davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

Plato says that philosophy consoles 4
man in all trials; but we would have liked
to see Plato chasing a lawn mower about
his front yard and trying to produce
pleasing impression on the pretty girls
across the way about the time the machine
struck stone and the handle took him in
the pit Of the stomach.-Nor,oicL B,tl'rtia.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

The BILL TO SUPPRESS LorrERIEs.-Tho
fact that both Houses of Congress have
passed bill which will have the effect, if
carried out, of entirely suppressing the
lottery business IN the United States, or
even the circulation Of lottery tickets or
advertisements, has escaped public atten-
ton. Such bill was sent to the President
for signature last week The first section
relates TO the circulation through the mails
OF obscene literature, and is slight amend
ment Of the present law. The second
section amends Section 3,S94, so that it will
read as follows:
No letter or circular concerning lotteries,
so-called gift concerts, or other similar
enterprises offering prizes, or concerning
schemes devised and intended to
deceive and deiraud the public for the
purpose of obtaining money under false
prctenses shall be carried in the mail.
Any person who shall knowingly deposit
anything to be carried by mail in violation
OF this section shall be punishable by a
fine of not more than $500 nor less than
500, with costs Of prosecution.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

New Use FOR BCNTING.-Patriotic house
wives are gathering up the flags used on
the Centennial Fourth, and are making
spreads and bedquilts of them. Besides
making very beautiful quilt, they will be
quite novelty for. our grandchildren to
look at when the next Centennial comes
around.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

A colored preacher, in translating to his
hearers the sentence, "Thy harvest is
over, the season is ended, and the soul is
not saved" put it, "De corn has been
cribbed, dere amt any more work, and de
debbil is still foolin' wild dis community"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

IT TAXES FEMALE.--Of course any great
slummux OF man can push a lawn mower
up and down and around, and he can
nibble of the grass after a fashion, but
when it comes down to artistic work, pass
the mower over to young lady. At noon
yesterday lassic Of eighteen put a mower
at work on a strip of grass in Lodyard
thirty men and boys were leaning against
the ienceandapplauding. The first fewfcet
street, and before she was half through over
were cut on the bias, leaving Il strip along
the curbstOne as fringe. On the other
side of the walk she started out to tuck and
rufile, and finally cut most of the grass on
the gore, and finished up with deep
iiouncc along the street. Over by the fence
she hcmmed up q narrow strip, bound it
around with 4 clean cut, and then per
formed some Of the incest plating ever
seen, leaving enough tall grass along the
tcnce-Eoard to serve as an ovcrsllirt to the
lawn. The boys thought there ought to be
more padding around tho horse block, but
she was busy falling over the handle of the
mower just then, and limpcd into the house
without taking any of their advice.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

FRIENDs.-Never give up old friends for
new ones. Make new ones if you like, and
when you have learned that you can trust
them, love them if you will, but remember
the old ones still. Do not forge. they have
been merry with you in time of pleasure,
and when sorrow came to you they
sorrowed also No matter if they have
gone down in the social scale, and you up /;
no matter if poverty and misfortune have
come to them, while prosperity and plenty
have fallen to you-are they any the less
true for that ? Are not their hearts as warm
and tender if they do beat beneath home.
spun instead of velvet?
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

A man in Zurich, to make peace with
his sweetheart, took an oath that ho would
not speak for a year. Tho lady died before
the year was up-thought there is no
evidence to show that her death was caused
by her lovers idiocy-and he concluded to
90 on with his dumb-onstration to the end
Of his life, which he did, never speaking q
word for thirty years.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

These balmy summer nights young
man enthusiastic with an accordeen can
turn more souls from Zion in three hours
than Brother Moody can restore in three
months.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

Bishop Cheney has been nominated
Presiding Bishop of tho Reformed Episco-
pal Church, to fill the vacancy caused by
the death of Bishop Cummins.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

A countryman who often called at Ger.
tain bishops and was always told that his
lordship was at his studies and could not
be disturbed, at last observed, " wish the
Queen would never make folks bishops
who have not finished their studies.r
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

A Worcester mother having occasion to
rcprove her little seven-year old daughter
for reply: "Well, ma, some folks don't
like bad company, but always did.n
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

Forty'seven million pins made daily in
the United States, and yet if man wants
one he has to turn the house upside down
to get it.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

| pressed her gentle form to me, and
whispered in her car, if, when | was far
away, she'd drop for me tear. l paused
for somo cheering words, my throbbing
heart to cool; and with her rosy lips she
said, O Ike you're SIGH fool"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

