American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-01-08
MULTUM IN PARVO.

WHY is dogs tail like an elderly lady
Because it is in-frm.
CALIFORNIA is slightly more than twent
times the size of Massachusetts,.
A CORRESPONDENT asks: Should
hen feel proud when riding in cooT
eh?''
A NUGGET was picked up near Auburn
CAL, recently, valued at eighty four dol
lars.
WE know all about shooting stars, bu
we often forget that this world of ours is
revolver.
KEROSENE smiles at that Boston gas &C
cident and asks: "Now who's the mos
dangerous ~
FIRES in the South have about got away
with the cottOn-gins, and now they are go
| ing for the rice mills.
WHY is pig the most provident of ami
mails? Because he always carries spare
rib or two about him.
THE Health Office at Los Angeles, Ca. .
has been declared vacant for the winter
months, as a measure of economy.
| AN ALTERNATIvE-The legal course
which is open to England if the Khedive
don't pay his interest-Sue his canal.
| A MINER named Miller, near Butte
City, Mont, is reported to have found
in an ordinary gravel rock a specimen of
surface gold worth $500.
A NEW ORLEANS clerk tried to kill
| himself the other day, but after shooting
himself twice in the head without bring
ing himself down he gave it up in dis
gust.
THE MayfOwer wasn't a great steam
ship with all the latest Improvements and
| cOnveniences, or the chances are an ocean
disaster would have beaten us out of our
I torefathers.
SALUTAroRY of the new editor of the
morning. We intend publishing Demo-
cratic paper If you don't like it you
needn't read it,
AFTER the clergyman had united a
happy pair, not long ago, an awful silence
ensued, which was broken by an impatient
youth exclaiming: "Don't be so un-
speakably happy
90 IT is all very we'll for you, my dear;
but when NY husband grumbles and says,
why don't smart myself up in the fash
ion, tells him beauty unadGrned don't
want no adornments.
PHILOSOPHERS say that shutting the
eyes makes the sense Of hearing more
acute. A wag suggests that this accounts
for the many closed eyes that are seen in
our churches every Sunday.
n LEAlNGION HAL HAS Uccu Sclt u
prison for two years for stealing an UNI
brella. That's light sentence, but it
shows praiseworthy disposition in. Ken
lucky not to let great criminals escape
altogether.
ONE of the rules of the Wayne County
(Mich.) Medical Society is somewhat Stan
tonian in its character: " No member
shall give information in regard to cases,
for publication, to any member or repre-
sentative of the press.
DURING last summer 1,7OO persons,
mostly tourists from the East and from
Europe, visited the petrified forest in Santa
Rosa Township, Cal. The forest contains
about 300 trees, the largest of which is
eleven feet In diam eter at the butt.
"No, GEORGE" she said, in response to
his question, &c it is not true that a string
of new belt-buckles in shop window
would make any woman lose train;
butt she added, musingly, sometimes
she might have to run a little.''
A MEDDLEsoME young man who fooled
around huckster's wagon a few days
ago was both panied and surprised to
suddenly find himself sitting in the gutter
on his head, with dislocated shoulder
joint. The "power behind the thrown"
was mule.
THE directors of the Cumberland & Ohio
d
short line from Cincinnati to Nashville,
have determined to adopt the narrow
gauge of three feet instead of the one in
general use, with view of reducing the
cost of the road.
A DANBURY man, wishing to engage
several bushels of potatoes from party
in the suburbs, asked a neighbor what
sort of man he was. Well,' said the
conscientious neighbor, 81 don't know
much about him, but 1 should think he
would make a tip-top stranger"
AN absent-minded youth went three
miles into the woods to look, for cartridges,
At last he espied one of these shy birds of
the forest, and when he got ready to take
aim he discovered for the first time that,
although his powder and shot were with
him, he had left his gun at home.''
ABERNETHY, the great physician, said
that glass of ale before bedtime is azure
for sleeplessness. Another authority says
that holding the hands in water will bring
slumber to the eyelids. Now arrives a
writer in Moore's Rural Mem Yorker who
recommends a heartfelt prayer as RENE
dy for those to whom Morpheus does not
easily come.
IT is a truly awful thing to hear the
wife of your bosom say: I'm really get
ting uneasy about that letter to Julia. 1t
ought to have reached her Thursday, and
an answer was due yesterday. The mails |
are SO slow and uncertain when one is
most anxious 1t is an awful thing at
that moment for a man to put his hand in
his pocket and find the letter that he was
specially requested to mail a week ago
Nilaoaukee Sentinel.
To ORNATE the trouble of arranging |
their hair every day, and to save the ex-
pense of a maid, many ladies, who glory |
in the fact that they are fashionable" |
wear a wig. The wig is dressed by pro-
fcssional wig maker once month, and
thus every new fashion can be kept up
with. This is not Islander on the sex, /
but a fact, and can be proved in open
court. Heads and wigs are rcady!-Nep
York Mail.
ONE of the New York reporters has in
vented Il story about Rubenstein, the al
legged Jewish murderer, which temporari-
ly throws all other works of fiction into
the shade. The substance of it is that
a few days before the murder
was committed, contracted with Il poor
Israeiitc TO assume all the burden of his
sins for one year. The nominal compen-
sation for this service was forty-1ve dol
lars.
A GRAND JURY at Louisville, Ky, has
been investigating bets on the late city
election, and thus far has returned ten in |
two of which are against mem
Dcrs of the City Council. Betting on the
ate election was very much INDUCED in
prior to voting day. Some made bets of
IS much as 100000. According to the
avs of the State all money won in betting
IN elections shall be contiscated by the