Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1876-08-14
The babY's little game-Bawl.

Inc paDy nJtle game-DaWl'
81 shall follow her soon." said a sad
eyed man at the grave of his wife,
Within a month he was following anoth-
er woman.
When the thermometer indicates nine
ty and nine. you may have noticed that
man can get his 'choler up much more
easily than he can keep his collar up.
Madam" said a gentleman to his
wife, "let me tell you facts are stubborn
things" "What a fact you must be,
quoth tie lady.
Charles Lamb. when speaking of one
of his rides on horseback, remarked that
call at once his horse stopped. but he
kept right on"
There is always one particularly ac-
tive and noisy fly these mornings that
makes it his business to call fellow up
for his breakfast-the fy's breakfast,
we mean.
A New York printer, setting up re-
cent report of a horse race, said ''the
fool sellers were busy" instead of the
''pool Sellers" but it did not alter the
sense of the paragraph much.
+. The advantages of advertising are
clearly proven in the case of Cincin-
natti man, who advertised, few days
ago, for harmonica, and was presented
by his wife, on the following night. with
twins.
A Kentucky schoolmaster whose wife
was one of his pupils had occasion to
punish her one day. The next day the
school-house door bore this inscription
'.School closed for one week: schoolmas-
ter ILL"
Five or six months of married life,
remarks n veteran observer, will often
reduce naturally irascible man to such
a condition of angelic humility that it
wouldn't be safe to trust him with a
pair Of wings.
A good joke Is going the rounds Of
the western part of this state at the ex-
pense of the erudite editor of one of the
Michigan dailies, who, on discovering a
fire, rushed out into the street shouting;
.'Conhagration confagration 4! J conha-
grafton ! II Approximate hither with the
implements Of deluge and extinguish
this combustion" ...
A girl and boy. between the ages of
fifteen and seventeen, were noticed in a
long and close conversation in the Allan
Ia depot At length the boy began to
weep. his loud boo-hoes attracting o
crowd. Whats the matter ?" asked q
sympathizer "He wants me to marry
him, and l won't" replied the girl
The spectators withdrew. rrgru-
At the closing of concert. while 9
young gentleman was struggling with
his hat, cane, overcoat. opera-glass, ano
his young lady's fan, all of which he
was trying to retain on his lap, suspic
ious. looking black bottle fell on the tiool
with a thud. There" he exclaimed Il
his companion, al shall lose my cougl
medicine" That was presence Of minC
for you.
Algy, "a small boy). "0h, so YOU
going to marry Jack 1? / wouldn't no
il | knowed it, rather" /"
Betrothed one. "Why not, dear ?"
Algy. "Why, he's an awful bully
He twists me round by the neck an
dusts my jacket, and he'll do the sam
TO you. You see
A gentleman was surprised to see hi
little daughter bring home from tn
Sunday School library grave treatie
on "Backsliding."
.My child" said be. "this is too ol
for you; you can't make anything OF
Of it."
III know it. papa" was the repl.
..but thought could when | took II
thought it would teach me how to slid
I backward"
} "Your visits remind ne of the grow
Of successful newspaper" said Unc
Jabez. leaning his chin on his cane al
., glancing on William Henry, who W
30 sweet on Angelica.
"Why so 2" inquired William Henr
"Well, they commenced on week.
\ grew to be tri-weekly. and have becoI
daily, with Sunday supplement"
"Yes," said William Henry, braci
~ up, land after we are married, we W
~ issue an extra--"
"Sh-h," said Angelica, and tn
=. they went out for q stroll.