The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-10-10
raE SPIRIT OF DEMOCRACY, y
Tuesday. October 10. 1876,
RELIGION.
The Kind simon SIrtnger BeItev-
ed ln.

CNH
Brunswick News
Simon Stringer was a bluff old far
mer. He prided himself upon being a
plain, matter-of-fact man, about whom
there was no foolishness or sentiment.
On more than one occasion he had NOR
titled his wife and daughters by hustling
them out Of religious meetings when
they had begun to show signs of emo
ton. He said he didn't believe in "mi-
rakerlous conversions" and that peo
pie who cried and yelped over getting
religion, "wasn't gittin' it by burned
sight" He believed that the genuine
article was soothing and calming, and
lot exciting in its influence.
Once the Campbelites held protract'
ed meeting in his neighborhood, aud as
it was carried on without any sudden
outburst of feeling, Simon took kindly
to it, and attended regularly. One Sun.
day morning he told his vile to lay him
out two suits Of clothes.
"Why, Simon" exclaimed she in her
shrill tones, "whatever do you want
with two suits of clothes" ?"
"That's my businessmen yours" he
replied gruf1y. "You lay out my black
suit for me to put on, and wrap the
brown one up in bundle. and don't ask
any fool questions"
His wife, wonderingly but silently
complied, and Simon donned one suit,
and with the other under his arm. noun
ted his horse and rode away, followed
by the anxious eyes of the big and lit
tie Stringers, who marveled greatly, and
said one to another: whats dad goin'
to do with his t'other clothes p
Simon didn't return till supper time
He took his place at the table, which
was the usual signal for the family to
begin an onslaught upon the victuals,
but on this occasion his voice arrested
every arm in its descent, and for the
second time that day astonished the
Stringers. G!ancing around the startled
circle, he thus delivered himself:
81 want it understood that the head
of this household has this day been bap
tised. He is a follower of the meek
and lowly Jesus, and the first critter at
this table that dips into anything afore
a bIessin' is asked II git snatched bald
headed. Drop yer eyes, We htathen !"
The blessing was asked, and that meal
was eaten in silence 60 10 u
After the chores were done, the Strin-
gers we're stringing off to bed, when
the stern voice of the old man again ar
rested them, and filled their minds with
grave forebodings as to what was COM
ing next He addressed them as fol-
lows. f.a
Come into this room, every devil of
you. and fl ,p down on your knees. II
is my duty as devout Christian. TO
have family worship, and I'll have it,
too. and have respectful attention. or
I'll bust some domestic ties asunder =
This mansion must resound with praises
to the Most High, or it will resound
with some one gittin' hell of a thrash
in'-I mean, bein' severely cllastised -.
The first one who smokers, or makes
any onseemly noise, III git up and throw
acheer through him, or her, as the case
may be. Let US pray" g
The prayer was prayed, and never
was there more attentive audience ESQ
This sort of thing continued about
two weeks. and the Stringer family was
kept in state of extreme misery The
younger members had been severely
whipped for conduct unbecoming the
children of true believer, and the older
ones had received such harsh repri
mands for failing to fall into The new
order of things and comport themselves
with due dignity.
Then one morning Simon came in,
with bad limp, battered milk pail,
and the knee of his pants torn. Drop.
ping into chair at the table, he plum
ged his fork savagelv into the nearest
dish. Tue children looked up from the
backs of their plates, questioningly, and
their mother squeaked, why, Simon"
shut up, and eat!" he growled, and
then in few moments added: IN "a
"This blessin' and prayer, business is
suspended fur awhile. don't furgit
my obligations an duties as a Christian,
an I'll resoom 'em arter I've conquered
thatdvl.dinged red beifer The 'farIfal
critter presooms too much on my Chris
,ian furbearance Durn q hypocrite ]
won't pray when my soul amt into it ~
It's too great strain. Fur the time
helm ! have descended from grace
Pass the tomattusses. I" IS W
A sigh of relief went round the cir
Gle, and if the red heifer had known
how she had risen in the esteem Of 9
majority Of the Stringers, her fractions
soul would have leaped for joy. h
That was several years ago, and now
the red heifer is COW, and the worst
one in the neighborhood. The Strin.
gers say, as they punch and plague her
as longs we keep Old Red wild, dad
won't git any more O. that awful rel
inn so s,-lf