davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03
The Typical SOutherner.

The Richmond, Virginia, Enquirer
feels called upon 90 go into descriptions
and explanations for the benefit of be-
nighted, captious, and undesired North
erners, and proceeds TO the task in such
words As these: "There mnst be some
thing essentially different in the social
practices Of the North and South, or else
surely there would not be 20 much COM
plant and such echOed lamentations on
the grievance of social exclusion. No
Southern man, however he may be neg
lected, ever puts up a whine on such a
subject. No Southern gentleman or lady
ever thinks Of going or wanting to go
where his or her company is not desired.
Nor, indeed, are our people a sociable
| people as q rule. They are not given to
visiting. junketing. talking, boring. both
ering. asking questions, and pokinR their
noses into other peoples business, a. are
the amiable citizene of some other sec-
tions Of the great United States. The
typical Southrrner ia grave, reticent. dig
ni6ed, reserved; free only with old-iime
friends; stately even in his family circle,
and as free from vulgar curiosity and
the habit of idle tatile as the Sphynx
itself or the statue of Memnon in the
| desert. Now We mean no offense when
we say that our Yankee brethren are
mnch more lively in the use of both
legs and tongue, and that If the satirists
of their own sections are to be believed,
they are never so happy as when prying
into the business of other people. The
Southern people have not only no taste
for such social practices, bui they have
no time. Thrir thoughts and their Ieia-
nre are otherwise employed. They pay
very few visits and expect very few. But
no reasonable mind. unless his heal IL
turned with vanity or the childish cnri-
Osity to see Southern social life, would
complain Of being neglected and not in
vited to the homes of such men. There
is no political significance in it. A Dem
ocrat from Virginia, however worthy. IN
! ourhIOurJ anu CSbiuAdblc1 HOuIO DG Juri
"a much neglected at Charleston, as a
Yankee from Cape Cod, If he brought
no letters of introduction or had no
friends of an earlier acquaintance. And
even if political dislike did enter into
the alleged practice of social discrimi.
nation. ia that any matter for grave leg
islators and a digni6ed and able press Ia
concern itself about, or is il any reason
why the reign of harbarIsm and ignor.
ance should be restored? The whine oI
social exclusion il the most disgusting
and offensive imaginable. and we are
sure il is never raised by men who have
any just claim Of social recognition. A
gentleman il no less than q gentleman
whatever the section he may hail from
and he will never lack recognition il hs
seeks il in the proper manner, with which
every gentleman is acquainted. IL i,
only the upssart and the shOddyite who
sits at the doors of modest homes whers
he il not known and il never thought of
and raises the pitiful clamor of socia
ostracism and calls for more troops Il
remedy his grievance"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

Cows are not early risers. Unless dis
tnrbed they will lie on cold morning
till the day gets we'll started; appreciaI-
ing the cheap warmth of = comfortable
bed rs much NJ the farmer himself The
horse is quite different. and bes'irs him
self nobody knows when. IL is not Of
ten that We catch him mapping unless he
is very tired. He would look out every
once in awhile in the night il he could,
and see how the weather goes. Last
night, for the first time this winter, ]
gave Ringbone the liberty OF his box
with an open east window twice aS large
as n horse-colIar. Rising at day break
for n wonder-T found the horse with
hIs head out Of that window, winking AT
the pleasant view, one might think, and
calculating the charmS OF an early
spring Of grass like an old hay sPeculs
tuF
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

