Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-02-10
An UnIucky Kiss.

An Unlucky Kiss.
"NOW," said the old man, as he drove
in the last nail, IF they want to SWING on
the gate let 'em do it; it's strong enough
to hold 'em now, and moonlight's cheaper
than coal-oil, anyhow"
Husband, you're a brute to talk that
way" said his better half
What's the matter now, old woman ~
You know that Matilda doesn't swing
on the gate with her young man at night.
Oh, that [ should ever have lived to hear
her own father say sop
Now, look here, old woman, don't you
condemn Matilda for that?"
Not condemn Matilda for swinging
on the gate with a young man in the
night! Why, you vulgar old wretchp'
You'd better not"
Better not? And she my own child,
too?"
You're getting excited, my dear"
"You're an old fool and brute to talk
to me as you Go. You know [ never get
excited; but [ will vindicate my child
even when her father ISLANDERS her!"
Il didn't do it."
=" [ say you did,
"But [ say | didn't"
And | say you did, did, did, so you
did"
YOU'D better go in the house, my
love"
And leave you here to SANDER my
child. No, sir; I'll have you understand
that Matilda's mother has some respect for
her, if her father HASN'T
My love, why will you fly off on a
tangent and work yourself into such a
pet?"
I'm not in a pet; never get in a
pet"
Now, after all, what have said against
Matilda?"
Said? Didn't you accuse her of i'm
proper conduct?'
by no mean "
Didn't you say she staid out at night
with young men, and it saved expense,
you old skinf1int?''
was only jesting.''
Oh, you were? Your own flesh and
blood, my poor, innocent Matilda, to be
made jest! That I should ever have
| lived"-and the poor woman broke down
with sobbing.
Now, see here, old woman" said the
husband, kindly, but firmly, eff you
don't hush your nonsense and dry up, I'll
tell Matilda's beau not to be caught swing
ing on the gate with her at night, and I'll
tell 'em why"
You will, hey?''
Yes, I will; because when I was a
counting young man, was swinging on
the gate with young woman one night
and Sam Solomon happened to pass by
just as she gave me the goodnight kiss. )"
She commenced feeling around for
something.
6 1t was the most unlucky kiss I ever
got, for Sam gave up trying after that, and
as soon as he got out Of the way it was me
or nobody"
1t was lucky he got over the fence and
around the corner as quick as he did, or
the surgeon wouldn't have had such an
easy job Of it.-Vch s5urg Herald.
f..
The. new aerOnautiCal invention. the
par akite, has been exhibited to the public
at the Alexandra Park; but, as it was
represented only by small specimen, the
results Of the exhi bitiOn are not very tan
gible. The parakite, which resembles an
ordinary kite in many details, assembled
to an altitude of 1000 feet or Whereabouts.
remaining steady while held by the string
but its descent was too rapid to suggest an
idea that it would be safe or comfortable
for human being to trust himself to it as
a passenger.
The eighth annual meeting OF the
W oman's Board of Missions of the Con-
gregational Churches was held in Boston
a short time ago. The report showed the
total receipts for the year 1875 to be S72,-
900. Three branch societies have been
added during the year to the nine already
in existence. The society has now twelve
branches and 500 auxiliaries. There are
now fifty-nine missionaries supported by
the society, Of whom five were sent out
during 1875, besides fifty Bible women
and native teachers.
With 1850 pupils in the public
schools of New Orleans, the expenditure
during the past year has been $404, 22O,
an average of S20.73 per scholar-about
the same as in New York City.