The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-11-18
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

on examining the coat had thrown IL aWay,-so
the laugh is on the editor.
Sitting Bull, after his escape from capture by
Gen. Miles, sends back modest demand for am
unition to last him through the winter 1t is sad
to reflect had Sitting Bull been caught when
young and brought up under the genial iniluen-
ces of civilization, what a splendid lightning rod
or sewing machine agent he would have made.
An Eastern newspaper states that every sew
enth American drinks whisky, but makes, oddly
enough, no reference to the fact that the other
six drink whisky and sugar.
We have always said be careful about cucum-
bers. man at Belot, Wis, stepped on ripe
one last week, slipped, fell, and injured himself
SO seriously that he died In few minutes.
Cider is good; but cider and whisky mixed
make brisk bidding at a public sale. gallon
of this mixture is recommended when you wish
to sell broken down SIS horse for s65-also
when you wish TO sell " good honest Deacons.
--Amboy Journal.
But the mixture, tried at republican meet
ing in this county, worked with surprising
energy, but-the wrong way.
Stokes and Josie Mansfield have not yet met
and the probabilities seem to be that they wont
II they hadn't met years ago it would have been
a great deal nicer all 'round.-St LouiS Repub.
A Rhode Island man in Texas was much over
come by the magnitude of that state, and thus
gave expression of the emotion that convulsed
him. "This is butler than sleeping three in a
bed, you bet"
It's not generally known that the Democrat
and Chronicle man, Gregory wears shlrt OF man,
but he has always done so since the tlme when
a lpss n
thony as "frail male humanitys least buXom
bouncer."-.St Louis Repu6.
A Middleport farmer Dragged the other day
that he husked fifteen of corn in ten hours.
"And can prove it," says he, here's the corn"
He had a small wagon load Wdtsekd Times.
Billy Hise picked ripe cherry in his garden
yesterday. The Garden Of Eden was not so glo-
rous place as this valley.-BoiSc CITY (Iddh0) |
Statesman, oct. ~.
They must have awful late cold dragging
springs and summers out there No wonder Il
single ripe cherry surprises them in such a
country.
Jonu +. Fulton is lecturing on" Whom Shall
We Trust" II would be much more Interesting
to the bulk of his audiences if he would try to
answer the question, who will trust us"-
Boston HerdH.
An Iowa Judge has decided that a man may lie.
u
it was his wife That decision should be de-
nounced by all good men as an open encourage
ment Of perjury.
The Baltimore Bulletin says that when Gen.
Burnside is at home in Rhode Island the shadow
of his -whiskcrs trespasscs upon Massachu-
sets and Connecticut"
At the show the other evening, gentleman
sarcastically asked man standing up in front
Of him If he was aware that he was opaque?
The other denied the allegation. He said le was
not Opaque. His name was Thompson.
Judrc Hnnr is apnarnnflu Not """-""-''"" 81
with anxiety for the extension OF women's rights
In recent speech he said: al certainly never /
said anything against them, and they always ,
seemed to me to be kind Of rights that if
may judge OF my practical experience, are very
apt to take care Of themselves. ! say this as I
married man of long standing" u
The evils of advertising are exemplided in the 5
case OF the man who advertised in the DeKalb y
Ne,rS for wife. He was so overwhelmed with II
applications that it drove him distracted. He a
ought to have known better than to advertise if n
he didn't want a shower.
We've suspected for some time past tina, Il
would have to be taken to check the Y
alarmingy rapid growth of the Smith family. h
And, sure enough, Pennsylvania man exhibits ;,
Boss Shepherd has gone INTO bankruptcy, His r
friends predicted that Tildens election would l.
destroy the business Interest OF the county
State Registcr. :,
Connecticut yindicates her claim TO be called r.
the land Of steady habits by the habit she has p,
allen into Of steadily voting the democratic -,
ticket ~
The Illinois State entomoogst gives the as. 81
surance that the grasshopper will never serious re
" invade Illinois. There is no need Of borrow cl
ng trouble on that account With the indus. q
riouS efforts of the potato bug chinch bug, NJ
,urculio, weey cut worm and Hcssian ny there II
s no danger of being greatly troubled with =.
uperabundauce OF crops. 'w
Baltimore paper says: "The queen Of love r
md beauty at the Centennial tournament was III
10 novice. She had already been crowned four "
lines on similar occasions. o, lud, TO think that u
he belle Of all Maryland shoul! be 500 years IL
I'D. ~
Ten cents worth Of spruce gum, they say, Of
liza,
moonlight will not raise ripple in her tranquil ~
soul. a.
The news is not all discouraging TO the rcpub- ca
leans. Mckee, Avery, Joyce and Med )nald er
nave been pardoucd. ca
The best thing in this world is TO take things N
IS they come-take them easy-and take a good D,
many Of them. Honestly Of course, but take. "a
A NJ Thunder has charge Of an organ in Y {"
/. He wants lightning rod man to blow the
bellows. In,
The only way to distinguish a mushroom from tn
/ toadstool is by eating the specimen II YOU IN
i've, il IL q mushroom; if you die, it isl toad III
tool.
Ih'
The hat-siore proprietor will buy that corner "a,
OF and his daughter will look down even upon h,