The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-05-25

IVSulG was painful Ill tlC CAuCulC-llC
wizards face was peppered with the shot,
and the spectator who fired the gun was
given into the custody of the police. Both
the other by the gallows.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Sins of commission-selling bad but.
ter and cheese on q margin.
The most familiar sign in New York
just now is To Rent" So, at least, SAYS
the Tribune of that city.
The Sheriff of Perquimans County.
N. c., weighs 40 pounds. When pris.
oner is refractory he sits down on him.
Some of the superfluous boys of the
land continue to kill themselves off by de-
vouring wild-parsnip, thinking it good to
eat.
"A Western journalist says that the
girl of the period prides herself on "being
no larger round than CANDLE" What
he means is that she wants q taper"
waist.-Rochestes' Erpress.
"A Chicago wife asked for a divorce
because her husband was habitually
drunk. He admitted being habitually
drunk, and pleaded that as an excuse for
net bringing the suit himself.
Two schoolgirls out in Council
Bluffs went before Justice of the Peace
in the exuberance of their innocent affec-
tion, and besought him that he would
unite them in the holy bonds Of matri-
mony.
An exchange says: "Some of Our
boatmen are training green mules for the
towpath." We suspect that, on account
of the backwardness of spring, mules will
be a month later than usual in getting
ripe.-Nortstoac Herald.
Mrs. Harriet Gray, of Marquette, has
invented labor-saving tea-kettle. It gets
up in the morning, splits the wood, builds
the fire, puts itself on, makes the coffee,
and then calls the folks to breakfast
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
"A North Carolina witness testified
that man does not get so drunk that he
does not know what he is doing. As evil
dence on this point, he said if drunken
man is bothering you and you give him
good licking, he will never bother you
again.
-"Oh zis ees re kindt peoples-ze peo
Piles 20 goot," was the exclamation of his
Brazilian majesty as the first American
he encountered after landing thoughtfully
pressed upon him handful descriptive
of the magic properties of certain salve
for cOrns.
Scene in horse car-seats all occu-
pied: Lady enters. Elderly gentle
man rises. Lady: Don't rise, 1
beg OF you. much prefer you should
keep your seat, SIR" ''Shodid be very
happy to accommodate you, madam, but
l want to get out here"
Who ever heard of a school of fish
breaking into a field and eating up the
crop! And yet California newspaper
says that large quantities of wheat in that
State have been destroyed by fish during
the past winter, owing to the submersion
of the fields by high water, and the fish
feeding on the tender grain roots.
"A Chicago boy who is addicted to 60
Ing to the theater to see the heavy drama
called his father to supper the other day
by bawling out, "What, no, there, base
craven! Come hither TO thy vesperian
hash!" Ana when that father and son
came together it sounded as if the belt
had slipped off twenty-foot tly-wheel.-
Baltimore american.
The Norwich (Conn.) Bulletin says:
" The GROWING of the May Queen passed
off very pleasantly in Killingly. We do
not remember, just now, any record of
Queen mounting her throne dressed in q
waterproof and pair of rubbers, with
slice of pork done up in red flannel around
her throat; but these old historical cos
tunes always strike one strangely at first"
Obadiah Hopkins, who committed
suicide at Hackensack, N. j., recently,
was very rich and apparently had every
thing about him to make life desirable.
He amassed his great fortune in the
manufacture of Hopkins pies" once
famous in New York. The Hartford
Couront says: 1t seems only too evident
that pie gave him dyspepsia, and dys-
pepsia gave him melancholy, and melan-
pie eaters and pie makers, too, should not
be lost"
The old gentleman rushed across the
street, raised his hat and offered to assist
her in any possible way. His wife fol-
lowed him across at slow pace, and wit
Messing. his devotion to the stranger, she
got mad and shook her fist at him; Its
all right-it's all right" he whispered.
" Yes, know it isl she holly exclaimed.
Here an unknown woman stubs her toe,
up with kindness. The other day when
fell down stairs you stood at the bottom
and laughed and chuckled and tickled
your ribs, and wanted to know if I was
practicing for circus. "-Boston Globe
Another interesting technicality has
made its appearance in the New York
courts. At Buffalo recently, in murder
case called for trial in the Supreme Court,
the defendants counsel moved to ouash
the entire panel of Jurors on the ground
that it was not properly impaneled, the
law requiring the jury to be drawn J" from
the body of the county and there being
one town in the county not represented in
the box from which the jury was drawn.
The court granted the. motion; and the
lawyers are beginning to inquire how
many Of the cases which have been tried
be tried over again.
"A lady of this place was quietly sit
ting at her sewing one day last week,
when she observed a neighbor approach
ing the house whom she did not care to
see. She quickly dropped her work and
stepped into closet, SO IS not !" to be at
nome" to her caller. The closet door
closed with spring and imprisoned the
lady. The caller, finding the lady absent,
did not stop, but when the lady tried to
open the door she discovered, alas, that
she was prisoner. The lady realized
that she was consuming the air very fast,
yet she was powerless to release herself
from her prison. She remained In the
closet about four hours, and when her hus-
band returned home at supper time he
missed his wife, but thought nothing
about it. Having occasion to look into
the closet, he discovered his wife lying
insensible on the floor. He quickly with
drew her inanimate form, when the air
revived her, and thus was prevented what
! few hours longer might have proved q
Times.