The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1876-04-20
Miscellaneous Notes. !.

. The look q man gives his wife when
he suddenly awakes IN the morning
and finds her going through his vest
pockets is not studied expression,
but it is excellent il. its way .=::s.
w hen Cath rine, the wife Of Martin
Luther, was sobbing with inconsolable
grief over the body Of their daughter,
the great preacher said, Don't take
on SO, wife; remember this is; q very
hard world for girls. - 7@ u *. : 5zz.
~ A bright little girl having been de-
sired to write a sentence introducing
the word ''':carri0n," presented the fcl-
lowing to her teacher: Bad children
often carrion in church when they
ought to be quiet :5z': %$*s:s7 y II
There is village in Now Hampshire
which has produced twenty.six editors,
and it was in allusion to this. circum-
stance that a piOus old decon there re-
marked !: eyes, there was twenty-six
on 'em, but as they've all left town, l
reckon the Lord won't lay it up agin
u.s." -, 80 49,, ><f*stt.-5*f. &stE l.. -}'9s~:
els this the Doctors office:!" inquir-
ed man who popped his head inside
the sanctum door. ssNo, sir-the next
flight of STAIRS ''Well, I am too tired
to 60 any further said he sadly; but
If you see the doctor any time this
morning, wish you would tell him
that my step-mother is dying and we d
like to have him call if he gets time. :"
elbow could you have the conscience
to give forty thousand pounds in that
! seduction case - was the question
put to the foreman of the Jury who
tried the celebrated Bandon issue,
where the defendant was an English
peer. ''Begorra it was a fine thing to
bring all that money into Ireland!'
was the answer. And against such pa.
triotic devotion what is to be said
The whole story Of human life is
compressed in this dainty little poem
by Jean Ingelow: 's'
Sweet is childhood over.
| Kiss and; part.
| Sweet is youth but youths a rover
| Sos my heart.
Sweet is rest; but by oil showing
| Toll is nigh.
We mast 20. Al; Alas the going.
''Have you any dog gloves !"r asked
an exquisite in long Overcoat, accom-.
panied by small black-and- tan terrier;
of a salesman the other day. ''None
small enough for that one" replied the
salesman, referring to the terrier
"Oh, no of course not; I want them
for myself can! beg your pardon
sir; was looking at the wrong one, >
as he handed down box of the desir
ed articles.
A certain parsOn, who was always :
school-teacher, handed a problem tx
his class in mathematics. The first DO,
took it, looked at it for a while, an(
said, 81 pass" Second boy took it
and said, 81 turn it down. The thirt
boy stared at it awhile, and drawlet
out, 81 can't make it, livery good
boys" said the parson, ''we will pro
coed to cut for new deal;;''' and tn
switch danced like lightning over tn
shoulders of those depraved young
mathematicians.
A boy, in fact a good sized youth
was a passenger on train between
Waterbury and Naugatuck. When ap
preached by the conductor for hi
ticket he handed up half-fare ticket
elbow old are you!" queried the con
ducter. II shall be just twelve year
old at precisely clock this evening, ):
answered the boy. ':Well, you can re
turn tonight for half fare, as the even
ing train is due at Waterbury at $3.50,
said the gentlemanly conductor as h
passed on.