Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-10-04
VARIETY AND HUMoR.


The eastern shore Of MARYLAND is
,aid to be alive with partridges.
There's no such word as fail il
not "can't saying not much.
jackson. Fla, will not allow Sa.
vannah freight to come into the city,
on account of the yellow fever.
Since the advent of the panic the
consumption of coffee has fallen off.
This is because of the difficulty OF max
ing il settle.
Unhealthy rs Washington Is as a
city, the number of men who are will
| ing to make the sacrifice of going there
remains undiminished.
People who eat oysters should
know that an oyster swells for thirty
] seconds after ii commences 10 boil, and
then it begins to shrink.
"A thrifty young Teuton was asked
II he should attend the races. 81 waits
dill Tuesday" said he, "dil der free
for ALL den | bays nottings.'
The man who whips IN a prize
| fight is not always the fellow who wins
the day. 1t all depends upon which
! pugilist the majority of the crowd has
/ bet the most money ON.
Philadelphia furniture-dealers send
CONFIDENTIAL letters to clergymen of
the city, asking to be put upon the
! track OF persons who are soon to be
married, or have been recently.
-" Plat a blessing it is" says a
Woodworking Chicago Emeralder,
"that night niyer comes on til late in
the day when u man is tired and can't
| work any more, at all, at all.
"A Southern professor CALAMITY re-
| marks OF woman She will be fitted
for the rough and thorny walk of the
masculine professions when she has
got Il rough beard, a brazen front, and
hard skin, but not sooner"
-. That's all right" remarked the
grocer, reassuringly, rs he chased the
| piece of cheese back into the custom.
/ er's basket, whence it was endeavoring
to escape. YES" replied The GUS
toner, obviously, Il know it must be,
for mite is right"
1t occurs to the Burlington Hdaok-
| Eye to suggest for the benefit of
suffering empire that Turkey uses SO
much sultan this year we should Think
it would he cheaper for her to use the
canned article instead of ordering
fresh one twice a week.
-" The tendency of the moisture
! generated from ocean surf, says Miss
| FullbrainS, Of Boston, ut SWampscott,
| " is to remove from my dresses OF mus
| lin material the sttfening substance
inserted in it by the laundress. What
she wanted TO say was that the salt AIR
plays the deuce with starched dresses
An inquisitive young man visited
= State Prison in New York, and,
among his questions, asked IA girl the
cause Of her being in such IA place.
Her answer was that she "stole q
watermill, and went back after the
stream that turned the mill. and wu
arrested" The young man lett imms
lately. M .fIU
The suit of Mrs. Mary A. Grow
against the Central Baptist Church of
Syracuse, has been decided by the re-
| ferees in favor of the defendants. BY
the giving away of truss in the
building a number of persons were
killed, and among them Mrs. Crows
/
The referees held that inasmuch us
the trustees of the church employed a
competent architect, and gave him
unlimited power as to materials and
manner Of construction, they were not
liable.
The following protest has been
filed in the New Orleans Custom
House by the Belcher Sugar Refining
Company, of st. Louis, Mo-. 1--WE
hereby protest against the assessment
and payment Of duty on the cargo of
sugar, on the ground that by reason OF
q recent enactment of Congress Gang
IA admitting sugars free of duty from
the Hawaiian Islands into the port Of
san Francisco, Cal. the same product
from the Island Of Cuba is, under cx-
listing treaty stipulations with spain,
entitled to free entry vt the port OF
New Orleans. And, also, on the
ground that, under section nine of the
first article Of the Constitution Of the
United States. this port is entitled to
all the advantages and benefits given
by any regulation Of commerce or
revenue to San Francisco or any other
port of the United states"
An exchange says: why will
girls run away 10 get married = We
give it mp, answers the Louisville
COuria-JoHHdi But we know a lot
here that would he glad enough to stay
at home. or jump nj the chance TO
walk off and get married. The boys
amt alosnd asking hem like they did /;
takes more money to run one of them
nowadays than il does to run a steam
boat All, girls, it's your own fault
swap off your silks and satinS for
lawns and calicoes; shut up the piano