, 1876-02-13

| :" AID now there Is another term,
Subtraction you have yet to learn:
| Take four away from these.
YES. YES. that y hL. was r1ght; yonya made 1t OUT
| "SubtrAction don't NE pleass"
Division and multiplication are taught in the
| Hame pleasant way, aud the song ends with,
"And now We must leave off, my dear:
The other rules are not 10 clear
Wen try at them to Ia sht."
"1I come ut eve, my Henry sweet;
Behind the hawthorn hedge we'll meet;
for learning's my delight"
WHAT A WOMAN DID.
sha was an average woman. She waa in a
| market on Woodward avenue at hal{-past Il
o'clock and there were five men in there, also.
Sne wanted a bit Of beef, a pinch OF mutton,
soma dried beef sliced very thin,-in fact, she
wanted abut 20 cents worth of meat Each man
was client for ten minutes. Each one WAS i'm
patient for ten minutes more. Each one waited
exactly tTenty-ope minutes for that woman to
pick and select and find fault, and then each oce
etalked out to find some other shop. Five busi-
ness men lost l05 minutes, or Rn hour and three
Qoarters. while one woman, whose time WASN'T
worth a cent al hour, bought 20 cents worth Of
meat AS the men went out, the first said the
country was going to ruin. The SECOND said
he'd rather eat snow than lose any more time.
The third said he'd Lao to kill soma one. The
fourth said the butcher WAS D fool and lunaec.
Tue fifth fell down Us he went out, and he said
but never mind.--DelroA Fres Press.
TYNDAtL's INTENDED.
A brother Rayant (says the Brooklyn Argus)
recently rallied Prof. Tyndau upon the subject
OF his rumored engagement to daughter OF
Lord Hamilton. The great scientist didn't deny
the soft impeachment. Encouraged thereby, his
friend pursued the subject with the view Of dis
covering what special attraction could have con-
quered man who had go long resisted the fas-
cina.iona OF the se1. as she prettier than
other LADIES' you have seen {" be asked. "No." :"
siyateaf" mo" "Wbat. then. is her particu-
lar charm :" 'She has less dynamic force"
said the Professor.
FRIGHTENED HIM OFF.
He VAS on his knees to her. His face Tea
flushed, HIS eyes cleaned passionately iuto
hera, be talked rapidly: ''Nothing shall sepa-
rate us evermore, my darling. For your sake l
will beard the lion in his den! I will face death
On the battlefield! I will skim the eeasl
will endure all hardship, all suffering. all mis-
ery!" He paused and looked eagerly to her,
With bis whole sonl quiFerjng IN his eyes.
twill you do all this for the sake OF my love ?"
said She gazing earnestly into The burning eyes:
We wed.' continued she, flushing slightly. twill
yon get mp first aud build the dra2" With
shrek OF despair lie fed.-Danbury Netos.
MISCELLANEOUS NOTES.
Woman proposes, and man git8 up and gits,
this year.
When widow with children marries, abe be-
comes pa-taker at the wedding feast.
Il is thin excuse for young lady to lie abed
until o'clock in tie morning because this ia
sleep-year.
Nothing is go fatal to the romance Of kiss as
to have yonr girl sneeze at the very climax Of
ozculation.
Don't marry till you can support husband.
That's the advice the Bsrnstable Patriot gives
the Cape girls.
Marrisge," said an unfortunate husband.
t. is the churchyasd Of love" "And yon men,"
re piled his wife, ''are the grave-c1gsers."
Before bis marriage. Broushue praised the ar
tistie manner in which his wife Is banged" her
hair. Now he complains Of the cruel manuer IN
which she bangs his head.
Miss Anna Dickinson's new lecture is entitled
" Sowing and Reaping." And IN old bachelor
cruelty says that Sewing and Ripping would be a
more appropriate subject for women.
Tie most popular leap-year neckrie among the
Foung gentlemen is the one that is l0cased In q |
1eat dress-steeve. and will pass around Just far
To bachelor whose affections are without an |
snchor, perhaps there ia nothlug more aggravat- |
ug than the spectacle Of beautiful woman. |
With her sleeves rolled up, scratching her hus- |
lands back.
II your husband can't got you new bonnet !
gith hen-hawx On its crest, You have the sasis-
action Of knowing that the Alfonssts have de-
Gated the Calilsts IN . recent engagement in |
he north Of Spain.
Forward and 1oquacious youth: tBy Jovo.
ou knoW-upon my word, now-lt we're to SEQ
ghost, you know, would be chattering idiot
Of the. rest Of my I1fe." Ingenious maiden:
Haven't sou seen ghost?"
When man detects q missing button after
citing on q clean shirt, no one in the house is
ware OF the fact. He takes oil the shirt aud ]!
uts on another. quietly smiling a,l the while. i
[e never. never speaks Of it to soul.
When q man empties the pockets OF his coat,
preparatory to layingtt by for repairs, there's
othiog that makes his conscience get upon its
ind legs quicker than the sight Of the letter his
ife gave him to mail two months ago.
Bismarck is bald headed. but yon don't catch
ny German newspapers saying that Mrs. Bis
larck Is a high-tempered woman. Or making any
>kes about bald heads generally. The bald
eaded man in that country Is looked up to.
"A1rs. gplinks," observed boarder to the
ndlady OF Muuson street ca1avansary; 1.-The
4ua1 adjustment OF thls Establishment could be
ore safely secured II there was less hair ID the I
ssh and more in the mattzesses. ."-Ddn6u1y
'et1s.
IT never SAW you looking better in my life."
i'd B. gentleman, saluting his friend in the
aiting- room OF tho Mercantile Library. yester- |
". "Indeed," !" returned the other my wife
~ been absent s1nce last fall."-Brooklyn
rgus.
Mary's Difficulty Mistress" Let you 20 to
5ao nehnn1 Marv7 "hr T thnnphf vrn |