The Osceola times., 1876-08-19
FACTS AND rASCIEy.
BAYARD TAYLOR is the author of tie
following dangerous parody;
dangerous parody;
Where the Moosstoekmaguutic
rours its waten In the ekuutic,
Net along tho forest aide
Hiram Hoover, Huldah HYDE
She maiden fair and dappss,
He, . red-haued, stalvart trnppss,
Hunting beaver. mink and siunk,
In the woodlands Of BQuedunk.
She, Pawtucket's pensive daughter,
Walled hgside The Bkuutic waior
0athcrinG, In her apron vet,
euakaoot. mint and bouncing bet
"why." ne nurnssed, 10Th y Issvs ~,
"Qetkss ynrta ~ ehlIla 81 lovos.
Only waits 70 sathg year"

vSss iissy;s IL u - ss ~ ''~' ss
Only waits 10 eathg yoas"
fear God, and next 10 God chiefly
fear him who feaB Him not-Ssodi.
How far that little candle throws It's
beams! 30 shines good deed In naugh-
ty world.-SAakpears.
THE grave is, suspect, the sole COM
monwealth which attains that dead fat
of social equality that every principle 70
heartily abhon.-Bwlscsv Lytton.
A YOUNG lady ON being asked what
business her lover was in, and not liking
to say the bottled soda, answered, "Hes
q practicing Axsician."
BRET HARTE's play, 1.-TWO Men Of
Sandy Bar" was withdrawn in Chicago
at the end Of week, and is TO be extern
sively altered before 1t e again acted.
THE bugs that are eating carpets in
the northern states arc thought 70 come
from the nests of sparrowa, which are
said 10 swarm with them.
CLERGYMAN to Tommy" What shall
give ysu for q present p Tommy,
who respects the cloth, also trnth, hesi-
tatingly-"I-I think / should like
testament, and I know I should like .
popgun !"
CYNICAL citizen 10 waiter, after sur
veying the gla1 Of milk he had ordered:
"I say waitaw! Would you be 20 kind
now, me boy, ~ 10 put lite NOR milk
in this wattahi Jus trihe please"
The waiter retirss to consider whether
the man is drunk or crazy.
"ALPBoNso, dear, what IL TIE differ.
ence between our Thanksgiving and those
revolving Turkish provincssi" "Realiy
Clementina, cannot say. What 4 itf
"Why, you see, here We have turkey In
christians; there they have christian n
Turkey"
A HUNDRED years ago when you called
on girl she kissed you good BY. Now
II you 80 ggest anything Of the sort her
father calls you into the library and aakn
you what you are worth. Are We M
toni And 10 this prsgrsai-Novssisa
Bulletin.
Hrs teeth began to chatter over the
Ice cream. He buttoned up his jacket
and swallowed another mouthful. That
settled 1t. He jumped up from the table
and started to where the sun could shine
on him, exclaiming, Whoopel Plenty
cold grub! No cooke nuffl Fleece
Chinaman all same like ice wagon"
ONE hardly ever sees q Yankee with.
out whip. Not one-tenth Of them can
read writing, and still fewer can write.
This art belongs aside from literary men,
exclusively 10 the female SEX. The wo-
men are well educated, and therefore
know better than any other matrons In
the world how 10 govern the men. The
men all want TO be politicians, and love,
therefore, the taverns and the grog-bowl,
behind the latter Of which they transact
business, drinking from morning till
night.-Baro~ R;edesai, IL 1776.
A PENNeYLvANIA philosopher Is of
the opinion that petroleum II the result
Of Goldfish. Yes, Goldfish. These hsh
were once plenty In the ocean which COW
cred the place where Pennsylvania now
is. They were caught by q certain ava
lanche OF land, and the millions Of decay
ing Goldfish caused the petroleum oil.
This accounts for the saltwater found In
oil wells, being the result Of salt Goldfish.
II also accounts tor the resemblance Of
petroleum to cod liver oil, and the num-
Der of fish stories told Of immense for
tunes which were never realized.