The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-09-15
Seeking Political Information.

Miss Dimity knows all about it now. She
languished a long time in ignorance, and
felt her situation keenly, but at last she is
wiser and sadder. She always wanted to
talk politics and belong to some party but
how could she, when she did not even
know the difference between Democrat
and Republican She looked anxiously
through all the papers to gain some infor-
nation OH the subject, but the only plain
statements she found were that the Demo
Gratis are all liars and swindlers, and the
Republicans all thieves and scoundreIs.
Finally she asked her papa about it, and
he looked over his spectacles and said, "a
Democrat, my dear child, is-by the
way, you left Jumps in the heels of my
stockings when you dalned them last week.
Girls nowe lays are good for nothing"
Then she asked her big brother, and he
said, "That's easy ask me harder one.
A Democrat supports the government as
long as the government will support him,
and a Republican let's no guilty man escape
until he has crammed all of his pockets
aud the crown of his hat.''
She next asked her sweetheart, but he
turned pale, and falling back on his chair
famed himself furiously while he gasped,
" Emmiline, my love, hope you are not
getting strong minded. could not think
of marrying a woman who knows more
than THAN other women"
Next she asked wise and leal ned man,
and he looked poInpously at her and said
"Too deep, my dear, too deep; difference
in ath the platforms very complicated subject;
fact, it's SO deep that don't exactly un-
der-ah, believe you could understand it. !"
Then she went to an editor. They al
ways know everything. 1t is popularity
of the profession. They can get up
theory or explanation of or remedy for
anything inside of foi sy-five seconds. She
asked hlm, with suffused eyes, if he would
please tell her the difference between
Democrat and Republican. He looked
little startled at first, stuck his pen into
the glue-pot, tumbled pitcher of ice-water
over pile of exchanges, jerked up his
collar and was "himself again." He said,
GA Republican has an Office, and wants to
keep it. He thinks rag-money good, hard
money better, but either kind good enough.
He thinks the country needs reform. Sala-
ries are too low, and the people too inquis-
tive. lie cannot buy $4,000 team of
horses on a salary of $1,000 a year, but
some one must ask impertinent questions.
His country is dear to him, but he is dearer
to his country. A Democrat has no office
and wants one. He scorns to ask whether
the money is hard or soft he only gasps
show much He thinks the country
needs reform. He wants change in office
and change in his pockets. He holds his
country's honor above price, and sells his
own to the highest bidder. He" but
Miss Dimity put her hands over her ears
and cried, Please tell me the name OF the
| other partv to which honest men and pa
triots belong"
Then that editor laughed an inhuman
laugh, and said, "Long ago they took
lantern when they wanted to find an honest
man; you had better borrow half dozen
headlights and garden rake and go and
look for that party. However, if you are
true patriot you will work for the Republic
cans, for they all have cottages at Long
Branch and villas in Washington and Paris,
and are pretty well supplied with funds
| hut the Democrats have been out loLs
time, their money is all gone and thei
villas are mortgaged. It Will be q dreadful
| strain on the Treasury and"
Miss Dimity did not wait for more. Ant
! now when any one talks politics in he
presence she listens with benign sadnes
i that is born of superior wisdom.