The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1876-11-29
In "a I'm orS OF the DaY,

Bellies" call great many people to
church.
a trying moment-when your coat
comes home from the tailors.
"Pitchy darkness" has been so i'm
proved as to read ''bituminous obscurity."
Raising the wind" is now denominatsd
more classically, Exciting the financial
Eolus."
A woman lately made pound Of but
ter from the cream of a joke, and a cheese
from the milk of human kindness.
During an examination, medical
student beng asked the question,
"When does modification set in?7 re-
Piled, When you pop the question and
are answered, "NO."
The very last curiosity spoken of in
the papers is wheel that came off
dogs tail when it was a-waggin'' The
man who discovered it has retired from
public life
"Why don't you ask your sweetheart
to marry you? ?"
Il have asked her
"What did she say?"
''5 = ANfS ttC ASlhsol VI HNA'
A reverend divine, who was a $3.50
preacher, being called upon accidently
for IA sermon, asked friend what he
should preach about; to which the other
cooliy replied, "About five minutes.
A prudent man advised his drunken
servant to put up his money for rainy
day. In few weeks his master inquir-
ed how much lie had saved. Faith,
none at all, said he; cit rained yester-
day, and it all went"
A close-fsted man invited friend to
dinner, and provided only two mutton
chops. Upon removing the cover he
said, Only friend, we have Lenten en-
tertainment you see your dinner before
you" Taking the two chops upon
his own plate, his friend replied, Eyes. |
but where is your dinner"
An Irishman got out Of the cars at a
railway station for refreshments, but un-
fortunately the bell rang and the train |
left before he had finished his repast. |
" Hould on !" cried Pat, as he ran like a
after the cars "hould on, we |
mutherin Guild stame ingin-yev'e got
passenger aboard that's left behind -
A physician who lived in London Wis
tied lady who resided in Chelsea. AT |
ter continuing his visits for some time |
the lady expressed an apprehension that |
it might be inconvenient for him to come |
50 far on her account. ooh, by no |
means" replied the doctor; 81 have an
other patient in the neighborhood, and ! |
always set out hoping to kill two birds
with one stone.
ADAM DEFINED. A Scotchman, be /
ing examined by his minister, was asked,
t'What kind of a man was Adam >"
''Oh, iist like ither folk" The minister
on having more special descrip
ton Of the first man, and pressed for
more explanation. ''Weel, said the
che was jist like Joe Simp
son, the horse-oouper. How SO"
asked the minister, "Weel, naebody got
ony thing by him, and many lost"
A subscription paper circulated for
some charitable purpose, was presented
10 a wealthy French manufacturer, who
subscribed twenty francs. Twenty
francs" said the lady who presented the
list to him. ''why, you ought to be
Of yourself Your son has sub
lcribed fifty francs" THAT is all very
we'll" replied the manufacturer nay
'on has rich father. and can afford to
give more than l, who shall not inherit
my thing"
A party of young men were telling
what they would do were they ship
wrecked out at sea, and left bufeting
With the waves without plank to sustain
hem. Each one gave his opinion, ex
,epting Paddy Murphy. who, when asked
or his, replied Dad cess to ye for a
,owardly set of spalpeens, yed all be
4fthur savin' yerselves, an not thryin' to
ave anuther. Why, it's Paddy Murphy
hat would swim to shore an save him
elf, an thin come back an thry to save
lnuther"