davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
HIIIsDALE MICH. TUESDAY, MAY 80. 1876.


4I0o8. Buyo hls' 'Grst Friction Match
then called assLucifer," and after
wards "Loco Foco." Throws away
the cid tinder-box, with its flint and
steel. lt .a-f e
1885. Inyents the Reyolver, and sets
about supplying the world with IL, as q
peace-maker. Tnes Gold Pen, but
cannot find good one yet--nor till
1914. Buys real Railroad, and rides
on IL. @
1887. Gets in panic-and out
again, after free use OF "shin-plasters. !"
1898. Adopts the new fashion OF
putting his letters in Envelopes Ia fash
ION which does not fairly prevail till
seven years later.
1910. Sits for his Daguerreotype,
and gets picture fsarfully and won.
derfully made. Begins 10 blow him
self up with "camphene" and "Burn-
ing Fluid" and continues the process
for years with changes of name of the
active agent, down to and including
"Non-Explosive Kerosene"
1874. Sent his first message 10y the
Electric Telegraph. .a
1647. Buys his wife a sewing Ma
chine in the vain hope that somehow il
will keep the buttons on his shirts. Be
gins to receive advices from the "Spir-
il World"
1853. Celebrates the laying of the
Ocean Cable, and sends friendly mes
sage to John Bull Next week begins
to doubt whether the cable has been
laid at all. ta+ q.
1861. Goes South TO help compose
family quarrel. Takes 20 using Pa
per Money.
lsGl-ls6J. Climbs the Hill Dihl-
Guilty, relieved Of his pack after Jan. I,
1854. But loses Great Heart April IA.
1866.
1865. Gets the Atlantic Cable in
working order at last, in season to send
word TO his British cousins (who have
been waiting for an invitation TO his
funeraD, that he lives yet
1s65-lS75. Is recoustructing aud
talking about Resumption. Sends his
boy to the Museum TO see an old-fash-
ion Silver Dollar.
1875. Goes TO Banker Hill TO pay
honor to the illustrious men who com
manded Gen. Putnam. Thinks he
won't infate-snd helps straugle
Western rag-baby. Gets ready to cell
ebrate his second golden wedding by
grand family reunion next year in
Philadelphia.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
The school Reform =.
From lhe Lansing Republican.

From The Lansing Republican.
Mrs. Kate Bresrley Ford, who used
to teach in this city, contributes a sens
ible article TO the April number of the
Michigan Teacher on teaching practi-
cal things in school, and that by FAM
liar Conversation instead OF our
stiff and stately tex book style. She
calls attention to the fashionable folly
of reciting the words Of the book with
out fully comprehending their mean
ing. In geography, for instsncs. pupils
are required each week to commit TO
memory GO or 20 long and unheard of
names, and there is rarely any talk
about tho matters contained in the les
son. Cities remain dots, the st. Law
renco river runs up hill, the north pole
looks like q telegraph pole, Pennsylva-
MIA is blue state and Kentucky is n
green one.
Not long ago Mrs. Ford was talking
with bright little girl OF nine years,
who had just completed her first book
in geography, when she promptly and
correctly gave the definition of geog-
raphy as a description of the earth 8
surface; but when asked whether she
had ever seen the earth, or any part OF
it, she said No. Similarly, teacher
in Illinois some years ago was examin-
ing class in geography. when all the
pupils had "never seen the earth. Z"
The examiner led them to the window
and showed them the ground for the
first time in their lives.
Mrs. Ford continues: Outside of ge-
ography, also, the ignorance OF the
most common Affairs surpassss belief.
A hundred things in the school.room,
about home, and on every hand, are
never counted ss worth mentioning
The commoncst things we eat, the fab
ric of the clothes we wear, the animals
and plants Of our own state, our do
mestic animals, the heavenly bodies,
etc, are too much neglected. Now.
let us no more act in opposition to our
better opinions.
Amen to that We all know the
right and yet the wrong pursue, snch
is the sway OF custom.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
The r,.e.wes.,sr..

