davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19
DIR. sANFORD,S
LIVER .INVIGORATOR.
COlnpOundet

These GUMS res
move all morbid
or bad matter.
from the sy stem,
8 u Iyfn g ila
their place a
he althy flow of
bile E; illvigorat-
ing the stomach,
causing food to
digest we'll; PU-
RIFYING THE
BLOOD, giving
tone and health
to the whole ma
chinery, relnov-
ing the cause OF
the diseases, ef-
fecting "a ra dica1
cure. As n FAM
lily MEDICINE
It Is UNEQUAL
ED, and is AL
WAYS SAFE.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19

at comme cement of aIA attack OF SICK
cures i'm Id mi nsstes. YELL
Low or SALLOW SKIN MADE YOUTH
Full by bottle. TRY 1T! For pam hlet
containing useful Information and all
about the Liver, address DIR. SANFORD,
New YOrf SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19

The Emperor William is said to be
growing very feeble, and has physicians
constantly in attendance.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19

A HOG, dressed, which was recently
marketed at Stevens Point, weighed 825
lbs and brought $66.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19

Pc rsOns using
|sh0uldadaptths
IC.Ose to their i'm
ldividuaI cOnsti-
t u tiOn, from q
IteaspOOnfu11 to
n tablespoonful
according to IF.
feet, For alkaf
ife ctiOns of the
LIVER, irregu-
Ilarities of StOn1-.
iach and Bowels,
diseases depends
lent On or caused
by such derange.
nent as Bilious
attacks, Costive-
ness, Chronic Di.
IarrhGa.Dy spep-
STA, Jaundice and
Female Weak
lMeSSeS. 1 table,
isnn0Rlfnll taken
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19
DrrsoN & Co.. our constant advertis-

ers, commence the new year with a large ac-
cession of valuable music. They have pIr-
chased the entire stock of Lee d Walker in
Philadelphia, and will continue the business
there under new title. The stock thus pur-
chased comprises quarter of q mile (500, 900
pieces) of sheet music, 10000 Music Book
Plates, belonging to $50 different books, 1875
pianos and organs, &C., DC. As the original
stock of O. d. & Co. includes about twice the
quantity above named, it will be seen that they
have literally Emusic for the millions" See
INSTRUMENTATION
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19
WHAT IS VEGETINE PIT is a con

WHAT IS VEGETINE PIT is a COM
pound extracted from banks, roots and herbs.
It is natures remedy. 1t is perfectly harmless
from any bad effect upon the system. It is
nourishing and strengthening. It acts directly
upon the bio d. It quiets the nervous system.
1t gives you good, sweet sleep at night. It is
great panacea for our aged fathers and
mothers; for it gives them strength, quiets
their nerves, and gives them natures sweet
sleep-as has been proved by many an aged
person. It is the great blood purifier. It is a
soothing remedy for our children. It has re-
lieved and cured thousands. It is very pleas
ant to take: every child likes it. 1t relieves
and cures all diseases originating from impure
blood. Try the Vegetine. Give it fair trial
for your complaints; then you will say to your
friend, neighbor and acquaintance: sTry it.;
it has cured me. Com.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19

ALWAYS getting things down to fine
point-the needle maker.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19

JOSEPH BURNETT & CO., Boston
Manufacturers and Proprtetors.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19
Two Grand Successes
RICHARDSON'S new METHOD
FOR THE P,ANOFORTE.

FOR THE P,ANOFORTE.
The plus ultra of Pianoforte instruction Books
Cannot be excelled, or even approached by it's
countless competitors. Stands far above them all.
Used by thousands of the best music teachers, and
sold by all Book and Music Dealers. Hundreds of
thousands sold, and the demand as great as ever.
Price 1915. for which it will be mailed, post
free to any address.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-19
Read FALSE AND TRUE.

