The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1876-08-04

Apolitc way of putting it
Troubled with a chronic indisposi-
ton toeXertion.
What species Of love is that
which is never reciprooatedE n
neuralgia affection.
Why is every teacher of music
necessarily a good teachers Be
cause he is: al sound instructor.
When young ladies hand you a
card nowadaySwith the cabalistic
letters Y. NJ. c. A. ii means you
may call again"
"If you wish to visit the tomb of
your country's father just Jump
into my carriage said a Wash
ington hackdriver to Dom Pedro.
Six newspaper in Kansas, and
fourteen in Indiana, support the
Peter Cooper or Greenback tick
ct for the Presidency.
Gov. Tilden, the great modern
RefOrmer, has just purchased Il
pair of blooded coach horses for
which he paid 10000.
Gen. James M. Tuttle, of Iowa,
a prominent Democrat, has re-
nounced Democracy and come out
for Hayes and Wheeler.
The Republican party declares
that the day laborer shall have
gold and silver as we'll as the
bond holder. Is not that justice
to all9
1t is given on the authority of a
New Orleans paper that there is
in that city a hog with his ears so
far back that he cannot hear him
self squal.
An Irishman having been told
that the price Of bread had been
lowered, exclaimed: '1'hat is the
first time I ever rejoiced at the
fall af my best friend!"
"Mike and is it yerself that can
be after tellin' me how they make
icecream?" In troth4 1 can. Don't
they bake them in cowld ovens,
to be sue!"
Irate Landlady WARMLY Gre
ally, sir, this accounts been a
running so long" lmpecunious
Ledger coolly) )-"Running, has it?
Then, perhaps, it would be as
we'll to let it rest a Bit"
"You must have lived here a
long time" said a travelling En-
glishman to an Oregon pioneer.
ayes sir, | have. Do you see that
Well, when | came
here that mountain was hole in
the ground
Sergeant Bates proposes to
make a water voyage of 10000
miles long. The Detroit Free Press
offers him $500 to make the first
mile of it under water, and the
Sergeant is constructing the nee
essary apparatus.
Customer-"How much for the
lilies of the valleyW Florist
Give shillings a bunch" Gus
tomer-"Too much" Florist
{ (blanly)-"Well, madam. Ifyou
will have the lilies Of the valley,
you must pay the vally Of the iii
ies."
The Nashville American, the
great (in its own estimation) or
gan Of Tennessee Democracy, in
sists that Carl Schurz supports
Hayes and Wheeler for pay.
Such a charge from such a source
can only excite contempt.
A minister travelling through
the West some years ago asked
an old lady on whom he called
what she thought of the doctrine
Of total depravity. "Oh," she re-
piled. 81 think it is a good doc
trine if the people would only act
up to it,"
A colored preacher, in transla-
ting to his hearers the sentence,
'The harvest is over, the season
is ended, and thy soul is not saw
ed," put it, Ode corn has been
dere amt any more work
and de debbil is still foolin' wild
dis community"
A classical error-The late Ia
mented Lempriere tells us that
10 was changed into a heifer, but
we have lately CLEANED from a
DOCTORS prescription the follow
ing piece Of information respect
ing the end Of that young person
Io-dide..of potassium"
eve 60 to press at two instead
Of four to day." said a Tennessee
paper, "in order to attend to some
business Of importance in the
country" At precisely five min
ntes before four, two high-toned
looking men with shotguns called
md wanted Ito know where the
editor was.
Seven Chinese officers have ar,
rived at Berlin a captain and six
Iieutenants-to serve for q term
in the Prussim army, as some ia
AHtnAya al 1nppnA IN