Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-01-13
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

IA strong mana shop-lifter.
--Toasts are often drunk likewise those
who drink them.
domestic magazines wives who blow
up their husbands.
The centennial year will be q good,
Tong, full, plump year OF 366 days.
rabbits are 80 numerous on the Beaver
River. In Utah, that 1t is impossible TO
1raisc crops.
When Is soldiers ammunition box
like country roady When 1t is full OF
cartridges.
1T Is proposed to hold an exhibition
illustrating electrical science and its APP
plicaGions, in Paris, next year.
--H Keep cool, darling" said Brook
fyn wife 70 her scolding husband AZ she
dashed q pitcher of icc-water over his
head.
--stsfistics are given TO prove that Of
the sum total Of human misery, physical
and mental, women have 10 bear TWO,
Ghirds.
Did the lawyers Of this country ever
stop to think that when Brigham Young
dies there will be the biggest contested
will case on record?
There are sixteen patent devices war
ranfcd to save gas.consumcrs pockets, but
nothing In this dark world looms up like
an old fashioned candle.
Why Ii man vino makes additions
10 false rllmors like one who has conf
dence in all that Is told himf Because he
t.eIies on all that he hears.
"A solemn looking chap surprised
Boston policeman the other day by asking
him IL Charles Summers funeral pro
cessiou had passed along yet.
What with stocking .darncrs, knitting
and sewing machines, apple-parcrs, wash.
e1s and wringers, woman as necessity ~
fading from the face Of the earthly. r.
World.
The last words Of the San Jose (Cal.)
Adnsyfiser were: We entered the jour.
nalistie field on a business proposition,
and on the same proposition we know
when IL Ii time to die, and we arc dead"
"A couple at Brownsville and Waynes-
burg, Pa, did their sparkling and were
married by telegraph. Both are opera
tors" Like 10 bet they will be divorced
before year, by thunder.--Chtcogo Inter
Ocean,.
The Olympia Transcript, having
learned HAT cargo of 600 Chinese are on
r0etx b Washington Territory, expresses
the ardent and humane hope that the ship
may sink, widi all on board, before 1t
makes port.
IA old veteran was relating his OK.
pl0fS xoA crowd Of boys, and mentioned
bc3nr In five engagements. THAT'S moth.
ing. broke In sharp little fellow. My
sister Agnes has been engaged morc'n
eleven times"
"A French editor wants murdcrcrs as.
sassinatcd instead Of guillotincd. He mr.
CUES that II would be good joke 10 turn
diem loose and have an assassin follow
them around and jab them when they
least expected II.
When yousee woman with "A rawbide
aid in the back drapcry Of her morning
wrapper, and calling William Henre-ce
In key about four octaves above high &,
you may know that whaling expedition
IL about 10 set sail.
In Newark, the other day, a fashion.
able mother said to the family physician,
In the presence Of her three giggling,
frivolous daughters: Doctor, how can
we improve our girlsY' by improving
the Mothers" was the gruf reply
fine New York Times laughs at the
proposition 10 provide Territorial Gov.
ernment for the forty-flvc white people
of Alaska, which Ii the number IL sets
down AS the white population OF that Ter.
ritory. IL says IL would be better 10 ad-
vertisc Alaska 10 let
The Washington elm at Cambridge,
under which Washington drew his sword
and took command Of the Continental
armies, Ii ylsibly decaying, because It's
ancient roots have been deliberately un.
tlcrmincd and cut through by the Canta-
brigham municipal government In order 10
make way for public sewer!
"A cheap swindle has been discovered
in New York and Brooklyn. Men would
purchase some small article In store,
paying one.dollar, two.dollar or fve-dol.
lar notes. On counting their change they
would complain that II was short fifteen or
twenty five cents, and generally succeed
ed la obtaining that extra amount. Sew
,eral of them have been arrested.
"A little five-year.old boy was being In
rstructed In morals by his grandmother.
The old lady told him that all such terms
as " by goliy," "by lingo" by thunder"
etc, were only minced oaths and but y,
lie better than any other profanity. In
TACT, she said, no could tell profanc oath
by the prefix "by." All such were oaths.
.FWell, then, grandmother, said The lit
tie hopeful there's big oath In the
ncwspapers--' by telegraph. ~ The old
lady gave II up and the boy Is bewildered
on morals
California Is shaken through her
whole ten degrees Of latitude by furious
contest over the subject Of school-books.
The State Board Of Education were about
10 award the contracts for reading books
TO he used throughout the State, when
Wilson, Hinkle i Co., a firm OF Cincin.
natl, apprehensivc that the award would
he given TO Pacific coast firm procured
an injunction on the State Board. This
Is the Hight In which II is placed by the
State papers, whose indignation against
such ''impudence" In an Eastern firm
lis hot.