When Mr.. Webster visited England,
after he had attained fame enough to
preceds, an English gentleman took
him one day TO see Lord Brougham---
That eminent Briton received our Dan
iel with such GOODNESS that he was glad
20 get away aud back 10 his rooms. -
The friend who had taken him at once
returned Lord Broughsm IN haste and
anger. a t-ei-i "a
my lord. how could you behave
with such uuseemly rudeness sod dis
courtesy 90 so great q lawyer and states
mani IL was insulting 70 him, and has
filed me with modification 80 :
"why, what on earth have | done.
and whom have been rude tor
"To Daniel Webster, OF the Senate
OF the United States" 1af u-W
Great Jupiter, what blunderl
thought il was that fellow Webster
vho made dictionary and nearly ruin
ed the English language.
Then the great Chancellor quickly
hunted mp the American Senator, and
having other tastes in common be
sides Law and politics, they made
royal night OF it-[Editor's Drawer
Harps. 3 Magazine for June.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
Young America. slang.

New York Commercial. 81 rsvarr
Mother" said promising boy, ss
he came in. whistling, from school, the
other day, slung his satchel fun of
books down on the stair-landing, aud
elected a howl OF sgony from his in
FAINT sister by giving her sly punch in
the ribs; mother. I hear 'em saying
at school to-day that this Belknap bus
mess is all n stall; is il ?"
"a what, my son?' inquired the dot
ing mother.
"A. 'snide,' You know. A first-class
blk on the community"
81 don't understand you. Willy.
dear; what horrid words those are; ex-
PLAIN yourself.
"Ob, mother, pull down your vest
mean. isn't it a fraud, put-up Job
you know, to get Bel TO give himself
away, aud then have Gale Marsh light
out for Canada, SOS he can't swear it
on i'm. Don't you twig7 Where's th
old man?'
Whackl bangl came an application
OF slipper suddenly from the rear-the
'old man" having just entered Hnob'
served in season to wind mp the dia-
logue. ~ siaiaaq
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
low 10 Pa, Down cn,.nm.n

The extreme measures resorted to by
the anti Chinese element of the Pacific
coas. is likely to create a revulsion
throughout the country In the interest
Of the Mongolians. The anti-Coolie
clubs OF San Francisco are doing all
that in their power lies TO bring on a
riot which could only result in the
who le butchery OF the inoffensive Ash
atics. One plan-adopted by the South
San Francisco Club---is TO starve ont
the offensive pig-tails The way this
is to be accomplished IL as follows: A
special committee was appointed ~
keep up an espionage aud report the
names of all persons who patronized
the Chinese, and On immense black
board was erected in q conspicuous
place. ON which the names of all per-
sons who deal with the Chinese, is
posted. The young men plepgod them
selves not 10 act as the escort OF any
young lady who patronizes the Chinese
washermen. and the young ladies ia
tnrn offer ~ cleanse gratis the dirty
linen of gentlemen friends who viii
cease 10 take il 10 the "washee house
OF detested john The plan. seems tc
word satisfactorily, as at latest reports
the earnings of the Chinese in South
Francisco had been reduced TO an aver
age Of Is cents week.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
Expressions which shouId not be
Used by Gentlemen.

They come to us in letters, cummun.
ications from men who ought TO be
educated, from lawyers, bankers, from
secretaries Of societies, from delegates
TO General Conventions, from clergy
men, from all sorts Of men, and they
annoy us, they make us have a Low
opinion OF human nature, cause us Ia
hang our heads and blush for the weak
ness and wickedness OF Adams chill
dren. and finally they seriously impairs
our appetite.
please. dear friends, be consider
ate.
Do not write while these events
were transpiring" when you near
while these events were occurring.
Do not say or write demise when you
mean death" Do not write "even
tuate or inaugurate" il you can help it,
and you can by earnest effort.
Do not call man reliable" whom il
is just rs easy to call MIN Trustworthy.
Do not, as friend did the other day
say sit is too rough in my opinion. foI
this section" and thereby make peo.
pie think you have been trained as @
government surveyor, but not trained
in the use Of the English language.
Why not say in English, and not in
Yankee. "this part OF the country,
"this neighborhood," this community,
anything in fact but the vulgarism
'this section" Also, please do not
write ms about something that occurred
Sin our midst" Keep oil that your
medical man, as our English cousins
call him.
Moreover, when you approve some
thing, or somebody, be merciful and
do not endorse" il or him. Do not
get on peoples backs in this fashion.
Plain people, quite uneducated peo
pie, usually speak nervous and idiom
attic English.
Men OF the very best cnlture do the
same. The people who abuse our no
bic tongue after such fashions as We
have mentioned are semi-educated, af
fected and offensive.
The plaincst and simplest speech !,
the best. And il becomes all cultivat
ed people to guard the purity OF thsil
speech. There is a moral question
here.
In the long run we do not believe
that people who say eventuate, inaug
! uratc. demise, ain our midst" etc.
can remain honest, upright people,
There is a moral lack somewhere. TX
outrage the language OF ones nativ,
land is crime, and leads 20 o.heI
crimes. .-tChnrch Journal
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
.Here's gapa.-

