The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1876-08-11
The Dish of the Season. S"Eat
Faculty EliRicuIdy."

Faculty DiAicuIGy.''
In the midst of the babble of
earth, there are amusing episodes
which help to extract tho sting of
sorrow that causes so much anguish
of soul or poignant feelings. l re-
member a little incident which
will illustrate what is termed "the
faculty difficulty" In England, the
laYeret or young hare was consid-
cred most delicious dish, the first
of the season, and q deputation of
ministers going from place to place,
holding their annual missionary
meetings, were treated with this
rare and delicate dish; but being
feasted on the laveret some scores
of times by their daily new hostes-
ses, on one occasion, the leveret
smoking before them, one was re-
quested to say grace, whereupon
the following was pronounced:
''Of rabbits young and rabbits old.
VI rabbits not and rabbits cold,
Thank the Lord! of rabbits we've
had enough
So of "the faculty difficulty"
We've bad enough. CHOW serious
ly," has the chit between the eyes"
made the "old woman" see stars /?
Hear her soliloquy, GO. mighty Ju-
piter, and so recently madeI o,
poison pigmy, and so lately a pa
tricianl 1t is excellent, but SO few
know about it; and this is the man
who, after he had given to the
school his own wife to save the 9TH
er teachers a hundred dollars, and
probably would have given all his
wife's relations in the same way, if
permitted, is pursued by champion
and crew, by church and school,
and whole city full besides"
"The next most terrible instance
of wickedness is lady. so widely
known and beloved, that your
choice anathemas puzzle common
people a little. We can see some
things, however, very aggravating.
1st, She is the wife of the first pas
tor settled here. Next, her active,
social and religious work has made
her relations 10 the people extern
siVe, Intimate and dear, SO that your
arrows hurt more hearts than in al
most any other mark" Now seri-
ously, MIR. Editor, what would
you call the soliloquizing of this
old one. Docs it bear to you the
impress of sectaIian bigotry ? And
is not this dancing to the tune of
S. N. Wood Hear it. "Finslly, this
lady, although a large contributor
to Pomeroy's salary" Let me ask.
Did this lady ever own the Normal
School fund of the State of Kan
sas, or did she ever possess one
cent of the money that made up the
salary of the Presidsnt of the Nor
NAL School or his wife? If not,
then such allegations or statements
are absolutely false. And because
there are some men that dare charge
home such bad doings, we hear
such christians as these, 80, gentle
Jupiter, SO recently madeI o, poi
son pigmy, and so lately a patri-
cian!" Now this minister or admin
istrator, look at it; 81 demand for
truth and for the interest, your as
pensions affect an unequivocal and
complete retraction of all imputa
tiOns made against - or else
an affirmation of the statements /
have reviewed, with credentials. ("
Here, let me say, that the allega
tons made are true, taking this one
as witness. Here is one of the Gre
Finally, this lady, al
though large contributor TO Mr..
Pomeroy,s salary"-O, consistency.
thou art a jewel! Dear Satrap, be
not too rigorous; let some hon
est men live, for we need them in |
our day. Now, there are many 9TH |
er things, such as "black aud blue.
scurriil 1us, incarnation, hyena,
hawk and hottentot, golgotha, cru
cifixiOns" sc. So must leave it all
TO the untiring reader: and ask
you to repeat the 'grace." And 20.
gentle JUPITER" let this be the end
Of the Faculty difficulty" for of
this choice dish we have had
enough. Yours most Respectfully,