The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-11-14
MISCELLANEOUS.

COrsicana Index: The DALLAS DAILY
HERALD is one Of the liveliest and
sprightliest dailies in this State, and
one of the very few daily papers in it
which are making money. Success to
ye, Simpson.
Boston Advertiser A very precise
person, remarking upon Shakespeare's
line "Thc good men do is oft inferred
with their bones, carefully observed
that this interment can generally take
place without crowding the bones.
/ Brooklyn Argus The great question
that now arises is, Can Turkey pre-
serve her autonomy A man may
lose his teeth and be snatched bald
headed without fatal consequences, but
if he loseshis autonomy where is he?
Boston Herald: A teacher in Port
land Sunday school was enlightening
her pupils as to the extraordinary num-
Der OF Solomon's wives. when little
fellow spoke up and said "Golly, !
should think he would have got tired of
going a counting and getting marriedW
Norristown Herald; 1t is said
that hen held up by one
leg will not squeak half as much as
when both legs are grasped. Thanks
giving day is only month hence and
persons who are accustomed to pur-
chase their poultry at night, a few hours
after the fowls have retired, will do
well to cut this out and paste it in their
hats.
Savannah News; Things is getting
slouchways in dis country, | declar to
erasmus ef dey amt, said an old negro,
the other day" "First come the cat
typillcr, den de chicken kollery, an
now here comes the grasshoppers, an |
here talk de udner day dat niger was
pisened with a mushmillion. Looks
like hard times-you heerd my horn. 4
Chicago Tribune; An honest
reformer from Posey county, In
diana, misled by an analogy Of
sight, went into q restaurant the other
day, aud obseryinga sign CLANS, said
tothe waiter, Gimme dozen of them
Southern claims on the half shell-our
boyes does nothing but talk about them,
| want to see what they are like.
A pickering pair of Quakers were
lately heard in high controversy, the
husband eXclaiming: ~ am determined
to have one quiet week with thee
But how wilt thou be able to get ity'
said the haunting spouse, in that sort OF
reiteration which married ladies so pro-
vokingly indulge in 81 will keep thee
week after thou art dead, was the
Quaker's rcjolnder
Hunt County Independents Texas
is the only Southern State for which an
army OF deputy United States marshals
were not appointed to take possession
of the polls to see that the election was
fairly conducted, and yet that Old vii
lain, A. B. Norton, the Dallas postmas-
ter, declared in his speeches in ONO
and Indiana that Democrats were Kill
ing negroes promiscuously in Texas,
and that our people were no better than
thieves and murderers.
The other day a German, leaning
against . hitchingpost on Washington
street, looked up at the sky and re
marked: al guess lcedle it will rain
sometime pooty queek" "Yees do, eh?"
replied an lrishmNn at his SIDE, wei,
want wees to understand that yees
have no business to come over to Amer
lea and say anything tornlnst the wealth
err Plat the devil do yees purtend TO
know about American weather any
how, We furrin galootY The German
had no more to say.
Eureka (Nev.) Sentinel When Mr.
Thomas Fitch had got through speak
ing at rruckee few nights ago, he was
approached by an individual who was
somewhat under the weather, who
shook his hand and thus addressed him
"Askuse me, Mr.. Fitch; I've bin list
min to you talk, and ! may say that
admired yer speech Yourn an orator
an I'm gambler. | could be n oralo
eff wanted ter but, shaw, won I nav
it. | drink an gamble, but there's ON
temptation I'm goin to resist, and that
BEN n'orator.
Detroit Free Press The man VIII
wants to 90 10 81 PETERSBURG a"u una
in the Russian army to fight the Turk'
was at the Central depot yesterday, an
inquired, "What's the fare to st. Peters
burg" Five hundred dollars 10
much; III give YOU four hundred.
I'VE have but one rate, said the ageh
And you won't let me 90 for four hui
dred dollarsY' Couldn't do 1t. me
won't go. I'm n patriot from head !,
foot, but can't let no railroad swlha'
me- I'm the bloodiest kind OF Dora'
wildcat and Russia wants me bad o'
that hundred dollars opens n great gu
between us. FFH tl
Leavenworth Times Levi to ma
with secondhand coat to sell-"Do 70
know how much | wouldn't gil Tor q
goat gif twelve shillings. Owner
hts worth S." Fife tollarl Shu,
wait till gall my wife and dell her a
we haf u lunatic in der store. WI
mine goot trent, you must hat bin su
strOke hv der heat last summer. Al