Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1876-06-22

God grant that l forget Him not in this
great joy! !"
ARTEMUs WARD.-We take the fol-
lowing extract from recent criticism
of the writings of Artemus Ward or C.
F. Brown. The following is letter to
country editor:
One Of Mr.. Wards Business Letters:
shall hav my handbills dun at your
ofiss. Depend upon it. l want you
shold git my handbills up in flamin stile.
Also git a tremenjus excitement in VI
paper 'bowtmy unparalleled Show. We
must fetch the public sumhow. We
must wurk on their feelins. Come the
moral on 'em strong. If it's a tenn
prance community, tell 'em sined the
pledge fifteen minits arter Ise born; but
on the contery eff your peple take their
tods, say MIR. Ward is as Jenial feller
as we ever met, full of conwiviality,
s the life an Sole of the Soshul Boie.
II you say anything abowt my show,
say my snaiks is an HARMLESS as the new
born Babe. What interestin study
it is to see neurological animil like a
snaik under perfeck subjecshum! Nv
kangaroo is the most larfable little cuss
| ever saw. All for Is cents. | am
anXyus to skewer your intloounce.
repeet in regard to them handbills that
| shall git 'em struck OFF up to your
Printin offiiss. My perlitercal senti-
ments agree with yourn exackly, know
they do, becawz | never saw a man
whoos didn't.
Respectively yuresy A. WARD.
TIE Artemus Ward liteeaturel-isv is
still Scattered, anu tf5e laS. G fSacting
it in single volume from ssaiumns
of contemporary newspapets, and ar
ranging it intelligently and@according to
date, is still to be performed-consists
OF letters to editors ofvarious newspapers
on the political and social topics OF the
day, and to his strong-minded, middle
aged wife. As the fictitious Snowman
grows into fame, he thinks it due to the
public to give sum leading incidents
OF his life.
Il hav no doubt, he writes to news
paper editor, "that a article onto nv
life, gramatycally jerked and properly
punktooated, would be addition to the
chois literatoor OF the day.
To the yooth of Ameriky it would be
vallyble as showin how high pinnykle
OF fame man can reach who commen-
ses his career with small canvas tent
and pea green OK, which he rubbed
1t of while scratchin hisself auin the
center pol, causin, in Railway, N. j.,
dlscriminatin' mob to say humbugs
would not go down in their village
The OK resoomed agricultural pursoots
shortly afterwards.
tried my hand at given Blind-man
concerts, appearin as the poor blindman
myself. But the infamus cuss who
hired to lead me round towns in the
daytime to excite sympathy drank free
iy OF spirltoous ticker unbeknows to me
one day, and while under their infoo-
ance he led me into the canal. ! had
either TO tear the green bandige from
my eyes or be drowned. / tho't I'd
restore my eyesisht,
In writin about these things, Mr.. Ed.
itor, kinder smooth 'em over. Speak
of EN- as eccentrissities of genus.
If you see fit to kriticise my Show
speak your mind freely. do, not OBJ
ject to kriticism. Tell the public, in a
candid and graceful article, that my
show abounds in moral and startiin
cooriosities, any one Of whom is wuth
bubble the price of admission.
hav thus far spoke ofmyself excloo-
sively as an exhibitor.
was borne IN the State Of Maine of
parents. As an infant | attracted a
great deal of attention. The nabers
would stand over my cradle tor hours
and say, How bright that little face
looks! How much it nose,
have alters sustained good moral
character. was never a Railroad Di-
rector in my life.
am a early riser. may
add that am also bald-headed. keep
two cows.
lam 55 (56) years of age. Time,
with its relentless scythe, is ever busy.
The old Sexton gathers them in, he
gathers them inl / keep q pig this
year.
Truly yours,
ARTEMUs WARD.