davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
National Republican., 1876-10-20
IndisputabIe.

The greatest remedy of modern times, for
the immediate alienation of pain and positive
quick cure, is without doubt, Benson's capcine
porous plastcrs. The public appreciates arti-
cles of true merit. Thousands of physi-
clans and druggists speak in glowing terms of
their great curative properties, who know
them obe superior to any other known medicine.
and who unhesitatingly recommend them from
honest motives. TheF cure chronic and local
diseases which other porous plasters simplyre.
ieve. Rheumatism, neuralgia, severe and
continuous aches and pains, pleurisy, lunbago,
sciatics, and all diseases in which porous
plasterc have been valued, are by Renson's
capcine porous plaster instantly relieved and
quickly cured. Their reputation is without a
parallel in the history of true medicine; their
action is more powerful than electricity, and
Jet they are purely vegetable and contain no
mineral or metallic poisous Try them and
you will not be deceived. Price p cents.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Washiuston Driving Park.

Maj. F. P. Hill, proprietor of the Washing
ton driving park, has made arrangement to
have the queen of the turf, Goldsmith Maid,
to open his fall meeting by trotting next Tues
day for special purse of $4,000, to beat her
time of 2:14. This will be followed by four
days trotting by some Of the best horses in
the country, comprising Lady Maud, Nettie,
Adelaide and Huntress, in the free for all and
others.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
REVOLUTION IN CLOTHING.
Imposition Hated, Opposition Courted, Comr
fifiop naHad

Imposition Hated, Opposition Courted, Compe-
tition Defed
In clothing Of the finest and best make in the
District. Our stock of clothing is all of this
seasons manufacture. The piece goods
bought direct from manufacturers, and made
for US exclusively. Every article warranted
shrunk. Fit and satisfaction guaranteed or
money refunded. Bear in mind that we have
no old stock that has accumulated for years
past, like some other houses in this city which
have tremendous stocks of goods, the major
ity of which has been carried over from year
to year, repressed and placed among goods of
this seasons manufacture.
Below we enumerate some few of our goods
National Republican., 1876-10-20

~ great nerve conQueror, cures epileptic fits,
convuisions, spssms, st. Vitus dance and all ner-
vous diseases; the only known positive remedy for
epileptic fits. 1t has been tested by thousands and
has never been known to fail in single case Trial
package free. Enclose stamp for circular, giving
evidence of cures. Address, DR.. b. A. RICHMOND.
Box 74l, st. Joseph. No. no29-tf
National Republican., 1876-10-20

nR. A. PRATT, DENTIST, HAS RE
" moved TO the northwest corner Of Seventh and
streets, over Crandall's bookstore, where he viii
public. Je2-H
National Republican., 1876-10-20

Brown Paper Shells for breech-loaders, u, $1.lo,
S1 and u. 80 per hundred, 10 and II gauges wads, Is
10 co cents per powaer ~ cents 10 81 IS per h.
Eley's caps, all kinds; New York shot and cunning
materials. at REMINGTON'S ARMS AGENCY,
52l Seventh street, opposite Post Office. se26-lm
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Tie Alexandria HayeI and whssler Club

There will be a Republican mass meeting
held by the above club in Alexan lria this
evening, on which occasion the so-caIled
eolOred Democrats Will have joint discussion
with Messrs. Howard L. Smith, K. II Mitchell
and Wm. c. Chase. The citizens are cordially
invited to be present. A lively time is antici-
rated.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
E. NCB. TiMoNEY, Agent,
ocI2-tf sos st -eet northwest.
~To THE sTocKHoLDERs OF

I" THE METROPOLIS SAVINGS BANK
OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA.
The annual election of nine trustees of the Metrop-
oils Savings Bank of the District OF Columbia wifi
be held at the bank the of Seventh street
and Louisiana avenue, in Washington city, ID. c.,
on MONDAY, November 6, 1s76, between the hours
OF IL O'Clock q. and o'clock p. m. of said day.
The report Of the committee on the transactions OF
the bank for the second year will be read at o'clock
p. m. of the same day.
The stockholders also requested to meet at the
bank on the same day, between the hours of IL
O'Clock Q. m. and O'Clock p. M, to vote on the
proposition TO increase the capital stock the bank
10 one hundred thousand dollars, 600, ,000)
SAMUEL NORMENT, President,
n. ACKER, Vice President.
JAS. y. EDWARDS, Secretary,
w. n. CLAGETT,
G. r. THOMPSON,
JAMES l.. BARBOUR.
HENRY STRASBURGER,
JOHN II. GODDARD,
+. H. WARNER,
oc7-s&Tutd Trustees.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Something New,

