAScIAI-3d Paor-5th and 9th columns.
FINE ARTs--6M PdQe-6h column
FURNITURE Sd PdOe-6th column.
HELP WANTED-7h Pd0e-6th column.
HORSES, CARRIAGES, &c.-6h PGge-0Ln Column
HOTELs-2d Pd0e-6th column
IcE CREAM Ga PG0e-5th column.
sTRTCTIoS-6h Pd0P-1st and ID columns
IFcTIRrs AND MEETINGs-6h Id0e-6th column
LOST AND FoUxD-6m Pd0e-2d column
MARBLg AID SLATE MANTEIs-3d Fd0e-6th column
MARRIAGts AND DEATns-5M Pd0e-6tn column 80
MTsCELIA AEFOUs-2d PdOe-6th column; SH fo0e-4lh'
5th, and 9th columns. A., -,
MrsIc1I ISsTRUMENTs-6h PGge-6th column.
NEW PUBIC ATIONs-6h PdOe-1st column.
PRoPosALs-Gh PG0e-6th column -, -, .
RyAI EsTATF For SALE-CTY-6h Pdge-3d column
AUCTION SALEs-6h PGge-3d column; 10 EAChAAGE
Sta Pdge-3d column - ,
BALES BY AUCrIoN-3d Pdge-6th column.
SPECIAL NOTICES -5h PdGe-6th column.
SITUATIONS WANTED MAIEs-7h Pd0e-2d column (;
FFuAIEs-.7h Paoe-2d 3D. 4th. 5th, and 9th columns.
BTEAMDoATs AND kAILRoADs-6h Pd0e-3d ana 4Ih
columns 80 ,., .-,.
eTFAMERs OcEkN-6h Pd0p-4th and 9th columns
TRACHERs-6h PdOe-2d column.
To LET-CITY PRoPERTY-6h Pd0e-3d column; BROOK,
IYR-6h Page-3d column; CogNTRY-6h Fage-Su
To WHOM IT MAY CoNcERN-7h Page-6th column