A young single gentleman in Lesv-
envorth (says the St. Louis Republi.
CAM lately blushed and hung his head
in church. He was sitting At his de-
votions while the service was IN pro-
gress, very meek and mild. A little
four -yesr-old girl, with tongue IN her
head, spying him, broke away from
her preoccupied mother, ran down the
aisle and sprang into the young mans
arms, exclaiming, 20, mamma, here's
papai" in 80 gleeful and ringing .
voice that the whole church fall OF pco-
pie we're startled. The mother and
child we're both well known to many
present, the former ~ q dsshing wid.
ow. and the latter as an honest child OF
a dead father. II was further known
that the young man had been paying
ardent attentions to the widow. The
devotional exercises were stopped pei
force, and the congregation indulged
in n burst Of laughter which sounded
foreign 10 the place. The young mani
devotion was Knocked ont OF him, and
he left the sanctuary In confusion.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30

From lansing Republican.

Mssakazuh Stehaehi Toyama from
Shidz-oka, Japan, formerly a student
here, but more recently a student ai
the university, has been forced TO quit
his studies for want OF means, and ID
now on his way home. Mr.. Toyama,
unlike most of the Japanese students,
was from the poorer class of people,
and depended for his support here ell
tirely on his own resources. He came
TO this country as secretary Of the Jap.
anose legation, and with the money re-
ceived for that service he undertook 10
secure for himself an education. He
commenced the study of the classics in
the Ann Arbor high school, but soon
changed to n study of the sciences iu
the university. He studied botany and
entomology here during one OF the uni
versity vacations. Toyama has the
name of being the best student from
japan ever mt the university or al our
college. He was certainly the most so
cial. and used to participate in games
Of football with all the zest OF Ameri-
can students. At Ann Arbor he car
ried his enthusiasm so far as to sign
the protest against the suspension OF
students for hazing, and was one OF
the 92 who were afterward suspended.
He regarded his suspension with great
indignation. and wrote an impertinent
letter to the faculty, which was pub
lished in the Chicago Times.
Your correspondent saw him about
the middle of last Janury, just as he
was about to enter recitation in the
calculus, and he looked rs il very poor
had on a long, shabby overcoat, and
remarked that he conld not stay here
long. He hopes to study in England,
after teaching few years at home ~
earn enough to defray expenses.
President Abbott lectured Wednes
day on the study OF United States his.
tory.
The last meeting Of the alumnus club
was devoted to discussion on wheat.
growing. Failures in 10 were assigned
principally to too frequent cropping,
bleak winters, and poor cultivation,
and for improvement, the advantages
Of white willow or arbor vitae, deer
and thorough cultivation, systematic
rotation, the sowing Of fewer acres oil
wheat, and more raising of stock, were
advised. .--Aiessrs. Garfield, Carpenter,
and Higbee, were appointed commit.
tee TO prepare programme and arrange
for an alumni meeting August next
and Prof. Cook, Mr.. Ingersoll, and w.
l.. Carpenter were appointed to revise
the constitution and propose articles oi
amendment TO be submitted at the
August meeting.-Daily prayer-meet
ings are being held from 81 to o'clock
in the evening. Last Saturday the wa
ter in Cedar river was three inches
above last springs high water marx,
and on Friday the rush OF water
through the 1S-inch sewer on the lawr
caused washout in two places. Dam.
ages cannot be repaired until the water
Subsidies.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
Censssss.s sAsir Faults.

