The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-06-25

many Of our American Bibles might not just we'll be
printed in Chinese.
DR.. Taimags. whose pulpit olocution IL somewhat
highly seasoned with Historical expressions which
would turn the hair OF sensitive man gray twenty
four hours lately described 10 delighted audience,
which cheered and applauded him, tho way in which
man .scan go TO hell 1t e4o gait" Brooklyn boasts
OF the only genuine pulpit sensatonalisn, which this
country affords
The Christian Register, Unitarian paper, has 70.
cesed an underground telegram OF the most startling
character Aftcr making fun. in way peculiarly its
own OF the popular theology IL afarms that Shell Is
closed for repairs" That paper seems TO be the only
authority the subject and is perhaps, fa:ored
than others In having personal friend at that court
These people who call themselves liberals seem to DO
caes that your naenablc right TO think just
a. they do while to differ with them IL evidence Of
insanity or GORGEOUS folly
The annual conferences OF that eccentric people
called Adventists thus month They looking
forward the Immediate eonaagration Of the world,
and experiment In cremation which will not even
leave ash behind And yet they willing TO specu-
lato real estate and give that they have
misinterpreed Scripture they ineht we'll take ad-
vantage Of the hard times other people is pretty
hard, after ALL to divorce = mans mind, however
religious no may be- from tho simple tacs Of specie
basis
The Dunkers. y religious scot that practices absti-
and modification and other simple virtues, have
been congratuating themselves their success In
point Of numrcrs and property. They have not alb
stained from very lucrative business, and not
particularly mortified At the result Of their abors
II is very amusing to certain bodies Of Christians
who profess despse all worldly possessions. making
shrewd bargains and saving penny for the rainy day
We are feariully and wonderfully made, indeed
M - Th. Math
lately refused receive candidates, the ground,
as worldly man would say, that the market Is over
stocked already and the article drug The Presby-
terians lately proclaimed that very large proportion
Of its ministers out OF pulpits and can't get In.
Indeed vacant pulpit resembles stray 1y on trout
stream in June; every fish within dozen rods jumps
half Of in its anxiety to get IT, At tho same
time large number of important churches are
without ministers. As Mr. Choato once said TO COM
pany Of law students Gentlemen, tho pit may DO
crowded. but there's always the stage for any
one who has the ability to get there"
One OF the Baptist papers says that Dr. Fulton has
peculiar faculty of drawing 6rc himself all the time
No harm however. since he lives mucn
under water.
Boston has for months been making piteous appeal
for the preservation OF the Old South The great re
spared It. but il Is to be down. Boston takes
great delight in revolutionary relics but 1t worshps its
pockctbook also sWe Americans fnd II hard TO care
anything about the things Of yesterday. The mighty
to-day and the mighty dollar the only things in
which We have implicit faith.
The Presbyterian Association OF Edinburgh have had
. meeting in behalf OF what is called sthe purity OF
public worship" Their object is 10 Danish ali instru
mental music from the churches The organ is looked
upon as fatal hcresy and Dr. Tamagc's cornet player
Is only worthy TO be burned at the stake These
ard Gar time .h0Ok \ n In
vasion OF the sancty OF public Worship Such hymns
as Nearer Ny God TO Thee and "Rock OF Ages" only
tend TO lead the mind In wrong paths just think Of
church with straight pew-backs with carpet the
floor, cushions, no organ no choir, but sermon
that into nineteenlhiy and ends with In conclu
sion lastly and nnay-thrce separate steps Of fifteen
minutes each to let the congregation down easily
After all this the minister complains that tho young
people don't 60 church and that half the older
wouldn't 60 they dared to stay at home It is re-
markable that such cheerful view Of religion should
not be more attractive. a. .ss.-,
Tho Methodisss have made terrible raid on tobacco
At nrst 1t thought well to pledge candidates
not to the weed, but questioned tho pro-
priety Of compelling presiding elder to forego his
fAvorite pipe order show the OWLS OF smoking
young man. To with his pipe in his mouth would
be clearly ridiculous and 10 lay inside the pipe for tho
time necessary deliver tho pledge was too great
sacrifice So the whole matter tabled, and Method
ism can smoke for twoive months moro
The various evil tendencies OF tho times seem to
have been concentrated and svmbolized in child
lately born with two faces In the olden times there
WINS bi-frontcd deity who could look behind and be-
forc and protect himself from enemies IN the rear
while he advanced But in these later and less poctca
days to be double faced means to expression
OF injured innocence when the investigating committee
is cross-examining you, and another and perfectly
satisfied expression when the last committeeman has
zone TO tho lunatic asylum in despair On tho whole,
1t is not much OF compliment TO the nineteenth CEN
fury that logical result Of its dealings should DO
race of two.faced children.
The human Uranium has always been o mystery.
The thickness thnncss supposed to be the tndi-
cation Of brains brains. Where, then, is tho
secret hiding place OF that tinted brothers incllec-
tual faculties who, crossing field during thun-
der Storm and being hit by . bolt from tho clouds,
quietly put his hand . tender spot his head and
remarked, "Thats tho third time I've been hit to-
day; think that's about cnoughs' Poor lightning!
wo have almost throb Of pity its defeat but this
Is lost in admiration Of that human skull that 40
sorb . whole thunder shower and simply feel the
gentle titIiations Of galvanic battery.
An effort Is foot to compel Spirtuaiists TO take
out license before giving their exhibitions This Is
equivalent saying those who dead and deceny
buried that they have had their chance In this world
and ought lot back without paying hand
somcly Tor the privilege. What irightfuly restless
people they are the other sidel There doesnt
to be anything for anybody to do else they become
terribly avarcious Tor they ready by day night
To show their faces at S. halt hour II the descrp
tion which sprualss give Of the other world be iruo
they ought DO made TO take out license TO tell the
story and everybody who dies ought TO be paid for
going over Jordan A more undesirable locality
not well DO imagined Think Of Daniel Webster
tipping chair and Henry Clay thumping on its leg,
and Dante sitting invisible under the table and pinch
ing tho sitters hg tuggng At bis wsstcoat and al
TO provo that tho soul 10 mmortal The old song, ~
want to DO angel and with the angels DWELL" OK
presses tho wish Of very few people indeed II this
nonsense is true and those few BE- found only IN
the ncurabis Of madhouse. BY all
tho take out lccpso ike any other