Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-01-13
An Experiment That Was Baked by an
Interruption.

About week ago the New YORK LedQer
published the statement that man In
New Hampshire, who had been unable To
speak for five years, went to sleep one
night with quid OF tobacco in his
mouth and awoke the next morning with
his voice perfectly strong and smooth and
steady. Old Mr.. Jarvis, who lives ont ON
P0nd street, is sorely afflicted with an
impcdiment In his speech, and often says
he would give hundred dollars If he
could only TIT taw-taw talk fff.f fast
enough tt TO TT tell gug. guy gug grocer
what he WV wants bub.bub-bub before
he gug.g ug gets IL measured ont" He
takes The Ledger, and had taken 1t for
twenty three years, and he firmly believed
everything he ever read in 1t: Sylyanns
Cobb's stories, Mr.. Parton's Lives Of En-
inent Americans, the answers To CORE
spondents-Mr. Jarvis had taken them all
In and believed every word. He thought
that probably this quid.of-tobacco treat.
ment might help his voice lit
tie and he resolved 10 give 1t
good trial anyhow. The first trouble
was that he didn't chew, and Mrs.
Jarvis would never allow "a bit Of tobacco
about the house. But he begged a big
"chaw'' Of navy and when he went 10
bed he tucked it snngly away In his cheek
and prepared to sleep in hope. He had
his misgivings, and they grew in number
and strength as the quid began 10 assert
itself and be sociable, and assimilate itself,
with its surroundings. Mrs. Jarvis asked
him If he fastened the front gate.
Um," said Mr.. Jarvis, meaning that
he had.
"And are you sure you locked the front
door," queried his restless spouse.
"Um," replied Mr.. Jarvis, meaning
that he had not, for he was by this time
In no condition to open his mouth.
/" Hey 20 she replied,
"Um," persisted Mr. Jarvis.
"Whatf" she demanded.
"Um.m-m mr. protested Mr.. Jarvis.
"Well," said she, you can't make me
believe you are that near asleep this soon"
"Um.m.ml" said Mr.. Jarvis, meaning
that he would get up and bounce her out
Of chat front door If she didn't hold her
clack
Presently sue sat up in bed. Sniff,
sniff! John Jarvis" she exclaimed, |
"if 1 don't smell tobacco In this house
I'm sinful woman; Dontyou smell itY"
Interpretation is that he didfi S %nlSh y
thing and was going 10 sleep.
ut Is in this very room" she persisted,
cxcitedly.
"Um," said Mr.. Jarvis, meaning that
she must be crazy.
ats under the bedl' she screamed
There's burglar under the bed! Oh,
help! fire police John Jarvisl y And
she smote Mr.. Jarvis furious pelt In the |
stomach 10 waken him up.
Ii was terrific thump and Its first ct. |
feet was To knock all the atmosphere out
of Mr.. Jarvis lungs so far that he conld |
only recover his breath by a violent gasp, |
which first carried the quid Of tobacco |
and all the nicotine preparation that IL
had been steadily distilling down his
throat, and was Immediately succeeded |
by a tremendous cough, rs he struggled 10 |
rise up In bed, which shot the quid |
squarely In the eye of the shrieking Mrs.
Jarvis.
"Murderl murderr' she screamed,
- I'm stabbedl I'm stabbed!"
And John Jarvis choked and coughed |
and spit and coughed and choked and |
clutched Mrs. Jarvis by the throat and |
tried 10 choke off her noise, but he grew |
so "ill" that he couldn't hold his grip, |
and Mrs. Jarvis, the moment her throat |
was released from his trembling pressure,
rose from the hall. strangled gurgles to |
the sublimity Of double-edged screams,
and made Rome howl with melody. And |
the neighbors broke into the house and
found a bed. room that looked and smellcd |
like u jury-room or streetcar. with the
sickest man they ever saw lying with his
head over the side OF the bed grooming at
the rate Of u mile minute, and the worst
frightened woman since the flood sitting
up beside him screaming faster than he
groaned, while one Of her eyes was plas-
tered up with d black quid of tobacco.
And that Is the way MIR. Jarvis came TO
stop his Ledger and denounce II as the
most Infamous, mendacious, pestilent
sheet that ever disgraced American jour-
nalism. Huntington Hank Eye.