davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29
The Centennial Exhibition.

Now that the centennial exhibition is
the result. The number Of visitors to Phila
delphia, exclusive of excursion trains for
the day from New York, Baltimore and |
other near cities is estimated at about three |
millions. AS these three millions of |
strangers stopped at Philadelphia from two |
to six days, and at each visit to the centen- |
nial grounds had to pay the customary fee
of fifty cents, except upon the halfprice
days, we find that from the daily repetition
of visits by the same persons the total pay
ing attendance was in excess of eight mil
lions, and the cash receipts three million
eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars
The expenses are put at one million eight
hundred and fifty thousand dollars, leaving
surplus from fees at the gate alone of two
millions of dollars. To this must be added
the revenue derived from sums paid by
persons for the privilege of doing business
on the grounds, amounting in the aggregate
to about million of dollars more. 1t has
been generally understood that the con-
gressional appropriation of million and
half of dollars was made on the condition
that the sum thus granted was to be re-
garded simply as loan which was to have
precedence in a disbursement of the re.
Oeipts. But by the curious wording of the
bill it was discovered soon after its passage
that the United States, according to the
construction put upon it by some members
of Congress, was not made a preferred
creditor, but was placed subordinate to all
others. An attempt was subsequently
made to remedy this defect in the law, but
the House of Representatives voted it down.
1t is thought that decision of the Supreme
Court will be needed as to whether the
government under the bill as drawn can
claim precedence in the distribution of the
receipts. If this suit should be instituted
the subscribers to the centennial stock,
who hope to realize some eighty per cent
on their investment, will have to wait for
their money until the matter is determined
We now touch upon another point Of
interest. The total population of the
United States may be roughly estimated al
forty-fve millions. The distance from the
Pacific States-the remotest point of settle
ment-to Philadelphia, is at least seven
: days travel. The population to be drawn
upon in Europe, occupying the same area
and required to travel the samA distance to
reach any of the worlds fairs that have been
held there, is estimated at some two
, hundred millions, or more than four time.
the population of the United States. This
, being understood the following compare
tive table of the attendance and receipts o
the several international exhibitions i
singularly suggestive:
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29
MAKING EYES.

So many things girl can make,
can not fathom why
So few can turn us out a cake,
Or make an apple pie.
Excuses they can make, galore,
Fair bouquets, wreaths, and ties;
But they delight in something more,
And that is making eyes,"
A girl can make q man fooi-
See history for that
Can make dress by Fashions rule,
Or trim a dainty hat.
But oft-from gaping crowds apart
I've pondered with surprise
On this: her rarest, dearest art,
You know, is making eyes,"
A woman makes the moments fly,
She makes the cash fly, too;
For husbands say she makes them buy
Whatever comes in view.
But this know, o modern belief
1t is no vain surmise-
The art in which you most excel
Is that of making eyes"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

l long have been puzzled to guess.
And so have frequently said,
What the reason could really be
That never have happened to wed; :. .-.
, But now it is perfectly clear
1 am under a natural ban;
The girls are already assigned
And I'm superfuous man!
Those clever statistical chaps
SDeelare the numerical run : , = ~
OF women and men in the world,
Is Twenty to Twenty -and-One;
And hence in the pairing you see,
Since the wooing and wedding began,
For every connubial score,
They've got superhuous mani
By twenties and twenties they go,
And giddily rush to their fate,
. For pone;of their number, Of course,
Can fail Of a eonjugal mate;
But while they are yielding in scores
To Natures inAexible plan,
There's never woman for me
For I'm a superhuous man!
II isn't that am in want
OF personal beauty or grace,
For many aman with a-wifei -
Is uglier far in the face,
Indeed. among elegant men .
"a" Ifancy myself in the'van,
But what is the value of that
When I'm superfiuous man!
Although am fond of the girls.
For aught could ever discern
The tender emotion feel
Is one that they never return.
'Tis idle to quarrel with fate,
For, struggle as hard as can,
They're mated already you know
And I'm a superhuous man!
John g. Sdre
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Miss Farman, the editor of the juvenile
magazine Vide A'oake, has made practical
an excellent idea. She has arranged a
Dolls Fair, where dolls shall be exhibited
and afterward given as Christmas presents
to the sick children in hospitals all over
the country. Other advantages belong tc
this fair. The dolls must all be dressed by
girls under 5 years years old. Ten premi
ums are offered for the best cut and best
sewed suits and after the awardsare made
the dolls will be distributed to the children
who need them. ..
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Leaving out exhibitors and comnission-
ers representing their respective govern
ments, only few hundred foreigners were
present at the Philadelphia exhibition. All
the others were citizens of the United
States, and it is a striking exemplifcation
not only of the patriotism that impelled
them to assist at this celebration of the
centenary year Of independence, but also of
the larger number Of persons in the United
States, as compared with those of Europe,
whose means enabled them to expend the
sums required to defray the cost of travel,
of their sojourn in Philadelphia, and of the
charges incurred in their daily visits to the
centennial grounds.--Bah. Sun.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Not single Northern State, except New
Jersey, has ademocratie Legislature, New
York, Connecticut, and Indiana elected
Democratic Governors and gave their cleo
toral vote for Tilden, but all of them choose
Legislature Republican on joint ballot.
In New York and Connecticut the expla.
nation is simple one--the votes of the
people, outside Of the chief cities, were by
large majority Republican. f
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

