Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1876-02-12
DISCOURAGING BUSINESS.
The Thermometer Man IN net roI

ne was way-worn man from the east and
re lad thirty seven thermometers in a
basket on his arm. After standing on the
street corners for two or three hours with
out making sale. he started for the eastern
part OF the city, hoping 10 do better among
the private houses. He seemed TO gain con-,
fidence from the cheerful look of tie dwell.
ings, and he bore himself like a banker as
he assembled the steps and pulled door bell
Nothing for the poor" said the lady, as
she opened the door.
~ am rot soliciting for the poor-I am
selling thermometers" he said in a balmy
Don't want apy-bought our stock in the
fall she said, drawing in her head.
II SAID thermometers. madam" he called
81 know IL; but we've got all the vegetables
we can use" she called back, and the door
struck his toes.
Going in the saloon on the corner the man
addressed the proprietor with a sweet smile,
asking:
would you like thermometer. to-dav?,,
Ply der bushe?" inquired the saloonist
"No.a thermometers little Instrument
for telling you when IL is cold or warm"
ANY music-box in it?' inquired the sa-
"No; it records the weather"
"What wedder?''
"Why, the weather we have every day in
the year. When ii is warm this little tube
runs up: when IL is cold ii sinks down."
"Umph. Ven il isb warm 1 dakes my
goat Off ven il is gold / put more goal in the
sIoaL 90 sen Dat TO some schman pOy as
The thermometer man entered a carpet
weavers, and a bow-backed man nodded
kindly and cordially welcomed him.
Accurate thermometers for only twenty
hye-cents, said the peddler as he held one
New thing?" asked the weaver as he took
1--WE have had thermometers for many
years; People have come TO consider them u
household necessity"
Zero? Zero? Who was Zero?" asked the
weaver. reading the word behind the glass.
The thermometer man explained. and the
weaver; after trying 70 get his thumb nail
under the glass. asked:
Where does the blamed thing open?-
THERMOMETERS are not made to open, my
friend was the reply.
well Il don't want no thermometer around
me that won't open!' growled the man. 81
tbought IL was new kind of stove handle
att
The thermometer man next tried dwell
g-house In answer 10 his ring, the door
was instantly and swiftly opened by a red
faced woman, who hit him with a club and
cried out!
"Tll learn you, you young villain."
She apolog1Zed and explained that several
bad boys had been ringing the door bell, and
he forgave her and said:
al have some accurate and handsome Their
mometers here Would you"
I'VE never have hash for breakfast" she
inierr1pted; "My husband detests hash, so
Hash! A thermometer has nothing to do
with hash!" he exclaimed.
"Well, can't help that" she replied
slowly closing the door. "We haven't any
lamps TO mend, and you shouldn't track
mud on the steps that way"
There was pOrtly man crossing the street.
and the thermometer man beckOned to him
halted him, and when he got near enough,
asked:
Scan l sell you an accurate thermometer,
tO-day?"
"a what?"
"a thermometer"
"What do / want with a thermometer?"
exclaimed the pOrtly man, raising his voice
aPeg
"YOu blamed IDIOT Do you suppose run
the wes ther?" roared the fat man, rowing
purple In the face.
oo1d u ao ycp v want to know when it is hot
"Am 1 such an old fool that don't know
when it's summer, and when it's winter?'
shrieked the fat man.
1--WE all know, OF course, replied the
stranger, "but every respectable family has
thermometer nowadays.'
"They have, eh! i never had one, nor
wouldn't have one. and do you dare to tell
me that amt respecfable!h screamed Old
pOrtly.
al didn't mean"
Eyes, You did, and You have made me miss
the car, and I'll cane youi'
The thermometer man waded across the
muddy. street and made his escape. and al
dusk last night, was backed up a. ainst the
Soldiers Monument, his basket between his
feet. and was squirting sadly at the clock on
The City Hall tower Detroit Free Press