Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1876-03-18
WHERE THE FUN CANEEy
a Legal Joke shat AN East IcnneS~ea
LAWYER PSnSen

From the GdrksUaUe T6bacco I,snfl
It vas period somewhat prior 10 Ire Ia "a
Legislature, when dogs fiouTisbat a., ~
laws were not. The place a countrv saat ~,
mountain county of east T.nuessee The
cou . vas =. craving IN a close, and there was
quart at least or native mirth IN the iudys
when be directed the clerk tn call the e,ss -,
sim mons W.. BrOwnr1gg -repievin anna a
nom MAG sirates court Browprieg was
Vp'hing Tor Simmons. with several nIharS
and each of he workmen laid claim TO ono
apt &c o. remarkably fine litter of ms
VIM tnoWnIigs leh he carried of piece of
rope W Tn Ms pap firmly att4cie 10 the q a
III Henre levin by simmons. ana.
htiary to All rlg6t. judgment for defsn
dar t. and al peal by plaintiff.
The Judge nndihg the Defendant MT rapr,
senled by con- sci, sppaintei Col. H.. lat
, A, ODE of the ies1iug lawyers as one
o. ne leadlng young men in east Tennessee,
To cefend of course it was pl.in to MIN
where the right of property, or H. he plai"-
tie JUS tTopr'std'iS lay. aud equally clear
Cat the bar, court a d crowd we're In for
s s,aid q q ,rb w,S lmransiei, aud every
s'sln cli zen. GRANGER, clergy man, Uor' Or r
WhatnOt waS called in a asked All SORTS
OF impossible questions covcernfng dogs
anu niOch valuable Information was elected
apout ours Spaniels settlers pointers, WALLER
uogs, Old brindles, cO.sn and prssun dogs
Inc opposing counsel hel4bOred the wit
nesSes' ard appealed 10 the court and be
mnduled the jury, as they drew from each
witness one statement after another con
cefhlhg The points OF p good dog and then
discussed 1t pro and con, and then on ooe
f FL or the Other, got the court to exclude All
the evidence In, aud began with the ygItnass
dc noNo. The medical profession had pre-
sehled The anatomy of the dog. the cIersy
mao given his theological aspects, the Judge
mao gwen several learned opinions and the
counsel bad sOnndly belabore1 each otbe-
aud reminded the court IF m 4ena cbarta and
the wit OF habeas corpus, the palladium of
Anglo Saxon liberty.
The court was in ton ton good I'm ,oor ti,a
crowd was jolly, and the case Grawiug 10 a
cInse when Major O., gallant officeTfn the
iate unPleasantess on the part of the party
IN blue entered the court house He snufT,st
run 10 moment 1t was not his custom tn
regard fun as possessed of the real salt of
iuh unless he was consulted. He enteret as
II ne Knew IL was sure TO be failure. Col
n. eSpled him and at once said, "Come in
and help me" "
oh; no." he replied, az don't know the
facts, have just come In"
mo difference give YOU all the facts in q
minute" said Colonel H., and proceeiet 10
relate moving tale of a irst rate spotted
hound pup swapped by the defendant for a
Jackass warranted a sure iackass for All the
purposes Implied in the name and bOpt
paid The jackasS, after having been used
up ana down the mountains for every pur-
pose 10 which a jackass could be appitet
proved total and ignominfous failure. n
bankrupt and utterly insolvent jacKass All
liabilities and no assets. Colonel @. at once
went INTO the case, and, after learned and
humorous dlsquisition on dogs. and an able
presentation OF the dog side of the case with
he said F'
"And row, gentlemen, L come to the Jack
ass"
There was a glance of establishment and
an outburSt as he pictured the defendant
Win wife and children dependent upol the
energy with which he exercised the Industry
Of standing that iackaSs in the community
ara Inc enterprise with which he had dis
played that jackass in every green vale on
every blue mountain peak, or bleak hillside
or fertile plain or valley; how he had with
persistent energy Introduced that iackass to
the entiTe community, at $40 TO insure and
nad 10 expend his small patrimony in meet
Ing The liabilities arising from the disastrous
oWnershlp OF that worthless animal. bring
1ng wife, mother-in-law and nineteen small
children 10 poverty and starvation. and
driving him to the states most gracious writ
o! repleyin TO recover the valuable hound
pup.
When he broachsd the jackass the corr
pricked up its ears, the jury SMILED au,tfbly
and the crowd roared The attorney rose
with the occasion ahd Swelled with the me-
rlment OF the crowd. He knew he was get.
ting of good thing, from the trcmead rus
effect on the convulsed crowd court i.Iry
and bar. He was stimulated u 10 ter
nights, until the court, catching it's breath
nnalIy r0ared through the diu:
MT. u, the court never heard OF arv
JacR Ass In the case until you got mp 20 speak,
AS they rode toward Knoxville that even
ing, Maj Il. was silent for several miles FL
nal lily he rode by the side OF Col H, aud sad
TO him solemnly and impreSsivelv, az viii
make an earnest effort not to kill You IL Won
Knoxville