The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-06-30

Mrs. Porrs's DIssIPATED HUSBAND
One night during the recent troubles in the
Pennsylvania coal regions Judge Potts's !
brother, Thomas Potts, was round at meet |
ing of mine owners, and after the adjourn
ment he stepped into tavern. While there
he met some friends, and in the course of an
hour or two he got very intoxicated. On
his way home he lost his hat, and miner
who knew him, feeling compassion for him,
clapped on his head a miners hat, and in
order to make the dark street look brighter
he lighted the lamp in front of the hat,
When Potts reached the house his wife had
gone to bed and the lights were out, but he
felt certain that the lamp was burning IN the
hall burning in the hall, but he could not
for the life of him tell where it was. He
looked at the regular lamp and it seemed to
be OUT then hunted in every direction for
the light, but he was unable to lind 1t, al
though it seemed to shine brightly wherever
he went. Presently he happened to stop in
front of the mirror in the hut rack, und then
he saw precisely where the light was. After
a brief oburgation upon Mrs. Potts for leay-
light in such place. he went up to the
mirror and tried to blow it out. He blew
and blew, but somehow the lame burned as
teadily as before.
"That" said Potts, "is the most extraOr'
nary lamps ever been my misfortune to en-
counter. Then he took off his coat, and
holding it in front of him crept cautiously
lid TO the mirror and tried to brush the coat
over the lamp, which still burned brightly,
He said:
"Thats cer'ingly very eXtro'nary m OF
'stonishin' circumstanz ever come un'er my
ohzervation. Don'no how t'account for it p
1t occurred to him that perhaps he might
smash the lamp with an umbrella. Seizing
the weapon he went up to the hat rack, and
aiming terrible blow at the light he brought
the umbrella down. lie missed and smash
ed his Sunday hat into chaos. lie took aim
| again and caught the umbrella in the lamp
| overhead, bringing it down with crash.
Then he tried third time, and plunged the
ferrule of the umbrella through the mirror,
| SMASHING IL W hN iNi' N@NN'N"''' 'N' =
moment as the light disappeared, but he was
perplexed to find there was another light
some where. he did not know exactly where
So he sat down on the stairs and remarked ;
"Moz 'stonishin' circumstana ever come
un'er my observation, Whaten thunder doz
it mean, an'how? Lights gone, an yet it 5
shinin'! Perfectly incompre 'nsible !
wish tgracious Mrs. Potts d wake up an
splain it. Durn # know what had better
do"
Then Potts took of his hat to scratch his
head in the hope that he might scare up an
idea, and the truth flashed upon him. Gaz
ing at the lamp for mcmentu until he drank
in full conception of the trouble it hac
caused him, he suddenly smashed it dow
ON the floor in rage, and extinguished j
after covering two yards Of carpet will
grease. Then he went to bed, and in tn
morning Mrs. Potts informed him that som
I of those awful miners had broken into th
, house the night before and left one of thei
) hats with lamp. Potts turned over in be
l 70 that she could not see his face, and said
| The sitIn hand Of The Law NasDt laid npn
D ihose niEaHs s0On ADbtdy's iiie "oaio 3
] safe.