Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1876-12-16
simon stringer,s Religion.

SoutiInent. OH more ludu one OCCd-
sion he had mortified his wife and
daughters by hustling them out OF
religious meetings when they had be-
gun to show signs of emotion. lie
said he didn't believe in s'miracker-
lous conversions" and that people
who cried and yelled over getting re-
ligion, "wasn't gettin' it by burned
sight" He believed that the geliu-
ine article was soothing and calm
ing, and not exciting in its influence.
Once the Campbelites held pro-
trac ed meeting in his neighborhood,
and as it was in some way carried
on without any sudden outburts of
feeling, Simon took kindly to it and
attended regularly. One Sunday
morning he told his wife to lay him
out two suits of clothes.
"Why, Simon," exclaimed she in
her shrill tones, whatever do you
want with two suits of clothes ?n
"That's my busiuess-not yours
he replied gruftly; ''youlay the black
suit ont for me to put on, and wrap
the brown one up in bundle, and
don't ask any fool question.
His wife silently but wonderingly
complied, and Simon donned one
suit, and with the other under his
arm, mounted his horse and rode
away, followed by the anxious eyes
of the big and little Stringers, who
marveled greatly and said one to an
other, Whats dad goin to do with
his t'other clothes ?"
Simon didn't return till supper
time. He took his place at the sup
per table, which was the usual signal
for the family to begin an onslaught
upon the victuals, but on this occa-
sion his voice arrested every arm in
its descent, and for the second time
that day astoDished the Stringers.-
CHANGING around the startled circle,
he thus delivered himself:
81 want it understood that the
head of this household has this day
been baptised. He is follower OF the
meek and lowly Jesus, and the first
eritter at this table that dips into
anything afore a blessin' is asked, III
git snatched baldheaded. Drop yer
eyes, we heathen."
The blessing WAS asked and the
aneal was eaten In silence.
After the chores were done the
Stringers were stringing off to bed,
when the stern voice of the old man
again arrested them, and filled their
minds with grave forebodings as to
what was coming next.
He addressed them as follows:
''Come into this room, every devil
Of you, and flop down on your knees.
1t is my duty as a devout Christian
to have Il family worship, and III
aave it too, and have respectful at
tehtion, or I'll bust some domestic
ties asunder, This mansion must re-
sound with praises to the Most High
or it'll resound with some one gittin'
hi o. a thrashin'-I mean being
severely chastised. The first one
who smokers or makes any onseemly
noise, I'll git up an throw cheer
through him or her as the case may
be. Let us pray"
The prayer was prayed, and never
was there more attentive audience.
This sort of thing continued about
two weeks, and the Stringer family
was Kept in state OF extreme mise
~. The younger members had sew
eral times been severely whipped for
conduct unbecoming a true believer,
aud the Older ones had received many
harsh reprimands for failing to fall
into the new order of things and
comport themselves with due dig
nifty.
Then one morning Simon came in,
with bad limp, a battered milk pail
and the knee of his pants torn. Drop
ping into % chair at the table, he
plunged his knife into the nearest
dish. The children looked up from
The backs of their plates question
iagly, and their mother squeaked.
Why, Simon -
"Shut up and eat. F" he growled and
then in few moments added:
sThis blessin' and prayer business