The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-12-09
Ono Way Of Carving a Turkey.

man likes better than to go to dinner
at the house of friend and he asked to
carve the turkey. He never carved
turkey in his life. and with an old maid
on one side of him, watching him close
ly, and on the other side fair girl for
whom he has tenderness, he feels en-
barrassed when he begins. First he
pushes the knife down towards one of
the thigh joints. He can't find the
joint, and he plunges the knife around
in search of it until he makes mince-
meat out of the whole quarter of the
fowl. Then he sharpens his knife and
tackles it again. At last, while making
terrific dig, he hits the joint suddenly,
and the leg flies into the maiden lady's
lap, while her dress front is covered
with n shower of stufiing. Then he
goes for the other leg, and when the
young lady tells him he looks warm, the
weather seems 10 him suddenly to
become four hundred degrees warmer.
This leg he finally pulls loose with his
fingers. He lays it on the edge of the
plate, and while he is hacking at the
wing he gradually pushes the leg over
on the clean tablecloth, and when he
picks it up it slips from his hand into
the gravy dish and splashes the gravy
around for six square yards. Just as
he had made up his mind that the tur-
key has no joints to its wings, the host
asks him if he thinks the Indians can
really be civilized. The girl next to
him laughs, and he says he will explain
his views upon the subject after dinner.
Then he sops his brow with his hand
kerchief. and presses the turkey so hard
4l, g., 81, e1: ~ Eel,
and upsets goblet of water on the girl
next him. Nearly frantic, he gouges
away again at the wings, gets them off in
q mutilated condition, and digs into the
breast. Before he can cut any off the
host asks him why he don't help ont the
turkey. Bewildered, he puts both legs
on plate and hands them to the maiden
lady, and then helps the young girl to
a plateful of stufiing, and while taking
her plate in return knocks over the
gravy dish. Then he sits down with
the calmness of despair and fans him.
self with the napkin, while the servant
girl cleans up and takes the turkey to
the other end of the table. He doesn't
discuss the Indian question that day
He goes home right after dinner and
spends the night trying to decide
whether to commit suicide or to take
lessons in carving.
NEATNEss AT HoME.-Most young
girls, nowadays. desire to marry rich
husbands, and, in view of that pleasant
destiny, neglect to fit themsel YES for the
humble walks of life. In the country,
we admit that girls are sometimes
brought up with an idea of work, and
with II suspicion that each may chance
to wed a sober, steady. good looking,
Industrious young man, who will be
compelled to earn by severe labor the
subsistence of himself and family But
city girls rarely cherish such lowly
ideas. From the highest to the lowest
class in life, the prevailing idea with all
is, that marriage is to lift them, at once,
above all necessity for exertion; and
even the servant girl dresses and reasons
as if she entertained romantic con-
fidence in her Cinderella-like destiny
of marrying, if not prince, Il wealthy
man, at least. It is because girls cher
ish these false ideas that young men
are afraid to marry. Theyoung women
they meet with are all so imbued with
notions of marriage SO utterly incom-
patible with the ordinary relations Of
life in their station; they are so wholly
inexperienced in the economy of the
household; they have been taught, or
have taught themselves, such a noble
disdain" for all kinds of family industry,
they have acquired such expectations of
ladylike ease and elegance in the matri-
monial connection, that to wed any one
of them is to secure lifelong lease of
domestic unhappiness, and purchase
wretchedness, poverty, and despair.
EFFECT OF REcoIL IN RIFLE-Suoor-
ING.-It has been question with
marksmen whether the recoil of a pistol
or rifle occurred before the ball left the
bore. Many have contcnded that it did
not, and that the tendency of pistol to
throw up did not effect its accuracy.
A recent experiment seems to have
shown conclusively that the recoil oc-
ours before the ball leaves the bore and
does affect its direction. The expert
ment was this: A rife barrel, twelve
inches long for convenience, was Sc
cured to solid bed in such wav as to
prevent any movement but that of recoil
directly to the rear and upward. In
this situation it was fired q number Of
times, and the balls followed each other
into the same hole in the target. An in.
cline or wedge was then made fast upon
the bed at the rear of the barrel in
such a way that the breech would be
raised as it slid back in the recoil.
Fired under these conditions, it sent
the balls lower than before. This