Smyrna times., 1876-05-24
mise eII0n e OWS.
A Lawsuit, and How it Was Ended.

He was well-to-do in the world, if owning q
fine farm and being plaintiff in lawsuit is
any criterian. Aside from Mr.. Popkin's
misfortune in being bachelor, he had one
fault-a general aversion to female society, |
and particular aversion to Miss Hopkins, |
the defendant in the above-named lawsuit. |
Now be it known that though Miss Sallie's
name was put down in the list of o. Ms
(Old Maids) she was the roundest cosiest,
dimpled-cheeked spinster that ever lived
in Lincoln. She had the softest brown
eyes, with trick of looking down and
peeping under the lashes perfectly bewilder-
ing, and her hair waved and shown in the
sunlight in such manner that suscepti-
BILE lady, like you and I, would have felt an
irresistible desire to have sole ownership
of the smut brown locks"
But however fascinating Miss Sallie was
to the sex in general, as l have said,
between her and Popkins there was a
deadly feud; and the cause of all the
trouble was meadow, spreading far wide
and unconscious between Miss Sallie's and
Mr.. Popkin's farm.
Now the truth of the matter was this:
The meadow justly belonged to Mr.. Pop
kins, but instead of going to Miss Sallie
and frankly stating the case, he must serve
a process of law. Miss Sallie flew all to
pieces, and declared she would maintain
her rights at any cost.
l am confident, from the manner in
which the whole thing ended, that had
Mr.. Popkins gone to her himself, she would
have relinquished it gracefully, but a woman
has mortal horror of being forced to do
anything. Tie thread around the necks,
feed them with sugar plums, and you can
lead them to the "jumpingof:plaee;" go
to driving them, and for obstinacy they will
beat Mark Twain's mule in the Holy Land
all to pieces.
When Miss Sallie met Mr.. Popkins on
the street, her nose was decidedly Gre.
trousse," and Mr.. Popkins looked like an
automaton Cardiff giant The neighbors
were forced to take part in the case, fol
when invitations were issued for the regular
tea-parties, those who invited Mr.. Popkin:
were compelled to omit Miss Sallie, anC
viceversa.
In the meantime the lawsuit "draggeC
its slow length along" from session to ses
sion, from term to term, until Popkins VS.
Hopkins was as familiar as A, B, c. Blu
fate had taken in hand the destiny of thes
two obstinate individuals, and 500 brough
matters to a most satisfactory conclusion
although the unconscious mediator wa
rather burlesque on the high tragedy
daily enacted.
There lived close to these belligerents
good-natured old man, nearly as deaf as
post, who had the greatest faculty
laundering on unfortunate facts of an
individual known either in ancient {
modern history.
He never heard anything correctly, an
it was an utter impossibility to try and e
plain; you would certainly find yourse
Aoundering about in slough of despair.
Miss SalIie and Mr.. Popkins receive
notice that their case would come up for
final hearing in Harrow, on the Tuesday
next week. Miss Sallie concluded to tai
the stage; Uncle Ben Dropper, our dc
friend, had business little distance on t
road, and he would take the stage, to
and Mr.. Popkins' saddle-horse fell sick j.
as he was needed, and there being no+ir
for any other arrangements, SO he mi
take the same conveyance.
Miss Sallie came floating to the gate wi
white ribbons and bows and dainty dire
sufficient to bewilder man with sto
heart as the Sphinx, and saw, approa'
ing from the opposite side, her foe, in
maculate broadcloth and shirt front.
moment the color rushed to her chee
and she had half resolved to 60 back;
to be outdone by a man, and he Popkl
was not to be thought Of. So she stepI
into the coach with the air OF sixteen Qu'
Victorias, elevated her head until it mi
an acute angle with her nose, and beca
sublimely unconscious of any ones
sence. Mr.. Popkins seated himself
though he had swallowed whole found
and his pockets full of eggs for dess
Just then came Uncle Ben, putting
blowing, utterly unconscious Of the oa
of the impatient Jehu.
Good-morning, Miss Sallie," said
carefully seating himself beside her.
"Good-morning, Mr.. Popkins. WI
might you be going, and what fort"
"To Harrow" said Mr.. Popkins, in
most polite manner, answering the
question and ignoring the last.
"Do tellr' and the round face ia
glowed with placid surpise. Going
maryl Well told Hester last night
that was the best way TO settle the
after ALL There amt more capable
anywhere than Sallie, and I'm glad yo
found It out. And Mr.. Popkins is won
fully clever" turning 10 Sallie; "instes
there being two farms and a lawsuit, t
need only be one Law bless mel'' rub
his hands with increased satisfaction, q
amt tiptop arrangement
Mr.. Popkins clenched his throai