Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1876-04-20
The Fair Sex.

Lucy hennon, or kentucky, aged
l23, is in poor health.
The Treasury girls call a man
"bub" until he is forty-seven.
''Isn't your husband little bald?"
inquired one lady Of another. There
isn't bald hair on his head" indig-
nantly replied the lady.
A Minnesota girl is named Happi-
ness Quinn. and half the young men
in the neighborhoOd are indulging in
''life, liberty and the pursuit of Hap
piness." ;"
The momentous questiOn--Augus-
tus: "Now, Emily, do you love me,
or do you not?' Emily: "Well, if
| say don't, shall have to return
your presentsT
"Yes," she sobbed, "he was good,
unseliish soul. He used to scrape
the ugly, hard, crisp beans off the
top for himself and leave us the
nice, soft ones. He used to say no
thing could hurt his teeth, poor
soul"
Ten women are county superin-
tendents of schools in Iowa, and no
person is deemed ineligible on ac-
count OF sex to any school office in
the State. Any woman there can
practice law, sue and be sued, and do
business in her own name, if she
likes.
Beauty is very often closely rela-
ted to and dependent upon circum-
stances. Cleopatra herself wouldn't
have looked so exceedingly lovely
with her head thrown back, her jaws
pried open, and a dentist standing
over her trying to tunnel one OF her
molars with an Egyptian tooth au
ger.
That was a sharp reply of the old
Scotch woman who had standing
quarrel with her minister, but was
always in her place at church. The
minister expressed surprise that she
should come to hear him preach,
when she exclaimed: my quarrePs
wi you, mon; it's not wi the gos-
pel."
A little boy said to his mother the
other morning: "Ma, l had the
beautifulest dream last night you
ever saw. Idreamt that l wouldn't
go to school and that you went out
into the yard and cut great long
switch, but just as you was going to
give me an awful dressin' the world
came to an end! Didn't l get out of
it easy, thought
A gentleman conversing with a
Brooklyn lady about the absur'lity of
female apparel and the frivolity of
fashionable life exclaimed: as
there on earth bigger fool than the
mere woman of fashion" Her ques-
toner considered himself shut up
and put down like disagreeable
book, when the lady answered: "Yes,
the man who admires her."
They were sitting together, he and
she, and he was arduously thinking
what to say. Finally he burst out
with: 'In this land of noble achieve
ments and undying glory, why is it
that women do not come more to the
front; why is it that they do not
climb the ladder of fame?" 81 sup
pose" said she, putting her finger in
her mouth, at is all on account of
their pull-backs." And then she
sighed and he sighed, side by side.
allow is it, Mrs. Murray" said
one lady to another last night as
they had comforting cup of tea to-
gether with halfa dozen ruined repu-
tations on buttered toast, show is
it Mrs. Murray, that you always
have such nice milk? If the cow
herself told me that she gave it, it
couldn't be better" "Mrs. Lomax,
ma am," replied the experienced mat
ron, 81 never keep the same milk
man more than a month. He wants
to secure customers, and so there is
more cow in his milk than usual at
first. Whenever his milk is such as
not to enlist the best efforts Of my
cat, change.