Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-06-01
ITEMS OF INTEREST,

tail.
MAN does not want to be an angel until
he has failed at everything else.
Mrs. PARTINGToN has never yet sued a
man for reformation Of character.-Ne
Orleans Republican.
A SET of false teeth is exhibited at the
Centennial as evidence that George Wash
ingtOn could ACT a lie though he could not
tell one.
LACE is what ruff1es the men NOWADAYS
En- You are wrong. Lace ruff1es the
women, as usual. 1t is the paying for it
that rutties the men.-Norr5st0aom Herald
81 LIKE your impudence," said a pref
ty girl, when her sweetheart tried to kiss
her. " None O. your cheek" quoth he,
as he fought his way to the mouth of the
crater.
You may never have thought of it, but
it is utterly impossible to get downright
angry without raising your voice. Con-
troll your voice and you are sure to control
your temper.
THE Straits of Mackinaw opened on a
Thursday this year by the breaking up
OF the ice, and on Friday the news reached
| Chicago, but not vessel would leave
port until Saturday.
BLoBB's lady friend recently told him
that she liked Shakespeare very much and
| that she 9 read it when it first came cut"
| Then she proceeded to scan Godey's
| magazine to see what the spring styles
| were.
Mrs. EVANS, of Whitefeld, Me-, was
born three days after the Declaration of
Independence, has cut and made her own
dresses for eighty-five years, and is now
living with the sixth generation of her de-
scendants
CARPENTERS might prevent vast
amount of profanity in this world if they
would only set the door knobs far enough
from the casing to allow person with an
ordinary seized fist to shut the door With
| out SHINING his knuckles.
NORMALLY through inadvertence, but
really it is thought with view to stimu-
| latlng immigration, the Legislators of
| Washington Territory have so amended
the Civil Practice act that property cannot
| legally be taken in execution.
THE last thing out is a Centennial hand
kerchiet 1t has the declaration of indie
| pendence printed on it III English, French
and German, so that every patriot can
| blow his nose on that celebrated instru.
ment in three different languages.
AN interesting telegraph suit is before
the courts at Providence. A citizen of
Norwich, Ct, whose son died, telegraphed
! for Providence artist to come and see
the lad in order to paint his portrait. The
dispatch was showed under the door of
another gentleman's residence, and he
being absent from town the artist did not
receive it until after the child was buried
He thereby sues the telegraph company
| Ghe Franklin) for 800 damages for fail
ing to deliver the dispatch.
THE Washington Chronicle says: Z" 1t
is suggested that all newspapers keep the
population of the city or town where pub
lished standing permanently under the
name of the paper, or under the head on
the editorial page, so that when any paper
is seen the size of the place where pub
| lished will be known. 1t will be Of great
public utility, and of great service to edit
ors. 1t will be seen that we have opened
the ball" 1t has, at the head of its edi-
| tOrial columns, this informatiOn "POpu-
lation of Washington, $50, 600"
A FARMER at COhoes, n. Y, dreamed
that he was feeding his COWS the other
night and that sudd emily one Of them
reached over and whispered in his ear, g
am going to Set fire to this she'd" He
says that he looked at the cow in astonish-
ment, but she kept on repeating the same
words over and over again until he awoke,
and his dream was so wildly before his
minds eye that he went out to the barn
to see the cow that told him she would
set the barn on fire. He went cautiously
into the stall of the would be incendiary,
and, strange to relate, he discovered a
| blaze of light in the manger. He still
thought he was dreaming and pinched
| himself, but it was useless he was wide
awake and there was fire. He rushed for
pail of water that stood by the door and
soon had the fire out. That beats Mrs.
O'Leary's cow clear out of time.
We have been shown letter, addressed
from London to lady at Suffer Creek,
which has taken twenty-three years to
reach its destination. The disposal of
about $4,000 worth of property in
England was announced in it, and
hence the authorities have put them
| selves to more than ordinary trouble to
see that it fell into the hands of the
party to whom it is addressed 1t bears
the date of April, 1858, and has circum-
navigated the globe twice. 1t has sought
its owner in Sydney, Australia, on two
| different occasions, and, failing in its
mission to the Southern Cross, it fell into
the London Dead-Lett office, where it
remained for five years. At last it was
forwarded to Suffer Creek, and was per-
used by the rightful party nearly quar-
ter of a century after it was penned. In
the protracted interval that elapsed be-
tween its penning and delivery, the estate