Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-14
WHOLE NO. 545.
G1eanings.

lands.
The ties that connect business men with
the public-Adcer-tize
When man snores in his sleep, is the
sound vocal or instrumental?
A good suggestion is like crying baby
al a concert, it ought to be carried out
''She Stoops to Conquer" was written
before the days of pin-back skirts.
Not big words, but big ideas, mark the
speech of great men.
Now they've got the Astor estate fig
ured down to 81, 100000 Poor man!
A good wife is good thing, but bad
husband beats her.
A considerate proceeding a
standing army TO the seat of war.
"The best and oldest advertising medl-
um"-An old maids sewing circle.
If YOU have favor to ask of man,
now be sure and shut the door after you,
when you so into his office.
But few men can handle hot lamp
chimney and say there is no place like
home, at the same time.
If all men were as good as they repre-
sent themselves to he the world would be
much better off.
The latest from the Keely motor is TO
the effect that it will be ready for dem
onstration by spring.
If you want to get rid of your money
put it in a'lottery or burn it up. Eithar
will clean you out
Splendid wild turkeys are selling for
fifty cents apiece in the old grasshopper
region of Kansas and Nebraska.
Harry Meigos, the California and South
America railroad king, is dying of soften
ing of the brain
The Pennsylvania girl who coughed up
shawl-pin the other day is now trying
to raise camel's hair shawl.
The Rochester Chronic's is trying to
get life insurance agents TO shoot each
other This may be right it may be.
A dandy inquired at frultstall:-
Are these apples fit for hog to eat:'
Try one and see" said the woman.
The Fagot Dramatic Club would be
good name for collection of sticks to act
under.
President-of-t -the-Senatc Ferry used to
make shingles. Earlier in life shingles
were perhaps used to make him behave.
The aerouaut Wise, expresses his ooin-
ion that all efforts to render a balloon nav
igable must fail; that it must remain
mere drifting machine.
The Brooklyn irg,s says that the man
who wants to escape from Brooklyn Jail
and doesen't do it is either fool or too
fat to walk through the door
1t Las been discovered that buckwheat
cakes blunt sensitive natures and degrade
poetic minds. They also produce an
eruption; but they are good,
Il am going to the postoffice, Bob:
shall inquire for you?" We'll. yes, if
you have a mind to, but don't think you
will find me there
Il take my tex dis morning." said a col
ored preacher, from dat portion oh dc
Scripters where de Postal Paul pints his
pistol to de Fesions.'
Labor is the duty man owes to society;
rest is the duty he owes to his person;
recreation is the duty he owes to his
mind.
Joaquin Miller claims that he named
the Territory of Idaho. 1t is an Indian
word-from the language of the North
Shoshoncs-an it means the Gem of the
Mountains
\ German chemist has now discovered
n way to make artificial grindstones, and
as soon as he can invent boy who'd
rather turn grindstone than to fish, the
, world will be well fixed.
If some of the cows around the country
only knew how their owners were lying
about the quantity of milk they give the
said cows would put hind foot through
new milk pail.
The symptoms of first love are too di-
verse and innumerable to mention. Per-
hapS the leading traits are dissatisfac-
ton with your salary, and u contempt for
the way your mother irons Your shirts.
| When Michigan father pounds on the
stair door and informs Sarah that it is
! time to go to bed he means business. The
next time he gets up wild-eyed lover
goes for the gate on = gallop.
The word e-b is composed of the in
! itials of dun everybody twice The
I word credit is formed of the initial let
tiers of call regularly every day-lll
/ trust"
Il always sing TO please myself" said u
gentleman who was humming tune in
company. Then you are not at all diff
cult to please" said 4 lady who sat next
! 10 him.
/ A lazy fellow once declared in public
company that he could not find bread for
/ his family Nor !" replied an industri
ous mechanic; II am obliged to work for
| it"
Josh Billings says: When a Young man
amt good for anything else, | like to see
him carry gol.-hcaded cane. If he
can't buy y cane, let him part his hair in
the middle.
"Ah. Jenny" said a sympathiziug
/ lIltuu W u lldl W no WIS Just 100 ldte lOr
the train you did not run fast enough" "
Yes l did, said Jenny, but l didn't t
start soon enough
Paddy cornered the pig in his best par
lot and the pig jumped through seven
hy-ninc window. "Well.' said Paddy,
philosophlcally, watching the fastreceding
form of the diminutive Tweed, I've got
yer dimensions anyhow
The experiments made with naphtha as
fuel for steamengines in the south of Rus
sia have yielded such satisfactory results
as to induce the Imperial Government to
order its REGULAR use hcnceforth in all vcs-
sells stationed on the Caspian.
Get out of my way-what are you
good for?" said across old man to little
bright-eyed urchin, who happened to stand
in the way. The little fellow, as he step
ped on one side, replied, very gently
They make men out of such things as
We are"
''Hailstones the size of oranges recently
fell in chihuahua, Mexico" This item
shows how production, as Buckle might
have said, has an effect upon languages
If the hailstoncs had fallen in Union
square, the item would have been, Hail
/ stones the Si7p of billiard halls ~ in Roetnn