The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1876-12-01
NO. 3 1
MIsCELIsANEOUs.

thinks he is too young to be bald yet.
The enyious Louisville Courier Joaapa
says: Boston has a brains club, made
up exclusively of women. Such is the as
tonis7ling amount Of intelligence and eul
turo in that city that there even the vo
men have brains"
An old crow sat npon a hickory limb,
None knew him but to praise;
Let me Mss him for his mother,
For he smells of Sehweitzer kase.
A New York paper tells US that a favor
ite hotel is to be kept this season at one Of
the watering places, 1by the widow Of
Nr., who died last summer. on a new
and improved plan.'
4 Rock County, Ill.,, farmer recklessly
publishes the following challenge: II
will bet I1.25 that my hired man can take
longer to go to the harvest field, get back
to dinuer quicker, eat more, do less, and
bear down harder on the pannelofa fence
than any other hired man within fifteen
miles Of flagstaff in Janesyillen
Next year the Hartford female Seminary
is going yet further in the new departure,
and IN addition to the prizes which Wiifbe
offered for the best bread made by the
pupils, prize will be given to the young
woman who can cut, make, and do up a
gentleman's shirt in the most approved
manner.
A scbooEboy being asked to define the
word admission, said it meant twenty-five
cents. Q twenty-five cents |" echoed the
teacher. !" What kind Of definition do
you call that ?" !" I don't know, su1kily
replied the boy, abut Tn sure it says 50
on the circus bill down there. " Yes, said
another boy, and children half price,
A church mem er once said to minis
ter who wanted little. more SALARY as his
family increased, II did notknow that you
money" NO, don't, said
the minister. II thought you preached for
souls" so I do; but could not live on
souls, and if could it would take a good
many tie size Of yours 70 make . meal.
Colonel Haskell, Of the Boston Trans
.1.ipt, q man Of general experience and
act, says that the form ofa tender confes-
ion in Boston is something like this
Dearest, believe me, | do love you with
ny whole nervous organism. You share
With no other being the emotions which
.erFade my undivided gray matter, and If
were conscious Of q ganglion that throb-
,ed but for thee, be sure would not sleep
i'll | had procured its neurotomy," It is
II owing to medical lecture recently de
ivered BY Dr.. Holmes.
A married man left home the other day
tating that he would be gone all night.
lis wife dispatched messenger 10 a gen
leman friend, who came to pass the even
ng, and late at night they drove ont to
Listant hotel, returning early IN the morn
ng. About halfway home the team they
we're driving colIided with another, and
Fhen the occupants Of both got out to dis
the horses, the occupants of the
ther carriage were found to be the hus-
oand who had gone to Salem on business
accompanied by o woman. Little was said
"a either side.
There was deal ofpith and point in the
Of the African preacher on the
ext, s'it is more blessed to give than to re-
.eiye." Said he, "I've known many a
.hurch to die cause it didn't give enough;
1atI never knoWd a church to die cause
gave foo much. Dey don't die dat way.
3rederen, has any one Of yoa knowed a |
.hareh 70 die cause it gaze too much !? i'll
-oQ hab, just let ne know, and III make |
to that church, and I'll climb
y de soft light Of de moon, to its moss
:oyered roof, and I'll stand dar, and lift
ny hands to heaven and say, Blessed am
Ie dead dat die in de Lord =
Fishing is not always q remanerative /
business, neither does it always pay IS a
eereative sport. A man went out for
lays fishing last week, and when lie re-
arned he had walked fifteen miles, lost a I
.old watch, sprained his thumb, spoiled a
'lo pair Of pants BY sitting down on his
aud caught bad cold and two
oad-fsh. On his arrival his faYorite eat
attempted to get away with piece ofelam
hat he had left On his hook, whereat said
eat caught the hook ii her throat and
oaldn't cough It up; and his son, in try
ng to assist her, got another hook into his
oe, and the doctor had to cut it out and |
Q top all, his wife was dissasted and
nappy. He says fishing may DO all very
veil for man vho was born lucky, but
10 more for him.
Old Col one Of the State sena-
ors Of Minnesota, tells this Of himself:
He was going down to St. Paul to join
lie session, when . train-boy passed
through the car, and approaching the old