The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-06-16
Wit and HumOr.


A TAKING paper-the sherih's warrant.
You should not stone your neighbor,
but you may rock his baby.
MANY rascal is like bell he seems
made on purpose to be hanged.
CoLoRED BARRIERS are an institution of
great antiquity. Hamlet refers to
party who was ga niger, and a-nipping
hair. "-Phitadeiohia Bulletin.
THE Centennial plan " for making
horse-car conductor honest is to- fire off
small cannon after the reception of
each fare.-,Boston Journal.
He who leaves but one cat to grow
where two cats grew before is public
benefactor, and deserves the blessings of
the community.-Rome Sentinel.
IRArE wife (whvse husband has re-
turned home late(-"Now, I'll just give
you piece of my mind" Husband
Don't, my dear; you can't spare it.
"AND what has became of Saul,
Jimmy 2" asked a Sunday-school teacher
d" Killed himself" was the reply, "How
did he kill himself2" continued the
teacher. "Blowed his brains out with
icNoifci, iCplcu u lluuiy.
AT the show, the other evening,
gentleman sarcastically asked man
standing up in front of him il he was
aware that he was Opaque. The other
denied the allegation. He said he was
not Opaque. His name was O'Brien.
MIR. BRowNsTUDY-"U Ugh very poor;
don't like that picture at aldo you9"
Mrs. Bob, yes, dear; you know
that's by Milleighton San Calderpett,
the great r. Al" Mr.. Bob, is it9
Ah--h'm--well, tit is fne--very fine
indeed Pun.
THE Boston Traveller thinks that
-" the wish or Willingness to lean upon
another is ignoble 20 lean on ones
self alone is grand" Don't know how
it is in Boston, but we've seen fellows
leaning on themselves who were not q
bit grand I; although they may have been
Tight-uns. -Philadelphia Bulletin.
ABOUT as mean posishun as emmy
man kan put himself into liz to work all
the time for the devil and look all the time
to the Lord for his pay.-JOsh Billings.
A MASSACHUSETTS Judge has decided
that Jew may work ON Sunday, but
that he shall not play unless he is men,
Der OF an engine company. An engine
can't play unless it works.
BREATHEs there a Yank so mean, so small,
Who never says: "Wall, meow, by gaul,
reckon, since old Adams fall.
There's never grewd ON this ere ball
nation 80 ALTERED tall
AZ we Centennial Yankees?"
boston Globe.
EDTH-"O dear 1 am so tired %
Loving husband" What has so IA
tigued you, my Pippetywippety Pop
PETE" Edith-"Ohl have had to hold
up my parasol all the time was in the
carriage Punch.
A POOR Irishman was about to sell
his saucepan, when his children remon-
strated. "Ah, me honeys," said he, 81
would not be afther partin' with it but
for want of little money to buy some
thing to put in it."
"WHY is it, my dear sir, said Waffies'
landlady to him the other day, "tbat
You newspaper men never get rich 2"
II do not know" was his reply, "ex-
cept it is that dollars and sense do not
always travel together"
"MY wife tells the truth three times
wy, iOAuhh Co JoCoSc Olu ItllOW, III
the same time casting miscellaneous
glance at his "better half" Before
rising in the morning she says: ooh,
dear, I must get up, but 1 don't want
tor After breakfast she adds; well,
1 suppose / must go to work, but don't
want to- And she goes to bed saying:
There! have been on the move all
day and haven't done anything"
HE seemed to be in deep study az he
stood under the awning of fruit store
and surveyed heap of cocoanuts. He
finally picked one up and examined it,
and the dealer was moved to inquire If
he wanted to purchase. "I guess not"
replied the lad. as he put it down, "but
it's my opinion that If the fellers who
make cocoanuts would fix 'em to open
on hinges us boys would buy millions of
'em. detroit Free Press.