The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-01-07
The THERMOMETERS Man.

making sale he started for the eastern
part of the city, hoping to do bettcl
among the private houses. lie seemed
to gain confidence from the cheerful
look of the dwellings, and he bore
himself like banker rs he ascenced
the steps aud pulled door-bell.
Nothing for the poor" said the
lady rs she opened the door.
81 am not soliciting for the poor--I
selling thermometers, he replied in
bamly voice.
Don't want auy--bought our stock
in the fall" she said, drawing ir her
head.
81 said thermometers, ma,iam," he
called in dcspiaring voice.
81 know it; but we've got all the
vegetables we can use." she called
back, and the door struck his toes.
Going into the saloon on the corner
the man addressed the proprietor
with sweet smile, asking:
"Would you like Thermometer TO-
dayY'
"By de pushels' inquired the sa-
loonist.
"No-a thermometer-a little in-
strument for telling you when it is
cold or warm"
"Auy music.box in il? inquired
the saloonist.
mo; ; it records the weather."
"What wedder p
"Why, the weather we have every
day in the year. When it is warm
this bubble ruus up; when it is cold il
sinks down"
"Umph! When it i.h warm / la
kes my goat of when it ish gold
put more goal in der stoaf. Go sell und
dat to some lchmall poys as knows
noddings"
The thermometer man entered
carpetweaver's, and bow-back man
nocded kindly and cordially welcomed
him.
Accurate Thermometers for only
twenty five cents" said the pediler US
New thing asked the w-u,v.,
as he took one in his hand.
We have had thermometers for
many years. People have come to
consider them household necessity
Zero? Zeros Who was Zero?"
asked the weaver, reading the word
behind the glass.
The thermometer man explained,
and the weaver, after trying To get his
thumb nail under the glass, asked {:
"Where does the blamed thing op-
eni'
THERMOMETERS does not open. N!
friend" WAS the reply.
"Well, | don't want no thermometer
around me that won't open y growled
the weaver. II thought it Was new
kind OF siove-haudle when you came
in, or | shouldn't have looked at 1t y
The Thermometer man next tried II
dwel!ing-house, Ia answer to his ring,
the door was instantly and swift.
opened by red faced woman. who hl;
him with club and cried out:
IN learn you. You young william!
She apologized and explained that
several bad boys had been ringLig the
door-bell, and he iorgaye her aud sald
Il have some accurate aud haud'
some thernunleters. WOuld you-'
1--WE never have hash TOR breakfast,
she interrupted. My husband detest'
hash, and 50 | don't want Ia buy"
Hash A thermometer has moth
Ing tu do with hash !" he exclaimed
"Well, can't help that" she re-
piled. slowly closing the door. I'VE
hayn't any lamps to mend, and you
shot ldn'l track mud on the steps that
way"
There was porily man crossing th,
street, aud the thermometer man
beckoned to HIM. halted, and when b,
got near enough, asked:
"Can | sell YOU AN accurate ther
mometer to-dayr
"A whaty"
"A thermometer"
"What do want with a ihermome
teri" exclaimed the portly man, rails
ing his voice a peg.
"Wby, to note the weather.
"You blamed IDIOT! Do you sup
pose | run the weather." roared th'
Tat man, growing purple IN the iace
But you want To know when IL
hot OF cold, don't youg"
IL am such an old fool that | don
know when it's summer and when u
winter y shrieked the fat man.
ave all know, OF course replie'
the stranger, "but every respectabl
family has u thermometer nowadays.
They have. Ell! | never had ons
nor | wouldn't have one. and do yn
dare tell me That | amt Respectable
} screamed old partly.
IL didn't mean-
AYES, you did, aud you've made m
miss the car, and III cane you =
q The thermometer AN waded aero'
9 the muddy street and made his eseap'
/, aud at dusk lnst night was backed u