The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1876-11-09
Simon sirlRger's Re'iglan-a Beautiful Reyl.
val incident.

Sim0n StTiRgefs ke'iglan-a Beauiiiti kew.
val Incident.
Simon Stringer was bluff old far
mcr. He prided himself upon being a
plain, matter of-fact man, about whom
thore wasno foolishness or sentiment. On
more than one occasion he had mortified
his wife and daughters by hustling them
out of religious meetings when they had
began to show signs of emotion. He
SAID he didn't believe in "mlrakelous
conversion" and that people who cried
and yelped over getting religun "wasn't
gittin' Ii by burned sight" lie be-
lieved that the genuine article was
soothing and clmaing, and not exciting in
its influence.
Once the Campbelites held a protract-
ed meeting in bis neighborhood, and it
was carried on without any sudden out
bursts of feelings, Simon took kindly to
il, and attended regularly. One Sun
day morning he told his wife to lay him
ont two suits of clothes.
"Why, Simon," exclaimed she in her
shrill tones, "whatever do you want with
two suits of clothes? 2
replied gruffly. "You lay out my black
suit for me 10 put on. and wrap the
brown one up in a bundle, and don't ask
any tool questions.
His wife wonderingly but silently,
complied, and Simon donned one suit
and with the other under his arm,
mounted his horse and rode away, fol-
lowed blythe anxious eyes of the big and
little Slringers, who marveled greatly
and said one TO another: "What's dad
goin' to do with his tother clothes?'
Simon~didn't return till supper time.
lie took his place at the supper table,
which was the usual signal for tho fami-
ly to begin an onslaught upon the Wet
uals. but on this occasion his voice ar
rested every arm in its decent, and for
the second time that day astonished the
StrIngers. CHANGING around the start
led tircIe, he thus delivered himself:
al want 1t understood that the head
of this household has this day been bay
tized. He is follower Of the meek
aud lowly Jesus, and tho first critter at
this table that dips into anything afore
blessin' is asked i'll git snacthed bald
healed. Drop yer eyes, ye heather"
The blessing WAS asked, and the meal
was eaten in silence.
After the chores were done, the
Stringers were stringlng oft bed, when
the sierra voice of the old man again ar
rested them, and filed their minds with
grave torbodings as 10 what was coming
next. lie addressed as follows:
"Come into this room, every diyil Of
you, and flop down on your knees. 1t
it my duty rs deyout Christian, to
have family worship, and III hav i
too, and have respectful attention, or
I'll bust some domestic ties asunber
This mansion must rcsound with praises
40 the Most High, or it will resound
with some one gittin' bell of a thrash
mi mean bein' severity classified. The
Grst one who snickcrs, or makes any
onseenIy noise, I'll git up and throw a
cheer through him, or her, as the case
may be. Let US pray"
The prayer was prayed, and never
was there a more attentive audience.
This sort Of thing continued about two
weeks, and the Strnger family was
kept in a state of extreme misery. The |
yoanger members had been severly |
for conduct unbecoming the
of true believer, and the old |
CT ones had received such harsh rcpri- |
mands Cor failing to fall INFO the new
order Of things and compOrt themselves
with due dignity.
Then one morning Simon came in,
with bad limp, a battered milk-pail,
and the knee OF his pants torn. Drop
ping into a. chair at the table, he plunged
his fork into the nearest dish. The
looked up from the backs of
their plates, Qucstioningly, and their
mother squeaked, "Why, Simon!'
"Shut up, and eat!" be growled, and
then in a few moments added:
"Thls blessin' and prayer business is
suspended fur awhile. | don't furgit
my obligations an duties as q Christian,
m I'll resoom EN- arter I've conquered
hat dol.dinged red hcIfer. The 'tarnal
critter prcsooms TO much on my Chris
ian furbearance. Durn hypocrit! |
won't pray when my soul amt into it,
It's too great strain. Fur the time be-
"a hev decended from grace. Pass
he tomatusscss."
A sigh Of relief went round the circle,
md if the red heifer had known how she
lad risen in the esteem of majority of
he Stringcrs her fractions soul would
rave leaped for joy.
That was several years ago, and now
he red hcfer is COW, and the worst
me in the neighborhood. The String
RS say as they punch and plague her,
''S'long's we keep Old Red wild dad
Won't git any more O. that awful relij-
IN"