Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-10-18
Nasty.

The Corners Afflicted by Bob Ingersolps
lpndelfty-A Meeting Held for the Pur-
pose of DenOunctng Him-How JoeBixler,
the CarpeL-bagger, Interfered wi h the
Proceedings. teerEH
Toledo Blade
CoNFEDRIT K ROADS, WICH IS IN THE
STATE Nv KENTUCKY, September %, 1876
The depth Nv wickidness hes bin
sounded by the Ablishnists at last.
They hev Bob Ingersoll, NV Illinoy, on
the stump, shreeking for Hayes, and
agin our Reform candidate. Samyooel
Tilden, To say I am shocked is to
state the state NV my feelins mildly.
Don't they know that Ingersoll is an
middle? Don't they know that he
don't believe in revealed religin f? Don't
they know that he haint no vital piety :?
I told Deekin Pogram NV it, and
when l explained to him wat an middle
wuz, he wuz shocked
"What! I" sighed the Deekin, "not
bleeve in religion +? Well, I'm dad.
Let's hold meetin' and protest agin
the cuss."
The Deekin's suggestion struck me ez
be1n an exceedinly good one, and de-
termined to act upon it. I he'd my mail
to get thro with first, and that took me
merely all day. I cooden't stop even to
rebook intidelity till I did my bizniz. I
he'd received 81 900 from the Moo York
Committy to be yoozed in sending voters
to the State of Injeany; he'd to reed
two letters from Jno. Morrisey instructor
me how to yoose the money: and I he'd
to find quarters for an Irish brooser,
who he'd bin pardoned out Nv the
States Prison to assist in this campane,
and who he'd been sent on to show us
how to work repeeters to the best ad-
vantage. Afore Good assist in reboo-
kin Republican infidelity and castin
stigma on religion, he'd to get all this
out Nv the way.
I called the meetin at Bascom's, our
church not hevin bin opened for relig
ious meetins sence johnson went out in
1869. 1t wuz lively meetin. When
the Corners wuz informed NV the impi-
ETY. and irreligion Nv this pet Nv Re-
there wuz an indignashen
manifested tat wuz trooly encurridgin.
They wuz all convinst that, eff such
contemmer Nv religion wuz permitted to
go loose without rebook, there wuz
cussid little hope Nv Republican insti-
tooshens; and, after drinkin around two
or three times, we organized, [ takin
the cheer.
I remarkt that it wuz no ordinary
occasion that he'd called us together.
Our liberties wuz in danger from the
party, and our religion
from the shockin infidelity Nv one NV
it's cheef advocates. We may lose our
but shell we lose our religion?
"Not by a id site" ejackilated
the awjence, ez one man.
I then presented series of resoloo
shens, ez fol lows:
WHEREAS, The Republican party hav, on
stump advocatin it's heresies, Bob Ingersoll,
Nv IIlinoy. and
WHEREAS, Sed Ingersoll is an middle NV
the most radical stamp man which denies
the trooths Nv Holy Writ
Swat is Holy Writ ?' asked dozen.
I he'd to stop and explain to EN- that
wantid to destroy the Bible,
witch infooriated EN-.
"Ain't we to be allowed to hev our
regular township Bible? Wat'n we
hev to sware witness on in boss cases?"
they indignantly demanded. $50 on
go on down with the middle
WAREAS, LILO dppoofAuC0 Nv 6lCu d mhu Oh
the stump is calkelatid to outrage the feelins
Nv the Corners, and tare up the bulworks Nv
sosiety therefore, be it
ResolUed, That the eleckshun Nv Tilden and
Hendrix is a necessity, and that, after this ex-
hibition Nv in6delity on the part NV Ingersol.
every Republican wich don't immejitly jine us,
and cast his ballot for Tilden and Reform, is
Nv salvashen.
Afore we took a vote on the resoloo-
shens we adjourned to take drink, and,
while takin NV it, Joe Bigler and Pollock
come in. I shuddered when [ saw EN-,
for in all the twelve yeers them carpit
baggers hev bin here [ never saw EN-
without anticipatin trubbIe, and I wuz
never yit disappointed.
When we cum to order agin, josef
askt permishun to make few remarks.
He sympathized with the meet1n hartily.
He knowd Ingersoll, and knowd him to
be an middle and a unbeleever. Feeiin
that he must add his unworthy testi-
mony agin SIGH man and SIGH doc
trines, he woodruff, eff the meetin
wantid to heer him, they must git away
from the bar.
It took me some time to git EN- away
for a Louisville drummer for hkker-
uOuS0 udPHSuOu W COulo LII III u uIAAhs
and the entire meetin he'd gathered
around him expectin to be askt to take
suthin. It wuz bitter thing for me to
stay away with SIGH an opportoonity
afore me; but "Dooty first " is my mot
to, and I stuck it out.
The Louisville man hevin treeted the
crowd twice, and there bei1 no show
that he wood do it again, they reas-
sembled.
Josef then remarkt that, sympathizin
with the objecks Nv the meetin, he he'd
prepared some resolooshens hisself,
wich he shood offer, with the remark
that, eff he wuz interrupted he wood to-
wunst lick the interrupter out of his
boots in less than mint:
WHEREAS, The Republican party is issenin,
jist now, to Bob Ingersoll, Nv Illinoy, in
fiddle which denies the trooths Nv reveiashen;
therefore, be it
Resozoed That Bob Ingersoll, in denyin the
divinity Nv our Savior milk mortal stab at
the Dimocratic party, to witch a savior is, es-
pecially necessity.
Resozoed That Bob Ingersoll, in denyin the
divinity Nv our Savoir, hurts our feelins ez