The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-03-09
ALL Sorts of Paragraphs.

the neck of a pretty girl.
"John, you said she kissed you, did
you kiss her back?" "No, I kissed her
face"
-" "Brass" is the latest dramatic sensa-
ton in New York. 1t usually succeeds
in this world.
-"My onthankful hearers" said a
backwoods preacher, "you are like unto
hogs eatin' acorns. They never look up
to see where the acorns come from"
We hear of merchant who rejoices
that this Is centennial year, for he says
that he has a number of customers who
settle their accounts only once in hun
dred years.
Judge Lambeth, of Rome, Ga, has
married 1894 couples up to date. He is
man of hardened conscience, and in the
face of what he has done says he is not
afraid to die.
'It doesn't take me long to make
up my mind, I can tell you p said a con-
| ceited fop. "It's always so where the
stock of material to make up is small, i"
quietly remarked a ycrng lady.
Nothing is calculated to make a
young man more deliberate than the
spectacle of seventeen pairs of striped
stockings hanging on the clothesline of a
house where there is only one young lady
in the family.
= Bad luck is simply man with his
hands in his pockets and his pipe in his
mouth, looking on to see how it will come
out. Good luck is man of pluck with
his sleeves rolled up and working to make
it come out right.
There is family living not far from
Macon, Ga, in whose possession is the
identical camp chest used by Gen. Fran
els Marion during the Revolutionary
war. It is proposed to exhibit this chest
at the Centennial.
At the marriage of an Alabama
widower one of the servants was asked il
his master would take bridal tour.
"Dunno, sab when old missus's alive he
took paddle to her: dunno if ho take a
bride to de new one or not"
To prevent the skin discoloring after
bruise, take little dry starch or ar
row root, merely moisten it with cold
water, and place it on the injured part.
This is best done Immediately, so as to
prevent the action of the air upon the
skin. Invaluable for black eyes.
- He entered a car door. When the
brakeman came inside and took key
out of his pocket, unlocked the stove,
put in some wood, and locked the stove
door again, he asked him what he locked
the stove door for. The brakeman shut
his left eye, and said he locked the door
so the fire couldn't go out.
- A young minister, somewhat dis
tinguished for self-conceit, having failed
disastrously before crowded audience,
was thus addressed by an aged brother
eff you had gone into that pulpit, feel
ing as you now do on coming out of that
pulpit, YOU would have felt on coming
out of that pulpit as you did when you
went up into that pulpit"
General Richard Taylor, of Ken
lucky ("Dick" Taylor is his popular ap-
pellation), a son of the late President
Taylor, is said to have achieved in Lon
don social success quite sur assing that
of any of his countrymen. ine Prince
of Wales thinks him "no end of gentle
man and good fellow" ,
A country editor once received
the following: "Dear Sir: l have
looked carefully and patiently over your
paper for six months for the death OF
some individual l was acquainted with,
but as yet not single soul / care any,
thing about has dropped off. You will
please to have my name erased.
There is married couple living
near here, in Larue county. who during
their engagement exchanged rings. The
bride-elect took off her ring at one time
AID was never able to find it afterward.
She came to the conclusion that it must
have been carried away by the rats. At
ter they had been married about two
wears they decided to clear the place OF
the pests, and ga rat was found with the
identical gold ring around its neck. Its
head was as large as full-grown rats,
but its body was very small. 1t is sup
posed that an old rat had taken the ring
and carried it to her nest to adorn the
neck of her little darling"
During rainy weather a gentleman
stepped into tobacconist's in London,
and asked him for the loan of an UNI
brella. He was promptly Accommodated.
"You're an obliging man." observed a
customer, after the stranger had stepped
out. eyes, but that's a mighty honest
fellow" said the tobacconist. "An hon
ester or more generous man you won't
find in a days travel. He has got a
number of umbrellas of me, but he al
ways brings back better one in return:
He changes 'em somehow, but how |
don't know, and don't care. see he's
honest, and that's all care about it."