, 1876-10-29
HUki0R,

Is In extenuatton OF fault What next!
r HUM0R.
Is "Banging" the hair has been fashionabl
Banging the door to keep out the 'air Is the stg
- =, now.
Stoves are shipped from this country to No
way, and ships are often stove on the coast I
e Norway. ~'>'''
y Inquisitive Scotch School-Board officer I
Hibernian parent" Was your boy born in Glat
!. cae?" "No, sor, an hope be never will be!
u The tramp who strayed into farmers prem
Z fses and tried to make of with cheese cam
: out with black eye, acknowledging that be ba
: been rather dairylicked in the pursuit Of h
: dnties-
: A negro witness in a trial the other day VA
asked what he Was doing in certain saloon a
,, a certain time. He explained that be had gon
there to s'change his bref." The explanation
was accepted.
The longest sentence on record was con
structed By Western Judge. He sentenced,
murderer for life, and afterward slapped tn.
more years to the sentence because the prisone
called him "no gentleman"
uptown saloonist raised three beets in iftee1
minutes, the three weighing in the aggregate
45O pounds. They were dead-beats, and ht
"raised" them with his boot.
Absolutely the most startling doub1e-bar
relied shot we ever read was the New York
Graphte's comment upon the case Of the woman
who was poisoned by wearing green ven:
"Why should tissue taint youha
Hate subscriber {excited and pointing to an
objectionable article)-"What does that mean!
| Every statement Is false" Editor gazing re.
fectiyely at the article in questionG"I
shouldn't wonder Il the whole article WAS q
typographical error"
4 student IN Paris, after passing three years
in the Latin Quarter, wrote to his father as fol-
lows: II hare made up my mind to set to
work, dear father; therefore, I should like IA
know whether it WIS law or medicine that
came to Paris to study?"
Though millions Of fractional currency ar,
daily handled in the Treasury Department, no
cent Of 1t Is ever lost on the floor. That Is thu
reason the janitor Is often seen sitting In tho
door with detected countenance, combing his
broom with mustache-com
4 publisher who always gives chrome lately
purchased large number Of pictures Of Niagara
Falls After advertising them for time With
very poor results IN the way Of subscriptions, he
turned them upside down, and announced
brand new chrome OF s 4 Prairie on Fire.
A beggar, accompanied BY his dog, stands at
'"Have pity on the bind" He is caught atten-
lively regarding coin dropped into his cup.
.Ah! you can see, them "Yes.'' "Why
then this plaeard"a sit Is not for myself /
beg. It is my dog who Is blind"
A banker has some doubts as to the genuine
ness OF the signature Of promissory note that
has come into bis possession, and sends his clerk
to the maker. I'VE have note for 1000
franss on which is What purports to be your sig-
n1srs No z9g1s bsn s not the " note pr9sssts'
per.
In village NOT hundred miles from Cork
medical gentleman WAS disturbed by repeated
tappings at his door, and, on getting M, found
q 'aoor1ng man soliciting his immediate attend
9s {G5 {hh his wts HaSe yoq been long hele
Pat. "But why didn't you ring the night belim
Honor"
Ihe Wretched manner in which some Of the
houses are built in New York has long been the
subject OF grave. apprehension. These fears
nave ,, neen recently realized BY the fate Of an
'front.' window, stepped upon the portico, when
the capstone gave way, fell With and upon him,
and became his gravestone- The builder OF the
house has thus lar eVaded arrest,-Boston Com
nercial Bulletin
!. How often In the bright days OF our prosper-
sy ~ Mnen te opd ene hours ay Past on goen wings
ness, are We stunned by the shock OF unforeseen
and reverse, like boy who,
s1tn his guileless countenancc wreathed In the
'au4es Luat alc the reflex OF happiness at his
leart, slides down the front-stair bannisters to
n lnd, alas! that some one has left the hall-lamp
lifting Oh the lower post.--Burkngtoa Harkye
when Mr. Thomas Fitch had got through
peak1ng at Fruckee q few nights ago, he was
ppEoaeled p; BY an individual who was somewhat
N, 3naer 5he weather, who shook his hand and
We bin !istnin' to you talk and may say that
admired yer speech. Your'n orator an I'm
ambier could be n'orator ef wanted ter,
ut, shaw won't have it. drink an gamble;
u1 tnere's one temptation I'm goin to resist,
nd that's bein' an'orator.n-Eureta {tYty) Sks-
mel.
an agent for the sale Of some household sztf-
&c attempted to mount the steps Of house re-
emily, put dog came around the corner and
20. ,ok half at yard Of cloth from the back Of bis
; }at. T.. Ihe man was sliding out when the owner
tue house came and asked: ssDid doze dog
ID Ide you;a," He didn't bite NC, but he ruined
y ;ss e9at n3a n vas the reply my goot friend e1
22ung dog now, but BY and By be shall take holt
some = agents and cat der bones ride oud Of
,em. he bides coat now, but he shall soon do