The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-02-03
ODDS AND ENDS.

WHAT is the difference between hill
and a pill? One is hard to get up and
the other is hard to get down.
FIFTEEN million brooms are manufac-
tured annually in the United States.
And yet men will get married.
BARNUM's Circassian girl has knit a
pair of stockings entirely from her own
hair. She lives now in Reading, Pa.
THE editor who was told that his last
article was as clear as mud promptly re-
piled, "Well, that covers the ground,
anyhow"
eyes, want my daughter to study
rhetoric" said Vermont mother; "for
she can't fry pancakes now without
smoking the house all up"
THE Oakland, California, Gas Com
pany has been petitioned to paint the
street lamp-posts white, so that they may
be found readily on dark nights.
No Chinese bank has failed for five
hundred years. When the last failure
took place the officers heads were cut off
and flung in corner with the other as
| sets.
"a VIOLENT and uncomfortable tenn
|
at Boston for declining to serve. After
careful investigation the Court excused
him.
THERE was a grand banquet reunion
of commercial travellers at st. Joseph,
Mo-, the other day, at which about three
hundred were present. Cheek in every
style was served, with hard sauce.
THE Brooklyn Argus says: The crudity
of religious information at the West is
we'll illustrated by tradition which ex-
tensively prevails that a Baptist is a man
who puts water in his whisky.
"No one would take you for what you
are" said an old-fashioned gentleman,
day or two ago, to dandy who had
more hair than brains. "Why?" was
Immediately asked. because they can
not see your ears"
ABAD COLD.
Pve caught cold
l don't know how;
Igo" "k-chu-z"
When " k-chow"
And when try,
Like Chinee,
To say "p-kitzr
/ say "k-chee"
A SWEET little boy, only eight years
bless his little heart-walked. into
scene of teachers examination, at
Oswego, last week, and bawled out, can
ME, your fellow is down to the house, r.
FOUR wives in Virginia City cele-
brated New Year by christening. their
babies, and fifth wife being present,
cried herself into Mysteries because she
had no baby with which to celebrate.
NORWICH Bulletin: Twelve hacks went
over to the AS train yesterday after
noon, and brought back one passenger.
which is an average of four cents hack.
And yet people wonder why hackmen
are profane.
Punch once told droll story of man
who, being suddenly raised to riches,
exclaimed, in the fullness of his satisfac-
> ton, "Oh, that l could stand in the road
I and see myself ride by in my own car
> riageH
THERE are now eight pin factories in
>, the United States, which make At ,OO0,-
: 900 pins daily. But the average school,
boy wonders why they are not bent in
the right shape to place on chair with
. the point up.
+ A wAGGIsH speculator, one OF nu'
|. merous family in the world, recently
=. said: give years ago, l was not worth
+ a penny in the world; now see what am
!. throug h my own exertions!" "Well,,
. where are you?" why, thousand
:, dollars in debt"
VERY properly the Boston Traveller
h reminds its lady readers, while talking
h of the latest things in bonnets. and its
l. friends of the other sex, conversing over
d the latest failures in business, that the
e two topics have closer relation to each
e other than is usually supposed.
3, "WILL your Honor please charge thu
:; Jury ?" asked an Arkansas lawyer, at tn!
l. conclusion of a horse-thief trial. 8
If WILL" said his Honor. "The Cour
n charges each juryman one dollar fol
,r drinks, and six dollars extra for the ont
n. who used the Courts hat for spittool
tie during the first day of the session."