Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-07-12
CHIPS.

man who says she is blonde of the
Lydia Thompson makeup.
| Every fifth person you meet in Bal
timore is a colored individual with
three dogs following on behind.
A Detroit man has found out that a
horse-fly will stand OH PERSONS nose
from thirty to thirty-seven minutes if
not interfered with.
A man whose chronological chart
said: "1ou would not hurt fy,"
was hanged in Ohio the other day
for numbering whole family.
! a little thought on the subject mat
ter will convince the most incredu-
lous that Fourth of July celebrations
have killed more people than fell in
the Revolution.
Profanity in Texas is against the
law, 800 worth each time. They
think of enforcing the law for a
month and paying the national debt.
Ven York Graphic.
An obliging Mississippi Judge re-
Gently adjourned court for fifteen
minutes to get time to go out and
pummel an offending lawyer, who
had rudely made application for a
atce-eye.
DR.. Wander Weyde says tirst-rate
article of jelly can be made from old
boots. And almost any printing Of
flee can furnish enough old boots to
make barrel of that sort of jelly.
Mark Twain, speaking of new
mosquito netting, writes: "The day
is coming when we shall sit under
ournets in church and slumber peace
fully, while the discomfitted flies club
together and take it out of the min
istcr."
The use of the editorial "we' pre-
walls in the South, as will be seen by
the following remark in the Paris
(Tenn) '7htcHigencer:: "If we escape
the hog cholera this season. there
will be large surplus of pork next
Winter"
"My son. said an aflectionate
mother to her son, who resided at a
little distance. and expected in a
short time to be married, "you are
getting very thin "Yes, mother,'
he replied, ~ am. and when l come
next think you will see my rib"
Bret Harte admits that he learned
the printers trade. He says that he
could work six quarts of type per
day on hand press, and could cor
rect roller as good as anybody.
The National Glass Company of
Bellair, Ohio, have succeeded, by
Bastie's method of toughening glass,
in making a common lamp chimney
with which an eight penny nail was
driven through an inch and a half
board.
A lady traveller suggests the great
need of having slceping-cars with
bedrooms twelve feet square in
them. No man ever knocked his
head against the upper berth without
wondering why Pullman and Wag-
ncr are so obstinate.-Detroi Free
Press.
If YOU have money TO invest, don't
put it in New York real estate. Prof.
Mcrriman states that by reyersion
in polar conditions in ten thou sand
years from now New York City will
be two hundred and fifty feet under
water. And no man could live two
hundred and fifty feet under water
many weeks without catching dan
gerous cold.-NO,Tistora Herald.
Peanut oil, first made in the South
during the war is now in large de-
mand. 1t supplies the place of al
mond and olive oils for various uses.
and is lower in price, retains its puri-
ty and flavor for long time, and is
less susceptible TO the effect of light
than olive oil. The oil is extracted
entirely from the meat of the nut by
pressure, the refuse being used as
cattle feed or fertilizer.
a select hop took place at hall
in Corning, and the programme an
nounced, mo German a well-to-
do Teuton saw il, and stopping one
of the managers in the street. he
said: "Not for you call dis free
gnntry ? vot for you kick me ont of
nit your show all de vile? NO Ger
man. Den | backs up mine goods
and goes back to mine Vadcrland.
and gets up one grand hippety hop,
and say. NO Yankee and see how
You likes dem all de vile"
He bought a cheap coat of the gen.
tleman from Jerusalem, and he OBJ
served the next day that il was made
of two kinds of cloth or else it had
faded from some previous wear and
tear. He Went to the dealer with fire
in his eye. The dealer looked at the
garment without surprise, and at the
wearer with extreme wonder. "Vy,
mine gootne8s" he said. "you been
wear de goat in de sun? You t'ink
him maat of shcet-iron, hey?"
The death of a woman in Louis
vile, really caused by heart disease,
was attributed for while to poison,
as she died Immediately after drink
ing ale that her husband had bought,
and he had habitually ill-treated her.
An inquest made the truth clear, and
her husband then said: II amt no
darned fool. A doctor told me that
she had the heart disease, and could
not live more than a year-so l would
not run my neck into moose by p'is-
ming her when the year was most up,
would y