davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

An AnecdOte Of Governor
Hayes.
Providence Journal


In the fall Of last year, directly
after his successful campaign for the
Governorship, Mr.. Hayes CHANGED
to be In Cleveland In attendance up
on some. important business In CON
nection with the recent campaign.
After supper he and several Of his
political friends retired to his own
apartments TO talk over recent
events, and of course, hearty congrat-
ulations were given him from all.
In the course ofthe evening some one
suggested the expediency Of Ga ling
for some champagne to rightfuHy
celebrate his recent election. Mr..
Hayes remarked that he desired
none, and would prefer to have none
brought up. The gentleman, how
ever, In spite OF his romonstranoe
went into the hall, summoned u
servant, and ordered some cham
pagene. Presently, waiter came
into the room with glasses and boz
ties Of champagne on q tray and ~
them down upon the table. Mr..
Hayes Immediately turned from the
topic conversation occupying those
present, told tho waiter 10 remove
the tray from the room without de-
lay, and remarked that he hoped tho
gentleman who had ordered the
wine would excuse him, That he
thanked him, but that IL was In di.
rect opposition 10 his principles to
partake OF any liquor at all and es-
pccially 40 under present eircum-
stances. He said: "Gentlemen, i
consider my election to tho Governor
ship worthy of better celebration.
/ think 10 would be we'll for us all,
instead OF resortIng to this kind OF
conviviality, rather to consider well
what duties and responsibilities such
an office onjoins upon me-" With
these few manly remarks the subject
was dropped. This incident, unim-
portant ms IL may appear, still shows
unmiStakably the general bearing of
the mans character. Snch conduct
docs not at least belong to weak
man, Whatever may have been the
advIsability OF the action.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

A Constantinople correspondent
writes: IA fcw years ago an Eng
lishwoman named Tompkins, who
kept shop Mt Pera, summoned
from England, 10 aid her In her bust
ness, a young niece, who proved to
be extremely pretty aud no less intel
ligent. Soon after her arrival she
took 1t into her head to study Turk
ish, representing to her Aunt that
such knowledge would be Of great
advantage to their trade, as the
Turkish ladies would naturally pre-
fer to make their purchases where
they could be understood without
tho aid OF an Interpreter. As the
young girl was at once clever, ambi-
tious, and industrious, she soon sue
ceeied In acquiring the language,
and numbers of female members OF
the noblcst Turkish families came to
the English shop. Ono day the
pretty niece went to the harem OF
Prince Murad 10 take home some
articles ordered by his principal
wife. She never returned, and
when her aunt sent In search Of her
shc received u cool message OF fare
well from The young lady herself,
who had become the fourth wife Of
the heir to tho throne, who Is the
present Sultan
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

Soap suds may be used with great
advantage for manuring grape vines.
Downing says he has seen an Isabel
la grape vine produce 5000 fine cins-
tiers of well ripened fruit in season,
by the liberal use Of manure and soap
suds from the weekly wash. The eli
fccts OF soap suds on other plants are
remarkable.
Look out for swindiers. In Tus-
carawas county, Ohio. parties were
lately arrested for swindling and sell
ing feed steamers. They will proba-
bly, como to Iowa now. This warn
ing IL not intended to prejudice any
regular business man in the State
who is doing legitimate business In
steamers. But be on your guard for
tramps Of all kinds.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

