The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-11-16
THE EASTERN QUESTION.
How IL Appears to n Clever Partisan jour
nuIist, pivested Of Ceremony.

hoW IL Appears 10 Clever Parfstan jour-
nulist, Invested of Ceremony.
Albert Millard's "Lettres Fantais.
tstes are among the most notable fea.
rures of cotemporary Partisan journal
ism. This is his latest production, euti.
tied Turks and Servians; or, Woe to
the Victors."
Scone--A battlefield. The Turks have
just laid out the Servians, who take to
flight.
Turks-Allah be praised We have
conquered Three cheers for Mahomet
lhey carry the news to Midhat Pasha. J
Midbat Pasha-The deuce you have
Quick: lose no time; go and apologize
10 the Servians. (Fhey re.enter Servia. J
Turks-Ho, We Servisus, we have just
walloped you. Ycu are absolutely wiped
out. We tender our apologies and re-
grets, and are prepared to make any
compensation you will indicate.
Servians-We want nothing. We will
accept neither apologies, regrets nor
indcmnities, We don't care for you.
We are the conqnerors.
Turks (rising ON their ears)-Oh, you
are
Serviaus We are.
Turks-Say it again, will yous (The
SerVians do. The Turks trounce them.
and return to announce the victory to
Midhat Pasha.)
Midhat Pasha-There you are again |
Will you never give me rest Go back
to Tchernayeff, fall on your knees and
offer him an armistics.
Turks-So be it. (They do SOY
Tchernayeff-What Apologies An
armistice2 You offer this to us as II we
could accept it 1t is our privilege to
make conditions.
Turks-But we are the conquerors.
Tchernayef-Well, possibly you are.
Turks--And you the conquered.
Tchernayeff-Adm it. But don't
push it too far. 1 am not Of the patient
breed.
Turks-"You amt, eh2
Tchernayeff-Not much.
Turks-Not more are we; and we may
as well have it out now. once for all.
(The Turks sweep the Servians from the
face of the earth.(
(Enter Midhat Pasha.)
Midhat Pasha-Great Allah What
shall we do now9 The Servians are
thrashed, flying, abolished. My army
has not left platoon of them together
We have nothing left but to capitulate
We must capitulate. (He goes in his
Shirt with q rope round his neck, to
offer reforms to the Servians.)
Servians-Our terms are high. We
must have ten thousand Turks decapi-
tated.
Midbot Pcabo-DoOat
Servians-Also our autonomy.
Midhat Pasha-I guarantee it.
Servjans--Likewisem much cash.
Mldhat Pasha-Have all you will. Is
that alii
Servians- Lord, mol We want Con-
stantinople.
Midhat Pasha oh, come, now
Servians-And besides-and unless
you agree to our terms -
Turks-Well2
Servians-Well, mind your eye.
Turks-That's rubbing it in. (They
fall on the Servians and reduce them to
sixteen in number) Now, will you
have little common sense9
Surviving Servians-We must have
the Black sea.
Turks--We'll Black sea you. (Addi-
tioual unpleasantness. Eight severely
wounded Serviaus remain.) Now that
we have you down to a fine point let us
hope that we may come to an amicable
understanding.
Servians-We may, after you have
abandoned the errors of Mahomet
(The eight Servians are reduced to two :,
Turks-Well, let us have peace.
Serviaus-We must have the moon
(The last Servian bites the dhst,)
Turks-Allah be praisedl That is the
last Of them What does Europe say9
Europe-They wanted the moon
You must give them the moon
Turks-Give whom the moonf
Europe Give it to the Se,vians
nurks-But there are no Se.vians
Europe-Let us not discuss prelimi
naries. You have bsen asked to give
them the moon, give them the moon
That is indispensable before we go an,
| further.
Turks-Nevertheles
Enrope-No nevertheless "---giv,
them the moon.
Turks-All right. They shall have
it. (Aside) But how shall we manage
it9 (Cartain.)