Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-12-06

A HUMOROUS SKETCH

me so long at the store that found i
rather late when I finally dismissed tn
last clerk and closed the doors. 1t wa
on the way to my lodgings that it oc
CURED to me that 1 needed barber
services the first thing before goin,
home to dress, for l imagined that
could dress my hair better to suit m.
taste than the knight of the razor could
1 dropped into the customary shol
and found three ahead of me, with tw'
others in the chair undergoing manipu
lations.
When they had been attended to th'
other two took their seats. l glanced
at the remaining one; he was q younl
Irishman of about twenty-three year,
or so, and evidently laborirg z man h
had rough beard to shave and shocl
of red straight hair.
Heavens" thought /, ''if he should
conclude to have his hair cut! Ther
would l indeed run the risk of beins
late to the party"
With these thoughts in my mind
seated myself by his side, and said
''Pardon me, sir, am I'm hurry ant
wish to get shaved as quickly as posi-
BILE; if you will let me have your
turn 1 shall pay the barber for what
ever you want DONE"
"Pm agreed, sur" was the prompt
answer.
'I'm obliged to you, SIR" said 1, quite
relieved.
"Sure, it isn't in the nature of Pat
Ryan to refuse favor to a gintleman
who proves himself as liberal as your
honor" replied Pat.
So l took his turn, and when the
Irishman was seated after 1 was done,
l turned to the proprietor and said:
"Mr. johnson, l shall pay for what
ever this gentleman requires at your
hands,"
The barber nodded and broad grin
overspread the face of Pat Ryan; doubt
less the term gentleman" which l ap-
ened away, also smiling.
Now, what took place after l was
gone was related to me by Mr.. johnson
when l came there two days later to
pay Pats bill and get another shave
myself.
After Ryan had been shaved, he re-
quested to have his head shampooed,
and when Mr.. johnson demonstrated,
Pat exclaimed: "Sure, an didn't the
gintleman say he would pay fur what
l wanted done?"
The barber was obliged to admit this
fact. and Pat underwent a thorough
shampoo.
The tonsorial artist was about to
take off the wrappings, when his Gus
toner observed quietly:
"Misther Barber, think you may
currel my hair!'
"Come, my dear sir" said the operat-
or i'm an offended tone, "Mr. Selwyn
scarcely intended that you should have
your hair curled."
''Misther Selwyn knows nething of
my wishes or wants." was the smiling
response; "this matter concerns meself
intirely."
"But my dear sir"
'To the divil wid your buts," inter-
rupted the incorrigible son of Erin,
rising in his chair and appealing to
those in the shop: "Gintlemen." said
he, "Some Of We wur prisint whin the
gintlemin tould the barber that he
would pay for all that required done !;
didn't he say so?"
All declared this to be the truth.
"Well, thin, Misther Barber, 60 on
wild your woruk, an don't keep a GIN
tleman waitin'," said Pat.
And amid rather loud smiles, Pats
stiff hair was curled.
"There, now," said the barber, glad
to have done with such troublesome
customer; but the Irish gentleman was
not ready to leave his seat yet, and lean
ing over till his mouth nearly touched
Mr.. Johnson's ear, he said in loud
whisper, heard by all in the shop:
"Be obligin' enough to dye me NOUS
tache!''
''The mischief!" exclaimed the irate
shaver.
"No, sur, the moustache," quietly
observed Mr.. Ryan as he dropped back
into his seat and closed his eyes.
Mr.. johnson gazed around at his Gus
toners half distracted, but by mods and
winks they urged him to humor the
man. With sigh of resignation, he
began the new process just as Pat OPEN
ed his eyes and with an inquiring
glance seemed to ask why he delayed
his operations.
The red moustache was turned into a
deep black, and the contrast between
it and the red beard was so ludidrous as
to create hearty laugh from all as
sembled.
Instead of taking offence, the good
natured Irishman arose and observed: :
'Let those laugh who win."
"Can 1 do anything else for you, Mr..
Ryan ?" asked Mr.. johnson, sarcastical-
ly, as the hishman complacently sur
veyed himself in a mirror.
"Yis, sir" was the reply. ''l'll jist
take bath"
The Mortified face of he tonsorial
artist caused another laugh, in which
the author Of it joined heartily, as he
followed an attendant to the bathrooms.
While the @hard customer" as
johnson called him, was at his ablu-
tions, the customers quizzed the barber
numerically, but that individual con
soled himself with the idea of the round
bill he would make me pay for my in
discretion, as he termed it.
At length Pat came forth and re-
marked that he felt as fresh as daisy
What more can do for your" once
more asked the barber, doubtless think
Ing; that Ryan had exhausted his wants.
But who ever came off the best man In
an encounter of wit with live Irish
ruaup