The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1876-11-13
Written by Itself.

My life is shortly told. My first i'm.
preston wis tho sensation OF tremen.
dous but short squeeze, which instantly
awoke me into life and thought. was
now spread out to the light, and a glow
OF intelligence completely pervaded mo.
My ideas were at first new, multifarions
and confused-nations, politics, courts,
wRrs, speeches, merchandise, fightings,
feasts, marriages, ditties, poetry, etc.,
etc, mode up all my thoughts, which
were various and mixed. l lay in a
silent state Of wonder and great amaze.
ment.
soon found that I was brt one OF q
very large family, and was ushered into
this curious world at the same time.
Our whole iamil, was laid in regular
order in pile; my situation, being one
OF the first born, was particularly un-
easy, damp, and uncomfortable. I had
silent, intuitive longing wish to get
into the world, which was at last graft
fed.
Morning came, and I was carefully
folded and laid, Moses.like, in basket,
by a boy who was called the carrier, and
borne into til. street. Tho said carrier
l soon found was IN object Of interest
and desire. He was soon accosted by an
elderly looking man, with thrcadbare,
rusty breeches.
"Haye you a spare paper this morn
ing, my boyl'
"No, sir" was the short reply, and
hO trudgei on with ts, muttering:
"Not as you know on, old gripes. You
arc the same chap that promised me
some coppers for the paper the other
morning, and hain't paid me yet; you
are too stingy TO take the paper-you
won't get another from me, I guess"
My brethren were now fast leaving
me, being deposited at their proper des.
tination. At length my turn came, and
I was tucked in the crevice OF shop
door. The first sample Of the kind was
not at all alluring. | had not been long
in my new situation, when reluctant
early conner, swinging c key in his hand,
wistfully eyed ME. and casting look
about him, feloniously seized me, and
thrust me into his pocket. My rightful
owner, by virtue OF advance pay, being
i'll sight, hailed and arrested the pilferer,
and with threats compelled him to re.
linquish his prize. He entered his
store, and I soon found that I was the
first object Of his attention. After
hastily drying me by the fire, in which
process I narrowly escaped conhagra.
ton, he ran over me, and fixed his eyes
upon sales at auction, advertisements,
etc. I was then more particularly ex.
amined, and dismissed with condemna.
tion.
Nothing but foreign news-con.
gress and cabinet-love stories, and &C.
cilents by food and field. a newspaper
should be commercial report, ono side
ut least should be devoted to prices cur
reut." I was then pettishly thrown
upon the counter, but was soon in re.
QUESTION. A boy came in, with Il
Please to lend me your paper for n
few minutes, just to look at the ship
news2"
The request was reluctantly granted,
with something about the plague Of pa.
per borrowing, and determination to
stop it. Twas soon borne to a ncighbor.
ing house. The good old woman, whose
husband was at sea, eagerly sought the
ship news, hut was quite disappointed
il her search.
How negligent aud careless these
printers are," said she; "Iot n word OF
Intelligence OF the Wind Bird; they
print Of Poland aud poetry, aud flltheir
papers with advertisements, and that j.
all they care about"
Miss now took her turn. She sought
the stories, poetry, and marriages,
which in huff uu hour were all devoured
with n wouder that they put anything
else in the paper" An elderly lady
now took me, who, adjusting her spec
tacles, surveyed me- little while, aud
declared mo u "terriblo uninteresting
pnper-harlly column OF den.hs, and
not more than fifteen or twenty murders
and accidents"
III this way passed through all the
hands OF tho family, and after being well
soiled and somewhat torn by the little
oues, was sent home. For three whole
days l got no rest, but was continually
borrowed aud abused. At the end oil
this period I was supplapted by a new
face, and was then discarded nnd throwl
aside like all seIvants When they have
become useless. was, however, Agair
resuscituted, and employed rs wrap
per to some merchandise, and sent int
the country. there again became the
object Of interest, went the rounds o
the neighborhood, and was "niu'
days wonder"
am now quietly hanging up in I
shattered condition, in inrmer's kitch
en-, from which I have written this brie
memoir. I have seer much Of the world
and learned that mankind are unreason
able md ungrateful, aud that in worl,
OF great variety Of tastes and wishes
is impossible to please all.