davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26
81 LOfe am Honest POy"

There's German who keeps n
corner grocery in Keokuk, and he
had a call from a little boy the
other night who had been sent to
get so bill changed. The boy re-
ceived the change and returned
home with it, when it was discov-
cred that there was a quarter which
was rather ragged, through good,
in the change, and also that the
quarter was just twenty-five cents
more change than the folks who
sent the bill were entitled to. The
boy was sent back to return it, and
Of course the ragged "fractional"
was sent with him. Entering the
store and holding out the ragged
money, the boy said:
"You changed 81 bill for me.
Here's a quarter"
Our German friend, seeing the
ragged money, and thinking be
would have to take it hack, inter-
rupted the boy by exclaiming:
"Shanged nodinks! l shanged
no pills NIT you."
eyes You did, and here's quar-
ter"
"Mein Gott. vat q liars! Meier
in my life did l see such a poys.
l dells you nefer shanged me nit
any pills."
"Why, l was in here not half an
hour ago, and you gave me quar-
ter"
"Gif you some quarters-gif you
some quarters! Donnerwetter,
young feller! Do you dink l pin
gone crazy init my praint j don't
gif you some quarters. Now make
yourself seldom, right away, pc
fore l but shoulders on your head"
and he commenced to move out
from behind the counter.
"Oh, you didn't give me no
quarter, hey; all right, all right.
squire, I'm just quarter ahead,'
and he started to go out.
"Now," said the German, putting
himself in an attitude of admira-
tion, "dot is what I like to see
peter as nottings else. / lofe an
honest poy, and shust pin trying
you, sonny. Yaw, it was me what
shange init ter pill, and I knows it
all der same put l vas drying you.
Du pecsh cheney poy, and l gifts
you a nice, big apples for your
honesty" and pocketing the quar-
ter he led the boy back to the rear
end OF the store, and selecting an
apple about the size Of a marble
he presented it to the boy, and
patting him on the head said, "Now
run along home, sonny, and dell
your folks vat nice, beautiful old
sbentlemau 1t vas who gif you dot
nice apple"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26

store last night, but were frighten
ed away; so | prefer you would
hold this money against more sue
cessful attempts of the kind"
And Mr.. Harmon proceeded tc
count large roll Of notes, which
Gilbert placed carefully in his
pocket.
"Now, Charlie" said neighbol
Hill, one of the party seated around
the stove; "you had better keep a
lookout, cause some one might
stop you tonight before you re-
turn from Cranton."
The allusion to Cranton brought
slight blush to Charley's cheek,
for it was well-known that he was
on his usual Saturday evening visit
to certain Young school-mistress,
who dwelt in the neighboring settle
mept.
"How do you know I am going
to Cranton 2" asked Charley.
"Well, I only suppose so, cause
I've heard said you do go that way
about this time o the week - and
Hill winlted TO the crowd, who
laughed; and Charley Gilbert, not
wishing to DISCUSS the subject fur
ther, left the store, and mounting
old Hero, was soon out of sight.
"Mighty fine chap, that Gilbert
is," resumed Hill to his fellow
loungers "been in the army and
won his way, an now he has got
his allotment of land out hear, an
will soon have one of the finest
farms in this country"
The short autumn day came to a
lose, and it was long after dark ere
Gilbert reached his destination,
md received his usual hearty well
come from Sarah Denton.
Saturday nights were the bright
spots in her dull life as q school
mistress. and were sure TO bring
her Charley. Old Hero had carried
his master over the road so often.
that he knew just what was required
of him, and needed no urging.
1t was late when Charley took
his leave of his sweetheart
"Now, do be careful" were her
last words, "for you know there
might be danger on the road, so
many robberies committed lately.
"Never fear, Sarah Old Hero
will take me home safely"
And, with a good-by kiss, he
mounted and rode away.
The night was dark-no light
except the stars that sparkled
crisply from a clear sky. Bnt, had
it been ever so dark, IL would have
made no difference to Charley.
His thoughts were Of the sweet girl
he had just left, and, paying no at
tention to his horse, he road slowly
along, intent upon plans for the fu-
ture.
"The money have received to-
day will enable me to complete my
home; then Sarah will be my wife,
and we shall live on the farm such
happy life," he mused.
A long, dark patch Of forest
loomed ahead, through which the
prairie road ran, and not until he
had entered its dark shadows, did
the horseman arouse from his bliss
full reverie.
"Wbat IL I should be attacked 7"
thought he, 81 have nothing to de-
fend me, and enough money To
make II . good haul for such gentry.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26
The Lords PRAYER.

