Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-12-08
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HONESTY Is THE BEST PoLICY.-One
day, about three weeks ago, a strange GUS
toner came to a Gratiot street grocer. He
wanted some goods, and he paid cash down.
The next day he made another purchase
and paid cash, and as the days went by his
face and his cash became familiar. One
day he returned with the change given
him and said:
81 believe I am an honest man. You
paid me twenty cents too much"
The grocer received it and was pleased.
Two days after that, the strangerreturned
from the curbstone to say:
"Another mistake on your part; you
overpaid me by four CENTS"
The grocer was glad to have found an
honest man, and puzzled to know how he
could nave counted SO far out of the way.
Three days more, and the stranger picked
up a dollar bill in the store, and said:
s'This is not my dollar. I found it on
the floor and you must take charge of it,
The grocer's heart melted, and he Won
dered if the world was not progressing
backward to old time honesty. A skip Of
one day, and then the honest man brought
down a wheelbarrow, ordered eighteen
dollars worth of groceries, and would have
paid cash had he not forgotten his wallet.
He would hand it in at noon as he went
past, he said, and it was all right with the
grocer.
That was the last of the honest man;
morning fades to noon, and noon melts
away in darkness, but he cometh not.
There are no more mistakes in change
no more dollar bills on the floor, and the
grocer's eyes wear a way-off expression as
if yearning to see some person about two
minutes.
A BAD THING FOR LAwYERs.-A
downcast looking woman, al out forty
years old, called at a lawyers office On
GrisWold street, and asked the attorney if
he could see to a little business for her.
He replied that he could, and she ex-
planned:
my husband went to the Black Hills
over four months ago."
eyes, I see. That is desertion. and good
grounds for a divorce, j" he replied.
sI don't want no divorce, sir. What I
want is for him to send me some money"
"And he won't?"
"Well, he hasn't sent any yet"
Sand what can 1 do ?' asked the law
yer.
"Put a law suit on him, and scare him
into it, she answered.
He gloomily replied that the court here
had no jurisdiction in such a case, and
that he could do nothing.
"Why, if I Was a lawyer, [ could put q
suit on him in an hour-I know [ could ~
she protested.
He shook his head.
"Well, all right,'' she said, as she rose to
go. 81 thought lawyers had some get>up
in 'em, and [ always held my breath when
one passed the house, but something has
opened my eyes. You don't know any
more than 1 do, sir, and I don't know any
thing. Good day. sir"
"Jennie, you're my sweetheart" said q
nine-year old sutton. as he sat alone will.
his hearts idol. the other evening. "How
can I be YOUR sweetheart asked the little
miss, sswhen [ am thirteen years old, and
you only nine?" care you thirteen?'
ssOf course I M" "Well," answered the
juvenile beau, after rejecting a little, ed
been thirteen, too, if [ hadn't been sick so
much when I was little"
The Detroit "Free Press" reports that a
careful estimate by competent old ladies
shows that the number Of Detroit girls who
daily 90 out after autumn leaves is 460.
The number who get any leaves is nine
teen; the number who find beaux and for
get all about autumn is 451.
An exchange asks: eff there's a place
for everything, where is the place for a
boil?" 1t has been said that the best place
for such an ornament is on some other
fellow. And we don't think a better loca-
ton can be discovered!
Can there be anything brought into this
House, asked a Disguised member, dur,
ing the last session of the Legislature,
ssthat will not be repealed sooner or later?"
One of the opposition suggested "a skinned
orange"
The superiority of man to nature is con-
tinually illustrated in literature and IN
life. Nature needs an immense quantity
of ouills to make a goose with; but a man
can make a goose of himself in five minutes
with one quill.
At this season the question which in
terests a boy is not so much whether his
life will be crowned with glory and honor
as whether his new winters vest is going
to be made out of his fathers old trousers.
at a medical examination a young as
pirant for a physician s diploma was ask
ed, "When does modification ensue?"
sWhen you propose and are rejected" was
the reply that greeted the questioner.
Anv excuse better than none. A topper
saws he would be a temperance man in a
minute if it wasn't for his wife. He knows
she'd be lonesome if she hadn't something
to law about and find fault with.
An Illinois minister announced on his
Sunday night bulletin, "The funeral Of
.Judas Iscariot." To which an obliging
follow added. eThe friends of the de-
ceased are cordially invited to attend"
"Have you seen my black-faced ante
lope?, inquired Mr.. Telescope. who had a
collection of animals, of his friend Bottle
lack. mo, I haven't. Whom did your
,b~lackzaced aunt elope With"
81 narrowly escaped being cut off with
a shilling,a said a solemn young man.
SHOW did you escape it?" asked a by
ss.naor .ssMv fatheg had no shilling, s" was