The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-02-10
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

! A PATENT electric clothes-line has
been invented. Upon an attempt to re-
move the clothes an alarm is sounded,
four dogs set loose, shotgun IS fired,
and the thief drops. A man may also
hang himself by that line and become q
first-elass meteor, all in the space OF five
minutes.
A MAN popped into the post-Office
and wanted to know how much mer-
chandise he could send in one parcel.
-Four pounds, )" was the reply. Then
he blandly said he thought he would
send out to Arizona four pounds of those
red toy balloons, inflated; but he had
difficulty in getting out of the door in
time to dodge mailbag.
THE other day minister offered pray
er at the laying of a cornerstone. A
brisk Young reporter hustled up and
said: al wish you would give me the
manuscript of that prayer" 81 never
write out my prayers, " said the preach
er. "Well," said the reporter, " /
couldn't hear word you said" g |
wasn't praying to you," quickly resond-
ed the parson.
"SusAN LooMIs," said her father to
her one morning after her young man
had been to see her, "why do You al
ways turn down the gas when Henry
comes hereP' "But, pa, dear, re-
piled his dutiful daughter, "you are al
ways complaining that times are so hard
and your gas bills are so heavy, and
wanted to be as little of burden TO you
as possible. .''-Chicago Tribune.
TWENTY years ago the Cowlitz tribe
of Indians in Washington Territory
numbered about thousand persons;
now it numbers thirty-three.
They died not of hunger, nor of lingering decay,
But Cincinnati whisky hath swept them away
Kissare, a chief of the tribe, scorned the
villainous stuff, using the pure Ken
lucky article exclusively, and died the
other day at the age of one hundred
years -COUrier-,JOtlrHdL.
A APPLIED to B tor loan of 800.
B replied: ''My dear A, nothing would
please me better than to oblige you,
and will do it. / haven't 800 by me,
but make note and III indOrse it, and
YOU can get the money from the bank"
Grateful A proceeded at once to write
the note. "Stay," said b, "make 1t
800; 1 want 500 myself" \ did so,
b indorsed the paper, the bank dis
counted it, and the money was divided.
When the note was due B was in Cali
fornia and A had to meet the payment.
What he is unable to cipher out is
whether he borrowed 800 of b or b
borrowed 800 of him.
AT an early hour yesterday morning
a policeman halted a cOlOred man who
was Juggling q large basket up Ohio
Street and demanded to know where he
got it. Dat basket haz bin in my
family six years." replied the cOlOred
man. 'Dat ar basket was born down
in Varginy, removed to dis town when
Young, and hez bin behaving himself in
de fust-ratest kind ever since" ''I
didn't know but you picked it up in
some yard,n observed the officer. 81
see de pint OBJ dat remark very clearly,
but amt dar. If l was on de pick,
and if | had picked dis yer basket up,
and if you had picked me and de bas-
ket up dis morning, dar would have
been animal life in de basket" "Chick-
ens?" queried the officer. 81 believe
dat chickens and clothes-lines and buck
saws come under de head of animal
life," gravely replied the colOred man,
and he moved on.-DetrOh Free Press.