, 1876-11-19
HuM0R.

High t-HteW from UaslOuAf
Some letters Of the alphabet seem to have
their own appropriate and distinctive colors, as,
for instance, red j, blue j, green t, etc
You never can tell what boy will do within
m hour after YOU lose sight Ut him, but you
can safcly bet lie will not do What you want to
have him do.
At the box-otfice: LADY, want box.
Treasurcr-Only one left--to seat five. land
how many will it hold! T.-Four, II you sit
close.-tari rapr.
Every heart knows its own misery" she
said. as she looked Into tie nest and saw ti'at
those Cochin eggs that cost S. per dozen had
hatched out Muscory ducks.
The Romans were wise people, and
thoughtful and considcratc people Cicero
never had occasion TO defend man tor throw
ing pearllpl:s on the sidewalk.
New York Commercial: 4 Ar. Brandy has
become Republican newspaper proprietor in
tat interior Of this State. Brandy IN the in
terror is always good, you Know
Huxley contends that frog is only bird
without feathers; aud SO tish-ball must be
only baseball with the wrapper knocked oil,
aud q stone is only an. apple-dumpling gone to
seed
3Irs. Partington QoQuitur}-' But there! The
It suppressed my highest cxhortations. Scfl
sr1uist:c trick brick! Slch 1ans Of nni-q &C.
s-@us! Sich vases and gardeners! Sich ralr ar
tiAcs Of virtue! 1t heggsars de;eption!''
Brooklyn 1yus: *tNy sou," said Alr. Mar
row::t to Altazrrxcs, @1you are old enough now
IT, choose VOCATION in life. What pursuit Do
wa think you woulc prefcrt' "Fathcr,:' said
trtase,xcs, '.you know l. cannot tell q lie. II
'iIacn is cl-etId want to be railroad wreck
er.:'
"A Eorri5town genius has invented machine
for rnui:..r butt tota-iltles. The great advantage
vi t:iis machine over a!l others lies in the TACT
t.;at tie loi E1adc iy it can be cut out OF an
old coat ard inserted il a new garment, and
l:,us tue trouble ami expense of making new
blttou-holes is ayoided-
4 Michigan Justice Of the Peace having been
hunted Vi, with some difficulty by 4 tc!rgrapne
messenger, with a dispatch announcing his
latEer's death, refused to pay the charge OF 81
ivr delivery. lie said, ~ amt agoin' to pay
for that news. for 1'-c been expectin' the old
G,an to die tGr some time"
Madisonenis: Stene in .clocution (stueent
trying To render ioug scutcusc which contains
lie following: .' ANA l'::l1 the other hall, cry
ing that hell clutehing 4. their hearts, lied,
eth rroiessnr: can't go through that en-
Ire sc1tence at one breath" Frotessur-''G 10
to HE'LL them. Student willis.
A Springfield {slass.) little child interrogated
t., his political views: .sAre you a Tilden
man!'' .'Yes, ! am; aren:t youf" No; I'm
fnr HAYES and Wheeler 'sl3ut :our fathers a
Tilden man," persisted the Young Democrat
No, he amt, either" !" But he must be-. re-
joined tae unterride1, sscos hc drinks beer.''
burlington Uankrye: A man rushed into d
Main street restaurant the other DAY in an awful
hurry, ant Hopping into clsalr, called for
caii;s bead souu'' a Calf said wEat> s;7:" in
quircd the waiter. i" Call's head soup!:' roared
the impatient guest Adtnonishcd by lhe wrath
1ul tone, the waiter moved away, but paused to
,f iffN- Fshf Iii ir3t
hcar him say what hnd oi soup, sir!''
4 criminal is hauled before the tribunal, and,
being uEahlc to disproyc Or even to deny the
charges Iiaoe against Lin. concludes by--half
through disgust, half through deviltcy-:dinit-
ting about thirty highway l0bbcries, bnrglaries,
f,ion;ous assaults, and the like. The jury
n,a|ses it d life sentence at hard labor. Where
Oh the prisoner: 'Tl1crc is no God! To think
Lat, alter a.lp,y experience, should get nip
ped for stealing pair OF miserable boots !" The
Judce-Lct ths be lesson to you never to un-
d"rtake more than you can accomplish. .''-Paris
1afIc1..