Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-05-04
GaeEden's Last Drink.


r..,- o.. r.--:
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[ have Travelled this road every cay
of my life-eVer since It was laId--ln
charge Of the ''San francisco, the
prettiest and best engine on the hua,
Il was southwestern road, running,
as we will say, from A to 4. l bad
the sweetest little wife in the worlI,
and baby the very image of It's p1,
[ had always had dollar or two 70
put by for rainy day, and the boys
spoke Of me as an odd kind OF man:
To be shut up with an engine, watch
ing with all your eyes and heart and
soul, doesn't make a conscientious man
talkative, and [ never squandered my
time spinning yarns and listening to
railroad jokes in the roundhouse,
My wifo's name was Josephine, and
| called her "Joe.
never had belonged to any OF the
railway clubs or organizations, and
never should if it hadn't been for
Granny. CRANKY was nephew OF
our division superintendent and it's a
failing with we men Of the road that
we like to be noticed by the fellows. at
headquarters, IT only to touch the hem
Of their garments Granny was a
snowy fellow, and often rode with me
from 4 to z. He had q good opinion
Of me, and as far'as [ know we were
good friends. Once he said to me:
"Ion ought to belong to the Rail
way Scientific Club, Gnellen. "
"Never heard Of it, said [.
I'VE meet once a fortnight, he re-
piled, land have Il jolly Sood time.
We want practical, thinking men n
your sort, and III propose you, If
like"
was fond OF sach things, and ~
had ideas that I fancied might be
worth something. But the engineer
doseo't have many nights or days to
hhself' and the club would have one
evening a fortuight from Joe. I said !:
e VIII ask her If she likes it,
yes. ...- -.
ASK whom = he said.
''Joe, said |,
elf every man had asked his wife
every mans vile would have, SAID
" Gan spare you, my dear, sad
Gran5y.
but l ma3e no answer AT home L
told 5oc. She said:
y snail miss you, Ned. But you
DO love such things. and # CRANKY be
longs to 1t they must De superior men,.
30 sad yes. and Granoy proposed
me. Thursday fortnight | went with
him 10 .4e rooms The real business
OF tho evening was the supper.
| had always been temperate man,
| did not KNOW what effect wine would
have on me. But coming to drink
more Of It than | had ever done before
at the club table, | found it put steam
on. After 50 many glasses [ wanted
to talk ; ana after SO many more, I
did
[ seemed like somebody else, the
words were 50 ready. My ideas came
OFT. and they were listened to /
made sharp hits, and INDUCED in
repartee, toldstorie and even came to
puns | heard somebody say "Gran-
by, by George, that's man worth hav-
ing. [ thought him dull at first. =
Yet [ knew it was better to be quiet
Ned Guelden, with his ten words an
hour than the winemade wit [ was.
L was sure of it. when three months
later l stumbled upstairs to find Joe
waiting for me, with her baby on her
breast.
''You've been deceiying me- said
Joe. L suspected it, but wasn't sure,
A scientific club could't smell ike a
barroom, .
(Which means that [ do, said I.
"And look like one, said Joe, as
she locked herself and baby in the
spare bed room.
One night | was dressed in my Sun
dow +p ,so 10. ba cIr1b