The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-04-20
Wanted to be an Editor.

"Have you had any experience in the
business 2" we asked ofa verdant looking
youth who applied for an editorial posi-.
tion the other day. b..
"Havn't I thought" he replied as he
showed one foot under his chair to, hide
the unskillful patching of a backswoods
cobb!er. II should say I'd had some ex-
perience-havn't corresponded for six
weeks with the Pumpkinville Sereamer :
Hain't that experience enough"
"That will do very well" !" we replied
."but when we, take young men ou our
editorial staff, we generally put them
through an examination. How much
are twelve times .one,?"' $50.
"Twelvel why any little boy ought to
am "D7.p.-'.- t'".i1 80. ~ go.
"Hold on, please-don't be too fast
who discovered America :" -
"Kulumbus! Pshaw, them questions
are just as easy as-"'
"Who was the first man ?" ~
"Adam! why Mister, 1 know all"
"What was his other name?'
"His other name? why. he didn't have
none." :'' 90 ''.'-. - r..
"Yes, he did. You see that's where
we've got you. His other name was Eb-
enezer-Ebenezer Adam, Esq, late Of
Paradise. Nobody knows this but
editors, and see to it that you don't tell
anybody?" o. -. .'I''.' : ~; -: =.
:, He said he wouldn't. '''s a. ~
'."How many bones are there in the
human body?" f-l'. a.'.- 80 - :, :.
wunst." - - .. 81 -; - '','' -, ~
"What don't you know that?:, Why
there's Z, 1921 ,444 bones in an ordinary
man. a man that snores has one bone
more than other people" =, n, ,.'
i't"What bone is that? ?" 70. -,
"The trombone. Tt is situated some.
where in the nose. You wont forget
that, will your" - 80 80. :. - -
he said he wouldn't. 80.
"How long would it take mudturtle
to cross the desert of Sahara with a small
orphan boy to touch him up behind with
a red-hot poker ?" ,r..
"Well. look here, Mister, if I had a
slate and pencil I could fgger that out,
but dog my skin if I'm much on mental
rithmetic." ..,,...
estate and pencil! Did you ever see
a slate and pencil about sanctum ?
Well, we'll let that question slip. Have
you got good constitution 2" ., -,
"Putty tolerable." .., I'm, ..,...s
tHow long do you suppose you could
live on raw corn and faith, and do the
work of d domestieated elephapt?"' 49,.
."Lord 7 don't believe I could live
morn week." -. =. -, ~. .r:a.s -. u
"Well, that's about as. long as you'd
want to live if you got an editorial; posi-
ton on this paper. You appear to be
pretty well posted; we shall ask you one
more question, and if you prove. equal to
it you can. take off your coat and sail
in" g.. 81, .,i. a.;
:, aLet's have, Ter squire. :. I didn't cor,
respond for the Pumpkinvil1e Sc, Gamer six
weeks for nothin'. Letter, ,comeTI'm on
deck, I am" r. :. ,.,..yat. :i,,. =.
swell, sir, if two diametrical circles
with octagonal peripheries should collide
with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or, to
put it palmer, we'll say q disenfranchised
nonentity, what, effect would the catastro-
phe exert on crystalized cod fish sus.
pended by the tail from the homogeneous
rafters of the empWeanP. aaa no,
As the full force Of this ponderous
problem broke upon his bewildered brain,
be slowly, dragged his inartistically
cobbled shoe from under, his chair, and
started from, the ROOM We heard him
descend the stairs, go, out, and close the
door. We then placidly resumed our
duties, regretting that SO promising a
youth should have been weighed in the
balance and found ,wanting.-Franklin
Patriot. ,.ieo ,.,a =