Smyrna times., 1876-06-14
WHOLE NO. 1,I03.

a gentleman, on entering his household
the other day, was agrcebly surprised on
being informed by his wife that she had
health lift in the parlor. He stripped him
self for practice, but was taken down a peg
or two when he ascertained that the lift
was in the shape of huge parlor stove,
which the lady wished her dear husband
to carry to the attic !-h7o,cJcc Joa,nH
The benefits Of advertising are shown by
the fact that business man Of Orleans.
who lost wallet containing 500 in Boston
recently, had his money returned 10 him
by a lady living in New Hampshire, 300
miles distant, who read the announcement
of the loss in the BoYto,, Herald
<s%-
At a little gathering the other evening
young man asked a lady whether, if his
small brother was lad, he was not
ladder; and she kindly said She thought
he must be, she could see through him so
easily. 1t is pleasant to be a young man.
An Irishman beiug tried for assault and
battery in Virginia City, Nevada, when
asked by Judge Knox if he had anything
to say by way of defence, replied: Well,
your Honor, saw but little of the fight, as
| | was underneath most of the time"
Josh Billings writes that Philosophers
aul agree that the milk is put into tho
kokernut and the hole is neatly plugged
up; but who the felIer is who duz it, the
philosophers are honest enough, for a
wonder, to admit they can't tell us
At an exhuming Of human bodies in a
cemetery at Greenland, \. H., some time
ago, it was found that bunch of myrtle
placed on the breast of little child buried
sixteen years ago, was as fresh as if gathered
the day before.
An exchange asks: " If there's a place
for everything, were is the place for boil 2"
1t has been said that the best place for such
an ornament is on some other fellow. And
we don't think a better location can be dis
covered.
. Can there be anything brought INTO
this House" asked a disgusted member,
during the last session of the Legislature,
" that will not be repealed sooner or later?,
One of the opposition suggested "a skinned
orange
The superiority of man to nature is con
tinually illustrated in literature and in life
Nature needs an immense quantity of quilts
to mako goose with but man can make
f goose Of himself in five minutes with one
f quill.
j. Chip-straw, so much used for bonnets, is
the braided bark of willow grown in
France and Belgium. Its whiteness is SO
: perishable that it will change over night,
becoming the cream color generally seen.
: A small boy, while playing in yard at
Rockingham, n. c., several days ago, was
l attacked by rooster, which pecked the
little fellows head so badly that it caused
, his death.
Half dozen men may go down conscc-
utively on the same piece of banana peel,
and yet each will express himself as differ
# emily as if he had been brought up in
separate language.
/ Mrs. Mella Dodd, of Bowling Green, Ky,
. l16 years old, is going to the centennial
She takes her two little girls, aged SO and
81, along with her to keep them out of
mischief.
A Rhode Island clergyman said recently
that he was not going to make the pulpit 4
bulletin board any more, and that hereafter
is he should not read any but religious
notices.
A HINT.-An English paper says "do
not forget that by putting on horse any
n part of his harness, no matter how small,
II he can be easily led from burning
stable"
y The checklist method of putting off the
@ payment of bill now is for party to
It decline payment, on the ground that he
Is "wants the money to go to the Centennial
!! with
The largest feet known to history must
=. be those of the Maryland editor, who
- writes ave black our boots with $4,000,
W 600 boxes of domestic backing year."
Nj -