Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1876-02-24

him. - - - ~ ~
A-Ida G~eley's busbaDdsis "
llandsome that she hangs around
Nlns neck for hours, trying tokeef
him in where other girls cant see
him. 90 = EBTgWs "a r To
,,A,s 1.-The word debt is composed
of the initials of dun every body
twice" C-r-e.d-ii Is formed oI
l., the initial letters of "call regularly
every day; III trust -irs. t.'.--r
LIE is said that the gifted Ohilds
during the labors of composition
always betrays his approach to an
elcgiac climax by the nervous
twitching OF his toes. Hrt 90. a'
Now, Gen. Washington, you
jes' cum an put on your shoes dis
mint. De idea Of you benz out
ID doors barefoot on de Lords Day
Why, folks will think you're Irish!
The bill INTRODUCED in the
Missouri legislature TO allow pro
g prietorsr srof places of amusement to
charge storage on Chicago ladies'
feet has progressed to third read
ing. Z - I'll f.t3.t 4. 80 - S
Fifty SIX widows, hundred
and thirty.five orphans and twenty
cripples compose the, burden that
Thomassen has to carry on his
his shoulders as he wanders up
and down the shadowy shores
of the Styx. @
&c There is mau IN Rochester
so close that when he attends
church he occupies the pew farth
est from the pulpit to save the in
terest on his money while the col
lectors are passing the plates for
contribution.
The only chance for an unfor-
tunate eligible bachelor to escape
the opportunities of the girls this
year is to marry one Of fthem early,
THIS will keep him clear Of the
others, and the rest of the year
may he occupied with proceedings
for divorce. n,
In addition to other bridal
presents, Senator Christiancy pre-
sented his bridewitb al large and
assorted family, ready made cen
ass.svsisting &c numerous children and
grand children, thus enabling her
TO start out in housekeeping in a
style becoming senator's wife.
,-,.----'.'fIuw Mucir do you ask for that
there velvet by the yardT' said
Mrs. Rur.d at Stewart,s the other
day. N1"Tbat, madam said tile
GA clerk, holding itup, "$9, formerly
sold at $l4." Thought so,' said
Mrs. Rural, snow, where's them Is
cent calicoes l seed advertised in
the papers|
I. = IAN eccentric couple Of New
England village disagree as to bed
clothes, the man insisting on wool
en- sheets while. the i woman will
have nothing sbut spotless linen,
and so they have 'conpromis 9
their difficulty by sewing linen
half to a woolen half, and now
sleep as snug as bug in a rug.
n &ole Bull was once seeing The
sights at Dpnpybrook fa,rs-wlen
lie was attracted by the sound Of d
Sveryfoud violin in q tent. "He'en.
tered and said: "My good friend,
doyou play by note?" "rhe dence
anote, sir" DO youplay byeaD
then2" "Niver an ear, your hon
or" "How do you play, thenT'
"By main strength, ,Tbe iabbers.f
That vas,a jshrewd girl, and
not devoid of sense either, who re,
marked, when other girls were
making fun of her sho skirts, and
effected to be much shocked at the
exhibition thereof at party:--"lf
Z you'd. only pu(lrupe your dresses
y tabont your neck, where they ought
to be, they'd be as short rs minc!
She was not troubled any more.
He came home very late one
night, and after fumbling with his
latch key good while, muttered
to himself, as he at length opened
the door, II mushnmakeny noish,
caush tholomon's ashleep." He
divested himself Of his garments
with sdme trouble, and was con,
graduating himself on his success
as he was getting into bed, when a
calm, clear, cold voice sent chill
down his spinal column: "Why,
my dear, you ain't, going to sleep in
your hat, are youY|s .rDUO
Little Eyie is our three year
old darling. One day, near Christ!
mas, she said, "Mamma, L wish Il
had title sister.
"Write to Santa Clansto bring
you one when he fills your stock
ing, said mamma, ...
With pen and ink she scribbled
page of hieroglyphics to the time
honored gentleman
Sure enough few days after q
little boy stranger appeared, who
~ greatly disturbed little thrce-year-
old with his cries.
"Giyc him to me, said auntie: "I