davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

ORGANIZING THE FoRTy-FIFTH CONGRESS.
Saturday. whoa big English y saw that
it was going to be lonesome day for the boot
blacks, he set his head to work to devise some
thing to break the monotony. About 10 o.
clock he got a number Of boys into the alley
behind the Posts Office, and organized the
" FoIty-fifth Congress- Big English " is
a regular reader of the daily papers, and he
is great organizer. 1t took him but fifteen
minutes to get the a. House " and "Senate +"
running 80 smoothly that lawyers and others
looked down from their windows with great
interest.
"who's liar?" yelled white-headed
boy, as he jumped up.
"Oh, dry up!" shouted Sixth Ward
Tom"
"Put him out-he was in the rebel army {"
called boy from Grand River avenue
"Some ono dubbed my dog fifteen years
ago, and can never forgive him." howled
Strawberry Bob.
"Git out the records and less see who was
loyul," put in Kings boy.
Big English raped on bis box to restore or
der, but King Tommy threw up his hat and
yelled
az moves Tor the aizes and nozes'
:" He can't gag me shouted a lathy boy
from Windsor"
LESS lave a salary grab" piped . Con-
gress street boy.
i" The peepul won't stand it, whooped an
other.
"Ain't we the peepul?" demanded a boy
on the railing.
Arc we one country 2" asked tho Speak
or an he rose up.
~ are, but you amt . yelped " Nickety
Nick"
/" Doesn't one flag float for US all 2" con-
tinued tho Speaker.
(" 1t does about tax time screamed a
cross-eyed youth from Springwells.
Somebody kicked the honorable Speaker
He then struck the honorable gentleman from
Wisconsin. The honorable gentleman from
Wisconsin smashed at the honorable gentle
man from Georgia, and hair stood up and
coat-tails stood out. When the row had qui
eted down, the honorable Speaker remarked
:" 1t was pretty good for the fust time,
though you didn't abuse each other enough. y
Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

EAT SLowLy.--Many man has been
choked to death in attempting to swallow his
food before he had chewed it long enough.
Food in the stomach, surrounded with its
juices is like pieces of ice in glass Of water !;
for as the ice melts from without inwards, SO
the stomach juices dissolve the bits of food
from without inward, and, SO the smaller the
bits of food the sooner they are dissolved, and
pass GU. of the stomach, to be distributed to
the system, giving it life and warmth and Wig
or. But If the pieces of food are large, they
begin to rot before they are melted, causing
heaviness, belching, nausea, or other discom-
forts. These make bad blood, communicating
the breath, sending dullness to the head, de-
preston to the spirits, and universal feeling
of unwellness, lasting, sometimes, for half
day or a whole night. Therefore, eat slowly,
with delberation talk great deal at meals !;
cultivate cheerful conversation, and let any
man OF woman be considered domestic en-
envy and pest who docs or says anything at
the table calculated to cause single unpleas-
ant sensation in any one present.--HaPs
Journal Of Health.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

sprane back into the carriage alone while
the coachnan. with blushinr face. almost
lefted the finely dressed gentleman into Il.
Oh. what sad sad sight he had been drink
inc wine till his reason was zone. and he
could not walk so his own sweet child was
ashamed of him.
Then sallie rrasped the hard hand of Giles,
not caring now whether the smut rubbed of
or not. and told him all that was in her heart.
"Oh. father 70 she cried. az was 80 wick
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09
H1L1,s REBEL SPEECH.

