, 1876-01-03


dear. Deon providing for sou and OF cl.il.ircn.
Goiog 10 mako sl0, ,oJn. fjeon looking for Dosh
Tweed" Tlsca lae foil into swoos eleop.
THE NEXT GERMAN waM.
Tho oI}nr dry D simple Herman called
On a rr1cor 10 jay blit, ewing bin slp notc.
Ilo grocer examined 1t closely and said
4" Hul|o. wt,oro did sou Ees This naso Z" "Vot
u de sossons nit loae noto REPLIED Tue honees
ases .n"s :ss'ss sots s sfssft 1oso 'is
cnt 10 Why fer2" "y"u .9e .ho .sie.
H., S fgsss?s ssss;s seassss n, se Ss'' S'" Ws
Ill. Npm is now Treasurer Of tho unitod Btases."'
:, You d,'n't tolo NO 90. Vcll7 :" "Wc, and
notes signed By sp'nbor afe Getting ssasec, M nna f
new iss,.e." d l>s si,p'ihy. lib dot 70 ayes.
Icrrnuo seo yonr bills. Why evory ono OF
than. is = Spinner. Mhn a'p. yons fortune
4 ,sds In pnT;9aeo@ &C ~ o. snq gsose1s ave ss,e
pay aaeruoon to rot tho Mem'um on Ills bills.
bi,, ho ..aa nefp later IN tho oyettuE lurking
round the strces bY shieh ttp grocer must 70
nnco tha following conversation took Flacs:
:" Dor pcc bios fon shar'uany Ag!,ss uell. ,ein?"
.O, Yes, Tho uormRnh hro nu9ucstiunah!y q
!!sS;. 3s'' sp'''5r na "fss ksssB,s,s oss
"ccr!ainsy." "Cnd Worth. and Mara.la.rour.
u,td Ufaya}otto, md Sednu7" "uf courso, of
smi.c sa Ss vii yon I oost sst
waits til las e:o sety atoro shuts hin'sof, uni
you paw 2 peusscll' .s'e'ois vos m4kes you forgot
eli deM little Unce.
A about tluB time ,hs debating eocIetY IL rag
lax il, or rn,ds., an !. tho Gepatcrs snow n.
tnoatablo lack Ut vari stY and ingeuui n the
selection Of subjects ~, fur instance. (which
y tito nost uso'n 40 as ,,d .as o. ar tho ss'
grap!ed ile right Of Hnt1.'agof" Or rs married
III B,ugls hfo the moro an.:eeablo f'-lItE Tn1n-
USE IN tnuved 10 hbEBe1t IeS ueaisa3sa snD-
igcta, Al folIovA:
Why c,e o,bsct~cana noyar .snuud in the hctgh-
horhood OF dwellings, wherc pystoss aro coh-
s.,lAed, bit nnty iu vacant io.sT
Why do tho Nsde Park lra.nts leaEe Chicago
every half l,oar and oaly get to !sde Park every
1ta young man is invitod BY youug woman
10 ~ 10 theatre ~ Leap Year. is legal Tor him
to pay tho e1peuseo. or gallant fot ssin to let hor
IL il Technically correct during Leap Year for .
youus woman VINO has stoNt urou tcr retorvcd
lIshta To hue tho victim for bteach O bri'itiac.
OF should she nut brlng action for bfcac1a ot
RuaWGr3
CONVINCING ARGUMENT.
On an incoming train sAturaaY uM Weetern
rai!rtAl huue paGHenge.a were sitting together
in tho palact-cRr aud discussing tho Elon,cr-
ha7en explosion, whence they naturally d.
r
man contczded thBt 1t WAs itnrosai1io to prevent
OF detecs thla--it people wtrent allowed to shsn
l,ttto-sycsrlna or dynamite leEHllnatefT they'd
tmugsso 1t through lo thair bagknge. THIS asser'
.lot was eonlraulcseu e;npnatlcallH, and tho as-
ncuger waA iaughed Mt. tlouted, and lEnoullutous-
ly put to bcurr. l.iatag up in hiB wrath
liz drew cApac!ous lesther vsilta from IN
s' .ua s soss sss + a1 ssp sos i link ey az.
eh You're play,ng me ior a suc.sr, aro .oux
Do1,t carry osp!oa.1ea Ill carn7 What's this -
at,ll l,n Easo tho HaliEe a Itaonnd1uK thutnp.
q ilar's SoD good aynamtte c4f.rdxea ID that IT
yniiEe; III Couttls Ut TIC deadly material
enui1gh TO h!ow tln yoro train nnI tho whole
io~t,phip from Cook CouutE to ChihiDosaxo.
Thurs dynamite enough lie continued. bat hn
was w.tllolt m auditor, for the passengers bad
lied Internationally, a,id he Gould Aavo Hat aown
I'm twcnty-t~o seatH II ho t,sd wanted TO. And
tho reg ecttnl way III Ahich tho haS loSe-mah M
t'le outYainc trains in tho evening Il tn't[u the
trunks sud sallses VIA pleasant aud 3lnusunl for
70 Aee.
A ROMANCE or ASHLAND AVENUE.
icrtos1as eseuus q plic, thin "plnau. Monn-
y ciad. Wits k'.ou sniyeFlnE uu tho aposstop u
| taHhonabio u,ahBion OIL Abhlaud aYciuo. llar
{ wiolo appearance peto6cnou poverty aud misery.
Tho mRstcz Of tlIo honhe, coinIh. at!yaty Young
man. clad III n costly lur osercoa:, rail- tip thu
J atera Mt the zane nasnsnt hnl Eafo tue poor
| ;rehture qua ter. which Bhs recolvcd with pro-
| fuse manifestations Vt gratitude, Ii seons 70.
mantle, but 1t III n 1hct. that coEtn yehis oEo
.llat young woman livol il tlnt aame u,as,hou.
| tho beautiful, accomplished, md ilo!zeh aRuEh-
ter oi wealthy parents, Two e1itors sought her
| hand, ,.-uua was u tastlionabto young man. the
o.Ler tho pumber'd npproulco, Vino. whilo 's-
1 lung her fathors iurdfy 1nauaion 10 thaw
ont tho water p,tcs, gas aud loHed
tie beautaoua np7ar.tion. Ito preferred hls
nut in blunt, mAniy ttyio. told hor that lis
| tina would 5000 10 out, ailu showed ler bow
tue bills wero .nhuo out 10 meet icr objection ~
to his lacx OF fortune. THO naughty and Ill
tatnated girl rojeatct ilis suit, nnd harrlcd tic
! itul,dR1no Young man. With wnotn She rot up
housekeeping iD the custI3 ma,iBiesl Oil Ashland
! avenue. Wonderful nse tho alternatives Of for
tu1lul Tho plumber 1850 steadily. became veal
tlsY, and purchased the family 1naaaon whcn
| tho young husband was conpellcd. through 60
ing short on No. spring ut IN lnopI.urtuuo nlo.
ment. to soil ous his property. Tne yolug 4us-
banl s,ol to drink, aud finally was buried in d
fsuper'1 grayo. aud last evening his starving
WIDOW asked md rccoiyud alnlB On tho doorstep
or n l,ouBe formerly hcr own flon tlle AAnda of
bes discarded pluEbor-loycs, now ia owner and
| o 1uiiilouare. {bioW curIain.)
| THE COMMERCIAL LOAN COMPANY.
4