The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1876-08-04
rMR.aNSITTH,B 10Y.
His startling Statements Con.
ceFninH His Family.

| A family named Smith has recently
moved to dermAntUwn, and Mr.. Browne
boy on Saturday leaned over the fence
and gayeto reporter his Impressions Of
Mr.. Smiths boy, lad about u years
old I'D
eYes, me and him are right well &C
ouainted now; he knows more,n do
And he's had more experience. Bill says
his father used to 10 a. robber (smith, BY
| the way, Ia a deacon in the Presbyterian
church, and very excellent laEyerl anu
| that he has ten million dollars In gold
buried in his cellar, along Ehh q w n
lot Of human bones, people ne hleu;
And he says his father Is conlusor, ana
Thai he makes all the earthquakes that
banpen anywhere 10 the world. The old
mani come home at night, after there's
been an earthquake, all covered with
sweat and so tired he kin hardly stand.
| Bill SAYS it's such hardWork. LlJs
MAnd Bill tole me that once, when a
man came around there trying 10 sell
lightning rods, his. father got mad and ct
him right up, and heI takes. bites ont Of
everybody he comes aerost. That's what
Bill tells me. That's al ! know about 1t.
And he told me that once he! used to have
dog; one Of these little kind Of dogs, and
he was Aging his kite, mdIjust for fun be
tied thes kite-string on u his dogs tail.
And then the wind struck her and, hia dog
went Hboomin' down the Gtreet, with his
hind legs In the air for about a mile, when
the kite Of sudden begun to go up, and
in about minute the dog was fifteen
miles high, and commanding view Of
California, and Egypt and Oshkoah, l
think Bill said. He came down anyhow,
| ! know, in Brazil, and Bill said he SWIM
home all the way in the Atlantic, ocean,
and when, he landed his legs was all nib
bled of by sharks: ua =
81 wish father'l buy me u dog, SOS /
could send him up that way. But ney,
ef have ! no luck. Bill said that where
they used 10 live hew out on the rod,
one day, 10 fly his kite, and he sat on top
Of the chimbly to give her plenty Of
room, and, while he was sitting there
thinking about nothing, the old man put
q key Of powder down below in the fire.
place to clean the SCOT out Of the chimbly.
And when lie touched her of, Bill was
bowed over agin the Baptist church
steepIe, and he landed on the weather.
cock, with his pants torn, and they
couldn't get him down for three days, so
he hung there, going round and round
with the wind, and helived by eating the
crows that came and sat on him, because
they thought he was made Of sheet.iron,
and up there on purpose. q ~
"He's had more fun than enough. He
was telling me, the other day, about sau-
sage.stuffcr his brother invented. 1t was
Kind er machine that worked with
treadle; and Bill said the way they did in
tho fall was to fix il on the hog's back,
and connect the treade with string, and
then the hog'd work The treadle and keep
on running It up and down until the MAJ
chine cut the hog all up fine and showed
the meat into the skins. Bill said his
brother called &c Every Hog His Own
Suffer- and il rworked splendid,l But !
don't know. Pears TO me as il there
COULDN'T 70, 20, machine like that But
any way, BIZ said o!fEFlEl-l P-t ~ ,
And he told me about an uncle OF his
out in Australia, WHOM ct by big
oyster once, and when he got inside he
stayed there until he'd Ct the oyster.
Then he split the shell open and took
half one fol, d boat, and he sailed along
until he met q sea serpent, and he Killed
il and drawed off It's skin, and when he
got home he sold II to an engine company
for hose, for forty thousand dollars, 70
put out fires with. Bill said that was
actually 30, because he could show me a
man who used TO belong to the engine
company. wish father d let me go out
to find sea serpent like that; but he.
don't let me have no chance to distinguish
myselt.
"BilI was saying, only yesterday, that
the Indians caught him once and drove
eleven railroad spikes through his stom.
ach, and cut off his scalp, and never hurt
him bit. lie said hc got away by the
daughter Of the chief shaking him out OF
the wigwam and lending him horse.
Bill says she was in love with him, apd
when | asked him 10 let me see the holes
where they drove in them spikes, he said
he darsn't take of his clothes or he'd
bleed to death. He said his own father
didn't know it, because Bill was afraid it
might worry the old man. ~
i"And Bill told me they wasn't going
to get him TO go to Sunday school. He
says his father has brass idol that he
keeps in the garnet, and Bill says he's
made up his mind to be a pagan, and be-
gin 10 go naked, and carry tomahawk,
and bow and arrow, as soon "a the
warm weather comes. And 10 prove it
TO me, he says his father has this town
all underlaid with niiro.glycerine, and
as soon as he gets ready. he's going to
blow,the old thing out, and bust her up,
let her rip and demollsh her. He said
SO down u the dam, and tole me not TO
tell anybody, but l thought they'd be no
harm In mentioning it to you.
"And now / believe ! must be going. l
hear Bill 'a.whistliug. Maybe he's got
something else totell me-"