, 1876-12-02
AN HOUR IN. COURT.
His Honor looked very plea

ycoGcIuhJ, 90 AO UoOHA AA0 ~ ~
glanced over the docket. In fact
the prospects of the Seattle Il Walls
Walla railroad are enough to raise
well-springs of joy in every human
heart and judges are but men after
all. He called up the first case
and blear-eyed woman, whose face
bore unmistakable evidences of ele-
waiting the little finger, appeared
before the bar of offended justice.
COMPARATIVE PHILOSOPHY.
Mary O'Kinchela, you are charg-
ed with the crime of assault and
battery on a little boy. tender
cherub of twelve years named Stuff
McGulligan. Are you guilty or moi
guilty ?"
mot guilty, sor. God knows
I'm as innocent as yer Honor's
suckin' babe at the brisht," replied
Mrs. O'kinchela.
boy, how did your eye gel
blacked that way" inquired the
Court.
"Thee thtruck me, thir," lisped
the mutilated seraph.
"Yis, sor," pleaded the dame,
I" and he was follyin' me around and
callin' me d quare ould gal, SO he
was"
WE'LL" hesitated the Court, edo
you think yourself any better than
Mrs. Duniway ?" "No, sor,' sobbed
the female O'Kinchela. "Well
then, that amt marker for what
Mart Brown has called her, and she
hasn't cowhided him yet," replied
his Honor.
I'll do it no more, yer Honor
"I don't think you will, Madam
at least not after you've washed
red shirts enough to enable you to
pay the ten-dollar fine I'm going to
impose upon you
Must I pay it now, sor?
"Yes-or go to the tombs of Sc.
sostris. The great law maxim o1
I" De mort,tis nil misi- -bonuna," which
means dead things will crawl" is
a standing rule of this Court"
The Hibernian female pungled a
roll of silver and went home to hel
desolate hearthstone, while STUFF
McGulligan followed at respect
full distance, singing:
&c Oh, let us sing for the funny old gal
Oh, let us sing for the funny old gal
Oh, let us sing before its too la e
For :he funny old gal from Webfoot State.
A BEsPATTERED REFORMER.
Hans Steiffelbacher, what dc
you mean by building a Renaissance
cupoia over that mans eye, there 2
inquired the Court.
"Vell, shudge, dot man und
minezelf We don't pin goot frens fol
fear years. He makes lofe NIT mein
gal in Penpsyldelphia back und
yesterday 1 walks down Sherry
shdreed py new haus. He vas UP
on dop of dot haus und pours 9
pucket of vitevash all over me-
Well" Intercepted the Court
care you any better man than Henry
Ward Beecher %
II dinks SO needer," pleaded the
disconsolate Steffelbacher.
"Well," continued his Honor
"they whitewashed Sir. Beecher in
Brooklyn, over a year ago, and he
hasn't licked anybody yet. You
ought to be ashamed to tackle a poor
little fellow like Pumpernickle, yon-
der and plant red cabbage to grow
ing over his eye."
"Oof it blease der Gort''-
"Well, it don't please the Court,
by big bag of beahs," interrupted
Rhadamanthus; 1--WE won't have it
that way. You can go up to a new
building next door to the Seattle
Brewery, whose inmates are who'll,
unable to appreciate the beauty O
its architecture. There may be ar
eclipse of the sun between this an6
Christmas, but you won't see it-ir
any light"
And the ill-starred Stefelbache1
went up for sixty days.
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
''Brian McGurk, what did yor
vaccinate Jim Pagan in the nose for
last night ?"
He towld me I was lard, yel
Honor" replied the humiliated Nc
Gurk.