South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-05-12


Mr.. Butterwick called ia to see me
the other day. and in the course OF the
conversation he said:
I'm going to move. can't stand
those Thompsons next door TO me any
longer. They're the awfullcst people to
borrow things that ever saw. Coffee
and Butter. aud sugar and flour don't
mind 60 much. although when q woman
borrows high priced sugar and Java
coffee and sends back sand and chicko.
ry, q man naturally feels bilious and
mad. But they've borrowed pretty
near everything In the house. First it's
one thing. then it's another. from morn.
ing till night. right straight along.
Nov there's the poker. A poker is
piece Of machinery that YOU would
think anybody might go around and
buy, or. IL they couldn't afford it, they
migl.use fence paling 10 shake up the
fire. But Mrs. Thompson seems to
banker after our poker. She borrows
1t fifteen or twenty times day, and last
Saturday she sent for it thirty. -four
times. She pays boy so week to
run over and borrow that poker. and
she's used it so much that its all bent up
like a corkscrcw.
Now, take chairs for instance. She
asks us to lend her our chairs three
times day at every meal. and she Dor.
rows the rocking chair whenever she
wants to put the baby to sleep.
"A couple OF times she sent over for
sofa, and when the ooy came back
with it he said Mrs. Thompson was mad
as thunder, and kept growing round
the house all day because there were no
castors on it. Last Monday she Dor.
rowed our wash boiler and we had to
put off our washing till Tuesday. She
did her preserving in l.. and the conse.
quencc was all our clothes we're full of
preserved peaches. I've got on an un.
dcr.shirt now that I'm mighty doubtful
il I'll ever get of, it's stuck to me SO
tight.
Every now and then she has compa.
ny. and then she borrows our hired girl
and all the parlor furniture; once he
cause would not carry the piano over
for her and take down the chandelier
she told our girl that there were rumors
about town that was reformed pirate.
Perfectly scandalous! They think
nothing of sending over after a couple
of bedsteads or the entry carpet. and
the other day Thompson says to me -
"Butterwick, docs your pump log pull
up easy?"
And when said I thought it did
he said -
well. l would like to borrow il 70,
a few days till can get one, for mines
all rotted away"
didn't try to borrow the we'll along
with it.
"And then on Tuesday Mrs. Thomp
son sent that boy over TO know IL Mrs
Butterwick wouldn't lend her our from,
door. She sad theirs was away being
painted and she was afraid the baby
would catch cold. When ] asked hin
what he supposed we were going to dc
to keep comfortable without any from,
door, he said Mrs. Thompson said she
reckoned we might tack up bedquiIt OF
something. And when / refused, the
boy said Mrs. Thompson told him if
wouldn't send over the front door tc
ask Mrs. Butterwick to lend her n PAL,
OF striped stockings and q horsc.hail
oustle and to borrow the coal scuttle til
Monday.
What in the name Of Moses she i.
going to do with hustle and a Goa
scuttle can't conceive.
"But they're the most exit aordinar,
people Last Fourth OF July the bo,
came over and told Mrs. Butterwicl
that Mrs. Thompson would be much o
oiiged it she'd lend her the twins for .
few minutes. Said Mrs. Thompso,
wanted 'em to suck off new bottle TOP
because it made her baby sick TO taste
fresh indiarubber! Cheeky, wasn't III
But that's her way. Sho don't mind Il
any more.
why I've known her TO take Off on
Johnny's pants when he's been playin.
over there with the children, and sens
him home bare legged to tell his motbe
that she borrowed them for n pattern
And on Thompson's birthday she sale
her house was so small for n party tina
u we'd lend her ours we might come lat,
in the evening and dance with the com
pany, if we wouldn't let on that we LIVED
there
Yes, sir; I'm going 10 move. II
rather live next door to lunatic ASYLUM
and .havo the maniacs pouring red no
shot over the fence every hour of th,
day. Indeed would"
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EV John Adams wrote, propheticaIly
"But let us take warning. and give IL I,
our ohiidron IVhann.-x- -.