The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-02-12
MOROUS.


Kansas keeps nOhly in the van Of
civilization. Her State treasurer Is in
jail.
Elihu Burritt can drive n dog out Of
his yard In thirty two languages.
The extreme height OF misery Is
little boy with new pair of rubber
boots, and no mud or slush IN reach
II isa thin excuse for young lady
TO lie abed until niue O'Clock 10 the
morning because this is sleep year.
A breed OF dogs without tails has
been discovered In Africa, and how the
mlschievous boys there utilize old tin
kettles aud fruit cans, we cannot pretend
to say.
The Sandwich Islands are going TO
adopt new flag, but they can't decide
whether TO take n gray horse blanket
or an old vest with the back ripped out.
Before his marriage, Broughne pras
ed the artistic manner In which his
wife banged" her hair Now he com
plains of the cruel manner in which she
bangs his head.
A gentleman rode mp to public
house in the country and asked "Who
Il the master Of this house7" 81 am,
sir replied the landlord "ny wife
died about three weeks ago"
Half the people who are making thi0
uptoar over the exclusion OF the Bible
from the public schools cOuld'n tell on
their own responsibility whether the
book OF Genesis was written by st
Paul or Hamlet.
"ExplorIng waist PLACES" said John
Henry, as he put his arm around the
pretty Chamhermald. Navigation of
the air." said Mrs. Henry, overhear-
ing Tim, and sailing into his raven
curls.
The majority of pins found in the
sweepings from the Dresden Union
School house are bent in peculiar
fashion, suggesting q sudden ascent of
pupils about to occupy the recitation
seats.
A philosopher being asked what was
the first thing necessary toward win
ming the love of woman, answered,
" An opportunity"
BismarlI is baldheaded, but you don't
catch any German newspapers saying
that Mrs. Bismark is q high tempered
woman, or making any jokes about
baldheads generally. The balqheaded
are looked up to.
Why should the beehive be taken as
an emblem of Industry Not bee is
to be seen all the Winter long, while
the cOckroach ia up at five O'Clock in
morning and never goes to bed till mid
night. Let's change this thing.
The moment of the greatest agony in
manager $ life is when he must ask a
mature leading lady TO take an old wo-
mans part. The only way to do il Is
to write the note and leave town for
six months.
Cruz Lopez, former pensive peanut
vender of San Francisco, Is now the
widest bandit on the Mexican border.
He went to the bad because every 20
liceman or millionaire that passed his
stand stole nut with an air Of abstrac-
tion.
"V hat do you mean, you little rNsca?'
exclaimed an individual to an impudent
youth who had seized him by the nose
on the street. ooh, nOthing-on
am going ont to seek my fortune, and
my father told Inc to seize hold of the
first thing that turned up"
A citizen of Macon, Ca, who kept
up his New Years calls until aftel
dark, says that dog on the frCnt stOoI
is very poor substitute for door mat
He dose'nt remember whether he sa
down on the substitute or not, but hi
pantaloons seem to be somewhat wOrI
behind.
A doctor and q military officer be
came enamored of the same lady.
friend asked her which of the two sui
tors she Intended TO favor. She re
piled that " it was difficult for her t.
determine, for they were such killing
creatures
A man in a small town in Maine re
Gently wrote to the Boston Handel an
Hayden Society, asking how much the
would charge to come down there an
give concert. The reply was that
would be cheaper to bring the town
Boston.
A country paper, in speaking Of I'll
street-Organ playing OF soldier, will
out arms, who worked the crank wit
his loot, happily says, His playin
was far above the usual average /
threw his sole into it,"
Chicago Times The Rev. TalmaI
tiled to button a fifteen inch collI
around a sixteen inch neck-band Il
other morning. Since then he has n,
asked, " Why don't men swear whe
they are alone p
One OF the young men employed in
Danbury hat factory discovered bra
collar button in piece OF mince pie
was masticatlng the other day. ]
says he wants what are the comfoI
of home, and not the excitement al
confusion of dollar store.
Louisville Courier Journal The Ia
thing to explode was kitchen-table
San Francisco hotel. Hanged
things don t begin 70 look scary. II
despicsbe example set by non explosi
coal oil is now being followed by
many wholly unsuspectea things ii
you really don't know at what nome
the very shirt on your back is going
explode and tear you into a thOusa
pieces.
Some time AGO two IondOn thie,