"Why didn't you put on a clean collar
before you left home?" called out an i'm
pertinent young fop to an omnibus driver.
"Cause your mother hadn't sent home my
washing,n was the extinguishing reply.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A little girl, four years old, created a rip
pie by remarking to the teacher of her
Sunday School class: sour dogs dead.
l bet the angles was scared when they saw
him coming up the walk. He is cross to
strangers"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

The Faculty of Trinity College issued an
order last week forbidding the students to
sing on the campus or in the buildings.
The students agreed upon a system of re-
prisals. During the services in the chapel
on Sunday afternoon the students were
silent and the hymns were sung by two
professors with uncertain voices. After
the sermon, however, the boys relented and
joined heartily in the closing hymn. Col
lege music has degenerated-there is no
doubt about that. In place of the splendid
Latin and German choruses which were
sung at Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown,
and Union in days gone by, sentimental
ballads, snatches from opera bouffe, and
negro minstrel tunes are popular in
American colleges to-day. But notwith-
standing this lapse in musical taste, college
singing is a thing to be encouraged. The
Faculty may as well let the boys sing as
often as they please on the college
grounds.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A negro Methodists idea of ministerial
qualification =" De new preacher is moro
learnt den Mshtuh Boles was; but Lor'
bress ye, sab, he amt got de doleful SCUM
like Mishtuh Boles had. Ne indeedy.'
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

SWEET PoTATO CRoQUErs.-Peel, boil and
mash finely, add salt, good lump of
butter, and one or two beaten eggs. Make
into uniform shapes, and drop in the boil
ing fat These will be found very palatable.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

The Rev. DIR. Stephen II. Tyng's faculty
for originating words has apparently some.
what mystified the Bostonians of the Y. M.
c. A., who went to hear him the other
evening. When he brought out the term
"sanctifgumption" good brother felt i'm
PEELED to suggest that 'isanctifed COM
mon sense" would be much better mode
of expression.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A lady says engagements are very unsatis-
factory sort Of affairs, for if you are afraid
to be polite and attentive the gentleman
thinks you do not care for him and you
are afraid to be polite for fear the engage
ment be broken off when you would be
sorry to think you had wasted so much
sweetness on some other womans husband.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A little girl, when asked by her mother
about suspicious bites in the sides of
dozen apples, answered: Perhaps, moth
er, they have been frost-bten; it was SO
cold last night"
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

The expression of a nervous woman's
face upon getting into dentists chair, is
something that no man can initiate until
he gets a letter from his mother-in.law
sharply inquiring if that spare room is
ready.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A Connecticut school marin, who was
recently kissed in the dark by mistake,
explained her omission to use any light for
for nearly two weeks afterward on the
ground of hard times.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A man must be pretty drunk to go along
the streets holding fast to his coat collar
with both hands to prevent falling down.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

When trouble o'press, and the future
appears vague and dark, how painfully
does man realize that short nightshirt
is insufficient to keep out the evening ze-
phYrs.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

