davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07
VARIETIES.
"A gentleman with considerable face
the man in the moon.

"A gentleman with considerable face
the man in the moon.
An old Dutchman undertook TO wal.
low his son, but Jake turned upon him
and walloped him. The old man consol.
ed himself for his defeat by rejoicing at
his sons manhood. He said, "vell Jake is
smart fellow he can vip his own tad
dy."
Theodore Hook was once busily en-
gagged in writing a SONG when he was much
annoyed by fiddler straining harsh dis
out six pence to him, at the same time
requesting him to take his departure, as
one sc,aper at the door was sufficient.
Book Agent to lawyers clerk greatly
bored: "Sir, you had better take that
book; you'll find it remarkably good in
vestment, and" "Can you change ten
dollar bill 2" asks the clerk. "Oh yes; l
can do that" "Then you've got mighty
sight more money than have. Good
day 2"
Marshal Soult once showing the pic
lures he stole in Spain, stopped before one
and remarked ~ value that picture very
much it saved the lives of two estimable
persons" An aid-de-camp whispered in
the listeners ear: He threatened to ha We
them both shot Immediately unless they
gave it up"
Making Bad Worse.-A rustic young
ster being asked out to take tea with q
friend, was admonished to praise the eata-
bles. Presently the butter was passed to
him, when he remarked, "Very nice but
ter-what there is of it; )" and observing a
smile, he added, "and plenty of it-such
as it is"
In bull-fght days blacksmith who
was rearing bull-pup induced his old
father to go on all tours to initiate the bull.
The canine pupil pinned the old man by
the nose. The son, disregarding parental
roaring, exclaimed, Hold him, Growler,
boy hold him Bear it, father, bear it /;
it'll be the making of the pup ~
What She Thought.--John Henry
(reading to his wife from newspaper)-
"There is not single woman in the State
pcnitentiary."
There you see now, don't you, what
wicked creatures wives are? Every woman
in the penitentiary is married."
at is curious" said she ;"but don't you
think, John, dear, that some of them go
there for relief2'
The Union county, IN. J.) coroners did
net qualify in time, and Union county is
therefore without coroners. Is is to be
hoped the other New Jersey coroners are
all qualified. One of them not long since
was examining doctor in an inquest on
the case of a little girl run over by horse
car. The doctor said death resulted from,
injury to the spine. Doctor" interrupt
ed the coroner, twas it the spine of hel
back2"
After the battle of Trafalgar the
body of Lord Nelson was brought home in
the Victory" man-of-war. To preserve
the remains they were put into puncheou
of rum. On reaching Plymouth, the punch.
con on being opened was empty and dry
During the voyage, the sailors, very Ger
tain that the purser would not visit thi.
cask, had drawn up all the rum by straw
pipes or jiggers. They, called this "tap
| ping the admiral"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

A BOYS IDEAS OF HEADs.-"Heads are
OF different shapes and sizes. They are
full of notions. Large heads do not always
hold the most. Some persons can tell just
what man is by the shape of his head
High heads are the best kind. Very
knowing people are called long-headed
A fellow that won't stop for anything or
anybody is called hot.headed. II he isn't
quite so bright they call him soft-headed.-
If he won't be coaxed nor turned they call
pig-headed. Animals have very small
heads. The heads of fools slant back
When your head is cut off you are behead-
ed. Our heads are all covered with hair
except bald heads. There are other kinds
of heads besides our heads. There are
barrel heads, heads of sermons-and some
ministers have fifteen heads to one sermon;
pin heads, heads of cattle, as the farmer
calls his COWS and oxen; head winds,
drum heads, cabbage heads, at loggerheads
come to head, heads of chapters, head
him of, head of the family, and go ahead
but first be sure you are right Young
american, Rogersville, Tenn.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

"A German dairy man found, after
many trials that with two ounces OF salt
daily his cows gave the most milk. The
careful chemist and farmer, Boussingault,
once fed six steers for thirteen months in
two lots, giving the same kind of fodder
and water to each, but giving one lot one
ounce and an eighth of salt daily, and to
the other none. A remarkable difference
was at once manifest. The first lot were
all sleek, smooth coated, and in perfect
condition; the other became rough, man
gy, and ill-conditioned and each weighed
az the end of the test 140 pounds less than
those that had been supplied with SALT
Many other similar results might be cited,
but these are sufficient to induce those
who still doubt the value of salt for all
kinds of farm stock TO test the matter for
themselves.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

