, 1876-07-02

THE CENTENNIAL CRACKER
| Two little days more and the 6hriu but
! cheerful voice of the fre-cracker will be
heard in the land, announcing "the natal
day Of freedom" or words to that effect; and,
| lest the small demoniac device of Celestial
ingenuity may not be sufficiently noisy, it
will be reinforced by ringing Of bells, firing
of guns, pistols, caanons, anvils, b1under-
buses, and culverins, blowing Of fish-horns,
beating of tom-toms, swapping of torpedoes,
dzzing of sky-rockets, sputtering of Roman
candles, and the whHz of bombs, pin
wheels, scroll-wheels, serpents, mines, blue
Lights squibs, and other devices for swelling
the catalogue of juvenile disasters, heighten-
ing the nervous miseries Of adults, end
swelling the 6re-losses Of the year. The
Genius Of Liberty, in company with CARTER
HAEn1soN's eagle, will make her fight from
tie rock-bound coast Of the Atlantic to the
! sprays of the Pacific, the one singing " Hail
| Columbia and the other screaming, rs they
| fly Thirty eight daughters of Columbia in
every hamlet will ride in hay
wagon, doing service as Roman chariot Of
Martius, where the village HAarDEN viii
| make the eagle scream and shout himself in
| to the empyrean of eloquence, to look down
| from thence with unuttereble scorn upon the
effete monarchies of the Old World The pa
triot SONS of Revolutionary sires will dedicate
| themselves anew to their country upon the
altar Of baseball, the horse-race, and the
circus Brass bands will blow their noisiest,
professions will straggle along, and the last
| men in them will come home very drunk at
night. And all day long the great American
people will rip, fzz, boom, bang, and crash,
to announce to the world that it is the Gen.
tennial birthday of American freedom.
It has been estimated by the pyrotechnic
manufacturers that there have been con-
structed this year 1,44o, ,oco, 900 torpedoes,
aud over billion Of explosive caps for toy
pistols About 300,0 600 boxes Of fre-crack-
ers, equivalent to 9C0,O0o,o0o all told, have
been imported this year. Nine million Ro-'
man candles, capable Of discharging over &c.
600, 900 stars, and !, 800, 900 rockets have been
manufactured. No one can number the
amount Of smaller stuff which has been made
and which will add to the general din. It
may seem at first glance that this supply will
exceed the demand, but it must be remem-
bered that on this Fourth of July one hun
dred times more noise is to be made than
usual. The general statement brings up un-
pleasant forebodings. Not only must every
small boy fire one hundred times rs many
crackers as ever before, and every grown-up
patriot blaze away with his anvil one hundred
times as often, but the Centennial increase
must also figure in that manifestation Of
patriotism which takes the liquid form. The
great fact stares the Prohib;tionists, the
Good Templars, and the Daughters Of Re-
becca equally in the face, that either one hun
dred times rs many persons as usual will be
drunk, or that each individual will be one
hundred times drunken than ever before.
One hundred times as many Star
Spengled Banners will wave in the
breeze. It is estimated that 5000, 900 flags
Of all sizes have been disposed Of already
this year. The bells will clang one hundred
times IS loud es lost Fourth, and, most dis
tressing thought Of all, the orations will be
one hundred times as windy and as long
To sum it al up, the crash, and bang, and
buncombe of Tuesday will be a hundred
times greater than ever before.
In the ordinary course of human events it
happens now and then, on tho Fourth Of
July, that some interesting child goes to the
Better Land through too much fre-cracler,
or that some interesting village gets burned
up By some small boy who places bis lighted
piece of camel ordure where it Fhil do the
most harm, which is a way srna} boys Of
destructive turn Of mind have In the ex-
traordinary course Of human events that will
happen this year it is probable one hundred
times Us many children without legs, arms,
or eyes, will "climb the golden stsirs"
Where one little boy last year thought
1essly sat down upon flask of pow
der and found himself elevated to-
wards the realms Of the blest, one hundred
youthful cherubs this year will 60 up with
fire in the rear. Where one patriot expired
last year with cannon rammer through his
insides, one hundred this year will be trussed
and spitted. The anvil on the village green
which last year exploded and killed one
patriot, to be up with the Centennial in
crease must send a hundred bucolic patriots
flying in oil directions.
Nevertheless, VIC must celebrate the Fourth
Of July even at one hundred times the usual
cost in conaagration and homicide, and the
only compensation that remains is, that we
shall be one hundred times gladdor than ever
when it is over, and that none of US will live t
to see the second Centennial, when the noise t
will be one hundred times greater than now.
REHM AND TIE GOVERNMENT COUNSEL. |
The Government counsel in the whisky |
prosecutions had the undoubted right to |!
manage the cases in their own why, subject
to the decision of the responsible officers Of |
the Government. But, since the public were |
the real plaintiffs, they have right to an
opinion Of their own regarding the whole
matter; and if they find that the results fall |