Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-03-18
GATHERINGS BY THE wAYsIDE.
WISE AND oTHERwrsE-oRIerNAL AND SELECTED

WISE AND oTHERwgsE-oRIeINAL AND SELECTED.
"Wipe off your chin" is the very latest.
There will be one hundred Centennial
buildings.
A fried onion party has been given in an
Indiana town.
Pennsylvania rivers are being stocked with
Oregon salmon.
1t takes but breath of calumny to put out
blaze of glory. 1854 '.fs g..
The memory of the oldest inhabitant is a
snare and delusion.
Hens have on ambition similar to men.
They all want to get on the highest roost.
The date of James Gordon Benefits mar
riage is now announced as the 18th of April. !
Our " Devils" pronunciation of Echo is q
cross between cough and sneeze Echu
Motto for the girl of the period: Festigie
nalta retrorsam-Dont step on my pull back!
For man who always thinks nc is going
to die soon, Mr.. Beecher hangs on pretty
well. & -.rf '..sl~ T..@.
Ida Greeley Smith" is the way she signs
her name, and Smith will be heard of no
more.
The theory of the Kindergarten system is
that children must be taught to play. Can a
duck swim.
The weakly Echo scratches its head, cog
itates awhile and abandons total abstinence
as lost cause.
The colored population are to have Ma
tiOnal Convention at Nashville, April 9Th, for
political purposes.
Among learners of music in London the
parlor organ is in a considerable degree SUI
perseding the piano.
Fanny Fern" is credited with having adj
vlsed her daughter to never let James Parton
pass out of the family. .
The Pioneers of the Pacific Coast are TAX
ing measures to have building erected on
the Centennial grounds.
A South Carolina gander talks like parrot.
That's nothing. This community has an ed
tor who brays like jackass. ,....
And now ii is necessary for us to appeal
to the gifted reader to retain from using the
slang phrase "Chalk your chin"
An echo Is not reality. IL is bat an imi-
tation and sham. How little observation
discovers the eternal fitness of things.
Glen Mary, the penthouse of N. P. Willis,
is to be turned into hoopskirt factory But
then there is lots of poetry in hoopskirt
Again "there is q woman at the bottom of
it." The HerZegovinian troubles are said TO
have originated in the abduction of pretty
girl. WY, ,-.Fgre.-.
There WILDE about &, COO Am erican exhib.
itors at the Centennial Exhibition; England
win send 704, Sweden 676 and Germany
1888. ....' ...... ..,.. '..... -. -sr<
Philadelphia hotels accommodate q good
many bridegrooms now who are as devoted
as II they were travelling with other mems
wives. -tt
Representative Piper. of California, the
bonanza bachelor, is much sought after by
the loving girls OF Washington in this Gen.
tennial leapyear. 1888. go"
There is great deal of disenchantment
implied in the remark of a certain young
lady that she didn't like her pastor because
his beard was too rough.
1t took that German sayant just fourteen
years to make an egg and hatch the same,
but it viii take him just twice that long to
convince us of the fact ~ rk gf & w
Congressman Piper says he never was
good speaker, and that he has to hold on to
his desk and steady himself when he pro-
nounces ihe word "eleenosynary. sls
The bogus Bessie Turner keeps Cabling
and is getting rich Meantime the genuine
Bessie sleeps in trunk and locks 1t inside to
be certain of her nocturnal whereabouts
Nothing like newspapers. 1t is claimed
adelphia Ledger, that he was the first to
suggest the idea of o Centennial celebration.
If you go to the Centennial you will have
| to inscribe your name In the "Autographic
Register of Names Of Centennial Visitors"
which is to be afterwards bound and placed
In the Library OF Congress-
The New York Herald says that Senator
Jones is no longer the silver-tongued; but
he sits tossing white-swaddled baby on his
knee, and sings:
TutfolaYi tutfolee, '''
Tutfolari, twangl
90 death, where is thy stingg O grave,
where is thy victory ?" exclaims the impas-
stoned minister, and the undertaken back in
| the audience feels for his bill in his pocket
and chuckles beneath his breath, stTIere, by
hokeyr Vi. s~ =
Bessie Turner Is lecturing in Illinois. At
times in her eloquence she seems to soar
away white.robed angel Of rest, In deli
ciously unconscious state, and il is evident
she could be carried up Jacobs ladder with
out waking. '4tl'A - 2
Here is rule by which TO tell a sweet
orange from sour one: The sweetest are
shaped at the stem something like lemon
or pear, and the nearer they approach that
shape the sweeter they are. Now bring on
your oranges.