The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-01-06
BOLIVAR, January I'd, 1875.
Ny ONCE DEAREST

My ONCE DEAREST ---:
Can you realize the pangs you have
forced me to feel, or does your scorn or
educational embi tterment exclude the
possibility of your yet possessing any
ingredients of charity as to the feelings
of one whom you once professed to love
with a truth and determination that
nothing could change? How often does
fancy remind me of your words and vows
and | implicitly believed them all, and
dwelt upon the assurance that in you l
had found an attachment that was true
But alas | have found, to my sorrow,
that with woman, the most faithful at
tachment she possessed was to be in love
with herself, for to fondle is not always
to love That l am the victim Of con
fdence misplaced, is qnite palpable.
Enough has been said and done to shake
the confidence of God, without regard
ing that of a mortal Nothing could have
ioyed me more than to have known that
by the most convincing statements from
enemies my love was TO have been tested.
While you, in your true goodness, pos
sess no enemies, l abound with those of
a character that would scruple at moth
ing to injure me In my happiest inten
tons. "But, [ have at least gained the
indulgence from my friends by never
showing it to my enemies" Being too
determined has probably been my mis-
fortune, for coincident upon coincident
proves that there is something truly glO-
rious in the heritage of wealth, for one
with wealth is like a representative of
the past. Yet, with it all, would, from
tle deepest devotion be allowed to as
sure you, that not to the past, but to the
c,E
always have eudeavored to the utmost of
my limited abilities to have been all that
you, in your fancy, had pictured; for
when | loved you and made that love
known, and received yours in return,
your fate became my own; and through
Joy, sorrow or shame, should have been
by thy side. But l can yet prove how
true is the love offered, at least By one
man. From the first moment | saw you
grew to what l shall be to the last, your
Gdorer and this love, guilty though you
have termed it, became a fountain of
ambition and hope. On thou dearest of
all you will never know how well you were
loved But now mere hope is gone
thou art faithless. But OH to ever know
that thou art another's creates a woe,
the sting of which renders me damnably
wicked 1t is really a sharper paug to
think you faithless than to be what you
are so anxious to term me, yet, true love
would sacrifice all things to bless the
thing it loves l never nurtured a
thought that was not yours, and, as Bull
wer so truthfully says, 81 had rather toll
and beg and live upon a kind word and
smile of her l love than wear the crown
the BourbOus lost" Yet, with me, all is
not lost, for thy memory dear shall at
least be mine, until death If l live,
the name of him thou hast once loved |
shall resound in thy ears az a becon Of
sincerity. portraying a proof that what
was pride in the prosperity of love will,
In its affection, become virtue. l have
heard that you we're to bless another
with thy love. If o,when you are happy
and half forgotten him who so loved you,
think and dwell upon the assurance that
Heaven has left a remnant of goodness
still in the nature of him for whoml
you once professed such alteration
Farewell, once dearest of all, until we
meet in the celestial city, where true
love is rightly valued, and credits entered
accordingly.
Until death, and after, your most true,
sincere and q6ectiOnate deVotee,