The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-06-22
WHOLE NO. 1914.


An unsatisfactory Gnd-Gned e. and
costs.
The voices Of the nisht-,hose blessed
babies.
The man who volunteers 10 pay Dor.
rowed money acts a. a surprise party.
Sunday boots squeak worse than eve.
ryday ones. So do Sunday Christians.
Startling discovery Of little three.
yearold: why, pa, there's q hole in
your hair"
Sprigging says "If drinking intsrferos
with n mans business, why, give up tho
business"
The author Of the saying. You must
always take a man as you ind him" was
a constable.
It is reported that the man who pen
ned few rambling thoughts" rcpcnted
afterward and let them out.
A Boston Sunday school informs the
public by circular that Il will soon csle.
brate lie annual anniversary"
A little threeysar.old. when gathering
flowers. found one with an unusually
short stem, and exclaimed that he found
IL sitting down"
rs your house a warm one. landlord1'
asked gentleman In search Of . house
1T ought 10 be" was the reply. The
painter gave 10 two coats recently"
The spirits materialized George Wash.
ington az a seance in Indiana. the other
day and when one Of the spectators ask.
ed him whether be was really the great
hatcheter our first President replied.
"Dotish der Kind Of Hans ich an"
There Is one very mad man In oconto.
Wisconsin. He was a candidate for the
Legislature. and. being too high.toned 20
vote for himself. he voted for the other
man, who was elected by one majority.
He 10 disgusted with politics.
The politicians are getting out lumber
for the platforms There are two excel.
lent, well seasoned planks that might be
used 10 advantage and would be very
acceptable 10 the people. They are the
eighth and ninth commandments
Mr.. Muscleiohn, hearing that a neigh.
Dor was reporting that be was man Of vio.
lent temper. cxeitodiy said "iic ought
70 know better than 20 spread such q
slander, for ! knocked him down only
yesterday for merely limiting u In my
presence"
An old man fell asleep In New Hamp.
shire church on a recent Sunday aftar.
noon. and his nose got wedgcd into .
book.rack 90 that ho couldn't get il out
After he had thrashcd about and snort
ed a good deal. tho sexton released him
by splitting open the rack.
Why is naming the day" for the we'd.
ding like a naval battle7 Because itaa
marry-time engagement
A debating society has under consider.
alton the question: "ia it wrong 20 cheat
n lawyer7' The result Is expected % be
No, but impossible"
Legal Mem.-It l. well 10 be polite an.
der all circumstances. but. nevertheless.
remember that many a man has been a
heavy loser all through civil action
Edith-Oh. deari am 20 tired
Loving Husband-Wha has atieund
you. my Pippotywippety Poppetg
Edith-Oh I have had 70 hold Up my
parasol all tho time / was in the car
riago.
Tho honor Of the best Centennial joke
must be accorded 10 Dom Pedro ON
learning the number Of revolutions Of the
great Corliss engine per minute. he said.
= That beats our South American rcpub.
lies"
A new kind Of doorhinge has been ia.
vented for the use Of those who never
think Of closing doors after them lta
pcculiarity IL that the door not only
shuts quickly and noiselessly. bat Il bits
the person who leaves it open a Hctce
blow on the back.
An Indiana girl At college writes home
10 her parents after the following elegant
style. This IL the most stylish hairpin
of a boarding school ever tumblcd 10.
can eat four times a day. II I want %.
md get fair hack at tho hash every
time
A pair OF pantAloons containing sift
Eere blown away by the Fremont (ia.l
hurricane We suspect the wcarcr ciung
10 a sappling; but his suspcndcr buttons
,ouldn't have been sewcd on very strong.
VI Norristown Herald.
An exchange says. New York ladies
year nothing but the gypsy hats" And
brim Of the hat is AZ least four
eet deep. and turns down all around. We
Ihould think a modest man would want
70 leave that city Norristown Herald.
A diapers shop At Paris. one Of whose
'lerks swallowed table fork two years
lgo. now includes the history Of its sue.
'essful extraction In ita large posting al.
Purchasers can view the
ork and clerk. and on departing are
presented with boquet Of violsta.
A New Jersey street car man wrote 10
iis sweetheart n don't care mutch
What ] do. you seem TO feel stuck up
,bovo n hoiscar driver " my hands ia
arFe my hart is 10. | want yer 20 un.
lerstand that u 10 easy ter cry tears. but
q the same time yor hart may be suficrn
! bellstrap."
An ingenious Frsnchman on Long IL.
and claims 20 have discovered a sure
means Of destroying the potato bugs.
Nix one gallon Of pruasio acid with three
ounces Of rcnd rock. stir well, and ad.
minister a Tablespoonful every hour and
! half till the bug shows signs of weak.
ming Then stamp on him.
AZ this season the question which In.
.ercsts a boy is not 20 much whether bis
ifo will be crowned with glory aud honor
u whether his new Summers vest IL
going 10 bo made out Of his fathers old
trousers.
When a California woman defeated
ion in a hand.to hand combat. tho neigh.
1ors we're greatly astoniahcd. but her
husband quietly remarked "Oh. that's
that woman could lick the
lcvil.'
Why 10 "a. my dear sir. said Walliss
10 him the other day. "thAt you
nrwauauaf men uavaf uat rich ~ II do