The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-11-23
Miss Penhydun Seeks Light on the
Eastern Question.

lOmdua hepuDuSdh.
Miss Pennybun is not strong-minded,
and does not want to vote and hold office,
or any of those horrid things, you
know; but she likes to keep posted ON
current topics, and she reads the daily
papers like hero or martyr, or both.
She had waded patiently through all
the accounts of the war in Turkey, and
almost dislocated her jaws and dazed
her brain in attempting to keep up with
the times, but in spite of all her efforts,
she could never get to the bottom of the
affair, and had not the least idea of what
it was all abott. She shed many tears
on this account, and wondered how it
must feel to be a man and be able to
comprehend such deep and complicated
subjects, and talk on them as fuently as
she had heard some of her masculine
friends do.
One evening last week some gentle
men callers were discussing the EASTERN
question with great deal of warmth
and difference of opinion, and Miss Pen
nybun bIushing for her ignorance looked
meekly tp and said Gentlemen, will
some of you be kind enough to tell me
what the Eastern question is and
what Turkey is making all this fuss
about ?"
Instead of the chorus of voices that
she had expected there was dead silence
for the space Of three minues, while five
gentlemen stared blankly at her with
dismay written in their faces.
At last the wit of the party recovered
his breath and said 4" Oh, Turkey must
either gobble or be gobbled, and she
naturally prefers to gobble, don't you
see?" -
al don't think 1 understand" an
swered Miss Pennybun, looking patheti-
cally at another of the party.
The individual appealed to fidgeted
uneasily in his chair and glanced hur-
riedly at the door; then his face bright
tened, and he turned to one of his COM
panions and said: "Here's Brown, Miss
Penny bun; he has given us full dozen
solutions, so of course he can state the
problem"
Mr.. Brown grew exceedingly red, and
ierked at his collar as if he felt it toe
tight, but managed to articulate refer
ence to Mr.. Green.
Mr.. Green looked alarmed, but gal
lantly responded that it should never be
said that he encouraged woman to de
sert her sphere, and positively refused to
enlighten her.
Then a quiet-looking young man in the
corner saw his opportunity and began
"It's very simple question, Miss Pen
nybun; very simple, indeed. You sex
the Turkish Provinces belong to Turkey
and the Bosphorus being the key of the
Porte, the Gar of Russia thinks of abdi
eating in favor of the Cza1owitch, which
naturally makes England and Germany
anxious about the balance of power
and excites the suspicion of Austrif
with regard to her semi-ltalian posses
sions. Servia and Montenegro being il
revolt, and Il hope you follow me, Mis-:
Pennybun,) the Spanish succession being
doubtful question, Constantinople is il
an exposed condition and England il
uneasy. Roumania is overrun with Rus
sian troops and France remaining neu
tral the while, the Shah of Persia is al
last waking up to the Importance Of the
affair, which will undoubtedly deprive
the Ottoman Empire of the Balkan pen
insula, thereby rousing the Hungarian'
and involving Greece and greater par
of Asia.
81 think the matter is very clear, ant
1 believe in enlightening the womer
enough to make them companionable,'
concluded the quiet young man, leaning
back in his chair, while the tears came
into Miss Pennybun's eyes in admiration
of the stupendous intellect enshrinec
within the noble form, and four happy
young men rose to go, inwardly denoun
cling their own stupidity, and wondering
where in the mischief Jones found al
that out.