The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-10-27


by the honest citizen aforesaid in aid of
conspiracy the burglars were TO deposit the
books in the citizens office. There, not
only the books, but the burglars, and es-
pecially the citizen himself were to he
seized by policemen, who were waiting
outside for the purpose. The central idea
of this group of villains was, to make the
public believe that the Investigator him
self had employed the burglars. This be-
ing penitentiary offence, of course his
wholesome efforts at thief ferreting would
be brought to instant grief, and the coast
be again clear to Ulysses and his thieving
friends. That the conspiracy aborted, does
not lessen the truth of our parallel: it sim
ply shows that the devil, fortunately, can't
accomplish everything he undertakes.
PARALLEL VI.
The ancient Ulysses had the presump-
ton to take charge of the winds, confined
in bags, and loosely offered him by the god
Eolus, who, by the by, must have been
very dry old wag indeed. Ulysses in
very brief space of time proved lamenta-
bly, unequal to the occasion. The winds
broke loose and destroyed all his fleet ex-
cept his own ship. This was thrown upon
the coast of Africa, where all his compan-
ions were changed, by famous magician.
into hogs. He himself escaped this fate
by means of an herb which he had received
from Mercury, the god of thieves.-Mem.
The old hero, Gas well as the new one) was
always accepting tavors from some of the
light-fngered gentry.
Our Ulysses had the presumption to sup
pose that he could sway the stormy politi-
cal elements raging in this country. 81
accept the responsibility without fear"
he said, quite gratuitously, and with
Jove.like air. Nevertheless the winds
burst from his feeble control and soon be-
gan to threaten that universal ruin which
is still imminent Shutting the danger of
disastrous wreck, he became, as usual soli-
citous only for the safety Of his own ship,
and shaped her course accordingly. De-
spite all his efforts, however, he was
wrecked, mainly by "hugging" Africa too
closely. Such of his companions as were
not here changed into carpet baggers were
changed into what are perhaps almost as
tionable-animals closely resembling
swine to those who are acknowledged
judges of an unclean beast. This latter
did not require the agency
of magician, inasmuch as the change
necessary to be made was but slight.
Ulysses himself has, so far, escaped this
fate, not, however, by virtue of any stolen
herb, but simply by the skin of his teeth.
PARALLEL VII.
On another occasion the ancient Ulysses
stole and killed some oxen
sacred to Apollo; for which offence the in
dignant god raised storm and destroyed
the ships; all on board being drowned ex-
cept Ulysses, who saved himself on plank,
and swan to the Island of Calypso, the
in whose arms he soon forgot
all about native land. Calypso, on part
ing, told him that if he would descend to
the internal regions he would there find
out his future, which he did.
The carpet-bag companions of the mod
ern Ulysses constantly steal not only oxen,
but mules, sheep, hogs, chickens, or any
thing else they can lay their loyal hands
on. For these acts, together with their
other countless iniquities, the Almighty is
now brewing Il political cyclone that will
engnlf them all. Our Ulysses, (more for
tunate than the captive BOSS" whom he
ought, in Justice, to accompany to Albany,
if it were not too rough on the ku-klux"
whom our hero himself sent there,) may
possibly escape on certain small plank
that was thrown out to him from that crazy
old craft, the Cincinnati, as a tub offering
to the whale, not so much with the view
of pleasing the whale, as by pleasing the
whale, to save the ship. Upon this plank
it is just possible that he may float away
to some lone island, where sylph may be
found to console him and make him for
get what little lie ever knew about his
native land and then tell him to descend
to "Pluto's drear abode" Tor, in phrase
less polite, to go to held, that he may learn
over again, in a new school, better adapted
to his tastes, all he had forgotten. The
far greater probability, however, is that he
will strike directly upon the mouth of Salt
river, where boat will await MIN for rapid
up stream.
PARALLEL VIII.
When the ancient Ulysses, in accordance
with Calypso's advice, visited the internal
regions to seek counsel concerning the
government of his future life, after getting
all the information he needed on that head,
he returned to earth. One piece of intor-
nation which he received there was to the
effect that he should die by the agency
of something that was to issue from the
sea-"
Our Ulysses was killed by malarial
Haze that issued from the G.. convention.
AS regards visits to the internal regions,
if we are to judge our hero by the kind
of measures which he adopts, and the num-
Der of them, we may safely suppose that
a journey to that place, for counsel is, with
HIM, an every day matter. The danger
which his friends have most to apprehend
from this vicious habit is that he will so
once too often, and stay there.
ChnchciNe, October, 1876. G. w. A.