The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-12-14

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opening2 yes, sir; a Kind and con
siderate carpenter, foreseeiag your
visit, left an opening for yea. Turn
the knob to the right"
A sub editor aud a reporter we're
quarreliing one day ia the EDITORS
room. "You are anotherf" repsied
he reporter. promptly. "Pooh?
pooh r. retorted the sub editor. avou
are the greatest donkey I know -
''Gentlemea, gentlemen!' said the
editor, looking up from his desk,
'.you forget, I think, that I am pres
eat2"
Oh, mamma. that's Capt. Jones'
knock I kno0 he has come to
ask me to be his wifer
"Well my dear You must accept
him"
But thought you hated him
SOP
Hate him2 do-so much, that
mean to be his mother in lawr'
We ate piece Of mince pie last
night, and then dreamed that a
twelve-foot giant dressed in pea
green boiler iron, ornamenied with
red hot horse shoes, and who wore
railroad spikes for coat tails, was
sitting down on our breast while
he pulled on a pair of water pipe
elbows for boots.
The the good old days are dead
and gone; the rich eoloring has
faded out Of the warp and woor OF
the past, and yet we rejoice thar it
is true that pretty woman cannot
ride by her lovers side through a
tunnel ithout emerging in hat
that looks as if it had been struck
by lighting.
"What a traveller you have be
cpmeg" exclaimed a Boslonian on
meeting ar acquaintance at Con.
-lantinople. "ro tell you the srutl,."
W the lrank l4'ply, "Im ob ICED Q
an about the wuai'l Ia keep ahead
OF my characters lor the moment 1t
overtakes me- l AIN ruined"
Two gallons OF whisky were con-
,umcd by a colored man beiore he
recovered from the bite of a taran-
tula. II was then discovered that
he had been stung by a wasp Tie
men who contributed the whisky
were too mad 70 speak above a
whisper.
She-Now Charles. dear, 10 be
sincere and tell the truth Tor once
& your life; don't yeu love baby
Just a little bitS lIe-WeIl, Mary,
can't say exactly that I love the
little brai, but I've a sort OF sus alking
respect for him for bis fathe. sake.
There was certain laughabie
streak of human nature. in that
man Of total abstinence who, on
drinking a milk punch by mistake.
enthusiastically cried out: ~Heav-
ensl What a eowl Is she for saie2'
Some lazy fellows ia THIS section
would do well to ponder over what
Josh Billings says. at IL a create
deal cheaper to work thaa it is to
beg. Emmy man kan earn two dol-
lars while he is begging one"
Josh Billings remarks: "The on
ly way to get through this world
and escape ceusure aud abuse. is to
take some back road. You can't
travel the main ru-npikc and do it.
The late campaign shows that q
man need not know anything to
talk politics. A mighty little knosi-
edge and a heap Of brass viii go far
ther in politics than anywhere else.
When you see a man trying to
clean a paper c.,llar with pieee Of
rubber, you can make up your
mind that he has been hit by the
hard times.
A child being asked wuat we're
the three greatest feasts OF the jews
promptly and not unnatuealiy re-.
piled: Breakfast, dianer and sup
per-"
Murder VIII Ont.
A few years ngo August FioweFn
was discoveries to toe Il certain cure for
DyspepSia and Liver complaints 3 few
lllin Dyspeptics sssasie kn0~u q their
friends how easily AID quickly they lted
teen cured by ilsttse. tn greet merits