davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

Be decent first and heroic if there be
time to dress yourself. That is the decision
of the staid old magistrates at Woodbridge,
Eng Jones was plying a towel in bath
ing machine at Felixstowe one morning
after a bath, when he heard shouts for a
boat hook from house rot far off. Jones
fancied that somebody was drowning, and
being a good-natured soul and an expert
swimmer, ran along the shore for about
quarter of a minute, and plunged into the
breakers to rescue-a bathing suit, which,
being somewhat inflated, resembled a help
less and corpulent fellow w-creature. Now
Jones, in his reckless zeal to save human
life, had been so indiscreet as to leave his
clothes, his bathing dress, even his towl
behind him, and his chagrin at finding the
clothes without anything but air inside was
so overpcwering that he lost his head, and
instead Of putting on the floating suit he
tucked it under his arm and swan back to
his own toweling. Unfortunately, a London
attorney was on the ground with his wife
and family and they were dreadfully
shocked. Was there not an act of Parlia.
ment to protect the public against such
indecent exhibitions? Well, there was.
The magistrate could not fine him on con.
viction, but would have been compelled to
send him to prison. Jones seemed to be a
well-meaning fellow, and mercy should
season justice; they directed him to sub.
scribe e5 to the Suffolk Hospital. This he
refused to do, and the case is now in the
courts. Poor Jones He may as we'll let
the next man drown.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

DECORATING ADINNER TABLE.-The grace
tul decorations of dinner table, though il
may, in the highest degree, partake some
what of the character of an art in its
simpler expression is within tho capabili.
ties OF any one. A bouquet Of choice
flowers, a bunch of ferns, SO readily and
cheaply obtainable, when placed on the
dinner table enhance the pleasure of
meal. A few sprigs of parsley arranged on
dish is an ornamentation which gives
additional zest to food. Between lobster.
even unadorned, when served with care,
and one slung on the table, there is exactly
the difference which exists between the
same shell-fsh seen on gentleman's table,
and the crustacean when exposed for sale
on the fsh-dealers slab, Even in such a
trivial thing as the serving of food to the
guest, something of proper taste and
good breeding may be made manifest 1t
is treat to watch deft cook serving
dinner. tits triumph of practical skill.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

The carved stones over the grave ofJohn
Bunyan, whose remains for nearly two
hundred years past have rested in the
Bunhill Fields Nonconformist burying
ground, will, unless steps are speedily
taken, become almost unrecognizable.
Although restored as late as 1862, owing
partly to atmospheric causes, but more to
the vandalism Of tourists visiting the eshrine,
the more prominent portions of the sculp-
ture are rapidly disappearing.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

VEAL CHEEsE.-Take out the bone from
shoulder of veal. Cut into small pieces
and stew until tender, with just enough
water to cover. Take away all the gristle {;
chop the meat very fine, and return to the
liquor it was boiled in. Then add one
pound cold boiled pork, chopped very fine;
one spoonful Of salt, one teaspoon each Of
pepper and mace, and variety of sweet
herbs and two well-beaten eggs. Put ali
into an earthen dish, cover with a nlate
and bake one hour, To be sliced and eater
cold, A nice relish for lunch or tea,
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

An eminent English physician points out
in the London Times that scurvy still pre-
walls in the British mercantile navy, al.
though lime juice is abundantly used, while
American vessels are comparatively free
from it. Potatoes, according to the above
authority, are specific against scurvy,
and he strongly urges the carrying Of pre-
served potatoes on all long voyages.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

A countryman went to see his lady,love,
and, wishing to be conversational, observed,
"The thermomokran is twenty degrees
above scion this evening" Eyes" limo.
Gently replied the maiden, "such kinds of
birds do fly higher some seasons of the year
than others.n
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

One Of the curiosities Of the Emperor Of
Russia's palace at Tsarskoe Selo is the Horse
Asylum, where the Imperial chargers live
IN snug quarters when they are no longer
fit for use. Near the comfortable stables
Is the cemetery, where the history of MANY
famous steed may be read in the inscrip
tons on the tombstones. The rooms
which present the greatest historical
interest are those which were occupied bv
Emperor Alexander l., and which arc
shown exactly as he loft them; and the
chamber which is considered as the great
est curiosity is the room in which all the
walls are of amber. Beyond the garden, in
front of that part of the palace occupied by
their Majesties, is little island in which
there is Russian cottage, garden, cow.
house-in short, complete establishment
on diminutivo scale, arranged for the
of the Duchess of Edinburpb
when she was child.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

