The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-10-21
CREAM OUR EXCHANGES.

water may be good thing, but it won't float
candidate into office in times like these"
The latest version, enlarged and improved,
as follows: .-.-... .
Let ne guilty man escape-conviction for yo
know hold the key to the pordoniHg powe
which will open some doors as last as you ca'
shut them.
The Times has received from the house OF
Brainard's Sons, Cleveland, piece OF music e4
titled. "Her Face is q Garden OF Flowers" We
have not yet examined il, but take il to De
companion piece to Blossoms on Her Nose -
Ch. Times. . ....
Gen. Newton, chief engineer of the He'll Gate
p Improvement, is evidently married man. Wher
asked, on the eve Of the late explosion, whether
he did not apprchcnd danger from his near prox
mlty to the blast, he replied; No; feel easier
here than at home"
The New York Graphic wants to see an homes
lightning. rod man. 1t Away; had some Difficult
Job on hand.-Detroh Free Press
There is one comfort in the return of frost anc
zee. The ice.m man returns to his proper level
Instead Of holding high head and snubbins
our most aristocratic citizens, he sits neglected
and shiverng on his box, blue.nosed victim OF
human instability.
Cupd always was an exactng little rogue He
never lends his culver without expecting an
yerent-N. Y. Com. That's only another
way OF saying that money draws the beau.-ch.
Times Id
Why should the spirit of mortal be proud"
signs John Logan. This Indiana election takes
the starch out of fellow like plunge into ice
water.
Every man can make himself useful in this
world, If only by holding sunshade over a
young lady who is playing croquet.
There is consolation in knowing that the time
is close at hand when you can no longer be put
of in collecting bill with the cheeky excuse,
I want the money to 20 to the centennial"
What holds all the snuff in the world? No one
nose-Er That huff Of that talk.-1urOrd
Netcs. 'Sneezy thing to guess, anyhow. ID
Wenona man, who recently had "A Of his
latest, plumpest chickens stolen, hurls at the
thief the following horrible imprecaton: MAY
he occupy berth in the most bottomless PIT
further down than sledge hammer could drop
in 315 600 years, where winter and icicles are as
foreign to the cline as is fire TO the bed Of the
ocean. EH .
snoodes wants to know, If the law allows oys-
ter catching in every month in the year that has
an in its name, why they don't rake for oys-
tiers in Orgust?
Why is 1t that woman always tearfuly de-
clares, the morning after the first white frost,
that she had intended to bring those house plants
in the next day.
1t is too thin-hlring boys, rubbing backing
on their lips, and passing them Off in republican
professions for voters.
The lonely man who hasnot been to the Expo
stion is wandering vacantly around in society
listening to the interminable talk about things
of which he is profoundly ignorant And il
makes it mighty pleasant for him.
A drunken California miner has kicked can
Of nitro lycerine again, and his relations would
feel great deal better If they could find some
thing more OF him than one bootstrap. 1t seems
ridiculous to have funeral over only one boot
strap. s.. s4 It..t.
said, "Ohio,' but at the words Indiana demo-
cratic" he got down on this side very quickly,
remarking, 81 always was for Tilden and
Hendrlcks."-Y. Y. World.
This is the season OF the year when the cram
berry is attractlvcly exhibited in front the gro
Gerry, and it is well to remember that four pounds
OF sugar just sweeten pint OF them
When Mr. Harrison, of Indiana, arose yester-
day morning and saw his broadcloth breeches
hanging over the back OF a chair, he remarked
10 Mrs. II. that he believed he would have a suit
Of that blue jeans made up now that the wealth
er was getting little crisp.-Cincinnati Enq
Darwin says that fowls have no religious sense,
but he probably never observed the lcalm reiec-
tive manner in which n chicken will stand on
one leg and look up to Heaven, after squeezing
through hole in the fence into strawberry
bed next door
There is a sad rhyme in connection
With the story OF lost Leon0re
But that rhyme was simply detection
Compared to that drunken mans snore.
well moulded arm is prettier without brace.
lets, besides they are liable to scratch fellows
ear.
Hayes is worth S7500O0, hut he carries a Sl2
watch and drives a SEQ horse. lie has also blood.
ed cattle at $3.50 per capita. See his tax list
Rural democratic editors, since the October
election, are making such profuse display OF
roosters as to indicate either unprecedented sue
cess at the late county fans or a grievous ten.
dency towards the reprehensible sports Of the
cockpit.
Men, says Adam Smith, are naturally unsenti
mental man will scoop the bottom out of an
sgg without thinking that the mother OF that
egg is perhaps hundred miles away, in the
rain.
The New York Nal swears to a dog that
Knows Thief on sight. Just heaven! how such
beast would scatter republican meeting in
ngfeld.-Registr.
Hon. lrus Coy,a Kendall county republican
s!umper, in recent speech, after defending as
well as he could the corruptions of (;rantism
according to the Kendall Record, httingly con.
eluded With the quotation from DIR. Watts;
And are we wretches yet alive,
And do we yet rebel
lis boundless, It's amazing love
That keeps US up from helli