The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-10-05
Al Sorts Of Paragraphs.

i've 10 walk IN despair.
- Economy is the new fall fashion,
and very good fashion, too.
= The nan who minds his own busi-
ness has good steady employment
= If lslsehood paralyzcd the tongue,
what death-like silence would peryadc
society.
- A true American is too proud to
beg aud too honest 10 steal. lie gets
trusted.
"Be content with what you haye,n
as the rat said 10 the trap when he left
hi, aitin II.
- Why was the first Of September
li,e the trs.nAgressiol of Adem7 Be-
c.-usc il wHs the beginning Of the Fall.
: A young poet of the realistic schoo.
writes: Time marches OH with the
slow measure ! tread of a man working
by the day"
= Along next winter when The wood
gives out and the potatoes run low. il
won't help the family bit 10 rene mber
that they went to the Centennial.
- A boy has written a composition on
the turtle, in which he says: A turtle is
not so frisky rs man, but he can stand
hot coal on his back lcnger without
squalling.
= IL is said that ladies who wear silk
are less liable than others to be struck
by lightning. Every woman with good
husband will now be provided with new
silk dress.
= If man does not make new nc.
iua!n!ances 81 he advances through life.
he will soon find himself left all alone.
~ man should keep his friendships in
constant repair
"A Connecticut schoossf,arm. who
WAS recently kissed in the dark by mis-.
take, explained her Omission To use any
light for nearly two weeks afterwards. OF,
the ground Of hard times.
= y tramp WAS recently met by Il hos
piiablc farmer in Westcllcster. who asked
him If he wanted work. No" replied
the tramp; what [ want is bloody
shirt and plenty of money"
= "Pompey. what am dat dat goes
wlcnde wagon goes, stops when de wagon
stops; it au no use t, dc wagon, and dc
wagon can't gi without itF's Il glib
it up, Glenn" "Why dc noise, oh
course"
- A boy iu Tennessee cnasm,,ed sui
eide the other day because his mother
sent him to the woods for hickory
stick, with which he was TO bc punished
for taking sugar out Of the sugar bowl"
= 1t Is said that yellow fever never
spreads in the pine woods. and cases taken
there lose their contagiOusness. From
THE circumstance il is argued that rosin
is the best Of all yellow fever dsiufec-
tants
"A beautiful but blind young lady
recovered her sight after marriage. On
hearing this bachelor wickedly OBJ
served that it was no uncommon thing
IL! the peoples eyes to be opened by
mntrimony.
= a Connecticut woman claims to be
the most economical housekccper living.
She has been at it forty years, and has
just begun on her second paper of pins.
She has used one needle almost da!ly for
the past twenty-five years.
- a few years since, at the celebration
OF nn anniversary, u poor peddler who
WAS present, being called upon for
t!oast, offered the following: "Here is
health to poverty-it sticks to man
when all his friends foraake him."
II assure you, madam, it is no
trouble TO show goods" said weak dry
goods clerk on Broad stect, who had been
taking down aud putting up everything
i'll his department for two hours without
making cent. He said it very swectly.
but he lied.
- A theological Student, supposed to
be deficient in judgment, was asked by a
Professor, in the course Of class exumi-
na.ion, Pray, Mr. E, how would
you discover fool /" "By Che questions
lie would ask," was .nc rather stunning
reply.
= Why is it that u man always Gsfers
knocking the ashes of his cigar upi:l
they have fallen inside lis vest. and q
woman always teari'ully declares, The
morning after the first white frost, that
size had Intended to bring those house
plants in the next day?
= In plowing down green crons, at.
iach heavy Chain to tho front of the
plow beam, which drags down the grass,
81 that it does not choke the plow. In
this way it can be plowed down 80 nicely
that one would hardly believe TWO feet
oi clover had been turned under.
a mercantile fl rm at Spirit Lake.
Iowa, have adopted e new method OF do.
ing business. No books are kept. When
u customer desires credit he goes to the
desk and borrows money, for which he
gives his note, payable with interest.
Lie then buys his goods aud pays tor
them.
= is it becoming ~ me?" asked u
lady, as she paraded in the costume OF
one hundred years ago, before the man
"ho ID not her lord and master, but is
hrr husband. "ies, my dear" said he
Meekly. Don't you wish 1 could dress
.his way all The .!a.e?" she asked. mo,
:::y dear" lie answered, but wish yo;
had lived when illat WAS the Style"
= David Durtee, Of Rhode Island, was
recently killed by fall from an apple
tree. lie was ninety-seven yeurs DID,
People OF that ago ought to stay on the
ground. Adam wus u comparatively
much younger man when he killed him.
sell, aud came 50 dcucedly Ut .r killing
the rest Of us, too, by falling from All
appie.tree.
- Dolbs (who is o jolly OLD bachelor)
and bright young lady acquaintance
were bantering each other about mar
riage. "Oh," said she, you'll get mar
ried one OF these days, / know and
you'd have me now ii ! would wait for
you." You'd have to wait until my
second childhood, tn en-" said Dubbs.
we'll, shouldn't have .ong to wait"
was the quick repartee from the la1y.
- In thriving town Of Michigan q
full Of agents, and almost everybody was
agent for something or other, certain
infant of that town, being blessed by the
Il l-l