The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-06-09
NEW NOR'-WESTERS

Natural slippers-Eels.
Men of mark-Ri1emen. +'
The merchants fair-His wife. ,5l
The best size for man-Exercise.
"A child of the sea is harbor buoy.
The great prayer is patience. -Buddba.
-"Cooling his ear at a key -hole'' is very
good.
Men who move in the right direction
Teamsters.
Moving for new trial-courting a
second wife. f sfz
Very few lazy men ever climb the lad
der Of fame. s*aa
Offerings of the acknowledgements
on the dollar.
Another person who desires a hearing
"a deaf man.
The effective preacher always hits the
man who sits in the other pew.
"A difference of taste in jokes is great
strain on the affections.-Dan6el Deromda.
Faded writing in. ink can be restored
by brushing over with solution of sulphido
of ammonium. f @
As soon as the novelty wears of, man
never wakes baby up for the purpose of
hearing it laugh.
There is man living in Topeka, Kas.,
whose name is Golden silvers He is a
hard-money man, of course.
1t is 'high toned" to say ''Good morn
ing" when one meets ones friend, even if it
is o'clock in the afternoon. ''Good after
noon'' is obsolete.
I'm seventeen weeks the Prince of Wales
travelled 1900 miles by land and 1880 by
ocean. Dom Pedro has beaten him in
seventeen days. t ..x .4e
What cord is that which is full of knots
which no one can unite, and in which no
one can tie another? A cord of wood, of
course.
Rhode Island sends to the Centennial a
policeman who measures six feet three in
ches. That comes from living in small
State. Not having room to spread, he ran
up.
Half dozen men may 60 down consec-
utively on the same piece of banana peel,
and yet each will express himself as differ
emily as if he had been brought up in a
separate language.
The law of Massachusetts will let a
Seventh Day Adventist keep Saturday for
Sunday, but won't let him 60 fishing on
Sunday. He can ride, drive or walk, but
he must give the fish rest.
When you address hotel clerk on bu-
siness it is always proper to beg his indul-
gence for moment only; You may inter-
rupt conversation he is holding with
friend about the mule race.
An exchange says: "We are in receipt
Of two poems. one ON the Throbbing Brain
and the other on Bleeding Heart We
will wait until we receive one on the 'Stom-
achache' and publish all three Of them TO-
gether."
1t was Cheyenne small boy who, be-
ing talked to by his Sunday school teacher
on sins and frailties of the body, was asked,
"Well, my son, what have you besides this
sinful body?" Quick as thought the ur-
chin responded, ''A clean shirt and nice
nau uair of hreoches -
At the postofice exhibit window in
New London are two postal cards, one of
which reads: "Polly, why don't you an
swer my letter." and the other, ssPolly, ,am
I forgotten?' These two conundrums are
plainly answered by turning the cards over
and observing that they are without direc-
tions of any description, and all this while,
says the Norwich Bulletin, Polly is pining
for those very conundrums.
q A young man in Wisconsin, while in
the woods, attempted to use the crotch of a
young sappling for bootjack. He gave
pull, but slipped and fell on the broad of
his back, with one of his feet high in the
air sticking fast in the tree. From this un-
comfortable position he was unable to ex-
tricate himself, and he lay there struggling
until 10 o'clock the next day, when he was
discovered by party of friends who had
been hunting for him all of the previous
night.