Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-11-30
Written by Itself.

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Ny life is shortly told. My first i'm
preston was the sensation of tremen
dous but short squeeze, which instantly
awoke me into life and thought. I was
now spread out to the light, and glow
of intelligence completely pervaded me.
My ideas were at first new, multifarious
and confused-nations, politics, courts,
wars, speeches, merchandise, fghtings.
feasts, marriages, ditties, poetry, etc.
ETC., made up all my thoughts, which
were various and mixed. I lay in 6
silent state of wonder and great amaze
ment.
I soon found that was but one of 9
very large family, and was ushered into
this curious world at the same time.
Our whole family was laid in regular
order in pile; my situation, being one
of the first born, was particularly un'
easy, damp, and uncomfortable. I had
silent, intuitive longing wish to gel
into the world, which was at last graft.
fed.
Morning came, and I was carefully
folded and laid, Moses-ike, in basket,
by boy who was called the carrier, and
borne into the street. The said carrier
soon found was an object of interest
and desire. He was soon accosted by an
elderly looking man, with threadbare,
rusty breeches.
"Have you spare paper this morn
ing, my boyi"
"No, sir," was the short reply, and
he trudged on with US, muttering
"Not as you know on, old gripes. You
are the same chap that promised me
some coppers for the paper the other
morning, and han't paid me yet; you
are too stingy to take the paper-you
won't get another from me, guess"
My brethren were now fast leaving
me, being deposited at their proper des,
tination. At length my turn came, and
I was tucked in the crevice of a shop
door. The first sample of the kind was
not at all alluring. had not been long
in my new situation, when reluctant
early conner, swinging key in his hand,
wistfully eyed me, and casting look
about him, feloniously seized me, and
thrust me into his pocket. My rightful
owner, by virtue of advance pay, being
in sight, hailed and arrested the pilferer,
and with threats compelled him to re-
linquish his prize. He entered his
store, and I soon found that was the
first object of his attention. Afte,
hastily drying me by the fire, in which
process I narrowly escaped conaagrs
ton. he ran over me, and fixed his eyes
upon sales at auction, advertisements,
etc. was then more particularly ex
amined, and dismissed with condemna
tion.
"Nothing but foreign news-con
gress and cabinet stories, and &C
cidents by food and field. A newspape,
should be commercial report, one side
at least should be devoted to prices cur
rent" I was then pettishly thrown
upon the counter, but was soon in re-
QUESTION. A boy came in, with {
/" Please to lend me your paper for
few minutes, just to look at the shil
news ?"
The request was reluctantly granted
with something about the plague of pa
per borrowing, and determination tx
stop it. I was soon borne to neighbor
ing house. The good old woman, who's
husband was at sea, eagerly sought th'
ship news, but was quite disappointed
in her search.
"How negligent and careless thes'
printers are" said she; "not word O
Intelligence of the Wind Bird; the.
print of Poland and poetry, and fill thei
papers with advertisements, and that i
all they care about"
Miss now took her turn. She sough
the stories, poetry, and marriages
which in half an hour were all devouret
with a wonder that they put anything
else in the paper" An elderly lad!
now took me, who, adjusting her spec
tacles, surveyed me q little while, snt
declared me "terrible uninterestini
paper-hardly a column of deaths, ant
not more than fifteen or twenty murder
and accidents.
In this way I passed through all tn.
hands of the family, and after being vel
soiled and somewhat torn by the LITTLE
ones, was sent home. For three who'll
days 1 got no rest, but was continual!
borrowed and abused. At the end o
this period was supplanted by new
face, and was then discarded and throw
aside like all servants when they hav
become useless. was, however, agail
resuscitated, and employed as wrap
per to some merchandise, and sent int
the country. There I again became TN
object of interest, went the rounds Q
the neighborhood, and was a "nin
days wonder"
/ am now quietly hanging up in
shattered condition, in a farmers kitct
en-, from which have written this brle
memoir. have seer much of the world
and learned that mankind are unreasor
able and ungrateful, and that in worl
of great variety of tastes and wishes
is impossible to please all.