davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31
Patent Fallacies.

The Patent Office at Washington is the
grave of great many remarkable notions.
and some Of the revelations that occasion.
ally come from it of the queer turn of
American inventive genius are very amusing.
The Washington Republican in looking over
some of the ridiculous patents recently
issued, finds one issued to an inventor of
an artificial moon. His idea was to have
an immense balloon, which was to be
moored in the air above the town or citv.
and from which would be suspended an
electric light or great fire. BY means of
TINS invention we were to become entirely
independent Of the moon, and dispense
with gas lamps in the streets altogether.
Still another wanted patent for placing
large propeller wheel on the bow of n
boat. The vessel was simply to be started
by steam engine, and then the forward
motion of the boat would cause the water
to turn the wheel on the bow. and this
wheel would in turn impart motion to
another wheel at the stern, which is to
drive the boat forward. The inventors
great fear in regard to this invention was
that it would be impossible to build boat
that would be strong enough to 60 through
the water at the immense speed he expected
to attain by means of his invention. and
his great object was to invent some metbod
to keep the boat from running more than
fifty miles an hour.
Another wanted to obtain patent upon
an embalming compound, and wishing to
show how we'll it would preserve bodies,
obtained the body Of an infant, embalmed
it in his best manner, and sent the BODY to
the office as a model. His model was in. |
stantly returned to him.
Applications for patents for perpetual
motion are about as frequent as ever.
Many of these inventions show great deal
u ingenuity, but all of them an utter lack
u knowledge Of the simplest laws of ma.
ure.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31
POeITV.
BACHELOR AND BENEDICT,

BEFORE MARRIAGE
My Maggie, my beautiful darling,
Creep into my arms my sweet
Let me fold you again to my bosom
So close l can hear your heart beat
What. these little fingers been sewing?
Ones beer pricked by the needle I see;
These hands shall be kept from such labor
When once they are given to me-
All mine, little pet, will shield you
From trouble, and labor and care,
will robe you like some fairy princess,
And jewels shall CLEAN in your hair;
Those slippers you gave me are perfect,
That dressing Gown fits to T.
sly darling, SM der that Heaven
should give such stFeasure to me.
Eight-nine-ten-eleven! my precious,
Time 1es so when l am with you,
1t seems but moment I've been here,
And now, must say it?-Adieul
AFTER MARRIAGE.
Oh, Meg, you are heavy I'm tired;
Go sit in the rocker, pray;
Your weight seems hundred and ninety,
When you plump down in that sort of way.
You had better be mending my coatsleeve-
have spoken about it before
And want to finish this novel
And look over those bills from the store.
This dressing gown sets like the devil
These slippers run down at the heel;
Strange nothing can ever look decent;
wish you could know how they feel.
What's this bill from Morgan's? Why surely.
It's not for another new dresso
LOOK here, I'll be bankrupt ere New Year,
Or your store bills will have to grow less.
Eight o'clock. Meg, sew on this button
As soon as you finish that sleeve;
Heigh-ho! I'm 50 deucedly sleepy,
I'll pile off TO bed, believe,
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

JUSTIFIED AT LAsT.-H. W. Edmords.
paying teller of the Second National Bank
OF Boston, was discharged two years ago
because he was unable to account for the
disappearance of $4,000. The missing
money was found yesterday in a crevice
ofthe safe into which it had slipped at the
time of its disappearance.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

The Methodist ministers of Boston, at
their weekly meeting last week, adopted a
memorial to the General Conference asking
that the present form of consecrating
Bishops be "freed from some of its
features" especially the imposition of
hands.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

The superintendent of public schools at
Lawrence, Mass, has been instructed by
the school committee to express to tie class
about to graduate from the high school tho
views Of the committee regarding over-ex-
travagance in dresses for graduation day.
IT there is prospect Of the profuse and ex-
travagant expenditure which has appeared
in previous years, it is intended to have a
delivery of diplomas without public exhi-
bition
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

