The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-04-21
SPRING HousE-cLEANINc

evening in the bosom of his family, found
his programme, on arrival at his house,
upset, and the prospect of quiet even
ing as badly shattered as a looking-glass
which cannon-ball has passed through.
Instead of q waiting wife and dinner, a
carpetless floor. soft-soap puddles, and
| the furniture stacked in pyramids, greet
ed him.
"Has there been fire?" he meekly in
| quired OF the servant as he deposited MS
parcels in the coal scuttle, which had
been converted into q corner ornament
Tor the mantelpiece.
"No, sir" replied the usually neat
girl, who appeared to be in an awful
| state of rags and soap-suds.
"Visited by an earthquakeW he Calm
| y asked, lifting bar OF soap, loaf of
| bread, and wet dishcloth off the crown
| OF his best silk hat, and smoothing 1t on
his coat sleeve.
.sSure the missus is house-cleaning,
sur" observed the help, waving drip
ping scrubbing-brush madly to and fro
ON the door.
The wife of his bosom entered at that
moment disguised with patcn OF stove-
black ON her lalr cheek, her nose fiery
| red from the cold, a pillow-case worn as
| q turban, o badly torn dress festooned
about her, and her feet encased in a pair
OF Wadso's Arctic overshoes.
"Good graciousl Maria, what's the
matterw he exclaimed, glancing from
his badly damaged hat To his dlsrepu-
table-l0oking matrimonial partner.
"Why, Pm spring house-cleaning, and
have got all the carpets up and out in
the back yard for you to beat this even-
ing" she replied in an exultant voice,
'and Pm SO glad you're BACK to help
Annie and me move the stove.O
l lou n
gloomily, sit would be better to hire a
man 10 come in the morning and beat
them. l."
"Nonsense, I won't have q strange
man here. You can just as we'll as shake
them as NOT" she interrupted, briskly
brushing his eighteen dollar seal-skin
gloves off the tsp Of the sewing-machine
into solt-soap puadle.
"When will dinner be readyW he
asked, despondently, as he rescued his
gauntlets and wiped them dry with his
. poeket-handkerehiet.
ooh, had to let the fire out to black
1.-THE range. 1t you're hungry, Pll get you
something to eat," she replied, leading
the way into the kitchen, where, having
fished up an ironing blanket, the family
, cat, a sun-bonnet and some clothes-pins
! out of the wash boiler, Week-old NUT
ton bone and some cold buckwheat cakes
I, were discovered, the table spread on the
!, corner oil the mante[piece, and dinner
! announced as ready.
Wadso groaned in the spirit at the
sight OF the unsayory viands, and his ap.
petite vanished like q boys kite when
the string breaks.
Snow, il you're through, let's move
Q the stove," sand Mrs. W., after allowing
v him seventeen seconds to worry the muL
/ Lon-bone in.
Z Wadse rolled up his sleeves, mounted
l.. the kitchen table, gave o wrench at the
q pipe hard enough TO haul an anchor ou
. Of the mud. The next moment the table
!, had turned a back somersault, he hat
l. peeled the skin of his shins and knuckle
|. by falling over the stove, and his wifi
l. was stamping-around with tears in he
Q eyes and about peck ofsoot poured owe
g her face.
s "sThere! Iknew you'd do it," screame
l. Mrs. W., looking as If she was blacke
y for a negro minstrel performance.
q adso made no reply, his attentio
N being diviued just then between lIls lac
b. Grated snins and @ broken window
n through which he had driven the end
III | that Internal stoye-pipe.
"You did it on purpose, believe,
IN sobbed his sooty wife, wiping her fac
10 with her pettlcoat.
w w duoO odlu AVpuAuS5 pub JukRGu dW d
w at the pipe, and after knocking down
TO bird cage, upsetting a glass lamp, ruiz
20 ing his clothes, and nearly jammlng th
III eve out OF Anne, who was passing, SUI
of ceeded in getting il into the garden. Fl
rel did not return just then, but spent th
re- next two hours thrashing dirty carpet
b, with broom handle, choking and blint
d. ing himself with dust, raising blisters o
nj his hands, bumps on his head and prt
~ family sins OH his conscience, that bo
ties of Imminent and weeks of piety wi
a scarcely effect cure.
se When he did 60 IN, it was with the fac
ts of a chimney. sweep, muscles aehin,
e. hands smartlng, shlns paining, eye
ry wa ering and temper soured to an el
se tont. that even the seductive charms
ut the cold mutton bone dished up again fC
as his supper failed to entirely restore hil
u TO good humor.
Mrs. W. retired early, worn out wit
ns the duties OF the day, and Wadso, ha'
I'd ing added up his grocer's and butcher
IL books, washed himself at the kilche
I'd sink with yellow soap, locked up tt
"a huuse, eXtinguished the gas, anu wei
le sadly, sOrely, and hungrily to bed.
is "Darnationp he exclaimed, as ne fe
e. over the rockiug-chair on entering th
tn pitchdark room and was kicked in tt
w. ear with the rocker.
ut "Oh, heavensl what noise your
makingp' screamed mis- wife from tt
be bed.
he "Why in thunder didn't you leay
be things stand where they belongw h
N. yelled, as he tried to get out OF til
lis clutches Of the kicking, founderin
H. chair.
Id "IHs your own stupid awkwardness
is she answered.
th "Ips your confounded upsettingW r
to torted Wadso, getting up ON his feet an
n sitting down in the place where the be
I'd used to stand.
lie "Good Lordy what in the ID
w thls?" he yelled, upon finding The be
alfl gone, and he clutched wildly at tab
SO 10 save himself from falling, dragging
globe of gold fish down upon his hes
Vt with crash.
ut "YoulI break everything in Il
bit houseW cried his wife, jumping out
OF the bed in the opposite corner and 1igh
he ing the gas.
he "House be ha-hanged, wo-wo-womai
ee I-Pm dr-drownedw gasped Wads
nd wringing the water out OF his hair, ey'
an and shirt.