davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-05-26

Use s. II. Kennedy's Yemlock Lini-
ment for horses. a27-dtf
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-05-26

Use S. II. Kennedy's Hemlock Dip
FOR skin disease and vermin in sheep.
a21-dtf
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-05-26

Potato Bug Exterminator is
manufactured by S. II. Kennedy,
Omaha. a27-dtf
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-05-26
Day Board


On the n. E. cor. 10th g. O'Neil SITS
m2O-1m
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-05-26
A CARD.

I9 all who are suffering from the errors ana
early decay loss OF manhood. &C., will .end
a, receipt that will cur you. FREE OF
cred by missionary in South america.
senu seif-oddressed envelope to the Hxy
York .'hy. eod.dx xfE :
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-05-26
Minor Matters.


n OeHteFttut zTOctuHtuttOH'
The President to-day issued procla-
nation recommending the carrying
into effect of the late resolution of
Congress for the delivery of local
sketch of the country's progress ut
various places on the 4th of July next.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

while the bugs 90 unmolested and
grow fat. The hum is a perfect imi-
tation, and has even deceived Yale
College professors. Without it you
guests will blow around about bugs
With it no traveller will mention bugs
at all, but will rip and tear at the
mosquitoes"
s'Do you mean to insult me? ?" shouts
ed the landlord
''No, sir.
"But you talk as if | had bugs ig my
house T.
''Ill tell you what I'll do, landlord !:
LII examine five beds, and If [ don't
fud bugs in at least three of them I'll
give Won machine for nothing
1t would have been a nip and~tuck
fight if the great big porter hadn t
jumped in and hit the stranger with an
iron boot-jack. The inventor still
lived, however, and within half an
hour was seen bearing down for another
hotel under full sail Detroit free
Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
---a s-------------------
He WANTED TO SELL PATENT.

Soon after dinner, yesterday, very
pleasant faced man, having something
wrapped up in a paper under his arm,
called at Detroit hotel and requested
a few minutes conversation with the
landlord. When they were seated the
stranger began:
81 am an old landlord myself. |
kept hotel in St. Louis for twenty
eight years.
yes" was the non-committal reply
of the landlord.
"And, of course, know ali about
the Inconvenience of hotel keeping,
resu,ned the man. "There bugs around
the beds in every hotel, | suppose. Of
course, used to lie to the guests, but
the bugs were there, and / knew it.
sW hat do you mean?" demanded
the landlord, growing red clear round
to his neck.
"Just keep right still," replied the
man, for now I'm coming down to biz
This is the summer season, isn't it, and
the only season when the bugs bite :?
In the winter they are dormant, and
unless there's fire in the room they
don't care to get in their work on the
weary traveller. Well, the summer
season is the season for the mosquitoes
and nothing is thought Of it. They
seem to be sort of necessity. Trave-
lers will raise howl over bugs, but
they never even grumble at any one
about mosquitoes.
':Sir do you thing I keep junk-
shop ?" roared the landlord.
"No, sir, l don't. This Is a regular
hotel, and very good ore. As | was
going to remark, l have invented and
patented machine, operated by boy
and crank, which you and all other
landlords want and will have. 1t is
a machine to initiate the hum Of
mosquitoes. Its notes can be heard all
over each floor. and with good boy at
the crank there can be no failure. The
Traveller just DOING off to sleep hears
the hum. At the same time bug
works ont from under cover. Then
more huns and more bugs Actually
sir, without any lying or exagseratlon
men would strike and claw the air al
night long to kill imaginary mosquitoes
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

The New York Express prints the
following as the platform upon which
Mr.. Hayes is asking the people to elest
him as a reformer:
The New York custom house frauds.
Usurpation in Louisiana,
The credit mobiler iniquity.
The Freedman's Savings Bank swim
die
The navy yard frauds.
The secret service swindle.
The Black Friday operations
The postotfie straw bids.
The Emma mine disgrace.
The Belknap post leadership,
The Boss" Shepherd villainies.
The safe robbery conspiracy.
The Indiana ring robberies.
The San Domingo job.
The Venezuelan conspiracy.
Attorney General Williams landau
let.
Be1knap's soldiers gravestones.
The back-pay steal.
The Babcock revelations.
The BrisIow and Jewell removals.
The Robson Irregularities
The removal of Henderson and De /
Of Missouri.
The removal of Yaryan and Platt of
Washington
and of the expenditure Of s35, 100000
in the fiscal year of f87475, more than
is found to be necessary in the fiscal
year ending June 80, 1876.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
The lawyers Wife.

