The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1876-03-10
MIR. Butterwick's Gas EilI.

philadelphia Bulletin.
During one OF the very few cold snaps
that We have had this winter, the gas
meter in Mr.. Butterwick's house was
frozen. Mr.. Butterwick attempted TO
thaw it out by pouring hot water over il;
but, after spending an hour upon the Ell
fort, he emerged from the contest with
the meter with his feet and trous-
ers wet, his hair full OF dust and cobwebs,
and his temper at fever heat. After
studying how he would get rid OF the ice
in the meter, he concluded TO use force for
the purpose, and so scizing a hot poker,
he damned il through vent hole and
stirred it round inside OF the meter with
a considerable amount OF vigor. He felt
the ice give way, ana he heard the wheels
buzz around with rather more vehemencc
than usual. Then he went up stairs.
He noticed for three or four days that
the internal machinery Of that meter
seemed to DO rafting around ina remark
able manner. 1t could be heard all over
the house. But no was pleased to find
that it was working again,in spite OF the
cold weather, and he retained his SC:
renity. go,
About two weeks afterward his gas bill
came. 1t accused him Of burning, during
the quarter, 100000 feet Of gas, and it
called on him to settle to the extent Of
nearly S350,OO0. Before Mr.. Butterwick's
hair had time 10 descend after tho first
shock, he put on his hat and went down
to the gus Office. lie, addressed one OF the
clerks:
elbow much gasdid you make at the
Blank works last quarter
al dunno; about a million feet, l reckon"
"Well, you've charged mcin my bill
for burning half million more than you
made; want you 10 correct it,"
"Less the bill. He-m-m-this is all
right, It's taken of the meter. That's
what the meter says"
"Spose'n it does; l couldn't have burn
ed mOre'n you made"
Cant help that. The meter can't lic."
"well, but how d'you account for the
diflSrence"
dunno. 'Taint our business to so nos
ing and poking around after scientific
truth. We depend on the meter. II that
says you burned 100000 feet, why You
must have burned it, even ii we never
made a foot Of gas out at the works.
10 tCll the honest truth" said Butter
wick, that meter was frozen, and | stir
rCdit qpwith poker and set it whizzing
Price Just the same" said the clerk.
I'VE charge for pOkcrS Just like We do
for gas"
"lou amt actually going to have the
audacity to ask me 10 pay $S5O,O0O on
account Of that pokcr%
III it was $4,000 Id take il with a
Calmncss that would surprise you. Pay
up, or we'll turn of the gas"
Turn itoff and be hanged" exclaimed
Butterwick, as he emerged from the office,
tearing his bill to fragments, Then he
went home, and grusping that too lavish
poker he approached tho meter. 1t had
registered another million feet since the
Dill was made out. 1t was running up u
score Of hundred feet minute. In a
month Butterwick would have owed the
Gas Company more than the United
states Government owes its creditors.
so he beat the meter into ShapelesS mass,
tossed il into the street, and turned of
the gas inside the cellar. ~.
he Is now sitting up at nights writing
an essay on "our Grinding Monopolics,S
BY the light Of a kerosene lamp.