The New York herald., 1876-03-17
PERSONAL INTELLIGENCE.

Westchester boy handed minister a euchre deck
and said "Ive been converted, and don't need them
any more"
The Pittsburg Commercial asks, "Quis custodiet
todes?n Clymer; but we don't know whether he Gust
odiet or odes.
England wants to help poor Walt Whitman. This ID
good return the help that Americans gave to Her
bert Spencer.
Says an exchange:-"santa Anna advises Mexcans
tivated cattle nippers.
The Egyptians used to worship onions but as Ameri
cans we get down to becfseak and onions with teari
meet for repentance.
In French play the plot shows that the late Ameri
can rebellion was caused by President Lincoln impos
ing a tax absnthe
Wisconsin paper says 'Mr. Otis stopped drinking
and his third set OF teeth out" wo why didn'i
he put them in again?
The women lobbyists are coming to grief Who ia
the strange woman close custody OF the Sergeant
alarms at Wizards Hotel?
Pnchback says, ~ have been stabbed 10 she
house of my friends" StabbedS You were hit right
over your paper collar with 7x9 brickbat
''Prax'' wants to know whether that shower in Ken.
lucky was of bird beast devil9 Bird for there
were hairs in the hash. A-hash- you 'ear-us?
When DIR. Mary Walker was confronted with the
bogus Dr. W. she looked derisively the detective
and sneered rha amt pants; thom's prll-back you
fooLn
Boston scientific sociologst and all that says q
man cats most when he is alone. With nobody in the
house with the diner it little surprising how
he will play lone hand.
After all what right has legislature elected by the
people, officially 10 condemn a committee chosen by
representatives elected by the peoplcs II might more
reasonably condemn its two Senators chosen by itself
in the namc of the State
The Oneida Community, which practises promscu.
OF the soxes has been tolerated because has
heretofore minded its own business and bothered no.
body Now that it purposes to disseminate its doc
trncs by means of newspaper decent people may
fight back
sam Bowles, enthusiastic in economy, says that
when French family OF moderate circumstances re-
ccives company OF tho family retIres to make
place at table. How much better, in America, s
give little pieces all round and bake the pancakef
smaller.
Danbury Ne,cs.-"It has come. We thought u
would The moral of the Beknap affair is simply that
public officials should live without ostentation The
man who AFFORD to spend $40 900 year should live
on $780, and put tho in bank for the encourage
ment OF the man with a salary Of $1,000 The only OBJ
lection possible TO make against this plan is the
scarcity OF banks"
Norristown HerdId:-"Thc japanese saloon keen.
ers must do a large credit business A Northampton
county man has contracted to ship rs, 900 states "a
Japan"
Phil sheridan, in fatigue cap, peering out into
the night and saying 81 wonder where in Chicago the
darncd Gro is" Then voice said, "Philip don't
scaic the baby so"
Nothing Will make woman so mad on Sunday
morning, when sho is squirting across the street IA
sec that delayed bonnet so in to find she hasn't
been holding the cup under the coffee mill
The Couricr-Johr twiddes its thumbs and thinks
that sharon the ferryboai man on the classical
styx The Courier Journal ia Charonoal. and that's
what Styx us.
y physician says that many man with delirium
tremcns-ts killed by keeping from him the necdiuI
smulant Arc we to believe that when tho Secrctary
sees a snake he should hot Scotch il?
Papers like the Worcester Prcss are talking about
having the scholar in politics. Tho truth is that som,
OF tho most partisan aud wrong headed men in Con-
gross arc well educated. Andy Johnson was not
SCHOLAR but lie a statesman and ruthless old
Ben Wade, with his good square guess at truth, aid
moro popular good IN his time than scholarly John
Randolph did ia his.
Missouri farm contains fountain OF whitcwash,
and all the owner has to do to take his house TO
the spring and have the job Immediately done Thush
avoided that disastrous experiment Of standing in an
old plug hat and linen dustcr on a tipsy stool ihs
backsiars end trying to lay on smooth without gst
ting a drop in your eye