The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-10-14
AN ASTONISIIED MINISTER.

Old Birthstone WillS-sO eve-yD0dy
calls him-is pastor Of one OF our
churches. He has long been known as
an eccentric preacher, ami can knock
more square feet of religion out Of any
text IN the Bible than all the rest Of the
ministers In the town put together.
Crerds, dogmas, and forms all fail with
Old Birthstone, and no matter how often
you hear him the subject Of his dis
course always winds up with highly
dramatic picture of the agonles Of the
sinner and the heat Of the place prepar-
ed for him. Sulphur aud blue bazcs
are his only topics, and he expOunds
them IN manner fOrcihle enough to
make a strange hearer think he is sit
ting on dynamite barrel waiting for 1t
to be touched Of OF course his peculi
arity has ceased to attract attention In
our town, but somehow or other Old
Birthstone always breaches to crowded
houses every Sunday night. Saturday
morning as severa, Of our prominent
Hen were standing In front Of MOore's
grocery they were accosted by q rough,
seedy looking cOuntryman, who inquir-
I'd II they knew where he could dispose
of a lot Of sulphur.
us 1t good su phur 2" asked the wag
of the party, winking slyly at the rest.
eyes, of course it's goOd," was the
reply
"Will it burn readily?"
"Well, | reckon IL WILL"
"Think 1t would scorch q devil ?"
persisted the wag.
The countryman gave him an In iured
look and was about to drive off, when
the wag stopped him BY asking II he
really wanted to sell the load.
eyes, siree," WAS the response.
"Well said the wag, II know
man that will buy it from you IL 1t is
good article to burn. See that white
house standing back from the road 2"
he added, p hitting directly at Old Brim-
stones residence. "Just stop there,
inquire for Mr.. Wills and tell him you
Lave a load of first class sulphur. He
IL a little peculiar and will try to make
you believe he dosen't use it, but stick
to him right close and am sure you
can make bargain. Watch him sharp,
however, for he will swear he is a min
lister, so he can gee your load for half
price, but just tell hm the trick is to
old and he will cave right In "
"l'll watch him." replied the
coun:ryman, as he drove OFF, followed
by the entire party. who took a near
cut and reaching hearing distance hid
themselves to await the result Of the in.
terview.
In response to the countryman's ring
D.i, litns.lf nnntnFtIh "a Mt fhp
door.
"Want any sulphur 2" inquired the
countrymsn, closely eyeing the form
before him.
"Sulphur?. Do want any sulphur?
No, sir, have no use for sulphur" re-
piled the old man, in amazement.
Gene now, ] know better than
that" replied the couutryman, wink
ing At him Familiarity.
"Why, my dear sir, am a minister
| What use have / for q load of sulphur
gasped the astoni.hed Clergyman,
"Oh, that's to thin, old feller come
now stop lying and tell me what you'll
give me for two barrels of sulphur"
81 tell you am minister" fairly
sbripked the old man.
That's too thin, tell you," replied
the countryman with an oath.
"Oh you vile sinner You blasphe-
nous wretch Are you not awar,
there is a lake of FIRE prepared for thost
who take in vain the Creators namr?'
asked the Mortified old man, trembling
with excitement.
"a lake OF what? gasped the coun