The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1876-12-20
Written by Itself.

AND JuQ1CQ B answer was leS.
Written by Itself.
MY life is shortly told. My first i'm
preston was the sensation of a tremen-
dous but short squeeze, which instantly
awoke me into life and thought. l was
now spread out to the light, and q glow
of intelligence completely pcrvaded me.
My ideas were at first new, multlfarlous
and confused-nations, politics, courts,
wars, speeches, merchandise, fghtings,
feasts, marriages., ditties, poetry, ETC.,
etc., made up all my thoughts, which
were various and mixed. l lay in q
silent state of wonder and great amaze
ment.
I soon found that I was but Il Of a
very large family, aud was nshered into
this curious world at the same time.
Our whole family was laid in regular
order in q pile; my situation, being one
of the first born, was particularly un-
easy, damp, and uncomfortable. / bad
q silent, intuitive longing wish to get
into the world, which vas at last graft
fed.
Morning came, and I was carefully
folded and laid, Moses-ike, In a basket,
by boy who was called the carrier, and
borne into the street. The said carrier
T soon found was an object OF interest
and desire. He was soon accosted by an
elderly looking man, with ~threadbare,
rusty breaches.
"aave you a spare paper this morn-
ing, my boy7" ,
"No, sir" was the short reply, and
he trudged on with us, muttering:
"Not as you know on, old gripes. You
are the same chap that promised me
some coppers for the paper the other
morning, and hain't paid me yet; you
ere too stingy to take the paper-you
won't get another from me, I guess"
My brethren were now fast leaving
me, being deposited at their proper des-
tination. At length my turn came, and
+ was tucked in the crevice of a shop
door. The first sample Of the kind was
not at all alluring. I had not been long
in my new situation, when u reluctant
early coher, swinging a key in his hand,
wistfully eyed me, and casting look
about him, feloniously seized me, and
thrust me into his pocket. My rightful
owner, by, virtue of advance pay, being
in sight, hailed and arrestedth pilferer,
and with threats compelled him to re-
linquish his prize. He entered his
store, and I soon found that I was the
first object of his attention. After
hastily drying me by the fire, in which
process I narrowly escaped confagra-
ton, he ran over me, and fixed his eyes
upon sales at auction, advertisements,
etc. I was then more particularly e1-
amined, and dismissed with %condenna-
ton.
"Nothing but foreign news-con-
gress and cabinet-love stories, and &C.
| cidents by food and field. A newspaper
should be q commercial report, n side
at least should be devoted to prices cur
rent" I was then pettishly thrown
upon the counter, but was soon in re-
QUESTION. A boy came in, with a
Please to lend me your paper for a
few minutes, just to look at the ship
news?"
The request was reluctantly granted,
with something about the plague of pa
per borrowing, and q determination to
stop it. Twas soon borne to aneighbor-
ing house. The good old woman, whose
husband was at sea, eagerly sought the
ship news, but was quite disappointed
in her search.
Chow negligent and careless these
printers are," said she; "not a word of
Intelligence of the Wind Bird; they
print Of Poland and poetry, and fill their
papers with advertisements, and that is
all they care about"
Miss now took her turn. She sought
the stories, poetry, and marriages,
which in half an hour we're all devoured
with a "wonder that they put anything
else in the paper" An elderly lady
now took me, who, adjusting her spec.
tacles, surveyed ME a little while, and
declared me a "terrible uninterestlng
paper-hardly a column of deaths, and
not more than fifteen or twenty murders
and accidents" T.
In this way I passed through all the
hands of the family, and after being well
soiled and somewhat torn by the little
ones, was sent hons. For three whole
days I got no rest, but was continually
borrowed and abused. At the end OF
this period I was s~upplanted by a new
face, and was then discarded and thrown
aside like all servants when they have
become useless. I was, however, again
re%suscitated, and employed as a wrap
per to some merchandise, and sent into
the country. There I again became the
object of interest, went the rounds OF
the n~eighborhood, and was a "nine
days. wonder"
I am now quietly hanging up in q
shattered condition, in a farmers kitch'
en-, from which I have written this brief
memoir. I have seer muchof the world,
and learned that mankind are unreason,
able and ungrateful, and that in a world
of great variety of tastes and wishes il
ia impossible to please all.