Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1876-08-25
lFrom the Toledo Dlade.l
Nasty on the Letters.
CoNFEDERIT Y RoADs, l
WICH IS IN THE STATE wv KENTUCKY, !
August Z, 1876,

CoNFEDERIT X ROADS,
WICH IS IN THE STATE wv KENTUCKY,
August Z, 1876.
There wuz wunst a doctor wch he'd a
bark wich wood either physic or puke, ac.
cordin ez he stript of the tree up or down.
Like TO this doctor is Tilden and Hen
dirk. Read their letters up and they are
hard money physic-reed EN- down and
they are soft money vomick.
The day 1 got back from the ST. Louis
convenshun, / commenst preparin for q
stumpin toor for our gallent standard bar
ers. 1 borrowed an extra shirt, so that l
Good hev one 1 borrowed a valise to kerry
it in when l wuzn't speakin, and also 10
give me standin at sich hotels ez the COM
mittee didn't become responsible for my
board, and Bascom completed my travelin
outfit by contributin a quart bottle of the
newest, TO lie kerried in the valise to be
yoosed when in localities where the neces-
saries NV life wuz hard to come at.
Ez l coodent so out instruclin NV the
people Till L knowed wat my candidates
bieeved in, decided TO wait till 1 got the ir
letters nv acceptance. Did that likker stay
in the valise? Not any. 1t wuz all gone
the fust day, and / went TO Bascom with
the empty bottle the next mornin.
"Fill it up, G. w." sed I. 81 can't go
till hev seen them letters"
"When will they conner" askt he.
"To-day or to- o-morrow,' sed I.
"You should hev kept what you he'd till
the letters come" sed be.
"Bascom," was the response, "likker
like yours cannot be kept"
And then, seein trouble ahead, contn-
yood:
"Promise me that yoo will keep this bot
tie filled till them letters come. 1t will he
but little while, and remember, Bascom,
yoo got the $500 that Tilden, the Reformer,
paid for my vote at st. Loois."
81 promise p he groaned.
"And likewise, until hev read EN- and
understood em, so that shell not go out
and spout false Dlmocrisy."
81 promise !" he groaned aein.
Day after day passed, but no letters came.
But promptly, every mornn, wuz at
Bascom's with that bottle, which he groan-
ingly filed. On the thir;ieth day he re-
foosed pint-blank.
&c. w." sed I, sternly, remember yoor
promise. 1 may be called any mint 1t
wuz the foolish virgins wat he'd no lie In
ther lamps. 1 am no foolish virgin. Fill
up the lamp for may be called to-nite."
And he filled it, becoz he he'd promised.
But every mornin he wood lift up his
voice ez l come in, and howl, ''Grashus
hevensl amt them letters never comm to
relieve me NV this incubus?"
At last, one mornin the letters come, in
the louisville papers, and Bascom come
over TO me happy. ez though great wait
he'd bin lifted off him.
"I ill the bottle for the last time," sed
he gaily, "for 10 A! here be the letters"
I took the papers and red the letters, and
the next mornin wuz promptly at his bar
with the bottle.
"Fill tP' remarkt calmly.
"Not eny," sed he. "Yoo hev the let
ters."
"George Washington b." 1 replied,
"yoor promise wuz to keep this bottle filed
not only till he'd red them letters but till
l understood EN-. 1 hev bin applyin my
iutelek to em for ten hours, and eff know
iiOuI lStbSAS " tdih
hard money or son, immejite resumption
or perpetual postponement, hope never
to be postmaster"
What did that perfjus wretch do? He
telegrail that very day TO both Tilden and
Hendrix, ez follers:
"Shel Nasby, on the stump, advocate
hard money or sofl2 Answer TO wunst.
Important, 10 save an innosent Dimocrat
from rooin."
And the ansers come prompt:
FROM TILDEN.
"Hard money, Nv course, but soften ii a
good deal in the West. Strike boldly, how
ever, for reform, and agln the corrupshen
nv the Republican party. TILDEN."
FROM HENDRIX.
"Soft money, NV course, but harden it a
good deal in the East. Strike boldly, how
ever, for reform, and agin the corrupshen
of the Republican party. HENDRIX"
And so, hevin my instruckshens, he'd
10 go. 1 shel, however, before speak, get
instruck shens from John Morrlssey and
Fernandy Wood, ez to the best methods Nv
bringing about reform, aud NV fightin cor
rupshen in governmental matters.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
(Wch wants to he PostmastCr)