About 9 O'clock Saturday afternoon
a citizen climbed the stars leading TO a
Detroit lawyers Office, pushed open the
door with an impatient slam and
angrily inquired:
"Why didn't you call on me as re-
quested?"
"Call on you? I didn't know that
you wanted to see me, was the surprls
ed reply.
Il left note on your table an hour
before noon continued the citizen. at
was inclosed in an envelope, directed to
you. and | wrote the word private
across the end"
''That explains it, answered the law
yer sinking back i'll his chair. 'My
wife came down here this morning,
saw that letter, and I'll bet she wasn't
the fifteenth part of a second putting IT
into her pocket. | hope for the lords
sake that YOU wrote large hand and
signed your full name -Uetroit Free
Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
A RICH PAPA VINO WAS roo MysE 70!
AN ApvENTURER,

A Newport, Rhode Island, correspon-
dent of the Chicago Tribune writes
Adventures are plentiful here; and.
apropos OF adventures. the best story
| ever heard was told me the other day
about one Of this class Originally he
by no means belonged to this class. OF
good family, and small fortune, he
was set well in the race of life, but Of
exceeding beauty, an Adons in face
and figure, and a vanity and social ann
bition which kept pace with each
other, his small fortune soon went, and
Adonis is launched upon life Of debtt
and stratagem. He has an eye for
beauty, ard a susceptible fancy, not
heart, mihd-that is entirely absorbed
with the image he sees in the looking
glass He would Like beauty, there
fore, as well as money, in the wife he
is diligently in search Of After many
attempts and failures, lie comes at last
upon the paragon of women. She has
good looks and money, or her father
has, and this father 1iotorionsly iudul
gent. Ny gentleman pays his devoirs
Most young women are attracted to
Adonis. He is not fool, except il
the way Of vanity, but he has a skill in
keeping this out of sight for a while
This shows his wit. And so be makes
decided impression upon Miss Cresus,
and gossips begin to say that a match
is imminent. Papa Cr9sus, who is the
wisest man l ever heard OF, watches
proceedings, and does not by any
means fail the fame in his daughters
heart by opposition. Instead, after
taking The accurate measure of Adouis,
he invites him';o stay beneath his roof,
while he is in the city, and Adonis falis
into the trap with great alacrity, Bag
and baggage he descends upon the
Crnsus mansion and lnstallS hImaelt at
his ease, feeling that his troubles are
over. Day after day Miss Crnsus rides
aud drives with Adonis, Day after
day she sees him in every light. And
by and by she begins to avoid him and
to wander what on earth possessed
papa to invite such vain egotist to be
bis guest. Then papa comes TO the
rescue, and Adonis is as skillfully ina
viled away to fresh fields and pastures
new, without opportunity to declare his
sentiments even. "He comes too near
who comes to be denied" Adonis
came too near. The recipe OF cure was
perfect, and Miss Cresus to this day
does not know what a wise father she
has.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

and then a ood-huriored smile broke
over his face. once he shook with silent
laughter. Then his face heightened
and his brow grew dark, till at last,
with a profound shake of the head, he
sat down to resume his sermon, but in
vain. he could not concentrate his
thoughts not an idea would enter his
brain so he sat idly scratching his pen
on the paper, till at last, with a ges.
tire of Impotence, he pushed back his
chair, got up, shook himself, took bis
hat and went for walk He got as
far as the gate, when an idea seemed to
strike him. He came back, hung up
his hat, and went liz search Of his wife.
For long while they were closeted
together until time for tea. When tea
was ready Miss Nellie came down
equipped for the lecture. After they
were fairly seated at the table, Mr.. Hall
inquired:
"My dear sir, will you have some
tea?"
"In jify, madam.
"Nelly looked up, but her father took
no notice.
'Rcally, this cake is quite stunning"
fes;imed the doctor, as solemn as a
Judge.
just then his napkin fell to the floor.
"Gracious! I'm conodum- founded =
calculated the doctor, getting it little
wrong
Nellie gazed at her father in perfect
amazeinent
"My dear this sauce is staying
Where did you buy it?'
ooh, we'll, its all the same in Gers
man
Nellie dropped her knife and fork.
"You must give me some money for
the butcher Tomorrow" said Mrs.
Hall
"You'll have to spell ability first,
growled the Doctor sayagely- Then
suddenly taking out his handkerchief,
he gave his nose IA tremendous bow
sThere, y said he, ''hows that for high? 2
81 know how it is myself, meekly re<
sponded his wife.
This capped the climax. The knows
ledge that her father must have heard
the afternoon conversation was too
much for Nellie, She burst into tears
and left the room. The sage doctor
nodded to his wife, and when she got
out of hearing exclaimed:
There, wife | guess we will hear no
more slang phrases from her"
So the next day the good doctor calls
ed his daughter into his study and said
to her:
''My dear girl, don't you see how
foolish these phrases are7 They mean
nothing, but are exceedingly injurious
to those who use them. Ry ever 50
sparing use, ones speech gets so
corrupt that a person often makes use
of those expressions at times, which
afterward he would be very sorry to res
member. They sound very silly TO a
listener, and too often usage Of them
leads to something worse.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
Take off that Hat.

