The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-03-25
cREAMOF OUR EXCHANGES.

Although La Sale has wagon bridge across
,ha-rI,;nois river, there is bottom OF "i'c
,o,ueen the town and the bridge Which saiu
bottom, at present has "no bottom anu Tue
s,n,h side ia as inaccessible as If the bridge was
Ia Halifax However, go.ahead town ike La
s.,,o &, such cases, is never without resources.
The difficulty can be overcome by ulnlhg eH-
nenditure, which few leading citizens OF course
vii, nav out Of their own pockets rather than
ssve the project fail. This is the plan, as ex-
planned by the Pres:
Practical engineers who have called over the
,nad. pronounce the project OF building tunnei
rom La Sale to Shppingsport as perfectly ,e ea
jble and the cost will not exceed SS,Vo!oovJ;
among our own citizens. and 1t can be compile
tea in ten years Only think of i. when the tun'
mel is finished we can all 90 to Shippingsport.
shippingsport is to La Sale what Camden Is
"a Philadelphia or Windsor to Detroit Being
regarded a. foreign soil, people escape over
there TO aght duels, cheat each other In trading
horses and jack knives, and 70 dodge sla'e
warrants, subpenas and executions
Anew town has been laid out in Vermiiion
county, on the Hoopestown, II. q K. Raiiroad'
named Armstrong in honor OF the Armstrong;
Of this county. As no particular one OF them Is
named the honor is to be divided between all OF
them, which whites il down somewhat 70 each'
there being about 100 OF them.
Recently, at a. materializing ssdaee at lerre
Hsute, Ind some skeptcal investigators smirch'
ea their palms with lampblack and thus shook
hands with the apparition from the other world !;
bat when the lights were turned on 1t was founc
that the hands Of the medium bore the mark 10
the upsophisticated mind this seemed stunrer,
bat 10 the Banner of Light the explanation Is just
as easy you knew-well, this is IT.
Now every experienced investigator into the
shepomens is well aware that the spirit hand,
taking on any adhesive or colofing substance
will, In the recoil OF the transitional satoms, or
u some call II, the se,qe- aura, carry back that
foreign substance TO the corresponding memoer
II the mediums frame.
OF course, Of course. Any fellow might have
known that. just so. Certainly.
The bnmptious editor Of the Mendoza Bulletin
tackles the subject Of capital punishment, and
treats It with the lucidity OF mud puddle. How
ever, on the great issue whether twouldn't be
capital punishment in his own case to pin his
ears back with a crowbar and button his upper
Zip to his waistbsnd, we quite agree with him
That, without pausing to debate the question,
We are free to say that We take the affirmative
Aprcpos OF the present exceedingly dubious
state OF politics, the New York SON improves the
occasion to instruct It's readers in series Of cdi
flying fables Ike this:
YHB SHARK AND THE PATRIARCH.
During the Deluge, as needless Shark was
conducting Thanksgiving service for an abuBd.
ant harvest, a prudent patriarch looked out and
addressed him thus: Ny friend, sm much
struck with your open countenance; pray come
into the ark and make one Of us. The probabili.
ties are falling barometer, general atmospher
sc disturbance and heavy rains throughout the
region Of the lower universe during the next
forty dsys" THAT 10 just the sort OF hairpin
| am replied the shark, who had cut several
Iowe o. wisdom teeth, uTing on -FOUR DaiuEe'
About six weeks subsequently the patriarch en-
countered him on the summit Of Mount Ararat
IN very straitencd circumstances.
hoRAL--You can't pretty much most always
tell how things are going to turn out some
tnee.
81. Louis TsH.es: 1.-THE last time Mrs. Belknap
appeared In Washington society she wore two
elegant post traderships fcrl sar-bobs, while on
soft tide Of emotion"
Abill before the California Legislature would
Il passed, prohibit the sale OF intoxicating Ii
auor within four miles OF the state university
and the Ban Francisco ChroaieS says the title
should be AN act TO promote pedestrianisn
among the students"
Bys covert reference TO an implied allusion II
Congress few days ago, the reckless, astonish
ing and improbable insinuation was thrown ou
that Washington correspondent Of the New
York Herud had been lying.
II lie now conceded that general Belknsp vii
certainly be acquitted on the plea Of insanity
BE has been married three times.
The young men who tried to initiate the gen
tic sex at the leap year party in Washington
made great many ridiculous blundsrs. One o
them warned his partner against squeezing hi
hand, and she called him great big BOBBY ant
no girl al oil.
Bays a Washington correspondent: "Thirteei
members Of tho House Of Representatives ar
living dangerously" The rest IA obliteraied, bu
this h enough. The Allusion 10 manfesuy L
Blaine, Fort, Hale, Robinson, GARFIELD, &c,
There we're moro than 5000 patents issued las
rear, yet there is nothing better than an empt
soda. bottle TO throw at cat.
Newton Ward. who has studied the barometer
In this country for years, predicts that the sun
mer Of 1915 will be q wet season.-kcyrJks He
ed
Newton Wards knows as much about II .
o.dtee OF oldprobs, and we'd sooner take h
word than theirs, for Newton Is deacon sr
never swesrs. What! Deacon Ward swear
Reverl
The prince Of Wales met In Calcutta " the he
Of Umgungundhlcvu." That hero sounds III
an awful combination Of the military and am
tory.
Browns mother-in- Law died Sunday. Her IA
words were, {" am going 70 heaven" festerd
morning Brown gave up bic pee IN church
Eee Yoyk Star.
Tonight there will be "grsnd oyster-ope
ing match In Boston, between Providence a
anew York man, for $500 q side. The winn
win challenge any man In the world to op
oysters for 81 400.