The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-01-19

works inside That's what gets me-
said Pitman. "1f it amt got no insides,
how's it goin' to go!'' "Mr. Fitman
where have you located that sun.dial
In the garden g "Garden! Be gracious
no! What do want with a time.piece
in the garden? It's hung in the settin'
room agin the wall" Then Mills ex.
planned it to him, and Pitman has since
exchanged his sun.dial for a four. dollar
clock.
A POWERFUL FEASIBLE MEMORY.
Virginia (Nev.) Enterprise.]
The bootblack at the corner stand on G
street was looking for q customer. He
was as black as the ace Of spades, and as
he carclcssly busted off his stand with the
stump Of a corn brush he occasionally
paused and. rolled his eyes hungrily up
and down the street.
Presently a tail, raw-boned, middle
aged man, with a considerable length of
goatee and not little breadth of hat
rim, stopped and glanced at the stand
with some show Of interest.
''Have shine, boss ?''said the owner of
the stand, giving his chair parting dab
with his brush. ''Shine 'em up in half a
mint, sab. You'll jist have time to
glance over de mornin' papers,
Without dcigning an answer the ]ank
chap climbed into the seat before him.
"Whar ye rollin' them pants to?''
was his first remark after the owner of
the stand began to operate.
"All right now, boss. We mustn't
muss 'em, you see. It's all feasible now,
sah.'
"Wcll, proceed to business
''l's movin' boss; is a movin' sah!''
"Wall, see that you keep a movin'.'
''Dc people of de souf,' said the boot
black, cockingia cunning eye up at his GUS
toner, 'de people Of de souf (another
look of the eye) most allus gives us poor
cullud boys any little feasible job dey's
got.''
"You think I'm from the south?''
''l'se from the souf myself, sah."
"Likely.''
''l'se from de souf, saffron ole Kahn.
tuck, sah.'
''lndeed!''
"Sartin, boss. Use from Lexington,
Kaintuck, sah,' scraping away with an
old case knife at the mud on the solcs of
his customers boots.
''I'm from Kentucky myself, and from
Lexington" said the man, beginning to
look interested. $50 you are from Lex.
ington, eh?''
! ''Ges SO, boss. Practically was born
dar, sah.''
Like you I was born thar
"Nice old town. b0SS''
''Very."
81 golly. boss, ef didn't think from
the fust that saw in you the rale old
Kaintucky gentleman. You've got a
good deal of the cut of some of dem law
and med'cn students dat used to be
about de ole Transyl9ania varsity; but
you'sc aged a-l.e.etle grain more dan was
de boys in dem days."
''Ive often seen the old university
1T was fine old town, too. De main
stredt was NOR than q mile long; dar
war beautiful trees long de street and dc
orphan 'sylum an de baggin' facterys, de
wire.works, an de-
1.-The lunatic asylum
*'Yey, boss, shore huff. dar was de lu.
natic 'sylum."
"And the river"
AN de riber; golly, dat fist big
bend in Town Of Elkhorn, up hove de
city-practically dat was a mighty feast.
BILE proposition for CATFISH
"Amazin'.''
Il say, boss, practically, you never
happened to know culled boy named
Columbus Parsons: as lived out on de
road to'ards whar ole Henry Clay was
borned-oat to'ard Ashland-did yer
sah?''
~ knowed a culled boy named Colum.
bus Parsons that rode ole Woodpecker
against Plocghboy, down at the Blue
Grass course, and won the puss.''
''De Lord love us! Was you dar? De
great honkky! Practically, am dat
same Columbus Parsons what rode ole
Woodpecker an won de puss down dar to
Blue Grass
1.-The Columbus Parsons I knowed used
to be great fiddler; played for all the
balls and parties for miles around.''
dat was me, sab. I was de boy.
Now you's a-beginning to know me-
*'The Columbus Parsons that used ia
know was a great singer-was lightnin'
at all the niger camp meetins'.''
dat was me, boss; I'm identically and
practically dat same Columbus Parsons!
You's got de most feasible mem'ry dat
ever saw, sab.
THE Columbus Parsons that knowed
went down to Frankfort and run on the
river as steward on the Bell Wagner
''Yah, yah! You knows me-you
knows me, boss! you knows me like a
brudder, sab! In dem days didn't put
on dc apparel! Wasn't attired? Prac.
tically, sab, you's got the most feasible
mem'ry dat I ever saw
''The Columbus Parsons that knowcd,