The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-11-29
ACHIP OF THE OLD BLOCK.

The other day a sharp Board of
Trade operator living up on the West
Side met the proprietor Of an adjacent
beer saloon, who said to him
"Helle, you given up drinking lager
for your dinner some more, now, don't
your "No," replied the operator:
but l buy It at another saloon"
"But why p continued the dealer in
beer. "Well, if you must know the
truth, said the operator, sit was be-
cause you always gave short change.
1t sent you a quarter for ID cents
worth of the beer that cheers, and.
if taken in sufficient quantities, inebri.
ates, i never got more than 9 cents
change" "What?'' said the saloon
keeper; "me give short change? Why.
you never sent the right change; when
you sent pennies there was always one
or two short. So help me gracious il
it wasn't" 81 always sent you the
precise amount hope to be cornered
if i didn't" said the dealer; "besides
you got TO given awfully small meas.
ure why, l could have drunk the
quart of beer you sent till I died of
thirst" "Short measured answeared
the publican Indignantly; ""when
began to find your change short / only
gave the boy what he had money for"
"Great Lyon" said the spectator, as
a sudden light broke in upon him,
and cold sweat broke out npon him.
81 want to be caught short on the turn
of the market, if that young reprobatc
hasn't been knocking down on both of
us. It's clean case of straddle-a
regular spread, and, no matter wheth-
er he had whole money or small
change, he was bound to make a
margin. I'll take the hide off'n him
when l get home, as sure as TO n
bountiful and overruling Providence
is due the creation of the smaller
sorts of apples" "By Jimminyv
said the enthusiastic saloon. .keeper
admiringly, "but that's smart bow.
Just like his father. Don't lick that
boy, my friend, and before you die
you'll be proud of him--you1I see
him corner the market and fail for a
million dollars, mark my words if
you don't. Don't lick him T' But
the angry father said he would.
When he got home and informed his
wife-who is a devoted temperance
their offspring was liar
and a thief, and that he intended to
thrahs him till (metaphorically speak
ing) the cows came home, she said
coldly: "You will not. If, as he
has, he has praeticed the
arts of dishonesty and deception, you
should remember that they are but the
legitimate and inevitable outcome of
your training and example. You put
3 beercan into his hand to steal away
his principles, and what more natural
than that he should lie and steal?
What does the Bible say about it2
This knocked him, as It were.)
Cursed is every one that putteth his
Jug into his children's hands, and
upon their ehildren's children, unto
the third and fourth generations.
with sorrow to the grave. Selahp"
He was much impressed, if not wholly
but said he would lick the
on general principles, whereupou his
wife solemnly affirmed that if he
lid she would go TO her father and
.ell him (the father) that he (the
husband) did nothing hut guzzlo beer
aud talk with saloon keepers, and
beat and abuse his family from weeks
,nd TO weeks end. And as his faith.
er.in-law ia a good man to know
when demands are made for more
margin, the broker had to let the boy
90 unlicked of paternal Justice. But
such are the contradictions of Wo-
men J when next day the boy lost
and he didn't knock it down-one
cent of the change out Of quarter
The gave him to go and get spool OF
thread with, she, on her own unsNpS
ported and wholly unfouuded pre-,
compelled the father 10 lick
hat boy. The father protested vain
", but made his conscience easy BY
The reflection that he was giving the
boy a licking for his previous Ohense.
"What is that man yelling atf'
l.