The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-10-21
Mr.. Smiths boy.

mr' onllCn 3 D0y.
A family named Smith has recent,
moved to Germantown, and Mr.. Brown
boy on Saturday leaned over the fenc,
and gave to our reporter his impression
OF Mr.. Smith's boy lad about IA year
old:
eyes, me and him are well acquainted
now; he knows more'n do, and he's hat
more experience. Bill says his father
used to be q rob5er (Smith, by the way
is deacon in the Presbyterian Church
and very excellent lawyer. and he ha.
had s10,OO0.00O in gold buried in hi
cellar along with q. whole lot oil human
bones, people he's killed. And he say.
his father is conjurer, and that ht
makes all the earthquakes that happen,
any where in the world. The old mani
come home at night. after there's been an
earthquake, all covered with sweat and SC
tired that he can't hardly stand, Bill says
it's such hard work.
And Bill told me that once when q
man game around there trying to sell
lightning rods, his father got mad and eat
him right up, and he takes bite out oil
every one ho comes across, That's what
Bill told me. That all l know about
it. And he told me that once he used
to have dog, one these little kind Of
dogs, and he was flying his kite, and Just
for fun he tied the string on to his dogs
tail, And then the wind struck her and
his dog went a booming down the street,
with his hind legs in the air for about q
mile, when the kite began OF sudden to
go mp, and in about minute the dog
was fifteen miles high, and commanding
a view Of California, and Egypt, and Osh.
kosh, 1 think Bill said. He came down,
anyhow, in Brazil, and Bill said he swum
all the way homa in the Atlantic ocean,
and when he landed his legs were nibbed
off by sharks.
L wish father'd buy me dog, SOS
could send him up that way. But l
never have ne luck. Bill said that where
he used to live he went out on tho roof
one day, to fly his kite, and he sat on
the chimblJ to give her plenty of room
and, vile sitting there thinking about
nothing, the old man put keg of pow.
der down below in the fireplace to clean
the SCOT out of the chimbly. And when
he touched her off, Bill was blowed over
against the Baptist church steeple, and
he landed on the wcathercock, with his
pants torn, and they couldn't get him
down for three days, so he hung there,
going round and round with the wind,
and he lived by eating the crows that
came and sat on him, because they
thought he was made of sheet iron, and
put there on purpose.
He's had moIe fun than enough. He
was telling me the other day about
sausage.stuffer his brother invented. 1t
was machine that worked with q tread.
le and Bill said the way they did in
the fall was to fix it on the hogs back,
and connect tho trcadle with string, and
then the hog'd work tho treadle and keep
on running it up and down until the ma.
chine cut the hog all up fno and showed
tho meat into the skins. Bill said his
brother called it Every Hog His Own
Stuffer,' and it worked splendid. But |
do know. Pears to me's if there couldn't
be no such machine like that. But any.
way Bill said SO.
And he told me about an uncle of his
out 10 Australia, who was ct by big
oyster once, and when he got inside he
stayed there until he'd ct the oyster
Then he split the shells open and took
half one for boat, and he sailed along
until he met sea serpent. and he killed
it and drawed of its skin, and when he
gnt home he sold it to an engine company
Tor hose, for forty thousand dollars, to
put out 6rea with. Bill said this was
actually SO. because he could show me a ,
nan that used to belong to the engine
company. | wish father'd let me 20
'ut to find a sea-serpent like that but
10 don't let me have chance to distip.
yuish myself.
Bill was saying, only yesterday, that
he Indians caught him once and drove
eleven railroad spikes through his stom.
lch and cut of his scalp and never hurt
linn bit. He said he got away by the
laughter of the chief snaking him out
# the wigwam and lending him horse.
Bill says she was in love with him, and
when asked him 10 Let me sec tho holes
where they drove in them spikes, he said
le darsn't take Of his clothes or he'd bleed
% death. lie said his own father didn't
snow it, because Bill was afraid il might
worry him.
And Bill told me they wasn't going to
get him to go to Sunday School. He
'ays his father has brass idol that he
Keeps in the garrett, and Bill says he's
made up his mind to 60 naked, and car
y tomahawk and bow and arrow, as
loon as the warm weather comes. And
% prove it to me, he says his father has
his town underlaid with nitro glyceriuc,
md as soon as he gets ready he's going
% blow the old thing out, and bust her
Up, let her rip and demolish her. He
aid so down at the dam and told me not
% tell anybody, but I thought there'd
'e no harm in telling you.
And now believe must be a 90.
ng. | hear Bill a.whistling. Maybe
he's got something else to tell"