The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-11-30
ORPHANS
Picked up ON the Sea of Newspaper
dom.

Pick ed up on the Sea OF Newspaper
dom.
An oyster should not be boiled in
milk, though cold milk may be added TO
= stew.
TURKEYS are strutting round as if we
were not going TO feast off them on
Thursday.
For once, the South Carolina Board of
Canvsssers are the right men in the right
place They're all in Jail.
The Rochester Chronicle, in the exu-
berance Of its JOY, exclaimed: We've
met Peter Cooper and he is ours"
The St. Louis Times is of the opinion
that the Goddess of Liberty is getting
good many black eyes these days.
GOVERNOR KELLOGG had better soon
issue his Thanksgiving proclamation. or
he'll be counted out on that day.
IN Cincinnati girl of nineteen, bu
unly four feet high, complains to the po-
lice that children of lesser age and
larger proportions roll her in the mud
and pull all the feathers out of her hat.
RER. DE WITT TALMAGE, of Brook
Ign, in his sermon on Sunday, denounced
the man VINO would take the office Of
President iron the hands of ballot box
suffers or unfaithful returning boards
THE New York 7TtbD4le believes that
NJ. TiiGen will control the selection of
the new Speaker, and that it will be y
shrewd one; also, that In such event there
will DO one blunder the less in the Dem
ocratIc history.
GEN. HAMPTON is suffering dearly for
hi- effort 10 rescue his state from Radical
inisrue. \ few nights az his residence,
situated about three miles from Column
hia, was burned to the ground by incen-
diaries, with all that II contained.
A GIRL, aged thirteen who was sent to
jail recently At Upton, England, for coal
stealing. told the bench that unless she
took home daily given weight of GOA
~ the produce OF her pilferings. her
mother beat her and kept her without
TODD
THE snow spirit was softly trailing her
garment upon the earth, and the wind
Was sObbing huskily against the window
pane as Mrs. Doddleby looked up froGa
The pamphlet wherein her name was
printed in Phariasical fat letters rs the
giyer of 800 toward the new organ, and
said, Thank God, the slush will keep
the beggsrs away tomorrow"
THE Radicals sent soldiers to see to the
voting in the South. They sent soldiers
/ see 10 the counting OF votes in the
south. They provide soldiers to override
The courts in the South. They assemble
spiliers ut Washington to enforce the
elimination Of Inflammation and fraud.
Can such party triumph and the Re
public endure?
The following is timely, these dark
mornings, when late rising and early
Breakfasts occasion hazardous haste IN
lre-msking:
one morning Miss Bridget O'Farrel
Sphlitted up petroleum barrel;
Now, said she, I'm have feline fire."
And surely she did,
For when they found Bid
she was baked like brick,
only dryer.
As TILDEN had one hundred and
eighty. four electoral votes conceded 10
him the morning after the election.
since then the Army and the Navy and
the whole Federal power of the Govern
ment has been put in motion - back up
It conspiracy to proclaim the &C. ton OF
HAYES by one vote. All this G '4y and
uncertainty and stsgnG,lo3 Of business is
tie result eff this infamous Conspiracy.
What say the people?
\ SONG OF SIX BITS.
Sing song of six bits,
\ package by express.
Twenty back townships
Held in dUreSSc.
When the packets opened,
10 won't show gains for Hayes,
And no appropriation
Fund the cost detrayS.
When good Colonel Zacharle,
Counted out the money,
Wells in the Returning Board
Thought 1t very funny.
-NeIC York HOrld.