Wilmington daily commercial., 1876-10-07
YisiIinp.


There are three essentials, says I'll. H.
in recent article, which must he under
stood and acted on before visits and visiting
will ever fulfill the ideal of the pleasure
they ought to be and to give. First, moth
ing must be done for parade or show. No
matter how rich man may be, if he sets
on his dinner table one thing either to be
eaten or to be looked at simply for show,
1t is challenge and an offense. OF course,
nobody is go absurd as to maintain that the
rich must make dinners of herbs because
the poor cannot afford stalled oxen. A
very feast OF good things, both for the eye
and the palate, can be set out without any
attempt at or any suggestion OF mere pa
rade, mere display.
There ara plenty OF ways in which man
may advertise ills wealth. if he likes, with
out dong it ii his hospitality. To do it
there, or even seem to do it there, is the
very esseree of vulgarity and real lnhospl-
tality. To avoid by every possible device,
and by the utmost tact, the bare suggestion
that the guest is the recipient, and not the
conferer Of favors, is the first principle of
entertainment To ask a man to your
house, and treat him as if he were an IN
spector OF wines or tax-gatherer on silver,
is piece of very coarse stupidity. and to
make grand difference between the way
you live when you are alone, and the way
| you live when you have friends under your
| roof, is surely a very direct way OF injuring
ones own personal standard Of taste.
The second essential of the ideal visit and
visiting IL, that the host, not the guest, set
the limit of the visit. There is 30 very false
a notion in this country on this point that il
almost seems as if it must spring out of a
national lack of dlrectness and sincerity.
| Everybody knows when he asks a friend &c
| his house, now long he wants them to stay,
| There may be fifty reasons combining tc
make him very glad Of visit three day:
| long, and very much inconvenlenced by one
| longer Honest people ought to find uC
difficulty in saying this, and honest people
take no offense aJ hearing it. This does
awsy with all possibility of misconstructior
on either side, with all uncertainties as tc
| welcome. with all fears of intrusion.
A third essential of ideal visits and visit
ing is that there be on the part of the hos
no strained effort to entertain or amuse the
guest; on the part of the guest no expecta'
ton Of being amused or entertained. Sim
ply to meet for the interchange of goodwill
and cordiality, the usual current of life 60
ing on undisturbed, the habits of the family
femaining unchanged-that is the true so
cal visit. The man who knows how tc
''drop IN" of an evening, draw his chair up
to the hearth as if it were his own, and fal
into the usual routine II the household as
if he were a member of it-how welcome he
always is the man who comes to stay un
der your roof for season, and who, without
being intrusive or familiar, makes youifee
that lie IL ''at home with you, and is con-
tent in his usual fashion OF occupation
how delightful guest he is
And the 1, uae-aL how few of them J
into which one can go for day or week anc
feel eure that the family routine is in nc
wise aHe:ed. tue family comfort is in nC
wise iez-ened, but, on the contrary, in
creased by his presenee-what joy it is tC
closs their thresholds What good har
bors OF refuge they are to weary wander
ere.
When the world mends its ways in these
regards, when these essentials are fulfilled
the loet art OF conversation will revive; hos
ptslity viii be worthy the name; anC
hou. loliiug and housekeeping become a
they ought to be, tile greatest pleasure
Irei can haze -" Hints 70 Guests an
Hosts