Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1876-02-12
"PUNCH, BROTHERS, PUNCH !"
The Effect or MARA Twata's Fieadtsk
Article fn the Atisaete horrsbte
Su0ertngs Of q Chicago Lady.

Paul Clifford writes to the Chicago buns
concerning The disastrous effects OF taking
LONE Marx Twain's recent article pu bliShed
In the Atlantic Monthly. He gave las vile
the paper containing az, and then seated
himself Ia peruse "A learned article on the
North American Review, but was In a short
Time awakened rom that by a regular sound
K dancing, and looked up 10 see my elegant
llitle lady waiting around the room like one
ro,r 1,sSi n9as. a., A. soi,y, biess me,
glad can ma ke her 80 happy But, as she
came whirltng near me, she murmurcd,
"fuucn with carei Punch in the presence 81
thS pas are aud on she glided tn another
T9ft Of the room! BLESS me-" sollloQ uised,
bow free from care is the life Of a woman,
when SO small thing can move them 80
strongly" By this time began 10 feel as n
] was
N THE MIDST OF 4 SPIRITUAL STANCE.
and a stormy ole. too; for the dying OF tae
little feet-how L loved them grew faster
aud faster. over went the chairs; slam
bang! went the furniture. Here I became
imperious. Jane said 4, sternly, It's
time 10 stop this. Look out there you'll
tip over that center tablet" It was too late.
On the floor lay books and cards, and the
remains Of two handsome vases that had
cost me $50 each only last Christmas Now
L guess you Will be ready 10 stop said 7,
reproachfully this time. On sue galloped,
last as an express train, shrieking. "Punch,
brothers, punch with care A trip sin bl Ne
Ior an eight-cent fare An eight cent trip
Tor blue slip fare! A bun slip trip Tor =
ira, la, la. a three-ce trip for a pinE no
isre Punch In the presence OF the passen-
lafe-'
Mercy" shrieked 1. by all the gols. Tins
thlng must stop Aud up / Jumpei aud
started 10 mad pursuit. IL was in "a that
1 banged my head against the lamy. whicu
had been drawn 10 NIL, and left SO. ia vain
that. In swinging around one corner o. the
room, lost my balance, and stuck my 81
bow through the window; ia vain tuat
KICKED OVER THE sTONE.
But THIS thing must stop. Tn r.. I've
almost caught her! Ha! she's gone aEsIfi,''
Here flung myself forward. aud iust r.u.bf
4 - a A 4. r.r.
that In my hand, and me spTawling o. tis
moor, and pranced over my PROSTATE form
Two or three times in ler course. Bat at last
nature, entirety exhausted, gave up, ana
she fell down ia fainting III, Collapslug IN
10 little heap by my side.
arose bruised aud bleeding. and silently
stood moment IN specifies sLGpefac LloI.
ana Then called a servant, who stood staring
on lie scene. hO2rsely shouted, You
blochhead! maven you any sense? Get
some water Having thus energe ticaIly
delivered myself bent over the bowel fortn
and applied the smelling -salts, and spIn-
Eled her face with water and invoked b.r
with all The passionate cntreatleS OF love, 10
come back 10 life again and 10 Paul. IOpenei
the clenched teeth a. best could, aud give
eye-lids trtmbled, then nfted slowly,
and revealed her glorious eyes, yet as mOurn-
ful as thou ga they had been eclipsei. Then
her lips moved, and she uttered an fnarticu-
late sound. / bent my head low 10 catch
the dear words, ana she murmured family.
" Observation-Disclosures NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
H4eScLCS - ol - tue - pdsseuJ arC.' Horror
OF horrors! must this thing last forever? L
gently raised her and supported her droop-
ing form. She laid her head feebly on my
shoulder, lsnguicly closed her eye, and re-
peated over and over, as n To herself
"A PINK TRIP SLIP FOR A THREE CENT
FARE,
Punch, brothers, punch with care :" 6My
daIllng," said 1, soOthingly, "do try aud con-
troll your thoughts" The divine creature
raised her eyes 10 mine for a moment /
pressed my lips 10 hers, and when removed
them, she replied, gazing at me with a con-
hiding look, Punch In the presence OF the pas
seDJare!" What could 1 do? bethought ne
that music was my wife's pas sion, and wien
nothing else could soothe her, that dad. led
her 10 the piano and said, please sing me
that last song by Hayes" She sat down.
Her fingers moved languidly over the keys
A last wild look filed her eyes. Her body
tIembled. She sat erect, win parted lips.
Then rapidly moved her fingers over me
ivory keyboard and her voice rose wild,
yet clear:
Conductor, when you receive a fare,
Punch In the presence OF the psssenjare!
A blue trip slip for an eight cent fare.
BY Jove and all the Olympian heroes. she
had improvised q melody for the accurset
words! felt my reason given way. / could
endure no more, ana. rushing madly from
the room, i seized my pen 10 warn b usbands
who have married poetic and musical NO.
men, lest they have some such fate,