Here is something curious for
you. 1t is the Lords Prayer in the
English of former times, and it
shows how the language has chang
ed:
The old English form of the
Lords Prayer, A. d. 1853.
Fader ure in heune, haleeweide
beoth thi neune, cumen thi kuner-
iche thi willie booth idon in heune
and in. The euerych dave braid
gif Gus thilk dave. And worzif ure
dettes as vi vorsifen ure dettoures.
And lene ons nought into tempta-
ton, bot delyvoros Of nvel. Amen.
A. d. 1900.
Fadir our in hevene, Halewyd by
thi name, thi kingdom come. Thi
willie be done as in hevene and in
erthe. Oure urche dayes bred give
us to-day. And forgive us oure
dettes, as we forgive our dettoures.
And lede us not into temptation,
Bote delyvere us of yvel. Amen.
A ID. 1852.
Ovr father which art in heauen,
sanctifled be thy name. Let thy
kingdom come. Thy will be done,
as in heaven, in earth also. Glue
VS. to-day our super substantial
bread. And lead VS. not into temp
tation. But deliuer US from evil.
Amen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26

A certain Oregan professor was
a very fatherly sort Of q man, par
ticularly towards his young lady
pupils. Whenever a young lady
would ask question he would
place his hand lovingly on her head
and make considerable more fuss
than was necessary. OF course the
girls got tired of this and conspir-
Ell to break him of his fatherly pro-
clivities. One of them hit upon a
plan. She fixed a nice little pin
cushion, had the pins inserted so
that they would stand on their
heads, point upward, and then ad-
justed the Internal machine on the
top of her head, covering it with
just enough hair to hide it from
view. This done, she left her seat
during the session, walked demure-
ly up 10 the professors desk, stood a
moment in his august presence, and
then, in a meek and plaintive tone
of voice, she asked him for the in-
formation whether Washington
crossed Delaware on ice or on horse
hack when he left Trenton. He
raised his hand over her head and
soothingly said, "Why, my dear
child" Well have to end this
sentence therefor the balance Of
the exclamation was a sort of haf
howl, half whoop, which we can
neither write or print. Just as he
said "child" he lowered his hand
caressingly but forcibly upon the
crown of the girls head, and the
whole surface Of his extended palm
felt the tickling and exhilarating
sensations of a couple of dozen Of
pin points.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26

A Lawrence secondhand clothes
dealer showed a customer a pair Of
pantaloons which he said had been
made by fashionable tailor for q
wealthy gentleman, who brought
them back alter wearing them once,
as they did not fit him. The GUS
toner pivoted himself around be-
fore the mirror, examining the
legs, sounding the depth of the
pockets, and closed tho bargain.
When well out of sight of the clo-
thing store, he examined for the
first time an article which, Us he
revolved before the mirror, his
hand had encountered In one Of the
pockets. EYES," the customer had
said to himself, "that's a pocket
book. ] know by the feeling Of 1t.
Mr.. must have left It here
that night the wore these pants.'
The reader can supply for himself
the further details Of the story.
A twenty-five cent, paper lined
pocket-boolx proved the means Of
selling 81 so pair of cottonS sati-
net trowsers Mt a net profit of 50 20.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26
ADVERTISING RATES.