from different parts of the village toward
the members Of the club were necessarily
in the secret, and watched their exit
with considerable laughter from behind
blinds. But to the rest of the villagers
it has never ceased TO be puzzle who
those elderly strangers were who appear
ed that evening and were never before or
since visible. For once the Argus-eyed
curiosity of Yankee village, compared
with which French or Austrian police
are easy to battle. WAS fairly clnded.
Eight O'Clock was the hour at which
tine old folks party began, and the read
er will need fresh introduction TO the
company which was assembled At that
time in Mary Fellows's parlor. Marv
sat by her grandmother, who from time
to time regarded her in a half-puzzIed
manner, as ifi, required an effort of her
reasoning powers to re-assure her that
the effect she saw was an illnsiOn. the
girls brown hair waa gathered back un-
der lace cap. and ali that appeared out
side it was thiekly powdered. She wore
spectacles, and the warm tint Of her
cheeks had given place to the Opaque
saffron hue of age. She sat with her
hands in her lap, their fresh color
and dimplrd contour conceal by black
lace half-gloves. The fullness of her
young bosom was carefully disguised by
the arrangement of the severely simple
black dress she wore, which was also in
other respects studiously adapted to con-
ceaI, by it's stiff and angular lines. the
| luxuriant contour of her figure. As
she rose and advanced to welcome Hen
nv and Jessie, who were the last 10 ar
| rive, it was with a striking imitation of
the tremuIously precipitate step of age.
Jessie heing rather taller than the
others, had affected the stoop "f age very
successfully. She wore a black dres-
spotted with white, and her whitened hair
was arranged with high comb. She
was the onlv one without spectacles or
eye glasses. Henry looked older and
feebler than any of the company. His
acant hair hung in thin and long white
/ locks, and his tall, slender figure had
gained a still more meager effect from
his dress, while his shoulders were bow
ed in marked stoop; his gait was
rigid ami jerky. He assisted himself
with gold-headed cane, and sat in his
chair leaning forward upon it.
CONCLUDED IN NEXT ISSUE.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

How easy to be neat, to be clean
How easy to arrange the rooms with the
most graceful proprieiy. How easy TO
in vest our houses with the truest ele-
gance. Elegance resides not with the
uphoIsterer or the draper; it is not in
mosaics, the carPeting. the rosewood
the mahogany, the candelebra, or in the
marble ornaments; it exists in the spirit
presiding over the chambers of the
dwelling. Contentment must always he
the scene Of its abode il trans forms vast
into n garden. The home lighted by
these intimations ofa nobler and bright
er may be wanting in much of the dis
contented desire; but to its inhabitants
il will be n palace far outlying tbs
Oriental in brillisncy and glory.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

A man dreamt he was travelling, and
came 70 little church, and on the cnpo-
Ia Of that church there was devil fast
asleep. He went along further. and
came to a log cabin. and it was surround
ed by devils all wide awake. He asked
one Of them what it meant; said the
devil: "I will tell you. The fact is,
that whole church is asleep and one
devil can take care Of all the people.
but here are q man and woman who
pray, and they have more power than
the whole church."
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

We met with this witty retort in 9
sketch of short trip through portion
Of Ireland. The writer is converting
with his car driver:
Yon are q Catholic, Pat?
Yes. yer honor.
And you pray to the Virgin Maryg
do, yer honor.
Well, there's no doubt she was n good
woman. The Bible says so. But she
may have been no better than your
mother or mine.
That's true, yer honor, but then you
will allow there's a mighty difference in
their children.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

AGE OF SHEEF.-A farming writing
us from Washington county, Indiana,
says that the age Of a sheep may EARLY
be told thus They have eight front
teeth, all ofone size. the first year; at two
years old the two middle teeth having
been shed out are replaced with two n
good deal larger than the others; for the
third year two small teeth come on eth
er side OF the eight; at the end Of the
fourth year there are six large teeth; on
the fifth year all the front teeth are
large, and the teeth all show wear on
the sixth year IndinAA Farmer.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

A remarkable coincideBce-if il real
ly kappened-is reported from Jersey
City. Two gentlemen OF that city ex-
changed overeoats by mistake the other
day. One of them, Mr.. Martin, was
confident he could identify his property.
as he had piece Of Turkey rhubarb in
one pocket, a pair hid gloves in still an
other. He met the other gentleman.
Mr. Fielder, several days after, in the
Merchants Hotel, New York, when the
latter said: 1T Is little singular that
! can't find my Turkey rhubarb that !
Away" carry. ] have a piece here. but
It isn't the one bought out in Ohio
several weeks ago" Mr.. Martin asked
to see it, and then exclaimed: "Bv
Jove, that's my rhubarb; can tell the
way ] nibbled il. You are the man
I've been looking for" and to the aston
ishment of every one. they then and
there swapped coats. To complete ,be
singular coincidence Of the affair. Mr.
Fielder also had pair OF kid and wool
en- gloves disposed in his pockets a. Mr.
Martins were, and both coats were the
same size, though not alike in color or
material. Mr.. Fielder remarked that
hI" gloves came up more than usual
over his sleeves, and he thought hi,
arIns must have shrunk. Mr.. Martin,
gloves were larger than his
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

