Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1876-06-10
How to go TO Sleep.
Mr.. Butterwick's Experiment Coun-
ting Sheep.

Mr.. Butterwick, of Roxboroush, had ut oil
sleeplessness one night, lately. and after vainly
irving 10 lose himself in sumber, he happened
TO remember that be once read in an almanac
that man could put himself to sleep by i'm
aeining that he saw fock Of sheep jumping
over & fence, and by counting them as they
Jumped. lie determined to try the expert
ment, and, closing his eyes, he faneied The
sheep jumping, and began to count lie had
reached his I4Oth sheep and was beginning to
doze OFF. when Mrs. DutierGick suddenly said
Joseph
80, what ~
a. believe .hat fellow hen of ours wants to
set"
90, don't bother me with such nonsense as
that now. Do keep quiet and go to sleep.
Then Butterwick started his sheep again,
and commenced to count lie cot up to l2O,
and was feeling as if he would drop off at any
moment, when, just as his i2lst sheep was
about to take that fence, one Of the twins be-
gan TO cry.
"IIang that child" he shouted at Mrs.
Butterwick why don't You tend to it and
pot II to sleep? Hush up, you little imp, or
III spank you !"
When Mrs. Butterwick had quieted il, But
terwck, although little nervous and excited,
concluded to try it again. Turning On the
imaginary mutton, lie began. Only sxiy-iour
sheep had slid over the fence when Butter
wick's mother-u-law knocked at tie door aud
asked il lie was awake When she learned
that he was she said she believed he had for
gotten to close the back shutters, and she
thought she heard burglars in the yard.
Then Butterwick arose in wrath and went
down TO see about it. lie ascertaned that the
shutters were closed as usual, and as he re.
turned to bed, be resolved that Mrs. Butter
wick's mother would leave the house for good
10 the morning or he would. However, he
thought he might as well give the almanac
plan another trial, and setting the sheep IN
motion lie began TO count. This time he
reached two hundred aud forty, and would
probably have got to sleep before tie three
hundredth sheep jumped, had not Mx's new
dog in the yard become suddenly bome-siet,
aud began to express bis feelings in a series of
prolonged aud exasperating howls.
Buttcrwick was indignant. Neglec;ing tic
sheep, lie leaped from bed and began to BON
bard Mx's new dog with boots, soap cups, and
every loose article lie could lay bis hands on.
He hit the animal at last with plaster bust
of Daniel Webster, and induced the dog to re-
treat to the stable aud think about home in
silence.
II seemed almost ridiculous to resume those
sheep again, but he determined to give the al
manac man one more chance, and so as they
began to jump the fence hc began 10 count.
and after seeing the eighty-second sheep safely
over, he was gliding gently into the land OF
dreams when Mrs Butterwck rolled ont Of
+ bed and fell on the floor with such violence
( that she walked the twins aud started them
crying, while Butterwick's s mothor-in-law camo
down stairs, four steps at a time, to ask If they
felt that earthquake
The situation was too awful for words
Bu,terwick regarded it for a minute with
speechless indignation, and then seizing pill
low be went over to the sofa 10 the back sit
ting room, and lay down on the lounge.
lie fell asleep in ten minutes without the
assistance Of the almanac, but he d,eamed all
night that lie was being buited around the
equator by COtswold ram, and be woke in
the morning with a terrible headache and
conviction that sheep are good enough for wool