=. business Cards. one year, one dollar for every
line.
Local Notices, ten cents per line each insertion,
ana all notices continued for three months or
longer, discount Of 25 per cent
Advertisements unHccOmpanied hy written or
verbal directions will be published three months
Advertisements. under contract. ordered out ts
fore expiration OF time, will be charged fnll ran
No paper discontinued until all arrcarnRes ure
paid, except at the option Of the publisher
Transient advertisements must be paid in nd-
vance
kr Terms CASH, payable ouarterlv
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26

A Sunday sermon in japanese
never lasts over twenty-five
minutes. II hardly pays to scrub
a boy 10 send him TO church, but
such short sermons viii leave men
plenty Of time 20 so fishing.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1876-04-26

WIH cash all ef.prcred checks on
Detroit, Ne,c York and Bos-
ton, at par, and gire
drafts at par, 10 all
their customers.
Alpena, April is. Is7s s
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

making and uiffnaking Governors, managing the
election of congressman, substituting soldiers
for copstables and Federal commissioners Tor
justices of the peace we have armed the At
torncv-General with extraordinary powers, and
given him millions of money to spend, not in
the law, but in working the machinery Of poll
ties; we have made the collector of customs sort
of viceroy, and the marshal military command
er; and to facilitate this tOpsy-tnrvy system OF
force and false pretense we piled up iegisia-
ton until the Supreme Court interfered and
swept it off the pages of the statute book.
The Louisiana politicians themselves tell MS
what the consequence has been, when they Ia
mont "the relcgation u nearly all the Southern
Estates TO the control of the dislOyal elements
"whose treason brought about the war, anu
" the election of a National Congress largely
composed of cx-leaders OF the Confederate
"army.D And "a if TO score their warning
with still sharper emphasis, yesterdays
papers brought us with the report of their
convention the first chapter of the edifying
story of Republican deliberations in Florida,
where the pop of the pistol punctuated the
debate, and delegates and their supporters
came to the meeting all "sccretly armed"
Here, we are told by the Associated Press re-
porter. in a matter-Of-fa fact way, Mr.. Butler
"of Santa Rosa, being drunk, attempted to at
"tack Mr. Conover in the committee-room."
Mr.. Conover believes that there is a conspiracy
to commit murder and the Sheriff OF Madison
County has been shot in the leg.
The scFiinmage in Florida, however, is not q
worse travesty upon politics than has been the
ordinary course OF government in Louisiana,
in Mississippi, in Alabama, and in many other
parts of the South and the reegation OF
"nearly all the Southern States to the control
"of the disloyal elements" is the natural con-
sequence of pllage and misrtlle by adyen-
turers who had 10 virtue except loyalty" to
recommend them. Despotic misgovernment
such as has cursed the reconstructed States
during the past ten years will not be tolerated
by any American community When peaceaDie
efforts for reform fail, violent remedy is rs
certain as sunrise. The need OF the hour for
the Administration Republicans is to learn this
important principle in American politics.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
Jnoex TO ADVERTISEMENTS.


