Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-05-08

In what key would a lover write
proposal of marriage BE mine, ah
EkOnomy don't konsist in saving in-
Discriminatory, but in saving judiciously.
Josh Billings.
There's no special style of engraving
engagement rings. A spiders web with
a fly in it is a very pretty device
Don't imagine that you can correct
all the evils in the world. A grain of
sand is not prominent in desert.
Stewards pail bearers represented
twenty millions. But they didn't carry
him any nearer Heaven for all that.
A Granger writes to rural paper to
ask chow long cows should be MIXED 2"
Why, the same as short cows, of course.
They talk about ''short answer turn
ing away wrath" got q short answer
once-a mighty short one-and it made
me madder than ever.
A shrewd old Yankee said he didn't
believe there was any downright cure for
laziness in a man. "But," he added,
1--WE known second wife to hurry it
some"
The new bOnnets are put on sideways,
and the girls of the period will have the
appearance of canary bird just as it is
about to singer a parrot just as it is
about to talk.
Kansas, unable to compete with her
sister States in the matter of girls with
small feet, comes proudly forward with
q Cloud County lass whose foot measures
eleven and three-quarters inches.
A bull rushed into a millinery shop,
causing q stampede among the ladies
present. The women in charge drove
the bovine gentleman out by exhibiting
the price of a spring bonnet.
letters directed to Horace Greeley
are still received frequently at the
Tribune Office. Thay may reach him
eventually by way of the dead-letter Of
fee, hOwever.-Bufaio Express.
When a man buys little bit of a
basket of strawberries no bigger than a
| pint he carries it around ostentatiously
as if it made him tired but he has two
pounds of liver put up in thin paper
like lace shawl
A Minnesota lady, in taking her
morning cape lately, put her jaw out Of
joint. and it was two days before the
doctor could get it in place again. Her
husband says he hasn't had such vaca-
tion since bis married life began.
An elderly Wicklow maiden, who had
suffered some disappointment, thus de.
fines the human race Mana conglom.
crate mass of hair, tobacco smoke, con.
fusion, conceit and boots. Woman-the
waiter, perforce, on the aforesaid animal
Says a Frenchman, who has lived il
America for some years: "When they
build railroad the first thing they d.
is to break ground. This is done will
great ceremony. Then they break th'
stockholders. This is done withou
ceremony"
MAY they always live in peace ant
harmony, was the way marriage no
tice should have wound up; but th,
compositor, who couldn't read manu-
script very well, put in type. and horri
fed the happy couple by making it read
MAY they always live on peas and HON
iny."
Do not imagine when you see one 0
those brOadchested statesmen get up il
mis- place on the floor of the House 0
Representatives. that your soul is abou
to be aroused by a sOnOrOus eloquenct
He carries his paper of chewing tObaee
in his Ooat-tail pocket. and is too fat
reach 1t without rising.
The bobalink is singing.
20 my eyes ]"
The blue-bird is cIinging
To the skies
But the angels they are winging.
!, Down the street their fancies bringing,
! Whilst the very bells are ringing.
! Advertise
r 1t was in New Jersey Sunday-schOO
= The superintendent approached q yout
: Of color, who was present for the FIR
= time. and inquired his name for the pu
pose Of placing it on the roll The gOC
d man tried in vain to preserve his dignit
n when the answer was returned----Wel
massa calls me Cap'n, but my Hoid'
name is Moses"