Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1876-06-03
A SUICIDES LETTER.
The Feelings of Bernard Bailey, who Shot
Himself In st. Louis Because he was
Tilted.

Tue FeenuR9 Oh beFuhEO bhlleys VINO En0L
Himself in st. Louis Because he was
Tilted.
To THE PUBLIC: Would you like to
know how a man feels who is about to
commit suicide In the first place, he
must feel so badly that no matter what
is to come hereafter, it is more endura-
BILE than the present; and secondly, he
must feel that, more endurable or not,
he cannot help the act; that if even the
future is worse than the present, the
present is uncomfortable. / suppose
medical men would like to know just the
mental condition of one who can shuttle
off this mortal coil. 20. -.. f...
1t is this: My nerves and senses are
as sound as they ever were. l can attend
to business as efficiently, and as fully
realize that the chief end of man is to
gather ducats, as / ever could. but /
can also realize that without my better
half am as a perfect engine without
steam-useless.
Doctors of divinity would doubtless
like to know my moral and religious
ideas. My moral idea is this: That man
should do his duty in spite of obstacles
duO dn1 b1lotO
the only thing which will bring the
peace which passeth all understanding.
1 acknowledge that was too weak SO to
do. In regard to my future state, my
reason does not fully accept that there is
q future state of which we will be con-
scious. I believe in the Immortality of
the soul, or the life principle, or what
ever it is, as believe in the immortality
of bushel of coal; that it may change
its form SO essentially as to be uncon-
scious of having ever existed before, but
that still, as the coal, it is not destroy
ed, but simply changes its form. Ny
heart may speak differently to me, but
even then believe that whatever is, is
inevitable, as it must all proceed from
one great original, and so must be in
accordance with his will.
However, shall probably know more
about it in twenty four hours than all
the d. DIS living. am not crazy. l
know that the world is full of good and
enjoyable things, and that they were
put here for our good and benefit, and
that we should strive and work to obtain
them.
But I am unable to care for them
without the love of my darling. I wish
to state that Miss - is in no way
sponsible for my having loved her; that
almost before she had ground for think
ing that my feelings toward her we're
more tender than those of friendship,
she informed me that her heart was an
others, and that, while she esteemed
and cared for me as friend, I could be
nothing more to her. But she was mis-
taken in that, and though I could not
convince her of it while living, she will
realize it when I sleep the sleep that
knows no waking. A sweet good night
to all.
APPENDIX.
On the back of sheet of note paper
were the words: "Respect this" On
the other side was written the following
"I wish to be buried just in the
clothing in which I die. Do not move
me from where I am found, except to
my grave.
"Bury me in plain pine coffin, and
have me carried to my grave in one
horse spring wagon. Do not let the
total cost of my burial exceed SIS. As the
last request of dying man, I conjure
you to respect these instructions.