davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

A colored man living on Fort street ha,
sign on his house reading: "Meals for
eight cents" The sign attracted the atten.
ton of hungry man of color the other
day, and he stepped in and said hc would
havca dinner. A slice ofbrcad and a bowl Of
water was placed on the table and he was
told to. draw up.
"What sort of a meal is dat?'' he dc.
mandod, drawing away instead Of drawing
up.
"Dat's an cight-ccnt meal, my fricnd."
Z" isn't prepared to squar' off in front Of
no such dinner" growIcd the stranger,
getting out doors.
at isn't no festival, dat's true" rcplicd
the proprietor, e" but when dc price is limi.
ted down to eight cents you must spec dc
food will be limited down about two
courses. Oars bread, and dars water. and
if you want to make it ten cents I'll put on
dc peppcr-boX and a knife and fork?"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Barnum was overwhelmed at Providence
the other day by applicants for his auto
graph, and was surprised to learn, some
time after, that tho people had somehow
got the notion that card bearing his auto.
graph presnted at the ticket office would
insure the bearer ticket to his show.
Lots of people presented the cards and
were disappointed.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Leo. Miller, the free-lover of Minnesota,
"spiritual" brother to Vic. Woodruff and
"so-so" husband of Miss Matte Strickland,
lectured in the village of Waterford, Mimi,
a night or two since, on his "affinities,7 =
and was frequently encountered with
spoiled eggs. 1t is proposed to end this
mans mental misery by hanging him to q
derrick, if he ever comes back to town.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Never put much confidence in such as
put no confidence in others. Aman prone
to suspect evil is mostly looking for in his
neighbor what he secs in himself.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

That's what | call finished Sermon"
remarked man as he was coming out of
church. "Ics, finished at last replied
his neighbOr, though began to think it
would rever be-"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Keep your conscience tender-tendor as
the eye that closes its lid against an atom
OF dust, or as that sensitive plant which
you lave seen shrink and shut its leaf not
merely at the rude touch of a finger, but at
the breath of a moth.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

In a column Of receipts in an agricul-
tural paper we find one for making Belle
Cake, Several slices Of cucumber and
glass Of ice water will make nice stomach
ache; but the ingredients of the Belle
Cake are entirely difierent.-N9rr;s.oc.
HcraH
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Professor of astronomy (having called
the name of student who had been absent
from several recitations) y" Is c. sicll?"
Classmate (sotto voce) )-"Yes sick of astrono.
myr
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

If you want to spoil all that God gives
you, if you want to be miserable yourself
and a maker of misery to others, the way
is easy enough. Only be selfish, and it is
done at once.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

"Is the moon made of green cheese,
youngster2" "No, sir, certainly not"
" How do you prove that?" ooh, easy
the moon was made before the cows"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

All pleasure must be bought at the cx-
pense of pain; the difference between false
pleasure and true, is just this for the true,
the price is paid before you enjoy it; for
the false afterwards.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

There may not be gold, but there's no
question about the quantity of lead in the
Black Hills. Every Indian has gun full
of it, and isn't stingy.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

When old Mrs. Cadby read that "Iace
frllls are put on both edges of black velvet
dog collars she laid down the paper and
exclaimed: " Did anybody ever hear Of
such foolishncss! Why next they'll be
putting gold breast pins and striped stock,
ings on dogs!"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Opportunity is the flower of time; and
as the stalk may remain when the flower is
cut off, so time may remain with us when
opportunity is gone forever.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

There are only two gallons of whisky per
year manufactured for each inhabitant of
the United States, and it is a clear case that
somebody's got to go without. = Cincinnati
Times
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

A Spanish provcrb says, lie who would
bring home the wealth of tho Indies, must
carry the wealth of the Indies with him
So it is in travelling; man must carry
knowledge with him if he would bring
home knowledge.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Woman," said the fat man on the
cracker barrel, refectively, woman is like
boil. When another man has her we
laugh at him; when we have her oursclf
we cherish and protect her. Norwich
BnLLsliA.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

