South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-05-19

m'nd, madame, we solCicrs have often
seen ladies' dressed in that style--in
Africa"
A Prudent DARKEY.-A farmer was
recently walking around the Central
Market. says NJ. Quad. trying to find
some chap willing TO go into the coun.
try and do little work for goo pay
when q colored man accosted him say
ing:
Boss. does you want some one to
husk corn?'
Yes. I've been looking all the morn
ing for some one
Whats de pav?"
an give a6oilar \ day"
"And board?'
"Yes"
AN chickens and puddin' for din
ner?"
"Y.yes."
can Havana cigars to smoker"
IL guess So" stammered the far
) ner.
And. coal stove right close aroun'
whar de corn is?'
mo; | never heard of stove in
corn feiI.'
well, If dar's no stove ont dar Won
can't coax this child along lie got to
take kecr Of my health even if deere isn't
u bushel OF corn raised in dis country.
IL \ horny headed phrenologist in
West End grocery the other evening.
placed his hand on frien - head, and
said:
Bill. do you want to know your ca
pacity and perceptibIeness?
Eyes, If I've got any" was the reply.
well. then. Continued the phrenol.
ogist. Il place the Tip Of my thumb ahoy c
the centre of The car, thus. Then cx.
tend my fingers around the posterior
portion. callei in frenoiogv the oxv pot :;
then join the tips of the fingers Of both
hands anl en- leavor to bring the thumb
tips together, but the thumos don't meet
by-great goodness -
At this point the plrenolopist looked
puzzlcl. ana gazed up at the ceiling re
hectiyeIy aud gravely.
"Out with i'll am prepared to hear
the worst" said Bill.
But the phrenologist said he'd have
TO tell him privately. and took him on,
and up the street till near n saloon door.
wacn he paused and whispered in Bills
ear:
You've got powerful brain, pow.
erfnl intellect. and orter to he in Con.
greSs instead Of using hammer"
Bill dragged his friend into the sa.
loon and called for the best in the house.
They drank. and Bill asked:
''Why didn't yOr tell me in the pre-.
sencc OF those men in the grocery
Because" said the phronolouist. Il
knew they'd call me a darned fool
~ A French gentleman who suppos.
ed he had mastered the English lang are
was sadly puzzled one day. when friend
looked 1T him and said: How do YOU
dor do yat2" Il mean. how do
you find yourself?" "Saire, I never
loses myself" "But how do you reel?"
Smooth; you just feel me-"
SSy A Portsmouth,, New Hampshire.
young man. who was inconsiderate o
nougli 20 "como in after he had escort.
ed girl home from prayer meeting. the
other SUNDAY evening. was obliged 20
stop TO family prayers. which came ON
holder prayed that "tl,e young man who
for The time being. is one Of our humhc-.
may nc directed toward bis Fathers
house he took his hat and left without
ceremony.
- What arc yon about?" inquired
luuatic Of a cook who was industrious.
~ picking The feathers from n fowl
"Dressi, z q chicken" answered the
cook. II should call shat undressing .
replied the crazy fellow. The cook
looked reflective.
tVA Detroit woman who got : 200
from that city Cor breaking her leg IN a
sidewalk hole = while ago. broke her
Lex again IN he same way 2 day or two
Tg9 Sho says VI she had seven more
legs she should he perfectly happy.