Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1876-12-01
VARIETIES.


men are homeless than others.
An advocate OF female suffrage The
young man who cast his maiden vote.
The Franklin brings the first imporla-
ton Of Tweed from Spain that ever enter
ed the United States.
Tea does not always cheer. Notably,
for instance, when nan pays twenty cents
for cup Of it,
1t is no unusual thing TO sec driver,
through negligence, get into mischief, and
then fog the horse, although the fault was
his own.
Socrates says that "the hottest love has
the coolest end" Xantippe had probably
made the old man sit out on tho doorstep
all night.
Nothing in the world will moro quick
ly inspire a boy with desire for Bible
teachings than the appro ich Of the Christ
mas tree season.
Gratitude is a very beautiful thing, but
it differs from Mississippi River steam
boat in that it isn't usually rrn on the high
pressure principle.
You can never tell what n boy will do
within an hour after you lose sight Of him,
but you can safely bet he will not do what
you want him to do.
1t is perhaps true, as the belief goes in
Boston, that women do more reading than
men, but il is also true that men do more
listening than women.
1t is stated that 10000 Philadelphia
families will break up ousekeeping on
the first of January and start around the
country returning centennial visits.
Max Adeler calls his new comic book
"Elbow Room" because the "rnnny- bone
is located in the first word OF the title, and
the humerus is close 10y.
Young ladies should not be deceived
by moderate weather into leaving off their
belt buckles. There is dampness in the
air which should be guarded against.
A young lady, while on her way TO be
married, was run over and killed. con-
frmed old maid savagely remarked; "She
has avoided a most lingering and horrible
destiny"
"A pet cat jumped upon power press
in Troy printing Office to see how the old
t hing worked, and the next few papers
thrown off were full of the sad history OF
the feline race.
The mince pie season has finally set in,
and now deceased relatives peer over the
foot of the bed, and seem TO reach up I'M
der the clothes and seize a man under the
waistband of his pauts.
The Country Gentlemen has an article
on breaking up Sitting Hens" The most
effective way of breaking them up il with
an anvil and a sledge-hammer. It's war
ranted to cure the desire TO Sit CONNER
cidl Advertiser.
"A prudent man advised his drunken
servant TO put by his money for rainy
| day. In few weeks his master inquired
how much of his money he had saved.
"Failh, none at ALL" said he, ''it rnined
yesterday, and it all went"
"A party of young men dined sumptu.
ously at q restaurant in Atlanta, and each
one insisted on paying the bill. To decide
| the matter, ii was proposed 10 bhndfold
the waiter, and the first one he caught
sho uld pay the bill. HI hasn't caught any
OF them yet.
| Charles Lamb was once riding in a
stage coach in company with one OF those
sympathizing souls ever on the lookout for
an opportunity to compassionate affiiction,
"What bad cough you have, sir" said the
sympathizing one, after Lamb had recover
ed from a violent fit OF coughing. 81 know
it," replied Lamb, "but it is the best l can
| do'
"A Chicago man dreamed that his child
would be scalded 10 death. He took every
precaution against such catastrophe, but
| ntaciSeIv Fl ye weeks and two da VS. after The
dream the little boy was run over by cart
and escaped uninjured.
A woman who died at Florissant, Mo,
the other day, at the age of 0s, was the
mother of Is children, NIL Of whom were
with her when she died, and she left 9s
q rand hildren and rs great grandchildren,
all of whom were present at her funeral.
She was a consistent member OF the Meth
odist church for 20 years.
"A man rushed into a Main street res
taurant, the other day, in an awful hurry,
and, Hopping into a chair, called for calf
head soup" "Calf said what, sir - inquir-
ed the waiter "Calf's head soup!" roared
the impatient guest. AdnIonished by the
wrathful tone, the waiter moved away, but
paused TO inquire, as kind Of appendix,
"You didn't hear him say what kind OF
soup, sir?'-DUrlington HGWkeye.