The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-04-08

'Pretty large Office ?" asked.
eyes, an eight-story building down on
High street; four lightning presses in the
basement, and the editors rooms IN the roof,
accessible only by a private elevator which is
always kept up until they let it down."
Happy men," sighed ], thinking of the
old Printers Exchange as l remembered it,
planned for inconvenience with a skill which
was akin to genius. And thought of how
tne shlp-news editor OF my day would have
stared at column Of arrivals and clearances
and nine more of miscellaneous shipping in
tellgence.
do they have many libel suits now?' l
asked.
80, no; the law is changed; if the sufferer
wins his case the jury or court award him SO
much space in the paper to use as he likes in
restoring his character. That is more than
editorial nature can endure, so reporters use
extreme caution aud the public are so bored
with such defenseC that juries are very eau
tious in their awards"
At this point the General suggested pipes
and toddy. Our host smilingly said that
since legal suasion had gone out, public opin-
ion had become much elevated, and the use
of tobacco and spirits was becoming quite
restricted, but he still had the means of graft
flying us. Master Cleeves lighted his pipe by
putting in bit Of hot coal, while I tried to
light mine at the gas, but found that the
light within The globe was electrical, and not
approachable with pipe.
"Then they have found" said Master
Cleeves, with quizzical smile, shat people
cannot be driven into virtue, have they? In
my time they tried it with religion, but they
only drove them into the Wilderness
'All ages have their hobbies" replied our
host; sin Master Cleeves' day men had not
done seeking for the philosophers stone; in
Gen. Preble's time perpetual motion was
the philosophers hobby; the pet fallacy of
Mr. Newbegn's age was moral reform by legal
suasion; now all our goggled-eyed philoso-
pliers are expecting to reform the world by
persuading everybody to be abstemioCs and
economical, forgetful that every mortal has
to 60 back to the beginning to learn to govern
HIMSELF having received no wisdom from
other generations save few simple ideas
such as vaccination, ventilation, cleanliness
and education, which take the place of in
stinct or hereditary education in the beast,
and that just enough will fail to reform TO
spoil their plans.
"You have fre.proof buildings" said
the General, tapping the wall with his pipe.
"Yes. Long hammering at their heads has
taught people that their insurance money
will build fire-proof houses, and we are spared
the great waste of CONGREGATIONS. We have
learned also to buy at utility stores, and GUS
toners do not pay so much for magnifcence
as they used to do; but that lesson is imper-
fectly learned and many are still attracted by
glitter; probably mankind will not lose that
savage instinct until the millennium comes
in."
"What is the condition OF the black race
now?" asked the General.
'The question ofrace or color has long ago
ceased to be of any consequence, and, in
truth the whites and blacks have mixed so
much that it seems as natural as the inter-
marriage of the Scandinavian with the Celt.
One of our most advanced thinkers has pro-
nounced that two centuries more will see the
highest civilization in China, attracted thith-
er by coal fields which will control commerce
and manufactures, while the union of the
mixed American race which comprises all
the others, with the Monaghan, will produce
a higher type of man than has hitherto ex-
isfpd II ic hard fn hor no
with the brutal qualities of two thousand
years ago can improve any race, but it would
be pity if they had not some good points to
add to the general stock, and we know that
good fruit can be successfully grated on very
poor native stock, gaining its vitality and los
ing none of its virtues"
Sand how about the Mormons ?" said I.
"To them much was forgiven, for they
loved much" was the smiling reply, ''and
they were gradually absorbed
"Have you united on one religion yet?"
asked Master Cleeves.
"No! we are split up worse than ever, diff
fering good-nataredly but upon more trivial
points. Like the church of the Christians,
which was to unite all denominations; it
finally split in two Oh the question of the
assignment of the four beasts to the angels,
Gabriel, Raphael, Michael and Urie, one
party holding that the man should be assigned
to Michael because he overcame Satan, and
the Eagle to Uriel, while the others hold that
the Eagle should be given to Michael because
that is the correct way; but both agree in
assigning the Lion to Gabriel and the Ok to
Raphael; and both churches are making
many converts"
"Do they give as long sermons now as Par
son Deane did TO US when he preached three
hours and was nightly assisted?' % asked the
General.
"Condensation is most favorably regarded
among u.s." was the reply. ''They have
learned to step when they get to the end, as
did the little boy who described the unicorn,
when he got TO the tassel on the end of his
tall"
"That is virtue one learns when lie gets
into the spiritual world" said Master Cleeves,
sententiously.
My old curiosity about naturalization re-
vived, mingled with surprise that I should
not have learned about it by my own expert
eBce and cautiously introduced the subject.
Chow does Spiritualism flourish ~ I asked.
"Tho Chinese have the monopoly of it
now. 1t agreed with their old faith regard
ing the generation due 10 their forefathers;
and they report wonderful stories of fetching
and carrying, but no practical results yet"
"It is surprising" said I, 'sthat I am still
so little familiar with the subject, after so
long a sojourn in the spirit world"
Master Cleeves blew out cloud of smoke
and said quietly, "Perhaps you have not been
there"
rubbed my eyes and found that was sit
ting up in bed; the gray morning light was
penetrating into my old room, and my COM
panions had vanished.
perhaps haven't" thought I.