Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1876-10-07
Fen,ininities.

with very fine preface.
| One good turn of an old silk
dress deserves another.
/ Brigham Young refuses to see
Ann Eliza when she visits Salt
Lake. He retreats into his dark
est room and crawls under the bed.
| Here is the verdict of Kansas
jury: "Died of a kick in the stom-
ach, by his wife, and he never
knew what hurt him."
1t is still a question whether it
is more dangerous to tread on the
trail of fashionable woman or
the trail of a savage Indian.
/ The wife of Lord Lytton Owen
incredibly has presented the Vice.
roy with an India-born baby.
Five of the foreign commission
ers in Philadelphia have become
engaged to girls in that city. It
proves to be city of more than
"brotherly love-"
A Newport girl had a fall last
week, and she injured herself so
severely that she was carried home
insensible. On recovering, her
first words, addressed to her sister.
were, Mary, did | have on my
striped stockings?'
A Saratoga belle declares that
she never met such a mean and in
significant collection of beaux in
her life-brats and snipes of boys,
with not money enough for two to
enter Congress Park.
Mrs Tillotson, the dress resor-
mer, said in her address at Boston,:
eff / was a betting man / would
bet $4,000 that these dry goods
merchants hate us because we are
likely to spoil their business by
shortening our skirts"
A fat French lady despeiringly
says: l am so fat that / pray for
a disappointment to make me
thin. No sooner does the disap-
pointment come than / am so re-
joiced at the mere expectation of
becoming thinner, that 1 become
fatter than ever"
| Lydia Maria Child comes to the
support of female suffrage in the
following effective style: "Ifwo-
men have physical or intellectual
strength to earn property and be
taxed, they have intellect enough
ia vote, and if they have sense and
feeling enough to suffer from leg
islation, they have sense enough
try to improve it,
II have just reached my 18th
year," lisped Chicago maiden
to her lover, the other evening"
Just then her half-grown brother
happened to come n,and thought
lessly exclaimed: "Why, sis!-
you only Is You've been Is ever
since / knew you'll" OF course the
boy lied, but then the effect, you
know-the effect!
A wealthy Bostonian died re-
Gently and left all his property to
his wife on condition that she
married again within eighteen
months. A friend who knew of
his intention previous to his death
said to him: ~ should think you
would dislike the idea of another
man enjoying your money" He
would not be likely to enjoy it very
much under the circumstances"
was the reply.
/ A prudent rich woman has
brought up her very accomplished
and beautiful daughters to do
washing and ironing. When she
is questioned she replies: "Oh
it is always better to be prepared
for any emergency. Perhaps some
of the poor children may marry an
Italian Count. What countless
| advantages such an education
would afford. How nice and neat
she can keep the barber shop when
the ''Count" takes her home from
Long Branch.
| "What under the sun are you
rumaging in all the closets for %
the tender wife asks the fond hus-
band, these bracing mornings
"My winter pantaloons and coat y
| he replies, with a suspicious look
as the empty hooks. ''Oh-why-
yes--let me see" and, with the
guilty blood suffusing her lovely
| face, she glides into the next room
and takes a china dog and q. pair
af glass vases and plaster shep-
herdess from off the mantel- piece
and hides them behind thr sofa.
/ Twenty New York preachers
have accepted invitations toattend
a new play at one of the theatres.
Barriers are being broken down
| xyarxx faot ord n Is o,aft;no. vfac.,,ox,