Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1876-08-03
DIAM 0 ND SPRAY.
Next to a diary the most difficult thing
TO keep is a lead pencil.

serve us Il ocdCoH vi warning 10 tie youth OF
our land, says the ladies' dresses this year
are laboring under a violent attack of delir-
1um trimmings.
The %favorite flower for wedding bonnets
-Mmy-gold.
-IIogg was a good writer; but he can't
be considered aside of Bacon.
Sarcastic Slash-Young swell: az
should like to have my mustache dyed"
Polite barber: "Certainly. Did you bring
it with you"'
-Boarder-"H Has the red-haired girl gone
away Landlady Yes, sir" Boarder:
IL thought so. l found a black hair in the
butter to-day"
There is something wonderfully grand
and impressive about the roar Of thunder,
until you discover it has soured the last half
pint of milk in the house.
"A Camden man logged a butcher-knife
Q around for two hours, offering to kill any
one who said he wasn't Moses, of Biblical
fame. Every ONE said he looked just like
Moses.
A sensible writer advises those Who
would enjoy good eating to keep good-na-
tured, for, says he, :" an angry man cannot
tell whether he is eating boiled cabbage Or
stewed umbrellas"
A shirt dealer advertises a bosom war
ranted to wear longer than the shirt. But
who wants a bosom longer than his shirt?
"A great many OF our exchanges indulge
in cutting satire; that is, they cut it from
other papers and pass it off for their own.
I'm a French translation of Shakespeare,
the passage. $ Frailty, thy name is woman,''
is translated, "Mademoiselle Frailty is the
name of the lady,"
Rural hospitality in Spain is highly spo-
ken of. A stranger can't take lodgings at
any country inn, they say, without a GER
tainty Of being Immediately waited upon by
any number of big bugs.
"A citizen of Dakot took a turkish bath
ia Omaha a few days ago, and died within
an hour. The verdict of the jury was:
lie hadn't ought to have got SO much Of
the mud oft of him at one time.
A young lady viewing Dom Pedro in
st. Louis, the other day, remarked, as she
liked her eyes on the carriage, sit isn't ex-
actly Immortality to see an emperor, Of
course, but its a glimpse, at least, OF King
Dom come"
-"You must cultivate decision of charac-
ter, and learn to say NO." said a father to
to his son. Soon afterward, when the IA
Their told the son to chop wood, the boy said
mo" with an emphasis that showed a re-
membrance of the lesson.
"A lady in Bedford, who lived near a
church, was sitting by the window listening
to the crickets which were loudly chirping,
the music from the choir rehearsal being
family audible, when a gentleman dropped
in familiarly, who had just passed the church
and had the music full in his mind. What
noise they are making tonight" said he.
=" Yes" said the LADY, and it is said they
do it with it their hind legs !"
A gentleman afflicted with ar impede
ment in his speech took dinner at a tavern,
and calling to a waiter addressed him thus:
'W~e-w-walter, gi-give me me s-s-some r-r-
roast b-b-beef." The waiter stammered out
IN reply: 8 W-w-We a-a-aint g-g-ggot any"
AT which the gentleman, highly enraged,
supposing the servant was hooking him,
sprang from his seat and was proceeding to
knock him down, when a third person az
rested his arm and cried to him not to strike.
saying: "He st-st-stutters SESAME as w
we d-d-do!n