The true northerner., 1876-09-01
Pith and Point.

SPRINKLE ashes on the icy sidewalks.
A DIFFICULT lock to pick-One from q
bald head.
THEY pretend to have young lady in
st. Louis so kind-hearted and lazy that
she will never beat an egg.
AN Indiana man has just been neatly
scalped by stroke of lightning, and he
speaks of it as very wigged perform
ance.
KIDNER is the looking glass than the
wine glass, for the former reveals our
defects to ourselves only, the latter TO
our friends.
IT is suggested that the display Of
coffins ut the Centennial must be in
tended for the special benefit of the
deadheads.
A WAC, noted for his brevity, writes
to friend to be careful in the selection
of his diet. He says, "Don't eat Qcum-
bers /; they'll W-up."
FROM boys composition on hens, in
the Boston Courier. CT cut my uncle
Williams hens neck off with hatehet
and it scared her to death"
The Turks are trying to compel tho
citizens of Bucharest to take an oath on
the Koran. See herei Isn't it abont
time to give that Bucharest.
SYMPATHY is sweet-sweeter than
moonshine or molasses-but you can't
safely fool around a sea-sick man with
too much of it, so long as he has strength
enough left to kick.
"SMALL thanks to you," said a petu-
liant plaintiff to one of his witnesses,
"for what you said in this case" "Ah,
sir" replied the witness, "but Just think
of what I didn't sayl"
"MY DEAR" said a gentleman to his
wife, "our new club is going to have all
hehome comforts" " Indeed % sneered
the wife; "and when, pray, is our home
to have all the club comforts 2"
THIS is the season of the year TO get
off the old joke about the city girl who
goes up to the COW yard fence, and, draw
ing her muslin dress up and about,
says cOyly, "Oh, cousin John which
is the COW that gives the buttermilk ?"
A sHoEMAKER's son has secured the
naval cadetship in Fernando Woods
district, and it is hoped it is not the last
of him, but that he will toe the mark,
welt the enemy if he ever gets chance,
and get his share OF the booty.-N y.
Com. ADJ.
A CHINAMAN's teeth began to chatter
over the ice cream. He buttoned up
his jacket and swallowed another
mouthful. That settled it. He jumped
from the table and started to where the
sun could shine on him, exclaiminR.:
"Whoopeel Plenty cold grub No
cookee nufll Fleece belly all same Like
ice wagon /"
On recent Sunday at Lowell, Mass,
o collection was taken up at one of the
churches. As the box reached pew oc-
cupied by lady, her daughter, and little
son, the two former found themselves
without cent of money. Master Hope
full reached over and deposited cent in
the box, and then whispered to his Sis
ter, "There, just saved this family
from being whitewashed."
wORKINGMAN WORSHIP.
We may differ in some things-may differ in all,
We are some for the Factory-some for the Hall;
We may look mp 20 Cotton or on IL look down
President wish for, or revrence the Crown:
But (so long az 10 office assist us he can)
We all love and respect, sir the true WorkiDgman-
Yes all other titles we place under ban,
For the highest Of lordships my Lord Workingman
Punch.
81 GIVE and bequeath unto Mary, my
wife, the sum O. Gl00 year." SAID an
old farmer. "Is that written down, mas
teri" EYES" replied the lawyer; "but
she is not so old; she may marry again.
Won't you make a change in that case2
r. n.
the farmer "well. write again give
and bequeath unto her the sum Of f2OO
year. Thatll do, won't it, masterG"
"Why, it's just double the sum she
would have if she remained unmarried"
said the lawyer; "it's generally the
other way-the legacy is lessened II the
widow marries again" "Ay," said the
farmer, "but him as gets her1l deserve
/ "A ~