The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-06-24
vAR1Er5

Isn't it a little too mucY to crowd into 1915
366 days, fifty three SUM vs Centennial celebra
ton. the Presidential ssection. the Reciprociet,
:! Treaty. and the Us washington Tea-party
rascally old achdoAsays, the most difficult
surgical opera,Sh in the World is, TO take tn
Jaw out Of Woman
Soma women won't be happy n heaven unies
they car scrub it out once year PINE, ".
!SentiseI.
,ditor, and the editor says, "Qbto see ycur's
back" what does he mean?
Z Hesiod wrote two thous/ seven hundred
years ago: 4 ,,,,
The baseball lover bu : up bis sleeves, and
with despairing and NJ tlful look at the last
straight finger, goes in pe ne summers fun
A Sandy Hill young. killed polecat re-
Gently with her ktheat usket, and between the
musiet and polecat r: no young man dares to
come within a mile dOmicile.
; nosu smvNlIqii; = chewing Christians never
will reform this world,'' says Mr.. Moody, and
yet Mr.. Sturgeon, just as good authority, regards
his pipe rs means of grace.-BufalO Courier
An ancient headstone in the old burying ground
at West Lynn, Mass, bears the following inscrip-
tion g God took the good, too good to stay;
and left the bad, too bad to take away"
The following eptaph is from tombstone in
Under This SOD our Babe Lies,
Il neither Cries nor HolErs
1T LIVED Just twenty Days,
clasped her fair hand in a rapture of bliss,
And thought, OH how blessed our fates-
Till looked on the gloves that enyeloped her
And found that, alasl they were "eights."
"I doesn't want no lawyer Use gwine to tell |
de troof dis time, is what regular customer at
the Recorders Court .old his honor when that |
fnnctionary inquired if he had engaged legal |
assistance.
An exchange asks: I" What are our young
men doing?' We can't answer for the rest OF
the country, but aronnd here they engaged
mainly in trying to lead nine-dolar existence
on a seventy-dolar salary.-Norarich Bulletin.
A beautiful female lobbyist says that one tear,
if it can be so shed to reflect the light of
bright setting sun, will have more power over
the average Congressman than all the arguments
that could be compressed into a two hours con-
versation.
A Boston paper remarks that the effects of cul-
ture always prominent in language. This is
noticeable when Boston woman jams her finger.
She says, 4" "Aow.' Coarse, ilbred people say,
'' Ouch 1t is tribes that reveal the innate de-
licacy of human soul.-Nortrich Bulletin.
A writer in an agricultural paper claims that
there Is death in the dshcloth. Perhaps they
don't know how to cook 'em at his house. We
never ate dishcloth, bat we should think that
if they were soaked twenty-four hours before
boiling, and carefully scraped and drawn with
butter before placing on the table, they would be
every bit healthy and paIatable tripe.-
NOTTIStoicn Herald.
Two sons of Erin shoyeling sand on a hot day,
stopped to rest, and exchanged views the
labor question "a Pat this is mighty hard work
we're att 80 1t is, indade, Jimmy but what
kind of work is youd like if We could get it?''
as Well says the Other,' leaning rehectivey upon
his shovel and wiping the perspiration with the
back of his hand. " For a nice, aisy, elane bus- :
ness, 1 think would like to be bishop
The Fatal THrRrEEN-There are silly stories in I
the papers about the superstitious notions OF the
late A. I. Stewart, and his belief in signs and
omens, lucky days, places, persons, events, etc.
But il is curious thing, well as a true one, 7
related OF the so-called supersttions, or what =
ever they may be called which seem to linger in z
his mind, that at the very last of the usual Sun
day dinner parties given in his house before his
death, there were the unlucky number of thir-
teen persons present at the table. He had
always previously avoided that number 1t is I
also curious fact that; on this occasion, the =
lucky omen was noticed by one of the thirteen "
guests, who said to another of them that there =
would be death in the house. In eight days
afterward the master of the house lay dead in a
chamber not far from the dining -room.-MetO I
York Sun.
A Terre Haut writer, misled by one warm day, II
vent off into the following extravagant predic-
ION: The gay and festive Jay bird will soon fill
he hillside with his swelling strains, and pluck
he voIuptuous hoppergrass from cereal luxu-
lance. The Tariegated ,aterpillars will soon
over ocelIerous combinations. The tt
,yolopagous millepod will items tete tho -,
ie spring morning Mering tt IT.. rep"
Ourse through the alformed tie @ 500 the Rle"
cooperative nature, saved. ~ the