davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-12-20

LArGHABLE But PAINFUL MIsnAp.-A
iaughable incident occurred in 4 orocerv
store III Newport, R. l., day or two since.
An empty barrel, with a few inches cnt off
the top, had been left standing in the
store, and man who had been STANDING
around until he was tired, sat down in i
ms would have been very well if he had
not set down too far. As it was he went so
Tar into the barrel as to double him nm
after the manner Of pair of compasses
The fellow realized his mistake and strove
10 correct 1t, but the more he did this tbe
further he worked into the barrel. Finally
he was constrained to cry out for helm. and
h"ii dozen men, among them the pro.
pretor of this store, came TO his rascuo
lhey tried compression of the upper and
neither eXtremities, but this brought foo
great strain amidships, and had to be
abandoned. Then Il council of war was
held. At this it was decided that eitbor
the man or the barrel must he sacrificed
ana although the barrel was worth twenty
cents, the latter alternative was decided
upon. A hatchet was procured and the
sides OF the barrel dashed in. It will
scarcely be credited that the man left tbo
store without offering TO pay for the barrel
Smyrna times., 1876-12-20
Woe then to all who grind
Ihelr brethren Of common Fathcr down .,

Mrs. ex-senator Henderson, in her very
clever book on cookery, says that Senator
Riddle of Delaware took much pleasure in
ms superior knowledge on the important
subject of omelets, Once, when break
fasting with Mrs. Crittenden Of Kentucky.
an omelet Of doubtful appearance was
presented to him. Before we proceed
with our breakfast said he, 'let me teach
you valuable accomplishment" They
repaired at once to the kitchen range,
We're the Senator Immediately demonstrated
his qualifications as Il very fine cook.
Smyrna times., 1876-12-20

Mr.. L. Q. G. Lamar the Southern Con.
gresham once talked about poets and
poetry to an enthusiastic young contributor
to the Boston Times. She says: ..Of course
1t was not long before wanted to know his
iavorIte, and | was not a little surprised TO
hear him name Whittier. And which of
his poems do you like the best 2 I asked.
with an instant resolve to ransack the
village bookstore for Whittier .Ob
his slavery poems are the best he ever
wrote; such fire, such spirit! What a fine
genlous the man had who could write this
and then he repeated some of Whittier's
thrilling, passionate verses, his eye lighting
with what must have been merely an in.
tellertual appreciation-fo the ex.slaye-
holder and fiery Southern soldier could
hardly sympathize fully with him who
wrote,
Woe then TO all who grind
Ihelr brethren of common Fa+bor Joy.,, -,
Smyrna times., 1876-12-20

Never turn blessing around to see
whether it has dark side to it.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21
THEY WANTED HONESTY THEN.

When Abraham Lincoln was nomina-
ted tor the presidency Iii 1880 me Repub-
lican party demanded:
THAT a return to rigid economy and
accountability is indispensable TO arrest
the systematic plumber of the treasury by
favored partisans, while the recent start
ling Developments Of frauds and corrup-
ruptions at the national metropolis show
that an entire change Of administration is
uiperatioely demanded.
Affairs have changed since then, and
what was applied 10 the Democratic
party OF 1850, now bears with immense
force upon the party in power.
Itis the Democratic campaign cry that
All entire change Of administration I, i'm.
perdtively demanded.
II Is Democratic motto. that rigid
economy must be practiced in the affair
OF the government.
And ii has been a Democratic cry O
warning for wears, that strict accounta
bility is indispensable TO arrest the syste
matte plumber Of the treasury by fayore,
pSrtisaps.
In lsG0, when the Republican part
sent out w. shove young chicken TO hatcl
Its brood. they did not believe it woul
rstpsp ~ r0ost in the Republican faru
ypSd, 10 vsrp the people Of the danger
a( kPubliesnisn, and tell them that tn
poutlcal dawn was breaking in the Eas
and difusina Its CHEEKY lights in the wes'
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21
IfA YES.


