The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1876-04-15
WIT N HUMoR.

r"Fhr nsodlng-AAif ing q candid nan.
Tin wedding-The one that pans oSt
well.
Wooden wedding-Marrying a perfect
stick.
A Swell of the ocean-An admiral
Jsdy.
Fox's martyrs-Ducks. chickens. turkeys
and geese.
A real estate mans motto-"Not words.
but deeds"
In these days no lady appears perfectly
unrufaed.
Why is life like a ~conundrum f-Bscausc
many give it up.
When is a clock on the stairs dangerous
When 1t runs down.
The young man who was filed with emo
ton. had no room for his dinner.
When is soup likely to run out of a
saucepan -When there's a leek in it,
The question is. did the horseman that
secured the plain put sop in the sanl?
What species of love is that wa.e'i is
never reciprocated PA neuralgia affection.
Young women should set good example,
for the young men are always following
them.
1t is said that there is a cat in Charles
town that plays the piano. She is evidently
one of the mews-es.
Why may a tipsy man fall into the river
with IMMUNITY ?-Because he won't drown
As long as his head swims.
MY son." said an old man. beware of
nrasn1s,.u. H., -. III. -. -. -.
minds are like traps prejudiees creep in
easily. but it is doubtful if they ever get
out"
Was not her death quite sudden ?" said
. condoling frien, o a bcreavel widower.
well. yes. rather for her,
The class of persons who are sail to be
the " Sweetest" on thei. patrons are supposed
to be the confectioners.
"The sacred heavens around him SHINE"
wrote the poet. The compositor put it.
"The scared hyenas around him vi me"
why should we celebra.e washington's
birthday msre than mine ?" asked n teacher
in Boston. Because he never toll a lio!"
shouted a little boy.
1t is rumored that a Flew York baker has
invented a new kind of yeast, which makes
bread 30 light, that one of his pound loaves
does not weigh over twelve ounces
Ar editor of a denominations paper at
Chicago says. " man needs grace to edit a
religious paper at any time, but especially
when he has the rheumatism"
I'm getting to be too much Of a parent"
exclaimed a Mormon elder. on being in
formed that five children had just been
born in the old house at home"
The captain of a privateer, who had been
in an engagement, wrote to his owners that
he had received but little damage, having
only one Of his hands Wounded in the nose.
Ayoung lady. while out walking. heard
for the first time her mothers intention to
marry again, and she was obliged to sit
down and cry about it. She could not go a
step-father.
A stump speaker in America, in dealing
with the "modern physical degeneracy of
women exclaimed, Eve must take good
care of our grand-mothers, for zoe shall never
get any more.
A client complained to his counsel that
the latter rambled too much in his argu-
ment of the jury. "Oh." exclaimed the
barrister, don't you know scattering shots
hit the most birds ?'
slave you taken any remedy" asked a
physician Of a sick person whom he had
been called to visit" No" sal the ratient.
81 haven't taken any remedy, but I've taken
lots of doctors stuff" III
"How are yon pleased with the beauty
- I'LL. l.l..-t III
highly-rouged Partisan coquettcs of an
English gcntleman-"Im no Judge of
painting" was thereJ ly.
At the funeral of a woman in Alabania
the other day. n neighbor in attendance. feel
ing called upon to say something sympa-
thetic to the afflicted husband, kindly re-
marked. You've goi u splendid day for
the funeralr'
A negro in, South Carolina, who was CONF
planning of the hard times. declared they
were the hardest ever known. Why
said he. Il work, all day. an steals all
night, an yet I'm blest Of | kin make al
honest living"
WHAT ALLIED Her." Mldnm." said n
quack to an old lady who insisted on know
ing what niled her. 9Th nerves of YOUR
tympanum have fallen on the cerebellrm.
causing n tizarizen. and it is what we call
n seminary compliant. "Gcodncss me-
she exclaimed, you're the first doctor that
ever told me exactly what was the mat
terp'
A gentleman wishing to buy some roast
chestnuts in the streets. the in1 who WIS
selling them asked: Dye want EN- very
good. sir, or only gooif' You have two
qualities then?" said the gentleman. "Ycs,'
replied the little fellow, coolly-" one fer
eating and the other for warming your
hands. Them for warming your hands
amt got such n good favour"
ARcHY AT SEA.-An liable e,man'' from
Ardamurchan was mt the filler of his sloop
one night. shortly after the Introduction of
colored signal-lights on ships. A tea,ner
was approaching and Archy saw the green
and red lights for the first time at sea. He
astonished his %shipmates by yelling out,
lizard a-port-hard a-port! We're gaun
RIGHT intae the 'pothecary's shop at Gou-
rockI"
Uvna foIow;r- .Jyo-t,o,u1- ..--n-