Smokers are highly pleased with the new
brand of Herbe de Ia Refine Cigarettes aud
Smoking Tobacco. Those goods are superior
TO any in the market. The favor is so delight
ful and pleasant that we can recommend all to
smoke them.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
~e PHONOGRAPHY.-INSTI

~ tiOn in this remunerative as well as time and
labor saving art given in both the corresponding
and advanced reporting styles, by experienced
IhonOgrapher. students either In classes sepa-
rately, as preferred. FOR terms, &C., address or
call on ''PhOnographCr,' Goo Sixth street north-
west, between $3.50 and p. IN. se26'tf
National Republican., 1876-10-20

hBeDR. ]. II. JOHNSON, OF ALEX.
~ andria, Va, offers his professional services
as Surgeon, Physician and Oculist to the citizens Of
the District OF Columbia.
ONCE, No. l4l Pennsylvania avenue, between
Willard hotel and the Owen house.
Once hours from 10 a. m. to p m. my2S-n
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Washington Driving Park,
October "a, 25, 26 and -.

Programme
For the District and Virginia horses:
First Day, October 2+Class 2:37; purse,
500; $50 to LIST, $25 to ID, SIS to Sd and $40
to 4th.
Second Dav-Free for all, barring Looner;
purse, 500; SO to list, $25 to ID, SIS to Sd,
$40 to 4th.
Third Day-Class 400; purse, $50; $50 to
LIST, $l5to ID, $40 to Sd, IS to 4th.
Fourth Day-Purse, $50, for five-year-olds
and under; $50 to 1st, SIS to I'd, SO to Sd, IS
to 4th.
Saturday, October 2l, and should be made
with the secretary, James s. Shedd, fremont
House. We reserve the right to place races
should any for the above not fill.
J. S. SHEDD, Secretary.
F. P. HILL, Proprietor.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

warranted TO heat rooms above in the oldest
weather: elegant baker and every way reliable
For sale by HI. Gregory, 634 Pennsylvania
avenue,
National Republican., 1876-10-20
The Celebrated
A Laree Assortment NJ ovsrroats

Nichols wrought-iron furnace, gas-tight and
heat equal to steam, for sale by II. l. Gregory,
G34 Pennsylvania avenue.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Empire Heating Range,

at s24. They are made from the famous
LaIerton coatings. A. SAKs u Co.,
SIC Seventh street
National Republican., 1876-10-20

Other Discomforts from Catarrh.
In many cases the nose is stopped up, some
times on one side, sometimes on the other,
and often on both, giving rise to disagreeable
"stutfy' sensation in the head, accompanied
by occasional violent and prolonged paroxysms
Of sneezing. Again, distressing feeling of
fullness or compression is experienced above
and between the eyes, or pain manifests itself
in the face, forehead or temples, or on the top
or back of the head, sometimes of so severe a
character that it is mistaken for neuralgia
The sense OF smell is generally blunted or en-
tirely lost, and taste may become similarly
affected.
No. 7S2 Tenth street, daily, between the hours
OF and O'Clock. Consultation and exami-
nation free.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
SurnriSinp
Bows S1its.

the e overcoat we sell.
EIsEMAN Bros,
Cor. of Seventh and streets.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

HOUSES AND FARMS FOR SALE.-SEV.
IL eral two-story HOUSES and COTTAGES -
monthly payments. Valuable Building LOTS
on easy terms. Also, FARMS in the District,
Maryland and VirginiA for Sale or exchange. -
APPLETON p. CLARK,
nhl5-WFAu 706 street northwest.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

for ss-four different styles-at
a. sTRAus', IOI1 PENNSYLVANIA avenue.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Iecture Postpoued.

