Smyrna times., 1876-08-02
The Bachelor Reclaimed.
BY THE LATE HENRY T. TCCKERMAN.

$50 you arc determined not to marry ?"
Absolutely"
"And why q
=" In the first place, never expect to be
able to support wife according to my
ideas of comfort. In the second place,
have no hope Of meeting a woman who will
sympathize sufficiently with my feelings
and views to be a congenial companion.
Thirdly, | cannot bear the idea of adopting
as constant associates the relations of her
may love. And fourthly, | consider house
keeping and all the details of domestic
arrangements, the greatest bore in exist
ence."
This colloquy took place between two
young men, in the garden of one of the
fashionable hotels at Saratoga. 1t was q
sultry afternoon, and they had retired un-
der the shade of an apple tree, to digest
their dinner, which process they were
facilitating by occasionally putting some
very mild, lightbrown Havana cigars. The
last remarks were uttered in very calm
and positive tone, by McNiel, a philosophi-
cal and quiet gentleman, who had a most
sensible theory for everything in life.
Among other things, he took great pleasure
IN the conviction that he thoroughly under
stood himself. The first time his interest
was truly excited by member of the
gentler sex, he had acted in the most ex-
travagant manner, and barely escaped with
honor from forming most iniudicious con
nection. To guard against similar mis-
haps, he had adopted a very ingenious plan.
Being uncommonly susceptible to female
attractions, he made it a rule when charmed
| by a sweet face, or thrilled by a winning
voice, to seek for some defect or weakness
of character in the fair creature, and obsti.
nately dwell upon neutrality-suspicious. until
they cast shade over the rodecming traits.
and dissolved the spell he feared. When
this course failed, he had but one resource.
With Falstait, he thought discretion the
better part OF valor, and deliberately fed
from the allurcmcnt5 that threatened his
peace. Thus he managed not to allow
love to take permanent possession, and
after various false alarms and exciting
vigils, came TO the conclusion that no long
siege or sudden attack would ever subduc
the citadel of his affections.
But McNicl had so braccd himself in 9
spirit of resistance, that he had made nc
provision against the unconscious lures ot
beauty. lie could chat for hours, with 6
celebrated jeHe, and leave her without q
sigh; he could smile at the captivatine
manners which overcame his fellows. Re
garding society as a battlefield, he went
thither armed at ali points, resolved tc
maintain his self-posscssion, and be on the
watch against wiles of woman. He haC
seen lovely girls i'll the drawingroom, fol
lowed their graceful movements in tho
dance, heard them breathe songs of senti
ment at the piano, and walked beside
them on the promenade. On these occa
sions, he coolly formed an estimate of theil
several graces, perfectly appreciated every
finely chiselled nose and tempting lip
noted with care the hue and expression o
the eye, but walked proudly away at part
ing, murmuring to himself, "All this see
yet am not in love-"
But who can anticipate the weapon that
shall lay him low, or make adequate pro
vision against the inexhau0tible resource.
of love? McNiel had sat for a week a.
table, opposite an invalid widow and hel
daughter. He had passed them potatoe.
not less than dozen times, and helped
the young lady twice to cherry-pie. The
only impression he had derived from thei
demeanor and appearance was, that the,
were very genteel and quiet On the morn
ing after his conversation in the garden, hC
awoke just before sunrise, and found him
self lying with his face to the wall, in onC
of the diminutive chambers in which yisi
tors to the Springs are so unceremoniousl,
packed. His eyes opened within six inche
of the plaster; and he amused himself fo
some minutes in conjuring the cracks ant
veins it displayed, into imaginary forms o
warriors and animals. At length his minC
reverted to himself, and his present quar-
ters. "Well, I've been here Just a fort
night" thus he mused, "and pretty dull
time I've had of it. Day after day, tn,
same stupid routine. In the morning
swallow six glasses of Congress Water a
the springs, with the hollow eyes of tha
sick minister from Connecticut glaring O,
me like serpent, and the die-away tone
of that nervous lady from Philadelphia
sounding like knell in my ears, 1 canno
drink in peace for those everlasting Mise
Hill, vino all three chatter at once. anC
expect me to be entertaining and talkativ,
so early in the morning, with my stomach
full Of cold liquid, and long dull day i,
perspectiveI Then comes breakfast. Th
chatter of plates, the murmur of voices
the rushing of the black walters, and th,
} variety of steams, make me glad to retreat
} | find a still corner of the piazza, and beeil
to read; but the flies, draught of air, o
the intrusive gabble of my acquaintance
utterly prevent mo from becoming absorbed
! in O book, IL has now grown too warm 4,