National Republican., 1876-12-30
CURIOSITY SHOP.

CURIOSITY SHOP.
"A quail on toast is worth two 10 the
bush.
1T takes four years to grow lilies from
the seed.
in eating soup, do not twist your arms
like distended wings.
What is demanded of the gas.metre in
spectors-a fair count.
The favorite day with Washington
bellies is weddin's-day.
Always to be found on the Cuaard
steamer-English males.
Always at war with each other-Spring
sunshine and December snow.
Pc culiar circumstapces-Au the wide
awake railroads run sleeping cars.
"A Washington, Pa, gent has espoused
his fourth bride in the same pair Of gloves.
j. 81. Goodnight has Just been sent to
the Kentucky lunatic asylum. Good night!
I'm Lapland dead human b dies are
frozen hard. This is kind Of ice cremation.
Many a young man who considers
himself an Apollo is only an Apology for a man.
The man of quiet habits and tastes goes
about the house in slippers and takes his btters
behind the door.
1t is proposed to put roof composed
Of glass and iron, over the whole of the ruined
town of Pompei
That "Gsinesboro' hat" is called nine
parts hat and one part animated broomstick, with
clinging drapery.
-"Mark the soft-falling snow" does not
smashes your best hat
The export of canned meats the past
year amounts to nearly 81 900 OoO nearly double
what it was the year before.
-Tramps out West now claim thst they
are Philadelphia cousins, who have Just dropped
in to return Centennial visit.
Moral for young married men residing
in the suburbs. When you miss the last train
at night you're sure to catch it at home the next
evening.
Now that he is wearing the new EN-.
broidered slippers her fair hands worked for him,
he thinks how much more comfortable the old
ones were.
The old story A laborer, aged nine
teen, has been tried at Norwich, England, for q
dangerous assault upon his wife's mother. Penal
servitude for seven years.
An English writer says that at couu-
try fair in Wales you are expected to exchange
some little token with every man you meet. If
you don't it will make the Welsh rare a bit.
"A Broadway IN. W India rubber firm
Secently telegraPhed to st Louis M Arctic shoes,
can send you model OF the Great Eastern"
Every once in q while some scientist
rises and says that the moon Is dead. This scien-
tifc fact is what makes young lovers on frosty
nlkht lmBer aI the B1te anu ioOA uP ~ tno
corpse.
The records of the Arctic expedition
show that the total abstainers were stronger and
more capable than the drinkers; were less liable
to scurvy; suffered less from cold, and could do
more work.
Don't get up and cuss when you hap
pen to sit down on coalhole cover; sit still mo-
ment and mediate on the fact that the people of
Southern California are now doubled up with
green cucumbers.
what New York citizen would think If he saw
in New Orleans the most beautiful girls in the
world? Probably he would think of-in New Or
leans-more lasses.
The Paris police have Just been armed
with 8 small but powerful little lamp, which they
conceal under the overcost, but by whose aid they
can instantly throw binding light on objects
and identify offenders.
This season the ladies' 60 to balls and
parties in long, black, fur-lined circulars, and
h1ed decently. But they are infinitely better
and warmer than opera cloaks.
The tramp has rights which the Su-
preme Court of Ohio is bound to respect, 1t has
passengers from trains for stealing ride except
at regular stations Of the road
Jamie, why do you not be after the
getting the life Of you insured?" IAN why
should /, my honey3" "Ah, indade, that after
Portable subsistence for Yourself and family.
Brown, poor as a church mouse, mar
ried q rich widow. Soon, stretched upon his
death bed, he made the following codIcil to his
erty, provided she forever remains a widow"
The young women Of New York
congregation are Invited to bring to church fair
cakes Of their own baking, and we have the most
positive assurance that the object is not to kill
the patrons of the institution. But 1t is curious
proposition.
"A citizen of Huntington, Vt, has cat
which is in the habit Of going into a stable on
cold winter nights and getting on the back Of one
having discovered that this is effective way to
keep warm.
Justice Willes, of England, was in the
habit of interrupting counsel. A lawyer who was
Is even greatsr maS than 70 your hep TSe ohs
baron used to understand me af:er had done,
but your Iordship understands me before begin"
Tim Philadelphia alderman" said
op as as
bition. "Oh that's no matter" answered the
gatekeeper. THAT don't exclude you. Pay your
ffty cents and you can 20 in just the same as the
Rustic, who had Just been informed Of
the meaning of the "B. D." aflyed to the parsons
name on the preaching notice: "Baghelor Of Di-
praich, by my ways o. thinkingr' Informant:
"Why not2" "'Cause he calls himself bachelor,
an knows he's married man!'
See the Great Bear, he remarked,
he stood at the kitchen window, coal scuttle In
hand, and pointed up into the starlit heavens,
"see how each glit-ah, that's the dipper," he
added, as she hit him over the head with the first
tin that came handy, and made him see stars as
he waltzed down the cellar steps to the coal bin.
The college boys are at home for va
cation. This is usually the season when the head
of the family looks over their accounts, and on
coming to the items discreetly recorded as "char-
ity." Pauses and mildly inquiries If college stu
dents are expected to support the entire charta-
bic systems Of Massachusetts and Connecticut.