davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

Why is it that a woman cannot
sharpen lead pencilG We give it
up. The fact is patent that she can.
not. The ragged, jagged edgslof a
pencil sharpened by one Of the sex
Is something wonderful 70 contem-
plate? 1t looks as if a crazy wood.
peeker had sharpened his teeth on it,
or a mouse in the last pangs Of hung
er had essayed to chew 1t !; the lRrg-
est part Of the lead is at the end and
the weakest at the base of the PEN
ell. The wood slopes away diagonal
", lopgitudinslly, and everlastingly,
and looks as if it had passed through
a conflict with a buzz saw. Now
let any sort of man be called on to
mend that pencil, he will deliberate
ly take out a knife, lean carelessly
against the nearest object, whistle
his favorite air, and with few long
strokes, reduce that hacked up nom
descript to q smooth, shapely, sym
metrical pencil, while the woman
who owns it looks on, and meekly
Acknowledges the superiority of the
masculine Intellect and penknife.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07


Two Coon Y ARMS ssSpeaking of
shooting ducks" says DR.. F., "puts
me in mind of the great storm that
occurred when l lived on the is
land. As you are all well aware,
our island was near Casco Bay an
awful storm arose, and was so fierce.
that it drove all the ducks in the.
bay into a pond, covering about an
acre, near my house. In fact, so.
many ducks crowded into that
pond that ! could not see drop of.
aSho,' says Smith, adidn't ye|
shoot any of emp
sSThat's what l was-coming to-
went into the house and got my
donble,barreled shotgun, and dis
charged both barrels right into the
midst of them, but to my astonish-I
ment, they all arose into the air.
leaving not solitary duck on the
pond"
. sGoodness gracious you don't
say so. Didn't you hev any shot in
yer gun, or what in thunder was
the troubIe?', i gsat
o'tWelI, / was coming to that"
said DIR. F. at astonished me at
first: but as soon as the ducks rose
few hundred yardsin the air and
commenced to separate q little,
ducks began to drop, and whether
you believe itaor not, i picked up
twenty nine barrels of ducks, and it
wasa poor season for ducks, too.
You see the ducks were wedged in
solid on the pond,a and when they
rose they carried the dead ones in
the air with them, and when they
separated down came the twenty
nine barrels Of dead ducks"
"Ob," says Smith, "rm not sur
prised at that at ali ; or of the big
lot of ducks yer bagge6 for it was
an awful storm. Remember it well,
doctor. l had at that. time a corn
barn full Of corn; on one side Of the
barn was an open window and on
the other side was,a knot-hole; and
during the storm the wind blew SO
fierce that it blew every ear of that
corn right through the knot-hoie, and
the hole being just the size Of the
cob only, the result was that it she'll
ed every ear, leaving the corn in the
barn, and the next morning I found
my orn barn half full Of shelled
corn and not a single cob. / had a
curiosity to know where the cobs
had gone to-, ] went to the rear of
the barn and followed the line of
those cobs eleven miles, and at dis
tanee Of about five miles a large,
frst-growth pine tree stood in the
track, and darn me if the wind hadn't
driv cobs into that ere tree from top
to bottom. Oh, doctor, that was an
awful storm. I" = ','e = ~
= "Yes," sighs The doctor, aawful."i
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

