Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1876-02-05
Items Of Interest.

Items Of Interest.
Statisticians say that there are over
1900, 900 civilians In the United
.. States, without counting little bills.
Baltimore american: II is a curious
|, fact that every prominent journalist in
this country is an exceptionally good and
large hearted man.
eyes, want my daughter to study
rhetoric" replied Vermont mother,
: "for she can't fry pancakes now without
} smoking the house all up"
There are in Illinois. according to a
late report Of the board OF education,
fifty four colleges for males, six for fe-
males, and thirty five academies and
seminaries.
A lazy fellow falling distance Of fifty
feet and escaping with only q few
scratches, bystander remarked that he
was too slow to fall fast enough to
hurt himself"
A Passaic father wants to know "what
will keep o respectable, but poor young
man, from hanging around the front OF
the houseG" Tell him the girl is sitting
on the back fence.
Mrs. Snyder, of Cairo, hid behind tho
door and jumped out to give her hus.
band glad surprise. The cigar in his
mouth jammed into her eye, and she is
now seeking divorce.
A vegetarian, who was lodging an in
furiatsd bull behind a tree, exclaimed:
"You ungrateful beast, you toss a yege-
tartan, who never ate beef in his life
Is this the return you make"
The keeper Of a lunatic asylum in
Bristol, England, went on q spree with
one Of the maniacs, fought with him
when both had become drunk, and broke
three of his ribs with kicks.
"I thought you said your head ached
five minutes ago." said mother, when
George asked for more candy. $50 l
did," said George, "and l suppose it
does now, only can't feel it,
A pond of water in northern Alabama,
embracing some ten acres, suddenly dis
appeared with loud rumbling sound,
and large hole, down which the water
poured, is all that remains to mark the
spot.
"John Henry" said his wife, with
stony severity, ~ saw you coming ont
Of a saloon this afternoon" "Well,
madam" replied the obdurate John,
"you wouldn't have me stay in there,
would you2"
A raptured writer inquiries: "What
is there under heaven more humanizing,
or, if we may use the term, more angel
izing, than fine black eye in lovely
woman 2" Two black eyes is the only
answer thought of at present.
By the latest census Ireland has 5, 412,-
397 inhabitants, divided, as to religion,
as follows: Roman Catholics, 4, 15O,-
857; Protestants, 1861, $40. Or the
Protestants 687,9 are reported as
Episcopalians and 497,64s as Presby-
terians.
The Hon. J. Y. Swan, Cent nnial
commissioner for Indian curiosities OF
the northwest coast, has secured in
Alaska wooden column thirty feet long
and four wide and thick, on which is
carved a number of immense heads OF
Indians
A young married man who talked
about "Tom and Jerry" in his sleep,
the other night, told his wife next morn
ing, upon being called upon for an ex-
planation, that Tom and Jerry" were
very warm friends of his, and she
seemed satisfied.
A young woman in Chicago put her
false teeth in a glass of water at night,
and in the morning found them imbed-
ded in chunk Of solid ice. She was
late at breakfast, the process OF thawlng
out the teeth with bonfire of matches
having been slow.
"It is an ill wind that blows nobody
good" A Tennessee farmer had his
crops, stock, etc., damaged by the late
floods to the extent of 81, 600, but gained
by the deposit of rich sediment on 800
acres of land, which he values at s., 500,
or clear gain over the loss OF 900.
Some Western newspapers are sug-
gesting that provision be made at the
Centennial to receive contributions to
aid Mr.. Ross in searching for his miss
ing child. The sentiment of sympathy
for the heart-broken father is so wide
spread that it is believed large sum
would be received.
The Chicago distillers, whose distiller-
les were seized, petitioned to he allowed
to continue their works, because other
wise the cattle fed there would starve.
The court asked if they could not be fed
elsewhere, to which one distiIer, who
feeds 1924 of them on the slops, said
that "their food could not be changed,
as their teeth had become soft"
The chairman of a vigilance COM
mittee, who was instructed to duck an
obnoxious citizen, thus reported to his
constituents "We took the thief down
to the river, made a hole in the ice, and
proceeded to duck him but he sllpped
out of our hands, and hid under the ice:
All our efforts to entice him to come out
failed, and he has now had his starr
some hours"
"What am made of" asked little
girl fresh from her first Sunday school
lesson, as she essayed to show oil her
knowledge to a younger sister.
don't know" was the honest answer.
" What does mamma sweep up from the
floor 2" was the first speakers next trial
in the Socratic method. "Pins, needles,
and hairpins, was the prompt but un-
expected response.
A lady who had Just lost her husband
was weeping and lamenting: "Ah,
mother" she cried, raising her eyes to
Heaven, "I should gladly give half my
life to be eight days older" "Why,
nv child 2" asked her mother. The be-
reaved one, regarding affectionately the
photograph of her dead husband, an :
swered !" Because, then should no
longer be grieving over my loss.
William Snow, of Litchfeld, N. T.,
was driving his hogs into their yard the
other morning, when large and valua-
bic boar turned upon him and struck
his tusk into his leg, through clothing,
boot and fiesh, splintering the bone.
After a desperate fight Snow escaped.
Int when he reached the house he faint
cd. and remained unconscious two hours.
So badly mangled was he that his life
was despaired of, but he is slowly re-
covering.
The London Lit meet very opportunely
warns the medical profession, and Others
not familiar with the symptoms of brain
d;aoaso of tha uroent necessity of trent.