davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
Wit and Hun7or.
A Turkisfs Joe Miller.

The Turks, grave and majestic as
they are supposed to be, have a tra~
ditional Joe Miller, one Nasr-Eddin.
who lived in the days of Timour, the
Tartar, or Tamerlane CA. D. 1885
l4O5)-him of the one eye and the
game leg-and who dared to Jest with
the terrible soldier, even to his face.
The best known story of Nasr-E Eds
din is often found in collections of
anecdotes. It is that Of his thrice
fooling the assembly of true believers
ont Of sermon by three successive
sssSgdTar replies The GSst si--4e AZ
ascended the pulpit, he said, ooh,
true believers do you know what I
am going to say p They replied,
"No." Whereuron he asked, "Of
what use to preach to such igno-
ramuses ?" and came down from the
pulpit
The next time, when he asked the
same question, they answered, Yes,
we know Whereupon he said,
''Then it IS useless for me to tell
you; ;" aud came down.
The third time, having taken coun-
sci together, the congregation pre-
pared an answer which they thought
would corner their joker preacher,
and said, Some of us know, and some
don't. " Whereupon he promptly re
piled, "Let those who know tell those
who don't; and once more came
down.
This is an easier way to save SER
writing.
Thus the Hodia dreamed one night
that he was offered nine aspers for
something, but demanded ten; and |
upon this being allowed, he demand |
cd nineteen, but woke up just at that
point, and, pefceiving that there was
neither cash nor customer, he turned
over and shut up his eyes, saying,
oh, well, my friend, give me nine,
hen.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

sweet love, and kiss, and soft words,
Of little Mary; then go forth to
meet your enemies, and you may be
sure OF an easy and bloodless vic~
tory,
There ought to be a school in every
family to teach children how to use
these weapons. Parents ought to be
the teachers. I have often thought
if the nation would furnish us the
money to establish schools to teach
all our children how to conquer their
enemies with these powerful but
gentle weapons, which it now fur
nlshes to establish schools TO teach
them how to fight and kill them with
swords and guns, our property, iber-
ty, and lives, would be safer; and il
would not cost half SO much to keep
safe. But now, instead of beina
taught to meet their enemies and
subdue them with love and kindness,
they are taught to meet them with
deadly weapons, and to ''kill, slay and
destroy them. Children never will
be safe-parents never will-towns,
cities, states, and nations never will, !
till all these numbering instruments
are thrown away, and children are
taught NEVER TO HUNcH THOSE WHO |
CROWD, and always to give-A KISS |
FOR A BLOW.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
: arm and Household
Commence Work in Season,

The successful farmer has his work
allotted for each season and every
month is filled up with it's timely ap-
pointed work. He finds the sureat
way to have work well done il to
have it done in the proper ti1ne, and
hence his work is always done in
the best order. He understands also
that farm work requires constant,
unremitting attention and a judioious
adaptation of the best means at hand
to have it so done as to secure the
best possible results, and he is look
ing after and watching all in his en-
ploy, keeping all hands and heads
working together.
This is now an important time for
the farmer of forecast to arrange his
next crop campaign, and measure his
crop by his working force, if he
would win success amid difficulties
that wage war on farm interests. It
is not the part of wisdom to pitch
crop he knows not how to take care
OF. 1t Is not so much the number
Of acres planted as it is the yield
they are forced by work to make, that
pays the farmer and marks him as
successful. 1t is far better to leave a
margin for bad weather, accidents
and other retarding circumstances.
AS general thing our farmers would
do better by reducing the amount Of
land in tillage, and concentrate the
work and manure on a smaller area,
and have a larger acreage in mead
ows, both for hay and pasturage. We
have entirely too little meadow
and pasture land for the amount we
have of corn and cotton land. This |
is now very appropriate time to
make the change, by preparing thor-
oughly your soil for sowing more
grain, clover and other grasses. And |
don't forget the importance of more |
rsn"te'oa a4ise nasaa'la,ins aaaallar as.ansI
of land, and more and better work |
on those fewer acres Don't wait
TIL spring to pitch your next crop,
but do it now, and then carry your
plans into successful execution
RUr0I Slt2a.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
Management of Horses.