WASHINGTON, CITY, Friday, Oct y, 1876.
To the Editor Of TIE National Republican:
SIR: Suffer ME to announce through your
columns that the lecture advertised in Lin
coin hall to night by me is deferred until after
the election in November.
Respectfully yours, JOHN TYLER, JR.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Our SO 0vercoats,


the best in the city for the price.
I. HAMBURGER 4 SON,
Gl5 Pennsylvania avenue.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
.ASSESsoR,S aeIUCE

hEDASSESBOR'SO OFFICE.
~ WASHINGTON, d. c., Sept. S, 1876.
Notice is hereby given that the Board OF Asses
will hold daily sessions from 10 O'Clock
2oclock p from the I'd to the 10th day of Octo-
her, 1916, inclusive. for the purpose of hearing and
determining any and all appeals from the valuation
made by them or their predecessors in office.
q. A. BOHRER,
oc6-td President Board OF Assessors,
National Republican., 1876-10-20
MEDICAL.

nREAT MEDICAL BOOK AND SE-S0
" CRETS
Address st. Joseph Medical Institute, St. $1
Joseph. Mo- no2s-1y esAAX
National Republican., 1876-10-20

Sc, IS, $40, sl2, SIS, SIS, $50 and s25, at
A. STRAUs',
l0l1 Pennsylvania avenue, between Tenth
and Eleventh streets.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
By Duncanson Bros:

s..
At 4:3O o'clock p. m p, lot 81, in square No.
G42, on Half street west, between F and 6
streets south.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

EIsENIAN Bros,
Cor. Of Seventh and Z streets.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

:" T. TURNER CO., WHOLESALE
wv. PROVISION MERCHANTs; Beef Pork,
Bacon, Lard, Butter, Cheese. Canned Goods &C.,
of first quality only. Beef and Pork put up in
proper packages for home and foreign markets,
Particular attention given to War and Navy De-
partment requirements in our line. No. l4o2 Penn
sylyania avenue au2s-ly
National Republican., 1876-10-20

OVercoats from 50 to S65. Boys and Chill
dren's OVercoats in endless variety.
KATZENsTEIN,
The Fashion BILE Clothier,
80 Seventh street, near Pennsylvania ave.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
rHE REAL ESTATE LOAN AND TUUSfCoNPLyY

OF W tV4N' y. O't
No. sos Seventh ST., tunder Second National Bank.)
JOHN b. ARCHER, j. q. McKELDEN,
President. Treasurer.
Money to loan in sums TO suit on nrst-class real
estate located in the District of Columbia. Titles
and values guaranteed BY the company. Persons
having money to loan or Invest VIII md nrst-class
applications FOR loans and real estate notes for sale
by applying At the companyis ONCE. jyR-ly
National Republican., 1876-10-20
~ILLINOIsIANs AND OTHERS,

rs ATTENTION! The Illinois Republican
Association has made arran gements for round-trip
tickets the railroads 10 the following points:
Chicago Peoria, ST. Louis, Burlington and Kcokuk.
emitting party to tickercan be obtained of the
committee at LIE Droit building, room 9, after
O'Clock every evening. -
A. J. WHITAKER,
seq Chairman Committee.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
ADJUSTMENTS, &C.
lSPEClal DPaslTIC NOTICE.

On Monday next ar entirely new .
Comedy, which has 5oen produced
with prodigtous success In Paris as
ssLa Process yeauradleuS., InLondon
as ssTHE GREAT DIVORCE CAsE,n
and I'm New York at yaIIaek's as
"FORBIDDEN viii be given
I'm this city with east OF characters
worthy of the play, under the title of
WANTED, A DFVoRcE.n
Mr.. Louis L. Jemes, justly pro.
nouneed the peer ofNr. Lester Wal.
lack or Mr. e. A. Sothern, viii sustain
the leading light comedy part played
i'm London by Charles wyndham. Mrs
Germon will assume Gsst of Madame
Lafguiser, ssThe Moth er-En- Law, In
the comedy many OF tIac yieissftudes
ofHusband, Wife and 'gother-fn- law
are depicted with ezgui5ite humor
and q resfstless comic effect
The Scenery Will ava be special, she
Costumes elegant and tRe Mounting
superb.
Seats can now be secured.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

new and attractive styles.
A.SAKs & Co., SIC Seventh street.
National Republican., 1876-10-20

WE OFFER-
The largest stock.
We OFFER
The greatest variety.
We OFFER
The choicest goods.
We GFFER-
Only reliable goods.
4. SARs Il Co., BIG Seventh street.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
SPORTSMEN.

