The Osceola times., 1876-02-12
NUMBER so.
FACTS AND PASCIEs.

TRANSPORTED for life. The man who
marries happily.
MANY man has ruined his eyesight
sitting around in a bar-room looking for
work.
FIFTEEN million pinsare manufactured
annually in the United States. And yet
men will get married.
"CoURrsIiIP is bliss" said an ardent
young man. I" Yes, and matrimony Is
blister" snarled an old bachelor.
TN married now" was the excs,se .
Chicago youth gave florist for not buy
ing as many boquets ss IN former years,
WHEN man dies nowadays worth
body ases SaH e ga ilqo&r,saHssiiaa sssssxs
he lcaveT
SWEETS TO THE SWEET
'Tis sweet 10 sit at eventide
Some willin' female form beside,
And love-lke purr and snicker;
To feel, whatever devilish arts
Are sund'ripg other kindred hearts,
You two are growing thicker.
No CHINESE bank has failed for five
hundred years. When the last failure
took place the officers heads were cut OF
and flung in corner with the other as
sets.
A GENTLEMAN, during conversation,
the other evening, politely informed a
Young lady that he was in arhchoke's
Office. He intended TO say architects
Office
YOU'VE gentlemen who appear on the
streets with books under their arms are
not necessarily students. A patent has
lust been issued for a whisky flask in
book form, with natural leaves and backs.
MDLLE. O., of the Palais Royal thea
TIRE, said 10 Hyacinth "Graciousl but
| have a cold. What do you do when
you have cold ?" 81" said Hyacinth,
Il cough"
THREE hundred dollars is what Del
aware man had to pay tor calling.
young lady red-haired. The jury de-
cided that she lacked hairs breadth OF
having red hair.
The softer sex have reason 10 be en-
couraged. The last census showed the
number of idiots proper in the United
States TO be 24,527, of whom II, AIS were
males and 1902 females.
MAMMA" said precocious little
boy who, against his will, was made to
rock the cradle of his baby brother, "if
the Lord has any more babies to give
away, don't you take EN-"
THE Brooklyn Argus says: The crud-
ity of religious information at the west
is well illustrated by tradition which
extensively prevails that Baptist Is
man who puts water in his whisky.
The man who sought TO demonstrate
the continuity Of natural phenomena BY
cndeavoring to show that monkeys al
ways curled their tails in the presence Of
a rainbow has had his brain sand-pa-
pcred.
THERE are now eight pin factories in
the United States. which make 47,00O,-
900 pins daily. But the average school
boy wonders why they are not bent in
the right shape to place on chair with
the point up.
A WISCONSIN editor illustrates the
prevailing extravaganza Of people nova
days by calling attention to the costly
baby carriages in use, while when he
was baby they hauled him around by
the hair of his head.
CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER, who
feared that the pie-eating proclivities of
our countrymen would yet prove. the
ruin of America, will he gratified to
learn that the Pi Etas were burned out
in the destruction Of Hollis Hall at
Cambridge.
PEcuLARIrIEs of Nancy Valentine, of
Cumberland, Maryland, aged 100 years;
|. Has never used spectacles. 2. Can
thread needle with case and precision.
3. Does her own cooking. 4. knits
stockings for sale; and (5), spins the
wool herself