Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-10-30

Autumn leaves-Departure for the
Centennial.
Railroad conductors driuks-Punches
and suashes-
We all have sufficient strength Of mind
to endure the misfortunes Of other people.
Our Tom says that an appropriate
beverage for eheeker-players IS 'draught'
ale.
Pants viii be worn longer this coming
winter-lOuger before they are changed
for new ones.
Dried apples are becoming fashion
able desert for the swell parties Of Gov.
Riee's staff.
Now Is the time to reorganiZe your
social societies. for the season has come
when soeiables are fashionable and fash
ionables soeiable-
Miss Foshay Of Novia Scotia, aged
Is. weighs 25O pounds. and that bids
fair TO become the Foshaynable weight
among the bluenoses-
AT the name Of George Washington,
fellow citizens" said centennial orator
not hundred miles from Boston, ''ty-
ranny trembles ike an Aspinwau leaf.
Our Tom estimates that 4 chap who
takes the hired girl to the fair will pay
out seven dollars. where the man who
takes his own wife won't spend ten cents.
what ails dis beoples of America. +"
says Desgranchamps, us dot dey walks
nit der legs too much in der sthreet gars
out. und don't got some muscles some
more
Are these eggs poaehed p inquired
q customer Of a eolored restaurant keep
er. at an Alabama station "Yes. sab. "
replied Sambo. dey is-dat Is, de chick
ems wot laid EN- war"
An exchange thinks that when 4 re-
publican female refuses TO use demo
cratic journal for curl-paper it Is time
for the country to pause in Its mad
career Of political discussion
A young nan. searching for his father :
pig. accosted an Irishman as follows
Have you seen a stray pig about here :?
To which Pat responded. ''Faix. and how
could I tell a stray pig from any other ?
ladies and gentlemen" said an Irish
manager to his audience Of three, '-as
there is nobody here. III dismiss you
all ; the performance Of this night vii
not be performed. but will be repeated
tomorrow evening
The TyrOleAn hat Is all the rage The
young ladies bang it up on one side anc
Jam It down on the other, dangle then
h1ir IN their eyes and walk the street,
as though they didn't care fg WIZ
was going to be the next president
A new elothier in Danbury, Conn
has excited public curiosity By having :
large apple painted on his sign WheE
asked for an explanation be quietly 10
Guired IF It hadn't been for an apple
where would the ready-uade elothIn:
stores be to-day
Our Court street billiardists shOul'
abandon their careless habit Of wearinl
patches on their pants IL distract
from the beauty Of a nzdSss shot, Ehei
the spectators. looking at the playe
standing on one leg. with his body bal
. way across the table. discover that hi
background represents 4 scene IN To
harbor Of Bio Janeiro--Bost0E GLIDE
A earping old woman once said to be
L pastor: Dear ne. ministers nal
muekle adae aboot their hard work; %
! what : twa bits o. sermons IN the wee
: tae max sp7 could do . myseE .
: well, Janet. said the minister, good
humoredly. '.let = hear you Try I
Gone ava vi text. then quoth sh'
He repeated with emphasis: 1T i BE-
ter to dwell in the corner Of the hous'
TOD than with brawling woman IN
wide house" Janet fired up Instantl.
what : that you say. SIR ? Dae ye II
2 tend onything personal p stop stop
broke in her pastor. 'Tou would neE,
q do for = minister" And what for no
said she. because, Janet. you con
j. over soon to the application" +"