THE DAY You WERE BoRN.-Here is
an infallible method Of discovering the
day of the week on which any person was
born, or the day of the week on which n
given day of the month any number of
years previous occurred. To the number
representing your age at your next birth
day, add one-fourth for leap years, this
amount divided by seven and the remain
der, counted back from the day of the
week on which you were born. For in
stance, on your next birthday you will be
"a years old, this divide by 4, and the
quotient 6, added to "a gives 80 the
amount, which divided by z the number
OF days in week, gives four weeks and a
remainder of two days. Now, if your
birthday this year comes on Monday,
count back two days and you have the day
on which you were born, Saturday. Try
it.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07
Shot in Mid-Air.

Some years ago the famous whirlpool
about half way between Niagara Falls and
Lcwiston-was, amongst other things, re-
markable for the number Of eagles that
were to be seen lowering over it, or seated
on some of the lofty pines on its verge
These majestic birds were doubtless at
tracted to this locality by the dead bodies
of animals that had come over the Falls,
and that were arrested here sometimes for
days together; while the summit of the
towering trees afforded fine view of what
ever wild fowl Glanced to pass through
the gorge of the river between the two
lakes, Erie and Ontario.
But if this was noted rendezvous for
these monarchs of the air, it was no less so
for their enemies, the hunters of the vicini-
ty, who thought it no mean sport or feat
to tumble them from their lofty perch with
single bullet; or, more difficult and ex-
citing still, to suddenly recall them from
mid-air with the leadcn messenger, while
making the first Of those sublime spiral
sweeps upward that carry them ultimately
almost beyond tho range of human Wis
ion.
was an eyewitness of feat of this
latter description; but | confess the re-
mlnlscence Is not pleasant one. L mad
climbed the bank of the whirlpool, one
morning, on the Canadian side, after an
hour of the most miserable fishing, when
l suddenly came upon an acquaintance
who was one of the best hunters i'll the
district. | saw that something was up,
for he motioned me to halt and to be ST.
lent lie was too late, however, for
made some remark on catching a glimpse
of him. The next instant heard sound
as OF the tapping of mighty pinions, and
two eagles that had just quilted their
perch, were sailing in mid-ar above us.
Their first sweep was out over the whirl-
pool; and, what had never observed be-
fore in such flights, they were almost side
by side. In the course of a few seconds
they hung above us once more, when the
hunter, stepping out into an open space
directly beneath them, took deliberate aim
and fired. There was u wild and convul
sive movement on the part of one of them
while the other seemed to stand perfectly
still in the air.
The former l supposed TO have beer
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07
VOL. XX---NO. IA.
farrNers' GnlnMn.
Speed the PIOpc.o
Good Advice.

The following excellent advice to farm
ers is from an address delivered before the
Bucks county PENN Agricultural Socie-
ty, by Thomas Shellcross:
Economical farming implies several con-
ditions. We must raise greater crops per
acre. 1t takes no longer to cultivate a
good crop than poor one.
We must have the most improved i'm
plements; machinery is cheaper than la
Dor. A man with corn pillow can do
double the work he would do with cult
vator, and do it better.
A good washingmachine materially
lightens the cares of the household.
The sewing machine might be a greater
labor. saving machine, but since its intro
duction there are 30 many useless seams
made that the labors of the women do not
seem to be any lighter.
remember once seeing garment with
nineteen tucks.
There is no economy in purchasing half
worn implements. They will be continu.
ally out of order The first wear is always
the best.
Pay as you go. A man with cash in his
hand can always purchase to much better
advantage than he who expects credit.
have seen corn bring $1.10 per bushel on
credit of nine months, when the market
price was only eighty-five cents.
The farmer must keep well posted. 1t
is matter of great economy that he be
well supplied with papers and magazines.
Not only his county paper, which tells
him of affairs about home, but also one of
the great dailies, which lets him look right
out into the world. At least one Of the
journals devoted to agriculture should find
access to his home. One or two hints
picked up through the year will amply re-
pay the cost of the subscription.
There is economy in giving the chill
dren good education. We know too lit
tie of the why's and whereforts connected
with our calling. We work too much in
the dark. TO get the best possible result
from our land and fertilizers, how impor-
tant that we should understand their con
stituents and the adaptability to certain
crops. AS soon as by improved intellectu-
al power man begins to discover and APP
ply the laws of Nature, vast accession is
made to the power of human productive
ness. lfthis be so, we see how groundess
is the opinion that education and science
are without practical benefit, and that
philosophers and students are merely IL
burden on the community, since it is
knowledge and its application which has
given us all the advantages which we pos
sess over sayages.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

