The Arizona sentinel., 1876-02-26


 "eat venison because it ish deer. I eat mutton because it ish sheep"
 How striking! Messrs. Hitz & Kichs keep a lager-bier sslOon up-tOwn-N. r. Com. AdUertiser.
 The fat men of Marshall, Mich. are arranging a dance to which none are to be admitted who weigh less than 200 pounds.
 A young lady at Richmond, Ind, went to the river seven times one day to commit suicide, and then went home and cried because she couldn't be 8 heroine.
 The intensely poetical editor of the Austin (Tex.) ReUeiWe des- cribes a recent gorgeous sunset in in that vicinity as resembling a ripe pumpkin wrapped in the American flag.
 Man-"Do you think it would he safe for me to cross this pas turew Maid-"Well, the old hull don't like red very much, but if you will chalk your nose guess he won't attack you"
 "You ain't afraid to die?" said the clergyman, tenderly "No," replied the sufferer, ''Pm only afraid if do that the old woman will go shooting among my pri- vate papers the first thing:"- Brooklyn Argus.
 An Irishman found a Govern ment blanket recently, and roll ing it up put it under his arm and walked of, saying: "Yis. that's moin-U for Patriot, and s for McCarty; be me sowl, but this Iearning's a foine thing. as me fayther would say; for if 1 hadn't any edication I wouldn't have been afther flndin' me blanket"
 The time when man fully req lizes that wOman's sphere should be enlarged is when he finds that his washer woman has mistaken his stockings for his shirt bosom, and starched them accordingly.- Boston Advertiser.
 A woman over in Shasta coun- ty killed panther, or California lion, and the neighborhood were greatly astOnished thereat, but her husband quietly remarked, ooh, that's nothing! That woman could lick the devil"
 This wifi be a great year for this American nation. 1t is leap year, Presidential election year, and the centennial anniversary of our Tn. dependence, and for the purpose of giving us a rest during so much excitement, there will be one ex- tra Sunday, or fifty-three in all.
 Philadelphia papers claim that the women's section of the Gen. tennial Exposition will present the entire range of wOmen's achievements from the ffig-leaf era down to the last hour before the grounds are th1own open to the public.
 "Will your Honor please charge the jury" asked an Arkansas at theconclusion of a horse. thief trial. "I will" replied his Honor, "the Court charges each juryman one dollar for drinks, and six dollars extra for the one who used the Courts hat for a 1 spittoon during the first day of the session."
 Judge Brady, of New York, tells this good story: He was one day on the wharf while an emigrant ship was coming in. 1 An Irish laborer, who knew him, edged alongside, and after look at the crowded ship, turned to the Judge and said: "Tell ye what, Misther Brady, thin fur liners is goin' to play the divil with us entirely. What'll we do at all at ali.
 1t was a sweet household pie lure: She was red in the face and like a hurricane his nose was bleeding where the roll Ibg-pin struck him, and he was swearing a cataract; the children were crying. Over the door hung a motto, "God bless our home" There was a chrOmO representing Faith, Hope and Charity, over the mantel, and plaster bust of Peace over the bookcase.
 A clergyman ofa country village church desired to give notice that there would be no service in the afternoon as he was going to offici- ate for another clergyman. The clerk, as soon as the sermon was finished, rose up with all due and cried out, "I am to give notice that there will be no service this afternoon, ., N6, r ;c r,aiv,s Rohino. ,,,:kl. a.. |