davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16

SAYS an exchange: "a Trenton minister fell
the other day while trying to catch a chicken and
broke his arm"
This is the first time we ever heard of a spring
chicken getting away with preacher.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16

CIDER may be purified by by isinglass, about
OF. of the latter to the gallon. Dissolve in warm
water stir gently into the cider, let it settle, and
draw off the liquor.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
NEARLY BLIND.

H. R. STEVENS: Dear Sir-In expressing my thanks to
you for benefits derived from the Of VEGETINE,
and to benefit others, will state:
When eight nine years old afflicted with Scrof-
ula which made its appearance ia my eyes, face and
head and very blind for two years. All kinds
of operations performed my and all to
good result Finally the disease principally settled in
nv body limbs and feet and at times in aggravated
way.
Last Summer I was from cause weak in my spine
and kdneys and times very hard to retain the
urine Seeing your advertisement in the Commercial
according directions In two or three days obtained
great relief After using four five bottles noticed il
had wonderful effect the rough scsiy ,otches
my body and legs still used yegetne, and the humor
after another disappeared until they
all gone and attribute the of the two di to
vegetine, and nothing else.
If an affected with anything of the kind again,
shall try vegetne the only reliable remedy.
Once more accept my thanks and believe me to be-
Very respectfully, AUSTIN PARROTT
Dec 1. 1s72 No Is Gano ST.. Cincinnati Ohio.
Diseases Of the Kidneys Bladder, etc. always IN
pleasant and times they become the most distressing
and dangerous diseases that effect the human
Most of the Kidneys arise from impurities
blood causing humors which settle those parts Veg
etiue excels any known remedy in the whole world
cleansing and purifying the blood thereby causing
healthy action to all the organs Of the body.
Vegetine is Sold by all Druggists.
Oct. Ie.-lm.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16

PHPPs, of Moberly, says that the Brunswick
girls raise tobacco on the soil that clings to their
shoes, whereupon Naylor replies that 1.-The Bruins
wick girls dol't care Phipp for that, they know
what the Moberly girls raise" Which reply
calls for an explanation as to its meaning
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
4 GENTS WANTED EVERYWHERE
FOB OUR NEW
Pictorial Family Bible.

The best and cheapest in the Market 1900 Reeriai n
Iusfraons. Liberal comnssions allowed For terms and
circulars Erite Immediately to the
ST. LOUIS BIBLE PUBLISHING CO,
sept7.w4. 3o5 Locust ST., 81. LOUIE No.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
gtltft 2oftrp.
THE GRIMES FAMILY.
YOUNG CRIMES.
BIT b. r. sHII.LAB4R-


Old Grimes il dead that good old man,
We ne er shall see him more;
But he has left . son who beam
The name that old Grimes bore.
He wears q coat of latest cut
His hat is new and gny;
He cannot bear to view distress,
So turns from il away.
His pants are CATERS. fitting snug
er patent leather shoes;
His hair Is by barber curied;
He smokes cigars, and ehews-
A chain of massive gold is borne
Above his hashy vest;
His clothes are better every day,
Than were old Grimess best
BE wears gold watch in his fob,
From IL hang golden seals;
He daily drives around the town.
Behind horses heels
In Fashions court he constant walks,
Where he delight doth shed;
His hands are white, and very soft,
But softer is his head
He's six feet tall-no post more straight
His teeth are pearly white;
In habits he is sometimes loose,
And sometimes very tight
His manners are of sweetest grace.
His voice of softest tone;
His diamond pins the very one
That old Grimes used to own
His jet moustache conceals his mouth.
His whiskers hide his cheek;
He has an aunt of Christian mould,
OF temper mild and meek
A dicSey tall adorns his breast
His neck, scarf Of blue;
He sometimes goes to church, for change,
And sleeps in Grimes's pew.
He sports the fastest cab" in town,
Is always quick to bet:
He never knows who's President,
But thinks "Old Tips" in yet
He dissipates the cash more free,
Is lavish as the air;
grieve to hear, from those who know,
That sometimes he will swear.
He has drunk wines of every kind
And liquors cold and hot;
Young Grimes in short, is Just that sort
OF man old Grimes was not.
Now. let us pray old Grimes may stay
His quiet grave within;
'Twould grieve him much. think to see
The young 'un spread his Tin"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
The fun Of the Cling.
THE CENTENNIAL pAaoAoE-sMAsHEn.


