The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-01-20

and the hind end will follow ia due or
der.
If its public policy to encourage mar
rage why don't they send Us their mon
ey.
Those getting ready to marry now
speak eff the elergymen as the hitching
posts
The small amount OF money paid for
cotton goes wonderfully against the
grain.
A vice grasps and holds its victim for
tools that are ready whetted for the exc
Gution.
1t is only matter of time ladies-in
eternity you will have no chance 60 mar
~, remember.
lie told US to get money-honestly If
We could; but to get money We shall
do no such thing
We promise the poets who wish to
write for the BULLETIN that it will come
II they enclose subscription price.
A wife and six children are the seven
reasons pastor gave for abruptly quit
ting an afeetionate flock.
We advise oUr brethren to postpone
the nuptals at least until the mania for
divorce suits among the sisters has sub
sided
We have graded the Memphis &
Knoxville narrow-gauge railroad and
propose during the spring rains to let
her spread herself
Why are the young people Of Bolivar
like New Yorkers2 Because they leave
the straight and narrow path to walk in
the Broadway.
How would you ike to rIde on a train
on the narrow-gauge that runs fast
enough to turn heels overhead and catch
on its feet-a calf.
The most popular belle is the young
lady that can make the shortest turn
with the longest trail. SMenee, you
know
Trying to do busine without adver-
tlslng is like trying to kiss a pretty girl
10 the dark-you may know what you
are aiming to do, but nobody else does.
There is young man in this city that
says the only time his father ever whip
ped him was for telling the truth We
think it cured him
He processes to be ad vertising a pat
ent bridie-bit We cannnt do better
than put good bit on our horse, nor
worse than let fellow put one on US.
The nerve which never relaxes, the
eye which never blenches, the thought
which meyer wanders-these are the
masters ofvictoFy.
A Grand Junction ] Try of inquest, who
had a grave prepared for a dead body
found near that city sometime since,
have called off the hounds and returned a
verdict of " egg-Rog
They are only five; and only four Of
these have her rings and pictures As
our artists are few and our diamonds
scarce, she will doubtless decide to pay
the fifth lad off in real coin.
On seeing Bolivar lady defeat large
dog in a hand to hand conflict, the other
day, the neighbors were greatly surpris-
ed, but her husband remarked, That's
nothing, that woman could hex the
ID"
The boys are in search of the girl that
put on style with less than twenty eight
yards Of cloth in one dress skirt DONE
think she can be found within our limits.
"Some day in the distant future we
will be laid away to rest and eatnip
planted DER our graves to hide the spet.
Why not all we men folks get married
that we may have a wife to piaat the cat
MP.
short time since one Of the magis-
trates of this county were sent for to
marry couple Of color On approach
ing, he remarked, as usual, please rise"
the man idgeted about in his cha If, and
said, We've usually sot
The kind of wives now in demand are
those that know how to danced anee
into the kitchen and get breakfast. Hur-
rY % girls and learn 1t, or you will be
TOO late for the next set
That the ladies are more anxious than
the men to marry, is substantiated BIZ
she fact that there were thirty-tsgo pro-
posals of marriage made on their mart
during the reign of leap-year fever IN
this city, and all of them supposed 10
have been made with an eye to business.
We call attention to the card Of Mr.
4. J Switzerland, agent for the Wheelsr
n Wilson sewing machines. to be found
in another column He has on hand a
lot of improved machines that surpasses
anythin of the kind we have ever seen.
Call and see him
One of our clerks who !uuderstands his
biz, and is under grave apprehensious
and misgivings from having read "a
poem. cart thou all made up, or noY' on
seeing his Tabitha gramble ent dash
ing shine around the corner, gazes and
gasps,
"TWinkle, twinkle, little star.
How Wpnder what you are