The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-07-12
THINGS NOT WORTH TRYING.



all you know, and do not all you can. . There is
50 much work to bo done that needs our hands
that il is a pity to waste grain Of our
strength. When the game is not worth the
candle, drop it at once. It is wasting time to
look for milk in gate post, or blood in tur-
nip, or sense in fool. Never ask oovetous
man for money until you have boiled flint
soft. Don't sue adebtor who has not penny
to bless himself with--you will only be throw
ing good money after bad, which is like losing
your ferret, without getting rabbit. Never
offer a looking glass to a blind man ;if man
is SO proud that he will only quarrel with you
for pointing them ont TO him. 1t is of no
use to hold lantern to mole, or to talk Of
heaven to a man who thinks of nothing but
his dirty money. There's time for every
thing,and it is silly thing to preach to drunk
en- men, 1t is casting pearls before swine get
them sober, and then talk to them soberly If
you lecture them while they are drunk, you
act as If you were drunk yourself.
Do not put a cat on a coachbox, or men in
places for which they are not fitted. There's
no making apples of piums little minds will
still be little, even il you make them beadles
or churchwardens. It's pity to turn mon-
key into minister or maidservant into
mistress. Many preachers are good tailors
spoiled, and capital shoe makers turned out of
their proper calling. When God means crea-
ture to fly, he gives it wings, and when he in
1t is pity to push a man into war if he can
not fight. Better discourage mans climb
ing than help him break his neck. Silk purs-
es are not to be made out of hogs ears, and
pigs will never play well on the flute, teach
them as long as you like.
1t is not wise to aim at inpossibilities--it
/ is q waste of powder to fire at the man in the
moon. Making deal boards out Of sawdust
is very sensible scheme compared with what
some of my London friends have been trying
to get money by buying shares in companies,
they might quite as soon catch the wind in a
net, or carry water in seive. Bubbles are
fine fun for boys, but bubble companies are
edge tools that none should play with. If my
friend has money he can afford to lose there
| Is still no reason why he should hand it over
to set of knayes; if / wanted to get rid of
my leg, should not get shark to snap 1t of
for me. Give your money to. fools sooner than
let rogues wheedle you out of it.
II is never worth while to do unnecessary
things. Never grease fat hog or praise a
proud man. Don't make clothes for fishes, or
coverings for affairs. Don't paint lilies or gar
nish the gospel. Never bind up mans head
before it is broken, or comfort n conscience
that makes no confession. Never hold up
candle to show the sun, or try to prove thing
which nobody doubts. would advise no
than 1t is worth. You may sweeten a dung
hill with lavender water, and bad living man
may keep up good character by an outward
show of religion, but 1t will turn out losing
business in the long run. II our nation were
sensible, 1t would sweep out good many ex-
pensive but useless people, who eat the malt
which lies in the house that Jack built they
live ON the national estate, but do 1t little SER
vice. To pay man a pound for earning a
penny is good deal wiser than keeping bsf-
ops who meet together by the score and con-
suit about the best way of doing nothing. If
my masters old dog was as sleepy as the bish-
ops are lie would get shot or drowned, for he
wouldn't be worth the amount Of the dog-tax
However their time OF reckoning is on the
road, as sure rs Christmas is coming.
Long ago my experience taught me not to
dispute with anybody about tastes and whims
one might as well argue about what you can
see in the fire. 1t Is Of no use ploughing the
air, or trying to convince man against his
will in matters of no consequence. 1t is use-
less to try to end quarrel by getting mad ov-
er it it is much the same as pouring oil ON a
fire to quench 1t, and blowing Goals with the
bellows to put them out. Some people like
rows--I don't envy their choice I'd rather
walk ten miles to get out of dispute than
half annie to get into one. have often been
told to be bold, andtake the bull by the horns,
but, as | rather think that the amusement is
more pleasant than profitable, shall leave
it to those who are so cracked already that an
ugly poke with horn would not damage their
skulls solomon says, Leave off strife be-
fore it be medded with" which is much the
same as IL he had said, i" Leave off before you
begin" When you see a mad dog, don't ar
que Will Tliu uiitbs Jou dIo nutc VI yout ioS-
ic better get out of his way, and If anybody
calls you coward, you need not call him a
fool--eyerybody knows that Meddling with
quarrels never answers let hornet nests alone
and don't pull down old houses over your own
head. Meddlers are sure to hurt their own
characters if you scrub other peoples pigs,
you will soon need scrubbiug yourself. 1t IL
the height of folly to interfere between man
and his wife, for they will be sure to leave of
fighting each other and turn their whole
strength upon you-and serve you right too
il you will put your spoon into other peoples
y broth, and it scalds you, who is to blame but
yourself?
One thing more, don't attempt to make a
strong headed woman give way, but remem
ber--
"If she will, she will you may depend ont
II she won't, she won't, and there's an end ont"
The other day cut out Of a newspaper
! scrap from America which shall be my tail
piece :--"Dip the Mississippi dry with tea
spoon twist your heel into the toe of you
boot send your fishing hooks with balloons
and fish for stars ; get astride gossamer ant