The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-10-25
laa Naxer 0ranL


"Rightup them stairs hut be careful
he'll bounce you"
Without answering, he formed melan
choly procession and walked up stair
and in on j. II. o. without any cere
mony.
"Well - saluted the procession as i
entered the fatal door.
~ am printer, sir, in needy circum
stances
DO you drink whisky-straight
mixed or otherwise:"
NO, sir; arm perfectly temperate.
and am connected with the best fami-
lies
DO you smoke or chew :"
My father was tobacco planter, but
| never indulge in the weed, aud my
family Is one Of the best"
Are you good job printer"
The intellectual procession only smiled
sorrowfully. as much "a to say. "try
me-"
Are you general printer
Anothe: patient smile. then senten.
tiously--
"Snpelatiye 80
Now. my dear SIR said the proprie-
tor, ''your success depends upon one
answer--are you from Memphis -
NO SIR" in my trips in the great
valley / always walk around Memphis"
J. II. o. rose up and grasped him by
the hand, saying
"Iou are my man. Go for that Job
| office and make things lively. Tackle the
iron merchants work and everything in
sight, will be absent for AT least two
days, and | am satisfied from your APP
pearance and address that you are the
right man
Forming another procession he
wended his sorrowiul way TO the job
Office, took of his buster, and for about
ten hours caused more havoc and demon
alzation than any previous procession
that had beat It's way over the river
in ten months. lie ran over the
small boyS-using such expressions as
''let me at it.''I'm Old pie, ""oh, let me
cruelty it," "lct me fy at it," The mul.
hilarious dutie. of general printer were
discharged in such manner as to war
rant the belief that prize fighters ser
vices would be necessary TO save the
Office.
After supper lie formed a procession
and dropped into Miles Parker's saloon,
accosting Jim kinnear with
I'm sick man, and temperate man
in fact was never drunk in my life, and
want something mild to make me
lively"
what will you haye:'' said the ana-
be Jim
81 know 50 little about drinks that
bottle labels look like ancient hero
glyphics to me-
What business do you follow z"
queried jim.
IL, sir, through circumstances have
become printer, but am of good fam
"Oh. you are a printer: Lemonade is
what all printers drink
"In youth turned against it. Have
you any pulque1 Give me paiq'e."
Haven't got it,
"Well let me try something. Mix me
up quantity"
Jim made him gin sling. The pro-
cession drank it with avidity, saying
THAT don't suit me-let lie try an
other kind"
Jim mixed rum punch. He drank
that, and gave negative shake Of the
head.
"'raint the thing. Try another"
A whisky punch was next made.
That proved failure, the procession
getting on the outside of it without any
effort. Then followed brandy straight.
None of them suit me. Years ago
drank something out Of bottle with tie
picture OF a rooster on IL, in my fathers
mansion. in Virginia, on the Potomac.
Our family"
Wait" said Jim as smile crossed his
face, an polish you of in about three
seconds" and while the procession
unused and gazed at himse't sorro wfully
in the mirror, Jim spread before him a
cocktail with sparkling beads edging it.
The procession extended his hand to
him saying
"Struck her, begod" Mix me up four
OF them, quick ~
They were made and drank by the pro-
cession.
Now, barkeeper, what's your bill !;
and have you any flne-cut and cigars"
He was supplied.
"Barkeeper, are there any buffers
around about these parts"
"why?" queried Jim.
I'm on it. / don't want any small
man. Give the me largest man YOU can
find.n
III don't want to see you get in any
trouble; but If you'll just step few
doors from here-anywhere round
about-you will be accommodated"
The procession lett. In twenty min
utes from that time it returned, its face
Al. nj 4