The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-02-17
Wit and HumOr.

The esprit of Crooked whisky.
CARvERs of their own fortunes
Butchers.
WHEN man revolves much in his
mind does it make him dizzy?
"WHIcH is the entrance out2" asked
a man at a railway station the other day.
The hens of France earn $4,000 a
year for their owners. Hens the proverb,
Hensome is as hensome does"
'fTHE social element in business af-
fairs, " is the pleasant way in which the
editor aIudes to the female drummer
question.
If you were to ask old Father Time
how he felt, he would undoubtedly an
swer, "Sew-sew." So many persons
/" take stitch in Time, you know.
THERE is nothing like going to bed.
In sleep all the cares and vexations of
fashionable life are forgotten, and indi-
viduals lie calmly down, regardless of
what they have on.
The Doylestown (Pa.) Iaatelligencer
has just lost subscriber for rather
novel reason. The individual had just
bought Bible, and he guessed he'd
have about as much new reading matter
as he could attend to.
A RAPTURED writer inquiries: "Wha'
is there under heaven more humanizing
or, if we may use the term, more angel
izing, than fine black eye in Lowell,
woman ?" Two black eyes is the onl,
answer thought of at present
TIE owner of pair of bright eye
assures us that the prettiest compliment
she ever received came from child of
years. The little fellow, after Iookin
intently at her for moment, inquire,
naiyely, "Are your eyes new ones?"
"PA, will YOU get me pair of skate,
if / prove to you that a dog has tej
tails ?" eyes, my son." "Well, t.
begin, one dog has one more tail thai
no dog hasn't he 2" eyes," "Well, III
dog has nine tails; and if one dog ha
one more tail than no dog, then one dog
must have ten tails 2" He got tn
skates.
M ANEUvERING mamma (anxious tina
her daughters chief attraction SHOULD
not escape the notice of the very eligibl'
young man who is taking r-th
daughter down to supper -" Maria
Maria!" Maria" Yes, mamma !" Ma
neuvering mamma Gin loud Whisper
Take your eyelashes out of tangle
darling Punch.
SERVANT" Somebody wants to Sc
you, sir" Master Ga ''shoddy," givine
his first swell dinner)-" % is hit?
Servant" Don't know, SIR" Master
"Well, well; but what's e like-is e {
gentleman 2" Servant (who has evi
IDENTIFY been " tasting p" No-o-o-o, sir
not exactly gentleman, sir-just some
thing like yourself London Fun
A MORMON youth who had removes
from Iowa to Utah, whom travele
found tending sheep, said s' I come fror
Ioway two years ago. Pap told us al
Zion. Well this is the cussedest ole
Zion I want to see. I'd ruther have one
foot of land in Ioway than all these
mountaings of the Lord, an I guess the
Lord would too, if he'd ever seen
Ioway."
A GENTLEMAN on visit to Washington
very coolly opened the Senate Chamber
door, and was about to pass in, when
the dt orkeeper asked, "Are you priv
legged member?" "What do you mean
BY that?" asked the stranger. The re-
ply was, GA Governor, an ex-member
of Congress, or foreign minister The
stranger replied that he was minister.
g From what court or country T. asked
the official. Very gravely pointing up,
g From Heaven, sir. To this the door
keeper bluntly remarked, Nothing to
do with this place. Go away"
ONE of the colored residents of Detroit
was yesterday asked why he did not at
tend the poultry show. A glad smile
crossed his face as the word "poultry"
was spoken, but died away in 3 moment
as the stern reality confronted him.
" Dere's heaps O. chickens dere, hain't
dey?" he asked. eyes" "But dey
are all In cages, hain't dey2" Eyes"
g And you want me to go dere and stand
around and gaze on dose chickens
which can't come out of dose cages, do
vow? No, sab. I knows jess how I'd
fool sol, ~ Detroit E5rce Press