The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1876-06-16
HU.uOROrs.

'''Be' ee'Nnhft' w ttt tfV
quet players are now made to mattel
the colors Of the ball of each player.
ANOTHER millionaire is reported tc
be on the verge Of eternity. The un
usual mortality among wealthy men,
lately. makes us feel uneasy. + Frank
lin (Ky.) Patriot.
AUNT SUSAN says: "Suppose all tn,
men were in one country, and all th,
women in another, with a big -riveI
between them! Good graciousl what
lots Of poor women would be drown
ed"
CAPT. GLAzrER is ON horseback
trip from Maine to California. If,
when he arrives at his destination, he
will sit down in keg of wet salt, he'll
be a very smart man. Franklin Ky. }
Patriot.
A Minnesota lady, in taking her
morning cape lately, put her jaw out
Of joint. and il was two days before
the doctor coul1 get il ia p!scs again.
Her husband says he hasn't had sueh
vacation since his married life be-
gun.
AN old sailor, passing through n
graveyard, saw on one of the tomb
stones, 81 still live" 1t was too much
for Jack, and shifting his quid, he
calculated: "Well, I've heard say
there are cases in which a mar may
lie, but if was dead I'd own it,
A coUNTRYNAN went into a cheap
hotel the other day and complained Of
the towel in the wash-roonl. 'Pshaw," :"
said the landlord, II don't see why
you should find fault with it. Two
hundred men have wiped on it this
morning, and you are the first to COM
plain
WHEN a Rochester policemen or
ders a corner loafer to move on, the
loafer takes of his hat, strikes an atti.
tude, and replies. "Sadly do ! again
take up the weary burden Of my life.
l leave you in regret. but not in an
ger. Heaven smile ON you and bless
you. Farewell" Then he moves.
THERE is an eleven year old girl in
Illinois, who weighs 200 pounds.
Hence the demand in her neighbor-
hool for revival Of the ancient bal
lad:
'Possum up the gum-tree, raecoon up the hollow,
Pretty girl at our house, as Eat as she waiow.
-[Courier-Journal.
'MY son." said Westchester pa
rent, as his lS-year old offspring stood,
carpet-bag in hand, upon the thresh-
old, 'you are going to the Centennial.
Promise me that during your absence
you will shun bad company. and keep
your feet from the doors of ale houses
and billiard saloons" Father" re-
piled the young man. with the memo
ry Of the last caucus floating through
his mind, II cannot; ] go uninstruct.
cd and unpledged."
BRIGHAM Young sees the folly and
danger of having so many wives, now.
The other day he was seized with Sc
we're cold, and each of his forty-two
wives compelled him to try remedy
Of her own preparation, and no two
were alike. Twenty-four Mrs. Youngs
forced him to swallow herb teas aud
pills. and bitters. and the other eigh-
teen slapped plasters, blisters. and
hot pie-dishes on his body, where they
would do the most good, until he
wished he were dead-and nearly had
his wish.
A FLArrERER.-A little fellow ran
to his mother the other day and asked:
"Ma, can have some bread and
JAM"
His mother wishing to break hin
OF the vicious habit, replied:
"When | was your age | couldn't
get anything to eat between meals il
wanted it.
"Ycs," said the boy, after a mo
ment's pause, "but you dids'l have q
good nice mama. did you'"
That settled it in favor Of the young