National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1876-07-11
MY SAIL DOWN THE RIVER.
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Toby OF other days. Like my Uncle Toby OF other
days, my Uncle stephen was continually insisting
that flies were made for good purpose; that he
never liked to see people kill them. and that the
world was big enough for US all to live in and be
happy. My Uncle Stephen had always been in
love, and yet he had never married. Indeed
there was nothing in the world he was more fond
of than relating his love adventure. Unlike our
Uncle Toby of other days, my Uncle Stephen had
no taste for erecting fortircations, and of dis
coursing on the victories of our army man in
Flanders, but he was more than
MATCH FOR TOBY
at building castles and showing you a scheme he
had for making allmankind comfortable. In
truth, the only time ever saw my Uncle Stephen
put out in temper was when he had built pair
Of castles just to oblige gentleman Of his &C.
quaintance, and was told by the gentleman that
he would prefer to live in a log cabin.
Notwithstanding my Uncle Stephen could not
see fly killed without shedding tear he had
military title. He was a major, and all his
letters came to him prcfnced in that way. How
he got that military title was a deep mystery to
me for many years. He had a habit, however, of
getting the govt in his two big toes and while In
one of the unhappy moods common to this COM
plant, my Uncle Stephen told me, in Whisper
and ter exncting an assurance that 1 would
make it q matter Of confidence, that he would tell
ME how he got his military title. He ran away
from school when quite a boy and fought in the
army Of Venezuela. Again, while travelling in
Mexico, the passengers rugged him up in majors
uniform put big sword in his hand and seated
him on the drivers box, as a means OF protecting
them against brigands. This course proved a
great success. That was the way my Uncle
stephen got his military title.
Now, my Tuele Stephen was taken grievously
sick several months ago end BIS been an invalid
ever since. He almost lost the use of his limbs,
and was indeed so sick that we all made up our
minds that his time had come, and that he would
soon bid us goodbye and take his departure for
that place in Paradise the great Father had prom
ised to reserve for him. And yet, after ALL it was
too much physIc that he'd brought him so near to
deaths door. DIR. John l.. johnson, formerly of
the law profession, had been for weeks saturating
him with various kinds of govt medicine, all of
which my poor old Uncle Stephen swallowed,
confident that 1t would restore him to health in q
very few days. But his fever increased, his
strength gave way, he lost his appetite entirely,
and he wasted away, day by day, until there was
but very little of him let, and his only diet was
milk punches. Then DIR. Verdi took him In hand
and the way he bombarded my Uncle Stephe as
ma adj: with little pills was truly alarming. Be-
tween DIR. JOhnscn's heavy doses and DIR. Verdi's
little pill practice it looked as If there would be
nothing left of my Uncle Stephen in a very short
me. He began, however, to improve, but
the progress was so slow and almost imper-
ceptible, and he become impatient and e.fuI,
Uncle Stephen" said l. 'throw that medicine to
the dogs and come with me. We will charter
the Lady of the Lake, Rear Admiral ThompJOn
(supernumeraTy,) and Capt. White, commanding
atiOat, and we will take Il sail down the pretty
Potomac and into the Chesapeake bay, where the
fresh, bracing sea breeZes will put new lite into
our invalid, give him a ravenOus appetite, and in
decd mako him feel young again." As q further
tnducement told him we would visit the ancient
city of Norfolk, the Ninevah OF America
My uncle Stephen said he wOdld do It; that he
had been thinking of salt water and sea
brcczcs as
CURE FOR HIS NALADIEs
for some time, but he was afraid of steamboats,,
he sid; he had once been :'blOwed up on the
Mississippi. l must agree with him that the
Lady of The Lake was a perfectly safe and com
ran the machinery, Mr.. O'Donnell, lineal de-
scendant of the Spanish don, would not blow him
up, and that CAPTAIN White was gentleman,
and Commodore Plant frst-class mariner. Of
course could do this with perfect safety, for the
cleaners of the Inland Tran sportatOn Company
are, o. their class, the finest ahOat. Indeed
scmetime3 think our people do rot appreciate the
omfo-ts and health. giving luxurie3 that have
Ueen provided for them by his company.
My Uncle stephen packed his satchel Che said
he had Travelled all over Texas and Mexico and
Venezuela with that satchel) with two shirts and
single pir Of stockings and set sail at o'clock.
Thee was large party Of ladies and gentlemen,
&c ZEAL MeCook, who has the rare faculty. of
making everybody happy. My Uncle Stepne1
uau 10 sObpeT got aDOdIu Inan ne JOlu the purSer
that he was an invalid, and wanted 4 ST. teroom
IN the coolest part of the ship where he could get
the sea breeze. That very cO1sder.te young
men Il would inscribc his name If knew III gave
us a forward stste~con, on the starboard hand.