Col. Bangs IS very bald, and, III ORDER
to induce his hair to grow again, he is
using a very excellent article called hair
yigor upon his scalp: 4 week or two
ago he was summoned as a juryman
upon a case In the Circuit Court, and
upon the day Of the trial, just before
the hour at which court met, he
remembered that he had not applied
the vigor to his head that morning.
He had only few minutes to spare,
but he flew up stars and into the dark
closet where he kept the bottle, and,
pouring some fluid on a sponge, he
rubbed his head energetically By some
mistake the Colonel got hold of the
wrong bottle, and the substance with
which he inundated his scalp was not
'.vigor' but the black varnish with
which Mrs Bangs decorated her shoes
However, Bangs didn't perceive his
mistake, but darted down stairs, put on
his hat, and walked off to the court
room. 1t was very cold morning,
and by the time the Colonel reached
his destination the varllish was as stiff
as a stone, his hat glued fast to the
skin, and his efforts 20 take it off gave
him frighttul pain. Just then he heard
his name called by the Crier He was
wild with apprehension of coming
trouble but he took his seat in the
jury box and determined to explain the
situation to the court at the earliest
possible moment. Presently the CLERK
screamed: Chats off in court" Tie
Colonel grew crimson in the face.
''IIats Off yelled the Clerk again, and
the Colonel was about to reply, when
the Judge came in, and as his eye rested
on Bangs he said persons in the
court room must remove their hats.
Bangs-AIay it please your Honor, |
kept my hat on because
Judge-Well, sir, you must take it
of now.
Bangs-Dut I say kept it on because
Judge-We don want any argument
upon The subject, sir. Remove that hat
this moment, sir.
Bangs Judge, if you would only
give me a chance to
Judge-This is intolerable! Do you
mean to insult the court SIR? Take
your hat off, sir, or | viii fine you for
contempt.
Bangs Well, its very hard 1 cant
say a word by way Of ex--
Judge (warmlU This is too much !!
You've got more audacity than a mule
Mr.. Clerk, fine that man $50
Bangs Judge, this is rough on ne.
Judge Gin a furious rage) Wont Go
it yet. Why you impudent scoundrel,
I've a notion to-Mr. Clerk, fine him
500 more, and, Mr. Jones, you 60 and
take that hat off by force.
Then the tipstaff approached Bangs,
and hit the hat with his stick. 1t didn t
move. Then he struck it again, and
cayed in the crown, but it remained On
Bangs head Then he picked up a
volume of Brown on Evidence" and
mashed the crown in fiat Then Bangs
sprang at him, and shaking his fist
under the nose Of Jones, he shrieked /:
on mutton headed scullion I've half
a notion to kill you! If that .jackass
on the bench had any sense he could
see that the hat Is glued fast. cant
take it off if | wanted to-" Then the
Judge removed the fines and excused
him, and Bangs went home. He slept
in that hat for week, and even when
it came off the top of his head looked
as if modification had set in.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
Ynetifal.
GETTING MORE THAN HIS SHARE.

