Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-05-25
CENTENNIAL TRASH.
How the Desire to have Something Very
Old makes Liars of People---The World
Is Full of Deceit.

Old makes Liars of People---The World
Is Full of Deceit.
One of the peculiar outcomes OF the
centennial period has been the passion
it has awakened for all sorts of old trash.
First of all everybody wanted to get
copies Of old newspapers antedating the
Declaration of Independence 80 they
contained q scrap of reference to the
struggle brewing or opened in America,
Then the passion arose for autographs
of George Washington, Thomas Jeffer-
son, Patrick Henry, John Hancock, or
any one prominent or otherwise in the
Revolution. Then came the mania for
old chairs that Washington sat upon.
There are at least ten thousand OF these
in existence, 30 that up to few weeks
back there was no difficulty in meeting
the patriotic demand. Then came the
omniSorous craving for anything q cen.
tury old that was in any way attached to
the Father of his Country-old pots, old
crooks, old hats, old boots. Anything
that was musty enough to look CEN
tury old was fastened on by the patriots
as relics of Washington.
All this patriotic fervor has led to
lamentable results. People who have
always had the reputation OF being
truthful and honorable citizens have
fallen into habits of lying shameful to
contemplate. Such q one finds in the
attic an old dust covered cooked hat that
had been used years ago in amateur
theatricals. He says to himself !:
Washington may have worn such q
hat" Then he tells his friends that
Washington actually did wear it. The
hat is put under glass case, and Brown
and Jones, and Robinson become the
dupes of Smith but Smith reproaches
himself inwardly that he is liar in this
centenary of American Independence.
The centennial deceit does not end here.
Jones, Brown and Robinson heap up
hecatombs of falsehood about their an
cestors who "shivered with Washington
at Valley Forge, by jove |" or " cheered
for the great Jehovah and the Continen-
tai Congress with Ethan Allen at Ticon-
deroga, by thunderl" or, at least, "held
Lafayette's horse when he was going to
sec the surrender of CORVALLIS" II
this were the limit of the deception it
would not be SO dreadful, but Jones,
Brown, Robinson and Smith have called
forth q nemesis.of mercenary counter
feiters who prey upon them and q CEN
tennial mad society. The counterfeiting
of the newspapers of q century ago has
taken alarming proportions. The repro
ductions are so like the originals that 1t
would be difficult to tell which is which
same old type, same paperJ same yel-
low age tint, same torn edges, same
dogs ears. The Washington old chair
manufactory keeps six reliable workmen
employed painting go. W.-1776," on
the seats six steady old women are en-
gagged collecting cobwebs to be laid
upon the choicer specimens, and dozen
silent but sturdy fellows toll night and
day kicking tho otherwise completed
spurious old chairs round musty cellar
to give them appropriate mildew. dints
and cracks. The Centennial autograph
works is also very busy turning out
faded letters from all the Revolutionary
patriots. We would, therefore, caution
the people against the dangers besettlng
their souls and would advise them, what
ever tremendous yarns they spin about
their Revolutionary forefathers or their
relics, not to believe the stories that
others tell in the same direction, and to
smile respectfully, but irritatingly, at
their Revolutionary ric-a-brac;; not to
invest even paper money in old papers,
old chairs, old letters, old hats, or Mar
tina Washington petticoats, or If they
have already bought them to stow them
ignominously away until another CEN
tury of the republic has given them that
much genuine antiquity. y.-New York
Herald.