davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
VERY IMPORTANT.

lhr. Editor Of The IEyjs ,G MtelHgcaccr:
As there is n great deal of rivalry everywhere
in the political field, in the social circle, and
even in the church, therefore you might expect
it in the business profession. This rivalry in
business has reached the climax in the stove
trade.
Ever since the TIMES COOK took the Gold
Medal for quick baking it has been attacked by
jealous rivals, but since it has taken the lead
of all tirst.class Cook Stoves in Baltimore and
bids fair to finally superccdc them 1t has in
cured the spite and envy Of those who could
not secure the sale of il, so much so that they
take our double llrc-shicld cross piece and I'M
crew them and show buyers one.half and say
also say it will not bake well, draw WELL is not
No. iron, &C., &c.
SO the only security for buyers is 10 come di-
rect to No. 9G ~ Gay street, HCdu' Front Street,
and see for themselves if the TIMES COOK
isn't the largest, heaviest, most economical, and
best BAKING STOVE ever made. Every one
of the TIMES COOK is guaranteed TO bake per-
fcctly.
The reason can sell them so cheap is that |
am connected with the "Quakcrtown Stove
Works, !" and we make them ourselves, so You
buy fIom first hands. No two profits at young
Gluck's.
We do say it is the heaviest, largest and the
hest working stove ever offered for sale,
Nearly eight thousand sold.
Call and examine for yourself
W. j. II. GLUCK,
9G n. GAY STREET,
(hct the Bridge and Front STD
Baltimore, Md.
,5aS Ask your ncighbOr about it. au2l-1y
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
VARIETIES.

If we may believe the Western papers,
when the land is tickled with a hoe it
laughs with potato bugs.
"A Granger writes to q rural paper to
ask show long COWS should be MIXED ~
Why, the same as short cows, of course.
"A lazy fellow falling distance of fifty
feet and escaping with only few scratch
es, n bystander remarked that he was "too
slow to fall fast enough to hurt himself"
"A fashion chronicler says: "Old lace
is more fashionable and more worn than
new" Old clothes arc more "worn" than
new, too, and it is hoped the time will soon
come when they will be more fashionable.
"A young boy who had been fishing
all day was slowly vending his way home,
when he was heard to complain: "If was
horse, now, I'd be rubbed down and well
fed; but I'm boy, and I've got to go
home, milk the cows, bring in wood, tote
water and rock the baby for an hour and
a-half"
When boy has been off all day, con-
trary to the expressed wish of his mother,
anu on approaching 'ic hoileeee"u Ut
night, with an anxious AID cautious tread,
finds company Mt tea, the expression of
confidence and rectitude which suddenly
lights up his face cannot be reproduced on
canvass.
lie isn't six years old, and lie said z:
"Pleasc, sister Sarah, can't | have another
piece of that nice custard pic you made ~
aWhy, deary, you are too full for utterance
now. Look at that luscious dumping on
your plate not half eaten" "Oh, well, sis
ter, l know the dumping side of my
stomach is full, but the custard-pie side
feels rather empty yet" That other piece
of pie is missing.
This is the reason why cats wash theft
faces after meals: A cat caught II sparrow,
and was about to devour it, bnt the spar
row said: mo gentleman eats till he
has first washed his face" The cat, struck
with this remark, set the sparrow down
and began to wash his face with his paw
but the sparrow flew away. This vexed
Puss exceedingly, and he said: "As long
as live l will eat first and wash my face
afterwards" Which all cats do to this
day.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
Sound MaXins.

