The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1876-05-13
BUBBLES.

$50 far, SO good" as the boy said
when he finished the first pot of his moth
er's jam.
They are shipping apples from Grand
Rapids to Rotterdam, Holland. They pack
them so that they wont Rotterdam bit on
the way.
-"I hate to hear people talking behind
ones back, as the robber said when the
constable was chasing him and crying
"Stop thief"
Its an old one, but ten to one you
don't know when d cabbage is like cou-
rier. 1t never happens until cabbage is
one cent a head.
If a young lady wishes young gen.
tleman to kiss her, what papers should she
mention No Spectator, no Observer, but
as many Times as you please.
"A little boy gazing upon an old picture
of his mother, taken in low dress, re-
marked: Mamma, you was mos ready
for bed when dat picter was tooken.'
"A juryman was asked if the judge had
charged him. "Faith," said he, I" the lit
tie fellow lectured us good deal, but
don't think he means to charge us for it.
"A man who bought one thousand
cigars this week, on being asked what he
had, replied that they were tickets to a
course of lectures to he given by his wife.
-" What branches of learning have you
been pursuing at school today" said
father to his son. "None in particular,
sir; but a birch branch has been pursuing
me-"
old Sam b, a carpenter of Tren-
ton, was engaged to build a fence, and was
consulted as to the best material for posts.
"Locust, madam, locust; the darned stuff
will last a lfe-time; I've tried um twice."
The man who, on hearing that Mr..
Tyler had been upset while crossing the
Ohio river in canoe, deliberately remarked
that it was a case of "Tip a canoe and
Tyler, too" is to have free pass to the
Centennial.
Anatomical Discovery.-For long
to account for the force with which the
waves beat against the shore, and it has
recently come to light that it arises from
the fact of there being muscles in the
sea.
An Indianapolis couple were divorced.
The man afterward under an assumed
name, advertised for wife. A lady re-
piled. He sought an interview under q
gas lamp. 1t was she! They were remar-
ried.
"A young lady from the rural districts
entered a dry goods store the other day,
and asked for pair of stockings. The
clerk politely asked her what number she
wore. "Why, two, you blasted fool; do
you suppose am centipede, or have
wooden leg?"
lyon cannot keep me down." shouted
somewhat windy orator at public meet
ing in New Bedford; "though l may be
pressed below the waves, rise again; you
will find that come to the surface, gentle
men," EYES," said an old greaser in the
audience, you come 10 the surface to
blow.'
She merely left a tub full of suds on
the back steps, and he went out after dark
for scuttle of coal. and as he stepped into
the tub and slid down into the back yard
in shower of suds, he swore by all the
classic gods and by seventeen Japanese
saints that he would have a divorce within
a month.
1t was only month ago that he pro-
missed to love, cherish, and protect her,
and yesterday morning when she asked
whether she should split up the head of the
flour barrel or steal an armful of kindling
wood from the back yard of their next
neighbor, he rolled over with his face to
the wall and told her to 60 to thunder.