The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1876-06-01
CONGRESSIONAL WIT
DEBUT OF A NEW DEMOCRATIC
MEMBER.

ocratic wit who will forever henceforth
be known as "Never, Never, Never
Harrison of Illinois,
Mr.. Harrison-Mr Chairman, rise 10
oppose feature ofthe amendment which
the gentleman from Alabama thinks is
not an important one, it being, at any
rae, one to which he has paid no atten-
ton in his remarks. 1t is that partwhlch
strikes at the Marine Band, which pro-
poses to abolish this band. sethat
part of the amendment from two motives,
one purely aesthetic and the other purely
selfish. If had time would like to
dwell on the first motive. | would like
totell how, in olden times, at Athens, those
grand people considered music one Of
the great educators of youth; how wise
fathers regularly carried their children
where they could hear the finest music;
how they they thought itnot only ennobl-
ed the heart and purified the soul, but
through them beauti6ed the body. would
like to descant upon the beauty Of the
Athenian maid, the product Of music,
who stood in her naked loveliness be-
fore Praxiteles; and how the shapeless
mass of Parian marble bursht into the We
nus de Medici. would like dwell on the
manly beauty ofthe ounghero who stood
before Phidias, and how his image sprang
from the soulless marble into the godlike
Apollo Belvedere. would like to prove
that the beauty of those models for these
cheE-G'ceNvys was due in great meas
ure to music. But, sir, | have not the
time. So will pass by this first motive,
and confne myselfto the other, especially
as it will come home to the gentlemen on
my side ofthe House more readily. Mr..
Chairman for fifteen long dreary years
at the other end of Pennsylvania avenue
the White House has been occupiedby a
Republican, and during the winter
months, of evenings, the Marine Band
has been up there at receptions to dis,
course sweet music for the delectation of
his friends. AT every reception a Re
publican President has stood in room
receiving his guests, and his pet Repub
lican friends in white vests and white
cravats have stood behind him enjoying
the dulcet tones poured forth from the
silver throats of silvered instruments by
twenty-four gentlemen in scarlet coats.
For long years Of summer Saturday after
moons, twenty-four gentlemen in scarlet
coats have caused twenty four silvered
instruments, on the green in front of the
White House, to belch forth martial music
for the delectation Of Republican Presi-
dent. On the 4th of next March, sir,
there will be Democratic President in
the White House. Sir, is the Democratic
President to have no music Laughter J
have been there at a Presidential recep-
ton, went in and saw my friends from
the other side enjoying the music. |
went through a crowd of Republicans
with one hand on my watch-fob and the
other on my wallet. | caught now and
then the notes of the music, but | could
not enjoy it. was as stranger in a
strange land. felt that was one too
many, But next year, sir, it will be
different.
Mr.. Miliken-They will have their
hands on their watch fobs then. Laugh
ter
Mr.. Harrison-Very good; but we will
be enjoying the music, Laughter. Why,
sir, the other Saturday evening was out
in front of the White Houe among the
canatlle, the sans cHl0tteS, the men and
women without breeches and shoes.
Mr.. Townsend of New York-Was it
a Democratic meeting? (Laughter,)
Mr.. Harrson-And there sat the Chief
Magistrate, the Republican President,
with his feet on the balustrade, and his
Partaga in his mouth listening to the
Marine Band. His Republican friends
were about him. Their feet were on the
balustrade Of the south portico, wreaths
of blue smoke curled up in balmy deli
ciousness from Partagas fresh from the
Flowery Isle, | shook my mental fist in
their mental faces and whispered to my
self that every dog has his day, and |
asked myself, Shall this be ever thus
ly" And from deep down in my heart
came areply, "No No never! !" | will
see a Democratic President in the White
House. He shall receive his friends tie
the music of twenty four silvered instru
ments, filled with the breath of twenty
four gentlemen in scarlet coats. The
Marine Band shall play true Democratic
Music for a Democratic President
laughter land out there on that south
portico | want to see Democratic Pre-
sident sitting with his feet on the balus
trade enjoying one of his Partagas. But
they wish to abolish the Marine Band
Think of this being done, Democrats,
before the Democratic President goes
into his position, We have many men
who we feel are fit to fill that position.
In my minds eye see them now march
ing on from St. Louis 10 the White House.
Let me name them as they come
in sight. They come first from the
east. Why, there is the great Empire
State that we know is greater than
Alexander, was, for Alexander only cut
the Gordian knot with his sword but
the Gordian knot as made of nothing but
a hempen string; but this man with his
fist smashed ring Of adamantine steel,
cut and destroyed the canal ring. He
may be in the position, sir; and | want
the Marine Band there to give him music.
He is man of purity, aye of virginia.
purity. Perhaps he may wish to lead a
bride into the White House Shall we
say the Marine Band shall not play for
him the wedding march2 Shall we re
fuse to let the Marine Band fill with
sweet music the bridal chamber3 Laugh
ter.
Here the hammer feel, amid loud
cries of Go on !" go on -
The Chairman-Is there objection to
the gentleman from Illinois, proceeding !
Mr.. Lewis i must object
(Cries of "Oh, NOT "Oh, not!
Mr. Kasson-I move to strike out the
last word, and yield my time to the gentle
man from Illinois.
Mr.. Harrison-We have other men.