Daily Kennebec journal., 1876-10-07
A SILENT BENEFACTOR.

Mr. Cooley suffered good deal last win
ter from rheumatism in his breast, and his
wife was badly frightened about it for fear
1t should end in consumption. Cooley
could not be indnced to try any remedy
ly worried to death about it, At last she
determined to try strategy. She made up
dry mustard plaster and one night while
he was asleep she sewed it upon the inside
of his undershirt, SO that it would just
cover the rheumatic place. Cooley dressed
himself in the morning, wholly unsuspic-
ious OF the presence of the plaster, and
went down stairs. At the break fast table.
while he was talking to his wife, he sud-
denly'stepped, looked cross-eyed, and a
spasm of pain passed over his face. Then
he look up the thread Of conversation
again and went on He was in the midst
OF an explanation of the political situation,
when all at once he ceased again, grew
red in the face. and exclaimed:
II wonder what in lhe-No, il can't be
anything wrong"
Mrs. Cooley asked what was the matter,
and Cooley said:
''Oh, it is that Internal old rheumatism
again-come back awful. But | never
felt itsxactly the same way before. Kind
erMings me- Mrs. Cooley said she was
ssrrv.L z A. A~& u 8 ~ -
Then Mr.. Cooley began again, and was
just showing her how the ravages of the
grasshopper in the West last summer, and
the potato bug in the East would affect the
political result next fall by making the
people discontented and so likely TO strike
at the party in power, when he suddeply
dropped the subject. and jumping up.
said :aI&p
Thunder and lightning, what's that ?
Ouch . Moses feels il had shovel
at bot Goals inside my shirt
Must be that rheumatism, getting
worse," said Mrs. Cooley, sympathetically.
''Oh, gracious, no! It's something
worse than rheumatism. Feels like fire
burning into my skin. Ouch Ow-wow-
WOW. It's awful. | can't stand 1t min
ute. believe it's cholera, or something,
and I'm going to de-
"Do try to be calm, Mr.. Cooley"
Calm How can man be calm with a
volcano boiling over under his shirt. Get
out OF the way, quick. while 90 up stairs
and undress. Murder-r-r-r-r, but it hurts
Let me get out, quick"
Aucu Hc IusHtu UP 10 tnO DeurOOm anu
stripped of his clothes. His chest was the
color of boiled lobster; but he couldn't
for the life of him tell what was the mat
ter. Then his eyes rested upon something
white on his shirt. He picked up the gar
ment and examined it. Ten minutes later
he came slowly down stairs with dry
mustard plaster in his hand. while thun-
der clothed his brow.
Going up TO Mrs Cooley, he shook the
plaster uuder her nose, and said in u sup
pressed voice:
"Dii you put that thing in my cothes?''
II did il for the best. John" she said.
Il though"
"Oh. never mind what you thought, you
idiot! Never mind what you thought |!
You've taken The skin clear off my bosom.
SO that Pm as raw as sroin steak, and
I'll probably never be well again as long
as | live. That lets you out. You play
any more tricks like that on me, and Iii
put you in the coal bin and keep you there
till you starve to death. Now mind me- y
Then he slammed the door and wen,
out. Mrs. Cooley doesn't know to this
day exactly what effect the grasshopper,
are going 10 have on the fall elections.