The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-06-14

from heavy hotel clerk upsets me
whole day. Farewell, young man
don't bile any extra tsters for NO."
He was very young man. A few
stray hairs upon his lip attested the
fact that he was engaged in deadly
struggle with q mustache. He went
into a variety store on Main street,
and said to the proprietor: "Have
you Charles Reade's Lost Heir p"
mo, I haven't" replied the store
keeper. "But," he continued, looking
into the young mans face, "Pve got
something that will make that mus
tache of yours start out like boils in
Spring time"
Fishing for shad is done on large
scale at Gloucester, on the Delaware.
A net 475 fathoms in length and
boat rowed by thirty negroes are used,
about five hundred shad taken at each
haul. Some of the fish are sent to
market and some are served on the
spot to excursion parties from Phila.
delphia. The latter are "planked,"
which means roasting them on cedar
planks before a fire.
sThe man who canvasses for adyer.
tisements to be printed on rags to
wrap up sore fingers is expected in
town in few days. Also the tooth
pick advertiser. Our enterprising
merchants will probably patronize
them extensively, and then wonder
why people will 60 to Syracuse to
buy dry goods and clothing Water
totcn Times.
An ingenioFus renchman on Long
Island claims to have discovered a
sure means of destroying the potato
bugs. Mix one gallon of prussic acid
with three ounces of rend rock, stir
well, and administer tablespoonful
every hour and a half till the bug
shows signs of weakening. Then
stamp on him.
One Ohio editor says of q contem
porary who had assumed the part Of
. mummy in dramatic performance /:
"He' was obliged to put little ami
nation into himself to come up with
the character, and to wear more recent
linen; but that was about all. Ma
ture had admirably qualified him to
act the part"
Art received rather an awkward
criticism from free-and. easy young
man who recently met sculptor in
a social circle, and addressed him
thus: "Er-er-so you are the man
er- that makes-er-mud heads %
And this was the artists reply "Er-
er-not all of 'em; l didn't make
yours"
A gentleman, whose house was un.
der repair, went out one day to see
how the work progressed, and observ-
ing a quantity Of nails lying about,
be said to the carpenter: "Why don't
yGu take care of these nails? They'll
certainly be lost" "No," replied the
carpenter; you'll find them in the
bill"
Intelligent housemaid-"Oh, please,
miss, there was young gentleman
called when you was out. He didn't
leave no card, roiss, but l can show
you who he is, cause there's three of
bis photographs in your album"
In Philadelphia they have handker-
chiefs with the Declarat ton printed on
them in French, German, and English,
so that one can now blow his nose
in three languages in the Quaker city.
Brooklyn Eagle.
A woman in western city recently
fell out of a second-story window and
strnck on her head. She said she
didn't know when anything had made
her so mad before.
A ehiropodist announces on his
cards that he has removed corns from
several of the crowned heads of Eu-
rope"
Crnsty says that the list of maria
ges in the newspapers ought to be put
under the head of "Ring Frauds"
Pinkus, who gets halfseas-over on
three schooners of beer, calls himself
an amateur yaehtsman.
rheumatism is always a joint affair,
and vet there is only one Dartv 10 IL