In a little, brown house, OH a dairy farm,
Near a wood, in the land of Penn,
There lived, in old times. as lonely maid
As has smiled OH the world since then.
As quiet and prim as nun she looked.
In her modest Quaker gown:
And the "theesf and the 'thOus" from the
rosebud mouth
Where like pearls dropping down.
In her nimble fingers the shuttle flew
Back and forth like a switt-winged bird;
While the song in her heart and the song
Oh her lips.
We're by loves sweetest impulse stirred.
For hearts are so light, and love is SO sweet
While life is yet in its May.
That cen througha bodice of Quaker draD
Brave Cupid viii find his way.
And the bashful Seth, who was waiting the
time
When she should say yea or nay
To what he would ask but never had dar-
ed.
Thought this the auspicous Gay.
Il love thee, Martha; dOst thou love me -
And the answer came soft and low'
"Why, we are commanded to love one
another,
| find it no task. yoti know"
But dost thou regard me, dear Martha, in
truth.
With the feeling the world calls love?
D0st thou dream OF Il home Tor our we'd
ded souls
Az a inv of all lows above 80
Then the sweetly smiled, as she archly
said.
Dear Seth, love all. thou'rt aware;
But sometimes have thought that per-
haps. after all,
Thou vast getting more than thy share =
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
SLANG PHRASES.

As Rev. DR.. Hall was sitting in his
study on pleasant August afternoon,
his thoughts intent upon his Sunday
sermon and his mind withdrawn from
earthly cares, his train of thought was
ruGely interrupted, and his attention
distracted from his theme by the follow
ing conversation
"Oh, Nellie Hall, where are You?
You'd ought to have been there just
the slunnngest fellow"
Then sound of running feet, and
pretty soon he heard his daughter ex~
claim
is that you, Maggie?'
eyes; come down quick, I've got
something to tell YOU
Ill be there in a jiff,y.'
Then door opened and shut, and in
a few minutes
"What do ,on think ? AS l WAS
coming over here there was just the
stunningest fellow right in front of me-
just as l got opposite the new church
my music roll slipped, and every paper
in it fell out on the sidewalk"
''Gracous [ should have been dumb
contounded.
"And so | was, but it was so rdicu~
lous that | almost died a laughing.
Well. that fellow, do you think, stops
ped, turned round and helped me pick
them TIP. I was hunkydory then. He
walked as tar as here with me, and
thanked him, of course, etc, You know
how lis yourself. "
The good doctor scratched bis head.
Could that be his Nelly whom he
thought So lady>like He opened the
door softly, little crack, thinking, NO
doubt, that he had the right to play the
part OF the listener to so strangely mixS
| cd conversation. and in his own house,
Very soon it was continued this time
his daughter commenced the converse
titn
''There, hows that for high?'
ooh, isn't that sweet How much was
it?'
'.Only IS cheap enough"
eyes, indeed but you said you were
going to have pink this is blue.
''Neyer mind-it's all the same in
Dutch"
The doctor peeped in to see what
hey were talking about, and Miss
| Nellie was exhibiting ner new bonnet
10 the admiring gaze of her friend.
slt's raging hot here"
''Well, I don't as I can make ii any
cooler" said Nellie, looking round; Il
suppose father'd kill me if I'd open the
door
/ Her father had requested her the day
before to keep the door closed.
81 guess it's time for me to absquatu>
late" said Miggie rising.
Don't tear yourself away. Are you
going to the lecture to-night ?"
Eyes. / had staying old time last
Thursday night
"George Saunders said he would go
home with you to night
"Dd lie he'd better spell able first"
"That's SO. If there's anything /
hate It's these boys bothering around /;
they ought to be put into barrel and
fed through the bung-hole until they
are old enough to behave.
81 must bid you fond adieu now
I've got thousands of errands to do
"Well; goodbye"
"Oh, the dickens, I've lett my parar
SOL
"IIere it is.
.Now, good bye; be sure and come
tonight"
| Then the doctor closed, and Nellie
went up stairs.
/ The doctor gently closed the door
with sly twinkle in his eyes lie sal
buried in thought some little time. Now
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
CLOSING OUT.


AS l intend to quit the ready made
clothing business, | now offer the re
mainder of my stock in that departs
ment at 25 per cent less than New
York Wholesale costs, come and fit
yourselves before they are all gone.
What IS the use of wasting your
money when you can save it? Upon the
business basis of merit alone more than
mere favor do claim your attention
I respectfully present thanks to the
people of Shenandoah for their liberal
patronage and hope to merit con
tinuance. The publics humble GER
want.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

Why HE WoN'r VoTE FOR TILDEN.-
"Pete, who is you gwine ter vote fur,
fur de PRESIDENT" asked Jake last
evening
sNobodv; now yer got it J"
ssWhat's de reezin ?"
"Well, l dohe told you some time
back dat I warht gwine ter vote no
more of dem 'publicans i'll office, didn't
II"
''Yes."
"Wel. wuz tinkin' dat I'd act de
free nigger an vote fur de dimmycrat
dis time.
''But yer can't stand him, eh?'
"No, sab, no how! Yer see, de pa
pers, dev makes HIM out all buckra an
fine gemman, but one oh dem men al
de Pos >ofiiis he done sot me right.
"What do he say e
HE cay Diet Mister Tildum am de
man war dey have all dat trouble
bout twixt him an dat Becchcr feller.
An lissen to me when man lows
anuader man to insult his wife al don't
90 cut him wild razor, da. let's inc out
wild him +
.-You'se right, old man vott allus is,
said Jake, as he resumed his laif Of q
water melon.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
JUST RECEIVED

