The Hawaiian gazette., 1876-04-12
VOL. XII.---NO. b.
miscellaneous Itcnls.


siarve to death on their door-steps and the
wouldn't know anything about it.
Captain Jennings who was 10 command OF th
steamer Adriatic when she ran down the shin
Harvest Queen, commanded the steamer Oceanic
on her first trip from Hongkoug aud Yokohama
70 this port.
II the number of coasting accidents in Vir
giuia City and Gold Hill continues for few
days longer in the same proportion as has been
reparted Tor the past week, man with broken
leg will be rdra aUis
q" Six ine5riated workmen is what one oil
our correspondents wrote. and our most gifted
compositor got il ' Sir Alichialet NOrmen and
be did his best, too IGe moral is obvious
wuie on only one side Of the sheet.
One for her mob Young lady visitor There
there, don't cry like that, even suppose you did
\ fll down stairs and hurt yourself | shouldn't -
Young gentleman Oh, / dessay not; but
ain't got a chinyou, like you J"
Detroit Free Press: "The Courier Journal
says The government has 9T3g mules in ITS
I employment Did you count those loafng
I around the House Of Representatives at Wash
ington2" To which the Courier replies "Why,
I you great BOBBY. can't you tell jackass from a
Government muleY"
Naughty jim Blanchard, who tried to per-
suade people that be was the only original Char
ley loss, told, among other things that " When
papa wanted TO plague mamma he used to call
her Bjdy, aud she used to him Old Pug Nose
Mr. Ross said " II that is Charley, be can stay
just where be is"
on that head man Of the Chicago Times
Here's the way he announces in bold head
lines the execution of couple of murderers /;
' Necks Tweaked-Two Pittsburgh Murderers
we're Metaphorically Jerkei iuto the Middle OF
IL Now let somebody put ahead on him.
The workingmen OF New York City held a
very large meeting 10 urge upon our law
makers the importance Of promptly adopting
such measures as will revive our Industries, and
they seem to be terribly in earnest.
An up-country exchange, located in the viciui-
ty OF Sugar camp" in aluding to the near ap-
pr0ach OF Spring, says Soon the dusky squaw
viii be seen sraining maple sugar from her
Winter stockings"
The NORTH Monumental Gold aud Silver Min
ing Company incorporated yesterday with S.
100000 capital, to mine in Gold Hill Nevada
The directors are 5. w. Moyle, II. II. Hobbs
J.E- Mcdonald. DIV. Douthilt, and J.W. Pence
Samuel NJ. Wilson Esq, who stands IN the
ir0nt rank Of attorneys IN this city, has been ap-
pointed by the President Special Counsel to
conduct Internal Revenue cases in the Courts of
this city. In politics MIR. Wilson is Democrat.
They we're seated at a late dinner, when the
door bell rang, and the servant handed card to
Jones wife. Good gracious It's our minis
ter and I've been eating onions" she exclaimed.
Never mind.' said Mr.. Jones, you needn't
kiss him to-day"
The only article of clothing which we export
to Africa are glass beads and brass rings, which
the negroes wear in their noses. These constitute
full dress in Africa. though aristrocratic natives
sometimes rub themselves in fat and then
sprinkle themselves with yellow sand.
A Vermont tramp undertook to eat at farmers
table against the express commands Of the hus-
bandman; but be insisted. and Just as be was
folding up a grldle-cake to put it into his mouth
be received a charge OF buckshot in his abdomen
which saved the cake aud sent his soul to judg
ment.
Pat Casey, Of Gold Hill, charitable saloon
keeper. whose benevolence Induced him to erect
a iodging-house near bis saloon. for old bummers
who had 10 other place to stay at night and 10
money to pay for lodgings, is disgusted because
his guests threatened TO turn him out of the
house the other morning for the reason that the
roads we're SO heavy that the mlkman was I'M
able 10 get through with the cream for the coffee
gratuitously furnished them every morning.
Scene at Sacramento wedding breakfast
Company all seated about the table A pause
in the general conversation. Happy husband, to
his wile's seven yeor old sister at the other end
OF the room A." Well, Julie, you have a new
brother now" Julie ;" Yes, but mamma said to
papa the other day that she was afraid that you
would never amount to much, but that it seemed
70 be Sarah's last chance" Intense silence for
a moment, followed by rapid play of knives and
forks.
The Sultan should receive gratulatory letters
from progressive American women. for be has
done deed Tor his harem which smacketh not of
the paynim oppressor. Henceforth the lad es Of
the Seraglio at Stamboul to be furnished
with pictorial newspapers, to delight and instruct
them when weary OF the notes Of the bulbul and
tiresome Of the tinklng and twiring lutte.
By the terms of the Antl-Tammany charter,
the Police Board of New York city is to be tax
out Of politics and made entirely non- partisan
Now, San Francisco, here's your opportunity.
Say that no member Of the police force shall be
appointed on political consideration. and that
none shall be discharged save for cause.
The danger of fellow who doesn't wear sus-
Penders going three jumps when be has fed on
spare RIBS and fatty bread two OF three weeks
was exemplifed the other day, when young
man walked out and proposed TO jump for some
young ladies', which he said would surprise them.
The FIRST lnnge he shot out of bis pants and did
what he said he'd do. They were so surprised
that they retired 10 great disorder.
Il wouldn't be such Christian as you are,
John, said his wife, as she stood in the door.
way, dressed for church you could go with me
very well if you wanted to-" How can p he
bali sobbed There's the wood to be split, and
the coal TO be shoveed over to the other side Of the
cellar, and dishes washed for dinner yet"
All, didn't think Of that" she murmured
thOughtfully and giving her new cloak fresh
hitch aft, sailed out alone.
Much excitement was Occasioued on the streets
Monday by the appearance of singular vehicle.
Ii consisted OF two wheels, surmounted by dry
goods box. to which were attached sorrel mare,
AID switch-iai horse. driven by backwoods-
man in an army overcoat. The vehicle was fol-
lowed by cross-eyed dog with stub-tail, aud
was called in the nomenclature OF its driver,
"go-devil." Further inquiry into its history was
discouraged by the vigorous flourish of a black
snake whip, and dangerous CLEAN out of very
bright pair Of eyes.-lSaRtd Rosa Democrat.
Mr.. Moody. who. with excellent intentions,
sometimes makes uuguarded assertions, has got
into trouble with the Israeiites. In late dis
course he stated that A thousand Jews met not
long ego in Paris, when one of the orators said