The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-07-28
Pith and Point.

Pith and Point.
A COMMON mull-tipple-Spiced rum.
BALTIMORE is going to abolish corporal
punishment in schools.
THE Boston Base Ball Club are fed ON
fish balls and batter pudding.
Now IS the time for the old joke about
the West Point boys finding the beat IN
tents.
New YORK is to have an elite directory.
Some ladies i eat their heads off to gel
into it.
FARMERS are complaining that spe
cies of grub is eating up their corn. This
is a clear case of grub eat grub ChicG-
90 tribune.
THERE are only two gallons Of whisky
per year manufactured for each inhabi-
tant of the United States, and it isa clear
case that somebody's got to go without
MID sylvan scenes
And kidney beans
The farmer sweats around;
In homemade clothes
And n sun-burned nose
He spends his days
In trying to raise
The mortgage that covers his ground.
AN editor, quoting DR.. Halls remedy
to " eat regularly, not over three times q
day, and nothing between meals" adds
"Tramps will do well to cut this ont and
put it in their bank books"
A YANKEE, describing an opponent:
whose person was extremely thin, says,
CT will tell you what, sir-that man
don't amount to sum in arithmetic
cast him up and there's nothing to
carry"
A WICKED Wyoming lawyer holds up
his right hand and swears that, whereas
a female juror may not always yield to
the bribe Of stick o gum, the promise
of fashioned bonnet will influence
her verdict every time.
"THERE's such rude gentleman din
| ing up stairs to-day. Missus was a
talking about the Akkademy, and If he
didn't tell her as he could see she paint
ed, and so she do every night; but he
needn't a said so afore people.
THE man who is hardest to find is the
one who has an "office, particularly If
he has "office hours" Whenever a man
wishes to conceal himself from the world
he rents an office, hang out sign stat
ing his Office hours, and then stays away
| forever.
A NEGRO preacher, in translating to hiG
shearer the sentence, "The harvest is
over, the season is ended, and thy soul
is not saved" put it, ode corn has been
cribbed, dare amt any more work,
and de debbil is still foolin' wild dis
community"
"Wk go to press at 2 instead of to
day." said Tennessee paper, i'm order
to attend to some business of importance
in the country" At precisely five min
utes before 4, two high-toned looking
men with shotguns called, and wanted
to know where the editor was.-M Y.
| Com. AdU.
A CLERGYMAN, observing a poor man
by the roadside, breaking stones, and
kneeling, to get at his work better, made
the remark "Ah, John, wish could
break the stony hearts of my hearers an
easily as you are breaking these stones"
Perhaps, M e ter, you do not work ON
your knees" was the reply.
A PRAYER MEETING was held In James
Fosters cell, Warrenton, Mo-, on the
night before he was hanged. "Are you
ready to die9" asked clergyman, at the
conclusion of the exercises. "Guess
I'll have to be ready in the morning,
anyhow" he said, and winked at by
stander.
OK board the Cunard steamers the
church service is read every Sunday
morning. The muster-roll of the crew
is called over, and they attend service.
A gentleman one day said to one of the
sailors, care you obliged to attend pub
lie Worship" "Not exactly obliged,
sir" replied Jack; "we should lose our
grog If we didn't.
A WEST SIDE man who saw a load of
coal at a house and arranged to go over
and borrow part of it after the other man
was in bed, got around that night and
found that it had all been put in the eel
lar and carefully locked up before night
fall. He remarked the next day that it
fulness people seemed to have in human
ature.-Nortoich (Conn.) Bulletin.
LADY customer" Have you q nice
book, all covered with red leather, with
gold letters on the back 2" Shopkeeper
:" Yes, madam we have De Quincey's
works, three volumes, in Russia or Cen
Sherman's Memoirs, two volumes, in
calf" Lady customer-"I don't want
anything about Russia. Give me the
book about the dear little calves be-
sides, it was by General"
PROFESSOR (after waiting some time
for an nswer to a question which he had
, just asked Mr.. H. ," Why, don't you
see what mean 3" Mr.. H.-"Yes, Hr,
it's-a-it's-ah-" Professor What
1 wish to get at is, that if an imponder-
able string is stretched by an infinite
number of equal weights applied equal
distances from each other, the funcuIar
polyg N becomes paraoola. MI
II. Enthusiastically" Yes, SIR; yes sir;
you get my idea"
Is view of the recent diabohcai out
rage on the L., G. & s. w. road, BY
which the fireman, engineer, and con-