Weekly Trinity journal., 1876-10-14
SPOS'N.

While Judge Copley was sitting in his
Office the other day, looking over some
law papers, the door opened and man
hobbled in on crutchcs Proceeding to u
chair and makiuga cushion of some news
papers, he sat down very gngorly, placed
Il bandagcd leg upon another chair, and
said:
"ludgc, my namo is Briggs, and
called in, Judge, to get your opinion
about little point of law. Mr.. Judge,
s'posin' you lived up the pike here halfa
milo, uoNt door ton man named johnson.
And s'posin' yon and johnson was to get
into an argument about tho human intol-
lect, and you was TO say to johnson that
n splendid Illustration of the superiority
of the human intellect was to be found
in the power OF the human eye to restrain
the lorocity OF avid animal. And s'pos-
i'm that Johnson was to remark that all
that was bosh because nobody could ho d
wild animal with the human eve and
you should declare that you could hold
tho savagest beast that was ever born il
you could once tx your gozo On him.
Won, then, s'posin' johnson was to
say he'd bet n hundred dollars no could
bring n tame animal that you couldn't
hold with your eye, and you was to tako
him upon it, and johnson WAS to ask you
to como down to his place and settle the
bet. You'd go, wc'll say, and johnson d
wander round to the bacl, of tho house
and pretty soon como front again with n
dog biggcr'n any iour decent dogs ought
to be. And thon s'posin' Johnson'd lot
go that dog and sick him on you, and he'd
come Mt you Hko sixtecn-inch shell out
OF u howtzer, and you d get skecry about
it and try to hold the dog with your ego
and couldn't. And s'posin' you'd sud-
denly conclude that maybe your kind of
an eye WASH t calculated to hold that kind
of a dog, and you'd conclude to break Gr
plum tree in order to have chance to
collect your thoughts and try to reflect
what sort Of an eye would be bcst calcu-
lated to molGly that sort Of II dog. lou
catch my idea, Of courao2"
Very wo,l, thon; s'po,in' you'd tako
your eye OH that dog, johnson, mind
you, all tho tmo scking him on and
laughing, aud you'd turn and leg it for
the troa and begin to swarm up as fast ms
you could. Woll, sir, sposin', just as
you got three feet from the ground, join.
sons dog was to grub you by the leg and
hold on liloa vice, shaking you until you
nourly 10 yourhold And spo.in' john
son was to stand there and holor, Fix
your eye ON him, Briggs Why don't
you manifest the power OF the human IN
tollcct p and SO on -gassing away with
ironicol remarks like those; and s'posin'
be kept that doRon that leg until he mado
you swonr TO pay that bet, and then ut
last he had topry tho dog Off with hot
pol,or, bringing nwny AZ the samo timo
half a pound Of your meat, in the dogs
/
on a stretcher and TO hre four doctors to
keep you from dying with :he locNaw."
S'posin' this, what | wunt to know Is,
couldn't you sue johnson for damages,
aud mako him pay hcavily for what that
dog did That's what want to get nj"
The Judge thought for Il minute, and
then said
Weu, Mr.. Briggs, ! don't think
could, If agrecd to lot johnson sot tho
dog Mt me, should be party to tho
transaction aud could not recover"
" Do you moan to say that the law
won't make that atinlcrnal scoundrcl john
son sudar for letting bis dog eat mo up ?"
"I think not, if you state the case pro-
pory.
"It won 7, hey q" exclaimed Briggs.
hystoricolly "Oh, very well ! very
well It's "a beautiful Government, this
isl Beautiful, ain'tit? ! -'poso it TINT
dog had chewol me all up and .pit mo
out, it'd hayo been all the same to this
constitutional republic. But blame me
il don't have satisfaction. III kill
johnson, poison his dog, and emigrato to
some country whore the rights OF citize 5
aro protected. If | don't, you may bust
me open :"
Then Mr. Briggs got on his crutches
and habbIel out. Ho is stilla citizen and
viii vote ol the next election.