davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
The Cheek of the Heather Chinee,

One of the city guardians of Laramie
was standing on the corner of the street,
when wild looking Chinaman came
rushing up, seizing him by the arm,
and said:
You ketch um saw p
"Hey2"
"You no savey; you ketch-um saw ee,
slaw-buck ZEE. You savey 9'
The officer was bewildered, and think
ing some terrible crime had been COM
mitted, endeavored to get the Celestial
to explain. John repeated over every
word of English that he had ever learn
ed, yet still he could not mako himself
understood. Finally, he seized the Off
Ger by the arm and saying, "come
long" started off at a rapid pace, close
ly followed by the eager official They
went first to a washhouse, into which
the Chinaman looked, and then, with q
shake of the head, struck out again.
"Skipped out, has he ?" asked the
officer, as he pounded along, using
endeavor to keep up with the cat-footed
Mongolian.
"Come along, we ketch um bime-b by"
On they went at rattling pace until
a house near the rolling mill was reach
ed, into which John looked, and shak-
ing his hand, dashed off on the back
track.
"Where now r.
"Come long," replied John, and on
they went.
They travelled all over the town and at
last reached a shanty near the round
house. The officer was by this time
nearly dead with fatigue and was cover
ed with perspiration. Going up to the
door John said:
"Now we ketch-um."
IT, mixing there might be desperate
crew inside the officer drew his revolver
and they entered the door. A small man
was sitting on the floor, and in him the
officer recognized "Jim," an English
Chinaman.
"What's the row, Jim z" he asked.
"He hunt me 30 l interpret what he
say"
"Well, what is it2"
The two jabbered minute and Jim
said:
"He want ZEE borrow saw-buck, an
somebody tell-ee you lend um one."
"Saw-buck be hanged! Here I've
walked no less than ten miles after that
rice mashin' heather. thinking mur-
der had been committed, or something
terrible had been done. You tell him
that if he ever speaks to me again I'll
mash him into the ground !" and he re-
turned to his beat.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16

since bavo reflected upon the matter,
my moral sense has once more asserted
itself, and is outraged. 1 state the mat.
ter rs fairly as I can. I have been to
picnics myself, as married man, and
made myself agreeable to the ladies'.
Well. in Persia this might have cost me
my life, or the expense Of n second estab-
lishment. SO far there is every excuse
for Simpson. But, on the other hand,
the astounding factremains that there are
four Mrs. Simpsons at Bussora. When
ever 1 look at his quiet, businesslike
face, or hear him talking to my wife and
the girls about Persian scenery, this
revelation of his strikes me anew with
wonder. Of course 1 have not told
them about his domestic relations it
would be too great shock to their re-
spective systems /; yet the possession of
such secret all to myself is too hard to
bear. and have, therefore, laid it be-
fore the public. The whole thing re.
solves itself into q rule-of-three sum.
If even a quiet, respectable fellow like
Simpson, residing at Bussora, has four
wives, how many wives-well, L don't
mean exactly that but how much
queerer things must people do who are
not so quiet and respectable as Simpson,
and who live still further OFF,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
Rather Mixed Up,

The Golden Rule copies story from
the Boston Traveller to the effect that
Rev. Mr.. Murray, its editor, bore upon
his stalwart shoulder to his Office huge
branch of the old elm, and complains
that since the appearance of the story he
has been terribly beset by relic fiends
for pieces of the wood whereupon the
business manager of the paper states,
:" that MIR. Murray wishes to use all the
wood himself /; second, that Mr.. Muir
ray has given it all away and, third,
that Mr.. Murray never got piece of
the old elm, that he was out of town
that night, that tho old elm is still stand
ing, and that the Golden Rule office is
burned to the ground, so that there is
no use in coming around besides he
had had it sawed into wooden mallets,
with which he will brain every man,
woman or child who attempts to ascend
the office stairs for any purpose other
than subscribing for the paper, SO help
him George Washington.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
Items OF Interest.

