National Republican., 1876-12-21
sIErINGs OF CRInE.


Criminal walls from the Police Court
Misery, Vice aud viIIainy-Justice
as Melted Out by O Merctful Magis.
trate-Barton's Philosophy.
The sleigh bells jingled and the sun shone with
| dazzling brIlliancy upon the snow-covered roofs
and glanced along the frost work upon trees and
shrubbery yesterday morning, presenting really
beautiful scene, which was hugely enjoyed by
Barton. the ancient and much respected watch
dog of the Police Court, who stood with his nose
fattered against the window pane looking out
ing towards the dock, said: dwhat Is the trouble,
lad, with our young men these days7 Around
here there is six working days between each two
Sundays, and those chaps appear TO feel just as
ifit is an unjust dispensation and keeps growi.
use, the more work there is the less they wants
TO do, and 'ud sooner come here for cussin' and
so lift sem out than they'd eat. Now, there, see
them two chaps. Well they're q nice pair to draw
from. To my knowledge they have been here
nine times, and they had the cheek to say Just
now that they was
GENERAL TOURISTS.
They look like It sure. Come now you fellers,
here comes the Court. SO skip up and give an ac-
tS cSe1t 0i = IN e sd 70 %
swering TO the names of Alexander Moray and
VIM. Glascott- And 1t was recorded that Alex
would fall upon him for thirty days, and William
was sent to rest his weary limbs, not upon q
glass cot, but upon an iron bedstead for similar
length Of time.
THE COURT RESOLVES TO GATHER THEnIs
Then the Court looked grave, and quietly
hummed, s--aH
"Alas, what a'world of villains and sin.
But trot 'em out, Barton, III gather them II"
So It came to pass that the old man, who was
playing push PIN with O. policeman In the cor
ner, sprang to his feet and introduced
$50, Matt, old boy, you're here again. What's
the row this timer" asked the Court, at the same
time knitting his brow and rolling up the sleeves
of his coat
aIfit plaze the cote, sur, the cop thare wild the
long nose foreninst his face seq as how hev bate
ther law by sellin' whisky wdout loisance: Yer
and man of CRATE influence and Of all ther toimes
yer was liver IN my place" ..
ahem Step fghs there sir Ihis jia nI cnaIge
You have sold whisky In violation of the Revised
Statutes and l."
comes in my place, and wants TO git whisky fur
money he don't git 1t. But whin he ates hand
full Of crackers charges him tin cints and throws
In drink of fine ould sthuf as liver yer
Honner's nose bloomed over"
"Tbat'll do, sir; no levity in this court. You
are fined 500 and costs"
A BuLL-DozER
The next applicant for Justice was man named
Miles. who CHARGED one Robert Booker with hav-
ing poisoned his bull q valuable animal, and
fayofite among the boytnes Of "Froggy Bottom"
Booker said IN selfdefense he had dosej the ami
NAL, who was planning an attack in his rear
while he was attempting TO climb over fence.
He produced fifteen or twenty formidable looking
documents certifying as to his good character and
stating that he never dosed bull before, but the
court concluded that life was too short, and the
dinner hour too near at hand, TO peruse the let
ters, and he stated that as this vas the rst case
of bulldozing he had experienced he fined the
eulprit accordingly. =.
IN DOUBT.
al he ard Rar
said his Honor, as he slid gracefully into his
ulster. "Yes sir; all 'cept two, and theys kinder
doubtful" answered old Ironsides. "Well, let
them go over until tomorrow and then well get
the oficial returns, !" was the Courts expression,
after which a motion to adjourn was carried bya
large majority. When the Judge was gone Bar
ton tuned up his pipes and accompanied the pris-
oners while they sang:
"Over the hill to the work k-house,
Well soon be thar, they say;
We're gwine to meet Joe Hodgson,
And with him fur to stay. ..
So over the hill to the work-house,
We all is gwine away.
The reporter departed sorrowfulIy, and the
Maria ratified off down the street with Its load Of
vice, to be deposited az the prison gates, only to
return on the morrow for more.