The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1876-06-02
Hoase-CleanIng.
By BARRY GRAY.

disorder this house In in, said
to my wife, on coming home from
business the other afternoon. s.If
1 didn't know better, / should
think We were going to move.
Pray tell me, what are you aboutY'
81 am about to clean house, my
DEAR" my wife replied.
"You look as if you were about
to become an inmate of an insane
asylum" answered; for my wife
was shockingly attired in q dress
ing gown that had seen better days
and many housscieanings. She
carried long handled feather
duster in her hand, and had a cap
on her head.
sOh, you may sneer at me as
much as you please" she said /,
'sbut / presume you would find q
difference in the appearance of the
house if it were not that / SUPER
intend the cleaning"
"What possible good is accom-
plished," I asked, 'sby turning the
house upside down in this manner?
For my part never could see that
you improve It's appearance in the
least by doing SO; it is simply a
COMPOUNDED bore, and I have come
to the opinion that if there be one
thing dislike more that another,
it is house-cleaning."
'Cne thing is very certain" she
replied, (which is that you men
know nothing about it. Look at
that cobweb In the corner therer'
And my wife made an attempt
with the long-handled feather
buster upon an inofensive little
cobweb that 1 thought rather or
namental than otherwise.
snow, don't you think" 1 said,
eff you were to clean one room
at time that it weuld be a great
deal better than throwing the en-
tire house into confusion at once?
Devote one week, for instance, to
the cleaning of the parlors, anoth-
er to the dining-room, and so on.
That is my plan"
cat that rate house cleaning
would last through an entire year,
and /, for one, am not disposed to
adopt your plan. No, want to
put it all in as small space as
possible, and get through with it
as speedily as l can. III were to
follow your suggestion, the dust
and dirt raised in cleaning one
room would be sure to settle, or in
some way get into another room
just put to rights, and result would
be that house-cleaning would new
er end. No; everything must be
done at once"
"Well, my DEAR" 1 said, "PIl
not attempt to argue the matter
with you, for I know it would be
very useless task; but I must
say that my mother, who under
stood these things, used to-
"Of course" my wife interrupt
ed, 'your mother did differently
from what 1 do. She was differ
emily situated, and could do as
she pleased. A widow, left as
your mother was, could have her
own way IN a great many matters
which we poor wives cannot fol-
low. 1 know your mother was a
very remarkable woman; but 1
trust do my duty to you and my
children and my house as well as
1 know how. 1 DON'T" contin-
ued my wife, putting the
end of the handle of the feather
dnster into the corner of her eye,
and brushing out an imaginary
tear, "think it fair, or honorable,
or generous, or husbandlike, in
you to be always telling me how
much better your mother kept
house than 1 do / wish to grac-
ious you had married your moth
err"
"Pooh! poohr' 1 exclaimed;
"You know that wouldn't have
been proper. L might have mar
ried your mother, though, which
would have been as near as 1 could
have come to gratifying your
wish"
My wife smiled.
"My mother wouldn't have had
you, SIR" she said.
"She would not have shown as
good taste, then, as her daughter
did, Ireplicd.
"Her daughter sometimes re
grets the good taste she showed"
my wife said mlschievouslY.
81 think you are mistaken my
DEAR" I answered; "but / am
ready to waive the question, pro-
viding you will tell me when din
ner viii be ready. It's six o'clock,
and as yet / see no sign of It's
81 thought / told you before
you went away this morning that
yon would have to get your dinner
down town, for that we should
have none"
"You did say so, but I supposed
it was simply a hint for me to send
home something from the market,
which 1 did"
81 knew you did-enough to
feed the Alderman and their as
sistants with. How did you
think it could be cooked when we
were cleaning house?"
81 didn't know you were going
to clean house." I said. Fl wish
to gracious 1 had; / wouldn't have
come home till midnight
ayes, and left your poor wife
here in the dust and disorder, while
you were feasting and enjoying
yourself 1 am glad, now, you
have not been to dinner, for you
can see what I have to put up
with how I have to get along,
and how uncomfortable even to
me housekeeping is"
81 presume it is, my DEAR I
said, in a modified tone of voice,
for / was DESTROYS of having my
dinner, and did not care to pro-
woke my wife; e.and I am very
sorry you deem it necessary to
engage in it Why don't you sit
down quietly, and let the servants
do the work? I don't think it nee
essary for You to lift a finger to it."
GGNioa1x1 Sho hnu0o -1-I1