, 1876-01-20
AGlOOMY NEGOTIATION.
A Man Who Wanted to Buy a
Coffin.


From the Danbury News.]
Mr.. Phipps, of the firm of Phipps &
lodge, the Danbury undertakers, was
sitting in his shop, Saturday afternoon,
ruminating gloomily upon the hard
times, when the door opened and in
came stranger. The visitor was a
slim-faced man, dressed in dun-col-
ored suit of rather tight-ftting clothes.
He looked clear around the room, care
fully avoiding glance at the under
taker until the circuit was completed.
Then he looked curiously at him and
said:
s. Is the boss in?"
"Yes, sir, I'm one of them. Is there
anything can dc for you. sir?"
well. that'll devend on how ye kin
deal, reckon" replied the stranger, in
tone of subdued shrewdness. 81
have just had to shoulder pretty heavy
affiiction. My old woman went under
yesterday" He paused. and looked
interrogatively over the array of coffins
and caskets.
"Your wife is dead?" inquired Mr..
Phipps, with professional anxiety.
you've hit it square, boss" replied
the stranger, with an approving nod.
"What time yesterday did the sad
event occur?"
"About 5 P. NJ, as near as we kin
reckon"
Pass away peacefully?'
''Lit out without groan," explained
the bereaved. "She'd been sick off an
ON for about two years an better. Not
right down sick all that time, but then
don't think that she done a square
days work in two Yeas. It's been a
great expense all through. but don't
complain, howsuuever. 1 came IN to-
day to see about fxin' her up"
"Ah, yes; you wish to secure burial
case. We have as you see, various
kinds. You will want something rather
nice. fancy" said Mr.. Phipps.
"Well, yes; 1 want something that
will show considerable grief an sor1er,
but nothing that's goin' to upset folks,
you know. We are plain people, boss,
an at time like this-with great af-
Fiction shouldered on us--we don't feel
like rilin' up the neighbors. If it was
huskin' bae, now, or barn raisin'
even, I'd calculate to make their eyes
prance right around in their heads.
But" and he sighed heavily, this is a
boss of another color"
"How would this do?" suggested Mr..
Phipps, indicating plain rosewood.
"What is the price of that2 You see.
loss, we live over i'll Baxter Plain. It's
a small place, an there amt much
style. We don't want to so in too
heavy, you know.
Certainly not; but this very neat
looking article"
Yes" conceded the widower, sit
does seem as if one needn't feel uneasy
with that coffin in the front room, an
the room fr,lI Of paopio ~
II can let you have that for So"
"Jee--Oh. l couldn't think of pay
ing that. Fofty-fve dollars. Why, you
kin git wagon in two colors for that
money. You see, boss, this is plain
country funeral, and not torch light
procession" feelingly explained the
widower.
"How will this do, them" next in
quired the undertaken, hastily pointing
to another article Of common wood,
brightly stained.
"How much is that"
"Only eighteen dollars"
Eighteen dollars, hey? We'll, that's
mnch more like it. Still, don't it strike
you that S1S is pretty steep for these
times?"
Not for an article like that, Sir. l
can assure you that such coffin could
not have been bought for a cent less
than $22 one year ago.
1T may be cheap es you say" ru-
minated the 5ereaved; "yet S1S is a
good big pile of money. l want some
thing nice Of course, but I don't want
to jump IN SO mighty heavy as to make
people think never had funeral be-
fore. You get at what mean?"
"Oh, yes. perfectly. You want an
article that will look respectable and in
keeping with your circumstances, but
yet you do not wish to be too demon
strative in yoar SORROW
by jiuks, I guess you've got it squar
on the head" said the pleased sufferer.
''Now this is an article that just an
swers the purpose, in my judgment, and
1 have had years of experience"
"Yes. yes. you must 'Av tucked in a
leap of 'en," said the stranger. in a
tone of unqualified respect. This is a
sound one, suppose?"
Perfectly so; we use the very best
kinds of wood, explained Mr.. Phipps.
"Just see here minute" exclaimed
the stranger, suddenly and impressiyely
drawing the undertaken to one side.
"You say that coffin is sound as a nut,
an you want eighteen dollars for it?
Now, I want you to understand there is
nothing small about NE, an that I've
got just as much respect for the dead as
any other man living, l don't care where
you snake him from. But Winter is
coming on, you know, an we owe a