One acre of ground well prepared, man
ured and cultivated will produce more
than two acres which received only the
same degree of cultivation, care and labor
expended upon them.
One cow, horse, mule, sheep or hog, we'll
fed, is more profitable than two kept on
the same amount of food necessary to keep
one well.
No farmer who buys wheat, oats, corn,
fodder and hay, as rule, for ten years,
can keep the sheriff from his door in the
end
The farmer whose habitual beverage is
cold water is healthier and wiser than he
who does not refuse to drink.
1t is worth while for all farmers to know
that thorough culture is better than three
mortgages on their farm.
That an offensive warfare against weeds
is five times less expensive than defensive
one.
That good fences pay better than law
suits with your neighbors.
That hay is q great deal cheaper made
in summer than purchased in winter.
axThat more stock perish from famine than
fodder.
That horse that lays its cars back and
looks lightning when any one approaches,
is vicious. Don't buy it.
That scrimping the grain of fatting hogs
is a waste of grain.
That overfed fowls won't lay eggs.
That educating children properly is
money loaned at 100 per cent.
That one evening spent at home in study
is more profitable than ten Longing about
country taverns.
That cows should always be MIXED reg
ularly and dry.
That it is the duty of every man to take
a good, reliable, entertaining paper, and
pay for it promptly. The value received
is a hundred fold.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
Yankee Doodle.

After the Ministers Plenipotentiary of
Great Britain and the United States had
nearly concluded their pacific labors at
Client, the burghers of that quaint old
Dutch city determined to give an enter
tainment in their honor, and desired to
have the national airs Of the two treaty
making powers performed as part of the
programme. So the musical director was
directed to call upon the American Minis
tiers and obtain the music of the national
air of the United States. A consultation
ensued, at which Bayard and Gallatin IA
vored Hail Columbia" while Clay, Rus
sell, and Adams were decidedly in favor
of"Yankee Doodle" The musical direc-
tor asked if any of the gentlemen had the
music, and receiving negative reply, sug-
gestcd that perhaps one of them could
sing or whistle the air. II can't" said Mr..
Clay, ~ never whisted or sung a tune in
my life - perhaps Mr. Bayard can 2"
"Neither can l." replied Mr.. Bayard, "per-
haps Mr.. Russell can 2" Mr.. Russell, Mr..
Gallatin, and Mr.. Adams in turn confessed
their lack of musical ability. II have it,"
exclaimed MI. Clay, and ringing the bell
he summoned his colored body servant
"John," said Mr.. Clay, "whistle Yankee
Doodle for this gentleman" John did
80, the chief musician noted down the air,
and at the entertainment the Client Bur-
ghers' Band played the national air of the
l United States, with variations.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

The other day Detroter who has n
good record of army service took down his
revolver to shoot a cat which had been
hanging about the house. After looking
at him while he fred six shots, the cat
walked away. While he was loading up
for more destruction, the shooters small
boy inquired, "Father did you ever kill
any one while you were in the army ?" III
suppose so, my SON." After II long pause
the boy continued, Then you must have
got near enough to hit 'em with an axe,
didn't you2n 1t was then discovered to
be about school time.
A man who believes in self-improve-
ment suggested to his wife recently that
they should argue some question frank
ly and freely every evening, and try to
learn more of each other. The question
for the first night happened to be whether
a woman could he expected to get along
without spring hat, and he took the
affirmative but when he was last seen he
had climbed up into the hay-loft and was
pulling the ladder up after him.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

SAYING DIsAGREEABLE THINGS. -. No
class of people can inf1ict such martyrdom
on their associates as those who are given
to the habit of reminding others of their
faiings or peculiarities. You are never
safe with such person. When you have
done your very best to please, and are
feeling kindly and pleasantly, out will pop
some bitter speech, some underhand stab
which you alone comprehend-a sneer
which is masked, but too well aimed to be
misunderstood. Only half dozen words,
spoken merely because he is afraid you
are too happy or too conceted, and ought
to be "taken down peg" Yet they are
worse than so many blows. How many
sleepless nights have such mean attempts
caused tender hearted idiots How, af.
ter them, one awakes, with aching eyes and
head, to remember that speech before any
thing else-that bright, sharp, we'll aimed
needle of a speech that probed the very
centre of your soul. There is only one
comfort to be taken. The repetition of
such attacks soon wean your heart from
the attacker; and this once done, nothing
he can say will ever pain you more
While, as for him, one friendship after
another, MORALLY stung by his sarcasm,
dies, and he finds himself at last alone
and triendless-as he deserves to be. Set
ting aside the unkindness of the habit, and
looking at it in an entirely worldly point
of view, it does not pay to say disagreea.
BILE things TO those who love us, as our
ill-nature will in the end recoil upon our
selves.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

