Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-12-22
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Michael Coulter, Of San Francisco, is a
bold but not a judicious lady's a AS
he Went to his work in the morning ard
returned to his supper in the evening, he
passed a little dress-maker's shop, and al
ways paused to smile and throw a kiss to
the young sewing women at the window.
Finally he wrote a 1oyeletter to the pref
tiest of them, and she read it aloud at the
sewing circle. The maideus were aroused
and put their heads together. An invita-
ton to walk by moonlight was accepted
and a place of meeting named. AT seven
PM, he stood on the curbstone and warb-
led the chaste melody, "I love but thee,
with a love that shall never die, till the
sun grows cold" Suddenly five muscular
forms, clad in womanly drapery, sprang
upon him and five hickory sticks hammer
ed his soft head. Michael Coulter of San
Francisco, his coat-tail streaming in the
wind and his face shining in the moon
light, ran down the street and took refuge
in a stable.
LET US have peace" said President Grant.
AS he seated himself in the chair of state !;
But all of his words have been words of
cant,
And all OF his acts have been acts of hate.
"Let no guilty man escape said Presi-
dent Grant,
When justice was hunting the Govern
ment thieves,
But his terrible threat was ridiculous rant,
And he quickly repented by granting re-
prieves.
"The count must be honest" says Presi-
dent Grant,
"For fraud in elections, we know, never
pays )"
ga fair and just count" is what we all
want,
"And Kellogg can do it-and elect Mr..
Hayes"
lie waited for his oyste r stew
Aud drummed upon his plate
A solo with his plated fork.
And thus did mediate:
81 think one plate will not suffice;
I think I would not rue it.
If [ should take another dish
I'll do it, yes I'l duet"
He took his stew, he took his two,
And then he heaves a sigh, o.
And murmured in the walters ear,
"Another dish III trio"
Another, and another still,
In fact. when he had ceased,
This human oyster depot had
A quart-ette at the least.
WHAT A LITTLE GIRL WANTS CHRIS
KINGLE TO BRING HER.-ssI want you to
fetch me a doll with curls if you can, an d
bring me one little ring, and a pair of
bracelets, one long comb and a Little can
dy, if you please, and a little horse, and
one little watch and bed, and a little chest
to keep my dolls clothes in. and d little
locket, and a looking glass, and a little
pig and a hood and stove and tea ket tie
and tea set, and one little knife. ole pair
of IRONS and one little. waterproof cloak.
for Dolly, and coffeeupot and one bottls. III
hair oil, and anotl Z RIG with a set
ON it,
A maiaen la Z her little nephew ::
Now, Johu go to bed early, and
alway41sAgShd you'll be rosy checked
and handsome when you grow up" John-
nv thought over thisa few minutes, and
then observed: swell aunty, you must
have set up a good dealHKhen you were
young"
Several holes we're charg "a drift in
a Gold Hill mine. One blast failed to go
off. One of the miners was ordered to go
in and see what the matter was. mo,
sor." he said, firmly 81 was blowed up in
Californy vance that way, an I'd rather
lave me work than be kilt agin.'
irate subscriber (excited and pointing to
an Objectionable article)-''What does that
mean? Every statement is false" Editor
gazing refectively at the article in ques-
tion)-'I shouldn't wonder If the whole
article were a typographical error.
This is the grandest, mightiests most
glorious republic that ever blessed the
world, and yet, with all it's power and learn
ing and greatness. it can't make an infu-
rated woman stop in the middle of a sem
tence and listen to an explanation.
Taking a cigar out of his naouth, the
minister said to one of his par%ishionerss fond
oi SiN9tpliiS III SeiHaon~tilHe 1AeIo 10 Ho
sleeping car on the road to heaven" "And
no smoking car, either I reckon. }" said the
Juan in reply, now wide awake.
A woman's hand. How beautifully
moulded, how ~faultless in symmetry, how
soft ard white and yielding, and oh, how
much of gentle memory its pressure con-
weys! Yet we don't like it in our hair.
look upon a boy as q nuisance until he is
past the age of sixteen, when he generally
doubles up i'll value each year, until, like
a n,eersehaum pipe he is priceless.
Sam D. says that pretty girls are like a
consectioaeEsaSin, more ways than one
They ara eftley are expensive, and