davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1876-02-25
Look Beneath the Fun.

There is more in this incident than its
fun. 1t is humorous rendering of the old
story about the farmers and the bull that
gored the OK. But it may teach a moral
lesson if we look beneath the fun.
Ihera,s 2 German- who keeps a corner
grocery in Keokuk, and he had a call
from little boy, the other night, who
had been sent to get two-dollar bill
changed. The boy received the change
and walked home with it, when it was
discovered that there was a quarter which
was rather ragged, though good, in the
change, and also that the quarter was
just twenty-five cents more change than
the folks who sent the bill were en-
titled to.
The boy was sent back to return it, and
of course tho ragged fractional" was
sent with him. Entering the store, and
holding the ragged money, the boy
said:
"You changed a two-dolfar bill for me
here's a quarter"
Our German friend, seeing the ragged
money, and fancying he would have to
take it back, interrupted the boy by ex-
claiming
"shanged nodinksl l shanged no pills
nit you"
"Yes, you did; and here's a quarter" !"
"You was liar Meier in my life did
l see such poys. 1 dells you, you nefer
shanged me nit any pill"
"Why, was in here not half an hour
ago, and you gave me a quarter"
"Gif you some quarters,-gif you some
quartersl Dunderwetter, young fellow
You dink bin gone crazy nit my prains |
l don't gif you some quarters Now make
yourself off, ride away, before l put
shoulders on your headp and he COM
menced to move from behind the counter
80, you didn't give me no quarter,
hey7 All right, squire; I'm just q quar-
ter ahead /" and he started to 60 out.
"Now," said the German, putting him
self in an attitude of admiration, 'dot is
what 1 like to see peter as nothing else.
1 loafe an honest poy, and shoust pin
trying you, sonny. Yaw, it was me what
makes shange NIT der pill, and knows
it all der same, put was trying you.
You peesh cheney poy, and l gifts you
nice big apples for your honestyp'
Pocketing the quarter, he led the boy
back to the rear end of the store, and
selecting an apple about the size of
marble, he presented it to the boy, and
patting him on the head, Said,-
"Now run along home, sonny, and dell
your folks vot nice p-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l old
shentleman it was who gif you dot nice
apple"
, 1876-02-25

The CONFEDERATE FLAG.-Durin0 our
civil war the several seeded States used
at first distinctive State flags. In March,
1851, the Confederate Congress adopted
the so-called ''stars and bars" composed
of three horizontal bars of equal width.
the middle one white, the others red, with
blue union contsining nine white stars
arranged in circle. The resemblance of
this to the "stars and stripes" led to con-
fusion and mistakes in the field; and in
September, 1861, battle-fag was adopt-
ed, red field charged with a blue sal
tier, with a narrow border of white. on
which were displayed thirteen white stars
In 1868 the stars and bars were supplant-
ed by flag with a white field, having the
battle-hag for union. The flag of 1858
was found deficient in service it being
liable to be mistaken for flag of truce:
and on February 4, 1855, the outer half
of the field beyond the union was covered
with vertical red bar. This was the
last flag of the Confederacy.-AppEeton's
American Cyelopedid, revised edition.
, 1876-02-25

A NEW REsPoNsIBILITY.-A day OF
two ago citizen living on the river road
called at the postofice to mail package.
He had four cents worth of stamps on it,
but when weighed it was found to lack
two cents.
"I'll not pay It'll Four cents is plenty ~
he clustered. "I know what it is worth
to carry packages as well as this govern
ment doesl"
"The postal law regulates these mat
ters," i" observed the clerk.
"Then I'll regulate the postal law,
will"
The clerk was wondering how it could
be done when the man continued:
"You see this packagef"
''Yes, SIR"
"With four cents on iti"
eyes, sir"
"Well, I'm going to mail it. If it
reaches Chicago, all right. If it doesn't
I'll come around here and haul you
through that window and break fifty Of
your ribs and twist you twice around
that doorp'
Applications for the position of stamp
clerk should be sent in early.
, 1876-02-25
Compelled to Remove Again.

