The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-06-01
WHOLE NO. 1912.
Miscellaneous.

Spell bound-stuek on a void 81 the
spelling match.
A good lawyer 10 not a necessity. for
necessity knows no Law.
A mild form Of new.mown.ia-the hay
fever.-[N. y. Commercial Advertiser.
A Trenton bankrupt always valued his
possessions above par. That 10 his heav.
iest lie ability.
just the thing for inquisitive people
How 20 ring maehinc.-[N. Y. Com.
mercial Advertiser.
The Chicago Times is authority for the
1 statement that pair Of Indiana twins,
each ffty years old. wish 10 pass them.
selves on for a eentenarian.
Rhode Island sends to the Centennial
/ q policeman who measures six feet three
/ inches That comes from living In q
small state Not having room tosprcad,
he ran up.
A correspondent inquiries what We will
pay for original stories-such. for IN.
stance. a. We published In the Sunday
Republican" Three cents q pound
81. Louis Globe. Democrat
A shipwreeked crew has recently been
killed and eaten by the eannibals IN Aus-
tralia. IL 10 shocking 70 think that there
still live Eavagcs who can-nibblo their
own kind.-[New York Graphic.
The oldest piano in America is on lie
way TO the Centennial 20 be claved and
thumped around for the benefit Of small
boys with tears on the ends Of their
noses Detroit Free Press.
The other day a Black Hills stage.
driver undertook TO horsowhip bis pass
cngera into getting out and pushing up
bill. but the gold-seeksra held coroncr's
inquest and found that he died Of pneu.
monia.
A Milwaukee man made three unauo-
cessful-1ttempts 10 blow his brains out.
and then his wife told him "Don't try
IL again, John you havn't got any" lie
goes about saying he owes bis life 10 that
woman.
A erumbling old bachelor. after listen.
ing 10 the following. "She was muvera
own little darlin' wopsy popsy deary
ducksy. 80 she was. an she mus keep
still. asks. "Why don't women talk some
decent kind Of English 10 their children.
when a brisk breeze Is blowing about
the coattails Of pedestrians. IA u rarely a
man has sufficient nerve 20 preserve an
unconcerned air under the consciousness
that a new half sole has lately been put
on tho seat Of his pAntaloons. tCinoin.
matt Times.
The Alabama Planter complains that
its little garden patch was Improbable
lAst season: The snaila ate up the Gu
eumbers. the chickens ate up the snails.
the neighbora cats ate up the chickens
and we are now in search Of something
that will eat up the cats r
Ma, does pa kiss tho catY why.
no. my son. What In the name Of good
ness put that in your head 2 Cos when
pa came down stairs this morning he
he kissed Sarah In the hallway and said.
That's better than kissing that old cat
up stairs. amt IL Sarah r. New Orleans
Picayune.
I'm Philadelphia Alderman said
stout. pompous little man. a. he ap-
preached the turnstile on the opening
day. "Oh, that's no matter" answered
the gstekeeper. "that don't exclude you.
Pay your city cents, and you can So in
Commercial Advertiser.
During the Mexican war one Of the
generals came up 70 Captain Bragg and
,aid. Captain, the crisis has arrived
freF whercupon Captain Bragg said
10 his lieutenant, You hear what the
General Aays-hre T. Tho lieutenant
laid. But, Captain. don't see anything
10 Ere att "Firo AZ the crisis said
Captain Bragg.
"Ruskin observes that a. a rule women
have no eye for color. This explains
Why a woman is obliged 10 spend three
quarters Of a day in getting the exact
shade Of ribbon 20 trim a dress. while
when IL comes 10 mending her husbands
she seems TO think that yal-
Iow patch is just the thing 10 match
black broadcloth. - Norwich Bulletin.
An Eastern paper having had consider.
able TO say about raising chickens by
hand" the Galveston News responds
Such information IL not needed Al the
south The whole colored population
know how 10 do IL. and an cntsrprising
freedman can raise more pullcts in
single night on his way home from
prayer meeting. than that eastern editor
,ould raise in = year with all his science"
Some old fraud says. Get up with the
,un III you want 10 be healthy and wise
Il is easy enough 10 follow this advice In
The winter. when the sun acts scnsibly.
md doesn't get up until seven o'clock
but when he commences 10 got up at
four o'clock. We have observed that the
risest men give him about two hours
start, aud let their wives accumulate
health and uisdom.-l Norrisiown Her
AID.
Last week a millionaire committed
suicide in Belgium another was sued In
New Jersey for divorce and alimony for
having another wife. and one had lain
dead in Troy Tor ten days. bis burial be
ing deferred because he was believed 10
have been murdered for bis money. In
view Of these facts the Graphic urges.
I" Don't become a millionaire But how
10 a newspaper man 70 help becoming one
Of thora thtnua 1-f Norffafown Herald