The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-09-12
Serse and nnpse,,se.

The mother of Lieutenant Sturgis,
who fell with General Custer in the
Sioux massacre, has become insane
from grief. He was her only son.
Bishop Coxe's daughter, who was
married last week in Buffalo, received
as. a wedding present from her husband
81, 900, 900 in bonds. I'm ,D,ra
Mrs. Partington concuts in Bishop
Whipple's pacific policy toward the In
dians. She says she'd drive 'em right
into it and drown 'em all.
Nothing pleases fly so much as to
be taken for a, huckleber-y, and If he
can be baked in a cake and pass himself
of upon the unwary as q currant, hel
dies without regret.
A man carried load of watermelons
to Hampton, Georgia, last week. and
not being offered fair price for them,
he hunted up every widow in town and
divided the melons among them.
"Peter, don't you enjoy the astrono
mical phenomena these evenings7" said
q well.to.do citizen to his colored SER
want the other evening "Clare to
goodness, 1 never tried 'em; mushmel-
on is my favorite fruit FTP Il
The newest collar is called the "Safe-
tty." 1t is so named from the fact that
it is high enough for man who wears
one to crawl up behind it and hide when
his wife steps in st the Office to inquire
whether he mailed her letters.
Grounds of Argument.-Edith II
say, Regy, how is it that one Of our
cows is brown and the other white ?"
Reginald: "Why. you silly, any one
knows that. It's the white COW that
gives the milk and the brown cow the
coffee fs'0'eE, 2 dTrFz&
The Whitehall Time asks: "It Neces
sity is the. mother of invention, will
some sharp paragraphist please inform
us who the father is ?" Why, the hus-
band Of Mrs. Necessity, Of course
Isn't this APPARENT enough 7-Norris.
to,cn Herald. M sc,r9.-9aatt
| A Chicopee man had cat which he
cared no longer to possess He took
the animal into the garden, struck it
nine times on the head with hammer,
g I'd, as it still moved, he boxed it ears
with spade, and then buried it. Next
mo ming that cat, walked serenely into
breakfast, willing to forget the past. -.
( 2oyno.1ob Meme tFvg~r iIa. .fsf.i i.tyss
An American backwoods minister,
having alluded to an anchor in his dis
course, described its use in the follow
ing lucid manner: San anchor is q large
iron instrument that sailors carry to sea
with them, aud when storm arises they
take it on shore and fasten it to tree,
and that holds the ship till the storm
blows over. -
Tto other day a minister offered
prayer at the laying of a cornerstone.
A brisk young reporter hustled up and
said; Il wish you would give me the
manuscript of that prayer" 81 never
Wfite out my prayers said the preach
er. 'Well,' said the reporter, 4 couldn't
hear word you said,' II wasn't pray
ing to you," quickly responded the par;
son.
Considerable st5-ca.led Slang is classic
Escaped with the skin Of my teeth is
from job. "He is brick" is from Plu
tarch. The historian tells Of king of
Sparta who boasted that his army was
tde only wall of the city-"and every
man is brick" We call fair and
honest man ga square man." but the
Greeks de2cribed. the same person as
1etSogoaos ia four-cornered mar" y
Graphic. rssa aace
The first seeds of matrimonial discord
are usually sown. Immediately after go
ing to housekeeping. It's not because
the tender wave OF har mony no longer
pulls Atas from soul TO soul. 1t is be;
cause she insists on his doing the mar
keting Immediately after breakfast, Oh
full stomach, when he doesn't care
whether he has canvass back duck or
a boiled, dish-rag for the next mesl.-Y
Norwich Bulletin.
An innocent little paragraph started
recently, saying that "Boston uses 5000
dozens of bottled lager a week" 1t
Travelled and grew so that when the
Bulletin. got round to it, and began
drawing from it lesson for all of US,
it read thus: esBoston consumes 10000
dozens bottled lager per day, and New
York as many thousand kegs" This
was at the rate of quart day for ey-
cry men, woman and child in the city.
The marriage at Paris of Count de
Fersant with Mile Marie Poirson is an.
nounced Tue bridee roctn was SUBJ
lieutenant of artillery during the last
war, and had both his legs csrried off at
Sedan by cannon bali. Tie young
people were atfianced in their infancy,
and the lady insisted p,,Sss ls.eeping her
word. She is the daughter of very
wealthy ship owner, whilst her husband
has only his cross of the Legion Of
HONOR asesg q s als}R!Jpg1
Patient to his doctor-.And it is re.
ally true that shall recoverf'' "Infal-
lihly," answers the man of medicine,
taking from his pocket paper full Of
figures. s'Here, look at the statistics of
your case; you will see that one per.
cent of those attacked with your malady
are cured. SWELL" says the sick man
in an unsatisfied manner. swell, you
are the hundredth person with this dis
ease that / have had under my care and
the first ninety-nine are all dead"
1t gravels a young minister fearful,
who has spent every cent he could earn,
beg and borrow for four years to acquire
a good theological education, and has
settled over Western church with 8
salary of $500 q year if he can collect
| it, and three donation parties in spite OF
him, to read that Skyfler, the pitcher of
the Brooklyn nine, has just consented,
in view of the hard times, to q reduc.
lion OF bis salary to S4500 this season 1
Burlington Huykeye
An English gentleman was strolline
ont with a Cockney-a genuine Cock
lney-when they finahy approached a
meadow, in which was spread cut a
heavy crop of hay. The cockney gazed
of ~ uoodorinUIy II vocn,f nrooe 81