The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-05-05
MARRIAGE.
some Sensible Observations ON this LIN
tereatlng Topic.

f dollars 96at., On thus ne can not Onl'
] live comfortably aid dtsss IN good style
but can also buy books and pictures, g
, to concerts, take trips to Saratoga, anC
perhaps to Europe. If he marries, ht
cannot keep house in the style of the
wealthy families with whom he has beer
able to associate as single man, and q,
: for books, picttrss, travel, .ete.j they vii
be utterly out of the qtiesti6h.
Now, it must be admitted that the
bachelor has many advsptages over the
married man: btt II midst 6lso be ad.
mitped that the married man has sohie
advantages over the bachelor. And one
cannot have both these sets of advan-
tages, any more than he can have the
pleasures of travel while enjoying the
comforts OF home. The question, is this
Whether tie society Of, a family, even
with care anG f'tiahcidl pGrPlexity, be
not worth more than the ease ahS free
dom of bachelor life, together with its
lcHeliness and general forlornness?
Marriage may be l6ttery, but 1T has
a hundred prizes to one blank. The iran
| who has not drawn so great pr1ze as
some one else-who has not done so well
as he might have done, had he used a
little more judgment-even this one will
have nothing TO, complain nt-he will
| find that he has done better than II he
| Had hot 3entured the chance at all.
When a marriage alliance Is not the
wisest; when friends are obliged 10 tdn-
ceal their chagrin, and the one who has
made the bargain finds that better one
might have been made-even then it is
rare that we should not say that the
| ttiarriage Vas better than life of per-
l .o!H.I ..i,LSnEA II - n HIoOSS m arTi1O6
| indeed. which is not better than forever
"to be alone"
This is the more to be noticed, because
| such large numbers of marriages are made
where the parties know next to nothing
6f each ether, And royal marriages,
fofned solely for state feHsOns-where
previous love was entirely cut of the
| Aiieslisn, The parties never having seen
each Other-haVe Sftet been as happy
for both parties as marriage cotld be.
If one hundred young men and one hum
dred young women were joined in mar
riage by lot, according to the custom
| otiSa fttHloned at times among the Mora
vians, ninety-fve IL these unions would
prove happy-happier, that il, i6f sre:A4
party, than perpetual single life would
have been. In many cases where " IN
compatibility of temper" has discovered
itseff, the fast that tie parties could not
seBarate has often made thsm cast aside
tiie!+ aihefeSees and, lead happy lives
together. The "tt!isks," therefore, in
marriage are small, and even the irtstoi
cable nature of the VOW makes those risks
Iesa. The indissoluble nature of the mar
tiage tie may work hardship in particular
cases. hit On the whole 1t secures the
esGI63aa 4f HHhApbY ,6oiplcs far more thor
Ouchly than lax dIvorGS IAesa w6Htd, IT
was Infinite Wisdom that established Tie
ordinance of marriage.
But while one has thus the best of
pr6st}ects for happitess in wedlock, it Is
not e5ery Jiie fzh6 finds iii marriage the
endowment of which it is capable. z fFfa3
is sometimes in too much of hurry to
get married. Before he has become es-
tabIished in business, before he has COM
plete5 bis studies or gained position in
his prafessiofi, he rtisbes iSto r,atrimOny.
Now the Happiness Of wedlock is a friiTt
wiiiiiGeii.. wiiiiiei. shoHid not be picked until it is
ripe. 1t is not alone ,tffie Ft!lSesrire Of the
present that is TO be thought of-the NAP
t;hssS II Iong life is TO he considered.
1t is a little thing C 9sit two, three or
four years if the happiness of forty y5SS:'
is to be increased by it. The question is
not ONLY what will be the pleasantest
now. but what will give greatest pleasure
a uuartef IF & teiftnrv hence, and the boy
of nineteen NAV not be cOmpettae :" sT-
lect wife for a man of forty. The ques-
ton is not so much whether the girl now
before the eyes is pretty and lively, as
whether she will he the best companion
in the lorig years of after life. Every
4oiifig man should exercise THE seit-cofff-
mand-tne se!fdsniat it may be-Ieces-
sary to keep him from preIiatar6 T'ar-
riage or a premature engagement. lie IS
worthy of ridicule who cannot leave his
trotber. but be is bigger BOBBY who
cannot get along "ithont the society oi
his sweetheart!
And let not the opinions of friends he
disregarded when one is choosing a mar
rage companion. Rarely, indeed, should
a tOung man marry the girl with whom
liis tt10theS ard sister are not pleased.
Rarely, indeed, sh5uld a E5u9s woman
marry the man with whom hef father
and brother are not pleased. 1rue
friends will think of their own interests
or tastes even, when the happiness OF
a child, brother or sister is at stake and
any objections they make to proposed
match will lie prompted by an anxiety
regarding that ones happ1ness. lhelF
cool Judgment will often discern valid
objections to marriage alliance which
the excited view of the one more e.I-
rectiy interested does not see.
But with all this marriage il a matter
of love, and nothing will take loves place.
An ounce of love will weigh down fifty
pounds of brown-stone house and brus-
s9ls carpet. And love has prudence
of its own. 1t will warm the room itself
when the coal has given out, and bring
angels to the bedside when there IL no
money to hire doctor. 1t Is only sham
love that makes the discreditable flight
by the window when poverty comes in
at the door. A woman may be happier
in poverty with man of her choice
than with another in ease and luxury.
A man may be happier in marrying some
sickly girl who will be to him IN one
sense a burden all his lite, than in es-
pousing another who will make "smart"
housekeeper. Indeed, what is the use of
marrying at ali except fer love? But
still when one is going to depend OH love
for everything, it is we'll to be sure that
il is true love, and is not mere whim,
which is guiding the steps.
And few men make as much of their
married life as they should. They are
not near as happy in it as they might be.
They do not do courting enough.
man would do well occasionally TO dress
up and come and make formal call on
his wife, the way he used to do before
they were married. If he would sit down
with her in the moonlight and talk little
of the nonsense that he used to talk. 1t
might be one the wisest things he ever
did in his life. 1t will pay man to
make love to his wife as long as they
live-the wedding day should merely
open a new courtship. A woman
heart is deeper than gold mine, and
though a man may have had Possession son
of it for forty years, it will yield him yet
richer treasures of love if he will still
seek for them.
| PUBLIC OPINION. Mr. Disraell Is
credited with this "reminiscences: | re-
member that / once asked one of the
most sagacious gentlemen who ever sat
in this house-Mr. Walter, the father OF
one of our colleagues now in the house
1 opI x1-bo had great SQOEl-