The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-01-08
VARIETIES,

WnHJ .luHUO llcn uOl hHuW hO'uV
whiskey generally isn't worth worry
ing over; but they are puzzled atout
CROOKED whskey, aud want to sample
little Of "that new kind"
A man in New Hampshire had the
misfortune recently to lose his wife.
Over the grave he caused a stone to I've
placed, on which, III che depth of his
grief he had ordered to be inscribed
clears cannot restore her-therefore
weep"
Hon. w. a. Richardson die at
Quincy, ILL.,, Monday m0rning,aged "a,
He served five terms as a Representa-.
tive in Congress from Illinois, and was
chosen U. S. Senator, in 1860, for the
unexpired term of stephen A. Doug
ass.
Mary Fister, aged sev8nty-four years,
died suddenly at Pottsville on Monday.
Her death, il is believed, resulted from
eating an apple or orange, portion of
which is supposed 10 have lodged in
her throat.
A business house in Columbia has
consricu0usly displayed in its how
window a mans skull, and printed in
large letters across the forehead are
these words Of warning tn the daily
swarm of travelling saIesmen This
man was IA hummer"
The Louisville Courier journal says
that a ! Oetica New Yorker, learning
that the late NJ. p. Willis named his
residence "Glen Mary" after his wife,
concluded That that was just about the
thing to do, and so he calls his house
"Glen Matilda Jane"
The Rev. Mr.. Mitchell preached
fOrciOle sermon, in the Methodist
Church at Ancram, n. Y, about hypO.
critics. Brother Porter believed that he
was alluded to, and replied from the
pew that the pastor was liar. The
service ended in disorder.
Bret Harte went to visit a relative in
a suburb of Troy, N. Y, while the
family was absent He was muddy,
and servant mistaking him fer
tramp, reluctantly admitted him to the
kitchen, and left cOachman to watch
him until her mistress came.
A Chinaman at Truckoo, California,
being detected the other day in an at
tempt to steal a piece 0f rubber hose,
was kicked around the entire block by
the irate owner, and after he had thor
Oughly exhausted himself and worn out
the seat of the Celestial's pantaloons,
John calmly propounded the following
question : "You no likee lendum ?"
Revivaist Hammond illustrates an
argument with horseshoe magnet and
,il of ~ tna tn
railroad spike. He lik6he the magnet
to Jesus The tack typities little chill
dren, and he shows how readily they
cling to the magnet. A simple touch,
too, attaches the shingle nail, which he
likens to youth. The larger nails are
lees and less affected, until the big
spike a tough old sinner of the most
intractable kind-will hot stir Under the
influences.
A book agent called on farmer the
other day, and was told that the farm
But" said the agent, "your farm
work is all done. You have nothing to
occupy your time ?" Yes | have,
too" retOrted the former "'1'va got to
plant my foot and raise n book agent"
And he did, lie raised him about tour
feet.
The officer9 who searched the bag
gage of the wife of Joyce, the whiskey
frauds convict, expecting to discover
Government bonds, found small tin
box in trunk "Ah here they are, 4"
said one and Mrs. Joyce's request
that they would not open it confirmed
the impression, 1t was eagerly opened,
and was found to contain a nursing
bottle aud other things for a baby.
An economical japanese family can
live on six cents day at nome but to
obtain the six cents is what causes the
suffering.
In Japan a sun shower is called 1.-THE
Foxes Wedding" In New England
the natives mysteriously remark, THE
devil is whipping his wife with a cod
fish tail.
Some men are always lucky. A hun
ter OF Brainerd, Mimi, while out in the
woods recently, discharged his gun to
clear out the barrel, and unknown to
him fine buck happened to be in
range and was shot through the heart.
Many British manufacturers and 9TH
er employers, have lately changed pay
day from Saturday to Monday for the
sake of the workmen, many of whom
have been in the habit of squandering
their wages in dissipation Oh Sunday.
A similar change is talked of in New
England.
New Orleans is mystifed by the sud
den appearance of a young stranger
who casually dropped into billiard sa-
loon the other day, said he'd try 6
game or two with the proprietor
though he didn't play much," and
since that time has used up every good
player that town cap produce, HI
says he is "Mr. Drew. from Texas,
but that sounds apOcryphal.
We had always supposed that behinC
the screens one sees strung across thu
back end of dressmaklng establish
ment, was where they keep the wood DO!
and coal scuttle, and innocently enougl
we started to go behind one the othe
day, to spit No, it wash. a ghost
for ghosts don't yell so, or jump over
cord OF boxes, and try to hide behind |
spool of thread, but there was enough
OF something behind them to keep u
in the front part of the shop after this
TN, Concnrd IN II \ Monitor saws