What the Democracy think of Mr.. Hills
amnesty speech may be inferred from the
" straws blown from Democratic organs.
The New-York World, commenting on it,
says, " the general sentiment Of the Southern
members is one Of strong disapproval = and
even the Louisville Courier Journal condemns
itas !. unforgiying " and !. impolitic " General
A. 8. Williams, too, OF Michigan, declared,
when he heard 1t. that 'sit would cost the
Democracy of that State 10000 votes, and the
Chicago Times brands II as the uncorking
of hell Of Southern fury 1t will
be remembered that this man Hin was d
Senator in the Confederate Congress. He
could not be in the House Of Representatives
of the United States to-day but for the grace
and clemency Of Republican Congress,
which granted him amnesty. How has he
repaid that clcmencyf By speech in the
House in which he contrasts the "Confedcr-
ate " and Federal" policies during the re-
bellion, defending the former and attacking
the latter which he makes a savage and
bitter assault upon the war administration of
the martyr-P President, Abraham Lincoln in
and Of the Union soldiers as "your troops !;
in which he justifies his proposition, made in
the Confederate Congress, to execute every
captured Federal soldier and officer captured
on Confederate SOIL" by the infamous
SANDER that that course was necessary ITO
protect our wives and children from servile
instruction and slaughter {" and in which he
caps the climax of insolence by arraigning the
whole Republican party Ito which he is in
debted for the amnesty which gives him privi-
lege to speak at all, for ifanaticism, nfidelity.
tyranny and collaborating. This insolence
rises to sublmity, when, in the name Of trail
tors and rebels, he proposes to 'forgvs
the loyal Republicans for their 'sold sin, in
opposing the encroachments Of slavery. This
speech, and the presence of the author in tho
House of Representatives making laws for
loyal men---this spectacle of rampant rebel
on the floor Of Congress, clarifying Jefferson
Davis and assailing the memories of Lincoln
and Stanton, amid the loud applause OF other
Congressman, who were rebels like himself,
or, worse yet, rebel sympathizers, Is in itself
yndication Of the course of the Republican
minority, following Mr.. Blaine's lead, in re-
fusing to ratify the Randall amnesty PROPOSE
ton, and in insisting that such measure
shall be well considered in its terms.-Nep
Brunswick FredonSan.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

How TO BECOME A LAwYER.--A day or
two ago, when young man entered De-
troit lawyers Office to study law, the prac-
TONER sat down beside him and said !:
Now, see here, have no time to fool
away, and II you don't pan out well won't
keep you here thirty days. Do you want to
make good lawyers"
"Yes sir"
"Well, now, listen. Be polite to old peo-
pie, because they have cash. Be good to the
boys, because they are growing up to cash
basis. Work in with reporters and get puffs.
Go to church for the sake Of example. Don't
fool any time away on poetry, and don't
even look at a girl until you can plead case.
If you can follow these instructions you will
succeed. If you cannot, 90 and learn to be a
doctor and kin your best friends. "-Detroit
Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09
THE SEWERS or Paris AS SEEN BIZ a
LADx.

! had q chance to visit the sewers with .
party from the house. gladly awaited my
self OF it and walked with them down to the
Madelaine, where we disappeared through q
hole In the pavement, down spiral staircase,
at the foot Of which we found nobly arched
vault, through which a canal Of dark water
was running rapidly, with good foot pave
visitors, and we were all slowed away in
boats in the most systematic and comfortable
manner for ride ON this canal. There was
not the least impurity in the air, for the Seine
is turned into the sewers above the city and
let out again into itself miles below, and the
current is rapid. Our boats were elegantly
lighted with kerosene lamps with ground glass
globes, and the seats covered with clean sail
cloth. Think of the authorities of Paris pro-
viding such an entertainment under ground
for her visitors. AS each little boat received
its complement of eighteen persons, eight men
in the inevitable blue blouse, four on each
side, took hold Of our ropes and tramped of
with us down the Place de Ia Madelaine, down
the Rue Royale, through the Place de la Con-
corde to some point in the Rue de Rivoli.
Our course was indicated by the same little
squares Of blue with letter in white, that
mark all the streets of Paris above ground.
The vault is at least twelve feet high, and as
wide as narrow street. The masonry is only
excelled by that of the Cloaca Maxima at
Rome. Large iron pipes were running along
on one side on brackets above us, which, upon
inquiry, I found were the city water pipes.
At some point on the Rue de Rivoli we were
transferred from the boats to beautiful open
cars, lighted as the boats were, and four men,
two in front, and two behind, carried US along
a tramway, through q narrow part of our
road, still over water, and still down the Rue
de Rivoli got out of my bearings when
saw the sluiceways in the side walls marked
Rue de Roule, Rue de Ia Vendierc, etc. but
soon we made scientific turn on a railway
pivot, and our course was marked Boulevard
de Sabastopol. The poor fellows who ran the
cars-for they did run them--were very warm
and good deal out of BREATH but they kept
at it until we emerged into full daylight, as
suddenly as when we popped out Of the salt
mines at Hallein, and where do you think We
were? BY the Tour de st. jacques We
were ushered up staircase into the street
without even an opportunity to fee the men
who had worked so hard for us.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09
ISRAEL,S LAMENT.

