Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-07-29
srBAY WAITS.

ed SO, and SO were caused by fireworks.
sMen who play croquet," says the
New York Herald, s'are now called the
third SEX"
Queer. Edwards Pierrepoint is our
Minister TO England, and Pierrepoint Ed
wards is British Consul at New York.
One of the Sultan's wives went into the
millinery business, but the others order
ed summer bonnets On credit and ruined
her.
The individual who called tight boots
comfortable defended his position by say
ing they made man forget all his other
miseries.
Ingenious youth-@Oh, yes, l dare say
she's very clever and all that, but hate
! clever women, and so I've come to talk
with your
There is as much Latin i'm the muscle
of Harvard girl as there is muscle in
the brain of Vassar manor something
of that kind.
A Sioux once saw small balloon at a
circus in st. Paul, andhe fell back dead.
Poor Custer ought to have had about
three balloons.
| A Boston tailor has had his bill heads
stamped with with picture of a forget
me-not. This is all right as long as Gus
toners have anemone.
Little girl. noticing some Fourth of
July soldiers who were marking time
during a halt-"Poor men! They must
be tired, they wobble So"
Danbury has it exactly. "Doing busi-
ness without advertising" he says, sis
a good deal like trying TO borrow flag
ON the Fourth Of July.
Irasciblc gent Ito waiter)-"They say
there's nothing like leather, don't they =
"Yes, SIR" sSrhen it's lie, for this
steak is" (Waiter evapora.es.)
! An Essex farmer is obliged to chalk
around the farm, to save himself from an
old bull which has strong antipathy to
red.
The wicked Chicago Times says the
kilograms make it look as though the
!, Servians had revolted against the alpha
bet, and ripped the vowels out of it for a
beginning.
The Emperor and Empress of Brazil al
rived at Liverpool last week, from New
York. They landed without demonstr;l-
tion, drove to the railway station and
proceeded to London.
| A base ball club has been organized at
Troy, composed entirely of old base ball
players who have been MANNED playing
the game. The club will be appropriate
ly named the Old-limp-ics.
The Wisconsin Sheriff-s daughter who
stunned and recaptured an escaping pris-
oner with croquet mallet, deserves a
vote of thanks, Notwithstanding the slight
in-for-mallety of the procedure.
! We believe in manly sports. Can any
thing be more imposing than to see 500
or 1,500 athletes sitting OH hard benches
in the broiling sun watching game of
base ball between two hired mines.
| Farmers who fill potato bugs with
Paris green, and then fill turkeys with
potato bugs, may expect to fill holes in
the ground with turkeys. Even in Gen.
tral New York they are finding this out.
On Saturday lady applied for admis-
sion to the Centennial at one of the turn
stiles, but the breadth of her body being
nearly as great as its length, it was nee
essary to open a wagon gate to let her
in.
Auber said of Oflenbach: "Hc has one
advantage over composers who may be
considered more serious; he signs all he
writes" The Philadelphia Press adds
that, unlike some literary celebrities, he
also writes all he signs.
Is it not time that you paid me that
$5?" said the farmer to his neighbor.
"'Tain't DUE" was the reply. But"
said the farmer, 'yOu promised TO pay
me when you got back from New York"
"Well. haiu't been," was the reply.
| A st. Louis man has invented steam
substitute for hand-car, which will car
ry six persons at rate of about 80 miles
an hour, can be turned i'm any direction
and taken from the track in a moment.
Several eastern roads are adopting them.
When you reflect, says the Bulletin, OF
Norwich, that at picnics 100 years ago, it
was the custom for the girls to stand up
i'm row and let the men kiss them all
goodbye, all this enthusiasm about Ma
tional progress seems to be grave mis-
| take.
They have curious way of deciding
lawsuits in Norths Siam; both parties
are put under cold water, and the OF
staying the longest wins the suit. In
this country both parties are thrust into
hot water and kept there as long as pos
sible.
A fcrocious dog attacked negro at
Rome, Georgia. a few days ago. The
man had lighted lantern i'm his hand,
with which he struck the dog. The
force of the blow drove the lantern frame
over the. animals head, and before the
flames wele extinguished it was burned