Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-09-07
ITEMS OF INTEREST

that he heard the bite would cause
lockjaw.
In Japan a bankrupt is rarely al
lowed to live, but if he does manage to
get out alive he is not permitted to as
sociate with decent classes. 1t is diff
ferent here in America.
ONE of the amusing things is to note
lady, in a spasm of economy, walk
down town to save car fare and on her
way buy fifteen cents worth of candy.
st. Louis Republican.
THEY have an interchangeable little
worker in behalf of the shop-girls and
forlorn women in Boston, who not
only collects money but actually re-
ports what she did with it.
WHEN you can buy dozen clothes
pins for three cents, and have them
sent home by a two-horse team for
nothing, why wait longer for the re-
turn of those good old times p
A KENTUCKY schoOlmaster whose
wife was one of his pupils, had occa-
sion to punish her one day. The next
day the schoolhOuse door bore this in
scription: ''School closed for one
week; schoolmaster ill.,
THE Lancaster Ky.) Letter illus
trates some of the pleasant incidents
of journalism when it says: eve are
indebted to Master George Brady for
a drum solo serenade, and to Master
Hugh Grant for a tomato curiosity"
AS A rule married men are less par
ticular in their toilet than single men.
And yet, will some one explain why
they buy so much more hair-oil than
the bachelors? Is it that it makes the
hair slippery, and less easy to catch
hold of?
ITALY has shook off one great bur-
den Of shame that bowed her to the
dust; she has shifted the responsibility
for the invention of the fiddle upon
England. Now if Italy can only get
rid of the organ-grinders she will in
deed be a Nation.
AN Austrian physician advocates
the theory that eating grapes and
plums makes men murderously in
| clined. 1t behooves us all, then, as
an act of self-defense, to knock over
any man that we may see indulging in
| these fruits.
WHEAT, corn, potatoes, cabbage,
squash, onions and everything else in
abundance, besides pigs and COWS
this is what they raise on the free
farms of the unsettled West. If you
have nothing else to do, there's the
| place for you.
THE old horse Of an East Weymouth
| (Mass.) milkman has had a romantic
| death. AS soon as his young rival
had started on the familiar route the
old horse trotted off, too, stopped at
each door, as usual, and then went
back to his stable and died.
''AND if you marry me-" said So
900, 000-Long Branch heiress to her
Eastern lover the other day, you'll
never be ashamed of my rough old
miner father, will you?" ooh, no
neverp' was the reply. And then he
added aside: ''No, you bet-not while
he's making money at the rate he is
nOWp
A CHICOPEE (Mass.) man had a cat
which he cared no longer to possess.
He took the animal into the garden,
struck it nine times on the head with
a hammer, and, as it still moved, he
boxed its ears with spade, and then
buried it. Next morning that cat
walked serenely into breakfast, willing
to forget the past.
ONE of the pleasantest persons to
meet in conversation just now is
Preston man. He covered his potato
patch with Paris green to drive away
the bugs, and now thinks the potatoes
are poisoned. and expects that he will
have to contribute them to the home
| u10olOudly CdUSo, do uc uOCol udlC W
eat them himself. -NoraDich Bulletin.
AN enthusiastic but rather tiresome
member of Danbury church started
into prayer at a recent meeting. He
prayed with great fervor for the
brethren. Finally he paused, and the
congregation thinking he had done. in
discreetly started hymn. ''Hold on
there, for heavens sakep' screamed
the excited brother, II amt prayed
for the sistern yet" The hymn gave
place to handkerchiefs Immediately
Da11batry NeaOs.
PEOPLE do not generally understand
| that in the Indian war which is caus-
! ing so much excitement in the cOun-
try, and which but a little while ago
Sent a thrill of horror all through the
| land, there is but about three per cent.
of our Indian population engaged. We
may almost believe that were the other
ninety-seven per cent. to take up arms