The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-12-21
PENCIL AND SCiSSORE-

EVERY old maid can boast of two
beaux, but they are elbows.
A DESIRE to resist oppression is inn
planted in the nature of man.
ANDREws's Bazaar: An eel is not as
slippery as politician, but it can live
on water longer.
COMMON sense is such rare COM
modify that the world has entered into
a tacit compact to live without it. 81
AN arithmetical peacemaker fgura-
lively suggests to the politicians: "This
is 0 time vi-2-per-S ing. Let us be 1
country and people at 1Oy-rate."
Mr.. THOMAS PoTT, citizen of
Western Texas, publishes violent COM
munication against his neighbors in
general, because he has had an ak stolen.
His rage is evidently tempes. in 7.
Pott.
DANBURY Ne,Os: "Man," Gays Adam
Smith, lis an animal that makes bar
gains. No other animal does this-no
dog exchanges bones with another"
Not unless the larger dog happens to
have the smaller bone. - -z.---,--,
"FRED," said young man, the other
day, after listening to his wonderful
story, "do you know why you are like
harp struck by lightniug?" No." says
Fred, "I give it up" because
harp struck ~ lightning is blasted
Tyre"
ONCE more the rapid, feetipg year
Has brought old Christmas to the door;
Come let us treat him with such cheer
As folks were won't in days OF yore,
When burgher grave and be!ted knight,
And cottage maid and lady fair,
Obeyed the old familiar sprite,
And at his bidding banished care
That sullen, surly, melancholy wight.
PROVIDENCE journal: A clergyman in
this city went the other day to call upon
a poor woman living a little distance
from his church. She was new conner
in the vicinity, and the clergyman had
understood that she was very pious. :"
trust the Lord sustains you in your at
Fiction 2" said ne; and she answered,
"The LordI Who's hep
LITTLE CHARLES has been misbehav-
ing at boarding-school, and the stern
master forbids him, as punishment, to
write more than letter of five lines to
his mother, who will expect a long epistle
on her birthday. The ingenious youth
buysa roll of wallpaper and writes his
letter thereon. There are just five lines,
but each one is thirty-fve feet long.
THERE has been a Misrepresentation
about the fortune alleged to have been
made by the inventor of wooden tooth
picks. The original idea was that the
substantial wooden article would be re-
munerative, but it did not pay until the
discovery was made that a soft, brittle
wood was the thing to use. On this prin-
ciple tooth picks are now placed on the
market, and as it takes on the average
six supplementary picks to remove the
splinters resulting from the primary use
of one, it is obvious that the demand
must be enormous.
THE Marquis of Huntley, who is noted
as collector of bric-a-brac, was once
killing time in a town of Northampton
shire, England, when he strayed into the
shop of silversmith," with three balls
over the door. Having asked the price
of everything in the shop-window, and
finding nothing of interest, he inquired
if there were any great collectors in the
town. The silversmith's wife said there
was Mr.. Sadler. "Pray," said the Mar
quis, "what does Mr.. Sadler collect Z"
"Oh," replied the woman, "poor rates,
SIR" The Marquis did not pursue the
subject further.
The outlook in Eastern Europe is as
warlike as ever. The Russian army con-
tinues to prepare for hostilities, and the
accumulation of military stores goes on,
the government still mr. aorolizing the
transportation of the railways leading to
the anticipated field of operations. Cen
eral Ignatieff, the Russian Ambassador,
is to be given large discretion by the
Gar in the coming Conference, but. as
we already know, the Russian demands
are very definite, if not peremptory.
The opposition in England to the Turk