davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05
A Young Man Wants Advice.

1t was the second time he had accompa.
MED the young lady home from one OF
those little social parties which are gotten
up to bring fond hearts step nearer to
each other.
When they reached the gate she asked
him if he wouldn't come in. He said he
would, and he followed her into the house.
1t was calm, still night, and the hour
was so late that he had no fear of seeing
the old folks. Sarah took his hat told
MN to sit down, and she left the room to
take OFT her things. She was hardly gone
before her mother came in, smiled sweetlv.
and dropping down beside the young man,
she said:
" / always did say that if a poor but
respectable young man fell in love with
Sarah he would have my consent. Some
mothers would sacrifice their daughters
happiness for riches, but | am not one of
that class"
1he young man gave start of alarm.
He didn't know whether he liked Sarah or
not, and he hadn' dreamed of such thing
as marriage.
"She has acknowledged to me that she
loves you" continued the mother, "and
whatever is for her happiness is for mine"
The young man gave two starts of alarm
this time, and he felt his cheeks grow pale.
~ haven't" he stammered. when
she said:
Oh, never mind. know you haven't
much money, but of course you'll live with
me. Well take in boarders, and I'll risk
but that we'll get along all right"
1t was bad situation. He hadn't even.
looked love at Sarah, and felt that he ought
to undeceive the mother.
81 hadn't no idea of-of" he stammered.
when she held up her hands and said:
u know you hadn't but its all right.
With your wages and what the boarders
will bring in we shall get along as snug as
bugs in rug"
But, madam, but-but-"
"All ask is that you be good to her.
interrupted the mother. "Sarah has a
tender heart and a loving nature, and if
you should be cross and ugly it would break
her down within week."
The young mans eyes stood out like
cocoanuts in show window, and he rose
up and tried to say something. He said :
"Great heavens! madam, can't per-
nit"
" Never mind about the thanks" she in.
terrupted. ~ don't believe in long court |
ships myself, and let me suggest an early
day for the marriage. The llth of Sep
tember is my birthday, and it would be nice
Tor you to be married that day."
But-but-but," he gaspea.
"There, there, I don't expect any speech
IN reply" she laughed. "You and Sarah
TX it up tonight, and I'll advertise for
swelve boarders right away. I'll try to be
model mother-in-law. l believe am
good tempered and kind hearted, thoueb
did once follow young man hundred
niles and shot the top of his head off for
'greeing to marry Sarah and then jump.
ng the countyW
She patted him on the head and sailed
'ut, and now the young man wants advice.
lie wants to know whether he had better
'et in the way of locomotive or slide off
he wharf.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

A young lady dressed in much false hair
was warbling at the piano, and when her
mother summoned her to assist in some
household duties, her rosy lips opened
poutlngly and snapped out, go, do it your
self? And then went on singing, Kind
words can never die
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

A breeder of poultry writes Every
spring procure quantity of cedar boughs.
and scatter them plentifully in and aronnd
the hen house. This is all that is neces.
sary' as the odor of the cedar keeps away
hce' This remedy is cheap, simple and
effective, and is well worth trying by all
who have hens to care for.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

An eminent physician of Western city
says he has cured ninety-nine out of every
hundred cases of scarlet fever by giving
the patient warm lemonade with gum ara
bic dissolved in it. A cloth wrung out in
hot water and laid upon the stomach should
be removed as rapidly as it becomes cool.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

The London Spectator says that there is
hardly town in England which is not
settlns up or thinking of getting up its
spelling bee. 1t adds that butchers bows
are spelling down university gradutes and
even Journalists, which quite repeats the
American experience.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

Uet Brooylyn girl Thoroughly mad and
the fruits of careful religious training are
not conspicuous in the fury with which she
unships her hustle and wreck it over the
head OF her adversary.-Brooklay Arqus.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

When," he said violently, "when are
you going to pay me that bill? I've dun.
ned you till I'm tired and mad. Now.
want positive answer-when will YOU nav
ltF' BY Jove?" was the reply, "you
must take me for prophet. How can
tell?"
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

While an Iowa woman was strurolinc in
the water, and likely to drown, her hus-
band yell-d out; New bonnet-swim for
lie andshe kicked out and safely reached
the shore.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

The harbingers of Spring-robbins and
Italian organ-grinders-have arrived. and
are carolling their lays. The Law Of the
former is eggs, and the latter is getting of
stamps.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05
Life a Failure.

