Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-08-25
Lieutenant Boyle's Duel.

sure enough, in staggered the round
shouldered, putty-faced giant. HI
had tufts of dry grass for beard s
large, fabby, pusillanimous nose
small, oblique eyes; and two hay
colored dabs of hair, one on eacl
temple, known to scientific explorers
of the New York Bowery as "soap
locks" He was eating peanuts OF
popcorn as he entered and, jerking
a char round, he threw himself into
it with contemptuous nod to tho
company, and ordered glass of tod
dy hot, in a voice of thunder.
Little Boyle sat quiet, watchful
observing, curious smile curving
his good-humored mouth while tho
other, half shutting his eyes, with an
air of lofty disdain, slowly slipped the
hot toddy.
ooh, pshaw " sneered our nasal
friend, in whisper to Boyle "you
darsn't tackle him. He'd make you
look womblescroft in a jiffy."
But Boyle, seeming not to heal
this impertinence, turned to us, saying
with lazy air, "I'm going to see il
there is any grit in him. and, ap-
preaching the chair upon which
Colonel George Washington Kosci
usko, ETC., reclined, he perched him
self on the edge of table near, and
said, pleasantly" "Good evening, Sir. .
"Who are you, Sir ?" returned the
other, with viperish look out of his
slant eyes.
"rm a gentleman, and my name is
Junius Brutus Boyle"
"And my name is George Wash
lngton Kosciusko Peter Bonaparte
Solomon Job Slimcum, and you'd
better mind what you're about"
81 will, thank you. l understand
that you are pretty considerable of a
fellow"
"Sir, you air ruther free an easy
sort of cuss; ruther too forrard."
eyes, oh yes. I might be as stiff
as the north pole, or as distant as two
mile stones; but then, you know, the
other is my acay."
"Wa'al, Sir, l don't like your way
"No? How queer! Well, ! won't
be dlsobliging, and give you per
mission to lump it, then"
"Sir, you air-you air sassy
You'd better govern them propcnsi-
tudes of yourn."
"Just so. You have a propeasi-
ta0e, l understand, to consider your
self great man?''
"Sir, you air imperdent-"
"Take care, Sir" shouted Boyle.
al won't stand any insult"
"Sho! What'll you do?"
"Do? I'll fight you; Pll blow you
to the other end of nowhere"
clio! ho! Kin you fight?" sncer-
ed the giant, now on his feet, rocking
back and forth, his gaunt, bony hands
opening and shutting as if they were
in contact with an electrical battery.
cha! no! you'd better be keerful,
you had. | kin cut cent in half, l
kim"
"Ha! ho!" laughed Boyle, imitat-
ing the bully. "I'm sufferin' turrible
to see you do it. I'd ruther have a
shot than a sugar-plum from such a
fire-eater as you"
Wa'al, Sir, I've got a material tack
with firearms; l kin fight with any
thin from a cambria needle to a AZ
pounder," and he thumped the table,
upsetting the glasses, and glared down
on Boyle, sure that he had " frustra-
ted him, l bet, and no mistake nuth-
cr," as our nasal friend observed
under his breath.
But he lost his bet, for, bold as
Mars or Baron Munchausen, Boyle
Immediately exclaimed, Jingo!-
you don't say so! thought you had
about as much real courage as one
could put in a homeopathic pill
Come out, now, my fine cock-of-the-
walk, and give us touch of your
qualityw
"Wa'al! Lawful sakes!" ejacula-
ted the colonel;" "you can't fight at
night! What an hyastical idee!"
"Oh. yes, you can. Nonsense. I'll
manage it. Well take two lanterns,
stand back to back, then each walk
away twenty PAGES, wheel round and
fire."
"Darned if I do! Amt goin' to
be ding-donged into stan'in up like a
consumed fool in dark night. You
jess wait till to-morrer.
Cor the tifty-third week Of this
year. No, Sir" thundered Boyle,
stamping his foot, which, like Moth
er Carey's chickens, was the sure pre-
cursor of a storm,-no, Sir! You
shall fight moac! I should never have
taken the slightest notice of you if l
had not been told of your cowardly
bullying of women and little chill
dren. Don't stand incoming there!
In one minute more / shall box your
large ears, and then flap you over the
head with this horsewhip;" and he
seized one standing in the corner.
The world did not appear to go
upon double, ,jointed casters just then
to George Washington Kosciusko,
and the rest. His little angry eyes
went blinking round the room, he
teetere0 up and down upon his heels
and toes, he moistened his dry lips
with his tongue, and his hands work
ed more nervously than ever, as he
detected a look Of scornful, halfsur-
prised derision on the faces of some
of the Jerseymcn. But glance at
his challengcr's determined visagc
showed him that there was no deliv-
crance to be hoped for, and he shuf-
fled out of the room, followed by
Boyd and the rest of us, who did not
mean to lose sight of him. We OBJ
tanned two old muskets, and we'll
knowing that our man would take
sure aim and fire, whatever the other
did, we loaded them only with pow
der, communicating this little ruse to
no one, for Boyle would have fought
us all in turn if he had discovered it.
Out we went into the dark and
lonely road. In solemn silence we
placed the combatants back to back,
George Washington ETC., heaving
ponderous, frightened sighs enough
fo boyo Irivor q Gloon from ;4c moor