Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-05
Odds and Ends.


Two oPINIoNs.-La Rochefoucauld
says: "The hell of woman is old age"
Holmes says: GA good and true
woman is said to resemble Oremona
fddle-age but increases it's worth and
sweetens it's tone"
A YOUNG lady, about to be married,
insisted on having certain clergyman
to perform the ceremony, saying: "He
always threw so much feeling into the
thing; and wouldn't give fig to get
married, unless it could be done in a
style of gushing rhapsody.
A LADY applying for admission to the
junior class Of al eastern seminary,
being questioned by the President as to
her qualifications, replied: 81 amt
much of an arithmeticker but am an
elegant grammarist.
A BACHELOR returning from hall, in
q crowded coach, declared with groan
that he had not the slightest objection
to rings on his fingers but he had a
most unequivocal aversion to "belles
on his toes"
A METHOD of covering cotton with
silk is devised. The silk is dissolved in
hydrochloric acid or an ammoniacal So
luton of copper or nickel. Water is
added until the solution begins to
cloud, when the cotton, previously NOR
danted, is immersed in it for few
minutes. When taken out it will be
found to be plated with silk.
THE procession of strangers. fifteen
hundred strong, marching up the
avenue yesterday headed by band Of
music was, quite naturally, supposed
to be another batch of Virginians on
their way to the Capitol to take posses
sion Of the House Offices. It proved,
however, to be an excursion party from
Pennsylvania Washington Star.
SCOTT SIDDoNs parts her hair like
strong minded man-on one side. The
next day after her appearance the girls
in one of the high schools of this vicini-
ty appeared at school hair la Siddons.
At the next session of the school the
young men appeared with their hair
parted in the middle. So fine sarcasm
naturally caused decline in the Sid
dons style.-LeaUistoaa Journal.
AN rishman was brought up before
a justice of the peace on a charge of
vagrancy, and was thus questioned:
"What trade are you2" "Sure nowl
your Honor, I'm sailor!' ''You
seafaring man! I question whether
you have ever been to sea in yonr l;fe!"
"Sure, now! and does your Honor
think came over from Ireland in q
wagin p
THERE is this difference between
those two temporal blessings -health
and money-money is the most envied,
but the least enjoyed; health is the
most enjoyed, but the least envied; and
this superiority of the latter is still
obvious when we reflect that the poor
est man would not part with health for
money, but that the richest would glad
" part with all their money for health.
Cotton.
In matters of great concern, and
which must be done, there is no surer
of weak mind than irresolu-
ton; to be undetermined where the case
is so plain, and the necessity 80 urgent.
TO be always intending to lead q new
life, but never to find time to set about
it; this is as if man should put off
eating, and drinking, and sleeping,
from one day and night to another, till
he is starved and destroyed .-Tillotson.
BoorH's "King Lear" is about
eighty years old in his head, and not
over thirty in his legs. The imperson-
alton reminds correspondent of what
Forrest once said to Nichols, who was
playing Lucullus y to the great TRACE
dams Damon "By Cd, sir I'd
like to know what you mean by twid-
ding one thumb at me in this sSimon-
says-wig- wag' fashions Is this your
conception of fear? Don't you play
!" Lucullus again till you have the
fever and ague P'
Ar a recent funeral of q Danbury
man, one of the neighbors, female Of
q very sympathetic ma ,ure, was so
deeply affected as to attract the atten-
ton of those present. The wife of the
deceased, q tall, raw-boned woman
noticing the attention raid to the neigh
Dor, kindly approached her, and in a
hoarse whisper, indicative Of the most
intense disgust, demanded, "Who is
this funeral? You or me?''
The sympathetic neighbor. dried her
NeaOs.
a A1AAAn N1Oy oo% 0u80A CssAA0 W b
family in Augusta last week, and
bright fve-year-old brother, who had
heretofore been the only child in that
was brought in to see the
newcomer. he greeted the little one
with apparent pleasure and delight, pat
ting it playfully under the chin and
smoothing down it's soft hair. Then all
at once came the inquiry, essay, how
was God when you left r
THERE was rector in England who,
after his establishment in q parish,
preached the sane sermon to his con-
gregation Sunday after Sunday very
good sermon, but always the same. At
last the farmers sent q deputation to re-
guest change. every well, said the
rector, "but now let one of you tell me
all about that Sermon" Not q person
could give an account. eThen," resum-
I'D the Clergyman, ..I'n continue to
preach it till I'm sure You all know
what it contains. !"
TIE Esquimaux have an ingenious
way of killing bears. They sharpen the
ends of piece of whalebone. foot or
more long, then bend it double, and
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