The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-01-21
THE UNACCusTOMED QUID.
-
An Experiment. that Was Thwarted by
Interruption Just when IT'S
Success was Confident.
~ Expected.
From the burlington cpss.E se.l

gee published the statement that man
in New Hampshire, who had been una.
BILE TO speak for five years, went 10 sleep
one night, with quid of tobacco in his
mouth, and awoke the next morning
with his voice perfectly strong and
smooth and steady Old Mr. Jarvis,
who lives on Pond street, is sorely
afflicted with an impeachment in his
speech, and often says he would give u
hundred dollars il he could only "t-t-t-t
taw-taw-tolk f-Gfiast enough tt to TIT
tell a guggug-gugg grocer what he WV
wants Observation-Disclosures he gug-gug
gets it measured out. lie takes the
L0igr, and had taken it for twenty.
three years, and he firmly believed
everything he eyer read in il Sylvmus
Cobb stories, Mr. Beecher's sermons,
Mr., Partons lives of Eminent Amer.
cans, the answers to correspondent
Mr., Jarvis had taken them all in and
believed every word, lie thought that
probably this quid.ot'tobacco treatment
might help his voice little, and he re.
solved TO give it good trial anyhow,
The first trouble was that he didn't
chew, and Mrs, Jarvis would never
allow bit of tobacco about the house.
But he begged u big 'chaw' of navy,
and when he went to bed he chucl<ed it
snugly away in his check, and prepared
TO sleep in hope, He had his misgivings,
and they grew in number us the quid
began to assert itself and be sociable,
and asshnilate itself with its surround.
ings. Mrs. Jarvis asked him il he fast
ened the front gate
"Um,' said Mr., Jarvis, meaning that
he had. "And are you sure you locked
the front door, queried his restless
spouse i"Um,' replied Mr. Jarvis,
meaning that he had not, for he was by
this time in no condition to open his
mouth "HeyY she replied Um,'
persisted Mr. Jarvis "WhatY' she de-
handed "Um-m-m" protested Mr.,
Jarvis We'll you can't make me be-
lieye you are that near asleep this soon
"Um-m-m-m" said Mr.. Jarvis; meaning
that he would get up and bounce her
out of TINT front door if she didn't hold
her clack. Presently, she sat mp in bed
Sniff sniff John Jarvis, if ] don't
smell tobacco in this house" she ex-
claimed Il am II sinful woman. Don't
you smell it," M" replied Mr.,
Jarvis; which by Interpretation is that
he didn't smell anything and was GO
ing to sleep, Its in this very room, she
persisted, eXcitcdly. I'm said Mr.
Jarvis, meaning that she must he crazy
Its under the bed she screamed
There's n burglar under the bedY Oh
help fire. policel John Jarvisl and
she smote Mr., Jarvis furious pelt in
the stomach to wake him up, IT was u
terrific thump, and its first effect was to
knock all the atmosphere out of Mr.
Jarvis lungs so far that he could only
recover his breath by violent gasp
which first carried the quid OF tobacco
and all the nicotine preparation that
had been steadily dstilling down his
throat and was Immediately succeeded
by q tremendous cough, US he struggled
to rise up in bed which shot the quid
sQuarely into the eye of the shrieking
Mrs. Jarvis. Murder, murder she
screamed 4 Ill stbDDtul III StuDpeuI
And John Jarvis choked and coughed
and spit and coughed and choked and
clutched Mrs, Jarvis by the throat and
tried to choke oil her noise, but he grew
so 'ill' that he couldn hold his grip
and Mrs Jarvis, the moment her throat
was released from his trembling pressure
rose from the half strangled gtirgles to
the sublimity of double-edged screams,
and made Rome howl with melody
And the neighbors broke into the house
andsfound bedroom that looked and
smelled like jury room or street car,
with the sickest man they ever saw ly-
ing with his head over the side of the
bed, grooming at the rate OF mile a
minute, and the worst frightened wo-
man since the food sitting up beside
him, screaming faster than he groaned,
while one of her eyes was plastered up
with black quid of tobacco. and that
is the way Mr. Jarvis came to stop his
LETTER. and denounces IL as the most in
famous, mendacious, pestilent sheet
that ever disgraced American Journal
ism