The butchers bill of single hotel IN
New York averages 80, 50G week in the
winter season, and about 81 900 in the
summer.
The estimated area of Cuba is "a, 800
square miles with its dependencies,
47,278. The area of New York State is
$1,000 square miles. ..
A man in Santa Clara, California, two
years ago bought So, 900 worth of hogs.
He has since sold $12, 900 worth and has
$8, 900 worth on hand.
Seeds of the mahogany tree sown
three or four years ago on the island of
Mauritius have already produced trees
twenty feet high and from three to six
inches through the trunk.
Papa Concluding the fascinating
tale): "And he was turned into a
beautiful prince and married Beauty"
Minnie (after pause): Pa, we're you
beast before you married mammal"
A three-year-old child sprung from the
arms of its mother standing at an open
window of house in Providence, the
other day, and fell twenty-six feet, but
struck on baby carriage standing be-
low the window, and was not seriously
hurt.
Scene at church after the clergymans
peroration Julia to Xantippe-" What
a beautiful closet" Xantippe (who has
been spitefully eyeing well dressed
lady before herr" Beautiful clothes
Yes; but 1 know she didu't get 'em i'll a
beautiful way"
A high Russian officer says that all
Chinese soldiers, officers, as well as pri-
Yates, are morally degraded; all, with
out exception, are addicted to the use of
opium !; and on account of their steal
ing propensities they are terror to
their own countrymen.
DIR. Hayford, of Laramie, who drew
up the woman suffrage law for the
Wyoming Legislature, says there are not
twenty-five people in the Territory
who would now vote for its repeal.
Fights at the polls, street brawls and
barroom rows never occur.
Bank catechism-" Papa, what's q
safe 2" GA safe, my child. is charitable
institution in which benevolent old peo-
pie and orphans lay up their money for
hotel bills at Saratoga "What's
CaSulorf cdSLler, my culllt, Is u
signboard established by amiable bank
directors to point out the way into the
safe."
One morning during the recent cold
weather Miss Lily refused to get up and
be washed. Her aunt, who follows the
modern mode of dealing with children,
and considers that they should always
be argued with, but never made to do as
they are bid, in vain exhausted her elo-
quence in describing the excellencies of
purifcation, for the infant logician fair.
ly confuted her by this ingenious anti
thesis "Aunt Mary, you do as you
like, and let me do as 1 like. You like
to be clean and cold, and like to be
warm and dirty"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
Something about Eyergreens.

Evergreens, says the Agricult,wist,
are very useful for their timber, their
cheerfulness in winter, and especially
for the fact that as wind breaks they are
as effective in winter as in summer.
They are less planted than they would
be Were there not a general idea that
they are difficult to manage. For gen
eral utility we place first the white pine,
a native which is always beautiful, grows
with fair rapidity, aud its wood is more
generally useful than that of any other
tree; the supply is annually diminish
ing, while the price is increasing. The
next most desirable species of pine for
the planter is the Scotch pine. This
makes itself quite at home in this coun-
try, and adapts itself to great variety
of soil. Its wood is about as valuable
as that OF the white. Norway spruce is
the most generally planted evergreen in
this country. 1t is one of the best for
screens, as it is hardy and suited to near
ly all situations; its wood in Europe oc-
cupies the same place that white pine
does in this country. Arbor-vitse is Il
native species, also valued for screens;
it is more dense than the Norway spruce,
and is of rather slower growth. The
wood, incorrectly called white cedar, is
durable. Red cedar was at one time
highly praised as desirable evergreen,
but its popularity has waned, and it is
at present justly regarded as inferior to
those We have named.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
In the Depths.

Thore is solemn graveyard whore mortals
never tread,
Where stand no marble monuments to mark the
nsmeless dead.
Each SLEEPER takes his place alone, unseen Of
M rial eycs,
And nc msn knows bis resting place, nor guess-
eth where ho lies.
No sal array of molrners conveys them to
their rest;
No wealth OF earthly bios 'oms is laid upon
their breast.
But never yet was graveyard 80 quiet and
serene,
No ohnrchyard half 30 peaceful, no hillside
half 80 greon;
No noise disturbs the sleepers, no light, nor
careless tread,
No thoughtle.s laugh nor mocking word can
reach these quiet dead.
Deep down where endiefs silence rcigns the
weary pilgrims rest
The wanderers whom old ocean has gathered
to her breast.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
The Origin of the Investigation.

