The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1876-10-26
FACTS AND FANCIIS.

| " QUEEN olu gentleman being asked
what he wished for dinner, replied" An
appetite, good company, something to
eat, and napkin"
THERE is nothing better for fever in
the feet Of horses than bandages wet with
water, 1t is better than "stuiling" with
filth, so often recommended.
IT is said that the bite of blackbird
will breed a case of hydrophobia, and,
all things considered, no man is safe un-
less he goes down well and has trap
door shut upon him,
\ BRtGHr.EYEp little girl on being
taught by her orthodox mother that
Jesus was God and the father, said
"Why, mamma, how can God be on tho
right hand Of hesclf"
THE most bitter piece Of satire on
man generally affects him least, 1t il
written and composed after his death,
and is commonly known az "an obituary
notice
A DREAMY philosopher has discovered
that mosquitoes are animated by the
souls OF wicked men who have gone to
their last account. II this is so a good
many wicked mems souls are being
plastercd up against bedroom walls,
MONs. COLoMBlER, merchant of
Paris, recently deceased has left 10000
francs 20 lady of ROucn, for having
twenty years ago refused to marry him,
through which, says the will, II was
enabled tol live independently and happily
as a bachelor"
DR.. HOLLAND thinks it does not pay
to be an author. Very true. When 4
man attempts to write poetry who
might be better employed opening
clans, there is some mysterious power
that intcrposes TO keep him poor.
A NEVADA gambler said he would
blow his brains out ifhe lost his last five
dollars and when he lost it he WAS IA
good as his word. If he had said "a
will quit gambling he wouldn't have
had character enough to sustain his
resolution.
A NEGRO being asked what he was in
Jail for, said it was for borrowing money.
"But, " said the qucStioner, "they don't
put people in jail for borrowing money"
"Ycs," said the darky, "but had to
knock the man down Tree or fo' times
before he would lend it to me-
TOMMY who has been allowed a seat
at the table on the occasion of tea party,
and is scrutinizing the engravings on his
teaspoon, which is odd-"Why, mother,
these spoons we're on Aunt James sup
portable the other night, when cousin
Fred had his party A "lo0k from the
maternal, and a smile all around.
TmE New Orleans Bulletin says he
now thinks it is unsafe to leave blOtting
paper around the Office. His wife
found this on 4 piece
;euS tseraed
,seyols 70 Xob dneS lIiw |
,EILLIW.
"GMME something to cure Il boil, :" he
exclaimed as he dashed into drug store
cab, 20 you've got one Of the thingsnow,
have you ?" smiled the clerk eyes, sir,
and its just in the right place "Just
in the right place. repeated the clerk;
"why, where is that" con an
other fellow" came the sweet reply.
THE German mind is sometimes very
quick to reach conclusion. Illustrat
ing the opposite of this remark Mr..
Ferguson told Hans of the German who
sat 5000 years gravely contemplating
his toes, and then, rising, said with
sigh of relief, "Vell, | don't see nodings
the matter with them" "Hah 4" said
Hans quickly. GLOW | cot you there.
1t vas Il tam lie. No man cier letftd
tree tousand years, hey? You must
bin Crazy.
A HUSBAND having arrayed himscl
claboratcly with CATERS, gamebag and
gun, accompanied by his faithful dog
goes forth to hunt, but shoots nothing.
IMPOSSIBLE to return cmpty-handed to
the house, he stops at the market and
buys a hare, which he presents to his
wife. The hare was terribly high-not
alone in price. "Ah," said his wife,
with sniff 80 you killed it2 You
were right. Itwas high time. "--Pdyj'
Paper,
Ir was in the famous old parish of st.
Clements. London, that DIR. Donne
buried his wife, and preached her tu
neral sermon TO the text 80, | am tho
man that have seenafictiOn.' and there
lived the poor widowed tailor, who, con
demned to the gallOws for some petty
larceny, an offence which incurred the
same penalty as murder in those py-gone
days, passed the time in Newgate, be-
tween the day of his conviction and the
monthly hanging day at Tyburn, in
making nine suits OF mourning for his
nine little children.
"MY friends" said Il returned mis-,
sionary, at one OF the anniversary meet
ings "let us avoid sectarian bitterness.
The inhabitants of llindostan, where
have been labOring for many years, have
proverb that, Though you bathc a
dogs tail in oil and bind it in spIints,
vet YOU cannot get the crook out of it,.
Now, a mans scctarian bias Is simply
the crook in the dogs tail, which cannot
be eradicated, and hold that everyone
should he allowed to wag his own recu-
liarity in peace.
Prince BISMARCK would have made
his fortune a. an interviewer in the press.
Writing TO bis wife from a watering
place, he says: Opposite me (at the
table dhole) sits the old minister ~,
one of those figures that appear to us. in
Nightmares, big 'ros without legs, who,
at every bite, opens his mouth like
carnst-bsg, from ear to ear, so that !, IN
a faipting state, have to cling to the
table. Nv other neighbor is a Russian
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