davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
Hunting for a Definition.
Kalamazoo Telegraph.

The literary fiend who spiked the
word dynamite" to newspaper ar.
ticle, and then with wicked smile
on his face sat down on a curbstone
to watch the result, has the satisfac
ton of knowing that he has not only
stirred the public mind clear to the
celIar-bottom, but has also cast a
shadow across many happy house
hold.
A peaceful family in this commun.
ity is among tn" victims.
The husband went home the othe,
evening and sat down to read to his
wife while she combed his hair and
rubbed choice solution of rain-wa.
ter, rock salt and vinegar bitters on
his head to remove the dandruf.
Presently he stubbed his toe againt
this terrible word, aud fell headlong
over whole column of "explosions,' >
-"suicides," etc, and finally brought
up against a cut Of a threshing ma
chine.
He gathered himself up, and tax.
ing a firm hold, spelled out the
word:
''D-y-na-m-l-te; wife, what does that
spell?"
But she wore false teeth, and was
not going to tackle no such animal
as that until it was tai ed down lit
tie. So she said she wasn't so very
certain how 1t was pronounced, but
''it meant something they used in
making Sealskins."
He said, "any fool knew better
than that, for it was kind of vege
table, and grew on bushes like Gu
cumbers."
She laughed little hollow laugh
and asked him if he ''wasn't wander
ing"
Then he kicked over the bottle OF
dandrutf medicine and made 4 break
for his horse-doctor book, and she
waltzed away for a fashion-book anG
another book with gold ear-laps.
She got her teeth limbered up :
little, and nibbled at pronunciation
"Dimonrite, dinnermeat, di-dc-du
mite, mite" she soliloquized, over he1
books.
"Dyinright. damnearrieht, con
found the blarsted thing" thus he
muttered over his doctor-book.
Suddenly an idea seemed to strike
her, and throwing her books at the
cat she burst out crying, and said
"there wasn't no such word, and he
was just trying to plague her, and he
he e-e wawawas a me-me-mean, ole
thi-thing, so therew
She wasn't mad, but felt grieved
and her heart bubbled over with
emotion.
He then quietly laid down hi
books and ASKED her if that wasn't ,
pretty way to talk, when he knew
more about big words and diction
aries and testical terms than she eve
thought of knowing, or her whole
famil Y ever dreamed of.
But he didn't seem to feel right
and went out to sit on the back stool
and mediate, while she wept hersel
to sleep wishing young earthquake
would rise up and pull his hair.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
An Anecdote OF Bret Harte.



Bret llarte was lecturlng IN Pen
sylvania short time ago. At one
of his appointments he felt very much
depressed. It's Il peculiarity of hum
oriStS, we are told, to be unaccounta-
bly, melancholy and gloomy at times.
llartc was in this mood now. One
of the committee went in back of the
scenes to see him, and the depressed
humorist welcomed him as 4 CLEAN
of unusual good sunshine. They
shook hands-IIartc earnestly, and
the committeeman dccorouSly.
"Mr Harte," he said gravcly,
"you will find this an unusually
healthy city"
"Ah!" said the pleased humorist.
eyes. The dcath-ratc is only one
a day"
At this juncturc Harte took the
commi -tecman by the arm and hurri-
edly asked.
as he dcad?"
Dead" calculated the committee
man. "Who dcad?"
"Why, the man for to-day" was
the grave reply.
The committeeman stared with all
his might into the immovable face of
the lecturer.
"Isn't there a clerk here, or regis
lister or coroner or something like
that, of whom you could find out
whether a man for this day has
died?"
"Why, yes, | suppose So" slowly
replied the committeeman.
"Would you be so good then as to
find out. and before | commence the
lecture if possible whether the man
is dead? IF he is dead, then l am
all right, for | am to leave the city
early tomorrow morning; but if he
isn't dead I cannot hel p but feel I'M
easy about myself, and am not well
to night"
The kind hearted committeeman
Immediately hurried away to get the
information.
When in his room at the hotel that
night u servant told him gentleman
wished him to step downstairs in the
hall as he wanted to see him. Mr..
lIarte went down, and there met the
committeeman.
81 am sorry, Mr.. IIartc, to disturb
you," he said; 'but | could not get
that information earlier. 1t is all
right. That death-rate | spoke of
acas merely the ncerage."
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
What He had to Say.
Datroit Free Press.


