davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
How They Gather Cocoanuts.

Cocoanut forests of thousands of
acres are spread over the plain back
Of Gale, Ceylon. The trees run up
without knot or limb from thirty to
eighty feet to the branches that bear
the fruit. A mature tree is only
about one foot to one foot and half
in circumference at the base, and it
maintains nearly this size all the way
up. How is the fruit gathered at
such height? The coolies climb
these trees like squirrels; they place
piece of rope around the legs, near
the ankles, so as to held them in po-
sition around the tree, and then with
out spur or other artificial help they
climb up with astonishing celerity,
gather the fruit and drop it ON the
ground. A single tree produces
about dozen cocoanuts, and the
coolie harvester is allowed one for
gathering the fruit of each tree
Cocoanut forests are really beauti-
full, presenting symmetrical growth,
graceful proportions and charming
shade. The fruit itself, with the in
closed milk, affords healthy food and
cooling drink; it is source of consid-
erable revenue from export; the fiber
of the shell is largely utilized for the
manufacture of cloth and rope. Next
to coffee, the cocoanut is the most
important and valuable product of
this island.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
Nepo1eon and Josephine.

Nepoleon married Josephine in
1895, she being then thirty-three
years old and he twenty-seven. The
marriage was a fortunate one for him
as his own words testify. "The Cir
cumstance of my marriage with
Madame de Beauharnais," he says,
"placed me on a proper footing with
the party necessary to my plan OF
fusion, one of the first principles of
my administration .... Without my
wife I should never have established
any natural relation with that class.
Another; declaration of his agrees per-
fectly with this idea: II win only
battles Josephine wins me all
hearts" 1t was proud boast of
Josephine's that she never kept any
one waiting a minute where punct-
uality depended upon herself; but
this quality of refined breeding was
signally wanting in Napoleon. When
the established hour for dinner at
Malmaison was six o'clock, and
though etiquette forbade any one to
approach the table before the an
nouncement of the head of the house,
he often failed to appear before seven,
eight, or even ten o'clock. a chick
en-, or some other article was placed
on the spit every fifteen minutes, by
order of the cook, who knew we'll the
habits of the emperor. The table
manners of Napoleon may have been
those of the hero; they were certain
ly anything but those Of the gentle
man. He completed the process of
cramming-it could scarcely be call
ed eating-in six or seven minutes,
as a rule. Ignoring the use of knives
and forks as regarding his own pla:c,
he did not stop there, but "helped
himself with his fingers from the
dishes nearest him, and dipped his
bread in his gravy" Knowing the
time necessary for the Emperor to
dine, the shrewder ones took care to
dine in advance. Josephine once
confessed this at the dinner table,
much to the amusement of the EN-
peror. The Empress always quilted
the table with Napoleon; but with
her never-failing consideration for
the comfort of others, she command
ed the rest, by a gesture, as she rose,
TO remain.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
Not to be Trusted.

A young man desired certain sit.
uatlon in the city, which he seemed
in a fair way to obtain. He was
agreeable in his manners, and the
firm was pleased with him. He was
highly recommended by friends OF
the different partners, and it was
thought he would soon rise to the
position of partner himself.
Meanwhile, the firm asked friend
who lived in the same town with
the young man to privately take a
note of the manner in which he spent
his evenings, and report to them.
The answer came in due time
The young man spent several even.
ings in the week in billiard saloon,
and on Sunday drove out with a span
of hired horses in company with two
or three 'fast young men," He did
not hear from the firm. They did
not need his services. He was not
the sort ola young man wanted in
honest business. Even men who
have no religious principles them
selves know how to value it in 9TH
ers. They feel safe in trusting a
clerk who is punctual at his church
and in Sabbath school, who is inter.
ested in his church and the doings of
the Young Mems Christian Associa-
tion," rather than in the last new
star at the theatre.
When | see n clerk of mine driv-
ing out for pleasure on Sunday, said
a man engaged in a large business, l
dismiss him on Monday. He had
learned oy experience that they did
not belong to the trusty class.
Straws tell the direction of the
wind, and things, you little dream of
do more than letters of recommends
ton to influence the opinion of 9TH
ers from you. They are taking notes
of your words and ways even when
you think yourself most unobserved.
If you would have the name of be-
ing honest and upright, there Is but
one way to win it. BE what you
wish to seem.
A man may wear a mask success
fully for time, but slight thing
may loosen it and expose to view his
true face. Besides, men of business
have remarkably sharp eyes, which
pierce right through masks. 1t is not
worth boys while to try and wear
one TO deceive them.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
Leap Year Rules.

