Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1876-01-27
Miscellaneous.

ALWAYS operating for a rise
emetics.
Leap year. Select your victims,
ladies.
"A girl of inbred usefulness-sally
Batus.
The Babeock extinguisher-crook
ed whiskey.
A slow match-a ten years en-
gagement.
Always happy to meat his custom
ers-the butcher.
Halls Journal Of Heath insists
that we should eat onions. have
one?
Hackmen are the best-hearted fel-
= lows in the world. They never see
lone man making his way home at
NIGHT without asking him to ride.
Rread is the staff of life and liquor
the stllts--the former sustaining
man and the latter elevating him for
fall.
A Florida Judge sent his wife TO
iail for stealing. and when she got
out she had him impeached for di-
viding the plunder with her.
The Temperance Alliance thinks
the spirit of '76 is all the Intoxicating
beverage that should be allowed at
the Centennial.
One of Tweed relations says that
he used to be fond of learning verses
from the Bible when a boy, and now
he has committed Exodus.
The average length of Il Minnesota
courtship is five days. Girls are
scarce and the men bnsy, and so they
pop" and marry, and fight, and re-
pent, and divorce.
A tramp arrived in Sussex county,
New Jersey, where the authorities
gave him stones to break before he
had his dinner Then up spake the
tramp and said, "When they ask for
bread will We give them stone"
When two young Cinnamon, now
being educated in a howell factory,
made application the other day for
mission to cut off their pigtails, for
fear of their catching in the machin-
cry, the request had to be first for
warded to the authorities in China.
Lucy Stone writes letter to the
Transcript recalling the historical
fact that Bunker Hill monument was
unfinished till Boston women raised
the money, and that Fanny Ellis
Ter gave the proceeds of an exhibition
for the cap-stone.
A Danbury man wishing to en-
gage several bushels of potatoes
from party in the suburbs, asked a
neighbor what sort of man he was.
"Well," said the conscientious neigh
Dor, 81 don't know much about him,
but / think he would make tip-top
stranger"
A tailor, of melancholic tempera-
ment, was observed recently sitting
cross-legged on the Canada shore
gazing intently at the Horseshoe Fall
with its black cloud Of spray. A re-
porter stole up unobserved, and heard
him mutter, "What place to sponge
coatr'
The most prominent bridge in the
world is the bridge of Mrs. John !
Campbell's nose. She lives in Vir-
ginia, and she has been suing a rail
road company for the last thirteen
years to get damages for r broken
nose. She means to poke her nose
into the case until she get $4,000 in
cash.
A gentleman looking from his store |
window and seeing a lady pass by,
finely dressed, with the exception of
her sleeves being made of different |
material from the waist Of her dress,
exclaimed through sheer ignorance,
"What a pity that woman hadn't
enough in her dress pattern to CON-
plete the suit"
He sat in railway car. His head
was thickly covered with a mass of
red hair Behind him in n seat sat a
man with hardly amy hair on his
head. He said to him, 81 guess you
wasn't around when they dealt out
hair" "Oh, yes, was," replied
bald head, 'but they offered me lot
of red hair and told them to throw
it Unto the ash bin"
One of the Saddest results of the
war is the almost total extinction of
the rice industry in the Cape Fear
district. Immense tracts of rich
swamp land, drained at immense
cost, ditched, banked, and cultivated
with the nicely of a garden, have re-
verted to nature and become hide
ous mOrass. The ruin is so complete
that it seems impossible now that
money or labor can ever again re-
trieve it.
The other evening he came home
with the air of 4 man bent on busi-
ness, and, after throwing off his hat
and coat, deliberately produced
brace of pistols, and clapped them
down on the table. His wife gave a
little shrek, and started toward the
door, but he spoke to her gently, say
ing; Don't be alarmed, by dear.
The gas mans coming to inspect the I
meter tomorrow morning, and / |
thought I'd be prepared
Fresh eggs and plenty of them IN |,