Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-03-31
G1eanings.

Natural humbugs-bees.
Artificial humbugs-girls.
A "big bug"-the cnokroach.
Not meat to be eaten-Bob veal.
Not a bad-bred boy-Johnny Cake.
Carvers of their own fortunes-Butch-
ers.
The best philosophy - A contented
mind.
Retcence is the comeliest child Of COM
mon sense.
Ought to be allowed to sit down--A
merchant of 40 years standing.
California spent $4,000 in hunting
down and killing bandit Chavez
Punch defines fashionable extremes"
as high heels and low foreheadS. ="
Mr. Parton is bound there shall be no
Parton twixt himself and his bride.
Winslow says: "Sincc the fun l have
to pay for, wonder what I run away
for
DO lar So SOOu, iS lilc DOJ "lCii
he finished the first pot of his mothers
jam.
1t was George Herbert who said hand
full of good life was worth bushel of
learning.
When does rain seem inclined to be
studious9 When it is pouring over
book stall
Soldiers ought to be good physiogno-
mists They all know how to right
about face.
The paternal equanimity receives ter
rlble shock from being called "Centen
NAL crank
A Philadelphia woman swore that her
husbands conduct was enough to "irri
tate an angel"
The proverb says, Laugh and grow
rat" What a saving of corn it would be
if pigs could laugh.
That's going too far" as the Boston
man said when his wife ran away to San
Francisco with another man.
"What are you doing there@' said a
grocer to a fellow who was stealing his
lard. ''Im getting fat, was the reply.
Some one wants to know what kind of
observations are made with railroad "tele-
scopes?" Rather striking ones, we should
say
The New York milkmen no longer
cheerfully sings, "We will gather at the
river" Watered stock costs them $50
can.
The question is asked why newspa-
pers will persist in abreviating 8 Son of
Temperance and make q S. o. T. of
him.
Marriage" said an unfortunate hus-
band, sis the church-yard of love" "And
you men," replied his wife, ''are the grave
diggers.'
"This is spanking fine vinegar" said
John Henry. ''Ought to be spanking"
renlied the young hopeful, there's moth
er in it.
a Danbury man had bag of oats last
week, which he calls the Seamless, as
they won't have to be sown. Some one
stole them
A violin of Antonious Stradivarius,
with two bows, and bearing the date 7n2,
recently brought 6,000 francs at public
sale in Paris.
Did you notice how splendidly l went
Tom?" "Yes, and noticed you kept it
all the way homer
Mr.. Trowbridge, in his last poem on
a marriage, speaks OF CLASSY smiles"
But then you can have CLASSY smile in
almost any corner grocery,
When mouse makes its appearance in
L lady's sewing circle, the women with
striped stockings on and the prettiest
boots always jump the highest.
A geologist says that he never heard of
secondary formation without pleasure
the ladies being the secondary formations,
for they were formed after the men.
"De you know who / am?" asked po.
liceman of a fellow whom he had seized
by the throat. Not exactly, sir; but l
fancy you are the malignant collarer."
"Going for the bottom facts" Is what
the conscientious Brooklyn mother calls
it now when she slippers her youngest
hopeful for fixing cloths pin on pussy's
tail,
There is something touching in the plea
Of a Boston chap caught zig-zaging across
the Common the other night: Flows
you 'spect feller (hic) steer straight
'thouter Elm (hic), say"
A new dish is grape leaves fried in egg
batter; it is called a French dish An ex-
change remarks: I'VE can't think of
anything that would be more delicious
than fried grape leaves, unless ii is a cir
Gus poster on toast"
Adirondack Murray says that "men
were made to think and women were
made to talk" and the Chicago Times
asks him Ito mention any occasion since
Eve commenced with the serpent, when
women had to be made to talk"
Eliza" said a clergyman to one of his
parlshioners. whom he saw with her hair
in curling papers, ''if God had designed
your hair to curl, He would have curled
it for you" ''Hc did, sir, when ! was
child" was the reply; "but He thinks
now l am old enough to do it myself"
A good Deacon took his son to church,
having heard hard stories about him, but
while the deacon prayed the son pursuad
ed two of the young sisters to go riding
with him; and they went off with the old
mans horses, leaving him to find his way
home on loot.
A lady of Rockville, Conn, received
note the other day, asking if few friends
could have surprise party at her house.
She said yes, and took up her carpet and
made ample preparations. The evening
came and passed with not even caller.
That's wkere the surprise came in.
An actor fell through loose trap door
as he was leaving the stage. Emerging
instantly afterward, he was met with
hearty laugh and the remark of q wag;
81 am sorry to see you decend to such
claptrap maneuvers as that" " Yes" I"
was the quick reply; "but you'll admit
that never undertake anything without
going through"
That Baltimore mans flying machine is
not an overwhelming success; Keely's
motor is as quiet as the grave; Virginia
has refused to take part in the Centennial;
but German chemist has obtained fer
rocyanide of tetracyanide lemmonium
by saturating ferrocyanide acid with
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