, 1876-11-26
heterodox as Blauvelt: They have not all had
the chance for the public expression Of their
views which he had.
SLIPS.

4 woman who was told that some tables in
the Russian Department were made Of malachite
exclaimed: "My goodness! I thought Mma-
chite was one Of the prophets.''
Andrtus' Bazar: A thief explained to the
Judge that he had left the premises <sunder an i'm
that he had been kicked by q man With No. u
boot.
a wag tried to annoy 3 popular preacher by
asking him Ii the lated calf in the parable Was
male or female. !" Feuaalr, to be su1c,n was
the reply, g. for see the male in the flesh be
fore me-"
Philadelphia Bulletin: There is said to be a
church in Berlin made entirely Of paper. The
idea is carried out by having little pages to in
troduce visitors to the quirc. while the preacher
is known as the papier-naasher Of the pulpit.
Nothing like truthlulness in vendor. Re-
Gently an itinerant bookseller called at house
in Pennsylvania. and, after showing several
Bible. Firstrate book; fall Of us:tul nyorn,a-
tion!''
"Boys," said the teacher, holdingup her right
foreinger to make the scholars attentive,
stwhat Is Indian-meal composed Of ~ And a
little boy in the back seat, who wore patched
trousers got Up and said' Please, ma'am, roast
DEvouRED BIZ MISSIONARY.
"Of all kinds OF boarders,'' said AIR. Maguffin,
ssthe most voracious is the Theological student.
What there may be in the study.of theology to
sharpen lnan's appetite I am unable to deter
dent OF divinity is the most powerful OF famine
breeders. The young man reared in the city Is
ant to make WretcGel round Of so4alled dissi-
pations, sleep in the close air Of 4 small room,
and come to the table with MI appetite that is
quickly satisfied; the man Of business feeds
himself with the same purpose that IN engineer
rcpleuishes the fire under his boiler, and slows
his provisions as he would load ship, with
ncatness and dispatch; the man who is healthy
enough to be, under favorable circumstances, d
hearty eater, finds his food poorly cooked,
and uninvitingly sclyed, and goes from
the table early; but the theological student
laughs and talks and eats, eats, eat6. Perhaps
it isn't the study Of theology that improves lis
appetite; it may be that pure mir, correct hab-
its, mud healthtul exercise have given linn that
cause, alter l had seen him cut was led regret
gully to dlsrredit as illogical the narrowing tales
that lound circulation in the Sunday-scilool
books Of our childhood concerning tile eating VI
the missionary by the savagcs, and subsequent
events have confirmed my belief that those sto-
ries are not grounded in 1act.
stNot many years ago lived in an excellent
boarding-house that sheltered about fifteen
embryo ministers, nearly all Of whom had al-
ready taken on something Of the breadth aud
their noble calling, aud Z joIlier: happier, more
even-tempereu band never met. They dis
gusseu theology with the zeal and clearness
that is coexistcnt with youth, and they dis
cusscd the provisions with gusto that was ap-
palling to tue landlady. 1t was fortunate for
yiled liberally; but she always went to prayer
meeting on the day that the butchers bill was
sent in. At last there came from some far-olf
island in the Southern seas call for mission
duys were over braycly bucklcd on his armor
for the work. Thoughts OF approaching de-
porturc for q distant unknown land might dim
lis eyes but not hie appetite. At that last dfn-
ncr he ate the bill Of 1are from 4 to without
q break save for duplicates Of his favoritc
dishes, ind then he packed q carpet bag with
provisions to curry uuuaru ship. From the time
Of his arrival in the heathen country We re-
ceircd from him monthly letters that were the
admiration OF the clearinghouse. Suddenly
his missives ceased. Week after week rolled By,
aud month after month, and still no letter; aud
JOY over his JEALOUS laboring in an arduous field
gaye way to grief and despondency; even the
landlady, wlu, NOW that hc nnu lis fello'Ea We're
gone, wAs growing rich, shared the general de-
preston. and wished that he was safely back
and she in debt again; and the whole boarding
house settled gloomly into conviction that
he had been devourcd by the sayages.
ss1t was ut this mournlul iuncture that the
energetic and phllosophic Magruder}came to the
front with the suggestion that we write to the
agent III the Sandwich Islands and get him to
send the missionary ship to see whnt had be-
fallen our missing friend. The appeal was not
in vain. Piling on sail the skipper laid his
course for the equator. As be nearef the island
Of his destination he deserted through Lis tele-
SCOPE lean and agile savage bounding frantt-
cally down the mountain side, and cluse behind
in hot pursuit was portly white man. It was
nip and tuck till they reached the beach, and
there on level ground the leader made tile better
time, and springins into canoe he padded
gnashing his teeth on the shore. Plying his
paddle with the energy OF desperation the saw
age made Decline 1or the ship, and clanbering
up her sides he fell upon the deck gasping:
Missionary eatee alice up but me ell!
4sTaking in the situation at glance, the skip
Per promptly broke cargo and took ashore
small boat load Of provisions; and, when the
missionary had eaten his I'LL, the story OF the de-
uopulateu island was quickly told: The store OF
provisions left with the missionary WAS thought
sufficient for bis wants until the ship 6houlu
come again; but the ozone or something else IN
the atmosphere had so extraordinarily develop
ed his appetite that lie ate up everything long
within the allotted time, and then he was COM
PEELED 70 decide whether he should let the saw
ages eat him or cat the savagcs himself; lis
decision, let hope, resulted in the survival Ut
the tittest.
stHc was tried afterward by the Missionary
Board The lone savage whom he had once
endeayored to eat swore point blank that the
missionary had in every instance converted his
victim before eating him, aud on this testimony
tile missionary was aqustted; but ever alter
ward the Bourd took care that he should he as
signed to some station not far away from the