E1HHa III FELES AEKWE1sHz
Mr.. PIunkett was gentleman who knew the
the instear speees q the RIIkx ana SaX Y
But the world had used him roushsS eu~ -
To oSerhaniinT barrels with rusty iron
hook.
There are many ways Of winning wealth, as
every patriot Knows.
But tyoang man regard this mAzimD any
kfnd OF life on earth
May be dignined BY virtue and adorned by
Ho''ss' .,iald
And MT. Plunkett never stole a railroad ]
Nor dealt in crooked whisky, crooked for
tunes to retrieve;
Nor shared q plunderers profit his own for
tunes 20 enhance;
But must confess. In passing, that he never
But all the same a bit ef luck he lately tum-
l bled to: aa5 .a ~
When he came upon a treasure which bad
been swept down the stair
By maid whose head was hustered by a lit
" HF
Twas a single diamond earring, small, but
worth pretty gum;
And he slipped it In bis pocket with inten-
ton to be mum:
But a gent who saw the Circumstance, IN tones
with menace fraught,
Desired him to dfyvy-whlch was foreign TO
his fhoughk etd @
And at once my here's honesty became con-
And he deiieately hinted that the other was
cuEG.@ trf7E
And revealed that his design had been, as no
To retrIrn the Iittle level 70 its owner
right away.
When he rang the bell and did so, not forget
ting TO relate
A judicious exposition Of his imPeeunioua
estate,
And he found the grateful owner quite re-
spOnsive TO his need,
And walked of with the dollars very yirtu-
Gus indeed. - -
/ pray you not condemn this tale as naught
bat idle rhymes
TIN you hear my pretty moral, which is suit
ed to the times. -l
The honesty that pays is very beautiful and
While a atheft thati is dlscoyered) is in wretch
edly bad taste.
B
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07
:, s,;3 ,.,;3Is ! g,dtIo 4, { a55I,erv !,

n seton is not hsldto be adultery y
Islam law; it cannot, nevertheless,
be compuIsorys and the female
slave, if i'll treated, may claim to be
sold out of the family. This often
happens from the jealousy of her mis-
tress (the legal wife of her master),
and cases have occurerd where the
life of the female slave has been
forfeited from such cause. Few
Mussulmans now have. more than
one wife 0egally), so as to prevent
jealousy and its results; and the fe-
male slaves of his harem are simply
servant maids in attendance on his
wife and daughters If it should
ever happen, and it no doubt often
does, that the wife poisons a female
slave, the police are left ignorant of
the fact, and the death is ascribed
to natural causes.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07
settlng miIk,


To say how, or in what kind of
pan to set milk, would perhaps be
assuming too much, but l soiU say,
without hesitation, that in nv opin-
ion, the poorest and most laborious
way to set milk is in the six-quart
pans SO commonly used. In our
dairy we use the Empire State"
pan, and have never seen any other
kind forwhieh we would be willing
to exchange. Under ordinary cir
eumstances thirtY-six hours is long
enough for the milk to stand before
skimming; in cold weather it may be
well to let it remain twelve hours
longer. 1t is not well to let cream
remain too long on milk exposed to
the air, simply to increase the quanti-
ty at the expense of the quality of
the butter, There should be consid.
erable milk skinned with thick
cream for churning. If you churn
very thick, stiff cream, the butter
will have a dull oily appearance,
while on the other hand, if you have
q considerable lIi milk with it, it viii
have blyaa clean, bright look. When
ere: cream is kept from one skimming to
another, add little salt each time.
and it should be well stirred as often
as new is added. 1t should not be
kept too long before churning, never
longer than a week, -four or Eve days
Is Better at any rate never after
acidity develops itself. Deep tin
pals are preferable for cream, as
they are convenient for tempering it
for churning : If the cream is too
cold it is easily brought to the right
temperature bysetting the pail in hot
water, stirring continually, until the
thermometer indicates so degrees,
or If it is too warm put the pail in
ice water, and cool it TO Sc or SO de-
gre es, according to the weather.
Mrs. E7ls4cortk's Prize Essay.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

