Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-10-04
Humorous.

DAD plils won't pass in Spain, it
seems. Tweed is to be sent back.-Bos-
tom Commercial Bulletin.
MADE bull-sight- marksman
COW. ra# o-'o' ''
| w HEN EN- does a ship. Of war become
snip OF peace? When she drops he
ACCORDING to the latest fashios
black pantaloons and maroon necLe
are suitable for suicides. - = -
PRISONER at the barr said a. nn-
Pous Judge, you will soon appear be-
tore another and, perhaps, a b6er
Judge" . w.
HE young lady who s'wore a. lass
band enclrcling her raven locks" isup-
posed to have suggested the sug of
There's Music in the Hair" a,5 =
/, s. BEING asked what made him s, dirty,
a street arab replied:G 81 was made,
SO they tell me, of dust, and suppose
it works out" aIrH # s,u9
WHEN mans wife locks him up in
the third story front, it's some comfort
to him to see the man acress the way
picking brooni-seed out Of bis hair.
| AN Illinois chap, in describing gale
OF wind says: "a whit, dog, while
attempting to weather the gale, was
caught with his mouth open, and
turned completely inside out" l,.l .
/ F" How to get rid of cold" is being
discussed by the country papers. Put
a llttle nitro glycerine up your nose,
then hit it with sledge hammer, and
the cold will never trouble you again.
JUDY" On the sea shore, great per-
sonage lin those parts)-' My good
man, Is there carriage road up the
cliff anywhere round that point? Man
= Nav but there be donkey path, if
, that'll suit zee ,"
F." made nine hundred dollars during
three days VISIT" said young hopeful
to his father on his return from New
York. How so, my boy ?" "Why,
, | had thousand dollars worth of fun,
: and it only cost a hundred" @
A sEEDY looking individual was heard
to say to a friend: "My dear fellow,
| can't you lend me black weskit for q
short time. My aunt Betsey died a
few days ago, and wanted to take
short mourn"
REPARTEE.-S'Please accept lock Of
my hair" said bachelor to widow
handing her a large curl. "Sir," shere-
piled, "you had better give the whole
wig" Madam" he responded, "you
are very biting, indeed, considering that
your teeth are porcelain" -a- e.
WoMAN's RIGHTS lady, who
has taken a house in the Highlands,
her servants suddenly giving warning
"What's the reason of this? Have you
not all you want-good rooms, good
fresh air and food, easy work."
!, Spokeswoman eyes, mem; but-but
there's ma decent lad within cry O U.S."
SOME one says. {. Learn this lesson.
:, No one cares about the size of your
feet except yourself; therefore be COM
Portable" But a young man who is go
q ing to see girl who has an eccentric
I father cares more about the size of her
. parents foot than he does about his
. own.
D A SMALL boy was so unfortunate as
J, to remark at the breakfast table, the
other morning, "Oh! dear, Pm so
3 sweaty," quite to the horror Of youth
g full aunt. Being reproved for the use
!, Of SO inelegant term, he replied:
t "Oh, yes, I know all about it. They
s talk of a horse as being sweaty. When
. it is a man he perspires,' but young
2 ladies like you only glow"
: - A CORRESPONDENT writes: I attended
a wedding few days since. Wishing
: to say something BETTING the occasion,
[ approached the fair young bride in
the course of the day, and after con-
graduating her on her departure from
the state Of single blessedness, I wished
her pleasant voyage down the river
of life. She said She hoped so, but
they were going by railway to New
} York.
I" WHAT under the sun are you rum
maglng the old clothes closets for?"
the tender wife asks her fond husband,
these bracing autumn mornings. "My
winter pantaloons and coat" he replies,
I with suspicious look at the empty
hooks. ooh, why-yes-let me see"
and with guilty blood suffusing her
lovely face, she glides into the next
room and takes china dog and pair
2 OF glass vases and plaster shepherdess
off the mantlepiece and hides them
behind the sofa. ga
BURLINGTON Hawkeye: GA West
Hill man went out into the kitchen
asst night without lamp, to wash his
hands, and while cropping about for a
towel, he ran plump into the arms OF
the hired girl. Why, Maggie he
chuckled, you darling little WITCH
and then, as he held her, and crowded
| his moustache under her reluctant
nose, the lamplighter touched off
lamp on the side street, and by the
| Pickering rays that fell through the
kitchen window, the West Hill man
knew his wife's aunt who is visiting
them. He started for the Black Hills
at midnight"
EDDIE a chap of three and half
years old was sent to the corner store
to get two wicks; but be got into the
store minus knowledge of what his
mother wanted. The kind keeper, to
help out the little fellow, who began to
cry, began naming several articles, and