The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-06-10
VARIETY.

A bad policy-One that has out.
Signal for a bark-Pulling dogs tail.
The bonds of iniquity have no market value.
business that is picking up-The rag
gatherers.
Which is the more combustible-cotton WOO
or a tow-boat
Noses are fashionable, and have always been
followed.
Music of the spheres''-The clicking OF
billiard balls.
1t makes man and mars a woman to be
talked about
People WI lways wishing for something
new should rlgia.
What wor ust always have his glass
before he can is work? glazier.
There is German proverb which says that
Take-it-Easy and Live-Long are brothers.
Why did Othello live IN Venice and not in
Rome? Because he Moor at home there.
e Vicious friends are like bad corns-they'll
make you suffer terribly if you don't cut them.
CANNor-The good of mans life cannot be
measured by the length of his funeral procession.
ALREADY-Look out for long, hard Winter.
Susan B. AnthOny's feet have already begun to
grow cold.
The cOmpOsItOr VINO substituted - Tor
Wv - In speaking of lady troubled with ''swell
ing of the feet accomplished the worst typo
graphical feat on record.
Man with hands in pockets) )-.' Seen anything
of a job o'work lately, John ?'' Other man
(wi&hands in other pockets)-" one t'other day,
but 4Idn't like to ask, COS they might a said
yes-''
Some people have an instinct for the ludcrous.
Even the sternest and most rigid orthodoxy covers
lie eatt lIUbe nf tho hO
was asked to supply appropriate motto for an
orphan asylum, gave "Thus far and no father"
ONE FOR HER NoB.-Young lady visitor
" There, there don't cry like that, even suppose
you did fall downstairs and hurt yourself. l
shouldn't Young Gentlemen Oh, dessay
not but 1 amt got chinyon, like you!''
A little girl in Mt. Vernon street, Washington,
cut her finger few days since and her fond
mother ordered John to run quickly to Charles
street and bring a doctor s. If one amt in,
were the orders, leave word and go to the next"
John obeyed orders, and twenty-one doctors call
ed in course of an hour.
REAL BENEFACroR.-A Pennsylvania man
has invented little instrument by the use of
which man may snore in church without max
ing any noise. Lots of men fool away their time
on motors and such things, and do no good to
any one. Here's man who's real benefactor
of the human race.
What are you doing there why don't you
go to work?' asled father of his son. ''I'm
like Micawber,' replied the youth, ' waiting for
something to turn up" The boy was placed
across the paternal knee, and received the usual
mild admonition. He believes now that some
thing has turned up in a double sense, entirely
different from what he expected.
A traveller, being at a coffee house with some
gentlemen, was largely drawing on the credulity
of the company, '' Where did you say all those
wonders happened, sir?" asked gentleman pre-
sent '' really can't exactly say" replied the
traveller 80 but it somewhere in Europe
Russia think '' should rather think Italy
returned his opponent.
Henry Bergh, if the following story told of him
Is correct, must have been born without original
sin. He may have acquired his pro rata quantity
since coming into contact with cruel stage
drivers. but in his infancy he was without guile.
, 1t is said that in his earliest years he was so
tender hearted that when mosquito lit on his
face he hit himself powerful blow and knocked
himself away from the mosquito rather than take
the valued life of the insect