The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-04-05

commence feeling curious behind my
ears and up and down my back again,
and then l wouldn't know whether /
was on the earth or in balloon, or on
comet or anything about it. 1t was
undoubtedly case of love at first
sight, and a powerful case at that
For wonder, l got through the frolic
without making myself cospicuous or
cutting up any extras, as I'm in the
habit of doing when / go into public.
I'd set my pegs to go home with the
widow when the ball ended, but Jest
as | was fixing my mouth to ask her,
up steps long father faced Doctor,
Mabry, and walked her off right before
nay eyes.-That riled me a little, but
| kept my tongue still, inwardly swear
ing to break his bones the very first
opportunity that offered itself. saw
there was no Use saying anything, SO |
went home and went to bed, and all
the rest of that night l was dreaming
about rainbows, angels, butterflies, fd-
dies, widows and doctors, all mixed up
worse than a dutchman's dinner.
"Well, Squire, to make short story
of it, made up my mind to have the
widow, or kill myself and somebody
else,
$50 l made it convenient to he on
hand where she was on all Occacasions.
| couldn't eat nor sleep, and if the
thing had held on, l wouldn't have
had sense enough to skin rabbit. But
!. vas determined it shouldn't last long,
for I'd been fooled so often by women |
thought / wouldn't give her time to
think of anything but me. She APP
pcared to take me right sharply, and
though the doctor seemed inclined to
mix it with me, didn't consider him
no more in the way than brush fence,
for l was so far gone that l thought
she couldn't see nobody on earth but
me. Well, Squire, things went on for
about a month, and one Sunday |
screwed up my spunk and put the
question to her.-She sorter laughed,
and she sOrter looked one-slded, and
finally told me that she couldn't give
Inc an answer just then, but if I'd call
at her house next Thursday evening,
shed give me final answer. Thinks
l, You're mine Just as sure as there's
fiddlers belowl Whenever a woman
takes time to study, she'll say yes !"
Squire, don't poets say something about
the calculations of men and rats going
crooked ?"
"NIice and men, Burns says" 1 an
swered.
"Well, mice and rats is all one, and
so is men and fools sometimes, as I've
found out in my travels. / was so
sure she'd have me went off and spent
all my money for fine cloths, thinking
I'd have them ready for the wedding
and l did! Confound her Thurs
day evening came at last, though it
was long time about it, and over l
went, dressed into fits, and feeling as
big as Josh Mayer did when he was
elected coroner. got there about
dark, and found a right smart crowd
collected, which was not on the bills,
but felt as big and as good as the rest
of 'em. So l marched in, like blind
mule in potato patch, and took seat
by the fire. 1 didn't see anything of
the widow, but kept looking for her to
come in or send for me, and passed
away the time by cussin' the crowd to
myself, thinking they had no business
there, and l would not get to talk to
my woman a bit. Presently a door
opened, and in walked Polly and that
dad burned Doctor and a whole team
of boys and girls fixed up savagely, l
tell you. / looked around for fiddler,
thinking they were going to have a
ball, but / wondered what they all
kept so still for, and was about propos-
in reel, when up gets little preach>
err, and before you could swallow live
oyster, lie had Polly and the Doctor
married faster than Mexican greaser
could tie a bulls horns i was so
completely hummuxed that set there
with my mouth open like was going
to swallow the whole crowd, and my
eyes looked like two billiard balls till
the ceremony was over, when l jump
ed up and bellered: .-. .....
al forbid the concern from being
constituted
"You are little too late, my frien6l"
says the preacher, and they all COM
menced laughing like they'd seen some
thing very funny.