davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
Beautiful Jewesses at Long Branch.
Gath in Cincinnati Enquirer

Long Branch is the place for beautiful
Jewesses. They grow fair in skin, yet
preserve all their splendid contrasts OF
rich eyebrows and oriental eyes and
tresses here. Domestic, well appetized,
taking their leisure most philosophically,
they make willing mothers, and at mid
die life are troubled with nothing more
than excess of flesh. There is hotel
called Jauch's at the Branch, pronounced
Yock, where the middle class family He
brews stop among French and medley
of foreigners. As it is good place for
bachelors. having meals la carte, L
stopped there a week and made, after
fashion, a trip to the Holy Eand. The
husbands and lovers arose at half-past
five, bathed with their faces towards the
east or their heels in the air, and, taking
only cup of coffee, darted off to New
York. At ten o'clock the Hebrew
mother was up looking for her boys, who
were chasing the pig or the tom cat
across the lawn. The oriental damsel
was reading novel, or practicing min
strel ballad down at the piano, or flirting
with a christian with a pocket handker-
chief. They breakfasted light and went
off to bathe in plain muslin or bunting
dresses, blue being a favorite color.
Emerging from the bath house, clad IN
bifurcated blue trimmed with white, the
daughter of Judith stands, and, as in the
olden story, she drives the nails in the
temples of Holofernes, but is now only a
toe-nail; for we see her milk-white feet,
turned at the tips like the shell OF an
ivory snail riPeoued PaRsSad OR pnx sang There @ she she
is. fresh as the riddle the sphinx pro-
pounded, and older than its creation in
the undiminished vigor of her race.
She stands the type of Miriam with her
tabor and Mary with her Joseph. Cleo
patra is dead and all the sons of Anthony,
and in their place there rules turban
and Turk. But the gold that must
sustain his tOttering power and ours is
the thrift of the wandering Jew. He
travels from land to land with gold dust
in his garments, his wife with diamonds
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
OUR mINlsrER's SERMON.
he minister said last night, said he:

The minister said last night, said he:
"Don't be afraid of givin';
If your life amt worth nothtn' 20 other ioIKs,
Why what is the use of livingP
And that's what say to my wife, says l.
There's Brown the mis'rab sinner,
He'd sooner beggar would starve than give
cent toward buying dinner
tell you our minister is prime, lie is,
But couldn't quite determine,
When he 1rd him givin' 1t right and IeIt'
Just who was hit by his sermon
OF course there couldn't be no mistake
When he talked of long winded prayin',
For Peters and Johnson, they sat and scowled
At every word he was sayin''
And the minister he went on to say,
There's various kinds of cheatin,
And religions good for every day.
AS it is To bring to meetin'.
don't think much of the man that gives
The loud amen at my preachin,
And spends his time the followin' week
In cheatin' and over reachin'.
guess that dose was bitter enough
For man like Jones to swallow;
But I noticed he didn't open his mouth,
Not once after that to boiler;
Hurrah, says 1, for the minister
OF course 1 said it quiet
Give us some more of this plain talk,
It's very refreshing diet.
The minister hit 'em every time,
And when he spoke of fashion,
And riggin's out in bows and things,
As womans ruling passion,
And coming to church to see the styles,
/ couldn't help a winkin'
And nudgin' my.wife, and says /, that's you,
And guess it set her thinkin'.
Says 10 myself, that sermons pat,
But man is queer creation,
And Pm much afraid that most of the folks
Won't take the application.
Now, If he had said a word about
My personal mode Of sinnin',
I'd have gone te work to right myself,
And not set there GRIMM.
Just then the minister says, says he,
"And now I've come TO the fellers
Who've lost this shower by usin' their friends
AS sort o. moral umbrellas.
Go home" says he and find your faults.
Instead of huntin' your brothers,
Go home" says he "and wear the coats
You've tried to fit for Others"
My wife she nudged, and Brown he winked,
And there was lots o. snilin',
And lots lots O. lookin' at our pew,
1t sot my blood bilin'.
Says to myself, our minister
Is gettin little litter,
I'll tell him, when the meetin's out, that
Amt at all that kind of 4 critter.
-Nei1 Hauen Register.
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

