Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-08-24
Collecting a Debt.

Mr.. SPICES. a fat man, of Summer
street, owed Mr.. Shrimp, the grocer
and provision dealer, bill, which the
latter gentleman was anxious to
collect, but which, for some trivial
reason, the fat man had declared he
would settle when he got ready and
not a minute before. This saucy indie
pendence on the part of Spiggs irritat-
ed the grocer's nature to such an eX-
tent that, finally, he made the bold
statement to his book-keeper that if
he didn't mortify Spiggs into paying
that bill within the next thirty days he
would sell out his business to him for
so cents on the dollar.
The next afternoon Spiggs was pass
ing the store on the opposite side of
the street when Shrimp ran to the
door and yelled:
"Come in here and pay that bill of
yours, and don't go sneaking down the
street with your head hung down like
a Sheep
Spiggs took no notice of this demand,
which seemed only to heighten the
CREDITOR Indignation.
The following day he saw Spiggs
down town in company with friend,
when he approached him and said:
You're a pretty man to be wearing
beaver hat, and here you are owing
me for the victuals you and your
family stuffed yourselves with last
Thanksgivingr
Returning home he encountered one
of Sliggs' daughters on her way with
an associate to take a music lesson,
when he said:
q should think, young lady, that
you would rather go without knowing
how to play and sing till your father
gets SO that he can pay for what you
eat.
A day or two later he saw, through
the window, one Of SpiggS' sons get
ting measured at the tailor's for a suit
of clothes, when he opened the door
and said:
Don't you trust him a day for
those clothes. His father has owed
me $500 for Sirloin steak and such
things for over six months, and can't
get one dollar of it,
Soon after this he saw Mrs. Spiggs
and her daughter chatting with some
ladies in the hOrse-car station, when he
entered and said:
"This Woman'S husband owes me
for the soap that was used in washing
that collar she's got on her neck, and
[ want my pay for 1t. .
About a week later he saw Spiggs
riding out with clergyman, when,
after reckoning to him to stop, he
said:
7 on ought to be ashamed of your
self! Here you are passing yourself
off to this minister of the Gospel as an
honest man, when yOu are owing me
for the starch used in doing up your
Shirt-b0SOm."
The next evening Shrimp called at
the house Of Spiggs to see if he was
ready to settle his bill, but Spiggs was
away. Mrs. Spiggs was at home, how
ever, entertaining some Of her lady
friends at the tea-table. Shrimp pushed
his way into the dining-roOm, and
said:
Ladies, the family whose hospitali-
ty you are now enjoying owes me for
the flour that those hot biscuits there,
on the center of the table, are made
from, and [ should like to get my
money for it most confoundedly we'll"
Passing out of the gate he met Mr..
Spiggs' oldest daughter in company
with a young man who he suspected
was her affianced, when he said:
"That girls cheek wouldn't look so
plump and fat if it hadn't been for me-
[ have been letting her have all the
fresh doughnuts and bologna sausage
she wanted for the past six months,
and the bill hasn't been paid yet
The young man looked as though he
felt little ashamed to be found in
such company, and was commencing
to move down the street, when the
young lady gave wild shrek and fell
senseleSs to the sidewalk. He came
back and assisted her into the house,
and that night Spiggs came in and
paid his bill in full, with a liberal in
terest thereto.-DG11btTy NearS.
The authorities took a poor man
from COnleV'S Patch one day last week