The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-24
THE EASTERN QUESTION.
How Learned Young Man Enlightened Miss
Pennybun as to What 1t Was.

Pennybun as to What Ii Was.
Miss Pennybun is not strong-minded,
and does not want to vote and hold
office, or any of those horrid things, you
know; but she likes to keep posted on
current topics, and she reads the daily
papers like hero or martyr, or both.
She had waded patiently through all the
accounts OF the war in Turkey, and al.
most dislocated her jaws and dazed her
brain in attempting TO keep up with the
times; but in spite of all her efforts she
| could never get at the bottom of the
affair, and had not the least idea what ii
was all about. She shed many tears on
| this account, and wondered how 1t must
| feel 10 be man and be able to compre.
hend such deep and complicated sub.
| iects, and talk on them as fuently as
she heard some of her masculine friends
| do.
| One evening last week some gentle
man callers were discussing the "East-
ern question: with a good deal Of
warmth and difference of opinion, and
Miss Pennybun, blusning for her ignor.
ance, looked mee6ly up and said: Gen
tlemen, will some Of you be kind enough
10 tell me what the Eastern question:
is, and what Turkey is making all this
fuss aboutW Instead of the chorus OF
. dead silence for the space OF three
gllnlb5s, while i've gentlemen stared
gasuKly al her with dlsmay written on
their faces. At last the wit OF the party
recovered his breath and said: "On
Turkey must either gobbla or be gobbled, :,
and she naturally prefers to gObble !;
don't you seeW 81 don't think | Under
stand" answered Miss Pennybun, look
ing pathetlcally at another OF the party
The individual appealed to tidgeted un-
easily on his chair and glanced hurriedly
at the door; then his face frightened,
and ne turned TO one of his companions
and said: Here's Brown, Miss Penny
bun; he has gwen us half u dozen solu-
tions, so of course he can state the prob
lem." Mr.. Brown grew exceedingly red,
and jerked his collar as ii it felt too
tight, but managed to articulate refer
ence TO Mr.. Green. Mr.. Green looked
alarmed, but gallantly responded that it
should never be said that ne encouraged
woman to desert her sphere, and posi-
lively refused to enlighten her. Then q
quiet-looking young man in the corner
saw his opportunity, and began: "IL's
very simple question, Miss9Pennybun; {;
very simple, indeed. You see the Turk
ish provinces belong to Turkey, and the
Bosphorus being the key of the Porte,
the Car of Russia thinks OF abdieaUing in
favor Of the CzarOwitz, which naturally
makes England and Germany ANXIOUS
about the balance of power, and excites
the suspicious OF AustSia with regard to
her semi-ltalian possessions. SerVia
and Montenegro being in revolt, and (I
hope you will follow me, Miss Penny
bun) the Spanish succession being
doubtful question, Constantinople is in
an exposed condition, and England is
uneasy, Roumanla is overrun with Rus.
sian troops, and, France remaining
neutral the while, the Shah OF Persia is
at last waking up to the Importance Of
the affair, which will undoubtedly de-
prive the Ottoman Empire of the greater
part of Asia. l think the matter is very
clear, and believe in enlIghtening the
women enough TO make them 'cOmpan.
able,'" " concluded the quiet young man,
leaning back in his chair, while the tears
came into Miss Pennybun's eyes in ad-
miraton of the stupendous intellect en-
shrined within that noble form, and four
unhappy young men arose to go, inward
ly denouncing their own stupidity and
wondering where in the mischief Jones
found all That QUITO naha Bee.