The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1876-10-05
SUNBEAM5

years old.
As twice eleven is twenty-five, how ca
twice ten be twenty too.
A man has been arrested for taking
things as they come.
Forgery-A slip of the pen, a playful
habit, writing another persons name.
Wife-One who shares our socrows
doubles our joys, and quldrupl1s oat OK.
penses.
Why do people call for a piece of string
and did anybody ever hear of one calling
for a whole oneP
A saloon keeper in this city. reading shit
%geraniums will keep oil snakes, Is de@orst-
ing his bar with them.
Lives of preachers all remind u,
We may make our lives sublime;
And in dying leave betlind us,
Novels worthy of Il dime.
Mohair chairs are going ont of fashion,
and we are glld of it. A mohair char is
the worst thing in the world 10 sit on when
drawing on n pair Of pints.
How would you like t., be one Of thu
Bcccher jury, and be described as the big
hcadeu young mtu Will cirS ike lfsIlS-
parent turrets?'
In this cold season, a pedestrian miss is
not good for a mile, but she is apt to keen
to her fur-long. The weather supplies chin
chiller enough to max it Il boa.
In Canadian cities besglrs max, quite n
living by picking up ears which have
frozen and dropped off, and returning them
tn fbnir ri ,btf,ll owners.
What time is it?" asked one pass,n or
Of another in y Detroit depot the other lLy.
Ten minutes to wait w,ss the answer, az
the man looked up at the timetable.
Leaning over a garden fence. were two
gossipers, and rs We passed one Of them
remarked: Mis- Patterson, 81 Lr's you live
there's going to be Il slit IN our church,"
George Washington Jinks, a coIorei bar
Der, WAS up b,for- the police conrt y uer-
day. for cutting down a n~eighbor's aptlv
trees. History win repeat itself.
Farmer Stubs has sold his cclebrdt,d
bull, the "Furty-irst Grand Dakc of JIM
sonweeds," for $1,000. He took his pay
III two calves, Valued at $ 0JD eaca.
The report about the world being pre-
cipitated into the sun and burned up III
lao years from now, turns ont to be a
Democratic lie, got up to influence the next
election in New Jersey.
Mr.. Beecher thinks the wickedest thing
in the world is to thunp Il child on the
head. This is undoubtedly true. The best
way to punish a cAll is 10 poar hot bees
wax down it's back.
When 3 Connecticut deacon nua%ed Il
somno4ent worshipper with the con si0u-
ton box, the sleepy individual anose
partially, smiled, murmnrAl. Il don't
smoke!" and droppelo1 az .in.
~ swear" said Il gentleman to his
mistress, you are very han. Tome:. Pooh:
said the lady, $50 you wouid st, if you dil
not think 50" And 50 You woa,d think,
answered he, Though | should not say 81"
All the Candor of Youth-Aunt Bell
(who has Just read aloud 1.-THE Buril OF
Sir John Moore, ")-''Now, then, which Of
the verses dc you Ike the best?" JACK
with alacrity)-"O: L know-'Few anil
short were the prayers we said.
School Inspector Ito urchin)-"Now.
Johnny, how many c:n yoa COUNTY
~Johnny-"One, two, three. four, five, six.
seven, eight, nine, ten" lnspector-"Goot
Johnny, 90 on" Johlny latter a moment,
thought)-"Jack, queen, king, ace"
why, Ichabol, thought you got mar
ricd morn Il year ago" "WA4, Aunt
Jerush. it was talk Of, but I found out
that the girl and all her folks were OPP
posed to it, and so | just gave EN- all the
mitten ami let the thing drop.
Old gentleman (having had to pay twice.
but I'm positive | handed you the
money. 1t may pr 'tbly have dropped
down the slit in the ri" Conductor
SILT in the door! VI faint likely I'm
going to turn the bus upside down for
sixpence!'
A Promising Pupil according to Punch.
-Mistress-"how dos your brother ret on
in New York, Park r." Laly's Maid
Very well. indeed, ma'am thank you.
He's only been there three months, ami he's
already beginning to speak the language
beautiful"
II see very little of you" said an old
gentleman at u ball to a young Ltly whom
he had not met in Il long time before. 81
know it, was the ~artless reply, but
mother wouldn't allow me to wear a very
~low-necked dr>ss tonight, the weather
is so cold
Judge TO intclE 90 j;myman)-"WouM
you convict a nun Oh circnmstaneial evi:
dence?" 81 dunno wot dat is, Jedge.'
"Well, what do you think it is?" "Well
'cordin' to my Judgement, sarcumstdnshil
.. bout dc. Ef p,,n man chnotS or,ilnr
an kills him, he orter be hung for it. Eff
he don't kill him, he orter to go to the
plenipotentiary.'
Inspired being:-"Whenee, oh, whence,
ladies, whence, oh, whence came the mar
vellous instinct, that prompted the minute
being originally contained in this fragile
egg shell, to burst the calcareous envelope
that secluded it from the glories Of the
outer world" Chorus of admiring ladies:
"Whence, oh, whence indeed, Mr.. Honey
comb" Master Tommy:-"Perhaps the
little beggar was afrail he'd be boiled!"
It being unlawful to set man traps and
guns, a gentleman once hit upon q happy
device. He was a scholar and, being often
asked the meaning of mysterious words
compounded from the Greek, that appear
IN every Gay 5 newspaper, anu uhuihS they
always excited wonder by their length and
sound, he had painted on a board, and put
up on his premises, in very large letters,
the following: "Tondapamuoomenos set
up in these grounds" 1t was perfectly a
"patent safety"
Apropos Of the Tyndl- Darwin theories
comes in one of Gen. Schqnck's latest
stories that he told to the wife of a British
Cabinet Officer, who assured him that
England made America all that she is"
Pardon me madam said the General :;
"you remind me of an answer OF the Ohio
lad in his teens, who, attending Sunday
School for the first time, was asked by his
teacher, Who made your Made me?'
yes why God made me about SO long
(bolding his hands about ten inches apart,
but growed the rest 4gE