Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-02-18
VOL. XLIX.
HERE AND THERE.


One Of the commonost incidents of news
paper lie Is the receipt of communications
urging the editor to make attacks for which
the writer who prompts them is unwilling to
he responsibility. y Herald.
\ young man suffering from - hereditary
gout' said be didn't mind the pain OF it 50
much " but, said he, " the thought that
some old ancestor had all the fun of ac-
quiring this precious heirloom is what
takes hold Of me :"
One Of the young men employed in a
Danbnry hat-iactory discovered a brass col
lor-button in a piece Of mince-pie he was
mastieating, the other day. He Is looking
for 4 new boarding-place. lie says what he
wants are the comforts Of home, and not
the excitement and confusion Of dollar
store.
We hear Of a man 50 conscientious that
he Will always confess an error even if he
has to lie about it,
Wages are only ten cents day in China,
says an exchange. That may be called hard
times.-Lo,rtH C5u7cr.
Marshal Soult, once showing the pictures
he stole IN Spain, stopped before one and re-
marked '' | value that picture very much
1t saved the lives Of two estimable persons"
An aide-de-camp whispered in the listener's
ear " He threatened to have both shot
Immediately unless they gave it up"
Thursday night a policeman collared
suspicious looking character IN hallway on
Jefferson avenue, and as he dragged the
man out on the walk he said ' Who are
/ 7out' John Haynes" was the answer.
d" And what do you do" - In the show
/ business. IS What DO you show ?' IN
show you my heels, replied the man. sud
/ denly Jerking loose, and he was As good As
his word.-Darou Frse Press.
do not know that the treatise Of Brillat
/ Sayarin on the " Physiology of Taste de-
/ serves its fame. know its repute, and
/ have heard it called the France Of France
/ Bat the subject is so large and exigent that
/ few particulars, and those the pleasures Of
| the eplcure, cannot satisfy. | know many
men of taste whose single opinions and
| practice would interest much more. 1t
should he extended TO gardens and grounds,
and mainly one thing should be illustrated
that life in the country wants all things on n
/ low t0ne-wants coarse clothes. old shoes,
no fleet horse that man cannot hold. but
an old horse that viii stand tied in pasture
/ half a day without risk. so allowing the pic
ME PARTY the full freedom Of the woods
/ Il. " Emerson.
TaGlioni. the dquans. Is wroth three
million dollars Herbert Spencer, the phil
osopher, i not worth a cent Yet both are
eyolutionists
-" Have You any five cent cigars ?' asked
an impeeunious looking fellow of an East
Side tobacco man yesterday. Yes re
piled the tobacconist, and he placed a hand
iul on the showcase for the man-whose
clothing showed that he had squandered his
summer if not earnings-t0 select from.
bunnlng his eye over the lot and without
being satisfied, he asked for tcn-cent ones.
The latter did not tickle his fancy and. as
suming the airs Of an Astor, he boldly in
quired for iittcen-cent ones. Selecting one
he poised it between his fingers, and with
the tone Of a plaYcd-out insurance solicitor
asked, " Would You take a mans last cent
for cigar ?'' Tie unsuspecting merchant
replied that be would. and that settled the
bargain, for the customer piacedone cent on
the showcase, bit the small end of the lIay-
ana, applied the torch and leisurely strolled
out putting his high-t1ncd cigar Osc.go
PqNGdnaa.
We propose 30 give 0ur Young readers a
few g. points with regard To the candy
question. The next time that your mother
predicts that You viii not have tooth in
your head from eating SO much candy.
reply pleasantly, but firmly, that Henry
Duke of Beaufort, for forty years ate nearly
pound Of sugar candy daily, and yet died
at the age Of eighty with a full set of per
feet teeth in his head. II this Is not enough,
crush your parent completely by remarking
eOidly, that every scLoolboy knows that Gle
land, in his "lnstitucS Of Health. mentions
Mr.. Mallory who was extremely fond Of
sugar and addicted 10 its use, and who
reached the ripe age Of loo years, having
good teeth until he was four-Sc0rc. and then
actually cnta new set If your father
comes to your mothers relief, assure him
that teeth have been soaked in syrup for
whole year without any uerccutible effect.
and that the best authorities now saw that
sugar IS good for children. Now, If this
i-n't frebrand, We don't know what is
Y. J. Nar.
" Maria, observed Mr. lIolcomb, as he
was putting on his clothes, 90 there amt no
patch on them lreechcs vet. - can't fix
It now no way I'm too busy " Well
give me the patch, then. an I'll carry it
around with me | don't want people think
can't afford the cloth
When the news of the rover Ilamill's
death was flashed through the country, ten
OF eleven Influential journals announced
simultaneously that his race of life was oar. /
Seven other papers alluded to the deceased
as gentleman and sculler. Five or six
were wherry sad about it. This singular
unanimity on the part of 50 many papers
shows how hard up the Taragraphers were
that day They were all in the same boat,
As it were Cbi5gg0 Times
On cold, dark winter night. when a
young married man Is taking in the clothes.
with frozen fingers and mouth full of
eiothes-pins, nothing gives him greater
feeling of despair than to hear his wife
open the back window and say " Joseph
vou may bring yours in, but guess you can
hang mine back. ". Y. Hraa.
What are you doing here, hiding around
my house % inquired a Michigan-ayenue /
man the other day, as be espied dapper-
looking youth lodging behind bay win
dow. Oh, sir, IN not thief " exclaimed
the young man. "N0u re not what are YOU
then ?'' demanded the house owner. - You
you see, sir, was the stammering reply, !
" its leap year, and II jeS' see my girl
coming down the street +" Then the kind
hearted man, taking in the situation, ex-
tended the right hand of fellowship to the
youth and said - Boy, you have my sym
pathieS. - Chicago Journal.
After giving Sandy certain directions
about kirk matters, the minister shifted once !
or twice, and remarked, Saunders, | fear
you have been tasting this morning"
" Deed, sir, replied Sandy, with the cool
est efrontery, set off with droll glance of
his brown eyes, - deed, sir, I was Just |
ga in to observe thocht there was smell |
o speerits amang US this mornin' go