PRMUs.
Pete was Tip Up baggageman he on Number = =
Where the tears and grosns of travelling folks
He cared how the women wept strong men raveo
and swore
While he mutated sample cases desolated Sar.tosas'
annihilated ORDINARY luggage. inundated carpet,
bags exterminated bandboxes and exfincuisned
This fne iii h.gyagemsp one of modern time
caSro sEcUNDus.
pn, Th,r.a, of,s-no,u there came q modest travelling
Who smiled and watched how ruthlessly the baggage
Then as he noipted out b trunk for him to smash and
He said Dear friend my worldly possessions are few
and humble; silver and gold have none but such
ri, fail and am poor, and il there man trav
cling who watches and weePs and prays over MS
baggage, then that's the kind OF man am.
Chorus the as before)
cAxTo TERMS.
But Pete seized shabby trunk with snorts of wrath
And in two seconds both the handles from the ends had
And heedess of the peadings the passenger fororn
BE banged the trunk the platform, and threw 1t
and then whacKed it over a stumper and threw
of the end of the bridge and shot in it with his
fying leap into the baggage car with it and lit en-
1t in a corner with his heels head and stomach and
dogs back; and the next second that baggage car
just alive with one interested baggage man.
ooiinr rsttlssnakss than You would believe had eS
er been born.
Chorus as previously, but with more fsengl
cAsIo QUARrUs
In vain my essays to tell how Pete the smasher
swore,
And yelled and shrieked and howled and roared and
raved. and ramped, and tore,
And turned blue indigo and sweled nine times
the size Of double decker Saratoga trunk and died
I'm two minutes after he got of the car while the
Modest traveller viewed the exaggerated remains
lie kueW has
fond of snakes before.
Chorus dd tibJ
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16

THE authenticity of the following terse corros-
pondence is vouched for by the Central Christian
Adpccdte:
"Js the Protestant preacher:
81 send you your spoons back. If your serv-
antgirl had been a Protestant, you never would
have got them again.
"Yours, CATHOLIC PRIEST"
"7o the Catholic priest:
Il thank You for the spoons If the girl had
been Protestant, she never would have stolen
them.
"Y0urs, PROTESTANT PREACHER
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
OLD oRINEs'S HEN.

BIT J. N. BARRON.
At .ss. that speckled hen has gone.
That hen Of hens the best:
She died without sigh or groan.
Within her downy nest.
Through Summers heat and Winters snow.
For ten long years she lay.
At morn and eve. old Grimes an egg.
But none the Sabbath day.
She had nest behind the door,
All neatly lined with hay;
Her back was brown and speckled DER
With spots inclined to gray.
Whene'er the rain came pouring down.
Or thunder's dreadful roar.
She hid herself in Grimes's gown,
Until the storm was DER.
Tho fourteen years Of age, almost.
She still looked young and hale;
And, like Jobs turkey, she could boast
One feather in her tail
She never deigned the barn yard bean
His face to look upon.
But loved that one whose long. shrill crow
WA heard at early dawn
An aged cock, who oft had told
His descent, with q sigh,
From one that crew when he Of old
. His Master did deny.
When poor old Speckie closed her eye.
BE jumped the fence and cried;
he babe the poultry all goodbye.
And then laid down and died
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
THE BEST MEDICINE.

EAST MARsHFIELD Aug. - 1870.
Mr.. STEVENS: Dear Sr-I seventy of age;
have suffered many years with Kidney Complaint weak
in my back and stomach. was induced by friends
try your VEGETINE and think it the best medicine
for weakness of the Kidneys used have tried
many remedies for this complaint, and never found
much relief from the yRGENE. 1t strengthens and
inyigorates the whole system Many of acquantanc
have taken it. and believe to be good for all the
complaints for which it is recommended.
Yours truly,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
DEATH OF OLD aR11rEs's CAT
By MICHAEL sTEINHoPPER.