ONLY A LITTLE OHE.AAnd now
it appears that man who wanted q
post-tra dership made a present to the
President of pair of Indian ponies
They were little ones, and very like
ly nothing will be done about It. In
like manner the watch given to Mrs
Grant by General Ingalls, signifed
nothing, because it was very small
watch. These things remind us Of
the scene between the mother Of
Midshipman Easy snde young wo-
man who applied fos the situation
of wetnurse, as described by Captain
Marryat: e.ss.a .5 s 81 ia
Pray, young woman, " said Mrs,
Easy, "what is your name ?"'sda a5a
HSarah, if you please, ms'an.n' . 81 :
"How long have you been mar.
ried p, - iaa, b35t...3 ~ NJ I, : :
.Married, na'am % .. br9 20 4 -
ssYes, married. " ssit5oi Is Ia
"If you please, ma'am, / had Z
misfortune, ina'am, !" replied the girl,
casting down her eyes. NV '75' ! - e
"What Have you not been mar
ried ?" ~
."No, ma'am not YET. y Z a. y a
! s"Good heavens issDr. Middleton,
what can you mean bEin 6ip his
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07
From the Boston Commercial Bulletin
The Centennial FIend.

1t was but half an hour before the
p tper, Went to press, but he walked
unerringly into the edit RS Office
and dropping his hat over the pla-
card of "Busy Day-Short Calls, -
seated himself with easy bar-room
politeness on the table with the ex-
changes. He was dressed with an
Ulster and soiled rufied shirt, he
wore an amethist about the size of a
hook glass on his third finger and a
cluster pin in his bosom. He took
seyen-for-a-quarter cigar from his
mouth and placing it on the editors
iukstand, remarked con6dentially:
81 am going to spend some time
this year. usz steAas
The editor clutched his pen like
a dagger, and paving after the few
hairs on the top of his head, said
AsIn Philadelphia
The young man spat gracefully
over his left shoulder on the new
carpet and responded:
Z eyes, Pve done a little. writin' in
my day, and bein' disengaged this
summer should like to send a first
class journal like yours"
The editor fell back in his chair,
and gasped, ''some letters apout the
Centennial.
The interviewer nodded and kick
ed his no ll's pensively against the
veneered panels of the desk.
"Would you like to be packed in
ice until your friends call for your"
Said the editor, gloomily, cor shall
we forward your remains in an air
tight casket p
Then gazing sorrowfuliy at the
young man ne put his mouth to the
speaking tube and asked:
"Are any of the pressmep at
hand ?'
Promptly waited through the tin
tube came the reply
aRed Mike and Big Dan, Sir"
The would be correspondent start
ed up aghast, put bis hat on, wrong
side front, and buttoned the third
button OF his coat into the second
button-hole; but the newspaper
man, taking no more notice of him
than he would of a dead-head adver-
tisement, breathed through the
tube
"Give 'em quarter apiece and let
them come here. Tell them there is
another of those Philadelphia Cen
tennial fellows here, and then pull
in a district telegraph boy and send
for a hearse."
Before the last words were in the
speaking tube the tails of an
Ulster coat sailed out of the private
Office, and a nervous young man, af-
ter trying the door of-the coat room
and diving into the coal closet,
reached the counting room door,
looked over his shoulder at two
brawny Milesians who had just de-
seended from some upper region,
missed his footing for a dozen steps,
accented his descent with heavy
bump on the first landing, and reach
ed the street as the editor wrote the
last word of an article on "the
business outlook" and calmly
sent 1T whirring up in the box
to the composing room.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07
LEGAL.
Notice of Filing Petition.

