St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-06-30
Sense and Nonsense.

The difference between AN overcoat
and Il baby is: one you was and the
other you Wear.
| What is the difference between one
who walks and one who looks up flight
of stairs ?-One steps up stairs, and the
other states up steps.
\ country editor is responsible for
the suggestion that in this degenerate.
Age 1t would be we'll to have church
wardrnS and leacons each provided with
bell-punch when they pass around
the contribution boxes.
In Philadelphia they have handker-
chiefs with the Declaration of indie
pcndence printed on them in French,
German and English, so that one can
now blow his nose in three languages
i'll the Quaker City.
"Why is it, my dear sir" said Watfies
landladN t" him the other day, that
YOU new >papcr men never get Iich :"
Il ii" not know. WAS his reply, "ex-
rcpt it is that dollars and sense do not
always travel together"
Josh Billings writes that '.Philoso-
pliers aul agree that the milk is put in
l." the kokernut, and the hole is neatly
plugged up; but who the tcller is who
duz it, the philosophers are honest
enough, for Il wonder, to admit they
cant tell uS".
| Morton McMiclael wishes us to call
the Exhibition "Woudrous FAIR"
Why not Passing Fair ," New York
GrdPhic. That's so; why NOT ? Iou
| pass the fare when Nou enter, and keep
passing the fair" after You are in
| NorriStOTn HeiuLd.
"Mamma, asked Il precocious youngs-
/ ten at the tea table the other evening.
alter Il long and yealung gaze toward
plate of doughnuts. Mamma do Won
think ! could stand another of those
fried holes. She thought he could.
At Il recent exhibition of paintings, Il
lady and her son were regarding with
much interest Il picture which the cata-
! l"gue designated as "Luther at the Diet
! length an its merits, the boy remarked,
"Mothrr. | see Luther and the table.
but where are the worms ~
/ Master (snitiing): .'There's Il most ex-
iraordinary smell, james. I've noticed
1t several -" Hall Porter: Il don't
wonder at it, sir. Fvc spoke about it
down staiIs. The butler. sir, You see,
Is Ugh church, which he as tit up IA
h"rat"ry III the pantry, and burns hin
rcnSe. We could stand that: but the
cook is the low church, persuasion, and
she burns brown paper to hobviatr the
lIncense. It's perfectly lawful on saints
days, sir - Punch.
Papa, me has been baptized, amt
me asked IL little three-Nears old.
''leS, dear" Then me won't have to
he baptized again - No: but can
Nou remember anything about being
baptized" Il dcss tan" well, what
did the minister do to YOU p ..Iie shoy-
rd my up sleeve, and stuck knife in
my ann"
At this season the question which in
tcrc>ts Il hoy is not so much whether
his life will he crowned with glory and
honor, as whether his new summer vest
is going to he made out of his fathers
old trousers. NOruich Bulletin.
Signor Blitz had Il bright little fellow
on the stand to assist him in the ..ex-
pertinent" "Sir," said the Signor, ..do
N"n think could put the csins which
that lady holds into your coat pocket ?"
NO, said the boy, confidently. Think
not = Il know You couldn't" said the
little fellow, with great tirmness. "Why
not y cause the pscket is all torn
out"
Hi" said Pat to Il stranger who was
passing, where did YOU get them trou-
sers see they are too short for you.r
Il got them where they grew" was the
smrly reply. "An 10y me conscience
said Pat, IL think We pulled them one
year too soOnn