The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-06-19

lngersolps, or General Harlan's, OF
Fred. Douglass's, ana they would look
about like a small knot on big log
The aforesaid trinity evidently can talk
besti through lead pencil. Their elo.
quence is altogether incisive-with scis.
sors! If they were born orators, either
of the stump or the pulpit breed, they
were manifestly botched in the making
up. ...s.. .# a-.... s,. ..,-
80
THE GAR,sEAr WAR.-They are wan
tonly waging windy wordy war in the
East about car seats, Car seats may be
denominated the eastern Question:
and it bids fair to prove as long OF con
tinuance and as difficult of solution az
that other question Of like name inyoly-
ing the future destiny of Constantine
pie. The Eastern newspapers abound
in news from the seat of war, the cal
seats. The insurgent forces are com
posed chiefly of the bearded sex, while
The defenders Of Pullman are quite nat
urally recruited from those of the pull.
back persuasion.
The rebels against Pullman demand
certain reforms in car seats, so that they
may have resting places for their arms,
their feet, the small of their backs, and
the back Of their heads. This, the Pull
manic Amazons resist; declaring that
there shall be no arm-chairs in Prince
Pullman's ''palaoes," because they
''crumple" the rufhing of their dresses
there shall be no further filling in car
seats to sustain the small OF the back,
because with good twenty-four-paper
hustle on they are full enough now; and
| nothing shall be added to the height oi
car seats to support the head, because
IL would ''smash UP" their feathers and
| braids. On this point they are as fixed
and immovable as the very hair they
wear; and they swear they'll be Switched
il they yield. -'
Now that is the issue. Upon that the
| gage Of battle has been thrown down;
md the belligerents are at it. Between
these contending forces of weak-backs
and pullbacks poor Pullman is being
pulled all to pieces. What the result OF
this conflict may be "is one of those
things no tellah can find out"
The New York Times maintains that
| the Pullmanio champions of the female
persuasion should not complain, for the
reason that nature and art have COM
bined to give them one very important
| advantage over their bearded and booted d
adversaries, in their capability for sit
| ling down on car seat in such manner
as to secure for themselves "foot rest''
| that the Anti-Pullmanites can not com.
mand. The Times puts this proposition
after this wise.
"There is one more objection to arm
chairs, the force of which every close
student of feminine habits must admit,
When a woman sits down with the in
tention OF making herself comfortable,
there is an Immediate and total disap-
pearance Of one OF her boots. What be-
comes OF that boot is a mystery which
thoughtful men in all ages have yainly
yearned to solve. BACON is understood
to have classed it among his list OF the
arcana of nature, though it is unac-
countably omitted in the later editions
of his works, and Sir ISAAC NEWTON,
when on his death-bed, sadly remarked
to his daughters that he had successful
ly grappled with grayitation, but
that this boot problem had thrown
ilim.' A long series of careful
scientific observations have, however,
established the fact that this curious
phenomenon can not occur in connec-
tIon with an armchair. 1t is hence plain
that no woman can achieve comfort ex-
cept in a chair devoid OF arms, and it is
our duty toreverently accept this truth,
although, in this stage of our existence,
our minds can not grasp the mystery
which underlies it,"
Now that is putting the case very
strongly. 1t resolves the whole Dues
tion of car seats into a "mystery;" and
once there, every person can easily
settle it, each in his own way. We hope
that this war of the car seats will 90 on
till something is evolved from some-
body's inner consciousness better than
the present style of break-back, break
neck, break-leg car seats. And when
that war is ended, then--woe to the con.
queredl "V9 Vjctts."