The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-12-10
TnH BAIDBEhDED q UBsr.



Since the close of the Exhibition, and
indeed for many weeks prior to that event, Mr..
Pmpleton has confined his table talk almost ex-
clusively to the wonderful things which he saw
At Philadelphia Mr. PimpIeton spent week
there, and II has hitherto been his constant
boast that In si1 days he saw all there wac worth
seeing.
The world was made In ak days." he has been
wont TO observe, and IL stands to reason that
man ought TO be able to all there is In II In
the same length Of time. All the world wasn't at
| the Centennial, but what there was OF II saw"
This weighty reasoning nus served to silence
Mr.. Pimpletons fellow boarders, who have la
bored under q disadvantage In the argument, be-
| cause none Of them visited the Philadelphia
| show. These unfortunate persons have been
obliged to listen to Mr.. Pimpletons oft-repeated
descriptions Of the Main Building, Of Machinery
| Hall, Of the Art Gallery and Of Agricultural
Hall, until they have grown even more tired Of
| the word centennial than Of Mrs. Fitzsim-
mons's hash. Indeed, while tho moBotony Of the
| latter is occasionally broken by a button, a
| shinee nall, OF an elongated hair, Mr.. Pimpie-
| tons ntennal discourse runs on continuously,
without the ripple Of a change.
| II 80 happened on Thursday last that one Of
Mrs. Fitzeimmons's particular friends was In
yited TO eat his Thanksgiving dinner at the
| boarding house. This friend was a very large
man, with twinkling blue eye, face ~ rosy as
| Zach Chambers nose, and a remarkably bald
| head. He was assigned seat at the table d.
| recuy opposite Mr. Pmpleton, and he had no
sooner received his one oyster In u dish Of broth
than Mr.. Pimpleton accosted him, a. he accoets
ali strangers, with the words:
| "Did you 20 to the Centcnnialf'
"Oh, yer spent two months there answered
| the friend 81 Mrs Ftzeiinmona. Great show,
| that great show"
III was a great show, indeed i" rejoined Mr..
PimTple,ton, II wen! to it. m,yselt" ,o .,r.noor
| "Im delighted tn hear II. air delighted To meet
| with man who went Ia the Centennial. | sup
pose you saw pretty much everything OF inter
"RverythIng, sir-everything,' answered Mr..
| Pimplotun, complacently.
suppose that you went into the Egyptian
|Yes, did, answered Mr. Pimpleton. 81 be-
slowed particular attention upon the Egyptian
Very interesting, wasn't it, What did you
| think Of the animated mummy
| THE animated mummy i really don't re-
well now, II was unfortunate that You should
| have missed seeing that. Nothing In the whole
Exhibition pleased me more. | used to st for
hours at time talking with him. You zee that
cient Egyptian language and could. therefore,
understand every word the animated mummy
ne @ ae9 seems years a ,ne year Vii nus
perceive that his present age II 4,ef years. Such
| n venerable man could not fail TO excite feelings
the account OF his death According 10 his own
statement, he was a person Of considerable po-
with him there was one John A. Dix, who was an
aspirant for the ONCE Of Superintendent Of the
| Pyramids, hut who did not receive the appoint
ment My friend the mummy was accidentally
| Killed by this Dix, while the latter was shooting
| enipe. The arrow intended for the bird pierced
| balmcd. He still preserves the head of the ar.
row really wish that YOU could have scen that
1 anil afasr mn
II really wish that could rejeined Mr.. PIN
peton, family.
| ~ sculpture In the Art Gallery continued thu
stranger, helping himself to the cranberry sauce
"%S " sn'i'sa The Sse Powers OF the prcsr ),
| Powers.
Mr.; Pimpleton could find no voice to reply
VERY sorry You didn't see i, SIR IT, The mos
the Young Editor in the centre. Dess
sSd ESss w sn ch lid p"e han%
the other. The central figure was represe nted
US holding pair Of scales. one side Of which
Of Jay Gould and a Stock Exchange telegraph
instrument; on the other side were placards IN
scribed The Leading American Newspaper,
coil Of bsrometrc curves, and numerous en-
velopes marked Vassar College The scale with
the schooner and Jay Gould weighed down III,
one containing the letters from Nasear. Deacon
Richard smith had one hand raised to HEAVIER
though pushing aside imaginary wicked part
ners George Washington Chllds, A. ", wa
seated at table his head resting upon his hand
and his whole attitude suggestive Of poetry
The ink-tand before hin was in the shape Of
coffin and, In place Of chair, he sat upon a.
, C., A. NJ, on the door. copy Of the Pubic
Ls.lgor prevented the sleeve Of his coat from he
coming solled. II was really grand artstlcalll
grand. MAY trouble you FOR the salt, slri"
Mr.. Pimpleton passed the salt, but said never
ANGER. Mere ' Working '"n"ui.SeIy. and m.
drumstick upon his plate remained unlisted
The other ooarders looked on In silent pity. bu
Mr.. Fitzsimmonss guest kept talking righ
alung.
chinery Hall called the Kellogg ballot boxf"
| Mr.. PimIlcton shook his head.
"That T. whore you missed II again. One o
, the most ingenious inventions OF the age. Tn,
exterior looks like any ballot box, but after th'
votes have once been Deposited you can opei
ever Side You please. They gave exhibition
~ the vey IN which II worked. and ! really neye
,sw any,nns e., 20 s.t%nishlas For example
and lU marked smith" Upon opening Tia,
box 1t would be found to contain 1000 ticket
for Smith. and say " for Jones. The agcn
| told me he had sold II large ndmber of thes,
boxes In Louisiana, South Carolina. and Florida
aud that he had strong recommendations from
> Kellogg, Chamberlain, and Stoughton. Pit,
you neglected 10 see that ballot box
, | ny this time the perspration had formed II
great beads upon Mr. pimpleton's brow, aud h
was beginning Ia push back his chair from tn
3 | table. when the bald headed stranger. who ha,
received his second allotment Of turkey an'
dressing resumed
2 " need hardly ask You whether you saw tn
= | Lightning Calculator. You surely couldn't hav
| failed toHotire him kcmble I think hir nam
, was william kemhe; Ne had blackboard
l right in the centre uf the Main Building, wher
Q he used to illustrate his wonderful theory uf al
, ditiou. division, and silence. He would first tab
| w IA collection from the spectators and mar
. the amount upou the blackboard. That repre-
. | scutrd addition. Then he would put hall Of IN
: | money into one pocket and half into the other
: chaliNng these sums also upon the black honrd
' That was division, YOU see. Then ne would eras
I the figures ON the board. and retire without say
M "a YtN "a H. lNe Hlln A. 1
Ana then the Turkish prophet 0
HIT Mr.. pimpletun could stand n no Longer
? | lie rushed from the room without waiting &
hear about the Turkish prophet. lie ir NOV
locking for new boarding house, where IN
J. landlady doer not invite bald-headed stranger
4 t. diuuer
Division Walls In Thentres.