Inc town authorities of Chico, Cal, have
passed an ordinance declaring swarms of
the common honey bee nuisance within
the corporate limits of the town. They are
destructive to fruit.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

In Anol<a, Mimi, recently, a six-year old
girl was overheard telling her playmates
that she had attended church sociable
the evening before, and that little boy
kissed her while they were engaged in a
play, but she said, That's no harm, cause
it was our preachers boy, you know"
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

There are persons living in this city with
a web connecting the second and third
fingers of each hand, and the corresponding
toes third and fourth) of each foot. The
popularity has descended through five gen
erations. 1t is said relative in Plymouth
had a surgical operation performed to divide
his fingers, and that it resulted in a loss of
control of the extcnsor muscles of the
ilngers' 50 that lie could not open his
hands.-Nco Bc!torI .Hass.) Standard.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

A young pan in Massachusetts couldn't
get up courage enough to "pop the ques-
ton" to his girl, and so sent his offer by
mail. He got postal-card in reply briefly
saying: "Fetch on the preacher"
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

AKentuckypa paper, ,inreporting
says that the bride was not particularly
handsome, but the father threw in seven
mules, and the husband was satisfied.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

" Will you please insert this obituary
notioe?' asked an old gentleman of an
editor. al make bold to ask it because l
know the deceased had a great many friends
here who'd be glad to hear of his death.''
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

The following was the reply to the ques-
ton, (Which of the two popular London
preachers do you like best?' naming them.
al like to hear Mr.. - preach best, be-
cause l don't like any preaching, and he
comes nearest to nothing of any that ever
heard"
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

A lady had her dress trimmed with
pugles before going to ball. Her little
daughter wanted to know if the bugles
would blowwhen she danced. aoh, nor
said the mother, "papa viii do that when
he sees the BILL"
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

A celebrated gourmand once said, "To
enjoy stuffed turkey thoroughly, there
should be only two present-yourself and
the turkey.n
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

When does u farmer double sheep
Without hurting itf-When he folds il.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31
WHOLE NO. 1.1OI,

BEST THINGs.-The best theology-a plIre
and beneticient life. The best philosophy
"a contented mind. The best Iaw-tbe
golden rule. The best education
knowledge The best statesmanship-yelf
government. The best medicine-clcnr.
fulnoss and temperance The best art
painting smiles upon the brow Of childhood
The best demonstrating sunshine
from a cloudy way. The best war--war
against ones weakness The best music
the laughter Of an innocent child. Tho
best Journallsm-printing the true and the
beautiful only, on memory's tablet. The
best teIegraphing-flashing a ray Of sun.
SHINE into gloomy heart. The best
biography-the life which writes characters
in the largest letters The best matbo.
matics-that which doubles the most lows
and divides the most sorrows. The hest
navlgation-stecring clear Of the laccratinr
rocks Of personal contention. The best
dlplomacy-effecting treaty Of peace with
ones own conscience. The best engineer.
ing-building a bridge Of faith over the
river of death.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

Tho English Potsnt Journal describes
combination of foot-warming apparatus
with boot. The heel Of the boot is Of
metal and hollow, and contains a supp " of
artificial fuel. The heat from this is made
to pass through channels in the inner sole,
a part of which is placed upon a spring, so
that the action Of the foot in walking acts
like bellows, drawing in the cold air by
an aperture in the heel and driving the
heated air into the boot. A modification
of the apparatus can, it is thought, be ap.
piled to horse shoes.
Smyrna times., 1876-05-31

A curious discovery has lately been made
in the Louvre of an authentic portrait of
the celebrated Flemish anatomist Vesalius.
painted by Jan van Calcar, who designed
many of the anatomical figures in the
works of Nesalius. Itrcprcscnts thelearned
professor at about the age of twenty-six.
lie stands leaning against a column, and
wears ring on his left hand bearing the
inscription, "a. V. B. Andrcas VesaIius
BruXeliiensis." 1t is this inscription, which
has hitherto escaped unnoticcd, that has
led to the Identification of the portrait.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
Commissioners Notices.
COMMISSIONERS OFFICE,

