The Osceola times., 1876-02-19
MAKING RAIN TO ORDER.
4 kenaueLy Minister'S Method OG 60
trolling Nature.

trolling Nature.
We have had but very little cold
weather this winter, but hereafter we are
to have even less. A Baptist minister
in Kentucky has discovered the origin
of storms and of cold weather, and has
invented method of controlling the one
and practically abolishing the other. II
we suffer from any further areas of de-
pressed barometer, or undergo any future
movement of torm-centers, il will be our
own fault.
According TO this ingenious meteorol-
ogist, there are two hostile currents of air
perpetually striving for the mastery in
our northern hemisphere. These are the
tropical current, blowing from the south
west, and the polar current blowing from
the north The former, which is warm,
flows near the surface of the earth, and
the latter, which is cold, flows, ordinarily,
above it. This is somewhat at variance
with the accepted theory that heated air
ascends, and cold air rushcs down to
supply its place, but no great discoveries
can be made without overthr0wing pre-
conceived notiens. Sir Isaac Newton,
previous TO undergoing that memorable
confusion from falling apple, must un-
doubtedly have believed that apples
usually fell upward, else how are we to
account for his astonishment at suddenly
discovering their tendency TO fall down
ward? II would have been folly for him
to have denied the truth of gravitation
simply because il conllcted with his pre-
vious theory, and, in like manner, we
ought not to reject the scientific Bap-
lists assertion AZ 10 the relative position
1 OF cold and warm currents, merely be-
cause it conflicts with an older theory.
The two currents flow peacefully in
their respective paths in summer, but in
winter the warm current frequently
strikes against the polar current, and the
two dam each other up. The result is
that ut the point of contact two vast piles
of warN aud cold winds are heaped up,
and neither of them is able 10 move.
| There is maritime anccdote of Dutch
sea captain, who, when tacking ship, is
| alleged 10 have braccd round his head
yards and his after yards, but to have
forgotten TO haul his maintopsail. AS a
consequence, he remained hove with his
and when at the end of that time a
friendly captain noticing his signal of
distress came to his aid, the Dutchman
informed him that he had become
CANNED bctwixt two winds" and wanted
10 bc tOwed out of No uncomfortable n
locality. In the light of the scientific
Baptists recent discovery, it is possible
| that injustice has been done the tradi-
tional Dutch skipper. He may not have
failed TO trim his yards properly, but may
actually have been caught between a
tropical and polar current. II 80, he
deserved sympathy instead of ridiculc,
and was really the original discoverer of
the curious fact in mcteorology which
has Just been re.discovercd in Kentucky.
Storms and cold weather are the i'm
mediate result of such collision be-
tween the two currents of air ~ has Just
been described. After the two winds
have struggled against each other for
more or less time the polar current
makes hole through the tropical cur
rent, and spills vast quantities of cold
and stormy weather through the open
ing. 1t is obvious that if we could drain
off the cold current into any one par
ticular locality, IL would not break
through and freeze other localities. Now,
this is precisely what the scientific Bap-
| tist proposes to do. He asserts that an
explosion of gunpowder will always
create vortex, into which the polar eur.
rent will flow from all directions. Thus,
ia battery OF cannon were fired, with
out intermission, say in northern Maine,
all the cold and storms which now occur
in other parts of the country would he
drawn into the vortex above the battery.
Perpetual winter and ceaselcss snow
storms would render Maine uninhabi-
table, except by the men in charge of
the battery, while cloudlcss summer
would never cease to smile upon the rest
of tine continent.
The discoverer of this priceless process
of controlling the elements is anxious
that the government should at once
send battery of l5-inch guns 10 the
Aleutian Islands, and dump our whole
winters supply of cold and stormy
this is done, he pledges himself that the
polar current will always flow to the
Aleutian Islands, and never back itself
up against the tropical current and form
storms centers in the United States.
The cost of the undertaking would be a
mere trifle in comparison With its value.
II would, however, be necessary 10 guard
against any explosion of gunpowder, ex-
cept at the designated dumpingground.
The small boy must he made to under
stand that he can not create winter in
the backyard with horse-pistol, and
the patriot must be forbidden TO bring
about storms on the 9Th of July by firing
crackers on the Fourth. We have only
to secure the Aleutian battery against
any competition, and we shall rid our
selves forever of ice and snow, Of areas
of depression and nomadic storm-centers.
The labors of the Weather Bureau will
then no longer be needed, and instead Of
probabilities we shall have the continued
certainty Of sunahine, warmth and calm,