The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-01-28

We will write thy story,
And keep thy glory
As pure a OF old for Thousand Years!
Wit and HumOr.
AS THE nights begin to lengthen, the
gas-bills begin to strengthen.
WHEN the daughter of horiculturist
wants anemone, she goes to her poppy,
of course.
CHARLES O'CoNoR's digestion troubles
him, but he does not propose to die-gest
yet.-BOstOn Post.
WHEN a man drops his hat in the
street, he always picks it up with sort
of mean look, as If he had stolen it.
A HIGHLAND young lady was informed
that blindman's buff was the fashionable
color, and asked for some silk of that
shade on her visit to Aberdeen.
A KEEN satirist of our society has de-
scribed typical young lady as looking
at you with an expression which said
"Slap-your- face for-two-cents.
IT'S sweet TO sit at eventide.
Some willin' female form beside,
And love-like purr and smoker;
To feel, whatever deyilish arts
Are sundrng other kindred hearts,
You two are growing thicker.
AN individual who resides on Factory
Island, Saco, admits that he has been a
fool for the last fourteen years, having
wound up an eight-day clock every day
for that period of time.
MANY man who would roll up his
eyes in terror at the idea of stealing a
nickel will swoop down on silk UNI
brella worth $40, and march off with his
lips moving peacefully as if in prayer.
A WHITE boy upon meeting a colored
boy asked him what he had so short
nose for, upon which the darkey re-
piled 81 s'pect it's so !. won't be
poking my nose into other peoples bust
ness"
WHY did Pharaoh kill the boy babies
of the Hebrews, and not the girls2"
asked the teacher of her class of girls
the other day. because boys are so
much worse than girls" was the prompt
reply of little maid.
A PARsIMoNIoUs old lady in Glasgow,
the other day addressed fshmonger as
follows, "Well, master, how are you
selling your half salmon, the moo 2"
"When we catch one half salmon will
let you ken," was the reply.
A FELLOW in Dorrisyville, CAL, had
mother who dislikcd the girl whom he
had engaged to marry. Said the mother,
"Ill give you the brindle steers and the
mule if you don't marry her" He took
the brutes in preference to the girl.
"No, GEORGE" she said in response
to his question, lit is not true that
string of new belt buckles in a shop
window would make any woman lose
train /; but - she added, musingly,
sometimes she might have to run
little"
LITTLE Alice was crying bitterly, and
on being questioned, confessed to hay
ing received slap from one of her
playfellows. "You should have re-
turned it" unwisely said the questioner.
"Oh, 1 returned it before" said the
little girl.
"H How are you getting on in your new
place." asked lady of girl whom she
had recommended for situation. every
well, thank you" answered the girl. 81
am glad to hear it," said the lady.
Your employer is very nice lady, and
you cannot do too much for her."
don't mean to, ma am, was the innocent
reply.
SCENE at Brooklyn wedding break
fast. Company all seated about the
table. A pause in the general converse
ton. Happy husband, to his wifes
seven-year- old sister at the other end of
the room: "Well, Julie, you have
new brother now" Julie" Yes, but
mother said to papa the other day that
she was afraid you would never amount
to much, but that it seemed to be Sarah's
last chance" Intense silence for mo-
ment, followed by rapid play of knives
and forks.
The cantata of Belshazzar was re-
Gently rendered in Portland before
large and cultivated audience. On the
following Sabbath young lady, who
taught class of little boys in mission
school, took occasion to tell the young
hopefuls of the lively King and his
vision. After completing the story, she
desired to see how well the boys remem-
bered what she had told them, and so
asked "Who was Belshazzar One
little fellow, whose father took part in
the recent play, sprang from his seat
with the pleasant information "He
was Mr.. Brown, from Boston, and my
father was" The flow of information
was here checked.
"Do LOOK at KAT bonnet, with blue trimming
ON il,
wish YOU would LET me go buy IL, dear j."
Thus said Mrs Jones, in her most coaxing tones,
While walking down town with her husband one
day.
"My love" replied he, "twould cruel be in me,
Were such a modest request 10 refuse;
SO you may remain here the rest Of the day, dear,
And go by that bonnet as much as you choose"
The Manufacture OF Thread.