The following lines are not generally known, and
they noble to be lost the partial oblivion in
which their obscurty has placed them They writ
ten by Byron and inscribed upon the Gate Of the
Jewish Cemetery at Glasgow, Scotland:
Oh weep for those that weep by Bahel's stream.
Whose shrines desolate, whose lands dream;
Weep for the harp of Judas broken she'll;
Mourn where their God hath dwelt. the Goddess dwell
And where shall Israel lave their bleeding feet
And when shall lions song again seem sweeti
And Judah's melody more rejoice
The hearts that leap'd before its heavenly voice.
Tribes Of the wandering foot and weary breast,
How shall We flee away and be at rest
The wild dove hath her nest. the fox his cave,
Mankind their country, Israel but the grave.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

THE PuLsE.--Every person should know
how to ascertain the state of the pulse in
health then, by comparing 1t with what it
is when ailing, he may have some idea of the
urgency Of his case. Parents should know
the healthy pulse Of each child, and now and
then person is born with q peculiarly slow
or fast pulse, and the very case in hand may
be that of popularity. An infants pulse is
40 = child of seven about 80 and from
twenty to sixty years it is seventy beats a
minute, declining at 80 at fourscore.
healtlfuI grown person beats 70 times in q
minute here may be good health at 60, but
if the pulse always exceeds 70 there is a dis
ease tho machine is working tself ont; there
is fever of inflammation somewhere, and
the body is feeding on itself, as in consump-
ton, when the pulse is quick-that is, over 20
--gradually increasing with decreased chanc-
es Of cure, until it reaches ITO or 100, when
death comes before many days. When the
pulse is over 70 for months and there is q
slight cough, the lungs are affected. The
pulse decreases when recumbent position Is
assumed for any length of time, and is increas-
oil by exercise, stimulants and the presence Of
BOD in the stomach.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

A BRIaHT LITTLE GIRL.--Here Is pretty
good one of little, bright eyed, four-year-old
girl, related to me by the uncle himself:
Katy was riding with her uncle, on the road
from 0tisfeld to Casco, in Maine, when they
espied by the way side small pond of gold
fish. The rays of the sun SO slanted upon the
crimson scales of the fish as to give them
surprising glow.
20. uncle just look What pretty
thingsl"
Her uncle asscnted, but did not stop.
30, uncle, do stop the horse. want to
sec 'em."
"Not now, Katy. haven't got time"
And he drove on.
Katy reflected moment, and then surrep-
titiously threw her little red cape out by the
roadside.
20, Uncle Phil, my cape's outi Let me
go and get it :"
or course Uncle Phil. pulled up, and as he
did not dare to leave the child with the horse,
he allowed her to get ont and run back after
her cape. He waited long time, and finally
bent his head out from the chaise to see what
had become of the midget, when, 10 and be-
hold, there she stood, by the side of the little
pond, with the cape over her arm, drinking in
the beauties of the gold fish to her hearts
content.
Her uncle understood the trick in mo-
ment, but he had not the heart il he had the
wish, to scold her.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

