davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
WHOLE NO. 1922.

has been rearrauged with a dome
and stand of fruits and vegetables
which is really beautiful.
The flower beds planted out in the
grounds are looking very nicely
though not so well as did those in
Vienna at the exposition.
The machinery turns. saws, and
whirls as usual but | am too tired of
it to go in there any oftener than is
necessary The awards are given.
but as We | have seen few who have
received them | would have given
awards to every one who deserved
them bad | been the Commission.
and | should not have required gold
spectacles to ard my vision either.
Would | not like to have The Pow
or for few days. I'd show them
at least that there is one person in
the world that appreciates skill. pa
tience, and honest industry without
being in any way biased-except in
the case of my personal friend. Any
how | would give Chenet Bros. a
medal big as plate for having rem
dered sttainsble really excellent.
durable. handsome, and tarna6Ie
black silk dress to people who have
70 plan and work and save and
.rimp aud advise with friends and
consult with dress makers and deny
themselves so much before they can
even get one of their dresses, which
are so good and so cheap, and who
never would have been able to get an
imported dress When you stand by
Chenet Bros. elegant case of superb
silks you just bless American enter
prise and inventive genius which has
perfected an apparatus for spinning
silk from the pierced cocoons and thus
reducing the price of raw silk to
very low price, as compared with
that which eompels the destruction of
the butterfly which would produce
eggs which in turn would produce
hundreds of worms which would
otherwise have been lost. So with
their silk spinning Cbenet Bros. pro-
duce a splendid article of dress as
elegant and rich as it is economical
on account Of its durability, and we
the women are the gamers. would
not be afraid to Iwager--that Cbenet
Bros: have been the means of pro.
noting more marriages by furnishing
such loves of cheap silks to poor girls
who thus captivate their lovers, have
smoothed more wrinkles in pretty
faces and brought healing oil into
more families than almost any other
public benefactor that ever lived, and
| move that a vote of thanks be given
to them for all their good actions
Who will second the motion? Why.
If no one else comes forward it will
be
OLIVE HARPER.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
Railroad Guide.

Yesterday afternoon a youpg man
whose business it was to sell railroad
guides to any one who would buv
found a Jefferson Avenue clothing
dealer sitting 10 an arm chair in front
OF bis door, and afte- kindly saIuta-
tion, the agent handed out his book
and said:
There is the hsnd;est little book
10 the world 1t contains the name
time table and route Of every railroad
10 the country"
II never buys such kind Of pooks -
replied the dealer, as he glanced
through it.
But you want that pamphlet. nv
dear sir. You look like a man who
travels around considerable. and no
traveller can get along without one Of
these guides"
Il don't care to guide no railroad.
said the dealer. shaking his head and
turning away.
Hold on, nOw-just look through
1t once. Suppose, for instance, that
you want to go to New Orleans"
IL shall nefer go there as long as
! am born
well suppose you should want to
90 to Omaha"
"Den | don't 60"
What do You do when you want
to go to Chicago asked the persis-
tent agent
al sthays at home.r
We'll. suppose you had to gog'
wouldn't you look at a railroad time
table them"
"No, sir. should go down py de
depot, get on der train, buy some ap-
pies OF der poy, aud l should step of
at Chicago like some greasel''
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
HIS own Medicine.

How many doctors would be will
ing to take the medicines they pre-
scribe Or how many inventors are
willing to risk their own lives to test
their own inventions? Once upon
a time a man went to the Duke OF
Wellington with patented article.
"Wbat have you to offer ?" asked
the Duke.
"A bullet proof jacket, your
grace"
"Put it on"
The inventor obeyed. The Duke
rung bell. An sid-de-camp present.
edbi mself
"Tell the captain of the guard to
order one Of his men TO load with ball
and cartridge"
The inventor disappeared forwitb,
and no money was wasted on that m
ventlOn.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
Josh Billings Philosophy

