The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-10-26
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
People who don't pay their taxes are
not allowed to vote in Georgia
--Murad was ex-Sultan so much that he
had to be taken off by Muradic acid.
It's hard to tell who are the liveliest
nowadays-the politicians or the milliners.
Nineteen States now have Fish Com
missioners, in addition to the United States
Fish Commission.
"A Montgomery (Ala.) paper shouts
the glad tidings that the white frosts have
nipped the yellow-fever buds.
The leaves begin to put on their gold
en- tint, but don't 60 into commissions over
it. Leaves always do this every fall.
Francis Power Cobb says one sympa-
thizing heart amid a crowd of enemies
makes itself felt and strengthens unspeak-
ably. s-.o
There is no man so poor and lowly
that some brave soul cannot be found to
step up and grasp him BY the hand--on
election day. , ~ ) - q
The name of Connecticut preacher
of prominence is Ripper, and they do say
that when he gets hold of q text some
things got to give.
1t seems to be the sentiment of New
York that married women do not make
good school, teachers, but they can't be
beaten making plum buildings.
-" Mafiat what's that strange noise at
the front gate?" q Cats, sir" '.Catsl
Well, when Twas young, cats didn't wear
stove-pipe hats and smoke CIGARS
Some folks do not understand the
chicken business, and it looks queer to see
apicture Of rooster, and underneath the
words: LET the eagle scream. "-Roch-
ester Chronicle.
The hat store man is the only one who
has a dead sure thing Of it in these times.
Whichever way it goes, these election hats
must be paid for by somebody.-N. Y.
Commercial Adoertiser.
The Philadelphia Chronicle says:
Happiness comes and goes like the flowers
OF spring, and a boy no sooner finds
where the preserve jar is hidden than his
mother totes it away to another corner.
"A party of 20 ung men dined sumptu-
ously at a restaurant, and each one insisted
on paying the bill. To decide the matter
it was proposed to blindfold the waiter,
and the first one he caught should pay the
bill. lie hasn't caught any of . them yet.
=" Nobody is allowed TO speak at
Queen Victoria's table except in reply to
her." This enables her guests to fill up
more rapidly, and is capital arrange
ment for hungry tramps.-No1ristol
Herald.
1t takes more grace and Christian
charity than can be crowded into one hu-
man heart, to enable woman to forgive q
man who calls at ten o clock in the morn.
ing, and comes stumbling around to the
side, door and finds it open and looks right
in and seSs the house upside down.
-In Algeria there ID river formed nv
the Junction Of two streams, one coming
from a region Of ferruginohs soil apd the
other draining peat swamp The acid
in the latter acting upon the iron in the
former, ferns true ink, and the river Is
actually stream Of good writing fluid. 4.
On floor in Danbury home lies a
little pile of sewing. Five months ago the
head of the house wanted chair, and see
ing but one handy he dumped to the floor
the sewing which lay on it His wife
wouldn't do It. She told him that as he
Sn1CW ~ UuCIc ~ Coulu 1CudlH uuGit Ae SoG
ready to take it up. She would. never
touch It.. And there it remains, inemor.
ial to individual spirit and united folly
Ddnbury News. .,. t,-E: .,: ,~....i4I' d,
The Cincinnati Commercial says: " A
farmer near Akron, who disliked to live
in vain, mortgaged his farm last year,
bought a balloon, and in due time heard
something collapse at the height of
mile. Luckily, the balloon formed par
achute, and he landed in q plowed field,
badly bumped, but not pulverized.s Prop
erly enough, he added Professor to
his name, and now he has second
mortgage on his farm and a new bal
loon. You can't keep a man like that
down." ,.. -..-..1~ --..
Cool weather is great appetizer, and
this is the season of the year when the
growing youth of fifteen, or Whereabouts,
gets up in the morning and clears the Ia
bles of edibles; comes In at ten O'Clock
and gets lunch; is on hand twenty min
utes before dinner time to make another
clearing; comes in for pie and some
cookies at three O'Clock; sits down with
the family to supper; spends the evening
eating peck or two of apples, and gets
ready for bed by going into the pantry and
drinking crock Of milk.-Chicaqo Esen-
~ Il sf Hssssts ssaib carpenter III sohss
four years ago, having gone ashore to fell
a few cedar trees on the Upper Uruguay,
in South America, was captured by the
natives and carried into the interior, re-
turned to Hamburg BY the Karnak q few
weeks ago, having effected his escape. he
reports that his two comrades, who stood
on their defense, were killed, and that he
was closely watched by the women of the
tribe, which comprised about go war.
riors, and subsisted on lizards, snakes, rats
and the like. He relates that German
woman, a native Of Cologne, has been for
fifteen years in the region where he was
held captive, lursuiRg sher studies as 1
naturalist, without being molested by the
natives.
Il Here is the sort of husband San
francisco girl adyertises for in I the
chronicle of that city: "a man with
good looks and plenty of money, gener-
Gus to afauh and easy to manage who
keeps his carriage. and will give his wife
another; who has q good time himself
and will let his wife 60 70 the matinee and
opera Without getting Jealous Of looking
cross; who will give her an open credit Ut
q first -eAass dry goods store, and ask no
3bolishe questions about what one does
ing merchant ~5gia d. ;sss soe e So
having . seat in the big board would be
preferred: would not be unreasonable;
in casd 6r fSIl6reSI Esabnld Dss Willing to
travel for A,tipe jpsE Europe, and, as mat
ter of Reasonable and prudent business
precaution, would have my husband put
first-class residence and all the valuable