Before we reocfed GlyInont my uncle came 10 nc
and said, vita significant smile, that he ''felt
an inclination"
"InclnatiOn to do what o" inquired
To take Just one julip" he replied. with sly
wink. He asked Commodore Plant If he
wouldn't join US, and he said he would My
u2cle sid he felt better fter that julp The all
question abO ut julips was now to make
Il EN-. He had known two real old Virginia gen.
tlemen, Of the olden time, dispute for a week on
the exact manner IN which a mint iullp should be
made. must add here that my Uncle stephen
0Gs very ford Of TELLING stories about mint julips
anu old yirs mia gentlemen: Quite a crowd had
gathered about him to hear him relate story OF
0 bed mint he once discovered in Texas. He
never was an expert in the saddle, but he trav-
clcd three hundred and ffly miles In Texas in the
saddle, and, though suffering for a iulip, could
not find a spear OF mint. At length he came to 4
inquired Of the landlord if he had any mint ice and
sugar. The landlord said he had all three in
great abundance, and could mako him a iulip
that would mako his hair curl "Friend :" said
my Uncle Stephen. dismountIng give my animal
good keeking, aud consider me your guest for a
week.
Come bither," ..2aid mine host, leading the
way, md will show you such mint bed as
YOU never saw before Sure enough, there was
a bcG of fine IrCsh mint, thirty-two inches wide
and six feet four inches long. Pray said my
strange phenomena"
"Thus,'' replied mine host, smiling: MANY
years ago q tine old Virginia gentleman, six feet
Jour inches in his stockings, came this way and
put up at my inn. He was very eccentric, and
was continually talking about his ancestry and
the good old stock he come from. He had little
money, nothing to do, end was very fond Of
cords. Stranger, he would play cards and talk
about his ancestors from sun up one day until sun
down of the next. He died one day while talking
rbCut mint julips, and his ancestors, in dear old
V.'2inia, and we bur ed him four feet deep, Just
where you see this M bed. The mint came up
on tie following spring ard We have had plenty
o. it ever lince." Such was my Uncle Stephens
story about the mint bed he found in Texas, and
why ii came TO grow there.
As an onset TO my Uncle Stephens story, Gen
eral McCOok told us one of Indian life on the fron-
tier. He also gave us few specimens of his skill
in nccromarcy. He could balance the waiter on
the tip of his nger and toss the balls with aston
ishing accuracy. In short, he was one of the
pIeasdntest Of travelling companions.
1t WAS o'clock: we were gliding swiftly down
the river, and past Maryland point when dis
covered my Uncle SteOhen and Governor Cook
enjoying another julIp. This, for an invalid. some
because he had beaten Commodore Plant six
games at seyen-up. He also began to inquire
what time We should have supper, an encouraging
sign t.,At his appetite was returning. When told
ttat We must reach the Upper Cedar Light before
supper, he went to Mr.. ODOnnell, the fat Pnd
gooU -natured engineer, and asked him if he would
not put on Just little more steam-that he be-
gan TO feel as If he could eat coop full Of chick
ems nd two OF three dishes OF stewed oysters, to
nothing OF SOFT craps. In snort, We nau as
good Il supper, and as well served, as you could
get anywhere; and my Uncle Stephen did ample
justice to il.
He said this salt water was exactly the medi-
cine he needed, and that he already felt. like
different man. I am sure he eat two dollars
worth OF supper, Washington prices, and only
had to pay seYenty-five cents. Twelve o'clock
and we bad passed Piney Point and Point Look
out and were plunging out finely into the broad
waters Of the Chesapeake bay, the wind blowing
fresh from the southeast. The moon was up and
I he ripping waves gave q charm to the bevitch-
ing scene. The ladies' sang for US and played on
the piano. and General AIcCOok made US all happy
by repeating his leats in necromancy. Thus mer-
riIy We went over the blue waters of the Chesa-
peake.
We all went quietly to bed at one o'clock. had a
good, sound sleep, and were up at seven, enjoying
a good breakfast in Hampton Roads, and reached
Norfolk before eight o'clock. Got into the street.
e,rs and spent two hours exploring that ancient
city, which my uncle Stephen would insist was
Mexican town, peoPled with MexicIns and Arabs.
II was market-day, and the vast number OF lean
horses, bulls and cows, harnessed to odd looking
carts, my uncle stephen asserted could be seen
nowhere outside Of Mexico. AFTER indulging in
fir tcla5s Iulip at the old National hotel and eat
ing cOit-shell crabs at Narcotics, We took the
Government barge and started for the GOspOrt
yy-yard, and paid our respects TO the genial
Commodore Stevens, who
RECEIVED Us WITH GREAT KINDNESS,
and gave my Uncle Stephen an ambulance to
ride over and the curiOsities of the yard.
While doing this noticed that the marines and