Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1876-02-18
The hardest kind Of chasm to get

over-sarcasm
He who would make name in life,
must have an aim in life.
Isn't it an aim without name
synonymous with an ominous anony-
nous?
Kansas keeps nobly in the van Of
civilization. Her State treasurer is
in jail.
The extreme height Of misery is a
small boy with new pair of rubber
boots and no mud or slush in reach
An English woman advertises her
self as corn-cutter to the royal family.
She practices on "the light fantastic
toe. .,.
People are angelic according to loca.
tion. The angels of heaven are all
men the angels of this world are all
women.
A newtown man favors the pres
ence Of the album in the public
schools. He writes US that "the ho-
ley book must be kept in the skools
at env COST"
A breed of dogs without tails has
been discovered in Africa, and how
the mi,chievous boys there utilize old
tin kettles and fruit cans, we cannot
pretend to say.
Men with property complain most
of poverty. The man unable to COL
lect rent thinks himself poorer than
he who cannot pay it.
Governor Tilden has signed the
bill recently passed by the New York
Legislature repeating the amend
tnent to the charter for the Grey Nun
institution.
The Congregational church of Hyde
park, Boston, has voted to decline
the invitation to participate in the
Plymouth church advisory council.
p. Il. Barnum has resolved to be q
travelling Snowman no longer, but
when it was announced that New
Haven had two legged horse, his
wife had to hide his hat.
The Sandwich Islands arc going
to adopt new flag, but they can't
decide whether to take a gray horse
blanket with hole in it, or an old
vest with the back ripped out.
A gentleman rode up to public
house in the country and asked
"Who is the master Of this house ?"
Il am, sir" replied the landlord ;
"my wife has been dead about three
weeks"
a Hartfrol man wants to sell q
farm in which "meandering streams
and rivulets permeate luxuriaht pas
ture, while maj estic oaks and stately
naples attract the eye of the be-
holder - Who lids?
Half Of the people who are making
this uproar over the exclusion of the
Bible from the public schools couldn't
tell on their own responsibility wheth-
er the book Of Genesis was written by
st. Panl or Hamlet.
Bismarck is baldheaded, but you
don't catch any German newspapers
saying that Mrs. Bisme rex is high
tempered woman, or making any
jokes about baldheads generally.
The baldheaded man in that country
is looked up to.
Why should the beehive be taken
as symbol of industry? Not bee
is to be seen all the winter long,
while the cockroach is up at FIVE
o'clock in the morning, and never
goes to bed till midnight. Lets
change this thing.
When a. boy has been off all day.
contrary to the expressed wish Of his
mother, and on approaching the home
stead at night, with an ANXIOUS and
cautious tread, finds company at tea.
the expression Of confidence and rec
titude which suddenly lights up his
face cannot be Reproduced on canvas,
"say, pop" said John Henry's
hopeful, the other day, wasn't it tho
prince of whales that swallowad Jo-
nah ?" And John pattod his head,
and gave him nickle, and told him
he might some day be an alderman :;
and then as he put on his slippers,
and found small chestnut-bur in
each toe. he took that boy over his
ilroo owl ,.rocI olol with h;u,