The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-03-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
SOME one has said that the three
hardest words to pronounce consecutive
ly are, 81 was mistaken" Let the per-
son who made this assertion try his ar
ticulating powers ON the names of lakes
in Maine-these, for instance: Huknz-
tyabob, Zitzmornumgohic, Mahogapra-
gohgug. s'.r ,a,
BAYARD TAILOR says that a black
eyed woman can never love as fondly
as those with blue eyes,, Mr. Taylor's
experience must be very limited, or he
would know that black-eyed woman,
even if she does not spend, quite as
much time in signing as her fairer els
ter, can love more in FIVE minutes than
blue-eyed woman can in q year.-Cni-
cag0 Times. l'a9ts'9 ifitis3'1E dt T9Asitf
WE lately met an old negro trudging
along with a heavy side Of bacon that
he had bought swinging over his should
er. We noticed he was miserably clad,
and we felt sorry for him, for cold
wind was blowing. We demonstrated
with him. stWhy do you spend your
money for meat? You'd better buy
coat. - 3 The old man stopped, looked
us full in the face for few moments,
and said, in the most solemn tones,
"Massa, when Tax my back for credit,
it gibs it; when Ispeak to dis,' Claying
his hand upon his stomach) sit calls
for de cash. ''2'13 4s4' ~ %SNt ghp "th
THERE is something Sc sensible in the
following that tits worth setting down:
The young woman who deliberately
goes late to church, to attract attention
as she scrapes down the aisle, is fooE
ish virgin. The young man who, plast7
ers his hair down tight to a low, re-.
treating forehead, bridges his nose with
eyeglasses and wears a loud cane when
he comes late to. a concert, and strikes
attitudes before the audience at the door
while he glares about for a seat, and
then stalks to it with the proud air of q
prize mule at a county fair, is snob. 81
ONE night trombone-player wished
to be absent from the orchestra Of a
New York theater, and as there was. an
other trombone, instead of asking leave
of the leader, he resorted to the expedi-
ent of getting friend to 60 in and take
his seat. "Watch the other trombone"
said he to his friend, "puff out your
cheeks well, keep your finger active,
look alive, and you will pass muster
All went right until passage for two
trombones was reached. nj Not a sound
| from the instruments was heard! 1t
turned out that both trombone players
had resorted to the same ruse. t.,,.a
"YoUNG ladies have the privilege Of
saying any thing they please during
leap-yea she said, cycling him out Of
the corners of her eyes with . sweet
look. His heart gave a great bound,
and, while he wondered if she was go
ing to ask the question which he had SO
long desired and feared to do, he an
swered eyes" "And the young men
must not refuse" said She. "No, no!
How could thsyp'' sighed he.d swell,
then," said she, "will you He
any thinglyou ask, darling-'r'H 'fWa1t
till ! get through. Will you take walk,
and not hang around ohi. house 30
much?" And he walked - OIL City. Der
rick.
J. "YoU ,see," said the respondent man
.on the pickle barrel, addressing the
grocer, who was spearingIt the top of a
cracker box with the cheese knife
f"you see, some people has good luck
and some people has bad luck. D Now 1
remember once I was walking along
the street with iTom Jellicks, and he
went down one side of it and ] went
down the other. We hadn't gone
more'n halfway down when he found a
pocket-book with $261. in il, and, I
stepped on a woman's dress, and so got
acquainted with my present wife. It
was always so.,' said he, with a sigh;
"that Tom Jellicks was the luckiest
man ID the world, and 1 never had no