The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1876-05-19
The Editors Guests.
BY WILL CARLTON.

There were thirty long pages from Howler, with
| underlined capitals topped;
And a short disquisition from Growler, requesting
his newspaper stopped;
There were lyrics from Gusher the poet concerning
swee. howrets aud zephsrs,
And stray from Plodier, the farmer, describ-
ing couple of heifers;
Their biletr from beautiful Taaiens, and bills
from grocer or two,
And ms best leader hItched to q letter, which en-
qured If he wrote it, or wha1
There were Taptures Of praises from writers Of the
weakly, mvlflu0us echool,
And one OF MS rivals last papers, informing him he
/ fool;
There were several long resolutions, with names
telling VIII IN they by
/ Csnonizing some harmless old brother, who had
~, done nothins worse than to- die;
There were traps that table to catch him. and ser
peuts To sting aHi TO smitr HIM.
There were gift enterprises 10 sell him. and bters
tempting TO bite hun
There were long st ring ads" from the city and
money with never a one.
Which added: Plea give this insertion, aud send
IL your bill when you're done -
There were Letters from organlzation-their meet
ings, their wants aud their laws
NhIcn sud Can You print this announcement for
the good Of our glorious cause'"
There were tickets inviting his presence to festivals,
parties aud shows,
/ Wrapped ia notes. with 'Please give US a notice >"
d-muFely slipped in at the close;
In short his eye took the table, and ran Ger its
( ink-spaterd trash,
/ There was nOthugi did not encounter excepting
perh laps, it was cash.
The Editor dreamlly pondered on several ponderous
] things,
On different lines of action and the pDlling Of differ
en-: strings
! Upon some equivocal doings, and unequivocal
I dun-;
On low few of his numerous patrons were quietly
/ prompt~pAyiHg on-s:
On friends who subscribed Just TO help him" and
! wordy encouragement lent
And had gwen him pen of counsel but never
had paid him p cent;
On vinegar, kind hearted people who were feeding
him every hour,
/ W WhO not tue work they were doing but Won
dered that printers are sour !"
/ On several Intelligent townsmen whose kindness
was without stint,
/ That they kept eye his business and told him
| just what he should print;
! On meu who had rendered him fayors, and put
/ forward teir ella ms,
! 20 long as the paper crowded with "Iocas''
I containing their names;
On Va ous other small matters, sufficient his temper
u roll,
/ And finely c0ntrivep to be making the blood Of an
Editor bUu:
And may see that his feelings could hardly be
said u be smooth,
And he needed some pleasant occurrence, his ruff
fled emotions 10 s0othe;
| He had it Tor 10! the threshhold slow and
! rel able tread,
/ nd a farmer invaded no ssuctum, and these are
the words that be said:
Good mornin, sir, Mr. Printer; how IS your body,
/ tJ~days
I'm glad you're to home for you teller, is auas
Iunnin' away.
{
the one week b-fJ-e
But pose when the campaigns opened you'll Be
whJ0png it up 10 EN-
/ That feiieT that's printing The Snasher' Is goiD
Tor you prrty smart,
And our folks said this morning at breakfast they
thought he gettn tie start.
/ But hushed 'em right up in a minnit aud said q
/ good word for yOu;
1 told EN- I biieved you was tryin' to do just as
Well Won knew
Aud told 'em that some one was saying aud whoever
That you can expect much Of no one man, nor
blame hun for wh az be don't know.
But layIu aside pleasure for business, bge brought
/ you my little boz jim,
Ard thought would see if you couldn't make an
Editor o. him
Ny fany stock is ncreasin' while other folks seem
I've gta right smart Of a famfIy-its one of the old
} fashioned sort:
There's I.habod Isaac, and Israel, workiu' away
! They d. bout much as good boy, and make
things 20 of ike a charm
There's Moses and Aar1n-tueyre sly ones, and slip
ike q couple Of eeIs,
But they tofabIe steady in one thing-they
alus git round to their N ais.
There's Peter is busy Invention Though what he ln-
vents l csntsse}.
And Joseph is stud, IN med'cine-aud both of EN-
boardn with me-
There's AbrAin AMI Albert Is married, each WOrkln
my farm fJr himself;
And sam smashed MS nose at shootin', and SO he
is laid o. the shelf
The rest Of the byysare all CROWN, 'cept this ere
Ii. tie rEut, which is Jim,
Anl thought that perhaps Id be maxim Al Editor
Outeu o him.
lie amt no .reaJ shakes for 10 labor. IN gh I've
laU1rel VITA him q good deal.
And give him ssme strappia good arguments l
know he couldn't help but 10 feel
But he's built ont Of sec0nd-groWth timber, and
nothiu about him big,
Except. ns.hs appetite only, and there les as good
a pig.
keep him a carryin' lunchsona, ami hIlia' and
bringing the Jugs
And take hIln among the potatoes, and set him to
pIckgu' the bugs
And then there's things to be d5iu' a-helping the
The IS churuiu' aud washin' Of dishes and other
description of chores,
But he don't take n1tnin but YIctuals, and ne II
never be much m afraid,
so I Thought 1t y uId be good action 10 larn him
the EiitJr's trade
His bOiy's too small for farmer, his Judgment is
But Thought we perhaps could be maxim an Editor
him.
1t amt mitch TO get up a paper-it wouldn't take
him long for 10 learn
He could feed the machine, I'm a thinhin, with
good strappin fellow 70 turn.
/ And things that hard in doIn Is easy
enough now T. do
just keep eye your machinery, and crack
your arrangements right through.
used for to wonder Teadln, and where II was got
I'D and how.
But its most Of it made by machiuery-I see it
ali plain ugh now:
8
f-reut designs,
Each one with guaze and chopper 70 see 10 the
length OF the lines;
And hear a New Iorl clairyoyent ls running one
9leeaer than grease
And a-rentiu, her heaven born productions at a
couple Of d5llars apiece.
An sine the whole trade has groTed easy 'twould
be easy enough I've whim1
IF you was agreed to be making an Editor outeu q
jim"
The Editor sat in his sanctum, and looked the old
Ia the eye,
Then glanced at a grinniEg young hopeful and
rn8urnfll made bis reply
Is vogr ION a small unbound edition OF Moses and
Solomon both 2
Can he compass his spirit with meekness, and stran
gle a natural oath
Can he leave all his wrong 70 the future, and carry
, Ms heart in ujs cheek
Can he do an hours worz in minute, and live on
: six-peucs week
Can he cyurte~usy talk to az equal AMI brow bes
Al impud-nt Ounce
Can he keep things in applepie order and 20 half
dozen AT one =
Can he press all the springs OF knowledge with
quick ond reliable touch
And be sure that b knows how much to know, anc
U knows ~ 70 zoe know too much
Does he know how - spur ~ his virtue and Fut
: chackEein On his Tr4fs