5. GOLUSTEIS h CO.,
Liberal advances made on loan or on commission
for any time desired ON very reasonable terms.
ETO sPORTsnEN.
Brown Paper Shells for breech-loaders, q, N.1o,
10 CO cents per box: powGer 10 cents 10 d IS per ib
Es al al kRfS ETT YSTk akas RGt and tgssRNR3s
a2l Seventh street, opposite Post ONCE. se26-lm
re PHONOGRAPHY.-
~ tiOn in this remuneratve as well as time and
labor saving art given in both the corresponding
honOgraphSr 10 students either In I classes sepat
rsfffiy as PTeferreG FSr terms &C. address or
west, between $3.50 and p. IN. se26'u
Commissions, spssms, st. Vitus dance and ali ner.
I Il Sy .Sd
has never been known to fail In single case. Trial
evidence Of cures. Address, DR.. =. A. RICHMOND.
"DR. ]. B. JOHNSON, OF ALEX.
- andria, Va, offers his professional services
he 6f to the citizens OF
oGice,. No: ilI Pennsylvsni. avenue, between
Once hours from 10 a. m. to 4p. m. my2s-u
r#OFFICE WASHINGTON BRICK
NMAcHEE G9MPANY ES lS n FEM Nm
holders OF this company the election OF trustees
D be held at h See Of the ER
p: m; U,'UOs' ~ -tO LEWIS RGLEFHaSE,O i; y O'A
sez0-W&d Secretary.
~PREsCRIPTIONs PREPARED
Ninth streets, at moderate prices. seps, II
NFRENCH, ENGLISH AND DO.
Coughlln's Temple Drug Store. seps-tf
HUMPHREY,S SPECIFICS,
'Gls .spstF s 'mPle Drug Store and Ninth streets
~REMEMBER JUSTH's OLD
ing; Boots, Shoes, Ss, ss s:iaiE !sash5 PFess'
Seventh streets northwest. Note by mail promptly
tFe6 PER SET, EITHER JAW, by
~ DIR. A. N. Q. weisenborn, Dentist, 4o5 Four
PRICE anG dI2f
r~TEETH es PER SET, EITHER
les Of Dental surgery, and Z: me Rush Medlesl
Her Of y. Extracting chiidfen's teeth, Is cents.
~LEGAL AND OTHER BRIEFS
he fFhnE6 j6b EaE sHGGsSr SS
E-wKAPPINs PAPER FOB SALE
rs At this onice.
F H oL Il H's
Fever and Ague and Liver Paa l
CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE, SIMPLY BY
ABSORPTION. Il
The Rest Liver Regulator I'm the world
The only true cure for and preventive OF malaria
Lfvsr Complaint, yapadfcs,
fsfIo,S Fever. Sea. .Siekness,
Ssuralgid, BiliOrs Disorders, &c, Dc.
None genuine without the Trade Marx and sigma
ture OF the Inventor on the wrapper. i
Az SGgsg;t for T. r.; certificates read
wM. r. KIDDER q co.,
.r.----r SOLE PRoPRIEToRs.
No. 50 John street, New York.
Sent BY mail on seceipt fs2. jes-FMwsm
NEW STORE!
3 NEW GOoDs!l
s1S and fully for
WALL PAPERS
ever exhibited in this city, and prices
Lower Than Any other House I'm
Washington.
Window Shades, 0ilcl0th, Bedding, Bed
Comforts, Blankets, &C., &c.
l.. +. CLARK q SONS.
ncQ.ff 1Ifa street U
National Republican., 1876-10-20
~LOAN OFFICE AND COMMIs.

The Oldest and most reliable in the city.
). GOLUSTEIS h CO.,
Corner Tenth and ID streets.
Liberal advances made on loan commission
for any time desired on very reasonable terms.
sc27-u
National Republican., 1876-10-20

A LNWICK' FEMALE SEMINARY.
The duties OF this Institution Will be resumed I'd.
w on FRIDAY. September Is. For Circulars sd-
dress NJ. A. TYSON & SISTERS, Contee's post
office, Md, b. andO X. X. au9-2m
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Tasty Children,s oyarcoats.

