davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01
ODE TO SPRING.
Indited under the acrid prOmptngs Of "a dawfui cold
BY RADIX.

o, balmy, bright, and beauteous Spring
Once more thOu'st slain the frosty king;
Once more new life to earth dost bring
Thy praises joyfully we sing.
Thy smile reflects the heaven fair.
Thy gentle breath subdues the air.
That soft-atchee : ugh-ugh-0, pshaw (!
What miserable balderdash;
1t ought to be against the law
To write or print such lying trash.
It's but superstition old.
To which we all absurdly cling.
That's kept the truth from being told
About this arrant humbug, Spring.
But now I've got frightful cold;
My nose is stopped-my ears they ring.
BY this same 'balmy" I've been sold,
And now I'll just show up the thing.
So in the first and foremost place,
I'd give you all to understand
Spring wears no smiling maiden's face,
And swings no fragrant blossOmy wand.
aThe truth is this: The hard old case
Whose sloppy presence fills the land,
Is weak old Winter, slow Of pace,
Hobbling northward, cane in hand
Snarling and sniveling all the way
Because he's not allowed to stay.
No more the firm and manly tread,
The keen and frosty breath-no more !;
Gone from the bald and trembling head
Is now the crown the monarch wore.
And yet, the old chap hangs around,
For much he hates to lose his power
He fain would hold the earth still bound,
And spiteful nips each opening flower.
But all his rage to Taught avails,
For soon, at best, he must be gone
The Summer calls from southern wales,
And so the old boys hustled on.
But when he finds he's got to 60,
His sceptre broke, himself outlawed,
He does kick up fearful row
This superannuated fraud
And drules and drivels high and low,
Till we are drowned in slush and mud
But one thing more important yet
About our friend must still be said,
He prays upon the alphabet
And thence abstracts both 'eb' and ed. ;
The which in trying to reclaim
All humankind that wear nose
Though none Of them the others blame
Ten times a minute come to blows
It's shamfully too bad, l say,
To worship such an old sardine;
And so I've pulled the mask away
To let his real shape be seen.
For which all give three cheers for me
Hip, hip-Atcheel AToHEE ATCHEE
And thus it is thy praise l sing,
o, wheezy. breezy. sneezy Spring
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01


PRESIDENT GRANTS POsITIoN.-As
the canvass for the Presidency grows
more earnest it is becoming quite COM
mon for the friends of candidates to try
to gain some advantage for their favor
ite by claiming that be is preferred by
President Grant, or that the Administra
ton will exert its influence In his be-
half. The most persistent story Of this
kind has been that the President is in
favor of the nomination of Senator Conk-
ling. and that the power of the Admin
istration will be used to further his am
bition Now. there is net word OF
truth in any of these statements that the
President is for any one against Mr..
Morton, or any other recognized kepub-
lican who may seek the nomination. The
Presidents position is correctly stated
BY saving that between candidates rec
ognized as Republicans he viii remain
entirely neutral. using neither his per
sonal influence nor the patronage Of tE'
Government for the assistance or agains
the success Of any one Of them This
fact which cannot be successfully dis
puted in regard to the past. and ther
Is the best reason to believe that th
purpose which has heretofore guided WI
continue 70 the end Of tie canvass.
Washington, April l6.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

Testing THE SEX OF E0Gs.-ln Sc
lecting eggs 70 sit, choose the medium
sized ones, with blunt ends. and you
will generally get three pullets 70 one
rooster. as the Eggs with one end small
and pointed produce The most cocks.
When a hen has set ten days the eggs
should be tested as 70 vitality. Hold
them up 10 the sun. with your hand en-
eircling them. and all added ones will
allow the light to reflect through them.
while the good ones win appear dark.
| This often allows the eggs Of two hens,
set at the same time. 70 be put together
when enough are found 10 be added
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

with me. know the gal he's pasty'
on. I'll shew 'em to her, and tell her
all about the mean eritter Perhaps
he'll lie to me some more-the freckled-
faced, bow-legged little mud sill !"
And he united the old mare, and Jog
ged off to Sherborn.-NatioE Mass
Bulletin.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01


