The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-10-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

| MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
With good times look out fof the IT.
turn of wild speculation.
Ministers complain that their receipts
from marriage fees are falling Oft.
| The number of books carried under a
schoolboy's arm is not always an index Of
the number he carries in his head.
-Brickmakers die very young, not be.
cause the gods love them particularly, but
because theirs is such kiln business.
| Speaking of the proposed colonization
OF tie Sioux in the Indian Territory, the
Oklahoma Star cries: "Save us from
our friends"
"A writer in Blatt,eood's Nagaziae says
that the moca has no more effect on the
weather than red herrings have on the
Government of Switzerland.
| AS a preventive against small pox, the
| journals of San Francisco demand that
the street-cars of that city be regularly
fumigated at the end of each trip.
The young collegian who wrote home
for new coat and got one mile too big,
| suggests that that was not lifting" re.
ply.-N. Y. Commercial Adoertiser.
-" Any offers ?" says Miss Whifet to
| Miss Wriggle, both home from the coun-
try. None" says the Wriggle girl,
laughing Historically, "but I'm good for
another scasOn!"
| -Lavender's wife said to her husband,
the other night: Pm afraid you have
taken more beer than is good for you"
And the unexpected reply was: "Well,
| think myself l could have brought it
home easier in jug"
| A Preston man who called upon
musical friend last evening at supper time
was warmly welcomed, as they had
party, and were just going to have SYM
phony. He said he thought he smelt it as
he came over.-No'vich Bulletin.
Girls, don't firt; there is untold dam
ger in it. Your father may be lurking
behind distant tree box, watching YOU,
or your big brother may come unexpect-
edly lunging from behind the blinds of a
sample room just as the fun is growing
| furious.
English newspapers have adopted what
they once so decried-the American prac-
tlce OF interviewing-and now the English
notable instructs the servant to keep =" an
heye hout for those himpudent hexamin.
ers hof heverbody's hown hinternal har-
engagements.
| "A Baltimore man, after many Sleep
less nights, thought he would smoke out
the mosquitoes with gunpowder and to-
bacco. An explosion followed, the man
was lacerated, and the mosquitoes, after
| joining in grand chorus of triumph, left
for the next house.
The bite of Spitz dog seems more
likely to produce hydrophobia than that
of any other animal. The greater num-
Der OF cases of this dreadful disease re-
Gently reported are said to have come
from the bite of this species-N. Y. CON-
nercial Adoertiser.
| An Iowa man has invented machine
| for taking off stockings. It can be at
tachcd to a hassock, and works something
On the principle of corn husker 1t is
estimated that it will save, in this country
alone, ninety million cricks in the back a
year. The inventor has filed caveat-
St. Louis Republican.
Women, maids, misses and female
servants have all grasped the unusually
{ long finger of Fashion which points to
Ted trimmings as 1.-THE thing And so
| we see them with
Red ribbons round their waists,
Red ribbons in their hair,
| Red ribbons to their tastes,
Pinned to them everywhere.
| Chicago EUening Journal.
Section five of the act authorizing the
appointment of bank receivers says that
call officers of National banks shall
stamp or write in plain letters the word
counterfeit altered or worthless
upon all fraudulent notes, which shall be
presented at their counters If they
wrongfully stamp genuine note they are
required to redeem 1t.
"A Whitehaller has invented fly
protector for bald-headed men to wear
during sermon time. 1t consists of close
fitting paper cap to be worn on the head.
On the outside is coating of sticky sub
stance, and when fly lights on it it is
"stuck." "The beauty of the thing is"
says the Times of that burg, that when
the paper is thickly covered with flies the
wearer looks as if he had head of beau
tiful black hair''
The attention of the world is tempo.
rarily called from the Bulgarian atrocities
to dreadful 'malady in England, which is
quite as appalling to certain class of En-
gishmen as the mangling of Christians in
foreign land can possibly be. What is
known as the dumb madness" is raging
among the female hounds of Essex, and
the heartrending information goes out to
all mankind that Mr.. Lotus w. Ark
wright has been compelled to destroy his
entire pack. So respectable journal as
the London Neaos solemnly says that the
destruction of Lotus dogs has "cast
gloom over the whole district!'' In most
civilized countries the dumb madness, or
any other form Of canine insanity likely
keep the troublesome brutes quiet, would
be welcomed as Godsend, but the thick
Englishman is never disturbed by the
noise of his favorite nuisance, and he is
only moved when the death of the nuis-
ance becomes necessary.--Nelo Orleans
Bulletin.
By the aid of parakites certain SIM
mons, dubbed Professor" hopes to sail
in the air. The "Professor's' plan of
aerial navigation is exceedingly simple, in
theory. He first, like Dr. franklin and
Mr.. Dick, flies large kite, which lifts a
larger kite, which in its turn lifts larger
kite, and so on, until Professor Sim
mons is lifted himself, and he, in turn,
hits larger man, until by the cumula:
tive process an entire army of men, of all
sizes, is sailing in the air. If he can only
makes his kites large enough and strong
enough he will put Archimedes to shame
and lift the earth ITSELF Thus far, how
ever, he has not succeeded in making
them substantial enough to lift drum
mer-boy. Why he began with drum
mer- boy is not explained; but so he did
begin the other day in one of the suburbs
of London, and the drummer boy fell to
the ground, and the parakites fell in the
estimation of a crowd of gaping spectators.
N. Y. Eoenin0 Post
INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS.
"A San Francisco cook was astonished.