Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1876-03-24
humorous Sketches

didn't want to have the bother of taking
care Of her, aud she was competed to remain
at home. He reached home in the even
ing after an absence Of two days, and as he
sat eating his supper he observed
Il tell you il was long ride. and I'm
glad you didn't CO.
Lonesome, was il p she asked.
1T would have been fearpful il | hadn't
had young lady in the seat with me- ne
replied.
What, a Young lady in the seat with
you?'
That is-you know the car was crowd
ed he said.
And Won offered her half your seat y
4 that is. she eat down there, he STAN
mered.
Mrs. Shott'. ear. grew red and her eyes
snapped.
And 90 it was lonesome, was 1t You
didn't speak to her, suppose ~ inquired
the wife.
WHY, II spoke once or twice, OF
course
Nice young lady, suppose =
We'll, no, can't say she was
And there you sat and looked your
sweetest, and I'll bet you passed yourself
off as a single man.
Il don't no 40 / did he replied as he
drank his tea
Did YOU inform her that you were mar
ried and had ihres children ? she
demanded.
Il don't remember, though presume l
did,
You presume you did Well, l pre-
sumo you didn't know Just how you
sat I'D there and pretended to be rich
widower, and took care of her satchels,
and bought popcorn and illustrated papers
!or her =
Mr.. Shott inquired ifthere was any more
biscuit.
It's nice operation your coming home
and expecting to find hot bicsuit for you ,
she went on. why didn't you ask if that
Young lady could make biscuit Why
din,t she come home to tea with you =
Nancy, don't be foolish, he observed.
Don't be foolish Who is foolish Here
was, scrabbing and baking and patching,
and breaking my bacI, and you we're
braced up in seat beside young lady,
.trokIng those yellow wtiskers aud talking
about your bonds and mortgages and your
lonely widOwer life >
i wasn't, he griehy observed.
Daniel, did that girl rid all lhs way
from Chicago with you ? asked Mrs. Shott
as she toyed with the handle of the milk
jug.
Did she Lemme see = he unused, as
he he:ped himself to the butter.
'You know she did = shouted Mrs.
shott.
If she got off at any of the stations
didn't see her, ; he admitted.
And there you sat and sat, and rede, and
you paid out money we need so much in
:he house, for peanuts and popcorn, and
juba paste, and picture papers
Daniel, let me sec your wallet
Ny Wallet
Yea, sir, your wallet =
What for, Nancy p
Il want to see your wallet p
'lt's the same one always had
You left home with twenty six dollars,
and | know exactly what the trip cost.
Fare 10 Chicago and back, seventeen dol
lars. Hotel bill two dollars. I'll allow
one dollar more for incidentals, and now
where's that six doliars p
'I-I-!' he stammered.
You wha. 2
Il mel Green down by the depot and lent
him four dollars.
Daniel Shoti who is Green and where
does be live p
Daniel didn't reply.
Daniel Shott, you've lied to me = She
exclaimed. You didn't want 10 take me
along owing TO hard times. You said I'd
bother you. IfI'd been along you'd have
growled for times q mile about the bother
and expense, and there you went and
bothered with q young lady and squander-
ed four dollars on her, and here I've worn
these old shoe. seven month. 10 save
expense y
III get you a new pair pretty soon he
replied.
You will, ehl When p
Before the Fourth Of July, anyhow.
You can squander four dollars on an
unknown girl and make me wait four
months for shoes, can you?'
What unknown giri? p
Daniel Shott-!'
And the milk pitcher came down on his
head. she caught him by the necktie and
the Oldest boy ran out doors and yelled
'Gre!' Several of the neighbors ran over,
but Mrs. Shott met them at the door and
said il was only a burning chimney. When
they asked for Mr.. Shott she remarked:
'Mr. Shott dpesn't feel bit well and 10
covered up on the lounge l'-Daroit Free
Press.
DID He PROPOSE Pit was midnight.
The young man had iarewelled himself
out, and Emeline had locked the door aud
was untying her shoes, when her mother
came down stairs with bed1uilt around
her, and said:
Wanted TO creep up stairs without my
hearing you, eh Didn't think / knew it
was an hour after midnight did you =
The girl had no reply, and the mother
continued
Did he propose this timef'
'Why-mother = exclaimed the dsugh-
ter.
You can why, mother, all you want TO,
bst don't i know that he has been coming
here for the last year ? Don't know that
you've burned up at leas: four tons of coal
coerting arsund here p
The girl got her shoes of, and the mother
stood 10 the stair door and asked
'Emeline. have you got any grit p
4 guess se.'
Il guess you haven't. just wish a feller