The daily gazette. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1874-1883, 1876-10-09
Not Simply For Love.
BY MAX ADELER.

His name was Biles. He dropped in
to see Doctor Cox, and after few re-
marks about the weather and the conoi-
ton of trade, he said:
"Doctor, doyou think you could get me
up wart for my nose?"
'.Why really, Mr.. Biles, that is such an
odd question that /"
"What want is large pink wart,
about the size of marrow fat pea, and
growing out of the right side of my nose a
little above the edge. Do you ever grow
them for customers ?"
81 can hardly say that l do. Most peo-
pie want to get rid of such things instead
of encouraging them. What on earth do
you want wait on your nose for?''
"Well it's kind of secret. You havn't
got brick anywhere's about the office,
handy, have you?"
81 might find one in the yard maybe"
"Well, what'llyou charge me for taking
the butt end of it and knocking out four
of my front teeth ?"
| '.Mr. Biles, this is the most extraordi-
nary conversation | ever listened to.
| What do you meanW
| 81 want 'em busted right out, and ifyou
could give me some medicine that'd cock
| llly ltlb eye IL ilJJlc W Ollt olut Ott u uO
me personal favor"
'I'd like to understand what your object
is, first"
81 don't care much about letting any
body into the secret, but if you'll promise
not to give me away on it I'll tell you.
You know the Widow Magee Well, I've
been sort of spoony with her for some
time, and when l proposed to her she
fought me of, and wouldn't tell me
why. At last she said that she had made
up her mind never to marry any man who
was totally unlike Magee-her first. So
l gradually drew out Of her that old Magee
sported wart on his nose, and that one
of his eyes had got kind of twisted around
Ii ying to look at it. And he had his front
teeth somewhat knocked out by bull
trying to boost him over fence. Now
what want is to get myself decorated up
1just like he was, and ifyou accommodate
me you will confer favor.
"Pll tell you. though, there's one
thing that I'm worrying myself most
to death about Old Magee fought in
the wars, and got chopped up good
deal, and he used to wear a cork leg.
Now, I've notion that the widow has
been limiting around for me to get a
Icork leg like his, and while hate like
thunder to disappoint her, I've pretty
Imuch come to the conclusion that if
she makes stand on that store leg I'll
lgive her up if it breaks my heart |
don't mind disfguring my face little,
but man Is always kind of scary about
} having his legs sawed off,"
"You must love Mr.. Magee very
much to make such sacrifices for her. "
"Well, betwixt ourselves-in solemn
confidence, mind you-it isn't that
like the widow 30 much on her own
: account; but to tell you the truth fail
and square, the old man left her the
blamedest lot of farms, and bonds, and
houses, and other property you evel
saw; and if 1 can rake that in by
humoring her about those little physi-
cal defects why I'm going to do it.
What's q wait to richness like that? ]
pledge you my word that if yon turn
nae loose among that property, you can
cover my nose so thick with warts that
it looks like a cauliflower, and I'll
lnever growl particle, Now can you
fix me up around the countenance SC
as to suit the widowf"
"I'm afraid not, Mr.. Biles."
| Oh, very well, then. If it can't be
done, it can't. 1 reckon the best way
anyhow is to get some good artist to
fresco a wart on the nose, and to cover
lup the teeth with black court plaster
SOS it'll looks If they were out. Then
when we're married I'll put them right
again, and the widow may how ill ii
she's a mind to-"
| And MIR. Biles left to hunt up re-
liable ornamental painter.