Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-06-16
SENSE i AND : NONSENSE. No

ObNOb AMI NVNGbNDLe
STRANGE to say, nobody has yet como
out with the "Black Hills Hair Restora.
tive"
TEN men are taking ore from the silver
mines at Hartland, W., and they say It is
rich.
Do ALL the good you can in the world,
and make as little noise about ii as posi-
bic.
A swELTERING Joker says he does not
object to creamation or Ice narration for
himself
TIE water in Salt Lake Valley is higher
than il has ever been since the settlement
fot the Territory. sra &c
IF we bad no faults ourselves, we should
not have SO much pleasure in discovering
the faults of Others.
Isn't IT true that while some men work
all the time, the lives of others are con-
tinual vacations2
REMARK by the Danbury Eeios "Al lie
is like a brush heap on fire; 1t is easier to
let it burn out than try to extinguish it,"
SAN FRANCISCO is preparing for her
grand celebration Of the Centennial Fourth
Of July, the exercises TO last through fiYe
days.
Miss LOUISA r. TAKE, of Aberdeen, :
Scotland, is said to weigh 400 pounds.
Printers regard her as the " fattest Take"
they ever heard Of
A CALIFoRNGA officer shot into the
ground to scare boy, and the bullet
Killed an old lady a block distant. Then
the 10y didn't chuckle bit.
WASHINGTON TERRIToRY issues call
for fifty thousand girls to come out there
right away. The girl who wants to marry
should get her bonnet on.
"THE best route to the Black Hills"
observes the Louisville COurier-J0urhdi,
Is of much less Importance to miners
than the best route out Of them"
IL the Sultan of Turkey had even taken
off his coat and remarked: "Come on,
McDuff," Americans would have had
some sympathy for him.-Detro@ Free
Press.
ALL Europe is just now in the fix of
the boy who goes to bed expecting a
licking in the morning 1t would be bet
Ter for them TO have war right away if
it's coming, and then take rest.
IT is rumored that the 1,200 wives of
the late Sultan of Turkey are widow.
"Oh, We tearsr Alas, that in one suicidal
frenzy the great AbaHnl AZiz should ghks1p
such corner on Grape and bonnet weetlSl
IT is pleasant to recline under the
spreading bOughs of an apple-orchard, on
summers evening, and let the imagina-
ton rove over the vast superticies of stom-
achs that will ache when the green fruit
comes into market.
CExTRAL PENNSYLVANIA has potato
bugs, and as the worthy husbandman in
drab wanders about his garden he re-
marks ieelingly to his wife: Verify,
Martha, the spirit almost moves me TO
eject with vehenence sundry of the quaint
phrases common with the lost ones of the
worlds people"
A POET singeth:
In antique times, we arc In school-books told,
Whatever Midas touched was turned to gold.
IN modern mercenary times like these,
Men touched with gold are changed to what You
please.
HOTEL servants in Philadelphia are not
getting the enormous fees from foreigners
that they expected. A foreigner gives
shilling, franc or groschen where an
American gives fifty cents or dollar
Europeans tip" more than we do, but
their 'tips" are smaller than the Ameri-
can ttip" by about sixty per cent.
THE fast train arrived in San Francisco
several hours ahead of time, and brought
its passengers through in a murdcrous
frame of mind. They were beaten and
pounded to a jelly, buried in mountains
of dust, deprived of sleep, jeered at by the
unsympathizing world And they imag-
ined they were going TO have a jolly time!
That is what they went out for to have.
COMMENTING on the statement of the
Boston Post that Frost's execution was
conducted with an impressiveness and
order that consortcd with the deep
sOlemnity of the OCCASION" the Philadel-
| phia Times saws: When Massachusetts
does hang a man she does it thoroughly
and tearing his head from his shoulders
| is considered impressive"
The hammer with which the murderer
Piper killed Mary lyman is carefully
| preserved in Boston as " an illustration of
the compact material inorganism which
necessarily becomes an irresponsible agent
| in the transmission of eliminating
force on occasions when the mysteriouSly
| desirable condition of mental equipoise
departs, and a morbid idiosyncrasy in
| duces the seemingly ineXcusable perpe-
tration of bloody deeds"
He was only little four -year-old who
pulled the door-bell of lady on State
street last Saturday, and upon her answer
| ing the call the innocent remarked
"Please, maam, but l coined to tell you
some fellows are stealing your lilies. -
| Somewhat like Tennyson's Maud this in.
formation caused her into the garden to
go, where she surprised these felOnious
| florists and caused them 70 over the fence
hurry. In token of her thankfulness 10
the juvenile who informed, large bunch
OF the purple plumes were presented,
while he, Oh rejoining his incensed COM
radcs with that same smile called child
like and bland, merely remarked, "lf ]
was too little TO climb, | wasn't too Ii tic
to tell on you. u."-DoyieStot0a (Pa.) Iate!i-
| gelc6r.
THAT season has arrived when the thin
man may rejoice in his tenuily. His
fragile eXility no longer suffers by con.
trast with the broad, fat man, who wal
| dies and broils and broils and waddles
through the tortuous summer, a burden
to himself and an object of pity TO all III:
less expansive fellow beings. rhe person
| of physical insigniicance, as the cooling
zephyrs play through his skeleton, thanks
his stars that he is as he is, and his serenity
and contentment as he proceeds 10 hi;
daily haunts are pleasing TO behold. HC
pays out nothing for thermometers, ant
his laundry bills do not oppIess him. Hi
pipe-stem legs are joys to him, and hi
hatchet face looks clean and cool. Happy
is the truly thin man in these days be TN
| mercury ever so near the top and thu