Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-05-24
Jokes in China.

Oriental travellers say that Chinese
gentleman thinks it beneath his dignity
to manufacture his own witticisms
He appreciates wit, and he is fond of
tea; but he would as soon grow-his own
tea as make his own Sokes. When he
goes into society, he carries in his peck
ct package of prepared witticisms and
repartees, which he has purchased at
the nearest Eoke-shop. When CONVEX
sation flags, and he perceives an oppor-
tunity for saying something brilliant,
he draws a humorous remark from the
top of his package, and gravely hands
it to his neighbor. The latter as grave
ly reads it, and, selecting from his bun
die Of repartees the one which is APP
propriate, returns it, with bow, to the
original Joker. The two then solemnly
smile in courteous and undemO nstra-
tive way, and resume their converse
ton, feeling that they have acquitted
themselves with conspicuous brilliancy.
Xantippe.
It seems that the memory of this
woman, like that of her renowned husband,
is likely to be kept alive to the end of time.
She is said to haze possessed very irritable
nym of "vixen," or "scold." It is more
than possible, however that the Judgment
passed upon her by mankind has been too
severe. A more charitable disposition would
undoubtedly have discovered in her, many
good qualities and have attributed her fail
ings more to physical infrmities than to
moral obliquity. Thelparty most intimately
able to form q correct opinion, gives her
credit for many domestic virtues. It is now
well-known that many of the diseases to
which women are subject have direct
tendency to render them irritable peevish,
cross, morose, unreasonable so that they
chafe and fret over all those little ills and
annoyances that person in health would
bear with composlme. 1t is fair to infer that
most of the tantrums of Xantippe, were due
to these causes alone and couldSocrates, as
he returned from the Senate, the Gymnasi-
UNI or the Atheneum, have stopped at
Pestle & Mortar's Drug Store and carried
home bottle of DIR. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription, now and then, no doubt he might
have evaded many ~ curtain lecture" al
! layed many domestic broil,'' made it
much pleasanter for ehe,ohildren, and more
enjoyable for himself, andlrescued his wife's
name from the unenwiable, worldwide, and
eternal notoriety it has attained. Thousands
of women bless the day on which Dr.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription was first made
known to them. A single bottle often gives
delicate and suffering women more relief
than months of treatment from theirfamily
physician. In all those arrangements caus-
ing backache, dragging down sensations
nervcus and general debility, it is sovereign
remedy. It's soothing and healing proper
ties render it of the utmost value to ladies
suffering from internal fever. congestion
| inflammation ,.or liberation, and its strength
ening effects tend to correct dispGacements of
internal parts, the result of weakness Of
natural supports. It is sold by all druggists
The West END HOTEL, on the Euro
! pean plan, 1926 Chestnut st., Philadelphia,
next door to the Reform Club. centrally To-
Gated, and arranged for two hundred guests,
supplies long felt want, Aecommoda-
tons first class. Prices moderate. The
proprietor, c. T. Jones. Esq, for eight years
! In the Hoffman House, New York, knows
how to keep hotel.-Com.
AT our request Cragin & Co., of Phil
adelphia, Pa, have promised to send
any of our readers, gratis ION receipt of
fifteen cents to pay postage}, sample
of Dobbins' Electric Soap to try. Send
at once.-Com.
WHY is watchdog bigger at night
than by day? Because he is let out at