The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-07-06

gim me de lubbenest kind oh kis
an -an'-an' de biler would bust?
"Oh, de debbil -: said the disappoin
ed Midas.
"Now, Midas, Use 'sposen dis cas-
an L wants you to mind de word
what Pm speakin'. 'Sposen when ds
biler busted we bof went up in de all
when we arriv in de water we fouL
de only ting lef ob dat boat was on
piece oh board, wasn't big enough t
hold us bof, but we bof grab it i; nov
Midas, would you let go dat board, o
would you put me off an took it al
y'self? Dat's de question what Is
'sposen.u
"Luce, kin you swim ?" he aske,
after hesitating few moments.
mo, Midas, OBJ course not. Yol
know / can't SWIM"
well, den, Luce, my conshenshu
'pinion OBJ de whole matter am, da
we won't go on no 'scursions"
MARK TwAIN's REPORT OF AN AC
C1DENT.
Mark Twain recently tried his hant
at writing up distressing accident fo
Boston local paper, and this is how
he did it: Last evening about
o'clock, as William Schuyler, an ole
and respected citizen of Hyde Park
was leaving his residence to go down
town, as has been his custom for many
years. with the exception of only on,
short interval in the Spring of 1850
during which he was confined to hi.
bed by injuries received in attempting
to stop runaway horse by thoughtful
ly throwing up his hands and shouting
which, even if he had done SO a mo
ment sooner, would inevitably have
frightened the animal still more in
stead of checking its speed, although
disastrous enough to himself as it was
rendered more melancholily distress
ing by reason of the presence of his
wife's mother, who was there and saw
the occurrence, notwithstanding it is
at least likely, though not necessarily
so, that she should be recOnnOiterinp
in another direction when incidents
occur, not being vivaciOus and on the
lookout, rs a general thing, but even
in the reverse, as her mother is said to
have stated, who is no more, but who
died in the full hope of a blessed res
direction upward of three years ago,
aged S6. being Christian woman
without guile, as it were, in property,
in consequence of fire in 1919, which
destroyed every solitary thing she had
in the world. But such is life. Let
us all take warning by this solemn oc-
currence, and let us endeavor so to live
that when we come to die we can do
it. Let us place our hands upon our
hearts and say with earnestly and sim
cerity that, from this day forth, we'll
beware of the Intoxicating bowl"
THE MOON A DEAD WORLD.
Among the illusions swept away by
modern science was the pleasant fancy
that the moon was a habitable globe,
like the earth, its surface diversified
with seas, lakes, continents and islands
and varied forms of vegetation. The
ologians and savants gravely discussed
the probabilities of its being inhabited
by a race of sentient beings, with
forms and faculties like our own, and
even propounded schemes for opening
with them, in case
they existed. One Of these was to con-
'truct on the broad highlands of Asia
! series of geometrical figures on
scale SO gigantic as to be visible from
our planetary neighbor, on the suppo-
'ition that the moon people would rec
,gnize the object, and Immediately
construct similar figures in reply, ex-
,ravagant and absurd as it may appear
put the discussion was kept up at in
until it was discovered that if
here were people in the moon they
must be able to live without breathing
,r eating or drinking. Then it ceased.
There can be no life without air.
Beautiful to the eye of distant OBJ
'erver, the moon is sepulchral orb
, world of death and silence. No veg
etation clothes it's vast plains or stony
traversed by. monstrous
,revices, broken by enormous peaks
hat rise like gigantic tombstones into
pace, no lovely forms of clouds float
n the blackness of its sky. The day
ime is only night lighted by rayless
'un. There is no rosy dawn in the
no twilight in the evening.
The nights are pitch dark. In daytime
he solar beams are lost against the
agged ridges, the sharp points of the
'ocks, of the steep sides of profound
Ulysses, and the eye sees only grotesque
'hapes relieved against fantastic shad-
,ws black as ink, with none of that
pleasant graduation and diffusion of
light, none of the subtle blending of
light and shadow, which makes the
charm ola terrestrial landscape. There
) no color, nothing but dead white
md black. The rocks reflect passively
he light of the sun; the craters and
Ulysses remain wrapped in the shade,
peaks rise like phantoms in
heir glacial cemetery the stars APP
,ear like spots in the blackuess of space.
The moon is dead world she has no
OF SILVER IN THE
WHOLE WORLD.
According to recent statistics, the