davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

Whenever you see a man active in poli.
tics, spot him at once. He has an axe to
to grind. In all your past recollection
where can you find an unselish politician
Can you place your finger on a man who
babies politics all day and half the night
who will give the last dollar to his party
and not one cent to the church, or for char.
liable obejects-who sacrifices ease and
comfort for party, but does nothing for the
relief of suffering humanity-can you find
such man, we say, who has not had hold
of the political teat or has his nose so very
near it that his mouth is already open to re.
ceive it? The laboring, honest men ofall par.
ties should keep vigilent eye upon all such
political paupers. They are the bummers of
parties-the bane of social life Spot such
men, if found in either party, and let them
go to work in an honest way and make an
honest living. The paltry, pot house poll
tician is to be despised. The office should
seek the man, and not man the office. This
is the shortest route to politicalreform, and
will place honest, deserving men in Office
Er
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
Shut Your Mouth.

A remarkable little book was published
some years ago by Mr.. George Catlin, an
American artist, under the title "Shut Your
Mouth and Save Your Life" In it he
told how he had discovered, during a long
intercourse with the wild Indians of the
American Continent, that one of the great
causes of maladies which affect civilized
men is the habit of breathing through the
mouth.
The Indian child, be observed, is never
allowed to sleep with its mouth open; the
savage mother, as her infant fell asleep,
never failed to press its lips together till
she had fixed a habit that was to last for
life; when the child grew up, sleeping or
waking, he kept his mouth shut. And
thus it happens, according to Mr.. Catlin,
that the native race of North and South
America enjoy such good health and physi.
cal perfection and escape the deplorable
diseases and mortality of civilized commu.
mites. Amongst two millions of wild peo-
pie, he never heard of a hunchback or
crooked spine, or an idiot or lunatic, whilst
premature death was far from common.
The nostrils are evidently made for
breathing through; they form the natural
outlet of the lungs. The sides of their air
passages are lined with hairs, which in
some degree at least, prevent the ingress of
noxious matters in the air we breathe
Dust is strained out; and it is confdentially
asserted by those who have tested the mat
ter, that miasmas are prevented from enter
ing the blood if one only breathes through
the nose. Some persons have lived in
malarious districts and slept on the banks
OF malarious rivers for years without suffer
ing from any of the forms of fevers that
haunt such neighborhoods. And they have
ascribed their exemptions solely to their
settled habit of breathing in this way. All,
or almost all, the air taken thus into the
lungs, comes in contact with the mem
branes of the nose, and these are supposed
to possess some power of neutralizing NAL
arious and contagious poisons.
1t is also to be remarked that, by draw
ing our breath only through our nostrils, the
air is warmed by contact with the mem
branes before it reaches the lungs, and SO
Inflammation and congestion of these organs
are avoided.
No perfect sleep can be obtained with
the mouth open. Now quiet rest we must
have; it is the great physician and restorer
of mankind. Contrast" says Mr. Catlin,
"the natural repose of the Indian child ed
ucated to keep its lips closed, with the un-
comfortable slumbers of the infant of civil
ization with its mouth wide open and gasp
ing for breath" The frm-shut mouth, too.
promotes good looks. Who ever yet saw
an open mouth that was not insipid and
unattractive?
Keep your mouth shut, then, when you
read, when you write, when you listen,
when you walk, when you are running, and
by all means when you are angry. The
habit is difficult to acquire, but improved
health is worth taking trouble about.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
WHOLE NO. 1,l2G.

A CLOAK OF FEArnEEs.-Tho Kingston
Freeman says; 'SThere is an industrious
young lady in the country who is making
cloak entirely of partridge feathers. 1t
will be a unique piece of clothing and very
pretty and comfortable, though it requires
an immense amount Of labor and persever
ance to put it together. In it will be at
least ten thousand feathers Of different
sizes, the lower portion of the cloak being
made of the tail feathers, and then ranging
up, the breast feathers coming next, while
the variegated plumagc around the neck
of the bird will encircle the white throat
Of the lady. 1t will require about one
hundred partridges to fill out the regular
courses Of feathers. The birds arc shot by
her brother Bill. who pops them over
whenever she wants them, only asking
that she will nicely cook what is left for
himself to make square meal of Of"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
DAY AFTERNOON, NOVEMBER %, 1876.
UNBELIEF. .

