The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-01-29
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

FACTS AND FANCIES.
-Califonians say they can tell an
Eastern man as soon as he makes pur-
chase. If there's two cents change COM
ing to him he wants it.
Another "brilliant wedding" This
young man with flower on his coat lie
to marry the young woman with the
habit of saying "The ide-yah."
Distant relations People who imag-
inc they have claim to rob you If you
are rich, and to insult you If you are
poor.
Patti has so many diamonds that it
takes one man constantly to watch them,
either at home or abroad, and double
care is taken while travelling.
The price of squaws has declined on
he approach of winter, One can now
be purchased for seven dollars in cash
and a pound of powder.
The New York Herald will have its
Stanley letter about once in SO often even
if some one in the Office has to consult
map of Africa and write it.
Politics is the same all over. The
man who runs for constable is just as
soundly abused by the papers as the man
who runs for congress.
=" What does Good Friday mean? 2"
asked one schoOlboy of another. You
had better 90 home and read your Rob-
inson Crusoe," was the whitening reply.
Sergeant Bates is alone and penniless
IN Canadian city, and Canadians never
give anybody anything. The whirligig
is about to get in its work.
If your horses have the epizoot, dis
seave teaspoonful of crystal chlorate of
potash in bucket of water, this amount
making morning dose for four horses.
Henry Rohlfng, marksman of st
Louis, jumped to the conclusion that he
saw squirrel in tree. His neighbor,
Peter Geimer, now affects the perpendic..
ular attitude while at meals.
The large man in the black hat who
goes into offices and asks for pencil and
slip Of paper to write few words, and
then barries off the pencil-he will never
so to heaven.
The Princess Frederick, daughter of
the eX-King of Hanover, is said to be
without doubt the most beautiful prin-
cess IN Europe. She is the devoted COM
panion Of her blind father.
An Omaha man is in st. Louis with a
steam chicken-hatcher. Three weeks are
required to bring out the chickens, and
it takes gallon and half of coal Oil to
produce $50 Of the little orphans.
"A Dutch assessor says it spositively
amusing how cheap property becomes as
he passes up or down street. It falls
seventy per cent. whenever he enters a
house.
The Rev. Henry Morton's sermon on
Seventeen Reasons Why Men Don't Go
Ito Church is ikened by wise people to
That famous song with 400 verses The
first reason why men don't go to church
is because they don't want to, and the
seventeenth reason is the same.
The reason why dog always turns
around three times when he gets up
after nap has not yet been discovered,
nor has the reason been ascertained why
young lady is more afraid of a mouse
than is married woman. Here are
hints for debating societies.
Various American artists who have
been living and working abroad during
the past ten years have returned home,
convinced that American cities afford
better market for their work than all
Europe.
The cruelest joke that happened this year
Was that of the cheeky passenger
Who passed counterfeit shinplasteer
On an innocent horse-car conductor,
And then slipped out of the car at the rear
And round the corner waltzed off on his ear.
"A Paris writer is wondering what
becomes of all the lost children in Paris.
He says: The newspapers record their
disappearance almost daily. Two quar-
tiers ought to be we'll looked after, espe-
cially as their operations are now very
actiye-the sausage-making machines and
he schools of medicine"
The St. Louis Times revives dear
old memories by remarking: "There are
young men who cannot hold skein of
yarn for their mothers without wincing,
but will hold one hundred and twenty
five pounds of neighboring family for
the best part of the night with patience
and docility that are certainly phe-
nomenal. +"
Edwin Booth has discovered some
thing new during his confinement from
his broken arm which he will introduce
into his next impersonation of " Hamlet"
1t is that in Hamlet's time no such thing
as velvet was known, and Hamlet's dress
on Booth hereafter will be stripped Of
velvet.