The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-06-09

AaiE Wi OONElfI
Another conscientious man is opposed
10 opening the Centennial Exhibition on
Sunday. lie says Sunday is the only
day he gets time to go fshing.-[ Norris
town Herald
A pair of pantaloons containing Sal
were blown away by the Fremont Ha.)
hurricane. We suspect the wearer clnng
to sapling, but his suspender buttons
couldn't have been sewed on very strong.
ly L Norristown Herald.
Art received rather an awkward critic
ism from free-and-easy yonng man
who recently met a sculptor in a social
circle, and addressed him thus: "Er-
er---so Won are the man--er-that makes
-er-mud heads?" And this was the
artists reply: "Er-er-not all Of 'em;
! didn't make yours"
The Cincinnati Commercial, although
not authorized to speak for him, says
that Carl Schurz would certainly not
support Blaine, Morton or Coukling,
and would certainly support Tilden
against either Of them.
Pope Plus will have occupied the
pontiical throne thirty years If he lives
until the 10th Of next month. On the,
l3'h inst, he was 81 years old, the fifty
fifth anniversary OF his priesthood oc.
~ rripey ,,.a r,n.tI
At this season the question which in.
terests boy is not so much whether his
life will be crowned with glory and
honor as whether his new Summers vest
il going to be made out Of his father.
old Trousers
Any excuse better than none \ topper
says he would he tempe rance man in q
minute if it wasn't for his wife. lie
knows she'd be lone-ome if she hadn I
something to jaw about and find fault
with.
Norwich Bulletin: It is said now
that it is not the thing to make long
call on lady, and to obviate any dan.
ger of their staying too late, most of
our conscientious young men arrange
with the milSnan to rap on the parlor
window mornings when he comes around
The young lady who vowed she'd
never marry man unier five {, ct ten in
stature, has not as yet been led 10 the
altar Of Hy-men.---[ New York Com
mercial Advertiser
The superiority Of man to nature j.
continually illustrated in literature and
in life. Nature needs an immense
quantity Of quilts TO make goose with;
bat man can make goose Of himself in
five minutes with one qnill.
When a California woman defeated a
lion in a hand -to-hand combat, the
neighbOrs were greatly astonished, but
her husband quietly remarked: "Oh.
that's nothing; that woman could lick
the devil"
In the chronological journal Of this
month il n question from some one who
says he has red nose, and describes
himself as one who never uses coffee. TO
bacco, or alcoholic liquors. The editor
Of the PhrenologiceI Journal SAYS that
the real cause Of red noses is cold feet
That is the reason why men say, give
me a glass Of cold feet"-[ New York
Herald.
Boys and girls under ten years Of age
are not hereafter to be permitted to
work in the factories Of Massachusetts,
The law passed by the Legislature on
the subject has gone into effect agaisst
the opposition of interested parties at
Fall River and elsewhere. II has al
ready taken many little children away
from factory work.
In regard TO the fight Of bees, Muir
ray saws: 1.-TWO miles may be consider
ed as the radius or the circle Of their
ordinary range, though circumstances
will occasionally drive them at least a
mile more. Judging from the sweep
that the bees take by the side Of rail
road train in motion, he should set down
their pace at about thirty miles an hour"
The Kentucky meat shower, like ma
ny other strange affairs, is still being in
vertignted. One learned professor, con-
vinced by the microscopic examinations
of two Of his brethren, withdraws his
original theory "a to reptilean spawn
lie now favors the buzzard theory
which il 30 extremely unpleasant that
we are unwilling to give it as "the true
iBwardness of the hole matter"
\ discovery made last week shows
how cautions every one should be in i'm
putting crime on mere grounds Of sus-
picion. Two years ago II. w. Edmond@,
the paying teller of the Second National
Bank of Boston, was discharged because
he could not account for the disappear
ance Of $4,000. On Thursday last the
money was found IN crevicc of the sa fe
into which it had slipped, at the time Of
it, disappearance.
That our girls have fine ear for mus
cannot be gainsay Milwaukee pa
per. Right you are, neighbor. When
Milwaukee girl is requested to play
the piano like forte. she does not, like
her Chicago sister, ask him, with a smile
that meets at the back of her neck, 10
Just flop over that ere music" but
sits right down and turns the leaves with
her OF ear.--[ Danbury News.