The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-03-20
THE BOSS SN0RER.
The orpopnlntor of Hotels mud Boarding.
Houses.

The orpopnlntor of Hotels nud BoHr'linE-
Houses.
The Virginia (Nev.) Enterprise says
After the fire old man BulLlrl found
lodgings on South Q street. He got u
bed in large room containing two other
beds that were occupied. Mr.. Billiard
is huge, fat, gool.natured, and very
entertaining man. The proprietor. OF
the lodging house was much pleased
with Bullard, and laughed ut his jokes
the first evening of his arrival at his
place till tears ran down his checks. The
men who were to be Billiards. room
mates also thought well of him-that
evening. The next morning, however,
they looked sad and red.eyGd. Then
they went to the landlord anil told him
that he must find some other place for
Mr.. Bullard, as he was such n terrible
snorer they couldn't stand him. The
landlords rooms were all occupied, and
he had no place for Billiard but Just
where he was. The complaining dodgers
left and in two or three days other men
were put into the vacant bed. Billiard
made short work Of them; one night let
them out.
The landlord sought m interview with
Bullnrd aud demonstrated with him.
Billiard stoutly asserted that he did not
snore-had mover been known to snore.
The landlord had to give BulIard up rs
bad bargain and turned his attention
to looking up lodgers with which to Gll
his vacant beds. He found men to take
the beds, but again Bullard cleaned
them ont in n single night. Growing
desperate, the landlord again went to
Bullard. He told him lie must either
leave the house or pay rent for all the
beds in the room-Sl5 per month. Dul-
lard said bargain was bargain; he had
paid SIS for his bed and he intended
keeping it till his month was up, and he
didn't propose to pay for beds he hadno
use for; he didn't srore, and the man
who asserted to the contrary was "liar
and n horse thief" Tho landlord felt
very much depressed after this last in
terview with Bullard, rs he saw he wNs
determined not to be removed from his
quarters. A morning or two after as
Billiards. landlord was going down town
ho saw standing in his door brother
lodging house man.
"Thank Heaven he's gone" !" said the
man, rs Billiards. landlord came up.
"Thauk Heaven l am rid of him at
last I"
"Rid OF whom?"
"Why, OF tho big fat man you see
yonder waddling down the street."
"What OF him I"
"Enough OF him! He cleaned nearly
every man out of my house before he
left. They wouldn't stop in the samo
block with that snorting, Falstallian por.
poiso, sir"
"Hes a good one, is he"
ga good Onel He's perfect terror !
Hos more different kinds Of n snorer
than any man l ever heard, and every
time lie changes his koy it is for the
worse. While 1 had him hero crowds
were gathering in front OF the house
nightly wondering what was the matter
within, and the police came in one night
thinking some ore was being murdered.
My dog ran away, and all the cats left
the house"
"And the man you pointed out to me
is that snorcrl"
"Yes, sir, he is, and may he burst !"
"Good-day, sirl" and Billiards. lnnd.
lord hastoued down tho street.
Tho next morning, with the first peep
of day, Bullard, pulling and blowing,
rushed into the presence Of his land
lord.
"What are you trying to play on
mc?" cried he; ~ never slept wink
oil night. OF all the internal noises I
ever heard that man in my room got off
the worst. Is he going to stay herei"
"Shly! Of course he is. Hain't he got
the bed for n month"
"Then leave" and Bullard was as
good rs his word.
An hour afterward the man who had
ousted Bullard arose and waddled Sc
rcnely into the presence of tue land.
lord.
"You'vo cleaned him out" said the
landlord. "You raised him he's gone
for good! /" nnd the landlord gleefulIy
rubbed his hands. "Now," continued
the landlord, "I'll give you good
breakfast, and then you eau go"
"Go," said the lat mau, "not much l
don't. Didn't you say last evening i'll
tho presence Of Bullari aud half dozen
others that l was to stay here one
month";"
"But that you know was ouly to -
al know nothing Of the kind and l
shall stay here! lam human; must
have some place i'll which to repose."
Tao landlorl is now trying to get
some mau to set up some kind Of ma
chino in HIS house that will oustth boss
suorcr. who now has tho whole place tn
himself except small room in a corner
of the third story where he and his wife
spend their nights in miserable way.