Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1876-06-08
FACTS n PANCIEs.

deserted in three days
The old maxim that "man proposes"
is eontradicted by some ill-tempered
spinsters, who wish lie did.
A true picture Of despair is a pig
reaching through a hole in the fence to
get a cabbage that lies a few inches
beyond his reach.
Wonders will never cease. The other
day we heard that a horse was turned
into a stablel And this is the boosted
nineteenth century.
Don't a Quaker ever take his hat off
to any one, mammaY' mo, my dear
If he don't take his hat off to a barber,
how does he have bis hair cut2'
An old lady, who had a great aversion
to rye in any form, says that now they
have got to making it into whisky, she
can take a little now and then.
"old age is coming upon me rapidly"
the urchin said when he was stealing
apples from an old mans garden, and
saw the owner coming stick in hand.
The celebrated line, England, With
all thy faults, / love thee still" was thus
parodied by a w~hiskyloving Irishman:
ireland, with all thy faults, l love thy
STILL"
A recent ghost was heard singing
Twas a cough that carried me off:
Twas q coffin they carried me of in"
A Yankee adVenturer having heard
that a new speck had been discovered on
the suns disc, asked if it was a safe spec,
as he was just wanting something in that
way.
An embryo poet, who is certainly a
close observer of human nature. re-
marks: Time marches on with the slow,
measured tread Of a man working by the
day"
What we're you brought up onP
asked a rough Western judge Of a lean
and lank culprit. Brought up on a
charge of vagrancy, l believe, your
honor"
To determine whether a man is drunk
or not get him to say, The scenery is
truly rural" If he says "trural rury,"
or "tooral %roOral," you may put him
down as drunk.
1t is morally aggravating to a boy with
a hard SNOWFALL in his hand to chase
another boy a half mile for the purpose
OF hitting him, and then miss him by
about eight feet.
! Some melancholy-minded burglars en-
tered an uudertsker's shop and appro-
priated a coffin. The proprietor says if
they will call again he will furnish e
corpse to put in it.
Coleridge, the poet and philosopher,
o once arriving at an inn, called out,
: " Waiter, do you dine here collectively
: or individuality Sir" replied the
y knight Of the napkin, we dimes at six"
! Princeton, Ky can take the cham
pien's belt for optical feats, A dispatch
declares that "a beautiful mirage of
Niagara Falls" was visible there last
: Monday in the clouds towards St. Louis.
Boats were visible under, bat off some
distance from the falls"
: "WiIl you have i. rare or we'll done?'
said an Englishman to an Irishmau, as
he was cutting a slice OF roast beet. II
love it we'll done liver since | am in this
country" replied Pat, for it was rare
! enough we used to ate it in Ireland"
n "0h. Mr. Grubbles," exclaimed a
! young mother shouldn't you like to
i have a family of rosy children about
your kneeY' mo, ma'am," said the
disagreeable old bachelor; I'D rather
have a lot Of yellow boys in my pocket"
II tell you" said a Wisconsin man to
st a ~neighbor next dsy after burying his
wife, when | get into bed and lay thar,
ID and not hearing Lucinda jawing around
for an hour and a half, it just made me
feel as Id moved into a strange country
why, dear me, Mr.. Longshallow,"
81 said a good lady, how can you drink a
quart Of that hard cider at a single
Of ~draught." As soon as the man could
be breath again he replied, II beg pardon.
IS madame, it was so hard l couldn't bite il
IS. of"
"She struck me very much at FIRST,
T. said the witty daughter Of a celebrated
novelist, to a young lisping swell. "DiG
she indeedf' said the dandy; that wa
!" very rude of herr 1T was a rudenesi
of which you were not guilty" was the
. ready reply.
~, II never did see such a wind and sucE
a storm" said a man in a coffee.room
"And pray, sir" inquired a would,be wit
"sinse you saw the wind and the storm
Of what might their color be2" THE
'rt wind blew and the storm rose" was the
~ ready rejoinder.
A lady consulted Alternately, "DC
all yon know my usual iee2' said he. TIVE
~ guineas we're laid on the table. Putting
ri. them into his pocket he drew out a six
OF pence, and said, There, take that, an,
,,re buy a skipping rope, for you want exer
nc else. Good morning.
.ds "Billy, how did YOU lose your 6nrer2 p