Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-06-08
A Story of Love and Limburger.

SOME months ago, a youth Of this or
some other city took fancy to maiden
fair, and began to be polite to her. He
met her when he could at parties and that
sort Of things, and occasionally he called
to see her at home. She liked the young
man, and smiled sweetly when his name
was mentioned. He was Augustus, and
she was Mary Jane. Augustus wasn't
worth a cent financially, but he had 9, cap
ital of hope that surpassed the treasure Of
the Fourth National Bank.
Mary Jane had father whose name was
Jones. He didn't fancy Augustus, and
didn't like to have him spooning around
Mary Jane. But he was shrewd and
sensible old duffer, and he knew, if he
raised his voice in opposition, that Mary
James liking would be strengthened into
regular red hot, diamond pin, f1at-footed
love. So he kept still and pondered, and
then he hit on plan to smash the
courtship of Augustus into smithereens.
A. the boarding house where Augustus
lived, there lived also two youths of his
age and sex, who were as full of mischief
as caucus is of seekers for office So
Papa Jones went to them and unfolded his
plans, and offered them ten dollars apiece
to bring it to successful end. Within a
week they had the money, and this is how
they earned it:
Augustus was to call on his Mary Jane
that evening, so of course he put on his
best clothes for the occasion. Haitian
hour before he went to his room to dress
his friends went there and took his best
coat from the wardrobe. They ripped
open the lining between the shoulders and
put inside a couple of very thin slices of
Limburger cheese. You know what that
is if you have any familiarity with Ger
man beer-halls.
Augustus dressed and started for old
Jones' house. He changed his seat two
or three times in the street-car, and, when
he reached the doorstep, he turned again
and again, like a dog about to lie down.
but twas no use.
He usually occupied seat on the sofa,
at Mary James side; but that evening she
was 1HClinCu W tightly, anu OCCuplCu oil
armchair a couple of yards away. She
went twice out of the room to dip her
handkerchief in Cologne water, and the
second time she brought the bottle and
offered some to Augustus.
After he had gone home and changed
his clothes, one of the boys took him out
to walk, while the other restored the coat
to its former condition. He examined it
very carefully before he went to bed, and
naturally di scovered nothing wrong, ex-
cept the scent of the roses which fingered
there STILL
But when, three evenings later, he again
visited Mary Jane, the trick was repeated.
Old Jones had taken care to hide the
Cologne-wa and everything else of that
character, so that the offense of the Linn
burger could not be condoned. The fair
maiden stood it for half an hour, then she
tainted and called for the old folks. She
was borne to her room, and Augustus was
sent home Next morning he received a
highly perfumed note white rose was the
odor it e1haled), which told him that for
the future they had better be friends only;
and, the next time she met him, she hoped
it would be in the open air, and she would
try to keep to Observation-Disclosures
Cor. Chicago Tribune