St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-04-07
Squibs.

ADVICE to people about to 90 to the
Black hills-"D0nt."
A certain poultry fancier named his
best hen ''Macdutf," because he said he
wanted her to "lay on"
Mr.. blackboard has been arrested i'm
North Carolina for not paying his debts.
Why don't his creditors take some chalk
and draw on himP
The public looks upon an editors
labors rs the Indian did upon the mau
that was cutting hay. He finally gave
III his opinion that it was ''easy to see
the white man now"
The New Bedford Mercury SAWS that
formerly when IA man turned up missing
the neIghbOring ponds were dragged
now-a days the first steps are to ex-
anime his bank accounts.
do yOu pose little girls have to eat
oat-meal in heaven, mamma 7" asked u
Sunny-haired little lady of six, as she
was worrying down her morning saucer
full, her eye resting longingly. OH
steaming pile of buckwheats the while.
Paldy's description of fiddle cannot
he beaten; at is the shape of tur-
key, and the size of il goose He turn
ed it over on its belly and rubbed its
back with a >tick, and och, by St. Pat
rick, how it did squae."
When Il MiSsourian had his head
caved in in Il saloon row the doctor
blew III his ear until the dent disap-
pcared and the head WAS plump and
r"nnd again. The patient complained
of roaring in his ear.
y little girl in the street was CRYING
a~ though her heart would break
"What> the matter, Sissy p WAS asked.
"Brothcr Dick stole my doll and gave
it to Lizzie King" she said land she
don't need any doll. cause brother Dick
and her are going to get married and
run away and start II circus" She tod
died on. with the big tears running
down her cheeks.
When General Sheridan first saw that
baby he was delighted almost to hys-
tcrics. Suddenly, however, he started,
turned pale. and after moment put
his face to the wall aud wept. Whats
the matter. Sir p said the nurse with
respectful establishment. woman :"
said the General in agonizing tones,
''are YOU blind Do You not see she's
bald p
All bUi Ill informed DTlIon
went down to visit Mount Vernon, not
long since. and after making inquiries,
and noting down the answers, he said
to the superintendent "Ah, may |
ha>k you if General Washington was in
the harny ?" He was, sir" replied
the superintendent. And on which
side. Union or rebel ?" Rebel, sir"
was the reply, which WAS carefully
uoted down.
\ woman was arrested in Detroit for
striking another who made faces at her
| The Judge said, well, Miss Prim, it
WAS your duty to pass right on without
seeming to notice her. even if she had
stood on the front steps and called YOU
Il strawberry blonde. or yelled out that
your pullback dress didn't pull for
shucks. There's my clerk over there
Almost every day us he passes along
the street, some one calls out Shoot
that necktie y or See those little cane =
but he never lets on to hear. He knows
his duty. and be knows what law is"
y few evenings ago Sam was modest
| ~ performing his duties at the general
delivery of the post office, at Fort Plain,
| when Il lively little girl appeared and
! inquired for Il letter for her sister
| There WAS none and she turned to 90,
but after traveIsing half the distance to
the door an idea struck her. Return
Ing To the delivery window, she raised
herself on her toes, poked her face close
mp to Sans and said in IA voice loud
enough to be heard four blocks away {:
you'd better write Sarah Il letter. She
wants one awful bad"
The testimony of Mr.. Moses Kimball
that he transferred his stock to his wife
for the purpose of qualifying himself to
he Il state director of the Boston and
Albany railroad. reminds us of "A story
that Artemus Ward used to tell about
some of the people of his native town.
Half Il dozen hardy yenmrn were sitting
around Il stove in the country store,
chewing tobacco and swapping gossip.
"Ephe, said one of them to another,
'have yeou got that old gay mare
meow p "No,' said Ephe, Il sold her
some time ago" did you7 Heow
much did yeou git for herr" "A hun
dred dollars" "Sheow. did yeou
though Why, she was blind, warn't
she =" "Ycs, blind rs IL bat" "Well,
You sold her well. Who on airth did
y0u sell her to ?" "Sold her to mother V
; replied Ephe. Boston Herald