, 1876-03-12

Related by a Young Man On Mad-
isou-Street Car.
Also the Reason Why He Told tbs
Aforesaid Story.

! Aforesaid Story.
Time, about 7:s0 Wednesday evening; place.
Madison street car; heroes Of story, benevolent
old gentleman of some 80 summers, aud Young
man Of %, with q k,nd Of Detroit FIRE. Press
smile upon his face.
! Suddenly he OF 2S turns TO him Of 50, and
says: "stranger, you do not look like man
Who wonld keep fellow in suspense. Will you
answer mo few questions 7"
| "CeFtainly, young man, am ct your Disposal;
have lived in Chicago nigh onto twonsy years,
and 1atsar myself 1 am well posted. Anything
about the Whisky Ring, OF Common Council, sir?"
"oh no. no! My mind at present il
not Of tho earth earthly; I soar aboyo
| such triaes- What I want to know is
about Moses. Re!iove mo, oh 1olievo mo;
foF weeks have I suffered upon this subject
have walked in my sleep, licked my mother-in-
law. and bean to praycr-meeting, aud still got no
| information upon this matter, and cannot get
myself up to tho pitch to believe that story OF
the children Of Israel being chased by Pharaoh,
| and being forty years ia the wilderness. Now
what On earth were they doing there? Why,
| Sheridan could have got around Canaan, and
burnt all the saT-milla and hay-stacks, and baea
| back to the front in seven days"
*'Farea, pfeaao!
"Uerc punch this ticket tTice I can afford to
| SO one faro On man that ia going to tell me al
| about Noses Now, when Pharaoh paroted those
faraeltes, what VAS the use of his taking them
prisoners again? Now, 7 don't think that
battle was rightly planned. Now, you see, Moses
! only mustered about 10000 men. with Gsd's
cavalry On tho left wing, and Judah'5 heavy ar
tl[lery in tho ceut1o, protecting Dams infantry
| on tho right, and Zebilo1n back in reserve With
| tho Forty-eightn Jerusalem Home 6uards--"
'Bur my deaz friend, in those days thero
| were no Home Guards."
"Don't interrupt nc, cir! Now, don't you
SEQ that Pharaoh could have sent his chief butler
/ with tue NinatY-seventh Egyptian Infantry, and
| tho Hftieth Babylonian Fire Iouaves, and tho
| Twenty-tirst Damascus Light Cavalry around on
| the left OF Cad, and lanked him while ho en-
gagged Moses in the centre and right with tha
| Eighteenth, TEent1-third, Aaa Tweuty-ninth
| Gomorrah Artilloty-"
"1nt in those days there was no soch thing
as artillery"
"Shall I tell this story, or you, air7 To pro-
coed Sow, you SEQ that Was lust#het Nose mis-
trusted, aud no called his chef OF at<fr. Aaron,
| and his nds-de-camn, and held council Of
war, and decided that Il they could draw pharaCh
| gunboats, under the command OF Admiral Abed-
pego; go they decided TO retreat and throw un
| earthworks. Pharaoh, uiatrusting something.
| telegraphad back to Dalaam, Secretary OF Har,
Tor FetD1ofcenenIa SEND no tEo plc4e0 Seg1-:
| monta, the 6eventy-first Assyrian Monnted
| Jackasses and the Seventh Ethiopian Flying
| Cana1s-I am bound to catch Moses ii it takas.
mo al SIMMER. Send by Adams E1p-oss II you
have any on baud, some sour maah and
sePs sa1e'a eeos as donn ss"' xa q bs ss
hoof~rot, and the above is q sure cure 1rocom-
mend for promotion First Corporal Jimmie
Balal. who, in the heat OF tho engagement,
charged On the enemy'a supply-traiu. guarded
}fr1%f taHE
dor the command Of Lieut. Col. Hank Asher,
and brought safoly into camp three boxes OF
sardines and ono peach-crata OF Railways Ready
Relief Ny base Of supplies at present is at tho
rnalires were on the marrh they uscd always to
be singing, 'Wo'u hang old Pharaoh on
SOFT appio tree. as We 80 whooping ou.' and It
WAS at the commencing OF this battle that Phar-
aoh made tnat tsnous address to hs tsoopa
shink these aro about the words Fight,
old wheat-gleapers! Fight, gallant vino
yard-koepersl Draw your zamrodA to
the head: Kick your Old mus
tangB hard and ride il the mud, and scare them
brickmako1s With your jackaas hrays- l think
there be soma nine or seven Moseses in the field
-elevon have slain to-day: When Noses gof to
tho Red Sen be was afraid that Pharaoh Would
spring u1ine under him, 90 he called hla secse-
tary OF the Navy.-Gideon and. instead Cd: :
making the sea as dry land. had him pontoou
it, and lot tue First and Second Corps pass over.
while he held Pharaoh IN check win the fourh
Beorsheba Artillery HaEe he lost hls ek11nisn
line. and When they'd all got oVer, ha sent pacR
his Engineer Corps and had them sink torpedoes
under the pontoons, and when Pharaoh cano
caVoEting over, them torpedoos blew him higher
than kite That's what became Of Pharaohl
Now, when Mo4ea struck that rock for oil, Lo did
not find any. Why7 Eighteen months before,
there Ind been lot OF Philistiues down there
prospecting and taking up claims, and, finding
they were sold, they heard that Moses Was COM
ing. and they saturated the rock with kerosene,
and thought they could sell ont to him"
''But there Was no such things aa Kerosene"
''You still want to interrupt me- Now about
that milk and honey affair. Why. in those days
it was settled fact that bees did not swarro
west Of tho Jordan; and 1ni1k.-why, milk waa
ecarce TINT summer, fox tho Kansas gEasshop-
pers had been there, sud cows had dried up,
and milk -pedlers sold milk at cents por pint.
aad had neaziy dried mp ths Jordan Watering
their milk
''But there we1e no such things - mlk-ped-
dlcrs." D.
."Aro you telling this etory7 To proceed
About them two young rxacals. Csish and
Joshua, going down there into Canaan to steal
watermelons,- the Canys knew they wcIa
coming and bad steel traps set for them. and
two old Csuaauites LAY behind stone vail for