Smyrna times., 1876-11-15
Automatic Welcome Chair.

Aut0maGlG welcome G1dlFI
The Ha,ckeye has just got in its new
editorial room, and it is proud to say that
it has the finest, most comfortable, COM
plete and convenient editorial rooms in
America. They are finished off with a
little invention which will be of untold |
value to the profession of journalism when
it is generally adopted, and we know that
it will rapidly into universal use as
soon as its merits are understood and ap- |
preciated We believe that it is fully |
equal, in all that the term implies, to the
famous Bogardess Kicker, less liable to get
out of order, and less easily detected by
casual visitors. 1t is known as Middle
ribs Automatic Welcome" The sane
tum is on the same floor as the news room,
being separated from it by partition, in
which is cut large window, easily opened
by an automatic arrangement. The editors
table is placed in front of that window and
near the head of the stairs, and on the side
of the table next the window, directly
opposite the editor, the visitors chair is
placed 1t has an inviting look about it,
and its entire appearance is guileless and
commonplace. But the strip of floor on
which that chair rests is deception and
fraud. 1t is an endless chain likesthe floor
of horsepower, and is operated at will by
the editor, who has merely to touch a
spring in the floor to set it in motion. Its
operation can best be understood by per
sonal inspection.
Yesterday morning about ten o'clock
Mr. Bostwiek came in with funny story
to tell. He naturally Topped down into
the chair that had the strongest appear
ance Of belonging to some one else, and
began in his usual happy vain: "I've got
the richest thing-oh! ha, ha, ha!-the
best thing--oh, by Georgel canit-oh
ha, ha, hal Oh it's too good Oh! by
George, the richest thing Oh its too loud!
You must never tell where you got-oh, by
Georgel can't do it It's too good You
know the--oh, by George, / ca" Here
the editor touched the spring, nail graf
under the bottom of the chair reached
swiftly up and caught Mr.. Bostwick by tht
cushion of his pants, the window flew uI
and the noiseless belt of floor gliding on it,
course bore the astonished Mr.. Bostwicl
through the window out into the new
room, half way down to the cases, wher'
he was received with great applause by th'
delighted compositors The window haC
slammed down as soon as he passed through
and when the editorial foot was withdraw
from the spring and the chair stopped ant
the nail grab resumed its accustomed place
young Mr.. Bostwick found himself so kinC
of out Of the sanctum, like it might be
that he went slowly and dejectedly down tn
stair. as it were, while amazement sat upo
his brow, like.
The next casual visitors was Mr.. j. Alex
Flaxster, the critic. He had copy of tn
Haackeye in his hand, with all the typ
graphical errors marked in red ink, an
his face was so wreathed in smiles that
was impossible to tell where his mout
ended and his eyes began. He took I'll
vacant chair and spread the paper OF
before him, covering up the editors man
script. aMy keen vision and delica
sense of accuracy" he said, care ii
greatest crosses of my life. Things tn
you never see are mountains in my sigh
Now here you see is a." The sprir
clicked softly, like an echo, to the imp
tient movement of the editors foot, Il
nail grab took hold like bulldog helpii
a Burlington troubadour over the gard'
fence; the chair shot back through Il
window like a meteor, and the winde
down with a slam that sounded like
wooden giant getting off the shortest
Of profanity known TO man, and all "
silent again. Mr.. Flaxeter sat very close
the frosted window, staring blankly at I
elouded glass, seeing nothing that cou
offer any explanation Of what he wou
have firmly believed was a land slide, b
he not heard the editor, safe in has guard
den, softly whistling, We shall meet
we shall miss him"
Then there was a brief interval OF qu
In the sanctum and a rustling OF raim'
was heard on the stairs. A lovely won
entered and stood unawed in the editor
presence. The E. P. on its part was rat
nervous and uncomfortable. The lov
woman seated herself in the fatal ch
She slapped her little gripsack on
table and opened her little subscript
book. She said am soliciting G
cpnsrlbutions- strictly, exclusively
psrsmptorily cash contributions--to pay