davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

A blacksmith was once summon
to a county court as a witness in
dispute between two Of his work
men. The judge, after hearing the
testimony, asked him why he did
notsadyise them to settle. as the cost
had already amounted to three times
the disputed sum. He said, I told
the fools to settle; for l said the
clerk would take their coats, the law
yers their shirts, and if they got iato
your honors court you'd skin EN-.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

1t is the custom in Iceland for a
mans mother-in-iaw to work out
and support his family, and in that
country no newspaper ever iings
any slur at that estimable old lady.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

The pencil marks yoa SEQ around this
paragraph (thus) mean thai your sab
seription Is cut or anpaid, and thai ron
are requested to pay up at once. we
wesiid take great pleasure IN extending
credit 70 our friends and patrons. bus
cash alone viii Yay our expense, ard
we are forced to adhere TO a strict cash
rule. We hope you win comprehend
and appreciate the necessity Of such
course, and renew your subscription
without delay We solicit vour favor.
s& We enter no new Hames ON onr
hooks wishouI the nonss In aaxanea.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

A majority Of the murderers who
are hanged nowadays believe that
after the drop the next act in the
drama viii represent them sitting
on the illuminated edge of a thun-
der cloud, singing hallelujah.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

The Elmira Advertiser says a
doctor in that place removed a tape
worm "from a Lad that was ninety
six feet long and had over eleven
hundred joints" Well, a boy as
long as shat ought to have eleven
hundred joints.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

a man in DEBORAH, Iowa. got
some whiskey at a drug store, and
while under its benign influence
had his hands SO badly frozen that
they had 70 be amputate5 Then
his wife sued the druggist for dam
ages, and recovered $1,000. which
was probably twice as much as she
expected to get. And ever since
then, whenever a man around there
starts down town. his wife follows
him 70 the front door and tendeTly
says. sJeems, it look zift was swine
TO be mnnsus cold On terWards tie
shank O. the evenin', and IS eouH
naturally be tol'rable tired agin that
time, II I vas you I'd cum by the
dreg store and hist IN nsce warn
drink O. good sperits and fetch
drap or two home with you, whica
you'd better drink It ALI, though, IS
you cum along yourself Courier
Jc.gAal.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

Old Mrs. McGrinniss was going
TO give Paddy McGrath a sealding
yesterday, because Paddy told her,
"Whin the divil sees We coomin'
he'll shoot up the gates an shout,
.All full, Mrs. McGrinnis. Ye can
stand outside an fraze..
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

Frank Beard, the artist, while at
dinner recently, was told of man
in Nassau street with three hands.
''How is that?" asked Beard. "He's
got a little behind hand" was the
reply. You are a more extraordi-
nary man." was the reply, "for you
have two heads; you have a head of
your own, and you've got ahead of
me-
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13
Ant it pretty?'' said Mrs. H

can't it prettyY' said Mrs. H
holding up her new bonnet. "There
is some charming ideas in that, can
tell YOU "Glad Of it, said John.
"It's just as we'll to have ideas
somewhere about your head, you
know" and he paused to catch a
hair brush on the fly.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13
She Knew why it was.

One Of our citizens is blessed Tor
otherwise, says the New York Eve
ming Post, with a very stubborn
wife. In his case he finds that
when a woman viii, she win, you
may depend ont, and when she
won't she won't, and that's an end
ont. This popularity of disposi
ton in his wife is no secret among
his associates, and one of them
meeting him the other day, asked !:
sW-, do you know why you
are like a donkey?"
Like a donkeys echoed W
opening his eyes wide. ''No, I
don't"
DO you give it up?9
81 do"
because your betterhalf is stub
bornness itself"
"That's not bad. Ha! ha! III
give that to my wife when I get
home"
sMrs. he asked, as
she sat down to supper, sdo you
know why am like a Donkey"
He waited a moment expecting
his wife to give it up. But she
didn't. She looked at him some
what eommiseratingly as she an
swered;
q suppose because you were
born So"
A Kearny man started with a
team to the Black Hills, and the
Indians wanted to interview him on
the way. He whipped up his team,
but the redskins gained on him.
He threw out his load, but they
came still nearer. He finally tum-
bled off the bed, drew the king bolt
and rode the forewheels safely into
Custar City, at the rates of twenty
miles an hour.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

The wives of India no longer
burn themselves to death when a
husband dies. Christianity has
taught them that it is better to set
tie up the estate and 60 for another
man.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

