The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-10-12
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Hassaway is California poet.
The duck of lover makes goose Of =
husband.
BLESSED are they who have nothing to
say, and who cannot be persuaded to say
The chief officer in the Egyptian domin-
ions is said to have khe-dive-erOus cast
of countenance.
No man but horse-car conductor has
Che right Of patting lady on the back
without an introduction.
Hackmen are the best hearted fellows
in the world. They never see a man max
ing his way home at night without asking
him TO ride.
Lady to WATERFRONT put that ice into
the goblet with your fingers. Waiter
Lor' ma'am, 1 don't mind, my hands are
very warm.
As an Arab clings to his horse, and as
an Indian clings to the legends Of his
father, so do deaf men cling to the habit
Of walking on railroad tracks.
Mrs. Partington says she was much elu-
cidated last Sunday on hearing q fine
discourse on the parody of the prodigious
son.
annie TFuDD is lHe UdllSiltSI VI Il OIleS-
ter county farmer, and when she is at the
churn She is the Grub that makes the
butter fly.
The omission of comma on an cpl
taph IN a cemetery causes the inscription
to read, Erected to the memory of John
Phillips, accidently shot as q mark of af-
lection by his brother"
"There, john" said an irate mother,
rg4y,
gotten the lardr' ia, Mother" said young
dutiful. 1T was so greasy that it slipped
my mind"
lat the parlor door,: Eliza, what is the
bell ringing for so violentlyi-Cook (be-
| low: It's on'y me, mum. 1 want you
| down in the kitchen minute.
Troy has wrinkled, sallow old man
who, being about TO seek young wife,
| inquired at drug store for "the man as
cuamcls faces, SOS to make 'em look
poorly"
An Arab chief at the Marseilles opera
] especially admired the trombone player,
expressing his wonder ITO see that Chris
| tan swallow so much brass. I cannot
yet comprehend where he puts it."
The question as to whether it is spelled
whisky or whiskey is still debated. The
| Chicago Times virtually decides the ques-
/ lion by remarking that nine men out of
ten take their whisky with "e-ase."
The worm will turn. A Prussian in
| Dusseldorf lately killed his wife and
! daughter for ridiculing his brilliant red
hair, and his action is likely " inaugu-
rate general revolt of red-headed men.
The most forlorn victim of the present
| hards times announces himself by the
declaration that he has given up wearing
sIispenders and trusts to Heaven to keep
his trousers on.
II is said that there are not so many
! whips sold as there were ten years ago.
Aud this is explained by the fact that
/ more drivers use a fence picket TO encOur-
lge their horses than formerly.-NOrriS-
'Olsn Herald
Harmless Amusement - Mr. Muclkie-
stone (after missing his bird for the TWEEN
/ tiet, timaj: l say, Gaskins, do believe
the birds are frightened at me! Old
Keeper (blandly1: They didn't ought TO
be, siri
When an Indiana girl gets tired of a
lover and determines to dismiss him, she
| doesn't throw much frescc work into her
| speech. Il guess you can pull off now,
SAM Is her icy remark, ''this egg won't
hatch"
Asingular case Is reported from Brook
iyn. a woman was badly frightened by
a cat some months previous to the birth
of her child. That child proved to be q
girl, and is now eighteen years of age
and married. During her girlhood she
gave no evidence of being affected by her
mothers fright, excepting indeed, pro-
pensity to chase mice and occasionally to
sit on the backyard fence and yowl lit,
lie an moonlight nights; but strange TO
relate, since the birth of her own baby she
always lifts it out of its Glib by the back
of its neck with her teeth.
During the time when Clayton was
ruler of Arkansas. all Justices of the
peace had to be appointed by his excel
iencv. One old negro, who thought he
knew enough to discharge the duties Of
the Office call on the Governor to be ex-
AHMED and receive his appointment
Several questions were given him, all Of
which he managed very well. But when
ne was asked: '.Whatwould you do in =
case where man had committed sui
eide 2" sWhat would L do = said the
negro. "Well. sab, IN a case like dat, de
heyy least could io,ssh, would be TO make