National Republican., 1876-12-09
gatiaaal gepabIifas
CURIOSITY SHOP.
"A bad board is always returniug.

CURIOSITY SHOP. 3=s
"A bad board is always returning.
"A new well in oildom is named
whisky thst kills. It forty rod is a sor
Congressional motto for the winter
Oh, let us be lawful. --.-..--,
Many wholesale toy men in New York
"A Liverpool vessel had an owl come
| on board In mid-oessa,
I'm New Orleans you csa see cake
Most Of the srms in use in Turkey
came from this country,
"A cloud of Licks arises ia Californis
to claim the dead mans 51catsa .si1 -.-..4 =
The high-toned Gotham bellies now
write their bitsst-sour In s.fTer ink.
"A Jsnesville couple poor tat prolific,
have named th<sx sixth boy Enough.
What q massacre By EsqufmauK near
the North Poleg It must havs been In cold blood
"A Miss Peeitcote attends school in
Philadelphia. SheH furbelos the rest Of her
The man who went iutoa saloon to
Est sn eye-opener foz1soshing haf his eye esssed
This locks serious. Turkey has or
deIsa large quantities q KrupP guns and oincn-
natl whisky. !. T-.. .'.E Il.
-Diphtheris may be cured BY kissing.
Dipht1sritie young woHsn, please keep away
from this ONCE.
/, -Solltaires are alrwell enousa in dia-
reaches 9r clusters. l.-4- :: .s5z-sI
I The funny election bet of two Nan
ticket do1s0Is . 4 tsss the io7sr shall tase dOss
tntroductoa Of printing into E3giand is to IS ces
brated in Esndon next June.
"A New York man has received patent
for an "antnal butter, protsely an fmIEoVe-
ment on theoid fashioned domestic goat
"A stenographer has bsen taken Into
Chicago theatres for rival Establishment.
( -t'Sambo, where's your master 2"
"Gone out" ssfas he left of drint t5ng yet ?" gOh
yes; he leavsof three times this zDrning"
I The great cafe at Venice (FIoridan's,
night OF day, for one hundred and fay years,
I la carving turkey in the presence Of
srargers 1t 10 o breach of etiquette 20 stop mcYJ
than twice to spit on your hands ara get q new
Why longer hesitate, Young man ?
Your chances OF wedding girl Wan glass eye
showfa '-''
What does Coed Friday mean"
| dsktu Que sca0OlDOy OF aQOtler. - ou Qa1 Def-
ter go home ,adread your 'Robinsoa CrusosI "
was the whitening reply.
Hotels everywhere are reducing their
prices, 50 tha. now i does not cost susa large
spend few days at . hotel. : q.
1t Is humilisting to young man who
has been singing his sweetest soc gs IN troneFof
house to'be told by policeman that the fsuiiy
have been absent for q week. -.
According to the advertisement of q
l dealer in theatrical UO0da tha rraddfDU q
ballet girls legs is nom sS to sla varied By the
extent of the material required. -.
Grave Joke-There is no reason why
but &C would disarranse things terribly Il thu
earth herself were TO lose her gravity.
The average pedestrian does not begin
to realize how many trap doors sare lea open in
with somebody's winter supply Of coal iT
| There has been great fire In the city
Of Jsddo. It was one OF the most destructive
which has taken place IN many years, TIN fK-
eign settlement was partially destroyed. -
-"Who," asked teacher Of her pupils,
the other day. "who rates the highest among the
ancient sages?' "Soc-ratesI'' was the iIap1lsiYe
reply Of a scholar near the foot Of the class
The time Is approaching when men
and riss with gSastly smile utoa thsiE lips an and
murder In their hearts toward the lookers-on.
Disappointed genius still cheers itself
with the reflection that, although it may never
LLe9u L0e OlLLy QelBQLS VI lAm6. cam He8ss
polo. . : : =, :. -. = 9E-GI = =
Lumber dealers have an immense
quantity Of timber at Calais. Mes which cannot,
boats loading, while there are carg0es for q hun
| dfed more. -.- III. '' - - IT
| An Iowa paper tells of a smart wife
that helped her husband to raise. seventy OF
the deor and shake broom at him when he sat
II eS"A ecAeo"l ..H...Ha
| The Rev. DR.. Storrs says the pillars
i Of the New YaSk post ofice look.as II they were
amation. ausss they're aas bsHdaSes; ane Sse only
/ porous pilasssrs.
/ "A writer in the Parenalogical Journal
advises young men who are about choosing a wife
The written aforesaid is ''govsned'' too much ~
/ his Wtfe's "chin-" go ..~ -... a.- 80
| "A society of German veterans in
Chicago about two months aSo received present
mally received BY the sociesy, with imposing esrs-
| monies, last Sunday. -sE- ..--a.#
| a pious father entered q saloon with q
horss.Nnip one night last week and Toand his
| Jacket and sent him home, and then sat dawn and
| finished the game himself
| The way il is said little Johnny,
describing rafie a. church fair, tysa see some-
| thin and you give half o dollar foe chance to
I win IT, another follow always gets Il, and they
/ never offer you yos- money back"
| Mother, have any childrepf' asked
an urchin of eisAs summers. 'Why, no! What
parent. "Becsase read to-day about children's
children" answered the acute jnyenile.
| "a great philosopher, said a public
lecturer, ''onee said that he would not for any.
thing have had money len him in his youth
| what's isst my idea, y exclaimed an aged audi.
bow" =
| 1t is told for q fact that a little fiaxen-
Il hofr hov IF rva hn had aaod ha
afternoon at the Boston Art Museum, looking up
in his mothers face, said, .If all the mammas,
when they die , turn Int mummies do all the
| Lone of the discoveries made by the
latest Arctic explorers is that the length Of the
polar night is one hundred and forty.two days
e PsSsn e "a
| tomorrow and get his money!
4 The Warsaw Geological Museum has
i received recently valuable contributions from
America, Africa and Eastern Siberia, and is now
1t counts 6l4 species Of lisns, 216 Of birds
and 900 Of reptiles and amphibians. =
--One of the discoveries made by the
latest Arctic explorers Ia that the length OF the
| polar night Is one hundred and forty-tWo days
| Nice place, this 20 walk home with a girl New
Years eve. and nnd that the old people have
ing and won't be homo tut after midnight.
Host to eligible youth: "Trust we
shall have the pleasure Of seeing you at our ball
on Thursday. You VIII meet colonel, two J.
| P's, two poets, and q Member Of Parliament
Guest: Thanks, 50 much; ont it's impossible.
am invited TO tie Tudorvilles', whore ] shall
meet gensral, six J. P.'s, no poets and lord
y She was fond of eonundrunns, and
liwhen she learned that mailer was Latin fol
woman she thought she had good one. 50 sh
. | asked her husband what was the difference be
| tween herself and mule. And as he had beel
: married several years he was too thoughtful :
| trouble her by guessing, but kindly remarked d
had never been able to see any.
NO man can be said to have sounded
the depths Of father's love till he has con
fronted in the vicinity OF .. m, the great prob
r,S whv the nare9orfc bottle is always Kept 0,
the upper len hand shslfof tns elqsst, and whether
1t is Inconsistent with moral Life to swear ct tht
person who left rocking chair and o clothes
horse between 1t and the bed. ara .ss 80
--Dr. Dio Lewis has been heard from
I again. He says no man should eat more thar
two cold mince pies Just before going to bed anC
that It Is injurious for young men TO SIT In colo
+" room with nothing on but night chemiloon
llreading dime novels until after midnight. These
llremarks have the merit Of containing more SOUND