The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-12-07
from the San Antonio Herald. November 4.
A BABY SHOW IN TEXAS.
CHARACTERISTICS OF TIE YOUTHFUL CONF
PETrTORG

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE YOUTHFUL COM
PETIToRs.
The baby show took place yesterday after
noon at the Pagoda on the Fair Grounds, and
in the second story OF it, which, by the way,
reminds one Of the hurricane deck of a
steamboat. and tine number and the squalls
did not 90 far to dspei the illusion. In Or
der to encourage Mr.. Samuel Bennett, who
had provided the prize peratnbulator, about
nineteen babies had put in their appearance.
These said tables, in the goodness of their
hearts. had also brought their methers along.
and these ladies' certainly did take as much
interest in the show as the babies did them
selves. We suppose the babies brought their
mothers along to keep then, oat OF mischief.
Besides the battles and the young mothers,
there were quite a number Of latliss and gen.
tIemen who were not babies, and had moi
been babies for some time, who came because
they had once been babies, and wished tt
find out il the human race was not deterior
ating.
There were various styles of babies there.
There was the serene, contemplating baby,
that Quietly deyourcd the landscape With its
eyes. When that kind Of baby grows mp he
becomes heavy tax payer and accumulates
real estate. and is regarded, and justly too,
as highly respectable. Then there was the
disortlerly baby, that punches its mother in
the nose, and snatches everybody who comes
near it baldheaded and is dsortlerly as
cage full Of wildcats. In after-life that style
OF baby climbs the ladder Of fame as police
man or a desperate. There we noticed too,
the smiling baby. 1t made friends witt,
strangers twenty yards distant. It would
take an earthqu Ike to stop that style OF child
from growing. When that kind of child
grows up he becomes popular. and is elect
ed Justice of the Peace or United States Sell
ator, like Gov. Coke. Then, too, there was
the hungry baby that called for the bill of
fare. When that kind of child becomes fully
developed, mentally and physically, it be-
comes coutemplative, joins the ministry, and
becomes terror 20 spring chickens. There
were several other styles OF baby, but we
S'su UCNotc ~ MuCLl spdCt W Stilall Try. we
have not mentioned how the female babies
would turn out on account Of the uncertain
ty Ut the sex.
There was some difficulty in obtaining judg
es to pass OH the infants. Whenevera gen.
tleman was requested to act as judge he
was singularly unanimous in refusing to
bring down on himself the wrath OF the la
bies who might net get the perambula,or. AS
it was absolutely certain that there would
not be less than seventeen of those enraged
cherubs, we do not blame them so much,
after all. Besides, these ipsulted little cubs
have mothers, fathers and other relatives
No wonder there was a certain unwilingness
to i,itrude.
AT last five heroic men We're found to act
Us judges.
The mothers seated themselves in circle,
with their infants Oh their laps. the judges
made their rounds OIL trembling limbs, gazrd
fitenngly at each infant. and then with
blamche faces, consulted hnrrietlly together.
cast their ballots, looking over TIER shoulders
at che determined faces Of their mothers, land
then hurried down the stairs and ont Of the
pagoda, and are by this time doubtless safe in
some country that has no eXtradition treaty
with the United States. 1t was understood
that the awards would not be called until
the judges had ten minutes start.
We would like to make some extended sug-
gestions OH this subject, but space prohibits.
II we were one of the judges, no matter how
rounded the limbs OF all infant might be, no
matter how many dmples it sported on its
chin, it might smile like lady with new
set OF false teeth, and might be able to play
one of Beethoven's immortal symphonies ON
a piano besides, it would never get our vote
unless its father made affidavit that he had
never walked it about at night, and it was
regular and decorous in its behavior toward
all the members of the family. That is the
style of baby that ought to be encouraged.
THAT'S the kind Of baby that deserves per-
ambulators and mugs and kind words in the
papers. 1t may be red hair and speckled
complexion, but it is nevertheless the only
sly lie of baby that it is really well-springof
joy to its parents aud credit to the commu-
nifty.