An Essex farmer is obliged to chalk his
nose every time he takes walk round the
farm, to save himself from and old bull
which has strong antipathy to red.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

A Chinaman spoke all the English he
knew in indianapolis the other day, and
was fined 81 for profanity.
1t is much easier to limit ones gratitude
than ones hopes and desires.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Success in any calling is the result Of 4
mans love of and belief in the work he
has undertaken. Earnest and conscicn-
tious labor often accomplishcs more, in the
end, than brilliant genius.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

A Whitehallcr with yormilion nose was
tormenting a lady about her age. "Just
look at met he exclaimed" don't I look
as if was just out of my teens?" "Yes,"
She replied, with look of triumph, "if
you mean canteens." His nose was quickly
put out Of Joint
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

lie smarts not under poverty who has
learned to be content, he frets not under
atiliction who is submissive to the Fathers
will, and lays aside his own. Keep your
desire within bounds.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05

Many complain of their memory, but
none complain of their judgment.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-05
THE YOUNG OLD Girl

many ruined life of womanhood, many a
wrecked marriage and distorted soul.
, 1876-06-18

no blood relations living, and that this fact ha&t
been frequently published In the newspapers In
this city ana county, and In Europe, and no per-
son had contra.licted the statement; that Mr.
Stewart had asked him tME. Hilton) to draw up
his will aud eodicils, and had dictated tbs
terms Of the same; that there was no
other person present, and that neither
be {lr. Huton) nor any other person ha1 irs-
1uenced afr. Stewart IN making his will and tho
codiciis attached that be knew Mr.. Stewa1t's d.
signs, and that any delay IN carrying out thcss
designs which might arise from this proceeding
OIL the part Of the petitioners would prevent for
the time the carrying out Of Mr.. Stewards in
structions and wishes, notably the completion
Q: the hotel for working women In this city, tho
Improvement of the Grand Union Hotel at Sara-
toga, and Of the Garden City property. Mr.
Stewart had conducted the largest business in
this country or probably in the world, and no
allegation Of mental incapacity could be-, OF haul
been, made.
Mr. Beach made lengthy argument In sup
port Ut the probate and against its revocation.
IN the course Of the address he made allusion to
the allegation that the case was got UP for the
purpose OF blackmailing.
MT baftlett at once arose and said: There is
notnlnS OF compromise in this I repudiate
and disclaim the charge here, now and forever.
The only compromise which will ever he
made by me or with my consent will
be tho decision that the viii was invalid.
Henry Hilton has not money enough to make
compromise, with my consent, Of this amount.
AM retained for TINT and nothing else, and
there shall be no compromise and no conditions
other than that
Mr.. Beach said II his counsel would 90 with
him be would prove to him that there hid been
the case was got up for aeomprornise anu to
1ery blaekn1a{f.
After argument Of counsel the Surrogate took
the papers, 1eserving his deeistpn-
, 1876-06-18
CASUALTIES.


Special Dispatch to The Tribune.
L4SA1LE, ILL.,, June 1.-THE Illinois River
has not risen any since noon Of to-day, ut wlicI,
time it measured q feet on the mitersill OF
Lock Is, the highest June food since that OF
1863. Immense damage has been done to the
bottom land. The corn crop, which covered
many thousands Of acres, and the bric.-yard OF
ton.
Special Hspdkch to TIE 1rl1uae
LACROSSE, Wis, June ia heavy r1in set
In Thursday evening which has continued to fall
necessarily ever since, and at this writing,
p. m, there is no sign Of Its abating. Between
3 and 4 inches Of water has fallen the past
foTty-eight hours, making country roads in this
section and west OF here, In Southern Minnesota,
next to impossible. The small streams In the
vicinity are beginning to act badly, and If the
water continues to come much longer serious
results will follow.
Special Nspdtch to Tie 1t1oune
QU1SCf, ILL.,, June 17--1t has rained here
incessantly for the last two days and nights,
vicinity has yet been reported, it is feared that
the wheat will suffer materially If the rain con-
tinues much longer. The railroads have thus
far escaped material injury. To the west Of
here the crops in some portions Of Missouri
have been damaged, and In some places totally
destroyed By high water.
AUGUSTA, Ga, June 17.-Rains for seven days
have been general throughout this section, and
the crops On both sides OF the Savannah River
have been submerged. There is total de-
struction OF crops on the bottom lands. The
river has risen 30 feet and is still rising, but the
rain has stopped.
, 1876-06-18

