The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1876-12-25
The presidential Problem. :.
HOW 10 sETTIE rT--MR. SOCRATES i AB0L,

4 - & Il
The Boston Journal supplies this:
EVERYBODY iii Boston knows CUT mncn-
esteemed feliow-cit izen Mr. Socrates Dabol.
He has suggested more plans for overcom-
ing difficulties regardless OF their nature,
than any nam who pays taxes In Boston.
He proposed al. one time TO pay on she guy
debt by, converting all the Sfate-pfison
birds into. fishermen and with the product
81 itheif.iator ne fsr3posed Ito. wipe outour
Elittle .intIabtednesss.s Thee plan Was re-
ieeted bythe aldermen. His scheme for
making ;he Eastern railroad oa dividend:
waving concerns,w was also good, :brt ne
tcoildnr 'ihdace the lawyers to accept IL.
N We remember correctly 3 he wanted the
stockholders to pay In q hundred dollars on
every share they owned, on ron dltiSn mat
the bondholders would take fifty cents on o
dollar for their Indebtedness, payable at sne
rate oil .one per cent per,ann,IE, .Witholt
interest, for fifty years. onIos 90 .3s ;gi,
I'M. Daholcalled LII sEpnr Office on Saturday
and s;gniKedtd a, reporter that ne had got
tit.,saisGot what 2" tqueried the reporter,
taking out his note book, for he knew tnat
MIR. Dabol never infruded except to impart
| ;ynporfant information. = ['.:4! -.
tfWeIl. YOU Just write, and / win tell you
| what have got. Are you ready 80"
"Go on" said the reporter, cycling Daboi
HCosnmerce with the heading," con-
tin,,ed Dabol, CAN Admirable Adjustment
of the Presidential Imbroglio-A PeaceaDie
Solution Of the Problem" :,
"Pve cot it all down, Mr. DaboL' SAID
the reporter, !" continue" Dabol wiped the
perspiration from his massive brow, ana,
| looking toward the ceiling, said ::
GA welLin7ormed politician, who mas
read with interest the various proposltlons
by. which trouble arising from the counting
OF the electoral vote may be ayoIded, mas,
after due consideration, concluded that ne
has eliminated a compromise from the diln-
cuIties of the situation which ls sure 70
be endorsed by the American people. H {,
proposes that the vote OF Louisiana shai,
be given to TiIdep and Hendricks, ana
that they shall be inaugurated; that Thur
man, Of Ohio, shall resign his place IN the
Senate forthwith, and that r. B. Hayes
shall be, elected and chosen president OF
That body. Dir. Hendricks shall imme-
diately be sent Minister to the Court OF st.
James. which pays better than being Vice
| President. MIR. Hayes will thus become
e-Presidcnt, and at the expiration OF
! two wears President Tilden shall resign
and Senator Hayes will succeed him as Pre-
sidcnt for the balance of the term" ,.2l.:y
$50 far SO good" interrupted the re-
porter, ".but what is to become OF Mr.
| Whceler?" :-,.-.,t ..rs.- :;'1..- :
ooh, I've arranged for him." replied
Dabol. "You shouldn't have Interrupted
nBeg PARDON, sir; 20 on"
" The 'pian," continued Dabol, "would
be incomplete unless MIR. Wheeler was as
signed an honorable position. 1t is there
fore suggested that Senator Conkling be re-
quested to resign and accept the French
mission, and that Mr.. Wheeler be elected to
fill the vacancy, and then elected president
Of the Senate after Mr. Hayes becomes Pre-
sident. Mr.. Thurman shall be Secretary OF
State under Tilden, and Mr.. Hendricks, on
his return from the English mission, shall
he elected 10 the Senate to fill the next va
cancy in Indiana. What do you think OF
the plan :"
"Wcll," said the reporter, ~ think l
will write it out and telegraph it to New
York; for il is too brilliant for the columns
Of provincial paper"
"PIeasc do So" said Dabol, as he rushed
from the Office and jumped into South
| Boston horse-car.