The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-06-09
WHOLE NO. llO6.
Pith and Point.


SILENT deeds are better than unpro6t-
able words.
In what key would lover write pro-
posal OF marriage2 Be mine, ahl
The first gambler mentioned in scrip
ture was Alpha. Alphabet-every one
knows.
WHY doesn't Secretary Robeson have
hash introduced into the navy as means
of deadly warfareG It's the very best
thing in the world to repel boarderH.
HERE is model verdict of coroner's
jury "We do believe, after due in
quiries, and according to our best knowl-
edge, that we do not know how, when
and where said infant came to his DEATH
ENGLISH sparrows have built their
nests in the nostrils of horse on which
is placed O statue of Washington, at
Richmond, Va. 1t don't affect the
horses swallow at all, and its neat
tribute to that on-nest man George w.
PRoF. CRooKEs discovers that the
light of candle weighs 0.00172S grains.
A lamp light is of course still heavier.
This is the reason why young folks some
times turn down the lamp. BY the way
isn't it funny fact that light is heavy9
"SAPPHo was about the first woman
Who struck a Tyre. There may have
been other women as able as herself, but
the Tyres were scarce" Sappho could
have struck q heap of them in Con-
gress assembled. Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
RATHER remarkable, amt it, sir But
ave you never noticed as mostly all the
places on this line begins with a HI
Aw, beg your pardon? Look at emf
'Amstead, 'Ighate, 'Ackney, 'Omerton,
Arrow, 'Olloway and 'Ornsey Punch.
How HAD you the audacity, JOHN"
said Scottish laird to his servant, "to
go and tell some people that / was q
mean fellow and no gentleman 2" "Na,
na, sir, was the candid answer, you'll
no catch me at the like O. that. I have
kept my thoughts to myself"
A SCIENTIST says Eventually, as our
globe contracts, there will be only thir-
teen days in the year" 1t will be Jolly
to have Christmas, Mardi Gras, and the
Fourth of July in the same week, and be
able to remind the creditors that come
nosing around that the legal holidays
must be respected.
Upon the rink the lady sat,
Beside her lay her dainty hat
All crumpled;
She looked the picture of Distress
SO dusty was her pretty dress,
And rumpled!
81 can't get up" in faltering tone
She said. thought that. perhaps, alone
She would not.
picked her up. She was not hurt
Twas hut the tightness Of her skirt
She could not
Punch.
A New YORK State man labors under
the hallucinatiOn that his wife is q
shingle nail, and he keeps hammering
ut her.-DetrOit Free Press. Well,
what's the woman growing about2 Did
she expect to preserve her shingle
blessedness after she yielded to the
hammerous appeals of that New York
State man 2-Philadelphia Bulletin.
HAPPY swain-(she has "named the
day')-" And now, dearest Edith, that
is all settled. With regard to jewelry,
my love, would you like set in plain
gold, Or" Edith economical and
courageous, and who suffers q good deal
from toothache)-" Oh, Augustus, now
you ask me-do you know-I-really-
but-Mr. Clinch told me yesterday that
he could extract all / have and put in q
beautiful new set for only fifteen
guineas Punch.
A eENTLEMAN stopping at a fruit stand
and inquiring the price of some pine
apples displayed was dissatisfied, and
said so. The dealer replied that he
didn't make any profit on the fruit, any
how, keeping it merely for show. The
possible purchaser then remarked that
pineapples were not very good eating,
and the dealer answered that pineapples
were nice if they were only fixed rightly
sliced thin, soaked in sugar for few
hours, seasoned with lemon and nutmeg,
and then taken in sherry wine. The
only remark of the other man as he
turned on his heel and walked away
was: "Why, turnips would be good
that way |"