Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1876-05-06
NO. 10.
Items OF Interest.

A combination lock-The marriage
ceremony.
LazinesR travels so slow that poverty
soon overtakes him.
Times are called hard when lazy men
are obliged to work for living.
Mr.. James Gorden Benefits wedding
is said to have been postponed one year.
The best centennial notes reporter
can pick up are hundred dollar bills.
A person can walk eighty-four miles
in the Centennial buildings if he feels
likes it.
The ability to make money is talent;
the ability to keep it is two the ability
to use it wisely and well is ten.
A farmer writes to paper to ask
how long cows should be MIXED 2"
Why, the same as short COWS, of course.
An effort to save three cents will cost
a Hancock (Pa.) county man something
over hundred dollars. He merely
used the same postage stamp twice.
The editor of the Boston Post heard
very clever woman say 81 do not
wish anybody to do anything naughty,
but if they do, want to know all about
it"
The London correspondent of Liver
pool paper understands that the reason
why the queen did not read her own
speech at the opening of Parliament was
that she is unable to read without glass
es, and it was thought that the sight OF
the sovereign in spectacles would look a
little unmajestic.
The times are so dull that the police
men are in desperation. In Richmond
one of the guards of the city saw a man
standing on the corner, and went for
him. "I amt done nothing" said the
man. "Neither have 1" said the po-
liceman, "and I'll be turned out if L
don't do something"
A traveller was lately boasting of the
luxury of arriving at night, after hard
days journey, to partake of the enjoy
ment of well cut ham and the left leg
of goose. " Pray, sir, what is the pc
culiar luxury. of left legG" 'tSir, to
conceive its luxury, you must lind that
it is the only leg that is left.
st. Joseph man, one year married,
says that there is great deal in the ex-
preston of back comb to denote the
state of the domestic atmosphere. When
his wife's comb nestles quietly in its
proper place, all is we'll with him but
when it is lifted and leans forward he
says: "Look out for squalls. y
A Chicago boy who has been sitting
nights reading pirate stories, called his
father to supper the other day by bawl-
ing out: "What no, there, base craven!
Come hither to thy vesperian hash.
And when that father and that son came
together it sounded as if the butt had
slipped off twentyfoot fywheel.
A flat of seven or eight rooms on the
second floor, in a good location in New
York city, cannot be had for less than
from 81 500 to $4,000, while those on
the upper floors ere held at proportion
ately high figures. But these flats af.
ford facilities for genteel ''come down"
| for families who have been paying from
$4,000 to $4,000 rent in fashionable To-
calities.
A gentleman who, three months ago,
borrowed $40 from capitalist, to whom
he gave as security first mortgage On
his watch, went one Saturday to pay it
off, and was surprised rather than salts
fed to learn that his bill was 500, 16.
When he demonstrated with the capital
list the latter replied: "Well, the interest
looks high, but there are SO many losses
in this business"
OF the fifteen actually elected Presi-
dents of the United States, seven had,
before their elevation, been in the Sen
ate, and of the three who became Presi-
dents through the death of the actual
officer, two had been Senators. Those
who had not been in the Senate were
Washington, the first Adams, Jefferson,
Madison, Polk, Taylor, Lincoln, Grant,
and Vice President Fillmore.