The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1876-06-02

A Jolly fellow, somewhere IN lllihuls,
having been appointed Justice Of the
pence, was called upon 10 perform amar.
riago ceremony md thus rolatcs how no
managed u:
Having been appointed to the desirable
"posishn Of Justice Of the poacc, | was
accosted on the 9th day Of July by sleek
looking young man, and IN silsery tones
requested 10 proceed to nelghborlng
hotel, as he wished To enter into the holy
bonds Of matrlmony, Here was a
"sQuelchorn nevor had done anything
Of the kind, had no books or forms; yet
was determined to do things upstrong,
and In a legal manner and 50 proceeded
to the hotel, bouring IN my arms one copy
of the Revised Statutes, one ditto Web
ster's Unabridged Dictionary, one copy
large sized Bible, u small copy Of the
creeds and articles Of Faith Of the Con-
gregatonal Church, one copy Of Popes
Essay on Man, aud q sectional part Of
the map whore the victim resided. llay-
ing placed table IN tho middle Of the
room aud seated myself behind II, !, in
trumpet tones, called the case, With
that the young man and woman, with
great alacrlty, stepped up before me-.
Having sworn them On tho dictionary 10
answer well and truly all the questions !
was about to ask, proceeded. told
tho young man that being an ontlre
stranger, | should have TO ask him 10
give mo bail for the costs Having heard
this SO frequently In court, thought y
indispensable, He answered II ! meant
the fee for performing the ceremony no
would deposit II then and there. As !
did not exactly know what did mean,
| magnanimously waived that portion of
the ceremony. then told him Il would
bo necessary to give bail to keep the
peace. This he said he was willing 20
DO when no arrived at homo, and then
waived that point also.
Having established 70 my satisfaction
that they wanted to get marrled, and
that they both were old enough 10 enter
into that blessed state, proceeded 70 tic
the knot. / asked him ii he was willing
10 take that woman to be his wife, Ie
said he was. told him did not require
haste IN the answer that he might reflect
q few minutes II he wished TO. told
him she looked like tlne girl, and | had
no doubtshe was, buti the sequel proved
that he had been taken in, did not want
10 be held responsible, / said he must
love, honor and obey her as long AZ he
lived He must never be "snappy' around
tho house, nor spit tobacco juice on the
door, all Of which he promised faithfully
tn obey. "Now, said |, "Georgiana (Ior
her namc was Georgiana), you hear what
Humphrey says, DO you accept the iu-
vitalion to become his wifc- will you be
leniont toward his faults, and cherish his
virtues--will you never be guilty Of
throwing furniture at his head for slight
offences, and will get three meals a day
without grumblingl' She said she would.
asked them ii they believed In all the
commandments, and they said they did.
Having read the creed and articles of
faith, rs aforesaid, exclaimed, "llumph-
rey, take her, she is yours; lcannot With
hold my consent. GcorgiAna, when safe
in the arms Of your Humphrey, you can
deny the SCOTS and ieers Of the world.
then read little from the Essay on
Man. including the passage "Man wants
but little here below, but wants that lit
tic long, AS finale to the scene, de-
liyorcd the following exordium: "Go Ia
peace, sin no morc,n The generous
Humphrey having placed q fifty cent
check in my unwilling palm, babe the
happy pair final adieu.