The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1876-08-24
FACTS AND FANCIES.
BAYARD TAYLOR is the author of the
following dangerous parody;

following dangerous parody;
Who're the MoosetocknagunlIc
Pours ts waters In the Skuntic,
Met along the forest Hids
Hiram Hoover, lluldah Hyde.
She a maiden fair and dappcr,
lie, red.haTcd, stHlwari trapnor
Hunting beaver mink and skunk,
In the woodlands Oi Squedunk.
She Pnwtuckot's penslye daughter,
Walked beside tho Skuntir water
Gathering, in her apron wet
SnakcrOOt, mint aud bouncing bet
"Why" he murmurcd, 10th to leave her,
"GathCr yRrhs for Chills and fever,
when loyycr bold and true
only waits to gather your"
fear God, and next to God | chiefly
fear him who fears Him not,-S0Gd
How far that little candle throws its
beams! 50 shines good deed in a naugh-
ty world.-ShdhPeare,
THE bugs that are eating carpets in
the northern states are thought to como
from the nests of sparr0ws, which are
said to swarm with them.
THE grave is, suspect, the sole com
monwealth which attains that dead fiat
of social equality that every principle 50
heartily abhors,-BUirer LyttOm
A YOUNG lady ON being asked what
business her lover was in, and not liking
to say the bottled soda, answered, "llc's
a practicing ii2aiciNn,"
BRET lIARTE's play, "Two Men of
Sandy Bar" was withdrawn in Chicago
at the end of week, and is to he extern
sivcly altered before it is again acted.
Miss MARKS, of Fremont county Iowa,
who elopcd with Rev. DR., Robinson last
tll, has repentcd, and now asks the
protection Of the strong arm of the law
and its assistance to secure her justice.
Robinson was a married man, and Miss
Marks claims that she was deceived.
CYNICAL citizen 10 waiter, after sur
vcying the glass of milk he had ordered
81 say waitaw, Would you he 50 kind
now, me boy, as to put a little NOR milk
in this wattah? Jus triIlc please u
The waiter rctircS TO consider whether
the man is drunk or crazy,
"ALrHoNso, dear, what is the differ.
ence between our Thanksgiving and those
revolving Turkish provinces" Really
Clcmcntina, ! cannot say. What IL it?'
"Why you see, here we have turkey in
christians; there they have christians in
Turkey
DoRsoN says at there is one thing
more than another which makcsa Skepti-
cal mortal believe in eternity and things,
and especially eternity it is to sit IN
church while the minister p0gs away on
thirtccnthly and listen to Il neighhoring
congregation sing the doXology' but
then Dobhins always was a little opposed
to protracted meetings.
HIS teeth began to chatter over the
ice cream. He huttonCd up his jacket
and swallowed another mouthiul. That
settled it,. He jumped up from the table
and started to whore the sun could shine
ON him, cxclainlng, "Whoope Plenty
cold grub No cooke nul! Fleece
Chinaman all same like ice wagon.'
A PENNSYLVANIA philosopher is of
the opinion that petroleum is the rcSu It
of Goldfish. Yes, Goldfish, These fish
were once plenty in the ocean which coy
cred the place where Pennsylvania now
IL. They were caught by a certain ava
Ianchc of land, and the millions of decay
ing Goldfish caused the petroleum oil.
This accounts for the saltwater found in
oil wells, being the result of salt goldfish.
It also accounts tor the resemblance ol
petroleum to cod liver OIL and the num-
her of fish stories told of immense for
tunes which were never realized.