, 1876-05-07
HUnIOR,

The man on the beat: 4 policeman.
Beecher's pattisans still think T. IT'S nos,
Z. T.-too thin
40, let US be iswfal!" " Delicious strawberries
are in the market.
Mary Merritt did not smi1ch the reputation ol
/ Bristow. He's no such man.
"Tha Bellies OF the Kitchen" will soon re-
turn to the old Vokes at home+
Ths most successful play Of the SEASON his
been that Of " Our Boys 1t Louisville.
II man wants to know what "trns inward
ness means, let him try some early cucumbers.
Tia Italian name Of Columbus was Christofero
Colon, and his children we're the original seml-
| colons.
One Of the wives Of the Khedi7e Of Egypt il
! very homely. She is said to be harem-scar-
nm kind OF a:Woman.
Hotels in Philadelphia arc serving up Centen-
! NAL haah. What was left On the platas Of
! hundred guests, probably.
4 river Of ink has bean discovered in Algeria.
| II that country was large enough, what = para
disc it woutd be for the poets.
''silyer threads among the gold". Four men,
aged, respectively, TO- II, Is, and 81, arrived at
the Black Hills, last week, to try their luck.
According to the New York Mercury, \ mans
hide, when tanned, will make two pairs Of boots.
Ona pair il sometimes used to tan man's hide.
Andrew Gum. Of Portland. Me-, has petit
toned the Legislature to change his name, be-
cause the street~gamins oau hin little boy "a
aon Of i. Gunn."
Tha Detroit man that 1sviad On Leyy's cornet
did not make much after all He cornet get
mora than s10o for it, and hs says hall be
bowed il he cau play it.
William II. Evarts has gone to Woodstock,
Vt, to prepare his Centennial Grafton. It ls
supposed that among the Green Mountains he
Woodstock it more brilliantly with rhetorical
gems than in the vicinity Of Brooklyn
4 boy With rueful countenanca was seen
coming out Of q wood-shed the other day, fol-
lowed by his mother With 4 slipper. When
questioned BY playmate as to the cause Of his
sorrow, he said his mother WAS giving him sonna
"botson facts.''
In the shs4raca On the Schuylkil, in July,
there will be contestant from St. LouB, who
is now having ope Of his sisters shoes calked
aud put in order for practice the Mississippi.
while the other will be sent to the Centennial rs
q model OF 3 new racing-shel-
One Of the "tramping jours.~ who had evi-
IDENTITY been 'setting 'em up F." for the boys the
day previous, got things mixed IN q sermon the
other evening. The copy read: I'VE shall say
Christ is risen." The T. J. set it up: 1--WE
ahall B8y drink ia ruin" Well, soma folks think
8o."
TOWN oIEAN1SGs.
Intoxicating music: "'ale to the chief"
II men would set good examples, they might
hatch better habits.
What is the difference bstwesn . osockerv-
dealer and a cabinet-maker2 One ealla tea-sets,
and the other settess.
Prof. c.: "Mr. -, what will bo the effect
Il bold piecs of calcite in The blov-pipe
fame2" Student: It will get bot"
A Granger writes to rural paper to xsk
"How long COWS should be milked2" Why the
same as ehort COWS, Of course.-New YorE COM
HeTc1dL
Topic: Geological disc1sGon. PHncfpsi:
"Wss it colder OF warmer hundred years ago
than It present ?" Pupil (honestly): II rt,ally
don't recollect, Sir"
Landlord. didn't you sver hars gentlema m
stop With you before :" Are you . gentle
man 2" Yes. am. eThan usvar had osse
stop with mo BEFORE
"Ab. doctor. I'm out again let me- thank
you my dear fellow" Doctor: ..Bus, non- |
.ensa1 never came to SEQ you while you were !!
ILL.," swell, that's why I'm thanking yon~-
You have considerable floating population
n this viliage, haven't you ?" asked 4 stranger
# one OF the citizens Of village the AIissis-
5ppi "WeH. y0s-rather," Was chs reply. |
About half the year the water Is up to the
wine1owa.a
"You cannot keop mo down." shouted
somewhat windy orator 1t = public meeting; ]
Though may be pressed belom tho Waves. /
ise agair you will find that come to the sur
ace, gentlen,eo." "Yes," said all old whaler
q she audience. 'you come to tns surface to
,1ow."
The Bottles family moved last week to saya
100 in rent. It cost s75 to move, and they now
Fant to know how they can recover $500 for
amage to the furniture. Bottles aud the truck
1au had q mutual council about it On the side-
falk, and it coat 8ohlss 910 to havs both eyes
epaired.
It is not really necessary to have lamp b1rn-
oR to break lamp-chlmney- The chimney nill
nap il the lamp bo not lighted. The only WAY
, avoid these accidents is to ksep the chimney (
an empty room by itself, securely lock tifo
oor. and stand outside d&y and might with =
rawu sword
PERSONAL.
I