The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-01-29

A blue trip slip for an eght-cent fare,
A buff trip slip for six-cent fare,
pink trip slip for three-cent fare:
Punch in the presence Of the passenjare!
CHORUS.
Punch, brothersi punch with carei
Punch in the presence of the passenJare"
came across these jingling rhymes in a
newspaper, little while ago, and read them
couple OF times. They TOOK instant and en-
tire possession of me. All through breakfast
they went waltzing through my brain; and
when, at last, rolled up my napkin, could
not tell whether had eaten anything or not.
had carefully laid out my days work the
day before-a thrilling tragedy in the novel
which am writing. went to my den to be-
gin my deed of blood. l took up my pen,
but all ! could get it to say was, "Punch in
the presence of the passenjare." l fought
hard for an hour, but it was useless. My
head kept humming, ga blue trip slip for an
eight-cent fare, buff trip slip for a six-cent
fare" and SO on and SO on, without peace
or respite. The days work was ruined-I
could see that plainly enough. gave up and
drifted down town, and presently discovered
that my feet were keeping time to that relent-
less jingle. When could stand it no longer
altered my step. But 1t did no good; those
rhymes accommodated themselves to the new
step and went on harassing me just as be-
fore. l returned home, and suffered all
an unconscious and undressing dinner; suf-
fered, and cried, and jingled all through the
evening; went to bed and rolled, tossed, and
jingled right along, the same as ever; got up
at midnight frantic, and tried to read; but
there was nothing visible upon the whirling
page except Punch punch in the presence
of the passenjare." BY sunrise was out Of
distressed at the idiotic burden of my rawlings,
Punch il the presence of the passenjare."
Two days later, on Saturday morning,
arose, a tottering wreck, and went forth to
fulfil an engagement with a valued friend,
Rev. Mr.. -, to walk to the Talcott Tower,
ten miles distant. He stared at me but
asked no questions. We started. Mr.. -
talked, talked, talked-as is his won't. said
nothing; I heard nothing At the end of
mile, Mr.. - said
Mark, are you sick? never saw a man
look SO haggard and worn and absent-minded.
Say something; doP'
Drearily without enthusiasm, l said,
"Puneh, brothers, punch with care! Punch
in the presence of the passenjarep'
My friend eyed me blankly, looked per-
picked, then said
81 do not think get your drift, Mark.
There does not seem to be any relevancy in
what you have said, certainly nothing sad |;
and yet-may be it was the way you said the
words-I never heard anything that sounded
so pathetic. What is''-
But heard no more. I was already far
away with my pitiless, heart-breaking "bue
trip slip for an eight-cent fare, buff "trip slip
for six-cent fare, pink trip slip for a three
cent fare; punch in the presence of the pas
seDjare." / do not know what occurred dur
ing the other nine miles. However, all of a
sudden Mr.. laid his hand on my Shout
der and shouted
ooh, wake upl wake up! wake up! Don't
sleep all day! Here we are at the Tower,
man!I have talked myself deaf and dumb
and blind, and never got a response. just
look at this magnificent autumn landscape!
Look at it'll look at 1t! Feast your eyes on it !!
You have travelled; you have seen boosted
landscapes elsewhere. Come, now, deliver
an honest opinion. What do you say to
this?"
ga buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, a
pink trip slip for three-cent fare, punch in
the presence of the passenjare."
Rev. Mr.. - stood there, very grave, full
OF concern, apparently, and looked long at
me; then he said
shark; there is something about this that
I cannot understand. Those are about the
same words you said before; there does not
seem to be anything in them, and yet they
nearly break my heart when you say them.
Punch in the-how is it they 60 ?"
began at the beginning and repeated all
the lines. My friends face lighted with in
terest. He said
"Why what captivating jingle it is! 1t is
almost music. 1t flows along so nicely. I
have nearly caught the rhymes myself Say
them over just once more, and then I'll have
them, sure"
/ said them over. Then Mr.--said them.
He made one little mistake, which l cor
rected. The next time and the next he got
them riObt- NOw q 0rpaf hJ1rdap caprnpd IN
tumble from my shoulders. That torturing
jingle departed out of my brain, and CRATE
full sense of rest and peace descended upon
me. / was light-hearted enough to sing;
and / did sing for half an hour, straight
along, as we went jogging homeward. Then
my freed tongue found blessed speech again,
and the pent talk of many weary hour be-
gan 20 gush and flow. 1t flowed on and on
joyously, jubilantly, until the fountain was
empty and dry. As 1 wrung my friends
hand at parting, said,
Haven we had royal good time! But,
now l remember, you haven't said a word
for two hours. Come, come, out with some
thingp'
Rev. Mi turned lack-lustre eye up
on me, drew deep sigh, and said without
animation, without apparent consciousness,
"Punch, brothers. punch with care! Punch
in the presence of the passeDjarer'
A pane shot through me as said to my
self, Poor fellow, poor fellow! he has got it
now.'
did not see Mr.. - for two or three
days after that. Then, on Tuesday evening,
he staggered into my presence and sank de-
jectedy into seat. He was pale, worn; he
was wreck. He lifted his faded eyes to my
face, and said,
sab, Mark, it was a ruinous investment
that made in those heartless rhymes. They
have Erd0QD Ike niOhfyporo dou
night, hour after hour, to this very moment.
Since saw you have suffered che torments
of the lost. Saturday evening I had a sud-
den call, by telegraph, and took the night
train for Boston. The occasion was the death
of valued old friend, who had requested
that should preach his funeral sermon. 1
took my seat in the cars, and set myself to
framing the discourse. But never got be-
yond the opening paragraph; for then the
train started and the car wheels began their
'clack-clack, clack-clack. clack-clack, clack-
clack!' and right away those odious rhymes
fitted themselves to that accompaniment. For
an hour sat there and set syllable of those
rhymes to every separate and distinct cack
the car wheels made. Why, was as tagged
out then as if l had been chopping wood all
day. My skull was splitting with headache.
1t seemed to me that must go mad if sat
there any longer; so I undressed and went
TO bed. / stretched myself out in my berth,
and-well, you know what the result was.
The thing went right along just the same,
sClacS-clack, clack, blue trip slip, clack,
clack-clack, for an eight-cent fare; clack,
clack-clack, buff trip slip, clack-clack, clack,
for six cent fare, and so on, and so on, and
so on-punch, in the presence of the passen-
jareP' Sleep? Not a single winki was al
most lunatic when l got to Boston.
Don't ask me about the funeral. did the
best could, but every solemn individual SEN
tence was meshed and tangled and woven in
and out with punch, brothers, punch with
care, punch in the presence of the passen-
jare.' And the most distressing thing was
that my delirery dropped into the und0lating
rhythm of those pulsing rhymes, and could
actually catch absent minded people noddng
time to the swing of it with their stupid heads.
And, Mark, you may believe it or not, but
before got through the entire assemblage
were placidly bobbing their heads IN solemn
unison, monrners, undertaken and all. The
moment had finished I fed to the anteroom
in state bordering on frenzy. OF course it
would be my luck to find a sorrow
ing and aged maiden, aunt of the deceased
there, who had arrived from Springfield too
late to get into the church. She began to
sob and said
"'Oh, oh, heyis gone, and l didn't see him