LIFE LENaTHENED.-Dr. Hall in his ex-
cellent journal of Health, gives the following
sensible and suggestive rules under the above
heading
1. Cultivate an equal temper many have
fallen dead in flt of passion.
2. Eat regularly, not over thrice day, and
nothing between meals.
8. Go to bed at regular hours get up as
soon as you wake Of yourself, and do not sleep
in the day time-at least not longer than ten
minutes before noon.
4. Work always by the day, and not by the
job.
s. Stop working before you are very much
tired--before you arc Tagged out"
8. Cultivate generous and accommodating
temper.
Z. Never cross a bridge before you come to
it this will save you half the troubles Of
life.
8. Never eat when you are not hungry, nor
drink when you are not thirsty.
0. Let your appetite always come uninvit-
ed.
10. Cool of in place greatly warmer than
the one in which you have been exercising
This simple rule would prevent incalcuable
sickness and save millions of lives every year.
IL. Never resist call Of nature for sim
gle moment
10. Never allow yourself to be chilled
through and through !; it is this which de-
stroys SO many every year, in few days
sickness, from pneumonia--called by some
lung fever--or inflammation OF the lungs.
IS. Whoever drinks no liquids at meals will
add years of pleasurable existence to his life.
OF cold or warm drinks the former Is the most
pernicious Drinking at meals induces persons
to eat more than they otherwise would, as
any one can verify by experiment and it is
an excess Of eating which devastates the land
with sickness, suffering and DEATH
IA. After fifty years Of age, II not day la
borer, and sedentary persons at forty, should
eat but twice day--in the morning and
about four in the afternoon for every organ
without adequate rest will "givc out" pre-
maturely.
10. Begin early to be under the benign in
fiuence OF the Christian religion for it " has
the promise of the life that now Is and OF
that which is to come"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09


It happened the other day on the Lchigll
Valley Railroad The train had just left Ea~-
ton, and the conductor was making his first
round, when he observed small white dog,
with bushy tail and bright black eyes, sit
ting costly on the seat beside Young lady 50
handsome that II made his lleatt roll over like
lop-sided pumpkin But duty was duty.
and he remarked in his deprecasory manner
I'm very sorry, madam but its against
the rules to have dogs n the passenger cars !"
Oh my is that so !? z aud she turned up
two lovely brown eyes at him beseechingly.
" What IN the world Will do can't throw
him away. He's Christmas present from
my aunt.
BY no means, Miss. Well put him in
baggage car and hc'll be just as happy as q
robin IN Spring
What put my nice white dog in nasty,
atuffy, dusty baggage car
I'm awfuiiy sorry, Miss, do assure you,
but the rules of this company are as infexible
as the laws Of the Medes and them other fel-
lows, you know. de sail have my overcoat to
lie on, and the brakeman shall give him grub
and water every time he opens his mouth"
just think it's awful mean, SO do and
know somebody, will steal 1t, so they
will, and she showed a half notion to
cry that nearly broke the conductors heart
but he was firm, and sang out to the brake
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

eyes, SIR" said gentlemanly-looking
man, on Washington street. on Saturday,
"tho panic win have to come; no preventing
it. You see that ran just going away p
Well he has a bill against me, and he says IT
will pay him that he can pay some one else.
or in other words, that il each man will pay
what he owes, tho others can pay, and that
thus, under the rules OF political economy.
the thing will travel around in a circle. But
he didn't calculate that the thing must have =
bottom or the circle break. You see owe
him, but the trouble is that nobody owes me,
and that breaks the circle, and the broken
circle makes panic. lam the starter" And
h. took peanut and departed.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09
EXPLAINING THE FINANCES.

Jake and Pete were met by Dan, sort of
negro sharper, at the Capitol building yester-
day, when general conversation took place
about the hard times.
" Dar now" said Peto, holding up a half
dollar note, =" dar is fifty cents, and dat fifty
cents didn't git near huff fur me to reach him
onti I'd put in half OBJ good squar days
work ~
F" OATS de fact OBJ de dismandizment oh de
finanshil condition oh de country" said Dan,
wisely.
" How's dat ?" asked Jake " what's de
financial condition got ter do wild nigger's
work Tell me dat -
/" It's de con-trackshun oh de money ques-
tion, We see ! 'Sposen we jis redooses de mat
ter down to de argymnt !" urged Dan.
Lemme hear yer arguy dat pint" said
Jake, earnestly attentive.
Well, now, dar is fifty cents in Pete's
hands, yer see y
Yes % said both the listners.
Den Pete lends dat to me dis way, yer
see ?" taking the note.
Vas ~ they answered.
NOW puts IL down III my Hank Dat way,
yer see I" pocketing the money.
Vas F." said Jake. Pete is silent.
Next, Pete wants his money back in his
OWE hand, yer see, an does't gbit to him"
Whar's de reason yer DON'T" demanded
Pete.
"'Kase de finances am con-trackted by de
proceedin operashun, yer see +" explained
Dan.
"Well, den, how does git my money back
agin ?" persisted Pete.
Oars whar de argymint comes in ! :" re-
piled Dan, as he began to circulate +" around
the corner in a suspiciously lively way. A
few minutes after he told the police it was on
ly joke, but Pete now has the heel of tho
" argymint."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

oHs HIDE THY FACE.

