davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
Sucking it Through a keyhOle.

In the palmy days of the BOwery
Theater, under the management OF John
Hamblin, some excellent acting was seen
on these boards, the manager having
spared no pains to make this place of
amusement only second to the Old Park.
He employed some of the very best
American and foreign talent. An Ameri-
can tragedian that always drew i'm
mensely, and filled the house to over
flowing when he was sober enough to fill
an engagement, was secured by the
management, who agreed to give him a
libt raj portion of the receipts during a
weeks performances if he would abstain
from drinking. This proposition being
agreed to, Hamblin, to make assurance
dOubly sure, locked him up in the dress
ing room and put the key in his pocket.
Mr.. Actor becoming exceedingly dry
summoned the call boy to the outside OF
his door, and showed bank note to him
through the key hole. with instructions
to get soda bottle filled with brandy,
and also purchase clay pipe, he was tc
deliver the goods soon as possible, and
keep the balance of the change. In good
time the boy returned and asked fol
further instructions, he was directed tt
insert the stem Of the pipe in the key
hole, then fll the bowl with the fluid
saying, as he Vas bound not to drink
that he would smoke and take the conse
quence. That evening Hamt lin wa
astonishcd to see the celebrated acto
more than half seas over, but as n
acted his part SO we'll, he regulated tn
future smoking 30 as not to MATERIAL.
interfere with the engagement.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
ANYTHING but That.

He was on his knees to her. His face
was flushed, his eyes cleaned passionately
into hers he talked rapidly:
Nothing shall separate us evermore,
my darling. For your sake / will beard
the lion in his den! Twill face death on
the battlefield / will skim the seas! l
will endure all hardship, all suffering, all
miseryp
He paused and looked eagerly at her,
with his whole soul quiveriDg In his
eyes.
"Will you do all this for the sake OF
my love |" said she, gazing earnestly into
the burning eyes. 49,
eyes, yes a thousand times yesP
"And If we wed," said she, flushing
slightly, "will you get up first in the
morning and build the fire p
With a shrek of despair he fed
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
AnecdOte of DIR. Hedalan.

The Doctor was one of the most esti-
mable of men; yet in spite of all personal
advantages he was well advanced in
life before he could make up his mind to
marry. No misOgynist was he! Woman
kind he loved, yet in their presence he
was bashful man. He finally fitted up
his house afresh, and it was currently re-
ported that he was going to change his
state. On given day the good doctor
was seen at the home Of certain lady,
in bran new coat, wiping his "weel
powtherej head" with white handker-
chief and betraying much excitement of
manner, till the door was opened. AS
soon as he saw the fair one whom he
sought, calmly engaged in knitting
stockings, and not at all disturbed at his
entrance, his courage began to Ooze out,
and he sat OH the end of his chair, in a
pitiable confusion. With true good
breeding, she opened the conversation.
"Well, Doctor, hae we got through a.
your papering and painting yet? "a
clearing of the throat, but not word in
reply.) 81 am told your new carpets are
just beautiful" "a vigorous effort to
speak, ending in free use of his hand
kerchief.) "They say the pattern o the
dining.room chairs is something quite
out O the way. In short, that every.
thing is perfect" The Doctor advanced
his chair, simpering the while, ana said,
with gentle infection of his voice
which none but the most willful coul1
misinterpret, ma! ma! Miss J--n
1t is not quite perfect. 1t can not b'
quite that so long as there's ae thing
wanting" "And what can that be p
said the imperturbable spinster. Utter
ly thrown on his beam ends the poor mai
drew back his chair from its dangerou
proximity, caught up his hat, and il
tones of blasted hope gasped forth, Eth
dear! Eth /! Well, / am sure the thin
wanting ia a-a-a sidebOard ~
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
An Original Way to procure Sewing
Machine.

A well.known dressmaker on Ida Hill,
Troy, who has number of girls working
for her, has novel and cheap way ofpro-
curing sewing machines. When sew
ing-machine agent calls at her house to
sell a machine, she agrees to take it on
trial, and if it suits her she agrees to pay
in full for it at the time specified. But
she invariably refuses to pay any money
on it until she has given the machine a
fair trial.
After using the machine for a month
or two the agent puts in an appearance,
expecting to get her to pay, but in this
he is disappointed, as the machine, &C.
cording to the lady's statemant, is not q
good one. In this way the dressmakel
has for the past two years done most ot
her machine sewing, but the agents are
getting posted on her and she will soor
be obliged to buy machine.-Tro,
| Whig.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
Masks.

