The Arizona sentinel., 1876-01-08
MISCELLANY.

All the the angels mentioned in the Bible are males, but all the angels in the world at this period are females.
 ''Ef county fairs is going to do agricultur any good" !" says a Long Island farmer 'keep out the vim min. Them air pulbacks gets a mans eye so so, that he can't see nothin' else" ."-BToOklyn AryuS.
 A belle who was purchasing some gloves told the clerk she wanted them of "subdued mOuse-colOr." The clerk said they were all out of that shade, but suggested "infuriated rat" as a substitute. He was discharged.
 A little girl at school read thus : -The widow lived on a small limhacy left her by relative. " "What did you call that word?" asked the teacher; "the word is legacy, not limbacy." "But," said the little girl, "my sister says l must always say limb, not leg"
 Last week a Pittsburg editor wrote "The closer people get to nature, the closer they are to God" Then he obtained leave of absence to go out into the coun- try, and was struck by lightning while robbing an apple orchard.
 It is important to know the diff ference between mushrooms and toadstOols, but it takes years to find out, and authorities differ. The only sure test is to eat one. If you live. it is a mushroom. If you die, it is a toadstool.
 A man called at a police station to relate the fact that his wife had run away. "Well, we'll, try and arrest her," replied the sergeant, after hearing the particulars of the case. "That wasn't what l came for" said the man with a disappointed look I want to have the detectives keep her on the run"
 Six skunks got into a Penn sylvania camp meeting last week, and after standing it as long as he could, one 1.-the brethren rose and remarked: "If you all say so, beloved, and 1 think you will, we'll get out of this. The Arch Enemy of mankind must be stirr- ing up his fires, for am sure smell the gas"
 A man went into a furniture room the other day, and sat down on a wooden-bott0m chair. He immediately arose and danced and howled like the widest kind of dervish. The proprietor anxi- ously inquired if he had an attack of any kind. "A tack !' yelled the man-'I should think so; and the confounded thing stock on its head, tool"
 The other day a Detroit hus- band was reading in a newspaper that the premOnitory symptoms of insanity were wild look flush- ed face, thick speech and so forth, and he handed it to his wife and remarked: "Mary, if I ever come home looking that way you'll know what it means, and you'll know what to do." "Yes," darl- ing," she softly replied as she laid the paper down, "I'll have an emetie and a club waiting for you."
 She testified before the magis- trate that "dot billy getes shoots vas a-a-vell, I vas washing by some clodings of a pig tub, und them gotes coon up behind und well, shOge, 1 don't ken told you how dot vas. Ifeel me sOme- ding behind my pack und shump over der tub und sthand me on my head up init dot tubs bottom up, and der clodings sphilt shOost like me. und dem gotes wink at me init von eyes, und vag his tails of mine face, und walks out by his behind legs like a man, und I can't sit me down cool any more already"
 How SHE STOPPED HER PAPER. She came bouncing through the sanctum door like a cannon ball, and without pausing to say "How dye do?" she brought her um- brella down on the table with a mighty crash and shouted:
 ''I want to stop my paper"
 "All right, madam"
 "Stop it right off, too, she per sisted, whacking the table again, "for l waited long enough for you to do the square thing"
 She quieted down for moment, as we run our fingers down the list of names, and when we reach ed hers and scratched it out, sine said: ~
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