Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1876-04-04

my band 10. but you wouldn't do ii, and
here you are. sort OF expected you.
The editor was looking sad, perplexed
and detected.
He surveyed the wreck which that old
rioter and those two young farmers had
made. and then said: This is sad busi.
ness-a very sad business. There is the
muoilage bottle broken, and six panes OF
glass, and a spittoon and two candlesticks.
But that is not the worst. The reputation
oil the paper is ipjured-permanently,
fear. True there never was such call
for the paper before. and it never sold
such large edition or scared to such
celebrity. but does one want TO be famous
for lunacy, and prosper upon the infirmi-
ties of his mindP My friend, as am an
honest man, the street out here is fCll OF
people, and others are roosting on the
fence, waiting to get glimpse of you.
because they think you are crazy. And
we'll they might after reading your edi-
torials. They are disgrace to journal
ism. Why, what put it into your head
that you could edit paper OF this nature
You do not seem 10 know the 6rst rudi-
ments Of agriculture. You speak OF
furrow and a harrow as being the same
thing; you talk OF the moulting season
for cows, and you recommend the domes-
tication OF the polecat on account OF its
playfulness and its excellence as O ratter.
Y our remark that CLAIMS will lie quiet il
music will be played to them was super
fuous-entirely superaLous. Nothing
disturbs clans. CLANS aLwayS lie quiet.
CLAIMS care nothing whatever about mu.
sic. Aud heavens aud earth. friend Ii
you had made the acquiring OF ignorance
the study oil Jour life you could not have
graduated with higher honor than you
could to-day. / never saw anything like
it. Your observation Of the horse
chestnut, as an article of commerce
steadily gaining in favor, is simply cal.
culated to destroy this journal. l want
you TO throw up your situation and go.
want no more holiday could not enjoy
it il had it. Certainly not with you in my
chair. would always stand in dread OF
what you may be going to recommend
next. 1t makes me lose all patience every
time | think OF your discussing oyster
beds under the head of Landscape Gar
dening." | want you to go. Nothing on
earth could persuade me to take another
holiday. Oh why didn't you tell me you
didn't know anything about agriculture"
Tell you, you cornstalk, you cabbage.
you son of q caulinower! It's the frs.
time ever had such an unieeling remark.
| tell you | have been 10 the editorial
business going on fourteen years. and it
is the first time / ever heard of mans
having to know anything in order to edit
newspaper. You turnip! Who write
the dramatic critiq1es for the second rate
players? Why. parcel OF promoted
shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries,
who know just as much about good act.
ing as do about good farming. Who
review the books3 People who never
wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders
on finance' Parties who have the
largest opportunities for knowing nothing
about 1t. Who criticise the Indian cam.
paigns? Gentlemen who do not know
a war.whoop from q wig wan. and
who have never had to run foot.
ace with tomahawk, or pluck arrows
out Of the several members of their fam.
lilies to build the evening campfire with
Who write the temperance appeals and
clamor about the flowing bowl' Folks
who will never draw another sober breath
till they do itiu the grave. Who edit the
agricultural papers. you yamp Men. as
q general thing, who tail in the poetry
line. yellow covered novel line. sensation
drama line. aud finally fall back on agri.
culture as temporary reprieve from the
poor-house. You try to tell me anything
about the newspaper business Sir, !
have been through it from Alpha TO
Omaha. and l tell you the less man
knows the bigger noise he makes and the
higher salary he commands. Heaven
knows. If had been ignorant. ins cad of
cultivated, and impudent instead OF diff.
dent, could have made name for myself
in this cold, selfish world. take my
leave, sir. Siuce have been treated as
you have treated me. am perfectly will
lug to 60. But have done my duty.
have fulfilled my contract as far as was
permitted to do 1t. said could make
your paper OF interest to all classes-and
| have. l said / could run your circula.
tion up TO twenty thousand copies, and il
| had 1.-TWO more weeks I'd have done it.
And I'd have given you The best class of
readers ever an agricultural paper had
not farmer in it, nor solitary individ-
ual who could tell a watermelon tree from
peach vine TO save his life. You are
the loser by this rupture, not me, pie.
plant. Adios."
then lett.
For the Oxford Democrat.
A Trip to Pixies Peak.