, 1876-12-03
WORLDLY PARAGRAPHS.

An old Scotch woman recommended preach
er who arrived at the kirk wet through to get
once into the pulpit" Ye'll be dry enough
thcre.n
Talking ono day Of well-knoyn comic lee
turer. Douglas Jcrrold exclaimed: hEgad, sir
that fellow would vulgarize the day OF judg
ment.''
At bedtime now, after the little Philadelphia
boy has SAID his "Now lay me-" be adds, in q
truly thankful spirit, "Ala, amt glad don't
have to sleep out in the shed any nlore!"
Yonkers Gazette: a Sunlay-school lesson
cannot be we'll impressed OH boys mind at
this season Of the year without hc has good
supply of chcstnuts in his trousers pockets.
The sinful Burlington Ha,ckeye announces
that, whe,, the King OF the Chickeraboos was
informed that Bishop Gil Hayen was about to
start for Africa, he tclegraphed back, = Yum,
yum, YUM"
.Fyse Press: The Milwaukee clergyman who
was stung between the eyes by humble-hce Us
he assembled the pulpit would have said it was d
warning had tue bee popped it to man just as
he was going a-fishing.
i boy was much exercised for fear he
would not know his futhcr when they both
reached heaven. His mother eased him py say
ing, "All you will have to do is to LOOK Tor an
angel with red nose."
4 little girl, 1 years old, created 8 ripple by
rcrnarking to the teacher Of her sunday-school
class: sour dog IS dead. I bet the angels was
scared wien they saw him coming up the walk.
lie is cross to strangers
Buffalo Express: The small boys are said to
be inoculatcd with feyerish desire to llstin-
guish themselves in their Sunday-school classes.
This is said to l,e good indication that the
Christmas season is at hand
They are performing the cantata Of "Joscph" "
at the Operu-House in Des Moines. They had
no trouble in securing talent to represent most
all tue members of potiphar's family, but they
had to send clear to burlington to get man to
play Joseph.
Burlington Harkeye: The man who comes
late into church with sql1eaky boots is the only
thing in America that can even for one moment
divert the ninds OF fraction OF the American
neop}c from the clcction-retl1rns. This may
seem rather hard on the sermon, but it's a fact
all the same.
Burlington Ha,ckeyc: The clcrgy1nen Of this
happy land will rreach to-day to the slcepicst
lot OF men that ever snorcd under thu droppings
Of the sanctuary. The only way to Keep the
congregation awake will be to lean bulletin
board up in front Of the pulpit and have boy
paste grapevine dispatches OIL it from time to
time.
elderly gentlemen Of making common carrier
OF their plu. hats has become SO common that
the spectacle of respectable elder in church
with 4 red silk handkerchief, two letters, u
postal card, and o corner Of plug tobacco on his
head. no longer raises the ghost OF smile III
the congregation.
The churcl,-guers Of Boston must be wonder
ing what queer things will next be preached
unto them. According to announcement in
the daily papers Of that city. they hayc the
privilege Of listening to the pastor OF st: Luke.s
Reformed Episcopal Church, who u Will preach
a sermon in words Of one syllabfe.'' Thc an
nouncemcnt adds that this will be q 'thcologl-
cal curiosity" which nobody will dispute.
We suppose every one who has been in the
Art Gallery Mt the Centennial has stood as long
as the crowd would permit In front Of the
shastly picture Of '>Promethens Chained" The
Vultures swoop down With such rnvenous beaks
that one almost shrcks. The other day two
person OF evident religious tendencies were
standing before the picture IN Increasing amaze,
lnent. s;What can it bel'' mildly whispered
the younger. WELL" replied the other' with
something like disdain at such possible igno-
rance, should think any one who ~. has read MS
Bible might know. OF course, it IS Elijah led by
the ravens"
The San Francisco editors have all the advan~
tages Of firstrclass Sunday school education.
The announcement of projected railroad to
Jerusalem brings to light vein OF natural piety
in the Neans-Lettcr. Through BY daylight to
Bethsheba! - it cxclaims. ''Fast express for
Sloan! Passengers desiring to stop over at
Galilee will please get checks from the CON
duvtor! Coffee and doughnuts at Bethiehcm
and prize packages at Damascus. The faithful
and picturesque camel will hereafter only haul