The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1876-06-10

ma, dOes p2 KISS the cMtT why,
no, my son. What in the name cf good
ness put that in your head r. ''Cos when
pa came down stairs this morning he kiaa-
ed Sarah in the hallway and Said, That's
better than kissing that old cat ND stairs,
amt il Sarah n
Baggs got up too early one morning, and
began 10 scold the servant girl. His little
six year old, who had beenulinteninR At-
tentlvely during the conversation. broke
in with Father, stop Scoldlng; You
needn't think James your wife"
Now, George. my dear" said Mrs.
SPitkins, at play the other night, a. her
hubby was cropping for his hat, You needn't
go out to get roasted coffse for your heart
burn l have brought handful in my
pocket"
Two shoemakers out in company were
asked their profession. Says ons Of them,
II practice the heeling art "And l."
says the other, ''lsbor for the good u
zen ssoiess
A iwaukee men made three unsuc-
cess III attempts to blow his brains out,
and then his wife told him Don't try
it again, Join; you havnt got any"
He goes now saying he owes his life to
that woman.
The census, It Is said, embraces seven
teen millions Of women. Upon which fact
a cotemporary asks, who wouldn't Be :
census
A wretched old bachelor says: "After
all, a Somans heart is the sweetest thing
in the world, its perfect honeycomb-fu
Of sells
A Glasgow ant quarry recently visited an
old castle, and asked one W the villagers
if he knew anything of an old story about
the building. "Ay sayed the rustic,
there was anither auld story, but il fell
down lang syne.
An old Baptist minister enforced the
necessity Of differences of opinion by ar
gument: Now, if everybody had been of
my opinion, they would all have wanted
my old woman. One Of the deacons,
who sat Just behind him, responded: /:
''Yes and if everybody was Of my opin-
on, nobody would have her. j"
Brother, Why don't you ask those two
strangers to pray r. Because reproV-
ingly observed deacon, this amt 40
place for practical Jokes. Those men are
a president Of a life insurance and a gas
company.
Six skunks got INTO . PennsylvaniA
camp meeting, and after standing it -
long as he could, one OF the brethren rose
and remarked ''If you all say so, below
ed, and | think you will, we'll get out Of
this. The Arch Enemy Of mankind must
be stirring up his nres, for | m sure smell
the gas.
George, my darling George, promise
me one thing, said the young bride of
month. as she threw her arms around her
husbands neck and gazed anxiously into
his face. what Is II precious II he
asked, as he drew her to his bosom
Promise me, George dear, that you will
not become a Presidential candidate
why, my darling, that is asking a good
deal" he replied, and his coun .enance
darkened. There is Jones, Smith AID
brown, and IN fact. all the best people
they are candidates. You want me TO
De somebody, don't you r. Yes, George,
| do, do, said the young wife, burst
ing into tears; ''Dut all the newspapers
will tell how bIg my feet are, and you
know folks never think that anybodyn
feet may be good shaped If they are large. {"
hc WHO Uldihts OTHERS the most Is Usu-
ally the most to be blamed A quick eye
to detect the faults Of another has usually
a blind side to its own. A sharp tongue
is moved by an unquiet spirit, and an un-
quiet spirit wanteth not words and com
plainings.
II never did see such a wind and such
storm :" said man IN a coffee room -
And pray, str, inquired a would be wit,
''since you saw the wind and storm, what
might their color be n The wind bletO
and the storm rose, vas the ready rejoin-
der.
A pompous little mGn approached a
Centennial gntekeeper AMI said: lin a
Philadelphia Alderman. ''Oh, that's no
matter, was the answer, that don't e1-
clude you. Pay your ~ cents, and you
can 90 in like the rest. "