About a year since, II. Williams & Co.,
prOprietOrs of the Yerba Buena Bitters, re-
moved to new and more commodious quar-
tcrs for their business, in order that they
might be able to supply the rapidly increas-
ingdemand for that popular remedy. During
the year their business has grown so rapidly,
and increased to such an extent, that they
iiud themselves under the necessity of en-
larging again and of increasing their facili-
ties for manufacturing. To do this they
have secured commodious premises at So
New Montgomery St, S. F., where they will
be able to meet every demand in the way Of
orders, in a short time. To those who have
not become acquainted with the life giving
properties of the Yerba Buena Bitters we
would say, if you need safe, pleasant and
at the same time, an etfectual cathartic, send
fora bottle and try them.
, 1876-02-25
Where does it all come from ?

Pints and quarts of filthy Catarrhal dis
charges Where does it all come from? The
mucous membrane which lines the chambers
Of the nose, and its little glands, are diseased
50 that they draw from the blood its liquid,
and exposure to the air changes it into cor
ruption. This life-liquid is needed to build up
the system, but it is extracted, and the sys-
tenn is weakened by the loss. To cure, gain
flesh and strength by using DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery, which also acts
directly upon these glands, correcting them,
and apply DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy with
DIR. Pierce's Nasal Douche, the only method
of reaching the upper cavities, where the dis
charge accumulates and comes from. The
instrument and both medicines sold by drug
gists and dealers in medicines
, 1876-02-25
The Spirit Of the Are.


A little brown-eyed maiden Of five
summers, in the city of--has most
devoted admirer in young man Of four
years. They are constantly together, ex-
changing visits daily and semi-daily. She
came bounding in to see him one coite
last week, her cheeks glowing and ewes
sparkling with some new startling in-
formation. The little heart seemed to
swell with keen sense of her feminine
superiority, as she exclaimed, "Oi Har-
ry, don't you wish you were girll for
boys are made up Of puppy dogs tails
and rats and snails, but girls are made
Of sugar and spice and everything nice
Now, sir, don't you wish you were girl9u
she repeated, in most tantalizing man
ner.
Master Harry seemed, for a moment,
staggered and overwhelmed with shame
at his inferiority, but he soon collected
himself as his masculine skepticism came
to his rescue "Ohl poohi that is not q
bit true. Maria Sprague, don't believe,
a word Of it; it is only-only Thunday-
school readin' I"
Miss Maria seemed shocked at the
young mans want Of faith in Sunday
school books and said no more
, 1876-02-25

THE AMERICAN ScULPToR.-Miss Hos
mer, of Rome, will be represented at the
Centennial by an original group in mar
Bile, the largest she has ever undertaken,
portraying the idea of the AFRICAN Sibyi
foreshadowing the freedom of her race"
, 1876-02-25

No debating society appears as yet to
have satisfactorily answered the conun-
drum Of why il is that low fellows are
most inclined to get high. These para
doxes should all be wrestled with,
, 1876-02-25

OF all the remedies extant for Bright's dis
ease, diabetes, gravel, and all affections Of the
bladder and kidneys, in male or female,
KEARNEY's EXTRACT BUCHU is the most re-
liable and efficacious. No one should be
without it.
, 1876-02-25

UP to the point where the lungs are in a
state of suppuration, HALE's HONEY OF
HOREHoUND AND TAR will cure all diseases
of the organs Of respiration.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in minuts
, 1876-02-25

A DoCToR IN THE CLosET-Trapper's In
dian Oil is enc of those harmless, ready rem
edies that every family should keep on hand.
Whenever there is pain, use IT,
, 1876-02-25

THE ingenious French have contriyed
a novel way to impress the barbaric mind.
NJ. De Braxa, who has charge of the ex-
pedition to Senegal, carries an electric
battery in his pocket communicating
with two rings on his hand and with
other apparatus scattered about his per
son. When he shakes hands with a saw.
age chief, that chief will be very much
astonished, for the electric shock will run
up his arm, and he will see lightning
playing about the head of his visitor.
, 1876-02-25

DEAR FRIENDs-England and Egypt
are now shares dmiS.-PuneA.
, 1876-02-25

THE Cincinnati Commercial has come
to the conclusion that the only cure for
intemperance is more water and less
whisky.-DerOit Free Press.
, 1876-02-25

MULLER's PEBBLE sPECTACLEs.
nIRECTIoN AND PRICE LIST MAILED FREE;
~ Orders by mail receive prompt attention. Goods
forwarded per Wells, Fargo Co, c. o. D., subject 10
approval; Address z. MULLER, Opticlan, I85 Mont.
gomery St., near Bush, san Francisco. Cal.
, 1876-02-25

