Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1876-02-16
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WEDHBsDA Y EVENING, FEBY. 1s.
The Sandwich Islanders Lament
Wicked but Witty.

From the St Louis Republican.
A gentleman, who appear. to be perfectly
reliable person, has been in and related the
substance of conversation herecently engaged
10 With 90 Intelligent native of the Sandwich
Isaods who was converted to Christianity some
years ago. and has since acted as native mis-
sionary. The Sandwich Islander is at present
10 this country on tour OF information. He
has been in San Francisco several times, but
never east of the mountains before, though he
speaks English perfectly, asd would scarcely
be taken for foreigner here we're it not for
the dark color OF his face. The gentleman
who describes the conversation with the Sand
wich Islander gives the substance Of it 10 the
latter's OVID words as nearly az possible. Said
the newly civilized man, in the course of con-
6dential interchange OF thought:
Ye5, ss you say, civilization is undoubtedly
great blessing, and feel great deal more
respect tor myself since l became convert
and since my people gave up some OF their
savage practices. We never eat the mission
aries DOW, no matter how low provisions may
run, and the last OF the men who were really
entitled to be considered epicures 10 mission
AIRY meat died some time ago. l regret to say
that when be died he didn't seem to appreciate
all the benefits Of Christianity as be should
have done. He was tough old fellow, who
used to be kind OF underehief 10 the old days.
and just before be died | went around to see
him and try to smooth bis pillow. as it we're.
He wouldn accept any consolation, but groW-
ed out that he would like to have one more
square meal Of nice young theological student
before be died, and then be turned over with
his face towards the wall and passed away.
kDowits weak and sinful, but sometimes, though
I'm missionary myself now, l do long for re-
turn of those good old times when it seemed
like kind of providence that when the
fishing was bad and good eating Of any kind
hard to get a missionary was always sure to
land. Sometimes one wonld come SO poor that
we'd have to stsll-feed him on shell fish aud
things for few weeks before he d be ht for the
table; but this didn't often happen. We gene
rally disposed Of them about as soon as the bills
Of fare could be printed and distributed around.
A missionary shouldn't be 10 too good cond-
ton. like fat and lean coming 10 streaks to-
gether best, aud that was the general taste.
Once, when very fat missionary arrived, we
had to trot him up and down the beach hours
every day for week or two to reduce him to a
condition bit for eating. Some OF the cvnnols
seurs on the Island used to pretend to dlstln
gulsb difference between the taste of preach
ers Of different denominations but never could
myself. Of course there great difference 10
the quality Of different joluts Of a missionary,
just as there is in beef or mutton. Some like a
shoulder Of missionary boiled, with caper sauce,
and some always 90 for drumstruck, and 9th
erS like nothing better than 10 nibble away at
q foger b7oied. AS for me, don't wait any
thing better than nice rib chop, scorched a
little and brought Oh with sprg of parsley
to give it an air Of neatness and freshness.
Once missionary came out with his wife and
wo-year-old boy. The wife died 90 the voy-
age, but the missionary and boy reached us all
right. l shall never forget how that child
tasted We baked him whole, stuffed with
bread crumbs and onions and things, and 90
roast pig ever made such heavenly dish !
have read what your Mr. Lamb says of roast
pig, and cannot but regret that he was not
there to taste that child. He alone could have
done justice to the subject. The dish was talk
ed of for years afterwards by all epicures 90 the
island. It's all vanity now, know, aod as a
Christian missionary | ought never to thiuk of
such things, but can't always restrain mys:lt.
We were poor, misguided creatures, of course,
but those were halcyon days"