The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-15
" Tie Snnils -

huet hCCP otlu upper up anC drive hoscU.
-TUpDer.
! Our fclOsiicr during the past week has been
keeping his cars open, and scissors sharp, and
has turned out few aphorsms for the cdlfca
ton of our readers. Thought bulgcs out in cv.
cry word and and line, to.wit:
Any young miss would rather have her cor.
sets tight than her Teller"
Always let your wife have her own way. II
saves lots of money which otherwise you would
have 10 cXpend for Hair Rcstorers.
A man with big nose isn't always handsome
but he's nobby.
The lives of good men all remind US
That our life may be made sublime,
BY remembering that what is due II,
May be paid at any time
The gay and festive fly and the pcnsiyc cock
roach and all the insects that had joined the in
visible host last fall are "prcachng" at Prof
Ticc. During the warm weather they concluded
to crawl out to enjoy the air, and swar,ncd
around the old paste pot in high style. They EN-.
joycd it; and SO did we. 1t reminded US of the
jolly Junc-bug and lager beer pic mics, and the
other luxuries Of life. But at noon on Sunday
came the climax, and in two minutes after the
first smell OF Alaska, not bug was lett. They
whipped on their overalls and mits and started
tail feathers in the wind, and with noise like
a rushing mighty wind that filled the room, y
disappeared, and now our new devil " will have
something TO cat again
The paragrapher o. the Trijunc ought TO have
his hair pulled and then he wouldn't care whcth.
er there vas new dance or no. lie said
An exchange says fashionable Young people
are calling upon somebody to invent new dance
suppose somebody invents one wherein the
young lady dances around the house and looks
after everything.
Now alnt that h-o.r.r-d."
1t il understood here that the Supreme Court
have decided that the city council Of Chicago,
who were adjudged guilty OF contempt Of Judge
Williams court, shall 20 to Jail for 30 days.
While 1t may be unpleasant for the members of
the council, the forty persons who won the title
of the ~ thieves will insure the public
against the dcpredstions OF the scalawugs for n
month.-InfdM.
That is probably the report OF column dcci.
sion, which the gentleman was going to write
out fora Chicago paper "In' ten minutes 1t
reminds us Of the Prenchman who wrote,
for prize, an essay on the elephant, and in
stead of going to the elephant country or to the
authorities sat down In his study ana manufac.
turcd glowing picturc of the animal from bis
Imagination. II was finely written but didn't
take the prize-thc judges being SO very unren.
sonablc as to expect .f5w facts. The above is
notcxactly parallel, for it has II few facts; the
only trouble being, however, that none OF the
facts arc true. Such glttcring array OF stupid
msstatcments could only come from the idiot OF
the Infant.
II MacFlecknuc had lived long enough to have
seen the Ipt,nt now, hc would have said Of him.
as he was compelled To say q; shadwclI, as quo.
ted by Dryden:
"'Iis resolved, for nature pleads, that lac
should only rule. who most resembles me.
BccIlus alone my perfect image bears,
Mature in dullncss from his tender years;
Bccnus alone, OF all my sons is he
Who stands confirmed in full stupidity.
The rest to some faint meaning make pretcnee,
But Bcemus never deviates into sense
Some beams Of wit on other souls may fall,
strike through, and make lucid interval;
But Bccmus genuine night admits no raw
His rising fogs prevail upon the day
And the reporters OF the conservation day
would have said, in their description Of the
scene;
AT his right hand, b)ozy Bcemms safe,
The Irt,u,fs hope. and fossil Of the state;
Ilis brow thick fogS, instead Of glories, grace,
And lainbcnt dizziness played about his face
The mother 81 uuc ~ the InI;u' carrier BOYS
etc.--ietdni.
One might think from that that they had d
dozen or two carrier boys. As We don't want a.
q" give the establishment away" W. won't say
how many they have.
The evening Irta., is for sale every day at ne
man lapemsn's news depot.
That's true enough, but we haven't heard OF
nnc hcin,, snld Tor ahnnf "a DAYS now INs ln.r