A.usywrNTs- paoe-4th. 5th. and Oh columns
E,Skrso HOUSES AND BASKERs-3d Pdge-6th column
EoApp Asp HOOns-7h Pdqe-2d, and ID coluhhS
RooTs AND SHOEs-2d Pd0e-4th column.
BUSINESS CHASCBs-2d Pd0e-4tb column
NrsISEss N0TICHS--4M PdJe-lsJ column.
CoPARTSRRsIrP NoTICEs-3d Page-6th column
IJfNusIEN-7h fd0e-1St column
DIyIphSD NOTICEs- Sd Pd0e-6th column
DEEsSN NKING AND MILLISERY-7M Pdge-lst Column
DRY GOODs-2d PuQe-5th column.
FISAN,IAL-3i Pa0e-5th and 9th columns.
FINE ARTs-7h Pd1e-6th column.
FURNITURE 6h Id0e-6th column
HOR-Es, CARRIAGES, &c.-2d Fa0e-4th oolumh
HorELs-7h PaGe-3d coiump
lex CRLAM-2d Pa0e-ith column.
IssTKrcrIOs-- 6M Ptt0e- and 4th columns
LECTURES AND MEETINGs-7M PdQe-6th column.
LEGAL NOuCEs-3d Pa0r-6th coumi -
MARBLE AND SLATE MASTEIs-2d Pd0e-4th columh.
MARRIAGES AND DRArIls-5M Pa0e-6th column c..
IIAsEoUsL7M Page-1st column: Sm PdGe-oth
column. -,
MUsICAI INSTRUMENTAL Pdoe-6th column.
NEw PCpLtCA ATrONs-6M PdGe-3d column
PROPOsAis-2d Page-4th column. -, -,
real EsTATE FoR SALE--t1TY-6h Pdge-Otn co!uHn; !;
BRookI YN-6M Paqe-6th column COUNTRY -6m
Taoe-6th column AUCTION SALEs-Itt rage ist
coinmn: To ExCHANGE-7h Pdge-1st column
sAIFs BY AUCTION I'd Pa0e-5th column.
suuArIoSs WASTED MALEs-7h Pdge-4th ana oth
columns: FEaALRs-7h PGqe-5th and 9th columns
SPECIAL NOTICES 9Th PaGe-6th column - 80.
erRAMBoATs AND kAILkOADS-6h Page-4th ana ON
columns.
sry AytEs OCEAH-2d PGJe-5th column.
SUMNER RETREATs-Th Page-3d ana Attn Columns
1EACHKRs-6h Pd0e-4th column
TAG TuRF-7h Ud9e-6th column. -.
To IFT- CITY PROPEkTY-Tth PdGe-lst column; Couh-
TRY-7h PGge-1st cOlnmn.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
POLITICAL NOTES.

There Is Vice-President to be nominated,
too.
Blaine for President and HarriaOn of Indiana,
"nppecanoes" grandson for Vice President Is u West
ern ticket.
These doorkeepers seem to be bad lot
One OF them pummeled his grocer. who described as
small man, the other day because hc wanted his money
This is al wrong "A bigger man than Old Grant" ought
to ht u man Of his size.
Montgomery Blair was first in the field for
Tilden. Tho refusal OF the Maryland Convention to
make him delegate either ut large from his district
will probably BIO taken an emphatio declaration that
Maryland Is not for nlden.
Mr.. Brlstow, it appears, favored the ratifca-
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
THE DEMAND or THE HOUR.

Nothing could have been more beautiful
than the proceedings of the Louisiana Repub
lican Convention--up to certain point 1t
called for candidate whose personal charac-
ter would afford guarantee, &c, in language
which the Independent Reformers might have
mt together, and it denounced fraud with a
sturdy eloquence which the unsOphisticated
might have imagined would cause Mr.. Kei-
lopp. and Mr. Packard, and the other patriots
of that faction to squirm in their seats if they
hoppened to be within ear-shOt. 1t lamented
the assassination of many hundreds Of
"prominent Union men, and " the massacre
" of thousands of inOffcnsive colored citizens"
and It insisted upon the enforcement of such
n policy as should secure every man in the
erioyment of his rights. Thus having spoken
and resolved, it proceeded to elect as its rep
resentotiyes at Cincinnati Mr.. Kellogg, Mr..
Packard. and Mr.. Pinchback; and the MEM
hers of the Convention then laid their fore
fingers along side of their noses, tipped one
another wink, and went home.
What we want, according to these gentle
man. and especially what the South wants, is
the "enactment of additional laws" and the
reinforcement of a policy" We know what
these terms have come to mean in the jargon
of carpet-bag politics, and We need not look
far to see what the result of their system
must always be. For ten years we have tried
making stringent laws for the protection of
the Republican party in the Southern States,
and forcing a policy dictated at Washins on
upon the Southern people. We have gone OF
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
fl.125.Sf3,OOO
...f0s0.73l.OOO

