The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-10-27
THE PATENT STEP P-LADDER.

THE PATENT STEP LADDER.
"rom, dear, the Nails loose that holds
that picture over the parlor mantel-
piece, and it will fall down ii you don't
| ix it,v screamed pretty little Mrs. Pee
wit, as he was leaving the breakfast
table fer a cigar and glance at the
morning paper before starting for busl-
ness.
aHang the pfcturesl / never saw such
a house!n he exclaimed, irritably,
throwing down his lighted match and
unread paper.
"'Han0 the pictures.' That's it ex-
actly, uear," said his wife, wittlly,
looking at some mosquito bites on her
round, fair arm.
| Peewit forced mechanical smile and
started off in search OF the family ham,
mer and something to stand on, and for
the next ten minutes could be heard all
over the house, throwing things around
and grumbling.
.sWhats the matter now, Tomf" called
lup his wife, from the front OF the stairs.
| "Nlatter enough. Where's the step
ladder keptW yelled Peewit, who WINS
standing on his Jip-toes on a chair, try
ing TO reach about five yards over his
head.
ssCan't say, Pm sure, as we never have
had any," said Mrs. p, coming up stairs
and looking in at the door.
ssphen PA buy one this very day OF our
Lord; but it seems to me we ought to
lhave dozen of them laying around the
Iheuse," he argued jumping down from
the chair.
"And amt you going to fix it after
aH?" inquired his wife, as she saw him
moving away.
"FiX nothing! Do you expect Pm go
ling to fly up there to do il?' he asked,
facetiously, going out, putting ON his
Iovereoat, ana starting off tor business.
| On his way down Fulton street, he
stopped in a large house-furnishing
store, and inqulrng for trst-class step
ladder, the salesman produced for
his inspection patent spring, self
extending and doubling ladder, called
"Our Belle"
"There, sir, is one OF the greatest in
yentions of the nineteenth century.
Took the first prize at the Queens
County Fair, and won the silver medal
at the Beanyille exhibition over all
competitors. Here you have a light,
tasty, and elegant article, possessing at
> the same time the durability, strength
and usefulness of a heavy, awkward,
clumsy one. When you desire to open
it from its present case form, you simply
pull this handle, and it undoubles Itself
into u firm step-ladder; mounting it,
should you find it too short, press this
knob and it extends itself to twice the
length without your dismOunting," ex-
planned the salesman, talking at the
rate of two hundred and fifty words a
, minute, and touching, as he spoke, the
handle. The case opened, unOlded it.
self, and stood up full-ledged STEP
ladder; then, pressing knob, 1t gave
, IA whirr and extended itself nearly
double. "Here are the directions Tor
using, printed in full on the side"
.sBy George, that beats all oreationp'
1 exclaimed Peewit, looking on admira-
; bly,. ,,... .-- -. :,
said the salesman, mentally adding ten
ner cent. TO the figure he had intended
3 to charge, and few minutes later Pee
wit was the possessor of "0ur Belie,''
and having given directions ior having
it sent home, went on his way rejoicing
4 The ladder duly arrived at the house,
Land Mrs. p. inspected, read the direc
, ltions. ana Immediately thought OF some
hanging baskets OF flowers in the eXten
D sion which must be changed; SO, carry
s ling the ladder into the room, she pulled
:, the handle, there was a,rumbiDg sound
and the next moment the case mad un
a Ilolded, and a ladder stood before her.
u ttM hat q IuunI CoutilfduCG1 Sue muf
q INJURED. watching it admiringly.
;, Mounting the steps with flower POI
in her hand, she could not reach tht
}. hook, and remembering the directions
q She stopped and pressed the knob, ant
Sour BelIe'' suddenly extending hersel
L with a rush, pretty Mrs. Peewit few III
like sky-rocket, and came down heat
first. creating terrible havoc among thu
liower pots, leaving a very prettily
,Ishaped pair of blue and white striped
O stockings sticking out among the ros
q bushes.
NASTY, good.for-nothing, jim-cracl
= thingI lbs the LORDS blessing | aim
:, Killed" she said, when she had extri
. lcated herself and got her lower limb
!; covered up, and with milk-curdiin
= frown at the patent ladder, she hurfiei
q up to her room, TWO stairs at time, il
q search of arnica TO bathe her bruises.
: Ten minutes later her mother, on he
!. way to the garden, passed through tn
o room, and the ladder Immediately too
lr her eye.
"There's Just what i want to pic
v some grapes with. 4 suppose Tom,
. been fooling his money away again buy
% ing such fancy thing" she exclaimed
"a lifting it out into the yard, placing
= Into position, and mounting 1t step b.
. step, slowly and carefully, she wa
!. within a step or two OF the Top, an
n holding on with one hand. While sh
= reached for purple bunch, accidentali
q pnlled the little lettIng-doWn and fold
\. ling knob, and the ladder, with q pre-
e1 .parat0ry Whirr, descended to halt it
t lhight again with a velocity that sent tn
=. lol1 lady down as If she mad been droppe
+, from the clouds, striking, the back OF he,
I. 1head hard enough on every step t
i i knock her false teeth out, lear of he
{ lwig, loosen her scalp and scrape tn
4 4 skin the entire length Of her backbone
nj When she come to her senses she neVe
r waited to examine into the scientific o
/ mechanical causes of the accident, blu
!. / snatching up her teeth and wig Iimpe.
e 4 into the house, another candidate fol
j. arnica and consolation. '.'.
i .'fhomas, Augustus, Peewit, I won
d der IL you're in your right senses 10 SEM
i. | home such a thing as that. it nearl]
: killed ma and me, }" said his wife, coming
II TO meet him Win q patch OF sticking
q | plaster on her nose. ...l..
e '"That just shows exactly what yol
d | women know about such things; VIII.
3 that's one OF the greatest patents eve
| >. ~ A. ~, l., ~ hnr