The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-06-02
WHAT THE WIT5S say.


with the ague to shake carpets.
Nearly all the ''orange men, you find on
the corners and side streets are Fenians.
Queer, isn't it?
A Wooster street son of toll advertises
himself as 'sKabinetmaker.' He was
educated in Siberia.
The New York Herald quote remarka-
BILE story, and adds s'Thus is truth strang-
er than statement in the Coarier-Jour-
maz" '0a,
The Philadelphia Bulletin accounts for
squeaking Sunday boots by saying, "It is
because their soles havn't been aisled for a
week."
A large number of Chinese eut-throats
and Canton river pirates have arrived in
San Francisco. "See the Hong Kongker-
ing hero comes" +... ....
A chrome with every egg now.-Dan5as-
ry NeUs. Is that crow mo a rooster? p
Whitehall Times. Guess so, for rooster
can crow mo- than ahen.--Narristoo Her.
ozd.
Landlord, didn't you ever have a gen.
tleman stop with you before2'' ssAre you
gentleman ?'' 'sYes, I am.'' "Then |
never had gentleman ever stop with me
before" -.
Now, young man, house cleaning has ar
rived, and If you take down and put away
the dining room stove pipe, you will find it
much the cheapest way of getting a new
spring SCOT.
The chief difference between the nice lit
tie Sunday school boy and the nice little
Gamble Island boy would seem to be that
the former keeps cent for the missionary
plate and the latter plate for the mission
ary sent.
There is still another serious objection to
silver money. A man can't stand on his
head without the s'quarters" and 'shalves'
rolling out Of his pockets. Women can't
either, unless they have lids on their pock-
ets.-Nor. Herald.
a Wisconsin editor illustrates the pre-
vailing extravaganza of the people of the
present day by calling attention to the cost
ly baby carriages in use now, while, when
he was a baby, they hauled him around by
the hair of the head. -l.-,-
We notice sixty-five cent shirts advertis-
ed in our exchanges. We shall never in
suit our manhood by getting into as cheap
rag as that No rather let us continue
to deceive an unsuspecting public with a
paper collar skillfully pinned to the roof of
a close-buttoned vest.-Cineinnats Satur-
day Night.
The eantata form Is becoming popular.
Here is the latest:
Squedunk, out of thee
Oshkosh, thee-thee, New Jersee,
Springtime eries-It rains Away!
Summer cries-It's warm Away
Autumn cries-It's cool Away!
Winter cries-It SHOWS Away
sfSome oonfounded idiot has put that pen
where I can't find it p growled old Asperi-
ty the other day, as he rooted about the
desk. "Ah, um, yes I thought so," he
continued in lower key, as he hauled the
article from behind his ear $3.50"
A ''bumptious' traveller, overtaking an
old p,.aaS,r,ta,:- l---- -
upon his turn out. sA nice horse yours,
doctor: very valuable beast that-bat what
makes him wag his tail SO, doctor ?" "Why,
as you have asked me, will tell you. 1t
is for the same reason that your tongue
wags so-a sort of natural weakness.
On the road to Epson, a mustached
youth on the top Of drag, evidently am
bilious of being mistaken for an officer, thus
saluted 2 fat coaehman, who was grayely
driving his master and family: "Holloa,
you sir where's your shirt collar9 How
dare you come to Derby without SHIRT
collar?" Jehu growled forth, without lift
ing his eyes from his horses, TOW the dooee
could I have a shirt collar when your
mother has not sent home my last wash
inr 9,'