davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

~ Nv the laws Of this State landowners
are not PEI mi,itd io dig or mine coal within
Eve feet - tie lire dividing their land from the
adjoining land Tha, is 10 say, coal cannot he
mined ar taken from within FIVE feet of the
division line. For every violation Of this law.
lhe landowner shall pay $500 to any person
Injured lLereby.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

80 &c very diligcut over Thy child in
the April Of his understanding. lest Tie
frost OF May nip ais blossoms. While
hc is q tender twig straighten him /;
whilst he IL \ new vessel. season him /.
such as thou makcst him. such common.
ly wilt thou fined him Let lis irst les.
con I've obedience, and his second shall be
what thou wili.-Quarlcs.
I0 The Duke OF Aborcorn, in speech
ut tho annual banquet Of tho Lord Nav.
or OF Dublin, said that the condition and
progress Of ireland during the past Year
has been most encouraging. Crime had
decreased and tranquility prevailed. and
MI that was Wante,l was more capital.
for the profitable employment Of which
the country affords boundess field.
1ee- Hagh Mulhollaui, mail agent on the
Richmond and Louisville route hiss been ar.
rested for robbing The mails lie was formerly
a surgeon IN the army and, later Assessor in
lie FOIrlh Lcuiuckv digfi.t
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

20 The roads in some parts Of Ger
many arc lined through tie entire dis.
tan1c by rows of poplars. or apple trees.
the branches OF witch latter bend be.
meath The weight Of the fruit a fine Of
three sltIlings is tho penalty for picking
the fruit; consequently it is permitted
TO ripen, and ihe owners or the commn.
nifty reap the benefit Of their foresight
in making shade trees So once beautiful
and profitable.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

jHT1- The residence Of Gen Gideon Pillow.
nj Memphis, Tenn. Was sold at bankrupt saIe on
Tuesday Of last week. There was no comprti-
lion in tbr bidding. The residence. which il
probably worth So 600. was bought hy gentle.
msn for tw entl six dollars, and The valuable
library lay nnoiher person for eleven dDllars
aud both were pitstnttj to Mrs Pillow
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

TrSFrrfHT O. LYixC 81 whoa Aristotle. who
vas Cf'cian philosopher, ard tutor 81 Alex.
90 der Sic Gttat. was once hfktd IS bat n nan
could gain ly uurrirg hissbot d.. BE- replied
mot to Re Citdii,d vttn be FpeHks the ituth. DO
On TIE crrirrry, n is rtisUd hat when
feifateh, nm itnlisn =, e.. mrn cf strict inier-
uty, WIS tumuontd rs - Witftss, and offered
~ The usuel manner 10 take on oath before
count OF justice. The Judge closed the book. ssv.
inF' as FOR !ou, leirsich your word is sulf-
Gent I'fin he story Of Peifaich We fnay
learn bow great fcsrfct is paid 10 those hose
character Tor truth is established ard from lie
rtrly OF Aristotle, The follj - well ns wicked
r'ts Of lyirP To- The country o. siam, kiuR-
dom II sia, I've who tells lie - punish
according 30 ihc law, by having bis mouth
scwcd ~.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

~ 7 bs warden n lie Oregon perifeotiary
bus Discharged ile prison doctor md detailed
one Of the t'r'icts. who is On educated physi.
t"n. tn Ieiioim % g duties. The walden claims
ihHi be saved The Stale 81 500 wear ~ Ibis
arrangement, end V always sure 10 have inedi.
col attendance "Hiihin reach whom uteded.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

- Few davs ago. near Luray, Page
county, four little colorcd children we're burned
70 death BY The explosion Of an oil can whilst
they were attempting 70 mnke fire IN the cook
ing stove. The children were alone AZ Tho time.
their iacuis harius gone % aeighbogs
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