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1876
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BRINGING
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700 Cheapest Journal in America-You will o
100 certainly End that journal in the American o
100 AGricUitarist, issuing its s5th Annual o.
100 Volume during the Centennial Year Two O
100 numbers now. ready for 200. 900 old read, Q
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100 Great Variety Of Practical, Relia- o.
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The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
DIR. wistnr's BaIsam OF wild Cherry,

The standard remedy for the cure of
csughs, colds, influenza, bronchitis,
hoarseness, asthma whooping cough, :,
Group, sore throat, diptheria. difficulty of
breathing. quinsy, phthisic, pain in the
side and breast, splitting of blood, liver
complaint. bleeding of the lungs, and all
diseases of the throat, lungs and chest,
including even consumption. 1t seems
hardly necessary to dilate at length upon
the virtues Of this fsvorite remedy for
all diseases Of the lungs, throat and
chest. 1t was introduced to the public
by Dr. Wistar p"arly half u century
since, and by the wonderful cures which
1t performed, gained an immediate and
envlable reputation, which to this day it
has full y sustained. From the gulf of
the st. Lawrence to the shore of the Pa
cihc, and in Inany countries abroad.
there are few villages or hamlets with
out living testimonials" to the rapidity
and certainty of its curative effects. The
propretors, mindful of their response
bllty to the afflicted, exercise the utmost
care In the selection and compounding
OF the various ingredients of which the
BALsAN is composed; and the sick arc
assured that the high standard of ex-
eellenee on which its popularity is based
VIII always he maintained.
SETH W. FowIE 4 Sons, Proprietors,
st. Bostou,
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22

A BOLD ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE FROM
JAlL.-On Tuesday night Freddy
Reves," a dangerous prisoner, cut one
of the iron bars in his cell and got to
the wooden door. Here he stood and
Knocked. On the keeper asking what
he wanted he replied he was very sick
and asked for medicine. The warden
remembering the orders OF the Sheriff
not to open the doors at night, refused
his request. 1t is now supposed that
thescoundrel meditated ap assault upon
the warden and by securing the keys
making his escape.
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22

were appointed committee to appor-
tion the assessments for tn, benefit OF
the Conference Academy, among their
respective charges.
The following standing committees
were then announced:
On examination of candidates for
admission on trial-T. b. Hunter, @.
w. Prettyman, T. o. Ayers, L. }
Williams, Geo. II. Brster.
First year class--J. w. Pierson, r.
). Williams, w. L. Talbot, j. II. Van
Burkalow. W. Ii. Hutchins
Second year class-J. b. Merritt; !;
Vaughan Smith, VIM. Uric; e. w.
Burke, +. G. Irwin.
Third year class-L. G. Matlack, Il.
II. Haynes, w. G. Walton, J. f. Bryan
j. NJ. Williams
Fourth year class--A. w. Milby, J.
l.. Taft, J. Ii. Caldwell, T. L. Tomp-
kinson, E. b. Newman.
Local preachers for Deacons orders
w. J. Baine, w. r. McFarlanc, w. W j..
Redman, ]. W. Weston.
| Local preachers for Elders orders
b. +. Price, Adam Stengle, s. Il. Gard
ncr, John France.
The relations of Il. }. Way, J. E.
| Campbell, John Allen and j. J.. Taft,
supernumeraries without work were
continued.
On motion of Rev. j. b. Quigg, the
subscriptions for the Conference Acad-
emy was changed from June to April.
| Rcv. John ID. Curtis was granted
superanuated relations.
The officers of the church Extension
|
were reelected,
Hon. N. b. Smithers and II. T.
Hopkins were elected visitors to Dick
inson College.
Milford, Del, was unanimously Sc
lected as the place for holding the
next annual session.
W. W. Wilson, admitted to Confer
ence on trial was allowed 10 withdraw
his recommendations.
The report ofthe committee On s.atisic
was read. The following are the i'm
portant items. Number of probation
ers forltbe year, 4, 751 members, %, $50
local preachers. 147; deaths, 2Yl; chill
dren baptized !, 1854; adults baptized
24O; Sunday Schools, 315. officers AM
teachers, 1880; scholars, "a, ,55s; coz
versions in Sunday Schools, ,734
churches, 316; value of same, 81 ,206,
$50; Indebtedness on same S104 ,2tS
parsonages, 81, valued at B130, 700.
The usual resolutions of thanks t
tha Presiding officer and Secretaries
Trustees and Choir of Union church
Pastors and people of Wilmington an,
the Railroad Companies, were adop
ted.
Kevs. Quigg and Brown We're aF
pointed n committee on Railroad nc
commodations.
The minutes were read up, the ar
pointments published elsewhere
announced, and after appropriate re
marks by Bishop Scott the Couferenc
Adjourned, seae die.
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
SFEC1AL worn f.
{. F. KunkeI's Bitter Win of Iro