Send one letter stamp to RADWAY & CO., Nc
80 Warren Street, New York. Informatjo
worth thousands will be sent you
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

CHOCOLATE PUDDTNG.-Threc quarters of
cupful of chocolate grated TO one quart OF
milk which has not been SKINNED. Let it
boil; then SET 10 coO'. Beat until very light
and thick the yolks of four egg reserving the
same number of whites with which to make
a meringue. Swetten with half pound OF
white sugar. and flavor dellcately with vanil-
Ia. The chocolate being cool. gradually STIR
in the sweeicncd eggs, put it iato baking,
dish and let il bake slowly, but not III over
done, make the mcringUc, beat up the
whites until they will stand alone; add by
degrees tour tqblespooniuls of sittcd pull
verized sugar and flavor with little vanilla
or lemon Juice When the chocolate portion
is again cool heap up the meringue upon u
and brown slightly By holding over it lLe..Ied
hot lid of an oycn. OF something OF the sOil
This quantity o: pudding suiices FOR about
Z six persOns.-H0yPer's BG-1r.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

Br.rsTED WATER.PIPEs AND DIVORCE
Professor Proctor being recently interviewed
ON the subject of undevcloped social science,
said that the frequency of divorce which now
aIpalLs the moral public can be dated from
ne advent of pipe-water. He asserted that
no two people could icarlessly confront
burstcd water-pipe without bitter recrimina;;
ton on both sides And the II told you so
Of the wife, and the "Shut up your internal
g,b," of the husband, were the seeds OF a
discord which ripen into bitterness, and bore
the unhallowed flowers of continual misery
II is quite evident from this that none of the
gifted professors family are plumbers. -
UGhJUTy NerS.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

The Rev. Dr. Ritche, of Edinburgh, though
n very clever man, once met with his match
When examining a student as to the classes
he had attended, he said, "And you attended
the class for mathematics 3" "Ics.' How
many sides has circle?" Two" said the
student. What are thcy?' What laugh
IN the court the students answer produced
when he said, Gan inside and an outside!'
The doctor next inquired, And You attend
ed the moral philosophy class alsO:' Yes
"Well, you would hear lectures on various
subjects Did you ever hear one on cause
and effect? "Yes" Does an effect ever &c
before a cause?" "Ics." GIVE me an in
stance" "A man wheeling barrow" The
doctor then sat down and proposed no more
questions.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29
a Song of the season

want to be a plumber,
Ana with the plumbers stand,
A busted pipe before me,
Ny solder in my hand
With rosin then and acid,
The broken place I'd wip-,
And while the iron heated,
Would calmly smoke my pipe.
Then should want some charcoal,
And send the hoy for that:
While, musing very wisely,
on my launches sat.
And when twas time for dinner
W'd take two hours or more,
We'd scarcely get that hole stopped
In time to quit at four.
Our bill would be nine dollars,
The victim he would scold;
A wicked wink I'd tip him,
And, smiling, say, That's Old.
Who wouldn't be plumber
With Jack Frost fer his friend,
With countless frozen sink-Spoute
And busted pipes TO mend:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

In its New Years issue tie Sircaior ff,.
PrCW gave a history of the business done III
that city during the preceding year, and &C
cldently omitted 10 mention few Of the bus
iness houses. The proprietor Of one Of these
promptly went 10 the Office and stopped bis
paper, thinking thereby 10 punish the editor
This Is one Of the smallest snd mos. cOniemp
tible things that man Uan do, and lac never
Injuries any one half so much as himself by
thus exhibiting his spitefulncss. To get mad
At a publisher and discontinue paper on &C
count Of a stirling oversight is a weaEnes,
not confined to Streator. but may be icurd in
ojhe- towns a. well, and always beirsys the
/ posscSsJ. % mean sPiElL-foafidr Sentinel
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

The notorious Henry Clay Dean lately lee
ru-ed in DesMoines, Iowa After the lecture
a number OF gentlemen were conversing on
Tie streets. among them being Rev. J. y. Nash,
-.oneer settler. and well known by the Dap.
is. denomination Of the state. Dean came
up and placing his hand on the shoulder OF
Nr. Nash. said: Brother Nash, like you
YOU are a good ran; but don't think much
# your goose pond salvation plan y hear
u laugh was the response 10 the bTusque eX
preston. Mr. Nash very quietly replied
NO, Mr. Dean. if newspaper accounts ar'
correct, you don't believe in eithc- spiritual
or physical regeneration by water MhoE
upon The apostle of dirt shambled away.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29
BUDGET OF FUN.


