The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1876-11-02

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Thou wear lions hIdel Doff II for shame and
Hang calfsskin round those recrean limbs.
| .r l I,5u.t...a4. HAKgsPEARE
"Crazy folks are always madP .-nI u
| 2 "Hn' a b.n .Hoa1l Il OLD SONG b.
AnAnexpected event, not on the radi-
cal programme took place Monday oflast
week ~ the ygreaI surprise Of the lead.
ers in the radical camp, ma .mr. y. .a,,
Fire eating tilthsqgirting mudhinging
Ed" had been stqdiously kept in the
back k.ground during the asst campaign,
Some ofthe leaders, still smarting Under
the lessons of 1875 had even suggested
the propriety of raising a subscription to
send him to Texas, or as one expressed
with more Significance than elegance 10
HILL or Texas he didn't care which,
wholly obliyious of the fact that ed"
mighhelaim The privilege Of choosing be.
tween thetwo, .iy, In ,,,,'.,'.,
But miIder counsels prevailed and, Ed
was allowed occasionally, 70 graze away
off in the pack ground in obscure and
worn out republican pastures. ....,.
q Bounding Ed was not TO be suppressed
lhusly. He mad been training and dieting
for many long months He had made a
pious pilgrimage all the way to Washing,
Ton and at the feet ofthe sanity Chand'
Ter the, great patriot. christian ana sage
meekly sal for daySad divoted pupil gIeain-
inga rich haruest Of accumulated wisdom
Nor did he forget when returning With
Il Saratoga packed with receipts and in
struclions, to make u flying visit to the
American Alliance receiving there the
cap sheaf of political wisdom.
The weary months thai now ensued
beggar description. Bloody shirt stepped
in negro gore and sweat were chawed
down by the Score for preliminary diet
Then came the regular courses rebel
hearts and Democrat livers, scorpion
stings and adder fangs skins of toad and
spideis bile, hyena tongue and lion lung,
ASS brain and Pores toes, al exquisltely
a la mode and recnerch. 80
And oh the waste of midnight oil over
Blains and IngersoPs speechl And the
weary hours of contortions and grimaces
before that costly mirror ! Suppress Ed?
With that peptup bosom swelling with
righteous wrath, holy hate, pious rage,
Christian malice and Cody fury2 No Sir
Besides Ed, is SOUR oh SO sour. Half
pay amt what it is cracked up to be. Ed
went to the Confederate, congress and
asked it to pass a special law to reinstate
him in the army twas bitter pill, but
then twas halt pay or whOle pay, Strange
to say the "cOntedrates" passed the bill );
twas almost like heaping GOALS of fire on
his head, but they did it. ~, s.....
Now Ed wasn't slow in getting mag
nifcent sword uniform, boots, spurs,
gloves and stunning hat and as he
looked upon the eshining blade, he already
saw it crimson with the blood of Wade
Hampton In his lofter moods he saw
himself next winter driving those con-
federates out of Congress and counting in
Hayes Cromwell had done So Buona-
part had done sol Why not he?
But alas for human hopes in few days
Ed was as collapsed as 2 starched shirt
in the washtub. Those "confederates" -
no twas Grant, Grant Vetoed that law
When Ed heard this, his tongue refused
him utterauCe but he managed to gasp
out "Et tn Brutel 1t seemed to him the
very stones cried out Et tu Brute The
winds howled it, the thunder roared it
and the lightning flashed i'll and he
dreamed that night he heard voice say
ing Reea1se Caesar was ambitions
Brutus slew himl
Oh the cheek of that man Grant!
Chandler send Ed message of conso.
latiOn. 1t was brief, simply this: "Net
time keep y0tr big mouth shut dnd lei Blaine
alone, 1t was consoling. And now that
Sword, that uniform that stunning hat
hid away in the dark gloomy closet. Dies
drae.
Now Eds little sour, and when he
sees a faint smile upon some ofhis know
ing republican friends he is crystalized
acid! and he only repeats Et tn BruttW
Ed ought to be Considerate, he ough'n't
to look so savage at McKinly for he was
not Brutus,
McKinly has generous heart he can
forgive, but Ed Is sour, the Hayes man
who bet $1,000 on New York wont be
more sour ON the 9Th of November He
must give vent to his feelings or burst.
So at least he felt last Monday. But the
Hayes club wouldn't invite him; no full
sh et poster, no dimmutive dodger called
the loi together to hear their distingu
ished &c. fellow citizent. But Ed did't
care, he don't stand on ceremony in such
an emergency If be cant perform couD
d'etat on Congress, he can on the Hayes
club 1t was all fixed" Jake Block
SOM was there and the other boys. His
special applause committee was well |
chosen. SO Ed unannounced, unheralded |
without pomp or circumstance stalked |
into the club and casting a withering
glance at some Of his friends who always
smile so queerly upon meeting him, he
sat down. Soon the prearanged unexpect-
ed call for Meyer" sounded through
the Hall ane Ed pranced upon the Stage.
A look of blank dispair clouded the faces
Of tie knowing ones bat they took comfor
in the the ughL the October election had
passed. It's no use to try to portray the
gallant Ed now. Words couldn't do it
The boys however enjoyed it hugely they
always enjoy a menagerie, especially
when the connecting link" performs.
Ed adhered to the Radical rule of " lraw-
ing on his his memory for his witt and
On his imagination for his facts !" and
his imagination isn't weak. He gave the
boys a genuine sample of carpet bag lies
about the South. He told how he in 1870
IN Baton Rouge saw % men killed under
own eyes by a mob led by the mayor of
Baton Rouge. Now its no pleasure to
ear tile mask of the gallant Ed, a but
usliee demands it. The statement was
IN atroclous lie! Ed forgot that his own
sworn testimony given in the investi-
cation of That affair and published in
'epublican paper mailed by his own hand
s still i'll existence in Canton. Ed can't
escape he did not tell the truth and he
inewit ..q a...rsa ... a...o