The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1876-09-14

perience which may prove a stronger
tie than minister's ceremony or clerks
certificate. They have recently left
the city, and it is supposed have gone
to the husbands new home. May
they live long and osper.-DenUer,
Tribune.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
EPITAPH for hydrophobic victims
Obit.
HAVE the hard times dcmonetized
you yet?
If work is slack spend the time in
reading.
IN occupation man forgcts his
troubles.
AS A rule, man carves out his own
happiness or unhappiness.
A MOSQUITO one inch in length has
been slain in Calvert County, Md.
THEY say Washington is "deader
than Julius Cesar since the adjourn
ment of Congress.
"SwEET extracts of tannin" is what
Pulaski On. W boy calls his strict
but pretty school marin.
GA PRUDENT man." says a witty
Frenchman, "is like pin; his head
prevents him from going too far"
PEMBINA, the name of the prospec-
tive new Territory of the Northwest,
is pronounced Pem-be-naw. Accent
"Pem."
WHEN physician deserts his pro-
fession for the pulpit the inference is
that he can preach better than he can
practice.
AN Eastern man says that the H..
classes are the lower classes, and tho
lore classes are the higher classes.
Now how is this?
A FOOL in high station is like man
on the top of a high mountain. Every
thing appears small to him, and he ap-
pears small to everybody.
TIE captain of a new London vessel
reports being boarded at sea by Colo
RADIO beetles They appeared in such
overwhelming force that the matches
had to be closed.
"DoLLY,' said her mother, "why
do you throw your watermelon seeds
over the floor? Other folks don't do
So" "Well, l amt other folksr' said
the little Sauce-box.
THE intermarriage of two families
in Maine is remarkable. One consist
ing of four sons and one daughter, has
married all of neighbours children,
four daughters and son.
A MAN in Boston, in his hurry to as
sist fainting lady, got a bottle of mu-
cilage, instead of camphor, and bathed
her face with it. She was good deal
stuck up with his attention.
THE proprietor of a forge, not re-
markable for his correctness of Ian
guage, but who by honest industry had
realized comfortable independence,
being called on at social meeting, for
a toast, gave: Success to forgeryW
A LECTURER was dilating upon the
powers of the magnet, defying any one
to show or name anything surprising
its powers. A nearer demurred, and
instanced lady who, when young
used to attract him thirteen miles every
Sunday.
THE Womnn's Journal asks: "Should
women be self-supporting?" We don't
know much about the merits of the
question, but if they ever should be,
man would be deprived of half the
pleasure of a long walk home from
spelling sch0Ol.-Ha,rk-Eye.
A,TELEGRAPHIC wire runs through
the Hoosac Tunnel, and a warning is
given whenever train begins or ends
passage. A small force is still en-
ployed in examining the sides and roof
and removing loose rock whenever it
is found. Trains move very slowly,
twenty minutes being the schedule
time.
A QUAINT writer says: 81 have
seen women so delicate that they were
afraid to ride, for fear of the horse
running away; afraid to sail, for fear
the boat might beupset; afraid to run,
for fear they might fall; but l never
saw one afraid to be married, which is
far more riskful than all the others put
together"
elf you don't hit the cat on the
backyard fence with the first peach
stone you throw at it, the trouble is
you have to keep on eating peaches I'M
til you do. Boston Globe. Peach
stones! Why don't you snap apple
seeds at the monster if you wish to
knock its head off
A LADY who had been teaching her
little four-year-old the elements of
was astonished by his run
ming to her and propounding the fol-
lowing problem: Mamma, if you
had three butterflies, and each butter
fly had bug in his ear, how many
butterflies would you have?" The
mother is still at work on the problem.
AN Arkansas coroner, having oc-
casion to investigate the cause of
mans death lately, charged the jury
that they were to ascertain whether
the imam came to his death by acct
lent, by incidence, or by the incen-
liary." The jury returned that che
came to his death by incidence, the
bowie knife having incidentally touch
I'd vital part" !