AMERICAN AND EUROPEAN RAILROADS. Cow.
PARED.-After a tour up and down tho Con.
tident, Colonel Forney concludes that
nowhere in the world can you enjoy the
railroad SO completely as in England and
France, except in America, where. while
we fall short in some of the details of
foreign management, we surpass all other
nations in certain exceptional ADVANTAGES.
Italy has made tremendous ADVANTAGES
under King Victor Emmanuel, inspired bv
the example of the lamented Cavour and
by the presence Of the illustrations Carl
baldi. But when it is known that the fact
of an American gentleman travelling
through Italy, in a special carriage for him.
self and an invalid friend was spoken of as
an occurrence that would have been
unusual even for prince, and that this
carriage is the only one of the kind in the
Kingdom, an American naturally smiles os
he recalls the daily instances of a prosper.
Gus American and his family coursing from
Boston to San Francisco and back in his
own compartment, carrying his own com.
missarlat, at cost less, on the whole, than
one OF these opulent travellers would pav
from Paris to Rome. A special foreign
carriage will hold eight persons, and yet
this gentleman paid for the whole of one
Tor himself and associate. Among the
great secrets of success of railroad travel
in America is that the majority of our
people are generally on the rail, while
abroad the 50 called masses stay at home.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

Mean souls, like mean pictures, are
sometimes found in good looking frames.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

Judge A. II. Young of Hennepin county,
Minn., has exposed himself to the wrath of
all the woinen-men in the country by re-
iuslng the application of Mrs. Martha
Angle Dorsett for admission to the bar.
The statue on which he bases his decision
Is this: Any male person of the age of
Il years, of good moral character and who
posses the requisite qualifications of learn
ing and ability, is entitled to admission to
practice in all the courts of this State"
The judge admits that the lady has passed
a brilliant examination and has the requis-
ite qualifications of moral character, learn
ing and ability but he holds that she does
not come within the scope of the statute
Inasmuch as she is not q male person."
The statute, he says, does not prohibit the
admission of women, but there is an
implied inhibition quite as plain and bind
ing as an actual prohibition. The Judge can
be easily tripped in his logic. Candidates
cannot apply for admission under the
statute after they have passed their 22d
year. The words are "Any male person
of the age of 81 years." &c. Applicants
who are % years of age, or older, are not
prohibited in express terms, but inasmuch
as the statute affirmatively provides for the
admission of candidates of the age of 81
there is what the judge would term an
implied inhibition" That statute is weak
peg to hang decision on. The lady's
husband has already been admitted to prac-
tice, and she can do the office business and
take counsel fees while he does the talking
IN the courts. Ayl there's the rub. The
ladies like to do that themselves.
Smyrna times., 1876-10-18

REPRODUCTION OF OLD THoUGHTs.-Noth-
lngis more strange than the reproduction of
old thoughts under the guise of new and
advanced opinions. 1t would seem as if
the human mind, with all its restless acti,
witty, was destined to revolve in and endless
circle. Its progress is marked by MANY
changes and discoveries; it sees and under
stands far moro clearly what lies along the
line Of its route, and the modes or law un-
der which these facts occur; but this route
IN its higher levels always returns upon
itself. Nature and all its secrets become
better known, and the powers of nature are
brought more under human control: but
the sources of nature and life and thought
all the ultimate problems of being-never
become more clearly ineligible. Not only
so, but the last efforts of human reasoning
on these subjects are even as the first.
Differing in form, and even sometimes not
greatly in form, they are in substance the
same. Bold as the course of scientific ad.
yenturer has seemed for time, it ends
very much as it began; and men of the
nineteenth century look over the same
abysses of speculation as did their forefath-
ers thousands of years before. No philoso-
ply of theism can be said to have advanced
beyond the book of Job: and Professor
Tyndall, addressing the world from the
throne of modern science-which the chair
OF the British Association ought to be
repeats the thoughts of Democritus and
Epicurus, as the best guesses of the modern
scientific mind-Blackroods lfava-;ne.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22
As PERFECT NEWSPAPER

