The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-02-26

How bully small chin-chin stn sting bug
InIim-plovc ebly sixty mint all time
TO pickGc up sting bug juice all day,
All kin places 'lOun howcls Just got busted.
fire. Press.
1t was rcd hot in our sanctum last Saturday!
Whew. Did they give us racket Them
walls what tales them knot holes could tell! and
them Patent Office Reports, what walls of woe
and abused innocence them musty paste boards
took in their loving embrace, never to be dis.
closed till the trumpet shall sound; and them
old lcdgcrs and subscription lists, what tales
besides those Of wretchcd mcn-who never paid
up--now arrayed III summer clothing in that
aud where the June bug never collapses) their
lcathcr jaws could unfold would they disclose
The cccrcts of their prison house The air was
Iillcd with li-biC suits and threats Of punched
noses; annihilation stared Us in the face. At the
nrst lull in the storm Joe made out orr will,
wherein We gave all our worldly goods-"too
numerous 70 mcntiou"-to the poor-police, and
were ready to die, even anxious when we thought
Of what We had been asked to investigate. We
arc still able 10 Ice about, however, and are now
provided with litter OF bull pups and shooting
irons to maich--so "now look Quit"
1t is aid that 100000 boxes of blacking are
annually manufactured ia the United State, and
vet Gin" y. says he cant get enough to cover
rs boots.
It's cousoling to know that the more man or
woman knows the less he gossips about neigh.
5ors. Culture Hills CAB.
P,lacl says the fashionable extremes are high
lcels and low forchcaas.
advertised my products and made money
v. LO,glVTth
A letter is advertised for jim Fisk a, the T. o.
lts mighty curious that any one should send
a letter for Jim Fisk 10 Ottdwd-"all good Amer.
cans when they die 20 to-Pars."
The report that jawbone 10 feet long 10 beck
Aibitcd in the Women's Department at the Cen
tennial came from Ottawa is a mistake. II be.
,onecd to Joliet woman.
Don't marry till you can support q husband,
laid orr "ielOsiier' to young friend. lie also
embarked incidentally that woman proposes and
man gifts up and gifts, this year"
Before he came TO love her, she was 'that
.ross-cyed wcnch OF the 9th ward" now she's a
darling little angel whose looks arc cut bias"
It al happened through that Bazaar. They
we're there arraycd in smiles and second hand
clothing.
man he wss 90 all the ladies dear,
He loved his pipe and took HE little beer.
Ana sbc-was lovely
A face 90 fair
80 haunted with sweet mysteries,
10 seem'd face astray from heavenly scenes,
Aud not u one who e'er
lied breakfasted on buckwheat cakes,
Or dined on beans.
They ssv everything and all was serene til
hey sat down AZ the ice cream table. Suddenly
We were startled by the loud, fierce whisper:
yes, Sue, you're good girl, but there ain't no
gal agoin' to call for two plates Of Ice cream on
ne and keep me for fellerl Your hear met"
and then he skipped. She threatens TO sue the
3szar for damages. And ve-are out Of town
today and can't settle for this notice.
Some people seem to have the idea that We
arc running this paper Cor fun. We ais't-priee
s1,y ess IN ssTsles, AID glory thrown IN Al