The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1876-05-14
THE GREAT AMERIcAN WEAKNEss
PLAYING AT SECRET soCIETTEs-MR. BUT
TERwICK's ToMFooLERY.
[ouoted by the N. Y Journal of Con- rec

| Deacon Grimes called the other day upou
Mrs. Bntterw,ck to ask for subscription
to the Missionary Society. The following
conversation took place:
| Your husband is a PRESBYTERIAN. l be
iieve, Mrs. 3utterwick 7" said the deacon.
No." replied Mrs. B., "he belongs to
pretty near every thing else on earth but
the church. That's what I say to him,
that while he ia joining 30 much he'd bet,
ter join something decent, that'l do him
some good. Bat he says he has no time.
He belongs to about forty six secret socie
ties of various kinds. He's the awfullest
man for such things you ever saw, and all
the time running after them. Monday
| night he goes round to the Freemasons,
Tuesday night he associates with the Odd
Fellowe, Wednesday is his Red Man night,
Thursday is his Temperance Lodge, Friday
he goes foolipg along with the Knights Of
~ thias, and all day Sunday he is visiting
| the sick and the widows and orphans of
dead members. If there were sixty days
| in week believe Butterwick would have
some lodge to attend every night.
Mr.. Grimes, that man actually knows
ninety three grips and over two hundred
passwords. And he's awful mysterious
about them. The other day l saw him
swinging his arms about kinder queer at
breakfast, aad presently he stops and says ::
Thunder, forgot where 1 was! Mary
Jane, you saw that7 1t was grand hating
- wal W. II never reveal IL. ara
yun know he'll wake up nights and AJAX me
If l heard him talking in his sleep, and if
1 say yes, he'l look scared to death and
get out his pistol and say he'll b!owzsmy
brains out if l ever repeat one Of those
passwords. And he is all the time practic-
ing grips on me, but lie won't even tell NE,
what any of them are, although he knows
I'm just dying with curiosity. He says he
knows more secrets than any other man in
the whole State, and he says if he was to
tell one of them, those Knights and Patri
otto Sons, and the rest of them, would put
him into a vault and seal him up alive, or
tear him apart with red hot pinchers.
-~He's 30 careless, too. 1 see him giving
the grand hailing sign to the slopman yes
terday, and the slopman asked Bridget if
Mr.. ButtOrwick had the st. Vltus' dance
bad and know when he tried one Of those
grips on the man that came to tune the
piano, the man said if he aqueezed his hand
that hard again he'd give Mr.. Butterwick
bloody nose.
And as for PROFESSIONS. Well, it seems
to ME that when Mr.. Butterwick amt at
lodge he's marching in a procession. AL
way some funeral, or celebration OF some
thing, aud he turns out and goes skipping
around through the streets, dressed in a
cooked hat and sword, and looking fierce
enough TO tTighten ybody out of their
wits. And he told me that sometime 9 he
gets all the grips mixed, aud he'll give a
Mason an Odd Fellows grip, and tell ME
not to be surprised If he Is kidnapped and
made away with before morning. Aud he'll
kiss the children goodbye and make his
last little arrangements SOS every thing III
be straight when he's gone; and then the
children and NELL cry, aud he look solemn,
and go to bed to rest before he meets his
doom. But nothing ever came of it. They
never touched him.
You ought just to see the letters that
come here directed to him. I" E. Butter
WICK" and then whole alphabet of letters
strung after his name. He's q Right Wor-
sbipful Grand Master and Sir Knight,
and an Eminent Past Grand Sachem, and
Noble Grand, and a Grand Chancellor,
and Chief Magnificent Rev. Druid Priest,
and lot more such things as that, enough
to take your breath away and with it all
he's no more stuck up than you are. just
as humble as a lamb. And he says that
he can reel out more stuff that they cay at
ceremonies than'd fill small library and
he has about sixty sbeepskin aprons, aud
all kinds of pictures on them that he wears
when he is on duty.
So be has no time to tend to church,
and no money for the beathen. He spent
his last dollar Saturday paying mp his past
dues to the Knights of Ply thias, and he says
if be can't settle up with the Druids by
Thursday they'll cut him of and chuck
him out. l don't know what happens to a
man when the Druids shut down on him,
but Bntterwick hints that it is not much
better than sudden death. Perhaps you're
a Druidf No9 Well, you call and see
Butterwick and he'll explain it to you,
and meantime those heathens'Il have to
shuttle along the best way they can. May
be, if you was to write them how Butter
wick is fixed they might consider that suf-
fcient. Good morning. Remember me to
Mrs Crimes"
Then the deacon withdrew, and went
around to visit a less mysterious family.
Don't WORRY ABOUT YoURsELF.--To