i The Monaghan workers, house SER
wants, laundrymen, and others, In
Me city, says the San Francisco Cat
kre pretty well advised Of the Anti
Chinese agitation at present In prog.
kess, and the growing hostility to
my further immigration. Even the
poorest among them are beginning
10 look at the question In purely
business light, and to consider how
'he movement will effect them in
1ividually. Take the following In
idont as an example Of the direction
"a which their thoughts turn:
"John," said gentleman to his
sd- maker, tho other morning, "by-
md by no more Cinnamon come 10
AN Francisco. Sabe?"
"Yes," was the reply; "me sabe."
SLOW do you like that"
"Me likee," very sententiousIy, as
" punched the pillow.
"What for you likee?'
"Bimeby no more Chila boy come
<yelly good. Milican man no wan
servant. Chilla boy scface;
hite boy sclace; white girl sclace.
re get more menoy. Fifteen della
ap now. Bimeby thirty dolla.
abe?''
Tho gentleman addressed did
Dabe,n and concluded his almond
ved scrvitor had got some idea of
Dliticai economy into his head
Ithout the aid OF Adam Smith or
ean baptist Say.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
Agricultural Item y.
Ico,npiled from state Register. ]


One citizen OF Hardin county has
threshed twenty acres of wheat and
got thirty eight bushels.
If there be an idle hour, see that
no foul weeds go to seed in fence cor
ncrs, or any byway.
Boys should bear In mind that
stealing apples or watermelonsa as the
beginning Of life Of crimo,
This Is about the latest date at
which strawberries can be transplant
ed, with tho hope of crop next
spring.
The hog cholera Is killing many
hogs la North Carolina. Tennessee,
and Missouri, as well as Indiana and
Illinois.
There are TO be eleven head oil
Princess sold at Philadelphia on Sep
tember 18th, by Mr.. Wadsworth.
Thirteen million Of dollars in sill
yer has been issued TO redeem postal
currency, and the first dime reached
this rural district August 10, 1876.
For late pasture this fall, and for
early picking for sheep and cattle
next spring. now Is the time TO sow
rye. This crop for pasture Ia not
sufficiently appreciated. 4
BY reference, TO our importatiops,
Il can be seen that we import from
Russia bas-wood bark In. eonsidcfa-
BILE quantities. It's used by nurse
rymen. But this shows how ioolishly
our money goes abroad.
II Ii the universal testimony Of u
>eas1fwSS 4tnuk1axu ffkSt cx.ru II 80 e s.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
To Dry on Cows.

AS the time approaches for drying
off (which ought TO beat least six
weeks, and better two months, be-
fore calving) all food calculated TO
stimulate the production Of milk
ought 10 be withhcld-such rs bran,
shorts and large feeds Of rcSss-and
good sound old hay DO made the
basis OF the ration. With moder-
ate quantity Of corn meal If the COW
Is very poor, which however, she
ought not to be IL she has been prop
erly fed before. Begin TO dry off by
only milking once day, and. as the
flow diminishes, every day. When
the flow becomes so small that IL docs
not pay 70 milk longer for profit,
comes the tine when, In careless
hands, mIschiefis mostimmInent; e.
pecialIy with the better class Of cows,
which dry with difficulty. The milk
ought not to be left more than two
days undrawn 80 long as any Is So
creted, and, contrary to q prevalent
notion, we believe 1t Is always bet
ter to entirely empty the bag rather
than leave portion under the idea
that 1t would hurry up the process.
1t Is well TO examine tho udders OF all
the cows every day to see that no
hard Jumps are formed, since these
hard Jumps are the spots where the
trouble will begin after calving.
Then in time they may often be dis
persed by friction, either dry or with
glycerine, which Is far better for the
purpose than any watery or greasy
application. A dose Of half a pound
Of EPSON salts, with large spoon
fui Of ginger, mixed In enough bran
TO disguise the taste, may be necessa-
~; Q. {; tablespoonful OF powdered
saitpetre may be tried and be repeat
ed daily il other treatment does not
dispense the Jumps. mall such cases
an ounce of prevention is worth
many pounds Of cure. More cows
are spoiled In drying off than In any
other way. Not only are they apt to
have one or more quarters of the I'D
der ruined In the process when care
lessly conducted, but even when this
Is avoided the foundation may be
laid for subsequent attacks Of garget
and the milk-producing power be
permanently diminished. We lay
1t down as principle that at no time
should painful distention Of the I'D
der be allowed. 1t Is cruel as 1t is
unwise and as unwise as 1T Is cruel.
This Is true both before and after
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
lst. Charles Loader ]

