National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1876-05-10
MR.. sHurrIrs TROUBLES.
what ia Knnus Ahout nomeat;o Affai,


Our friend Shuttle has a wife, or rather our
friend Shuttle's wife has husband. That is to
say, that Shuttle trains in domestic harness
whereof Mrs s. holds the reins. It's little singu
lar that Shuttle should ever grow FESTIVE and chafe
under the matrimonial restraint which he is
pleased to term "bridal bit !" because Mrs. S. is
most charming woman, and by her shrewd man
agement Of both Shuttle AMI finances has ena-
bled him to live costly upon a moderate income.
But sometimes when Mrs. SHUTTLE threatens to
curtail household expenses by substituting plain
steak for Shuttles favorite porterhouse in order
TO square the expenditures of Mr.. s. for "inci-'
dentals"-for which he has, we are sorry to say, q
decided procliyity-the takes them through q
straw,) Shuttle rebels. Mrs. Shuttle some time
since convinced Shuttle that, in consideration of
his sedentary employment and hard times, he
might subserve both health and economy by pur-
chasing the wood and kindling they use by the
quantity and cutting the same himself. During
one Of his recent rebellious fits Shuttle grew reck
less and attempted suicide by emitting his usual
exercise until there wasn't stick Of wood In the
back yard that would go
MORE THAN HALF WAY
in the stove. Mrs. S. tried smoking him out Of
his sullenness; but it was failure and aside from
that she not only suffered herself, but did the
nicely -washed walls. So Mrs. Shuttle tried
another experiment. Shuttle is proud, and holds
Mrs. Shuttle essayed an attack upon this very
sensitive characteristic. During one of the fine
afternoons Of last week, when Shuttle returned to
the bosom Of his family, he found nicely cooked
dinner of just such things as he likes the most,
and what was better he found his wife radiant
with smiles. Shuttle commenced to relent, and
had mentally denounced himself as q brute, re-
solving that as soon as he had finished dinner he
would give the wood-pile particular thunder.
After Mrs. S. had poured out his coffee she left
the table, and in minute afterwards Shuttle
heard an axe whacking away in the back yard.
He went to the window, and there was Mrs.
Shuttle right in sight of all the neighbors, with
her sleeves rolled up, swinging an axe with might
and main as awkwardly as only woman can.
Mrs. S. looking out of the corner of her eye saw
his dismay. She had gained her point, but she
didn't want any scenes in the presence of the
neighbors. So Just as Shuttle reached the back
door she espied a hoop, which she thought she
would cut in two, and retire to discuss the matter
of wood-chopping indoors. She laid the hoop
carefully on the log, and whacked away at it just
AS SHUTTLE CANE UP.
The other side of the hoop came up also, and hit
ting her across the nose, called her attention,
without the aid Of telescope. to more planets of
the first magnitude than Caroline Hershal ever
dreamed of.
Mrs. Shuttle dropped the axe fortunately with
the blunt end down. but unfortunately upon Shut
ties avOrite corn. Mrs. Shuttle does her market
ing now in blue goggles, and Shuttle having con
suited DIR. White and sharpened the axe, once
more supplies the family fuel in proper condi-
tion