The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-04-06
How Lady Gets on a Street-Car.

Did You ever observe the manner in
which lady gets on and off the street.
car? What deliberation of movement,
what daintiness as to where she steps,
and with what Importance withal she at
last settles herself in her seat, as much
as to say, "If l pay five cents for ride
| mean to get the worth of it."
The car is going at full speed down
the street. A lady on the corner wants
to get in and halls the driver. She re-
mains on the sidewalk until the car
comes to full stop. Then she looks
up and down the street, and waits mo-
ment as though deciding which foot to
put out first; then she reaches Sround
behind her and gathers in a handful of
surplus overskirt, skirts, hustle, etc,
and runs her other hand through her
muff and takes hold of the front of her
dress, and lifts it little, and then looks
behind her to see that all is right, and
with farewell look up and down the
street she starts for the car. She steps
very slowly and impressively, measur-
ing every step, and when she
reaches the car pauses a moment,
as though sleep-walking, and looks
absentlv at the conductor as though
about to tell him some important secret.
He, poor man, has stood with his hands
on the bell strap so great a portion OF
his days waiting for just such a woman
as she, that somehow he don't look
natural in any other position. Well,
she at last puts her foot on the first step
of the car, and then as matter OF
course puts her other foot on the other
step, and then she is fairly aboard.
Then she goes in the door and every
body gives a breath of relief, for they
have all been watching her three min
ute and a half journey from the side
walk with a sort of fascination born OF
the fear that she might change her
mind, she acts so irresolute and hesitat-
inc, as it were. Then the bell rings and
the car starts, Unexpectedly to her,
of course, and she performs
the remainder go of the journey
in short order by sitting with conclusive
violence up against fat old party, and
as suddenly rebounding as though she
had hit big rBbber ball with herself,
and got bounced thereby. Then the
COuuuClOI tOlIGS 1OI lICl lstlC 1iN oiiC
gives him a ten dollar bill, and he gives
her the change and she counts it with a
suspicious air and puts it in her pocket
book. So by-and-by she signs the con-
ductor that she wants to get off, and she
rings the bell and the driver stops two
feet short of the crOss-walk, and when
she gets to the door she says she "don't
want to get off the car in two feet of
mud and half a mile from the walk,
and the conductor, with thoughts not
loud but deep, starts up the car
the other two feet, and, with
the perversity only known to street.
car drivers, ii goes beyond two feet
or more, and the lady is landed two feet
from her destination at last. But she
makes him pay for it getting off. She
stands on the step and wonders how she
is ever going to reach that walk with
out getting all mud, the conductor see
ing, meantime, the other car on the
switch waiting for him, and knowing
that the horses will have to run half a
mile to make up lost time. So the lady
goes through with the overskirt hustle
gathering process and looks up and
down the street and down and up the
street, and then slowly and daintily steps
off, waited on her journey by something
that he said to himself privately that
was overheard, but will never be told of.
Detroit Free Press.