The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-09-16
WHY HE WAS ANXIOUS.

I'LL w AAAI ANAN@hhVS1s
Mr.. Robinson went out to the ceme-
terry the day after the interment of his
wife and had an interview with the su-
perintendent.
"What are your regulations in regard
to monuments In this cemetery" asked
Mr.. Robinson.
Well, we hardly have any special
rules. We let people do pretty much as
they please"
You wouldn't make fuss" said
Mr.. Robinson, II q man should put
something original and novel over
grave, now would you? Something cal
culated to attract attention"
No.n.no, | guess not. What have
you in view ?"
Well, you see, Harriet was an un-
common patriotic woman, made socks
for the soldiers during the war, and was
all the time knitting fddle-iad things
for sanitary fairs, and I thought maybe
I'd get her up some kind of red, white
and blue monument, with brass eagle
on top, and the American flag flying
from a pole. Perhaps might put Hail,
Columbia in gilt letters on the stone ON
one side, and q picture of General
Washington holding the Declaration of
Independence in his hand on the other.
How does that strike you 2"
" 1t would be unique, anyhow"
" But what | wanted to see you
about particularly was to know about
the size. Now, would YOU allow me to
make the monument about fifty feet
high of some solid kind of stuff that'd
spread over the ground little piece ?"
"Oh. yes s'pose 50. 1t will be
costly, though"
"Oh, l don't mind cost. What |
want is to get weight in the material
SOS it'll set heavy on the ground and
stay there"
"You must have thought great deal
of Mrs. Robinson to expend so much
money on her."
Well, betwixt you and me that
isn't exactly it. She was ore of those
restless, Uneasy women that never'd
stay quiet when you wanted her tO,and
it occurred to me that maybe something
might happen to resu,citate her, to tell
you the honest truth my idea WAS to
run up some kind of q monument thatd
there, you understand, l don't want
her bustling about, now that she's
slowed away as dead"
You are probably not aware that
we have introduced an alarm here which
connects the vaults with the office, SO
that IL a person returns to life out of a
trance we can at once go to the rescue.
Mrs. Robinson, you know, Is in vault
temporarily"
"You don't mean to say" exclaimed
Robinson, I" that she's got one of the
alarms anywhere near her ?"
Certainly she has"
See here, now, want to say some
thing to you in private. The honest
fact is, Pm about to marry the Widder
Jones, and If l can make any little ar
rangement with you to snip OF that
wire for few days until Mrs. Robin
son is thoroughly dead, it'll be money
in your pocket"
Cant do it, SIR"
Because you see for yourself how
thundering embarrassing it's going tt
be il the old lady should come to ant
begin to stir around just after me ant
Now wouldn't it ? Look at it in com
mon sense light, So if you could muf
fle up that machine somehow, or give
me some kind OF written guarante,
that she wont resurrect, it'll be regar-
ded as personal favor. Do they eve
come to 2"
Zone old lady revived last week
after she had been in the vault thre
days"
"My gracious, man, you take IN.
breath away ! Why, it's awful Upol
the whole, believe I'll run Mrs. Rob
insOn out and bury her in the buryin
ground. III send over mau for he
this afternoon, and put her in a hOl
forty feet deep. l never did like theS
cemeteries anyway, with their new faI
gled notions. So you be ready to sh
her off when that fellow comes with tn
wagon"
Mrs. Robinson is now entombed Sc
curely, and Mrs. Jones and Robinso
are one.