The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-09-30
CREANOF OUR EXCHANGES.

The New York journals express pity for tn
misguded creatures who do not know that oys
ters of certain varieties are good eating in Au
gust and that other varieties may be safely eat
en- in other months without ther.
II is such mornings as these that the belle o
the watering place comes forth with blue lip
and pink nose, and realizes what it is to fee
like a damp cinder.-Brooklyn Argus.
Meredith Read, our Minister to Greece, ha
done much to restore the shattered reputation
of the American name abroad by introducing
new style of rundown shirt collar in Athens
Brooklyn Argus.
Somebody gave fruit luncheon at Newport
Rhode Island, the other day. They had melons
pears, apples pums, cherries, peaches, oranges
grapes and berries. The night of the entertain
ment every doctor was aroused from his bed be
fore mldnig ht TO see fashionable patients.
The Philadelphia Times Of the 18th inst. says
"Among the audience at tire opera last evening
were several foreigners, notably very swell
Chinamau in box, a mild looking Turk in the
paraauet large Spanish, Italian. German and
French, re presentation, together with number
from New Jersey"
Last Sunday morning, prominent Brooklyn
clergyman, who had just returned from his va
cation, wishing to announce that the regular
evening services would be resumed, and having
a conscientious purpose TO forestall any disap-
pointment to members OF his flock who might
be cherishing expectations, gave out the notice
with the following comment: AS have not
been to Europe hor to he Centennial, nor to any
other place worth mentioning, shall preach the
Gospel"
How often, when the sable curtains of night
are drawn around the world, will vivid pic lures
Of his boyish days come back TO the business
man who has had green peaches ana cream lot
supper, and who canuCt find the bottle OF pam
killer.-ltome Sentinel. --
correspondent thus describes the scenes in
an Indiana town on the day OF holding Repub-
lican rally:
Rub.a.dub-dub; tootle -tootle. tootle-toot;
Niggers leaning against every lamp-post and
doorway, with foh-God -l-cut.you-with
shua expression on their oily faces;
Scarlet women in myrlads on the streets, gor-
geous in parti-colored adornmcnts, and oozing
with that inspencc and heartiness which signl-
fy that trade is good
Beaming gentlemen, with-a-God bless you. my
children air, shaking bands with everybody whom
they meet;
Per.plring, wearled, but contented saloonists
setting em up for long lines OF thirsty patrons;
Three men of every five coming out through
doorways, wiping their mouths with one mana,
and putting in pieces OF cracker win the other
Alright, long lines OF fire waving through the
darkness and moving TO the pulsatllc rhythm OF
hammered sheepskin and tortured tfe
There is new story out about Benjamin Frank
lin, which is the worst of all They say he got
up church lottery for the benefit Of Christ
church, in Philadelphia, in Its early days.
We copy the following advertisement. from a.
New Zealand paper;
"Mr. John Cow begs to intimate to the party
or parties who are in the habit Of helping them
selves to his firewood that they may now have
the axe as he has no further use for IT. He hopes
that the taste which they so strongly displayed
for heat may be gratiiied, II not In this sphere,
at least in the next"
Mrs. Robb OF Texas owns 5000 cattle. She
ought TO be able to show some handsome calves.
The reader Of Radical newspaper objects tol
SO much being printed about hell, but II he will
read Radical papers he must expect hell.
In Paris they call mosquitoes "cousins." Here
we regard them as miniature mothers.in.aw.
"Ah, husband! do YOU see this beautiful cary.
ing' How delicately cut In the pure, white
stone!n "Yesl very pretty" "But, William, you
have no taste for art, and you don't enjoy these
things as do. Just notice this slender column
Of immaculate marble, with the touching 1ues.
ton so beautifully carved, DO they miss me at
homer" ayes! I see. And here is her name
on the foot-stOne, g. A. b. Yes! guess they
miss her-if that was her name!" And there
came silence.-Er.
A New York preacher conducting camp.meet-
ing services, made this announcement: "Let us
continue our wosrhip by listening to piece o.
sweet music performed by the operate quartet,
who have been secured regardless OF expense
He had been reading the theatre posters. .
Don't "paste this in your hat" where you will
never see it, and 1t can't get through your
wool" except by trepannlng operation, but
stick 1t on the fly leaf Of your prayer book, where
it will surely fall under your eye daily, at your
morning devotions. II Is a scrap OF proverbisl
philosophy from Micawber: annual income,
twenty pounds; annual expenditure nineteen,
eleven aud six; result-happiness. Annual In
come, twenty pounds; annual expenditure,
twenty pounds, ought and six; result-misery.
The blossom is bighted; the leaf is withercd
the god Of day goes down upon the dreary scene
and-in short you are forever fooredn-Fr.
This note from Chicago girl to her lover was
made public through n lawsuit; Dear SAME,
Pap's watermillions Is ripe. Come and bring
some poetry like you brought afore. My love
for you will ever now like water running down h
later row. Bring piece as long AS your arm
and have u heap more about them raving ring
lets and other sweet things. Come next Sunday
and don't fue me-"
tits suggestive sight in wandering through
a Kentucky town TO see the number Of empty
whisky kegs there piled up in trent Of the
village newspaper ofiice.-Neto York Commercial
Advertiser.
Dewitt Talmage is at home again. greatly re-
freshed by his vacation, and after the first Sun
day he preached he knocked the stufiing out Of
the cushion and pounded the bare pulpit until
the people outside came in TO who was playing
the bass drum-Burling,on Hdrkeye.
Only one hundred and seven new newspapers
were established in America last month, and as
long as the number doesn't 20 over 60OO per
year, each paper be certain of fifteen or TWEEN.
~ ubscribers.-Detrod Free Press.
"sneakinp Of bathing" said Mrs Partin. ton