The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-06-08
Items of Interest.

uhe cl1nK OF SllVer u'uey 10 ioA o"'-'
ears.
The art of life consists of being well
deceived.
A man must be very hungry to like
the sound of dinner gong.
Since the introduction of silver there's
greater variety, but not 80 much change.
The Baltimore Sun advocates append
ing to every death notice the name of the
doctor.
The difference between an overcoat
and baby is, one you was and the other
you wear.
Motto of q Portland temperance re-
form club: :" We bend the knee, but not
the elbow"
DIR. Parr once asked Porson what he
thought of evil. 81 see no good in it,"
was the reply.
Which is the easiest profession
Divinity, because it is easier to preach
than to practice.
The utmost that severity can do is to
make men hypocrites: it can never make
them converts.
An old maid, speaking of marriage,
says it is like any other disease-while
there's life there's hope.
Men of force and industry every
where will tell you that it is the hardest
thing in the world to do nothing.
Until he measures himself by Others,
| the self-made man is never quite certain
whether or not he is well made.
The life of q rich old bachelor is q
| splendid breakfast, tolerably flat din
ner, and a most miserable supper.
A conundrum that has never been
satisfactorily answered-How many
| bootjacks does it take to kill cat9
A clergyman, who lives on the sea-
shore, says he likes calm Sundays, be-
cause he is opposed to Sabbath break
ers.
During recent hail storm in Kansas
the hailstones in certain places were
drifted by the wind to a depth OF four
feet.
| No Young man should think of send
ing poetry to a publisher without send
ing the names of few subscribers as an
atonement.
A young lady who had a new hood,
and was asked to lend it frequently,
said she was getting tired of keeping
neighborhood.
| The French invention of toughened
glass is in some respects less satisfac-
tory than was at first supposed. 1t is
| true that it does not easily break, but 1t
cannot be cut.
| A London doctor has discovered that
YOU may cure the toothache by dissolv-
ing half drachm of bicarbonate of soda
in an ounce of water and holding the
| co1ut;op in Uour month
The other day a Black Hills stage
driver undertook to horsewhip his pas
sengers into getting out and pushing up
hill, but the gold seekers held cor.
oner's inquest and found that he died OF
pneumonia.
A hotel in Kansas has the following
notice displayed in the bedrooms
Gentlemen wishing to commit suicide
will please take the center of the room,
to avoid staining the bed linen, walls
and furniture with blood.
Some one asked the elder Dumas for
his autograph. "My autograph - he
cried "you can find plenty of them
floating about in the shape of notes, and
you will know that they are genuine by
their being all protested"
Young miss, fond of pets-"Oh, I'm
so glad you love birds, Mr.. Snooks;
what kind do you admire p Young
man, who is quite poetical-" Well, l
! think a good turkey, with oyster stuff
ing, is about as good as any,"
Experiments lately made in France
show that air laden with coal dust is
highly explosive. Several cases of ex-
plosion in coal mines have been traced
to the action of suspended coal dust
when no fire-damp was present.
"How shall we settle the labor ques-
tion2" exclaimed q politician in the
! midst of his speech. "By all going to
work and earning your living honestly "
,, thundered a spectator in the gallery.
!, That sentiment brought down the house.
' If man is looking for a situation
and can show good recommendation
from bis mother-in-law, twill go further
toward securing him the position than
dozen testimonials from his uncle or
, brothers in law. But such recommends
t tions are extremely hard to get.
3 In replying to toast to his health,
on a recent occasion, Lord Snaftesbury
e told the story of man who said, when
Q his lordship was presented with
: donkey by the costermongers in Lon
1 don: "Somehow or other, shall never
t. again see donkey without thinking OF
;, your lordship."
In Binghampton, N. Y, there is an
insane man whose ailment is symptom
5 of lingering type of hydrophobia. He
!, ! was infected by being bitten by his wife,
I who died of hydrophobia about four
9 years ago. See was bitten by a dog
g when sbe was girl, and lived fifteen
;. years without any symptoms OF the
" disease.
y Two sparks from London once came
- upon decent looking shepherd in Ar
~ gyleshire, and accosted him with: "Yor
~ have very fine view here; you can SEE
IS great way" "Yu aye, yu aye a ferr.
- great way" "Ah you can see Americl
+ here, supposel" "Farer than that.
Chow is that ?" "Yu iist wait tule th'
mists gang AVA, and you'll see th'
mune."
re- A gentleman gave his servant maid in
a following character the other day eth
" bearer has been in my employ yea
- minus eleven months. During tha
7e time she has shown herself diligent-a
IL the house door frugal-in work min6
th ful--of herself prompt-in excuses
ne friendly-toward men ; faithful-to he
st lovers and honest-wben everythin