The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-03-09
A Chicago Drummer's Sad Experience
i'm Nodaway County, Mo.

- a1llaassasalaaa -
-lThe New York Mercury is response
BILE for the following; .-.s,
"Run. gals, and shuek yerselves in
hurry: the strangers comm IN. And
Missouri Ann, YOU Just git inter them
Sunday duds o. your'n quicker'n shoot
i'm. err you'll heer from me, your
mother"
That was what Mrs. Martingale, of
Nodaway County, Missouri, told her
daughters, when she saw a well dressed
man ride up to her hitching-rail and
alight from his horse.
"Come right in, Stranger. Take a
cheer and sit down. Fine weather now
for a. most any thing. Shed yer great
coat, stranger, and come clus to the
fire and get warm. The gals is gone to
shuck themselves, but they won't be
more'n a mint about it,
He was n Chicago drummer, and he
had lost his road. Prudent mothers in
Nodaway don't encourage the atten
tons of Chicago drummers, because
they say those gentlemen from Chicago
are "no account men"
He was married man ut home, but
he didn't goaround introducing himself
everywhere as the happy father of the
six smartest boys in the State of Hi
nois; nor did he carry pocketfnl of
his wife's photographs to distribute in
every town on his read. He sold drugs
and druggists sundries on commission;
and he was ready to bet his bottom dol
lar that he sold more quinine, calomel
and Godfrey s cordial in one month than
any man travelling out of Chicago.
lie didn't feel bad about it when Mrs.
Martingale slung her kettle on the fire
and set her coffee-mill to grinding for
him. On the contrary, he encouraged
/ her endeavors by saying that he never
/ knew woman with head shaped like
hers who couldn't just knock the spots
/ off any thing when she tried her hand
at frying spare-ribs or making coffee.
She tried to disparage her cooking by
SAYING that shoatS this year didn't pan
out according to expectations; then the
weather had been so warm that it was
mighty hard work TO keep spare-ribs
and fowls from spelling.
He didn't require any second invita-
ton to sit up and help himself to her
hot cookery, and he wasn't bothered
with looking over bill of fare to see
what he wanted. He made a square
meal on it before she had time to ask
him where he was from, or whether he
was married or single. The daughters
appeared in their prettiest just when he
was moving back from the table.
Stranger, this is my darter, Mis-
souri, Ann; that, one is Florida Jane,
and t'other one is Sadie Maria. They're
just about as peert gals as there is in
Nodaway. They're all ov 'em willm'
to spark. Now, gals, sit down and talk
to the Stranger"
And Mrs. Martingale busted herself
clearing the table, leaving her charm
inc daughters to entertain the Chicago
man of drugs; when suddenly it &C.
Cured to her that she had not yet
learned where he was from nor what
his calling was two important things
| for prudent mother to know.
81 reckon YOU'RE from Omaha or the
Bluffs, Mister?r
"No; hail from further East"
'You're from over the river in New
brasky, anyhow"
NO; i've IN chicago,
"Shecargoi Gals, shuck back agin
| inter yer old buds! He amt worth a
lead nickel Amt you looking for a
pardner, Mister?"
"No: | don't want to marry
"Then you jest git up and git mighty
sudden. We amt no green gooseber-
ries-me and my gals. We don't want
no man coming around yer that amt
looking for pardner. Now You git!
Florida Jane, you call them dogsi"
That Chicago man of drugs mounted
his horse and rode away in such haste
that he forgot to say good-by. But the
next night when he met three drummer
! friends in Omaha and told them the
story, they all sighed and called for hot
drinks at his expense, for they were
sorry to see such innocence travelling
from Chicago. r rE "a. .-.