The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-10-07
BEvY.
Ill MOROI1S,

III MOROUS,
The man who had project on foot
went to a corn doctor.
-" Can politician be honest ?'L-
Ex. Can a potato wink ?
st. Louis man ran six blocks after
his nose, thir king he was going to a
FIRE.
When Il printer cant find cap A,
why ought he use ? Because it is the
next thing to it,
"A youth who appears to be on the
right tr6ck-Prlnce Oscar.
The happest paper in the United
States is an Indianapolis daily 1t has
but one " want"
- The Boston Post wants to know
what sort of an animal the father of Il
mule is. Look iA the mirror and see.
If your furs ever get worn down
short, whip them with forty rods, for
forty rods is said to make a fur long.
A young man admiring the delicate
fabrics for collars in a milliner's store,
wished he was Emperor of all the
ruches.
Profanity in Texas is against the
law, 500 worth each time. They think
of enforcing the law for month and
paying the national debt.
"A man had lot of powder ex-
plode in his face the other day at Ams-
terdam, N. Y. His name is Going ,and
his eyesight is gone.
---Au oblging Mississippi Judge re-
Gently adjourned court for fifteen min-
utes to get time to go out and pummel
an offending lawyer, who had rudely
made application for II uice.eye.
DIR. Wander Weyde says a frst-rate
article of jelly can be made from old
boots. And almost any printing Office
can furnish enough old boots To make u
barrel of that sort OF jelly.
Mr.. Air Is the name of an hotel
clerk, and it isn't inappropriate ethrr.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Don't Boreas with any more like that,
or we may come to " blows"
"A Virginian accidentally stumbled
and fell. A lady, thinking to commits
crate with the mirhap, observed that
she regretted his uuIucky faux-pas. " |
didn't hurt my fore paws" he replied,
it was my knee
John Thomas" Now, then, be
hOff we cant ave that noise ere "
Iudgaut Musician IL" Noise! Yas, 'cOz
yer guv'ner's gone to the Dubhy, you
give yerself hairs, an wants to set hup
for cricket Of music"
August Lachpl advertises in the
Chicago Staats Zeitzung his matrimo-
nal experience, A widow asked him
to marry her, aud offered 81, 900 as an
i.IduccmeIt. He hesitated, and then
she gave him all her property. The
honeymoon was not over before she he.
came disagreeable. Says he She
has insulted me in all things, and
charges me with having a weak mem
Ory, and God knows what else. An old
woman like her ought to he glad to have
"A husband like me, who has all his mill
tary papers. At first it was always, i
have the honor to present to you my
hus band here. And all the people were
surprised that so old a person could get
such respectable husband" He has
separated from her, and to warn other
men is the av0wed object of his card
which closes as follows 81 leat ned ,un
fortunately after my marriage, that she
tormeuted and beat her first husband to
death He was a weak man. She can
not thrash me. Finally, she was telling
Inc that should buy poison-only fol
the rats, of course. But | was very
careful not to do it,"
William Crafts, the once. famous
colored man, who for years past has
J collected mOLey from people of u {
North Ostensiby for the bene it ol q
farm school for colored people ia
Georgia, is declared by respectable
white and cOlored persons in Georgia
r to be fraud. They assert I'll at he and
his family live on the money, and thai
not one cent goes to charity.
At small party in Boston The hose
having as a guest genial New York
er, and wishing that he should have 4
good impression of BOstOns brains, in,
troduced him to Mr., IL, a gentle
, man of repute In literary circles and al
admirable cOnverSationaist. A fter a
while, encounterng his Gotham frient
alone again, he said "Ilow do you lik,
r Mr.. II, Dick ." every much in
. deed" was the reply, "He is a goo,
fellow, but (sotto voce) those trouser
were never made for him."
Another horrible murder has beer
committed by the natives of New Heb
D rides. Capt. Anderson of the labo
r schooner Lucy and Adelaide, and tin
, Government agent, went ashore at tn
Island Of st. Bartholomew in the ship
| hun nd 4 tl
e attacked by the natives. Capt. Ander
}. son was killed, but the agent succeed
p ed in escaping to neighboring village
, which ~as, fortunately, az enmity viii
u the natives who attacked them. H.
K was we'll treated, and CONVEY ed to tn
t ships boat, to which the Captain
body was brought Lowu by the mufdrl
ers who gave it up on being lbera,l,
y supplied with hatchets and other uten
II sis.