The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1876-02-11
Mark Twain's Advice on Domestic Dis
oipline.

According to my observation, the
most difficult thing to bring up is a
child-in the morning. You can, some
times, though seldom, bring them up in
the morning by yelling at them, but
the effectiveness of the process dimin-
ishes with its repetition, even when not
entirely neutralized by the children's
trick of stopping their ears with the
bed-clothes.
The only prompt, effective and abso-
lutte method is to bring them up by the
hair. If your child has good, healthy
scalp, without tendency to premature
badness, this method will work with
most gratifying efficiency. Try it about
once week, and you will be surprised
to observe how it's influence will extend
through the six days, inspiring your
child with the liveliest possible interest
in the resplendent pageantry of sunrise.
The pulling up of a darling child by the
hair requires the exercise of energy and
firmness; but no affectionate parent
will hesitate at a little sacrifice of this
kind for the welfare of his offspring.
Nothing can be more fatal to your
discipline than to allow your child to
contradict you. If you happen to be
betrayed into any mis-statements or
exaggerations in their presence, don't
permit them to correct you. Right or
wrong, you must obstinatety insist on
your own infallibility, and promptly
suppress all oppOsitiOn-with force, if
need be. The moment you permit them
to doubt your unerring wisdom, you
will begin to forfeit their respect and
pander to their conceit. There can be
no sadder spectacle than a parent sur
rounded by olive branches who think
they know more than he does.
vividly remember how my father
who was one of the most rigid and sue
cessful disciplinarians-quelled the in
spring egotism that prompted me to
correct his careless remark when he
was reckoning problem in shillings,
that five times twelve was sixty-twO
and half. $780," said he, looking over
his spectacles and surveying me grim
ly, Eye think ye know more'n your
father, hey? Come here to me !" His
invitation was too pressing to be de-
elined, and for few excruciating mo-
ments l repOsed in bitter humiliation
across his left knee, with my neck in
the embrace of his left arm.
! didn't see him demonstrate his
mathematical accuracy with the palm
of his right hand on the largest patch of
my CTOWSeTs, out IelG LnaC Cne OlO man
was right; and, when completely eradi-
eating my faith in the multiplication
table, lie asked me how much five times
twelve was, inisted, with tears in my
eyes, that it was sixty-two and half.
''That's right" said he. "I'll learn ye
how to respect your father, if have to
thrash ye twelve times a day. Now
go'n water them horses, an be lively
about it, too ~ The old gentleman
didn't permit my respect for him to
wane much until the heinfammatory rheu-
matism disabled him, and even then he
continued to inspire me with awe until
was thoroughly convinced that his
disability was permanent.
Unquestioning obedience is the crown
| ing grace of childhood. When you tell
your child to do anything and he stops
to inquire why, it is advisable to kindly
but firmly fetch him a rap across the
ear and inform him, '"Thars why !"
He will soon get in the way of starting
with charming alacrity at the word of
command.