The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-06-01
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
If men would set good examples, they
might hatch better habits.
Our little kitten came out of the
shadow the other day, and finding the
only spot on the floor that was sunny,
Immediately lay down there and began
to purr. Go thou and do likewise.
THIS is the way Council Bluffs Alder
men answer to their names: Alderman
Hammer You bet :" Alderman Scott
- Present by the skin Of my teeth"
Alderman Heating 81 Dye see me
now;" Alderman james" Present
unanimously"
A TRAIN on the Northern road ran
into COW the other day. It didn't
hurt the COW, but it threw the engine off
the track. People accustomed to the
beefsteak furnished in the boarding
houses of this section express much
surprise at the slight damage done to
the train. Norscich Bulletin.
INDICATIONS Of strawberry short-cake
are already apparent in the restaurant
windows, where an eruption of annun-
ciatory placards may soon be expected.
Fashionable pastry tailors state that the
spring fashions in short-cake do not
differ materially from those of previous
years. Cakes will be cut bias, and very
scantily trimmed with berries. Two
shades of saleratus will be very general
" employed. Chicago Tribune.
The Austin (Nevada) Reueille tells of
man who had played too much pedro
for the drinks, and who, to sober off,
followed the sound of the church bells
to church. During the sermon the min
ister gave q glowing description of
Heaven and its delights, describing it
as q city paved with gold, its ways COW
cred with beautiful foliage and the air
redolent with the perfume of orange
blossoms; but, in the midst Of the de-
scription, the congregation were star
tied by the rancher, who, nudging his
next ncighbor and winking knowingly,
whispered in whisper that was heard
throughout the church: five been
there-that's California;
I A NEW style Of paragraph has come
into fashion which threatens to crowd
out the old-fashioned one-hundred-
and-nineteen-year-old-man, woman
with ke-in-her-stomach, girl-who-
swallowed-a-needle, baby born -with-a
fnll-set-of-teeth lies that used to be SO
popular with the papers. It is the boys
who swallow live animals. It started
at Cohoes, New. York, with q boy who
was lying asleep with his mouth wide
open when mouse ran down his throat,
but was brought out Of the boys stom-
ach, alive and squealing, when the doc
tor administered powerful emetic.
The new style rapidly winged its way
Westward. A boy at Columbus, Ohio,
swallowed two mice; an Indianapolis
boy swallowed n very large mouse; a
Watseka, Illinois, boy got weasel
down that was brought up with great
pain and difficulty; and boy in Peoria
swallowed q young rat that has not been
heard of since. The paragraph didn't
strike Burlington until yesterday morn
ing, and we had q full-grown Norway
rat rampant in q West Hill boys stom-
ach, and had just got Maltese cat
started down after it, with knot in her
tail to keep her from going out Of
reach, when q telegram was received
announcing that the Cohoes editor, be-
ing at the point of death and stricken
with remorse to see the narrowing ef-
fects of his item, had confessed that it
twas . lie, and had taken it all back. We
then called off our cat, and that poor
boy will have to wander around with
his stomach full of kid gloves until some
reckless paragraphist again tempts the
innate truthfulness of our too cOnfding
and over crednlous nature. Burlington
HdsOseye.
COCKROACHrS diaapreeahle