Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1876-08-11
FACT AND FANCY.

DIR. Mary Walker has joined the Demo-
cratic party. Tilden is q bachelor.
The French metrical system of weights
and measures is about TO be introduced into
Russia.
"Bub can you direct me to dye shop 2"
said man TO boot.black. al kin that"
says the boy and directed him to doctors
office.
"Out of one hundred aud seventeen ladies
in Michigan university only four have taken
to law" How many have taken to lawyers
is not stated.
"That was very greedy Of you, Tommy,
to eat your littlel sisters share Of cake J"
"You told me, ma, was always to take her
part" said Tommy.
Little Rock Ark has chief of Police
who has been sent to prison for beating
boot-black, Probably he wanted to take the
shine out of the boy.
The Vershire copper mine in Vermont is
the largest in the country, employs 600 men,
is 2O0O feet deep, and produces 100000
pounds Of copper year.
A Captain Ahlstrom recently swan down
tho Danube from Vienna to Pesth, without
any apparatus, remaining in the water thirty
nine hours and with scarcely any rest.
"Well, Pat, Jim didn't quite kill you
with brickbat, did he?" mo, but wish
he had" "Why 80 :" 80 that l could
have seen him hanged, the villain"
San Francisco now claims population OF
272,000, an increase the past year Of about
$4,000. This estimate gives San Francisco
rank with New Orleans, Cincinnati, Balt-
more and Boston.
An inebriated man, walking along the
street, regarded the moon with sovereign
contempt. "You needn't feel so proud" he
said ''yeu are full only once month, and
am full every night"
Peter Keiser is an Illinois man who is
disgusted with hard money. He carried n
silver quarter in his pocket for fifteen years,
and on trying to pass it a few days ago,
found that it was counterfeit
Young men are so scarce at Long Branch
this season that the girls have been known
to hang pair Of pantaloons across the back
of a rocking chair and gaze at them for hours
at time.-Brooktyn Argus.
Wasn't it rough on Ella, just as she was
telling Frederick, at lunch, how ethereal her
appetite was, to have the cook bawl out,
"Say, will ye have yer pork and greens now,
or wait till yer feller's gOne2 2"
"Doff thine Eonian crown !" elegantly
says Bayard Taylor in his centennial ode.
"Shoot the hat" says the bad boy of the
street. Thus education softens and weakens
expression.-Neto Orleans Republican.
Bullets from saloon rifle have been fred
IL times at a champagne tumbler, which was
tempered by the new process, without break
ing it. But the twelfth shot shattered it.
Another tumbler, filled with ice, was put
into boiling water and did not break.
An odd bit Of dialogue occurs in French
novel: Where is your husband?" asks u
gentleman. "He went to buy a cigar" re-
7 plies the lady. alas he been gone long"
Eighteen years." HE is quite right" re.
marks the gentleman, philosophically; "he
wants to choose a good one."
Artfulness.-It has just transpired that
Philadelphia has surplus of 20 900 females
over males in its population. A great many
people have wondered why this city was
|
Perhaps they will leave off wondering after
this.-Judy.
An odd bit Of dialogue occurs in French
novel "Where is your husband?" asks a
gentleman. ale went to buy cigar" re-
plies the lady. "Has he been gone long ?"
Eighteen years." He is quite right" re-
marks the gentleman, philosophically; che
wants to choose good one."
"Can you change this William for me ?''
said young man who presented $50 bill
at the counter of the Gloucester National
Bank recently. "Yes," said the Cashier,
"but why do you call it William ?" "Oh. l
am not familiar enough with that kind of a
thing to call it Bill" was the quick reply.
The first application to get baby car
riage into the Centennial grounds was made
on Friday Of last week. The rolling chair
company has by contract the exclusive cou-
troll Of every vehicle in the grounds pro-
PEELED by hand, and is liable to object to the
entrance of baby carriages. The question
Of their admission is soon to be decided.
A New Jersey editor lost his best gold
pen and holder few days ago. After max,
ing thorough search all over the office, and
accusing dozen tramps Of its theft, he hap
pened to remember where he last placed it.
and bending down the top of his ear, discov
cred no less than fourteen penhoders Of va
rious styles which he had lost during the
last two years.
, A fellow-feeling ought to make Queen
. Victoria kind to the Sultan. 1t is estimated
: that in her eastern dominion the Empress o
India rules over 1861 Christians anC
nearly 5O,000,000 Mahometans. Sho hai
nearly 100000 more of Mahometan sub
jects than the Sultan himself.
$ George Francis Train is said to be {
! harmless lunatic. He spends the day use
lessly in Madison Park playing with th'
p, children, but will not shake hands with al
adult as he fears it would weaken him. Ii
says he is developing will power that viii
in time enable him to kill Q man by mer
exertion Of the mind.
, "How do you like your minister, Madge 2
asked one very stylish-dressed young lady Il
another in Highland car, the other day
!, "0h, he is just splendid she replied wit
animation. "You ought to see him, Maud
) He is so handsome, aud he prays so beauti
) fully, and roads the hymns 10 such a Lowell
way and, besides, Maud, there was dreaC
ful scandal about him in the place where h
preached before he came here"
! A man who was not clever at conundrum'
= in attempting to get off one at tea party a
his own house the other evening, became ex
= ceodingly mixed. He intended to ask tn
e old question; "Why is a woman like ivy :
. the familiar but gallant answer to which is
= Because, the more yon're ruined the close
! she clings" But he put il; "Why is iv
\ like woman ?" which none Of the the ladiC
! could tell, so the unfortunate man told theI
a himself that it was "because the closer
!. clings the more you're ruined"
Q A gentleman afflicted with an impedimel
\ in his speech took dinner at tavern, al
. calling IN n waiter addressed him thus