The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-02-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


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The whole essence of true gentle
breeding lies in the wish, ana art, to be
agreeable. Good breeding is surface
Christianity.
FRIENDSHIP is like debt of honor;
the moment it is talked of it loses it's
real name and assumes the ungrateful
form of obligation. 1a
POPULAR glory is perfect coquette;
her lovers must toll, feel every in
quietude, indulge every caprice, and
perhaps be Tilted at last.
"Have you any nice fresh farmers
eggs?" inquired a precise old lady at a
Main Street grocery.store yesterday;
"No, ma'am,'' replied the practical
clerk, "but we have some very good
hens eggs" She took three to try
Springfield Mass Union.
A DANBURY man, wishing to engage
several bushels of potatoes from party
in. the suburbs, asked q neighbor what
sort of a man he was: "Well, said the
| conscientious neighbor, 81 don't know
very much about him, but l should think
he would make tip-top stranger. -
| Danbury Meas. &R ~
A HANDSOME young lady, whose
mirthfulness in car on the Cincinnati
train yesterday morning attracted the
attention of friends and elected remark,
stated by way of apology that she was
on her way to attend the funeral of an
aunt whom she dearly loved, and if she
didn't laugh why she'd have to cry!-
D0yton Democrat.
A CORRESPONDENT in California tells
this: The meanest and one of the most
stingy men of this town, named Mr.. T.,
was taken suddenly i'll and not expected
to recover. He asked to have his will
made out, which was accordingly DONE
After reading it over to him carefully
he arose almost instantly from his bed,
drew on his pantaloons leisurely, and
was heard to exclaim: "Egad, this is
too much to leave any man. He can
be seen walking the streets now as well
as ever.-DetroH Free Press.
THE other day German, leaning
against hitching post on Washington
Street, looked up at the sky and remark
ed: 81 guess a leedle it viii rain some
dime poorly queek.'' Yees do,
eh?'' replied an Irishman at
his side. swell, l want yees to un-
derstand that yees have no bisness to
come over to America and say any
thing furninst the weather. Plat the
divel do yees purteend to know about
American weather, any how, ye furrin
galoot?'' The German had no more to
Ncksburg Herald.
AS he entered the cabin he found the
old woman and her new husband en-
gagged in the woodworking, back-act-
ing, reciprocative performance of pull
ing each others hair. They reversed
engines for moment as he entered.
aStranger, said he, "she was my
wife, but I've heard tell as you've mar
ried her. l shall never introod on your
domestic bliss agen; but l warns you
right here, bein' man as don't like to
see his neighbor took in, that this is a
game whar you don't stand no show
Stranger, she can draw to bob-tail an
make full hand airy time.'' Then he
bowed, lifting his hat from bald head,
and withdrew. Cincinnati Times.
/ BABY's SoLILoQUY.--I am here. And
if this is what they call the world. l
don't think much of it. It's very Ham
nelly world, and smells of paregoric
awfully. It's dreadful light world,
too, and makes me blink, I tell you.
And don't know what to do with my
hands; I think I'll dig my fists in my
eyes. No, / won't; III scrabble at the
corner of my blanket and chew it up,
and then I'll holler; whatever happens
I'll holler. And the more paregoric
they give me the louder I'll yell. That
old nurse puts the spoon in the corner
OF my mouth in very uneasy way, and
keeps tasting my milk herself all the
while. She split snuff in it last night,
and when hollered, trotted me. That
came of being two-days' old baby
There's a pin sticking in me now, and
if say a word about it III be trotted OF
fed; and would rather have catnip tea
I'll tell you who am. I found out to-
day. I heard folks say. sHush, don't
wake up Emeline's baby;' and l sup.
pose that pretty white faced woman ovel
on the pillow is Emeline. No, wa.
mistaken: for chap was in here JUS
now, and wanted to see Bob's baby
; and looked at me and said, 81 was /;
funny little toad, and looked just likt
Bob" He smelt of cigars. 1 wonder
who else belong to. Yes, there's an
other-that's ssGamma." It was ssGam
J mas baby, so it was.' I declare d.
J not know who belong to; but I'll hol
: Ter, and maybe TN find out Their
comes Snuffy with catnip tea. I'm go
J ing to sleep. wonder why my hand
won't 60 where want them to.