Smyrna times., 1876-06-07
WHOLE NO. I,1O2.

- WI III '"IOAiId correspondent gets of
the following: Well, we are law in
Norfolk, that's fact But there is no
need working here. Ifa man has energy
enough to dig a worm he can take pn,
hook and sit down on the wharf and catch
enough fish in one day to last him two. If
he is too lazy to dig a worm. he can tie a
piece Of flannel rag on string and catch
enough crabs to last him day or two. and
If he is too lazy to tie piece Of flannel to
string, he lays down on his back on the
sand at ebb tide, opens his mouth. and
when tAe tide comes in the erals run into
It. What need is there Of work in a com,.
try for which nature has done 50 much ?"
a gentleman having engaged brick
layer to make some repairs in his cellar.
ordered the ale to be removed before the
bricklayer commenced his work. "Oh.
am not afraid Of a barrel of ale. Sir" said
the man. " ! presume not" said the zen.
tleman; "but think barrel oralc would
run at your approach"
An Englishman who insulated his bed
stead by placing underneath each lost
broken-of bottom OF a glass bottle. saws
that the effect was magical, that he had not
been free from rheumatic gout for fifteen
years, and that he began to improve i'm.
mediately after the application Of the
insulators.
The Nrc EIy1nd Eg,~,r says: There
are thirty species Of insects which subs;ste
on garden vegetables. The grape vine has
about fifty insect enemies. The apple tree
seventytiye. Our different shade trees
over hundred, and wheat and other
grains fifty.
An agricultural journal advcrtiscs a new
washing machine under the headjp,
Every man his own wa,hcrwoman." and
III its culinary department says that "pota-
toes should always be boiled IN cold water
There is a man ii Newark 50 close that
when lie attends church, he occupies the
pew farthc>t from the pulpit, to save the
interest on his money while the collectors
arc passing the plate for contributions.
Gas Company Presidents All. we must
accomodate ourselves to tie times. An
nounce a reduction of ten cents a thousand
feet in the price Of gas-and add couple
of thousand feet on each gas bill.
Nevada man recently swallowed a
wooden tooth pick. When he is standing
erect it doesn't bother him, but when he
sits down he is painfully conscious that lie
committed an indiscretion.
Prof-Now you may tell me the position
Of the stomach.
Junior-Directly above the Diaphragm
Prof-That' corect-when YOU stand on
your head.
Rool to Keep ITeldy-Yoo>t eat When
you feel like id. TO eat vas hooman. 70
eat when you dond Good got something 10
eat vas brootal Broots got more manners
like dot.
There never was man more completely
sold than the one who stole the travelling
bag of drummer for boot and shoe firm
He got boots and shoes in plenty, but not a
pair.
Professor Cooking at his watch: As
we have few minutes, should like to have
any one ask questions, if so disposed. "
Student What time is it please?"
Do you love me still, John?" whis.
percd sensitive wife to her husband
"Of course l do; the stiller the better,
answered the stupid husband.
History Professor-Did Martin Luther
die natural death p
Student-No, sir, he was excommunica-
ted by a bull.
A helping hand to one in trouble is often
like a switch on the railroad track-but
one inch between wreck and smooth rolling
prosperity.
What little trihes sometimes ruffle the
temper. A spirit of continual watchfulness
is needed to prevent our yielding to the
tendency.
Some men keep savage dogs around
their houses, so that the hungry poor who
stop to "get bite may get it outside the
door.
"The deceased closed her eyes on this
life while her husband was driving hogs
out of the garden" says Virginia paper.
Why did Joseph's brethren push him
into the pit? Because they thought it
nice opening for young man.
Failure after long perseverance, is much