The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-12-16
At midnight, in his guarded pen,
The turkey dreams of that bright hour
When first he met a turkey hen,
And led her smiling 70 his bower.

When first he met turkey hen,
And led her smiling TO his bower
- Volanie.
There wasn't much hanging on the gate-post
on Friday night of last week. When T. F. reach
ed home his maiden aunt remarked what
home already" YES dash the cold weather
noustache frozen so stiff couldn't do anything,
so, dash it, came horne," and he tumbed into
bed with sorrow uLder his left ribs.
Although often requested this week so to do
We do not feel exactly justified in telling whose
hat it was she sat on. We're afraid the fellow'd
SIT down on Us.
Under Hull ~ Bartels' new sign is q good
! place TO mediate rs well as suggestive place.
| 1t suggests hats You can mediate whether
you're going to pay for those hats on election or
wear them and you can keep on medltating til
next March from all present appearances.
The rcpubo haven't fired their So guns here
yet. They think it is dangerous conference.-the
the gmlncrs, of course.
OF course, on Christmas and New Years ed
tors never cat poultry-they dine on elephants
toes and other rare delicacies, 50 none of our
rural friends will Kill the "fatted calf" on o.,
account,
Jim Yeast and Tom Yarrum can bea, any ligh.
weight men in this or ally other slckly village
telling big single. handed yarn. Jim quotes
from all the leading liars in Indiana and two
thirds of the Louisiana returning board, while
Tom is backed by all OF the fourth ward spirit
ualists and the deaf and dumb member of the
council. The story Of the loaYes and the fishes
is no comparison for some of their thrilling
tales, while the sad fate of Jonah would only be
starter far jim. Tom has sent for Q vols. OF
poor house discipline and the preface to the
Mormon Gods, We look for joint debate be
tween these two Quakcrs. :
Don't ask Us for the name Of the young man
who called on his adorcd the other evening up
in Center Ottawa, and, getting short of some
thing to say, quietly remarked How sad it is
Frost has come and will Kill everything green"
Thcreugon the young lady extended her hand
and said, in sympathetic tones: "Good-by,-1
I'll planta tomato vine on your grave"
We welcome to our exchange list the Ottawa
tllIi FREE TRADER, published bv our old friends,
Osman " iapcnan. IL j. one Of the best int
rior papers published in that State-So1rgeiOir1
tCOl) NHsu.
Another outrage on the damnigger, One o.
the co,orcd gcnlum at the Hotel de Park o.
Thursday, cutting up bar Of soap, found ten
rents in silver in his pocket. And now the gro
GERS are having run On Gold" soap. People
don't look much cleaner, however.
There were tears in his eyes, tears in his nose
and tares in his pants, but when the landlord of
A Columbus street hotel refused to let him occupy
4 bed by himself for the simple reason that he
was 50 slim that he couldn't wear but one sus-
pender be made more noise than the starch fac
tory under full motion. He quit. Packing up
rs clothes in a collar box he started for the 81
ernoon prayer meeting. He called upon the
,wner Of DR.. Cakes late residence in South o.
ava, and will keep house there this winter.