The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-02-18
Wit and humOr.

THE esprit of '76"-Crooked whisky.
CARvERs of their own fortunes
Butchers.
WHEN man revolves much in his
mind does it make him dizzy9
(WHICH is the entrance out 2" asked
a man at railway station the other day.
The hens of France earn $4,000 a
year for their owners. Hens the proverb,
"Hensome is as heusome does.
"THE social element in business af-
fairs, >" is the pleasant way in which the
editor aludes to the female drummer
question.
If you were to ask old Father Time
how he felt, he would undoubtedly an
swer, "Sew-sew. So many persons
take a stitch in Time" you know.
THERE is nothing like going to bed.
In sleep all the cares and vexations of
fashionable life are forgotten, and indi-
viduals lie calmly down, regardless of
what they have on.
The Doylestown CPa.) HlteLIigencer
has just lost subscriber for rather a
novel reason. The individual had just
bought Bible, and he guessed he'd
have about as much new reading matter
as he could attend TO.
A RAPrURED writer inquiries: "What
is there under heaven more humanizing,
or, if we may use the term, more angel
izing, than a fine black eye in lovely
woman 2" Two black eyes is the only
answer thought of at present.
The owner of a pair of bright eyes
hot
she ever received came from child of
years. The little fellow, after looking
intently at her for moment, inquired
naively, care your eyes new onesl"
"PA, will YOU get me pair of skates
if / prove TO you that dog has ten
tails" eyes, my son" "Well, to
begin, one dog has one more tail than
no dog hasn't he2 eyes," "Wel, no
dog has nine tails; and if one dog has
one more tail than no dog, then one dog
must have ten tails % he got the
skates.
NJ ANEUvERING mamma anxious that
her daughters chief attraction should
not escape the notice of the very eligible
young man who is taking her the
daughter-down to supper).-" Maria
Maria !" Maria" Yes, mamma - Ma
neuvering mamma Gin loud whisper)-
"Take your eyelashes out of tangle,
darling !"-Panch.
SERVANT" Somebody wants to see
you, sir" Master Ga "shoddy," giving
his first swell dinner)-" 90 is hit2"
Servant" Don't know, sir" Master
"Well, well; but what's e like-is e
gentleman 2" Servant (who has evil
IDENTIFY been Casting -" No-o-o-o, sir,
not exactly gentleman, sir-just some
thing like yourself--."-London Fun.
A MORMON youth who had removed
from Iowa to Utah, whom a traveller
found tending sheep, said: 81 come from
IOway two years ago. Pap told us all
along the road that we were comm to
Zion. Well this is the cussedest old
Zion / want to see. I'd ruther have one
foot of land in Ioway than all these
mountaings of the Lord, an l guess the
Lord would too, if he'd ever seen
Ioway."
A GENTLEMAN on visit to Washington
very coolly opened the Senate Chamber
door, md was about to pass in, when
the do orkeeper asked, "Aro you a privi-
legged member 2" "What do you mean
ply was, "a Governor, an ex-member
of Congress, or a foreign minister" The
stranger replied that he was minister.
"From what court or country !" asked
the official. Very gravely pointing up,
"From Heaven, sir. y To this the door
keeper bluntly remarked, Nothing to
do with this place. Go away"
ONE of the colored residents of Detroit
was yesterday asked why he did not at
tend the poultry show. A glad smile
crossed his face as the word "poultry"
was spoken, but died away in moment
as the stern reality confronted him.
"Deres heaps O. chickens dere, hain't
dey2" he asked. eyes" "But dey
are all in cages, hain't dey9' eyes"
"And you want me to go dere and stand
around and gaze on dose chickens
which can't come out of dose cages, do
VOW! No, sab. 1 knows jess how I'd
feel, sab .'-Detroit Free Press.