The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-04-26

Little stings ITO ada zest 20 the hss."
An empty pocket is no sign for an
empty head.
Hereafter wife beaters in California
will be punished by q public whipping.
To be patient and thorough in all that
| one does is to compel success in any call
ing.
Why is tugboat like chiropodist2
Because its business is to look after
tows.
What disagreeable person was it that
said the national tune Of America is the
spit-toon?
Sixteen centenarisns died in Massa-
chusetts last year, eleven Of whom were
born In Ireland.
You have lost your little hatchet,"
is the polite way of telling man what
he is, when he is one.
If you would pass for more than your
value, say little. It is easier to look
wise than to talk wise.
When q young man cannot live on his
salary, the usual way is for him to live
on the salary Of some one else.
The Pennsylvania Senate has passed
the bill forbidding the seizure for debt
of goods exhibited at the Centennial.
There is economy in travelling on the
fast mail trains. You make what you
eat 60 o great deal further in given
length Of time.
Says All editor: "Who drinks all the
whisky made in the United States Is
what staggers u.s." It is enough to stag
ger anybody.
New Orleans has received 1,204, ,542
bales Of cotton Of the present crop, an
increase Of 800, ,31S bales over the receipts
for the same time last year.
The Centennial Guards of New Or
leans voted unanimously to visit the
Centennial at Philadelphia, and ap-
pointed committee of arrangements,
The Forsyth (Ga.) Advertiser thns
philosophers: "The soil is the farmers
bank, says an agricultural writer. Oh,
If more people would break that bank.
A woman of Omaha, one hundred
years Of age, has had her grave clothes
on hand for fifteen years, and has had
them washed and ironed once each year.
"Meet me by gaslight Alone" said
swain beneath the window of his lady
love. "Now you get ont; ] amt no
gas meeter," replied the gentle crea-
ture.
First boy."I say, Jimmy, there's no
boy -" Bully Maybe we won't haveto
wash ourselves till the middle Of
spring!"
Lucern cannot be grown in profitable
competition with clover, where clover
adapted for dry climates, where clover
will nof Aouviah F--ts
Breathes there man With soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
1 will family paper take,
Both for my own and children's sake7.
If such there be let him repent
And have this paper to him sent.
I desire, says an author, tc put meth
ing into these papers which may nnislead
nothing foreign to the spirit Of the
boy who said he had no copybook
which, dying, he was sorry he had blot
ted.
John Quincy Adams made one entry
in his diary which viii be indorsed by
every amateur Granger: "I make two
remarks-one, that theself- planted trees
thrive most vigorously; the other, that
the plants which most cherish are the
most apt to disappoint me and die.
-
Old lady (holding very small cab-
bage)-" What Ten cents for such
small cabbage neysr heard of szIch
thing" Polite grccer's clerk" Yes,
ma'am /; but it's because Of the tOenten-
nial ma am. There's so many furrinera
q comm that smoke, cabbages Is rix.
A man living near the fork of two
roads in Hollis, N. H., has been called
out of bed two hundred and flfty-six
times to tell travellers which Of the two
roads 10 take, and he ig seriously con-
templating the putting mp . lantern
close to the guide board. It will cost
something, il is true, but he is longing
for nights sleep.
A Virginia railroad was made TO pay
$25 for killing valuable rooster. The
engineer said he blew the whistle as
kindly as possible but when the rooster
dropped one wing ON the ground, raised
his eye heavsnward and commenced
whetting his spur on the rail, forbearance
ceased to be viItue, and he let drive
into him with thirteen cars.
In Great Britain there are z10, 900 men
employ ed in the GOAL mines below the
ground, and LOG. coo engaged above the
ground. The coal mined eArh year
amounts to 12s, 500, 900 tons On an
average one Thousand men are killed
every year and four thousand are wound.
ed. In the last half century &c. 600 men
have been killed in the mince and srme
200, 900 were wounded