The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-12-08

WHAT TIE WITS SAY.

Chicago Inter- Ocsan:--" The Democratic
countenanee was exceedingly rosy the first
| day. It looks less floridy now"
The Haaokeye cries out in anguish:-"I
any man sends up any more bogus dis
patches from Florida ponce de leon rascaPs
| head.n --.-..... 49, .=-.. ..,.. ...4
A man in Green Bay, Wis, saved ayoung
lady from walking off bridge, and SO far
from being grateful for it, she married him.
-Rechester Democrat. zrlsz.5er al
The false alarm of fire on Columbia street
yesterday afternoon was caused by a young
lady with cardinal red stockings falling out
Of the back seat of an open wagon.-Hasok-
eye. & @' = 80 'aI
Key West, it is true, gave Tilden three
nae.i iex;eysA DuJ what s Gno guLe or Jne Wnole
State? That's the Key-West-ion.-Com-
mereiaz Adpertiser. Oh, it's conKey-
West for Hayes.-GraphSc.
The Paterson Press says "neither party
seems disposed to strike their colors yet. "
Whereupon the Herald exclaims at the
bad grammar. 1t ought to remember that
many persons are singular.-Graphsc.
Will tie Gear sit down on the Empiric
Ottoman p Chicago Journal Not sofa as
we have been able to ascertain.-St. Louis
Journal. Better offer three cheers for him
at once.--Phi1a. Bulletin. The thing he is
after is settle. ... .....-e ..r
It brings tears to the eyes of the plaster
paris images in the shop-windows to see
Charles Francis Adams sitting on salt
barrel, swaying back and forth and wiring
ing his hands as he walls, "Oh, wirra wir-
ra. Och hone, och hone!" -..-.
There is no cloud without silver lining.
The Democracy have triumphed, but the
peanut crop this year is estimated at 800, 600
bushels The election of Tilden will prob
ably increase these figures to 100000
Norristown Herald.
Charles Francis Adams has started to
Florida, and there is greater demand
along the Southern coast for ulster over
coats than was eyer known before. The
United States Signal Service predicts heavy
frosts and small snow areas. -i--~-.9
Henry Clay Dean looked down at his
shirt bosom, where tiny blade Of grass
was just struggling into life, and said
sadly, "We must have change" And
then he went and stood out in the rain for
couple Of minutes.-Haaokeye.
The Lock Haven Republican says that
"Prof. Louis, of Bethany College, can
speak twenty different languages. That's
convenient in some cases, but We'll bet a
new hat that his languages don't amount
to as much. as boot-jack when it comes
down to persuading midnight cats to yacate
the back yard.-Rey,so1ds Herald.
Young men who cannot get their feet
into any sort of fine boot that doesn't
discount an ulster overshoe for general
extension, should take courage. MIR. Ten
nyson, the man who writes rhymes, has
enormous feet and tremendous hands, and
when he goes out for walk he makes
tracks in the dust as though aswhole cow
had LAID down to rest at unnecessarily short
intervals.
DR.. Allen Thompson says the natives of
the Andaman Isles preserve portions of
their friends skeletons and wear them as
ornaments. "The skulls of their husbands
were actually worn upon the shoulders of
women" Women who have lost a pair Of
husbands believe in the old adage: "Two
skulls are better than one.' IF this custom
were to be introduced into Utah, and Brig
ham Yonng were to outlive sixteen Or
eighteen of his wives, he would have a
change of bones to wear twice day for
two weeks.-Norrsstoaoas Herald.
A correspondent desires to know what
sort of thing a spoeket gymnasium I" is
that he sees advertised in the papers. Well,
pocket gymnasium holds from pint to
quart, and is made of glass covered with.
leather; but we can't recommend it. We
once saw young man have one in good
working order, and after practicing with 1T
short time he found it much easier to
stand on his head than on his feet, and he
couldn't find his way home.-Norristoao
Herald.