Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
WHOLE NO. $50.
Cleaning.
Common cents-pennies.
A coat of male-An Ulster.

QealcTS.
A lofty position-The top of an edi-
torial staff
A bad place for the sons of Ham
Friar's Point
=. Where to look for an eager crowd-At
a darkey auction.
A grace subject to discuss in Montreal
the Guibord case
When is man not man? When he
makes goose of himself.
What is the best.thing to hold when you
get cut of temper? Your tongue.
Why Is making love like studying law?
Because it's making ready for counting.
| Either trouble or happiness borrowed
| from the future is apt to prove fallacious.
| The man who tried to borrow an UNI
brella was given to understand that it was
Lent.
Cream -colored chip haps, trimmed with
straw berries, are in the fashionable fu-
ture
"Oh, mammal" said the youngest dar-
ling, yesterday, II tried to read, and
rode"
Out of 10000 women in China not
more than a few thousand can read or
write.
What letter of the alphabet, if lost,
would soon make you sick of music? The
letter NJ.
The boy who was kicked out of time
by gun, said he fired and fell back in
good order.
Chicago bankrupts are much annoyed
by letters from people who have fast trot-
tiers for sale.
Charging pretty girl penny for eros
sing bridge is rather quiet way OF toll
ling the belle.
1t is said that when girl is born in In
diana the unhappy father begins to save
money to buy piano.
The wife of Don Carlos has returned
to Pan-the same as the wives OF worth
less husbands usually do.
Why is a mad bull an animal of con-
vivial disposition? Because he offers
horn to every one lie meets. 81.
The cable says that the Montana has
her forecastlc deck stove in. That must
make it warm for the occupants.
"Sambo, dis am a magnificent day for
de race" "What race, Sambos" "Why
the cul!ud race, you stupid Nigga"
Glasgow claims to be the second city in
the British Isles. 1t has population Of
547, ,59S, against the 473, 4O5 of Liverpool.
The Patent Office at Washington during
its business hours, last year, granted pat
ents at the rate of one every twelve min
utes.
When musical programme contains
number of very heavy pieces, is it any
wonder that it's hard work to carry it
out?
At Memphis, the other day, Beecher
sold for ST, Tilton brought $13, and Mrs.
Tilton brought only IS. They were wax
figures.
A young lady asked a bookstore clerk,
the other day, if he had Festus." No."
replied the clerk, but I'm afraid boil
is coming on the back of my neck"
A youth called at the Vest Ala6amian
office one day, and, after watching them
set type awhile, said to one of the typos:
" You use heap O. four-penny nails"
"You are brilliant and versatile bou-
quet of loveliness," he said, with voice
that was low and soft, and in return she
warbled, Dry up, George, you've SAID
enough"
Mr.. Seth Green protests against the
wholesale slaughter of the sea-lions in
San Francisco bay. He says the whole
of them do not destroy as many fish as
one Chinaman.
"Ma,n observed Blobo's little child re.
nectively the other night as the first stars
came out, "dont you think that when
those stars twinkle that they must tickle
the angels feet?"
An advertisement reads. "When you
travel, take the Pan Handle Route. Many
a man has been utterly routed by pam
handle-with mad and lively woman
having hold of it.
They have got a boy in Bipghampton
five years old, who is physically perfect,
healthy, talks distinctly, is very active,
and weighs only nine pounds. He is
twenty-three inches high.
| Exclusive of the metropolis, there are
no fewer than 912, ,S36 owners of land in
England and Wales, of whom 269, SAT are
owners of upward of an acre, the others
holding less than an acre.
Now that neighboring grocer sends his
boy around every day to get paper to
wrap up old cheese in, there is not so
much objection as there was to our friends
sending in original poetry.
A Tennessee girl, riding on the cars,
crossed the aisle, kicked o young man up
against the window, and remarked: "I
was brung up never to allow yaller-
eyed man to wink at me-"
Wendell Phillips speaks of the Vene-
tians using paper money. Doubtless O.
MeHo had just received his pay in that
currency when he exclaimed: HE who
steals my purse steals trash"
| The cook wants to know why the sun
Is like a good loaf of breads Because it's
| light when it rises.-Boston Post. Yes,
and what's more, it's all in the y-East.-
| ". Y. Commercial Adpertiser.
A wood chopper in San Jose, CAL,
! found in the heart of a redwood tree, ten
feet in diameter, twelve perfect acorns.
The explanation is that the wind deposit,
ed the acorns three centuries ago when
the tree was young and tender.
Anna Connect, pretty girl over in New
Jersey, was acquitted of the charge of
burglary, whereupon she threw her arms
around the Judges neck and kissed him.
And now all the married lawyers around
Plaintield are candidates for Judge.
Scene A butchers stand. Butcher.
Come, John, be lively now; break the
bones in Mr.. Williams chops and put Mr..
Smiths ibis in the basket for him"
John (briskly): "All right, sir; just as
soon as I've sawed off Mrs Murphy's
leg"
The longevity of English Physicians is
illustrated by the fact that the London
Medical Times and Gazette has selected
at random from the annual neurology
Just one dozen whose united ages
amounted to 1,075 years, giving an aver
age of elghty-ninc years and seven months
to each"
He was smoking cigar ON car where
there were ladies. A lady took out her