Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-01-01
A PERSIAN STORY.

Adhem in his advice, there was o king
dom in the north of what is now Per-
sia-the inhabitants of which were with
the present Persians-in which these
things of which you complain very sell
dom occurred. In that blessed land
there was no crime to speak of, no acci-
dents no mistakes, no nothing. Life was
like calmly floating river. The people
lived happily and died regretfully, dis
liking very much to leave; which is quite
different here. We had in Koamud,
which was the name of the kingdom,
no penitentiaries, no reform schools, no
boards of any kind-nothing of the
sort. If the Government wanted q
postmaster, we will say, he did not go
bothering about for qualifications or
anything of that sort. He simply post
ed up on the door of the vacant post
Office printed statement of what would
be required Of the postmaster. Then
the first man who said he wanted the
place was appointed.
Were not bonds required of him p
"No. He took tho place and went
on with his duties"
"But suppose he proved defaulter p
He was Immediately caught and
hanged"
Hung for defalcation?''
Certainly, and for q mistake as we'll.
II there was an error in his accounts by
so much as pound of wrapping-twine
he was hung out of hand"
"But suppose his irregularities were
result of bad business ualities ?"
"Then he was hung for being asbad
business man. w hat we wanted was
honesty and capacity; and as we did
with postmasters we did with everybody
else. Suppose railroad train was off
the track-a coroner's jury was convened
over the bodies of the killed. Suppose
they discovered the fact that rail was
out of order, or that the road was not
patrolled, we hung one president, di-
recter and superintendent. If the ac-
cident was caused by any neglect on the
part of the conductor he was hung, and
so on. Once we hung all the officers of
the Teheran and Ispaham road and from
that time there was no accident on that
line. Their successors were tolerable
careful; and the company hung up
miniature gallows in the cab of every
locomotive to remind the engineer of
his certain fate in the event of trouble.
Then we carried the same rule into
everything. The people deposited with
the First National Bank of Pically.
Very good. The bank suspended one
morning. Exactly. The authorities
took the president, cashier, and board
of directors all out and hung them be-
cause they had been guilty of suspen-
sion.
81 didn't steal dsllar of this, said
the president. 1t was lost in specula-
ting in Persian Gulf Mail"
"Never O difference" said the Judge,
"where it was lost. You havn't got
it,"
"But you won't hang a man who has
not,staleny will you?" says tbs psoai~
dent.
"I will hang you, my jooel for bein'
an idiot. I shall hang you for riskin'
money that was not yours to risk"
And up he went.
{" In fact, they have hung them more
mercilessly for being fools than for any
other crime. If man says" stole it,
they feel sort of pity for him. If he
said I lost it, they felt none at all,
and strung him up in minute"
Certainly; all they wanted to know
was that the killing took place"
"Did they never admit the plea of
insanity"
Not any of that. If man put in
that plea they hung him for being in
sane. They were wont to remark that
it was not safe to have insane men run
ming about loose with revolvers, and
clubs, and such things, so they hung
them for fear they might endanger some
one elses life.
what pray was the effect of hang
ing on things in general ?"
"Splendid. Bank officials made NO
mistakes in their figures and none in
their business. The officers of the Gov
ernment were rather careful of their ac-
counts, for they were hung for mistakes
as well as thieving. The presidents
and directors of railroads kept their
tracks up, and more watchful or care
full set of men than the conductors, en-
giaeers, brakesmen and switchmen you
never saw. There being no plea of any
kind permitted, the fact being all that
is considered, there was wholesome care
taken in all departments of life.
"The effect was good in another way.
This system reduced the population ter
ribly, but it made beautiful race Of
men and women. You see the vicious
and the careless which is to say, the
naturally depraved and week-minded-
were all hung, leaving only the clear
headed and industrious to live and per-
petuate the species. Consequently it
was splendid people. am, perhaps,
fair specimen. There were no luna
tics, idiots, trifers or dishonest left to
spread mischief and danger. The pop
ulation was sorted and sifted.
SIS that government still in exist
enceY' $3.50
z.