The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1876-07-01
BUBBLES.
A very narrow aperture-The crack of

A very narrow aperture-The crack of
a whip.
Jones says he drinks whisky as a
soportic and soda as n soberific.
Said she. " Johnny, look over your collar
and hear me say yes"
-Soliloquy of tramp-Ilow melancholy
the moon must feel when it has enjoyed
the fulness Of prosperity, and got reduced
to its last quarter.
On learning the number of revolutions
of the great Corliss engine per minute,
Dom Pedro said: THAT beats our South
American republics.'
-" Woman" said the fat man on the
cracker barrel, retlectively, "woman is like
boil. When another man has her we
laugh at him; when we have her ourself
we cherish and protect her."
An English lady, visiting the Philadel-
phia Exhibition, saw a "Great Sale of Do
mestics " advertised in the paper. " Bless
my cart" said she. "IIi thought they d
Unpublished slavery ERE you know"
-" If there is anybody under the canister
OF heaven that have in utter eXcrescence,"
says Mrs, Darlington, /" it is the slanderer,
going about like boy constructor, circu-
lating his calomel upon honest folks"
-" No man was better inoculated to
PREJUDICE pork than my husband was,
says Mrs. Partington; she knowed what
good hogs were, he did, for he had been
brought up with EN- from his childhood"
Quick" Wit!-Young Smith: ''Rath-
er sudden that about Jones, isn't it?-
Died at six O'Clock this morning" Old
Brown: "Good gracious, you don't say so?
Why, l met him only last night and-and
and he was alive them
Olive Logan thus describes Lotta's hair
&c 1t is of red the most glorious; bright,
beautiful red; not tinge of yellow in it
all red, red, almost cherry red" From
this description it is reasonable to infer
that Lotta's hair is sort o. red
-" l never could enjoy poetry when Pm
cookin," said an old lady who dropped in
on US recently. "But when | step out to
feed the hogs and hist myself onto the
fence, and throw my soul into a few lines
of 'Capt'n Jenks,' it does seem as if this
airth was made to live on after all"
The chief result of having the street
lamps lighted these summer evenings is
that most of our young men who han
over other peoples front gates nights are
getting cross-eyed, as they are obliged to
keep one eye on the light to see who passes,
and attend to business with the other.
That Norwich man vino courted his
wife fifty years before he married her was
a prudent fellow. Fifty years takes the
strength out of most any arm, and makes
it inconvenient for a woman to get down
on her knees to urge the head of the house
to come out from under the bed and talk
the matter over.
1t seems that baseball is an old He
brew game, as solomon refers to the pitcher
being broken at the fountain. The fact OF
its being broken shows that the old Jewish
players were much like those of the present
day, though it is difficult to understand
what he was doing at the fountain, unless
all the lager bier shops were shut up.
TIE IDEAL AND THE REAL.
-"Only lock of golden hair
The lover sighed. "Perchance to night
1t formeth on her pillow fair
halo bright"
"Only lock of golden hair,''
The maiden, smiling sweetly, said,
AS she laid it over the back of chair
And went to bed.
"A lady was told the other day by q
travelling gentleman, that every lady who
had small mouth was provided with g
husband by the Government. 9th il
pothible ," said the lady, making hel
month as little as she could. The gen
tleman added, that elf she had a large
mouth, she was provided with two hus
bands.' "My gracious" exclaimed the
lady, at the same time throwing he
mouth open to its full extent. The ger
tleman became alarmed, made his escape,
and has not been heard of since