Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-05-04
HOW TIVE DEMOCRATIC MEN
BEES OF THE HOUSE
SPEND UNCLE SANS
MONEY.
4 Lunatic Before the Committee
Oh Expenditures.
President Grant in Danger.

President Grant in Danger.
WAsHINGToN, April 5.-The Dem
ocrats on the Committee of Expendi-
lures in the Interior Department caus-
ed all the Republicans to be notified
that an important witness was to be
examined yesterday, and that all should
be present. No hint was given Of the
nature of the expected evidence, but
the fact escaped from some of the less
careful Democrats that the committee
held President Grant in the hollow of
its hand. The committee had been
sitting with open doors, but the mys-
ferrous witness was produced, and the
doors were barred for two hours. The
witness, upon whose lips the fate of the
President Of the United States hung,
was an ordinary looking business man.
The Democratic members were on tip
toe with expectation. The Republi-
cans were interested, but ignorant of
the forthcoming results. The witness
was almost Indifferent. His marvellous
story was this:
Some years ago person in high
station did him great injury. 1t be-
came important to the peace ofmind of
that great parsonage that that witness
should be harmless. Hired detectives
soon hurried him to the government
mad-house. He was kept there, friend
less and powerless, for months, when
one day agents of this great parsonage
approached him, giving him his choice
between life imprisonment with lunatics
or life Of exile ir Europe. He chose
the latter. The detectives accompanied
him to the steamer, and he left for
Europe. Becoming weary of Europe,
he returned, and appeared before the
committee to-day to tell the story.
The committee seemed paralyzed, in
part with astonishment, in part with
diabolical joy.
"Who was that great parsonage who
wronged you?' asked the Chairman,
1.-The President of the United States, !"
was the reply, "What wrong did he
do you 2" There the witness paused.
He would die before he would tell. 1t
was a delicate subject, and should not
be mentioned. For an hour the COM
mittee piled him with questions. They
threatened him with Imprisonment,
with severe punishment, and with ter
rors of contumacy. The witness yield
ed. He said the President of the
United States had done him mortal
wrong that he had ruined his (the
witness betrothed, and since that
time witness had been a prescribed and
prosecuted man. Hence those detec-
tives, hence those mad-house bars The
President had frequently come to the
house OF witness about it at the dead
of night, and had importuned him at
his bedside not to ruin his great fame.
"But. interfered Republican mem
Der, chow did the President get to
your bedside at that time Of night :?
Did he ring the bell p The climax
had come. The Democrats were en-
thusiastic in their sardonic JOY, and
were just ready to render their verdict
against the President, when witness
the guilty influence Il want you to
understand, gentlemen, that President
Grant in the body never did me or
mine harm. He has only done me
that great wrong as spirit.
The collapse came; the witness was
a mailman. The Committee instantly
discharged him, Immediately ordered
the stenogra2her to suppress his notes,
and begged the Republican members
to keep the matter silent. One of the
latter with good deal of Indignation,
said he hoped he might be as mad as
witness if he kept still. In this way
the Democrats of the Committee on
Expenditures in the Interior Depart
ment caught the President.