Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1876-01-07
MULTUM In PARyO.

SOCldl SCdlcS.
Why is dogs tail like an elderly lady?
Because it is in-firm. 9fn8
CALIFORNIA is slightly more than twenty
times the size of Massachusetts.
A CORRESPONDENT asks: "Should a
hen feel proud when riding in a coop,
eh?'
A NUGGET was picked up near Auburn,
Cal, recently, valued at eighty -four dol
lars. .f,
WE know all about shooting stars, but
we often forget that this world of ours is a
revolver. assesses 9
KEROSENE smiles at that Boston gas ac-
cident and asks: "Now who's the most
dangerous ~
WHY is pig the most provident of ami
'aals? Because he always carries spare
rib or two about him. f ae
AN ALTERNATIvE-The legal course
which is open to England if the Khedive
don't pay his interest-Sue bis canal. ,I
A NEW ORLEANS clerk tried to kill
himself the other day, but after shooting
himself twice in the head without bring
ing himself down he gave it up in dis
gust.
iSALuTAToRY of the new editor of the
Madisonville (Ky.) Southwest; Good
morning. We intend publishing Demo
cratic paper. If you don't like it you
needn't read it, Sd rs at;4W al a4s soy
AFTER the clergyman had united
happy pair, not long ago, an awful silence
ensued, which was broken byan impatient
youth eXclaiming: . Don't be so un-
speakably happy''a 3o g8os ni
'sIT is all very well for you, my dear;
but when l.y husband grumbles and says,
why don't smart myself upin the FASH
ion, tells him beauty unadCrned don't
want no adornments."
PHILosoPHERs say that shutting the
eyes makes the sense of hearing more
acute A wag suggests that this accounts
for the many closed eyes that are seen in
our churches everylSunday. aoaaH 4B
A LEXINGTON man has been sent to
prison for two years for stealing an UNI
brella That's light sentence, but ID
shows praiscworthy disposition in Ken
lucky not to let great criminals escape
altogether. g0 a B1t nh
DURING last summer 1,700 persons,
mostly tourists from the, East and from
Europe, visited the petrified forest in Santa
Rosa Township, Cal. The forest contains
about 800 trees, the largest of which Is
eleven feet IN diameter at the lbutt.ilil sgi
"No, GEORGE she said, inresponse to
| his question, $ it is not true that string
of new belt-buckles in a shop window
would make any woman lose a train;
butt she added, musingly, sometimes
she might have to- run a little. "fsg''ElHaa
/ A MEDDLEsoME young man whofooled
around a, hucksters wagon few days
ago was both panied and surprised to
suddenly find. himself sitting in the gutter
on his head, with a dislocated shoulder
joint The "power behind the thrown"
was mule.
THE sender of a newspaper through the
French Postelfice may now mark in pen
Gil or in ink any particular article or par
agraph without finding, asheretofore, that
the receiver--if the mark is discovered
has been called on to pay extra postage,
as for a letter. eu Dfh ga .L0s@l
THE directors of the Cumberland & Ohio
Railroad, which is intended to make q
short line from Cincinnati to Nashville,
have determined to adopt the narrow
gauge of three feet, instead of the one in
general use, with view of reducing the
cost Of the road. 9tN 0J 3Msti8 Ettte
A DANBURY man, wishing to engage
several bushels of potatoes from party
in the suburbs, asked a neighbor what
sort of a man he was Well /" said the
conscientious neighbor, !" don't know
much about him, but / should think he
would make tip-top stranger aaaa'n-
AN absent-mindcd youth went three
miles into the woods to look for partridges,
with avew of capturing a few of them.
At last he espied one of, these shy birds OF
the forest and when he got ready to take
aim he discovered for the first time that,
although his powder and shot were with
him, he had left his gun at home. 20 7''>
GEORGE H. HAMILTON, weak minded
young man of twenty three, committed
suicide for an unrequited love in Cincin-
natl few days ago He was poor-She
was rich Her parents didn't want, him
for a son-in-law, and she didn't seem to
care for him; SO he evened9up matters by
shooting away what brains he had. ga
ABERNETHY, the great physician, said
| that a glass of ale before bedtime is cure
| for sleeplessness. Another authority says
that holding the hands in water will bring
| slumber 10 the eyelids. Now arrives,
writer in Moore's Rural Neu Yo7'her who
recommends heartfelt prayer as a RENE
dy for those to whom Morpheus does not
easily come.
IT is a truly awful thing to hear the
wife of your bosom say 8 I'm really get
ting uneasy about that letter to Julia. 1t
ought to have reached her Thursday, and
an answer was due yesterday The mails
are so Slow and uncertain when one is
most anxious 1t is an awful thing at
that moment for a man to put his hand in
his pocket and find The letter that he was
specially requested to mail week ago
1Nilaoa,slcee Sentinel. 4 ~ ,.,t sao4s
To .oBvIATE the trouble of arranging
their hair every day, and to save the ex-
pense of a maid, many ladies, who glory
in the fact that they are fashionable"
wear wig The wig is dressed by pro,
fessional wig maker once month, ana
thus every new fashion can DE Kept up
with. This is not SANDER on the sex,
but fact, and can be proved IN open
court Heads and wigs are rcadyl-Nem
| York Mail. 81 @ 43 20 ssf8J
ONE of the New York reporters.has in
vented a story about Rubenstein,y the al
ieped Jewish murderer, which temporari-
w throws all other works of fiction into
the shade. The substance of it IS that
Rubenstein, few days before the murder
was committed, contracted with poor
Israelite to assume all the burden OF his
sins for one year. The nominal compen-
sation for this service was forty flve DOL
| lars.
THE Duke of Galliera, one OF the rich
! est mobiles In the world, has recentlymade
| his native city. Genoa, the munificent
present of %, 900 900 francs, to be expend-
ed in charging the port. Not many years
ago this gentleman presented the gorgeous
Brignole Palace to the city of Genoa, to-
/ ~ ,..xll NJ INF