Richland beacon., 1876-12-23
A Village Fire.

II. I. A., in the De,roi, Free Press, gives
tho following graphic description of village
fire, which is proof positive that the writer
"has been there: -
Our village had one redeeming fea'pre-ir
was quiet very quiet, in fact, the cows
browsed along the roadside Of our principal
street, and would stop chewing their cud to
gaze upon a stranger in wondering awe, but
that fire made things hump
Ii was about midnight wnen heard ex.
cited cries OF fire! fire! felt the wall, it
wasn't warm, so turned over to get another
sleep, but my Iandlady, Mrs. Smith, with a
bucket Of water in her hand, screamed ,u. at
the top of her shrill voice from the bottom Of
the stairs, 20, Mr. Muggins, do come down
quick, the hull towns on fire and here's a
bucket o waierr
"My dear Madam" ] replied, keep COOL
is it hard or soft water you have in that
bucKet?' -
"Soft water, soft waterr' she cried
"Not Bit of good said, mot a Bit Of
good, hard water is the only thing on earth
that will put out fire, so let's 70 to sleep,
for amt member of the bucket brigade"
But il was no use, they were raising such
Of the question, so DOMINIC my neither gar
ments ! sailed forth TO investigate
The fire was in an old smoke>house that
would not retail for more than 81, but the
amount Of excitement coun,erbalanced the
size of the fire,
Four dime. novel boys were on the roof cut.
ting away at the shingles with axes, and puff
ing ard blowing like porpoises, and urged on
by our village President who, surrounded by
a small posse Of awe.stricken villagers, KEEP,
shouting al intervals, "Look at those heroic
men on that burning pie! Look at them.
What examples Of courage and bravery etc
(Said burning pile" being about nins feet
hgh)
Meanwhile other "heroic" men were rush.
ing toward the scene Of action with water,
and though they frequently had collision in
which every drop of water was split, they
would regrasp their empty buckets with fresh
energy and dash onward for lear life.
Bill Spifiins, our b1id,headed school ,eachor,
who had forgotten his wig, was working
away at the pump. trying to fill a bucket with
the bottom out, and shouting at the top Of his
voice, Fire! Fire!
Just then head some one yelling behind,
and tuning saw Sam jenkins bounding TO-
ward US with a Babcock FIRE exttnguisher on
his back.
Now, Sam was never noted for "dressing
for an OCCASION" but he was certainly dressed
for thus occasion, for any one could see that he
had "got up to 60 to fire. for his stumbling
gait indicated that his pants were on "hind
part before" although from a "front view"
this was scarcely noticeable, as the tails Of his
coat covered that locality, and the row of
brass buttons, which shonld have been in
front, were playing a tattoo on tho ex,n.
guisher behind. whine both hands were ner-
vously working away at the two ends Of his
projecting shirt sleeves, which were twisted
about his neck, and which he, misinking
them for his neck handkerchief, was endeav-
oring TO tie in bow.
As he rushed amongst US, our President,
waving paper collar, shouted; "Up on the
roof with it! up on the roof with it,
Sam spread himself on the weather side Of
the burning pile" like a huge spider, clawing
si it with fingers and toes, but somehow he
couldn't get up, for his coat tails and pants
both hindered him, but getting "a boost from
behind he managed TO jam his head against
the sharn shingles while The boys on the
roof clu,ched the extinguisher and struggled
to hoist Sam up with it, all the time shouting,
"fire firew
At last, with an extra jerk, the straps gave
way, and Sam fell to the ground as the ur.
chins gIinued aud uttered a feeble "hurrah J!
and then returned to the chorus Of "fire
fire.
In the meantime those heroic men on the
roof" were vainly trying TO get something
ou, of the ex,inguisber and our President
was bawling at the top % his voice, "Why
d,nt il squir' why don't it squirt"
But just as some one said, squeeze IT!
they found il was empty. and it only missed
our Presidents bead by one inch as it bounded
to the ground, and silently and sadly With