The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-06-20

And How q Promising xsung MAN
was Ruined BY rurning Preacher.
- n.f. n....s..- ~.


In one OF our city churches last Sun
day was one OF those notorious Bohe-
mians of the press. The Prince OF
Wales would not have attracted tmone
attention than he did when sliding
along up the aisle no slipped into a
seat with as much slyness as IL it were
a secret political caucus 10 which he
had been refused admittance. Even
the deacon who passed the money-trap
down his way learned what his voca-
tion was although he never saw him
before, for when the hat came to him
he tore slip Of paper from his note
book and wrote thereon "For presi-
dent, James q. Blaine" and innocent
ly dropped il in among the shinplas-
ters. 'fhe sermon finally lulled him to
sleer. He stayed until the main por-
ton of the audience had filed out and
then one of the deacons seeing his
bowed head and sad look and hearing
his sighs (he afterward discovered that
they were snores,) came to him and
touched his arm. Said he my young
friend how do you fee? ?" The report.
er rubbed his eyes, stared wildly about
him. and said, 'I feel like tho ID;
what time is it?" The deacon chided
him for his uncouthness OF speech, and
while the conversation was going on
quite crowd who knew the reporter
gathered around him and began TO in
quire what had brought him into 80
strange place. There was something
about the very air OF the church aud
the hardness OF the sents which
brought back the memory OF by-gone
days, and so powerfully did the mem
ory of the past crowd in upon his
mind that before he knew it he had
commenced 10 tell them his past his
tory in explanation OF his unlooked.for
presence in the house of worship.
Said he, my hearers, strange as il
may seem, the miserable, uncombed
sinner before you was once a captain
in the ark Of safety, and stood in q
rack OF torture (pointing to the pulpit
aud pounded gospel ont OF an old BIZ
BILE, and preached to sleep an audience
in a little white church in Ransom,
county OF Hillsdale, state OF Michigan,
as. Ransom has more churches and
less religion than any other town IN
the state. 1t was there that the miser-
able sinner before you was raised. 1t
was there that he was enticed into the
ministry by a most singular event, aud
through the ministry, that he was re-
duced to his present forlorn unwashed
condition which renders him unfit for
aught else than 10 help fill up the ranks
Of prowling Bohemianism.
THE event which thus changed the
current damned il as it were) OF his
life was as follows: The shurch which
| n Ii - m
was the most penurious body OF wor'
shippers that lightning eyor failed te
strike. Every Sunday when the hal
was passed you could hear the click Of
knives as pennies were being split IL
two, and the groan of the goddess o
liberty on the pennies, as the people
gave them farewell pinch. The,
were too stipgy to hire a minister, bu
every week they had the deacon reaC
a sermon out OF the New York Inde
pendent through his nose. One da.
the deacon caught cold in his nasa
organ, aud couldn't read. had beer
away to school, and was considered
primes IN learning, as well as mode
OF piety. / was called upon to rea'
, the sermon. hesitated at first, for !
was an awful responsibility land, be
sides, / had agreed to command
! squad of melon patch foragers that al
ternoon). At length that memorabl
, land, 1 may say, cussed) occasion
! came, and with il large audience, +
hear the young hopeful read.
!, At precisely 1890 o'clock / Wake
/. . into church, with my paper under m
8 ! arm, aud chewing a box OF Brown
! troches, TO fit my vocal organs 10
" their solemn service. In the rear G
!, me walked my juvenile brother, age
y eight wears, and celebrated Ms one {
}. the most mischievous youths out {
!. the house of correction. After all Oh
= audience had become seated and CON
u menced to chew their caraway seeC
y the deacon gave out the hymn, an
!, after singing announced that L woui
y read sermon out OF the New foi
} Independent. He winked at M
II which was the signal to proceed.
- swallowed my last troche, and wake
% proudly out before the audience.
'e had read the sermon SO frequently tn
y knew the first part Of it by heart.
'e announced the text in a bold ma
- per and then glanced over towal
y that sinful brother OF mine rs much
= to say. "Now pay attention to yo'
y brothers reading" But / noticed TIA
~ A wicked smile played over his fes
~ - ures. L had no time to consider q
u cause OF it, but darted look OF !
:. proach at him, unfolded the paper al
a. commenced. "My hearers said
" " boldly, aud then glanced for the M
W time down at my paper, and-oh hS
10 rorsi Had il been a boa constructor
10 couldn't have felt so painfully 81
a prised, Why that snicker from
"a wicked young brother? :? Why do I
W deacons and the listeners stare angr
ny ae the paper? Reason enough VIII
nu Again Hooked at the paper to see
after all, il was not some wild drea
ne and then / bsheld the title. IL v
oc sThe Days Doiugs." Tho floor
o ~. not accommodating enough TO Of
~ and let mo down through nor 9
r. chain-lightning strike that miserah
" sinful brother, who, at the last mom'
III before church, had changed the
iMs. M pers and put copy Of The Days ]
lcI ings in place Of that pious sheet.
ia' New York Independent. cat lengtl
70 staggered 70 my seat. i heard
20. deacon groan as went past him. q
-. for the first time in years Squ
n Brown was awake in church. An
'us full hush brooded over the audien
er; Why did not some mother sympatt
oI with rue aud pinch her baby and ca
NY IL to squall and break the painful
tue lence, At last il became too pail
on TO be borne. Then staggered to
~, feet again, grasped n testament, OF
ed il bap-hazard, found text aud
Ano gan TO preach. No one can tell
said. But managed 10 bring !
~ few stereotyped, cant phrases, q
ESQ so frequently, and Mt length i had
nee nee pleasure sf seeing the audience
.,v of to sleep.
"I concluded my sermon. The
or con pressed my hand gratefully
ood passed out, and / felt too happy
~ my success TO kick my brother u
Wv we arrived home. The result was
they called me TO preach. and II
year labored and starved with
people on the gross annual saler.
two dollars and fifty cents. And
I am, the victim OF poverty and Z
'ggs cial misfortune, and ell through %
ing x~,sbeI into tha ministry