The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-05-08
How Joe Fink Rode the Bull.


The National Granger is responsible
for this story:
Joe took notion to 60 in swimming,
and had just got his clothes off when he
saw Deacon Smiths bull making at him.
The bull was a vicious animal, and had
come near killing several persons, con-
sequently Joe ielt rather 'jubus." He
didn't want to call for help, for he was
naked, and the nearest place from where
| assistance could arrive was the meeting
house, which was at that time filled with
worshipers; among them was the "gal
Joe was paying his devoirs to-" So he
lodged the bull as the animal came at
him, and managed to catch him by the
| tail. He was dragged around until near
| ly dead. and when he thought he could
stand it no longer, he made up his mind
he had better hollow, and now we will
let him tell his own story:
$50, looking at the matter in all its
bearings, cum to the conclusion that
| I'd better let some one know where
motive whistle, and it warn't long be-
fore l seen the deacon's two dogs CON-
ing down like as If they war seein'
which could get thar first. I knowed
who they were arter; they'd jine the
bull agin me. So, saz [, old brindle, as
ridin' is as cheap as walkin' on this
route, il you've no objections I'll jest
take deck passage on that ar back o.
yourn. So 1 warn't long gittin' astride
of him. Then if you'd been thar you'd
have sworn that thar warnt anything
human in that ar mix, the sile flew SO
ortullY, as the critter and rolled around
the tield-0ne dog on one side and one
pother, tryin' to cllnch my feet.
| vad onh nnsond and pltaap1 and
prayed until 1 couldn't tell what did
last-and neither warn't Of no use, they
we're so ortully mixed up.
swell, reckon L had rid about half
an hour this way, when the old brindle
thought it is time to stop to take a sup
ply OF wind aud cool of little. So when
| we got round TO tree that stood thar,
he naturally halted; 80 sez l, old boy,
you will lose one passenger sartin. So
just clum up branch, kalkerlating to
roost till starved, aiore Pd ride around
that ar way any longer. 1 war making
tracks for the top OF the tree, when ]
heard somethin' a maxim an awful buzz
/ ziR overhead. kinder looked up, aud
lif thar wasn't-well. thars no use
swearin'-but it war the biggest hor-
nets nest ever built. You'll gin in no W,
L reckon, j., cause there's no help for
you. But an idea struck me then tnat L
stood heap better chance ridin' the
bull than whar l was. Sez l, old teller,
if you'll hold on FL ride to the next sta
tion anyhow, let that be whar 1t will.
$50 List drapped aboard Of him agln
and looked aloft to see what l had
gained by changing quarters; PW lial
: II thar warn't nigh half q bushel Of the
stingng yarmints ready to pitch into mt
when lhe word Ego" was gin. Some OF
t1n "A of r.
; me, and the rest charged on brindle.
''This time the dogs led of fust, deaf
bent for the deacoPs, and as soon as oil
brindle could git under way we follered
and as l was deck passenger, | hat
nothin' to do with sleerin' The cratt-if
had, we shouldn't have run that chan
mel, anyhow. But as l said before, tht
dogs tooks the lead, brindle and | next
|. and the hornets directly arter-the dogs
yellin', brindle bellerin', and the hornets
, buzzp and stingin'.
.Weli, we had got about two hundred
yards from the house, and the deacon
heard us and come out. seed him hol(
up his hand and turn white. l reckon
he was a prayin then, for he didn't ex
pect to be called for SO soon, and i
warn't long neither afore the hull con
, gregation-men, women and chlldreI
cum out, and then all hands went t.
| yellin'. None on 'em had the first notio
that brindle and belonged to this world
. just turned my head and passed tn
hull congregation. Well, we reached tn
fence that TODD dead ahead, and wen
ashore, over the old critters head
and landed on the other side and Ia
| stunned.
ut warn't long afore some as was no
so bad scared cum runnin' to see whar
was; for all hands kalkerlated that tn
!. bull and me belonged together. Blu
when brindle walked off by hisself the
seed how it war, and one of 'em sed:
: "Joe Fink has got the worst OF q scrim
> Image once in his life"
, "Gentlemen, from that day I hav
dropped the courtin business, and hav
: never spoke TO gal on that subjects; an
: when my hunt is up on this eartn there
be no more Finks, and its all owin' I
l Daannn SmiIh,s brinula hulI -