The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-21
FRESH GLEANINGs OF FUN.

man can 60 to the grocery and order two
gallons of kerosene oil without bringing
upon himself the terrible suspicion OF
having robbed bank,
An indianapolis debating society has
| decided that the execution of Charles
| the First was unjustihable. The pros
poets of the Stuart family are beginning
| TO look up Louisville Courier journal.
Now that the smoke OF battle has
cleared away, the men Of the Republic
can find time to look up the wood
sawyer, and save themselves tri-daily
skirmish about the Kitchen stove and its
necessities.
| This town is full Of men who are wear
ing the most vilIainously seedy hats, be-
cause they are not exactly prepared
| TO ask for the hats they hope they have
| won on the "general result" and they
don't want TO buy any more than they
have to.
What the men Of the American repub-
| lie want is hall door that will not get
| excited over politics and go bobbing
around and jumping up and down and
shut up its keynote whenever man
comes home after staying out to hear
| the returns come in.
A Georgia colored debating society
was lately discussing (which is tue best
| for the laboring man, to work for wages
or part OF the cropW An old "uncle"
spoke the sense OF the meeting when he
thought "boie was the best, il dey could
only be brung togedder somehow"
The experience of business man: 81
always prefer dealing with rascal to
dealing with an honest man. With the
former you know what to expect, but
you never eau tell what the latter may
be up to-"
1t is touching comment upon the hol-
lowness of human declarations, to see
the man who is groaning because he sees
the country gong to the bow-woWs on
account of the dishonor and corruption
of its political leaders, innocently stand
on the scales while he weighs a load Of
coal for customer.
A jealous Baltimore husband, P. j..
Tracy, swallowed morphine after writ
ing 10 his wife: alt is for you that l
have done this, and when am dead you
can do what you like about marrying
Schlutter." But he was badly fooled,
for Schlutter heard of it and came to the
house and smiled sardonically while he
helped the doctor pump the dlsap-
pointed morphine eater out.
.. A man rushed into Main-street res
taurant, the other day, in an awful
hurry, and, Hopping into chair, called
for "calfs head soup" "Calf said what,
sir" inquired the waiter. "CalPs head
soupw roared the impatient guest. Ad-
monished by the Wrathful tone, the
waiter moved away, but paused to in
quire, as kind OF appendix, "You
didn't hear him say what kind of soup,
sirW
A moderate Deputy at home among
his constituents:
swell, honored sir, what do you think
of our country wlnesW
"Reds! Reds! Nothing but Reds! 1
should much have preferred wine of
the Left CentreW
A truly economical man on coming out
Of barber's shop rebukes his prodigal
companion for tipping the attendant.
"My dear fellow" he says, it is better
|, infinitely better-to give New Years
, present than succession of tips. 1t
looks much bigger and costs much less !;
besides, look you, we must all die some
day or other; well, when the time comes
you are three months or six months
ahead-perhaps if you are lucky enough
you may die on the last day of the year,
and then see what you have saVedW
x. is passionateIy addicted to the
gambling-t table. His whole soul runs on
cards, and his conversation is Of them.
The other evening as he was coming
out Of the clubhouse he encountered a
5 friend clad in deep mourning who told
him that within two months he had lost
his only father, his only mother, his only
sister-I know not what.
"Poor fellow! poor felIowr' says x,
with tears in his eyes; "all gone! What
a devil off runw
An officer was relating his Algerian
IeXperience in the presence of a humane
gentleman, who is the leading spirit OF
the S. Z. q. A,
"We were in the midst of the bound
less DESERT" he said. "The tropical
sun glared on our heads; around US
were the glowing sands; the exhausted
pack-horses, their sides heaVing and
their tongues lolling out, staggered
along painfully, while the Arab guide
Ipricked them forward with his saber
till the blood gushed from their fianks. -
"Horrible! horriblep said The member
of the S. 2. G. A, rising Indignantly
and pacing up and down the room, 81
wish had been there. You can bet Pd
run him into a police station pretty
liVely-tha's ALL"
"Driver, to the Boulevard Clichyp
"Yes, sir. (Whips up his horse, that
trots rapidly up the Rue des Martyrs y:
but suddenly reins him in and compels
him to walk).
"Why don't you let him have his
lheadW
SIT would tire him to ascend the hill
at such gait"
but he took it of his own accord"
"Because he thought he was going to
the sta6les-that is MS way home"
"Well, humor him in his hallucina-
ton; that's all the better for me-"
"Sir, L could never consent to be a
party 10 practicing SO cruel decep ption
upon my faithful steed. Whoa, there.
JanuaryW
He had just welded a little angel
with a musical voice, limpid blue eyes
and brow on which candor had set it's
seal.
They made their bridal tour to Venice,
where they went from palace to palace,
watched the pigeons wheeling around
the towers of st. Marks, explored the
mysterious canals in their gondola. AS
they are returning homeward at night
the young husband, whose full heart is
| oVertioWing with emotion, says:
''Well, my love, what has impressed
you most OF all that we have seen in this
wonderful city~