The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-06-13
sIopps' Adventure with 4 Caif.

Samuel Mepps, E q bachelor and
butter merchant, was spending month
at his friend Grigss' pleasant little coun.
try place, u few miles away from the
noise, hustle and confusion Of the great
metropolis. enjoying the society Of Mrs
IGriggs, aud laying in a supply OF pure,
unadulterated ozone to carry him through
the long, sultry summer days before
him. tgetL a7fst3 .fsles5 So
he was quiet sedate and respectable
member Of society, marked sssafe" in
commercial registers, and eligible in
matrimonial circles Served out by. ma.
ture with short, stout Hgure. an accom-
modating, good-natured disposition, and
by the dentist with 6rst.class set of
false teelA. Sanuel M ,pps lapglled at
't66thsche. twibss tllli 6hen and t6dgil
times q ftiaftstaa an
A week after his arrival in the.country,
business of pressing nature called his
host to the city, and Mopps having
promised to take charge and look after
his household gods and goddesses until
his return. found himself duly installed
as general utility man. e saia ST.
"Haye you fed the calf yet2'' inquired
Mrs. Griggs, pleasantly, at the breakfast
table, the morning following her hus
bands departure. o.. lg.ss.s sre re
"Not yet,' replied Mopps; 81 didn't
know whether he would be up 80 early"
She smiled, poured him out another
cup OF coffee and said:
s'Pm afraid he will be hungry"
"What does he generally eat for his
breakfast" asked Mopps, who knew no
more about calves than he did about the
Tower of Pisa. s
"Why, milk,to be sure,' laughed Mrs
Griggs.
eyes, of course" said Mopps, trying
to conceal his ignorance and appear per,
fectly ou.fat ON the subject, yet wonder
ing with all his might and main how be
was going to get the milk into the ami
NAL, whether they played it down bis
throat with hose, or his calfship suck
ed it through a straw, like sherry cob
bier, or was in the habit Of having ii
spooned into him.
After breakfast Mrs. Griggs handed
him an immense tin pan, filed to the
spilling point with lacteal calf diet, and
he started for the barn, fairly stopping
with energy and milk. On his arrival he
laid the milk pan softly on the feed chest.
took seat on it, and spent the next ten
minutes calculating how much q new
pair of pants would cost to replace the
lk-stained ones he had on; then he
arose, and went to have look at the
calf.
He found him close at hand, occupy
ing the whole first floor ola stall, and
anchored to the manger by long. stout
rope. He was glad ofthat, not that he
was at sll afraid, still he thought it a
proper precaution, and demanded his ia
ryfa,J,y t;ee .--s5sl5sss--a
The calf looked as hie Z gain ae.-ea
wheelbarrow, and twice as ugly. His
outer garments were of sausage brown
color, freckled with white spots, a vii
lainous looking head, a budding tail and
stilt-like legs, which made his tout en-
semble anything but prepossessing.,
Mr.. Mopps did not talk much to him,
and as the other did. not appear eonver
sationally inclined, he brought the milk
pan over, entered the stall boldly and
confidently, held it out to him at arms
length, and invited his attention to the
repast, by calling:
"Pretty fellow! pretty Galley! come
come! come J"
He came at last, came with his head
down, the speed of locomotive and the
force of q nitro-glycerine explosion =
There was frightful collision, a rattling
of the tin pan, as it knocked Mopps'
false teeth nearly down his throat, bathed
him with milk, peeled square inch OF
skin off his nose, and when, that gentle
man tried to pick himself up out of the
corner few minutes later, his first i'm
preston was that the barn had been
struck by lightning He was nearly up as
the brute dropped his head, took run
and butted him, near where his suspend
er buttons were sewed on, hard enough
to knock down stone wall, and Mopps
had an indistinct recollection Of trying
to drive his head through the manger,
with a violence that started his scalp and
loosened the heels of his boots. 7B-
When he came back to consciousness
he climbed over the manger, sat himsell
down on corn. shelter and tried to re:
member how it all came about; by the
time he had got it satisfactorily though,
out, he was mad enough to break thai
calls backbone, and all the command
ments, into pieces an inch long Arm
ing himself with rake he crept around
thrashed the internal slobbering brute
up into q corner, raked bis false teeth
and the tin pan out of the straw. and
went back to the house to repair dana
ges.
"Gracious me! What's the matter
Mr.. Mopps p exclaimed Mrs. Griggs,a
be entered the kitchen, and laid the par
down on the table.
81 don't think that confounded cal
has much of an appetite" ne replied, feel
ing to see il his nose was broken.
"Have you been fightingl' she in
quired, with alarm, looking at his tori
and dirty clothes, his skinned nose AMI
general bunged up appearance.
\ "Fighting 2-no I've been feedins
the calf" he answered, pulling the hay
out of his hair.
"Why, you look as if you had beel
rolling in the barn yard" she said, a
she stuck piece Of plaster on his nose
He did not reply, but went up to hi
room, washed a patch Of dirt of hi
cheek, ,combed the cobwebs and hay see'
out of his hair, brushed his clothes, sew
ed on button or two, and sat down an
pondered over the whole affair till tn
dinner bell rang.
81 guess what the calf requires is t
be taken out in the open air." suggeste
Mrs. Griggs at dinner, after synpathiz
ing with Mopps on his scars and bruises
# Mopps thought to himself that whs
the brute most required was fifteer
} inch cannon. loaded with solid.shot. t
|, be placed within two feet of his heat
E and man to FIRE it off; but he said, Q
/ il he had been revolving in his mind tt
, same idea as hers: -
8 Exactly that's just it," q
e "Well, i'll only dare ask you to lea