The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-03-16
"a MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
lis i proper to cali an opera-glass a
suw-milll
-Fools don't know their strength; if
they did, they would keep still. @
=, Virginia sneezes over the fact that the
consumption of snuff is increasing.
There is gold in Alaska. And like
wise in the moon. The thing 10 to get it.
"A Nashville paper tells Of fly that
scorched its feet by alighting on rival
EDITORS nose.
Black silks are now made without
are softest are most preferred.
jersey City has population of 49,
600, and five per cent. of the popu lation
are paupers, or one In every twenty.
MIR. John Sprague, of Aroostook
County, Me-, has killed ninety nine bears,
and is anxious to kill one more to make
up the hundred.
The latest definition Of lover il a
man with whom one woman deceives
another, with whom she deceives herself,
and whom she deceives.
-Keeley says it wasn't an explosion.
but merely the flying out of plug. His
neighbors say if that was plug, he can
keep his explosions for all they care.
The day has come when an American
capitalist is not ashamed to walk into a
tobacco store and ask for five cent cigar,
This was all the country was waiting for.
Born in Germany, raised and de-
PRAYED in Brooklyn, partly reformed in
st. Louis, MORALLY ruined again abroad.
Exit dynamite fiend.-St. Louis Repubii.
can.
The little Mexican revolution may re.
suit in sorce ones getting hurt. The news
is that the soldiers of the opposing forces
can see each other by the aid of spy.
glasses.
"A young man at Nashville killed him
self because he could not get another
mans wife. 1t is terrible to love some
body and see them washing windows for
another man.
"A boy baby in Buena Vista, Ca, has
a mother, grandmother, and great-grand
mother living in the same house with it.
The happy father of the child is we'll pro-
vided with mothers in law.
Amid the cares and perplcxities of
life there are few things that will make a
man carry his head so straight as to have
a ragged neck binding on his shirt, with
plenty of starch ON it we'll ironed in.
1t is a joke in California to fill cigars
with powder and give them away. A
very good return joke is to put a little
cartridge in little pistol and shoot the
chap who commenced the amusement.
"A little boy few days since, while
coming down stairs, was cautioned by his
mother not to lose his balance. His ques-
ton which followed was puzzle:
" Mother. if was to lose ny balance
where would il go to?"
An old negro informed an emigration
agent at Columbus, Ga, few days since,
that fright here I'm gwine ter stay, if de
Lord spares me. When l dies l wants ter
have stomich spang fullo bread an meat,
an [ wants ter be berried in a seminary
whar I'm quainted with der folks"
The London Dramatic Neus says that
at the elephant hunt of the Prince Of
Wales in Ceylon no reporters were per-
mitted to be present; but one enterprising
"special' shaved his head, painted his
body black, put string around his waist,
and joined the heaters. He wasn't to be
beaten.
The French sardine packers have of
late years palmed off spurious fish, such
as sprats, mackerel and even more CON-
mon species, to such an extent that the
consumption has largely fallen off, and
measures are to be taken to restore the
business by honest dealing. The United
States are the greatest consumers Of sar-
dimes.
I'm most American cities it is never so
difficult to know where street is as when
you are in it, Every corner house should,
by legislative enactment, bear the names
of both adjacent streets. Beside this, ev-
cry mercantile firm would find it to its adj
vantage to have the name of the street and
number of the house, in one word its full
address, written on its sign board.-Neao
and Old.
1T seems incredible that extra in
ducements should be held out any where
in the world to persuade men to remain
in office yet in the municipality of Scaufs,
Switzerland, which possesses a consider
able area of woodland, the proper care of
which is entrusted to forester, the an.
nual salary of that officer was recently
increased upon condition of his continu-
ing in office for period of not less than
three years.
The Pail Mall Gazette says of the
American girl in England: "Like the
wind, she goeth where she listeth, but
every man knoweth whence she cometh.
She arouses the hostility of English ma
irons the moment she sets foot on British
soil. Few of them are aware that she has
been purposely trained to self-reliance and
self assertion, like her brother, from in
fancy. Such training shows itself in
her manner, which CRATES as harshly on
British feelings as her voice too often does
on British ears"
Blessed is the man who knows enough
to keep his mouth shut. Some people
live sixty years without learning the art.
Indeed, the older they grow the wider
their mouths open. A man or woman
who is gabbler at forty five is dread
full affection to house, or church, or
community. There are two things this
age needs to learn-when to say nothing,
and when it says anything to say it we'll.
If any man among you seem to he re-
ligious, and bridleth not his tongue, this
mans religion is vain."-Golden Rule.
The other night a seedy, care-worn
individual seated himself on horse
block in front of this establishment. and
burying his face in his red hands,
moaned: money air tight-m-i-g h-t-y
tight. Dogged ef money 6ain't been tight
right along for nigh onto three years.
She's maxim mernoperly of the bust
ness, shore. Now eff l could ketch up
with money Id 60 on tight with her,
but as Spokeshire says, aye, thar's the
ratification The difference between me
and money air these: when I get tight
they lock me up-when they lock money
up she gets tight. That's the way it
stands, shore. "-Faanklin (Ky.) Patriot.
The will of the late millionaire, David
Snow, of Boston, contains suggestions or
value to his devisees and to the public.
In the closing article of the testament he