Tasty Children's 0vercoats,
new styles, opened to-day.
A. SAKs * Co., SIG Seventh street.
CAPE OATS and ulsters for children.
EIsEMAN Bros,
Cor. of Seventh and streets.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
Elegant satin.Lined oYereoats

$40 overcoat surpasses them all.
National Republican., 1876-10-20
0vercoats,
LLction Sale To-da'

the largest and best selected stock in the city.
EIsEMAN BROS,
Cor of Seventh and Z streets
National Republican., 1876-10-20
V1O DAY AT HOME. AGENTS
@lH wanted. Outnt and terms free. TRUE q
CO., Augusta, Maine, mh3-ly &

SECoNDHANDCLOTH WANTED AND
y the HIGHEST CASH PRICES PAID. In con-
sequence Of the large sales made daily, am in
kinds OF GENTIEMEN's, BOYS, AND LA
DIES, ,s GARMENTTS, ~ T, HATs, ,rR, B90Ts, SHOES,
very highest cash prices. By calling or addressing
HERZO9,
auR25-H el5 ID street northwest. /
National Republican., 1876-10-20
WANTS.

WANTS.
-NONUN~~~~NONONINJNNN JNNN1N1OINIOo~IN1NIN~JN.N-
"ANTED.-PARTIES HAVING HOUSES
al,u Kooms to rent, furnished or unfurnished,
or those wishing to rent respectfully requested
10 call and examine our business chances. The
patronage of the public Is respectfully solicited
Apply at the Washington Intelligence Onlce, 93i
street northwest, first door upstairs.
se2s-tf WM. II. JONES co. f.
, 1876-09-22

CONVENIENT SMoKE-HoUsE.-Asm smoke
house built so as to prevent the admis-
sion of light, and at the same time in
sure ventilation and degree of GOODNESS
so that the meat will not mould, may be
had by placing it under the shade of q
spreading tree. It should be built of
brick, with an ample hue on tap pro-
tected with blinds at the sides, and q
wire gauze at the bottom, to prevent
the admission of insects, the gauze to
be removed when smoking the meat
Another hue at the bottom protected
with gauze allows the admission of air.
Thus the house may be kept cool and
well ventilated, and by throwing it en-
tirely open occasionally at night, when
dry, meat may be kept perfectly for a
long time. This smoke-house may be
used for q variety of purposes, as for
the keeping of ashes in districts where
wood is used for fuel.
, 1876-09-22

A FRENCH FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
A French Florence Nightingale has Just
died at the age of sixty-eight. " Sister
Martha, known in the armies of the
Crimea and of Italy as the f" little
mother" took the VOWS Of the Sisters
of Charity at an early age. She braved
the cholera in the hospitals at Lyons;
battle, fever and dysentery had no ter
rors for her through the long struggle
before Sebastopol; in Italy she was at
the head of an ambulance corps; in 1860
she received the Cross Of the Legion
from the Empress Eugene in the chol-
era hospital at Amiens, and during the
siege of Paris she was one of the most
active in the ambulance corps.
, 1876-09-22
AaR1cunruRr M zee UH1rrp

AGRICULTURE IN THE UNITED STATES.
The great occupation in the United
States is that Of agriculture. There are
1884 ,299 farmers, most of whom own
the land they till; and the whole num-
Der of people employed in agricultural
pursuits is :, 1922, All, or 1896 per cent.
of the whole population. In England
and Wales the percentage is 7.30. In
Russia Sc per cent. of the population
are engaged in agriculture; in Italy, n;
in Sweden, II; in Belgium, 81; in
France, 80; in Prussia, 40; in Austria,
%; in Spain, 25; and in Holland, 16 per
cent.
, 1876-09-22
Jefferson on Farming.

