Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-09-29
Going COurtinE.

One of the chief compensations of a wo-
mans life is found in the fact that she docs
not have to go a eourting.
1t must be confessed that in these days,
the modern belle does her share of the WOO
ing, but she does not have to dress up in
| stiff collar, and pair of boots two sizes too
small for her, and walk to the cannOn's
mouth of her inamorsta's family, consist
ing of father and mother, and grandmoth-
er, and maiden aunt, and half dozen
brothers and sisters, and inquire IN tremb-
| ling voice: rs Miss Araminta at homer
| Whenever man goes courtlng every
! body seems to know all about it. His de-
meanor tells the observant spectator the
business he is intent upon. He might just
as well placard himself with 81 go a court
ing" Everybody is cognizant Of it, and
| looks knowing, and asks him If the 'nOrth-
ern lights were bright last night about one
o'clock, and ''how is the market for kerO-
sene up to daddy Browns and a score Of
other questions equally out of place.
We have in our family at present
young man who is deeply, we trust success
fully. engaged in going courting, and our
warmeSt sympathies are aroused for him.
| When Sunday afternoon arrives it is
| plain to see that something is about to hap
| pen.
Our young man is fdgety and nOncommu-
nicative, and cannot sit in one place half
minute at time He is continually in
| terviewing his watch, and comparing it
/ with the old eight-day, coffin-shaped clock
in the corner. He looks in the glass fire.
| quently, and draws his forehead locks first
backward and then forward, and combs
| them up, and pats them down, and is un-
| satisfied with the effect throughout.
The smell of bay rum and bergamOt is
plainly apparent. When he shakes out his
handkerchief musk is perceptible. His
boots shine like mirrors. There is faint
oder of cardamOn seeds in his breath when
he yawnS.
He smooths his budding mustache with
| affectiOnate little pats, and feels his inyis-
ible side whiskers to make sure that they
are still there, a fact which is not establish
ed to outside observers by the sense Of
sight.
He tries on all his stock of neckties with
out finding one that is Just the thing; and
he has spasms of brushing his coat that
commence with violence and last till one
grows nervous for fear the broadcloth will
never be able to stand it.
He declines soup that day at dinner. He
says it is because he is not hungry, but we
know it is because there is onions in it, and
onions as everyone knows do not sweeten
ones breath to any great extent.
If spoken to on a sudden, he starts and
bushes, and looks as guilty as if he had
been caught stealing some thing, and di-
rectly if one does not speak to him he goes
back to the delightful occupation of staring
at nothing, and waiting for the hour hand
to creep around to seven. ---
Atseven he sets forth, clean and tidy from
top to toe, looking precisely as if he had
Just stepped out of handbook
In sympathy and in Inauguration we fol-
low him.
Affairs are hot fully understood between
him and Mary Jane. He is still in a state of
anxious, though somewhat blissful uncer-
tainty He does not feel quite sure wheth-
er she means business or is only flirting
with him.
Consequently he is somewhat timid.
f, He steps into the yard of Mary James pa
ternal domicile with inward trepidation.
He is not entirely certain that his visits are
welcome. He wonders if the old folks will
be at home, or if they will have had the
grace to go to evening meeting and leave
the coast clear.
He devoutly hopes that those two little
brothers are in bed for they are the torment
of his life since he has been trying to court
Mary Jane. And if ''that other fellow" is
there, he mentally declares that he will
know what such carryings-on mean.
By the time he reaches the door-steps he
is in a cold sweat, and almost wishes he
hadn't come. He rings the bell with
nervous Jerk, and then feels an insane de-
sire to rush off down the street without
waiting for anyone to answer the summons.
But he hears footsteps within AMI knows
that it is too late to make good his escape
So he remains and puts good face on it,
and feels those side whiskerS and smiles
hopefully and says to himself that he does
hope that Mary Jane will come to the door
herself. and not send that grinning servant
girl, who invariably giggles in his face, and
then Grams her apron into her mouth to
stop further developments, when he en-
quires: SIS Miss Mary at homer
After he gets inside the house he is till in
a state of perplexity. Will his welcome be
warm enough to admit Of his removing his
oYercoat and leaving it in the hall? or will
the state of the atmosphere be such that he
will feel chilly round his heart with his over
coat on?
When he is seated in the parlor, the
problem he is called upon.to solve, is what
shall he do with his feet and hands?
His hands he can put in his pockets when
every thing else fails, and he most deEout-
ly wishes that he could dispose of his feet
in the same manner.
D What shall he talk about after the topic
of the weather is exhausted? Does she no
tieeshis side whiskers, and think them be-
coming? Does she like the way his hair is
parted? and does she think blue neck-tie
becoming to him?
All these vexed questions pass through
I |, Ia. . 3k,os-
and looks at her, and thinks how charming
she is, and would give all his spare money
to rise and take a seat beside her on the
sofa, where she has left room for him, and
wants him to sit, no doubt. But then a
woman may not express her thoughts on
such thing.
His heart sinks as he hears in the next
room the old mans sonorous 'tahem!
ahame!' and knows by the rafting OF
things generally that the parents of his love
are preparing to retire to their bedroom,
which Joins the parlor and is separated by
a thin partition which gives an easy. access
to sound, and conveys to ears maternal and
paternal every kiss of youth and love he
may give to Mary Jane, and the little femi-
nine squeak which he knows will attend
every such performance.
And he revolves anxiously within his
own mind what diabolical scheme of ven
geance against lovers does possess the
brains of the majority of house-carpenters
in this world which induces them to con-
struct houses with bedrooms for old folks
adjoining the parlors.
He trembles every time he hears door
open anywhere, lest those eRfants terrible
may be about to make their advent, and
his heart goes up like the mercury in dog
days as he hears the noisy tread Of their
feet as they ascend to regions above for
their nocturnal siesta.
But in spite Of all these minor troubles,
and legion of others besides, our young
man is happy; for he is young, and the
glamour Of first love is over him, and we
suppose he would not dispense with the
pleasure of courting for anything in the
world. Kate Thorn,