THE WIDOW AND THE BoUQUET.-A pretty
widow, whose husband has been dead
several years, received a beautiful boquet
the other day. The man that sent it has
been flying around her with an earnest
ness of a dry goods clerk, and it was with
extra delight that he saw her pass his store
that evening with the boquet of flowers in
her hand.
Gam SO pleased to see you with them"
said he, and a thousandli little cupids dimpled
in his smile.
eyes," she replied, ''it was very kind in
you; | always knew you liked him; l am
taking them to his grave
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Texas hasa new game in cards-one holds
a revolver, while the other holds the cards.
A coroner holds the inquest, of course.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

"Doctor, how is a man to tell a mushroom
from toadstool2n ''By eating it. If you
live it is q mushroom you die it is toad.
stool,n
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

"That's the only wedding trip shall
ever take" said an old bachelor, as he
stumbled over brides train.
The man who regained his health by
eating oysters, called it case of "raw
recruit"
New York city has $685. employees, and
their annual salaries amount to $l0,2SI ,066
It is the passion that is in kiss that
gives to it its sweetness.-Bouee.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

A Western paper publishes a poem on
the Butts of Nacher.' There were sixty
three stances. The paper contents itself
with giving the first as follows:
Go see what have sawn
Go feel what have felt
Walk in the fields at early dawn
And smell what l have smet.'
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Leading London hotels give American
oysters, apples, and cheese as luxuries.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29
Drunkenness as a Disease.

The modern fashion of treating drunken |
ness as a disease seems TO have come Of
late into disrepute. "Dipsomania is the
learned name by which the disease is
called. Inebriate asylums have been estab-
lished for the treatment of this malady,
pauper patients being treated freely if
placed there on commitment, while rich
ones are obliged to pay. 1t seems that the
experiment has not been altogether sue
cessful. The New York Journal Of Cone
naerce says that the New York City Inebriate
Asylum on Wards Island is condemned as
a failure both by the physicians and by the
commissioners Of charities and correction.
The asylum has had forty-three paying
patients during the past year, not one of
whom is announced as "cured." The
relapse of the patients when discharged
"has been," says the chief of staff, "a
source of chagrin and disappointment to the
most sanguine friends of these infirmaries." J."
The number permanently cured" since
the establishment Of the asylum, in 1868,
"could, fear," he says, "be established
only by zeros." The expenditures of the
concern have been large and the receipts
small, the benefits, according to the best
accounts, being slight. The commissioners
are of the opinion that the funds lavishly
spent upon the asylum could be put to a
better use. They have concluded that
"habitual drunkenness is not to be re-
gardsd as q disease, but habit practically
within the control of each individual case "
and that those "who desire reformation
can obtain the object at home and with
their families" This is a sensible conclu
sion, and agrees with the opinion of intelli
gent men on the subject of "dipsomania,
though it is likely enough there will be ar
intemperate controversy on this, as or
other matters connected with temperance
That Mr.. Tilden resembles Napolean, bu
not in face, is the opinion of a correspond
ent of the Philadelphia Times. He says
"The homeliness and dullness of Tilden are
unreleved, save by the occasional light 0
a cold, yet genial, smile from the small
pleasant, firm mouth. The face, despite
rather fresh complexion, has washedout
faded look. It's lines betray the wear ant
tear Of deep study, Of severe mental strain
unrest, and intrigue, and the eager gras
of boundless ambition. The lips denot
no passion, save the passion for power, an
the steel-like, pale-blue eye flashes back n
response to the enthusiastic greetings {
the men who take his hand. 1t is an utterl
impassive, yet astute and distrustful face
with no shade of imperiousness, but wsa
and mild, with the single exception of tn
, thin, cold lips, which denote the charactt
of the man as no feature can do. No pos
tion to which he may be called will mate
tally affect the mechanical routine of h
:, ways, nor stamp his features with sing
, emotion. If there be raging fires of unre
, within, coating of ice conceals them.
. there be wild, tossing fears of defeat, I'll
:. passionless face masks them well. Not
nerve seems sunstrung, not muscle quivers
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29
VOLUME XXII.--NO. 27.
THE sUPERFLUoUs;MAN.

