Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1876-01-06
Rates cf Advertising.
Announcing Candidates.
heavier, | reckoud
Sly ou astonish me g

HNe'Si, lcchUuu
S.-"You astonish me g
CdPt.-"Oh tba. amt nothing They
did that jast for little bit of fun. Tho
chief ho told me tht day before that thew
never ct nothing br. human beiogs. Ho
said his family consumed about three
day all the year rotnd, counting holidays
and Sundays Ho gas light eater him>
self' he said' on asSpunt of Citing dys>
pepsia from tough niger that he ct in
in 1917 but the girls and the old woman
SO he soid, were YER. hearty eaters, and it
kept him busy proving around after hu.
man beings to satisfy 'em. The old
woman, he said, rather preferred to eat
babies, on account Of her teeth being
poor; but the girls they could chaw up
the grizxlicst sailor that ever went aboard
ship.
S.-"This is frishtfal.'
Capt.-"And the .heif said sometimes
the supply was awfu, scarce, but lately
they had begun to depend more on i'm.
ported goods than on the home products.
And they were bcttei anyhow for all the
folks preferred white meat. IIc said the
missionary societies were shipping them
some sice lots of pro, ender, and the tears
came In bis eyes wheI he said how good
they were to the popr frendless savage
away OIL on distant Island. lie sdid he
like missionsry not 90 uli or too young
bullets see what's your age, did YOU
fOy?'
S,-"l am twonty>'ight"
Cdpt.-"I think he mentioned tweu'y>
seven; but howsomedsver he liked 'em
old enough to be solid and young enough
to be tender, Aud h. sud he liked mis-.
Slonaries because they never used no rum
or tobacco and always kept their flavor. |
know seen one young feller who came
out there from Bosan. He got up
kinder camp meeting in tho wood and
while he was giving ous tbs hymn ono of
the congregation banged him on the head
with club, and in les, than 20 tine he
was sizzling over fte right in front of
the pulpit. They lit the fire with his
hymn book, and kept aer going with his
sermons. lie was min just about your
built-a littls leauet'u you may be. And
they like man to be stoutish. lie eats
more tender
S.-I had no idea that such awful prsc.
tccs existed"
Cdpt--"I haven'ttAd you half, for I
don't want to discourage you. I know
you mean we'll, and nay be they'll let
you alone. But reraember the cheif
asked me about the divinity school, and
when told him that there was a whole
lot Of you fellers stuoJing there to be
missionaries he laughed; and rubbed his
hands, and ordered tie old woman to
plant more horseradish and onions the
following year, lie was forehanded
kind of man for mere pagan. lie said
that if they would only give his tribe time
if they would send along the supplies
regular, SOS not to glut The market, they
could put away the entire clergy Of the
United States and hslf tlio deacons, witb>
out and effort. He was nil bling at a mis-.
sionary bone when he spoke, and the old
woman was making ueg club out Of an
other one. They afo an economical peo~
pie. They utilize everything
S.-"This is the most painful intclli>
gence that l have ever rcdeiyed. III felt
certain about it | would semain at home.
Capt.-"Don't let me induce YOU to
throw the thing up. | couldn't a told
anyway, only you kinder llrawed the in.
formation out of me, Aad as long Eve
gone this far | might as veil tell you that
| got letter the other d.y from a man
who'd just come from there, and lie said
the crops were short, oataa ale people were
scarce, and not one them e'awges bad had
a square meal for months. When he left
they we're sitting on the eek hungry as
thunder, waiting for n ssonary society
ship to arrive. And now Imust be going.
Good.by. | know I'll never sne you
again. Take a last look a. me, aud don't
boiler when they put you IN the gridiron.
Good-mornipg.'
Then the captain bobbla out.
Mr. Spooner has conclu1.ed to stay at