The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-01-22
VARIETY.

There is no special style of engraving engage
ment rings. spiders web with fly in it is a
very pretty device.
AS long as a woman can attend an auction and
buy three links of rust-eaten stove-pipe for sixty
cents, she will not worry about suffrage
VERY WICKED HIM.-In n case of hydropho-
bia, the doctors say cauteriZe the wound. But we
know of young man bitten by love who caught
her eyes, and it made him great deal worse.
SwmxNGLY.-Mr Cod married Miss Fish, in
d Connecticut town, the other day. The affair
passed off swimmingly, and terminated in Cod
Fish-bal.
Nor A CIRCUXsTANCE.-Spilkins su - that all
the perils and terrors of q maelstrom are not q
circumstance to the horrors of hearing q female
strom on the piano, next door, from morning till
night.
Nor WoRD.-Sewing-ma men and in
surance agents don't want to say a word for six
months to the man who walked eighteen miles to
call for an advertised letter. and found that it was
a printed advertising circular.
REFUsED-A rural critic SAYS of the Wallace
Sisters, who are making tour of the States,
as They filed their pants perfectly The critics
wife refused TO believe that he wrote g parts"
WANTS TO KNow-Denyer wants to know why
every Eastern man that deserts his wife comes
right there to join the church, roll his eyes around
heaven.
bright little girl having been asked to write
. sentence introducing the word L" carrion,'' pre-
sented the following to her teacher: ' Bad chill
dren often carrion in church when they ought to
be quiet"
When Catherine, the wife of Martin Luther,
was sobbng with inconsolable grief over the body
OF their daughter, the great preacher said, ''Dons
take on so, WIFE, remember this is a very hard
world for girls"
Hrs OFrER.-Mark Twain having been invited
to contribute something to an Infant Asylum,
offered TO be one OF one thousand citizens '' who
shall agree to contribute two more of their
children to this enterprise.
HIS REPLY.-A little seyen-year-old boy was
recently told By his mother that she would start
him to school this session. Looking up in great
surprise, and shaking his head ominOusy, he re-
piled: +" can't 90 to school; l don't spell well
enough"
PIANo-FoRTE CENrENSIAL.-The centenary of
the invention of the piano-forte occurs in May.
Ii is proposed to gather all amateur players in
vast hall filed with pianos, set them all to claw
ing and pounding the wonderful instruments,
close the doors and set fire to the building.
INVESTED IT-A delinquent arrested for drunk
ennes. was asked in the police court what he had
done with his money. '' Invested 1t IN lots
WAS the reply What lots?', was the mex! next
serious face. There a laugh, and the justice
told him to go and come no more.
Duty AND CURIosITY.-A boy was sent for
doctor, his mother being very i'll, when looking
down the street he great crowd. Then came
a struggle between duty and curiosity; but he
finally started for the crowd. saying: The old
LADY, pretty badly of, but know she wouldn't
want me to miss that fight"
AS MUCH As ANY THING.-lt Is said that Presi-
dent Lincoln once said to Senator Fessenden
What is your religion?' - Not much to brag
of. but suppose | am much Unitarian as
any thing a." Oh, n Unitarian said Lincoln;
81 thought you might be an Episcopalian.
Seward is an Episcopalian, and notice you swear
about as he does"
"Only a lock of golden hair"
The lover wrote: "Perchance tonight
10 Iormeth on her pillow fair
A halo BRIGHT
Only q lock OF golded hair
The maiden, smiling, sweetly said
Q And she laid the back Of a chair,
And went TO bed
Detroit Free Press {" 4 wife will hardly ever
notice whether her husband has had his hair cut
or not, but let him come home with strange
hairpin sticking in his oyercoat and she'll see it
before be reaches the gate" .,,v