4
~ STAUNToN, VA, June 22d, 1876.
To W. j. D. Bell, James A. Bel and Margaret A.
Crawford, EXecutrx OF James Crawford, deceased,
strator. d. b. II. of Ben T. Reid, decd; David S.
Bell, Admir- OF John McCue. Decd and in his own
right with Elizabeth his wife, VIM. A. McCue, JOHN
II. McCue, Cyrus Alexander and Sarah j., his wife,
VIM B. Dorman and Margaret c j, his wife, James M.
McCue. Alex. H. McCue, Hannah H McCue, Decatur
Hodges and Martha r., his wife, Henry NJ. McCue,
and Ellen S. McCue Defendants, in the chancery
cause OF Bell ct al VS.. Reids Admir-. &C.. now
pending in the Circuit Court of Augusta and to all
persons whomsoever and howsoever concerned in
the taking Of the following named accounts.
Take Notice. that in pursuance OF q decree rend-
cred i'll said cause on the 18th day of June, 1876,
SHALL at my office in Staunton, on FRIDAY, the 4tA
day of AUGUST 1876 proceed to take state and set
tie an account showing:
lst The transactions of John McCue, deed, as
Executor of the estate OF James Mcdowell Motfett
and the liability upon said McCue's estate, by rea-
son OF his fduciary trust.
End. An account of the transactions of David s.
Bell as Admir- OF the estate of John McCue, decd,
ana especially OF what part, If any OF the estate II
James NcD Nolfett, decd. passed into the hands OF
bonds or other evidences of debt due the estate OF
said Moffett
3rd. The priority of the Indebtedness of the es-
tate OF John McCue to the estate CT said Motfett, as
compared with other liabilities of said McCues es-
tate.
4th. OF any other matters deemed pertinent by
commissioner or required by any OF the parties to
be stated,
tend, JW GREEN SMITH Com'r
june 29-4t
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
Asslgnee's Sale
AL ESTATE


By virtue of order entered in the District Court
OF the United states Tor the Western District of Va
on the 18th day OF April 1876, in the matter of Rich
ard E. Thornhill, in bankruptcy, shall, on
il, SATURDAY, the 22nd day of JULY 1876,
in front of the Court House door of Rappahannock
county, sell at public auction to the ha esi bidder
all OF the real estate in the possession of the
said Richard Z. Thornhill, and upon which he now
resides. This real estate consists of several small
tracts or parcels of land, containing
ABOUT 4519 ACRES,
lies in Rappahannock county. and has upon it com
Portable Farm Buildings. Also another Tract OF
Land containing about 1875 acres, formerly owned by
George Ficklin, decd.
1t will be sold in parcels lots if deemed on the
day OF sale for the benefit OF the said bankrupt and
his creditors.
The Terms Of Sale will be- one fourth of the pur-
chase money in cash, and the residue in three equal
payments, with interest thereon. secured by bonds
with good security. payable in six, twelve and eigh
teen months from the day of sale, and the title
tanned until the whole amount of purchase money
is paid. H. S. MENEFEE, Assignee
june 22-tds of Richard f. Thornhill
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
ASSIGNEE'S SALE.

Pursuant to decree Of the United States District
Court for the Western District Of Virginia. in the
matter of J. H. Harnesberger, bankrupt, will sell
at the front door Of the Court House in Harrison
burg, Va, on
MONDAY. the 3lst day of JULY. 1876.
the real estate surrendered by said Bankrupt and
described in his amended schedule as a one-tenth
interest in tract Of $50 Acres lying the waters
North River in Rockingham and Augusta counties,
belonging to the estate OF Jacob Harnsberger, de-
ceased. ls j s.....tq .s..a. ~ III
TERMS.-One-fourth cash. and the balance on a
credit OF g. u and 10 months the purchaser to give
bonds with approved security for the payments;
with interest from the day Of SALE and the title
tanned as ultimate security. M ( III.
july 13-tds JOHN E. ROLLER, Assignee
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
A ssignee's Sale Of
"A EsHss e#g House and Lot.

