The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-24

For the period OF six years We have published
the TRUE NoarHERNER without an effort to col
lect our dues from long list Of delinquent
subscribers.to whom We have furnished the pa
per-on tick Now, these we're oil very good
people, and We have kindly 70 gard for them
and wish them all the prosperity and happiness
that is attainable in this world; and when their
mission here is ended we would like to have
them all go to that happy place OF immortality
where oil good editors go. For this reason we
have, of late, reminded many Of their indebted
ness to this journal in order to give them an
opportunity to "square up" and be prepared
to enter that Heaven Of bliss where all desire
to go when they leave this transitory sphere.
To this we fancy we hear some chronic dys-
peptic reply, "what an editor in Heaven 2"
Just as il editors were not in the habit OF going
to Heaven. Wen venture to say that greater
proportion OF them so to that home OF those
who have performed their mission OF mercy on
earth than any other profession or calling that
poor mortals fill.
An editor in Heaven There's nothing very
strange about that. It's almost a moral as we'll
as professional imposslbility for them to so
anywhere else.
Once upon time. after the demise OF men,
Der OF the editorial profession, he presented
himself at the gates OF the Holy City and re-
quested admission. The door-keeper asked him
what had been his occupation while on earth.
To which he replied that he was an editor.
" WE'LL" said the Waterman, 1--WE have crowd
OF your kind here now, and they all came in as
dead-heads. II you can pay your passage you
can come in, il not, you must place yourself un-
der control OF parsonage you ruled tyrannic-
ally down below" (meaning the DeviD. Not
having the wherewith to go in on, (his means
were in the hands OF his delinquent subscri-
bers) he posted of and presented himself at
the entrance of Clooties dark dominions. A
dark complexioned gentleman stood sentry and
asked in a gruff voice. "Who comes?" 'An
humble laborer in the field of letters. made IA
nous by DeFoe, Greeley and Raymond" was
the calm reply. "Then hold on, you can't be
admitted" exclaimed the gentleman in black,
evincing considerable agitation, and scowling
| fiercely on HIM. "Why not ?" demanded he OF
the quill and scissors. who began to get little
! hufish and looked around for pencil with
which to force an entrance. "Well, sir, " re-
Piled his sable majesty, I've lot one OF your
profession in here many years ago, and he kept
up such a continual row with his former delin-
quent subscribers, and we have more OF that
class of persons here than any other,-that we
have passed law prohibiting the admission OF
any editors, except those only who advanced
our interests in their papers while on earth, and
even those we have to keep in . room by them
selves. You have published many things that
operated against us, and always blamed the
Devil for everything tat went wrong, 30 you
can't come in. We enforce this rule for our
own peace and safety. You can travel"
Casting droll leer at his sable majesty, our
editorial friend started Off again, determined to
get in above. Taking with him file OF his pa
per, he presented 1t to the guardian Of the Co.
lestia City, requesting that it might be careful
ly examined, that they might see whether he
was entitled to free ticket. In due time the
Conductor came along and took him in telling
him that he had published many good things,
and had been a martyr to the cause ofnhuman
Improvement, and that resolutions had been
passed to admit all members Of his profession
who had abused the Devil while down below.
He added that they had been sufficiently pun
ished by being with the Devil all their lives and
that their future punishment had been commu-
ted. He further stated that NOT ONE DELIN-
oCESr SUBSCRIBER COULD BE FOUND N ALL
HEAVEN