Isl. Charles Leader
II Tramps arc numerous. In short
hey are most numerous. Tho world
warns with tramps. IL always
warmed with them. IL always
Will.
4 Tho first men were tramps. Pa
Hriarchal tramps, itinerant n organ
Srindors or the Wandering jew.
& Herodotus and Homer were va
rants who have left Us record
- their wanderlngs. lllustrious
<omps.
History Is a record of tramps. Her
- Srriors were oftcner than otherwise
Snndercrs. Belligeront tramps.
~ philosophers were still more 30.
tAtes and Plato demonstrated
go the difference between the sage
- the vagrant 10 not SO great after
Diogenes was the lowest kind
~ ! tramp content to live In tub.
Low IL detracis from tho glory OF
$50 names 10 reflect that philoso-
hers are more apt 10 be trampsiilan
nmps arc 70 be philosophers.
The worlds saints were tramps.
wandering about In sheep skins and
Roat skins, Prosecuted tranps.
Even tho Savior, born In q manger.
was peripatetic to the close OF bis
Dministrations, which were only
rampings through Galilee. Pull
- Apollos were beggars, Mahopet
was : i6gisive, sh Patrick and as
ramps.
italian harpers muss derive ALI.
c.'on Rom the thought that 1h,,
nDus was like themselves tran !
q IN unlucky tramp 10.
nen there ara literary snmub--
siss Fdss'1P se i f;'l.q lyb.ss. IA. fYsass{ss
s!lep Rpt eRaa q lhem thsrS Il
Nv en1 Q(lI1 Ivhose aIo-
~ will nevex fkde W660 Ilkev|I i
Namps. Last and lowssf or klI.
more degraded than Indian parishs
~ Eiolian laxaront, ase prIskcr
1rnmps. We leave tlse illusirnijon
~ their virtues 70 abIss hanls. May
saysn have: mercy on Thorn. for we
pyer will.
- tho whole We are mono Of u
1hing moro than txampa we
through tho world and 1rnlnp
" and never arIslug Shows ~
hlIIug below u, and hlgh
rise 81 othexw'isA we nre
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

A very good reason for voting the
Republican ticket was offered by an
N German Democrat, few days
kuo. when mo said: II have been a
democrat, all my life, and even in
Ind during the war l called myself
4 Democrat still; but now / zee ar
tayed against the Republican candi-
hates all the old enemies OF the war
those who constantly Insisted that
var was failure, and that the South
eould never be coerced into the Uu-
ION. i see, also. that the Democratic
barty claim an undivided South a.
roing against the Republican party
ia tho coming Presidential election;
! see tho two men who head tho
ticket as q part Of the
erowd who opposed the prosecution
81 tho war for the suppression Of the
and / think II is time for
INC to join the ranks Of the friends OF
the Union.u
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

