Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-07-08
FACTS AND FANCIES.

" SPNdh VI.
| A Georgia planter has peaches and
pltms growing OH the same tree The
plum branches were grated on peach
tree.
The English war Office reports 32 Off
GERS still living who took part i'm the bat
tie Of Waterloo. Yet this battle was
fought 81 years ago. .e
A judge in sentencing man TO death
observed: prisoner at the bar you will
soon have to appear before another and
perhaps abetter judge ae
A Connecticut farmer finds guinea
hens the best potato bug destroyer lie
has tried. He keeps 20 of these fowls,
and they do their work thoroughly.
DR.. Tying suddenly said to young
man in the gospel tent, MY friend, are
you Il Christian p No, Sir" was the
startled answer, 'I'n-I'm only re-
porter"
4 South Carolina paper says: "But-
ter goes begging in Pickelis ut ten cents q
pound" it is comforting To know that
the PickcIs butter has sufficient strength
to go begging.
| Mr.. Raiser was married to Miss Stropp,
in New Jersey, last week. No allllsion
to the ''raggel edge are now in order ;
and amy reference to ''liltle shayers" is
expressly prohibited.
Dr. Schmidt, of the Athens Observable
~, Greece, has completed IL map of the
moon, upon which he expended 81 years
labor. 1t contains 81 craters anil hills,
besides $50 other objects. 's
In Philadelphia they have handker
chiefs with the Declaration of Independ.
cnce printed OH them in French. German
and English, SO that one can blow hi:
nose in three languages in the Quaker
City.
Aunt EIlwood. 4 moti,erly old colOred
woman of Boston. responds to a soldier
who asks the number OF her children, 81
have three. honey, that has to scufflt
! farAarsl ts,rna c..,rtft.. ti,n,r
selves"
San Antonio Ci'exas) Herald: s'Rob
binS stages has got TO lie SO easy III
amusement that when Il San Antoni,
boy is not on hand ut dinner, the old MAJ
says, Just as like rs not we will have {
stage robbery i'll our family before night.
Two c::rd-playing friends were passing
through a pine forest, when one asked
the other the audacivus conundrum /:
"Why cannot the proprietor of this for.
est fell his own timber?- because no
one is allowed to cut when 1t is his own
| deal. 1
''Doctor,'' said a lady to her physician,
'don't you think that the small bonnets
that the ladies wear nowadays have a
tendency to produce congestion of the
brain ?" mo, madame; where you see
one of these bonnets there is no bl ain to
congest."
"Well, Pat" said an indulgent master
to his coachman, who had just been de-
scribing the glories of a St. Patrick's day
dinner, "was your appetite sated 90 ssSat-
ed. is it, your honor? Sure an it wasn't.
1t had to sthand up along wild mcself
most of the time.'' i,,r.a,. -
Medium-"The spirit of the late MIR.
Jones is present. Jones' widow with
emotion)-"Iho hope you are happy, Jones?"
Jones Craps out)-"Far happier than l
ever was on carthr' Jones' widow
"Oh, Jones! then you must be in Heav-
en-" Jones-"On the contrary!
Central Pennsylvania has potato-bucs.
and as the worthy husbandman in drab
wanders about his garden he remarks
feelingly to his wife, 'Verily, Martha, the
spirit almost moves me to eject with ve-
hemencc sundry of the quaint phrases
common with the lost ones of the worlds
people, .a
An English paper says: 'sThe immense
landing stages at Liverpool are complet-
ed The docks of the port now cover an
area of 42O acres and form a continuous
line of more than six miles in length
Their value is e2O,OOO,O0O. Twenty
thousand vessels enter the port of Liver
pool every year." 9f Il
A ''habitual criminal" having been
sharply taken to task the other day by a
magistrate i'm Paris, replied that the mag
istrate was very "ungrateful to treat him
so." Sand why, pray ?" "Because, your
honor, if it were not for men like me who
make you necessary you would have no
place and no pay!"
Referring to the new rule of the Ver-
mont Central railroad, which requires
every employe to take the total abstin-
ence pledge, and visits every violation
thereof with dismissal, Philadelphia
paper says this has been the rule on the
railroad, with its $4,000
Tor number of years.
20, no, you don't spend money, but / |
spend tall,' said Mrs. Swipes to her hus-
band. 'lf that's so. where do you get
money to play pedro and come bone TO
the bosom of. your family stonc-blind
drunk? Don't deny it, Swipes, for you
know somebody blacked your eyeglasses
the other day, and you was so drunk you
thought it was midnight, and came home
with lantern in your hand in the middle !
Of the day.