The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-06-17

70
Broke, broke, broke,
| have sQuandered the uttermost sou,
And have failed in my efforts to utter
One trivial, last !. D. l.
o well for the infant in arms,
That for ducats he need not fret;
o well for the placid corpse
That he's settled his final debt.
And dun after dun comes in,
Each bringing his little account
But o for the touch OF a five dollar bill,
Or a check for a anger amount!
Broke, broke, broke,
MY course as q student is run,
I'll away to my childhood's home and act
The role of the Prodigal Son.
-Haiqard Lampoon.
Does Wedron, Grand Ridge or Hickory Point
want Fourth Of July orator. We can supply
them. q few rising young lawyers in Ottawa
yet unengaged are pining to "orate" somewhere.
Better try one. Wen guarantee them to be not
above A. per cent worse than the average hand
organ.
Cuffs are too expensive for tally shects-she
uses now wall map Of the Holy Land.
How handy this silver is and how economical.
Sounds Just as loud as half dollar, you know.
when YOU drop a nicklc into the contribution
box.
IL is good to be patriotic-to let the soul flow
out in love Of country, liberty and the dear pc
ple"-doubtful votcrs-yet when one is hustled
out Of bed at 3 o'clock In the morning by the
sound of the martial" bass drum and villain
GUS fife, he has his doubts as to whether Wash.
and Ben and the rest were success after all.
She wrote to him in letter we found;
"The lips that touch mine
Shall never taste wine,'
and the very next day we heard him say If
whiskey contained so much headache and gen
eral cussedness hereafter, he'd have to fall back
on beer. He never did take any stock in wine
We used to think it would be blessed priv
lege to he a reporter-so mice" you know II
anyone had cigars Of course we would have q
carte Jlanche TO help ourselves, and ice cream
soda and cobblers would flow into our capacious
-" that's all right, nothing too good for you;
but somehow We have to pay for these thing
lamentably often. There is heavenly dream
busted" We had heard Of aye gentle type
fend" but we thought we could control him
Il is said that the veil OF futurty is woven by
!
patient toll trying TO overcome him be Is still
untamed, and none can appreciate our feelings
as We wait for the appearance OF that article
to know whether We are TO be counted a fool Of
an idiot or both. Oh, the slecpless nights, and
Oh, cramps, Oh, collie, oh, beer, key west, oh-oh
li37 stuffed clubs, oh Last Saturday we mod
estly suggested to him that by leaving out ont
word he had wiped out whole ward school IN
stead Of one room, and again had "chawcd up
business notice or two, but he didn't seem u
feel badly at all. No, he went of TO hunt th'
post office which he found in a basement, wher'
he INDUCED in liquid notes from his friends an'
gloated over his villainous deeds; while We
we'll our friends have not yet decided where u
send Us.
When it is finally decided That Charley Har
yey owns this town, We know Of host Of decen
men who are going 10 leave
\ young lady few days ago, 10 spite herfath
er who refused 20 huy her new dress drank
pint Of plain yeast. She has been frightfull
|, stuck up since, they say.