A short time ago Mr.. Grimes and bis
wife were sitting together one even
ing. and they got TO talking about their
married life and their past troubles un-
til both OF them grew quite sympathet-
ic and affectionate. At last Mrs.
Grimes suggested that it might help. to
kindle afresh the fire Of love in their
hearts il they would freely confess
their faults to each other, and promise
to amend them. Mr.. Grimes said il
struck him as being good idea. For
his part he was willing to make n clean
breast OF it, but he suggested that per-
haps his wife had better begin. She
thought for a moment, aud this con-
versation ensned:
Mrs. Grimes: "Well, then, William,
/ am willing to acknowledge that I am
the worst-tsmpered woman in the
world"
q. turning aud looking at herr.
Louisa, that's about the only time
you ever told the square-toed IN your
Mrs. G. Qndignantly)-"Mr. Grimes,
that's perfectly outrageous. You ought
TO be ashamed OF yourself"
HAVE got the worst temper OF any wo-
man ever saw"
Mrs. G.-''No haven't either. I'm
Just rs good-tempsred as you are.
G.-"That's not SO. You're as cross
as bear. III your were married to a
craven image you'd quarrel with it F"
Mrs. G.-"That's an outrageous
falsehood? There isn't any woman
about this neighborhood that puts mp
with as much as do without getting
angry. You're perfect brute
G.-"It's you that is the brute.
Mrs. G.-"No it isn't"
G.-'Yes ii is. You're as sDappislI
as mad dog. It's few men that could
stand the like OF you"
Mrs. G.-If you say that again III
scratch your eyes out.
CT dare you to lay your hands
on me, you vixen"
Mrs. G.--"You do, ELI? Well, take
that! and that! (cuffing him on the
head.
G.-'You let go OF my hair. or III
mnrder you"
Mrs. CT will; aud I'll leave this
house this very night; won't live any
longer with such a monster.
G.-"Well, quit; get out. The soon
er the better. Good riddance to bad
rubbish. and take your duds with you. "
Mrs. Gin sorry i ever married
you. You amt fit to be yoked with
any decent woman"
G.-"Well, you amt half as sorry
as / am. Goodbye. Don't come back
soon"
Then Mrs. Grimes put on her bon.
net and went around to her mothers.
Mr.. Grimes hasn't yet confessed what
his principal failing is.-tPhila. Bul-
letin.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
Written for the Detroit Tribune.
FLOWERS OF SPRING.
M KIrTIE curuBERrsoN.

Flowers Of beauty, bud and bloom.
Shed your wealth OF sweet perfume,
Scattered over all the meadows.
Blooming In the woodland shadows,
Making bright the deepest gloom.
Balmy breeres softly blow,
Through the sprlngtime blossoms goi
Find the sleeping buds and wake them,
Breathing DER them, gently shake them
Aud their fraganee We will know
Sunbeams. kiss the flowers fair,
They will blush In beauty rare;
Some In tufts Of green abiding,
Shed your light where they are hldiug,
Make them bloom more brightly there.
For what purpose were they made,
Blooming In the light and shadei
Now no more for winter caring,
Earth her springtime dress Is wearing,
In her robes OF green arrayed.
And the flowers. here and there,
Are her jewels rich aud rare;
Sparkling gems the earth adorning,
Gllttering In the dew Of morning,
Could she brighter jewels wear.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
a woman who Wants Co be Di.scet-
ed After Death.
From the Baltimore Gazette.

A singular bequest has just been
made by n young woman % years OF
age, living in the western section OF the
city. The lady, whose name is with
held by request, has been afflicted for
four years by an obscure affection OF
the abdominal organ, which has baffied
all the medical men who have attended
her, several of the number being ply
sicians OF Philadelphia. Some months
ago she was admitted 10 the Maryland
University Hospital, where she has
been under treatment. After an exam
ination, her condition was pronounced
hopeless, and she, at the solicitation
OF her parents, determined TO return
to her home to spend the remainder OF
her life. A few days since she had an
interview with DIR. Ashby, resident
physician Of the hospital, and OF her
own free will dictated the following:
"Inasmuch as my death must speed
lily result from causes which have baf-
fled science and confused the best med
ical minds, I desire that you shall per-
form upon my body after death an OK
animation, aud ascertain what it is that
has terminated my life. / request that
such examination shall be made pri-
vately and respectfully by yourself and
few Of your medical students and
medical friends. ] have furthermore
urged my parents and friends TO allow
such an examination, and TO inform
you at once of my death, in case OF
such an event, since i shall go TO my
home from the hospital TO pass the re-
mainder OF my DAYS. My reasons for
making the request are these: A post
mortem examination can do mo no pos
sible injury, and it may benefit science
and through il some other unfortunate
afflicted like myself. Moreover, l de.
sire to express in this manner the graf
itude l feel to the medical men who
have lsbored for my relief Lastly, il
is duty / owe my sex and God"
DIR. Ashby states that the young wo-
man is intelligent and respectable.
She will be removed to her home. and
when death takes place the provisions
OF her will be carried out.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
aoy Mr. narnum sold his idols.
From tue New York Evening Post.

