The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-11-11

III
Doryphora deccmlineala but the Doryphora
iuncta-EL.
All the difference in the world, you see.
California weather is thus put through the
mill:
Either the rain comes spouting down,
Soaking you through from sole to crown,
Or clouds OF dust B." git up and git"
And fill your eyes with soil and grit
A man has recovered $4,000 in Nantucket,
Mass, for injuries received by coming in con
tact with bay window projecting over the side
waikiki.
And yet fellow may butt his brains out
against lamp post and get nothing for 1t.
Ben Butler Is making it warm for the father of
his country: Washington charged $4,000 for
bringing his wife to him in order that he might
spend the winter with her. What would have
been said If General Butler charged $4,000 for
bringing his wife to New Orleans"
Rochester Democrat "a human footprint two
feet long has been found in some Connecticut
sandstone; showing conclusively that there were
Chicago women in those days, too
The Burlington Ha,ok Eye says: Mr.. Talmage
was painfully but not seriously injured while de-
livering his sermon before an immense congre
cation last Sunday morning. He had just sue
cessfuy accomplished the double somersahlt
over the pulpit and in making the flying leap
from the reading desk to the organ loft he miss
ed the second trapezc falling across the pew and
injuring his legs so that he was unable to con
duct the evening performance
A cigar contains acetIc, formlc, butyric, vale
ric and proprlonic acids, prussic acid, creosote,
carbolc acid ammonia, sulphuretted hydrogen,
pyridine, vridlne, picoinc and rubdena, to say
nothing about cabbagine and burdochic acid.
That's why you can't gets good one for less than
ten cents,
negro witness in trial the other day was
asked what he was doing in certain saloon at
certain time. He explained that he had gone
there to change his breh The explanation was
accepted.
The statement that DR.. Mary Walker wears
ruiled undersleeves to her pants is corrected by
the editor of the Rochester Democrat who says
that 1t is only some carriers highly ornamented
with fringe and things.
The worst typographical error ever heard OF Is
that revealed in the E,rdtum-For dumsquiz-
zle read permanence"
Nitro.glycerine will develop 5000 times Its
bulk in gas It is best to take tins statement as
true and not go into an experiment.-E1
Most republican orators before the election
showed an equally surprising development in
gas, only they weren't so quick about it.
Further heavy importations of fertilizers into
Cuba continue Twenty-Onc thousand spanish
soldiers have lately arrived ut Havana, and The
bones of most of them will be manuring the
soil in the country districts within year or TWO
Oh. Times
The Cincinnati Times wants to know the loca.
ton OF paradise 1t would be useless to tell
YOU. All the roads out Of Clnnatti lead dllccly
away from it.--ROcheSter ChrOnict.
Which would seem to locate paradise in Gin
cinnati. The Chronicle man had been tasting
Cincinnati whisky and 1t sometimes has that
effect on weak minds.
The Lo,olH Courier meant well when 1t said
that "the mikado Of Japan wears trousers, eH-
cept on state occasions but its partial state
ment OF Il fact places his majesty In an ehhar-
RAISING pOsitOn-EL."
That would show that the high Boss of that
country is an Irlshman for ii does not appear that
IN Japan Mike ad.do without trousers!
Trials never come siugly. 1t was only last
week that we learned that the coal supply would
be tIuausteu IN HUI bNCl Jv'O,NND NNHl', hiiN
now news comes shat the planet Vulcan is lost.
We can hardly think any one would be mean
enough 10 steal Vulcan, but the nights have
been dark lately, and there are good many
tramps about.-Nor1oioh Builetin.
when you see a man trying to clean a paper
collar with a piece Of rubber, you can make up
your mind that he has been hit by the hard
times.
4 SEWN -nachinc not exhibited at the Cen
tennial carried of the "irst prize" just the same
as the twcnty-threc machines that were on eX.
hibitiOn-if the owner only has enterprise
enough 10 advertise The fact Burlington Hack
Eye.
what do we call money! Well, by
several or more names. Some describe Is as
"spondulix" some as "the sugar" some as "rli-
non some as spoons" some as "the ready"
others as "brads." The French call II "tdrgH','
the English "the needful,n in Mexico, castings
In the South II is "rocks," in the East tin" in
the West rags" in Canada IL goes 10y the name
"spelter." Hereabou,s 1t is "short'-HsisoH
Riyr Chronicle
"a paper called the Sseletoa has been started
In Chicago. II already has some boHsd t'ie sub
scribers and skullariy editor" the Philadelphia
B,Jlstia remarks. OF course; burialikely. Blt
although a carcassian, IL remains 10 be seen u q
will have any circulation in dis-section.-A. J,
Graphic.
Detroit Free Press:-"An English surgeon say.
that women can be easily frightened TO death
and every husband ought 10 be careful how h'
climbs into the pantry window when be returns
from the procession"
Uncle John Wilson, who called on US few
aaxs aro informs Us that Plato i growing won
de Ifuliy Some indianapolis parties are 10 star
a saW mill in Uncle Johns timber next week;
large blacksmith shop is being built, and ther'
Il some talk Of grocery store Wats,ln IuHe'
Vow who In thunder is Plato and what has
blacksmith shop to do with his groWing'