The following is given by Washing
ton letter as the origin of the Belknap
investigation: While in search for
house for his family in December, B.
b. Lewis, of Alabama, was referred to
g. o. Armes, a real estate agent. Dur
ing their search for a house Mr.. Armes
in conversation stated to Mr.. Lewis that
he had formerly belonged to the army,
but was dismissed through the enmity
of Belknap; that if he had the assistance
of member of Congress he could in
sixty days develop facts that would
force Belknap to resign. Mr.. Lewis
rendered his assistance, and they subse-
quently had several interviews. Mr..
Lewis, being impressed, sought the ad.
vice of Mr.. Randall, who advised that
the facts be brought before Mr.. Clymer,
chairman of the committee on expendi-
lures in the war department. Mr.. Lewis
and Armes saw Mr.. Olymer, and the
latter gave list of witnesses, includ-
ing Marsh. Afterwards Mr.. Clymer
thought Armes was acting in bad faith,
as the secretary said Armes had pro
posed, If he were restored to the army
and certain other conditions complied
with, he would drop the matter. Mr..
Lewis said if Armes were seeking only
to levy blackmail of course they could
have nothing to do with it, but advised,
as Armes had furnished the names OF
witnesses, that they be called and exam.
ined, which was done.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
A" Three Fingers.o

"John," called little Mrs. Pearson
after her husband as be left home in the
morning, "stop at French's and bring
me three fingers of that new moyepage
lace and spool of white silk"
John braced himself up and repeated
the message " Three-fngers --of mil
Homage silk and spool of white lace, "
then he saw car coming and held ND
three fingers that he might not forget
the message while he hailed the driver.
AS he took his seat he murmured alb
sently "Three fingers of-morning
papers, boy-millionage," and he sub.
sided into the paper, while he kept his
fingers extended in the air. When the
conductor came around John stared at
him and repeated : Three fingers
etc, but the conductor took him by the
collar and told him to pay his fare. At
the office the clerk asked him question
about the days business, but the only
answer he could get was "Thrce
fingers of invoices )" when he went to
lunch, he rushed into the first restau-
rant, aud, being past speech, could
only hold up three fingers, which the
obliging young man behind the counter
at once proceeded to pour out. When
Johns wife saw him next he was hatlesa
and coatless, sitting with vacant ex-
preston of eountenance, behind the
bars of cell in the station, and re-
porter had just commenced to write /:
" Murderer arrested! Talks of nothing
else than the three fingers of his victim !!
Horrible disclosures expected" The
little woman paid Johns fine, and took
him home, where he slept stupidity till
the next day, when he declared his coffee
must have been drugged.
Mrs. John says it's just what you
might expect of mamie never has
sense enough to carry dry goods mes
sage without losing his balance
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
Fashion Notes.

Bows, sashes and loops are placed
on appropriate parts of the dress ad
Hbitum.
"Pull back" skirts and bustles a la
Hottentot, are de rigeur in the world OF
fashion.
French chemises are of the sack
shape, with sleeves cut with the body of
the garment.
Partisan lingerie rivals in cheapness
the productions of American garments
for underwear.
Percale, cambria, calico and lawn will
take the place of linen and batiste for
suits next summer.
Black silk sacks will be worn for street
wraps, cut very long and of similar
shape to those now in vogue.
The new calicoes and cambrics for
spring wear have plain grounds show
ing stripes, checks, plaids, and dashes
of color.
For millinery purposes there are
basket woven, granite woven, and serge
silks in cream and all other fashionable
colors.
The latest thing in thimbles is cap
piece of agate, onyx, or crystal inserted
in the top of the usual rim of silver or
gold.
White and cream colored cashmere
dolmans are shown for evening wraps,
covered with elaborate designs III tinsel
braids.
One deep, long pocket, either plated
or gathered, appears ON the left side
of nearly every imported costume this
spring.
Gros grain ribbons will be used in
trimming bonnets, but serge and basket
woven ones are also shown for that pur-
pose.
Box plated rutfies and founces are
preferred by modistes for stylish suits in
course of preparation for Easter Sunday
and after Lent.
Basques with Continental waistcoats,
worn over deep, round overskirts, and
long princess polonaises, are both ia
yorite styles for making up calico
dresses.
Fastidious ladies choose French per-
Gale, corresponding in weight with
Lonsdale cambria and French cambria,
in preference to any other material for
their lingerie.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16

The NEwsPAPER.-A newspaper is a
window through which men look out
on all that Is going on in the world !;
without newspaper, man is shut in a
small room, aad knows little or nothing
OF what is happening outside of himself.
In our day, the newspapers keep pace
with history and record it. A news
paper will keep sensible man in SYM
pathy with the world s current history.
/ 1t is an enfolding encyclopedia, an un-
bound book forever issuing and never
finished.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16

