Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-01-26
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

is not yet disposed of.
: "A Brooklyn express wagon has this
sign: "Orl kines of Horling dun" He
might add: " In hog signo vinces."
! The Public Administrator Of ST Louis
has had charge of five estates during the
| past year for which duplicate wives were
| claimants.
| "A London doctor says that it will Ger
.ainly give young lady the spinal dis
ease to wash dishes, and now go ahead on
those worsted dogs.
Did you ever see a small boy put his
thumb into the nose Of a tea Kettle to stop
the exit Of steam Did that small boy
| ever try that game a second time;
The courtcrier in New York gets up
and calls for William d. Tweed, and His
| Honor smiles, the audience smile the
lawyers laugh, and the small boy filters
"Te-he-he isn't here"
The ladies of Richmond dealt out
buttermilk TO their New Years callers
And perhaps there are worse drinks than
buttermilk. Though, to be sure, they are
very dorchester Union.
Meat has been sent from Yuenos
| Ayres to France in perfect state OF pres
ervation in pickle composed of two
! parts Of bi-borate of soda, two of boric
acid three of saltpeter and one OF muriatc
OF soda to 100 parts water.
~ discreet old bear near Duncan's
Mills, Cal, has profited ty the mishap OF
| having lost one OF his toes in a steel trap
and now habitually draws the traps a
short distance away by their ropes and de-
yours in safety the bait which is placed
beneath them
"A rosy checked siy.year.old Mercury
yesterday walked solemnly into the ante
room OF the Mayors office and set the
doorkeepers into roar of laughter by
asking, with bashtul earuestness PLEASE,
can two persons be married?' e" Are you
one of the partiesy" asked the officer,
smiling. " No, sir, please,' was the re-
ply but my boss sent me-" "Who is
your boss ~ Il don't know, sir; bu.
they be French persons who wish. by the
Mayor, 10 be married on Saturday: and,
please, can they be married when they be
French The little fellow was assured
that being French was not considered a
bar to marriage by the Mayor, and he
went away with satisfied ~ Y IrJb.
There is a case in point here Of a
meteorologi cally-inclined postman of
Hartford, who tiXes his idea OF the days
cold by particular thermometer that he
visits every morning IN the line of his du-
ties. Plying him, the owner OF the
thermometer regularly on cold days warns
up the bulb just rs the messenger arrives
IN sight and the satisfied waytarer hasn't
been really cold yet u single morning.
His eyes prove 10 him that it would be
foolish 10 feel a condition that does not
exist, so he doesn't feel it. And de
iective thermometer has been known 10
keep family cold all winter, To cause
several extra tons of coal to be burned
and 10 lead To "A rupture with the agent of
the best furnace IN the world. --Hdrtford
(C0aa,( COiropR
"A young and pretty woman who was
n passenger over the train from the East
yesterday morning had her attention at.
tracted 10 some pictorial papers which one
OF the newsboys was vending at the depot,
and inquired the price. Ten cents
apiece" ~ would like to have one only
| haven't any change with me" Then
YOU don't get EN-, classically remarked
the dealer in literature. The woman hes.
i;ated a moment and then intimated that
she would kiss the newsbov ii he would
give her the paper. Kissing was goodies
that he had never hoped for under such
circumstances, and he intimatcd his will
ingness 70 accept the proposal, scarcely
thinking she WAS in earnest, but kiss him
she did, right out on the depot platform,
| and then possessing herself of the paper
she entered u car, leaving the newsboy
oIushtng, grinnlng, and yet looking wor.
ried, rs II he felt a streak OF electricity
running down his back.-i'aca Hsraid.
The Bennington tvt) B1aner has
this amusing story, The family OF one
ot our Industrious citizens WAS rather
earlier asur than the circumstances would
require one night last week When the
clock WAS wound up, at nine O'Clock in
the evening, the spring VAS frightened too
much, and the time. piece stopped about
AN hour later, when the family had all
retired, Friend C.'s mind MAS unusually
full OF thoughts on the morrow's business,
and 50 the light of the moon, ~ its pale
rays came through the thin clouds with
out showing her fair face induced him 10
shout 20 the hired man IN arise and kin.
tlC The fire, thinking il was near dav.
I The fire was soon burning bgisklv: the
/ family all aSur; breakfast soon ON the Ia
bic the repast over al began 10 wonder
/ Why more light did not come over the
| face of the earth. The wonder AMI as
/ constituent continued UBabateu Tor an
/ hour or more longer, and behold twas
( darker than ever The night being eN-
/ tremCly cold no one feared 90 20 and
/ arouse a ucighbor to ascertain the time.
/ bu, finally the hest thought IL advisable
/ 60 dn 81. NviChhor -- Was soon made
I 30 answer the summons, ana responded 10
! the iDtyrro gatvc by saying Why. sir.
/ It : only liNle past midnight Friend
( {. marched back Ia the house, and his