The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-05-10
The Champion Liar.

IA Lie OA1dnp1OAA AlaFs
! One evening when The winter
blasts moaned sadly across the street
corners. and the captains of the ferry
'bboats wore anxious looks, seven or
Eeight vessel owners and stlaid up'a
lake captains sat around q cheerful
| base-burner in q saloon near the riv-
| er. After the usual amount OF growl.
| ing about the weather. one of them
htold a story. There might have becn
an ounce Of truth in it, but the crowd
/ felt certain that the ounce was Offset
by twentyfour pounds of the lawful
est kind'' of lying. Therefore a Sc
cond man told a story to beat it, and
then third man beat the second.
When the fourth man started out he
said: 'Gentlemen. have also seen
tough. times. When 1 was sailing
the schooner Fortune, forty wears
ago, two of us were swept overheard
in a storm on Lake Erie one black
night. A hatch cover went with us.
and it so happened that we both
clutched It. 1t was not large enough
to support two. / was captain-he
sailor; / had a family-he had
none. l shouted to him to quit his
hold, and when he would not. + >
reached over, clntched his throat
and held or till his fingers loosened.
and he went to the bottom of the {
lake!' 1t was twenty miles offPoint
Betsy, and with a shrill, wild shrek.
which yet fingers in my ears. the
poor wretch went to his death! Nav
the Lord forgive me!' a4a g 90 =
With his chair tilted against tba
wall, lahky, .sunfowerish chan had
been nodding his head rioht and
left, as if sleeping. AS the captainss
narrative was concluded, the stran-
ger rose up and solemnly said: :ss b
81 am that man
The crowd looked at him in aston
ishment, and he continued: ..5 -
81 landed on Point Betsy next
morning in time for breakfast. and
swore solemn oath that I'd lick
you for choking me. if I1had to wait
hundred years to do it!''
"You can't be the man." renlied
the captain, looking euspiciously at
the fellows big fists; ''it. was forty
years ago." .aa.ig5
81 know it was, and for forty years
have been aching to lick you out
of your boots !" a -
The captain had lied. but he didn't
want to own it, and he said: a
"That sailors name was Dick
Rick"
"Kerrect!'' bowed the stranger.
'that's my name -
"But he. was taller than you..'i
Being in the water. so long that
night, / shrunk just foot !' was the
cool rejoinder. 9
well, | know you can't be the
man." replied Che captain. .29sea
81 am the man, and now 7 am go
ing to maot you to pulp! No man
it pc ..ii - Co92 t7e q 81 q
He sailed in and upset the cap
tain, but was their set upon by the
whole crowd. He got into the eve
of the wind and hung there for a
time, but presently he paid off a
little, got the wind on his quarter,
and went at it to lick ten times his
weight in old liars. He was a very
ambitious man, and those who conld
get out doors got outs and those who
couldn't offered him q gallon of
whisky to come to anchor. He furl-
ed his sails on this understanding,
and as be set his glass down for the
third drink he wiped his bleeding
ear and rnmarlypd -
'iWhen man tries to sacrifice me
in order to save HIMSELF he don't
know who he's fooling withl'' li
He was the biggest liar of them
all. bntshe made the most out of it.