Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-01-12
Odds and Ends.


HISTORY classes are to take the place
of spelling schools. Contestants will
be fed on fresh dates.-M o. Repub-
Hcna1.
Nor because I raise myself above
something, but because I raise myself
to something, do I approve myself
Jacob.
AN auctioneer dropped dead while
crying his goods in Romeo, mich. last.
Wednesday. His last words were "go-
ing, going, gone"
New linen may be embroidered more
easily by rubbing it over with fine
white soap. 1t prevents the thresd from
cracking.
If we do not recognize the Cuban
patriots when they are belligerent, we
do not expect them to recognize us
when they become victorious.-N. O.
Republican.
THERE is no special style of engrav-
ing engagement rings. A spiders
web with sly in it, is very pretty
device.-Jersey city Gazette.
A wEAR1ED young lady fastened the
the departure of a tedious caller by re-
marking, as she looked out of the win
dow: /" think we are going to have a
bep utiful sunrise"
WHAT do you know of the character
of this man." was asked of a witness
in court the other day. ct know it to
be unbleachable, your honor" replied
the witness with much emphasis.
WHEN French army officer is con-
victed of felony his epaulettes are torn
off, his sword broken, and private
steps from the ranks and kicks him.
After that the civil authorities take care
of him.
A DUTCHMAN, summoned to identify
stolen hog, being asked If the hog
had any ear-marks, replied, :" The only
ear-mark dat ] saw vas his tail vas cut
off.
PATRICK. where's the whisky I gave
you to clean the windows with p
"Och, master, just drank it; and I
thought if I breathed on the glass it
would be all the same"
GRANGERs al eproverbially displeased
with all sorts of weather. There is too
much to be done in this world to allow
SO many people to say they have moth
ing to do. Many orchestra leaders fid-
die as if they owed vengeance to music,
and were trying to pay off the old score.
N. o. Republican.
THAT AR patch of grounds mem ri-1
BILE, said an Omaha man. pointing to d
grave all by itself outside of the town.
I reckon you'll know that stranger,
when you see it agin. The okupant of
that was the fust man Horus Greeley ever
told to git West likewise he was hung
for stealth mewl."
AN Eastern youngster while warming
his hands over the kitchen fire was re-
monstrated with by his father, who
said: "Go way from the stove, the
weather is not cold" The little fellow,
looking up demurely at his stern pa
rent, replied: 81 ain heating the wealth
or; am warming my hands,"
A NEWPORT, Rhode Island clergyman
preached sermon on temperance one
Sunday evening, and one of the dea-
cons, who had imbibed a little toe
freely, took it rs a personal insult, an6
after the service he gave the minister
good Gaming in the church. and being
pleased with the performance, foIlowe
him home and several times repeate
the operation - e1a
AN excellent hair tonic, preventin
the hair from falling out, and at tt
same time stimulating new ar
healthy growth, is made as follow
Scald two ounces OF black tea with OF
gallon of boiling water; strain and &C
three ounces of giycerine, half an oun,
of tincture of cantharides, and OF
quart of bay rum. Mix we'll by sha
ing, and then perfume to the taste.
THE German washerwomen use mi
one ounce spirits of ammonia, W
mixed together. This is put into
bucket of warm water, in which one-h
pound of soap has been dissolved. T
clothes are Immersed for twenty-fc
hours and then washed. The CLEANSE
is said to be greatly qnickened, q
two Or three rinsings in cold water
move the turpentine smell.
4 LONDON gentleman, who was Sc,
ing his butler away for no exempt
conduct, but who, like most maste
was willing to make the most of
when he was going to plague somebt
else, made this parting speech:
have said you were honest. John,
a good conscience; but have street
ed point in saying you are sobe
'sSure, your honor, could you
stretch another point and say am
quently sober?
THE canvas back duck is the
luxury at Washington, selling in
market for three dollars pair, an
the restaurants two dollars and
cents a piece when most abund
When scarce the price is doubled,
sometimes even trebled. They
eaten more than half raw-jn
scarcely warmed through. An cpl
was dilating on their exquisite FL
not long since at festive boare
Washington, when Proctor Knott, bt
appealed to for his opinion, remar
that he would as seon eat q di dap
The epicure was shocked. but
average Kentuckian, after wrestlingv
a raw canvas-back, will be apt to &
cur.-Frankfort Ky. } Yeoaa0ss.