davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10
WHICH SHALL TAkE7

This 10 q serious question with the In
valid. He finds the market flooded with
proprietary medicines, scores Of which
are recommended 81 certain cures for
his peculiar ailmsnt. lie reads the pa.
psrs, circulars. and almanacs, and finds
saoh sustained by plausible Arguments
setting forth its virtues and specie &c
tion. The recommendations are ~
strong for o as for another. The
cures claimed 70 have been wrought by
one are - wonderful 10 those claimed TO
have been wrought by another. In his
perplsIity and doubt, the sufferer 10
sometimes led to reject oil. But II
should be borne In mind that this con-.
dition Of things Is n that cannot be
rsmedied. In . land where all are free,
the good-ths truly valuable-must come
into composition with the vilo and worth
less, and must be brought 10 public no.
tice BY the same fundamentally. which
10 advertising. In such q case. perhaps
the only absolute proof that . remedy 10
what Il claims TO be Is 10 try u. The
"tsst OF . pudding 10 the eating OF It,"
Provo all things; hold fast that which
10 good" 10 the apostolic injunction.
There may. however. be stronger Pre-.
sumptive evidence In favor Of one RENE.
dy than there 10 In favor OF another, and
this should be allowed It's due weight.
A due regard to this may save q vast
amount Of experimenting and . useless
outlay Of money. A. prssumptiys syi.
dence In favor OF DIR. Piercs's Family
Medicines. the proprietor desires to say
that they are prepared BY Q new and
scientific process, by which the virtues
Of the crude plants and roots are q.
trscted without the use Of . particle OF
alcohol. Not . particle Of this destroyer
Of our race enters into the composition
Of either his Golden Medical Discovery
or Favorits Prescription. This consid.
Grafton alone ought certainly to rank
Thorn high above tho vile compounds
saturated with alcohol. Jamaica rum,
sour beer. or vinegar. which are every
whsrc offered for sale. Again, they are
Of uniform strength. aud their virtues
can never be impaired by age. They
are also made from fresh herbs and
roots. gathered In their appropriate sea.
son, when they are Aush with medicinal
properties. In support Of these claims,
tho following testimony 10 offered:
NEwAnE, N. ].
r. v. PIERcx, N. Dear Sir: I
have sold a great deal OF your excellent
remedies, and I prefer to sell them be-
fore others, because they give good
satisfaction 10 those who use them. !
hear such remarks n "Sage's Remedy
completely cured me; II 10 . splendid
thing" or, "Piercs's Discovery 10 just
What I wanted; I feel better than I ever
did" One OF our celebrated singers
uses Il for strengthening her voice. and
says '.thers is nothing equals IT." and
30 I might gives cores Of remarks said
about your preparations. A colorsd wo-
man was using your Discovery, and after
taking three bottles WA completely
cured. She. being In the store. said 70
me, ~ don't want no doctors round
me 90 long - l q get the Discovery;
II beats all your d~octorr." And 90 !
might 20 on. I am. most respectfully
yours. Aria B. Cnoou.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10
r,IE AxArEr. xIxsrsEls.
ssesaa Appesrases CT the Geld hiil
hlngers.

