Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-01-15
A GLOOMY NEGOTIATION
A Man who Wanted to Buy a Coffin.

:. "A Man. who Wanted to Buy a Coffin.
j From the Danbtiry News. =
Mr.. Phipps. of the firm of Phipps &
Hodge, the Danbury undprtakers. was
sitting in his shop, Saturday afternoon,
Illuminating gloOmily upon the dull times,
when the door opened and in came a
stranger. The visitor was slim-faced
man, dressed in tlun-colored suit of
rather tight-ftting clothes. He looked
clear around the room, carefully avoid
ing a glance at the undertaken until the
circuit was completed. Then he looked
curiously at him, and said:
as the boss in ?'
eyes. sir I'm one of them Is there
anything can do for you, sir?'
"Well, that1l depend on how ye kin
deal. / reckon" replied the stranger, in a
tone of subdued shrewdness. Il have
just had to shoulder pretty heavy af-
Fiction. My Old woman went under yes
terday." He paused, and looked inter
negatively over the array OF collins and
caskets.
"Your wife is dead 2" inquired Mr..
Phipps, with professional anxiety.
you've hit it square, boss" replied
the stranger. with an approving nod.
"What time yesterday did the sad
event Occur?'
ADOuI uES ID. n1., as near aS we XIII
reckon"
Pass away peacefully ?"
Lit out without groan,' explained
the bereaved. "She'd been sick off an
on for about two years an better. Not
right down sick all that time, bat then /
don't think she done square days
work i'm two years. It's been great ex-
pense all through, but don't complain,
hOwSumever. L came i'm TO-DAY to see
about fixin' her up" +
''Ah, yes you wish to secure burial
case. We have, as you see, various kinds.
You will want something rather nice, 1
fancy" said Mr.. Phipps.
swell, yes; / want something that
will show considerable grief and sorrer,
but nothing that's going to upset folks,
you know. We are plain people, boss,
an at a time like this-with a great at
Fiction shouldered on us-we don't feel
like riling up the neighbors. If it was
a huskin' bee, now, or a barn raisin' even,
I'd calculate to make their eyes prance
right around i'm their heads. But" and
he sighed heavily, this is boss of an
other color"
ssHow would this do,'' suggested Mr..
Phipps, Indicating plain rosewood.
whats the price of that? You see,
boss, we live over in Baxter Plain. It's
a small place. an there amt much style.
We don't want to go in too heavy, you
know"
"Certainly not; but this is very
neat looking article"
!" Yes" conceded the widower. cit
does seem as If one needn't feel uneasy
with that coffin in the front room, an
the room full of people,"
81 can let you have that for fOrty-fye
dollars.
''Jee-Oh, I couldn't think of paving
that. Forty-five dollars Why, YOU
kin get wagon in'two colors for that
money. You see, boss, this is a plain
country funeral, and not tOrchlight
procession" feelingly explained the
widower. - So ~ 49, ~ 51
ssHow will this do, then ?" next inauir
ed the undertaken, hastily pointing to
another article of common wood, bright
1y stained.
:" How much is that 2"
"Only eighteen dollars"
Eighteen dollars, hey? Well, that's
much more like it. Still, don't it strike
you that eighteen dollars is pretty steep
for these times % A'
!" Not for an article like that, sir. /
can assure you that such coffin could
not have been bought for a cent less
than twenty two dollars one year ago."
1t may be cheap, as you say" rumi-
mated the bereaved, s.yet eighteen dollars
is good big pile of money. | want
something nice, of course, but don't
want to jump in so mighty heavy as to
make people think never bad a funeral
before. You get what I mean?''
"Oh, yes, perfectly. You want an ar
article that will look respectable and in
keeping with your circumstances, but |
YET You do not wish to be too demOnstra-
tive in your Sorrow Ef&f A.4tf
ny lnks. guess you've got it square
On Inc head" said the pleased sufferer.
NOW this is an article that just an
ihsn Inc purpose, in my judgment, and
nsve had Years of experience H
h. yes, you must 'av tucked In a \
'p " en-" said the stranger, in tone