The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-08-24
Wit and HumOr.

JUST the place for babies-Rockaway
A GEORGIA man is suing another for
pulling his nose. The latter thought it
looked ripe enough to pick.
LAY his waxen hoofs together,
Close his eyes and fold his ears,
For he has gone to join his gee-haw
With the music of the spheres.
Mobile Register.
THERE mGy be recipes to cure the
potato bug, but there is nothing SO sure
as to blindfold him and back him under
a pile. driver.
INoUTRINe mind (reading): It says
here, Ma, His remains were taken to
their last resting place." Why do they
say :" his remains wasn't he all there?
Judy.
The last miraculous spring discovered
is the one at Pascal Outre, Louisiana,
which cures paralysis. A little of this
water should be poured over the iron
industry.-St. Louis Republican.
The Cincinnati man is not naturally a
fiery being, but he very justly flares up
when he goes into photograph gallery
and is informed by the operator that in
order to secure a good likeness he must
first wash his face.
The linen travelling Ulster is much
abused garment. A man looks like
Munster in it. Connaught be done to
improve it?-Eacb0nge. This is Lem
ster levity, but it is Glare he might Kerry
1t on his arm.-DetrO6t NeaUS.
"DID she not return your love % i'll
quired sympathizing friend of & young
man who intimated that he had had some
difficulty with his sweetheart. GO Yes,
she returned it, and that is exactly what
the trouble is. She said she didn't want
it."
AFTER having written squib with
much care and deliberation and the dig
nified composition up stairs halloos down
the pipe: 'Is this joke or an adver-
tisement?" such a salute is calculated TO
make funny man take an interest in
the means of cheap suicide.-EGte,a
Free Press.
A CooKEEY at the Falls of Niagara,
when asked how he liked them, replied
"They are 'andsome, quite so but they
don't quite answer my hexpectations
besides, I got thoroughly vetted, and
lost my at. I prefer to look at 'em in
an hengraving, in 'ot weather, and in the
'ouse."
EXTRACT from obituary notice of a
Madison man in New Haven ReJiSter::
'sThough he never said much as to his
domestic affairs, we should judge from
circumstances that he had not lived very
happily. To use his own expression,
a. II
and it had stormed ever since.
HAVE you seen Vogel2 If you know
where General of the name of Vogel is,
please return him to Prussia. The Ber-
lin papers have the following official an
nouncement: ''Any one knowing the
whereabouts of Gen. Vogel de Folzen-
stein, who disappeared two months ago,
will please communicate with Advocate
General Dedekine."
ONE morning woman was shown in
DIR. Abernethy's room; before he could
speak she barred her arm, saying:
"Burn." "a poultice," said the doctor.
Next day she called again, showed her
arm, and said: "Better." CONTINUE
the pouitice Some days elapsed be-
fore Abernethy saw her again; then she
said: ssWell, your fee?" Nothing"
quoth the great medico; "you are the
most sensible woman I ever saw"
He complained that life was failure;
that there was nothing new under the
sun: that he had found out the celdness
and hollownes of friendship, and that no
sensation could arouse him from the
apathy that was sleeping his soul in
torpor, when man tossing packages of
brown paper from warehouse to q
wagon smote him on the pit of the
stomach, and gave him sensation which
knocked the wind and the nonsense out
IF him at at one and the same time.
OLD MIDDLERIB came home the other
hight and ordered light lunch before
going to bed. ''Just mouthful of tea
md bit of bread, he explained. "Do
you want just want plain bread 2" asked
Mrs. Middlerib, with reference to the
or absence of butter. And the
I'D reprobate said he would take ole
piece plain, and the other with a Topped
,verskirt, shirred down the cores with
ne same, and held in place with knife
,leatings of grape jelly. He got the heel
f the LOAF. -E2Lrli2zOtO22 Hank E2Je.