The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-05-19
FACTS AND FANCIES.

court IN sharp voice, " A concnOlO-
| gist." "What's that?" said the Judge.
al open clans" said the conchologist.
"Now, George, my DEAR" said Mrs.
| Spilkins at the play the other night, as
her hubby was cropping for his hat, "you
needn't go out to get roasted coffee for
your heartburn; have brought hand
full in my pocket"
OUT west,-a short while since, a sub
scriber paid a years subscription to a
weekly paper consisting of n single sheet,
| by sending the proprietor ten cents in
copper change, half bushel of peas and
a piece of pork, whereupon the editor of
the paper came out in the next issue
with leader on the resources of this
great country, and the renewed activity
and prevailing prosperity among the
horny handed" sons of toll.
| LIFE everywhere! The air is crowded
with birds-beautiful, tender, intelligent
birds, to which life is a song and thrill
ing anxiety the anxiety Of love. The
air is swGrming with insects-those little
animated miracles. The waters are peo-
pied with innumerable forms, from the
animalcule, so that one hundred and fifty
millions of them would not weigh n
grain to the whale so large that it seems
al lnidnu 40 IL slOSPS upon OhO "o'Oo'
| G.. A. Sala.
STRAY CURL.
II hung DER her shoulders divinely,
A curl of magnificent gold,
l thought as il lay there supnely,
OF tresses that German girls sold,
| envied the curl so reposing,
Like sunshine or ambient pearl,
But while was dreamly doing
II fell with quivering whirl-
And that curl-ah! my dream was then
ended
II lays there aghast on the floor,
While its owner in ignorance wended,
Mid silence, her steps TO the door!
PARTING.
" So far-so farp Nay, sweet! nor distant
Nor breadth of waters can avail TO bar
My love from thee. Alasl 'ts ever far,
To yearning hearts, the smallest space that
stands
Beyond the compass of outstretching hands;
And never near-how close so e'er to each
True lovers be--if kisses may not reach
Across the distance. Since harsh Fate COM
mands,
Darling, FAREWELL With tearful eyes go,
Unknowing when the glad return shall be;
But will think-to mitigate my woe
How loving souls of time and tide are free;
And oft, to greet thee, dearest, mine know,
EHultant, will o'erleap the sundering sea!
-SG7bneJ's tor Nay.
NoBLEssE OBLIGE. 49, In.erlocutOr
+" Who's that snowy woman who talks
and laughs so loud, and digs people in
the ribs?" Interlocutrix-" Oh, that's
the duchess of Bayswater she was
Lady Gwendolen Beaumanoir, you
known' Interlocutor with WARMTH
a" All to be sure That accounts for
her high bred ease, her aTistocratic SIM
plicity of manner, her natural and
straight-forward- Interlocutrix (put-
ting up her eye glass y" BY the by, par
don me! have unintentionally misin-
formed you; it's Mrs. Judkins; she's
the widow of an alderman, and her
father was a cheesemonger in the New
Cut v' Interlocutor-" Dear me l-ah !.
hum !-er-hum hal That quite
alters the case She is very vulgar,
must say-awful ~ n. BIT was the
duchess, after all.-Punch.
REJECTED POEM.
far away in the wild western prairie
nobody is living there,
away in the eastern Sahara
nobody is living there,
except few wandering travellers
travelling here and there.
far away on the western pacific
nobody is living there;
far away on the eastern atlantic
nobody is living there
except few wandering seamen
sailing here and there.
away on the border of northern arctic
nobody is living there,
on the border of southern antarctic
nobody is living there
except a few cold frozen trappers
trapping here and there.
The St. Louis Republican mentions
some of the troubles that will follow the
new money When a man walks much
the inside of his legs will be chafed raw.
When less than n dollar is TO go by mail
it will have to be converted first into
postage stamps. When you run for
car money will fly out of your pockets
at every jump. When you tell your
wife t4ht you have no money she will
say that you lie, for she heard it jingle.
1t will be difficult to pay man quar-
ter by mistake for a half When you are
in a hurry, the storekeeper will have to
weigh the coin in his hand and sound it
twenty-five times on the counter before
he can determine whether it is good.
The baby will swallow dime a day. A
boy with quarter will lose it in a crack
in two minutes, from which no amount
of cOaxing with forks and chips can re-
cover it. Sleepy men will put buttons
and lozenges into contribution boxes as
of yOre."