The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-05-10

- - {f<,5 F5E II FOL
''Pray for mep' No formal epitaph was
ever so touching as this simple Inscription,
common in French and Catholic cemeteries.
~s- -
How 1t Came Out.
From the Phiade,ph,. Bulletin 70. IL
Mr.. Peters, who lives in suburban
village, had the toothache some time
ago, and he suffered so much that at
last he resolved to have the trouble
some tooth out. He had heard that a
tooth could be removed suddenly and
without much pain by tying a string
around it, fixing the string to a bullet,
and firing the bullet from a gun. So
he got some string and fastened it to
the tooth, and to a ball, rammed the
latter into gun, and aimed the gun
out of the window. Then he began to
feel nervous about it, and he cooked
and unlocked the gun about twenty
times, as his mind changed in regard
to the operation. The last time the
gun was cooked he resolved not to
take the tooth out in that way and he
began to let the hammer down pre-
paritory to cutting the string. Just
then the hammer slipped and the next
minute Mr.. Peters tooth was flying
through the air at the rate of fifty
miles a minute, and he was rolling
over on the floor bowling and splitting
blood. ! After Mrs. Peters had pick
ed him up, and given him water with
which to wash out his mouth. he went
down to the front window. While he
was sitting there thinking that may
be it was all tor the best, he saw some
men coming by carrying body on a
shutter. He asked what was the mat
ter, and Aleck Jones told him that Bill
Dingus had been murdered by some
body.
Mr.. Peters thought he would put on
his hat and go down to the Coroner's
office and see what the tragedy was.
When he got there Mr. Dignus had re-
~vived somewhat, and he told his story
to the Coroner. He was trimming Il
tree in Delvin's garden, when he sud-
denly heard the explosion of 4 gun,
and the next minute bullet struck
him in the thigh, and he fell to the
ground. He said he couldn't imagine
who did it. Then the Doctor exar1s
ined the wound and found a string
hanging from it, and large bullet sus-
pended upon the string. When he
pulled the string it wouldn't ''give''
any, and he said it must be tied to
some other missile still in the flesh.
He, said it was the most extraord binary
case on record. The medical books
reported nothing of the kind. ~,
Then the Doctor gave Mr.. Dingus
chloroform and proceeded to cut into
him with knife to find the other
end Of that string, and while he was at
work, Mr.. Peters began to feel sick at
his stomach and to experience desire
to go home. At last the Doctor cut deep
enough, and giving the string a jerk,
out come molar tooth that looked us
if it might have been aching. Then
the doctor said the case was more ex-
traordianry than he thought it was;
He said that tooth couldn't have been
fred from q gun because it would
have tleen broken to pieces it couldn t
have been swallowed by Dingus, and
then broken through aid buried in his
thigh, for then how could the string
and ball be accounted for?
''The Occurrance is tolerably unac-
countable upon any reasonable the.
>Ory,' said the Doctor, land | d.. not
know what to believe, unless we are
to conceive that the tooth and the ball
were really meteoric stones that have
assumed these remarkable shapes, and
been shot down upon the earth with
such force as to penetrate Mr.. Di4gus'
leg, and this is so very improbable
that we can hardly accept it, unless it
is impossible to find any other. Halo!
What's the matter with. you, Peters
Your mouth and shirt are all stained
with blood!''
sob, nothing" said Peters forget.
ting himself. II just lost tooth,
''You lost a-who pulled it p asked
the Doctor. y
"Gentlemen, said Mr.. Peters, "the
fact is, I shot it out with my gum l..
Then they put Peters under bail for
attempted assassination, and @Dingus
said that as soon as, he got well he
would bang Peters with club. When
the crowd had gone the Coroner said
to Peters:
.'You're mean, chuckle- headed sort
ola man, now, amt you?" q wv
''Well, Mr. Maginn,' replied Peters,
81 didn't know Mr.. Dingus was there
and the gun went off accidentally, any.
way, ,,..y - - =. ~
':Ohsit isn't that, said the Coroner
cit isn't that. l don't mind your
shooting him but why in thunde,
didn't You kill him while you were at
it, and give me chance! You want
to see me starve, don't you? 1 wish
you'd a buried the tooth in his lung