The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-09-28
look upon. The ashes which had been

captain, powdered for training day.
One long curl had dipped itself in the
hot water, over which she had been
standing in vain effort to scrub the stains
from her clothes, and it was straight
ened out as perpendicular as q candle,
and hung, dripping with water, down
her back. To finish the tout ensemble,
q streak of smut extended from her left
temple across her nose to her right
cheek, and at sight of the ridiculous
figure she made poor Nellie burst into
tears. This only made matters worse;
but Horace, like true hero, kissed
away the tears, SCOT and all, transferring
by far the larger portion Of the latter
substance to his own face. Then he off
coat, turned up sleeves, and announced
himself ready to assist about the dinner.
In this respect Horace was jewel, and
his wife blessed him for the generous
heart which prompted his ready SYM.
pathy. But his abilities as q cook were
in no wise equal to his will. He turned
the steak, and lost half Of it in the fire
through the bars Of the gridir0n, tsset''
the table with the cloth wrong side out,
the knives in the spoon-holder, the but
ter in the preserve-bowl, and mistook
the pudding dish for the meat-plate.
The potatoes were fished out Of the
pot, boiled to complete mash; not one
particle was left upon another; and
Horace, to his wife's dismAys insisted
upon straining potatoes and water
through the dish-cloth, in the hope of
saving the remains. M IS.
At last they sat down to dinner
bakers bread, suspicious-looking but
ter, meat, and o pie from the confec-
toner's. The pudding was to answer
for the dessert. -iltsess,t.
.'Is there tea or ceffee, dearestp"
asked Horace, looking dubiously over
the table.
"Goodness, if I didn't forget it!''
cried Nellie, springing up with such
force as to upset the castor, and send
the vinegar dancing to the floor. elbow
much tea will it take for us?''
81 don't know, I'm sure," said
Horace, slowly. "What does your cook
book say?''
Nellie consulted the work.
SIT says "a quantity proportionate to
the size of the family How much
would that be for us ?'' hA
s'Well, I don't know; about q cup
full, I should think.n
So cupful was put into the urn hot
water was added, and the two house.
keepers sat down and waited patiently
for the sleeping to be finished. At last
the tea was drawn; Horace sugared
and creamed it, and put the cup to his
lips. ,N pe
"Geod heavens!'' cried he, in dis
may; 6 it is strong enough to bear up .
long boat; and black, too. No more
black ink needed in this house yet q
while. We must drink water today.
There, there, never mind; twas all my
work"
Nellie's tears had begun to flow again,
and Horace leaned over the table to kiss
her forehead, upsetting the tea at the
same time into the bosom of his white
vest. The amount Of caloric contained
in the fnid was decidedly unpleasant,
and poor Horace, under the influence
of the pain, kicked over his chair and
broke the looking glass with the flourish
of his elbows. Then he begged Nell
lies pardon, picked up the chair, re-
moved the fragments of the mirror, kiss
ed his Niobe Of wife, and sat down TO-
finish his dinner. Alas, for bis.
appetite! The steak was moth
ing but q burnt cinder-outrage-t
ously detrimental to molars and
incisors; the potatoes were non est
and Horace saved all his powers for the
pudding. And he had need of them.
The dessert was brought on and pour
ed into its appropriate receptacle, and
Horace helped himself and his wife to
bountiful portions. 8isfa M /
ssTurk's Island! and crystalized
limestone!" cried he, dropping his first
mouthful back into his plate. sLOt's
wife must have been imported in the
last steamer. >, ps
"Why, Horacel" exclaimed Nellie,
in alarm, what is the matter with the
puddingP'' alsa aaagf Il
Saltsr than salitudusl Do taste,
Nell !ns3A.sss ss9 sfaAs
One nouthful was sufficient. Nellie's
pretty face was screwed up into . hum
dred FUCKERS. 8sss $50 ~
"Why, Horace, who would have
thought it? I only put in halt . cup
full. - atsAst3 sfs s7sya ~
Dinnerpassed offrather soberly. Nellie
was mortified at the i'll success of her.
hard work. Horace was obliged to quit
the table hungry, and we all know that
. man with an empty stomach, and the
prospect Of that organs remaining
thus, is formidable animal.
However, his good humor returned
directly He kissed Nellie good-by,
and left her to the task Of washing the
dishes no easy duty, BY the way. e
The dinner and its accompaniment
were but the prototype Of many another