The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-12-01
Wit and HuniOr.

TWEED evidently doesn't believe in
small sails and quick returns.
CARD of an absconding debtor" For
further particulars, see small bills"
WHY is Christmas like a general mis-
take Because il is comm nearer
common error.
ALL men are not homeless, but some
men are home less than others.-NeW
Orleans Republican.
SOCRATES says that "the hottest love
has the coolest end" Xanthippe had
probably made the old man sit out on
the doorstep all night Yonkers Ga
zette.
HUXLEY contends that frog is only
bird without feathers and 80 fish-ball
must be only base ball with the wrap
per knocked of, and stone is only an
apple-dumplng gone to seed.
"CHAM" in the ChGrivari-A long
line of gibbets, ornamented with Serbs,
the last of whom is being strung up by
the Turks. That is how they interpret
suspension till next March"
UNRRpoRrRp "atrocity" in the city:
City miscreant "Where did you
go this autumn'" Brown-Scarboro."
"Well, did you enjoy your holiday, or
did you take your missis Punch.
A FASHION WRITER in New York says:
"The difference between fashionable
hat and fashionable bonnet is very
simple. One is worn over the ear and
the other is worn over the nape OF the
neck"
SCHOOLGIRL of 7-"Say, Johnnie
when you was in No. 8 did you have to
put your hands behind you and bow like
this (bowing)?" Johnnie, aged 8 ICON
temptuously)-" No. g! don't remem-
Der when l aoas in No. g."
A SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher was giving
lesson in Ruth. She wanted to bring
out the kindness of Boaz in command
ing the reapers to drop large handfuls
of wheat. "Now, children" she said,
"Boaz did another nice thing for Ruth.
can you tell me what it VAST" Married
her !" said one of the boys.
The editor of the st. Louis Dispatch
takes much pains to show that ne isn't
bald-headed. GA woman's hand" he
says, show beautifully nodded how
faultless in symmetry! how soft and
of gentle memory its pressure conveys.
Yet we don't like it in our hair"
AN athletic specimen of the Emerald
Isle called on wharfnger for a job.
"The top o. the mornin' to We, Muster
p, I've been told that ye're in want of
help" "I've but little to do" replied
p, with mercantile gravity. "I'm the
very boy for yees! It's but little care
about doing the money I'm afther,
srre!"
ONE night we were sitting out of
doors in tue moonlight, unusually silent,
almost sad. Suddenly, some one-a
poetic-looking man, with gentle, lovely
face-said in low tone Did you ever
think of the beautiful lesson the stars
teach us? 2" We gave vague appre-
ciative murmur, but some soulless clod
said emo; what is it'll" "How to
wink" he answered, in q sad, sweet
voice.
The editor of the Franklin (Ky.) Pat
riot, more blessed with labor-saving
machinery than the majority of his
brethren, thus chants the praises of q
useful invention:
T'other evening were lying
In our sanctum vainly trying
To invent some local items for our valuable sheet
When /" fend," who thought us sleeping,
To our desk came softly creeping,
Picked up some late exchanges and then started for
the street.
Then the air grew denser thicker,
As our old " Bogardus Kicker
Raised the grim, audacious stranger through the
window with a crash
Just lifted him neatly
That he disappeared completely,
With his shoulders ornamental with shattered
window-sash.
And the stranger still is hieing
Through the atmosphere a-fying,
With flag of truce" protruding through the hole
" Bogardus" tore;
And the soothing thought comes DER us
That he never more will bore
Never come to steal exchanges from our sanctum
any more.