The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-06-19
I;erls OF Interest.
blow

Domestic macazines-Wivcsw WHO blow
up their husbands.
There is gold in the Black Hills, but
the men who get it don't come home.
It seems that base ball is IN old he
brew game, as Solomon refers to the
pitcher being broken at the fountain.
| Judge-"Have you anything to offer
to the court before sentence is passed
on youf" Prisoner-"No, judge; 1had
$40, but my lawyers took that.
Till We have reflected on it we are
scarcely aware how much the sum. Of
human happiness in this world is in
debted to this one feeling-sympathy.
Keep your promises to tho letter be
prompt and exact, and it will save you
trouble and care through life, and win
for you the respect and trust Of your
friends.
A father, bent on instructing his three
year-old son, said: "If you had three
apples and should give mo one, how
many would yon hayo left I" Il
wouldn't do it, pa, was tho prompt
reply.
The latest device OF the circulators of
advertising cards is to place them in
envelopes inscribed: "To the lady the
house-For your life do not open this
before eight minutes past eight to-
night" -f 81
They say it is impossible to cheat with
one OF tho turnstiles used OF the Centen-
nial Exhibition yet one of tho gate
keepers turned in $50 more than his
registering apparatus calledfo the other
evening.
Fashionable tailor-"I can't help fit-
ting a figure like yours, sir, and I'm
willing to lose money for the sake OF
tho advertisement, SIR" Freshman is
delighted, and pays m extortionate bill
without murmur.
From London Fan ION the hat and
cloak fashion,: Shocked and astonished.
verger-" You bad aud wicked boy, why
don't you take your hat of in church :"
Bad and wicked boy Overcome with
guilt" you please. sir, I'm little
girl" ~ ..s..... ~,
Roberts, the man who killed and de-
capitated the California bandit Chavez,
has cheerful relic on his bands. He
has to wait for the next Legislature to
authorize reward for the head Of the
noted william, and all tho time he has got
to keep by him and preserve the head.
The following is clipped from the
London Guardian: A widow, q great
invalid, wishes to place two Of her
daughters, aged twelve and thirteen
years, under the charge Of n lady who
would, when necessary, administer the
birch rod, as they are extremely trouble.
some. Terms liberal.
A story is printed in Paris that the
czar, while OF the bedside Of his dying
younger sister, told her how much it
panied him to see her die SO premature
| ". She replied: "You know they
don't live longer than sixty years in the
Romanoff family. This speech made a
deep impression o1the czar. He 10 now
fifty-eight years old. .7 n
On the arrival OF n circus at st. Croix,
Wis, a family who lived twenty-five.
miles distant sold tLcir oily stove to
raise the money to attend it. Their
method of travelling was by means OF
an OK team. One day was consumed inS
going, another in witnessing tile enter
taiument and third in returning.
Happy and contented they arrived ut
their stoveless homo and voted the cir.
Gus the best thing they had ever wit
messed, and the money well and advan-
tageously invested. ...s.r,..,
Opium eating deranged young mans
mind 40 much that he fought imaginary
foes with his revolver at midnight in his
room in London, England. Tho fright
ened inmates Of the house ran ont into
the street, and two constables proceeded
to the maniac's room up stairs. "Thcy
are mesmerizing me-" shouted tho mad
man, and shot the two officers. wound
lug them severely; one, However, struck
him blow with his blu4geon right
across the nose and felled him. He was
secured with great difficulty.
1t is recorded that gentleman resid-
ing in one OF the largo towns OF Eng
land, whose face exceeded the ordinary
dimensions, was waited en- by barber
every day for twenty.one years without
coming to settlement. The barber,
thinking it abont time to settle, present.
cd his bill, in which he charged n penny
n day, amounting in all f31 l6s. ID.
The gentleman, supposing too much
charged, refused to pay the amount, but
agreed to proposal Of the barber to pay
at the rate OF G20O M acre. The pre-.
misses wero accordingly measured, and
tba res,,It ,raq that the shaving bill wps