davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29
WIT N

81 THOUGHT the derned thing was a
water-cooler," remarked a fat lady
from the country the other day, when a
Centennial policeman ordered her to
"stop fooling'' with a Babcock fire-ex-
tinguisher.
GEORGE ELIOT was wise of speech
when she said: "Half the sorrows of
women would be averted il they could
repress the speech they know to be use
less-nay, the ~speechthey have resolved
not to utter.n
SOME people feel themselves obliged
at this season to get on the heated and
dusty railway and go off to some
crowded and generally uncomfortable
watering place. Happy the individual
who can afford to stay at home and
keep cool.-Rochester Chronicle.
The use of the editorial "we" pre-.
walls in Tennessee to q remarkable ex-
tent, as will be observed by the follow
ing remark in the Paris InteUigencer:
"lf we escape the hog cholera this
season there will be a large surplus of
pork next winter"
A MANUFACTURING firm in Lowell,
Massachusetts, has secured the patent
right Of u noiseless shoe. A shoe that
doesn't creak like II barn-door and wake
up the whole family when u man goes
home late at night, should be worth
millions to its inventor.
SOME persons have a nice way of put
ting things. They forgot to give u
STRANGER a napkin who entered arestaur'
ant yesterday to get his dinner, and
beckonins the waiter TO him he said
I've forgotten my handkerchief; ]
make IL n rule never to get grease on
my coat tail; and | positively cant
wipe my mouth on this marble slab"
AT the Centennial the Philadclphia
ladies cry out, "Isn't it c~unning?'
New York ladies, GLOW superbly love,
ly!" Boston ladies, "Ah, how cx,
quawsite!" Louisville ladies, "Be-uti,
ful, TO- sbuah!" Chicago ladies, "Oh,
MY wished | owned that" while tn,
genuine Yankee girls from the rura'
districts exclaim, "Geewhimminy, but
amt that ere a sumner, neowP"
LITERARY circles are discussing the
question whether a hen sets or sits. The
character of a hens hustle would seen
TO prevent her sitting down for relaxa
ton on any thing but the hollow side o
a quart bowl and as we never saw on,
lean back and put her feet on the man
tel-piece and spit on the stove we do no
feel that she knows how to sit properly
in the American manner This may b,
mere casuistry, but it looks as if the la,
of the matter was in favor Of a hen set
ting.-NorWich Bulletin.
Nosone might have been the wiser i
he hadn't studded his toe on the stree
yesterday, and sat down on the curb
stone to cry about it. No one with an,
heart in him can pass n grieving DO,
without making an attempt to consol
him. Little Tom wiped the tears away
scanned the nickel placed in his hand
and a faint smile crossed his face as h
said: "Thankee, sir, and, sir, do yo
know how long it takes canary seed t
grow into birds?" When asked TO eS
plain he said hat he planted five cent
worth in the back yard over a mont
ago, and he didn't see why the canar
birds didn't sprout up if they were eve
:, going to. He had faith, and who woul
have been mean enough to destroy it?-
Detroit Free Press.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29
The Escaped Fenians.

Letters dated the lSthand 10Th of April
last, received from Western Australia,
state that the Fcnian prisoners have all,
or all but one, escaped from the colony.
1t appears that on Easter Monday there
was a regatta near Freemantle, and
that the Controller-General and the
Captain of the Pensioners were present.
The usual force of pensioners and po-
lice, however, remained in Freemantle.
While the regatta was proceeding six
or seven of the prisoners managed to
escape to a piggery about u mile from
the prison, where they changed their
clothes and got into c~onyeyances which
were in waiting for them. They are be-
lieved to have been assisted by an Amer
lean who has been living in the district
for some time. They drove to Rock
ingham, nineteen miles from Freeman
| tie. They were received there by a man
named Bell, to whom they described
themselves as c~xcursionists. He at
tended to the horses and accompanied
them to the coast, where a boat had put
on shore belonging to the American
whaler Catalpa. The boat was manned
by one white man and five or six of col,
or. The prisoners told Bell they were
going on board. They had given
him money, and he asked what he wa;
to do with the horses and traps. The
reply was, "Let them 60 to -" Or
looking into one of the conveyances hi
found in it three prison felt hats, somt
patent revolyers, ammunition and t
ramrod. He at once suspected they
were escaped convicts, and gave tn,
alarm to the police.
The Georgette, with fourteen pen
%sioners, followed by the water polio,
boat, put of in pursuit. The Georgett,
steered in the direction of the whaler
and overlook her lying to about twelv,
miles Off the land. The mate was il
charge, and said the captain was not OIL
board, but away in one of his boats witt
six hands.
,, The George..c had in consequence t,
return to Freemantle. The boat belong
ing to the whaler had been overloade,
in consequence of the prisoners beini
added to the crew, and was unable u
stand a sea way. She kept along tn
land during the day and was followe'
by the police boat many miles astern
The boat, however, reached the Catalps
was picked up by her, and left with tn
fugitives.--London NeUs.
THE Japanese exhibit in Agriculture
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29
A New Yankee Doodle.
From the Boston pilot.l

