Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1876-04-28
Visiting.

There are three essentials which must be
understood and acted upon before visits aud
visiting will ever fulfill the ideal Of the
pleasure they ought to be aud to give.
First, nothing must be done for parade or
show. No matter how rich a man may be,
if he sets on his dinner-table one thing,
either to be eaten or to be looked at, simply
for show, it is a challenge and an offeuse.
OF course. nobody is so absurd as to main
tain that the rich must make dinners
of herbs because the poor cannot afford
stalled oxen. A very fast of good things
both for the eye and the palate, can be set
out without any attempt at or any sugges-
ton Of mere parade, mere display There
are plenty of ways in which man may ad-
vertise his wealth, if he likes, without doing
it in his hospitality. To do it there, or even
seem to do it there is the very essenoe of
vulgarity and real inhospitality. To avoid
by every possible device and by the utmost
tact the bare suggestion that the guest is the
recipient, and not the conlerrer Of favors is
the first principle of entertainment. To ask
a man to your house and treat him as if he
were inspector of wines or tax-gatherer on
| silver is piece Of very coarse stupidity /;
and to make very great difference between
the way you live when you are alone, and
the way you live when you have friends
under your roof is surely very direct way
Of injuring ones own self.respect Of casting
an unpleasant reflection of ones own personal
standard of taste
The second essential Of the ideal visit and
visiting is, that the host, not the guest, set
the limit of the visit. There is so very false
a notion in this country on thus point that it
almost seems as il it must spring out Of a
national lack Of directness aud sincerity.
| Everybody knows, when he asks friend to
his house how long he wants him to stay
There may be fifty reasons combining to
make him very glad of his visit three days
long, and very much Inconvenience by one
longer. Honest people ought to find no
difficulty in saying this; and honest people
take no Offense at hearing it, This does
away with all possibility of misconstr notion
on either side, with all uncertainties as to
welcome, with all fears OF intrusion.
\ third essential of ideal visits and visiting
is, that there be on the part of the host no
strained efforts to entertain or amusc the
guest on the part of the guest no expecta-
ton Of being amused or entertained. Simply
to meet for the interchange of goodwill and
cordiality, the usual current of life going on
undisturbed, the habits of the family remain.
ing unchanged--that is the true social visit
The man who knows how to "drop in" Of an
evening draws his chair up to your hearth as
if it were his own, and fall into the usua
evening routine Of the household as if he
were n member of it-how welcome hC
always is The man who comes to stay un
der your roof for season, and who, without
being intrusive or familiar, makes you fee
that he is at "home" with you aud is conten
in his usual fashion Of occupation--how de-
lightIul guest he is Aud the houses
alb how few OF them into which one cat
60 for day or week and feel sure tina
the family routine is in no wise altered, the
family comfort is in no wise lessencd, but, OF
the contrary, increased by his presence
what JOY it is to cross their thresholds
What good harbors of refuge they are to tn,
weary wanderers
When the world mends its ways in thes
regards, when these essentials are fulfilled
the lost art OF conversation will revive hos
pitality will be worthy of its name ; and
househoding and home keeping become, al
they ought to be, the greatest pleasure a
man can have.-N Y. Independent.