TUE NARROW PAss'GE BRDaR Dis&srrR--A
Woodstock, Shenandoah county. Virgins, on
The 10Th inst the coroner's arg investigating
the cause Of The death 1f he victims Of the mar.
row passage fridge disaster, ON the llarper's
Ferry branch a The Baltimore 4 Ohio railroad
on Moudsy ugh. March 9Th, rendered a verdict
That hey came 10 their deaths by the breaking
of the urrr'w passage bridge. srd that sid
breaking Of lie uiidgs was csustd by the IN
sour duess Of The tirb,rs 10 The bridge.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-03-24

~ Ieudirg The discussicp of lhe Tax bill in
NE Houfe az Delegates OF Virgins. VIZ. stuart
f'ii ihai it IS not he State debt which IL Oh.
pressing tic PEOPLE, but The public school SIS
TEN. According 20 The Auditors report The
Stale h"s io dfie expended 90, 295,474 upon 10,
while 'he counties cities aod towns have ap-
Jroproicd, We thought nearly ~ much or st
least enough 10 matc The whole smount 81.
100000. but for this we could have gotten
olong without tbe present embarrassment
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
Honesty is the Best Policy.

One day strange customer came to a
Detroit customer. He wanted some
goods and he paid cash down. The next
day he made another purchase and paid
cash, and as the days went by his face
aud his cash became familiar. One day
he returned with the change given him
aud said
"I believe am an honest man. You
paid me twenty cents too much"
The grocer received itand WAS pleased.
Two days safter that the stranger returned
from the curbstone to say:
"Another mistake on your part; you
overpaid me by forty cents"
The grocer was glad to have found an
honest man, and was puzzled to know
how he could have counted SO far out of
the way. Three days more, and the
stranger picked up dollar bill in the
store and said: "This is not my dollar.
I found it on the floor, and you must
take charge of it,"
The grocer's heart melted, and he
wondered if the world was not progress,
ing backward to old-time honesty. A
skip OF one day, and then the honest
man brought down wheelbarrow, or.
dered eighteen dollars worth of gro.
ceries, and would have paid cash had he
not forgotten his wallet He would hand
it in at noon as he went past, he said,
and it was all right with the grocer.
That was the last of the honast mun
morning fades to no n, and noon melts
away in darkness, but he cometh not
There are no mistakes in change-no
more dollars on the floor, and the gro
GERS eyes wear q way-off expression, as
if yearDing to see some one for about
two minutes,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
why Aunt sallie Never Married.

Snow, Aunt Sallie, do please tell us
why you never got married. You re-
member you said once that when you
we're girl you we're engaged to a min
lister, and promised us you would tell us
about it some time. Now, aunt, please
tell us"
"Well, you see, when was about
seventeen years old, I was living in
Utica, in the State of New York.
Though say it to myself, was quite a
good looking girl then, and had several
beaux. The one that took my fancy was
a young minister, very promising
young man, and remarkably pious aud
steady. He thought great deal of me,
and 1 kind of took fancy to him, and
things went on until we were engaged.
One evening he came to me and put his
arms around me, and kind of hugged
nae, when got excited and some fius-
trated. 1t was long time ago, and 1
don't know but what 1 may have hugged
back little. was like any other girl,
and pretty soon pretended to be mad
about it, and pushed him away, though
/ wasn't mad bit. You must know the
house where I lived was on the back
streets of the town. There were glass
doors in the parlor, which opened over
the street. These doors we're drawn to.
I stepped back little from him, and
when he came up close pushed him
back again. 1 pushed him harder than
I intended to, and don't you think,
girls, the poor fellow lost his balance
and fell through one of the doors into
the street."
"Oh aunty. Was he killed2"
"No. He fell head first, and as be
was going I caught hold of him by the
legs of his trowsers. l held on for O
minute, and tried to pull him back; but
his suspenders gave way, and the poor
man fell clear of his pantaloons into a
parcel OF ladies and gentlemen along the
! street"
"Oh! Annty Aunty! Lordy /"
"There, that's right, squall and giggle
as much rs you want to. Girls that can't
hear little thing like that without tear
ing around the room and he-he-ing in
such way, don't know enough to come
10 when it rains. A nice time the man
that marries one of you will have, won't
he2 Catch re telling you anything
again"
But, Aunt Sallie, what became OF
himl Did you ever see him again 2"
"No; the moment he touched the
ground he got NJ and left that place in
Il terrible hurry. I tell you, it was q
sight to be remembered. How that man
did run. He went out West, and 1 be.
lieve he is preaching in Illinois. But he
never married. He was very modest,
and suppose he was SO badly frighten-
cd that time that he never dared trust
himself near woman again. That,
girls, is the reason why I never married.
l felt very bad about it for long time
for he was real good man. and I've
oft,n thought to myself that we should
have been very happy if his suspenders
| hadn't given away"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
A Disappointed Wife.

