The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1876-02-10

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So an hour passed, and the nigh
grew very cold. Even hard hearted
Mrs. Brown became uneasy. No
that feared anything more serious
than that Alice might make hersel
sick oy being out 50 late, so that
should have the work to do. Blu
what interest moves the heart of poo
humanity like . selfish interest.
Thus prompted to generosity, start
ed after her. | went to the barn anC
called her, called her until l va,
hoarse. There was no answer. A,
first | was vexed, then frightened
What could have happened? came
back into the house, and sent Mr.
Brown. Billy still refused to go
Let her have it OUT" he said. ale
would not bemean himself by running
after her; he could wait by the FIRE
as well as any place for tho next move
in the game" But being an Irish.
man, the one thing he could not do
was to wait. He had not the grand
genius of patience. l think that in
a quarrel he would have been equal
to the greatest flow Of words that
ever issued from a woman's mouth
but TO hear absolutely nothing from
the opposing counsel was too much
for Mllesian endurance. l doubt
whether even the most phlegmatic ol
Duichman could sit quietly under the
grand silent system Of domestic war
fare. II wives all understood this,
their influence over their husbands
would be without limit. But they
are like the beasts OF the fields-they
don't know their own power. And
what blessed thing it is for men
that they don't! SO Billy became
restless, starting at every noise, and
casting frequent glances toward the
door. At last he started up, and
went out.
In about ten minutes | heard both
calling me. l ran out. and
down the ravine, guided by the sound
of their voices, and soon met them
coming back. My poor old man was
carrying the baggage in his arms,
Billy being too much excited to rem
der any assistance. ''Bring water!"
screamed Mr.. Brown; "Alice has a
fit; she is dying. | believed she was
the fit, SO did not 60 fer the
water. The water was brought how
ever; for Mr.. Brown, completely ex-
hausted, was compelled to lay her
down; then he ran and brought .
Sprinkle it upon her
face he cried.
| had an idea. In moment it
me into sort of spas
modfs activity. l took hold OF the
and dashed its contents vio-
Iently into her face. For = moment
she had terrible struggle for her
breath (no affectation in that then
relapsed again into her-what shall
call it?-tantrums. She was stiff
as steelyards, and looked like = big
doll cut out whole from one piece Of
wood. Mr.. Brown took her up again
with infinite difficulty, ard carried
her into the house, where he dropped
her upon bed. l wanted him to
stand her OH her head IN one corner,
and prop her up with furniture, but
did not dare suggest it. Immediate
ly there was clamorous demand for
hot water and other restoratives.
"Here, Lizzie, take off her shoes
and stockings, and bathe her feet"
Well, l declare!-and it seemed
that | did not hear, for l went out
and sat down by the fire. Pretty
soon it was, "Lizzie, make mustard
poultices for Alice's ankles" l
would have refused, but that had
another idea, and complied. Make
them weak" said my beloved, from
the sick room; "mix them half flour"
Half flour, indeed! | had some
vinegar that was simply pyroligneous
acid very slightly diluted. / mixed
t with that, and instead Of weaken
ng the effects Of the mustard with
lour, | weakened it with red pepper.
Then my charmer asked me to pu:
he poultices on her. OF course l
could not take so delicious a Job from
1im, and told him SO. l am bound
o admit that the hussy's feet aud
.nkles were the prettiest l ever saw.
have no doubt but Mr.. Brown
hought SO too.
This wonderful, unparalleled CON-
poal,ice had not been on
more than two minutes before she
opened her eyes-her charming blue
,yes-and began TO squirm. My
lear, delightful husband rushed to
he rescue and pulled the mustard off
Ter, and in an instant she stiffened
lersell in another convulsion. All
his time she had not lost color, and
Ter pulse was unchanged. She knew
perfectly we'll that | had no conf
lence in her acting, and rather sup
PRESSED herself when I was in the
DOM. When ! went out, and peeped
through the key-hole, could see her
caring at her bosom and hair, and
rying to bite her two attendants. l
lope they enjoyed the performance!
Poor Billy sat on the bed trying to
lold her hands, to keep her from
,urling herself. He was all anxiety
low, and all contrition. He begged
Ter forgiveness now in the most hum
lie and pathetic way. He told her
hat no matter what she should do in
he future, he would never ask her q
question nor utter reproach. Then
he would roll her eyes up quite ou,
If sight, aud her one hundred and
linety pounds avoirdupois would set.
le an inch deeper into the mattress.
}, dear! how l trembled for the
prings.
s.Will she die, Mrs. Brown?" said
Billy, during one of these QiteralD
linking spells.
"No danger, Billy" shifted.
40, look a. her!' he said, in an
'gitated tone SO painful to witness,
hat | found it difficult to restrain
myself from choking the suffering
nigel as she lay On the bed 60 con-
,eniently before me.
81 would rather have died than
lave seen her so,' he added with q
,roan.
"Perhaps you will learn from this