The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-01-20
The Universal Cement.

1t was tall, spare man who shood
crying it to all passers-by. In spite
Of myself, heard what he sal d. Though
he addressed vacancy and 1 was in
haste. lie propounded it as a candi.
date for public favor and styled it the
"enly true and Universal Cement.
But he had very little to show for his
stock in trade.
Usually when one ventures upon
this line of business he has cracked
teapot, or soup tureen, or a couple
Of pieces Of stick rous hly fastened to-
gether. One smashes the creckery.
aad shows that the old fractures are
broken across by the new, as though
they had not ever existed. Or one
whacks the sticks with a mallet, and
meanwhile vociferates the merit OF
the composition which secures them.
Tho man did nothing of the sort.
In deep, mono.onous voice 1 heard
him saying: "This is the only true.
real and genuine Universal Cement.
Here you see it done up in this small
package. Easily carried in the vest
pocket-such . cement, gentlemen and
ladies, as the world has never known.
The secret Of its manufacture belongs
entirely TO myself. L have ne agents
and l want none. Here's your true.
real, genuine Universal Cement, war;
ranted to mend broken hearts so they
will be as good as new. l mended a
mans head with it the other day. They
said he was cracked, but | cured him.
It's good even for broken backs. 1t
eau be used for public outbreaks or
for family jars. 1t is guaranteed to
heal any breach between partners in
business or for life. Here's your true
real genuine Universal Cement-the
thing the worlds been looking for
and sought, but hasn't found"
By this time was leaning against
doorway and listening. The crowd
passed along, but the spare man, hold
ing up some small, white boxes in his
hand, kept ON addressing the moving
threng. Strangely enough he never
seemed to repeat anything except the
that this was the true,
real, genuine Universal Cement" All
else that he uttered was new. AS
he proceeded:
''This is the finest thing in the world
when one has been cut by all acquaint-
ance. 1t will heal the wound instant
ly and leave no scar. People who live
in glass houses will find it TO their ad-
vantage to have some of this real,
genuine Universal Cement. 1t will
mend mans life right away, without
half trying, just as easily as it will
stop leak in the household expenses.
1t has been known to fasten two ene-
mics together like the Siamese twins.
Where's the man who would be with
out this true. real, genuine Universal
Cement. It's the greatest thing on
earth for making firm the fabric Of
society. 1t will mend damaged rep
utation and that is more than NEST
cements will do.
"Ladies and gentlemen, try my true,
real, genuine Universal Cement. 1t is
splendid for hurt feelings. 1t will
make the honorable gentlemen in Con-
gress stick to their principles. 1t has
drawn together opposite interests and
held them firm. l don't know any
thing it can't do. TIT the only real
genuine Universal Cement. If you
want box to take home and"
"What's it worth ?" said L, stepping
forward.
'Take it at your own price, sir.
Make me an Offer"
"a quarter ought to buy it," said 1.
Ycs, it's cheap at that-dog cheap"
said the thin man. "But must know
what you want to mend"
''Oh-ho!" said l, 81 thought that
was my business entirely, | yuess I