The Worthington advance., 1876-07-20

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well. We withhold her name out Of
defer nee to her wishes. .srs&
SPICED PERSONALS.
Pocahontas was the only. good In.
dian. : ;s51j.t1.
Brigham is. g. He is no longer
The Indians are passing away; but too
slowly.
William Cullen Bryant is worth half
a million dollars.
No, my child; Santa, Anna is not a
relative of Santa Claus.
Mr.. Vanderbilt is very thin. He
has ''Watered'' himself.
It seems that one Sitting Bull is bet.
ter than a standing army.
The march of civilization must 90
on. Stand aside Gen. Bull. :, 4
A keg of lager beer will not intoxi:
cate-unless you knock out the bung.
''The happy hunting:grou1i>d'' is the
only suitableT reservation for the reds.
Ben Butler has his eye on 4 nom
ination for congressman his good eye,
too. -: '~, w..
"A Sacramento . ohinaman has !. long
beard. His queue grows the wrong
way. :;
''Castle Garden has gone up,' from
which we infer that it is castle in
the air. !:
Mr.. Beecher's "supply" this summer
will be Rev. NJ. Bray, of Manchester,
England.
Gen. n.George B. Mcclellan and family
will spend the summer at Cobourg,
in Ontario.
Offenbach has sailed for home, and
instead of being Offen-bach, he says he
won't come back at all. =:
Prof. Tice doesn't predict anything
nowadays; and yet the weather appears
to 60 on about as usual.
| The Turks have driven the Serv.
ians over their border-made them
waltz 1sThe Beautiful Blue Danube. -
William Penn subdued the savage
red man with kindness. But in those
days the Penn was mightier than the
sword.
In Carlyle, KY, on the Fourth, the
American flag was hauled down by a
body of armed men, Shoot them on
the spot.
Anna Dickinson is writing more
new plays for herself, Her style of
acting is hard on play. It soon
wears it out.
Leo Miller is still confined in Jail at
Hastings, Minn. Imprisonment comes
hard upon man who has been as
"free" as bird.
An Indiana school-marm one day re.
Gently, thrashed 80 scholars. They
are going to use her for a threshing
machine after harvest.
The sultan gets $3.50, 900 Il month
but he is liable to be the victim of all
unprovoked and cold-blooded suicide
before the month is up.
A party of Irish railroad laborers.
near Lafayette, Ind, got into general
fight on the Fourth. Doubtless, they
wanted to show their Patriotism.
The President, a few days ago, ex.
pressed confidence in Belknap's inno-
cence, believeing that his connection
with the Marsh money was innocent.
Joaquin Miller is at Newport; but as
he doesn't tuck his breeches in his
boots and wear a red shirt, he is of
no more account there than anybody
else.
An Indiana druggist has fallen in
love with Clara Morris; and Clara,
thinking of the free soda water glances
at her husband and sighs, ':Too late,
too late!
Lord Dudley rarely bets, but when
he does he makes large: wagers. At
Epson he lost f40,0 900 and at Ascot laid
and lost one wager of 100000 against
$1,000. And yet the proverb says ga
fool for luck.''
Gen. Sherman said, at a recent
army reunion, that he would rather
march six times from Atlanta to the
sea, than encounter once the unspeak-
able horrors of campaign aginst the
savages on the frontier.
A young lady on the West side gets
| up and plays croquet in her sleep, and
she has ruined several small trees
near the grounds, which sae imagined
to be cheating opponents, by hammer
ing them with her mallet.