Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-03-09
Butterwick's Gas-Meter.

During one of the few cold snaps that
we have had Ills winter the gas-meter in
Mr.. Bufferwick's house was frozen. Mr..
Butterwick attempted TO tbaw it out by
pouring hot water over it. but after spend
| ing an hour upon the effort he emerged
from the contest with the meter with his
feet and trowsers wet, his hair full OF dust
and colJwebs, and his temper at fever heat
After studying how he should get rid OF
the ice In the meter, he concluded to use
force for the purpose, and so, seiZing
hot poker. he iammed il through vent
hole and stirred il around inside OF the
rleter with a considerable amount OF
yigor. He felt the ice give away, and he
heard the wheels buzz around with rather
more vehemence than usual. Then he
went upstairs.
He noticed for three or four days that
tie internal machinery OF that meter
seemed TO be rattling around in a remark
able manner. 1t could be heard all
over the house; but he was pleased to
find that II was working again in spite OF
the cold weather, and he retained his Sc
renity.
About two weeks afterward his gas bill
came. II accused him OF burning, dur
ing the quarter, 500, 900 feet OF gas, and
il called on him TO settle 10 the extent
OF nearly $350.0O0. Before Mr.. Butter
wick's hair had had time to descend after
the first shock, he put on his hat and went
down to the gas. office. He addressed one
OF the clerks:
How much gas did you make at the
Blank works last quarter -
Il dunno; about million feet, l
reckon"
"Well, you've charged me in my bill
| for burning half a million more than you
| made / want you 10 correct IT,"
Less see the bill. Hm-m-m-this
| is all right It'staken off the meter. That's
what the meter says"
"Spose'n it does; Icou1dn' have burned
more'n you made"
Can't help that. The meter can't
lie."
Well, but how d'you account for the
difference ~
"Dunno. faint our business To go
nosing and poking around after scientific
truth We depend on the meter. Ii that
saws you burned 5000, 900 feet, why you
psust have burned it, even if we never
| made foot of gas out at the works"
"To tell the honest TRUTH" said Butter
wick, "that meter was frozen, and |
stirred IL up with poker and set it whiz-
zing around
price Just the same" said the clerk.
ave charge for pokers just like we do
for gas"
"You amt actually going to have the
audacity TO ask me to pay $3.50, 900 on ac-
count of that poker?"
:" fit was 100000 I'd take it with a
calmness that would surprise you. Pay
up or we'll turn off your gas"
Turn it off and be hanged" ex-
claimed Butterwick, as he emerged from
the office, tearing his bill to fragments.
Then he went home, and, grasping that
too lavish poker, he approached the
meter. 1t had registered another million
feet since the bill was made out. 1t was
running up score of hundred feet a
minute. In month Butterwick would
have owed the gas company more than the
| United States Government owes its cred
| itors. So he beat the meter into shape.
! less mass, tossed it into the street, and
turned off the gas inside the cellar.
He is now sitting up at nights writing
AN essay ON "Our Grinding Monopolies"
by the light of kerosene lamp.-Phila'
/ 1eL,,ti1 BILLetiH