The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-02
TRUTHS AND TRIFLES.

Now Private Dalzell claims that Gen
eral Sherman has declined in favor of
him.
KELLEY is getting ready to shoot off
his motor as Centennial Fourth of
July salute.
! WILL listen to any ones convictions,
but pray keep your doubts to yourself. /
have plenty Of my own.- Goethe.
HAPPINESS doats on her works, and is
prodigal to her favorite. As one drop of
water hath an attraction for another, 30
do felicities run into felicities.
EVERY man is born for heaven; and
he is received in heaven who receives
heaven in himself while in the world,
and he is excluded who does not
,Stcedenborg.
A ROCHESTER, youth gave his fanceea
five hundred dollar diamond ring, after
which the two had falling out, and he
sued for the recovery of the ring. The
jury returned verdict for the defend.
ant.
FIFTY-sIX widows, one hundred and
thirty-five orphans and twenty cripples,
compose the burden that Thomassen has
to carry on his shoulders as he wanders
up and down the shadOwy shores of the
Styx.
THERE'S beauty In the frying pan,
When the fat is jumping high,
There's beauty in dozen eggs
Dropped softly In to fry;
There's beauty in slice OF ham
Westphalia, young and sweet
And when together they are fried,
They're beautiful to eat.
HERE is soliloquy of Partisan ine-
briate, addressed to his hat, which had
fallen off. 1t was overheard one night on
the Boulevards: eff pick you up,I
fall; if fall you will not pick me up
then / leave you;' and he staggered
proudly away.
"MA," said young Brooklynite, as he
stood before the looking-glats wrestling
with shirt-collar, 81 shall be twenty
four years old tomorrow, and when re-
feet that never yet had shirt to fit me
in the neck, it seems as if my life had
been failure"
WAGES are ten cents day in China;
but with those ten cents you can sub
scribe for daily paper, buy pair of
striped stockings, witness play that
Portable sum left to send to the benighted
denizens of the New World to be used
for missionary purposes.
"THIs is not the poor house Office"
impertinently suggested a Rochester
newspaper clerk, the other day, to a
seedy. looking individual entering the
Office. "And, bedad, by your looks, not
an intelligence Office, aither," answered
Pat, and he carried the years subscrip-
ton away again in his pocket-boOk.
New ORLEANS Republican: When a
man is in the gutter he has reached a
spirit level. 1t is said there are no bed
bugs in Nevada, and but few beds. A
merchant has telegraphed for an invoice
of fish, sent G. o. ID. A new liquor law
is wanted in Maine; one that will secure
better liquor.
The Greeks characterized human fol-
lies and absurdities by such phrases as
He plows the air." she is making
clothes for fishes;" "he catches the wind
with a net :" "he rOasts snow in fur
nace;" "he holds looking-glass to q
mole;" he is teaching iron to swim"
che seeks wool on an ass;" "he washes
Jne EInlOplaH.
A CURIOUS story comes from Ovington,
Maine, where ga citizen made a squash
grow to great size last season by cut
ting off the vine about six feet from the
squash and inserting the end into pan
into which fresh milk was daily poured.
1t absorbed about two quarts of milk a
day and gained pound a day in
weight" This, we take it, calls for proof.
Show us the pan and sample of the
milk.
NORWICH Bulletin: His hat was gone,
his coat-tails were twisted round his
neck, one eye was filled with coal dust,
and he had general appearance of hav-
ing been pulled up by the roots. You
would have thought he had been in
fight with threshing machine. But he
had not. He had merely tried to CROSS
street where one of heavens zephyrs
plaved