The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1876-06-14
MISCELLANEOUS 1TEus.

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When a young lady gives herself
away, she naturally loses her self.
. possession.
SpriggiRs says: If drinking in
terieres with a mans business, why,
give up the business"
Why are some women very much
like tea.kettles Because they sing
away pleasantly, and they all at
once boil over.
A down-east editor says "The
ladies' spring hats are pretty, and
worn on the upper edge of the left
ear, which makes one look arch and
piquant, like a chicken looking
through a crack in the fence
An exchange asks: "What are
our young men DOING We can't
answer for the rest of the country,
but around here they are engaged
in mainly trying to lead nine dol
lar existence on a seven-dollar sala-
ry.
After-dinner criticism: Guest (who
has had a pleasant evening. will
Just have a look at his hosts pic
lures before he goes -"Yesh -hic-
like tha' pitsh're FL landscape 4!
Like the treesh! Branches wave
bout S nash'rallyl 2"
An exchange says: "New York Ia
dies wear nothing but gypsy hats"
And unless the hrim Of the hat is al
least four feet deep, and turns down
all the way around, we should think
a modest man would want to leave
that city.
Motto Of Portland temperance
reform club: 1--WE bend the knee
but not the elbow" This is supposed
to refer to deXterous habit of drink
ing out of bung. Is this "dcXtcr"
Gus remark intended for lelt.hand-
ed compliment!
An Irishman, noticing lady pass
along, espied two strips depending
from under the lady's cloak. Not
knowing that these were styled
sashes and in the right place, he ex-
claimed, "Faith, ma'am, yer galluses
are united
a bad spell: Thomas, spell
weather" said a schoolmaster TO one
of his pupils, "W ei.a-thi-our,
weather" "Well, Thomas, you may
sit down. said the teacher; Il think
this is the worst spell Of weather we
have had since Christmas"
GLOW like it's father it isl" said
the nurse, on the occasion of the
christening of baby whose father
was more than seventy years of age,
and who had married young wife
every like said saGrical lady
"bald, and not a tooth in it's head
"The st. Paul and Minneapolis
Pioneer-Press and Tribune" is the
name of a Minnesota paper. The
editor says exchanges won't give
credit when they have to set up q
long name in Italics, and it was
principally on this account that he
adopted a short title.
Stumble You'll get your rent,
Mrs. Flaherty, if you'll wait a little
I'm not going to run away. Besides,
there's my clothes" Mrs. F.
eyer clothes, indade A mighty
lot on 'em you've got, sure Why,
whin yer hats on, yer wardrobe's
emptyp
Dom Pedro is learning our Ian
guage very rapidly. The other
morning, as he laid down the New
York Herald, he remarked that no
had a few dollars TO bet that some
body would knock the "stulling' out
of Turkey before many moons had
waxed and waned.
"A great deal Of good is often done
in this world by people who don't
know that they are doing it, - was
the remark of an agriculturist, as
he observed a western statesman
leaning against his fence and care
lessly squirting tobacco juice over
his tomato plants.
"I'll take it, Pop" said Don Cam
eron when his family patriarch set
tied the secretaryship Of war upon
him, "but If I'm going to conduct the
office according to our family tradi-
tions, there will be an investigating
committee after me in just about
thirty days" Brooklyn Argus.
An ingenious Frenchman on Long
Island claims TO have discovered a
sure means of destroying the potato
bugs. Mix one gallon Of prussic acid
with three ounces of rend rock, stir
well, and administer Tablespoonful
every hour and a half till the bug
shows signs Of weakening. Then
stamp on him.
ave need not dip ourpen in dew
says a contemporary, sin order TO
speak fttingly oftho beauty Of apple
orchards" You would hardly think
that the same man went home and
dipped his head in cold water, after
a short argument with bulldog as
to the expediency Of entering one Of
these realms of beauty.
He was a very young man. A few
stray hairs upon his lip attested the
fact that he was engaged in a dead
ly struggle with a mustache. He
went into a variety store on Main
street, and said to the proprietor:
q Have you Charles Reade's Lost
Heir 2" 4" No, haven't" replied
the storekeeper But he con-
tinued, looking into the young mans
face, &" Pve got something that will
make that mustache of yours start
out like boils in Spring time
They were sitting together, he and
she. and he was arduously thinking