The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-30
Items of Interest.

Items OF Interest,"
A man can make himself rs miserable
as he needs to be by attempting to cor
rect all the evils in the world.
1t has been found that in nearly every
civilized country the tree that bears the
most fruit for market is the axle-tree.
According to the latest definition,
bachelor is man who has lost the OPP
portunity of making a woman miserable.
Many persons have brought ON serious
sickness by holding on to the knob of
the front door while standing in draft,
and speaking last words" to friends
or visitors.
"What is conscience % asked a
schoolmaster of his class. can inward
MONITOR" replied bright little fellow.
"And what's a monitor? cone of
the ironclads.'
A man that will swear at the pig that
neglected to eat the acorns that grew the
tree from which came the refractory
piece of oak he is vainly trying to split,
may be said to have gotten down to the
root OF the thing.
Let every man do his duty, this GEN.
tennial spring, beginning by clearing up
pll otOl tDtub LIS JttLb 40 OANt
boards, tin cans, broken bottles, hoop
skirts, superannuated bustles, dead
limbs, and caved-in barrels.
An American in London has found
that waste beer and the linsings of beer
glasses are sopped or swabbed up with
rags, which are then squeezed and
made to yield a cheap drink to be sold
the next day to unsuspectipg Britons.
A young lady dressed in much false
hair was warbling at the piano, and when
her mother summoned her to assist in
some hou ,ehold duties, her rosy lips
opened poutingly and she snapped out,
"Oh, do it yourself!", And then she went
on singing " Kind words can never
die"
A few years ago you could sit up and
talk philosophy with girl all night
but now if you stay after one or two
o'clock in the morning the old people
begin to pound on the floor up stairs
for you to go. We don't mind it our
selves, but we can't help feeling for the
girls.
The peo 7le of Great Britain consume
on an average five and half bushels of
wheat annually per individual. The
w Do lCtl dDOup OD,OOb,OUO
The crop the past year is estimated at
demand for about 100,000,000 bushels
from other countries.
A Mexican girl has just been discover
ed with three well-developed arms. Any
well regulated husband, contemplating
this singular freak of nature, can't but
reflect how convenient the third hand
would be to hold him in position by the
hair while the other two warmed his
jacket with broomstick.
The Franklin {Ky.) Patriot says:
We notice seventy-five cents shirts ad-
vertised in our city exchanges. We
shall never insult our manhood by get
ting into such cheap rag as that. No
rather let us continue to deceive an
unsuspecting public with paper collar
skillfully pinned to the crater of o close
buttoned vest.
Said little boy to his mother the
other morning: "Ma, had the beauti-
fullest dream last night you ever saw.
dreamt that 1 wouldn't go to school and
that you went out into the yard and cut
great long switch, but just as you was
going to give me an awful dressin' the
world came to an end Didn't ] get out
of it easy, though ?"
A Santa Cruz county mans house
was recently robbed by three tramps,
who took a quantity of clothing. He
| followed them several miles into the
mountains, overlook them, and started
them back. Becoming tired of watch
ing them, he tied them to trees, gave
them sound thrashing, and them turn
ed them loose, one at time, and went
home rejoicing.
In the treatment of burns in the chari-
ty hospital, New York, when of super
fetal character, preparation consisting
of two parts of collodion and one of
olive oil has been found to be very eff
cacious. When the burn is of an extern
sive character, gasoline proves of de-
cided benefit. The advantage of gaso-
line is that it is of the right con-
sistence, and does not become rancid.
About 100000 tons of coal are
mined yearly In Pennsylvania. In the
mines, unwrouPht, it is worth fifty cents
a ton, or $10,000,000; mined and
brought to the surface. it is worth $1,50
ton, or $50, 0,000,0 600; ground, broken,
and placed on tine cars, it is worth s. 80
ton, Or $50, 000,0 900; delivered at the
boundaries of the State or on shipboard,
it is worth on an average $3.50, or
$110, 900, 900, which is the sum annually
paid to Pennsylvania for coal.