Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-12-20

more nonsense.
(Solemnly) "That I shall never do
again. Husbands must be taught not
to trife with their wives affections in
this cruel way" (Tenderly) ooh,
Jonathan, how could you abandon me :
/ am not old; [ am not ugly"
"D--n it all, if you have been
playing any games !''-and he felt at the
back of his neck for a bowie knife
Californian instincts
"Sir - said the lady in an awful
tone, that subjugated the monster di,
rectly. .s
"Well. then," said he sullenly,
"don't talk nonsense. Please remem-
Der we are man aud wife"
Mrs. Clarke (very gravey). "Jona
than, we are not !"
ILLUMINATION what do you mean p
"lf you ere going into a passion, [
won't tell you anything; I hate to be
frightened. What language the man
has picked up-in California -
"Well, that's neither here nor there.
You go on"
well, Jonathan, you know I have
always been under the influence of my
parents. It was at their wish l married
you"
"That is not what you told me at the
time"
ooh, yes, did only you have for,
gotten. We'll, when no word came from
you for so many months, my parents
were indignant, and they worked upon
me 50 and pestered me so-that-John-
athan, we are divorced"
The actress thought this was good
point to cry at, and cried accordingly.
Jonathan started at the announcer ent
swore heartful, and then walked the
room in rage and bitterness. $50,
then" said he. "you leave the woman
you love, and the children whose smiles
are your heaven; you lead the life of a
dog for them, and when you come back,
by God, the wife Of your bosom has
divorced you, just because letter or
two miscarried! That outweighs all
you have done and suffered for her.
Oh you are crying, are you? What
you have given up facing it out, and
laying the blame on me, have your"
Yes, dear; [ find you were not to
blame; it was-my parents"
"Your parents! Why, you are not a
child, are you! You are the parent of
my children, you little idiot; have you
forgotten that?"
"No. Oh ! oh oh !! I have acted
hastily, and very, very wrong"
"Come, that is a good deal for a
pretty woman to own. There, dry your
eyes, and let us order dinner"
"What, dine with yOu?"
"Why, On it, it is not the first time
by few thousand"
La Jonathan, I should like; but I
mustn't"
"Why not 2"
CT should be compromised.
"What, with me- %
Eyes; with any gentleman. Do try
and realize the situation, dear. I am
a single aOonaaaa."
Good Mr.. Clarke-from California
delivered string Of curses SO rapidly
that they all ran into what Sir Water
calls "clishmaclaver," even as when
the ringers clash and jangle the church
bells.
Mrs. Clarke gave him time; but as
soon as he was in state to listen quiet
ly, compelled him to realize her situa-
ton. "You see,' said she, 81 am
obliged TO be very particular now.
poor Ephraim Slade?
"Your old sweetheart. Confound
him has he been after you again?"
"Why, Jonathan, ask yourself. He
has remained unmarried ever since;
and when he heard was free, of course
he entertained hopes; but I kept him
at distance; and SO (tenderly and re-
gretfully) must you. I am a single
aUOna07a.'
"Look me in the face, Sophia You
won't dine with me?''
"Pd give the world; but I mustn't
DEAR"
stNot if twist your neck round
darling If you don't?"
"No, dear. You shall kill me, if you
please. But 1 am respectable woman,
and 1 will not brave the world. I know
I have acted rashly, foolishly, and
deserve to be killed. Kill me, dear
you'll forgive me them With that,
she knelt down at his feet, crossed her
hands over his knees, and looked up
sweetly in his face with trimming eyes,
waiting, aye, even requesting, to be
killed.. a# .ce saa s'sst%t p.
He looked at her with glisten ng
eyes. "You cunning hussy!'' said he;
"You know woulk not hurt hair Of
your head! What is to be done? ]
tell you what it is, Sophia, I have lived
three years without a wife, and. that is
enough. I won't live any longer so
no, not day. Itshall be you, or some
body else. All, what is that "a bell.
I'll ring and order one. 2 I've got lots
of money. They are always to be had
for that. you know" o g as..@a 2
"Oh, Jonathan! don't talk SO. It is
scandalous. How can you get wife
all in minute-by ringing %
IF can't, then the town-crier can.
I'll hire him. % @
g For shame p --
"How is it to be, then? You that
are SO smart in dividing couples, you
don't seem to be very clever in bringing
'.em together again. - aas Is ssagos- = ],
d" 1t was my parents, Jonathan, not
me. Well, dear, always think when
people are in difficulty, the best is to