The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1876-11-23
A Mystfaed Hotel Clerk.

rainy, they concluded that they wouldn't
go home, but put up for the night at a
European hotel. Two of them rejoice
in the somewhat singular names of Peter
Xavier B5nesetter and Ferdinand
Algernon Colcroup. "See here boys"
said one OF the mad wags, "jes' less go
in by couples and all register the same
names. It'll be an awful joke on the
hotel clerk, see if it won't" So the
first two went in and got room and
registered, and when they had gone up
stairs the clerk said amiably to the night
watchman, " Deuced funny names those
fellows have" and the watchmau said
that was SO. About five minutes later
the second pair Of eonspira tors entered,
asked for a room, and were desired to
register. When the clerk swung the book
around again to put down the number
of their room he started visibly and
said, "Well, Pll be dumbed-p but he
soon recovered his self-possession, and,
when the conspirators had gone up stairs,
he said to the watchmau: "Tim, I've
been a hotel clerk twenty-seven years,
and Pve never yet seen guest whose
name was Bonesetter or Colcroup, and
there isn't hotel register in the country
that can show such initials, let aloLe the
family name, as Peter X and Ferdin-
and Algernon.' I'll bet money on that
every time. And yet we've only had
four transients without baggage tonight,
and two of 'em are Peter Xavier Bone
settlers and the other two are Ferdinand
Algernon Colcroups. Pm jiggered ever
lastingly if 1 can make it out. At that
moment the third pair of conspiIators
entered, and the first, taking the pen,
wrote in rapid flowing hand, "Peter
Xavier Bonesetter, City" while the Sec
ond registered Ferdinand Algernon
Colcroup, Chicago" The clerks eyes
bulged out till they would have served
for hat-rack, but he maintained his
self-command sufficiently to say, Show
these gentlemen up to 81" When the
porter came back he said to him: Tim,
we've been friends for good many
years, and you wouldn't lie to me if we
were speaking on the square. Have you
seen anything wrong with me to-day
sorter wild and mad, you know?" Tim
said he hadn't. "Pm sober, too; amt
Ig' Tim said he was. "Well, Tim, u
said the mystifed clerk, Il can't under.
stand it. There's no such names or in.
itials in any directory in the universe.
and yet there six of them on the register.
and in less than half an hour. That
means bad luck. The boss'Q bust, OF the
house'll burn up-or something, marx
my word -a ,',said the watehman
reassuringly, perhaps the boys are only
kidding you, playing you for a sucker
giving you a stiff, you know" by
Jimmy, if thought So" said the clerk
indignantly, "Pd bust them in the
snoots." At this instant the door wa:
opened and the last couple of conspira
tors made their appearance. aCan we
have a room?' The clerks mind was
working under the idea that mere
transient guest shonld have given him
stiff-played him for sucker, and he
said Indignantly and sarcastically to the
first conner, Your name is Peter Xavier
Bonesetter, isn't it?' and to the second
"Of course you're Ferdinand Algernor
Colcroup?" "Why, certainly" replied
both guests; did you expect us?" 40,
that's too thin" yelled the clerk; "you're
a flock of wolves going round to obtain
sleeps clothing under false pretenses. y
"I beg your pardon" said the first guest
icily," "but my name is Peter Xavier
Benesetter-there's my card" and he
flung down q paste-board SO inscribed
"And mine," said the second, "is Ferdi
nand Algernon Colcroup-these will
pretty fully identify me-" and he laid q
big bundle of letters on the counter
Then tapping his forehead solemnly he
added to mis- companion, Chow sad thai
the light of intellect should have flown
from one so young and yet so beautiful
or that the enemy of hotel clerks should
have put to his mouth an enemy to steaI
away his brains." The clerk apologized
abjectly, and when the ght porter came
down stairs asked him (the porter) Il
kick him (the Clerk) very hard SO thai
he could see if he was awake and in hi
right mind, or whether it was all horric
dream.
Disease i'm the LatGisdress's Ba skel
The panic which has been created BY
the new outbreak of smallpox, says thu
Pail Mall Gazette, has led to attention
being directed to what are termed "cen
ters of infection" and there is a natura
desire to root out these centers," or a
least reduce their number to the utmos
extent possible. There is probably nj
more active engine for the dissemination
of disease than the laundry. Indeed
under existing arrangements, there j
reason to fear that cleanliness is oftel
more deadly than dirt. When, as is tn
case in ninety-nine households out of
hundred, the washing is "put out" th
owners of the laundry are, as rule, ut
terly reckless as to the consequences o
the general mingling of the linen belong
ing to several families, which take
place when the laundress is engaged il
active business. Nor do they care to as
certain whether, as is often the case
there is infectious disease in the YER
house in which their garments and be,
furniture are sent. 1t is not surprisin
uader these circumstances that small
pox and fever often make their appear
ance mysteriously in households wher
they are as unexpected as unwelcome
The most perfect drainage arrangements