The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-08-08

Men who are hard up want to be let
a-loan.
At the Eden trading-post the devil
was subtler.-BostenP Post.
Soft hearts often harden, but son
heads never change.
The man who had project on foot
went to corn doctor.
According to the latest definition, a
bachelor is man who has lost the op-
portunity OF making q woman misera-
bic.
Jacob Munnenmacher, convicted Of
fraud on the revenue at Milwaukee, whom
the Presidens recently pardored, was re-
leased from prison to day on paying his
6ne, SIC, 900, and costs of trial.
Are there, in the Senate or the Fl ouse,
any leading Republicans opposed to
Grantism.: If so, why do they keep so
quiet about it, and even about its most
outrageous manifestations
Florida alligators are getting so dainty
about what they eat that when a bald
headed Northerner falls overheard tue
reptiles sniff around him and wait a long
time before taking him in out Of poll.
tics.-Detroit Free Press.
At young ladies' seminary, during
an examination in history, one of the
most promising pupils was interrogated ::
"Mary, did Marin Luther die Datural
death 2" "No," was the reply, she was
excommunicated by bull"
A gentleman was examining an um-
brelIa. and commenting on its fine quail
ity. "Yes," said person present, she
fancies every thing he Sees" "And,'
added q third party, sis inclined to seize
every thing be fancies
John P. Adams, a farmer west OF
Glasgow, near Winchester. recently cut,
thrashed and had some wheat ground at
mill three miles away, and was at
home in time to have biscuits from the
-four, all in the same afternoon.
A Cape May lady venturing into deep
water failed to keep her mouth shut
when big breaker came alcng. The
result was that sue shipped heavy sea
and was drowned Moral: Women
should always keep their mouths shut
The observing Detroiter can see .
disposition on the part Of the public to
return to the simplicity of our grandfa.
TIERS days Hired girls have been no.
ticed trying to use an old-fashioned
coffee mill as lawn mower.-Detroit
Free Pres&
sIs it not time that you paid me that
Eve dollars p said the farmer to his
neighbor.. ..'Taint DUE" was the reply,
"But," said the farmer, "you promised
TO pay when you got back from New
York" .Well, l hain't been there
was the reply.
"Say, country, have you got.any hay
seed in your hair p cried q city chap,
vino was walking with his companions
down West street, just Behind farmer
''Wasl, guess there's lots of it there,
seen how the calves run arter me-" was
the satisfactory answer.
"You are the duliest hoy ] ever saw r
GROSSLY exclaimed bald d.headed old un-
Gle to his nephew "Wcll, UNCLE" re
piled the youth, you can't expect me
to understand things as qnick as you do.
because you don't have the trouble Of
getting 'ein through your hair"
It is on noble platform Of princi-
~,ln hat n lnf~ ftxo
people, beside which the one erected at
Cincinnati is rubbish and hollow gener.
alities No one has shown it more i'm
pressivelv than has Mr.. Goodwin in his
admirable letter er-Boston Post Dem
An Irishmaa in Iowa vas bitten By 6
rattlesnake, but the liberal use of neigh
bor's whisky cured him. The next day
he was seen walking slowl on the prai
Iie, and looking earnestly for something
He was asked what he was looking for
"For the bite OF snake" was the reply
Perhaps there is nothing in this worlc
that makes a man so mad as 10 post
when he sees that a landscape photo
graph is to be taken, and when it /,
printed, discovers that he appears no
like Washington or Napoleon, but like
dilapilaied pinlesd, with Lis right boo
on bis left shoulder.
"Why." said Mr Dorkins TO his wife
why, if sll the letters of the alphabe
we're to run race, and you should be
on 0 and lose, would it he like the re
turn Of your servant with 'Cavcndish tc
bacco when you had sert for Lone
Jack ?" "Sakes alive, l don't know
Because" said Mr. Dorkins trum
phantly, ''it would be wrong tobacco"
Dean Stanley was not equal to his op
portunities:.in conducting the marriage
ceremony of Prof Tyndall. The Dean
might have asked the bride if she would
take that anthropoid TO be her co-ordi
nate, TO love with her nerve centers and
TO cherish with her whole cellular tissue
until final molecular disturbance shoul.l
v..nlvo shis oroanism IN ito primitive