The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1876-08-10
ORR DESSERT.

n man boast in q way we despise.
Cool drinks-Those taken Mt another
fellow's expense, without invitation
To falsehood paralyzed the tongue,
what death-like silence would pervade
society.
Accommodating a friend with q fifty
dollar note is an ex>L-lent way OF get
ting rid of money.
The extreme height of misery is a
small boy with a new pair OF boots ana
no mud puddle.
An Indiana man has just been neatly
scalped by lightning, and he speaks OF
it as a very wigged performance.
Soliloouy by a tippler-The public
ALWAYS notices you when you have been
drinking, and never when you are
thirsty. :.
"Have you much fish in your bag?'
asl,sd a person of a fisherman. "fes,
there's a good eel in it," was the rather
slippery reply.
The useless waste of money on we'd
dings and funerals calls for reform.
Extravaganza makes young men dread
marriage and death.
The suns rays focus on the earth
about this season of the year, and those
are the raysons for it being hot enough
to scorch II paper collar.
Henry Watterson POLITICALLY says that
ice is ''water gone to sleep" 1t has
every opportunity of going to sleep
while Henry is around.
s'You are a nuisance, I'll commit
you." said an offended Judge to n noisy
person in court. You have no right
TO commit a Nuisance" said the of
fender.
A Young lady, following a Shakspear-
ian play with the book, remarked to
her companion: "How imperfect those
actors are! None of them say exit
when they so off,"
4 person who was sent to prison TOR
marrying two wives, excused himself by
saving that when he had one she fought
him, but when he got two they fought
each other.
"Mrs. Spinks," observed a boarder to
his landlady, 1.-THE equal adjustment of
this establishment could be more safely
secured if there was less hair in the
hash and more in the mattresses"
Even during the heated term two of
our Western contemporaries got into a
grammatical dispute. It is singular
how men could be in such mood, while
the heat is In tense.
An Illinois judge has decided that q
washing bill cannot be collected, and
any experienced washerwoman will tell
him that he is right six times out OF
ten, which is probably better than the
average of his decisions.
1t is supposed that the reason gradu-
ates of female colleges are called bache-
lors of art instead of maids of art, is
that the former is a higher degree. Al
least the maids are always after the
bachelors.
This is the way a citizen Of Denver
advertises for a lost calf: "Rund away
i Red and vite cat. His tn be hint
leg vas plack, he vas q she calf. Eui
potti vat prings him pack pairs 5 tollars
Jacob zuddering, Clear Creek, three
miles pehind the pridge."
A brave young man in a neighborine
town got periodically intoxicated thu
other night, and while in that condition
resolved to aveuge Clusters death-ant
next morning not one sound woodel
Indian could be found in the place.
In a suburban school a teacher CAV
out the word ''psalter" to a class il
spelling. 1t was o poser to all till j
reached the foot of the class, when
curly.headed little fellow spelt it cor
rectly, and, on being asked to define il
shouted out, "More saltl'
Mr.. Bulger bought his first thermom
eter last week, hearing read that when
thermometer a under seventy
five the weather was very pleas
ant for comfort, he pasted a ''bi
"S~eventy-fve" on the wall, and hun
his weather indicator under it. But
didn't do a bit of good, he says.
A gentleman having an appointment
with another who wa hahitually Ill
punctual. to his great surprise foun
him waiting. He thus addressed him
"Why, I see you are here first at last
You were always behind before, but
am glad to see you have become earl
of late"
How naturally one turns away at thi
interval, from the works of bards, sage
and philosophers, from visions of state
craft and the phenomena of politica
science, and signs for the matches
liberty of that civilization which pei
mits a man to sit around all day in hi
night shirt.
A very sympathetic gentleman wen
out to the county jail yesterday, an
while looking about among the inmate
he saw one ~ine-looking fellow whom h
pitied most sincerely. "How came 70
Ia here?" said the $. g. to the Jail bird
"Oh, I came in here to get out of tn
crowd" replied the tender youth.