1t is ascertained by inspection of the registers of
many countries that the uniform proportion Of male
ia female births is q 40; accordingly in respect to
marriage, every twenty first is naturally super
auous-Treadse on PopuldtiJR.s ,t'h
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Prof. Reuleaux, President of the German
Commission at the Centennial Exhibition,
whose report to the Home Government on
the inferiority of the German exhibits was
so angrily denounced at Berlin, has not
modified his views. lie delivered an ad-
dress before the Prussian Industrial Society,
about a month ago, in favor of the lrotec-
ton of home industry. He stated that in
the United States manufacturing industry
has oflate years been enormously developed
in all its branches, and that the present
condition of American manufacturers shows
the fallacy of the free trade doctrine that
the productions of a country are raised in
price by protective duties.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29

Benjamin Franklin was oarpet.bagger.
Smyrna times., 1876-11-29
WHOLE NO. 1,121.

"What did you want to bet for?' asked
his Honor, the Judge.
"What fur? Why, to win, sab, of course
sah."
"And you didn't win?''
"No, sab. de Dimercrat dat bet with
jist scooped me right in, sah."
"You lost twenty dollars, did you?"
ayes, sab. l don't keer so much about
twenty dollars, but de queshum is, wars my
overcoat to come from dis wintcr?"
CATER finding that you had lost $50 you
got drunk, did your
"Dat was de programmy, sab. When l
heard dat | was all mashed to pieces. felt
as if didn't keer to live any longer
"Isn't it better not to bet at all 2" softly
asked the court.
"Onless you is sure Of winning, sab =
"Well, you go home. I've let the others
go and l won't fine you, but if you come
here again you'll be made to wonder
whether there is a great republic or a one
horse colony"
"De trouble is I Won never come again. :
replied Thurlow, and he faded fast away.
National Republican., 1876-08-11
The Tyrolese Warblers.

This quintette of beautiful singers yesterday
morning. in response to a previous invitation,
visited the Executive Mansion, accompanied
by Simon Wolf, esq, recorder of deeds, and
were presented to the President and Mrs.
Grant. There was also present Ulysses Grant,
jr., and Hon. J, A. J. Creswell. They rem
dered some of their choice songs in a most ac-
ceptable manner, and were called on for repe-
titions, to which they willingly responded.
Each of the lady singers was the recipie Mt of
a handsome boquet from the hands Of Mrs.
Grant, after which they were invited to par
lighted with. The simplicity Of tie President
and his amiable wife, and in parting, kissed
her hand. They could not help comparing the
unostentaiious manner of republic with that
of European mOnarchies, and expressed the
decided opinion that we ought to be happy in
this country, where the rulers are so truly
democratic.
National Republican., 1876-08-11
Police Board,

At the regular meeting of the Board of
Police yesterday, Private William j. Dunivan
was appointed clerk in the office of the sec
retary, vice Capt. B. NJ. Reed, deceased, and
Private Michael B. Gonnan was detailed to fill
the position heretofore held by Officer Duni-
van. Thomas p. Howard was appointed q
private on the force.
Applications ior liquor licenses from Thomas
J. Sherwood, John Fahrukoph, Lucas * Van
Slyke and Louis Pabst were approved. That
of Thos Agnes was disappproVed. The appli-
cations of William Nogelweyd and Brooks il
Thomas were referred to Major Richards.
The president called the attention of the
board to the recently enacted law requiring all
wstchmen and policemen employed in the
grounds belonging to the United States to CO.
operate with the Metropolitan police in enforc-
ing the rules and regulations of the Board of
Metropolitan police, made in relation to the
public works and approved by said board; and
Major Richards was directed to issue instruc-
tions to all such watchmen and policemen.
National Republican., 1876-08-11
1e,xns Nsuopb,;,c.a,,

