Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-08-04
NASBY.
Mr.. Nasty Goes Into Indiana on a
Political Mission-.He Takes Issaker
Gavitt With Him :. Tho Mistakes
They Made, and tho Dire Result.
CONPEDRlr X ROADS
WICH Is IN THE STATE OF KENTUCKY,

Gav1tt with Him Tho Mistaken
They Made, and tho Dire Result.
CoNrEDRlr X ROADS
WICn Is IN THE STATE OF KENTUCKY.
Jooly 18th, 1876.
Man is ov few days and full ov
trouble. I can't understand why life
should be sich a conundrum-I can't
understand why things shoodent go
on with more perfect loosenis, and
an easier gait. In short, why shood.
ent everybody, except the black Re
publikins, hav precisely wat they
want without all this trouble and
perplexity to git it?
Feelin it to be my dooty to do
suthin in the interest Nv "Tilden and
Reform" 1 conclooded to spend a
porshen NV the money that John
Morrisey left with me, to infooence
voters, in lower country in Injeeany,
and to do it effectooally, made per.
feet preparashens beforehand, and
made sich arrangements ez wood re-
suit in a proper demonstration Nv the
soopcriority Nv "Tildcn and Reform d
over Hayes and Wheeler.
Ez l he'd to do the speekin in
tended it to be effective. | wanted
that my work shood count for the
COZ, and be seed that shood result in
a glorious harvest in November.
hev alluz notised that ef a speek
cr kin be interrupted at the rite time,
and ef the feller wat interrupts hap
pens to ask question on wich the
speaker is perfectly postid, his prompt
anser alluz put the questioner, or in
terrupter to flite, and wins for the
speeker the sympathy of the people.
l perposed to interdoosc a new idee
in stumpin, by taken with me my own
interruptcr, SO that I Good be sure
that the queries he shood put wood
be sich that l Good properly anser,
and anser with effeck.
selected ez the questions l wantid
asked me, these:
Wat is the amount Nv the nashnel
debt?
Eff Linkin he'd bin detected, wood
that debt hev bin incurred?
Wuz not the incurrin Nv the debt
a blessin, pertikelery ez it was in
CURED to give freedom to 100000
niggers?
Is it not the wisest thing we KIN to
do to git down to a gold basis to
wunst?
Hadent the Western farmer ought
to swet and scald TO pay the debt to
the Eastern capitalist?
writ these questions all down and
arranged for the answers. You see
they give me chance, eff l Good hev
EN- asked in order, to give the Re-
publikins sich a hidin ez they never
he'd. 1t give me an opportoonity to
show that the debt was made in the
interest NV ablishnism, that ef the
Republican party had never succeeded
there never wood hev bin no debt,
that to git back to gold wood room
everybody, and that the Eastern
bondholder wanted the Western
farmer to pay the debt anyway.
l decided to take Issaker Gavit
with me to act ez Republican inter
rupter, and he'd to git him up ez q
Republican. 1t wuz hard job-the
hardest ever undertook. TO meta
morphose a Cross Roads Democrat
into a Republican is task that re-
quires genius; but l undertood it, and
succeeded to some extent. l pow
dered his nose, 1 he'd him shaved, and
I put on him clean shirt. l made
him black his boots, hevin first fur
nished HIM with pair, and then /
put on him a decent SCOT of close,
and made him wear EN- about the
corners awhile till he got yoosed to
EN-, and Good appear easy in en-
Then l took him and coached HIM in
the questions wanted to ask. / he'd
him repeat EN- over and over agin till
he he'd EN- by heart, and I told him
exactly where in my speech I wanted
him to git in with eech Nv EN-. l re-
peetid my speech to him a dozen
times, and he'd him interrupt me with
his questions, or rather the questions
l he'd prepared for HIM, and then I
made the ansers, and instructed him
in all the minutia, even to his blushn
when he sot down dlscomfittid.
got him so we'll instructed that I
flattered myself l shood 60 through
with a wet sheet and a flowin sale,
and shood accomplish big work for
the party. 1 LATED to think wat a
good thing it wood be to hev Issaker
dressed up ez a Republican, with his
nose powdered, and to hev him ask
me such questions ez l Good anscr-
askin en- ez a Republican, and me
putin him to utter shame!
The fust mite l spoke I he'd it all
arranged. Issaker wuz to set in the
awjence, and at the proper time, in
all of wlch he wuz instructed, he wuz
to commence. 1t wuz a big meetin,
the skool house wuz full, and hoped
for great things.
Alars for human expectation! l
had bin SO bissy drummin up the
mcetin thro the day that didn't
watch Issaker, and knew nothin NV
wat he wuz doin till I saw him in the
awdjencc. commenced my speech,
and hedn't got deccntly into the in
troducshen-I think was dwellin'
onto the horrors Of the messegenashen
when up he got. Great heavens!
He wuz ez drunk ez a billed owl, and
hedn't any more idee Nv wat he wuz
doin than 500 Injin. Risin to his
feet, lie swayed around unstedily,
and remarked that he he'd question
to ask. In agony, for l couldn't help
myself, I sed task it"
GEE a Republican," said he.
The awjence all LATED, tor they
knowd by his nose that he wuz no
Republican.
"Ez a Republican l want to know
whether debt wich wuz incurred to
nominate Tllden, and bring about
the blesans NV Suthren Confedrisy,
oughtcnt to be paid by the bloated
Democracy NV Moo York, wich nom-
mated Tilden and paid the llkker
bills Nv the speeker on the platform,
who owes me for more than four
yeers board, and never paid for a
drink in his lite, unless it wuz a mis-
take, and wich brot me here to inter-