The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1876-09-14
number of stripes for the rebel flag"
HOW TO KEEP YOUR WEES LOVE.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR WEES LOVE-
Gale Forest gives the following advice
in the last Weekly Times. She prac-
Accommodation the allopathic prin'
ciples of "OPpOsites:"
Resolve firmly from the start that you
will never coax your wife to love to you
AS you would a child-with sugar
plums.
In society, treat her-no, don't treat
her at all; pay no attention to her, but
devote yourself with exclusive zeal to
the entertainment of the young ladies
present, and leave her to take care Of her
self. This course will win you not only
their respect and hers, but undoubtedly
that of the entire cOmpany-for only
fools in these days expect man to play
lover to his wife.
Should your wife receive a show OF
attention from some other masculine, be-
come fend of jealousy at once, and
make her life miserable at home by un-
lust accusations and violent expOstula-
tions against such unseemly conduct in
your wife. Or, if you are a different
sort of man, act the part of dog in the
manger-never take your wife anywhere
yourself, nor allow her if you can help it
land l hope you can't) to go with any
one else. Should her love not appear to
increase under such persuasive treat
ment, be still more demonstrative- catch
up the carving-knife occasionally and
flourish it threateningly over her shrink
ing head, or practice violent "laying on
of hands" upon her-nOthing more et-
fective than mans main strength for
holding a woman's love.
Never give up a single one of your
bachelor habits-smoke your dozen
OF more cigars every day, go to your
club, treat all the "felIows" you meet,
belong to a half dozen lodges and
continue all your other pet vices,
and then never fail to remark as you
hand vour wife her weekly allowance
which, of course, you have scrimped
down to the last penny, as becomes your
manly generosity-that at this rate OF ex-
travagance on her part you shall be
ruined in less than year; and add, as
you bring your clenched fist in contact
with the table in a way to make your
wife and the dishes SILVER in concert,
q Economy, madam, economy must be
the rule and not the exception in this
house hereafter"-as if it had not been
heretofore.
Should she dare to demonstrate, ask
her in quelling tones, who earns the
money; and then triumphantly march
away to settle few of your own little
debts and respond to a call far charity
preferred by Beauty in purple and fine
linen" You will doubtless leave your
wife meditating with swelling heart on
your exceeding magnanimity.
Make q practice of dragging your
business into the house and worrying
about 1t morning, noon and night, but at
no other time; or, while you are at
home be deaf, dumb and blind to your
wife and family, sparing all your bril-
liancy for outsiders.
Cultivate the charming habit of prais-
ing, in glowing terms, the beauties and
virtues of other women, which you are
conscious are most strikingly different
from those possessed by your wife. This
rule aithfully carried out, will effect
wonders.
Never allow yourself to forget that
your wife's mother means your mother
in.law, with all the name implies.
After wearing your wife's life out try
Ing, by these means, to keep her love,
discover that she In not your affinity,
and endeavor TO impress the fact upon
her mind This last resort never fails.
Upon earnestly trying 1t, you will have
her love, or It's opposite, forever.
why didn't kill somebody 2
u