The cheapest and best wav to con-
vice fool is to agree with him.
We love those who are depeadent
upon US. and respect those on whom
we are dependent
What a man gets in this world for
nothing be is very apt to value at
what it cost him.
The man who is reckless of his life
generally holds it at about its market
value.
The msgpies are great takers, but
they don't tell us anything new.
Men often fail to furnish good rea-
sons for what they do women can
always give a good excuse.
The safest thing that ] can do is
to hold my tongue | have learned
this BY hearing other folks talk.
| have come to the conclusion that
civilization in this world has cost
about ninety cents on the dollar.
No man ever let go bis hold vet
WithouV eNpectibS 10 get Detter
one.
First comes virtue, then comes
knowledge, then comes energy-these
are three king-pins Of human excel
lence.
To be thoroughly educated a man
must know himself, and no man has
lived long enough Tor that yet
Forget the past young man. attend
to the present and let the future take
care OF itself.
The great reason why so many
marriages are unhappy is, before mar
riage We see too little and afterwards
We take notice Of too much.
A maxim is page Of good sense
boiled down to a paragraph
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
Wanted a Testimonial.

They had quarreled Sunday even.
ing. He got mad and swore he'd
leave her Then she got vexed and
told him he could do as be pleased
He left. The next night be came
around again. He asked TO see her
alone. She readily complied. She
was all of q tremor Her heart went
out to him in gush of sympathetic
love. She stood ready to throw both
armies about bis neck, and crv ont
her joy. There was not much color
IN his face and bis voice was buskv
He said:
Il have been with you six months
Matilda. aud ] tried in all that time
to do what was right He paused
an instant to recover the voice which
was faltering rapidly, while her
trembling increased. II know that
have got considerable temper and
that do not control it always asI
ought. But | have tried to Ee faith
ini 70 you, tried to do everything
that thought would tend to make
you happy. And feeling this | have
called tonight to see Il you would be
kind enough to give me a sort of tes-
timonial to this effect. so that I could
show 1t to any other Young lady I
might want to go with. It might
help me-
He looked at her anxiousIv An
the color left her face in flush. She
made great effort to swallow some
thing which threatened to choke her
Then she spoke;
"fou get out of this house as quick
as you can, you miserable whelp. or
my father shall kick you out"
He don't toy with time. He left
without the testimonial.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
A western tailor adrertised:

A western tdIIOf HuFttlI5tu.
"Wanted-two or three girls 10
put on pants"
DIR. Mary Walker called next morn
ing and said;
Now bring on your pants and
don't look"
The tailor explained, aud she left
with a sorrowful air, yowiug she
would send him a grammar as soon
as she got home.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

commeneed his upward passage
caused oy the natural bOuyancy of the
human body After this he only 70
membered feeling of suffocstiou. a
gurgling spasm, and all was over
uGtil he awoke to an sgOnizing pain
of reviving consciousness in the arms
OF bis boats crew. Truly one Of the
most remarkable escapes from death
on record-Cleuelapd Times
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
CENTENNIAL LETTER.
PHILADELPHIA, Nov. 6, 1876.

