Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-01-07
WHOLE NO. 544.
Gleanings.

are doing well this season.
Eldridge & Daughter is the name of
Davenport real estate firm.
Bugglns thinks that dynamite is con
traction for die any minute.
A beaver weighing 81 pounds was re-
Gently trapped in Johnson county.
The Boston Adgertiser asks: Should
hen feel proud when riding in coop,
eh ?
An immense ledge of isinglass has been
| found in the mountains near Snake river,
Idaho.
Greeley, Col, proposes to convert 10,-
! 600 Buffalo hides into robes the present
winter
The little birds in Ludlow Street Jail
still sing Tweed, Tweed, Tweed, but no
Tweed appears.
A painful getting out of
bed in ones sleep, and walking cut OF
third-story window.
Lovers should be careful how they act
in the country, for potatoes have eyes
corn has ears, and beans stalk.
An oyster bed was recently discovered
on the New Hampshire coast which the
fishermen think has been growing for .
century.
There's woman in California 40 years
old who CLAIMS to be the Oldest woman
in the world. Queer claim for woman
to make.
Bridal tours are going out of fashion,
and the young man can enjoy the first
blssful days directly under the watchful
eve of his mother-in-law.
\ writer in an eastern paper has an ar
tice headed, How Shall We Rise:' Did
he ever try sitting down on i can of nitro
glycerine:
No Chinese bank has failed for five
hundred years When the last failure
took place the officers heads were cut off
and flung into a corner with the other as
sets.
1t is said that some people have what is
called "spontaneity,' and some haven't
but nobody ever sat down on pincushion
yet without manifesting something surpris-
ingly ike it.
Providence seems to watch over the lit
tie man with biz wife, and teaches him
that one of the principal conditions OF
domestic tranquility is to always keep his
dander at low tide.
/ That mucll-talked-of telescope. il is said,
/ has really brought the moon within ten
miles of the earth. One or two turns
more of the screw may bring the whole
thing down on US.
/ The Boston Sunday Curier notes the
following scene in Il Mount Pleasant car:
Torpuent Teutonic Dame lin high key
-"Meeshder Condugder, ven | wants to
get ouet, dots Dover street.
Says scientific authority-"The wine
crop of France this year would fill a ditch
three and half feet wide, three and a
half feet deep, and 1000 miles long
Now, don't you wish that you were q
ditch?
/ The time when man fully realizes that
woman's sphere should be enlarged, is
when he finds that his wash woman has
mistaken his stockings for his shirt bo-
/ som, and starched them accordingly
I Noruich Bulletin.
! This is the kind of weather that makes
the dashlng young man wish that instead
/ of spending dollar and half for that
massive diamond pin last summer, he
/ had judiciously invested it in a pair of
winter drawers.
| Cats, foxes and weasels have always en-
/ jioyed the reputation of being remarkably
| sly, and they no doubt deserve it. but
I lo
which a woman, surprised by an unex-
: peCted caller, will slip set of false teeth
into her mouth.
What can you say of the second law
of thought?" Student-"It cannot both
/ be and not be. For example. the door
over there must either be shut or open;
can't be both shut and open" Tutor
"Give another illustration" Student
well, take the case of another door
! A darkey who was stopping to wash
his hands in creek, didn't notice the pc
culiar actions of a goat just behind HIM,
so when he scrambled out of the water
and was asked how il happened, he an
swered: Il dunno, 'zactly; but 'peared
/ as ef de shore kinder h'isted and trowed
me"
/ Pious old party-"And now, Mrs. Stub
( bins, I've one important question to ask.
/ Does not Satan ofttimes tell you that you
/ are not a Christian?" Mrs S.-"Yes, 'ee
do So" p. o P.-"And what say you
to him on these occaSions?" Mrs. s.
We'll say, whether l be or no, it cant
. possibly be none of is business ."-London
Fun.
There is Il compoSitor on this paper who
invariably spells Jerusalem with G, and
all the angels i'll heaven couldn't convince
him that there is such II letter as j. His
pleasantrieS will be recognized. and we
trust properly Credited-we have been
responsible for them long cnough.-Roef-
6sty Democrat.
Saturday morning, after the warm rain
had melted the spotlcss snow from the
CLASSY ice on The tagging, Roman step
ped from his front door, and sitting down
on the sidewalk, surveyed the landscape
between his elevated feet, while hymns of
praise hubhled up from his ovcrtlowing
heart.-R ~ 5 EiRel
One of Mark Twaln's funny stories is
that of n Scripture panorama, the proprle-
tor of which engaged pianist to play ap-
propriate music. The musician, when the
picture of the "Prodigal Son" was pass
ing, struck up when Johnny Comes
Marching Homer which excited the
indignation of the moral lecturer, some
what.
People in eastern towns have been con
Siderably disturbed by the appearance of
4 couple of men, one of whom grinds out
atlliction from hand organ, while the
other goes around the back way and tries
the kitchen windows and the side doors
People living in secluded spots are learn
ing to play the accordion rs means of
defence.
Benjamin" shouted Mrs. Toodles to
her husband who was going out of the
gate, bring me up five cents worth of
snuff when you come" Snuff? Mrs.
Toodles, snuti?" he calculated, as he
paused with his hand on the latch; mo,
no, Mrs. Toodles, the times are too hard
to admit of such extravaganza; you must
tickle your nose with straw when you
want to sneeZe."
The Anamosa Eureka SAYS that
Messrs Noble & Blakeslee, of that vicinity