Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1876-04-21

| All HckGQ on III Cne right COrnalr,
Lick, brothers, lick with care,
On the right hand side, not everywhere,
Unless you want the postmastair,
To make things hot, and "cuss and swear"
An hypothecary shop-The pawn
brokers'.
Vows made in storms are forgotten
in calms.
What keeps Lent the longest and
best? Money.
For washing mirrors, nothing O.
quals ammonia.
Half-hose will be in fashion for chill
dren this summer.
Secret societies are being organized
by the Chinese throughout Nevada.
Snow is q hundred feet deep in the
Sierras, and travel is Sierrasly i'm
peded.
The New York merchant who ship.
ped cat to a Western customer in-
voiced it at " one purr cent.
Pantaloons are cut so big and flow.
ing now that you can't get any mod
est man to climb q telegraph pole.
The Prince Of Wales is glad he has
got away from India. Nothing could
Hindoos him to go through the same
ordeal again.
There is economy in travelling on
the fast mail trains. You make
what you eat 60 a great deal farther
in given length Of tine.
The latest Centennial novelty is a
handkerchief containing the flags Of
all nations. The stars and stripes is
the best flag to " blow over.
If young lady wishes a young
gentleman to kiss her, what papers
should she mention ? No Spectator.
no Observer, but as many Times as
you please.
There will be some charming re-
unions during the Centennial, but we
doubt if any will exceed in interest
the meeting of the Portu-ge(e)se and
the Michi-ganders.
An Iowa house of worship is
called the 'tear-down church. -
There is one over in Brooklyn that by
a double shuttle of speech might be
called the break. down church.
The day has gone by, according to
the Detroit Free Press, when you can
chain grasshopper to all astrono-
lner's telescope, and make the star
gazer believe that he has discovered
"a new breed of horses in the moon.
a bill to prohibit the sale Of in
toxicating liquors within four miles
of the California University is called
by San Francisco paper can act to
promote pelestrianism among stu
dents"
Honolulu people say it rains nine
days in the week at Hilo, and thir-
teen months in the year, and once in
a great while it rains into the bung-
hole of barrel faster than it can
flow out at both ends.
A Boston preacher said If any So
ciety will take charge Of all the cases
of poverty brought on by intemper-
ance, this church will take upon its
self to relieve all the remaining pau
pers of Bost OH.
A physician asserts that love is an
affair of the stomach, and not of the
heart. This may be SO, but just i'm
agine love~sick swain singing to his
dulcina, Ask my stomach what
means this sadness?
They were seated at late dinner,
when the door tell rang, and the SER
want handed card to Joness wife.
Good gracious it's our minister and
I've been eating onions + she ex-
claimed. Never mind, said Jones.
"You need not kiss him to-day.
A prominent clergyman of Brook
lyn last week, while taking one OF a
coursed Of boxing lessons for exercise
receive what the boys call 'Jolly
| black eye" On Sunday he chose his
text from Timothy, 5th chapter, 7th
verse: II have fought good h2ht'
I have aaisaed my course.