The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1876-11-03
n O.. 27.
MISCELLANEOUS.
Beware Of little expenses.

Beware of little expenses.
When the young ladies hand you card
now DAYS with the eabalistie letters 7.
NJ. C. A., It means you may call again.
A young man admiring the delicate fa-
brics for colors in milliner's store, wish
ed he was Emperor Of all the ruehes.
A man had lot of powder explode in
his face the other day at Amsterdam, n.
Y. His name is Going and his eyesight
is gone.
Profanity in Texas is against the law,
Sl0o worth each time. They think Of en-
forcing the law for month and paying
the national debt.
mamma" said young hopeful, who
against his will was made to rock the era
die of his baby brother, "If God hss any
more babies to give away, don't you take
EN-.
A beautiful girl in St. Joseph, Mo-, la;e-
ly refused a wealthy suiter. because he ate
what she supposed to be beans with a
knife, and the question now is, does that
girl know beans?
Matrimony has the power of producing
some remarkable changes. For example
we knew a young man who year ago was
sighing lover, and now, through matri-
mony, he is a loving sire.
The arithmetic says that ten mills make
a cent, but correspondent who has mill
SAYS that he thinks the arithmetic man
would change his opinion if he should run
few mills in this vicinity.
Mark Twain speaking Of q new mosqui-
to netting writes: "The day is coming
when we shall sit under our nets in church
and slamber peacefully, while the discom'
forted flies club together and take it out
of the preacher"
The late 1amented Lempriere tells us
that To was changed into heifer; but we
have lately cleaned from doctors pre-
scription the following piece Of informa
ton respecting the end Of that young per
son: Io-dide of potassium
" We must all die once, you know, said
a gentleman to a friend on his death bed
in consolatory tone. "Yes," replied tbs
friend, "and that is just the trouble. If
could die a dozen times, I shouldn't mind
it so much"
Nothing undermines ones faith in 8
mans liberality to the church so much a;
to see him run his hands down iuto hi:
pockets when he sees the contribution com
ing his way, then look astonished and re
mark to the person sitting next to him
I've got on my other pants.
An Irishman went to the theatre for tht
first time. Just as the curtain descended
on the first act, an engine in the basemen
exploded, and he was thrown through tht
roof, coming down in the neztstreet. AT
ter coming to his senses, he asked: "An
what piece do yez play nixt?"
lhe ehAea result says ~ l.'o'9A" P'Po'
Of having the street lamps lit these even
ings, is that most Of cur young men VIII
haas over o'nsf psopls ; 4oA1 ga.7 11: nlss =.
are gestnS efosS-eysa' ~ '1e5 al7 oDAlss'
70 keep one eSe Oh sne 'sn' - ses W -,
passes2 anu a'eeho 20 p'sslll4sS 2" ASa ~
the othef.
1t Is easier to polisn the manner tnan .
reform the heart to disguise 1aulf tina
to conquer It. lie who can venture 70 al
pear as ne IS, must be What he oaShtto D
requires the sacrifice of many . darling il
clinatioa aud the exertlon Of many pair
fnl effort.
Novels are tales of adventures vhic
did not occur IN Gods creation. bnt onl
in the waste cbambers-to be be let u