Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1876-10-05


Choatc and Chief Justice Shaw, OF Massaohu-
s,tts, often INDUCED 10 wordy combats, and wit
was generally freely expended by both sides
Cloatc was oucc arguiug cause before the
Chief Justice, (who was one OF the homalle5t
pIc, ever elevated to the Bench and, to cx
urcss his reverence Tor the conceded ability or
The Judge, said, 10 ylelting to an averse de-
cis0n:
In coming into the presence Of your Honor,
| experience The same feelings as the HlUdoO
does when he bows before his idol. | know
that YOU are ugly, but | feel that you are
great o.
1t is said that Choatc had command OF
language, aud his brain ,cemed with wealth
Of ,iici 10 truly marvellous When Judge Shaw
first heard tina! there was fresh edition OF
Wurccsicr's Dictionary, containing $500 new
words, he exclaimed. "tor heaven S sake dou't
let ChOa,c get hold OF Il.
Choate, 10 an Important assault aud battery
case at sea, ,h:. D ck Barton, che mate nj the
clipper ship Challenge oa the stand, and bed
ger, i hiw SO Tor about 40 hour that D.ck got
his salt aod water up, and hauled by the wind
to brng the keen Boston Lawyer under his
batteries.
1t the beginning of his testimony, Dick said
the night was as dark as the devil, and rain.
iug like seven bes,
Suddenly, Mr.. Choatc asked him:
WAS there moou that ulght =
Yes, Sir.
''lh, yes a MOOD
Yes, full uoon."
"Dl4 you see II -
Not mite.
'Thep, how DO you know there was a
moou?'
The Nautical Almanac said 50, and I'll
brlicvv that sooner than apy lawyer 10 the
world. "
what vas the principal luuiuary that
night. sis p
''Biunace lamp aboard the Challenge"
"Ath you are growing sharp, Nr. Bar
tom
What in blazcs have you been grinding me
this hour tor-;o make NE dull ~
''Be civil, sir And now tell me what lati
tude and lougiude you crossed the equator
lu?"
"Sho'-ycu're joking."
NO, sir, am 10 earnest, and | desire you
10 answer me.
Il Slan't"
"Ah YOU refuse, do you p
'Ycs-I caD''."
Indeed You are the chief mate of clip
y"r s,ir aud arc unable to answer 50 simple
qu. sfioh p
Yes It's the simplest question ever had
asked uc. Why, thought every fool of
lawyer knew that there amt 10 latitude ut the
equator.
That shot fl yored Rufus.
LABLAcuEs ABSENCE OF MrND.-Oace,
when at Naples, he was sent for to the Palace.
lie entered the waiting room, and, till called
III to bis Majesty, cauvcrsed with the courtlers
in ATTENDANCE Having a cold in his head. he
requested permission to keep on his hat. Get
ting luto full discourse, he was suddenly start
Id by the gentleman in waiting crying OUT
His Majesty demands the presence OF olgnor
lab ,che." la his eagrrness to obey the Royal
summou>, he forgot the hat he had on MS
head. and, soa.eh'ng up aoothe,4 thus entered
the Kings cabinet.
Being received with most hearty laugh,
Aabachc was coutonndcd, but at length recov-
cred himself and respectfully asked his ma
ia,y what had excited his hiArity. My dear
Labacho,' replied the King, pray tell NE
which of the two hats you have got With you
is your own-:hat on your head, or that 10
your hand? Or perhaps, you have brought
both as a measure OF precauton, 10 case you
should leave Que behind you. "Ab, N lle-
detta," replied Lablachc, with an air OF Judi
crou> distress on discovering his etourderle,
too hats arc indeed too many for man who
has no head. ;"
swell, uuclc Ben, L suppose you arc going
to vot, the radical ticket again this fall, !" said
farmer to an old colorcd man whom he met
in the road. Il dou't know bout dat, Mars
sam. replied Ben. why not, Ban?' asked
the farmer Mars Sam, had a wission last
night, aud | tell you il has shook my conh
i. :, |
ed da! | preped iuto the inferuaI reglous
seed monSus sight of dem radikis. aud |
seed heep of uiggers, and would you 'bleve
1t, Mars Sam, every one of dem radlkilS had .
nrger holden OF him twecn him and de fire.
Is concluded 70 vote for Mr.. rildeu, Mars
SAN. case dat circumIocutes 10 my comprchen-
shun dat desc radikis amt 10 friends OF dig.
yHr>; all deg want is jest to get into othce, and
DIR Is whar thar love for de digger comes ~.
WHEN DRUNK-If drunken men could only
rcaz what bores TREY become whan thorough
iy soidau with liquor, and how their best
II ends avoid shem and are ashamed TO be seen
with them, and try their best to get away trom
them. We ar. sure it W ,uld have some Ell ct 10
checking their use OF the POISONOUS article.
inic Is the strongest principle OF the human
h~@ast, and Ii surely ought to be aroused wien
III druakard feels that be has become not only
ii curse to his family, out u burtheo aud bore
to The seuera public.
Col. Holidays Appointments.
The following is a list of appointments made
hy Col. L. ". NJ Holiday, one of the demo-
era ic electors at large for the State:
kus George Court House, Thursday, DC,
tober 5.
Lce,burg Monday, Oct. 9.
Fairfax Court House, "Wednesday, Oct. IL.
Norfolk c.ty, THURSDAY, OCT. II (uight).
Hampton, Saturday, Oc,. IA.
Southampton, Monday, Oct. TO-
WILLIAMSBURG Wednesday. Oct. is.