The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-24
NIIUIH I|I||III N|II|| y IIIIIN = y
RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR.
Mark Twain Experiences a I" Campaigns OF
-neil mo Defamation"

Mark Twain Experiences a Campaign OF
SAN h"o Defamation"
A few months ago was nominated
for Governor of the Preat State Of New
York, to run against Stewart l.. Wood.
ford and John Il. Hoffman, on an indie
pendent ticket. / somewhat felt that
had one prominent advantage over these
gentlemen, and that was good character.
1t was easy to sec by the newspapers
that if they had ever known whnt it was
to bear q good name, that time had gone
by. 1t was plain that in these latter
years they had become familiar with oil
manner of shameful crimes. But at the
very moment that 1 was exnlting my
advantage and joy'ng in it in secret,
there was muddy undercurrent OF dis
comfort riling" the deeps of my hap
piness-and that was the having to hear
my name banded about in familiar con-
nection with those of such people.
grew more aud more disturbed. Finally
l wrote my grandmother about it. Her
answer came quick ana sharp. She
said
You have never done one single thing in all
your life to be ashamed of--not one. Look at
the newspapers-look ut them and comprehend
what sort OF characters Wooaford and Hoffman
are, and then see il you ara willing to lower
yourself to their level and enter public cam
vass with them.
1t was my very thought I did not
sleep single moment that night. But
after all, could not recede, was fully
committed and must go on with the
fight. AS was looking listlessly over the
papers at breakfast, came across this
paragraph, and 1 may truly say never
was so confounded before:
PERJURY. - Perhaps, now That Mr.. Mark
Twain is before tue people as candidate for
| Governor, he will condescend to explain how
he came to be convicted Of perjury by thirty
| four witnesses, in Wakawak, Cochin China in
1868, the intent Of which perjury wss to rob
poor native widow and her helpless family OF a
meager p,antain patch, their only etay and
| support in their bereavement and their desola-
ton. Mr.. Twain owes it to himself, az well as
to the great people whose suffrage he asks, to
clear the matter up. VIII he do it?
I thought should burst with amaze
ment Such cruel, heortless charge
never heard Of Walsawak l didn't
know plantain patch from kangaroo
/ aid not know what to do. was crazed
and helpless. l let the day slip away
without doing anything at all. The next
morning the same paper had this
nothing more:
SIGNIFICANT MI Twain, il will be observed
is suggestively silent about the Cochin China
perjury.
Mem.-During the rest of the cam
paign this paper never referred to me in
any other way than as "the infamous
perjurer Twain.
Next came the Gazette with this:
WANTED TO KNow.-Will the new candi-
date for Governor deign to explain TO certain
OF his fellow-citizens (who arc suffering to vote
for him y the little circumstance OF his cabin
mates in Montana losing small valua5les from
time 70 time until at last, these things having
been invariably found on Mr. Twains person
or in his trunk newspapers he rolled his
traps IND. they felt compelled to give him a
friendly admonition for his own good, and 80
tarred and fea.hered him and rode him on a
rail. and then advised him to leave permanent
vacuum in the place he usually occupied in the
camp. Will he do this?
Gould anything be more deliberately
malicious than that9 ForI never was in
Montana in my life.
After this, this journal customarily
spoke of me as "Twain, the Montana
Thief"
1 got to picking up papers apprehen-
sively-much as one would lift desired
blanket which he had some idea might
have a rattlesnake under it. One day
this met my eye:
The LIE NAILED.-By The sworn sflidavits
OF Michael O'Flanagan, Esq, OF the Five
Points. and Mr. Kit Burns and John Allen, OF
Water street, it ia established that Mr.. Marx
Twain's vile sentiment that the lamented
grandfather OF our noble standard bearer, John
7. Hoffman, was hanged for highway robbery
is brutal and gratuitous LIE, without single
shadow OF foundation i'm fact 1t is dishearten
pg TO virtuous men to SEQ such shameful
means resorted to, to achieve political success
HI the attacking OF the dead IN their graves
and defilipg their honored names with SANDER
, When we think of the anguish this miserable
falsehood must cause the innocent relatives
and friends OF the deceased, we are almost
driven to incite an outraged and insuted pub
lie TO summary and unlawful vengeance upoI
the traducer. But no-let us leave him to TIA,
agony Of lacerated conscience Though il
, passion should get the better of the public
, aud in its blind fury they should do the ira
|. Queer bodily injury, it ia but too obvious tina
no jury could convict and no court punish TIA,
, perpetrators Of the deed).
1 The ingenious closing sentence hat
the effect of moving me out of bed wit
= dispatch that night, and out at the bacl
: door also, while the outraged and in
4 suited public" surged in the front way
!, breaking furniture and windows in thei
righteous Indignation as they came, anC
taking off such property as they coult
carry when they went And vet l col
lay my hand upon the book and say tim
L never slsndered Gov. Hoffman 8 grand
father. More 1 never even heard o
him or mentioned him up to that Ola,
and date.
1 will state, in passing, that the jour
. nal above quoted from always referre.
to me afterward as Twain, the Body
Snatcher.
The next newspaper article that at
: tracted my attention was the following
SWEET CANDIDATE. Twain, VIII,
!, was to make such blighting speech at a mass
Il meeting of the Independents last night, didn'
i come 10 time A telegram from his physical
a stated that he had been knocked down by
g runaway team and his leg broken in two place
:, sufferer lying in great agony, and 40 forth
J and 80 forth, aud q lot more bosh Of the sam
s sort. Aud the Independents tried hard q
n swallow the wretched subterfuye and preten'
n that they did not know what was the req
;, reason OF the absence Of the abandoned crea
: ture whom they deuominate their STANDARD
u bearer. A certain man ,o1s seen to reel int