New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1876-03-18
SPRING WEaTHER no ORDER.

II il proposed by reverend and scientific
gentleman in Kentucky to abolish Winter
the very thing which Nature seems to have
been irving 10 do this season. Mr.. Voolfolk
of Lexington expects Ia secure constant sup
ply of ethereal mdness by firing guns. Under
the genial influences of his explosions flowers
will bloom. sweet showers will descend, trees
will bud, birds will mate, and early green
peas he sold in the market at reasonable
prices We do not know that We exactly
understand Mr. Woolfolk's theory, but We
have found it highly impressive, Ike most
things which We don't exactly understand.
However We are told that in the North Temper
ate Zone there are two currents-the tropical and
the polar The more of the first which we have
the warmer we grow the more of the second we
have the colder we grow; we hope nobody Mt
TIN. time of day will dispute these indis-
putabe facts. What you want 10 make
lovely, open Winter, with no slciShlng, no
skating, and no frozen noses, and with
plenty of fcvers, is minus Polar and plus
Tropical. There is a wind blowing from the
Tropic Of Cancer. Of the southwest sort, and
this il nice aud comfortable; there Is another
wind blowing ON the top of this
from the y. T., and this means over
coats The Polar current cannot get
down TO Us and produce that familiar
| phenomenon, "the Coolest Day of the Season."
except by cutting hole III the Tropical.
Through this it "pours it, volume and some
times large number of volumes. When 1t
! manages 10 elbow its way through then is the
time 10 bring ont the furs and umbrellas. The
p. G.. aud the I. c., IA we understand 1t, are
not upon good terms and don't readily minglc
i'm social intercourse. aud that IL why we have
"convulsioDs of the elements The Tropi-
calls way is to riso higher and higher, until
il becomes " embarked" being in this respect
exactly like n Wall-st. capitalist This
obstructs Poar's How, and both being "retn-
forced from behind like briGader gen
eral in difficulties, the Polar cuts through the
| Tropical, and discharges its mass through the
"stoIm track This the Rev. Mr.. Voolfolk
proposes mot being bit afraid of it, ito
"confine to given area How is he to do
this "A many other things are done-"by
"explosions of g,npowder." All that ~
needed il "a days cannonading." This viii
always "break vortex The Trop-
zeal Current is weakened. The Polar
Current passes peaceably along about
lis business. All IL serene. The oldest inhabi-
! tant says that he never know such mild Win
| ter. Coal bills arc reduced TO minimum.
! Operations in the principal mines arc sus-
pended, and yet tho miners under the soothing
influence of the weather are a. peaceful as 20
many black lambs All You need is "a series
"of cannonades." All you have so do is to fire
! away and fire frequently.
| We have suspicion that we have moi eS-
planned Mr.. Woolfoik's plan very satisfactorily;
but, at any rate, we arc sure OF the guns.
These will give a touch Of lesiyity 10 the opera
tons, aud mako The du)icst Winter day lively.
Being asked at what point he would erect his
| experimental batteries. Mr. Voolfolk answers
argely: II would select the Pacific Ocean. |
"wonld erect battery ON the Aleutien Islands.
"The southerly wind would sweep constantly
1.-The Atlantic, driving before it the warm
"surface waters into the Arctic and out
through Behring's Straits into the Pacific y
And all this time the Rev. Mr.. Voolfolk, with
his assistants, is working his batteries on the
Aleutian Islands. "Ice and snow" he says,
would soon disappear We should think so,
and he glad to do it.
We dare not venture TO speculate upon tho