There is no unbelief;
Whoever plants leaf beheath the sod.
And waits to see it push away the clod
He trusts in God.
Whoever says, when clouds are in the sky.
." BE patient, heart light breaketh by and byp
Trusts the Most High.
Whoever sees, meath Winters field of snow,
The silent harvest of the future grow;
Gods power must know.
Whoever lies down on his couch to sleep,
Content to look each sense in slumber deep
Knows God will keep
Whoever says TO morrow" "The unknown"
THE future" trusts unto the power alone
He dares disown.
The heart that looks on when the eyelids close
And dares to live when life has only woes,
Gods comfort knows.
There is no unbelief;
And day by day and night unconsciously,
The heart lives by that faith the lips deny;
God knoweth why.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A WOMAN DIES FROM a CAT BITE.-In
August last Mrs. Daniel Ewing, Jersey CITY.
New Jersey, was playipg with kitten, when
the animal bit her through the end of the
thumb, the teeth perforating the nail. Mrs.
Ewing paid no more attention TO the wound
than to bind it up in order to staunch the
blood which flowed, and to mention the
circumstances to her domestics. In a few
days the wound was perfectly healed and
nothing further was thought of it until
Tuesday night week, October n. On Tues.
day afternoon Mrs. Ewing retired for nap,
and never left her bed. She was taken
,alarmingly ill, and a physician sentfor. He
at once treated her for hydrophobia. Mrs.
Ewing was made aware of her awful situa.
ton and begged that her life be saved.
Several physicians agreed that it was case
OF rabies. On Friday morning Mr.. Ewing
tested the case by offering his wife water,
and was convinced that she was suffering
from hydrophobia. Nothing but the bite
OF the kitten could be offered as the cause
OF the disease, which makes itaverv strange
one indeed. Mrs. Ewing died easily and
quietly, and drank water an hour or two
before her death.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
Origin of an Old Saying.

After the battle of Long Island, which
was fought August II, 1776, one hundred
years ago, after the capture of New York
city by the British, Gen. Howe made his
headquarters in New York, leaving Staten
Island in command of Col. Dalrymple.
The wounded from the bloody Brooklyn
field were taken to the island and billeted
upon the farmhouses. 1t was Howe's
custom to visit the temporary hospitals
regularly, in order to satisfy himself that
his men were receiving proper care. On
one occasion during heavy storm, he and
his staff took shelter under a farmhouse
shed. Farmer Cole, seeing party outside,
approached them with the hearty invita-
tions to enter the house and rest until the
storm should subside. Mrs. Cole was
churning in the kitchen, and the guests
occupied the sitting room. "Wo are very
hungry said member of the staff; can you
give us something to eat?'
" | can't leave my churn," said the prac
tical housewife.
"l'll churn for yeu," said a splendidly
uniformed officer.
Forthwith he was set to work, Mrs. Cole
having taught him how to use the dasher
AS she proceeded with the culinary work
ever and anon she glanced at the toiline
officer. "Well," said she to his brother
officers, "if he can't use the sword better
than tho churn dasher, he must be a
mighty poor soldier"
This sally raised hearty laugh, in which
the volunteer churner joined heartily. He
kept on gallantly, the perspiration stream
ing from every pore. 1t was the hardest
work he had ever done in his life.
"That's right" said Mrs. Cole, cncour
agingly; keep on long enough and you'll
fetch butter"
When the military gentlemen took theii
leave they offered to pay for their enter
tainment. awe don't keep tavern saiC
Mrs. Cole, with short decisive snap of tn,
independent farmers wife; and the Officers
rode away.
keep on long enough and you'll fetcl
butter" became household expression il
the British army, and was taken to tn,
other side of the water, where it was uttered
many time to encourage those who wer,
striving to accomplish results under diff
culties. short time after the occurenc
at the farmhouse, Mrs. Cole received parce
from New York. 1t contained a splendic
black silk dress and a letter of thanks am,
compliments from Con. Sir William Howe
1t was he who had done the churning. Th
dress is an heirloom in the Cole family, an,
the latter is preserved as one of the fey
pleasant "reminiscences of war in whicl
the weaker party carried out to a successful
issue tho suggestion made by the farmer
wife: keep on long enough and you'll
fetch butter."-N Y. Sun.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
THE OLD PRINTING OFFICE.

