Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1876-05-13

As woman i and always has been, the
gatekeeper of society, the rules of etiqu-
ette that she lays down must ever be
binding. She makes social laws for her
own protection, interest, and convent
ence, and, since She demands that man
must obey them vigorously, she should
be careful not to violate them herself.
She has declared, and very justly, that
after man has been introduced TO her,
the privilege of continuing or discontin-
uing the acquaintance when next they
meet shall rest entirely with her. 1t is
her right-and her duty, indeed-to re-
cOgnize him on any subsequent occasion
if she wishes to. Unless she does recOg-
nize him, he is to understand that she
fails TO approve him, and the fact, what
ever the cause, must be accepted. He
cannot, with any social propriety, speak
to her, much less inquire the reason of
her quietly ignoring him.
Nothing one would think, could be
better or more generally known than this
rule of etiquette. 1t has been from time
immemorial the canon, written as well
as unwritten. of all good society. Wo-
men seem to be perfectly aware of tit
would be very strange if they were nOs
and yet they are constantly SHINING a
gainst their own ediet. They hold to il,
in theory, and break it in practice. L n
doing what they have done, they put the
responsibility OF their proper transgress-
ion upon the nontransgressor.
Who has not heard them express Inild
surprise because some man who had been
presented to them again and again had
not bowed TO them on meeting them on
the street, at the theatre, or in the draw
ing room?
If you ask them, ''Did you recognize
him 20 they will be apt to reply, "Oh, no /;
of course not He should have spoken
first"
Being reminded of the well-defned ct
iquette bearing on the subject, they are
likely to add:
81 know that very well; but no woman
wants to take the initiative. Men SHOULD
do that; it is their business; it doesn't
belong to us. No one expects us to make
ourselves so bold"
Meanwhile, the offending offender feels
mortified that the surprised, often COM
planning woman or women, have repeat
edly passed him without a sign. What
has he been guilty of, he thinks-what
breach of decorum or good manners p
The cause may lie deeper. She may con
slider him an improper person 10 keep up
acquaintance with. Somebody may,
somebody must, have Detained him to her.
He is sure he has done nothing; but she
must certainly believe he has done some
thing; otherwise she wouldn't refuse to
adult his existence. What can il be?
He nearly makes up his mind to in
quire; he is anxious TO learn, as any SEN
sible person would be under the eircum-
stances, why and in what he been SLAM
dered. But he remembers it is not his
place nor mis- privilege. Etiquette has so
decided; and he holds his peace with a
canker gnawing at his content. While
the woman is surprised and uneasy, he is
troubled and humiliated, and for the
same reasOn-because she deliberately
violates rule which good breeding has
imposed and custom has sanctioned.
This being at crOss-purpOses defeats
the very objects society has in view-9-
greeable intercourse, with exchszsse of
ideas and opinions, between persons of
culture and taste. That such cOntraven-
tiOn to social harmony should be, is an
anomaly; tb2t such prolific source of
misunderstanding and annoyance should
bc Iostered-fOr il is fOstered-is really
amazing.
There is no need to point out the excel
lence. the advantage Of the rule of eti-
quete as il at present stands. Women
made it, and favor il in all instances
where their own personality is not in
vOlved. They should either favor it, and
act upon it there, likeEise, OF abrogate
it altOgether-therei is no mediGm ground.
Under existing circumstances, they
wrong and wound men constantly ard
| cause themselves to &c srSyely misuhcNss
stood by cherishing 4 morbid sensibility,
by coddlinga selfish egotism, by practi-
/ cling a manifest injustice. Let the rule
| be strictly followed under all conditions,
so that, when woman does not recOs-
/ nize man after an Introduction, he may
/ clearly understand that she declines to
/ continue his acquaintance, and that, if
I he speak 10 her first, he must be set down
/ either as aa impairment cOXeOmb, or as
/ a person ignorant of the laws governing
/ good society,
JUNIUs HENRI BROWN.