The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-01-13
THE present time is past.

THE present time is past.
BARRIERS are well informed oa coming
events.
"D1p you notice how splendidly I
went through that last reel at the ball
last night, Tom r Eyes, and / also
noticed that you kept it up all the way
home ~
SOMEBODY says that ga single swallow
will devour 5000 flies a day." but we
don't believe it. An elephant could
hardly absorb that many at a single
swallow.
INEBRIATED gentleman who has fallen
down stairs to another who offered to
help him up s'Wharzeuse slabberin'
round fella' I allus come down stairs
that way!''
LITTLE HARRY, five years old, was
called to see the new baby. After a
moments contemplation, he turned to
his expectant papa with eve didn't
need that"
'sBoB," said a Camden boy TO play
mate, ''your fathers just been killed.
"No!" said Bob. " Yes, sir blown up
by steam boiler" answered the other.
"By gum, he's got my knife, tool" ex-
claimed Bob, thrusting his hands in his
pockets.
'sTHEY were talking of death yester-
day, when one man said: What were
his last words9' He didn't say any
thing, was the reply. That's just like
him. said the first man with an approx
ing nod. There was no gas about h1ml
He was all business. Dasa6atTy Nea0s.
The champion considerate man is he,
who, on being cast ashore at the Isle OF
Shoals at night, found the light-keeper's
hut, and slept, half-frozen, just within
the storm porch till morning, because, as
he said, f." he supposed the keepers We're
asleep inside the house, and wouldn' t like
to be walked up"
No MAN with an average amount OF
self-possession need be without an UNI
brella on a rainy day. ALI he has to do
is to step up to the first stranger he sees
carrying good one, and say: Beg
pardon, sir, believe you have my UNI
brella ~ The chances are ter to one
that the fellow will stanmer out an apol-
ogy and hand it DER.
A POLICEMAN was yesterday escorting
a citizen with his head bound up to the
Central Station, when kind-hearted
nan asked prisoner, what did you
doe" Made New Years call, : was
the answer. "But how-what-why-l
dom understand," said the citizen. 81
Go" Implied the prisoner-"I called a
man Ear. - Detroit Free Press.
A WOMAN called on the Chief of Police
Friday ami asked if it were true, as she
had heard, that the police meant to pro
hibit masked balls in the future. 81
can tell you nothing definite, " answered
the Chief. ''WeI, hope you won't, =
she continued "My husband was
knocked down seven times at the ball
week ago, and you ought to see how
good and kind he has been to the whole
family ever since. Free Press.
CODE I'D LIE HEAP.
Whichever you get code id de head
De best thidg to do is I'd go to bed,
But first id hot water soak your feet,
AID drigk bodeset tea, babe dot too sweet,
You viii have very dsbalvie of life;
Its deise, its turboil, its Anguish ad strife
Before your bis'rable soul Will loob,
Till you faid would prefer the siledt t0b.
Your eyes with water will Overflow,
Ad your dose-ah that is the swfulest blow =
viii ache ad grow thick ad red.
Dodt scode your wife; let her sOothe your paid;
She'll warb you ad love you, though all id valid.
Perhaps-oh! perhaps she will bake hot rub,
AID tuck you up dcey for kgdob kub.
Ad SO to sleep. Good digit good digit!
The world dow fails before your sight.
Good by, by wife, by babies dear;
l alb dot dead, but sleepig here.
The iq,ais tcyt,tats Of pleasure is chased
just as vigorously by the blacks, even
more SO than it is by tae whites, as wit
ness the following conversation First
Slovenly Colored Female" o, you old
persimmon bear!" Seconds. @. F., eject
ing painful of dishwater, which settles
on the sidewalk" I'slate dis mawnin J"
First S. G. F." How dates" Second
S. G. F.-'e Ovahslep myself" First
S. G. F.-"Dey's panty mex to yo'
house las night" Second S. G. F.
/" Yas-d dance. - Louisville Courier
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