The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-06-08
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
The path Of duty-Through the Gus
ON House.
Rheumatism is always joint affair,
and yet there is only one party 1t.
The Danbury Ns,os mans cure for
warts kills the man who owns the wart.
1t is said to be dishonorable to cast
off a long-tried friend: but how about
winter flannels2
"A humane writer says he has always
found himself we'll repaid by treating
dogs like reasonable beings
Sacramento has witnessed the novel
sight of a domestic cat sucking an Or
phaned offspring of wildcat.
Times continue to be hard, and yet
$4,000 able. bodied men daily engage in
the highly-elevating games of croquet and
base ball throughout this suffering land.
From the wilds of Washington Terri
tory comes the cry, Send us wives!'
And many a sad. eyed Benedict who reads
this item will devoutly wish he could re-
spond to the call.
War is q sad thing, even when it is
war in Mexico. No one knows how it
jerks on farmers heart strings to see his
China cochins lifted up by the heels and
strapped to a saddle.
"A correspondent entered an Office and
accused the compositor of not having
punctuated his communication, wnen the
typo earnestly replied: "I'm not q
pointer; Pm a setter.'
A down-east editor says "the ladies'
spring hats are pretty, and worn on the
upper edge of the left ear, which makes
one look arch and piquant, like chicken
looking through crack in fence.'
Don't inclose coin or jewelry in
letters either ordinary or registered, which
are sent to any foreign country in the
postal union. The Berne International
pc tai treaty excludes from the mails all
such letters.
"A young man in Wisconsin, the other
day, delayed his marriage ceremony in
order to feed his horse. He explained
that a good horse couldn't be found every
day, while thirteen different girls wanted
to marry him.
AT the show, the other evening, q
gentleman sarcastically asked man
Standing up in front of him if he was
aware that he was Opaque. The other de-
MED the allegation. II said he was not
opaque. His name was O'Brien.
The New York Sun is writing against
expensive funerals. 1t somehow never
did look right for man to spend $4,000
burying the wife who could never get
anything better than a delaine dress out
of him while living.-Detrou Free Press.
1T is, OF course, always we'll not to
suspect people unjustly. But when a
milkman memorializes the selectmen of a
Connecticut village that the town pump
is out of order, thinking people will draw
their own interences, and you can't help
it either.
AS the morning train reached Jersey
flats lately, very pert young man leaned
forward and addressed lady whom he
had never before seen. /" These are the
celebrated Jersey flats, madam" Then
there are two of you, eh,' she promptly
replied. "Ah, yes, twins, l see."
"A young gentleman coming from a
wine-dinner, yesterday, was asked by a
lady: "Why, Mr.. -, what makes
your face so very red?" Strawberries, -
he replied, "nothin', 'shure you, but
str(hic)berries. Nice vegetable, str'b'ries,
all! fine rdw-Cinci"uati Times.
On Hinglish coach-box: Rather
remarkable, amt it, sir? But ave you
this line begins with a H?' Jaw, beg
your pardany' look at 'cm! Amp.
stead, 'Ighgatc, 'Ackney. 'Omcrlon, En-
The latest labor. saving continuance is
coupon cutter, so constructed that it will
cut two sides of coupon simultaneously
The greatest annoyance experienced in
taking care of Government bonds we have
always found to be the tedious work OF
cutting off the coupons -Butalo Express
-" What would he your notion of alb.
sentmindedncss ?" asked Rufus Choate OF
a witness whom he was cross-eXamining.
"Well, said the witness, with strong
Yankee accent, / should say that man
who thought he'd left his watch to hum,
and took it out'n lis pocket to see if he d
time to 60 hum and get it, was leetle
abs ent- minded"
"A social philosopher out IN St. Jo-
seph, Mo-, who has been one year mar
ried, says there is great deal in the cx.
preston of back comb to denote the
state OF the domestic atmosphere. When
his wife's come nes,lcs quietly in its
proper place, all is we'll with him, bu,
when it is lifted and leans forward, he
says: "Look out for squalls"
-"And you think. darling, you could
be content to share my humble lot and
live in a quiet way with love and me ?''
queried the blissful lover as he looked
fondly into her translucent blue eyes.
"Why, yes, precious; you have no idea
how economical l am. Pa gave me q
hundred dollars last week to buy new
silk, and saved enough out of it to pur.
chase four pairs of six-buttoned kids
"A boy playing about the United
States mint at San Francisco recently,
found brick of gold. worth about 81 600
which had been thrown out with the
ashes and cinders. When found it was
too hot to be held in the naked hand
The officers OF the mint made several
frui less efforts to regain the precious
brick, but the child's mother informed
be safe, and that if they recovered it they
must do so through due process Of law
They tell of pert New Hampshire
school teacher near Fitchburg, Mass.
who had class in geography on the floor
the other day, and she asked one of the
boys what the soil was in New Hampshire.
The answer was "sterie." The teacher
highly indignant, said the soil was as
good in New Hampshire as in Massachu.
sets. The scholar spunkily denied it, and
added, Father had bull in pasture in
New Hampshire, and the soil was so poor
that the bull starved to death. They could
not get earth enough to bury him, and had
to collect pieces of wood and burn him. u
The teacher found the boy was posted,
and did not continue the argument..-Ez
change.
CENTENNIALITIES
The japanese bronzes are exquisite
and attract great attention.