If we could only read each others
hearts we weuld be kinder to each other:
If we knew the woes and bitterness and
physical annoyance of our neighbors we
would make allowances for them which
we do not now. We &c about masked,
uttering stereotyped sentiments, hiding
our hear. .pangs and our headaches as
carefully as we can, and yet we wonder
that Others do not discover them by
intuition. We cover our best feelings
from the light; we do not so conceal our
resentments and dislikes, of which we
are prone to be proud. Often two
people sit close together, with &c! love
you" in either heart, and neither knows
Il. Either thinks, "I could be fond, but
what use of wasting fondness on one who
does not care for itT and SO they part
and 20 their ways alone. Life is
masq uerade, at which few unmask, even
to their very dearest. And though there
is need of much masking, would to
heaven we dared show plainly. our real
faces, from birth to death, for then some
few, at least, would truly love each
other.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
COmNIicatpd Relations.

The Poughkeepsie Eayle has the fol-
lowing suggested to it by James PartOn's
marriage: / married widow who had a
grown-up step-daughter. My father
visited my house very often, fell in love
with my step-daughter and MARI. ed her.
So my father became my son-in-law and
nv step.daughter my mother, because
she was my fathers wife. Some time
after my wife had a son; he was my
fathers brother-in.law and my uncle,
for he was the brother of my step
stepsdaughter.aIsO saTsa had a son; he was,
of course, my brother, and in the
meantime my grandchild, for he was the
son of my daughter. My wife was my
grandmother, because she was my
mothers mother. l was my wife's
husband and grandchild at the same
time, and as the husband of persons
grandmother is his grandfather, wasmy
own grandfather.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
The Black Hills.

AS. Jaauith, a wandering HOOsier,"
writes the indianapolis Journal from
CHEYENNE, Wyoming Territory, and fur
nishes some facts that will be OF interest
in view of the prevailing excitement with
regard to the Black Hills gold field.
Cheyenne is the nearest railroad station
to the new EldOrado, and is two hundred
and seventy.fve miles from Custar City,
the gold-hunter's Mecca. Swarms OF
pilgrims are coming into Cheyenne, and
the fever is raging furiously. The busi-
ness men of the place are doing their best
to keep up the excitement, and all man
ner of tales are put in circulation. A
majority of those who have prOspected
entertain no doubt as to the richness of
the gold deposit, and as an evidence of
sincerity lose no time in getting ready to
20 back when forced to come to town for
supplies. The Black Hills are in reality
nothing more than low range Of noun.
tains situated partly in Wyoming and
partly in Dakota. These hills extend
for several hundred miles, running nearly
northeast and southwest. Custar City,
the supposed locality of the richest de-
pOsits of gold, is rough settlement laid
out by the miners last fall, but no houses
were built then, owing to the fact that
pioneers were driven out of the territory
by the government. The road from
Custar City to Cheyenne is said to be
very good, with plenty of water for
teams. 1t is of course too early in the
season to prospect, for the ground is
frozen, and in some places covered with
snow. Permanent settlement is the only
advantage to be gained by going to the
diggings at this time.
In conclusion Mr.. Jaquith says: "The
middle of April will be soon enough fol
persons who are not used to rOughing it.
Times are reported dull in Castar City
at present. The miners are busy build
ing cabins and preparing for work when
the ground thaws out. hear COM
paratively little about the Indians the
general impression seems to be that
there is no danger at present, for it is toe
early in the season for them to be on the
war path. When the grass becomes
green, 50 that they can use their ponies
it will probably be different.
The fare from here to Custar, by
wagon, is twenty dollars. Each person
is allowed one hundred and fifty pounds
of baggage. Extra baggage can be SEN
in for seven cents per pound common
freight, six cents per pound. Competition
is lively here at present and conse
quently parties can tit out at reasonable
prices. If nothing happens | will leave
for the Black Hills in few days.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
Charles V and Antony Fugger.

