The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1876-07-27
our. DESSERT.

Nutshell. OF course it is edited by
Kernel"
Hes q polished gentleman" said
she, gazing fondly ut the bald head
which showeth her handiwork.
The individual who said tight boots
were comfortable defended his position
by saying they made q man forget oil
his other miseries.
"Did any of You ever see al ele-
plants skin?" inquired a teacher of au
infant class. Eyes, sir" .'Where?'
Son an elephant"
A New York mau has christened his
daughter Glycerine. He says it will
be easy to prefix Nitro, if her temper
resembles her mothers.
Boarder-"Has the red-haired girl
gone away?" Landlady-'Yes, sir"
Boarder-''I thought so. I found a
black hair in the butter to-day"
There is something wonderfully
grand and impressive about the roar OF
thunder, until you discover it has sour
ed the last half-pint of milk in the
house.
A Camden man lugged a butcher
knife around for two hours, Offering to
kill any one who said he wasn't Moses,
of Biblical fame. Every one said he
looked inst like Moses.
A sensible writer advises those who
would enjoy good eating to keep good
natrred, for, SAYS he, San angry man
cannos tell whether he is eating boiled
cabbage or stewed umbrellas.
An editor, quoting DR.. Halls advice
to ''eat regularly, not over three times
a day, and nothing between meals"
adds: ''Tramps will do well to cut this
out aud put it in their bank books.
A blighted being, whose nose should
serve as n beacon of warning to the
youth of our land, says the ladies
dresses this yesr are laboring under a
violent attack of delirium trimmings.
Allowing British wife's postscript to
A letter addressed to her husband in
New York: Dear William, L have pe-
rused the police reports and morgue re-
turns every day, hoping to see your
name"
1t was a printer who perpetrated this
double barrelled, breach-loadlng, pun
conundrum: Why is an old mans farm
in Texas like the focus of a suL-glass?
Because it is the place where the sons
raise meat.
A young lady viewing Dom Pedro IN
St. Louis remarked, as she fixed her
eyes on the carriage, 'It isn't exactly
Immortality to see an emperor, OF
course, but it's a glimpse, at least. OF
King Dom come.
During the recent tornado a couple OF
PENNSYLVANIA boys were up IN a cherry
tree stealing cherries. The tornado
carried off the cherry tree, and neither
the bows nor the tree have been seen
since, Moral: Never tell q lie.
Rural hospitality in Spain is highly
snoken of, A stranger can't take lodg-
ings at any country inn, they say,
without a certainty of being lmmedl.
utely waited upon by any number OF
big bugs.
A citizen of Dakota took q Turkish
bath in Oman q few weeks ago, and
died within an hour. The verdict of
the iury was: "He hadn't ought to
have got 80 much of the mud of OF hlm
at one time.
The Hessian fly is doing much dam
age in Iowa, and q Keokuk paper IN
oniriugly asks whence this new pest or
iginated? Why, everybody ought to
know that it was Washington who
made the Hessian fly.
The intelligent druggist in Cohoes,
n. Y, having given a woman hellebore
instead of rhubarb, from which she
nearly died, she is now giving him the
first syllable OF the name of the poison
IN a suit for damages.
"You must cultivate decision of char
acter, and learn to say No, SAID q
father to his son.. Soon afterward, when
the father told the son to chop WOOD,
the boy said "No" with an emphasis
that showed q remembrance OF the les
son.
They we're talking about death, when
one man asked: What were his last
words?" "He didn't say anything,
was the reply. That's just like him."
said the first man, with an approving
nod. There was no gas about him.
He was all business"
'sWhaur's yer awksent, mun?" bawl>
ed a brawny Scot to a Cockney who was
numbering the Scotch dialect in som
public readings. The readers wit was
better than his elocution. for he lmme-
diately rejoined. "Why, you've got it,
and the audience roared.
The phrenoiogist lifted his hand
from the boys head and said: Your
son has extraordinary Developments,
sir; he will be a great man" The ia
Their dropped his chin upon his breast
and mournfully added, Then he can
never be President"
White duck pants look well and are
fashionable, but the trouble is o man
must always be looking around after a
napkin if he wears them. You cant
wipe the least bit Of dirt off your fingers
on the Lex of white duck breeches but
some one will notice it.
"Can you change this William for
me?" said a young man who presented
a $50 bill at the counter OF the Glou>
cester National Bank, recently, "Ies,"
said the Cashier, "but why d. you call
it William?" ''Oh, I'm not familiar
enough with that kind of thing to call
il Bill" was the quick reply.
4 Printers Dream.
A printer sat in his Office chair, his
boots were patched aud his coat thread
bare. aud his face looked weary and