OCCASIONALLY BARRIERS get hold of a
poor quality of bay rum, and when such
is applied to the face of man just shaved
it smarts like fire for few moments. A
case of this kind occurred in one of our
barber shops, the other day. "Whoopl
hold! holy Moses!" yelled the man,
springiug wildly from the chair, and
clssPing his burning cheeks with both
hands; "yeu may skin me-that's all
right-but I'll be essentially cussed il
Pm going to have pepper-sauce rubbed
on it afterwards Now, you hear mel"
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
The Worlds Stock of Coin.
The stock of coin in the commercial
world is put down as follows:

Of the four billion dollars of coin in
existence in 1876, Ernest Seyd estimates
that at least two billion three hundred
million dollars are inEgold alone. Not
far from one-third of the annual produc-
ton of gold and silver is consumed in the
arts, for domestic purposes, and by wear
and friction. The other twO-thirds pass
into circulation as money, say one hun
dree million dellars annually,
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

PARALLEL OF THE SEXEs.-There is
al admirable partition of the qualities
between the sexes, which the Author of
our being has distributed to each with a
wisdom that challenges our unbounded
admiration:
Man is strong-woman is beautiful.
Man is daring and cOnident-woman
is diffident and unassuming.
Man is great in action-wOman in suf-
Ter ng.
Man shines abroad-woman at home.
Man talks to convince-wOman to per-
suade and please.
Man has a rugged heart-woman a soft
one.
Man prevents misery-woman relieves
it.
Man has science woman has taste
Man has judgment-woman has seusi-
bility.
Man is being of justice-woman an
angel of mercy.
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

THE man, who, weary of his wife's alb
sence Ona visit to her mother, had photo
graph ofhis house taken with himself and
his neighbO wife standing on the porch,
which he sent to his better-half, has rival
in the one who simply saw that his letter
contained, as if by accident, red hair
about three feet long. His wife wouldn't
have waited for the next train to get
home, could she have sent herself by
telegraphy.
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
FOREIGN.

The coroner's investigation into the
death of Mr.. Bravo is convulsing all Eng
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

WE sec it stated that the recent report
of Mr.. Watson to the British govern
ment upon the state of Florida has at
tracted the attention of all Europe in
that direction, and it is believed that
the state will largely profit during the
coming year from the emigration rapidly
tending toward it. In this connection
it is interesting to note that a great deal
of attention is being given in Europe to
engineering projects in this country
more particularly with regard to the
ship canal from the gulf of Mexico to
the Pacific, and that across the peninsula
o. Florida. There is little doubt that
the latter canal, which can easily be
built, will be constructed within the
next few years, the basis being too good
to lie neglected III times likethese, when
there are millions of money seeking for
investment. The Paris correspondent of
the New York Times says, in his last
letter to that journal, that the money
an readily be found in Europe, and
that DeLessepS, who built the SuCz
canal, is beginning to turn his attention
To the Florida canal, not only as an en-
gineering scheme, but as one of the sur
est sources of immediate profit that, to
use his own phrase, "cou!d be picked
out from thousands which have been
brought under his notice since the COM
pletion of the Suez canal" In the COM
mercial part of this work he sees the
certainty of large and speedy returns,
and says that, 50 far as he can Judge
from the maps and reports; the engineer
ing work would offer no difficulties, and
ould be done at a figure even below the
misunderstanding Commercial
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
Sea Nymphs and Their Toes.
From George Alfred ToWnsend's Cape May Letter
TO the Philadelphia Times.

