The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-09-27
Certain that the strain of amusement

face betokened a duel without trage-
dy, we women clamored for the story.
81 had gone" said Capt. Porter,
obeying beautifully at once, swith
half-a.d0zen other fellows, all navy Of
Ulcers, to spend a week at Shrewsbury,
la little half-pony town in Jersey
here; and one evening, as we were
sitting in the bar-room of the tavern,
smoking, telling anecdotes, and talking
between whites with the natives, who
should come sauntering in but old
Boyle:
ANY room for me 2 he asked.
"'Why, yes; come in, we all cried;
and we were soon telling him the news,
Boyle in turn relating his adven-
lures, perhaps romancing a little, and
at last ending with
"'Well, anybody here worth know
ing?'
ayes answered: there is one
Jersey giant, feet 2 in his stockings,
and the greatest bully on record
"'Ah! what's his name!'
6 That's the best of it. His name
is George Washington Kosciusko Peter
Bonaparte Solomon Job Slimcum.'
'Phebus what a name = exclaimed
Boyle, bursting out laughing. what
is the gentleman's profession!
'He spends his time cultivating a
bean-patch, threatening the poor vii
layers, and brow-beating the women,
and Children
'Does-does he? Well, he's the
very boy for me. I wish he would
come in. I'd like to have talk with
him.
"sWhy, my dear fellow said I,
he'd make three of you. Fact is, we
all keep to the windward side of him
mo use getting shot for such a land
lubber.'
SAT this a lanky party with por-
pentous nose, who had been listening
to every word, remarked through his
nose
*Wa'al, I s'pose you naval men
think yourselves thunderin' brave, but
I kin tell you our Curnel could fight all
on you to onst, with his right hand
tied behind him. You naval men
needn't think you're goin' to 'nopolize
all the brass and bluster.''
"Boyle's ears picked up at this, for,
as you know, Rowan, he is a regular
old sea-lion, afraid Of nothing, from
p0Wder-mOnkey to a sea-serpent at sea,
and a mouse to an elephant on shore.
So he bounced around on our nasal
friend and snapped out at him, like a
pugnacious bull-terrier.
"'What's that Want to try our
brass and buster! Where's your big
gun? Trot him out. I'd like to see
him.
/ eo1 h1 SO
with a sort of snort of triumph and,
sure enough, in staggered the round
shouldered, putty-faced giant. He
had tufts of dry grass for beard,
large, flabby, pusillanimous nose, small,
oblique eyes, and two hay-colored dabs
| of hair, one on each temple, known
to the scientific explorers of the New
York Bowery Us 'soap-locks.' He was
eating peanuts or popcorn as he en-
tered and, jerking chair round, he
threw himself into it with contempt
tuous nod to his company, and ordered
a glass of toddy hot, in voice of
thunder.
"Little Boyle sat quiet, watchful,
observing a curious smile csrving
his good-humored mouth while the
other, half shutting his eyes, with an
air of lofty disdain, slowly slipped the
hot toddy.
.ss'Oh, pshaw!' sneered our nasal
friend, in a whisper to Boyle; ''you
darsn't tackle him. He'd make you
look womblescroft in jiffy.''
''But Boyle, seeming not to hear this
impertinence, turned to us, saying,
with a lazy air, I'm going to see if
there is any grit in hlm;' and, ap-
preaching the chair upon which Col.
George Washington Kosciusko, ETC.,
reclined, he perched himself on the
edge of. tho table near, and said,
pleasantly, "Good-evening, sir
'''Who are you, sir 2 returned the
other, with viperlsh look out of his
slant eyes.
"'I'm gentleman, and my name is
Junius Rrutus Boyle
t'And my name is George Washing
ton Kosciusko Peter Bonaparte Solomon
Job Slimcum, and you'd better mind
what you're about
! II will, thank you. I understand
that you are pretty considerable Of a
fellow
ssSir, you air a ruther free an easy
sort of a cuss ruther too forrard.'
eyes, oh yes. I might be as stiff as
the North Pole, or as distant as
two mile-stoncs but then, you know,
the other is my way
"Wa'al sir, I don't like your
way
:'No! How queer! Well, I won't be
disobliging, and I give you permission
to lump it, Them
''sir, you air-yop air sassy. You'd