The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-10-13
FACTS AND FASCIES.

@N'
IT is a good and safe rule to sojourn in
every place as though you meant TO
spend your life there, never emitting an
opportunity of doing a kindness, of
. speaking a true word, or making friend.
A DEBATER severely questioned as to
the reason of his net paying just debt
replied. Solomon was very wise man,
and Samson was very strong man, but
neither of them could pay his debt with
out money"
THE spirit of Lord Byron was inter-
viewed in New York the other day. He
didn't appear so much interested in the
progress of his monument as in Mrs.
Stoves health. He's waiting for her on
the shining shore.
al HAVE no hope of his recovery;
know his physician very WELL" said
uncle Daniel Drew when asked his opin-
ion of Commodore Vanderbilts pros
r poets, entirely unconscious that be was
making a very neat mot.
A FUND has been raised in England
for the family of John Chiddy, who saved
an express train at the expense of his
own life. He saw a large stone on the
track, and by great effort rolled it away,
but could not himself get off the track
before the engine struck him.
BEcAusE you flourish IN worldly affairs
Don't be naughty and put on airs
WITH insOlent pride and station
Don't be proud and turn up your nose
At poor people I'm planer clothes;
But learn, for the sake oi your mind Teposel
That wealth is n bubble that comes and gOesl
And that all proud flesh wherever it grows,
Is subject to iTriationi -Sdro.
Mrs. TILLoTsoN, the dress refcrmer,
says: "If / was betting man I'd be
willing to bet $4,000 that these dry
goods merchants hate us because we are
likely to spoil their business by shorten
ing our skirts"
AN Indiana man, who saw his wife fall
off the bridge into a millpond, never hes
itated a moment about his duty, but
with that noble impulse so CHARACTERISTIC
of the sex darted down the road and
prevented anybody from coming up to
witness the narrowing pectacle.-Broob-
! Ign Argus.
THE other day n would-be fashionable
lady called at a neighbours at what she
| thought would be supper time. Come
! in," said the neighbor; eve are having
a tableau." al am so glad" said the
visitor. "I thought | smelt 'em, and
like them better than anything for
supper"
You see men Of the most delicate
frames engaged in active professional
pursuits, who literally have no time for
illness. Let them become idle, let them
take care of themselves, let them think
of their health, and they die. The rust
rots the steel which use preserves.
A WELL known American comedian is
said TO have a habit of biting his finger
nails. He also has n small daughter.
The other day that dear childo' delib-
erately pared her fngerHails, and, in the
innocence of her heart, approaching her
comical progenitor, " Papa! said she,
"here are some nails for you to eatl"
A WESTERN paper has published one
stanza of sixty-three which had been
contributed on that rare subject. "The
buties of nacher," and promised 70 give
the other sixty-two if its readers desired
to see them. The opening stanza was:
Go see what have sawn,
Go feel what have felt.
Walk in the fields at early dawn
And smell What have smelt.
THE French who settled in Canada
formed one of the happiest, best-ordered
and most peaceful communities in the
world, and after a history of a hundred
years, and after suffering conquest by
the English, that community remains
French, still unabsOrbed, with life and
a society and a mental atmosphere all its
own.
BoNIFACE BRAsENosE Gan amiable but
aesthetic youth, exhibiting his art treas
ures THAT s-a-mother and child, a
--a-fifteenth century" fashionable
lady-"I should have thought it earlierW
Boniface BrasenOse-"A-may l ask
why?' fashionable lady-"Oh, / should
have thought they could paint better
than that so late as the fifteenth century,!
CHARLES DICKENS said that "the first
external revelation of the dry rot in men
is tendency to lurk and lounge; to be
at street corners without ineligible rea-
son; to be going anywhere when met;
to be about many places rather than
any; to do nothing tangible, but TO have
an intention Of performing number OF
tangible duties tomorrow or the day
after"
A LADY wearing n wash-bOwl hat,
patent spring tilter, one OF the latest,
while visiting relatives in the country,
took a walk one fine morning. Two ex-
tremeIy youthful rustics who were gam
boiling in a field, saw her as she passed,
and after staring in astOrishment for
moment, one of them managed to eiacu-
late: "Sneak home and get yer shot
gun. Bill, that things 'scaped from
circus"
A Howard street small boy was 10
unfortunate as TO remark at the break
fast table, the other morning, oh, dear,
I'm so sweaty " quite to the horror OF
a youthful aunt. Being Teprovod for the
use of so inelegant a term, he replied:
i'Oh. yes, know all about il. They talk
IF a horse as being swcaty; when IL il
man he 'persTires,' but young ladies like
you only glow
NIEMANN had to sing during the first
act of Die Walkuerc" near fire which
emitted dense smoke, and dur.
ing a rehearsal one day the singer com
planned to Wagner, al cannot sing in
that smoke" he observed: ] shall be
,uffocated." But you must" said Wag-
ner; 4 can't put the fire out. The
smoking and singing must occur at the
same time" well" replied the artist,
u make the chimney sing and l will
smoke"
The first party of painted savages who
raised few huts upon the Thames dld
not dream of the London they were Gre
nting, or know that in lighting the fire
on their hearth they were kindling ono
Of the great focils Of Time. All
of the grand agencies which the progress
Of mankind evolves are iOund IN the
same unconscious way. They are tie
aggregate result of countless single Wills,
each of which, thinking of his own end,
and perhaps fully gaining il, is at the
same time enlisted by Providence IN the
secret service of the world.
"You must not smoke here, sir J"
said the captain of North River steam
boat TO a man who was smoking among
the ladies on the deck. "I mustn't? Fla!
WHY not ?" replied the fellow, opening
nis capacious mouth and allowing the
,moke to escape slowly. Didn't you
zee the notice: Gentlemen rrc requested
rot to smoke abaft the engine y
. Bless your soul that doesn't mean mel
am no gentleman-never pretended u
can't make gentleman Of me
anyhow you can fix it," So saying, he
,uffed away and took the responsibility.
VICTOR EMMANUEL's GUARDs.-Al-