The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1876-04-13
Offerings Of the season. Twenty cents
on the the dollar.

Nhoi III % u l'iO S0stoOIl. INeuty Genus
on the the dollar.
That rain of flesh in Kentucky was &
regular meateoric shower.
Ought to be allowed to sit down-A
merchant of forty years standing.
THE seeds of first instruction are
dropped into the deepest burrows.
SORROW turns the stars into mourners
and every wind of heaven into dirge.
Why is young lady like a bill of ex-
change? Because she ought to be set
tied when she arrives at maturity.
Every married woman IS personally
acquainted with man who will sit night
alongside OF a stove and let the fire go
out.
4 Mexican girl living at Tuscelo has
three developed arms. She can do up
her hair without crammiDg her mouth
full of hair-pins.
Bristow says the country is getting
short of currency, which is point in
which We resemble the country near
enough TO be twins.
Thirty Indian families, with their dogs,
trappings and paraphernalia, will en-
camp on the Centennial grounds, under
the direction Of Professor Baird.
An old Dutchman froze his nose.-
While thawing the frost out, he said, 81
haf carry dat nose forty years, unit he
never freeze hisself before. Ino under
stan dis ting"
A letter for ''Joseph Kzmigietski' is
awaiting its owner in the Danville (Pa. }
post office. The postmaster and his
family are meantime all going around
with their jaws done up in sings.
Life IS too brief to fool away, and
every man should improve the short time
he has to live by proving to the public
that if clothes pin is crowded too hard
on the line it will split in the back.
"What is editorial courtesy % asks a
Southern paper. Why, it is when a
Southern editor is caught stealing chick
ems at midnight and his brother editors
dindly allude to the matter as a 'sstrange
freak of somnambulist.' -
There is said to be bogus Dr.. Mary
Walker around. She can't deceive any
one, however. No other women in this
world can hitch up pair of pantaloons
in that graceful, careless way which is
second-nature TO the doctor.
There was q very little boy wading up
to his knees, almost, in the slush on
Summit street, Friday afternoon, when
a passing gentleman said to him ''Why
amt you to school, young man 2" Coos
I've got the hoopin' cough p he said.
A Preston man has been missing for
three days, and, as he was recently mar
ried, grave doubts exist as to whether
he is sitting round in hay-loft some
where meditating on the price of spring
bonnets or has merely drown himself.
A few years ago you could sit up and
talk philosophy with girl all night, but
now if you stay after one OF two O'Clock
on the morning the old people begin to
pound on the door up stairs for you to
go. We don't mind it ourselves, but
we can't help feeling for the girls.
"Well, Pat, said an indulgent master
to his coachman, who had just been de-
scribing the glories of ST. Patrick s
Day dinner, was your appetite sated ~
''Sated, is it, yer Honor? Sure an it
wasn't. It had to shtand up along wid
meself most of the time"
A boy was asked which was the great
est evil, hurting another's feelings or
finger. "The feelings" he said. ''Right,
my dear child,'' said the gratifed priest;
''and why is it worse TO hurt the feel
ings2" Because you can tie rag round
them" exclaimed the child.
An oyster-openeri in Toulouse, France,
found in all oyster magnificent pearl,
worth several thousand dollars, and she
pocketed it; but the person who ordered
the oysters insisted that the pearl be-
longed TO him. His contention is that
shells, juice, oyster and everything else
in the shell are his property; the knotty
question has been referred to the law
courts.
Mr.. WILLIAM BUSH, living at Monroe
City, Mo-, on the line of the Hannibal
and st. 10 railroad, has hog weighing
1 ,460 pounds. He is of the Poland
China breed, six years old, is perfectly
formed, and moves about on foot as cas-
lily as any fat hog could. Mr.. Bush ex-
poets to take him to Philadelphia dur
ing the centennial exhibition, where he
will no doubt co,nbine the character of
lion with the hog, as such an animal
must naturally attract great attention
anywhere.
Projecting THE JURY.-Some negroes