The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-11-25

OLleT gay III uOOu, WuCu thO pOJo ihhSu III
spectaces, and sent him home with lantern t
apologize to his landlady for being out till mid
night.
The average Elgin cheek, says the Aurora
Ners, sticks out far as to entirely conceal thu
nose in a side view photograph. Look at thit
from the Bluff city:
Found-A buckskn mitten. If the owner vii
leave the other one at this Office he will greatly
oblige the finder.
A Western paper, the editor Of which is un
doubtedly an accomplished scholar, says "Nml
is Latin for fodder" The Chicago Hotel Reportc,
facetously adds it is wise child that knows it,
own fodder in these foreign dressings.
The great question is at last settled. A Penn.
sylvania woman says she can walk twenty miles
day in mems clothes aid only twelve in female
apparel.
The local of the West Chester NetcS caution
young men against marrying girl who can't dc
up a shirt. Better advise the girls to marry ed.
itors, and then there will be no shirts to do up
The granger poet in the Joliet Sun grinds out
the following PASTORAL:
IT'S midnight, and the setting sun
Is rising in the wide, wide west
The rapid rivers slowly run;
The frog is on his downy nest
The pensive pig and sportive COW,
Hilarious, hop from bough to Dough!
Elgin has society called " The Mutual Horse
Protection Society (which, says the Rockford
Journal means, it may be supposed, that the
horses are bound together to protect one anoth.
sr from the Elgin jackasses who walk on their
hind legs. -
Rutland County, Vermont, says the Danvle
Star, sent 5000 visitors to the Centennial and is
now bewang the 49,, 600 dollars thus spent
outside the state. People who were able to 90
to the centennial at no greater cost than SllG7
apiece and then whine over the cost must make
their money by some such profitable occupation
as clipping nickels.
Joncsboro, Illinois, must be little paradise
to live in just now. The Gdzette says hickory
nuts are SO plenty there as to sell for 20 cts. a
bushel. and the weather just knocks the per
simmons Off any other weather Of any other
place in the world, not excepting Italy. 1t is
old glory ITSELF"
VIII the young man OF the period be good?
viii he cut of several yards Of his new overcoat
and give them to the poorg
The polls closed at O'clock The man who
stayed later, however, may have waited to get
drink Of water.
Though it is possible the author means we'll
the following is rather rough on old Frankly.
lin"
When others stunned the murky sky
Where flash on flash was bright,uinp
Great Franklin went to fly his kite
And bottled up the lightning.
And since his time, when cares Cypress,
And hard the times are lightning
The printer seeks to drown his woes
In draughts OF bottled lightning"
When badly tattered-his warm heart,
place for grief to rankle in
lie takes the lightning" flies his kite,
And thinks himself Franklin.
The streator Monitor admonishes the Marshal
to have the snow shoveed of the sidewalks and
then reminds its rural readers that II is n rood
time now while the weather Is fair to gather in
the outstanding potatoes" And the WonjtorI
ought to have added, to dig the unhusked corn
Nothing so useful to the grangers as paper
That gives them timely and judcious advice how
to attend to their business.
Another powerful Illustration OF the folly oil
woman's rights Mrs. Peters, Of DODGE Co
Wisconsin, broke her forearm while huskingI
corn a few days ago. No doubt her poor hus.
band had argued and argued with her that wo
mans proper sphere is the house. but she would
have her own way.
An iowa woman having been spoken OF as
having one foot in the grave cruel common.
tator remarks that there must be biz hole ont
there somewhere.
The campaign poet was a fraud and failure
nut the postelectlon poetastcr has Just struck
II. Witness one stanza:
Is no peace for d soul
mats distracted with doubtp
Let us know who is in
Let us know who Is out:
FOR our eyes they grow dim
As on figures We gaze
That make IL for Tilden
ana make 1t for Hayes"
We know a fellow, who wbe, bo ,,oo, ,..,,..-
WIN his girl, has To pull OIL his boo,s oy1 , W
down his collar. The monster ought 10 hn sb" "'
Hes probably a Pennsylvania, where tbc
Oundling style OF counting prevails.
if distinguished citizens Of both no,i,i.,,
PiHes are 10 90 TO New Orleans to essjst In
the count, the st. Louis Democrat wants 10 Know,
why Can schurz don't 60 He's dlstlpgpishcd
citizen Of both political parties.
vermont legislator had woman arrested
the other day for wlhking at him from the 40,
Iery' This is step in the right direction Wirl,.
ing al legislators is one Of the things tina, ain.
this nation. ais
Durihg recent public welcome given 10 Gen
Butler at Bangor, Ne, there was stretched acros.
street a flag bearing the motto: "welcome q
Gen. Butler, the Hero Of Five Forks, and Goa
knows how many spoons"
Editorial amenities are nowhere be,,er u,d..
stood than In Mississippi. Instead of dealing IN
mean inuendos, the Grenada Sentinel mildly Cha
scterizes contemporary as "a liar, poltroon .
thief, traitor, and one who has betrayed IN,
party, and would betray his family his GA :.