Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-11-09
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

The Canadians are out with their
handsleds and sidewalk shovels, t,oun-
dering around in two feet Of snow.
CRUEL! crueli The Detroit Fire e
Press says that no woman can open her
portmonnaie without sticking out her
tongue "a "a. .15.,
CITIZENS of Albany, n. Y, have
formed milk association, being des11
perately determined to have pure milk
or know why. ......e- ........
RoUGH ON HIM" Can you spell
donkey with one letter ~ asked silly
young man of bright girl. 50 Y es,"
she anSWered-'et .saG 1861 .#.
THE rheumatic house-dy has got so
that you can coax him down from the
ceiling in the early morning with a
broom and dust-pan. +. a". te
A BLACK HILLS miner, named Bah
cock, sold his claim for ST, 500, and be-
cause it was resold in a few days for
$1,000, went crazy over it.
A SAN FRANCISCO man has been
sued for whisky bill of S7,140, run
up at a bar for drinks-the greater
portion Of which were consumed by
himself. ..s..@ "H"t.tH.E II ~
GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS says -
ship on the ocean. is onlya chip with
a thought in it. y Then @ chip in the
wood-house is only a ship without
thought in it. j.
WE don't care how good he is, the
man whose coat pockets always catch
on the door knob as he goes out of a
room, can get up a most terrific repu-
tation for unbridled profanity.
5ingtoaa HoaOk-Eye. a..
"WELL, my DEAR said good pastor
at Sunday-school to tow-headed
urchin, Il am glad to hear you are
getting to be better boy why,
sir said little Joe, looking up with
grave earnestness, 4 amt been sick"
AN Intelligent youth, recently en-
gagged in commercial office, made out
a shipping bill for ''fourty'' barrels Of
flour. His employer called his atten-
ton to an error in the spelling of
forty. "Sure enough" replied the
promising clerk, 81 left out the gh."
Mrs. SITTING BULL got possession
Of fashion magazine the other day,
and was so delighted with the latest
modes that she cut out all the colOred
plates and pasted them on various parts
heap nice and she wants her hus-
band to subscribe for year, to enable
her to wear the latest styles every
month. Herald.
A LITTLE bright-eyed four-year-old
boy, upon hearing his father read the
touching story of Joan Of Arc, was
greatly moved by her sad trials; but
when the part was reached where she
was about to be burned to death at the
stake, the poor little fellow could not
contain himself longer, but sobbingly
| clutched his parents arm, and, with
! big tears running down his plump
cheeks, cried, but, papa, where
We're the police?''
A NEGRO town-crier in Palmyra,
La, was sent out to ring his bell and
shout, "Col- Anderson will speak at
the tOWn-hall tonight, on the Green
back. and Peter Cooper question" He
made the announcement correctly sew
eral times, and then it got changed to,
''Oh, yesl oh, yes! Col. Cooperback
will speak on the Green Peter ques-
tionP' When last heard he was yell
ing, Whoop-a-la? Green Peterson
will speak, on the Coop question this
EVENING" 81. r-.., saa
THE MEAN WKETCH.-M Dorkins
hurried into the house, and exclaimed,
@.Pve got another, my dear-a good
one. If you were on the top of a
church spire on the back of a goose,
how would you get DOWN." Mrs.
Dorkins thought she'd jump down,
slide down the lightning conductor, fly
down on the goose, fall down, and then
gave it up. "Why, if you wanted to
get dom, you could pick it off the
back of the goose,' said Mr.. Dorkins,
| exultantly. Ha
Mrs. Brooks, who made in but
ter model Of the head of the
dreaming "Iolanthe,' gave some ex-
hlbitions of her work before a com
mittee Of ladies and gentlemen, in
the judges hall on the Centennial
grounds, few days since. She
took about fifteen pounds of butter,
ladle and spoon and piece of wire,
and, with a looking-glass before her,
she consulted the lights and shadows
and contour of her own face, and in a
little while human head and face was
successfully finished, to the satisfac-
ton Of those present.
Gentlemen's Wedding Costume.
THE custom of being married during
the day, as in England, where the GER