It is great comfort to bald.headed
men, in these red.hot, star-spangled GEN.
tennial days, to reflect that tho eagle, too,
is bald.headed.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

TIE True CODE OF IIoxoE.-A man can
not afford to be unfaithful under any cir.
cumstancos; man can not afford to be
mean at any time; man can not afford to
do less than his best at all times, and un,
der all circumstances. No matter how un-
justly you are treated, you can not for your
own sake, afford to use anything but your
better self, nor render anything but your
better services. You can not afford to lie
to liar; you can not afford to be omean to a
mean man; you can not afford to do other
than uprightly with any man, no matter
what oxigencies may exist between him
and you. No man can afford to be any
but true man, living in his higher nature
and acting with the highest consideration.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

The dead race-horse "American girl !,
has $500 statue. While Columbus
Washington, etc, must wait another hun,
dred years for small tombstone.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

L" If you wish to visit the tomb of your
country's father just jump into my car.
riage," said a Washington hackdrivor to
Dom Pedro.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19
Curious Pleadings.

There is something very peculiar in the
fact OF an offender pleading the criminality
OF his offence rs a ground for escape from
its consequences. 1t implies, first, that he
acknowledges his offence, which is rare
enough to be peculiar. Itimplies also that
he prefers that some one else may suffer
for his errors.
Thus a noted gambler refuses to pay
several thousands of dollars due for rent, on
the ground that he leased tho house for
immoral purposes, and therefore the plain
tiff cannot recover. Equally peculiar was
the defence offered recently by a noted
spcculator, who refused to meet certain
obligations, on the ground that they re.
suited from transactions that were Of the
nature of gambling and were therefore
illegal. Many such cases will destroy all
confidence in the old adagc about honor
among certain class Of untrustworthy
persons. OF the same nature was the de.
fence offered some years since bv the
owners OF the steamer who refused to pay
damages in the case Of injuries to passen-
gers. They maintained that the parties
were travelling or Sunday, which was illegal,
and that therefore they had no claim. No
less ingenious was the plea of a theatre
manager in Pennsylvania, when sued for
damages tya spectator, who was injured
by tho fall Of a trapezc performer. He
maintained that the plaintiff was negligent
in taking front seat when such fcats were
being performed. 1t is gratifying to be
able to record that the wisdom Of the
Supreme Court was sufficient to determine
that this defence was not valid.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

" Here now, none of your slack" as the
potato bug remarked when Jersey farmer
came at him the other day with handful
Of lime.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19
stains the white radiance of eternity"
Gail Hamilton in Harper's Bazar.
CENTENNIAL CoxrRAsrs.-In a centennial

CENTENNIAL CoNTRAsTs.-In a centennial
address at Hampden Sydney College
(Virginia) Rev. DR.. Hoge, of Richmond,
madea comparison of the compacted States,
great cities, railroads and population of
1876 with the limited resources of G hun.
dred years ago. He stated that a minister
had been sent from the South to the
General Assembly in Philadelphia because
he had been before and knew the wav.
The establishment of a stage coach twice a
week from Richmond to Washington in tho
early part of the present century was an
extraordinary event and of doubtful ex.
pediency. About the same time the cele.
brated Mr.. Richie had announced in his
paper, the Enquirer, the remarkable rate
of a steamboat between Richmond and
Norfolk, going at six miles an hour up
streaml When DIR. Franklin asked for a
lady's hand in marriage her father objected
because he was only a printer, and there
were already two newspapers in the United
States, and another could not be supported.
Egypt was called the granary of the world.
Now, said DR.. Hoge, there are raised three
hundred millions of bushels in the United
States-more than was raised in Egypt
during the longest life of any of the
Pharaohs.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

An English clergyman was "turned
down" at fashionable speIling,bco for
spelling drunkenness with one an"
Shortly afterwards he returned to his
parish, and found himself very coldIy re-
ceiycd by his rarishioners. He sent for
the parish clerk and asked him what was
the cause. "Wcll, sir" replied the man,
"a report has come down here that YOU
was turned out Of great lady's house in
Lohdon for drunkenness"
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19
Domestic Receipts.