Louisiana. Ohio and Florida, with their
thirty-four electoral votes are rery donbt-
tat: but, | nevertheless give them To
Hayes column, and North Carolina and
West Virginia with their fifteen electoral
votes. and thought by some doubtful, but
put them down for Tilden, consc-
quently in doing this, gives nineteen in
favor OF Hayes, and the chances are as
much in Tilden's favor as Hayes. The
race however, does not lie in the southern
northern, eastern, and western states as
they will vote accordingly, but lies in
those two great states, New York and
Indiana. Should New York go tor Til
den, and Indiana tor Hayes. the race will
be very close and the majorities on either
side in the electoral vote will be very
small, and if they both cast their electoral
vote solid for Tilden. he is our next
president. In the approaching election,
in Indiana, should she cast her vote for
the Republican cause, it will be no critic
rion to 60 by as to the results In the No
vember election. as New York, with her
thirty.five electoral votes in 7rldea's
taror will elect HIM, or give us one OF the
closest and most exciting presidential
elections on record. Yours,
FAIR VIEW.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

The nobler motives of humanity concur
with the material interests Of all in rcquir.
ing that every obstacle be removed to a
complete and durable reconciliation be-
tween kindred populations once unnatur-
ally e:tranged. on the basis recognized by
the st. Louis platform, of the constitution
of the United States, with its amendments
universally accepted as final settlement
OF the controversies which engepdered civil
war" But, in aid OF result so benelicieni,
the moral influence OF every good citizen, as
well a every governmental authority.
ought 10 be excrted, not alone to maintain
their just equality before the law, but like
wise to establish cor dial fraternity and
good will among citizens, whatever there
race or color, who are now united in the
ono destiny Of q common seif-government.
II the duty shall he assigned to Inc, should
OF fail 10 exercise The powers with which
the laws and tue constitution of our coun-
try clothe its chief magistrate, toprotcct all
its citizens, whstever their former condi-
ton, in every political aud personal night.
-tFrom Samuel J. Tilden's letter Of accep-
lance.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

The Coiu'ie,-Jor,nal: IAN incautious
young lady clerk in the treasury depart
ment was promptly discharge the other
day, because she was heard to say that
she hoped the lightning would strike
the Lincoln monument disappearing
the name Of Lincoln is, of course, a very
terrific crime, but the Republicans wor-
ship Bob Ingcrsoll, who announces that
lie prefers Jupiter to the God Of the
Christians. and that Jesus Christ was a
bastarl.N
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21
THE IONHsBORO CONVENTION.

When we hear from the committee APP
pointed by the regular Democratic con-
yention that convened in ,Ioncsboro last
Monday, for the purpose of notifying the
the offices of Senator and Representa-
tiyes. we will fully express orr views on
the subject.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

While much may be accomplished by
these methods, il might encourage deusive
expectations II withhold here the expies-
sion Of Inv conviction that no reform of the
civil service In this country will be COM
plete and permanent until its chief magis.
trate Is constituticnally disqualified for re-
election: experience having repeatedly
exposed the fti.illty OF self.imposed resiric-
tions By candidates or inclmbCn ts.
Through this solemnity only can he be ei.
fectually delivered from his greatest tenp'a-
ton to m suse the power and patronage
with which the Executive is necessarily
charged.-[From Samuel j. Tilden's letter
OF acceptance.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21
In Carpetings

onIy), we are Offering English and Ameri-
can tapestries ut ~, former price 81 l6
body Brussels At ~ 10, former price IL 80;
Atwood Ingram at 70c., former price. 90c.;
three ply ingrsins at ii 70, former price,
81 so; oil-cloths ct Zoe. to zoe; former
prices, SOC. to SIC.
Samples OF goods, and catalogues of la
dies and misses suits aud muslin under.
wear, and infants outfits, sent tree OF charge
to all sections Of the United States.
Rules tor self-measure ment sent on appli-
catiOn to oil parts OF the country.
Orders for goods OF all kinds will be care.
fully attended to, and the goods packed
and forwarded without charge. jans-w2m
Broadway and Twentieth Street.
Grand and Christie Sts., n Y.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

Bob lngersoll. the disappearing genius
OF the West. is the champion of the Re
publican party. the "plmned knight of
the army OF Radicalism. His epigra-
matte brands HNme hiihcr and thither like
the incandcsccnt torches Of theatrical de-
mons. Tins is specimen snort and
tcrrible
"For more than ifty generations The
church has carried the black flag. With
the heart OF fiend she has hated; with
the clutch OF avarice she has grasped
with the jaws of a dragon she has tie
votired; pitiless as famine. merciless as
lire, with the conscience OF serpent
such is the history of the church ot
God"
Republican Bob. with a genius snpt-
riOr to most men. hates the church with
the venom of n serpent. and breaihs de-
iiancc to God in every pusation of his
heart.
few days ago Robert Barnwcll
l'hett, at one time attorney general of
South Carolina aud representative in
congress from that state for fifteen years,
died in Louisiana. lie was the author
of the ordinance of session and the adj
dress of South Carolina To her sister
statcs-in fact rebel heart and soul.
Clemens OF Alabama challenged him
to fight n duel. In reply to the chal-
lenge he used the following memorable
words
For many Years have been profess
ing Christian. and cannot disgrace my
profession. fear God more than fear
man"
Compare the language of this rebel of
the south with that of the loyal Republic
can of the north.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

