Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-14

pered:
81 think I've got Boss Tweed"
"Now
"Sure's you livew
"Brlng him out!''
The old janitor entered the corri-
dor and brought out man whom he
had arrested just after daylight. He
was n little, withered-up old man,
with cracked voice, and rs he came
out His Honor leaned up against the
wall and laughed until the tears roll
ed down his cheeks.
B-boss-T-tweed - haw-haw-
haw-ooh." he gasped.
"What are you lating about?" ask
ed Bijah, in an injured tone of
voice.
''Turn that old man outdoors, you
dough-head you"
"Why?"
"Why? If 1 were he I'd sue you
for $4,000 damages! He is Boss
Tweed about as much as You are
Queen Victoria"
"And III do ito sq"aked the little
old man.
He went out doors threatening to
commence suit before breakfast, but
Bijah followed him to the corner and
was seen to hand him 4 jack knife,
pair Of green sleeve buttons, u rev
box of paper collars and a. nickel,
and perhaps no suit will be brought.
Biiah skulllcd into the corridor by
the side door and ratified the stove
around and kicked things about until
the bell rang, when he brought out a
prisoner.
WANTED TO GO HOME.
"Say, yon, | want to 60 home"
exclaimed Aaron Wallace, as he came
through the door.
"Mr. Wallace, we are alwly want
ing. The man who wrote Man wants
but little here below didn't live Il
great while, because they sent him to
Il lunatic asylull."
''But | must be off on the early
train,' persisted the prisoner.
''What train?"
"For klumbus."
"There are many sad thoughts
connected with your case" said His
Honor, as he leaned back and tossed
a chestnut from one hand to the
other.
'That train will 90, Judge, and
leave me heren
81 think it will. Many trains will
come and 90 without regard to you.
You came here stranger, thinking
to settle in Detroit-the only city in
the world where a grocer will give
you box of soap if you hint to hlm
that he puts sand in his sugar. You
lied to people, had fight III street
car, got drunk, and the way you be-
came settler was to settle down in
the mud"
"I'll give n million dollars to get
out of this" exclaimed the prisoner,
excitedly.
81 don't doubt it, Mr.. Wallace, but
the die is cast-the mold is prepared
the silver cord is loosencd, and you
90 up for 80 days.
"Oh! Whack! You don't mean it,
do you?"
"Mr. Wallace, l cannot tell
lie"
"I've got to go home-I must go
i will go"
"Be calm, Mr.. Wallace; you are a
red-faced man, with an unusually
large iugular, and excitement might
bring on a stroke of apoplexy."
"I'll-hold on-dumit-stop pinch
ing" shouted the prisoner, as Bijah
drew hlm into the foggy atmosphere
of the waiting-room.
HER CAT.
"Emeline Arnold, did you strike
your husband with poker?" asked
the Court Of square-shouldered wo-
man without any hustle on.
"And what did he do ?" she
squeaked.
"The poker question takes the
preference, Mrs. Arnold. Did you
play poker on his head?"
"You don't know what | have to
stand from him."
"Answer my question, will you,
Mrs. Arnold?"
"If you knew that man as | do,
Judge! | had thirty-six dollars i'll
cash when we we've married, five
years ago, and he has run through
with every dollar of it"
"rhe-poker-the poker!!"
"WelI, did hit i.im!" she replied,
finding herself cornered at last; "but
what did he do-answer me that, will
you:"
II can't do it,"
"WeIl, sir, he kicked cat that
has been in our family for three
years"
"Is Mr.. Arnold here?" asked the
Court, looking around the audi
cnce."
Mr. Arnold, with hiss head bound
up, had been waiting to swear against
his wife, but suddenly overtaken with
rcmorse, he rushed out of doors as
the Court called.
"Mrs. Arnold, you may go home"
said His Honor, "and if you feel it
your duty to strike your husband with
the poker. | suppose I cannot help