The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-04-01
April Fools Day.

Gated to fools and folly. than by considering
some of the principal frauds, humbugs,
charlatans, hypocIltes aud fools who lnfcst
the country, and dwelling for mo-
meut on their history and prospects.
They are large and thoroughly self
satisfied company recruited from vari-
Gus ranks OF society, and armed with impu-
deuce, pretension, cant, or simple stupidity.
They like to be observed, and entertain
low opinion OF those who crilicise them.
They think they ought to be permitted to
practise their trade unmolested by imper-
tinent surutin zers Of their shoddy matcri-
nls short weights aud other tricks Of de-
oeption. To-day let us celebrate the glo-
ries of this entcrprlsiug company, carefully
nbstaining from any word or suggestion
to which they can fairly take exception.
First we must speak of ULYSSES ).
GRANT, the brother of ORvIL L. GRANT. ana
his partner in the trader aud sutler business.
GRANT cannot strictly be called d fraud. He
Is not that by any means. His practice of
greed is open, and he believes in it. Once
of the very lowest estate. Il social wreck
and failure, he was lifted by n bloody war
to the high u ound of eminent position
where all men could see him. If ever u
man had reason to be thankful for the
happy fortune which enabled him to get
out Of the mire and to stand III clean
places, surely IL was GRANT. But what did
he do when he was put in high placer Heat
once proceeded to defile it with the filth
OF the place whence he came. Though
everybody has wished to think well OF
him, to honor him, and TO keep him secure
in his exalted position, he has so behaved
himself that there is no respect left for
him. Instead of holding as priceless
treasure his high military reputation, he
has traded with 1t and exchanged IL
for gifts and brides, aud tue money he
chershes as of first importance. Though in
place where lac might choose his friends
and acquaintance among the best in the
land he prefers low associates aud sur
rounds him elf with relatives greedy for
lucre and destitute of self-respect, and with
men who share his own notion that Gov
erpnent Office is chiefly valuable for the
opportunities it affords for money-mak-
lug aud for the general personal profit OF
the incumbent and his friends.
SO, instead of keeping a good name.
he has given his to very vile system held
In reproaoh throughout all the world,
TO the system of Grautism. In this he
has acted the part of the fool and the fraud
both. May GRANT mediate on these things
OH thus April Fools Day, and oourageously
resolve to mend his ways dismiss his
thieving associates. and, turning over
new lenf. set himself TO regainng such
portions OF the wreck OF his reputation as
he can save from the whirlpool about him.
BELKNAP is lost, but he is only a small
fraud IN the throng of Grantism. He steered
his ship Oh the rocks, and she went down
that is ALL SECoR RoBEsoN has so far kept
OF the breakers, but we hear the waters
splashing on the reefs close by, and see
how hopeless is his case, even with fraud,
impudencc, and adroit thievery ut the
holm. HAMILTON FISH is a pompcus sailor,
replete with the airs of an operose and os-
tentatious responsibility, but he keeps "a
JONAH aboard IN SIDNEY WEBSTER, his SON
in-law; and in fact FISH is one of the hol-
lowest of frauds. PIERREpoSr is a willy
mariner, but he has not escaped the frauds
of Grantism, and he cannot escape the
storm which blows over the whole OF
them.
The checklist fraud is HENRY WARD
liousuess, he takes the part of manly
fellow aud holy man. and with variations
Of bufToonery, plays il to the entire satis-
faction OF the brethren. But paint and gew-
gaws cannot hide the foulness underneath.
His reputation Is gone, aud he lives on lies
and perjuries. He Is a man to be ptied
II this April Fools Day should suggcs! to
BEEcHER the folly OF longer fraud, aud
the duty OF confession and atonement, per-
haps he might have eternal occasion for
celebrating with joy the first of April.
JAY GOULD is great fraud, but he
was fool IN buying the Tribune,
hiring the young editor rs stool
pigeon, aud building the tall tower He
went into a business he knew nothing
about, ana turned II into channels sure TO
lead to ruin. Hence the disaster which
has overtaken his journalistic venture.
Tho stool pigeon thought he could succeed,
by preteuce Of virtue and writing sweet
nothing', in covering up his disgraceful
stock jobbng employment. But lie has
hismaIly failed. lie has discovered that
though newspaper have even JAY
GoULD's money behind it, yet If it lacks
brains and honesty, it is bound to go down.
may make fool Of a man, and the young
editor illustrates the truth, that dress up
An ass how you may, his ears will be sure
10 discover him. Let the master and stool
pigeon spend this April Fools Day in COM
munion together. and let the burden OF
their discussions be the thoughts we have
outlined for their benefit. 1t Will be a
good day TO arrange for the abandonment
Of the Tribune fraud.
or other frauds we need only name BILL
KEMBLE, the author OF Addition, Division
aud Silence as Il formulated science; ScHUY-
LER CoLFAx, the pous brbe-taker; POKER
ScnENcK, the innocent rustic charlatan
TALMAGE, the blatant ministerial fraud
PEsDLEroH. the high-toned-g gentleman va
rety OF the fraud; Brother SHEARMAN
the highly pious lawyer; and OLIVER
JOHNSON, the convenient witness
But let us turn from this sad survey and
mink OF brighter things. Let us fasten o,n
gaze where genuine merit is, where fame,