Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-12-28
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

! A CoUNTER-IRRITATIoN change
| from shopman.
SIN is like bee-honey in its mouth,
but sting in its tsil.''
THE Icelandic language sounds just as
a row of icicles looks.
A BAD cold makes all men equal
| Burlington Hauk-Eye.
| IT isn't the man who wells loudest that
comes in ahead on the race.
THE brain may devise laws for the
blood; but hot temper leaps over a cold
decree.-Stakespeare.
In October, 1877, electors of Colorado
will vote upon the question of comforting
the right of suffrage upon women.
1T was Carlyle who said: make your
| self good man, and then you will be sure
| there is one rascal less in the world"
THE Thanksgiving Day morning mail
on the Hudson River Railroad weighed
q, ,636 pounds, the largest ever sent from
| New York.
THE meanest kind of philanthropist
| Is the man who spends his time breaking
the fine rules which he has devised for
| others to follow.
A ST. LOUIS paper, speaking of the cold
winter of 1897, says: Hogs and cattle
and turkeys roosting on the trees were
| frozen to DEATH"
"WHY," asks an English review, is
the British lion so afraid of having his
toes stepped upon?' Because he once
had unicorn on them.
WORDS may be counterfeit, false coined
and current, only from the tongue without
the mind; but passion is in the soul, and
always speaks the heart-S0utbsrn.
PEDANTRY is properly the overrating
any kind of knowledge we pretend to, and
II that kind of knowledge be a trifle in
itself, the pedantry is the greater -Swlf.
IT was Horace Greeley who said the
darkest day in any mans career is that
wherein he first fancies there is an easier
way of gaining a dollar than by squarely
earning it.
THE Texas Legislature is urged to pass
an amendment to the Constitution, MAX
ing the payment of personal taxes aquali.
fication for voters. The provision exists
in several of the Eastern and Southern
States.
WITH years we gain worldly wisdom but
for that we must barter many trustful
feeling, many a chivalric resolve, and be
content to see many a splendid vision
"die away, and fade into the lighto of COM
mon day"
AS man walks forth with his hands
in his pockets and an icicle ON the end of
his nose, the assuring knowledge that he
isn't liable to sunstroke for at least six
months sends grateful glow along his
frozen backbone
EVERY man takes care that his neighbor
shall not cheat him. But a day comes
when he begins to care thathe do not cheat
his neighbor. Then all goes we'll He
has changed his market cart into a chariot
of the sun.-Emerson.
& SAN ANTONIO, Tex, paper SAYS:
1.-The champion fibDer of the State is ia
our county Jail. A kind hearted clergy.
man asked him how he came to be there
The fellow said, with tears in his eyes,
that he was coming home from prayer
meeting and sat down to rest, fell asleep,
and, while he was asleep there the coun-
ty built the jail around him, and when
he awoke the jailer refused to let him
out"
WHEN the witness was testifying the
other day, he replied to question, 81
think not, sir" Il don't want to know
what you think" thundered the lawyer.
"Well," said the witness, 81 am think
ing under oath, and that's as near as | can
tell you" That was something ew, and
the smile went round, and then somebody
suggested that possibly it might be good
thing for lawyers, stump-speakers, and
some editors to do their thinking under
oath.
AN editor wants to know in the first
place, why dying is called "paying the
debt of Nature; - secondly, whe n, how and
where babies and grown-up people get
into Natures debt; and, thirdly, whether
an enlightened and progressive age will
continue to submit to the merciless ex-
actions of such creditor. He recon-
mends that a committee should be ap-
pointed to confer with Nature. and to
compel her to compromise
SHE had a thirty dollar opera glass and
brought it into constant use at the opera
house in Albany the other evening. AT
the close of the last act, and after she had
replaced the glass in its case, young man
requested the privilege of using it for
moment as his own was imperfect. She
courteously handed him the case, which
he returned as the curtain was falling.
Imagine her surprise the next evening
when she discovered that the nice young
man had substituted cheap and worth
less glass for her costly mother of pearl.
THE closeness of the election this year
has its historic parallels. John Adams was
elected in 1897 by three votes. He re-
ceived seventy-one while Mr.. Jefferson
had sixty eight. And one of Mr.. Adams |
electoral voters came from Maryland and |
received majority of only four. In 1901 |
Jefferson had seventy-three votes while |
Adams got only sixty-fve. A change of |
twenty electoral votes in 1912 would have |
elected De Witt Clinton instead of re-elect- |
ing Madison. Van Buren would have |
been defeated in 1886 had 5000 votes |
changed sides in Pennsylvania, and a |
change of between 5000 and 5000 votes
in Maine, New York, New Jersey and |
Pennsylvania would have prevented the |
election of Harrison in 1910. The thirty |
six electoral votes of New York elected |
Polk in 1874, and the Democratic major |
ity majority in New York was about 1000. |
The change of nineteen electoral votes |
in 1848 would have elected Cass over Tay- |
lor, and several of the States gave very |
small majorities. Marcus Morton was |
chosen Governor of Massachusetts some |
forty years ago by majority of one vote, |
and there have been several instances In |
which State elections have hinged on less
than 100 votes. 1t is provoking to come |
within hairs breadth of hitting the |
mark, and scarcely less so to come within |
hairs breadth of missing it. The one
party is never reconciled to its defeat, and |
the other never thoroughly enjoys VIC