a. money, long experience practlced skill a pride
In the paper, and untiring zeal can possibly pro-
duce. That THE TRIBUNE will continue 10
outstrip all rivals IN the completeness and excel
lence OF its various editions, NC intend there
shall be no doubt about.
THE WEEKLY TRIBUNE. it shoulS be borne
In mind. is the largest weekly paper In the state,
being EIGHT COLUMNS larger than any OF the
other Detroit papers, thus furnishing very much
more reading matter. IL Is carefully edited, and,
altogether, has no equal anywhere In the West
In point Of real value and general attractiveness
In all its departments. IL viii be Kept fully
up 20 iis previous high standard, which has given
it an immensely wider circulation throughout
Michigan than any other paper Published either
within or without our borders. There II prohab-
ly not q school district Ia Michigan where TIE
TRIBuSR II not 10 be found
The price of TIE TRIBUNE IN its various edi-
tlons Is as follows: Daily, $40 co per year includ-
ing POSTAGE 81 80 for six months; 81 e3 for three
months. 1ri-weekly, s. 30 per year, lnclading
postage; 81 GO for six months; 81 IS for three
months. Weekly,s2 per year for single subscrip-
tions 81 so In clubs OF ave; 81 % In clubs Of ten;
81 co In clubs Of twenty-all these prices includ-
Ing postage, which we have 10 pay. large and
elegant map OF Michigan dover reninsula,, all
ready 20 hang upon the wall. also given 20 every
subscriber 70 TnK WEEKLY TRIBUSE for so cents
extra. This Offer IL made as an inducements 20
new Subscribers and for renewals, a. It's price 20
anyone not subscriber IL 81 20. Address al let
tiers 10 TiE TIllBUNE
Detroit, Mieh.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22

Too Expensive CovERISa both for
our persons and for our worship, and
for some other things too, is compli-
eating the money question. We ought
10 be comfortable, and neat, and in
good taste. but beyond that there are
some serious queries. Many years ago
Massachusetts, set aside fund which
promised 10 be ample for education for
All time to come. II is now said that
che fund is growing insufficient for the
reason that school boards have squsn-
derod the money in useless and extrav-
sgant sxpenditure for school buildings.
That states school-houses are often
like palaces, and now the authorities
are placed in an absurd, criminal pre-
dicsment. Children and buildings
abound, but the money to pay teach
ers ia quite insufficient. The sane
state complains that pauperism Is on
the increase, and an analysis OF the
reasons Why shows that tho poor are
housed in splendid asylums, aud are
more comfortable than tho average
rkilgmsn's family. And so the ten
dency runs. Every public collection
for benevolence in all tho leading
churches is crippled By tho absorption
OF undue sums Of money in needless
church-building extravsganco.--,N N. w.
Christian Advocate.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22

JAMES PARros AND HIS NEW WTr -
The lady whom Mr.. James Parton has
married was Miss Ellen Eldredge,
yuonger daughter OF Mr.. Parson's form
er wife Fanny Fern" when she first
began to use tho nom De plume, was q
poor widow Mrs. Eldrcdge). residing
in n second rate clearinghouse in
Cambridge, Mass, with two or three
children, aud no means OF support save
q pen whose resources che had not Jet
learned. Her "Fern Leaves" were
written in = hall bedroom in q second
story back, which was the best accom-
odation she aud her children could
command. Her brother, Mr.. n. p.
Willis, was at that time in New York,
but scarcely so prosperous as he after
ward became. With her increasing
success 40 an authorsss. Mrs. Eldrsdgs
came to New York. Mr.. Parton, who
was somewhat her junior, was fascinst-
cd not less by her piqusnt personality
than by her literary accomplishments,
and married her. Her daughter, Miss
Ellen Eldrodgc, was then quito little
girl. She has now grown up 10 take her
mothers place and become her step
fathers vifs-the circumstances being,
as is believed, almost IL not absolutely
unique. Her elder sister married
Mortimer Thompson, but dying the
year after her marriage, left an infant
daughter 10 the care Of her mother
aud sister. This child, exceptionally
attractive as she IL, became the pot o.
Mr.. Parton's household. When Mrs
Parton died, the care OF the child de
volvsd upon Miss Eldredgc aud Mr.
Parton, and their marriage now enables
them 20 unite more completely in car
ing for her. Mr.. Parton is surprised
and shocked at finding that marriage
which seemed 10 him proper is contrs
~ 10 the laws OF the State.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22
The heinvcstigntion Into the Consular
System.
From the Chicago Tribune.

