The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-11-23
People and Things.

| t0ub 10 ulAfIy gill VI only LIZ
| SAN FRANCISCO papers advertise ripe
strawberries at " ten cents pound"
A MOTHER and her daughter married
| brothers in Tuscaloosa, Ala, and the
mother got the youngest husband.
A SINFUL New York sheet imagines
that Mrs. Stanton and Miss Anthony
must be direct descendants of the peo-
pie who settled by the rivers of babble
on.
The Brooklyn Argus says the mas
who rode In horse-car by the side of a
woman who had just returned from the
Centennial is suffering from severe at
tack of the earache.
A LoNDoNER having read in Boston
| paper an advertisement headed. "Ameri-
can Steam Safe Company" remarked
that he was glad If the Americans had
made steam safe company.
AN old resident of Midway, Mass,
was sent to the poorhouse the other
week, on the same day that his son laid
the foundation of fine house for his
own use in the most aristocratic part of
the village.
THE COWS of the noted Glastonbury
| Conn., sisters have again been driven
off by remorseless tax collectors
gentleman whom they spitefully de-
scribe in the Wom,Gn'S Journal as large,
fat, and lazy.
A NEW method of circulating handbills
In cities is by throwing them from the
upper stories of high buildings, by
which means an under current of air
carries them a great distance before
they fall to the ground.
The annual income of the charities of
London amounts to nearly $12, 900, 900.
Of this large amount nearly two-thirds
is derived from voluntary contributions,
the other third being derived from divi-
dends, property or trade.
WHEN Lord Duferin went to ball at
Reykjavik, he knew no Icelandic, and
SO hazarded to the young ladies' some
little complimentary observations in
Latin. But he adds: Ell cannot say
that found that language lends itself
readily to the gallantries of the ball
room"
MY FRIEND.
The friend who holds mirror to rny face,
And hiding none, is not afraid to trace
My faults, my smallest blemshes, within;
| Who friendly warns, reproves me if sin
| Although it seems not 80, he is my friend.
But he who, ever fatter1ng, gives me praise,
Who neer rebukes, censures nor delays
To come with eagerness and grasp my hand
And pardon me, ere pardon demand
He is my enemy, although he seem my friend.
The New York churches have curious
prejudice in favor of imported ministers,
which leads the Congreg0tiO710l68t to in
quire if the American ministerial stock
is giving out. No less than eight of the
metropolitan pulpi6s are filed by foreign
born clergymen, all of whom have been
called from active pastorates in their
own country.
A JEALOUS Baltimore husband, P. j.
Tracy, swallowed morphine after writ
ing to his wife: 1T is for you that I
have done this, and when I am dead you
can do what you like about marrying
Schlubter." Mrs. Tracy got the letter,
bnt before she had time to marry Schlut-
ter her husband had been pumped free
of the poison.
A GENTLEMAN in Virginia City, New,
whose Chinese cook left him, was unable
to retain any of numerous "Johns" for
over day, until he induced one of
them to explain that some apparently
meaningless strips of red paper on the
kitchen wall contained the Chinese in
scription, "Boss woman, long time
tongue. Muchee jaw, jaw"
TIE London Society says railway
traveller, provoked beyond endurance by
the, to all appearance, endless delay at
some obscure station, demonstrated on
this subject at last with the guard, who
explained: "This engine-dr'ver of
ours is a very clever man. He gives
pianoforte lessons here to the station
kmaster's daughter while the train waits. %
R1oHFoRD, VT, furnishes the plot for
a tirst-class romance. A married couple
| quarreled and were divorced twenty
years ago. The woman has since been
married once, and the man twice. Last
week they met for the first time and ate
at the same table without recognizing
each other. Afterward they were intro
| duced, made up, and were married that
night.
| A WALK through the Vienna Imperial
Hofburg shows the striking likeness be-
tween the Hapsburgs of to-day and their
ancestors 900 years back. The broad
neither lip of Rudolph, elected Kaiser
of the German Empire in 1875, forms
very marked feature in all his descend
ants down to the present occupant of the
throne, Francis Joseph I. They pride
| themselves on an unbroken descent of
thirty generations.
The Phoebe Record says that a rich
man in that place died in 1861, and
there was pompouns funeral. The
following is added by way of moral les
sou "In 1871 we visited the grave
and saw four bob-tailed pigs roofing at
the sods of the grassy mound that COW
cred all that was left of old pomposity.
And that was the end-a neglected
grave, with four stub-tailed porkers
roofing up the subsol."
H.un or,;toaeiana of London hava