The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1876-12-20

'Tis winter, and no more the breezes
Buzz among the budding treeses,
And whilst the boy with ragged troWSers,
ShiveTing, homeward drives his cowseS,
Newly frost-bit are his toeses,
And, bless my lifel how blue his nose is.
A Philadelphia shoe merchant wrote to
his wife that ne had become a convert to
cremation and she said: 600 ahead have
your ashes returned c. o. d. to me-"
The Norwich Bulletin saws: 'The question
which interests boy just now is not SO
much whether he is receiving orthodox re-
ligious instruction, as whether his Sunday
school is going TO have Christmas tree with
something besides bookmarks and pen
wipers on it,"
\ recent Amherst graduate, now a settled
pastor, was telling a retired missionary that
he entered college and the theological sem
mary with the intention of becoming mis-
sionary, when the old veteran broke out
with: Ali you turned back after putting
your hand to the plough" NO. was the
answer, II just took another plough"
At time when rivalry was running high
between the fourth Vermont regiment COM
manded by Colonel Edwin III. Stoughton,
and the fifth Vermont, an extensive revival
occurred in the division to which both regi-
ments belonged. One day word was brought
to Stoughton that twelve men belonging TO
the latter had been baptized. Orderly
Immediately exclaimed the emulous colonel,
'1et fifteen men be at once detailed for bap-
tism."
\ renowned clergyman lately preached
rather long sermon from the text, ''ThOu
art weighed in the balance and found want
ing" After the congregation had listened
about an hour. some began to get weary and
went out; others soon followed, greatly to
the annoyance of the minister. Another
person started, whereupon the parson
stopped in his sermon and said THAT
right gentlemen; as fast as you are weighed
pass out"
st. John On. b. has the smart school boy
now. A few days ago, on his way to school,
he called into a wayside shop to obtain a
slate pencil. A somewhat elderly dame
handed him the article, and stood reluct-
antly waiting for the cent. Charley, very
deliberately breaking the pencil in two,
handed back one half and walked out of the
shop with the remark, "Here marin, this
pays for my half. Her feelings may be i'm
agined, but they are beyond description.
A good actress, but extremely stout, was
one night enacting a part in q melodrama
with Taillade, the original Pierre of The
| Two Orphans" who had at one portion tC
carry her fainting off the stage. He tried
with all his might to lift the fat heroines, but
| although she helped her little comrade by
was unable to move her an inch. At thi'
| juncture a boy in the gallery called out
| - Take what you can, and come back for the
/ rest
The little daughter OF very wealthy New
Yorker happened not long ago to hear hel
| small schoolmates congratulating themselve
and one another upon the regularity Will
! which their fathers said grace at the table
| Her father did not say grace, and, oppressed
/ by sense of inferiority, the little one wep
that evening and besought him to do It
He said he thought it was time to begin
and asked blessing with all proper feeling
at breakfast next morning. A younger sis
ter of his little homilist, young lady still
| in the nursery, who had not heard the pre-
yi0us conversation, looked up surprised
! then her face cleared. II know what yol
| does at for, papa said she; Its taus,
you'se gettin' poor!'
An old lady belonging to zone of tn,
| pray, Mr.. Matthews, will you tell me wha
you Episcopalians mean by the apostoli,
succession" Certainly, my dear madam,
| replied the rector, who was little given t
practical jokes. you see, my name
| Matthews; am descended from Matthew
the publican" ''Ohl" she answered, "tha
| "Why. don't you know-James, the brothe
| of John, the sons OF Zebedee?' "Why, yes
certainly; but how about Bishop Green7 p
This puzzled our reverend friend for an in
slant, but he soon frightened, and replied
why Bishop Green derived the succession
through his mothers fsmiiy.-Harper's Mag