The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-12-28
Wit and EnmOr.

Down East they call the tramps
" turnpike sailors"
A PAssr1G notice-A perambulating
street sign.
Tbs hand-organ man has only one way
to turn for living.
SONG for The ferry colectors-'' Shall
we gather at the river?"
AN atrocious jester advised dropsical
prisoner to get "bailed out"
"DD ermake yer maiden speech this
campaign, Bill? % said one young man to
another lately politically ambitious in ST.
Louis. "Yes, I made un speech, an
that finished me" was the answer. "Tm
sellin' goods agin."
Too MUCH message is the present diff
Guilty of the Burlington HoaUk-Eye.
"We devace, says that paper, "much
of oux spote this morning to the messi-
dents pressage. Il is an able pape
slater, worthy of rueful pecarsal.
THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes,
Wherin our Savior's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say, spirit can walk abroad
No fairy takes nor witch hath power to charm,
So halowd and so gracious is the time.
- Shakespeare. -t
EDO YOU see that fellow lounging?"
said Bumkins, the other day. eyes.
How does he manage to Lively his
wits9" "Oh, no he's a cannibal." GA
cannibal! How2" "He lives on other
people" was B. s reply, as he vanished
around the corner.
A BUTCHER was invited the other night
to attend minstrel show, but positively
declined, even when a free ticket was
offered him. When pressed for reason
he replied (: If should go [ should
see SO many people who owe me- for meat
that it would spoil all my fun"
ANOTHER YEAR GONE.
Poor dear old one
What has it dc0e?
"What odds 2" you say;
Its had its day."
Poor dear old one!
Well-p'raps it's fun
To pull down one!
What harm? None.
Hal ha! What's one?
The Graphic has begun this sort of
thing I" Children, can you so transpose
the letters as to make a good word Of
'chesty 2 and can you make one word of
doonrew?'" That's been done to death
in private circles, and experts can guess
them just as fast as you can set 'em up.
"Scythe" and "one word oh, bother!
Do you circulate much in infant schools?
An eminent fnancier has just con-
Guided negotiations with railroad com
pany whose bonds he is to float, and the
prospectus is being drawn up. They
come to the sentence, 1.-THE first returns
may be expected by investors by the LIST
of June" "Hold on" he cries
"that's too SOON" "Well, say the 1st
of July" emo. Put down Smay be
expected immediately The LIST of July
is date F; Immediately is any time"
COMPENSATION.
Citizen-Who's dead, good sexton Why these
chimes?
You've struck the bell hundred times.
sexton-Puir mon puir mon the church's pillar
No less than Peter Grist, the miller.
Citizen-Not Peter! Then your bell is wrong;
He was but fifty. For as long
AS have lived always knew
How old he was and
Sexton Yes, it's true
But then, in ringin' him AVA
CAV him more than was the law;
Twill please him, for the gOodly soul
Was fond of takin' DOODLE toll.
"YoUR visits remind me of success
full newspaper, said Uncle Ja5ez, lean
ing his chin on his cane and glancing
on William Henry, who was sweet on
Angelica. "Why so2'' inquired Will
lam Henry. "Well, they commenced
on a weekly, grew to be q tri-weekly,
and have become daily, with a Sunday
eyes," said William
Henry, bracing up, and after we are
married we will issue an extra"
re- L