The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1876-07-14
Mayors Court.

took up strong positions for seeing
what WINS going on. There was IL judi
ciul hush for II moment when the 6lahd
and portly executive assumed the mu-
uicipal business and called for mate
rial.
"Captain Mortohn said the Blind,
this court hungers for something fresh
Ia the misdemean0r line. You have
been serving up with restaurant regu'
lnrity the same tough dishes here too
long, sir. This court is weary Of DRINKS
and downs, they pail upon the court
''-peak lien2oDlan or die"
"May 1t please your worship said
the Polite and Popular, have some
thing here that possibly your worship
may relish. 1t il ilrst-class, sugared
cured, Texas breakfast bacon. Stand
forth sampson, Abraham Bacon
charge, exposure Of person." land the
Polite and Popular put his feet out OF
the window and ruminated on the sad
lot of street car driver passing, DOOM
ed to turn IL crank and swear ut mules
aud be "sassed" by passengers for
small monthly stipend.
"Colonel Bacon" said the Bland,
rising aud awiping the dew OF matu'
final perspiration from his brow, I'll
am inexpressedly shocked to see
gentleman Of your personal pulchis-
tude and polite accomplishments
waltzed into my presence upon
charge which makes mankind shud.
der and the scales of justice rattle"
The Colonel hitched up his solitary
gallus, blew his nose with II red silk
remnant of departed gentility, and
said: "May it please your honor, you
behold in me, sir, II victim of cruel
aud relentless persecution by the min
ions of u municipal despOtism, rs cruel
w that of the Duke of Alya when"--
The Bland crossed the courts legs,
and holding ~ his hand depricating-
ly, ordered Colonel Bacon to SIT down.
"IIas it come to this" said the Col
onel, "that an American citizen, still
flushed with the glorious eXhlliration
Of celebrating the nations birthday,
cannot defend himself? Forbid 1t,
kind heaven,n and the Colonel fell OH
the City Attorneys shoulder to weep;
but that indignant functionary shook
him instanter.
"rhree dollars and costs" said the
Bland, sand now Colonel Sampson
Abraham Bacon, don't you come up
here again on this charge or pll wear
you out if there's law in Texas"
The Colonel struck stage attitude
and said: Thanks, my Lord, thou
hast spoken WELL | will now HE me
hence. What, no within there? Var
let make way for your master. Sweet
prince, adieu."
"llere, your Honor" said the Polite
and Popular, "isanother tit'bit; charge
abusive Language; name of party,
Henry Bracht."
The Court closed its left visual organ,
thereby converting the other into a
microscope, under which Henry stood.
Colonel Bracht," said he "if my
memory serves me right this Is your
first otlenseW
"Eah.n
"l'is well. Under ordinary clrcum-
stances, | should feel no hesitation in
reaching for you for three dollars and
costs, but in view of the uncertainty of
the German vote AZ regards to Hayes
and Wheeler, you will at once see the
propriety of my waving all ceremony
and snatching you bald-headed for n
dominion total Of say, nine shekels.'
"Nuh.h
"Iou must understand, Colonel, that
abusive language is regarded rs Nh at
tempt to bring into to disrepute the
Presidents American, and that the
strong arm Of the law ~ therefore
evoked to prevent 80 criminal catas.
trophe. You grasp the idea2 Do |
make myself understood"'
"Yah.u
Captain Morton, remove the Teu-
ton from the Courts presence
"llerr Brachdt, "step this way, and be
lively about it, said this Polite and
Popular, as he yolitely assisted tn o dis
penser of abusive language from the
hall of justice.
"NeXt," said the Bland
"Here is II regular Tartar, your hon.
or, Colonel John Leonard, he has been
creating II disturbance"
Colonel John,n said his worship, "a
am surprised at you; couldn't you ere
ate anything but II disturbance? This
is too much, away with him. Three
dollars and c0sts,so much for Bucking-
ham,
Here your honor is another one of
the same sort. Frank Lucas, stand |
up"
Colonel Lucas,n said the Bland,
''you will permit me to remark that
never, since | caught the municipal
mantle rs it fell from the shoulders OF
my distinguished predecessor, has it
been my duty to try case with more
regret than yours. You are accused of
lighting. Your military training has
fitted you for this sport of the gods,
but the civil law, undazzled by the
glare OF military proves, provides
that you shall be permitted to exercise
vourgalf i'm tents M urn,a I'm tha tantol |