The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-07-04

Don't work before breakfast. III 1t
is necessary to toll before breakfast, eat
your breakfast first.
A western editor, In his financial ar
ticle saws: money is close, bat not
close enough to reach"
.swill you have me, SARAH" said
youno man to u modest girl mo,
John: put you eau have me "a -"
will.
Why does q coat get larger when ta-
ken out OF q carpet bag? Because, when
you take it out you'll find 1t IN creases'
A writer on school discipline says
"Withont the liberal use OF the rod 1t
is impossible to make boys smart.
Never owe any man more than you
are able to pay. and allow no man TO
owe you more than you are able 10
lose.
When A loafer enters the sanctum OF
n busy editor, and the editor says
"Glad to see you're back" what does
he mean?
Az recent election in Minneapolis,
where women voted, they wreathed the
ballot.boxes with flowers to cover mp
the tobacco-iuice decorations OF last
year.
"I,aee is what rnffies the men now
a.days," says an exchange. This IS
wrong. Lace ruffies the women as usu-
al. II is the paying for II that ruffies
the men.
"What is your business, sir?'' asked
the court in a sharp voice. "A con
chologist." What's that?' said the
Judge. II open clans.
BOYS don't usually repeat their Sun.
day school lesson when their bare feet
come in contact with the business tnd
Of n bee.
A Philosopher says, ''If you would
pass for more than your value, say lit
tie. 1t is easier to look wise than td
talk wise.
A bachelor recently made his will
leaving his entire furniture to be di
yided among the girls who had refused
him. "For To them" he added. feel
ingly, ~ owe all my earthly hsppi
nees.
Over the gate of a graveyard II
southeastern Tennessee is the follow
ing inscription: "No person allowe'
TO be buried in this enclosure excep
those who live in the village.
A father, bent on instructing hi
: three year-old son, said: '.If you ha'
: three apples and should give me one
how many would you have left9'-
do il, pa, was the prompt reply.
I A widower, who had never quarrele
1 with his wife, said the first day of hi
9 marriage Was as happy a. the last. Al
r other widower said the last day Of hi
Q marriage was the happiest.
2 young man in Caliiornis began I
!. read paragraph about mine, To b
q sweetheart, commencing, "Yuba Mir
e -" when she interrupted him will
Q II don't care il 1 do, Jim,"
!, II is a true saying that God fur
: ishes no encouragement to the lazy
and the quicker a man realizes the ia
:, force of these words, the quicker wi
: he be useful, prosperous, aud happ.
'e A Newark girl hsstened the depar
D. ure Of lingering gentleman caller Il
other evening, by remarking, as sl
looked out OF the window, II think '
shall have beautiful sunrise"
M A Young man on the street, bsiI
~ charged with being Lazy. was asked
,e he took il from his father. Il thir
se not" replied the disrespectinl CO.
N fathers got AL the lazinees he ev'
% had"
q Milten was asked by friend wheth
O. ne wonid instruct his daughter in u
ne different languages; TO which be 7
IL Piled. "No ar, one tongue Is sufiicie
al for a woman.
"a .sSfr. Smithers, how can YOU sleeI
IA The sun has been mp these three hour
"well, what il il has?" said Smithel
"He goes 10 bed at dark, while I'm
till after midnight"
ed A girl presenting herself for sit,
Of tion at house where mo Irish ne
re- apply" in answer 10 the qaesti
m where she came from, said; "Su
,ts couldnt ye persaye By me accent 4
~ Friuch am"
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