Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-06-28
Shutting Up Shop.

Tue Democratic House OF Represen-
tatIves has uninteutionally furnished
several hints toward retrenchment and
reform during its seven months session.
1t was, however, on Fridry last that it
really touched bottom, when it propos-
ed to save few thousands by abolish
ing the Signal Service--for that, in effect,
is what it proposed. 1t was not even
original in that. 1t borrowed the idea
from the wag who advertised In many
papers that, upon the receipt of the
trifiiDg SUN of one dollar, he would i'm
part to the sender the valuable inform
alton, 4" how TO save rent" AS bust
ness was not very brisk or remunera-
tive and rents rather high, he received
good many dollars. His valuable
recipe for saving rent was this Shut
up shop !" There was not among all
the applicants for information one SO
confUundediy stupid as to refuse to see
the point. To the mariner who cannot
comprehend the barometer that instru
ment is useless an6 represents an ex
travagant outlay. To the average 1n-
dian of the Plains the costly appoint
ments of frst-class observatory mus.
seem a fearful waste of money. To the
man who does not know enough to 90
indoors when it rains the Signal Ser
vice must appear costly extravaganza.
The average Democratic Congressman
cannot see any use for the Signal Ser
vice. Only twice 10 bis uneventful life
has be ever seen any use for an army
once during the war with Mexico, and
ag,in during the great and fearfully
destructive campaign of General Albert
Sidney dohnson against the Mormons.
We have obtained cur will as regards
Mexico, and the Mormons, remember
ing the punishment inflicted upon them
by General johnson, have voted the
Democratic ticket ever since. 10 addi-
ton, the famous brigade OF mule con-
tractors is revelling in the loot Of that
campaign and is satisfied. There is no
more slavery. therefore no demand for |
slave territory. The Mormons are all |
in hlrDcnT with Democratic policy, /
and there ara therefore no more Nor |
mons TO conquer.
Aud really there is not much more |
for that Democratic house to do. 1t /
has abolished the colored brigade. 1t
has cut down the pay of the men who
do cur little fighting. 1t has endeav
ored to convert our navy into feet of
fishing slnacks. 1t has saved few dol
lars here aud a few dimes there. Still
it has not done the real thing. We ad-
wise it to do the real thing and then 60
home and pettifog its little cases before
the local courts The real thing to do
is to shut up shop. Abolish the army.
Abolish the navy. Abo ish the mails.
Abolish the civil service. Maintain the
high courts, of course, because some of
these ffth-rate lawyers who are funny,
if anything will BY and-by want to take
the case of Peter Jones versus the town
pump up there aud argue it for month.
Let the judges be honorary; and in
order that they may not starve let them
be rich. Abolish the salary of the
President. Ard as the poor devils who
are intent upon saving the the expense
Of carrying on the government cannot
expect to return, they may as well
abolish Congress. The people would
be very much obliged to them were ,
they to do that. And as there will be |
no money to waste after the civil SER ,
vice shall have been abolished, perhaps (;
it viii be as well for them to abolish the ,
national debt. Think of the interest
charges, gentlemen. And then reflect
tnat had there been no Democratic ,
party there would have been no national
Gebt to speak of. The debt is . re- ,
proach to the Democratic party. just .
as the colored regiments hurt its feel Z
ings, the debt reminds its leaders of
their sins. Therefore, in the interest ,
of peace and sound sleep, and as an in- ,
si,-iion to pleasant dreams, sbollsh the ;
debt.
We are aware that the present House
has done the Republican party maay
good turus, but it is rather costly The ,
Republicans have got good start and
may be left to take care OF themselves
Il the House can find nothing else for
which to adjourn it might do SO out of
respect to the late Mr. Knott, the late
Mr. Springer, and the late master Tar
box. Mr.. Speaker pro ten Cox might
do worse than tell of the Democratic
members into their divisions and assign
TO them the pensive duty of escorting
the remains Of those unfortunate gen.
tlemeu to their former homes. The