Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1876-04-15
Weekly gntellisenfer,
FACETIE.
Minor events

FACETIE.
Minor eventS-Blrths.
A miss relationship.
The first thing in a boot is the last.
Cometh up as a four-rising yeast
Miss apprehension-arresting afemaie
pickpocket: :,
Can ladies' with enameled faces be said
to belong to polished society,"
A school boy who does not know what
4 coat sleeve is for nose, very little.
Why is a Young lady like a bill OF ex
change? Because she ought to settle
when she arrives at maturity.
Long hair is a glory to a woman IN,
less she neglects to cleanethe comb and
brush before her husband has an occa-
sion to use them.
mo pains shall be spared" as the
ouack said when saving off . poor fei-
lows leg to cure him OF the
A Rochester boy put his foot on q cat
while he shot.her with a revolver; Inc
cat did not stop to see how badly the
bow was wounded.
There are said to be in st. Louis ceun-
ty. Mo, unmarried females who
property worth an aggregate OF $1S,Ooo-
600. Go east young man., 60 east.
When an Illinois girl is Tilted for the
third time she sweeps down in the dead
of nioht upon her brothers wardrobe
and then lights out for the Black Hills.
..What is a con~science?" asked a school
master of his class. can inward NOM,
tor" replied a bri light little fellow. "Ano
what's a monitor? ?" lone OF the iron
clads."
ga skiff was turned over in the river
Yesterday, and Mr.. James Tyler was
thrown into the water ."-CLouisville
Ledger. A clear cas- of tip-a-canoe and
Tyler too.
A man may take a cool oath n e1er.
else with dumb-bells every mornings ibu
he won't sswhoop-la" much around a
woman who parts her hair on the side.
-EBrooklyn Argus.
New York Commercial ''Vell,"
prowled Schimmelhausen, as he threw
down the paper and lit his pipe, call
dose fellers dot wants to be president
don't can pc 'lected-dot's Blaine"
The Brooklyn Argus fsays:-'Thou.
sands of young souls are running wild
through the jungles of Africa, without
clothes and without a God. and yethere's
Zach. Chandler giving $1,000 to white,
wash Babcock."
q ASt- Louis woman sayslt1ls no worse
to encircle a lady's waist with your arm
in a ballroom than to hug your friends !;
sister on the back stair. nj worse? p
81 should say not" says.Joslin, "Why,
it is not so good"s s1isS lN-' 49,
Poker Bob, our late minister to Eng.
land. has submitted his defense. He
makes himself out so childlike and art,
less that nobody can deny that he and
Mary's little lamb ought to have beer
born twins.-[Exchange.
Burlington Hawkeye: A rural lady,
visiting in the city, hailed a street cal
near Griswold street yesterday, and be.
came very indignant and refused to ride
because the car would not drive up to
the sidewalk. When last seen, she was
hunting for the superintendent:s Office te
file her complaint.
A hospitable lady gave her young
friends a party the other night, and when
round dances were proposed, she strenu'
ously objected but she added, -'if any
OF the boys wish to hug the girls. let then
sit down ON the sofas and 60 at it in ear
nest-but no round dances, mind you.
They went at it and seemed to enjoy
:. themselves every bit as much as if they
had glided in round dances all the even
ing. And the girls are "just DYING a:
one of them expressed it, for that lady
togive another party .-St. Louis Times
A Mississippian engaged an intelli
gent travelling compositor. His frs
"take" of copy vas as follows:
"sMarried-At the residence of tn
brides father, in Excelpolis, Monda!
5 evening. March 6, by the Rev. A: Con
key Beecher, A. Mass, Esq. to Mis-
EupiIemia Nonion.
Love is the union of two hearts
That beats in softest melody,
Time with its ravages imparts
@ No bitter fusions to its ecstacy."
Imagine the CONSERVATION of the indi
viduals mentioned when by that strang'
coincidence of caIamitous circumstance:
which can only occur in a printing Office
the paper appeared with the following
.sMarried-At the residence of thu
brides father, in Excelpolis, Monda.
evening, March G., by Rev. A.. Donke,.
Beecher, AN ass, Esq, to Miss Youfeed
me aNonion. ss
glove is an onion of TIVE hearts,
That beet is soft and mellowy.
Time with its cabbages in carts
No better feedin' to an extra pay"
Would it be any Harm Pit is lea]
year, and ifthe tidy girl, with red cheek
feels a palpitation of the heart for som,
worthy young man, would it be an,
harm to call upon his father and speal
to him about the weather, the bad roads
the hard times and the bad state of soci
ETY., and then remark:
"Mr. Quincy, have an affection 70
your son George, and I think 1 coul'
soon learn to love him. a}-.
Quincy would look at her from tn
corner of his eye, and she would cor
tinuee
81 can wash, sbake, cut oyerclothes
sew play the piano, manage a servant
do embroidery, sing, speak good gram
mar, and make a home happy"
Quincy would look over the corner o