The Leavenworth weekly times., 1876-02-03

hook an elderly gentleman. The real diifi-
Guilty is in landing him. When
once re is fastened by his prom ise,
he must be played 18th great care,
or ne will escape btIore he is finally gatIei
by an efficient marrisge ceremony. Until
then he is always prone 10 seek refuge IN
inaccessible places, from which neither
coaxing nor peiting can dislodSe him, or
to suddenly b-eak his promise and dart
away into some secret and secure hiding
place. In the present instance the Massa-
chusetts widow played her prize 80 firmly
and tenderly that he was finally successful
ly landed. Unfortunately, she then relax
ed her vigilance, neryer dreaming that he
would 50 lar revive as to leap back into his
original celibacy, and accomplish his es-
cape. Let other widows note her careless
ness and its consequences, and save them
selves from disappointment and humilia-
| tion.
No sooner WIS the marriage ceremony
ended tian 40 Lappv bride directed her
4 husband TO run back TO his house and
bring his bonds and mortgages, so that
they might begin to enjoy happy honey
moon. The husband went, but as ION as
he had entered his house he was seized by
his relatives and safely locked up. He had
made will in their favor, and they had
no intention OF allowing it to be unmade
| by a new and unwelcome wife. His pro-
| longed absence disturbed the bride, who
sent carriae= to hasten his return but
the carriage came back empty, and the
| drivers mind was too much confused b.
strong language, broken crockery, and pals
of water to explain the reason why his pre-
sentation OF a written order to deliver TO
bea-er one elderly bridegroom" had given
rise TO so much vigorous discussion. The
bride at once comp: hended the true state Of
affairs, and armed herself with pistol and
Irishman and stormed her husbands pris-
on. The battle was short but fierce. From
his remote dungeon, the imprisoned hus-
band could be heard cheering on the assail-
ants, but there were too many bolts on tie
front door, too many determined maiden
sisters, ard too much available crockery in
the house to render its capture possible by
the assaulting column. The bride was
beaten back, after performing prodigies of
valor with long pole against the parlor
windows, and she has since appealed TO the
law for assistance. A suit for the forcible
theft of a valuable husband, whose photo
graph is annexed tC the complaint, and
marked Schedule A." is now pending, and
it remains TO be seen whether it looks upon
as tero naturde, and hence incapable OF be-
ing made the subject of an action for trover
and conversion.
The lesson conveyed by this affecting
narrative hardly needs to be emph asized.
1t is warning to widows never to let
freshly-caught husband pass out of their
hands bu: to carry him off the moment
the marriage ceremony is completed, and to
keep him locked up until his spirit is broken
and the rage of his relatives has sub.ided
Had the Massachusetts, bride pursued this
course, she would not now be suffering from
the humiliation of having her husband
locked up in somebody else's two-pair back,
while she herself cannot stand below his
prison windows and ask for one word Of
affection from his beloved lips, and one five
dollar bill from his adored pocket, without
incurring scathing insults and scalding
water at the hands OF her husbands cruel
jailers. Eternal vigilance is the price of
an elderly and rich husband, and widows
who fancy that for them eternity ends and
vigilance becomes unnecessary as soon as
they have married their latest prize, should
revise their opinion, and redoubie their
precautions until the honeymoon has pass
ed at least through its first quarter.