The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1876-08-18

Irsa AMI saeere~fni rrtvn ~ ~
nw~.
Tuv assas sssss IA srmrihinr " ast+r
rinAf ffnsn.
CAs shirstsei,ssa T. saih Il rsavsls,
ihe hs*slsns ~
A ~rytrf. ~ sls' rsufi rseis.nssni Nv
larsl the .ssthlashs IA sssss~w.
Osx IN thu prunis~i mvinrHis III fst
mans life il wlWn hr tan ,ssl bslrk~isssai
cakes without getting nas,las~'s un hia
shirt front.
t'ua IHiini. t,,hn HaFt,tsn arpuuss
fsr ssl,,eak inn Snn,las lna@ hs saying,
Ut IN brrau~ ihrsr s,les haven't hren
aislrsl for wrrk.
Az exchange nnsr~ ihat MarNal,an IL
Visiting NAnry, anil thss Kaiser Willel'a
il hn,mp,i,inE N Ems. ,lreat gallant
arr ihcAc EUROPEAN rutei'as'w.
ARrsr .--I'sr iWen Jolly unver lately.
Dp ron think I wpfk ~, heris Dealer
In hnr arts tplAin ~pahcn1 ruiauhin,lis
yunr work IL al,out ~ l.afd as an,thinG
cut.id le.
ir was raiilrr personal IN A California
uuwwl,npcr IMAM io chluniele I'll. lttf
rhaaa III mule by Il brother editor ~ Il
remarkable Instance VI Helf rpaes.s
Hion."
Bmx "tli,ln'i want amy morr Ind III
rrndy hn.t 4 snrf.rnt." wns what aea
lmshinR vunns lady said after beiii;
tipped over BY roller and trying ~
scream under water.
AsorHEn nian whose memory aneh
not u ho permitted tu urfiah II gatnn,
liz lived imar Fredericksburg, VA, AMI
h,s father wns kicked nilt III water
melon patch by deorgn Washington.
A KExrurkr sclloolmnsscr whose wife
was ono of his pupils Ind ortaAloi, 10
punish her onc day Tho neat dny illn
school house door bore tl,ia inscription
"l,cl,ool closed for one week.: ~'l,o"l
master i'll.
Mn. Hpsui anya tha jnhn II jnai tlir
ni,,i, lrst man in tiir world. SHE ato to-,
much grecl corn, thu pth.f .lns, nna ut
tho cole; md what lid tlic old IDIOT 10
hut send for the corn doctor Gin.in
natl 1,mes.
GRATITUDE srkoNa IN prArn.
4 bachelor whs iaiels ilel.
Wtlirt lhMt his lawyer shonit divide.
In slnAi fatts. ii.s prnrefly,
AtnunA thres Masusn ~hu survived,
Nhngt III Iais DAY hs ~nsilh tasr slNtAt
afnt.f With 4r#isfui sniilpi ~ NAtsi.
"ti u ~ ttssH si0sss ear
NJ hsi,itbsss Willie Lsfa hutnN,
TEACHER .tpllnns, how lii fups'li
ro ID heaven" johnny 80" itM,'t k,luw,
mM'am." Teacher Why. Isfprh wis
traunIatcd: (yod took him ~ ~ l,rasrn
without dying" johnny" lsy gnll,,
then, that's tie limo I'm Rolng np oi, -
The Innt1r 4nntterV.
"Cnii.unEs. tniL Il minister, nd.lf.n.
Ing Sunday. school, Why nfr W. lika
Abwrrai Wint 10 We lin,e tllai f'pwsts
haycf" And smal hoy In slla infnitt
elnss, wlo2e breath smnlleh ~ srrlni
fugr, rosc mp and ma.lo reply, "WnfMn \
And thu minister crept under the pulpit
to hide his emotion.
4 LADY, ~ a birthday present, gn,o
hrr little ron fishing limo, hook md
pOle. A fnw hours later sl.n lfnfl him
scream, aud rushing ont discovered tlat
ono ri hrr chickens llA.l swallowed flin
hook. "Dpn't im uneasy, mamma,
sAid the nrrhin "nliell rtop chewing
the lime when she reaches illa pole.
pa" exclaimed EIna.l,al Dnrkina,
Jr., ~ his respected rire, "pa, what y
tho diflrrenur tween n elephant nnd \
tree r. Mr.. Dnrkinn sa,d something
nboui inth having trunks. but wan scol-,
fully interrupted hy Inn oiihprinR, whp
shouted, "dAms~ sl,e tfec leaves ~ tl,s
spring md the clcphaas leay's WHEN sl't
nlonMgrrtn leaves"
Ar railway Station two gontlatlsl, u
longing ~ ths district we're warming
themselves In llo waiting npu,n, wlfn 4
.on III tho Emerald Islr, "mtlier out at
~ltpws, entered TIM r.,m. One III il,a
gentlemen, lsrNcteristically humorous.
uai,i to MIN. "l1l bc after gisinR ypi.
my chair IL warm Yourself fef \ AZ
pence" VIII yoMf" wns tl,s reply,
I'm ir after letting yu. keep II f,r i
ah.iiing; and it's meTslf that bun n,url
naesl oi ono Just NOW"
Dxsy no longer that n.li,nals htsii i.,a
Aon. On Onr VI tl,e streets nuEst liz
BD,rAn In A wise nld dor vino fOi sut,ts
hsa ronme,l ilir sidewalks witl,n,s 4 ns,1
xle mud fearing ~ hfre~t, Wlntil W tha
dog iayn le pefeuiscr iiial l@litsssnni,
IN nyciiiH him hr irdtr a~Ay ~ ile ls
.Irai,t aud takes drink " wnier viii,
great relish. "All' Lal" ta,s ilin IN.
evr, "tl,nt .iug hasn't tlnp l,Iro,lnba.
any nI,d be- pasHe~ u,i, Il,nfsnh
tlsr nmgAuisus animal Hpitr oni tue "nf.f.
lncstAs II An should s~Alln9 all ~
l.,,lsd hs would iuaanevliunalls Lio Il
sirD,My. Paris HUarD.
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1hv kchOOl AmvmAmWMt.