In the sixteenth century Charles V
made considerable loan of Antony Fug-
ger, at Augsburg, before entering upon
his not very successful campaign against
the Algerines. When the mighty En-
peror passed through Augsburg after the
unsatisfactory issue of that campaign in
1541, Antony Fugger received and enter
tained him superbly in his mansion there.
The vast saloon is still shown in the
picturesque and famous old inn of the
Drei Mohren, into which the splendid
financier ushered his imperial guest. In
the huge fireplace pile OF fagots OF
costly Eastern san ndalwoOd had been built
M on two enormous andirons of massive
silver, and the banker kneeling on his
knees before Caesar, asking the imperial
pleasure as to lighting up the pile. The
day was chilly, the hall was immense,
and Cesar graciously admitted that
blaze would be agreeable to him. Upon
this Fupger drew from the mysterious
recesses of the multifarious garments
then worn by people of Importance, q
roll of papers, being neither more nor
less than the imperial bonds for the Afrl'
can loan before mentioned, thrust one
end of the roll into the fame of wax
candle, lighted the sandal-wood, and
tossed the bonds into the cracking blaze
The courtiers stood aghast with admira
ton at such unheard-of magnificence
feebly parodied in our own times by the
elder Baron Rothschild, when he lighted
a thousand-franc note and held 1t neal
the floor to help parsimonious French
Duke pick up louis which had rolled
under the whist-table. The Emperor
Charles, who combined in himself rich
vein Of Spanish humor with his strong
Flemish good sense, rewarded the lavish
financier OH the spot, by making him
Count of the Holy Roman Empire, bu
added, with a twinkle of his cool gra!
eyes, the decree that the Fuggers shoui.
bear forever in their escutcheon hand
some pair of asses ears.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
A Joke by Telegraph.

The best joke out, says the Burlington
Gazette, is on Brenizer, the chief operator
of the Burlington end of the b. Q; r. q
M. Railroad. We haven't any idea Of
telling it, money couldn't hire us to do
it. Brenizer had an important message
for West Liberty, and he was hurting
lightning flashes in the direction of that
liberal town with great vigor and ce!er-
ity; electric sparks flew from his agile
fingers like soapsuds on washday. "W"
is the call for that Office, and Brenizer
called "W" just six thousand times in
thirty minutes. The operator at one OF
the way offices who kept tally, predicted
that when Brenizer raised" he would
give him piece of his mind. Now the
operator at" "W" is lady. AT the end
of thirty minutes she came into the
office and answered her call. Brenizer
inquired, "Where have you been? have
been after you thirty minutes"
go, that's nothing" was the reply,
ga Young man in this town has been
after me for the last six months and
hasn't got me yet"
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
The Rloquence Of O'Connell.

Wendell Phillips says: do not think
I should exaggerate If l said that God,
since he made Demosthenes, never made
man 30 fit for great work as he did
O'Connell. You may think am partial
to my hero, very naturally. But John
Randolph, of Roanoke, when he got TO
London and heard o. COnnell, held up his
hands and said: "This is the man-those
are the lips, the most eloquent that speak
English in my day." And l think he
was right.
Webster could address bench OF
judges; Everett could charm college /;
Choate could delude a jury; Clay could
magnetic a Senate; Tom COrwin could
hold mob in his right hand; but none
of them could do more than one thing.
The wonder of OCOnnell was, that he
could Out-talk Corwin, he could charm a
college better than Everett; could de-
lude a jury better than Choate, and leave
Clay far behind in magnetizing Senate.
have heard all the grand and majestic
orators of America, who are singularly
famed OH the worlds circumference. l
know what was the majesty of Webster ;
/ know what it was to melt under the
magnetism of Henry Clay; l have seen
eloquence in the iron logic of Calhoun ;
but all three together never surpassed,
and no one of them ever equaled the
great Irishman. In the first place he had
what is half the power with the pOpu-
lar orator-he had majestic presence
God put that royal soul into a body AZ
royal He had, in his early youth, the
brow of JOve or Jupiter, and the stature
of Apollo; little OCOnnell would have
been no O'Connell at all. Sidney Smith
said of Lord John RusselPs five feet,
when he went down to Yorkshire after
the reform bill had been carried by the
stalwart hunter of Yorkshire, "That
little shrimp! What! he carry the Re
form bill !"" No, no." said Sidney, ono
he is large man but the labOrs of the
bill shrunk him." Do you remember
the story of Webster that Russell Lowell
tells, when we, in Massachusetts,, were
about to break up the Whig party
Webster came home to Fanieul Hall to
protest, and four thousand Wings went
to meet him. He lifted up his majestic
presence before the sea of human faces
his brow charged with thunder, and hi
said: "I am a Whig-a Massachusetts
Whig--a Revolutionary Whig-a Con
stituti.nal Whig-a Fanieul Hall Whig
And if you break up the Wing party
where am to go?" And Russell Lowell
says: "We held our breaths, thinking
where he could go; but if he had beer
five feet five" said Lowell, "we woult
have said: hang it, who cares wher'
you co."
Well, O'Connell had all that. TheI
he had beside, what Webster never had
and what Clay had not, the magnetism
and grace that melt million souls int
his. When saw him he was sixty-six
1.-the as boy; his every attitude wa
beauty every gesture grace. Macready o
Booth never equaled him. Then he ha
what so few American speakers have :
a voice that sounded like gamut. Wit
the slightest possible favor of Iris
brogue, he would tell a story that woul
} make all Exeter Hall laugh 1; and tn
next moment tears were in his voice, lik
an old song, and five thousand peopl
would be in tears.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
Old Fashioned Corruption In England.

