The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-05-04
ALI Ssrts Of Paragraphs.

- Books most influenced by hard times
are pocket-books.
Poverty wants the necessities of life,
but avarice wants everything.
1t is rule always to back your
friends and face your enemies.
1t is not he who owns the most, but
he who enjoys the most is the happier
man.
The man who does not set himself
up too high will not get hurt when he
falls.
- An eagle whose outstretched wings
measured nine feet from tip to tip was
recently killed in the town of Sharon,
Wis.
The tidal wave still sets strongly in
the direction of the penitentiary, and the
Radicals will have to raise new crop of
statesmen.
- Let the youth who stands at bar
with glass of liquor in his hand consid-
er which he had better throw away-the
liquor or himself.
= A man who once got $40 week as
the living skeleton in circus was ad-
mitted to an Indiana poor-house the
other day. He got fat and was thrown
out of employment.
= An exchange asks "who is to sue
coed A. T. Stewart as money prince of
America We know who has been
spoken Of for the place, and feel gratiied
for the compliment, but we do not want
it.
"I doesn't want no lawyer; Use gwine
to tell de troof dis time" is what regu-
lar customer at the Recorders Court told
his Honor when that functionary in
quired if he had engaged legal assis-
tance,
- Have you written to your wife's
second Cousins people in Philadelphia,
informing them that you are coming to
spend few weeks this summer? If not,
do so at once. They will be so happy to
see you.
- The highest number of convicts ever
reached in the Ohio penitentiary was at
tained last Saturday week, when the
records show 1886 in confinement. The
number of prisoners has increased about
go per cent. since the panic of 1872.
= Norwich Bulletin: "It is mentioned
as singular fact that Solomon never
laughed and was very melancholy man.
1t should be remembered, however, that
he had 900 wives to advise him what
to do when he had sore throat"
- 1t is not generally known why Zach
Chandler once declined the Spanish mis-
sion. 1t was because somebody told him
there was no "w" in the Spanish language.
As there is no "w"i in Spanish he couldn't
see how in the dickens there could be any
whiskey in Spain.
1t is serious thing to die, but it is
much more serious thing to live. Death
is but single event, life is a series of
events. Death can make no change in
our character; life makes or unmakes us
forever. Death is only serious because it
is followed by eternity; life is serious be-
cause it decides whether our eternity shall
be one of happiness or woe.
- Charles Fox had an unfortunate
creditor who insisted that he would not
leave until day for payment was named.
"Will you go, then ?" asked the minister.
eyes, and not trouble you until the day
arrives" replied the dun. "Well, then,"
said Fox, slowly, 81 wilLpayyou on the day
ofjudgment But stop as that will be
a very busy time, let us make it the day
after"
- The Bowling Green, Kentucky,
Democrat says it is reported that good
lady of Todd County, hearing somebody
berating our late Legislature for having
done nothing, said: "Folks is talkin'
bout this Kentucky Legislator not doin'
nuthin'. I'd like to know if they hain't
gone and put down the price of calicoes
from ten to six cents a yard? 1 reckon
that is some good, amt it?"