St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-03-10
Squibs.

ie t adore. She Shut il yourself
Shakespeare asks .'Whar is more mis-
cradle than discomfort ?" Content with
a bad thing.
It's an unpleasant fact that what your
friends call selt-pos>essiom, your enc
mics call brass.
Here a man is poor, his son is rich,
his grandson is poor. Make, spend,
break The circle is complete. The
capitalist in America is simply the sa-
gacious, sleepless, aggressive laborer-
Anna +. Dickinson.
Forward and loguacious youth by
J"ve. You know-upon my word, now
If were to see Il ghost. you know, |
would hr Il chattering idiot for the rest
of my life" Ingenious madden
"ftaVen't You seen ghost y
a man tanned dog that somebody
sent him, until the docile little creature
would eat off his hand. AT least it ate
of about three-quartcls of his thumb
but died of conclusion of the brain be
fore it could finish the band.
He was "a PIrisian. They asked him
what would be the most horrible thing
to him. He said, after long retiec-
tion, 1T would be to be guilletined
without knowing it. and to come to
my self all of Il sudden aud see nv self
in a glass, headless."
He entered ear door. When the
brakeman came inside and took KEY
out of his pecket, unlocked the stove,
put in some wood and locked the door
tgain. he asked him what he locked the
stove door for. The brakeman shut his
left eye. and said he locked the door So
the fire couldn't go out.
Ina the billiard saloon he found that
his adversary WAS too much for him.
He SAID Let us try II new thing; let
Us hlindtold each one eye, and | bet |
will beat. The Other man consented,
for he WAS confident of his skill, but he
lost. With the bandage his opponent
played as well Us without, for he was
blind III one eye.
Party with cold in his head to party
opposite (reteIring to open window III
railroad c;r) SAY, Wild you shud up
that widow ?" Middle-aged female ia
weeds. who has been talking the last
half hour, turning around Indignantly:
Nv hat do You mean, sir It's pretty
now de do when Il woman can't open
her mouth , I'll have you to know you
can't shut me upr Sensation.
See here, conductor, why don't YOU
have Il fire in this ear ?" We'll sou see
one of the directors is Il clothing man,
and another is Il doctor. and another is
Il dug store keeper, and another runs IA
tombstone factory, and you know in
this world people must live and let
]
90 ahead with your coffin
He used to clamp his feet up in little
boots. and limp painfully to her resi-
dcnce every sunday evening; but the
morning after his marriage he went in-
to a shoe maker 5, drew "a chalk mark
around lis foot, and about an inch dis
tant from it on both sides, and at the
heel and toe, and ordered the man to
make him IL pair of boots after that
pattern. Oh. thcIc's sweet liberty in
the marriage state.
The cat hath been called a domrstik
animal. hut never could tell why fore
| All thare IL dumcsilk about Il cat IT,
>ou kant lozc one they are rs tutf tn
lole as Il bad Irputashum IL. lu may
send one out of the state done up nicely
in Il meal bag. and the next morning
VA will find him alongside the kitchen
stove reddl tcw he stepped ON. Tharc
" only one thing about II cat that like,
and that IL they are very reasonable
little money goes Il great way i'll cats.
Josh Billings.
MY friend" said an incbriitrd man
"u the BIooklNm ferry boat To his neigh
i,or. ile he eudeavored to set his watch
''l the steam gauge, 'do yoa see that
minute hand juggling back and forward,
OF is there something wrong here ?"
painting significantly to his forehead
vt Il meeting in Londnm to receive a
!rpoIt from the missionaries sent to
discover the lost tribes of Israel, Lord
II was asked to take the chair. Il
take he replied, "a great interest in
,our researches. gentlemen. The fact
j.. have boIIowtd money from all the
Jews now known, and il YOU can find Il
new set | shall be very much Obliged
Rev. DIR. Ritchic of Edinburgh. ex-
iInining Il student. said, And You at
tended the class for mathematics -
Yes. ''llow many sides hats Il circle "
"Two." said the student. "What are
they ," The student answered. IAN in
side and an outside" But this was
nothing compared with what followed.
And You attended the moral philo-
>ophy class also ," ..lcs." well, does
any effect ever go before Il cause 7"
Yes" "Give me an instance ~ A
man wheeling Il barrow" The doctor sat
down and proposed no more questions,