oh hide thy face from all my sins, good Lord
cannot answer for them, not one,
But mntely stand before thy righteous throne.
And dare not ask Thee justice to award:
Grace-grace through Christ-unmerted BY me,
This this crave, most Merciful! from Thee
These many years fitful course I've trod,
Running OF halting leaping or cropping on
Yet all the hours, they have come and gone,
Have brought some blessing from thy hand, my God
But have made such recompense of ILL.,
Ashamed am to look up TO thy face;
So weeping DER my sins, yet hoping still
/ hide my erring soul beneath thy robe OF grace.
Thomas MacKellar.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

OF the one hundred and seventy-eight Con-
gregational clergymen who died last year,
eight were over eighty years old, and only six
under forty. The average age was over sixty
four years.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

Nor IN THE FAMILY.-An old Detroiter
brought home two jugs the other day, one la
beled q boiled oil " the other turpentine. !"
They were placed in the barn, and pretty soon
it was noticed that the old man had business
there at regular intervals. His Oldest son
slyly followed him and saw him taking deep
draught from one Of the jugs. The old man
heard step outside, and before going out he
arranged those jugs according to his artistic
taste. He was hardly gone when the son
skipped in and took drink from the jug out
of which he supposed his father drank. The
next moment he was suffering, coughing
and gasping, and the old man entered and
asked
.Turpentine doesn't agree with you, does
it?"
= But saw you drink it ~ exclaimed the
injured and indignant son.
!" That is true" said the old man, while a
beautiful smile played over his face, but II
doesn't necessarily follow that the rest Of the
family must relish turpentine because I do =
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-02-09

Cash on delivery Is the custom adopted by
popular lecturers
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-10-09

Jan. a. 1875, inclusive upon vouchers duly certified
by the speaker Of the house of representatives,
der authority Of the resolution adopted March ~,
c. E. Lrrp1Scorr, Auditor OF Public Accounts.
1t will be seen from this plain official
statement, therefore, that Shepard was
legally and slegitimatelv. entitled to the
sum of 81, ga, actual pay for and during
the existence of the two sessions of the
general. assembly. but that, by the GER
LITIGATION of Shelby Nj. Cullom. Shepard
received the further sum of $3.l3S for
services which neither Shepard nor any
one for him performed to the amount of a
dollar!
When these facts became generally
known to the prominent Republican men,
bers Of 1.-THE general assembly, a private
consultation was held at the Office of the
secretary of the state, to take faction con-
corning the affair. Meantime the oppo-
sition members of the house, who had be-
come advised of the facts, at once incor-
porated them in protest prepared to
offset like protest put on file by the
Republican minority against the action Of
the majority.
The conclave of the Republicans for
mally resolved that the best interests OF
the party demanded that the state central
committee should at once dispense with
the services of Mr.. Shepard as their secre-
tary, while no action whatever is known to
have been taken touching the real criminal,
| Ccllom. The state central committee
however, we're too sagacious too dismiss
Mr.. Shepard, who, were he to be seized
with desire. could unfold such tale a:
would inevitably work disaster to the party
in Illinois. 1t was in vain that these
stories of Cullom's official crookednes:
were circu. ated to affect his chances fol
nomination by the state convention, anC
it was likwise in vain that the history o.
Shepard's scoundrelisms was repeated
everywhere and oft. The first was en-
Enthusiastically nominated for governor, anC
the last was unanimously chosen to sue
coed himself as secretary of the Republi
c.n state central committee, in which vo
cation he is now engaged in preparing thu
way for fresh fields with new sources OF in
come, and pastures new to furnish nutri
ment for the political kleptomanic.
A REPUBLICAN.