The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-04-11
Small Talk.

A dinner lubricates business.
Indian affairs-johnnycakes.
A bosom friend-a clean shirt.
A rush.light-a headlight on an OK.
press train.
A business that is picking up-the
rag.gatherer's.
Which is the more combustible-co
tonwood or a tow boat u?
How to make good advice go long
way: send it by telegraph.
Children, the destiny of the coming
generations is in your hands
Next to an overdue steamer an overdue
note causes most anxiety.
"My dear sir" is the way to commence
telling man that his bill is too high.
1t is not enough to remember the poor.
A little help occasionally will be accept.
able.
The statement that glycerine will IRE.
move" freckles is true only of nitro.gly.
cerine.
Borrow all the money you can and put
il in savings bank is the way to become
wealthy.
A young mau narrowly escaped being
cut off with shilling. His father had
no shilling.
1t is an unpleasant fact that what your
friends call self.possession, your enemies
call brass.
The Philadelphia Bulletin says that
every cabinet officer ought to have q
bell.punch
Why did Othelo live at Venice and
not at Rome2 Because he was Moor q,
home there.
A quiet and witty man combines tn,
qualities Of two kinds of champagne
still and sparkling.
Said philosopher my friend con
Quoted his future wife to the altar-ant
here his leadership came to an end"
"He who laughs can commit no deadl,
sin," said the wise and sweet hearte,
woman who was the mother of Goethe.
This is one Of the sweetest me.cies O
E life that 1.-The heart knoweth its own bit
terness," and knowing it can hide it,
Fl, Fl.
Why are some women very much lik
tea kettles ? Because they sing ava,
. pleasantly, and all at once they boi
over.
One of the easiest and best ways t
expand the chest is to have q good larg
heart in it. 1t saves the cost Of gymnsi
tics.
0 A certain woman, never a widow
\ frequently speaks Of her "ate husband,
because he never gets home till afte
v midnight.
\ An abundance Of high life" an
Questionable" weddings are promised f
), New York during the months of Apr
and Msy
l. A sign Of SPRING. woman with ht
IS dress pinned up, brush in her hant
= mischief in her eye, and splotches
s. whitewash on her face.
y Some one observes that English mott
ers are satisfied with teaching their chi
dren how to speak French mothe
instruct them how to talk,
The momentous question Augustus
"Now, Emily, do you love me, or do yc
D. not :" Emily-"Wcll, if say l don
is shall | have to return your presents ?"
g : A lazy fellow falling distance Of fif
= = feet and escaping with only a fe
- scratches. bystander remarked that
" 20 was "too slow to fall last enough to hu
70 himself"
le Eight out Of every ten of the leadil
s. journals in the principal cities of Englal
ii and Scotland are arranging to have cc
y. respondents in this country during t
Y. centennial
~ Men are better citizens for being ed
III GATED. The stronger the sources of e
., ernment the stronger the government.
81 the "bayonets that think" are the mt
u potent, the ballots that think are {
u most benefcent.
f., Poetry is not made out of the und'
n. standing The question Of common sen
ll is always: "What is it good for ?"
er question which would abolish the re
II, and be triumphantly answered by
"a. cabbage. - LoTsH.
he MADAM" said a trance mediu
We "your husbands spirit wishes to CONN
ire nicate with you" "No matter" said ,
os widow "if he's got no more spirit
no the other world than he had in this
not worth bothering about"
ter "My poem Is rather lengthy"
for said, "and may be you won't have 70
om for it this week. The editor yawned Q
nal replied, "Oh, yes, we could find ro
of for it If it was twelve times as long,
Dr.. stove is large one, you see."
a. a. DR.. Newman spoke, in recent I
~. ~. mon, "of the sad funeral processit
~, I which followed Abel to the grave.
oas o irreverent woman in the audience mud
AL