The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-07-27
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Rents that farmers are complaining
of-torrents.
He Is called Sitting Bull because he
never sits down, apparently:
The real name of that nation is Da-
kota. The other is only Siouxdonym.
"A Georgia hotel advertises: :" Music
three times day. Teeth examined be-
fore each meal"
The International Typographical
Union have selected Louisville, KY, as
the place of meeting for 1877.
These are heavy. pressure times.
Floods, tornadocs, Indian massacres, lake
disasters, grasshoppcrs, tramps, politics.
-Longfellow says "men of genius are
often dull in society; as the blazing me.
teor when it descends to earth is only q
stOne.'' .',
The prospect that the Washington
monument is likely really to be completed
is as appalling, from its oddity, as a fifty
three pound tumor.
Fame is waiting for the man who
shall invent a torpedo by which small boys
may be secretly exploded, without danger
to civilized creatures.-CAicago 1ribuns;,
"A Louisiana wife tried to poison her
self because her husband, in prayer.
meeting, had fcrvently said amen to the
petition of girl of whom she was jeal-
Gus.
The cheerful are usually the busy.
When trouble knocks at your door, or
rings the bell, he will generally retire
if you send him word you are cen
gagged"
The Boston Globe hes a special dis.
patch under the head of "A Startling
Rumor from st. LOUIS Following it up
it proves to he an announcement of res
iSnation in base ball club.
In Japan everyone who cuts down q
tree is required to plant one in its stead,
and we who are cutting down our wood
with reckless improvidencc propose to
teach these heather the art of thrift. .
Our civil war opened with a Bull
Run, and our Indian war with Sitting
Bull. 1t seems to be necessary that our
military campaigns should open with a
bull of some kind.-Cincin,dti Times.
Boston ladies train their parrots to
say "Good-by; good-by, ALL" and keep
them in the parlor when they have calf
crs. The hint always takes like the whiz
of an alarm clock at the head Of domcs-
tics bed.
The few men who are still earnest adj
vocatcs of the theory that lager beer does
not intoxicate, still cling fondly to the
good old custom of winding the clock, at
two a. m, with hair brush.-Burlington
Hamh-Eye.
"A Georgia man who has been kicked
ny a black eyed girl, offers to pay re-
ward of $500 for information which will
lead to the conviction of an individual
who broke up the engagement between
himself and Ills sweetheart.
-" Mcancr than dirt some folks say,
but let them run into Il storm at sea or in
habit burning vessel once, and if they
ever set foot on solid land again, you
won't have to listen very hard to hear
The Canadians are considerably
troubled over the suspension of the Extra.
dition Treaty. They anticipate an influx
of defaulters and criminals of higher
grades that will make the Dominion q
Botany Bay for the United States.
During the recent tornado couple OF
Pennsylvania boys were up in cherry
tree stealing cherries. The tornado
carried off the cherry tree, and neither the
boys nor the tree have been seen since
Moral: Never tell lie.-Bo*ton Post.
Junior parsing): "Nihil is a noun. -
Professor: What does 1t come from ?'
Student: It don't come at ALL" Pro-
fessor (quizzing): Doesn't it come from
Nihilo?'' Student: "No, sir; er nihilo
nihH it'll" Professor settled Niago,u
Inder.
They have curious way OF deciding
law suits in North Siam: both parties are
put under cold water, and the one staying
the longest wins the suit. In this country
both parties are thrust into hot water and
the one that stands 1t the longest also
wins.
"A Penn Yam (Pa.) pig was recently
born which had one head, two eyes, three
nOstrils, one mouth, four ears, two sets of
brains, a portion of two bodies, two tails,
and eight legs, two of them being located
on its back. With so many members al.
ways present this remarkable pig may be
playfully mentioned as quorum.
The New York Mail has been study.
ing the subscription question, and has
reached the following conclusion: "Go
to the average citizen with an appeal for
starving fellow-creature, and you may
get a penny, and you may not; out show
him that you can waste a thousand dollars
in five minutes in noise and smoke, and
he will Immediately give you his check
for the thousand, and thank you for call.
ing"
1t is said that if man is walking fol
health and enjoyment, four miles an hour
is the best gait. This may be true as re.
CARDS health, but for enjoyment we re.
member one night when it took us fou1
hours to walk mile. 1t happened, how.
ever, that the old folks had gone to camp
meeting, and she had the night-key, and,
as far as health was concerned, we didn't
really care if it took all night
Nor1cich Bulletin.
"A correspondent of the Springfield
(Mass.) Republican relates this anecdote OF
the late Judge Barbour, Of Hartford.
Conn.,: "On one occasion he was making
a speech in town meeting on some sub.
ject in which he was much interested,
when, waxing warm, he exclaimed: Il
tell you, gentlemen, that a new town farm
is not neetlcd-it would cost too much. l
can prove it by figures that have got
right here in my pocket. l got them
from the records, and know what an
talking about. Here they are Putting
his hand into his coat-pocket, he drew
out document gazed at it a moment, and
exclaimed in the same oratorial tones: i
declare, here's letter for John Bucks
wife that he gave me on the cars and
forgot to mail Holding it up to view,
he added: Is anybody here going tina,
way to night?' The shouts of laughter
that greeted him reminded the Judge Of
his position, and, realizing the situation,
he enjoyed the joke as hugely as any OF
his audience" ~ 49,
The Railroad Robbery in Missouri.