the weather cock, with his pants
torn, and they couldent get him
down for three days, 80 he hung
there, going round and round with
the wind. and he lived by eating the
crows that came and sat on him,
because they thought he was sheet
iron, and put up there on purpose.
He had more fun than enough.
He was telling me, the other day,
bout sausage stufier his brother in
vented. 1t was kind of a mashine
that works with a treadic; and Bill
said the way they did In the fall was
to fix IL on the hogs back, and con-
meet the treadle with string, and
then the hog'd work the treadle and
keep on running IL up and down UNI
Gil the machine cut the hog all up
fino and showed the meat Into the
skins. Bill said his brother called
IL, EVERY hog his own suffer" and
il worked splendid. But don't
know. 1t pears TO mes IL there
couldn't be no machine like that.
But, anyway, Bill said so.
And no told me about an uncle Of
his out in Australia, who was ct by
q big oyster once, and when he got
inside he stayed there until he'd OF
the oyster Then he split tho shell
open and took one for boat, and he
sailed along until he met a sea-ser-
pant, and he killed ii and traded off
It's skin, and when he got home he
sold II to an engine company for a
hose for forty thousand dollars,
to put out fires with. Bill said that
was actually 80, because he could
show me man that used to belong
to the engine company. l wish
father'd let me go out 30 find sea
serpant like that; but nc don't let
me have no chance to distinguish
myself.
Bill was saying only yesterday,
that the Indians caught him once
and drove ii railroad spikes through
his stomach and cut off his scalp, and
never hurt him bit. He said no
got away by the daughter Of the
chief shaking him out OF the wig
warm, and leading him horse,
Bill said she was In love with him,
and when / asked him 10 let me SEQ
the holes where they drove in those
spikes, he said he darsn't take off
his clothes or he'd bleed TO death.
He said his father didn't know IL
because Bill WAS afraid it might
worry tho old man.
And Bill told me they wasn't
going to get him TO go TO Sunday
School. lie says his father has q
brass idol that he keeps in the garnet
and Bill says he's made up his mind
to be a pagan, and begin to go naked,
and carry a tomahawk, and bow and
arrow, rs soon as warm weather
comes. And to provo 1t to me, he
8 iys lhis father has the town all
underlaid with nitro-glycerine, and
al soon as no gets ready he's going
TO blow tho old thing out, and burst
her up let her rip and demolish her.
lie said 30 down at the dam, and tole
me not to tell anybody, but !
thought they'd be no harm in men
tioning II to you.
And now / believe must he go
Ing. hear Bill a .whistling. May
be he's got something else 10 tell
me-"
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

tic medicine that can be employed cleans
ING the stomach and bowels, and even the
blood. In small doses Of one pill a day,
they stimulate the digestive organs and
promote vigorous health.
AYERS Pills have been known for
more than quarter Of century, and have
obtained worldwide reputation for their
virtues. They correct diseased action IN
the several assimilative organs OF the
body, and are SO composed that obstruc-
tons within their range can rarely with
stand or eyade them. Not only do they
cure the everyday complaints Of every
body, but also formidable and dangerous
diseases that have bafilcd the best Cd
human skill While they produce power
full effects, they are, at the same time, the
safest and best physic for children. By
their aperien, action they grippe much less
than the common purgatiyes, and never
give pain when the bowels are not infiamed.
They reach the vital fountains of the blood,
and strengthen the system by freeing Il
from the elements Of weakness.
Adapted 20 all ages and conditions In
all climates, containing neither calomel
nor any deleterious drug, these Pills may
be taken with safety by anybody. Their
sngar-coaiing preserves them ever fresh,
and makes them pleasant TO take; whiie
being purely vegetable, no harm can arse
from their use in any quantity.
PREPARED nv
Or. &c. AVER 4 CO., Lowell, Mass,
Practical and AnaIytica, Chesni.ss.
sQII, gr ALL DkuGIIsIs EVERYWHERE
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
gEusvg 1 1Es y!!sss RAILWAY.
No, $50 TINE TABLE. 1876.

Al Keokuk, with the Toledo Wabash y Mes
tern: Toledo Peoria x Warsaw The Nhiragn
Burlington a. Quincy; the 81 Louis. keokuk n
Northwestern Railways and The Packets on the
Mississippi River.
Az Pennington, with the Burlington * south
western Railway,
Al Eldon, with tbc Ciicas0. Rock Island d
Pacific Railroads. Southwestern kranehesb
AZ OttumwA with the burlington Missoilfi
River and tie a. Louis, Kansas CITY * northern
Railroads. - .
AZ Eddyyillc Transfer, with the Central Rail
road of Iowa.
IA Des Moincs and Altoona. with tlle Chicago,
Rock Island Il Pacific Railroad.
AZ Dos NoincE, with the Des Moines a Fort
Dodge Railroad.
Sleeping Cars on all Night Trains.
GEU H. GRIGGE, Gcni supt
JOHN GIyIN, Goa Ticket Agent.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
AneCdOte tibet Exactly H.
Illustrates the Case.