From George Alfred ToWnsend's Cape May Letter
to the Philadelphia Times.
Stockings of blue, red and striped are
worn this summer in the bath, knee high,
with q coauettish little white seam down
the side, as if it was a rip. What cum
ming has not woman She is aware that
hel foot is almost always inferior to a
mans in grace and plant. Aman stands
like marble statue, with the blue veins
cut clearly; a wOman's foot is the trade
mark of irresOlutiOn and only half devel-
oped, and tn tees take hold of nothing.
Her big toe points upward and her little
toe shrinks into the sand. The precise
connection between woman and her
squeal could never ascertain. Origi-
nally, no doubt, when she was alone with
Darwin, the squeal was all the language
she had. Development came along and
the caudal part OF the lady became an
imperfect bunch of toes, while the object
finally learned to articulate. Yet on all
trying occasions she resumes the squeal
runs up the line of breakers at Cape May,
as the cold water strikes threc thousand
ankles. Then we observe the uniformity
with which every daughter of Thetis is
armed iD her cOrsets. Their diminished
proportions confirm the story of Adam
tnaG IL UOOk only one Vi HIS TlDS 10 make
a whole woman. But these general de-
fections of form only make more admira-
BILE the perfect of her sex. She is from
Baltimore, and weighs about one hun.
dred and thirty pounds, at the age OF
sixteen. Her hair is a rich copper brown,
flung loose like name. Her feet and an
kles are as white as the feety soul of a
billiard ball, which has invisible legs of
ivory. She wears a suit of dark red,
with a skirt and slender breeches, and
dashing down the sands and into the
soap suds of Mrs. Neptune, she hears the
small boy exclaim, perforce: :" What
a pretty daughter our washerwoman
hasl'
"I JESS see my gov'nor, boss; the ole
NANNY daddy. I amt seed him fore
for long time, and he jess tole me how
ole l is. / wants you to calcilatee de
ting for me. De old man sez was born
in S32. Now, how is er ?'' "YOu mean
1882, Sam" "No, sab; no, sab 832
dat's what de old man sez, and he
knows" "Well, that will make y?uI!
one thousand and forty-fou years old"
"Nol is dat SO, boss2 Well, well, dis
chile is certaily OLE"
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

The Scientific American suggests as a
scarecrow, fitted to intimidate the bold
est bird, TIVE small looking glasses fast
cned back to back, and hung by one cor
ner to an elastic pole. The bravest crow
will depart if one of the lightning flashes
from the suns reflected rays fall on him.
Another terror involves an artificial
hawk made from big potato and long
goose and turkey feathers. 1t is aston
ishing what Notwithstanding bird of
prey can be constructed from the above
simple materials. 1t only remains TO
hang the object from tall bent pole, and
the wind will do the rest. The bird
makes sweeps and dashes in the most
headlony and threatening manner. Even
the most inquisitive of venerable hens
has been known to hurry rapidly from
its dangerous vicinity, while to small
birds it carries unmixed dismay.
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08
TIMELY TOPICS.

EXPERIMENTS in London prove that
dry heat, when it can be applied, is prob
ably the most efficient of all disinfect-
ants, and that the old plan of stopping
up crevices and fumigating with sulphur
and charcoal is more efficacious than any
other proceeding with more modern dis
infectants
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

n FRoNTIERsMAN suggests the follow
ing benevolent plan for clearing out the
Injuns." He says: eff 1 wuz the
government I'd buy lots of barrels of
whisky and lots % big knives, and I'd
put 'em somewhar in the west, an invite
every redskin in the hull land to what
they call a conference. After they'd
got thar I'd knock in the heads % the
barrels and scatter the knives all round
loose so they'd be handy. Then I'd 90
away and leave the Injuns to themselves.
OF course, they'd take the whisky and
the knives, and before sundown thar
wouldn't be more than one redskin left,
and then I'd go and knock his brains out
afOre he could do any more damage.
That sir, IS the only reel way to settle
the Injun question. I've been among
'em, AN l know. Plenty of whisky an
long knives III fix 'em out, an nothing
else will
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

IT really seems as if Ireland's day had
begun to dawn at last, and that, too,
when other countries are in throes. An
Irish landlord, writing in Frazier's Mag
azine, says that "There never was time
in the memory of any one living when
Irish tenants were making so much
money, or rents were so well paid"
The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-09-08

