Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-28
WHOLE NO. $50.
Gleanings.

All cruelties spring from weakness -
Seneca.
Trowsers obtained on credit are breech
cs Of trust.
Pickpockets gather crowds only to dis
purse them.
Sinking fund bonds will not always
float q loan.
His name is not pronounced Belk-nap,
but Bel-nap.
Theory may be all very well, but young
doctors and lawyers prefer practice.
Life would be uncomfortable to some
people if there were not editors to find
fault with.
Nobody was born or married in Mon
roe, Mass, last year, and there was but
one death.
Don't swear or ask for postage stamps"
is Boston druggists placard of admoni.
ton to his customers.
Danbury declines to run for governor.
Mrs Danbury wants him to stay at home
and take care of the babies.
Professor to Freshman-"What is
circle?" Freshman after much reflections
ga round, straight line, with hole in
the middle"
A Pennsylvania mechanic has invented
what he calls a Smith roller and crush
er." Bring on your Smiths if you want
them rolled and crushed.
Prof. Tyndall has determined to write
another volume on Heat" He has ac-
quired new ideas and theories from get
ting up and building the fire since his
marriage.
Phil Sheridan has frequently been seen
at two o'clock in the morning within the
last month, going hastily home with a
bottle in his hand The bottle contained
paragoric.
If generous but ugly boy gives his
younger brother sixty" for stealing one
of his apples, and that night the apples
give him sixty" two, how many apples
did the younger brother receive?
"Whar are you-confdence operators?"
said gruff old fellow to two little beggar
girls, who asked for aims. :'No, sir"
said the smallest, with charming simplic-
ity, mo, sir; but we 'opes to be"
Women do more headwork than men;
that Is, it takes some women four hours to
do up their hair for any evening party,
while good smart man can do his up in
three hours and fifty seconds, easy.
That was very beautiful thought of
the little child who turned from the corn
popping at the kitchen fire, and, seeing
the snow, cried out: "Mother, come and
see; the rain is popping out all white!"
A little variation in the form of letter
made venerable preacher, who SAID that
clergymen should work and play, too"
utter in print the remarkable doctrine
that " clergymen should work and play
loo"
The latest phase of leap-year eccentricity
is recorded from Portsmouth, N. H.,
where lady, clad in deep mourning,
promenaded the streets, the other day,
with a ribbon in front of her forehead,
on which was embroidered in white the
word "Alone
There is saying of Schopenhauer that
"women remain all their life big children; !;
they have an eye for the thing which is
nearest to them; they attach themselves
to the present; they mistake the appear
ance for the reality; and they set aside the
most momentous question for the veriest
trifle."
l have been told by persons of expe-
rlence in matters of taste, that fashions
follow law of graduation, and are never
arbitrary. The new mode is always only
step onward in the same direction as the
last mode; and cultivated eye is prepar-
ed for and predicts the new fashion.
A Hartford gentleman who had tarried
late at wine supper, found his wife
business. Said she, Here I've been wait
ing ,and rocking in a chair till my head
swims round like top" Jess SO where
I've been," responded he; it's in the at.
mosphere."
Mamma" said a thoughtful youngster
the other day, chow old shall be next
birthday" six my son, if you live"
"Well, suppose l don't live, can't I go
right on having birthdays like George
w dSulllSlOu. 1HClC ulC SoulC oldSA
boys who would like to have their birth
days "go right on"
The native talent which woman dis
plays for discovering foreign hair on
her husbands shoulder will always Sc
cure respect. but when man goes home
and finds that his wife has contributed
his Sunday pantaloons to the Home for
Aged and INDECENT females, it does seem
as if the female mind lacked those fine
discriminating qualities which are essen
tial to worldly success.
The front steps of citizen of High
street have needed repairs for many
months past, and almost every day since
last October he has promised to send
carpenter around to fix them. He came
home the other day to find that his wife
had been tripped up again by the steps,
and this time she had received broken
limb. She felt just as any woman would.
and as he came into the house she stopped
groaning long enough to say: "The doc
tor says Pm laid up for three or four
months, and guess you'll fix those steps
now." "They ought to have been fixed
long ago." he slowly replied, "but if you
are going to be laid up all summer won't
bother with 'em-I'll come and so by the
side doorr,