The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1876-09-21
HUMOROUS.

tire ofdilapidated respectability, call
ed at a Danbury house last Friday
morning for '1unch." He said he
was travelling from Boston to Buffalo,
at which latter place nc had great
expectations. lie sat down at the
kitchen table, with his longlegs coil
ed up under it, and his long arms
spread out upon it, while his ponder
Gus nose stood out like a grease spot
on pair of white pants.
The woman of the house brought
him a plate of bread and meat and II
bowl of coffee. While she was plac-
ing the things he noticed that she
wore a black dress and a look of pal
lor
"IIad death, madam" he softly
inquired as he squared himself for
the rcpast.
"Yes, sir"
Tatcly?'
%ast Tuesday" she answered,
family.
81 was sure of it, Father? moth
or? sister? brother?" he asked tax
ling up a piece Of meat with one hand
and slapping it appetizingly upon a
piece of bread with the other.
"My husband, SIR she said draw
ing out a handkerchief, while her
lips quivercd, She looked so white
and sad and dropping as she sat there,
that his heart was touched.
"Did he die natural dcath?' he
asked, softly chewing on the food and
bending the full glance of his large
eyes upon her.
eyes, sir"
ats bad thing for one so young
as you to lose her protector. But he
diedanatural death, and there is com
fort in that" He slapped another
piece of meat upon another piece of
breadanquictly puthis teeth through
them.
"You know" he presently added,
revolving the morscl in his mouth
and assuming an appearance of deli
cate checrfulness, chat he died calm
| ly with every want attended to, and
loving hands to administer to him
could trouble you for little mus
tard?" She YEARLY arose and got
him the article. "Therc's comfort in
that isn't therc?" he continued, re-
fcrring to the passing away of the de-
ceased.
"Ycs," she said in low tone, wip'
ing her eyes.
"Now you know, he said, looking
intently at her with his eyes, while
his hands spread the mustard, "it
might have been much different and
far worse. He might have been run
over by train of coal cars and cut
into pound Jumps and stuck full Of
gravcl?"
81 know said she, with a shivcr.
"Then, again, he might have been
blown up in detective saw-mill,
said the stranger, takinganothcr bite
of the food, and gently closing his
eyes as if the better to picture the If,
rcdeomable horror of his proposition,
"and only about two-thirds of him
and that badly damaged, ever return.
ed to your agonizcd sight"
a low sob behind the handkerchief
was the only response, while he open
ed his eyes in time to detect a fly
MISUNDERSTANDING efforts to shake
its hind legs from the mustard. Com
ing mechanically to the assistance O
the insect, he said:
at is bad enough TO lose him. III
admit that. No one would be so cal
louscd as to deny that" he said, look
ing around inquiringly, as if to make
sure that no such n party was il
sight. "Still, it could have beer
much worse, you know. lie might
have been prematurcly perforated
with the ramrod of a cannon, and haC
to have had chloroform injected in
him at an expense of S25 a day
But if he'd fallen into a vat of hot OF,
and got all Of his flesh peeled off
you'd never got over it would you?"
"No sir" said she, burrying her
face still deeper in her handkerchief
ooh, there are u hundred ways he
might have died, he went on taking
a sweep with the knife at u fly, in the
lnxuhnroncn Of b;e 1olipbf tboi thinps