The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-06-23
WHAT THE WITS say.

The Marble mantel falls on Hurlbert.--
N. Y. Graphic.
Of all the various methods proposed for
the reduction of postage, none arc more
practical than this: Get married. -Rey-
nolds Herald.
He who leaves but one cat to grow,
where two cats grew before, is public
benefactor, and deserves the blessings of
the community.-Rome Sentinel.
There is a budding genius in Danbury,
Conn.,, SO romantic and fastidious that he
can't write poetry in the same room with a
woman in red flannel petticoat.
Ign Argus.
Slices of cucumber rubbed on the skin
have fine effect on the complexion. Taken
internally they make a man feel like a
circus actor fresh from Moody and Sankey.
IN. Y. Herald.
Among the novelties at Baron PALMS
funeral was dish of fire. "Poor Baron, :"
muttered an anti -Theosophic spectator,
"they're making it warm for him at both
ends of the line. ."-Brooklyn Argus
The Presidents withdrawal Of the nomi-
nation of Writ Sykes as Consul to Florence
was owing to Olive Logan's carelessness
in mis-stating the number of flounces on
Mrs. Grants last spring silk.-Brooklyn
Argus.
At the show the other evening a gentle
man sarcastically asked man standing in
front of him if he was aware that he was
not transparent, and the latter said that he
ought to be for he had pain in his stom-
ach.-Norwich Bulletin.
George Eliot says: GA difference of
taste in jokes is great strain on the
affections" This explains the antipathy
between Eli Perkins and Mark Twain, the
latter's taste being mostly for original
jokes.
1t is said that George Washington did
not know what fear was. True enough
but he never passed along the platform of
railroad depot while jeremiah S. Black
was squirting tobacco juice out of the car
window. .-Ggobe-Democrat.
Several persons who were in the Lewis
House yesterday we're surprised to see a
stranger who sat near the window, sud-
denly lay aside his paper, haul up his
breeches, cut tooth pick off from wood
en- leg, and then quie tly resume his reading.
| -Fuztos Times.
"I wish might die," sighed middle
aged maiden, as she hung like "a limp
bolster out of the third story front window
on Sunday afternoon, and espied man
whom she had once coquettishly rejected,
placidly propelling an eighteen-dollar baby
cart.-BrooGlyn argus.
The skin of one average-sized corner
loafer will make three pair of boots, and a
poor man with shotgun could get leather
enough to last him all his life, and earn
the gratitude of the community besides, by
| coasting around the corner of James and
Dominick streets any sunshiny forenoon.
Rome Sentinel.
When the old bell was taken down from
the South Church in Boston the other day
the papers say that the Oldest inhabitant
of the city shed tears. Now what differ
ence one little letter makes. The Oldest
belle in Boston might tumble and die
without tear being shed for her.-NeD
buryport Herald,
"Vell, sare," said Centennial restanr:
ant keeper, Struggling his shoulders when
| a customer from Arkansas demurred tc
paying one dollar for a cup of coffee and a
roll, "ze price he may luke large, zat
admete but, zen, sare, reflec Eat you nafel
hafe annozer shance like zese for une hun
dret year. " Y. Commercial Advertiser
| A Westerly man put one of his shoulders
out of joint while trying to "meet his
fingers around tree. This should be &
warning to young men not to try and tam
per with the great principals of eterna
fitness which provide summer evenings
and front doorsteps and an article that the.
can get their arms around without straining
--NorwicA Bulletin.