Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-01-28
SMALL TALK.

A clergyman in city not many miles
away on a recent Sabba n climbed up the
long, narrow and winding steps leading
from the basement of the church to the pull
pit, and entering the audience room, began
his scripture lesson with the words " Neri-
ly, verify, say unto you, he that entereth
not by the door into the sheep fold, but
climbeth up some other way, the same is a
thief and robber ''-BangOr Wing.
Color is thus given to the department of
Graphicalities in the Graphic The
literary color, read ; the newsboy's color,
yeller the undertaker's color, done the
color of a hurricane, blew the apothecary's
color, vial-it /; Britannia's color, sea-rule-l-
on the agricultural color, reddish Albert
Edwards color, indiago the color of a
Slayonic dinner, Russ-et.
Charles Dudley Warner thinks that the
Italian mosquitoes are more intelligent than
the American ones, saying that the mosqui-
10 in Venice, who has had civilized ances-
tors for 1000 years, is very different ami
mai from the mosquito of our western prai
rles. lie is alert, cautious, cunning, and
trained to get his living with the least posi-
bic danger.
Some fellows who spend their time loaf
ing around billiard saloons should take the
cue from q dry goods drummer in Syracuse,
who threw his shoulder out of Joint the
other day while making fancy shot.
- Can you spell donkey with one letter -
asked silly young man of bright girl.
" Yes" she answered - u"
down-east hen roasted on the truck
frame under railway car, rode forty miles,
and then was made the principal ingredient
of a stew for an assistant station master.
Prose Laura (who is still triae ro-
martic) " Don't you think there is some
thing very solemn about the fall of the dead
leaves, Reginald ~ Reginald, her husband
| (whO has outgrOwn his Tomance) VERY"
! Pause " Talking of dead leaves, what
the deHce and all have done with my to-
bacco ?"
The early bird catches the worm. Strug-
Cling young physician (who, after listening
with rapt attention to the symptoms Of his
first patient, strikes a handbell, and sum
mons his faithful attendant)-" Ger
Roberts - Roberts " Yes, sir" Ply
sician-" When Mr. Gladstone comes, take
him into the breakfast-room and ask him to
be so kind as to wait a little while. To
patient Now, madam ''-PuRch.
The compositor who set up an d" Indig
nant Denial" to read an " Indignant Dan
iel' will please step to the front for his
chrome before being thrown into the den Of
| lions \. Com. Adreraser.
The Harvard Adrocafs relates the follow
ing incident OF the German recitation-room
Student translating ' Walzte ich nich
schaftlos auf dem acer-I waltzed sleepily
off for lager" Wild nmazement Of in
structor, and a ripping smile through the
class.
Uncle Dick, Nicksburg negro dtty years
old, with three marriageable daughters kick
ng,their heels under the dinner table, lean
ed over lis gate last night and remarked
'' You see, Mister Co>groye. dOze ar gurls
hez had forty chances 10 marry, but dc ole
man hain't no fool Lots o. young niggers
Gums sp00nin' around heah, with lard on
dere wool an new paper collars on, bat dey
hahn got no stamps. 1t would only be
takin' anodder bo der. Dere's heaps ob
poor trasn tyin around, Mr. Cosgro'e, an
doze gals hez got to hah pile ob watchin' g,
dey hez. '-l l.c.s5lyg Herald.
" William" observed a fond Danbury
father to his hopeful son. " the prospect Of
war with Spain is no longer imminent, SO
| guess You had better step out in the yard
and finish saving that wood The CRATE
fol William stepped out.-D0llury Netes.
Tombstones in England are now subjected
to regulations The Cemetery Commission
ers at Leck have refused to admit one hear
ing the following inscription " Twenty
one years a dutiful daughter, three years a
chaste and yirtuous sweetheart, and forty
years loving wife. -
The tailors of the country are organizing
for the Centennial. They propose to cele-
brate the clothes Of the century in a fitting
manner
Ex-Treasurer Francis I. Spinner, who is
in Florida, writes his signature on the sands
Of BAYOU, and the slligators come up to
look at it and Immediately get the jim ans.
-CsHaHRafi Tunes.
The absurd story about the phonix grew
out OF the fact that phenixes always roost-
ed in ash trees, and hence when they took
wing they were said TO - rise from their
ashes. ''-ErctaRge.
They are Incoming uncomiortably high
! toned out IN l tan. \ salt Lake paper goes
50 far as to find iault with Rev. Mr.. Ly-
ford, for carving revolver into the pulpit
By and bye they viii want him TO take of
his hat when he breaches, and next they I
get 50 proud that they Il want people to eat
with knives and forks. My how dainty
and nice they must be
Charles Dudley Warner says the German:
! usually carry about with them long, slender
links Of sausage, which they swing abou
like riding whips, while they eat off on'
end. Then they thrust them into theil
pockets, and occasionally pull them out anC
eat foot or two
a bachelor returning from a ball, in a
crowded coach, declared with grOan thai
he had not the slightest objection to " ring
on his fingers but he had most unequivo
cal aversion to " bellies on his toes.
Att recent dinner in tho mountains giyer
to Don Carlos. the principal toast, " Vivi
> King Charles VII 3" was drank standing
The King himself was drunk sitting -
Graphic.