The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-12-29
Pith and Point.

duced.
Pith and Point.
A MOTTO for young lovers-So-fa add
no father.
LoNs-RANeE practice-Twenty Year,
experience. as cook.
ALL men are not homeless, but sOn<
men are home less than others.
A LADY writes about the "watesy,
sober moon," when really the moon IL
full.
SHAKESPEARE spoke of "the sleep Os
winter" But he didn't take much &c
count of the shower.
GA CAST IRON grandmother is not q
term of reproach, but only new mss-
chine for darning stockings.
The agriculturist of the Graphic 10
forms the farming public that now -
the time to graft whitfietrees.
"WHY," asks an English review, "iH
the British lion so afraid of having ms
toes stepped upon9" Because he cnee
| had unicorn on them.
AN arithmetical peacemaker fguJs-
lively suggests to the politicians: ''Tme
is 0 a time vi 2-per-8-ing. Let us he
country and people at 10y rate"
MAMMA-"Annie, how came those sp-
Piles to be bitten in this way9" Annie
"Perhaps, mamma, they have been frOeV-
bitten; you know it was so cold last
night"
LETTING well alone "Oh, Mary, the
wells got broke, and we can't get no
water; and oh, hain't it primel Father
says as p'raps we shan't ave to wash for
a fortnight"
The man who manages hand-car caL-
not be called chief engineer, and if yOu
style him hand car chief he might be
confounded with the wipers of the loco
motives. Commercial Bulletin.
TABnE-KEEPER-"B BY the way, shall ]
put in an extra buffalO9" English
blood" Couldn't you let me ave an
'orse, You know2 Er-er rather not drive
a buffalo first time, You know. Omaha
Herald.
"I'LL tell you why I'm Russian things
as / am, says the Gar; those heather
ish Turks keep killing off Christians Ia
cold blood every Dey, and by all the
Great Powers at once, 1 ask, Ottoman
to stand itl'
STUDENT, to V. P" Professor, I'd
like to have leave of absence. i want
to go home to attend the funeral Of
cousin" V. P. (reluctantlye" Well,
you may go, suppose, but wish it wss
a nearer relative"
SOMEBODY remarks that young ladies
| look upon boy as q nuisance until lie
is past the age Of 16, when he generally
doubles up in value each year until, hike
a colored meerschaum pipe, he is price
less.-Bu6ato Express.
TM-"An' is it me health ye'd be ask
ing afther2 Sure, an it's half dead i
am, coming down to work in all that
rain this mornin'." Mike" Divil bit
did ye, Tim. BY the hokey, / cone
down in part of it myself"
In the hard drinking days an old
Scotch laird and his eldest son were
riding home together from hospitable
gathering. Their ride for while wss
silent, but at last the son said: "Feyther,
/ wish We was deid." The old man rather
sadly replied: "Well, laddie, l hae afteB
thought that of my feyther, but never
i Inc bDC w SdJ
The Boston Transcript says that not
long since Prof. Longfellow had a CAL
from a couple of Englishmen, one Of
whom, on meeting the poet, remarked
"Aw-you /" don't-aw-have any ruins
AVN your country, and so We have
come to see you-aw.' Mr.. Longfel)Ov
quietly replied that he was "Quite
ruin Uultta a rl1ln ~
The following is timely, these daark
mornings, when late rising and early
breakfasts occasion hazardous haste IN
fire making:
One morning Miss Bridget o'Farrel
sphlitted up petroleum barrel;
Now" said she, IN have foine hre;n
And surely she did,
For when they found Bid
She was baked like brick,
Only dryer.
MAMMA" said Vicksburg boy, ''le
the bad man a hog2" "What do you
mean, my son :" 81 mean Satan Ia
he a hog7" "Well, no he is generally
spoken of as serpent by Christisns
but he is popularly supposed to be With
out definite form, that is, capable Of ~
suming any shape that might suit hie
purposes. But why do you ask e.
"Because when was down town yes
terday papa got right red in the fsoe
and told another man If he didn't wbip
Tom Trotter the devils a hog" "And
didn't he do it2" inquired the anxious
parent. ON I'm, he didn't, but he triea
like blazes, and when they wiped tue
blood off his face he gimme new bsg