The I'tsh Vindicdtor Is the name OF a
new paper just issued In Cincinnati, Hal
pin, McShane & Co., publishers. Years
ago, in the south, we knew Mr.. Ualpin,
and can say that, IL the other members
OF the firm possess the same business
qualifications as that gentlemen, the
HlsdieatO7 will become one of the leading
Irish journals Of the United States. 10
is independent in politics, and will be de
voted to the Irish character.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

WE like the Paducah Neaos, and We
like its editors, but we would like it bet
ter II the Cairo BULLETIN received credit
tor few Of those loaded articles that
have appeared in Its columns. We don't
consider them very forcible or fine, bu,
al occasional credit would not distigure
their proportions or spoil tie effect.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

TIE Metropolis Times: ~. ii. Oberly,
editor Of the Cairo BULLETS. spoke to the
Tilden and Hendricks club at the court
house last Saturday night for about four
hours. He handled the financial ques-
ton with more skill than we have heard
any speaker do on either side. At the
conclusion of his speech Watkins made
his appearance and humorously excused
himself from speech"
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

An alliance between the Sioux and
Blackieet Indians was attempted by the
former recently. The Sioux promised
the Blackieet a pant OF the spells and a
number of white female captlves il they
would assist in destroying the American
whites
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21
POLITICAL CONJECJUREs.

CAIRO, sept. Is, lS7G.
EDITOR CAIRO BULLETIN--DedFS Sir As
there is some prospecting done on Tilden
and Hayes states, allow me the privilege
to tally once. Herewith find below
Expectations on Tilden and Hayes" and
you can Use your own option in publish
inc Ii
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

See ,chea tie fruits Of industry are
gathered for The use Of he toilers, that
they are not ,oasted Ly the proaigacy
fraud or peculo,ion of yor public
aqeafs.-Gou. Ttldea.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

We denomce the Resumption clause
Of the act Of 1875, and ,oe here de-
mdnd its repeal.-Nat;onal Democratic
PLntform.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-09-21

BABCoCK's trial was called in the crimi-
nal court yesterday, in Washington CITY.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02
An Exciting Evening Session.

ALBANY, May lit was after IL o'clock
tonight when the Woodn charter amendments
were called In Committee OF the Whole In the
Assembly. Rumor had been rife THAI II was the
intention Of the Republicans TO tack the Green
Extension bill to II, and the Democrats
began TO ihbustor to delay action. hut
every motion made by them, to amend
as well as to adjourn, was promptly voted down
until motion to progress was made, which tho
Republicans promptly accepted. As soon As
Speaker Husted resumed tho chair strahan
moved to discharge the committee from its
further consideration and order 1t to a third
reading, following It up with moving the pre-
NiOus question.
Instantly every Democrat in tho House was
on his feet shouting u the Speaker. But Hustled
was equal to the occasion. In fact he rtvalied
the pany DAYS OF Tweed, when bills were put
through without delay, debate, or amend
mont" The bill was ordered to u
third reading, with Il general understanding
that when 1t IA upon Its passage II is to be
amended so as to make IL o, -ptable to many
keuublicans who nject " the provision requr-
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02
ELLEN CONNoR's FUTURE.
Rescued by the Society for the Prevention ~
Cruelty TO Children.

