The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-09-02
BUDGET OF FUN.
The Exciting Adventure of a Clothes-Pih
Seller.
From the Canyon City (Col) Avalanche.l

From the Canyon City (Col) Avalanche
GLOW many tickets will it require to take
this outfit to a good circusg' asked man
with Grecian nose, long hair, dirty finger.
nails and diamond pin, yesterday morning,
before he had the compliments of the day OF
his smiling receptacle for four fried eggs and
baked potatoes.
The devil very civily handed him a chair, a
printer brought him the pitcher of lemonade,
the foreman gave him cigar, and we pro-
ceeded to enumerate the force
1.-TWO printers-two tickets apiece are four,
the devil is five, and yourself and wife are
seven-seven tickets sir" we said very re-
spectfuly, for he was the first man we ever
heard say anything about bringing a cicus to
Canyon City.
Eyes, sir. Speaking of your wife reminds
me that have here something that is needed
IN every family" he sal1. opening small
hand trunk, something that saves its cost
every year that 1t is used, and it Will last a
lifetlme.'
Don't bother yourself; we have one, and
It works like a cnarm," we begun. =.
"But, my dear sir, you don't know what II
is" truthiully suggested the agent.
"No ditference-we don't want ohe-we
don't need any-we haven't room tor ali the
patent dofunnles we get on advertising noW,'
the table, and was waiting for an opportunity
10 explain:
"Thls YOU see, is clothes line fastener.
Everybody has trouble fixing clothes lines,
and this supplies a want long felt. Usually IL
requires twelve minutes to put line INTO
shape, but with this contrlvance you nave
only to slide the line through this hole, press
upon that latch while the rope is stretched,
let 60 the latch, then the rope, and the task Is
completed in little less than two minutes
The loss Of
"Weve no doubt you have big thing"
we explained, but you see, we don't keep any
clothes llne-we hang clothes on the fence
and the goOseberry bushes. We can't afford
any of this high toned nonsense!"
"rhlnk,'' he insisted "of the loss in torn
clothes, and the saving in time. This saves
you ten minutes every week five hundred and
twenty minutes every year, and in tlity years
it will save you Just eighteen days-think OF
that At So day, you have S54 that this
fastener is actually worth to any man who ex-
poets to live his time out, and only charge
you 81, leaving you $50 clear gain-Just like
making you present of $780, he SAID frank
ly, did you ever see anything falrer than
that."
We certainly never had, so we made him a
proposition.
SoSto Pr
eyes, sir; $4.'
Actually worth $54' we continued.
every cent of it, sir; it's worth Sj4 to any
body, and if l had the exclusive right, l
wouldn't take cent less"
"Well, just consider that our fastener we
remal ked, turning to the agent; ITS worth
$54, but, seeing it's you, take it along for $40.
We owe you 81, and that leaves S36 coming
tous. Ifyou haven't the money with you,
you can send it by draft or Postoffice order, or
pay it in circus tlckets-we are not going to
be hard on you
The agent, after spending moment in pro,
found meditation, boxed his machine, and
said:
"How big town IS Rosiia" -.
By the time we had told him, he was half
way down stairs, but he sent back his thanks,
and told man on the sidewalk that he be-
lIeved that editor up stairs was born to stand
at the head of the infiaIionists of this country.