Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-03-03
Fl IT VI o Il.

HUMO
A MAN NOT TO BE JOKED WITH.-The
other day supplemented German called
on grocer to pay bill, giving him a $40
note. The grocer examined it and said:
'Hello, where did you get this note?"
"Vot is de reason NIT dose note?" re-
piled the honest Teuton. ''Don't she wash
good, heinz"
''Good,' answered the grocer; "why,
you're lucky man; that note is worth
$1O.5O."
''Ish dot so? Why for?"
"You see the signature over here, don't
your"
s'Dose tings like a corkscrew mit de
worms? Yah.'
well, that's Spinner's signature"
sVell."
swell, Mr.. New is now treasurer of the
United States.''
s'You don't told me so! Veil !"
swell, and notes signed by Spinner are
getting scarce, and people pay per cent.
q.
''By shiminy! ish dot so?"
eyes. Let me see your bills. Why,
every one of them is a Spinner. Man alive
your fortune is made"
In pursuance of the grocer's advice, Mr..
Schneider appeared at the sub-treasury
Saturday afternoon to get the premium on
his bills. What success he had it is i'm
possible to state, but he was seen later i'll
the evening lurking around the streets b,
which the grocer must go home, and on
being accosted by an acquaintance, the
following conversation took place:
der peoples from Chermany fights well,
helm ?"
ooh, yes the Germans are unquestiona-
bly, military nation Of the first class"
''Some big fights, helm Leipsic 20
eyes,
''Und Shadowa ?"
s'Yes.''
''Und Keniggratz."
"Certainly.''
''Und Worth, and Mars la Tour, udd
G.avelatte, und Sedah ?"
''Of course, Of course"
sDose was all big battless, und der
Deu1sch licked?"
Eyes p"
NVell, you shoost wait till dat grocery
store shuts himself, und you saw il Deutscl'
victory vot makes you forget all then.
little ones. "-Chicaqo Tribune.
''Young ladies have the privile re of $: y
ing anything they please during leap Year,"
she said, cycling him ont of the corner IF
her eyes with sweet look. His heart CAV
great bound, and. while he wondered II
she was going to ask the question whic:.
he had so long desired and feared TO do, he
answered, Eyes" "And the young men
must not refuse" said she. "No, no. How
could they 20 sighed he. "Well,' then"
said she, twill you-7 He fel' on his
knees and said, Anything anything you
ask, darling!' wait till I get through
Will you take walk, and not hang around
our house so much 90 And he walked
'sThis is my last CALI remarked flip
pant young gentleman to young lady w
was soon to be married, on Il recent Occa-
sion. Il never call on married women or
unmarried ladies after they have reached
twenty-five" "Ycu do well, sir;' grave
ly remarked an elder lady present. cat
that age, and after marriage, they begin to
know the value of time, and do not like to
waste it,"
That was shrewd girl, and not devoid
of sense either, who remarked. when 9TH
Ell girls were making fun of her short skirts
and affected to be much shocked at the ex-
hibition thereof at a party: eff you'd on
ly pull up your dresses about your neck,
where they ought to be, they'd be as short
as mine - She was not troubled any
mere.
A lady Of Rockville, Conn.,, received a |
note the other day, asking if few friends |
could have a surprise party at her house.
She said yes, and took up her carpet and I
make ample preparations. The evening
came and passed without even visitor.
That's where the surprise came in.
ssCall that a kind man?'' said an actor, |
speaking of an acquaintance; "a man who |
lis away from his family and never sends |
them farthing? Call that kindness?"
"Yes. unremitting Kindness" replied Jer-
rold.
A young printer having occasion to
set up the well-known line: "Slave l have
set nv life upon cast" astonished the
proof reader with the following version:
ASlave, have set my wife upon cask."
An Indiana farmer don't pay any tolls.
He shoots the gate-keeper, and joys right
along. They have tried him twice, but he (
gets clear. since one of his aunt's cousins
.fsed to act 'sfighty like"
A New York temperance lecturer says
one of the chief causes of the present fl
nanciai depressionis alcoholic indulgence
The Boston ''Posts asks: Does he mean
to say that money is .'tight2''
She asked him ii her neW dress wasn't as
sweet as spring rose, and the hEpt" said
III was. even to the minor attraction Of stiE
shaving little due on it.
All Pin is the Chinese Minister to the
United States, but it's not stated what
A h in q |