From the Chicago Tribune.
The house committee on expendi-
lures OF the state department examined
this morning w. w. Murphy Of New
York, who for eight years previous to
1869 was United States Consul at
Frankfort-on-the-M Nam, and who was al
that time removed in order 10 make n
place for the brother-in-law of General
Butler. He did not complain Of his
removal. as he expected at some time
or another to be the victim OF the sys-
tenn under which political appoint
ments are made. Murphy said that
the salary which he received was, he
thought, ample, but his successor be-
sides this was also allowed clerk al a
salary Of $1,000 per year, and given
permission 10 expend besides this for
clerk hire $1,000 moro. He was OF
opinion that the salary OF consul
should not be regulated entirely by the
amount OF business which he had TO
do. For instance, consuis at Liver
pool, Paris and London received in adj
dition 10 their salaries, prerequisites,
etc, which make their remuneration
$4,000, $4,000 aud $4,000. while
those at Vienna and places in Turkey
and Russia, having not much less bus
iness received almost nothing except
their salaries, which should on this &C.
count be increased. Murphy thinks
that in most cases the salaries paid to
our consuls are sufficient, but in some
special cases, which he enumerated,
they are too small. In his opinion,
I the consular system of the United
States was moro expensive than that OF
other countries, because many OF the
| European nations employ bankers or
! business mcu 20 attend 10 their consu-
lar business. In this way the repre-.
sentative of the house OF Rothsclild.
az Frankfort -on-the-M Main acted as con
sui for Austris, aud Baron Erlanger.
the banker, who negotiated the confed.
crate States loan, attended TO the con.
sular business for Sweden and Norway.
These bankers are willing to serve a'
consuls without salary on account oi
certain advantages which they derive
from position. Murphy believes that
tho same System might in many case,
be adopted by tho United States. Tn,
witness described at come length th.
manner in which Capt. Steinberger, ol
Navigator Islands fame and, who sem
to Europe in 1872 as an inspector o
consulates, performed his duty. AL
though Murphy was not then in th,
Office OF consul, Sseinborger called or
him for such information "a he could
give He said that Steinberger LIVED
In magnificent style, his hotel expense
amounting from s25 10 ESQ dag.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22
The Childs Answer

Little Nellie L. had lost her faith.
er, and her mother was poor. Her
sweet temper and her winning ways
gained aer many friends. Among these
was an excellent lady, Miss NJ. A
glimpse Of Nellie's bright face peeping
in az the poor always brought smile
Of peculiar tenderness over Miss Ms
placed features.
She loved to sit by the child softly
strokiDg her hair, aud while looking
.houghtfully into her smiling eyes,
would often say, Poor, poor Nellie -
When Nellie shook her head, with q
heart too happy to forebode evil, her
friend would caress her still more fond
", aud then say, Poor little Nellie J.
The child's heart seemed troubled by
these plying words, for she asked one
day, "Why do you call me poorf-
Please don't, Miss N. I'm not poor
why, I've got twenty-five cents and q
good mother y
erich little Nellie" said her friend.
"a good mother All, how long was
in learning what this little one already
knows"
"A good mother"-oould any earth
ly treasure have made her so truly rich
IAN. Presbyterian.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22
ON the jackson Citizen.
THE TRAMP,s DREAM.

AZ midnight, In bis lowly tent,
A tramp was dreaming Of the hour,
When Wealth, with knee as suppllant beni
Should tremble at his pow-wow-wer.
When bloated bondholders aud slch
Should humbly seek his love 10 WOO,
And all the proud and naughty rich
Should stand around and boo -hoo-hoo.
When overy lady In the land
Would look at him with smiling eye,
And every poodle lick his hand.
And sing joyful kl-yi-yL
When every man, whaie'er his rank,
Should make an everlasting vow,
To treat him cordially and frank,
And always 70 him bow-wow-wow.
An hour passed on--peihsps twas more =
That bright dream was repeated some;
lie woke-io travel as OF yore,
To chew his eud-yum-yum-ynm.
Jackson, Feb. 10, 1870.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22

