The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-01-27
WHOLE NO. 1897.
MisceIlaneous

II rocks ever bled. they would bleed
quartz.
Il must make prisoner raven mad 10
be called jAil-bird.
Comfortable quArtsrs-lwsnty.iive cent
pieces.
II you wiah 10 enjoy constitutional libor.
~. don't wear pull-back dress
Why is the letter q the handiesi In the
alphabet Because when Il Il In use , ou
always find it before u.
-Four Wild pigeons and soventy-6vs
men with guns passed North, Saturday
afternoon.
Surprising power OF cndurance-a oAs.
tlodroyer who had one ear cut of By the
Indians, got up and walked of on the
other one
Economy ia beginning 20 prevail again.
AZ funeral, Saturday. nine men appear
sd with unblackcd boot heels
contontmoni IL said 10 be better than
riches bat the latter is good enough for
20 writer
II young ladies wish 10 get stout lhoy
should eat their food slowly Haste does
not make waist In such cases
An Ohio boy swallowed four or Eve Of
the wheels Of an eight-day clock. and he
has kept the whole family running ov-
er since.
When they catch a man gathering Dol.
aware peaches at midnight they preserve
whatever good traits he has In him by
shooting half pint Of salt into his leg.
II wo had cheap telegraph rates a Per.
son living In Detroit could. for ffiaon
cents. telegraph his mothcr.in-law In New
York not 10 eome-family got tho small.
pox.
The best and oldest advertising medi.
um-an old maids sewing circle.
II you have a favor 10 ask Of a man,
now be sure and shut the door after you
when you 80 into his Office.
Nothing Of tho kind is approhonded Al
present. but " Mrs Twain should be
called away wc hope that she will leave
her mark In the world.
They're 10 have an Educational display
al the Centennial. 10 be sure. But Isn't
u bad 10 have Il In the neiFhborhood Of
the schoolkill1
II the mosquito who left our noae in
such a hurry that no forgot his bill. viii
call, he can have IL, and no questions
will be asked.
A Kentucky editor tells another that
II his head were a. red az bis nose. he
would remind one Of bowlegesd carrot
surmounied by a cockAdo
We found large package Of genuine
greenbacks the other night. but before
we had = chance 20 invest them In a new
press we-awoke.
A 81 Louis dog goes about the streets
gathering cigar stumpa, which u carries
home 10 ita master. IL was q poor edi-
tor who owned this specimen Of eigAroi-
ty.
IL IL said that the PHILADELPHIA oonfcc.
tioner who advertised Centennial Kias.
es' can't sell any. They are too old.
The l6-ials arc preferred By men Of
taste.
woman IL very like a kettle. u you
come 10 think Of u Sec sings away 10
pleaaantly-thcn she atopa-and, when
you least expect u, she boils over
The irst step towards wealth. says an
exchange, is the choice Of a good wife.
And the first step towards securing a
wife is tho possession Of good wealth.
II people believe money is scarce. just
let them stand around for q while and
hear a pair Of prize fighters discuss their
relative abilities.
Helmbold has been released from The
insane asylum. Il having been proved
hat ho did not, a. charged, attempt 10
pay an advertising account
The afflicted editors Of Fort Wayne.
Ind. have induced judge 70 declare In.
lano and commit 10 the lunatio asylum
nan with an ungovernablo Pcnehant for
writing poetry.
An Albanian, who loat a hat on
James Buchanan's election. paid the wa,
ter last week. The returns must have
'ome In very slowly last week. The re-
iurns must have come In very slowly In
Alabama.
Ode 10 my landlady-two weeks board
,ill.-Er. Yes. She under atanEa Joke
,f that kind. and that's Why you're a
Terse 10 meter, We suppose
Somebody says that = single swallow
Till devour 9. 900 flies day. but We don't
believe IL. An elephant could hardly ab-
Iorb that many At a single swallow.
A Baltimore servant girl the other
tried that good old time-honor-
d plan Of lighting the kitchen fre with
kerosene Nothing has benzins OF her
Iince.
The three wonders OF the world At
present are How huH accumulAtes Ia
rest pockets. where the pins so 10. and
shy when q man comes out Of = saloon
10 looks one way and goes another.
A town In New York has the singular
iame Of Busti And a number Of New
York banking firms have won = neAFly
imilar name within the Last few weeks.
iome Buati and Others bust" low.
MY articles do not receive a very
warm reception Of late" "Our fair cor.
cspondcni is mistaken" replied the edi-
or they receive the warmcat reception
,ossible. We burn them All"
A London dentists circular says that.
Is q general thing. only men Of culture
10 into the tooth-drawing profession.
II them are not men of gentle cxtrac.
ion.
You never saw my hands AZ dirty a.
said q mother rcproachfully yea
erday 10 her little eight year old girl.
Cause / never see you when you was
title girl, was the prompt answer.
An Indiana man said 10 = Bible agent
I'm a Christian. but I'll be blamed N I
ion't have 10 grit my teeth When the