Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-11-15
Wit and HunlOr.

Othello," said: "Upon which the
Moor, selling bolster full of rags and
fury, smothers her"
II RANCHMAN has observed a. hole in
the mountains near Truckee, CAL, large
enough Tor the Mammoth Cave in Ken
lucky to go into and turn around in.
Two deaf mutes discussed politics in
New York city, the other evening be-
fore an audience composed almost OK
cluslvely of persons who never had
heard sound in their lives.
"ITs' all for the best" rem arked
Bllnks, with sign, as he paid for the
hat he had lost. "Nay," internosed
the lucky man, "'tis all for the better"
B]inks accepted the amendment.
IT will be a matter of disannoint-
ment to many to learn that Sergeant
Bates has decided not to carry the
Russian flag through Turkey Just at
present.
soMEBoDx remarks that young
ladies look upon q bow as a. nuisance
until ne is past the age of sixteen,
when be generally doubles up in value
each year, until, like meerschaum
PiPo, A0 is priceless.
UGH, ugh !" says Sitting Bull, "me
heap wish cruel war be over; else,
winter ne be gone-all same. Heap
org brave no like crawl long snowbank
shoot white sojer. Ugh, ugh freeze
lnJun like UNI rattlesnake."
a PHYSICIAN, meeting merry Young
lazy, inquired if he could do anything
Ior her; Having just returned from
fnlladelphia, she replied: "Oh, yes
l nave a hemorrhage of the pocket
BOOK" "Well," said he, with "irre-
slstlble" III the corner Of his eve, 81
1nnk nitrate Of silver will best agree
with you"
A FARMER who had sent bale of
cotton to q warehouse instructed a
merchant to have the same sold. The
merchant complied with the request,
aad the staple was disposed Of. The
farmer upon examining his statement.
was heard muttering to himself: "Dray-
age, wharfage, mistakeage, storage,
leakage, weighage-well, I'll take the
balance out il fghtage."
The following notes were handed in
to a Michigan jury while they were de-
Iberat1ng on 8 case: Of: If you bring
verdict of guilty against the accused
we Will never buy an article of cloth
ing in your store" &C.: If you say
guilty we will never take another drink
at your place." ''T.: IF you find YER
dict OF guilty we will never buy soup
tureen at your house."
A PEDAGoGUE told one told one of his
scholars, a son of the EN- erald Isle, to
spell hostility, "H-o-r-s-e horse" began
Pat. " Not horsetility," said the teach
er, "but hostility" 'Sure," replied
Pat, Fan didn't We tell me, the other
day, not to say moss? Be jabers, it's
one thing wild We one day, and another
the MKT,
A CHINAMAN at the Centennial wants
nouthful Of new teeth. A civilized
joker gave the heather lot of
walnuts and lie cracked 'ern as you
would SO many chestnuts. The effort
made bis eyes stand more than ever,
and his teeth snap off like pipe stems.
q" Alice same shells tufee like bullets"
he remarked as the sixth tooth snapped
of.-Nor. Herald.
YESTERDAY g. horse doctor was
brought up in the Supreme Court as a
witness. His replies to the numerous
questions offered were in an exceeding
ly low tone, and one or the members
of the bar at last spoke out sharply that
he must reply so that he could be un-
derstood, or he could not proceed.
Judge Peters then said: "I suppose
the trouble arises from the habit of
speaking low IN the sick room. "-Ban-
g0r Commercial.
AN old hunter in Michigan, when the
several times. He was told to buy a
pocket compass, which he did, and a
friend explained its use. He soon got
lost, and laid out as usual. When
found he was asked why he did not
travel by the compass. He stated that
he did not dare to. He wished to go
north, and he "tried hard to make the
thing go north, but twas no use; 'twould
diddle, diddle, diddle right round, and
point southeast every time.
The late Rev. DR.. John Muir, of
Glasgow, was for some time minister
of the beautiful parish of LecrOpt, in
Perthshire. He had returned tC that
parish to assist his successor, on one
of the days of worship, at the COM
munion season. In his morning walk
he met with shrewd old woman with
whom he had been In the habit of con-
versing Familiarity. What a lovely
view, Kate" said the doctor, pointing
to the Carse Of Sterling; 81 can fancy
this is just like Paradise" GOV, ay,
sir" responded Kate, but vases me,
for | aye fancy you're like Adam; ye
war in Paradise, but We wadna bide."
SHE is a daughter of sunny France,
and she enters the store with box
about foot square all covered with
tinsel. She lays the box down and
says: " Five cent for peep inside the
box for each one Of you; or ten cents
for the crowd" One gentleman hands
out ten cents; the woman causes the
door to be closed, and with an air of
profound of profound mystery proceeds
to undo the fastenings 10 the lid of the
box. The lookers-on gather around