The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-12-13

several of the others uterine diseases
in one form or another.''
-<1<-
The Bafled Book Agent.
From the Atlanta Constitution.
He came in briskly and sat down
with a jerk. One end of his paper-col-
lar reared over his left ear q QualmY
smell of last weeks clothes hung about
him. He turned his glass eyes upon
us, and l0osening his India-rubber
tongue he began:
"'The Universal History of the Uni.
verse'-in 1000 installments $50 cents
an installment-300 engravings-''
"Stop, my friend. Restrain the in
tellectual flow-dam up that torrent of
eloquence. Listen to me-do You know
what has come to me since | saw you
laste It was in Octo--"
''But, SIR interrupted the book
agent, t'you never saw me before!'
''Never saw you? impossible! Could
one who once gazed on those noble
lineaments ever forget them! Could
that coy wart on the nose be forgotten
Or that eloquent mole on your jaw?
Never, never! 1t was in October that
l met you last. Blessed October-that
month of richness and of sobered pas
sion! Do you know of all the months
in the year October is
''Pardon me, SIR exclaimed the
book agent, rolling his brass eyelids in
desperation, ''you are
''Pardon me, sir cannot allow any
man to hold the reins of conversation
over mel will not be interrupted-to
resume; my grandmother WAS the
most perfect woman of her age you
ever saw. She was 1872 years old. and
yet was as clipper as the best of us.
My brother, who was an inventive
man, put her on a pair of wheels, and
it would have done you good to have
seen her scoot around. I suppose GU:
was the only family that could boast
of a grandmother on wheels, and yet
"But, sir, am in d great hurry and
"You must positively not interrupt
me my friend. AS l was saying be-
fore, wheE 4 man has family grown
up around him, it is hard to say which
one he loves best. And yet that boy
of mine, with a strawberry mark on
his left ear. There's a queer story
connected with that strawberry mark
that would please you,-have you a
child q
81 am the father of thirteen miser-
able children,'' he replied.
"Ah, then you can sympathiZe with
my story. You have been a mother
yourself. All, who's can sound the
depth of mothers love! 1t is as
deep as an artesian well, as high as a
liberty pole. 1t scars like a Chinese
kite, it grovels like ground hog. 1t
is sweet to be mother. It gives us a
new life, and fills US with a broad deep
''Really, sir, l havn't the time,''
broke out the perplexed and desperate
agent.
"Now, there you go again. You
throw me out every time. But to go
back to our conversation. I do think
he was the sweetest dog I ever saw.
saw. Although he was quite young
when he was born, he seemed to take
to learning naturally. When I would
send him to drive the pigs out of the
yard he would take the little pigs pat
roniZingly by the ear
''Ha! Ha - laughed the book agent,
dolefully, quite bright dog-quite
bright-but would you like this
niv-s
''1nterrupting me again there!'' but
it don't matter. 70 resume: AS I said
before, the boat was very small and
quite cranky. It rocked wildly, and
the girl became excited and it was
hard to control her. You have doubt.
less been on tho water, and under
stand-''
Just here the Book agent rose, his
steel joints swapping viciously. He
cast one wild, scared look around him
and made for the door,. Having reach.
ed the door, he turned and looked back
hungrily: He frightened up, as if he
was going to open the conversation,
but he gu]ped issorrow down hastily,
and fled.
"Come back and see us again. we,
called blandly over the stairs. "You
are such a good listener it's pleasure
to talk to you. Yes, come again!
Come during the next centennial!''
Merchants Gargling Oil has become
one of the most popular ]iniments for
human flesh that is now. prepared,
while for horses and cattle it has no
equal in the world. We are assured by
those who have used it for piles one
of whom is a distinguished physician
that among all the various pile RENE
dies, none afforded such speedy relief
as the Gargling Oil,---Louisville (Ky.)