National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1876-11-30

CVRiosfTY sHoP.

Tom Collins Is heard from at last. he
has been elected an alderman In Buffalo.
TIE constellation of Taurus was in the
ascendency at the birth Of Louisiana Dsnoc-
racy Hence this bulldozing.
From London Psnck.: medical Ad-
Yiser-Now, first OF all, you must not drink
beer in the morning.. Patient-No more
should, old fellow, but IT so happens there's
not drop of brandy in the house |"
An old gentleman, whose nose was
not only very large, but very highly colored,
was asked by George " how much It had
taken to paint 1t. "Sire," was his rcplyyEI
cannot tell, for IL is not finished yet."
"A minister travelling through the West
years ago asked an old lady on whom he had
called what she thought of the doctrine of
total deprayity. "0hp she replied, 81 think
tt rs good doctrine, If the people would only
act up to it."
"A Berlin machinist has invented q
steam velocipede, the boiler Of which is heated
by means of petroleum lamp, so that to the
other dangers Of fooling with that vehicle are
row to De added these arising from combustion
and explosion.
"A successful way to gag turkeys these
dark nights is to pus patent clothes pins on
their wind Pipes. An asle-bodied nam can lug
OF three or four in this Way unless his legs get
entangled in q steel-trap, or shot gun goes
of and fills his Back full of buck. Shot,
The first step toward making man of
Jour son is to train him to- earn what he
spends; then the best way to teach him to be
frugal Is to take srsy his morsy as fast IS he
eszr.s IL and spend &c wisely for yourself.
There is nothing like teaching shs' youngby
example.
AZ Chinaman voted In San Francisco
the late election; that was omsaous. Ten
days AFTER Chinamar married a white girl
"A Mis- Fannie Waters, from tho State of
Maine. California's hair stands on-end, and
the gentle hoodlums ask ssch other eclemnly,
"What neStf
1t is related of Mr.. Webster that he
was once seeosted by bsekwoodsma-, who
asked: sis this Mr.. Webstsr" "Yes, ,sir.".
''The great Mr.. Webster, of Massachusetts, |"
ST am that came Mr. Webster, of Massashu<
setts." swell, sir, heard That you werea
great man." q,toth the stranger, "but doa's
think so; heard your speech, 2nd understood
every word YOU said"
Henry Chspfny man of wealth, men,
Der Of Parliament, and owner Of the horse
Hermit, who won the Derby in 1851, was Tilted,
ialmoss at the church door by Lady Florence
Psget, who ran away and married tie Marquis
OF Hastings. Now Mr.. Chaplin, at shirty-six,
has just been married 10 another Florence,
thirteen years younger than the fret, and the
eldest daughter of the Duke of Sutherland.
The Boston Psss Dem } has. kept q
rooster at the head Of its political column
ever since the first announcement of Tilden's
election. The Boston Acfrertiser thus ad-
dresses itself to the Bird
ThsreosteJ is useful Ira when fxed2rpena
ysne,
1t tells the way tbs wind blow, and turas and
turns again;
But the rooster is 8 vain b,1d.whase services are
lost
When rigidIy It's PIT in placss ard fastenetsora
Pest.
The English practice ofpublishing ab-
stracts of the wills of distinguished psrsons
leads to curious and interesting revelations
Thus It appears that the Personality of one Of
EDglands most eminent judges, Mr.. Justice
Archibald, was lately sworn under e. 600,
while that Of u. B. Sampseu3sthe disgraced
money editor Of the Times, figured up no less
than e6JOOG. This means, practically, that
he died worth at least halfs million OF :
dollars, and it needs no very sirswd guessing,
as to how the amount was accCMulsted.
-SceDe-Lord Dufferin travelling in
ireland in jaunting-car With an emerald
person ignorant of his passenger personality.
Not to be unsoeiable, the future Governor
General asked Paddy what news he had TO tell
of the neighborhOOd. GAS for news, yer
Honor" replied the unsuspecting' driver,
"shure, know no hews that would interest q
gintleman loike yerself, unless It be that one
eyed Dufferin is going to marry Bate Hamil-
ton." Though the Governor inwartlly enjoyed
the joke, he was gracious enough to deny him.
self the privilege of seeing the state of con-
sternation the laxative driver fell into when
he found that the ''one-eye1 Bufferfa" he had
spoken so Familiarity of and his passenger were
one and the same person.