Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1876-06-29

A race OF sculptors-theC Chip-away
Indians.
Getting at the root of the matter
digging stumps.
Harvesting is usually a season OF
rejoicing. but the onion crop is gath
cred in tears.
Ii you can't get silver, do, pray, get
fall the sense you can.
| Dom Pedro has bought ten lawn
mowers for models.
Why is the Centennial like home?
Because it's the dearest spot on
earth.
"Dears- talking" parties = young
ladies' conUersaziones.-N Y. Com
mercial.
South 'Merican republics fightin'
agin, 10; and dad says one on ems
Gotamauler,"
The difference between baby and
an overcoat is: one you was. and the
other you wear.
Crusty says that the list of mar
riages in the newspapers ought to be
put under the head Of Ring Frauds"
Book agents are never so importu-
nate as when they observe that the
man OF the house is in his slipper
feet.
OF all the various methods pro-
posed for the reduction of postage
none are more practical than this:
Get married.
Young swell-@I should like to
have my moustache dyed" Polite
barber-~Certainly. Did you bring
it with you?"
Always pick out bald headed bar
Der to shave you, because he can't
consistently ask you to buy any hair
restorer.
VIM. Graham kept moving on roll
Ter skates in Louisville twenty-four
consecutive hours with only twenty
six minutes of rest.
The ReUeiHe says there is gentle
man in Austin who is so noted for his
reserved manners that nobody ever
saw him display any.
When two gentlemen at party in
advertently change hats, the man
who gets the worst tile is always the
first to discover the mistake.
Woman has many advantages over
man: one OF them is that his will has
no operation till he is dead, whereas
hers generally takes effect in her life.
time.
When woman throws brick-bat,
the great problem seems to be be, not
how to hit the mark, but how to
avoid knocking her brains out with
her elbow.
Il don't see why the papers make
such TO do about it." said Mrs. Part
ington as Ike read, Great Picture OF
the Prodigal Sunburnt" He went
without his hat" she murmured; the
sun is getting hot now, and he should
have known better
Art received an awkward criticism
from free -and-easy young man who
recently met a sculptor in a social
circle, and addressed him thus: ~Er
-er-so you are the man-er-that
makes-er-mudh heads?" And this
was the artists reply: "Er-er-not
all of 'em; didn't make yours
One Ohio editor says of cotempo-
rary who had assumed the part of
mummy in dramatic performance:
He was obliged to put little anima-
tion into himself to come up with the
character, and to wear more recent
linen; but that was about all. Ma
ture had admirably qualified him to
act the part"
Telling OF man who had lost his
life in riot. Belfast paper said:
"They fired two shots at him; the
first killed him, but the second was
not fatal" He was not blessed with
two lives as was the deaf man, Tan,
who was run down by a passenger
train and killed; he was injured i'm a
similar way year ago."
They sat in the pa rlor and he
squeezed her hand. ~Oh, would this
hand were mine," he sighed. ~Why?"
she simpered. Because IL 1t was
mine could knock a bullock down
with il better than with a sledge
hammer" The last seen OF the young
man. he was trying to climb on the
top of the house by means OF the wa
ter-spout.
Eating peanuts by the peck
Casabianca modified.-Oh, how de-
testable is this comestiblei Doctors
denounce them as quite indigestible.
Still the boys mGnching them, crack
ing and crunching them, hopelessly
seek lunch in them. Crammed to
safety farewell proprietyD still they
go cracking on, pests of society.
Symptoms OF cholera, making them
holler ~Ahl" soon supervene while
the peanuts they swaller-ahl Would
you our gratitude gain, from our lat
itude drive this abuse-it would CON-
fort us, that it would Danish it ut
terly, nuts in the gutter lay; then TIL
subscribe myself yours, sir, peanut
terly.