The New York herald., 1876-11-10
IMAGINARY QUOTATIONS.
PRESIDENT GRANT AT THE WHITE HOUSE
From the Pail Mall Gazette. Oct. 26l

PRESIDENT GRANT AT THE WHITE HOUSE,
From the Pail Mall Gazette Oct. 26l
President with newspaper in his hand)-Bahi IT'S
use. l knew It wouldn't be. What's the good OF
troops " nobody will give them anything do And
the SouthcrLers have got cute do that fReads
from newspaper) This latest movo Of tho Presidents
looks like return TO the abortive tactics OF ls4-thc
attempt to make political capital OF manufactured
Southern disturbances Again. then, the President OF
the United States is figuring in tho character Of
agent prorocateur-to fail second time in that most
ignoble OF parts Society will more insist upon
saving ITSELF and will allow corrupt faction
TO proong its tenure Of power by coup deta' tfngs
paper aside d.sgustedl Thanks, my scribbiing dem
ocratic ircndi As 10 corruption-wen just wait til
we've pumped Boss Tweed BIT; and perhaps you
democrats may have to sing little smaller to that
tune Corruplons pooh IT'S the pot and kettle; or,
II the democratic pots quite black the repub
can kettle just now, that's because IT'S out in tho
codn Put it on the comfortable hob Of office once
more and II will soon catch the kettlc up again, in
point OF blackness No; there's very little difference
between the two in that respect, only
the republican kettle has been so
cursedIy imauagodl Always having its black
side exposed the whole kitchcn instead OF being
turned decentIy toward the chmneyi And Ben Butler
almost fnglng the SCOT In peoples faces All, Ben,
my boy, couldn't have done without you but you
heavy load any President TO have mad TO carry
Who could with you backg It's long since
had character OF your own that you've forgotten
what IT'S worth to other people. II could only have
put your soma re- put able ders-ony have
smuggled your conscience INTO tho body Of some
spscsed Amsrcan n coaps & We msn' nave
bunder,ns, after all, tnas has % nndons me,
70 bo done win fellows ike Beknap about
one-men who dont scruplc 10 be found our What
hope is there ior fellow so insensble 10 all the ob
galions OF pubic man to transact his little ncgo-
tiaiions through the medium OF his wife Oh, mon
strous! Aud BabcocK. too my own sccreiary-a man
escape detection! Yes, President Grant, you are an
unfortunate and Ill man, victim to tho reck
lcssness and mprudcnce OF those around you aud to
the scandals winch their incautous conduct have
cumulated upon the closing years 0i your admnisra-
tion All ! often think Of that text which tolls US
that we ought to "waik clrcumspecty and keep our
selves unEpotted from the world. " How true that ISL
especially the first part o ~!
WASHINGTON ].
wo, they must have Their way, suppose Tho
great American baby must have its toy OF CIVIL
ing Presdentin-ha, now n,co that sounds But wait
TIL you get the White House. my friend Nothing iiko
tna. Tor showing your reormsr mat there are two
needy AGO hunters all roxnd YOU, and new demand
every day from every man who happens 10 pull the
wires somewhere and TO have made himself useful at
your election You may think yourself wonder Of
purify and public spirit and the of SO
The number. for all that tho world knows about
him. Purity's easy enough till you get among dirty
things and people, and public spirit comes much
natural 10 q man IN private life And after ALL Why
noty VINO was IL that said that every nation got
exactly the government IT descr yed-no better and
worse? Purity OF administration, indecdi A good
joke! wonder how many OF the men who are bawi-
ing Tor II just now look at anything In their papers
! before tho buoiins from the "Commodofesp sick
room. How many OF them there who
don't admire Jay Gould the smartest
man on this continent, aud only wish they
had had The oppor ruuities OF Fiskf no. my friends,
You want to eat your cake and have IT, Smartness
pretty tnCg N lis way but you cam, make q national
idol OF II without paying little sum In sacrifices II
we're all TO tor tho almighty dollar, don't SEQ
be either, depend upon IT, whether you call him Grart
! or Hayos or Tldcn or what not He may faitcr him.
self he docs about joining in the but wait
! till he Hnds himself In tho front. He'll be- ready
perhaps thai you haven't had your worst President
yet. Besides, what matter II he does try the other
line at frstY systems are stronger than mon- most
men, at any rate. Andy Jackson knew that
''Old Hickory" knew that better than his prayers
when he nrst started the rue of the 'sspos Tor the
victors.1 He knew the system would stick tight
enough when It screwed Tho victors
might be trusted TO to thnt; there many OF
them, and they're too eager To scramble tho
spoiis to let that rule go And the vnuquished hope
bctter luck the next time. And the game goes
round. GUS both ways, though, that rule, far
the President concerned Tor the .outs" get hun
cry after term, and deviish ravcnous alter two
that there's chance or third. Yes should like to
but It was not 10 be- How II had thrown over But.
ersm aud gone into the minded business Would
they have put 1.-THE superstition" on tho shelf and
given O third termy doubt IL. l doubt IL very
much. And II they hadn't-wby. should have como
out next year with 1.-The respect and admiration OF o
grateful country" but with damnabIy i-feathercd
nest; and tnat wouldn't have done tor me-not ',by
chaIksn The George Washington business don't suit
ones book In THESE times cspecinly considering the
advance IN tho prcc oil living.