Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-07-07
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
Hoe your own row.

FIGHT your own battle.
THE first step is the longest one.
GREEN peaches are beginning to ravage
the country.
NEVER let any man have it to say, "I
haYe.dragged you up"
= { easier to get rid of weeds to-day
tittn It will be tomorrow.
A HYsTERIcAL woman asked at the drug
store for hypo"- "-sulphates.
A LOUISVILLE poet alludes to the "pa-
tient grandeur of a tow-path mule"
THE good Samaritan stopped at the
sound of woe; so does good horse.
MEN who have made their fortunes are
not those who had $4,000 given them to
start with.
UNTIL. all men master the art of living
without working there will be complaints
of hard times.
MARK TWAIN says at is a blessed
thing to live in a land of plenty, if you
have plenty of land"
THE National employment-running
around after regulation ball, with the
thermometer at 950 in the shade.
A COMMON rat has $50 bones under his
hide. If he hadn't over 140 he might be
hit with club occasionally.
How melancholy the moon must feel
when it has enjoyed the fullness of pros
perity, and gets reduced to its last quar-
ter.
THE Indian bead-work sold at Niagara
Falls is little cheaper this year. They
have discovered how to make beads of
wax.
AN absent-minded editor, having de-
manded a young lady's hand from her
father, was asked what he would give her,
and replied I'm give her good puff"
He got her.
How MINISTER'S are killed." is the cap
ton of an article circulating through the
papers. You may not have one to kill,
but it is well to know how it is DONE
Reading (Pa.) ReUieW.
The Danbury Ne,0s has discovered that
tarring the bed of river will keep boys
from going in swimming. They go in
once, but the rest of the summer is used
up in scraping the tar off their heels.
A LADY asked a lawyer what was the
difference between solicitor and an at
torney?" 81 give it up" says he.
/" Precisely the same" she answered, las
between a crocodile and an alligator"
A TRENTON editor makes the statement
for the good Of correspondents, that they
need not commence their communications,
81 take my pen in hand" as he don't
care whether they write with their toes or
with the pen in their mouth, so they send
the news.
THE Atlanta (Ga) Times says that there
are, perhaps, a larger number of self
made men in Atlanta than in any other
city in the State-men who, by indomita-
BILE energy, have risen from poverty to
wealth; men who started life with only
strong hands and stout hearts, and have
mastered fortunes.
WHILE the English excursionists were
on the Capitol square in Richmond, Va,
the other day, fine looking Englishman
| pointed to a squirrel some distance off, and
| inquired of a citizen, "Can you tell me,
sir, what 'hinscct that is hover there ~
| Citizen: That's a squirrel, sir" Johp
Bull: "Oh, ah! Thanks"
SOME mistaken genius has invented a
pocket photograph apparatus. You meet
a woman who pleases you, you draw out
your machine, and before she has time to
be astonished you have her likeness bt
your pocket. A man operating with such
an apparatus is warranted to have an eye
poked out with parasol several times a
day.
"SEcoND class in grammar, stand up"
said the schoolmaster. "John is a bad
boy Who does John correspond with 2"
II know" said the little boy at the foot,
holding up his hand. IF you mean John
Smithers, he corresponds with my sister
Susan; here's letter he just GIN me to
carry home to her."-N. Y. Commercial
AdUerttSer.
AN old gentleman of eighty -four hav-
fng taken to the altar young damsel of
Ebout sixteen, the clergyman said to him
The font is at the other end of the
church" "What do l want with the
font?" said the old gentleman "Ohl |
beg your pardon" said the clerical wit,
" | thought you had brought this child to
be christened."
THE latest discovery in relation to
"bodies" is process of petrifying them,
and thereby rendering not only burial but
cremation unnecessary. The discovery is
claimed for an "eminent chemist
not given-and it is stated that the process
converts the worn-out frame into sub
stance undistinguishable from ivory, which
the inventor calls "ivorine."
IT is very seldom that bank reaps any
profits from "run," but the Dry Dock
Savings Bank of Albany seems to be an
exception. Frightened by the closing OF
another bank in the city, the deposition;
have been Withdrawing their funds from
the institution first named as rapidly
as they could and as their Interest
does not accrue until July they forfeit
it. The bank will make several thousand
dollars by the operation.
THE New York Mail despairs Of Stab
fishing work. house for vagrants WHERE
real work will be got out of them and ad
vocates the restoration of the whipping
post, of which it says; Z" 1t was regular
! iRstitution here under the Dutch, and it
, 1cacy is we'll attested. Not many of thu
} lbusand loafers now prowlingkthe street,
Kould risk a second introduction to thu
Bat-o' nine tails. There is pre-raphael
ite realism about a public flogging tina
would disgust the entire crowd"
THE other day lady had a hat sen
home from milliner's and put it ON L
take drive. On her return she was yer,
much surprised, and not little alarmed
TO find painful, and by no means orna
mental eruption covering her forehead
AS her hat was well forward ii occurred
to her that that might have connection
! with the cutaneous difficulty, and SO she
I had the lining stuff analyzed by chem
ist. The dye.stuff was found to be ver,
poisonous. Ladies should be careful
when they buy hats poisonously lined q
! wear them well on the back of the head
l Berlin Cor, Millinery Trade RSvioO