Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-14
AFTrIadaI AZ aJa

fornia. 1t was restricted to the mar
row area of single city, loto Van
Ness street, San Francisco; but it
was Of unparalleled violence and
malignity. Early one evening the
Van Ness street family was quietly
seated around the social centretable,
the father explaining to a casual
Eastern visitor the unequaled beau
ties Of the Californian climate, and
the mother hushing her baby by
reading in a monotonous murmur
the report Of the days sale of min
ing stock. Suddenlya loud patter-
ing was heard on the roof, mingled
with the last despairing cry of some
strong tom-cat in his agony. The
pattering and the cries increased, and
shower of heavy objects fell from
the caves aud ratified on the pave
ment below. The whole family
rushed to the front-piazza, and by
the increasing light of the full moon
behold scores OF. eats pouring from
the roof. Cats of all sizes and col
ors were sliding over the shingles
aud turning wild semersanlts in the
air. Al one moment a gigantic tom
cat would clutch at the pitiless gut
ter-pipe, and failing to break his
fall, would shoot, meteer-hke, with
utstretched tail, through the as
tonished night and impale himself
on the iron spikes of the front fence.
At another moment staid tortoise
shellItabby, of uptarnished reputa-
ton, would make the fatal plunge, /
uttering blasphenous aud blood
eurdling yells until sbe, Drained her
self on TIE brick pavement. The
Mortified family fled to the cellar
where they passed the night in de-
noqncipg the Weather Bureau, in |
vainly attempting to convince their |
Eastern guest that an occasional cat
shower in no way detraeted from the |
unequaled excellence Of the Calitor-
MIA climate, and in searching pock- |
ct New Testament for the account !
of the destruction of Sodom and |
Gomorrah. The shower did not last |
more than fifteen minutes, although |
it sprinkled cats at intervals until |
morning. When daylight came,
every fence-spike was ornamented |
with an implied cat, and the yard /
was so thiekly strewn with the dead |
and wounded that an experienced |
meteorologist, who subsequently, in
vestigated the affair, reported that
at least eight inches of cats must
have fallen during the night. The
theory put forth by this skeptical
man of science in order to account
for the shower hardly needs to be
refused. He invented a small boy,
whom he accused of greasing the
roof with imaginary butter, which
caused some hundreds of cats, as
sembled on the ridge-pole with a
view to singing the praises of love
and mice, to lose their footing. In
asmuch as he failed to produce eth
er the boy or the butter, and also
failed to explain how a boy could
keep his footing on creased roof,
where the most skillful cat, even
with the aid of four feet and full
set of claws, could not maintain
position, we can only pity the weak
ness. and despise the effrontery of
the scientific skeptic.
1t is sufficiently evident that this
Californian cat shower is the last of
the kind which a free and proud
people can permit. We have now
had showers of flesh, fish, mosqui-
toes, and cats, and unless prompt
measures are taken we shall present.
ly be pelted with puppies and de-
luged with pitchforks. Men and
brethren, shall these things be? Are
we to silently permit the hands of
the weather-clock to betuFned back,
and our customary showers Of water
to be superseded bYr showers of un-
desirable animals9 Delay is danger
ous.s While. we are yet speaking a
wave of atmospheric cats may be
approaching us fromithe Gulf5 light
showers of swasps and mosquitoes
may be about to descend npon the
New England and Middle States,
and an area of cosmical pigs may be
threatening the region of the lakes