The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-10-28
VARIETY.

Sitting Bull is not much of n fiddler. Ills
brother Ole is the man for that sort of business.
Rochester Democrat.
Soliloquy by tippler-The public always
notices You when you have been drinking, and
never when you are thirsty
One of the city dentists is put down in the
directory dealer in molasscs, possibly be-
cause he produces sorghum
One of the earliest printers on record is said to
have been the Emperor Traian, who set up
column in Rome.
IL is singular how carly in life child gains
the reputation of resembling its richest and
best-lOOking relations.
4 clergyman in Exeter, England, addressed
meeting Of licensed victuallers christian
friends,'' and he had to wait for them to have
their langh ont.
Rain in the-Facc vas present IN the battle Of
the Rosebud, but where were Oldham Afraid-of-
IIis-IIat and Pull-Down-Your-Vest in that
engagement?
A western paper coarsely calls the Chinese
Immigrant a beat Regarding him vegeta-
ble we should prefer to speak of him as a queue
conner.
Spilkins's boy has been to Coney Island and
now he wants to know whether those fellows
who are kicking up row in the East are three
card Montenegrins- York Com. AdreP-
HSer
Anna Dickinson is wearing $3.50 hustle in
ga Crown of Thorns.'' We don't pretend to
say that the hustle is made of the same material
as the crown. Anna sits down too gracefully
for that
They were talking of death, when one man
asked ''What were his last words?' ''Ile
didn't say anything was the reply. ''That's
Just like him. said the first man, with anapprov-
ing nod. "There was no gas about him. lie
was all business"
'sClarenee, you've got real kind heart
gratefully observed Il young lady on the cars to a
saIlow faced youth as he dropped prize package
of popcorn in her lap. s'Yes' Mary, my heart's
all right he sadly replied, 'what want is a
new liver. ''-BroOklyR argus
IL is said that if a man is walking for health
and enjoyment, four miles an hour is the best
gait. This may be true as regards health, but
for enjoyment We remember one night when it
took us four hours to walk mile. 1t happened,
however, that the old folks had gone to camp
meeting and she had the night KEY, and, as far
it took all night.-NorIcich Bulletin.
SHE BACKED Orr-It was a dark night There
was n long ladder. The boat was moored near
the wharf. The stalwart young man rowed beau
tifully. But she changed her mind in the middle
of the river and insisted upon returning to her
father. He emplored her to keep her promise; he
went; he vowed. Sentiment went to waste; he
ton, Del. at daybreak, and there stood an old
man with a shotgun on his shoulder. Papa
she said, 'swe'ye had such a nice ride on the
river
They were fond of each other, very. and had
been engaged. But they quarreled and were too
proud to make it mp. He called few days ago
at her fathers house-to see the old gentleman
on business, of course. She answered his ring at
the door bell. Said lie, s'Ah, Miss,
believe; is your father within ?''
.'No, sir she replied; spa is not in at pre-
sent Did you wish to see him personally ?'
ssYes, miss was his bluff response, feeling |
sonal business and he proudly turned to go
away.
II beg your PARDON she called after him rs |
he struck the lower step, ''but whO+shall say
called?" lie never smiled again
TIE omnibus was the other day quite full of /
undergraduates returning to their respective |
colleges. The day was wet, cold and miserable. /
f'IIaye yOu any room for one inside for Oxford p
asked as pretty girl one would wish to see I
on n summers day,-''Lots Of room,' cried the 4
insides. I'VE are not very large, can man.
age to take one more The fare was paid by /
the Young lady, cautiously to bind the con- !
tract All right responded the CONDUCTOR
4sCome along, grandfather ~ cried the damsel, /
addressing most espectable-looking, portly, /
elderly gentleman; ''the money is paid-get in, t
and be sure you thank the gentlemen;" at the /
same time suting the action to the word, and, /
with 4 wicked smile, assisting her respected |
grandfather into the omnibus.-''Ilere's some /
mistake you'll squeeze us to DEATH" cried the .
astonished insides. But at that moment off went |
the omnibus, and he, instead ot.she, settled down |
pondeFously between two Of them