Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-03-30
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
A BAD cur-Filthy lucre.

HYDROGRAM is the new name Tor dis
patches by water cable.
A MAN can find fault in any direction
he is pleased to look for it.
IN San Francisco they contemptuously
call silver dollars "stove-lid currency"
Boston society folks say that the leap
year parties of that city are simply "stu-
pid."
LIVING beyond ones income is like try
ing to walk race with a number eight
foot cncased in a number six boot.
THE champion lobbyist at Washington
is woman. She spoils more button
holes than she makes.-St. Louis Repub-
l5can.
THE Alta California says that it is as
useless to try to keep the American adj
venturers out of the Black Hills as to try
to keep woman out of a dry goods store.
PRECIOUS MNx.-A little girl at q
school examination, in reading her piece
changed Keats verse into {" A thing OF
beauty is a boy forever. "-HarJord
Times.
AN Kroplane Navigation Company,
with capital Of 100000 shares Of 500
each, has been incorporated in California
to transport passengers and merchandise
by balloon.
RICH men, according to the Pittsburgh
Commercial, are apt to nave poor courage.
Perhaps; but what do they want with
courage? A fat pocket-book and discre-
ton are better than all the courage ever
invented.-ErchGnge.
A NEW YORK genius entrusted trunk,
with a hive Of bees in it, to the tender
mercies of Syracuse baggage master
the other day The company will pay for
the bees, and the doctor thinks his pa
tent will be around again in fortnight
or so.
FASHIONABLE lady coming out Of
church: What powerful sermon! [
was never before so impressed with the
duty and privilege of giving freely. I am
determined to do better, and to send this
very week another silk dress to my
daughter"
The time for a man to stand firmly by
Jobs example is when he washes his face
with home made soap and begins to paw
around over the chairs with his eyes shut,
inqulring for towel, quick, and is told
that the towel is in the drawer, but the
keys are lost.
THE spring birds have begun to come.
One Of them flew into the residence of
Calumet avenue beauty a day or two since,
and the lady took such pity on the "poor,
dear little thing" that she called in the
taxidermist and had him stuff it for her
bonnet-Ch5cago Journal.
A CHINAMAN IN San Francisco was
fudely pushed into the mud from a street
crossing by an American. He picked
himself up very calmly, shook off some of
the mud, bowed very politely, and said,
with mild, reproving tone, to the offend
er: 6 You Christian, me heather; good
by!"
A MAN at Darlington, N. Y, having a
horse which was rendered almost worth
less by the heaves, sent it recently to a
relative in Hampton, Va, in the hope
that, as in the case of some human inva-
lids, the warmer cline might restore his
powers. Within few days its complete
recovery has been reported.
THE following new scale of postal rates
has been sent to an exchange by a CORE
spondent:
one-cent stamp for a circular.
two-cent stamp for newspapair.
three-cent stamp for sealed lettair.
AL licked on in the right cornair.
Lick, brothers. lick with care,
On the right-hand side, not everywhere,
Unless you want the postmastair
To make things hot and ''cuss and swear"
PERSON with cold in his head to person
opposite referring to open window in
railroad-car): Say, wild you shud up
that widow" Middle-aged woman in
weeds, who had been talking for the last
half hour, turning round Indignantly:
"What do you mean, sir? 1t is a pretty
how -de-do when a woman can't open her
mouth I'll have you to know you can't
shut me up!" Sensation.
SHE was beautiful creature, a maiden
etherealized. Her eyes were trife sad.
perhaps, but looking at her one knew the
sadness came from a sweet regret at the
grossness of the world about her. She
seemed unfit for companionship with
ordinary man but rather a fitting bride for
a poet or a painter or sculptor, one whose
imaginings and hopes she might be in
sympathy with. Still, she married dead
animal contractor.-EGcba1age.
PRESIDENT ELIOT, of Harvard, told
the following story of himself at the re-
cent dinner Of the New York Harvard
Club. He said that, contrary to the usual
course of nature, he was growing younger
instead of older as years advanced. About
twenty years ago, when he was atutor and
proctor, he was disturbed, one night, by a
noise in the yard, and, going out to see
what was the NATTER he heard a voice ex-
claim: Here comes old Eliot" But
last winter, walking into town, one even
ing, he met two undergraduates, and
heard one say to the other, when he had
passed by, 4 wonder where Charlie is
going at this time of night