The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-04-19

A St. Louis woman says that
good Walter never shows he ankles
and that it is no worse to encircle
lady's waist with your arm than t
hug your friends sister on the bacl
stairs.
A Chicago photographer has in
vented a way of making a large
mouth dimple up and look strawber
ryfed, and he's had TO order three
new cameras and buy twenty-foul
more chairs.
Young ladies who whisper in
church and indulge in writing notes
gives evidence Of being noisy and
troublesome around the Preside al
home, and are not the kind Of mate.
rial Of which good wives are made.
A man in Decetah, Iowa, got some
whisky at drugstore, and while I'm.
der its benign influence had his hands
and feet so badly frozen that they
had to be amputated. Then his
wife sued the druggist for damages,
and recovered $1,000.
A Frenchman who has lived in
America for some years says :"When
they build 4 railroad, the first thing
they do is to break ground. This is
done with great ceremony. Then
they break the stockholders. This is
done without ceremony"
A boy on his way to the Sunday
School found seventy-fve cents.
This good fortune was held ND to
BIN as a reward for being found in
the path Of duty. He was very
much struck with the idea until he
heard that another boy had found a
dollar while setting up pins in a ten
pin alley. And now lie dosn't see
his way in the future quite so clear.
The Judge at a court in Maine re-
Gently sentenced q culpri5 to TWEEN
ty-iive years in the State prison.
This fact was communicated to the
prisoners mother, who was struck
at the magnitude Of the sentence.
"What did they do that for 20 she
exclaimed. twenty-five Y ars!
Why, he won't be contented there
three weeks"
An Iowa paper invested as an appro-
pirate headline for the dispatch about
the meat-shOwer in Kentucky thus:
''That Air Meat"
According to DR.. S. Willis Williams.
for long years residence in China. only
q few thousands of the many millions of
women in that country can read or
write.
At Salt Lake, the other day, a young
lady from the interior entered a store
and called for pair of stockings. The
clerk politely asked her what number
she wore. "Why, two, sir; do you sup
pose am centipede or a tarantula?
How many did you suppose I would
wear?"
One friend to another who has lust
returned from a trip abroad: Did YOU
enjoy your European tour?" every
much, indeed Did you call on any
of the big ones?" YES, | called on
two queens one evening"" "CalIed on
two queens? Was it a pleasant AFFAIR.""
mo, not very; for after I called found
the other chap had three kings
The following specimen of English
pure and undefiled is from the Liverpool
Times: A doctor was lately summoned
to a cottage at Harwood in Teasdale.
and found a boy in need Of his services.
Put out your tongue" said the doctor.
The boy stared like an owl ''My good
boy" requested the medical man, 'Iet
me see your tongue" ''Talk English,
doctor" putin the mother, and then,
tuning to her son, she said ''Hoppen
thy gObbler and put out thy lOliker"
The boy rolled out his tongue in a mo-
ment.
+ O1Ic,, CO., L., -, - -, - - !.
away his Irish butler for no exemplary
conduct, but who, like most masters,
was willing to make the best of him
when he was going to plague somebody
else, made this parting speech: 81 have
said you are honest, John, with good
conscience; but l have stretched a point
in saying you are sober" 'Sure, your
honor, could you not stretch another
poiut, and say | am frequently sober?"
The custom Of making ones bed
as soon as one is up is as filthy as
it is unhygienic, It should be left
open till at least q portion Of the in
sensible perspiration that has been
absorbed by it during the night has
had time to pass away. A person
may be known as certainly by the !
bed he chooses to sleep in as by the |
company he keeps, The bedstead |
may be plain pine, the bed of straw,
the linen coarse and cheap, but re-
Iinement will still show itself in
BelInap says, and probably with
some show of truth. that the initial
steps in the Fort Sill post-tradership
business were taken by members of
lis family without his knowledge.
# this be so, the case of the Presi-
lent is morally worse than that Of
he Secretary Of War, for the former
his brother Orvill with the
necessary to enable
i'm to make money by peddling out
'ost traderships. the President know
1g the use his brother was to make
f this information. BY the by, when
he Republicans were engaged in
Andrew Johnson, how
hey would have rejoiced to find
acts in regard to Johnson and a
lembef of his family like those
rought out before Clymer's COM
littee concernin e the Grants.
!. e. SHEP AR ID,