The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-04-28
FRIDAY. P R IS, 1876.
WIr mi HUMoR.

It's an unpleasant fact that what your
friends call self possesslon, your enemies call
brass.-Norrieh Balletin.
The minister who divides his discoursss
into too many heads will find it difficult to
procure attentive ears for ali Of them.
An Iowa editor recently announced that
a certain patron of his was "thieTing as
usual" The word he wrote was Thriving"
A man Is l,95o times as large as the com-
mon honey-bee. and yet is useless TO try
and argue the matter with the bee.-De-
tyoit Free Press.
The word debit is composed of the mi
tials Of "dun everybody twice" Credit is
formed Of the initial letters Of "call re
gular'y every day; III trust"
The President has no ear for music. and
the care,essness with which he rsed to take
Bapcoek's flute 10 rake the fire was a con
slant menace to their friendship.-Brooklya
argus.
"a genuine poet" IN exchange says.
is always aheal of his age" And he has
a very Lonely time of it if there is nobody
there but genuine poets.-Louisrins Courier
Journal.
How a man can afford to give away an
eighteen do lar chrome with a pound of
dollar tea puzzles people who don't Know
the immense profits made on teas.-Detroit
Free Press.
1t must confuse q whisky drinker to
know that when he reaches the weight Of
l54 pounds. the average weight of man. at
least 100 pounds Of his avoirdupois con-
sists Of water.
They tax Of building a monument to
John Smith. in Virginia" We have a
vague recollection of hearing that name
before. but we didn't know the gentleman
was dead.-Norristorn Herald.
At a wedding recently. when the c'erey-
man asked the lady. wilt thou have this
man to be thy welded husbands = she. with
n modessy which lent her beauty and a.
ditional grace, replied. "If you please"
Josh Billings says: There is one thing
about a hen that looks like wis lom-shoy
don't kackle much till they have laid their
2 g Sum pio'ks are alwus n Dragging
and n cackling what they are going tew do
befo, ehand."
Nothing was 80 much dreaded in our
school boy days, snys Il distinguished wri-
ter. as TO lie punished by sitting between
two girls. All. the force of educationl In
after years we learn 10 submit TO such
things without shedding n tear.
An engineer on the Western North Caro-
lima Railroad shouted to a crowd of ~rus.ics
who had gathered to see the first train of
cars com in. Pat down your umbrellas
you'll scare the engine of tn, track !" The
umbrellas were lowered at once.
81 meant to have toll you Of that hole"
said a gentleman to his friend who was
walking with him in his garden, and Stun
bled into a pit full of water. mo matter"
said the friend, blowing the mud and water
out Of his moath, "Ivc found it."
Maria is n very popular name in Illinois.
When a cat climbs a back fence in u vel!
populated neishborhopd. and plaintively
calls out i" Maria" twenty or thirty windows
are hastily thrown MP. from which prosrude
twenty or thirty feminine henls wildly an.
swering What"
A seotehman went 10 n lawyer once for
itdvice. and detailed the circumstances Of
the case. "Have you told me the facts pre-
risely MS they occiredi :" asked the lawyer.
oh, aye. sirl" replied he. 81 thought
IL best to tel We the plan truth. Ye can
put the lies into it yourself"
A Presbyterian minister. while marrying
4 couple Of his rustic parishioners, felt eA-
ccclingly Disconnected on his asking the
bridegroom if he was willing to take the
roman FOR his welded wife, by his scratch
ing his head and saying. "Ay. I'm wullin'.
Int Id rather hae her sister,"
A Sydney editor has the follxmiAg pln.
card posted outside his ofice:-".Time is
money The editor is not to be seen; il
youdoinsist. the first five minutes a sovereign
\ quarter of an hour -four sovereigns, half
Rn hour fifteen pounds. after which every
ane will be elected by tho window"
DR.. Durbin, the great Methodist orator.
ance attemptc | to preach a sermon from
he text Remember Lots wife," and made
. Il failure. After remarking to DR.. Bonl
hat he did net know the reason of his fail.
ere, the venerable Doctor replied that he
had better hereafter let other peoples
wives alone"
Ho leaned back gracefully against the
Circle ratings, this morning, with his small
Cog between his feet. One foot was on n
ireacheroas banana rind. and, as he picked
up the other 10 admire a crack in his boot,
he sat down on the dog. Then there was a
euEs and n yelp. with birthstone enough in
the air for a mntch-facsory and bark for n
whole lanyard.
Tommy. my son. fetch in a stick OF
wood" "Ah my dear mother. responded
the youth. 1.-THE grammatical portion Il
your education has been sadly neglected.
You should have said Thomas, my son.
transport from that recumbent collection OF
combustiblo aerial upon the threshold
of this edifce one OF the curtailed excres.
ences Of n defunct log
Two persons were once disputing SO loud.
ly. IN the subject of religion that they
awoke a big dog which had been sleeping
on theh hearth before them, and he forthwith
barked most furiously. An old divine pre-
sent. who mad been quietly slipping his tea
while the disputants were talking. gavo the
dog n kick and exclaimed, Hold you,
tonoue Won rillv b,,,ta Won Irov :. ..re