IUIII.- ~ -'''' '''I'''''' "''''7'
The decrease during the ten weeks has been
fl36,112, 900, or about II per cent. Hero 1t
has been about 10 per cent greater, and that
is Just about the proportion of shrinkage In
nominal prices in this country since 1879.
Apparently, then, if the general depression Is
more severe in this country than i'll England,
the difference is mainly due to our unstable
currency, and to the greater fluctuations in
nominal prices caused by its use We share
with Great Britain that decline in the volume
Of trade which is due to causes affecting nearly
all civilized nations, but we also have other
burdens of our own to bear, sef-imposed by
neglect to perform the solemn obligations of
the nation.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
TIE NEWS THIS MORNING.

FoRRIGN-Cato won the High Level Handicap,
heating the American horse Preakness. - Wins
low will not be surrendered unless supplemental
treaty. ia negotiated 80 Mr.. Disraeli said he
hoped it would be needless to present the Berlin
memorandum to the Porte. 60 Sultan Murad
promised important reforms. - The Servian
army began moving to the frontier
DoMEsTIC.-James Mulligan, the witness against
Mr.. Blaine has testified that Mr. Blaine came TO his
room, begged for his private letters, IN
Mulligan's possession, contemplated SUICIDE,
and finally obtained the letters; Mr.. Blaine denies
the sensational features of tho story. -
Lawrence Harney, the witness against Mr. Kerr re-
turned to Washington. 80 The Vermont Demo
Gratis declare for Gov. Tilden. 60 company OF
40 men from Cincinnati are reported to nave been
rpassacred by Indians in the Black HILLS. - Al
the Social Science meeting in Philadelphia, the Pha-
delphia theory of building associations was com
mepded; Mr. Lorin Blodgett spoke on "The Evasion
of the Customs Laws"
CoxeRyss.-The Senate resumed the impeach-
ment trial. and an order requiring Mr.. Belknap to
Mead further was discussed; the Court adjourned
until Tuesday; numerous bills were passed. -=
The House passed the Army Reduction bill by 12O
to 81.
BCrrY AND sUBURDAN.-A Grecnback State Con-
yention met IN this city with so delegates, adopted
q strong imitation platform, and appointed delegates
IN St Louis - The recipients of Mr.. Stewards
fortune think lightly of the steps taken to contest
the will - An Illicit distiler in Brooklyn charges
three internal revenue officials with bribery
- Daniel Drew was examined in bankruptcy,
and stated that lie kept no accounts 80 The Al
sermen took action for brilliant celebration of the
Fourth of July. - The first competition at
Creedmoor for places on the American Rifle Team
was closed. Gold, 1928, 1l2&4, 1928. Gold
value of the legal-tender dollar at the close $3.50
cents. Stocks dull and lower, closing weak and
feverish.
TUE WEATnRR.-The Government report predicts
clouds and rain. - In tins city yesterday the
day was clear cool. and bracing; thermometer o90,
500 500
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
sBRiNKAGE IN BrSrytsS 1yD prices

OHHfNhTuF Nv DIOT " T W Il NU PHTTES.
1t is the old story-the bank statement Is
exceedingly encouraging as respects the strength
of the associated banks, but quite discouraging
as an indication of the condition of business.
Notwithstanding an increase of $685., 200 in
deposits since the statement of May 20, and a
decrease of 81, 1,O30,SO0 in specie-a loss some
what smaller than was expected-thc total re-
serve rises to 31.S9 per cent, and the legal
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

the bill as it was finally passed is reported to
have shown that there were interpretations at
the last moment which would materially mod
ify its possible usefulness.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

