, 1876-08-06
BREVITIES.

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Of total dcpravity till he has worn pair ot
| white pantaloons at q picnic and sat down on q
plate of custard pie. An event Of this kind will
simplify whole system of theology.
An old ScotchWoman, whose favorite son vas
in the habit Of swearing occasionally, was cen,
sured By her minister for not correcting him
'sIt's vara wrong, minister,' she admitted
ssbut re maun aloo that it sets aft conversation
NIGHTLY"
A popular preacher recently, in his sermon
did wise thing by inducing people to look on
the sunny side Of things. He said {and doubt
less spoke after careful search to confirm his
statement) that the word "srorst" appears only
once In the Bible.
Boston Transcript: Distr1,st of officials has
become so general Of late that q cruel wag says
he would not trust church-wardcns and tleacons
just now with contribution boxes, unless they
carried a horse-car conductors bell-punch and
"a blue trip-s1lp."
Teacher" Johnny, how did Enoch go to
Hcavens" Johnny" Don't know, ma'a1n. ~
Teachcr-"W Why knocl WAS translated; God
took him up to Heaven without dying.'' John
ny-"By golly, then, that's the line I'm going
up on!"-1he Packer Quarterly.
"My boy" said a sole1nn-visaged man to 4
lad who had just emerged from q hair pulling
hereafter in land Of pure delight ~ NO."
said the lad, "1've busted another button off
my trousers, and / expect to get licked for it."
A slight mistake at christening: Clergyman
(who has forgotten tho day OF the month";
= Let me see; this is the-al-the thirteenth, I
believe:" Fond mother (not catching the idea
exactly, but thinking OF her family y" Why,
bless your stars! No, this is only the elcv-
enth'5
,S~S.+ S, oF T.,
pa1ochiM visits, met 4 cow-hcrti, and asked him
what o'clock it was. ssAbout l2, sir, was the
reply. 'Well," quoth the minister, II
thought it had been more.' SITS never any
more here" said the boy; sit just begins at
again.
Children" said a country. minister, ad-
dressing i Sunday school, s1why are VIC like
flowers? What do We have that flowers havc!"
And small boy in the infant class, whose
breath smeled of vermifuge, rose up aud made
reply: "Worms!" And the minister crrpt
under the pulpit to hide his emotion.
A clergyman who did not believe in going out
side Of lis own denomination to distribute his
charities was solicited by d beggar for aims.
stSly brother" said the man OF God, 'tare
you High Churcht''
ssNeVer was high in my life,'' returned the
beggar rcproachfully; II never drinks nuthin'
at all, sir"
During the late revival of the Methodist Epis-
copal Church at Marshteld, O., young convert,
after being taken into the fold, rose to address
the brethren, and being more familiar with base
ball nomenclature than pious phrases, clothed
his few remarks in the following: II have made
the first base, and, by the help Of the Lord, will
make the home run.''
4 Scotch minister thus discourscd on the care
lessness OF llis flock: ''Brethren, when you
leave the church just look down at the Dukes
swans; they arc very bonny swans, AM they'll
be soomtng about au' aye docking doom their
heads and lavng theirsels VII the clear water till
they're drookit; then you'lt see them soon-
ing to the shore, am they'll gle their wings bit
you you con- come a here every Sabbath an lave 'e YOU a.
over wi the Gospel till ye're fairly drooit vii
it. But you just gang AVA hame, an sit doom
By your fireside, gle your wings bit aap, an
ye'rc as dry as ever again.
Here is little bit from the London World
that might p7oftably have been "sent to Puuch'
in Jnhn Leech's day: A lady took her 7-year-
old little boy to 4 new church, where it is the
polite custom to keep supply Of prayer-books
ia the porch for the use Of such members as
may have forgotten those not forgotten
accessories. When seated in her pew, the lady
told the little fellow 60 and fetch her prayer
q very red face, but without the book. "Why
did you come back without it, dears Perhaps
they were all gomez" so no, mamma dear,
there were plenty, but they were all Common
frayer-b0oks, ana don't like to bring you
common book, mamma dear!'
The misquotation Of the Bible given in late
number Of the Drawer has brought to lis the
following: Some years ago, during Demo-
cratic State Convention held at Syracuse, there
q large Sunday-school picnic, to which
many Of the delegates were iayitcd, and which
4 few attended. Among those WHO accepted
were John Van Buren and Gen. Nyc. Mr.. Van
Buren was requested to make & little speech to
the little people, and though it was a little out
OF his line, cheerfully assented. IN the course
Of it he sought to impress upon the juveniles
that honesty was the best policy, and that poll,
ticians Of all classes were quite too apt to sell
aud be sold. BY way of illustration he added,
* You remember low Abraham Of old traded