The Van Buren press., 1876-08-08
Politicking Under Difficulties.

ED PRESS In the pursuit Of correct news
your reporter. as In duty bound, on last Fri
DAY repaired to Richland precinct, where. ac-
cording to the statement OF one OF the candi-
dates for Probate Judge, there was to be a
grand barbecue and basket pic mic. Riding
good stock. we arrived at the grounds in short
metre. On the road we passed numberess
men, some mounted on mules, some on hor-
ses, and in drays. carts and wagons of shapes
sizes and bottoms, as various as were the ri
dcrs themselves. Remembering a chronic
emptiness" which always attacked us about
noon we looked carefully among the crowd
for baskets of provisions. but discovered none
and then did we well know that the whole
party We're candidates.
At the place of meeting, a large crowd soon
assembled, but, with three exceptions, they
were all candidates, who wished to serve the
public, entirely without disintercsted mo.
tives. The exceptions named were Geo
Brunk, John Kiblcr, and your reporter. The
voters of Richland did not seem to know OF
the appointment, and many ofthem had gone
to a non political meeting at Col. Kings.
| The candidacy looked sad-cyed and hag-
gard, and they gazed upon the prospect, and
mentally contemplated the wealth expended
in the shape of horse hire on this voteless eX-
pedilion Each candidate had a large roll o
circulars, long as that mythical moral law
and dry as Il topper on election day, but had
mo place to put them.
A half hour was spent in silence and sor-
row. We sat upon the fence and famed our
heated frame with the most statistical circu-
lar in the lot, and awaited with fear the re-
suit. Fear, not Tor ourself, as we supposed
we were not approachabe, but for the two
poor voters who had been inveigled into the
crowd. Affairs soon came to crisis. and a
man willing to sacrifice himself on the legis-
lative altar. tackled Mr.. Brunk, while a
would be- sheriff fastened upon Mr.. kibler
Two lines of candidates were at once formed
and they all took their turns in the process
of interviewing. Each candidate read his
circular, and then commented BON it, while
we, still upon the fence, were watching the
frantic efforts of the two voters to get away,
and 90 home, our attention was attracted by
Il mumblng noise behind us, and, on turning,
We discovered two candidates who had APP
preached from the rear. One was reading his
dog law circular, while the other was trying
to drown his voice by reading that most hor
rible of all statistical circular. To jump
from the fence was but the work of mo-
ment and we landed in the lap Of a man who
said he was glad to meet me, rs he wanted
my opinion of his plan for the equalization OF
the assessment OF the taxes on dogs, or sta
tstics, or State debt, or prisoners In the coun
ty Jail, or something else which | did not
wait to hear; but, in an instant, cutting the
halter-strap Of my horse, mounted and fled
at Il speed which would astonish the railroad
company.
A single glance backwards showed me one
of the voters who had jumped over the fence
and was being held by the coat-tail, and the
other one laying back in !: fain,ing condition
exceedingly sea-sick.
Our arrival in town alone quietcd our
nerves, and we have not since had the heart
to enquire after the fate of the two unfortu-
natcslet behind. Cnlrs.
p. Son account of a nervous debility we
would respectfully tender our resignation Of
the place of political reporter. and would re-
commend the name of John Gray as my sue
ccssor. c.