The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-10-17
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FRESH FOREIGN FUN.
Humor Of the Late Paris and London Papers.


A friend of M. de Girardin describes
| him as ga man who rises every day at A
O'Clock to make enemies"
The Judge the other morning asked a
prisoner charged with drunkenness
what he intended to do. He replied
frankly, that he "wasn't his own boss
this morning"
A Radical is discussing the political
situation with Conservative and cries:
"But you must admit, firstly, that we
are in power. Wen, now, leaving
that" ''Precisely," replies the other,
'just leave that-thats all we want you
to do"
A man rushas into stamp-oflice.
"Qulck; apostage stampW
"Of What denomination, sir"
"The cheapest you have"
"But where is the letter to 60 W
sit isn't for any letter; Pve cut my
finger"
"How is it, then, my friend, that while
you say that no one is SO dead a shot as
yourself, you never bag any thing"
"Simply because when | 90 out shoot
ing never pull the trigger"
"Ahl And whyW
"Why, it would be sheer butchery."
On the way home from the famous
banquet of st. Mande three jovial Rad
icals enter railway carriage where al
ready is seated an artillery officer. He
is taking back to Paris a saddle that he
has placed a-straddle on the arm OF a
seat facing him. The Radicals 20 on
talking loudly Of the tyranny of kings
and feudal rights, and make asses of
themselves generally. Suddenly one of
them espies the saddle, and by way OF
adding to the hilarity of the occasion
makes as if he would seat himself on it.
Il beg your pardon" says the officer,
gravely; "that saddle is mine. Ii you
desire to avail yourself of it, get under
it,"
The worthy father presents his son, as
a reward OF merit for his progress at
school, with a handsome gun and allows
the boy to make one ofthe hunting party.
The ingenious youth espies hare, fires
at it, but. horror Of horrors! his father,
who has stopped to pick up bird, rises
at the very moment right in the line of
fire, and is peppered. The boy casts
down his fowling-plece and bursts into
an agony of tears. They console him by
representing that the author OF his being
fortunately wore buckskin breeches and
escaped absolutely unframed. SIT is
not that" sobs the heart broken child;
'.if he hadn't been there I'd have killed
the hareW
The Baron de z. never went to the
crusades. Neither did any ofhis ances-
tors. In TACT, he would be sOrely
nobility.
He has a coachman, as drunken and
as coachmen generally are.
Coming out of the theater the Baron dis |
covers Ihis model servant nodding on |
his box, tipping heavily from side to
side, and main Gaining his equilibrium |
altogether by perpetual miracle.
"W axe up, there; will you?" cries the |
Baron. "You're half drunk"
"Hait drunk?' utters the coachman |
with difficulty. sim whole drunk. Pm
drunk, Pm just as drunk as you ain't a
Baron"
A rich American comes to Paris and |
goesEto one of the great res .aurants on
Lhe Boulevard for breakfast. The bill is
IA francs.
Next morning he goes to the same res
taurant; orders precisely the same |
breakfast, and is charged l6 francs.
He says nothing, but thinks great |
deal, and returning on the third day to
the restaurant gives exactly the same |
order and calls for the bill. This time it |
is IL francs.
This time he can not avoid calling the
attention OF the proprietor to this slngu-
lar occurrence. The proprietor, with
gracious smile, looks at the bill and an
swers blandly;
THAT is easily explained, sir. The
first two bills We're wrong. This onels /
right, but we never make our customers
pay for any mistakes we have maQe."
Look here, young woman, suspend"
from the shoulders or bust. A young
girl in Montreal went home from the ball
The other night, anu when she went to
undress she found she had been laced so
tightly that she couldn't get herself
loose. Overcome by terror and the ter
rIble oonstraint of the what you may
call it, the thing you twist it up with,
she tainted before she could cry tor help.
And when they found her, she was the
ieadest girl you ever read about. Now
n IL. Il 1