ATS o'clock last night Miners Unior
Hall was Allied with an impatient audi
encs. and after something like half al
hours delay the musical entertainment
which they had come to witness opened
The curtain Was raised and disclosed ten
~good-looking young fellows, corksd AND
dressed in the most approved style o
negro minstrelsy. They are all vel
known in Gold Hill. and were greeted
With hearty cheers Of applause By their
shums and acquaintance.
The soiree d'Ethiops by tho minstrels
was GOOD throughout. Tommy Ale1an-
der and Billy Bundy were excellent as
| Tambo and Bones, and as ~Interlocutor
j. 4. Fitzpatrick was eminently a sue
cess. He has q good voice and q INT
| conception Of the true African character
| aud accent. The instrumental music BY
the company was everything that could
DO wished. aud the opening overture
was enjoyed by all. James Gribb'e sang
Dear Little Jessie" in avery acceptable
style, and Centennial on tho Brain
was given in a mos, comical manner by
Billy Bundy. ''Softly Ger the Ripping
Waters gave Mr.. Edwin Pascoo an OPP
portuni,y Of displaying to advantage his
rich ard cultivated voice. ''Since Mary
Ann Learned the Tra.la.la.loo." by
Tommy Alexander. and "Sadie Ray.
by Joseph Ivy. were encored. The
Grand Finale by the company was some
thing new. and highly amusing. 1t wa
u good buIlcsqus Of a circus scene.
The second part was composed OF
different kind Of entertainment and was
also excellent. George Wiltshire mads
quits a hit in his songs ia character
The cornet duet by lloskins and Pascos
was a surprise to many. who had ''nsyer
before heard such sounds blown from u
horn"
In "No Remarks" tho characters
were all well sustained. Dan
O'Connell's disguise" was com
plete. After all there IL nothing
that can compare with the o!i-!sshioned
banjo and the old-fashioned songs IN
usstO uliusafttsss Au'A' 'eN"4s - y
sympathy between the instrument and
the music II Is expected TO produce
which can be found no where else. Thi,
was set forth and eIempliisi by Mr.. L.
+. Hall last night. lie was called ont
until he refused to appear again. Mr.,
q. Trevillian's son. anil dance was &C
csptahls and received an encore, wher
he gavo some good dancing. Tommy
Arthur is a finished clos.danecr. AM
can "mark time" much better thar
many who style themselves profcssionals
Tommy aspirss only 10 10 called thu
'Pnncs Of Amateurs" TO which title
he has an undoub,ed right.
The evenings entertainment con
cluded with the Imaginable farce entitled
"Rose-Dalc." in which the boys ap'
psarsl to good advantage. Dan. O'Con'
nell played well the part Of the villain,
Charley Conw-ll was a model lover. and
Billy Bundy made a fine bouncing IN
FAINT. The affair was a success in ever,
way. and the members Of the compan,
may congratulate themselves upon theii
good fortune.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10


Orr roI II CESrEsSIL.-Erin @.
Howe. more Familiarity known a ''Bris-
| ham :, who bas b,en known in conuec.
a.. ,.;,. u,u,. p;o,.s, I.,,,Jrv a,
s =, y;,a;ni. CIV 10, mn.
mo lev. fnr The ,re,,
nieious yeS., pa, ,a'n;nS, H. has
- ns,,aS ..n,;ahsn" hy sool friends
o,su nN .,sn.n III. gor oil man
VINO ha'e y IN avs
nai h'u,se',, WV III al. In ,ho
Centennial, and then 60 home to the
dwelling place OF his parents and kim
dred. near Syracuse New iork, wners
ne proposes roos'ihs hnonH 'ns pn's'nA'
vines and hg trees LOT an inaenni'e Pc
riol. lie Will tel them all o Wv
big bonanza ahd o'her goou 'ninss ~
this section. get married.. anu loin tns
church lie leaves numerous lr'ehIs ~
'n's se.''on W N'su VI" pawn"
y..,,,,. s,...
r,,.;,.ram
'h'e'''n' VI "' c..
pany. IA going !" TAX q UP oah
Francisco Tomorrow night Notwi'h-
standing iil'hsalth and o,hsr auys1se .n.
eums'ances W. ha' .nd w. mr..
Interests y, Wv III !. IT, In halter
p".,,s. 40 ~ snir;,. ,han Tor some time
past. Apple is going below to put up
the price Of stocks. and u he dont
establish that much-talked OF "optinS
rise "r Soms,h'"s VI 'e NJ" ~
"'
MINER hcit'-A man n1' NJ
i"ehAf'S was '"la,''m 80,
o.s,osh bs was working in
| the bottom Of the shaft when
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