Tt Obeys Its Helm like "A Frlgate OF til
Lfne," and Shoots Through the Air llk
a Meteor.
The claimants aats'a fof asfosatc *f 1snown like thu
seekers after he philosophers stone ii old
and the secret OF perpetual motion in thss'
latter days, are neither lew dor lar be
tween, put somehow their claims thus 1al
havs proved sat oaseleSs fsa anu sneE visions o.
OF the Wild lunaties who only want Zone more
cog" OF "lust another screw" to perfect tht
maen'ne I Mhgn shati rlsal eternlty itselL but
Ffo1. sehtoe1c!l the 1nvenpos oi the atr-shlp,
aas none OF Tue appearance OF q visionary
ss man Of business who counts
ths cost OF an unuertaklng ,,:.;z eare1u11y, w
and never attempts imposslbillties. LIS
air-sflp, xh1ch Is now being built
At foEtletn r street e. ana GiIau avs
nue' = To- 2e 10, 10 ieee n+ lons leto Sn' anu ~ q
az eod eiptieal shape, iosg 50 let g II
the centre, and capable Of holding w, ,00o cubic
let Of r. hy110gen @ gas 1t WI be fastened TO the
sup ny 2oo hneS' some pRflgnt Z anu others
stretches str from a Gnu TO-. to ena, Iasse guys, as
thc Professor calls them, are calculated to keep
the balloon from sway1ng to anu fro, and
also 70 Keep II settihg snug 70 tue snip. Inc
latter Is frame OF lroh w1fs, shaped solnewnat
a. re o II
covered with canyas; vas: It viii haye two blades
m and turn on 2lneh steel eel shalt 10 1eet long
The motive power VIII be IN electro
magnetic engine OF E@horsc power, whach
Professor Nnale, o. tne foyteehnle,
to have an so-pound magnet There arc to O. be
three ruaders, one at ana NJ on each aiue: Ihe !s
stern ruuder' OF s1cel, AKc Tue propel!er, VII
be feet high and a. ieet deep, anu ths s'de
rudders, p1aged 1ittie forward OF t1e centre OF
n = Hnfn
, 1876-06-18
FOREIGN,
The Assassin Of the Turkish Min.
listers Hanged in Constan-
tinop|e.
French Newspaper Comment On The
Election Of Buffet to the Senate.
Riotous Demonstrations Renewed in the
Streets Of Antwerp.
THE EAST.


LONDON, June 17.-Dispatches state that
Hassan, the Turkish assassin, intended to kill
Avnt Pasha only. 1Iassan was known as de-
voted follower Of the late Sultan, and WIS for
merly aid-de-camp to his son, Yussuf, who Is
represented as attempting military revolution
M0STENBGRISs AND sERvn.
BERLIN, June 17.-The Montenegrins, wishing
to prevent the rcrictualing OF Music, Mukhtar
Pas1,a remains inactive to afford time for nego-
tlations. Baron Badich has again been to Sui
terina, to urge the insurgents to accept III Ar
mistice.
BELGRADE, June 17,-The Scryian Govern
nent's DECISION in favor Of pence Is opposed to
Of affairs Is becoming dangerous for Prince
Milan.
The Roumanian Government has arrested
several Scryians, and SerVia has sent an ener-
getic protest to Bucharest.
COMPLAINS or AUSTRIA.
CoNsTANTtSoPLE, June 1.-THE Porte has
decided to complain Of Austria for continuing to
Turkey.
SENTENCE SET ASIDE.
The sentence Of the courtrmartial at Salonica,
conlctnning the Governor Of that city to one
years. suspension from office, and three Turkish
officers to forty.ave days Imprisonment, has
ations OF France and Germany, the parties will
be tried ut Coustantinople on charges Of lack
Of energy and foresight.
HANGED.
CoSsTANT1NoPLE, June l7.-Hassan. the as
sassin, was hanged this morning.
MINISTERIAL APPOINTMENT.
CoSsrANT1sorLE, June 17.-Safuet Pasha has
been appointed Minister of Foreign Affairs,
Abdul kerim Naiiz Pasha Minister Of War, and
Hail Cherlf Minister Of Justice.
, 1876-06-18

