The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-10-05
Items Of Inter est.

A Chinese soldier, at Soochow, had
his head cut off for patting girl on the
cheek.
Two farmers in France recently fought
with thrashipg rods, and one killed the
other after ten minutes exertion.
Milk is slow stuff to steal when il has
to be taken from the COW. Adam Grei-
mer, of Kentucky, got shot in the leg
the other night while doing it.
The old mans toast: "It's hard
work to keep your sons in check while
they're young it's harder to keep them
in checks when they grow older"
The Chesapeake (Md.) Chesapike is
new paper. Here is the editors
salutatory: "What I have to say to
this community will be said gradually. !"
The German empire has now nine
military schools, five schools of subal-
terms, and nine of cadets. Four addi-
tional schools for subalterns are soon to
be opened.
Mother" Now, Gerty, be q good
girl, and give Aunt Julia kiss, and say
good night" Gerty-" No, mo- If
kiss her she'll box my ears, like she did
papa's last night"
"But that juryman is deaf" expostu-
lated man at the opening of case.
"Oh, that's all right" whispered a
bailiff, in reply, "the sheriff's told him
on piece of paper what kind of a ver-
dict is wanted"
Said gentleman, we'll known fancy
farmer, to some guests at his country
seat on the Hudson "Will you have
milk or champagne, my friendsG ?" ad-
1
much as the other"
Advertising in the bull's-eye of trade.
The successful business team is that
which advertises most. Now is the time
to make the shots tell, when thousands
of spectators have assembled to see the
fun and distribute prizes.
All Lee, of St. Louis, is what his
name implies-a Chinaman. His wife is
Irish. OF their progeny, the boys are
Enthusiastically Irish, and the girls are as
clearly little Celestials as ever had their
feet cramped in babyhood.
When you see a young man and
woman leaning over the garden gate in
the twilight, and hear sound like the
"squash" OF potato bug beneath
farmers heel, you instinctively feel that
there has been climax of two souls.
The immigration from England to the
United States last year was almost pre-
cisely equaled by the numbers returning
from thence. More than 81, 900 persons
left for the United States, and more
than $4,000 returned to the British
isles.
A man may love domestic quiet and
harmony enough to keep his mouth shut
while his wife's relations are in the
house, but when he sees one of his fine
rufled shirts on his brother in law,
what wonder if he feels he must 90 down
in the cellar and shovel coal or burst.
A stranger who called recently at the
Office of newspaper, on the day of its
publication, was surprised to find no.
tice on the door saying " Office closed.
Paper pill be out tomorrow" Upon in
quiry, it turned out there was base.
ball match in progress in the suburbs,
and all hands had gone out TO witness it.
Itisa curious fact that in the salt mines
of Poland and Hungary the wooden pill
lars supporting galleries are foand to
last unimpaired for ages, in consequence
of being impreguated with the salt,
while pillars of brick and stone, used for
the same purpose, crumble away in a
short time from the decay of their NOR
tar.
Investigation tends to confirm the
story that Samuel Lester was recently
buried alive at Shelter island. His
health had been uncertain for several
months, and, after partaking of hearty
meal, he suddenly fell in what the doc
tor, who was called at once, declared an
apoplectic fit, and he was pronounced
dead.
Mr.. Tompkins," said young lady,
who had been showing off her wit at the
expense of dapgler, "you remind me
of barometer that is filed with moth
ing in the upper story" "Divine Ju-
lia," meekly replied her adorer, in
thanking you for that compliment let me
remind you that you occupy my upper
story"
A hydrometer for testing the proper
tion of water in cider has come into use
in New England. The test, however,
does not indicate which has the most
pleasant flavor, but simply determines
the amount of water in the cider,
whether it came from the apples, or was
poured in to reduce the strength. Cider
made from grated fruit contains the
most water. A miserable knurly apple
will produce the highest grade of cider,
according to this standard.
A good story is told of dispute en-
tered into by Scotchman and an Eng
lishman, as to which of their respective
countries had produced the most emf
nent men. Every name was claimed by
the Scotchman as that OF man who had
been born north of the Tweed, till
finally the Englishman said: "Surely
you won't claim Shakespeare as 9
Scotchman ?" "Weel," replied the
canny Scot, if Shakespeare wasna &
Scotchman he was clever enough to be
ane."