AN IMMENSE PoULTRY YARD.-A. b.
Robson of Greene, Chenango county, N.
Y, has all immense poultry yard. He keeps
G,OOO ducks, 1000 turkeys and 200 hens.
They consume daily sixty bushels of corn,
two barrels of meal, two barrels ofpotatoes,
and quantity of charcoal He has twelve
buildings for his fowls, from 100 to 200
feet long, ia feet wide, and seven feet un-
der the caves, with door in each end of
them. He says there is money in poultry,
and he thinks he can make ont of his 5000
ducks enough to pay for his egg house,
which cost $1,000. He intended to Keep
great many more next season. and has
agents out all over the country buying up
poultry and eggs.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
BE Your Own Right Hand Man.

People who have been bolstered up all
their lives are seldom good for anything
in crisis. When misfortune comes, they
look around for somebody to cling to or
lean upon. If the prop is not there down
they go. Once down they arc as helpless
as a capsized turtle, and they cannot find
their feet again without assistance. Such
persons no more resemble men who have
fought their way to position, making dit
ficulties their stepping stones and deriving
determination from their defeat, than vines
resemble oaks, or spluttering rush lights
the stars of heaven. Efforts persisted into
achievements, train q man to selt-reliance !;
and when lie has proven that the world
can trust him. One of the best lessons
q father can give his son is this: Work !;
strengthen your moral and mental faculties
as you would strengthen your muscles by
vigorous exercise. Learn to conquer cir
cumstances; you are then independent of
fortune. The men OF athletic minds, who
left their mark on the years in which they
lived, were all trained in rough school.
They did not mount to their high position
by the help Of leverage; they leaped the
chasm, grappled with the opposing rocks
avoided avalauches, and when the goal
was reached felt that, but for the toll that
had strengthened them as they strove, it
could never have been obtained.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

A farmer attending fair with hun
drcd pounds in his pocket took the pre-
caution of dcpositing it in the hands OF
the landlord of the public house at which
he stopped. Having occasion to use it
shortly afterwards, he resorted to mine host
for payment. But the landlord, too deep
for the countryman, wondered what he
meant, and was quite sure no such sum had
ever been lodged in his hands by the as
tonished rustic. After Intellectual appeals
to the recollection, and finally to the honor
of Bardolph, the farmer applied to Curran
for advice.
"IIave patience my friend" said the
counsel; "speak to the landlord civilly
tell him you have left your money with
some other person. Take friend with
you, and lodge with him another hundred
in the presence of your friend, and come to
me-"
He did so and returned to his legal
friend.
"And now l can't see how am going to
be the better for this, if get my second
hundred back again, but how is that to be
done 2"
$50 and ask him for it when he is alone,
said the counsel.
"Aye, sir, asking won't do I'm afraid
without my witness, at any rate"
"Never mind, take my ADVICE" said hir
counsel edo as bid you and return to
me-"
The farmer returned with his hundred
glad to find that safe in his possession.
"Now, sir, must be content, but don't
see I'm much better off"
"Well, them" said the counsel, "now
take your friend along with you, and ask
the landlord for the hundred pounds YOU
friend saw you leave with him."
We need not add that the willy landlord
found he had been taken off his guard
| while our honest friend returned to thank
his counsel, exultingly with both hun
dreds in his pocket.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
@ tic al.
My School Days.
BY JOHN WHITTIER.

Still sits the school house by the road,
A ragged beggar summing;
Around it still the sumach grows,
And blackberry vines are running.
Within the masters desk is seen,
Deep Scared by raps official;
The varying floor, the battered seats,
The jack knife's carved initial.
The charcoal frescoes on its walls;
1t doors worn sill bctraying
The feet, that creeping slow to school,
Went storming out to playing.
Long years ago winters sun
Shone over all at setting;
Lit up its western window pancs,
And low caves icy fretting
1t touched the tangled golden curls,
And brown eyes full of grieving,
or one who still her steps delayed
When all the school were leaving.
For near her stood the little boy
Her childish favor singled,
His cap was pulled down on his face,
Where pride and shame were mingled
Pushing with restless feet the snow
To right and left, he fingered,
And rcstlessly her tiny hands,
The blue check apron fingered.
Tie saw her lift her eyes; he felt
The soft hands light caressing,
And heard the trembling of her voice,
As if Il fault confcssing.
"Im sorry that | spelt the word
hate TO go above you,
Because"-the brown eyes lower fell
Because, you see, love you"
Still memory 10 the gray haired man
That sweet child face is showing;
Dear girl the grasses ON her grave
Have forty years been growing
He lives to learn in lifc's hard school,
How few who pass above him
Lament their triumph and his loss
Like her-bCcausc they love him.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

