The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-06-15
Wit and HumOr.

A TAKING paper-the sherlH's warrant.
You should not stone your neighbor,
but you may rock his baby.
MANY rascal is like bell he seems
made on purpose to be hanged.
ConoRED BARRIERS are an institution of
great antiquity. Hamlet refers to
party who was i" q niger, and a-nipping
hair. Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Centennial plan for making
horse-car conductor honest is to fire off
small cannon after the reception Of
each fare.-BOStO7a Journal.
He who leaves but one cat to grow
where two cats grew before is public
benefactor, and deserves the blessings of
the community. Sentinel.
IRArE wife (vhvse husband has re-
turned home late)-" I'll just give
you piece of my mind" Husband
"Don't, my dear; you can't spare it.
"AND what has became of Saul,
Jimmy 2" asked Sunday school teacher.
Killed himself" was the reply, Chow
did he kill himself 2" continued the
teacher. "Blowed his brains out with
revolver" replied Jimmy.
AT the show, the other evening, a
gentleman sarcastlcally asked a man
standing up in front of him if he was
aware that he was opaque. The other
denied the allegation. He said he was
not opaque. His name was O'Brien.
Mr.. BRowNsTUDY-"Ug very poor;
I don't like that picture at aldo you?"
Mrs. Bob, yes, dear; you know
that's by Milleighton San Calderpett,
the great r. Az Mr.. B.-"Oh, is it!
Ah-h'm-well, tit IS fne-very fine
indeed Plum.
THE Boston Traveller thinks that
I" the wish or willingness to lean upon
another is ignoble to lean on ones
self alone is grand" Don't know how
it is in Boston, but we've seen fellows
leaning on themselves who were not a
bit grand although they may have been
Tight-uns. Philadelphia Bulletin.
ABOUT as mean a posishun as emmy
man kan put himself into IL to work all
the time for the devil and look all the time
to the Lord for his pay.-J0Sh Billings.
A MASSACHUSETTS, judge has decided
that a Jew may work on Sunday, but
that he shall not play unless he is mem
Der of an engine company. An engine
can't play unless it works.
BREATHEs there Yank so mean, SO small,
Who never says: Wall, meow, by gaul,
reckon, since old Adams fall.
There's never crowd on this ERE ball
nation ALFRED tall
AS we Centennial Yankees?"
Boston Globe.
ED1rH-ss dear! I am so tired ~
Loving husband" What has so "a
4;c.,,o5 -zou NV pom
pet?" Edith-"Oh! have had to hold
carriage !'-Pmach.
A POOR Irishman was about to sell
his saucepan, when his children remon-
strated. "Ah, me honeys," said he, ct
would not be afther partin' with it but
for want of little money to buy some
thing to put in it. F."
"WHY is it, my dear sir, - said Wafies'
landlady to him the other day, that
you newspaper men never get rich?'
cept it is that dollars and sense do not
always travel together"
"MY wife tells the truth three times
day," remarked jocose old fellow, at
the same time casting a mischievous
glance at his "better half" "Before
rising in the morning she says: 'Oh,
dear, must get up, but [ don't want
to?' After breakfast she adds We'll,
I suppose I must go to work, but l don't
want to- And she goes to bed saying
There I have been on the move all
day and haven't done anything.
He seemed to be in deep study as he
stood under the awning of fruit store
and surveyed heap of cocoanuts. He
finally picked one up and examined it,
and the dealer was moved to inquire If
he wanted to purchase. 81 guess not"
replied the lad, as he put it down, "but
it's my opinion that if the fellers who
make cocoanuts would fix 'em to open
on hinges us boys would buy millions of
'em. "-Detroat Free Press.
Hard on New Hampshire.