The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-08-10
The Lovers' Telegraph.

Now lOrk WOrlQ.
The fall trade in the sidewalk market
has opened briskly with the introduction
of q new commodity, chronicled in thu
World day or two ago and classed com
mercially @Lovers' Telegraph-No.
(plain) at 10 cents; No. 2 (impr.) at Ii
cents" Large sales at fair profits are re-
ported. During the past week the trade in
collar buttons, white cravats, lead pencils
and other necessities of life has been ex'
tremely quiet, owing to the numerous de.
mand for this new luxury, fact which
cannot be overlooked as an encouraging
sign of returning national prosperity, and
as an index (most happily coincident with
the arrival of Prof. Huxley of q real
growth of the public interest IN science
for tho article in question is the result Of
an intelligent application of the principles
of acoustics. 1t consists of two little tin.
cups or drums covered each at
one end with a piece Of thin
sheep-skiu, tightly drawn, and con.
nected by some twenty feet or more Of
Irvine. The popular name best explains
the use of the machine. Phyllis puts
the open end of her cup to that tiny pink
ear, and Demophoon whispers into his,
by the nightcap of my grandmother, 1
love you," or words to that effect. This
sentimental air-wave vibrating upon the
nearest drumhead, is made to undulate
over the length of Irvine which separates
the lovers, strike upon the drumhead OF
the other cup, an thus, by way of the
tiny pink ear aforementioned, convey its
burden of welcome intelligence to the
cerebrum Of the fair one, further than
which the process cannot be scientifieal
ly followed.
Although the sale of this latest and
most valuable invention, as we have OBJ
served, has begun very briskly, there are
certain palpsble drawbacks to its univer-
sal adoption. The faithful merchants
stand at all their accustomed places of
business and loudly advertise Its merits,
as in times past they have advertised the
merits of patent tooth brushes and me.
chanical canary birds. The passing Gus.
toner goes heedlessly by, hesitates, turns
back and finally takes up and examines the
the thing, as he has done with comic song
books, and patent glue, and forty such
devices. But new and strange thing
happens to him. The merchant, well
understanding that on their face his tin.
cups do not carry certificate Of their
valve, is eager to exhibit their myster-
ieus qualities, and ere be knows
1t the respectable middle
o,,,to,oo, AIDS ~
with a line at the end of which founders
a small boy, who seems bent upon swal-
lowing the bait, and who subsequently
invites the confused citizen TO put the
cup to his ear, whereupon the citizen, if
he is an average citizen, says, unkindly,
"You be hanged" and goes on to his
office, muttering, what next?"
But it is not only the difficulty Of OBJ
tanning the public appreciation which is
likely TO prevent the inventors making
a fortune; more serious one consists in
the fact that the majority of the class for
the use of which the machine was made
and after which it takes its name, are not
inclined to look favorably upon it. Say
something to me- whispers John. 30,
say something to me" answers
Sarah. 81 don't know what to say"
replies John. Neither do l." responds
Sarah, ard thereupon John throws his
little drum away and Sarah drops hers,
and they both come to the conclusion
that it is better TO say nothing twenty
inches apart than to telegraph through
tin cups twenty feet apart. TIE instru.
ment is likely to be abandoned, we fear,
to the exclusive use of Mayor Wickham
and Mr. Green in their moments Of re.
Cancellation and conference.