The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-08-18
FACTS AND FANcIEs.

pioi1 eer. Yes sir, l have. Do you Sc
that no, ,'ntain2 Web, when / came her
that mountaa.n was hole in the ground.
The empress .Eugenie, the duke o
Nassau, the grand duke of MecklenbuTl
Schwerin, queen Victoria, the king o
Sweden, the grand duke Alexis, and kint
BOmba's son are said to own rt>al estate
: in the city Of New York.
A MINISTER travelling through the NSes'
some years AGO asked an old lady on
whom he called what she thought of the
doctrine of total depravity. OOH" she
replied, " think it is good doctrine, if
the people would only act up to it. "
FOND father to visitor: My boy
knows a lot of scripture. Now. Larry,
what did God make on the first day p
Larry hesitates. Fond father points up
ward in the direction Of the chandelier.
81 know, pa; he made gas u
If your name is John Jacob Smith
and YOU 90 to an eastern college they inn
mediately put you down in the catalogue
as Johnerem Iacobus Smith1oTium. is
it wonder that young man feels stuck
up under such circumstances
GUILT, though it may attain temporal
| splendor can never confer real happiness.
| Inc eNluGntt GOuHEtl utllftH VI OuA IAAhlNA
| long survive their commission, and like
| the ghosts of the murdered, forever haunt
the steps of the maleiactor.- Waller
| Scot
THE spiritualist lecturer who noticed
a lady in deep mourning taking her de-
parture from the hall, prophesieG better
| than he knew when be told her that the
spirit of her husband desired TO commu-
| nicate with her. 81 know it," said she,
hes waiting at the door"
A BosToN paper remarks that the eff
fects of culture are always prominent IN
language This Is noticeable when Bos-
ton girl Jams her finger She says:
"AOww Coarse, ill.bred people say
Ouch ?'' 1t is trihes that reveal the in
nate delicacy ofa human soul.
PLATO says that philosophy consoles a
man in all trials but we would have
liked to see Plato chasing a lawn mower
about his front yard and trying to pro-
duce a pleasing impression on the pretty
girl across the way about the time the
machine struck stone and the handle
took him in the pit of the stomach.
NJ. RENAN, in his new philosophical
dialogues declares that thought central
lied in some superior man is the only end
of nature. Humanity is n great tree
which drops its thousands of small fruit;
it is necessary that millions should suf-
fer, work and die in order that one great
man appear.
IT was n widowed miser who, sfter
composing long epitaph for his wife,
suppressed it altogether and said: y" It's
too expensive, put on the gravestone
few tears" "Very well" replied the
artist say three tears, like this! y
" Heavens, no ~ Three tears, when
have only two eyes? Absurd Two VIII
be plenty"
SHE was standing by the counter when
she thought of her money, and slipped
her hand into her pocket to see If her
purse w8s safe. 1t was not there. she
looked hard at the clerk, and said:
" Very strange p Then she upsets all
the goods on the counter, while cold per
spiration broke out on the unfortunate
clerk. Next she summoned all the cash
bows. clerks, hoor-wnllIers, inspectorsand
proprietors. Then she sent for two po-
iicemen, and Just as they arrived on the
spot. she discovered she was holding her
pocket-book tightly clutched in her left
hand, and all the apology she made to
the unfortunate clerk WAS: knew IL
was here, somewhere"
MARK TwAIN's description of the hap
piest boz in the village Huckleberry
was always dressed in the castof clothes
of full-grown men, and they were in per-
enniaI bloom and hutteriHg with rags.
His hat was n vast ruin, with wide
crescent looped out of its brim his coat,
when he wore one, hung nearly to his
heels, and had the rearward buttons far
down the back; but one suspendeT sup
ported his trousers; the fringed legs
dragged in the dirt when not rolled up.
HucklebeTrY came and went at his own
free will. lie slept on doorsteps in fine
weather, and in empty hogsheads in wet;
he did not have to go TO school or TO
church, or call any being master, or obey
he could go fishing or SWIM
ming when or where he chose, and stay
as long as il suited him nobody forbade
him to fight; he could sit up as late as
he pleased; he was always the first boy
that went barefoot in the spring and the
last to resume leather in the fall; he
never had to wash, nor put on clean
clothes he could swear wonderfully. In
a werd everything that goes to make life
precious that boy had"
THE champion relic-hunter at the eX-
hibition is a woman. She went INTO inc
Tunisian department of the main build
lion and his prey. 1t was
fashioned over two thousand years ago,
and formed portion Of the pavement of
a Carthaginian temple. This irrepressi,,
bic woman watched her chance and
gouged out several Of the stones OF
which the mosaic is composed. A po-
liceman was summoned by a bystander,
but the exhibitor was too tender-hearted
to appear against her, and she was dis
1t is charity TO suppose that
are the irresponsible victims
Of a morbid impulse; but this woman
was a fit subject for retributive justice.
If she had been led away by the ear and
,ne of her eyes had been chiselod out, or
ln eve-tooth wrenched out of her mouth,
it would have been brutal and cold
Dlooded, but not unjust. Vandalism
that would deface mosaic dedicated 10
Diana ought to be made odious.