RECEIPT FOR CHOLERA INFANTUM.-I have
noticed by the late mortuary reports and
also by yonr editorial remarks the terrible
mortality among infants from cholera
infantum. l have receipt that has been
IN our family for not less than seventy
years, which was used by my mother in
raising a large family of children, and bv
her advice was used by her children with
their children, and with uniform success
Gused 1T in my own family only after our
physician had apparently failed to give
relief, and i'll few hours the greatest i'm
proycment was manifested and speedy re
coVcry ensued. have recommended if to
others with similar result in every case
The receipt is: Two red oak balls. two nut
mcgs, cloves and rhubarb, the same ouan-
tity OF each. Pound them up fine and put
into quart of best French brandy; boil
to onc-half the quantity; add loaf sugar
enough to make it sweet, and give an
ordinary sized teaspoonful three or four
times day. | have full faith in the above
receipt, and that its use may save the lives
Of many " innocents." | have few of the
red oak balls which | will furnish to anv
one disposed to try the above. The pre-
paration will keep for years.
G. T. SANGsToN,
Baltimore.
FERN LEAF TIDY.-Talle a piece Of Swiss
muslin and baste on it fern leaves, using
very fine needle and thread; then take
an old toothbrush and dip it in very black
ink, and, holding over the muslin, draw
fine comb over the brush a number of
times, dipping tho brush in the ink as
often as necessary. After the white part
OF the muslin outside the fern leaves is
well covered with ink spots lay in the sun
to dry. When well dried untacl1 the fern
leaves and iron tho tidy with q warm iron.
Then SOW around one edge either lace or
fringe
FLOATING IsLAND.-Two spoonfuls of
curtain jelly, two spoontuls of raspberry
Jam strained through sieve, the whites of
iour eggs. In the first place beat the eggs
very well; then put in the sweetmeats,
and continue beating until it is fine froth
Lay in the bottom OF china desert dish
thin slices of spongecake Or Naples biscuit,
cover with sweetmeats and cream or rich
milk, and heap your froth high in tho
middle. You may use only ono kind of
jelly or jam if you prefer
BRoILING MEATs.-When meats are broil,
ing on gridiron or hot Goals the sudden
heat applied sears the outside, which shuts
in the juices, and the rapid application Of
heat soon cooks the meet through. if in
moderately thin pieces 1t is then tender.
juicy and paliatable. Those who never
broil fresh meat, fish or poultry do not
know the excellence of properly cooked
dish Of animal food.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19
WHOLE NO. 1,l0S.

Pere llyacinthe points out tho reforms
which he considers necessary to secure the
unity of the Church, among which are the
recognition by the Church of Rome Of civil
marriage, the reform of the confessional,
the abolition Of enforced clerical cclibacy,
the translation Of the liturgy everywhere
into the vulgar tongue, and the recognition
OF the laity as part and parcel Of the
Church. When these conditions are fulfilled
he believes that a reunion Of the Latin.
Crock, and Anglican Churches will not
only be possible, but certain.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

A Russian Count with uErropounceab
name has brought himself into notice in
Europe by losing 100000 francs in two
days at Monaco. When the last piece of
his fortune was gone the Count lamented
that he had nothing left with which to
buy his supper. The proprietor of the
gambling house showed his generosity and
magnanimity by pushing over to him five
hundred francs. The Count took it and
invited all his companions at roulette to
fine supper. When this was over he
took carriage to go to Manton. Arriving
at the destination the coachman found
that his passenger had disappeared. The
next day the Counts body was found at
the foot of high precipice on the road.
He had opened the door of the carriage
as it was passing a lofty cliff and sprung
out.
Smyrna times., 1876-07-19

What is the latest thing in dressing2
Night dresses.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
A Sweet Temper.

No trait OF character is more valuable
than the possession OF q sweet temper.
Home can never be made happy without
II. 1t Is like tn. flowers that spring up H.
our pathway. reviving and cheering Us.
Let man 70 home 1t night wearied add
worn By the tolls Of the day, and hCw
soothing is . word dictated by good
disposition! It ID sunshine falling on his
heart. He is happy. and the cares OF life
are forgotten. A sweet temper has q
soothing influence over whole family.
Where it is found in the VIE and mother,
you obs rye kindness and love pr dofni0.
atin2 over the natural f cling OF bad
heart. Smiles, kind words and looks
characterize the children, and peace and
love have their dwelling there. Study.
then, to acquire and retain swe + M
per. 1t is more valuable than gold; it
captivatcs more than beauty; and 10 the
close OF life 1t retains all its freshness and
power.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
Erratic Writing.

