The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1876-03-25
WIT AND WISDOM.

she makes no crooked whisky. Detroit, of
course, is the city of the "straights.
1t is the wife who has the making Of
mans home, says an exchange. True, and
nov and then she makes his wig wan too.
| Mr. Colfax tells story Of President
| Lincoln that when he was attacked with
| small -pox, he said to his attendants, ''Send
up all the office seekers, and tell them I've
got something | can give each of them.
Speaking the truth is like writing fair,
and comes only by practice it is less a
matter Of will than Of habit and | doubt
| II any occasion can be trivial Which permits
the practice and formation Of such habit.
RuSkiH.
Across the the walnuts aid the wine :
Engaging Child-''Oh, Mr. jenkins, do
let ue see you drink r Mr. jenkins IA
''See me drink What for, my dear f.
Engaging Child-"Oh, mamma says you
drink like fish"
Alta collection made at charity fair a
| lady offered the plate to rich man who
Was we'll known for his stinginess II have
nothing, was the curt reply. Then take
something, sir, said the lady you know
| an, begging for the poor.
Lucy Stone, the Detroit Free Press says,
has left the stage forever, III order to pacify
her husband. Now this can hardly be.
Lucy Stones husband was so beautifully
pacitied during the first week of his mar
rage that he hasn't peeped since RocheS-
ttr Democrat.
Frank Beard, the artist while at dinner
recently was told of aman III Nassau street
with three hands How is that T. asked
| Beard. Hes got a little behind hand, F"
was the reply. you are most extraor-
binary man, was the reply, FOR you have
two heads you have a head Of your own,
and you've got ahead Of me.
A little darkey fell overheard from a
| packet at Nleksburg, and was rescued IN "a
| drowning condition, when he could east
~ have been pulled out by negro IN a
skiff. One Of the by ISLANDERS swore lusti-
| " at the owner Of the skitf for his lethargy,
when he replied, Dis yere is my last pa
per collar, and de boy was kicking water
like an alligator.
All who have seen senator Logan's pho
tograph will appreciate the story told the
!
Logan held three jacks-jack of hearts,
Jack Il diamonds and Jack Of clubs After
running the bets up to the limit and cali
ing down the hands, Logan found that his
| opponent had four tens, when, with true
military fertility of resource, Logan fur
lively took out of his pocket one Of his
own photographs and played it upon his
unsuspectIng opponent for the Jack of
| H., Ill !
sweeping the board.
A New Yorker, while journeying the
other day, was recognized by another citi-
zen doing business near the Bowery, he
being also away from home ON business,
and after a little preliminary conversation
tile first remarked
well, | hear that you had to make an
assignment"
Yes, dat is drew, replied the other.
| And your brother, over on Chatham
street.-the assigned. too, didn't he n
You see 1t was Just like this, said the
\ Bowery man. Il was owing a GOO: deal
[ makes over my stock to JACOB and Jacop
makes over his stock to me. VA III his
beesness and he does my beesness, and
dem vellers what was alter money doan get
some.
The WAY To SUCCESS. -rhe road up
hill may be hard, but at any rate it is
| open, and they who set stout hearts against
stiff hill shall climb il yet What was
hard to bear will be sweet to remember.
Ii young men would deny themselves. work
hard. live hard, and save in their early
days, they need not keep their noses to the
| grindstoue all their lives, as many do.
Let them be teetotalers for economy !
sake. Water is the strongest drink il
drives mills 1t is the drink Of lions and
horses and Samson never drank anything
else The beer wine and tobacco money
will soon build house and make their
fortune.
TYING kSoT.-A young fellow was
taking a slCigh-ride with pretty girl,
when he met a Methodist minister, who
was somewhat celebrated for tying matri-
monIal knots on short notice. He stopped
him and asked hurriediy :-
Can you tie a knot for me T.
Eyes, said brother b., II guess 50 ;
when do you want it done r.
well, right away" was the reply lis
II lawful, though, here in the highway r.
''Oh, yes, this is as good place as any
safe in the church itself"
well, then, | want knot tied in nay
| horses tail 70 keep 1t out Of the snow. F"
shouted the wicked wag, as he drove rap
idly away. fearing lest the minis ter in his
wrath should fall from grace
j