davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
p KrNyAMAN. H.K.H HERsHIsER.
ms KINSAMAN &s HRRSHISER

DIS n NANAAO lA~E1
TAVR OPENED AN OFFICE OVER
III Hubbard's Drug store, corner WASH
ington and Market Sts., a. are ready 10 at
tend TO all calls day ami Mt. Special at
tentiOn paid TO the treatn, ent OF the diseases
of females and children. Ohice hours from
10 10 A. NJ. and 2 10 Z. n. DIR. Klnna-
mans residence, Greenfield St, near Held
eIberg College; DIR. Hershiser's, first door west
of Yingling,s store, West Madison st.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

The Corners Afflicted By the Gross In
ndeIITy OF Col. Ingers0II, or Illinois.
EOE on the stump for hayes, Held
3 Meeting 70 DeBOunce HIm-Joe
Blgler Makes Trouble.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

A I.rOKEEY AT Law. Special atten'
a ton given 20 ElI kinds Of Military
Claims, Back pay, Bounty, Pensions &C.
once In National Exchange Bank BLOCK,
opposite the Court House, Thin, ONO
Jan. "a.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

A RCHITECT AND GENERAL BUILD
"A Err, will take contracts for putting up
Blocks, Dwellings, etc, or will oversee sucn
work. Drawings, Drafts, Plans, etc, for ev-
terms. Residence, No. ~ Washington st.,
Thin. o.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
Local Business Notices

Miss WELLER has just returned
from the eastern cities with q large
and elegant stock of millinery and
fancy goods. To be appreciated they
must be seen. All her old friends and
the public generally are invited to
call and examine them.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
sOuDDER CHAmRERLAu

A UCTIONEER. Speaks both German
"a and English. VIII answer calls for town
and country at reasonable rates. Address,
Green Spring, Ohio. PLY
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

OUR first annual opening Of Fall
Millinery will take place Tuesday and
Wednesday 18th and 18th insts. Call
and see the display we will make.
]. w. HOAG.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

haaAIsaaaass
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
g. W. RREsTEI.,

CURVEYOR AND CIVIL ENGINEER.
y Office over Hubbard's Drug Store. Sur
Veys, Maps, etc, made promptly, accurate
ly and on reasonable terms.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

J. ]. MoRY, D. In. COOPER, N. d.
MORY d COOPER.
nHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. has
opened an Office In Prof Rust's BLOCK,
on the corner Of Washington and Madison
streets and are ready at all hours during day
and night 70 attend 10 professional calls.
May be consulted in German or English.
nl4-
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
BACHnAS. &c II
RACHMAN A RRPPRL.
JOHN GwYEN q son.

. TTORNEYs AT LAW. Once over
n National Exchange Bank, corner of
Washington ard Market streets, Tina, u.
Nov IL l1l-mh
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
MISCELLANEOUS.
VIM. GALLUP.
@. COOKE

VH!-e Jewelry, sBest American Gold and
II Ailver watches, etc. Repairing done
promptly. Opposite Court House TifIin.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
c., r. l. & p. r. II.

-THEDIRECT ROUTE FOR
Joliet, Morris, La Sale, Peru, HenrF, Lacon
Peoria, 6eReSeO, Moline, Rock LSLlIld,
Davenport, Auscdtf1le, WGshfagton,
4o'0a CITY, GrlnneU, Nel0ton,
DeS MOines,
COUNCIL BLUFFS & OMAHA,
WITHOUT CHAEGE z OF CARS,
Where IL Joins with the Union Pacific Rail-
way for Denver, Salt Lake CITY, Sscraraepto,
Pacific Coast.
TRAINS LEAVE DAILY as FOLLOWS.
Omaha, Leavenworth & Atehison Express
Sunday exoepted) lO.O0 A. NJ. Peru Ae-
cOmmodatiOn. Sunday excepted)
500 2, NJ. Omaha Express
Saturdays Ex.) Loo, p. N.
KANSAS LINE.
The Chicago, Rock Island & Pacific Rail-
road Company have now opened their
South Western Division between
leaTsnESrth, AbhiSOn aud Chicago,
Connecting at Leavenworth with the Kan
sas Paclnc and Missouri Pacific railroads, and
at Atchlson with the AtchisOn, Topeka &
santa re, central Branch Union Pacific,
and Atehison q Nebraska Railroads, for all
points in
Rdnsds, Indian Territories, Colorado
and NelU MeIieO.
THIS Company have built full eomple.
ment Of Palace Drawing-ROom and Sleeping
Cars, which for external beauty and Interior
arrangements for the comfort, convenience
and luxury Of passengers are unexcelled, II
equaled, by any other cars Of the kind in the
"THRoUGH TICKETS for sale at all Cen
-erRI Railway Offices IN the states and
'Canadas. HUGH RIDDLE
A. N. SIXTH, Gen. Sup't.
Gen. Pass. Agt
rn4O-6m
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

