The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-08-04
Pith and Point.
A TENDER subject railroad fuel


A SEQUEL to the beau-knot-the mar
riage tie.
THE sting of bee carries convic--
tion with tit makes man bee -leaver
at once.
IT was little boy in New Jersey whe
said Yes, soda-water's good it's like
your foot's asleep"
WHY is it that dirty pair of cuffs
protrude much farther than clean ones.
despite all endeavors to hide them9
AN Essex farmer is obliged to chalk
his nose every time he takes a walk
around the farm, to save himself from
an old bull which has strong antipathy
to red.
"MAR1A what's that strange noise at
the front gate l" "Cats, SIR" Cats
Well, when 1 was young cats didn't wear
stove-pipe hats and smoke cigars"
"Times are changed, sir"
NURsE-"I wanted to go into town
this afternoon, if you could spare me,
to get a new bonnet and admire your
taste in bonnets so much, mum, was
a-thinkin' couldn't do better than go 10
the same shop!"
NIAGARA hackmen, having ridden o
free horse to death, have fewer people
| to levy their extortions upon this season
than heretofore. Many of them have
been compelled to mortgage their coun-
try residences in order to send their fam
lilies to the seaside.
SCENE in the recitation room Pro
fessor-" "The ancient Egyptians were in
the habit of sacrificing red-headed girls
to the devils" Auburn-haire student
=" What did they do with red-heade6
boys 2" Professor-"They supposed
! they would go of their own accord"
A YOUNG man essayed couple of
weeks ago to pass the entrance examina-
tion to Amherst who spelled neither by
note nor by ear, but by main strength.
His paper contained the words "gelicy"
and "gousy," the latter, as the reader
will not have readily perceived, meaning
"juicy."
PAPA (apropos of burning family
grievance)-"Oh, my dear Gal, don't
talk of it How on earth your uncle
could have been such q ID" (Stops.
The word was out before he noticed the
child.) Master Tommy" Oh, don't
mind me, pa It's an expression i
often make use Of myself l''-P,Gnch.
Mrs. SHoDDY (to shop-keepere
"Show me thermometer-one of your
very best" Shop-keeper-"Th This,
ma'am, is one of our finest-Venetian
glass and the best quicksilver. Mrs
S.-"Silver2 That would be very nice
for the kitching, but want one for my
boodoor. Haven't Won one with quick
gold"
A MAN in Troy, n. Y, a few days ago
caught some boys bathing in a pond on
his premises, and seizing the clothing
of the lads hid it. The boys apparently
took no notice of the man, but after q
little while they managed to surround
him, and getting him away from the
clothes pushed him into the pond, nearly
drowning him before he was rescued.
FoorE, the actor, patronized Brighton,
and for mimicking the good parish prizes
was cornered by the parsons fighting
parishioners, cane in hand. Foote apol-
ogized by saying, 81 initiate everybody.
Why, take off myself; will show
you" At the same time stepping slyly
behind gate, he shut it in their faces
and fastened away with "Good morn
ing, gentlemen.
A BALTIMORE San obituary: "Our
little playboy, John, he has left us and
gone to his place of Gods own prepara-
ton. 1 always thought little Johnny
was brought to this world for divine
elevation. Each trifling toy that we
gave him for Joy are now cherished as
relics of sorrow by his parents most
dear, whose shock is sincere. Who
would not like to meet our little angel
tomorrow"