The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1876-11-16
An Old Fashioned School Director.


chair in the school board of his dis
trict, aud he at once began to take
an interest in educational affairs.
Ho wanted plain teaching, he said |,
didn't want any high falutin learning
forced upon the scholars, aud de-
clared that he would kick the first
teacher out of the school"house who
attempted to stuff the children with
the new-fangled notions. There's
fore the new director was startle |
when his most promising son told
him that the teacher proposed to in
troduce algebra into the school
"What kind of study is that 7"
asked Mrs. Search. "Timothy, Ill
be bound that it's some outlandish
book that the dominic has writ. My
sons brains shan't bo stuffed with
it,
"Dosen't tho sound Of the name
tell you what kinl o { a study il is ?"
said Search. "Why it's the history
of a new tangled animal relate Il 10
the zebra, | suppose. Blamed il he
shall teach it in this school district !
That very afternoon the new Iii.
rector visited the school for the first
time. He was graciously received
by the new teacher, who was listening
to class in geography.
III understand, Mr. that you want
to introduce the history Of the algc.
bra into this school 2" said Search
81 had thought of doing 81.
"Had thought of it, eb ? Well, let
il go no further than that. l don't
want my children to know anyt hing
about such outlandish animals. The
algebra may run wild in his native
country, bat we don't want him
troubeling the children in our
school. that we don't.
"But Mr.. Search, tho new study
will assist the scholars in mathemat-
les "
"See here that's too thin. If |
would read the history of the rhi-
noceros, could | subtract better than
/ do Would tho biography of the
giraffe enable me to multiply with
more facility Now, sir, answer
these questions. and tell me how the
algebra could advance the children in
arithmetic. D."
"You misunderstood me. sir, said
the teacher. algebra is not an AMI
mll-no moro so than hydrosta-
ties'
Hydro thunder - exclaimed
Search. II suppose you'd like to
Introduce acrimonies Into the school.
With my consent no tomiDUlery
shall be taught in this district The
algebra il as much an animal rs the
gyasticutas is. and if | hear another
word about teaching its history to
the scholars, III DO blamed if you
cant leave"
"Sir, 1 regret that we differ
What shall | teach t?
"reach good common-sense. sir, y
said Search "teach that this world
is Hat, as reason aud our eyosight
tells us. We don't want any round
worlds swinin on nothin' in this
district, and we don't care if the sun
is ninety-iive miles of. Telch the
boy that Andy Johnson was better
man than Columbus, and if hear
that you try to make them believe
that Martin Van Buren, was elected
President honestly. durned il you
cant leave this district We had n
feller teachin here once who talked
about Cromwall, Briidock, and lot
of other old Romans, aud worried
the directors till they turned him
off. You needn't teach the girls
anything in particular /; they learn
too fast anyhow The other teacher
filed their heads full of Cleo-some.
body. till they called the poys Anto-
ny AMI Caesar. We want good,
solid education II you know old
Croesus made his money, tell the
boys, but no stuff of the filthy habits
of algebra, or any other wild beast
The show business is not paying
this summer and we don't want our
boys to be Barnum' 8 and Dan Rics's.
You might tell them how Ben
Franklin conght thunder aud lights
min in bottle, for that is scientific,
but tell them to keep away from
Walnut trees in thunder storm"
"Youve no objections to me
teaching a title hygiene p
II have, sir. No new-fangled
doctrines in this school, 1 tell you.
No high giene and no los giene, but
if you want to introduce Robinson
Crusoe into the school, III assist
you. But no such studies as alge-
bra and high giene while I'm direc
tor. After while you'll want to
teach that the earth isn't half rs big
Ms the sun. Darn your highfulutin
stuff y
The teacher has hard row to hoe
in Timothys district, aud he dosen't
teach algebra either.