Nos. 8 and 10 run daily, all other trains
daily except Sunday.
Through Coaches on Nos. 5 and O, between
Sandusky and Cincinnati.
Sleeping Coaches on Nos. g and 10 between
Sandusky and Cincinnati.
Through Coaches on Nos. 5, 6. 7, 10, lG & II
between SanduslIy and Columbus T; on Nos.
1917, IG, and Is between Columbus and Gin
cinnatl.
The above times will be made as far as
practicable but not guaranteed.
CHAs HoWARD, ID. W. q. BROWN,
superintendent. General Manager.
BIN. BRoNsON, General Ticket Agent.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

PITTSBURGH, II. WAYNE L CHICAGO BY
ON AND AFTER April I6, 1876, Trains
" will leave Stations daily, (Sundays ex-
cepted), as follows:
TRAINS GOING WEST.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
r. n. TIME TABLES.
NJ @. GL. n. ifofLrO "a.

Toledo Division
nN and after April %, 1870, Trains viii
leave stations daily As follows, Sundays
excepted: ,,..,-,, ,,,r...,-
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
STATIONS. Ex.
GOING WEST.
GOING EAST.

E-ofulf
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

A TrOENEY AT LAW. Legal business OF
n ali Kinds, cOnveyaEcing, examination
81 titles, etc, promptly attended TO- Palehts
obtained by direct application 10 the Patent
Office. Office over National Exchange Bank.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

FIR. MYERS, GenT Pass. and Ticket Ag't
J. \. MORRIS, Superintendent.
w. f. ZEAL Master TRANSPORTATION.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
EEIsOs NOBLE. NELSON y. IL II
EnRWE TTTEE
~ RRFWER,

A TTORNEY AT LAW, Thin, o., once
"A In Mobiles Block, over Col. Bowman 3
CrOckeTy Store, opposite National Block.
MAY Z, ZI-n3l-ly.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
EUHs sfcCAUaEY.

. .F-rat,,gF.y AT LAW. linn, Ohio. once
corner Main aud Perry stItSe
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
MAIN LINE-GoING NORTH.

Findlay Branch Trains leave Findlay at
200 A. NJ b; 2:S5 p. NJ; arr:ve In Carey ~
1000 A. NJ 335 p. NJ. Leave Carey at 1880
p. M; 4:30 p. NJ. arrive In Flndlay at laO
p. NJ. : $50 p. NJ.
Columbus, Springfield & Gin, Line.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

Lake Erie 6 Louisville.
lime Card No. %, taking effect April II. 1876
TRAINS GOING WEST.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
llEnRaE p. sENEI,

Z T-rDRNEY At LAW. Singers bi"eA
- TiGia, Ohio.
usl-'.a-iN
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
w.P. sOBLE.

u tAAsAsHs-aA Ash@@ps
gTDESF.Y At LAW. Once oppoSie r
a rs.-ye 8 cos. Furniture store, f.s.'t
.-Hflr-; ~. IifTiu. %. nl1-''
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12

NOTARY PUBLIC aud General Collection
II Agency. VIII attend 10 any business
intrusted 10 him promptly. once al
.si.bsinyiilc. ohio. q
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-10-12
I. If. EIDGRLY,

A I-rORSEY- Ofice 10 Milier's
"A Block, Washington Street, opposite ths
'Burt House. 03-ly
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

