The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1876-05-18
OLE nESSTRT.


Birdie" is what a young husband
eondly calls his wife, because, as he
saws, she is always associated IN has
mind with a bill.
The average journalist can work like
n mule and with the briiiiancy OF q
headlight to % locomotive, and still be
abused by an ungrateful public.
''rhou Hast Loved Me ond Left Me,
for TWENTY-FIVE cents" is the latest case
OF hcarsless desertion, and may be seen
in the window of Il music publisher.
Just about this season Of the yeGra
good many women imagine that they
know how to whitewash a ceiling as
well as any man who ever wore boots.
An Iowa reporter told q lady artist
that she would some day rank with the
old mistresses." He is still trying to
explain to her that he meant to pay her
a compliment.
There are ten widowers in the United
States Senate. When they pass the
Treasury building they hear musical
murmurs of $50 noble looking" Such
% boyish walk.
An exchange asks "who is to sue
coed A. 7. Stewart rs money prince OF
America" We know who has been
spoken of for the place, and feel graft
fed for the compliment, but we Go not
want it.
The first day Artemus Ward entered
Toledo, travel worn and seedy, he SAID
to an editor who was on the street,
"Mister, where could | get Il square
meal for twenty-five cents! lie was
told. Il say, Mister said he, "where
could I get twenty-five cents?'
A beautiful female lobbyist says that
one tear, if it can be SO shed as to re-
fleet tie light OF a bright setting sum-,
will nave more power over the average
congressman than all the arguments
that could be compressed into n two
hours conversation.
A Young and beautiful widow was
ahont to marry a rich old widower. Her
friends wished to know whatshe wanted
to marry him for, She replied: 'tor
pure love. I love the ground'-mean-
ing the estate, probably-"on which he
walks.
MADAM" cynically observed a gen
tleman to a leader of fashionable socle-
ty in Washington, woman doesnt
,eem TO be as much of It 'clinglng vine
IA she once was" That's because of
the extreme insecurity Of the manly
oak" she replied.
A lady having accidentally broken
her smelling bottle, her husband, VINO
was very petulent, said to her: y de-
clare, my dear, everything that belongs
TO o is more or less broken. True,
replied the lady, for even you are II
little cracked
A Chicago doctor says that superstl-
ton often kills people who are other
wise fitted for a long life. That may
be so, but what is a fellow to do when
his grandmother's ghost pokes hmm III
the ribs at midnight and Whispers:
''Refund that ~money-your hour has
~arrovei"
"What are You drawing, Anna?'
Use making your pictur. 80 the
gentleman sat very still, and she work
ed away earnestly for a little while.
Then she stopped, compared her work
with the original, and shook her little
head. ~ don't like it much, she said.
"'Tain't a great deal like You. L dess
I'll put a tail to it and call it a dog.
A wag, strolling with a friendthrough
a country church yard, called attention
to a grave, the stone Of which had no
name or inscription on j. This,
said II lis the grave Of the once
notorious gambler, Mr.. . You viii
observe that there is no name recorded
on the tombstone, but ! think ! could
suggest a very appropriate epitaph.
ssWAat would you sugsest?' inquired
his friend. "Waiting for his last
trump" was the reply.
What is that which has three feet but
nc legs, is all body but no limbs, has
no toes on his feet, no head, moves a
great deal and never uses its ieet Tor
that purpose, has one foot at each end
and the other in the center Of It's body?
This is a queer creature in some re-
spects, and is very popular among the
ladies and scme men. 1t never walks
out, but goes with one foot where its
head might be, dragging the other foot
behind. These feet have nails, but no
toes, no heels, and no bones IN the foot.
A yard measure.