FREroHr REcEIrrs. - The following
frsighis for Gold Hill and Virginia City
were received during the twenty.four
hours ending at II O'Clock n. to-day:
Wood, 40 carloads, 10 Of lumber. 8 Of
merchandise, 8 OF machinery, and ! Of
quicksilver.
0rr SHrrxxxrs.-Thsrs were shipped
by the Virginia and Truckse Railroad.
during the past t~wsnty.four hours, 10
the different mills on the Carson river.
"a carloads Of ore.
No action with regard to connecting
the sewers Of Virginia City and Gold
Hill has been Aken.
Turnx isa message at the Western
Union Telegraph ofios. Gold Hill. for
Mr.. Timothy Cokley.
The nsw municipal officers Of yir-
einia assumed their duties yesterday
evening.
CAnsox Crrr Is situated In Eagle Val.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10
FOREIGN NEWS.


LONDON. Nay l0.-visuns dispatches
state that Austria has RECOMMENDED CIV
ing subsidies TO the Hsrzeeovinian's TO
fugees In Dalmatia. Ths Port declares
that IL will consider tho latest demands
Of the insurgents IL they directly petition
the Sultan.
The Fssiau Prissssrs.
Lospos, May io.-Ths morning Poa
says that l08 members Of Parliament
have already signed memorial sskins
for the release Of tho Finian prisoners.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10
Santa B.rbsrs News.

SANTA BAHRARl. May lo.-Ths steamer
orizaba sailed this morning on her pas
sage up.
Last night 8. F. Baldwin, son Of the
late Judge Baldwin. died from consump-
ton. aged twenty-five years. He was
attended BY DR.. R, Beverley Cole.
Tho weather 10 cool and foegy.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10
WESTERN DISPATCHES
,r.all 70 m. eolD III. .Aar NV,
CALIFORNIA.
Dividend Declared b. she Northern
nsiis-rhs sas Rrsnsiscs water
aupply.


sAx Fiixclsco. May i0-l:so r. NJ
Tho Water Commissioner. under the
Rodgers bill, met to-day TO hear propo-
sitions for the purchase OF water rights
for the use Of the city. Propositions
were received from the owners Of Lake
MERGED. Of some Of the Spring Valley
sources Of supply. Clear lake, McGrsg-
DRY. Tahoe. Amador and Blue Lakes,
all Of which will be examined by the
Commissioners and q report submitted
on the completion Of such examination.
The Northern Belle Mining Company
to-day declared q dividend Of 81 per
share. payable on the 18th instant.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

Hlols's MAGNOLIA BALM preserves
aud restores the complexion; removes
freekles. tan and s~allownsss; makes the
akin soft, white and delicate. It's sp-
p~lication cannot be detected.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

TAyyrn.-Choeolats. Ross. Lemon.
w%intergrsen and MolSssss Tafhes. at the
Ice-Cream Parlor.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

CANpr.-That delicious Lemon Cream
Chewing Candy. at the Iee.Crssm Par
lor.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

Tzoss large dishss Of Strawberries.
with pure cream. at the Ios-crsam Par.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

OLp-yasuIos.D MoLlnn Clxpr d
the Ics-Crsam Parlor-made daily.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

IIorRmIE.-virginia Is talking OF get
ting up a band OF Horribles to parade on
tho Fourth Of July. Heretofore Gold
Uill has hal the distinction Of being the
only town in NeyadA which could sue
cessiully &C, up such a combination.
Tue Knights Commanders ofths sun,
Of Lincoln Commandsry No. l. will hold
their regular meeting this evening al
OLI Fellows Hall. Gold Hill. Sojourn'
ing Knights Commanders are cordially
invited to attend.
Tus price charged for tickets to the
ehildr.n's picnic mex, Saturday will DO
one dollar for adults. seveniy-ave cents
for children over twelve years OF age, an.i
fifty cents for all children under iha'
age.
Coaosrn MAyrR will hold an inquest
into the matter Of the death OF Felix
McKenns, accidentally killed In the
Senator minc q day or two since, THIS
evening in Virginia City ut Q O'Clock
Ar Ia o'clock this morning there was
nm alarm Of fire sounded in Virginia.
The engines wero out in q short time
Lu, the boys wetc doomed to disappoin'-
ment, as il Was only q false alarm.
A xrxnEn Of interesting essays and
lectures will be presented before The
TEACHERS Convention which Ii to meet
in Virginia City tomorrow.
SEE the notice to fremsn. Chisf No,
Martin gives orlers for them 70 meet 81
the engine house Of Yellow Jacket No. =
ON Saturday next for drill.
Tnx regular monthly meeting OF Lin,
coin Hose Company No. .. will b. hsli
mi, evening at ! 30 o'clock. A full M
prompt attendance Is requested See
Official notice.
SULLIVAN. the fighter. Is out OF the
Hospital. He is not hunting for amy
more 2i-foot rings.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

