Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-08-11
NASBY AT SARATOGA.
From the Toledo Blade.

FROM the Toledo Blade.
CONFEDERATE X RoADs, WHICH IS IN THE
STATE Nv KENTUCKY, Jooly "A, 1861 got
home from IDjeany disgustid and discour-
aged. After the unfortunit speech wieh
Isaker Gavitt spilled went to two other
appointments afoot, but met no incurridg-
ment The Dimoerisy wuz cold and not
impressible Iwuzn't invited to a single
mites lodgin, or drop of anything to
drink, and got back ez dry ez lime kill.
But there is some comfort in it after all,
for in the township bible, which we keep to
swear witnesses onto, found a passage
which cOmforted me, shown ez it does that
am better man than I thought I'wuz;
'When the unclean spirit is gone out NV
a man he walketh thro dry places seeking
rest and findeth nome" Matthey 1913
But there comes in doubt after all.
Don't the words ''unclean spirit" apply to
the sod-corn whisky witch hev eonsoomed,
and not to purifyin Nv my moral system?
And that about seekin rest and fndin
none to my yoOnifOrm ill-succesS at beatin
landlords? 1t is a singler fact that when
ever Dimoerat flies to the Bible for cOnso-
lashen he alluZ retires with doubt on his
mind. He Good git more comfort out NV
it if it wuZn't made up so largely Nv threat
UdllS dLn D6lldlllcos llCNlil NOlGu d bIlhll
Dimocratic ticket alluz, the story NV the
thieves on the cross comforts me some, as
does the fact that I hev alluz death-bed
repentance to fall back onto.
/ conserved it my dooty to deliver an or
ashen on the 4th Nv July, to commemorate
the Centenyal uv-Amerikin Independence,
but wuz subjected to a series NV insults
from the Ablishinists at the Corners wich
neerly broke my heart. When l anuouuc-
ed it, Pollock, the Ilinoy disturber re-
marked: See Job 38-5.
"Who has sent out the wild ass free?
Or who hath loosed the bands of the wild
ass% E-a
And when 1 was speal1in and layin it
down ruther lively ez TO the strength Nv
free institOoshens which Good survive
hundred yeers, ''Yes, replied the onmiti-
gated cuss, Joe Biggler, '1t is a strong
government. When think it hez lived a
hundred yeers, and is yet healthy, and re-
member that there hez bin a Dimocratic
party at the head most of that time, am
lost in admirashun at its vitality. Ez it
hez survived yoo and sich ez 700, l don't
know Nv any thing that kin hurt it. don't
despare NV the Republic"
The niggers all laft uproorusly, and ez
we had decided not to Kill anv more Nv 'em
till after eleckshun, we he'd to stand their
jeers in silence. Its disgustin.
The Dimocrasy hev bin waitin for the
letters Nv the Reform candidates, Tilden
and Hendrix, acceptin the nominashuns.
They will wait some time yet. fancy.
Thought it to be the proper thing to do to
accompany onr noble reform candidate for
Vice President, Hendrix, to Saratoga to
consult our noble Reform candidate for
President, Tilden, that they might agree
ez to what they should believe in till after
eleckshun.
Tilden was sittin in his room, smilin,
surrounded by those eminent Reformers,
John Morrissey, Boss Mclaughlin, Oakley
Hall, and sieh, when Hendrix entered
with his reform hackers, wich is me, Henry
Clay Dean, Governor Allen, Nv Ohio, and
sich.
MY buzm swelled with emoshun ez I
looket over the crowd. ''NOw" thOt l, ''the
country-and the postofices--is safe. :"
Then l wuz immejitly alarmed. The
mint the two great Reformers met their
eyes glared and, metaforically speakin,
they lowered their heads at each other like
two enraged Buffalo bulls. We felt that it
wuz impossible for them two great intel
lects to come together.
We begged NV EN- to be mOdrit, to each
eoncede sumthin, and agree upon sum kind
Nv letter, wich would pacify the party
and keepit together and yOonite it.
made the openin speech.
sEGentlemen, sed l, regardin them with
stern look, afore wieh they quailed,
''neiter Nv 700 must undertake to throw
the other out Nv the party. See Matthew
1875:
" 'And eff Saten cast out Saten he is di-
Vided against hisself; how shell his kingdom
stand?
''Ef we are divided agin ourselves, and
loose this eleckshun, wat becomes Nv US?
Eff Hayes is electid kin my muscular friend
Morrissey, the pride Nv Moo York, be Seek
retary Nv the Treasury? Eff Hendrix goes
down kin my earthly friend, Dean, be Min
lister to England? Eff yoo both 90
under wat is to become Nv the long suffer-
in repeeter NV Moo York, the down-trOdden
Confederits Nv the South and the hosts NV
Dimocrats wich followed the lamentid
Bookanan out Nv offs, and hev bin gitin
their ticker on tick ever senee?
"And wat is to cum NV me? Am to be
defrauded out NV the post-offis at the corn
ers beeoz yoo can't agree on the currency
question.
''Gentlemen," continued, 'with the
postotfice filled with Republicans, the Gus
tom houses filed with Republicans, with
thousands Nv Dimocrats wich average one
shirt piece, and who hev bin waitin for
places fifteen weary yeers-with such solld
facts afore 700, kin yoo, ask, let s9el
mere abstraeshens eZ currency, HEiI'
banks, manufakters, and trade generally
prevent yoonity NV ackshun! l can't be-
leave It. In the Interest NV these sufierin |
Iongers for place, strike ez one man for Re-
form and Victryl Make yOor letters Hard !
money or Soft money, or dodge it altogeth- !
er; ez yoo ehOose-we who want the places !
will take either gold or paper for our sala-
ries-but make it suthin we kin all agree |
onto, and let US go in to win"
Tilden then remArkt that he wuz anx-
shus for harmony, and Hendrix remarkt !
that he wuz willin to make eoneessiahs.
and then they sot down to argoo the matter !
and get to an agreement.
But wat Eesh sa2 -
These two NslF dnred. Knew too much.
They are both tassser Iiui Atore they he'd
talked an hour 1es no1nad eonvinst Hen
dirk that hard mohs. wus wat we must |
hey, and Hendrix had convinst Tilden thav
soft money was the only practicable idee,
and thew fought Wuss than ever and were |