Smyrna times., 1876-07-12
MISE eIIUAS e OMS .
Every Man His Own Poet.

Ny readers will, perhaps, relish some
bits of English humor which have just
got hold of, in little anonymous tract
bearing the attractive title, every Man
His own Poet; or, The Inspired Singers
Receipt Book" Proceeding from the gen.
eral principle that in this age of progress
the mystery of yesterday is the common
place of to-day, and that, the object of poe
try being to give pleasure, nobody's verses
can please a man so much as his own, the
writer says that the main art of the mod
ern poet is like that of the cook-to pro-
cure a delicate repast out of the poorest
materials. Alike the cook and the poet
deal with animals, vegetables, and spirits.
The earlier masters used to mix these, but
the modern employ the materials sepa-
rately.
"Thus Mr.. Sw-nb-rne uses very little else
than animal matter in the composition of
his dishes, whilst the late Mr..
Wordsworth, on the contrary, confined
almost exclusively to the confection of
primrose pudding and flint soup, favored
with the lesser celandine, and only now
and then beggar boy boiled down in it to
give it a COLOR
After further business-like remarks of
this kind the writer comes to the first
recipe, which is for making "an ordinary
love poem"
"Take two large and tender human hearts,
which match one onother perfectly. Ar
range these close together, but preserve
them from actual contact by placing be-
tween them some cruel barrier. Wound
them both in several places, and insert
through the openings thus made a fine
stufing of wild yearnings, hopeless tender
ness, and a general admiration for stars
Then completely cover up one heart with q
sufficient quantity of chill church-yard
mold, which may be garnished according
to taste with dark waving weeds or tender
violets, and promptly break over it the
other heart"
In rural places, owning small weekl!
papers, the recipe for pathetic marine
poem" will perhaps prove interesting, sine
it is easy, pleasing, and not unwholesome
"Take one midnight storm, and on
fsherman's family, which, if the poem is t
be real success, should be as large and a
hungry as possibly, and must contain a
least one innocent infant. Place this las
in cradle, with the mother singing owe
it, being careful that the babe be dreamin
of angels, or else smiling sweetly. Stir tn
father well up until he disappears. The
get ready Immediately quantity of crue
crawling foam, in which serve up tn
father, directly on his reappearance, whic
is sure to take place in an hour or two,
the dull red morning. This done, a charm
ing saline effervescence will take plaC
among the remainder of the family. Pi
up the agony to suit the palate, and Il
poem will be ready for perusal."
The writer processes to be in possessic
of the original directions from which Il
laureate composed the Arhurian Idyls, an
gives us as great literary curiosity Il
methods of making an epiclike Mr.. T-nn-s-
We are told here to first catch hero,
rather--as only Carlyle can achieve that
to catch the nearest approach to he
available, namely, prig. But it must n
be the scientific, or the Anglican, or Il
ultramontane prig, nor yet the evangelio
prig, who converts the heathen and drin
port wine The only one entirely suitat
is the blameless variety.
"Take, then, one blameless prig. S
him upright in the middle of round tab
and place beside him a beautiful wife, W
can not abide prigs. Add to these 0
married goodly man, and tie the TIN
together in bundle with a link or two,
Destiny. Proceed, next, to surround !
group with a large number of men a
women of the nineteenth century, in far
ball costume, favored with a great ma
yerypossiblo vices, and afew impossible
tues. Stir these briskly about for volunl
to the great annoyance of the blamel
prig, who is, however, to be kept careful
below swearing point for the whole tn
If he once boils over into any natu