The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-09-13
Personal and Impers0nal.

Personal and Impersonal.
The reigning belle at Cape May is a
red-haired girl from Cincinnati. The
day is coming when Milwaukee wo-
man with wart on her nose may be
the heroine in novel.
A contemporary thinks it is ssabout
time another Massachusetts, dam gave
way Wait until Ben Butler is NOM
mat Ell for Congress, and there will be
hundreds of Massachusetts d-s give
away.
Indian customs seem to be reaching
the East. Oldham Afraid -of-His.Wif
came home late the other night and
crawled under the bed, but was per-
suaded to leave his reservation and be-
came one Of the Soar-Heads.
Philadelphia Bulletin: ssIt was
pitched without, said the clergyman,
and an old baseball player, who had
been calmly slumbering, awoke with a
start and yelled ''foul.' The first bass
came down from the choir and nut
him out.
Some one wrote to the San Francisco
News Letter for the editor to decide a
bet as to Shakespeare's first name.
He replied: ''By reference to our en-
cyclopedia, we find his name was
George, or, as he always signed him.
self, G. Dobson Shakespeare.
Two Episcopal clergymen were in
the prayer desk, and one of them, un-
certain whether to read the prayer for
Congress or not, asked of the other,
ssHas Congress adjourned!'' s.No, and
it never will,'' was the hasty but
truthful reply. The prayer was read.
The Burlington Hawk-Eye interjects:
''By the way-N1r. Proctor Knott has
anybody heard aught of him since con.
gress adjourned ? If some of his friends
will kindly send us the great states
mans address; there is sick man in
the next room we would like to have
kicked.'
The Sultan Abdul Azaz bought at
one time fifty tigers and 100000 par
rots. We can understand (says an ex-
change) why man with several hun
dred wives should want fifty tigers,
but why he should buy so many chat
tering parrots will forever remain a
mystery.
To the demonstration of Professor
Huxley that the horse is on evolution
from the archippus, the Buffalo Ex-
press very pointedly responds: s.No
reputation is safe in these days. This
scandal would never have come out if
the horse hadn't been running for
something
Mr.. William Black in his story in the
September Galaxy tells of a sailor who,
coming on deck in the English channel
on voyage homeward from the Med
iterranean, and finding himself sur
rounded with driving sleet and fog and
east winds, remarked: ''Ha, this is
weather as is weather none O. your
hanged blue skies.''
A girl in Cincinnati recently over
loaded her stomach with heavy we'd
ding cake and retired early in order
that she might dream of her future
husband. She dreamed that a man
with mouth curling under each ear,
one white eye, a wig, and an income
of two dollars and eighty cents a year
came and sat on her footboard, and
she's in the worst kind of cave of
gloom now in consequence.
Mrs. Sarah F. Holt, an aged lady of
Nashua, New Hampshire expired sud-
denly upon her husbands coffin, last
week. She had gone into the parlor
where the remains of her husband had
been prepared for burial. Looking in
to the face Of the dead, she said quiet.
ly: GLOW can I live without YOU.
Henry!' Then, putting her hand to
her head, she tottered and was about
to fall, but, being caught by friend,
she was assisted to a chair, and imme-
diately expired.
Two of the younger Rothschilds have