The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-02-11
Detroit Police Court Sketches.
STRANGE FEELINGS.

SlhANdE FEELlNGo.
He was an old man, too, and he was
an old man whose personal appearance
couldn't have been injured by steam
boat explosion. His name was John
Doe, and he wanted it understood that
he was the original and only John Doe
now travelling in this country. .s
"Well, now, as we fully understand.
each other,'' remarked the court, i" let
us refer to that little affair of yours
last night.''''. Ed 45E
81 believe I am dying?'' said Mr..
Doe as he screwed his mouth around
and raised his hand to his heart.
81 guess not-you look healthy and
fat. Please answer to the charge, Mr..
Doe.n
81 feel strange-the room whirls-I
am not myself" whispered the prison.
"Mr. Doe, wish you would put in a
plea.''
"Oh! death! where is thy sting?"
sighed the prisoner. a.
''I'll make it thirty days for you, Mr..
Doe, and if you feel faint Bijah will
give you his smelling bottle"
Bijah led him away and wanted him
to smell the hartshorn, but the prisoner
suddenly regained his health and said
to the old janitor:
"Bijah Joy, I can lick forty such old
horse-plums as you are in five minutes
by the watch"
A soNGsrREss. ;}ssE.
Lucy Ellis wasn't rugged out in Sara
toga style, yet she demeaned herself as
secame a lady of education and intelli-
gence. She made an impressive bow
as she stood before the desk and smooth
ing down her rumpled check appn she
wiped her nose and remarked:
"Great change in the weather since
last july"
"Prisoneress at the bar, you are
charged with throwing a pop-bottle
through the window of corner groce-
~, and then trying to throw box of
soap out of the same window, all of
which disturbed the peace and raised a
great row.
81 am the Queen of song, Mr.. JUS
tice," she replied, bowling again. 81 can
sing any thing, from one OF Mozart's
farm ballads to one of Joaquin Miller's
operate airs.'
''This isn't singing-bee, Miss Ellis,
but you are on trial for disturbing the
peace and quietness of refined neigh
borhood on Atwater Street. Have you
any thing to say?''
81 am now organizing musical
troupe, and I hope you'll forgive me"
she replied.
81 can't help your troupe business.
l can't have any such rows as you got up
last night"
ssAnd you ought to hear me sing odd
Log Cabin in the Lane Judge. don't
put on any of these high airs when l
sing"
"You can sing for the amusement of
your fellow-prisoners in the House of
Correction. I'll make it two months. !"
81 will now proceed to sing that beau
tiful song called Sitting in the Gar
den,'" she replied, but before she could
do SO Bijah had her sitting on the saw
horse, and soon after that he came out
with the marks of her finger nails on his
hands.
HIS STRIKES.
els this New York, Detroit, Chicago
or Buffalo?'' inquired the next prisoner,
looking around as if his mind was I'M
settled.
"This place, Andrew Bate, is De-
troit,'' replied his Honor, as he softly
scratched his head. "It is city of no.
600 people, nicely situated, contains a
great many honest men, and is chiefly
noted for the great ease and huency with
which its hack-drivers tell man to 90
to Texas
swell, I struck this town in the
night continued the prisoner, land /
hadn't been here an hour before a loaf
er struck me.'
''Did you strike back?"
s"Yes, sir, and then l struck out tc get
away from the police"
''But the officers struck your trail, and
you were brought in, and here you are, >
said his Honor.
'tIt strikes me that you are correct, y
smiled the prisoner.
"Well, we will strike off on a new
trail. Iwant to ask what you are do
ing here without money in your wallet?''
81 thought I'd come here and wait
around, Judge
"For what?''
"For any thing > asaN
Micawber never lived here" said
the Court. "There's nothing to turn
up here. You might wait around here
hundred years and couldn't get soft
and easy situation, such as you probably
seek.''
"I'd like to get to be clerk in the
post-office," said the prisoner.
"Have you ever filed such posi-.
tion?''
"No, sir, but I've written a great
many letters and bought good many
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