St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1876-09-29
Squibs.

fifteen minutes to ascertain what kind
of Il hu>k it had on NoyristOwn Herald.
y man in Il Scotch village. who had a
good telescope, looked at his third
cousin through it. which brought him
as near aS first cousin
During Il session of IL county court in
the interior, Il witness was asked if he
was not IL husbandman when he coolly
replied, amid the laughter of the court
NO, sir. Use not married.
\ lawyer at the bar was held to he
III contempt for simply making motion
III court. 1t WAS a>ceItained, however,
| that he made II motion to throw an ink
stand at the head of the court.
Probably You have heard why IL min
lister delivering his preoratiun is like IA
ragged boy ! Because he's tor'd his close.
y"u know. 1t is h~dly apparaIlel case,
however
\ Theological student, supposed to be
deficient i'll judgment, was asked hv
professor. IN the course of class eX-
animation. ''Pray. Mr.. F.. how
would you discover fool 2 by the
questions he would ASK" was the rather
stunning reply.
! WL;,,I. ;.: !" i''"'P
I,J,.,,. Si'" M l'i!'H :""al"s 'ne
into il and drown EN- all.
Now 'i'a' 5th. Butler has announced
hihlNcli Il widow and the owner of the
Har"' America we suppose ITS Ill
order t" speak of his recent nautical
experience ;l> 1.-THE widows cruise
Ma. what is lanker ~ inquired a
nIiSht-l""kln% child. the other day.
=, =" sure ""ii hh""' my son where
u'd you near the word 'Why, at
SUNDAY scho"i You Know, they sing,
We S'aid the storm, II wont he long,
we II tanker ny ana 10y.
As Mr.. OldfIShion's children were
tolIcking while their father indulged
IN his Sunday nap. Uncle Peter sug-
gestcd "Charley. your father wants to
..r,.rrII '''It' v" nav. .r'.'a heTP quiet
,i,,,',t,'I W o'' .I '"i .'l''' 'eP''ed young
-, i's VIC s'i"u'o
"'';, ';,I '''.. "ei'! III ''" s'i't" ms
t,,.I L,''' W.. ''n WIZ i'e was asireP'
''''' nv N'''' VII WIN HIS shy iarhihS'
"What's the matter. Uncle Jerry -
said MI -. as old Jeremiah II. WAS
passing 10y. growing most furiously.
"Matter' said the old man, stopping
short; ..why. here I've been Juggling
water all the morning for DR.. C.'s wife
+" wash with. and what dye s'po<e
got Tor 1t "Why, | suppose about
ten cents answered Mr.. -. Ten
cents She told me the doctor would
p"ll il tooth for me some time"
What under the sun are Won RIM
maging all the old clothes closets for >"
ne lender wife asks her fond husband,
these hrarlng autumn mornings. MY
Fli'er pantal""nS and coats. he re-
piles with Il suspicious look at the
empty hooks. "O.-why YES let me
see and, with the guilty blood sutflIS-
ing her lovely face, she glides into the
next room and takes Il china dog and Il
Phlr "f glass vases off the mantelpiecrs
and hides them behind the sofa.
For ., nrint.,.s vit.. r,, ,..
Wli'. Betty Tor Il lawyers wife, Sue
Tor Il teanl>ier> wife, Carrie for Il fish
cllnan wife. Nctty; for Il >hocnakeI's
Mltc. Peggy for a carpct-man's wife,
Nat-ile fnr an auctI"nctI'S wife. Bid
hN Ion chemist : wife, Anna Eliza
Tor an engineers wife. Biidge-it.
One day Bill had COMPANY to dine
with him and his wife. wishing William
Ia appear we'll. quietly admonish.d him
Ia he careful what he said. All went
we'll till Bill rot his potot,.s we'll
mashed. when he said ..DnIIv n,rsa
the grease" "Why, William .,id his
y ir. You should call il "r,,vI"
"''l' says hili; IL gIles> If get it
|'' ,mi ".l' '''''f'i"lh 1t would he grease
Ht guests shouted.
OVERRIDING lT.-BdShtM Spooner ION
ms honey m""W Larry. my wife and
l have both noticed that the towns
people stare at us very hard. hope
N"" maven ncrn telling anybody that
we are newly married" Larry uhr
i''!hi,ii fact"tum) Me tell EN-, for
Is II hktll OId 90 agln my express
"rdherS Why. whincvcr ANY body
" =" P".nP me S'r' vi We t""ld
~" w" WIS" married Ill all.
\ mischicvouS quack in Altoona CITY.
Pa. advised a Young man with mar.
'lIir than brain to use molasses water.
the theory being that after the water
eNaporated the rcbcliiouS locks would
r"alesce and keep in place He made
his toilet of Il SUNDAY morning, and.
taking Il prominent pew, concentrated
the attention of all the flies in the
church. much Ia the relief and ediiica-
tloh OF the congregation. After strik-
ing wildly about and damaging a palm
r"i III .'h"uf 'enthrhce, he made II
"' '"e "'"'' WIN the hics
"''' '''"S '"'"' HIS "elI- seasoned poll.
Every man." said Mark Lemon. one
evening, at his club. has his peculiarr