The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-03-09
ODDS AND ENDS.

WHEN a dealer asked lad, who came
with bucket and wanted three cents
worth of coal, why he didn't make it
five, the boy replied, "Dad never was
any hand for speculation"
CHIEF JUSTICE WHITE says: I'VE
had better look pelyganny in the face;;"
but as Brigham doesn't allow any man
to stare at his wives, the chief justice
will doubtless have his hands full.
An English word-artist is to give US
book on 1.-THE Mothers-in-Law of Great
Men," The first and only chapter will
be condensed into these words: Great
men never have any mothers-in-law."
PENNYRoyA1.
Heavy with cares 30 winnowiBg hand could sift,
Wrapt in sadness never to be told,
As Ger the fields and through the woods strolled,
Following with restless footstep but the drift
OF the still August morn, so might shift
The scenery Of my thoughts, and gid their old
Monotonous fringes with light less cold,
found the aromatic herb, whose swift
Associations bore ME far away
To boy hood, when beneath an oak Ike this
culed the fragrant leaves Crude childhood's bliss
Was in the scent; but brighter smiled the day
For memories now portion Of the soul,
Safe from all later change and fate's control
-C, P. Granch, In Atlantic.
THE way they weigh hogs in Kansas is
as follows They first tie the hog to one
end of rail, balance the rail on fence
with rocks tied to the other end, and
then guess how much the rocks weigh.
The daughters of plumbers and coal
dealers are not as much courted in soci-
ETY. as they have been in previous sea-
sons. The children of ice dealers, how
ever, are everywhere treated with marked
consideration.
A MAN that will swear at the pigs that
neglected to eat the acorn that grew the
tree from which came the refractory
piece OF oak he is vainly trying to split,
may be said to have gotten down to the
root of the thing.
The Shreveport Times lately spoke of
the Galveston Nesps as s'that usually
wild journal Usually mild " was the
expression intended by the unhappy
writer, but the type-setter had his own
ideas of things in Texas.
aBR1peEr," said O'Mulligan to his
wife, it's cowld We have. A drop of
the crathur 'ud do you no harrum."
Och hone, said Biddy," I've taken thu
pledge; but We can mix me drink,
Jenny, and force me to swally it"
WISDOM boiled down-Bad luck is
man with his hands in his pockets and
his pipe in his mouth, looking on to see
how It will Come out Good luck Il
man of pluck, with his sleeves rolled up
and working to make it come out right.
ALADY of Rockville, Conn, received
note the other day, asking if few
friends could have surprise party at
her house. She said yes, and tock up
her carpet and made ample preparations.
The evening came and passed with not
even caller. That's where the surprise
came in.
Won HUMBOLDT says: Every man,
however good he may be, has yet bet
ter man dwelling within him, which is
properly himself, but to whom, never
theless, he is often unfaithful. 1t is to
the interior and less mutable being that
we should attach ourselves, not the
changeable everyday man.
THE Boston Adc~tiser declares that it
| is absolutely necessary that, in order to
secure living profit, thetmerchants OF
this country must make reduction in
the ordinary cost of selling goods, and it
advises palmer quarters, fewer expensive
fixtures, and the abolition of the whole
system of commercial travellers. The
advice is excellent, but will the mer-
chants heed it?