The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-12-23
VARIETY.

The Princess of Wales has discarded the pull
back and wears the jaunty Gainsborough hat.
1t is said that no Boston girl is admitted to
society until she has written at least one poem
on the Immortality of the soul.
The man who would poke fun at his mother
in-law deserves to be driven out of his own house.
And we believe he has been.
When three good little boys get together of an
afternoon, the chances that there will be
either q fight, window broken, or some stray
dog will have pan tied to his tail.
.. If Smith undertakes to pull my ears said
Jones, f" he will have his hands FULL now"
The crowd looked at the mans ears and thought
so too.
The first thing Stokes did after leaving the
prison was to take drink, and John B. Cough
wants to know if such liberty is to be encouraged.
Detroit man, just home from the Black Hills,
being interrogated as to their richness, answered:
IS There's lots of gold there boys, but it costs
hair 80
Georgia colored debating society lately
discussing, 90 Which is the best for the laboring
man-to work for wages or part of the crop?'
An old 80 uncle" spoke the sense of the meeting
when he thought '' bofe was the best, if dey
could only be brung togedder somehow
As stern wheel steamboat was passing up
the Ohio river the other day, little girl who
was standing on the hotel stoop ran into the
house to her mother, calling out, " Mother,
mother, come and see this steamboat-its got
hustle on
Sarah Briggs (reading the locaD-Sakes alive
L would no more name a child Alias than nothin
in the world They're allurs cuttin' up some
caper Here's 50 Alias Thomson, Alias Williams,
Alias the Nighthawk," all been took up for
stealinl
The following is the answer of q newly-married
Dayton man to the invitation of Philadelphia
friend who wished him to visit the Centennial
You are very kind, but since L married and be-
came familiar with the mysteries of woman's
wardrobe, variety shows have lost their charm
for me. ~
Dr. Charming was walking on the beach at
Newport with lady. " When look at the
sweep of the ocean and its power" she said,
'sand think of the infinite range beyond, feel
myself SO small as to be all insignificant Do
not you?'' My dear FRIEND" said he, I" when
look at the infinite ocean do not think of my
self at all. -
santa Claus with team and toys
Now Is starting on his way
Never needing cold wetting.
SSs SGs pa4.Isd Dnas iGSa Iook i6siSss Re Sesrs
As he moves among his wares;
and doubt il ever yet
Was santa Claus in such pet.
Now he purses up his lips,
All II vain he scans his store,
Names the children Ger and GER
Just one boy deserves a switch
And he has forgotten which
AsHAMED.-A gentleman caught negro car
ring off some of his fancy poultry the other night
4" What are you doing with my chickens p he
yelled. "l wus gwine to for to fetch 'em back,
boss. Dere's niger 'roun' here what's been
'sputin longer me bout dem chickens. l sed dey
was Coachins' Chyniz, an he said dey was Ala
bamar pullets, an was jes takin' 'em round,
fur ter stablish my nollege. Dey don't lay no
aigs does dey, boss? If dey does, I'm mighty
'shamed fur hustin' uvem round. Aigs is
scase."
No STYLE ALLowED.-A few days ago
stranger at one of our hotels asked for napkin
at dinner. The landlord refused to give him
one. "But,'' said the guest, "that man at the
other table has one." '' That man is a regular
border, and has just got back from the Centen-
NAL, and have 10 pander to him for few days,
but it wont be long before he will be wiping his
chin on the table-cloth, and cleaning his nails
with fork like the other gentlemen. No,
stranger, we don't allow any style here gen
eral thing, but We can't help ourselvers
sometimes.
The New York EUeninq Posi- expresses the
wish that Hayes should be elected by the :" skin
of his teeth in order to frighten the Republi-
cans into better behavior, and the Chicago
Tribune gives the following exempliication of
this sentiment from the mouth of q colored orator:
A colored orator in Washington, a few nights
ago. with more truth than purity OF rhetoric,
touched upon the political situation in the fol-
lowing words: My friens, once preach to o
right sinfu cong CATION. Dey was stfnecked.
Dey was selfsuffcient. Dey wouldn't lis'en to
muffin. L pray wild dem. 30 Lord l say,
take 'em up in de holler OBJ your ham hol' 'em
ober de moufo he'll Hol' 'em dar till We scorch
'em and scorch 'em. But, o Lord, don't lef 'em
drop in. So wild desc publican party. Dey
wouldn't lis'en to muffin. Dey let our breddren
in de Souf be Inundated. Dey done bust de
Freedm's Bank. Dey KEEP bad men where de
stole more n oder colored people does. Now de
Lords GOTTEN in de holler OBJ his han an he's
holdn' Of 'em ober de mouf o. hell An
Lord scorch 'em an scorch em-but don't lef
'em drop in ="