The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1876-06-01
In. Y. Tribune.]
Pea ShO0targ.

It's an exasperating little instrument; tin
ube, of small diameter, and twelve or four
teen inches long. It's hollow; anybody can
see through it; kind of unfinished fife, with
all that the word implies except its mus c,
1t has all the rasping possibilities of that
wondrous instrument except that of making
noise. 10 the hands of a small boy of average
''cussejness," one pea-shooter is capable of as
much disturbance ia neighborhood as we'll
developed fife with full grown man learn
ing to play on it, 1t does not come under the
head of heavy ordnance by any means. Even
the Navy Department could burst one of them
at the expense of a fire. cracker and a cork. 1t
is not deadly nor even dangerous AS the
Californian said about the small-sized revolver,
Faint big enough to make a Teller mad"
A man might be surrounded by small boys
and popped at with pea-shooters all day, and
have no special feeling about it except one of
disgust that there was not really enough of it
to get good and mad about 1t would be such a
ridiculous thing to do, that he would rather
any man of ordinary sense and self-oontrol
would-let the little fellows keep popping.
For it is only pea, a pea-shooter and a small
boy after all; hardly worth cutting boys ears
tor.-One boy on a fence in a populous neigh
Dorhood, with one pea-shooter and pocket
full of peasi Alb, to such picture what vlstas
open! What far-reaching and wide-spreading
oceans of delight! What Infinite happiness aud
1neasureless content! Beyond this for the small
boy there is nothing. If ne has one unsatisfied
longing it is just this, that he may some day
sit on the back seat in school and have whole
paper of pins ready bent and handy.
Pea-shooting sometimes becomes a habit,
propensity. The man keeps up what the boy
began. Take such boy as Sammy Smart for
Instance, the lad who thought he was hunting
skupks, when the rest of the boys were play
ing 'Snap the Whip''-such a boy almost
inevitably grows up pea-shooter. He never
does any great harm-except to his friends; but
all his activities are devoted to pea shooting.
His life is a constant "Piff!' "Piff" "Piffp
-peas-peas. He is always shooting peas. He
gets mad if he isn't noticed. and sets up yell
if he gets cuffed. There's no peace anywhere
in the world with Sammy Smart and his pea
shooter at large. Beginning his practice with
the purpose partly of annoying the neighbor-
-sood and partly OF drawing attention to him.
self, ne gradually initiates himself with the
notion that he is a Reformer and really be-
lieves that the ea-shooter is artillery and pea
shooting is war. The tattle of the sewing soci-
ETY. inspires him for great pea-shootiDg cru
fade against a neighbor who is suspected of
Stealing poultry because the flavor of chicken
pie has been detected issuing from his kitchen,
and once started, nothing stops him. If the
neighbor calls Sammy in and shows him the
butchers receipted bill for the chicken,
Sammy goes back in few minutes to the
fence, takes out pea, puts his mouth to the
ea-shooter-"Piff''-T say" says Sammy.
'It might not have been chicken-it smelt
to me something like duck! All, ha! wasn't
tia duck? Piff! All, no! twas duck! Piff!
PHI! Yes, twas duck! Got you now Piff!
Piff! Pif! You stole a duckr' Then some
times Sammy, who is disposed to pr, into the
affairs of his neighbors. brings hi pea-shooter
10 bear on somebody who keeps his business to
himself. There's grocer over the way doing
prosperous business, but Sammy doesn't un-
oerstand where he got his capital. He hangs
around the store few days and is friendly
with the grocer, but isn't shown the books.
Back he goes to the fence-out comes the pea
shooter. "PiH! Good many groceries! Where
dye get 'em? Piffl Struggled? Plff! Piff!
Or are you in partnership with pirate? Ha,
company with pirate" And if anybody says,
Sammy, why don't you mind your own bust
ness and let other peoples alone?' he replies,
The mission of the pea-shooter is to put down
piracy, and SO long as l have the responsibility
OF conducting an independent pea-shooter, 1
shal. use it in the defense of honest groceries
and for the destruction of pirates" Once in a
while Sammy shoots pea at loafer, who re-
turns it with a stone. On these occasions
Sammy steps softly down and puts away his
pea-shooter till things get quiet again.
wei, pea-shootlng, as has been remarked,
is not dangerous; it doesn't kill anybody. But
tho pea shooters are such sensitive souls. You
can't tell one of them that his hands need
washing without setting fence full of them
into yell of injured innocence, as though they
had sucked their breath instead of blowing,
Perhaps some of them will get choked to death
that way some day. We hope not for now
that we have got used to them life would be
very dull without them.