Litchfield enquirer., 1876-11-16
CLIPP PINGS

CLIPPINGS
 Man does not want to be an angel until he has failed at everything else.
 There are only three polls that can't be stuffed. The North and South poles, and the bald poll.
 The innocent blush more frequently than the guilty: the face of the latter is not SO easily red. 4
 A popular actress who died recently left an unprotected husband without any visi- ble means of support.
 Why does your friend tell you 'any toggery will do," when he means himself to sport 8 dress suit and white choker?
 That was wise idea of the genteel lady who alluded to her first female ancestor as Lady Eve nee Rib.
 Nothing in the world will more quickly inspire boy with desire for Bible teach ings than the approach of the Christmas troo seasor.
 There is a growing conviction that two lady's album mean something more than 1IACAuou1P AOA OuC OAA LA0us
 A western paper says that "true music is something that stays with you nights" This would seem to put the nightmare in the front rank of American composers.
 The patentees may blow as much as they please about the advantages and comfort of their paper blankets; but as for us give us matrimony or give us some more hot bricks.
 A witty Frenchman writes in a Paris paper that "a French major is man wbo has three decorations. The third was given him because he had two, the second because he had one, and the first because he had none.
 Persons who have never tried it don't know how refreshing and invigorating 1t is to lie abed these cool, bracing mornings and let their wlves go down and build the fire.
 Bruce had recou' SC to the sword, Tell to bow and arrow, and Washington ap- pealed to the God of battles, but when a woman strikes for liberty, she uses any, thing she can lay her hands on.
 The Corliss engine, at the Centennial, beats France and Spaln. with the South American States thrown in. It has regis tered over 2,O00,000 revolutions since 1t started. .--..-...... The Czar of Russia makes nearly $55, ,O00 a day out of his position. And when he knocks off in the middle of the day to go out aud play base ball or see a horse race, he isn't docked 8 cent.
 There was at first some doubt whether | Commodore Vanderbilt was possessed of the facts when he telegraphed the coun- try that he was not dead; but later iufor- nation sustains his judgment.
 She-"Now, Charles, dear, do be sim cere and tell the truth for once in your life; don't you love baby just little bit?' He-"Well, Mary, I can't say exactly that love the little beggar, but I've a sort of sneaking respect for him for his fathers sake."
 Bayard Taylor says that newspaper par agraphists are "human hyenas." His poetic soul doesn't swell ont towards hu- manity so grandly, since the publicity given to the failure of his repeaie ed efforts to part his hair behind. -Brooklyn Ar- gus.
 A correspondent sends the following. | we Cdu Uuly uOpe buaG QOrTlDl0 Q0at0 does not await him: "Why is a body of | quakers supposed to be learned one? Because every member is a solemn un. |" -ROcktand Courier.
 An Irishman being little fuddled, was asked what was his religious belief. Is it me belafe ye'd be asking about?' said he ''Its the same as the widdy Brady. owe her twelve shillings for whisky, and she belaves I'll nivir pay her; and faith, that's my belafe too. A Fulton woman, while cleaning house, fell from ladder and broke her arm. Her husband returned home three days earlier than he had intended, cheerfully paid the doctors bill, and could ascend a pair oi stairs without treadiHg upon a piece of soap and landing Tn 8 elop bucket at the bottom of the steps. And the house look. ed just as clean as if she had been at it a whole week instead of only one day.
 "Considering that the mosquitoes are making their fall raids and are particular ly lively just now, my dear" said Jones to his wife, ''don't you think it would be a good idea to bring the baby's crib into our room? We might divert the attention of the voracious insects little from our. selves. hate to be deprived oi my rest, and baby can sleeb all day, yon know ' Mrs Jones went in search of the fire tongs at once.
 A French journal of science says that the inhabitants of the Azore Islands could smell the burning of the great Chi. cago fire. This is wonderful (adds the Cincinnati Times), but John Henry says that when his wife was in New York, last winter, he received a telegram from her, reading: "You have been drinking; can smell your breath"