Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-08-30


DoN'T take an overdose of watermeI-
on. One slice for an infant and three
for an adult is the regulated quantity.
You can understand how plodding
industry wins wealth " when you see a
! day laborer striking with a pickaxe at
| the same hole for half an hour.
A WAC says the reason a man can't
can strawberries as quickly as woman
IS because he stops too-eften to lick the
spoon. ssss
YOUNG Shocks knocked down three
OF ten pins with his first ball on the al
ley, and then quit the game. He said
his father told him never to play at
seven up.
PROF. HUXLEY reaches this country
just in time to settle the controversy
whether a mosquito dips it's syphon in
q Jerseyman for the purpose of ex-
racting his blood or his applejack.
SAID Mr.. Tapley, of Danbury, feeling
softly of his nose, 81 don't want to be
too hopeful or sanguine, but I believe
I'm going to have boil" -Daabauy
NeUs.
Nor,uic7a Bulletin: A fashion exchange
says that the jabon is now generally
used by married ladies'" This would
seem to indicate that a harmless but
incorrect method of spelling jawbone is
now prevalent in polite society.
A PRINTERS devil propounds the fol-
lowing: "What is. the difference be-
tween thirty-dollar-a-week position at
the case and the chief of the Sioux?"
Ans. Zone is a bully sit and the
other is Sitting Bull"
The army of Greece is tremendous
thing. The cavalry branch of it is said
| to consist of eleven men, nine horses
and a 'bus-not blunderbuss, but an
omnibus. When Greece takes up gun
Europe lies down behind log.
AN English advertisement: "a sit
uation wanted by Nottingham man;
age twenty-si height feet ten inches.
Objects to cleaning lady's maids boots.
High Church family preferred. First
footman five years. Address, etc.
A BELATED citizen, from whom po-
iceman was endeavoriug to rescue q
lamp-post few mornings ago, violent
ly resisted the endeavor, exclaiming:
"Lemme lone; I'm (hic) holdin' the
fort" aita
Do LEWIS is raging through the West
advising young men to get married.
Several of them have tried oat meal as
specific in that direction, but it
doesn't affect the mercury in the mat
rimonial therm ometer q cents worth.
A MAINE Universalist minister, ad-
vertising for a lost pocketbook contain
ing S., said: "The person who has it
knows whose it is, because my name is
in it, and if honest will return, it, and
accept my advice to use the money
for the purchase of stool Of repent
ance that is charged with ignitible brim-
stone"
RIGHT here, in the heat of the cam
paign, Cairo paper finds time to say
to those extremely interesting creatures,
"young men under twenty-fve:" 'sYou
don't want wife now, and you have no
idea of the kind of wife you willwa
by-and-by. Go into female society if
you can find that which will improve
you, but not otherwise"
The keeper of one of the State Pris-
ons in France recently liberated a pris
oner His reason for doing so was thus
related to the Minister of the Interior:
[ summoned him to my Office. He
treated me with disrespect. I told
him that unless he would behave him.
self I would put him out. He contin-
ued bis disorderly conduct, and [ Just
kicked him into the street. That's how
it was.''
The other day a prominent newspa-
no. Of oh WI Jntyn
went into a hair-dresser's establishment
and asked the price of ear-wigs. The
proprietor brought a couple of buffalo
robes and said that perhaps they would
answer if the bald spots. were no larger
than they appeared from the ground.
-Worcester Press