Litchfield enquirer., 1876-06-29
CLIPPINGS,

CLIPPINGS.
 The iron horse has but one ear-the en- gineer.
 Moving for a new trial-Courting sec- ond wife.
 Thefts never enrich, aims never impov- erish.
 The bored of ducation-Children who hate the Sunday school. Advice to fishmongers in warm wealth er-"Deal gently with the herring Master-Now, where did the Cyclops live? Youth-In Cyclop@dia, please sir. -"Your quond-m friend" was the way a young lady of Chicago signed @ letter to former schoolmate.
 A young husband handed his wife dozen buttons, the other day and asked her to put shirt to them. - The exhibition is closed on Sundays on religious grounds. Twenty thousand peo- pie hang around the fences all day on sec-' ular grounds. A Southern paper says that Barto Coun- ty has turned out eighteen ministers since the war. It doesn't state what they were turned out for. .....
 Sarcastic Slash-Young swell: II should like to have my moustache dyed" Polite barber: Certainly. Did you bring it with you?"
 A great many of our exchanges indulge in cutting satire; that is, they cut it from other papers and pass it off as their own. On learning the number of revolutions of the great Corliss engine per minute, Dom Pedro said: '"That beats our South American republics P
 Woman has many advantages over a man; one of them is that his will has no operation till he is dead, whereas hers generally takes effect in her lifetime.
 The abdication of the Sultan gave three thousand American newspapers an oppor- tunity to remark that "the Sultan Abdul Aziz is the Sultan Abdul as was."
 Mosquitoes are lively in Louisville, and l the people are sorry for the harsh things 1 they sung and said about the beautiful snow. r
 If there be any good in thee, believe that there is much more in others. It hurteth the most of all to prefer myself even to one.
 The Woman's Journal asks, "How shall we utilize the superfuous woman? ?" It seems as if she might be Utahlized by for warding her to Salt Lake City.-NorWich Bulletin.
 Half the sorrows of women would be averted If they could repress the speech they know to be useless-nay, the speech they have resolved not to utter.
 Shocked and astonished .verger: 'You bad and wicked boy, why don't take off your hat in church?." Bad and wicked boy Overcome with guilD: "If you please, sir I'm little girl !'
 A daughter of Erin.-The new cook, on receiving "short" notice to leave, with a hint that she has given a false character: "An IS it me false character we're afther casting in me teeth! As if I'd be bring. ing me thrue character vid me, to lose 1t in your dirty service"
 "Mrs. Henry" said John, the other evening, ''why are you like the Devil r And when she went for him with the needle he had hardly time to save him. self by quotation about "sowing tares'' 1.-the other reasons he prudently kept to himself.
 The unhappiest woman in Washington just now IS one who appeared in company Tn calico dress. expecting to hear every body praise her economy. All she did hear was; "Good gracious what's your husband heen dOinv 9"
 "Vell. sare," said centennial restaur- ant keeper, shrugging his shoulders when 8 customer from Arkansas demurred to paying $l for cup of coffee and a roll. ''ze price he may luke large, zat I admete; but zen, sare, refict that you .nafer hate anozzer shance like zese for une huntl et years"
 At a recent exhibition. of paintings a lady and her Son were regarding with much interest picture which the cata. logue designated as Luther at the Diet of Worms" Having descanted at some length on its merits, the boy remarked, "MOther, I see Luther and the table, but where are the worms ?"
 "Have you children ?" demanded a house renter. .'Yes," replied the other. solemnly, .'six x- ali in the. cemetery. j "Better there than here."- said the land. lord. consolingly. and proceeded to exe- cute the desired lease. In due time the children returned from the cemetery. whither they had been sent to have a nice play; but it was too late to annul the con- tract.
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