The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-09-16
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
Cas- you see me, dearest ?'' said a Chicago
to his dying wife. '' Tell me, can you set
me?'' '' No. she family whispered, g but car
smell your breath"
EVERY man has his chain and his clog, only il
is looser and lighter to man than another;
and he is more at ease who takes it up than he
who drags it.
ABOUT as mean position as any man can put
himself into is to work all the time for the devil,
and look all the time to the Lord for his pay
Josh Billings.
Texas papers are holding up their hands in
holy horror over much-married chap, who proves
20 have wives in no les than different cities.
The in-ten-city of that fellows affections fully
justi6es their exclamation.
Ann observed Danbury houae-keeper to
the hired girl, the other morning, - az ne have
entered upon the dawn of another century OF our
nations history, guess you had better get 3
toothbrush of your Own.
SEvERE.-A rural editor, wishing to be severe
upon another, remarks, 50 subscriber Of
in this place tried few days ago to carry home
some lard in copy of that paper, but on reach
ing home, found that the concentrated lie had
changed it to soap"
The MosT DIFFICULT. .--Moliere was asked the
reason why, in certain countries, the king may
assume the crown at Ia years of age, and cannot
marry before Is. "It is,' answered Moliere,
'' because it is more difficult to rule wife than
kingdom. "
A PHILOSOPHER says never yet heard man
OF woman much abused that was not inclined
to think the better of them, and transfer any sus
picion or dislike to the person who appeared to
take delight in pointing out the defects of fell
low-creature.
It was no bad word on some of the commen-
saries written the Bine, that of the old Scotch
woman, who. ON being presented with one by her
minister, and lie inquirIng few days after if she
liked it, replied, '' Ay, man, it's guide book,
and the Bible explains it amazingly"
Ar best, life is not very long. a few more
smiles, a few more tears, some pleasure. much
pain, sunshine and song, clouds and darkness,
hasty greetings, abrupt rewells-tben our littis
play will close, and injured and inurer will pass
away. Is il worth while to hate each other?
4 DISTINCTION AND DIFFERENcE-Jones has
discovered the respective natures of a distinction
and difference. He says that 50 a little differ
ence'' frequently makes many enemies, while ga
little distinction attracts hosts of friends to the
onesun whom it is conferred.
ApvERTIsISG.-Some people don't believe in
advertising, because they say, "Nobody reads
the papers," But let them get into scrape,
and you will find them flying around to the news
paper Offices with the request a. Please don't
mention that little affair, It's mistake; don't
wish my name published all over the country"
INFANT MusIc-Perhaps children are the silver |
cords that bind to heaven, and yet man |
doesn't think about that who, after listening till |
q. m. to the music of his infant, just glances /
weariy at his watch. and remarks to his wife, |
nNy dear, I think I'll Just go into the garden /
and try to get little sleep"
Parry with cold in his head to party opposite /
trefcrripg to open window in railway carl /
:, Saw wId you shub up widow p Middle-aged 1
Eeroale in weeds who has been talking the last /
half hour, turning round Indignantly: g WHAT
DO you mean, sir? 1t is pretty how-de-do when
a woman can't open her mouth L II have you 70
know that you can't shut me up !" Sensa-
tion.
"Olive Harper" writing from the Centensial
Exhibition says:
The number Of stupid and ridiculous questions
asked by visitors 70 the persons in charge of the
different exhibits would I'll volume daily.
One old gentleman approached Mr.. Morgan, the
polite gentleman in charge OF the Peruvian
section, where the mummies were. After look
ing at them in silence awhile, he returned and
asked if the gentleman thought they had been
embalmed,
Another old gentleman in company with some
,adies, asked Mr.. Morgan what country was
by that section.
:. Peru, SIR was the response. u. B.--Ihe
name and coat-of-arms. etc, are placed over the
DOORS INSIDE and out).
s. Perusa Perusa!" said The old man, q" why
never heard tell Of such country!
A lady asked fat Chinaman, IN TIE Chinese
section. If the ladies in his country were as
as the ladies here. 'That depends,
madam said John.
Depends? depends upon what?'
Their conduct. madam; if you judge by
that, our ladies are the most beautiful.
She don't ike the Heather Chinee any more.
The japanese don't like American ladies because
hey take such long steps dpd walk mp stairs
However, they arc very much admired BY the
aides here