National Republican., 1876-12-23
Hail, EtheboId Alien Cronfn and Him
self


With uncovered head we stand in the dawn
ing twilight of the glorious second Centennial,
and amidst the awful confusion of our great
political fight we reverently pause and, in the
language Of the immortal poet: LLt
We Welcome Csenin, q. i mighty iaty M0sql;
Ethebold Allen Cronin, the celebrated
President maker Of the painless region where
rolls the Oregon and hears no sound save its
own dashing, is here-sll here! With his
ruddy red, covered with all his electoral glory,
he has swept in upon us from that far-of
State, and never stopped to ease his breath
with painting until he struck the Senate Cham
Der with his presence like hesdlong, ,plunging
planet. Again we announce Ethebold Allen
Cronin with his electoral college, composed of
three personsges-himself, Ethebold Allen
Cronin and the bogus yote-being here in the
abstract and in the concrete, ready to receive
the attention which his mission of President
making so much demands. His Democratic
popularity, like the lurid lightning in collied
night-swift as any shadow, short as any
dream-broke loose from its humble moorings
In Oregon and spread over an entire continent,
cNcu W tuC utbCLnOoS AiLAAso VI GtOW oOAoCyI
all in the interest of Tflden and reform.
Selfmade men are common among our
progressive people. The spectacle of . mar
rising from the plebeisn sphere of . seedy
book agent to the commander of q narrow.
gauge horse car that rides our streets like
thing of life does not astonish US or even at
tract our attention. But how our admira-
tion is stirred to its profoundest depths; how
we crave to bend before the wondrous pres
enee Of him whose deeds outshine the ex-
ploits of the valiant Coriolsnus, and who In
the brief space of one short hour arose success
sively from the sphere of pettifogging poverty,
through q committee of one, seff-selected
and duly called to order, into q whole ro-
bustious perriwig, psted electoral college, the
Crownin' style after the latest Tilden reform
fashion. Hail, then, all hail, say we to Ethe-
bold Allen Croninl The trumpess, sackbuts,
psalteries, and ffes, and tsbors, and cymbals,
and the shouting and admiring hosts of Demo
cratic ofRce-seekers should make the sun
dance to his welcome. All tongues should
hail him, and bleared-sights should be
spectscled to see him. The kitchen mslkin
should spin her richest lockfsms about her
reechy neck" and chamber from the basement
steps and press among the thronged street
and paffto win vulgar station from which to
view the man who singie-handed and alone held
g meeting with himself, called himselft to ordsr'
nominated himself president, seconded the
motion himself and declared himself unani-
mously elected, and when this was done ap-
pointed himself committee of two to con-
duct himself to the chair, where he thanked
himself for the great honor he had conferred
upon himself by selecting himself to preside
over an assembly composed of himself, which
had met to elect himself for the purpose of
making an Electoral College of himself, by
which he himself intended to make q Presi-
dent who was to rule over the destinies of the
American people. And now, after the
Crownin' set of his great reform mission shall
have been consummated-ater he marches
boldly down the Senate chamber, in the
presence Of the grave and dignifed, hosry-
headed and bald-headed heads of the nation,
and triumphantly thrusts his votes and GER
tiicates and sffidayits into the hands of the
Senate's President-and when, in the last
act Of this impressive scene, he passes sulkily
from the Senate chamber pitsom receipt,
may Ethebold Allen Cronin congratulate
himself on having successfully made Of him.
self roseste- -complexioned and pugged-aose
dolt, in which congratulation the American
people will heartily join him.