The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-06-29
One of the Latest and Most Useful or the
Applications of Electricity

Every inhabitant of the Fifteenth
Ward, says the New York Sun, knows
that no other district of the city nd
abounds in cats, Every dealer IN crock
cry and every manufacturer of boot
jacks knows that from the Fifteenth
Ward comes tho largest and steadiest
! demand Tor his wares. In the street
where Mr.. Magutfin lives the cats have
lately appeared in great numbers, aid
fought with fervor that has spread
dismay among the boarders. They
would cvngreeate on the iron fence in
/ front of the house and skii'mish from
sunset until break of day. On Friday
evening Mr.. Maguffn took home mys-
FERROUS package which he carefully de-
posted in his own apartment After
dinner he invited all the boarders to his
room. On 4 table was a ctrious-look-
ing machine, and from it ran two wires
whose ends we're attached 10 the iron
fence. ftaeH RI Ma 81
at has occurred to me, nsaid Mr..
Maguflin, "that however advantageous,
to the merchants who te..l in those ar
ticls5, the present habit of shying
water pitchers and bootjacks at cats
may be, the practice is expensive to us
and unsatisfactory in its results. The
very energy impaired to the propulsion
of these improvised projectiles impairs
the accuracy of our aimi and when we
consider the soonness of the cat in
changing position you will readily be-
live the statement that l have known
Seventy-three pitchers and eighteen
bootjacks to be cast at one cat without
effect, aXcept on the pitchers and boot
Jacks. 1t has occurred to me that in
this age of progress such a method of
killisg eats is crude and wasteful, and
that the means for the destruction of
these animals should keep pace with
the many other improvements devised
for the amelioration OF mankind. l
have therefore provided, as you see, an
electrical battery, which is connected
with the cats promenade, and
Mr.. Magruder Sitting by the-win-
do)-Here comes a black cat walking
on the fence.
Mr.. Magufin (adjusting the machine)
-Blacki Emblem of strength. Note
the black bear; the black snake; the
Morgan horse; and other animals and
reptiles. The
Black cat on the fence-Meu-OW
weow-ow! oeow-ou-ow! (Mr. Ma
gufin turns on the machine.) Oo-ow!
pz-zpit! (Aiaguffin turns on more
power.) Wow-raeow-ow-qu awk-quaw!
(thud). H-.-..
Magruder-By jimmy! he's a goner!
He's dropped on the ground!
Aaguffin-Thus we see illustrated one
of the beneficial results of modern
science. Little did the great inventor
of the telegraph think, when struggling
for the building of his first line, that the
time would come when this mighty and,
as yet, comparatively unknown power
would be utilized for many other pur-
poses than the transmission of intelli-
gence. We may yet see condensed
lightning put up in packages convenient
for handling and shipment, on sale in
every
Magruder-Here comes a white cat
walking on the fence. -.,-. ..r-r
Maguffin-White, beautiful white
Emblem of purity, badge of justice,
color of sheets, paper collars, and va
nilla ice-cream. | hate to take the life
o. white cat, but
White Cat-Br-eow-ow-aeow-aeow-
HOO-oO-ziti zit (Mr. Alagufhn-"B
when they howl like that, pity takes a
back seat! Turns on the machine with
great force.) Wooroo! .wooroo! cow
ow! (More lightning.) Bz-z-zt! guawk!
quaw-uck! (thud).
Magruder (excitedly)-Got 'em
again, by gravy! 81
And SO the brave work went on, cats
coping from all directions, as ever
bowling, and walking unsuspectingly
on the top of the iron fence, a path
once strewn with roses, but now brist-
ling with the briers of death. Mr.. Ma
gufin turned steadily on the crank and
at short intervals for hours "thud,"
"thud," marked the fall of cats whose
serenading nights are over.
Yesterday morning, before breakfast,
the bOarders went out and gathered up
the cats and stacked them on the curb
stone, where they would be handy for
the ashman when the ash-carts came
along. Magruder called them off and
Maguflin made the inventory: -ET g
Black cats.......... seats brought forward, 70
White cat. ............ Maltese cats..........
Brown cats. .......... 4 elbow cats.
Tortoise shell Cat.... Zebra cats. 4
MOT classified. ........ 10
Cats carried forward III --a e.
Grand total of cats. A.