The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-05-27
VARIETY.

Crying evils-Babies.
The limbs of charity-Alms for the poor.
The man who always visits people after sickness,
is the doctors bill.
Weston, the 80 walkist > is said to be very poor
not able to '' foot " his bills.
The Punch man notices that the baldheaded
comb their leads with towels.
Henry Clews says he isn't really bald-headed.
If not, he certainly parts his hair very wide in
the middle.
An old gentleman Who went to meet two pret-
ty neces for whom he was legal guardian told
his wife he was going to ward meeting.
man was scalded to death by boiler cx-
plosion, and on his tombstone was chiseed-
- Sacred to the memory of our Steamed friend. -
The celebrated English physician Lettsom
being accused of want of care in certain case
under his treatment replied:
physicks bleeds and 'em;
ia II after tbs. that they choose to die
Lettsom.
1t is said that the human body contains over
two pounds of lime. This makes it easy for q
Congressional committee to whitewash govern
ment official
A lecture entitled 50 All About the Devil - had
audience of only thirteen persons in Richmond.
The balance of the populace thought they couldn't
learn anything new.
Some funny Democrats have made ticket
with the names of Thomas A. Hendricks and
jeremiah S. Black. The battle cry will be ''Tom
and Jerry.''-N. o. Republican.
Two hundred and sixty-three years ago Sir
Henry Walton said in n letter TO friend " An |
ambassador is an honest man sent to lie abroad |
for the good of the Commonwealth"
NISErEENrm observation-disclosures" My boy. |
81, r
and forsake the frivolous delights of immature |
years" Son. Say, mother, go and sit down on
yourself, won't you?'
\ man who can sit with his feet in hot water
and yard of red flannel around his throat, and
not feel the sweet influence of spring, is dead to
subtle instincts which link humanity to nature.
Syracuse Journal
In q suit for assault and battery a medical
witness testified that the complainant had severe
confusion under the left orbit and echymosis with
great extravasation of blood into the surrounding
cellular tissue-I suppose you mean the man
had black eye sir inquired the Judge.
A scientist says Eventually, as our globe
contracts, there will OILY be thirteen days in
year." Those who expected to give
their wives costly presents every Christmas will
regret this contraction. And how young
lady will become an old maid, too ,-NorriStolCn
Herald.
u
the rheumatism by carrying raw potato in his
pocket three weeks, and be says he has recon-
mended the remedy to his friends with similar
effects. No one, therefore, should suffer with
rheumatism as long as the potato crop is not
perfect failure. And if one potato will cure a
case of rheumatism in three weeks, of course
twenty-one potatoes will cure the case in
one day-though not many pockets are large
enough to carry that many potatoes.
Herald.
WHERE IT CANE FRoN.-A Detroit girl picked
up a beau the other evening at church, and
when they reached her fathers gate he accepted
her invitation to go in. He was perfumed to
kill, and it wasn't long before his musk reached
the back room in which the old folks sat. The
old man was heard stubbing around muttering :
and growing, and presently he opened the door
and passed out and walked around the house
He came back after snufing around for few
minutes, and pounding on the parlor door he
inquired:
. EVangeIine, where's that piece of candle?'
IS don't know, father why?'' she inquired
in return.
'FThere's a skunk something or other under
the addition, and I've got to hunt him out we
can't live here over night"
The young man didn't stay long after that,