The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-01-06
The Thermometer Man.

"
and he had thirty seven thermometers in
basket on his arm. After standing on the
street corners for two or three hours with
out making sale he started for the east
ern part of the city, hoping to do better
among the private houses. He seemed to
gain confidence from the cheerful look OF
the dwellings, and he bore himself like a
banker as he assembled the steps and pulled
door bell
Nothing for the poor" said the lady
as she opened the door.
II am not soliciting for the poor-I
am selling thermometers" he replied in
a balmy voice.
Don't want any-bought our stock in
the fall" she said, drawing in her head.
IL said thermometers, madam" he
called in q despairing voice.
g know it; but we've got all the vege-
tables we can use," she called back, and
the door struck his toes.
Gong into the saloon on the corner the
man addressed the proprietor with a sweet
smile, saying:
Would you like thermometer to-
day."
"No-a thermometers small instru
ment for telling you when it is cold or
warm"
"Any music-b box in it," inquired the
saloonist.
"No. 1t records the weather."
"What wedder?"
"Why, the weather we have every day
in the year. When it is warm this little
bulb runs up; when it is cold it sinks
down."
"Umph! When it ish warm I dakes
my goat off; when it ish gold but more
goal in der stoaf. Go und sell dat to some
schmall poy as knows noddings"
The thermometer man entered carpet
weaver's, and bow backed man nodded
kindly and cordially welcomed him.
Accurate thermometers for only twen-
ty-tive cents" said the peddler, as he held
one up.
"New thing?" asked the weaver, as he
took one in his hand.
1--WE have had thermometers for many
years. People have come to consider
them household necessity"
Zero Zero? Who was Zero?'' asked
the weaver, reading the word behind the
glass.
The thermometer man explained, and
| the weaver, after trying to get his thumb
nail under the glass, asked:
"Where does the blamed thing open?'
Thermometers are not made to open,
my frlend," was the reply.
We'll, don't want no thermometer
around me that won't open!" growled the
weaver. II thought it was a new kind
OF stove-handle when you came in, or I
shouldn't have looked at it,
The thermometer man next tried a
dwelling house. In answer to his ring
the door was instantly and swiftly opened
by a red-faced woman, who hit him with
club and cried out:
"pll learn you, you young villain!'
She apologized and explained that sew
eral bad boys had been ringing the door
bell, and he forgave her and said:
IL have some accurate and handsome
thermometers here. Would YOU"
"We never have hash for breakfast"
hash, and so don't want to buy"
CLASH! A thermometer has nothing to
do with hashr' he exclaimed.
slowly closing the door. "We haven't any
mud ON the steps that way"
There was a portly man crossing the
street, and the thermometer man bcckoned
to him, hailed him, and when he got near
enough asked:
"Can sell you an accurate thermom-
eter to-day"
"a what?''
"a thermometer
"What do want with thermometer, ,"
exclaimed the portly man, raising his
voice a peg.
"Why, to note the weather.
"You blamed idiot! Do you suppose
1 run the weather? W roared the fat man,
growing purple in the face.
| But you want to know when it's hot
or cold, don't you?"
cam such an old fool that don't know
when it's summer and when it's winter ~
shrieked the fat man.
1--WE all know, of course replied the
stranger, but every respectable family
has thermometer nowadays"
"They have, ell! l never had one, nor
I wouldn't have one, and do you dare tell
me that l amt respectable?' screamed old
portly.
II didn't mean"
Eyes you did, and you've made me
miss the car, and I'll cane your
The thermometer man waded across the
muddy street and made his escape, and at
dusk last night was backed up against the
soldiers monument, his basket between
his feet, and was squirting sadly at the
clock on the City, Hall tower.-Detroit Free
Press.
C%o{n Dnvulofinns I'm 1o7S