Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-08-24
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
A BYGoNE age-bondage.

fighters.
The man who carries all before him
The wheelbarrow-man.
WHAT part of speech is most dis
tasteful to lovers The third person.
All! brethren, it is the drink in
stead of the eat that prostrates most
Of 'em.
WHEN they want a man to drown
himself in New York they say: "Oh,
buy yacht
They had cheap hacks in Washing
toms time. George took one himself
at the Cherry Tree.
Mrs. PARTINGToN says she means
to hear one bacchanalian sermon be-
fore all the college commandments are
over.
ADVICE to those who accept drafts
upon bankers from the reckless and
lmpecunious; Don't count your
checks until they are cashed.''
THE largest feet known to history
must be those of the Maryland editor
who writes: eve black our boots with
Is, 100000 boxes Of domestic backing
year"
A New YORK physician wants peo-
pie to understand that the bite of a
dog that is not mad is capable Of pro-
ducing just as fine case of hydrophobia
as the wound from one that is with
ing with the rabies.
THANK Heaven" said the San Fran
cisco Ne1Os Letter, on the morning of
the Fourth, "there is no one in our
city so poor or humble but that he can
help hold down a Chinaman while a
cannOn-cracker is set off in his
mouth"
A sCALY yarn. The Washington
(Ga.) Gazette remarks: "For the past
week it has been so hot down on Little
River that the catfish have been OBJ
served to crawl up out of the water,
lie down beneath the shade trees, and
fan themselves with their tails
CLARENCE, you've got real kind
heart gratefully observed a young
lady on the cars to a sallow-faced
youth, as he dropped a prize package
of popcorn in her lap. Eyes, Mary,
my hearts all right" he sadly replied.
"What want is new liver"
a CANDY-sTORE window displays, in
worsted letters, the inspiring text:
"The Lord will provide" A boy who
passes daily says it amt so; and "you
can't git no candy in there on the
credit of Providence. Nickels is the
only thing that gifts them gum-drops. y.
THE situation in Rhode Island is
getting more embarrassing every day.
One can't move aside few feet to
avoid n1ingling in a crowd at dog
fight without having somebody in
Massachusetts or Connecticut yell at
him to keep in his own State. Brook
Ign argus.
JOAQUIN MILLER's poem of 1000
lines says that the Oregon River rolls
In a land so far that you wonder whether
The God would know it should you drop dead;
In land so far through the wilds and weather;
That the sun falls weary and flushed and red,
That The heaven and earth seem coming to-
gether,
Seem closing together as book that is read
A TEXAS traveller reports that for
several miles in the vicinity Of Grass
Valley he was obliged to force his
horse through an atmosphere of grass
hoppers. IF we are to credit the &C
count Of one sufferer, the hoppers were
so thick at Simpsons Park that it was
necessary for a horseman g to carry
mowing-machine on the horn of his
saddle, III order to NOW a path for his
horse"
The ST. Louis bankers are not I'M
grateful. One of them overpaid
customer a thousand dollars a few
days since, and when the man returned
it next day he was cautiously told
that he had laid himself liable to arrest
by not returning it Immediately, but
as he had saved the bank that trouble
his offense would be overlooked.
A WATERING-PLACE correspondent
writes: sit is past midsummer and
one can readily see how the seasons
record at the summer resorts and
watering-places will read in the fall.
No place will have had a brilliant
and successful season, no matter how
fashionable and attractive it is in re-
putation. Dozens of places will
financially come to grief, and hundreds
will karely meet expenses"
JUPITER-the planet, not the heath
en- deity-is at last to have justice.
A professor in the University of Ley
den, in Holland, has published book
on the planet of Jupiter, in which he
asserts that the climate there is inya-
riably temperate, sunny and cool. He
thinks the planet is not a solid mass of
ice, as has been asserted by some other
L