The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1876-05-18
Why MIR. Dunncr Called.

in Il certain suburban village, was
sitting in his sanctum the other day
writing a leader on the subject of
"The Reign ofCorruption," Mr.. Dun
ner, the book-canyasser, came in
The following conversation ensued:
Dunner-"I wish to-"
COIL don't want any"
Do say that / desire to-"
Col.-"NIakcs no difference; | don't
want it."
D,-"To see you a few moments
alone in order to"
Col.-"No use, I've got closet full
of 'em at home already. Shut that
door after you when you go out, will
you? Good morning"
Do don't think you understand
me. called"
Col. 20, yes 1 do. I understand
you perfectly, Mr. Dunner. | know
exactly what you want. You've
got under you arm some samples
sheets of life of Christopher Column
bus, which is to be issued in numbers
at fifty cents apiece. 1t is full of
prepostcrous old pictures of Column
bus landing on the shores of the new
world with three Or four people
around him, dressed like the ghost
in Hamlet, and dozen or twonakod
natives bowling down before him, and
wondering what in the thunder he
means by standing there waving a
nag with Uuu hand and brondishinG
his sword with the other. That's
what you've got, and you want me
to subscribe for it."
D.-"Nothing of the sort, sir"
Col.-"Or else you've got u speci-
mon copy of new illustrated history
of the United States, with cuts of
Gen. Washington's horse standing
on three legs, while .cannon ball
whistles by him which George is try
ing to catch in his hat. And it has
in it u lot of portraits of celebrated
Americans which look as if they
were drawn to go on rag babies, and
representation of the battle of Bun
ker Hill, in which one man is lying
on the ground while another sticks a
bayonet in him, and all the rest hud-
die aroundhim anddon't doanything.
I've seen 'em often, We use 'em for
starting the fires up at our house.
You can't sell any tome"
D.-"You are very much mistaken,
Colonel; L"
Col,-"Oh, well, it makes to differ
ence. It's something or other of that
kind. A life of the Signers, maybe,
with wry-nccked American eagle
screaming on the title-page; or Adj
ventures on the Plains, written by
some bald-headed lunatic who's been
out there skoeting round among the
Indians, or q Farmers Guide which
instructs the agriculturist not to
knock his watermelons of the trees
until they get yellow; or some such
slush rs that. I've had lots of fem
But Pm not buying any now. So
good morning; / see you're in hur-
ry."
D.-"Coloncl, the fact is that |
want oput an advertisement in your
paper"
Col,-"And adyertisc-why, sit
down, my dear sir, Excuse me for
keeping you standing, Take chair
There, now, Now what for your"
D,-"I have here a very interest
ing and valuable book, the Life of
Bishop Potts, the Mormon Saint.
Loot at it, 1t gives and inside view
of Mormonism, expose all their mys-
tcrics, tells q story which must thrill
the soul of the entire nation"
Col,-"Capital book; excellent; the
very thing to sell; just what the PEG,
pie want, Now you want to advcr-
tiso it, do your
D.-"Yesj I'd like to have this
prospectus inserted ten times"
Col,-"Ton-yesj ten fiftoon--ono
hundred and fifty at ten cents a line
is iftoen-yeS, fifteen dollars,
D,-"You think it will help the
book?'
Col.-"Think2 | know it. All al
book like that wants is to have pub.
lie attention directed toit Pcoplo'll
just 60 for it,"
D.-"Andnow about payingEor the