Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-09-23

saws the Daily Nut SHe1t, - ID CAIRO or
Neu Jersey. The other day when q
IT, rheel. with sunken eyes and high
cheek homes. sat down on the steps of a
grocerv beside several others, he sighed
heavily and asked:
"Gentlemen, if any of you found
FIVE on the sidewalk. would you hunt
for the owner?' :,
eT would :" come from each individual
with promptness and dispatch.
Haven't any of you lost five, have
you?" anxiously continued the man.
II have" answered one, and the echo
went all along the line.
describe her, gentleman, remarked
the man.
One said his had figure Give on
it. Another said his had a picture OF
DE Soto discovering the mouth Of the
Mississippi River" \ third said the
words II s." were plein to- be seen On
the bill that fell out of his vest pocket.
"Gentlemen. this five don't tally,
mournfully remarked the iarheei.
None of YOU have hit the description
within mile aud q sandbar."
Lets see,' asked two or three at tie
same time.
cts a five, and l found it on the
sidewalk" he whispered, holding out
his hand.
The five was nickel. Some of the
crowd leaned back and held their hands
on their outraged hearts, while others
rose up, carefully brushed their coat
tails, and said it was time to 60 home.
One of the victims seemed to appreciate
the situation. He chuckled and gasped.
and asked the stranger what he would
take.
"Whisky straight" was the prompt
reply of the man.
$50 would I, if I ever drank" said
the citizen and he lounged down town
to get up bet on the weather.
A PR1NrER's DREAM.-A printer sat in
his chair, his boots were patched and
his coat threadbare; while his face look
ed weary and worn with care. While
sadly thinking of business debt, old
Morpheus slowly round him crept, and
before he knew it he soundly slept; and
sleeping, he dreamed that he was dead,
from trouble and toll his spirit had fled,
and that not even cow-bell tolled for
the peaceful rest of his cow.hide sole,
As he wandered among the shades that
smoke and scorch in lower Hades, he
shortly observed an iron door, that
creakingly hung on the hinges ajar,
but the entrance was closed with q red
hot bar, and Satan himself stood peep
ing ont, and watching for travellers
thereabout, and thus to the passing
printer spoke: "Come in, my dear, it
shall cost you nothing, and never fear;
this is the place where cook the ones
who never pay their subsc'i 'tion sums,
for though in their life they may escape
they will find when they are dead it is
too late; will show the place where l
melt them thin, with red hot chains and
scraps of tin, and also where l comb
their heads with scraps of glas, and
melted lead and if of refreshment they
only think, there's boiling water for
them to drink; there is the red hot
grindstone to grind down the nose, and
red hot rings to wear on the toes, and
if they mention they don't like the fire,
I'll sew up their mouths with red hot
wire; and then, dear sir, you should see
them squirm, while I roll them over
and cook to turn" With these last
words the printer awoke, and thought
it all practical joke, but still at times
so real did it seem, that he cannot be-
lieve it was all dream; and often he
thinks with chuckle and grin, of the
fate of those who save their tin, and
never pay the printer.
s@M. Renan writes: "You asked
me, Outside of nature and of man is
1Nla,,o l..