The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1876-12-29
miscellaneous.
SHE WANTED THINGS TO FIT.

Two ladies, mother and daughter,
entered the store of Carlinville, Hi.
nois, merchant the other day. Trade
had been dull, and the store keeper
was glad to see customers.
Me and Sarah is Jest lookin', mis-
ter. It's not likely We'll buy much TO
how, so you can set still and never mind
US till we see what we want"
That is what the mother said when
the merchant wished to show them his
goods. When taey had taken a good
look they proceeded to business.
Me and Sarah wants stockings, mis-
ter. We don't want none Of them
cheap kind, like every gal in Macoupin
wears, but we want 'em sort of open
worked and genteel."
I'VE have fine assortment Of the
regular made English from frames, or,
perhaps, you prefer the bolbrigganF' p
said he.
No, prefer stockings, mister; so
/ does Sarah. i have heard tell about
them new fashioned things from Chic
ago that a great many was wearing,
glove corsets, and hustle, and don't
know what: but me and Sarah don't
know nothing about such things. TIL,
mans mighty .closeand Imean with his
money and never give us women q
chance till now"
These are the latest styles ofstripes
in hose; perhaps something like this
will please you. said the merchant hold
ing up pair.
No they wont; no, sir. I've been
a member of the Baptist Church nigh
on forty years, and Sarah's likely to
jine some day, but we never wore any
thing like that in the family reck
ed those stockings were made for the
poor unfortunates in States prison. =
The merchant was astonished at the
singular suspicion of his customers, and
hastened to show them his whole stock
of hosiery. He also endeavored to
convince them that stripes were in
the fashion. The old lady was unwiIl-
ing to believe the story. He answered
her, that not only did ladies of the
highest standing wear them but they
also had habit of holding up the dress
skirts little so as to display this fancy
hosiery.
"You don't mean to say that they
want every body to look at their
striped stockings?" the old lady in
quired eagerly.
That is just what l mean to say,
madam, and almost all of our first
ladies in Macoupin wear them.r
Then, Sis, git off your shoes and
stockings, quick, 1 must know how
them striped ones is going to look"
To the establishment of the merchant,
the young lady proceeded to take off
the old and put on the new.
Now JEST you parade up and down
here, and hold up your skirts little
and let Inc see how it looks" said the
old lady. BY this time the merchants
two clerks were each trying to swallow
a spool of cotton to keep from laugh
ing outright. The old lady noticed
their depravIty and resented it.
You needn't laugh, young men.
I've been fooled afore low buying
things that didn't fit"
The trial was satisfactory. The
daughter was made happy in the own
ership OF two pairs of the most fash
ionable. "Now / want to see some of
the very stripedest, mister"
why, ma, are you going to wear
striped stockingsl Idon't believe they
will look nice for you"
won't they? You're going to see
whether they will or not as soon as he
finds bis very stripedest. And, young
men. you've no call to stand there
grinniDg in that way. I'm bound to
get things to fit."
The wicked clerks disappeared in a
moment to have their laugh cut. The
old lady gravely arrayed herself in the
very stripedest, then she gathered her
skirts up after the approved fashion,
and marched up and down the store.
questioning her daughter and merch-
ant as to the precise effect. It was all
satisfactory till there came q prolonged
shout from one of the clerks who was
peeping at the odd sight, and could
not restrain themselves any longer.
Il wonder If them simpletons is look
ing and laughing. Let'em, who caresi
Now mister, You can put up two pairs
of them for me. I've been atryin' and
atryin' for years to git sonethii 9 that
would astonish nay old man. 80 that
mebby bed open bis wallet. II this
don't do it, I reckon I'll have to quit.
Hold up your skirts, Sic. Goodby,
mister"
And that part of Maccupin was set
10 grinning by fashionable display of
H. 4.-. ~<.s~~l...f,