The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-11-08
MISCELLANY.
the nFFEcr OF rmAeINAr1oN.

THE EBEECT OF TMAGINATlON.
He slipped into an ice-cream saloon very
softly, and when the girl asked him what he
wanted he replied
81 Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles, and
mince- pie"
This ispot restaurant this is an ice
cream parlor, !" she said.
Then why did you ask me what wanted
for? Why didn't You bring ON your ice
cream"
She went after it, and rs she returned he
continued:
g You see my dear girl, YOU must infer
you must reason. 1t isn't likely that / would
come to an ice-cream saloon to buy grind
stone, is it? You didn't think / came in here
to ask if you had any baled hay, did you?'
She looked at him in great surprise, and he
went on:
eff owned hardware store and you
came in, / would infer that you came for
something in my line. | wouldn't step out
and ask you if you wanted to buy a mule,
would II"
She went away highly indignant. An old
lady was devouriDg dish of cream at the
next table, and the stranger, after watching
her moment called out
"My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish?"
ssMercy no. !" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
swell, I'm glad of it" he continued. :" If
you find any let me know"
She looked at him half minute, picked up
the spoon, laid it down again, and then rose
up and left the room. She must have said
something to the proprietor, for he came run
ming in and exclaimed
" Did you tell that woman that there were
hairs and buttons in my ice cream?"
s'No, SIR"
"You didn't?"
"No, sir, I did not I merely requested her,
in case she found any such ingredients, to in
form me.''
"Well, sir, that was mean trick"
my dear SIR" said the stranger, smiling
softly, sdid you expect me to ask the woman
if she found a crow-bar or sledge-hammer
in her cream? 1t is impossible, sir, for such
articles to be hidden away in such small
dishes.''
The proprietor went away growing, and as
the stranger quietly siped away at his cream,
two young ladies came in, sat down near him
and ordered cream and cakes He waited un-
til they had eaten little, and then he remark
cd:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you observe |
anything peculiar in the taste Of this cream ?''
They tasted, smacked their lips, and were
not certain.
"Does it taste to You as if plug of tobac-
CO had fallen into the freezer?" he asked.
"Ah kah - they exclaimed, dropping |
their spoons and trying to spit out what they |
had eaten. Both rushed out and it wasn't
long before the proprietor rushed in.
See, here, what in blazes are you talking
about?' he demanded, "What do you mean
by plug of tobacco in the frcezer?"
sMy kind friend, I asked the ladies il the
cream tasted of plug tobacco. don't taste
any such taste, and don't bellows you used
bit of tobacco in it,
Well, we don't want you TO talk that
way round here continued the proprietor.
any ice-cream is pure and the man who says
it amt tells bold lie."
He went away again, and a woman with q
long neck and a sad face sat down and said to
the girl that she would take small dish of
lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken about
two mouthfnls when the stranger inquired.
g Excuse me, madam, but do you know how
this cream was made--have you an idea that
they lave grated turnip and chalk with the
cream ?o
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up
wheeled around and made for the door.
The stranger followed after, and by great
good luck his coat tails cleared the door an
instant too soon to be struck by fiye-pound
box of figs, hurled with great force by the in
dignant proprietor. As he reached the curb
stone he halted, looked at the door of the par
lor, and soliloquized:
There are times when people should infer,
and there are times when they shouldn't. /
suppose if had asked that woman If she
thought they hashed up saw-mill in the
cream she'd have felt circular saw going
down her throat. Detroit Free Press.
You mustn't expect your children to be
better than you are yourself. You can. ask
nothing more of them than to learn the les i
sons you set them. "Why do you'walk SO
crooked child !? y said one old grub to young
one. Show me how to walk straight and l