CuoooIArs Cl,AxrIs. made fresh
svsry day. At the Ics-Crsam Parlor.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

Ics CilAns.-stnxbsrry. Lsuon and
Vanilla, Of the lee Cream Parlor.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10

THIS MORNING..
$50 oysir. s5S. 81. s5's
500 nsrisss. -. sis. 5i,.. az. BIO. AS. ~.
"a, 30
en 0saia b Carry. fTS. Tx
$40 b.st I bslehsr. sGS. Jst. 80. 81
COS California. ~. si.. st's. ~. si',. sik
80 sa,sss. In. IN. lis. u elo, iIS
iiss Cos. Virginia. Is. It's. rs. Is blu, az bio
as a.i. ! ssTsr.:.. 9. sss. y. Sc
as crswn Psint. i5.. 10. 49,. Is
issO lsilsw JAsAst. -. ?sS. 80 .1sS. 81. .2sS
i21 npsriAl Cnn-, ~. a., ~
2i0 Ksotaef. ilS. i2s
las Alpha. tgs. ~. t3S
2t5 bs!ehss. %, i9S. t,Js. 20. 80
SCsnissaes lsk
3sS sisrra NsvsAs. IGN
20 Utah. -. IN
405 ksstsq,er. 10. 49,. isS. 49,.
90 ses. Belcher. 20
Cos Ovsrnsn. cjA. ct. ca
BIS Justice. ~. ~. 7Ts. 2. biz. 3ss, siS
SIS mon Con-. II. i.'.. -
eyD Lady BrJsn. ~
'Ofi Jnlia. D. 81. 9.SA
els Csi-i.nis. 81. Sc, sS.ss
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1876-05-10
VALUABLE PROPERTY
FOR sALEl

FHs Y. =. CHURCH PROPERTY. IN GOLD
i HIN, ineludlna the lot. - By 100 fsst. front.
lag 90 hain sired togsthsr With the Chureh
Bulldins anA Ylnsosass sttAehsd, 10 offered fos
ale on fsasoaabis terms.
spS in NV. :. o. uaKS.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-07-05
A Powerful Magnet.

Professor Smythe was leeturing 10
Ossipee on Natural philosophy, and
in the course Of his experiments be in
trodueed one oe Csrrington's most
powerful magnets, with which be at
tractsd block of iron from a distance
of two feet
Can any of you conceive a greater
attractive power' the lecturer de-
manded.
Il kin" answered voice from the
audience.
Not a natural. terrestrial object, |
opine'
"Yaas, sir =
The professor challenged the man
who had spoken to name the thing.
Then up rose Seth Wimlet. He
was genius in his way, and original,
at that
He said
Il kin give you the facts, Squire. >
an you kin Judge for Yourself
When | were young man, thar
war a little piece O. natural magnet
done up in a kaliker and dimity, as
was called Betsey Jane. She could
draw me fourteen miles every Sun
day. Sakes alive. it were jest as
natural as slidin' down bill. Thar
wan'n't no resistin' her That ere
magnet O. yourn is pooty good, hut
'taint a circumstance to :he one that
drawed me. No, sirn
The audience sympatbized with
Seth, as was manifested in their up
roarous applause.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-07-05
Perkins's Baby