From the Boston Pilot.l
The follow ~ poem, which ia filed with thrill
ling histor c associations, is by a we'll know
author, VINO, } Yankee poem Ia not injured b
tho fact tn. Il Ie writer lie a naturalized citizen
One day o. days in Boston town
Began our nations story,
When fret our martyrs blood flowed down
And dyed the streets with glory -
We marked IL with no vain regrets
But wrought for freedom faster,
TIL Gage sent out his bayoncts
To work us more disaster;
And as they marched TO Lexington
Their tune was "DrOps OF Brandy"
But the minutc-men soon made them ri
To Yankee Doodle Dandy
From height and hedge with right good will
Our Yankee balls did greet them;
And when they came to Bunker I'LL
Ohl we We're there to meet them.
We kissed the ground where Warren died,
Yet wept not to behold him.
But swore to see in freedoms pride
A frceman'sc earth euiold him!
In Boston town with warlike lin
They feared our blows to handy;
And Howe sailed out rs We sailed in
10 iunhcc DOOulC IhnlSl
Then Washington he smiled and said
"Full rough our path Of danger,
Yet nobly still that path wen trcai
To foil the dcspot stranger.
To die, If deaths to be our doom,
Ere tyrant's chains shall bind us;
Or live till Freedoms Tree shall bloom,
And frecmen leave behind usl"
And well lac said, and fast we grew
In Freedoms trade full handy,
And made the proud opprGssors ruo
Our lanhe Doodle Dandy
Then fell that fort in Indian land
Twas Ethan Allen won hcri
Then brave Montgomery, sword in hand,
Died on the field Of honor;
And as II lion turns in pain,
Red wrath and ruvin benton,
Our great chief crossed the ice again,
And slew the foe at IveDtoni
And fast from Jerscy's field OF strife
Fled ~iIessian, Bull, and Sandy,
While loud our Continental fife
Blew Yankee Doodle Dindyi
Then Gates fought on ill stout Burgoync
at Saratoga yielded;
And Green took meath the Southern limo
The sword that stuart welded.
And Washington, TO end the wars,
On brave CORVALLIS bore him
at Yorktown with our stripes and stars
And conquered all before lin.
And OH it was 4 sight to sec
The gold.laccd English granlco
Give up his sword to Liberty
And Yankee Doodle Daadyi
Willie shines the sun and beats the storm
Upon our stcadiast mountains,
May Liberty her glorious form
Battle in our native fountains;
May Plymouth Rock -till hear our guns
Boom free DER oceans waters;
May valor crown Culumbia's sons
And beauty deck her daughters;
May southern palm and Northern pine
From sea to desert sandy,
In bonds of love their roots cntwlne,
To Yankee Doodle Dasdyl
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29

draft resolutions and report in half an
hour. In half an hour the report was
ready. The resolutions were short and
spicy and to the point. They were car
ried by reclamation, and that was the
last ever heard of the anonymous adj
drpsa
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29

If you have any form Of ague, no matter
how obstinate, or how much other medicine
you have taken to no purpose, Shaiienber-
GERS Pills will cure you. Price one dollar.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29
.pr,r,pIE SAVINGS BANK.

One box OF DIR. TUFTS pills will save you many
dollars in doctors hills. They will surely cure Chill
and Fever; Dyspepsia; Disorderei Liver or Bo"e's'
sick Headache; JaundIee; or Chronic Constipation.
Only g cents,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29

