The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1876-11-15
a NEW sA~CrUM nOUNcER.
How - Get Rid Of Exchange
Friends aud Bore
Barling on Haw keye.l

editorial room, and it Is proud 10 say tina
It has the finest, most comfortable, com
: plete, and convenient editorial rooms in
America. They are finished off with a
little invention which will be Of untold
value to the profession of journalism
when il Is generally adopted, and we
know that it will rapidly come into uni
yersai use as soon aS its merits are under
stood and appreciated. We believe it is
fuliy equal, Ia ali that the term implies
TO the famous Bogariess Kicker, less
liable to get out of order, and less easily
detected by casual visitors It is known
as "Middlerlbs Automatic Welcome"
The sanctum is on the same floor as the
news room, being separated from it by a
partition, IN which Is cut large window,
easily opened by an automatic arrange
ment. The editors table is placed in
front of that window aad near the head
of the stairs, and on the side of the table
next the window, directly opposite the
editor, the visitors chair is placed. 1t
has an inviting look about it, and its en-
t<e appearance is guileless and common
| place. But the strip Of floor on which
their chair rests is a deception and a
| fraud. 1t is an endless chain, like the
floor OF a horse power, and is operated at
will by the editor, who has merely to
touch spring in the floor to set it in
motion. It's operation can best be under
stood by personal INSPECTION.
I esterday morning about 10 o'clock
! Mr.. Bostwick came in with funny story
to tell. He naturally Topped down into
the chair that had the strongest appear
ance of belonging to some one else and
| began in his usual happy vein: F'Pve got
the richest thing-oh ma, ha, ha the
best thing-oh, by George, cant-oh
ha, ha, ha! Oh by George, the richest
thing! Oh its too loud You must
never tell where you got-oh, by George!
| can't do it! Its too good You know
oh, ha, ha, ha, oh, he, he, he You
know the-oh, by George, | ca"
Here the editor touched the spring, a
nail grab under the bottom of the chair
reached swiftly up and caught Mr. Bost-
wick by the cushion of his pants, the win
dow flew up, and the noIsele, belt of floor
gliding on its course bore the astonished
Mr.. Bostwick through the window out
into the news room, half way down to the
cases, where he was received with great
applause by the delighted composltors.
The window had slammed down as soon
as he passed through, and when the edi-
torial foot was withdrawn from the spring
and the chair stopped and the nail grab
resumed its accustomed place, young MI.
Bostwick found himself so kind of out of
the sanctum, like it might be, that he
went slowly and dejectedly down the
stairs, as it were, while amazement sat
upon his brow, ike.
The next casual visitor WAS Mr.. j.
Alexis Flaxeter, the critic. He had a
copy of the Hawkeye in his hand, with
all the typographical errors marked in
red ink, and his face was wreathed in
smiles that it was impossible to tell where
his mouth ended aud his eyes began.
He took the vacant chair and spread the
paper out before him, covering up the
editors manuscript. "My keen vision
and delicate sense of accuracy" he said,
are the greatest crosses of my life.
Things that YOU never see are mountains
in my sight. Now here, you see, is a"
The spring clicked softly like an echo to
The impatient movement of the editors
foot, the nal grab took hold like bull
dog helping Burlington troubadour
over the garden fence, the chair shot
back through the window like a meteor,
and the window came down with a slam
that sounded like a wooden giant getting
off the shortest bit of profanity known to
man, and all was silent again. Mr..
F!axeter sat very close to the frosted win
dow, staring blank Y at the clouded glass,
sesing nothing that could offer any ex-
PLANTATION of what he would have firmly
believed was land slide, had he not
heard the editor safe in his guarded den,
softly whstling, owe shall meet but we
shall miss him"
Then there was a brief interval of quiet
in the sanctum and rustling of raiment
was heard on the stairs. A lovely wo-
man entered and stood unawed in the
editorial presence. The Z. p on its part,
was rather nervous and uncomfortable.
The lovely woman seated herself in the
fatal chair. She slapped her little grip
sack on the table and opened her little
subscription book. She said: 81 am So
Letting cash contributions-stric ex-
clusively, and peremptorily cash contri
buttons pay off the church debt and
buy an organ for the mission church OF
the forlorn strangers, and | expect"
These are times when occasion demands
great effort. The editor bowed his head
and, after one brief spasm Of remorse,
felt for the secret spring.
The window went up like charm
the reckless nailgrab hung back for
second, as if held by feeling Of innate
delcacy, and then it shut its eyes and
smothered its pity and reached up and
took death-like hold on a roll of able
and influential newspapers and net
work of string and tape, and the caval-
cade backed out into the newsroom with
colors flying. The chair stopped just be-
fore the familiar spirit who was washing
/, the forms, and as the lovely woman
gazed at the inky face, she shrieked:
''Merciful heavens, where am T." aud
was borne down the gloomy stairway I'M
conscious, while the printers whose cases
were the nearest the wicked window
heard the editor singing, as it might be
/ to himself, Dearest sister, tLou has
+ left US"
An hour of serenity and tranquility
/ In the editorial room was broken by
a brisk, business-like step on the stairs,
+ the door flew open with a hang that
shot the key half way across the room,
and a sociable looking, familiar kind of
a stranger jammed into the chair.
slapped his hat over the ink stand,
pushed Pile of proof, twenty pages Of
copy, a box of pens, the paste cup, and
pair Of scissors off the table to make
room for the old familiar fiat sample
case, and said in one brief breath,
Il am agent for Gamberton's Popular
! Centennial Worlds History and Amer
/ lean Citizens Treasure book of Valu-
able Information, sold only by sub
scription and issued in monthly parts,
whole work complete in 30 parts, each
] k 4. L. z