a red-headed gaunt, osseous LOOKING
youth, most Of whose flling-out had settled
into his feet and hands, was seen to an.
proach the river at the foot of Magnolia
street, one afternoon recently, with a pair
OF brand new skates in his hands. He sat
down on the dock and contemplated alter.
nately the frozen surface of the river, the
geological formation of his number lis
and then the silver shining runners in his
hands. His cogitations resulted in an
attempt to fasten the skates upon his feet
IN which he eventually succeeded.
In another minute he had climbed ont
on the ice. 1t was evident that this was
his first appearance on that treacherous
stage. lie took few steps, and then his
right leg seemed to refuse to obey orders.
1t slipped off to one side on its own hook.
leaving the rest of the body to take care
OF ITSELF He set his right leg firmly in the
Ice, and tried to reduce the rebellous riobt
to submission. The struggle was brief,
thrilling and Unsuccessful. It terminated
IN his sitting down upon the ice as if he had
spite against it. The shot struck bv his
'scA'attc rhomni--(see Gray's Anatomv)-
yielded as if hit by pile-driver, and some
spectators of the performance were horror
struck to see him shut up like iackknife.
and his auburn head and steelclad bao1s
disappear together through the hole in the
ice.
Some one seized a pikepole, and SHOWING
II IN after him, caught his garments and
pulled him forth from the icy wave.
They rolled him over barrel until ba
came too, and then took him to his board |
ing house, where they shaved his head. nut |
a hybllster behind his ear, and frescoed the |
rest OF his body with mustard plasters
They did intend to pierce his ears and give
MN bottle of Vinegar Bitters, but he said
he was feeling better now, and thew
desisted.
After they had gone, he turned over and
said to the doctor, wearily:
I'm going to live, amt I?'
"Oh yes, replied the doctor, cheerfullv
. Gull be around again in day or two"
I'm so sorry" said the patient SADLY"
WlV?" asked the doctor in surprise,
" Because this world is a vale of tears
anyhow, and the sooner any man gets out
d 1t who hain't no more sense than to buv
pair of So skates and try to learn to skate.
uSt to please girl who wears false teeth
md " jute switch, the better he'll be off,
And then he turned his face to the wall
md wept
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

AT a little gathering the other evening
somebody asked a man if he was fond of
opera. He said he was, passionately. He
always liked that part where the lady rides
around and jumps through the hoops.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

senator Matt. Carpenter says that this
government must be run more economi.
oally, so he has given up wearing susnen.
ders. Pm
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

:" Don't you think" said husband in .
mild form of rebuke to his wife, "that
women are posed by the devil? Eyes y
was the answer, Gas soon as they are mar.
ried." mar
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

You are brilliant and versatile bou.
quet OF loveliness," he said, with voice
that was low and soft, and in return she
warbled, "Dry up, George, you've said
enough"
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

Among Mrs. Belknap's assets are thirty
na's ana nonnets from Paris. They don't
stack up high enough to hide her husbands
disgrace. ''D''''1O
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

When two women in family are trving
10 tell the same thing at the same time. If
Is an suspicious opportunity for the men
folks to vanish.-Danbury Ne,os
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

What did you give for that horse, neigh.
Dorr My note" "Well, that was
cheap"
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

What do cats have which no other
animal has Kittens.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

The man who had project on foot went
to corn doctor.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

There is man in Oregon who never saw
q woman. He is blind -"
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

NOT IN STOcK.--Three persons were
brought up at police court, a short time
ago for disturbances at an inn. A part of
the charge against them was the order given
by them for supper. Solomon took his
seat hrst' placed his hands upon the table,
and issued the following:
Waiter, bring me dish of fried mill.
stones, and two church steeples, cold, with
out sugar
George next gave his order:
A pint of town pumps, done brown.
with spoon in it,"
Stevens was next on the list, and ordered
as follows
Landlord, bring me a quart of station
clerks, two fried contractors, and a boot
jack"
Mr., Driver came last, and made the
following request:
Landlord, bring the Thames Tunnel.
stuffed with onions, and a pint of South
Sea bubbles, warm without"
The simple landlord, after considering a
minute, merely answered:
" hain't got 'em, gentleman
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

