Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-05-03
Eunnygraphs.


DISTURBING the Taking a so
Der man laugh.
WHEN is a fowls neck like a bell!
When it is wrung for dinner.
The individual who was accidentally
injured by the discharge of his duty is
still very low.
A MAN has eye-dentifed himself with
lamp-post by running against one and
injuring his sight.
AN exchange speaks of a woman so
crosseyed that when she weeps tears
from her left eye they drop on her
right cheek.
The spring style of hand organ has
only one stop. It begins in the morn
ing and stops at night Vicksbavy Her.
aid.
A CHICAGO lady, whose lord and mas
ter INDUCES rather freely in the conviv-
ial glass, says he is kind but indulgent
husband.
A SHARP Englishman has written
treatise on razors." By the way we
have seen razor with a treatise writ,
ten on it, icks5aay Herald.
How one thing brings up another =
said lady, absorbed in pleasing retro
spection. "Yes," replied the practica
Dobbs, " an emetic, for instance"
Tom THUMB is going to Texas to live
and the Chicago Times thinks that som
day we shall hear of Tom being waylai.
and abducted by Texas grasshoppel
Now they say the report of tina
shower of flies in Canada is tru
enough if you knock the "f" off
flies. They aften have such showers i
Washington.-Va cksbury Herald.
A MUSICIAN in Elkhart advertises
give instructions in music "from fir
principles to thoroughbore." An inte
view between the teacher and tb
proof-reader has probably taken plae
ere this.
A WOMAN in Omaha, 100 years.
age, has had her grave clothes on hal
for fifteen years" Unless said cloth
consist solely Of pair of gloves, v
should think they would make her har
tired Tacksbury Herald.
"SAPPHo was about the first woms
who struck a Tyre. There may ha~-
been other women as able as herse
but the Tyres were scarce" Sappl
could have struck heap of them
Congress assembled Cincinnati Sata
day Night.
LANDLORD (Who has been away SOL
time, comes back and meets one of
large family: Is that you, Dan
"No, sorr" "It is you, then, Mike
"No, sorr." deuce take you all;
it you, then, Barney?" "Sure, sorr.
was jist me livery time"
DEAN SWIFT has found an initial
An advocate of Colmar has left {
hundred thousand francs to the 10
madhouse. Il got this money"
the candid lawyer in his will, "ou
those who pass their lives in Etigat'
in bequeathing it for the use of luna
| only make restitution"
IT is feared the last cold snap d.
aged the buds on the Keely motor:
it will not bear fruit this year. Al
has accomplished thus far has beer
go on a BUST" and kick out the ps
ton Of the room In which it is kept.
tWenty-seven dollar mule would b
done as we'll Vicksbauy Herald.
AN impecunious Tut ingenious tra
has left the colored population
Georgetown, Texas, poor in pocket
sore in body by initiating them, at
dollars and a half a head, into
lodge of Free Masons." The primo
part of the ceremony, next to pa,
the fee, consisted in tying the ca
date on a table, face downward,
branding him with a hot poker.
SEQUEL to the death of Mary's
lamb.
So now that darling little lamb,
They've had to go and bury.
We wish to add another verse
Perhaps twill comfort Mary.
Rest, faithful little follower,
Your pastures green and grass
We hope you may, till the last de
Reqaaescdt IN pace.
WHEN is lady's dress like an vi
tunate bull-fghter? When it is PC
And when is it like partisan? v
it is blasted. And when is it Ii
topper? When it is full. And wht
it like the sails of ship? When
trimmed. When is it like a seas,
the year? When it is lent. VIII
it no longer fit for use? After
has once worn it out
THERE have been some ra
changes in the last century. A
dred years ago they kissed Ii
hand; now you kiss her lips-tha
of course, if you happen to be be-
the wood pile and nobody is look
and you don't want to disappoint
1t may take 100 years to get from
hand to her mouth, but we never
that the time was misspent.-Nor
Bulletin.
DURING a recent performance
Paris theater, man and his
had quarrel on the staga-the wo1
in rage Of jealousy, the man try
to persuade her that she was too
picious and too passionate. Both "
acting with great spirit, when the
moved her arm too near a CANDLE
her muslin dress was in flames in
instant. Both actors kept their p1
encc of mind, however. The husba
.extinguished the flames, and, procet
ing with his part, interpolated, "Y,
see, my dear, l was right; you al
ready to flare up for the least thing"