The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1876-06-11


he stood at the Window No, IL did not
signify how I looked though perhaps II
he saw me dismal and deprcssed --nlmost
rs quickly rs the thought framed itseil'
my plan was formed.
had always been carly in the mornings,
always busy and healthy looking, always
ready to run on crrands, or TO laugh over
any trlfie. Now began TO droop; rather
suddenly, II must he confessed, but still in
a very natural manner. | lost my appe-
tite and spirits; ! sighed good deal when
any one was within hearing, aud leaned ut
tho window, always in tue twilight, look
ing out in weary and spiritless manner.
| refused all Invitations to walk, or drive,
or visit, and sat apart from Aunt Anna
and Heinrich when we all were together
never reused myself when he came IN, or
ran to greet him as / had been used to do,
and always answered very low and tired
ly when was spoken to.
Aud all this time. while j tried so hard
TO droop and pine. his music maddened
me. Often knew stopped 1t by the petu-
liant, impatient words which rushed from
my lips when, in my Jealousy nnd despair,
| saw how fully and entirely II could
satisfy him. one night he brought me IN
a bunch OF pure white lilies and my heart
beat until l feared he could see 1t. But
before had carried the flowers to my face
he had shut himself into his own room,
with the art he loved, nh mel 80 far be-
You'd all earthly friendsl l left the lilies
lying about the drawing room all evening,
moving them sometimes to bring them
more surely within his notice. But think
lie saw ms little of my studied neglect as
he did OF the kisses | showered on my
lilies that night before locked them away
among my few lifelong treasures.
That was "A wuketul aud unhappy night
for me, but in the morning | hnd deter
mined to throw OFF this gloom In which
had voluntarily wrapped myself. | would
be bright and helpful IN the house; | would
be kind aud cheerful, always ready with
aid ana interest and sympathy. | would
make myself necessary TO everyone; |
would make his life happy and pleasant.
IL was but a lonely u fe he lea, AT oest, and
| had often heard how he lightened the
burden aud frightened the lot OF IA poor
aud strug Cling urtlst brother.
| came down stairs next morning in the
blue ribbons which hac - ..idden so long,
md laughed when | saw Heinrich watch
ing me IN grave surprise. i Chatted volu-
bly, all day, and when he came from the
opera that night he found me IA wakeiul
| ~ II IL had been midday instead of mid
night. But what difference did il make to
| himt lie sat down to the piano, and went
dreamily through parts OF the opera he
mad heard, his head bent little, and his
eyes full of deep and quiet happiness
| with which we knew that he had nothing
TO do.
Once that summer Heinrich had taken
me TO hear this opera, but instead OF pleas
ure Ii was n cruel pain to me. An aching
CONSCIOUSNESS that he had forgotten my
very existence married ali my enjoyment,
and every strain which he reJoiced in
stabbed me with Il cruel pain. Perhaps
even though so engrossed-he saw this
FOR no never again proposed to take me,
aud never once had he taken me to hear
his own music or his own matches play
| ing. And | was glad of thus. | had
IA wild vague fancy that it would be worse
than death to Inc To be one among "A crowd
| OF listeners to those wonderful tones which
stirred me so terribly even in our own
| silent rooms ut home, and to see the ap-
| pluuse and adulation of thousands LAID at
| his feet where my own had laid 50 long
| unnOtiCed.
All the attention 6nd interest which I
| was ready TO give after that last resolu-
| ton OF mine, he took most easily, and
| without comment; and even when | tried
| little testing and coqucttiug, just TO
| tease and arouse hun to retaliate. he gen
| orally only smiled down upon me. or spoke
| coolly OF things far removed from the sub
jects on which jested. Once, in the mid
| die of II neat little provocation of mine, he
rose and began to pace slowly up and
| down the room, his arms folded behind
| him and his head bent. l thought he was
musing on what had SAID and would mt
| last begin TO tease me IN return; but IA lew
minutes afterward he sat down and play ed
| on overture which Is now of worldwide
celebrity aud introduces his first opera.
The summer days went on very slowly
| for me, nlied win unspeakabie anxiety,
! yet with IA dangerous, trcacherous hhppI-
ness. My heart was light by nature las
| perhaps all hearts must be which are so
easily won and therefore hope chung 10
| me through all my disappointment and
Notifications. Something would surely
move this dreamy, concentrated soul OF
| Hcinrich's
one morning as | stood in his room,
| looking round upon his favorte books and
instruments OF music, new resolution
formed itself in my mind l would study
Tor time, and show hun how possible II
was even for me 10 appreciate the studies
he loved.
began ut once to practise the music !
had SO long neglected. l worked indefa-
tlgably and Ceasclessly at 1t; and. besides
that, l slowly and studiouSly read the
books OF which had oftenest heard HIM
speak. Aunt Anna never interrupted me
in these studies; indeed, she always con-
tilved to make them easier for me, and al
lust came the night on which meant tC
surprise Heinrich by my performance of Il
symphony OF his own. II was "A beautiful
oilm summer night and Heinrich aud
had been sitting apart ut the two open
windows, looking out upon the motlonles'
leaves and never speaking. Quietly al
Inst | left my seat and went to the piano
determined not to look back at Heinrich
yet longing Intensely to see II he were sur
prlsed. My fingers trembled so when | LAID
them on the keys that | had TO wait and
gather strength and courage rs could
then at last, in the utter silence, and see
ing more distinctly than my notes tn,
quiet figure nj the open window, 1 began
/ nave no memory now of those mlullte'
through which played. Thereon whirleC
round me- and my fingers lost theil
strength, while still | could play the notes
| had learned, but whose soul | could mo-
reach, then or ever. What first rcmem
Der Is Herr Heinrich standing above me
hIs ewes full Of PANIED surprise.
stay, Phyllis; you have utterly mis-
taken my meaning there Let me show
you"
lie took my seat then, and played to me
| have heard the chords played since
hundred tunes, but never once as they
Were played that night-whie ! stoo1
there beside the open window, as far from
HIM as ! could stand, my fingers locked to
gether and my eyes wide ana aching, as
10 keep back the tears-I kept them iixeC
: high among the dry aud thirsty leaves IL
the gardens.
( That" said Heinrich. grlvely, AS h
rose " is what meant, Phyllis"
| 1t is nothing SAID my voice stif ant
hard; " the notes were just AS | playe'
them
Yes" he said.
: And to put your own meaning in tn
I chords and then to call correctness "A mis-
I take OF mine Is cruel, and unfair, and
| Iha aattnnep uus uoi uu1shaH and | Inn