, 1876-03-12

ayers, Z. s. Albro and ]. ". Farliu. The repol
was adopted. Il will be aeen that there is Z
change in the officers from last year. with tt
exception Of E. S. A1bFo in the place of gentl,
man who is necessarily absent from the ci,
about half Of his time. Tho balloting TAKE
place Monday, the Goth inst, in tho Aasocistio
1eading-rooms, and the polls will bo open a
day. as has been the custom in years pas
another ticket will probably be placed in til
field.
Theatrical 1utsligence-At tho St. Louis Or
era-Aouse last week .'Robinson Crusoe" vi
produced before d large and fashionable a.
dicnce. All went smoothly till the scene whe1
trusoe is 80 agitated at discovering footprir
On tue beach of his island. Tho actor who va
Sustaining the part OF Cs7tsoe Was somewhs
short-sighted and inadvertently walked into til
footprint at its deepest pa1t-the heel Amid
scene of indescribable horror be was lifted fron
the yavning chasm 3 fearfully ma ngled corpse
| The footprint had been accurately modelled fron
the foot Of QUO OF thu most peerless bellies Of th
] city. To prevent further accidents the manage
has had the abyss tllled up with $40 loads
| earti1.
| A tall woman With q wart on her nose called
! 1t the office OF The CHICAGO TRIBUNE yesterda.
and desired to have her paper stopped. She saie
she had taken it for nigh upon three months
| now, and there hadn't been but ono death notice
| Of anybody she knew, and then the uotlca sale
"aged 81, when everybody with an ounce oi
! for all her false teeth and paint. She desired
| no longer to patrousze 4 newspaper which dis.
| played no moro enterprise IN finding out the
news of the day in which its readers took dead
ly interest, ard whose reporters could 80 easily
be persuaded to disseminate false intelligeuce
concerning the aye of come women who couldn't
be persuaded to tell the truth even when they
we're lying corpse before you.
4 little boy mp in Evanston had been reading
the current literatnrs OF the day, and when the
teacher called him up to recate 1esson he didn't
know objected to going before council Of
wolves and foxes. Then the teacher asked him
il knew his lesson, aud lie said he did, but OBJ
jected TO- giving names dates, and facts con-
uected With it. Then the teacher challenged
him in the presence Of ali the holy angels to tell
all be knew about it, and he said TINT If the teach
er would retire into an adjacent room with him,
aud pledge himself to secrecy. he would disclose
all tho facta- The tesches accepted this propo-
sltion and WAS heard to observe, as be retired to
hold the mutual Advisory Council. that he'd
show him this vasn's Plymouth Church. What
transp1red is, Of coarse, profound secret bus 1t
is known that the teacher .oa his 1eappearance
looked as if he had been taking violent exercise,
aud the boz, whose eyes we're filled with tears
OF emotion, didn't pnt moro than quarter OF
himself on the bench when he had OCCASION to
Sit down.
The funeral Of the late AID Patrick McClory
took place from the Church Of the Sacred Heart
yesterday morning. The Aldermen, other city
sad county officials, and the hsads OF the vari-
Gus Departments met at o'clock in tho Council
chamber and proceeded in carriages to the resi-
dence OF the deceAaed, No. 6S3 Centre av-
enue. Thence they escorted the remains
to tho church, On the. corner Of Nine
teenth and John streets, where grand
solemn high mass YVES celebrated in honor Of the
deceased The funeral servics followed, COM
prislng an oalogy Of the late Alderman az
churchman and \ citizen. The large auditorium
mas denaely crowded with officials Of all stations
aud many personal friends of the deceased. At
aud Aldermen and city officials taxing the lead.
followed By the palEbearers aud hea1se. preceded
By platoon OF police under command Of Sergt.
alalick Vesey. The 10 o'clock train for Calvary
Was taken and the remains Of the lamentad
official WAS placed in the vault. The funeral ar
were perfect, and everything went
of az smooshly as could be expected in such
rast crowd.
To21AS's RE1R1BUT1os.
The patient wrath and vigll long OF her treas
Tres up 3 wrong have become p.ovetblal- Two !
Iears ago widow with 4 will Of her own reHid- !
n the flour and feed line SINCE then she has !
maintained an eaGer match for the deInder, and |
morning she thought that she recog- |
lized hum IN wasfsring man on Clark street. t
,he hailed him to STOP but he percipitately took |
o flight. She followed him and overlook him.
0 call man.. lifted his hand against
tet not in tho waF OF Kindness aud |
Knocked her down. She recovered her
ooting, and renewed the chase. finally |
Tertak5ns the victim up near the freight sheds,
him in double combat and br1ng-
ng him to the earth. Now" she painted,
'roddipg him with her parasol in the pit of bis
tonach, - who kissed me outn the front stoop
nd called me his own poossey-wootsey, and
aid he'd come back next day with q ring and
nh WA1 S{a al fEr |
nd made NE send our for can Of oysters and
orrowed 10 cents to pay his car-fare, because
"a bad left his purse on tho piano in the wood
bed, eh :" and she pulled out enough OF his
air to build switch With. WHO pretended
9 rolled ia the lap Of wealth be-
des having 3 commission On axle-g1ease,
b ?" and she tore some chunks
ut OF him. By this time q policeman, observ-
Ig that ell danger was over, approached the
:ena OF action and inquired What was the mat
ade every married man in the crowd turn pale;
why, arson's the matter, and breach of prom
e, and Obtaining car-fare Under false pretences, !
ID ragrancy," and She got of the victims head
I which she Was sitting, and discovered that he |
Is not the man. She WAS horror-stricken 1T !
% discovery. but speedily recovered her pres
ice Of mind, and remarkiug that mistakes
on1d happen in the best-fognlated families, /
[ded that she owed him an apology, and il he
oufd accept che would marty him. He hastily
aulutle0 ul6 LuauhE. 6u0s saying ue WOuIQ
ink over it, departed With such velocity that q !
n good game Of billiards might have been |
ayed on the coat-tail that she hadn't torn Off.
NEW COOPERATIVE ENTERPRISE. Il
The principle OF corporation has been suc-
ssfusly applied over On the West Side to 3 I
oblem in which all elderly women are inter- {
ted. 4 humber OF ladies residing in various :
;alities on the West Side have formed
Association for the Discovery Of Corpses !
heneyer one member finds cut that somebody
s died in her vicinity, she promptly sends in :
Ematlon OF the fact to the other slstera OF tho ]
afrsrernity, and they all throw on thel1 ]
,unnite," and go and view the remains with
. morbid satisfaction that exists eternal in
, female breast. Afterwards the members Of |
! Association meet for tea at the house of the
,mbcr discovering the body, aud SAVIOR the
npie meal with such details as they may haye T
tained or been able to imagine concerning the =
ceased, such as the particulars Of his or her y
81 illness; whether the remote cause was 9
r husbands coldneas OF cruelty; how the 4
1ow takes it. and whether it is true s.
It for two months before the poor !.
MS death she had been setting her cap for - -
. Maclepin; when the funeral Til! be-; it the l
lower is marrying man what his house. q
eper looks like; whether the children seemed g.
J much neglected anu:the house looked like n
ft,an 1oi1 tfn haJ, |