SOME LEFT.-The other evening a very
excited man called at the Central Station,
and demanded warrant for the arrest OF
his neighbor for Islander. He was told how
to bring about such a result, and then lie
wanted to know how much damage he
could probably recover.
"What is the slander?' asked the cap.
tain.
"Why, he says l stole two hogs and was
sent to Jail"
"And didn't you steal two hogs?'
81 did"
"And didn't you go to Jail p
Eyes, sir"
swell, then, how can it be SANDER ior
him to say so ?" asked the captain.
"Wcll, just want this town to under
stand" shouted the indignant man, "that
fellow can steal two hogs and go to Jail
and still have big pile of character left!
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

and shoot them forthwith, but his officers
interfered, and persuaded him to commute
their sentence, which he did, and con-
demned them to be chained together and
to do mental camp work for thirty days.
In regard to the gallant Colonel who
lost his ear, it appears that the little fight
ing blood that he had in him oozed out
at his wound and he begged leave to be
invalided and sent home, which was done
When he arrived in London he got q
cobbler to make linn an artificial ear out OF
flesh colorcd morocco, but he ever after,
ward went by the name of the leather car
ed Colonel.
Tub1j3
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12

HIsToRIcAL TRADITION OF THE DEATH
OF THE APosTLEs-Matthew is supposed
to have suffered martyrdom, or was slain
with a sword in a city of Ethiopia. Mark
was dragged through the streets of Alex
andria, in Egypt, till he expired. Luke
was hung on an olive tree in Greece. John
was put into cauldron Of boiling oil and
escaped death; he afterwards died a natu
raj death at Ephesus. James the Great
was beheaded at Jerusalem. James the
Less was thrown from wing of the tenn
Pile, and then beaten to death with full
ler's club. Philip was hanged up against
a pillar at Hierapolis. Bartholomew was
tlayed alive by the command ola barbar-
Gus king. Andrew was bound to cross,
whence lie preached to the people till he
expired. Thomas was run through the
body with lance at Coromandel, in the
East Iudies. Jude was shot to death with
arrows. Simon Zelotcs was crucificd in
Persia. Matthias was first stoned and
then beheadcd. Peter, who was crucilied
asked that he might be with his head
downward.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-05-12
THE EGIS & INTELLIGENCER,
IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY by
F. w. B A K E r.
Terns-S so a Year, in Advance
.. otherwise $500 Will be charged.

TRANSIENT ADvERTIsEMENTs.-one Square, two inser-
lions, $780, Each subsequent insertion % cents Lon
ger advertisements in the same proportion. space
equal to six lines makes n square.
"a Yearly advertisements al special rates.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14
FROM SHAKESPEARE.

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar;
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried
Grapple them TO thy soul with hooks OF steel
Beware OF entrance to a quarrel; but, being in
Bear It that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each mans censure, but reserve thy judg
ment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancy; rich, not gaudy,
For the apparel oft prOclaims the man.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend;
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above alto thine own self be true,
And il must follow as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false TO any man.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14
The Law Of NeWspapers.

1. Subscribers who do not give express notice
to the contrary are considered as wishing to
continue their subscriptions.
2. If any subscribers order the discontinuance
of their newspapers, the publisher may con-
tinue to send them until all arrearages are
paid.
g. If Ifsubscribers neglect or refuse TO take their
newspapers from the offices to which they are
directed, the law holds them responsible until
they have settled the bills, and ordered them
discontinued.
4. If subscribers remove to other places with
out informing the publisher, and the newspa-
pers are sent to the former direction. they are
held responsible.
). The courts have decided that refusing to
take newspapers from the office, or removing
and leaving them uncalled for, is prima facie
evidence of Intentional fraud.
8. The postmaster who neglects TO give the
legal notice of the neglect of person to take
from the office the newspapers addressed 70
him, is liable to the publisher for the subscrip,
ton price.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14

