The Arizona sentinel., 1876-02-12
An Hour at the Central Sation Court
CLOSING TT OVER.

full of brushes and bottles. He said he was. "Well, I suppose you can var nish your statatement of whal happened last night" continued the court. "They found you drunk, and now let me see you gloss it over and shine it up."
 "Well, sir, I sat down and went to sleep, and that's all there was of it." answered the man.
 "TOo many coats of varnish there," smiled his Honor. "1 have been here so long that I can tell when a mans been drunk just as easily as you could see 8 ring in the mOOn."
 Cant I leave this town?" ask ed the prisoner.
 "You can, but not just yet. The roads are bad, the days are short, and 1t looks like rain. So you de- ny the charge, do you?" "Mister Judge" said the pris- oner, as he stepped back, "don't I know when I get drunk as we'll as you do?"
 "This court never stops business to discuss the Darwinian theory" was the cold reply. II say you were drunk!"
 "Sure?"
 "Why, I know it. See the straw in you hair-the mud on your back-the general wild look on yonr eyes,"
 "WeIl, if you say I was drunk I'll give in," said the prisoner. Make 1t about ninety days"
 And those were the chalk marks.
 ABOUT A GOAT.
 "Well, gentlemen, you mauled each other and thereby disturbed the peace and were escorted down here?" inquired his honor of a pair of citizens brought out in convention.
 Judge" answered the taller one, eff you owned a goat and 8 man clubbed that goat wouldn't you club that man?"
 Judge, ifyOu had children and a goat knocked lem over, would mt you club that goatw asked the short one.
 "A goat made this trouble, did he?"
 "Yes'r," they choroused.
 "Now, do either one of you know anything about a goat? Is a goat a carniverOus or an amphi- bi0us animal?"
 "He butts," answered one.
 "He don't either," added the other.
 "Does a goat belong to the anil nal or vegetable kingdomw con. tinued the court.
 1T know he knocks children down." ventured one.
 "I know he don'tw said the other.
 "Ah! lack a day" sighed his Honor. Here you are, both re- spectable men, near neighbors, supposed to be intelligent, and you fight over a goat and can't even class him where he belongs! I'll fine you five dollars each for your ignorance and throw in the black eyes and bitten ears as bargain"
 "About the goat?" asked one.
 "The goat won't hurt you," put in the other.
 "Gentlemen, the goat is not here. He hasn't been arrested even, and I decline to render an opinion. I could go on and go it over thirty pages of foolscap, but one of you would still own the goat and the other would have his five children. Pay your fines and go."
 THE BLOOM OF YOUTH.
 "Bub," said his Honor to a pig my who wiped his eyes before the derk, "take heed of what I say remember my words as long as you live. Don't throw rocks at people. If you must hit folks, hit lem with potatoes or apples. Years ago a bad boy hit me on the neck with a rock. No one can tell what influence that con- cussion had on my fortune. No one can tell what influence I would have had on that boys for. tune if l could have overhauleo him."
 I didn't mean to!" walled the boy"
 "WelI, go and do better. You may as we'll be training yourself for Governor as to be raising con- tusions on pedestrians heads. Suppose I threw a rock at you?"
 "pd dodgep sighed the boy.
 Bjah lodged him out, accom- panied by applause, and the court at that moment adjourned.-De. trOH Free Press.
 "What can I do to make you love me more ?" asked 8 youth of his girl, the other evening. "Buy