New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1876-10-22

Simon StrlDger was bluff old farm&
, He pr1ded himself upon being plain. mn
| ter-of-fact man, about whom there was n
foolishness or sentiment. On more thu
one occasion he had mortified Ills wife and
daughters by hustliDg them out OF religion
meetings when they had begun to SNOW
signs of emotion. He said he didn't bellows
in ''mirakerlOus conversions" and that peo-
pie who cried and yelped over getting ne
ligion wasn't gettin' it by burned eight
He believed that the genuine article Wa
soothing and calming, and not exciting N
| its influence.
Once:the Complexities held protractH
meeting IN bis neig Oh borhood, and as it wM
carried ON without any sudden outbursh
| of feeling. Simon took kindly to it, and at
tended regularly. On Sunday morning b
told his wife to lay him out two suits d
clothes.
why, Simon" exclaimed she in hs
shrill tones, 'whstever do you want viii
two suits OF clOthes"
That's my business-not yours" be N
piled gruff1y. "You lay out my black sut
for me to put or, and wrap the brown a.
up in q bundle, and don't AJAX any fod
questions"
His wife wonderingly but silently cor
piled, and Simon donned one suit, and viii
the other under his arm, mounted his hon
and rode away, followed by the anxiou
eyes of the big and little Stringers, NJ
marveled greatly, and said to one anotaG,
"What's dad goin' to do with his t'othx
cl0thes?"
Simon didn't return till supper time. b
took his place at the supper table, VIII
was the usual signal for the family to begh
an onslaught upon the victuals, but on IL
occasion his voice arrested every arm in ID
descent, and for the second time that dg
astOnlshed the Stringers. CHANGING around
the startled circle, he thus delivered him
self:
II want it understood that the head Of
this household has this day been baptized.
tie IS follower of the meek and lowly
Jesus. and the first critter at this table that
dips into any thing afore blessin' is asked
III git snatched bald-headed. Drop yer eyes
We heathen."
The blessing was asked, and the meal
was eaten in silence.
After the chores were done, the Stringen
were stringing off to bed, when the sterl
voice OF the old man again arrested them
and filled their minds with grave fore Z
bodlngs as to what was coming next. Dc /
addressed them as follows:
Come into this room, every devil Of you
and flop down on your knees. 1t is ny
duty as devOut Christian, to have fanny B
worship, and I'll have it, too, and have n
spectful attention, or I'll bust some domat
tic ties asunder. This mansion must r.
sound with praises to the Most High, or \ +
will resound with some one gittin' q hell q L
q thrashin'-I mean bein' severely chastised 4
The first one who smokers, or makes any e
onseemly noise, I'll git up and throw chee h
through him, or her, as the case may b. b
Let us pray"
The prayer was prayed, and never W
there more attentive audience.
This sort of thing continued about tve +
weeks, and the Stringer Family was kept y h
state OF extreme misery. The young9 Z
members had been several times severely &
whipped for conduct unbeconing the OIL
aren OF . true believer, and the older a.
aad received such harsh reprimands =
falling to fall into the new order Of thing
md cOmport themselves with due dign1g
Then one morning Simon came in, WITH
oso limp, . battered milk pail, and y
1nee OF his pants torn. Dropping into :
,nalr at the table, he plunged his fork I'M &
me nearest dish. The children looked " Z
rom the backs of their plates, questef
;n;gly, and their mother squeaked, "wsh I
"Shut up. and eat, he growled, and ii"
n few moments added:
This blessin' and prayer business 10 c1f
'ended fur awhile. don't forgit my oe@
cations an duties as . Christian, an X
esoom EN- arter I've conquered that det
Hinged red heifer. The 'tarnal critter pr I
ooms too much on my Christian furbea l
nee. Durn hypocrite! won't Ply !
when my soul amt into it. It's too gress
tram. Fur the time bein' l how desceno
rom grace. Pass the tomattusses."
A sigh of relief went round the clfon
md IT the red heifer had known how =
iad risen in the esteem Of majority Of
'trlngers her fractions soul would hsw
capped tor Joy.
That was several years ago, and now
90 heifer is COW, and the worst one N ~
The Stringers say, - ~
nnch and plague her, "'Slong's We
Did Red wild dad won't git any moFss
hat awful relijun."-Brunsioiek Ns'ss. =
The gem can not be polished without -
ion, nor man perfected without adveIRU
E affection.