l. Call III a handsome carriage
for the gentleman who is to honor
you, at eight o'clock sharp. Enter
tain the deaf old mamma for an hour
and a half, till he finishes his ex-
quisite toilet. When he comes down
and gives you one finger to press, tell
him he looks lovely tonight, and try
to look as silly as you can.
2. Conduct him tenderly to the
carriage and stow him away on the
back seat, with all his wraps. If it
be cold, have q hot brick ready for
his little feet. On arriving, lead him
to the warm and elegant dressing
room and 60 and stick your cover
mgs somewhere in the little cold
dressing room-under the bed, if you
can't do any better.
3. Button his gloves for him and
escort him to the parlors or ball
room. Seat him on sofa and your
self on the wall adjacent. Try to
look happy, and rest assured that you
don't succeed.
4. During the evening see that
the gentleman is famed when he is
warm, lemonaded when thirsty, and
protected from draughts. Don't for
get to say sweet and silly things to
him whenever opportunity offers.
5. If the gentleman be a good
dancer keep him to yourself, and on
no account suffer him to accept invi-
tations to dance from ladies prettier
than yourself. If he be but indiffer-
ent leave him to the tender mercics
of the homely girls and the wall.
6. When you invite a gentleman
to dance, say with an idiotic simper:
"Mistaw--, May I how the plez-
zaw of dawncing this kwardwill with
you?" In the Lancers talk interest
ingly of the weather; and in the
grand cham tramp on your partners
coat-tail, if possible.
I. Manage to slip out slyly sever
al times in the evening, and come in
chewing coffee or "trix."
8. At supper stand behind his
chair and work yourself to a white
heat keeping him supplied with the
choicest delicacies, but though You
faint, don't taste a morsel yourself
until he has laid away the entire bill
of fare and three plates of ice cream.
If he wears anything which coffee
will stain, manage to spill some
on it.
9. When you leave you must not
grumble because somebody has sat
on your hat in the little cold dressing
room, or made shoe-brush Of you
cloak, but you may swear little on
the stairs.
10. Put on his arctic overshoes
for him and place him in the car
riage. Now go back to the dressing
room for him at least three times for
stray fans and gloves. Yawn all the
way home. Kuss the driver for not
stopping exactly before his pas front
door. Say good night, and whisper
coachee to stop at Hellery's on the
way to your residence.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
How He Gat Rid Of the Alligators

| Southern correspondence of the Pittsburgh PA
Telegraph.
Laylng-in taking on wood one trip
between Red River and Bayou Sara,
l addressed an old darkey standing
on the bank:
"Uncle, l suppose you have plenty
of alligators around here?"
"Marsa, we used to take a might
smart heap Oh dem out in de swamps
and bayou, but dcre dun all cleaned
out, tells you."
"Why, how is that, Uncle?"
"Well, you see, Marsa, 1 was wild
Mr.. Lincum's soger boys, an l learn
ed heap bout dem tings. Was wild
de boys whar dere was some mighty
hard scratchen, l tell you. Larned
all bout dem tarpeedies, frowen
shells, &c. When l come back home
l had plenty of powder and some
Of dem tings what you pull wild a
string to fire de cannon wild. Dem
alligators had been playin' the debil
when l cum back dun toted off
nearly all OBJ my pigs. One day I
sees one of dem pigs layen by de
bayou wild his legs broke an nearly
all his bret gone. So l kills him an
cleaned out; den I gets one oh dem
cans what dey puts up fanatics in an
filled him up wild powder an matches,
den l fastens him up tight and puts
a little hole in de top and puts one
dem tings in what dey touch de can
mons off wild, den I ties my string to
it jus as if l was gwine to fire dc
cannon, den l puts him in de pig and
sows him up and totes down by de
water. Den I gifts back 'mong de
cane, wild de end OBJ de string in my
hand to wait. Presently, by and by,
l seed one dem ugly black heads
swimmin' towards de pig. Yah, yah,
l couldn't help latin, jus linked what
dat feller was gwine to cotch. Purity
soon he made diye for dat pig, an
swollered him right off an started.
Den I pulls de string, yah, yah, yah,
hi, hi, he, he. Marsa, I declar' to
goodness if dat alligator wasn't blown
into free million pieces, and piece
of dat same pig struck me OH de head
an nearly knocked me down. Dere
hasn't been one dem gators seen
bout har since. 'Spect dey found
out dat one Oh de Lincum sogers lib
bed round desc parts"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
Moral Courage In Daily Life.

