The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-09-09

fo' four minutes then called up til
) cook aud said
Hold me whilo faint, Let Mari
turn the butter cakes"
By-and.by, whom came to, I sen
down to tho rum mill on the corner an,
hired an artist By the week to sit u,
nights and curse that stranger, aud civ,
inc liit occasionally in tho day.tim,
whom camc to a hard place.
All, what a miscteant he was Hi
advertisement was nothing 10 tn,
world but wicked tax .return-a str;u
OF impertiGont questions about my pri
vate affairs, occupying the best part O
four ioolscap pages OF ino pript-ques
tions, may remark, gotten up with suct
marvellous Ingenuity that the oldest mar
Ia tho world couldn't understand wha
tho most Of them wero driving at-ques
tIona, too, that were calculated to make
a rnan report about four tilnes his actua
lnome to keep from swearing to lie
looked Tor loop-hcle, but there did
not appear to bc any. Inquiry No.
covered my case as generously and at
ample as an umbrella could cover on
ant.hill
"What vera your profits. 10 1869,
from any trade, business or vocation,
wherever carried on 7"
And that inquiry was backed up By
thirteen others of an equally searching
nature, ths most modest of which re.
qulred Information as to whether | had
commitied any burglary or highway rob.
oefy, or by any arson or other secret
source oil emolument had acquired prop.
erty which was not enumerated 10 my
statement OF Income ss set opposite to 10.
quiry No |
1t was PLATO that that stranger had
oosbled mo 10 mako an ass of myself. 1t
was very. very plain, aud | went cut and
hired another artist. By working on my
vanity the stranger had seduced me into
declaring an ncome Of S2l4,00O. By
law 81 900 Of this was exempt from 10
como tax-the only relief could see,
aud it was oaiy drop iu tho ocean, At
the legal five per cent, l must pay over to
the government the appalling sum OF ten
thousand six hundred and fifty dollars,
income tax.
may remsrk, io ihis place, that |
did not do it.
| am acquaiated with a worry opuIent
man, whose house ia & palace, whose table
is regal, whose cu.lays are enormous, yet
man who has TO income, as have often
uoiiced BY the revenue ieturna; and to
him | went for advice 10 my distress
He took my dreadful exhibit Of receipts,
he put on hia glasses, he took his pen,
and presto | was pAuper It was the
neatost thing that ever was. Iio did 1t
simply By doftly manipulating the bill of
Deductions" flo set down my "sta.e,
national and municipal taxos" at 80
much ny ~iossca by shipwreck, ERE,
ETC." =. SO iDrca : ny "lossea Gu sales OF
real estate"-on 1.-Two stock sold"-on
payments for rent of homestead
"repaira improvements. interest"--on
previously taxed salary as an officer OF
tho United States army, navy, revenue
service" and other things. He got as.
tonlshing deductions" out of each and
every QUO OF these matters-each and
every ono Of thom. And whom he was
done he handed mo the paper, and | cav
at glanoo that during the year 1869 my
income, in the way Of profits, had been
one thousand t,oO hnadyed and Gfy dol.
lars and forty cents.
Nov" said he, "lhc thousand dollars
is exempt by law. What you want to do
is to go and swear this document in and
pay tax on the two hundred and lity
iollars."
While he vas making this speech his
little boy Willie lifted a two dollar green
back out Of his vest pocket and vanished
with it, and ! would b.t anything that If
any stranger wera to call On that little
boy to morrow, he would make false
-ctufn of k,s innomo
"Do you said / do you always
work up the deductions af,er thi, fash.
on in your case. sir 7"
h''i' SuOulH say ~ II IL meleo |
or the eleven Saving clauses unier the
lead of Deductons' should bo begearcd
very year TO supper! this hateful aud
wicked, this extortionste and iyrannical
government.
This gentleman Stands away up among
he very best Of tho solid men Of Buffalo
tho men of moral weight, Of CONNER.
'ial integrity. Of uuimpeaehsblo eooial
potlessness--and so bowed to his eK.
maple. | went down 10 tho revenue of.
Ice. aud uniaT he accusing eyes of my
I'd vi'itor, [ stood up aud swora to lie
ttc' lie fraud after fraud, vila,ry after
'llaicy, tlil my immortal soul was coatcd
inches and iuchas thick with perjury. and
81 self re-yco; gone forever and ever.
But wha, ofit3 It is nothing mere
han thousands Of the highest, sni rich.
ST. end proudost, AMI most respected,
onored and courted men 10 America DO
very year. Aad so | don't care.
IN not ashamed shall simply. for the
rosent, talk little and waar fte-proof
loves, lest / fs' ia'o certain habits ire.
ocably