American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-02-05
A LITERARY NIGHTMARE.


over the following verses, and see if he
can discover anything harmful in them
Conductor. when You receive fare,
Punch in the presence Of the passenjarei
blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,
A bna friP slip for six-cent fare,
A pink trip clip for three-cent fare.
Punch In the presence OF the passenjare!
cHoRUs-
Punch brothersi pu4 Oh with carcl
Punch in the presence OF the passenjarei
came across these jingling rhymes in
. newspaper, little while ago, and read
them q couple of times. They took in
slant and entire possession of me. All
through breakfast they went waltzing
through my brain; and when, at last, l
rolled up my napkin, could not tell
whether had eaten anything or not.
had carefully laid out my days work
the day befOre-a thrilling tragedy in the
novel which am writing. l went to my
den to begin my deed of blood l took
up my pen, but all could get it to say
was: Punch in the presence of the pas
senjare-" I fought hard for an hour, but
it was useless My head kept humming,
" A blue trip slip for an eight cent fare; a
buff trip slip for six-cent fare," and SO
on and SO on, without peace or respite.
The days work was ruined-I could see
that plainly enough. l gave up and
drifted down town, and presently discov-
cred that my feet were keeping time to
that relentless jingle. When l could
stand it no longer, altered my step. But
il did no good; those rhymes accommo-
dated themselves to the new step and went
on narrassing me just as before. re-
turned home aud suffered all the after
noon; suffered all through an unconscious
and Undertaking dinner; suffered and
cried, and jingled all through the even
ing; went to bed and rolled, tossed and
jingled right along the same as ever; got
up at midnight frantic, and tried to read !;
but there was nothing visible on the
whirling page except "Punchi punch in
the presence of the passenjare." By sun
rise was out Of my mind, and every
body marvelcd and was distressed at the
idiotic burden Of my rawlings Punch!
oh, punch! punch in the presence of the
passenjare.n
Two days later on Saturday morning I
arose, lettering wreck, and went forth
TO fulfill an engagement with valued
friend, the Rev. Mr. to walk to the
Talcott Tower, ten miles distant. He
stared at me, but asked no questions.
We started. Mr.. - talked, talked,
talked--as is his wont. said nothing !;
1 heard nothing. At the end Of mile
Mr.. - said:
Mark, are you sick? l never saw a
man look SO haggard and worn and alb
sentminded. Say something, dor'
Drearily, without enthusiasm, said
Punch, brothers, punch with care!
Punch in the presence of the passenjarer'
My friend eyed me blankly, looked per-
picked, then said:
/" do not think get your drift, Mark.
There does not seem to be any relevancy
in what you have said, certainly nothing
said the words-I never heard anything
that sounded SO pathetic. What is''=
But l heard no more. was already far
away with my pitiless, heart-breaking
:" blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, buff
trip slip for six-cent fare, pink trip slip
for tliree-cent fare; punch in the pres
ence Of the passenjare." do not know
what occurred during the other nine
miles. However, all of a sudden, Mr.
laid his hand on my shoulder and
shouted:
"Oh, wake up, wake upl wake IN,
Don't sleep all day, Here we are at the
Tower, mani / have talked myself deaf
and dumb and blind, and never got a re-
sponse- just look at this magnificent
autumn landscapei Look at il look at it
Feast your eyes on i'll YOuhave travelled !;
you have seen boosted lands capes else
where. Come, now, deliver an honest
opinion What do you say to this ~
1 sighed wearily and murmured:
Jun sip q clA-Ccut
punch IN the presence of the passenjarcr'
Rev. MIR. - stood there, very grave,
full OF concern, apparently, and looked
long at me; then he said:
Mark, there is something about this
that l cannot understand Those are
about the same words you said before
there does not seem TO be anything in
them, and yet they nearly break my heart
when You say them. Punch in the-how
is it they goy'
/ iegan at the beginning and repeated
all the lines. My friends face lighted
with interest," He said:
why, what captivating jingle it is,
1t is almost music. 1t flows along SO
nicely / have nearly caught the rhymes
myself Say them over just once more,
and then I'll have them, sure"
/ said them over. Then Mr.. said
them He made one little mistake, which
/ corrected. The next time and the next
he got them right Now a great burden
seemed to tumble from my shoulders.
That torturing jingle departed out of my
brain, and grateful sense of rest and
peace descended upon me. / was light
hearted enough to sing; and 1 did sing
for half an hour, straight along, as we
went jogging homeward- Then my freed