DR.. SCHENCK's PULMoNIc SYRUP, SEA
WEED ToNIo AND MANDRAKE P~nLs.-Thsse med
iclnes have undoubtedly performed more cures OF
Consumption than any other remedy known to the
American public. They are compounded OF vege-
table ingredients aud contain nothing which can
be injurious to the human constitution. Other
remedies advertised - cures for Consumption
probably contain opium, which Is a somewhat
dangerous drug in all cases, and, II taken freely
by c~onsumptivs patients, 1t must do great injury;
for its tendency is to conhns the morbid matter In
the system, which, Of course, must make a cure
impossible. schenek's Pulmonic syrsp IL war
rsnted not to contain q particle Of opium. 1t Is
composed Of powerful but harmless herbs, which
act on the lungs, liver, stomach and blood, and
thus correct all morbid sscretions and expel all
the diseased matter from the body. These are the
only means by which Consumption can be cured.
and, as schenck's Pulmonic Syrup, Sea- Weed
Tonic and Mandrake Pills are the only medicines
which operats In this way, Il 10 obvious they are
the only genuine cure for Pulmonary Consump.
lion. Each bottle Of this invaluable medicine 10
accompanied by full directions. ID. Sehsnck Il
professionally at his principal once, corner Sixth
and Arch streets, Philadelphia. every Monday,
where all lsttsrs for advios must b. sddrssssa
The GREAT FAMILY MRpIcMl.-Dr. WI.
hoft's Anti. Periodic or Fever and Ague Ton
lei No case OF incurablc Chills has yet pro
scented itself, where this scientific and cafe
medicine has been employed. No case has
been found SO obstinate as 70 resist Iii
prompt and mastery action. No man has
been so reduced by malarial Influences, but
with it's use has come up perfectly recon,
structed. No pills or purgative required
| With this medicine. q. r. fIsLAI q Co.
i Projectors, New Orleans.
| Foa sALx pr ALL DRpeGIsfs,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29

THE ENORMOUS wAsTAGE Of grain, 90 aaaaahs
riih other stvLes Of Threshers, can be SAVED By nAs
Improved Machine, suFcias, On eVeFy 700, 10 more IAN
pdy al expenses Of t~hreshing.
FLAX, TIMOTHY, MILLET, HUNGARIAN and
like seeds are threshed, separated, cleaned and saved
- easily aud perfectly as Wheat. Oats, Bye OF barley.
AN EXTRA PRICE 10 usually paid for GRIN end
seeds cleaned by this machine, for extra sieanlinasst
IN THE WET GRAIN OF 1876, these were suhstan-
tally the ONLY MACHINES that could run with proos
or economy, doing hast thorough aud perfecs work,
sAea othss utsr5 faded
ALL GRAIN, TIM and MONEY wasting conpioa.
lions, such a. sfndless Aprons" ~RAddies," sbsstsne'
"Fiekers," etc, src eukfsly dlPsnssd seaAi - uaEn
onehalf the usuAl Gears. Belts, Boxes. and J0urnAis:
eaAisr Rikhased: more durable light running no COST
~ repairs; no dust: no "htferings" TO clsan up; ma
troubled by adverse wind. rain or storms.
FARMERS and GRAIN RAIsERs Who arc poasd
In the large saving made By it will not employ hafs
-ior and wastefal machines, but VIII tssat On m
improved Threshsr doing their work
FOUR SIZES made for q q 10 and n Horse
Powers. Also . speciality Of sksAkAroaA dsigned
and made ExPRKssII FOR STEAM rovRn.
TWO sTYLE OF HORSE P0wERS vs: our imr
proved cripple Gear" and our .spur Speed" (Woot-
bury styiel both Mounted 4" on Jew wheels
IF INTERESTED In Threading or Grain RAirnG,
apply TO our nearest Dealer, or write 10 as for nlustr'
ted Circular (ssat ffesl, giving fan partisslss Of siss.
eQles, Prices. Terms, etc.
Nch0ss, Shepard % o.,
RATTLE CREEK, MICH.
wa ss HkI.-H66
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29

THE Japanese exhibit in Agricultural
Hall is said to equal any Of the foreign
nations in neatness aud variety. In silk
culture 1t affords a field for profitable
instruction,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29
PERRY SPRINGS

PIKE co I'LL.
The hotels at these wonderful Springs Will be open
for the reception of guests on June l.. Remember,
that the waters OF these springs will cure srsyy eaSs
OF Dyspepsia or no charge will be made for board.
They are also invaluable In all cases OF diseases OF
the Kidneys, Bladder, stomach and Bowels, having
cured several cases OF thai hitherto ineurable disease
DIABKrks, Water shipped In wood or glass.
Stages connect with all trains ON T.. W.. 4 v. Rail-
road at Perry Springs Station, send for circular.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-06-29
ST. LOUIS MIDLAND FARMER FREE.
WORK FOR US !

