South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-10-27

Anu oot ue way ne LUX me III
But g lang"
II" Don't you think you have pre-
judice against the prisoner" asked q
lawyer Of witness. VERY likely"
was the reply, II have caught him steal.
ing two or three times"
@ Deer Bill; Doan't kun TO sec
me emmy moar for while emmy way
Father has got awfully skeered about
burglars and lie sets up every mite till
lait with dubblc.barrelled shotgun
watching the backyard He put moren
pound NV led into Smiths. big nu.
foundland dog wich was kummin over
the fens after bone last mite.
''The rose is red, the violet's blue,
i wouldn't kun now if was YOU"
To Bishop Morley was fond Of joke.
Once, when the footman was out of the
way, lie ordered the coachman to fetch
some water from the wcll, to which the
eoachman made a grumblng objection
that his business was to drive, not run
errands. well, them said Morley,
bring out the coach and four; set the
pitcher inside, and drive to the well :"
a service which was several times re.
peateed, to the great amusement Of al
most all the village.
sS'A young lady visiting shop in
New York was looking at music box
that had just ceased playing. Wishing
to hear it again, she attempted to start
it but without success. "Oh, pshaw -
she said, lit won't go for me-" One Of
the proprietors overhearing the remark,
stepped up and said, Il wish l was 4
music box-Pd go for you"
An ILLINOIS BABY SHow.-The Kan
kake (Ill.) Gazette bursts out over a 10.
cal episode as follows: There were
thirty-one entries at the baby show at
VIII county fair. There were babies
lean and babies fat babies named T.
thel and babies named Pat babies long
and babies short, some with q howl and
some with snort as ugly as satan, as
homely as sin; each surrounded by all
of its kin. Such mob Such breeze
And to think of being q committeeman
on these babies Why there were thir.
ty women after the show who declared
In the most excited and murderous man.
ner that the man never lived who knew
anything, anyhow ~
6V"The sun is all very WELL" said
an Irishman, "but the moon is worth
two of it: for the moon affords us light
when we want it; whereas the sun is
with us in tho day time when we have
no occasion for il -
u Scotch minister, after n hard
days labor, and while at a "donner.tea,' -
rs be called il, kept necessarily praising
tho "haam," and stating that Mrs.
Dunlop at hame was az fond o. ham
like that as he was" when the mistress
kindly offered TO send her the present
OF ham. ITS unco kin o. We, unco
kin, but I'll no pit We Ia the trouble
III just talk il hame on the horse afore
me- When, on leaving, lie mounted,
and the ham was put into q sack, some
difficulty was experienced in getting il
TO lie properly. His inventive genius
soon cut the Gordian knot. II think,
mistress, cheese in the ithcr en- wad
max gran balance" The hint was
Immediately acted on, and like another
John Gilpin, lie moved away with his
balance true"
liza school-master tells the follow
ing good one: II was teachingin quic,
country village The second morning
u my session had leisure TO survey
my surroundings, and among tho scanty
furniture ! ospied n threeleggcd stool
Is this the Ounce block" | asked 9
little girl OF FIVE. The dark eyes spar
klod, the curls nodded assent, and tho
lips rippled out, i guess so; the teach
.er always sits on it. The stool was
ucoccupied that term
EVrMan yields 70 custom. a. he bows
10 fate
IVA correspondent inquiries what