Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1876-04-29
Five Husbands Ofthe Same Wife

Three gentlemen happened to meet at
breakfast at the Grand Pacific hotel one
morning last week They were strangers
TO each other. All were reading the
Tribune, when suddenly one broke the
silence with the remark; BY Jove She's
divorced again Noticing that his words
had attracted the attention of his COM
panions, he apologized and explained
that he was somewhat surprised to See
the divorce of his quondom wife chron-
icled in the legal intelligence. 'She and
| parted" he said, in dreamy, retro
spective manner, "in August, 1872, and
two months afterward she married up in
Peora, a fellow named Tompkius."
"Tompkins!" said the second gentleman
with a sudden interest "Tompkins Pc
oria, October 1S72-was her name The
odosia! Woman who had limped blue
eyes and always had a rolling pin under
her pillow on the nights the lodge metz"
"The same, stranger, the same? "Sbake
olG pard," said the first speaker "and
how was she?" "She was all my fancy
painted her." replied the second. "But
| had rival in stove-lifter for whom
she had too much affection, and in Jan
uary, 1875, the court in Lafayette, Ind.
dissolved the bonds between us, | be-
lieve she married again-some rooster
called Green, heard" 81 am the rooster
called Green, and am glad to make your
acquaintance. Gentlemen, | knew your
wife well for over year, and, barring
her vivacity with toas.ing forks and
long-handled frying pans, better wife
] never had. But we parted last Decem-
Der, as soon as / could get out OF the
doctors lhands with fracture of the
skull in conjunction with discussion
concerning getting up to light the fire
also boot jack and thought the fact
of our divorce had been previously an-
nounced." "But," said the first speaker,
''your name, my companion in divorce,
is Green; the last time she was divorced
it was from Brown" Brown? Browns"
said Mr.. Tompkins, rehectively "there
was one fellow named Brown used to
tag after her." It must be the same one
"Gentlemen," said the first speaker, re-
fectively, this is most remarkable CO.
incidence. When shall we three meet
again?" l don't usually drink after break
fast, but this is special occasion, and
we may, maynt we?' So they all went
to the bar-room together to drink sue
cess to Brown, and as they stepped up
to the bar they met man who said {;
"Gentlemen, this is my treat. I've just
been divorced, and my name is Brown,
ard I'm going to treat the house. Give
it name and call for the best in the
house." His three friends shook hands
with him solemnly, exchanging three
looks Of intelligence among themselves,
when weak-eyed young man walked in
diagonally and said: "See here, You fel-
lers have got to take bottle of wine
with me. I'm newly married man {;
bridegroom rejoicing to run race; have
something?" Aad so he wandered on
till to get rid of him, they agreed to so
up stairs to the ladies parlor and be
presented to his newly made bride.
They did so, and 10 and behold she was
their wife, The situation was sufficiently
embarrassing, but the woman didn't faint
but simply remarked: "Oh, Mr.. Green,
glad to meet you your face seems IA
miliar to me Mr. Tompkins! Somehow
the name seems familiar to me. MIR.
Brown, seem to recollect your face !;
any relation to the Browns of Lafayette,
Iud!" And so on. Truly truth is strang-
er than fction.-Chicago Tribune.