Richland beacon., 1876-04-29
WH0IE NO. 3S2.
Remarkable Journalism.
fPhiu delplia Bulletin ]

hiS udthe was not SulIUu, out tlnt
will do to designate him in this uarra.
live. tie proteSsed to wish to learn
TO be reporter, and be WAS sent out
10 the ZoUlogicsl garden to hunt up
an item and prove what his capacity
was. The impression prevails that
he never really visited the garden.
but, al any rate, he came to the office
late in the day and handed in q
" local. which he bad entitled IAN
Extraordinary Occurrence" When
It bad been read with an,azement by
one of Snitfin's superior officers,
Snifin was called in and in,erroga,ed :
- Mr. Sniffin, did this thing Lsppeu
precisely NJ You state ity"
Why. Of course"
You saw it yourself out at the
Geological garden, L SUPPOSE"
"Oh! yes. certainly" said Sniein.
Well, Mr.. Sniffin. it certainly is
the most extraordinary occurrence
with which AN familiar. You sav
here that while the keeper was
engaged in feeding the brars the
Egyptian opossum, which was hover
ing over the pits, few At him ard
beat him with his wings. and tried to
pick out bis eyes with his horny
beak.' Now, Mr.. Sniffin, the ,nos,
ordinary familiarity with natural his
tory would have informed you that
an opossum has no wings, ,ha, it can
not hover, and that it's beak is not
horny. Children usually know these
things. Mr.. Snitfin. if you ever do
observe winged opossum buoyiug
itself in the air, let me advise YOU to
knock it down with a club. | guar.
antee that the Geological Society will
give you 81 100000 for it and vote
YOU medal. Your best nope in life
is to reach for that aerial animal"
"l'll do my best" said Suifin.
:" And then you 20 on to saw in
your report: When the keeper struck
the infuriated bird referring to tho
opossum, Of course; this is simply
maddening-'Wben the keeper struck
the infuriated bird to tie earth it was
Instantly seized by the crane which
was browsing upon the grass-plo,
close at hand. The opossum fastened
i,s talons in the long name which
hung from the arching neck Of the
crane and the latter. balancing itself
upon its legs, held i,s victim in it's
teeth and strove to kill the opossum
by striking it with its front hoois.
The combat ended by the crane killing
the sacred bird Of toe Egyptians. and
then. as the keeper removed the body,
the crane walked away nibbling the
grass and whisking of the flies With
its flowing tall" Mr.. SnitIin, did |
understand you to say that you saw
Ibe whole Of this transaction With
your own eyes ?"
Well. l-lbat is-I-'
"Oh. no matter! 1t is immaterial,
sir. Testimony from man who talks
about the hind legs o: q crane. and
who accuses it Of having a name aud
1ibbling grass. is not Of sufficient
Importance to warrant the taking of
such pains to secure it. Hind legs of
crane! Snifin, wish you'd sit
1owh some time and throw together
DO piece Of paper your general idea
'f the appearance Of q crane. Make
sketch Of it. l wsut to preserve it
Is q curiosity. But I'm afraid that
'our career as journalist will have
o come to an end. You are not
ss q reporter. You mean
veil, Of course, but people are getting
particular now about the kind of read.
ny that they End in newspapers, and
1our style makes them feel mad and
gloomy aud murderous. If you STAY
n the business | don't know but that
'ome day when nobody's watching
7ou you may cram in something
'bont two-legged mules with feathers,
" anacondas spinning webs in a
,arre,, or sheep storing honey in their
hives. or cows tearing somebody limb
rom limb and flying to their nests in
be mountain crag with their body I!
e won't do Mr.. Sniffin. it really won't.
rhe people are too faslidious. So III
Excuse YOU now if you want to leave.
food morning"
Mr.. Snifin then Withdrew. and be
8 still in search of congenial pro-
ession.
louisiana aS vieWel by Arens.