The New York herald., 1876-03-05
PERSONAL INTELLIGENCE.
norc will doafen San Francisco in April.

Gilmore will doafen San Francisco in April
Let US have FIRST class rhyme for Belknap
Mrs Congressman Wheeler, of New York. is dead.
Mr. Jones, of the New York Times, is in Washington
Belknap was not shrcwd; he ought to havo been
subtcr.
There was time when the Secretary of War could
husk corn with any able bodied man.
Senator Sharon is bald headed. This proves what we
have always said that he is not q bachelor.
Some OF tho people out West wondering how
much Bllow paid for tho United States
While the President is looking around for Secretary
OF War will he permit us to suggest Jem Maces
BelKnap man OF simple tastes He would not
drink champagne when he could get rye whiskey.
Since Bailoy, tho Danbury Ne,os man, began to run
for "Governor'' his young ones no longer call him
'Jim."
California raises great quantities OF almonds for phil
opcncs
1t was understood yesterday afternoon that the Pres
den had tcarfuly asked Mr. Sankey to take the port
folio of War.
"Yes," said Grant, 'Belky always a very hearty
fellow He always spit on his hands before he wound
up his watch"
We sorry for Bcknap, because there are several
prze-candy boys the that, we hoped would be
killed or first
Appleton's Journal screams ou. snake cider; make
and not bother with cider.
In Dickens novel Of sLittle Dorrit" there sketch
OF Mr.. Merdle aud his wife, the bosom Of society.
Washington officials should read that sketch
The Norrlstown Herald says:-''A Constant Reader
asks why lamps explode? We can't tell, unless 10
is because he neglects to tie strings around them.'
sNo,n said Senator Edmunds, 'I have nothing to
say about tho Secretary. knew he wouldn't amount
to anything when they told me he could crack nuts
with his back teeth.'
Dolau, the alleged murderer of Noe, has been
rcspted by the Governor until April But up that
time he will continue write the Current Topics OF
tho Rochester Democrat
or the coast of Oregon infant seven foot sea
serpent has been caught At least they think it is
serpent jackass with his legs cut of or writer
for the Kansas City Times
I'D. C."-The HERALD should reach Washington
about two o'clock in the afternoon III is the "Per-
sonal Intelligence that ID O." misses he may find 1t
in next mornings Chronicle
A Twenty-third street went into a millinery
shop yesterday and asked to have his hair cut and
when he refused he said he pairs of bar
bcrs poles in front OF the place.
eyes, said a distinguished French politician ~
visit NJ. Theirs occasionally now for no is troubled
with bronchitis and between two fits of coughing one
can sometimes get in a word"
"Rembrandt"-It is impossible for us to inform you
OF the mctrical quantity of 1.-TWO fingers of rye" In
Detroit 1t depends very much the rye; in New
Jersey it depends on the fingers.
Detroit Free Press-'The attempt to feed Robert
Toombs mint julep with spoon was a failure.
Gimme that bowl minute whispered Uncle Bob and
the next second he saw the knothole in the bottom
oft"
General Phil Sheridan putting a spoonful o,
sugar the end OF cambria handkerchief and irving
to tie littc bulb for the poor toothess young
ono to chew on when the asked him who IL was
for-"Hclen Blazes"
Senator Sharon is paying his irst visit to New
York. Yesterday he visited the Stock Exchange Sub
Treasury and other places, dining the evening with
J. NJ Selover the Union League Club He returns to
Washington TO night
The girl who has been going round lccturing under
the OF Bessie Turner is six feet high She
says you might have carried four or 1--WE feet Of heI
round the house in her ball Dress but the OF her
wouldn't be any such fool.
~. d. IT, wres:- ''My partner having led spades,
second hand having paid the tray of that suit and l.
third hand, having choice OF throwing away
Of clubs trumping with the king, what shall
do'" Sir, are you talking about playing cardsS
The Chicago Tribune says:-'The NEW YoRK HERALD
wants rhymes Conklng. II may send pay for the
following TO the Republican Campaign Committee
"The rising Blaiue will before long fling
A,enrthenng shadow over Roscoe Conkng"
BENJAMIN Franklin, the representative American OF
his age appeared before the French Court in blue
worstcd stockings The people OF the United States
will never be satisfied until their officials appear in
equal simplicity. Mrs Delknap should have thought Of
this
man in Providence, who was recently bitten by a
mad doc has adjusted all his business affairs paid all
his bills made his WILL had constructed for bis
use and made other arrangements for his own and mia
family benefit whom he shall be attacked with HYDRO
phobia
Rev Robert Colycr used 10 be a fireman. and that ia
the reason why he his side OF the old machine
and says "Now, jump her, boysr man who viii
fight the Gre OF the future with this spirit deserves
red shirt aud write book on what he knows ohou,
nrcmcn
The comes that several lady leaders Of fashion
in Washington exultng over the social ruin of the
elegant aud beautiful Mrs. Beknap LADIES' after she
has gone you may pull and strain and hump up your
shoulders and squeeze your toes together, and yot
there will not be Of you who can get on her No "
shoe.
In England they tell how Sankcy walked IN 10 n
srcnader, and, taking him afTcctionaicy by tho belt
said "Noung man, likewise am a soldier a soldier OF
heaven" "Od 'un, returned tho grcnadicr ''you'rs
long way from your barracks, anyhow" Well
There was a very rough young man, whom Sankoy sau
staring around at the close OF tho meetings and kindly
NO. was tho reply, 81 am looking Tor Sal Jackson"
Wet US sing hymn" said sankey.