DAuY TRIBUNE Mail Subscribers. S1O Oper annuIn.
SEAI-WERKIy TRIBUNE. Mail Subscribers, S3 per an
WEEKLY tribune. Mail Subscribers, 81 per annulG'
THE sRNIWEYKtY TRIBUNE will he ready this morning
st O'clock in wrappers for mailing. Price cents
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

Daniel Drcw's curious testimony, which
shows that he kept no books of account for
his complicated stock transactions makes it
probable that this was one of his habits as
drover which he has kept up through life. In
partnership suit between two drovers,
brought in this city some years ago, the
evidence was that they made " wad" of the
money which each originally put into the con-
ccrn. Whichever acted as the buyer of cattle
sometimes one and sometimes the other
carried the "wad !" each put into it what he
received, and each drew from it what no
spent. After some years, they divided the
"wad" equally. That was all there was of
their system of bookkeeping.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

Reports from the State Conventions in ses
sion last night came in slowly. From Yer
mont and Missouri the Democratic delegates
are adjudged favorable to Gov. Tilden; Yer
mont's favor being incorporated in the resolu-
tions, and Missouri's being supposed to take
precedence, on the ground of expediency, of
personal sympathy for Mr.. Hendricks. Yer
mont is pronounced for genuine hard money.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
Tup Rgsr I,,wyrrs' OFrICE3.-The univers

THE BgsT LAWYERS 0FFICES.-Ihe universal
verdict il that m re are no oices for lawyers In
combining all advantages Of those IN TH IaIhSk Bn m
possiOe location between NE an
ferent Courtroops opposite the Citv Han and wlhh q
stones throw They beautf fully nElsied
an a hard wood elegantly fitted with
bronze hardware glass marble wass and the Ike
hey are unusually Their IN suites
for the Of lawyers perfect As many rooms IS
hal communicating with each othef Whe
zach has separate with the ball and each is
within dozen .teps from the elevators Taey are aI
heated free OF charge The elevators are ~.
recty accessible the entrance fronting the Cly
Hall Park. They side Dy side and are OF the new
est and construction. The building Is new ana
everything is in perfect order. IL Is absolutely
No insurance whatsver needed. and saics
for h important are scarcely requt
one look through suite OF the
offices now ocou,ed-sgch for insance a. Mr. NaEdcrpc.
satisfied that they unquesiioDaDy the OeS' l. inc
city.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

Political spectators within the past two or
three days have been full of n new possibii-
ity. Blaine, they argue, is likely to be de-
feated by his prominence, and the consequent
union of all his opponents. But in defeat
it is held that he would still have
ample power to prevent the nomination
of any of his rivals. A new man,
therefore would be necessary, and who so
good or so unexceptionable as Elibu j. Wash
burne? He was a Republican from the
first. He was always against rail
roads, against subsidies, against land
grants, against jobs of every sort and
description. He made his long Congressional
career one continual campaign against corrup-
ton and in favor of economy. He discovered
Gen. Grant. He has been ont of the country,
and so separated from all the scandals of
Grants Administration. Ho won the hearts
of the Germans by his devotion to
their countrymen during the siege of
Paris and when he goes in he has
a habit of winning. Altogether, the political
SPECTATORS make strong showing of it-for
man who at present is without delegate !;
and there is getting to be good deal of talk
ON the subject.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02

Yesterday tho House passed the long threat
eped bill for the reduction of the army. There
is scarcely Department where retrenchmen'
ia less needed.
New-York tribune., 1876-06-02
omusemsnts ano aleetinss 60 Night.

FIFTH AyENUB THGATER.-" Pi1ne
PARK THEATER-"U Uncle Toms Cabin.
sAN FRASCIsCo MISsTREIs. 1uu !. r.or,.
Mnstrols o--,-,
IrsinS ssI,ARE THEATER.-" Conscience
W,rn,cK,s THRArER-"Mighty Dollar"
.-,,,,,vprSo HAIL." Hamlet" Tho Count Joannes.
on uoKE's GARDEN Concert. Onenbach