The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-12-22

patton into which her boarders hat
plunged, peacefully slept and sweetil
dreamed the buxom little widow wn'
presided over the house. Buxom sn'
was, indeed, and 80 decidedly handsome
that it were beyond the pale q reason !! !,
believe she would long remain IN VIZ
ow's weeds. So cheerful, 30 sprisnSSS'
so very fascinating was she, that po
ers fiocked to her little estapiisn !. >
quite contented, II they could reoe ,,r. ~
more substantial nouriJhment, 20 sa az
on the smiles and sweet wordS VI 'ne
Widow Lamar. ,-..a ;
The festive gentlemen already INTRO
duced. Jack Rogers and BOD Garter,
printer and sewing machine agent, re-
snectivelv. were both widow-struck.
Tbev sat at her table daily, quaffing in
s;n;3 coffee and devouring doubtful
hash but superlatively happy while
hasL;no in the light of her Respondent
eves and the sunshine of her smiles.
Each of them really had designs on the
Widows heart and home, and each an
t;cinated the time when he should hap
pily possess the plump little lady with
ali her charms, and reign as lord and
master of the boarding-ho house.
Rogers was quite gentleman, who
worshiped his inamorata in silence. He
was possessed of numerous manly at
fractions, such as superb form, pierre
ing eye, anda luxuriantly flowing beard,
but, as if to mock the advantages already
bestowed upon him, nature had been
rather extravagant in the construction of
his nose. This nose, which performs an
important part in our story, is probably
worthy OF detailed description, but the
briefness of our narrative precludes any
thing more than the observation that it
was remarkably prominent nose, of the
Roman persuasion, which was peculiarly
adapted to pulling, blowing, and snuff
taking. Be that as it may, the widow
had been heard to remark that it was a
well disposed nose, indicative of intelli-
gence and pleasant disposition, upon
which hint, fragile as it may seem to
You. Jack founded his hopes.
Bob Carter, the garrulous sewing ma
chine man, was dapper little fellow,
confident, conceited, and effeminately
pretty. He attacked the widows affec-
tons in dashing way, which, after all,
Is the proper mode of attack, and was
ready to swear that he could have her
hand at the asking, any time. So fully
assured was he of this, in his own mind,
that he did not regard anybody else In
the light of a competitor at all, and
therefore he was on the kindest terms
with poor, easy Jack, who, despite his
have eaten the little agent up, in his
jealousy.
AS to the willy widow, she encouraged
them both; but, sly coquette that she
was, she encouraged everybody, and it
would have taken a smarter man than
Jack to know just where, if anywhere,
her affections were placed. Yesterday
his own hopes scared buoyant as toy
balloon, but to-day they fell as fiat as
that same balloon when it collapses In
mid-air; and thus his spirits arose and
descended like the mercury of Their
mometer in our tickle climate, just as
they were thawed or frozen by the smiles
or frowns of the Lamar.
Upon this Christmas eve his spirits
were down, away down below zero, and
Jack was disconsolate, so that when the
flowing bowl presented itself as the
nepenthe for his troubled soul, he read
lily accepted it. Bob, the egotist, joined
in his carousal from reasons entirely
different. His heart was bounding with
the hope of speedy success "and to-
morrow" he said to Jack, in his great
pomposity, the widow shall know her
fate. 1 will present myself to her as
Christmas gift" Alas, so little did he
know, 80 little do any of us know what
the morrow or the whims of tickle
widow may bring about. Jack cursed
the fate which had not provided him
with the "gift of gab," and those other
advantages which sewing machine agent
mortals, and he laid the blame of his
discontinue all upon his unfortunate
nasal appendage. eff it weren't for my
Internal nose," he soliloquized, 81
should WOO the widow and win her."
But the fumes of the egg-nog permeated
his brain and softened all his harsher
thoughts, 80 that, when he found his
room and orept between the cold, white
sheets of his bachelor bed, it was with
milder feelings toward all the world, not
even emitting his poor, despised nose.
Such Lethe, dear friends, is egg-nog,
into which we may plunge with our sor-
rows, our dreary forebodinGs and our
petty hates, and forget them one and
all.
The bells that rang out 80 loudly, 80
clearly, so merri1y on the Christmas
morning, awakened Bob Carter from his
heavy slumber, and babe him arise from
his couch, array himself in his best at
tire and proceed to the conquest. He
rubbed his eyes and listened to the
mighty clamor of the many bells, and
they were more than Christmas bells to
him. They were bells of victory, ring
ing out to the world the happy ii iings
that Bob Carter had gained the
lovely widow and assumed control of
the boarding house. No more adjusting
of sewing machines for him. Here was
an end to bobbins, and shuttles, and |
broken threads, and dull needles, and |
lost stitches, forever. Never again should |
he hem, or fell, or braid, or cord, or
quicker, or tuck. He had removed his
foot from the treadle, he had detached
the belt for all time, and henceforth
some less fortunate individual could run
the machine.
This is the propitious day, and 1
hear victory in the air." he exclaimed,
springing to the floor. and straightway