Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1876-11-08
Briggs and the Dog.


some law papers the door opened and
a man hobblcd in upon crutches.
Proceeding to chair, and making
cushion OF some newspapers, he sat
down very gingerly, placed band,
aged leg upon another chair and said
"Judge, my name is Briggs
called in, Judge, to get your opinion
about Il little point Of law. Mr.. Judge,
s'posin' you lived up the pike here
halfa a mile, next door to man named
Johnson. And s'posin' you and John
son was to get into an argument about
the human intellect and you was to
say to Johnson that a splendid IL
lustration of the superiority Of the hu-
man intellect was to be found in the
power of the human eye to restrain
the feroc;ty of a wild animal? And
s'posin' Johnson was to remark that
that was all bosh, because nobody
could hold wild animal with the hu.
man eye; and should declare that you
could hold the savagest beast that
was ever born if YOU could only Tx
your gaze on bin
"Well, then, sposin johnson was to
say he'd bet n hundred dollars ne
could bring tame animal that you
could't hold with your eye, and You
was TO take him up on it, and John
son was to ask you to come down to
his place to settle the bet. You'd go,
we'll say, and ,Johnson'd wanderronnd
to the back of the. house and pretty
soon come front again with dog big
ger than any four decent dogs ought
to be. Aud s'posin' Johnson'd let go
of that dog and sick him on you, and
he'd come at you like sixteen inch
shell out of howitzer, and you'd get
skeery about it, and try to hold the
dog with your eye apd couldn't. And
s'posin' you'd suddenly conclude that
maybe your kind Of an eye wasn't
calculated to hold that kind OF a dog
you'd conclude to break for plum
tree. in order to have a chance to col
) lect your thoughts, and try 10 reflect
what sort ot an eye would be best
calculated to molllty that sort OF
dog? You ketch my idea, of course
every well, then; s'posir you'c
take your eye off that dog johnson
mind YOU, all the time sicking him or
e and laughing, and you'd turn and LEG
+ it for tree, and begin to swarm III
> as fast asyou could. Well, sir, s'posln
$ Just as you got three feet from th'
ground Johnson's dog would grab yo'
o by the leg and hold on like wise
$ shaking you until you nearly lost you
d hold. And s'posin Johnson was Il
9 stand there and holler Fix your e.y
on him, Briggs, Why don't yo'
II manifest the power of the human in
J. tellect o and so on-gasslng ava.
al with ironical remarks like those am
N s'posin' he kept that dog on the le
a until he made you swear to pay tn
bet. and then, at last, hal % pry o
IS the dog with hot poker, Srlngln
u away at the same time half poun
le of your meat in the dogs mounth, S
~ that YOU are to be carried home ON
stretcher, and hire four doctors
n, keep you from dying with lockjaw'
"S'posin this, what l want to kno
at is, could't you sue johnson for dan
al aye, and make him pay heavily II
s. what that dog did ? That's what
as want to get at. y
is The Judge thought for a minut
es and then said
"Well, Mr.. Briggs, don't think
could. If l agreed to lie, johnson $
.lv the dog on me | should be party
es' the transaction, and could not I
cover"
r. "Do YOU mean to say that the la
won't make that internal scoundr
johnson, suffer for letting his dog e
me up p
81 think not, if you state the ca
properly" =,
ut won't, hey 2" exclaimed NJ
w ~ Briggs, Historically. son, very wei
o. ., very we'll 1t is a beautiful gove'
II" meut, this is! Beautiful amt it
I suppose if the dog had chawed |
'"' all up aud spit me out it'd We been
the same to this constitutional
lm, public. Blame me if I don't ha
satisfaction. III kill johnson, pols
'eS' his dog, and emigrate to some count
"r r where the rights of citizens are p
3 tected. fl don't you may bust
open
MI M pr;r,a rot ON his crrt