The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-04-12
The Morristown Gazette.
BAsCUM TRIUMPHANT.
He Enjoys the Luxury of New
Undertaking.

YOU announcing my conviction and con-
version to the cause of the ladies of our
= dear country, and TO their fashions,
styles, and ways, generally, l have had
much to encourage me; but, like all new
converts. | have had to contend with
some things that were rather discourag-
ing; but have wearied through with
them, and feel now that l am better pre-
pared than ever to go forward, and to
battle for the good cause l have es-
poused.
Tie one thing which rather discour
aged me was seeing it annouced In one
of the public journals of the country
that the wife of Postmaster had been
detected in opening letters and stealing
money therefrom-
The devil (prObably) at once made me
believe that that woman was doing
wrong. was made to believe, for the
time being, that probably that woman,
the wife of government official, was
stealing money that some poor laboring
man had sent to his wife and babes, or
perchance, that some fatherless boy had
left his dear mother to seek employment,
and had forwarded few dollars back to
his mother for the support of herself and
his little brothers and sisters, and that
this heartless woman was robbing them
OF this harl-earned money in order to
decorate her roguish person.
Oh, know it was very wicked of me,
but soon saw the point, and banished
the hateful thoughts from my mind.
You know, Cousin John, that the pay
Of Postmasters, as a general thing, is not
sufficient to adorn the good wife Of
Federal office-holder in all the gew-gaws
and hip-faps of the present day. Then,
the stump-shOt, or, as some vulgarly call
it, the stealage is quite limited, and some
men are so tarnal mean that they will
not furnish their wives with half the
fantasticles required to make them ap-
pear respectable at a party, or even on
shopping expedition.
The time is now at hand when the wO-
men have got to look after themselves,
and in many instances their families too.
And, by the way, they are about the
best managers in the whole country.
They can make more money, and in less
time, especially when aparty is in an
ticipation, than any man can make.
They trade with more real judgment
than a man Look at that little tTansac-
tion of Mrs. Relknap's. Thousands of
dollars made in the twinkling of an eye!
Now, not one man out of one hundred
lauf trade
pecially if he had been drunk, and if he
had, he would more than likely have
told it. Not so with Mrs. Belknap. Her
head was too level for that.
tell you, Cousin John, we've got the
heels Of them; I mean the men-the
drinking men-those who led despotic
sway DER this land of ouTs for so long
time. We've got them down, and now
stand head. But the wife of n Postmas-
ter who has to earn her fine equipage,
by pilfering money from letters, has a
hard time of it. There should be more
PendIetOn's in the country. But now,
small as ii looks, this little letter busi-
ness beats nothing all hollow. Our
women must dress, we must keep up
with all the latest styles aud fashions. |
Many OF them are very ugly, and it re-
quires a great deal of dressing to make
them noticeable; and how are they to
get their dressing? No lady is going to
work for her dressing these days. there
are too many other ways to accumulate 1
money and dressing than to work for it. !
But, by some means that letter stealing |
weighs heavy on my mind. l know that |
poor dear lady had hard time of get |
ting Us much as she wanted. But then
she did just what was right, and no 10y |
al court will ever convict her for it.
Yes, Cousin John, am a great deal
happier in my new undertaking than ]
ever expected to be. This is grand
success, and We expect to be able to re-
cord more infamous crimes during the
present year, than whisky has done in
the last ten years. The start we have
history, and it is to be hoped that all
will perform their duty faithfully, and
that VIC may be able to keep it mp dur
ing entire year. Each day gives me new
courage, and am now able to say, in
behalf Of the good women of this coun-
try, to whisky and whisky y-drinkers ''get
thee behind me-" The day is ours, and
it does me good to know that am on
the winning side.
We expect to hold grand exhibition
during the present summer, at some
convenient point, and give a valuable
premium TO the finest dressed lady on
illegally procured dressing, that is 10
say, on dressing not paid for, or on
dresses beautifully made and the milli-
ner not paid for the making, or on fine
dressing paid for with the money Of
others, with no intention of ever paying
back, etc, etc. BAsCUM.