The Osceola times., 1876-02-19
NUMBER 81.
FACTS AND PANClEs.

iCidttNt5 otS Sus WIZ 1~<zssS
as last year.
"BoY, why did you take an armful Of
my shingles last Sunday" Why, sir,
mother wanted some kindling-wood. and
] didEs want to split wood on Sunday"
THE longest night in Norway lasts
three months, and when young man
goes TO see his girl her mother, before
retiring, tells her not to ruin her health
by sitting up more than two months.
Chow are We, smith," said Jones.
smith pretended not TO know him, and,
answered hesitatingly: "Sir, you have
the advantage of me-" Eyes ! suppose
20. Everybody has that's got common
sense"
An cpisayh ON Husband snd : via
in a country church concIu1es with :
quotation meant to be polite, but which
certainly may be construed two ways.
IL is a. follows: Their warfare is ac-
complished."
The Maquoketa, Wis, authorities have
adopted a very simple but effective
method Of regulating the liquor saloons.
They have passed an ordinance prohibit
ing the use of blinds, screens, stained
glass or anything that hinders obsefva-
tion through the windows.
THE Rev. II. Pahtahquahong Chase,
the hereditary chief of the Ojibbeway
nation, and president of the grand coun-
ell of Indians of Canada, is on visit to
Paris, and preached few Sundays ago
in the English chapel. His grandfather
received from George iii. silver medal,
which has now descended 10 his grand
son.
THE great pyramid weighs II, 76O, ,O00,-
900 tons. According TO HerodOtur, 1t
took the labor of 100000 men twenty
years 10 build il. To show the mechan-
ical value of modern improvements, DIR.
Lardner afiirms that four hundred and
eighty tons Of coal, with an engine and
hosting machine, would have raised
every stone TO its position.
THE Brooklyn Argus comedies the
truth Of Gail Hamilton's statement that
"lying is the cohesive power Of society"
and adds, Lying is also sort Of moral
glue, by which the pieces Of a shattered
character are restored 10 their proper
places. and made to look as good as new.
The great trouble IL, however, that 1t ID
not always accompanied by guarantees
TO stick"
IT is said that since the abolition of
purchase in the British army many re-
tired officers have entered the ranks in
the expectation Of working up to com
mission. One of the latest examples is
the case of an old officer Of the third
Dragon guards and the member of m
excellent family. His attachment 10
the service led him TO select the six
teenth Lancers.
THERE il no love like mothers love
no heart like mothers heart. Her
affections go out for her offspring, no
matter where he may roam or what the
circumstances in which she may he
placed. An instance was seen yesterday
when mother entered the central sta
ton and found her child, who had been
lost from home for hours. She sprang
wildly forward, eagerly caught him by
the hair, and rs she hauled him around
she tenderly exclaimed, 40 Bob Masters,
I'll wallop you for this when we get
hOme!"
A NICE LOOKING young man was seen
to spring from Madison street car the
other day, and as he straightened out
his Joints and pulled down his shirt
bosom, he was heard to mutter: You
may buy box at the opera; you may
get your name in the newspaper society
reports; you may wear the fiashiest
diamond pin in town; you may be in
troduccd TO the governor you may even
write poem but If you go into a street
car you are just rs liable TO be squeezed
into a corner and sat down on by fat
woman with baby as any one else! J"
And he walked off with the air Of q
martyr.
TIE recent death of Sir Anthony
Rothschild has set afoat again in Eng
land an amusing story which has some
times been told to illustrate the wealth
of the Jewish family: "Some years ago
there was whist club in Paris at which
one of the Rothschilds and several other
bankers used to play. One day one of
the bankers died, and the other men,
bers of the club, discussing their de-
parted friend, the question was put,
how much was he worth. Twenty
FIVE Millions" Ga million sterling was
the reply. Thereupon ROthschild re-
marked compasionately, had no idea
he was in such straitened circumstan-
ces 4"
MANY a man lives with woman half
lifetime without suspecting that the
wife of his bosom has really forgotten
more than he ever knew. Many q car
pet-knight who plumes himself upon his
wonderful skill in smashing hearts is
being mentally measured and intellec-
tually turned inside out by the smiling
girl whom he thinks he is captivating.
Many veteran beau who pulls on his
gloves to depart feeling proudly. con-
scious of having made profound i'm
preston upon the susceptible soul OF the
belle who has endured him for an
evening would be wonderfully enlight-
ened il not edited, could he hear the
sigh of relief, which escaped her lips
when the clang of the door announced
his departure.