Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1876-07-20
M'Donald Clarke, the "Mad Poet

In 1926 Joseph Bonaparte, the ex-
King of Spain, who, with numer-
GUS retinue, was stopping at the
"United States" was present at q
dinner party given in his honor by
Mr.. Henry Walton. He was accom-
panied by his sister, Caroline Murat,
and his two daughters. Though a
king, he looked very much like other
mortals. His manners, dress, and
equipage were wholly unassuming,
quiet and unpretentious, as was the
case with the ladies of mis- family.
The rank was there and needed no
demonstration. In the course of the
dinner, Bonaparte suddenly turned
deadly pale, and, with the perspira>
ton standing Oh his forehead, turned
imploringly to his host, gasping out,
"Un chat I'm chat !"
"John," said Mr.. Walton to his
waiter, stake away the cat; it dis,
turbs this gentleman"
Scat, sir p echoed John, 81 see no
cat /"
The other members of the family
now Joined in the search; and at last,
sure enough, crouched under the
sideboard, was discovered little
frightened kitten. But is was not
until Bonaparte had lain down for
some hours that he recovered from
the prostration into which the pres
ence of the feline had thrown him.
Tho dinner was followed in the
evening by brilliant party. Among
other literary gentlemen present were
Theodore S. Fay, Percival, Paulding.
Irving, Verplanck, and Joseph r.
Chandler. M'Donald Clarke, the
"mad poet" was also among the
guests. Clarke did not remain long,
nor did he circulate among the COM
pany. Most of the time he stood by
the door, his pose and style the ia
milliar attitude of the classic Napo-
leon, with arms folded. His head
rested, not upon his breast, but his
eyes looked up to the ceiling, while
on one foot was a jack boot, and on
the other was large clumsy shoe.
After be had left, Colonel Stone re-
lated TO the company the history of
the stanza by Clarke that had lately
appeared in the Commercial 1t seems
that Lang, in his Neao York Gazette,
had alluded to "MDonald Clarke,
that fellow with zigzag brains." The
insulted poet rushed into the sane
tum of the Commercial. blazing with
fury.
Do you see, colonel" said he.
"what Johnny Lang says of me ? He
calls me follow with zigzag brains"
swell, and so you are" said the
colonel. 81 think it is very happy
description of you"
"Oh, that's very well for you to
say" retorted M'Donald. "I'll take
a joke from you; but Johnny Lang
shall not destroy my well.earned
reputation. Zigzag brains, forsoothl
Zigzag brains-think of it colonel /
must have chance to reply to him
in your paper"
GLOW much space would you
want ?" inquired the colonel.
81 think | could use him up in q
column and q half" SAID M'Donald.
ga column and half p said the
colonel. "Stuffl You shall have no
such space. I'll give you just four
lines and if that will answer, fire
away; but not one line more"
The poet, thus driven into cor
ner, instantly wrote off the following
neat epigram
81 can tell Johnny Lang, In the way Of laugh
In reply to his rude and unmannerly scrawl,
That. in my humble sense, it is better by half
To have brains that are zigzag than no brains at
all"
There, colonel" said be, ." let
Johnny Lang put that in his pipe
and smoke it."--From Saratoga
Springs" by WILLIAM L. STONE, in
Harper'S Magazine for august.