Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-07-19
Massey.
Petroleum v. Goes to the st.
Louis Convention.
He Returns Entirely Satisfied with
the Platform and Candidates.
Toledo Blade

He Returns Entirely Satisfied with
the Platform and Candidates.
Toledo Blade.
CoSFEpRlr Y ROADS. wICH Is IN THE
STATE OF KENTUCKY. Joon Goth, 1876.
i hey returned from St. Loois, and
nifty glad l am to git back to the
scene of my fucher labor for the next
four months. st. Loois is hot city,
but cz the likkcr is alluz good there,
and cz the Tilden delegates, ez we'll as
the anti-Tilden ones, he'd lots NV
money, I made out to get on. Ez they
never argood with delegate without
askin him to take suthin, ! didn't
make up my mind till the very last.
1t wuz the most interestin conven-
shun l ever attended, and have been
to ON all. scncc the one that nomi-
mated Martin Van Boorcn. This wuz
the most interestin. because it was so
thoroly devotid to reform, which allus
is my best holt. Eff l can't be re-
formin suthin am abslootly MIRA
bic.
lt.gave me no hopes NV the Repub-
lie to see the sperit NV reform that
filled the solos NV all the Dimocrisy
presGni,--that is, nearly all NV EN-.
Occasionally an anxious-lookin farm
er delegate wood remark, "Wat shell
we do with the currency p and then
John Morrisey wood immejitly shut
him up with the remark, oh the
currency-wat we want is reform in
the Government
And when Moo England biznis
man wood ask. swat shell we do with
the currency 2" Boss Kelly wood d--n
him for introdosin disturbin elemence
in the convenshun. "Wat we want
is reform" the Boss wood continyoo;
and eff the man didn't sing small, some
Of the Bosses reformers wood go
thro' him. A great man is Boss Kel-
ley. don't wonder that the Moo
York Dimocrisy love him.
John Morrisey is the most ardent
reformcr | know nv. He wuz so en-
tircly devotid to it that | saw him
stop a game NV faro, at a bank witch
he run doorin the convenshun, to ar
goo with an lnicany delegate, who
WIZ losin bootifully, that eff the
Dimocrisy didn't git control NV the
Moo York Custom House and Post
offs. the country was rooined shOor.
In the COZ NV reform he wuz willing
to devote all the profits NV his banks
at Saratoga and Washington.
Boss Kelly wuz even more urgent
for reform than Morrisey. He said
that until Tammany got possession of
the Government, he Good see nothin
but room ahed. Give him a platform
which pronounced squarcly for re-
form, and he wood feel encurridged
to promise a Democratic majority NV
10000 in the city of Moo York alone.
With the Custom House and Postotfis
in the control NV Tammany, he Good
afford to pay ten thousand repeaters,
and give stiddy employment to every
shoulder-hitter and brooser in the
city. He wood feel justified in chart
erin Il thousand gin-mills, and to
make shoor NV the State he wood
promise to give any majority in the
city that mite be needed. Reform
wuZ his watchword.
Doolittle wanted reform - he
yearned for il. lie said that until n
President WIZ elected that wood
make it possible for him to be Minis
ter TO England there wuz no hope NV
the Republic. He was disposed to
yceld everything in sich matters ez
currency, and tariffs, and SIGH, but it
wuz of the first importance that the
country be properly represented at
the Court nv st. James.
The Southern delegates wuz ckally
urgent for reform. Wat they felt
wuz necessary wuza complete change.
They he'd groaned for twelve years
under the horrors NV niger yotin,
and anything that wood give EN- re-
ieei from that wood satisfy EN-. Envy
thing TO git back to the good old idee
nv the soopremaey nv the sooperior
TO his normal condishun. One Georgy
delegate actooally she'd tears over the
sutlerins he had endoored. He sobbed
audibly Wen he remarked that it wu2
now ten yccrs last Christmas sence he
had shot niger. His shotgun hung
yooselis over his Fireplace, and there
wuz ashes on his harth. GIVE us a
Democratic administrator and re-
form J" he yelled, and immejitely ac-
ceptcd the invitashun of Tilden del
egate to take suthin. None NV EN-
ever refoosed that from anybody.
The work of the convenshun wuz
well done, and victory must perch
upon our banners. There wuz row
among the Moo York delegashen
witch threatened at one time to maj
its harmony. but it was happily cot
tied. There wuz a conferences and the
ofiises wuz divided SO as to satisfy all
the reformers. Kelly is to continyoo
in possession nv Tammany Hall and
the city, while them ez favored the
great and good Tilden will hev con-
troll nv the Federal patronage. En- cx-
traordinary services will be needed,
moo otfises will be created, and APP
pointments that materially wood go to
the Republican States will all be given
to the doubtful ones. Several re-
formers who wuzn't satisfied with
this arrangement-with promesis NV
wat WIZ TO be given en- after the
elcction-wuz pade so much money
in hand. after which they were ez en-
thoosiastie for the great reformer as
anybody. ] stood ont myselfand got
fair slice, bnt it didn't do me any
good. Bascom WIZ with me and saw
the money paid, and he demanded it
NV me, and got it, too, on account.
There amt anything i'm life so dis
gustin e2 payin old likker bills. That
likkcr is gone, and amt no good to
yoo--it cant warm your bowels agin.
Under stimulatin inflooences one kin
afford to pay,-but to pay this yeer
for last yecr's delites, which hey fed
forever and can't never be recalled,
except in memory, its disgustin. l
never did like to pay for memories
they amt substanShaI.
But ! shell hev the Post Offs at the
Corners, shoor, if Tilden is elected,
but long before the time comes shell
be in debt to Bascom agin.
The platform can't help sootin the
Dimocrisy nv the entire country, per-
tikelcrly when the candidates is taken
in account. 1t is the most flexible
platform | ever helped to construct,
and the Dimocrat which can't stand
onto il amt worth the name. In
Ohio and lnjeany we shed swear
it's soft money-and reform, and pint
proudly to Hendricks. In New York
and the east we shell swear it's hard
moncy-and reform, and pint proud
ly to Tilden.
Ez ! shell hev to stump both seek
shuns l hev two speeches, alreddy
prepared, one of which is hard money
and one soft and the other oraterS Of
the party have fixed themselves like
wise. ] wood seiest, now, that Their
may be no mistakes, that committy
be appinted in each place, where a
speech is to be made, to see that he
gifts the right speech started. After
the reform speaker hez made his
speech to the citizens, NV course he
shood be allowed to git ez full ez he
CHOICES, but it wood be terrible to
hey him git up and make the speech
in Hartford, Connecticut, that was
intended for the latitude of Terre
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