THE PLAGUE.-This dreadful disease,
which for centuries was the scourge of
the East, depopulating cities and deci-
mating countries, has again made its ap-
pearanee in Central Asia, the birthplace
of this and of almost every like scourge
that has spread over the world. At Bag
dad it is reported as existing in a fatal
form, though not so destructively as in
many former years and SO little precau-
ton is taken in the East in regard to
such diseases, there is reason to fear that
it may travel westward with caravans,
and by other means. The time was
AVOID the Visitation: Isl fRss ldocthAe 5r
fatalism was so controlling in its power
over all classes of Mohammedans, that
the Turkish authorities suffered the
plague to come without resorting to any
means to prevent its introduction, and
without attempting to mitigate its sever
ity. "What Allah wills must be, was
their only creed. and their practice cor
responded with it. But, of late, more
rational counsels have prevailed at the
Turkish capital and other cities and,
as consequence, for many years the
plague has not visited the Eastern shores
of the Mediterranean.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

Good and bad men are each less so
than they seem. d.
Don't swap with your reloaoan af-
vises Josh Billings) unloss End of the
ford to give them the
trade. whv nv mopstacbe
Fresh.-"l woF my nose as well as
doesn't grow u my mouth ?" Soph.-
at the eornshade."
100 Gee Beecher if l bHst," she said,
che way she went through that Berk-
Ljy street crowd made the buttons fairly
rain onto the pavement.
Mr.. Barnum. in a temperance ad-
dress, once said that he would give more
for drunkard who succeeded in business,
as a public curiosity, than for anything
he ever exhibited.
An old author quantity remarks -
"Avoid arguments with ladies: In spin
ming yarns among silks and satins, a
man is sure to be worsted and twisted !;
and when a man is worsted and twisted
he may consider himself wound up"
Editors have discovered by long and
careful observation that the best way to
save a mans life, when he is sick, is to
expend a good deal of labor in the prep
aration Of an elaborate biographical
sketch, to be used in case Of death. The
victim always gets well.
The king Of Burmah is to have a
journal. He will be the proprietor
himself, and in the prospectus he say;
that all his subjects who do not subscribe
will be instantly killed. His induce
ments are even more powerful than
gift chrome.
A little boy. when picking the drum
stick of chicken, swallowed one Of th'
tendons which are so numerous IN tn,
legs of a fowl, and was very nearl,
choked. The tendon was, however
extracted with great difficulty from tn
little fellows throat. when he exclaimed
20, mamma, it wasn't the chickabiddy
fault; it was because cook forgot to tax
off its garters y
Have you mailed that letter l CAV
you yesterday morning, my dear p san
Mrs. Younghusband, last evening, as sh
handed her mate his cup Of tea. "Wel
no" said Mr. Y. H., I'll can't say hay
mailed it yet. but Ire made all the pr,
Lminayy arrangements. He was mad
to surrender up the letter forthwith. an
FIVE minutes later Bridget complete
the arrangements" by dropping it I'M
the post-box on the corner.
A few years ago the States attOrnt
. of a northern county In Vermont a
though a man Of great ability, was vel
fond of the bottle. On one occasion {
important criminal case was called on
the clerk, but the attorney, with oW
like gravity. kept his chair. "Mr. A
torney. is the State ready to proceed
said the Judge "Yes-hic-no-yo
> Honor" stammered the lawyer; IT
State is not-in state to try this ca
today; this State. your Honor, IS
drunk y
Senator Hamlin continues to recei
the fond attentions Of the newspape
The Utica Observer has embalmed
= postage views in verse, which will
i. liable to live good deal longer tn
T. any recollection Of the Senator's stat
iir manship. "As near as We can get
Of Hamlin's idea Of a schedule Of pos
St charges" says the editor, ''he wo1
= have-a one-cent stamp for circuls
a two-cent stamp for a lettiar, I
nd cent stamp for q Dewspapiar. and
II great big frank for the Senatalr
Hump, Hamlin rip and tear Go
the friendless newspapiar y
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

There must have been a fearful
slaughter Of the Innocents" At Montre-
al. from the accounts We have received.
AT a meeting Of the Board Of Health in
that city. on Friday last, called TO con
sider the subject Of baby farming" it
was stated that out Of 7I0 babies re-
ceiyed at the Gray Nun Hospital. last
year. only Ss survived. Itappean that
42l Of the illegitimate children belong
ed to Montreal, and that AZ wers sent
from the United States.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

