The Osceola times., 1876-10-14
FACTS AND FANCIES.


litions Of evil, but they are worse than
their outbursts Of noble enthusiasm.
THERE il nothing more truly insinu-
ating and deferential than the wagglc Of
little dogs tail in the presence OF q big
dog with bone.
"TIME waits for no man." That's
another. Doesn't time always wait for
a man to get firmly seated on the TOP
rail before 1t breaks?
KATE FIELD il also mad at Joaquin
Miller. She says she can't respect man
who sleeps with his head at the foot Of
the bed.
GENERAL DIX has got % old an
feeble that he can no longer zee a worm.
hole In an apple, and every insect nus'
look outfor himself
"WE expect the Great Father 10 feed
and clothe US rs long a. welive," tenderly
remarked one of the Indians who had
thirteen scalps hanging In bis lodge.
TAxIDERMIsTs are new busy stufins
white doves, which arc In large demand
for rsom decorations. there being Q ~,
pcrstition among some classes that they
bring peace to the apartments where they
are hung.
MANS inhumanity to man is too
familiar to require any explanation, but
mans inhumanity to woman is perhaps
best illustrated by the care he exercises
in forming circle around dog fight, 81
that passing female must climb lamp
post to get view Of the proceedings.
THE day has come when manufacture
ers can take calves feet and work them
up into delicious strawberry Jelly, and
raspberry Jam, but that's a. far as they
can go when they can tackle q calls
head with success, rome folks will be
missed from society.
DoCroR: ~ am pleased to say, Mrs.
Fitzbrown, that ] shall be able 70 vac
cinate your baby from . very healthy
child OF your neighbor, Ms. Jones'" Mn.
Fitzbrown: "Oh, dear doctor, ] could
not permit that! We do not care TO b
mixed up with the Joneses in any way"
THR first step toward making man Of
your son Ia to train him to earn what be
spends then the best way to teach him
to he frugal Ia to take away his money a.
fast as he earns II, and spend II wisely
for yourself. There is nothing like
teaching the young by example.-Bsr.
iington Hdwksye.
A WAITER advertising for situation
says he can "fold napkins in three hum
dred different ways" but what the
boarding community wants most just
now is waiter who carry dish Of soup
without soaking the 6nt joint Of his
thumb In 1t.
"TAIN'T no usc in your cryin'," said
heartless maiden 10 her prostrate lover !;
"I wouldn't marry you II you were the
last man on earth" Well, Mary" he
replied, breathing through his nose with
great difficulty, "you'll lend me your
pocket handkerchief, won't your"
YEARS ago, when painter wanted 10
depict wholesale anguish he went for
inspiration to the place where criminals
were tortured to death; but now he finds
a better and more convenient subject in
the young man in the front seat al the
theater whose tall collar has become un-
buttone1 behind.--G. Louis Reps6tican.
LIVING.
We can only live once and Deaths terress
With lfe's bowers and roses entvioe.
And our lives would be darkened w errcrs
Did We even, like cats, p ~ess niuei
They would be perhaps al Of them wasted,
And be recklessly wJuAndered away,
And not half Of the Joys would Be tasted
That one LIE can embrace IN sday.
Let the lives thst We live he worth livisg;
Let the DAYS that ve spend be we'll spent;
Let us save for the pleasure Of giving
And not borrow at nfty per cent;
Let us never cease loving and learning,
And use life for its nobest Of ends.
Then when dsst to its dat Ia returning
We shall live in the hearts Of our friends.
A WELL known author was about 10
read new piece in the green.room Of q
West End theater, when, before CON-
mencing. young and charming actress,
who is always remarkable for the elegance
Of her toilets, smirkingly said: my
dear Mr., Is the part you have written
for me well within my powerT Per
fec,ly," replied the author. you have
to change your dress seven times" J"
TOMMY is fond of sugar, and asks his
mother for some to eat with bis straw.
berries. She refuses He appears re.
signed, but adds gravsly: You know,
mamma, what happened round the cor
nerS There was a little boy, and his
mother would not give him any sugar on
his Strawberries, and" And"
And next day he fell into we'll"
ABOUT nine o'clock the other morning
one of our most active business men was
heard to say: 81 am going to be worked
to death again to-day. I've got TO get
that letter In ,he postofiice before night,
and It isn't directed yet, and there is no
stamp on it either. That will take n
hour. and then it will be too late 10 90
to the postofiice, except in hack, and
there ,is nobody about to help me into
it.-.S. Louis Globe Democrat.
AT the distance of twenty miles from
Carter station, on the Union Pacific rail-
way, is situated a remarkable coal-mine.
1t Is about four miles in length, and con-
sists OF sixteen veins, lying one above
another, with thin layer OF sandstone
intervening. The bottom vein is the
thinnest (fve feet), while the one next
above is over seventy.6ve ieet in thick
ness. A few feet above this is vein Of
sixty feet, another Of forty succeeding,
and 10 on, making in all about four hun
dred feet Of coal. The veins eolpe at an
angle of about twenty-five degrees, and
are very easy of access.
FABLE.
A &C -tsin bird iu certain vocd,
Feeling the spring-time warm and good
sang 10 it, in melodious mood.
ON other neighborng branches stood
Other birds who heard his song;