The removal Of Commissioner Prindiyille from
the BOARD Of Public Works by the Locnm
Tcuens Of the Mayors office was considered and
discussed at great lcugth. It was held that the
seton Mas 1eo and merely srt h Rece
resolution was formally passed, 1t was under
tood that at least twenty-five Of the twenty
eir members Will sustain bfr. prindiytIlc,
r. vas held that he has been a most faithful
oficer, and the city just now cannot afford to
lose him.
TIE CHARTER or rs.
The petition recently presented to the Coun-
ri asking that they call special election for
The adoption or rejection Of the charter Of 1875,
petitions we're before the caucus. It was found
that many Of the names we're fictitious, those Of
noD-resdents, and forgeries. The whole docu-
ment Favored Of fraud. It was beggotten by
Colyin and his clique, only to be stuffed through
hy bis supporters for the 1ocum Tcnens' benefit,
these things we're all discussed and considered.
City-Attorney Tuthill WAS present at the delib-
erations, and the question arose US to the con-
stitutionality OF tho Inv which orders an cleo
ton to be called to vote on the adoption Of a
of the fact that the constitutionality of the law
vas tn doubt, the petition would be placed Oh
file, and no election ordered. In order to
accomplish this, 1t will be placed in the
hands Of. Of > SON committee It; Ct three who will
Detition he placed on file
II any one has any doubt OF the legality Of
such action, they are privileged to sue out a
writ OF mandamus to compel the Council to
order such IN election, and, until compelled to,
The Aldermen will let the matter rest. Should.
however, legal proceedings be taken, there are
a large number OF persons who will be ready to
svear that their names appear signed to
apetition, copy of which they never saw,
and they never authorized any one to sign their
names to it. The members OF the Council be-
lieye that the names on the petition are largely
fraudulent, and, therefore, will so consider it.
THE THIRD WARD REPUnL1CANs
Atameetlng Of the Third Ward Republican
Club last evening Mr. ?. Y. Fitzpatrick offered
the following:
WHEREAS, The City Council has ordered an cleo
ton to take place on the 18th day OF July, 1876.
fot Mayor Of The City Of Chicago: therefore, be il
choice Of the Third Ward Republican Club as can
didate for said Office OF Mayor.
The resolution was passed amid great enthu-
xiasm.
1lr. Aldrich thanked the Club for the compli-
ment- BE Slid that the city needed a good
Mayor He had been thoroughly disgusted with
what he had seen Of the present Locum Teucns.
he again returned thanks for the vote, which
be considered merely as complimentary.
Mf. Vail moved that committee of five be
appointed to notify the Central Committee Of
the action OF the Club, and tohelp carry out the
object Of the resolution.
The motion was carried, and the Chair an
pointed Messrs. Vail, Strong, Galloway, Carey,
and Grannis.
Mr. Clough moved that the City Central Com
mfttee be requested to call together the dele
gates to the Is st City Convention to nominate
q Mayor.
Lad over till the next meeting.
The Club then adjourned until next Saturday
eyeniuE.
, 1876-06-18
BENEVOLENCE.


