The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1876-02-04
Why lie Left-The Young Man Who Did the
Historical for q Newspaper.

A month or two ago Colonel Bangs en-
gagged a young fellow named Scudder as
sub.editor of the Morning argus. On the
day before the anniversary of the battle of
Bunker Hill, Bangs asked Scudder if he was
familiar with the history of that battle, and
Scudder said he was. So Bangs told Scud-
der he would like him to write n little sketch
of il for the anniversary day, and Scudder
said he would try. The next morning the
sketch appeared in the Argus, and attracted
a great deal of attention. When Bangs saw
it, he called Scudder in and said;
"Mr Scudder. didn't you tell me you
thought you were familiar with the battle of
Bunker HIP"
ayes, SIR"
"Well, ifthat is the case, will be obliged
| to you if you will mention to me what you
mean when you say: by four O. clock the
confederate troops were ready for the at
tack General Washington had the cata-
pults put in line to wait their coming, and,
when Napoleon saw them, he drew his
sword, and exclaimed 'Soldiers twenty
centuries look down upon youp
"No sooner werds,he battering-rams level
| ed against the walls of the castle than the
Duke of Wellington sent word to his mother
| by General Butler, that he would either win
| or be brought back upon his shield. Then
ordering his men to fire at the white of the
enemy's eye, he awaited the onset with that
majestic calmuess which ever distinguished
the hero of Buena Vista"
"This was the very crisis of the battle.
Joan of Arc, spying General Jackson be-
hind the cotton bales, dashed at him on her.
snow white charger, swinging her ponder
Gus battle.ax over her head, her fair hair
streaming behind her in the wind. AS her
steed rushed forward her hair caught in the
| bough of tree, and she hung there. Ser
geant Bates shot her through the heart with
a bolt from an arquebus. Her last words
were; Don't give up the ship"
"The duke could not stand it any longer.
The mameukes had slain all his vanguard.
General Sickles had lost his leg and retired
on pension, and the enemy's skirmishers,
lodged in the top of the monument, were
pouring boiling oil on those who attempted
to scale it. Leaping from his horse, he
shouted, up, guards and at them ? and the
next moment, with the glorious flag of truce
in one hand and his sword in the other, he
hurled his legions upon the lava beds and
crushed the savage foe to the earth, killing,
among others, the we'll known General
Harrison, aiterward President Of the United
States"
81 think we shall have to part Mr.. Scud-
der. 1t seems to me that your career as
journalist ought to come to an end right here.
l will accept your resignation"
"Aud.if any one asks you why you left
the Argus, point out this paragraph and say
it was because the proprietor was afraid he'd
murder you when he read your statement
that AT the battle of Bunker Hill the Con-
federates lost $4,000 and the Carthagenans
only 600,' and that there's no spot in Virgil
MIA that the people hold more sacred than
that bloody hill where the bones of Crom-
well lie with those of Roger Williams, as if
they fought against each other in the cause
Of the constitution and cheap transporta-
ton Point to that language, Mr.. Scudder,
and your friends will understand the situa-
| ton. Good morning."