Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-12-21
BrO0mStick Law.

THE morning train on the Ohio &
Mississippi Road was whirling along TO
its destination, st. Louis, when Con-
ductor Maffit was seized by the button
hole and pair of "innocentS abroad
sought for information. "'sE
You see, mister, me and Andrew is
a-going down to East St. Louis on bust
ness. It's particular, and we'd liketo
know if you can tell us if there is
Squire living handy to where we get off.
The truth is, mister, me and Andrew is
going down to get hitched. If you can
tell US about Squire down there it
might save time. I've come away and
left the ironing, and Andrew ought to
churn to-day-fOr there amt a speck of
butter in the house"
The conductor assured them that they
would have no difficulty in finding a
Squire; also that this magistrate, when
found, would end their troubles in no
time.
She laughed at the conductors encour-
agement. FL. ..f,zr-..,-.r
"That is just the man we're looking
for, amt it, Andrew" @9UH'5Ec2
s'pose So" was his hesitating reply.
His answer was not what she expected.
ooh, you only s'pose so, do your Then
you can s'pose so alone" ..r .xf
She bounced over into another seat, and
commenced to study the beauties of the
lakes and marshes along the American
bottom. That brought him to terms.
Mary Jane, come back here, | want
to tell you something" -gF fsgiW
She looked at him scornfully; then re-
Tented, and came back.
This here train o. cars is goin' awful
fast, amt it?'' ..5,-:.
"Yes, s'pose so. But what was you
going to tell me?'' ..E E. civ
If we keep on going so fast, in lessn
an hour We'll be there. Don't it make
you feel Uneasy, Mary Jane ?" ,-hasEt
No, it don't If you want a goose,
Andrew, you wouldn't mind 1t either.
Everybody gifts married some time or
other. 1t amt no worse for us than it is
for other folks. Hain't you got nothing
but that to tell me?''
He thought 1t over moment but
didn't remember anything else, She
pouted, and was about to return to her
seat bv the window again. He caught her
hand, and she was willing to be caught
and remain. al ,
When the train arrived at East St.
Louis, Andrew and his Mary Jane went
at once in quest of Squire who would
make them one. After little laundering
they found the office and the man. He
was sweeping out his courtroom. When
they entered he busted off two chairs, and
said if their business was not very urgent
he would finish sweeping. Five minutes
would make everything tidy and nice.
''Give me that broom, Squire, and,
Andrew, you tell the man what's wanted"
She was not going to wait for mans
awkward sweeping.
6 He says he can't do it, Mary Jane.
1t wouldn't be lawful without a license.
Amt that rough on us ?''
License ?" and she dropped the broom
in astonishment. Mister, me and An
drew wants to get married; that's what
we want. It's not likely that We'll ever
sell whisky or keep a hotel. When we
do, We'll come to you first for a license.''
But you can't get married in Illinoy
without a license" said the Justice,
dryly.
License to get married. Well, times
has come to dreadful state. Folks can't
git married here in Illinoy without
license. There's the ironing to be done
to-day; and Andrews got 10 churn. And
there's Miss Witherwax to keep in good
humor (she's the woman me and Andrew
live with, and she's the crossest woman in
Ridge Prairie), and all this has got to hap
pen afOre sundown.''
"I'm sorry" said the Justice, "but
you must go to the Court House IN Belle
vile and get your license before l can
marry you" ""@ @f'@
"I reckon we'll have to go home with
out it, Mary Jane" remarked the groom.
GO reckon you're goose if you think
Pm going home again as Mary Jane Nc.
Michael. No, sir''
She picked up the broom and moved
toward the Justice. He prudently fell
back behind table. He didn't know
what was coming next, but she did.
"Come here, Andrew, and stand up
alongside of me.''
The groom did as he was bid '
"Now, Squire, you go ahead and do
this marryin' or there's going to be
trouble'' ..aH
The prudent Justice wanted to remon-
strate, but she wouldn't listen to a word of
it. She handled the broom in a way that
was trying to peaceable mans nerves.
He was forced to make them man and
wife
g Is it strong hitch, Squire? Will
it hold as good as any?'' she asked.
go, yes, you're married strong
enough.''
"Then pay the gentleman, Andrew, and
let's be going home. I'm bound to finish
the ironing to-day if 1 am a new married
woman. Goodbye, Squire. When
folks is in hurry there amt no better
law agoing anywhere than broom stick
law. Come, Andrew. N. 7. MercuTy.
When Richard Grant White dlscov-
al Al