The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1876-02-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A corpuIent woman. wearing spectacles
and a very serious look, was a passenger
on a Woodward avenue car yesterday.
AS the car rolled along she smiled at a
man opposite, and inquired "Can you
ring the bell ?" With pleasure" he
responded. as he rose up and yanked the
strap. The car stopped. no one moved.
and after a long look through the door,
the driver started up again. The man
looked across at the fat woman for an
explanation, and she said Il didn't
know whether you could or not. "-Detroit
Free Press.
"Who is Herbert Spencer. Pop ?"
asked an inquiring Brooklyn youth of
his father the other morning. Hes a
famous English philosopher, my son."
"And what's a philosopher" continued
the lad. with the business air of a person
who could keep on asking questions I'M
til doomsday. "A philosopher" re-
turned the father, gravely. is a man
who never marries. "-Brooklyn Argus.
"My son." said a stern parent to a
seven-year old hopeful, 81 must disci-
pline you. Your teacher says you are
the worst boy in the school," Well,
papa. yesterday she said l was just like
my father" was the reply.
$50 you wouldn't take me to be over
twenty ?" said a rich heiress to an Irish
gentleman, while dancing the polka.
What would you take me for. then ?"
For better or worse" replied the son
of the Emerald Isle.
A Memphis prisoner. who hated to see
two lawyers disgrace the courtroom by
fighting, walked out, and he was unfor-
tunate enough to get lost. He has not
been heard of since.
The editor of the Columbia (Tenn.)
Herald has received the gift of an immense
rattlesnake. which he keeps domesticated
In his sauctum. 1t answers the purpose
of a six-shooter.
A New Hampshire man sends fourteen
of his children to one school. and when
they combine against the teacher he
knows he can safely bet on the result.
Not bad. The New Haven Journal
suggests that the Centennial Coffee Pot
will probably be exhibited on the
grounds"
At a recent fair held in Baltimore q
chair was voted to a policeman, but he
was too lazy to take it.
AFTER the late imperial hunt at Huber
tustock the Emperor William, feeling I'M
well, proposed to return 10 the castle on
foot IN company with the King of Saxony
and the Grand Duke of M~ecklenburg.
But firing on the way the party got a
peasant to give them a lift in his cart.
Presently the mans curl osity being ex-
cited by the appearance of his passen-
gers. he said, turning to n Of them.
"And who may you be ?" IT am the
Grand Duke Of Mecklenburg." On,
indeed" said the peasant. with a wink !;
"then who may You be ?" he inquired
OF the next. Il am King of Saxony."
Better and better" cried the carter.
And you ?" accosting the third mem
Der of the party. ct am the Emperor of
Germany" "Well, them" said the
countryman. in high good humor, Il
will tell you who | am l am the Shah of
Persia, and can hoax people as well as
you can" But when he drove up to the
castle of Hubertusock the honest fellow
found that of all the potentates in the
cart he was the only one whose claim
could not be ~substantiated.
The Count de la Rochefoucauld, who
has instituted excavations at Pompeii in
a new direction, hitherto rather discour-
aged by the archaologists. has been am
ply rewarded recently. He has discov-
cred two -skeletons-one of a man and the
other OF a woman-both in a perfect state
OF preservation. At their sides were
found a pair of gold earrings, a golden
purse and a piece of gold network, and
near by were some pastry molds, four
spoons. eight drinking cups, and four
plates, all of silver.
A GENTLEMAN named THOMPSON. aforty-
miner living IN a small town in the inte-
rior of California, recently returned to
his old home in Iowa where a Quarter of
q century ago he left a wife and nine chill
dren who had not heard from the old
mar since he left. He found them alive
and well when he got there With the fam
lily circle enlarged by the addition of fifty
grandchildren and three great-grandchil-
dren. They had evidently been attend
ing to business just as usual during the
OLD man s ABSENCE.
In Clinton, Iowa, there is a law firm
unde the title of Foster & Rice. Foster
is Rice's wife and Rice is Fosters hus-
band. Madam occupies herself with the
cases of the gentlemen and mister with
the ladies' business. The firm prospers
In every way, and is considered a decided
advance on the old style.
WE call this downright mean A SER
a n of all work happened the other day
to crack q joke. and her missus stopped
it out of her wages.
STANLFY writes that the last African
King he met had bnt three hundred wives
n is looked upon by the girls as almost
a widower.
A POLITE youth, intending to offer mar
mage to a young lady, wrote to ask her
to unite with himself in the formation Of
Art Union.