New-York tribune., 1876-02-05
LONDON FOOT-NOTES.


pRIToNs NEVER WILL BIZ Neutrality-suspicious.
DON HOTELS NOT so GOOD AS AMERICAN
HOUSES - PoRTERs AND CHAMBERMAIDs - no
MODERN 1MPROvEnENTs-COAIs-CoU OF
LONDONERs - CORPORAL CoLDsTREAMs SKIR-
MlslI-PAvEMENIs-AN ES0iIshMANs FAITH
IN THE LONDON TIMEs-HoW MUCH TO PAY.
tTRoM A SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT or TIE TRIBUSEl
LONDON, Jan. 7-1O.-Unfurled, an English
leg. Life he might yield to an imperative demand his
umbrella, never Return with your shield or on IT.
the Spartan mothers adurat0n 10 her at part
ing Similarly may suppose the British matron to
instruct her gallant youth when he forth. umbrella
in hand conquering and to conquer Not only weapon
OF defense. it becomes OF serious oense at tmes
Thus when he places I'm rest did the knight OF old
his lance in the good sOciabe tines when speaI1ng peo
pie accounted no sin and charging down Fan
Mall Piccay twere better to encounter Sir Iaunce-
lots self the great Gawan harness back fitting In
mad career One might get out OF the OF the Roman
chariot, armed vita scythes whereof old historians
speak, suppose for that probably drove straight on
ward, but the Englshman with umbrella under his
arm risks about and akes the eyes all sides OF hm
might well try 10 dodge the fire Of mitrailleuse,
mounted on the back of restive donkey. IL il much
better to stand st and let him spear you through and
bear OF your eyes away the point OF bis weapon
as boys on the merrygoaround do the rings at which
they rdc-and beg your pardon aferward (which he is
sure To dol, and 40 have done with I'll
Or you will revenge yourself In kind as most OF our
countrymen do indeed, equip yourself with an umbrella
and pane p cd in ulster, with chimney pot hat janIned
down your eyes, stream out upon the streets and
fare through fog cometlikea balefu orb shot madly
from its sphere, to alright the world The average
American he quite awkward and disagree BILE ~
any to the born II he sets ont with the deliberate
intention being gcntcel and graceful after the custom o
the count which he happens TO be in You Will notice.
however, that the Engshman unlike our people, never
seems to have a that he is in any way making
himself ridiculous lie will say do the most absurd
things Wi unconscious air Of those who do good by
stealth would blush to hnd 1t fame When he Vslt
America disturbed by the thought that people
may hc laughing at him. lie never seeks out taof al
once aud demands to be dressed ike tho natives II Is
quito enough for him that his costume be that which
Was considered the correct thing In London. III
not like unto that worn in New-York, 1t Is
equally unlike that IN the Capital Of Ashantoe ;
and he falls the reflection that II Is not his fault
that these countries are as yet lees civilized than ha
Own. Here home TOO, he puts on pretty much "ha'
he pleases and does very much he elects TO do lie
mounts an ulster OF gigantic plaid aud striking Color
sweeping the ground pcrhaps, aud with Scotch cap
that lies on his head Ike scoru-cup on kidney
potato, goes calmly out upon parade No one laughs
al him the idea that any could do 80 never occurs
to him even the small boys Of the street do not follow
him and ash where he buys his clothes when he sets
l
shoes which sudden and strange shadows over the
pavement hai-box in hand, alpen stock In the
other his bathtub under his arm umbrella stfapId u"
his back a telescope suug over his shoulder, and e
whole crowned with cotton hat imported from Cal
cuta-th idea that he cuts queer figure crosses
his placid mind. and he jumps into cab with all h
bundles and drives of 10 the station with all his might
thinking OF nothing hut being comfortable and troubled
by the thought that ne may lose some OF his luggage
Satire the while does not perch bis shoulder and
shout in his ear, What n guyi An American, on the
other hand setting out on such Journey would sooner
leave his shit at home than run the risk OF being
laughed at by strangers for taking IL along SO, too the
city merchant when he cha with omnibus guard
or some purveyor Of cats meat over oycrcarge of
penny For the fact that bystduders may think HIM
small" may imagine that hc IL wasting time IN pu suit
OF a penny tnat might better he employed In making a
shilling he not at all prominent In his mind stands
forth only the tuele idea that Briton Is being de
rudcd and until he gets his rhts one OF his sturdy
pegs viii sits. And bystandors al sympathize with
him. for there nothing more sacred IN HIit"hS mh
than "a pcnny-uuless II he siNpenee Aud before he
will Ice wrOngfully kept out OF either lie viii fesolntcy
demand II with extended hand Till the hand drops power
ess by hi- side: he viii bring his wrong before
Lord Chief Baron of the Kingdom.
And rather like this falling back on what one iudi-
ylduay knoa or thinks to be right, regardless o. The
eers Of the erowd-dCaf 10 Jcers they be uttered Tor
that matter For we are apt TO admire quality
/
peculiar sacrcduess- particularly II there be II crowd
standing roundn the cabnaus appeal wien you tender
him the shilling which only he In legally entitled;
Look here now, you wouldn't go To treat man Ike
tile after driving you far such morning. would
yei Blcst II I'd brought ye, II I'd knowed n|
MATmCULATIoS FEES OF AMERICANS.
Let me here coniure my countrymen make them
elye. unhappy over cab-fae the moment trey arrive III
London. those who sit IN horror all the way
from Oh. station who ride positive agony to some hotel
where they'll be swindled out Of pounds lest "IdNch-
tufe the cahby cheat them OF shilling. Instead of
making yoursei unhappy fellow ctzen Of tho only great
and glorious and successful Republic that ever the world
has witnessed gn yourself gracefully 10 the hist
small syind.es which inevitable to strangoness
without murruur the penalty which an al"ise Fro'l-
dence has everywhere put upon pcricnce II naycot
you two English sings, possibly tour-ePul Tue la''i
10 dollar currency, to say nothing OF the premium
upon gold-bcore you learn exactly what 10 pay pn'
take my word for IT, you could not spend ihat doiia
| in n way more conducive to your comfort. II
| Won cannot afford 10 pay a dollar or Two
for mancuiaton INTO tho customs Of ,trange country
with good grace stay home. IN course OF time the
English Parliament will perhaps compel all drivers ol
hansoms and fourW hoeers 10 carry cOnhpcuou'b u's
played within their cabs charts OF the city, showing y
nne. which he who rides may rad, just how far II Is
from the immediate nclghborhood OF buckingham rance
where aud my fellowcOuntrym men invariably f'sie-
o the various abodes of the dukee car-, and naG~e-
to whose houses social visits and frequent
most wholly confined; but until then my "onntryneh you
must rest content for awhile a the mercy OF cabpy
Rear this in mind. however as some slight guidance III
the labyrinth: II the cabnan ouch hiS nat 10 you' yo"
may know that you have given him too much II he say
notbine at rst but put his lip In puclcr for grunbe,
YOU have given him just enough II he at once produce
his card and politely offer to drive you to the nearest
polce maglstrate 1t Is certain that you have given him
| too little.