The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-02-19
Clarke County. Washins-
ton Territory.


lucutto NNii'
Tur man who would like to see yoti-
The blind man.
WuAr is the hest food to eat when You
have n sore tooth? Pullet.
WHAT piece of carpentry becomes
oem rs soon as finished? Agate.
COOP suggestions like crying baby
at n concert-it should he carried out.
AxD now it has been ascertained that
Bret Harte does not wear suspenders'
Why shouldn't old clothes he worn IN
doors? Because they're invariably worn
out
THE names OF eighty-fve towns IN
PENNSYLVANIA end with "burSh OF
"burg."
CIV. SHERMAN calls our war vessels
"cbeese boxes" That ought to make
'em mitey.
"How to make home happy Some
men do it by staying mt home and some
by going away.
Rr careful when lawyer makes mo-
t;on in court. especially if he has an INK
stand in his hand.
Tuprr hotel keepers asked to be prayed
for Mt the Moody and Sankey revival
Gather them inn.
HIGHWAY robbers in Oregon give a VIC
tim hock his watch. if ii Is ont OF repair,
with money enough to have 1t fixed.
EVERY Philadelphia girl with spark
of ambition in her nature expects 10
catch n lord during the Centennial.
"THE browning glory of woman Is her
hair" ouoth the poet The Indians have
the same idea, but they call 1t scalp.
New YORK man having christened
his daughter Glycerine. says IL Will oe
easy to prefix nitro if her temper resem-
bles her mothers.
A MONTREAL paper says that they dld
have three or four days of Summer there
a few mnnths ago, but the women used
'em all up drying clothes.
NEGRO was scalded to death from
boiler explosion, and on his tombstone
they chiselled deeply: "Sacred to the
memory of our steamed friend.
81 STAND upon the soil OF freedom,
cried a stump-Orator. mo, exclaimed
the shoemaker "you stand IN par OF
boots that have never been paid Tor.
Ct WISH Won would pay Il little atten-
ton TO what | am saying. sir, roared Il
LAWYER Mt an exasperating witness. -
am having as little as L can" was the
calm reply.
AT. SrEMaHI. refuses to y 9p&ai@ EN-, tha 1t
tho whole sex.
OBSERVE young father trying to np-
pease bawling baby, and You'll witness
enough ingenuity in ten minutes to
make You think that that man ought to
be an inventor.
ONCE at least in every husbands life
comes dark, rainy days, when his wife
suddenly remembers. rs he is getting
his first nap, that she has . forgotten to
bring i'll the clothes"
A CONTEMPORARY tells his readers
How to lay mp money! But what Il
man wants to know is how to get money.
He can lay it ,lp-or down, eithcr-last
enough without directions.
An old preacher. who had several
calls to take II parish, asked his servant
where he should go. and the servant
said. $50 where there is most sin, sir. !"
The preacher concluded that was good
advice, and went where there was most
money.
WHEN Catherine, the wife of Martin
Luther. was sobbing with inconsolable
grief over the body of their daughter,
the great preacher said, Don't take on
so, wife remember that this is II very
hard world for girls" And it is Il hard
world for them now.
A CLERGYMAN in Il church. on recent
occasion, discovered he had forgotten
his notes. AS it was too late TO send for
them, he told his audience that this
morning he should have to depend upon
the Lord for what he might say, but in
the afternoon he would come better pre-
pared.
ONE of the New York papers recently
gave its readers II homily on matrimony,
and as an incentive to marriage it states
that there never was time in the his
tory of the country when there was so
many charming. frugal. and atlectionate
madcns in the community as there are
now
GooD-HEARTnD.- Yesterday. when Il
vagrant stopped II pedestrian and asked /
for ten cents, the good-hearted man re- (
piled Il live i'll Florida and am /
about ont of money, but il You will I
come down to Jacksonville I'll give you
ten cents in Il minute-yes, I'll give you
fifteen"
A SYDNEY editor has the following
placard posted outside his office =
"'Time is money The editor is not to
be seen; if You do insist. the first five
minutes. II sovereign II quarter of an
hour. four sovereigns: half an hour.