, 1876-01-09


for die any minute.
4 correspondent asks: "Should hen foef
proud when riding in coop, eh?"
Why is it no crime to pick chrome agents
pocket7 Because he has pictures.
A puinfu' trance e-actton-sottng out Of bad in
ones sleep, and walking out OF third story
window.
4 dancing-m.ate. committed snicido the other
day. He schottisch own head off.-Ns,o rora
Commercial Adrertiser-
An original naighoor Of Rip Van Ninklo Was
saldto be 80 lazy that whoa he went to hoe corr
ho worked so slowly that the ahado Of his broad-
bruntned hat killed tho piaats.
At recent dinuer in the mountains given to
Don Carlos. the principal toast, "Ysva King
Charles VIII" MAJ drank standing. Tha King
himself vas drunk sitting. .-Grapnic-
81 thought you said your head ached five
minutes ago." aaid mother when George asked
for more candy. $50 it did," saul George,
"and suppose it does now, only can't feel
it,"
A waegish spcculator ono Of numerous fam.
ily in tho world, recently said: " Fire years ago
I was not worth penny In the world; now see
whore am through nv own e1eFtions." Well.
where are you?" "WhS u thousand dollars in
debit"
Some day in tho distant future the little uicger
In the barber-shop who eiloEtlg holds out his
hana Tor ten cents fos striking man nose WITH
us ofusn-o1oonl, "a'i oe laiu away 70 reSs as1o
catnip planted to h:do tha spot.-DetroA Free
l'1ess.
"What size do you wear, sir 7" blandly tn-
guire1 tho ha.ser. II thluk," said tha custom
er, "aboat--." Just then, in backing toward
tho Mirror. he stepped on a piece Of orenge-pee!,
ana sas down suadenl5-"aooa1 eap-slza' l
'uhS.
ina Other dag W9uld-be tashlonabae lazy
called at ne!ehoors at "ha: she fhoueht wonId
be supper emo. "Come ln' eald tne neienoo! !;
We are having tablean N so e'ad' SAD
the 'laitor; thought eulals EN-, Auo LIE
them better than anyt.lng for supper"
4 Danburv man. Wishing tn eneaca severn,
bushels nj notnroes from n nart- IN liz su5urLp
"Wel," SAID tho coneceat,ous neishboz, Il
don't Know very much about hitla but Should
'n1hR ne "ou'o MAKE . ttp-toq s'f1nSes'
~ ~ r,,.;1 S;,n1,, - hra,atn ~
Boln' TO gimme anything, slmue oteastp.n- or
dirk. or something inan can wear. ANA yeI
you wouldn't have thought thla seeker after
l1Eht tiLnee arc not conhnad TO this eno!unarss
sphere. ihe otnef n!sas thete was tfemen-
dous ring absut the usoon. It mas fair.
square proE1sao OF severe storm. onl everybody
prepared for it: out after several davs Of yat-
iIl,t;,v rocv tho vnotta, xyoa +innt1v r,m,ro.
.naod at sso,;t m ce.,.a ~, tia doi,nr- 5nuiuru
Ngans.
ia had r,.do he.,.v r,eo, at -, r.et,nr,
and rising up, be said to tue cashier: 81 de.
clare II Ihaycn't fo,cot NV wallet,n The cash.
~ E.aJ ~ anl t,r,aS i,;n ,r,roa ~ him for fnl1
-. ~ 81 ~, aAS uuA ~ 20 fha.. tu,,a.
tnAee u1suu.cs osfeiI laaoto1 ~ o1s~."- ~
chance came the Stranger cantsnueo-' bot
have sou in my vest pockst. Iae cashier
couldn't smile to cave hIm.
,, H., m.n. ~
"benJenn4 6nouteo ATS. 1ooales ~ uet
husbaod- vito was gong ous of the gate, babe
NC up 5 ceu.H warll Of Buu1 when you come
..Enuff7 Mrs TooiIea snuff" he calculated
ma he napsad with h,- hand On the latch : =. No
~ kr,a tIondtau the -;,nas ava inn hard to nf}mt