Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-03-31
Fl II U O K.

ARE You LIKE THIS DEITsCHERMAN?
AS rule there isn't better class Of
people in the world to deal with than the
Germans, but occasionally you will find
one whose ideas concerning certain bust
ness transactions are amusing.y peculiar.
For instance: A German subscriber to the
ssJournal'' recently called to advertise a
lost COW, and according to ;he long estab-
-<fisihsd cvctona Of the welllreg ulated print
shop, we immediately wrote up the notice
and figured up the cost of publication.
''Vot ish dot?' asked our friend, placing
the butt end of his whip on our little sum
of multiplication.
We informed him that it would cost him
so much for advertising his lost COW for
three weeks. fa
Ky on make me ray for dat?"
certainly; we always take pay for ad-
vertising."
''You takes pay, Ell? Veil, dot is Won
tam shvildle I schribe nit dot ''Shour-
nal' baper desc three years, ind now you
sharge me ycost for Won little advert ise-
ment NV mine gow.''
but We"
''You shtop my bapers."
ssBut see here, my friend
81 go right away und dond got sheated
nit you, Ply krasllus. Tink you got some
sleep nit veasal, dond you. Sharge me
yoost for advertise Won gov! Itvos better
NV you dond got me mad ven l gone here,
und shribe nit dat 'sShournal'' more AS
tree year, but you makes me mad und you
stop mine bapers before got it next dime.
Dot ish vot man I am kind NV, Ply shiminy."
We tried to explain; we tried in vain;
we lost him and three weeks advertise
ment Of a s'lost gov, Ply shiminy !''-Doeoell
Journal.
He was on his knees to her. His face
was flushed, his eyes cleaned passionately
into hers, he talked rapidly: IN othing shall
separate us evermore. my darling. For your
sake will beard the lion in his den will
face death on the battlefield L will skim
the seas I will endure all hardships, all
suffering, all misery ~ o.
He paused and looked eagerly to her,
with his whole soul quivering in his eyes.
'Will you do all this for the sake of my
love ?'' said she, gazing earnestly into his
burning eyes.
Eyes, yes, a thousand times ves'
''And if we wed" continued she, flush
ing slightly, twill you get up first and build
the fire 20
With shrek of despair he fled.
A Cherokee Qowa) juryman got to play
ing with chemical fire extihguisher, while
cogitasing OF a verdict, when the pesky
thing (the extinguisner, not the verdict)
went off and completely deluged with water
and gases a lady passing under the court
house windows. The woman felt much put
out by the sudden immersion, while the
juryman ''swore to gum" that he never
knowed a water tank to get up on its ear
in that fashion afore in allhis born days -
Scene, "a butchers stand Butcher: Come.
John, be lively now; break the bones in
Mrs Williams chops and put Mr.. Smiths
ribs in the basket for him. John, bliSkly
All right, sir, just as soon as I've sawed off
Mrs. Murphy's leg.
A Chicago man has not been bothered by
his wife to get worsted for her since the
morning he appeared pleased to do such an
errand, and incidentally spoke of the en-
gaging young lady who tended the worsted
counter.
A Southern bookbinder bound UP eight
cen dime novels between Bible cove, 5, and
a preacher carried the book seven miles
under his arm to read some consoling pas
sages to dying woman.
Says an occasional contributor: A re-
vlvalist grocer on Sixth Avenue displays
the sign, ''Hold the Fort-een eggs for %
eents.'' He must be a Layman.
:. To dance well, a man should know as
sittle as possible of everything else. He
can balance partners better If his hair is
paAted in the middle.