St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-03-17
Squibs.

married his deceased Nife's sister Pns-
sIbly some other matrimonial alliance
would have been to his advantage.
Have you children :" demanded a
house rrntcr. Yes" replied the other.
Soiemnly: six all in the cemetery.
'Bettcr there than here" said the land
lord consolingly. and proceeded to exc
cute the desIied lease. In due time the
children returned from the cemetery.
whittier they had been sent to have a
nice play hut it was too late to auuul
the contract.
n man III Illinois. has four wear old
daughter named Eta who frequently
am'iSt> herself ny placing the chairs in
Il row and calling them Il train of ears.
one evening. while thus engaged. Mr..
B., Il friend of the family called and un-
thlhklhglN occupied one of the ears"
Miss Eta. not wishing to have her play
disturbed. stepped up and said
Mister, dis is Il train of tarS''
'oh :. said Mr.. b., '.then I'll he a
passenger and take ride
Little Eta was not at all satisfied
After heSitating IL moment she said
Wv here do on want To dit off -
Mr.. B. replied. III get OF at Rloou-
mgton.'
well. said Eta. drmurely. dis is
de place"
here Is Il man living in Taunton.
Mass, who has had Iather Il checkered
career. He has been twice shipwr-ck
ed was nearly baked in IL railroad ac-
cldent: has been run AWAY with fines
without number was shot in the neck
al "ettNShulg: was Il prisoner in Libby
PRISON Tell overheard from Il whalcr
ana had two fingers bitten off hN "A
shark: was drafted twice: had his right
arm broken i'll two places in the first
New York riot stood on IL barrel with
Il rope around his neck from sunrise to
sunset IN an Alabama town at the out
break of the rebellion was crushed b,
a falling building during an earthquake
III California, and was without food or
drink nearly fifty hours and when 20
ing home from the White Pine mines
narrowly escaped lynching. Still lie
doesn't complain.
left-hamded man on North hill
rushed out. yesterday afternoon. to Il
cham pump t" get Il bucket of water
lie made some ill-matured remarks
about men maxim" pumps wrong side
10, ana commenced to grind. He turn
Ell and turned. and ground and ground,
ana stopped and rested. and talked
snftlN L" himself. and ground again, and
Kicked the pump. and took of the lid
ana looked down into the ciStern, and
put on the lid and sat down to think,
and got up and turned the crank, and
sweat and kicked the pump again, and
| there hung that bucket, as innocent of
| moisture aS an independent political
ret"rmer i of the truth. And there
came woman to the back door, and a
voice fell like ii falling star: Turn that
crank the other way, y"u stupid thing,
81 you wont get any water. tonight"
HARRINGTON. (Io..) Hawheye
/ President Eliot of Harvard, says that,
contrary to the usual course of nature.
he l. growing younger instead of older,
as years advance. About - Years ago,
when lie WAS Il tutor and proctor. he
! was disturbed one night 10y Il noise in
/ the yard, and. going ont To see what
was the matter, he heard voice ex-
claim. 'llere comes old Eliot" But
last winter. walking into town one eve
/ nIng. he met two undergraduates, and
| heard one say to the other when he had
PASSED 10y. II wonder where Charlie is
'''''' vi "'s"''
a class of ragged bows in a school had
| learned To answer the questions in the
ratecli>m 10y rotc. One daN Il stranger
| entered to examine them but uufortu-
matclN. the boy who was always at the
head of the class was absent. The
stranger asked: ''Who made you -
! And the boy answered: The dust of
| the earth" '.Oh no :" was the remou-
Stration. God made YOU" No" WAS
| the RESPONSE. ..th,. hoy that ,;od u,,d.
isn't here
/ on.
in IA highly original manner. Two sand
stone bottles half filled with win. nr
spirits are placed up,u a fire untiI the
liquid hoilS. The contents ar. then
cmptied. and the red hot mouth of the
bottle il applied To the bite and held
there until il is filled with blood. when
| the same course j. pursucd with tL.
other bottle. \ deroctiou of ric. IN
which c:inthardrs have been boil,J for
an hour and then removed. i. also piy.u
the patient. who is reurIircd to keen
perfectly uuitt for cipht or fen d.,s
good record of army service, took down
his revolver t" shoot Il cat which had
been hanging around the house. After
Looking at hin while he fired siA shots.
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