The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1876-07-06
The Mysteries Of an Egg.

Blodger is a philosopher, and is so |
well versed in science that he can ex-
plain any phenomena according to his
theory from why the sun stands still,
to the reason Providence can't make a |
two-year-old calf in minute.
Blodger's wife is not his counterpart
in this particular, but, we may say, is
Numerically opposite. She detests in
vestigations into the sciences. and
knows so little about philosophy that
she could give no other reason for the
steam created in the tea kettle, than
that it was because there was water in
the kettle and fire beneath it.
A few weeks since, while wandering
listlessly through Union Market ponder
ing upon the mutability Of all things ed
ible, Blodger determined to enter into
negotiation with one of the urbane and
gentlemanly hucksters who line that
provender warehouse, for the purchase
of hen. After q somewhat lengthy
dicker with the tradesman, who posi-
lively refused to accept one OF the new
silver half dollars, in payment for the
fowl, Blodger agreed to give him q
fractional currency note (which are
now at q premium because there are SO
few of them,) and shouldering that
chicken he walked proudly forth, while
the perturbed spirit of the hen kept up
a continual cackle, and mounting a car
he proceeded to the bosom of his fami-v
~, who reside in the northern part OF
town, as Blodger says, to catch all the
north breeze in summer.
Arrived there, he displayed, with q
considerable degree OF pride and salts
faction, his prize, to his wife.
She extended a pleasant smile, and
the sight of the chicken led to the fol-
lowing colloquy:
Mrs. B.-"Well, George, I'm so glad
you got chicken, it will make such ex-
cellent soup fer to-morrow's dinner"
Mr.. BE Soup, thunder, woman; do,
you supposed paid fifty cents for this
beautiful specimen OF natures handi-
work for the paltry satisfaction OF drink
ing the water in which it might be boil
ed? No, madam, / have higher aims
in view, madam. am going to expert
ment upon this chicken, and endeavor
to make her lay Easter eggs, on philO-
sophical principles. l intend that that
hen shall lay two eggs . day, madam,
hard boiled and Of a variety Of colors. |"
Blodger thereupon bnilt q neat Little
villa in the back yard for that hen. He
bought eight bushels of shelled corn,
and three bushels of wheat, and en-
deavored to feed the Did hen so heartily
that, out of pure gratitude, she would
feel constrained to lay two eggs per
day.
| At the end of the third day, Blodger
returned home, to find . beautiful new
laid egg, the product of his hen, await
ing him. He had that day 'slaid y out
something himself, in the way of the
purchase of a new suit of clothes of
which he seemed profoundly proud.
Taking the specimen Of hen fruit from
his wife's hand, he proceeded to en-
tighten her upon the principle Of phi
losophy as cxemp1ified in even so
simple a thing as hens egg, and at
the same time he offered TO lay wager
with her that she could not break the
egg by the compression Of the ends SIM
ultaneously, with the palms of her
hands. She had never heard of this
well known proposition before but ven-
tured the assertion that she could break
| it in the manner described with two
fingers. She took the egg and tried un-
til the tears came into her eyes and fin
ally agreed that she had not the strength
to do it. =
Mr.. Blodger assured her that he had
not the strength either, nor had any
man alive. He then took it. and plac-
ing the ends of the egg between his
palms proceeded to squeeze with all
his might, but, of course, was unable to
break the egg. He then placed his
hands between his knees to still further
convince his wife that even with that
addition of power the thing could not be
done. just at this juncture, the old
house-cat slowly wound hersWay be-
tween her masters legs, and, in NOV.
| ing about, he stepped on her tail, and,
in an attempt to release her, the egg
turned sideways in his hands, and
! squash it went, and the delightful mess
went all over his new clothes, into hi
eyes, mouth, nose, hair and hands, and
you never heard such . volley OF anath
emas rained forth upon the science o,
| philosophy, the inopportune entrance
Of cat, the stupinity OF . wife, wht
didn't know q fact without having i,
illustrated, Blodger was 2 mad philoso
pher; he gFasped . large butcher knife
he rushed into the yard, he cut thu
/ chickens head of, and the. family ha6
chicken soup for dinner next day. I
! you want to rile Blodger, just mention
: philosophy to him. st. Louis Journal
In q photographs galleryat Wash
ington is chair which has q story at
tached. Abraham Lincoln went their
, to have his pictnrc taken. but Wns not sat