The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1876-08-23
pArRIorrsm IN eossIprI11E.

They were going to get up Lady Wash
ington tea party for the benefit of their So
ciety. 1t was to come off on the night Of the
22d And of an afternoon a few days before
several ladies' met at the house of one of the
number to perfect the arrangements. 1t was
determined to give grand affair-sometimes
especially designed to transcend the tea
party by a rival organization last year. To
this purpose it became necessary to devote
the most careful thought to all the detail, and
this was done. In fact it would be difficult to
find a more conscientious committee in ham,
let the size Of Gossipville. When all the
particulars were arranged, and the various
stands and minor offices assigned to the or
binary members Of the socety--who were not
present--the important question as to who
should take the leading character was
brought up. With view to do without the
delay and feeling of balloting, the President
kindly offered to do Lady Washington her
self. She said that she felt it was not IA
vorable selection, but she was willing to take
it, so that there need be no discussion or i'll
feeling. If she thought she had not placed
a sufficient modest estimate upon her qualifi-
cations for the post, she was presently set at
rest on that head. Her offer was received
with silence.
"What do you think ?" she asked. "Pm
willing to do it."
"Lady Washington never weighed $50
pounds" omnously limited thin lady, with
very light eyes.
ssShe had fat enough on her to grease a
griddle, which is more'n some folks can
claim" retorted the President, with any
thing but dreamy expression to her face.
Tho tall lady's eyes grew shade darker
and her lips shaped themselves as if they
were saying " hussy," but it is probable they
were not.
!" As our two friends are so little likely to
agree" observed lady whose face showed
that she was about to metamorphose herself
into barrel of prime oil, and precipitate her.
self into the troubled waters. II would
suggest that take the character"
Hump!" calculated the President.
g Is there any objection to my being Lady
Washingtonp" said the new party, facing
abruptly the President, emptying out the oil
and filling up the barrel Immediately with
superior grade of vinegar
~ don't know of any, if some one will de-
monstrate that Lady Washington had wart
on her nose'', replied the President, with I'M
blemished serenity.
Am l to be insulted?" holly demanded
the proprietor of the wart.
"The truth ought not to be insulting" re-
piled the President
81 'spose our President thinks she would
be perfect Lady Washington" ironically
suggested a weak-faced woman who saw her
chances for taking the character dejectedly
emerge from the small end of the horn.
II don't know as / would be perfect in
that role" replied the President, but as
there will be stranger present at the party,
I shouldn't want them to think that the
nearest approach Gossipville could make to the
dignity of rs was toothless woman down
with the jaundice." And the head officer
smiled serenely at the ceiling.
:" What do you mean, you insinuating
tnffig hoaise1y demanded the victim Of the
jaundice.
Keep your mouth shut until you are
ppoheH W, thcI, sdiu INC 17TcSlueut.
eI'm not to be dictated to buy q mountain
of tallow," Kissed the chromatic delegate,
tlouncing out of the room.
Il think we had better get another Presi
dent before we go farther" said sharp faced
woman very much depressed by the outlook
for herself.
Itisn't hardly time FOR you yet, " observed
the President, with significant look at the
sharp-faced woman, Eve will have to arrange
for Lady Washington and George Washington
before wo will need the hatchet.'
The. sharp-faced lady snatched up her muff
without the faintest hesitation, and rushed
out doors to get her breath. She was imme-
diately followed by the proprietor of the wart,
and the thin lady disastrously connected with
the grddle, and the toothess case of jaundice.
This left but the President and little woman
who had as yet said nothing.
Has it occurred to You that you would
like to be Lady Washington ?' asked the
President, concentrating both of her eyes on
wen just under the small woman's left ear.
"Oh, no. gasped the small woman, inn
pulsively covering up the excrescense with
her hand.
Then I guess we'll adjourn sine dine, :"
said the President, and pulling on her gloves,
she eomposedly took her departure.
And the tea party became the fragment Of
a gloomy memory
-s.-a~s--.>----