Connecticut western news., 1876-06-02
Items of Interest.

Items of Interest.
 A dollar does not go as far as it used to, but it goes much quicker.
 Economy don't consist in saving in. discriminatory, putin savingiudiciously.
 When parents yield up their daugh- ters in marriage they do it with miss givings.
 Under the new time table, the run by rail between New Orleans and New York is reduced to sixty-two hours.
 Citizens of Halsey, Oregon, offer @ bonus of $4,000 to any one who will erect flour mill in the town.
 Landlord, didn't you ever have a gentleman stop with you before 2" "Are you gentlman2" " Yes, I am." "Then I never had one stop with me before." Talking at table is one of the very be..t digesters; there is no tonic known to equal it, as it is of the kind calcu- lated to promote hilarlty and good feel ing generally. ..4 An examination of a large lake re- gently discovered some forty miles west of Laramie, w. T., disclosed 8 thick layer of sulphate of magnesia in pure | state at the bottom.
 A Philadelphia paper attempted to print an editorial on Bigotry but the types forbade and it began "Slowly 4 but surely, Bigorry is being hemmed in and beaten in this city"
 Mrs. Mella Dodd, of Bowling Green, Ky, 116 years old, is going to the Gen. tennial to see if she can keep her daugh- ters-two girls of eighty-thrce and ninety-four-out of mischief.
 Gov. Ingerson reports the school fund of Connecticut to be $2,043, ,960. 91, of which more than one-half is invested in safe mortgages upon real estate.
 A landlady in Nashville boarding house finds it necessary to post up the following notice, which leaves margin for meditation: "Don't fool with the girls while they arc lighting t' @ coal oil lamps"
 Daniel Fender concluded a letter. asking Mary to be his, thus "And should you say 'yes,' dear Mary, will ever and faithfully be your D. Fender" Daniel thought that was neat, and SO did Mary. H ..r n
 The girl who can put square patch on a pair of pantaloons may not be SC accomplished as one who can embroider and work green worsted dogs on blue ground, but she will be more useful at the head of large family.
 Working women in France on an av- craze earn but little more than half the wages earned by men. M. de Foville writes that to place women on footing of equality with men they ought to earn at least two-thirds as much.
 "John, what is the past of see G' "Seen, sir." "No, 1t is saw" Recol- lect that" "Yes, sir. Then if sea fish swims by me, it becomes saw fish when it is past, and can't be seen." "You may go home, John."
 "When women make bread" said Quiz, moralizing over an underdone bis cult at the breakfast table" When women make bread, curious phenome- non often results; you find a little dear bringing forth a little dough-"
 A lady writer in the Philadelphia Item perpetrates the following Women never &ruly command until they have given their promise to obey; and they are never in more danger of being made slaves than when the men are at their feet.
 Fond mamma about to get into car riage to small boy in the house door "Now, Freddie, are you not going to kiss me2" Freddie-"I haven't time to confe down, mamma. (To footman)- John, you kiss mamma for me-" CTa- bleau.)
 The Royal National Lifeboat Institu- tion of England has 954 boats, and has saved 727 lives during the last year SIG, 500 have been granted as rewards for saving life. The receipts during the year were $199, and the expenses $197, ,475.
 When Marc Anthony threw himself upon the "dear remains of his loved Caesar, in Pittsburgh theater the other evening, he struck tho " corpse fair in the stomach, which had the effect of doubling it up with a grunt, that rather detracted from the solemnity of the oc- casion.
 A young man in western Wisconsin, who was about to be married the other day, suddenly remembered that he hadn't fed his horse, and the ceremony had to wait until the hor 0 had been cared for. He explained that good horse couldn't be found every day, while thirteen different girls wanted to marry him.
 There was French singer with tre- mendous voice, who could not discover .. what line in art he was best fttG for. He went to Cherubini, who told him to , sing. He sang, and the foundation trembled. "Well," he said, when he had finished, illustrious master, what shall I becomea' "An auctioneer," said Cherubini.
 During the Mexican war one of the l generals came up to Captain Bragg and 2 said Captain, the crisis has arrived, fire l" Whereupon Captain Bragg said to his lieutenant |" You hear what the general says-fre p The lieutenant said "But, captain, don see any thing to fire at l" Fire at the crisis l" ; said Captain Bragg.
 Dr. John l.. Phull, of St. Louis, re- !, gently issued the following remarkable certificate: "This is to certify that , Emma Cunningham came to her death , by having in attendance on her dulit g her sickness of galloping consumption, , Dr. John Willard, and the said Dr. ' John Willard galloped tho said Emma Cunningham into eternity at tho rate of 2:4O speed, and may the good Lord have mercy on her poor soul"