The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-12-08
Our Bob.


thought he was our best; and now that he
has gone away from us never to come back,
every little scrap that is left to remind lis
OF him has grown very precious. l was
Bob's mother; mean that am his moth
er; nothing can ever change that, think,
and | am sure that where he is, he does not
forget me. 1t did not seem right that Bob
could not live out his beautiful life, he was
growing so tall and strong and handsome
l shall never get over the pain and loss,
but l am beginning to see that the dear
fellow did not live in vain. Ofcourse
always believe that it was well for him to
be saved all the work and worry the care
and pain which would so surely have come
to him, but thought that we needed him
so much; and now / am coming to feel
that Bob is not dead after ALL At first it
seemed so cruel, so hopeless, to reach out
my hand and find only an aching void to
start up thinking that heard him step
and then remember that his feet would
never again cross our threshold; but in
the silent and lonely hour of the night he
does not seem to me 10 he dead, though
he Will never again pass through our rocms
| often hear the echo of his football as lie
walks the streets and rOams over the hills
OF that good land where lie is living now
In looking over his things the other day,
came across his diary where he had whisp-
cred his inward thoughts and exercised
his untried literary gifts. He never thought,
dear boy that any one would read them,
but they have been to me, his mother, such
revelation of the purity and beauty of
his spirit, and of his loving heart, that it
h. 1, =,
down my face as I read.
NO one but me shall ever read the dear
fellows words, because 10 one but me
could really understand them. But | will
copy out part of the last few pages, be-
cause they may comfort some other mother
who has laid away her beautiful boy to
rest under the green turf and bright sun
light of this summer.
This is what is written on the last page
of Rob's journal:
" For the first time is our lives we boys
and girls noticed last evening that father
was growing old. He has always been so
cheerful, 80 strong, so brave, mother has
always leaned SO upon his strong arm and
we children so trusted to his wise Judgment
and clear vision that we had come to feel
that father could respond to any and all
drafts upon his strength, love and patience.
But last night when lie came up the hill,
we saw that he walked YEARLY, that the
brave face was lined with marks of care.
that the strong shoulders which had borne
80 many burdens for us, were bending un-
der the weight; that the hair upon his
temples was whitening; and for the first
time in our lives we said, Father is grow
ing old
There was no illness nor weakness, his
smile was as CHEEKY and his voice as pleas
ant as ever, and mothers eyes frightened
with the love light which never quite died
out of them, even when father was out
OF sight; but somehow we seemed tonight
to have moved forward long step. There
is as much fun to be had as ever there was,
mother is just the same, and her face will
be as beautiful when we have all grown
to be men aud women as it is now.
The other day she put on the hat and
cloak che wore when she was married, and
all of lis boys and girls laughed to see how
odd and queer it seemed but there was
look in mothers face which made her as
young as any of us, and we did not won
der that father should have wanted to take
her away to be his very own. 1t seems
that these two have u very good time
among themselves; they talk by the hour
after we have gone to sleep, and they have
lots of fun. For all that father is certain
| ly growing old He does not scold half as
much as he used TO, and hardly ever gets
angry, and when mother goes out of the
room or goes away for visit, we children
can see how his eyes follow her, and how
he seems to forget all his brothers when
that dreamy tar-off look comes into his
eyes.
at is just amusing to see him when
mother is away, and he knows that she is
coming home at any certain time He gets
| tidgety, cross, and snaps us up if we do
| the least thing, and then before the time
comes lie begins to get ready and walks
up and down the platform like an engine
drilling cars, until the train comes in, and
he sees mother coming to meet him. 1t
somehow makes me feel old myself when |
see that father is getting along. think
what if he should die. | would have all
the care upon myself of the family and
without him 10 keep everything as it is
But then it would all seem different if
father were not here. l don't see what
| Jennie would do without him; abut it is
not worth while to borrow any trouble,
there is plenty of strength and many years
in him yet, and it is well to think of that.
but it is certainly true that father is
getting old he does not seem to think OF
it himself, and / never thought of it be-
fore"
These are the last words that Bob ever
wrote; and with these thoughts and feel
| ings in his heart he went away from U.S.