The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1876-10-26

| folloWlng:
A countryman was one day driving
pig before him to market when ht
fell in with two monks, the Superior
of a Franciscan convent and the por
ter. LET us have some fun with this
fellow" said the porter to the Superior
81 will call his pig an ass; and wher
he gets angry will say: well, lei
lis refer the matter to the Father
Superior, and if he says that / an
right l will keep the beast for myself.
Then you will join in the conversation
and say it is an ass, and we will keel
it of course"
agreed" said the Superior; and
when the comtryman came up the
whole farce was gone through, and the
pig changed masters, greatly to its
owners disgust.
Meditating revenge. he dressed him
self at nightfall like a poor country
girl, and presented himself at the gate
Of the monastery just as storm was
coming on, and ringing the bell, de-
manded shelter for the night.
Impossible" groaned the porter,
looking through the wicket: "we can
not have woman in here"
"But the Storm" clamored the pre-
tended girl, "and the dark; you can
not leave me out here to perish from
the inclemenCy of the weather..
but we can, and we WILL" said
| the porter, who was a very st. An
| thony in his pious resolution. "What
you ask is impossible"
At this juncture the Superior, who
was tender-hearted man. put his
head out of his window, and desired
to know what all the talking was
about; and when he heard the case
stated he decided that the girl should
be admitted. "And as" said the
good man, Il cannot send her into
any of your cells, my brothers, she is
welcome to pass the night in mine, sit
ting i'll this armchair, wrapped up as
she is, in that thick cloak" This was
the very thing the cOuntryman wished !:
so he agreed with alacrity; and the
Superior took him into his cell, and
showed him the chair in which he was
to sit. And there to be sure he sat the
long night through, as quiet as a
Nrhilp tha Surnpinr c1nnt thn
sleep of the Just, undiSturbed by
dreams of the pig SO fraudulently OBJ
tanned; when all of a sudden as morn
ing began to dawn, out came Il thick
stick and up got the countryman from
g chair, and Whack, Whack! went
the stick on the Superiors back to
the tune of $50 l don't know a pig
from an ass. don't I?''
The monks were sound sleepers, and
by the time the fraternity were reused
the Superior had got a very sound
drubbing indeed; and the cOuntryman
was off and away without anyone hay
Ing 50 much as seen him.
Next day he dressed himself up as a
doctor and came round to the monas-
terry, asking if there was anyone all
ing, to the great joy of the monks, who
compassionated the Father SUPERIOR S
hard case, but did not like to send for
the doctor of the neighborhoOd, lest it
should occasion scandal. This
itinerating physician was accordingly
received with open arms, and con-
Quoted to the Superior cell, where
shaking his head gravely, he declared
that a certain herb was necessary to
his cure. The herb was a rare one.
and the whole community to man
turned out to seek it and dispersed
themselves over the Campagna in
quest of it, leaving the pretended doc
tor and the Father Superior alone,
when, sad to tell, out came the stick
again and whack! whack. it went to
the same tune as before, till the poor
Superior, beaten within an inch Of his
life, yelled so horribly that his piteous
cries reached his brethren far out on
the Campagna. In hot haste they re-
turned, but too late to catch the doc
tor; he was gone. The chastisement,
however, which he had bestowed had
not been without its effects. We
have sinned, my brethren" grOaned
the Superior, as they clustered round
his bed, and he forthwith decreed that
the mans pig should be restored to
him and an ass added to it.
This is fair sample of many Of
these stories, which deal with subjects
ecclesiastical, and have priests or
monks for their heroes. Another and
equally numerous class deals in jokes
about domestic disputes. One of
these, "The Bad-tempered Queen"
smacks Of Shakespeare's play, "The
Tanning of the Shrew.' There was
once Queen, perhaps there have been
any, whose temper made her vicin-
ity anything but heaven upon earth.
She was young and beautiful and rich,
but for obvious reasons was very I'M
willing to marry. She did not wish a
master-not she; but her subjects
made such fuss about the matter that
she was forced to give way to them at
last, when she chose for her husband,
not King, but certain Duke, who
never opened his lips, and whom she
therefore concluded to be an easy-gOing,
manageable sort of man. The mar
riage fairly over, Her Majesty set
about making her arrangements just
as before, and issued invitations for a
great ball, without even so much as
consulting His Majesty, whom she
quite intended to be, as the ancient
Franks would have put it, lie rOi
fai1eant.
To all this the husband, as usual,
said not word; but a few hours be-
fore the banquet he called out to her
"Put on your travelling dress as quick
ly as possible: the carrie ge will be
round Immediately"
Whereupon Her Majesty, with much
scorn, declared she would do no such
thing; she had to choose her evening
dress Tor the banquet.
eff you are not ready in five min
utes, when the carriage comes round,
it will be the worse for you," said
Monsieur the husband.
"How can | go to the country"