The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-08-24
THE MAILS.
WRITTEN ron THE PULASKI CITIZEN.

the duties of the Office on the lst of
July, IS. Yes, I was sworn in
to the Office, and for fear one oath
would not answer the purpose. I
swore in the Office every day for a
year; at the end of which time
became so profane that swore my
self out of office without any diff
Guilty. 1 shall not forget that first
day experience. 1t was as hot as
an attic sleeping-room, and the office
about as large.
Mails were in from Slangville
Talk Town, Blow-on Valley, Lip
Creek, Gap Hill, Buzzin Flats,
Crackfeld, and Shouting Hollow.
Mails were in from the East, West
North and South.
Way mails, side mails, catch mails
and through mails, all thrown at
you like bundles of wheat when you
can't move them away half as fast
as they are thrown. I stood in the
midst of that mountain of mail mat
ter so hopeless and dumbfounded I
didn't know what the matter was.
l was as weak and timber as the
limPiest bag in the pile. 1 actually
did not know myself from the sides
of sole leather that lay around me.
In ten minutes the mails went
East and West; in fourteen they
went North and South, and already
a half-dozen sorrel whiskered, rae
coon-capped stage drivers we're
shouting-'Mails! Hurry up there!
Confounded slow this morningp
And 1 heard one shimbly-shambly,
grass-fed mule director say to an
other:
Il guess the new deputy is a bet
ter hand at sorting out taters than
he is at letters"
l knew 1 wasn't much of a sorter
that day, nor much of fighter any
day, but 1 did sorter want to get at
that miserable skinful Of revile-
ment, and just show him my prof.
cheney as distributing clerk, but l
was otherwise engaged.
Frantically 1 seized the mail key,
and the first thing attempted to
DO with it was to wind the clock.
Finally 1 succeeded in getting the
mail bags open and all emptied into
huge box in the centIe of the of
fee. As near as could guess, there
must have been about fourteen
bushels of unassorted mail matter
If it had been fourteen bushels oi
beans to be hand-picked, the task
would not have seemed more for
midable.
Slangville letters went to the
right, Talk Town letters went to the
left, Blow-on Valley went over the
right shoulder, Lip Creek over the
left. Gap Hill went directly over
head, and Shouting Hollow between
the knees; the space directly in
front being reserved for Bottleford
was a little particular at first
not to make any mistake, but the
grumbling ofthose waiting for theil
letters warned me that my time was
up. So 1 just threw them around
like dealing whist, gave each fail
| proportion, reserving the biggest
pile for Bottleford. Then l stuffed
the mail bags. and jerked them oui
of the door, and the hurry and i'm
patience of those miserable drivers
vanished as soon as they got pos
session of them. One, the noisies
of the lot, the one who made tn,
undignified and tatered comparison
as a sorter, actually hung arount
for half an hour, staring in at M
through the window, and laughing
+ at my perplexities. He said be wa
going to have me reported at head
quarters.
i 1 made up my mind if l ever go
a chance 1 would report at his hea'
, quarters.
The stage-drivers disposed of,
more formidable and impossibl
/ task presented itself.
| Three hundred and Gfty lette
boxes to be hunted up, each wit
!. its owners name in fine hand writ
ing on the upper margin. My bos
the p NJ, told me must find theI
!, out myself, then / would always r'
f member where they were.
He was a man who had far MOI
L confidence in his judgment than
l. had in my memory. 1 reeolle,
L (and very surprising it is that dc
# when 1 was first put upon the mu
# tiplication table-the solid squal
h table, as constructed in the days
d Daball and Willet-I remember no
s. dim, how unintelligibly its twel7
Ie ranks of figures looked, beginnir
Is with l and ending with IA.
le Just so that paralellogram of he
n low squares looked at me at tn
,e moment. It seemed that each i
Rs tlvidual owner was gazing wi
e thirsty eyes upon his numb'
and unless he received a letter
would go for the deputy. In a
r Of desperation 1 seized a lar
package of letters. Alonzo PluI
V mer was the first name Whe
ne was Alonzo Plummer's box2 1T
ad name had been written on it in L
as ters as large as a horseshoe, 1 cou
y not have seen it. ] slammed it in
he the nearest box. I did so with