The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-12-08

oooIS-thc TiBut vi tue lelI slue, tne lelt
upon the right. They never do SO with
boots feminine. I lie then, seeing those
misplaced boots there; and when | have
made my plunge out, done my Tubing, and
have arrived at the stage when want those
boots, open the door to get them, and they
are not there
Now / am certain that they were there f;
heard the girl bring them but all the same
After few minutes interval I rang sharply
and the maid comes and knocks.
"My boots I'm waiting for them,"
said.
"Please, sir, they're out here" says the
girl, in an ill-used tone
Whereupon go Indignantly t. the door,
with brush in one hand, into which | have
savagely driven the fellow brush, 80 that
they adhere together, and my hair all down
over my forehead.
Yes, there are the boots and put wrong
as to the rights and lefts, as matter of
course.
Now how did those boots get away, and
how did they come back? For Pm sure the
girl did not bring them back this time.
told you how particular am about fold
ing my clothes at night. This extends to
garments | do not wear every day-dress
coat, for instance, left in the drawer during
tour or shooting expedition.
Now, it won't leave those garments alone;
and whenever l take them out after absence,
they invariably look as if they had been
used for the raising OF money, and suffered
from the pawn-broker's roll, so evident too
often in the British workman's Sunday coat,
which is creased from top to bottom.
There is another way in which am terri
bly, annoyed. Being regular bus man
of course, | don't mean driver or con-
ductor, but traveller by omnibus-from mo-
tives of economy, l have noticed the nui-
sance that the fair sex-especially the fat
fair sex, which never travels without a large
bundle, which they plant on somebody's
knee when entering--is to conductor, driver
and fellow passengers, by keeping the vehi-
Gle waiting for them while money is dislodged
from pocket somewhere in the region Of
folds, or from the corner of handkerch eff,
ia which it is tightly tied in knot which
won't come undone while one lady always
produces her cash wet-out of her mouth. l
have noticed all this, say, and, in conse-
quence, provide myself with three. penny
or six pence and place it in my waistcoat
pocket ready for alighting and paying with
out requiring change. Do you think that
can find that coin when require it? If you
do you are mistaken. 1 grope for it with
my glove on hunt for it with my glove off;
dodge first in one corner, then in the other
and each time along the intern ediate chan
mel but no-there is no coin, and the con-
ductor ironically asks me if want to keep
the bus all day. OF course l don't and
feel very much provoked as l produce my
port-monnaie, drop my umbrella in the mud
dy street where we are standing, tumble out
q two shilling piece, and wait for change,
with all the passengers craning forward to
look, and the driver shouting to his mate
to
"Look alive, there p'
/ get my change-I have already recover
ed my umbrela--and I bound to the pave.
ment shore, out of the muddy river, after
narrowly escaping run down from Han
som, when to my annoyance / was minus a
glove, and-yes, there it lies, in the mid
die of the road, ground into the mud by the
Hanson wheel.
OF course have to 60 on,buy new pair.
and as pay for them, having grown cool
in the shop, mentally say, 81 wonder what
became of that four-penny- piece" and my
hand involuntarily goes to the pocket of my
vest, and-yes, there it isl can feel il
plainly enough through the cloth.
! merely say, where was that little coir
before ....
mentioned my loss, and that naturally
brings me back to gloves-a covering for thu
hands in which have been nearly ruined.
With my customary practice of neatness
double my gloves together, especially the
white and lavender kids, which, between
BILE, and then send them 10 be cleaned
Now, the home Of my light kid gloves is in
my left hand tail coat pocket, and fish
| them out just as am going into theatre, ,ol
"at home :" and thisi is always the case
put on one, get it buttoned, aud am about
to put on its fellow, when find that if it /;
white glove on my hand, hold Lavender
kid in my hand, or vice versa They nrt
sure to be odd ones, and am certain that
put them away in pairs.
Why don't ool; before | start, you will
say. Because don't think to look, and one
does not feel it necessary after regular pre-,
cautions. And again say, How is this?
If 1t be not the workings of some spritC
full of mischief, what is it?
Only week ago | had my breakfast
spoiled by a letter which came by post. I
| was as follows, and there was an inclosurc
No. u JERMYN STREET, Friday.
SIR: | am at a loss 10 understand thu
meaning of this note, and | should be glaC
| if you would explain, for | am man wht
makes it his rule neither to borrow nor lenC
money. Ifyou had any ideas of the latte
kind in sending ii, believe me that franl
request would have been better. am you
obedient servant.
j. Wellsby Purnow,
To T. Woolly, Esq.
| was amazed, and sat with the note il
my hand, unable to comprehend it, ha,
asked Purnow to come and dine with me a
the Curacao Club, and wouldn't have aske,
him for money for the world, Besides,
didn't want any-just then,
At last, by way of solving the mystery,
took up the inclosure, to read, in my owl
hand
No. IA BYE STREET, Monday.
DEAR OLD Boy: Let me have that tel
pounds, there's good fellow. You promiset
it before Christmas, and it's now May
Thine,
| Il. Woolly.
Yes, wrote that, but il was to Jack Short