The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-06-15
ALI Ssrts Of Paragraphs.

- There is fellow who comes to
town once in while who is part ish-at
least his head swims.
"A farmer has moved with the same
scythe for thirty-fve years, tits said, and
he expects to use it until he is no now
er.
"A gourmand once said: ITO enjoy q
stuffed turkey thoroughly, there should
be only two present-yourself and the
turkey" =,
Some mean fellow after saying that
there is one physician to every eight
hundred inhabitants, adds that they be-
gin this way, but after awhile there are
not so many inhabitants.
- Sixteen hundred young women in
Cleveland have pledged themselves not
to associate with young men who drink.
This leaves a chance for 1900 other
young women to get drunken husbands.
= It was New Jersey wife who said,
"My dear, if you can't really drink bad
coffee without abusing me, how is it that
YOU can always drink bad whisky with.
out abusing the barkeeper?" Argument
exhausted.
"Why is it, my dear sir" said Wat
fes' landlady to him the other day, that
you newspaper men never get rich ?" II
do not know" was his reply, Except it
is that dollars and sense do not always
travel together"
- MADAM" said trance medium,
your husbands spirit wishes to commu-
nicate with you.'' "No matter" "said the
widow; "if he's got no more spirit in the
other world than he had in this, it's not
worth bothering about"
"My poem is rather lengthy" she
said, and maybe you won't have room for
it this week" The editor yawned and
replied: ooh, yes, we could find room for
it if it was twelve times as long-our
stove is a large one, you see.
- The Ohio Legislature has passed q
bill providing for the punishment, by
fine and Imprisonment, of all persons who
get on or off railroad trains that are in
motion. If o man thinks proper to break
his neck in that way, we don't think rs
anybody's business.
A farmer in Randolph county is
using brooms to sweep his cotton with
It seems to us that if the plan proves
successful, the ladies might include cot,
ton raising among their other household
duties, and by that means allow the men
more time for social intercourse with the
world.
-Danbury News IA sick bed is a
good place for observation. We learn
some things there which we could not
very we'll acquire elsewhere. One OF
them is that two women whispering in
the next room can be plainly heard,
while you might lay there and yell at
the top of your voice without making
either or even both of them together
hear you. We don't pretend to under
stand this, but know it is so"
"A clergyman who had been staying
for some time at the house of a friend, on
going away, called to him little Tommy,
the four-year-old son of his host, and
asked him what he should give him for
a present. Tommy who had a great re-
spect for the "cloth," thought it was his
duty to suggest something of religious
nature, so he answered, hesitatingly: .!
Il think should like Testament, and
1 kno,o should like popgun! p
Petersburg Post: A young woman
of Baltimore, who has been pronounced
incurably ill from a spinal disease, has
requested a prominent physician after
her death to make an examination into
the cause of her diseases, in the presence
of a few medical students and physicians.
Her reasons for making the request are
that the post mortem can do her no in
jury, and may benefit science; that she
desires in this manner to express her
gratitude to her physicians who labored
for her relief; and lastly she regards it
as duty she owes her sex and her God.
She is curious woman.
An amusing incident happened
on the occasion of the visit of Dom Pedro
to the Supreme Court in Washington.
Dom Pedro was conversing in an audible
tone with the Brazilian minister while
Justice Miller was reading an opinion
The Marshal of the Court raped and
commanded silence, and Justice Miller
suspended his reading and remarked
sternly; "We don't allow but one to talk
here at a time" The Emperor was
quite discounted, and shut up at once,
and as soon as he recovered his equanim-
ity, left. Neither the Justice nor the
Marshal knew who he was. At
terward some one remarked to Justice
Miller that it was the Emperor of Brazil
whom he had rebuked, when the Justice
said Emperors must respect the proprie-
ties of the court room just as we'll as