Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-09-30
Letter from IInrper's Ferry.

INDIGNANT school master entered through
YOUR columns, an angry protest against
the persecution he suffered from parties
who stopped him, at all hours and IN all
nlaces. 10 get information about the
VAR wsced on the Danube. He might
now travel all day and all night too,
from Harper's Ferry bridge, to Bolivar
and back again, without challenge, as
far as European affairs are concerned,
hut his chances of being bored to death
by politicians would be ninety nine in a
hundred.
Look in any direction along our
streets, and you are sure to see some
body's fist unpleasautly close to some.
body else's nose, whilst the owner of
the fist is emphasizing some argument
for his fayorite candidate, aud clinching
some polemica nail to the detriment of
the opposition. Neither party has cree
ted pole at this place, but each has a
formidable CLUB, and it is to be feared
that at any moment, there may be more
use for clubs than poles. Some weeks
ago the Democrats hung out their BAN
ner on a rope stretched betw zen two
opposite chimneys, but since the late
Edinoctial, it has disappeared. Some
saw that the SOFT, or Hendricks side,
conld not stand the d;ssolving rain Of
last Sunday, but others say that it was
taken down to have its Grammar cor
rected The inscription read
"TILDEN AND HENDRICKS
REFORM"
and as the Republicans thought proper
10 consider the word reform" verb
in the Imperative Mood, second person
plural, and very necessary admonltion
to the gentlemen addressed, they twit-
ted their adversaries numerically, and
many suppose that THIS is the real Sc
cret of the disappearance of the flag.
The Republicans propose hanging out
THEIR banner some time this week, and
in order to avoid such mistakes as it is
claimed the Democrats committed, the
inscription will be first revised by the
Board of Education, who are, ex oficlo,
the guardians of the peoples grammar
The National and State contests are
tame, however, when compared with
the scramble for County offices. If a
blind man started to hunt for Candi-
dates he could not fail to catch one, In
two minutes, by merely groping. At
every street corner, i'll every store, and,
of course, in every bar-room, are they
to be encountered by the score-those
men Of &c, eager for the Martyrs
Grown and the peoples DOLLAR, but
rather preferrlng the DOLLAR. They
have raised hand shaking to the dignity
of an exact science, and it is curious to
observe their keen perception OF charac
ter and the nice discrimination they Use
in the various angles to which they
raise the arms Of the public. With MI
who am All Irishman, the bluff and rol
licking, or, as it is technically called
"the Pump Handle" style is considered
etiquette, and my right arm has been,
for the last month, travelling at the rate
of ten miles an hour, in 4 kind OF Para
bola, from a point many Inches above
INV head to another situated somewhere
in the region of my coat-tail, my Shout
der aches now as if with the concentra-
ted essence of Rheumatism, and, for
campaign purposes my shilclah side IS
lost to the cause of free and repeated
suffrage.
AS YOU know, it has rained almost
necessarily for the last ten days, aud as
the water has always been considered
neutral ground i'll conversation, The
present wet term has been welcome to
many who, like myself, are weary of the
never.ending reterations OF politics,
One day last week the writer dropped
in to see his friend Lauders, the very
polite and efficient Agent of the b. ~
.. X. Road Company. Seated i'll the
Ticket office was a traveller whose APP
pcarance at once arrested the writer $
attention. The froSts of at least seven
" winters silvered his venerable head
and patriarchal beard fell in snowy
waves to his breast. Everything about
the man betokened long acquaintance
with the world and philosophical ap,
probation OF its strangely chequered
and mysterious experiences. Alter q
while the sage arose from his seat and
went to the door. The rain was falling
with dull, monotou Gus and dispiritlng
sound. The patriarch's face assumed
solemn expression, and from his lips
were heard the following oracular NUT
terincs Grain makes corn, and corn
makes Democrats; Rain makes corn,and
corn makes Democrats. This being
repeated several times in the sages pc,
culiarly impressive manner, and the VIII
ter being VIGOROUSLY curious on the
subject of natural phenomena, he was
tempted to question the man OF many
experiences about those mysterious ut
terances and the startling theory OF evo-
luton he propounded The answer he
received at once confirmed the high
opinion your correspondent had formed
OF the old mans wisdom. "My son,
said the philosopher, "Rain makes corn,
corn makes whiskey and whiskey makes
Democrats" He had merely missed
the connecting link. Prof Huxley was
at once notified.
My right hand being disabled in the
cause of my country, as above stated, /
am obliged to write with my left, and
YOU will therefore please to excuse. my
awkward attempts at fun. A country
man of mine writing to friend during
the great Irish Rebellion, when every
ha