TOTAL. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 45(
He was strong and robust, stout and
lazy, and he took matters very coolly.
&c L believe WAS drunk" he replied
to the charge.
"And you are also vagrant," OBJ
served the court.
Isn't there any difference between @
tourist and vagrant p queried Bos.
bee. "I'm a traveller, sir; I have
visited the principal cities of Europe
and am now making tour of America.
l drink whisky by the advice of one
of tue most eminent physicians OF
Europe"
"Umph !" remarked the court
"You have very beautiful city
here" Continued the tourist. "It re-
minds me very forcibly of the island
of st. Helena. I reached here yester-
day, and will probably remain week. or
two"
81 shouldn't be surprised if you re-
mained here three MONTHS" said his
honor. "I'll send man to show you
one of our largest city and State institu-
tions, and think you'll stop there till
spring comes"
tDo. you hint at imprisonment ?"
asked the tourist
"That's just what I'm limiting at.
"Isn'tthis rather arbitrary2 ?" inquired
the stranger. 81 got drunk in Palestine,
and no one said anything. 1 got drunk
in Constantinople, and was invited to
deliver lecture. 1 got drunk in Edin-
burgh, and was invited to game sup
per. 1t hardly seems possible that you
will interrupt my tour around the world
merely for the sake of filling up your
prisons %
You'll realize it when you get up
there, Mr.. Bosbee. All the travelling
you'll do for the next three months to
come won't raise any blisters."
"Am 1 sent up on account of my
looks 2" asked the prisoner.
His honor motioned him into the cor
ridor.
Because, if my looks havessent me
to prison what-what!"-
He might have got six months if
Bijah hadn't hurried him away so fast
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16

Sir George Elliott, who purchased the
Egyptian railroadfor English capitalists.
was once a pit boy in the mines. He is
now the largest coal proprietor in the
world, and member of Parliament.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
ROSbee. the Tourist.

They called him John Bosbee. He
looked like one of the family, and
probably gave his name to the Detroit
Free Press police court correctly. Care
full judges of secondhand clothing esti-
mated his makeup as follows:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16
Love-.

Love.
Kind hearts are the gardens,
Kind thoughts are the roots,
Kind words are the blossoms,
Kind deeds are the fruits.
Love is the sunshine
That warns into life
For only.in darkness
Grow hatred and strife.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-03-16

The butchers bill of single hotel IN
New York averages $2, SOC week in the
winter season, and about 81, 200 in the
summer.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1876-01-21

Departed This life on the 7lh Of December,
1875, in the Goth year of his age, Mr. GEO,
W. CASHELL
Our duty is not TO write an eulogy on one
of earlhs titled ones 10 whom The world has
brought load of weary hours, for our sub
lect is found among the quiet scenes as pri-
valely--we refer to Mr. Geo W. Cashell, n
citizen OF this county. He was a gentleman
of warm heart and generous impulse, kind as
Il neighbor and true as friend. Although
nearly three score and ten, he was vet active
in manhood, but like the oak which has win
tered many blast at last yielded to the strom,
as this man of strength at last fell under the
blast of disease. Although his remains sleep
quietly in the grave, his memory will be cher
ished by his friends for many years. HIS com
panon has cause 10 mourn the loss of n de-
voted husband, and his children nm affeciionate
father. His funeral was attended by n very
large .concourse of friends, who followed his
remains TO the grave.
DIED. near Beallsville, January 3, 1876
MAGGIE f., daughter of William II. and
Maria r. Cooley, aged three years and eleven
months.
Weep not for little Maggie,
Her gentle spirits fed
She sweetlv sleeps with Jesus,
Among the silent dead.
Shed not tear Of sorrow
Around her silent tomb
Think whata lovely flower
We have in Heaven to bloom.
God lent her for season,
Then beckoned her away
Farewell, my earthly parents,
can no longer stay
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1876-01-21
Pigeon Shooting Match,
GAITHgRsBuRG. Jan. ]

