The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-01-17
NOTHING AND NOBODY

Farmer Giles was rapidly arriving ut
the conclusion that Nothing and Nobody
were the two great curses OF his life. He
was fractions, irritable man, but the
two Ms had worried him past all irri-
tation into philosophy. He meaitated
over question, which every day seemed
more m0mGntous, in this fashion:
"Eitier there's more lyin' down in
this world than l llal any idea Of, or
science is all humbng whom it says that
wrong effect has q cause. Dominie's
boy sayS SO, but hos Il varmint and con-
tradicts himself twenty times day.
The fence was broken down and nobody
did it. caught that JoO six yards from
tho smashed forcing frame. He'd been
doing nothing and so couldn't have done
it. The cats were tied together over the
clothes line, and fit till they clawed each
other up. Nobody did it. They must
have b en- born that way and grown up
in Siamese twin style, and nobody
knew it. II beats mo all to smash.
The farmer won't out, still pondcring
the problem. He was au educated man,
who took some pride in his education,
and didn't like to give it up all at once,
so he Thought he would wait further
Developments. To understand how the
matter puzzled him, it is necessary to
explain that though occasionally some.
what high tempered, lie was, when left
alone, rather mild man, with great
deal OF open simplicity, and an instinct
i've love Of truth, He always had an
idea that telling lie was punishment
OF itself. He never did it, and it never
would have occurred TO him, until 1t was
forced upon his notice, that anybody
would rather lie than bear the blame OF
n fault. His own honesty made him un-
suspicious and contiding, especially in
the unsophisticated innocence Of the
rising generation. His great fault was
that when anything troubled him he
was in the habit OF falling into q reveric
over it, and then vanish mildness, and
woe betide the individual who ventured
to break in upon him.
Ho went out, it Ind been eaid, his
mind "still next. Bermoothes," and
his eyes troubled and dangerous. On
reaching the stable door he spied the
housemaid Sue rushing out with flushed
face, then turning aud creeping back on
tip.toe. b On seeing him she bluahed
scarlet but tried to look demure.
"What are you doing here, Sue"
"Nothing, SIR" ...-a .-
gWho's with youl I"
UNTtkt v1n9 NnlNp1v uIr
"Hum. That's stange. The same
old story. Nothing, nobody. All! You
here, Joe! What's brought you over so
early p -, t,.,..,.-- "a.
"Oh nothing" .s Il. !,ss
az see. You two are helping each
other. Takes two to. do nothing, oh,
Suei And this is Mr.. Nobody, ehf I
call that more funny then civil; but,
p'raps, has used to it, and I don't know
that you re SO far wrong after NIL.
With which growl lie passed into the
stable. He went TO where his own horse
was stalled, and turned in evident dis.
pleasure to tho saddle rack to find cause
for an access to wrath.
"Dick! Dickl where are youf
Where have you been, and what are you
doiRgl", rsryrgg
"Nowhere, nothing, SIR
$50 there's been three OF those pre-
cious youngsters at that that job this
morning. Well, I don't wonder they
want company, at least I always hated
doing nothing alone when Twas young" P"
Then aloud: . -
"Who had my horse outi"
"Nobody, sir.&
"Then what's the matter with his
feet2 and what's wrong with the har-
ness I"
"No-otling, sir. r..
"Nothingl Can't I see, you internal
idiotl Do you suppose l am blind,
mad, or what! Can't tell that his feet
arc sore, aud two straps are broken !"
Ho Dyed the youngster for a moment
with wrathful scorn, and thon left, re-
asping into his reyerie.
Wonderfrll. positiyely wonderful