Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-10-25
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

are lovely quotation from the coun-
try"
ut Is not the great burdens or sor.
rows of life that kill; it is the constant
fret and worry at nothing that wears
us out.
The young lady who called at
bookstore for Drake on Attach
ments," was disappointed to find it
merely a law book.
1t has been noticed that those who
talk most against mothers-in-law are
usually very bad class of sons-in-law.
Chicago Joufnal.
-" Who's runnin' for President
over herey' innocently inquireda New
York rustic who crossed Lake Cham
plain into Vermont the other day.
An Irishman at the Centennial in
CURED for the Irish art gallery. He
had heard there was 4 picture there
by his countryman, Mike Langelow.
The latest advance in refining the
English language is, instead of saving
he "is raising the old Harry to
remark that he "elevating the ancient
Henry"
Mechanically considered, the
man who comes home from DAVIS
fishing without any fish may be put
down as an obtuse angler. Portland
advertiser.
1t is apt to shake mans conf
dence in his wife to awake in the early
morning and find her sitting on the
edge of the bed going through his pock-
cts. Fulton Times.
"A lively girl had bashful lover,
whose name was Locke. She got out
OF patience with him at last, and in
her anger, declared that Shakespeare
had not said one-half as many things
as he ought to about Shy-Locke.
When circus agent loses his $500
diamond pin he doesn't squander dol
lar by advertising it. He simply in
closes forty cents in letter and sends
1t to New York establishment with
instructions to send him another just
like the last.
1t pleaseth the Courier-J ournal to
remark "a Chicago man has been
vainly doing his level best to sell a lot
IN that city for $4,000, one third cash,
and yet, when he got that same lot five
years ago for $l4, 500, he was so proud
OF his bargain that he wanted to hire
parcel of men at two dollars and half
day to congratulate him."
The English are prejudiced against
green-bearded oysters, though they
contain nothing deleterious, the green
beard being produced by a vegetable
matter called crow slk-weed. The
consequence is that these oysters, bred
within fifty miles of London, are all
exported to Paris, and there devoured
eagerly by English tourists as huitres
certs q Ostende.
An honest citizen is stopped on his
way home one dark night by foot
| pad, but drawing his revolver, lays the
robber dead mt his feet. He is about
| to move away, when a thought strikes
him, and returning to the corpse he
examines its pockets. In them he
finds four gold watches, roll of bills,
and some small change. Slowing
them in his pockets, the honest citizen
goes his way, remarking: mot so
bad, after all. "-Paris Figaro.
W, do you know why you are
like a donkey?" Like a donkeyv'
echoed W, opening his eyes wide.
"No, don't" because your bet
ter-half is stubbornness ITSELF
"That's not bad. Ia! ha! I'll give
that to my wife when ] get home"
"Mrs. W." he asked, as he sat
down to supper, edo you know why
am like donkey?' He waited mo-
ment expecting his wife to give it up.
But she didn't. She looked at him
somewhat commiseratingly as she an
swered: 81 suppose you were born
So
The Austrian Government has pub
| lished decree in regard to the traffic
| in poisors, declaring the following sub
| stances to be included under the term
poison: 1. Arsenic and all its COM
pounds. 2. Chlorides and oxides OF
antimony. .. Oxides and salts, in
Guiding the chlordes, iodides, and
bromides of mercury. 4. Ordinary
phosphorus. S. Bromine. 9. Prussic
acid and preparations containing it, al
so all cyanides, with the exception OF
those containing iron. 7. All violent
ly active preparations made from
poisonous plants and animals, or man
ufactured artiiicially, such as the al.
kaloids, curare, cantharides, etc.
y esterday morning traveller by
one of the railroad trains brought to
the city a porcupine of large size,
Gagged in a roomy box, with pieces OF
board placed across the top at inter
vale of ahout an inch and half in
order that the animal might have as
much air as possible. His owner sat
the box down near the ticket-office
while attending to some other matter,
and it attracted little attention. BY