Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1876-04-06
The Candidate for Ottice.

When | walked down street next
day the perception of my new rela-
TOPS with the public surpl ised me
like the shock OF geld bath In
stead Of my cold and somewhat shy
Difference habitnally accorded to in
dependent position and reserved
manners, | was every where accosted
with an easy and aggressive famili-
arity. My right hand was crushed
with the cordiality of fellows whose
names were unknown to me, and my
ribs ached with the friendly pokes OF
people whose former acquaintance
had never transconded distant nod.
Tom introduced me to his neighbor
Dick, and Dick prerented his friend
Harry, and Harry called up my fel-
ow-ciuzans Rsgtag and Bobtail, aud
everybody wanted TO know my op-
pinion on all imaginable subjects
grangers, railroads, local options
free schools, Cuba, the next Presi.
deucy, ana what not.
| was seriously embarrassed at
finding myself for the first time face
TO face with a constituency, but was
humanely relieved by Bally McCue,
who stepped up and whispered in my
ear, confdentialIy, "Yon can answer
all them questions most satisfactory
in one word-treatp
"a friend in need is q friend in>
deed" and by authority my com
mittee- man led The constituency in
to the next grocery. Then | was
followed by beyy of little girls col
Letting for the mite society, who
pertly demanded dollar from the
candidate. Rejecting that little girls
bane fathers who have votes. /
called up a sweet blushing maiden
who was madestly hanging back,
and gave her the dollar, with q pat
on the head and q compliment added
This was observed, and at the
next corner / was boned by maid
en- aunt of one of the little girls for
contribution to the heather. Ger
tainly, | profoundedly pity the hea-
then, especially those whose lot is on
our borders.
| escaped into friendly store; but
there the proprietor spred his stock
OF silks on the counter, insisting |
should select dress for madam TO
wear OF the capital next Winter.
Only sixty.five dollars pattern. L
declined: hadn't the money. every
proud to have your name on our
books" said be, bundling up the
dress and sending it off by a boy
without my daring to object.
| was next obliged to buy a raw
boned, spawned, wind-broken horse
to electioneer on, because warm
friend and voter insisted on il. A
hurley fellow claimed 50 CT me for a
load of worm-eaten pine wood he bad
thrown off at my door without say
Jag "By your leave" although he
knew / particularly desplsed that
kind Of fuel
fastening homeward, was way
lsyed by disagfeeabIe. peak-nosed
elder who had seeded from the
Methodist society, and was trying to
get up an opposition meeting house
to divide our poor little community.
Knowing how l contemn him and
his enterprise, be now asserts bis adj
vantage, and thrust his grey sub.
scription paper under my nose. with
| the remark nthat candidates for pu b.
lie favors are expected to be liberal. =
fork over twenty dollars With 1
groan. Yesterday | was impressed
with the belief that the public
Through its committee" was sole
itiDga favor from M; today th'
booftseems to be on the other leg. =
"P5rfe Crayon,' in HarperS Maya
zine for February.