The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-08-17
CoSFEDRIT X ROADS,

CONFIDENT ROADS,
WITCH Is IN THE STATE Wv KENTUCKY, 7
Jooly Is, 1876
Man is nv but few DAYS and full nv trubble.
can't understand why life shOod be SIGH q conun-
drumI can't understand why things shoodeni
60 on with a more perfect looseuis, and easiei
gait. In short, why shoOdent everybody except
the black Republicans bev precisely wat they
want, without all this trubble and perplexity to
git it'll
Feelin it to be my doOty to do suthin in the in
terest nv Tilden and Reform" cOnclooded to
spend q porshen nv the money that John Morris
ey left with me, to infooence voters, in lower
County in Injeeany and to do it effectOOaily,
made perfect preparashen beforehand, and made
SIGH arrangements ez wood result in proper
demonstrasbun NV the sooperiOrity nv "Tilden
and Reform" over Hayes and Wheeler.
Ez he'd to do the speekin, intended it to be
effective. ! wantid that my work shood count
for the coz, and be seed that shOod result in a
glorious harvest In November.
/ hev alluz nOtised that eff speaker kin be in.
terruptid at the rite time, and eff the Teller wat
interrupts happens to ask a question on witch
the Speaker is perfectly postid, his prompt ansel
alluz put the questiouer or interrupter to tiite
and wins for the speaker the sympathy NV the
people. i perpOsed to interdoOse new ice in
stumpin, by takin with me my own interrupter
80 that Good be shoor that the queries he shood
put wood be SIGH that Good properly anser, and
anser with effeck.
these
Wat is the amount Nv the nashnel deti
Eff Linkin he'd bin detected, wood that det hev
bin incurredf
WHz net the incurrin nv the Diet blessin, per-
tikelery ez it wuz incurred to give freedom to
100000 niggersi
Is it not the wisest thing we kin do to git down
to gold basis to wunstf
Hadent the Western farmer ort to SWEET and
scald to pay the det to the Eastern capitalist
4 rif oil Anrvn md arP na1
for the ansers. You see, they give me a chance,
eff Good hev EN- asked in order, to give the Re-
publikins SIGH hidin ez they never he'd. 1t give
me opportOonity to show that the Diet wuz
made in the interest nv ablishnism, that eff the
Republican party he'd never succeeded, Their new
or wood hev bin no det, that to git back to gold
wood room everybody, and that the Eastern
bondholder wanted the Western farmer to pay
the det any way.
decided to take Issaker Gavitt with me, to
act ez Republican interrupter, and he'd TO git
him up ez Republican. 1t wuz a hard job-the
hardest / ever undertook. To metamOrfOse a
Cross Roads DimOcrat into a Republican, is a
task that requires genius; but undertook it,
and succeeded to some extent. l powdered his
nose, he'd him shaved, and put on him q clean
shirt. i made him black his boots, heviD first
furnished him with a pare, and then PIT on
him q decent SCOT nv Close and made him ware
EN- about the Corners awhile, till he got yoosed
to EN-, and Good appear easy in EN-. Then l took
MIN buu cOdCneu III the QuoSGlOnS "duteu
to AK. bed him repeet EN- over and over agin,
till he he'd EN- by hart, and / told him exackly
wher In my speech wanted him to git in with
sech nv EN-. repeetid my speech to him doz
en- times, and he'd him interrupt me with his
questions, or rather the questions he'd prepared
for him, and then made the ansers, and instruc-
It'd him in all the minusha, even to his blushin
when he sot down discOmfittid.
got him so we'll instructed, that / fattered
myself shoOd go throo with a wet sheet and
flown sale, and shoOd accomplish a big work for
the party. LATED to think wat good thing /.
wood be to hev Issaker dressed up ez Republi-
kin, with his nose powdered, and 10 hev him ask
me SIGH questions ez / Good anser-askin EN- ez
Republican, and me putin him to utter shame!
The fust mite l spoke, he'd it all arranged.
Issaker wuz to set in the awjence and at the
proper time, in all of witch he wuz instructed, he
wuz to commence. 1t wuZ big meetin, the
skool house wuz full, and / hoped for crate
things.
Alars for human expectashensl l he'd bin 30
bissy drummin mp the meetin thrOo the day, that
Ididn't watch Issaker, and knowd nOthn nv wat
he wuZ dom till l saw him in the awjence. l
commenced my speech, and hedn't got decenIly
into the introducshen-I think / wuz dwelin
onto the horrors nv the messegenashen-when
up he got. Crate hevensi He wuz ez drunk ez
a billed owl, and hedn't any more ice NV wat he
wuz DOOM than SEQ Injin. Risn to his feet,
he swayed around unstedily, and remarked that
he he'd question to Ak. In agony, for couldn't
help myself, sed, task it."
"Ez Republican" sed he.
The awjence all LATED, for they knowd by his
nose that no wuz no Republican.
GEE Republican, want to know whether a
Diet witch wuz incurred to nominate TiIden, and
bring about the blessins nv Suthern Confed-
risy, orient to be paid by the bloated Dimocrisy
nv Moo York, witch nominated Tilden, and paid
the ikker bills nv the speaker on the platform,
who owes me for more than four yeers board,
and never paid for drink in his life, onless it
wuE q mistake, and witch brot me here to inter-
Tupt him, witch l sware won't do onless he"-
1Set down. you tjeot,n yelled, .tand don't in-
terrupt me when / am discussin crate constoosh-
mel questions"
"Ieot, yoOrselfs yelled Issaker, in a drunken
rage, Il come here on yoor akkount, and at yoor
expense, 70 play Republican, and interrupt 700,
and won't take no ieot from 700 or any other
man."
Aud the infooriated best made his way throo
that awjence, and precipitatld hsself onto me,
and dragged me of the platform, snd whaled me