The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-23
Wit and RunlOr.


Wit and RumOr.
A LoNDoNER's sneeze-" Ca-ca-cat
show |"
| ARE your words of more weight when
you PROFOUND anything than when you
announce it? y5
BUDD DoB1E's trodding adimal Codes
bith Bald will widter in Cadifordia.-
NoTristoa0n Herald.
'THAT's the only wedding trip shall
probably ever take, said an old bache-
lor, as he stumbled over a brides train.
(! "Ir's all for the BEST" remarked
Binks, with sigh, as he paid for the
hat he had lost. "Nay, interposed the
lucky man, it's all for the better"
COUNTRY gent Qately citizen, who
has just missed an easy shot) econ
found the thingl" Giles with the bag):
"Oh, Measter don't I wish as I'd had
stoan -
SOME one says: IS It is not healthy
to go into the water after hearty meal. -
And then some one else asks Chow
about ish-hawks-can't they go in after
a hearty meal?"
"WHAT is heavens best gift to MANI"
asked young lady on Sunday night,
smiling sweetly on pleasant looking
clerk. GA horse" replied the young
man, with great prudence.
A BULGARIAN girl, it seems, was given
to Turkish soldier in lieu of pay. Lord
Derby regards the transaction as a
| lieu'd one, and blarsted Bulgar way of
paying ones debts.-I7ateg- Ocean.
"TF you can't keep awake" said
parson to one of his hearers, "when you
are drowsy, why don't you take pinch
of snuff" 81 think" was the reply,
"the snuff should be put into the SER
mon."
A LITTLE girl, 4 years old, created a
ripple by remarking to the teacher of
her Sunday-school class "Our dogs
dead. I bet the angels was scared when
they saw him coming up the path. He
is cross to strangers.
EDWIN "And now, darling, how are
we to keep our marriage a profound
secret2" Angelina promptly: Nothing
easier, Edwin dear. You have only to
behave to me as you have always done,
and nobody will suspect it"
/ IL 1S E6ldGSO VI LII OaI GIl, III LIS 1Stcb
illness, when he saw his fellow-doctors
consulting together at his bedside, that
he raised his head from his pillow, and
said, with d smile "Dear gentlemen,
let me die natural death.
A GIRL can make man fool
! See history for that
Can make a dress by Fashions rules
Or trim dainty hat.
But oft-from gaping crowds apart
I've pondered with surprise
On this: her rarest, dearest art,
You know, is making eyes"
SOME one was praising the British
public schools to Charles Landseer, and
said: GAIL our best men were public
school men. Look at our poets. There's
Byron, he was Harrow boy" eyes, )"
interrupted Charles, "and there's
Burnside was plowboy."
IT is not surprising to learn that
veterinary surgeon who committed
suicide in New York the other day shot
himself with Colts revolver. There
would have been similar appropriateness
in his selection of death dealing weapon
had he chosen a horse pistol WaSh@ra0-
tom Star.
GUEST: "Good-by; enjoyed our
selves SO much - Host $50 sorry
you are going. Now, can't we persuade
you9 How the time has flown! Hope
we shall see ag-" Coachman ICON
fidentially): evil OF make 'em too
late for the thrain, sorE I can asy--"
His master Tin dumb show: "If you
dare, sir Drive like the p
Punch.
The Cheyenne Leader tells Of man
whose "horse fell over calf and thus
killed him instantly" Which, now, was
killed-the man, the horse or the calf ?
There is a dreadful uncertainty about
this, somewhere. = Chicago Journal.
Not at all, sir. If the man fell over
we mean if the calf and horse-or rather
the man had performed double SOM
or-ah, the horse-oh, doggone 1t isn't
worth figuring on. Something a00s
killed, though - Cheyenne Leader.
Now HERE comes solemn old fogy in
morning paper, objecting to fun, Jokes,
puns, etc. That man would whip his
only boy for laughing after sunset-not
at sunset. Object to the little laughter
of the time We should like to engage
that man and set up vinegar factory.
One reflection of his awful face in
barrel of croton water would make
hogshead (no reflection OH the head OF
the sharpest kind of vinegar. The
Knight of the Rueful Countenance still
ives.-NeaO York Evening mail.
MERCHANTS GARGLING OIL.-Thls
standard liniment has been before the
people for over forty years, 1t having