Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-05-24

feeling that IL he could not have bread, the
gentle treatment was at least something
to be grateful forn Well, suffered all day
about that. Three days before, | had fed q
tramp, and led him freely, supposing it a
virtuous act. Straight off you said: % false
citizen, to have fed tramp!' and l suffered
as usual. gave tramp work; you object
ed to it-GfteT the contract was made, oil
course; you never speak up beforehand
Next, REUSED tramp work; you objected
to that. Next, l proposed to kill tramp;
you kept me awake all night oozing remorse
at every pore. sure l was going to be right
this time, | sent the next tramp away with
my benediction; and l wish you may live as
long as do, If you didn't make me smart ali
pight again because didn't kill him. Is
there any way OF satisfying that malignant
invention which is called a conscience!''
. Ha, ha! this is luxury! Go on"
But come. now, answer me that question.
Is there any way?'
swell, none that propose to tell
you, my son. Ass! | don't care achat
act you may turn your hand to, l can
straightway whisper word in your ear
and make you think you have committed q
my joy-to make you repent OF every thing
you do. II have fooled away any opportu-
mites it was not intentional; l beg to assure
you it was not intentional"
Don't worry; you haven't missed trick
that I know Of. | never did thing in all my
life, virtuous or otherwise, that l didn't re-
pent OF within twenty-four hours. In church
last Sunday | listened to charity sermon.
My first impulse was to give three hun
dred and fifty dollars; | repented of that and
reduced it hundred; repented Of that and
reduced it another hundred; repented of that
and reduced it another hundred; repented of
that and reduced the remaining fifty to
twenty-five; repented Of that and came down
to fifteen; repented of that and dropped to
two dollars and half; when the plate came
around at last, repented once more and con-
tributed ten cents. Well, when | got home,
did wish to goodness l had that ten cents
back again! You never did let me get through
charity sermon without having something
to sweat about
"Oh, and never shall, | never shall You
can al ways depend on me-"
81 think So Many and many's the rest
less night I've wanted to take you by the
neck If could only get hold Of you now!"
Eyes, no ooubt. But l am not an ass;
am only the saddle of an ass. But 90 on, 60
on. You entertain me more than | like to
confess
Il am glad of that. (You will not mind
my lying little, to keep in practice.) Look
here; not to be too personal, think you are
about the shabbiest and most contemplate
little shriveled-up reptile that can be imag-
ined. ] am grateful enough that you are in
visible to other people, for | should die with
shame to be seen with such q mildewed
monkey of a conscience as gou are Now If
you were five or six feet high, and'-
"Oh, comet who is to blame?"
81 don't know"
Why, you are; nobody else"
"Confound you, / wasn't consulted about
your personal appearance"
s. don't care, you had good deal to DO
with it, nevertheless. When you were eight
or nine years old, was seven feet high and
as pretty as picture"
~ wish you had died young So you have
grown the wrong way, have roug"
Some of us grow one way and some the
other. You had large conscience once; if
you've small conscience nov, reckon there
are reasons for it. However, both of us are
to blame, you and l. You sec you used to be
conscientious about great many things
morbidly so, | may say. 1t was great
many years ago. You probably do not re-
member it now. Well, took a great inter
est in my work, and | so enjoyed the ang uish
which certain pet sins of yours afflicted you
with, that kept pelting at you until | rather
oyerdid the matter. You began To rebel OF
course I began to lose ground, then, and
shrivel = little-diminish in stature, get
moldy, and grow deformed. The more
weakened, the more stubbornly you fastened
on to those particular sins; till at
represent those vices became as cal
lous as shark skin. Take smoking, for in
stance. played that card little too long,
and | lost When people plead with you at
this late day to quit that vice, that old callous
place seems 30 enlarge and cover me all over
like shirt of mail. 1t exerts o mysterious,
smothering effect; and presently |, your
81 xF,,1 LNs. I'd
sound asleep, Sound! 1t is no name for it.
couldn't hear it thunder at such time
You have some few other vices--perhaps
eighty, or maybe ninety-that affect me in
much the same way"
This is catering; you must be asleep
good part of your time
yes, of Late years. | should be asleep oil
the time, but for the help GET
"Who helps you?"
"Otber eonsciences. Whenever a per-
son whose conscience l am ac-
quainted with tries to plead with you
about the vices you are callous to, |
get my frie7d 10 give his client pany con-
corning SOME villainy of his own, and that
shuts OF his meddling and starts him off to
hunt personal consolation. My held of use
fuIness is about trimmed down to tramps, bud
ding authoresses, and that line of goods,
now; but don't you worry-l1l harry you on
them while they last! Just YOU put your trust
in me"
think can. But if you had only been
good enough to mention these facts some
thirty years ago, | should have turned my
particular attention to sin, and think that
by this time should not only have had YOU
pretty permanently asleep on the entire list
of human vices, but red ueed to the size of a
homeopathic pill, at that. That is about the
style OF conscience am pining for. II only
had YOU shrunk down TO homeopathic pill,
and could get my hands on you, would |
put you in glass case for a keepsake? No,
sir. would give you to yellow dog, That
is where go,t ought 10 be--you ana all your
tribe. You are not tit 10 be IN society, in my
opinion. Now another question. Do you
know good many eonsciences in this sec
ton ~
Plenty of them"
:" would give anything to see some Of
lhem, NnMld YOU hrinc Ihem Lnres And