BY MICHAEL sTEISHoPPER.
Poor Tabbys dead that good old cat,
VS. ne er shall see her more;
She used to eat both lean and fat,
And lie upon the floor.
She was as kind a. cat could be,
And never evil thought:
But did with other cats agree,
Which made her comp'ny sought.
When Winter came, with biting cold,
She'd in the corner lay;
Around her legs her tail she'd fold,
And sleep the livelong day.
She always staid about the house,
As good cats ought to do;
And every day she caught mouse,
And Sunday she caught two.
Fer fame was spread both far and near,
And every cat would bow,
just like old neighbor Simpsons steer
Wsuld bow to Grimes's COW.
And ever since old Spotty died,
She seemed to pine away.
To think that friends whom time had tried,
Should moulder into clay.
But now she's gone well let her rest,
The last Of Crimes train;
She II sleep in peace on Spotty's breast.
Far down the muddy lane.
n. B.-The speckled hen is sick,
And soon expects to die;
Well write q line upon her death,
Nor pass her virtues by.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16

ADVICE TO PARENTs-When your boy cries for
a stick of candy, just take stick to him.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
COMPLAINT.

Probably there is complaint that aicts the human
system which is little understood at the present time
of the varied forms of Kidney Complaints
There is disease which such acute pain or
alarming in its results than when the kidneys fail
the blood the uric acid and other poison
substances which the blood accumuates in its circu
lation through the system.
If from any cause the kidneys fail perform
tons devolvng upon them, the cumulaons taken
by the absorbents. and the whole system thrown into
state of disease causing great pain and suffering and
very often immediate death Hence the Importance of
keeping the kidneys and blood in q healthy condition
through which ali the impurities Of the blood
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16

ONE OF THE TENANTs-"Jemmy, get some
kindliLgs and make fire."
can be jabers, how am to do it, sirf Murphy
used the last banister yesterday, sure"
''The banisters gone! Then, on to the roof,
and see if you can pick eff any of them shingles.
The house amt mine, anyhow"
"Be the grey goose o. Moses an you're right"
Exet Jenny.
In a week afterwards, Mr.. Teddy O'Neil applies
to landlord for reduction of ''riut"-bekase the
floors lake. sure.'
Queer people, those exotics.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1876-11-16
PAIN IN THE BACK.

There is remedy known to medical science which
has proved itself valuable in of Kidney Com
plants than the VEGETSE 1t acts directly upon the
creons cleanses and pues the blood and restores the
whole system to healthy action.
The following extraordinary of great sufferers
who had been given by the best physicians hopeless
will speak for themselves and should challenge
the most profound attention of the medical faculty.
well those who suffering from Kidney Complaint
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
Why Two Girls Cried.

There is difference in girls, if the
following stories signify anything. One
the Stanford (Ky.) Journal tells thus !:
81 don't intend to cry bit at mothers
funeral if don't have a new dress and
black VEIL" said little girl here on the
death of her mother, and she kept her
word until she got the desired articles,
and then flood of grief burst forth
that lasted unrestrained until the last
solemn rites were performed.
The other story appears in the Peters
burg (Va.) Lnder and reads Last Fri
day the residence of Mr.. E. Helfrich. in
Chesterfield county, took fire from the
burning SCOT OF the chimney, which
fell upon the roof and ignited the shin
giles. Mr.. Helfrich's little daughter,
aged about ten years, and her mother,
together with some smaller children,
were the only occupants of the house at
the time. The little girl bravely mount
ed to the roof, and the mother passed up
to her bucket of water, by which
means, after frequent replenishing, she
succeeded in extinguishing the flames.
Some men working in field in sight OF
the house discovered the flames and
came to the rescue as quickly as posi-
BILE, but the little heroine had entirely
subdued the fire before their arrival, and
was sitting on the roof of the house
weeping-the effect, doubtless, of the
reaction of feeling after the excitement.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
Affairs in Mexico,

