, 1876-03-12

oalIotlDs, tho PRESIDENT kindly offered to do Lady
Washington herself She said that she felt it
WIS not d favorable selection, but she WAS will
ing to take it, so that there need be no discus
sion or ill-feoling. If she thought sho had not
placed sufficiently modest estimate upon her
qualifications for tho post she waB presently set
at rest On that head. Her offer was received
with silence.
What M q Dc ron shinh7" ahe asked. "rn Sill-
Lady Washington never weighed $50
pounds, ominously hintcd thin laoy. with very
tight eyes
"she had fat enough on ler to greaee grid
Ole, Which is more'n some folks can claim" ro-
tosted the President, with anything but
dreamy expression to her face The tall lady's
eyes grew shade darker, and her lips shipped
themselves as if tnoy were saying 'hnssy." but
it is probable they were not.
''As our two friends are go little likely to
agree" observed q lady whose face showed TINT
she was nbout to metamorphoso herself into d
barrel of prime oil, and precipitato herself onto
take the characler.h
s'Humph!" calculated the President.
Is there any objection to my being Lady
Washington?" said the new party, facing ab-
ruptly tho President. md cmptyinG ont the oil
and filing up the barrel Immediately with
superior grade Of vinegar.
'1don't know OF auy, If Some one will demon
st1ate that Lady Washington had wart on her
nose." replied the President, with unblemished
serenity.
proprietor OF tic wart.
'*Tho truth ought not TO be insulting, replied
the President
II 'sposo our President thinks aha would he n
perfect Lady Washington, ironicaly suggested
weak-faced woman who saw her cnances for
taking the character deje:tsdly emerge from the
small end OF the horn.
II don't know as I would be perfect in thet
role" replied the President, but, as there will
be strangers present at the party, shouldn't
want them to think that tho nearest approach
Danbury could make to the dignity Of '7G was a
toothlcss woman down with the jaundice." And
tho head officer smiled serene1y at the ceiling.
''What do you mean, you inslnnating thing z"
hoarsely demanded tho victim Of tho jaundce.
keep your mouth shut until you arc spoken
to, then" several advised the President.
I'm not to be dictated to by a mountain OF
taIlow," hiEsed tho chronatlc delegate, tiounc-
ing out OF the room.
II think we'd better get another President
before We 60 any farther said sharp-fsced
woman Tors much depressed by the outlook for
at isn't hasdly time for you yet," observed
the President with q significant look at the
eharp-faced woman /; ''we will have to arrange
for Lady Washington aud George Washington
before no will need the Aatcliet."
The sharp-faced lady snatcLed up her mutt
without the faintest hesitation and rushed out
doors to got her breath. She was Immediately
followed by the proprietor Of the warr the thin
t1c tnntTiess casn Of ianniice. This Iaft Init tho
13;1ont NJ - 1;ttio wor,.r WIN L.J rot oaid
nothing
4tIIas it occurred to you that yon would like to
DO Lady Washngtosr2" asked the President
concentrating both Of her eyes on a Ten just un-
aer tae smai! Honans lelt ~.
oh' No. Baspea tue euia1l Nolnan: in1pui~
sl7ely co7eflne ny tne eAcresoeoce WILL net
hand:
''Ihan guess vel! adjourn SINE a!e, SAID
tho PRESIDENT, ana. Pulllhs on ner sioYes' sao
composed'y took nef aepartnfa;
And The tea-pa1ty became the 1rasnaens OF q
gloomy memory.
~r,r, r u,o,..u
ou;asHa IT n;.n. "o"Hm. nss.. n,o.. @,bo
ihe Se" o1leaus "'&S oas0' Anoeo VIZ
tho anlmated spectacle say that the |
scene at the Opera-House, directly after the |
OF tho doors for the matnee On
Sroa,,osd.v vos thu most ;nnressiva exhibition
:. ooneseAs "ss w ,,,;t,,aasad =,
OF woman 1o1co u caafac'e. e'os "tt.l''nsa ~
this quarter OF tho distracted world. Ihero
we're ct least 400 ladies, aud they were crowded |
nm against the entrance and on the stairgays |
~ =; nv ,rh,J, +bov a,r,ovlod and
1Ao sAla1u7s - oos' "als s2 ~ 49,
watched ana grew 1oVeflsn1Y lnpaI1ont lot @oe
first chance to rueh wildly into the auditorium
Dlr. McKenua accordingly effected unusual pre- !
cautious in preparing for tho rush which ho |
Those familiar with tho Opera-Houae interior |
viii recolIoct tho Square incloburs through |
which visitors pass to tho theatre after enter1ng
tue outer door Me agnss 4a;J sna wo9oon
u ounu ~ ;|str1ct,ono ~ hrece firmly nrainst it.
'rhe ' eirhteon M being we'll braced and all being
Eolidly fixed Nc gave the signal to open tho
DOORS With roar, . rush and sweep IKE ne the
%1lrt%tu W t%at small 9ncosnre Like Ike tho
,nnSe. trn 1 af an ancry eeas thoy bore down upon
tho noble aighteen, and 10! in trice, the |
noble eighteen we're not. They we're cut down
in Hash, Along with the f1ais fence, and over
their prostrato bodies, screaming, shouting
women rushed into the auditorium, IS if life 4ad
but ono mission, one purpoze' one ambition, aug
that to provide cach woman with front seat.
Tho youths whose bus'uesa 1t was to take
tickots took no tickets just then, for they wont
down in tho general wreck. McAenna woala
have said something, appropriate to the occa~
sion, bu. uuhappil3 he was also "recEed. ~
solutely lying on tho floor, aud Momen stepping
at over him. as Il no wero l'rnsso'o ea1pe:'
instead Of o nobb5 young theatrical manager.
IA the ladies rushed along 10 taat , sweeping ea3
tido, they. recognized the fact that tue ticket
takers wore tritle oil, ana a so 80 throwing @ + tncn