The Van Buren press., 1876-05-30
MISCELLANY.
My Wie's Nose.


er and over heard rsoplc say, "Mis.
Clement would have boon prAtfv hnt fn,
her nose.' thought she was pretty in
spite of it. The nose was large, it is
true, and peculiar, but she had lovely
gray eyes, with dark lashes, darker than
her nut brown hair, a sweet, mischiev-
Gus, sensitive mouth, and a skin of rose
leaves. Still think should have loved
her if she had been positively ugly,
There was in her face that which trans
cended all it's form or coloring.-there
was a Goodness always fool about
Nancy, and here am demonstrating it
in print. Nanon Clement had French
blood in her veins her name from Bre-
ton grandmother. Certainly she showed
her race in the grace Of her conversation,
the taste of her dress perhaps she show
ed it in her nose.
After she condescended to marry mr.
must say my little woman proved he
self deft and dainty housekeeper. Our
small cottage was as neat as bees cell,
but not painfully SO. 1t was all lived in,
all homelike-no shut up rooms, no ov.
er fine upholstery too good to use. The
carpets were not BRUSSELS, or the chair
rosewood, but everything halmonized i
tint in every room, and al the ornament
were good Of their kind.
hate a room filed with fancy work,
like a show counter Of an agricultural
fair or worsted shop neither tortured
crewels nor abomination in paper or
canvas Uttered up our bright rooms I;
there were no tides on the chairs, no
linen covers on the sofas. An indescri-
bable breath of purity and freshness fill.
ed the house. think this was owing to
her. nose l confess. Though l had to
smile when / saw her daily tours through
the premises with that dllatsd feature
high in the air, delicately smiling at the
door Of every closet and chamber, and
pouncing upon any breath " evil as q
hawk does ON his prey. There was no
musty nook in our house; the first faint
ovunv vr uafnP uff1"ess was urucvrca /,
the corner, the crack, the bottle that gen
Grated it was scalded, scraped, dried and
summed on the instant; neither was any
sour bi cad endured an hour; no meat
outlived its usefulness or its pleasant
ness in larder or refrigerator, no pickles
went beyond the verge Of proper picked
ness; our eggs were always fresh, for
Nan averred that a fresh egg had its own
clean odor Heavens what nose was
that which could pierce an egg shell
My life was somewhat harrassed, no
doubt, for my wife developed turn for
locating smells
"Jack, where have you bcen2' she
would say, repulsing me suddenly after
the first kiss with which she always re-
ceved me on coming from the Office at
night, and which politeness was always
expected to return-"where have you
been p with keen flash and quiver OF
eye and eyelid
"Why, Nan?'
"Because you smell of machinery"
"By George" (dear reader, forgive
the exhletive l never swear, but a man
must have some safety valve, 81
wouldn't have your nose, Nan, for five
hundred dollars"
"And wouldn't be without it for five
thousand, Tell me, now, havn't you
been somewhere :"
"Yes, | have been several somewheres.
l reluctantly admit, Mrs. Gardner, that |
went to Smiths printing Office to see
about some bill heads, and spent half an
hour studying out their new press"
~ thought So" was her satisfied re-
joinder. ' know the smell of machine
oil very we'll"
Another time I am greeted with anoth
er shudder.
"What is it now, Nan?' l inquired,
in abject tones of dismay.
81 smell cigars in yoar whiskers."
"Surprising!" replied ~ do not
remember having hidtlen any there"
Nonsense, mean smoke, of course" ;"
"Nan, believe in Darwin now and for.
ever Your great-grandfather must have
been pointer. / stood on the platform
of crowded car, coming up town, by a
man who smoked all the way, and the
wind was fair to smoke me, too"
at is bad to have nose, sometimes, -
says my wife, refectively.
But it would be worse to have none"
But l groaned in spirit about Nan
nose sometimes it was not long before |
had reasons to bless it. There was a
small pok panic in the city, but we had
not feared it, for our quarter was high
and clean, and in no way exposed to in
fection; so we were very careless about
being vaccinatcd. One night we had
been to concert with cousin of mine
from Boston There were many encores,
which heightened the performance, and
our seats were near the stage. George
Stevens was to take the midnight train,
and the station was at least mile from
the concert hall He must be there early
to get some baggage re checked, and it
was half-past eleven when he reached the
door and found it raining. Only one
carriage was left on the stand and had
it brought up to the door at once.
Though it was not a nice one, it was at
least shelter. l helped Nanon up to
the step, but the moment her head enter
ed the vehicle she shrunk back and jump
ed down to the pavement.
81 can't go in that thing. Jack. 1t
smela of something dreadful"
Don't be absurd, Nanny" said /
" Keep your handkerchief 10 your face