The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1876-04-08
WIT AND WISDOM.

DO they ever bark T. asked ole Mrs
Dorkins, gazing AZ a pair Of stuffed sea
dogs in the museum. "No, num-" said
Elnathan, mot now. Their bark is Oh the
sea.
A doctor attending punsteI Who was
very III, a.aniugized tor being late one day
by saying that he had % stop to SEE a man
who had fallen down a we'll Did he
Lick the bucke', doctor III groan, the
| puister
| One of the young mon belOi- ,ng to a
chuir had his hair cut hv canel JUS barber
Saturday. sunday he sang for a solo,
Cover my uefvi.ssiess head, aud biushed
like lobster while doing in.
Fellow travellers" said colored
preacher, ''ef hsd been eatin' dried apples
for week, and den took 10 drinkin for
mont, couldn't feel more swelled up dan
| am dis ninnit, wid pride and vanity at
seem such full 'tendence har.
DIsTRACTING .-Cr ,tomer-''What did
you think Of the Bishops sermon on sun
day, Mr.. Wigsby n Hairdresser-"Well
really, sir, there was gent a-settin' in
front o me AZ 'ad his air parted that
crooked | couldn't ear a word -
The RULING PAssIoS.-Prison Chaplain
Charged to report on convicts religious
knowledge DO you know the Com
mandments." PrisOner-"Yes, sir"
Prison chaplain-"Say the eighth" pris-
oner (promptly)- Thou shalt do no man
ner Of work thou, nor thy son, nor thy
daughter, &c.
Yonkers Gazette: n IS is amusing to
watch the ordinary woman drop cents
into the collection plate at church on sun
day morning. She manages to hold the
coin so that nobody can see it, and care
fully rutties up the other money in the
plate 80 that even the collector cannot tell
whether she put in one cent Or fifty.
Last month some Navada miners rot
hold Of a lugubrious- looking individual,
protesting to be a Brooklyn evangelist,
and mopped all the true inwardness" out
Of him. When they let him up, the lead
er Of the band said to him Now you
can git, pard'. We amt agin Christianity
out here, and it riles us to see fel.1r
spihn' it.
New York Commercial 81 am canvass
ing, remarked sombreface man, with
bundle under his arm, as he entered an
up town hotel and timidly faced the bland
and be diamonded clerk presiding at the
counter 81 am canvassing for Centen-
nial Bible, and hope you will excuse me if
F'-"Oh certainly, sir, that's no objec-
tiOn veil treat you Just as well as We do
any other guest please to register. Three
dollars, SIR He mildly remarked there
must be some misunderstanding
left
A Detroit lady was trading at wood
ward avenue dry good store the other day,
when she run shorG Of money and asked
the clerk to put the balance on the books.
He cheerfully agreed, and said he would
send the bill to her husband.
YOU'D better send it to me. " she said,
he figured up the cos5. ~ ye got Pc
culiar husband If that bill reads eleven
dollars for sugar, coffee and tea, he II give
me the money without w0rd. If 1t r lads
for balance on dry goods He'll see you in
Texas before he pays it, Make it out for
groceries. II IS my duty as a good wife
to pander To his feelings '- Free Press.
Lord Peterborough was once strangely
posed by witness, laborins bricklayer
who came to be sworn Really, wit
ness, said the Lord Chief Justice, ''when
you have to appear before the court, i y
your bounden duty to be more clan and
decent in your appearance. Upon my
life" said the witness, ''if your lordship
ines to that, I'm every bit az well dressed
as your lordship' How do you mean ~
said his lordship angrily. why, faith,
said the laborer; ''you've come here Ia
your working clothes, and I'm come IN
mlut4 "