OBsTRucTIoNs.-He plowed along side
that old, half-bunt log three or four years,
turning it out of the way of the furrow,
back and forth many times, and that old
stump while it hurt the team and jerked
the pillow to one side so the handles hit
him numerous ticks on the hips and then
when he came to harvest the grain, it broke
the reaper and wasted lots of grain, al
though the waste and loss of time was
many more times than the cost of taking
the log out OF the field before he began
blowing, to say nothing Of safety.
That's the way with some, they rather
suffer ten troublesome afterclaps than take
a little time to prevent them.
Some farmers seem to delight in leaving
weak place in the fence till animals get
in and destroy lots of grain. A cunning
farmer would rather have profits on the
other side, by care.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

The newly-elected sheriff of Caroline
county was sitting in his Office sad-eyed
and haggard. He held in his hand a stack
Of manuscript representingt the applications
of eight hundred and seventy-niue appli.
cants for Deputy sheriff, each of whom
said he had worked for him at the polls
and had gained him all the way up from
two hundred to one thousand votes from
their personal friends who did not vote the
Democratic ticket. A man attired in a
blue shirt with q paper collar and red
nose, entered the Office, and greeted him
cordially. "Ah, Mr.. Sheriff, but it's glad
/ am to see you looking so hearty don't
you remember me ?"
81 don't think do" remarked the Off
cial "although there is something in your
face which is familiar to me-"
"Ah, Mr. Sheriff, thought you'd know
me, | worked for you all day election, and
got you one thousand votes, and l come
for that place"
"Well, | am sorry to say that have pro-
missed all the places at my disposal"
ooh, give me q place, don't care what
it is"
"Oh, by the by" said the sheriff with a
malicious grin in his eye "there is a place,
but it's not worth much, and don't think
you'd take it,"
"Ah, Mr. Sheriff, I'll take anything-I
don't care what kind of a place it is. Tell
me what it is, and I'll jump at it with my
coat Off"
"All right said the sheriff. "There is a
Chinaman going to be hanged at the Jail
next month, and he wants somebody to
take his place. l think it will suit you.'
The man with the red nose ceased to
smile, and asking the sheriff for quarter
to pay for his lodging that night, he lief,
the office and mingled with the throng Of
would-be deputy sherifls on the outside.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07
PO @ tic al.
For The -AgiS q; Mtelligencer
THE FIRST VIOLETS.


