The Osceola times., 1876-03-18
FACTS AND FAxCIEs.

female breast.
REVOLUTIONARY relics are keeping
the manufacturers busy, 30 as to have
them in time for the centennial.
THE snobbish clcrgymen of the church
of England have determined TO drop the
title reverend" altogether, bccause
every other clerical cad is entitled to
Use it.
Dip you notice how splendidly I
went through that last reel ut the ball
last night, Tom?" "Ye~, and also no.
ticed that y kept it up all the way
homer
DoN'r YOU think" said husband in
a mid form of rebuke 10 his wife, that
women are possessed Of the devil"
"Yes," was the answer, " as soon as they
are married"
ENGAGING child: 90, Mr.. jenkins,
do let me sec yeu drink !" Mr.. jenkins
81 See me drink What for, my dear~
Engaging child: ooh, mamma says you
drink like fish,"
The saying that the good die young
seems to gain some additional strength in
the demise of Mrs. Rogue, Of Mexico,
who has just passed away in her one hun
dred and twentieth year.
The MEETING OF THE WATERS
saw shadow fading out
Where light saw light in greeting;
A veil consumed between two worlds
Where this and that were meeting.
Nv ear touched silence where the song
OF ocean ceased its moa ming;
Twas only where the sea beyond
Began its deep intoning.
Thus sings and paints for thee, 0 soul,
Life's sad, exultant story
The veil discloses, the music dies,
But after that the glory.
THE Suez canal has become 80 much
cause of jealousy between England and
France that Sir Daniel Lange has been
dropped from the direction Of the compa-
ny. This gives rise to much ill-feeling,
which is justified by English interests in
the work.
A pLAcARD with the words " Falss
alarm-no danger" was for years a regu-
lar part of the stage furniture Of the old
Chicago museum, and was once or twice
used with effect. 1t is suggested that
theaters aud public halls be provided
with them as a means of preventing
panics.
THE average Milwaukee reporter hav-
ing found the skull of an Aztec with a
glass eye, now finds in Lake Michigan a
sea serpent with fins striped like the
American flag. Two drinks more would
have put spectacles on that skull and
made the reporter see stars as well as
stripes.
MAMMA" said youthful youngster
the other day, chow old shall ] be next
birthday?' "Six, my son, II you live"
/" Well, suppose I don't live, can't 60
right on having birthdays like George
Washington There are some older
boys who like TO have their birthdays
''go right on"
AN enterprising Chinsman of Gold
Hill, Nevada, recently mounted the fol-
lowing sign, handsomely painted, on his
newly established wash house: All
Charlie; washing done dam cheap"
Virtuous public opinion soon obliged
him to take down the sign and put up ono
with less scripture in it.
A MAN popped into the postoffice and
wanted TO know how much merchandise
he could send in one parcel. -Four
pounds" was the reply. Then he said
he thought he would send out to Arizona
four pounds of those red toy balloons,
inflated; but he had difficulty in getting
out of the door in time to dodge mail
bag.
"MAIsrER," said an old Scotch SER
want, "is il guide manners when the gen.
tleman gies n glass o. whisky, To- take
drap or drink off the hail o'tY" The
master having, in homely Scotch phrase,
iudiciously replied to this poser that the
courtesy consisted in imbibing the
whole. the man exclaimed, with sigh
of relief: "Then GUIDE be thankit, was
mannerly"
The unerring exactness with which
the sperm whale will pursue his way
across the ocean for whole day without
doviating from his course a single point
Of the compass, M whalemen have often
remarked them TO do, is truly astonish-
ing. The manner in which their reason
or instinct guides them on such an unva-
rying course must needs be matter OF
conjecture.
on the Sth of October, 1875. John
Adams wrote TO his wife, from Philadel-
phia: "Thc spirit of venality you men-
ton is the most dreadful and alarming
enemy America has to oppose. IL IL n
rapacious and Unsuitable as tine grave.
This predominant avarice will ruin Amer
lea, ii she is ever ruined. II God Al
mighty does not interfere by his grace
to control this universal idolatry to the
mammoth of unrighteousness, we shall
he given up to the chastiscment of his
judgments. I am ashamed Of the age !
live in"
CHIEF Justice RYAN. of Wisconsin,
would rather see a woman supporting
her husband and children by honest Ia
Dor at the wash-tub than saving the air
in a courtroom. Says the great chief
Justice Mature has tempered woman
as little for the judicial conflicts Of the
courtroom as for the physical conflicts
of the battlefield. Womanhood is mod
eled for gcntler and better things. And
| it is not the saints of the world who
| chiefly give employment to our profess
sion. 1t has essentially and habitually
to do with all that is selfish and extor-
tonate, knavish and criminal, coarse and
brutal, repulsive and obsce e in human
life."
AN honest farmer once led his two tur-
keys into his granary and told them to
eat, drink, and be merry. One Of these
turkeys WAS wise, the other foolish. The
foolish bird at once indulged excessively