Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1876-06-16

WHY WILLIAM ALIEN
At that remote and almost incredible period in
the exciting career of our republic when such OF
our people as did combine to glorify the victor
of the recent battle of New Orleans, and enthusi-
astically nominate him for the next Presidency
were as arjcntv employed in preparing for MS
benefit a newspaper campaign to prove him guilty
of every vice and crime ever attributed TO despotic
malefactor-at that very youthful and caow stage
of American story when such nationally immature
conduct was not impossble-there sat. one day. IN
a retiring room OF the best inn at 1ynchburg, Va
two highly historical figures. One of these might
have been described as physognomical ooiled
potato set angularlv in a window brush, superlm-
posed upon military uniform decidedly audiole
lp its gold lace ornaments the other, with coun-
tenance of ineffaby benignant smrk, and hair Ike
Washington's except that it had not been dressed
in a flour barrel, wore costume somewhere be-
tween motherin- laws black velvet basque and
a continental undertakers Sunday small clothes.
A person too gentlemanly to enter the apart
ment without invitation, and consequently staring
in through the fanlight the door. might have
understood the scene as consultlon between ar
my and churchyard upon some abstuce chemical
experiment; but the immediate language OF the
two personages at the table did not wholly verify
such Judgment.
II hold these TRUTHS" said he of the sections
air. "to be self evident that all men are born free
and equal; that they are possessed OF certain In,
alienabe rights, per schedule, life, liberty and
"By the Eternal" returned the other, with
enormous animation, "the Union must and shall
be preserved! Push the sugar-bowl this way,
Thomas"
These remarks. deeply fraught with the spirit of
early American craftsmanship, were followed by
curious facial exercises with the glass cylinders,
involving pleasant, gurgling sound, and the his
torical twain were wlping on their ch,ns' when
(WHICH is GEN'L JACKSON 2"
1t was q roar, deafening and tremendous, shak-
ing windows and doors like an ear hquake and
causing Andrew and Thomas to bound from their
chairs in wild affraight. By q common impulse
both men thrust fingers into their ears and as the
rcyerberations and vibrations gradually subsidized,
glared in every direction for some explanation OF
| the terrific noise. The only object encountering
their startled gaze q small boy of vast nose,
standing just within the half-open door and
staring at Them in turn with all his might.
81 WANT TO SEE GEN'L JACKSON"
The child seemed to make no particular exertion
in saying it but again the sound was that Of the
great bull of Bashan,-rolling out IN an overwhelm'
ing volume Is from a combined cathedral organ
and perturbed COW. Andrew Jackson and Thomas
jefferson exchanged looks Of unspeakable aston
ishment that SO much voice could come out OF
such small quantity of boy, and the former final
IL lifted the much youth into his lap with
many unwonted signs Of nervousness.
Then did the lad inform them in thunder tones
that his name William Allen; that be bad
been born eight years before in Ashervle. N. G.,
but was now an orphan, and going to school from
the home of relatives in ynchburg, and that as
the hero of New Orleans was passing through the
town he had been allowed to come and see him.
Much affected and deafened by all this noise from
one so small, the great men wished to present him
with silver shilling, in sign of their approval, be-
fore he took his leave; but, to their marked sur
prise, he stentoriously declined the testimonial
specie.
"Ill tell you what, though msters" he quickly
added, with ear-splitting sonorousness, IF Geni
g fnc, fynnI
for sAillin,' and sign his name under it, Ill take
that, by gum"
Touched by this example of unmercenary patr-
otism in a mere fog horn Of a child, A. Jackson,
of New Orleans, took his fingers from his ears
long enough to comply with the ingenious re-
quest; and within exactly ten minutes from that
time the hastily departing little orphan had for
ever demonstrated the Unreasonable superiority
of paper money over specie by selling his Jack
sonian e-bill for even-and-sixpence.
At the early time in his life when his financial
principles were thus strikngy illustrated and JUS
titled, William Allen was the uncle Of his nephew,
MIR. Thurman, and brother to the only married
mother of the latter. Eight years later, when
foot across the Alleghanies from his home in the
Shenandoah valley, for Ohio, all his worldly pos
sessions, tied in handkerchief held carefully un-
der his nose to protect them from the rain, and
his voice thoughtfully reinforced with judicious
| colds to yield him livelihood on the way. In
hamlet, village and town, as he passed successfully
through them, the young wayfarer earned ample
means of support by alternately calling home
stray children to their parents from distant woods
Initiating the crack of doom for a trave ling dora
ma of the Deluge, roaring for q supernatural and
voiceless lion in embarrassed circus, and bring
ing to repentance for pastor very wicked old
gentleman who had been totally deaf for quarter
of century. by acting as engineers brake sig
nal on partly disabled locomotive he gained pas
sage Train between GallipOlis and Chil.icothe,
which latter place he reached in profuse perspr
alton and the seventh year of his age.
Passing over, them what may have been fatal
to vice and pleasing to the Cincinnati Enquirer in
Mr.. Aliens days of howlingly virtuous immature
ty, we come to the time when his voice was twen-
ty-six years old, and compelled district in which
there were several sick people to send him TO Con-
gress. 1t was nearly five years older. and proper
tOnstely more dangerous to human life, when,
in 1897, the rumOr that William Allen was consid-
erng plan for addressing q public meeting in
the neighborhOod Of several blocks of valuable
buildings not extraordinarily iong in their walls
caused his precip itate election to the senate by
strong combination of property owners.
Much remains to be told to the credit of Willy
William Allen if the proper terms can be agreed
upon. The editors of the Cincinnati Enquirer,
who have known him intimately ever since he
had any money, believe that he might have been
President of the United States seven times in the
last twenty-eight years. aud are sure that two adj
IN Illustrations were moved to tears because he
would not discontinue digging potatoes and ac-
cept the missions to the English and French
courts. All this may be true; but if the present
farmer Of Fruit Hill wishes it set forth properly
by the pen of An unbiased history,-suppressing
carefully, Of course all reference to that little af
fair of his with Mr.. Hayes for the governorship
of Ohio,-there is a certain small matter of mutu-
al benefit to be arranged. 1t might be practical
BILE for him, for instance, to give q slight pledge
somewhat as follows: That if the st. Louis con-
vention should nominate him for the White House,
and he should be elected, he would spontaneously
give say posfmasership, to
ORPHEUs G. KERR.