"Eliza,' said a clergyman to one
of his parishioners, whom he saw
with her hair in curling papers, ''if
God had designed your hair to curl,
He would have curled it for you"
"He did, sir, when I was a child, ?"
was tue reply; but He thinks now
am old enough to do it myself"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

A gentleman in Boston, who takes
a business view Of most things,
when recently asked respecting a
person of quite a poetic tempera-
ment, replied: "Oh, he is one of
those men who have soarings after
the infinite, and dives after the un-
fathomable, but who never pay
cash -
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

An old farmer said to his sons,
''Boys, don't you ever spekerlate,
or wait for something to turn up
You might just as well 60 and sit
dowa on a stone in the middle of a
medder with a pail twixt your legs,
and wait for a COW to back up to
you to be milked."
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

The other day a Boston belle
rushed excitedly into the house Of
a friend to exhibit $I75 silk dress
she had just purchased, and Incl
dentally mentioned just before
departure that her father had
failed the day previous and shut up
his store.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

Here is a soliloquy of a Partisan
inebriate, addressed to his hat,
which had fallen off It was over
heard one night on the Boulevards !;
"If I pick you up, fall; if l fall
you viii not pick me up-then I
leave you;" and he staggered proud
" sway.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

The pope viii be = contributor TO
the centennial Perhaps he viii
send a buii.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

The waters at Memphis, are high
er by half an inch than the food Of
1874 and eleven inches above that
Of last August. River men believe
that the rise viii go higher than
any ever before known.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-04-13

-
person of quite a poetic tempera-
ment, replied: ooh, he is one of
those men who have soarings after
the infinite, and dives after the un-
fathomable, but who never pay
cash"
An old farmer said to his sons,
''Boys, don't you ever spekerlate,
or wait for something to turn up
You might just as well go and sit
dow2 on a stone in the middle of a
medder with a pail twixt your legs,
and wait for a COW to back up to
you to be milked."
Here is a soliloquy of Partisan
inebriate, addressed to his hat,
which had fallen of. It was over
heard one night on the Boulevards:
"If pick you up, 1 fall; if l fall
you viii not pick me up-then I
leave you" and he staggered proud
ly sway.
The other day a Boston belle
rushed excitedly into the house Of
a friend to exhibit a $I75 silk dress
she had just purchased, and Incl
dentally mentioned just before
departure that her father had
failed the day previous and shut up
his store.
"Eliza, said clergyman to one
of his parishioners, whom he saw
with her hair in curling papers, 'ff
God had designed your hair to curl,
He would have curIed it for you"
"He did, sir, when I was child"
was tue reply; but He thinks now
am old enough to do it myself"
--sS
can't it prettyY' said Mrs. H
holding up her new bonnet. ''There
is some charming ideas in that, I can
tell you. "Glad of it" said John.
ats just as we'll to have ideas
somewhere about your head, you
know" and he paused to catch a
hair brush on the fly.
! ss----
Old Mrs. McGrinniss was going
TO give Paddy McGrath a scalding
yesterday, because Paddy told her,
"Whin the divil sees ye coomin'
he'll shoot up the gates an shout,
All full Mrs. McGrinnis. Ye can
stand outside an fraze."
The Elmira Advertiser says a
doctor in that place removed a tape
worm "from a lad that was ninety
six feet long and had over eleven
hundred joints" Well. a boy as
long as shat ought to have eleven
hundred joints.
| A majority Of the murderers who
are hanged nowadays believe that
after the drop the next act in the
drama will represent them sitting
on the illuminated edge of a thun-
der cloud. singing hallelujah.
-ss~.
The wives of India no longer
/ burn themselves to death when a
husband dies. Christianity has
taught them that it is better TO set
tie up the estate and 60 for another
man.
The waters at Memphis, are high
er by half an inch than the food OF
1874 and eleven inches above that
Of last August. River men believe
that the rise viii go higher than
any ever before known.
The pope viii be = contributor tc
: the centennial Perhaps he vii
send a buil.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
THE LATE SPEAKER.

