The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1876-02-10
Miscellaneous.

us to say that no will give any man
$4,000 year who will procure for him
the position of confidential clerk OF
Mr.. AlkaI Babbitt.
Man-"Do you think it would be safe
for ME to that srees this pastureW Maid
--"Well, the old bull don't like red very
much, buff you will chalk your nose |
guess be won't attack you"
(Which accounts for the unusually
interesting paper we publish this week, )"
as the young man, temporarily left in
charge OF a rural exchange said, when
be announced his boss's absence in New
York.
David Dudley Field is not teacher
of penmanship. Recently ne signed a
legal docment, and sent it to printer
in Albany. The proof was sent TO him TO
be read, and david Dudlsy Field" In
manuscript appeared in type as "Tried
and duly fled"
"The boy at the head of the class
will state what where the dark ages Of
the world 7" Boy hssitates. Next,
Master Biggs, can you tell me what the
dark ages were?" al guess they were
cd" go to your ssats."
A young woman In Chicago put her
false teeth in a glass OF water at night,
aud in the morning found them imbcd-
ded in cbunck of solid ice. She was
late ut breakfast, the process of thawiDg
ont the teeth with bunch of matches
having been slow.
"Will your Honor please charge the
jury" asked an Arkansas lawyer at the
conclusion Of n horse thief trial. al
Will" replied his Honor, "fhe Court
charges each iuryman enc dollar for
drinks. and ak dolars extra for the
one who used the Courts hat for Il
spittoon during the first day CT the scs-
sion"
A lady remarked TO popular divine
that his sermons were little too long.
"Doa't Won think so z" said shc-'iusl
little r. "Ah. dcar madam" replied
the divine, al am afraid you don't like
rhe sincere milk Of the Word" ayes, |
do" said she "but you know ths fash
ion nowaday is condensed milk
Judge Brady, Of New York, tells this
good try lie WAS one day on the
wharf vhilean onigi ant ship was coming
IN. An Irish labUrer, who knew him,
edged alongside, and, after IA look at
tie crowded ~. r., turned 10 the Judge
and said "rell 20 what, Msther Brady,
thin fGrriners is goin to play toe divil
with US entirely. WhalIl 80 DO at all,
at all"
\ clergyman Of country village
church desired TO give notice that there
would be no service in the afternoon,
as he was going to oficiate for another
clergyman. The clerk, rs soon as the
sermon was flashed, rose Up with all
due solemily, and cried out, al am re.
quested TO give notice that there will be
no servive this afternoon, as Mr.. L. is
gong fishing with another clergyman"
The boys of Winnemucca, Nevada,
had some fun with Snowman. They !
formed a line from tho ticket office ex !
tending around near corner Each |
asked The price of admission, and when /
being told that it was fifty cents, shook ,
his head, said it was too dear, retired, /
and fell in at the rear of the lane. This
was kept up until the Snowman, sstound-
cd By the unanimity and tho seemingly /
great number, reduced the charge, and
then every boy cleared out.
4 fellow in Kentucky ran away with
q farmers daughter and horse, and was
holly pursued. The farmer got within
close range, and fourished q revolver.
"Don t shoot, for heavens sake"
shouted the lover. al won't was the
reply "cause IN afeared I'll hit Their
hoss. Just leave Their ban and take the /
gal" The compromise was accepted by
tho young folks, who walked on 10 the
preachers house, the father riding home
on his horse.
At Saratoga, tho other day, bride
groom stepped off the cars for n m cment
and the train went off with his bride.
He followed by the next train down,
and she on the other hand returned by
the next train up, and they passed each
other on the road This operation was
repeated, each trip leaving them al fer
cnt ends of the route, until peremptorv
telegram kept the bride stationary until
her husband reached her. - NeD York /,
Commercial AdCrrtiser.
"And have you no other sons?" asked
Il cuIlous laul ~ ionIeu Olu ecs cap
tain. "Oh, yes, madam, | had one that
livcd in tho South Sea Islands for near
" q dozen years" "Really Was he
bred there and what was his tastc-the
sea or land 20 "No, madam, he wasn't
bresd-he was meat; lcsstwise the mig
gers ate him, and as for his taste the
chief said he tasted of terbaccer." The
lady walked TO another part of the ship,
and the captain smiled and took fresh
quid.
"