The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-07-20
PUNGENr PARAGRAPHS.


WILLIAM PENN subdued the savage
red man with kindness. But in those
days the Penn was mightier than tie
sword.
HERBERr SPENCER says the gold rig
now worn by married women is the
sign of the iron ring that was worn
about the neck or ankle in olden times,
and indicated the submission of tks
wearer. Mr.. Spencer is bachelor.
PAPA: I" oh, don't talk of it, How
on earth your uncle could have been
such d" (Stops-the word was
out before he noticed the child). Mas
ter Tommy: "Oh, don't mind me, pal
It's an expression L often make use of
myself"
No reputation is safe in these days.
Prof. Huxley demonstrates that the
horse is an evolved form of the orohip-
pus. This scandal would never have
come out if the horse hadn't been run
ming for something.-Butdlo Express.
"SEE here, my bright fellow, just give
my shoes a good shine-up-a regular
25-cent one~and I'll pay you the next
time | come around" "Can't do it,
mister; it's gittin' trusted for two-shll-
lin shine-ups as is jest ruinin' this
country, an bringin' on the hard
times" And he moved down the street
for cash job.
BLAINE's sunstroke has had a power
fully diminishing effect on church at
tendance. The great minds all over
the country have taken warning by his
sad fate and wear a cabbage leaf in
their hats on week days and sit, like
Abraham, in the door of their tents all
day on Sunday, watching the thermom-
eter and waiting for three men to come
round the corner.
ONE day last week aresident of Jack
son Corners took his first ride on the
Rhinebeck and Connecticut Railroad.
A seat on the locomotive was accorded
him, at his request, by the courteous
engineer, ''Lew." Our friend was very
inquisitive and observant withal, ana
closely watched the movements of the
engineer-the iron horse was novelty
to him. Occasionally slew" would
slet her out" and every pulsation of
the huge animal would cause an ex-
clamatiOn of delight from the country
man. They soon arrived at Rhinebeck,
where they stopped, when jackson
Corners" went privately to the engineer
and said: 81 see how you start the
thing, | see how you stop her; but tell
me how the deuce you steer her around
these ERE curves. ."-Rhine6eck On. "
Gazette.
COLONEL FINNIGAN was a Florida
planter, wealthy and hOspitable. Toward
the poor he was always kind, and even
the shiftless he would not turn eOldly
away. A man who had often been the
object of his bounty was named Jake
Hartruff. Jake was a squatter in the
woods, where he had log cabin and
a small clearing. Upon this land he
sometimes raised corn, and with his
gun he captured game. Of the game
he ate the flesh, and the skins he traded
for whisky. Long before the winter
was over he was sure to be out of corn,
in which emergency he would bring his
bag to the Colonel for supply, which
was generally furnished. Once upon a
time Jake came with his bag very early
in the seasOn-in fact, winter had just
set in. "Why, how's this, Jake?" de-
manded Finnigan. "Seems to me you
are rather early in your call for corn"
"Well, Colonel, fact is, my crop failed
this yer season." "Failedi How is
that? l thought this had been an un-
commonly good season for corn"
''Ya'as, 1 s'pose it has, Colonel; buty'
see L forgot to plant"