The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-09-06

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journey in exactly lightweight days.
A Backwoods Editor.
Years ago, when q certain Western
State (which we will not name) was
territory, and with few inhabitants,
young lawyer from one of the old
States emigrated thither, and settled
in the town of K. He succeeded
admirably in his profession, and rose
rapidly in popular favor. He had been
there nearly two years, when he in
duced a printer to print weekly
paper, of which he was editor and
proprietor. Squire S. was much
pleased for a while with editing
paper. He was man of very low
stature, but he used the editorial
"we,' as frequently as if there were
dozen of him, and each as big as Dan
iel Lambert.
Strange to say, there were at that
time men in office who were not a par
ticle more honest than they should be
a thing which probably never hap
pened before and never will again.
Squire S. felt all the patriotism of
son of '76, and poured out grape and
canister against public abuses. This
soon stirred hornets nest about his
ears but as there was no other paper
in the territory, there was no reply,
and he enjoyed his warlike propen-
sites in security.
At length he published an article
more severe and cutting, against NAL
feasance in office, than any that had
preceded it. In fact, though pointed
at no one individual in particular, it
was ''scorcher.'
Some three or four days afterwards
he WIS sitting alone in his editorial
Office, which was about quarter of
mile from the printing establishment
his pen was busy with paragraph,
when his door opened without much
ceremony, and in stalked man about
six feet in his stockings. He asked,
care you S., the proprietor of this
paper q Thinking hehad found anew
patron, the little man, with one of his
blandest smiles, answered in the af.
firmative. The stranger deliberately
drew the last number of the paper
from his pocket, and pointing to the
article against rogues in office, told the
affrighted editor that it was intended
for s'him." 1t was in vain that S. pro-
tested he had never heard of him be-
fore.
The wrath of the visitor rose to
fever heat, and from being so long
restrained, boiled over with double
fury. He gave the editor his choice,
nifho1. fn ,,,,1,1ic1, h,,r,1o1a
humble recantation, or take a flogging
on the spot. Either alternative was
NORWOOD but what could he do?
The enraged office-holder was twice
his size, and at one blow would quail
ify him for an obituary notice. He
agreed to retract; and as the visitor
insisted upon writing the retraction
himself, he sat down to his task.
Squire S. made an excuse to walk to
the printing office, with promise
that he would be back in season to
sign it as soon as it was finished.
S. had hardly gone fifty rods, when
he encountered a man who inquired
where Squire SIS office was, and if he
was at home. Suspecting that he, too,
was on the same errard as the other
visitor, he pointed to the office, and
told him he would find the editor with
in, writing most abusive article
against office-holders. This was
enough. The eyes of the new conner
flashing fire, he rushed into the office,
and assailed the stranger with the
epithets, ''liar, scoundrel, coward -
and told him he would teach him how
to write. The gentleman, supposing
it was some bully sent there by the
editor, sprang to his feet, and a fight
ensued. The table was upset and
smashed into fire wood, the contents
of a large jug of ink stood in puddles
on the floor, the chairs had their legs
and backs broken beyond the skill of
surgery to cure them. This seemed
only to inspire the combatants with
still greater fury. Blow followed blow
with the rapidity of lightning. First
one was kicking on the floor, then the
other, each taking it in turn pretty
equally. The ink on the floor found
it's way to their faces, till both of them
cut the most ludicrous figure imagin-
able. The noise and uproar were
tremendous. The neighbors ran to
the door, and exclaimed with astonish-
ment, that two negroes were fighting
in Squire SIS Office. None dared
separate them. At length, completely
exhausted, they ceased fighting. The
circumstances of the case became
known, and the next day, hardly able
to sit on horseback, their heads bound
up, they started homeward, convinced
that they had attained very little salts
faction from the attempt.
English capitalists are said to have
lost about FIVE hundred millions of dol