, 1876-02-27

During leap-year erery woman has IN iualien
able right to make love and the ire in the morn
ing.
Women arc not allo1ed to drive omnibuses il
England, the osculatory buss being deemed suf
iicient for their capacity.
4 lady thought it was the essence OF rose thai
made her hair white Jerrold suggested thar il
might have besn the essenco Of thyme.
Mother: ''Char1otte, how do you lire you,
now teacher2" Charlotte ''Oh she's splen
| did teacher. She don't care whether Ne know
| our Lessons OF not"
It is decided that women csnnot practice Ian
in Wisconsin; but the Judge who decided il
| crau1ed under his barn last week, and hasn't
| como out since.-Brooktyn dryus.
4 widouer married near Montgomery. Ala.
One Of his serTauts nss asked, "Wi]l hs take q
| bridal tour p and gave as ausNer: II dunno /:
he take paddle to his fust ons-dunno if he
take brldle to de new one OF not"
! A lady oo the West Side found her &oogus en-
tirefy paralyzed last week,-the result, 1t il te-
/ iieSed, Of playing the harmonicam- The opin-
| ion eeems to be gaining ground that harmoni-
cum is Of more real value in family than q
| stalled o1.-Norsrich Bulletin.
Thomassen, the dynamite feud, builded bet
| ter than he meant to do, An exchange tells us
! that ''quite demand has sprung mp in Ger
many for American trunke.' These useful arti-
| clts arc now universally presented By bride
! grooms to their mothers-in-law.
Tho Brooklyn Argus has one married man On
its staff, anyhow. 1t describes eloquentIy the
sicklY sensations . man with cough expert
ences when he ia hauled to suddenly, while his
wife stops to examine the latest etvie OF trim
minge in an undertaker's show-window..
Tho agent Of tho Pacific Mail Steamahip Com
pany recently received note from 4 citizen Of
1ArHaY pnf{f -
anxious to have birth on your steamer OF the
-th. fourB, etc" To which be replied
=" Come along, and re will do the best We can
tor you. u."-Nes0 Fork Sim
4 wedding occurred Ut Boston church the
other evening. and 1t the conclusion OF the core
mony the backgrounds grovn-up daughters
sasuted their new step-mother BY making
charge in full force, and were only prevented
from tearing all the clothes from her back By the
1nterfereace OF policeman.
Two young ladies in the Mercantile Library,
yesteruny afternoon, we're discussing prefer
men. when the other wss heard to romark: II
don't object to NAH NTH reasonable quantity
OF hair on bis face, but wouldn't like to m1ry
buffaio-robe. -cinctnndi Commercial.
"This is my last CALL" remarked flippant
young gentleman to young lady who was soon
to DO married ~ never cali On married women
OF unmarried ladies' after they have reached g."
You do we'll, sir" graveiy remarked an elder
lady present. "At that age. and after mnrrisre.
they begin to know the Yaluo Of time, and DO not
like to waste it,
A little schoolgirl asked her teacher what VAS
meant BY "Mrs. Gruudy." The teacher replied
that it meant the world" Some days after
ward the teacher asked the geography class to
which this little bud Of promlse" belonged.
What iB q zone ?" After some hesitation. th,s
little girl frightened up, and replied, II knor
it's belt around M1s. Gruady's waist"
Person with cold in his head to person oppo-
olte (refeIr1ng to open window in railroaa-car.
Say, wad you shud up that widow ?" Middle
aged woman 10 weeds, who had been talking for
the last half hour, turning around indienantly:
- What do you mean, slr? It Ia pretty how
de-do when woman can't open her mouth +! I'u !
hsve you to know you can't ahut me- up!" SEN |
sation.
Arrah. Pat. an why did marry ye7-iist
tell me that,-for it'a msself that's bad to main
tan Se lser since the blessed day that Father
jewel" replied Pat, "sh' it's meself that hones
that may live to zee the day you're q widow
naping over the cowld sod khat kiyers ne.-thin
by st. Pathlick, III SEQ how ye git along vidous
Me- honey"
A French paper tells the following: a French
man who had purchased couutrv-seat vxs com
planning OF the want Of birds in his garden,
:. Set aome traps" replied 40 officer. ..and
they'll como. was once in Africa, and thero
wasn't supposed to be woman within 206 miles. |
| hung pair OF earrings aud bracelet upon 4
under the branches"
He leaned over the counter and asked for
Easentine. Glve me one Of those rcd aud yal- I
eE ones, " he said, after the boy had shown hin
= fsr fancy piecos, and the boy bzoks = lot on 4