, 1876-11-19

Priest-Now tell me, Doolan, truthfu1ly, how
often do you 60 to the chapel! Pat-Wen now,
shure oi'l1 till yer riv'rcncc the truth. Fax 60
as often as I can avoid.
a little boy in the infant-class Of Sunday
school was asked by his teacher whether he had
learned anything during the week. ''Oh, yes" }"
said he. "What have you learned!'' |'Never
to trump your partners trick, u was the reply.
Dc Witt Talmagc is at home again, greatly
refreshed by his vacation, and the first Sunday
he preached he knocked the stuhlng out OF the
cushion and pounded the bare pulpit until the
people outside came in to see who was playing
the bass drum.--Burln.gton Hapk-Eye.
The late Dr. Norman Mcleod used to tell this
story as specimen Of boys theology: j.
Mamma says that good angels keep coed
boys" Aunt" Shall leave the candle burn
ings Are you frightcned!'' j." Ies-no-
frightened fora" J.-"Rats." Aunt Think,
| dear, about the good angels" J.-"Can they
kill rats!n
San Antonio Htrald.-In Ward No. 5, few
evenings ago, q fond mother undertook to teach
her little boy the Lords Prayer. The little fel-
low repeated the words after her until she came
he paused, aud seemed to be thinking very hard.
At last he said: "Therc amt no use asking God
for that bread. You can't humbug God that
way, ma, for He is everywhere, and He knows
we have done eat supper, and He must have
and If VIC try to fool Him He'll catch rs out on
the fy, first pop"
There are number of fmiddle-aged gentlemen,
who, thinking themselves endowed by nature
with oratorical ability, visit Sunday-schools to
display their speech-lnaking qualities. One Of
these gentry had a round OF four or FIVE schools
which he visited regularly and as regularly
bored, ending his orations invariably with
An,en! While visiting one Of the schools. the
Superintendent, out Of courtesy, asked him il
he desired to say few words to the school.
Strengthening himself up, he began: 'wa'al,
chil'un, the Superintendent wants me to speak
to yer! Meow, what shall say-what shall I
talk about!" A bright little fellow, about four
years Of age, sitting in the front seat, who
evidently lad heard the orator before, jumped
to his ieet, and lisped out loud enough to be
heard all over the schoolroom: "Thay tAmen,'
and thit down!:'
Respect for the body ecclesiastical does not
prevent the travelling Of this story through the
English papers: The Bishop of Lichield hath
taste for walking and on one occasion, some
time ago, he walked from church in the back
country to the railway-station, where he was to
take the train for home On the way, he hap
pencd to observe group OF men sitting to-
gether on The ground, ana Immediately resolved
to "say word i'll season. to them, after the
fashion Of the Caliph Haroun or the average
district tract distributor.
'sWell, my good men," said his Lordship, in
coqnito, 'wlat are you doingt"
The response Of one OF the men was not cal
culated to please and encourage the amiable
prelate. 1--WE bin Il loyin',; be said.
''Lyng!" said the horriticd Bishop. "What
do you :ican!n
siWhy, yer see,' was the explanation, ''one
of us fun Il kettle, and VIC bin a-tryin' who can
tell the biggest lie to have it,
q ssS;.ockins!' said the Bishop, and, straight
way improving the occasion, he proceeded to
impress upon the sinners the enorlnity of lying.
He informed them that he l,ad been taught that
Of the greatest sins was to tell Lie, and, in
fact, so strongly had this been urged upon him
that never in the whole course OF hts lie had be
told lie. Would that We might relate how
those wicked men were moved and charmed by
the recital Of such saintlincss
Alas! no sooner had the excellent Bishop
made this announcement than there was>a glee
full shout: 'sGie th' governor th' kettlct>> Gle
th' governor th' kcttle!"