The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-05-25

summit of the mound and fished out the
romantic princess to trade her off to q
neighboring chief for two dozen ponies
All romance in her life ceased here,
but additional interest (and medicinal
quahties} since attach to this wonderful
spring. - 80 =
The Sad Result Of Being Crossed in
>- 6Lore. .
- ~ q
=, His name was not-Alcibiades Jones,
but for.the sake of Avoiding scandal we
will cali him that. He lives in a GER.
tain town in Montgomery County. Some,
time ago he wooed and lost Miss julia
Bangs. He was perfectly desperate over
his defeat, and his friends feared that
some evil consequences would ensue.
Their. apprehensions were realized.
Jenes called upon Peter Lamb and ask
ed him if he had a revolver, and Peter
said he had. Jones asked Lamb to lend
it to him, and Peter did so, Then Jones
informed Peter that be had made up his
mind. to commit suicide. He said that
since Miss Bangs had dealt so unkindly
with him he felt that life was an insHp-
portable burden, and he could find re-
lief only in the tomb He intended to
90 down by the river shore, and there
blowout his brains and so end all this
suffering and grief, and bid farewell to
world that had grown dark TO him..
He said that he mentioned the fact TO
Lamb in confidence, because he wanted
him to perform some little offices for
him when he was gone. He intrusted
to Lamb sonnet entitled ga Last Fare
WE'LL" and addressed to Julia Bangs.
This, he asked, should be delivered to
Miss Bangs as soon as his corpse was
discovered. He said it might excite a
pang in her bosom, and induce her TO
cherish his memory. Then he gave
Peter his watch as keepsake, and
handed him forty dollars with which he
desired Lamb to purchase a tombstone.
He said he would prefera plain one with
his simple name cut upon it, and he
wanted the funeral to be as unostenta-
tious as possible. 1-s. -s. .----
Peter promised to fulfill these COM
missions, and he suggested that he
would lend Mr.. Jones bowie knife
with which he-eould Slash himself up if
the pistol failed.
But the suicide said that he,wOuld
make sure work with the revolver, al
though he was much obliged for the Of
fer all the same. He said he would like
Lamb to go around in the morning and
break the news as gently as possible TO
his unhappy mother, and to tell her that
his last thought was of her. But he
particularly requested that she would
not put on mourning for her erring son.
Then he said that the awful act would
be performed on the beach, just below
the Gas Works, and he wished Peter to
come out with some kind of vehicle to
bring the remains home. HJulia came
10 the funeral she was to have aaseat in
the carriage next to the hearse, and if
she wanted his heart it was to be given
to her in alcohol. 1t beat only for her.
Peter was to tell his employers at the
store that he parted with them with res
1gret, but doubtless they would find some
other person more worthy of their con-
fidence and esteem. He said he didn't
care where he was buried, but let it be
in some lonely place, far from the tur-
MOL and trouble of the world, some
place where the grass grows green and
where the birds come to carol in the
early spring-time, FEFNCE
Mr.. Lamb asked him if he preferred
a deep or a shallow grave but Mr..
Jones said it made very little difference
when the spirit was gone the mere
earthly clay was of little account. He
owed seventy cents for billiards down
at the saloon, and Lamb was TO pay that
out of the money in his hands, and to
request the clergyman not to preach a
sermon at the cemetery. Then he shook
hands with Peter and went away to his
awful doom. -s
The next morning Mr.. Lamb wrotetC
Julia, stopped in to tell them at The
store, and nearly killed Mrs. Jones with
the intelligence. Then he borrowed
Cooley's wagon, and, taking with hin
the Coroner, he drove out to the beach
jus: below the Gas Works, to fetch home
the mutilated corpse. When they reach
ed the spot, the body was not there, anG
Peter said he was very much afraid il
had been washed away by the food-tide
So they drove up to Keyser's house
about half mile from the shore, to ash
if any one of the folks there had heard
the fatal pistol-shot or seen the body
On going around to the wood-pile they
saw Keyser holding a terrier dog backed
close up against log. The dogs tai
was lying across the log, and another
man had the AK uplifted. A second late
the AK descended and cut the tail of
close to the dog, and, while Keyser re
strained the frantic animal, the othel
man touched the bleeding stump will
caustic. AS they let the dog go Laml
was amazed to see that the chopper wa
the wretched suicide. He was amazed
but before he could ask any question
Alcibiades stepped up to him and said
Hush-sh-shl Don't say any thins
about that matter. thought better o
it. The pistol looked so blamed dan
gerous when l cooked it that / changes
my mind, and came over here to Key
ser's to stay all night. I'm going t
live Just to spite that Bangs GIRL IT,
Then the Coroner said that he didn'
consider he had been treated ike gen
tleman, and he had half notion {,
give Mr.. Jones pounding But the!
all drove home in the wagon, and, jus
as Mrs. Jones got done hugging Alcibi
AIDES, a letter was handed him concern
ing the sonnet be had sent Julia. Sh,
returned it with the. remark that it wa
the awfulest slush she had ever read
and that she knew he hadn't cOur
age enough to kill himself. Then AL.
cibiades went back to the store, anC
was surprised to find that his employer
had SO little emotion as to dock him fol
half days absence. What he want,
now is to ascertain if he can not com
pei Peter Lamb to give up that watch
Lamb says he has too much respect fol
the memory of his unfortunate friend
to part with it, but he is really sorry
now that he ordered that tombstone
On the LIST of May Jones's bleeding
heart had been so far stanched as to en-
able him to begin skirmishing around
the affections of girl named Smith
and if she refuses him, he thinks thai
tombstone may yet come into play
But we all have our doubts about it. :
Philadelphia Bultettn.
r0A- Cautious Applause. - %