Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-02-18


on beholding its banks fer the third time.
| was lost. was bcwildered, daZed, CON
fused. There was general feeling that
| was lost, and yet lack Of mental ca
pacity TO appreciate the fact. The intel
lectual force to grasp the present situa-
tion, or devise plans for the future,
seemed lacking. 1t was a complete end
vacuous bewilderment, In which the only
thought definable was the general one OF
being lost. This affected the physical
man with stupor. There was no desire
of motion or action Of any sort; only to
stand still lost in the mazes. To this sue
ceeded a feeling of fright--a mild form of
terror. | became scared at what might be
the results of being lost. As the possible
accidents of such condition passed
rapidly before the mind, the feeling of
fright intensified, and took possession of
the physical body. | became violently
active and ran to and fro in frutless and
unintelligent efforts to find a landmark
The perspiration burst from every pore
from the excitement under which labored.
| was unable to collect my thoughts for
considerable time sufficiently to think
over the best course to pursue. AT length
/ mastered my fright enough TO mount the
horse, and stand up in the saddle, in
woods on the other stream. But could
see nothing. This increased my fright,
and galloped out a short distance on the
prairie and shouted, though | knew there
could scarcely be any one within hail.
But | must be in motion, and so rode ON
shouting, and of course increasing my ex-
citement with every BREATH
soon thought better of this, however,
and determined to strike for the river
again, as it seemed to be the only feasible
course, If | kept to the right, | could
certainly reach it, and surely had
enough mind TO keep TO the right So |
rode on and on, bearing stubbornly to the
right. All this time my imagination was
haunted by visions of what would happen
to me if | was lost These visions all
terminated in lingering death, and were
of such Kaleidoscope hues that my fright
became actual terror. And over that
hung, like funeral pail, the dazed, he
wldered feeling that took away the power
of reasonable thought.
After | had ridden for some time, |
struck an old disused cart-track on the
prairie. / was overcome with Joy at
sight of it, considering myself found
again. My terror vanished, leaving only
| a vagna fright which unnI1 r4afhe
satisfied until the track had been eX-
plored, and found to lead in the right d-
rection. rode down it, in what sup
posed to be the right direction for about
half a mile, when it disappeared in
marshy ground. Thinking that probably
l had mistaken the way, | turned about
and followed it in the other direction. At
| the distance of mile it faded away in the
prairie, and l could find no trace of it
again.
When realized that | had lost the only
thread which promised TO restore me To-
life, the terror which had left me in
measure again took possession Of me with
increased power. 1t was powerful, per-
vading terror, but not definable as to its
object, excepting general dread of a lin
| gering death in some form. Added to
| this came despair of ever being found
again. AS the terror increased--as il did
constantly from the horrible pictures pre-
sented by a morbid imagination-so the
despair augmented also, until it became
almost impossible to think on any detina
BILE subject at all ] would pass minutes
! during which could not atterward tell
| what thou 5hts lIad occupied tho mind
1t seemed perfect blank. 1t did not
even occur to me that, in following the
track in the last direction, had turned
completely about, and was returning 10
| It(D5eTe SCI, until was upon its banks.
| Though knew that of course l ought to
he there from the direction | had taken,
| yet, when | found myself by the stream
again, the feelings of terror and despair
deepened. | Immediately turned about
to Tetrace my steps, without observing
any distinct course of travel.
was too much confused and bewil-
dered to lay any definite plans, and had
only one general thought--a desire to see
some one again. 1t did not point to any
particular individual as the person to be
seen; any face would do, so it was human.
| would have hailed the appearance of
my worst enemy with delight. This de-
sire, Us | iourneyed on, took almost COM
plete possession of me to the exclusion of
the other feelings, and especially of that
vague bewiIderm ent which overshadowed
me. There was nothing misty or hazy
now; all the faculties seemed awfully
acute, and all ringing the changes on one
cry, 81 want to see some Onei" 1t seemed
to me that | must see q human being
again; that it was impossible should al
WAYS be alone. g Oh, if could only see
somebody This was the burden of my
thought. Every other earthly OBJECT
dwindled into insignihcance before that
intense desire for human companionship I;
in fact, thought of nothing else,
| rode on thus for nearly an hour, some
lmts at RAPID pace, at oJner times at u
gentler gait. Then looked up, and saw
column of smoke rising straight into the
clear sky, but short distance Off, / gal
loped rapidly toward it, and, rounding a
clump of trees, appeared suddenly before
Il man burning chips in his door yard. |
was found again, two and half miles
from where | had started from in the
morning. 1t was four O'Clock in the at
teTnoon. f'
In relating this experience the writer ar
rogates to himself only a peculiar sus-
ceptibility TO the feelings of terror and
despair, and comparatively social habit.
He believes firmly, however, that another
day Of such experience would have re-
suited in temporary alteration of mind
II. A. RObirs0D III A7Dlek0n's JOltTndI