The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-05-25
TplEOOCWE TlLrON.
4 ..TrUc Inv nrdVess'' Episode ut
WclliugtOn-N0i Sca.stct. nv
something Like 10,

Theodore Tilon lecturcd at yelling
ton on Friday evening last, ana succeed
ed in so yividly illustrating a certain
phrasa in his PROBLEM Of Life that il is
altogether likely that he will never again
be invited to instruct that portion OF the
great American public. From reports
which have been brought down by re-
liable eyewitness. one would be led TO
infer that the great plaintiff was only hut
man after all. AMI that little alcoholic
inspiration could fetch him as thoroughly
as though he was made of commoncr
stuff.
The evening train brought the di>tin-
gui.hed guest to the village, and landed
him safely ut the American House.
where select rooms had been engaged for
the occasion. Upon his arrival. I. u.
informed the landlord that his intcral AZ
engagements were out of gear, and gently
limited that little Of something warm in
its tendencies would reach him in vital
part. Anxious to relieve pain. the host
generously east about for tho''mcdicine"
and in less than ten minutes bottle OF
choice old rye. with the cork out rested
on the table in Theodore's room. The
lecture hour arrived, and large and in
| tclligcnt audience gathered in the best
hall Of the place, awaiting the appearance
of him with the flowing locks. He came,
but cloud lowered on his massive brow;
and certain ccccntricity of action led
the average spectator 10 conclude that all
had not gone well with him, and later de-
velopement, during the evening hight
ened the impression. lie had hardly
commenced on his "Probem OF Life" De.
fore lac switched from the subject aud
made vigorous, attack on the ventilation
Of the room. lie grew savage as he pro-
cecded, and rising in offended dignity,
declared that il was Il shame that man
OF hi, ability should be invited to speak
in such hall. As my friend Greeley
once said. " he Numbered, 1.-THE only way
TO vontilate the room would be 10 take
howitler and blow hole through the
roof"
The audience at first sympathizcd. and
charged the somewhat unmannerly per-
iormancc 10 the occentlciiy OF genius,
aud one prominent citizen. lawyer.
arose and suggested that the windows
should be lowered. Theodore objected
to the Interference. and ia deep bass,
Numbered, "sit down, sir, sit down."
and 1t l. needles, to say that the COM
mand was obeycd with alacrily.
Again ana again. it i said, did the lee
turer go out of his way 10 abuse
tile audience, and the whole West. in Ian
guage unmeasurcd and unstinted. lie
declared that the people out Til, way
were ignorant and that they knew les
and grew meaucr u they went farther
West" His whole bearing during the
evening va, such THAI il was charitable
10 suppose that he WAS under tile IN
i'uence OF liquor, and va. IT,, response
Ole Tor his VciOTm2uce-. The audience
were thoroughly disguised z-i-h -he
whole Performance. AL we've -llt when
tie 'Proh,en- hal cee1 worked %
I The e1d.
/ Iheo.i = .g-1-LeL 81 -.- t5s=L l..ll .5
| Ii. eou-h- IT, IT, 4o--ll- le ssrr.st
biz bah sos! ai.re'! away. lie amor!
visited Tie r1o1 ana .-7=-c..-.=,I. A.
I eInT.y by.c.e Ay 90 liz -L..s. al tie
Eo1m bore l..----Ls. e7alel-e :l1. Ize1-
dy.e h1I w.e--i=I v..L himself during
the LLZa;. and tlzl Ai.-.-rue invrL-11e.s-
hal basa j-geEi % tL- ---f1er n g
MANN complimentary % -Le .1E-r o.
Old rye, 5ar 10, calculated 20 rai'e t'-. IL
one. respec; e.:Ler a. a man Or
brother. --C,rs'7a5 Ls4E>-.