The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-08-17
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

= Never throw clouds OF sorrow into
the life of one you really love.
= The person who would rob a parent
of the love of a child will surely die in
sorrow.
CHARLES Lamb, when speaking Of
one of. his rides on horseback, remarked
that Gall at once his horse stopped, but
he kept right on" =,
= Have you much fish in your bag p"
asked a person of fisherman. eyes,
there's good eel in it," was the rather
Henry Watterson POLITICALLY says
that ice is water "gone to Sleep" 1t has
every opportunity of going to sleep while
Henry Watterson is around.
- Mrs. Carr of Quebec, hanged her
self with her false hair last week. The
coroner's verdict was that the Carr was
demolished by misplaced "switch."
-"You are a nuisance e-Tll commit
you," said an offended judge to a noisy
person in court. "You have no right to
commit nuisance" said the offender.
"Mrs. Spinks," observed a boarder
to his landlady, "the equal adjustment of
this establishment might be more safely
secured if there was less hair in the hash
and more in the mattresses"
= IF you cannot be great river, bear
ing great vessels of blessings to the
world, you can be little spring by the
dusty wayside of life, singing merrily all
day and night, and giving a cup of cold
water to every weary, thirsty ono who
passes by.
-"Did she not return your love ?" in
quired sympathizing friend Of young
man who intimated that he had had
some difficulty with his sweetheart
"Yes, she returned it, and that is exactly
what the trouble is. She said she didn't
want it."
- Sulphate of iron, five grains; pep
permint water, eleven drachms; spirit of
nutmeg, one drachm; one table spoonful
taken twice day is cure for intempe-
rance. This preparation acts as stimu-
liant and tonic, and supplies the place of
the accustomed liquor.
A young clergyman, modest almost
to bashfulness, was once asked by q coun-
try doctor of different creed, in q pub
Lie and crowded assembly, and in a tone
of voice sufficient to catch the attention
of the entire company, "How happened
it that the patriarchs lived to such ex-
treme old age?" To which question the
clergyman replied, Perhaps they took
no physic."
- An Eastern paper having had con-
siderable to say about raising chickens
by hand" the Galveston News responds: {:
"Such information is not needed at the
South. The whole colored population
know how to do it, and an enterprising
freedman can raise more pullets in sin
gle night, on his way home from prayer
meeting, than that Eastern editor could
raise in year with all his science"
- Foolish spending is the father of
poverty. Do not be ashamed to work.
Work for the best wages you can get, but
work for half price rather than be idle.
Be your own master, and do not let fash
ion or society swallow up your individu-
ality--hat, coat and boots. Compel your
selfish body to spare something for profits
saved. Be stingy to your necessities.
See that you are proud, and let your
pride be of the right kind. Be too proud
to be lazy.
- The business of ostrich raising for
the sake of the feathers has reached con-
siderable proportions in South Africa.
There are now 10000 of these birds kept
on the ostrich farms at the Cape of Good
Hope. On comparing the average tcm-
perature of Southern California and
Southern Africa, no difference is found,
while there is but very little difference
between the extremes of temperature OF
the two places. AS the feathers are
worth $400 pound, and each bird pro-
duces $3.50 worth every year, some of the
enterprising Californians are suggesting
the introduction of the business of rails
ing ostriches into the southern portion of
their State.
-"I give and beoueath unto Mary,
my wife, the sum O. one hunder' pounds
q year." said an old farmer. "1s that
written down, master?" eyes" replied
the lawyer, "but she is not old; she may
marry again. Won't you make a change
in that case? Most people do" GAY,
do they?" said the farmer. "Well, write
again: give and bequeath unto her the
sum of two hunder' pounds a year
Thatll do, won'tit, master ?" "Why, it's
lust double the sum she would have ifshe
remained unmarried" said the lawyer
''it's generally the other way-the legacy
is lessened if the widow marries again.
cay" said the farmer, "but him as gets
her'll deserve it,"