Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-08-10
ADVISED TO DEATH.

ME-. MURZLEROOT had only one
cross III his placid life. He was blessed
with a wife whose value was above
rubieS, and a daughter of whom he
was proud to excess, illunined his
home with her grace and beauty His
naturally uneven temper had been
smoothed and toned down into an un-
rippled current by the modifying in
fluenceS of his quiet home, and his
life flowed along in a stream of almost
anbr0ken tranquility. His conscience
was clear, his conduct exemplary, and
his appetite enormous. And if he had
been able to buy nice little place out
in the middle Of the Sahara where he
could plan and build in his own way
subject only to the restrictions of the
.cOmnon law and the provisions of the
Constitution of the United States, he
would have been happy man. Mr.
MurZlerO0tS great cross was that he
was surrounded by superior neighbors,
who advised him to death. He never
entered upon domestic enterprise of
whatever nature that he was not i'm
mediately surrounded by multitude
of COunSelorS in whom there was
oceans of solid wisdom. He was a
patient man, and he endured a great
deal before he began to complain.
And probably if he had not built that
!have broken the accomplishing silence
of his lips. But that summer-house
was the feather that fractured the
camel's spine. He ought to have known
better than to begin such an enter
prise, but this is a world of short
SightedneSS, and faulty undertakings,
and mistaken plans, and if MI. Muir
ZlerOOt never made Il mistake he might
have been President to-day, and this
column would have been a barren
wilderness of advertisements, instead
of pUrte1Te of human experience,
bright with the glittering blossoms of
human joys, and heavy with the bend
ing cypress of human suffering. Rise
and sing.
You see, Mrs. MuZleroot thought
the front yard looked rather bare with
out a summer-hOuse. Miss MurzlerOOt
thought cute little summer-house,
with a graceful pagoda roof, and its
sides EMPOWERED in a clinging mass of
tangled vines, yieing with each other
in their wild, Towering luXuriance,
would be perfectly de-vine." And
finally Mr.. Murzleroot himself ponder
,ously expressed the belief, as though
the idea was entirely his own, COM
pletely original with himself, and had
not been drummed into him by his
wife and daughter every day for three
blessed weeks, that 'a summer-house,
of neat and not overly ornate style of
suburban architecture, erected in a jul
diciOusly-selected location in that sec
tion of the premises bordering more
directly on the public highway, or
thoreughfare, would tend to relieve
the lawn of that slight suggestion of
monOtOny which marked the long un-
broken eXpanse of clOsely-restricted
yerdure, or, as we might say, of
+SmOOthfy-mOWn grass, or, Of-Of in
brief-graSs." And SO the summer
house was decided upon, and in due
time the carpenter, having exhausted
all possible excuses for putting off the
job until next Christmas, made his ap-
pearance and the work was begun
While Mr.. MurZleroot stood by, boss
ing the job, with the proud air of a
master, Mr.. Blanchard, his next-door-
neighbor, halted at the front fence on
his way to the office.
''What you building, Murzleroot ?'
he hailed,
Mr.. III. explained.
Chow high are you going to make
it2"
Mr.. III. thought about nine feet in
the clear, with fancy roof.
Whoof" said Mr.. Blanchard,
putting away the structure with one
enormous snort. "Now don't you
make it an inch short of fifteen feet to
the caves! You don't want a martin
box, you want Summer-houSe, some
thing high, airy, graceful. Don't spoil
the looks of your place for few
dollars. Put up summer-house that
will look as though a man of taste had
something to do with it, And Mr..
Blanchard remorselessly shifted out all
of Nh. Murzleroot's suggestions and
objections and ignored the carpenter.
until at last Mr. MurZleroot, under the
vague impression that he was putting
up that summer-house for Mr.. Blanch-
ard. yielded to the instructions of that
man of taste, who, when he saw the
work of reconstructing the plans fully
developed, went on his way with the
air of man who only clings to life