Weekly Trinity journal., 1876-12-02
AN ASTONIsHED MINISTER.

Old Birthstone Wills-so everybody
calls him-is pastor Of our church. He
has long been known as an eccentric
preacher, and can knock more square feet
of religion out of any text in the Bible
than all the rest of the ministers in the
town put together. Cceeds, dogmas and
forms all fail with Old Birthstone, and no
matter how often you hear him the sub
ject of his discourse always winds up with
a highly dramatic picture of the agonies
of the sinner and the heat of the place
prepared for him. Sulphur and blue
bazes are his only topics, and he expounds
them in manner forcible enough to make
a strange hearer thinl he is sitting on a
dynamite barrel waiting for it to be touch
ed Off OF course his popularity has
ceased to attract attention in our town,
but somehow or other Old Birthstone al
ways breaches to crowded houses every
Sunday night. Saturday morning, as
several of our prominent men were stand
ing in frontof Moore's grocery they We're
accosted by rough, seedy-looking coun-
tryman, who inquired if they knew whore
he could dispose Of lot of sulphur.
Is it good sulphur ?" asked the wag
of the party, winking at the rest.
" Yes, of course, it's good" was the
reply.
"Will it burn readily ?"
Well, reckon it will !"
Think it would scorch devil ?" per-
sisted the wag.
The countryman gave him an injured
look and was about to drive off, when the
wag stopped him by asking if he really
wanted to sell the load.
Yes sir-ee," was the response.
" Well" said the wag, | know man
who will buy it from you if it is good
article to burn. See that white house
standing back from the road ?" he added,
pointing directly at Old Brmstonc's resi-
dence. Just step there, inquire for Mr..
Wills, and tell him you have a load OF
tirst-class sulphur. lie is a little peculiar
and will try to make you believe he don't
use it, but stick to him right close and |
am sure you can make "a bargain. Watch
him sharp, however, tur he will swear that
he is minister, SO he can get your load
for hall-pricc, but just tell him that trick
is too old, aud he'll cave right in."
"I'jl watch him" replied the country
man As he drove Oft, followed by the
entire party, who took II near cut and
teaching hearing distance, hid themselves
to await the result of the interview.
In response to the countryman's ring,
Old Birthstone himself appeared at the
door.
Want any sulphur? ?" inquired the
countryman, closely eying the form before
him.
Sulphur ? Do want any sulphur :?
No, sir, | have no use for sulphur" re-
piled the old man, in amazement.
Come, now, know better than that, :"
replied the countryman, winking at Lin
familiarity.
Why, my dear sir, am a minister.
What use have for load Of sulphur ?"
gasped the astonished clergyman.
ooh, that's too thin, old feller. Come
now, stop lying and tell me what you'll
give me for two barrels Of sulphur ?'
81 tell you | am a minister" fairly
shrieked the old man.
"That's too thin, l tell you," replied
the countryman with an oath.
Oh you vile sinner You blasphe-
nous wretch Are you not aware there
is a lake Of fire prepared for those who
take in vain the Creators name ?" asked
the Mortified old man, trembling with ex-
element.
"A lake of what ?" gasped the coun-
tryman.
" A lake Of fire and birthstone, where
the fire never quencheth and the sulphur
never faileth," slowly repeated the man
Of prayer.
THAT may all sound very well !" re-
piled the bewildered countryman, but
| would like to know who runs that fire" D."
Why, sir, have you never heard OF
the pit OF iniquty prepared for the devil
aud his angels ? They, my dear sir, tend
this everlasting fire."
Well, then, old fellow" laughed the
countryman, firmly believing the Old man
was little demented, don't you think
you had better buy this lot of sulphur in
case the supply runs short down there ?''
With skriek of agony Old Birthstone
darted into the house, leaving the coun-
tryman to hunt for another customer for
his sulphur, and as he left town with the
same two barrels, it is safe to presume
that he found nobody willing to purchase
his fiery commodity.-Mobte Register.
''Is there anything SO delightful as the