Young men, whatever may be your
choice of future occupation, whatever
calling or profession you may select.
there is certainly none more honorable
than that of a farmer. The patriarch of
the fields, as he sits beside his cottage
door when his daily toll is over, feels an
inward calm never known in the halls of
pride. His labor yields him unpurchas-
able health andrepose. have observed
with more grief than 1 can express, the
visible tokens which appear in all direc-
tons OF growing disposition to avoid
agricultural pursuits, and to rush into
some Of the overcrowded professions,
because corrupt and debasing fashion
has thrown around them the tinsel of
imaginary respectability. Hence the far
mer, instead of preparing his child to
follow in the path of usefulness himself
has trod, educates him for a sloth; labor
IS considered vulgar, to work is ungen-
teel, the iack-plane is less respectable
than the lawyers green bag, the handles
OF the plough less dignifed than the
yard-stick. Unfortunate infatuation
How melancholy is this delusion; which,
unless it. be checked by a wholesome re-
form IN puDllc opinion, VIII cover our
country with rack and ruinl This state
of things is striking at the foundation
of our national greatness: it is upon ag-
riculture that we mainly depend for our
continued prosperity; and dark and evil
will be the day when it falls into disre-
pute. What other pursuit offers so sure
guarantee of an honest independence,
comfortable support for dependent
family? Where else can we look but to
the productions of the soil for safety of
investment and for ample return? In
commercial speculation all is chance and
uncertainty, change and fuctuation, rise
and fall. In the learned professions
scarcely one in ten makes enough to COW
er his incidental expenses. How, then,
are we to account for this fatal misdirec-
ton of public opinion? The cultiva-
tors of the earth are the most valuable.
They are the most independent, the
most virtuous, and they are tied to their ,
country, and welded to its liberty and
interests by the most lasting bonds.
, 1876-09-22

LANGUAGE OF FINGER RINas.-In case
OF gentleman wishing to marry-lite-
rally In the market with his heart-he
wears plain or chased gold ring upon
the tirst finger of the left Tor heart) hand.
When success attends his suit, and he
Is Is actually engaged, the ring passes to
tne second finger. After marriage it
passes to the third finger.
II, however, the gent desires to tell the
lair ones that he not only is not "in the
market" but he does not design to mar
at all, he wears the signet upon his
mule finger, and all ladies may under
stand that he is out of their reach.
With the fair sex the claws of the
ring" are:
a plain or chased ring ON the little fin
ger Of the right hand implies "not en-
gagged, or in palmer words, "ready for
proposals, sealed or otherwise"
:. when engaged, the ring passes to the
4rSt finger of the left hand"
when married the third finger re-
ceives it.
II the fair one proposes to defy all
nege to her heart, she places the rings
on her first and fourth finger-one on
zen, like two charms to keep away the
MImpter. 1t is somewhat singular that
ms disposition of rings is rare.-Pas-
sac (N.J.) lem.
, 1876-09-22

RUINm.-A man who was not clever
at conundrums, in attempting to get off
one at a tea party at his house the other
evening, became exceedingly mixed.
He intended to ask the old question
4" Why is a woman like iyy?" the famil-
lar but gallant answer to which is
!" Because, the more you're ruined the
closer she clings." But he put it:
"Why is ivy like q woman?" which
none of the ladies could tell, and SO the
unfortunate man told them himself that
it was " because the closer it clings the
more you're ruined"
, 1876-09-22

A BLIND G1RL's WoRK.-A blind
Swiss girl, who is an adept at fine nee-
dlework, recently sent to the Emperor
of Germany a table cover exquisitely
worked with her own hands, and to
avoid the appearance of having sent the
present in expectation of getting some
thing in return, she omitted her ad-
dress, and simply signed herself +" A
Blind Girl in Switzerland. The old
monarch was so pleased with the gift,
and the manner of sending it, that he
caused the German Minister in Switzer-
land to ascertain the girls name and ad-
dress, whereupon he sent her valuable
brooch and an autograph letter of
thanks.
, 1876-09-22

THOUGHT HE WAS A SEcoND.-A
young Partisan, noted for his grace and
readiness as second in numerous duels,
was asked by friend to accompany him
to the Mayors Office to afix his sigma
ture as a witness to the matrimonial reg
istry. He consented, but when the
scene was reached, forgot himself. Just
as the Mayor was ready for the last for
malities, he broke out: Gentlemen,
cannot this affair be arranged? Is there
no way of preventing this sad occur
renee :" Imagine the feelings Of the
godfathers and godmothers.
, 1876-09-22

"You come well recommended. I
suppose?" said a gentleman to a bow
who wanted an easy place. "Oh, yes,
sir; the man I was with last recon-
mended me; he recommended me to
leave, and get work more congenial
with my disposition"
, 1876-09-22

IF you have an enemy, don't curse
him. If you can't get at the top of his
head with a pan of hot Goals, ask him
to put his autograph in your album.
That will melt him.