The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-12-09
BUDGET OF FUN.


NV wind made gloves and ovcrcoa,s ne
assity n Baxter street Chinaman s'oou DE.
IRE a Chatham street clothing store ana
livered in his thin cambrc coal he las
ned lis queer eyes on an oNeTco"' at 'h'
oor and the look upon his face showed
lat he was searching for something OF the
ind. .
"N,ce gnat-shust a fit--shcap IN brlce,
nd off der most exquisite quality: six dollar
lkes IT." explained the clothier.
ugh, ughn shivered the Chinaman, smll-
ar handy. as if he would carry the idea
lat it was warm morning.
"You need dot goat continued the dealer.
You are shust freezing TO bleccs in your
racks"
"Thlee dollar huff, allie same" replied the
yhinaman, drawing mis- sleeve across his fore.
,ead, as If to wipe away perspiraton
$50 away, you man from Shina-go away
some other sthorc where dey hat sheapI
boddy goods." exclaimed the cothier
John" passed on, turned the corner and,
IS the wind from the river struck him in
Jew place, he jumped clear from the walk
and his teeth struck together. He turned
back, and as he neared the clother's he re.
moved his hat and famed himself
ADO you want dot goat or not:' asked the
lealer
"Dam hotee today replied John, still
tanning himself and putting heavily.
my Colt! but how can you call such we'd
der hot! Hetens allie, hut haf seven stoats
going up stairs to keep my family warm! BE
ing cot you are from Shina, you can hal dot
goat for fife dollar"
"Wcosh, more hotee-lo' dollar plenty
huff"
-Four dollar Do you pellet dot same goat
cost me seven gold dollar last week. walk
on. Mister Shinaman."
The Chinaman walked. The wind blew
down his back and around his ribs, and a
teardrop gathered on his nose. lie must
have an OverCoat at some prcc, ana he again
turned about.
$50 You hat come TOR dot nice goat" que
lied the dealer as he met him again
awful hoteem gasped John, wiplng his
face and tanning himself.
"My hefens! but what queer peoples dose
folks are!" sighed The dealer.
"Fo' dollar and hulfy; plenty, nuiiy, ale
same" said John, looking nj the coat
INV souls! my souls! but desc shcap prices
will break me down before night! Howeier,
must hat money to pay my taxes, and dot
| goat is yours"
big hotee-woosh {" exclaimed John as he
counted out the money and saw the coat
come down.
"a more elegant fit nefer hat seem sand
the dealer as he put the coat on the China.
mans back II drow off a dollar and a
half because you say it is such hot wedder
with you
John moved out to the curbstOne, made a
graceful bow, and as he secured the last but
ton he waved his hand and chucklcd;
ats muchce cold ale time-dlam cod!'
She led him to a sofa and in deep bass
voice called him her souls idol, and inquired
what his monthly income was. Seeing his
rae fixed on her boa.cOnstriCtorljkC mouth
She remarked: Darling, | see you
want to know the reason of my
large and beautiful mouth; let me eX-
PLAN 10 you the reason OF its unusual SIZE
When was quite little child | was play.
ing on pappy's cellar door. 1t gave way. |
was precipitated down into the basement and
caught by the mouth on projecting nook
which ripped up my face and extended my
mouth several inches" With his eyes filled
with sympathetic tears, he rose from the sofa
and replied my angel, you are perhaps
mistaken. Probably, in the excitement OF
that awful moment, you lett your mouth
down in the basement and accidentally
brought up the cellar door. We shall meet
again in Il better world, Adieu.'
4 prisoner was being tried for sheep steal
ing. and he was asked by the presiding judge
an Irish chief baron, what he had to say il
his defence. "Ah, sure, yer lordship didn'
meself and me fawther, and me grandfather
all vote for your lordshlp when ye put NJ
for Tipperary? And begora, didn't we car
Nv your lorGship to the head of the poll 2
True, true" murmurcd the judge, and he
was vsibly affected by the Renaissance. II,
looked kindly at the prisoner at the bar, anC
in summing up directed the jury TO acqui
him, though the evidence was very strons
for conviction. The jury felt the pressur,
put upon then, and the foreman, in giving tho
verdict said, "Well, your lordship, | suppos,
we must call him not guilty; but faith, yel
Iordshlp, there1l not be a sheep at all lief; il
the county" To which his lordship cumpla
Gently replied: All, never mind, gentlemen
never mind the mutton. Acquit INN and ca
beef" And he was acquitted.