Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-03-31
A Female Financier and Her Stub
Book.
Chicago Courier.

Chicago Courier.
ScENE-House on Aberdeen street.
Peter, the head of the family, Just
home from work, meets his good
wife, Mary, helping with the cham
Der work. MARY" he SAYS, ere
trenchment is the order of the day.
everybody is retrenching- cutting
down expenses, you know. Well
have to see to it, my dear. Tell the
butcher not to bring his choice
grades of sausages any more. Tell
him to send few blood puddings of
the crowbar pattern, and some sham
ble-cheese my dear-I think that's
the name of it; you've seen it, Mary.
I'm sure it's kind of a marquetry
nodded by skilful meat artists, and is
toothsome, my dear, toothsome.-
Well turn new le:f, my dear
Here's this great proud nation of ours
cutting and slashing expenses in
every direction. Even West Point
cadets won't get over $3.50 per day,
and have to buy their own rations;
and the salaries of our Consuls are
so reduced that they have taken to
wearing dlckeys. Let's retrench,
Mary. I've good mind to stop the
milk, too, | used to think that a tritle,
but l saw, to-day, two milkmen fgur-
ing over their bank shares, and, l tell
you, they're hloated bondholders, all
of them. | don't believe,i in being
taxed by those cormorants."
She listened quietly, and gently
answered: "Peter, does the habit of
smoking benefit you SO much?"
Peter" l don't think it does-just
a habit, you know, but smoke very
little; takes mere pittance to keep
me going"
Mary-"How many years have You
been a smoker, Peter?"
Peter" Five years, my dear"
Mary" You've kept no account
of your expenditures in that time?"
Peter" No; its quite small mat
ter, you know; never made an entry
on cigars"
Mary-"I have made some entries,
my dear"
Peter" You, Mary?"
Marv-"Yes, mel"
Peter-"Why, what do you meant"
Mary" Eve kept kind of a stub
book. You puff away the coupons, |
keep the stubs. Here, my dear, here's
a band-box heaping over with stubs |
picked off the hearths:one and the
mantel, after youhad gone out. The
stubs you didn't bring home repre-
sent an equal number, | presume"
Peter Showing much nervousness
and great interest t)-"How many are
in there, Mary?"
Mary" Just 3O0!"
Peter--"And how long collecting?"
Mary" About five months; | got
an average of two stubs per day"
Peter" Have you figured it up?"
Mary-"Yes; l figure at three for
a quarter though | don't know but
they may cost twelve and one-half
cents apiece, or two for quarter.
Probably you pay fifteen cents each;
how is it now?"
Peter" Proceed, Mary; that's
great moral question; proceed on the
original basis.
Mary-"Well, at three for quar-
ter my stubs represent, each, eight
and one-third cents; and, as there are
800 of them, the contents OF my
band box equals the sum of twenty
five dollars, which account may be
safely set down as half the value of
what you do smoke. The other stubs
are probably captured by the street
Arabs. What do you say?"
Peter" Pretty respectable evil
dence, Mary"
Mary" Well, fifty dollars in five
months gives you an outlay of, say
$l2O per year. which, for five years,
the time your habit has been indulged,
is 5000. Take either horn of the
dilemma, my dear Peter, the half or
the whole, and then give me your
opinion on shamble-cheese and butch
er's marquetry, composed of the It'd
bits, the odds and ends of the sham
bles. making head-cheese picturesque
as the face of 4 country bed-quilt."
Peter" I'll shorten up on this
thing, Mary. You needn't stop the
milkman. III try camomile flowers
for a while-chaw 'em, blame me if l