Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-07-19
"A Little Fun Now and Then

IA Little Fun Now and Then"
An enthusiastic Democrat in Fort
Dodge: "Rah for Tilden and Ra-
cher those two good Christian gin
tlemen."
Chas. b. Foote, of Ohio, has COM
menced suit against the city of Mount
Pleasant to recover 100000 OH bonds
and coupons.
Miss Buss is principal of a girls
school in London, and whenever she
makes mistake in doing a sum the
girls call it blundcr-buss.
A Judge in sentencing man to
death, observed, prisoner at the bar,
you will soon have to appear before
another and perhaps better judge"
A man named Wolf was arrested
and fined IS in Dubuque few days
ago for swindling woman out of a
peck of peas. "Lct us have peas"
1t is against the ordinance to sell
ice cream in Newark on Sunday, but
twenty-five loafers can hang around
a corner all day and lccr at passing
females.
A New York dealer chucklcs and
says that one-half the crowd of smo-
kers can't tell five-cent cigar from
twenty-five-cent one except as they
are marked on the boxes.
"Is fishing with angle worms cru
elty?' was the question of a recent
debate in a Wisconsin lyceum. We
should like to see ver-bait-'em re-
port of that discussion.-New York
Commercial advertiser.
A Dubuque lady found live fish
in some milk she purchased few
days ago. Her husband, who is a
speculative genius, is anxious to buy
the "cow that gives such milk"
An enticing preacher says: sIn the
better land there is an eternal sum-
mer." Goodness gracious with its
flies and mosquitoes, and amateur
dramatic performances and everlast-
ing heat.
III thought the derned thing was a
water cooler" remarked fat lady
from the country the other day, when
a Centennial policeman ordered hel
to "stop fooling with Babcock fir,
extingnisher.
Nine Jewish Rabbits. of New York
have published an address to theil
people deprecating the growing ex.
travagance and display at funerals
l hi In 0sNd nnv.
| A recent number of the Phildelphi.
Ledger contained three and a hal
columns of death-notices. This il
but one indication out of many of TIL,
frightful mortality rate in the Cen
tennial City this summer.
In this matter of preserving healtl
by eating at regular hours, it is inter
esting to note that vigorous OLE
Iowa tramp, of 80 years, has lived 70
: the past 30 years of his time entirel,
on catch meals.
A Massachusetts matron, in takin!
leave of her newly married daughter
said, remember, Lucy, that the frs
principles in cleaning n house is I,
= make everybody as comfortable a
as possible"
t Newport, r. l., gets supplied wit
3 water through the offer of George
Norman, of that city, who lays tn,
, pipes and builds the works at his owl
5 expense, providing the city exempt
it from taxation for SO years, an,
gives him the water rents.
"You must cultivate decision O
character, and learn to say no." sal,
father to his son. Soon afterward
, when the father told his son to chol
. wood, the boy said "no" with an EN-
3 phasis that showed remembrance o
e the lesson.
1t is cited as a singular fact that tn
corner stone of the Church of the Re
deemcr in Baltimore was laid b
Bishop Cummins, and his funeral wa
! the first held in it.
The Boston Traveller says it is no
q right for one man to lean on another
That's so. If you get too drunk t
1 stand up, lean on fence, or sit dow
and make believe you are interests
q in paving contract.
!, "Maria," said the pious husband
: "them wicked Smiths are allowin
their children to play in the yard OF
Sunday. To-morroy I'll sick the do,
on their chickens. The Judgment O
4: Heaven must be visited on 'em il
some way"
Providence, r. l.. has an eightee,
year old girl who insists upon dress
ing like boy and doing a boys work
She has driven coal cart and mad
several voyages as a sailor, being a
familiar with ropes and rigging as n,
!. old salt.
5 They had a grand Tilden and Hen
l bricks ratification down at Sedalia
Mo-, the other day. They decided t.
5 fire gun for every State that woul,
$ give rilden and Hendricks n MAORI
S ty, and counted twenty-eight. TIL
seventh gun fired was for Kansas, AN,
the cannon "busted" wide open.
A minister travelling through TIN
West some years ago asked an old la
dy what she thought of the doctrin
OF total depravity. "Oh," she replied
81 think it is good doctrine, If tn
people would only act up to it."
A man in Jersey City went to slee1
one hot night, and was found on hi
office doorstep. Later, three mel
were taken to the police station, ant
on one of them was found tn
mans boots, OH another his hat, ant
Oh the third his coat.
: A farmers wife entered a dry good
store in st. Louis the other day, AM
informed the clerk that she wanted
"one O. them ar womin's hats tina
spread out big, covered with whit,
mnskeeter netting, AN which is git
tin SO fashionable"
They have curious way of decid.
ing law suits in North Siam; boil
parties are put under cold water, ani
the one staying the longest wins thu
suit. In this country both parties ar,
thrust into hot water and the ons
that stands it the longest also wins.
1t was widowed miser, who afte,
composing a long epitaph for hi!
wife suppressed it altogether, and
said: "It's too expensive put on thu
gravestone few tears, like this-!!v
Heavens, no! Three tears when
have only two eyes? Absurd! Two
| will be plenty"
i It is said that the Pope, in his nice
white clothes, with his fresh, healthy
face, handsome hands, and thoroughly
vol kept appearance, looks like {
hearty, fat baby, just out of the morn
cap and silvery hair add to this illu.
sion.
/ Mr.. Dilley is in receipt of letter
from an old army friend named Blu.
ford, living at indianapolis, who ex.