, 1876-01-09
A SLEEPY TWIN

There are crimes which are committed SC
| ekillfully and deftly TINT they are classified
among the fine arts, and compel admiration.
There arc others which have features about
them SO comical as to compel laughter, al.
though they may in reality be Of very grave
character. TO the Inter class belong the
operations Of gang Of thieves at Osborn,
No., on last Friday night The town itself
hitherto has been unknown to fame. We do
not find it on the maps, neither is it included
in The last United States census, from the
fact probably that the people were all asleep
when the census-taker went his rounds
through that place. Geographically, how
over. it is on the Hannibal g. st. Joseph Rail-
road, and, as it contains two hotels, several
stores, and private residences, there must be
considerable population. In any event, there
were sufficient to attract the attention Oh an
enterprisingand thoroughly impartial gang Of
thieves, who went into the business by whole
sale and cleaned out the town They COM
menced operations by breaking into the drug
store, where they found sufficient chloroform
for all the inhabitants, black, white, and In
dians, men, women, and children. Aiming
themselves with the insidious aud somnolent
drug, they went the grand rounds from house
to house, including the two hotels, and ap-
piled the chloroform to the snoring noses, re-
gardess Of the nervous condition of the
patients or their edaptability to anaesthetics.
The drug worked to charm. The Town of
Osborn was speedily oblivious to the cares
Of this world or its pleasures. twas as dead
for the time being rs petri6ed forest or the
cctacombs, The thieves made short, sharp
work of it. Locks, bolts, and bars flew
asunder. Pantaloon-pockets were turned
inside ont. Old stockings and teapots vera
rummnged- Bureau-drawers were riaed
Weaknesses dissoreed their ticking contents.
Piilow-cases were turned up. Safes were
broken open. Cash-drawers were unlocked
In very short time there was contraction
Of the currency in Osborn, No. It was
town without dollar There was no prefer
ence displayed When the population woke
up from its abnormal condition all we're upon
The sans footing. One man had as much
money as another, and no one had any.
Rich mems safes and misers' old teakettes i
we're in the snme lean condition. Mean-
while the robbers gathered their plunder |
:ogether aud rode away in safety from the
7lo-ous town, leaving its Inhabitants snoring,
;runting, singing, signing, mud laughing, &C.
,ortling to their respective idiosyncrasies, as
:hloroformed patients are accustomed to do.
)ne can fainuy imagine the appearance Of the
population of Osborn, Mo-, when it arose on
saturday morning. Most people who take
:hloroform &C: and look when they re-
over from its effects as il they had
'een on gigantic spree, and this
must have been the appearance Of Osborn,
TO-, after its rom arkable night It is little
emarkable that the thieves did not carry out
heir anRsthetical programme to its strictly
ogica1 conclusion By pulling tooth from
ach womans jaw and saving of leg from
ach able-bolied male. The remarkable feat
re Of the affair, however. is the sleepy char
cteT OF Osborn. When the sleepiaess of
be principal city in Missouri is considered,
il not 50 remarkable, perhaps, that the VII
lges should be afflicted with the same COM
laint. II