A downcast looking woman, about
forty years old, called at a lawyers
Office in Detroit and asked the attorney
il he could see to little business for
her. He replied that he could, and she
explained. .....
"My husband went to the Black
Hills over four months ago."
"Yes, see. That is desertion, and
good grounds for DIVORCE" he replied.
81 don't want no divorce, sir. What
l want is for him to send me some
money" ..
"And he won'ta"
"Well, he hasn't sent any yet"
"And what can 1 do" asked the law
yer.
Put lawsuit on him and scare him
into it" she answered.
He gloomily replied that the court
had no jurisdiction in such case, and
that he could do nothing.
"Why, if was lawyer, could put
suit on him in an hour-I know
could I" she protested.
He shook his head. ... ....-.
"Well, all right" she said, as sh'
rose to go, 81 thought lawyers hat
some get-up to 'em, and / always hell
my breath when one passed the house
but this thing has opened my eyes
You don't know any more than / do, sir
and l don't know anything! Good-day
sir 4" '- s...--
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
One Way Of Carving q Turkey.

There is nothing young unmarried
man likes better than to go to dinner
at the house of friend and be asked to
carve the turkey. He never carved
turkey in his life, and with an old maid
on one side of him, watching him close
ly, and on the other side a fair girl for
whom he has tenderness, be feels en-
barrassed when he begins. First he
pushes the knife down toward one of
the thigh Joints. He can't find the Joint,
and he plunges the knife around in
search of it until he makes mincemeat
out of the whole quarter of the fowl.
Then he sharpens his knife and tackles
it again. At last, while making terrific
dig, he hits the joint suddenly, and the
leg flies into the maiden lady's lap, while
her dress front is covered with shower
of stuifing. Then he goes for the other
leg, and when the young lady tells him
he looks warm, the weather seems to
him suddenly to become four hundred
degrees warmer. This leg he finally
pulls loose with his fingers. he lays it
on the edge of the plate, and while he
is hacking at the wing he gradually
pushes the leg over on the clean table
cloth, and when he picks it up it slips
from his hand into the gravy dish and
splashes the gravy around for six square
yards. Just as he has made up his mind
that the turkey has no joints to its
wings, the host asks him if he thinks
the Indians can really be civilized. The
girl next to him laughs, and he says he
will explain his views upon the subject
after dinner. Then he sops his brow
with his handkerchief, and presses the
turkey go hard with the fork that il
slides off the dish and upsets goblet OF
water on the girl next to him. Nearly
frantic, he gouges away again at the
wings, gets them off in a mutilated con.
dition, and digs into the breast. Before
he can cut any off the host asks him why
he don't help out the turkey. BewiI
dered, he puts both legs on plate and
hands them to the maiden lady, and
then helps the young girl to platefu
of stuffing, and while taking her plate il
return knocks over the gravy dish
Then lie sits down with the calmness O
despair and fans himself with a napkin
while the servant girl clears up ant
takes the turkey to the other end of tn,
table. He doesn't discuss the India1
question that day. He goes home righ
after dinner and spends the night tryin,
to decide whether to commit suicide O
to take lessons in carving. lssia
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
Anecdotes of John Randolph.

