Litchfield enquirer., 1876-08-17
CLIPPINGS.

A place for refection-The mirror.
 Deception one cannot see through-A glass eye. ...
 It would be better for proof readers if all the Turkish generals were named Smith.
 There is great falling-of of little boys who try to ride on the behind end of @ street car.
 A Georgla man is suing another for one cents damage to his nose. Not much scents in that.
 A Philadelphia woman swore that her husband was enough to ''Irrigate an an- gel" .'....t... -..'. ...-,.....
 When may man be said to get start in business ?-When an unexpected bill is presented to him, for payment.
 s; solleauy by tippler-The public al-
 In Bath Abbey, England is to be seen the following
 ''Here lies Ann Mann,
 She lived an old maid and died an old Mann."
 If falsehood paralyzed the tongue, what death-like silence, would pervade socie- ty.
 An author says that one of the uses of diversity is to hring us out. That Is true, particularly at the knees and elbows.
 "Mamma, do you know what the largest species of ant is ? You shake your head. We'll I'll tell. Its an elephant"
 A thief in Evansville, Indiana, stole the contribution box out of church. He evidently went there to prey.
 Why may tipsy man fall into the river with impunity2 Because he won't drown as long as his head swims.
 ''I shall follow her soon," said sad eyed man at the grave of his wife. With in a month he was following another wo- man. It was rather personal in @ California l newspaper man to chronicle the purchase of a mule by brother editor as "a rec markable instance of self-possession."
 There is always one part:c llarly active and noisy fly these mornings that makes it his business to call fellow up for his breakfast-the fy's breakfast, we mean.
 Marie 1 what's that strange noise at the front gate?" 'Cats, sir.", "Catsl We'll, when was young cats didn't wear stove-pipe hats and smoke cigars. ''Times have changed sir. Men, says Adam Smith, are naturally unsentimental. A man will scoop the bottom out of an egg without thinking that the mother of that egg is. perhaps, hundred miles away, in the rain.
 A Kentucky sohoolmaster whose wife oR k.c had ko | ish her one day. The next day the school house door bore this inscriptions: ''School closed for one week schoOlmaster ill" A little boy was strewing salt upon tho pavement for the purpose of removing the ice, when lady exclaimed, Well I declare, this is true 1benevolence." No it ain't" said the boy. ''it is salt" A book agent was recently shot in Tex as. Whereupon the Worcester Press heartlessly and indignantly remarks that ''there is 0 universal demand all over the country for more book agents-in Texas.
 Sarah--"John, I can't dress up for din- ner this weather. What is the coolest | thing can get into?" John-''Sarah- toga r. and Sarah got into her toga.
 The only man in Vicennes, Ind, who doesn't own 2:40 horse is Q man who privately timed his trotter. The time was four minutes, and his horse passes all l others. .,.t,t
 A Norwich man calls himself on his card '.tempe.ance boot maker" The need of temperance boots is apparent, for though they're not generally drunk. it's Q notorious fact that they're often very tight. .......s.. y......-.. .s s.ts
 John Henry, reading to his wife from Q newspaper: "'There is not a single wo- ! man in the House of Correction There, l you see, don't you. what wicked creatures wives are? Every woman in that jail ia married" ''It is curious," said she; ''but don't you think, John. dear, that sOmO of them go there for relief" 4Ho At the closing of concers, while a young gentleman was struggling with his l hat, cane, overcoat, opera glass, and his young lady's fan. all of which he was try | ing to retain on his lap, snspicions- look ing black bottle fell on the floOr with a thud. ''There." he exclaimed to his com panion. II shall loose my cough medi- l cine. That was presence of mind for you.
 ''Gen'lmen" exclaimed an old Co., necticut salt, as he grasped the brawI arm of Yale College Oarsman and called the company'a attention to its .lnnscnlar development, "gen'l'man, thar's intelleck , for yer.