PHILADELPHIA, NOV. b, 1876.
Editors Herald =
l don't think there
is anything so good as the California
fruits out at the Exhibition, and so
YOU won't scold if | say 50, even
though Pennsylvania has large ex-
hibit on show. But our fruits are so
fine, so big, and SO luscious that you
cannot but remark the difference
Our grapes grow in lunches so full
that each crowds the other until they
are all sorts of shapes, instead of
round as orthodox grapes ought to
be. Our apples grow until they for
get how big they are, and they don't
know when to stop, but just keep on
growing until they are almost big
enough TO make it necessary to keep
one cur to sell slices of from when
one wants enough to make pies Of
for dinner. Our plums are big as
geese eggs and as sweet as honey
our strawberries and cherries have
to be divided TO eat, like the oysters
here; and our pears are more like in.
yerted balloons than fruit, and 80 on
in proportion. If anybody don't be.
lieye what say let them visit the
Pathological exhibit of Mr.. Joseph
Newman, the great Pioneer SILK
grower OF California, in the Pomo-
logical Hall out at the Centennial.
Mr.. Newman has also q magnificent
display of raw silk, cocoons, silk.
worms, and eggs, and elegant silk
flags all Of California. He has la
bored under many difficulties in in.
PRODUCING the silk culture in Cslifor.
MIA. and spent thousands Of dollars,
besides several years Of unrecom-
pensed work, and at last has sue
ceeded in creating demand for silk
that California supplies, thus intro
ducing q new industry and opening q
new resource in that state already 30
rich. The worms and cocoons are
called the finest in the Exhibition
Mr.. Newman has expended some
81, 400 to bring on this exhibit and
arrange lis cases, none of. which be
can hope to receive, but, as be has
always worked just so, doing much
for California; credit and receiving
bot meagre encouragement, he expects
nothing, only the eredl. Of having
given the last years of his life to cre-
ate q new industry in our beloved
State. And now in addition 10 that,
he has had sent on this fruit, though
it costs 81, 400 in freight for earh car
load an expense that it is impossi-
ble to reimburse, even with the sale
Of the fruit, as it is 30 perishable.
But il is good to see real fruit again.
All the world seems TO think now
that il must visit the Exhibition at
once, aud 90 the city is foil, and the
Centennial crowded; and it is anus
ing, 70 say nothing worse. 70 see the
people push ard crowd and stare, but
il is no fun to be among the crowd
for you stand more chance Of being
KNOCKED down and trampled upon
than to escape unhurt Yesterday
trying to see the head of the Sleep
ing lolsnths, which is carved in but
Ter hy Mrs. Caroline Brooks, . wo-
man deliberately pushed me. with
malice and aforsthought and deadly
intent, and ! nearly fell ont the door
and down four steps. ! only state
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

the newspapers are certainly dis
coursgipg to oil who contemplate
entering into that holy state. People
generally refuse to profit by the expe
rience Of others, iu this SORT o.
thing, however. They feel that they
aud their particular affinity ere ex
ceptions to the general rule. and they
will love and cling to each other as
long as life lasts. This is Q pleasant
little egotism, by the way, that We all
indulge 10 more or less, in various re-
leuicns of life. We are fond of i'm
agining that we are exempt from or
superior to the ordinary exigeneies ol
existence. that other people suffer
from. More wise in their day and
generation, however, Is couple, who
were recently united in this city in q
manner which has produced An uni
versal ripple in their eircle--sn cdu-
cated-higbly respectable one, by
the way. Both lady and gentleman
are highly cultivated, re1ned people,
of attractive personal appearance.
Each is lowering on the brink'of the
third decade of existence, and while
capable Of the deepest and most sin
cere affection, have learned enough
of the world to be thoroughly pru-
dent When they decided to unite
their fortunes, they went at it in a
very business like way, and instruct
ed their lawyers to p:epare q mar
riage contract which would permit
the restoration of either party to the
statu quo ante m ltrimOninm at aDy
day, when either stall feel that such
is desirable. The contract is very
carefully drawn. aud provides that all
the property that either is endowed
with at the time of marriage shall re-
vert to him or her intact at the same
time of dissolution of .he union, and
all property acquired by joint efforts
shall be equally divided. Should
any children result from the union,
the girls shall be given to the mother
and the boys to the father, if q sepa-
ration takes place. This extraordina-
ry document was read to the assem-
bled guests at the wedding, who were
asked to fix their signatures to it af-
ter those of the bride and groom 1t
is claimed by many that this is q
model to which the marriage contract
of the future will conform.
POOL GAMBLING
apprehend that 10 the near future
there will have to be the same repres-
sive legislation brought to bear upon
the species of gambling known as
pool-selling ss their has been TO de-
stroy lotteries and gift
enterprises. Pool-selling has already
reached q great development. Pools
are sold everywhere, and on every
possible occurrence. At first confined
to horse-racing, il extended to boat
ing, baseball, and now to elections,
and the war prospects in Europe. In
extent it is simply immense. During
the recent races at j erome Park the
amount of pools sold in three rooms
alone averaged over $i50,0 making
from 81 200, 900 TO 81. SOC, 900 hazard
ed during the whole races in these
rooms alone. II TO this is added the
pools sold at dozens of different plsc-
es the amount rises to many millions.
1t is now q pernicious vice and bids
fair to do vast harm, unless tits dealt
with speedily and energe;ically BY the
law.
PIETRO.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

