The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1876-07-15
BUBBLES.
Everybody enjoys a finished sermon.

Everybody enjoys finished sermon.
The rose that all are praising- Heroes.
How to put horse on his metal-Shoe
him.
How to treat wifc-Treat her to
new dress.
A cellar under ground-A defunct
tradesman.
An affair of the heart-The circulation
Of the blood.
The "buEip of destructiveness "A
railway coksson.r-,
-" You look as If you were beside your
SELL" said wag to fellow who stood by
donkey.
An editors pistol having been stolen,
he advertises that if the thief will return
it he will give him the contents and no
questions asked.
"A New Haven man confessed that he
married his wife because she was good
carver. That's the kind of a help meat
every man wants.
Rather Mixed. An Irish editor says
that "a child was run over in the street
by wagon three years old and cross eyed,
with pantalets on, which never spoke after
ward"
1t was Harness who said of the French
that they did not know what they wanted,
and would not rest till they got it. But
might not this be said of all feminine peo-
Piles and people,
douglass Jerrold says that Eve ate the
apple in order that she might dress. This
is not improbable. But it does not appear
that she dressed very extravaganty. That
was left for her daughters.
An Irish advertisement: eff the gen.
tleman who keeps shoe store with a red
head will return the umbrella of young
lady with the ivory handle, he will hear
something to his advantage"
elm ahoat! Pm afoatu' screamed a
young lady of powerful lungs and fingers
to match, as she exercised both at the
piano. 81 should think you WERE" growl-
ed an old bachelor, Judging from the
squall you raise"
The first Lord of the Admiralty on his
first voyage down the Thames, in rather
leaky vessel, observed the men working tne
pumps. "Dear me!' he said, "I did not
know you had a well on board, captain,
but am really very glad, as | do detest
river water"
Somebody asked man who was
troubled with boils, yesterday, what he
was taking for them. He said he had bern>
taking dollar piece, but he was wiling
to let a friend have one for seventy five
cents. True friendship is far above merce-
nary considerations.
A contemporary asks, "What are
street lamps for?" The man who dosen't
know what street lamps are for is hardly
fit to sit in an editorial chair and motld
public opinion. Street lamps, of course,
are for weary young men to recline against
at midnight or after, when they have lost
their bearings or forgotten their way home.
One who had the reputation of being
a great philosopher, an experienced man of
the world, a profound thinker, and an
acute observer, with deep insight into
human nature, has left on record the ex-
preston of his firm conviction that no man,
however gifted, however fortunate in his
domestic relations, however successful in
his public undcrtak ings, can be pronounced
happy, whose trowsers bag at the knees.
"A new "station has lately been es-
tablished in growing town on the Troy &
Boston railroad, and worthy son of Erin
appointed as agent, with instructions to
hang out the red flag whenever there were
passengers awaiting the train. AS the cars
came through next morning, the engineer
saw the flag out, and stopped. The con-
ductor looking out for passengers, and see
ing no one but the agent, asked him
there were any passengers to get on, wb
he answered with an honest "No." "T'
why did you stop the train? ?" said the
ductor Why" exclaimed the age,
thought somebody might want to 20
That agent was Immediately pror
a professorship on gravel train.