The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-03-02
WHOLE NO. 1902.
Miscellaneous

when the spider lcfi the ark. did ho
walk or take fy1
During lcapycar every woman has an
ina'ienable right 10 make lore and tho
| Gro in tho morning
Why /. a selfish friend like tho letter
/ P7-Because. though he is the arat Ia
pity, he ia the last In help
At board Of trade meeting last week
member arose and gravcly observed
that he wished 10 make few eurseory
remarks on dams
A geologist says that ho never heard
Of secondary formation without pleasure
the ladies being the secondary forma-
tion, Tor they we're formed after the men.
A negro was scaldcd 10 death from a
boiler explosion in New Orleans last
week, and on his tombstone they chs
elled deeply, Sacred 10 the memory of
our steamed friend"
The New Orleans Times has a Rake
Department" its details are narrowing.
Il Chicago Inter.Occan.
Hoe, there now no mower of that
please.-Ncw York Commercial Advert
scr.
She asked him II her new dress wasn't
aa sweet a. a spring rose, aud tho brute
said Il was. even 10 the minor qualiica-
ton Of still having little due on a.
A New York temperance lecturer says
one Of the chief causes Of the present
financial depression IL alcoholic indul-
Fonec. The Boston Post asks Does he
mean 10 say that money l. "tightF'
An Indiana farmer don't pay any tolls.
He shoots the gate keeper. and joys right
along. They have tried him twice, but
ho gets clear. since one Of his aunta
cousins used 10 act "Aighty like"
"Is the captain Of your ship a religious
manY asked a city missionary Of Jack
tar. Yes replied the latter, 20 course
ho is-that is. when he amt drunk"
The Hon. Potiphar Peagreon. Of the
Georgia Legislature, rose in his seat the
other day and asked member the mean.
ing OF the word geology. The metiber
told him u was species Of vaccination.
"Call that kind mani said an actor,
speaking Of an acquaintancc, "A man
who is away from bis family and never
sends them farthingl Cali that Kind.
neasl Yes, unremitling kindness"
Jerrold replied.
Some careful and deer. thing student
has discovered that the word debt ia
composed Of the initials Of Dun every.
body twice" Credit IL formed Of the
initial letters Of call regularly every
day III trust"
A young printer having occasion the
other day 70 set up the well known line.
slave ] have set my life upon a cAat'
astonished the proof reader with the fol.
lowing version: slave. ! have set my
wife upon a cask."
An.artiA going the rounds Of the
press is entitled Tales from Bologna"
We haven't read Il. bat a. there Il
great deal Of mystery In Bologna We are
inclined TO the opinion that tales is
misprint for tails"
A bashful young clergyman, recently
rising 10 preach for the first time made
a terrible mix Of II. announcing his text
in this wise "And Immediately tho
cock wept, aud Peter went out aud crew
bitterly"
A Frcnchman who has lived In Amer.
ca for somo years says when they
build a railroad. tho first thing they do
is 10 break ground. This 10 done with
stockholders. This is done without GER
mony.."
Here is the soliloquy Of Partisan ine-
briate, addressed 20 his hat. which bad
fallen or II was overheard one night
In the Boulcvards III pick you up.
fall if ! fall. you viii not pick mo up
then ] leave you aud he staggered
proudly away
Willie was saying his usual prayer AZ
his mothers knee az bedtime. and hav-
iug got as far as "If should die before
wake" hcaitated We'll, what nextT'
asked his mother. why. mamma. I
suppose the next thing would be fune-
raj.
Phwnix deacon took his son 10
church, having heard hard stories about
him. bat while tho deacon prayed the
son persuaded two Of the young sisters 20
20 riding with him, and they went of
with the old mans horses. leaving Liln
70 find his way home on foot
A lady Of Rockville. Conn, received a
note the other day. asking II few fricrda
colld have a surprise party at her hose
house She said yes, and took up her
carpet and made ample preparations.
The evening came aud passed. with not
even a caller. That's where the surprise
camo In.
A country editor received the follow.
ing. Der sir have looked carefully
and patiently over your paper for ak
months for the death Of some individual
I was acquainted with, bat ~ yet not
single soul / care anything about had
dropped of you will please TO have my
namo erased"
A poor ny, who. lured forth by the Ia.
sidious siren like heat OF a rcd.hot stove.
had the misfortune yesterday 10 light on
the proboscis Of a rcd-nosed visitor with
soap and lead pencils 10 cell. got bis feet
singed 80 badly that he limped every
time he JIG.
The Danbury News thinks that "ono
Of the most pitiful sights la this life IL
the spectacle Of a man. who has been
married but three months, wearing cot
ton in his ears" The same man wearing
poker and broom handle monograms on
his head IL a much more pitiablo. a. well
As painful, spectacle.
Chicago genius has invented Sun
day evening parlor chair" intended 20
hold two persons, with some scrousinE
It cannot be intended a. a lovers chair.
for lovers manage 20 make one ordinary
chair answer the purpose, without COM
plaininF-without the lovers complain
ing, we mean.
d.. s--.-.-4 ~. = MI ....-