The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1876-12-16
BUBBLES.

"A peanut dealer says his business is at
a standstill.
"The solid North " is what stops the
Arctic expeditions.
"A Detroit man who died miserable
death in a garnet the other day, declared
that his first downward step was acting as
judge at baby show.
Letting well alone.-"Oh, Mary, the
wells got broke, and we can't get no water;
and oh, hain't it prime! Feyther says as
praps we shan't ave to wash for fort
night"
-" You must have lived here a long
time said travelling Englishman to an
Oregon pioneer. 'Yes, sir, 1 have. Do
you see that mountain? Well, when |
came here that mountain was hole in the
ground"
"A physician wrote a prescription, and,
as the patient went out of the room, said
to him: 81 wish you would let me know
if that does you any good for have my
self been very much troubled with rheuma-
tism lately"
-" Why, Ichabod, l thought you got
married more'n year ago?" "Well,
Aunt Jerusha, it was talked of, but found
out that the girl and all her folks were
opposed to it, and SO l jest give 'em all the
mitten and let the thing drop"
Here is another case of retributive JUS
tice: A clergyman in neighboring town
married runaway couple, both under age,
and the same night he was overtaken by
donation party, and had nothing in the
house to eat next day save beans and
potatoes.
William Black tells of sailor who,
coming on deck in the English Channel on
voyage home from the Mediterranean and
finding himself surrounded with driving
sleet and fog and east winds, remarked:
"Ha, this is weather as is weather; none
O. your hanged blue skies"
The Rev. Sydney Smith once, on enter
ing a drawing room i'll a fashionable man
sion, found it lined with mirrors on all
sides. Finding himself reflected in every
direction, he said that he " supposed he
was at meeting of the clergy, and there
seemed to be very respectable attend
ance."
Unhappy marriages are the result of
fashionable courtship now a-days 1t only
takes four weeks for young couple to
months afterward they find out that neither
of 'em is worth a cent, and the result is
When lovely woman weds Teller,
Who amt got money, why, of course,
What can lawyer do but tell her
To bring an action for divorce?
-" My son." said father to his hopeful
son, ''you did not saw any wood for the
kitchen stove yesterday as l told you to,
you left the back gate open and let the COW
get out, you cut off eighteen feet from the
clothes line to make a lasso, you stoned
Mr.. Robinson's pet dog and famed it, you
put hard shell turtle in the hired girls
bed, you tied strange dog to Mr.. Jacob
sons door bell, and painted red and green
stripes on the legs of old Mrs. Polaby's
kite pony, and hung your sisters hustle
out of tile ffIont ~: window. Now, what am
|, what can do to you for such conduct? ?"
" Are all the counties heard from ?'' asked
the candidate. The father replied sternly,
No trifing, sir; no, | have several re-
ports to receive from others of the neigh
bors." Then" replied the boy, "you
will not be justified in proceeding to ex-
treme measures until the official count is
in" Shortly afterward the election was
thrown into the house, and before half the
votes were canvassed it was evident from
the peculiar information of the applause that
the boy was badly beaten.