They have had a very dreadful
time at Perkins's With Perkins's baby.
IL seems that the child was verv rest
less and troublesome at night, and
they couldn't manage to make it
sleep even by dosing it with pare
gOric and other narcotics. Perkins
at last got perfectly desperate. He
remembered reading somewhere an
account Of the power of mesmerizing
persons, and it occurred to him that be
might mesmerize the baby and keep
it quiet 10 that manner. He hadn't
any great hopes of success, but one
night while Mrs. Perkins was down
stairs getting some sugar to put in
the paregorie, Perkins rubbed the
child's eyebrows and made some
passes with his hand, and to his graf
ifeation the baby suddenly went to
sleep
When they awoke in the morning
the child was still slumbering, and
Mrs. Perkins said she guessed it
must have gotten a tooth through,
which made it feel easier Perkins
said that he thought probably it had.
After breakfast be went up stairs
to see if it was awake yet, but it
wasn't, and so, after giving it TWO or
three rough shakes without arousing
it, be went down to get his bat to go
to the Office. Mrs Perkins called af-
ter him:
Don't slam the front door to wake
up the baby"
And then Perkins did slam it fear
fully, and he went away with gloom
IN his heart and horrible apprehen-
sion that that baby would never
wake up.
"What in the thunder ID we do if
baby should stay asleep and live TO
be fifty or sixty years old and not
get awake once." said Perkins to
himself.
The thought was maddening. 1t
haunted him for two or three hours,
and then be could stand it no longer.
He determined to go back to the
house TO ascertain if the baby bad
come back to consciousness. When
be got there Mrs Perkins said:
isn't it queer how long the baby
stavs asleep? He's never wakened
up vet Nervous exhaustion, sup
pose, poor little thing"
Perkins felt awfully, and he went
up and jagged a pin in the baby's
leg quietly. so that his wife couldn't
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-07-05
-------
Clothes for the Heather.


About a year ago the ladies Of
certain Dorcas Society made large
quantity Of shirts. trousers, and socks,
and boxed them up and sent them to
missionary station on the West
Coast Of Africa. a man named Rid
lev went out with the boxes, aud
STAYED in Africa several months.
When be returned the Dorcas SOcie-
ty, of course was anxious 10 hear
how its donation was received, and
Ridley one evening met the members
and told them about it in a little
speech. He said:
"WelI, you know, We got the clothes
out there all right, an1 after a while
we distributed them among some Of
the natives in the neighborhOOd. We
thought may be it would attract
them to the mission, but it didn't, and
after some time had elapsed and not
a native came 20 church with those
clothes on, | vent ont on an explor-
ing expedition to find out about It,
1t seems that on the first day after
the goods were distributed one Of the
Chieis attempted 10 mount a shirt.
lie didn't exactly understand II, and
be pushed his legs through the arms
and gathered the tail up around his
waist. lie couldn't make it stay up,
however, and they say he went
around inquiring in his native tongue
what kind Of an idiot it was that con-
structed garment that wouldn't
hang on, aud swearing some OF the
most awful heather Oaths At last
he left it drag, and that night be got
his legs tangled in it somehow, and
fell over precipice and was killed. "
Another Chief who got one on
properly went padding around IN the
dark, and the people imagining that
he was q ghost, sacrificed four babies
to keep of the evil spirit
"And then you know those trous-
ers you sent Outy Well, they fitted
one pair on an idol, aud then they
stuffed most OF the rest with leaves
and set them up a a kind Of new
tangled idols, and began to worship
them. They say that the services
were very impressive. Some oi the
women split few pairs in bali, aud
after sewing up the legs used them to
carry vans 10, and ! saw one CHEF
with corduroy leg on his head as a
kind Of helmet
IL think though the socks were the
most popular. All the fighting men
went for them the FIRST thing. They
filed them with sand and used them
as war clubs ! learned that they
were so pleased with the efficiency OF
those socks that they made a raid on
a neie hboring tribe on purpose to try
them. and they say :hey knocked
about eighty women and children on
the head before they came home.
They ask me if ! wouldn't speak to
YOU and get you to send out few bar
rels more, and 10 make them a little
stronger SOS they'll last longer, and
said | would.
"This sOeiety's doing power oil
good to those heather, and I've no
doubt if you keep right along with
the work you will inaugurate gener-
al war all over the continent Of Airi-
ca, ami give everybody an idol Of his
owu. All they want is enough socks
and trousers. I'll take them whsn i
go out again"
Then the Dorcas passed a resolution
declaring that it would, perhaps, be
better TO let the heather go naked
and give the clothes 70 the poor at
home. Maybe that is the better way.
. PhiIa. Bulletin.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-07-05
WHOLE NO. 1904.

