The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-02-16

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pipe in his month, "at your idol
againw "Yes, ma'am," replied he,
cody, burning It,"
Why should the beehive be taken as
a symbol of Industry Not bee
is to be seen all the winter long,
while the cockroach is up at five
o'clock in the morning, and never goes
to bed till midnight. Let's change
this thing.
A Scottish student, supposed to be
deficient in Judgment, was asked
by professor, in the conrse of his ex
animation, how he would discover
fool. "By the questions he would
ask" was the prompt and suggestive
reply.
They say Mark Twain is to run for
Mayor of Hartford. Hope he will be
elected Imagine his issueing an In
augural in which the Board of Streets
Commissioners are referred to as
"baldheaded reptiles" 3"
AT medical examination young
aspirant for a physicians diploma was
asked "When does modification en-.
sue?" "When you propose and are re-
jected," was the reply that greeted the
amazed questioner.
A waggish speculator recently said
"Five years ago / was not worth
penny in the world; now see where
am through my own exertions."
"Well, where are your" "Why a
thousand dollars in debt"
A Hartford man wants to sell
farm in which "meandering streams
and rivulets permeate luxuriant pas.
ture, while majestic oaks and stately
naples attract the eye of the behold.
err" Who bids?
The majority of pins fonnd in the
sweepings from the Dresden Union
School house are bent in a peculiar
fashion, suggesting sudden ascent
of pupils about to occupy the recita-
tion seats.
A white boy, upon meeting a col
ored boy, asked him what he had so
short a nose for, upon which the dar-
key replied: Il 'spect it's so l won't
be poking my nose into other peoples
business.
A sweet little boy, only eight years
bless his little heart-walked into
scene of a teachers examination, a.
Oswego, last week and bawled out,
"Annie, your fellow is down to the
house 70
Exploring waist places" said John
Henry, as he put his arm around the
pretty chambermaid. Navigation of
the air." said Mrs. Henry, overhear-
ing him, and sailing into his raven
curls.
The humor of Falstaff, the terror of
Macbeth, have each their swarms of
fit thoughts and images, as if Shaks-
peare had kpown and reported the
men, instead of inventing them at his
desk.
Mrs. Mitchell and her daughter are
conducting a revival in Montreal.
The girl is about twenty years old,
and the newspapers of that city say
that many of the converts are young
men.
A gentleman rode up to a public
house in the country and asked
"Who is the master of this house ?" 81
am, sir" replied the landlord; "my
wife has been dead about three weeks"
He smarts not under poverty who
has learned to be content, he frets not
under affiiction who is submissive to
the Fathers will, and lays aside his
own. Keep your desires within bounds.
Speech of an accused man in a
court at Boston last week: "Gentle.
men of the jury, never stole any
junk in my life. That isn't my lice.
The dry goods business is my line"
A stump speaker, in dealing with
the "modern physical degeneracy OF
women" exclaimed: "We must take
good care of our grandmothers, for
we shall never get any morel"
"Now, George Washington, you ies'
cum an put on your shoes dis mint.
De idea of you bein' out doors bare
feot on de Lords Day! Why, folks
will think you're Irishp
No Chinese bank has failed for five
hundred years. When the last failure
took place the officers heads were cut
off and flung in the corner with the
other assets.
The Oakland, California, Gas Com.
pany has been petitioned to paint the
street lamp posts white, so they may
be found readily ON dark NIGHTS