They were sitting side by side,
And she sighed, and then he signed.
said he: my darling idol"
And he idlcd, and then she idlei.
You are creations belle"
And she beloved, and then lac beloved
"On my soul there's such II weight,
Aud he waited, and then she waited.
Your hand ask, so old Im grown
And he groaned, and then she sroancd'
You shall have your private gig
And he rirylcd, and then she Sig2!ed.
SAID She: my dearest Luke"
And he looked, and then she looked
IN have the, il thou wilt.
And he wilted and then she "lltc"'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

An Erie county Pennsylvania, granger in
CURED of "A wur"n whether she had seen any
thing of a biz ed heitcr with star on lis
forehead and ro, white feet. She said she
had not but T. It there was bull up there
answering til, escriptiOn. That's her, said
lie modest g ger
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

4 young gentleman got neatly out OF fine
scrape with his intended. She taxed him
with having kissed two young ladies at some
marty at which she was not present. lie
owned up to 1t, but said that their united ages
only made twentyone The supplemented
giri thought of ten and eleven, so laughed of
her pou,' He did not explain that one was
nineteen and the other two years NJ age
Wasn't il aTtfuli
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

"Ahn said teacher-"ah. Caroline Jones,
what 90 you think you would have been
without your good father and pIous mother ;"
~ suppose, mum" said Caroline, who was
very much struck with the soft appeal, II
sUppose. mum, as should ha' been a horph.
Ing
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

"Chlldren," sad a country minister ad-
dressing "A Sunday school, why are we like
flowers? VIVA do we have that flowers hayc:'
AID a small boy in the infant class, whose
.reath smelled of vermifuge, rose up ana
made relpy, Worms" and the minister crept
-7-der the pulpit chair 10 hide his emotion.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

\ young man intended to offer up his
heart, hand and fortune on New Years day,
but the servant said the young lady was not
receiving, and he look them back.-N. D. Re
g)yjIic1y
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

mo, sir" said a weary looking man on .
street car to an individual by his side. Il
wouldn't marry the best woman alive. I've
been dry goods clerk too long for that
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

II was Ben Franklin who introduced
broom corn culture into this country. But
thousands of suffering husbands would pre-
fer TO see the man who invented broom
handlcE-NOrristOHn Werdld.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

1T IS all very well for you, my dear; but
waen my husband grumbles and says, Why
don't smart myself up in the fashion, tells
hun beauty unadorned don't want no adorn
rnprtsN
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

A good book and good woman are excel
leat things for those who know how to ap.
p-eciate their values. There are men, how
ever, who judge both from the beauty Of the
covering.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

In some of the interior towns milk has
gone up five cents quart for the winter, but
thanks to our excellent system OF waterworks
mi.kmen here retail at old rates.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

ooh, we don't mind the fourth story, said
an Ohio Congressman's wife N choosing
Washington lodgings the other day; I'VE can
90 I'D and down in the ventilatOr.'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

HIS FIRST DUTY,-Atlanta Constitution
Jake saw an old acquaintance by the name
of Amos on the street the other evening and
accosed him:
"Why, Amos whar you been 50 long,
amt seed you fur long ume!p
"Tse been down de country fur two weeks
to ny bruddcr house"
"Wcll, can't you come down to my house
tonight? | wants to han a good long talk
wld YOU bout the pliterkil slcherwashun"
I'D be mighty pleasure to do so, Jake
but yer see, ole teller, desc here's hog KILN
times and meats lynn round regardless o
de perlitikil condishun Oh affairs, an eff
niger don't lay in some Of dem perwissrn'
desc nights, he's gwine to smell the grabeyare
fore de next leCtlon?
"Den III skuse you till yore meats al IN
SAID Jake.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

"a woman in our neighborhood,' says 3
correspondent, has just taken the veil II
belonged to some one else, so that she VIII
be secluded for two years
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

