, 1876-06-02

live, l cannot throw away the life God
has given me.
"J,tly SM, 1S72.-Dear journal, how
long you have been neglected, but not
forgotten. Ten long years. 1 am barely
twenty five, and yet there are threads Of
silver in my hair. Five years lived a
widow, mourning thousand times more
than should, had known the man 1
all but worshipped filed an honorable
grave. l had many hard struggle to
win my daily bread, but 1 did earn it
honestly. For the last five years have
been the loved and honored wife of a
man kind and true, and although he is
many years my senior, we have been
very happy together. And what a com
| fort are our two lovely babes. How
thankful 1 ought to be for so many
blessings, after passing through such
deep trouble, too. Soft, plump little
hand, pat my face, and dear musical lit
tie voices call me fondly mama; and yet
have my dark days; days when neither
much, and this day seems to be the very
worst since Harry, my first born, was
laid in my arms. feel presentiment
of evil hanging over me all this day.
"July 15h.-One week only since 1
penned the last lines upon your pages,
and yet methinks the events Of a whole
| lifetime were crowded into those six
awful days. said that 1 felt present
iment of evil. 1 felt worse and worse,
until near sunset, by which time was
near demented. I shut myself up in
our little parlor and would not open the
door to either husband or children. 1
had been seated few moments near the
window which opened on the garden
and near the walk in front of the house,
when saw bent form coming slowly
up the path. My heart stood still in my
bosom. l detected likeness in him to
my former husband. 1 could not have
moved to save my life. He came nearer,
-nearer-is close to the window-now
raises his eyes to mine-One burning
glance from those familiar orbs, and
he is unconscious. 1t takes me but a
moment to open the door and reach his
side-all the old love yelling up within
my heart God forgive mel For mo-
ment forgot my children, the father of
my children, and even my God. sat
holding his head on my bosom, praying
for his life, / know not how long, for
took no note of time. The first recol-
lection have was of my present hus-
band asking who the stranger was, and
/ replied, without taking my eyes from
the face lying so white and still This
is my darling husbandl' Marah,' he
said, in kind but reproachful tones. 1
looked up and saw him looking kindly
L. Ql1s-rw iii,
tears. Then said, Forgive me, for /
know not what say Then he spoke
gravely and tenderly, saying, We must
get him into the house and try to revive
him, and in order to do so, we must
summon one of the hired men. And,
Marah, he added, for the sake of our
dear little ones, you must keep quiet
and betray nothing. If he survives,
then it viii be time enough to arrange
things as best we may. Then, after
summoning one of the men, he helped
very tenderly to carry him into the house
and deposit him on the bed, and then
began telling the man what doctor to
call, when the sick man opened his eyes
and whispered to me, saying, Please
do not send for anyone; my last hour
has come, aad wish you to listen every
moment that am able TO speak. / want
you to hear it, too, sir; l married this
woman ten years ago, and God knows
how dearly 1 loved her. She was
lovely girl, and no wooded lake was ever
more pure than her soul. 1 must go
back five years, before l met Marah. At
that time was married to a woman who,
think, must have been possessed Of q
devil. She had such terrible temper
that our lives were curse. After four
years Of misery we separated. She raved
like mad-woman, called down curses
upon my head, and swore to have re-
Venge. She had it, too. About six
months before married Marah, l saw
q notice of her death in paper. Poor
duped fool, that was her revenge. She
had the false notice inserted. l and
Marah had been married but q few
months when 1 received q threatening
letter from her. From that time on
received these letters frequently, and
my life was cursed with the fear that my
innocent darling would be disgraced by
nv misfortune. One day, when / was
in a little village not far from where we
were stopping, 1 found that she was
surely coming to us, and my only way
was to meet and mislead her, "A plan !
put into execution Immediately. It
seemed to me that the devil was in league
with her, for she followed me for weeks,
and 1 did not dare TO write even note
to my little girl, fearing she would in
tercept it. She worked herself up to
such pitch, finally, that she burst a
blood vessel and that ended her miser-
able life. I hastened back 10 my darl-
ing. To my horror, she was gone, and
left no trace behind. Such is my story,
and / have sought for you ten long