The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-02-04
COMMUNICATIONS.
Conway Smashed, &c.

EDITOR PREss:-The Lexington Iri6-
une of last week runs a tilt against Mr..
Conway, and the scientists generally
which, to say the least, ia most amusing.
II reminds us of jolly incident in the
way of dialectical contest, which oc-
Cured many years ago in New Lexing-
ton aforesaid.
In the wear 1874 the Wings held a
mass meeting in Lexington. and among
other ma9nates of the party was Tom
Wiles, of Somerset, who made the day
and occasion memorable bv making
speech. As the Democrats had no
stock in the meeting, of course they had
no speaker present But Dan Kelly,
who had served the Democracy one
term as Representative from Perry
County. could not consent that the
Wings should have things all their own
way; and accordingly assumed the task
of answering Wiles, being at the time
considerably inflated. Mounting store
box at the south end of the old "Chap
pelear House." he proceeded to dtmol
ish Wiles in the following sublime style.
Fellow Citizens:-Tom Wiles says
that the interests of this great country
require. the establishment of a National
Bank; and say that's d-d lie! ard
that's an end of that matter. He also
says that to save the industries of the
country, and the money of the people, a
high protective tariff is necessary: and
say that's another id lie; and there's
an end of that matter. He further says
that ii is right, and constitutional and
advantageous to the public welfare that
the Federal Government should assume
the debts of the States; and I say that's
another id lie! and there's an end Of
that matter. Again he says. that a sys-
tenn of Public Improvements by the
General Government would be the sal
vation of this country; and ! say that's
another d-d, Internal lie and there's
an end of that matter, and of Tom Wiles
too; and / advise him to GO home and
resume his business of stuffinR horse
collars, and no more meddle with mat
ters of which he knows nothing"
In little manner the Tribune writer
smashes Conway and the Scientists:
Thus:
Conway says that Sir Charles Lyell
says that the delta of the Mississippi is
500, 1000 years old; say that Conway is
guilty Of suppressing the truth, and old
Iyell is an egregious old stupid, to say
the least, and that's an end Of that mat
| ter.
Conway says the deposit Of stalag-
mitic matter in Kent Cave England,
required at least 10000 years for its
] Formations; an opinion shared by Prof.
Huxley, Darwin, Tyndall, Lyeil, Muir
Gibson. Miller, and all the rest: but I say
the data are too small for such concln-
sion, and Lyell again proves himself an
ass; and there's an end of that matter.
"Conway tells us that Prof. Huxley
and all the other scientists of Europe
pronounced the Abbeville skull differ
ent from that of any other race of men
known on earth, living or dead: but !
say, that their conclusion is neither rea-
sonAble nor practicable, and therefore
they are all fools, and there's and end o
that matter.
"Conway says that he don't exactly
understand the matter of the tFirs
Cause and can't say whether Evolu'
tion is 'First Cause, or not: but say
it is not, and Conway and the scientist,
are set Of pnrblind owls; and there
an end Of that matter, and of Conway
and Spencer and Huxley. and LyelI
ct I'd omne genus, and I advise the whol'
of them TO 20 home and study thei
catechism and Palsy's Evidences o
Christianity"
And so the philosopher Of the Trib
une runs through about two columns
smashing scientists like another Her
cules, and announcing the truth, as h
comprehends il, with all the dogmatica
! force and stunning sarnestness Of ouI
. old friend Dan Kelly. He is trul.