The Russellville Democrat., 1876-06-08
A Racy Stump Speech.

lse TIE 10 gIye you warning and make a political speech, and tel you what I am going to talk about and aiIade to Now would like to hare you pay Iartlc ular attention, as the preacher ssys, when the boys are Tipping beans IL his nose.
 l say that crisis has arrived the wheels of the government are stopped-tise ruddcr is uHshiDpesl
 -tIle biler busted-and we are atioat and the river rising. Our glorious ship of State, that like a bob-tailed gander has so peace fully glided adown the current time, has had its harmony dis turbed and is now drifting with fearful rapidity toward the shoals and quicksands of disunion, { threatening to burst everything into flinders. and pick itself up in the end q gone gosling. Hear ken no longer, ye worthy deRizens of Goose Holler, Tarrapin Neck, Possum Swamp and adjacent re- gi0ns, to the siren voice that whispers in your ears the too de lusive sound of peace, peace. For peace has slopesl, an.l flowed to other lands, or div to tine bottom of the mighty deep, or, in the em- phatic language of Tecumphso- run:
 '-Coae hiekcrizg through the frogs of other cliSne--
 { To aid the miner watcher in his sismes-'' Or like the great Alexander, who, at the battle of Hurkcr's $ Bill, in the agony of despair frantically shricked out: 70, gravy, peace has gone like my school boy days, and I don't care a--" He was q whole hoss and team. sure.
 Ladies and gentlemen: The great bird of America has flown aleft, and soaring on the wings of [ the aurora borealis, is now hover ing high above the cloud-capped peaks of the Boston mountains; {; and when he shall have penetrat- ed into the unknown regions Of unlimited space, and then shall have stopped down and lit upon daddy's wood pile; l shall be led to exclaim in the language of Paul, the hostler, root, hog, or die"
 Fellow-citizens, and gals too In our halls of legislation, confu- sion reigns supremest; rise I'D, then, like perkers in tatcr patch, fall into ranks, sound the tocsin, blow the drum, and beat the tin horn, untIl..t the startled echoes, re- vercerating from hill top to hill top, and from gopher hill to go- pher hill, shall reach the adamau- tine hills of New England and the ferruginious disporitions of Missouri, and the auriferous par ticles of California, to pick up their ears, and, in whispered ac- cents inquire, what in thunder is out?''
 Fellow citizens and the vim min: l repeat it, to your posts l; and from the top of the Darda- nelle Rock bId defiance to the whole earth by hollowing "who's afraid in such laundering tones that, quaking with fear, you will forget what danger is. Don your rusty regimentals, wipe the fiints of your old guns beat up your scythes and make swords of them, put on your hunting shirts, and either save the nation or bust.
 My dear hearers and the rest of the boys: Time is critical. and every man that has got soul as big as the white of a colored per sons eye will fight, bleed and die | lOi lliS SOulblN J.
 These are the times you want men in the councils of the nation that you can depend on. That s me. Elect me to Congress and I'll stick to you through thick and thin, like a lean tick to a niggers skin. You. all know me; i; I've been brought up among you. Already on the wings of top Tilted imagination,l l imagine 1 can see you marching up to the polls Tn solid phalanx, and with shouts that make the earth ring, hurrah for John Smith come down on my opponent like thousand brick on a rotten plank.
 But my devoted constituency, I'm not going to make an cleo. tioneering speech. l would scorn the act from the lowest depth of my watch fob. Words are made quate to fully portray my feelings toward you and my love for office. All l ask is your votes, and leave everything else with the people. l conclude in the touching words of that glorious old martyr in the wax figure business, ''Be yirtuous and you will be happy"