The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-12-22
VARIETIES.

woman said when she got married after a
thirteen years courtship.
Call the next baby Elaine, after Ten.
nyson's heroine. Then when she is cross
call her the Madelaine.
This is spanking fine vinegar, said
John Henry. Ought to be spanking, said
young hopeful, there mother in it.
"A fast youth asked at city restau.
rant: "What have you got n.
almost everything" was the reply.
Almost everything Well, give me q
plate of that"
Certainly. Hash !" yelled the waiter.
Nearly every country has its own mode
of celebrating Christmas. In Italy feast.
ing and singing is the order of the day
and, as the shades of night fall upon their
lovely towns, numbers of musicians 90
forth to celebrate the one who has most
merited their esteem and appreciation dur
ing the past year.
-"Clarence, you've got real kind
heart" gratefully observed young lady
on the cars to sallow- faced youth, as he
dropped prize-package of popcorn in
her lap.
Yes, Mary, my hearts all right" he
sadly replied; "what want is a new liv-
er!"
The force of emphasis in giving mean
ing to a sentence is well illustrated by the
brief colloquy which was overheard the
other day between two persons:
do you imagine me a scoundrcl sir ~
demanded one Indignantly.
NO. was the reply, 81 do not imagine
you to be one"
-" Ours."-An English coachman (on
being told by his lordship that he will not
want to drive out to-day: swell, me
lord, then perhaps had better take our
children out ?" His lordship: Now
johnson, look here; don't mind you say
ing our carriage, our 'orses, or 'ouse but
must draw the line-and draw it at our
children.
One night we were sitting out of doors
in the moonlight, unusually silent-almost
sad. Suddenly some one-a poetic look
ing man, with gentle, lovely face said in a
low tone, )" Did you ever think of the beau
tlul lesson the stars teach us ~ We gave
a vague, oppreciative murmur; but some
How to wink - he answered in sad,
sweet voice.
Two young attorneys were wrangling
before Judge Knox of Virginia yesterday
over a point of law. His honor rendered
his decision, ana the sprig who had lost
impudently remarked: Your honor there
is II growing opinion that all the fools are
not dead yet" Certainly" answered
the court, with unruffled goodEhumor, |
quite agree with you Mr.. Blank, and con-
gratulate you upon your healthy appear
ance. GOl1 Hill Ne,cs.
Yesterday prisoner, unrepresented
by counsel, was in the dock, charged with
misdemeanor. After the complaining
witness had given his testimony, the Judge
asked the prisoner il he wished to question
the witness. What shall ! ask him r.
inquired the prisoner. you may ask any.
thing you like" "Then, with your Hon
or's permission, said the prisoner, II will
ask the witness to lend me five dollars y
San francisco Californian.
60 Take care of the pennies" Look
we'll to your spending. No matter what
comes in, if more goes out you will he al
money but in keeping it, Little expenses.
like mice in barn, when they are many,
make great waste. Hair by hair heads get
bald; straw by straw the thatch goes off
the cottage, and drop by drop the rain
comes into the chamber. A barrel is soon
empty if the tap leaks but drop a min
ute. When you mean to save begin with
your mouth; many thieves pass down the
red lane. The nle jug is II great waste.
In all other things keep within compass.
Never stretch your legs further than your
blankets will reach or you will soon be
cold. In clothes choose suitable and last
ing stuff, and not tawdry fineries To be
warm is the main thing, never mind the
looks. A fool may make money, but it
needs wise man to spend it. Remember
it is easier to build two chimneys than to
keep one going. If you give all to back
and board there is nothing left for the saw
ings bank. Fare hard and work hard
when you are young and you will have a
chance to rest when you are old.