The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1876-01-07
J0LLYGRAPHS.

Il say, wife, wifel what have you
done with the other leg of these pantsl'
said old Biifkins, who, little befuddled
from his last nights spree, was trying to
get into Mrs. Blifkin's pinback dress
Mrs. Henry. said John to his wife,
the other evening, ''if you give me
Christmas present this year, please arr
range it so that the bill WON'T come in
till the next month. Its just as well to
keep up the illusion for short time
a little sprite that had been so very
sick that at one time she was expected
to die, was told by the doctor that she
would get we'll again. II am glad of
it, she said, II don't want to die and go
to heaven and be an angel, and wear
fedders like hem
y Newport man has a sagacious New
foIndland dog, which he would like to
sell to some man with q large family
who lives near a pond. The noble erea-
ture catches and eats chickens and geese,
but viii! not eat children unless driven
to it by the fiercest hunger.
The Shelbyville (Ky.f Republican says
that the worst case of selfishness that it
has been permitted to present to tine
public emanaJed from youth who com
plained because his mother put q bigger
mustard plaster on his younger brother
than she did on him, after they had
been eating melons and hard apples.
A young woman from the rural dis
trict entered a dry goods store the other
day, aud asked for pai- of stockings.
The clerk politely asked her what mum
Der she wore, ''Why, two, yoa blasted
fool. Do you suppose am a centipede,
or have got a wooden Ieg2 How many
do you suppose "A two legged hair-piR
would wear
During a recent examination of a class
of youngsters ia one OF the Chsmung
county schools, the teacher asked,
''WhaL IS "a monsrehy.7 and was imnl@-
distely an.$ered by bright little eight
year old boy: "a country governed by
king WHO would rule if the king
should die" ''The queen" "And if
the queen should die, who then would
be ruler;' ''The jack"
Small boy-''Say. pa, will you buy
me = new sled for Cbristmas' Close
tisted ptrent ~ Johnny, L don't think
there's going 20 be much snow this win
ter, and you wouldn't have a chance to
enjoy a new sled, bgs I'll tell you what
| will do You just b. a good boy. and
I'll get your saw filed 50 that it wiz cur
through stick OF wool just like cdeese.f
Rochester Democrat
\ doctor went out West to practice
his profession IN old friend met him
on the street one day, and asked h::.i
how lie was succeeding in his business
''First rate, he replied; '1've had one
case" ''Well, and what was thatF' ''It
was brth.7 said the doctor. ''How
did you succeed with thatlp .'Well, the
old woman died and the child died, bat
l think I'll save the oI man yet
There was an entertaiament u iew
evenings ago among some OF our semi
fashiOnables Up town. and young man
with a downy mOustaehe sang senti-
mental song, the closing line being rem
dered: Ny mother died whenI was
very y od-n e." Between the and the
g a disgusted auditor started for the
door, muttering sensible woIEan, that
mother Of yours ~-EfeAt71 Gazette.
The Board of Supervisors Of Oranz.s
county, New York, which fed IS, 00a
tramps last.year, has enacted a law for
the erection of temporary work houses
in each town. Every 'fromv' applying
for relief will be sentenced to imprison-
ment with hard labor for from fige 10
sixteen days.