Litchfield enquirer., 1876-05-25

E Gfe6nb3ckS may come to pa, put the rrstlof the family will take them from s pr,t'u s4igt tsa4lj ;I9td# 19gaaE gHafzaz ts, 5. A very greedy boy-One who recent- ly took the measles frQn his little sister. s.gs.t'B s.'as.s.
 Grusty says that the list of marriages in the newspapers ought to be put under the head of "Ring Frauds"
 T would not, for any money" says Jean Paul Richter, "have any money in my youth" That's the way we feel. We would much rather have it now.
 Spilkins says that when the crisis comes in Herzegovina, he hopes the Karageorgovitches, the Bescovitches, and all the other itches will be ready to come up to the scratch.
 Under the new law in Sweden no pei son who has had enough liquor can get any more. Enough" in Sweden means when a man begins to brag that his coun- try can lick any nation on earth.
 "Ah! doctor, I'm out again-let me thank you, my dear fellow.' Doctor "But nonsense, I never came to see you while you were ill.," "Well, that's why Pm thanking you."
 "What is your business, sir?' asked the Court, in sharp voice. "A conchologist." What's that?' said the Judge. T opens clams," was the explanation he gave.
 Brother, why don't you ask the stran- ger to prayY,, Because" reprovingly ob- served the deacon, "this aint no place for practical jokes. That mans the presi- dent of gas company"
 At the show the other evening a gen. tleman sarcastically asked man stand ing up in front of him if he was aware that he was opaque. The other denied the allegations; he said he was not opa- que-his name was OBrien. r. q make it point madam, to study my own mind" said agentleman to a lady who had exhibited some surprise at an opin- ion he had expressed. 'Indeed," she re- piled, "l didn't suppose you understood the use of the microscope"
 An Illinois farmer has applied to the authorities for permission to re-chriSten his eldest child, whose name is A. T. Stewart Murphy, by calling him Wander bilt Murphy. Stewart forgot him in his will.
 At little gathering the other even- ing young man asked lady whether, if his small brother was a lad, he was not ladder, and she kindly said she thought he must be, she could see through him so easily. It is pleasant to be a young man.
 A colored preacher down South took for his text the words: 'Though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my feshI shall see God" which he divided into three parts, as follows: First, skin ,l,oA q ! ! what the man seen after he was eaten up."
 Photographers are guilty of sad bluns ders sometimes. The Prince of Vale lately telegraphed from India for "Five manufacturer-st -sthree with drawers two without" The message reached London: "Five milliners here with drawers, two without"
 Trained petticoats are said to be come ing into fashion this season. We never saw one, but presume they will be trained to pick up apple cores and cigar stump of the sidewalk, and to hang over the back of chair at night. It does not seem as if you could train petticoat to climb tree, still one may be made to put on agood many frills.
 Fond mother (to old gentleman to whom her son is apprenticedD "I am sor- rry to say sir, that Harry won't be able to come to work for some little time, The doctor says that he has got brain fever" Old gentleman-"Yhen the doc- tor is a- fool, madam. for the boy hasn't got any more brains than-than a donkey, maam."
 Young Grogerson got a little mixed aF Ffan 4 %hnT other evening, and was heard to remark to brother swell: "Zis Cillydelphia Penitential s big thing, but they ought to Bell.old Shootknap fore it comes off; s,Andrew Jackson said f any man flags down the American hauls, spot him on the shoot"
 From Punch Scene on an English railway train:- No. l. Rather remarka- ble, ain't it sir? But lave you never mo- ticed as mostly all the places on this line begins with 'HY" No. 2. "Aw- beg your pardon" No. l. Look at 'em. 'Ampstead, Ighgate, 'Ackney, 'Omerton, 'Endon, Arrow, 'Olloway and 'Ornsey."
 The growing supernuity of Brigadiers in the army recalls what O'Connell said to British officer when he was being cross-examined. "Well, soldier" said the Irish barriSter. '1 am no soldier; I am an offcer,' was the indignant interruption of the irate Briton. "Well," said OtCon- nell; well. officer, who is no sol dier-" '.
 An exchange remarks that "one draw back to having money is that everybody wants to know what you are going to do with it." We have observed this ourself; they usually want to know about the first of the month, and have an unpleasant way of coming round and sitting on your front steps mornings if you don't tell them. When Chief Justice Holt, of England. who had been somewhat of a graceless scampin his youth, recognized an old ac- quaintance i'll prisoner brought before him, he cautiously questioned him as to what had become of his old comrades. He supposed that he was not recognized by the prisoner, but the reply convinced him to the contrary, 'They are all hanged my lord, except you and l."
 Two neighbors had long and en- venomed litigation about small spring, which they both claimed. The Judge, wearied out with the case, at last said: "What is the use of making so much fuss about little water?' "Your Honor will see the use of it." replied one of the lawyers, ''when l inform you that the parties are both milkmen"
 The boys of Detroit seem to be going down hill in their morals of late. Sun day one of the legion, who has always been noted for his respectful demeanor to- ward the great public observed an old citizen yawning and gaping on street corner, and said to him:-"Better not open your mouth too wide" "Why?' was the surprised query There's law agin opening a saloon on Sunday!"s con- tiGued the sinful child as he slid for the middle of the street. FrehGnge. ...t.