The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-11-23

tailof's bill.-lN. Y. Com. Adv.
BE content with what you have 80
the rat said 10 the trap when he lsft his
tail in H.
A 81 Louis man ran ain blocks after
his nose. thinking he was going 10 Gre.
In. Y. Herald.
Why was the 6rst Of September like
the transsression Of Adam1 Because 10
was the beginning Of the Fall.
Huxley wears mines. which IL evidences
enough that be u not over here on .
bottles crrand.-lD DAnbury News
ornitbologists tell us that The owl 10
wise bird. lie certainly a very sol.
emn'un.-tN. Y. Com Adv
/ False hair IL nov made 20 initiate real
hair 20 closely that u is hardly possible
TO tell which is suitch.-tNorwieh Bul.
lctin.
"Mrs Pariinglon" is solioilous 70 know
whether q man who dips his can into .
tank Of water is eAn-tank-erous man.
Would u be proper 10 call a retired
/ liquor dealers country estate a barown-
ial mansion1-lN. Y. Com. Adv.
These new styles Of panlers do away
with newspaper bustles. and = journal
must run on he merits alone Detroit
Free Press
A young lady. on being aaked uhat
business her lover was In and not liking
10 say he bottled soda. answered; Hes
a practising hzzieiAn."
The Sultan continues 10 have dslirium
tremens, and thinks he sees Ben. Butler
coming up stairs with = hustle on.-lN.
Y. Herald.
Awkward ornaments-A well moulded
arm IL prettier without bracelets, be-
sides, they are liable 10 scratch fellows
ear
A brewer having been drowned In one
Of his own vats. Alas poor fellow" said
Jekyll, floating on ha own uatsry
biert"
Nearly all the postofiees In Texas are
10 charge Of females" II works 40 wall
that the males nov arrive and depart
every hour in the day.
London policemen are 10 have cork
helmets The cork 10 supposed 10 pre-
serve their hza ique and 70 increase their
Pularity.-tPhiladelphiA Bulletin.
Mrs. Stove says We never know how
much We love until wc try 10 unlove To
man who has tried 70 quit smoking
this needs no argumont.-t Yonkers oa-
Eette.
Nearly every man tells his wife there
i another man In town who closely 70.
ssmbles him, and who 10 frequently seen
coming out Of saloons.-l RooklAnd Cour.
Ter.
1t is easier for a camel 10 90 through
the knee OF an idol than Tor a rich man
TO enter heaven" Il the interpretation
which eolored preacher gave 10 the
Scriptures.
Marriage is promotion" says George
Eliot. In the eyes of such a reaaonrr
man with hia third wife would doubtless
pass for brigAdier general.-IR Rochester
Democrat
man in Burlington. Iowa. has used
tobacco freely for ninety-siK years aud
still lives. But then (adds the fnter-
Ocean) he ehewed Century"
The verses. Il love 20 steal a While
= weigh" are supposed 10 have been
written By a grocer given 10 short mcaa-
nres IN. Y. Com. Adv.
BY "the Governor. ."-Irs hard work 10
keep your sons In check while they're
young: its harder still 70 keep EN- In
shccka when they grow older.
With what faculty ought . common
street thief 10 be eminently endowcd1-
IL being too hot for guessing. We give
he answer at onoel PurscpiekAoity
.Perspicaoity 81 Punch.
Very near and elegant arc the paper
collars that you can now buy with PIC.
urc Of George Washington on each cor
Ter. Martha is supposed 10 be on be-
lind sewing on the button.
Exchanges all say. Look out for coun-
erfeit halt dollar coins dated 1858. 1875.
md 1870. its the other kind 40 are
ooking out for. and without much sue
.ess, either.-[oswego Palladium.
Paris has perfumsd hats" says an ex.
hangc That's nothing neu. Pass
round = hat here any time In New York
nd ia sure 10 have a scent or two IN it
IN. Y. Com. Adv.
Hope l. said TO be brightest when 10
iiul thought but IL seldom occurs to
nan who has just got up OF his wiie's
lew hiatt Brooklyn Argus.
Much has been said Of the enormous
consumption Of tobacco. aud yet you will
- surprised TO find how fcu men use u
Fhen your supply gives out and you ask
or a chew savannah News.
A tramp was recently met by hospi.
able farmer in wcstchcster. who asked
lim II he wanted work NO" replied
He tramp; what I want IL q bloody
hirla plenty Of money"
A Connecticut school marm, who vas
eccntly kissed In the dark BY mistake.
explained her omission 20 use any light
or nearly two weeks afterwards on the
round Of hard times Brooklyn Ar.
,us.
Tho British Government allows ita
oldiera a regular ration Of alo Many Of
,ur soldiers wish that our Government
90 could be brought 10 consider tho
-ation-alo OF such a procccding-lN. Y.
3om. Adv.
There ia man In Newark 20 close
hat when he attends church he occupies
Ihe pew farthest from the pulpit 70 save
The Interest on hts money while the col
Iectors are passing the plate for oontritu-
lions.
Il suppose" said a quack. while feel.
ing patients pulse. that you consider
mo a humbuE How odd u II. res
ponded tho patient. that you can 90 ae-
tell mans thoughts By feeling
his pulse"
Patient 10 his doctor-"And u Il really
true that shall recover 2 "infallibly.'