The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-10-12
What Smiths Boy Said.

A family named Smith has recently
moved TO GevmaHss;;;;;Sssa, ., pnd Mr.. Browns
boy, on Saturday, leaned over the fence
and gave To our reporter hts impressions
of Mr.. Smiths boy, lad about fourteen
years old:
"ye-, me ard Lips are right acquainted
now; he knows more'n do, aud he's
had more experience. Bill says his
father usel to bc robbcr tSmith, blythe
way, is deacon in the Presbyterian
church and very excellent lawyer aud
he has $40 0,00o 900 in gold buried in his
cellar, along with whole lot Of human
bones. people he's killed Aud he says
his father is conjurer and that he makes
all the earthquakes that happen any
where in the world. The old man II
come home at night, after there's been
nm earthquake, all covered with sweat,
and so tired he kin hardly stand Bill
says it's suc! hard work.
"And Bill toc me that once when q
man came around there trying to sell
lightning rods, his father got mad and
ct him, ct him right up, and he takes
Sites out of everybody he comes acrost.
"Thats what Bill tells me. That's all
know about it. And he tole me that
once he used to have dog, one of these
little kinds Of dogs and he WAS flying
his kite. and just for fun he tied the kite
string onto his dogs tail. And then the
wind struck her and the dog bent boom
in down the ntrcct, with his hind leg. in
the mir for about niile, when the kite
all Of II sudden began To go UP, and in
about fifteen minutes the dog was fifteen
miles high, aud commanding view Of
Cali fnrnin anil ENvnt ,nH nat, tnuI,
think Bill said. lie came down anyhow,
know, in Brazil, and Bill raid lie swum
home all the way in the Atlantic ocean,
and when hc landed his leg, were ali
nibbled off by shurks.
could send him up that Way. But |
they used tn live hc went out on the roof
one day to fly his kite, and he sat on the
top of the chimbIy to give her plenty OF
room, and while he was sitting there
thinking about nothing. the old man put
kcg Of powder down below in the fire.
place to clean the SCOT out Of the chin,hly
And when lie touched her pf Bill was
3lowed over ngin the Baptist churcl,
steeple, and lie landed on the weather.
cock with his pants torn, and they
couldn't get him down for three days, 81
he hung there, going roan'a aud lound
with the wind, and he lived by eating
the crows that came and sat on him
because they thought he WIS made OF
shect-iron and put up there on purpose
&" He's had moro fun than enough. He
was telling me .he other day about a
sau-age-stutFrr his brother invented 1t
was IL kinder machine that worked with
y trcadlc, and Bill said The way they did
in the fall was to fix it on the hogs bacl.
and then the hog'd work the trcadle and
keep on running it up and down until
the machine cut the hog all up fine and
showed the meat into tho skins. Bill
said his brother called it Every Hog His
Own Stuffcr.' and it worked splendid
But don't know. Pears to mes if
there couldn't be no machine like that.
But any way Bill said so.
"Anl he told me about M uncle ofhis
in Australia who wns ct by q big oyster
once, and when he got inside ho staid
there until he'd ct the oyster. Then lie
split the shell open and took half one
for bont, aud he sailed along until he
met n sea serpent, and lie killed it and
drawed off its skin, and when he got
home he sold it to an engine company
for hose for 1000, to put ont fires
with. Bill said thnt was actually 80, be-
cause he could show me man who used
to belong to the engine company.
wish fnther'd let me go and find see
! aernemt like That hut he don't let me have
no chance to distinguish myself
"Bill was saying only yesterday that
the Indians caught him once and drove
eleven railroad spikes through his stom-
ach, and cut off his scalp, and it never
hurt him bit. He got away by the
daughter of tho chief sneaking him cut
Of the wigwnm and lending him horse
Bill says she was in love with him, and
when asked him to let me see the holes
where they drove in them spikes, he said
he darcsn't take Off his clothes or he'd
bleed to death. He snid his own father
didn't know it because Bill was afraid il
might worry the cid man.
"And Bill tole me they wasn't going to
get him to so to Sunday-shool. He says
his father hns brass idol that ho keeps
in the garrct, and Bill says he has made
up his mind to be pagan, and to begin
to go naked, and carry tomahawk and
II bow and arrow rs soon as the warm
weather comes. And to prove it to me
he says his f..sber has this town all un.
derlaid with nitro.glycerine, aud rs soon
us he gets ready he's going to blow the
old thug out, and bust her up, let her
rip and demolish her. He said SO at the
dam, and tole ME not 10 tell anybody,
but l thought they'd be no harm in men
tioning it to you.
"And now I believe must be going.
] hear Bill a whistling. Maybe he's
got something else to tell me."--DEar
Adeier.