Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-10-13
f. J1 N =


TALES OF MY GRANDMoTHER.-H
ley's boy has been spending his summer
vacation with his grandfather and grand
mother down East. He got home this
week, and few evenings ago, while sit
ting on the curbstone adjusting a rag Gil
his sore heel, he was telling Squeaky Zone
of his chums) what good time he had
The following is his story: i've got the
old boss grandmother for tellin stories, and
don't you forgit it She is as much as 200
years old, with great, long, crooked chin,
and her face kinder looks like pork scraps,
but she's bully old gal, and can't she tell
some awful Injun stories ? She says she's
got three mattresses stuffed with Injun's
hair that my grandfather killed and scalped
when he was young man. All of my
grandmother's pliers is stuffed with In
jun's hair, too, she says. My grandfather
he's got an old fintlock gun that [ guess
was made when Noer cum out in the ark
My grandfather used to shoot bears'n I'll
gers'n elefunts'n crockerdiles n all kinds of
birds and everything. My grandfather
F.,
and the wolf growed mad'n run out of the
woods'n run inter naber's house'n swal
Tered three little children. My grandfath-
er he runs'n grabbed the wolf skinned
HMM saved the children fore they's ct up.
Piruts used to sail up the river in front Of
my grandfather's house'n they used to rob
folks and murder EN- and git their MUMMY;
they used to murder thousand folks Il
day sometimes, and berry the gold in IL
cave. My grandmother was ali alone one
day, and some piruts cum and set the house
afire, and my grandmother threw'd biiin
water on the pIruts, and they left four
millions of gold and run off. You ought
to see my grandmother and hear her tel
things"
They took vote on one of the Erie
trains last week, and Hayes and Whee:c.
stood to 1. When the train stopped al .
station one of the passengers, seeing a.:
Irishman working on the track, called IT,
him and said "Say, Pat we have just la
ken vote on the train, and we stand to
l in favor of Hayes and Wheeler; what d,
YOU think of that ?" Pat took his pipe
from his mouth just long enough to say
''To-wid yer fashionable cars 4; just
wait till the gravel train comes along"
They got the new minister out at Sun
day School picnic in Williamtic the other
day. He had never been at one before,
and when he saw crowd Of boys approach
ing. he remarked that the little ones prob
ably wanted him to sit down and tell sto-
ries about David and Moses, and Rebecca
It seemed, however, that he was in error.
What they wanted was to know whether
with the ace and queen out it was a good
policy to save your jack or hold it and play
for game.
There is nothing more beautiful in the
whole range of animated nature than the
spectacle of lovely city girl standing I'M
der an apple tree and wandering if she
could climb it and get down again with
out any person detecting the complexion Of
her stockings.
A fourteen year-old boy has quit learn
ing to smoke on reading the assertion of a
physician that it interferes with the mo-
lecular changes coincident with the deyel,
ment of the tissues, and makes the blood
corpuscIes oval and irregular at the edges.
One Of our adopted citizens seeing a
bunch of bananas the other day, stood in
silent establishment for about minute,
ana then broke out, "Begorra, them Y anks
beat the devil, and now they nail pickles
to shtick."
"A young man of our acquaintance called
on lady friend Sunday evening; but AS le
happened to sit down in chair where the
cat was taking a nap, he merely stopped to
remark, "Jupiter!" and hurr ed back
home.
At the end of an Indiana marriage cere-
mony the bride advanced gracefully to the |
clergyman and requested him to announce
the hymn, ''This is the way long have
sought
ga Miss Post is the reigning beauty at |
Newport. and all the young men wait to
tie to her," This is generally the fate of a |
rail pretty girl, and she has no defence.
The pensive mule in not usually r, gar
ded as susceptible to pathetic emotions. |
And yet he occasionally drops mule eer.
When young lady and gentleman Lave
a controversary about kissing. they GEL