Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1876-08-25
A Silent Benefacto

Mr.. Cooley suffered good deal last
winter from rheumatism in his breast and
his wife was badly frightened about it
for fear it should end in consumption
Cooley could not be induced to try any
remedy for the trouble, and MIS- Cooley
was nearly worried to death about it,
At last she determined to try strategy
She made up dry mustard plaster, and
one night while he was asleep she sewed
it upon the inside of his undershirt, so
that it would just cover the rheumatic
place Cooley dressed himself in the
morning, wholly unsuspicious of the
presence of the plaster and went down
stairs. At the breakfast table, while he
Was talking to his wife, he suddenly
stopped, looked cross-eyed, and spasm
of pain passed over his face Then he
took up the thread of the conversation
again and went on. He was in the
midst of an explanation of the political
situation, when all at once he ceased
again, grew red in the face, and ex-
claimed
II wonder what in the No, it can't
be any thing wrong"
Mrs Cooley asked what was the mat
ter, and Cooley said:
ooh, it is that Internal old rhcuma-
tism again--comc back awful But
never felt it exactly the same way be-
fore Kinder stings me-" Mrs. Cooley
said she was sorry
Then Mr.. Cooley began again, and
was just showing her how the ravages
of the grasshopper in the West last sum
mer and the potato bug in the East
would effect the political result next fall
by making the people discontinued, and
so likely to strike at the party in power,
when he suddenly dropped the subject,
and, jumping up, said:
Thunder aud lightning, what's that
Ouch o Moses! | feels if | had a
shovel of hot Goals inside my shirt"
Must be that rheumatism, getting
worse" said Mrs. Cooley, sympathetic
ally.
"Oh, gracious, no! It's something
worse than rheumatism Feels like fire
burning into my skin. Ouch Ow-vow-
vow. It's awful | can't stand it
minute. | believe it's cholera, or some
thing, and I'm going to die"
do try to be calm, Mr. Cooley"
"Calm How can man be calm
with volcano boiling over under his
shirt. Get out of the way, quick while |
90 upstairs and undress. Murder-r-r-r-r
but it hurts. let me get out, quick .
Then he rushed up to the bedroom
and stripped off his clothes His chest
was the color Of boiled lobster but
he couldn't for the life of him tell what
was the matter. Then his eyes rested
upon something white on his shirt lie
picked up the garment and examined it.
Ten minutes later be came slowly down
stairs with a dry mustared- plaster in
his hand, while thunder clothed his
brow.
Going up to Mrs. Cooley, he shook
the plaster under her nose, and said in a
suppressed voice:
Did you put that thing in my
clothes p
81 did it for the best, John, sue said
81 thought"
ooh, never mind what you Thought,
you idiot Never mind what you
MougMl You've taken the skin clear
off my bosom, so that I'm as raw as u
sirlion steak, and I'll probably never be
well again as long as | live That lets
you out. You play any more tricks
like that on me, and I'll put you in the
coal-bin and keep You there till you
starye to death Now mind me-
Then he slammed the door and went
out. Mrs Cooley dosen't know to this
day exactly what effect the grasshoppers
are going to have on the fall elections.