Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1876-05-06
Hone nsHalners.
BY BISHOP cLAl'E. o. KaoDE ISLAND

By BISHOP cLAHsE, OF KaoDE ISLAND. ar
Some people have different sess of man
ners, which they put 0n and 9f, as they
do their different suits Of clothes They
are all courtesy IN the street, civil and
deferential in their place of business,
bland as . May mcrning in any social
gathering, and an iDtOlerable nuisance
at home. When they enter The door,
down drops the curtain, and darkness
and gloom gather about the household.
Ii is hard to Conceive that il is the same
man that has been bowing and smiling
all day, as you see his frOwn and hear
his grOwl in the donlsstic den every
thing with him seems 70 20 wrong there
meals are badly sefT TeEl-there Is too much
litter lying rOund--the evening paper
has been mislaid--she piano = rattling
fOrever-everybOdy leaves the door open
the children ere IN The way and must
be sent OF to bfEl-the serTauts are eare-
less-there is tao much money sf-Iut ia
the fanlily-=sile tpsniture 4et tskeE
until the patfence Of - 4aulfsy- 3 SAhaus-
ted, and they are glad when the old fel-
low goes of TO the Club or the grocery to
talk scandal with his associates. "Ah -
Won szy, ssI know Just who the people are
that YOU describe, and they live not a
great way Off from me-" Perhaps you
do; but, among the myriad readers of the
Ledger, there may be here and there
one, who may see his own features re-
fieeted in this sketch, and if so, trust
that he may profit by what he reads, and
turn from the error of his ways.
Sometimes the presence of stranger
operates as 4 restraint upon the exhibi
ton of bad manners at home, and some
times not exemplary couples, who are
really quite fond Ofeach other, and would
repudiate the idea of living together on
anything like bad terms, fall into the hab-
it Of indulging in perpetual tiffs before
company, bandyiug words of mutual re-
proach, which, although they may not
mean very much, make the visitor very
uncomfortable, especially if he happens
to be appealed to, as an umpire in the
dispute. They do not abuse each other
rOundly it is more like a discharge of
needles from pop-gun, or a sort Of sand
blast, W hich roughens the surface sadly,
though it may not penetrate far Irrita-
ting hits at the mOther-in-law, or the
poor relation, or the particular FRIEND"
whose attentions have been somewhat
marked; hints of eXtravigance or over
dress, or neglect OF some domestic duty;
soft-toned inquiries, with a sting in the
case; bits of advice, which, if needed at
all, should be reserved for confidential
hours; this viii indicate what l mean.
1t is not well to administer family dis
ciplins before strangers. If child is
properly trained in private he Will be
likely TO be have himself decently in
company, and not otherwise. 1t is not
to be expected that he will put on "cOm-
pany Manners" US his father and mother
may do, when he is allowed to violate the
laws of good breeding in ordinary life
TO bring out the rattan and lay it over
his shoulders in the presence of visitors
would hardly be tolerated, but it is not
uncommon to administer sharp rebuke,
which mOrtifies the child more than we
imagine; or to send him out of the room,
perhaps for some trifling accident which
he could not help; or to call upon him i'm
peratively to stop crying when some dis
appointment makes him burst into tears,
which is very likely to result in convert
ing his sObs into a howl.
II is not well to fall ints the habit of
criticising the food, whether YOU have
guests at the table or not. In hotels and
restaurants, this is common, especially on
the part of those who have little TO eat at
home that Is fit TO be eaten; but, in the
domestic circle, the criticism is under
stood to Be refcctien upon the style of
house keeping, for which the mistress Of
the family is responsible. If You furnish
poor material for the table,syOu cannot
expect to have good food and If good ma
terial is spoiled in cooking, you had bet
ter deal with the artist of your kitchen in
private, or procure q better cook. 1t is
in bad taste to criticise the character of
ones servants freely, especially in the
presence of visitors. The servant ques-
tiOn," as it is called, has of late been
made quite prominent, and there is
great deal to be said on both sides. II Is
probable that the occupants of the kitch-
en- entertain their guests with the frail
ties and follies of their employers, just as
freely as they themselves are cs-tieised in
the upper-rooms of the establ hment.-
1t would bring about 4 bettel state OF
things, in all parts of the house, if, in
stead of the mutual Irritation that is pro-
duced by perpetual fault-finding, EN-
ployers were more ready and better quail
flied to instruct their servants, and they
were more apt and willing to receive in
struction.
1t is in bad taste to tell your guests the
price of this or that thing about the
house, and to dwell at length upon how
much it costs you TO live. This may be
admissible in the case of pictures or
wines, the merits of which no one might
suspect, unless he were told what was
paid for them. 1t does not add TO the
charm of my friends hospitality, to have
the fact pressed upon my attention, that
the hangings which shade the windows,
and the mirrors which reflect my form,
or the carpet that / tread under Iny feet,
coHld never have been procured, except
by one whose resources or credit are in
finitely beyond my own. There are va
riOus other matters, pertaining to what
may be called the minor morals, which
deserve nOtice-such as the selfish appro-
priatiOn TO ones use of the little comforts
and cOnYeniences of the h0uschold-the
easiest lounge, the sunniest corner, the
best fruit at the table-the habit of call
ing upon others for services in order to
save ourselves trcuble-bOrrOwing, or
using without leave, articles of dress or
the toilet which belong TO others-intru-
ding upon the private apartments of the
host or hostess ut unreasonable hours
taking possession of ones study, with the
remark: az presume you can write just
as well while l am setting here;" when
it is perhaps impossible for you to collect
your thoughts or form a sentence-feel-
ing that the visitor is liable at any mo-
ment to break in upon you with some
commonplace remark.
The manner is which old people are
treated in family, is a good test of their
home manners. it is useless TO conceal
the fact that aged persons are apt TO be n
little tiresome, with here and there II
exception. The habits of life and modes
of thought have changed materially since
they were young, and they are not al
WAYS ready to make due allowance for
this. Ny good old grandfather told me,
after he had passed his nineticth year,
that he had no doubt, after a while, peo-
pie would be glad 10 give up the new
tangled railroads and steamboats,, and go
back to the comfortable sailing-vessel
aud stage coach. But it is not n good
si0u Yvhpu the auPieut ppOOip are fkrust
into a corner, and their questions unan-
swered, aud their trite words Of counsel
unheeded We should remember that we
are liable, in process of time, to grow old
ourselves, and as we treat our fathers, 50
we may expect our children to treat us.
High rates on railroads and swindling
charges at Philadelphia hotels bid fair
e..