, 1876-09-03
HiiNf09.


| "A prudent man." says witty Frenchman,
" is like pin; his head prevents him from go
| ing too far"
| The family-trce Of Texas family shows a
branch on which several members have been
hung for borrowing horses.
The candidate who was ss in the hands of his
friends " was taken home safely. They pulled
of Ills boots and put him in bed.
There is growing conviction in the minds Of
smokers that yest-pocket should be made
deep enough to entirely hide cigar from the
scrutinizing gaze OF the man who never has any.
A Paris snob met Bohemian friend on the
street, running. " Hullo! Why are you run
ming so fast!" ssLet ME alone; there are holes
| in uy shoes, and run SO that they sha1't be
seen.n
Here is model verdict Of Coroner's jury !:
'$Ne do believe, after due inquiries and accord
ing to our best knowledge, that We do not know
death"
ist cannot drink from Jug after rising above
the clouds" And now Kentucky editor won't
go up until he is permitted to fill himself up to
the chin before starting.
Some day in the distant future the little
negro in the harber's-shop who silently holds
out his hand for 10 cents for striking mans
nose with his brush-broom will be laid away to
rest, aud catnip planted to hide the spot.
The Hon. Sitting Bull taking nervous
twist in Peace Commissioners hair, scntcn-
tiously remarked to the gospcler the tuft
came out, hide and all -" Look out for the
Injin when tile Bull wrings. s."-Burltagtou Hawk-
eye.
When we see man coming out of beer
saloon, with the protubcrance on his face re-
reminded Of the spirited words Of the late Hon.
Proctor Knott, viz: Rum BY rum the noses
fade"
This is the season OF the year to look for
shooting stars at night and watch the fall of
man on the Watcrmelon-rind-s sidewalk
BY day. And when the score is counted the
rinds will be ahead of the mcteors nearly five
to one.
"A farmer, the other day, wrote to New
York merchant. asking how the formers son
was getting along, and where he slept nights.
The merchant replied, &c He sleeps in the store
in the daytime. I don't know where he sleeps
nights"
Two little girls were lately pratt!ing together,
and one Of them s2id: Il We Keep four servants,
have got six horses, and lot Of carriages; now
what have you got:'' With quite as much pride
the other answered, 'Wcye got skunk under
our barn."
An Arkansas man thoughtlcss1y set some
springg-gguns in his poultry-yard, and the next
morning in the rising sun he rubbed his spec-
taclcs and stared ii spccchless a1nazc7nent at
eighteen candidates for Governor sitting on the
front fence, picking birdshot out Of their thirty
six legs.
II say, Jimmy, get stump Of cigar and
blue shirt, and come along. We're going to
bust up meeting in the Third Ward,'' and the
two ragged urchins went down street, yelling
Tor lin O'ShaughneSsy aud Reform. The CAM
paign has evidently begun in earncst.-Ncu Or
leans bulletin.
Four hundred and sixty entries have been
made for the Centennial Dog Show, and they
are still coming in BY the Car1o-ad.-New York
Co, G9n'n.ere'at advertiser. The number Of entries
Will probably reach Z thousand before the few
remaining days preceding the opening are Rover.
-Aoruich BHl}etin-
An inquirer at San Jose wants us to decide
bet. He asks: 'tWhat was the first name of
Shakespeare, the author Of Hamlet and sey-
era; other plays?". By reference to our encyclo-
always signed himself, e. Dobson Shakespeare
San francisco Newsletter.
The following is in drama which is PLAYED
now at the Bouleyardc: s'Ah, am unhappy
aud accursed. Ny fathcr died Of grief Re-
morfe 1a5a e.. will k me- The mother tries to con
was hs no ana our 9G yoq Gdo m mot DIE m he
heaveu) *'it is that saved you."-Paris 1etier.
During the recent 'toccultation :" of Saturn
by the moon, or, in other words, when the moon
passed between Saturn and the earth, several
astronomers, who were watching the paenome-
non with particularly strong telescopes, say
they distinctly heard the people of Saturn yell
inc "Down in 'front.'" to the man in the moon
During these cool, breezy mornings, when the
aif seems fresher and the fields are bespancled
with deTdiamonds, when all Nature seems to
invite man to romp, how pleasant it is, Just as
the first streaks Of daylight steal through the
shutters, for the refreshed, reinvigorated
sleeper to turn over in bed, and take another
nap. :.
A group Of men we're standing in front Of a
saloon, wnen squaw, leading papoose, came
alqng H';c One Ss,9 Of tile party hailed the sqgaT With
daughter Of the forest stopped and eyed the
questioncr, then, pointing her finger at him,
said, earnestly. " Him your papoose." There
Mas cnnsider3hln 1aunhinr hIt not at tha |