The President has 10 ear fo- music, and the
carelessness with which he used to take Dab
cocks flute TO rake she fire with was CON
slant menace 20 their triendship.-Bf0ohty
i5guS.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

Detroit policemen don't seem to be very
good markSmen. II want you either to hit
me or stop making such blamed racket
sad thief IN that city at whom a policeman
was shooting
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

An Iowa ed i," recently announced that a
certain patron ~ his was "thlevlng as usual
TIE word he wrote was "thriving"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

The Pope says; 4 am willing to do Nati
can for the Centennial,' and he will loar
valuable pictures
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

An old maid in Reading married tramp
because, as she said, he smelled just like an
Italian count whom she had once met and
loved
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

An Indianapolis witness testified the othe
day that he kepta fire burning IN hl' stow
all night to save matches.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

'Topsys' and Mrs. Woodhull's show bills
90. mixed on Lockport walls. This was the
combination:
90, Golly! Use so wicked
Victoria c. Woodruff,
Queen oil the Rostrnm.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

i you have a favor to ask OF man now,
be sure and shut the door after you when you
90 into his oflice.-N. o. Repu}licdR.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

Mrs Hon. Congressman Is the modes
and tasteful way the wives OF SOME Of the
members print their cards.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

A Nevada giil has sued Il man for SANDER
for saying that a PIute made tent out of II
pair Of halfworn stockings she had thrown
away.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

SCme people think Tweed i still in The
city. We think he's still, wherever he i.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

A CANDID URCuIN-"What did your
mother say my little man? Did you give
her my card asked an inexperienced young
gentlem an of little boy whose mother had
given him an invitation to call upon her, and
whose street door was accordingly opened TO
his untmcly summons by the urchln.
Eyes, sir" said the urchn quite innocently,
"and mother said, If you were not natural
born fool, you wouldn't come on Monday
morning, "A time when everybody was washin > !!
At this iuncture, mamma, with sweet
smleo f welcome, made her appearance at
the end of the hall, when, to her surprise, MIR.
Nerisopt, the visitor, bolted.
what in The world does the man mean p
inquired the mother.
Il dunno" replied the urchin; guess he's
forgot suthin'.'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

AN EMERGENCY MET.-One night recently
a clergyman of this city was called down to
the parlor at midnight to marry couple
who had Just arrived in town.
'Iwll takeyour certificate, said the parson
ave have no certificate" said the feminine
II can not marry you without certificate
from Gallagher, the register remarked the
parson.
Suppose you marry US tonight and we
bring you certificate In the morning. said
the woman.
1T will not do at ALL can not break the
law for the pleasure of any party" was the
response. $50,
Then you will not marry US tonight"
said she sharply.
NO ma am, will not"
"Well, then" SAID she-looking at the mar
-"Willlam, we will go and marry ourselves
-Ner Hdrea Register.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29
A sample Case.

Quarter lit was New Years morn
ING, He had been thinking deeply foI
, dnv or two and there was II Spartan look
on his face as he sat down 10 breakfast. lie
was unusually quiet, though he said he never
felt better in his life.
CHATTER ll.-Rlsng from the table, be
drew forth his tobaccO,boX and said 10 AIS
wife:
"Hannah, I'm going to quit the weed:
Nor
"Ycs, am I've been IL slave to the ais
gushing habit for forty years, but no" All
done with IT. Come here, Hannah,
She followed him to the door ana he hung
the box far out into the back YARD.
CHAPTER Ill -Four days had passed.
Dried pumpkin, cloves, spices, gum anu driea
beef had been chewed in place OF the accus,
toned quid The family cat had been kicked
ont of doors; the deg had fled; the hired
girls nose was up; every peddier Ill 'o"h
came to the door.
but you will stick to your resolution
won't YOU ?" asked the wife.
81 will, or die!' he replied.
CHATTER LAsT-'Twas dark. Man sneak
ed around the house-On his knees on
grass-pawed avound-fingcrs clutched
Obect-lid few open-moved his RI 5ht hand
to his mou,h-"Yum! yum! But what
fool | was''
MoRAL.-Don't chew.-DetroH Free Press
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-01-29

