The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-10-12
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

A SHEBOYGAN man visited Fulton
market yesterday and ordered "one of
them ister stews." A plate OF cold
slaw was put before him as an appe-
tizer, and be said, with great indigna-
ton, Waiter, do you call that stewP
-Nesc York Herald.
"How nicely they might shoot Indi-
ans" says the Rochester Democrat, re-
ferring to the rifle teams, "if they
chose" But the difficulty is the sense
less aborigines won't stand still while a
talented marksman measures of ex-
actly 500 yards and winds his legs
around gun-barrel.
A BooK-AGENT was shot and killed
one day last week in Texas. Here in
Iowa the only way book-agent can be
killed is by running freight train over
him, and the plan is so expensive that
book-agents generally live about as
long as other people. Occasionally,
when one comes straying into town,
with his legs thrust into a couple OF
lengths of stove-pipe, his body encased
in a beheaded flour barrel, and a copper
kettle inverted over his head, the peo-
pie know that he has been selling "Pha-
raoh's Lives of the Saints" in some in
hospitable country where the shotgun
but it excites no particular
remark.-Burlin9ton HGtck-eye.
THE other day in the Austrian art ex-
hibition in Memorial Hall, Philadelphia,
a gentleman was absorbed in the con-
of Felix's large painting,
sc Pan and Bacchante, "when two ladies
fl ON the country thrust themselves in
front of him. "Ohi Ohin exclaimed
one; s'whom can they beP" The other
answered: I" 1t must be Adam and Eve;
they're both so naked!" " Seems to
me it's hardly them," said the first,
g but I'll try and find it in the cata-
logue.n After good deal of search,
she discovered the number, and cried
out: "Why, it's a Pan and Batch
anti" al don't see any pam" re-
marked her companion, "and what IS
q atchant!" After pause of bewil-
1ei ment, the first said, as she turned
Nv ay: "The name don't seem to fit"
-Ne1o York Tribune.
A GOOD waiter nevCr betrays surprise,
40 matter what the circumstances un-
der which he may find himself, says the
Chicago Hotel World, but takes for his
the young man who was carv-
ng a goose when the bird bounded off
md into the lap of lady, whereupOn
he young man didn't blush or apollo
yize, but said: s'Ma'am, I'll trouble
7ou for that goose" At one of our big
hotels Yesterday guest said to the
q "a
-eine, some broiled salmon, rare roast
beef and no gravy, and all the vegeta-
)les." "Any entries, sah?" "Yes,
,ring me some protoplasm la manche
lie balai.n ''All right, sab, - and his
attendant fastened away, returning in
few moments with the dinner.
Here's yah Croton persoir ally MUNICH
lie bully, sab - and he gave the guest a
made dish of some kind or other. 1t
nay not have been the protoplasm, but
t was wholly outside of his power to
,rove that it wasn't, so he accepted 1t
thankfully, and didn't eat it.
A MAN entered the Chicago Tribune
'f1ice and left the following advertise
nent:
PERsoNAL.-The advertiser desires TO make
oOd looks, 3 feet ~ inches high, and weighing
bout 1856 pounds; bustmeasure, 80 inches waist
easure, 2sl4 inches; size of boot. 5l4 ditto OF
love, So; complexion pronounced brunette.
eep hazel eyes, with view to matrimony. Ad-
ress W., ,79S, Tribune office.
"Seems to me you're mighty partie-
liar about the size and kind of wife
.ou want" observed the advertising
Jerk. swell, perhaps l am, but you
90 INV yvifa died before we had bpen
married long, and she hadn't begun to
lalf wear out her clothes, and her
ather gave her an awful sight of 'em,
o it seems to me kinder like flying in
he face Of Providence when silk and
hings is so dear and the country lab
ring in the throes of a financial con-
-ulsion to take another mate, and let
he moths break through, and rust
md corrupt all them duds. So just
want q wife to match them things"