Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-05-11
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
TINES are called hard when lazy me

Is IT any wonder that, after being two
years before the mast, a man should nave
acorn to be trodden on now and thens
"No MAN was better inoculated to pre-
Judge pork than my husband was, - says
Mrs Darlington: che knew what good
hogs were, he did; he had been brought
up with 'em from his childhood"
THE hygienists and health-reformers of
the United States expect to hold a health
reform convention" at or near Philadel-
phia, during the Centennial season, when
many of their g biggest guns" will be
A GENTLEMAN writing to his San Fran
cisco agent, wound up by saying, take
good care of Julia He carelessly al
lowed his wife to see the letter, and it re-
CURED big talk to explain the difference
between mine and feminine. alto
California. .Tsst
WHEN widow presses your hand and
tells you how she has made four dozen
clothes-pegs last her twelve years, and
she droops her eyes and says a paper of
pins lasts three years, and she looks up
and smiles q rosy smile, how on earth is
a fellow TO break away and leave that
house and convince himself that she loves
him only for his wealth?
WHAT satisfaction it is to be able to
find fault with ones neighbor To get
hold of real weak place in anOther's life
seems to be a kind of excuse for our own
misdeeds IF we spent half the time in
looking our own lives over that we will
lingly give to discover some failing in 9TH
ers, we should find ourselves too busy in
the work Of reformation to pay much at
tention to the faults of our friends. p.
GEORGE W. SMITH, ten year old boy,
was arraigned at the Hastings Court yes
terday for disturbing public worship at
St. Peters Cathedral The Court ordered
a noZle prosequ5 to be entered on condition
that the youngster should be taken to the
city Jail and whipped by his mother.
Sergt. Cummins took him to jail and held
the little culprit to the whipping-post
while his mother soundly thrashed him
with a leather strap.-Ricbnaond (Va)
Wing. ~ r9,ay. ~
Four San Francisco boys organized
themselves into thieving association,
excluding another because he was only
twelve years old, they being about a year
older. The excluded boy, knowing where
they intended to do their first robbery
,,paoa6nH 4haro a,1 ha hottie Of I1Tiy,o
they had planned to steal. Then they
took him in, fitted up robbers cave'
in cellar, and went out on predatory
excursions until, by selling their plumber,
they had $40 in the treasury. At a
business meeting they quarreled so loudly
about dividend that a policeman over
heard them and they were arrested.
a DETROIT widow lady was highly de-
lighted the other day when a od-yard
wagon drove up and half a cord of stove
wood was thrown into her yard. She had
given no order, had no money to buy
wood with, and, running into a neigh
bors, she exclaimed: See how nv
dream came to pass! Last night I
dreamed that some one had brought me
load of wood, and beholdl it is here"
Congratulations were rendered, and sew
eral people were feeling good when the
man came back for the wood it having
been thrown off at the wrong place, and
as the boy pitched it out of the yard his
demeanor wasn't at all dreamy.
Two graceless scamps in Brooklyn sent
to forty of the clergymen of that city on
April FOOLS Day, notes remarkiHg that
Louisa B. Campbell and Ferdinand NJ.
Bristow desired to be married at the
PierrepOnt House, at three O'Clock on the
afternoon of that day, by each Of those
clergymen. The consequences were
alarming. Clergyman after clergyman
beset the clerk of that hotel during the
fifteen minutes Immediately following
three o'clock. Each showed his note and
asked for his bridegroom; was told that
there was no such person in the house,
and went away suddenly and appreciat-
ingly. Fulton was among them. Tai
mage and Rev. DR.. Storrs sent word that
they were engaged. MIR. Beecher had
been invited but was wise and made no
sign. The perpetrators Of the 'sell"
stayed in the waiting room till they had
counted thirty clergymen, and then went
away and thought it was funny.
"Y0U love me DO longer" said bride
of few months to her better-half in his
gown and slippers. 9 Why do you say
that, Puss?'' he asked, quietly removing
cigar from his lips. o You do not caress
me, nor call me pet names, you no longer
seek so anxiously for my company" was
the fearful answer My DEAR" con-
tinued the aggravating wretch, 2" did you
ever notice a man running after car.
How he does run over stones, through
mud, regardless of everything till he
reaches the car, and he seizes hold and
swings on. Then he quietly seats him
self and reads his paper" And what
does that mean 2" AN illustration, my
dear. The car is as important to the man
after he gets in as when he is chasing it,
but the manifestation is no longer called
for. | would have shot any one who put
himself in my way when in pursuit ofyou,
as would now shoot any one who would
come between US; but as proof Of my
love you insist OF my running after the