National Republican., 1876-12-28
CURIOSITY SHOP.

By duel.
--Rnugh seas test the courage and skill
OF sailors.
Base ball players SHOULD study the
San Frsncisco trade with Asiatic ports
is rapidly Increasing.
-Honey is gathered and sold by the ton
in San Diego county, Cal.
--Ifyou are presented with book it's
hint to turn over new leaf.
Sidewalk slippers, in these icy days,
are apt to be considerably worsted.
The waters of Salt lake, Utah, are 30
dense that no fish can live in them.
The most unreliable bookkeep,rs are
those who do not return borrowed volumes.
-Hangmen are always ready to accom-
modate persons wanting anything In their line.
Count that leap year lost last whose
descending sun sees not an average husband won.
"A female justice of the peace in Wy
oming recently hned her husband for drunken
ness.
-Rosapna Mackey, OF New York. ad.
mits having been arrested between 200 and $40
times.
TO Rent-Every apartment Of several
capacious pocketbooks. Possession given imme-
diately.
-Four sisters in Georgia advertise that
they wish to marry four brothers. Bring on the
bigamists. g.
-lIdN6l Ou SUOW SuOtS tS Y DultHOu
at this season of the year in Idaho and Montana
Territories.
During these slippery times you
should wear two pairs Of shoes, one as usual and
the other on the back. e.
The boys OF Boston don't coast as they
few isolated localities. .......
"A man with stolen umbrella cannot
keep dry In q rainstorm and have q clear con-
science at the same time.
When you exclaim "God help the
sponsibiiity in the matter.
The bulk of the silver bullion now
consumed in China is supplied by the Bonanza
mines Of Virginia City, Nevada,
1t is announced that not single first
class hotel remains standing in Little Rock. This
is rough on the Arkansas traveller.
"A pewsdealer in New York lately died
| from excessive laughter. He had undoubtedly
been pleased to see the people buy extras.
in one sense It does not harden man
l to sit down on his ambition. He will get up and
NOV move around Just ss lively as any other man at
-Ifa man has been humbug and
failure in his native land he is the likely to
boast Of the men and women and scenery Of that
land than II he had been well thought OF at hope.
Suit has been brought against Phila-
delphia chime Of bells The real solid truth is
that any bell is nuisance, except dinner bell
E,;;, E,; This is rather rough on the "bslls of the
Ddll
-"Sambo, can you explain de nature oh
He am IKE what you call a big dogZIyog tread on
York"
Romance on Blackwell's Island Two
women quarrel over q keeper who has made love
TO both Of them, and one Of them dies. The cor
oner shows, however, that the death was due to
natural causes.
George w. Burns, of California, is
ha MI uha al hv haar kaA
the animal to death. He's o graduate of Harvard,
and used to kick football. And evidently used
to kick bear footed. -r
When phrenologist told Chicago
| man that nature designed him to wheel coal down
hill for high wages, the spectacle Of phrenolo-
gist flying over q stove was the next scene. The
first case Of bump-dozing.
These are cold nights, and You can't
blame fellow II he does keep drawing the bed
clothes up little closer and closer until he wakes
In the morning and inds his apparel to consist
| tirely Of q gigantic necktie. ~.
FL don't believe in fashionable church
considering col that we T Are all to 60 to the same me
heaven, perhaps IT'S better TO keep up the social
| distinction as long as we can" .
"A member of Congress In Q debate
major vsritas" The reporter next morning made
his speech read, 81 may cuss Plato, may cuss
| -Philanthropic philosophers are devils
large cities to the broad and fertile fields Of the
South and West, where comfort and Independence
i are in store for the Industrious.
An exchange speaks of the crowds Of
1n
| when they have their mornings. warm they ought
| to have their nightschool as well.
One of the reporters who attended the
burning of Baron de Palm says he saw the ghost
/ of one Of the men who were hanged on Gsllows
Hill. The saloons at Washington, Pa, evidently
keep very inferior article of whisky.
| St. Louis wants to improve her street,
/ cars until q homelike influence will draw people
| to patroniIe them. Marble CRATES. daily papers,
lace curtains, cats, rugs, pianos and snow apples
| would make street car more endurable.
Dayton. Ohio, is ordinarily quiet
been unusually active in an endeavor 70 discover
the wretch who creased the High School prin-
cipaIs chair and desk with lard over night.
| -"If / Yves as flat-footed as you are 1
"Yes." was the response, dsome people are fst on
i one end some on another" And then tho first
chap looked thoughtful, and wenton down street.
The feeling that If the church should
cave in you, 1t would only be Gods will, is not
usually strong enough to prevent an agile Chris
tian from jumping through the window at the first
| The time of the year is again at hand
| when the poor country boy goes to a church fes-
tival with his girl, and hangs around all the
l evening with n0thtng 10 eat, because oyster SeWS
are o quarter apiece, and all the money he has to
| his name amounts only to thirty cents. ..
| This il the season when q man wishes
ne were q boy again that he might retrayel those
Saa s ns Sds
message, and pantry door accidentally LEFT open
| was more to him than the glories of Babylon and
Nineveh.
The use of scientific terms often be.
| comes q sort of second nature with some profess
| sional men. savant who incautiously struck
| the back of his head against the sidewalk the
medulrG cSiongsfs." The crowd thought he cal. al
luded to his wife, and that she must be some Ital
| ian lady Of rank. .--
The present Secretary of the Navy
knowing whether /. was a spaniel Or terrier
| Detroit Free Press Goody gracious, man! Why
i.
meant dry-dockl from q cur-Wet, (by which is
meant corvette.)
Chicago is not yet wholly converted
by Moody and Sankey. At q fashionable ball
there last week. the s.nicest" dance Of the evening
| was one in which the walters swayed about to
the air Of Sankey's "Almost Persuaded" and
by q German, who put on the programme.
"Waltz-Selections from Moody and Sankey."
There was an amateur performance on
the Hill last night Of play. written for the occa
appeared in very tattered raimen., which dis
played to full advantage leg Of such marvellous
| proportions below the Knee that one old lady
| critically remarked he had violated the proprie-
ties of the piece by bringing the fatted "calf'
| with him.
The worst case yet is that of young
New York gentleman who visited New Jersey:
He retire ed at midnight after seven shot apples,
i and he found at six the next morning stand
ing against the wall, trying to pull the mantel-
piece up round his neck and complaining that
'.the clothes were not tucked 10. And yet while
mantel Of that sort may be an insufficient gar
ment ut such o season, It Is generally the next
thing to the entire SCOT. ~.
We read that the marriage of New
ark belle to q rising New York lawyer has been
postponed for o rather peculiar reason. The young
man, while exercising with Indian clubs, s'acci-
dentally struck his prospective mother-in-law,
breaking several of her ribs" The joke comes In
| at "accidentally." II he didn't want her to ac-
CONF any him on his wedding tour, he should b ave
read her the imaginary reports OF several fright
full railroad accidents instead Of brutally cayIug
| In her RIBS.
There Is in Scotland, as well as q
| American watering places q close connection be-
| tween fishing and matrimony. The failure of the
| herring fishery this season has had q most de-
| pressing effect upon the matrimonial market. The
| decrease in the marriages in the three months
| ending SeDtember 30 last is considerable. In the