The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-01-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

"A bootless distributing on ones
socks.
"A very unsatisfactory sort of bread
The roll Of fame.
When man has nothing else to tax
he taxes his resources.
The increase of population in Kansas
since 1870 is 46 per cent.
"A man in Louisiana boasts of cat
which is twentY-one years old.
"A young woman who was "drven TO
distraction" now fears that she will have
to walk back.
Are your words of more weight
when you PROFOUND anything than when
you announce it?
When man drinks himself to death
in Charleston, 8. c., they call it death
from natural causes"
Sally Verb is the name of a Kansas
girl married the other day. AS she was a
verb she was not to bc declined.
Twenty thousand books have been
stolen from the San Francisco Library
within year. San Francisco thieves are
great readers.
-" Do you love me still, John?" whis-
pered a sensitive wife to her husband
"Of course Edo. The stiller the better!"
answered the stupid husband. 81.
Trying. to do business without ad-
vertising is like winking at pretty girl
in, the dark; you may know what YOU
arc doing, but nobody else does.-N. Y.
Express. 80
"A Paris barber, who died recently,
left $2,OO0,0O0. 1t is related of him that
he never told customer that his hair
ought to be trimmed or that he needed a
shampoo. .s;,s
--Spilkins says that all the pcrils and
horrors of maelstrom aren't a circum-
stance to the horrors of hearing female
strom on the piano, next door, from
morning till night.
1T is said that deer are unusually
plenty in the woods of Hamilton County,
N. Y. They are found to be in very good
condition, in consequence Of the great
abundance Of beech-nuts, upon which they
feed. ..
-" My son." said stern parent to a
seven-year- old hopeful, 81 must discipline
you; your teacher says that you are the
worst boy in school," "Well, papa, only
yesterday she said I was Just like my
father" was the reply.
"A man in New Hampshire had the
misfortune recently to lose his. wife.
Over the grave he caused stone to be
placed, on which, in the depth of his
grief, he had ordered to be inscribed:
Tears cannot restore her-therefore l
weep"
The Khedive of Egypt has given En-
gland to understand that he is quite CON-
petent to manage his own finances. The
swarthy royalist did, to be sure, evince a
remarkable business tact In negotiating,
recently, the sale of some canal bonds
which were depreciating on his hands.
The Duke of Cambridge, in the course
of speech the other day said that the
cost Of the eighty-one-ton gun. would be
about els 600, and every shot fred from
it will cost e25. At this rate war is be.
coming luxury which impecunious ma
tons will find it difficult to indulgein.
There seems to be much suffering
this winter among the genteel poverty
stricken women in Washington. A few
days ago two ladies, descendants of three
of the most. distinguished men whose
names are interviewer with the history of
this country, were turned out of their
home in that city for non payment Of rent.
A German tailor, at Des Moines has
invented . curious sort Of piano, the ham,
mer of which strikes bells instead OF
strings. There are in this piano sixty-six
bells varying from two inches to thirteen
inches in diameter, an 80 adjusted that
each bell shall give its perfect tone in
response to the touch of the performers
hand on the keyboard. s'S-
An 1rishman was brought up beforea
Justice Of the Peace on charge of va
grancy, and was thus questioned: What
trade are your" Sure, now, your Hon.
or, I'm sailorr, - You are q seafarinr
man! lquestion whether you have ever