Litchfield enquirer., 1876-07-27

 A Norwich man who sells onions is down in the directory as dealer in bulbs. Sudbury. in Massachusetts,, was to have been called SunbuFy, but the man who named it had a bad cold in his head.-NOr- riStotcn HerGld.
 Dom Pedro is anxious to meet the poets of America. So were We before we went into the newspaper business.-Wcr- cester Press.
 "Who frew dat peanut at mel" asked . darkey when struck on the eranium with sand bag thrown out of balloon. Itisa great comfort to bald headed men, in these red-hot, star-spangled Cen ] tennial days, to reflect that the eagle. too, is .bald-headed.
 "John Smith has killed . man in Ken. lucky" The Chicago TfnGs hopes that this chance to get rid of the internal scoundrel will not be neglected.
 Tn these hard times, when borrowing is SO difficult, we'd like to know whether distance still keeps up it's time -honored habit of lending epchantment to the view.
 "Landlord, did you ever have gentle man stop with you beforeY' @Are you a gentleman" asked the landlord. "Yes, Iam." "Then never had one stop with me before." Mir. Emerson thinks that men should trust each other more, and there seems to be a general feeling hereabouts that he is the man to open 2 small grocery in this section. a A Detroit florist is getting up a lan- guage of vegetables" If you hit man much of your relatives way back for seven generations"
 They have lately seen Boss Tweed in Paris, London, Vienna, Hamburg, Aus tralia, India, Cape Town and Kansas City. The old man doesn't stop anywhere over fifteen minutes Detroit Press.
 Glycerine is good for croup.-Nev York HerdId. Who said anything about croup? What is good for Herald man whose toes turn in ?-Detroit Free Press. Nitro-Gly- cerine.-ChicGgO Times.
 Chemical Student, reciting-"we- see then that heat has tendency to expand all bodies" And the diminutive Fresh who sits next to the stove chuckles and "PPAAoO AAAAOOA 'A6OAOUOAy " SAO SOoS scuttle.
 '@rhis is beautiful weather, aint it?'' said 8 man to a neighbor whom he was pass- ing. "Yes," replied the neighbor, Git is. And don't you think the weather is sufFlci- ently settled now so that you can bring back that pan of potatoes your wife bOr- rowed last falI2"
 A New Bedford paper speaks of man, whose munifcent though unostentatious charities have won him the love and esteem of every one. Of course we know who is meant, though we didn't think when we dropped that ten cent piece into the contribution box that it was going to get around so.
 r -e~z-, ---~, wasn] Fngland mother of this country% "Yes, my sen. you ought to know that" "Well, want George Washington it's fatherP' "why, yes, of course" "Well, ma, wot want to inquire is" "You go right out and split that wood, or I'll inquire you"
 Scene in 8 recitation room: "The Ancient Egyptians were in the habit of sacrificing red-headed girls to the devil" Auburn-haired student: "What did they do with the red-headed boysS" Prof: "They supposed they would go of their own accord. -EI.
 ''Where's the bar2" asked dirty and rather boozy-looking stranger of the bell- boy of hotel the other day. "What kind of bar?" asked the latter. "Why saloon bar of course; what do you sup pose I, mean? "Well," drawled the boy, q didn't know but you might mean a bar of soap"
 It is delicious sight to see Milwau- kee man toying with the lobe of his sweetheart's ear so white, so soft, SO different from an elephants. Delicious, likewise, to see him wrap it two or three times around his neck, and pressing his chin lovingly upon it, hear him murmuH those magic words, yum! yuml yuml"
 Mrs. Dipper No Jonesy, who is deeply in arrears for board): "Mr. Jonesy, won't you step into the parlor moment2 I wish to speak to you" Jonesy-"Really, Mrs. Dipper, should like to accommO- date you, but what will the boarders say at seeing us alone? Think of the scandals going through the papers, madam. o, no excuse me-"
 , A woman in Washington Territory kept her mouth open long enough upon . certain occasion last month to swallow 6 snake. Her husband betrayed 6 good deal of feeling in relating the little cir- cumstance to his neighborS, and conclud- ed his narrative with the remark: "There ain't nothin' hard-hearted bout me, but hanged if s'posed could ever feel enny sorrer for snake"
 Amorgthe Indians at Red Cloud Agency are these:- Washerwoman, Takes Things Sand Frog, Bob Tail, Big Ribs, Big Foot, Hole-in-the-G Ground, Little Dog, Black Heart, Turkey Legs. Mule Head, Pump kin Seed, White Goose, Yellow Shift, Head, Gamble, Itching, No Account, Mis- chief Maker, Never Full, and Split-NOse Crow.
 George" said maiden, as she smiled archly in her lovers face, "what is there in grand achievement that reminds me of you2" Georges eye lit with pleasure, and there was loving tenderness in the glance with which he replied. "No, dar- the maiden. She now fIattens her nose against the window pane, and wonders whether George has committed suicide or gone to China. a. :. l4orr a.l t.-r.f ....-f. etfsf fa-H s
 Professor to class in RMythology.--.And BOW, young gentlemen, can any of you tell me the naIne of that son of Agamemnon who was pursued by the Furies2" Stu dious pupl-"Orestes, sir" Professor (deightedl l- Correct; and now, sir, can you go still further and give me the de- rivation of that word Orestes' 2" Stu dious pupil-"ltss supposed to be- an apo eopated form, sir, of O-(giye-us-sD Y ~ -...-. ----l -l.sfs" s7 T
 And great was the fall thereof = Sister Well. you know. Bobby, your eye's very lnfiamed; you can't go ont with Toni- my Brown till that speck of lust's ont of