The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1876-11-29
A Revival Incident

Simon Stringer was bluff old farmel
He prided himself upon being plafu
m.tter-of-taet man, about whom Their
: was no foolishness or sentiment. Oh
more than one occasion he had mortified
his wife and daughters by husiling then
out of religious meetings when they hae
begun to show signs of emotion. de said
he didn't believe in ''mirakerlous CONVEX
sions,' and that people who cried and
yelped over getting religion wash
gettin' it by burned sight. lie
believed that the genuine article was
soothing and calming, and not exciting
III its influence.
OHce the Complexities held protract-
ed meeting i'll his neigh borhood, and as
/ it was carried on without any sudden
outbursts of feeling, Simon took kindly
to it, and attended regularly. On Sun
day morning be told his wife to lay him
out two suits Of clothes.
why, Simon" exclaimed she in her
shrill tones, whatever do you want with
two suits of clothes ?'
That's my businessmen yours, he
replied gruffiy. You lay out my black
suit for me to put on, and wrap nay brown
one up in a bundle, and don't ask any
fool questions"
His wife, wonderingly but silently
complied, and Simon donned one suit,
and with the other under his arm, mounted
his horse and rode away, followed by the
anxious eyes OF the big and little String
ers, who marveled greatly, and said to
one another, "What's dad goin' to do
with his t'other clothes ~
4 l,Jt Z; inn
He took his place at the supper table,
which was the usual signal for the family
to begin an onslaught upon the victuals,
but on this occasion his voice arrested
every arm in its descent, and for the
second time that day astonished the
Stringers. CHANGING around the startled |
circle, he thus delivered himself
Il want it understood that the head of |
this household has this day been baptiz
ed. He is follower of the meek and |
lowly Jesus, and the first critter at this
table that dips anything afore a bleSsin' |
is asked II get snatched bald headed.
Drop yer eyes, ye heathens.
The blessing was asked, and the meal |
was eaten in silence.
After the chores were done the String /
ers were stringing off to bed, when the stern
voice Of the old man again arrested them,
and filled their minds with grave torebod-
ngs as to what was coming next. He adj
dressed them as follows:
Come into this room, every devil of
you, and flop down on your knees. 1t is
my duty as a devout Christian, to have
family worship, and I'll have it, too, and
have respectful attention, or I'll bust
some domestic ties asunder. This man
sion must resound with praises to the
Most High, or it will resound with some
one gittin' hell of a thrashin'-I mean
oein' severely chastised. The first one.
who smokers, or makes any Onseemly
noise, I'll git up and throw cheer through
him, or her, as the case may be. Let US
pray"
The prayer was prayed, and never was
here more attentive audience.
This sort OF thing continued about two
weeks, and the Stringer family were kept
n a state of extreme misery The
members had been several times
severely whipped for conduct unbecom-
ng the children of a true believer, and
he older ones had received such harsh
for failing to fall into the
new order of things and comport them
selves with due dignity.
Then one morning Simon came in with
l bad limp, battered milk pail, and the
knee of his pants torn. Dropping into a
chair at the table, he plunged his fork
nto the nearest dish. The children
ooked up from the backs of their plates,
luestionngly, and their mother squeaked,
why, Simon y
''Shut up and eat !" he growled, and
hen in few moments added
'FThis blessin' and prayer business is
fur awhile. l don't forgit my
an duties as a Christian, an
I'll resoom 'em arter Eve conquered that
loldinged red heiter The 'tarnal crit
er presooms too much on my Christian {
qrbearance. Durn hypocrite L
won't pray when my soul amt into it.
Its too great a strain. Fur the time
1ein' [ have descended from grace. Pass
he tomattusses."
4 sigh of relief went round the circle,
and if the red heifer had known how she
lad risen in the esteem of a majority of )
he Stringers her fractions soul would
nave leaped for joy.
That was several years ago, and now
he red heifer is a COW, and the worst :
me in the neighborhood. The Stringers
Jay, as they punch and plague her,
'Slong's We keep Old Red wild dad won't
;it any more o that awful relijun. > |
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