Lexington weekly intelligencer., 1876-08-19
MR.. SMITHS BOY.
His Startling Statements About His
Family.

His Startling Statements About His
Family.
Max Adeler has the following to re-
late in the Philadelphia Bulletin: A
family named Smith has recently moved
to Germantown, and Mr. Browns boy,
last Saturday, leaned over the fence and
gave to our reporter his impressions of
Mr. Smiths boy, lad about four years
old:
eyes, me and him are right we'll ac-
quainted now; he knows more'n | do,
and he's had more experience. Bill
says his father used to be robber
(Smith. by the way, is a deacon in the
Presbyterian church, and very excel
lent lawyer), and then he has SO, 0,OO0,-
900 in gold buried in his cellar along
with a lot of human bones of people he's
killed. And he says his father is Il con-
jurer, and that he makes all the earth
quakes that happen anywhere in the
world. The old manW come home at
night, after there's been an earthquake,
all covered with sweat, and so tired he
can hardly stand. Bill says it's. such
hard work -" +.'.t ,.,t,
''And Bill tole nae that once when n
man came around there trying to sell
lightning rods, his father got mad and
ct him; ct him right up; and he takes
bites out Of everybody he comes acrost.
That's what Bill tells me. That's
all know about it. And he tole me that
once he used to have a dog, one Of those
little kind of dogs, and he was flying his
kite, and just for fun he tied the kite
string onto his dogs tail. And then the
wind struck her and his dog went
aboomin' down the street, with his hind
legs in the air for about mile, when
the kite all of a sudden begun to 60 up,
and in about minute the dog was iif-
teen miles high, and commanding a
view OF California, and Egypt, and Osh-
kosh, think Bill said. He came down
anyhow know in Brazil, and Bill said
he swum home all the way i'll the Allan
tic ocean, and when he landed his legs
was all nibbled Off by sharks.
l wish father'd buy me dog, SOS
could send him up that. way. But
never have no luck. Bill said that where
they used to live he went out on the
roof one day to fly his kite, and he sat
on top of the chimbly to give her plenty
of room, and while he was sitting there
thinking of nothing, the old man put a
kag of powder down below in the fire.
place to clean the SCOT out of the chm.
bly,. And when he touched her off Bill
was blowed over agin the Baptist church
steeple, and he landed on the weather,
cock, with his pants torn, and they
couldn't get him down for three days
so he hung there, going round and
round with the wind, and he lived by
| f1,af md
him, because they thought he was made
Of sheet-iron and put there on purpose
s'He's had more fun than enough. HI
was telling me about sausage-s -stutfe
his brother invented. 1t was q kinde
machine that worked with a treadle, and
Bill said the way they did in the fall wa:
to fix 1t on the hogs back, and connec
the treadle with a string, and then TIN
hog'd work the treadle and keep ON run
ming it up and down until the machin
cut the hog up fine and showed the mea
into the skins. Bill SAID his brother call
ed it Every Hog His Own Stuffer, an
it worked splendid. But, I dunno
Pears to mes if there couldn't be n
machine like that. But, anyway, Bil
said so. ttr,,t air g.. ..s1 il-n-. suu4H
"And he tole me about an uncle @
his out in Australia who was ct by BIZ
,, oyster once, and when he got inside h
staId there until he'd ct the oyster
Then he split the shells open and too
half one for a boat, and he sale
, along until he met 4 sea-serpent, an
!. killed it and drawed Off his skin, an
: when he got home he sold it to an el
:. gine company for a hose for $40, 900
put cut fires with. Bill said that wa
actually SO, because he could show m
= man who used to belong to the engin
, company. l wish father'd let me go OF
to find Il sea serpent like that but h
. don't let me have no chance to distil
- guish myself.
"Bill was saying only yesterday tn:
= the Indians caught him once and dro,
eleven railroad spikes through his ston
ach, and cut off his scalp, and it new
hurt him bit. He said he got away
d the daughter of the chief sneaking hi
s out of the wigwam and lending him
G horse. Bill says she was III love Wi
:, him, and when / asked him to let II
v see the holes where they drove in the
d spikes, he said he darsn't take off
II clothes or he'd bleed to death. He sa
v his own father didn't know it, becau
d Bill was afraid it might worry the o
a man. .s..-s s-t
d 'And Bill told me they wasn't goil
:, to get him to go to Sunday school.
). says his father has brass idol that
1 keeps in the garret, and Bill says hi
" made up his mind to be a Pagan, q
It begin to go naked and carry a tomahaw
it and a bow and arrow, as soon as I
D. warm weather comes. And to prove
4 to me, he says his father has this to,
n all underlaid with nitro o-glycerine, a
J. as soon as he gets ready he's going
G. blow the old thing out, and bust her I
,r let her rip and demolish her He sa
G. so down at the dam, and tole me not
1T tell anybody, but l thought it'd be
1 harm in mentioning it to you.
I ''And now l believe | must be goin
hear Bill 4 whstling. Maybe Ii
got something else to tell me-"
The Smith boy, we think, will
N Nie profitable to the youth of this co
u. Is munity.
TO