Never let the bowels be confined or unduy act
ei upon. Ii may appear singular that Holloway e
Pills should be recommended Tor a run upon the
bowels. many persons supfosiDg that they would
increase relaxation. This is n great mistake how
for these Pills will Immediately correct the
liver AMI stop every kind of bowel complaint In
warm climates thousands of lives have been saved
by the use of this medicine, which In all cases
gives tone and vigor to the whole organic system,
however deranged. health and strength following
as matter of course. The appetite, too. is won
derully increased by the use o; those Pills, com
hined in the use OF solid In preference 20 fluid diet
Animal food is better than broihs and stews. by
removing acrid, fermented. or other impure hu-
mors from the liver, stomach, or blood. the cause
of dysentery, diarrhea, and other bowel CON-
plants Is expelled. The result is, that the dis
iurbance Is arrested. and the action OF the bowel
becomes regular. Nothing will stop the relaxa-
ton Of the bowels So quickly this line correcting
medicine.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
For s,omachs ont OF order.

No medicine Will so effectually improve the tone
Of the stomach these Pills they remove all
acidity, occasbned either by intemperance or i'm
proper diet They reach the liver and reduce it 10
healthy action they are wonderfully esficacious
in Of spasm-in Tact they never tail in curing
all disorders ef the stomach.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

When a dog barks at night in Ja-
pan the owner is arrested and sen-
fenced 10 work year for the neigh
bors that were disturbed The dog
gets of eaiser, being killed.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

In all diseases affecting these organs, whether
they sserete too much or too little water: or
whether they be affected with stone or gravel, or
with aches and pains settled In the lons over the
regions of the kidneys, these Pills should be TAX
en- according 10 the printed directions, and the
Ointment should be well rubbed into the small of
the back at bedtime. This treatment win give al
most immediate relief when all other means have
failed.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

TEXAS has new game Of cards
one holds q revolver. while the other
holds the cards. A coroner holds the
inquest, Of course
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
Banks.
JOHNSTOWN SAVINGS BANK,
1870 CLINTON STREET,
JOHNSTOWN PA
JoHNsTowN. PA.

Chartered September II. 1870. Deposits receiy-
e. Of all sums not less than one dollur Present
rate Of interest six per cent. Interest IS due In
the months of June and December, and II not
Withdrawn is added to the deposit. thus compouu-
ding twice year without troubling the dcposi-
tor 10 call or even TO present the deposit book.
Money loaned on real estate. Preference, with
liberal rates and long lime given TO borrowers Of
fering nrst mortgages On farms worth tour or more
times the amount ci loan desired. Good refer
ence, perfect titles, kc., required.
This corporation Is exclusively Savings Bank.
No commercial deposits received, nor discounts
made No loans on personal security.
Blank applications for borrowers, copies Of the
rules, bylaws and special law relating to the
bank sent to any address requested.
TRUsTEEs.-James Cooper, David Dibert, q.
B. Ellis, A. ]. Hawes, +. ". Hay, John L0wman,
]. II. Lapsly Daniel Mclaughlin, ID. l. Morrell
Lewis Pitt, II. A. B0ggs, Conrad Suppes, Geo.
I. Swank, James McMillen, james Mo riley and
W. W. Walters
Daniel J. Morrell, President; Frank Dibert,
Treasurer; Cyrus Elder. Solicitor. noy2&-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
FOR ALL.

have for sale, ON terms within the reach OF ev
cry sober, industrious Individual, houses, lots,
lsrm, timber lands. mineral lands. building lots,
NC, In different parfs o. .ss ;Bunty in PARCELS &
rom one-iourth Of an acre up To l.0O9 acres. ii
ies warranted. Terlns-one nth In hand and tn
haianee In ten equal annual payments, properly
secured Non need apply who h not Of sobsr
and indnst riohsbiu. Gall soon, sorne Of the
properties viii be for reatif not sold soon.
ieoA ID .WEYAND.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
Sick Headaches and want of Appetite.