THE leading dry-goods houses of Chi
cagO have for several years been buying
in Europe instead of New York. A. T.
Stewart & Co., are to open next month a
huge dry goods house in Chicago and to
make straight bid for the country
trade. Their agent, Sabin X. Smith,
told reporter of the Post that they
g would take stand from the start as
though they had been established for ten
years in Chicago: there would be no
question about time, style, credit, or any
thing but they would continue their
trade as they had been doing in New
York, saying to their customers on their
way, cast, stop right here and get your
goods, and save the Journey"
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-08-02
Rossmore Hotel,
Junction Of Broadway, 7th Avenue and
AID Street.
REV YORK CITY,

Three Blocks west Of Grand Central Depot
near the Elevated Railroad. and but TWEEN
ty minutes from Wall Street. AL modern
improvements. Rates ~ per day. Lib
ersl terms TO fanatics.
CHAs.- Z. LELAND, Proprietor
OF Delevsn House, Albany, n. y, an d
Clarendon Hotel, Saratoga. 7-I-d3m.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-08-02

swefinR such baAeless fabfications AZ
those In the Journal, still was willing to
answer all questions propounded to him,
Mr.. Alderman first stated that the best
of feeling existed between MIR. Douglas
and the board of directors. and that his
administration had been highly honor
able and successful, and no reflection
could or ever had been cast upon 1t by
the board, or any one else connected
with the company. In regard to the IN
vestment of the 100000 in the jack
son and Cairo line, MIR. Alderman stated
that his company about four years ago, in
order to secure control of the bust
mess south of the Ohio and a
through line to New Orleans, loaned the
Mississippi Central railroad S6,OOO,OOO
with which to build connection be-
tween the two lines from Jackson to
Cairo, distance of one hundred and
seven miles. 1t was expected that this
would greatly help the company, and in
crease the gross earnings and not dimin-
ish them, as the State Journal asserted.
| Had railroad business remained as good
as it was at the time the money was
loaned, the wisdom OF the movement
would have appeared ere this. But the
general depression of railroad business
which followed the crevasse of the spring
of 1874, and various other causes, greatly
impaired the earnings of the road. While
the expectations Of its projectors have
not been realized. there is no reason to
call the investment foolish one, as the
road must sooner or later become a
source of profit to the people of Chicago
and the Illinois Central. There was not
the least danger that the road would lose
the $6,O00,0O0. 1t held first mortgage
on the 107 miles between Jackson and
Cairo and second mortgage on the rest
of the road. The proceedings which
are now pending In the southern courts
looking to foreclosure of the New Or.
leans road were commenced in the in.
terest OF the Illinois Central railroad.
The charge that the board was trying
to place the responsibility of this invest
ment upon the shoulders of Mr.. Douglsl
was preposterous. At the time the in
yestment was made, Mr.. John Newell
was president, and he was one of thu
trustees. AS Mr.. Douglas succeeded Mr.
Newell he could not possibly have ha'
; anything to do with the measure, ant
that showed at once the baselessness o
: the charges made by the State Journal
The Illinois Central railroad, whit
suffering from the present stagnation il
business like all other railroads, ye
would proudly say that, under MIR. Doug
: las management, 1t had achieved sue
l cess which few other roads had, ant
was still doing as well as the best.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-08-02
wide rsnss of genera information.
lie had been called vulgar because he

wide RAM of general information.
He had been called vulgar because he
NOT A MISS NANCY.
One of the papers In the county had
tried to make fun of him because he
''swum" the Fox river a few days ago
to get at man with whom he desired TO
talk, and had roasted on log in state
of nature while he and that man had
their palaver out. He couldn't see any
thing wrong about that. He "swum'.
because by 80 doing he saved round
about journey of a mile and half to get
at John Armstrong, "the president OF
the grangers In Illinois," who wanSed to
see him and was In hurry on account OF
train time. He though he would make
A DECENT GOVERNOR
should be elected. He realized the
responsibility OF such an off,
Ger to the people. Zone man must be
given credit for having as much sense as
another until the contrary is proven. y
said he, "And no one has right to cal
me incompetent unless I've shown my
selfto be incompetent" His notion was
that the most important duty of the gov
ernor was to see that no stealing wa
done, and to be careful that all the pub
lie institutions OF the state. charitable ant
other, were properly managed.
And so on, through ramble over tn
grounds and down in the valley (which
certainly is as lovely spot as any in tn
State) and a walk to the sation and
wait for the midnight train, upon which
the Times talker came back to the city
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-08-02

S. IN 500 per day at home SAMPLES worth
w W PNO 81 free. siinsOn Company.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-08-02
PRAIRIE LANDS.

