River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1876-10-26
IiuinOr.

sickness had impaired his health,
said Wisconsin editor, which led
rival to remark "Yes, it often has
that effect
Lady Ito waiter)-"Don't put that
ice into the goblet with your fingers"
Waiter-"Lor ma am, | don't mind
my hands are very warm
"A friend of ours" says the editor
of a contemporary, lis growing weak
er and weaker every day. lie has
got so weak now that he can't raise
So
An editor says I'VE have re.
ceived basket of fine grapes from
our friend -, for which he will
please accept our compliments, some
of which are nearly an inch in dame
ter"
1t is remarked asa little singular by a
student of biblical paintings that all
the patriarchs are represented as being
bald. 1t should be remembered, how.
ever, that most of them married
young.
4 liye-year old tot, who had always
closed her prayers at night with "and
God help Katy to be good girl,
opened her eyes on that point a while
ago, and said, very decidedly 81 amt
going to say the rest, for don't want
to be dood girl; want to eat green
apples and swallow en-"
The Texas whisky is considered a
sovereign remedy for all kinds of snake
bites, and when a man in that State
fell off house the other day, and
broke four ribs and raising a lump on
his head as largG as mOck-orange, he
insisted for two hours after recover
ing consciousness that he had been bit
ten by a rattlesnake.
Advertisement from a Black Hills
newspaper: ut having been quite
generally given out that Capt. Ben had
departed from this vale of tears, an OPP
pOrtunity is here offered to view the
remains and witness the urbane corpse
deal out tea, coffee, shelf goods, and
a complete wholesale stock of the finest
liquors and cigars ever brought into
the Hills
"Gimme something to cure boil, J"
exclaimed a citizen as he dashed into
one of the drug-Stores yesterday. "Ah,
so you've got one of the things now,
have yOu!" smiled the clerk. eyes,
sir, and it just in the right place"
''Just in the right place" repeated
the clerk ''why, why, where is that g
son my hired man. came the sweet
reply, and the clerk saw the point.
An honest citizen is stopped on his
way home one dark night by a foot
pad, but, drawing his revolver, lays
the rObber dead at his feet. He is
| about to move away, when thought
strikes him, and returning to the
| corpse he examines its pockets. In
them he finds four gold watches, roll
of bills, and some small change. Stow
! ing them in his pockets, the honest
citizen goes his way, remarking 'NOt
so bad, after all.
In the London Divorce Court, lately,
a woman prayed for dissolution of her
marriage on the ground that she was
insane at the time it took place. She
was then so Frustrated with grief at
| the loss of her husband that she lost
her reason, and man in much hum
bier station of life persuaded her to
marry him. She had been in an asy-
lum. but was now sane. The evidence
being perfectly satisfactory, the mar
| riage was dissolved.
A correspondent writing from
Chenoa, Illinois says: 1.-The wife iOf
Christopher Zeher, living in p Ike
Township, about six miles northwest
of this city, has given birth to five
children within year. The first trip
lets were born on the evening of Sept.
%, 1875, and on the morning of Sept.
%, 1870 she had a pair of twins, a boy
and girl, which are living. The trip
let's died"
"My son. said bland gentleman to
a little boy, ''would you not like to
come to Sunday school 10 sing and
pray, and hear all about Moses and
Aaron, and the whale, and the fiery
furnace, Joseph's coat of many colOrs,
and put your pennies in the bOX!'
"Be you going to have Christmas
treel'' asked the child. "No, answer
ed the old man "but we are going to
| spend the money that would be spent
for candies and oranges and candy in
sending tracts to the little heather
children in ''That'll do, answer.
ed the rude young boy, as he took a
sight at the good old man; Il don't
train with no such Sunday school as
that" And he departed to stone lost
dog.