The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1876-08-25
VOLUME [. NO. I.
lOlcdO Dlhue.
CoYFEDRIT Y ROADS,
WICH is TIE STATE wv KENTUCKY,
August 7th. 1876.
Toledo Blade

August 7th, 1876.
There wuz wunst a doctor wich
he'd bark wich wood either phys
ic or puke, accordin ez he stript
off the tree up or down.
Like to this doctor is Tilden and
Hendrix. Reed ther letters up
and they are hard money physic-
reed EN- down and they are soft
money'tomick.
The day | got hack from the st.
Loois Convenshun ] cominenst
preparin for a stumpin toor Tor
our gallent standard -barers. |
borrowed an extra shirt, so that |
Good hev one; borrowed a valise
to kerry it in when | wuzn't
speakin, and also to give me
standin at sich hotels, ez the Com
mittee didn't become responsible
for my board, and Bascom COM
pleted my travelin outfit by CON
tributin a quart bottle Nv the
newest, to be kerried in the valise
to be yeosed when in lokalities
where the necessaries NV life wuZ
hard to come at.
Ez | coodent go out instructin
Nv the people till | knowd wat
my candidates bleeved in, | deci-
ded to wait till | got their letters
Nv acceptance. Did that likker
stay in the valise9 Not any. 1t
wuz all gone the fust day, and |
went to BascOm with the empty
bottle the next mornin.
"Fill it up, G. W." sed l. ~
cant go till | hev seen them. let
ters."
"When will they Gomez" askt
he.
To-day or tomorrow" sed l.
"Yoo shood hev kept wat 700
he'd till the letters come" said he.
"Bascom," wuz the response,
.likker like yoors cannot be
kept"
And then seein trouble ahead |
con tinyood:
"Promise me that 700 will keep
this bottle filed till them letters
come. 1t will be but little
while, and remember, Bascom,
700 got the $4G0 that ITlden, the
Reformer, paid for my vote at st.
LooiS."
81 promise !" he groaned.
"And likewise, until | hev read
EN- and understood, EN-, SO that |
shell not 60 out and spout false
Dimocrisy."
II promise!" he groaned agin.
Day after day passed but no let
ters came. But promptly every
morning | wuz at Bascom's with
that bottle, which he groanily
flied. On the thirtieth day he
refoosed pint blank"
&c. w." sed l, sternly, "remem-
Der yoor promise. / may be call
ed any mint. 1t wuz foolish vir-
gins wat he'd no lie in ther lamps.
| am no foolish virgin. Fill up
the lamp for may be called to-
nite.'
And he filled it, becoz he he'd
promised.
But every mornin he wood lift
up his voice ez come, in and
howl, "Grashus hevehsl amt
them letters never comm to re-
leeve me Nv this incubus %
AT last one mornin the letters
come, in the Louisville papers,
and Bascom come over to me
happy, ez though a great wait had
bin lifted off him.
81 fill the bottle for the last
time "sssed he gaily, ''for 10 ! here
be the letters"
took the papers and red the
letters, and the next mornin wuz
promptly at hiz bar with the bot
tie.
Fill it" remarkt camly.
- mot any," sed he, "Yoo hev
"George Washington b." l re-
piled, "y0or promise wuz to keep
this bottle filled not only till / he'd
red the letters, BUT TILL | UNDERSTOOD
EN-. l hev bin applyin my intel
lex to EN- for ten hours, and ef |
know from them letters whether
| am to talk Hard money or Soft,
lmmejite Resumpshen or Per
petooal Postponement, | hope
never to be Postmaster"
" Il
Wat did that perfjus wretch do9
He telegraphed that very day to
both Tilden and Hendrix, ez fol
lers;
"She Nasty, on the stump, advocate Hard
money or SoftY Anser to wunst. lmpor-
tant, to sayp On innosent Dimocrat from
rooip,"
And the anscrs come prompts:
FROM TILDEN.
"Hard money, NV course but soften II q
good deal in the West Strike boldly, how
ever, for Reform and agln the Corrupshen
NV the Rcpubikin party. JllDES,'
| PROM HENDRIX.
"Solt money, Nv course, but harden 1t q
good deal in the East. Strike boldly, how
ever, for Reform, and agin the Oorrupshcn of
the Republican party, HESpRix'"
And so, hovin my instrukshons,
| he'd to 90, ! shell, however, be-
fore | speelS, get instrukshcns
from John Morrissey and Fernan.