The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-05-11
How q Lady Gets ON Street.Car.

Did you ever observe the manner in |
which a lady gets on and off the street.
car? What elaboration OF movement,
what daintiness as to where she steps, |
and with what importance withal she at
last settles herself in her seat, as much
as to say, " If pay five cents for ride
mean to get the worth of it,"
The car is going at full speed down
the street. A lady on the corner wants
to get in and halls the driver. She re-
mains on the sidewalk until the car
comes to full stop. Then she looks
up and down the street, and waits mo-
ment as though deciding which foot to
put out first; then she reaches round
behind her and gathers in handful OF
surplus overskirt, skirts, hustle, ETC.,
and runs her other hand through her
muff and takes hold of the front of her
dress, and lifts it little, and then looks
behind her to see that all is right, and
with farewell look up and down the
street she starts for the car. She steps
very slowly and impressively, measur-
ing every step, and when she
reaches the car pauses moment,
as though sleep-walking, and looks
absently at the conductor as though
about to tell him some important secret.
He, poor man, has stood with his hands
on the bell strap so great a portion OF
his days waiting for just such woman
as she, that somehow he don't look
natural in any other position. Well,
she at last puts her foot on the first step
of the car, and then as a matter OF
course puts her other foot on the other
step, and then she is fairly aboard.
Then she goes in the door and every
body gives a breath of relief, for they
have all been watching her three min
ute and half journey from the side
walk with sort of fascination born Of
the fear that she might change her
mind, she acts so irresolute and hesitat-
ing, as it were. Then the bell rings and
the car starts, unexpectedly to her,
of course, and she performs
the remainder of the journey
! in short order by sitting with conclusive
!, violence up against fat old party, and
|, as suddenly rebounding as though she
. had hit big rubber ball with herself
! and got bounced thereby. Then the
: conductor comes for her fare and sh,
, gives him a ten dollar bill, and he give
her the change and she counts it with ,
suspicious air and puts it in her pocket
book. So by-and-by she signs the con
: ductor that she wants to get of, and sh'
:, rings the bell and the driver stops tw'
feet short of the cross-walk, and whel
she gets to the door she says she ssdon'
want to get off the car in two feet O
mud and half a mile from the walk,
n and the conductor, with thoughts no
P loud but deep, starts up the ca
+ the other two feet, and, wit
J. the perversity only known to street
n car drivers, it goes beyond two fee
a or more, and the lady is landed two fee
s from her destination at last. But sh
d makes him pay for it getting off. Sh
:, stands on the step and wonders how SD
r is ever going to reach that walk with
out getting all mud, the conductor SET
}, ing, meantime, the other car on tn
e switch waiting for him, and KNOWN
y that the horses will have to run half
e mile to make up lost time. So the lad
% goes through with the overskirt hustle
n gathering process and looks up an
IS down the street and down and up Il
1t street, and then slowly and daintily ster
y of, waited on her journey by somethin
n that he said to himself privately tn.
IS was overheard, but will never be told o
ir Detroit Free Press.