Connecticut western news., 1876-03-10
AnvRRrIsINa RATEs,
Items of Interest.

| Atomb UA AuVoH0Sss ..
 A good lawyer is not necessity, for necessity knows no law. .. .-.....
 Spelling for the drinks is the popular pastime in Virginia City saloons. There are 5000 Chinese boys in Cali fornia who will be voters when they become of age.
 A ship loaded with gifts received by way to England. 3
 A woman dictates before marriage, in order that she may have an appetite for submission afterward. r--
 Some people cannot drive to happi- ness with four horses, and others can reach the goal on foot.
 A man in Belmont, N. r., shouted "fire" so vigorously the other night that he dislocated his jaw.
 We suppose men have the right to play the coquette during leap year. Let no jilty woman escape, as
 What is that which Adam never saw, and never possessed, and yet gave to each of his children 2 Parents.
 A youngl lady being advised to takeex- ercise for her health. said she would run the risk and jump at an offer. -s.
 "Don't swear or ask for postage stamps" is Boston druggists placard of admonition to his customers.
 A Greenland (N. H.1 man has recover ed $1, 400 from the town because his horse shied at an old log in the road and threw him out of the wagon, breaking his ankle. ,..,-.=5.
 Piper, the convicted murderer of Ma- ble Young, in Boston, has no appetite, and part of the time his hands are kept fastened behind his back to prevent self destruction.
 At social hop in Anderson county Ky, recently, two gentlemea and two ladies were shot and killed. There is such thing, it will be observed, as being too sociable.. MAJ,
 " Make the vagabond earn his meals" says the Philadelphia Anaeric1e of the tramp. Bless your heart, friend, you don't know the character of the animal. He'd rather go hungry any time. &
 A poor clergyman, aged seventy-three, living in bennington, England, was re. cently found dead in his room from lack of food. He had lived several years on an income of eightpence day.
 It is said that Professor Giehing, of Germany, has produced from chemicals influenced by galvanic battery per feet egg, which by artificial means he has matched. The chick, ho wever, hes no feathers.
 A nice discrimination was recently manifested in the dismission of con ductor from the service of the Iowa Gen. tral railroad t' for using gprofane language to his equals, and threats unbecomingt Co gentleman. saa
 There are 162 driving parks in the United States. The value of the prop erty held by these associations is ,,esti- mated at $5,000, 900 and that of the horses entered in a single year, $15, ,000,- 900.
 When clergyman recently inquired of certain lady if she was {" ready to give up worldly pleasures, !" she answer ed by asking if he was :" ready to give up chewing tobacco in the presence of ladies 1"
 Fido, the dog that had watched care- fully by an unknown grave in the Wor- cester cemetery for the last four years, has been frightened away by the sight of kennel prepared for his accommoda- tion and the crowd of visitors.
 A tramp entered schoolroom, near Alton, H., the other night, and made himself comfortable by replenishing the fire with school books. It is supposed that he burned up between $l5 and $2O' worth of light literature. ;g'
 A justice of the peace in Sheboygan, Mich, married couple, and for pay too1, o,, <>rdor kho hy-SI oav,o "a ofuh- bor for a s load of straw," and as he took too large load the groom has sued him to make him refund.
 When man detects . missing button after getting on clean shirt, no one in the house is aware of the fact. He takes off the shirt and puts on another, quiet ly smiling all the while. He never, never speaks of 1t to soul.
 Ezra Baker, of Boston, made no will . for relatives and lawyers to fight over but, just before death, he gave his mil lion dollars worth of property to his only son, the legal heir, and instructed him how to distribute it. 4 .. ,rr
 British officers pride themselves upon never wearing their uniforms except when on duty. The Duke of Cambridge . has just directed young officer, who got drunk and was noisy, to wear his uniform constantly for one year.
 When man empties the pockets of his coat preparatory to lsyingi it out for repairs, there's nothing that makes his conscience get upon his hind legs quick CT than the sight of the letter his wife
 Bad luck is simply man with his hands in his pockets and his pipe in his mouth, looking on to see how it will come out. Good luck is man of pluck, with his sleeves rolled up and working to make it come out all right.
 A young American lady who has en- joyed the rare privilege of taking stroll with the poet Tennyson, incidentally mentioned in letter to friend that Git seriously affected the romance of the sit uation when he paused during the walk to scratch his back against gatepost."
 Spriggins recently had pair of panta- looms washed, and they shrunk so as to be too small, and he complained to his wife about it. Said Mrs. Spriggins, said she: "Spcs'in you take a bath, Sprigeins, and shrink yourself to a proper size for them. Then they'll fit you"
 The unusual torture of freezing and burning to death was the lot of color ed girl in Cumming, Wis. Her clothing caught fire, burning her fatally and then she ran out of the house, almost naked, and the extreme cold helped to kill her before she could reach neigh bor's House, for which she had started.
 According to Brazilian correspon- dent, that empire must be the paradise of criminals. Murderers and robbers cannot be arrested unless takenin theact, and it is not rare to meet with monsters rnino at large who are known to have