The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-12-02
Artemus Ward and tho Carmnr.
RY HOWARD PAUL.

BY HOWARD PAUL.
a knot of men came out of u Savage
Club one evening after one of the Sat
urlay dinners. and ut the door stood q
good specimen of wcatherbeatcn, red
faced old London cabman, attired in one
of those wonderful triple-capcd over
coats that are fast disappearing from
the metropolitan ranks. Artemus was
struck with the old fellows garb, and
as he mounted his box, called out.
"Cabby, hi. come down. want you"
He did as requested.
"Cabb.i," continued Artemus, with
twinkle of the eye, ''you are the very
man l wish to see. I've been dining
here with some literary and artistic
swells, and they cant enlightcn me,
and feel that You can" The old Jarvey
looked inquiringly. "Now, would You
he good enough to tell me the differ
ence between conveyance and W-
vergcnce?"
The old man puckcrcd up his lips,
scratched his head. and, with the broad
est of grins replied:
"Well. sir, you're n stranger to me,
but should say there's Il good deal to
be said on both sides"
Good" shouted Artemus. "That's
what / call tho retort cautious. All
risht-Now drive U.S."
Three of us entered the cab.
"Any particular place." the man ask
ed.
"Oh, all! land, pretending to confer
with us for an instant, which he did with
inimitable by-play) drive to the Bound
less Prairie"
"Where is that, sir?'
What! London cabman, and don't
know the Boundless Prairie
us it public housc?'
"By-the-way." laughed Artcmus,
soto rocc to his companions, "that
wouldn't make bad sign for a public
house. II ever give up the quill and
turn licensed victualer, that shall he tho
name of my establishment" Then
turning to the cabman he resumed:
$50 YOU don't know the Boundless
Prairie?"
"No, sir"
"Well, then we'll alter our minds.
Drive us to the Alhambra(a London
hall instead"
And to the Alhambra we went, and
passed, l need hardly say. a jolly even
ing, for Artemus was in high spirit and
ovetirowing with whimsical cOnceits.
The CREscENT.-This is the way the
Boston Transcript accounts for the use
of the crescent by the Turks. When
Philio of Macedon approached by night
with his troops to scale the walls of
! A .1,
discovered his design to the besieSed,
who repulsed him. The crescent was
afterwards adopted as the favorite badge
of the city. When the Turks took By
zantium. they found the crescent in ev-
cry public place. and believing it to
possess some magical power, adopted
it themselves. The origin of the cres-
cent rs Il religious emblem, is anterior
to the time of Philip of Macedon, dat
ing. in fact, from the very beginning Of
history.
UE WANTED SOMETHING TO Do
Cant YOU give me some work. inqulr-
ed poor chap Mt a Chicago telegraph
Office the other day.
"All full" was the short reply.
"Well, by gings, I've got to have
sothin' ter do purity soon. muttered the
applicant.
And turning desperately to the tele-
graph official, he continued:
II say, mister, couldn't You hire me
for telegraph pole?'
Yet even then the official had to turn
him away, every post being supplied.
A NEWPORT girl had fall, last week,
and injured herself SO severely that she
was carried home insensible. Upon
recovering, her first words, addressed
to her sister, were: Mary, did / have