The following IS from the Danbury
News. 1t is well SAID. and expresses
forcibly what every editor thinks:
1--WE don't mind how eccentric person
IL in his dress. THAI IS his own business.
But no man has got right 10 be eccen-
trio in ms penmanship if hr designs the
manuscript f0r. others. A" eccentricity IN
writing Is abominable. II tires the eyes,
tires the brain. and blunts the moral ia
ture of the reader. An article. to have
its merits understood. should b" read flu.
emily. We wish writer's for the press
would understand that they can brighten
up their chances OF . welcome by plain.
straightforward penmanship. We are
deeply interested in this suhject, a. our
time IL pretty we'll occupied. II We were
the president of base ball club, with no.
thing 70 do but sit astraddlc of fence
and watch for ,haw. it would be differ
ent."
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
Do 1t With Thy Might

Fortune, success. fame, positio" ore
never gained, but BY piously, determined
y. bsavely sticking, growing. living 10
thing until it is fairly accomplished. In
short, you must carry thing through. IT
you want to be anybody or anything. No
matter If it does cost you the pleasure, the
society. No matter for these. Stick TO =
.1iiny and carry it through; believe you
were made for the matter. and that no
one else can do il. Put forth the whole
energies. Stir, wake. e'cc'ri;y yourself !;
and 30 10 your task. Only once learn TO
carry a thing through in all its complete
ness and proportions. and you will become
q hero. You will think better Of yourse" !:
Others will think better Of you. OF course
tl,ey will. The world, in its very heart
sdmires the stern. determined doer.
Drive right along, then. IN whatsoever
you undertake. You'll be successful.
never fear.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
snow. where's that ws,b nan ;" inooj

"Now. where's that wash PAM" inquir
ID an irritable man, - be stumbled around
throaeA Ne kitchen the other morning.
"Indeed, l don't know" s&id the servant.
"Aint you had i.!" mo, SIR" said the
girl Aharvly. Is she pnnxed her hands
down Into the dough she wss making for
biscuits, II doa't never wash ill sitter
bseakfsst." Five minutes later she wss
pickiog up her duds. bot sue don't know
yss Why che wss discharged. She still 10.
sises that ~ Was inuocsst, that che dds.
know wAevs the pan vas, that che never
did sse It, 10 facl. Some men arc too cap.
tious lus any use. e
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
California Strawberries +.

The Nevada (Cal., Transcript Of . re-
cent date says: "Fclix Cillet has prescnt
Cd 70 with box Of ripe strawberries. Of
the Princess Dagmsr' variety, which had
just been picked from the wires In his gar.
dens. Ripe strawbcrrirs. some of which
measure three and quarter inches in cir,
conference, picked on the 18th Of Decem.
Der. and grown in the open air at m al.i-
tude of 1850 feet above the ocean, with
huge banks OF snow three or four feet
deep IN sight, and not thirty miles distant,
shows what Kidd Of . climate We have 10
California. and particularly in the foot
hills of the Sierra Nevada Mountain"
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
A True Hero.

A boy about nine years old was bathing
one day, when, by come mistake. he col
into deep water AM began TO sink. HI
elder brother saw him.. and ran to save
him; but lacking strength Or skill, he alec
ssnk to the bottom Oi the river. As the
Two drowning brothers rose 10 the surfa'e
for the last time, they saw third brother
running down the bank for the purpose
of trying to save them. Then it was thar
the nine. year-cld acted the part of hero
Struggling as he was with death, ne gath
cred oil his remaining strength and cried
10 his brother on the shore:
Don't come in, q father Will lose all
bis boys at cnce -
Noble little fellow! Though dying. he
forgot himself and thought only Of his
fathers grief. He was genuine hero
His brother obeyed his dying command.
and was spared 10 comfort bis father
when his two dead sons were taken from
the river, clasped IN each others arms.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
You will be Wanted.

