New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1876-01-02

The Thermometer Man.
Eawaa a way-worn man from the East,
and he had thirty seven Thermometers M
basket on his arm. After stsndlng on tno
street corners for two OF three noul r. WILL VIII
ont making sale, he started for the easy
ern part Of the city, hoping to DO oetter
among the private houses. He seemed 70
ro;n Confidence from the cheerful lOOk OF
tha dwellines. and he bore himself like Q
banker as he assembled the steps ana Polleo
| q door-bell.
'n 81 - am not soliciting for the poor-I am
selling thermometers" he replied IN oal"y
"Don't want any-bought our stock IN the
fall. )" she said, drawing in her head.
ii said Thermometers, madam, No caiie~
in q despairing voice: ,.+o-
ble, we can use," she called back, ana inc
door struck his toes.
Going into the saloon on the corner, the
man addressed the proprietor Win q Sweep
smile, asking:
"Would you like Thermometer .o-ust'
"Rv de- pushell" inquired the salOonIst.
..NoNa thermometer-a little instrument
for telling YOU when it is cold or warm.
aAnv music box in it!' inquired the sa-
lOOnist.
mo: it records the weather"
"What wedderP
"Why, the weather we nave every uay
in the year, When it is warm this litt!e
bulb runs up; when it is cold IL SILKS
down."
goat of: when it ish gold but more goal IN
der stoaf. Go und sell dat to some schmau
poy as knows holdings +"
waaver,s. and a bow backed man nodded
kindly and cordially welcomed him.
"Accurate thermometers for only twenty
five cents" said the peddler as no held one
"New thingw asked the weaver as he
took one in his hand.
1--WE have had thermometers for many
years. People have come to consider them
q household necessity"
"Zero9 Zero9 Who was Zero :" asked
the weaver, reading the word Denlno the
glass.
The thermometer man explained, and the
weaver; after trying to get his tnumo nan
under the glass asked: -,
"Where does the blamed thing opens"
"Thermometers are not meant to open,
my friend" was the reply.
'Well, don't want no Thermometer
around me that want open" growled the
weaver. Il thought it was q new kind OF
stOve-handle when you came In, OF L
shouldn't have looked at il"
The thermometer man next tried dwell
ing house. In answer to his ring the door
was instantly and swiftly opened by red
faced woman, who hit him with club and
cried out:
"I1l learn you, you young villain"
She apologized and explained that several
bad boys had been ringing the door-beu,
and he forgave her and said:
81 have some accurate and handsome
thermometers here. Would you
1--WE never have hash for breakfast" she
interrupted. my husband detests hash,
and so don't want to buy"
Hash! A thermometer has nothing to do
with hash!' he exclaimed.
"Well, can't help that she replied,
slowly closing the door. 1--WE haven't any
lamps to mend, and you shouldn't track
mud on the steps that way"
There a., C, =. hpeTsiy IMAM e1o,sing the
to him, halted him, and when he go, near
enough asked:
Can sell you an accurate thermometer
to-day"
"A what!''
What do l want with thermometer!
exclaimed the portly man, raising his voice
"Why to note the weather"
"YOu blamed idiot! Do you suppose I
run the weather." rOared the fas man, grow
ing purple in the face.
But you want to know when it's hot or
cold don't your
"Am l such an old fool that don't know
when it's summer and when it's winterF'
shrieked the fat man.
I'VE all know, of course" replied the
stranger, "but every respectable family has
q thermometer nowadays"
They have, eh! l never had one, nor l
wouldn't have one, and do you dare tell me
that l amt respectsblev ~ screamed old
portly.
II didn't mean"
eyes, You did, and you've made me mics
the car, and I'll cane your
The thermometer man waded across the
muddy street and made his escape, and at
duck last night was backed up against the
Soldier'e monument, his basket between his
feet, and was equiuting sadly at the clock
on the City Hall tower-Detroit Free Press.