THE REMAINS OF Ex-SPEAKER kerr LYING IN
STATE AT THE COURT HOUSE, AT NEW AL
BANY-rHEIR REMOVAL LAST NIGHT TO THE
PRIVATE RESIDENCE.
NEW ALBANY, Ind, August "a, 1876.
From an early hour this morning until five O'Clock
In the afternoon constant stream OF people pass
Ing through tho corridors OF tho Court House where
tho remains Of tho lnto Speaker Kerr were lying in
state From the eyes Of many OF tho visitors silent
tears stole gently down their checks they
gazed upon the wasted form Of tho dead
statesman. Choice flowers were strewn in
profusion around tho coffin upon tho cataiu!quc A
magnificent wreath Of immortciles among the nors
decorations At eight o'clock tonight tho casket was
closed and placed in hearso and taken 10 the family
residence under tho escort Of committee from the
various civic societies oil the city. detail of Masons
and odd Fellows, of both of which organizations Mr.
Kerr an bonorcd member, formed guard of honor
to the remains and will them until tho hour
OF the funeral
The funeral which takes place tomorrow WILL 1t Is
expected be the largest known this section OF
country Every society tho CITY, with several others
which will move from the family residence at tour
O'Clock I. d.
Governor Hendricks. the State officers and a large
number OF citizens from various parts of the State will
arrive here tonight and Will remain until after tho
scqucs.
The City Hall, Court House and number Of private
residences drnpcd in mourning and ut nine o'clock
closed and remain until the PROCESSION has passed
out to tho cemetery.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
THE PRESIDENT AT THE EXHIBI-
TION.

PRESIDENT GRANT AND FAMILY AT THE GEN.
TENNIAL KxHIBIT1oN-NATIvE JERsEYMEN
AND GOVERNOR BEDLE.
PHILADELPHIA, August "a, 1915
President Grant, accompanied by Mrs. Grant, Mr..
and Miss Sharp U. S. Grant, Jr, and General Dent,
arrived here from Long Branch this morning, and
received by General Hawley and Director General
Goshorn The President spent several hours In Ma
chinery Hail. and, before leaving tho grounds, re-
coived the Chinese students In tho Judges Hall.
Governor Bedle, Of New Jersey, formally wei.
coined on hts arrival at the exhibition by Edward e.
knight and reception committee of native Jersey
men who are residents OF Philadelphia At noon
the Judges Hall crowded with a brilliant Assem-.
blage OF visitors from New Jersey and Hon Abrnm
Browning introduced by Governor Bedlo as the
orator OF the day. who had been appointed under tho
arrangement initiated by the Centennial Com ssiou
periodical addresses by orators the different
States descriptive OF tho history aud OF such
States
Mr.. Browning then very ably reviewed tho import
ant dev eopmcnts Of the carly anu recent history Of
New Jersey, giving full and interesting Statistics
showing the immense progress madc by that State IN
the last fifty years
At the conclusion Of Mr.. Browning's nddress tho
visitors headed by the First regiment band proceeded
10 the New Jersey building where grand reunion
held.
Tho paid admissions for to-day are estimated at
66,6l5.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
WASHINGTON.
The Four and a Half Per Cent
Loan Negotiated.
REDUCTION OF REVENUE OFFICERS.
Change OF Military Departments
at the South.
FROM OUR REGULAR CORRESPONDENT.

WASHINGTON, August "a, 1876
THE LEW LOAN NEGOTIATED AT LAsT-JoY OF
SECRETARY MoRRILI.-LIsr OF THE BIDS.
The long deliberations lasting eight days over tho
negotiations of the $500 600 900 four and halt per
cent loan were brought TO conclusion late this
inr. No happier man DO found In Washington than
the Secretary OF the Treasury, Lot NJ. Morrill,. Hc
appeared, at aa interview hnd with him tonight,
greatly pleased and even jubilant In his
manner aud words he indicated great satlsac-
ton that he has gotten through with "a tedious and
difficult job The representative bankers had in fact
seated themselves down upon him and their impend-
Ing determination 10 got part, not tho hons share
of tho loan, was illustrated in the pcrtinac,ty with
which they haunted the room OF the Secretary from
day to day. This became monolonous to them.
selves, and at times they gave way tho joviaty and
badnaGc of Wall street and the Gold Room Secretary
Morrill, while talking IL tonight IN his library
says that there is such thing in tho history of tho
country illustrative OF tho advancing credit OF its nan-
cial status and reliability. "This isl he adds, "a
really great accomplishment and marks another step
in tho wonderful Improvement OF the governments
credit" friend who stood by while the Secretary
speaking remarked joculary that tho siege through
which the Secretary had been had nothing equal to 1t
except Conference Committee, and lacked only the
presence OF Randall, Holman, and Cox give II tho
appearance OF inc ulICueS Win winch tnC secretary
had TO contend.
Forty millions have been negotiated to start with.
divided up below with tho privilege of the balance Of
$500 600 00o The terms par in gold and accrued
interest The allowance is provided bv law half
per commission less the cost Of preparation and
delivery of tho bonds
Rothschds, Sl6 O00 Seigman, $6.75O,0 600;
Drcxcl, S675o,0o0; First National, New York city,
81, COO 900; American Express sl.o50000 Merchants
National Bank New York city, 5000 oo0 Bank Of tho
State of New York, $500, 900; Third National, New
York, $750,0c0; Kuhn, Loeb Co., 81, 05O, 600; Nor
ton Rose & Co.. London, Sl,l 900; Morton. Bliss &
Co. H. H., GEO. by this transaction tho Secretary OF
the Treasury says quarter of tho interest paid by
the government will DO saved TIE bankers who have
boon bidding tor tho loan are equally we'll pleased
the Secretary He is very much exhausted tonight,
hut happy, notwithstanding the great had upon
HIM from the persistence and arguments OF the bid.
ders,
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
CONGRESSIONAL NOMINATIONS.