Mexico is once more seriously threat
ened by revolution. The presidential
election occurs next winter, and the
present incumbent, Lerdo de Tejada, is
a candidate for re election. General
Porhrio Diaz, who, as chief justice or
president of the supreme court, was
really vice president of the republic, has
entered tho field against Lerdo. 1t is
significantly remarked that the where
abouts OF Diaz are unknown, but that
the election of Lerdo "meaps war. "
Another malcontent is Marquee, who, as
one of the betrayers of Maximilian, has
an unenviabie reputation in Mexico.
This man represents the church party,
who oppose Lerdo's administration on ac-
count of the laws of his administration
which separate church from state. make
marriage civil contract, and deprive re-
hgious institutions of the right to hold
property. Marquee proposes to lead a
revolution against the new candidate
provided his party show any force and
it is suggested that he may unite with
the adherents of Diaz, who have no
special grievance except that their lead
er was defeated by Lerdo in the presi-
Dental canvas of 1872. Altogether, the
political outlook in Mexico is somewhat
stormy,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
A Valuable Work.

The CENTENNIAL HISTORY OF THE UNI
TED STATES, from the discovery of the
American Continent to the close OF the
First Century of American Independ-
ence. By James d. McOabe. Author
of ga Manual of General History"
Pathways to the Holy Land" etc,
etc. |
There has long been great and uni
versally-felt want of history Of the
United States suitable for general use.
This want is now being supplied by the
National Publishing Co., of Philadel-
phia, who have issued handsome vol
ume, styled "The Centennial History of
the United States," by James d. Nc
Oabe, well-known historical writer.
This work will, undoubtedly, take rank
as the standard history of the United
States. 1t is no dry mass of details-no
bombastic effort to infame the national
pride, but is clear, vivid and brilliant
narrative OF the events of our history,
from the discovery of the American Con-
tinent down to the present time.
We most heartily commend this book
to our readers. 1t gives very interest
ing account of the Indians of North
America, from the time of the coming of
the white men. The voyage of Colum-
bus, the explorations Of the different
nations of Europe and the wanderings
of the Spaniards iu search of gold and
immortal youth, are told with graphic
power.
Every step of our colonial history is
traced with patient fidelity, and the
sources of those noble, and we trust,
enduring institutions which have made
our country free and great, are shown
with remarkable clearness. The causes
of our great struggle for independence
are told with logical force and
ability unsurpassed in any work of the
day. Then follows clear and succinct
account of the formation of the Federal
Constitution; the establishment of the
Union; the course of affairs until the
breaking out of the second war with
England; and full and comprehensive
account of that war and its results. The
events of our career from the close OF
that contest to the commencement of the
civil war, follow in their order. The
history of the civil war is related with
intense vigor, and with strict fidelity to
truth; and the work closes with an ac-
SouhU VI piO OpuloO vi uhdllo oihSO UilS
end of that great conflict. The author
writes throughout with the calmnessan
impartiality of historian, and pleads
the cause of no party or section. He
states facts, points out the lessons which
they teach, and appealing to neither pas.
sion nor political feeling, trusts to the
good sense of his countrymen to sustain
his views. In order to render the work
complete in every respect, the author
has added to it an appendix, giving an
account of the approaching interna
tional Centennial exhibition.
It is comprised in one large, handsome
octave volume of 925 pages, and con
tains 442 engravings on steel and woot
of historical personages and scenes
The price is so low that all can afford tC
purchase a copy, and each subscriber il
presented with superb lithographi,
engraving of the Centennial exhibition
buildings and grounds. The book il
sold by subscription only, and the pub
fishers want agents in every county
See advertisement in another column.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
Raising the Money.

The Boston Traveller relates the fol-
lowing as an illustration of Winslow's
skill: One morning last summer Win
slow had note of $50, 900 to pay before
the bank closed at two o'clock, and not
$40 in his pocket, or the promise of a
single dollar; but he raised the money,
and with apparently very little trouble.
Having genuine note from wealthy
Boston capitalist, he made three copies,
putting them into as many different
banks. An officer of one of these banks
went to the maker of the genuine note,
and asked him if he had given any such
note. Being told that he had, and sup
posing that they had that note, and not
an imitation, the bank officers rested in
content until they discovered their loss
"a few. days ago. -.s- t.f "1
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
The German Contribution.