"Jonas IL. Sweetwater, you are
charged with lmbibing too much fire
W iter, and water You got to say about
it?" asked the Court
"Blamed sly" replied the prisoner,
in a hollow voice.
at may be Jonas, but don't couch
your belief in such language. We
will have the officer sworn"
81 want 4 lawyer" exclaimed the
prisoner.
"What for?"
"To knock the underpinning out
from under this hash house"
"Mr. Sweetwater, the English Ian
guage offers large variety of words
more suitable than those you are
using"
"Well, now, you let me out o here
or I'll make things buzz"
"What's that?"
"I'll make this old caravansary
red-hot!" said Jonas.
"Jonas IL. Whatsyourname, fine
you $50 or send you up for three
months, and if you have over two
words to say about it, I'll make it
half u year''
"You will?"
"You try it on"
They gazed at each other.
The boys rose up from behind the
stove.
Jonas Il. wanted to, but didn't. and
BUah led him away.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
A Darkey's Idea of True Religion .

Most of the negroes of Virginia
are very religious. Naturally their
religion is intensely emotional in its
estate, sombre, gloomy;
and, quite naturally, it is largely
colored with superstition. But relig-
ion of this kind has no charm for
Phil, who, as the reader may possibly
have guessed, prides himself upon be-
ing strictly logical in all his views
and actions.
'Bro' Ben,'' he said to one of his
fellows one day, "you's done getting
religion, | heah. Any way yer faces
twice as longs it ought to be. Has
you got religion for sure?"
"Now, Phil, I don't want none o
your wickedness. Bless de Lawd, l
is got religion"
"Oh! you is got it, is you? Now
lem me AK you a question or two.
you's got religion you say?"
eyes, rs got religion"
"Well, den, you're gwine to heaven
after 'while-when you dies?"
eyes, rs got de 'surance o dat,
Bro. Phil"
can you'd gone to he'll if you
hadn't got de 'surance, as you calls it,
wouldn't you?"
"If I'd died in my sins, course I'd
a gone to hell"
"Well," said Phil, "for nigga
what's jest made 'rangements to keep
out'n hell an get in heaven, you got
de mos uncountably long face l
eber did see!"
Wnen Ben had retired I remon-
strated with Phil.
"What do you tease Ben for Phil?"
| asked. "Ycu know better than to
make fun of religion"
"Course | do, massa, an dat's Jest
it. Ben amt got no religion. an l
knows it. He's jest putin on da'
solemncholy face to fool the Lawd
wild. Ben II steal, massa, whenever
he gets chance. He amt got no
mo- religion an hog. Sho. What
he knows bout religion, goin' down
mde de hill to pray, and all dat non
sens ? Couldn't get him to sing a
song, now, or whistle a tune OF no
count whatever, but he amt no bet
ter nigga for dat. He shouted very
loud las night, but dis mawnin' he
didn't half curry his mules; an relig-
ion what don't make a nigga take
car O. poor dumb creatures like
mules amt worth nothin' at all, no
way yon can fix it. When dey keeps
de row up jes' 4 little better, an don't
cover up no weeds dey ought to cut
down, an takes good car o mules,
and quit stealin', den | begins to
'pect 'em Of having real religion"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
Buy a Homo.

Every laborng poor man should
buy himself a town lot, get that paid
tor, and then work to make the nee
cssary improvements. A little here
and little there will in due time
produce you home of your own,
and place you out of the landlords
grasp; remember, that fifty dollars a
year saved in rent, will in a few years
pay tor your home, and the money it
costs you to shift about, without any
loss Of furniture and time, pay the in
terest on five hundred dollar iudg-
ment, until you can gradually reduce
it to nothing. You can all buy that
way-why do you not risk it? If
you fail you are not worse off-if you
succeed, as any careful man is sure
to do, you have made a home and es-
tablished basis equal to many an.
others, which will start you in busi-
ness.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
The Surprise Party at Po tiers.



