Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-12-13
HUMOROUS.

The MAN WITH THE BROoMs.-One OF
the old men who go from house to house
selling two shilling brooms Is very
fine old man, and he has odd streaks
running through him. He doesn't seek
TO enter the house by the front door,
but softly and quietly slides around to
the side door to greet the servant girl
NO broOms to-day she calls out as
she opens the door. r
sAh, my dear, but L have no DroOms
to sell. have a love letter for you.'
She pricks up her ears at that, swings
open the door, and he walks in and sits
down.
feels in his pockets for the letter. 'Ah,
1 now remember, the gentleman was
going to hand it to me, but decided to
mail it, fearing that l might deliver II
to the wrong lady,
'What sort of looking man?' she
asks.
'Ah, Katy dear, you rogue you. just
as If he wasn't perfect gent, with a
diamond pin, gold watch, lots of money
But you are worthy of him, my dear
worthy of any gent
Il don't know any such man., she
unused, but that old chap strikes in:
All, you beautiful deceiver. OF course
you will not let on to me, but know a
thing or two. He ought to be proud OF
you, for finer face is not in Detroit.
And such beautiful hair! and such rosy
lips! and such a form, Why, If you
were only an inch taller 1 should be-
lieve you are the Empress Eugenie!'
'Oh, go longv replied the pleasant
girl, trying hard to blush. If she Is
cross-eyed, stOop-shouldered. freckled-
faced and pug-nosed his flattery pleases
her all the more, and the firmer Is her
belief that he is telling nothing but the
truth.
No, don't care about selling these
brOoms,' he remarks, picking up the
dozen. "You are of course acquainted
with all the aristocratic families on
Fort street? To be sure you are. And
you must know all the incest folks on
Lafayette, Woodward and Jefferson
avenues. because they call here on your
aristOcratic MISTRESS
The girl won't commit herself, and
he goes on:
This forenoon, while l was selling a
dozen brooms to that high-toned Mrs.
-, on Woodward avenue, she asked
me as a great favor to call on your dear
missus, who is one of her warmest
friends. l said would. and with one
of her sweetest smiles she added; 'and
do not neglect to see that dear, darling
girl in the kitchen, whose beauty is
only equalled by her modesty and cul-
ture.'
oh. pshaw,' replies the girl, her
eyes sparkling like stars.
More than that she said, but have
not time to relate it. Icalled at her re-
quest, and here l am. You might see
the missus and bring her reply. My
dealings are entirely with the aristo-
cracy, and l shall be happy to put the
name of this family upon my book.
The girl goes in, represents the need
of new broOms in the strongest possible
light and sale is instantly affected.
And now, my darling,' says the old
man, as he is ready to depart, that love
letter will probably reach you to-day.
Ii doubtless contains a proposal of mar
riage. You will accept, diamond ring
will be forwarded, and your home and
fireside will fairly howl with joy for
ever more-good day.
After days of patient waiting for
'that letter. the girl slowly but GER
tainly concludes that the old man is a
horse thief and liar, and she stops try
ing TO look like the Empress Eugene
or any body else.