TOLEDO. August q, 1876.
The democrats OF tho Sixth Ohio dist riot to-day re.
nominated Hon. Frank H. hurd for Congress by acca.
nation.
MONTGOMERY. Ala. August 81, 1876.
II. T. Sidon, OF Macon county, Lieutenant Governor
~ Alabama, yesterday nominated for Congress by
tho democrats OF the Fifth district
ST. I.orIs, August 81, 1876 -
The democrats Of tho Twelfth Missouri district to- day
nominated John n. Glover for Congress-
PrrsBrRG. Pa. August 81, 1876
The democrats OF tho Twenty fifth Pennsylvania dis.
trict to-day unanimously nominated Hon. George A.
Jcnks for Congress.
WHEELING, w. Va, August ~, 1875
The democrats OF tho Second Virginia district to-day
nominated Hon. Is. +. Martin Tor Congress by acclama-
ton.
DETROIT, August "a 1916
Henry NJ. SufneId OF this city. today nom
mated for Congress by the republicans OF tho First dis
trict.
John IT, Kilbournc, Of Big Rapids, was nomi.
for Congress by tho democrats OF the Ninth dis
trict
DIS MONIES, Iowa, August ~, 1876
Tho Grccnbnck Convention Of tho seventh Con-
grcssionnl district today nominated Andrew Hasc, OF
Warren county, tor Congress.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
TEN :, ESSEE REPUBLICANS.

NASHVILLE, August "a, 1876.
The Republican State Convention met in this city to.
day. About 200 delegates were present
The Convention resolved to make nomination for
Governor
Ex-Governor Footc, Of Nashville, and A. II. Petit
bone, OF Grcenvc. chosen Presidential electors
for the State at largo.
Tho following district Presidential electors were
chosen Judge W. W. Goodpasturo for the Fourth,
Hon. W. T.. Prosser for the Fifth, A. NJ. Hughes for
the Seventh amt II. NJ. Hall for tho Ninth
The nominations for tho other districts were re-
ferrcd to the Congressional districts committee.
The resolutions rcafrm tho principles of the Gin
cnnai platform, and also the principles and policy OF
the republican party Of Tennessee proclaimed by
tho State Convention last May.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
ROME.
CONvOCATION

CONvOCATION OF CARDINALS - PROPOSED
CHANGES IN THE SYSTEM OF ELEcrINa
PoPEs-HEALTH OF CARDINAL ANToNELLI
LONDON August "a, 1876
A despatch to Reuters Telegram Company from
Rome says:-"A convocation of cardinals is now
sitting hero ascertain tho feasibility Of introducing
certain notifications In tho system Of ecctng Popcs
that the electors may full liberty when
becomes necessary elect to the present
Pope"
CARDINAL ANroNELLT
despatch TO the Daily Telegraph from Paris says
''News from Rome received here yesterday givos no
hopes OF Cardinal Antone!'s recovery.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
GONERNOR WALKER,
POPULARITY OF TEE Ex-aOvERNoR-u1s NoMI-
NATION FOR TIE THIRD CONGRESSIONAL DIS

