The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-04-27
Miscellaneous


A man Away, feels out when he !.
taken In.
The wArmest kind Of hat-one that's
got stove In.
Georgia cries Peas. green peas. when
there Il no peas
An honest meal cannot BE- made from
boned turkey.
When lady u proud Of her small feet.
hasn't she limited undeFstandingf
What's going on 2 said a well known
bore 20 Douglas Jcrroid. Il am. was
the reply, and on he went
A man may be taid 70 have been
drinking like fsh when he ends that
be has taken enough 10 make his head
swim.
A physician boasted al dinner that he
cured his own hams. when one Of his
guests remarked Doctor, I'd sooner be
your ham than your patient"
Is your house a wapm one. landlordf
askcd gentleman In search Of a house
IL ought 10 be. was the reply. "the
painter gave 4 two coats recently
There is a woman in Jersey 40 soonom.
ical that the other night. while her bus.
band was abcd. she turned and made
over his last pair OF pantaloons for one
Of the children.
There ., economy in travelling on the
last mail trains. You make what you
"a ~ L.
length Of time.
Tho Boston Post wants 10 know what
sort Of an animal the father Of a mule a.
Look in the mirror and go { New York
Herald
What u the difference between a por.
son going up stairs aud another looking
upstairs THE one stares up steps. while
the other steps upstairs.
Professor Ito Freshman what is
circler Freshman (aiter much rehcc
tion)-"A round. straight line. with a
hole In the middle
DO you take sugar ? asked hoatss.
Of tho Rochester Democrat editor Yes
m, one lump. and just a mite of bic
ters. New York Herald
That was a smart little girl who. In
answer 20 the catochiam's questions
What u the outward. visible sign or
form in haptismf replied The BABY"
Tom More compares love 10 a potato.
because Il shoots from the eye" Or
rather exclaimed Byron. because Il
becomes ell the lsss BY pairing
A Brooklyn bachelor mentions the fact
that the scratch Of = female baby IL a..
ways more sudden and treaoherous than
that Of male baby Il Brooklyn Argus
The man who ever attempted 10 Put
down twenty yards of carpet will have
no sympathy for the Massachusetts tack
factory. which burned the other day
Detroit Free Press.
A man may take = cold bath and exer.
else with mbbells every morning. bat
he won't "whoop-la" much around q NO.
man who parts her hair on one side -
IBrooklyn Argus.
A bill 10 prohibit the sale Of intoxicat.
ing liquors within four miles Of the Cali.
fornia University Il called b q San Fran.
cisco paper An act 10 promote psdesiri.
snism among students
An old edition Of Morsss geography
says Albany has four hundred dwelling
houses and twenty four hundred inhahl
tants. all standing with their gable ends
10 the street
The boy bowling In major. the girl in
minor. two singing nurses. and between
wet diapers and milk bottles sit ! AZ .
loving father. is the way Bismarck do
seribcs his married life
I An English genius is working on .
machine 10 utilize the swell Of the sea
I The only way 10 utilize the swell Of
7 the land is 10 bury him alongside Of ca.
cumbcr vines Detroit Free Press.
Honolulu people say Il rains nine daya
. in tho week AZ Hilo. agd thirteen months
Y In the year. and once IN q great while "a
7 rains into the bunghole Of barrel faster
than it can aow out Al both ends.
Rather remarkable. amt Il. sirg But
ave you ever noticed AZ mostly All the
places on this line begins with a II p
Aw, beg your pardon Look az cm ?
| 'Ampstead. 'lghgste. 'Aekney. 'Omsrtou.
.Endon. Arrow. olloway. aud 'ofntey'-
7 [Puneh.
They have a diaagreeablo way In Canon
City. Colorado. when . mzu takes a brok.
en- chair 10 the cabinstshop. Of saying
"Hit you with n chair. did hheY' This
is very trying 70 the average citifen.
/ p. r. shillaber. Mrs. Pariinrion. IL
Y y. has white hair lie j. IN California
I for his health lie says be studied the
character Of Ike from hts own 900.
Tlne oil wom-man - means stiil
jolly.
The singular rivalry which has rpruu =
Up has induced Danbury lady 90 men
tion thit her dress has not cost her four
dollars per annum for the past three
years She lives with brotherin-lAw -
tDanbury News
Parish Clerks wife Let you into the
church 20 draw a interior9 / dutn't 10
DO Ia. miss There was . party there last
Year. and do you know they leit 'orrid
Dissrntin trac ia tho rectora pew Ever
since that its against order. II Punch.
Visitor-Can ! see D.. Joncsl Ser
yant--No. Sir. he's not 20 home. or
Visitor-Could I see his.er deputy Ser
yant-Plcasc. SIR. you Il better wait til
master comes home. as / don't know
where 10 b. and he don't like bis thing
msddlsd With.
When a woman peflofatos her bare
foot with a crooked pin scattered on chs
carpet. it should be regarded ns . just
rrtrihution but re cannot conscirn
tiously recommend any man 90 tcll bet
90 about the time ahn IL pulling 10 out -
. