South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-11-24

y
~An exchange. noticing the mar
riago Of a contemporary. wishes him pos.
terity and happiness.
IVA gentleman said the other day
TO negro servant at the hotel where he
was staying: ''Bless me, Sambo, how in
the name of thunder did you get SO
black?" "Why, look here, massa, de
reason am dis-de day dis chile were
born dar was An eclipse" Sambo got a
quarter for this satisfactory explanation,
and after grinning thanks. continued:
IL tell you what. massa, this niger may
be black, but he amt green nohow.'
II Mr.. Lunn is running for Congress
in Kentucky. If there is anything in a
family name he ought to succeed. His
sister Sally generally liked about here.
IVA little boy, gazing upon an old
picture Of his mother, taken in a low
neck dress, remarked Mamma, you was
mos ready for bed when dat picter
was token.
tYrAn Illinois chap, in describing
gale Of wind, says: A white dog, while
attempting TO weather the gale, was
caught with his mouth open. and turned
completely inside out.
~A venerable young gentleman,
four years old, recently threw his ma.
ternal relative into fit of admiration
by the following speech: 81 like most
all kinds Of cake-pound cake, sponge
cake, and jelly cake-but L don't like
stomach-achc.'
EEOne day Bill had company to dine
with him. and his wife wishing William
to appear well, quietly admonished him
TO be very careful what he said. All
went we'll till he got his potatoes well
mashed, when he said, Dolly, parse the
grease" "Why, William," said his
wife, '.you should call it gravy
Wall" says Bill, 81 guess if / got it
on your tablecloth it would be grease
The guests shouted
sR A few days ago, as President
Chadbeurne, Of Williams College, dur
ing a.lecture was telling the freshmen
class that tho notion of allowing girls
TO enter the college for the sake Of their
good influence on the boys was not rs
sound rs it might be, freshman raised
his hand and eagerly inquired: Don't
you think it would have good infiu-
ence on the young ladies?"
sT"llow it it," said gentleman to
Sheridan, that your name has not an
o attached to it? Your family is Irish,
and no doubt illustrious." mo family
had better right to O than our fami.
ly," said Sheridan, "for we owe every.
body"
1S7 What are domestic magazines?
Wives who are always blowing up their
husbands.
OLD ST AND TIE YoUNG DARKIEs.--
AS old 81 was passing along by the car.
shed, one Of the colored gamin there at.
tached a paper to the old mans coat.
ST asoertained why lie had suddenly be.
come so conspicuous to the crowd, and
shaking his finger at the boy, said:
'Lookee heah chile, I'm ole 'nuT ter
be yer grandaddy?"
The boy gyrated his fingers from the
tip end of his nose in response.
Oats right; you ges wobble dem fin
gers tell you learns the motion. OATS
de gallus crap dat you's goin' on wild,
eff yer only knob hit !"
The boy laughed, and danced all q.
round the old man.
eco on wild yer foolishness, fer de
times comm when all SIGH young colts
ez you is gwine ter be harnessod ZIP an
broke, an yer'll DO moughty glad fer ter
Dress de Lawd ef yer nccks amt broke
in dc first trial -
Hey! whar's dc pig what eat de con
often dat old cob-pipe, ssy?" yelled
the boy.
"Nebber mine; dat warn't dc pig dat
you'll be TUX up fer stealin'. tell yer
dis young gin'ration oh darkies is too
free wild dere lungs, and too sabin oh
der hans ter do emmy good. Der police
is draggin Oh 'em round hyar like pup.
pies wild ropes ter derc necks, an Pm
lookin' fer de kuriner ter be goin' roun'
pickin' dem off de trees like blackberries
fore dis winters done come an gone"
He LIKED IT.-'Do YOU very nucb