The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-08-31
BACK TO MY OWN.

One doesn't come to suicide all at
once except in love affairs, think. The
idea had haunted me for three months.
First, it was thought whose entrance
into my heart shocked me, and was
thrown out in high haste. Then ma
terial objects began to tempt Inc. |
got afraid of my medicine-case-there
were certain little bottles there that took
on a srage fascination. Then the times
grew harder, and [ never crossed a
bridge but something said, " Drowning
is an easy death to die, Set your foot
quick on the firm shore, Lawrence
Lysle, or never on the shore shall you
set foot againl"
Well, l wrestled with and fought it
for time, then dallied with it, and
then hugged it, and here was, a man,
able bodied and all that, and about to
kill myself because l couldn't get bread
to put into my mouth.
/ suppose hunger made me a little
q, light headed. At any rate, the strong
est feeling / had, as l sat over my last
stick of wood, with my pistol in my
hand, was that it really was a most
stupendous joke that / should be freez-
ing and starving and about to take my
own life. The idea of dining off Sevres
and silver one New-Year's day, and
committing suicide the next for want
of crust! ......... ...-a
! had a strange feeling at the moment
of being not one, but the three-the me
of olden times, the me of latter days,
and the me contemplating the two per-
SonnelS, as one might a couple of his
own photographs.
"Iou were a gay, deb0nGtr sort of
fellow" | said, turning to one of them,
" and merry dance you made of life ;
and If were to introduce you to this, -
turning to the other, cit would be
something after this fashion: self to
self's ghost.
At this moment a most remarkable
thing happened-a most unusual thing
my office-bell rang. l laid my pistol
by with a whispered "wait," and an
swered the summons.
recognized the porter of the Darby
House as 1 opened the door.
"Yees wanted at the hoOse," he said,
in his Irish brogue, "there's a grand
Teddy sick there, an sirt Cor yees."
every well, Tim," l answered, as
nonchalantly as if "grand leddies''
were in the habit of sending for Doctor
Lysle at all hours, 81 will be along di-
rectlyn
As | stepped back into my room for
my overcoat, the pistol shining on the
shelf seemed somehow a very different
thing from what it had few moments
before. | even was conscious of lit
tie shudder as / glanced that way, and
as walked along over the crisp snow,
the bracing air seemed to rouse me as
from nightmare.
But if | had any vision of achieving a
professional reputation from the diff
Guilty of this case, they were dissipated
as | entered one of the parlors of the
Darby House and saw my patient. New
en- was the seal of perfect health more
plainly set on lip and cheek, or display
ed in the full flowing of woman's
form than in hers who awaited me,
half reclining in deep luxurious arm
chair.
Doubtless my face betrayed my as
tonishment, for she said, with shade
of embarrassment in her voice:
You are right, Doctor Lysle, l am
no more sick than you are. And yet,
for reasons which can not explain, but
which assure you are not in the Slight
est degree reprehensible, wish to ap-
pear so. If you will only treat me as
nearly as possible as you would if l
were afflicted with violent pneumonia,
/ will be very, very much obliged"
hesitated little, more from aston
ishment than from anything else.
al pledge you my word you shall
never regret it, nor l." she added,
proudly. tlr1
just then a servant entered. A well
simulated expression of pain crossed
her fair face, and she put her hand
quickly to her side. ~
There was no time for further con.
sideration; / accepted the situation.
s.The pain is almost constant now, /.
it moi ?'' I said, gravely, Then seating
myself st the table, and remarking tina