POPULARITY OF TEE Ex-aOvERNOR--I1s NOMI-
NATION FOR TIE THIRD CONGRESSIONAL DIS
TRIcT
RICHMOND, Va, August 81, 1915
Governor G. G. Walker nominated to-day MS tho
conservative candidate for Congress- In this the Third
Congressional district. Tho nomination made by
full convention and by acclamation, which Is thor
ough Endorsement of Walkers course and marked in.
dication OF the Governors continued popularity
In speech accepting tho nomination no said that
the Confederate House, ns the republicans were In
tho habit of designating the House Of Representa-
had saved the country $50 00) in the appro
praions and that despite the cry Of radical politicians
'Gvo thieves before Confederate brlgadicrsn tho
people would approve OF the reform that had ac-
compshed and ndorsc II by the election OF TlGen
Hendricks, and increased majority in tho lower
branch Of the national Legislature.
Walkers nomination creates good deal OF cnthusi-
assn here and some of his most ardent admirers anci
pate for him Cabinet position the event of the cleo.
ton OF tho national democratic ticket on the ground
that he will be tho least Objectionable OF any Southern
politician, combining he docs. the dun character OF
Northern man ana Southern representative ia this
connection.
Judge John A. Meredith, OF this city who chair.
man of the ST. LOUIS Committee on Resolutions, is
spoken Of prospective Attorney General when Tiidcn
comes President These, however merely poliii.
cal speculations.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
MIDNIGHT WEATHER REPORT.
WAR DEPARTMENT,
OFFICE OF THE CHIEF SIGNAL OFFicER,
WASHINGTON. August 25-l A. IL.

OFFIcK OF THE CHIEF SIGNAL OFFICER,
WASHINGTON, August 25-l A. ii. J
Probabilities
During Friday in the South Atlantic Slater, high
barometer stationary TO rising temperature, southeast
to southwest winds and partly cloudy weather Wilt
prevail, with occasional rains.
In the Gull States. higher barometer nearly station
AIRY temperature, southery castcry wlds possibly
shifting 10 cooor northerly in tho northern portion Of
the West Gulf States, partly cloudy weather
sional thunder storms.
In Tennessee. the Ohio Valley and lower lake region
falling followed by rising barometer; warm southerly
winds, shifting TO cool norhwcsiery and northerly
partly cloudy weather and frequent local storms.
In the upper lake region and Upper Mississippi val.
ley, rising and high barometer, falling temperature,
northwest north winds ana generally clear weather.
succeeding local storm from Southern Missouri 10
Lower Michigan.
In the Lower Missouri valley, rising followed by fall
ing barometer cool northerly winds shifting
eastcrly or southcrly, and clear weather
In tho Middle States, falling followed by rising baron.
etcr, warm southeast southwest winds, veering to
cooler and NORTH partly cloudy weather and local
rains accompanying thunder storms
In New England falling followed by rising baron.
etcr southeast to southwest winds and incrcasa
ing cloudincss, possibly sucbcedcd by local rains
Cau,ionary signals continue along tho upper lakes.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
HOTEL ARRIVALS.

Baron Van Hccmskcrck, of Holland; Ex-Governor
John n. Goodwin, OF Arizona; cxlcongrcssman T.. O.
stnnard OF Missouri and General G. ". Sears OF Mis-
sissippi, arc at the Filth Avenue Hotel Lucius
Crookcr United States Vice Consul at Panama, Is nj
tho Windsor HOTEL Colonel John X Lewis United
States Army is at the Coleman House. Marcus 7. Hun.
of Albany is at the Hotel Brunswick. Captain JONES
b. Eads, OF ST. Louis, Is at the Metropolitan Hotel
state Senator A. J. wcman OF Friendship. N. Y, and
Judge Ran som Balloon, OF Binghamton. are at tho ST.
Nicholas Hotel Colonel Alexander Piper, United
states Army, is at tho stur,evant House. J. Baxter
upham, OF Boston, Is at the Everett House.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-08-25
DROWNING ACCIDENT.

Mr. John Jacob Zabrisk,c, the we'll known cotton
manu- acturcr, OF Hohokus, n. j., went homo IRON
New York yesterday afternoon After leaving the
derol no walked along the path by his mill pond
toward his house. Soon a,crward his hat and uui-
brea were found on tho bank. and II WAS evident he
had fallen into tho water. Search speedily made
and the body found IL had been In tho
water about an hour. 1t taken 10 his home. lie
probably seized with vertigo and slipped INTO the
pond confusion on his head shows that he struck
heavily IN falling. Mr. Iabrisgc was descendant
from Of the original Xabriskio settlers OF Bergen
county. He well known "a manufacturer of cot
ton yarn 1t Hohoxus, where he employed from Is to
100 operators lie brother Of Mariin and Christian
Znbriskic we'll known residents o. Bergen county,
New Jersey. Hc leaves wife, but NO children