Licius Bigelow, Of Burlington, VI.
poke at the great Rutland Hayes
nd Wheeler demonstration the 9TH
J evoning. Bigolow Ia known az a
and his speech reused peal
ter peal of laughter among his
nditors. lie said his situation re-.
$lnded him OF scene In New
FORK police court. Two Irish wo-
1en had been arrested for fighting,
hen the Judge asked Mrs. Maio-
by 10 tell tho circumstances.
4" Well, you see your honor, j was
Ding down sthrect wild mo basket
I fish, and who should / meet hit
xrs. O'Flaherty. Good day.
nys l.
~ 'Throth an il Is foin day. says
-.
s." 'Will you be after buyin' mo fish,
nys l.
I" Throth an i will not says
'For why says ].
They're sphoilod,' says she.
you lie,' says /.
'Whoo-op!' says she, and wo had
b.
Now suppose Tilden isolccted. and
do attompt to cross hands over
70 bloody chasm. The south and
|Drth advance amicably enough.
s'Good mornin," says the south.
"Faith AN tits a foine mornin, 7"
Us the north.
assure, an it's pleasant to DO
lends once moro In such foin wealth
An will yez be after pain me
u slaves aud Just settlin' up mo lit.
D debt this foin morning'?' says
NJ south.
"Troth, an / will not" says the
nth.
ssAn' for why,?" says tho south.
ss'Thc debts arc none Of mine, md
u slaves wrested from you by
1nr,n says tho north.
lie, you devil" says The
NTH.
20 Whoo.op!' says tho north, and
here you have IL.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

They had lecture on phrenology
In Norristown short time ago from
a travelling professor Of that science,
and part Of 1t was quite entertaining.
He had ON the stand several plaster
heads mapped out in town lots, and
after he explained what they meant
he invited persons In the audience to
come up and let him feel their bumps
and explain their characters. Sever
al times he hit pretty accurately, and
excited a considerable amount OF APP
plause, but after while old ID.
stepped up for examination.
He is an absent-minded man, and
ne wears wig. While dressing him.
self before coming to tho lecture he
had placed the wig on the bureau and
accidently tossed his plug Of tobacco
In il. When he put the wig on II
was just like him not to notice the
glug, and so when he mounted the
platform he had lump big as half
hens egg. The professor fingered
about awhile over DIS head, and
then said:
1--WE have here a somewhat re-
markable skull. The perceptive fac
ulties strongly developed +; reflective
faculties quite good ideality large;
reference so great AZ TO be unusual,
and benevolence very prominent.
Secretiveness Is small, and the sub
ject, therefore, Is man OF candor
and frankness; he communicates
what he knows freely. We have al
So said the professor, still blowing
his fingers through DIS hair, lin
quisitivcness not large, the subject ID
not grasping, avaricious man; he
lives literally, he-he-he-. Why,
IL can't be! Yes. Why, what in
tho! Munificent Moses! that's the
most awful development of combat
ivencss ever heard Of! Are you n
prize fighter, eh g'
Prize-fghter exclaimed ID.
Why, what do you mean ?''
"Never boon a soldier or pirate, or
anything like that 20
you certainly must be crazy"
Amt you fond Of going into
scrimmages and rows, and hammer
ing people?"
Certainly not" answered d., in
dignantly.
well, sir, then you're untrue TO
your nature. The way your heads
Municipalities you, should say, In a
special manner, ss a knocker-down
and dragger-out. If you want to
fulfill your mission you will devote
tho remainder Of your lifo to batter
ing up your fellow men and keeping
yourself In one interminabie and
eternal muss. You've got the aw-
fullest bump that ever decorated IA
human skull. It's phenomenal.
What'lI you take for your head when
You die? Gentlemen, this man Is H.
ablo mt any moment to commence
ranging around this community like
a wildcat, banging you with a club
or anything TINT comes handy. Ii
isn't safe for him To be OF large"
Then ID. put his hand up TO feel the
bump, and he noticed the tobacco.
lie pulled off his wig, and there was
the plug sticking behind hts left ear.
Then the professor looked at it q mo-
ment In confusion, and said
Ladies and gentlemen, we viii
now the lecture Is that IL, | have
no moro. Boy turn out those
tights"
Then the audience laughed, and ID.
put on his wig, and the professor
started to catch the late train.
The science OF phrenology is not as
popular I'm Norristown as IL was, and
ID. still remains peaceable.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

