Lincoln County advocate. (Canton, Dakota Territory, [S.D.]) 1876-1877, 1876-12-20
From the Sunday Mercury.
MY COUSINS PLOT.
BY H. G. WILLIS.

BY H. G. WILLIS.
"You are a big goose; there, now"
And my little cousin Jessie's face
glowed with an unwonted expression of
anger. | say unwonted, because she
was generally one ~f the best natured
little creatures in the world.
"My dear cousin" said I, as blandly
as possible, and assuming, as l spoke,
highly philosophical air-"my dear
cousin, it is pity you were not born
forty years earlier"
"And why so, pray?"
because then you might have had
children of your own, to tyrannize
over, and should have been spared
your more than grandmotherly advice
and espionage. I fancy that I have
arrived at an age when I no longer re-
quire the parental, maternal, nor cous-
inal rule to keep me from going
astray, and see no reason, or rather
no excuse, for the interposition of your
wisdom-mighty as it undoubtedly is
in my private affairs"
~ don't care whether it is any of
my business or motif you marry that
girl, I'll never speak to you again."
"Won't your" Pm sorry to hear it.
Miss Idelia Vaughn is 8 young lady of
great responsibility. Her family is un-
exceptionable; her education is COM
plete-a great deal better than yours,
my dear-and she mas some wealth
These are worldly considerations, but
they should be satisfactory to my
friends. For the rest, she has an affec'
tionate disposition"
can afectionate humbug."
"a sympathetic heart"
eyes; she carries her tears in bel
pocketrhandkerchief, and applies them
when required"
"She has beautiful countenance-'
"What an imagination you are gifted
with 1"
GA fine figure"
ooh, oh, that is going little too far
She is veritably bone-nothing but a
bone; and must say, very ill-shaped
bone at that"
"Miss Jessie, I protest against any
such abuse Of a person whom esteem
have told you that / have offered my.
self to her, and that cherish greater
regard for her than for any other young
lady I ever saw. These facts should
insure her q due degree. of respect
from my friends and relatives"
"Due degree of nonsense! I tell
you, cousin, you are ninny, and that
girl-no, that spinster-is no more fit tc
be your wife than she is to talk com.
mon sense"
II have used my own judgment in
proposing marriage to her, and shall
continue to do So"
"You never shall marry her while
live! !"
"You can't help it," -
"You shall see !"
And my little cousin Jessie shook her
founces and ribbons like small but
well.feathered bird, and sailed out OF
the room in tempest of silk AND
crinoline.
1 must, Of course, tell my readers
what Miss Idelia Vaughn was like, after
introducing her as my intended bride
To do SO fairly, I shall give both sides
of the picture-my own and that of my
cousin Jessie.
My idea of Miss Vaughn was, that
she was a tall, elegant young lady, with
a severely classical face, rich, auburn
ringlets, graceful and digni6ed Car
riage, and an impression of poetry anc
refinement on her features.
Ny cousin Jessie said that she was &
bean-poley, inelegant old maid, with {
severely homely face, thin, molasses
colored stringlets, a mincing and affect
ed carriage, and an expression Of Laura
Matilda sentimentality on her features
The reader will see that we differed
I became infatuated with Mis-
Vaughn, from reading three poems sh,
published in d country paper; one O.
which, commencing:
"My sad soul sits in sable sheen;
The Orphic fire consumes my heart"
betrayed such depth of feeling and so,
row, that fell in love with the I'm
known writer. and my desire to know
sympathize with, and console her, pro
cured an interview, through the gooe
nature Of the country editor, and made
such fine Byronic speeches to her, tina
she returned my affection, almost al
Jersey jockeys swap horses" onsight
onseen."
My little Jessie and were confdents
We told each other everything. If
went to supper and brought away toe
much champagne Under my waistcoat
1 freely confessed it to Jessie. If she
had shown too much preference to
some smooth tongued stranger and
made her old friends jealous, she told
me of it. If I fell in love-which !
did in those days about once week
Jessie was tie recipient of my rhapso-
es, and if one Of the young men of
the neighborhood succeeded in getting
his courage up to the point Of propos.
ing to Jessie mot very rare occur
renee Il was the first, and generally
the only person, who knew of the poor
fellows overthrow.
Heretofore we had agreed charming.
", but now we were at open issue, and
Adelis Vaughn was the rock upon
which we split. Of course, when I told
that young lady (twenty-six is not toe
old for q young lady-is it girls 2? that
I was her slave and would wish nc