The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-12-06
GANDER-EYES.
How they got Rid ~ Him.

His name was Whistler, and he
olo;med to hail from Missouri. He
strnck Denton last fall, rented farm,
sowed some wheat, had fuss with
his landlord, took an appeal to rocks,
oot reversed, and the cause was re
handed to Justices Court He figured
no chief 'eatifvPr, got himself rehuited
md was permitted to go thence with
ant day ar witness fees. He then mt.
t..hrd himself Ia town, aud hpgan To
nm the institution after his own STYLE.
He WIS slender, cndNvar0us cuss, with
,,e. likpa gauder's, and tongue like
q woodppcker's, He made it point
IN INSPECT all tn" cracks aud crannies
of other peoples business, and to
ran that long tongue into every
hole he found in search of the
little maggots of gossip. He stood
erect on his heels and the calves of his
leo. bowed backwards, Will his
thumbs sought the arm-holeS Of his
vest, and his bosom south of the waist.
band Of his pants, stood forth in re
lief He wore II snuff cOlOred cravat
and standing paper collar He engi.
peerpd the town for six months, and
never for once lost his patience or his
dignity, though it engrossed his entire
time and attention, ana brought him
I'm contact with dive breakers In ltss
than eight months he offered himself
rs acandidate for mayor, against de> |
cent white man, aud all African Of un |
questioned pedigree was ruU against |
him. He DIade a speech, and the
town went to steep, aud snored like
small thunder storm, but he Careered |
through his remarks undaunted and |
uuabashed. Tae negro mounted the
public well frame, and set up an oppo.
stiol speech before he finished, and
drew of bis crowd, but it didn't disar-
range his plan of discussion or shake
his equanimity. The negro called him
---,'Arpet- Dagger and a dead beat, but
"hp paid no attention to it, and pressed
the phantom of office Ikea boy after
June bug. Al the election the town
perpelrated u fraud upon the purity OF
the ballot uoX, 10y voting for him and
the negro IN an old stove, and used
fragments of an old aud very suspi-
ciuus looking shirt for tickets. Wits
tier got one vote in the stove, and this
was on the tail of the shirt. He con
tiuued to run the town nOtwith
standing his defeat. His admiusra-
ton began to grow monotonOus aud
pgfsols interested in the happiness of
the municipality began to turn pale
and contemplate the possibilities of
his becoming fixture, No one was
able to see the end. Insurrection be-
gan TO agitalp the souls OF many aud :
dark pl h. began to mature. The ,
town telt his weight and groaued In
spirit Decay began 70 mark the face
of the community. rrade lauguished,
and it was euident that if he stayed
the beautiful little city would become
a den OF pats and owls.
Al length Il drliyerer arose whose
genius proved quail to the emergency. 9
"Cumuissiuu him! commission him! J
he cried "Let there be II commission ,
from Governor Coke, commanding >
the man Whister's presence at Aus '
TIM Ii WAS partly printed and partly i
written. The great seal of the State I
alistened on it, and IL most charming
piece OF red ribton was attached. The il
incIUsing the document came
in due course OF mail, and bore the
impress, "Austiu, May 9Th, Tex" 1t
WAS most official document IN all
r1suects aud 1t Invested him with full
power aud authority over the capitol
grounds at an annual salary OF 1000
The document bore the undispuleu
stamp of genuineness in every point, {
and would have humbugged the very
elect When he received 1t, his calves
bent backwards AZ iuch further ana
his thumbs took new lease Oh the
of his vest. he lost interest
in the town. aud seemed to look down
on it, with All air OF mlhgIeu I
cou miseration and contempt. lie
coudescpnded no longer to run TIE
machine; impaired his bonanza To ie"
and that uuder the most dismal bonus
of secrecy. He had enemies, and he
feared they would try to cripple his
luck. He administered on ms estate
Immediately, sold his horse and other
assets at u disastrous sacrIilce, raised
enough money to take him to AUSTIN,
auu with all the pomp ana c'rcu'n
slaucp of extemporaueous lottlhess, ne
mounted the stage and rol'eu OUT ''i
the seat of government The LeglSiS'
tu,n wns in session, and his lirSL attack
WAS on the Senate. He stood beside
Senator piner, who would have been
clad to see yaller dog from his ow
home, He took his seat beside the
lawpiver with all the pomp"slty OF
Roman Consul. He thought he o"eo
hi. elevation to the Senator from Dtn'
ton, and his heart was oVe'iio"''E
with gratitude, 81 suppose you Hh""
my business, 'Squire?' said he WY"
the paud+r-eyes, "Wsll no" repIie
the Senator. "Ahw replied the great