Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-11-25

Friend Zittle-Of course, this letter
is on politics. say this at the start so
as to secure readers, for there is no 9TH
er earthly subject that will NOW attract
a moments attention. The Turks have
a proverb saying that "God hangs great
weights OH slender wires" and never
was saying more thoroughly verified
than the above at the present time. The
fate of this great nation now hangs on
the vote of few obscure election dis
tricts among the swamps of Florida and
Louisiana. and what formidable war
of four years duration failed to do may
be accomplished by a greasy piece of
paper from the fingers OF plantation
negro, or an equally illiterate Caucas-
ian.
Our town is now quiet, but it is the
calm of exhaustion, not that of peace.
We are in the condition of the phleg-
matte newsboy, who, when asked why
he did not cry out his papers said he
had "penty of news but nothing to hol-
Ter" We all have news but we do not
yet know which side is to "holler."
| will take advantage, then, of the
lull, to make few suggestions for the
guidance of the Legislators, and for the
/ benefit of the people at large. 1t strikes
Inc that can, with ore stone, bring
down the two birds of fiscal prosperity
to the State exchequer and augmented
serenity to the minds of timid and re-
firing people-two consummations very
much needed at present. My plan Is to
tax blatant politicians, and oblige every
man who desires to talk constitution
to take out a license for the privilege.
! can see no reason why ministers of the
Gospel should be taxed (as believe
they are) for the right to show me the
way to Heaven, and blatherskite poll.
tician should be allowed to make me
swear to the detriment of my soul, with
out mulcting him for the luxury to HIM
SELF and the harm and nuisance to ME.
Why am / to be button-holed in halt an
hour after the closing of the polls, on
election evening, to hear how Buncumb
county, North Carolina, gave Tilden a
majority of three hundred and seventy
one, or how Baldendash county, Arkan-
sas went for Hayes by two hundred and
three, and why am l obliged to pretend
acquiescence or risk getting the reputa-
ton of q tool, while my souls enemy
contributes nothing to church or State
for the loss OF citizen to Heaven, or a
citizens time to the community! |
would then fix tariff somewhat like
the following:
For man of sense - Nothing per An.
For prejudiced man $40
For a credulouS man SIS "
For fool $40
For a d-n fool Something A.
mounting to virtual prohibition.
There is but one objection to my
schere-the danger that SO many would
be classed under the last head that the
State would lose by their Inability to
pay the high tariff: Certainly If were
the assessor would prefer fixed sala-
ny to per eentage on receipts
l will give you few samples where.
by to judge in this case, Every five
minutes, last week, was asked for
news. Having nothing reliable to tell,
l invariably said so. My supposed reti-
cence soon brought suspicion on me,
and many believe that am in league
with Kellogg and Chamberlain or, per.
haps, with John Morrissey or Tamma-
ny. To allay suspicion l telegraphed
for news, and on Sunday morning | re-
ceived from the most reliable source the
assurance that Vermont and Texas had
gone for Peter Cooper. Will you be-
lieve that neither of the two great par
ties would credit the telegram, although
the Democrats could readily believe that
Pennsylvania had voted for Tilden, and
the Republicans at one time had hopes
of reducing the Democratic majority in
New York City. am now resolved
to do no more telegraphing.
For the following am not response
BILE, tell it as 1 got it: Two Demo
crats-both wool-dyed-met at Harper's
Ferry on election day. One is a very
intelligent man, but the boyhood of the
other ante dates Free Schools. Greatly
to the astonishment Of the man of let
tiers, his friend held forth eloquently on
the benefits OF Negro Suffrage, his
words and gestures being equally en-
phatic. Having listened some time in
dumb amazement to this astounding
heresy, the man of parts ventured to
ask for an explanation. With equal as
constituent the orator asked, "What are
they but niggers Don't You believe
they ought to suffer ?'-and he was no
Irshman either. .l
u.. QUIRK.
Harper's Ferry, Nov. Is, 1876.