The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-07-18
Se,lse and Mnpse,,se.

.
Next to dairy the most difficult thing
to keep is lead pencil. eam Z
Hogg was good writer; bat he can't
be considered aside of Bacon. Il
The Sherman. Fitch diamonds have
been forwarded to Washington for de-.
livery to Mrs. Fitch. 8
Sarcastic Slash-Young swell: 81
should like to have my moustacbc dyed. =.
Polite barber: Certainly. Did you.
bring itwith you :" Il llIsl;Ss,. q. ss
A shirt dealer advertises q bosom
warranted to wear longer than the shirt
But who wants bosom longer than his
shirt r-Norristo,on Herald. 5t
In French translation of Shakespeare,
the passage, "Frailty, thy name is wo-
man." is translated, "Mademoiselle FraiI-
ty is the name of the lady" 20 ssaa.a
Woman has many advantages over
man; one of them is that his will has no
operation till he is dead, whereas hers
generally takes effect in her lifetime
Said one man to another, "If it wasn't
Sunday, how much would you take for
that lumber 2.,s ?" sssIf it wasn't Sunday,
Id tell you," was the very proper reply.
A Tennessee preacher has been fined
$25 for whipping his step-mother. As
| it was not his mother in-law, his con-
gregation has concluded not to raise bis
salary. aaia sdf s7fBa ss s.
On learning the number of revolutions
of the great Corliss engine per minute,
Dom Pedro said "That beats our South
American republics! !'--Detroit Free
Press 2 iiN otea9G 81 g
A wag, in "what he knows about far
ming," gives very good plan to re
move widows weeds. He says good
looking man has only to say "Wilt
thouY" and they wilt. 53oi
"Py Schiminy, how dot poy studies
de languages y is what delighted ell
derly German said when his four:year
old son called him blear-eyed son Of a
saw-horse.-Boston Gtobe.
Harvey discovered the circulation of
the blood before he was thirty-four.-
Yet some editors get to be over hun
dred before they can discover the exact
circulation Of their own newspapers.
A Lancaster hen has won notoriety
by laying an egg which closely resem-
blcs pear in its shape. But this is not
as remarkable as if the fowl had laid a
pear closely resembling an egg in its
shape. G4a b sIeaB 3 d ao1li
Mamma asked precocious youngster
at the tea table the other evening, after
a long and yearning gaze toward plate
lof doughnuts, :" Mamma, do you think
I could stand another of those fried
holesf' She thought he could. sew9f
| = On which side Of the platform is my
train?' asked stranger in a Jersey City
depot the other day. "Well, my friend .
replied gentleman passing, ssif you
take the left, you will be right, if you
take the right, you'll be left"
! The Herald reports Uncle Samuel as
saying that he has no doubt the Demo
cratic majority in New York next fall
will be greater than in 1874 Neither
\ have we any doubts on the subject. The
Reform ticket will sweep the State by a
surprising majority. All the indications
point that way very clearly. r Sun
Judge Gustave Cook, Appointment
citizen Of Houston, Texas, who served
as Confederate Colonel during the
civil war, few days ago had an opera
4 1tion performed which resulted in the
extraction of bullet and good-sized
piece Of his military coat, both of which
he had carried for eleven years.
4 Spilkins has dicovered that his step
mother has cousin whose daughter
married man that has a half brother
living in Philadelphia in large, roomy
residence quite near to the Centennial
Grounds. Proper steps have been Ia
tken to establish the relationship, and
Mrs Spilkins has ordered three new Sar
atoga trunks accordingly.-Ne,c York
Commercial n dvertiser. lynDFo3
"No, sir; the war isn't over," exclaim-
ed an excited Hays man, .'it is still 90.
ling on, and we shall be false to the gal
liant soldiers who laid down their lives
| for the Union, if we didn't continue to
prosecute it vigorously" Then he can.
tered round the corner, where he drove
his elbows into the ribs of and nearly
upset a one-lcgged veteran who solicited
him for alms II BrookiyR Argus.
The machine that runs for Grantism
is to continue to run for Hayes. The
success of Hayes means continuation
of Grantism. If so stubborn man al
i Grant is but dough in the hands of the
rings, what shall we say of him whom
the rings seek to make his successor
Besides, Grant indorses HAYES, takes
him to his arms, adopts him as his owr
favorite. Boston Post Dem
A party of picturesque-looking gyp
sizes are telling fortunes for the people
of Cedar Rapids, and the chickens o
Cedar Rapids, grown tired of being con
tinually compared to curses, have re
formed and no longer come home tt
roost, though the curses of their forme
owners are heard lingering around th,
vacant roosts as often as the poultry
keeper opens the door and looks in.--
Darlington Haack Eye. anstagooE +
!, During the recent meetings som
handbills were printed In one of til
neighboring towns headed "Ho! for tn
New Jerusalem" 1t seems that one o
them got over into Salisbury and crea
ted considerable excitement there, a
, most of the prominent citizens hav
, been writing to- ask where the place i
situated, and whether if man wen
there to work by the day he would b
able to get home -Sundays.-Nor,oic
Bulletin. 80 sHH q 1 a ioea92
In 1919 6ve hundred and two live
were saved in Great Britain from shiI
wreck by means of lue- boats, three hur
$ dred and fifty five by rocket and morts
apparatus, five hundred and eleven b
r iluggers, coast guard and other sma
craft, four hundred and forty by ship
and steamboats,, one thousand six hur
dred and forty-fou by ships own boats
8 six by individual exertion, and thre
9 hundred and seventy-nine by othe
, means, making total of three thousan