American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-02-26
A Crooked Trick.

In these days of crooked whisky any
new Developments on this subject are
looked for with great interest. In fact,
crooked whisky just now seems to be more
popular than the straight article. The
following, however, is the history of the
crookedest case we have yet heard Of
And still it was, as the boys say, drawn
very mild" In fact, the Springfield fell
lows say it was entirely too thin for any
thing. But, for the story: $3.50
Pat Shields is a saloon-keeper in Har-
vel, Ill. He is known among the lovers
of the ardent as a good fellow, but Pats
business, like that of all the rest OF man.
kind, is subject to the financial ups and
downs of the times, and he is sometimes a
little behindhand in meeting his bills, but
always manages to pay up. Now, Pat
has been buying some whisky of Myers, a
wholesare dealer of Springfield, but has
this city. Myers has always been very
particular about Pats paying right up to
the day, whether times were good or
bad, while Brenneman. having confidence
in Pats honesty, has been lenicnt with
him. The natural result has been that
Pats affection for the Springfield men is
not very strong.
A short time since Myers collector
called on Pat and found him without
money enough to pay the bills due. On
instructions from the house. Pat was sued
for the amount and judgment obtained.
Next day after the trial, w. p. Shade,
Brenneman's collector, was in town, and
called to see Pat. While in the saloon,
and in the act of receiving some money
from Shields, the Springfield man came
in. He was surprised to see the condition
of things, and as soon as an opportunity
offered, addressed himself to Shade.
What are you doing here?''
ooh, taking in a little money for goods"
said Shade.
Why, do you sell Shields liquors''
"Of course.''
6 And he pays his bills?'
&C Certainly; sold him bill to-day"
The Springfield nan had an idea. He
would ''get out an execution, and take in
that Decatur whisky soon as it struck
the town." and he went away to wait for
the opportunity.
After he was gone, Shade says:
g Pat, that fellow intends to seize the
first barrel Of whisky that we send your
g Is that so? What shall do about
it?'' l.r..r.
OH tell you! Put up a job on him and
have some fun. You have an empty bar
rel of ours here?'
:. Yes"
Well, fill it up with water, and to-
morrow morning before daylight have it
set on the platform at the depot, and-let
it sit there. There won't be any harm in
that, will there?' @
"Nivir bit," said Pat.
Next day the Springfield man and his
sc smeller," a sort of pettifoging lawyer OF
the place, while on the look out, espied a
barrel of whisky from Brenneman, directed
to g Pat Shields, Harvel, ILL.,"
1t was promptly seized, IN spite of Pats
protest against their taking his g goods"
He, however, succeeded in getting an in
Identifying bond Pat then went 10 Mr..
Harvel, who was in the secret, to get him
to go on bond to replevy his goods ~
but Harvel declined, of course. 1t was
something he s. didn't like to do" Pat
was determined to have some satisfaction
out of the Collector, at any rate; SO he
knocked him down and gave him Il
pounding, for which Pat paid a fine of
three dollars and costs.
When it came to selling the goods
the Constable wanted TO know if the bar
rel should be opened.
NO" says the Collector, @ sell it rs it
is.n
He then bid thirty dollars, the amount
of his claim, and got the goods.
g What shall do with it," asked the
Constable.
"Send it to Springfeldr said the Col
lector.
Pat then took receipt from the Collect
or for all he owed the firm, also a receipt
from the Constable, and went back to the
saloon, laughing in his sleeve about how
he had paid off the debt and licked the
Collector, all for three dollars and costs,
while the Collector went home rejoicing
over his getting nine:ydollar barrel OF
fine Decatur whisky t,r only thirty dol
lars and IL knock down.
When the barrel of water arrived in
Springfield Myers and IA number of MS
intimate friends gathered around it in
pleasant anticipation of the best drink of
whisky they had tasted Tor months. The
barrel was tapped and tasted, when Myers
yelled: "Shoot dat visky! Solt, by
gracious !'-Decatur (IH. Times.
THERE is man in Rochester so close