National Republican., 1876-11-28
Matiaual gepabIifas
CUEJOsITT SHOP.

CUEJOsITT SHOP.
Scarlet fever has shut up the normal
school at Trenton, New Jersey.
When can you be said to swsiloW v
glassware Wien you buy tumbier and
goblet.
-Matrimony might be ciassed as one ol
the doubtful states, In which reform is neces
sary ard change frequently desired.
There is call for an ''honest count"
at the South. Suppose we send down Coun.
JohaDnes!-Safnrddy Eyeniny Gazsft..
The smallest and slightest impedi-
ments are the most annoying, acd as little let
teTs most tire the eyes, so do little affairs most
o.fsturb us.
! Your men in England we're indicted
! for ste Ning beans. "What have they been
| aoipgr' asked the judge. "Bean stealing" J."
r7:d The Gle. *.
Just at his particular time the man
| holdirg the stalks on an election bet shouldn't
think Of going to Lanada to make his Hife's
| relatives visit.
There ~ said S1ues. as he wrath.
fully pashed away the Die which his Iandlady
had just served him, "she stlR isn't st for 4
| pig TO eat, AID amt going to ess g." i.'
| why do the butterflies wan their
wing s1'-a swenty-two ye7se poem, by nEsme-
ralds, ,"-is respectfully defined, withfhe In
formation that they have tc'do Il or walE.
"A little hoy, having b-oken his rocking
horse the dsyis was bought his mother re.
buked him. He replied to Ger by inquiring,
"What's the coed Of horsetiH it's broke"
When the Rhode Island militis pa
raded the other day you mighsE hear the OFF,
eers thunder forth their commands: ''Guide
right; steady, mem don't push soy one into
Connecticut %
why didn't you put on q cIean collar
before you left home" called out an impertf-
nept young fop to an omnibus driver. ss'Cause
your mother hadn't sent home my washing"
was the extinguishing reply.
"A little girl, four years old, created
ripple BY remsrking to the teacher of her Sun
day school class: "Our dogs dead. bet the
angels was scared when they saw him coming
up the 1ssk. He is cross to strangers"
"A Western lawyer who was defending
man on trial for wife-murder sought for
some euphonious and innocent phrase with
which to describe his clients crime, and fraIlY
ssid: "He wtnnowed her into paradise Eisa
fence rail-"
An Frishmsn who wanted divorce
from his wife, who had deserted him oa ac-
count of his poverty, wss-asked by his lawyer
if 1t was case of ineompatibIlity. s:So,"
SAID Pat; "it was case Of want Of income
Pst-abf,ity."
"A professor was expostulating with q
student for his idlsness, when the latter saId:
ITS OF no use; was cut out for Ioafsr"
"Wen," declared the professor, surveying
tne student critically, "whoeTer cut you out
understood his business"
-"Pm Philadelphia alderman" said
stout, pompous EttIe man, rs he approached
the turnstile on the opening day. "Oh tkst's
no matter" answered the gatekeeper. "That
don't exclude you. Pay your fifty cents, aai
you can go in just the same as the rest"
"A company Of women suffragists held
meeting to prove that woman is mans supe-
Nor in point OF courage, but some profane per-
those members who couldn't climb upon she
table dropped out Of the window, and the
meeting nss broken up.
"A man in Boston Episcopal church
was uncoamonly load and feryent In his re-
sponses, and the sexton gently requested him
to be less noisy. Thereupon he knocked the
sexton down, and gave the next response with
especial feeling, He was forcibly removed,
and then it was found that he was drunk.
-There have, at the Jardin des Plsntes,
been some interesting experiments as to tAe
effect of music upon animals. At the conclu-
sion OF piece of music some elephants have
been known 10 fon6le the musicians with their
trunks. Out West hotel keepers have been
known to seize the trunks after q concert.
In Fsanee not long ago man was tried
for murder in the usual course. In the usual
course he was found guilty and condemned,
and in the usual course the jurors were sp-
piled to to sign the petition for a commutatioa
OF his sentence. One wiser than his fellows
did so with the postscript, "On condition that
he hangs himself"
The New York papers seem to be of
the opinion that Mr.. Edwin Booth has made
mistake in attempting to restrain Messrs.
Tar E. Dol, e
Booths theatre" The name is now a part
OF the establishment, and is part of the as
sets of the proprietors. Nor is the retention
of it serious injury to the renown OF Mr..
Booth.
-"Aa," inquired boy offender years,
who was slowly riding home on q street car
the osher noon, "don't the Bible say that the
Creator made all creeping things" ayes,
my son." replied the mother, with due
solemnity. The boy rode thoughtfUaY on a
few rods, and then suddenly exclaimed, in
earnest terms: "Say, ma, did he lake street
caYs?"
The captain of q schooner on the
sound was steering, when the mate went att
and profered certain advice as tolthe course,
which offended the superior officer, who cried
out: "Mate Tompkins, you jest go forward
and tend to your end of this sBaner, and I'll
tend to mine" The mate went forward, and
there was plunge in the water, accompanied
with the information: fiCaptain Jones, my
end of the skinner is at anchor.'
Rare discrimination was shown by the
Court of General Sessions in New York Tues
day, when a woman who had been compelled
to steal to support drunken paramour with
whisky was cleared, while the instigstor of
her ruin was sent to the peni' entiarY for five
years. The man had known of dark passages
in the early life of the unfortunate woman,
and had used his knowledge after she OBJ
tained respectable position to compel her to
serve his criminal purposes.
-Ex- Queen Isabella of Spain is said to
have the most valuable collection of laces in
the world, one dress alone being valued at
$4,000. The specially of Queen Victoria is Q
fondness for India shawls and sapphiresS the
Empress of Austria is said to have an IN
riValled collection of emeralds, and the En-
press of Russia to stand unsurpassed in tur-
quoises and pearls, while the finest collection
of rubies belongs to the Grand Duchess of
Saxe-Weimar.
"A Frenchman proposes to reach the
North Pole by means of a balloon. All other
methods of travelling in the Arctic regions
having failed, recourse, he says, must be had
to 2rostation. By this means alone can the
hitherto insurmountable difficulties expe-
rienced in attempting to traverse the noun
tains of ice which bar the way to the desired
object be overcome. Capt. Mares, he main
tains, might have reached the pole in a very
few hours had he been provided with arostaric
appliances.
Among the gifts of flowers that were
sent to Miss Clara Morris Monday night, at
the Union Square theatre, New York, was 4
touqet from the poet Stedmsn, with the sub
joined lines:
CLARA MORRIS.
Touched by the fervor of her art,
No flaws tonight discover,
Her judge shall be the peoples heart,
This western world her lover.
The secret given to her alone
No frigid schoolman taught her:
Once more returning, dearer grown,
We greet thee, PASSIONS daughter!
When Seth got home from mackerel-
ing he sought his Sarah Ann, and found that
she, the heartless one, had found another
man. And then most awful tight he got, and
so he went away, and bound himself to cut
live oak all down in Floriday. He pined upon
live oak land, he murmured In the shades; his