Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-01-19
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

A circular saw-A proverb that goes
the round of society.
The man who pays for his clothes is
the best dressed man.
Half the "seal skin" goods which are
worn never saw a seal.
The skin of the common house cat is
rapidly rising in favor as dress far.
There is no grief great or sudden
enough to make bald headed man tear
his hair
The Boston Traveller thinks GLACIERS
should be pains-taking and putty good
people.
1t is said that every profound thinker
is smoker Keep your eye out for
smokers
Don Carlos has issued the ambigu-
Gus edict to his followers: Navarro
give up!"
Why is grain of sand in the eye like
schoolmaster's cane? Because it hurts
the pupil.
The man who carries cane for orna-
ment and not use generally carries a head
of the same sort.
Like bsrbed hook, prejudice enters
mans mind with greater ease than it
can be taken out
A colored woman was frozen to death
in Georgia recently. You want to spend
your winters in the South, ehy
Too many new buildings, and conse-
quently reduction of rents, is one feat
ture of the review of Boston for 1873.
"A London paper says that the Sultan
is San ignorant, besotted fool with oc-
casional interludes of actual insanity"
"A Rochester paper calls him "old
Tice," and the professor is measuring off
a good-szed earthquake for that town.
Maine still clings to the Imprisonment
for debt law, though she owes 1t to civil
cation to sweep it off her statute books
There's only one man whose business
you're glad to hear is dull during the mol
iday season, and that's the undertaken.
"A New York man, under sentence of
death for killing his sweetheart, has been
declared insane. Suppose he had married
her?
A member Of the California Legisla-
ture has bill for the establishment of
whipping posts for the benefit OF wife
heaters.
The centennial is at hand, says the
Troy On. W Times, and now let every
American citizen ge! his Ratchet ready to
tell the truth.
Just rs sure as a little boy gets hold
OF an unloaded pistol it is sure to go off
and kill some one. How the charge gets
in there is mystery.
The Duke of Edinburgh must either
go to sea and work his way to the rank of
Admiral or retire from the navy with the
title of Post Captain.
The London Saturday Repiep says
that 1.-the farmers and traders of the
United States are probably superior in
moral and intellectual qualities to the
bulk of any other civilized community"
"A Cincinnati physician wrote to the
Gazette of that city advising the abolition
of the horse. The Enquirer cruelty OBJ
serves: "Some ass is writing in the Ga
zette in favor of abolishing the horse.
There was always an antipathy between
these useful animals.
The Grand Jury at Jacksonville, Fla,
makes the following disclosures 1--WE
find that there are three prisoners in the
fail who have been there nearly two years
for the pitful sum of $40 costs each.
HtSt IIlSOuGlS nave tbsl l1C tOuDi1
nearly 5000. We recommend that the
County Commissioners pay the fines, re-
lease the prisoners and thereby save money
for the county"
People in Greenville, Miss, are ask
ing themselves what's the use of dying if
you can't get notice in the newspapers
The Inteltigencer, of that place, says;
"Onr friends must remember that we
cannot publish lengthy obituaries, and
especially of those who were not sub
scribers during their lives and who never
aided us in any way. Our printing costs
us entirely too much. We cannot afford
It, The announcement is all that we can
publish"
The most complete failure on record
is that of Warren b. Russell, of Hatfield,
Mass, whose liabilities are $2l 900. Sew
eral Of his creditors proved their claims
before Register Davis the other day
,Iosephus Crafts, assignee, visited Rus
HIS on Friday 20 inventory his property,
and found only sixteen spring chickens
and an old wagon, Fearful that the chick
ems might take to their wings and fly
away he at once sold them at seventy cents
each; and being in for the whole Job he
barganed the old wagon for five dollars,
making total assets of S1G.2O 10 offset
S2l 900. AS the expenses OF settling The
estate will be about 800, the remainder,
besides the $l6.20, will be assessed upon
those creditors who were so unfortunate
as to prove their claims. Boston Gtobe.
The Reading Eagle says that young
man from Springfield, Chester County,
Pa, visited that city to buy number OF
Christmas presents for young lady to
whom he is engaged. A number of
young men knew Of the trip to Reading,
and as it was dark when he neared the
house of his intended the party waited for
him along the road and when he was
thinking over the effect the presents
would produce he was suddenly met in
the road by four masked men, who caught
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