The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-05-03
THAT GATE.
From the Burlington Hawk.Eye

"A pale.faced, notwithstanding man,
who looked as though he supped with
sorrow every week, who lives out on
North hill with his wife and seven
lovely, blooming daughters. He has,
with all these seven lovely daughters
only one front gate, and that is what
makes him pale. Last summer he
spent $$2l7 repairing that front gate,
putting in new ones, and experiment.
ing with various kinds of hinges, and
after all that the gate swung all
through the winter on a leather strap
and a piece of clothes-line, and there
was peace in the household, and the
man grew fat. But when the April
days were nigh, it soon became appar-
ent to the man that his troubles were
at hand, and anxiety soon drove the
roses from his damask cheeks and
robbed his ribs of their substance. He
used to climb over the back fence to
avoid calling attention to the disreput-
able-looking old gate, but his self-de-
NAL was of no avail. One evening his
eldest daughter, Sophronia, said:
''Pa, that horrid gate is the most
disgusting thing on this street. If
you can't afford to have it fixed, I'd
take it away and put up style.''
And pa only groaned. But an even
ing or SO later, his youngest daughter
came in and said with considerable
warmth
Spa! wish you had that beastly
old gate tied to your neck, that's what
l wish -
And she dissolved in tears and evap-
GRATED up stairs in misty. cloud,
while her sisters followed slowly, cast
ing reproachful looks at pa. And the
next evening his third daughter, Aze-
liza, came bouncing into the room
about $50 P. NJ, with her gloves in a
condition to indicate that she had been
patting gravel, and said, with some en-
ergy, that if pa had no feeling other
people had, and she wished she was
dead she did, and she hoped that the
next time that pa went out of that
hateful old gate he'd fall from Arch
street to the bridge, so she did. And
she broke down aud disappeared with
staccato accompaniment of sobs and
sniftles. And the next time that pa
went out of that gate, he found it
PROSTATE between the two posts, and
saw that the fragile strands of the
clothes-line had parted, under some
extraordinary pressure, and that was
what allied AZelea' gloves.
Pa saw there was nothing for it but
a new gate, and he groaned aloud as
he viewed the dreary prospect of fur
nishing gates to support the manly
forms of the best young men of Bur-
lington for another summer. He pom
dered and pondered, and pondered.
He became the confidant of carpenters;
certain plans and drawings to black
smiths and cunning workers in iron
and steel. And in due time he had
new gate up, Il massive gate, with
great posts, Ornamented and substan-
tial, and the seven sisters were pleased.
They read in the little brass plate that
informed them that a patent was APP
piled for, the words ''for 100 pounds"
but they didn't know what it meant
until last evening.
Last evening the weather, though
sufficiently cool to be bracing, admit
ted a test of the new gate. A muir
muir Of voices arose from the vicinity
of that popular lover retreat as Soph-
roma, swung idly to and fro on it's heavy
frame. Presently, a pale faced man,
who held his hand upon his breast to
still his beating heart, as he crouched
in dark corner of the porch heard
Rudolphus say:
''But believe me, Sophronia, my own
hearts idol, between the touches of
the rude hand of IT,
AS he began the word he leaned for
ward and bent his weight on the gate,
and with Il sharp click little trap
door in one side of the post flew open.
and gaunt, nany-jointed arm of steel.
Virginia gourd on the end of it, flew
out, and, with the rapidity of light
ming, hit Rodolphus two resounding
pelts between the shoulders that sound
ed like a base drum explosion.
"Oh-h-h gosh - he roared. :'I'm
stabbed I'm stabbedr' and, without
waiting to pick up his hat fled, shrek
ing, for the doctor, while Sophrona
rushed into the house crying. Spa !!
pa! pa! Rodolphus is shot, and
swooned. The pale-faced man said
nothing, but shrunk still further back
into the shadow, and thrust his hand
kerchief into his mouth to stiile a
smile. Pretty soon he knew the voice
of his daughter Azalea at the gate, say.
ing goodnight. But rich, manly
voice detained her, and the measured
swing of the gate was again heard in
the distance. Soon he heard Lorenzo
say, as he made ready to climb upon
the gate:
''But whatever of sorrow may await
our future, dear one, would it might
fall upon me-
And i11ct nc h Ii ftod bic lan4 eoo4 gsa.,a