The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-08
CREAMOF OUR EXCHANGES.

Jersey City printer on New Year had SHOW
case in front Of his Office door In which speci
mems OF the work done within were displayed
and over II. on card In large letters, was print
cd. "Hands off, On New Years night TIL
newsboys somewhat emphasized the import o
the card by making it read Hands Dion
drunk" 81 aye
Societies are being formed in New England
and New York for the protection Of birds, as
ward against the enormous increase OF noxious
worms and insects. Teeir motto should be:
bird in the bush Is worth two In hand or sports
mans game bag"
Ladies should never deed away their property
See what happened to this woman:
Mrs. Turner, OF Hampton, Ga, fell dead tne
other day while making deed TO some prop
erty. MFA a, ... s.. se. .
Now that La Sale comfy has palace LOT l's
nauners our LAWYERS, burglars and other thieves
want a new court house and jail. YES saiu
one Of them the other day, contemplating the
,resent noble structure, Yes, the architect Is
dad III should ever learn al architects trade
srd design such structure should expect toI
saIo.t in a wreck on the raging canawl. If II
had time. I should like to come down mere All
midnight when all around is STILL ana SIT Oh 'hcI
curb stone aud laugh, and sneer ana make races
and point the finger OF scorn at mat Ola cara
yansary." - .
Ress,e Turner. we are told, wants to write .po-
ems now. We are just little afraid thal this
country has poetry enough already; ous Dessle
ia the quality Of girl that has her own way--Eh'
Mr. Watterson's model Louisville Journal IN
onires. "Reader, did you ever visit Turkish
harem p, and he continues: ave had delicate
IL scented note from one Of the Kadyn, or ladies'
oftbe Imperial HareM at Constantinople" Ihats
all we want to know about you.
youth has. been found in southern Illinois
who though weighing but 1919 lbs, has feet that
rcouire No. 10 stogas; and the local paper ADDS:
ue has been engaged, at an immense salary,
nv couple of speculators to travel with them
t6ronphout the country. They intend to place
him an he'd in every place visited ana allow
those feet to protrude through an open WINDOW
while they mlnge with the ineSitaole rroma oil 81
bets as to his weight, Judging by the ieet as
played. Millions In It," ~
yhe current number Of Nature tells ola delud-
cd hen who Matched and reared peacock. AS
that mother-hen gazed upon the buduihe 'aii VI
her infant offspring, 1t must have occurred 10
her, in moments Of depression ana anxiety that
possibly she had the jim-Jams.
In one block In the western part oil DetFoir
saws the Free Press, there are eight ladies' VINO
won't 70 to church on Sunday because a hihlh
lady has an India shawl and they haven't. ana
the lady who has it won't go because there is no
chance for her to show of the shawl before the
eight whose feelings she well understands,
Ioosh Croker Mayor of Mendoza is i'm
mensely popular at home, and on Now Years
Day was the recipient Of numerous tokens OF
appreciation and esteem from his fellow citizens
Part OF the articles thus contributed are cata'
lopued by the Ne,cs as follows:
A bottle of lightning, large Goldfish, pack.
AGE of tobacco delivered by drayD pair OF
rowbidc boots, a little more lightning, q macker-
I'll trout and some fish, bologna sausage I'm
whistle n rocking horse bottle of milk, etc. lie
says the only thing lacking was httie mort W
bacco.
The widow of the late Patrick German MIXED
her cow Monday night, apparently In good
health, returned to the house and died almost IN
stantly-probably OF apoplexy.-h1.
And vet there are husbands so sanguinary as
10 insist on their wives milking the COW.
A young lady dropped her handkerchief in the
street last Saturday aud II blew close 10 the
dangerous end of mule. The young man VINO
nIcked IL up will not send her his photo Tor
lew DAYS, as he don't look well with his chin I'M
der his ear.-Lnorenee (Kan.) Standard
The Prince Of Wales 1t is said, will take back
with him from India to England the cheering re-
membrance Of having met Sir Jumsetee JeeJub-
hoy. Nothing makes man so cosmopolitan as
travel.
It's sad that President Grant, when being
told Of Blaine's lodging the third term rcsolu-
ton In the house, remarked spiteiully; blaine
needn't be SO damn careful. He don't stand In
anybody's way" Pretty good for Babcock's
friend.
man drove through the northern part oil Ill
nois lately in a wagon, bearing this Inscription,
Gong back to my wifes relations" He was
more homes; than proud, that's certain.
THIS mild. wet, spring-like winter weather
has rendered 1t necessary to place guard posts at
the crossing places Of unbridged sloughs In
Woodford county, to which the intelligent path
master has nailed u single with this strange de-
vice: ri THIS SLUE is CNPAs BULL.xt'
The Batavia Ne,cs man ckes out his existence
by selling his exchanges, and objects 10 recelv-
ing half sheets. We knew starving was com
meacing somewhere.-Aurord Beacon.
This, from the New York World is not had
"The continuance Of Babcock in his confidential
Office, in spite Of the criminal charges against
him, warrant the opinion that tho place to look
for Tweed is on the personal stat Of the Presi-
dent OF the United States"
Attention without intention" is the last and
best definition we have met with Of filtration.
cao,,;. colorad man has induced In kut
twenty minutes sleep for the past five years, and
the poultry in that neighborhood are In the same
fK
Milwaukee thought she had a case wherein
young girl died Of broken heart, but II turned
out that her corset strings were too tight and
one stroke Of a jacknife revived her.
The Board OF Supervisors Of 0gle county are