Take courage. my lad. What Il you
are but an humble, obscure apprentice
Z poor neglected. crphan-n scott and a
by.word for the thoughtless and gay. who
despise virtue in rags. because of its tat
ters! Have you an intelligent mind. un-
tutor.d though It be? Have you virtu
ous .im, pure desire. an honest heart
Depend upon it, some of these days you
will be wanted. The time may b.. long
deferred.you may be grown to manhood,
and you may even reach your prime ere
the call is made; but virtuous aims. pure
desires and honest hearts are too few not
to be appreciated Dot to be wanted
Your virtue shall not always hide you as
in . mantle-obscurity shall not slwsys
veil you from the multitude Be chivslric
IN your combat with circumstances Be
active, however small your sphere Of &C.
ton. 1t surely will enlarge with every
moment, and you will have continued ~.
crement
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11

| CENTEN VIAL.
|1776. 1876.
PROCLAMATION.
CHICAGO AND NORTH WESTERN
RAILWAY
T s{JJtH[i ! POPULAR ROUTE OVERLAND TO
Passengers for CHICAGO, Niagara Falls,
Pit,sburg, PHILADELPHIA, Montreal.
Quebec, New YORK, Boston, or any
point East, should buy their
CONTINENTAL TICKETS
Via the Pioneer Route.
THE CHICAGO & NORTHWESTERN
RAILWAY.
THIS IS THE BEST ROUTE EAST.
Its Track is of STEEL RAILS. and on
it has been made the FASTEST time that
has ever been MADE in this country. BY
this route passengers for points east of
Chicago have choice of the following
lines from, Chicago:
BY THE PITTSBURG. FORT WAYNE
AND CHICAGO AND PENNSYL-
VANIA RAILWAYS:
9 THROUGH TRAINS DAILY, with
= Pullman Palace Cars through to Phil
adelphia and New York on each train.
I THROUGH TRAIN, with Pullman
i Palace Cars TO Baltimore and Wash
ingt0n.
BY THE LAKE SHORE MICHIGAN
SOUTHERN RAILWAY AND CON-
NECTIONS NEW YORK CENTRAL
AND ERIE RAILROADS.:
9 THROUGH TRAINS DAILY, With
= Palace Drawing Room and Silver
Palace Sleeping Cars through to New
York.
BY THE MICHIGAN CENTRAL.
GRAND TRUNK, GREAT WEST
ERN AND ERIE AND NEW YORK
CENTRAL RAILWAYS:
9 THROUGH TRAINS, with Pullman
- Palace Drawing Room and Steering
Falls, Buffalo, Rochester, OF New York
City.
BY BALTIMORE AND OHIO RAIL
ROAD:
8 THROUGH TRAINS DAILY. With
I'd Pullman Palace Cars for Newark
GAINESVILLE, Wheeling. Washington and
Baltimore, without change.
This is the SHORTEST, BEST and
only line running Pullman celebrated
PALACE SLEEPING CARS AND
COACHES. connecting with Union PacificI
Railroad at OMAHA and from the WEST
via Grand Junction, Marshall. CEDAR
RanIds: Clinton. Sterling and Dixon, forl
CHICAGO AND THE EAST.
This popular route is unsurpassed Orl
Speed, Comfort and Safety. The smooth
wel)-ballasted and perfect track of STEEL
rails. the celebrated Pullman PalaceI
Sleeping Cars, the perfect Telegraph Sys-|
tenn of moving trains, the regularity With
which they run, the admirable arrange. |
ment for running through cars to OhicngoI
IIOm III kOIHtS w eSt, secure 10 pAsScngefeI
all the comforts in modern Railway Tfay.I
cling. No change OF Cars aud no tedious
delays ut Ferries.
Passengers will find Tickets via mi.
Favorite Route at the Gereral Ticket,
Offices of the Central Pacific Railroad in
San Franctsc" and Sacramento. and in al,l
the Ticket Offices If the Central Pacific |
Railroad. w. II. STENNETT
Gen. Pass. Agent.
MARVIN HUGHTTT.
Gen Stunt, Chicago.
Fl. p STANWOOD. General AGENCY
III Montgomery street. San Frnnr,scss.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11
Sambo as q The O0Eian.

There is in this city Southern con
trahand who Is rs innocent OF the guile
Of Northern darkcys % any Of the genu
inc Africans of South Carolina He came
much puzzled. to his employer, saying,
Mary Jane and Mike were discussing, !"
the kitchen. the relative antiquity of
Catholic and Je .i.h religious. Am dt
Jews ~ old Is the Caffolics?' he anxious.
" inquired.
oh, yes was the answer, the Jews
are older. Christ waea Jew
What !! exclaimed 6ambo, .his eyes an!
mouth both opening wide What you
say? Christ > Jswi prr ra
YES" was the reply, he was.s
Gasping Tor breath, 6ambU was barely
able to respond.
.Whui-whuf-whuf whufore dey 60
back on him!
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-11

Shall We hang men In Nebrsskat' asks
the Omshs Hssald. II you do justice
yes viii. cd good macy u them 700.