The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-04-20
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

= Nearly all the fruit in East Ten
nessee has been killed by the frost.
- Frogs were original greenbacks, and
since they first drew breath they have
been infationists.
s. Said philosopher: "My friend
conducted his future wife to the altar
and here his leadership came to an end"
1t has been found that in nearly
every civilized country the tree that
bears the most fruit for market is the
axle-tree.
A New York doctor advertises that
he can make people lean, but this isn't
what is wanted. People want straight
ening up.
"A Persian proverb says: "There
are only two days for which to feel anx-
ious. One is the day that is past, the
other is the day to come"
r-gRemember," said trading Quaker
to his son, Gin making thy way in the
world, spoonful of oil will 60 further
than quart of vinegar"
How few men classed as great re-
member to polish the heels of their boots
or know how to tie beau-not. In this
world there is no such thing as perfec-
tion.
"A Pennsylvania farmer has eleven
daughters at home, all grown up, and
unmarried. Sewing machine agents
and Lightning rod men kindly vel
coined.
: Schoolmistress--"Johnny, Pm
ashamed of you When I was your age !
could read as we'll I can now" CAV,
but you'd different teacher to what
we've got"
"My son." said an old man, 'beware
of predjudices. They are like rats, and
mems minds are like traps; predjudices
get in easily, but it is doubtful if they
ever get out"
"A man who contracted debt Of
$l143 promised to pay it in two INSTALL
ments. Last week he forwarded $11, and
promised to send the other $4S as soon as
times got better.
Show us q young lady who reads the
papers, and keeps posted with the current
events of the times, and we will warrant
that she makes an amiable, accomplished
and companionable wife.
Gray eyed men make the best sports
men; amber eyed men make the best
musicians; hazel eyed men make the
sharpest critics blue eyed men make the
warmest poets; red haired people make
the best cooks. A hair in restaurant
hash is always dark brown and just eight
inches long.
In alumbermen's camp, in Colorado,
dispute arose as to the proper pronuncia-
ton of Newfoundland" The two con-
testants sent man ten miles after die
tionary, but while he was gone the dis
pute changed to quarrel. One knock
ed the other down, and was immediate
ly shot.
Blessed is the man who knows enough
to keep his mouth shut. Some people
live sixty years without learning the art.
Indeed, the older they grow the wider
their mouths open. A man or woman
who is gabbler at forty-fve is dread
full afaiction to house or community.
There are two things this age needs to
learn-when to say nothing, and when it
says anything to say it well.
A wedding in dentists Office is the
latest romance in North Adams, Mass.
The brides father refusing to smile upon
the would-be son-in-law, was not let into
the secret, and the young woman left her
home on the pretext of taking a music
lesson, and found the dentist and minis
ter awaiting her at the Office. The pa
renthas turned dentist 30 far as to look
quite down in the mouth.
- The Charlotte, N. c., Observer says
that freedman of that city approached
a citizen the other day, and asked him il
he would accept an Office. "Fur," said
the sable voter, eve niggers wants some
body fur mayor, what'l let de COWS run
loose, what'll let de barrooms stay open
on Sunday, an whatll let de gamblers
raise hell every night if dey wants to, an
you is Just de man dat we wants"
= The Hindoo Bible forbids woman
to see dancing, hear music, wear jewels,
blacken her eyebrows, eat dainty food,
sit at window, or view herself in mir
ror during the absence of her husband,
and it allows him to divorce her If she
has no sons, Injuries his property, scolds
him, quarrels with another woman, OF
presumes to eat before he has finished
his meal.
- In Burmah if two married persons
are tired of each others society, they dis
solve partnership in the following touch :
ing but conclusive manner. They light
two candles, and, shutting up their hut,
sit down and wait quietly until they are
burned out. The one whose candle
burns out first gets up at once and leaves
the house land forever), taking moth
ing but the clothes he or she may
have on at the time; all else becomes the
Al al