u AUL I'D IN lI1lLALGA4 WHOSE
q place Of residence Is unknown, win take
notice that EdWin T. Harmon OF the County
of AshtabUla in the State of Ohio, did on the
2ith day OF March. A ID. lSz6, hle his petition
in the Court Of Common Pleas, within and
for the County Of Ashtabula in the State of
Ohio, against the said James Inerarfty and
Edward H. Fitch, defendents, setting forth
that the said plaintiff made psr0l contract
with said defendent, James Inerarity, to build
and construct for him a dwelling house, on
lot four % Of Hubbards plot in the township
that said plaintiff under and BY virtue OF said
contract, and in accordance with its terms,
did construct said dwelling house, and in all
respects did folly perform said contract upon
his part; That said Inerarity failed to paw
said plaintiff, and that in accordance with
the terms Of the statute in such cases made
and provided, the said pPn, Edwin 7. Harmon
made an attested account OF the materials
furnished and labor performed in the con-
struction of said dwelling house, and did
make ar1davit thereto, and did Within four
months file the same in the Office Of the Re
eorder OF said county and did then and there
oy obtain perfect and valid lien upon said
dwelling house and said lot, four t4) of Hub
oard's plot, the lot upon which said dwelling
house is situate, from the I'D day Of October,
A. D. 1874. That said lien is now in full force
ana eHect unpaid and unSatisfled; that there
Is now due and remaining unpaid on said ac
count to the plaintiff from the said defendent
James Inerarity, the Just and full sum Of 500,
which ne claims with interest thereon from
the I'D day of October, A ID. 1874: that said
defendent, Edward H. Fitch is the owner OF
the legal Title OF Stlu lOJ a. HuDbarQiS
plot, and that said James Inerarity has a
contract for the purchase of the same: that
there is due on the purchase price Of said
land to the said Edward r. Fitch frOm the
said James Inerarity, the sum OF SIs6O2 with
interest thereon, at the rate of eight Isl per
cent. per annum, from July 10Th, 1874 The
prayer of said petition is that the amount
due to the plaintiff and said Fitch from the
said James IneFarity, may be found by the
Court the priorities Of lien determined and
that said lot four "A, } Hubbard's plot, may by
the Court be ordered to be sold and the pro-
ceeds applied to the payment of the amo lnts
so found due to the said Fitch and this plain
other and further relief as equity may re-
quire; and the said James Inerarity is here
by notified that he is required to appear and
answer said petition, on or before the Third
(S) Saturday, after the 18th day of April A. ID.
1876. EDWIN 7. HARMON.
By Edward II. Fitch, his Atty. 6tlS6S
Dated March 24th, 1876
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07
NOticefor DiUOrce

HILAs r. KENDALL, of Gales
burg in the county of Kalamazoo, and State
of Michigan, is notified that Sally S. Kendall
did, on the 24th day of February, A ID. 1876,
file her petition in the Office of the Clerk ofthe
County of Ashtabula and State of o. charging
the said Hilas r. Kendall with adultery with
one Lorinda Thompson. and also with extreme
cruelty toward the said Sally S. Kendall, and
asking that she may be divorced from the said
Hilas K. Kendall, and also for reasonable alim-
ony; which petition will stand for hearing at
the present term of said Court, or at the next
term thereof. SALLY s. KENDALL.
6tl365 By SHERMAN & LEE, her Att'ys.
Dated this 26th day of FEBRUARY, A. d. 1876.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

uses and every family should have them on .haril
for their protection and relief, when required
- ma a, Sst ~ Al ~ s lts 3 w n ne ,bIcs Ss
ne market aboundg. By their occasional use
the blood is purified the c0rruptions Of sae sys,
I'm expelled, ohst[a@stsons GO removed and tie
activity. Internal organs which become elogged
and sl1ggish are clesnsed BY zBss,e PsEEs, and
stimulated into actlon. Thus fneipient disease
When reckoned on the vast mult titudes who enjoy
- can hardly be computed. Their sugar coaflng
makes them pleasantto take and pFeserfee their
that fhey ar6 ever fesh, and peFfeeflY relisnie
AlthouGh searching, they are mid, and operate
ltoout turbance TO The consitptioH, or Diet on
EFl directions are given on the wrapper 70
each box, how 70 use them as & Family FhysiO,
% Tor ne following complaints, which these
Tor QyslePaaa or KndEEsssIoa, I6ssIes..
9esys sllRgu9P And Lees af ATletife, they
eeould he taken moderetely 70 hiate the Etoni,
For ~ T11@s - VI sg1s md aelon.
tolas, s1llesl9 AAee9ach8s Sick NE6ai-
nSAqt > aHne4ee or GtEeaD Glclmoaa, Ri1s
tsee .Se.Ae ana 8lltaua NeEaE1s thsy should
Re 91clelsiy taken for each caae, to correct ths
elsesssa action or remoFs The ohstrEctions Ehick
ggE. 1lysesseEy Or nla.zhnaS but sns
1nf Asllausaegtfz.S &Du1, Gravel, RaI.
R.tatton pf che Heart, Fail a sRe
80 9lA1 ana Ire7ulB, they should be contin-
uousiy sakens as required, to change the diseased
action Of the system. With such change thoss
complaints disappear.
tor DFoPsy and Dr0psfcal 6weIIfnsrs.
Icy s1onid Be taken tn large and frequent doses
% produce the eject Of drastic purge.
t0f ogRBPeAea0G, large dose should be
!., saksn, - It produces the desired enect BY sym.
Aie Dinner PiH, tale one or two P,7s "a
prelnofe digestive md relieve fhs Btoueeh. N "a
An occaslonal do3e stimulates the stomach and
bowels restores the appetite, and inviRorates the
system. Hence II y often advantageous where
toierably well, oftel finds that dose Of these
rue gasse him feel decidedly better, irom their
cleansing and ronovatirg eject on the digestive
PREPARED BIZ
Dad, o.AKEB q CO., PraetseaI ClensSstss
3 LOWELL, MASS, US. 4.
FoR SALE nv 1rx. .nRrtnnrsru zvrpvvvzr1v
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07