BETTER THAN PuBLIc LuE. -Schuy-
ler Collar seems likely 10 become the
envy Of all sensible politicians in the
successful new departure which he has
made from politics TO literature. His
present life is on the platform. He
lectures Ave nights week in the west,
and manages 10 spend every Sunday
with his family at South Bend, Indiana.
He lets dctraction vag its tongue un-
needed, enjoys a constant round Of
agreeable visits. and lives, he says, the
most independent and happicst life he
has known for 20 years. He has more
invitations than he can accept; lectur-
ed last season from December TO June;
has all this season engaged to May,
and is engaged in the east from No
vember, 1876, 10 January 1, 1877, for
5000, which is the rate OF $50, 900 a
year. He has n larger constituency
than ever before, and escapes the wear
aud tear and worry OF an active public
life in office.-[N. y. Graphic.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22

The Rev. DIR. Ritchie, OF Edinburg,
though q very clever man, has met
with his match. When examining .
student as to the classes he had attend
ed, he said, ''and you attended tAs
class for mathematics ?"
yes"
"How many sides has . circle ?"
Two" said the student.
Where are theyr"
What laugh in the class the stu-
dents answer produced, when he said,
IAN inside and an outside"
But this was nothing compared With
what followed. The doctor having
said to this student:
"And you attended the philosophy
class also Z"
Yes"
well, you would hear lectures Oh
various fubiects. Did you ever hear
one on cause and effect 2"
Yes
Does an effect ever 60 before .
cause?"
"Yes."
"Give an instance"
"a man wheeling barrow.
The doctor then sat down aud pro-
posed no more questions.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22

The Michigan pioneer society met at
Lansing, on Thursday last, with dele
gates present from Bay, Berrien, Cal
houn, Clinton, Eaton, Genesec, Hills
dale. Inahsm, Jackson, Gratiot, Kala-
mazoo. Shiavassee. Washtenaw and
WAYNE counties. The following off,
cers we're chosen for the ensuing year:
Jonathan Shsarer. OF Wayne, presi-
dent: executive committee, Levi Bish-
op Of Detroit; Witter j. Baxter. of
Jonesville; Albert White. OF Barry;
Mrs. III. A. Tenny, secretary; Ephriam
Longyear, corresponding secretary and
@. M. Barnes, treasurer. The histor-
ical committee consists OF J. G. Holmes
of Detroit; Goodrich OF Ann Arbor;
Mrs. Tenney OF Lsnsing; II. s. Wells,
OF Kalamazoo; Comstock, Of Marshall.
The president and ono other delegate
were appointed memorial committee.
In the evening the session was taken
up with addresses, esc.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22
TERMS
Postsg, free 10 Subscribers Il the |. =.

HGper's Weekly, one year. ..........tg 90.
90 90 includes prepayment OF L. :. postage hy
the publishers.
Back numbers eau be sappiied 81 ans tine.
The annual volume OF barpers weekly. IN
prislng nineteen volumes, sent on receipt OF cAsh
NJ the rate of IS ~ per vol, freight ~ expense
Of purchaser.
Prominent attention VIII be given IN HArper's
Weekly 20 the illustration OF The Centennial In
t4ruational Exposition. Address,
HARPER BROTHERS, View YORK.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22
HARPER'S WEEKLY.
ILLUSTRATED.

Haipcfs weekly il the ablest ani most power
fu Illustrated periodical published In the country
Its editorials are scholarly and convincing. and
carry much weight. Its Illustrations of current
events are fun and fresh, aud are prepared by
our best designers. With q circulation OF l50,-
0Oo, the Weekly IS read 10y at least half "A million
persons, and It's influence as an organ OF opinion
Is simply tremendous. The Weekly maintains a
positive position, and expresses decided views
on political and social problems. II Louisville
Courfer Iorruat
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1876-02-22

A six year old baby on Ridge street.
New York. with hair and teeth like
those of an adult recently gave its
mother terrible fright by sitting. un
in its cradle and talking. The mother,
being . Jewess. summoned . rabbi,
who performed the religious rite for
casting out devils, whersupon the
strange infant instantly died. The
spiritualists say the baby was q msdi-
nm, and that spirit spoke through il.