The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-04-29
VARIETY.

dog fight is now facetiously styled an affair,
de cur.
Grace before meat-A handsome woman al
market.-LOI1eK Courier 49,
The saying that ' there is more pleasure in
giving than receiving is supposed to refer to
kicks, medicine and advice.
The Poughkeepsie Press tells of a woman
" so crOss-eyed that when she weeps, tears from
her left eye drop on her right check"
little boy told his father he was a fool. On
being reprimanded by his mother, and required
TO say he was sorry, he ran to the nsulted parent
and exclaimed Papa, me sorry you's fool -
An exchange says: '.In our obituary notice
of the late MIR. --, in yesterdays issue, for
the phrase he noble and pig-headed
man. read, he was noble and big-hearted
man."
There two words in the English language
that contain all the vowels in regular succession,
and il a person is willing to live abstemiousLy
and not regard this statement fdcetiously, he will
see what the words are.
As an evidence of the hard times it NAV be
mentioned that a young man in this State wrote
to every bank in Detroit, offering to be IS your
kasheer for $50 per month and board,'' and no
bank would give him place.-DetrOn Free
Press. -....s-
little six-year-old daughter of Methodist
minister committed a fault and denied it. Her
mother, learning she was guilty, asked her why
she told the untruth, when she replied with great
sang froid So L should not If l believed as YOU
and father do L am a Unversalst -
A strange ocean animal has, by force of natu-
raj selection and all that of thing, according
to the Darwinian theory, begun to eat the gutta
percha ON the submarine cable, having mistaken
it for baked clans.
"Amarilla. DO not bewail the fact that,
now that he has been Tilted, you do not know
how to spend your weary evenings. Try to sit up
with yourself till one or two O'Clock some night
and wonder if it was all his fault. 1..t frFs
Every science, every language. every litera-
ture, every business, says Michelet, 80 interested
Turgot." This is true also of woman lying on
her chin listening under the crack of door, and
Turgot had no monopoly.
Theological truth comes from strange sources
sometimes We have heard many a sermon and
read many dsquisition on Gods patience, but
the exclamation of poor little bootblack, 80 tell
you what if God was quick-tempered some folks
would get hurt brings it more wildly to our
minds than either books or sermons could
MIR. Moody insists that lazy Christian will
never get to heaven before the doors are shut,
and is, therefore, practically no better th,n a
publican or sinner. 1t is well enough to pray,
but the prayer must be the impulse to work.
COleridge says -
He
Both man beast;
He prayeth best who lOyeth best
All things both great and small
A little fve-year-old boy was being instructed
in morals by his grandmother. The old lady told
him that all such terms % by goly,'' sc by jim
GO - Z" by thunder, etc., were only minced oaths,
and but little better than any other profanity.
In fact, she said, he could tell profane oath by
the prefix SO by" All such were oaths. ''Well,
then. grandmother" said the little hopeful,
~ IN no - RxyT
graph The old lady gave it up, and the boy
is bewiIdered on morals.
.s You will be mine? urged a faithful and
substantial lover to a Philadelphia GIRL recently.
- oh, no, won't do any such thing she an
swered, archIy. - But why this change?'
me-" "Oh, yes, know | did, she replied,
~ but | didn,t think of the Centennial then, ard
the chauces there'l be to pick up foreign duke
or prince, or something )" And, as the disan-
pointed youth turned sadly away, you could see
by his face that there was, at least, one Phila-
delphia soul which had lost its enthusiasm for
the coming big show. Ir.sH T.a4r
1t is the easiest thing in the world to find
fault. Some men are born to grumble. If the
sun shines they shake their heads, and tell you
IL won't last long. If the winter is mild, tits
very unhealthy If it is severe, tits hard on the
poor If they are sick, it is just what they ex-
nected if they are well, they are surprised, but
never grateful Our little kitten came out of the
shadow the other day, and finding the only spot
on the floor that was sunny, Immediately lay
down there and began to purr. Go thou and do
likewise. .
An emigration agent accosted an old negro in
Columbus the other day: ''I say, old man,
don't you want to make some money? :. OATS
lest what I'm sarchin' roun' fer, boss. hon
9ry right now .s Well, in Mississippi, the
planters are paying mighty high prices for good
work hands, and if you" So Hole on dar,
boss. Jes' wait. I'm Middle Georgia niger.
II done been out dar. I'm good wuk hand, too
Il wuk myself out dar, an den / tun roun' an
@us myself back agin, an right here I'm gwine
ter stay, eff de Lord spars me. When l dies l
wants ter have q belly spang full o. bread an
meat, an wants ter be berried in seminary
whar I'm 'quainted wild de folks. You heered
NV horn "-SaUaHnah NelCs.