The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-03-25
Did You WOate ?


And lets curl flow down her back,
To tempt Us artless lads!
--Ndshpie american.
Our fish men do not send fresh fish c. 0, D
Hair pins covered with silk to match the shade
OF the wearer's hair, are another in7ention' lhey
are Invisible and, moreover, keep in place Oct
ter than the ordinary kind. But they arc very
dangerous things for young married men 10
have in their pockets-they GIVE one away
so frightfully.
Amosg the city offices TO be fought for we
might mention are akcdoc " inspector ana SIDE
cut tail race Supt. "Akedoc" inspector ID all
important oflicc--if the water don't go through
il will be bad. What " it" is we don't know, but
i'm be bad Ira wants this office. He knows
there's no one who (dis)llkes water, especially
canal water, more than he and no one car see
to this akedoc business better than he can.
He doesn't expect this to be a lucrative office
not at all. He don't want it to be- Like the
blind man, "hc don't want any money" he wants,
longs for-honor-a place in that bright galaxy
Of heroes gone before, who died that we might
live, and this "glorus mcrican peatowl (this
has no reference to corns" or other chips W
still blow its bazoo" Hoopla, He'll see that
the office is run--if he is on the jury he'll send
his landlord down there and give him a D." hand y
in this pot of glory. There's nothing small about
Ira. you bet and the sclcctmen at The store
ought to give him the place.
Sde-cut tail race supt, mot soup, as 1t sounds
like,) is q much fatter "posish,' The duties OF
the officer in charge is to take charge OF the de.
hot Gin Y wants the
lob but in mercy to his flock we think he ought
to be barred out. Supt. sounds SO much like
soup that the first thing may happen will be
tol.racc soup, and that's too strong for the aver
age man in his flock. No, no. give it to John. or
anyone hut him.
Bart and Dan were aut on an expedition on
Friday. Both know how to tell good story,
and are long wnded which may account for tho
stiff gale on Friday at about noon. Some villain
says they had to sit down on the curb stone to
have 1t ont, but that must be a mistake. How
ever, to-day you will find both pretty well laid
up. Bsrt has his head in sling, while Dams
ears are p-sided and part Of the drum gone,
and he is moreover heap mad to have Pennsy-
tuckian clean him out at game Of CAB"
or all the awful places In this city the terra
ipcoqsita north OF the feeder is the worst. Such
labyrinth whcwi Just TO show: now there was
AL. He's lived here for years, and has been all
over town, and yet the other night up there he
got lost-yes, actually lost. He sat down on q
mud pile and thank aud thunk; then he spit on
his hand and hit 1t (his hand Of course) o whack
with his finger in true boy fashion, but that fail
ed, for he trsmped Jan hour or two and was still
in the mud; thea he tramped and trsmped over
10 or IL square miles and finally "came out some
where, he don't know where. All he knows Is
he'll have TO invest in new pair Of boots and
stoc ngs-that It feels somehow more comfor
table to sit on high stool than to stand al
day. This is a point for the street and bowling
alley committee, ho says.
One of the unfortunate requisites In societ,
matters Is an introduction between parties who
ought TO be acquainted but Amt. A couple
young men in town here feel this fact badly, fo
they have been longing for many days an'
weeks and months TO get acquainted with TIVE
or three handsome damosels," and can get NJ
one to introduce them. The other night the.
concluded tn force things-to take the law int,
their own hands, as 1t were. so they deposited
| their cards on the front gate post with reHues
for the acquaintance Of the fair ones, and lie
| fate do her best" trust In God and keep you
DOW der dry" as Cromwell saith. And fate di
| IT, The biddy" fouid them and supposed the
| we're for her, and OF course accepted thc desires
acquaintance of such ME, young men, and nov
writes them loving squibs on rose scented papa
trie and interviews tnem at divers unexpecte
and awkward times. and does her duty in tn
matter faithfully and constantly. As, howeyel
the aforesaid "damosels are acquainted Will
the circumstances the feelings of the youths ar