, 1876-07-16
THE CITY.
THE ANCIENT CORONER.s

THE ANCIENT CORONER
Itwrs IN ancient Coroner
Whose ftme spread far and wide.
Aud in the same took pride,
When ~ ha ate his morning meal
He'd spread upon his knees
TIE TRIBUNE, and would search 1t wcn
For "'cr'mea and Casualties"
The Coroner was bllthcaome man Z:
And gladly won]d he talk
: With the youth that scattered orange peel -
Upon the stone sidewalk ,.
And he would pat upon the head
80 jump he rope seven hundred times
Lie her cousin (who had died. -
1trow, merry wight Was he ::
On ths fourth dag Of July,
When tho patriotic youth got ous
His red artillery.
Ana much he loved aquatic sporfA
And It delighted him T.
10 see tho boy who didn't know hon 4
70 swim 60 In TO swim.
But nj. cn,la-,ov,ns Z; Coroner -
Best Of amusemtnts all
Uid lore the game, the national ssmN
The deadly game, baae-b ball.
And every time the SKY B1ue Socks ~
Did to their ground repdr
To plsy the Pony Nutuals, lo1
The coroner HA4 lAe1Es -.
q, be would praise the lively Chats
Ana sound The praise OF the p1ucky plays !:
By The in-6eldezs Ill. r.
And to he hatamau be would T.
Wheu he had made hit
''pon1 mop to see where It goe' to- J.
But sHnE Jour hat and gttt"
And merry smile would illuminate d
H{s faces peaceful calm
When the batsman he did sling that bat
In the urnpirc's diaphragm!
Ana he wouad bid the catcher to
Plag eloso behind the bat,
And u1Ke the stAlwa7t pitcher to ~
''Put 'cm IN hot-1ike that
And be would CRY to the good ehort-stop r
Who from hot one shrunk, 4.
- II you can't c.tch 1t, stop 1t still IN
The Nutes die but don't funkfr =
ana wien the players were embsoiled >.
His counsel would be: 'Bub,
Take some OF that there snoozez's sass.
But hit him with a clubl" =
It ehaneed that nigh unto the grounds
Where the urchins played at ball,
There stood a long deserted house,
4 mansion gAunt and tall,
And hardly i game Of bail took p1aco
But TINT 4 fnir-foul hit,
One Of the good sky-sczaping sort,
Would land the ball on i,
Whereon the game must fain be stopped
Till ND that mansion tall
4 boy Skinned by the water-spout,
And 70 regained the ball.
It's TIN. .nc,ent ceioner CO..;
Who has leased that mansion tall,
Upon the roof whereof the boys
Were want to lose the bali.
Round about the backyard he built
i lofty picket-fence,
Ind pared the yard with cobble-stones
Regardless Of cxpense>
And By the side Of the water-spout
fEuch NAa his desire to Dleaael he
Screwed on lot Of stanchions, SO
Is to make the climbing easy. -.
Aud then, resolved to put his kind
The Coroner got keg Of lard
And went and creased the roofl . -
It Is t,1e fourth dsy Of duly,
The day VIC celebrate,
The day the two mines play for the in
nios Championship of The State; m e..
The players are tossing the ball about,
The sszcrs gather near,
Bot one fanfliar face is missed
That OF the CoronereI
He sits in that stone paved backyard,
And ctoons an anthem sweet:
''Fsom the cavespout to the grounds about
One or two-and- -ffty feet.
And II q boy falls from that root
Upon thnse cobblc stones,
The chances arc that he will break
His neck as well as his bones.
There be eighteen players in those two nines
To-day thst playing be,
And each of those eighteen players shall
Tomorrow be NEST for me.
There are twelve jurors at dollar each
Whose fees keep myself,
Ind besides these the regular fees
Shall suelbmJ store OF pelf."
VI.
Thc Coroner sat and listened there,
There camea crash. The ball
Had certainly landed on the roof
OF that stately mansion tall.
he heard the breathing OF boy
Who BY those stanchious proof
Was climbing, stcadily climbing, up
To that well -lardcd roof.
Then he heard the sound OF slipping heels,
And with fearful cry
i meteor, with baac-ba cap,
Fell from the cloud1ess sky!
Lfele:s lay something on the stones;
The harvest had begun;
He murmured: ''Tal1y one!"
They fell the corpsce, In that yard,
For the next flve minutes or ten,
Like leaves in vallambrosa, or
Brave Custer and his men.
For as each player was seen to sca1e
And vanish on the root
Another player WAS dispatched
To pnI his fate to proof. 49,:
At last both mines exhausted were,
In the stone paved yard they lay;
The bright, the beautiful, were but
Eighteen bleeding Jumps OF clay
The Coroner left his lurking place
To count the corpses DER; -
~ shall win (sa1d he) eighteen timesmy fee;
Would that there were score!"
Bnt ere he finished had the words
TWO slipping heels sounded clear;
The umpire fell from the larded roof
And killed 1.-THE Coronerei