The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-08-10

your digestion?
Bless you, sir, l have no digestion at
ALL"
You have plenty to eat?" said the doc
tor.
YES, but it seems to do me no good. ~
/" I see your case at glance,' respond
ed the doctor. You're a teacher, per-
haps:'
"Is your school in your house?"
Next door,
"What are your amusements
Il amuse myself with my books"
do you walk ~
"Yes-to my school-room."
Then your only recreation is to eat and
drink: ~
That's about ALL"
And no exercise but to whip the boys,
eh? Now, isn't it odd that you should
have the same complaint as these friends
here, and that YOU should need the same
medicine? That's the fact. A regular
physician would tell you that you eat too
much and move about too little; you put
out the fire with too much fuel and too
little stirring. Of course your food dis
haven't any digestion. But l know it
would be only humbugging you to make
you think you could change your habits.
That's what you don't uant to do, and you
come for the Sovereign Sirup because you
know you can't do better. i think it's the
best thing you can do to pay me five dol
lars month, and," whispered he, I'm
take back the bottles at three dollars a
dozen, if the labels are clean). If you
were of mind to take in this young man
and divide your meals with him, both of
you would be about right. But then you
would rather feel full and stupid than
hungry and bright at any time; know it
as we'll as you do. So take this whenever
You feel stupid, and the oftener the better
Five dollars, if you please-or will you
have half dozen:'
The next patient was fine looking
man, 'apparently clergyman, with Grape
upon his hat and grief upon his face. He
had been broken down by sudden sor-
rows, and his crushed heart oyerrun with
cares and duties and necessarily drained
by over-sensitive sympathies for the suf-
ferings he found about him, was unable
to recover itself. He had fallen into a
morbid, nervous state, in which he
passed alternately through extreme men
tai excitement and profound moral de-
spondency.
Now, my dear sir" said DR.. Specific,
see how admirably the SOverei On Sirup
works. \ regular physician would tell
you you must leave your duties and 60
abroad to recuperate. Your life is all up
in your brain, and you have no force left
You ought to go away and leave your
head behind you, a physician would say :;
but know you won't do that-you've no
heart to go, you've no means. Your con-
science won't let you leave the tread-mill
where you are killing yourself, and you
know as we'll as l do how little use it is
to reason with conscience. But you know
the power of faith; you want something
to believe in, and the Sovereign Sirup is
just that thing. Take it every day, and
only believe it is doing you good, and it
surely will do you good
The next man was merchant, a tai, ,
stalwart person. One would have thought
it impossible that he should complain of
dyspepsia. But he could eat nothing in
the morning. Ii he took food, his stom-
ach rejected it. 1t was noon before he
was fit for anything. He had terrible dis
treSses.
Now, my friend,' said the doctor,
you have splendid teeth, are not over
run with work, neither starve nor surfeit,
have not been broken in nerves, and yet
isn't it odd You need just the same medi-
cine as ouretriends here. Perhaps you
drink very hard at your evening dinner;
perhaps you have to be put to bed three or
four nights in a week by your servant;
perhaps you are so quiet about it that your
friends are almost ignorant of your vice,
and you manage it so adroitly that you
are never the worse for liquor in the
daytime, yet your wife knows you are dy-
ing of drink. But if her cries and tears
do not stop you, what's the use of a regu-
lar physician to advise you: There's no
hope for you but to take the Sovereign
Sirup, which is good for dyspepsia in all
its forms. There's only one disease after
all that's said. Isn't it odd, now? A reg
ular physician would talk to you in vain
about stopping the cause of this trouble;
but you know that's no use as we'll as l
do. What's the use of paying doctors
bills to be told to do what we don't want
to do, or not to do what we are going to
do: That's what l call swindling the
public, to practice on that principle. What
you want is something to make you feel
better, and steady your nerves in the
morning and quiet your stomach and
brace you up till dinner time, when you're
all right again. My medicine won't in
terfere with your diet. That's what call
scientific practice. It's all one disease.
What's wanted is something to operate on
the mind.
With that the doctor came to the last
one, pitiable object, who sat with eyes
cast down and fingers nervously playing
1t was a wreck-a wreck deserted, vacant,
hopeless, but still floating about, tossed on
I I1p Of ri hi
er and thither in the eddying currents of
vice. It was phantom of a man. The
only semblance of reality it possessed was
the reality of wretchedness.
Good Heavens!" said DR.. Specific, in
a reverent tone, with pity, "achot mercy
1t IS eehem acrecks 90 to the 6ottom!!"
Doctor said the wreck, "you'rc
right. Yours is the scientific practice.
We don't want to know what is the matter
with us. We want something to take.
Don't ask me any questions. Don't give
me any advice. l can't stop. l must go
on, but want something to oil the wheels.
Will your medicine do me any good?"
My friend,' said the doctor, won't
deceive you. l have never tried it in so
extreme case as yours; but, you see, it's
all one disease, and what is good for
must be good for you. This l
can say, that if my Sirup don't save you,
nothing will"
As the doctor took the last fve-dollar
bill, he asked the gentlemen each to give
him a little certificate of the success with
which he had treated their cases. The
clergyman Immediately arose. "My
friends" said he, addressing them, II
think it is due to DR.. Specific that we
should give him our certificate before we
go. 1t is true that we have not tried his
medicine yet, but we have taken his adj
vice and understand his system; and it is
my practice to give letter of recon-
mendation whenever get an opportunity.
If the doctor will write now, we will each
tell him what to say
"Certainly,'' said the toothless old
farmer. II can say that the DOCTORS adj
vice has saved me a great deal of suffering
and expense"
For me-" said the over-worked man
OF business, "write that DR.. Specific has
enabled me to go on with my business as
usual, when other physicians had given
me up unless stopped work, and that I
consider he has saved me thousands of
dollars"