The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-04-08
How He Got Bounced"

As newly-engaged commercial traveller
was about starting upon drumming trip
from his place in Chicago, one day this week,
he suddenly turned to his employer, grave
old merchant, and inquired
III say, boss, wha: shall do if set ont
of soap"
save your samples, and then you won't get
out"
But mean what if should get out of
grease? ?" continued the young man.
"Greasc! grcase!" pondered the merchant;
"why, you don't need any grease-you're
not working for lubricating estab--"
ooh, but you don't understand me-" Chin
ed in the youthful employee, rather embar
raised; 81 mean what shall do if l run out
of 'spondulix -'stamps'-wealth"
"Spondul19 stamps? wealth :" echoed the
mystiied merchant, looking at the young tel
low over his glasses, to see If he had gone
crazy.
"Yes, currency-greenbacks, explained
the "cash-money-yo know :"
A light seemed to dawn upon the old mer-
chants mind at this moment, tor, gazing upon
the creature before him with look Of min
gled contempt and pity broke forth:
Young man, | rather guess you needn'
60 out for don't believe our class of Gus
TONERS could get along very well with you
they all speak English. Step up to the desk,
and the man there will settle with you"
And that is the way the Enlightened kid"
got "bounced"-all through the pernicious
habit Of singing slang. JonTno!.
No GRIT.
It was midnight The young man had
farewelled himself out, and Emeline had
locked the door and was untying her shoes,
when her mother came down stairs with
bedqullt around her, and said:
Wanted to creep up stairs without my
hearing you, eh? Didn't think knew 1t was
an hour after midnight, did you:"
The girl made no reply, and the mothe
continued:
"Dld he propose this times
"Why-mother! exclaimed the daughter,
you can, why mothcr" all you want to,
but don't know that he has been coming
here for the last year? Don't know you've
burned up at the least four tons of coal court
ing around here?'
The girl got her shoes off, and the mother
stood in the stair door and asked:
"Emeline, have you got any grit:"
II guess So"
II guess you haven't just wish that n
teller with false teeth and mole on his chin
would come sparkling me. Do Won know
what would happen. Eme!'ne:'
NO mother, what.
We'll, I'll tell you. He'd come 10 time
in sixty DAYS, or he'd get out OF this man.
sion like goat jumping for suntlower seeds"
Fmalinc went to bed to reflect oyer ii.
4 PYRAMID on THE JACK.-Somc darkies,
:; is said. started a faro bank somewhere IN
town shor, time since, on small scale.
Their funds were limited, and no one was
allowed to bet over ten cents at Il time. A
man from Alien county was in the city see
in.r what he could see, and in his rambles
came upon the dar!iy faro bank. He pulled
outa five dollar bill bought It's worth in chips,
and nut them on the jack. The dealer was
busy and at first did not see the big pile OF
chips, and commenced dealing. He all at
once locked up, saw Allen couniy's pile, and
inquired:
who's dat got dat peramid on dat jack =
Allen county, not knowing the rules oil Tie
game, very sternly remarked:
That's mine"
The dealer gazed at him for moment and
replied:
Pull her down from dar Pull her down
from dar You must uGk Roschiles am play
in dis game"
Allen county pulled her down from dar, :"
but we do not know whether he thought he
was in "R0schiles" presence or not.-Er.