An ODD WAGER.-Jones, who is very
small man, bet Smith, who is ton man.
that he could carry him twice around the
hippodrome. A large number of ladies
and gentlemen attented to witness the pro.
ceeding.
Now, Smith, am ready. Take off
your Clothes"
What strip myself? You don't mean
it?o
" bet to carry you, but not particle of
your clothes. Come, let's proceed. 1t
won't do to disappoint these ladies and
gentlemen"
But Smith was inAexible. He blushed
at the bare thought of showing himself in
the thin costume of Venus emerging from
the waves. So the referee decided that
Jones-had won the bet.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

They LOVE TO WALK.-Colonel Fornev
writes from London that an English woman
thinks nothing of 20 mile walk in a dav.
and he has two valued and by no means
juvenile friends, and gentleman and his
wife, who think lightly of footing it TO
the Crystal Palace, Sydenham, which is 20
miles away. In a word the English love
their walk as they do their dinner. It is a
part OF their life, and they cannot and will
not do without it. l heard of an English
man who was condemned to be hung, and
whose greatest regret during his imprison-
ment was that he could not take his "con-
stitutional" This habit of walking makes
most English men and women Indifferent
to what we call comfortable fires, and as to
stoves, they consider them unhealthy, and
they are rarely found in their homes.
They laugh at us when we ask for extra
blankets, and shrug their shoulders,
evidently thinking us somewhat effeminate.
to complain of chill the existence of
which their stronger constitutions and
weather-worn skins cannot recognize.
Smyrna times., 1876-04-05

Ana parading up and down the depot
with the big satchel under her arm. her
eyes wore look of proud triumph.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
Rristow,s Small Potato Trick.

WASHINGTON, April 3 3-Bristow's order
to custom houses and postoffices to shut up
shop on receipt of the circular was the
result of a cabinet council He presented
the facts, and it was decided that as the
money had run out and the appropriation
committees had not set aside any moneys
for current expences of the public depart
ments, they must be suspended until
money is provided The responsibility of
this condition of things lies with last wear S
appropriation committee. They did not
estimate correctly, and the law does not
admit any outlay not specifically provided
in the estimates. AS the case stands,
there will be great disturbance in all
large cities where postofice and custom
business will be brought to stand-still.-
The Republicans are rather pleased at the
condition of affairs, They argue that the
country will in its evaporation charge the
responsibility upon the bungling misman-
agement and ineficiency. In their wrath
the people who find their mail affairs all
awry will not stop to reason as to the last
years committee, and the Democrats will
have to bear the blame.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
llinois, Friday, April z. 1876.


The body Of A. E. Dunn did not arrive
to-day and perhaps will not until to-mor
row morning.
The Odd Fellows soiciable, last evening,
at the hall of Manufacturer Lodge, was
an enjoyable affair, and largely attended
Rev. w. NJ. Collins will preach on Sun
day morning at the NJ E. church. Sub
ject: Articles of religion of the Metho-
dist church.
Deacon j. S Richards, who has been
for the last IL years one of the school
trustees Of this township. will be candi-
date for reelection on Saturday. He is
one of the best men in Moline.
1t is stated upon good authority that the
election tor school director, in district No.
| /, which occurred On Saturday, will be
declared null and new election ordered.
?. .inted tickets will be used at the new
election.
| There will be an election tomorrow for
one school trustee of district No. II. j.
Stewart, whose term expires, will be can
ddate for reelection. He will meet with
lively opposition. The school district
troubles will figure in this contest.
/ Work is suspended in the foundry and
blacksmith departments of Deere q Co.'S.
works to-day on account of the breaking
of the counter shaft that runs the fans.
1t is expected that work will be resumed
tomorrow.
Hartzell, the Swede who was placed in
the lookup yesterday was released to day.
When last seen he was looking up security
for the S. fine imposed by Police Magis-
trate Swander. Officer Olsen had to
knock down Hartzell couple of times be
fore he got him to the calaboose. He is
the worst customer in the town.
At the city election to be held tuesday,
April 18TH, the following persons will act
Judges and clerks at the various voting
places: lst. ard.-Andrew Lind, Alfred
Darling, Peter johnson, John Gault,
) George d. Wittick. End Ward.-A. B.
) Hull, A. f. Perkins, Henry Kahn, Fl. L.
Bullen. Jonathan Huntoon. 3rd. Ward
J. II Jasper, Z. }. Kneberg, n Chester,
James McBurney, Wm. Moore. 4th.
Ward-J. d. Long, S. L. Jones, c. A.
: Wheelock, George Edwards, j. W.Morey.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
Rock Island, ]
TELEGRAPHIC.
Photographed 10 the Rock Island Argus.
/ CHICAGO WHEAT GAMBLER AB-
sCoNDs.
Great Excitement Among the "Bulls'' and
ssBears.''

