Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1876-03-23
Hiss Brown's'' Experiences on n
Journey NOrthward.

M DCdr &faIr-Tne Germans have song
which, literally translated, begins Ike this:
when one On q Journey zoes
Then some thing lie can tell, OH
Wei, during recent journey ot mine,
found that we OF Washington have so many
things TO be proud OF, that feel like telling
a few OF them 10 our constitutional grumb-
lers, merely 10 put them into more con
tented frame of mind, you understand.
But, TO point my moral in approved style.
: must begin by stating tnat had met with
a loss OF valuable articles under the most
ainful circumstances, and that this same
about as much promise OF finding the
wanted as has q blind man in searching
For the traditional needle in a haystack.
The slight clue had pointed to New York,
end that Interesting village was, therefore,
objective point No. l. Now, everyone OF my
tear New York friends had shifted the air
IF Washington with perfect disdain. They
AL boa sted 50 much OF tue superiority
~ their Institutions, had found fault
With everything belonging To US even
he mud III our strctts-that felt as humble
and kmau as possible, and was perfectly
willing 10 lock at their narrow, crooked
streets with admiration in my eyes. Well,
mat meek and lowly state of miad lasted
iii we got into a street car; then, when
saw that filthy affair, and the rude, inatten-
tive conductor, with his bell punch strapped
inside his hand, fond memory recalled our
light, clean Avenue cars and polite platform
monarchs, and heaved the biggest kind of
sigh, telling my friend that, before he boosted
again, he should see that their cars were in
as Bart-fUl a condition as ours.
" lille trying to make him ''See" the point q,
The old rumble-box stopped, and after send
ing a runner 10 inquire what was the mat
ter, we found that, half mile ahead, a
dray man had Misunderstanding with his
mule-Odds in the mules favor-and that,
until one or the other was convinced, we
should have the pleasure OF resting-withOut
extra charge. y few squares farther another
stoppage OF ten minutes occurred, aud thai
time II was caused by some mathematical
genius planted in front OF the Tribune tower
] and trying TO find out the average elevation
between IL and the patriotism prompting tn
appropriation bill.
(By that time / was playing fatty Corum
counting five and twenty, with a vengeance }
When we alighted a nne, penetrating rain
| had set In, and 1 had view OF New YORK
mCu. Bah! growl at ours Why IL is 10
| circumstance to the black, sticky, four
| inches deep covering of the great metropolis.
From New York we went To the adjuncts,
| Brooklyn and HoboKen, and nowhere found
streets and pavements like ours; but instea
broken, upheaved stones, which gave the
streets an appearance OF being In a state of
chronic eruption, ana made one utter snort
prayers 10 oe kept ont of pitfalls and the lihs.
From there the trail pointed 10 Phila1el
| phia; and the next train landed US ia that
| delectahle home 0f Hon. 5. Randall, brs K
business, more nasty cars, bad pavemeuls,
| diSjointed streets. the Centennial grounds,
| and the coarsest, most unkind and diSob!!ging
| SCI OF police officials.
From our own gentiemanly chief. Nsilr
| that of Hoboken, TO all of whom | was a per-
feet stranger, / had received nothing out
kindLesS and courteous Assistance. But
when came with my request for al in "a Y
search 10 TIC chief OF the philadelphia police,
| he, type OF BTotherly Love, showed M OF 20
some unCerstrapper, who repeated the pro-
cess, al tltt1ittlHll, until L began To thin x
myself guilty Of high crime and rnisie-
meanor, in thus calling upon paid officials
for tie assistance which any man possessed
or manly feeling would give cheerfully TO a
fellow being in distress.
Wei, after all the time and money spent
in the search, to be foiled thus was Just what
no genuine member OF the Brown family
would consent TO be. 1t flashed into my
mind that the press might whip the police
into action; and soon i held the whip, in
shape Of a strong letter TO the mayor from
one of our editorial kings, in my hands, and
presto the change was accomplished. land
then, pc rhaps, / didn't read them a moral
lecture
Well, i'm unable to tell what they might
have accomplished-in year or so. | hap
peIed 10 confiCe my trouble 10 a gentle look
ing, pleasant gentleman who dined at the
same Ia BILE at the hotel, and an hour after
that he had accomplished what the whole
Pbilsdt Iphia police despaired of being able
TO do. Ny meek looking table neiehbcr was
Captain Franks, the detective.
Now thea, my dear STAR, after bearing
my story, do you wonder when say THAT we
may be proud OF having the cleanest, widest
streets, the best pave ments, most punctual
street cars, a Kind and courteous Major
Richards, and police force as obliging as
IL is efficient? MISS BRoWy.