, 1876-02-13
IiUAIOIt,

A new name for tight boots-A corn-crib,
Tho tardest kind Of chasm to get ove1-Sar
casm.
Tue man who works With wiIl-The Probate
Judge
An ominous anonymous?
When singer sings to losing audience, may
it not be called ''sound without ceots"?
Why is speudthrlfss purse like a thunder
cloud? Because it is continually a-light'nine-
| A Massachusetts, newspaper SAYS: ''Ten milIs
| make q cent-but not any ten mills in this re-
! gion."
The extreme height Of niaery is small boy
with new pair Of rubber boots, and no mud OF
A1pah in reach.
When ia schoolboy Ike postage-stamp?
When he geta licked and put in ! corner to max
him stick to his letters.
''Whst is the interior OF Africa principally
] used for?" asked teacher Of pupil- For
purposes Of exploration" was the reply.
breed OF dogs without tails has been dis
covered in Africa; and bow the mischievons boyQ
there ntillze old tin kettles and truit~cans, ne
cannot pretend to say
The Sandwich Islands are going to adopt
new flag but they can't decide whether to tako
a gray horee blanket with hole in it, or an old
vest with the back ripped out.
Two 1riahmen travelling, were robbed and tied
in wood One in despair. cried: - Och, au
undone!" Said the other: s. Fair, then wished
you would come and undo me-
4 purchaser of 3 riverside property asked ths
real-eatate agent il the river dida't sometimes
overflow its banks- "WelI," responded be, it
isn't one Of those sickly streams that are always
confined to beds"
Across the wanutB and the wine: Engaging
child 40 Mr. Jenkins! do let me see you
drink !" Mr.. Jenkins ''See me- drink :! What
19s @s my as :? drink fEpsss'e& is &.s sea oh a
4 printer having occasion the other dsy to
set the well-known line,
sIave. I have set my life upon eaztt
aatonished the proof-reader with the following
version:
slare, have sct my wife upon cask.
Book-agens to lawyers clark, greatly bored:
"sir, you had better take that book; you'll find
il a remarkably good Investment, aud" -
"Ob. yes! eau do that" .Theo you've got q
mighty sight moro money than / have. Good
dsy!"
man in Northampton, it is said, made 10
many pairs OF shoes in ono day that it took two
days to count them. He was smart oue but not
equal to one in rhe County Tippera1y, who
built 80 many miles Of stone fence In ooe day
that it took him alt night and next day to get
home-
Wages sre 10 cents daY in China; but With
those 1U cents you can subscribe for q daily pa
per. buy pair Of striped stockings, Witness q
play that lasts nineteen hours, and have COM
Portable sum left to send to .ha beni9hted den1-
zens Of the New World, to be used for ulssion-
a1y PURPOSES.
man popped into the Post-O Of6ce and wanted
to know how much merchandise he could send in
one parcel 50 Four pounds" was therepIv. Then
he b!analV said he thought he would send Gut to
Arizona pounds Of those red toy balloons. ln-
heted but he had difficulty in getting out OF tho
door in tiu1e to dodge mailbag.
Tho following conversation took place tbs
other evening ut tea-table In Bangor, Me-:
Fve-yeat-old to his mother: "MoIher, can
have \ cooky?" s'Eo, my son." - Mother, caa
hAre quarter Of cooky?" -'No, my son-
s*Can I have n crumb OF 4 cooky2" mo"
swell. then. can sueu Of 3 coo1y?"
It always seema absurd to us to hear the hero
or heavy villain 10 Il Euelodrsua e1claln. as he
secretes himself in room in the castle or else
wI,eye. ..Apd-pow-if-I-'ra- -tliscov-ored-
I'm 1ost-Im lost!" when the ssupldest noy in
the top gallery Knows that ii he's discovered he's
found-hu's found.-Tur7.er's Falls Reporter
"Tes. s;r," remarked red-nosed patriot, as
he leaned one elbow on the uhlsky-bac. and
crooked the other a. just the angle to bring the
rim Of the empty glass to his nose, ''yes. slr,
our country never had before the need OF aucE
exalted statesnnanship - in tho present amer--~
Just then somebody a4ked him to havs another
drink, and be forgot to finish tho sentsacA