Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-01-06
Taking q Drive.

The hostler, as he handed Mr. Creamlv
the reins, looked obviously at his go
bowed spectacles, and asked him in 80, go
q pertinent Compartment, acconi;na
Mr.. Creamy, would perhaps be the he
adjective) tone II he was used TO dr;vi,
and It was with vivid recollecfions ~ IS
family horses over whose back he h.S
ficked the braided lash in boyhoaSs.
sunny hours that he assumed jooL -
lofty surprise as he answered:
Certainly, my man-let go of HIS
head"
There are horses and horses.
The geometrical steed of Mr.. Olive,
Creamly's childhood, whose back bore
singular resemblance 10 the venerable bs;,
trunk which was in the attic. was irnne,
yious to fagellation, and indeed Oliver
thought he used rather TO enjoy il. excen.
when il reused him from the sweet s,ur,
bers in which he often lndulged in cor.
yeying him TO town.
But this horse of which we now speak
was an equine fiend, and Mr. Creamy ha3
hardly given the. order 10 the hostler. as
above stated, before he repented his rash
ness, and but for pride would have ex-
claimed, q Catch hold Of his bead" For
he Immediately tok occasion to erect
himself in sudden manner upon his hind
legs, and the thought fitted through Mr..
Creamly's agonized brain, what If he
should fall over backward and break me
somewhere
Mr. Creamly's wife was with him, and
ii is characteristic feature of her sex that
her first remark, after she had calculated
the words, Land OF comDassion'' were.
There / knew it would be just SOFA
remark by no means calculated TO soothe
the dominant passions surging beneath
Creamly's single breasted waistcoat.
But when the gallant steed lad once
more retouched his native earth, in slang
but expressive phrase, he got up and
busted" to that extent which reduced Mr.
Creamly's skill as "a driver To merely
frantic holding on with the hands TO the
reins and letting him dust" which he
did most literally.
Mrs. Creamy, with the usual sublimity
OF heroism that develops itself in the sex
under most trying circumstances, said she
guessed that she'd get out, as she saw that
her spouse didn't appear to know much
about driving; but as he braced his feet
anew and said: Whoa--grntly-good
horsie!" he indicated 10 her, with unmar-
ital sterRness, that if she didn't keep her
mouth closed she might lose her false
teeth.
Creamy concluded he must have been
going about seven miles minute when
the dreadful beast stopped suddenly and
Unexpectedly, at the same time executing
sidewise jump, which is called shy
ing" The cause was wheelbarrow by
the roadside propelled by small boy the
effect was a propulsion of Mr.. Oliver
4 I'D "A l,1r of
carriage, and the contactot his wife's head
with his spinal column.
Her remarks for obvious reasons we
forbear TO repeat, but they we're suggestive
of total loss of temper. One of the flow
ers of speech she used was "idiotic old
fool!n Perhaps she referred to the horse,
but judging from subsequent personal al
lusions this might be open to doubt.
And then the horse stood still in the dry
ditch by the roadside, occasionally look
ing around, as Creamy remarked:
" Back! backl sirp' with pendulous mo-
ton Of the under lip which was the near
est approach TO horse-laugh that was
suggested derision.
Then Creamy pulled on the reins, at
first gently and as his angry passions
surmounted his fears he pulled with We
hemence which, ii the reins did not break,
gave fair promise of drawing the beast
through the dasher.
Take the whip to him. said Mrs c.,
with irritability apparent in her voice;
and he did so, not without lnisgivings,
however, as gratuitous advice from the
same source had occasionally brought him
TO grief. Fortunately his wife sat down
ON the side of his head as the buggy went
over Perhaps she had a vague idea that
he was the horse and she was holding him
down, but she was mistaken, for that sa-
gacious animal was making excellent time
toward the livery stable, and. had the re-
mains OF the vehicle which he was pro-
pelling been right side up, we have no
doubt but that he would have reached
that haven of repose before the news OF
the mishap.
Il hope you're satisfied now" said
Mrs. Creamy, with an intense calmness,
born of suppressed wrath and despair, as
she shook the dust from her garments and
felt Of her back hair. Creamy buttoned
up his coat to hide his shirt-bossom,
which was In rags, scooped a thimbietul
of mud from his left eye, and shook some
loose gravel from his left ear; wiped the
blood from his nose with his torn coat
sleeve, and said that he was, perfectly,
and asked her, with show of asperity
and a scratched face, what she would have
done if she had been with an unskillful
driver, question she was too much dazed
10 answer, though the matter has been re-
ferred 10 by her several times since; but as
she is somewhat given to hasty figures OF
speech, we will drop the subject.
The stable-keeper drove up, with a
team, and asked Creamy if he knew what
he'd done, as he helped him in. Cream
ly thought the question supertiuous, as he
looked at his damaged clothing, and
thought of the topics of conversation his
wife would indulge in during the long
winter evenings after he had retired; but
he calmly said he thought he knew, and
asked the man why he gave him such a
horse to drive.
The stable-keeper was man fluent OF
speech and with an unpleasant readiness
OF profanity-but the gist OF his converse
ton was just this; that he thought any
fool could drive stable horse that VIM
men had driv for nigh seven year.
As Creamy remarked in the beginning
Of the discourse, he thought SO, too, and so
he told the man of the stable, but still he
did not appear satisfied.