Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-07-29
C0NNgNlCATED.
SERMON ON THE HALF. SHELL.
EY DEACON pIoGENEs.
MONEY.

NUN y.
What 4 great thing i money chow friends
gather around You.
With bright smiling faces, TO greet yoT
each day,
Like flies round molasseS, they'll gather
and swarm YOU -,
But when your money Is gone they II
pass away.
Ny Brethren Money is the lever
which moves this ponderous ball otours
in the ETHEREAL territory of llmltless
space. It's possession has been the de
sire of manEird ever since the article or
its substitute was invented, which was
some years, according 70 authentic his
tory. before friend Noah put his grand
menagerie afioat upon the turbulent
waters OF the Deluge.
In all ages it has proved very con
veuient article and he who was so Gn-
fortunate rs 10 have none on hand was
considered of no more Importance than
4 pewter quarter in bank vault.
For the possession OF dollar or two
some men will sacrifice health, friends,
honor and soul brave the piti!eSS storm
of public Indignation aud Scorn; rob the
widow of her mite, and steal the silver
quarter from a teelhing child.
Brethren, let us be consolcd that thus
genus does not give character TO the
biped species, for though man on an
average may need considerable moral
cultivation, yet we believe tha, gcncr-
ally, he prefers an honest reputation.
Money is the great want OF our age,
and while the world has progressed IN
the arts and sciences rs applied To the
multitulinouS wants and necessities OF
an enlightened era, the science of max
ing money and the art of getting It, Is
a particular accomplishment of the SONS
Of the sircs of &c. In time past, mon
ey was made of different materials, IN
fact all the metals have been III reqnlSl-
ton, and even Mr. Lycurgus, former
Secretary of the Greciau Treasury made
the article of iron; q dollar being about
the size OF cheese box, and the DISCUS
ted Greek was forced to use a hand-cart
to convey his small change. Verify in
that day wealth was a burlhcn and the
unfortunate debtor of dollar or two
laborcd under a very heavy liability.
The iron money of the Greeks after Il
patient test was pronounced very incon-
yeuient and was converted latO pots,
kettles and pans.
As the great tidal wave of civilization
swept on, the wants OF man demanded
money Of light weight and small size,
until three copper cents cf an ounce
weight, each, was substituted by a little
silver bit of such small dimensions as TO
be easily covered by the piuionS OF a
humble bee. 1t remained for the patriot
sons of our !aud of spread cage glory TO
discover money, which beside being
very convenient, can be increased or dl-
mimiShcd in amount, with great facility,
and at very little comparative cost, rs 1t
is manufactured Of junk shop material
and printers inks. 1t is made IN con
ycnicnt form to frame and should be
kept in the house Of every American
citizen as it bears admirably executed
portraits OF the sagcS OF oHl country,and
on the whole is very great improve.
ment OH the japanese ard Chinese pa
per money, which bears tolerably ex-
ecuted design of a shattered lightning
bolt; though the paper money Of our
celestial neighbors is somewhat older
than ours, as according to their best aG-
thorty, it was invented about five hun
drcd thousand years before the creation
Of the world
Brethren, Money. money! money
is the universal cry that comes up to us
from every quarter Of the globe-and
who does not want money? As before
stated, it is the grand motor that moves
eur world along-it is the great desire
Of mar. 1t will secure the services of
of phiIosophe: or fool; Viii bribe justice;
save the ielon from the gallows; bride
the tongue OF slandrr; still the whisper
mos OF truth; will secure misery and
exile contcntlnent; heal broken hearts
As well us broken characters; deSecrates
in many instances the marriage altar;
frequently prostitutes the ministry OF
the gospel Of the momcylcss; imPedeS
our pathway by those iawning spaniel9,
friends Of prosperity; secures us posthn'
nous honors aud few hyPocriiica! tears
from Interested heirs aHd wc rest in the
firm hug Of old Death, the only indiyid-
ual our-money could not bribe. Never
thcless my brethrea, money honestly
earned and honoraby used is a great
benefit TO man, aud we too join in The
universal cry, "Oh tor a dollar or two :!
Brethren lot US sing