These maxims, under the head of
Moral Courage" are posted on the
office door of New York merchant:
Have the courage to discharge a
debt while you have the money in
your pocket.
Have the courage to do without
what you do not need, however much
your eyes may coyet it.
Have the courage to speak to 4
friend in seeiy coat, even though
you are in company with rich one,
and richly attired.
Have the courage to speak your
mind when it is necessary to do so,
and hold your tongue when it is pru-
dent that you should do SO.
Have the courage to own that you
are poor, and thus disarm poverty of
its sting.
Have the courage to tell man why
you refuse to credit him.
Have the courage to tell a man why
you will not lend him money.
Have the courage to cut the most
agreeable acquaintance you have
when you are convinced that he lacks
principle;-a friend should bear with
a friends infrmities, but not with his
vices,
Have the courage to show respect
for honesty, i'll whatever suise it ap-
pears, and your contempt for dishon-
esty and duplicity, by whomsoever
exhibited.
Have the courage to wear your old
clothes until you can pay for new
ones.
Have the courage to prefer comfort
and prosperity to fashion in all
things.
Have the courage to acknowledge
your ignorance, rather than to seek
for knowledge under false pretenses.
Have the courage in providing an
entertainment for friends, not to ex-
ceed your means.
Have the courage to insure the
property IN your possession, and
thereby pay your debts in full.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
A Hard Question.
Max Adler, in New York Weekly.


A man called at the Office of Law
yer McGinn the other day; and af-
ter introducing himself, said:
"Mr. McGinn, l want to state a
case to you. A little while after the
war broke out, l concluded that as a
citizen l had duty to perform in be-
half Of my bleeding country. l had
heard the call to arms, and my soul
was filled with fierce desire to strike
a blow against the enemies of my
native land. In short time my res
olution was taken. Arranging my
business, I embraced my family,
buckled on my accounterments,
shouldered my musket breathed an
aspiration for my country's success,
and with firm determination to de-
tend the right at all hazards, marched
to the recruiting station where heroes
were gathering for the fray, and there
bought substitute for 1915. I gave
him my muslet and my blessing; l
told him not to dishonor me by cow
ardlce, but to face the foe as would
have done, and sent him to the front,
while l returned to my family and
wondered what would become Of
Freedom but for the bravery of her
children.
cit is a wonder," said Mr.. Nc
CHM.
eyes, sir. Well, the substitute
went to the war. In one of the fights
he was shot in the leg, and it had to
be amputated. He bore it like a
man. I couldn't have done it better
myself. And then he came home to
stay. Now, of course, when soldier
has his leg shot to pieces, he is enti-
tied to a pension. And the point l
want to get at is this, who is to get
that pension, the substitute or me?
Now, it strikes me I am the right
man to have it. Who is this man?
He is my agent. He represents me.
Virtually he aoas me. When he
fought in the ranks it was really
me fighting; it was really l that lost
the leg, therefore, it is actually that
is entitled to the pension. Doesn't
it strike you i'll that way?"
81 Dunno" said McGinn. "There
is something in the way you state it.
You are entitled to the pension as
the principal in the transaction, and
the substitute also is entitled to it as
the man who lost the leg. The gov
ernment is obliged to pay both of
you the same pension; but as 1t can
only pay one of you, the question is,
which shall it pay
"Jes so; and | say it ought to pay
it to me. When l handed that $275
to that man, then he got his dues.
"I tell you how you can get a
it," said Mr.. McGinn. eff that man
really represented you, you would
have been dead in the eyes of the
law If he had been killed, and if he
should die now youl friends would
be justified in burying YOU"
"That seems to be straining the
thing a little"
"Not at all. Well, now, rll get
you that pension if you'll agree to
creep into a coffin and be carried out
to the cemetery, and hustled into the
grave as soon as that substitute dies"
81 guess won't accept. I'll drop
the matter as it stands. The man
has consumption and chronic liver
complaint"
We'll, l am going to have you
buried, anyhow, when he steps out.
That's the law"
"Then you must excuse me. iii
skip the country" and Mr.. McGinu's
warrior left the office suddenly, and
has never put IN an appearance since.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
Beaten at Her Own Game.

