, 1876-11-26

~, 1CaC A1I1A IA114e L IN
, kitchen storc, shielding bis blisteriny face vii
one hand, and with the other muking frant
, | dabs with steel fork at blazing sausage
!, that's all.
ness, read in his fushion exchange that stman
English ladies wear full suits OF chamois,'' b
grabbed his dictionary to SEQ il that was th
right way to spell sschemisc."
Angelina (who has been perusing the s'birth:
deaths, and marriages ny" Edwin, do SO OF
jcct to that horrid word trelct!'' If shoul
dlc, Edwin, promise oh, promise, you will nc
allow me to be described as your relict.''
The local editor OF the Burlington Harke
reports that the false alarm of IRE on Colun
bla street yesterday afternoon was caused by
young lady with cArdinnl-rcd stockings fallIn
out OF the back scat OF an open wagon"
A lady residing uptown has shown her beney
olence by presenting the Benevolent Societ,
with three pairs Of old white kid gloyes dam
aged back shell comb, and fractured hooo-skir
Times.
1ndrecs' DdzdT: When q young wife Il
suffering from chronic inability to keep from
shying articles OF household furniture, it al
moSt extlngushes every spark Of Christian
leellng IN her husbands breast to hear tht
''toibles."
Lady's maid-"1 beg pardon, ma'am, but
Detore you 60 out!n Lady-"No, thanks,
farkcr, 1prefer letting it trail US it's the fashion
! lust nu's' Laly's maid" Yes, ma'am; but as
| the dress is to he mine some day, think ought
TO nave some say in the matter.''
| :. A contemporary says: SIT is all right for
church choirs to sercnadc newiy~marrcd people,
but there are more appropriate HYMNS for such
OCCASIONS eg than What Shall thu Harvest Bcr
Ntnety-and-Nine wouldn't be just the thing,
either. 1t is too many.'
A Tuscaloosa girl got even with her mother
tne othc1 day by marrying the elder brother Of
the elder brother she takes precedence, but
treats her new sister-in-law with patronizipr no.
itcness.
Hs raised his knife and pansed: A CHASTITY glare
e1camea etts from his eyes like moonoeams through
watched him, moveless, in that strange, fixed
1shuddersd as saw his lips set there
fepFcss the shricks his startled soul would utter!
What saw he: Nothing but yoman's hair-
Twas in the butter.
Jake, - said the blushing damscl to loyer
that her father had forbidden tile house, III
as ae W yS15 Iess sa are 9 ds Gzs you nst
about the size Of MY own feet, but wish ',, YOUR
dads we're a little smaller; should feel more
confident, you know. about staying.''
pickering pair Of Quakers were lately heard
~ IT. nigh controversy, ths husband cxclatlning:
am determined to haye one quiet week with
theev' But how wilt thou be able to get til"
sala tne taunting spouse, in that sort OF retera-
Ton Which married ladies 80 provnkiegly in
dulgc IN. II will keep thee a week after tIou art
oeao'" was the Quaker's rejolndcr.
New Orleans Bu1etlp: The driver looked at
her first and then all the passengers, and when
sne ~ threw the rind Of the eleventh orange out
s5$1k3e+ ~.,3.5 H.
Volunteered to go to the drug store for some
1ntt1g, put she only laughed and said that she
Liked the taste Of fresh oranges once in WHILE
and commenced on another. What delight it Is |
70 live IN this land Of myrtle and orange! |
Jasper Rundorf, Of - County, had an alter
cation with his wife's mother the other day. and |
inc w.ry old lady put head on him, and t
bounced him out Of the house, and wouldn't
Let Linn come III again until he aDu1ogizea and +
promised to reform. And now the children say
Il IS actually painful to hear him 60 around eius-
oat Ramkxye.
Norristown Herald: The Fulton Time. puts
This graphic head OIL the description OF we'd
ling: 1.-The Climax OF Love-Hearts and Souls
20 near like ono that you can't slip piece Of
,apcr between them" A year hence, when the
nale heart comes home demoralized from
urchllght procession, and his breath toned
Iowa with cloves, tue estrau2ement will become
% great in little while thar you might driye
our loads Of hay abreast between 'em.
newly married pair were on the Erie Rail-
Fay cars ooe night last week, when the husband
o. o9k from MS pocket roll Of brown paper,
Window, remarking: eYou sail you'd auit
heWing tobacco when married YOU u As zen
y as ne could under the circumstan: RS. tho ,
usoanu remarked that the brown paper cor
aimed, not tobacco, but S100 in bills.
You'll never ~ marry agin,. Susie, you grieve