Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1876-10-12

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Where the Laugh GENES in.
.noiIrN - .TOa---7fkH III .ETD
ST Louis Republican: = The oyster
this season appears to be, If possible,
a little more Portlyg thapJ usual
Most of him is below the belt.
Mrs. Carr. OF Quebec, hanged her
self with her false hair last week.
The coroner's verdict was that the
Car was demolished by misplaced
switch" .
Free Press: Swaterloo, OF the st.
Louis Republican, was once engaged
to a Cincinnati girl who bad $4,000
n the bank She Eanted l5m 70 pad
his legs, and gull opened between
them.
Norristown Herald: 4 woman in
Council Bluffs, Iowa, sold her hus-
bad for = hrislle.oow, cali -.ni go
Iowa. but ptrk.bsit lasldtSsw
and a counterfit $40 note. zeE
A hundred years ago when you call
ed on a girl she kissed you goodby.
Now il you suggest anything OF the
sort her father calls you into the
library and asks you what you are
worth. Are we a nation? And is
it progressing?-Noricich Bulletin.
Danbury has the champion patient
boy. He comes from chronicall-
borrowing family. The other day he
went to q neighbor's for cup of sour
milk. Il havn't got any but sweet
milk. said the women, pettishly. I'll
wait till it sours," said the obliging
youth, sinking into chair.
Andrssos' rBa<ar; The hearts OF
the people, says the Toledo Blade,
~are generally all right" How true
this is. It's their livers that are so
liable to get out of order.
I'VE find that be came to his death
by calling Bill Jackson liar" was
the verdict OF a coroner's jury in Mis-
souri,.
Il understand you make very good
ciders" @Yaw.r said the Dutchman;
Hans, my poy, go pring mugfuL"
Hans soon returned with q mug
brimming full. and handed it to the
Dutchman, who drained it to the bot
tom at one draught; then turning to
the astonished visitor, said, ~Dere,
now, il you dosh not dink dat is goot
cider, yoost schmell of te mug"
Things is gettin' slouchways ip
dis country, 1 declar' to grashus ef
day aints," said an old negro the
other day. @Fust cum de cattypiller,
den de chicken kollery, an now here
cum de grasshoppers; an hear talk
de udder day dat a nigger was pisened
wild a mushmillon. Looks like hard
times-you heerd my horn?-Sarsn-
nah Neics.
The following anecdote is submit
ted, to professional gentlemen who
give evidence before coroners turies:
A witness for the prosecution in a
murder case was thus questioned by
his Honor:
You say you saw the man shot at
and killed?"
@Yes, SIR"
you said, think. that the charge
struck the deceased on his body,
between the diaphragm and the duo
denum?"s en-
Witness-~No, sir didn't say no
such thing. / said he was shot be-
tween the hog-pen and the wood
house. e."-Cincinnat Gazette.
The Burlington Harkeye says;
Gov. Tilden the other day. volun-
teered to engineer a baby-carriage
for lady friend who was going down
town. Before they had gone one
block he had rcollided that dainty
vehicle with two wheelbarrows,
rasped the legs OF seven men with
the hubs Of the wheels, jammed the
handles into his companions ribs
until she couldn't draw long breath
and finally precipitated the terrified
infant, pillows, rufiies, and ali out OF
the carriage and down a cellarway.
And all the women in that part OF
Christendom stood around and
shrieked and said. And that man
thinks he is fit for PRESIDENT
Late the other night Mr. Blosburg,
who is a hide bound Democrat, had
been down town fortifying himself