, 1876-02-20

Caleb will never see another day OF indo,s@aaass @as
in Which he will be moro sorry for hi; ~.
than be did the hour ~hen his wife learned th.s
She weighed two hundred ana forty odd pound,
| -Lesoislo" (Ae.) Journal. NS''
| MISCELLANEOUS NOTES.
Grace before meas-A handsome woman =,
market.
Capital misunderstanding On tae neck n
| q pretty gitl.
The wife Of the Marquis o: Butts WAS rccant,,
delivered OF tvins-a pair OF Butes, as it uere
| Motto for tha Girl Of tho Period: Ksain.
nuUa retrorsuna-Don't ete2 On my pull-back.
The following dialogue was overheard The
other day: He; 'Ataminta, je radore !" shc.
ssShut It yourse1f!"
To us men, leap year balls are highly enioyaba
for it is 80 nice to '-shaEe our foot" vhils th,
ladies ~ foot the shake"
Almost q nude depa.ture-The San Antonio
Herald mentions Miss KITTY Fewclothes" =,
among the departures by tho kIngsbu1
stage"
She asked him If her new dress vasut as sress
as sprin,. roae, and tEo n:ute ea.d it was eYsa
to the minor attraction Of still haylug q lit.Is
dua GU it.,
ceeds from the stomach, aud tlla. tho bear. has
nothing to do with it. He says ill.,, cSsn-beet
and meaty potatoes beset love.
Every day or two no come a;:u4s 4 rule for
computing the interest on mo1ts~ but nesec fad
Que for compuslng the iutescs. ons woman takes
Ii the ':u: OF anothe. wounas poionalse.
A Buffalo man dreamed :ha. be was goiug o7er
the Falls. and he had his wife h7 tha throat xhsn
he woae up. Next night sha had dream, sat
hro1- k,;1 ,ha ,nlr nh I'd
Upon tho Geath OF Danbury woman, who
Was d chronic borrower, an rufoeliug naghbor
observed: .*She wou't be buried there ueex
before she'll be calling OIL tho utuor tenants 10,
their flowers"
4 Hartford girl treating 8 too frcqsut gentle
man caller rather cool,y drew from him tbs IT,
mark - I fear yon are NOT dealing squarai3
ritL Ene?" ''Thns's because you mrs round "a
often" was tie qulss reply. =.
The young ladies of Drainerd are not beh,ndia
recognizing theft rights under the tenD year act
Two Of cur bsiies have applied to us, "a Clerk Of
the Court, for marra,e-1icenzes, and obtained
them.-Bra.nerd 1a.) Tribune,
It is bad sign to $50 man who h.s beea
married but twelve months gloomily pactrg his
chamber, with his hands acr.ous!y thrust into
his coat-sail pockets, and mu.te:iug 10 himself.
- The wor1u ~ too much governed"
llotiero was asked the reasoa Tu-, in certain
countries, the klug may ASSUME the crown at II
years OF age, and cannot marry befoio Is ut
49," answered Moliere, ..because it is moro d1ti,
cult to rule wife than Kingdom"
4 young LADY who teaches one of tho pnbli,
schools in lows Sceps her pupils in trim bv snct
talk Us thus Now, Bob, il you don't qlii =
pulling Salts lair, I'll snatch ron bald headed!
Suse, quit your Whispering, Or LII put a tin Ell
On you That's the sort Of heir-pia am"
4 little NerIdon (Cs-) girl, whose father re-
Gently died, being dlspieased that her mother
had fe].ea in love With aao.her man applied to
stopped By the po!ica aul when uf1rmed 1Ast
they couldn't CO eoy hing about Il, lois shs Of
fee cr;inS-
Mr.. Punch, being asked bis opinion Of tho
present ladies' dress, replied II highly sp-
prove tho krchent fashion, compreheujlng asst
dces the highest gIace5 OF tho two most dir
tinguisheu models Of female beauty, having in
front the Venus de Hedici, behind the Venus d
uo:tentor!"
Probably none Of the yotaries OF St. VsIen-
tlna rzcelsed On the 18th inst. 50 uo,qua a1d
.ostl. memcuto as yosuS lady Of Troy dI
asst year.-au OK heart pierced with golden
,keTers set With pEeclo1s stones. Tho heart w7a
'oon eaten up b; the family w.tca dog. wals
the darts wero transferred to the lady's hair.
Ono Of the novelties Of new hotel in Jack.
'onrila Fla, is crystal chandelier in tba Lridal
tAaL1teA- IoACu4Ct5 u loiLOu IL Is tleuht4f ~
he same moment ont springs I little Capld who
'tF7kes With hammer chine Of bells, which
'oal out in tie sweetest melody, -.Rtst in this
,osom. y ''Let me kiss him for mis- mother" etc.
One DAY last week q young man in ne!shbor-
pg town Tas invited with his sweetheart to A.
end party, but unfortunately w~s not in pos
ession OF enough money to def1ay expenses.
70 provide it he Filled u neighoor's dog. Skinned
t., mud sold the hide to tan-ya:u, realizing
nough to supply his need.-lfarssciIe (Hy.)
Bulletin
motherly n-Nanauvecing mamma faux
oCs that her daughters CHIEF attraction should
lot escape the notca OF the very eligible young
nan who is taking 1e---.he daIghtor-down to
upper): .'Aaria hcria. Mar.a!" ..Yee,
Gamma alaneuvering mamma Tin loud
'llisper): Take your eyefashes QUE OF sansle.
aring! !"-Punch-
That WAS shrewd girl, and not devoid Of
euse either, who remarked, when other girs
ere making fun Of her short skirts. and a.
sctcd to be much shocked at the exhibition
hereof at 4 party: If you'd only pull up
our dresses about your neck, where they ough,
, be, they'd be as short as miae!" She maa
ot troubled any more
c said, as he gzzed In her beautiful facc,
'' Dear Molly, don't say 1ts too thin,
or swear that lows you man n=yer 1oved,n.
says she, = Billy. please wtpo OF your chin"
But Molly, my darling, hear me out now, pray
- Come, Billy, do give Us rest"
will not, dear Nelly, till you promise mo that"
" Oh, Billy, just pull down your vcstl"
s0NRETs.I