Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-05-12

question Of third term fo- Cvss,r :,
with Rev. DR.. Hopkins. At themasfr5 go
interesting moment of the debate
the engine suddenly began to work
and the next instant a two-incb
stream struck Parker in the stomach
with terrific force and rolled
him over in the gutter. He felt as
if the gulf stream had been shot
through him from front to back.
Then the pipe gave couple of &c.
centric jerks, smashed Dr. Hopkins
hat into black silk chaos, and empti-
ed hogshead of water into his
open mouth. It concluded the ex-
erclses by getting Iinto such posi-
tlon that it could play 100000,
gallons q minute up the left trowsers
leg OF the PROSTATE Mr.. Parker SEEM
ed to lose all interestin the capacity
of that engine. He went home for
his Sunday clothes, and he has sinca
intimated to his confidential friends
that if Grant should spend the whole
OF his third term squirting stream
$4,000 feet high with that diabolical
fire-extinguisher, he Parker, would 2
not go round the corner to witness
the spectacle.-Rtil. Bulletin.
THoUGHTIEssNEss.-H is not Vi
cious, and he has no special malice
IN his heart, but his thoughtlessness
leads to more human misery than
results from the ,premeditated wick
edness of deliberate transgressor.
On Saturday be scattered orange
peel on the stairs and lobby of our
building, and continued this along
down the street as he went, ocea-
sionmg several strains and one severe
fall as his victims incautiously trod
thereon. He belongs to a large
family, all of which throw banana
skins and orange-peel upon the pave
ment, not for the express purpose of
endangering the life or limbs OF the
wayfarers, because they have in their
hearts no thoughtful regard for hu-
man welfare. His brother is the man
who carries an umbrella over his
shoulder, with the point well back,
which describes an arc of three feet
as he swing his body in walking.
Several persons have been injured in
the face, one nearly lost his eve, and
a number of lesser grievances have
been inflicted through his habit, but
he didn't intend to injure any one,
although helwill not stop the prae-
tice unless it is made criminal by act
of the Legislature. His own cous-
ins, quite a number of them, are the
men who cross their legs in the cars
and omnibus, thus wiping their feet
on the dresses and pantaloons of
their fellow passengers. One Of them
is generally found in the cabin of
the ferry boat, either near the door
of the narrow passage by the wheel
house, where his protruded boot trips
every passer who does not go by him
with great care. He would not put
his feet on the floor and draw them
in little while the throng goes by
to procure life-membership IN any
one of the great benevolent societies
he SO fondly patronizes in his Sun
day contributions. His more distant
relatives who stand tattling with a
friend in the middle of the sidewalk,
thus greatly obstructing the travel
or saunter slowly up the street with
curved elbows, or whisk through a
crowd with a cane under their arms,
are al readily recognized without
any further description. They are
a large family, and they are nuisan-
ces IN whatever community they take
up their abode.-.JOatrndI Commerce.