The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1876-07-01

When In Aberdeen, DR. johnson dinsd
with clergyman, the soup being sshotch-
potch- The lady Of the house, after hmv-
ing served him once, asked IL he would
take some more. The gruG and stern
moakii6t and outsp0ken aociM bear replied /:
s1t u dish lit for hogs madam. Take
little more then" was the immediate
and apVropriate reply.
Seven o'clock 4. M.-Boy has terrible
toothache can't 20 10 school. Half pest
nine A. M.-A solitary 6gure may be Seen
EkuikinG through the streets leading TO the
creek ;idruhsntis pcvSon0, the 0ld-m -mafr. one
trunk strap, one boy. Let's draw the
curtain.
what would be your notion Of absent
mindedness !" asked Rufus Choats Of .
witness whom me was cross-exmmining.
well, said the witness, with "a atrnng
Yankee accent, 81 shonld say that y mass
who thought he'd left his watch 10 hum.
and took Il toat-n i pocket to see n he'd
'sseun ~ ge. hnm and get Il was lnatla -.
's'l
Judge Have you anything tn dlNhr A.
the court before sentence is passed on
your Prisoner-''No, Judge had SIO,
but my lawyers took that.
A Scotchman asked an Irishman -
why were half-farthings coined in Eng
land 7" Pats answer was-"To give q
Scotchman an oppottunity Of subscribing
to charitable institutions"
81 thought you said your head ached
1ve minutes ago" said mother, when
George asked for more candy. 80 did. ("
said George, ''and suppose it does now,
only can't feel it,"
A WORD 70 THE BoYs.-Truth il one of
the rarest of virtues. Many youth has
been lost to society by allowing falsehood
to tarnish his character, and foohshly
throwing truth away Honesty. frank
ness, generosity, virtue-bIeSsed traits
Be these yours, my boys, We shall not feaT
You are watched by your elders. Men
who are looking for clerks and apprentices
have their eyes on you. IL you are up-
right, steady and industrious, before long
you will find good masters, and the prospect
Of useful life before you.
Lucy TO her eldest sister, who had lust
been relating thrilling episode in the life
of William Tell)-" And was the little bow
allowed to eat the apple afterward q
A correspondent entered an Office and
accused the COMP litor Of not having
punctuated his communication, when the
typo earnestly replied: 'I'm not pointer;
I'm setter.
In attempting to carve fowl, one day,
gentleman found considerable difficulty
IN separating its joints, and exclaimed
against the man who had sold him an old
hen for young chicken. "My dear" said
the enraged man wife, "dont talk 80 much
about the aged and respectable Mr.. B. He
planted the FIRST hill Of corn that was
planted in our town" ~ know that,
snarled her husband, and believe this hen
scratched it up
How shall we settle the labor question:
exclaimed q member Of the Georgia LeQis-
lature in the midst Of his speech. I" By
all going to work and earning your living
honestly, Numbered a spectator in the
gallery That sentiment b Onght down the
house.
II say, Jim, which would you rather,
that hon tore you in pieces or tiger r.
Why, you goose, Of course ia rather 4
lion tore tiger in pieces.
Mamma" asked little Alice of her
mother, the other day, "where does milk
come from?" "The cows give it, my dear"
was the reply. ''Oh, | see, remarked the
little one, after few moments reflection,
''tne cows give the milk, and the bullocks
b. tef-tea."
A. impecInious man in Albany announ-
ces that his golden wedding will come of
Just twenty years hence, and tlat he will
allow liberal discount on any presents his
friends design To make him then il they
will hand them in now.