Litchfield enquirer., 1876-11-02
CLIPPINGS

''Daniel Deronda" striped stockings have appeared as ''nove" idea. Sunday boots squeak because they have not been aisled for week. A printer invariably gets out of sorts when he reaches the bottom of his case.
 Wendell Phillips says seven-tenths of the husbands are frauds, without counting himself.
 A small earthquake was felt in China on- the 24th inst He'll Gate must have kicked.
 The pupils of one of the public schools learn to define valley as "an elongated depression. -.-..
 Ninety-nine out of every one hundred pairs of boots and shoes which go to the Centennial are new.
 China is becoming civilized. People there go fishing now on Sundays, just as they do in Christian countries. If the New York Board of Education re- fuses to employ married women as teach CTS, how does it expect them to support their husbands?
 "Dear father, come home," writes 8 Baltimore girl to Tiiden soldier in h. diana. He said, "Can't come, my dar- ling. Got in jail before voted."
 A strong TiIden man in the course of a political discussion the other day incident ally remarked that "s man who steals and isn't found out is honest enough" A Brooklyn glrl has just broken off her engagement with young man because be stood by and saw a dentist jerk piece of her jaw out without betraying any emo- tion.
 Mary Livermore says she turned her | face to the wall and wept, when she dis covered that she was a woman. It was a good idea, although a wall eyed woman is not particularly desirable.
 Talk of the genius of Mozart, or the grand conception of Beethoven, but if you wish to see the true inspiration of music, watch the one eyed bass drummer of country band on the last day of a fair.
 "No man was better inoculated to pre- judge pork than my husband was," says l Mrs. Burlington "He knew what good 1 hogs were, he did; he had been brought | up with 'em from childhood"
 A female preacher is sad to be writing "Comm entary on the Life of Joshua" It is reported that sine will observe that Joshua was successful with the sun. but he never commanded the daughter to be still.
 "Citizens," exclaimed ng-winded political orator, the other evening, "under the present condition of affairs where are you going?". "Home, by thunder!" an- swered retreating sovereign, and the house came down with yell. We call the attention of ''The Danbury News Man" to the fact that we have a lightning-rod man in jail, in this city. 1 There is Victory in the Air. Springfield CO., Republic.
 Never mind Victory. You hang on to that lightning rod man. He:-"Did any one ever see greater fool than awoman-her head covered with | false hair, her dress sweeping the ground, | made so tight that she can hardly breathe, and loaded with ruff1es, fringes and puffs?" 1 She:-"Yes, the man who admires her" Silence on his part.
 The following correspondence appears l
 To THE PROTESTANT PREACHER :- I send your spoons back. If your servant- 1 girl had been Protestant, you never would have got them again Yours. ! CATHOLIC PRIEST
 ''To THE CATHOLIC PRIEST: thank you for the spoons. If the girl had been a Protestant, she never would have stolen them. Yours,
 l PROTESTANT PREACHER. A young Danbury boy proposed to his father that he go fishing, but his father had other business for him that day. :. "Father," said the young man, ''do you know what Solomon said about boys go- ing tishing?"
 Solomon didn't say any thing about 1t. replied the parent. : '..Yes, he did: He said if you spare the rod you spoil the child" ::'I won't spare it." replied the old gen. telman. promptly.
 And he didn't, but the son thinks he | got hold the wrong rod.-Danburu Neaps
 One of the most amusing incidents of the campaign took place in Faneuil Hall.. at the Democratic Ratification meeting MT. Dorsheimer, after the music had sub- 1 sided. began by saying, "FaneuiI Hall is full to night" but here his voice was drowned by the confusion. When it subs sided he began again, saying, "Faneuil Hall Is full tonight" and then. pausino for rhetorical effect, he gave an opportu. nity for somebody to say, '.So IS Michael l Doherty." This statement made the old Hall fairly shake with laughter, and en- thusiastic cheers were gwen for Michael Doherty.