Litchfield enquirer., 1876-06-29

Our enterprising correspondent at the Centennial sends us the following trans lation of confidential letter from one oi the ''Japs," stationed there, to his patron | ''Daimio:"
 CrrY OF PHILADELPHIA. United States, m. 35. 10 the Most Generous, Glorious and POsOerfM of Princes:
 The last week has been very interesting to the curious student of the absurd sys- tenn of government that prevails here. Your Efulgence doubtless knows that the Tycoon God forbid that I should call him the Mikado), of this queer people is s'elected" by vote of all their adult males, cast every four years. The voters are about equally divided into two parties who pretend to hate and despise each other beyond measure just before each election, but live amicably together at other times. No doubt there may have been formerly some occasion for all this spitefulness; but, now, l cannot really make out that they are quarreling about anything but the offices, which are very numerous and valuable Last week one of these parties held it's grand Gatherum- Blatherum, or nominating convention" |" as it is called here, to select the person for whom the party is to vote for Tycoon. Many powerful Daimios were anxious for the nomination" and their various re- tainers struggled powerfully in their be- half. 4 great prince named Blaine, very able and popular, but rather unscrupu- lous Daimio, had more and louder retain CTS than anyone else. The great First of fho pic ~pha hoc been punishing so many rascally tax gath eters, had many friends also-but they finally settled upon an excellent sort of man named Hayes, not even Daimio, I hear. And now comes the crowning won- der of thls strange proceeding. No sooner is the nominee" known, than the people of his party, forgetting Blaine, forgetting Bristow and all the rest, shout "Hurrah for HAYES p and their newspaper writers all aver that he is just the man they want ed all along, and print every day in their papers that Hayes is, of all Americans, worthiest of the Tycoonate. And the First Lord of the Treasury has left his office, and the thieves he was about to punish rejoice also. All this time the writers of tie other party are heaping scorn on Hayes as ''nobody," and both lie furiously, and the hubbub stuns and disgusts one used to better government. Verify we are all slaves, but these are the worst slaves ever saw faithful to no man, only to their party! Last night l talked long with the most intelligent gen. tleman have met here, and very amiable for Christian. I asked how 1t happened that so many people who knew or cared little about Hayes, one day, loved and ad- mired him above all others, the next. He slowly closed one eye, leaving the other open-a way these infdels have of de- monstrating their unbeliefs-and remark ed that the press and the politicians must '.enthuse" over Presidential election or the papers would have no subscribers; the politicians, no postoffces. He said the din would be ten-fold greater when the other party had held their Gatherum- Blatherum, and each side had grown red hot, enthusing its own people and abusing the others. told him that with us, gen. tlemen sometimes lied when they SUD- posed they might deceive by it, but that to tell shallow falsehoods that everyone saw through, for months together, would be considered very degrading business; and said it must be very laborious for the poor editors-much as If the fddles and flutes were taken from the great Thomas orchestra, and they were all sen- fenced to play on nothing but trombones until after election. He laughed, and re- piled that, "people expect it just as they expect fire crackers on the Glorious Fourth Then told him this story:
 Several centuries before the Usurpa- tion, when the most revered of our Mika- dos, called the Liberator, reigned in Japan, Tycoons used to be chosen much as you now choose presidents. There had been terrible war; corruption had fol- lowed; and great officer of government had been obliged to commit hdri kari. The Liberator assembled the JdpS- Gath- eruDa and warned them that Japan needed it's very ablest man for Tycoon. But the convention was utterly unable to agree on any of the great and experienced Dali mics, and selected a prince of second rank, not in any way distinguished. Then they made 1t unanimous. and hurrahed loudly for the new Tycoon, and sent for the Mi kado to ratify their nomination When the great Mikado had ascended his throne. he called the Head Jap, or 'permanent president before him and asked. 'Is the man you have chosen one of our greatest generals?' He is not,' said the perma- nent president, for he was afraid to lie to @ Mikado. Is he one of your greatest statesmen {? enquired the Liberator. The Head Jap had to confess that he was not Then, what is hep He is not a person of great experience, either as soldier or a statesman, it is true. faltered the Head Jap. but we think he will turn ont we'll Any way he was the best man we could agree on.' Then the great Mikado rose, and his eyes shone like two of your cal SOhk ha a12 kba tion: I accept your choice, but regret warned you to select, for I could then have trusted hlm to rule you all, as we'll as the empire. As matters stand it would be too great risk to leave you in the country so inexperienced a man is to govern. permanent secretary will please call the roll and inform each of the members of this convention that the h. effable, Indissoluble, and Eternal Empire of Empires has no further need of his ser vices in any capacity whatsoever And the permanent secretary called the roll, and each of the seven hundred delegates committed hari-kdri as his name was called: and, being thus adjourned sine die, the convention was piled up in the Mikado's dredho (back pasture). and Jap an never had another"
 My American friend seemed much struck, and asked me to drink the health of the Liberator, and added (for he is from Boston and very liberal in matters of re- ligion), May the soul of the Great Mika- do, in Its countless transmigrations before it reaches the blessed Nirvana, enter into the bodies of at least dozen presidents of these United States!''
 From Your Effnlgence's
 most devoted Slave,
 DRoMIo. The Donation to Dr. Fowler. reported