The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-01-13
NOTHING AND NOBODY.

Farmer Giles was rapidly arriving at
the conclusion that Nothing and Nobody
were the two great curses Of his life. He
was fractions, irritable man, but the
two Ms had worried him past all irri-
tation into philosophy. He meuitated
over question, which every day seemed
more momentous in this fashion:
'Either there's more lyin' down in
this world than 1 had any idea of, or
science is all humbug when it says that
wrong effect has cause. Dominie's
hoy says so, but he's a varmint and con-
tradicts himself twenty times a day.
The fence was broken down and nobody
the smashed forcing frame. He'd been
doing nothing and so couldn't have done
it. The cats were tied together over the
clothes line, and fit till they clawed each
other mp. Nobody did it. They must
have b en- born that way and grown up
in Siamt Sc twin style, and nobody
knew it. 1t beats me all to smash.
The farmer went out, still pondering
the problem. He was an educated man,
who took some pride III his education,
and didn't like to give it up all at once,
so he thought he would wait further
developments. To understand how the
matter puzzled him, it is necessary to
explain that though occasionally some
what high tempered, he was, when left
alone, rather mild map, with great
deal of open simplicity, and an instinct
i've love OF truth, He always had an
idea that telling lie was punishment
of itself He never did it, and it never
would have occurred to him, until it was
forced upon his notice, that anybody
wonld rather lie than bear the blame of
a fault. His own honesty made him un-
suspicious and confding, especially in
the unsopbisticated innocence of the
rising generation. His great fault was
that when anything troubled him She
WIS in tho habit of falling into reverie
over it, and then vanish mildness. and
woe bctide the individual who ventured
to break in upon him.
He went out, it had been said, his
mind "still next Bermoothes," and
his eyes troubled and dangerous. On
reaching the stable door he spied the
housemaid Sue rushing out with flushed
face, then turning and creeping back on
tiptoe. On seeing him she blushed
scarlet but tried to look demure.
K; What are you doing here, Sue"
Nothing, sir"
"Who's with you?"
"With me? Nobody, sir. ;"
Hum. That's strange. The same
old story. Nothing, nobody. All You
here, Joe! What's brought you over so
early Z"
"Oh nothing"
81 see. You two are helping each
other. Takes two to do nothing, ell,
Sue? And this is Mr.. Nobody, eh 2 l
call that more funny then civil; but,
p'raps, he's used to it, and 1 don't know
that you're so far wrong after all.
With which growl he passed into the
stable. He went to where his own horse
was stalled, and turned in evident dis
pleasure to the saddle rack to find cause
for an access to wrath.
"Dick Dick! where are you2
Where have you been, and what are you
doing2"
"Nowhere, nothing, SIR
$50 there's been three of those pre-
cious youngsters at that that job this
morning. Well, 1 don't wonder they
want company, at least 1 always hated
doing nothing alone when I was young. "
Then aloud:
"Who had my horse outl"
"Nobody, SIR"
"Then what's the matter with his
feet2 and what's wrong with the har-
ness 2"
No-othing, SIR"
"Nothingl Can't see, you internal
idiot? Do you suppose l am blind,
mad, or what! Can't tell that his feet
are sore, and two straps are broken 2"
He eyed the youpgster for a moment
with wrathful soorn, and then left, re-
asping into his reverie.
"wonderful, positively wonderful