The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-05-18
WHOLE NO. 1910.
Miscellaneous.

The ladies like 20 see grccnbacks con.
verted into pinbaeks.-tN. Y. Graphie.
what {. tho next thing 10 a hen steal.
mgr Why, cock robin. 10 be sure.
A bald-headed man peddling hair
restorer wrs the confusing spectrcle pre-.
sented TO Oar bury n the past week
[Danbuiy News.
A Departing husband asks the Ledger
how 10 elevate an illtempercd wife.
Get her ire up, wo should Say II Nor.
wieh Bulletin.
The principle objection 10 female bar.
bcrs is that they're too apt 10 turn their
customer heads.-tN. y. Com. Advert
ser.
Vaccinate. Poiiteness never hurts
anybody. Smallpox will not attack you
if you allow u 10 take your arm.-IN. y.
Graphic.
A frontier Texan who was askcd " he
was going 10 attend the Centennial En-.
hibition. ruilslcssly replied; I'D like
10. but III have 70 put Il OF till next
year.
Another domestic explosion is immi.
nent In an Iowa household One of the
boys accidentally swallowed a pistol car.
fridge Last week.-IN. y. Conf Adv'r
Lace u what rufiisa the men nova.
dAys.--lEx. You are wrong. Lace ruf.
lies the women as usual 10 l. tho paying
Tor a that RULES tho mem Norristown
Herald
A dangerous rival 10 the editor Of the
Chicago Times has been discovered In a
Rhode Island man who has been lying
in one position for nine years.-[ Nor.
wieh Bulletin.
An editor we'll known ia the vicinity
Of Irvington, \. y. very religious sort
Of chap. awoke In church iast Sunday
morning. and yelled out D ~
more copy"
AZ the recent election In Minneapolis.
where women voted. they ureathsd the
saliotboxes with flowers 10 cover up tho
tobaccojuice decorations Of Last year
n. Y. Graphic.
A father bent on instruetinF his three,
year-old son said. "if you had three
apples and should give me one. how
many would you have lsftT n would
Mt do IL, pa" was the prompt reply.
The disgusted Britisher who concluded
that the American national tune was the
spit toon. l. revising Shakespeare for
young Yankees. lie has got a. far a.
T" Tis true 'tis spitiy, and spitty tis. tis
true"
The New York Sun Of a late date con.
tAins an article giving advice % a Young
convert" The editor Of the sun should
print some'"advice 20 an old sinner. and
read i six times a day.-lNorristown
Herald.
An indignant country editor wants 10
know on what grounds the Centennial
LIanagors propose 10 keep the show
closed on Sundays That's easy. Tho
Exhibition grounds. Of eourse.-lN. Y.
Coml Adv'r.
An exchange asks. What arc our
young men doing7 We cant answer for
the rest OF the country. but around here
they are engaged mainly In trying 20
lead a nine dollar existence on a seven.
dollar salary 4 Norwich Bulletin.
McCrispin-"Quite right 10 get pair
OF shoes, Molly. your iut ill look Elegant
in leather" Molly-"But sure ! can't
pay for them till ChristEiaa." McC. faf
ter = thoughtful pausc)-"Troth. and 10
is pity TO hide such purity iut. aeuah-
A woman who went 20 a concert 10
hear Blind Tom play by ear. writes
that she was swindled, aud wants us 90
expose the fraud. She Gays that instead
Of playing BY ear. he played with his I'm
gers. just like other performers-lN Nor
ristown Herald
A gentleman In this city has a pair Of
pantaloons which were worn BY one of
bic ancestors hundred years ago They
are made Of home spun cloth. except the
sect. which 10 Of thick leather. IL IL In.
ie. red from this that the original owner
was a book agent Norwich Bulletin.
How terrific must DO the molecular &C.
lion In the brain Of man who comes
home at one o'clock In the morning sinE.
Inr Too raj. coral oddv. and mistakes
bis wifc's patent hustle. standing pale
and rigid in tho corner. for the spirit oi
biz deceased motherin.law - GLOBE
Democrat
A Maryland man has sent 10 She New
FORK sun two pills which he says are a
certain cure Tor hydrophob.a. Nilo has
tent them 20 the right place. No ono
,an read the sun ten minutes without
the conclusion that the editor
s mad-especially AZ Grant for not giy.
ng him an Office Il Norriatown Herald
Mr.. o'Flyn inhsriis tendency 70 lli.
5crnicisms. lie asked : conductor the
,ther day whether he ever made trips
without any passengers Tho conductor
replied that IL sometimes happened 20.
Well thin" said Mr.. oFlyn. thought
ully, its strange. but In all the rides
I've taken. nivcr see the loike o that
The enthusiastic choir master who
adopted Hold the Fort AZ q procession
II has been dismissed BY the rector. lie
considered IL personal when the choEistcr
burst forth:
See tho mighty host advance.
Satan leading on.
Every cellar should be rciuvenated Ia
The Spring There are many ways Of do.
ing ID. hut the most popular is 10 take OF
gour coat. look around the apartment
declare the family u not safe another
lay with the cellar in such a condition,
md then 60 down 10 the grocery and try
md think OF something else Danbury
News.
Fond mother TO old gentleman 20
whom her son - apprenticcdl Il am
sorry TO say. sir. that Harry wont DO
able 10 come 10 work for some little time.
The doctor says that he has got brain
fever old gentleman Then tho
doctor 10 - fool. madam. for the
boy hasn't got any more brains than
than a donkey. ma'am.
The times are improving rapidly.
That shower Of mutton Ia Kentucky has
been followed by shower Of eggs In New
York State. aud shower Of oysters and
hsh chowder In Wisconsin. And the
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