The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1876-11-30
THE CANNASSER'S TALE.
BY MARK TWAIN.

BY MARK TWAIN.
Poor, sad-eyed stranger. There
was that about his humble mien, his
tired look, his decayed-gentility
clothes, that almost reached the mus
tard-seed Of charity that tstillremained,
remote and lonely, in the empty vast
ness of my heart, notwithstanding |
observed a portfolio under his arm,
and said to myself, Behold. Provi-
dence hath delivered his servant into
the hands of another canvasser."
Well, these people always get one in
! tereSted. Before | well knew how it
came about, this one was telling me
| his history, and-1 was all attention
and sympathy. He told it something
| like this:
MY parents died, alas, when | was
Il little, sinless child. My uncle THU
riel took me to his heart and reared me
as his own. He was my only relative
in the wide world: but he was good
and rich and generous. He reared me
! in the lap of luxury. knew no want
that money could satisfy.
In the fullness of time | was grad
uated, and went with two of my Serv-
ants-my chamberlain and my valet
to travel in foreign countries. Dur
ing four years ! fitted upon careless
wing amid the beauteous gardens of
the distant strand, if you will permit
this form of speech in one whose
tongue was ever attuned to pocsy; and
indeed | so speak with confidence, as
one unto his kind, for perceiTe by
your eyes that you too, sir, are gifted
with the divine imitation. In those far
| lands | revcled i'll the ambrosial food
that fructities the soul, the mind,
the heart. But OF all things,
that which most appealed to my
inbOrn aesthetic taste was the prevailing
custom there, among the rich, of max
ing collections of elegant and costly
rarities dainty 0bjetS de Uertu, and in
an evil hour | tried to uplift my Uncle
GnIo AN ul5Ioo cruPrVy rIIUIU. 80
Il wrote and told him of one gem
tleman's vast collection of shells;
another'S noble collection of meer-
schaum pipes; another's elevating and
refining collection of undecipherable
autographs; another's priceless collec-
ton of old china; another S enchanting
collection of pOStage-StampS-and
so forth and so on. Soon my
letters yielded fruit. My un-
Gle began to look about for something
to make a collection Of You may
know, perhaps, how leetly ataste like
this dilates. His soon became rag
ing fever, though knew it not. He
began to neglect his great pork bust
ness: presently he wholly retired and
| turned an elegant leisure into rabld
search for curious things. His wealth
was vast and he spared it not. First
| he tried cOw-bells. He made cOllec-
| tion which filled five large salons, and
| comprehended all the different sorts OF
| cOw-bells that ever had been contrived,
save one. That One-an antique. and
the only specimen eXtant-was pos
sessed by another collector. My uncle
offered enormous sums for it, but the
gentleman would not sell. Doubtless
YOU know what necessarily resulted.
A true collector attaches no value to a
collection that is not complete. His
great heart breaks, he sells his hoard,
he turns his mind to some field that
seems unoccupied.
"Thus did my uncle. He next tried
brickhats. After piling up vast and
intensely interesting collection, the
former difficulty supervened; his great
heart broke again: he sold out his soul
idol to the retired brewer who pos
sessed the missing brick. Then he
tried flint hatchets and other imple
ments of Primeval Man, but by anc
by discovered that the factory where
they were made was supplying othe1
collectors as well as himself. He trie(
Aztec inscriptions and stuffed whale:
another failure, after incredible
labor and expense. When his collec
ton seemed at last perfect, a stuffed
whale arrived from Greenland and al
Aztec inscription from the Cundurang'
regions of Central America that mad
all former specimens insignificant. Nj.
} uncle hastened to secure these nobl
: gems. He got the stuffed whale, bu
e another collector got the inscription
q A real Cundurango, as possibly yo
y know, is possession of such suprem
value that, when once collector get
it, he will rather part with his famll
than with it. So my uncle sold ou,
and saw his darlings go forth, neve
= more to return; and his coal black hal
>, turned white as snow ina single nigh
= Nov he waited, and thought. II
: knew another disappointment migt
u kill him. He was resolved that b
would choose things next time that Il
other man was collecting. He car
;. fully made up his mind, and once MOI
: entered the tield-this time to make
: collection of echoes
; "Of what ?" said l.
Echoes, sir. His first purchas
:, was an echo in Georgia that repeatt
- four times his next was asix-repeat'
y, in Maryland; his next was thlrtee
- = repeater in Maine; his next was
" nine-repeater in Kansas; his next WI
. a twelve-repeater in Tennessee, whi'
- he got cheap, so to speak, because
was out of repair, a portion OF Il
a. crag which reflected it having tumble
n down. He believed he could repa
N it at cost of a few thousand dollal
h and, by increasing the elevation wi
le masonry, treble the repeating caps
itv; but the architect who undt