Nere F0fk EEtning N1ff.
No doubt the exercise, II not the quality, Of
mercy has been badly strained by reason Of the
lattcr-tiay financial unpleasaatness- NeverEhe-
less, it IS gratifying to know that there arc
anlong Us hosts OF conscientious gfycrs whu
keep up their contributions to the various Or
ganizations which act IS aimone1s Of the heney-
olent masses So far Is We can sec, the eggre~
gate of money received last year by the great
national and local institutions representing
Christian and human work has not varied much
from the average, Notwithstanding the pressure
Of hard times. At all events, the sums report
cd By the different societies handsomely exhibit
the fact that faith and works have not been di-
vorced by the panic, and that, amid the w1de-
spread business depression, the business Of be-
nevolence has met with less check than we hud
reason to fear.
A compilation full Of practical interest is that
Of MIR. Lewis E. Jackson, Of the New York
City Mission and Tract Society, giVing the fg-
ures which show Just what was done i, this d.
rection last year, SO far as respects supplying
certain prominent channels Of beneyoic1lce and
Christian work We notice that leading na-
ti0nal societies report receipts aggreggating over
Sc, 000 600, and estimate Us to our local soctc
ties places their receipts at some 6t,000, 900
more. These figures are presented in detail Us
, 1876-06-18


Michael Downcy, New York cotton sampler
who for several years had lived with his wife
and three children at 2A Greene street, Green
point, had borne reputation for some months
for drunkenness aud cruelty to his family. he
was all Irish1nan so years Of age, and formerly
was carpenter. While n cotton sampler he
earned from $40 to 800 a week, and purchased
the neat two-story house In which he
lived. A year or two ago he began to drink and
steadily went down. Five or six weeks ago be
lost his position because he was 10 longer able
to do his work properly. Uc remained at home
much of the time, abusing his wife, until his
accusations that she was unchaste and his
threats to kill her and then kill himself became
the talk OF the ncighbors. Two weeks ago,
while bis eldest son, aged u, was at work fixing
8 grape-arbor In the yard. Downey picked 4
quarrel with him, and c]inchcd with him In .
fight Mr.. O'Rourke, who lives at Mo- 20G
Greene street, parted them. DoWney then &C
cuscd his wife Of putting her son up to xii! him
with hammer: Ills anger TOWARD hel anu l.ls
son seemed to increase from that time, and the
latter quit home to go to work In New York
Yesterday morning, Mrs. Downcy had dressed
her daughters, aged and 6 years, to 60 with
the Sunday-schooi OF St. Anthony's Roman
Catholic Church to picnic Downey objected
20, and Started them Oft in spite Of bis threats:
Downey left the house mutteziug threats against
her. Size went into Mr. 0'Rourke's house in tue
afternoon for protection, aud remained there an
hour and half About half-past O'Clock,
when she thought he had quieted down, she
started to 60 back to their house: lie met her
at the door, and as she came up the steps struck
her aud knocked her back on the grass-pjot
in front OF the house. He then went to-
ward her, the .neighbors who we're looking On
thought, to pick her up. Instead ne Grew
snglc-barreled pistol, placed it on the right side
Of her throat and fired. The ball passed in IN
der the jaw, and lodged in the spine. Ihe vile
lar unconscious and apparently dead.
Downey hurried inside the house, locking Tue
front door after him. The nclghbors we're try
ing to opcn tile door, when they heard the re-
port Of pistol Officers Tcriere and Mchellup
forced the door, and found DoWney stretched
across the bed in the back room OF the first
floor. with bullet in his heart. stngte-bar-
relied pistol Law on the carpet beside the bed.
There were powder marks on Ills uothlng on
the left side. 1.
Mrs. Downcy WIS unconscious Tor some tllne,
and when she was restored TO hef SENSES sue
said, "Oh, he has troubled me very much."
While tic throng were IN and about the house,
the daughters, A{ary and Sarah, returned nom
the picnic, and heard Of their fathers ueatn anu
their mothers danger. They cried pltnnlly.
The Coroner found two letters In the back room,
one addressed to himself, in which Oowney
wrote that he expected to put himself a1d ms
wife in the same place, and the other addressed
to Father Gould, saying that his vie naa ncen
faithless to him. This accusation s oea4cd oS
Airs. DoWney's friends.
, 1876-06-18

Spaulding was appointed to I'LL the vacancy in
the Department OF Botany and Zoology. Prof.
lsaac n; Demon was appointed Assistant Pro
Hutehins, resigned. John ". Langley was
Physics.
The meeting. continues next Monday, when
consideration OF the laboratory detalcation will
Investigating Committee Is to be received. Rose
is to make his defense, etc.
, 1876-06-18
NOTES AND NEWS.
BAKER TO he BOUNCED.

