Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-02-11
, SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The "dcfalcation" mania is becoming
mOnOtOnous.
PRACTICAL JOKING = Bank robbers
gags. .r--Boston Post
WHAT animal is suggestive of heavy
raing He Is well known as Reynard
YoN BULow is pronounced as though
spelled Won Below, with the accent on the
Be. ."-Chtcd0o Journal
A CYNTHIANA (Ky.) boy has just shot
his school-teacher. That comes from teach
ing the young idea how TO shoot
A CONNECTICUT man advertlses himself
as temperance bootmaker." Guaran-
tees his boots against snakes, probably.
A CHILD born without any brain is a
late freak of nature in Georgia. People
who don't appear to have any are common
enough.
An English paper says that it is thought
in many quarters that the Jews are going
TO purchase the Holy Land of Turkey, with
a view of going there in body.
A MAN in Kentucky was found dead
with fourteen bullet holes in his head,
and Coroner's jury returned a verdict of
death from undue excitement"
THE Governor of Virginia pardoned o
criminal the other day, on condition that
he shall never use ardent spirits, wine or
any other intoxicating beverage.
The Supreme Court of Texas has de-
cided that contracts for Confederate money
are not void, but the party can recover the
real consideration for the contract.
WHEN l have work to do,' SAID an
old topper, " always set about doing it."
He had been " setting abOutn in a bar.
room for years.-N. D. Republican.
"WHATdo they always put D. C. after
Washington for?' asked Mrs. Quilp of
MIR. q. why, my dear, don't you know
washington was the Daddy of his Coun-
try?' said Quilp, with snicker.
AMERICANS boil tea, but the Chinese, TO
preserve the favor, make it by infusion.
That is, they place small quantity of
tea-leaves in bowl, pour boiling water
on them, and then cover the bowl
THERE is flourishing Landlords AS
sOciation in Hartford, COun., the members
of which impart mutual information in
regard TO n9n-paying tenants, and those
who damage rented premises much beyond
the ordinary wear and tear.
Is 1T not astonishing that men, who
have the whole world to conquer, will
bother their great heads with the tightness
Of a woman's skirt? How about your
stoye-pipe hats? They make your heads
as bald and greasy as a dishcloth, yet you
wear them.-Ahd CALIFORNIA;.
A LADY residing in this city, aged up
ward of seventy years, is cutting her third
set of teeth. During the past several
months three well-developed teeth have
made their appearance in her upper jaw,
and others are forcing their way through.
-Syrdcuse IN. ~ Journal.
A IMAM, who ten years ago was known all
over the United States as one of the most
promising of baseball players living, has
for few days past been peddling onions
and potatoes about the streets of Elizabeth,
unnoticed and unknown. And even this
is better business than catching tlies.--
Boston AdUettSer.
"WAITING FOR THE VERDICT" The
German Nurse" Is il a Cherman or an
Enklish papy?' The Mamma" Well, l
don't know. You see she was born in
England, but my husband is German"
The German Nurse" Ach, Sohl Zen We
will vait to see vat lenkvetch she will
schbeak, and zen We will know i"-Puich.
WE are going TO give stunner," !" said
Mrs. Mushroom to Mr.. Grace Church
Brown, land if, instead of giving num-
bers to the coachmen, Mr.. Brown, you
will call out the names of the guests as
loud as you can, those edisagreeable people
across the street will see we move in as
good society as they do"-Neao York
Mail.
"MY dears, l miss something or some.
body, can't tell what or who" said
Jones to his children, as he sat down to tea
the other night. T" P'raps it's mother, :"
said little Billy, "she's gone over to Aunt
James TO tea" The child was right. 1t
was Mrs. Jones who was missed and
Jones said, in continuance: Well, let's
have quiet supper, then. ."-BOston ITdO-
eiler. -t
1T is hard, very hard, 10 get at the theo-
ries of the different schools of medicine,
especially as the doctors in most cases
don't understand the theories themselves /;
but it has been learned, after patient re-
search, that the homeopathic remedy for
sore lips is still contained in the adage
Sinlttta stnlIii buSs curdntur. In fact, it'll
curantur uncle either, applied by one of
the opposite sex.-St. Louis Republican.
The boys of Winnemucca, New, had
some fun with Snowman. They formed
line from the ticket Office extending
around a near corner Each asked the
price of admission, and, being told that it
was fifty cents, shook his head, said it was
too dear, retired, and fell in at the rear of
the line. This was kept up until the
Snowman, astoundcd by the unanimity
and seemingly great number, reduced the
charge, and then every boy cleared out.
A CERTAIN parson, who is also a school
teacher, handed a problem to his class in
mathematics the other day. Thesfirst boy
took it, looked at it awhile, and said :
pass" Second boy took il and said :
turn it down" The third boy stared
at it awhile, and drawled out: ~ can't
make it." Very good, boys" said the
parsOn; I" we will proceed 10 cut for a new
deal" And the switch danced like light.
ming over the shoulders of those depraved
young mathematicians.
"YoUNG ladies have the privilege of
saying anything they please during leap
year." she said, cycling him out of the
corner Of her eyes with sweet look. His
heart gave great bound, and, while he
wondered if she was going to ask the
question which he had so long desired
and feared to do, he answered T" Yes. "
And the young men must not refuse"
said she. " No, mol How could they?"
sighed he. Well, them said she,
"will you" He fell on his knees and
said: Anything, anything you ask,
darling" wait till / get through. Will
you take walk, and not hang around our
house so muchS" And he walked.--0
CITY Derrick.
OFFICIAL figures prove that the metrop
oils of Great Britain consumed in 1874 Of
fat cattle to the amount of $50, ,224 ,240
gold, of our money. The average cos
per pound, live weight, was fourteen
cents, gold. Just think of it, over 81 900,
900, every week for this one item of good
beefl Here surely is royal placer better
than California diggings. Murrain and
the fatal foot disease have carried of
thousands of cattle in England. The de
ficiency must be met from abroad. Mea
is very dear in London. 1t ought TO bC
cheaper, The Western prairies of oul
country are black with lusty and
believing droves. London demands
for her vast population about 600, 900 head
of beef cattle for her yearly supply, anc
this demand is constantly growing with
the amazing rapidity OF her annual in
crease Of 10000 people. Imagine it, will
you? A living, struggling mass Of cattle
pouring into her markets which in a yea
| would make line. horn TO tail, over 90,