A dispatch from Rome, Of the 18th.
says: Negotiations between Spain and
the Vatican have been suspended. The
Spanish Government has announced that
it will accept the COncordat Of 1857,
except the clause decreeiDg religious
unity. Spain will await fresh proposals
from the Vatican before resuming nego-
tiations. 1t is announced that the Pope
has written an autograph letter to King
AlphonsO. reminding him of his prOmis-
es to maintain religious unity and the
Concordat. The Pope encouraged the
Carlists in their revolt, hoping to make
Don Carlos tool. He ought to eat his
fruit now without complaining. even
though it be bitter.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

The Rutland Globe says; with the
Free Press. we think that Vice Presi-
dent viii be selected, not with view Of
carrying Vermont-anY good ticket will
do that-but to strengthen the ticket
in some doubtful state or states This
is just what we believe the nomination
of Judge Poland would do. His reputa-
ton is national he would be strong at
the north and what other nomination
would do 50 much toward carrying Ar.
kansas. South Carolina, Louisiana. Mis-
sissippi and Alabama ?"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

HE never spoke to me but twice"
said an ex-clerk of A. T. Stewart. "once
/ tore piece of wrapping paper rough
ly across, and he came around to tell me
| should have folded it, and made even
edges. People" he said, didn't like
to get shiftless looking bundles" Again.
| wound bundle around with an extra
turn of string, and before I could cut it
be had the bundle out of my hand and
unwound the unnecessary turn. "Neyer
waste even piece of string" be said
"waste is always wrong"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

A WIPE's PowER.-A good wife is TO
a man wisdom, strength and coursge; a
bad one is confusion, weakness and de-
spair. No condition is hopeless to a man
where the wife possesses hrmness. decis-
ion and economy. There is no outward
propriety which can eounteraet indoleDee,
extravaganee and folly at home No
spirit can long endure bad influence.
Man is strong. but his heart Is not ada
mant. He needs tranquil home. and
especially if be Is an intelligent man.
with a whole head. he needs It's mora
force 10 the conflict Of life. To recogeI
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01
HERDS GRASS SEED
AT HALLS.
Hemingway's History
VERMONT!

The subscriber having taken the agency the sale
~ Orleans County Of HEMTNGwAY's HISTORICAL
sAzErTEER OF VERMONT complete in four vol
--'' embracing history Of each Town civil Mil
'-fs' Eeelesassieal and BIOgrAphicAl). from their
ois'nraiou on the present time-tbe only History Of
''Honi ~ complete. II being Vermont book. cost
- vast amount Of lab0r and money. and 90 10"
~ aeeordng 70 the amount Of work bestowed upon
4aai All ought V avail themselves Of a copy
'Aleei " b. In each town during this Spring and
lsi and Win b pleased 70 take your orders. or Il
'ne wishes the work before call please address
4. N. sIMONDs.
Glover. Fr.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

wheu a man detects missing button
after getting on a clean shirt no one in
the house il aware Of the fact. He takes
Of biz shirt and puts on another. quietly
sailing all the while. He never. never
speaks Of II % . sonl.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

FoE CRouP.-Take knife or crater.
and CRATE or shave IN small particles
about teAspoOnful Of alum mix il
with about twice its quantity Of sugar,
10 make il palatable, and administer il
as quickly az possible. la effects will
be truly magical. as almost instantAne-
ons relief will be afforded
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

WARNING TO GIRLS AND PARENTS
"The Women's Christian Association Of
Philadelphia desires to call your atten-
tion to base letter directed to young
girls, which has been circulated broad
cast through the country. 1t purports
to come from firm protesting to be
"Agents for the Centennial Committee"
and offers remunerative situations in the
Centennial Exhibition, besides expenses
paid, and wages in advance. Girls are
advised not to consult their parents, but
to come without their knowledge. We
are assured that there is no such firm
connected with the Centennial Commits
sion, and the circular is, in reality, only
a vile scheme to entrap the innocent in
to ruin. We appeal to you, then. by all
your sacred responsibilities as parents,
guardians, or editors, to do your utmost
to counteract this nefarious plan, by ex-
posure and warning. We entreat you to
disseminate knowledge of these facts
as extensively as possible, that the un-
wary may have their minds opened to
this impending evil. and, by Gods
grace, be preserved from the net spread
to entrap them"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01
HOT PUDDING.

