The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1876-01-20
Consideration of Others.

|
| Farmer.
Consideration of Others.
The Saturday Regteac, in an article on
this subject, says: Most people can be
quickened into consideration by selfin-
terest. To be treated with consideration
is the. privilege of wealth and greatness,
while it is the lot of some never to have
their existence recognized by regard for
their feelings, preferences, dislikes. 1t
does not do to complain, as some do, of
people riding rough-shod over their SEN
sibilities; ; but the thing sometimes happens
| through mere preoccupation with the
principal figure in a group. The consid-
crate temper ever bears in mind not only
the prominent members of company
but the supernumeraries. Nobody is in
significant enough to be left out of the
reckoning. This deliberation and sus-
pended action of thought and tongue is,
| it must be granted, much easier to some
persons than to others. The more pro-
nounced the character the more is con
sideration of this subtle kind difficult,
and thing requiring a constant effort;
| it is mild virtue, meritOriOus in proper
ton to the wit and fine impulse it has to
contend with. BY reformerS and ascctics
| it is discarded along with the other minor
domestic virtues. 1t is their business to
disturb every comfortable state of things.
Every founder of rule enfOrccs his rule
upon ali constitutions and tcmpcrS alike;
consideration would be weakness. But
also it is the too common fault OF family
| life to fail in cOnsidcratcness. 1t is sup
posed that natural affection dispenses with
it, as being quality so innate that moth
| ing can weaken it. And no doubt itdoes
pull through some very rough encount-
ers; but nothing can in the long run
stand disregard or forgetfulness of the
idiosyncracies which constitute self. The
families that hold on to one another through
| life have always considered one another IN
small things as well as great.
Want of tact is so like inconsidcrate-
ness in its effects that it may be regarded
as a branch of our subject. We cannot,
for example, say whether it is want Of tact
or want of consideration that sometimes
stumbles in the way Of the most critical
occasions of life-thosc touch -and-go
states of feeling between man and woman
which must be caught at the crisis when,
if a proposal is interrupted, declaration
strangled in the opening sentence, no after
opportunity is Of any avail. To judge
from novels and from some actual expert
ences blunderers of our present type have
great deal to answer for. Many Il
blightcd life owes its sorrows to an inop-
perfume intrusion, or blindness to the OBJ
vious duty of keeping out of the way, or
to Joke mistimed or some other obtuse-
ness of the moral sense. There is this
difference to be observed between want of
consideration and want of tact: that the
one can be cured by care, watchfulness,
regard for personal interestor an enlarged
benevolence, but the other never. Want
of tact is an incurable infirmity; nothing
can mend it, nothing can prevent its un-
seasonable exhibition. 1t is sense want
ing, whereas inconsiderateness is only Il
sense dulled from want of practice. In
the one case it is mere want Of thought,
in the other it is innocent persistency in
wrong saying and doing. The topics
which want of tact will think suitable,
the memories it will rake up, the services
it will obtrude, the times and seasons 1t
will violate, are in the very genius OF per-
versity. While these escapades pass Tor
inconsideratenes they irritate the immc-
diate sufferer, but in time they accumu-
late into a treasury of anecdotc and con-
stitute character The people, however,
who really suffer under a man who fla
granty wants tact, are not his Immediate
victims so much as those closely belong
ing to HIM, who sit by and listen and
wonder with tingling ears and flushed
checks; and, in fact, he often becomes
rather favorite with society. Deficiency
f of perception, Joined with good nature, is
always making demands for indulgence
and puts the pardoner in superior posi-
ton. We are always telling good stories
of such people behind their backs; their
savings and awkwardnesses are a stock
subject in their own circle and so promote
talk and good neighborhood.
Sidney Smith has given many OF the
traits which describe consideration and its
opposite in his definitions of "a nice per
, som, and =" hardness Of character" " A
, nice person." he says, "makes no diff
: culties, is never misplaced, is willing to
sit bodkin, and is never foolishly atfront-
. ed. A nice person helps you well at din
: ner and understands you. \ nice person
r respects all mems rights, never stops the
{ bottle, is never long and never wrong; al
, ways knows the day of the month, the
names of everybody at table, and never
gives pain to any human being. All the
ioys of life are communicated to nice peo-
pie; the hand of dying man is always
, held out to nice person." And now 1or
f, the reverse picture: GA hard person
. thinks he has done enough if he does not
, speak ill of your relations, your children ;
your country; and then, with the greatest
!, good humor and volubility and with a
I total inattention to your individual state
}, and position, gallops over thousand flne
6 feelings, and leaves in every step the mark
r of his hoofs upon your heart. The hard
q person crushes little sensibilities, violates
$ little proprieties and overlooks little dis
!, ordinations, all from wanting that fine
!. vision which heeds little things, that del,
icate touch which handles them, and tha'
fine sympathy which superior moral or
? ganization always bestows." In all this
he describes men as he finds them; we
!, have touched aon the causes which make
!, o,o ,orson .nicen to those about him,