Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1876-02-11
humorous Sketches.

"AN-~Ss "NnANehOu' n thau duN hts "ho
and big gil were having three handed
fight, but they let up as he looked in.
What's the row p asked the officer as
be noted their bloody noses and scratched
iaces.
Row . they all shouted 10 chorus
'Well, it looks Like row, answered the
Ificer.
'You 20 longr continued the woman,
irving hard to smile. This is new par
lor game, and We an Jane are playing
arin, John. We had him in a corner when
YOU came in and three more good lifts
would have counted him out
The officer went away and left them 10
finish the game and John together.-De'
trod Free Press.
He was unhappy. Tears rolled down
his fresh, rosy cheeks as be sat leaning up
ON his hands, which were clasp in front of
him. No light sorrow caused that look of
anguish upon bis fair young face. Bitter
~ he WEEP, but his tears seemed not to lit
the load of SORROW from his heart. Aud as
he sobbcd aloud and moancd, a kind old
man was passing, but stopped asked the
cause of grief in one so young and innocent
MY son, what fills thy little heart with
such trouble Hast thou lost thy mother,
or has thy father been taken from thee by
by grim death Or have the angels waf-
ted thy little sister to her heavenly home p
Still he moaned and sighed while the tears
again filed his eyes. What ails thee, iny
child /? What dost thou want ? Then be
looked up. I-I-boo-hoo, I've got the
the beIler ache, tha'-that's wha-what l
want, you ya.ler haired old-ole hyena,
you.' And the old man shook his head
surrowfully as be passed along.
SHE WAS NOT AFRAID Theodore
Tildon, in his lecture on the Problem of
Life tells the story Of the king who could
not be made happy except by wearing
happy mans shirt When the happy man
was found il was ascertained he wore no
shirt This invariably creates a laugh,
and Theodore takes advantage oft by slid
iug in the following bit Of humor Ladies
and cenilmen-I suspect from The merry
bumor you are in that many Of you would
be afraid OF unbuitoning your vests :
When Mr.. Tilton got this of in Newark,
n. j., the other evening, stout and tidy
looking Scotch woman in the gallery res
bonded Devil bit am ! afraid, mon, ,
aud then unfastening two buttons of her
dress in front, and disclosing the snowiest
frill ever blauched by the sun, she continu-
cd /: Here j. is, mon, seventeen border
linen, aud my grandmither's ain spinn:n,
too. Theodore passed on.
Pa, are you in favor of the Bible in pub
lie schools 2 asked West Side youpgster
at the breakfast table the other morning.
Why, of course, ] am responded the
father, pleased that such an important sub
iect should engage the attention of his
youthful offspring. What makes you ask
such a question, my son p % nothing,
rejoined young hopeful, only ] thought
maybe YOU wasn't, as you never have had
one at home The urchln lodged, but he
wasn't quick enough.
Il CAME near selling my boots the other
day. said Scuttle TO his friend. How so p
We'll, had them half-soled.'
VICTOR HUso SAYS that woman is the
conundrum of the nineteenth century,
We may not be able TO guess her, but We
won't give her up.
A BELaRAYIAS Observation-Disclosures
Mother, isn't it wicked 10 say You be
blowed,' as Algy docs p Mother-It's
worse than wicked, my dear-it's vulgar.
AN IRISH coachmsn drivin: past some
harvest felds, during summer, addressing
smart girl engaged in sheaving, cxclaim.
cd: 'Arrah my darlin-I wish was in
Jail for stealing ye!'
'EH, dector,' said bailee of small
Scotch town 10 friend, he maun hae been
an extraordinary man that Shakespeare
there are things hae come into his head
that never would hae come into mine at a.
Stumbling into lis room, be sat down or
The edge Of the bed end soliloquised thus
Feet wet, tight boots, a sore on one hand
an a felou on t'other, and no boot Jack ir
q house. Sings got TO be dfrent Either
mus get married, else get boot Jack
whi' shall doy'
Somebody advertises in the Londor
TSnes for servant girl that fears the Lore
and can carry one cwt. Hand maiden,
that can successfully wrestle with an hun
dred pound weight are not usually the sor
o'Gcmales that fear the lord, or anybo3,
else for that matter.
Said Nevada lawyer concerning mar
who had kicked his wife down stairs Gen
tleman of the jury, he h'isted her Grea
heaven, he h'isted her! He-the brute
once perhaps, a man-raised his foot and
applied it to the form of her who, at th,
holy altar, he had sworn TO love anC
cherish =
AT Rawlings, w. T., fellow standin;
on the depot platform Of the Union Pacific
Railroad accidentally shot ofhis rife. Thl
ball went through a wealther-board
through mans coat tail and between al
invalid lady and her little daughter. Ami'
the sensation tho fellow looked at the wash
er-board and said; 'Irs id smootl
hole
sympathy says John Paul, is some
thing which never withhold from thos
in trouble. whether they happen to b
friends or not there's nothing mean abou
me. / find, too, that one can go arUunc
shedding sympathy on all sldes. for week
at time, without spending cent or beln
at much personal Inconvenience
1t is reported that a somewhat juvenil
dandy said to n fair partner at ball.
Miss don't you think my moustachcs ar
becOmingp' To which Miss replied. We'll
sir, they may be coming, but they hav
not arrived yet