see him. Still it lay there fast
asleep, and he went TO his office
again, uncertain whether to fly, or go
home and confess. In a couple OF
hours Mrs. Perkins came down 20 see
him. She was scared and breath
less.
"Mr Perkins the baby is actually
sleeping yet and l can't rouse him,
| have shaken him. and called to him,
and done eSerytijHg, and be don't
stir What can be the matter with
him? I'm afraid there's something
awful wrongl'
Maybe he's sleeping up lot
ahead, SOS to stay awake at nights
some more,n said Perkins with fee
bic smile at his attempt at joking.
"Mr Perkins you ought to be
ashamed of yourself to trife with
such matter | believe the poor
child's going to die, and want you
to go right straight for the doctor. +"
Perkins put on his hat and started,
and 10 half an hour he reached the
house in company with DR.. ellis
The doctor examined the child care
fully, and said that it was a very
queer case, but that in his opinion it
must be under the influence of opium
"Did you give it any while was
asleep last night Mr.. Perkins," ask
ed Mrs. Perkins suspiciously and
tesrfully.
"No, III take my solemn oath that
| didn't, replied Perkins.
at is extraordinary" said DR.
Gills. II think | will go and call
Dr. Brown and consult with him
about it."
Then Mrs. Perking began to sob,
aud Perkins felt that he was almost
a murderer. He followed the doe
tor down stairs, and when they reach
ed the hall be said:
Doctor, if J.. tell you something
you won't give me away on III"
NO"
"Well, doctor, | mesmerized the
babyt"
You did," exclaimed the doctor
in an astonished tone. "Well, why
don't you rouse it up again."
IL don't know how; that's the
mischief of it! Can't you find me a
professional mesmerizer to come and
do it?"
1.-The only one that | know" said
DR.. Gills. Lives in New Orleans. He
can't be got in less than four DAYS"
"By that time" shrieked Perkins,
"the baby II be dead and Mrs Per-
kins III be insanel What under
Heaven are we going to do?"
"We'll hunt up Brown; maybe be
may know"
So they started after Brown, and
in little while they revealed the Sc
eret and took him to see the baby
DR. Brown slapped his hands together
and rubbed its forehead, and all of
sudden the baby sat up and began to
cry.
What do you think was the mat
ter with him, doctor!" asked Mrs
Perkins, joyfully.
"Why, your husband says be mes
merized the child" said the doctor,
thOughtlessly betraying the secret
Then Mrs. Perkins looked at Per-
kins as if she wanted to assassinate
him, but she merely calculated "Mon-
ster!n and few from the room. She
refused to speak to Perkins for
week, and be has remarked to his
friends:
"If the baby wants to hollow now,
| am going to let him holer if be |
boilers the top of his head off"-Mar
ddeipr
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1876-07-05
Moaern philosophy.

First class in philosophy stand
up. Brown, what islife."
Life consists Of money, a house,
plenty Of wine and cigars. AID fash
ionable wife"
What is poverty ?"
Reward Of merit which genius
receives from discriminating pub
lie"
what is religion ?"
"Going to church regularly in good
weather, and doing unto others as you
please, without allowing q return Of
the compliment"
What is fame ~
"A six line puff in a newspaper"