The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-03
Pith and Point.

Music for the dinner table" When
| the swallows homeward fy."-Comnser-
cidl Bulletin.
AN Iowa Judge says that man may
legally kiss his hired girl if he can
swear he thought it was his wife.
"Do YOU like Goldfish balls, Mr.. Wig
ginsY" Mr.. Virgins (hesitatingly)-
"I really don't know; don't recollect
attending one."
JONES, who is an incorrigible bach
elor, says he has decided to wait till he
is old, and then have golden wedding.
He always wanted to pluck the rose with
out the thorn.
A BOY has written a composition on
the turtle, in which he says: GA turtle
is not 80 frisky as a man, but he can
stand hot coal on his back longer with
out squalling."
NORWICH Bulletin. ga little 5-year-
old daughter of one of our citizens yes
terday expressed her knowledge of where
the rain came from by telling her mother
that Jesus had turned the faucet and
let all the water out.
A MAN may love domestic quiet and
harmony enough to keep his mouth shut
| while his wife's relations are In the
house, but when he sees one of his fine
ruffied shirts on his brother-in-law, what
wonder if he feels that he must go down
in the cellar and shovel coal or bust.
The first step toward making man
of your son is to train him to earn what
he spends then the best way to teach
him to be frugal is to take away hls
money as fast as he earns it, and spend
it wisely for yourself. There is nothing
like teaching the young by example. -
Burlington HaaOk-Eye.
NOTHING makes young man 80 happy
as to get around to the Postoffice after
it is closed, and see letter in his box
to have his heart whisper that it is from
her, to dream sweet and tender fancies,
hallowed with loves sacredness, all
night, and to come down in the morn
ing and find it bill of $3.50 for his
last years underclothes. s.-NOr,0tch BuI-
Letin.
NOT long ago the heather in China
made sudden and remarkable demand
for copies of the Bible. The mission
aries were delighted a great work was
dUOub W Oo dCCOLupliohOus h1OihchOW
the converts didn't come up to the altar.
Upon investigation it was found that the
Bibles had been applied to the curing
of another kind of sole altogether
paper soles for shoes.
AN English visitor to the Centennial
wandered into a cheap restaurant In
Shanty Town and ordered steak. After
desperate efforts to overcome its tough
ness he next asked for q napkin. The
landlord came out from the kitchen III
his shirt sleeves and addressed the as
tonished guest in indignant terms:
"Sa-ay, young feller, this amt no Con-
tinental. The next thing you'll be want.
ing, suppose, is grand pianer.
WHEN could crack nut
With my molars in my jaws,
With teeth all white and steadfast
And innocent of flaws
laughed at angry Fortune,
Made light Of coming sorrow,
Was happy all to-day,
And careless of tomorrow.
trusted men and women.
And women best, maybel-
| oh. pleasant that Spring time
To my teeth and mel
But now, when teeth are shaky,
And going one by one,
hnd, like Israels monarch,
Small good beneath the sun.
l cannot crack q nut,
/ cannot find TRUTH
Or man lovely woman,
Like those / found in youth.
Put back, oh cruel Fortune,
Thy sword into its sheath,
Let me believe in something,
| And contradict my teeth