The celebrated duel between Ran
dolph and Henry Clay grew out of the
Presidential election of 1924. In that
election Mr.. Clay, finding that he had
no chance but held the balance of pow
er, elected John Quincy Adams, by
whom he was made secretary of State.
In public debate Mr.. Randolph spoke
of this as "a combination, unheard of
till then, of the Puritan with the black
leg" In the resulting duel Clay missed
his aim and Randolph fred wide. Clay
grasped his hand and exclaimed: 81
trust in God, my dear sir, you are un-
touched; after what has occurred /
would not have harmed you for thou
sand worlds" Not long after Clay told
Randolph that Mrs. Clay had borne a
son, and they had named it John Ran
dolph Clay. Mr.. Randolph, straighten.
ing up, replied: 81 hope he will never
disgrace his godfather. Notwithstand,
ing this incident, and the fact that Mr..
Randolph paid a visit to the Senate but
few days before his death for the ex-
press purpose of bidding adieu to Clay,
the tradition is that he was at his own
request buried in his grave in sitting
posture with his face to the West, "thal
ho might watch his enemy, Henry
| Clay" The place which he selected fcl
his grave was between two pine trees il
front of his house. One of them is still
standing
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
The Polish Centennial Address.

A deputation of twenty Polish gentle
men delivered to United States Minister
Washburne, at the American Legation,
in Paris, for transmission to President
Grant, a special address and a medal
struck on the occasion of the Centen-
nial Exhibition. The medal on one
side bears the efigy of Washington, and
on the reverse the effigies of Kosciusko
and Pulaski. On handing the medal to
dr. Washburne, M. Charles Edmond, a
Pole and librarian of the French Senate,
raid "In the name of the Polish i'm
migrants l deliver to your hands an adj
dress to the President of the United
States, written on the occasion of the
glorious centenary which the Americans
are commemorating; and also medal
representing the founder of American
independence and two Polish heroes who
fought in the liberating army" Mr..
Washburno made a cordial reply, and
said that pending President Grants an
swer he felt authorized to assure the
delegation that he would be deeply
touched by the honor they did him.
Mr.. Washburne also thanked the depu,
tation on his own behalf, and said he
shared their hopes for "the establish,
ment of liberty throughout the world.
Several Americans were present, and
the proceedings were most cordial.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
A Popular Error.

1t is popular error to suppose that
milk is frequently adulterated with sheep
brains. starch, chalk, or pipe clay,
whereas its adulteration simply resolves
itself into the addition of water and the
abstraction of cream. As even pure
milk varies from twenty to thirty per
cent. in commercial value, it is difficult
for the analyst to determine how much
water has been added or cream abstract
ed. Furthermore, during the sale of a
can in a store, the best milk goes from
the top in an hour or two, SO that what
remains may become SO poor as to be
unable to stand test. The solid matter
in milk varies from nine to sixteen per
cent that containing from ten to welve
is generally good and wholesome. Fat
is the constituent of milk that varies
most, say from two to four per cent.
Goats milk, is richer in solid matter
than cows milk, containing as much as
fourteen per cent.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
4 Narrow Escape,

Two aeronauts who assembled from the
Crystal Palace, Sydenhem, England, had
a narrow escape from drowning. Six
minutes after the start they entered o
vast body of hot vapor three thousand
feet thick. After penetrating it and
reaching an altitude of seven thousand
feet, the mercury suddenly fell seventy
degrees, and the balloon was deluged
with two hundred pounds of heavy cold
rain. Three hundred pounds of ballast
had to be thrown out rapidly, for they
sunk so low that they could hear persons
shouting. After rising again with a
strong outh-southwest wind to nine
thousand feet, they remained forty min
utes at that height, and then descended
quickly, because they were already on
the Essex coast, having travelled fifty
miles in the hour. They were close to
the German ocean, and their grapnel
nearly became entangled with the mast
of fishing smack, whose crew rescued
them from an island, where the balloon
lay capsized, and the aeronauts under
the Car in the mud.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
Oh, , Fortune.