Some of Mr. Potter's friends hap
pened to remember that last Wedses.
day was the tenth anniversary OF
their wedding, and they determined
to get up surprise party and call at
Potter's house. So everybody pur-
chased little present of some kind
to take along, and Mrs. Potter's aunt
got a beautiful Illuminated sign in.
closed in walnut frame and bearing
the inscription, "Heaven Bless Our
Happy Home" and Mrs. Potter's
uncle got another one with the legen'l
"True Love Never Dies" And when
the provisions were all ready the
party started for the house. They
wanted to surprise the happy couple
as much as possible, so they conc nd
ed not to ring the door-bell. Bu,
Mrs. Potter's aunt softly opened the
front door, and assembled the party
in the entry. Then at a given signal,
they opened the sitting room door,
and burst in with loud laugh.
The scene that met their eyes was
very interesting one. Mr.. Potter
was lying on the floor with his nose
bleeding, and Mrs. Potter was lean
ing over hlm with rolling-pin in
her hand, with which she had evi
IDENTIFY been hammering the husband
of her bosom. Both of them looked
hot and mad. When the company
came in Mrs. Potter hid the rolling
pin in the skirts of her dress, and
Potter picked himself up with sick
ly attempt at a smile lowering about
his face.
"Good joke wasn't it?" said Potter
with that smile growing sickliel
every minute eve were practicine
for tableaux."
mo we weren't either" snapped
Mrs. Potter.
"Why my love-" he replied, 'we
certainly were, you were impersona
ing Pocahontas saving the life of
Smith, and l was Smith. You know
that we are going to have tableuaA
this evening"
"No l don't know it either. We
amt going to have any such foolery
in this house."
"My darling, how changcable yoy
are! Now you must have them.
want the folks to see you as Pocahon
tas-now look at her"
"You know | banged you with thi,
rolllng-pin because YOU gave me i'm
pudencc. Now that's the whole
truth. And I'll do it AGAIN"
"No, you won t." said Potter.
eyes, I will"
"fd like to see you"
"You would, hey? You think !
daresn't because these people arc
sticking themselves in here where
they're not wanted. I'll show YOU"
Then Mrs, Potter upliited the wea
pom and made dash at him, where
upon Mr.. Potter walked as rapidly as
he could, consistently with dignity
out through the door into the yard.
lhen the company concluded 10 at
iourn. Mrs. Potter went into Jones
and stuck ''IIcaven Bless Our Happy
Homes" into the stove, and Mr.. Pot
ter's uncle split up "l'rue Love Never
Dies" with the AK, in disgust; and
Mr.. and Mrs Potter celebrated thei
anniversary i. their own way by
themselves. 1t will be very surpris
ing if any body ever undertakes tc
get up another surprise party i'll ou1
village.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

A young lady in Morristown, VT,
put small piece of wedding cake
under her pillow and went to bed in
the happy,belief that she would dream
of seeing her future husband. That
evening, however, she had eaten two
dishes of ice cream, about pint OF
Strawberries, several sweet cakes an !
two large pickles, and now she says
she would rather remain single all
her life than marry the man she saw
in her dreams.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

DO not visit the sick when you are
fatigued, or when i'll state of per,
spiration, or with the stomach empty,
for in such conditions you are liable
to take the infection. When the dis.
ease is very contagious, take the side
of the patient which is next the win
dow. When you come away, take
some food, change your clothing, and
expose it to the air.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

1t has been proposed to establish 4
pigeon post between Europe and the
United States, and an ocean homing
bird of great docility has been dis
covered in Iceland, which is said to
be admirably calculated for the pur-
pose, being able to fly at the marvel
lous rate of $50 miles per hour.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
THE BURIED HOURS.

Summer lies beneath the fields
Once teeming with blossoming flowers,
And under the days and weeks that are gone
Lie hidden the buried hours.
They once were aglow with words OF love,
Whose fragrance filled the air,
Like the dewy breath Of sweet, sweet morn,
Or tender vesper- prayer.
They once were alight with glances bright
or eyes now closed for aye,
To the tender gaze of friends who weep
For dear ones passed away.
They were thronging once with the busy feet
OF the loved who have gone to rest,
Their gentle, kindly. snowy hands
Crossed over the still, still breast.
They were joyous once with the shining lights
That have gone out one by one,
Till the shadows lengthen in loving homes
Where clouds obscure the sun.
They were rainbowed once with the gilded hope
OF youths aud madens fair,
Who have lived to prove their bright day dreams
Like sossamer floating in air.
SO. one by one, the hours glide down
Lies deep. unmeasnred sea.
And the waves close over and leave no trace
OF their vanished mystery.
They leave no trace that n curious world
Spies out as it hurries by:
But the wondrous power OF well spent hour
ABIDETH and cannot die.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

