The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-04-01
CREAM or OUR EXCHANGES.

heavily loaded for 100 years. II Eli Perkins
could only be hired to Dire that gun off at thS
Centennial.
4 Lancaster county clergyman is lccturing OF
The Model Husband" He may mean well, but
we dislike To he talked about in such public
manner NOrrjStolrs Hsy0h.
Professor sccye put his foot into ii the othc
day in Congress, when, in the course Of reply I,
swestern member he said Omne igaotrat PR
taqcs;fsO.' The western member alluded TO il
,ueh seandslous language jumped to his fee
and ssid he proposed to show that college bred
chap that he was no such hairpin not by a
large majority"
II is on account Of the taxes and not because
they have the itch, that everybody is scratching
sround so industrously these days.
When Hcsins and Jake Rchm were told the
other week that 'scveral professional iurymen
had recently died in Chicago and that men Of
less than two years experience had been put in
their place, they concluded not to stand a trial
but came down promptly and confessed.
person in Pennsylvania was lately killed by
grain Of coffee which lodged in his windpipc
The moral Of this is that VIC had better, as rule
lake Glove.
Mrs Livermore asscrts that there arc only
three thousand decent, respectable, loving hus.
bands in the country WE'LL We three thousand
IAN stand It, il Mrs. Livermore can.
II is calculated to shake our faith in every.
hing that's good when VIC look around us and
see, on one SIDE the fortune OF an earnest, pray
ing christian like Daniel Drew swept from him,
ssd on the other, the ungodly Gould rolling in
riches and prosperous in every venture.--Chiea-
20 Tirfg - -r.
Boston has a club composed OF women, called
the Brain Club. There's town in Iowa called
Cascade, the inhabitants OF which are obliged 10
20 10 miles for water,-Times.
That Boston club will brain goa, if they ever
rsteh you. #.s
Unjust make some inon mad AS blazcs TO read
n the great five, ten aud twenty million steals
n Washington, and to realize that they were
uniting in time at s" per day when it happened.
Boston set one hundred and fifty men at work
At ~ per day in order to keep them from starv.
ng The men wanted TO work about two hours
per day, and when wrcstlcd with on the subject
most Of them quit the job
a Kentucky woman wants TO bet that We will
have month Of terrible Geld weather after
March 18th. Why cant Kentucky women be
satisfied with having the biggest feet in the
country n .#.
There is said 10 be a bogus DR.. Mary Walker
around She can't deceive any one, however
No other woman in this world can hitch up
pair Of Plantations in that graceful careless way
shich Is second nature to the doctor--,St Louis
IISTe,b
There is u letter in the Detroit posi-, office for
capt. Kidd. The captain, VIC believe, is dead,
and under the circumstances, the letter should
ne sent on to Grants recent appointed az
minister TO England, who is asserted by some to
20 the greatest (ll,erary) pirate now living.
he boston Post wants TO know how man
can spcud $1,000 for rent and $1,000 for dia.
nonds, aud $1,000 for running expenses, be.
sides having a trottcr or so, on 5000 year
-slaTy,' Ask Babcock lie did il and ought to
~ able to tell how It is done.
John Morrissey say that Sehenck will have to
retire 10 private life, and adds, "but would
rather play Bobs game Of poker than be pres.
dent Of the United States for three terms"
Colfax declares in his lectures that in his re.
JTement from the cares Of lpublic life he has
NN'" "'S NV Nl'hH'' gu VOH AWAKE Elm.
The tramp nuisance in Aurora is getting to be
'.rious. week ago highly respectable citizen
gave party at which large and gay company
xeTc assembled. The customary time for serv.
'0g refreshments having arrived, the ladies OF
'be household repaired to the pantry, when
sorror OF horrors! Some tramps had opened an
ta!sidc window and stolen everything down to
~ last slbprl nI NJ.
n nminous silence he loaded a rife aud two shot
Guns.
Coming from the New cork Ersniag Post, there
an be no doubt Of the truth Of the anecdote: "A
prominent clergyman OF Brooklyn last week,
Shhc taxing one OF q course OF boxing lessons
'or exercise, received what the boys call jolly
black eye On Sunday he chose his text from
timothy, 4th chapter, 9TH verse i have fought
good tight, have finished my course"
Philadelphia telegram announces that Bay.
Jd Taylor has been selected az the Centennial
FoeL lhis cuts out the poet OF the Marseilles
Serod, and we fear, alas! we shall never have
hat interesting instalmcnt OF his great poem
which mentions the Indians "Marseillesp
sod What's Left"
NO" don DC FOSTERING Susan B. Anthony
rhile here, to know what she thinks OF Beecher ,
Sat few weeks ago she declared TO an Omaha
Exporter, "on her sacred word and honor and
he hoped she might never taste another gum
trop, If In MI her life she ever said Beecher
Ess guilty.
Most Of the papers msprlnt the name Of the
'residcsts lovely brothsi. Some call him Or.
IDLE II. Grant, others Orville r.. oryille VI, &c.
lis name is Orvil L. Grant. Let no Injustice
1e done the man in so small matter as his
zane. Give him l.. Il
Attorney General Pierrepont says Babcock stole
he Presidents private papers and made use Of
hem Ia bis trial, and yet nothing has been done
With Baaeock beyond indicating" him-Pke
,0vRiy Do..
Anc isn't the "Vindcation" ne got bad enoughs
Fho wouldn't about as scon be In the peniten.
iary as walk the streets With character black.
ned BY such indication,
Washburne will run for governor OF Illinois