Oh, fortune, thou who dost deceive
The greatest Of this world Of ours,
Thou who dost place surremcst might
Near an abyss, all vejled with flowers
These masters of the sword and crown,
Fate resrs them up or casts them down,
Each bears a tempest in bic soul;
And COUNTLESS revolutions beat
In dai ker surgos at their feet,
Than DER the Euxino waters roll.
Their tortured slumber but prolonss
Their fury or their agony.
Fen in their dreams by turns they fear
Or glory in our misery.
Their pow'r that fills us with diemay,
A crime upreared it yesterday,
A crime will hurl it down tomorrow.
Justice-purity-are fled,
And we behold reign in their stead,
Red-handed war and carking sorrow.
And often, without sound or strife,
The loftiest throne falls suddenly
BY it's own weight thus dragged to ruin
Oh, woeful grandeur! Happier he,
Content to dwell where no storm raves,
His sails to joyous zephyrs giv'n;
Who, hesrk'pipg to the mystic waves,
Floats on the oceans moving blue
Beneath tn unmoving blue OF hesv'n.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
Mr.. LincOln,s Horse Trade.

When Abraham Lincoln was lawyer
in Illinois he and the judge once got to
bantering one another about trading
horses, and it wa agreed that the next
morning at nine o'clock they should
make a trade, the horses to be unseen
up to that hour, and no backing out,
under forfeiture of twenty-five dollars.
At the hour appointed the Judge came
up, leading the sorriest looking speci-
men of horse ever seen in those parts.
In few minutes Mr.. Lincoln was seen
approaching wit a wooden saw-horse
upon his shoulders. Great were the
shouts and the laughter of the crowd,
and both were greatly increased when
Mr.. Lincoln, ON surveying the judge'c
animal, set down his saw-horse and ex
claimed: "Well, Judge, this is the
first time 1 ever got the worst of it in {
horse trade"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
The Mouse.

I'm only poor little mouse, ma'am
l live in the wall of your house, ma'am
With a fragment OF cheese, and very few
peas,
was having little carouse, ma'am!
No mischief at all intenued, ma'am!
I hope you will act as my friend, ma'am!
II my life you should take many hearts IL
would break,
And the trouble would be without end, ma'aml
My wife lives in there in the crack, ma'sml
She's waiting for me to come back, ma'am!
She hoped might find bit of rind,
For the children their dinner do lack, ma'sm
'Tis hard living there ia the wall, ma'am
For plaster and mortar will pail, ma'am,
On the minds of the young, and when speci
ally
Hungry, upon their poor father they'll fall
ma'am
never was given to strife, ma'am
(Dont look at that terrible knife, ma'am)
The poise overhead that disturbs you in bed
'Tin Tie ra.s, Twill venture my life, ma'am
In your eyes see mercy, I'm sure, ma'am!
Ga, there's no need to open the door, ma'am
I'll slip through the crack, and I'll never come
back,
On, Iii never come back any more, ma ami
st. Nicholas.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-26
Eating and Dyspepsia.

1t is an old German adage that More
people zig their own graves with their
teeth tan with spades,' and verify it
would seem so, if we look at the i'm
Mense number of dyspeptic, rheumatic
and equity individuals, creeping through
life in pain and wretchedness. Yet it ia
next to impossible to induce even think
ing people to control their appetites and
to eat such things and at such times as
nature shows them are necessary and
right. DIR. Hall declares unhesitatingly
that it is wrong to eat without an ap-
petite, for it shows there is no gastric
juice in the stomach, and that nature
does not need food, and, not needing it,
there being no fluid to act upon it, it
remains there only to putrify, the very
thought of which should be sufficient to
deter any man from eating without an
appetite the remainder of his life. If a
tonic is taken to whet the appetite, it is
l mistaken course, for its only result is
TO cause one to eat more, when already
an amount has been eaten beyond what
the gastric Juice is able to prepare. The
object to be obtained is large supply
of gastric juice ; whatever fails to accom-
plish that essential object fails to have
any efficacy toward the cure of dyspep.
tic diseases. The formation of gastric
juice is directly proportioned to the wear
and tear of the system, which it is to be
the means of supplying, and this wear
and tear can only take place as the re-
suit of exercise. The efficient remedy
for dyspeptics is work-outdoor work.
beneficial and successful in direct pro-
portion as it is agreeable, interesting
and profitable.