A political orator, speaking OF a
certain general whom he admired,
said he was always on the field of
battle where the bullets were the
thickest. "Where was that?" "In
the ammunition wagon"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

A professor of Cornell University
has made application for the body Of
the noted trotter, American Girl, in
order that the skeleton may be placed
in the museum of that institution,
and preserved as a specimen OF the
bony structure OLA typical American
trotting horse.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

When William Flemming, a Mon
roe (Conn.) Enoch Arden, after a
four years unexplained absence, in
stead of dissolving in tears, he swore
like a pirate because his wife had not
married again.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

4 TTOrNEYS AND COUNSELLORS AT LAW
n Special attention given to Collections. once
over Fisher Bros. Grocery Store. lows
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
?husi:iaMs.
p H WARREN,
Or. H II HUNT,

PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Off over Chica-
go Clothing House. Cor. Main and Chatham SITS
Independence, Iowa. IT'S
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

Everyone thinks their burden is the
heaviest.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
HouSE e. WILSON,

OFFICE and Residence corner Of Court an
Blank SITS, north of Catholic Church. Aft
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
Attnrneus.
oh. p. ROSZELL.
ID. ". BRUCKART.
". a, &J,B. DONNAN,

A TrORNEY AT LAW Independence, Iowa
~ Office over Morse & Barnett's Store. Con
sutations in English and German. 10y
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21

PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. independence.
Iowa Ofice in DR.. House residence. corner
Chatham and Mott SITS. Will attend to all calls in
,ity and country. Consultations in English and
,erman 46-tf.
q HOUSE s. G. WILSON.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
Rally e. JACKSON.

r AW CONVEYANCING. WAR CLAIM, AMI
IL Land Agency Office. Office in First Nationa
Rank building Independence. Iowa.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
Mrs, ,J.E.IOOMIS. Nj. n.

OFFICE on Main St, one door west OF Mcr
" chants Hotel in Morse's brick block lnde-
psndence. Iowa
ease of women and children.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-21
dentists.

MISS L. = n UAS,
y experienced nurse. will be fotId at the res
u idence OF Mrs. A. Myers.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-08-05
LIGHTNINGRODS

put up in any part Of the county. Having the
sole agency for the Munson Copper Lightning
Rod we guarantee satisfaction. The ceebra.
ted Chicago Porcelain Lined
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-08-05
GORDoN'S
Food for Horses and Cattle.
The Great Economical F5od for Stock.
Costs 2 cents for each Horse per Feed.

pEDUCES the quantity of grain reouire
Az both for Cattle and Horses one fourtb,
Being perfectly nutritious, health giving
preparation from the seeds of grasses and
herbs in combination with tonic and inyipor.
ating root banks, we claim il TO be the one
thing needful to make perfect feed. Horses
are improved in Flesh, Hindand Endurance
The principle Of the action of The Food. Is
that Perfect Digestion produces Pure Rood
and upon this depends health and often Lifs
ITSELF Cattle intended for the knife fatten
more rapidly and the flesh is more solid.
Goes increase their Niik yield, at lease one.
fourth, in both richness, and quality, the final
result being much more Butter. Send IN
GERALD GORDON 4 co. for descriptiye
pamphlet Of full particulars.
SALEsRooMs As W. Fayette Street.
oct I'll Baltimore, Md.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-08-05
PATENTS

