National Republican., 1876-12-12
Yatiaual gepnbIitaa
CURIOSITY SHOE.

/ NNN~HNN
CURIOSITY SHOP.
/ The ashes were olcott by DePalm's
executor.
-Rui1e boy 10 figure of Justics-"PuIl
down your scales"
-Congratulatory to the late Mr.. Palm
well done, good and faithful servant.
The drunksrd generally speaks thick;
MS voice has sort Of guttsr-au sound.
Marrow winding stairs''-.hat tells
tie whole story Of the Brooklyn horror
-Rumored that some daring person IA
about TO take the Field-msaning Kate
"A young lady in Paris sneezed for
twenty-seven hourss She was up to snuff
Prominent men who have been on the
fence are now getting down on the warm side.
Your ears deceive you." says the
Courier-JournGL Try 5 smaller pair" Heys
| "A Hoboken woman is so clesnly that
she uses two rolling ping, one for ple-crust and
/ the other for her husband Shead.
4 The most lsconic will on record is that
Of man who wrote 81 Esve nothing; owe .
crest deal-the rest give % the poor"
| -Flotow has new opera called ''The
IN Harlem to suit the health Of lew W York. % AA''
| Last words of q distinguish ed lady:
'ProInise, my desZ, that I shan have q SIX
months, faneral, aud that it shalF se advertised
in sNthe papers,"
When the farce of "Adaus and Eve"
was lstely brought out In New Yors -IsOne Of the
ladies wanted to play Eve because the dresses
were so expensive.
Waco, Texas, was convuEseG with
laughter &c the sight Of young man ID beaver,
Of cotton into town.
When st. John, n. B., bows get
drowned whse Skating, the daily papersof the
o disaster map showing tie
To obtain the necessary sinews of war
the Russian GoFerrment has issued notieesthat
from and after thelst of January next the iEport
duties must be psitin gold.
When Tom Thumb voted at the last
election three-yezr.old Connecticut boys stjod
around and looked dfsgusted because that little
shrimp could and thsy couldn't.
Hickory nuts make an evening pass
smoothly and man tlesses them, but when he
gets to plunging around barefoot over the shucks
LETT on the floor, he gI5ws angratefuL.
An Iowa physician says no man who
ases tobacco can tell tAe truth. The miserable
reprobate, judging fron'the sire of the falsehood,
must use about pound Of the weed day.
The fire-escape Will DOW be the subject
Of many learned articles The articles will cease
finally, nothing having bssf done, to be presented
again as soon as the next dreadful accident hap
pens.
I When a country editor, not l0ngin the
harness, read IN his fashion exchange that ''many
English ladies wear full suits of ehamois," he
way tospen "rhemise."
-"This is very bracing weather, SIR"
said q bland landlord to az nhappy boarder.
"Glad to hear II, ;" was the reply Hope It will
very pale and weak of late"
. When q man has set no till midnight
writing poetryr and goes home. with his soul
rp with niP.rao6 pr Ion nOthtng Pisases him SO
has been eating eTacker there.
The speaker at an anniversary meeting
mournfully said= sOne by one,osr friends are
sWeii % eSsiafmed m IAN an old old ladyr % .you " Wouidn's
yOuP''
Taking cigar out of his mouth the
sleepingin sermon time: There is no sleeping
car on the road to Reaven." "And no smoking
wide awake.
"A negro held COW while cross-eyed
man was to knock her on the head with an ar.
The darkey- observing the mans eyes, in some
IoOk?" aYes:% "Dsn," said CaEee, shoid dis dis
COW yourself"
"A prudent Mormon, terrified at the
pre- spect Of hard winter and big Christmas bill,
he is so frghtfully intimidsted that it is doubtful
If the courts will be able TO get fair count on
him before spring.
"A pet flying squirrel in Bridgeport.
Z
who were sieS with II. 1t crawled into the bed
where the children la lay, and sfterward displayed
for by prominent physician.
What do you charge q quart for your
milk here?" asked man, as he put his head in
at the door of a milk shop. .Eight cents" was
mo-, Said the Propfistor; @ but" % sss he added added,
I'VE can soon make you some"
The Presidents message is very
practical doeanent, but 1t doesn't cover the whole
rr0 u.h hnAan Nnan al 10 60 kNaV
Of Polo, and the present rage for cardinal in fem
inine fashions is not discussed at all. These bold
omissions invite much criticism.
Clayton, N. Y, Is what the young
man Of the period would call "humling'' place
to live. They have "huggfng bees " there as q
fashionable winter amusement-an amusement
the youth Of both sexes much prefer to sliding
down q coasting- bank on a barreEstave.
"A new kind of non-explosive kerosene
oil has just been brought out, and the coroners oc
the republic are just kept busy running after fag
on the circulars, thrust red-hot wires into it to
show the customers how absolutely safe 1t is.
New Haven is to have q district tele-
graph, and it promises to prove great conyen-
fence to Yale theological students, who will thus
be able to have their demijohns promptly sent for
and replenished without the disagreea6le neces-
coats
When the first newspaper was started
in Japan the editor asked Japanese gentleman
# he wished to have the paper sent regular: "No,
gentleman % Of the old school, had no 0 idsa that s
newspaper contained fresh matter with every
issue.
An iDquisitive young man visited a
State prison, and among his questions asked a
girl the cause of her being in such a place. Her
answer was that she 'stole water-mlll, and
diately.
"A lawyer and a parson were talking
about which way the wind was. The former said:
I'VE go by the courthouse van,e." "And Ee,p
replied the parson, "go by tina church Ysne."
'sWell," said the lawyer, sin the matter Of wind
that is the best authOrity!'' end the parsoaswent
home to cogitate.
You remember the case of Mr.. Bergh
against the New York man who arose in the
night and kicked a cat OF into the AT from q
the Judge deciding that when man u bare
foot he can kick Thouas-cat till his toes giYa
out, If he wants to.
AT q recent duel near Paris one of the
s i Hs
with q club. This too hasty gentleman, WHO
moves in fashionable circles, has been challenged
by his own seconds for such an unprecedented
display Of bad temper.
The poultry journal asks, Glow can
poultry raising be made Profitablef" We pre-
sumo there are variety Of ways in which it may
be made to pay. but we never knew any man to
adopt 1t as profession and become popular In
this community, unless he located the hen-coops
dog OF nights.
A theatrical critic, who had both legs
and arms broken, all Of his ribs STAYED in and
one side of his head demolished by the falling Of
the floor of the opera house in Sacramento on the
18th Enthusiastically remarked as he was being
conveyed to the hospital on stretcher: This Is
the first time ever knew the Peak family to
bring down the house.
When a man jumped into an Ave lue
| car yesterday, and nearly smashed passengers
4 foot the victim cried out: "You are blundering
| ignoramus, and know It ~ az am, am l ?"
Eyes. you are ~ "Win you be kind enough"
continued the big man, as he took his seat, ''to
tell me whether your opinion Is based on the re-
| turns of 1872 or ls7i?"
The London At6sngun, says: eft is
only too common to divide the inhabitants Of
European Turkey broadly into Turks and Chris
| tians. We seem, however, to recognise the dis
tinct classes of Turks-the agricultural Turk,
who possesses all sorts Of primitive virtues In per-
| fection; the official Turk who plumbers, and the
shi-bazouk, who murders.
The bouffs sheets of O6enbech's are
| looked for in every steamer. But they come not.
i We fear they have seduced the sailors and cap
tain from the path of virtue. That noble steamer
will yet be seen flying the black flag one mast
4 n-.ak ..Gfr1 ~