The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-03-16
The fun Of the Ching.
THE LETTING OF THE PEws.
nv the WHY Deacon and the Emulous Siste
S4' A Ballad Of Bethel

a Ballad OF Bethel
It's New Years week: In Bethel Church
The brethren all are met:
The voice mayst hear Of the Auctioneer-
This night the Pews are let
Upspake the pous Pastor then
To the Deacon old and gray:
That our receipts may be large tonight,
less expect than pray.
For well i wot when times be hard
And debtors shun the search
Or creditors, economy
Begins abroad-at church"
outspake the gray old Deacon then:
BE comfOrted no fear,
For the Pews shall now bring more, to"'
Than what they did last year.
In Moses words, see verse 10
of Exodus xiv
Nanght will l say to yon this day,
Except Stand still and see.
This Deacon was an Israelite
Indeed not without guile,
And for a saint, well-acquaint
With every worldly vile.
And there were two sisters in the hoek-
Though they sisters still
They hated each other fervently
As piOus women Will
Talk to Sister Brown OF Sister Jones,
And her face assumed q frOwn;
While Sister Jones compressed her Ups
At the name of Sister Brown.
To Sister Jones thus that Deacon gray:
Sister, i fancied you
wOuld worship this year in our most
Aristocratic pew
Alas, the desires of our hearts
That are fulfilled be few!'
Then ND and spoke good Sister Jones:
AYE and so think still;
For am one of the women who mean
They Will when they say they will
Hum. Hal" observed the Deacon gray
But Sister Brown has said
No sister sit in that pew
Whose hair is carrotred."
The sister first turned red then pale,
Like one who's sharply child
And answered. with an inward breath,
she did, did shef She did,
=. To Sister Brown quoth that Deacon gray
so you don't take that PewI"
And she raised her eyes in sheer surprise
And answered: Yes do"
But Sister Jones on the altar will
OF her substance lay the whole,
Ere she'll let cross-eyed sister come
Between her and her sOnl.'
The sister smiled a bitter SMILE
And answered, fervently,
The while she clenched her fingers tight:
She wont, wont shel Well see."
Then loud above the hum confused
Came the AuctiOneer, his voice:
ladies and gentlemen, how much
M offered for first chOicer'
Good Sister Brown she made her bid
'One hundred dollars ~ then
In clarion tones spake Sister Jones'
See you and raise You ten.'
But calamity came Sister Brown
And at her own game met her:
Il see the raise of Sister Jones,
<Ahu ~ tNeHtN
All, me! that were a goOdy sight
For any man of sin.
Like the Honorable John Morrissey
Or John +. Chamberlin
Logan, FarweIl, Schenck who well
Can the game of poker play,
To see good Sisters Brown and Jsnes
Join in that piOus fray.
The brethren stood out" and around
Like so many mutes,
Till Sister Brown raised Sister Jones'
Raised her from out her boots.
There a murmur in the Church.
With one eye, Sister Brown
Transfixed her rival, she paid
Twelve hundred dollars down.
Il am not rich in this worlds goods
Deliberately said she;
But no red haired woman takes the frsrf seat
In this here sanctuary
- q Meanwhile where was the Pastor gOOdi
Where the Deacon grayi
In the lectureroOm in triumphast dance
Merriy bounded they:
"Hurrahi last years receipts are topped,
And its debt the Church Pay,'
And sOemnly said the Deacon old:
"A blessed promise to me,
Was always writ in verse Is
Of Exodus XIV