The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1876-03-02
NEWS AND VARIETY.

It'was observed of a deceased lawyer
that he had left but few effects to which
lady remarked that che had but few
causes"
Curran was once asked by one of his
brother judges: "Do you see anything
ridiculous in this wigP" "Nothing but
the head" was the reply.
AT recent ainnerin the mountains of
Spain, ,given to Don Carlos the principal
toast, "Viva King Charles WIZ was
drunk standing The King himself, it is
added, was drunk sitting,
"What kind of man is Squire Sim
monds, anyway" "Well you've seen
them snow storms along early in winter,
when there's q good deal of wind and
not much sleighing? That's the sort
he is"
A young man searching for his fathers
pig, accosted an Irishman as follows :
"Have you seen stray pigabout hereW
To which Pat responded, "Faix, and
how could | tell stray pig from any
other?"
A gentleman was examining an UNI
brella and commenting upon its fine
quality EYES," said a person present,
''he fancies everything he Sees" "And,"
added a third party, sis inclined to seize
everything he fancies."
A Down. Easter, while travelling in the
West, happened on one Of its representa-
tive tavern. keepers, of whom he asked
what could be furnished for dinner?
"Anything from a snipe to an elephant"
was the reply. 81 will take a piece of
elephant" said the Down-Easter. "You
will have to take a whole one" was the
rejoinder; 1--WE never cut Them"
There are now eight pin factories in
the United States, which make AZ 900, 900
pins daily. In addition to these the i'm
portation of pins reach 25,000i000 daily.
As these are all easily sold, it is safe to
say that 72,000,000 of pins are lost daily,
or $4,000 every minute. Where they all
90 to is the wonder. This wonder was
long ago set at rest. They are swept out
upon the ground and become terra pins.
The laws are generally equal to all cir
cumstances. In order to get iurymen
whose minds have not cen made up,
men are selected with very little mind to
make up.
The Duke of Norfolk, who paid too lit
tie attention to his personal appearance,
called on Abernethy, and sought to learn
the cause of his ailments, Did your
grace eyer try clean shirt ?" asked the
doctor.
1t vas computed by the late Mr.. May
hew, IN his work on the london Poor"
that during the months Of October and
November, or what is termed the coster-
monger's fish season, S0O,O000OO her
rings are disposed of in the streets OF
London alone.
Is this the way to Aberdeen ?" asked a
gentleman of a man who was breaking
stones. "Noo. whaur did you come frae? ??
was the thoroughly Scotch answer.
"What business is it of yours where
came from?" returned the gentleman,
angrily. "Ou, jist as muckle as it is
whaur ye're gaun," replied the lapidary,
quietly resuming his occupation.
The following specimen of English pure
and undefiled is from the Liverpool
Times: A doctor was lately summoned
moned to cottage at Harwood in Teas
dale, and found a bey in need of his SER
vices. Put out your tongue" said the
doctor. The boy stared like an owl,
"My good boy" requested the medical
man Ulpt me see Vour tOnpue" "Talk
English, DOCTOR" put in the mother, and
then, turning to her son, she said: "Hop-
pen thy gobbler and put out thy loliker."
The boy rolled out his tongue in mo-
ment.