8 cases Gents fine half double sole Con.
gress French Calf Caters at $3.50
worth Sc 90 in the most popular retail
Shoe House in New York.
II cases Mems laced Plow Brogan' s
at dollar Fair worth It's and 200
% Bales of straw mating a "a cents
worth IS. Notions in endless varieties
at low pri1ts. Best calicoes 5, 6 and :
cents. Bleached and Brown cottons at
5 cents per yaro. Best for s and 8
cents Ribbons, Jewelgy, Scarifs, Dress
Goods, laces, &c, &c.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17
A 3adly Matched Team

Among the first things couple has
to do upon getting married is to &C,
commodate themselves each to the
others walk, and in this matter or ac-
commodation they don't always sue
coed well. Mr.. and Mrs. McNabb, of
the Second ward, have had an especially
hard time in this respect, and are really
little better off than they were at the
beginning of the honeymoon. Mr..
McNabb is tall and lean, with stride
of about yard, and Mrs McNabb is
short and dumpty, with step carefully
estimated by her husband at about six
inches on the average so, when they
first began walking together the effect
was odd. There was the patter, patter,
patter; Of Mrs McNabb's short PAGES,
with the heavy 'thunp of her hus-
bands footsteps coming in at intervals,
and the effect was simply ridiculohs.-
AT first the CONVERSATION between them
was this way:
oh, Augustus, dear, please do take a
little shorter steps.
why, Angelina, I'm walking as
usual; can't you step little longer,
darling?'
But he didn't take shorter steps nor
She longer ones, because it was a
practical inpossibility in either case,
and after "a moment or two their con-
velsation ran more interestingly:
Augustus, don't take such horrid
strides. I'm not agiantess.
No, evidently, you're less like a
giantess than a beetle. Do you sup
pose | can patter along to keep time
with your six,inch hops? Nonsense
At the end Of the half first year the
two never went out without quarrel.
She'd break ont every time:
You're beast, Augustus! I'd as
soon walk with big pair of shears
No gentleman would straddle SO with q
lady on his arm, you brute!'
'That'll do madam! It's hard enough
to force a man to literally carry. you,
without insulting him! You'll die OF
inattention yet, and next time LII
marry woman with more legs and less
tongue! This things az internal nui-
sance?
And then they gave up walking
together for year or more. Finally,
as necessity sometimes compelled them
to go out together, it was arranged
between them that in walking he should
keep time with every third step of hers
and the plan works, after a fashion. AS
they 90 along tile sidewalk the sound
is 'patter' patter, thump! 'patter, patter
thunp!' and its funny. The only difi~
Guilty about the device is that three OF
her steps fall a fraction short of one OF
his, and every other minute she has to
wriggle and hope, or he has to halt
and stumble to allow her to catch up
They are an unhappy couple, and all
because the distances from their bodies
to the ground vary 50 much.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

Tiden is gaining strength in Ohio
every day. All the people who want Il
change will vote for him, and they con-
stitute q majority.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

The Boston Post expects that imA
portant industry, the bloody shirt
factory, to run on tull time during the
next four months.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

President Grart is determined not be
pestered himself, nor haze his friends
pestered, with reformefs any longer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

Carl Schurz has lost his grip. He is
now vainly seeking to defend himself
against the charge Of Inconsistency.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

Orth gets ''hotter than lime-kiln"
when he thinks how he lost the Austrian
mission and can home to meet dis
grace.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

The Chicago Times, Independent,
thinks Tilden viii carry Wisconsin by
from ten to twenty thousand majority.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

HAYES has been losing strength ev-
cry ,lay since his nomination He
represents tie oflice-holders, and is
supported hv the GRANTEES With him
there can be no reterm, and the coun-
try wonld continue under the weary
sway Of rings The pc pie recognizes
this fact, iasd arv turning 10 Tilden iSr
elief.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1876-08-17

Robson. of the navy, now stares
impeachment IL the face. Grant ought
to accept his resignation.