We wan, local agents In every County linen who will make
an active personal canvass. Work must begin now for fall
delivery, Use ofbook Of eolored plates free. We deliver trees
and plants at your depot free ofexpsnse, and guarantee sat-
lsfaeiion. Our list OF new things exceeds In value and novelty
any thing onered elsewhere. WESTERN AGxSCS, HEik1s
SURsEEiKs, St. Louis, No. lhO acTea- Established lh21l
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30
UVRRYENG 4 HANGING.
How "a California Murderer was Hung
M without a Warrant

In the olden time, in Plumas county,
a man was arrested for murder, tried
and convicted and sentenced to be
hanged. The case was taken 20 the Su-
preme Couat on appeal. Finally de
cision was filed affirming the Judgment
or the covrt below, and directing that
the defendant be resentenced to death
In those days the Sacramento NnIOH
was about the only paper circulating In
that remote county, ana whatever ap-
peared in its columns was taken as be-
ing undoubtedly the fact. The number
containing the Supreple Court decision
arrived at the county seat, and the sher-
iff saw 1t, and concluded that the matter
was settled finally. So, walking into
the Jail, he addressed the defendant
with, We'll, the Supreme Court has
affirmed the Judgment in your case it s
printed in the Sacramento Union"
is it?' said the prisoner that's
rough, but | guess III have to stand it. T"
Well" said the sheriff, Il have got
to hang you; you have been in here q
good while, an expense to the county,
and the sooner the thing is over the
better"
There Is no use being In a hurry"
said the prisoner; give fellow a
chance to get ready"
IioW Will tiN OF VI IibAL Wtth 5Ult
you ?" asked the sheriff
"Oh, what is the use Of all that hurry
call it the last of the week :
Well, we split the difference and call
it "Wednesday afternoon said the
officer.
This was acquiesed in by the party in
interest, and at the appointed time he
was taken out and hanged.
At the opening of the District Court
at the following term Judge II. II. Tay-
lor, now Of Virginia City, who was then
on the bench, inquired Of the clerk If
the remittitur had been sent down and
being advised in the affirmative. said !.
" guess we had better have the pris-
oner brought up this morning and re-
sentenced" He was rather surprised
when the sheriff innocently informed
him that the law had already been fully
satisfied, and that the criminal had been
sent before a court whence there could
be no appeal.
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30
sultan Grant.
IN. Y. sun


The new Sultan Murad signalized his
accession to royalty by giving fat places
to his brothers-in-law, and the banker
who befriended him in adversely. He had
evidently taken lessons from our Sultan
GfRRyo GfRRy oy We f2T Be sSS saks Of R2yershs5dl a. 5l
have 50 large and 50 disagreeable lot
of brothcrs-in law as infests our pa
ternal ruler. Grant, however, went
ahead Of Murad. He not only provided
for all his brothers-in- law. but he also
turned over fat pickings to his own
brother, Orvil, gave high rank to his
son, Prince Fred, and loaded the Trea-
sury with all his relatives and connec-
tions near and remote He also holped
his banker friends, Henry Clews and
JAY Cooke, and let no one Of his old
GaIena and st. Louis cronies suffer de
privation of the bounty of the Govern
ment or the whisky rings. Therefore,
as "a friend and relative, Sultan Grant
beats Sultan Murad out OF sight.
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30

pends for its verincation In November
on the maintenance OF their present rel
ative positions before the country
With the issues as they now stand, |
believe we can succeed. The introduction
OF new ones might be fatal 1t Is quite
possible for the Democratic party to
lose In a month, or q week, or a day,
the advantageous position which it now
holds Another affair like that OF Ham
burg would do the work. Indeed, but
for that fatuous and almost fatal act, |
should not consider the election to be
doubtful. 1t Is uDdeniable that since
that occurrence the hopes Of the Re
publicans have risen, and that they
nave been able to faunt the bloody
shirt before the country with more eff
feet than they had previously dared to
hope. 1t will require weeks OF steady
effort, and the display of rare modera-
ton and sagacity on the part Of the
Southern Democracy to overcome the
evil effects OF the Hamburg emeute, aud
to win back the wavering support Of
many thousand voters. who, but for that
affair, would have already pronounced
for Tlden.
RAILROAD TRAVEL.
In my last letter told you something
of my journey from New Orleans TO
Chicago, and or my brief experience in
that city. From there TO New York
came by the T. @. and Fort Wayne and
the Pennsylvania road. OF this route
| cannot say too much in praise For
speed, regularity and comfort 1t Is un-
surpassed, perhaps even unapprOach-
able. In comfort for the traveller it
coDspiciously contrasts with the New
York Central. on which line the general
insolence and surliness OF the officials
and employees, Is something quite won
derful. The New York Central persists
in using Wagner's Sleeping Car. which,
In no respect, compare With Pullman 8,
and Wagners Drawingroom cars,
which seem to me to be invented for
plunging the unhappy traveller into the
lowest depths OF misery. Altogether
think / am entirely safe in recommend
ing the Chicago route and the Pennsyl-
vania line to all those who wish to miti-
gate, as far as possible, the inevitable
fatigues OF long railway journey to
avail themselves of all that energy,
skill and courtesy have been able to
accomplish, and to break their trip at a
city which is rs well worth seeing rs
many OF the famous towns Of Europe,
aud better worth seeing than any Amer
lean city West of the Alleghanes.
d. DA p
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30