in the United States, Canada
" and Europe terms as low as those of
any other reliable house. Correspondence
invited in the English and foreign languages
with Inventors, Attorneys at Law, and other
Solicitors, especially with those who have had
their cases rejected in the hands Of other at.
torneys. In rejected cases our fees are rea.
sonable, and no charge is made unless we are
successful.
INVENTORS, if you want Patent, send
us model or sketch, and full description
OF your invention. We will make an exami.
nation at the Patent Office, and il we think it
patentable, will send you papers and advice,
and prosecute your case. Our fee will be in
ordinary cases, S25.
ADVICE FREE. Oral or written, in all
matters relating to Patents, Patent Law and
Inventions.
References Hon. NJ. d. Leggett, Elk.
Commissioner of Patents, Cleveland, Ohio ;
y. II. Kelley, Esq, Sec'y National Grange,
Louisville, Ky, and the Ministers of Foreign
Legations at Washington, D. C.
eS- Send stamp for our "Guide for Oh.
tanning Patents, q book of so pages.
Address, LOUIS DAGGER < CO.,
Solicitors of Patelts, Washington, d. C.
feb IL
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-08-05
Brazilian immigration.

The Emperor of Brazil is said to have
improved his recent visit to the United
States by studying our emigration sources,
his desire being TO divert portion Of the
tide Of emigration to his own country.
Some time ago, It is said, he endeavored,
through agents sent to Hamburg and Bre-
men, though with poor success, to divert
some Of the German migration to Brazil.
His agents are now making similar en-
beavers with the Russian Mennonites, who
have come and are still coming to Ameri.
ca in considerable numbers. This thrifty
class, owing to difficulties at home, are
anxious to leave their own country, and
they have generally selected the United
States as their future dwelling place. The
Emperor's agents, who have recently ap-
peared in Russia, are making, in his be-
half, very liberal offers to them to go to
Brazil. He proposes to give to every
family one hundred and sixty acres of
land, supply for one year Of all the me-
cessaries Of life, and free transportation to
the property they are to occupy. His
agents have invited them to send depu-
tation to Brazil to examine the country.
and in accordance with this we are told
that forty colonies Of Mennonites, who
fully intended to come to the United
States, have postponed temporarily their
emigration, n order to await the report
Of q deputation they have sent to Brazil
to examine the country and the Emperor's
proposals. The people Of the United
States, whilst not fearing the competition
Of Brazil 10 this instance, for the desira-
bility Of . home here Is far greater than
in the South American Empire, viii new !
ertheless feel now admiration for the EN-
peror at thus endeavoring to American
ize' the methods Of populating his coun-
". He sees the advantage we have had
from the immigration Of thrifty people
l<on abroad, and naturally desires to at
sze1 y 70 his own country.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-08-05
CHRISTOPHER's
Alta Safety Oil.
WARRANTED 1867 FIRE TEST,
PROM THE OIL INSPECTOR OF BALTIMORE.
Office Of J. ADDISON Smith, |
81 s. Gay ST., Bait, July II, 1875. !

VI o. uay St'i DAT, July II, 1910.
Aessrs. Christopher & Co Gentlemen {:
With much pleasure take this opportunity
of stating that in long experience in the
inspection Of Illuminating Oils, in my official
capacity as Inspector, am enabled to pro.
nounce your "Alta Safety" brand of Oil, the
very best have ever tested or used. In nu.
merous inspections made for myself and
friends ! have invariably found the "Alta
Safety to stand a higher Fire test than that
you claimed for it namely 1902 and have
also found it in uniform purity and general
good qualities, superior to any other oil have
seen, and as such, recommended it to my
friends and the public generally, as the most
reliable oil for family use now in the market
AS Refners, ! congratulate you upon your
signal success in manufacturing an oil posses.
sing the very best qualities, Safety Purity,
and the production Of most brilliant light.
In using the"Alta Safety" Oil in my household
have found it to give light for reading or
writing superior to gas and believe with ordi.
nary care, that an accident with this oil is
impossible. Wishing you continued success
with the Alta Safety, which you so justly
merit, am
Very respectfully,
]. ADDISON SMITH,
Inspector Crude and Refined Petroleum,
81 South Gay St., Baltimore.
FOR SALE by
E. Z. GERNAND,
sept. lilly WESTMINSTER, MD.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-08-05

WEST VIneISIA WHEAT TRIUapHAsr.
The centennial committee from Berke,
icy county hasereceiyed information from,
she State commissioners that the samples
q ErHiu sent produced 10 this county have
@ken he premium for their superior
qua'l15 ao' only ia the State Of West
1s'a's aua the United States, but Of
the word y 1ow exhibited at the eensen-
NAL q Aaftia,lnrg, W. Va. Statesman.