The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-01-27
rHEADVEKFIsEMEEr ANswEREn
BY FRANK NJ, THoRE

4 ID At AA2OA-A-
Good morIin' til yez, yer honor And ar
yez the gintlemon
As advertised, in the paper, fur an active
Iltinigint b'y9
Y'are Thin I've brought him along wid
me,-a raal, fine spring iv a wan -
As likely by iy his age, sur, as liver ye't
wish I'll empty.
That's him. Av coorse I'm his m0the.
Yez can see his resemblance til me,
Fur livery wan iv his faytures. and mine
are alike as two paze,-
Barrin' wan iv his hlvenly eyes, which n
lost in a bit iv a spree
Wild Hooligans by, which Intinded to lar.
rup me Teddy wild aize;
And his taythe, which hung olt on his lip,
like pair iy big, shInin', twin pearls,
Till wan iY thin taythe was removed by the
fut iv q COW he was tain
And his hair, that we niver end comb,
along iv bewhilderin' eurIs,
So we kape 1t eropp'd short to save combin',
and that makes our Intercourse plazin.
And is 1t rid-headed. ye call h;mg Belize
he s foxy, is Ted
And goold-coloFed hair IS becomIn' til thin
that's completed wild blonde
Bat who cares fur color? Sure, contints
out-Yally the rest iV the head
And Ted has head fell iv contints, IS
lively as t'hrout in psnd
Good timpered? Sure nIger e best'her.-
The paceablest, quistest, lamb
AS lives the whole lin'th iv our st'hrate,
where the b'ys is that kane fur a row
That Ted has to tight iy'ry day, though he'd
quarrel no more than clam.-
Faith, thin b'ys 'ud provoke the sEate
angels, in hiYen, 10 fight onyhow!
Thin Hooligan b'ys is that d'hirty, they
have to be washed wanst a wake =
Faith, Hooligan finds 1t convanient to 1--we
down feminist the canal
Where the wst'her for ScrubbIn the mud off
his child'hers is not far til sake
Bat Teddy is aIIus that nate he nIvor nades
washin' at all
Can he rade? Sure. me Ted has the maxim
iv a beautiful raider, indade,
And laIrnt all his lett'hers, but twInty, IN
three months attindauce at school;
But the mast'her got mad at m Teddy, be.
case iv joke that was played
Wild a pin, that persuaded the maSt'her
quite suddn 20 rise from his stool.
Teddy niyer sud plazs that school-mast'her
wild ony iv thin playful t'hricks;
So, wild his edIcation unfinished, Ted found
it conVanlent TO lave.
But, barrln' the learning, I'll match him,
fur kaneness, feminist ony six,
In butt'herin papls wild blaTney and playin'
nate s'hricks to desave.
fist skins 'em alive:
Wild their marbles, and paynuts and PEN
MES, iv'ry wan iY his pockets he'd fill
By the turn iv his wrist, ur such tactics as
Teddy knows how til cont'hrive =
They'd gladly t'hrade Off their book.larnin
fur Teddy's suparior skill!
Politeness comes aisy til Ted, fur he's had
me TO tache him the th-ick
IV bowin' and scrapin' and spakIn' te show
paple proper respict.
spake up til the gintIemon, Teddy Whist /.
All wild yer cap first, ye stick
He's shapish at'hriae, yer honor; he's allus
been brought up that strict.
OOiAS8 opAhe up anu SHOW yer lOiAe
bradin
Och Hear that! SHOW are yez, Ovid
Moke ?"
Arrah, militia murther Did liver yez hear
jist the aqual iv that ?
"How are yez, Ovid Moke ?" says he! Ha
Ha Sure, yer honor, he names it in
joke
Hes the playfulIest by! Faith, it's laugh
in at Teddy that makes me so fat!
Honest Troth, he is that He's that hon
est, he was niver tux by the perlace,
Barrin' wanst that Ovid Hooligan swore
that Teddy had stole his b'y's knife
Wild dlvil blade. And the jIdge he re-
marked, wild contimpt, twas the
t'hriflinest case
To bod'hera dignifed Coort wid, he liver
had known in his life!
Yez can Thrust him wild onythIng. Honest!
Does he LUX like a by that 'ud stale
Jist LUX in the swate, open face iv him,
barrin' the eye wild the wink
Och Teddyi! Phat ugly black st'hrame is
1t runnih' down there by yer hale! .
Murtheration! Yer honor, me Teddy has
split yer nne bottle iv Ink :!
Phat9 How KEN the ink in his pocket ?
I'm thinkin' he borry'd it, SUR
And yez saw him pick up yer pen-kowIder
and stick 1t inside iv his Slave!
And yez think t,;at Ted mint til purline
'em!! All, wirral The likes iv that
slur
Willd'hrive me,-poor, t;nder, 10 4e wildly,
wild sorrow down iHtIl me grave!
Bad cess till yez. Teddy, ye spalpeenl Why
eu'dn't yez how'd on, the day
Ye thafe iv the world !-Widout breakin' the
heart iv me? No. Yez nlIsf stale
I'll taehe yez t'hrick, ye rid-hesC Sd, pi!
ferin', gimlet-eyed hay?-
Ye freekle-faced, impident bla' guard ;
Och! whin we git home yez III squale
-STibHeT for February.