Feed literally, work steadily and
clean thoroughly, is my motto in tho
management of horses. My great
trouble is to have the horse rubbed
dry and clean before leaving them
for the night. Where horses are
worked six days in the week thor
ough grooming isabsoluteIy essential
to their health. The more highly
they are fed, the more important it is
to clean them. Most men use the
currycomb too much, and the whisk
and brush too little I do not my
self insist upon it, but I be-
lieve it would pay to take the whole
harness from the horses when put in
the stable at noon, and rub them
dry, washing the shoulders with cold
water, afterwards thoroughly dry
them with a cloth. 7 question if
there is one farmer in hundred duly
appreciates how much he loses from
having poor horses and in not keep
ng them in vigorous health, and in
condition to do a maximum DAYS
work.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
Chips and SaWdUst.

Always in debt when there is nc
necessity for 1.-THE letter B.
Why is q compositor like cripple?
Because he can't get along without a
stick
Made q t,ul1~sigh nnarksman
who went out to Creedmore, and
shot COW
Good headquarters for young men
On the shoulders of their sweet
hearts.
IT don't think" says old Mrs
Prawn, "that book keeping is very
sedative employment. They must
get" she added thoughtfully, $50
much exercise running up the coll
umns"
Speaking Of bathing" said Mrs.
Partington from behind the steam
that arose from her tea as o veil to
her bushes when touching upon so
delicate subject, ''some can bathe
with perfect impurity in water as
cold as Greenland'a icy mountains
and India's coral strands, but for my
part | prefer to have the water little
torpid"
An old coIored preacher in this
city was lecturing 81 youth of his fold
about the sin of dancing, when the
latter protested that the Bible plainly
said, "Ihere is e time to dance.
Eyes, dar am time to dance" said
the dark divine, "and it's when d boy
gifts whippin' for gwine to a BALL
atlanta Times.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
TIE Rest Of the sahhath.

The Sabbath should be regarded
as privilege, not as a sacrifice. A
the boarding-school boy rejoices
when the holidays come the days in
which he can lay aside his work and
give himself to pleasure and the
society Of parents and friends; so we
should rejoice in the day on which
we can lay aside our worldly tolls,
and taste the pleasures Of communion
with God. The Sabbath should be
regarded by rs as a joyous vacation
time, in which we shall ask not how
much, but how little thought we may
give to worldly things. ------------
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
Satisfied.


w nen ended this my earthly race,
Ihe goal attained, through Jesus
grace,
And behold Him face to face,
shall be satisfied.
When safely landed on that shore
1 meet the loved ones ''gone before, u
ana lear no partings evermore,
l shall be satisfied.
When these dull eyes receive new
Sight
And A, |, sweet surprises, glories bright,
0haH III my soul with ''pure delight" "
shall be satisfied.
When Christ shall tune my voice to
Ihat it may blend with seraphim
In praising Him, our heavenly king
shall be satisfied.
When in His image I appear,
NO faint of earth or sin to fear,
Ana His sweet welcome meets my ear,
| shall be satisfied.
0 Saviour, help me watch and wait,
And heavens joys to antedate,
% shalt ope the pearly gate,
4 then be satisfied.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
Religious.
From the Christian Worker. I

From the Christian Worker.
Free.
One little word, four letters small.
We write it in a trice
Nor stop to comprehend it all,
The meaning and device.
Of one sweet little word, thus formed
So full Of meaning, fraught
With love divine, and wisdom pure.
That is not sold or bought.
With richest treasures comes this
word
To us from Holy Writ
We find it traced on Natures page
Her works are full of it.
The little birds proclaim its charms,
Old Ocean bids us pause
And gaze upon its free expanse,
Stayed only by Gods laws.
Those laws, both wise and full of love,
Still govern things below;
While He in mercy says, "Thus far,
No farther shalt thou co.
The snow which fell at midnights
Lhour,
With no less freedom came
Than that which falls through st!nit
air,
And reaches earth the same.
So blessings, from the hand of God,
Are free as driven snow;
They'll reach the darkest, foulest
Where they're allowed to go.
And Jesus says, eye shall be Free"
Yes, shall be free indeed
From sin, and from unrighteousness,
Whom Christ, the Son, hath freed. |
0, that on every pardoned one
The Holy Ghost might fall;
And burning out each base desire
Fill us with loYa to all
That perfect love which casts out fear
Win sweetly reign within;
While faith applies the Blood Of Christ
To cleanse us from all sin.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
What to TeacIl.