In her remIniscences Of her life al
Southbridge, Mass, Jennie June says:"I
had only one enemy in Southbridge TO
my knowledge, and that was an elderly
deacon's wife; the way it came about was
this; ! was my nephew's teacher as
we'll A. my brothers honsekeeper, and
on one occasion, when we had been in
vited 10 dine in state at her house. she
called out to Egbert in q high voice
from her end Of the table, Sonny, won't
you have some puddin'?" and, 10 the
horror and cons,ernation Of his papa and
myself, the terrible infant replied, quite
az loudly, Il gueit If you lived at our
house my aunt wonnd make Won say
pudding" ] am cure at that moment ]
wished grammar and correct pronnncia-
tion were with truth at the bottom of a
well, but it was of no avail. Going home
my reverend brother remarked, 1T will
never be forgiven, Jennie'-and he
proved to be right; it never was"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03
What Constitutes a Farmer.

The following extract we clip from
very interesting address, delivered by
Maj. VIM. J. Sykes, in Brownsville.
Tenn: To he a perfect farmer a man
shOuld combine reading, observation and
practice. A man may work in the fields
all his life and be poor farmer. We
should gain knowledge and by reading
and study, and also by what we see
around ia, and then this knowledge must
be put into practice. Our views, il they
will not stand the test of actual expert
mqnts, are worthless. All sound theory
is based upon practice, and all sensible
practice is the result OF well grounded
information. whether learned by our
own observation, or from the experience
of others. That theory which will moi
stand the test Of experience is worthless
and that practice which il not based mp
on sound theory IL equally worthless.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

LARGE WHEAT FIELD-Among the
thoroughbred business men OF Abilene,
is T. c. Henry, the prince of wheat
growers, and the great land agent of cen
trail Kansas. The success Of his wheat
crop the past season encouraged him to
enlarge his field to twenty seven hundred
acres, which is looking tplendidly. As
the impression prevails very generally
that he only seeded his field Of 1900
acres, It may be Of interest to orr readers
TO state that the first mentioned figures
are correct. Col. VIM. Mace, Of LecomP
ton seeded the old field. and Mr.. Thist.
Ter, Of this place, another field OF four
teen hundred acres. all of which brInngs
to Mr.. Henry Cor. Kansas City Jour
nal
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03

Mr.. Siplry, n noted hermit, Of Pike
county. Pa, is dead. lie was formerly
a wealthy merchant of New York
City, but failed in business. His re-
verses 30 preyed on his mind that he fed
to a wild. desolate place. several miles
from any habitAtion. There for thirty
Eve years he has sustained himself by
fishing and hunting.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03
The Police Court.
AN AwFUL LIAR.

Phineas johnson Crane was q very
tall Young man with hacking cough,
and as soon rs brought ont he said:
81 protest against this style OF well
coming me back to the home Of my
birth"
"The officers are ordered to bring in
all the drunkards they can," replied His
Honor.
"Drunkard. Who's a drunkard?" sx-
claimed the prisoner.
"Weren't you drunk"
"No, sirr'
Didn't they find you lying on a box
back of the dollar store?"
"Heavena and sunHr gasped Crane;
"why, was on the ferry-boat when they
took me! The officer raid I was wanted
for forgery, and here yon 20 and charge
ME with drunkennessl want my trial
for forgery right here and nowp
Two officers swore to finding the man
so drunk that they had to wheel him
down.
"Now, see here" said the prisoner;
''there'a a mistake all around. l am the
Mayor Of Chicago. but ! Iprobably look
like some criminal. I'Il .ccept the apol-
oRy and call it square"
"If you repeat the assertion that you
are Mayor of Chicago ZIP fine you ffty
dolIars" said His Honor.
Chicago? Who said anything about
Chicago / said Milwaukee,"
"You are not she Mayor of Milwau-
kee !"
81 haint. eh?''
"No, sir"
"Well, I've letters right here to show
that am Toledo Alderman"
Let ME zee them"
"They are down to the hotel" said
the prisoner, after feeling in his pockets.
IL want it understood that am none OF
your Detroit plugs!"
81 understand il" replied His Honor,
as he picked mp his pen, "and up you GO
for four months"
'I'm aent up, am I?'
"Yes, sir"
"Well, the Indianapolis Board oi
Trade will see to this thing. You just
keep cool. and il ihIs town don't"
His words died away as Bijah hurried
him along down the corridor, but after q
moment he was heard singing:
live in old Virginia,
And own some forty mules,
And though I'm now in prison
I'll not obey your rules.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03


