The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-09-14
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

WAeIc, upon dpptlCdClOu ~ Mayor DaHhS,
they were married, as above stated.-TrOy
Times.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Texas has nine railroads in process OF
construction.
California has the largest lunatic asy-
lum In the world.
Scattered and disconnected ants-the
Stewart claimants.
Would you have your day of judg-
ment come before its time-run fUf Of
fee.
After all, the real emblem of liber.
" isa hight key, and it ought to go on
the flag.
"A September apple, mellow and sweet,
is ahead of any 'eye-opener" as morn
ing appetizer.
Besides pistols and owie-knivcs, the
small-po is undermining human life in
the Black Hills.
-" Inlandish and outlandsh suits al
ways ready" is the announcement of q
Vienna tailor who fancies he knows En-.
glish.
"A Servian girl ten years old gave her
doll to the cause fliberty, and the Servian
cause is therefore doll ar such matter
ahead.
Why is not the frog made an emblem
OF patience? In the limestone region of
Tennessee he sits down and lets the stone
grow over and encase him alive.
-"What do you propose to take for
your cold ~ said a lady to a sncezing gen.
tleman. "Oh, I'll sell it very cheap;
won't higgle about the price at all.'
Dealers in military equipments are
not generally warlike men, and vet, in
making out their bills for regimental out
hts, they never hesitate to charge bayonets.
The man who does not acquire some
article of useful information between day.
break and bedtime must mournfully saw,
with the Roman Emperor, ~ have lost a
day.
The Dutch cure lazy pauper by put
ting him into deep cistern, letting in the
water, and providing him with pump
that, with hard work, will just keep him
from drowning.
Some of the leading life insurance
companies of Hartford, Conn, are said to
be writing only from five to ten new poll
cles daily, the dull times having a terribly
bad effect on the business.
A young man was airing good deal
OF superficial knowledge at a social gath.
ering, the other evening, when Mrs Mala-
prop interrupted the current of his loquac.
ity, and snecringly Observed: The in.
tiammation of some folks is wonderful!'
We are told that For man, love IL
a story; for woman, it is history This
is pretty, but facts are stubborn things,
and it 1OaSnsf do tc oil of
twelve hours-a-d dig for family bread
and butter and her trouble over the baby's
collc.-St. Louis Republican.
"A good thing in times of danger is
presence of mind,' remarked philosoph-
ical party, as he tried to prop up pile of
lumber down on a Chicago dock the other
day. Yes he continued, as he saw it
was bound to tumble, but better thing
is absence Of body" And he got out from
under.
"A scientific writer says every 1nfan,
can say "nO' several months before it
can say Eyes" An old bachelor who has
been rejected seventeen times says this
habit of saying "no'' before she can say
".ycs,' clinSs to the female infant until
after she becomes twenty sevcn years old.
-Norristoacn Herald.
The jury acquits the prisoner, a SER
want girl accused of having poisoned her
employers, and the Judge tells her that
she is free to go, and then adds; 81 want
cook, my good woman; but, ncverthc-
less, l may say that it will hardly be worth
your while to apply for the place, even
with this verdict by way of reference"
"A woman in Covington, KY, sneczcd
so violently the other night that she dislo-
Gated her jaw, and when her husband
came sneaking in about one a. M, she
couldn't say word, but stared at him in
mute helplcssness, and he grinned and
went to bed, pretending not to understand
gestures. The next day all the married
men in Covington We're buying snuff, and
the amazed tobacconists couldn't imagine
what had created such an unusual demand
for the best Scotch snuff.
"A lady tried to drive a fourth hand
at Newport, recently. She grasped the
lines and said she was going to drive them
around. And she did. She drove them
around cluster of bushes; she drove
them around an aquarium designed for
fishes; she drove them around each other,
and ended by standing three horses on top
with the pole in the ground, and herself
on her head. This all in one minute and
fourteen seconds by a -watch-one
that stopped the moment it saw her mix
the reins.
Some genius, who evidently believes
that workmen should be watched, says
"A New Orleans wrecker lately under
took to complete contract in given
found that his divers were making little
progress with the work, and that his con-
tract was in danger of being forfeited.
Procuring diving armor, he descended
on tour of nvestigation, and, having
reached the bottom, found his seven
workmen intently watching seven crabs.
Close examination discovered that the
name of some celebrated horse was in
scribed upon the back of each of the
crustacea, and that they had been matched
for series of races, one of which was in
process at the time. The cause of the de.
lay was explained"
This morning, as a man in the EN-.
ploy of the Government Contractor, was
dumping load of ashes on the common,
he discovered large pile of notes lying in
heap, and, on overhauling them, found
that they were bank notes of various de-
nominations, cut up in small pieces about
an inch in size. 1t seems extraordinary
how the notes came in this state, as it is
evident they were cut by machinery,
some being perfect sphere, about the size
OF twenty-five cent pieces, and others diff.
ferent shapes. There were at least half a
peck of the pieces, and the ques-
ton is, where did they come from? The
notes were apparently of the denomina.
ton of 81 and 81, but there were pieces
that looked as though they might belong
to q United States S.. The entire pile
must have represented thousands of dol.
lars.-Halifar IN. 81 Recorder.
"A curious attempt to commit suicide
by starving is attracting much attention in
Springfield, Mass. Hope Doggett, a
young woman who has been employed as
a clerk in an office at very small salary,
was dischared a week ago last Saturday,
and since that time has eaten nothing ex-
cept two apples on the following Sunday.
She refuses with scorn all offers of char
ity, declaring that she would take money
from the man she used to work for, and
from no other person, but refuses to ask