Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-02-03
Adventures of BashfuI Man.

I AM very bashful man. | have pc
culiar habit of blushing whenever spoken
to by lady always try to avoid their
company as much as possible. | have
tried many ways to cure myself of this
weakness, but in every way have failed.
l am very jolly when in company Of gen.
tlemen, but when see a lady twenty rods
off [ feel cold all over. love them dearly
(bIess their hearts,, but | would rather
face band Of Texas raiders or pound Of
Llmburger cheese than would female.
l am not an old bachelor yet, but | aoiU be
if don't cure myself. About week ago
a friend invited me to make a call on some
young ladies with him. T refused at first,
but with much persuasion, and telling me
that | would get over my weakness by as
sociating with the opposite sex more, at
last consented to accompany him. Ifussed
around for about an hour, putting a pint of
hair-oil on my head, four coats of black
ing on my boots, etc, then we started.
When we arrived at the house my first ac-
cident was tostep on'a little Iap-dog which
ran out to the door. We were ushered
into the room, where sat two of the most
charming girls that man ever beheld We
went through the introduction ceremony
all right. Being requested to take a
chair" | walked awkwardly across the
room, and sat down in an easy-chair'
1t was lower than [ was accustomed to,
and down [ came with my whole weight
made faint attempt to smile. I dared
not look up, but | heard g giggling''
which sounded to me worse than hand
organ. All went or smoothly till about
nine o'clock when one of the girls re-
quested my autograph. She produced
pen, ink and her album. I took up the
pen with a trembling hand, reached across
the table to dip the pen in the ink.
| reached too far, and consequent
ly my sleeve caught on the top
of the bottle, and the contents rushed
forth and spread itself over the table.
Acting under a sudden impulse took out
my handkerchief and commenced "s0p-
ping up the ink. / stammered out an
apology the best I could, all the while
being informed that it was only trife.
Oh! how / did long for home. | never
knew the value of home till then. The
cold sweat stood on my forehead, the
lower part of my face burned, my legs
trembled, and-I sunk in a chair.
sat there like statue for half an hour:
all efforts to draw me into conversation
proved useless. Presently some refresh
ments were introduced. One OF the ladies
poured me out glass of wine With
qu.vering hand I raised the glass to nv
mouth, and being confused, or the g wine"
stronger than usual (being Holland Gin,
| coughed, choked, and not thinking of
the condition of my handkerchief l drew
it forth and wiped my face with it.
! took in the situation; but It was too
much for me. ran from the room,
stopped at tie hat stand, grasped what I
thought was my overcoat and hat but
which turned out to be waterproof cloak
and a muf-and struck straight line for
home. | sat in my room with a dOwncast
COuntenanCe till was aroused by knock
at the door. | turned and beheId my
friend with my hat and coat. He departed
to return the cloak and muff and [ locked
the door, got out paper of arsenic, and a
revolver, tied a rope over the door with a
moose at the end, and-went to bed.-N.
7. Weekly.