In the Boston T'areler we find this
statement:
The brigantine Fred Eugene (of Port
land. Me- Captain Adam $. Smalley.
sailed from Bordeaux November oath,
of the twenty-rinth. when about six
hundred miles from land. Captain
Smalley dreamed that he saw Il number
of men in peril. and could save them.
He went on deck. and ordered sharp
lookout kept. but saw nothing: then he
went below again, and turned in and
slept. The dream was repeated, and
again he turned out 1t was still dark.
the vessel was going free, but he changed
her course two points nearer the wind.
At daylight he went aloft, and saw Il
vessel to windward with signal of dis
tress flying. He Immediately close
hauled his vessel; the wind was blowing
a gale, but he increased sail and COM
menced beating to windward, but what
he made on one tack he lost on the next,
for his vessel was flying light. At last
he determined to make a long stretch,
calculating on the vessel drifting toward
him. After considerable time, HE had
an impression to stay, and shortly after
ward observed three boats pulling
toward him. He hove to and received
twenty one men on board, the crew of
the ship Sparkenhoe, of Dublin, which
they had abandoned, unmanageable and
in sinking condition.
A fierce gale followed, which contin-
ned four days. When it abated, Cap
tain Smalley put into Gibraltar and
landed the men, but by so doing lost
twenty-seven days. Freights during
this time declined. much to the injury
of the owners of the brig. The British
Government made Captain Smalley a
present of chronometer watch and
chain, with this inscription on the watch:
Presented to Captain Adam s. Smalley.
of the American brigantine Fred Eugene,
in acknowledgement of his humanity
and kindness in rescuing the crew OF
the ship Sparkenhoc, of Dublin, on the
thirtieth of November. 1915" Captain
Smalley is Il native of st. George. Me-.
and went to sea when only eight years
of age. At nineteen he was captain,
and since then has never experienced
any serious accident to any vessel under
his charge. He has sailed many years
for Hon. Nehemiah Gibson, of East
Boston, who speaks of him in high
terms
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

The Chinese are the only nation who
know how to cover plates of sheet lead
with thin layers of colorless glass.
They use them OH the sides and domes
Of their temples, to which they lend a
lustrous and gorgeous appearance.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

An old curmudgeon says that the la
dies have Decoration Day every
Sunday.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

RATHER curious that none of the
Western cities now advertise themselves
as 81 the best point to start to the Black
Hills from"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

BY GRACE JEWELL.

yoRAH FLYNN LOSES HER SITUATION.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

\ YANKEE husband telegraphed to his
wife: What have you for breakfast, and
how is the baby?" The answer came:
"Buckwheat cakes and the measles"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

Within SIX years of the revolutionary
era of 1913, we have the Crimcan war,
the Indian mutiny, the Austro-French
war. which laid the broad foundation of
Italy. and the revolution which built it
up: our own civil war, the first aggrcs-
sivc reappearance OF Prussia on the
European stage in the attack upon Den
mark. the Austro-Prussian war which
carried on the unitcation of the King
dom of Italy and prepared the way for
the new German empire, the Franco
Prussian war that destroyed the empire
of Napoleon, laid the capstone on the
column of Italian unity, and further al
vanced the great editice of German ma
tionality; the revolutions in Spain, the
English wars in Africa, the Chinese re-
belliOn, the opening up of Japan, so
long shut up, as it were, within brazen
wall; the abolition of slavery in Amcri-
ca, the abolition of serfdom in Russia,
the confederation of Canada-these are
some of the political events that will at
once occur to the mind OF the reader as
making the last twenty years remarka-
BILE era, and now we are watching with
interest what seem to be the signs of the
rapid approach of another great conflict
in the old world. We may see, before
long, the utter destruction of the Mos
lem power that poured into Christen-
dom in the middle ages, threatened to
supplant the civilization of the Bible
with the civilization of the Koran-to
make the European the slave of the
Asiatic.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

The ORIGINAL Printers DEVIL
The expression printers devil" is said
to have thus originated: Aldus Manu-
thus was printer in Venice. He owned
a negro boy who helped him in his
office l.; and some people were supersti-
tious enough to believe him an emissary
of Satan. He was known over the city
as "the little black devil" Desiring
to satisfy the curiosity of the populace,
he one day publicly exhibited his boy,
and proclaimed" 1, Aldus Manutius,
printer to the Holy Church and to the
Doge, have this day made public expo
sure of the printers devil. All who
think he is not flesh and blood. come
and pinch him"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09


A SUBMARINE INTERNAL MACHINE
Captain Lays Internal machine, which
is being experimental with ut Washing
ton, if it does half that is promised for
it, will practically make an end of naval
warfare, for no armOr nor guns would
avail against it, and it would destroy
any vessel that could be set ahoat before
single shot could be fired. 1t consists
of q small submarine, cigar-shaped craft,
propelled by chemical engines, and
steered by q telegraphic apparatus COM
municating with the shore or small fleet
crafts from which the machine is
launched. It carries barrel and a
half of dynamite - enough when eX-
ploded under the largest iron-clad ever
launched to blow her to atoms, and the
dynamite also is exploded by electrical
current transmitted through wire con-
Meeting with the shore or vessel from
which the machine is launched. All
that is needed to sink the most formid-
able navy afloat is fleet tug or two
equipped with, say dozen of these
machines, which could be launched be-
fore the tug got within range of the YES
sells to be destroyed, and propelling
themselves under water with almost
incredible speed, could be steered
10y the telegraphic apparatus directly
under the hostile ships and exploded
10y an electric spark to destroy them.
Should the machine prove equal to this
when it gets into use, as shortly it would
among all nations, naval battles would
no more he thought of than battles in
balloons.
IN England they tell how Sankey
walked up to Il grenadier and taking
him atfectionately by the belt, said
Young man, | likewise am soldier
a soldier of Heaven" "Old 'un,' re.
piled the grenadier, you're long way
from your barracks, anyhow"
MOVING for q new trial Counting a
second wife.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

