The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-03-15

an Omaha Restaurant. Mhen he had
to confront the cashier he lost bis
presence of mind. Iastead OF saying
LIN ap Indiana editor aud grace.
fully waitlng ior cigar, he ieebly
calculated, TDopt kick Result as
stated - The Bee. "ahe casbier did
sick, sending him from the door into
The gutter On the frst reppd.
"Who's Herbert Spencer, Pop p
asked an ipquiring Brooklyn boy OF
his father tie other 4norning. "Itc"
. famous Englisb philosopher, nay
SON. "And what is philosopher ~
continued the lad with the business
cir qf 2 person who could keep right
oq askirg Questions until doomsday.
A philosopher returned the father
gr@geiy, "is man who never mar
ries."
A Tale Of WoeI claspod her tiny
hand AZ mine ] clasped her beaute-
Gus form ! vowed 10 shield her from
the wind and from the worlds cold
storm. She sci her boauleous eyes on
me; tbe tears did wildly 9ow; aud
with her lillle lips she said %Con.
iousd you let ne 90 !"
Mr. Coihx tells 8 good story of
President Lncoln: that when be was
attacked With small -pox, be said 70
has attendants, Send UP all the Office
seekers, and tell them I've got some.
thing can give each Of them ?
Ihe Princess Beatrice has Just re-
flsed the heart and foEtgpe ofs ysupg
American noblemap. He wrote il al
opt op . piece ef paper and sent il to
her, ~ these words: II lny' yn, as
Goad Is mi wiinns.P
A bilious Englishpan relates this
story. u am sure beg your pardon
said young American lady TO her
right hand neighhor at o dinner tahle,
after sueezing yiolelHy-''I hope /
didn't splash youH
Tbs Best9a Giabs dogbls if the boy
who disobeys bis mother and goes
skating and gets drowned will 20 10
Heaven II the FIRST place, there isnt
one chance IN a hundrsd that he'll get
drowned.
a lady, being asked what gas her
husbands occupation, said be was en-
gagged in ''Rnishing.N II was subse-
4uently aseertained that it was term
in the peniteniiary to which she had
feieFfeh.
II is perhaps . lehatahle question
whether 2 perspn who has heea notori-
onslY N the habit Of lying has right
to tell the trplh. II is, Of course, the
only ,dsyiee by Whieh he can deceive
people
a membar Of the Gaargia Legisla.
tAFe asked the meaning af the word
geology fheY told him il was a
species of vaccination. oWell,H said
he, i den't take much Interest in fg.
gers
Aeross the Walnuts aud the wine
Engaging Child -r0h, Mr.. Jenkins,
do let me see You drink What for
my dearW Engaging Ghild--"0h,
mamma SAYS yea drink like ash"
A Washington physician argues
that love proceeds FROM the stomaeh,
aud that The heart has nothing 10 do
with H. He says that eorn beef
and mea'S potatoes beget lave.
A citizen Of Dallas, Texas, killed a
man the other day with q shot from
hts revolver at sixty-two yards dis.
tanee. fkals very nice shooting aud
probably cant be eqpaled.
Won Balow is delighted with the
size aud Character Of the American
womens ear, aud la has encouraged
an Orange n. }. girl to take several
Of the tueks cut Of hers
The two Maryland negroes who
started az. IN canoe . iaw days ago
70 become pirates have been heard
ffon. They were found in eleven
feet Of water,
A man IN Illinois broke into the
house Of q widow. She pitched him
cut OF doors. A striking evidence Of
tho power Of the widows might.
After all says an old doctor,
there are only two kinds Of disease,
the one ofwAfeh yog die, snd tho 9th
er ofWhich yon don't. ~
ghe Dey of Algiers says rcd headed
Women are the most beautiful Aud
this shows that he is not q Dey Of
Jpdgment-
A child being asked what the three
great feasts Of the Jews were, prompt
ly replied: "Breakfasb dinner, and
supper