Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-09-07
Mr.. Robinson,s Monument.
phllndclpllln buIetln. ]

/ MI. tUDlHpoh Wohs w.
Cemetery one day after the interment
OF his wife, and had an Interview
with tie Superintendent.
"Wbat arc your regulations In re-
gard to monuments in this cemetc-
ry?v asked Mr.. Robinson.
! swell we hardly have any special
rules. We let people do pretty
much as they please"
"You wouldn't make fuss said
Mr.. Robinson, ''lfa man should put
up something original and novel
over a grave, now would you-some-
thing calculated TO attract atten-
tion?"
N-n.no, / guess not. What have
you In view"
"Well you soc Harriet was an un-
common patriotic woman; made
socks for the soldiers during the war,
and was ull the timo knitting fiddle
faddle things for sanitary fairs, and
thought mabe I'd get her up some
kind Of "a red, white and blue monu-
mont, with brass eagle on top and
the American flag flying from pole.
Perhaps | might put Hail Column
bia' In gilt letters on tho stone on
ono side, and picture Of General
washington holding the Declaration
OF Independence In his hand, on the
other. How does that strike your"
ut would BIO unique, anyhow" %
"But what l wanted to seq you
about particularly was to know about
the size, Now would you allow me
to make tho monument about Atty
feet high of some solid kind OF stuff
that'd spread over tho ground a little
piece aai s.tl
"Oh, yesl ! s'poso 30! 1t will DO
costly thought 4a
'Oh, j don mind the cost. What
] want IL 10 get weight In the rnoto-
rial SOS it'll SGT heavy on the ground,
and stay there. ~
"You must have thought great
deal OF Mrs. Robinson to expend 30
much money on her."
"Well, betwixt you and mo, that
isn't exactly II. Sho was one of
those restless, Uneasy women that
ncver'd stay quiet when you wanted
her to, and II occurred to mo that
some thing might happen to resusci-
tate her, and to tell you the honest
truth, my idea was to run up some
kind OF a monument that'd hold her
down permanent; keep her there,
you understand. | don't want her
busting about, now that she's stow.
ed away as dead"
'You are probably not aware that
we have introduced an alarm here,
which connects the vaults with the
office, 80 that II person returns TO
life out Ola trance wo can at once 90
to the rescue. Mrs. Robinson, you
know Is In u vault temporarily
lyon don't moan to say" exclam-
sd Robinson, "that she's got one of
tho alarms anywhere near hor?y
Certainly she has"
"Sec here, now, ! want 10 shy
to you in private, Tho
honest fact 10, Pm about to marry
Tho wilder Jones, and II I can make
any little arrangement with you 10
snip off that wire for u few days I'M
III Mrs. Robinson IL thoroughly
lead, II viii DO money In your
pocket III a s4 f8.,s fH3
''gant do IL, sir. = 4a 800
"Iseoanseyyou see for yourself how
numbering embarrassing it's going
d be IL the old lady should come to
md hcgln to stir around just aftSr me
and Mrs. Jones were comfortably
Now wouldn't u? Look
~ II In q common SENSE Tight. 50
IL you could mufiic up that machine
somehow, or give MO sosnc kipd 81
a written guarantee that abe WON'T
rssnrrect, II will DO rogartttsi| as u
personal tnvor. DO they over como
tO?', ssss ss'Yass
''Ono old lady revived last week,
after she Mad been III thu vall,
three days. sa go
MY gracious, man, you take III,
breath away! Why, Its awfuls UP
on tho whole, ! believe III RI,
Mrs. Robinson out and bury her 1,
~ Mstholiet bury inesgtonnd. III
sene oxer : man toE her this after