In obedience to an order of the District Court OF
the United States for the Western District OF Vir
ginia entered June 22nd 1876 in the matter of Ed
mond p Rider, bankrupt, will, as Assignee OF
said bankrupt, on
~ z SATURDAY, the asth day of JULY, 1876,
in front OF the Courthouse in Luray, Va. sell at
public auction the following real estate, to wit
HOUSE AND LOT
situated in said town, South OF the Courthouse,
adjoining B. F. Grayson and others. Also, said
Bankrupts undivided interest, (1-D in House and
Lot, belonging to the estate OF Jacob Bell, decd.
This last named property will be sold subject to the
liens thereon. the sail interest being life estate
TERMS: -one-fourth cash. and the residue paya-
eighteen months with interest from day Of sale. the
purchaser to execute bonds with good personal Sc
curity for the deferred payments and the title to be
retained until all the purchase money is paid.
E. JONES ARMSTRONG, Assignee
july l3-tds OF Edmond p. Rider b'k't
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
miscellaneous.

II IRGINIA-1N vACATION.-In the Clerks Office
OF the Circuit Court for Augusta county, July
3rd, 1876.
James E. Ross, Admir-, Plaintiff
J. II. Bell, Defendant.
ON RULE, &C.
The object of this Rule is to require David S. Har-
ris the purchaser of the lands sold under decree in
the above cause and Robert j. Harris his surety
to appear before the Circnit Court of Augusta
should not decree the sale of said lands for de-
fault in non payment OF the first bond therefor
such sale to be at their proper risk.
1t appearing by affidavit filed, that David g. Har
rs, of said defendants is on-resident of this
State 1t is ordered that he do appear here on the
1st day OF the November Term next, and do what is
necessary to protect his interest. Teste,
July 6-4t j. N RYAN Clerk
Guy, p. q.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
docket case No.

H Docket case No. l 10
IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED
i States for the Western District OF Virginia.--In
Bankruptcy. 40
In the matter of Daniel Baugher. bankrupt.
At Harrisonburg, in said District on the 10th day
of July a. d., 1876.
Take Notice.-An order has been issued that all
the creditors of Daniel Baugher, bankrupt, appear
before C. Douglas Gray. Register in Bankruptcy. at
his Office in Harrisonburg, VA on the 18th day Of
August, a. d., 1876. at 10 O'Clock, m. and show
misunderstanding of three tracts of land, lying
in Rockingham county, Va; one containing liz
tanning 1000 acres, less, valued at $4,000.
the third containing 120 acres valued at 1884,
the last tracts being mountain land, should not
be sold free of LIENS by John E. Roller, Assignee in
bankruptcy of the said Daniel Baugher, and the
liens transfers ed to the fund in court.
C.DOUGLAS GRAY,
july 13-2t Register in Bankruptcy.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
.AssiSnee'.s Sales.
Assignee's Sale
RE AL ESTATE


