St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-10-06
A Batch of Hawkeyetems.
From the BurIinctop Hawk.v.l

n odUCn OF 6aWkeVetemS.
From the burlington HawkeveI
Old Mr. Throp went into the parlor
the other night at the witching hour of
ll:l5 and found the room unlighted.
and his daughter and dear friend, one
of the dual form of gaImenture variety
occupying the tetc-a-tcte in the corner.
"Evangclinc, the old man said steInl\.
TINS Is >rithdal"us. YES, papa. she
answered Swcctly. ''it is candlcless be
raII>r times are :" hard and lights cost
:" much that Ferdinand and said We
would thy and get along with Just the
>tarllg Int. :. And the old gentleman
turned about i'll >pccchlc>s anrs,zcmcmt
and tried t" walk ont of the room
through a panel in the wall paper.
burglar broke INTO Il palatial resi-
dcncc on South Hill. Monday night.
chI"r"tormcd the inmates. got POSSES
sion of Il United States bond looking
box. fastened with Il brass paddock. and
carried il three miles into the country
before he vcnturcd To open it. and then
when he found il To he only Il cut-paper
pattern t"r II lady'> night dress. he
threw his dark lantern into Il creek and
swallowing his skeleton keys. died in
aiIcct modification.
Nh. Mrrriwethcr paused ut the gate.
IL he adjusted his Continental oil-cloth
coat and gave his torch the proper slant
over his shoulder. To shout to his neigh
h"r across the way. "It is a time that
demands men. men of nerve. and in
trili"encc. and courage. e.-men of clear
ideas and pure convictions and the
.sIfI l..s Il
The country calls him l. heaItlcss and
Negligent. and unpatriotir." And then
Mrs. McrriwcthcI'> voice was heard
floating over the front fence. like the
song OF Il bird in the night. "EIastus
NcrlWcthcr' If Won gootf without split
i'm" up enough wood for the Kitchen
stove. III do some haymaking in that
caIrotty hair % yourn thatll make vou
wish this c"nntry never had IL Pres-
dent. And il is Just such chilling intiu-
"mce> as these that shut 81 many of our
best men ont of active public life.
HAD No FIN IN llIM.-Onc of the
members of the Mcthndist Conference
recently held here WAS ont for Il walk
at an cmly hour one morning. and
while on Howard street he encountered
- >trapping big fellow. who was dlaw-
nga wagon to the hlack>mitl'> shop.
"Catch hold here and help me down
20 the shop with this wagon and I'll buy
the whi>kcy!" called the big fellow.
Il never drink" >olcmmlN replied the
good man.
'Ncll. N"u can take Il cigar.
Il never smoke"
I,. Ip.r, IL I'll. ,,..,,,.,,,
looked at the member. and asked:
''D"n't You chew"
N" sir. WAS the decided reply.
80" on must get mighty lnncsnme,"
unused tn" tcam>tcr.
Il guess I'm all right. / feel first
rate
I'LL het You even that | can lay yuu
on N"ul back. remarked the ItamStrr.
''Come now. lets warm up Il little"
Il never bet
well. lets take each other down for
iun. then. l"m ;Ie as hi. aS am, aud
| II give l"u the under hold"
Il never have fun" SolrmulN answer
ed the mrmhcr
''Wcll. I'm going t" tackle YOU any
way. Here We 90.
The tramI>tcr slid mp and emdcavnrcd
T." get Il meek hold, but he had only just
Ia fool about when he Was
lifted clcaI of the grass and slammed
against a tree box with such force that
lac gaSpcd half Il dozen times before he
could get his breath
Now N"u keep away from me-" rN-
claimed the minister picking up his
cane.
bust me if | don't =" replied the
tc'm>tcr, ;> he edged oil. .What's the
u~'' in lying and saving that y"m didn't
have ANY fun in You when N"u'Ie chuck
tuli of it Blame it lnm wanted to
hI"ak my back didn't YOU" Detroit
Free Press.