The Luxurious Iarte oI Americans is
sometimes carried into science. as it is
into social life. A microscopist has re-
Gently ordered Of Messrs. r. & J. Beck,
Of London, a microscope with COM
plete set Of apparatus, constructed in
@plid silver. The instrument il one Of
the best made by the firm. and is the
most costly ever manufactured. The
market price was G500; and il is esti-
mated that the dnty, exchange, premium
"n gold, etc, will run the total expense
mp to about S., 700. As silver is said to
be one Of the worst metals that could he
nsed IN the manufacture Of microscope,
the owner Of this instrument has been
gnilty of bad judgment as we'll as bad
taste. and it is predicted OF HIM that hr
will never DO any valuable work with it.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03
THE OTHER SIDE.

The next prisoner was not q liar. The
truth WAS in him, and he made il point
to speak the truth. As he toed the mark
he said:
my name is Jonas Clark, and ! eK-
pect was just as drunk as any man
could get"
"You own right up. do your" asked
His Honor.
81 never lie." replied the prisoner. 81
was going out to steal some poultry, when
met friend and got drunk"
"You steal hens. do you?"
81 have stolen hens"
Have, eh? Ever steal anything
else?"
"Yes, sir"
Ever in jail?"
"Twice in Jail and once in State
Prison?"
"You must be hard case, Mr.. Clark. d"
"Yes. sir; suppose I'm the toughest
customer in town."
After an earnest look at the prisoner
His Honor asked:
"Did you ever murder anyone"
81 have, sir" was the calm reply.
There was a break In the conversation.
| The Court scratched his head, looked
around and said:
well, you may gol don't want to
send you to the House of Correction on
charge Of drunkenness when you are
liable to be arrested for murder and sen,
up for life"
The prisoner was 10th to leave, and as
Bijah let him out he asked:
what sort of story must tell "a
get mp there where can get square liv-
ing until navigation opens?"-( Detroit
Free Press.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03
NUMBER At.
COlOring Cheese.

The preference for coloring cheese i.
one Of the slranRest commercial infatua.
iions we are acquainted with. The
Yorkshire people, shrewd as foxes in
things generally. have a notion that
plain cheese is not genuine for some rea-
sans or other, that it is not 40 rich as
the other, whereas it is really the color.
ed cheese that il not genuine-that is
actually adulterated with annatto Ia
prodnce the deep tint which they un.
wisely prefer. If these good people
were tn taste just a teaspoonful Of annat-
TO, such a. is used to color cheese with,
We venture to predict they would eschew
colored cheese for the future. However
this fallacy is gradually being extin.
guiShed.-CI4ondon Agricultural Ga.
zette
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-03-03


The speed of railway trains in Ger
many is illustrated by report Of the
railway bureau OF the Empire for the
month Of December. 1875. The great
est speed per hour. including stops at
intermediate stations, was, for express
and fast trains. thirty four miles on the
Berlin. Hotsdam & Madgeburg Road;
for ordinary passenger trains. thirty-fonr
mile- per hour on the Maerchen & Posen
Road. The slowest speed was, for ex-
press and fast trains. tweniy-one miller
per hour on the East Prussia Southern
Road; for ordinary passenger trains. six
teen miles per hour on the Ermsthal and
the Cromberg. roads Of Wnrtem burg.
The average speed per hour was, for ex-
press and fast trains, twenty eight miles;
Tor ordinary passenger trains, twenty
one miles. This estimate is for the
whole empire, except Bavaria.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-05-14
PRENTICE.

