The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-01-06
orient. The crew were called to quar-


ant incident, ''Some slight confusion
occurred, many Of the crew having only
just joined, and not thoroughly knowing
their station. One would imagine they
should have been thoroughly taught
their stations before the ship left her
moorings. However, in short time
the pumps were rugged, and the water
tight compartments, which worked we'll,
were all closed. Here comts another
staggering fact. It has been always be-
lieved that water-tight compartment
ships will, even i. one compartment fill,
be kept floating by the others for days.
The loss of the Vanguard was explained
by the difficulty of closing one of the
water-tight doors; but in the case OF the
Iron Duke, where all the doors were
quickly closed. the vessel continued to
fill precisely at the rate the Vanguard
did the water gaining rapidly upon him,
the Captain of the Iron Duke set to work
to announce his condition to the ships
lying near and te the dock-yard officials
on shore, He ordered that distress sig
nails should be fired, whereupon it was
discovered that there was not an ounce
of powder on board! The Captain then
m de the signal Sinking" to the Black
Prince, lying in the sound, but her look
out did not see the signal for quarter
of an hour. The dock-yard was then
communicated with by signal, and pre-
parations made 10 succor she sinking
vessel. At this stage. however, some
unknown sailor discovered the open
valve, and up to his waist in the rushing
waters succeeded in closing it. The dis
cOvery was made in the nick of time,
for in few moments more all would
have been over with the Iron Duke.
The orifice closed, of course the ship
was easily pumped dry, and she steamed
back to her moorings in the Sound, hav-
ing contributed another thorn to the I'M
easy pillow of the First Lord of the Ad-
miralty.
AN OFFICIAL JOKE.
SCENE-A Board Room in Whitehall.
NuUal Lords in Council.
A Naval Lord.-Ha! ha! ha! The best
things have heard for years. Ha! ha!
ha! You will be the death Of me!
Another Naval Lord.-We have had a
fine time of it, Ha! ha! ha! (Roars of
sympathetic laughter from other Naval
Lords)
Enter Mr.. Punch.
Mr.. Punch.-I beg your pardon-per-
h2ps you are busy.
A Naval LOrd.-Not at all, my dear
Sir, not at all. We have nothing par
ticular to do at this moment, tor won
der
Another Naval Lord say. tell him
taat good story-you know. the one
about the Niggers. Now, do. 1t will
make him roar.
Other Naval Lords Ito Mr.. Punch) -
The funniest thing you ever heard. Ha.
ha! ha!
Mr.. Punch-Perhaps it was reported
in the papers,
A Naval Lord don't know. Why,
bless you, my dear sir, we never read
the papers. But there, l will tell you
the story, and if it doesn't make you
shrek, WE'LL was talking 10 these tel.
lows about the affair on the Solent. One
Of our ships ran down a yacht. don, you
know, caused a couple OF inquests. and
then we said that the matter wasn't OF
sufficient importance to call for an Off
eial investigation. Wasn't that good?
Ha! hal ha! Eh9
Other Naval Lolds.-Ha. ha! ha! Eth?
Mr.. Punch Hum!
a Naval Lord What! 1t don't make
you laugh! Well. here's another story
We got a Paymaster (on full pay to
He was u barrister, don't you know, and
he drew up such u circular! He said
that captains commanding Her Males
tvs ships must give up fugitive slaves
seeking freedom under the shadow OF
the Union Jack! Well, We ST Mt it out,
ADD it made such u row! Ha! ha! ha!
Other Naval Lords.-Ha! ha! hal
Good, Ell?
Mr. Punch.-Hum!
A Naval Lord.-Why. that don make
you laugh, either! How dull you are.
Another Naval Lord.-Tell him about
that ship-what was her name? The
one you know we put in this months
Navy List with q note saying she was at
the bottom of the sea- Ha! ha! ha!
A Nava, Lord.--You mean the Van
guard.
Another Naval Lord.-That's it. Ha!
ha! ha! The Vanguard. (To Mr..
Punch. Now this wiH make you roar.
A Naval Lord.-Well. Sir. a squadron
Of ironclads went into . fog. by order OF
the Admiral in command. at full speed!
Funny notion. wasn't it? Ha. ha! ha!
Well, one OF the ships. having no fog
signal. Ia capital joke that was, too
wasn't i,?1 ran into another ship. and
ha! ha! ha!-ship No. Two went to the
bottom! Wasn't that joke? Ha! ha!
Other Naval Lords-Ha! ha! ha! go on
A Naval Lord with difficulty sup
pressing his merriment). We'll, sir, of
course. there was q Court Martial. and
the verdict was ''gnilty" against the
captain OF ship No. and (as rider)
guilty against the captain of ship No.
II. and guilty against the admiral in
command OF the squadron. And what
do you think we dida Ha, hal ha! You
will never guess
Another Naval Lord (shrieking with
laughter Tell him. tell him!
4 Naval Lord-Why, sir. we did
nothing. Now. wasn't that joke? Ha.
b.f ~ waSp,Y that n inka3