New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1876-08-27
NASBY.

NAsBY.
A Convocatiou of Democratic stumper
Receive Their distractions from q
CoNFKDR1r ROADS,
Wich is in the State Nv Kentucky.
| August IA, 1876.
The men NV inf1ooence and them ez he
bin appointed to stump the State of In
jeany for the great reformer, Tllden. ant
tho tinanshel genius Nv the 18th sentry
Hendrix, met on the call nv the chairman
nv the centred committy in IDjenapolis yis
the grand organizer, witch is maxim q too
nv the diffrent States doin nv that.
One NV the speakers remarked that il
wnz ez hot ez hi. and rebooked him Il
wunst.
Don't speek unexpectedly nv thai
place." aed l, 1.-The heft Nv our trends arr
there. Never hevin scratched the Dino
Congris from that deestrick myself"
The grand organizer got to bizness TO-
wunst. He took the Dimocrstic platform
and explained it to the speakers 90 that
Their shoOd De yOonanimity in their talk,
and 80 that they shoodent clash in different
parts nv the State, but present , y0Ouni-
form front to the enemy. He got to the
civil service plank, and he remarked:
| Gentlemen, on this pint 700 must dwell
| with great earnestness, and at much length.
Make NO mistakes in this. Insist that of
| Tilden and Hendrix is elected no man shell
| be histed ont Nv offs becOz Nv his politikle
views; that no man shell be appinted to offs
| becOz Nv servises to party, and that titnis,
| honesty and sich, wich were Jeffersonyun
teste, shell govern the dlstribooshen Nv pat
| rOnage. Remember this, and make no mis-
col hnr or he Arryo1% ~
Immejitly every one Nv tho stumpers
| arose ez one man to his feet, and demanded
! to be heerd. They come up 10 solid platoons,
| and ez glanced along that line NV shinin
noses l wuz reminded Nv fireworks.
This is all very will, sed one, "but ex-
pectid that l wuz TO be collector NV the
| deestrik, in the event Nv the elecshen Nv
| the CRATE reformer."
II will hev the pOstoffis in my town, or
not word will how'll shrieked another.
And every blessid one Nv EN- insistid
that he'd hev place or reform mite go to
blazes.
The grand organizer rose. calmly. select
ed a book from out nv a dozen or mere he
he'd, and addressed hisself to the first man
who raised Q ehindy.
"Yo0r name is
'Simpkins."
"YOor county,
"Posey."
"You are down for collector, l see. Nv
course 700 will hev it,
''And what is fixed for me!" demanded
the second.
"Yoo are to hev the postofis in your town.
And before We 60 any further We will settle
this matter Nv ofises. We arranged with
your committy at st. Loois."
And he red out list Nv the offises in the
State, and who wuz to hev EN-. There wuz
some trouble, for they all warn't provided
for; nOr wuz those wich he'd bin provided
for allnz satisfied with wat he'd bin given
en-. 1t wuz all fixed, however, for in coun-
ties wich he'd DlmOcratic msiOritles sum nv
EN- we're promised nominations, and quite q
number nv consulships and small Turin
mishens were huv in to satisfy en- all.
The next question that cum up wuz how
to treet the money question. Instruchshens
wuz asked.
The grand organizer riz to his feet.
"Lemme see, >" he eed, "wat State am /
in9 Oh yes, l remember, Ipjesny. l find,
by referrin to my instruckshene, that in In
jeany 700 must be soft mOney-mOdritly in
the northern part Nv the State, but ram
PANTY in the extreme Southern part goin
ez fur ez Pendleton did, with strong and
decided leanin toward repoodiashon. Also
down Their 700 may sandwich in ez much
NV the niger ez 700 kin git in. Eff you
hev any old banners left over from former
campanes denouncin niger equality end
deprecatin margin niggers, it would be
well to trot EN- out again. Keturnin to
the currency, eft any NV 700 shood be
called to speek in other States-wich
you probably won't be- he added,
glancin at their faces, "don't tech
the topic at all till 700 hev consulted the
lokle committees. Be very kerful about
this. And in other States don't go on the
platform full OF likker, so ez 700 shell not
hoyy me Ia
for eff 700 should make an Inieany speech
in Connecticut it would ruin Us. Don't git
drunk till after the meetins, and after the
people hev all gone home. Here VOC NAV
do ez 700 please, for shood suppose the |
drunken the man WIZ the more he wood |
talk to the satisfaction of the Injeany Dim |
ocrisy. but in Connecticut and Moo York it's |
different. Yoo must keep sober till after |
the meetins there"
WhereupOn the speakers all rose ez one |
man and remarked that of it wuz all the !
same they didn't want to 90 to Connecticut |
or any Nv them beastly States to speak. |
They wuz simple cons nv nacher, and de- |
splsed bloated aristOcracy, SIGH ez the
grand organizer wuz describin.
Then l rose.
Sir" sed with stern and determined
look, lone thing more remains. Are we to
60 out like the Apossels without scrip in
our pursess That Good be done in JOodee,
for that climit wuz mild enuff to sleep out
doors, and the Apossels didn't hev whisky
Dr. tObacker to buy, ez hev been informed.
never saw in any Bible ever red any &C.
count nv Their dom It,"
''Uv course we can't elect the crate re-.
Former without money" ejackilated an.
other. I'm my county hev to import a
'ouple NV hundred nv irish patriots who
lint nateralized, and there are ten or a
iozen Irish wet groceries in my town who
rev to be arranged with to keep 'em strate.
Besides, one man who hez q stone quarry
ekires at least hundred dollars to keen
us men t,te enuff to bring EN- in solid on
leckshun day."
my friends" sed the grand organizer,
all nv this hez bin provided for. Do YOU
oppose the reformer wood let the coz NV
eform be jeopardized for want NV money!
20 700 suppose that John Morrissey wood
81 US 60 into the skrimmage unprovided3
ie is runnin his three faro banks mite and
ay' and hez pledged all his profits to the
OF; we hev assessed all the men to whom !
70 new promised the federal offices in Moo !
ORR, 1or money to kerry Ipjeany, and we
ev all that we kin yoose."
ana he gave each nv us enuh to do wat |
hood be necessary, and instructed NV Us to
raw on the committy in Moo York for
lore, ez fast ez it mite be needed, and went
in NAV He or0anizoa IllinOv noYf