The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-01-14


littil faster nor light bread rises, an
littil slower then yeathquake wakes
weazels. A few hundred more Hwine off.
still hevin the rat, pepper, on insex tn
back EN-, got him wide enuf awake tn
bleve that he wer threatened wifsum or
ful pnsSonal calamerty, what wanted
pow'ful quick work ON his part tn dodge.
He wer awake now all over, even tn his
dnrnd ole hat, an he show'd hin in es
meny ways es a cat duS, lock'd up in a
empty room wifi a strange an inrerprisin
big dorg.
He grabbed the FIRE shovil, an bounc'd
half bent (the cheer KEEP him frum strait
in up) all over that kitchen, strikin
over handed, onder handed, up handed.
down handed, an lef-handed. at every
'spishus shadher he seed. He fit by the
light owe ten million sparks; he wer es
active as a smnt-mercheen in full blast,
an every grain owe wheat spark. An
he wer a hollerin everything anybody
ever did holler in dredful trihulashun
owe spirit, even tn, Now lay me down
,u sleep" an'"Gloree."
When Use in trnbbil, skeer, ur tor
mint. dns but wun thing, an that's
onresistabiI, onekeled, an durn'd fas'
runnin. an ! jis' keeps at hit till gifts
cumfort. Now his big idear onder Mise
| an varigated hurtin wer TIA fite, an keep
on a-ftin. ontil peace owe mine cnm. /
never seed sich keryint ON in all my
born'd days. He made more fuss, hit
more hicks at more thing, ives in more
shapes. in shorter time, then eny NOR
tai auctioneer cud tell eff he he'd es menv
tungs es baSkit full owe bnckils. Ev-
erv now an then he'd gin his head
vishus, vigrus shake, an the hanvices
wud hit him fore an arter. till his skull
ratified like ontu ole eourd.
| The ole Skis<im an his tribe cum
home frum meetin, an hearin the
onyeathly riot, thort sumhody he'd op-
ened a dorggery in thar kitchen, an that
a neighborhood fte wer gwine on, an
every felIer's dorg along. They rushed
in tu drive out the crowd, an capter the
whisky, an durnder miSforlinit mis-
take never wer made by a man,
oman, an string owe fifteen brats,
since ole Bill Shivers went fur a runnin
threshin- -meesheen tn smash hit. thinkin
hit wer a big musick-box.
The ole hoss bisse'f imejuntly cnm in
contack wifi a holesum knock down,
what calm'd him intu sumthin mons'us
like sleep, fur about a mint. Now a
heap owe things ken happen in a
mint, purtickerly eff thar's sumbody
who hes sot his hole soul tn the bisiness
owe maxim em happen. Hit wer SO in
that kitchen. Agin the ole fe4ler cum tn
the ole oman wer knocked he'd fust intu
the meal-barril, W har she wer breathin
more meal nur air, an she wer snortin
hit up over the aidges owe the barril like
hit wer a fountin playin corn meal. The
oPest gal wer sturn fus' in a soap-kittil,
an she wor a-makin suds outen sum owe
hit. The mex wun wer laingthwise
belly down in the pot corner. The big
gest boy wer whar the backlog orter
been, ontu his all fours a-scratchin up all
the embers an ashes, a-tryin tn cum out
frum thar. Anuther cub, in jackid
wifi wun inch tail, wer knocked plum
thru the tin intu the safe amung the
cold Wills an things. A littiI gal, doll
hon oil lo 81, IL I,
cupboard. amung the delf, a-screamin
like littil steam whistil.
The neighbors wer a-getherin in rom
the Mise an rumpus, an not a duTn'd
wun he'd the least idear owe what wei
wrong, sceptin owe me. ] understood hi
all, durn'd fool es is. tn 'scape frun
helm 'spishioned, / sot IN tn cutt;n the
cheer loose es | got chances, an a keepir
outen the range owe that fyin fire shOvil
fur hit wer still spreadin hurtin an
: mischief on a perpetnl moshun plan
Every body hit totch fell, an everything
r hit cum agin got grief The tin buckit
look'd like drunk mems hats. Pals het
j lef thar hoops, an the delf war was il
scrimpshnns. When he got divorced
5 frnm the cheer, tho't he'd sorter sim
;. mer down. But no sirI He got wus, an
: did his work faster an better; he wer a
r crazy as a bed bug, an as savidge as
}. mad-dorg.
j seed a-cummin, ole widder, wha
r wer a pow'fnl Plus turn'd pusson, in tn
r same church wifi ole Skissin, an she we
: the news-kerrier gineral owe the neigh
:. borhood. Folks sed that they he'd re
/ ligus feelin fur each uther, what led t
] meny love-feas, wifi nobody at EN- bu
J. tharsefs, an wer bof doin mouns'ous wei
;, considerin the thorn in the flesh. Sc
: she
e "Oh, my soull Du tell ME what h,
n happened Oh, lordy massyp sed
"hits a-happenin yeti" a-lookin orfT
a solemn in the moonshine. Sez ], "I'
d tell yu, es / knows yu won't speak ov
s hit; fur eff hit gifts out, hit mout MAX
d the pepil sorter think hard owe MistC
l. Skissim. He cum home frum meeti
i
n cumandment. an he's sot intu murderi
d hes folfs VITA crowbar. He hes dun g,
h his wife an six owe the brats; thar Il,
d in in thar es cold es kront; an he's b.
+ arter the rest owe em; sez he's in a hurr
u tn git thru, es he hes ga tn kill an sa
p down afore day. Now / know by thi
a he's turn'd burned fool"
:; She never sed word, but put out f.
n Squir Haley's an swore her life agin o
le Skissim, an iuck out a warrInt fur hi
t. a-chargin murder, arson, blasfrmy, fle
sc bottomry an rape. Hit sker'6 old Ski
lie sim ontil he run away.
a By the time got dun iDlitenin Il
er widder. that onqninchable boy he
IT the kitchen all tn hissef Every bod
le wer feard tn go nj the door. Now y
T. cndent guess in ten year what he the
~ went an did. He lis made a p;ller on