The Arizona sentinel., 1876-01-22
MISCELLANY.

1iiIllS huO bO Ccll UllO u utlI dUOul him sometimes does" "-JOSh BI- EingS.
 "Did my moustache trouble yOu?" said he to her. "No, she sighed, ''I only felt little down in the mOuth."
 They stopped at the restaurant for dinner. They were probably newly engaged, for he blew on the mustard to cool it for her
 There's lots of men in this world that are like a roOster-take the cockade and spur off from them and yu couldn't hardly tell them from hen.-BiIl5ngS.
 There is married woman with four legs in Connecticut, and be cause she won't have two of them sawed off, her husband is obliged t0 work sixteen hours a day in or der to keep her in striped stock ings.
 "Is he anything, anyhow?" said one young lady to another as they promenaded the street and dis cussed a nice young man. "Oh, yes," replied the other, "he's something: he's dn awful big fool"
 When q sweet little child skips up carelessly and rests its mOlas- ses smeared fingers on your light cassimeres, it is we'll enough for you to remember that of such is the kingdom of Heaven.
 We have heard of asking for bread and receiving stone, but a gentleman may be considered as still worse treated when he asks for Iady's hand and receives her fathers foot.
 At Salt Lake the other day a young lady from the interior en- tered store, and called for @ pair of stockings. The clerk politely asked her what number she wore: "Why, two, you alarmed fool; do you suppose I am a centipede or a tarantula <! How many do you suppose tWo-Iegged hair-pin like me would wear?
 Bob Longley (with modest fer vor): 70, Jack '! O, for a wOman's love O, for true-hearted wo- man once, once in One's life, to throw her arms round One's neck, and tell one she loves one !' Lit tie Jack Homer: "Ah! If you had as much of that kind of thing as have, old man, you'd be pre- ciOus tired of the whole concern '"
 The following letter from a young man was addressed to a Judge of Probate: Sir-My fath- CT departed this life not long hence, leaving a wife and five scorpions. He died detested, and his estate is likely to prove insol- vent. 1 was left eXecutiOner, and being told that you were a judge of reprobates, apply to you for let ters of condemnation.
 The Santa Rosa Times says: "A serious charge has been brought against a certain school teacher, the specifications of which are I, ImOirality! 2. Parsh ality! !3. Keeping disorderly schule f. Carrying midwife wepingr The Committeeman who wrote the charge thinks of running the school himself next quarter"
 This is the cheerful state of af- fairs which at present exists be- tween two Illinois lovers: The girl was abOut to marry another young man, when her former suit or replevined a sewing machine 1 he had given her. She respond ed by suing him for the value Of meals eaten at her house, and now | he has sued her for the time 0c- cupied in cOurting her.
 "Is this the doctors office 2" in. quired man who popped his head | inside the sanctum door. "NO, 1 sir,-the next flight of stairs" "WeIl, am too tired to go any | further," said he sadly; "but if you see the doctor any time this morning, 1 wish you would tell | him that my step-motheris dying | and we would like to have him call in if he gets time."
 Here is the dinner a bashful ! young man enjoyed at the picnic Saturday, given in the order of the course: A pickle, dish of ice cream, ham sandwich, rice pudding, pickIed onions, sponge cake, another pickle, frosted cake. plate of beans, plum pudding, and | ;t glass of Ice-Water During the next night he lost his handful ness te.S0me extent
 A man was elected to a corporal ship in militia company. His
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