Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1876-04-15

RIrrrsgwICK's WEAKNEss-Deacop Grimes
called the other day upon Mrs. Butterwick to
ask for subscription to the Missionary Society.
The following conversation took place:
your husband is Presbyterian, | believe,
Mrs. Butterwick 2 said the deacon
mo" replied Mrs. B., he belongs to pretty
near everything else ou earth but the Church.
That's what say to him, that while be JOIN
ing so much he'd better join something decent,
that'll do him some good. But he says he has
no time. He belongs to about torty-slx secret
q cieties OF various kinds. He's the awluest
man for such thiugs you ever saw, and all the
time running after them. Monday night he
goes round to the FreemasoDs, tuesday nlght
he associates With the Odd Fellows Wednes-
dsv is his Red Man night. Thursday is his
Temperance Lodge, Friday he goes fooling
alone With the Knights of Pythias, aod oil day
Suoday he is visiting the sick and the widows
and orphans Of dead members. If there were
sixtv days in week believe Butterwck would
have some lodge to attend to every night.
Mr.. Grimes, chat man actually knows ninety
three grips and over two hundred passwords.
And be e's awful mysterious about them. The
other day saw him swinging his arms about
kinder queer at break fast, and presently be
stops and says: Thunder, forgot where |
wasI Mary Jane, you saw that? 1t was a
grand hailing sign. Swear you'll never reveal
t." And you know he'll wake up nights and
ask me if heard him talking 10 his sleep, and
if saw yes he II look scared to death, aud <, t
ont his pistol and say he'll blow my brains out
if I ever repeat one of those passwords. And
he is all the time pracliciug grips on M, but
he won't even tell me what any Of them are,
although he knows III just dying with curlos-
ity. He says he Knows more secrets than any
other man 10 the whole State, and he says II
he was to tell one Of them, those Knights and
Patriotic Sons, and the rest OF thcm, would
put him into vault and seal him up alive, or
tear him to pieces With red hot pinehers
He's 80 careless, too. | see him giving the
grand hailing sign 10 the s.opmaD yesterday,
and the slopmsn asked Bridget if MIR. Butter
wick had the st. Vitus dance bad; aud | know
when he tried one oil those grips on the man
that came to tune the piano, the man said If
he squeezed his hand that hard again he'd
give MIR. Butterwck bloody nose.
And as for professions. Well. it seems to
m. that when MIR. Butterwck ain't at lodge
he's msrchipg in a procession. Always some
funeral, or celebration or something, and be
turus ou, aod goes skipping around through
the streets, dressed 10 cooked hat and sword,
and looking fierce enough to frighten any b ody
ou, of their wits. Aud he told me that some
times he Lets sll these grips mixed, and he'll
give Mason an Odd Fellow grip, and tell me
not to be surprised if he is kidnapped aud made
away with before morning. Aud he'll kiss the
children good-by, and make his last little ar
rapgements SOS everythiug'l II be straight when
he's gone and then the children and me II cry,
and he look solemo. and 10 to bed to rest be
fore he meets bis doom. But nothing ever
came Of it. They never touched him.,
You ought just to see the j. tiers that come
here directed to him. +. Butterwick, and
then whole alphabet of letters strung after his
name. He's Right Worshipful Grand Mas
ter and Sir Kuight, and au Eminent Past
Grand Saohem, and Noble Grand, and a
Grand Chanc ,llor. and Chief Magnificent
Reverend Druid Priest, and lot more such
things as that, enough to take you breath away
aod with it all be- no more stuck up than you
are. Just as humble as lamb. And he says
that he can reel out more stuff that they say
at ceremonies than'd I'LL small library; and
he has about sixty sheepskin aprons, and all
kinds of pictures on them that he wears When
he Is on duty.
So he has no time to tend to church, and no
money tor heather. He spent his last dollar
Saturday paying up his pass dues to the krlght'
of Pythias, and he says it be cant settle VI
with the Druids by Thursday they'll out hlu
off sud chuck him out. | don't know Wha
happens to man when the Druids shut dowt
on him, but Butterwick hints that it is mol
much better than sudden death. Perhap
you re Druid No2 Well, you call aud se'
But,erwlck and he'll explain 1t to YOU, ane
meantime those heatheu'l have to shutis alont
the best way they eau. Maybe, if You was t'
write to them how Butterwick is fixed they
might consider that sufficient. Good morning.
Remember me to Mrs. Grimes.
Then the deacon withdrew aud went around
to visit ess mysterious tamlly.-Erchdnge
rINOBA COOS IN STO 4 E.