Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1876-03-03
humorous Skrtebcs

the sounds ola fiddle, bapioe and TAM
BORNE. As he neared the point from which
they proceeded, he heard footsteps keeping
time to ;hc music and voice calling ont
the figures Of cotilion. lie soon learned
il was a negro wedding frolic. Just as be
arrived IN frsnt of the house loud angry
voice called out Stop Cat music imnedya-
tely!' whats dc mattah, san 2 SAID
another voice; what doyou meaa by stop
PIN De dance = 4 mean jes zaCtly what
say answered Sam; i gagged dat oanu
myself TO play for dis party lse bos oo ais
casion de band shant play no mo- DIS
party shan't: go on dc DaiiS eroxe up
Gemmen and ladies. you can all so nome
What in de name OBJ sense is de mattah
wild that nigeah p vas the speech tha!
come from all parts o. the room. WHATS
de mat,ah, sam; you talk Ike crazy
uicpab :, No, Ise not crazy said the
one addressed, 'Ise gwine 20 have a divoce,
Ise cyine to h.ve divocc OATS what
Ise. Cwine to have ,Divoce F. divoce =
snake several Of the voices together )
whats dat niggar thinking bout lie
aint bin married more'n two hours, and
now he's talkin' bout gittin divocc. He's
crazy. sho. You's crazy Sam y i tell
Won Ise not crazy said the latter. Here
Ise bin courtin' Lucinda for two years,
wifi, honable inteBshuns, and she's bin
maxim, me believe she had money; dat she
was rich, and now she tells me she alnl
cot bat dolla. Stop de music, 1 say
Dis party's broke up. When dis chile
marries 4 gal for her money, she's 10 nave
more,n n dolla, or wont live with her
mint Ise gwinc to quit in time. What's
a dola to man wild family?' 'Dat's
MORN you've got, anyhow, you good Tor
muffin, lazy, no account niggah, you = here
chimed in Lucinda. Mex time marry
for money, it's go; to be counted out Deio
de preacher Ties de not said sam. Use
cwine TO get divoce immediately j Such
an uproar was raised by this speech the
citizen could not not understand any more
that was said. and he passed on homeward,
thinking that was the shortest honeymoon
Of which he had ever heard. or course
sam is pushing matters for a 'divoce.'
sWhat's dola TO man wild family 2
GEORGE AsHINGToN JoNEs.-lie
walked into one of the banks yesterday
morning with firm step, and going streight
% the leller's window he remarked
ITS mighty close times.
Yes; was the brief reply.
Does yer know what ails dis yer country"
continued Mr.. Jones.
There was no reply.
sDar's de merchant aud de lawyer, and
de laboring man, all crying hard times,
continued Mr. Jones, 'au nobody seems to
know de remedy. Is dsr remedy 2
The cashier wouldn't comp!misa his
bank by making a reply.
'Ofcourse dar is = exclaimed Mr.. Jones
in voice showing contempt and indisna-
ton. In dc fust place capital governs la
bor Den meneY governs bot. Don't you
begin 10 sec now? Isn't de solutnn per-
iecily defensible to view Z
The cashier wouldn't say.
DE laboring man works for Money con-
iinued the Gnancier, and when he gits
money he laws it out in cloze and eatables
aud opera tickets. 1t calculates aroun'
from hand 10 hand, pays debts carries on
business, and de hull machinery moves.
Don't YOU see row? Isn't il perfec. impa-
rep: to You p
The cashier still preserved silence.
DE solution am dis said Mr.. Jones,
after brief rest. If all de folks what
work viii 90 10 work at three dollars day,
desc hard times will be knocked nowhar IN
about five jifs. Three dollars day is
eighteen dollars week for the working
man. and dat's nuff for anybody. Den
when he goes to work have all de lawyers
cit cases at City dollars each. Dey can
make two hundred dollars week,
aud dat's enough for de lawyers. Den
have all de doctors. cit patients, all de
merchants heaps of customers, AL de banks
give out money when 4 feller wants 1t. and
don't de solution strike you? Don't dat
philosophy alude 10 your finacial Judge
neni like load Of brick p
The cashier didn't even smile.
Oats dc way TO get along continued
Mr.. Jones. I've handled heap Of money
in ny time, and dar amt cullud pussun in
de city dat pays de atteshun to dc finances
q. I do. DE solution is yours. | don't
make any charge for it. want to see this
country run ahead, and | wants folks to
10 know how is can DO it,
lie cast long lingering look at the
cashier, and then walked out.
QUESTIONING A DUTCHMAS.-The Ne
rada Siler Star says: At a recent trial in
the EIko county court our friend Bishoif,
Of the Humboldt brewery, was called as q
witness. Mr.. Bishof is one Of the Solid
men Of ElkO, where he has been in business
since the town was started in the winter OF
1855. Upon being sworn, Counselor Rand,
ono of the attorneys in the case, who by the
way, is an old resident Of Elko, said Mr..
Bshof where do you reside 2 Where /
reside? What for you ask me such foolish
,hings? You drinks at my place more as
hundred times That has nothing TO
do with the case on trial. Mr.. Bisbof,
state to the Jury where you reside. DE
shurry de shurry? Oh, by jimmy. siery
gentlemen of dis shurry has string Of
marks on my cellar door just like rail
lenAe. His Honor here inierceded in the
couhselor's behalf, and in calm and dig
nilied manner requested the witness to
state where he resided. oh, excuse me,
shudge; you drinks ut my place so many
times and pays me nothings, dinks you
knows old Bishof vat keeps the brewery
DuRIS6 game ofmarbes ina neighbor-
ing town, one boy was stabbed and an-