Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-08-18
A%at.iH " u H II MO e.

sad-toned jigs around the Battery, a little
man entered a saloon in that vicinity, and
asked the bartender if he could leave some
tracts there. ~.
ga whole carload if you want to,' was
the prompt reply, and the little old man
placed package on beer table and softly
said +:
ssThere's no nobler cause than the cause
of the heather. We should all contribute
a small share of our worldly wealth to shed
the gospel light across the SEAS
A pair of boxing-gloves were softly re-
posing on table, and the little old man
felt of them and went on -
sit makes me sad to see such sinful
things lying around whom the cost of one
glove might save dozen souls in Africa"
Three our four Of the boys had dropped
in, and the saloon-keeper winked at them
and replied.
sDo you want to earn SIS for the heath
Ell ?' ..st.1
Verify, I do.'
''Put on the gloves with me and knock
me down, and I'll ante up cash enough to
convert a whole regiment Of African SIN
ners." -
'sThe cause is noble, the inducement,
great" unused the little old man as he
toyed with the gloves.
The boys encouraged him to 60 In, desir-
ing to see him knocked wrong end up, and
he finally got out of his oYer-coat with the
explanation: HaJ-A .l.ss
''It can't be sin to box for the cause of
the heathen." i--s
The saloonist meant to lift him over one
of the tables at the first blow, but the blow
was warded off very handsomely and then
the little old man sighed
"Ah-um The heather walk in wick
edness, and they have souls to be saved p
"Look out now," cried the saloonist as
he got in a left-hander.
'sVerily I will, and will give thee one
in return-for the heathen."
He struck staggering blow, and the
saloonist did not feel quite so enthusiastic
as on the start. He took the defensive,
and soon had all the work he could do.
'sThat s another for the ignorant minds
man.
There wasn't any ''science'' about him,
but he struck to kill, and his arms were
flying around like the spol1es of a wagon
wheel.
'sDon't crowd fellar,'' called out the
saloonist, as he was being driven back, and
he got mad and put in his hardest ticks.
He meant to smash the little old mans nose
as fiat as a window glass, but he could not
do it. He got two OF three fair hits, and
was beginning to regain his courage, when
the aged stranger sorrowfully remarked:
my friend. the heather call, and [ can
not tarry much longer. Take this one,
and may it broaden your views on ths.
heather question. Receive this one in the
spirit rendered, and you may be sure the
five dollars shall be beacon light as far
as it will &C. 4El 4J&tsf
He delivered two sledge-hammer blows
right and left, and the saloonist got TIN,
last on the ear as he lodged the first. H.
went over in beautiful style, and as h.
slowly regained his feet he felt in his YES:
pocket for the wager.
IF you'll come around here tonight and
do that again I'n double the money! he
growled as he paid the wager.
''My road points toward Bosting," soft
Iy replied the old man, '''and 1 cannot tar
ny. Let us part friendly, for I only boxed
thee for the heathen's sake, gave to thee,
thou hast given to the heather, and now
farewell ~ ftsf ,ert. .s
"a s'bumptious" traveller, overtaking an
old Presbyterian minister, whose nag was
much fatigued, quizzed the old gentleman
upon his ''turn out. '"A nice horse yours
doctor. very valuable beast that-but what
makes him wag his tail SO, doctor?" "Why
as you have asked me will tell you. It is
for the same reason that your tongue wacs
so-a sort of natural weakness"
Thus talks an old farmer about his bows: !
'From sixteen to twenty they knew more
than did /; at twenty-five they knew as |
much; at thirty they were willing to hear |
what had to say; at thirty-five they asked |
nay advice. and I think when they get to |
be forty they will acknowledge that the
old man does know something
'sCome, Pete,'' said merchant to a |
gentleman of the colored persuasion,
s.what'll you put that load of wood into |
the cellar for 20 "In de- fuss place, nv
name is Peter, Sir; secondly, Use a pro-
feshnal carpet-cleaner and white-washer
furdemo', / doesn't compete for SIGH Jobs.
Sab ~
II hear you are desperately counting the
chambermaid, " said man to his servant.
THAT is my business" was the reply,
"But hear, too, that she fsyvrs your at
tention.' '"That is her business - "But
do you know that shall instantly put YOU
outside the door, HThat. is your bust
ness.'' e ss.Eif es ft1
What is fame? A gentleman entered
barber shop when the following colloquyl
TOOK place: Barber-Any news? Gent Mr..
Stewart is dead, l hear. Barber-Which
MI. Stewart Gent-A. T. Stewart. Bar
Der. (thoughtfully)-Guess he don 'tshaye
here. "a a. - ,fa ,tes ss
.sBiddy, what's the mean temperature
OF Summer weather in Ireland? said a
cockney to young Irish lass. ssAIane.
Snslt There's nothing name about Ireland
bad luck. to yees for dirty spalspeenp'
llssDon't you think you have a prejudice
against the prisoner p asked a lawyer of
y witness. '.Very likely was the reply.
d have caught him stealing two or three
times"
Charles Lamb, when speaking of one of
his rides on horseback, remarked that sail
at once his horse stopped, but be kept