Little Ellen Connor, who was found
bruised and maneed In tenement In Thirteenth
street on Thursday last, was taken before Judge
Lawrence yesterday by the Society for the Pre-
yention OF Cruelty to Children, for transfer to
the Catholic Protectorv. Twenty men and
women from the nelghborhood In which the
child had lived accompanied her to testify In re-
lation to the atrocious cruelty OF her guardians.
John and Maria Connor. Kind old gentleme n
connected with the society that rescued the
fears, assuring her that she should not be sent
back to her former guardians. They would
Jest Kill me" she said.
To insure the attendance OF the Connors
guardians OF the little girl. they were nut under
trininR bonds after their arrest on Friday The
officers OF the society fcareu that II might seem
ike persecution to imprison them force
them to furnish heavy bail. on saturday the
COnnOrs moved away. as the uiiicers say. to es-
cape punishment out the ncighburs think tn Il
the couple moved to escape the angry resident :
ful story OF the cnid's life. under their guar
dlanship." felt like maSing tue neighborhood
hot for them.
william Everett, a lawyer, who represented
the ConuoTs. Informed the Court that II the
chilu should be sent To the ProttctOry, MIR. and
Mrs. Conner would set apart a small sun (prob-
ably SDOl for her support. The lawyer said that
the father Of the girl Is lahOrer. named Cleary,
who indentured the child to Mrs. Couuor three
and half years ago, upon her promise To settl o
upon her all the moneV ehe nad accun ulated
something more than $lNUJ The little girl Is
tho daughter Of drunken woman, the wife OF
Cleari, and after the Commis toners OF CHI rifles
family IN Connecticut. Mrs. COnnor sent Clesry
also to Connecticut, and he returned with his
daughter and gave her over TO the Connors.
Mrs. Connor's avowed intention was TO rear
the chiid IN religious manner, and make an
angel Of her" She Is religious enthusiast.
The child has been sent to the ProtectOry.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02
INSULTING TO THE HOUSE.
kilbourp Debating the Terms on which hc
will Produce his Books and Papers.

WASHINGTON, May 1.-The District Ring,
with the corrupt Judiciary OF the District OF
Columbia at its back, feels strong enough now
to Haunt Its arrogance In the face OF the House
Of Representatives. Kilbourn, having been dis
charged from the custody Of the House by the
decision Of Judge Cartier to-day wrote a letter
to the Speaker, which he requested might be
laid before the House. In II he makes the i'm
pudent proposition to that body, that IL 1t will
agree to send q committee to the real estate
Office Of Kilbourn s. Latta, the books and papers
Of that nrm will be submitted to II on condition
that none OF the secrets OF the nrm are to be
made publio.
Inc action Of tho House In laying his pre-
sumptuous and insolent letter upon the table
without comment was the only digni6ed course
LETT Tor II to pursue after the Speaker had pre-
seDted 10. The Speaker might have returned
the letter TO Its author without comment, and
thus administered tho severest rebuke possibl Q
under mo ecircumstances-cOntem silence.
III the Committee on the Real Estate Pool will
now do its duty, 1t will forthwith issue sub
prna to kil6ourn to appear before It, ana 10
bring with him all the books and papers origi-
nslly called for, and let him answer or not, as he
pleases.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02
KILLED BIZ MS NEIGHBoR.
A sunday Night Tragedy In tho village of Mer-
rinoc, Long Island.

MERRICK, l.. l., May 1.-Mr. Il. G. Barnum,
the clother, has a large estate near this village.
and employs between twenty-five and thirty men
es farmers and laborers. On Sunday evening his
miller, Nathaniel Holiness aud laborer Frank
Even, went to Hanson's beer saloon, near Mr..
Barnum's house, aud drank freely. They part
ed on good terms, and Holmes went down to
the mess house and took his supper. W bile he
was eating, farm hand, Thos. Eastman, en-
tered and told him that there were boys In bis
QIolmess) house. He had heard noises as of
the breaking OF furniture and crockery, and
had heard three shots fred In the house.
" Lot them go on firing" answered Holmes:
II have a revolver and shot gun In the
house" Holmes finished his supper and
went to his house, which is about quarter
Of mile from the mess room. Within every
thing was IN confusion. The furniture was
broken and chopped. the chairs and smaller Lr-
ticles had been thrown out OF the window, and
the floors were Uttered with broken crockery
and glassware, As Holmes came out after max
Ing the inspection, his arm was seized by man
who stood behind a door, and in moment after
a. club descended heavily upon his head.
could be struck, and for a short time
there was lively scufie. Thcn Holmes, seeing
him. loosened the hold OF his assailant and Sc
| cured II. The assailant was Frank Even, the
a% bsoss ss sd %
| gun to his shoulder to FIRE, Even turned Just In
time to receive the load OF duck shot full In the
small of his back. He fell to the ground, and
Holmes, without paying any attention to him,
| walked coolly tn the mess house.
Il have shot the fellow who was breaking
things in my house" said he to Kinsella, the
mess cook.
hope you are not serious" replied the cook.
Yes, am, I've shot him." was the reply.
After this announcement the cook. Holmes,
and five or six Others went to look after the
| wounded man, He was lying In the yard In
great agony, and late In the evening they re-
| moved him to hts own.home. He died Yesterday.
| Mr. Barnum was telegrdphed for. Upon his
arrival he gave the necessary notice to the Au-
thorites and II Holmes was arrested.
| Coroner Hicks yesterday held an inquest, and
| the jury rendered a verdict OF justinable homi-
| eide. District Attorney Downing, who was sent
for, arrived too late for the inquest, but after
| examining the premises and hearing the evi-
| dence he decided that the verdict was Just
| one. Not so the neghbors. They point TO tho
| fact that the man was shot In the back as proof
that the shooting was yindistive rather than In
| self defence.
| Mr.. Blrnum says that Even was crazed by
| liquor and went to Holiness house instea ad Of
his own. Finding 1t deserted-H olmes's wife
| and children were on a visit-he became en-
| RACED, and began to turn things inside out, un-
der the impression that all he was destroying
was his own. Even was generally sob and in
| dustrious, and was counted one Of the best men
on the estate. Holmes has charge Of the mill.
| anu rs well liked.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02

