The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1876-09-28
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

ITEMS OF INTEREST,".
GEORGE ELIOT says it is want OF
motive that makes life dreary.
ONE New York pawnbroker has
taken III 143 family Bibles this season.
"PITCHY DARKNESS has been so
improved as to read bituminous OBJ
scurity."
A GREAT many have died this year
from the neutrality-suspicious. disorder
Of bOatingonsunday.
"RAIsING THE WIND is now de-
nominated more classically, Exciting
the financial Eolus.'
THE new bonnet is to be distin-
guished from the old one by much
higher crown; and price.
EIGHTEEN vessels, belonging to OF
bound to United States ports, were
lost during the month of August.
WHEN you see man putting on eX-
ira STYLE" says an old Chicago mer-
chant, "look sharp that lie is not doing
it at your eXpenser'
IT is perfectly marvellous how fear
fully and wonderfully seedy and rusty
a summer hat can get during the first
two weeks in September.
TIE California Alta, in a biography
If Socrates, equips him as sewing
machine agent.
And that's, perhaps, why he died
With hem loCi-stitch in his side.
TIE bald headed man is accompa-
MED by one blessing every time he goes
to get shaved. The barber can't ask
him who cut his hair, and then assure
him that it was wretchedly done.
4 REVEREND divine, who was but a
$3.50 preacher, being called upon acct
dentally for sermon, asked a friend
what he should preach about; to which
the other coolly replied, about five
minutes
IT is remarkable fact, says the New
York Null, that more people die in
the city on Monday than any other day
in the week, and fewer on Saturday.
Let some reasoner send in a solution to
this mortality problem.
TIE New York journals express pity
for the misguided creatures who donot
know that oysters of certain varieties
are good eating in August, and that
other varieties may be safely eaten in
other months without the r.
How much for the broad-faced
chicken on the fence?" inquired an
Irishman of a farmer. "That's not a
chicken; it's an OWL replied the
farmer. Il don't care how ould he
is; l would like to buy him." said the
IriShman
INDUSTRIOUS and provident country
lads now store away what apples they
can't eat in their fathers hay-mows
for future consumption. They always
choose the best apples, and are not
particular from whose orchard they
come from-if it is only dark night.
-Erchange.
ALL Chicago is agitated over the or
dinance requiring obtrusive signs to be
pulled down, and it is getting so that
a conYivial man can't give his rosy
nose tweak on the street, but some
constituencies bOotblack will yell:
Hi, boys, jes' see i'm try to pull
down his signr'-Chicago Ecenin9
O1t7ndl.
THE Oshkosh Times gives the fol-
lowing:
Pay. Mr. Subscriber pay with cairc,
Pay for the local newspapaire.
Pay in currency or new sivaire,
And don't try 70 cheat the p1or printaire.
Pay IN advance, and do not d lire
To let the thing run months or yairc.
Pay, Mr.. Subscriber, Tor your ncwspapaire.
They are making great fuss be-
cause four-page letter of Robert
Burns was recently sold for 800. We
know bank that paid $1S5.75 for
half dozen lines written by Bur-
lington man, and now the bank would
like to sell the autograph for the odd
seventy-fve cents, with no bidders
Burlington HaaCk-Ege.
WHEN he came home from his Office
work he found his beloved wife with
one shoe off and one shoe on, limping
around the room on her heel, and one
little curled-up toe bandaged with a
rag. whats the matter?" said he :;
and then she sweetly and emphatically
replied: "Oh, Sam, why must you
keep your razor so eternally sharp"
Then the husband sat down and
unused, and felt of his jagged chin.
THE Austrian Government has pub
lished decree in regard to the traffic
in poisons, declaring the following sub
stances to be included under the term
poison: 1. Arsenic and all its COM
pounds. 2. Chlorides and oxides of
antimony. 8. Oxides and salts, in
Guiding the chlorides, iodides, and
bromides of mercury. 4. Ordinary
phosphorus. 5. Bromine. 6. Prussic
acid and preparations containing it, al
so all cyanides, with the exception of
those containing iron. Z. All Violent
ly active preparations made from
poisonous plants and animals, OF man
ufactured artificially, such as the al
kaloids, curare. cantharides, etc.