, 1876-11-12
WOULD BE A CLERK.

pearing to be SO years old, entered the store f1
company with her da1ghtcr,-a thin-faced old
maid Of about 30,-anp when the clerk slid
forward, the mother saidA
| mot any dry goods forVls to-day. Where's
the owner?"
sDo you wish to see the proprietors asked
| the clerk.
| "He's the man,
| They we're shown into the office. The mer.
chant supposed they owned village store and
desired to stock up, and he welcomed them with
q winning smile.
tNly daughter Minerva-Mncrva Bottom
said the lady by way Of introduction.
| Minerva and the merchant shook hands,
chairs were PLACED, and as the two sat down the
"she's one Ok the best girls in the State OF
';No doubt-no\ doubt, madam.''
! "After she has been in the store one month
| you wouldn't part with her for $40 day. said
the mother.
] "Ah.-yes-Ycs.n
"She's smart on figures, honest as IN old
! fashioned winter, and she wouldn't be giggling
! round with the clerks.''
ell hardly understand you," said the
| gentleman.
Il want place for Minerva. She's signing
and dying to be clerk.''
"Ah! But have no vacancy Just now"
! ~ don't want any vacancy. l want Minerva
| to be clerk. She's just as smart as wolf, and
if she comes here shall Of course do all my
| trading With her. don't know but I'd take
some bed-ticking home with me to-day, for they
! say ticking is on the RISE"
@Yes-but-but-"
| ssI know how you fecl,'' she interrupted,
! ubut you can depend on her. Our Postmaster,
| Squire johnson, and heaps OF others, will
| recommend her. She's got character, that
! girl has. You might leave q million dollars with
her and feel perfectly safe. Minerva, you
sold four yards Of factory at ten cents yard,
how much would the whole thing come to!"
Forty cents, OF course" drawled Minerva
<'See there-see therel" exclaimed the
| mother. Have you clerk in the store who
eau reckon figures rs quick rs thatt'
"Bnt have all the clerks want" he man
aged to get in.
"You might discharge that cross-eyed young
man out there, and give this poor girl chance
for her life," blended the mother. IS II she
doesn'tget place she will certainly 20 into
decline and dle.''
stA1inerva, If you sold four bunches of hair
pins for cents per bunch, how much money
would you gets''
Is Twenty y-four CENTS fool knows that, ,"
ssCan you beat that in this storc2" proudly
inquired the mother. "1f you take her you can
depend upon her. She's always home nights is
not hearty eater, can put up With children,
and know your wife would like her: She can
after dark, and so you'll be killing two birds
with one stOne."
stI can't take her-no-no Got all the help
I want!'' replied the merchant
<<Three dollars week and board takes my
daughter,n persisted the mother.
"Can't-can't do it."
ssSay So.
sNo-no!n
stThat settles that" remarked the mother, as
she rose up. II see your object. You want
ma fr,n fotrn f1 It a tynaE h11f TIT
hung first. Come on, Minerva. l did think Of
looking at some bed-ticking, but we'll go up the
street. I'll get you clerkship where you can
look right down on this store as horse looks
down on q erasshopper. ."-Lonisvik Com
11erciaL
ION AN ACCOMMODATION
A very amusing incident occurred On Fort
Wayne Railway train Saturday afternoon. Just
before one Of the accommodations pulled out
from the Federal street station well-dressed,
cspectable-looking individual, slightly the worse
for little 'ttam," entered one Of the cars, ap-
preached lady who Was occupying part OF q
seat, and said:
"Madam, is thi (hic) is seat takens"
The lady very pleasantly answered, "No,
sir"
4.Aladam, may i 81 {hic) it douns''
"Yes, sir, you may"
The boosy individual took seat, and in few
contented and happy for few minutes All at
once be threw his arms about his fellow-trayel-
er and kissed he- vehemently several times.
Several. passengers In the crowded car at this
became greatly incensed, The fellow kept up
his loving method Of procedure, and the lady
appeared to be resisting him Us best she could. !
Finally number Of the most determined OF the |
passengers made simultaneous bounce for the |
boosy man. One individual raised window, and, !
1t looked as if the fellow was going to hunt !
terra irma, when he suddenly seemed to take |
In the situation. I
!" What does ii (hic) you fellows wauta"
The only answer was more determined effort |
to lift the speaker from his place. Then the |
other occupant Of the seat turned and took part ]
In the conversation.
Gentlemen" she said, " this is my hus-
band.''
"Oh-''
The man and bis wife had entered the car be-
fore any Of the other passengers and had gone
out for refreshment. When he returned, feeling |
very humorous, he addressed bis partner in |
spch tone that everybody could hear him, as
though she was stranger, and that's what
fooled them.-Pntsburg Dispatch.
PLAIN WOMEN.
Among women Of exalted rank who have been
Tanting in beauty are Margaret OF Sweden, Ma
:ilda, Empress Of Germany, and Christiana, Of
Sweden. Fulvia, wife Of Antony, had but few
personal charms; nor had TeEentta, wife Of
Cicero, much beauty, II one may trust to the
majority OF historians; but most Of these have
ound some admirers among biographe7s-
Neither Anne Of Clcves nor Catherine Of ARA
ron was goodlooking; still for awhile they
;wayed the tickle heart Of their Bluebeard hus-
'and. Queen Anne was q dowdy, graceless
roman III Ter best days. Crom#ell's wife Was !