Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-08-23
"A Little Fun Now and Then.
The Mormons have been in Utah
81, ~,oov,

luc NAOTmOuS uuVe Dccn III u CAIl
twenty nine years.
A Georgia planter is about to send
Governor Tilden a fifty-threc pound
watermelon. He should remember
Crate Browns fate.
How cool and nice it would be to
fall down a well l-Detron Free
Press. Provided you didn't kick the
Observation-Disclosures Bulletin.
Charles Lamb, when speaking of
one Of his rides on horseback, re-
marked that "all at once his horse
stopped, but he kept right on"
Jennie June has just offered new
prayer to the Lord: "For Heavens
sake let us get rid of the rubbish al
the back Of our skirts"
Twenty thousand citizens of New
York have petitioned the Postmaster
General to reinstate the salaries OF
letter-carriers at 81, 600 per anum.
A thief in Evansville, Indiana
stole the contribution box out of q
church. He evidently went there to
prey.-N. Y. Commercial Advertiser
"The hardest trial of my life," said
good old Deacon Barnes, "was Il
shed tears at the news that my wife's
uncle had died and left her $4,000
The watchmen in the city watch
towers of New York are not allowed
to read or occupy themselves in any
way while on duty. They are reliev
ed every six hours.
The present style of ladies pull
back still arrests the gaze of the Low
ers of the marvellous, and attracts, al
with an irresistible charm, the pen
sive student of anatomy.-BroOkly,
argus.
On the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES ails yo,
there, poor Ralph? You seem over
powered by sorrow" "Alas! m,
friend, 1 have been deceived by my
sweethearts-all three of them a
once !"
The Chinese Government has pub
lished vast collection Of historical
documents concerning the rebellion
in China from 1849 to 1868. Thes,
leviathans of histories are comprised
in TAB volumes.
"Brick" Pomeroy perhaps know
what he is talking about when h
says that IL cost Tilden, the "Reform
err" $1,000 to surround and capture
the st. Louis Convention.
| The mean man of the Chicago
Times seizes his pen and remarks
"The peppermint crop of Wayn
county will reach half q million thi
year. Now bring on your belly
aches"
! General Dix, one of the last of tn
soldiers of 1872, is writing his autobi
ography. He is a-pen- Dix.-Graphie
The veteran general will define hi
position in solid, Dix-shuniar,
style.-Eceainy bulletin.
| Every man who reads the Lord
Prayer and Ten Commandment
knows that the Republicans SHOULD
be driven from power.-NeW Yor
Cypress. But how are the Democrat
to find it out ?-Harlford Couyant.
| It is an interesting fact that on
word daughter, when traced back
through the Greek thHgater to ii
source in the Sanscrit dujsityi, is fnun,
to be equivalent to milkmaid, show
J ing that 1t was the duty of the oil
time maidens to milk the cows.
The first Chinaman who went /
meddling with the rails of the ne,
railroad near Shanghai was arrested
tried, tied up in bag and droppe
, of q high bridge in less than an houl
with q warning that the next case @
attempted train-wrecking would b.
dealt with more severely.
The managers of q BROOKLYN GENE
terry advcrtises: "Graves finely sit
uated, surrounded by the beauties O
nature, commanding q fine view Of tn
bay, and, in short, meeting every re
quirement of the human family. Pee
pie who have tried them cannot
persuaded to 60 elsewhere"
Biddy-"Did yez liver see fine
wake, nicer funeral or purtie
corpse than Padd'ys?" Kate-"Nive
! a wanst." Biddy-"And do yez kno,
I Paddy was that natural lOike, had
; come to life and got out of his cofh
to see himself in It, be-dad, he hin
self wouldn't have known he We
dead"
. A New York paper drops into at,
? tistics and demonstrates that fam
3 ly of six, with one servant, can spen
E three months in Europe at less Q,
pense than at Saratoga or New
: port. The cost of the foreign tour
fixed at $500, and that of quartz
at the watering place at enough I
/. break up millionaire in twenty mil
utes.
I Occasionally BARRIERS get hold of
poor quality of bay rum, aud whe
e such is applied to the face of a ma
: just shaved, it slnarts like fire for
8 few minutes. A case Of this kind o.
4 Cured in one Of our barber shops u
: other day. "Whoopl hold! Hol
I Moses!" yelled the man, springin
: wild from the chair, and clasping b
+ burning cheeks with both hands
Q syou may skin me-that's oil right
: but I'll be essentially cussed IL II
|, going to have pepper sauce rubbe
on sfterward. Now, do you hea