American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-02-26

States, the reprehensible habit of !
carrying concealed weapons does
not prevail, and it is a rare occur
renee there for elegant gentlemen
to make targets of each other for
pistol practice on the public thor
oughfares. DuelliDg, too, is almost
wholly unknown in that land of tn
highest civil: at on; and the dub
Get note of the deadly derringer
never breaks upon the ear of the
law loving citizen. No, never
When the gentle denizen Of the 10y
al part of this centennial republic
wishes to refresh himself with gore,
to indulge his destructive tendency
on human life, he does not shock
the community by the use of noisy
pistols or shotguns; on the contra
~ he shows retiring modesty,
degree of consideration for the SEN
sibilities of his neighbors, that his
Southern brother is utterly incapa-
BILE of emulating. Actuated by this
feeling of delicacy, he secrets him
self on an unfrequen.ed country
road, with an axe for his implement,
aud quietly cuts off the head Of
some schoolgirl, just verging on
womanhood-as LaPage did to 10
sic Langmaid, in New Hampshire,
last fall. Or, he takes = walk with
his intended victim, and gently
probes her loving heart with Shoe
knife, (ulfiDishcd ami without a
handle, because such a knife is
cheap y as Pesach Rubenstien serv-
ell his cousin, the young Jewess, in
the eastern suburbs of New York,
during the December holidays. Or.
he dispOrteth himself with unob>
trusively firing a few houses, and
varies his pastime by poisoning a
family, sandwiching these PERFORM
ances with parricide-as did David
Skidmore. Esq, of Deer Park, Ny,
Lately. If these methods fail to suit
his fastidious taste, his ingenuity is
equal to the occasion: he can in.
wife his bosom friend to drink beer
with himself and spouse. en- famiHe,
and after the guest has become un-
susceptible to pain, by reason OF
rhe anesthetic qualities of the foam
ing beverage, he can decapitate his
visitor with his little hatchet :"
then, after choppIDg the body into
convenient pieces, be can pack it in
the pork barrel. meal box, and 9TH
er little receptacles for table sup
plies-as the hospitable Mr.. Fuchs
did his friend in village on Long
Island, some three weeks ago.
Thus, the good citizen of the North
avoids all noise no smell of villain.
GUS gunpowder taints the atmos
phere in those moral latitudes; and
he never makes q cbivafric ass of
himself by inviting his pet foe to
the "field Of HONOR SO called. 1t
Is only in the barbarous provinces
south of Mason aud Dixon's line,
that six-sbooters form an indis-
pensible portion of every gentle-
mans underwear. Thus, the tastes
aud customs of the sections differ.
Bnt, we suggest. the Southerners
ought to quit their clustering ways,
and kill their men quietly and sci
entifically, according to the refined
methods above mentioned. When
our "young bloods" have discarded
i"pops" and "bangs." and every gal
liant youth has become proficient in
the use of the shoe knife, the wood
axe, the finder box, or the "little
hatchet"-why then, but not till
then, the millennium of peace, the
true centennial of reconciliation,
will dawn upon our vision, and the
loyal North will be ready to clasp
hands with the reconstructed South,
across the "blOody sarcasm