The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1876-10-02
s ram Will expiain itself. Nottx1g but the
,,,nst 1,rrAs,t h,sin ass would have pre-

;Inost urgent business would slaye ptegeRtseas
nav EeeniYg MY efgage Tterltss anu 8 Ieeir
confident, from The Ideas you have ofcef
expressed TO me respecting the necessity OF
attending strictly TO the 6. B,l q, I need no
further apology for my absen lou VIE
doubtless have many another gun WITH Y you,
and IL the phrase OF IS the more the mer-
rier ;, can be applied TO pheasas 9! Dung,
that 81 g the fewer the better cheer !, Is Ger.
tainly still more to the purpose: a fuller
bag will, hope, conpe nsate for the ab-
scncc Of yours, most faithfully,
afARXADUKE MARTTEGALE."
Then leaving the envelope open, pro-
ceeded to concOct the telegram:
& g From the Secretary OF the Great Butter
Company (LimitedA Cornbily to Marina.
duke Martingale, Esq, Military, Naval, ana
Militia Club, Pail Mail. Declarations have
been discovered In the company's accounts
I am. therefore, compelled to summon m
extraordinary meeting ofzthe Beard OF DE
rectors for "Wednesday next, when your
presence will be indispensable. !"
Tgaye this composition to the club COM
missionaire, an active, intelligent fel!oW
whom had often employed, and sent hIm
off to the nearest telegraph office. cascu-
lated that IL would return to me in teie-
graphic form in about quarter OF an hour
at aurthest. But, as it happened, It did NOT.
had an engagement for that afternoon at
Nottingham, and was obliged to leave the
club before the arrival OF the expected doc
ument. However, as knew it must come,
and could place the utmost confidence IN
the porter, 1 left my letter with him, In
structing him to place the telegram inside 1t
as soon as it came to hand, and then to post IL.
The next morning found upon inquiry
~. oynH
more about the matter. The day after
| note, as had expected, arrived from Slow
combe, the contents OF which, however, |
did not expect: ),
"Sir,-I am astonished that you should
have the assurance to send me that tele-
gram from your place Of business. Ii you
imagine because your secretary has "bolt-
ed" and the "biessed concern" las your
friend terms what had understood from
you to be q sound commercial assoclatlon)
has "burst up,'' that shall not be disposed
to press for my g100, you are very much
mistaken. I have placed the matter In the
hands Of my solicitor, and remain, yours
obediently, THOMAS SLowC0MBE."
Had taken leave Of my own senses, or
had Slowcome taken leave Of his! "Bolt-
ed" wburst up" "blessed concern?"
No such words, / am sure, had ever been
contained in my telegram. What on earth
did it all mean? I did thing. which had
never done before, except upon the hrst
Monday in every Month. hurried to our
place of business in the city as fast as a ham
som could take me, and found the shutters
up. The office OF the G.. B. G. was closed,
Just as though the company had been de-
funct. Upstairs, however, found the
chairman looking at heap OF bills ana
gnawing his moustache.
"This is pretty piece OF work, captain
Martingale," said he; "ano we nave 70
thank you for it,"
/ "To thank me?" cried I. "What do
you mean? Is anybody gone mad? 1 have
done nothing-nothing."
"Perhaps you didn't send telegram 10
our secretary about defalcations! = Here II
/ is." And he tossed me over the message
had sent from the secretary to myself
transposed. That respectable and lntelll-
gent commissionaire had, it seemed, taken
it for granted that I had made mistake in
sending a telegram to myself, and suDstl.
tuted the word "from" for "to" and "to"
for "from" He thought, doubtless, he
was doing very clever thing, and one for
which should be much indebted to him:
The secretary really had, it seems, "de-
falcated" in small way, and getting my te!e-
gram Gnstead OF my getting ms ne tnouSnt
all was discovered; so laid his hands on
everything he could get and decamped. 1t
was the chairman himself who had wired
the news to me in that familiar style which
had so incensed Slowcombe: sour secre-.
tary has bolted and the blessed concern has
burst up.''
The Great Butter Company, in fact, was
nowhere, thanks to my little device for
avoiding pheasant-shooting The secretary
would probably never have fled, but only
have gone on defalcating slowly, but for my
was precipitated, including the compulsory
payment OF my debt to Slowcombe. 1t was
altogether a miserable fasco; and when I
hear fellows talking about the splendid re-
suits Of civilization, and "Look at the
electro-telegraph, for example, |" and "the
corps Of COMMISSIONERS !" I say to my
self but never mind what say; have
told enough to make it understood Why
! should not agree With them. .a-.
An Illinois girl couldn't secure certiIi-
| o,<a as a scboo1.teophpr becaTIsn she couldn't