ing all persons holding positions under the oitv
Government to reside i'm the CITY, as Il Inter
feres with their par. onaee,
Polar Hayes gave. notice that tomorrow be
should move to suspend the rules, 80 as To order
the Green Extension bill to third reading
without being considered in Committee Of the
Whole. This will require sixty five votes, and
VIII be fair test as to the probability Of passing
the bill.
Jakey worth's bill TO create new Board OF
Charities for Kings county was ordered to q
third reading In the Senate this evening. Jacobs
frat resorted to parliamentary tactics to delay
action the bill, but at length consented to let
II go to a third reading, and will ngbt II on its
final pass iRe. "A deputation Of nrooklynites,
representing both parties, and consisting OF
Messrs. Ripley Ropes, Dwight johnson, and
three or four Others. are mere urging the passage
Of tho bill on party grounds.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02

prosperity and permanence Of the republic, the fnte
gence and OF the laurcb tho welfare OF our chill
".su Ppu ,ilIdren the latest generation. me
mOnor of our LORD and our hnal responsibility ~ ns
par Concur 20 Improve enforce these obligations,
praying that you may have wisdom aud strength 70
iuy usch rRe them. ana commencing you IN all thinRs
70 tne grace OF our Lord. remain your brother In
signed BY order and in behalf Of the General Confer
ence. At Baltimore. Md. May 1, 1870,
Tho address was referred to . ommittes Of
nine, to be announced hereafter.
The Rev. VIM. II. Perrine Of Michigan submit
ted a resolution as to the propriety OF dividing
tho General Conference into two bodies, con
sistine OF a clerical Senate and House OF Lay
Representatives, md proceeded to address the
Conference at some length, after which his
proposition was laid ON the table.
The usual standing committees, except that
on boundaries, were appointed, and the Con
Terence adjourned until Tomorrow, closing the
exercises with the doxology and benedictton.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-05-02
TROUBLE IN INDIA.
Mountain Tribes Declaring War and Raid
ing on the Villages

LONDON, May IA despatch to the Times
from Calcutta says the troops sent to escort the
GrosyeDor Mission have arrived at Bhamo, and
will march thence to Manwyne where the
Chinese escort stops. Col Duncan, Political
Agent at Mandalay, accompanied the troops.
Tue rumor that seventeen men were to be exc
cuted May 8, at Bhamo, for comulicty in the
murder Of Mr.. Margary Is not confirmed aud
PROBABLY Is premature. The Mission Is said to
be great success.
Anairs on the Puniaub frontier look less IA
vOraole then last week. Two Afreedi clans h ave
sent away their families to III ices Of safety. pro-
claimed war and made several RAIDS, IN winch
they attacked a village five miles from Pesh wer,
and carried away 10 head of o.ttle. Other
mountain tribes are said To have joined them.
strong force Will be sent from Peshawer.
Owing % recent blockade the tribes are snort
~ rovlslDns, but are apparently determined to
n-ht, nd unless strong and speedy measures
are taken the affair may ave nu IA trouble.