The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-10-05
FACTS AND FUN.

Did you ever Try to slep up a stair that
wasn't there?
A man of dignity is often mistaken for
a man of brains.
The annual gathering of gaily GoIored
leaves has commenced.
The average stump speaker can dis
C Unit old Munchausen telling iiess
Seal-skin sacques are to be shaped 10
the figure this year. About 500 is the
figure to be con ulted in shaping.
It's about time enthusiastic lunatics
Were making engagements to ran each
other around in wneelbarrows in case
Tilden or Hayes is elected.
1t is painful to observe a tOrchlight
processianst IN meandering home at 2 A.
NJ. with MS glim douzed and has system
full of,enthusiasm anu benzine.
The lecture season has begun, and
some husbands will get two lectures an
evening tor month or two--one at the
hall, the other on reaching home.
The manwho wins centennial prize
and don't advertise IL is as bad as Lhe
man who buys $4,000 oil painting an d
then presents it to a blind asylum.
A Detroit man, just home from the
Black Hills, being interrogated as to
their richness, answered: "fhere'sllo S
Of gold there, boys, but it costs hair!"
The Pittsburg Leader draws an unfair
inference because Lne worn out street.
car horses are to be sold just at the
commeneemente CT the sausage season.
II am not so much a maiden as a
widow, ergo l am not so spoOny as of
yore. l know what L want, and Pu
get my work in, sohelp me Dob."-[BuG-
Ter.
One can scarcely walk down our
streets these days without having tie
conviction forced upon him that either
the American women are all too short,
or their dresses are too long.
John l.. SWaney, probably the oldest
Mason in the United States, died recent.
ly at his home, in Simmer County,
Tennessee, aged ninety-seven. He had
been a Mason seventy years.
In the TAR off region of departed years
where the ghosts of our joys and griets
fit to and iro like quickened shadows,
perhaps the bitteresJ memory OF all is
the memory of our first boil
"Absence makes the heart grow fon-
der" was the thought OF Mrs. Abs, or
Biler avenue, when she found that burg
lars had gone through two trunks and
distracted $500 worth of money and
clothing. e.
A dreamy philosopher has discovered
that mosquitoes are animated by the
souls of wicked men who have gone TO
their last account. If this is so, a good
many wicked mems souls are being pIas-
tered up against bedroom walls.
A wild duck, which was flying down a
stream at Westport, Conn., few days
ago, struck a telegraph wire, which was
stretched across bridge, with such
force that its head was severed from it's
body. A passer-by found the bird, and
had IL cooked Tor supper.
Two young men excused themselves at
the Yorkville Police Court yesterday for
stealing pie from u bakers shop, by a
plea that they were hungry. "Wby,"
as ked Justice Wandell, didn't YOU |
steal breadp "Liked pie better,n was
the prompt reply.
Not long ago the heather in China
made a sudden and remarkable demand |
for copies OF the Bible. The missionar-
les were delighted; u gteat work was
about TO be accomplished. Somehow the
didn't come up to the altar.
Upou investigation it was found that The |
Bibles had been applied to the curing of |
another kind Of s'Ds altogether-paper |
solcs for shoe"