Sick Headaches can generally be
relieved by soaking tho feot In very
warm water, In which spoonful Of
mustard has been stirred. Soak ~
long as possible, or Till the water gets
cool; IL draws tho blood from the
head. Another quieting remedy is
10 scald sour milk till IL wheys of;
make bag Of thin muslin, and strain
II off. not very dry. and put the curi
in the bag, upon the head, as warm
as II can.be borne; IL will relieve the
pain In few moments. Some such
simple remedies arc fur preferable 70
drugs or TO doctors prescriptions;
they relieve as quickly, and are
cheaper, as we'll N more readily APP
~nAsssxI
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
MIR. smiths BOY.

A family named Smith has recent
10y removed TO Gormantown, and Mr..
Browns boy, on Saturday, leaned
over the fence and gave to our ro-
porter his Impressions of Mr.. Smiths
boy, a lad OF about IA years:
Yes, me and him are right well &C
quainted now; he knows more'n !
do, and he's had more experience.
Bill says his father used to boa rob-
Der tSmith by tho way, 10 n Deacon
In tina Presbyterian church, and q
very excellent lawyer and that he
had ten million dollars In gold buri.
cd In his ce!!er, along with whole
lot OF human bones, people he's kill
ed. And he says that his father 10 a
conjurcr; and that he makes all the
earthquakes that happen anywhere
In tho world. The old man will
como home at night after there's
been an earthquake, all covered
with sweat, and 50 tired he can hard
ly stand. Bill says II Is hard work.
And Bill tole me, that once when
man come saround there trying to
sell lightning rods, his father got
mad and ct him right up, and he
takes bites out OF everybody he comes
across. That's what Bill tells roe;
that's all l know about IL. And he
told me that once he used to have a
dog, one Of those little kind OF dogs,
and he was flying his kite and, just
for fan. he tied the kite string 10 bis
dog stall. And then the wind struck
her and his dog went booming down
I % stroet, with his hind legs In the
sii0S1I - mile, when tho kite
air, for bon! Ito go up, andsin
q : sudden begSl, was Is miles
oout . minute tho dct view of
eagns 40 copmapding ~, |
Anyd0ws xi6T, III Brsxii. ami mi
said he swum homo all the wey -
ne q tlAntic oceen and whom Ne lana.
s. nis ~ q nibbled ~ ~
Iwish Iathcr'd buy mo 1 <lor - i
could sond him that sway. 1sut !
never have any luck. BiIi aid that
where they used TO live 10 wens ouS
on The roof one day q nv his kite.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

"My boy" said solemn-visaged
Evangelist to lad who he'd just
emerged from hair-pulling match
with another boy, do you expect to
rove hereafter ina land of delight?"
ssNo," said the lad; "I've busted
another button off'n my trousers,
and I expect to get licked for H."
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31
Ayers Cathartic Pills,

For all the purposes OF a Family Physic.
and for curing CostIveness, Jaundices
Indigestion, Foul Stomach, Breath,
Headache, Erysipclas, Hheumasism.
Eruptions and Bkin Diseases, Bii-
iousness, Dropsy, Tumors, worms,
Neuralgia, as q Dinner Pill,
for Purifying tho Hood,
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1876-08-31

A Judge is sentencing man TO
death, observed: 'Prisoner at the
bar, you will soon have TO appear
before another and perhaps batter
itIfipe' ',