$50 you have finished your studies
at the seminary? Twas much pleas
ed with the closing exercises. The
author of that pocm-Mlss White,
think you called her-bids fair to be-
come known rs poet" awe think
the authoress will become celebrated
as poetess," replied the young lady,
pertly, with marked exphasis on
two words of the sentence. cob!
ah," replied the old gentleman, look
ing thoughtfully over his gold spec
tacles at the young lady. 81 hear
her sister was quite an actress, and
under Mr.. Hosmsr's instructions will
undoubtedly become quite sculptor
ess." The young lady appeared irri-
tated. "The seminary" continued
the old gentleman, with imperturba-
BILE gravity, els fortunate in having
an efficient board of manageresses.
From the presidentess down to the
humblest teacheress, unusual talent
is shown. There is Miss Harper,
who, as chemistress, is unequalled,
and Miss Knowles has already repu-
tation as an ASTRONOMERS. And, in
the depart of music, few can equal
Miss Kellogg as singeress." The
young lady did not appear to like the
chair she was sitting on. She took
the sofa at the other end of the room.
eyes," continued the old gentleman,
as if talking to himself" those White
girls are very talented. Mary l un-
derstand has turned her attention to
painting and the drama, and will
surely become famous as an actress
and paintress, and even as lecturess.
A loud slamming of the door caused
the old gentleman to look up, and the
criticess and grammarianess was
gone!
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
Tho Silver Block for tho Centennial.
From the New York Sun.

FROM the New ork sun.
The City of Havana brought to
New York, March 10th, block of
pure silver, weighing 1920 pounds,
and worth $4,000 in gold. The
block is foot in diameter, and has
six sides, each three feet long. 1t
belongs to the Pho Bermejello Il Co.,
bankers, of the City Of Mexico, who
have consigned it to Gomez, Sionda
& Co., of 8 Old Slip, to be exhibited
among the Mexican products at the
Centennial. 1t was exhibited at the
Mexican exhibition last year. The
silver forming this immense block is
said to have been dug from the Real
Potosi, one of the Oldest mines in
Mexico. The treasure lies in a hexa-
gona box in the hold of the steam
ship City of Havana. The purser of
the Havana says the silver block, in
its box, lay a day and 4 night I'M
guarded on the wharf at Vera Cruz.
at wouldn't stay long on a wharf in
New York." he added. The silver is
to be examined by the United States
Appraiser, and then it Is to be de-
posted in the New York Safe De
posit Company's vaults to await Or
ders from the Mexican Centennial
Commissioner.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
How they Cured the Tutor.

He was the pink of perfection.
If the cream of human excellence
was to be churned the butter would
lump up into the shape of Prof. Por-
teus Prye, tutor. He had contracted
the habit of stealing up stairs in his
stocking feet, to see if the lights were
out at ten. 1t is hard teaching old
dogs new tricks, but boys succeed
better with old Professors. Tommy
Tayre is a cadaverous youth, with a
sulphur colored moustache, but the
iron had entered his soul and he said
he must do what he could. So he
bought three papers of carpet tacks
one night, and stood the innocent
little nails upon their heads all the
way up and down the stairs, and
retired with his faithful followers to
the wood closet above to await re-
suits. Promptly the chapel bell
struck ten, then season of waiting
and whispering followed. Presently
came a furry, creeping sound like
woolen stockings feeling their way
over rough boards. Tommy tucked
his hat in his mouth-his mouth runs
clear round, except small isthmus
which connects the top of his head
with the nap of his neck-and held
his nose till the first burst of glee
had subsided. Now came a suppress
ed scream with one foot on the stairs;
then another foot down; then a
scream that wasn't suppressed; then
a howl; he had struck the second
stair; then he set down on the steps,
and he got up again, and a groan,
with exclamation points after it, came
tearing up to the wood closet. The
boys stood back to give Tommy
room to kick; then came scrabbling
and shouting of heavy words and
a distinct mention of the name of the
"father of iniquity," and Tommy at
once appeared, and asked in voice
fresh from the valley of Nod.
"What seems to be the matter?"
"Matter! The boys! The demons!
Contound it! See here! Help!
And he shifted about and hung to
the railing and tried to stand on hls
knees. Tom brought light and the
boys carried the wounded man to his
room, offered sympathy, and got a
claw hammer and drew out the tacks.
The Prof. wears slippers and sets on
a cushion. Tom sets on nettles, for
seventeen boys know the secret and
it is spreading like small pox in an
Indian camp.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
MEMORIES.

