The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-08-24
Mr.. Smiths Boy.
His Startling Statements Concerning His
Family.

A family named Smith has recently moved
to Germantown, aud Mr.. Browns boy, on
Saturday, leaned over the fence and gave to
our reporter his impressions of Mr.. Smiths
boy, lad about fourteen years old:
"Yes, me and him are right we'll acquainted
now; he knows more'n do. and he's had more
experience Bill says his fisher used to be a
robber, (Smth, by the way is deacon in the
Prssbeterian and very excellent lawyer), and
that he has ten million dollars in gold buried in
his cellar, along with whole lot of human
bones, people he's killed. And he says bis
father is a conjurer and that he makes all the
earthquakes that happen anywhere in the
world The old man'll come home at night,
after there's been 40 earthquake, all covered
with sweat. and 80 tired he kin hardly stand,
Bill says it's such hard work.
And Bill tole me that once, when man
cane around there trying to sell lightenin
rods, his father got mad and let him right up,
and be takes bites out every he comes acrost
That's what Bill tells me. That's all know
about It, And then once he used to- have a
dog, one of those little kind of dogs, and he was
flying his kite, and just for fun he tied the kite
string on to his dogs tail. And then the wind
struck her and bus dog went ADJOINING down
the street, with the kite of sudden begun to
go up and in about minute the dog was
fifteen miles high, and commanding a view OF
Of California, and Egypt, and Oshkosh, think
Bill said. He came down anyhow, 1 know, in
Brazil, and Bill said he swum home all the
way in the Atlantic ocean, and when he land.
ed his legs were all nibbled off by sharks
81 wish father'd buy me a dog, SOS l could
send him up that way. But 1 never have no
luck. Bill said that where they used to live
he went out on the roof, one day. to fly his
kite, and he sat on the top of the chimb!y to
give her plenty of room, and, while he was
sitting there thinking about nothing, the old
man put keg OF powder down below in the
fireplace to clean the SCOT out of the chmbly
And when he touched her off Bill was blowed
over agin the Baptist church steple, and he
landed or the weather cock with his pants torn,
and they couldn't not him down for three days,
SO he hung there going round and round with
the wind, and he lived by eating the crows that
came and sat on him, because they thought he
was made of sheet iron, aad put there on pur-
pose.
"He's had more fun than enough. He was
telling me the other day about sausage
stuffer his brother invented. 1t was a kinder
machine that worked with a treble; aud Bill
said bis brother called it Every Hog His Own
know. Pears to mes if there couldn't be no
machine like that. But any way, Bill said So
And he told me about an uncle of his out
IN Australia, who was ct by big oyster once,
and when he got inside be stayed there until
he'd ct the oyster. Then he split the shells
open and took half one for boat, and he
sailed along unlil he met a sea.serpent, and he
killed it and drawed off its skin, and when he
got nome ne SOLD It to an engine company for
hose. for forty thousand dollars, to put out
fires with. Bill said that it was actually so,
because he could show me a man who used to
belong to the engine company. wish father'd
let me go out to find a sea-serpent like that:
but he don't let me have chance to distin-
guish myself.
Bill was saying only yesterday, that the
Indians caught him once and drove eleven
railroad spikes through his stomach, and cut
off bis scalp, and never hurt him a Bit He
said he got away by the daughter of the chief
shaking him ont of the wigwam and lending
him horse Bill says she was in love with
him, and when L asked him to let him see the
holes where they drove in them spikes, he
said he darsn't take off his clothes or he'd
bleed to death. He said his own father didn't
know it, because Bill was afraid it might
worry the old man.
And Bill told me they wasn't going to get
him to 60 to Sunday-school. He says his
father has brass idol that he keeps in the
garrett, and Bill says he's made up his mind to
be pagan and begin to 20 naked, and carry a
tomahawk and bow and arrow, as soon as
the warm weather comes. And to prove it to
me he says his father has this town all under
laid with nitro-glycerine, and as soon as he
gets ready he's going to blow the old thing out
and bust her up, let rip and demolish her. He
SAID so down at the dam. and tole me not to
anybody, but thought they'd be no harm in
mentioning it to you.
And now believe must be going. [ hear
Bill a-whistling. Maybe he's got something
else to tell me-"