Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-11-10
Anecdotes Of Doctors.

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Anecdotes of Doctors.
Or. Crawford, a Baltimore physician, had
a troublesome patient, a man who had
taken it into his head that he was slowly
dying of liver complaint, when he had no.
thing at all the matter with him, barring
the delusion. The doctor sent him travel
ing, and he soon forgot his disease alto
gether hut, unfortunately, he had no
sooner returned home IN the best Of health
than news came Of the death of his twins
brother, of schirrous liver. He was there
upon seized with the fancy that he, too,
was dead, like his brother of liver COM
plant Dr.. Crawford was sent for, and
after hearing the story, merely remarked
ooh, yes, he is dead, sure enough, and
probably his liver was the death OF him, as
he.expected it would be. However, [ will
soon ascertain that by opening the body
before putrefaction sets in. Bring me
carving knife" The knife was soon in the
doctors hands, and he stepped toward the
hypochondriac, but before ne could COM
mence his post-mortem examination, the
dead-alive jumped up, shouting Murder ~
and dashed out of the room, and out Of
the house, and made across the country
and ran till he ran himself out, and fell
from exhaustion. Finding nobody follow
ed him, he returned to the house, and
though he lived a score of years longer, he
was never heard to complain of his liver
again.
There is another anecdote of the same
kind. DR.. Cabarus Was called in by the
friends of IL French duchess who had con-
WINGED herself that she had swallowed a
frog, which was revenging itself by Destroy
ing her health. She had consulted several
eminent men, but they only tried to rea-
son her out of her hallucination. Cabarus
with greater wisdom, gravely felt the pulse
of the poor lady, listened patiently to her
details, and then gratified her with: ''The
frog is there, madam, but [ will remove
it," Proceeding to the nearest shop where
such thing was procurable, the doctor
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his patient. Administering an innocent
emetic, as soon as it operated the doctor
took an opportunity of slipping his frog
into the basin provided for the occasion.
Believing she beheld her tormentor the
duchess gave vent to her gratitude, but
suddenly stopped, turned very pale, and
exclaimed: "Oh, doctor, the frog has left
some little ones behind her u Not at all
put out by this new freak of diseased
fancy, Cabarus replied, ''We shall see."
Then taking the frog in his hand, he scru-
tinted it for moment before uttering, in
assuring tones: MADAM that is impossi-
BILE; the frog is q male" The duchess
was satisfied; and the young physician
from that day had no lack of fashionable
patronage.
A number OF years ago an eccentric
Edinburgh surgeon, Of high repute, popu-
larly known as Lang Sandy Wood, once
had d lady patient who had q large tumor
in her throat, which refuses to yield to
medical devices. The Scottish surgeon
was at his wits end when a lucky inspira-
ton saved his being compelled to own he
was beaten, While conversing with the
sufferer he stirred the fire and left The pc
ker there, and after d bit asked his patient
to open her mouth as widely as possible.
Directly she obeyed orders DR.. Wood seized
the red~hot poker and rushed at the won
der-stricken lady DIS if he proposed thrust
ing his strange surgical instrument down
her throat. A shrill scream rang through
the room, the tumor broke, and the fright
ened lady found herself out Of danger.
A good story is told Of al old shoemaker.
He was charged with practicing unlawful
arts DIS all ague-charmer. II cure people,,
said he, "by pretending to do it; people be-
leve can cure the ague, and when they
come to me L say l Can cure them. Bidding
them wait till my return, I go into my
garden, cut twig of some tree, make nine
notches in it and bury it in the garden;
then I tell them l have buried the ague
with it, and they have such confidence in
me that the ague leaves them"