Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-10-26
Judge Hayden's Soaring.

Our young Demosthenes scared aloft
last Thursday evening. and spread
himself over the whole congressional
district from his Empyrial height,
consequently he was very thin, GER
iainly translucent, almost transparent.
The Judge is in the flush of robust
boyhood and is maturing rapidly. An
unfedged eagle as yet, he bids fair to
be national bird of Importance.
The hall was compact with democratic
vitality, and the Judge was gotten up
regardless of expense" He could
easily have been taken for bride
groom, had there been a bride, bnt
there was nary bride. A perfume
seemed to pervade the atmosphere,
similar to that which pervaded our
chicken coop 'tother night when one
Of those little black and white quadru-
pedal sdimocrats" forced an entrance
and reformed" about dozen pullats.
but of course the ssschmell' was ow-
ing to the confined atmosphere of the
hall, but then the Judge aoas gotten
up regardless of expense
The young eagle "lit OUT with
out ceremony. He scared alof till
to the mental vision he was for time
| lost to sight
though not
| "to memory dear"
| Old Blair Of rhetorical fame, could
he have been present would have been
moved to tears-of repentance for ev-
er having been so presumptious as to
have made rhetoric. The Eagle
rended rhetorical robes with impuni-
ty and--his talen CTS, until poor rhet-
ORIG fairly squealed. When the Eagle
shrieked:-"No party ever existed in
this country in power for any great
length of time till it became corrupt, :"
and then to clinch the ravishing
thought in the minds Of his auditory
shrieked again. 81 repeat it. No par
ty ever existed in this country in pow
er for any great length of time till it be-
came corrupt The Eagles audience
wondered what the Eagle meant, finally
concluding that he meant just what
he said, that it is necessary for a par
ty to become corrupt in order to exist
any great length of time. The Eagle
probably didn't mean that, but that is
what the rhetorical pronunciamiento
amounts to; and we suppose that by
this logical deduction tn e Eagle solves
the problem of long continued demo-
cratic power in this country. And
again, in comparing the Republican
platforms of 1872 and '76, the Eagle
probably meant to have shrieked ''dep-
ricate." instead of "depreciate" but
then the Eagle is young yet; wait till
THE pin-feathers are lost amidst a glo-
rious plumage, and then see. The
Eagle is proud ''bird > When the
Eagle in comparing the platforms spo-
ken Of, with egotistical or eagle-tist
cal vanity, said: ''Propably when they
(the committee on resolutions) drew
those resolutions they didn't think I
| (the Eagle) would paste them in my
little book, side by side. Here the
Eagle "smole SMILE" and "wunk
wink and laughed so heartily that
from his lofty height it was almost
mistaken for the musical jingle Of a
string of stars beaten upon by matur-
ing pinion.
We presume not. Had they sup
posed that the Eagle would have dis
sected their WORK, they would have
been more careful; but you see we
"can't most always tell'' what is going
to happen. We presume that commit
tee will learn lesson, and all future
committees, will get down to their
work with awe and trembling. at least
until the young amounting bird' of
Wood County reposes beneath a glow
ing obituary.
Quite number of the ladies were
heard to exclaim. "Now [ m convert
ed" "If [ could vote, [ should GER
tainly vote for Sammy Tilden." How
could they help it, SO captivating a
flight, so captivating "a eagle"
DEMOCRATIC GEMs.-A negro has
no rights that a white man is bound to