The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1876-02-24
ALL FOURS.
TRAVELLING IN KENTUCKY VERY MUCH
OLA JOKE.
BRICK

IRA YELLING IN KENTUCKY-VERR MUCH
OF JOKE
II was during the Presidential cam
,aign which resulted in the election OF
Buchanan that the writer Of the append
ed sketch, in company with three other
politicians, rode from Paducah to Boston,
Kentucky, in a hack. They were bound
for one of the old-fashioned barbacues,
and he tells what happened on the way
thus;
The Joking Judge NJ. was one of the
party, and the bottles that peeped out
from the basket under the seat seemed
to improve the sparkle of his wit, the
flavor of his jokes, and the music of his
laugh, until the happy contagion even
reached the driver.
Our fun was at its highest, when turn
ing curve in the road, we saw down its
hot, dusty stretch, a solitary ox-cart with
its owner perched upon what proved to
be bags of corn. AS kind Of advance
guard, a great, ugly, brindle dog came
trotting along in advance, and attracted
by our noise, he threw himselfin an at
titude of defiance, determined to dispute
our advance. With his savage growl,
red eyes, and erect bristles, he indeed
presented formidableappearance, The
Judge could not let such an opportunity
for practical joke pass, Said he:
"rll bet the drinks for the day that l
.,,., 10 Joo, off tha rOoH
"Done," said we.
Stopping our hack, he got out and
threw the skirts of his Swallow tailed"
coat over his shoulders, stuck his old
slouch hat on the back of his head, and
going down on "all fours," he scampered
toward the dog with the most frightful
yells, reminding one of the fable of the
ass in the lions skin. This was too
much for the dog and bowling with
fright, he took to the brush. The oxen
also saw the fearful monster coming
down the road, and with wild below
they took to the brush, with their tails
standing straight out behind Away
they went, with wheels bouncing in the
air, bags of corn bursting open, and spill
ing their contents in continuous drill.
"Whoa, Blaze Whoa, Ball 0, Lordy J
what shall do?" came from the fright
ened man on the cart, as he was bound
ing from side to side, now grabbing a
cart pole, then catching at bag of corn
as it went over the side.
This kind of performance couldn't last
long without a change for better or worse,
as the oxen went tearing down the steep
bank of a little creek and overturned
everything in the water about waist
deep. One OK, getting loose, went up
the opposite bank and soon disappeared,
while the other covered down piteously
believing as we came up to the scene Of
disaster. There stood the poor man in
water to his waist, his wagon overturned,
and half his corn soaking in the water,
while the other half was scattered in the
woods. He looked scared and pitiful,
and said;
80, Lordy, stranger, don't never do
that ar any more, Pm ruined"
l. was a splendid success that joke,
and there stood the Judge holding on to
sapling and laughing till the tears ran
down his cheeks.
We took up subscription for the poor
fellow, the Judge heading the list with
an amount covering the damages, and
we added to it until we left the poor man
in thankfulness that he had sold his corn
so well. At the barbecue, the Judge bet
all his money on little horse race, and
lost, and from that and the effects of his
drinks at our expense, we had to carry
him to our hack on a barn-dOor. On his
way home he insisted upon standing
upon his head,
Which was the ruined man?