Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-10-11
From the Toledo Blade.

From the Toledo Blade.
CoNFEDRrT x ROADS, wICH is IN TIL
STATE Nv KENTUCKY, Sept. Is, 1876
1t takes a great deal OF wear and tear ii
be leedin Dimocrat, more than I feel
kin stand, at my time Of life, pertickel
erly ez Bascom is watrin his ticker more
and more every day. On insufiseen
sustenance it's impossible to watch al
the pints and keep all the sheep safely
IN the fold. I'm longin for the eleck
shun and inoggersshen Nv that great
reformer, Tilden, SO that in the post
offs [ kin enjoy the froots Nv my laber,
and by gittin my likker by the gallon,
insted NV in desultory and infrekent
drinks, [ kin be shoor of both quality
and quantity.
My last trouble wuz my wust, and it
took me an entire day to get 1t straiten-
ed. Pollock and Joe Bigler had got
hold of a Moo York Democratic paper,
one which l he'd been quotin as author.
ity, and went from one bar-room to an
other, and red it to every Dimekrat in
the village. They even penetrated Bas-
CONS, and before [ got in he'd difoosed
their pison in that sakred precinct. It
contained long articles shown that
Tilden, our standard barer, wuz COM
mitted, sole and body, not only to hare
money, and imejit resumpshen, but,tha5
he wuz reformer Nv the reforminist
kind, goin SO far as to pledge hisself
never to pay dollar NV Southern war
claims, never to re- establish a niger
servitood in any form, and never to ap-
point to offs any but them ez WIZ ftid
for it, and SIGH ez wooden't steel.
They did this while I wuz out organ
!zin hundred Dimocrats to go over
into Injeany to vote in theinterest Nv
reform in October.
When I returned there wuz trouble.
l was surrounded by hundred indig-
nant DEMOCRATS demanding NV me wat [
wuz going to do about it.
{" [ am for REFORM" sed Deekin Po-
gram, but am a goin to be paid for
them sweet potatoes, and them fence
rails wich Fedrel pikkits seezed."
81 am for REFORM" sed Captain Nc
Pelter, "but want pay for them horses
wich John Morgan seezed, wich he
vaders, WITCH makes the Government
clearly responsible for them!''
II am for REFORM" sed Issaker
Gavitt, but wat is reform to me eff I
can't be Collector Nv this deestrick 2"
Shakin Nv EN- off smiled sad and
pensive smile at ther child-like limo
sense, and mountin stump, addressed
EN-.
My friends, I remarkt, "does water
ever git higher than it's fountin-hed Is
a Christian ever better than the Ten
Commandments ? (Then I he'd to ex-
plain to EN- wat the Ten Commandments
wuz.) Did 700 ever know party to rise
above the source Nv it's strength ? It's
all very we'll for this vile sheet in Moo
York to talk about hard money, there,
for the bloated bondholders of the Dim
ocrisy there want it; but do we? Not
any. We want paper, and lots Nv it,
and we're goin' to hev it. Wat kin the
East do about resoomin? Hev the
Dimocrisy any strength there Jist
enuff to hold the postoffises in case the
Dimocrisy elect President. But who
elects the Dimecratic President We
Nv Kentucky, Nv Virginny, Nv Mary
lund, and Nv Georgy. Massachusetts
wants hard money, but is our beloved
Tilden goin' back on Kentucky where
he hez friends, for the sake Nv Massa-
cAoosits, where he hezn't corporals
guard
"And speekin Nv the payment NV the
claims of Deekin Pogram and Captain
M'Pelter, How is the government agoin
to refoose it? Amt we the Dimocratic
party-we, and SIGH ez we, form the
Southern States Will there be mem
Der Nv Congress electid In the South
whose constity ooents didn't lose fence
rales, and mules, and sweet potatoes ?
All. my friends, when Sherman swept
to the sea, he didn't realize wat debt
be wuz pilin up wich his very sojers
will hev to pay when we Reformers git
control agin. Possibly he'd them soiers
knowd that they'd hev to pay for them
sweet potatoes, with the cost Nv collec-
lion, they woodent hev gobbled SO many
Nv 'em. Our representatives will be
safe on this question, and ez the North
ern Reform DEMOCRATS will get their
whack in, they will be satisfied by the
justis Nv the claims. Wat else hev we
TO consider in the matter
"And ez to the offisis, wher does
Samyooel Tilden git his support from
his own state /? Is 1t out in Delaware
county, where the people make much
of skool- houses, and churches, and SIGH,
them twin destroyers Nv Dimocrisy ?
No Baxter street and SIGH is his
strength. Is John Morrisey, and John
Kelly, and Oaky Hall, and Boss Nc
Laughlin supportin of him Methinks
they are. Hev they experienced a
change of heart Hev they got So
good in ther matoor yeers that they
won't take an offs, or see that ther
trends hev en-? Is Tilden a goin to
take his tone from Delaware county or
from the cities where he gifts his major
ities2
sob, ye Nv little faith! l am
Nv 700. Don't trubble about
the spoils till 700 see the thieves op
posin Nv him. Go home and repent.
[ ought to wash my hands Nv 700, but
I will stay and Iced 700 awhile yit. Go
home and be content with wat yoor
feeders are a doom. The Dimocrat
witch asks questions is lost.
And the Deekin and went into Bas-
CONS, and after takin a drink or two,
and lamentin Bob Ingersoll's infdelity,
The Deel1in forgot to pay
fer the ikker, and left it to be charged