TNHE GRANGER CHURN,
i A new invention,
Makes the best of butter
With the least attention.
Now all good dairymen,
Who would a reputation earn,
Should make their butter
In the Granger Churn.
1t makes more butter
From the same amount of cream
Than any other Churn
That ever was seen.
And it makes it so yellow,
With such excellent taste,
1t is the pride of the seller,
For ii sells in such haste.
The grocers all want it
The butter 1 mean
To supply all their customers,
From laborer to queen.
1t will churn in five minutes,
l am happy to say,
And does not waste time
Like the old-fashioned way.
hose that have tried it
Speak in complimentary terms
And say they will use it
In preference to all other Churns.
A. GOODNOUGH 's the name
Which plainly you'll see
Between First and Second streets,
Entrance on "B."
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14

ps- All Freight Delivered in Portland free OF
drayage.
BS- Freight Delivered at Astoria with Dis
patch and at the Lowest Rates.
s-5f ]. D. BILEs, Agent. ..
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14
MUCH NEEDED.

A GOOD HOTEL AND LIVERY STABLE
n Is greatly needed at Ilwaco and North
Beach, w. T. Parties desIrous of investing
will be furnished ground upon very favorable
terms. Applyto I'D. HOLMAN, Portland.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14
MISCELLANEOUS.
"a Complete Pictorial History of the
Times.''--s'The best, cheapest, and most
successful Family Paper In the UnfOn.'
Harper's W eek1y.
ILLUSTRATED
NOTICES OF THE PRESS.


sGHarper's Weekly" is the ablest and most
powerful illustrated periodical published in
this country. It's editorials are scholarly and
convincing, and carry much welght. lis Illus
trations of current events are full and fresh,
and are prepared by our best designers. With
a circulation of 10000, the weekly" is read by
at least half million persons, and its influence
as an organ of opinion is simply trem endous.
The weekly maintains positive position
and expresses decided views on political and
social events.-[Louisville COurier-Jo ournal.
Its articles are models of high-tOned discus
sion, and its pictorial illustrations are often
cOrroborative arguments OF no small torce.-
IN. Y, Examiner and Chronicle.
Its papers upon existent questions and ltS
inimitable cartoons help to mould the senti-
| 'Harper's Weekly' stands at the head of il
lustrated journals in the United States, in cir
culatiOD, editorial ability, and pictorial Illus
| Terms:
Postage Free to all Subscribers in the U. S.
HARPER's WEEKLY, one year..-.........-..s4 90.
81 90 includes prepayment of U. s. postage by
! the publishers.
| Subscriptions to "Harper's Magazine
weekly" and "Bazar," to one address 1UI one
year, $40 90; or, two of Harper's Periodicals to
one address for one year, 81 90: postage free.
An Extra Copy Of either the "Magazine,'
weekly" or "BazaT" will be supplied gratis
for every Club of Five Subscribers at 81 90 each
at one remittance; or, Six Copies for $40 co.
without extra copy: postage free.
BACK NUMBERS can be supPlled al any IlIhe
The Annual Volumes of "Harper's Weekly,
in neat cloth binding, will be sent by express
free of expense, 81 90 each. A Complete Set
comprising Nineteen Volumes, sent on re-
ceipt OF cash at the rate of S5 . per volume
freight at expense Of purchaser.
Prominent attention will be given in "Har
per's Weekly" to the illustration Of the Centen
nial International Exposition.
Newspapers are not to copy this advertise
ment without the express orders of Harper &
Brothers.
/ Address HARPER & BROTHERS,
nl6 New York.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14
FISHERIES AND TANNERIEs.

VERY DESIRABLE SITES FOR SALMON
Y Fisheries and Tanneries for sale.
Apply to J. d. HOLMAN, Portland,
And after February 5th, at nwaco, w. T.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-07-14
REDUCED RATEs.

ONLY A FEW MORE LOTS AT ILWACo
" and North Beach will be sold at the Re
duced Rates, and to parties only who intend to
build the present season. Apply to
l. d. HOLMAN, Portland.