The Cecil Whig., 1876-08-12
ARTEMUS WARD.
INCIDENTS OF HIS LIFE, AS STRETCHED BY
HIMSELF,

INCIDENTS OF HIS LIFE, AS sKETCHED BY
HIMSELF.
! 1t was not long before the breaking ou,
! of the war that short paragraphs began to
/ 60 the rounds Of the American papers un
! der the signature of Artemus Ward; and
! in very short time the utterances of this
! parsonage were more familiar to the great
reading public OF tie Uuited States than
J those Of any writer who had ever addressed
! them on any subject not distinctly con-
nectcd with either religion or politics.
The Artemus Ward literature-it is still
scattered, and the task of collecting it in a
single volume from the columns of contem-
porary newspapers, and arranging it intel
lisently and according to date, is still to be
performed consists of letters to the edi-
tors of various newspapers on the political
and social topics Of the day, and to his
strong minded, middle aged wife. As the
fctitosas Snowman grows into fame, he
! thinks it due to the public to give "sum
leadin in cidents - Of his life.
81 hav no Doubt he writes to news
paper editor, "that article onto my life,
dramatically .ierked and properly punktoo-
ated, would be addition to the chois liter
atoor of the day.
To the youth of Ameriky it would be
valiyble as shown how high pinnykle of
fame man can reach who commences his
career with small canvas tent and a pea
green OK, which he rubbed it off while
scratctin hisself agin the center pole,
; causin in Railway, N. j., a discriminatin
mob TO say humbugs would not go down
in their village. The OK resoomed agricul-
! tooral purSoots shortly afterwards.
next tried my hand at given Blind man
concerts, appearin as the blind man my self.
But the infamous cuss who l hired to lead
me round town in the daytime to excite
sympathy drank freely of spiritoous Ticker
unbeknowns to me one day, and while un-
der their inflooance he led me into the
canal. l had either to tear the green band
age from my eyes or be drownded. tho't
I'd restore my eyesight.
In writin about these things, Mr.. Editer,
kinder smooth EN- over. Speak of 'em as
eccontrissites of genius.
If you see fit to criticise my Show, speak
your mind freely. do not object to kriti-
rism. Tell tue public, in graceful arti-
! Gle, that my Show abounds in moral and
startlin cooriosities, any one of whom is
wuth duble the price of admission.
| hav thus far spoke of myself excloo-
sivoly as exhibitor.
! was borne in the State of Maine of
parents. AS infant attracted a great
deal of attention. The nabers would stand
over my cradle for hours and say, elbow
bright that little face looks! How much it
nose"
hav alters sustained good moral char
acter. I was never railroad director in
my life.
am a early riser. Imay add that
am also bald headed. keep two cows.
am sc (56) years of age. Time, with
its relentless scythe, is ever busy. The
Old Sexton gathers them in, he gathers
them in: keep a pig this year.
Trooly yours. ARTEMUs WARD.
The Snowman has an overweening and
ludicrous sense of his own Importance, and
of the value of his smallest utterance on
'a affairs and things"
'The stoodent and connyseer, " he writes,
- p,rct how poficnd apd adr,irad in ya rie
parts of the United States of America,
large yeller handbills, which were not only
gems of art in themselves, but they truth
fully sit forth the attractions of my show
tains many Iivin' wild animals, every one
of which has got Beautiful Moral.
Them handbills is sculpt in New York,
& annooly repair here to git some more
of EN-.
& ben' here thot I'd issoo Address
to the public on matters and things.
Since last ] meyandered these streets, I
hav bin all over the Pacific Slopes and
Utah. cum back now with my virtoo
unimpared, but I've got to git some new
clothes.
Many changes has taken place, even
durin my short absence, & sum on 'em is
sollum to contemplate. The house in Var
wich street, where used to board, is bein
torn down. That house, which was rem
iered memorable by my livin into it, is
'parsin away! parsin away! But some of
the timbers will be made into canes, which
will be sold to my admirers at the low
price Of one dollar EACH"