, 1876-03-19
BREVITiES.

!..I bopo," eaid q seriors-looking gentleman
recently, +that tho angel who ferries SOULS
across the jordan has more than one boat IN his
service" His hearers looked upon him with
such evident surprise that he quickly added: &:
II hopo so, because it would be 80 unpleasant
for any OF the Plymouth brethren to cross over
at the same time with Dr.. Stor1s and Dr. Bud"
ineton."- Washington Chronicle
A recently overheard conversation: First
citjzen-" Who is this Eli that hes come to
town with q big lot Of singers to give concerts"
Second Citizen: Why, don't you know that
ELI was Bible character? it was he Who fed
the rayaps." Third citizen-"No, Elijah was
the man WHO fed the ravens" Neither claimed
acquaintance with the good prophet who VAS
fed by the eravens-SprinqfeId Republican.
4 lone wornan eat weeping at the fireslde OF
hor simple rustic home Oh tue banks OF the
muddy Ohio. Then hand rested gently upon
hor shoulder, and ! Find voice asked:
why these tea1s?"
She turned her large melancholy eyes upon
the questioner mud said, between her sobs:
=. Nv Johnnie's off to the Counsul, an they
do sav he's likely to cum back with rcglar
BROOKLYN polish onto his morals"
A co!ored expounder of the Scriptures recently
created quite furry among some Of the female
portion Of his congregation by suddenly branch
lug of in this way Nov, / want to say q
word to de sisters. When you has "ashln 70
do aouowhar, and you gets done, just you clean
nm and go right home, and don't stan round
lookin whar ycn can find little coffee, or lit
tle sugar, OF 4 little something else to put into
70 pockets. Go right home when you's done
wid dat w==hin."
Iu;o Eoy. DR.. I.o1imer, OF Boston. tells story
thas while in Kentucky no was invited to per.
form q marriage ceremony, sud rode u or II
| miles through mud and rain to unite the pair,
| At the conclusion Of the ceremony the mother
| Of tho bride offered Dr.. Lorlmcr filed wine.
glass, which he declined, and said: - You ought
| to be Ashamed Of yourself, Madame. for offering
| work their ruin" The woman. placing her arms
| a-ltrnbo, said: 'Look h'yar, Ir: Preacher, yo
| kim TO marry this gar couple. You've matEca
this yar couple. Now Rit."
Cincinnati Times: Bridget ia very devout
| Catholic, aud keeps her Friday fast with mu:t
| scrunulousuess. She has failing for sucking
raw eggs, however, which no amount OF discip-
line csn overcome. Yesterday, as the family
| we're gathering about the teartable, Q terrific
| scream IVES heard to Issue from the domestic
| quarters and tho mistress rushed in "Good
ness, gracious Bridget, what is the matter VIII
you3" "0ch, holy murther tn1n ]lss .',ee: nloke:
| m egg, quite by accident. mum, and SWALLOWED
it in hurry, mum. for fear av it's oeln' lost
An it had chicken in it mum An to-day
Friday mum. Och, arrone!"
| An enthusiastic old gentleman. we'll known a.
q travelling evangelist, wandered out into th'
nurlieus OF the city recently. and struck IN I'm
reRcnerated family who didn't seem to know
what prayer meant. There was tall, Eaug
| old lady and several children, and our evangel
| lat. horrified to find 50 much heathenism IN I
Christian community, invited them to join him
aud he could show them what prayer WAS, and
| dropping down on his knees, commenced al
earnest suppiication. ....
Now, there was an unregenerate dog in tha
family also. and before tho first sentence OF tn
PRAYER was completed, the fangs Of the canin'
| were fastened in that portion Of the old gentle
mans raiment which he sits down upon.
The family had remained standing and th
old lady, observing the dogs action shoute
ont: ... ,r,..
"Go on with the prayer, ole felleE. I'll at
tend to the dog! !"
And she seemed very much disappointed t.
think that the tod fellow" couldn't p1ay an
be bone for dog at the same time.