A very intelligent writer has this to
say: sour public schools and uni~
versities, while providing admirably
for liberal education in the classics
and mathematics, do not, as a rule,
train their pupils sufficiently in Eng
lish composition"
This is fault not peculiar to Eng
lish high schools and universities J;
it exists with us, and almost univer~
sally. Parents and teachers seem to
forget, perhaps never knew, that it is
more important for any one to be
thoroughly grounded in the elements
of English education, than to have
a smattering of all the higher
branches. To be a perfect English
scholar is grand accomplishment.
~ y AZ-basn-issAa1~ It results, first, from
the efforts Of Mr.. Smith, teacher, to
keep the children of Mr.. Brown
ahead of the children of Mr.. Jones,
who are being taught by MFR. Black
and rice versa. Parents go to the
annual examination" to hear the
dear children read of the bridge built
by Caesar, when these same dear sim.
pletons could not read Washington
Farewell Address, in their own LAM
guago, With sufficient intelligence to
be understood.
It results, second, from the desire
If every father and mother for their
Tobn and Jane to be smarter than
everybody elses John and Jane. Put
'he folly of the parents and the de-
cit of the teachers in hotch-potch,
nd the children come out mess.
The best scholar is the child that
.nows most thoroughly everything it
as studied, from the spelling book
p to where it stops.
An imperfect knowledge of Latin,
freek, Hebrew and French has never
cen Of real service to any one, while
thorough knowledge of English is
every day Of the life of
very Eng!ish~speaking man and
oman.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

To make white, hard soap, take
fresh Stacked lime, sal soda and tai
low, of each two pounds; dissolve
the soda in one gallon boiling soft
water; mix in the lime, stirring occa-
sionally for a few hours after which
let it settle, pouring off the clear
liquor and boiling the tallow until it
is all dissolved cool it in flat box
and cut in bars or cakes as desired.
If you wish it favored before it is
cool stir II q little sagsafras oil.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

The Prairie Farnaer says: Fifty
fowls Will make, in the roosting house
alone, one half ton per annum of the
best manure in the world, or moro
than enough to manure an acre of
land. land. seven hundred pounds Of guano
being the usual quantity applied per
acre, and poultry manure is known to
be still richer in ammonia and fertil~
izing salts. No other stock will give an
equal return in this way and the
figures will demand careful attention
from Che farmer.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

"An3 thou, Solomon, my son, know
thou the God Of thy fathers, and
serve him with a perfect heart and
with willing mind, for the Lord
searcheth all hearts and understand
eth all the imaginations of the
thoughts. If thou seek him, he will
be found Of thee, but if thou forsake
him, he will cast thee forth forever"
l Chron, xviii: 8.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

A horse, no matter how vicious and
obstinate he may be when attempts
are made to shoe him, can be render
ed quiet and manageable by making
him inhale during the operation a
few drachms of ethereal oil of parsley
dropped on a handkerchief. A large
number Of trials have been made with
the most troublesome animals, and in
every case with perfect success.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

Remember now thy Creator in the
days Of thy youth, while the evil days
come not nor the years draw nigh
when thou shalt say, [ have no pleas
ure in them. "-Eccl xii l.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

"The steps of a good man are
ordered by the Lord and he delight
eth in his way. Though he fall he
shall not be utterly cast down, for
the Lord upholdeth him with his
hand. ."-Ps. xxxvii: 23, "a.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

He who will not improve two tall
ents shall never be trusted with five,
but he who improves a little shall be
trusted with much.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

Let your light SO shine before
men, that they may see your good
works, and glorify your Father which
is in heaven. Mat. ' 16.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07
p Q r Y
When the Cows Come Home.


