The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-06-12
Items OF Interest.

ears.
Tho art of life consists Of being well
deceived.
A man must be very hungry to like
tho sound Of a dinner gong.
Since the introduction OF silver there's
greater variety, but not so much change.
Tho Baltimore Stm advocates append
ing to every death notice the name OF the
doctor.
The difference between m overcoat
and baby is, one You was and the other
you wear.
Motto OF a Portland Temperance re-
form club: ave bend the knee, but not
the elbow"
DR.. Parr once asked Person what he
thought OF evil. ~ see no good in it"
was the reply.
Which is tho easiest profession 7
Divinity, because it is easier to preach
than to practice.
The utmost TINT severity can do is to
make men hypocrites; it can never make
them converts.
An old maid, speaking OF marriage,
says it is like any other dlsease-whlle
there's life there's hope.
Men of force and industry every
where will tell you that it is the hardest
thing in the world to do nothing.
Until he measures himself by others,
the seltmade man is never quite certain
whether or not he is well made.
The life of rich old bachelor is n
splendid breakfast, tolerably fiat din
ncr, and most miserable supper.
A conundrum that has never been
satisfactorily answered-How many
bootjacks does it take, to kill n catl
A clergyman, who lives on the sea-
shore, says he likes calm Sundays, be-
cause he is opposed to Sabbath break
ers.
During recent hail storm in Kansas
tho hailstoncs iu certain places were
drifted by the wind to n depth Of four
feet.
No young man should think OF send
ing poetry to publisher without send.
ing the names OF a few subscribers as IN
atOnement.
A young lady who had q new hood,
and was asked to lend it frequently,
said she was getting tired OF keeping
neighborhood.
The French invention Of toughened
glass is in some respects less satisfac-
tory than was at first supposed. 1t is
true that it does not easily break, butt
cannot be cut.
A London doctor has discovered that
you may cure the toothache by dissolv-
ing half drachm of bicarbonate OF soda
in an ounce OF water and holding the
solution in Your mouth.
Tho other day Black Hills stage
driver undertook TO horsewhip his pas
sengers into getting out and pushing up
hill, but the gold seekers held n cor
orer's inquest and found that he died Of
pneumonia.
A hotel in Kansas has tho following
notice displayed in the bedrooms !:
Gentlemen wishing to commit sricido
will please take the center Of the room,
to avoid staining tho bed linen, walls
and furniture with blood.
Some one asked tho elder Dumas for
his autograph. my autognph" hc
cried "you can find plenty Of them
floating about in the shape OF notes, mud
you will know that they are genuine by
their being all protested.
Young miss, fond OF pets-"Oh, I'm
80 glad you love birds, MIR. SHOCKS;
what kind do you admire ?" Young
man, who is quite poetical-"Well,
think n good turkey, with oyster stuff
ing, is about MS good Ms any,"
Experiments lately made in France
show that air laden with coal dust il
highly explosive. Several cases OF ex.
plosion in coal mines have been traced
to tho action Of suspended coal dust
when no fire. damp was present.
"How shall wo settle the labor ques-
toni" exclaimed politician i'll tho
midst OF his speech. "By all going to
work and earning your living honestly"
thundercd II spectator in tho gallery.
That sentiment brought down the house.
II man is looking for situation
and can show 4 good recommendation
from his mother-in.law, twill go further
toward securing him the position than
dozen testimonials from his uncle or
brothers,in- But such recommended
tons are extremely hard to get.
In replying to a toast to his health,
on recent occasion, Lord SGaftesbnry
told the story Of n man who said, when
his lordship was presented with
donkey by tho costermongcrs in Lon
don: "Somehow or other, shall never
again sec donkey without thinking Of
your lordship."
In Binghampton, y. T., there is m
insane man whose ailment is a symptom
Of lingering typo OF hydrophobia. Hc
was infected by being bitten by his wife,
who died OF hydrophobia about four
years ago. SEQ was bitten by dog
when sbe was girl, and lived fifteen
years without any symptoms OF the
disease.
Two sparks from London orco came
upon decent looking shepherd in Ar
gyleshire, and accosted him with: "You
have very fine view here; you can SEQ
n great way" "Yu aye, yu aye ferry
great way" "Ah! you eau sec America
here, I suppose /" "Farrer than that"
"How is that ?" "Yu jist wait tule tho
mists gang ava, and you'll see tho
mune."
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