The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1876-09-01
How an Editor Got Square with Al Cler-
gyman.

u
For instance, there is an editor ON Har-
ward Street who never gets home till
long after midnight, and he has neigh
Dor, who is a Clergyman, who has
parrot, who has u voice like planning
mill. This parrots cage is hung out
about daybrsak, and just rs the long
suffering editor is getting his first sleep,
and dreaming that he has scoopCd All
the other papers on a big Indian battle,
the parrot gives war-whOop that
makes all the windows in the ward rat
tie, and then goes of into q series Of
shrieks, whistles and yells, enough 10
turn the milk out in Cicero and Sc, the
teeth OF a handsaw on edge. L he per-
formance lasts tin about . o'clock, and
, whenever il shows any signs Of tagging
the clergyman comes out and, with an
almond or a lump of sugar, stimulates
the accursed bird 20 new frenzies.
Meanwhile the editor kicks, and puts
the clothes over his head, and swears,
and throws pillows round the room, but
| finally has 10 give i'm, and, when he gets
/ pale and haggard from loss Of sleep, the
/ clergyman would point him cut to the
other mel hbors as a fearful example of
the effects of dissipation.
At least, this is how things used 10
/ be. They are changed now. One even
ing in June, when the editor nthome
to dinner, his wife said
George, have some news for YOU"
"Ah, my love, j. it exclusive ."
'Our neighOors airs going away Tor
the summer TO Perry Springs"
81 hope they are going 70 take that
parrot with them
=. No; and what do you think They
had the impudence 10 come and ask If
we would take care Of the bird fOrthem
while they were gone. Did You ever?
I'd like to wiring it, neck for them while
they are gone"
A smile that was horrible TO see
Illuminated the editors face as he Kissed
in low. concentrated voice:
"My dear, we should always try and
return GOOD for evil. ! viii take care
Of that Bird
Next day the minister went away and
the editor set himself assiduolsy TO
train the parrot in the way he should
90. lie had q room padded and the
walls deadened, and he hung the cage
up in il. Then be went and hired two
boys and bought a horse-syringe and q
water barrel, and installed the boys in
charge OF the parrot. My sons he
said, ''little parrots that shouldn't sing
but viii sing must be made nos 10 sing.
Whenever that bird lets of = cheep just
, syringe him with water. -
The BOYS carried out the iustruc-
,ions so faithfully that in less
than q week the bird was silent as the
tomb. Aha" said the editor, "h:s
mind is now 'tabula -Osa' and pre-
pared 10 receive proper instruction.
lie must now be taught, and first
shall attend TO his musical education. 7"
Accordingly ne hired a man from q
variety show on Canm street 10 teach
the parrot 10 whistle all the popular
airs of the day, such as "Iumi Yum
YUM" "Saw my leg OF :" a. | was
going over the hill, saw q maid milk
ng a billy-coat." Then the vocalist
taught that parrot all the cries 4 the
street-pedd.ers. etc, and learned him
how to swear i'm fine print without the
use of glasses with all the iluoncy Of q
pirate or the lamcnted Horace Greeley.
NOW" said the editor triumphautly,
al can teach him the value IF time i
shall be well repaid" BY dint Of syr-
inging the bird with ice-water when he
ofie nded, and comforting him with al
monds, he reduced the bard 10 the sta
, tus of feaihered alarm-clOck set to
20 of with unerring regularity ~ ii ID
D. IL. and 1880 a. m, and warranted
. not 10 run down till the whole per-
formaace had been gore throu gh with
r according 10 programme. The par
rot's education had cost him heap If
, money and much trouble, but he did
not regret IT,
A week ago Saturday the minister re-
; turned by the : 80 p. m. train. and re-
, ceiyed his precious bird. The editor
, went home on the half-past ten car, lit
, his cigar, opened the window, and with
calm smile of expectancy, listened.
The clock had just struck half-past l l
when there came "A yell of "Fire ~ that
, probably startled every body in the
block except the editor "l.ie still, my
! love-" he said calmly to his wife, cit i
only the parrot There is no danger. y
I The fearful cry was repeated, the edi-
} tor heard sounds as il the minister and
: all his family were jumping out Of bed
then windows were opened on all sides
and he had the pleasure of seeing the
, man who kept the KEY Of the signal
, box (and wasn't insured) tear along
{ the street in his slippers and turn in an
alarm. 4 few minutes afterwards the
fire-bells rang, the engines came tear
ing up to the house, whence the shouts
I of Fire" were issuing. The minister
, had TO 90 down and explain, and one
of the drivers remarked audibly that
/ he'd punch the old snOozer's head OF
: Ton. n ninEnl MnnnwhiLn the nArrnl