CHICAGO, April IA sensation was
produced on the board of trade this morn
morning when it was discovered that
Frank Camblos. member of the board,
had Withdrawn his account from bank
and had absconded leaving about $4,000
to 100000 bushels Of wheat unprovided
for. He has been bull, and bought
largely during the recent rise so that the
loss on the whole amount is 2 to 8 cents
per bushel The decline which has oc-
CURED of late alarmed him and it is sup
posed he has gone to California with what
money he had The members who lost by
this transaction were obliged to throw a
large amount Of wheat on the market
which occasioned rapid decline.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
NERVOUS DEBILITY.

a depressed, irritable state OF mind
q weak, nervous, exhausted feelings
NO energy or animation; confused
head, weak memory, often with de-
bilitating, involuntary discharges. The
consequence of excesses, mental overwork or
indiscretions. This NERVGCS DEBILITY
finds q sovereign cure in HUMPHREYS
HOMEOPATHIC SPECIFIC, No. as.
1t tones up the system, arrests di>chA er dispels
the mental gloom and desponden.. M rejuve-
mates the entire system. 1t is penectly harm
less and always efficient. Price IS, for Q package
Of five boxes and large q vial Of powder, which
is important in old serious cases; or 81 Der single
box. Sold by ALL Druggists, OF sent by mail
on receipt Of price. Address HUMPHREYS
SPECIFIC HOMEOPATHIC MAVCINR co.
No. 502 BRoApwAy, II. Y.
eFSee large advertisement.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
CONSUMPTION CAN BE CURED.
SCHENCK's PULNoNIC SYRUP,
SCHENCK's SEA WEED Tonic.

SCHENCK's MANDRAKE PILLS.
Are the only medicines that will cure Pulmonary
Consumption.
Frequently medicines that will stop a cough will
ccasion the death of the patient; they lock up the
liverstop the circulation of the blood hcmorrhage
follows and in fact they clog the action OF the very
or ans that caused the coHgh,
Liver Complaint and Dyspepsia are the causes
of Two thirds of the cases Of Consumption. Many
persons COMPLAIN OF dull pain in the side, con-
stpatOn, coated tongue, pain in tie shoulderblade
feelings of drow-iness and restlessness, the food,
lying heavily on the stomach, accompanied with
acidity and belching up Of wind.
These symptoms usually originated from dsor-
dered cOndi ion of the stomach.o torpid liver.
Persons affected, II they take one or two heavy
colds, and if the congh in these cases be suddenly
checked, will find the stomach and liver ciogged
remaining torpid, and inactive, and almost before
they are aware the lungs are mass OF sores, and
ulcerated, the re- ult of which is death.
Schenck Pulmonic Syrup is an expectorant VIII jct
does not contain OPIUM or anything calculated Il
check cough suddenly.
Schenck's Sea Weed Tonic disso!yes the food
mixes with the gastric juices OF the stomach, aids
digestion and creates ravenous appetite.
When the bowels cOstIve, skin sallow, or th
symptom otherwise OF q bilious tendency ,Schenck'
Mandrake Pills required.
These medicines are prepared only by
J. FL. SCHENCK & SoN
NE corner Sixth and Arch SITS. Phlla
And are tor sale by all druggists and dealers
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07

THE WAKEFIELD EARTH CLOSET
advertisement which will be found in
another column, is without doubt tie most
ingeniously constructed consrivance for the
use of Dry Earth yet offered to the public
Every family in the land should have an
Earth Closet Besides the comfort and
convenience which the afford they are con-
tinnal sourse of profit to every cultivator
Of the soil. 1t is impossible to describe
here the peculiarities of the above closet
but to every one interested the company
will send one of their elegantly illustrated
phamphlets, on application, Be sure and
write tothem-The Rrenologicdl Jonrnal
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07

CRoUP-Almost daily We are called ur-
ou to chronicle the death of some loved
one. by this dreadful disease, which often
takes its victim away from loving parents
with only very short notice Every mother
should supply herself with Goes Cough
Balsam, for it i, no exaggeration To say it
will cure ninety nine cases in every Que
hundred If taken in season There are very
many m"Ihers who will tell you they owe
the life of some dear one to this wonderful
medicine. Que very desirable quality is,
that it leaves no bad effect, it being per
iecty harmless. In eases IF cough,
hoarseness, or tickling in the throat it has
no equal
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07

