Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1876-04-15
Items of Interest.

An empty pocket is no sign for an
empty head.
A Centennial oath: "Don't care
Continental.
New Orleans has nine murders in the
first twenty-one days of March.
Hereafter wife beaters in California
will be punished by public whipping.
To be patient and thorough in all that
one does is to compel success in any call
ing.
Why is a tugboat like a chiropodist2
Because its business is to look after
tows.
What disagreeable person was it that
said the national tune of America is the
spit-toon2
Sixteen centenarians died in Massa-
chusetts last year, eleven of whom were
born in Ireland.
You have lost your little hatchet,"
is the polite way of telling man what
he is, when he is one.
If you would pass for more than your
value, say little. It is easier to look
wise than to talk wise.
When young man cannot live on his
salary, the usual way is for him to live
on the salary of some one else.
The Pennsylvania Senate has passed
the bill forbidding the seizure for debt
of goods exhibited at the Centennial.
Says an editor: "Who drinks all the
whisky made in the United States is
what staggers u.s." 1t is enough to stag
ger anybody.
New Orleans has received 1,204,542
bales of cotton of the present crop, an
increase of 800, 318 bales over the receipts
for the same time last year.
The Centennial Guards of New Or
leans voted unanimously to visit the
Centennial at Philadelphia, and ap-
pointed a committee of arrangements.
The Forsyth (Ga.) advertiser thus
philosophers: ''The soil is the farmers
bank, " says an agricultural writer. Oh,
if more people would break that bank.
A woman of Omaha, one hundred
years of age, has had her grave clothes
on hand for fifteen years, and has had
them washed and ironed once each year.
"Meet me by gaslight alone" said
swain beneath the window of his lady
love. "Now you get out; amt no
gas meeter," replied the gentle crea-
ture.
First boy say, Jimmy, there's no
water. It's frozen, everywhere. Second
boy -" Bully Maybe we won't haveto
wash ourselves till the middle OF
spring!"
Lucern cannot be grown in profitable
competition with clover, where clover
may be grown in perfection. 1t is best
adapted for dry climates, where clover
will not flourish.
Breathes there a man with soul so desd
Who never to himself hath said,
I will family paper take,
Both for my own and children's sake?
II such there be let him repent
And have this paper to him sent.
/ desire, says an author, tc put Meth
ing into these papers which may mislead
nothing foreign to the spirit of the
boy who said he had no copybook
which, dying, he was sorry he had blot
ted.
There is advertised in the London
newspapers "a contrivance which, ap-
piled to the nose for an hour daily, so
directs the soft cartilage of which the
member consists, that an Informed
nose is quickly shaped to perfection. l."
John Quincy Adams made one entry
in his diary which will be indorsed by
every amateur Granger: 81 make two
remarks-one, that theself- planted trees
thrive most vigorously; the other, that
the plants which 1 most cherish are the
most apt to disappoint me and die.
Old lady (holding a very small cab
bage)-" What Ten cents for such
small cabbage never heard of such
thing" Polite grocer's clerk" Yes,
ma'a but its because of the Centen-
NAL ma a'am. There's so many furriners
a-comin' that smoke, cabbages is riz. "
In lumbermen's camp, in Colorado,
dispute arose as to the proper pro-
nunciation of Newfoundland" The
two contestants sent man ten miles
after dictionary, brt while he was gone
the dispute changed to quarrel. One
knocked the other down and was i'm
mediately shot.
A Virginia railroad was made to pay
1875 for killing valuable rooster. The
engineer said he blew the whistle as
kindly as possible but when the rooster
dropped one wing on the ground, raised
his eye heavenward and commenced
whetting his spur on the rail, forbearance
ceased to be virtue, and he let drive
into him with thirteen cars.
Towards the close of ball in Paris
a young lady who was passionately fond
of dancing was asked by her mother to
prepare for the carriage. "Only this
last waltz" entreated the young girl,
and she glided away with her partner.
Suddenly he cried out in horror. The
i young girl had died while in his arms,
and he was waltzing with corpse.
In Great Britain there are 410, 900 men
4 employ ed in the coal mines below the
81 ground, and 100000 engaged above the
ground. The coal mined each year
amounts to 12S,500,0 tons. On an
average cne thousand men are killed
every year and four thousand are wound
ed. In the last half century so, 900 men
have been killed in the mines and some
200, 900 were wounded.