Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1876-09-12
MISCELLAHEo GUS.
Under FALSE COLoRS.

"Aly pocket-book's gone !" exclaimed an
excited passenger, who had stepped up to the
bar TO liquor, and suddenly found himself
without the means to liquidate
mime tool" chorused dozen moro of us,
simultaneously clapping our hands on our per-
sonal sub-treasuries and finding them vacant
There was commotion on board the good
steamer Swiftsure, one of the best then Davi.
eating the Mississippi. ruefu set were we
on whom thus unexpectedly dawued the fact
Of present insolvency.
My own case was peculiarly hard. The
money lost was my all. had just drawn it
from the bank to pay for home l had bar
gained for, and to which was expecting soon
to conduct my long intended bride-Poor
Kste-l could hardly, iD justice, ask her to
wait longer.
"It is evident we have a pickpocket on
board" observed grave looking gentleman,
who had already found time to talk himself
into sort of leader among US
twas pretty evident.
They may have gone ashore with the
booty" suggested another-"we have already
made several stoprages."
True, replied the grave gentleman; "still,
it is proper that n general senrch be instituted.
1t will at lease scrve to clear of suspicion those
present"
Very right" was the general voice.
"And as a mover of the proposal, !" the gem
tleman continued, II first offer for your scru.
tiny my own persosal eifests.H
For FORMS sake the offer was accepted. ff
course no discoveries were made in that quar-
ter. Beyond decent supply of clothing, n
few religious books, and a moderate sum of
money, nothing was found on the gen,leman's
person or among his effects.
cat least they have left me my little pit
tance,'' he remarked, returning it to his poc-
ket. Il presume they hardly thought it
worth the risk to venture on robbiDg a clergy
man."
Had we known the centleman's calling
sOonCr-we were inexcussble not to have sur
missed tive should certainly have insisted
on his exemption from the test ne had Just
undergone.
One after another was put through the or
deal with equally fruitcss results, ill it came
the turn Of slipshoddy little man, who had
hung back to the last, and whom nobo /,
seemed to have noticed till now.
"Step forward, sir, and submit like the
rest" said the clergyman.
The little man obeyed. As he approached,
singular change came over the minister's
cOuntenance. 1t grew a trife paler But
the feeling, whatever it was, was evnnosccnr
'Do your duty, gentlemen" ;" he said in his
usual tone OF authority.
Those appointed to conduct the search pro.
ceeded with it This time, results were not
so barren. Every one of the missing wallets
were found in tho mans possession 1t was
easy to see he was an old offender II was
hard to tell whether the clergyman looked
more surprised or panied
"What shall be done with him." was the
general query.
dts pity the laws are SO laxly admins
tered herea bouts. T." remarked the minister
That's true" said another. Its no use
turning him over to the law; he could be out
of its clutches in a week"
Lets deal with him ourselves, l say"
! spoke up burly planter from the bay
"My function forbids that should activelv
counsel violence" said the cIergcal gentle
man, with just touch of sniveI in his tone
Never mind, Dominic" interrupted the
planter, "we'Il take the 'sponsibility"
at is greatly to be regretted" !" the minis
ter went on, "that such necessities should
ever exist, but, it must be confessed they
sometimes do exist" This time the snivel
was more perceptible.
Sound doctrine, old hoss !" again put in
the planter. 'Jest leave the practice TO US :"
moose was inprovisod, the other being
made fast to one of the stanchions, and the
culprit was given ten minutes to prepare.
! Have you no remoustraDce to make against
this p asked the little man of the minister
"Ask your own conscience" replied the
latter, what remonstrance can make"
There is one crime deserving Of death. :"
said the little man, with calm distinctDess,
! ''and that is wiIful murder"
Again the ministers face paled.
"Time'sup." "admonished the planter, "now
you jest mount the guard there, and when
you're showed over the side, whether you're
hanged or drowned II depend on the -trenrt
o the rope
"Can offer you any spiritual consolation,
my sinful friend 2" said the minister, with q
swivel which was now very distinct.
! "1ou hypocritical william ~ Numbered the
little man, with sudden vehemeuce
''In your situation. such language to cIer-
eyman is short of blasphemy," returned the
! other.
) You clergyman :" exclaimed the little