Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-03-11

suu sOme Otuer5 L mlSnL mentlOn nave
used me pretty roughly roughly in their
time. But since I read the report of
Great Trial in the 7ribune-a paper,
by the way, which have perused with
infinite pleasure ever since jay Gould
bought it, have taken strong fancy
to you, Mr.. Beecher, and to the Ply
mouth style of religion. You are manly
fellow, sir; O man after my own heart,
SIR. Your adultery was fine stroke,
am artistic stroke, egad. I can't show
anything prettier on my books. Your
| perjury, too, was delicious. Couldn't
have done better on the witness stand
myself. 1 assure you it made great
sensation in hell. It revived interests
there in church matter to an amazing
degree. In fact, Mr.. Beecher, we got
up little church of our own and voted
unanimously to give you call. No de-
nominational connections; work light
and agreeable; total freedom in your
personal relations; no illiberal theology
to hamper you, climate warm, and SAL
cry 500, 900 every year. I've fixed up
a nice little parsonage (unmortgaged)
for you in the celler under the bottom
less pit" And the devil stood patient
ly awaiting an answer, and scratching
his left ear with the sharp end of his
tail. ......... .s..s..
But" cried Mr.. Beecher, I" this is
very sudden! This is very
"Comer said the delegate from be-
low, in louder tone. The leonine
face was very sheep-like now.
Brother Shearman threw up window
sash, jumped out, and rushed away in
breathless haste.
"I'm afraid I must Decline" said
Mr.. Beecher. I fear the climate isn't
good for the hay fever"
"Come!" shouted the devil third
time, "You might as well try to row
up Niagara in a peanut. shell as to pull
against my wishes. s.
Meanwhile Shearman had returned =,
and was fourishing documents under
the devils nose. +...- .~..
=" Hold onp yelled the lawyer, "you
mustn't take him. I've got an injunc-
ton here" ..... .
"Not good" said Satan. "Your
courts have no jurisdiction in my cases. Z"
And I've got quo warranto writ, /"
continued Shearman, waving a second
document. ......
"No jurisdiction, I repeat" said the
devil, calmly. 81 assure you, upon
my professional honor, your quo war
ranto won't hold water. Come! Henry
Ward Beecher."
"Then take me toop' exclaimed the
highly pious lawyer, his eyes brimming
with brine. "You will not part me
from my pastor? I love him better
than aught beside. Better than my
own wife-yea, than many wives.
Whittier he goest there goest also.
Take me along with Henry Ward Beech
err
" Pardon me-" said the devil politely
but grimly. ST mean no offence, for
I regard you as a valuable person-on
earth. But you are too watery for our
latitude. wouldn't have you in nell
for any price. You could put out all
my fires with half an eye. Really, now
you'll have to excuse me for the pres
ent. BY and by you will be better pre-
pared"
"Take me! take me!' pleaded Shear
man, bursting into tears. "You'll take
Henry Ward Beecher, why not take
me?" i
"Excuse me-" said the devil again,
with low bow and sardonic grin.
d" You remember what Sir Joseph Banks
remarked just after his famous expert
ment with the Holsters and fieas in the
kettle"
"No," said Shearman, "what was it?'
-" Fleas are not Holsters, d-n their
souls" whispered the devil in low,
sweet voice, as he vanished in cloud
of sulphurous smoke, with Henry Ward
Beecher under his arm. -