The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-12-23
Going to the Dogs.

UOlHB W Ju6 OOBS'
u is the professed opinion Of numerous
timid and dissatisfied soals that this coun.
try is going to the dogs. Neither the par
ticular species Of dogs, nor the exact
quantity of them, is specified, but that
our beloved land is rapidly going to q
good many different kinds of dogs is con.
olusion to which every credulous person
must come who listens to the despairing
prophecies Of discontented old gentlemen.
Now, there is nothing to be gained by
shutting our eyes to the possibilities Of
the future When unpleasant people
make what at first glance seems to be an
unpleasant prophecy, it is much better to
boldly look the matter in the face. When
We are told that We are going to the dogs,
let us examine the character of the dogs,
and inquire what would be the result if
we were really to go to them. II ia far
better to know and to be prepared for the
worst that can possibly happen than it is
10 60 forward in foolhardy confidence un.
til the crisis is at hand, and We are COM
PEELED to face it without preparation, and
hampered by the demoralzation produced
by terrible surprise.
1t may be possible that the dogs are
already aware that the country is shortly
coming into their paws, and that they are
qualifying themselves for the vast respon.
sibility that is to be thrust upon them.
AT any rate, they have recently given
new evidence Of their wonderful intellec.
tual powers and extraordinary nobility of
soul. The other day Chicago dog, who
had been left at home 10 sole charge Of a
number Of young children, whose parents
had just stepped out for friendly divorce,
noticed that the youngest child had man.
aged to set her droas on fire. Instantly
that admirable dog threw the child down
on the floor, tore off its garments, and
saved its life. although, in the effort, he
sustained burns which will probably dis.
figure his tail forever. Our readers have
doubtless heard Of tho Oshkosh dog, who
had won brilliant reputation by drag
ging scores of drowning people out of the
water, but who, on seeing a wandering
book agent struggling in the lake, into
which he had accidentally fallen, turned
series Of joyful sommersaulte on the
bank, and then, fearing that the book
agent would struggle into shallow water,
deliberately swan out to meet him, and
held his head under until the good work
was fully accomplished. Then there is
the story of the dog belonging to oolored
preacher residing in Kentucky, into whose
house his neighbor's chickens were in the
habit Of breaking in the dead of night in
order to intimidate him, and whom the
same skeptical neighbor accused of hav.
ing wickedly robbed his hen. roost. One
day that intelligent dog determined to
avert all suspicion from bis master. The
very next time that a chicken broke down
his masters front door hc seized the in.
truder, carried it to the back yard of the
leading Presbyterian Elder, where be
carefully pulled out all its feathers. and
then carried the denuded corpse home to
his appreciative master. And then there
is the soAfaring dog belonging to down.
east schooner. who, meeting an unhappy
friend 10 Water street with tin kettle
tied to his tail by long string, carefully
took turn with the string around q tel.
egraph post. made it fast with q running
bowline, and then, taking his friend BY
the collar, hauled away until the sudden
unshipping of his tail set the ineulted an.
imal at liberty. And. finally, brief ref
erence may be made to the commercial
ability Of tho terrier dog Of Cincinnati
who. being extremely skillful in the cap.
ture of rats, was accustomed to retail them
to the local cats at so fai. price in cur.
rent bones, and who SO thoroughly com.
pretended the modern spirit Of trade that
hc was 10 the habit OF offering attractive
premiums in mice to the cat who should
bring him tho largest quantity Of bones
within given period.
II the country is really going TO suoh
intelligent dogs as these. what il there 10
tho prospect that need fill US With alarm
Surely, Congress of dogs would mako
fewer tedious spceches-except when de-
batting questions relating to the full moon
than would Congress Of American
statesmen. and would display quito as
much intelligence in graphing with the
financial problem as is displayed by the
average inaationist. 1t may be objected
that the dogs would legisate in their own
interests, but il must be remembered that
any legislation aiming at rendering bones
abundant and cheap would necessarily
benefit mankind, by reducing the price Of
butchers meat AS to oppressive game
laws in relation to rats, they could be
passed only by a Congress with large
terrier majority, and it is extremely i'm.
probable that, in a country where terriers
are in an unquestioned minority, they
would ever be able to gain control Of eli.
ther branch of Congress
When we think Of the dignifed appear.
sncc which would be presented by q Sen.
ate Of Newfoundland and mastiff dogs
sitting grayely on their tails, and listening
to profound argument from Pennsyl.
vania dog in favor ofproteotion to Amer.
ican bones, we can hardly deny that the
average Senate quarreling over question
of pig.iron would suffer by comparison
OF course, in SO large body as the House
Of Representative Dogs, a number of curl
and Spitz dogs would doubtless be found
but the good sense and patriotism Of The
settlers, pointers, and terriers would keeT
the disorderly element 10 subjeC:ion and
we may bo very certain that in no event
woald such House be capable of an at
tempt to throw the country into snarchy
in order to make wild, hopeless scram
bic for the public bones. Worse thing
may happen to US than national goinl
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