GATHERsBuRG, Jan. IL, &c.
Mr. Editor As advertised in your col
umns the pigeon shooting match came off on
Saturday, January Stu. The day being SO
pleasant and pigeons so plentiful the shooters,
TO the number OF twenty, came in from all
points. The spring trap was furnished by f
A. Thompson Zone of his own make) and
worked like charm. 1t still remains in the
ring and pateat has been applied for.
Jamestown was represented by james Otfutt.
Charles Dufef and Edgar TsehtIely Rock
lille by Edward Bailey, Henry Letter. Thos
Suter and John Howse; Gaithersburg by &.
W Thompson, Wash. Day, II. G. Thompson,
john A. Burriss, F. A. Thompson, w Beck
with, G. Meem, John Thompson, Watson
Belt, Thos. Easton, Albert Thompson, Sam
Gloyd and T. Thompson.
Every shooter was furnished with FIVE
birds from u rise of fiftyseven feet and to
count WAS TO fall within the limits Of eighty
yards. The shooters all seemed in good
spirits and at the hour Of eleven o clock were
on the grounds; each and all stood awaiting
his name called, which was done as soon as
the birds could be taken from the box and set
in the trap. The following is the score:
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1876-01-21
LOCAL AFFAIRS

WAR CLAIMS ALLowED,-Among the claims
allowed recently by the accounting officer OF
the Treasury are the following TO citizens Of
OF this county W. II. Bowman, S205 Eliza
Fisher, 81 BIO; Thos. II. Harrington, $685.
John IIeeer, SPAS S X. Hunter, 81, 1871;
Leonidas Jones, 81 67o; Richard w Jones,
SlOO; Anar i. Robertson, S372: Chas. W.
Slicer, 81, 242. The money to pay these al
lowances has yet TO be appropriated by Con-
gress, and the secretary has transmitted the
list to the committee on war claims, who VIII
report bill for that purpose. The claims al
lowed for the year 1874 on the same acconnt
are sul unpaid, and will have TO he included
in the bill to pay The claims allowed for the
year 1875. The bill passed the House last
session, but was lost in the Senate for want
of time.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1876-01-21
w1LLETT &LIBBEY,s ApvERTIsEMEN
MI MARRIAGES.

MARRIED, on Thursday, the 18Th inst, AT
Srfing Hill, at the residence of the bride 5
father, bv the Rev DR.. Mason, CHAS W.
HUGUELY, of Washington, d. c., TO
ACHSAH A., eldest daughler of Samuel
Cashell, of this county.
MARRIED, on January llth, at 81. Mary's
church GAINESVILLE, Md, h. Rev. Father
Birch. CHARLES T. KINGSBURY, to Miss
MARY REID, both of this county.
Accompanied with The notice OF the above
marriage was large quantity Of wedding
cake for which the groom and the fair bride
will accept our heartfelt thanks, and verify do
we wish that the path of matrimonial life
upon which they have started to travel. lie
strewn with the most fragrant flowers, never
to be inIermixed with an inodorous one to
cause divergence from happiness and pros
perity
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1876-01-21
SpeCial Notice.

GzB- D. F. OWENS, Druggist and dealer in
Pure Drugs. Fine Chemicals, Standard Phar-
maceutical Preparations, and reliable Patent
Medicines of all kinds. Paints, Oils, Glass,
Varnishes, Brushes, Supporters, Trusses,
Lung Projectors, Shoulder Braces SponSes,
Stationery, Blank Books, Dyes, Violin Strings,
Lamps Fine Toilet Soaps, Tooth and Hair
Brushes, Combs, Toilet Articles, Spectacles,
Cooking Extracts, Chamois Skins, Tobacco
Cigars, Snuff and every article found in a first
class Drug Store
1ss,- Also a fall line of Pure Spices Ladies
are requested to give them trial
Gss- Also a full line of the best brands Of
Chewing and Smoking Tobaccos, Cigars,
Snuff &c.
va Also a full line Of Blank Books, Pa
per, Envelopes, Inks, States, Pencils, Pens
&c, &c.
.as- Prescriptions and family recipes care
fully compounded. Prices MODERATE. Terms
CASH.
va. Orders promptly filed
dec 30--ifn Rock vlle, Md.
MS- AN ACCIDENT, serious and
painful, often happens when medical aid is
not at hand. Edwards & Flutchisor' s STIM-
ULATING LTNIMENT is a sure cure for
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Spinal Affections.
Chilblains, Sprains, Stiff Joints, Bruises.
Enlarged Swe!lngs Of all sorts. Sore Throat,
Toothaehe, 6tings aud Bites of Insects; and
Il better remedy cannot he found for ininries
in ANIIALS-Strains, Lamentss, Saddle or
VIM gals, &c.
CERTIFICATES from some Of the best cit
liens Of the country furnished on agPica-
ton. Prepared and sold by
EDWARDS & HUTCHINSON,
Druggists, Leesburg, Va.
5css> For sale by Candy, GiIpn & Co, Bal
limorc. Md apr BOY