The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-03-31
WHAT THE WITS SAY.

CiuD geQQle Sprldg, etnerl2I plldnesS
club" and bring lot of soft-shell hand
kerchiefs -Eatop Press.
We must row with the oars we have, and
as we can not order the wind, we are
obliged to sail with the wind God gives
Dutch Prouer6. s. ..rs.- rs .
Over a half million dollars worth of rhu.
barb win be imported into the United
States the present year. Boys will please
take to the woods.-Dan5ury Meas.
A neighboring church has got cornet
player in the choir, and patented chande.
lier, and has made other preparations fol
an active work of grace.-Danbury News.
The ost-trader at Fort Sill charges 81. sc
for pair of thirty-cent suspenders. In
this s'gallus" " way he has been enabled to
roll up enormous profits. Detroit Free
Press. +*i "t
Judge Lambreth, of Rome, Ga, has
married 1894 couples. When the Judge is
called upon to render up his account he had
better appear only by substitute. .-Rochss
ter Democrat.
While an Iowa woman was STRUGGLING in
the water and likely to drown, her husband
yelled out, "New bonnet-swim for life p
and she kicked out and safely reached the
shore.-Free Press. ......
Three hundred and thirty-seven Ameri
can hotels were burned in 1876, and not a
hotel clerk was SO much as scorched. How.
ever, there is a difference between time and
eternity. y.-Rochester Democrat.
A phenomenal effect of sympathy be.
tween great men has just been chronicled
in Massachusetts. Whenever Charles
Francis Adams liver is out of order Sam
uel Bowles looks yellow.-Brookgyn Ar.
gas.
The Rome Sentinel Office is prepared to
do election printing with pleasure and dis
patch. Tickets printed here appeal IRE
sistibly to the feelings of the voter, and NO
candidate should be without them.-Reme
Sentinel.
When we remember that the Republic is
about to enter its second century, and re-
fleet how few men can depend with any
confidence on the button at the back of the
neck-band of a shirt, it seems as though
civilization was almost a failure.-Ronae
Sentinel.
A chap on his way to Washington to get
a patent for scandleometor incautiously
took his machine over to Brooklyn, and
now he is looking for the pieces. He says
it wasn't calculated to register beyond the
Ten Commandments.-Neso York TsEs-
gram.
George W. Childs is to entertain the EN-
peror and Empress of Brazil at his magnif-
cent residence in Philadelphia, and it is be-
lieved that when the royal couple read
some of his poetry they will want to die,
too.-RocAsster Chronicle. ..s
Boys, don't use slang. We once knew a
youth who used slang, and when he grew
0E AAS DSSdiac % pAAA0sAkAt6Ts t4uA Is HOW
member of the New York Legislature
Think how mortified his poor old parents
must feel.-Norrsstow Herald.
A train on the Northern road ran into 9
cow the other day. It didn't hurt the cow
but it threw the engine off the track. Peo
pie accustomed to the beefsteak furnished
in the boarding houses of this section ex
press much surprise at the slight damage
done to the train.-Norecsch Bulletin.
Up in Minnesota the people don't hang
around the postofices and worry the ur
bane clerks, but patiently wait till they
know their letters have come. Mrs. Butler,
of Green Bay, has just received the lette,
which was mailed to her in a town twelve
miles distant nine years ago.-Courier.
Journal.
The Sandwich Islanders still want new
flag. 1t is suggested that it be made Of
bread and butter stripes, having ham stars
on groundwork of mustard. The design
would readily suggest it's nationality, and
in case of trouble free lunch brigade
would rally round an emblem with the ut.
most enthusiasm.-Dstroa Free Press.