Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1876-02-23
That Detroit Police Court.
NOT pNK FRIEND.

NOT ONK FRIEND.
"Henry Spooner, I'm afraid that sunset
will shine uVon the bars of your prison
CELL" said the court to the dreary looking
man who next broke cover.
1t would be just my luck" whined
Henry Everything has gone wrong
with me for a month past'
You had some trouble on the market
yesterday, Henry!"
Eyes; a man called me liar and l
crushed him.
You mean you called man liar
and he kicked you clear across Bates
! sreet?''
Didn't l lick him?" demanded the
prisoner
after you were kicked" quietly con-
| tinued the court, "you went over to sa-
loon and wanted to sell your coat for
whisky"
| 81 went over and asked him for money
he owed me He wouldn't pay, and /
threw him over his vile bar among his
wicked liquors."
He took you by the neck and dumped
you on the walk" observed the court,
land then you entered grocery and fell
backwards on to six dozen of eggs. If
| l..
| opooner, I'd like to know what you call
| it."
Have got friend in this town.
asked Henry, wiping his eyes.
You may have; but what about those
eggs? Here, now, when most of US settle
our coffee with cold water because eggs
are SO high. you go and sit down on plump
| six doZen!"
Have l got friend in this ere wide
woruld!' sobbed the prisoner.
Is this the way to encourage the hens
of America, Henry Spooners Is this the
way you incite the American biddy to
| lay her level best? DID Napoleon the
First ever sit down on six dozen eggsy
| Did Peter the Great throw such insults at
the struggling poultry of Russian
viii anybody in this 'ere room lend
me ten dollars for second and halfr
asked the fearful prisoner.
No response. Not sound to break
the stiffness except the labored breathing
of an old man against whose ribs rested a
loafer's elbow.
NINETY days" remarked His Honor,
And he took seat on the saw horee,
| And he wiped n tear from his eye
| His big red nose pinted down to his toes,
| And he SAID he was awful dry.
| CUBAN sYMPATHIZER
He was a man who would have disap-
peared from sight like cast-iron had he
fallen from the dock There was fairness
there, and rotundity, and breadth Of beam
| But fairness is not wickedness. His name
was reported as John Gray, and his open
countenance had the honest look of q
watermelon patch in October
Had a fight" queried the court, as
he moved his Steele Red out of Bijah's
reach.
=" 1t wasn't fight, sir--it was a little
difficulty"
"And he got hold of your little ear with
his teeth, observe"
81 believe he did, sir, though if il was
to do over again don't think he'd want
to hurt me. We were arguing, sir, and he
got mad"
Arguing about what?'
about Cuba, sir"
"What is Cuba to you9" asked his
Honor, sharply. "Do you own any
sugar plantations in Cuba-are you in.
terested in the Royal Havana lottery swim.
dleg'
II believed that Cuba should be free,
sir" replied the prisoner, "while the
other man couldn't agree. was never
in Cuba, yet l deeply sympathize with her
struggling patriots"
Sympathize with your struggling
grandmother exclaimed His Honor.
You just mind your own business and
let Cuba mind her'sl You don't know
but that all Cuhans ought to he hanged
and if you want to do anything for her
load up your shot gun and go over there.
This squatting down in saloon, showing
your feet over the stove and creating row
over something that you know nothing
about is reprehensible. I've a good mind
to fine you fifty dollaisw
please don't--I'll let Cuba 60 to grassl'
en;reated the prisoner.
On his solemn promise to hunt around
for a job OF work and never to draw a
prize in the Havana lottery he was al
lowed to depart. Detroit Free Press.