The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-05-24
THAT'S WHAT'S the MATTER.
How an Assault aud Battery
Case Terminated.
To the Editor of the Morristown Gazette:


To the Editor of the Morristown Gazette:
Just off traverse jury. I fly tc
your columns for relief. 1t happen.
ed in this wise: Last week being
; Circuit Court, / went to town to
make collections. meet the friends OF
: my youth. etc Court had been 90
ing on several days. when. one balmy
|, eve, strolled up to the hall of wit
| ~ and Justice. Leaning against the
, left-hand column, / was listening to
: the murmuring "if your honor
please" "step light, gentlemen .
"holy evangelists and searcher of all
hearts" routine. when some one
touched me on the shoulder. 1 turn
ed it Was the sheriff. "Bill, sum-
mons you as juror" Now, Jim is
a clever fellow, aud thought he was
asking me to take supper with him.
so remarked. " all right. Jim Til be
down after awhile" He explained.
The case was one for felonious as
sault. The chivalry and manhood
of two youths had been stirred up at
a candy-pulling, aud one of them had
been cut upon the exterior swell of
his left fore arm. We had a time
getting up that jury. was the Sec
ond man on the roll Of honor. AS I
passed to my seat the Judge drew
one finger across the other with =
saving motion. 1t may have been 81
Masouic sign = who knows? One
venerable "boozer" got off, as
thought, on account of the excess Of
crimson leather in his boots; but I
was afterwards told he was a phre-
nologist: knew too much. The panel
formed, we went to supper. and af-
ter that meal the evidence was taken
in night session.
The first pass was to see who was
drunk but, as each witness swore
the rest were sober, that "cock
wouldn't fight" One young gentle
man, with a "Chasseur d. Antique"
beard, acknowledged they were "gen-
tlemanly groggy," but that was ruled
as vague. At last we struck a wit
ness who knew something of the
case; and after receiving her evil
dence the examination closed, and
we were dismissed for the night.
Previous to our dismissal, however,
his honor informed US that he would
have to send some of us to- Jail II we
didn't behave better. Now, all we
had done was, after supper. from the
balcony Of our barracks, throwing
raw eggs at the heads of passers-by.
The whole Court had been an elec-
tioneering frolic, and we only wished
to show that, as jurors, we were not
"stuck up or proud. Verify, that
which in captain is but choleric
word, in a solder is rank blasphemy.
Three in bed is a very good
thing, when you can choose your
mates. but with jurors in felony
case, and out of raw eggs, tis differ
ent. The amount of classic anecdote
furnished by this squirming mass of
Jurisprudence was fearful; but all
things have an end, and one by one
these chosen of the land dropped of
(or appeared to drop to sleep. Your
correspondent was not very slumber.
ous-too much pig and herring bus
mess for him. Every one knows the
thoughts of solitude, the midnight
) reverie; so l won't insult the die
tionary and weary your readers. As
/ lay half asleep, half awake, gradu
ally l became conscious that some
one was snoring. AS the mutteringi
|, of the midsummer storm, from fain
rumble, grow to the appalling rever
berations of Heavens artillery, 81
did that snore accrue apace. 1t fill
ed every Granny of the room; reso
nant, defiant, a snore par excellence
I For solid half hour this torrent o
: nasal melody rolled along, and fo
l once I was a convert to the poetic
, thought that "sonnd never dies
In lucky moment the fellow chok
: ed and rounded to with a stupen
dous snort. Allah be praised! ex
: claimed, when, to my amaZement
9 ten of the supposed sleepers shouted
{ out as one man, "struck q knot, b!
golly.''
We slept, rose, breakfasted, an
i returned to the Courtroom, to hea
d the arguments, the charge, and Civ
Q our verdict.
e To give clear idea of the case,
must sketch the participants. First
l. the bar, two attorneys on a side
T three spare, one stout man, sugges
= ing as they stood the cypher
: a@5l "1IO1."
l. Commencing at the left. leadin
for the prosecution, 8 medium size
# spare man, with an agonized eyt
g suggesting stomach-ache, borne wit
L Christian resignation, his peculiarit
e humorous repartee. Next, tale
!, man, with a pleasant eye, oyerhun
by bushy brows; his peculiarity
% habit of swallowing, suggesting n
e pressed force, and an exceedin9l
l, clear rendering of his cases. ThirC
D stout, genial gentleman, from whoI
r the Indian could obtain no troph
d of victory; speciality, cross-examin:
ton; and a peculiar habit when foo
g ing o witness of cooking one eye {
y the Judge and the other at the jury
10 and exclaiming, All, hum;'' tn
lie "hum" coming out with a quiverin
le intone and abrupt terminal. I'll
c. fourth was a swarthy gentleman,
Of a nervous temperament, and an ey
S. like hawk. His forte is some stron
re point, but great main strength; !" p
in culiarity, personal magnetism wit
n the jury with whom he exerts ctoI
affinity.
re The jury were. twelve men, GOO
o. and true. but, ye gods what choiC
10 specimens of manly beauty and ge
st eral intelligence. The officer ";
yh struck with the choiceness of Il
Id parcel, and did class the Jurors ;