ME000oFFERKDF FOR ANYCFRTIFICATE
WOOOUWe publish which is not genuine
The following needs no comment:
CLEyELAEp. o. Dec. 8. 1s74.-DeaT Sir, Ny wife
has been afnleted with eatarrh for thirty years.
have had her:use all remedies that were adEertis-
ed. and spents great deal or money with, physi
clans, and all to no purpose. never found sny-
hing to do one particle OF good until she used
B0WEE'S CATARRH CURE. Anything that
viii cure her viii cure anybody 1 have perfect
aith In its merit, and cbesrfnlly recommend It.
Very truly, A. W. BLANN,
A62 Euclie Avenue.
This preparation viii cure Cstarrh in tWpnty
days. Hay fever in three days. Cold in the head
"a ten hours. Sore throat in three days. Pain in
ne headis relieyed-the offensive breath Is cor
ected and the sense of smell and taste are restor-
ei amer few APPLICATIONS Sold by dealers in
medicines at 81. 1y1S4O
msa sTRoNG. COBB, q co.. Sole Agents.
11s ia Superior St, Cleveland, o.
GEO. WILLARD, Ag't at Ashtabula, o.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

person here ?" exclaimed Mrs. Easy
stNot a married woman and she has
child" ~
"If you please, ma'am,s interrupt
ed the young woman, dropping a
curssey, sit was a very little one. y
"a very little one p exclaimed
Mrs. Easy. 1a
eyes, ma'aEn, very small, indeed.
Perhaps Mr.. Belknap will plead
in his defense that in selling post.
traderships it was a very small 'busi-
ness that he was engaged in; ;though
it seems to have paid him a very
handsome sum in the aggregate.
SAVE DAT PocKETBooK.-A negro
planter came up to Vicksburg the
ether day, sold his cotton, put bis
money in his pocketbook and start
ed down tie river. Leaning too fan
over the guards as the boat backed
out, he fell overheard. His porte
monnaie, which was in his side pock-
ct, tioated out and rode with his hat
on the surface of the water, willie
the current carried the negro away.
The yswl was lowered and assistance
at once started toward the drowning
man, who, perceiving his treasure
floating of, raised his voice and
shouted - at a5i' e @
"Save dat pocketbook ?"
His head Went under and he disap-
peared. As he rose up again be
gasped +: oa
"Dar's $lls in dat pocketbook %
Scarcely bad he uttered the words
before he sank a second time.
The yawl came within reach just
in time to rescue the drowning Af-
rican as he came to the surface for
the last time. As soon as the water
was wiped from his nose and mouth
SO that he could see and sDeaki q
'sDid-did you save dat pocket
book ?" SIS h
sNo ~ was the response.
"Well, den," said the negro regret
fully, "what de debbil was de use
oh sain' me ?''- VickSbatrg Herald.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07
Ayers Cathartic Pills,