A WARNING TO CoNsUMPTIvEs. COP
Liver Ou.-"The well known firm of
HEGMAN & CO., of New York City,
were the first who introduced in this coun
try the PURE and UNADULTRATED COP
Liver OL." The established reputation
of Hegman & Co., as skillful and conscien-
tious pharmaologists, is sufficient guar
antee of itself of the purity of medicine
prepared by them. and in their prepara-
ton of Cod Liver Oil, they to-day prepare
it in the same careful method as they have
done for the past twenty-five years. 1t is
important for invalids to use Cod Liver Oii
With Hegman & Co.'S trade mark. and not
the Inferior mixtures sold under the
pseudonyms of Cod Liver Oil.
Hegman's Cod Liver Oil can be obtained
at all 6rst-class druggists throughout the
state.-C Chicago Times.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07

IMPORTANT INFoRMATIoN.-R Reader if
you prize your health, aud use. or con-
template using any article for restoring or
dressing the hair, avoid the numerous
hair preparations made from lead, sulphur
and other metallic poisons, and send for a
pamphlet giving directions how to detect
them, and which accompanies the Egyptian
Hair Coloriug which is the only safe and
eifectual article used, as Shown by the re
port Of the Metropolitan Board OF Health
No poisons; no stains. Is net dye
Address Geo. VIM Southwick. proprietor
New York, 2. Q. box loS.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
REPUBLIcAN TICKET DEFEATED IN
GEHESEO.
Levi Waterman Elected Supervisor

GENEsEo, ILL.,. April 6.-Both our city
and township elections are over. We
doubt if there has been so much feeling
exhibited for several years past as there
was at the township election on Tuesday,
The feeling first exhibited itself on Satur-
day in the election of the board Of educa-
tion by false statement which got circu-
lated, resulting in defeating the re election
of two of the best members of the board,
viz; Wells and Kendall, the issue being
a new school house or not. We need
more school room badly, there being be-
tween 70 and 80 scholars in each room, and
constantly increasing Mes5rs Wells and
another school house, but some of the
largest property holders fought against it
with the above result.
On Saturday night the Republicans held
a caucus, which proved anything but har
monious, but finally nominated a ticket
with W. Sanford as supervisor; he being
an old and highly esteemed citizen, they
| felt confident the ticket would win, but
bad blood had been stirred up, aud on
Monday night a citizens caucus was h,ld,
which uomilated Levi Waterman, presi
dent of the farmers national bank, as
supervisor, +. &. Gilbert, assistant super
viso. Nearly 100 votes were polled, re-
sulting in the election of the citizens ticket
throughout. The vote against building a
new court house in this (Henry) county, is
very heavy, as was also the vote against a
public library in Geneseo The people cry
hard tunes and no extra taxation, and
voted that way throughout the entire
county, The same old officers were re
elected in the city election exceptin in the
second ward, who elected Geo. G. Mowry
for aldermen, in place OF Lorenzo Hitch
cock. The vote on school trustee anC
board of education is fully double that u
any ether year for the last ten years.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07
STANDARD REMEpIEs.-I, is fact we

STANDARD REMEDIES L; is a fact we'll
known to all our readers that a few pro-
prietary medicines have achieved repu-
tation as standard remedies, aud occupy a
place in every well regulated household,
almost as univer sally as the bible and the
family almanac. Foremost among these
is the Merchants Gargling Oil, manu-
featured by the well known c)mpauy of
that name at Lockport, n va sover-
eign remedy for mau aud beast, and one
which has wrought hundreds OF we'll
tested cures. We need hardly say here
what the patrons of the Blade fully under
stand-that we do not make practice OF
praising irdiscriminately the numerous
compounds offered to the public, but since
we believe the ''Gargling Oil'' TO be a
carefully compounded and efhcacious rem
edy, we do not hesitate to say as much. -
| Toledo Ohi0) Blade
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-04-07

THE GRAND UNION. =" This hotel has
gained a wide popularity both on account
of its eligible stuatiou-it being directly
opposite the Grand Central Depot-and
the excellent manner III which it is kept
By stopping at this house, guests save the
heavy expense of carriage hire and ex-
prossage, baggage being carried to and
from the depot without charge. 1t is first
class in every respect, and yet the rates of
charges are lower than at any other first
class house in the city. 1t is conducted
upon the European plan"