What! Twelve o'clock? How time does fly.
wbene'er sit and fondly muse
On the happy days when Brown and
Set type upon the Weekly Nelcs.
All mel How plainly recall
That dingy, topographic den
The charcoal profles on the wall
offaces I'll neer see again;
The bust of Franklin 'bove the door.
The battered hand-press, old and grim,
see Brown pull the lever Ger
Once more roll the forms for him.
Once more in thought stand behind
The old hand-press and roll for Brown;
Again we're Mortified to find
An item printed upside down;
Again old Colby leaves his seat,
Exclaiming wildly, +" Stop the pressr'
And on the freshly-printed sheet
Exhibits an inverted as"
Once more the local poet raves,
And threatens both our worthless lives"
Because he'd written "burly knaves,"
An we have made it Barlow knives"
Poor mamie hungered for renown
And hoped to win it through the news.
But cruel critics in the town
Kept him repairing boots and shoes,
And now within the churchyard's shade,
Beneath stone of humble size,
Deep planted by the sections spade,
A mute, inglorious Milton lies.
Let all aspiring bards take heed
To this his epitaph, to wit:
Here lies poet, gone to seed
He left behind-a eobblers kit"
Heigho If wishes could replace
The we:I-remembered scenes of yOre,
I'd soon be standing at the case,
And nimbly sticking type once more;
For years have brought with them the sting
That vexes those who think and think,
And scratch their weary heads and sling
The unremunerated ink.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
A Champion Better.

The following story is going around in
French military circles. An officer, Verdier,
was celebrated in his garrison for winning
every bet. None Of his comrades could boast
of ever having been victorious, and at last
no one cared to enter bet with him. One
day Verdier was transferred to another
regiment, but the fame of his peculiar luck
had already spread before him. After a
supper rendered him by his new comrades
on the evening Of his arrival, and when the
champaign made its appearance, General
B. called out: "Is it really true, Verdier,
that you win every bet?n
$50 it is, general"
"But how the duce do you do it?"
"Oh, very simple. am physiognomist,
and bet only when am quite sure"
"You are physiognonist? Well, then,
what, for instance, can you read now in my
face?"
81 can see, }" said Verdier promptly, "that
your old wound on the upper and back
part of your leg is broken out again."
Nonsense" thundered the general, 81
never had a wound there."
81 beg pardon, my general, but"
"No but! after assure you, sir"
"Perhaps you do not like to speak of it
perhaps a duel"
"La DiaLLc!-youwon'tb believe me. What
will you bet?
Anything you please, General"
Give hundred francs"
"All right-fve hundred francs"
"The gentlemen present are witnesses =
With these words the General at once pro
ceeded to divest himself, sans gene al q
Suwarrow, of his pantaloons, and scrutien-
Gus inspection by all present revealed the
fact that there was no trace of wound by
sword or BALL
"You lost the bet, Verdier!" shouted the
General, packing himself up again.
81 have lost indeed, this once. Men NAV
err sometimes. Here are your 500 francs" ."
The General put the money, with a
chucllle, into his pocket. After he arrived
home he at onece wrote to his old chum, the
general in command of Verdiers former
regiment: "Dcar fricnd-The story about
Verdier's luck is all humbug. He just
made bet that had wound on my back
for 500 francs, and of course lost it," The
answer came back: "Your naivette i:
truly charming, Your winning of the
800 francs cost me 1000, which verdisl
bet on the day of his leaving that he
will make you, on the first evening
OF meeting, take off your inexpressiblcs il
the presence of your officers, and that you
yourself would inform me of it,"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

a woman was arraigned at a New York
police court on the charge of assaulting her
husband. She defended hcrelf by saying
that her husband had insulted her by
saying: "Providence has spared you the
necessity of maling.any eXertions of your
own to turn up your nose. ."-PlHtdIphu
BnLc!n.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A Dog near Norfolk, Va, was taught to
wait every day for railroad train, catch a
newspaper thrown out by the baggage
master and carry it home. His master died
several months ago, but he goes every day
70 get the newspaper, and gazes after the
cars in apparent disappointment when
nothing is thrown to him.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

