Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-02-02

aUH0soUA
VALUABLE ELKvAToR.-There Is
man In Jersey City who owns an eieva,
tor. The other night he was asleep. and
his wife was awake He dreamed and
uttered words In his sleep. She listened.
He said:
"Dear Ella, darling Ella, sweetest
Ella" :,
She would hear no more. She grabbed
him by the shoulder, shook him till he
awoke, and then shrieked:
''Who is dear Ella?"
s.who is dear what?" he asked, with
a surprised look.
'.The dear Ella you've been calling
darling and sweetest in your dreams.
''Oh, 1 suppose must have been
thinking of the dear elevator which has
cost me so much thought and trouble
for the past two months. It's all been
out-yO and no income with it,"
The wife subsidized. She may be fully
convinced that he was wholly truthful,
but she keeps q very suspicious eye on
him. He chuckles when he's alone and
says:
''By George. that elevator was lucky
thought. If she only knew!"
Then he chuckles a little more and
goes and elevates his elbows.
THAT JEwEL.-Detroit husbands and
wives sometimes-once in great many
vears-have disputes. The other dag
when Beech street couple were hold
ing an angry argument the husband
raised his hands aud exclaimed:
son! Consistency, thou art a jewel!"
The wife at once broke down, and as
she sobbed she gasped out:
"You saw her at the opera, l suppose,
bnt if she had tc split wood, wash dishes
and take care of six children she
wouldn't look any better'n 1 do-hoo"'
A pEJECTED-LOOKING hen stepped into
a downtown grocery one day last week
and asked the price of eggs. "Thirty-
five cents a dOzen," replied the store
keeper. The hen cast her eyes to
Heaven as she went back to her nest,
remarking, in a delightful tone: 'At
last hen has some incentive to doing
a full days work." and with this con-
soling thought she cackled over her
diurnal egg, grateful tor the fact that IL
was worth nearly three times as much
as postal card.
"HAvE you mailed that letter gave
you yesterday morning, my dear - said
Mrs. Young-husbaud, last evening, as
she handel her mate his cup OF tea.
swell, no." said Mr.. Y. H., 81 can't
say that 1 have mailed it yet, but IRE
made all the preliminary arrangements.
lie was made 10 SURRENDER up .ne iet.er
Iorthwith, anu nve minutes I,le,
Bridget completeu tne arrangements
oy dropping IL INTO the post ooA on tue
corner.
an anerture in the apex. and a cores
pondiny aperture at tue base; and, by
forcibly inbaliug the breath. the egg is
entirely discharged of its contents"
..Why. bless nv soul!" cried the old
lady. .wnat wonderful improvements
they do make. "Now, in nv younger
ana sucked. -Ner Ortedns Itn'es.
A TRAVELLER visiting cathedral was
shown by the sacristxn, among other
marvels, dirty, opaque glass phial.
After eyeing it some time, the traveller
said: "Do you call this relic! why,
sacristan, Indignantly. oir, IL contains
some OF the DARKNESS tnat MOSES spreao
over the land OF Egypt.
The literary color-Read. The news
boys color-Yeller. The undertaker's
color-Done. The color OF 4 hurricane
Ii. Britannia's cOlor-Sea-rule-1-On
The agricultural color-Reddish. Albert
Edwards color-Indisgo The color of
Slavonic dinner-Russ-e
INDIAN CORN in North Germany often
assumes pIace among household plants.
limited States IL becomes tropical only
under the name of Bourbon. and then
il warns a man up so that he feels as if
he were under the tropic of Capricorn.
,o,,.
hreadth This musr nrove a great con-
venice Tbrouyb th;. glass the nm
breIIs f;end can Sc, the ow1er approach
and have time to dodoe around q corner
and escapr his inrerroyatiny ylauces.
PsHAw! It's easy enough to put up
stove-pipe! All you have got TO do Is
10 put on your kid gloves, take up your
cane, aud leave word at the timers and
when he gets ready, and can't think OF
any other job, and doesn't want to go
A.
"A QOAhERrowN man mas so'Neu M y.
Liver mores query ~, haI shaii We
uo win our uaughlers ne mas pun pun
chaseu Two wasn'hg I'm nacii.nes is ga anu wi, viii
lahe IN Masulns ms ~ "me .,, anu "a 49, Sa
1 81 trn