Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1876-05-05
FACT AND FANCY.

When loafer enters the sanctum of
busy editor, and the editor says, "Glad to
see you're back" what does he mean?
If you see a man out in the back yard
mauling a carpet, don't throw slurs. You
may have to take down stove in less than
two months.
AN Illinois preacher who believed that
FIRE insurance was defying the Lord, is now
living in barn until his congregation can
find him another house-DetrOh Free Press.
Mr.. Barnum, in temperance address,
once said that he would give more for
drunkard who succeeded in business, as
public curiosity than for anything he ever
exhibited.
"Why did Pharaoh kill the boy babies Of
the Hebrews and not the girls p asks Sun
day-school teacher "Please, sir, wasn't it
because he objected to the Hebrews and not
to the Shebrews2"
An Iowa woman has kettle cast in 1913.
b ut unless that kettle was once tied to the
tail of George Washngton's dog, it doesn't
possess enough historical interest to be sent
to the centennial Vicksburg Herald.
A Virginia editor, whose paper has just
suspended, says that he entered the field of
journalism under the impression that there
we're millions in it," "And so there are,
he continued, "but they remain in it yet"
Scene in a horse car.-SeatS all occu-
pied. Lady enters. Elderly gentleman rises.
Lady-"Don't rise, beg Of you. much
prefer you should keep your seat" "Should
be very happy to accommodate you, madam,
but want to get out here
A Jersey man married five widows, aud
they were all rcd.headed The same man
was once thrown ono hundred aud fifty feet
by an express train when he picked himself
up looked around for his hat, aud remarked /:
"Well, if don't find that hat I'll make the
company pay for it,
This is not poor house Office" impeIti'
nently suggested a Rochester newspaper
clerk the other day to seedy looking indi'
vidual entering the office. And bedad, by
your looks, not an intelligence office, aither =
answered Pat. And he carried the year'
subscription away again in his pocketbook
The following statement Of the cost OF the
"big guns" Of Europe is from the London
EnBlueeT' Jne ol-lOu gun has SOsV W.
900, and the price named for the "New'
castle infants" of 100 tons, for the Italian
navy, is 100000 each. The cost Of the
Krupp monster will be 100000 or more
The latter will send ball weighing about
1900 pounds through tho air. 1t cost Sl2l
every time the Sl-tOn gun is fired.
Out of SS6O0O,000 worth of property
burned in the United States the past year
$50, 900, 900 was destroyed by incondiares
Twenty.one persons were convicted OF arson
during the year. OF the fires 3,046 wer
caused as follows, Defects, 86S matches
PA; spontaneous, 100; accidental, SIT
careessness, III; miscellaneous, 1913 un
known, 46l inoendiary and supposed ineen
diary, 39S petroleum in oil its forms, 800
William Il, Gray, the New York bon
iorger, was arraigued at the Bow stree
police court, London, Friday, and committe
for the usual Is days, after which it will
: rest with the discretion of tho British gov
0 ernment whether he shall he surrendered 0
= not. Grny's counsel have already take
steps to got for their client the benefit ofth
Q diplomatic complications in the Winslo'