The Ottawa free trader., 1876-02-12

|
the following verses, and see il he can dis.
cover anything harmful IN them
conductor, when you receive fare,
Pinch in the presence OF pas senjarc!
4 blue trip slip for an cightcent fare
! \ buff trip slip for siN.ccnt fare,
: pink trip Slip for n threeccnt fare
Pinch in the presence OF q passcnjarc
CHORUS
Puuch. brothers, punch with care.
! Punch in the presence OF passenjare'
came across these jlngling rhymes in a
newspaper little while ago, and read them q
couple OF times. They took instant and en-
tire possession of me. All through breakfast
I they went waltzing through my brain; and
when, at last, rolled up my napkin | could
not tell whether had eaten anything or not
had carefully laid out my days work the
day before a thrilling tragedy in the novel
which am writing. | went to my den TO be-
gin my decd of blood. l took up my pen, but
all could get it to say vas Punch in the
presence of o passenjare." | fought hard for
an hour, but it was useless. My head kept
|humming, "a blue trip slip for an eight.cent
fare; buff trip slip for six.cen. fare" and
so on and 50 on, without peace or respite.
) The days work was runed-I could see that
!, plainly enough. | gave up and drifted down
town, and presently discovered that my feet
were keeping time to that relentless jingle
When could stand it no longer j altered my
step. But it did no good; those rhymes &C.
commodated themselves to the new step and
, went on harrassing me just as before. | re.
turned home, and suffered all the afternoon
! suffered through an unconscious and unrc'
freshing dinner; suffered, and cried, and jim
gled eli through the evening; went to bed and
: rolled, tossed, and jingled righ, along the
same as ever got up at midnight frantic, and
tried to read but there was nothing visible
J upon the whirliRg page except punch
J punch IN the presence of the passenj are" By
, sunrise was out of my mind, and everybody
marvelled and was distressed at the idiotic
burden of my ravings-"Punchl oh, punch
punch in the presence of the paseDjare"
Two days later, on Saturday morning, |
arose, totterng wreck, and went forth to full
fill an engagement with valued friend, the
Rev. Mr. =, to walk to the Talcott Tower
ten miles distant We started. Mr.. talk
!. ed, talked-as il his wont. | said nothing
| heard nothing At the end Of mile, Mr.
---- sad:
Mar. YOU are sick? never saw man
look so hacgard and worn and GDscntmind
, ed. Say something; do"
:, Drearily, without enthusiasm, sad
"Punch, brothers, punch with care. Punch
I
f My friend eyed me blankly, looked per
9 picked, then said
II do not think / get your drift, Mark
There does not seem to be any relevancy II
l what you have SAID, certainly nothing sad
c and yet-maybe it was the way you said the
S words--I never heard anything that sounded
) so pathetic. What is"-
I But heard no more. / was already IA
4 away with my pitiless, heart tbnaking blue
$ trlp-slp tor an cight-cent fare, buff trip slil
# for six.cent fare, pink trip slip for three
0 cent fare; punch in the presence OF the pas
C seujare" / do not know what occurred dur
: ing the other nine miles. However, all of
0 sudden Mr.. - laid his hand on my shouldc
= and shouted
a "Oh, wake up, wake up! wake up! Don
sleep all day. Here we are at the Tower, man
/ have talked myself deaf and dumb AM
)f blind, and never got response. just look d
l. this magnificent autumn landscape! LOOK
10 1t! look AT II! reast your eyes on i. loi
- have travelled; you have seen boasted land
&c scapes elsewhere. Come, now, deliver a
honest opinion. What do you say &c this
u I sighed YEARLY, and murmund-
IN "a buff trip slip for six cent fare, pin
o. trip slip for a three. cent fare, punch IN til
Ii. presence of the passcnjarc."
re Rev. Mr.. - stood there, very grave, iull {
&c concern, dppuichuy, al" '''n1 ''i0 ~ '''N
at then he SAID:
IN "NIark, there is something about this that
DO cannot understand. Those arc about III
il same words you said before; there does N
ID seem to be anything in them and yet the
n. nearly break my heart when you say then
er Punch in the-how is it theygo
Id began at the beginning and repeated a
". the lines. My friends face lighted with il
OF terest. lie said:
as "Why, what a captivating Jingle II is!
III is almost music. 1t flows along SO nicely.
". have nearly caught the rhymes myself. S0
is them over just once more, and hen l wi
w. have them sure
he I said them over. Then Mr. - said then
He made one little mistake, which | corre
ted The next time and the next he got thel
right. Now great burden seemed 10 tan
bic from my shoulders. That torturlnS jil
w gle departed out of my brain, aid a greatil
~ sense of rest and peace descended upon m
VI I was ligh,hearted enough 10 sing and di
a sing for half an hour straight along as we wei
10 logging homeward. Then my freed tongu
10 found blessed speech again, and tie pent tai
W. of many weary hour began 10 gwh and foV
~ II flowed on and on, joyousy, juOllantly, III
y ill the fountain was empty and dry. AS
~ wrung my friends hand at tpartig, said:
~ Haven tive had a royal good time? Br
~ now ! remember, you maven san Wcru l'
,'c ,u two hours. Come, come, out with som
If, thingm
,i' The Rev. Mr.. - turned q laklustre ey
nc nc upon me, drew deep sigh, and aid, withol
~ ~ apparent consciousness:
Az io "Punch brothers, punch with are! Pune
~ y. IN the presence of the passenjare!
d. A pang shot through me as aid to m,
,M y. self, Poor fellow, poor fellow IL has got
az now
~ How did | finally save HIM Inn the as.
,,'e,' Ilum." took him to neighboing unive
"a, slty and made him discharge tn bu rden I
od oJ his prosecuting rhymes into the ager ears
Gu the poor, unthinking students. How IS
ss with them now? The result is 10 sad TO tel
10, 10. WHY did write this aricle' I was for
''' worthy, even noble, purpose, |, was
"a warn you, reader, you should ONE aero
uuu u these mcrci!ess rhymes, 10 avoid icm-avoi
5. 49,, a, vpu Nrnull a ppSiilence'