These feelings which sadden us, frequently
arise iron annoyances OF trouble, from obslructed
perspiration or from eating and drinking what Is
unnt for u.s. thus disordering the liver and stonl-
ach These organs must be regulated II you wish
TO be we'll. The Pills, If taken according TO the
printed instructions, will quickly restore healthy
action TO both liver and stomach. whence follow,
as u natural consequence, a good appetite and n
clear head In the East and West indies scarcely
any other medicine is ever used for these disor-
dar
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

What is more fearful than breaking down Of
the nervous stem To be excitable or nervous In
small degree Is most distressing, Tor where can
remedy be found There il one drink but little
wine beer, or spirits, or far better, none: take
no eofiee,-welk tea being preferable; get all the
fresh air you can; take three or four Pits every
night; eat plenty of solids, avoiding the use Of
slops and II these golden rules are followed, you
win be happy in mind and strong inbody, and for
get Won have anN nerves.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08

Persons who desire 20 sell, buy or exchange prop
.e.Sstet the description thereof, as no charge is
Etde phle-s sold or sented. Real estate business
generally viii be promptly attended 10.
augls
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
Mothers and D.ush shters.

= II there is one thing more than another for
which these Pills so famous II is there purify
ing properties especially their power of cleansing
the blood from all impurities, and removing dan
gerous and suspended secretions. Universally
adopted as the one grand remedy for female CON-
and always bring about what il required.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
A MARRIAGE CONTRACT

The matrimonial infelieities which
are costinually coming to the surface
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-11-08
THREE BACHELORS

The New York Democracy seems
to run to bachelors. Tilden, their
Governor, is . dried up weakened
old celibste. A H. Green, candidate
for Comptroller, has nevor loved, or il
be has, has lost the object of bis sfIec-
tions, and now they have nominated
for Mayor of the city, Smith Ely-a
who has reached bis fifty
second year without fading a lady
sufficiently attractive to beguile him
of his liberty. This latter gentleman,
whose nomination has gwen him
some prominence. is . well-to do
leather merchant in the city, 9 de-
scendant of the old Knickerbockers, Q
dApper. q pleasant little gentleman,
Who has served . term in Congress,
and in which bs hever made speech
or proposed . measure. bot simply
followed the programme laid down
by bis party leaders. Personally
41esst himself. be does not care very
nssksbout other peoples integrity,
and perhaps relisbes . good dinner
and pleasant society as much Is any
political distinction.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-27
Tie Candidates Contrasted.

In Lis speech at the Republican ratification
meeting in Chicago, Saturday night, Hon.
Shelby NJ Cullom said: II have the honor
my friends, OF having a personal acquaintance
with both Gen. Hayes, of Ohio, and Mr..
Wheeler, Of New York, and I say, without
found in all the length and breadth Of this
land two purer men now before the American
people. They are honest, they are modest,
they are unassuming, they are transformations,
they are OF the people, pure and simple, and
have no sympathes, no instinct, no motive.
no ambition, except to serve the great mass OF
the American people, in whatever positions
they may be placed. I speak whereof do
know when Isay there are mott repeat again
two purer men than the Republican Party
selected as its national Standard bearers at Gin
cinnati, at ourrecent National Convention
That is one thing in favor of those gentlemen
Well, / call your attention to another reason
why those gentlemen should be elected over
the other two gentlemen who have been selec-
ted by the other great party of this country.
[ undertake to say that the Democratic Party,
in selecting the two candidates that they did
select, could have scarcely found two men
who had less sympathy with each other IN
principle and i'll feeling upon the great ques-
tons before the country to-day than the two
men that they have selected for President
and Vice President of the United States
There is only one common bond existing be-
tween those two Democratic nominees, and
that bond is that both were anti-war men dur
ing the great struggle through which this coun-
try was passing during the late war for the
suppression Of the rebellion. Those two men
agreed in that plain proposition that they
were not in sympathy with the Republican
Party having control of the Government in
crushing out the rebellion, as it did during that
long struggle"