The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-01-05
The BrOtfsPr.iu-Law.
lm the New York World.


\ great deal has been written agair st
the mother-in law. She has been made
the target of everything in literature,
from the sarcasmS of Artemus Ward TO
the plattudes Of Eli Perkins. She has
been compared in succession to all the
plaques of Egypt, greatly 10 the advan-
tage of the plaques. She has been pro-
nounced more dangerous visitor than
the lightning-rod man, and Il greater
bore than the life insurance agent. She
is said 10 be the very person in the world
who will come ottener and stay longer
than the book pcdler. Its reported that
it costs more 10 keep her tor suSmer
than q whole army Of tramps, and final
~ she is declared TO be worse IN house
hold than revolution in q State, an
earthquake in a city, or an eruption in n
volcano OF The truth or falsity OF these
estimates of the average mother-in-law
we have nothing To say ut present; but
we do think it is time that the attention
OF the American people should be divert
cd from female relatives by marriage and
turned seriously 10 the race of brothers
in-law. Who is it that takes the hus-
band out to the theater, carries INN of TO
the billiard saloon when the play is
over, and brings him bone soaked with
Falernian? The brother-in-law. Who
is it that is always asking you TO lend
him money or lndorSe his paper or 90
on his bail bond? Your brother-in. law.
Who is Ii that has got you into fifty diff
Gcultics and never got you out of one?
Your brother-in-law. Above all, who is
1t that has corrupted and degraded our
whole system Of politics until the civil
service is like II den nf thieves! We an
Swcr, mOurnfully, the hr0thcr-in-law.
The beginning Of President Grants mis-
fortunes lay in the multitude of brothers.
ln-iaw. 1t was impossible that he should
Go his duty honestly with them about
him, and as one bIUndcr followed anoth-
@ the publ C grew accustomed to the
curse. and asked placidiy whenever new
piece Of malieasancc in Office was report
ed. Nv lich of his brothcr-In-law is it this
timer 1t was soon found out however,
that Grant was not the only man III the
country who had brother-in-!aw
Nearly every politician of any influence
was supplied with one Of these valuable
articles and anXiously sought to get rid
of HIM by foIstlng nm into the Federal
Government. Tnc consequence has been
that we are now living IN the era of
bro.her-in-law, and everything is going
to destruction. ia Revenue Collector
is dciaUltcr you may be sure that he is
some senator brother-in-aw. lfan In
dian Agent is caught in II piece of knav.
cry, YOU are pretty certain to be on the
right track when you ask what member
OF the Administration he Is connected
with by marriage. If a soldier runs
away, il is prigsa facic proof that some
leading politician Is married to his sister.
And even in cases where the bruthcr.In-
law happens 10 be u decent fellow and
inclined to perform the duties Entrusted
TO him with lair amount OF diligence, he
invariably has some brother. or uncle, or
br.thor.in-law Of his own who brings him
to destruction. \ striking illustration of
this fact is offered in the case OF the Post
master of indianapolis, who is Senator
Morton brnthcr-in-law and IS afflicted
with wicked brother, who has been
cheating the Department for months, d.
rcctlv under the Pastmaster's own eyes,
and has now been indicted By the United
States grand Jury. The diScredit Of his
knavcry is reflected upon his own rea-
tive. and through him falls upon The aus
lcrc figure OF the Senator from Indiana,
who is compelled to blush for the crimes
of his brOthcr-in. laws brother This Is
not proper state OF things. 1t is time
that in the interest Of all Christian states
men the reign of this class should cease.
Let the vile deccivcrs be thrust from Of
flee, and let it be understood hereafter
that no mans brother-in.law shall be
put on guard.