By virtue OF an order entered in the District Court
of the United States for the Western District OF Vr
ginia the It'll day of April 1876 in the matter of
Henry Johnson, in bankruptcy, shall, on
SATURDAY, the 22nd day of JULY, 1876
in front of the Court House door OF Rappahannock
county, sell at public auction to the highest bidder
the tract Of land upon which the said Henry john
son now resides.
This tract of land lies in Rappahannock county
adjons the lands of the heirs-at-law OF Henry l..
Menefee, decd and Others, has upon it Il comfora-
BILE
DWELLING HOUSE,
together with other necessary out buildings, tol
erably good apple orchard and contains
ABOUT 2l8 ACRES
1t will be sold in lots parcels if deemed the
day Of sale for the benefit of the said bankrupt and
his Judgment credite rs.
THE TERMS OF SALE will be. one fourth of the
purchase money in cash. and the residue in three
equal payments with interest thereon, secured by
bonds with good security payable i'll six, twelve
and eighteen months from day OF SALE and the title
retained until the whole amount OF purchase mon
ey is paid. H. S. MENEFEE. Assignee
June 22-tdS of Henry Johnst IL.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
Assignee's Sale
ZEAL ESTATE
Page County. Va.
Page County. Va.

In pursuance Of an order Of the q. 8. Dist. Court
22nd, 1873, in the matter Of John w. Vaughn, Bk't
will as assignee OF said bankrupt. on
SATURDAY. the 2sth day OF JULY, 1876,
in front of the Courthouse in Luray. Va, sell at
public auction, n iS
As ACRES OF LAND,
more or less. surrendered by said bankrupt in Brink
Northeast Of the Courthouse, at vaughns Sum-
NIT. M 4s,f
TERMS -Onefonrth cash. and the residue paya-
BILE in three equal istallments, at six, twelve and
eighteen months with interest from day OF sale.
the purchaser to execute bonds with good personal
security for the deferred payments and the title to
be retained until all the purchase money Is paid.
,ra E. JONES ARMSTRONG, Assignee
July l3-tds Of John w. Vaughn, Bankrupt.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
July 1927
docket case No.

tNF "a docket case No. hi
IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED sai
L States for the Western District of Virginia.
In Bankruptcy.
In the matter of VIM. H. Woodde Bankrupt.
At Harrisonburg in said District, on the 9Th. day
of July, a. d., 1876. .M
Take Notice-An order has been issued that all
the creditors of VIM. H. Woodde bankrupt, ap-
pear before c. Douglas Gray. Register in Bankrupt
cy. his Office in Harrisonbnrg,Va on the 10th day
of August, a. d., 1876. at 10 o'clock, and show
cause if any they have why the real estate of said
misunderstanding of one tract OF land contain
ing ~ acres, lying in Augusta county, Va North
River, adjoining Andrew Karicofe Silas Vance, and
Others valued at $l4400 should not be sold free OF
liens by John Z. Roller Assignee in bankruptcy OF
the said VIM H. Wooddell, and the liens transfer
red to the fund in court. f4
1sEtafi ff-r C. DOUGLAS GRAY,
July l3-2t Register in Bankruptcy
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
July l3-2t
Docket case No. 222. /

rNTHE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED
i States for the Western District of Virginia.
In Bankruptcy. .,tEtzt t..
In the matter of A. G. wager bankrupt.
At Harrisonburg, in said District on the 9Th day
OF July, a. d., 1876.
To the creditors, and others interested in the es-
ate of said bankrupt.
Take Notice. that under an order from c. ID. Gray,
Register in Bar kruptcy in the above District, this
day made, a final general meeting of the creditors
said District the 22nd day of july d. 1876, at
u o'clock M, at the office of said c. D. Gray one OF
the purposes named in the Twenty-seventh Section
of the Bankrupt Act of March End, 1857.
JOHN E. ROLLER, Assignee.
july l3-2t u 'i'A
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
lease No. 1891

Case No. 1881
IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED
States for the Western District of Vain Bank
ruptcy.
In the matter OF George B. Susher, Bankrupt.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
The undersigned, John E. Roller, OF Rockingham
county, Va, hereby gives notice Of bis appoint
ment Assignee Of the estate of Geo. B. Slusher OF
Page county. in said District. who was, the 9th
day of July a. d. 1872. adjudged bankrupt on his
own petition by the District Court OF said District
Dated June 18th, 1876
feb. 13-3t JOHN E. ROLLER, Assignee.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
docket Case No.
Docket case No.
July l3-2t

