The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-01-06
THE AFTERPIECE.
BY JOSH.

b1 JO6hs
Erni at his last appearance, dropped
the curtain aud put out the foot-Iights
before the play was over. Don't be in
such a hurry, mon cher annie, but ar
range the scenery for the afterpiece
which shall be like the Trishman's pota-
toe-short and sweet.
In his raids upon Josh Erni reminds
one of man who tends anothers land
one-half fer 'tother," with this differ
ence in favor of Erni; he runs his ma
chine Gan old harrow over Josh's crop,
growing in his own soil, and then claims,
well, all he mak3s. Let US hope that
Erni will clean and cultivate his own
patch. ifhe viii, be will surely win the
premium offered for the greatest yield of
cuckle-burs and crab-grass.
Erni ".was at loss how to classify"
my last article l am sorry for this, but
am not responsible for his inability to
name a "nameless child" l rejoice
that am not in such a dilemma in re-
gard to has late effort, nor need any one
else be, so long as misrepresen tations,
false reasoning, Irrelevant conclusions,
lodges, winces, and efforts to shift the
burden of proof, have a name. l am
forced TO use this periphrasis, for 1 do
not wish to shock the sensibilities of
any one by using the appropriate, but
slang term D." hard up"
Erni need not have fastened himself
to the tail of comet, nor have been di-
gested by a.thrashing machine, to con
vey an idea of his sensations upon
reading Josh's ar ticle. Just imagine
dear Erni, how you would feel what
your sensations would be, if you were
scalped and remember that you have
put " Josh on the war-path," AMI he is
not coming home without scalp.
Erni once spilled drop of pinetop
whisky accidentally upon his old bro
gan boots, and it raised blister on
them" Yes, it surely was an accident,
for never yet has drop been wasted
designedly by him, and if anything rails
ed blister on his old cowhide boots, 1t
was the scalding tears he shed over the
loss of that one, dear, drop. When he
found out that he was born and raised in
six different coun ties in the OLD North
State, " he began to feel most hearty
contempt for himself" Then, con.
tempt for himself" was one of his early
impressions, and they are generally cor.
rect, and cling to US through life. l hope
no one shares those early impressions
with Eini, in respect to himself
But Josh drew immensely upon his
imagination in regard to the village
ball. As this seems spoken in a nc
moro of that, Hal, an thou lov'st me-
tone, l will only say perhaps it is bet
ter thus, for truth is stranger than
fiction" This (Josh's) Imagination Is
as fertile as the soil that produced
JOnah's gourd" I accept with thanks
the Smile of the soil, but simple
Justice demands that 1 return the
gOurd to him whose head is its coun-
terpart.
Erni is pleased to commend the rem
dering of JOsh's part in the celebrated
"euchre act. This compliment so
gracefully turned, and happily timed,
hides multi tude of Ennis sins, and in
duces me to err on the side of mercy,
and infict a mere nominal punishment
Indeed 1 must forego the melancholy
pleasure 1 anticipated in scalping him,
and, as return, quite inadequate how
every leave him a complimentary lock
of hair by which some houris may pull
him into paradise. Au reUoir.