Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-11-02
Matters of General Interest.

IA
ing q kicking mule. The mule was the
e1ecutioner.
Mr.. Blank-"I always found that at
s,hool the stupidest boy carried of all
the prizes" Miss Sparkle-"Did you
| get manya"
The young lady who always wanted
her sweetheart at hand, explains 1t on
the ground that it was only q nigh dear
of her own.
A man wants to sell farm in which.
meandering streams permeate luxu1-
ant pastures while majestic oaks aud
stately naples attract the eye OF the be-
holder" )"
Victor Hugo wrote to " "fraterna
banouet" of workingmen that ne
"couldn't be present, but sent them q
shake of the hand from the bottom OF
his heart"
Byron wrote Chow sweet to hear
the watchdog's honest bark. From
which we infer Byron never attended q
midnight sociable in farmers water
melon patch.
A smart young milk wagon driver ID
Louisville lately hit upon the bright idea
of putting vinegar into the buckets,
cups. ETC.. which he found in the door.
ways of those who patronized other milk
| firms.
An Illinois girl couldn't secure Ger.
tif;cate "a q school teacher because she
couIdn't tell the committee why the
hind wheels of a wagon were the largest.
All the answer she had was: "Cause
they are"
A licensed drover at Brentford, Eng,
who, while driving a bull along the road
several weeks ago, struck a cat with a
thick STICK, was ordered to be sent TO
prison, with hard labor, for month,
without option of fine.
Horace Greeley congratulated himself
on his success in raising turnlps at
! shilling apiece, but an amateur farmer
ON the Hudson river offers his guests
milk or champagne, sadly remarklng
that one costs as much as the otnef'
Such is agriculture. FL.
cit was a popular notion. OF the an
cients," said Snowman, "that TINS ere
animal, as we call a leopard. can't change
his spots; but it's now known that ne
sleeps in one spot one night and IN an
other SPOT another night, and is con-
tinually a-changing his spots.
The White Sulphur Springs GORE
spondent who wrote the following seems
to have been melted by personal feeling:
{" The fiirt is the painted hyena OF 30
ciety. the lamb-Aeece-disguised raven
ine wolf of the affectional fold. aer
fanes drip with the gore OF the fooilshiyI
| fond and true"
When the first newspaper was started
IN Japan the editor asked japanese
gentleman if he wished to have the
paper sent regularly. "No, 1 thgnk
yon m I have copy" he replied. The
gentleman of the old school had no idea
that newspaper contained fresh mateer
with every issue.
Good farming" Sambo, is you mas
ter q good farmer 2" "Oh, yes, frst-rate
farmer-he makes two cropsin one year"
elbow is that, Sambo2" "Why, he sells
all his hay in the fall, and makes money
once then in the spring lie sells the
hides of the cattle that die for want OF
the hay, and makes money twice.
A French lady announces her intention
OF visiting q circus. Her maid, with
deep solicitude, says: eff were
madame I would not go. "And why
NOT. Josephine 2" because, they say
there's to be horse there which VIII
stop in front of the biggest fool In the
audience, and you know he might hap
pen to stop before madame.
A fancy, originating in Paris. Is the
wearing Of q ball dress made entirely OF
flowers. The garment is really an over
dress, although it is so long as nearly TO
cover the other. From beneath the edge
falls some dropping flowers, Like fuch-
sias. and entirely covering the upper
part, generally made OF -mushn, are
flowers of one species or mixture Oh
all kinds. ,-...-...
The cowardiee of men who, in adver-
sity. kill themselves, and leave their
families without support, is illustrated
in the case of George b. Russell, once
prosperous broker in San Francisco. he
wrote to his wife, before committing sui
eide, as follows: &C. prefer death 20
seeing you and our children in want tor
the ne:essaries of life If I could sup.
port you and them would like to 1--we.
A dramatist is hard at work on SEN
sation drama in three acts and tive Ia
bleaux. In the second act the rich bank
or comes down stairs at midnight 10 nus
parlor and discovers a scoundrel picking
The lock of the safe inwhich is concealed
the will of his wards grandfather, and
saws: "Who are youl" The scoundrel
stamps his foot, folds his arms across MS
bosom and replies, with q sardonlc
meer: 81 am a cool, calculating VII.
lain p It is believed this scene Will
bring down the house.
Joe Butts was in Cincinnati jail &c.
cused of robbing a bank in another part
of Ohio. He wore long, heavy beard,
and the sheriff, who daily expected the
arrival of one of the bank officers who
could identify the prisoner, gave strlce
order that the whiskers must not De CUT
off. One morning, however, Butts race
WAS found clean shaven, and the altera.
tion in his appearance was so great that
the hank officers could not recognize mm
as the robber. An Investigation Is to
be made to find out who enabled him 10
shave or be shaved. -..r....
His Own Medicine.
How many doctors would be willing
r, take the medicines they prescribe