Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-01-27


ern plantations.
1795-18O0. Wears PantaZoons oc
casionally, but not when in full dress
Begins to use Plates on the bfeaktas
and tea table.
~1sO3. Has the boys and girls Uocci
mated.
1906. Tries to burn a piece o
Hard Coal from Philadelphia; a fail
ure-
1907. Sees boat go by Steam or
the Hudson.
1915. Holds little Convention al
Hartford, but doesn't propose to dis.
solve the Union. Buys one of Ter
rvs patent '.Shelf Clocks, :" for $50,
and regulates his watch by it.
1917. Sets up a stove in the Meet
ing-House and builds a fire in it or
Sunday; an innovation which is stout
ly resisted by many.
1918. Begins to run Steamboat
on Long Island Sound, and takes pas
sage on it to New York, after making
his will.
1919. Grown bolder, he crosses the
Atlantic in a steamship.
1922. Lights Gas in Boston (but
doesn't light Boston with gas TIL
1920. At lest learns how to make
Han d Coal burn, and sets CRATE il
his parlor. Buys a Steel Pen. Has
his evory day shirt made without
Ru67es.
1926. About this time, puts a
Percussion Lock on his old musket.
1926. Buys his wife PAIR of queer
shaped India Rubber overshoes.
Puts on his first False Collar Tries all
"Experimental' railroad by horse-pow-
er.
1923. Tastes his first Tomato
doubtingly Is told that it IS unfash-
ionable to feed himself with his knife
and buys ,SjIver Forks for great
occasions.
1888. Rubs his first Frictio,
Match-then called ''Lucifer,'' and
and afterwards ''Loco Foco." Throws
away the old Tinder Box with its flint
and steel.
1885. Invents the Reuoluer, and
sets about supplying the world with it
as a peace-maker Tries a Gold Pen,
bat cannot find good one yet-not
till 1914 Builds a real RotLoad ano
rides on it.
1887. Gets in panic-and out
again, after free use Of "Shinplasters >
1888. Adopts the new fashion Of
putting his letter in Envc1oles Ca fash
ion which does not fairly prevail till
seven years later).
1910. Sits for his Daguerreotype.
and gets picture fearfulIy an6
wonderfully made. Begins to blow
himself up with ''Camphene" and
Burning Fluid;' and continues the
process for years, with changes OF
name Of the active agent, down to
and including "Non-explosive kero-
sene.
1914 Sends his first MASSAGE by
the Electric Telegraph.
1847. Buys his wife SeOing-Ma-
chine--ln the vain hope that somehow
it will keep the buttons on his shirt
Begins to receive advices from the
esprit World"
1856. Begins to bore and be bored
by the Hoosac Tunnel.
1858. Celebrates the laying of the
Ocean Gable, and sends a friendly
message to John Bull. Next week,
begins to doubt whether the Gable
has been laid, at all.
1861 Goes South, to help compose
family quarrel. Takes to using
Paper-Money.
lS61-'65. Climbs the Hill Difficult
ty-relleved of his pack after Jan. l,
1874; but looses GREAT HEART.
April IA, 1865.
1865. Gets the Atlantic Cable in
working order at last, in season to send
word to his British cousins (WLo have
been waiting for an invitation to his
funeral) that he olives yet"
1S65-75. Is reconstructing, and
talking about Resumption. Sends
his boys to the Museum to see an
old-fashion Silver Dollar.
1875. Goes to Bunker Hill, to pay
honor to his illustrious men who COM
manded Gen. Putnam. Thinks he
won't initiate and helps strangle a
Western rag baby. Gets ready to eel
ebrate his second golden wedding by a
grand family reunion, next year, In
Philadelphia L