Lincoln County advocate. (Canton, Dakota Territory, [S.D.]) 1876-1877, 1876-12-06
HE HAD H PATENT.


pleasant-faced man, having something
wrapped up in paper under his arm,
called at a Detroit hotel and requested q
few minutes conversation with the land.
lord. When they were seated the
stranger began:
/" ana an old landlord, myself.
kept hotel in St. Louis for twenty eight
years."
Yes" was the non-committal reply
OF the landlord.
"And of course know all about the
inconvenience of bookkeeping" re-
sumed the man. "There were bugs
around the beds in my hotel, and there
are bugs around the beds in every hotel,
I suppose. OF course, used to lie to
guests, but the bugs were there, and !
knew it,
"What do you mean ?" demanded the
landlord, growing red clear around to
his neck.
-" just keep right STILL" replied the
man, I" for now I'm coming down to
biz. This is the summer season, isn't
it, and the only season when bugs bite
In the winter they are dormant, and un-
less there's fire in the room they don't
care to get in their work on the weary
traveller. Well, the summer season is
the season for the mosquito, also. All
hotels and houses have mosquitoes, and
nothing is thought of it. They seem tc
be sort of necessity. Travellers will
raise howl over bugs, but they neve,
even grumble at any one about zoos
quitoes."
"sir do you think keep junk
shop 90 reared the landlord.
"No, sir, I don't. This is regular
hotel, and very good one. As I was
going to remark, I have invented anc
patented machine, operated by boy
and crank, which you and all othe1
landlords want and will have. It is g
machine to initiate the hum of mos
quitoes. Its notes can be heard all ovel
each floor, and with good boy at the
crank there can be no failure. Thu
traveller, just doing off to sleep, hears
the hum. At the same time bug works
out from under cover. Then more huns
and more bugs. Actually, sir, without
any lying or exaggerating, men vii
strike and claw the air all night long tt
kill imaginary mosquitoes, while the
bugs 60 unmolested and grow fat. The
hum is perfect imitation, and has ever
deceived Yale College professors. With
out it, your guests will blow around
about bugs. With it, no traveller will
mention bugs at all, but will rip and tea,
at the mosquitoes"
"Do you mean to insult me e.
shouted the landlord.
"No, SIR"
"But you talk as if I had bugs in my
house !"
"l'll tell you what III do, landlord.
I'll examine five beds, and if I don't
find bugs in at least three of them, II
give you machine for nothing"
1t would have been a nip-and-tuck
fight If the great big porter hadn't
jumped in and hit the stranger with an
iron boot-jack. The inventor still
lived, however, and within half an hou,
was seen bearing down for another
hotel under full sail.-Detroit Free
Press.
THOSE WONDEKFUL F1HENCHMEN
The national wealth of France and the
remarkable habits of thrift that charac
ierize its people are in very remarkable
contrast with the hard times prevailing
everywhere else. While all the rest OF
the world is pinching and economizing,
France is recklessly and lavishly pitch.
ing her milliards about as if they were
pennies. The war indemnity amounted
to five miliards, and the war cost nearly
ten milliards, aud yet there are now two
milliards of money in coin lying in the
Bank of France. In our money the war
indemnity was 81, 600, 600, 600 ; the cost
of the war, $4,000, 000, 900; and there
are now in bank, $40o, 900, 900. The
recent city loan of Paris, amounting to
$75, 900, 900, was taken OF once, and
more than thrice the amount was offered.
TIE Paris correspondent of the Edin-
burgh Scotsman writes that the French
budget which is now under discussion
exceeds el00, 100000, or over $500, OOO,-
600, and yet meets with no serious oppo-
sition, except in the matter of the war
estimates, which the Budget Committee
thinks should be slightly reduced. The
war estimates amount to $4,000, 900,
which the Committee are seeking to re-
duce about $4,000, 1000. The only criti-
cism upon these extraordinary estimates
comes from the Imperialists, who do not
object to the estimate itself, but are in
clined to improve the opportunity of
tauntingthe Republicans with the charge
that their expenditure vastly exceeds
that of the Empire, to which the Repub-
Leans retort that the increased expendi-
tnre is owing to the recklessness of the
Empire, which increased thepublic bur
aens and lost all the tax payerso Of Alsace
and Lorraine. The wealth of the French
people, especially after the exhaustipg
drain produced by the Franco German
waf, shows most remarkable dscree of