Weekly Trinity journal., 1876-11-11
Weayerville, November II, 1876.
[ Written for the TRNIrY JoURNAL
A BROKEN MATCH.

A BROKEN MATCH.
lie was a tall, angular man, and the
broad brim of his hat fell over his face
back his head at the immi nent danger of
breaking his neck whenever he looked
at you. HIS team stood at the gate un-
hitched, ready to start rs soon as the la
dies he was gallanting should signify
their desire to leave. For although the
frosts of some sixty winters had whitoned
his locks, the Doctor yet retained that
spirit of chlvalric devotion TO the fair
sex which had characterized the days OF
was acting as the escort Of two of Grid
ley's fair daughters, one a blooming mat
ron--the other maiden lady of certain
age who was teaching the young idea OF
n neighhoring town, and toward whom
the aged disciple of Esculapius was be
leved to have decided leaning.
]
ion of profound sorrow, that neither the
ladies have named nor those they had
come to visit manifested to the Doctor
that degree OF gratitude which his devo
/ ton and gallantry to the sex should have
| inspired. For aS all men have their idi
osyncracies and Weaknesses, our Escula
plan hero was not exempt from the com
mon lot Of humanity. In fact, he wa
tie character of the place and when he is
called upon to pay the great debt Of Ma
ture no one will be more missed than he
| But he loves to ''Dlow his horn," and The
sound of his voice relating his wonderful
exploits in medicine and otherwise sound,
very PLEASANTLY upon hs own auricu
lar organs. Therefore when the ladies
above named proceeded to draw hin
out, i" partly for their own and partly fol
our amusement, the good Doctor fcl
readily into the trap and di>coursed elo
quently Of hi. feats of proves.
"Ifany Of your children get the scare
fever, send for me-" said the Doctor
"I'il engage to not lose one case out of {
hundred. F."
But won't you toll us what to do il
case we can't get you ?" chimed in ON,
Of the ladies.
"Oh, I'll come fast enough, but a
you want it here's my receipt: Take
some old bacon-I've got some nov
/ ] We had these seven years-and whcr
the fever comes on rub the child on th'
breast and arms, with II piece about +
half-inch thick on the rind. Keep rub
bin till the skin won't take any mon
grease and the case is cured. That's m!
remedy. Then thsr's the hiccups. I'v
heard Of folks dying with hiccups they
wouldn't do it if | was round, You jus
stand up, raise your arms above you
head and press the thumbs together
See what an effect that has on the system
That'l cure hiccups."
And salt in the shoes" put in anoth
| er.
"Wcll you just try putting salt in YOU
shoes" rctorted the Doctor. you'd be
so fat in n month if yer old man wa,
away when he come back he wouldn'
know yer"
As the lady in question looked rs If sh,
would be improved by the addition Of 4
few pounds Of flesh, Of course we Joined
in the Doctors recommendation. BY thi.
time the conversation was ready TO 60 in.
to the channel the ladies desired.
"I'm summit of an advocate Of wo
man rights y" said the Doctor, in response
TO question "if hadn't been sposo
] should be married to- day leastwse tht
gals livin' yet, back in the States. w
was engaged. When thought it sbou
time to draw the thing 70 a close ! aXcc
her to name the day. Sic says "Yot
name it." But | says to her, It's for 2
man to AK a woman the leading question
and if she says yes, the futor arrange
ments lelong to her. Well, she says
! Ou nhile II, anu SoN ~ J'u
name it. Thar we stopped, for she was
grit and so was /. My folks was down
on the match, you see the gal was Irish
and they didn't want our family mixed
up with any Of that breed. You'd ortel
seen her when she heard that. She was
pretty good sizcd-though nothing ike
the woman cured Of dropsy in Marys-
Vile. | was at the hotel thar and seed
the landlady, and says to the cham bcr-
maid Mrs. Smith has got the dropsy.'
Yes And she's got it bad, to- You
bet she has We'll, ! can cure her.
Il guess not, said she. Yes l can, and
| want you to tell her so.' Well she
went off larfn' for all the big doctors OF
Marysvlle and San Francisco had tried
to cure her and she only got wuss. We'll,
the landlady came in, and she says to
me, You think you can cure me, do
you p I know cam And what will
/ it cost me p Not darn cent, madam,
says |, and off goes. So | went TO the
drug store and bought two bits wuth OF
turpentinc and told her how to take il,