When klingle, klangle, klingle,
tar down the dusky dingle;
Ihe COWS are coming home
v sweet and clear, and faint and IoS
Fy tinklings come and go,
ke chimings from the far-off tower
; Oh gatherings of an April shower
That makes the daisies grow;
Rolling, ko~ling, kolinglelingle,
Far down the darkening dingle,
The COWS come slowly home.
Aod' old-time friends; and twilight
And starry nights and sunny days
Come trooping up the misty ways,
When the COWS come home.
When jingle, jangle, jingle,
Soft tones that sweetly mingle,
The COWS are coming home
1'alvine, and Pearl, and Fl0rimel,
White Rose, Red Rose, and Dappled
Nell,
Green Bess, and Sylph, and Spangled
Across the fields I hear her 'loo,oo"
And clang her silver bell
Go-ling, go~lang, golingledingle,
With faint, far sounds that mingle,
The COWS come slowly home.
And mother songs of long~gone years,
Aud baby joys and childish fears,
Andyouthful hopes and youthful tears
When the COWS come home.
With ringle, rangIe, ringle,
BY twos5 and threes, and single,
The cows are coming home;
Through violet air we see the town,
And the summer sun a-slipping down,
And the maple in the hazel glade
Throws down the path q longer shade,
And the hills are growing brown
To~ring, to-rang, toringleringle,
By threes, and fours, and single,
The COWS come slowly home.
2 same sweet sound of worldIaas
The same sweet Juno-day's rest and
[calm,
The same sweet smell of buds and
balm.
When the COWS come home.
With tinkle, tankle, tinkle,
Through fern and periwinkle,
The COWS are coming home;
A-loitering in the rip'ling stream,
Where the suns rays glance and CLEAN
Clarine; ;PeachblOom,a and Phebe Phillis
Stand knee deep in the creamy lilies,
In a drowsy dream
To-link, to>lank, tolinklelinkle,
Der banks with buttercups a-twin>
Lkle,
The cows come slowly home.
And up through memory's deep IA
[7ine,
Come the brooks old song and it's
old-time sheen,
And the crescent of the Silver Queen,
When the COWS come home.
With klingIe, klangle, klingle,
With loo-oo, o,and moo-oo, ,and jingle,
The cows are coming home
md over there on Merlin Hill,
Jones' the plaintive cry of the whip>
Tpoor-will,
md the dewdrops lie on the tangled
vines,
md over the poplars Venus shines,
And over the silent mill,
Ao~ling, ko>lang, kolinglelingle,
With ting>a~ling and jingle,
The COWS come slowly homo.
Iet down the bars let in the train
u long~gone songs, and flowers, and
rain,
crdear old times are come back t
~, [again !
When the COWS come home. /
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

Every Christian has three advocates
pleading for him. The first is that
divine love which is in the bosom of
the Father, the second is the Lord
Jesus; who is at the right hand Of the
Father, and the third is the Holy
Spirit who is one with the Father.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

To cure chicken cholera cut onions
fine, tops and all mix with wheat
bran or corn-meal, red pepper, grease
and water. The onions are the
essential. They will prevent cholera
as well as cure it. They will make
the hens healthy, and lay well. Feed
literally.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

After much Prnyfng5 waiting and
weeping, God usually comes with his
hands and his heart full of mercy to
his people. He loves not to come
empty-handed to those who have sat
long with fearful eyes ct mercy's
door.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

He spake we'll who said that little
graves are the footprints Of angels.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

In the battle of life there is but
one way to succeed fight it out your
self Give the helping hand when
you may. Take it if in some sore
strait it is offered freely; but never
wait for it be independent as far as
may be, if you would honor yourself,
or be honored by others, or be happy.
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

Few persons practice pruning Gu
cumber, melon, and other similar
kinds of vines, still it is just as bene-
fetal if properly done, as the annual
prunings of the grape and other
woody plants The pruning should
be confined, however, to the pinching
off Of the ends of shoots only,
Maryville Republican., 1876-10-07

The highest trees on the Sierra
Nevada, California, which have yet
been found, reach only 456 feet, the
average height being from 300 to 400
feet,
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1876-03-23
of the Treasurer Of
Ottawa County. Ohio.

