The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-01-14
WHATT THE WITS say.

It seems that Paul Morphy isn't luna
tic-he is merely a lawyer. - Rochester
Democrat.
What an infinite blessing in family is q
cake-paddle. It is useful alike to turn up
the buckwheats and the young ones
Eastoa Free Press.
No man ever got married without some-
body calling him a fool.-Rtchmoad Enc.
Yes; and in nine cases out of ten it is his
wife does it.-Detrost Free Press.
Search the river! Perhaps Mr.. Tweed
has fallen into it. Do it at once. Do it
before the old chap has chance to be
bailed out.-Rochester Democrat.
A man found lying asleep under the pro-
jecting ends of pile of lumber this morn
ing was easily mistaken for q Brooklyn de-
tective in search of Tweed.-Brookly,,
Argus.
A movement is ON foot in France to abol-
ish the custom of shaking hands. AS we
never expect to run for a political Office,
we don't care whether the custom is abol-
ished in this country or not. Nerristosorl
Herald
There is rumor ahoat that the Demo
cratic majority in the House of Represent
atives are threatened with an attack of
craftsmanship. It can be traced to no re-
liable source and is generally discredited.
Brooklyn argus.
People would be much healthier, we
learn from Halls Journal Of Health, if
they ate more onions. The American ma
ton has one leading trait. They peril
their health out of respect to other people, S
noses.-Detroit Free Press.
A man with long hair and general poet
appearance, was seen ON the docks this
morning, and the impression gained ground
that he came to listen to the sad sea waves,
but it was subsequently discovered that he
was looking for ham which had got mis-
laid in the freight Office. - Bridgeport
Standard.
An exchange gives us a catalogue of Ne
vada's contributions to the Centennial,
which viii consist of "a white fox, black
eagle, a blue mule, a thousand pound lump
of birthstone, and baby that doesn't like
candy" If the other States of the Union
will do but half as well, the exhibition will
be we'll worth going several miles to see.--
C0urier-JoaraGl.
Randall takes his defeat like a little man.
He is to all outward appearances the same
suave, frisky, gaillard Sammy that he ever
was. 1t is only when bedtime comes,
he sits down in his night-shirt on the top of
his trunk to think: that the rosy tints of
ambition vanish, and life seems to him like
an illimitable Sahara. -Brooklyaa argus.
Somebody in Oregon has professed re-
ligion and sent the Secretary of War $40
which he stole while in the employment of
the government. If Moody and Sankey
could get together all the ex-officeholders
of the country and convert them and in
duce the to refund all the money they
stole, the government could afford to put
Ou d CicstA 6ulI0 every udg lok SAAo kcse VI Atc
.-Courier-Jograal.
He sat in q railway car. His head was
thickly covered with mass of red hair.
Behind him in seat sat man with hardly
any hair ON his head. He said to him, !"
guess you wasn't around when they dealt
out hair" "Oh, yes, was, replied bald
head, but they offered me q lot of red
hair, and told them to throw it in the ash
bin. -Pomghkeepsie Eagle.
1t cost this government the enormous
sum of twenty thousand dollars to enter
tain the King of the Sandwich Islands, on
his visit here We don't mind the $40, 600
SO much, but the internal stupidity OF a
country which possesses nearly two million
corner loafers, paying $4,000 to board a
cannibal at the hotels, is enough to make
even Milwaukee man blush.-Da Dan6urg
Neass.