Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-01-26

Som OF Tou.-Yesterday, while
fifteen or twenty men were situn& In
asloou q the ferry dock. says n. Quad,
their shtns and lamenting the
hard times, . man opened the door anu
called out:
"who wants work st twelve shillings
. day ?"
Not man made answer. Some shut
their eyes and pretended TO be asleep,
and others were busy looking out OF
the windows. In about five sitnute.
another man opened the door ana
shouted:
"Who wants IN easy plaoe In the City
Hall?"
"I dol" was chorussed In tones that
made the decanters jar, and every man
jumped to his feet.
$50 do II" said the man, rs he shut
the door and walked away.
A GOOD STONY Is t.,ld Of an Illinois
Colonel who was heard praising the
BelA Ian musket. Says he-'ln platoon
tir.ng, with the Belgian musket l cai.
tell what cannot with any other arm,
and that Is, how many pieces have been
rired."
SLOW can you tell thatf"
s'Oh I coxRf the men on the grosnd. IL
never deceives me. 1t Is 'hre and taH
back faf."
One of these Belgian muskets will
kick like a mule, and burst with the
greatest facility. Several soldiers have
been killed in this way. The bayonet
too Is q novelty-a soft iron affair, ap
parently designed to coil round the
enemy as it Is introduced, thus taking
him prisoner.
PREsrpESr KIRKLAND, OF HARVARD
President Kirkland WAS personally q
great favorite with his students, and
was a man of good deal Of dry Wit:
The famous old tavern on Harvard
Square, now the horse car office, was In
his day great resort of students, whose
favorite beverage WAS "nip," drink
stirred with q red-hot poker. Once
Kirkland repaired to this tavern and
solemnly called for mug of the bever-
age, which he drank in silence. Setting
down the mug, he remarked to the
publican, "I understand the students
come here a good deal to drink dip"
eyes, sir, was the frank reply. "Well,"
said Kirkland, 81 should think they
would" and walked away.-Horper's
for Jdnuary.
DROPPED OUr.-"I Jest poked an
orange seed into brudder's ear" said a
little Cleveland girl to her mother. The
latter saw the seed, tried in vain to
reach 1t and then hurriedly sent for the
doctor. The little boy sat perfectly
quiet when the doctor came, and when
the latter could not find the offending
kernel allowed the physician to poke
away as much as he chose. 1t was all
In vain and the doctor went for instru-
ments. He had begun operating once
more, when the mother asked frantically
'DOn't it hurt you." ''No, said small
boy, "csuse it dropt out before doctor
came"
A YOUNG MAN in this city, who is par
ticular about his washing, wrote a note
to his washerwoman and one to his
girl, and, by a strange fatality, put the
wrong address on each envelope aid
sent them off. The washerwoman was
we'll pleased at an invitation to take
ride the next day, but when the young
lady read: "If you muss up my shirt
bosoms and rub the buttons off the collar
any more, as you did the last time, l
will 70 somewhere else," and she cried
all the evening, and declares she will
never speak to him again. - Oiathe
(Kdnsas) Progress.
CHRISTMAS dialogue between. two
little girls: "You know my mamma
has a beautiful seal-skin sacque that
papa gave her last winter. Well, l am
going to get that and take it over to
your house and give it to you. Then
you must give it to me, and I'll take IL
back TO mammals room. Then when
those horrid Richie girls begin to tell
about all their presents and things, We
can say thar we each got a perfectly
lovely seal-skin sacque that cost ever
30 much. Oh. won't they be jealous,
though .'-Se,r York Tribune.
AT A recent lecture upon the steam
engine Of to-day, some one exclaimed.
in the midst of the learning being
poured forth, but what Is steam, old
fellow!" There was great deal of
titteriny at the disconcerted appearance
of the engine savant, anu he proceeded
to lecture. This would not do, and the
came voice exclaimed, "But what is
steam, old fellow" "well," said he,
after a moment, 81 think it might be
described As water in stste of extra
ordinary perspiration."
THERE was an entertainment a few
evenings ago among some of our semi
fashiOnablee up town, and young man
with q downy mustache sang a senti-
mental song, the closing line being
rendered.: my mother died when 1
WAS very YOU n-g." Between the y
and the < disgusted auditor started for
the door, muttering, sensible woman,
that mother of yours. Trenton Ga-ette.
No DRINK FOR ACORoSER.-Mr.J John
Brougham, happening to be seated by
the side Of Coroner Connery, and feel
ing thirsty, said to that gentleman,
''What will you drink" "A little
claret, I" responded his friend. "Claretr
Mr.. Brougham; "claret for
a Coromsri why, there's no body In thst"
CIVILIAN" observed fond Danbury
father to his hopeful son. ''the prospect
of war with Spain is no longer i'm
minent, SO guess you had better step
out in the yard and finish saving that
wood" The grateful William stepped
Ne,cs.
An EXCHANGE says fashionable young
people are calling upon somebody to in
vent new dance. Suppose somebody
invents one wherein the young lady
dances around the house and looks after
everything.
A DowN-cOUNTRY farmer who put in
a half acre with turnips last summer,