The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-08
"small Fry" s.sws
Arm yourself with gush and giggle,
Give your stays q lightning hitch;
- Small Fry


yoppc ladies who are accustomed to read the
TR,prg are always observed to possess winning
vays. most amiable dispositions, invariably
make good wives, always select good husbands,
and get married quickest .... .....
EHow's your diary getting on? Ours began on
Sunday, is short four days already; but we hope
10 catch up next Sunday II 1t rains and let US
out of going to church in the morning.
A bachelor the other night, with grcan, de-
clared that hs had not the slightest objection to
"rings On his fingers" but he has most une.
euiyocai aversion to "belles on his toes
And The schools have begun again. We go BY
"a school every day, and when we see the little
boys chase the girls round the school house en-
closure always catching and kissing them be-
fore the game is up, it makes US wish that we
were young again. t#H Gftf "i8H
We've been taking notes about this thing. A
fair QUE says, and she knows what shes talking
about that it just doubles the value of a kiss to
burrow for it under a big moustache. To be sure,
we wouldt allow her to illustrate! but she knows
somehow.
Hazel-eyed people are said to live longer
than other people" Our felosifer says the young
men should remember this when hunting
mOthef-in-laW,
The boys haven't had any ice to slide on so far
This winter, and have been compelled to fall back
on summer sports; and you can see them every
day with the seat and knees OF their "unmen.
tion,bles" filed with pebble stones put there by
fond mammas TO swindls the clothing men out
Of their just dues. It's cruel Pity "a boy cant
play marbles IN "phat" or slide down pine
plank even in these hard times. gFF n
When man rises and remarks that striped
stockings have gone out Of fashion, you may
know that while Others were loafng around the
cross walks he was moving hay or sorting pota.
toes. or lived in country where the girls didn't
kick the gates open for the fellows ..Es
A little boy contemptuously observed. while
his mother wos scolding him because he came
hO,ne with the bark all of his shins from blow
with Skinny club, that croquet was nothing
but shiny with its society clothes on"
The Cc,srier- Journal says no red.headed man
should smoke or chew tobacco. as Nicotine will
wafi him to the grave. The day is coming when
red hair will have no rights at all. r~
First Senior, finishing fshy story" Pretty
sehneid tale, amt itg' ,....-..,
Second Senior" Pooh! could tell Of tailor,
too, that would be Schneider" -Ch, Uni. Volante.
Push your business through the newspapers.
IT is just rs Legitimate as putting sign over
yoar door, and far more modest than sending
out drummers to worry people into trading
with you.--Hubbards advertiser.
The collecting Of monograms is the latest
sgony among the young ladies. When large
number are obtained the young ladies paste them
on their fans, and the one who has the most and
hnest holds her head In lofty scorn at everybody
else. @ hH Fa'f
Wanted, to find the callow youth who never
essayed verse making In honor Of his sweetheart.
4 defunct cat on the west side ornaments the
space between u sidewalk and an aristocratic
fence 1t is not a sublime object.-InJsnf. lt
Certain. But i! makes a sublime item, very
An exchange says, nowadays, when you
hear one speak OF the cause of education, you
can infer that he means a good deal Of gymnas.
lies and fooling around and little bit Of reading
and spelling.' #