The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-05-25
Wit and HumOr.

Wit and HumOr.
A SHOEMAKER is member of the solar
system.
CAPTURED battle flags should be of
subdued color.
Nor always identical-men of prop
erty and men of probity.
A SOAP dealer doubts if I've can be
made out of any whole cloth.
The man who popped the question by
starlight got his sweetheart's consent in
twinkliDg.
WHY should man always Weir a
watch when he travels in a waterless
deserts Because every watch hasa spring
In it.
THE letter go" is called the most
charitable of all the alphabet, because it
is found oftener chan any other In "doing
good"
In debate. rather pull to pieces the
argument of thy antagonist than offer
him any OF thy own for thus thou wilt
fight him in his own country.
THERE is one thing about hen that
looks like wisdom-they don't cackle
much till they have laid their eggs.
Some folks are always Dragging and
cackling what they are going to do be-
forehand.
A GRUMBLING car driver said to pas
senger: s'You always want me to stop
when you get off" I" No.. sir, said the
passenger, who had no jumping notions,
"I don't care what you do. Ionly want
the car to stop. You can go on"
A WISE young lady will always leave
the parlor as soon as young men are an
nounced as calling on her older sisters,
in order to hasten events so that she may
come into exclusive possession of the
family piano as soon as possible.
sWHAT size do you wear, sir 2" bland
ly inquired the halter. ST think" said
the customer. "about just then, in
backing toward the mirror, he stepped
on piece of orange peel and sat down
suddenly" about a cap-size, think.
WRITING to friend in Nevada, gen
tleman closed with the injunction
"Take good care of Nancy" His wife
saw the letter, and it took him an hour
to explain the difference between 3D.
nanza silver mine and Nancy feminine.
MoCR1sp1N-" Quite right to get "a
pair of shoes, Molly, your fut IL look
Elegant in leather" Molly" But sure
I can't pay for them till Christmas. Z"
McC. (after thoughtful pause. "Iroth,
and it is pity to hide such a purity
fut, acushla. "-Pe1ach.
FOND mother Ito old gentleman to
whom her son is apprenticed)- am
sorry to say, sir, that Harry won't be
able to come to work for some little time.
| The doctor says he has got the brain fe;
ver." Old gentleman" Then the doc
tor is - fool, madam, for the boy
hasn't any more brains than-than
donkey, ma'am."
| THE FAIR HUMBUG.
Of mellow voice and soft address,
She is meek at first you'd guess
That she could only answer, EYes,'
The Humbugi
Speak you too plain? she'll only try
To hide her bushes from your eye,
And breathe the while perhaps sigh,
The Humbug!
And should you make your last demand,
She'll only gently press your hand
Perhaps she does not understand
The Humbug!
Urge not your suit nor love bestow,
Unless you really want to know
HOW firmly she can answer, mo-"
The Humbug!
AMONG the women standing on the
corner to see the circus procession were
two whose eyes probably saw every
wagon, but whose thoughts were over on
Brush street. $50 you think they've
run through with ali their property,
eh 60 asked the larger one. "Well it
looks that way. haven't heard any one
say SO, but can see as far as most
folks" "What have you seen 2" "Last
year" replied the little woman, getting
closer to the curb-stone, "all her chill
dren were dressed up and allowed to fol-
low the circus. all over town. This
year not one Of them is allowed
outside of the gate. Looks to me as if
some great financial cloud hangs ever
this family. Actions speak loVGler than
words - Detroit H5.po Press