~ - A3- 3AA*O IN IL " Ss
BAKER TO he BOUNCED.
Special D,pasca to The Tribune
WASHINGTON, D. G.. June 17-The report Of
the Civt-Scrvtce Committee in the Blakeley-
Sweet matter was this morning submitted to
tue President. The President Immediately took
steps to secure the removal Of Gen. ]. H. Baker,
surveyor-Genera1 Of Minnesota, on account OF
the structures made upon him In the report in
connection with the matter. The Senators who
secured Barkcr's appointment have been re-
qucsted to designate the name OF his successor.
RAILROAD INVESTIGATION.
Acting under the authority OF a resolution re-
Gently passed by the House, the Committee on
Commerce yesterday entered upon IN inyestiga-
t1ons OF certain alleged unjust Determinations
praettced by railroad companies in the carrying
Of freight. The investigation bids fair to be Of
some considerable importance. Mr.. a. j. Cas-
SOFT, Third Vice. President Of tile Pennsylvania
Road who had been summoned to testify before
the Committee, was yesterday put upon the
stand, but very little progress was made in
his examination. In response to an inquiry, he
gave the various connections Of the Pcnnsylva-
mia Koad and other railroads, but when asked
to STATE the contracts Or agreements entered
tions for the control Of the freight traffic, he
declined to answer, stating that he wished Hrst
to consult the officers Of the road and its attor-
neys, He was also asked whether, when rates
WEIt OHCe tSG8Dll3HEu3 Lut foAu QeFl0Lcu ID Ia
vor Of Individuals or corporations, or, in other
words, whether one person or corporation is
charged more for the same service than an
other. These inquiries he also refused to an-
swer. The Committee to-day discussed tue
question rs to whether it should insist upon an
answer, but came to no conclusion.
INDICTED FOR BRIBERY.
To the Western Associated Press.
WASHINGTON, y. c., June 1.-THE. Grand
Jury have indicted Richard Harrington and
Arthur 3. Williams for bribery. The first is
charged with having, on the l2th Of October,
1878, while an Assistant United States Attorney,
received SIS, ,000 to have his decision and action
influenced in tic matter OF a motion for new
trial by Hope and Slater, who were convicted Of
murder. Williams is charged with giving the
money to Harrington as a bribe. Slater is q
witness. Williams gayc bail in the sum Of
5000.
SECRETARY BR1srow,
in letter to the President, written this morn
ing, formerly rendered his resignation Of tho
office of Secretary Of the Treasury to take effect
has been accepted. The reasons assigned for
lis retirement are those already stated.
, 1876-06-18

ROBBED.
Special Dfspdtch to Ine Tribune
kANKAKEE, ILL.,, June 17.-John Bazland, pro-
prietor Of the Grove City Hotel, was this after
noon robbed Of his pockct-book, containing $3.50
in currency aud $500 in checks, drafts, etc. The
thief Is stranger who has been stopping at the
house for three days, and the deed was commit
ted while the old man was asleep on a lounge In
tile office. The thief has disappeared.
, 1876-06-18
MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY.
Special Dispatch to The Til

ANN ARBoRt Mitch, June 1.-THE Board Of
Regents OF the Michigan University held meet
ing to-day and transacted the following ousl-
ness:
One-third Of the amount provided Tor Inc
benefit Of the School Of Mines was set apart Tor
the uses Of the Department OF Architecture ana
Design. Prof. II. ". Harrington Was granted
two years. leave to visit Europe. polneg d.