Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1876-09-16
COurier-JOurna! Rife Balls.

w u
Bcecher having disposed of The sheep.
cried out, Where are the goats
Where nrr tht. goats" when a drunken
fellow in the con nyrcya,ion, niSrakine
the services for Il theatrical perform
aEcc, and a little confused, rose and
said: Rather n the show shouldn't
go on, Iii be one y the goats myself"
Thus Fitzpatrick. who, preicrring 10
sacrifice himself To save Rutherford
t., wrote: ~ hloodv-shirt canpaign
with money, and Indiana is saf,.."
L at WAS not the way uf the Conve-
n .ntcr'. With them was li;llc sui
phur for friction, and little oatmeal
for porridge. aud ihc devil take the
hindmost. The puritan wcrid has
progressed apace.
p The Radical party Of the North Judge
the white people Of The South bv the
same rule that the Scotch ,choolmast
cr applied to one of his scholars, who.
for some hoyiSh mi>dccd, had received
sound iiogging, and as best he could
WAS digeSting over a sccming if not
real devotion to his lesson in hand.
The old dominic watched him with
lowering brow for while and then
called him up 10 his desk: What
are yc ihinkin' of jamie" was the
stern inquiry. "l'm ,hnkin' OF tho
multiplication table, sir, was the trem-
bling reply. Its lie We rascal"
shouted the old man, eyer cen
thinkin' what domnc auld william
am )" and Of Course be logged him
again.
! Ali things in this life have a pur-
pose. mcaning, and are for good.
I When Ben. Butler did the world tho
mischief, and put himself to ihc
trouble, Of being born into it, the devil
had deep design to advance
thing ilsel' highly complimentary to
the rest of mankind That design
was to disgrace and punish Ma~sa-
chusetts. The disgrace and punish
ment are not yet complete, and there
fore we must regard Ben's congress
ional aspirations as promising. To
say the least of them. Satan will
surely think twice before he allows
! the defeat of man of his metal.
What does Hayes dream of? 4
soft thing on velvet Wha, does
Wheeler dream of? y sweet thing
in satin. What does Grant dream of
His old place at the head of the army.
What does Morton dream of? 4
bloody shirt campaign with money
What docs Fitzpatrick dream of
Curses not loud but deep, and kicks
all the way from Indiana to New
Jersey.
The Camden Record saws "the
Courier Journal charges that Govern
or Hayes is SO penurious and grasp
ing after wealth that he would chase
mosquito through a ten-mic swamp
for his hide and tallow. A mighty
snail argument, that" Yes, but it
is about o mighty small man, you
know.
The exhibition of the bloody shit
by Morton is not altogether born Of
malice. "One mai! drives out another,
It's said" and so the stain of blood
upon the savage Senator's under
garment serves to hide other and
dirtier stains. Give the devil his due,
if he is Radical.
Reform" saws Senat~r Morton.
is the last resort of Democratic
scoundrels." A fellow whose last
resort is TO be an old-fashioned hell,
with none Of the modern improve
ments, ought to be ashamed to tala
about the last resort Of other people.
General Lew. Wallace declares that
he was so badly deceived bv the Dem
ocra,ic party that his eyes were not
opened for five years. This is little
singular. The eyes Of the common
run of puppies are opened in almost
as many days.
An insurrectinn bruke out between
two Red Bank, n j., editors the other
day, during which one of them cow
hided the ether. "OCe of them"
ought TO have been ashamed of him
self, but lie probably wasn't as much
so as "tbe other"
"Governor Hayes" the CONNER
cial says. has declared for one term
only" Yes, and his friend Grants
blue coats will have to be mighty
active with their bayoncts at the
South. or he won't get even that
These Eastern chaps have always
had bad luck in the West But who
would have thought tie thing would
have dropped on Fitzpatrick? All at
once, and SO sudden, too.
They haven't yet charged Governor
Tilden with assault and battery on
his Observation-Disclosures. But
then this is progressive age.
We do commiserate Bristow. Mere.
" another instance of the unhappy
gentleman who found himself between
hell and the ironworks.
"Don Cameron is not married."
says Roc hester paper. Then there
is at least one woman who has the
best of causes to thank heaven.
"Thy gentleness hath made thee
great" as the Republican party said
to Uncle Sam whilst picking his
pocket.