The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1876-03-11
WIT END WISDOM.

Natural humbugs--bees Artificial
humbugs-girls. A big bug-the ccek
roach
The proverb says" Lauxh and grow
tat. What saving Of corn it would be
if pigs could laugh.
Marriage" said an unfortunate nus
band, Z is the church yard Of love. " "And
you men, replied the wife, are the grave
diggers."
The average Milwaukee reporter having
found the skull Of an Aztec with a glass
eye, now finds in Lake Michigan a sea ser
pent with fms striped like the American
flag. Two drinks more would have put
spectaoles on that skull and made the re-
porters see stars as we'll as stripes. .-New
York Herald
You didn't laugh At my stupidity be-
fore Fe we're married; you always said
WIS duck ot a lover, grumbled com
planning husband. eyes, that's So" re-
piled the wife; and duck Of a lover is
almos- sure to make goose Of a husband"
At the marriage OF an Alabama widower,
one OF the servants was asked IL his
master would take bridal tour. " Dunno.
sab; when old missus's alive he took 4
paddle to her; dunno if he take bride to
de new one or not.
A profane young person. describing TIE
looks Of newly arrived Nj. c. from the
far West az he appeared at the Washing
ton depot, Gays - He looks a. If he had
come all the way across the continent on
the hurricane deck Of mule"
A little six-year Old daughter of a
Methodist minister committed fault ard
denied 1t. Her mother, learning she wac
guilty, asked her why she told the untruth,
when she replied, with great sang froid,
l should not if | believed as you and
father do; I'm a Universalist."
A Buffalo man dreamed that he was
going over the Falls, and he had his wife
by the throat when he woke I'd. Next
night she had dream, and broke his nose
as she struck at an Indian.
What do they always put ID. @. after
Washington for 2" asked Mrs. Quilp of
Q. "Whv, my dear, don't you know That
Washington was the Daddy Of his C2un-
tryf' said Quilp. with snicker.
1t is reported that somewhat Juvenile
dandy said to a fair partner al ball.
Miss, don't you think my moustaches
are becoming r. To which Miss replied.
Well, sir, they may be coming, but they
have not arrived yet"
1t is said of Lord Norbury that he would
at any time rather loose a friend than
joke. On one occasion he began the cen
tence Of death in this wise " Prisoner At
the bar, you have been found guilty by
,,Tr r
laid to your charge, and must say en-
tirely agree with the verdict, for see
scoundrel written in your face. Here
the prisoner interrupted with, That's a
strong reflect 'on-from your Lordshin;"
whereupon the Judge, keenly approaching
the joke, cOmmuted the sentence into trans
portation for seven years
The quick reasoning power Of the Ger
man is happily exemplihed in the follow
ing incident Here you have a native of
Berlin, who, IN the act of taking a match
out IF his pocket to light his pipe. drops
the match and lights another To look for
T. Whether or not he vas successful, no
body has ever heard.
Two Irishmen, in crossing A field. came
u contact with a donkey, who was making
tie welkin ring with his rnearthly bray
ing. Jenny stood a mo nent in astonish-
men but turning to Dan, who seemed as
much enraptured with the song as himself.
remarked, :" Its fac large ear that bird
has for music, Dan; but surely he's got a
mighty bad cowld !"
A doting mother, having bottled lot of
nice preserves, labeled them, " Put up by
Mrs. Dobbs." Bobby having discovered
them, the tempting sight proved too much
for his endurance; 50 he fell 70 work and
soon emptied one Of the glass jars, and
wrote underneath the label, Put down
by Bobby Dobbs
At San Francisco, when the Cinnamon
were leaving a ship recently arrived there,
an Irish porter on the wharf cried out To
another, T" Arrah Pat, an what do you call
them animals what's coming off the ship
with the tails on RI "Shure they're Chi
ney asthers from the Flowery Kingdom"
replied PAT, AN Id like to be the gard
ner that would set them under the ground.
Id keep them planted deep till the spring,
and for their obituary I'd write something
on Tails from Heather Lands, 50
would
That picture is very well tainted"
said critic to an artist, but why did
you take such an exceedingly plain modell'
" It's my mother" responded the artist
"Oh, All, stammered the critic, :" beg
your pardon. | ought To have known.
The resemblance to yourself is perfect"