has never been known to fail j.. tho cure of
weakness. attended with symptoms, indi ro.
sitinn to eXertion; loss Of memory; difficulty
4t b.eath'ugi general weakness; horror Of
disease; weaF, nervous trembling; dreadful
horror OF DEATH night sWeats; cod feet ,
weakness; dlmness OF vision; languo.; uni
versai assi,ude OF the nius u'nr system; enor-
nous anpetlte with dyspeptic symptoms !;
not bani>; hushine Of tie body: dryneSs OF
the skin; rallid countcnance and eruptions
on the face; purifying the blood; pain in the
back; heaNiness OF the cyelids; freauent
black spots flying before the eyes with tenn
attention, etc. Thsse syiaptois all arise
nom weakness and to remedy that Use L
!. KEskEL's Bitter Wine of Iron 1t never
falls. ihou.ands are now enjoying health
Beware o counierfeits and hase imttations
AS kunkel's Bitter Vino Of Iron is SO well
known all er the country, drugg them
selves make an intuition and try to palm it
Of on their oustomers, when they call for
kurkel's Bttrr Wine Of Iron is putt up only
in ~ bottles. and has a yellow wrapper nice
ly put on the outside with the proprietor's
photograph an each bottle. Always look for
the photograph on The outside. and you will
always be sure 70 get the genSine. 81 per
bottle, or six ior s5. Sold by druggiste and
dealers everywhere.
Tape Worm Removed Alive.
Head and all complete in two hours. No
fec til head passes. Seat Pin and Stomach
Worms removed by Dr. KuNKEL, 259 North
St. Philadelphia; Pa. Send for circular. For
removing all ordinary worms. cali on your
druggist and get bottle of kuNEEI.'s WORM
SYRUP. Price. II. feblO-d&wln
Fine Nail Scissors
Curved and straight, Nail Brushes, Hand
ale by L. BRINGHURsT q Co,
Corner Sixth and Market streets.
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
ebl2
Sarah Jane Hauser so, May Term. 1876
Summon

Sarah Jane Hauser) 80, May Term. 1876
pento m iauser. IL; Ais summon
New Castle County, Sc.
The state OF Delaware to the
Ir - Sheriff of New Ca tie county, greet
Hss-H ing: Whereas Sarah Jane HAIsei
Y SHY her petition to Judges of oIr
thonotary of said Court ia and for tho LoAns. .
of New Castle. for the cause OF compliant
therein alleged and made application to our
said Judges thata decree may be pronounced,
dissolving the marriage existing oetwe en-
the Petitioner and her husband one Benton
Hauser.
We, therefore, command Jod, rs you have
heretofore been commanded, that yOu sum-
mon l;enton Hauser SO that he be and appear
before the said Jud res of our said Superior
Court, aL the next term thereof to be held at
New Castle, in and for the County of New
CASTLE. on Monday, the twenty-set ond day
OF May next, to answer the allegations OF the
said petition, and also to show cause, IL
any he has, why decree OF the sal { tourt
should not be made lSsJlVinS the marriage
existing between him and the said Petition
er according to the act OF assembly IN such
case made and PROVIDED and % to do and
receive what the said Court shall then and
there consider concerning him III this behalf
as TO the ourt shall seem meet and con-
sistent with The provisions of the said acts OF
Assembly.
And have you then and there this writ.
Witness the Hon tdwa' d w. Gilpin, Esq .
at New Castle, the Seventh day december,
A. d. Eighteen Hundred and Sevcnty-five.
Attest: CHAS BEASAEN.
Prothonotary.
Issued Feb'y 9th, 1876
| do hereby certify that the above is a
mon. &c WM. II. LAMBSON,
sheriff.
SA'''f f sS9nsry %'lss SsT T. .7a af'' te0l4mayas
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22