A correspondent writes to the Cincin-
natl Commercial: One of the alarming
results held out in connection with the
discovery of the malfeasance of Secretary
Belknap, is the impression necessarily to
follow in Europe, that our Government
and people have lost all claims to the
confidence and respect of every nation
where the sentiment of national honor
is cherished; that the sale of post SUIT
lership by the Secretary of War, nego-
tiated through his wife, and under cir
cumstances indicating guilty knowl-
edge en- the part of the Chief Executive,
will be regarded as without parallel in
the history of the cabinet ministries OF
any of the great powers. If we must
blush little, from our constitutional
sympathies in favor of high standard
of morals and integrity in public men,
let us at least not forget that there is
ono extremity of distress that should
reduce great nation to despair" Eng
land is, perhaps, the point as to which
we are most sensitive in reference to
criticism. The integrity of her National
councils is not infrequently subject OF
selfcongratulation and hence the dread
of comparison with our present Cabinet.
Not to 60 back very remotely, however,
we find Master General of the Ord
nance degrading the Office of Com
mander-in.C Chief into broker of com
missions" 1t is not ut all contested
that up to the close at least of the reign
of William Nv, commissions in the army
were not merely given to favorites and
dependents, but were sold by the Com
mander-in-C Chief. One of the uncles Of
her present Majesty, the Duke of York
allowed the proceeds to 60 to his mis-
tresses, and, in fact, there were many
ladies having influence in Court to pro
cure Government appointments, vino
replenished their purses for the card
table through such pecuniary considera
tions. 1t is not great many years since
advertisements might have been seen il
the London Times Offering from one tt
two thousand pounds sterling to any
lady or gentleman who would procure
for the advertiser Government appoint
ment of adequate value" The HOME
Office notified the newspapers that sucl
publications would not be permitted
probably as involving constructive
libel. The word Government" wa
subst quently stricken ont, and nov
where "any lady or gentleman" is OF
fered bonus for procuring an appoint
ment, the advertisement will not b
received unless modified to suit tn
modern idea, and perhaps the moderl
practice, by substituting for the word
Government appointment "a perma
nent mercantile situation of adequat
value"
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23

How TO SPELL.-When you are given
a word to spell, 90 through 1t at one
jump. Don't go feeling along as If you
were on thin Ice, or down you will go,
sure. Tackle it in this style: In In,
with an In, di di, with a di, with an
Indi, an an, with an an, with an !ndi,
with an Indian, a-p ap, with an ap, with
an In, with al Indi, with an Indian, with
an Indianap, o, with an o, with an In,
with an Indi, with an Indian, with an
Indianap, with an Indianapo, lis lis, with
A lis, with an In, with an Indi, with an
| Indian, with an Indianap, with an In,
dianapo, with an Indianapolis
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23

MR.. MILLER, residing near Salida,
CAL, informs The Pacific Rural Press that
he has in bis garden species of wheat
which may be termed perpetual. A few
kernels Of the grain were furnished him
and sown. 1t matured and bore healthy
crop, and continues sending out new
shoots from the parent root. These new
shoots continue to present themselves
and bear their crops, when Immediately
another one comes from the same root
The same roots, first. presenting them
selves two or three years since, are still
alive and have borne several crops
Moisture and warm weather are all that
are required to keep it constantly repro
| ducing itself.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23

