National Republican., 1876-12-29
THREE CLERKS.

How They Spent Christmas Alarming a
Boarding-House-How One Of the Three
Turned Gray in Night.
-... CHAPTERL-. .-.r r...
Opens on Christmas morning last in this city,
and finds our three heroes standing on Seventh
street, near D street northwest. The gentlemen
in question are in the grocery business and, for
reasons of a private nature, their full names are
suppressed, and we will speak of them as George,
John and Joe. The latter young gentleman has
been resident Of this city but a short time. hav-
ing spent his early life in one Of the counties Of
Maryland. Being q little verdant and anxious
to learn the ropes he willingly accepted an invi-
and see the elephant. This point, being settled
they Stalled of just at noon All day long they
ting in their walk to stop at intervals Of every
half hour to ''toss the bal" ;" and. when night
came they were Interestingly tipsy, and in this
condition we hnd them when
CHAPTER II
opens, and they are discovered taking what there
Is to be derived from the play Of the Two Or
phans." The play runs six acts, and the gentle
men in question numbered three Consequently
six trips out, multiplied by three drinks each
time, gives total Of eighteen drinks per man
when the curtain fell. 1t this juncture Joe, the
and his companions but little better off. Joe's
case was bad, indeed, that HIS friends con-
Thirteenth street, between Z and Fnorthwest,
and the three would bunk in one bed. They set
out, and the house was reached, and after
lengthy search Tor the keyhole the door was
opened and Johns room reached. Then it was
discovered by John and Geor9e that Joe was miss
ing. Where could he be? was the next question,
Nhleh is answered in
CHAPTER III.
The two stumbled along the hallway to the
floor below, in the rear of the house. where sud-
denly loud screams and a voice excIaiming:
"G'out hyar, yer narsty ting; yer. Amt yer
room dis time O. night Git out an shet dat -.
IlI'There the appearances Of sever. uoarders,
With wit light, and IN scant attire queted the vol,
who stood Ieaninr .cainst the door Of the old
eoioxeo COO muttsring, half aloud:
-,Suse me, ier-hic;) itsh all right; 'scuse fer
He was captured by his friends, explanations
followed, and he was taken off TO bed. Joe
was soon sound asleep, and John, thinking TO
cured some -four, returned, and powdered Joe's
curly, raven locks thoroughly. There the matter
rested.
CHAPTER ".
Five O'Clock Tuesday morning came, and Joe
awoke, dressed hurriedIy in the dim light of
dawn and started of to the store. He descended
the stairs, opened the Yestibule door, which was
fastened with night-latch, passed on to the
street door and found 1t, to his disgust, locked.
While attempting TO open it, one of the male col
ored servants appeared upon Lne scene, l1 ana
the front door, thought poor Joe was burglar
rushed at and collared him, and after kicking the
uD1OIlu1aNe uuIOCkcu Iue
and the halfdazed and indignant grocery clerk
was kicked into the street. Frantically he rushed
DOWN town, feeling sore in body and troubled in
mind, and attracted the attention of persons who
turned and looked after him In amaZement The
store reached at last and Joe rushed in, only
to be greeted by the proprietor, who said: whats
the matter, JOe2 Arc you crazy? What have
you been doing TO your hair ?"
my hair, sir!' said the clerk wOnderingly.
-"Why, yes; come here and I'll show you,' said
the gentleman leading Joe TO the office, and
holding looking glass before him, Joe looked
and as he beheld his snow-WhIte locks his eyes
pOrtended from their sockets, and with a gasp he
. sank TO the floor exclaiming, 'My God, I've
turned gray in one night" Shortly after this his
two friends arrived, explained matters and Joe
after recovering from the shock, swore positively
never to get tight again on any pretense what
ever.
This is a true statement Of the incidents that
actually occurred, and It is hoped that Joe will
profit by the lessiOn he has learned.
THE RHD.