The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-04-13
ODDS AND ENDS.

IT is said that the oldest diploma at
Dartmouth College has written on the
back an order for quart Of rum, signed
by the holder of the diploma.
The souls dark cottage battered and decsyed.
Lets in new light through chinks that time has
stronger BY weakness, wiser men become
AS they draw near to their eternal home
Leaving the old, both worlds ct once they view
That stand upon the threshold OF the new.
Hd1sr-
AsKIFF was turned over in the river
Yesterday, and Mr.. Tyler was thrown
into the water. = Louisville Ledger. A
clear case of tip-a-canoe and Tyler too. -
hader-Appedl.
SCHooLMIsTREss = Johnny, I'm
ashamed of you'll When / was your age
conld read as we'll as ! can now"
/. Yes, but you'd different teacher to
what we've got. s 8 6
You may never have thought of it, but
it is utterly impossible to get downright
angry without raising your voice. Con-
troll your voice and you are sure to con-
troll your temper.
MEMPHIS was trying to put on airs
over the fact that $500 glasses of beer
had been guzzled in that city on Mardi
Gras Day, when New Orleans arises with
the remark that on that day one saloon
in that city alone disposed Of Z 40
glasses.
A LOCAL witof Lafayette, Ark, under
took to fool DIR. Westbrook one dusly
evening last week into the belief that a
plug of twist tobacco that he pointed at
the doctors head was a pistol He sue
ceeded admirably, and was shot dead be.
fore he could explain that it was all
joke.
WHEN death strikes down the innocent
and young, for every fosm from which
he lets the painting spirit free, hundred
virtues rise in shapes of mercy, charity
and love, to walk the world and bless it.
OF every tear that sorrowing mortals
shed on such green graves, some good is
born, some gentler nature comes.
A CALIFORNIA hunter, who went ten
miles into the wilderness OF the Nevada
mountains where game was plenty,
found that he had brought six boxes of
quinine pills instead of percussion caps.
Result-he left camp, gun and utensils
and is now herdiDg cattle on quiet
rancho.
WASHINGTON.
Where shall the weary eye repose
When gazing on the great2 ~.
Where neither guilty glory glovs
Nor despicable state2
But one, the first, the last, the best,
The Cincinnatus Of the Vest,
Whom envy dare not hate
Beaueathed the name OF Washington,
To make men blush there was but one
= Bgfoa-
WE passed the window the other
evening and they were having little
family Jar. She called him an old
fool. !" and he called her tea kettle" !"
/" You're tea KETTLE" he repeated ye-
hemently, you'll sing pleasantly one
minute and boil over the next" We
didn't stay to hear any more.
Mrs. MURRAY explains that the reason
she always has such good milk is that she
never keeps the same milkman more
than month. He wants to secure
customers, and SO there is more COW in
his milk than usual at first. Whenever
his milk is such as not to enlist the best
efforts of the cat, she changes.
TINE wears slippers of list, and his
tread is noisless. The days come softly
drawing one after another they creep IN
at the window their fresh morning air
is grateful to the lips as they pant for it;
their music is sweet to the ears that listen
to it; until, before we know it, a whole
life ofdays has possession Of the citadel,
and time has taken Us for its OWL
THERE is bird in Peru to which the
natives have given the beautiful name OF
alma perdida (the lost soul, whose cry
is exceedingly melancholy the hrst
note is shrill and long, and is followed
by three more of the same length, but
gradually deepening in tone. The feru-
Vans say it is bewailiDg the dead. The
tone of this birds voice is very different
from a Peruvian bark.