Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-06-07
"A Little Fun Now and Then. !,
An Altoona, Pa, man has family
of seventeen boys.

le show puts this conundrnm: "Why
10 the Centennial like home? Bccaus
A. it is the dearest spot OH earth"
n Now they say tho peport of tn,
a shower Of flies In Canada IL tru
q enough II you knock the "f' off q
$, flies. They often have such shower
II in Washington.
. Tom Thumb Is going to Texas t
L live, and the Chicago Times think
u that some day we shall hear of Tor
: = being abducted by a Texas grasshop
= A Philadelphian has Just been sen
to Jail for slapping his adult daugh
n ter's face, the Judge holding that sncl
. parental rights did not extend t,
adult age,
: A fluent lawyer was suddenl,
4 checked by Surrogate Calvin, Of New
York, with the scntentious remark
$ ut does not strengthen an argumen
to repeat it" 49,.
: Grasshoppers are chewing up the
growing tobacco crop of Hancock
' county. Kentucky. The tobacco flea
is finishing the work by sucking the
' stubble.
1T was New Jersey woman who
said "My dear, if you can't really
. drink bad coffee without abusing me
, how is it that you can always drink
bad whisky without abusing the bar
keeper ?"
A Kemper's Bluff Cfex.) young man
named Thomas, acquired the habit OF
tossing cooked and loaded pistol in
the air,and catching it as it fell. The
last time he caught it was immedi.
ately before he died.
The Texas Legislature has enacted
a law by which it is made a misde.
meanor, punishable by fine of 500,
for any person to use profanc lang.
uage within hearing Of the occupants
of any rivate residence.
Another monster petition has lust
been presented to the English Parlia-
ment praying that no further grants
of money to or for the royal family
or any member of it shall be given
under any circumstances whatever.
An Irishman being tried for as
sault and battery, in Virginia City,
Nevada, when asked by Judge Knox
if he had anything to say by way of
defense, replied: "Well, your honor.
l saw but little of the fight, as I was
underneath most of the time."
4 An old man fell asleep In Council
Bluffs (Iowa) church on n recent Sun
day afternoon, and his nose got wedg-
ed into n book rack so that he could
not get it out. After he had thrashed
about and snorted good deal, the
sexton released him by splitting open
the rack.
A negro writing in Frdzer's Naqa-
zine about his own race says that the
American slave came from the most
degraded of the African tribes: but
that the music of religion is in his
soul. He is naturally Protestant.
A lady at Maquoketa, in this State,
put one man to good use last Sat-
urday. She killed him. He attempt-
ed to outrage her person, and she,
having pistol near at hand, shot
him dead. 1t issome satisfaction to
know that one of these devils is dead,
and that a woman killed him.
William johnson, colored, a resi-
dent of Midway, KY, no longer is an
advocate of coal oil lamps. He blew
down the chimney of one last week
to extinguish the light, and the lamp
exploded leaving him i'm first class
condition to turn blind beggar.
DR.. Curry, in the Methodist Gener-
al Conference, thought the Ladies'
Repository now deserved decent bur-
ial, as it had outliyed its usefulness.
The Conference thereupon, with much
merriment, elected DIR. Curry editor
of the Repository.
A female preacher at Lcavenworth
brought down her fist on the table i'm
the midst Of the scrmon,and prophet
ically exclaimed: "Yes. my dearly
beloved, when Susan B. Anthony
marries, therell be one less male ty-
rant in this world
A New Jersey street car driver
wrote to his sweetheart: 81 don't
care lnuch what / do, you seem to be
stuck up above hoss car driver; if
my hands is large my heart is too. /
want you to understand that it is easy
to cry tears, but at the same time your
heart may be tuffer'n bell strap.
A judge in Monmouth county, Nj,
once cautioned an old negro who had
been acquitted not to be found in bad
company again. "Much 'blige to you,
Marsa,' he replied, 81 allus 'spects
you advise; but de fact am, Marsa,
dat good company and bad company
look so much alike dat dis niggah
can't tell the difference until he git
right in 'em"
| Those who have not been to Phila-
delphia since the Exhibition opened
can have very little idea of the enor-
nous amonnt of bunting displayed
throughout the entire city. 1t looks
as if Washington's birthday, Fourth of
July, Christmas, THANKSGIVING, and
the Centennial had all come together.
The New Ulma, Minn., Herald
learns that sin localities where, a few
days since, the ground was full of
grasshopper eggs, neither eggs nor
hoppers can now be found. Old set
tiers in the grasshopper district tell
us that they unaccountably disap-
peared in the same manner when
here, few years since, and were
never afterward heard Of"
The Bellyillc Hotel, East St. Louis,
built on piles driven into the quick
sand, began to sink at night after
most of the guests had gone to bed. 1t
went down SO fast that there was
barely time to get everybody out be-
fore the roof alone was left in sight.
| The proprietor hitchcd ropes to his
building, but in spite of his efforts his
building was out of sight before
morning.
Mary X. Dallas writes: ssThe mo-
ment a girl has secret from her
mother, or has received letter she
dare not let her mother read, or has
a friend whom her mother does not
know, she is in danger The fewer
secrets that lie in the hearts Of women
of any age the better. 1t is almost a
test Of purity. In girlhood do moth
ing that, if discovered by your father,
would make you blush"
A little Georgia shaver recently
took his first ride in Milledgeville
train IWhen the cars moved of he
nestled closer to his mother, and as
its speed increased he began to show
some signs of CONSERVATION. Tears
stood in his eyes, and when he saw
that his weakness was observed he
biubbered aloud, 81 amt afraid, but
! wish had my photograph taken
before l got on this thing"
Valuable information from new
book: ''The careful mother of the
East uses great care in order that her
child's mouth, nose and ears
shall be beautiful. While it is in
swaddling clothes, she models the
nose and chin by shaping them with
her own fingers twenty-five or thirty
times day. She also fills and covers
the ears with cotton, 80 that they will
retain natural shape while the child
is in bed"
The New York Times denounces
the "Spitz" dog as a 'swhited canine
sepulchre." He is cross between the
| EsaniMauX dog and tho A rcfic fox