IDUCKGI CHSU ]
TN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED
i States for the Western District of Vain
Bankruptcy, 80
In the matter of Joseph Harner Bankrupt
At Harrisonburg, in said District, on the 18th day
of July, a. d. 1876.
TAKE NOTICE.An order has been issued that all
the creditors of Joseph Haraer. bankrupt, ap-
cy at his office in Harrisonburg, Va, on the 9Th
day of August a. d. 1876, at 10 O'Clock, A. NJ and
show cause if any they have, why the real estate OF
said Bankrupt consisting of an undivided one-eighth
interest in tract of S55 acres and second tract o.
IL acres and poles, both lying near McGaheysville
Rockingham county being the land of which Geo
Harner died. seized. should not be sold free OF liens
by John E. Roller Assignee in Bankruptcy OF the
said Joseph Harner and the liens transferred to the
fund in court
C. DOUGLAS GRAY,
July 13-2t Register III Bankruptcy
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
COMMISSIONERS OFFICE,

4 lOMMSSiONERS OFFICE,
~ STAUNTON, June 22d, 1876
To David w Fadeey and Geo. A. Hanger pPfs
and VIM. L. Mowry, Sheriff OF Augusta county, and
as such, Administrator, d. b. c. a. OF Reuben D..
Hill, decd Hugh M McIlhany Admir- Of N. X. front
deceased John Deal and Melvipa, his wife: Z. 4. A..
McGilvery and Fanny, his wife; John W. Start and
Mary Virginia. his wife John W. Ewing and Rob
mia, his wife; John L. Hill, Charles Hill, Reuben
Hill Qnfant); Lille Hill, (infanD; Henrietta Hill,
llnfant}, and Joseph n Ryan, Guardian ad Item of
said infants, defendants Wayt Brother, petition
erS and to all creditors of Reuben d. HILL deceased.
rake Notice. that in pursuance of u decree of the
Crcul' Court OF Augusta, rendered on the 10th day
OF ule, 1876, in the chancery Of Fadeley
Hllfs Administrator, &c, shall, at my office in
StauEton, on SATURDAY, the 5th day of AUGUST,
1876, proceed to take state and settle the following
accounts:
lst. further account Of the Indebtedness of the
estate OF X. d. Hill, deceased, and
IND Ol any other matters deemed pertinent by
Comm ssloner, required by any party in interest
TO be stated. And all creditors of the said r. d.
HILL deceased, are hereby warned that unless they
DO appear and file their claims before the undersgn
ed on or before the said 9Th day OF August 1876 they
Will be, according to the terms OF said decree, for
ever hereafter debarred of the right of asserting
their said claims III
At which time and place you are required to at
tend.
j. w. GREEN SMITH, Con'r.
June 29-4t
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1876-07-20
A ssignee's Sale Of Real Estate
in Page County, Va

In pursuance OF an order of the United States Dis
trict Court for the Western District OF Virginia. en-
tered June 22nd 1876 in the matter Of JOS Painter
Bankrupt. WILL as Assignee of said Bankrupt,
sell at public auction. on
SATURDAY, the 29th day of JULY. 1876
in front OF the Court House in Luray, Va,
the following real estate, to witt:
A TRACT OF 80 ACRES,
more or less and one of Acres. more or less and
is the same surrendered by said bankrupt in Bank
ruptcy, situated in Page county. Va, about I miles
South west of the Court house. a.s,;
TERMS OF SALE.-One-fourth cash, and the resi-
due in three equal instruments, at six, twelve and
eighteen MONTHS with interest from day of sale,
the purchaser to execute bonds with good personal
security for the deferred payments and the title to
be retained until all the purchase money is paid.
E.. JONES ARMSTRONG, Assignee
July 10 IDS Of Jos. Painter, Bankrupt.