Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1876-02-04
NUMBER %.


nicely. | have nearly caught the rhymes
myself Say them over just once more,
and then I'll have them, sufe.''
4 / said them over Then Mr.. - said
them. He made one little mistake, which
corrected. The next time and the next
| he got them right. Now a great burden
seemed to tumble from my shoulders.
| That torturing jingle departed out of my
brain, and a grateful sense OF rest and
peace descended upon me. | was light
| hearted enough to sing; and did sing
| for half an hour, straight along, as we
went Jogging homeward Then my freed
tongue found blessed speech again, and
the pent talk of many weary hour began
TO gush and flow. 1t flowed on and on,
| ioyrusly, jubilantly, until the fountain
was empty and dry. AS / wrung ny
| friends hand at parting, | said:
Haven't we had royal good time?
| But now I remember, you haven't said a
word for two hours. Come, come, out
with something's a.f
The Rev Mr.. - turned lack-luster
| eye upon me, drew deep sigh, and said,
without animation, without apparent con
seriousness: .i't0a
punch, brothers, punch with care
Punch in the, presence of the passeniare!"
A pang shot through me as / said TO
| myself: Poor fellow, poor fellow! lie
mas got it now.'
| | did not see Mr.. - for two or three
| days after that Then, on Tuesday even
ing, he staggered into my presence and
sank deiectedly into seat. He was pale,
worn; he was wreck. He lifted his
faded eyes to my face and said:
"Ah, Mark, it was a ruinous invest
ment that | made in those heartless
rhymes. They have ridden me like
nightmare, day and night, hour after hour,
| to this very moment. Since | saw you
l have suffered the torments of the lost.
| Saturday evening | had a sudden call, by
telegraph, and took the night train for
Boston. The occasion was the death of
valued old friend who had requested that
| should preach his funeral sermon. |
took my seat in the cars and set myself to
framing the discourse. But | never got
beyond the opening paragraph, for then.
the train started and the car wheels began
their 'clack -clack- clack- clack !clack-clack-
.clack- clackp and right away those odiOus
rhymes fitted themselves to that accompa-
niment. For an hour l. sat there and set
syllable OF those rhymes to every sepa-
rate and distinct clack the car wheels
made. Why, | was as tagged out then,
as if [ had been chopping wood all day.
My skull was splitting with headache. 1t
seemed to me that / must go mad if sat
there any longer; so / undressed and went
to bed | stretched myself out on my
| berth, and-well, you know what the re-
| suit was. The thing went right along,
just the same. Clack-clack- clack, blue
trip slip, clack-clack -clack for an eight
cent fare; clack -clack -clack, buff trip
slip, clack- clack-clack, for six-cent fare,
and SO on, and so on, and so on--pmnch,
in the presence of the passenjare' Sleep?
Not a single wink! / was almost a
lunatic when got-to Boston Don't ask
me about the funeral, [ did the best /
could, but every solemn Individual SEN
tence was meshed and tangled and woven
in and out with Punch, brothers, punch
with care, punch in the presence of the
passenjare' And the most distressing
thing was that my deli0egy dropped into
the undulating rhythm of those pulsing
rhymes, and / could actually catch absent
minded people nodding time to the swing
of it with their stupid heads. And, Mark,
you may believe it or not, but before | got
through, the entire assemblage were pla-
cidly' bobbing their heads in solemn uni
son, mourners, undertakers and all. The
moment had finished, fled to the ante
room in state bordering on frenzy. Of
course it would be my luck to find sor-
rowing and aged maiden aunt of the de-
ceased there who had arrived from Spring
field too late to get into the church. She
began to sob, and said:
Cox Oh, oh, he is gone, he is gone, and |
didn't see him before he diedp
"f Yesp said, he IS gone, he as gone,
he as gone--oh, aoiU this suffering never
ceasen
Z" You loved him, then! Oh, you too
loved himn'
"s Loved him! Loved uho?'
why, my 'poor George! my poor
nephewP
a. Oh-Aymi Yes-oh yes, yes. Ger
tainly-certainly Punch - punch-oh,
this misery will kill met
81 So Bless you! bless you, sir, for these
sweet wordsla 1, too suffer in this dear
loss. Weregou present during his last
moments? p
. I" Yes! 'I-phose last moments?
HIS. The dear departed's.
:" Yes! Oh, yes-yes-yesi suppose
so, think So I don't know! Oh, GER
tainly--I was there was thereP
"'O Oh, what a privilege! what a pre-
cious privilege! And his last words
did he say?'
"' He said--he said-oh, my head, my
head my head he said-he said-he new
er said anything but Punch, punch, punch,
in the presence of the passenjarel oh, leave
me, madaml in the name of all that is
generous, leave me to my madness, my
misery, my despair!-a buff trip slip for a
six-cent fare, pink trip slip for three
cent fare-endu- rance Gun no further go!
PUNCH in the presence of the passcn-
iare!' !"
My friends hopeless eyes rested upon
mine a pregnant minute, and then he
said impressively:
g Mark, you do not say anything. You
do not offer me any hope. But, all, me,
it is just as well-it is just as well. You
could not do me any good. The time has
long gone by when words could comfort
me. Something tells me that my tongue
is doomed to wag forever to the jigger Of
that remorseless jingle. There-there it
is coming on me again--a blue trip slip
for an eight-cent fare, a buff trip slip for
a.
Thus murmuring faint and fainter, my
friend sank into a peaceful trance and for
got his sufferings in blessed respite.
How did finally save him from the
asylum | took him to nelghborlng
university and made him discharge the
burden of his prosecuting rhymes INTO the
eager ears of the poor, unthinking stu
dents. How is it with them now? The
result is too sad to tell. Why did / write
this article? 1t was for worthy, even
noble, purpose. 1t was to warn you,
reader, if you should come across those
merciless rhymes, to avoid them-avoid
them as Won would q DeStilence Marx