The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-01-24
APAIR OF sNORERs.
He Turned Out Old Man Billiard and
Then Turned I'm Himself.
From the Virginia Enterprise.

From the Virginia Enterprise.
After the fire old man Billiard found
lodgings on South Z street. he is a
huge, fat, good-natured and very enter
tanning man. The proprietor Of the
lodging house was much pleased with
Billiard, and laughed at his jokes the first
evening Of his arrival at his place till
tears ran down his cheeks. The men who
were TO be Billiards. roommates also
thought we'll Of him-that evening. The
next morning, however, they went to the
landlord and told him that he must find
some other place Tor Mr.. Billiard, as he
! WAS such terrific snorer they couldn't
stand him.
The landlords rooms we're all occupi-
ed, and he had no place for Billiard but
lust where he was. The complaining
dodgers left, and in two or three days
two other men were put into the vacant
bed. Billiard made short work of them;
one night let them out. The Landlord
sought an interview with Billiard, and
demonstrated. Billiard stoutly asserted
that he did not snore-bad never been
known 10 snore, The landlord found
men to take the beds, but again Billiard
cleaned them out in single night.
Growing desperate, the landlord again
went to Billiard He told him he must
either leave the house or pay rent for all
the beds in the room, S45 per month.
Billiard said bargain was bargain;
/ he had paid SIS for his bed, and he in
tended keeping it till his month was up,
and he didn't propose to pay for beds he
had no use for he didn't snore, and the
man who asserted to the contrary was a
liar and horse thief. The landlord felt
very much depressed after this last inter
view with Bullard, as he saw he WAS
determined not to be removed from his
quarters. A mo- ming or two after, ss
billiards. landlord was going down town,
he SAW standing in the door brother
lodging house man.
THANK heaven, he's gone!' said the
man. as Billiards landlord came up.
Thank heaven, I'm rid of him nj
LAST
"Rid of whom
"Whv. of the big lat man you see
wonder, waddling down the street"
What OF him!
"Enough of him! He drove nearly
every man out of the house before be
left. They wouldn't stop in the same
block with that snSrting Falstatfian por-
poise, sir
"Hes good one, is he?"
"a good onel He's perfect terror!
He's more different kinds of snorer
than any man l ever heard, and every
time he changes his key it is for the
worse. While / had him here crowds
were gathering in front of the house
nightly, wandering what was the matter
within, and the police came in one night
thinking some one was being murdered.
Nv dog ran away, and all the cats lett
the house, sr!'
"And the man you pointed out TO me
is this snorer?'
Yes, sir, he is"
"Gcod dav, sir!' and Billiards land
lord fastened down the street.
The next morning, with the first peep
of day, Bullard rushed into the presence
OF his landlord. 49,,
"What are YOU trying to play on me?'
cried he; 81 never slepta wink all night.
OF all the internal noises ever heard,
that man in my room got of the worst.
Is he going to stay there?'
STAY! OF course he is. Hain't he got
the bed for a mouth?
Then leave" and Billiard WAS as
good as his word
An hour afterward, the man who had
ous,ed Bullard arose and waddled serene
" into the presence of the landlord.
"You've cleaned him out," said the
landlord. you raised him; he's gone
for coodr and the landlord gleetully
rubbed his hands. "Now," continued the
landlord, sIll give you good square
breakfast, and then you can 60.
"Go,' said the fat man; "not much l
don't Didn't YOU say last evening, III
the presence of Billiard and half dozen
Others, that | WAS 10 stay here month!
But that, you know, was only to
~ know nothing of the kind, and
shall stay here! am human; must
have some place in which 10 repose.
The landlord is now trying to get
some man 10 set up some kind OF ma
chine in his house that will Dust this
snorer, who now has the whole place &c
himself, except a small room IN the cor
nor Of tho third story, where he and his