River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1876-11-02
TIE HAUNTED MAN.

You observe, | say it; for | cannot
amply actual distinction to the weird
little entity that tOrments me. At the
same time, though, find that | have
often called it sshim, and, in misty,
way, associated the thing
with the tricksy-loOking sprite who
stands with his hands upon his hips in
the Landseer picture OF Midsummer
Nights DREAM
The fact is, | have been haunted for
the past five years., the simple
calmly living, seventh-rate
literary man who pens those lines;
and my innocent bachelor life has
been made a torment to me by some
thing, of which, as you see, / ORly
dare speak in whisper.
You are shaking your head J Don't
say you are not. for feel it mentally;
and my perceptions are now those OF
the most acute. Let me hasten, then
to reassure you-tO enlighten you up
on the point you are quietly discuss
ing.
No: there has not been the slightest
manifestation of insanity in my fam
lily.
Again: my pulse gives with calm
regularity the proper number of beats
to the minute.
NY blood is of the normal temper
ature.
1t is not incIpient delirium tremens,
for was never inebriated but once in
my life, and then | was so dreadfully
i'll the next day that | made a vow,
which have religiOusly kept, and am
always considered an abstemiouS man.
So. once more, in a calm whisper, j
declare to you that | am haunted-be-
witched- Observation-Disclosures
Iooked-or in some way suffering from
a spell. In fact, there must be some
thing in the matter not hitherto
dreamed of in my philosophy, and /
tremble lest i'll should come OF it.
But let me txplain-let me give you
A sample of the kind of annoyance to
which | am subjected, and during
which it always seems to me that |
can hear the silvery tinkle of a very
small kind of laughter floating about
the room.
1t was only yesterday that Irequired
nv daily remembrancer-the diary IN
which l record the trifies of my life
and note my engagements. 1t was
gone.
That book lies on my study table, and
was put out by its loss. searched
book-case, drawers, in foliOS, among
papers, turned out my desk, got into
violent perspiTatiOn, went and bullIeC
the servant. rose into towering rage
and at last, quite exhausted, and fun
ing with annoyance, l threw mysell
into my chair-and found that diary
Where did | find it :!
I'll tell YOU: that little book lay il
its usual place upon tie study table.
Now. you may argue tor week, anC
You will not convince me that some
sprite had not hidden that book away
until it was tired of laughing at me
when the book was replaced.
Another specimen.
/ have a custom, drilled into me il
childhood. OF carefully folding ~!
clothes before retiring to rest. Inev
er kick one thing here and anOthe-
there. after the habitude of the reck
less, but place each garment ready t
be dOnneG in the morning. Now, an
ready to make affidavit that those
things are all right at night but whel
| have left rising till the last moment
| lust leaving myself sufficient time t.
dress and catch the train by which
am going with friend, there is inva
riably something wrong. Now it is
button off my trousers. II | get then
on, and find them all right, the tongue
is gone from my brace buckle. Or /
NAV be a stud dropped from my shirt
| the buttOn-hole split off my collar; or
more likely, a button grown over rip
and ready TO drop, swinging only b!
one thread from the most prominen
portion of my coat.
At another time [ hear the seTvan
come up with my boots, as lie in bed
| She bumps them down, as servants vii
bump boots down, and, in that pleas
| ant. semi-uncOnsciOus way in whicl
one lies of a morning before rising,
seem to see those boots, and / wOnde
whether they have been CAREFUL!
dried. for thespreviOus day was wet
| and have had horror of damp boot
| ever since | read somewhere that the,
were a prolific cause of catarrh. Thel
| wonder, too, why it is that servant
| have such peculiar notions reSpectin!
/ the anatomy of the human foot mas
| cuIine. and credit it with abnormal,
| turned-Out toes, from the way in whicl
| they always reverse male bOOts-thr
right on the left side, the left upOl
the right. They never do so will
boots feminine. | lie, then, seein.
| those misplaced boots there; ant
when | have made my plunge out, dom
my Tubing, and have arrived at tn
stage when | want those bOets, | opel
the door to get them, and they are no
there!
Now, am certain that they wer
| there heard the girl bring them
but all the same, after a few minute
| interval. ring sharply, and the mait
comes and knocks.
"My boots Pm waiting for them,
I say.
.Plee, Sir, they're out here" say
| the girl, in an ill-uSed tone.
NhereuDon | go Indignantly to TIT
door. with a brush in one hand, int,
which / have savagely driven the fel
low brush, so that they adhere togeth
er. and my hair all down over my fore
head.
Yes, there are the boots; and pu
wrong as to rights and lefts, as mat
ter Of course.
Now, how did these boots get away
and how did they come back For In
sure the girl did not bring them bacl
this time.
| told you how particular am about
folding my clothes at night. This ex
tends to garments that j do not weal
every day-dreSs coat, for instance
left in the drawer during tour OF
shooting expedition.
Now, it won't leave these garments
alone: and whenever | take them
out after absence. they invariably look
as if they had been used for the rails.
ing of money, and suffered from the
pawnbrOOker' roll, so evidently toe
often in the British workman S Sunday
coat, which is creased from top to bot.