American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-09-30
A Valuable Invention.

the Morning Argus during one of those
very hot days in June. Col. Bangs wa.
perspiring in an effort to hammer ou
an article on The Necessity for Speedy
Resumption. The visitor seized 9
chair and nudged up close to the
Colonel. Then he said:
"My name is Partridge. called to
show you little invention of mine.''
Colonel. Haven't got time to look
at it. I'm busy ''t2 7'ij i'7
Partridge. "I see you are. Won't
keep You more'n minute. (Removing
his hat.) Look at that hat and tell me
how it strikes you.''
Col. "Oh, don't bother me! I'm
not interested in hats just now" 80.
Part. 81 know you amt, and that's
not hat. That's Partridge's Patent
Atmospheric Refresher. Looks exactly
like a high hat, don't it? Now, that's
the thing you want most this kind of
weather."
Col. &c The thing want most is to
have you skip out of here" .v'..-
Part. "What every body wants is to
keep cool, of course. Now, how are
Col. Sc Your impudence is cool
enough to freeze any thing with the
mercury at 1857 ,s.5 t.5=s. 4.fs
+ Part. "Why, if you know when you
are well off, you will do it with this hat.
But how?" f ss.snt.5f 4 ST. sa5rs
Col. "Oh, dry up and get out!"
Il Part. 81 will explain. If you COM
press air until it attains considerable
pressure, and then suddenly release it,
the rapid expansion causes the air to
absorb heat, and to. produce quite a
marked degree of cold. You know
this, of course. - ...ss7 ...-s-.f.. f,s..-t,l
? Col. 81 wish you'd compress your
air and then expand it in the ears of
somebody besides mel tss.rr4s
Part. "Now, in my humble inven-
ton, have utilized this beautiful law
of nature in manner that is certain to-
confer an inestimable b'essing upon the
human race. This hat is really made
of light boiler iron, covered with silk.
The compressed air is contained in it.
At the present moment it is subjected
to pressure of eighty-seven pounds to
the square inch. If that hat should ex-
plode while am sitting here, it would
blow the roof off this building. "EJa =
Col. $50 it killed you, wouldn't
care.'" 70 .fira zaasi -at
Part. "Wen, sir, the way work this
wonderful appliance is this: The air.
pump is concealed in the small of my
back, under my coat. A pipe connects
it with the receiver in my hat, and
there is kind of crank running down
my right trouser-leg, and fastened to
my boot, so that the mere act of walk
ing pumps the air into the receiver"
Col. swell, don't care cent if it
does" 1e-tT
Part. "But how do effect the cool
ing process? Listen. Another pipe
comes from the receiver and empties
into kind of sheet-iron undershirt,
perforated with holes, which I wear be-
meath my outside shirt
Col. elf you'd wear something over
that shirt, so as to hide the dirt, you'd
be more agreeable. o'
Part. "Now, s'posin' it's a warm
day. Pm going along the street with
the air-crank in operation. The receiv-
er is full. I want to cool off. pull
the string which runs down my left
sleeve; the air rushes from the receiver,
suddenly expands about my body, and
makes me feel so cold that wish had
brought my overcoat with me-"
Col. "I wish to gracious you'd 60
home and get it now" ....'
Part. "You see, then, that this in.
vention is of the utmost value and i'm
portance, and my idea in calling upon
you was to give you chance to men
ton and describe it in your paper, SO
that the public might know about it.
You are the only editor have revealed
the secret to. thought I'd give you
the first chance to become benefactor
to your race" 99F 1sEst} hsE
Col. elm the kind of benefactor
that charges 81 a line for such philan-
thropy." .ya-T satt 4ae8z.5
Part. "To assure yourself that the
machine is perfect, you must try it for
yourself. just stand up and take your
coat off. Then I'll put the hat on your
head, screw the pump into the small of
your back, and ram the other machinery
down your legs.''S j.,
Col. "I'll see you hanged first"
Part. "Well, then, I'll put it on
and illustrate the theory for
you. You see the rod here in my
trousers. This is tho air-pump here,
just above my suspender-buttons. The
hat now contains about six atmos-
pheres. Now 1 am ready to move.
See? You observe how it works? The
only noise you hear is slight tick of
the valve in the pump. A couple of
more turns and you put your hand on
my shirt collar and feel how near zero
it is. 1 will get the pressure up to 100
pounds before I-''
Bang!!!!! -~sH s-i g" n
AS soon as the Colonel began to real
ize the situation he crawled out from
beneath his overthrown desk, wiped the
contents of the inkstand from his face
and hair with the copy of that I'M
finished article upon "The Necessity of
Speedy Resumption, and looked about
him. Mr.. Partridge was lying in the
corner with splintered table over his
legs, his head in spittoon, and frag-
ments of ruined machinery bursting out
= hr.onnh H.,