A LESSON IN POLITENEss.-A friend
of Dean Swift one day sent him turbot
as a present by q servant lad, who had
frequently been on similar errands, but
had never received anything for his
trouble. Having gained admission, he
opened the study door, and putting the
fish on the floor, cried out rudely,
" Master has sent You turbot !"
"Young man." says the dean, rising
from his easy chair, is that the way
you deliver q message? Let me teach
you better manners; sit down on my
chair; we will change places, and l will
teach YOU how to behave in the future. !"
The boy sat down, and the dean, going
out, came up to the door, and making
a low bow, said, Sir, master presents
his kind compliments, hopes you are
we'll, and requests your acceptance of II
small present" docs hep" replied
the boy; return him my best thanks,
and here's half crown for yourself !"
Tie dean, thus caught in his own trap,
laughed heartily, and gave the boy Il
crown for his ready wit.
WHEN q Lapland woman with baby
wishes to attend church, she always
takes the child with her. As soon as the
family arrive at the little wooden edi-
flee, and the reindeer are secured, the
father shOvels IL snug little bed i'll the
snow, and the mother wraps the baby
in skins and deposits it therein. Then
the father piles the snow around it, and
the dog is set on guard. while the pa
rents 60 decorously into the church.
Often us many AS thirty babies may be
seen thus laid away in the snow.
\ YANKEE husband telegraphed to his
wife: what have you for breakfast, and
how is the baby?' The answer came:
"Buckwheat cakes and the measles"
RATHER curious that none of the
Western cities now advertise themselves
as g the best point to start to the Black
Hills from"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-09-09

MOVING for q new trial Counting a
second wife.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-08-10
A LOVE STORY.

He was young, he was fair, and he
parted his hair like the average beau,
in the middle; he was proud. he was
bold, but the truth must be told, he
played like fiend on the fiddle. Bar
ring his voice, he was every thing nice,
and his heart was SO loving and ten
der, that he always turned pale when
he trod OH the tail of cat lying
down by the fender. lie clerked in
store, and the way that he tore off
calico, jeans and brown shccting,
woNld have tickled calf and made
the brute laugh in the face of quar-
terly meeting. He cut quite dash
with darling mustache, which he
learned to adore and cherish; for one
girl had said while she dropped her
proud head, that 'twould kill her to
see the thing perish. On Sundays
he'd search the straight road to the
church, unheeding the voice of the
scorner and demurely he sat like a
young tabby cat, with the saints in
the amen corner. lie sang like bird
and his sweet voice was heard fairly
tugging away at long meter; and we
speak but the truth when we say that
this youth could outsing hungry
mosquito.
She was young, she was fair, and
she scrambled her hair, like the aver
age bells of the city; she was proud,
but not bold, yet the truth must be
told, the way she chawed wax was a
pity. Barring this vice, she was every
thing nice; the world admired her
hustle and the Fayetteville boys, be-
ing calmed by the noise, walked miles
to hear it rustic. She cut quite a
swell did this waX-chewing belle, and
mt n flock ID in crowds meet her ;
but she gave them the shirk, for she
loved the yoang clerk, who sang like
hungry mosquito. So she hemmed
and she hawed. and she sighed and
she "chawed," till her heart and her
jaws were broken; then she walked
by the store, while he stood at the
door awaiting some lovely token. She
raised up her eyes with mock surprise
and tried to enact the scorner; 20 tell
the truth, she grinned at the youth
who loved the amen corner.
They met-alas what came to pass,
was soft and sweet and precious they
wooed, they cooed, he talked, she
chewed-o',, how. they lovef', good
gracious. They had to part, he rose to
start; her grief cannot be painted !;
these are the facts she swallowed her
wax, then screamed, then choked then
tainted; her pa appeared, her beau
quite scared, rushed out to get some
water the watchdog spied his tender
hide and bit him where he "onghter."
The tale is sad, the sequel stern--so
thinks the youth thus bitten. He sings
no more, as oft of yore-he gave the
girl the mitten.
She pined apaca, her pretty face
looked slender and detected her fa-
ther kind, but somewhat blind, beheld
her and reflected. His income tax he
spent in wax-she smiled and called
him clever. She went to work, forgo OF
the clerk, and chawed in bliss forever.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-08-10
THE MOON AND THE WEATHER.


