Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-10-25
sQUIBs.

LII faflS, street muSlclans urdS
pianos about.
Schuyler Colfax will soon visit the
Pacific coast on lecturing tour.
A Winslow Qnd.) democrat stoned
a republican procession Sl8 worth.
A good many men over in Turkey
continue to sicken and die from hav-
ing their heads cut of.
The st. Lawrence is the only river
in the world which enjoys the SYM
metry Of having its head larger than
its mouth.
A passcr-by asked why he was eat
ing those rinds. The answer was
conclusive: "Coz some other feller
has eaten the core y
A French journalist thus describes
the difference between the Serbs and
Turks: "rhe former cut off the left
ears of their prisoners. the latter the
fright"
Mr.. Deecher advises every young
man not to run in debt. This is COM
mon advice. but the Plymouth pastor
| makes this addcndum: "But if you
| feel that you must run in debt, let ii
be for little home."
Governor John l.. Routt, of Colo
RADIO, commenced his life at Is with a
stirring disposition, $40 in money, a
girl-wife, and few clothes fitted to
the station, if not very well to the
form, of each.
The Detroit Free Press has it from
good authority that Wisconsin III
dians haven't yet decided how they
will vote, but look askance at the can
didates and sadly ask: "How much
whisky for how much vote ?"
A Boston preacher said to his con-
gregation the other day, in reference
to Mrs. Woodruff, that there are
"two Victorias in the world, one at
the top and the other at the bottom of
her Sex"
| The Worcester (Mass.) Press, has
come to the conclusion that "the in
dependent voter seems to occupy
about the same position in Massachu-
setts politics that the sea-scrpent oc-
cupics in natural history-his name is
much more familiar than his FORM"
Cole Younger says that he is proud
to say he vas raised by religious par
ents and attended Sunday school in
boyhood, and, too. had charge Of a
Bible class while in Texas, at Scyne,
Dallas county. He has been very PEN
itent over his wrong-doing ever since
his capture.
Then she went sadly into her bou-
doir and kissed the photograph of
her first husband, whispering in soft
world to me. He promised to give
me new silk, and hc's ordered home
only calico. Why did I marry again ~
Nv. O. Bulletin.
A Russian army officer, with a
name in nine sections, and an "ski,"
is about to be married to New York
lady, and all sorts Of novel features
are expected at the ceremony. The
eight bridesmaids are to wear dresses
trimmed with Russian fur, and band
of music is to keep the organist out
Of a job.
Even discouragement does not kill
the wit in some men. He was down.
hearted by reason Of business embar'
rassments, and friend to whom ht
made known his troubles said =
"Cheer up! You will yet make your
mark" To which the troubled mar
responded: 81 can write my name.
l-Lo,cel (lHass.) Courier.
i A Kansas orator talks in this strain
i"Where is Europe with America: NJ
whar! Where is Great Btitain? No
whar! They call Britain the mistress
of the sea, but what makes the sea
The Mississippi river makes it, ant
all we've got to do is to turn the Mis-
sissippi river into the Mammotl
Cave and the British navy will be lef
floundering in the mud"
They have a year old Lying societ,
in Colchester, Conn.,, one of who's
laws is that, if the word of any mem
ber shall, under any circumstances
, be construed by any other membe
, as bearing any resemblance to trutl
the offender shall be expelled. The,
: are in trouble now, for, at the prcscn
| election of officers, nobody dared Il
| believe the presidents declaration o
the vote, and they don't know wha
to do about it.-NeU York Comme1
, cidl Advertiser.
i Newspapers have to be very eau
i tious in Canada, where spicy para
graphs are expensive luxuries. 4
,, very super-sensitive young man o
Toronto has sued local paper 70
stating that his friends had presente'
him with meerschaum pipe when n
presentation had taken place. A
Montreal the Grand Jury has indicte,
NJ. Euclide Roy for mentioning in tn
,, National that NJ. Dansereau, of tn
j lMiaerre, and his wife were at one Q
.. Aimee's performances.