St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-12-01
Squibs.

boldly that we cannot all go to COrinth
he disappointment was 81 great that
the members of the infant class were
affected to tears.
1t has been II godSend to the news
boys, the excitement of the pas. week.
Some of the little fellows were very
bright and sharp. In Boston one was
CRYING, ''Erc's yer 'Erald, II O'Clock {:
hes elected" "Who p inquired IA pat
ron. The 'Erald'S man" .Who is
he = "Anybody yer please. 'Erlld's
neutral"
The Norwich Bulletin gravcly states
ihat the woman sutflagi>tS of New Iia-
ven held il meeting last week to prove
that woman Is mans superior in point
OF courage. but some protlmc person in
troduccd Il live mouse into the room.
and those members who couldn't climb
up on the table, dropped out of the
window, and the meeting WAS broken
| up.
| 1t Is said of Il Chicago editor who
was very thankful for Tildcn'< election
that II took him nearly an hour to get
down on his knees. He wasn't used to
1t. First he WAS inclined To stand on
his head. then he put his elbows ON the
ground, but finally halt Il dozen of the
boys got around am. planted him in the
right attitude.
In one of the largest and most thriy-
ing towns of Ohio Il well known hotel
keeper and politician was appointed
collector of internal revenue. One
morning he found on his desk Il letter
addressed to him officially. without
p"stmark. containing Il 800 grccmback.
10 which wa> pinned Il small piece of
paper with ''CnnSciencc money" written
thereon. Quietly folding up the green
back and putting it in his pockctbook,
he remarked, Il always did suspect
that barkecpcr of mine
They tell Il good story of an old bust
ness man who recently found himself
''colnercd" financially. aud desired to
Z" mt" bankruptcy. He applied to IL
lawyer t" know how much it would
cost t" have the papers made out and
the business put through Ho was told
that the expense would he about 800.
and appearing to he satisfied with the
price. he told the lawyer To 90 ahead.
The lawyer followed the Instructions,
and when the work WAS done he called
for his little 800. "All right" said
the bankrupt. ''lou can put NouI claim
night in with the Others"
Professor Cleland of Galway has is
sued IL new work entitled "A Diction-
AIRY for the Dissection of the Human
Body. Such Il work supplies Il long
felt want. and must have a large sale.
There Is nothing more provoking than
To undertake to carve Il human body.
and. being unable to strike the Joints.
be compelled to twist IL leg oil in a
most painfully unscicntitic manner,
The book will be handy to have in the
house. -Norristoun Hc1uH
According to Il Cologne newspaper.
there Is III that city Il booth in which is
exhibited "a bearded lady" At the
entrance Is stationed girl to take
money. Recently visitor. having
teasted his eyes on the strange phenom-
cnon, thinking, on his departure. to
have Il joke with the little money takcr.
SAID To her. tondling her under the chin
the while. 'Well little one. suppose
the bearded woman is your mamma.
clI :! NO. sill. replied the child, ''she
is my papa"
My friends. said Il returned mission
AIRY ut ON" OF the anniversary meetings,
W. Us 'lNp'i S''tIdlllll blI1tl ness. he
inhabitants of llind"Stln. " here have
been lahorlng tor many Years. have Il
provcrb that though you hathr Il dogs
tail i'll oil and bind it in Splints. Nou
cannot get the crook oui of it Now. "A
mans >ectarian bias is simply the crook
i'll the dogs tail, which cannot be er;,d-
Icated; and | hold that every one
should he allowed to wag his own pc
culIarltN IN peace"
a Milwaukee paper reports .I23
deaths from small poN. of which 80 were
fatal" The disease must have asSum-
ed an extremely violent form if this
statement is trustworthy. When, in
the course of an epidemic. death be
comes fatal, the community afflicted
should lose no time in clectimg a new
board of health.
He WASN'T SICK.-A Georgia ne
gro, while waiting for the train to 90
out, struck up with several old ac-
qnaintances. GLOW is Jccms Robert
son = asked one, after the usual time
ot day" ''Didn't You hear about Jim -
4ueried the Joneeboro darkey.
81 amt heerd from Jim since he cut
loose fun de chain gang. He amt
down with de billiouSucSS am he -
'Oh, no Jim ain't sick. an he amt
bin sick. He dis wanted fur ter ride
Mars Bob Proctor'S mule de uddrr Sun
lay, an de mule pcared to have, an
lndcr Engagement. / done bin fool Wild
lat mule before. an tolc Jim he bet
"r not git tangled up wId her. But he
lowed he wuz a ho>> doctor, an den
Ic aNcd me fur Il chew of tcrbackcr an
got de bride an cutcl dc male and n,t
IN her-well spec better ." cit my
Ickct. Dey tell me dis train goes
l call yhootin"
Hold ON, you amt tole us bout
)im." said one of hi, du>ky auditors.
Il done tolc yOu all | know. Jim
got on de mule, an she >nrter humped
Ielself, an der was IL scutlic. an when
te duS' blow away see de bigger ON
ie groun an de mule calin' at de troH
AId one NV JimS galIuScs roun' her
llne leg. Den afterwards de kur'ner
ne cum an he said Jim died Snrter ac-
,Idental like. Hits DIES like tell YOU;
lat nigga wuznt sick il ninnit"
Here is the difference. Gov. IIayes
ays: ANY man tit to he President. or
ven Il candidate of ii great party for
he office would prefer to be- counted
'ut by fraud, rather than be counted in
~ fraud of which there is IL REASONABLE,
nsplcion.' Gov. Tilden saws: 81
5uess we've got them this time"