Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-12-22
WHOLE no. 594.
Gleanings.

You'll build the fires or III be
widow, is the way the Fat Contributors
wife talks.
! Our devil Gifted" the first stickful of
type he ever set and Gifted" it success
fully too-into the "space" box.
The schoolmaster who sat down on the
business end" of Il pin that had been
ingeniously fixed on his chair, rose like
a Phoenix.
Some papers are always talking of
their independence and sneering at .'or-
! gans" Isn't it better to be an organ than
"a lyre?-Alta California
An old lady in Detroit, hearing that
American Girl was dead, remarked: I've
allus said that this tight lacing would lay
EN- out some day"
Marriage is promotion" says George
Eliot. In the eyes of such reasoner, a
man with his thisd wife would doubtless
pass for Brigadier General.
The lower house of the Vermont legis-
lature, by a vote of III to 46. defeated
bill to accord to women the same rights
'ii''' "iS ShJOsS Su "
y New Orleans man announces in 3.
circular that having returned from -
scientific tour through Europe, he is no"
better prepared than ever for cleaning
carpets.
Were the superfluities of nation yHl-
ued and made perpetual tax for bencv-
olencc, there would be more almshous.,
than poor, schools than scholars, AMI
enough to spare for government besides
We shall never smile again until VIZ,
exchange photographs with the youn"
man that put shoemaker's wax on the
benches of the front portico of this ofilcc
-Easton Free Press.
Patrick. said an old gept,s..,ss4as, Il 10 IL,
servant, 1--WE are all creatures of fate
"Well if it wasn't for fate, how the diyit
could we walk, surc:'- Cincinnati Satur-
day Night.
This is the way the newspapers talk in
Louisiana: IF that convicted thief and
robber, jim Walker wants any fuss N:sh
us he can have steel or buckshot in ur.-
limited quantities BY poking his nose
around our corner
\ New York merchant has been detect
ed measuring thirty-four inches 10 HE
yard. Two inches is nothing on a towei.
but 1t tells heavily on woolen shirt when
the thermometer drops down.
\ lady put her watch under her pillow
the other night, but couldn't keep it there
because it disturbed her sleep And there
oil In bo, t1ol ,,,,l-:.
derneath her, and she never thought of
that at all
Il say, sambo, where did YOU get d.
shirt studs:' In dc shop, to be sure y
Yah, you just told ME you hadn't no
money Oats right" How did YOU
get 'em them "Well, saw on a card
in de window, collar studs so we nj in
and collared EN-
There is a village in New Hamshirc
which has produced twenty-six editors,
and it was in alusion to this circum
stance that a pious old deacon there re-
marked: Yes, there were twenty-siX
on EN-, but as they've all left town,
reckon the Lord won't lay 1t up agin us. y
white minister at . colored wedding
said: "On such occasions as this it is
customary TO kiss the BRIDE, but in this
case We will omit it - To this unclerl
cal remark the indignant bridegroom
very pertinenty replied: "On such oc
caslons 1t is customary to give the min
lister ten dollars but in this case we will
omit it."
Postmaster Parke lately received
letter addressed to the handsomest girl in
Whitehall. 1t WAS whispered about one
evening when the next day his Office was
b. sieged by pretty girls, all inquiring for
the letter. He has since received a letter
add rcssed TO the homeliest girl in White
hall, which has been sent to the dead let
ter office
A promising young shaver Of five or
six years Was reading mis- lessons at
school one day in that deliberate manner
for which urchins of that age are some.
what remarkable AZ he proceeded with
the task he came upon the passage.
Keep thy tongue from evil and thy bps
from guile" Master Hopeful drawled
out, "keep-tly-tong -tongue-from-evil-
and-thy -lips-from girls"
! The 1onkers Gazette wisely remarks;
when you see young man contemplat-
ing baby carriages with calm and
thoughtful eye, you may reasonably in
fer that the matrimonial sky Is bright, Sc
rene, and little sonny" But 'you had
daughter" not to be sure of that.-Nor.
rfstoaen Herald
The Shelbyville Republican saws tina,
the worst case of seltishness that it has
been permitted to present to the public,
emanated from a youth who complained
because his mother put bigger mustard
plaster on his younger brother than she
did on HIM, after they had been eating
melons and hard apples.
At the fish market The lady is ac-
companied by u lovely little girl How
much for that's" ''Oh, what sweet lit.
tie angel of a child. 1t is thirty sous,
madam. All. the darling Let me en-.
brace it. The living image of its moth
er.' Thirty sous? l will give YOU
twenty Twenty! Get out you little
| baboon"
''ls this the doctors Officer" INQUIRED a
man who popped his head inside the sane
] 'H"i ''oi 4No, sti, tllt UcAt ulSnt OF
stairs "Well, In too tired to 60 any
further" said he sadly; "but If YOU see
the doctor any time this morning, I wish
you would tell HIM that my step mother
is dying, and we'd like to have him call
if he gets time"
In Southern Utah, from a silver mine
OF considerable depth, petritied wood is
beng taken in which chloride of silver
Is contained, worth nearly $1,000 to the
ton. The formation is sandstone, out of
which horn-silver is taken The remark.
able point in the foregoing is the evidence
that the deposition of the silver was made
subsequently to the inclosure of the wood
IN the sand that af:eIward became the
sandstone.
a Washington telegram says the
''sutar refnerS continue in much trouble
about Secretary Bristow's order reducing
the drawback. But as long as the Sec,
retary doesn't issue an order reducing the
''pull-back." the ladies will be able to get
along-which they couldn't do if it was
reduced any more than it is at present.
The other evening a traveller endeayor-
ed to walk into the Washinfiton Hote,
temporarily closed for repairs, but was
unable to effect an entrance. "That