with you they will be happy. l know
they suffered as much as you did there
fore, consider it Is my duty when in
office to treat those people kindly, as
they deserve, and see to 1t that they get
their rights.
Gentlemen. you have lightened my
burden, as / have stated so much that I
scarcely can say anything in regard to
what will be the policy. but will follow
second to gallant leadership.
Ny friends, in this convention, / would
fail ii / were to attempt to find words to
return thanks to you. / say, gentlemen,
this is the brightest day of my life
LApplause Never did | dream that
friends would be SO constant and true,
steadfast and Jealous, as my friends
have shown themselves on this occasion.
had no idea, fellow citizens, that IN
this State-I mean by that my city and
country friends / would find so much
sincerity Therefore, gentlemen. |
thank you one and thank you all /
promise you all the assistance can
bring to bear. / know all my friends
viii work. in the city of New Orleans as
well rs in the State, 50 much, and SO
well, and so faithfully, that we will roll
up u majority TO elect the ticket.
Gentlemen. j thank you from the bot
tom of my heart.
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30
ENCOURAGEMENT for Peter Cooper.

From the St Louis Commercial Gazetie.I
The possible candidacy OF the Hon.
Peter Cooper for the Presidency has sub
jected him to not little ill-advised ridi-
cule by reason of his age, he being up
ward OF 80 years OF age. That this
should 1t be a disqualification can be
illustrated by numerous cases from his
tory, in which the subjects undertook not
only the government OF State in time of
peace, but also successfully guided the
ship OF State through the turbulent seas
OF sanguinary war. The case Of Enrico
Dandolo is In point. He was elected to
the high Office OF Doge of Venice in 1892,
when in his s7th year. At this advanced
age he carried on war with the PlsanS,
aud closed it to an advantage Ous peace.
At the siege of Constantinopls ;, when in
his 95th year, he greatly distinguished
himself, and was the first who leaped
on shore.
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30

on five minutes notice, and took posses
sion Of the city government. The events
OF the 4th of January, 1875, are too fresh
in your memories to require any rehear-
sal by me. Suffice it TO say, he was the
hero Of the occasion; and from the coun-
Gil halls of the nation to the humblest
hamlet in the land, glowing encomiums
and praise were bestowed upon his hon
Ored name
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30

The State Penitentiary, which under
the Republican administration shows a
deficit OF S25, 900 against the Warden, is
now paying the State $4,000 a year
profit under the Democratic Warden.-
Mobile Register.
The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-07-30

Mr.. Watterson says in the courier
Journnl:
Hold the swag, for Hayes Is coming;
'Lysses keeps tine Il l.
Send he answer 10 Ben BristOw-
Zach will foot the Dill.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1876-08-05

governor, where the same danger threat
ems the peace Of his state, 30 on in the
conscientious discharge Of his duties to
the humblest % we'll - the PEoudest cit
izen. and will give every aid for which
can find law or constitutional power.
The government that cannot give protec.
ton to life and property and all gusran-
teed civil rights in this country, the
greatest of which il an untrammeled bal.
lot 70 the citizens, 10 in 20 far failure,
and every energy Of the oppressed should
Be exerted always with law and BY con.
stitutioual means, to regzin lost privi.
leges and protection. Too long denial Of
guaranteed rights il sure to lead to revo-
fution-bloody revolution-where the
suffering must fall upon the innocent as
we'll % the guilty. I express the hope
that the better judgment and co-opera-
ton of the citizens Of the state over
which you have presided 30 ably may
enable you to secure . fair trial and
punishment Of al offenders, without dis
tinction Of race OF color, or previous con.
ditiou, and without aid from the federal
but with promise Of such
aid on the conditions named in the fore
going, ] subscribe myself, very respect
fully, your obedient servant,
u. 8. GRANT.