The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-12-06
FRESH FLASHES OF FUN.

Wagon wheels are among the things
which go by turns.
No man can tell how big his mind is
until it is made up.
Rain is mysterious, but it is easy to
see the drift oil a snow storm.
"Plaid stockings are coming into
vogue" Such fashion should be
checked. ....
The man who calculated badly is gen
orally left with cane when lie wants
an umbrella.
An exchange says: "It is fortunate
that the telegraph wires have no con-
.science." Wire you SO certain about
that?
The peanut crop this year amounts to-
eight hundred thousand bushels, and it
Will be just as difficult as ever to hear
anything lecturer or theater actor
says.
The correct pronunciation, sans
doubt, oil "Sardanapalus" IS Win the ac-
cent on the last syllable but one. Don't
you forget it. Almost every one has
worn the map" off the name by wrong
emphasis.
Nothing will make restaurant pa
tron, who Is stranger to the dish,
crawl out Of his boots quicker than his
first glance ~ the dimensions of plate
OF quail on toast" coupled with a look
at the bill for the same.
Railroad experts are discussing the
SUBJECT OIL the ''creepiDg ot railroad
rails" but the experience OF most men
is that the creeping OF cordWood sticks,
after dark, is mystery that knocks
creeping Of rails higher than kite.
Fired" said a young man the other
day, alter listening TO his. wonderful
story, $40 you know why you are like q
harp struck by lightning?T NO" says
Fred, 81 give it up" "Because harp
struck by lightning is blasted lyre."
In about week the bad boys will ex-
perIence such change of heart that
their parents will be forced TO send
them to sunday school, and the effect on
the spread" of candies at Christmas
will be about the same as if the tabl, s
were struck with simeon.
We wouldn't mind the cold weather, il
it wasn't that the man in an ulst, over
coat will begin to jam into a streAL car
like an animated bale o. army blankets,
and shed an avalanche of snow on the
suffering community every time he
reaches into his pocket Tor a. nickel.
"What traveller you have becom -
exclaimed a Chicagoan, on meeting an
acquaintance at Constantinop Q. so te i
you the TRUTH" was the frank reply, Il
| am obliged to run about the world to
keep ahead Of my character, for the
moment it oVertaKes me am ruined"
May they always live in peace and
harmony" was the way Yankee mar
riage notice should have wound up; but
the compositor, who couldn't read manu-
script very Wei, put IN type and horri-
fed the happy couple by making 1t read
"May they always live on peas and hon.
iny."
Misguided fellow-man, what is the use
of your diving into a hallway to steal a
secondhand overcoat, at great risk of
personal liberty, when you can get one
lor Two dollars and a half? And yet
oVercoat stealing opens as lively this
year as ever it did. Are panic prices
no temptation for men TO be honest?
A correspondent writes us concern
ing stories OF toads having been found
imbedded in solid rock, ana he wants
to know how it was possible for the
toad ever to ingratlate himself into such
formidable seclusion.' Elsy enough, he
couId chisel his way into the rock with
his tools. Did you never hear of toad's
tools?
"Do fish possess the power of voice ?p
was debated in literary society IN Ot-
tumwa last week, and was decided in
the negative. Without making any
reference to the. grammatical construc.
ion OF the question, we must say that
the decision was absurd. The we'll
known fact that the Goldfish balls. is
sufficient 10 indicate ''power of voice."
Times are 80 hard and money SO close
that the managers OF church fairs have
resolved, in pity for a suffering public,
to reduce the price of worsted dogs and
flannel pin Gus hions to six dollars and
thirty cents piece, while Il chance in
the prize cake will not cost more than
three dollars. Pen-wipers will be abso-
lu ely given away at from Two to five
dollars each.
A Tilden and Hendricks club In Bos.
| ton, having secured a band ana a drum
corps, began to consider the eXpediency
OF investing in transparency. Said
one of the memb 4rs: "Mr. Chairman,
ye've got brass band, we've got a
drum corps, and now We want to get a
transparency. Now, all Iwant to know
is, VINO the-in this crowd can play a
transparency
A bright eyed little four-year-old boy,
upon hearing his father read The touch
ing story Of Joan of Arc, was greatly
| moved by her sad trials; but wnen the
| part was reached where she was about
| to be burned to death at the stake, the
poor little fellow could not contain
| him eff longer, bat, sobbing, clutched
| his parents arm, with big Tears running
down his plump cheeks, cried, "But,
papa, where were the pollceT