The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-05-04
ODDS AND ENDS.

= =
A PREAcHER's word should be law
only when it is gospel.
THE most likely thing to become
woman-A little girl.
ONE swallow does not make "a spring,
but q dozen make fall. ..ssas
WEI, MOON.
THE weather depends on the moon as rule.
And I've found that the Say ing is true
For at Baa it rains when the moons at the fuil,
And II rains vhen the moo1s' 5 at the new
When the moons es thequarter, then down comes
Al the he hsif istA it'sn better, L ween; <ss.
When the moons at three quarters its At it
again. - 2 . -. ~ f-sI.t
And L rains besides mostly between;
A GENTLEMAN the other day saw a
neatly wrapped package lying on the
sidewalk, but was too sharp to pick it
up, and merely smiled at the harmless
sell and passed on. When, however, be
saw bootblacK stop and undo it and
take out a box of fine cigars that some
one had dropped, the world seemed to be
all slipping away from him.
PRoFEssoR MERRl,dAN's scientific
prophecy, that within ten thousand
wears the ocean viii be rolling one thou
sand feet deep over America, and that
beautiful new continent viii appear in
the Southern Hemisphere, Is exciting
considerable interest, and compels many
people to hesitate whether or not to go
to the Black Hills.
BURLINaToS Ha,okeye: Mr.. Gladstone,
the distinguished English statesman,
said. in a recent address, that hand labor
is better paid in England than head
labor. Same thing over here, William.
| A prize-hghter will make more money
pounding his felloW-men black and blue,
than goat can earn by butting them
clear across the street five or six times
day.
THE Louisville Courier Journal says
that the great Obituary Laureate Of the
Philadelphia Ledger hassthe following
poem in readiness for fat people;
Affections very sore long time she bore.
Which the physicians really seemed to hate her;
And though sne weighed 400 pounds or mo1e
Lightly she valtzed down TO JeIdan's snofe'
And went up in the golden elevator.
- Gene to meet Daniel Lambert airs
A ST. LOUIS fashion reporter being de-
tailed to write up the horse railroads.
thus describes gorgeous new car = I, Gar "a:
No. 36 is a beauty. She is trimmed IN
| yellow, and gold leaf put on bias, cor
sage dicollete, trucks rotsusdo and en- fao.-
Ter, brakes en- train, with gable-pointed
reyers of wrought iron. The seats are
of cotton velvet, panier en- poufs, bound
around with q fchss of red tape. AS q
whole, the car is a very recherche aftslr."
A.rouoHfSG story is that of the little
wild bird that flew into the great
dining-halI Of the Grand Union Hotel OF
Saratoga, and could neither find its way
out nor be lured to. safety by the kindly
endeayors of the servants, though the
entrances and the. lower parts OF the
windows were nearly always open. The
heavy upholstery af the upper half OF
the windows prevented its only chance
of escape, SO after huttering .bewildered
among the forests of chandeliers for ak
DAYS, guests all the time1feastipg At the
i tables below, ib.at length died OF starva-
tion, andiwas picked up on the aoor
ONE night 4 trombone player wished
tosbe absent from the orchestra in kew
York theater, and ,as there was another
trombone, instead of asking leave Of the
leader, he resorted to the expedient Of
getting a friend to go IN and take his
seat. Watch the other trombone,
said he to his friend puff out your
cheeks well, keep your fingers active,
| look alive, and you viii pass muster.
All went right until passage t9fetFo
trombones was reached. Not a. sound
| from the instruments was heard! Ii
turned out that both trombone players
had resorted to thesame ruse.