The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-02-19
VARIETY.

An Eastern young lady lately received the fol-
lowing note, accompanied by '' bucket ofhours:
i send you bi the boy bucket of hours. The
is like me luy for u, the night mite shade means
keep dark, the dog fenil means am your slave,
rosis red posts pail, mi luv for shall never fale
"I don't know, said young lady, medita-
lively, she glanced at an elegantydressed rival,
who was sailing out of church Sunday morning
with all the airs of an empress. So don't know,
but it seems to me that every time she gets new
stufn for her hustle, she sOrter acts if sorrer
couldn't hurt her."
An eight-year-old boy in one of our schools
sent the following rather warm epistle to one of
his little playmates ''Dear Minnie love thee i
ador you don't show this to your mother, if dom
love you may the lions tear my heart out may i
be thrown from third story window if don't
love you may be torn in halls by wild beests
but do. answer this. get good paper and leave
sheet for me you are pretty girl and i'll have
you. Charlie"
Nor ALWAYS SAFE.-Innocentr remarks are often
made which occur to you Immediately after as
open to an Interpretation which you did not in
tend. 1t is not always safe, however, TO correct
them. Blobbs was dining with little party at
Mrs. Scroggs,' who, despite her angular outline,
would wear low-Deck dresses. Blobbs was '' not
particular about what piece of the turkey he
had, and consequently got the neck. After striv-
ing iu vain to obtain any sustenance from it, he
remarked, in what he intended to be q playful
manner " Mrs. Scroggs, your neck hasn't any
meat on it. That is, he added, blushing furi-
ously, as the double enfendre struck him, " m
m-mean the neck of this turkey"
RoXANTIc-They were standing in front of her
gate, having just returned from dance. His
right arm was occupied in holding her up, while
his shoulder furnished resting place for her little
head. And they were watching the bright and
glorious moon. 1t was the same old moon which
had looked down on so many similar scenes, but
somehow 1t had different appearance tonight.
1t influenced the young man to such degree that
he said =" With what refulgence does bright Luna
shed her rays upon all inanimate creation, weav-
ing weird, fantastic shadows among the leadess
trees, and spreading silver glory over all. Do
you observe the magnificent effect, Mamie? 80 Yes
indeed, Henry" she returned; ''and did you see
that Jen Clemens at the dance? She had on last
Winters dress, made over; and she's worn that
blue waist ever since l can remember. / never
saw such a looking thing" Henry gasped.
There were two of them squatted down on the
sunny side of show-bill board, munehing the
remnants of a ginger cake. The blackest one
remarked, melancholically
"Mose, did yer eber tink how 'spensiye dis
freedom is to Niger?
" You bet, honey It mighty nigh makes dis
ole man sometimes wish he was done back ON the
pantashun, whar de smokehouse was cen Almost
as big as de State Capertel.'
- Oats de ticket. Now, jis take dat breakfus
what had dis mornin.' Oar was piece OF beef,
dat was ten cents; hunk Of bread, dat was FIVE
cents frieds weet 'taters dem was five cents; and
dat breakfus cost dis Niger thirty cents clar cash!
Think OBJ dat now.''
'Dem's purity bilyus figures, fur a fack!" said
the old man.
ssBilyus! Why, dey's jist downright bankrup-
tin, dey is. Hyar hab to play seben-up ez hard
ez can ebery night de Lord sends to get squar
meal for breakfus, an de big odds agn the break
fus to bootn'
Stippler got home about A. NJ He was hug
eing pillar of the porch, and Mrs s. was stand
ing in the door, her scant drapery shiyering in
the breeze.
ssIsh thish' ere my 'ouse2'' said the Timber
Mr.. s.
"Yes it is, you brute !" snapped out Mrs S.
"An right, my love (hie) l take your word for
it, Hear it (hic), ye stars, and be (hic) my wit
nessesI"-
aCome in, you old FOOL" said his WIFE
"a If thish 'ere's my 'Ouse (hiel, my love, jis
don't forgit (hic) it! A man, by the law of thish'
yer hear (hic) that? That's law, old gal!'
Ind then Mrs. 5. stepped out and interviewed
Stippler, and the way she expounded higher
law - to him was something he won't forget un-
til Plantamour's comet strikes the earth.
He was lank specimen, and if his legs could
have been plated for handle the rest of him
would have made close resemblance to a big
putty-knife. He shuffled up to the counter and
met the jovial landlord.
ssDo you keep this hotel, gineral?'' he asked.
"Yes, sir, do was the polite reply.
's Well, you We got laundering big lot of house
here, hain't you?
ss A tolerabIe amouns'' said the colonel.
" And power o'dinner layin' around loose,
eh7'
" Well, quite enough"
Just so, gineral, and you don't mind giving
a psor devil just in from Kansas and the grass
'oppers u bit, do ye? l hain't got cent nor had
a sduar meal for fo' months. and I'll swar to it
on stack of immigrant tickets as high as your
steeples
He got " squar meal"