Ellsworth American., 1876-05-11

At the Derby.

II you are ia London IN May, aud con
template gong 70 see the races Al EPSON
Downs On the celebrated D-rby-day, you
Mill tv tull by your agl>toCratic hCqualut-
uucrs that you must not take Your ladies
t'- the Derby, that IL = no lon-er it-hIoud-
J.y tor ladies % 20 10 the Derby-lAdies 20
Only I'd the OlA>. the races which occur
thr next day after the Derby. GA will be
90 d, on the other hand, by Your landlord
II sou -rr at au hulel, that thls i the
u4p,t iutcrr>tiu. prrby-day which Ia, syer
been known; that the iair sex viii be gath
cred in force; that YOU can 20 ia style IN a
carriage with two horses and a ilveried
cnAchmlu at 4 cost Of ten guneA-, with
hAit 4 sovereign for cOachet; or that YOU
. can 20 IA . caO tor two guineas; and that
he can offer yuu seats in his own carriage
a.the same cost a. the unstylish cab. Is
uIlly, H. lpw OF Information stops Al this
point. You will thereupOn eject that IA
carriage at titty-tvc dollars will be too ex-
pen>iyr. aud that cab ut ten dollars is
not sufficiently stylish; 50 you will con
cludc 10 take the advice OF your arlstocrat-
IT, irieHd,. and leave the ladies at home.
Jus, before accepting the offer seat IN
the landlords carri4-n y.l may chance to
learn tba' ..cIv /, j railway 20 EPSON
and that the fare ont and back is eight
'
sible person suppose you to be. will de-
eide the question at once. You 60 ny rail
Still further favored by the advice OF
friends. YOU will wear To- the Derby your
shabbiest suit of clothes, and avoid wear
ing a tall hat. He who goes TO the Der
by IN tall hat tempt- Providence, and Is
liable to have il knocked over his eyes in
thr >omcw hat boisterous trolicsomeness of
the London public, as displayed occasion
ally at EPSON. You, therefore, see your
halter in Piccadily with view TO soft.
| light hat, with wide rim; and your cloth
| ier in Regent Street on the subject of a
/ lines-duster Your clother at once infers,
/ from yonr buying a duster, and from its
/ being Derby-day, that you are going to the
| Derby. "Ow:" he inquiries, deterentially.
by rail" YOU answer. wv hat railway
| should take?''
Go to the Victoria station. sir-that' s
the best way. It's "a rough crowd at the
| Derby. sir. Be careful you don't ave your
watch-chain clipped, srf"
! This warned, you take a cab to the Vic
toria Station, near which you 90 into All
! opticians and buy pair OF green glasses
10 protect your eyes from the glare on the
| Downs. In the station you follow the
crowd up to the little window which has
Pay Here" over it. and policeman sta
| TONED by II, for The sole express purpose
OF bawling Epson Downs only'' which
he bawls accordingly with an industry and
energy which are admirable in police
man. You struggle out of this crowd with
your ticket in your hand and ask another
policeman how often trains leave for Ep-
! som.
''Vahst as they are villed.' he answers
without condesc-nding to look at you.
There is great rush for seats AS YOU
are running from carriageio carriage look
ing for vacant place, the doors are slam
med. "All full, sir" says the guard. Ado
the long train moves out of OF the station
Immediately another train is ready. Yol
spring for seat. In five minutes thi.
train also is FULL and off.
Opposite you, in the carriage. sit thre,
British swells
This word ''swell" was once slang, Of