The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1876-04-07


Christ's, tsHe that is not with Me is
against Me- is distorted into the mean
ingless absurdity," "He that isnot with
Me scratcbeth a boar The ;nforma- /
tion that this bible belongs IN Brooklyn
is purely gratuitous.
1t is said that the old Romans also
loved office, but they never had the
feeling which al American constable
has-never felt that their shoulders
carried over half the burden of govern
ment.
4 Nevada sheep man, who had tried
and succeeded with sheep, said "Sheep
are better than a government bond
YIN can tear off coupon every six
months half as big as the bond and the
bold is left as big as it was.
When you go to theatair, where a
fussy ushair, with centrally parted hair,
and flowers in coat COLLAR, seats you in
a chair, which belongs to anothair, who
comes late in great angair, and with eyes
of lurid CLAIR, calls you an ilitrudair,
rush to the managair, and after gusl-
ing swair, he'll scalp that young ushair,
with the centrally parted hair, and the
rosy coat COLLAR.
The Chinese residents of Chicago cele-
brated Washington'S birthday not only
by retraining from all washing, but in
tile composition of patriotic poetry, OF
which this is given as sample:
Was man name allie same George
Do heap big washee allie day long;
Bime-by he glow so velly much lahge,
Mclean man Gale him Wasl-a-ton.
a Sunday.shoel speaker the other
evening used the word abridgement,
but Immediately pulled up and remark
ed that as some of the younger scholars
might not know its meaning, he would
say that it was synonym of epitome.
Tie members of the infant class were
affected to tears.
A North Carolina negro thought he
| could out-run a locomotive the other
| day on the Air Line road, and when he
picked himself up: after being thrown
twenty feet and landing on his head, he
said 'sYer don't ketch dis yer chile
doin' dat agin. It's right smart won-
| der didn't tear desc britches clean off .
Frank Beard, the artist, while at din
ner recently, was told of a man in Mas
sau street with three hands. ''IIow is
that 90 asked Beard. sfIIe's got little
behind hand,'' was the reply. "You
are more extraordinary man." was the
reply, ''for you have two heads; you
have head of your own, you've got a
head of me-"
President Bascom, of the University
of Wisconsin, says that the law passed
by the Legislature recently will yield
an income of S42 900 to the University
and, with the other revenues, will raise
the total income Of the institution to
| $4,000 year.
A Paris letter says: "The last va
gary for evening costumes for ladies is 8
return to classic styles. The dresses arr
worn attached to clasp at the shoul
der, leaving the arms bare and the bosom
recklessly exposed.
The King of Holland is not miser
The other day, when a laborer stoppet
the royal carriage from going into th
river, the King handed him forty cent
and smiled a smile worth thlrty-tiv,
cents more.
Amos Pearson, of Portsmouth, n. II.
has q rose bush which for several year
/ has refused TO flower. But on Wash
ington's Birthday it put out isoTgeou
j Centennial blossom.
A family in rural townnear by IIave
! dog . years old. lie was originally
hound, but he's stayed with them SO Ion
Il that they now call him 4 tarrier.
; There is much complaint now in Ma
# sachusetts that man there may NJ
f marry either his mother-in-law or steI
s mother, daughter-in-law or step-daugl
e ter, though none of these are blood r
2 Iations. A 1915
> Under the head of ''promiscuous
=. an exchange states that there are tv
Ie widows, aged respectively fourteen al
le sixteen, in Cohoes.
4 DE1Tn PENALrY ABOLISHED.
Is The Maine Legislature has passed !
q s,1bstitutino Imprisonment at hard Lab