The notion that the moon exerts an
influence OIL the weather is SO deeply
rooted that, notwithstanding all at
tacks which have been made against
it, it continues to retain its hold upon
us. And yet there never was pop
ular superstition more utterly without
basis than this one. If the moon re-
ally did possess any power over the
weather, that power could be excrcis-,
ed in one of these ways-by reflection
on the suns rays, by attraction, or by
emanation. No other form of action
is conceivable. Now. as the brightest
light of a full moon is never equal in
Intensity or quantity to that which is
reflected toward us by a white cloud
on summers day, it can scarcely be
pretended that the weather is affected
by such a cause. That the moon does
exert attraction on us is manifest-we
can see it working in the tides; but
though it can move water, it is most
unlikely that it can do the same to air.
for the specific gravity of the atmos-
phere is so small that there is nothing
to be attracted. Laplace calculated, in
deed, that the joint attraction of the
sun and moon together could not stir
the atmosphere at quicker rate than
five miles a day. AS for lunar emana-
tions not a sign of them has ever been
discovered. The idea of an influence
being produced by the phases of the
moon is therefore based on no Eecog-
nizable cause whatever. Furthermore,
it is now distinctly shown that no var
iations at all really occur in weather
at the moment of the change of quar-
ter, any more than at any other ordi-
nary times! Since the establishment
of meteorological stations all over the
earth, il has been proved by millions
of observations that there is no stimuli
taneOusness whatever between the
supposed canse and the supposed eff
fect. The whole story is fancy and
superstition which has been handed
down to us uncontradicted, and which
we have accepted as true because our
forefathers believed it. The moon ex-
ercises no more influence on weather
than herr ings do Oh the Government
Of d.-BldckDOOd
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-08-10
HE WANTED TO SELL A PATENT.

soon aftef dinner, yesterday, vel
pleasant-faced man. having something
wrapped up in paper under his arm,
called at Detroit hotel and requested
few minutes conversation with the
landlord. When they were seated the
stranger began: ....-....r.f
81 am an old landlord myself. l
kept hotel in st. Louis for twenty
eight years. tf
Yes was the non -cemmittal reply
of the landlord. r .,
And, of course. 1 know all about
the Inconvenience of hotel keeping,
resumed the man. There were bugs
around the beds in my hotel, and there
are bugs around the beds in every ho-
tel, suppose. Of course, l used to
lie to the guests, but the bugs were
there, and knew it,
what do ysu mean p demanded the
landlord, growing red clear round to
his neck. 'fi
Just keep right still,' replied the
man, 'for now rm coming down to
biz. This is the summer season, isn't
it. and the only season when the bugs
bite? In the winter they are dormant,
and unless there's fire in the room
they don't care to get in their work
on the weary traveller. Weh,the sum
mer season lie the season for the mos.
quito also. All the hotels and houses
have mosquitoes and nothing is
thought oft. They seem to be sort
of necessity. Travellers will raise a
howl over bugs, but they never even
grumble atany one about mosquitoes.
Sir! do you think l keep a junk
shop?' roared the landlord,
mo, sir, don't. This is a regular
hotel, and very good one. AS was
going to remark, have invented and
patented machine, Operated by a boy
and crank, which you and all other
landlords want and will have. 1t is
machine 10 initiate the hum of mosqui-
toes It's notes can he heard all over
each floor, and with a good boy at the
crank there can be no failure. The
traveller just doing off TO sleep hears
the hum. At the same time d bug
works out from under cover. Then
more huns and more bugs. Actually,
sir, without any lying or exaggerating,
men will strike and claw the air all
night long TO kill imaginary mosqni-
toes, while the bugs go unmolested
and grow fat. The hum is perfect
imitation, and has even deceived Yale
College Professors. Without it your
guests will blow around about bugs.
With it no traveller will mention hugs
at all, but will rip and tear at the mos
quitoes.'
'Do you mean to insult me?' shout.
ed the landlord.
mo, SIR
'But you talk as if had bugs in my
houseH st4f iE
I'll tell you what I'll do, landlord
I'll examine five beds, and if l don't |
ind bugs in at least three of them LII |
give you a machine for nothing
1t would have been a nip -and-tuck
tight If the great big porter hadn't
Jumped in and hit the stranger with
IN iron boot-iack. The inventor still
ived, however, and within half an
iOur was seen bearing down for an
,ther hotel under full sail.-Detron
Free Press.