The Ottawa free trader., 1876-01-15
CREAM OUR EXCHANGES.


which he is an exemplary member and class.
leader Having subscribed 100000 to found a
Methodist college, he remarked to friend, g.
didn't know where the money was coming from
was worried over it, and SO made it a subject
of PRAYER After fasting and praying over the
matter one day, l went down on Wall street and
in less than twenty.four hours skinned those
fellows out Of 100000"
More than oae quarter OF the brcwcres in
Wisconsin have gone out OF business, because OF
4 lack of patronage, in year.-F0n du Lac Tom.
a.on1ood!N. Well, we said when we signed that
pledge that VIC should stick to ii II II closed c'-
cry brewery in the Statc.-Botkta.
Tho New York Nation is sharp on the religious
press that resorts to the meretrcious practlce
Of offering inducements for clubs and asks II the
paper ia worth all that is asked for it, how car
the publishers offer large, valuable prizes? Are
no. the prizes in the main humbug! and SO on,
concluding, " 1t is only after having cleared his
mind thoroughly on these points that man
should renew his subscription to his religious
paper and draw his chrome or his pair OF sus-
pe1ders."
woman cured her husband Of staying OF:
late al night BY going to the door and whisper
Ing through the key hole: Is that you, Willie|
Her husbands name is John, and he stops at
home now, and sleeps with one eye open, and
revolver under his pillow.
Hon. II. c. Dorry of Elko county Idaho, is the
last man on record who discovered soap mine
The lode" he says, " is 4 feet wide, and can be
traced for a long distance. Tho soap looks cX-
actly like pure CASTLE and possesses all lis ex.
i,,,rN A "a,
:Lc "man who discovered 3 soap mine" was
quite character, especially among the soldiers
Mr. Dorry may yet become famous.
As every year hitherto when Kansas or Ne
braska was ravaged by the grasshoppers in
spring proved exceptionally prosperous years IN
the state, the people out there are already anY-
iousIy looking for the eggs deposited last fall,
longing again to be devastated by The "plaguc."
As specimen Of deliberately sowing the wind
with dead certainty OF reaping the whirlwlnd,
the case OF the small boy who intrudes upon his
grown.up sister and her young man is especial
ly notable. But the small boy always takes the
chanccs.-S.. Louis R.pubiican.
A curiously .coored clcphat has been captured
at YasohtanO, in the north Of Siam. The ears,
tall and the hair Of the head are white, the eyes
light coored, the nails white, and the skin OF
The color OF teak wood, while the left task has
ceased to grow.-hr.
One OF the most curious cases Of elephant cap
turing that ever occurred in this country hap.
pencl at 81. Louis When Henderson caught Bah.
cock The cars, hair OF the head and eyes were
quite as peculiar as those OF the animal caught
IN Siam, Cnd then the st. Louis one was vastly
more savage. for it took its cap:orS head of.
The Brooklyn 4rgus says you can't make
pun on speaker Kcrr's name" Well, who ken's
whether you can or notg
The expression, Everything is lovely and the
goose hangs high," is a corruption Of the saying,
Everything is lovely and the goose honks hgl'
The houk is the note sounded 10y the wild goose
IN its flights, and in very pleasant weather IN
spring o. fall the Fight Of the goose is usually
very high.
HdrLer's BUR- states that at Il recent cGnten-
Eial tea party IN the western part OF New York,
a Young lady WAS dressed TO represent Martha
Washington at that critical moment when she
was saving the life OF John Smith from the In
dians." Tho BG.dr is historically Inaccurate. 1T
refers to Mary Queen Of Scots when she rushed
beneath the club OF George Washington and res
,-ued Sergt. Bates from an untimely dcatE.-Chi-
,,tgo Times
The poem entitled Beautiful Snow has re.
appeared US original in Montana paper and
credited to a poor hut Intelligent young man
Hancd Tompkins, who is tending bar.
His life may be safe In Montana, but let him
keep away fIom Louisville.
fellow tried 20 pass himself OFT as brother
OF Zach Chandler at the Benicia barracks, near
San Francisco, the othe. day. Zach tclegraphcd
that he had 10 brother, and 10 hang him. But as
lie was not Iachs brother they saw no good rea'
sou for doing so, and let him 90.
1t is said the reason that Boston detectives use
au axe to enter u gambling house is because
they want 10 ge. the chips.-Bos:OH 'ont1'crc,di
BaIlth.
South Bcnd editor says spring Is approach
Ing because he saw two snakes the other day.
But it's no sign Of spring il South Bend editor
sees 300 snakes.
After the destruction Of Virginia City by i:e
last fall, the government kindly seat them
couple OF car loads Of surplus soldiers clothing
it had on hand, But do you think that proud
people would accept the giftg Lots of them
went nearly naked, but noue but Fute Indian
was willing TO admit that lie was an object Of
charity by wearing the army blue.
The wonderful man Ia Detroit who puzzles
the doctors by being able 20 make his heart shift
hides can rest assured that he will be beautifully
cut up ss soon as he dies.-fe,c Orlsd"s R'pd6li.
cuG.
1t is tad that Virginia man Who lately had
delirlum tremeas saw angels instead Of snakes,
aud NON 81! the saloons in the place where he
lives nre lighting over the honor Of having cole
Lin hIs whisky.
The popcorn monopoly Of the Centennial has
bern sold for 5000. The cold rig's feet busi
ness has not yet been disposed Of.
Search the river! Perhaps Mr.. Tweed has ial.
len into H. do IL at oLcc. Do IL before the old
chap has chance To be bailed out.-Rrh'sisI
DtmDcrd'.
Itis stated that William NJ Eyarts will go up
1n the stage. The prejudice against street carr
{. taking n wide hold upon our public men-
Chicago Ihfsr-Orcus.
Moody is said 10 have converted t~ehe en-