The students in one of the colleges
being constantly annoyed by the noctur-
nal and inquisitOrial visits of profess
or, who suspected them of playing cards,
one evening prepared kettle of mush
otherwise called "hasty pudding
and by the time it was boiled. had seat
ed themselves around the table in the
attitude of card playing, waiting patient
ly for the well known footsteps of the
professor. 1t was no sooner heard than
a large outside pocket of one Of them
was filed with hot hasty pudding. and
all were seated as before. AS soon as
the professor had opened the door. the
student who was loaded with the mush
made sudden sweep over the table
with his hand. as if to gather up the
cards. and. with another motion, appar-
emily put them in his pocket containing
the mush. These movements could not
help being nOticed-as they were intend
ed to be-by the professor, who, cOnsid-
eriIg then as pretty strong evidence
of guilt, broke out with the following:
"Well, young gentlemen I've caught
you at it at last, have -"
"Why, yes, sir We are all here"
80 see you are! And you have
been playing cards, too u
"No, sir ; it's not SO %
at isn't, ha? What have yeu got in
your pocket, young man 2"
"Hot hasty pudding. sir"
"Hot hasty pudding, ha Hasty pud-
ding, have you? I'll hasty pudding
you P' said the professor, at the same
time thrusting his hand, halfway to the
elbow, in the hot hasty pudding.
The dolorous looks, shaking of fingers,
the groanings and capers of the profess
or, are better imagined than described.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

his compOsure, home must be place of
peace and comfort There his soul re-
news its strength, and goes forth with
new vigor to encounter the labor and
trouble of life. But if at home he finds
no rest. and there is met with bad tenn
per, jealousy and gloom, or assailed with
complaint and censure, hope vsnishes,
and he sinks into despair.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

We take pleasure in informing
you that we are now receiving New
and Elegant Styles of Spring Goods
and invite an inspection Of our
stock.
Barton, April lst, 1875.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

c. A. ROBINSON a CO.,
DEALERs IN CHOICE BRANDS or FLOUR
II Depot Store.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

Al. CUTLER.
MILLINERY. DREssMAKING AND PATTERN
vi Rooms.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01
B USINESS DIRECTORY.
BARTON.

WI. ROBINSON,
TTORNEY AT LAW.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-01

y. y. DUTTON,
SUCCESSOR TO wM JOsLYE a SONS. DEALER
- Ia Drugs. Medicines, Dye Stufis Paints, Oils, JAP
an Turpentine. Varushes, Brushes Window Glass,
Putty Books stationery and Fancy Goods.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-07-15

own machine" That is right But in
some matters there il immense advan-
tage in association; and that is why the
farmer becomes member of the order,
we suppose But he may nullify allthe
expected good, by persisting in assert
ing his individual action, when assoclat-
ed action would be great gain. Inc
manufacturer who makes propositions
to furnish Patrons his machines at hity
per cent. discount, must and snou,u
hold himself morally bound TO exactly
fulfil, that undertaking. But there are
two parties to this agreement ana Is
not the other party also morally bound
bv the terms of agreement Indeed on
the mart of the Patron the obligations Is
one of honor ard morals only, and hence
fbe sense of obligation should, if any
thing, be higher and more exactlng.
Moreover, all these considerations could
be urged as a matter of policy to con-
centrate your trade into Grange chan
nels, and TO act as an organized unit.
The vast advantages already derived
from your organization prove this, aud
it is only necessary that the order act
as a unit, and hold good faith with
dealer and manufacture, to insure still
greater and broader advantages. AT
least so thinks.
A MANUFACTURER.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-07-15
n E w q D u - 5 !
CHEAPER THAN EVER.