On Wednesday night an enthusiastic meeting
Of the Iowa Republican Association was held
at Lyceum hall, ex- Governor Lowe, of Iowa,
presiding, and Mr.. D. P. Gallatan, secretary
At the opening Of the meeting the following
resolutions were offered and adopted:
Resolved, That all persons occupying posi-
tions in the several Departments of the Govern
ment in Washington, who are accredited to the
State OF Iowa, are hereby respectfully and cor
daily requested to unite with this association
and aid, as far as in their power, the advance
ment of the principles of the Republican party
in the coming Presidential campaign.
Resolued, That owing to the wholesale indis-
criminate reduction Of the clerical forces in the
several Departments which is demanded by
the House, and in view of the malignant par
tisan example given by the House in sum-
marily discharging all Republican employees
and the appointment of Democrats and ex-
rebels in their stead, we now demand that all
Democrats and those not in sympathy with
the Republican party who are now occupying
positions under the Government should first be
singled out for discharge.
Resolved, That the secretary of this 'associa-
tion be, and he is hereby, instructed to for
ward copy of the above resolutions to each
of the Republican Representatives in Congress
from the State OF Iowa.
Mr.. Stocking was called upon and ffered
couple of campaign songs which drew fort h
drowning peals of applause. The first one was
entitled "ListeD, Freemen." Maj. O'Connor
then delivered an address which abounded in
wen-taken points and humorous sayings and
was duly appreciated by the association.
Mr.. Stocking followed with another of his
songs entitled al once had dream, !" and also
one founded upon the "united aspect of the
Republican party" vote of thanks was
rendered the above-named gentlemen for the
manner in which they entertained the associa-
tion.
Messrs. Stephen Tabor and John Hunter
were elected members. The meeting then sd-
journed to meet on the 22d inst.
National Republican., 1876-08-11
The PaYemaut Quastion.

An observer OF the recent numerous efforts
to improve the pavement of the streets of
Washington was pleased to see in THE REPUB-
LICAN of this morning clear disapproval of
the Grahamite and Neufchatel specimens put
down in this city, both of which are more or
less fractured. By taking up any of the broken
pieces it will be found that a very thin part of
the surface is hard and too smooth for safe
use, and that all below that surface is so soft
and brittle as to be easily broken and pulver-
lied under the pressure of fingers.
AS for that known as concrete, there are two,
and only two, good specimens in this city, viz:
the Arlington and that on the crown of the
Tiber arch Oh Pennsylvania avenue, and with
out doubt the very intelligent Commissioners
may go improve upon these as to make them
all that can be desired, and forever remove all
stone pavements. 1t was hoped the Commis-
sioners would know precisely what is wanted,
present an exact plan, accompanied with com
plete specifications, and receive proposals for
the execution of such an approved plan only.
This is the only safe way to deal with ques-
tion of such great importance.
OBSERVER.
WASHINGTON, u. G., Aug. 10, 1876.
National Republican., 1876-08-11
Suit Against Senator Jopes.

In the clerks Office of the Supreme Court,
yesterday, Alexander T. Britton, Horace .
Gray and Willis Drummond, doing business as
Britton, Gray q Drummond, in this city,
entered suit agairs: tie Hon. John P. Jones,
Senator from Nevada, for the sum of 81 900,
for legal services rendered TO defendant. The
services rendered were in the NewhaII and
Sanger and the Santa Monica cases. In the
former plaintiffs sue for the agreed proportion
of fee, and in the latter for payment for
various legal services in connection with the
case, all amounting to 81, 900. The declara-
ton states that the suit is entered for profes.
slonal services rendered by plaintiffs to de-
iendant at his request, and for work done and
laoor, care, diligence, &c, by them performed
ana bestowed as the attorneys and solicitors
OF ana lor the said defendant in and upon his
reclaimer in and about the prosecuting, de-
lending, soliciting divers causes, suits, &c, for
defendant; also, for divers journeys aud other
attendance, and that defendant repeatedly
promised to pay for the same, but had ne
elected TO do so.
National Republican., 1876-08-11
A Clam Catches q Rat,

"Hsrry as a clam" is a well-known ex-
preston, and, perhaps, the happiest clam in
this city resides in the cellar of the restaurant
Of Mr.. Henze, on the Avenue. 1t ought to be
happy, at least, for it has accomplished feat
never before accomplished by any of the
bivalvular tribe. Wednesday, while large,
robust gentleman rat was prowling about in
the cellar he accidentally put his foot into the
mouth Of the clam, which at once closed its
doors and took the rat prisoner. When the
jaws Of the clam closed on the leg of the
rat 1t founded as though Belzebub had
broken loose in the cellar. The clam was a
large and heavy one, and the battle for de-
hverarce from the jaws of death on the part
Of the rat was desperate one. The clam took
it easy, and would not let go until biped In
the shape Of q man came 70 the rescue. The
rat was slain, and the clam fastened to the rat
was carried about town on exhibition during
the evening.