The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-09-27
SIDE NOTES.

| Ialheu Il serious conclusion.
Thousand Of base deceivers arc hung
every night On the back of chairs.
No matter how hard times may be,
bees always cell all the honey they
make.
1t is proposed to send an amateur
brass band to Montana and make the
Indians go West.
Sioux squaws do not wear striped
stockings. Three streaks of green
paint are cooler and cheaper.
The poet spoke of ''the unwinking
eagle" This is nonsense. The eagle
is always a wing-king.
Professor of Isactoric.-"W what
important change came over Bnrns in
the latter part?' Senior" He died"
When a young lady and gentleman
have a controversy about kissing, they
generally put their heads together.
Alta church entertainment in Cali
fornia rum-punch was snuggled in as
cold tea. The desire for tea became
great.
When Sitting Bull declined to 60
on the reservation, it was probably be-
cause he had a mental reservation of
his own to resort to.
Nearly all the post-oifices in Texas
are in charge of females. 1t works so
well that the males now arrive and
depart every hour in the day.
Are you lost my little fellow" ask
ed gentleman of a fOur-year-Old on
Main street Saturday. "NO," he sob
bed in reply, "b-but m-my mother is.
Marriage is a promotion" says
George Eliot. In the eyes of such
reasoner a man with his third wife
would doubtless pass for brigadIer
general.
When a woman comes to the door
and calls for her husband, "Hen-RE-E'
finishing the last syllable in capital
letters-yOu may know that she is not
in capital humOr.
Hope is said to be the brightest
when it dawns from fears. This Is a
very beautiful thought but it seldom
occurs to a man who has just got up
off his wife's new hat.
a Wisconsin editor blows about the
La Crosse hotels, and the San of that
city asks him what he could tell about
an hotel bill of fare by licking salt
barrel out on the sidewalk.
Much has been said of the enOr-
mus consumption of tobacco, and yet
YOU will be surprised TO find how few
men use it when your supply gives out
and you ask for 4 chew.
at is easier for q camel to 90
through the knees of an idol, than for
rich man to enter heaven, Is the
Interpretation which a cOlOred preach
err gave to these Scriptures.
The Whitehall Times asks: "IfNe-
cessity is the mother of invention, will
some sharp pharagraphists please in
form us who the father is?" WHY, the
husband of Mrs. Necessity of course.
Isn't this APPARENT enough.
A printers devil propounds the fol,
F lowing: "What is the the difference be-
tween a thirty-dollar-a-week position.
at the case and the chief the Sioux
Ans. zone is bully Sit and the
other is a sitting Bull"
circumstances alter cases." said 9
lawyer TO his client, 49, losing hi;
fourth law suit. Gases alter circum
stances" savagely replied the client
''By your management of my cases my
circumstances have been nearly ruin
ed"
| "Where's the barr" asked a dirty
: looking stranger of the bell-bOy of thu
; hotel the other day. "What kind Of
. bar ?" asked the latter. "Why sa-
loon, bar of course: what do you sup
pose mean ?' "Well," drawled tn,
boy, Il did not know but you nigh
mean a bar Of SOAP"
A Western tailor advertised
= "Wanted-two or three girls to put OIL
pants" DIR Mary Walker called mex
morning and said" "Now bring OIL
your pants and don't look" The tailO
explained, and she left with a sorrow
: full air, vowing she would send him
: grammar as soon as she got home.
: Mr. Danna's theological disquisitiOn
I lead the Washington STR to Wicked,
n observe that Danna without hel
= would be literally, man without
+ country and the SIN would like to sal
Twinkle, twinkle, little star" but i
}. is against its principles to quote an
e but elegiac poetry.
u n Chicopee man had cat whic
: cared no longer TO possess. He too
the animal into garden, struck it min
! times on the head with Il hammer
o and, rs, it still moved, he boxed il
y ears with n spade, and then buried il
=" Next morning the eat walked serenl
u into breakfast, willing to forget til
:, past.
&c The first seeds of matrimonial dt
It cord are usually SHOWN immediatel
to after going to housekeeping. 1t is nc
because the tender wave of harmon