lust returned with another FRESH
y supply of Goods embracing a much
larger variety than my former stock, con-
sisting of White Goods of all classes,
Lawns, PopliDs, Percals, Black Alpacas ;
also a large assortment of Kid Gloves,
Hamburg Edgings, Insertings, Rufus, La
dies Scarfs and Ties, Fans OF all deScrip-
lions and Parasols.
Standard Prints 5, 6, Z, s cents; Brown
and Bleached Muslins to Il cents; One
Button Kid Glove (gcnuine) 80 cents
Black and colored two Button Kid Gloves.
(genuine) 10 cents, also White and Opera
Kid Gloves.
Ladies Lasting Button Boots $500 to
800 Ladies' Fox Button Boots 81 90 to- 1928,
Ladies Lasting Lace Boots $l.21 to:2.OO
Ladies' Slippers, Kid, Is cts. to 80 Ladies
Morocco Boots $3.50 to 300; Misses, Chill
drens, Men and Boys, all kinds, cheap.
Large assortment OF READ MADE
CLOTHING, cheap.
NOTIONS of all kinds, cheap!
Groceries of all kinds ut bottom figures.
Canton Syrup 35 cts. per gallon; Rio Cof-
fee % cts. per pound Best quality of Gun
Powder Tea 81. 90 per pound best quality
of Hyson Tea 10 cts. per pound; best qua!-
ltE Oh Imperial ica Ti.uo poi Pou'h. - .
Fine assortment of STRAW and WOOL
HATS, and all other goods mostly kept in
a tirst-class country store.
Farmers ard all, look to your interest
and give me a call before purchasing your
HARVEST GOODS, at the corner of Prin-
cess and German streets, Harris's old
Stand.
Highest price paid for all kind Of COUN-
TRY PRODUCE i'm exchange for goods.
WIN. X. BURCII.
LLEwELLYN Brown, Salesman.
June 10, 1876. If
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-07-15
D. W. TIMBERLAKE,
MARTINSBURG, w. VA,

MARTINSBURG, w. VA,
OESIRES toinform the people Of Jefier-
son County that he is selling Dry Goods
Carpets, Oil Cloths, Notions, &C., cheaper
than any other house In Martinsburg, and
i'm addition to this will give you 4 dis
count of per cent on all cash purchases
of s. and upwards, OH presentation ofour
following "price lists
Good Brown and Bleached Muslins )
cents; A do. IA cts. 1; Calicoes 8, q, rs,
cents; Dress Goods from 10 cents up;
White Pocket IIandkerchiefs II - cents
up; Swiss Muslins IL IL cents up; Best
Colored Cambricks cents; Drilling 10
cents; Kentucky Jeans II IL cents; Cling
hams Scents; Ticking Il IL cents; Crash
3 cents: Curtain Lace 20 cents; Ladies'
Corsets 40 cents; Handkerchiefs 3 cents;
Letter Paper 10 cents per quire; Enye-
lopes scents; Ladies' Stamped Skirts 80
cents; Ladies' and Gents Gauze Shirts 40
cents; Best Machine Thread 20 cents per
dozen, or cents apiece; Buttons cents
gross, and all other goods in tho same pro-
portion. Double width Alpacas p cents
and up.
A large assortment Of Cassimeres,
Cloths, Cottonades and Linens, for Mems
and Boys wear.
Please call and see us when yoR visit
our city.
ID. .TIMBERLAK T.. f..
May 20, 1876. II
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-07-15
FE,GROWTH, BEAUTY.
LONDON HAIR COLOR RESTORER.
LONDON HAIR COLOR REsToRER.

Not dye; makes harsh hair soft and
silky: cleanses the scalp from all impure
ties, causing the hair to grow where it
has fallen off or become thin.
Can be applied by the hand as it does
not stain the skin or soil the finest linen.
AS a Hair Dressing it is the most perfect
the world has ever produced. The hair is
renovated and strengthened, and natural
color restored without the application Of
mineral substances.
Since the introduction of this truly
valuable preparation into this country, it
has been the wonder and admiration of
all classes, and it has proved to be the
only article that will absolutely without
deception, restore gray hair TO its origin
al color, health, softness, lustre and beau
ty, and produce hair on bald heads of its
original growth and color.
This beautiful and fragrantly perfumed
article is complete within itself, no wash
ing or preparation before or after its use,
or accompaniment Of any kind being re-
quired to obtain these desirable results.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-07-15
State of West Virginia,
Jefferson County, Set. :
MAY TERM, 1876. COUNTY COURT,
9th DAY.)

Ara County Court continued and held
II for sad County, the
18TH DAY OF MAY, 1876.
Ordered that Charlestown, Middlcway
and Osborne Districts compose one assess
ment District of this County, to be known
and designated as Assessment District No.
|, and the other Districts, Potomac, Shop
herd, Bolivar and Harper's Ferry to COM
posethe other Assessment, to be known and
designated as Assessment District No. 2,
each Assessor to be paid $500 per annum.
Mother pay will be allowed either Asses
sor for any County services, except for as
sessing the Dog Tax.
A Copy-Teste.
Il. A. MOORE,
June 10, lS7G-tf. Clerk.