l found them hiding their eyes of gold,
Beneath their petals azure fold,
And the timid blue stars, as if 10th to be
seen,
Were nesting under their leaves of green
But their fragrant breath revealed the place
Where they dropping swayed in modest
grace;
/ could not repress the cry of delight,
Which rose to my lips at the lovely sight.
Springng up from the earth's hard breast,
SO long by winters cold arms pressed,
Peeping SO shyly and sweetly fair
Kissed by the sunshine and balmy air;
Springs little fairy messengers sweet,
Paving the way, for her wee dainty feet;
Filling our hearts with the promise they
bring,
Delightful assurance Of beautiful Spring.
Coming so bravely, and smiling so gay,
Fer the cold snow-storms have all passed
away;
Sweet little ilowerets-warm, eager hearts
Greet them with pleasure, as winter departs;
Over the grave where in silence he lies,
They cluster and droop down their innocent
eyes;
We feel the sweet presence they happily
bring,
And meet the glad kisses ofbcautiful Spring.
From the generous group gathered few,
Bright golden eyes, in wee bells OF blue,
While their exquisite perfume in fragrant
streams
Seemed to enfold me, in mystical dreams;
Again l am wandering in pleasure so mild,
Happy and care free, bright, merre child,
Culling with fingers carclessly light,
Innocent ylolets purple and white.
And a beautiful gill comes back TO ne,
Over the waves of the crystal sea;
Dark violet eyes return my gaze,
And meet her kiss, in dreamy maze;
Sweet as the flowers, so daintily shy,
She loved so well in the long gone BY
Now where the wind its banners wave,
They kiss the violets DER her grave.
Sweet maiden Spring time comes TO us
now
With the shy yiolcts bound on her brow,
Gold in the sunshine waves her bright hair,
Fragrant her breath fills the beautiful air,
Blue bird and robin are carolling gay,
Filled with pure rapture is each happy lay,
While our glad hearts join the anthems they
sing
Welcome to volets, and fair gentle Spring.
c. NJ A.
jamaica l.. l. Mal'ch eth, 1876.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

THE VALUE OF EDUCATIoN.-Jakew was
heard calling across the fence to his neigh
boris son, Il colored youth who goes to
school at the Atlanta colorcd university
"Look hyar, boy, you goes ter school
don't yer9'
YES, sir" replied the boy.
"Gettin' eddykashun, amt yer p
"Yes, SIR"
"Larnin' 'rithmctick and iggerin' on a
slate, ell ?"
"Yes, SIR
"Well, it don't take two whole days to
make hour, do it 2"
"W'y now exclaimed the boy.
"You was gwine ter bring dat hatchit
back in hour, warn't yer 2"
ayes, sir"
"An' it's bin two days sence yer borrow
cd it, Now what goods eddykashun
gwine ter do you thick skulled niggers
when yer go to school whole. year and
den can't tell how long it takes to iotch
| back hatchit e.
The boy got mad and sluny the hatchei
over the fence and half way through al
ash barrel.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

RoTHscHILD's SENTIMENTs.-The Jew
ish Messenger says Baron Edward de
Rothschild is expected to be among the
visitors at the Centennial, and he will I'M
doubtedly be in great demand. During
one of the fairs in Paris some years ago
Baron James de Rothschild was q patron.
CHANGING to pass stand where some pref
ty young ladies were installed, he asked
in bantering tone:
"Well, my dears, what can I do for
you2 2"
"Ah, Baron" said one, "you can give us
your autograph"
with pleasure" responded the gallant
old Baron, "if you preface it with an
agreeable sentiment"
So the young lady, without more ado,
wrote on dainty slip of paper: 81 hereby
donate to -- charity, ten thousand
francs," and the Baron Immediately sign
ed his name in full, and willingly paid the
amount to the enterprising Partisan.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

THE Cow.-If civilized people were ever
to lapse into the worship of animals, the
cow would certainly be their chief god
dess. What fountain of blessing is cow
She is the mother Of beef, the source of
butter, the original cause of cheese, to say
nothing of shoe horns, hair combs, and up
per leather. A gentle, amiable, ever yield
ing creature, who has no joy in her family
affairs which she does not share with man.
We rob Ter of her children, that we may
rob her of her milk, and we only care for
her that the robbery may be perpetuated.
- HOuseh0M Words
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

SIGNs.-lt is good sign to see man
do an act of clarity-a bad sign to hear
him boast of it,
It's good sign to see an honest man
wearing his old clothes-bad to see them
filling holes in the window.
It's good sign TO see IL man wipe the
perspiration from his brows-bad to see
him wipe his lips as he comes out of a
cellar
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

RULE FOR CALCULATING INTEREST,"
Multiply the amount, rate per cent, and
time reduced to days toget her, and divide
the product by thirty-six, and by marking
off the three (3) right-hand figures, we
will have the interest in dollars or cents,
or dollars and cents. This rule wW hold
true for any rate Of per cent, and for any
amount Of time to run.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07

