The daily Argus., 1876-04-01
roM WILLrAMs's coRNEr.
How "the Boys" Took It for an Infer
nal Machine and Put up Job
on q Billy Goat.
From the La Crosse Sun.


About twenty years ago the papers were
full of an internal machine that had been
found, and which came near blowing up a
family. We were living in Whitewater at
the time, and everybody was talking about
the deyilish contrivance. One morning IN
the summer. little black walnut box was
discovered under the stairs east of Cole S
block. 1t was about foot square, and
had coffin handle on top. The first man
who noticed it was uncle Wakely, who
lived across the street, He had been
reading about the internal machine, and
he went into the store aud told Mr.. Cole
there was suspicious looking box under
the stairs. Mr.. Cole and the clerks looked
at it and shook their heads, and soon it
was noised around the streets that an in
fernal machine had been found. and hun
dreds of people focked to see it, but ali
kept at safe distance. Finally Winches-
ter stepped out of the crowd. and walked
to wards the box, as though he was going
to pick it up, and every man held his
breath, expecting to see Winch" blown
into million pieces. But Winch" did
not touch it, Then j. L. Pratt went a
little nearer and said he didn't believe
there was anything so very dangerous
about it. Then he turned pale and said
he must go up to the shop. Prop. J"
Cravath looked over Dick Uonnor's head
and said if he could get through the
crowd he would examine it, The crowd
separated for him to examine it, but he
said he could see well enough from where
he stood. Some one told him to put his
foot on it. He wore number eighteens, but
he always was particular about his feet
Finally Seth Billings, the constable, came
along, when he found it wasn't fight, and
they asked him to examine it. He said he
would if he had time, but he had g5t to 60
out on Hackett's Island to attach a yoke of
steers. Then Sep" Wintermute came
over and they held a consultation as to
the safest way to find out what the con-
founded thing was. Wintermute had a
billy goat that was everlastingly butting
boys in the large of the back. He could
never see boy going from him without
bucking him one right on the patch of bis
pants. 1t got so that no boy ever thought
of going from the hotel to the mill. when
the goat was around, without walking
backwards and watching the goat. 1t was
finally decided to rig the box up with q
| pair of pants and things, so that it would
look like boy down on his hands and
knees playing marbles, and let the goat
see it, and he would take run and jump
and buck the box for all that was out.
Wintermute said he would risk his goat il
they would risk their Internal machine.
50 they got pair of pants and fixed it up,
by the use of long sticks, so that it looked
good deal like Brewers youngest boy
and they drove the goat around by tie
stairs. The goat saw what he supposed
was boy, on his hands and knees, with
the ham sandwich of his pants in the
proper position, and the goat laughed. He
looked at it, backed up about 10 feet
bleated couple of times, and went for i
at the rate of about 40 miles an hour
The crowd surged back expecting an earth
quake. There was a crash, and the goa
came out with pair of boys pants on on,
horn and an K fiat silver cornet on the other
The box belonged to Tom Williams, Leader
of the Whitewater Band, and now o
Severence and Williams Band Milwaukee
He had left his box under the stair
while he went down to the mill, and whcl
he saw the crowd, and came back. an
found his new silver cornet on that goat
horn, and smashed out of shape. his feel
ings can be imagined We never saw
crowd so ashamed, and now you can't fine
a man in Whitewater that will admit tha
he was there at all. The boys bough
Tom a new horn, which he plays ever,
Sunday, now, at Myron Reeds church il
| Milwaukee