The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-10-06
A TALE or A TELEGRAM.

A TALE OF A TELEGRAM.
1 do not as rule engage in commercial
speculation but my dear friend Jones
insisted with such eloquence upon the
success that must Individually follow
upon the establishment of the Great But
ter Company-an association formed for
the manufacture of that commodity out
of material which shall be nameless,
but which was by no means 80 precarious
and open to adulteration as cream, and
the supply of which was practically mex
haustible-that I suffered the name of
Martingale to appear, for a consider
alton, on the list of directors.
1t is a name we'll known in society, and
was up TO that time untainted by con-
nection with trade I; unless, indeed, the
shopping and sale of chargers
which L will back myself against any
cavalry officer in Her Majesty's service
may be considered by the pedantic as
coming under that head. AS for the
city, / knew nothing more about it than
that it was locality east of Coxe's, the
army agents. which was the limit of my
personal experience in that direction. 1
have always breathed quite another at
mosphere-that of Pail Mall; wish
could say purer one but the fact is,
that the atmosphere of the smoking
rooms both at the "The Rag" and
"The Junior" are, towards the small
hours of the morning, when my own day
is by no means finished, something APP
paling. 1 had three hundred year for
directing the Butter Company; and it
was far easier work, I am bound to say,
than were the old duties in my regiment,
for which L was paid precisely similar
sum. Once month the Chairman called
for me In his brougham, and deposited
me at the Office in Cornhill, where, after
an excellent luncheon (of which our but
ter formed no ingredient), I attached my
autograph to certain documents q pro-
ceeding (which, believe, is technically
termed passing the accounts" There
were some persons of my acquaintance
and profession-persons have reason
to believe who had themselves applied
for irectorships-who did not scruple
to call the Great Butter Company slip
perry concern, and who affected to give
me- frien ly counsel to get out Of it
but / was too well accustomed to the
perceive their drift-their object was,
of course, to be gazetted in my stead.
listened TO their jokes about martin
gale, the man of business" every time
returned from an expedition to Cornhill
with even more than NV usual good
nature, for 1 had twenty-five golden
reasons in my pocket-the directors
were paid monthly-for sticking to the
Butter. And [ believe the Butter
would have stuck to me, had it not been
for my own fault-if L can call tina. a
fault which was the most extraordinary
piece of ill-fortune that ever befell a
fellow, and solely through another fell
lows being too clever by half.
Well, say the G. b. Cas- we who
belong to it were accustomed to call it,
as the Chairman said, "out of affection
and euphony," bat, 80 far as was con-
cerned, for mere shortness-was a little
" talked about :" it had its detractors,
and even its enemies. People shook
their heads at it Especially when they
tasted the butter), and prophesied we
should not Last; and it was necessary to
advertise considerably to get new Gus
toners. Our business lay rather with
new ones than old ones, perhaps but it
was gradually getting spread over the
country-though thinly spread, like
buttsr upon bread at school.
30 long as we were harmonious
ourselves, said the Chairman,
Or, at all events, washed our dirty linen
1t home-did not attack one another in
the papers, as so many boards of di-
rectors are wont to-we shall be all
right; bat if once there should be mis-
rust Of one another, he would not an
,wer for the consequences. Let only
'he Great Butter Company be true to
ITSELF, said he, during the peroration of
the most powerful speech ever remem.
Der to have heard from any man sitting,
> and do not hesitate to affirm that the
lays OF che dairymen are numbered"
'or, though [ am still under an obliga-
IGN OF secrecy as to the material of
Vmcl our butter is composed, may say
had nothing in common with dairies-
Except little water. Enough. how
'ver, OF commercial details.
when playing at pool in the early
Iutumn one night at the club, 1 had the
Misfortune to lose-neither nv money
lor my life, for am amazingly careful
y both, but-my self-possession, and
omenow or other got inveigled into a
y 11 70 go down to old Slowcombe's
= snoot, upon the first of October. It
sas FOOLISH thing to do, for Slowcombe
: !; ~, pore, and L happened to owe him a
he1e money and when a man is both a
oore and creditor, il is intolerable to ,
70 under the same roof with him. more