The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1876-06-29
NO. s..
Captain Barker's Kicking Gun.

Captain Barker, of Danbury, owns a
gun. The gun is sniooth-bore musket,
Of venerable pattern. The captain does
not like to loan this musket, and yet he
has not the strength Of mind to refuse.
As a sort Of compromise he loads the gun
half full, after using it himself, and puts it
up for the next applicant. As may readily
be imagined by the reader, the weapon is
rarely borrowed twice by the same party.
The other day a man named Richards
borrowed Che gun to go on a hunting expedil
ton. The captain hesitated in his usual
way, but finally let him have it, cautioning
that it was loaded. When Richards got
out of town and was approaching a bit of
water where he expected to find something
worth shooting, he dropped the ramrod
into the gun to assure himself that it was
loaded. The ramrod went down but half
way. Richards gave it a sharp shove, but
it did not move farther. The charge half
filed the gun. Richards was startled, and
as he thought Of what might have been the
consequence had he fired that charge he
turned pale, and instinctiyely felt the back
of his head. Then he recovered and smiled
to himself, and drew the load, and went on
his expedition. Getting ready to return
home in the afternoon, he loaded up the
musket as it was when he received it. 1t
was about four clock when he entered the
square on South street Several men were
| standing in front of Mr.. Perkinton' grocery
store. The captain was among them. When
Richards came up, Barker said:
''No luck ?''
'No; could Mt hit anything"
Chow d ye like the musket y inquired
the captain with nervous anxiety.
"Well, it ra<her staggered me at first
but got more used to it as | went along"
said Richards, quietly. at don't carry
we'll, guess ?" he added.
"There amt as good gun in this town,"
said the captain, with a flush in his face,
'if you only know how to use it. Is it
loaded ?"
'Ies," said Richards, in suppressed
voice, passing the weapon with tremble
to his hand that the captain might have
noticed had he had on his glasses.
"Now, I'll tell you what III do,
Richards" said the Captain. ''You just
put up your hat again that tree, (indicat-
ING one which stood about forty PAGES
distant in the meadow, and I'll put a
bullet clean through it.
"Its almost new hat" said Richards,
as if hesitating, although quivering in every
nerve, ''but I'm so sure you can't hit it
with that gun, Captain, that I'll run the
risk"
He put up the hat and came back and
| hoe Of ,oft ho fc.
the grocery portico The Captain was so
busy putting on his glasses that he did not
notice this precaution.
Fortunately for me-" observed the
prudent Richards to himself, as he looked
from behind his shelter, ''there ain man
in the crowd | care a cent for, or | might
attract suspicion to myself by endeavoring
to warn them to get at safe distance"
The captain secured the right bead, the
company were looking on with breathless
interest, and then he pulled the trigger.
There was terrific explosion, chorus
Of terrified yells, and the confident captain
was in the middle of the road, fat an his
back, with the gun tightly gripped in an
outstretchad hand, while the crowd stood
motionless, with a ringing sound in their
heads which for the moment deprived them
Of the power of thinking.
The captain was the first to recover
He worked himself up on his hands and
knees, aud staring blankly around, his eyes
resting upon Richards, who was getting
over the fence with his hat on his head
and demure expression upon his face.
Gentlemen, he impressingly observed,
drawing a hand across his brow, ''this all
seems like horrid dream"