The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1876-08-25
Dom Pedro will return to Brazil
by way of New York.

his way); "Well, | can't exactly
direct you governor but if you'll
jump into my barrer I'll drive
you there"
An exchange remarks tina
"some people are wholly unable
to appreciate delicate irony" We
have observed this ourselves
particularly in the case OF
washwomen and shirt bosOms.
When a woman comes to the door
and call after her husband, "Hen.
RE-E"-fnishing the syllable in
capital letters-you may know
that she is not in a capital hu.
NOR.
A printers devil propounds the
following: "What is the difference
between a thirty-dollar-a- week
position at the case and the chief
of the Sioux" Ans. "One is a
bully sit. 'and the ether is a Sit
ting Bull"
At the French Assembly, 7:15
p. NJ: Speaker (aside to member):
"For heavens sake finish your
speech! | give a dinner-party to-
night" Member (aside to Speak
er): u know it. Another time
you'll invite me-"
circumstances alter cases." said
a lawyer to his client, after losing
his fourth lawsuit. "Cases after
circumstances" savagely replied
the client. "By your manage
ment of my cases my circumstan-
ces have been nearly ruined"
An English paper eXulting ex-
claims that the Turks appear to
know how to make capital use Of
their improved arms. Recent
events induce the belief that
they know how to use their legs,
too.
The newest collar is called the
"Safety." 1t is so named from the
fact that it is high enough for u
man who wears one to crawl up
behind it and hide when his wife
steps in at the Office to inquire
whether he mailed her letters.
The Whitehall Times asks: "If
Necessity is the mother of inven-
ton will some sharp paragraphist
please inform us who the father
is" Why, the husband of Mrs.
Necessity, of course. Isn't this
APPARENT enoqgN
We tried to say yesterday that
smart men frequently find their
duli-einea in stupid beauty; but
the compositor, who made it read
ull-cimer," does not find it dull
simmering under the wrath Of the
writer.
"Where's the barr" asked dir
ty-looking stranger of the bell
boy of the hotel the other day.
''What kind of a barr" asked the
latter. "Why, a saloon bar, of
course: what do you suppose /
WELL" drawled the boy,
81 didn't know but you might
mean bar of soap"
In the Agricultural Hall of the
Centennial Exhibition there are
two immense hogs stuffed, each
bearing a placard telling their
age &c, followed by the word
A man and his
wife were looking at these with
great interest. After reading the
placards, the woman said; "Why,
these are taxidemists. | thought
they were hogs" Her husband
looked at the creatures with q
puzzled expression, and then
went carefully over the placards,
as if to satisfy himself fully on the
point. Finally he replied: "They
are hogs TaxidemistS is the name
of the place they come from"
The first seeds Of matrimonial
discord are usually sown immedi-
ately after going to housekeeping.
1t is not because the tender wave
Of harmony no longer pulsatea
from soul to soul. 1t is because
she insists on his doing the mar
keting Immediately after break.
fast, on a full stomach, when he
doesn't care whether he has a
canvass back duck or n boiled
lish.rag for the next meal.
Mr.. Dana's theological disquisi.
ton lead the Washington Star to
observe that diana with
out a hell would be literally q
man without a county. And the
Sun would like to say, Twinkle,
twinkle, little STAR" but it is
against its principles to quote any
but elegiac poetry.
An English gentleman was
itrolling out with u Cockney-a
genuine Cockney-when they
finally approached a meadow, in
which was spread out q heavy
crop Of hay. The cockney gazed
1t itwonderingly. 1t wasn't grass,
It wasn't wheat, it wasn't turnip.
tops, "Vy, vatever does you call
his stuff" said he to his compan.
on. That Why hay, to be sure"