The Arizona sentinel., 1876-10-21
MISCELLANY.

LADIES nate the Chinese woman is
because the latter have smaller
feet.
Nothing pleases a conscientious
bachelor so much as to dine with
a married friend and see the baby
put his foot into the gravy.
When a Canada girl fins that
she is loving in vain, she writes
letter saying: Here is a Iox of
my hare" and then leaps into
pond and comes out dead.
John Kitten, of Illinois, claims
to be 10S years Old. Ifthat Kitten
is ever to be recognized as cat, it
is about time he was at it.
1t is only human nature after
all that, In telling a story. man
lies twice as much where he dates
1t back ten years as where he goes
back only one or two.
Nearly every man tells his wife
there is another man in town who
closely resembles him. and who
is frequently seen coming out of
saloons.
A Manayunk man who "sWore
Of'' last New Years day, has com
menced to drink whiskey to cure
mosquito bites. He says musqui-
toes are worse than rattlesnakes.
YES" says an old Missouri far
mer, 81 believe in mental cutter
walton. Next to cultervating corn,
believe its the profilabIist thing
a man can do unless it's CROWN
pork"
An Irish agricultural journal
advertIseS new washing. ma
chine under the heading. Every
man his own washer woman"
and in his eulianry department
says that potatoes should always
be boiled in cold water"
A pOmpOus individual walked
up to the bar of a seaside hotel,
and with considerable flourish
signed the book, and exclaimed,
Il am ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS of
-" THAT don't make any
difference" said the landlord;
"you will be treated just as well
as the others"
Major 6tokely, of Philadelphia,
received Il letter a few DAVIS ago
containing a request from the pro
fesSiOnal thieves of the city to
have a day set apart when they
could visit the Exposition with
out fear OF being captured and
imprisoned for ninety days. Were
the request granted the suppliants
would, on the day specified, act
in perfect orderly and law-abid-
ing manner.
my dear" said Phil Sheridan
to his wife. the other day, you'll
have to take care Of the boy now. |
l must go and look after the In
dams " "Well, if you must go, |
Philip" said she, bravely, 81
must bear up under it. But re-
member the advice Of the Spartan
mother; and if you can't bring
your hair back with you, you'd |
better stay there. / amt going
to have any scaIped man tr0tting
me and baby rOund-nOt if | know |
lt'"-B|ttngtOn Hamkeye.
set DOWNr-A member of
Congress, ambitious to make at
least one speech for the gratfica-
ton OF his constituents, thus be-
gan: "Mr. Speaker, the generaii-
ty of mankind in general are gen
orally disposed to exercise Oppres-
sion upon the generality of man,
kind in general" "Set DOWN.
whispered ajudicious friend, pull.
ing at his coat-tails, you're com
ing out of the hole you went in
at" He sat down once for all;
his voice was heard no more in
that hail.
Ihere was a very pleasant dOna-
non party, and the company sang
I'VE give up all for heaven"
with deep feeling, but the next
day the minister expressed de-
sire to resign. He said that three
quarts OF beans, apillOw case of
dried apples, two pounds of head
cheese, pan Of twisted dough.
nuts, aDda calico dressing gown
were undoubtedly very valuable
In their way, but they seemed to
him to form an unnatural basis to
preach sound theology from.