From tue New York Evening Poet.
When T. Il. Barnum sold ont his
show which he had last before the or
ganizatiou OF his present great centen-
nial exhibition, he found upon his
hands some Central American idols
and other curiosities OF that region. -
These he placed in the hands Of deal
er in New Haven, Conn, for sale. -
Word was sent 10 Prof. o. q. Marsh,
Of Yale College. telling him that these
articles were we'll worth mis- attention.
He forthwith went down to the shop
and examined them. Finding them TO
be OF value, lie asked the shopkeeper
what he would take for them, The
man replied 1900. Prof. Marsh then
offered him $50 for the entire collec-
tion, aud the man accepted the offer,
and the articles were at once transport
ell To Yale College museum. The next
| day Prof. Marsh, while riding Oh the
New Haven Railroad, happened TO meet
Mr.. Barnum, and the latter told him
| be had some valuable curiosities, which
cost him more than 81 600, and which
he would like to have Prof. Marsh see,
except for one thing. The fact il,
said Mr.. Barnum, the lrst day after
their arrival in New Haven some fellow
came in and offered tho man in whose
charge they we're left $50 for the col
lection, aud got them" Prof. Marsh
I looked modest, and remarked mildly
to Mr.. Barnum that lac was that 'fel-
low" whereupon Mr.. Barnum recover
ell his eluanimity regarding the dilier-
/ enoa kat uean tka eost af the Collection
and the price he obtained for it az in
some sort contribution 10 the College.
Prof Marsh says that the value OF the
collection does not begin to be express
| ed by the original cost Of ii.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30

Lansing, fortunately, has never been
troubled with waiter girls saloons but
our neighboring city Jackson. has had
the soul destroying evil for some time,
which seemed TO flourish vigorously
under Democratic rule. The new Re
publican Mayor. James O'Donnell, has
commenced the work OF closing MP
these places. He recently accompan-
led the police 10 two OF these dens and
arrested the keepers and four girls
from each.-[Lansing Republican,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30

The iiOu wuL N. Tweed: rfal 90 ll
Nj Dram SiR-I beg 20 present 90 yonr at.
tention tie case Of samuel Allen, very old
friend OF ours, who is in grcstpeed Of small
appointment under your department. for
which he has applied. lie would be content
With something. for time. of not very
high rauk. You know him so well that need
add nothing. he used 10 be very efficient
and useful worker and Is an entirely reliable
man, sod shouid be personally glad II you
could heip him
Truly yOur-. l.al
fsigBed) a s ]. Iildtn.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
Special Telegram to The In.sr-oes.n.

BATTLE GREEK, Mich, May ST. j.
Bradley, the clothing merchant, who
stabbed B. II. Crandall, on Saturday
morning, and who was arrested on q
charge Of assault with intent to kill,
was arraigned for examination this
morning before Justice Russell He IL
held in the sum Of $500, and his exam.
ination will be continued tomorrow.
The case IL exciting considerable inter
est in tho city. Bradley claims that lac
ncted in self-defensc,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-05-30
Cold water ana Marshall Railroad.

FROM TIE NOluWdtcT itepuDlci0.
Matters have assumed such a shape
on this road that it remains entirely
with the people OF Girard township
and this city to say whether we shall
have the road or not. The road-bed
between Girard aud this city is COM
pleted, or, at least, in such condition
as TO require but n small expenditure
to place il in readiness for the ties, and
there remains less than four miles north
of that point to the south bank of the
St Joseph River 10 complete The adj
yantages Of this road TO our Girard
friends cannot help but he apparent,
as it gives them a northern and south
ern outlet with competing eastern and
western lines six miles north and south
OF them, thus giving them railroad adj
vantages which will be of incalculable
importance. Securing the right of
way and building the road-bed--which
is all that il required of that township
- is but small item in comparison
with the advantages that will be deriv-
ell. OF course our citizens are well
aware of the advantages which will re-
suit to our city, and We hope they will
put their shoulder TO the wheel and
help the matter along with n will and
determination to have the cars running
north from here before another winter
sets in.
The proposition from the party who
stands ready 10 complete the road is
substantially as follows: He will iron
the road, build all the bridges OF over
- foot span, erect depot buildings,
round-houses, machine shops and turn
tables. put up telegraph lines, etc.
and commence laying iron north from
this city at n rate of net less than 90
miles per month upon the performance
of the contract ou the part of the citi-
Gems regarding the road.bed and right
Of way; he to take their obligations
payable after the road has been in sue
cessful operation 80 days. Nothing
could be more fair. and rs the terms
arc 80 liberal we see no gool reason
why the road should not be pushed to
All early completion.