, 1876-05-13
lbsent-MInded sIrs. whistler.


The facts in Mrs Whistlrr's case seem TO
have been these: Mrs. Whistler has singular
absence Of mind, and on the las, Sunday that
she attended her own church DR.. Buuderby
began TO read from the scriptures the account
of the deluge. Mrs Whistler was deeply
attentive, aud when the Doctor csme to the
story of how it rsined for 50 many days and
nights. she was 20 much absorbed ia tbs
narrative and 80 strongly impressed with It
that she invoiuntarilry put up her umbrella
aud held j, ovry bead a. she saG in the pew.
/ Il appears that Mrs Moody. who sits in the
next pew in fscat, frequently brings her lap
| dog TO church with her, and when Mrs.
! Whistler raised her umbrella suddenly, the ao-
.iou affected the sensibilities Of Mrs. Moody's
dog in such a manner that he began to bark
furiously- Oi course, the sexton came in for
! the purpose of removing the animal, but it
lodged into vacant pew upon the other
side of the aisle and deEed him, barking vO-
ciferJusly all the time Then the sexton be-
came warm and Indignant, and he flung q
hymn book at he dog, Whercat the dog few
out and blt his lrg. The excitement in the
church by this time, Of cours,. was simply
dreadful. Not only was the story OF the deli
ngs interrupted, but the uuresenerate Sun
d-y-school scholars in the gallery actually
hissed the dog at the seXton and seemed 10
enjoy the contest exceedingly Then Elder
McGiun came after the dog with his cane,
and as be pursued the animal it dashed to-
ward the pulpit and rau up the steps in such
fierce manner that the doctor qGickly
mounted chair and remarked, with anger
flashing through his Spectacles, tha: if this
disgracrful scene did not soon come to au end
he shonld dismiss the congregation. Then
the Elder erept softly up the stairs. and after
short struggle succeeded IN grssping the
dog by one of hind legs. Then he walked
down the aisle with it, the dog meantime
yelling with supernatural energy, and the
Sunday school boys making fAceiiOns remarks.
Mrs. Whistler turned rUund, with other
members of the congregation, to watch the
retreating elder. and as be did 80 she nncon-
-ciously permitted her umbrella to drop over
80 that the end % one Of the ribs caught Mrs.
Moody's boGpet. \ moment later, when she
was Strengthening mp the umbrella, the bon
net Was wrcnchrd off end hung dangling
! from the umbrella. Mrs. Moody had become
exceedingly Warm, at any rate, over the on
! slanght made upon her dog, but when Mrs.
| Whistler removed her bonnet she fairly boiled
over, and, turning around, white with rage,
she screamed What'd you grab that bou-
net for, you catamount2 Haven't you made
enough fuss in this sanctuary to-day, skeer-
ing poor, innOcen. dog, without snatehing
Oft such bCEu, Is as the likes Of you can't af-
ind 10 wear, 10 matter how mean you live
at hc,ue, you red-headed lunatic, you You
let NY bonnet alone, or III warm you with
this parasoi, If il is IL meeting, now mind
mel" Then Mrs Whistler first seemed
10 realize that her umbrella made her con-
spicuous, go she furled it and concluded to
escape from embarrassing position by go
ing home And ss she stepped into the aisle
her enemy gave her a parting salute:
" SneakiDg of brfore collection. tool You'd
better spend les for breastpins and give more
to the poor heather if you don want to ke,ch
it heIeaiter :" Then she began TO fan her
self furioualy, a, Mrs. Whistler emerged
from the front door and things became calm
er, the doctor resumed the story Of the food.
Bat Mi-. Wbi-'l~r ba- given up her pew and
gone over to h Pr -hyierians, and there ara
rurnors that Mrs Moody i going TO Sc seds
also, b4cause Elder Masinn insis's that she
should leave her dogs at -IhZGdlp4A
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