Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1876-02-24
Aumuruns department.
AN ECONOMICAL BUYER.

AN ECONOMICAL BUYER. a.
They drove into town on Monday, behind
cross-eyed mule and sprained horse. They
looked contented, but one could tell at 8
glance the head of the house, for she held the
ribbons, and when they halted. she hitched
the team, while he stood demurely by and
took the basket of eggs and her shopping
satchel, as she handed them out. They dis
posed Of their produce at the grocery, and
then entered the dry goods store
She made few triAing purchases of thread
pins, needles, and such things, and then call
ed for two knots of yarn.
"That won't be enough, Mary" said the
man, plucking at her dress.
II guess know what I'm buyin'," she re-
torted.
"But faint more'n half what you've had
afore." he persisted.
"Wall, that's none O. your business; these
socks are goin' to be for me, and if / want 'em
short. I'll have 'em short; you can have
you'rn come way up to your neck if you want
to-"
The old man bowed to the inevitable with
long sigh, as his partner turned to the clerk
and said:
1.-TWO yards of cheap shirtin,' if you please. y
"That amt enough, Mary" said the old
man, plucking at her dress again.
eyes, tbs"
"No, faint"
"Wall, it's all you'll get," she snapped.
"Put it up then, mister" said he, turning to
the clerk "put it up and we won't have any. %
"Who's doin,' this buyin' l should like to
know ?' Kissed the woman. -
"You are. Mary, you are" he admitted
"but you can't palm off no short shirts on me. "
"You act like fool, John Spinner"
"Mebbe I do, Mary, but I'll be burned to
gosh if I'll have half a shirt-no, not if I 60
naked"
"Wall, say that two yards is enough to
make any one two shirts,' she snapped.
"Mebbe that's enough for you, Mary" he
said, very quietly; "p'raps you can git along
with collar button and neck band, but
that amt me; and don't propose to freeze my
legs to save eight cents.
"Git what you want then !" she shrieked
pushing him over stool; "git ten yards, git
hull piece, git dozen pieces if you want
'em, but remember that I'll make you sick
for this"
-Four yards, if you please, mister-four
yards said he to the clerk land just remem.
ber," he continued, "if you hear of 'em findin'
me with my head busted, friz to death in a
snow drift, jest remember that you heard her
say she'd make me sick"
And grasping the bundles. he followed his
better half, out the door.-Futon Times.
>>------
A SCENE IN THE SHER1FF's OFF1oE.-A
newly elected sheriff was sitting in his Office
sad-eyed and haggard. He held in his hand
stack of manuscript representing the appli-
cations for eight hundred and seventy-nine
candidates for positions of deputy sheriff, each
one of whom said he had worked for him at
the polls, and had gained him all the way up
from two hundred to one thousand votes from
their personal friends who did not vote the
Democratic ticket.
A man attired in blue shirt, with paper
collar and red nose, entered the Office, and,
grasping the hand of the tired official, greeted
him cordially. "Ah, Mr.. Sheriff, but it's
glad am to see you looking so hearty; don't
you know me?"
II don't think do" remarked the official,
"although there is something in your face that
is familiar to me?'
"Ah, Mr.. Sheriff, thought you'd know
me- l worked for you all day election day,
and got you one thousand votes. and come
for that place"
"Well, am sorry to say that I have al
ready promised all the places at my disposal." ="
"Oh, give me place; I don't care what it
is"
"Oh, by the BY" said the sheriff, with a
malicious grin in his eye, "there is a place,
but it is not worth much, and I don't think
you'd take it."
"Ah, Mr. Sheriff, I'll take anything I don't
care what kind of place it is. Tell me what
it is, and I'll jump at it with my coat off,
GAIL right" said the sheriff; "there is a
Chinaman going to be hanged at the Jail
next month, and he wants somebody to take
his place. I think it will suit you"
The man with the red nose ceased to smile,
and asking the sheriff for quarter to pay for
his lodging that night, he left the Office and
mingled with the throng of would-be deputy
sheriE on the outside.-San Francisco Call.
OUT OF HIS JURIsDICTIoN.-Am man with
sad, depressed look and black alpaca coat,
and carrying an umbrella that looked as if it
was subject to fits, stepped into lawyers Of
fee one day last week, and inquired, "Do
you attend to all kinds of law business ?" He
was told by the lawyer he did. make afhi-
davits and administer oaths?' "Certainly." J."
"Well," said he, opening his wallet and taking
lo11, Til tbo 70