Lincoln County advocate. (Canton, Dakota Territory, [S.D.]) 1876-1877, 1876-05-17

chilling Winter OF unchsnging storm;
Spring replete with dswns and sunsets warm
So we grow old. Y
Old to ourselves, but children vet to be
In the strange cities Of eternity.
\ Wit and Hum0r.
| TRowsERs obtained on credit are
breeches of trust.
| To JAW man that won't jaw back is
like kicking at nothing. W
THE money and hair OF . fool are soon
parted in the middle.
A CHILD can pick up good deal OF
information if it will keep its ear open
while its mother is conyersing through
q hole in tine fence with the woman next
door.
WHKN you hear of a man owning Q
hundred thousand dollar house on Brook
lyn Heights, don't it strike you as being
q rather Height-owned place Of resi-
J darne2 e.gessss.44 - 3sss8r =
An old fellow, sixty-nine years old, is
"going to school " in Susquehanna. He
didn't think much oi school until a
| ightning-rod man made h;m believe that
five times six were thirty-fve. se
An Illinois preacher, says the Detroit
Free Press, who believed that fire in
surance was defying the Lord, is now
living in barn until Ills congregation
| can find him another house.
TIE Rev. DR.. Blackie, OF Edinburgh,
says that the modorn sermon g is like
toddy made of one tenth whisky and
nine -tenths water" Brother Blackie's
idea Of toddy is correct, at least.
HoNoLU1U people say it rains nine
days in the week at Hilo, and thirteen
months in the year, and once in great
while it rains into the bunghole Of q
barrel faster than it can flow out at both
ends. -
TIE ex-presidsnt Of the aaialrana
Club perpetrates another atrocity, VIZ:
What, is that which no man wants,
which, if any man has, he would not
part with for untold wealth E" GA bald
head. -
An escaped lunatic was arrested in the
woods in Northern New York, few days
since, who said he wanted to get 81 Far
from the Madding Crowd !" ct Bingham
ton. The joke was q bad one, and they
"ran him in" s1
GEORGE II. being informed that an
impudent printer was to be punished
for publishing spurious roya! speech.
said that he hoped the punishment
would be light, because go far as he
understood either, he liked the spurious
one best. . 5ss33ss
That vas q pflii;iosopiliiaa;, iin uroi,1in who,
when he was nine years old, having lost
his rabbits by dogs and his pigeons By
rats, said to his little sister: 6 Sis, my
opinion is that the happiest period Of 4
boys life is when he is between three
and four years old. =
DEAN SWIFT has found animitator. An
advocate Of Colmar has left 10O, O00f. to
the local madhouse. "Ig got this money"
said the candid lawyer in his will, s ont
of those who pass their lives in litigation;
in bequeathing it for the use of Iunatics
I only make restitution. = SS g,gyr
WHO shtands der streets and corners around Il,
Nit sefrel ages to be ground, ~
Und shmied, und bowed. und nefer frowned 3,
Der candidate.
Who hold your hands ven you wouid starr,
Und told you you was mighty shmart,
Und how he luyed you NIT his hart7
Der candidate. sig
Hartford Times $85s
A VETERAN spinster OF South Brook
lyn, remarkable for her taciturnity,
created good deal of surprise last Sun
day by patlsing in the lobby OF the
church after services and chatting and
laughing quite gayly with the retiring
members Of the congregation. It was
subsequently ascertalned that she had
just come into possession of new set
of teeth.
AN old Scotch lady was told that her
minister used notes. Sine disbelieved
it. Said one /: g Go into the gallery and
see r She did SO, and saw the written
sermon. After the luckless preacher
had concluded his reading on the last
page, he said !: $ But / will enlarge"
The old woman cried out from her lofty
poMtion g Ye Gamma ye Gamma for yer
papers give out!" ..38'.
NoRw1oH Bulletin A Preston man
was very angry on going home the other
night. to find that his wife had lent the
only Bbie IN the ihoilse. 10 rid rid j. i vas
a disgrace that in this period Of Chris
tian enhg ghtenment 8 family should ilnye
only one copy Of the Bible. Il seems he
wanted 70 deoide . bet as 70 whether il
was Paul Or Cephas who sid 8 Consist
ency, thou art jewel"