Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1876-12-11
What Leading Citizens Of StauutO II
Think Of the Situation.


Think Of the Situation.
Nig. Coiner came down into the Vindicator
Office yesterday uorning, and asked us the
news. We told him there was none. Well,
when did we expect any? 1t was impossible
to tell. What did MIR. Tilden think2 What
did Mr. Stuart thiuk? What did We think ?
Did Mr.. Yost think he would have to give up
the postoffioe? Il he gave it up who would
get it3 Was Grant acting cOnstitutonally, and
who would be collector in this district Here
We called up reporter, and said
"You ust take qulre OF paper aud some
pencils, and go and find out what this gentle.
man wants to know. See 'em all, and If you
don't see 'em, fix it up. 4 reporter that don't
know what man ought to say amt fit for the
crisis. No subscriber to this paper shall want
to know anything long If we can help it. -
He came back in an hour with the following
full and clear exposition of public opinion:
MR.. STUART.
hlr. Stuart our reporter found just dampen-
ING stamp for letter to MIR. Corcoran, of
Washington. The reporter remarked
"NIr. Stuart, the country people are very
anxious to know what you think about affairs
at Washington.
.sThink, sir - said Mr. Stuart, afixing the
stamp by mistake to IAN act entitled 40 act 10
re.enact an act Think ! thnk it was one
of the noblest of acts Next to Mr. Peabody,
MIR. Corcoran, by his tenetuction to the Uni
versity of Virginia, stands
"Yes; but, Mr.. Stuart, the political situation
how about that e
'Ah-h-h p said Mr.. Stuart, slowly peeIiDg
off the stamp. that is another question. When
was 10 Mr.. Fillmore cabinet the mere intro
10 q
State would have produced an explosion which
:, barrel Of nitro. .glycerine would have envicd.
They didn't do things ip that way 10 those
days, sir.
And here Mir. Stuart reiapsed into hummine
staye of "Auld Lang Syne, from which the
reporter found it impossible to arouse him.
THE POSTMASTER.
The reporter next visited the postofioe, as
the headquarters ofthe enemy, and found Major
Yost adding up his monthly report for the
Washington department. take seat, said
the Major. "till | add up this column, and
see how this thing stands" When be had
finished, our reporter Informed hlm OIL ms
business. ,. ;, ;,
round, "Whle it is not my practice to give ln-
formation to licentious and depraVed demo.
cratic press, l may say this much to you, that
Ulysses Grant today stands head and and should
ers above George Washington. For states
msnsbip and genuine love and regard for the
liberties of the people, for wise guidance OF the
shin of State; for purity OF intentions and utter
unsel6shuess, and Tor keen knowledge OF men,
he can walk around any man that has lived 10
the present century. . =,
"Major, do you thiuk the present Crisis VIII
pass peacefolly?'
ut is impossible to say, slr. hear tha1 tue
rebels of Beverly Manor arc mastering troops
to capture the postoficc, but am ready ior
them. General IIeber Ker will hold The ap-
nroaches to the city, aud COL NlcCue will man
age the rebels residing within The corporate
limits. l."
A yoice-"Pleasc, sir, pa wants eight letter
stamps and one cent paper stamp ior quar-
ter"
The Maior-"You see, sir, how hard 1t Is,
with these confounded calls, Tor patriot TO
concentrate his thoughts on our grand and glo.
rious country, or to watch the machnatlons OF
the plotting rebels of Beverly Manor. 1t you
will call at my residence, when have mere
time. shall be glad to tell you more.
GENERAL ECuoLs TAKES A FINANCIAL VIEW.
The reporter found General Echols looking
over mass of law books.
"You know, General, how iaquisltlVe human
Don't talk to me Of human nature' SAID
the General: don't mention it. Have you
haen in the Circuit Court for the last three
weeks? The reporter nodded assent lhep'
sir. if YOU have you can understand how little
| want to hear about human nature.
"Yes! but, General, | merely wanted 70 say
that iuousitive human nature wanted to Sno"
something about our political affairs
"Well, now, that is a difficult matter. | 90 o
icye, sir, that the great american peop'o ".''
see that justice Is done. 1hey WIZ NV oo'"''
nance usurp. a-a ton. y,
MIR, Echops voice is not good, ana he u'u
not seem 10 vocal humor.
A DISSATISFIED GENTLEMAN.
We found COL Skinner with plat trying TO
make out whether the tags out at the soidiers
cemetery run north BY northeast or south o'
southwest. ;, ,,o,., o,,o,
hoor;,n onr business 'the whole thing has
been brought about By demagoguery. l tel
von air. when man like John 1. llarrs cal
he elected to Congress from such district at
this, the country is goue.
STILL HOPEFUL.
Colonel Mike Harman said be was stu nope n,
full. Samuel j. Iiden will be the next ires
idcnt and Indiana's idol son will be the mex
Vice. President. If not, Hendricks can o.
President and Tilden Vice President; or ). 5
Cox can be President and Tildep Secretary o
State: or Hendricks can be Secretary OF Stats
and Cox Collector of Internal Revenue 10 I thi
district; or Hendricks could be Munster 70 ~, Mos
land and TiIden postmaster CT Staunton. Iher
are thousand ways ont of this difficulty bu
the politicians seem not to Sec them. | a'
ready to take off my Goa; and work shoulder
shoulder with my fellow democrats for any
these propositions, or all at o"ee. '--.Staunto
Spectator.
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CULPHITE OF LIME, fne chemical, use
- to prevent IN elae nae sdu sn