The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-03-29
wANrrp ro nr An Ebrron.

Have you had any experiences in
the business 7" we asked of q verdant
looking youth who applied for an edi-
torial position the other day.
Haven't /, though 2" he replied,
as he showed one foot under his chair
to hide the unskillful patching of
baokwoods cobbler. "I should saw
I'd had some experience-Aaven't l
corresponded with The. ..Pimpkinrille
,ScreaHser for six weeks2 Hain't that
experience enough ?"
''That will do very well.' we re-
piled, but when we take young men
on our editorial staff we generally put
them through an examination. How
much is twelve times oneY'
f"TwelyeP Why, any little boy
ought to an"
"Hold on, please--don't be too fast
who discovered America ?"
"Klumbusl Pshaw, them questions
is just as easy as"
"Who was the first man 2"
"Adamf Why, mister, / know
all"
"What was his other namef"
"His other name Why, he didn't
have none."
"Yes, he did. You see that's where
we've got you. His other name was
Observation-Disclosures Adam, ESQ.,, late
of Palestine. Nobody knows that but
editors, and see to it that you don't
tell anybody" TtF Fr
He said he wouldn't.
"How many bones are there in the
human bodyS" O
"Well, l forget now; 1 did know
wunst." e 1e-ai ra
= "Whati Don't you know that
Why there's 7,4S2, ,657, ,244 bones in an
ordinary man. A man that snores
has one more bone than other peo-
ple." n r
"What bone is that 2"
"The trombone. It'ssituated some.
where in the nose. You won't forget
that, will your
He said he wouldn't. h
"How long will it take mud tur-
tie to cross the desert of Sahara with a
small orphan boy to touch him up
behind with red hot poker2'
"Well, look here, mister, if had a
slaterand pencil / could fgger that
out, but dog my skin if I'm much on
mental 'rithmetic."
"Slate and pencill Did you ever see
slate ard pencil about a sanctum
Nonsense. Well, we IL let that ques-
tion slip. Have you got a good con.
stitution ?"
"Putty tolerable." 4E
"How long do you suppose you
could live on raw corn and faith and
do the work of domesticated ele-
phant"
Lord! l don't believe could
stand it more'n week. ~
"Well, that's abou. as long as you d
want 70 live if you got an editorial
position on this paper. You appear
to be pretty we'll posted. We shall
ask you one more question, and if you
prove equal to it you can take of
your coat and sail in"
Lets have 'er squire. l didn'i
correspond with The Ptn,pkinviM
ScreGmsr six weeks for nothin'. Letter
come-1'm on deck, am.
"Well, sir, if two diametrical cir
cles with octagonal peripheries should
collide with a centrifugal idiosynerasy
or, to put it palmer, wen say a dis,
entranchised nonentity-what effect
would the catastrophe exert on g
crystalized Goldfish suspended by tn,
tail from the homogeneous rafters o.
the empyrsan?"
AS the full force of this ponderou:
problem broke upon his bewildered
brain, he slowly dragged his inartist
ically cobbled shoe from under the
chair and started from the room. We
heard him descend the stairs, 90 out
and close the door. We then placid
ly resumed our duties, regretting thai
so promising youth should have
been weighed in the balance and
found wanting.-Franklin On. H.,