Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-04-07
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

WHAT keeps Lent longest and best. An
umbrella.
To MANAGE men one ought to have Q
sharp mind in velvet sheath.
THE fastest parasol.handle contains a
powder-puff and small mirror
A PERSIAN proverb says: "There are
only two days for which to feel anxious.
One that is past, and the other is the day
to come"
A WOMAN at Denver knocked United
States official down with chair, and her
neighbors are all glad that she let charity
begin where 1t did.
THE proper caricature for the new bon.
nets, according TO Jennie June, is a wide
fiowerpot, with a fountain casting up
spray in the middle.
IAN Omaha man has trained buffalo
so that he rides him all around.-TSt.
Louis paper If he wants a buffalo to
ride him around no outsider should com.
plain.
YOUNG ladies who expect callers should
look out who they send to the door. A
Savannah belle didn't look out, and her
William concluded TO take the servant
girl instead of the belle
VERMONT is going to put stop to the
frequent change Of school books by en-
ploying teachers who can't he bribed by
agents." 1t will be an interesting thing
to watch. .--L'etroH Free Press.
A CONNECTICUT grocer died the other
day, but before he closed his eyes he adj
mitted to having pair of scales weighing
fifteen ounces To the pound He didn't
want his soul weighed on them.
POTTER VALLEY, Mendocino County,
CAL, has female physician. During a
recent storm she swan three rivers to get
to a case of measles, and when she reached
the house tainted away at the sight of an
awful mouse.
ANSWER to a Bookkeeper: If John
Smith agrees to pay 81 900 on demand
and pays 500 at the end of one year at
the end of two years, if the demand is
made, he will owe $1,100. Partial pay
ments apply first on accrued interest,"
Chicago Tribune
TIE season is already coming over the
hill, when a modest man who prefers the
quiet of private life is so persistently i'm
portuned by his "many friends from all
parts of the district" that he is forced to
abandon home and friends to announce
himself a candidate for office.
"AND this is the very room," said a
country cousin, on being taken into
Faneuil hall the other day, " in which
our forefathers met to unite against
tyranny" "That sounds WE'LL" said her
city relative, rather bored with sightsee.
ing, " but the fact is, this hall was built
in 1908"
EMILY FAITHFUL says, in Women and
Work We like unladylike girls. We
dislike to hear a chit of ten or eleven
praised for being such ladylike little
girl We would far rather hear the COM
plaint Mary is so boisterous; she never
comes down the stairs, but always down
the banisters; she tears about like a
mad thing, and is never so happy as when
she is after some lark, as she calls itr"
DEAR, deari who broke my fayoriie egg
Cried Biddy Bantam to her daughter;
Some lazy cur; too proud to beg,
Has mashed it-and he hadn't ought ter"
The child gave one pathetic craw,
Her rueful tears begnn to thicken;
She sobhed aloud: :" broke it NAL
This little person is my chicken.
Some albumen and lime I'll buy
And make another one to match t.;
Oma! cannot tell lie
did it with my little hatch it,
~ Y. Graphic.
A PERIPATETIC "medicine man" in
New Jersey is curing blindness, or pro-
Tossing to do so, by fastening a wire tight
ly around the neck of the patient This
certain length of time, before the eXpira.
tion of which the doctor" hies him to
fresh fields, leaving his dupes to discover
that they are such at their leisure. He is
supposed to be the same individual who
formerly Travelled selling tin helmets to be
worn as cure for deafness.
TICE comes to the surface again. He
doesn't prognosticate that shower ofspare-
ribs, but he lays down the postulate that
storms run in spirals, and that 1.-THE bor-
eal pole will hurl an electric current
around it in definite direction, and the
austral pole in the opposite direction"
Tice may as we'll understand that this sort
of thing will not do. The sort of weather
they have in Austria is of no consequence
here. What we want to know is when the
local corkscrew is going TO uncork the
stormy. Y. Graphic.
THE Brooklyn argus, bribed by Chica
go gold Uraised on second mortgage), has
gone over to the enemy and Joined the
ranks of those who prate of st. Louis
feet. Here is its first essay; "Prof.
Proctor is astonishing the St. Louisans
by his long daily walks. People there
mostly ride. When fashionable young
lady ventures out on shopping excur-
sion it's a common thing to hear her
negress attendant remark: Done tire
yorese'f, honey, totin' dem foots o. yore's
too fur. .'"-St Louis Republican.
AN old Mussulman tradition tells us
very sweetly why animals are dumb.
Acting under Gabriel's directions Adam
set to work with plow ana a yoke of
oxen to till the ground. The plow struck
rock, and Adam in his impatience
smote one of the oxen. The beast at once
turned its head and asked, Wherefore
hast thou smitten meS" Adam replied,
Because thou dost not draw the plow."
adam" quoth the OK, "when thou
vast rebellous did God smite thee them"
The Almighty then withdrew from beasts
the power of speech, lest they should cast
their sin in the teeth of men.
THE idaho World tells a story that
seems almost incredible. One evening
two years ago party of ten of the promi.
nent citizens of Idaho gave reception at
Boise City. Now not one is living, all
having met with violent deaths. One was
killed by an insane man, another preferred
laudanum to political disgrace, another
blew his brains out with pistol ball, one
was murdered and his body concealed
among the rocks, one fell down a mine
shaft 600 feet and was dashed to pieces,
another was assassinated while walking
along the street, one fell out of a wagon
and received fatal injuries about the head
one was killed in Washington Territory,
and the last of the ten was scalped by In
dians in Eastern Idaho.
Plant n Centennial Tree.