TOLEDO, March 14.-Under strong
suspicion that John H. Magee, Treasu-
rer of Ottawa county, had been guilty
Of extensive speculation with county
funds, j. B. Alright, of Port Clinton,
was appointed examiner, and ordered
to examine into the condition of the
treasury by the State Auditor, and on
the 10Th ult. Wright attempted to take
possession of the treasury under war
rant but was resisted and torcibly ejec-
ted. The examiner then made pre-
liminary examination, and was subSe-
quently allowed to see the books, when
he ascertained defalcation of over 81
600 existed. He applied to the Probate
Court for warrant for the arrest of
Magee, which was refused, and then he
was arraigned before Justice of the
Peace at Genoa, on a warrant for resist
ing the examiner and for embeZzle-
ment. The examination took place
yesterday, and Magee was bound over
to the Common Pleas Court in $1,000
on each charge. 1t is asserted that the
investigation will show very rotten
state of affairs in the Ottawa county
treasury.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1876-03-23
Telling the Truth.

We extract the following from a
Washington special to the Enquirer, Of
yesterday. 1t fully confirms what has
often been said by others:
Neal of Ohio says: 1--WE are owned
by two or three men here" An Indi-
ana man says: Southern men are
running the Democratic party just as
they did before the war"
This is q very significant admission.
Southern men are running the Demo
cratic party just as they did before the
iOor." Before the war, Southern men
ran the Democratic party into the re-
bellion. Now the same men have re-
turned to Congress with their whips,
which they flourish and crack in the
style, and Northern Dem
ocrats-we will not say Northern men
crouch, with their tail between their
legs, at the feet of their masters, as
they did prior to 1861. The reason is
plain: An average Democratic Con-
gresham will sacrifice even his man.
hood for power. The Southern briga-
diers constitute large majority of the
Democratic side of the House. Without
that vote, the Democrats would be
powerless. Southern States can come
within fifty electoral votes of electing
the next President. The Northern
wing would be o mere tail to the South
ern kite, and that kite would not suffer
the tail to wag it. If Democratic
President should ba elected, his ad-
ministratioH would be controlled by
the men who sought to destroy the
Union, as the administration of Polk,
Pierce, and Buchanan were controlled,
and for similar purpose, and as the
Democratic party in Congress is now
Then Toombs would be in
his glory. He would trample under
foot the Constitutional amendments,
and by bribery and intimidation, rule
the country from the standpoint OF a
Southern rebel. The election of DEM
ocratic President in 1876 would lead to
another civil war. Southern men may
control and run the cowardly Demo-
Gratis sent to COngressfrom the North
ern States, but they can not control and
run the Northern people. The sooner
this fact is clearly understood, the bet
ter for all concerned. The people of
this country should be forwarned.-
+ Gin, G0z,
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1876-03-23
A Big Engine.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
The grand motor of the mechanical
part of the Exhibition is slowly rising
to view in the centr of Machinery Hall.
1t is a Corliss engine of 1000 horse
power, which is capable of doing the
work of $500 horses at need.
This Titanic engine Is coming on in
sections, by rail, from Providence, r.
1. 1t weighs altogether some 700 tons
i, ,400, 600 pounds. Sixty-five cars are
required to transport, and some of its
sections are so heavy that the cars on
which they are placed have to be of
great strength. For many weeks pick
ak men and masons were employed
upon its deep cemented foundations.
The strong frame of timbers by which
its several parts are hosting with pull
leys into place now swarms with work.
men nearly to the ceiling. The engine
will furnish 'power" to all the ma
chinery in the building. Piles of shaft
ing will lead from it down the long
aisles from end to end. There will be
eight main lines-four on each side of
the central transept where the engine
misunderstanding lengthwise. Seven
will have a speed of 12O revolutions,
and one will have speed of 240 revo-
lutiOns a minute. Conner shafts will
be introduced into the aisles at any
point.