Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-08-05

| lC efOlds3C VI biO SOhSf fOSaoAO'e,
ministers of Massachusetts who died las
: year was So.
An apothecary shop on the corner
with green apple stand in front. shows
the eternal fitness of things.
Mrs. Tyner, the wife of the new Post
master General, was, before her marriage
about three years ago, a Treasury clerk
Hunting parties, as usual, have appear.
ed at the balls of watering place hotels
They appear to be hunting for good
matches.
An hishman complained to his physi.
clan that he stuffed him so much with
drugs that he was sick long time after
he got well.
A young woman of Chicago objects tC
tie new silver coin because the Goodies:
Of Liberty is dressed just as she was Il
years ago, and that's so terribly s'Old.
fashioned"
A Vassar girl sent her contribution tC
the Custer monument fund with the
words: Il send my quarter as my tribute
to the memory of man who never
asked quarter"
For man," says Mr.. Talmage. 'smar-
riage is the only estate that is right
And if he marries a society woman he is
lucky at the end of the year if he finds
any estate that is left.
The largest negative ever produced by
means Of photography was recently ex-
hibited i'm San Francisco. 1t was three
feet long and two feet wide, and the
perfected apparatus bost the inventor
over $4,000.
Mrs. Hannah Merrill, the oldest inhab-
itant of North Conway, n. H., died a few
days ago, aged 80. She was one of the
singers in the Congregational church al
the memorial services at the death oi
Washington.
A little girl who was i'm the car OF
state at Virginia City, OH the 4th, was
asked what state she represented on the
occasion. She said: ''Oh, l wasn't a
state. was sort of halfway thing-I
was territory"
Hermann, the magician. took out his
I papers as an American citizen the other
day, and bcwildered the city clerk not a
little by pleading poverty and pretend
ing TO extract the usual fee of So from
the clerks OWN pocket.
Fond father to visitor: "My boy
knows lot of scripture. Now, Larry.
what did God make Oh the first day ?''
Larry hesitates. Fond father points up
ward in the direction Of the chandelier.
81 know, pa. He made gas ~
A boyish novice in smoking turned
deadly pale and threw away his cigar.
Said he. "thar's sumthin' i'm that air cigar
| that's made me sick" IL know what it
is" said his companion, pulling away.
:'What 2" 'Tobacker.''
Church fairs work as follows: Some
ladies borrow money from their hus-
bands. buy material and make up fancy
articles, which they give to the fair.
They then change places, borrow money
and buy the articles back again.
Mark Twain, speaking of mosquito
netting, writes: ''The day is coming
when we shall sit under our nets i'm
church and slumbcr peacefully; while
the discomfitted flies club together
and take it out on the minister.
An Iowa mother set her three months
old baby under tree near the house,
while she went into the garden for mo-
ment. The chiid's screams brought her
to it Immediately, when she found that a
pet pig had eaten off both the baby's
hands and part of its face.
You are the dullcst boy ever saw ~
Grossly exclaimed a bald-headed old uncle
to his nephew. swell, uncle" replied
the youth, ''you can't expect me to un--
derstand things as quick as you do, be-
cause you don't have the trouble OF
getting 'em through your hair
A little girl in Reading, Penn, recent
ly saw an old drunken man lying OH
doorstep, the perspiration pouring off
his face and crowd of children prepar-
ing to make fun of him. She took her
little apron and wiped his face, and then
looked up so pitifully to the rest and
made this remark: 80, say, don't hurt
him, he's somebody's grandpa"
An elder of the kirk having found a |
little boy and his sister playing marbles
on Sunday put in "A reprOof, though not |
a judicious one. "Boy,dO We know where |
children go who play marble OH Sabbath |
day?" "Ay," said the boy, ''they gang
down to the field by the water" "No,"
roared out the elder. ''they go to hell. |
and arc burned The little fellow called |
his sister: ''Come AVA, Jeannie. here's |
mon swearing awfully!"
Philadelphia Item '.Pa. are you i'm |
favor of the bible i'm the public schools ?r
ask, West Side youngstcr at the
bI eakfast table Il le other morning.
''Why, of course Ieam,' responded tie
father, pleased that such an important
subject should engage the attention of
his youthful offspring. "Wbat makes
you ask such question, my son?' 80,
nothing" responded the young hope