Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1876-10-05
The FOSS divorce Case.

Mr.. and Mrs. Fogg knocked at the
door of Colonel Dangers law office,
and then filed in. Mrs. Fogg in advance.
Mr.. FoCg was a timid, subdued, weak:
eyed person in spectacles. lie had the
air of a victim of perpetual tyranny
of q man who had been ruthlessly and
remorselessly sat upon, until his back
bone was wholly gone. And Mrs. Fogg
looked rs if she might have been his
despot. She opened the conversation
by addressing the lawyer.
''Colonel, have called to engage
you as my council in divorce suit
against Mr.. Fogg. have resolved to
separate from him-to sunder our ties,
and henceforth live apart
Indeed" replied the Colonel, Il IN
sorry to hear that. What's the mat
ter! Been beating and ill.treaiing
you!''
"Beating!'' exclaimed Mrs. Fosg
disdainfully. II should think not. l
should like him to try it,
''Maria, let me- interposcd Mr..
Fogg, timidly.
''Now, Wilberforce, she exclaimed,
interrupting him, "you remain quiet.
ly, will explain this matter to Colonel
Bangor! You see, Colonel, Mr.. Fogg
is eccentric beyond endurance. He
goes on continually in manner that
will certainly drive me to distraction.
l can stand it no longer. We must be
cut asunder. For years, Colonel, Will
berforce has been attempting to learn
to play upon the flute. He has no
more idea of music than 4 coal scuttle,
but he will try to learn. He has been
practicing upon the flute since 1862,
and he has learned but a portion of
one tune, Nelly Bly, He can play
hut four notes Nelly bly, shuts,
and there he stops. lie practiced
those four notes for fourteen years.
He plays them upon the porch in the
evening he blows them out from the
garrett; he stands out in the yard and
puffs them; has frequently risen in
the night and seized his flute and
played Nelly Bly, shuts for hours,
until l had to scream to relieve my
feelings"
snow, Maria,'' said Mr.. Fogg, ''you
know can play as far as shuts her
eye;' six notes in all. l learned them
in the early part of June
every we'll, now; it's of no conse.
quence. Don't interrupt me; this is
bad enough. I submitted to it because
I loved him. But on Tuesday, while
was watching him through the crack
of the parlor door, l saw him wink
twice at my chambermaid.'
''Maria! - shrieked Fogg, "this is
scandalous. You know very we'll that
l am suffering from nervous affection
of the eye-lids! -
"Wilberforce, hush In addition to
this wickedness, Colonel, Mr.. Fogg is
becoming so absent-minded that he
torments my life ; he makes me utterly
wretched. Four times now has he
brought his umbrella to bed with llin
and scratched me by jogging it around
with the sharp points OF the ribs to.
ward me. What on earth he means I
cannot imagine. He said he thought
somehow it was the baby, but that is
80 preposterous that can hardly be-
lieve him."
"Why can't you! Don't you remem-
Der perfectly well that l emptied a
bottle of milk into the umbrella twice!
Would have done that if I hadn't
thought it was the baby
"There now, Wilberforce, that s
enough from you. DO let me have a
chance to talk And, Colonel, the real
baby he beats in the most malignant
manner. came in on Thursday, and
found that he had laid the large fami.
ly Bible ON the darling's stomach. It
was at the last gasp. never thought
it would recover
maria, didn't tell ysu that gave
it to the child to play with, to keep
him quiet p
''Mr. Fogg, will you please let me
get a word in edgeways? Our older
children, too, he is simply running. He
teaches them the most pernitiOus and
hurtful doctrines. He told Johnny,
the other day, that Madagascar was an
island in the Peruvian ocean, off the
coast of Illinois, and that a,'alrus was
a kind of race horse used by the Carri-
bees. And our oldest girl told me that
he instructed her that Polycarp fought
the battle of Bunker Hill for the pur.
pose of defeating the Saracens.
''Not the Sarlcens, Maria; Lucy
misunderstood"
s'Wilberforce, / wish you would
hush! His general treatment of me
was scandalOus. He was constantly
taking my teeth for the purpose of
knocking around the spigot in the bath
tub at night, when the baby wanted
drink, and only last week he took both
sets after I had gone to bed, propped
them apart, baited them with cheese,
and caught two horrid mice before
morning. was so hurt by his behav.