Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-08-30
From the Toledo Blade
CONFRONT X ROADS,
WITCH Is IN THE STATE w KENTUCKY.
August l4th 1876.

Jcduy loI lilc great TelOImcI Hucu, anu
the tinanshel genius NV the 10Th sentry
Hendrix, met on the call Nv the chairman
Nv the Centred Committy IN Injenapolis,
yesterday, to be instructed in their dooties
by the grand organizer, witch is maxim a
toor Nv the diffrent States dom Nv that.
The grand organizer got to biZness to-
wllnst. He took the Dimocratic platform
and explained it to the speakers so that
Their shood be yoonanimity in their talk,
and SO that they shoodent clash in diffrent
parts Nv the State, but present yooniform
front to the enemy He got to the civil
service plank and he remarked
Gentlemen, on this pint 700 must dwell
with great earnestness, and at much
length Make no mistakes in this. Insist
that eff Tilden and Hendrix is elected, no
man shell be histed out Nv offs becoz Nv
his politikle views; that no man shell be
appinted to offs becoz Nv servises to party,
and that titnis, honesty and SIGH, witch
were Jetlersonyun tests, shell govern the
distribooshen NV patronage. Remember
this and make no mistakes about it. This
must be dwelt upon
Immejitly every one NV the stumpers
rose ez one man to his feet, and demanded
to be heerd, They come up in solid pla-
toons, and Ell | glanced along that line Nv
shinin noses, / wuz reminded NV fire.
works.
This is all very we'll, Z" sed one, but
| expected that / wuz to be collector NV
the deestrik, IN the event NV the elecshen
NV the CRATE reformer'
will hev the postoffis in my town, or
not word will | howlm shrieked an
other.
And every blessid one Nv EN- insistid
| that he'd hev place or reform mite go to
blazes.
The grand organizer rose, calmly, Sc
| lected a book from out NV dozen or more
he he'd, and addressed hisself to the first
man who raised shindy.
| I" Yoor name is
" Simpkins."
Yoor county?n
| Posey."
You are down for collector, | see.
! Nv course 700 will hev il"
| And what is fixed former" demanded
| the second
Yoo are to hey the postoffis in your
town. And before we 90 any further we
will settle this matter Nv the ofiises We
arranged 1t with yoor committy at st.
| Loois. ~
Anu hc Icu OUT Il list NV tHc DHlStS III
| the State, and who wuz TO hev EN-. There
wuz some trouble, for they all warnt pro-
| vided for; nor wuZ those witch he'd bin
| provided for alluz satisfied with wat he'd
| bin given EN-. Itwuz all fixed, however, for
in counties witch he'd Dimocratic MAORI
| ties some Nv EN- were promised nomina-
tons, and quite number NV consulships
and small Turin mishens were huv in to
satisfy EN- all.
The next question that come up wuz
how to treet the money question. In
| strucshens wuz asked.
The grand organizer riz to his feet.
"Lemme see,n he sed, "wat State am
in? Oh yes, | remember, Injeany. /
! find by referrin to my instruckshens, that
in Injeany 700 must be ft-money-mod-
ritly in the northern part nv the State, but
rampantly in the extreme southern part,
goin ez fur ez Pendleton did, with a
strong and decided leanin toward repoodi.
ashen Also down ther 700 may sand
witch in ez much NV the niger ez 700 kin
| git in, Eff 700 hev any old banners left
over from former campanes denouncn
niger equality and deprecatin margin
niggers, ii wood be well to trot EN- out
agin. Returnin to the currency, eff any NV
700 shood be called to speek in other
States-wich 700 probably won't be-" he
added, glancin at Their faces-"don't tech
the topic at all till 700 hev consulted the
lokle Committees. BE very keerful about
this. And in other States don't 90 on the
| platform full NV likker, SO CT you shell
not hev yoor memories. Be keerful about
this, fur eff 700 shood make an Inieany
speech in Connecticut ii wood room us
! Il ,ft ,In
after the people hey all gone home. Here
! 700 may do ez 700 please, for | shood sup
| pose the drunken the man wuz the more
F, he wood talk to the satisfaction NV the
/ lnjeany Dimocrisy, but in Connecticut
and Moo York it's different 700 must
! keep sober till after the meetins there"
Nhereupon the speakers all rose ez one
| man and remarked that ef it Wuz all the
same they didn't want to go to Connect
! cut or any NV them beastly States to speek
| They wuz simple sons NV nacher, and de.
| spiSed "A bloated ariStocracy SIGH ez the
grand organizer wuz desCrihin
| Then | rose.
| 'Sir," sed |, with stern and deter
mined look, lone thing more remains.
| Are we TO 20 out like the Apossels without
4 scrip in our purses? That Good be done in
( Joodee, for that climit wuz mild enutf to
[ sleep out doors, and the AposSels didn't
hev whiSkey or tobacker to buy, e2 hev
bin informed. | never saw in any Bible
ever red amy account Nv ther doin' it"
"tV course we can't elect the Crate Re
/ former without money!" eiackilatid an
other. I'm my county | hey 10 import
couple of hundred of patriots who amt nat
eralized, and there are ten or dozen wet
groceries Ia my town who hev 10 be ar.
ranged with, To keep EN- Strate. Besides
one man who hez stone quarry rekires
at least hundred dollars to keep his men
tlte cnutt to bring EN- in solid on eleck-