Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-10-13


Somebody's gone and hoo, e l hull slath
er of my mushmilyOns, and I've tracked
'em to the Springs, and they tell me the
bought 'em of your boys for 10 cents apiece
rs that so?s slys ole Mr.. Tilden. wal
III jest call the boys. allus learnt EN- Il
be keerful about their reputaShuns, and Il
never do nothin that will be discovered il
a way to sile their good names. My MOTIF
is: Take care of yer name, and yer kraetel
will sartin take care of itself"
Then he goes out to the barn, whert
Moses and Sammy were trying to cheat
each other trading fish-lineS, and talked to
the boys in low tone and went back in the
| house,
Wien the boys came in he saws: "BOys,
Uncle Ike has lost a whole slew of them
/ good milyons of hisen and has found them
at the Springs, and they tell him that No
ser brung EN- there and sold EN-. What
have We got to say. boys? If you've stole
Uncle lke'S muShmilyons I'll lick We within
an inch of yer lives"
Gracious! You ought to seen Sammy
He turned up that. round, smirhn', one
| sided face OF hisen, and loOkin' Uncle Ike
| square in the eyes, said:
You're nice old uncle to come here
and twit me and Nose of stealin' yer gOl-
| derned mushmilyOnS. Don't nobody raise
milyOns about this town of Leb'nOn but
you? You ought to be ashamed of Yourself.
d like tO see you prove them milyOnS to be
yourn. Eff you can't prove EN- yourn, what
are Won gOin' to do about it p
AT first Uncle Ike was so tux down nv
Sammy's sass, that he begun TO feel real
sheepiSh like, and was. about to beg the
family's parding and go, when that last
misfortLnate remark about prOvin' proper
ty riled him sgin, and he SAYS. Sammy,
stay on yer hoss jest mint. Perhaps yer
kin bluff me. and prarps you don't known
hOw't | cut the letter Il onto the seed end
of every mushmilyOn into my garding, and
should know EN- in Tophet, where you'll be
most apt to geta lick at sich fodder if yer
lucky enough to eat any thing as cooling as
milyOns in the future life.
''Oh," says Sammy, ''then you know
they are yourn. And say, Uncle Ike, I'm
glad YOU was smart enough to cut the front
corner of your fust name onto them mil
yons. l think l know the chaps that stole
EN-. told EN- on Sunday after you had
treated us so nice, that it would be derned
mean to go and steal your milyens, but
they didn't mind what said"
I'm ashamed of my sex. I'm sorry I'm
boy, and if the Lord spares my life I'll new
er marry and run the risk of bringin' more
boys into the world, but | will devote my
hfe to exposing sinners. I've bin in the
mushmilyon bizniS little and bought and
sold milyons more or less, but who'd
thought l was dickering with lot of
thieves? 1t makes my blood bile to think
of it. But it is lucky for you and the hull
country that them milyons was sold to me.
1t may be the means of breaking up the
allfiredest mushmilyon gang that ever cuss-
ed the country. l kin spot every one Of EN-
and bring EN- to justice, though it'll take
time and money, and shall run the risk of
Citing licked like thunder, for the boys II
be awful mad But it's time somebody be-
gan to burst these chaps, or we're ruined.
amt afeard to go ahead if you amt afeard
to foller."
Sammy" says old Mr.. Tilden, 81 never
was SO proud OF We afore in all my born
days. / druther you'd steal all the mush-
milyons in the county of Klumby than not
git chance to be a reformer. You're the
stuff that Guyners and PRESIDENTS is made
ont on. Bless ye, my boy"
''Sammy," says Uncle Ike, with the tears
rollIn down his face, I'm glad sich brave
and honest boy has took hold of this thing;
and if you'll tell me the names of the boys
who did the stealth, We needen't pay back
nuthin on the milyons, and I'll go snucks
with ye on the money git outen the boys
dads.
Wall, US boys got a awful licking, and
our fathers paid Uncle Ike three times the
worth of the property to have ithushed up.
Sammy cleared about fifteen dollars outen
the entire consarn, and got the name Of be-
ing the bravest and honestest Doy in the
hull county, and was mentioned in the
n, in cfor'c co rr,iDt fba Davt Sunday