The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-07-13
Wit and HumOr.

Wit and HumOr.
A RACE of sculptors-The Chip-away
Indians.
A FnAT-FooTED statement-One made
by ST. Louis BELLE Chicago Tribune.
THE Niagara Falls hackmen will ego"
for each and every candidate. = Free
Press.
On, for lodge in a garden of cucumbers!
Oh, for an Iceberg or two at control!
Oh. for vale which at midday the dew cumbers
Oh, for pleasure trip up to the pole
-Nelv York Mail.
An Omaha woman writes from the
Centennial art gallery to her home paper
giving an enthusiastic account of such
works as the "Drying Gladiator" and
"Apollo of Belleview, dear!'
A PHILADELPHIA who jostled tur-
baned Mussulman distributing circulars
on Chestnut street, few days ago, was
Mortified at the exclamation j: Blast yer
sowl! do viz take me for rale Turruk u
WHEN certain woman in town speaks
of her slate husband" you must not
conclude that she is widow. Her hus-
band is living, but he is never home
until midnight.-St. Louis Republican.
A colored minister wishing to notify
his congregation that the Sunday after
noon services would be discontinued,
said IS Hereafter in the afternoon there
will be no preaching in the afternoon
hereafter"
"BoYs," said the teacher, holding up
her right forefnger to make the scholars
attentive, "what is Indian meal composed
OFF," And q little boy in the backseat, who
wore patched trousers, got up and said,
"Please, 'am, rost missionaries.
"YoU come we'll recommended, sup
pose?" said gentleman to boy who
wanted an easy place. ooh, yes, sir;
the man [ was with last recommended
me he recommended me TO leave, and
get work more congenial with my dispo-
sition."
THE Evening Wisconsin, at Milwau-
kee, said, on the last day Of the Cincin-
natl Convention, "Our ears are turned
toward Cincinnati, and the Sacramento
(Cal.) Union says, "This accounts for
the observation of the sun out here on
that day.
A negro about dying was told by his
master that he must forgive certain
darkey against whom he seemed to enter
tain very bitter feelings. I" Yes, sab"
he replied, IF dies I forgib dat Mig
ga but if I gets well dat nigga must
take care -
Two WOMEN on the street yesterday
wrangled like magpies over the possess
ion of stray block of ice, which both
seemed to have found simultaneously.
There was GOODNESS between them for
a while, but the ice melted before their
dispute ended.-NeaO York Tribune.
SMALL GR1-s' Place, Misther Dono-
van, what o'clock is it?" Horologer-
"Half-past wan" exit small girl.) Can
interval of one minute. Re-enter small
girl Small Girl-' Place, Misther Don
ovan, what o'clock is it e." HorolOger-
''Sure, amn't afther telling yea" Small
Girl. but tits another woman
towld me to ak ye this time"
A New JERSEY editor lost his best gold
pen and holder few days ago. After
making a thorough search all over the
office, and accusing dozen tramps with
it's theft, he happened to remember
where he last placed it, and bending
down the top of his ear, discovered no
less than fourteen pen-holders of various
styles which he had lost within the last
two years,
THREE or four Detroit girls were the
other day discussing the character and
standing of certain young man, and an
old lady was close listener. One OF
the girls finally remarked: Swell,
guess he's rich, for I saw him coming
out of a bank the other day" "And [
guess he drives street car, put in the
lady, Z" for saw him jump off car one
day last week. :"
A DOWNTOWN man who read that the
habit of tobacco-chewing could be cured
by tasting an apple every time he felt
inclined to partake of the weed, gave the
recipe one days trial. AS he felt a
hankering for the weed all day, he de-
voured bushel of apples before bed
time, and retired with chunk of the
fruit in his mouth, which accidentally
slipped down his throat and nearly
choked him to death. He resumed the
weed next morning.