The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-04-30
The Pictures That Are Conjurcd Up by q
Quintuple Sheet.
WHO ADVERTISE AND WHY,
Motley Groupings Of Seekers and Sought in
All Advertising Parade.
ANALYSIS OF A SUNDAY HERALD

nerve, they might at critical possibly decide
the fate Of battle If marching up broadway by col
umn Of iours the head Of the column would be at Canal
street while the extreme rear rank was still moving
past the City Hail. Such imposing force is not often
seen IN this city. Such force however IL is which
parades in column Of skies in the qunuple sheet Of
the NEw York HERALD Tho headquarters OF this
brigade OF advertisers is sight well worth seeing on
Saturdays From early morning until late at night the
individual soldiers their substitutes report tho
star duty at tho corner OF Ann street
and Broadway, at the recruiting stations uptown
and in Brooklyn, so as to DO duly placed
in tho grand Sunday parade. And, indeed, were it
possible to assemble this brigade of advertisers and
march them up Broadway fcw sights in the world
would equal It. The best show to which Barrum ever
called the attention Of wondcr-loving crowd would
suffer total eclipse Tho fairs OF Leipsic and Nizhnec
Novgorod would not approach il in variety and IN
tcrest II each individual OF this for~ carry
some appropriate symbol New York could invite tho
world TO the show thing unique in its history
II would be like epitome of the worlds daily history
In tabcauz virdnts Both sexes all ages and conditions
crafts and professions trades and handcra schemes
and devices would hero be represented The
procession would naturally DO headed by
sbcautiful boy, two and a-half months old,
with dark blue eyes, for adoption.n typifying
tuc sWoet Icsuncss VI pudding lie, auu WOuu ClOSC
with the shrunken toothiess whitc.haired venerable
form OF some infalhble Medium who "tells tho past,
the present and tho futurc for consideration him
self living sermon tho vanity OF earthly hopes
oven those OF medium Between these two ages Of
man would como all tho rest, showing, how truly,
that "all the worlds stage and all tho men and wo-
mon merely players" And yet what multitude OF
pieces they playstcrn tragedy and broad farce light
comedy and pert rawieriic and an mitabc number
OF such as can only BIO described by tho ambiguous
term, ''varicties" "rhey comet Thcy GOMEZ" is
shouted from ton thousand hroats tho dense columns
begin the march past All, hal It's not q dream!
that bears aloft s'beautul boy.n He looks with
eyes OF mild entrcay to the gaping crowd as though
say, "whcre the wealthy childless among you
Here Is chance" There to his right Is a celebrated
preacher, who will discourse upon "Scien-
tihc Revealed Religion" Close the latter's elbow
Is billiard MARKER who would give him the cue III
moment II he wanted it. That httlc man in the dark
secdy looking coat tho le OF the divine, is Wall
street broker, who will teach you how mako fortune
in stocks by what may DO termed the negative process
nrst showing you how not to do it. and charging you
Handsomely for tho Information. He has
just trodden the toes OF his left
hand ncighbor, who muttcrs tho reverse Of
prayer, painfully smiles pardon and rclapscs
into speculation to how his wifc's ewolry bill Is to
DO paid out Of the profits Of gas for he too advcr
tiscs. Just beyond these two earnest couple
OF young. comedy faces, somewhat thnned by want;
their poorly Clad but scrupulously clean;
their position in the army OF advertisers secures to
them weekly pittance scamstrcsses. Lookl
There too gaudy dressed painted beauties tho
crowd pointing to them and smiling contcmptuously
at their attire Smile on smc on These
maidons AFFORD to be laughed at they virtuous
Just beyond them there is a middle aged. respect
ablc maid, who Is tired or solitude, socits
partner for life, and carries her photograph
in her pocket. The photograph Is not hand
some She Is engaged in earnest conversation
with keen-eyed. thin-lppcd, lank individual, who
and anon whispers something quietly in her ear
She shakes her head He has made mistake. He IS
divorce lawyer. And these too, advertise Listen
There s band sent specially to represent the musical
interest They have determined to do the thing hand
somey. They have secured Niles BaIladni and Con-
trabassa, who may DO At their head in triumphal
chariot drawn by q hundred fenori de grasia all
jealous OF each other and strsiuing hopclessy tho
VI di petto What have these TO do with the even
tenor Of anythngs Never mind, they belong TO the
advertising army, and Will DO heard
MARCH osi GENTLEMEN, MARCH oS
That very fat good naturcd looking nearest the
band, with his fingers stuffed into his ears, great
dairyman He is supported on the right by lean pro-
lessor OF the volin-who ever saw fat one land on
tho left BY . dappcr French modesto who scornfuly
refuses the proncred arm Of tho milk and
buttor millionaire. mistake, madame, : mis-
take Well, he hates music Tho eddie-
aged substantial looking beyond, whom she
IS eyeing is . great dry goods merchant. who
ploys 200 hands, aud Recently pledged himself 10
the ladies TO allow the young women in his stores to sit
down when unoccupied That cheer is for him. Tho
crowd Is always favor OF humanity Friend of grcna-
dine and lupin, laco and embroidery that cheer Is
worth many advertisements in tho HERALD qrintupc
to you; besides, man, You have daughters
Here comes row Of lusty tars, singing "Isulc Bri-
tannia" "Hail Columbia" 'sThc Rcd, White and
Blue" all together. How clannish they arei They
represent tho great lines Of transatlantic and
trade and their good fellowship represents the perfect
which will day exist between their
various companies. And these, too, advertise Who
is that riding the top OF an immense hat look
ing like the incarnation Of capillary attraction sur
rounded by minor dcities OF lilo and felts Pshawi
every one knows him. lie 10 winkIng from his cyn-
drcal throne to smart little man in SNUFF colored
coat who sold him a house last week at 5000
less than was advertised for IN the
HERALD They are good friends Next to
the real estate Is gray headed farmer from Ken
lucky, who Is anxious TO find whom he has not
seen for twenty-five years Hc Is communicating his
anxiety TO German lager beer brewer, who sympa-
thizcs with him and proposes drink when the march
past rs over Hal hal ha! What an idea! There Ia
hugh pill box, surmounted by bottle OF nfallibc
stomach bers supported. as they say In heraIdry by
two roughs proper pcrsonang disease, tho other
health, the disease man looking In somewhat better
condition than the other On tho right hand OF this
original vehicle are two ladics--ono n womans
rights lecturer tho other NJ. y. Between
these stalks gaunt professor Of fencing, who secs
the point Of advertising and that he may not be focd
in his aims sticks 20 It. He 10 old member Of the
brigade. Immediately behind him comes q representa-
tive lady, portly and kind looking. She paradcs
regularly every week. She the OF two board
ing houses and invariably has 10 spare.
She smiles right and len for many thcre In tho
crowd who recognize her Tho members Of her special
corps follow Immediately behind in compact column,
NEARING ALoyr IMMATURE ALcovE,