Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-05-13
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

There aren't many centenarians, but
there are deadloads of narycentians.
While flock OF wild geese was passing
over Idaho recently goose egg tell to
the ground.
There are enough Presidential candi-
dates; what this country wants and
must have is more base ball clubs.
"What is your business, sir 2" asked the
court i'm sharp voice. ga conchologist' >
What's that q said the judge. II open
clams''
There is economy in travelling oil the
fest mail trains. You make what you
eat go a great deal farther in a given
length of time.
A movement is OH foot in Washington
to bring out Bishop Simpson as cam
didatc for President.
A granger writes TO rural paper to
ask ''hOw long cows should be milked p
"Why, the same as short cows, of course"
| auuS dUOtQeF rural cultOT.
A bricklayer recently died IN London
who was found to have the heaviest brain
on record; it weighed IS ounces. The
man could neither read nor write.
1t is stated that the Sunday question
will be rediscussed by the Centennial
commission. with a possibility that the
grounds may be open OIL Sunday. after
all.
why DO you chew tobacco:" said a
city minister to il newsboy who was roll
ing quid i'm his mouth. 40 get the
juice outenit," was the reply of the little
wretch.
"a Roman lictOr." said Bales, whose
historical information comes by detail on
the fly. "A Roman lictOr! Well.
s'pose she deserved it. No one but the
Roman knows"
Why should the beehive be taken as a
symbol of industry? Not bee is to be
seen all winter long, while the cockroach
is up at five o'clock in the morning. and
never goes to bed till midnight.
There is one thing about hen that
looks like wisdum-they don't cacklt
much till they have laid their eggs. Som,
folks are always Dragging and cackiins
what they are going to do beforehand.
Great annoyance has been caused til,
manager of the machinery hall at tn,
Centennial by the bad faith of person:
who engaged space and subsequently de-
cline to occupy it. Over 400 such cases
have occurred
A Harrisburg man who boasted he'd
never seen the horse that could throw
him, was landed i'm druggists show
window about five minutes aftcrward,
amid a chorus of There's a light in the
window for you"
Two Of the old Red Stockings have
joined choir, says the Graphic. One
Of them of1iciates as short stop on the
organ, and the other sings third base.
Their interest is concentrated on the
| Tuneful Nine.
A subscription paper was lately circu-
lated in New Orleans with the following
object in view: "We subscribe and pay
the amount Set against our names for the
purpose of paying the organist and q boy
to blow the same!'
A postal card was received at the post.
Office in Rochester the other day, with
the following address i'm German: sTo
my cousin who lives four miles from
Rochester on farm of forty acres, the
cars runs through his land and he has
ten red heifers.'
A young gentleman sent note to
lady friend inviting her to the theater to
see 'Richelieu." He closed by saving,
"DOn't fale to be at home this evening". >.
The lady answered the note by saying,
There's no such word as falc' in nv
lexicon -Wcbster's."
We have suspicion that, after all. the
millennium must be within hailing di:-
tance. AT funeral i'm Niagara, Canada,
recently, the members of the Orange
Lodge and of the st. Patrick's Temper
ance society took part in the procession,
each body wearing regalia.
A paper company in Holyoke, Mass,
has manufactured an immense ream of
paper for the Centennial. The sheets
are GxlS feet, the ream weighs about
ton, the value of the 4S0 sheets is $1,000,
and if cut into ordinary sheets of note
anper they would make 100000 sheets.
A pompous fellow was dining with a
country family, when the lady of the
house desired the servant to take away
the dish containing the fowl, which VIC rd
she pronounced fool, as is not uncommon
in Scotland. 81 presume, madam, you
mean fowl" said the pri :, in a reproving
tone. ''Very WE'LL" said the lady, lit
tie nettled, "be it so; take away the fowl
and let the fool remain"
The shooting match at indianapolis,
May 9th, between A. A. Bogardus. of
Illinois. and VIM. G. Price, of London,
England, for the championship of the
world and the English badge, 100 birds
each. resulted as follows: By the En-
glish rules, from five traps, 30 yards rise,
Bogardus, Al Price, &c. Fifteen pairs,