BURNED TO DEATH.-On Monday rnorn-
ing little child named Lizzie Jones,
only sixteen months old, living with its
mother No. s01 East Eighth street was so
badly burned about the neck and face,
that she died from her injuries the same
evening at 1870 o'clock. The little
child had only had been left for few
moments by the mother, and io is sup
posed that during her absence the child
crawled to the stove to warm itself, and
fire
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
Highway Robbery.

Eearly yesterday morning, before day
light, man named James Hulden, Of
Middletown, was assaulted on Front st.
between French and Walnut, and robbed
of gold and silver watch, gold ring
and 800 in money. The robbers fled, but
yesterday, they were traced to $40 John
street. Philadelphia, by Officers Conner
aud Gibbons, of this city, arrested and
brought to this city. Their names are
Levi Davis and James Hynes. The watch
and part of the money was recovered but
the ring was not found.
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
STRAY WAITS.

Union Loan Association meets this
evening.
The Conference sessions closed this
morning.
And the people sigh for deliverance
from this March weather.
The peach growers are becoming alarm
ed at the continued cold snap.
Carncross & Dive's Minstrels will APP
pear at the Grand Opera House, to-mor
row night.
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
CPEEIAI. NOTICE TO DELISQUENT9
y OF
CITY .c school Tares for 1875.

We, the undersigned. receivers Of said
Taxes do hereby give notice TO all such per-
sons aB have not called or made some ar
rangements. that we will send each one a
Postal card requesting him or her 10 call.
Having rendered their bills, called time and
again, and while many have called, a great
many have not; and the latter VIC most re
spectfu ly ask to give this their atten
tion, believing as we do thtt we have done
our duty IN trying to collect these taxes, and
while w @ have no desire to distress any one.
we have a responsibility resting on us. The
money is due us. We have given bonds to the
city and we are responsible for it. The city
needstne money and Is urging US to collie CT
it or pay It, and we propose to do so. We
must therefore 'llect 1t. And epmore
we DO not intend to be two years collecting
one YEARS taxes.
All persons who have not paid their City
and ehool Taxes for le75 will please call at
once at the Collectors Ofice and mako pay.
ment otherwise we shall proceed according
to law. 10 make collections. We are under
bonds to the city for the collections of all
tax ON the Assessment Books, and must fol-
our own protection. col'ecJlt. We therefore
give this notice to all delinquents, and II they
do not comply they must, OF necessity abide
the consequences.
Oni1e No. 10 Fast Sixth street. between
Market and king,
Hours from A. NJ. to IL NJ. from to ant
to Z. Nj. -
Receiver Northern district Qncluding al
| northof 9Th stIeet)
| EDWARD FARMFR,
| Receiver OF Southern District uncudin,
| all south OF sixth street.
! NOTICE TO REAL ESTATE OWN
| ERS.
| THOSE WHO SELL OR TRANSFER
REAL ESTATE WILL OBLIGE TIKI
| UNDERSIGNED BY LEAVING A NO
| TICE THEREOF AT OUR OFFICE
| THAT WE MAY ASSESS IT TO TIL
| PROPER OWNERS.
| EDWARD PROVOST,
| EDWARD FARMER,
feb22tf City Assessors
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22
4 Slight Mlsnnt.erston

"Have you seen the great restorer?" asked
one OF our near sighted friends of another, a
few days ago. "1he great Ristori! Oh yes.
heard her as Elizabeth Grand woman. sir. .
II don't mean her mean the great Restorer
of Sight, the Diamond 5pectacles. Get a
pair of them at once and see that it is stamp.
ed with the diamond trade mark"
For sale in WILMINGTON by b S. Clark, O.
497 Market street mar2l cad SWl w
The daily gazette., 1876-03-22

DUrREz Sc BENEDrcT's MlNsTRELs.-
Quite large audience assembled AT
the Grand Opera House, last evening,
to witness the performance of Duprez
81 Benedict's Minstrels. The perfor-
nance was good and superior to the
ordinary standard of minstrelsy.