The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-09-02
Gleanings and Gossip.
The baby's little gamo-Bawl.

A place for rofection--The mirror.
A summer.y measure. The thormom.
etcr.
Deception ono cannot see through--A
glass eye.
There is a great falling.off Of little
boys who try to ride on tho behind end
of street car.
1t would be bOtter for proof readers if
all tho Turkish generals were named
Smith. Detroit Free Press.
Why may tipsy man fall into the
river with impunity2 Because he won't
drown as loug as his head swms.
A brewer having been drowned 10 one
OF his own vats, Alas poor fellow"
said Jekyll, floating on his own watery
bier!"
IL shall follow her soon," said sad.
eyed man at the grave of his wife.
Within month be was following another
woman.
A Georgia man is suing another for
ono cents damage to his nose. N
much scents in that.-Nel0 York
Graphic.
Charles Lamb, when speaking Of one
OF his rides ou horseback, remarked that
"nll at once his horse stopped, but he
kept right on.
MADAM" said gentleman to his
wiio, "let me tell you facts are very
stubborn tninge." What fact you
must be-" queth the lady.
A wag, noted for his brevity. writes
to friend to be careful ia the selection
of his dict. He says; "Don't ea,
Q-cuuibsrs; they'll W.up.
What do you sell these fowls for p
al sell them for profits" Thank you
for the information that they arc proph.
cts. | took them for patriarchs."
Is vas rather personal 10 a California
newspaper man to chronicle the purchase
of mule BY u brother editor as "a re.
markablo instance Of seli.posse.sion."
An Irish barristcr, just arrived in
England, had bad habit of putting out
bis tongue. Il suppose" said Jckyll,
that he is trying to catch the English
accent"
Thrilling passage from the icuileton
OF lie Soir "In the name of all that is
dear to you, sir, | conjure you You
arc married, you are probably a father,
perhaps a son then have compassion
upon me
NJ de b., who is worry ,imid il asked
if he knows Milo X. of the Varieties.
"know her2 should think | did. I
was her god father" "IIer god father ?"
replied one of the company. Yes. that
is. perhaps am not now, but was"
The late DR.. ------- did not satisfy by his
preaching the Calvinistic portion of his
flock. Way sir" said they" We think
you dluna tell Us enough about reuoun-
cling our ain rie!'ooG ness" "Repouuo.
ing your ain righteousness :" yocilerated
the astouished doctor Il never saw Sc
had any TO rcuOuucc!"
Monsieur, said an Intelligent waiter
WHO served NE when ia Paris, and
whom | have known Tor years, Tho
manner Of gentleman who respects
himself aud considers his servant, one
docs not SEQ it, Que pcrcoives it. 1t is
as quiet, monsieur, as the perfume Of u
flower. .'--ApPetons' Journal.
An inquirer at San Jose wants us to
decide bet. He asks: What was the
frat name Of Shakespeare, the author of
Hamlet and several other plays7" By
reference to our encyclopedia. We Gud
his name was George. or, as he always
signed himself, G. Dobson Shakespeare
-San Francisco Nc,cs Letter.
Two young ladies' from the country
visit tho Paris salcn and admire several
hundred pictures. A, last they turn to
go. and as they pass cut, one observes,
with a kind smile, TO the door.keeper:
Permit US to tender you our congratu.
laticrs, sir They are all very beautiful.
1t must have cost You great pains to
paint them all =
An attorney named Else. rather dim.
inutivo in stature, and rot particularly
respectable in bis character, once met
Jekyll. "sir," said he, IL hear you
have called ne Il 7ettifogging sooundrel.
Have YOU done 50, sir 7" Sir" said
JeeyIl' with look of eontempt, II never
said You were a pettiiogger, OF scoun
dfel; hut said you were "llttle Elsc."
A hote.keeper posts at his door this
notice--"Euglish, German, Italian and
Spanish Spoken Here" Arrives an
Englishman. aud in fantastic French
asks for the interpreter. Monsieur"
replies tho wriiec, there j. noue."
What, no ip'efpro.er2 And get you
say on your tigo that All the languages
are spoken here Yes sir,-by the
travellers"
A group Of men were standing 10 front
OF saloon, when :. squaw, leading pap.
oose, came along One of the party
hailed the sqaa~ wiih Hello. Sally
whose baby is ,hat2' The daughter OF
the forest stoppcd and eyed the ques-
tioner then pointing her finger at him
said, earnestly; Him your papoose."
There was considerable laughing, but
not at the squaw -Aastin (Nev.) Re.
ueWe,
Two pretty acuossrs ia French the.
ater, born within three months of each
other get 10 discussing their age, each,
as matter Of course, claiming to be
younger Than the other. Compliments
are exchanged and 6sticuHs are immi.
neni, when one says to tho other, with a
profound courtesy; My love, l with.
draw all that have said. Alas, have