The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1876-01-06
TAKING A DRIVE.
Unhnppy Incidents Of Mr.. ANA hr"'
CTcnmiy's TIrsi and only Experience"
win - Stable Horse.

Unhappy Incidents of Mr.. and Mr."
gTcnmIJ's TIrsi md only Experience
WIN u stable Horse.
From the Boston Commercial Bulletin
The hostlcr, rs he handed Mr.. Creamy
the rcins, looked obviously Mt his gold.
bowed gprctaclcs, and asked him, IN :
rather pertinent impcrtincnt, accordIn.
TO Mr., Creamy would perhaps be Tho
better adjcctiyc) tone, if he was used t.
driving and it was with vivid r]croIIrc
tons Of the family horse over who's,
back he had nickcd the braided Ia,b ii
boyhood's sunny hours that he assumed
look Of lofty surprise rs he answered
"CcrlainIy my good man-Ict 90 OF M.
head"
There are horses and horses.
The pcomclricaI stccd Of Mr., oliver
CrcamIy's childhood, whose back bore Il
SINGULAR resemblance to the ycncra-
bic hair trunk which was in the
attic, was impcryiOus TO IIagcIIation,
and indeed Oliver thought he
used rather to enjoy it, except when it
reused him rrom his sweet sIumbcrs in
which he often INDUCED when conveying
him 10 town.
But this horse Of which we now speak
was an equine Gcnd, and Mr., Creamy
had hardly given the order 10 the hostIcr
IA above stated, before he rcpcntcd his
rl-hnc-s, and but for pride would have
exclaimed, "Catch hold Of his head y
For ne Immediately took occasion TO
erect himself in 4 sudden manner upon
his hind legs, and the thought fitted
through Mr., CrcamIy's agonlzcd brain,
what if he should fall over backward and
break me somewhere
Mr.. Crcamly's wife was with him, and
IL /. a characteristic feature Of her sex
that her first remark, after she had ciac
uIatcd the words LAND Of compasslou,
were, "Thcrc, knew it wouldbc j%u,tso.
-a remark by No means calculated t.
soolhc the dominant passions snrging be
meath Crramly's siugIc-brcastcd waist
coast.
But when the gallant stccd had one,
moro ]rctouchrd his native earth, in Z
slang but expressive phrase, he "got ~
and dustcd' 10 that extent which r.
durcd Mr.. Crcamly's skill ~ u driver t.
merely Il frantic holding on with the
hands 10 the rcins and letting him
"oust," which he did most literally,
Mrs. Creamy, with the subIimity Of
hcroism that develops itself in the sex
under the most trying circumstances,
said that she guessed that she'd get out,
as she saw that her spouse didn't appear
to know much about driving but ~ he
hraccd his feet anew and said, "woa-
gcntly-good horscW he indicated to her
with unmarital stcrnncss, that if she
didn't keep her mouth closed she might
lose her false teeth.
Creamy concluded that he must have
been going about sever miles a minute
when the dreadful beast stopped sud
denly and unexpectedly, atthc same time
executing a sidc-wisc jump, which is
called "shying." The cause was a wheel.
barrow by the roadside, propelled by a
small boy; the effect was a propulsion
of Mr.. Oliver Crcamly's frame towarC
the dashcr of the carriage, and the con
tact of his wifc's head with his spina
column.
Her remarks, for obvious reasons, VT
lorbcar to repeat, but they were suggcs
tive of u total loss Of temper. one O
the flowers Of speech she used wa
"idiotic old fool % Perhaps she %rcicrrcc
to the horse, but Judging from subsc
qucut personal illusions this might b,
open 10 doubt.
Aud then the horse stood still in II dry
ditch by the roadside, occasionally look
ing round As Creamy remarked, 'Back
back, sir!' with Il pcnduIous motion Of
the under lip which was the nearest ap
proach to Il horse laugh that was ever
seen, and which, ut the same time, sug
gcstcd dcrision,
Then Creamy pulled on the rcins, n
first gently and, ~ his angry passion
s%lrmounted his fears, he pulled with
ychcmcncc which, if the rcins did no
break, gave fair promise of drawing tn,
beast through the dashcr.
Take the whip to him. said Mrs. c.
with lrritabiIity apparent in her voice
and he did 50, not without misgiyings
however, Us gratuitous advice from til,
same source had occasionally brough
him to grief. Fortunately his wife "a
down on the side of his head ~ the bugg,
went over. Perhaps she had u vague
idea that he was the horse and she wa
holding him down, but she was mistaken
for the sagacious animal vas making cX
ccllcnt time toward the livery stable, an,
had the remains Of the vehicle which h
was propclling been right side up, W
have no doubt but that he would hay
reached that haven Of reposc before tn
news of the mishap.
Il hope you're satisfied now y sal
Mrs. Creamy, with an intense calmnc.
born of suppressed wrath and despair, a
she shook The dust from her garment
and felt of her hack hair. Creamy but
toned up his coat to hide his shirt bosor
which was ia rage scooprd a thimblcftl
of mud FROM his left eve, and shook som
loose gravel from his left ear; wiped tn
blood from his nose with his torn coat
sleeve, AMI said that he was, perfectly
and asked her. with u show of asperit,
and a scratched face, what she woul,
have done if she had been with an I'm
skillfl driver, a question she was to
much dazcd to answer, though the matte
has been referred to by her several tim,
since; but as she is somewhat given /
hasty figures Of speech, we will drop ii
subject.
The stable-kceper drove up, with
team, and asked Creamy If he kne.
what he'd done, az he helped him il