The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-12-08
WHOLE NO. 1872.
Pith and Point.

AN exchange remarks that "the mat
rimonial fever has broken out again."
Oh, yes the tie-fuss.
WHY is a fast black horse like eer-
tain preparation of india-rubberf He.
cause it is an inky-racer.
IT wouldn't be bad idea to pia the
little boys comparison of "cold TO-
your memory nowadays positive,
cold comparative, cough superlativc.
coffin"
SOMEBODY remarks that young ladies
look upon boy as a nuisance until he
is past the age OF 16, when he generally
doubles up in value each year, until,
like meerschaum pipe, he is priceless.
WOMAN makes the moments ny-.
She makes the cash hy too;
For husbands say she makes them buy
Whatever comes IN view.
But this know, oh Modern Bello!--
IL is no vain surmise
The art in which you most excel
IL that Of "makipg eyes,"
SCENE in New York Police Court
Judge: "Prisoner, find you guilty of
intoxication in the public streets. The
punishment is $40 or ten days. Which
will you take9" Prisoner "I viii
take the 80, Your Honor. "
INDusrRIoU % Seafaring Party
"What Amt got nothin' TO dot
Why, here I've been a-mendin' this
blessed net ever since last November,
and you're a-idlin' about as If there
warn't such thing as work In tina
world! !"
UNCLE LEVI" Now. Sammy, tell me,
have you ever read the beautiful storyof
Joseph9" Sammy-"Ob, yes, uncle.
Uncle" Well, then, what wrong did
they do when they sold their brother {"
sammy" They sold him too cheap. L
think"
81 DON'T mind sharing my bed With
the children" yelled a Chicago man to
his wife, the other night, "but blamed
if l am willing to share it with bread
crumbs !" Then the wife remembered
that she had enticed the little ones to-
sleep by giving them each a cruller.
IRATE young lady" Mr.. Cox, de-.
clare your machines are the worst 1 ever
saw There's not even looking glass ~
Proprietor of bathing machines" Why,
miss, if there was looking glasses, we
shouldn't get You ladies' ont of them ERE
machines for howers and howers l''-
Punch.
A GEORGIA colored debating society
was lately discussing, (Which is the
best for the laboring man, to work for
wages or part of the crop9" An old
"uncle" spoke the sense of the meeting
when he thought "Bofe was de best,
if dey could only be brung tOgedder
somehow.
"THE alligator" wisely remarks the
COurier-JOttrn0l, "never blows his
nose" Likewise the whale never
knows his blows. Rah for natural his
tory. Rochester Chronicle. Now both
of you be blowed. Free Press.
Let us have peace, blubbered bredren-
st. Louis Republican.
CUsToMER-"Oh, 1 think I'll have
the last fish you've got-it'n make the
half Dozen" Coster-" Well, no, mum,
I can't part with all on EN-" Customer
"And why not, pray?" Coster-" Well,
mum, TO tell you the truth, we've been
out together so many days that I've got
QlllVe acuSu 10 en-, uhe, hlll Hltss
keep one. "-ftmny Folks.
A CORRESPONDENT writes 81 have a
friend who is unable TO leave London
himself this autumn, but whose wife
and children are enjoying the breezes of
their native Scotland for few weeks.
Wishing to say something civil to him
the other day, and knowing that he and
his better-half got on pretty well to-
gether, 1 remarked that he must feel
rather lonely without Mrs. X. and the
little ones. Yes he replied, Il do;
but the wind is tempered to the shorn
lamb, and you see that when my wife is
away l can smoke in bed Peoples
ideas of enjoyment differ.