The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1876-10-13
Wif and Bnnror.

Wif and Bnnrnr.
Young xanderburg married wealthy old
Who of, in querulous tone.
life, 'o"'e eohJugai
Would remind him her wealth was her
own; was ie'
MY money bought this and nv money
bought that,
WIN my money you seem to be free -
hat, F' u" HIS
was your money, nv love. that
bought me- "-Ex
several of the street RAILWAYS be.
came grand trunk lines last Sunday bv
having big trees blown across them
I-Phitadelphia Bulletin.
When q bootblack agrees to s'shine
em up" for $ cents and you give him
III, he's to make you out a thoroughly
polished gentleman. York Com.
mercial.
She will sit all day at the sewing ma
chine tucking that new Dress petti,oat
while her husbands shirts in the draw.
er haven't got a button on them
Ne'o Orleans Bulletin.
when 1 am gone" said Lieutenant
Hobbs, huskily, to the Chairman of
the Democratic Central Committee:
when am gone" "Going fur?,
quiered the Chairman. "When / am
sone." continued the warrior. not no.
scing the interruption, "place this in
scription above my voiceless head
And he handed them this: "Here lies
The Standard Bearer of the Party of
Reform IN an Irredeenable District.
He fell Lingering Victim of Wrecked
and Blasted Hopes, which was Just his
Blasted Luck Mortall Sit at this
Little Mound and study wisdom: When
you make up your mind to be a Re-
former, see first if you would not make
a better Fool.-Burlington Iotca)
Ha,ok-Eye.
OLD CoAcHY-'.Now then, Sam.
taint to no good you a hargyin' VII
me; tell you that there's big knee.
and l say wherever there's hinIarge-
nient there's allus a weakness. Sam
becoming exasperated In defense of
his favorite)-''Werry we'll. then.
what say is as how you've gotten a
desperate big cad, and that looks bad
for you"
"Gudesake, man." said housewife
to an honest dairyman, "wbat's this
ye're doin' till our milk moor The last
got frae ye there was aboot a third
OF water" There ye're wrang. Mrs.
Maclaren," returned the man; sit
maun hae been some ither body's milk
ye got last time; mines aye haIf.an,-
half"
People may say what they will
about country air being so good for
them, "said Mrs. Partington, "and how
they get fat upon it; for my part,
shall always think it is OWN to the
vitties. Air may do for camamiIes and
other reptiles that live on it. but I
know that men must have something
more substantialler.
An English gentleman was strolling
out with a cockney-a genuine cock
ney-when they finally approached a
meadow, in wi1fct- was spread out a
heavy crop of hay. The cockney
gazed at it wonderingly. 1t wasn't
grass, it wasn't wheat, it wasn't turnir.
tops. "Vy, vat ever does you call this
stuff" said he to his companion.
''Thatl Why hay, to be sure" WIS
the reply. "Hayr' exclaimed he.
That's cutting it a little too thick
If that's hay, just show me the hay
corns."
A hen belonging to a Pennsylvania
Democrat, who still votes for Andrew
jackson, was sold to a Republican
farmer last spring and hast laid an egg
since.
To person OF weak nerves there il
nothing more dreadful than the spec.
taele of a red headed woman attempt.
ing to blow down powder horn.
A Texas man got mad because a
waiter handed him a napkin the other
day. He said he ''reckoned be know.
ed when to use hank'ercher without
havin' no hints thrown OUT
New Orleans Bulletin: 'Tye heard
the 'Miserere' in the Sistine ChapeID
said Potter, in a confidential tone.
I've lis ened to the rich disapason of
the grand old organs of Notre Dame.
I've felt my whole icing thrill to the
climacteric rnonody of Titanic Niagara;
but nothing ton ,hes my true inward
ness 80 eIquisitely as when Mrs. Potter
says to me, 'Ephraim it's time to carve
the pullet.'"
Burlington Hcoksye: Several Bur.
iington men, who kissed their wives
goodbye and started tor the Centen-
Dial two days before the Goss-Allen
prize fight, have Just returned hom.
and say they never saw so much sci.
ence in SO little space in all their lives
Their trusting wives are 50 glad they
were pleased.