When the gray twilight softly spreads
Her robe O'er earth and sky;
When the far mountains shaggy heads
Are lost to human eye;
When the tired bird at eve hath sought
Sleep in the tuneless bower;
When the last bee wings homeward, fraught
With forage from the flower;
When the dark pinewood dimly shows
Its deepening tints of green;
When in the west with crimson glows
The sunsets closing scene
watch the glimmering shadows kiss
The threshold of the night,
And o'er my heart soothing bliss
Falls in the waning light;
And grosser thoughts that sternly cling
To life's dull, sober day,
Leave me, as swallows on the wing
Fit from our sight away.
And soft as ripple on the lake,
Within my bosom rise
Half whispered yearnings, that awake
A thousand memories
Sweet memories that only come
To woo my waking dreams,
When twilight shrouds the woodlands dumb
And slumbers on the streams
OF faces that loved of yore,
And songs that loved ones sang,
And children's voices heard no more
That through the greenwood rang.
o, spirit treasures, we are mine,
And to my heart belong,
Yet linger not till repine,
Or sing sadder song;
But leave me while still have power
To catch the sunny glow
Waited from memorys blissful bower
The shrine of long ago.
Chambers J0arnGI.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21

A new paper machine, probably
the largest ever made in the United
States, has lately been completed at
the Gavit Machine Works in Phila-
delphia, the total length OF which is
90 feet, and weighing over SO tons.
The machine is what is termed 90.
inch Fourdriner machine, capable of
making a sheet of paper 90 inches
wide.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21

A Norristown man dreamed that
he was the chief of the Pawnees, and
getting up IN his sleep he procured
large cheese knife, gave sa,,,..oa an ear, ar.
wife's hair with as much neatness
and dispatch as if he had been per-
secuted red man from his birth. 1t
was a fortunate thing for his wife
that her hair was hanging on the
back of a chair and not upon her
head.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21

The boss Economist" is Deacon
c., of New Jersey, who furnishes
bread for communion services in his
church. He saves the dice-like bits
that remain when the sacrament is
over. The other day, while the COM
munion bread-plate was passing, his
little son said: "Ma, they are taking
quite good deal, and you was going
to have bread-pudden tomorrow
Amt they mean?"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21

A school inspector visiting a school
said: "Now, children, who loves all
men?" The question was hardly put
before a. little girl, not four years old,
answered, call women"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-04-21
What He Has Lost.

A correspondent sends us the fol
lowing good speech which, as she
assures us, is nearly a verbal report
of one that she heard at a temperance
meeting:
"I have been thinking since came
to the meeting tonight about the
losses l have met since | signed the
total abstinence pledge. l tell you,
there isn't man in the society that
has lost more by stopping drink than
| have. Wait bit till tell you
what mean. There was a nice job
of work to be done in the shop to-day
and the boss called for me. 'Give
it to Law said he; 'he's the best
hand in the shop" Well, I told my
wife at supper-time, and says she,
"why, Laurie, he used to call you the
worst. You've lost your bad name
haven't you?' 'That's a fact, wife,
said I. And it amt all that 1 have
lost in the last sixteen months either.
l had poverty and wretchedness, and
L We lOsG llCII. Idu ttu Olu ldSSCu
coat and a shocking bad hat, and
some waterproof boots, that let the
water out at the toe as fast as they
let it in at the heel. I've lost them.
I had q red face and a trembling
hand, and a pair of shaky legs, that
gave me an awkward tumble now
and then. l had habit OF cursing
and swearing; and I've got rid of
that. l had an aching head some
times and n heavy heart; and, worse
than all the rest, guilty conscience.
l thank God! I've lost them all!
Then l told my wife what she had
lost. you had an old, ragged gown,
Mary said l, 'and you had trouble
and sorrow, and poor, wretched
home, and plenty of heartaches, for
you had a miserable drunkard for a
husband. Mary! Mary! thank the
Lord for all you and have lost since
l signed the Good Samaritan pledge" ,"