Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-06-23
BETSY.

BETSY.
1t is wise provision of Providence that
in the veriest gala days Of life there should
be mourner; that in the hilarious festivl-
ties that have for their motto, carpe diem,
Il ere should be breathed above the perfu-
med breath of flowers and the sweet muir
muring of lutes, the needful menaerto mort.
1t is not welcome; it is the worm in the
peach; the blight in the grape; the fly IN
life's pot of ointment; and however I'M
ripe the peach, or sour the grape, or dirty
the ointment, it carks and worries us.
Nothing is SO fair as to escape it. Even
those bright gatherings that effulge on the
public periodically at the female college
commandments are not without black
spots on their disc. The public may not
see them, for, enchanted by the sweet fury
of the piano, or lost in admiration at the
prano, the public gives itself up to the
hour. Here, it says, is happiness; but
here, if we may be allowed to interrupt its
felicity, is its mistake, and here, too, we
may add, is the main point of difference
between the public and the giant intellects
that run newspapers. The Public takes
the neat programme and the list of gradu-
ates, and its place luxuriousIy on the cush-
toned seat in the front of the stage, and
says in it's heart, let the thing 60 on,
while the Giant Intellect who has printed
both, and who has writhed under the
many interlineations and corrections Of
the professors, long nights before all that
beauty has assembled for judgment, says
in his heart-well, never mind what he says
in his heart, but that is the way he comes
to know that among all this gayety there
is mourner.
That among all the M1NNIEs and JEN-
MES and MOBILES and FANNIEs and Ma
RIEs and BEssIEs and MATTIEs and-all
that sort Of thing, there should be any girl
so deserted of Heaven as to be written
down BETSY and likewise printed in that
unspeakably vulgar way is beyond compre-
hension. What had she done !? What
were her feelings? What was it. to her
that she had obtained the prize for thor
ough bass, or the certificate for her per-
Torrance of the Ninth Sym phony, or a
real four dollar bouquet when she finished
her aria from WAGNER's Vernichtunq
DIES Bretze5'sg" What was it to her that the
newspapers should have said of her vale
dictory that it was s'chaste and elegant in
diction," or that when the Rev. BELsHAz-
EAR DUNDER in his annual address be-
fore the young ladies had described per-
feet woman, he had looked at her Or
what did it matter that she had pressed
forward to the high prize of the sacred
golden dust pan which the angels might en-
Wy, and which there are many angels now
in Heaven who, during their earthly pill
grimage, never received for "neatness in
wretchedly low spirited when they look
down on commencement nights, as we
, have no doubt those thinly clad citizens of
another world do, with envyings frequent
and bitterness of heart often. What, we
say, could any of these things be to girl
named BETSY? How she must have
WINGED when the other names were read
!. out; for your dullest girl is not insensible
to the effect of names on mems ears, or
how that weak headed sex, caught by the
thinnest allurements, fall easy victims to
pretty sound. How man who hears of
MARGARET with Indifference will buy
tickets with avidity for MAGGIE; how
the willy CATHERINE when she an
nounces herself as KATE increases her
chances a hundred fold; how the neglect
ed ELLEN becomes pet as NELLIE; how
the syllable HENRIETTA steals her way
into a mans heart as 'NETTIE; how
MARTHA, though embalmed in the sweet
est of Bible stories, is powerless till she
will fly from BETSY will walk miles to take
BESSIE under his wing! How all these
thoughts must have passed through the
heart that beat under the No. "a corset
if it WAS that number-wlloSe owners name
was plain BETSY, and how she must have
cursed the day she was born, (f young
lady graduate can be supposed to indulge
i'm little justihable profani,y.) or at least
the day of her christening! With what
bitterness she must have recollected those
parents who started her into the world
with such name, or, indeed, worse than
without any There is no future for her
as she looks anxiously forward. No mini
ster will ever say. "BETsY, wilt thou
have this man for thy welded husband?'
or words to that effect, and the best she
can hope for is that, at her funeral, the
minister will speak of her as q pious mai
den lady, who played the 9th symphony
in her youth, and sung the OBSTRUCTION
of the Pretzel," and who, in her old age,
was full Of good works, such as church
fairs and talking with virtuous severity
of her neighbours shortcomings, and who
has gone to receive that golden DUST pan,
which is the reward of the just, where
neither the cherubim, who has been named
NELLIE, nor the seraphim, who has been
named MATTE, shall be able to look down
upon her.
Poor BETSY!
GEN. EDMUND r. BAGwELL, the tenn.
porary chairman Of the recent Conserya-
tive State Convention at Richmond, died