The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-01-27
SUNBEMS.
tfassaway Is a California poet

BLESSED are they who have nothing SO
say, and who cannot be persuaded 10 cay
The chief officer in the Egyptian dorl;u-
ions Is said to have Khe-dive-eFous east
Of countenanee.
No man but a horse-car conductor has
the right of Pattiug a lady on the back
without an introduction.
Hackmen are the best hearted fellows
IN the world. They never see "a man max
ing his way home at night without asking
him to ride.
Lady to WATERBURY put that ice into
the goblet with your fingers. Waiter-
Lol' ma'aTa, don't mind, my hands sra
very warm.
As an Arab ciings 70 bis horse, and "a
an Indian clngs 10 the legends Of b:~
father, so do deaf men cling 70 the ha h6t
Of walking on railroad tracks.
Mrs. Partington says she was much eia-
| eidated last Sunday on hearing p fine
discourse on the parody Of the prodigious
son.
Annie Grubb is the daughter of a Ches-
! ter county farmer, and when she is at the
! churn she is the Grubb that makes the
butter fly.
The omission OF comma on an epi-
! taph IN 4 cemetery causes the inscription
| to read, directed to the memory Of John
Phillips, accidenuy shot as mark of nf-
lection by his brother
"There, JOHN said an irate mother,
@thats twice you've come home and for
Cotton the lardH' ala, Mother" said young
dutiful. cit was so greasy that IL slipped
my mind.'
Up and Down Siairs.-Young Mistress
lat the parlor door: Eliza, what is the
bell ringing for so violently7-Cook (be-
low: It's on'y me, mum. 1 want you
down in the kitchen q minute.
Troy has a wrinkIed, sallow old man
who, being about TO seek a young wife,
inquired at drug store for "the man "a
enamels faces, SOS TO make 'em look
pooty."
An Arab chief at the NarseiIles opera
especially admired the trombone player.
expressing his wonder "to see that Chris
tan swallow so much brass. 1 cannot
yet comprehend where he puts IL"
The question as to whether it is spelled
whisky or whiskey is still debated. The
Chicago Times virtually decides the quee-
ton by remarlIine that nine men out of
ten take their whisky with cease"
The worm will turn. A Prussian in
Dusseldorf lately killed his wife and
daughter for ridiculing his brilliant red
hair, and his action is likely to inaugu-
rate a general revolt of red-headed men
Tho most forlorn victim of the present
hard times announces himself by the
declaration that he has given up wearing
suspenders and trusts to Heaven to keep
his trousers on.
It Is said that there are not 50 many
whips sold as there were ten years ago.
And this Is explained by the fact that
moro drivers use a fence picket to encour-
age their horses than formerly.-NorrLS-
t0loa Herald
Harmless a musenent - Mr.. Mnckla-
stone latter missing his bird for the TWEEN
tieta time: say, Gaskins, l do believe
the birds are frightened at me! Old
Keeper (blandly1i They didn't ought to
be, sir!
When an Indiana girl gets tired Of
lover and determines to dismiss him, she
doesn't throw. much frascO work into her
speech. Il guess you can pull OF now,
SAM" is her icy remark, "this egg won't
hatch"
Fame is what we are all after. An Os-
wego man sought it by eating n hundred
and ten CLAIMS at one sitting, but his di-
gestive organs weren't in good condition,
and no one but the angels will see him DO o.
it again.
Railway Humor.- Scene, Coatbridg,
Station Late train. Two ladies' at car
riage window (s-a an unknown quantity.
Ladies-"Porter! Porter Our lamp has
gone out" Stately Guard docking down
on them)-"Foolish virgins"
A friend tells us that a certain gentle
man came TO this city without shirt
his back, but has managed since to aeon
mUlate a cool three hundred thousand.
It's our opinion that the lucky individual
ought TO go into the wholesale shirt trade.
A Detroit woman remarked that she re-
GREETED but one thing in her life. She
said she was always vezet that tornado
didn't strike the twenty-five mon who saw
her fall on the icy walk, claw around and z
get up with a lame back.
A young man employed in this city il
six feet eight inches high and weighs
tIifle over a hundred pounds. They judge
by his appetite that he is hollow clear
down, and think Of amputating ono foot -
and using him as a stove pipe.
Two horse cars meet. a sudden jalr,
The cars both stop, the horses raiT.
Up starts each tim'rous passenjair=
a break down. off the track, or wharf,
Why stop 50 longi This amt Court
70 his comrade then says one drivaiH
Say, give 3 n chaw o. tobaccair!'
When your child puts penny into ID
mouth instead Of its pocket or tie cU1ltrf-
button box, give II castor oil at night and
whites Of eggs three times day, avoiding
I'D acids. until specie payments aEs "a
gumed.-PittsbUT9 Commercial.
The following epitaph, copied from
Pennsylvania tombstone, has been sent 70
the historical society of that Statee "Iiere
lies the bodie Of Magaret Fay, her would
If her could bus her couldn't stay, her
had bad legs and baldiah cough, u
were her legs as carried her Ok"
One passing through Arkansas dOesa't
see half as many revolve-s 90 he would
have noticed two or three years ago II
isn't particularly because every body -
tr,-irn- to he re.I rcnnd. hIIf Iuore beeanea