Our Only Terms OF suDscriPtiu".
The NEW YORK MERCURY, with Its hity'slx columns
of sterling original matter will continue to be Issued al
Eight Cents copy and sold by AL newsmen and periodical
dealers IN America. To mail Subscribers our terms Tor
1876 WILDE cash in advsnce Single copeo 800 ayea
three cpes SO; five copies els; ten copies, $50 The
marty who sends us $50 for club ten copies will receive
an additional copy free Six months subscription re-
ceiyed. Postage free.
Write plainly the of postotce, county and state
Specimen copies sent free to all applicants. Address
CALDWELL & WHITNEY,
Proprletors of the NEW YORK MERCURY,
No. l2S Fulton St., New York City.
~ Single copies sale and subscriptions received by
Osmaa 81 ilapeman, Ottawa, Illinois.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1876-07-27

LOUISVILLE AND NASHVILLE
AND
GREAT SOUTHERE RAILROAD
SCHEDULE.
Oily Time.
sxprses train leaves daily Except
q 5aturdays) 70 pm
n ali train leaves daily Rt.-......-...ll:l 10 AN
Accom- modation train leaves daily except
sunday at 500p.m
Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars On all night
Z aink
For tickets or information apply at
Ticket lHice, No. SS7 Main Street,
CORNER MADISON,
JOHN T. FLYNN, Supt Memphis Div.
JAMES SPEED, Ticket Agent.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1876-07-27
PRESIDENTS ISLAND.
Report of the Grand Jury and Exhibit
OfGeneraI Forrest Relative to the
Condition and Work OF
County COnVicts.

The grand jury, in its report to the
Grim n al court, speaks, among other SUBJ
Jects, OF the visit 10 Presidents Island.
The far worked there by county con-
/ victs is in good condition, six hundred
acres having been cleared and put in
cultivation, with fine crop prospects.
General Forrest Is confident that, with
the present force, he can clear up and
put In ca jGivation six Thousand acres of
land OF mat island. Ther5 is some sick
less on the island at present, aud the
conviets are not now doing full work.
From General Forests report of his
operations for The year up to July l,
1876, the following synopsis is taken,
which shows the benefits of the system
to the county:
Number OF prisoners received at the
wolkhouse for the year ending July l,
1876, pa.
Average time Of sentence and confiue-
ment, us days.
Cost to tle county for boarding 224
prisoners 175 days each, at forty cents
per day, SIS, $50.
Amount due the county for lease of
convicts for the year ending July /,
1876 IA, 7S3 days labor, at ten cents a
day, $I47S 80.
Actual amount saved to the county,
$l7, l58 80.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1876-07-27
A HORRIBLE MYSTERY.
The Body OF an Unknown MAN, Pierced
with Bullets, Found I'm the River
The COrOner's Inquest.

Yesterday morning the body o. 81 I'M
known white man was found in the
Mississippi river opposite Colonel EnOch
Ensley's plantation, twelve miles below
this city. The body was dragged ashore,
and upon examination a rope three
quarters of an inch in diameter and half
yard long was found looped around the
unfortunate mans neck, indicating that
he had been hanged and then tArown
into the river. Further examination
showed that the man had been shot in
the head and face, and the presumption
is that he had been shot and hanged and
then thrown into the river in order to
conceal the crime. The body has evil
IDENTIFY been in the water eight
or ten days, but nothing was
on it leading to its identity. All OF the
clothing on the body consisted of cot
ton flannel undershiIt, cotton socks and
a pair Of drawers. AS far as could be
judged, the man was about thirty-five
years OF age, an especial feature being
the perfect condition of his teeth. JUS
tice w. II. Hoegel being notified, held
an inquest upon the remains, and came
TO the conclusion that it was a case OF
hanging and shooting, though it ap.
pears to have been q case Of murderIy
.hooting, and an attempt to conceal the
body OF the victim in the river by means
of a stone. The gun used was loaded
with buskshot, bnt when, where, or by
whom the dreadful deed was commit
ted, is matter wrapped in mystery
that NAV never be solved.