Says an old widower: womans hand!
How beautifully moulded, how faulucss in
symmetry, how soft and white and yielding.
and oh, how much Of gentle memory its
pressure conveys! Yet we don't like it in
our hair.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

There is said to be an old gentleman in
England who has found the true elixir of
life to be the food of infancy. lie always
has five wet-nurses "on tap" and grows
"fat and well liking as he vergcs on cen
tenarianism
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

The State Constitution of Minnesota has
been amended forty-eight times since she
was admitted to the Union, and the people
only. want fifteen or twenty more changes
before they will be entirely satisfied.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22
The Pen Maker and the Painter,

Once, after an annual dinner the English
Water-Color Society, j. B. Pyne, the artist.
walked home with Turner the most mystical
OF painters. 1t was a walk of more than
two miles, but not one word was said by
Turner until he reached his own door.
There he broke the silence with, 81 say,
Pyne, paintings rum dodge, isn't it?" and
shut the door with ''good night" 1t
might have been of his experience with
elliott, the maker of steel pens, that Turner
was thinking when he made that speech.
When elliott had from pens acquired wealth
he desired to possess those objects of art
which denote the presence of refinement as
we'll as of money, and he wentup to London
to ask his banker how and where he should
buy them. The man of business recon-
mended the various noted artists of the
time, among them Turner. Off went the
square, podgy, rough little man to Turner's
abode, asking at the door if the painter man
was at home. The great artist was busy
he could not see him; elliott walked past
the maid, up the stairs, and pushed open
the studio door "'I say, Turner-that l be-
lleve's your name-what's the figure for this
pictureT turning it as if it were a dried
goldfish toward him. The painter raised his
head an instant from his board and said
very carelessly, -Four thousand guineas. :,
And this other to the right pursued Gil
lott, what's the price of thatY Three
thousand pounds, was the answer. 'And
this one on the leftr Fifteen hundred
guineas.' E'll take three said elliott.
Then Turner rose and laid down his pencils.
who the devil are you, he said, who takes
the liberty to intrude into my studio against
my orders? You must be queer sort Of
beggar, fancy You're another queer
beggar, was the reply; I am elliott, the
pen maker. My banker tells me you are
clever in your business, and recommends
you, and have ceme here 70 buy some OF
your pictures.' by George you are a drolI
fellow, must say You're another, | must
say But pursued Turner, 'rough-and.
ready though you are, | rather like YOU.
10 you really want TO purchase the canvas
es you selected 2 Yes; in course do, or
| would not have climbed your blessed
stairs this morning. well, Mr.. elliott, |
must be frank with you: when noticed
you in my studio without permission, l
thought it piece of impertinence, and,
when you asked the prices, thought YOU
did so as many vulgar people do, for mere
curiosity, having no intention of buying,
wishing only to know what valuation | put
upon my works, and l gave you a price
which suited my humor. Two of the pic
lures are already disposed of; the other, the
first one you spoke Of, is at your acceptance
for thousand pounds Il will take it,
said the prineely elliott; and want you
to make me three or four others at your
own price Thus the pen.maker and the
eccentric artist became friends, and warm
friends too" Thus writes Mr.. j. E. Free.
man in Appleton's Journal.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A Georgia colored debating society was
lately discussing Which is the best for the
laboring man, to work for wages or part of
the crop?" An old "uncle" spoke the
sense of the meeting when he thought
"bofo was de best, if dcy could only be
brung together somehow"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

When you reflect that at picnics hun
dred years ago it was the custom for the
girls to stand up in row and let the men
kiss them all good-by, all this enthusiasm
about national progress seems to be a grave
mistake.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

When the Rhode Island militia paraded
the other day you might hear the officers
thunder forth their commands: "Guide
right; steady, men; don'tpushany one over
into Connecticut!'
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

"Ah!" said She, with little sigh; "don't
you think this the loveliest weather in the
world for a wedding, George p "lIinnic,'
said George, "did you hear Senator Doc
little. He's fine speaker, tell you"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

OYSTER FEITTERs.-Make batter of the
juice of fifty oysters with three beaten eggs;
thicken. with flour. Add the oysters,
coarscly chopped, and drop by smooth
spoonfuls into the boiling fat
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A Missouri man has invented Il machine
that will make two kegs Il minute. These
will be useful under a democratic admins
tration.-N. Y Herald
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