Mr.. WILLIAM BUSH, living at Monroe
City, Mo-, on the line of the Hannibal
and st. 10. Railroad, has a hog that
weighs 1, ,460 pounds. He is fthe Poland
China breed, six years old, and Is per-
fectly well formed and moves about on
foot as easily as any really fat hog could
Mr.. Bush expects to take him to Phila-
delphia during the Centennial exhibi-
tion, where he will, no doubt, combine
the character of lion with the hog, as
such an animal must naturally attract
great attention anywhere.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23

SAM Cox moves that committee OF
Congress be appointed to ascertain il
there is science of money. No com
mittce necessary. The science of money
has already been stated in an apothegem
" Work like the devil and don't spend a
cent" Micawber had it, too: Annual
income, twenty pounds; annual ex.
penditure, nineteen, nineteen six-re.
suit, happiness. Annual income twenty
pounds, annual expenditure twenty
poundsought and six-result, misery. The
blossom Is blighted, the leaf is withered
the god of day is in darkness-in short
you are foored. As ] am"
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
AbOut Cents.

The nickel cent is no longer coined,
and the two-cent bronze piece, which,
by the way, was very convenient, was
abolished in the act of 1873. The fact
that large quantities of the twocent
bronze are in circulation mislends many
business men. They may be sent to the
mint at Philadelphia for redemption,
but when they are SO sent they are sent
to the melting pot. The bronze One-cent
piece is also subject to redemption at the
mint, but unless mutilated or otherwise
unfit for circulation it is cleansed and re-
issued. The same is the case when
nickel coin of the denomination of three
or FIVE cents are forwarded for redemp.
ton. If in good condition, they are
cleansed, overlooked and re-issued. The
nickel one-cent piece goes to the melting
pot when sent for redemption. 1t proved
too clumsy.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
OUR WOMEN.

What is the theme that now I sing,
With rattling bones and banjo's ring,
While tamborine aloft fingY
Who they that, In our homes OF ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please,
Through life's tight places men do squeeze
Our Women!
Who smile when favorite china breaks2
Who take the topmost buckwheat cakes2
Who nurse the baby when 1t wakes?
Our Womenl
Who drop the needle for the pen,
And make the echoes ring again,
To wake those stupid things, the men?
Our Womenl
Who k,ndled the Centennial fame
In distant States, where, dull and tame,
The men forgot their country's fame?
Our Women!
Who, when the men, In blank dismay,
Sat wondering If the thing would pay,
Pulled back their skirts and led the way?
Our Women!
Who stormed old Independence hall,
And woke the councils, one and all,
With sixty-thousand-power call
Our Women!
Who, when Centennial stock was low,
Did bravely take their books and go,
And begged share from every beau?
Our Women!
Who leave the cradle and the tub?
Who coax papa and wheedle hub,
Unheeding jest and gibe and snub?
Our Womenl
Who worked all day and talked all night,
To build their house, and put to fight
The fools who sneer at Women's Right?
Our Women!
Who walked the days Of Washington;
ContriviDg fete and fair aud fun,
While Polly put the kettle on?
Our Women!
Who in the loveliest array,
Turn work Centennial into play,
And gather money every dayY
Who, when the days Of toll were long;
When meath the burden bowed the strong,
Still cheered the faint with buoyant song?
Our Women!
And sang that lay that no man wrote:
" Forever shall our banner float,
Our orihamme, the Pettico6?"
Our Women!
Who, when Centennial days are DER,
And Patriotism asks no more,
viii be the things we most adore?
Our Women!
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1876-03-23
of the mass of human life so terribly and

of the mass of human life so terribly and
instantly quenched.
"Down with the boats from the quar-
ter-launch the long. boat" The COM
mand, though it could not have been ut
tered or executed sooner with safety,
came too late. The arm of Seth had been
too fatally sure. His own boat narrowly
escaped being sucked into the whirlpool
made by the sinking schooner, and not
one of the Frenchman's crew rose or
again saw the face of day.
Seth entered the cabin, and walking
up to Jethro, said: "The Grampus is
saved, but it had been less costly if thou
had been wiser at Nantucket. Here.
after in times like these arm thy ships;
the best way to be at peace is to show
thyself ready for war"
And bowling his head upon his hand
Jethro answered nothing.