Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-09-01
From the Toledo Blade.
Nasby.

From the Toledo Blade.
Nasby.
A coSvocATIoN OF DEMOCRAT sruNPERs RE-
CEIvE THEIR INSTRUCTIONS FROM AN AGENT
OF TILDEN-THE HARMONY THAT PREVAILED,
AND HOW 1T WAS BROUGHT ABOUT.
CoNFEDERIT Y ROADS, wich is in the
State of Kentucky, Aug. l4th, 1876.
The men NV indooence and them ez heE
bin appinted to stump the State Nv lnjeany
for the great reformer Tilden, and the tiuan-
shel genius Nv the 18th sentry, Hendrix. met
on the call Nv the chairman Nv the centred
committy, in Injenapolis. yesterday, to be
instructed in their dooties by the grand or
ganixer, wich is maxim toor Nv the differ
ent States doin Nv that.
One Nv the speakers remarked that it wuz
ez hot ez ez HI. and | rebooked him to
wunst.
Don't speek disrespectfully Nv that
place, sed |, the heft Nv our trends are
there. Never hevin scratched the Dino
cratic ticket. bleeve Good be electid to
Congris from that deestrik myself"
The grand organizer got to bizness to-
wanst. He took the Dimocratic platform
and explained it to the speekers so that ther
shood be yoonanimity in their talk, and so
luC1 CldSu III parts
Nv the State, but present yoOniiorm front
to the enemy. lie got to the civil service
plank. and he remarked:
- Gentlemen on this pint yoo must dwell
with great earnestness, and atlmuch length.
Make no mistakes in this. Insist that Ell
Tilden and Hendrix is elected. no man shel
be hisLed out Nv offs becoz Nv his politikle
vews; that no man shel be appinted to offs
becoz Nv servlses to party, and that htnls,
honesty. and sich, wich were Jeffersonyun
tests, shel govern the distribooshen Nv pat
ronage. Remember this and make no mis-
takes about it. This must be dwelt upon"
lmmejitly every one w the stumpers rose
ez one man to his feet, and demanded to be
heerd. They come up in soiid platoons,
and ez glanced along that line Nv shinln
noses. | wuz reminded Nv fire works.
- This is all very well. )" ssd one, " but |
expected that | wuz to be collector Nv the
deestrik, In the event Nv the elechsen Nv the
crate reformer."
will hev the postofis in my town,
or not word will | howl :" shrieked an
other
And every blessed one Nv EN- insistid that
he'd hey place or reform mite 20 to
blazes.
The grand organizer rose, calmly. select
tI n bOoA NUN bul Nv d AlECn VI AAbAN hS
he'd, and addressed hlsselt to the first man
who raised shindy.
- YOor name is"
" Your county p
" Posey."
You are down for collector. see. Uy
course 700 will hey 1t.
/" And what is fixed for me? dsmardid
the second.
" Yoo are to hev the postoiis in your
town. And be fore we 20 any further We
will settle this matter Nv the Othses. We
arranged 1t with yOor c1mmltty at s.
Loois"
And be red out list w the ofh,es in the
State, and VINO wuz to hev en-. There wuz
some trouble. for they all warn't provided
Tor nor wuz those wlch he'd ben prov d
for alluz satisfied with wat he'd bin given
EN-. Ii wuz all fixed, however, Tor IN cOun-
ties wlch he'd DImocratic msjOritle> some Nv
EN- were promised nominations, and quite
number of cOnsulships and small iurrin
mishens were huy in 10 satisfy EN- all.
The next question wuz that come up wuz
how - treet the money question. lnsIruc-
shens wuz asked.
The grand organizer riz TO his ieei.
Lemme see" he sed, wat State am
in? On yes, remember. lnjesny. ind
by reierrIn 10 my Instruckshens, that IN
lnjeaDy 700 must be sott-money-modritiY
n the northern part Nv the State, but ram
PANTY in the extreme southern part. goln
ez tor az Pendleton did. with strong ard
decided leanin toward repoodisshen. Also
down there yoo may sandwich in ez much
NV the niger ez yoO kin git in. 1t 700
hev any old banners lett over from former
campanes denouncin Niger equality and
deprecatin mGrryln niggers, It wood be well
10 trot EN- out agin. Returnin 10 the cur
rency, et any Nv yoo sh0Od be called 10
speek in other States-wIOh yOO probably
won't be- he added, glsncIn at thor faces,
" don I tech the topic at all TIL VOC heV
cOnsultld the lOkle Committees. Be very
kerful about this. And in other States
don't 20 on the platform foil OF hkker, -
ez you shell not hey yOor memories. BE keer-
ful about this. for ct goo shoot make an
lnjeany speech in Connecticut 1t wood room
u Don't git drunk TIL alter the mcetlns.
At j after the people hey all gone home.
Here you may do oz yo0 please, Tor shood
suppose the drunker the man wuz the more
be wood talk TO the satisfaction Nv the In
leauy DImocrisy, but IN Connecticut and
Moo York its different NOO must keep
sober TIL after the meetlns there.
Whereupon the speakers all rose q one
man and remarked that ef 1t WIZ all the
same they didn't want to 20 TO Connecticut
OF any Nv them beastly States to speek.
They wuz simple sons US nacher, and dss-
pis,d a bloated aristoeracy, slca a. the grand
organizer wuz describin.
Then rose.
"SIr, " sed with a stern AMI determined
look. {" one thing more remains. Are We
to 20 out ike the Appossels without scrip
in our purses? That coed be done IN Joodee.
tor that CLINT wuz mild enuf to sleep out
doors, and the Appossels didn't hev whisky
or tobacker to bay. ez | hev bin iniormed d -
never saw IN any Bible ever red any ac-
count Nv ther doln' II.
- w course we can't elec. the CRATE re
! former without money, elacknaud an
| other. - ln nv county hev TO import a
couple Nv hundred uy Irish patriots who
amt nateraliz-d, and there are ten or a
| dozen Irish wet groceries in my town VINO
hev to be arranged with. TO keep em strate
/ Besides one man who heE stone quarry
rekires at least hundred dollars to keep his
men tite enutf to bring EN- IN solid on eieck-
I shun day"
E" Ny frends.i sed the grand organizer,
d" all Nv this hez bin provided for. Do yoo
suppose the Great RelOrmer wood let the
| coz Nv reform be jeOpartlzod Tor want NV
| money? DO yOo suppose thal JOhn MY
rissey wood let Us lgo into the skrimmage
| unproyded? ? He Is rnnnin his three iaro
banks mite and day, and hez pledged all his
profits to the coz We hey sssesstd all the
men to whom we hev promised the Fedrel
| ofises in Moo York. Tor money to kerry
Ipjeany, and we hcv all that we kin
| yoose."
And he gave each Nv US enufto do to wat
| shood be necessary. and instructed Nv Us to
draw on the committy in Moo Nor for more
| ez fast ez it mite be needed. and went bis
way. lie organizes Illinoy next.
| Thus properly provided, both with funds
and instruckshens, 90 gaily out to battle
| Tor the CRATE COZ w reform. l shei work IN
Inieany till after the October eleckshens.
Thank Hevin for a platform with sch
solid planks in it ez civil seryls. reform and
anti-corrupshen, and thank Hevln that we
! hev candidates onto EN- who kin appreshate