The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-11-18
Mr.. Dinkie's Revenge.
nISA GTROITS nINNnR

NHlulhily, my utHT, II DOUN bPt' y
with many singular people in the course
of Keeping hOarlers. think the queer
est folks that ever were, have come and
boarded with me since Mr.. j 1hnsOn left
me with three little children, to- earn
my living by the most ungrateful task
that ever was put upon a wOman's
shoulders ; for there are pPupln that
think you can never do enough for 'pm,
aad people that haven't atty cOnsidrra-
ton for your feelings, and If a turkey
happens TO be tough, ask if it was ever
known for certain what became Of the
pair that went into Noah S ark, and the
like Of that, you know 4; and there are
people that have whimsies, and people
that want raw meat or scOrched cindprs,
and people that can't bear anything
fried, and people that won't touch
pork, and people that TAKE airs aud
don't pay, and people that are so far
from what they pretend to be that you
have to mention to thew that their
rooms are wanted, ant all sorts of peo.
pie who do all sorts Of queer things.
One of the queereSt things | ever
knew to be done by any boarder was
done, | must say, by Mr.. Dinkie
lie came to board with me about five
years ago, just at Christmas time. He
was bachelor, about so years old,
should judge, and his face was smooth
shaved, and he wore mahogany color.
Ell whig, and he was rather particular
in dress, He'd Just met with a diSap
pOintnent-not in love. mind you, but
in money.
He had made himself slave to rich
old uncle for twenty years, expecting
to be his heir put up with all sorts of
treatment ; been culfcd and scold d
and sneerpd at morning, noon and
night; never said a woid but iu,t
went on grinning and rubbing his hands
speaking about his "dear urcle," until
the old man died, when he left him
only hundred year for his life AT
ter that he came to board with me.
There was boarding with me at the
same time fl maiden lady named Swift
Hes. She was about as old as Mr. Din
kie, and slie was very rich. She wore
diamonds in her ears so big and shiny
that | wondered the thieves let her
come hohe alive with 'em on. And
oll' lihu blit Ndlut hlUu VI UldlllU1luS OH
her fingers. She had three pets, q dog
with curly wool, and q kitten all white
except a black nose, and green and
red parrot. Day times she had them in
her room, but she hired an extra room
for them, and they slept in that, and it
was comical to see them, Poll in her
cage, and the dog and the kitten in a
sort of basket cradle, with refreshments
set in 'em, in case they should be hun
CRY in the night.
Everybody isn't so careful of children.
She had white, quilted covers for the
two animals. 1t was peculiar, and she
was curious in good many things.
She wasn't very handsome, but she
was of very good family and though
she wanted extras, she ptid for 'em. |
remember asking her once why she
hadn't married, and she said she al WAYS
felt that the male sex was beneath her.
and that she couldn't promise to obey
any of 'em. She asked me if | did mt
feel to dispise 'em myself and | said
some of 'em | did, and some again |
didn't.
She had written lecture think, for
the purpose of putting them down, and
she was going to deliver it in my paror
one night only says to her, says |,
"Miss Swf1les," says |, I'm only
poor widow, depending on my bOarders
for a living, and as most of 'em are of
the male sex it might give 'em offense
to tell 'em all them dreadful things
about tn fmselvrs, and how you deSpis.
ed 'em so, Miss Swiilles." So she gave
up the idea, ard was thankful.
Well after Mr.. Dinkie came, | no.
ticed Miss Swiflies and he used to argue
together a good deal. Sometimes, too,
he used to soc her to church and to
lectures. | had my eyes about me, and
! noticed she used to dress herself up
very smart indeed after he came.
Then he came and asked me how
much | reckoncd she had a year. And
she asked what | calculated he owned.
] told him that I'd heard she had ten
thousand pounds, and | told her what
he had and how he got it / couldn't
tell what she Thought, but | made up
my mind there'd be a match between
'em, for I've always noticed the more
lady talks against the gentlemen, the
more apt she is to have the first one
that makes her an offer. Yes, I'd
made up my mind that way, when. one
day, was sitting on the porch outside
the back window, stoning cherres-for
if the girl does it she puts more in her
mouth than she does in the pan-when
| heard Miss Switfles come into the par
lor, and about three minutes after Mr..
Diukip bp came in
ia like to remark, lust here, that far
from being listening, I'm above it but |
| wasn't called upon to away, ami | |
help hearing, and this is what !.
did hear
"Miss Swflles," said Mr.. Dinkle,
''Pm reioiced to find you alone"
"Ah |" said Miss Swiffles.
81 have long wished tor such an OPP
pOrtunity."
"Indeed," said Miss Swlffies.
"You can guess why ?" asked Mr..
Dinke,
"So, sir, 1 can't" answered Miss
Swiftles.
SIS this the coquetry of your sex ?"
asked Mr.. Dnkie. "HaYe you not |
seen that | adore you ?"
"No," said Miss Swiffles.