, 1876-01-30
IIU11OR.

The Turkey question" Which pisc. d. m
! p1efer?"
Mr.: Grow, Nebraska lawyer, h.s Just tn
his first Cause.
t The Graphic wants to know it the god O, ,oa
weather is Thor.
! Weather y's-Thoss used 1t the md d,
"ralnv" and sunny"
What sort OF attention does one usually n,&a
+! with at hotels 1nn-attcntion-
There are good many high whines in tho d,
| tileries Of the Wess.-1rcadlan-
Every cloud has silver lning-e1cept BIT
Cloud His lining Is coppe1-colorsd.
"Sure. which 10 the entrance out 2" asked II
1rishman at a railway y-atation, the other day.
~afy son," said Democratic father, "ne7e,
break your word when it pays batter 70 ksep
PROMISE"
VIC learn from the New Orleans Repubhoa.
that kestled rum entertainments a1a popular IL
Southern society.
An English woman adyertises herself Is cu1p
cutter to the Royal family Shs practices a
1.-THE light fantastic toe"
4 blind mendicant in Paris wesrs this ins:si3
ton asonud his neck "Dou't be ashamed i
give only aou- can't see-"
The small boy ia now saving his pennies u
order to purchase q horrible ca:icature valentino
to send to bis big brothers. girl
4 tramp lately asked q lady for money. 81
offered him food. s' s'GracioUs " WAS his otssr-
vatiou, ''do you think can eat all the sius!s
"1'uttoa parties" ara popular in the FEST
We don't know whence they derived their nauA
unless it's because they're always sure to conn
of.
A man in Kentucky ras found desi With -four.
teen bulLet-ho!es in hls hesu, aud = Coron.ts
jury returned \ verdict OF - death from undus
excitement"
s'Hov much to take ma to tto cathedrali'
asked tourist just arrived in Dublin Of i hack.
man. - well. )" sail Pat, ''the meanest nan
ever took gave me- shillings."
4 philologist has discovered Ahat allied Roder-
lck Dhu MAS . not uncommon nalAdJ thea
known By the name OF James Fitz James, bas
snce corrupted into Jim-Jau1s.
:" Patrick, where's the whisky 1 CAV. you to
clean the windows with - "Gch, master,
just drank it; =nd thought, if breathsd On
the glasa, it would be all the same"
Scene: The attle-shoy-Cockne7 Exquisite:
"caa you-aw-tetl me-"here shall Ind ID, to-
-aw-priza piSs?" Country Nit: "WhoE
In the cattle hog, O. course."-Punch.
4 Boston grocer wzs telling newspxpe1-u.a
that it was simply throwing away money to ID
vertlse, when the Sheriff came in and shut uo
tile store. Ketribution is always losdng around
Detroit Free Press.
4 bald man was sadly astonished to find h1
French barbet's chalges SO high: "Ten f1anca,
exclaimed be, ''for cutting my hair "oh
no. monsieur, not for cotting your hair, but To-
finding de hair to COT"
1t is said that Virginia man, who has lstal!
had delirlam tremens, saw angels lnsseaa Of
snakes, and now all the saloons in tho plata
whore no lives ara fighting over tbs hoRai o.
having sold him his whisky.
Stagnation does not prevail II all tradsa.
florist being asked the usual question, "aoss
business 7" replied, FIRST ratot I have rot hn
SO many first; class funerals for year." Thas
fact.-Bosfbn Commercial Rul}etlz-
A Schenectady man couldn't take job u 81"
ing wood because he hadn't 4 saw When soma
enough to have it hled. When he got oEsr tass
difficulty he found he had no aaw-puck, and AZ
down and wept aud became entirely discouraSed
A French lady OF titls fell i'll and cslled tna
doctor, who cured her. The man Of medicine
requested to be permitted to print on bis ca1;
physician to her Grace" ''ImpossibIs, "sNd
the latter; ~ have physlciau-in-or ordinary.
the doctor. II will put on nv card, .Phyucsa
to her Grace when she is ili.'''
Smidains writes from F1oxida that this e1ooo-
die mania is not what It is crooked up to b.
Last week he shot at one, and II ata tho ballet
and then chased him to tho hotel piazza. Ha
lost his nat and waded in watar to his arn1MsA
running his watch The whte muslin ladias
eating oranges on the piazza were yesv ru9s'.
for they laughed lmmoderately and csllsd Sn}
klns Du Chaillu in disguise.
certain parson, who is also school-te.ehsf.
fr< t.s4- H. =