Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1876-11-28

THE BAFFLED BOOK AGENT.

He came in briskly and sat down with o
jerk. One end of his paper collar reared
over his left ear; qualmy smell of last
weeks clothes hung about him. He
turned his glass eyes upon us. and loosen
ing his india-rubbcr tongue he began:
1.-The Universal History OF the Uni
verse'-in 1000 instalments-50 cents an
instalment-300 engravings-"
stop, my friend. Restrain the INTEL
lcctual flow-Dam up that torrent of elo-
quence. Listen to me-do you know
what has come to me since l saw you last
1t was in Octo-"
'But SIR" interrupted the book agent
You never saw me before -
Never saw you! Impossible Could
one who once gazed on those noble linea.
ments ever forget themp Could that coy
wart on the nose be ever forgotton--or
that eloquent mole on your iron jaw.
Never, never; it was in October that
met you last. Blessed October-that
month of ripeness and of sobered passion
Do you know of all the months in the
year October is" .,.t So,
pardon me, sir" exclaimed the book
agent, rolling his brass eyelids in desper-
alton, "you are"
"Pardon me, sir; cannot allow any
man 10 hold the reins o: conversation over
me-l will not be interrupted-to resume
my great grandmother was the pertest
woman OF her age that you ever saw
She was one hundred and thirty-two years
old, and yet was as clipper as the best OF
US. My brother, who was an inventive
man. put her on pair of wheels, and it
would have done you good to have seen
her scoot around. l suppose ours was
the only family that could boast of grand
mother on wheels, and yet
but, sir, | am in great hurry, and"
"You must positively not interrupt me,
my friend. As was saying before, when
a man has family growing up around
him, it is hard to say which one he loves
best. And yet that boy Of mine, with the
strawberry mark on his left ear. There's
queer story connected with that straw
berry mark that would please you--have
you childp"
81 am the father of thirteen miserable
children" he replied. to
"Ah, then you can sympathize with my
story. You have been a mother yourself.
Ah. who can sound the depth Of mothers
love! 1t is as deep as an artesian well.
as high as liberty pole. 1t scars like
Chinese kite, it grovels like grounding.
1t is sweet to be mother. 1t gives Us Q
new life and fills US with broad, deep,
sweet"
"Really, sir, haven't the Tine" bIose
out the perplexed and desperate agent.
Now, there you 60 again. You throw
me out every time. But TO 90 back to
our conversation. do think he was the
: Upptncf dor I Ahkar~k k<
was quite young when he was born, he
seemed to take to learning naturally.
When would send him to drive the pigs
out of the yard, he would take the little
pigs patronizingly by the ear'' }'9''
"Ha hap laughed the book agent.
dolefully, "quite bright dog-quite
bright-but would you like this univ
'lnterrupting me again there But 1t
don't matter. To resume: As l said be-
fore, the boat was very small and quite
cranky. 1t rocked wildly, and the girl
became excited. and it was hard to con-
troll her. You have doubtless been on the
water, and understand"
just here the book agent rose, his steel
Joints swapping viciouslv. He cast one
wild, scared look around him and made
for the door. Having reached the door,
he turned and looked back hungrily. He
frightened up, as ifhe were going to open
the conversation again, but he gulped his
sorrow down hastily and fed.
Come back and see us again." we
called blandly over the stairs "You are
such a good listener it's pleasure TO talk
to you. Yes. come again Come during
the next centennial r'-Atlanta C0astitu-
ton.