Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-03-17
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
BE honest and 20 slow.


A eANITARY MEAsURE--a medicine glass
CENTENNIAL KISSES one hundred with.
out taking breath.
Our Affections are troubles; other peo-
pies are judgments
A RING which no one will object to-
the ring" of silver dollaf.
FoUR newspapers published in Paris
are devoted exclusively TO hair dressing
A WASHINGTON physician has discover.
cd that love proceeds from the stomach.
Be still, sad heart, be still!
THE Sheridan baby is no great shakes
after all. Same howl-same kicking
same double chin as John Smiths baby
has.
A CHICAGO man is said TO have de-
clined to run for office. There was in
sanity in his family. He probably got
some of it himself.
MEN are hanging themselves all over
the country just now. The weather gives
wives bad colds and sublime gifts in nag.
ging g-St. Louis Republican.
A PROMINENT lawyer at Petersburg,
Va, was go confused recently by the en-
try of his wife into the court room, as a
spectator, that he broke down in his argu.
ment.
THE ChicagQ.LQurndL Of Commerce says
5000 years ag Pun rose to the dignity
of a real estate owner, but by poor man
agement was driven into involuntary
bankruptcy.
MANY a bankrupt rides in his carriage,
while his creditors can't afford TO use
streetcars. Won't somebody write a
book on :" The Art of Failing ?"-Xtl-
tcdukee NelcS.
SENATOR SHARON found half bushel
OF letters awaiting him in Washington,
most of them soliciting pecuniary favors.
One cannot be wealthy without paying for
it in some way.
THERE are girls who will visit a ball
room and waltz sweetly around for ten
miles or more, who will make up an aw-
full face if requested TO step three feet and
hang up dish-cloth
AN exchange remarks that "some peo.
pie are wholly unable to appreciate deli
cate irony" We have observed this our
selves, particularly in the case of wash
women and shirt bosOms.-ChicdgO Times.
THE time hasn't come yet when the
Boston female school-teacher is paid as
much as man, and the said female is
raising row about it. Can woman
pull boys hair as hard as a man?-.De-
troit Free Press
IT seems TO be regarded in the light of
warning by some of the Eastern papers
that the two passengers who lost their
lives by the recent railroad accident at
South Wallingford were the only ones on
the car that had passes. Perhaps it is.
A CAN of nitro -glycerine has been lost
in the water at the entrance TO Port Col
borne harbor, and the owner doesn't care
enough about it TO dive for it., Vessel
owners are little anxious about it, how
ever, and have offered 800 reward for
its recovery.
WESTON has failed to accomplish his
regular failures in England. Otherwise
he has been quite successful. On the
whole, England is just the place for him.
We are convinced that if he only STAYS
there he will eventually be very wealthy.
-Rochester Democrat
TINS is my last CALL" remarked a
flippant young gentleman 10 young lady
who was soon to be married; never
call on married women or unmarried
ladies after they have reached twenty five"
You do well, sir" gravely remarked an
elder lady present. I" AT that age, and
after marriage, they begin to know the
value of time, and do not like to waste it,"
SPEAKING of Rev. Mr.. Shipman's man.
uscript they say that he stopped a boy in
the street, the other day, and asked him
TO read a word in memorandum he gave
him. It's my writing" he said; "a
memorandum OF some things they want at
home, but can't exactly make it out"
1t looks like ounces to me-" said the
boy. All, that reminds me-" said the
dominic, 81 see now; it's cranberries,"
and it was.-BOston Transcript.
A COLLEGE professor at Burlington, VI,
thought to make might capture of riotous
students, each of whom was making his
own night-cap, sure, with the aid of
little sugar. The professor, in his stock
ing feet, stole down corridor until he
suddenly stepped on a jungle of upturned
carpet tacks. He gave himself away in an
exclamation of anguish and rage, and
hopped back to his own Quarters. The
studious silence that prevailed next day
when he limped into the recitation room
was almost painful.
Mr.. JOHN T. THoRNE, Brooklyn AL
derman, has discovered patriotic and
brilliant manner of getting rid of the
heavy taxes and assessments on improved
property He offers two houses for Cen
tennial bonfire, contending that it will
save the city something in fire works, and
as he cannot afford the taxes or to stay in
SO expensive a city as Brooklyn, the ac-
ceptance of his offer would enable him to
move out in blaze of glory The prOpo-
sition was received with hilarity and re-
ierred to the Committee on Centennial
Celebration.-N. y. EUening Mail.
AEoTHER case of marrying coachman
is reported. 1t took place in August last,
but has only just got into the papers, Tho
bride is the daughter of 4 wealthy resi-
dent of Stamford, handsome, intelligent
and admired by many of the society beaux
of that aristOcratic place. The husband is
young Englishman, who has been groom
and coachman for the young lady's father
about two years-unusually intelligent for
his occupation, and liked exceedingly by
all the family, and, il seems, especially by
the daughter. The courtship took place
by daylight, almost exclusively during the
drives to the depot to receive the indulgent
papa. They were married in Stamford,
by q Methodist clergyman, but the parents
were not advised Of the occurrence until a
short time since. Though the marriage
has been made public, the papa, 1t is as.
serted, has removed his daughter TO New
York, and has concealed her from her
husband so elfectually that he is unable to
find her whereabOuts.-HdTU0rd Times
Laying Up for the Children.