The last chance for good agricultural lands on
TEN YEARS CREDIT, at SIX PER CENT. interest.
Don't run anv risks, but 20 to country that has
been proved TO I've good. Send your address by
postal card to Land Com'r Is. Il NJ. X. r.,
Burlington. Iowa, and receive free copy of Iowa
and Nebraska Farmer, with oh art Of land, and
" round trip rates 3-2s-ws9m.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-02-19
Tho oou,s,.oa eoyeruorship,


The committee gu elections ofibe House
of delegates Tuesday submitted majority
aud minority reports in reference 70 non;
j. Morrison IIarriss memorlalas 70 aiieg0p
fraud and irregularities ct The late election
for Governor 81 Maryland. The majority
r.,,or, claims that thcre is 10 contest ~
the ease. because Mr., Harris deems the
matter OF no personal consequence % nun
and has discontinued any relation thereto
by leaving the whole case to the disposi
ton of the House Of Delegates, after M
yiting the attention Of the House to owl
denee taken by contestants for seats ~ the
Legislature from Baltimore city, which
evidence the majority of the committee
claim cannot be considered in tho matter
of the goyemorship, as not having been
taken In such case as provided by the code
The Governor having been indicted IN
Office in full accordance with legal require
neuts he cannot be ousted except in strict
conformity to the laws regulating such
matters. But the majority Of the COM
mittee say that il the legislative contest
evidence shall develop sufficient cause Tor
apparent iavalidation Of the entire election
they will so report to the House, aud ask
leave to take testimony in accordance with
the code as to the question whether Gov.
Carroll was legally elected. Otherwise
the House must take such action as It may
deem fit in regard to Harris's memorial.
The minority report questions the right
of any person to be indicted into oihce ex-
elnsively upon the returns aud certificate
Of election, or that persons so returned are
rishtfully entitled TO the Offices to which
they are certified to have been elected it
impeachment be made as TO the legality of
such election. Although the constitution
declares that the person having the highest
number of votes shall be declared Cover
nor, there is not Que word prescribing his
installation in Office 10 case his election or
inclieibility shall have been previously
| questioned before the House Of Delegates,
the very provision that he shall be inaugu-
rated on the second Wednesday of January
next ensuing the election being strongly
qualified BY the words, "or as soon there
after as may be practicable. The minor
ity also quote ex-Gov Groomes official
declaration in tho disputed attorney gen
eralship case, that there was sufficient
reason for hearing and investigation of
the charges Of fraud alleged in regard to
the November election. The minority re.
port also condemns the Senates action in
regard to Gov. CAROLS Inauguration as
altogether unwarrantable and unprccedent-
ed, and concludes with an earnest appeal
for an immediate and vigorous inyestiga-
ton, independently of Mr.. larriss per
soual withdrawal from the coutest--the
great question involved being not 50 much
who was legally elected Governor OF Ma
ryland as whether or not a great crime has
been committed against the right of suf-
frage.--Sm
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1876-02-19
A New Assessment

Therc anne,rs IA he very general de-
.;,o a, new assessment Of property
,hroa.hoat the STATE The present basis
og t.xstioa made inst after the late war
,sh;,a AZ mice ~ overriding was inflated,
!. hsl;aved i v IN ~ az hioh 4 valuation.
~ |. v..,s no,;aa seems 10 prevail that
n lousri assessment Of property should
IL made nat taxes would be lower also.
Th,s aoes not necessarily follow. ia new
asss.snan, shoall bring under taxation
.sv considerable amount Of property not
nav saxed Il might urevent the aggregate
volnatioH tsom falling below rs present
amount and thus Keep the State tax some
where near what il now is. even with the
a. rata reduced 1.-THE assessment should
show lie increase Of property in the State
q be yery great. Of course the rate Of tax
ALTON xonlS he correspoudingly reduced.
p,,s ,,;thant sueh ;ueraase. mon much