Weekly Trinity journal., 1876-09-02
MR.. SMITHS BEREAVEMENT

He was tall and slender, and clad in the
habiliments of woe. He entered the Of
fee and took chair. Removing his hat,
he wiped the moisture from his eyes, rub
bed his nose thoughtfully for moment,
put his handkerchief in his hat, his hat
upon the floor, and said:
"You didn't know Mrs. Smith ?"
81 hadn't that pleasure. Who was
she ?"
"She was my wife. She's been sick
for some time. But day before yester-
day she was took worse, and she KEEP on
sinking until evening, when she gave a
kinder sudden jump a couple of times,
and than her spirit hckered. Dead, you
know. Passed away into another world"
I'm very sorry"
" So am l. And l called around to
see if couldn't get some of you literary
people to saw out some kind of poem,
describing her peculiarities, so that can
advertise her in the paper"
~ dunno may be we might"
"Oh, you didn't know her, you say ?
Well, she was singular kinder woman.
HAD strong characteristics. Her nose
was the crookedest in the State all bent
around sideways. Old CAPTAIN Binder
used to say that it looked like The jib-sai
on an oyster sloop on the winward tack
Only his fun, you know. But Helen
never minded it. She said herself that
it aimed so much around the corner that
whenever she sneezed she blew down her
back hair. There were rich depths of
humor in that woman Now L don't
mind if you work into the poem some
picturesque allusion to the condition Of
her nose, SO her friends will recognize
her, And you might also spend verse
or two on her lame eye"
"What was the matter with her eye p'
"Gone, sir gone ! Knocked out with
chip while she was splitting kin'ling
wood, when she was child. She
fixed it up somehow, with q glass
one, and it gave her the oldest express
ion you ever saw. The false one would
stand perfectly still, while the other one
was rolling around, so bout half the
time you couldn't tell if she was study
ing astronomy or watching the hired girl
pare potatoes. And she lay there at
night, with the indisposed eye wide open,
glaring at me, while the other was tight
shut, so that sometimes I'd get the hor-
rors, and kick her and shake her to make
her get up and fix il. Once l got some
mucilage and glued the lid down myself,
but she didn't like it, when she woke in
the morning. Had to soak her eye in
warm water, you know, to get it open" &"
Now, | reckon you could run in
some language about her eccentricities of
vision, couldn't you ? Don't care what
it is, SO that / have the main facts"
"Was she peculiar in other respects ?"
"Well, yes. One leg was gone run
over by wagon when she was little.
But she wore patent leg that did her
pretty WE'LL Bothered her somtimes, but
most generally gave her good deal Of
comfort. She was fond of machinery -
at night and stand it on the hat-rack in
the entry, and go to bed with only one
cold foot. She was very gatetul for her
privileges. Although sometimes it wor-
risd her, too. The springs ID work wrong
now and then and may be in church
her leg d give spurt and begin to kick
and hamme. away at the board in front
of the pew, until it sounded like a boiler
factory. Then I'd carry her out, aud
most likely it d kick at me all the way
down the aisle, and end up by dancing
her around the vestibule, until the sex
ton would rebuke her for waltzing in
church. Seems to me there's material
for poetry in that, isn't there She was
a self-wlled woman. Often she wanted
10 go to sewing bee, or to gad about
somewhere, may be I'd stuff that leg up
in the chimney, or hide it in the wood
pile. And | then wouldn't tell her where
it was do you know what she'd do ?"
What ?"
Why, she'd lash an umbrella TO her
stump, and drift off down the street IS if
that umbrella was born there You
couldn't get ahead of her She was in
genious I've known her when the ba-
by was playing with the potato masher
to unbuckle that leg and use it for mash
ing. Take it by the knee and worl; the
joint backward and forward splendidly.
$50 / thought I'd mention few facts
to you, and you can just throw 'em to-
gether and make them rhyme, and I'll
call round and pay you for them. What
day ? Tuesday? Very we'll I'll run
in on Tuesday and see how you've fixed
her up"
Then Mr.. Smith smoothed up his hat
with his handkerchief, wiped the accum-
ulated sorrow from his eyes, placed his
hat upon his head, and sailed serenely
out and down the stairs toward his desc
lated hearthstone. -fhitddeiphia Bulte-
TN.
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