, 1876-10-22
BREVITlES.

Rome Sentinel: A good Roman matron was
delighted on Sunday because her husband looked
SO serious during the sermon, but as his convic-
tions turned out to be nothing but symptoms Of
cholera morbus, she was obliged to forego the
pleasure OF reading tracts to him, and to content
herself with building fire and making mus
tard poultice.
In time Of great political excitement when
Johnnie's Republican father often spoke against
the politics Of his little cousin Benuic's Demo
cratic father, the former was one night in doubt
about the propriety Of praying for the latter,
but at last he determined to keep his little
friend In his prayer, and closed by saying, It and
bless Cousin Dennie, il his father is Demo-
crat!''
"Well, uncle, how is the cause Of religion
getting on in your neighborhood:" Mighty
Sot singie one.notde e sign moi eo' one What
seems to be the mattera" asked the citizen,
after lengthy pause. 'sDe matter is dat some
one hcz stolen four big watermelons out o. my
cart dis afternoon, an feel in my bones dat re-
1igion is gwne down hill all froo dis locality ~
During thunderstorm a gentleman takes a
hack down the Champs Elysecs toward the Fau-
bourg St. Geru,ain, He notices that at every
flash Of lightning his driver piously makes the
sign of the cross, and says: II observe that you
cross yourself. You do we'll" 'sOh, yes. It is
always well where there are so many trees, but
once we get into the streets, I don't give q
curse. e.''-I'a'is Figaro.
"How do you like your new minister, Madge, :"
asked one very stylishly dressed young lady Of
another, in Highland car the other day. ''Oh,
he is just splendid - she replied with animation
Il You ought to see him, Maud. He is so hand
some and he prays So beautifully and reads the
there was dreadful scandal about him in the
place where he preached before lie came here"
Some years ago minister was called in to see
d man who WAS very i'll. After finishing his visit,
as he was ]eaving the house, he said to the
mans wife, my good 90, woman, 40 you not 60
to any nur a % heD y5 M We re sang g 1G
did you send for me; why didn't you send for
DR.. Macleods'' 'sNa, na, sir, deed no: We wad-
ma risk him: DO &c no ken it's dangerous case
o. typhus!"
The New York Times is not easily perplexed;
but 1t is embarrassed BY an obscirity IN one Of
the Rev. DR.. Talniage's scrulons. The great
lis arms aud legs "that ship once sailed from
Boston, on board of which were three mission
uries aud 2i090 gallons Of rum.' What the
Times can't fud out is, whether there Is too
much rum for the missionaries OF too much mis-
sionaries for the rum.
Mrs. Scroggins-Wcll, Betsey. and how be
you this day! Mrs. Jones-Bad, Martha-very
land! Mrs. Scroggins-Wel1, Bctsey. if it's
true, and yer must go, you'll sec my Emery up
there; tell i'm I keeps mang]e, and t. childer
is welt and -. Airs. Jones (pcevishly)-Nay,
nay, Martha, yer can't expect rs | can GO a
wanderin' aboot the clouds a-lookin' for your
Emery wi my bad leg !-Loadon Fun.
A worthy missionary clergyman from the
North found his co1ored brethren and sisters
quite forsct1ul of the moral law, and began to
give them series Of practical discourses against
lying aud stealing. The congregation stood it
tor Sunday or two, and then they rcyolted,
ono of the Dcacons being their spokesman, md
addressing their preacher thus: " We like you
berry much and want to make it comfortable for
YOU; but dc fac' is, you see, we don't like dis
preachin' about lyin' an stealin'-We mus hab
our QuuIoye for 3fiDinn ~