2 For the relief and
cure Of al derange-
ments IN the stom,
sch, liver, and bow
els. They are amid
aperient, and an
excellent purgatiVe.
BEING purely vege,
table, they contain
nomarcury oFmine-
H whatever. Much
serious sickness and
suffering is prevent-
- A-f L-r-
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

fiction, but hears every. weight of
authority. DIR. Swift states that
he called the venerable Bishop on
his part as knight-errant 10. this
modern Dolorida, he replied that he
had done right, adding With warmth
that eff it were TO do over again,
l should act in precisely the same
way. God meant them toI come
together. Hapers' Magazine. E
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

Is adapted to the tough muscles, cords and
hesh OF horses and animals. It has perform
more wonderful cures Of SPAWN, Strain,
Wind-gaIis, Scratches, Sweeney and general
lameness than any other remedies in exist
enee Read what the great Expressmen say
OF it: .------.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1876-04-07

mo J" was the response.
"Well, den," said the negro regret
fully, "what de debbil was de use
oh sain' me ?''- VickS6atrg Herald.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1876-05-13

developed yet. Gold and other pre-
cious metals have also been discovered
lately within forty or fifty miles fiom
here and the parties prospecting the
same are now perfecting their claim
and having their bonanza assayei.
The Southern Pacific Railroad will
finish their line between here and San
Francisco BY next July or August and
the same company is pushing the other
end towards the Colorado with unpre-
cedented energy, running their trains
now to Seven Palms, distance of one
hundred and seven miles from here,
and we are already beginning to reap
a part of the commerce from Arizona.
l am afraid of wearying you by my
lengthy harangue. If you consider it
worthy place in your paper you may
publish it or part of it for the benefit
Of my numerous friends. Fit is, as l
fear, without any merit, consign it to
the waste basket and oblivion. IF ac-
ceptable, you may hear from me again
in the near future. Kindest regards
to all erquiring friends. The CHRoN-
IcLE appears now more regularly and
is always welcome visitor.
Your devoted friend,
L. STRAUs.
Los Angeles, April 26, 1876.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1876-05-13
A Wonderful Story Of Twins.

The Blue Ridge IN. CO. Blade says:
1.-The wife of Mr.. Joseph Wiserlhunt,
of Burt county, gave birth to twins
the last night of the old year-one was
born ten minutes before IL o'clock
and the other ten minutes after Il.
So one was born on Friday and the
other on Saturday, one in 1875 and the
other in 1876. Their birth day is not
the same yet they are twins. We
doubt if such a thing ever occurred
before in the history of the world.
Another notable circumstance is that
one was boy the other girl; and the
boy was born in the old year and the
girl in this-leap year. IF the boy
should prove gifted writer and amuse
the reading world with a story after
the style of Tristan Shandy, the
opening chapter would be peculiarly
interesting"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1876-05-13
The NeMspaner Itch.

The State journal, Columbus, Ohio,
has this to say about the mania for
getting into the newspaper business
Nearly every considerable town in
the country has had its period of news
paper itch, corresponding with the
measles and whooping cough in chill
dren, and has found out after an ex-
perieuce that has been somewhat cost
ly to individuals, if not to the general
public, that enough of a thing is
enough. Most Ohio towns have got
ten over this sophomore malady,
few have entirely escaped it, for if
there is one thing above another that
nearly everybody thinks himself quail
ified for, but which very few are really
competent to perform, it is the ardu-
Gus and multifarious labor of editing
a newspaper. Consequently scores of
men have rushed into the business who
knew no more about it than a goose
does of Sanscrit, and there has been a
multiplicity of starveling journals call
ing themselves newspapers which
were in reality nothing but the exper-
iments of infatuated amateurs.