Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1876-06-10
STEETCu, THE CANDIDATE.
isow he was Induced to Run
for Si.icc. al:! What HcfciI
Iiiui liz s.Ic Venture.

Max Ai!cr in the PhiIalo!rhia Bulletin
II WAS just after the fall election hat We
met him His name va, not Stretch, hat
VIII 80 designate n;in. He poured til >or-
. rowlul sorry in the ear of an attentive and
,yupst!Irtc Iisteuer;
No. sIr: Il never RIM for office again,
,aij Mr.. Sr.i-h. You know when they
cane and asked M ii Ia accept Ihc ur'uiGa-
;iOn IN the Legislature" they told ~" that the
whole community wanted m. - run. and
! t,.u | was crrail to be elected. because |
wa. n man whose character was so good that
uuhaIysouii 'Imj fault with II. ! .hpu-ht so
myself aut agreed % ran. and accordingly
they nominated me. We'll. sir. the next
morning the Argus came out With an assertion
that had been detected IN Stealing chickens
and i gave d luii history Of tie ease. together
with pictures of the chickens. AMI after dark
/ iy lir'iEC that since abandoning chicken
Stealing [ had been continually engaged in
other forms Of robbery. 1t asked if the people
Of tbs State wanted to see chicken thief
, masinr law. Gr them. And tie mischief Of
! !, was tia, lil hook coap'c of chickens
from my crauimc,Lcr's coop when was u
snan boy. bu, mo,y n Thunder t'.cy ever found
. i, on, beats me Il was firy-,wo wears ago
.
nose for beauty Is it! know we'll enough
( that ~ crooked. Eut moi oly ever alluded
to il until was nominated. and then the
Ar-us said thar there was tradition that |
had the nose mashed around sideways during
my career as a rri>e-ii2nrcr, although some
people insisted that hal ruu j, Uard against
the 4, or while was drunk Aul then ali
! the illustrated papers Ia the State began 70
publish Pictpres c; ne with nose Ike the
4 ib-sh-,t uf an oyster sI"op, only twisted
arorrl sideways; and ore Of ITEM said that
when ,ncczed on the front porch the con-
cus,iol acted like boomerang ani blew the
back door OPEN.
. a nh teen HEY tackled me about NY war
record iuu know | Was out with the mIiiIia
Aud The ATgus published a letter from a man
( who said that daring TIE BATH o.! Gctlysburg
| was hll iu 2 refrigerator ~ n cedar III the
town, pretending that ! wa, ordered there to
mount guard over some rguOns of cold beet
/ And the Argus asserted thai the O.,y m1ncu-
, vre | wa. ever good at wa, falling back that
: whenever the eLe;uy was expected - be ap-
/ preaching | always mai" n Dce-.Ins tor Nova
Scotia. aud never turned mp unit after The
Gubt bat once. and then we were surprised,
anil tired my uipSkr, - ". lily thatl shat my
own colonel IN tie ieg and surrendered 20 an
Iri,hnan wLo belonged To Our regiment, and
wno came 10 me 20 borrow pin" "t tobacco.
To tell the truth, wasn't much ui Il ,Ilhilug
man. bat huw IN the mischief thcy found un'
abou: that refrigerator gets ire. Awful, i,u
ii2 | w,uitint have minded u - much Only
tlrrv got uD n poster aud stuck II ar"uui Ia"
street, and headed it stretch War Record.
and put on il picture oi me with 4 mon
.rrous lop-sidei nose sitting inside that !el'i=e
rator gnawiug at a bone out OF the Ioisi be,i
Ant then. ~ tie campaign went along
they accused me Of having the deierInm tre-
mems, OF beating my wife, OF wiplnG my nose
on my sleeve, 1t IuhJIng bank, oi selling
NV dead aunt To a medical college, ant OF
hoGin. the dOcluue tuat the whale dldn
swallow Jonah, ami that when Moses crossed
Tie Rel Sea he padded over M boat ] ht
Argus said that If my wife dared to tell how
] treated her the community would be hleI
with horror. but anybody might see FOR them
selves who would notice that her back hai
was all thiuned out. And ii said that | Ia {
wen on my leg that untitled me for active
duty anyhow, even If | had NOT forfeited al
claim TO public confidence by turning 'nl
grandfather on; Of doors when he was dyInl
of consump'iyu. ant then setting my dog OF
him and making the aged man roost IN
mulberry tree on The coidest night last wintc
for fear of being eaten up.
"HeCple began 70 avold me on the street
The general impression prevailed that wa
desperate AMI hardened william. Hl-A
. have stood THAI. but v1u know ttc way 'h"
i'F.e 800 uc igr"aI aI''-'s "ls l"i'. Inc