The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-15
FACTS AND FANClLEs.
JoHS BorTLKJoHr.

II
Won't you come out to me7"
Little John Bottlejohn heard her song,
And he opened his little door
And he hoped and he skipped, and he skipped and
Until he came down to the shore.
| And there on a rock sat the little mermaid,
And still she was singing 10 free
" Oh, little John Bottejohni pretty John Bottle
Won You come out to me1p
Little John BottIejohn made bow,
And the mermaid she made one, too,
And she said: "Oh Inever saw anything half
So peTfectly sweet as you.
In nv beautiful home, meath the ocean foam,
How happy we both should bel
Oh little John Bottlejohn pretty John BottleohnI
Won't you come down with me -"
Little John PottIejohn said: "oh, yes,
I'll willingly go with you ,..,
And never will quail al the sight OF your ui't
For perhaps may grow one TOO.
so he took her hand, and he left the land,
And be plunged into the fOaming main
And little John Bottlejohn, pretty John Bottejohn'
-''''' '' ''' |EGura E. Richards. 81. Nicholas
SPEAKER KERR was the first speaker
of the house who has ever died while
holding that Office.
"REAL Kentucky whisky for sale
here" is a sign dangling over little
shop in Alexandria, Egypt.
WHERE the Englishman of humble
classes has three or four varieties of food,
the Frenchman, the italian and the Ger
man have twenty.
THERE is a glut of counterfeit silver
half-dollars in Baltimore. They are
dated 1853, 1875 and 1876, and are OF
lighter weight than the genuine coin.
WHEREVER ] CO." said an elderly
traveller the other day, find men wear
ing out their old clothes and hats; but
the ladies', almost without exception,
have brand new and expensive dresses"
WHEN the contribution-bOx comes
YOUR way remember that blessed are
tbev who give to tine Lord, and that a
nickle makes more noise than twenty
five cent scrip.
PREVIOUS to asking for a cigar, Prof.
Huxley always delivers a discourse on
the origin and purpose Of tobacco, and
the dealer is so impressed that he hands
out ten-center and takes only five cents
for it.
A Connecticut farmer finds guinea
hens the best potato bug destroyers he
has tried. He keeps 80 of these fowls,
and they do the work thoroughly
CIT is easier for camel to go through
the knee of an idol than fer rich man
to enter heaven" is the Interpretation
which colored preacher gave to the
scriptures.
RUMoR states that a movement is on
foot among the hotel keepers of the
United States to secure another visit
from Dom Pedro. They took, in all,
about $4,000 out of him during last
year.
A soUTHERNER, writing from Cape
May to his home paper, wonders why
prudish girl who will dance with no one
but her brother will run along the beach
"naked as to the knee" and kicking
sand at her beau.
AN old gentleman, whose nose was not
only very large, but very highly col
ored was asked by George ~. how
much it had taken to paint it. SIRE,
was his reply, 81 cannot tell you, for 1t
is not finished yet"
If the money which our young men
throw away every day for cigars were
devoted to charity every man, woman
and child in Rome could have ice cream
for supper and the stomaCh-ache and
three kinds of cholera medicine before
morning.-ROnle Sentinel
1T is difficult to explain the workings
of the youthful mind. A boy who VIII
listen indifferently to the subllmest
truths of theology will be reused TO the
acutest interest by the progress OF
caterpillar over the collar of the bald
headed man in the pew in front OF him.
JAPANESE poetry:
I saw a pigeon making bread
saw q girl composed 0f threnf
1 saw a towel one mile square
saw meadow in the air;
saw a rocket walk mile
saw a pony make a hlc J
I saw a blacksmith in q box
saw an orange kill an OK;
saw a butcher made ot steel
saw a pcn-kniie dance a reel.
THE reason why great men meet Win
so little pity or attachment IN adversely,
would seem TO be this: The friends OF a
great man were made by his fortunes
his enemies by himself; and revenge Is a
much more punctual paymaster thah
gratitude.-COttOn.
THERE is poetry even in that SittirP
Bull of winged tOrments, the uneasy
mosquito. Think, young man, as you
listen to his grace before meat, that thS
bill that feeds upon your marble ioreheau
NAV only little while since have caress-
ed the damask cheek of her whom you
love.
A New ENGLAND chap has got pat
ent for n new tin hen. He fills the
thing with oyster shells, boiled starch
and extract of carrot, winds her up, puts
her on nest, and she will lay an egg
every day for a week. He has way OF
keeping her from working on Sundays,
A NEGRO cAmr MEETING HYMN.
WHY don't YOU do NJ Peter did,
A-walking on the sea2
He throwed both arms above his head,
loo InT
Then remember the rich and remember the poor
And when YOU are done remembering eIouhu'
Then, good Lord, remember in"'
If could stand where Moses stood,
And view the landscape DER,
I'd throw these legs as fast as could
And I'd go for the milk-whiie shore.
Then remember the rich and remember the poor,
And remember the bound snd lrec,
And when you are done renbcrlnB hIouhu'
lhen' s''' '''''' -Chicago Tribune.
BIrRLISGToN Hawkeye; Mrs. Astor,
when she wants TO feel dressed, wears
million dollars worth of diamonds at
time. and when a hotel clerk or a min
streI end man passes near her, his unusu
alIv magnificent cluster just shrinks and
folds itself up until it looks as If he had
only spilled a drop of molasses on his
shirt front.
A NORTHERN Iowa farmer offered
tramp his daughter and hall his farm iOr
three days work in the harvest held.
The tramp wavered little at tirst, but
then the color of the girls eyes didn't
suit. and he thought the farm laid lit
tie too low. so decline the proposition,
stole a hame strap and went on his work
less way.
ONE .WoMAF's DREssEs.--A letter
from Saratoga gays: A young lady
came into the States parlor this morning
with her twenty-eighth dress. She has
been here fourteen days, and has dis
nIaved a fresh toilet every morning and
evening. These dresses cost on an aver
ace s125 a piece, or about $500 for the
Ipt During this time her father has