The entire contribution of Germany
to The centennial exhibition will arrive
in Philadelphia by the end of February
Most prominent among the exhibits will
be oil paintings and engravings of the
highest order. all having passed inspec-
ton by the first critical artists in the
country; toys, for the manufacture of
which Prussia is SO famous; literature
and science, musical instruments, watch
es and clocks. Thsre will be also a
large and attractive display of minerals,
steel and iron plates, chemicals, porce-
lain, furniture of superior quality, fab
RIGS of wool, cotton, linen, silk and vel
vet, kid gloves and leather. The wine
growers of the Rhine will make classi.
fed exhibit of their specialties. Work
upon the German buildings, to be erect.
ed near memorial hall, is now we'll ad.
vanced.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
Spring Costumes.

The earliest hints of spring styles for
dresses found in French fashion plates
point toward long Juive overdresses,
habits, and Marguerite polonaises. One
model is plain black velvet dress, of
which only the sleeves, sides, and the
edge of the skirt are visible, as the re-
mainder is covered with Juive over
dress of damask figured foulard of a
..elicate shade, edged with braid, and
worn with an,oye,a-age girdle low around
the hips this girdle is of golden links,
through which black velvet ribbon is
passed. Another costume has myrtle
green velvet skirt, almost concealed by
a Marguerite pelisse of lighter green
Sicilienne, edged with braid and fringe.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
Extraordinary Enternrise.

Frank Leslie, the publisher of eight
cen illustrated newspapers and maga-
zines, has just added to the list his
Ne,O Popular Monthly, marvel of
elegance and cheapness. 1t is nearly
double the size of any magazine pub
ished, each number containing one
hundred and twenty eight quarto pages,
eighty fine illustrations, beautiful
chrome lithograph frontispiece, and is
brim full of choice literature. We
name as few of the admirable articles
in the first number-one completely
illustrating and describing the Centen-
NAL exhibition at Philadelphia-als
Degrading Punishment of Women, I"
llustrated-an intere ,ting sketch of the
life and assassination of Marat, the
French revolutionist, with portrait
the different modes Of fire producing
among the aborigiues. illustrated--bio-
graphical sketch and portrait OF the great
millionaire, VIM. B. Astor, and view Of
Astor library. Among the excellent
stories which give so much life to this
magazine we notice Glow we Shot the
Falls" an Adirondack adventure
"Pearl Morgan's Revenge" 4" Huldah s
Defeat" Diamond " Cut Diamond, u
"One Night" by Eta W. Pierce,
"Paul's Choice, "Flint and Steel, u
"The Story of Raephel zelda, "The
Fix Mr.. Ferrers was in" There are
over sixty articles illustrated by eighty.
two engravings, and is furnished one
year, postage paid, for $3.50. The
Popular Monthly has already reached
circulation of rs, 900 copies-a success
never before recorded of any publication
of its class. Send twenty cents tc
Frank Leslie, New York, for sample
copy, by mail free. Canvassing agent;
should secure territory for this success
full magazine. An elegant chrome is
given as premium. Write at once fol
| tafms
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
A Victim of "Black Friday.v

The body of William f. Ward was
discovered in closet of vacant house
in Chicago. The body was already
partially decomposed, and was entirely
nude, but without marks of violence.
His clothes lay ON the floor beside him.
Mr.. Ward was formerly well known
operator in Wall street, New York, but
in the panic of Black Friday" lost his
entire fortune, which is supposed to have
been over one million dollars. Since
that time he has been living in penury
and distress in Chicago. 1t is believed
he committed suicide.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17
Moody and Sankey.

The first appearance in New York Of
the revivalists, Moody and Sankey, was
before an audience larger than the
metropolis ever witnessed before. Fully
1000 persons were seated in the main
hall. The overflow of those disappoint,
ed in obtaining entrance filled the small
hall, which seats 1000 persons, and
probably 5000 pers ons stood outside in
the streets listening to the singing.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-17

WHERE ARE THEY IA Texas editor
asks Father, mothers. where is your
boy tonight ? The high zssisited, noble
affections of your heart Where does he
spend these long evenings ? Persistent
inquiry at the billiard saloons, or some
of the keno rooms, might discover the
noble young man. Or he may be sitting
in the varieties, with his feet cooked up,
smoking one of his fathers cigars, and
looking like little Charlie Ross. You
can't miss him.