The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1876-12-28
LeTltIes.

II a man is determined to preach or
grumbling he can always find occasions
and texts.
A Missouri paper, speaking of the cold
winter of 1927, says: "Hogs and cattle
and turkeys roostlng on the trees were
frozen to DEATH"
The principal of Massachusetts acad
envy advertises that his school "tafns
out the very best papis." What docs
he turn them out for, pray!
"Why," asks an English review "Is
the British lion so afraid of having his
toes stepped upon2 Because be once
had unicorn on them.
Roorbachs are of ancient pathological
origin. 1t is related that after Charon
had rowed Eurydice across the Styx,
she at once ordered him to ro'er-bacl1.
Ifyou want TO see and appreciate the
very acme of innocent surprise, turn re-
porter and call on railroad agent to get
the particulars of smash.up on bis
line.
a weekly paper in Wisconsin says ::
"Mrs. Elkhorn, of Sugar Creek, died
last week, after the publication of this
paper" The press always was power
in the land.
The mighty Nimrods who seek the
pine woods OF Michigan to slaughter
game generally leave from five TO TWEEN
ty packs Of cards in their abandoned
camps.
The chaplain of the penitentiary has
one advantage not enjoyed by any other
preacher in the land. No matter how
dull his sermon may be, he can't preach
his house empty.
This winter we may be suro that all
the holidays in the church calendar will
be religiously kept. The rich will keep
all the feast days and The poor will be
sure to keep all the fast days.
recent Amherst graduate, now q
settled pastor, was telling retired mis-
sionary that he entered college and the
theological seminary with the intention
of becoming missionary, when the old
veteran broke out with: "Ah! Won
turned back attor putting your hand TO
the plough" "No," was the answer, al
just took another plow."
Once upon time, sagely remarks the
San Francisco Stock Exchange, when o
popular tavorite started dowr grade and
brought up at the poor-house orpauper's
grave, his friends would say: "Poor
fellow he. took to drink and You know
the rest" Now they say: "The darn
ed fool took TO stocks and got busted"
Stocks and whisky are oftentimes con-
ve-tible terms and inalienahle friends.
DR.. Temple, bishop of Exeter, was
present not long ago at the opening of
mission-sehool at Brixham, and took n
seat among the audience. DR.. Temble
admits his seat deficiencies in music, but
when the hymns were gwen ont, be
swelled the chorus 10 the best OF his abll-
ity. Suddenly feeling an elbow in his
ribs, he looked around and was acoosted
by sailor: IL say, governor you're
singing out OF tune"
ga cast,iron grandmother" is not
term of reproach, but only a new ma
chine for darning stockings.
The exact scientists may be very
smart fellows, but their efforts have all
been vanity so long as the average mind
fails To comprehend why q dog wags his
foot when YOU scratch his back.
Newspapers shouldn't joke. over the
increased weight of A. II. stephens. IL
is a sad thing when man begins TO pick
up five pounds per week. Ten years
from now no barn floor can hold him
up.
The boast of John Bull that he has
made the nearest step 10 the Arctic apex
is rather scoffed at about Warsaw.
They have too long believed there that
Russia has not only reached, bat over
reached the Pole.
Betting man Ito his par,ner)-'Look
'ere, Joe. ear you've been gambln'
on the stock exchange! Now man
must draw the line somewhere, and If
that kind of thing goes on, YOU and me
will ave 10 part company Z"
4 miser eaving the haldresscr's,
where be had given powrboire 10 the
boy: "You arc wrong" said he, 'sto 4
give daily pourjoireS. II is better TO
give New Years gifts. First, il is cheap
err then it has more effect. and then,
one must die some time, and that year
you gam three months, six months, or
YOU might be smart enough 10 die on