The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1876-12-09
GLEANINGS.

He who goes a narrowing goes sor-
! rowing.
The dumb man is most certain to keep
/ his word.
! "A soft voice is a beautiful thing when
/ it says Eyes = at the right time.
The man who makes counterfeit money
brings false issues before the people.
The man caught in the act was trying
to get over an act of the Legislature.
The voices of the rich and great are
mistaken for errors, and those of the poor
and lowly for crimes
-" You try in vain" says pithy writer,
"to sweep the mist from your door with
broom, but when the sun shines upon it,
how soon it disperses."
One Paris rag picker asks another:
"Why don't you pick up that bundle of
parers?' "Why should II" says the
other; "they are Turkish bonds.'
The idea of postal cards first originated
with the present Postmaster General of
the German Empire, but the honor of in
Producing them was gained by citizen of
Vienna.
The Knoxville " Wing" figures it ND
that rum costs the United States 5000, OOO.-
oOO annually, and the clergy $4,000, 600.
Why not abolish the clergy? We must
economic.
The Italian lO0-ton gun is a good deal
more than large enough to take man in
whole. To ascertain if it is damaged, a
man lies down on a gigantic marrow spoon
with candle in his hand and is pushed
slowly down the bore, examining it as he
goes along.
People have been so long accustomed
to the stereotyped method of clerical beg
ging-'a liberal collection is requested -
that it is quite refreshing to light upon
something new. A church notice recently
concluded with the following appeal
'Generous offerings respectfully asked"
Madame Y has charming features,
charming arms, charming hands-but she
has monstrous feet. Just recovering from
long illness, she said recently to one of
her friends: am still very feeble, but l
begin to be able to put one foot before the
other And that is not saying little"
murmured the excellent friend.
BY statistics it is shown that within
the limits of the island of Java every year
about three hundred people are eaten by
carnivora, two hundred by the crocodiles,
one hundred killed by the rhiuoceros, five
hundred killed by lightning, while one
hundred die by snake bites, and varying
number by earthquakes and volcanic action.
The reason why there are so many
single men in the mining States is found at
last. The way silver was discovered in
Nevada explains it. A woman picked up
stone TO throw at her husband. 1t was.
SO heavy that she examined it, and it proved
to be ID lump of silver. so, 600, 900 was
the result of this to-the country. But the
women must remember that there is no
silver in this State, so no experiments, if
you please.
-IroFtiDia! phlloSophy no woman
her age. Never joke with policeman.
Do not play at chess with widow. Never
contradict man who shutters. Be civil to
rich uncleS and aunts. Your oldest hat, of
course, for an evening party. Always sit
next the carver, if you can, at dinner.
Keep your own secrets. Tell no human
being you dye your whskers. Wind up
your conduct, like your watch, once every
day, minutely examining whether you are
fast Or slow. Make friends with the stew
ard on board a steamer-;here is no know
ing how soon you may be in his power.