A late issue OF the Cincinnati En-
quirer contains u peculiarly malicious
lie, manufactured out of whole cloth,
IN reference 10 the treatment OF the
Into George ID, Prentice during the last
years OF his life, by Mr. Wnllerson,
Mr.. Haldemap, and the other mem
hers OF the COurior-JOlrndi company,
Tho ENQUIRER says; "a few years DO
fore his death the present managers OF
the C0urier-JoTndt kicked the ola
yen lcman out OF their office because
he was no longer able 10 earn the pal
try salary which was assigned HIM
Public sentiment compelled them to
reInstato him" There Is not word
of truth or the shadow OF n foundation
for this abatement One Of the editors
of The HERALD was on the editorial
staff OF tho C0urier.JonnM from the
time Mr.. Watterson purchased Mr..
Prentioe's interest In the journal, re-
taInlng Mr.. Prentice an lending writer
up to aud after the consolidation OF the
Courier and Journal, and until hlf
death. During all this time about two
years) Mr.. Prentice was always treated
with the greatest dellcacy, Difference
and respect by Mr.. Watterson and
rybody about the office. Lilo drew
M large II salary ~ any one, and M the
company could afford. HIa inhrmiiy
was overlooked; he was privileged
character; aud no sou could have min
lstered moro tenderly TO u father than
Mr., Henry Watterson did TO Mr.. Prem
tlce during the lust years and days OF
hIa life. Every attention that love for
tho man and reverence for his genius
and character could prompt, waa
shown him while living, and bis re'
mains aud memory after death.
This IL not the first time this piece
Of dirty venom has been put In clrcu'
latlon, aud II affords The HERALD
particular satisfaction TO nail this
specimen OF the highest type OF Gin
cinnatl lilo to the counter; and the
thousands OF Texan readers OF that
matchless paper, the Cotrier-Jou'ndi,
will thank w for refuting 10 foul u
Islander upon Henry Watterson, one Of
the most gifted and brilliant journalists
OF modern times.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-05-14

DALLAS, May 10, 1876
To the Editor OF the Dallas Herald.
You certainly print magnificent
daily and publish a mammoth supple.
mental sheet not to be sneezed at, II
considered from the standpoint view
OF a great private enterprise, so far
away out In the interior, almost Mt the
extreme end of civilization. And both
papers, for typographical accuracy and
mechanical work, are far superior to
hundreds Of newspapers printed "away
down east" and north OF Mason and
Dixon's line. But in the composite
make up of matter in the supplement
you commit one grievous error In re-
gard to the "Great Needs OF Texas'' I'm
the way of immigration. You should
state emphatically that this section of
the State is literally overruu with the
"out-of-work," out OF employment
people Of the North and East, seeking
work, and no work for them here to do,
Italics mine.) There are at least one
hundred applicants for every vacancy
for places for laborers, and fourth as
many for every vacant clerkship, me-
chaDical labor and salesman. The
consequence Is you are crowding your
snterprising, go-a-head city, emphatic.
ally 1.-THE Denver OF the Prairies,n
with an Immense number OF idle peo
pie, non-producers, who finally will
become paupers and charge to the
,ity Yours, EMIGRANT.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-05-14

IT WOULD afford us the greatest graft
fication to print DR.. David w. Yondell'.
letter upon Texas as printed in the
CoWier-Journdi in full, but our limited
space only permits us to make extracts
from it. He commences by saying
"a splendid body of men are those
Texas doctors, Enterprising, ambitious
men; strong, hardy men; Astounding in
courage, selfreliant. full of zeal in their
calling their shelves crowded with the
works of the masters, and ON their ia.
bles lying the leading medical journals
of the day with big brains and biz
hearts, they will do much to mold and
direct the new civilization which il he.
ing developed with such marvellous
rapidity in this young but powerful
commonwealth" and after vivaciously
describing his trip over the sunset route
to San Antonio, he thus takes of that
pleasant city;
A word only Of San Antonio. An old
darkey living In Jacksonville, Florida,
was asked last winter by Massachu.
sets doctor what he managed TO get to
eat in that town. "why, massa," he re-
piled, "as for me, live mainly on Ash
and strangers" Well, San Antonio il
made up mainly Of Germans and Mexi. |
cona ffhara a., "a $500. 49,.