"A single grain of barley was planted
by an agriculturist in the Isle of Man in
1869, and the same year produced three
hundred grains. These were sown and the
second years produce was about half
pint. These were again sown, and the
third years produce was fourteen pounds,
which being again sown have realized this
year about seven bushels, covering space
of one hundred yards by five. Thus there
have been produced in four years seven
bushels of barley from SINCE grain. y
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07
VERY IMPORTANT.

| ![r. Editor Of The ABgiS d Lttelligeacer:
As there is great deal of rivalry everywhere
in the political field, in the social circle, anG
even in the church, therefore You might expect
| it in the business profession. This rivalry in
/ business has reached the climax in the stove
| trade.
Ever since the TIMES COOK took the Gold
Medal for quick baking it has been attacked by
| jealous rivals, but since it has taken the lead
of all tirst,class Cook Stoves in Baltimore and
bids fair to finally supercede them. 1t has in
cured the spite and envy of those who could
not secure the sale oft, so much so that they
take our double tire.shield cross piece and I'M
screw them and show buyers one.half and say
the TIMES COOK has very light castings. They
also say it will not bake well, draw WELL is not
No. iron, &c, dc.
SO the only security for buyers is to come di-
rect to No. 9G N. Gay Street, near Front Street,
and see for themselves if the TIMES COOK
isn't the largest, heaviest most economical, and
best BAKING STOVE ever made. Every one
of the TIMES COOK is guaranteed to bake per-
fectly.
The reason can sell them so cheap is that |
am connected with the "Quakertown Stove
Works." and we make them ourselves, so you
buy from first hands. No two profits at young
Gluck's.
We do say it is the heaviest, largest and the
best working stove ever offered for sale.
Nearly eight thousand sold.
Call and examine for yourself
w. j. II. GLUCK,
9G n. GAY STREET,
(bcI the Bridge and Front ST.
Baltimore Md.
~" Ask YOUR ncimhbOr about it, auol-1v
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-07
THE EGIS & INTELLIGENCER,
IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY ny
F. w. B A K E r.
Terms--S so a Year, in Advance,
Otherwise S2.OO will be charged.

TRANSIENT ADvERTIsEMENTs.-0ne Square, two inser-
tons S1.00. Each subsequent insertion, 25 cents Lon
ger advertisements in the same proportion, A space
equal to six lines makos n square.
60 Yearly advertisements at special rates.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-04-08
HEMPSTEAD RESERVOIR.

Yesterday o complaint was served upon Mayor
Schroeder and tho Brooklyn Commissioners of city
Works by the counsel for Mcssrs Kingsley and Kecney
cnjoinng the city officials named from exercising fur
ther control the Storage Reservoir at Hampstead,
tor the construction OF which the plaintiffs the
tractors II is rccitcd that the city changed the orig
nal plan and diverted money appropriated tor the work
to other purposes; that work not ceased by the
plaintiffs till the money had become exhausted; that
the reservoir is uncompleted and safely hold
over eight feet Of water that protect the work tho
plaintiffs put TO heavy expense; that by order OF
tho city authority the water IN the reservoir - allowed
to become fourteen feet in height or eght feet NOSE
than Is considered consistent with safety by the
tractors; that the stone facing Of the dam is liable TO
property ofthc plaintiffs will be ured to the amount
Of $50 900 II the gates kept longer closed. Judg
ment is therefore asked for by the plaintiffs tein-
porary injunction WAS granted
Chief Engineer Adams reported TO the Board or City
Works that the dam has been injured It's upper slope
and its outline disgured but permanent injury has
been done. The water Is rising daily, and prompt
action Is desirable.
Commissioner Fowler offered resolution, which tho
Board OF City Works adopted protesting against any
further experiments tests OF the reservoir and
against its completion upon any other than the plans
originally provided for, and holding tho contractors
sponsble Tor the security OF the work.
Mayor Schroeder is in favor OF the completion OF the
face OF the dam and believes IN keeping tho gates
closed to provide water for summer President
Socum, OF the Board OF City Works says that though
the gravel facing OF the dam Is damaged 10 some extent
tho structure u not imperlled