The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1876-02-24
4 BUDGET or sBLUNDERS,.
@ Appletons' Journal1.

= BUDGET Or BLUMDERs. J.
..:zE; , [Appletons' Journal] 81 e..
There are certain phenomena in public
life which surprise Us BY their evenness
and the regularity Of their movements.
When these regular events are broken IN
upon. and are disturbed, We are quick to
notice the impelling cause, but We fail to
be impressed with the wide field there is
for more Interruptions. We arc quick
enough to pass judgment upon railway
officials when ever accidents occur. but
the great wonder is, with our. immense
country and our travelling public, a that
! BRIDGES do not break, and locomotives
run away, and steamboats, explode, more
frequently than they do. And this il
just IS true of public and Of social life.
ltjis amarved that there are not more
mistakes made in the presence of: Z mis-
cellaneous audience, when once we realize
how easy a matter it is to spoil lecture,
concert, or service by the irrelevant in.
PRODUCTION of some ludicrous element.
1t isa great wonder, too, when We re.
member their power. that little children
when in company do not create more
awkward scenes by the Juggling in of con-
traband subjects of conversation. "
A story is told of celebrated .Ameri.
can preacher who was repreved by .
friend because he got off 50 many funny
things from the pulpit. rs.
''keally, now, my dear BROTHER said
the friend, II cannet come to hear you
any more until you promise me not to
Joke so!''
SWELL, my dear friend,'' replied the
preacher, IF you only knew how many
good things came up to the surface which
didn't get off, you would give me credit
for the few which do slip out!''
If, as it has been said, there is some.
thing sad in the sight Of a large audience,
there are times when ii impresses the
speaker rather with sense Of the ludic-
rous. People in listening to a speaker
try to put on their cleverest look. as if
they understand it al, and when the speak
er himself has lost his subject, nominative
and verb, and feels that he is talking non.
sense for the moment, the unabashed at
tention and wise looks Of his hearers are
food for side train Of amusing reAec.
tions.
"What did you think Of my serlncn!''
asked Clergyman Of IN intimate friend.
ibid you notice anything curious about
it when Was about halfway through
Yesterday aftcrnoon!''
He had lost all idea Of his third point
in an extemporaneous address, and was
foundering about like Milton's Satan in
the chaotic bog, trying to go out on solid
ground again.
"Well'' answered the friend, 81 thought
something was wrong, but, as I was sure
you could not lose yourself, concluded ]
must have fallen asleep fer mo-
ment, and thus have lost the thread Of
the DISCOURSE
The subject Of professional Blunders'
came up at clerical dinner-company
! some time ago, and the questions went
round to each as follows: "Were you
ever so placed in public in the perform;
ance of service as to loose oil sense oil
the solemnity of the occasion and be com
PEELED to laugh in spite Of your most Sc
r;ous self?
The following are some of tho answers
as revealing the hidden but unforgotteu
experiences of ministerial accidents. Case
number one as follows:
II was holding prayer.meeting in o
Western town in the early days Of my
ministry, and, Us there was no one ia
raise the tune, tried myself, to do it.
The hymn began
The hyssoR purge the servant, Lord,
My first attempt was failure; when
tried tune number two found it was q
long metre; tune number three was
another long metre, and as had come te
the end Of my stock, stood still for q
few moments looking at the page. There
upon an old woman stood up by the door
and spoke out in shrill. piping voice
You don't seem to get on very we'll with
hyssop, suppose you try some other yarb!
What could do but burst out with all.
conquering laugh, or die if suppressed
it!''
Here was case number two:
II was conducting the funeral of q
parishioner, and, supposing that the
choir was present, gave out the hymn.
to raise the tune, I boldly essayed to do
it. But to my horror, I found it was toe
short for the words; no one could follow
ME in my frightening process, so l had
it all my own way, and sang it as solo.
When came to verse No two, thought
for long time, and then, feeling sure
I was right this time, pitched the tune,
but it was so high that could not pre-.
tend to follow it, and left it for two or
three volunteer ladies to carry on as best
they could. But to my dismay, l found
that even this would not do; It was q
long.metrc tune to common.metre hymn.
and it come to an ignominious close at the
end Of the second line. The words were
solemn, the occasion was solemn, / felt
for the mourners, felt for myself. but,
wanting to be brave and prevail over the
difficulty, stood moment and then
struck up again. This time was down
in the very depths in my effort not to
get it too high, and again was on long.
metre, which could not make short
enough for the.hymn. Do what would
I could not tuck it in, and the hymn -
Hear what the voice from heaven declares:
is forever ruined for me. No wonder
that family never wanted to have Dr.
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