Darwin, who writes about the origin Of
man, has an income of twenty thousand
dollars year. If our income was that
large, we wouldn't caro- whether man evol-
we'd from monkey, or a monkey from
man
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

Democratic papers talk about the injus-
tice of having State electors of presidents,
as if the system was not a relic of the old
States Rights idea.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

"Did you do nothing to rcsuscitate the
body ?' was recently asked of witness at a
coroner's inquest. eyes, sir; we searched
the pockets" was the reply.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

Judge Moore of Tarborough, NC, never
sentences criminals to be hung on Friday.
He says he is bound to break up the sense
less superstition.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A Boy WITH GENIUS FOR MATHEMATICS
The Troy (Ala.) Enquirer says: "a negro
boy, ii years of age, who gives his home as
Columbia, Ga, and lives on the plantation
OF Major E. Hollis, in this county, possesses
most remarkable mathematical mind and
is quite prodigy. He does not know the
letters of the alphabet, and but three of
the ten figures, yet could multiply one
mixed number by another, add three or
four common fractions, and four or five
numbers or units, tens and hundreds, given
so as to be most difficult to be summed up,
and multiplied one number by another with
equal rapidity to one working with pencil
and with great accuracy, having made but
one mistake in about dozen problems we
gave him.
His head was we'll developed generally
for child of his age, but no inordinate de-
velopment Of any Of the faculties said to be
largely developed on tho Uranium of mathe-
matieians. He has attended school only
one month, and has never received any in.
instructions in mathematics.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A St. Louis woman says it is no worse to
encirole lady's waist with your arm in a
ball room than to hug your friends sister
on the back stairs.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

The population of England now amounts
to 100000 persons distributed over
about thirty million acres Of cultivable
land. There is therefore, one person TO
one and quarter acres, whereas in most Of
the other Kingdoms of Europe there are
about five acres of land to each person /;
and ON the entire surface Of the earth, Elk.
elusive of the artic zones, about ten acres oi
land TO each personi or, after fair deduc.
ton for uninhabitable deserts and noun
tains, probably seven or eight acres of culti-
vable land to each person, ,o-A AAsaeum.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

A Virginia city (Nevada) justice is very
confidential in his court-room. "Most men
make fools Of themselves when they marry"
he remarked one morning. "Now, called
the turn when gotspliced Do you know
boys, don't never buy bit Of wood hardly
The old woman is always nosing round and
snatching board here and there, an she's
so down on Cinnamon that she does all her
own washing. All women amt like her
though. Most Of 'em want TO put in ten
hours a day in rocking.chair. My old
hen amt had new dress for three years, :,
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

The young man who said he wls bound
to make noise in the world now strikes a
gong at hotel.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22

Nor USED TO THAT SORT OF AMMUNITION.
"A miner with a revolver in each boot
leg, and gallon Of California whiskey
under his hat, was lounging in tho streets
of Deadwood City, in the Black Hills, when
suddenly stranger happened to brush
against him. Out came the pistol from
the right boot, and up went the right arm
with a flourish. "Eog, look yer, every
body id this yer gulch; look at me and
crawl Pm Wild Cat Tip from Bear Gulch.
Git out here, half dozen of yer, and form
line of battle, cause ] can 'thold onto this
yer hammer rnuch longer; SO trot 'sm
out" Some one in the crowd fred pistol
in the air, and simultaneously rotten egg
struck Tip between the eyes. "rm muir
dered,7 he yelled, dropping his revolver
and falling heavily to the ground, In a
moment he came to himself, and, straight,
ening UP, remarked plaintively, Boys, let
me see the caliber of that gun what shoots
| eggs Territorial Enterprise.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-22


New York city has l006 bakeries and 5Sl1
liquor saloons-proof positive that they
drink nearly six times as much as they eat.
REMOVING SMELLs.--An unwholesome
odor can be removed from a room by burn
ing within it sugar or ground coffee.
While a Texan was fighting prairie fire
near his house, his daughter ran away with
her lover and was married.
Eleven hundred girls are employed at
one artificial flower factory in France, none
being over twenty.
Il there yeast manufacturer in America
whose cakes didn't take the highest medal
at The Centennial 2"
Itwas Detroit woman who vanished
an old bureau and stood it close to the stove
to dry.