The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-10-20
FACTS AND FUN.

NO "S1de-SnOWS" VIII ne permlJDeu aI
the Paris Exhibition of 1873
| A new version-"Yo ou who have hats to
pay, prepare to pay them now."
| When is a candle like tombstone?
When it is put up for late husband.
| A. Minnesota weather.sage says it
will be too cold to snow much this
winter.
Temple Bar, which has borne witness
to SO many executions, will soon have
no head of Its own.
II you lived.in Chicago you could have
your name ON your Tom and Jerry mug
at your favorite saloon.
"Condensed novels are books for lazy
people," We should think diluted nov
els would suit them better.
Nine milkmen were fined in New
York Court the other day for milking
the COW "with the iron tall"
Walt. Whitman is writing a poem to
tom Paine. Happily for Tom, he is
dead and won't have to read it.
Chatham, s. c., boasts of a man one
hundred and nineteen years old, and OF
a woman one hundred and six!
Platforms are trail structures upon
which politicians maintain a transient
elevation until-after the election.
A MeXican's education generally in
cludes reading, writing, arithmetic,
norsemanship and pronunciamentos.
There is a doorkeeper in an Edinburgh
Itheater so very strict that he won't ad-
NIT an argument unless it has ticket.
A St. Louis bartender has parrot
that screams every time customer
comes in for drink, "Here's to Tllden."
Grass that will make men and horses
drunk grows in both Asia and Africa.
Hence, perhaps, the vulgar "taklng
: IMP"
} Shakspearian saying: ''The man that
hath no music in his sole" is wretch
who would not hesitate to buy creak-
ing boot.
When General Burnside is at home in
Q Rhode Island the shadow OF his side
t whiskers trespasses upon Massachu-
> setts and Connecticut.
, Ounces and persimmons are good
things to get persons mouth lhUo
+ proper pucker for whistling. We recon-
e mend them to ambitious girls.
Somehow or other there is Silent sat-
n lisiaction in hearing three or four nun
dred people repeat the remark: "WeA,
: | never saw such fall before"
J. You may tell a woman that her elegant
v new dress "agrees with" her complex
= ion, but under no circumstances tell her
lthat her lace becomes her dress.
Glorious autumn Glorious rain twice
lper day! Glorious mudl Glorious colo
in the head! Glory all around, with Q
=, wreath of maple leaves to crown her!
Nobody seems to understand how Blue
, IJeans was elected, but there's strong
i probability that it so happened because
!, he got more votes than the other fellow
n Some of our hotel proprletors will
= make a comfortable profit from The SAT-
), OF hay seed, when they come to clean W
), their hotels about the 10Th of next month
y Danbury News: This is an age of sud
e den changes. The girl who Is picking
1t up autumn leaves this fall may be pick
ing up Goldfish year hence, for short
o haired man with Wart.
d "Its all for the BEST" remarked
d Blinks, with a sigh, as he paid lor thu
a hat he mad lost. May" interposed tn
o lucky man, '"tis ali for the better.'
u Bnnks accepted the amendment.
y y A young lady in Vermont, who wa
n born back in the tillibusterlng times, i
~ named Cuba Independence. A Miss, th
~ date OF whose birth is apparent, is Anne
;. Gettysburg.
it William Winter pronounces WallacR
10 new play, "Forbidden Fruit" to be "a
tainted as close tap-room in the earl.
u morning." Now how should he know
D. anything about a tap-room in the earl.
l. morningW That's the question.
e When you see young man with ney
u plug tile, IL white necktie, and shaw
u on his arm, promenading with tri
u umphant-looking girl wearing orang
- blossoms in her hat, you can make u
Ill min I'm ha1S a Ia
- The Detroit Free Press says: W
NJ don't want TO say word against East
ern folks, but when a waiter at De
troit hotel brings on dessert of grape
for a New England traveller he feel
compelled to whisper, Don't swalloN
the hides"
The Philadelphia correspondent {
the Chicago journal says: The ma
m who attempts to describe the EXhib
Id tion, even in volume the size OF Wei
" ster's Unabridged Dictionary, will max
,r a signal failure of it. The thing can nc
al be done. AS well attempt to build
" railway to the skies, or take the Sc
Dr. serpent by the tail aud snap his hea
l. off.
p: Butter is very high just now, and Spill
ia kins' landlady remarked to that gentle
III man, with emphasis, this morning, as
W. was preparing pleCe VI uleduS VI
~ Spillkins, that air is Goshing butter
y and will make you sick il you spread
's too thick. 1t costs forty cents pound.
Spillkins says that many is the time sh
has snatched him from the tomb by he
It carelulness.-[oan Antonio Herald.
A lad named Lewis Hirshield, {
Easton, Pa, after Witnessing ROPE
walkers leats, undertook to get up a
exhibition on his own hook. He tie
- one end of the rope to the door knob an
at the other to the knob of the kitchen CUP
es board. Then he got on the rope and tn
cupboard topped over, and few m,
OF ments later the young gymnast migl
ny have been seen crawling from beneat
is the ruins of SIS worth of crockery an
glassware. He wasn't hurt much unit
as after his mother got through using IL
~ ~ balance-pole.
w When Chicago girl received a dil
ra patch from Wisconsin announcing thu
~. her lover was going off with consuml
iii ton she telegraphed to mis- friend: "Ha
/ poor Jeffrey kept up his life insurance
ut The friend telegraphed back: "PolIc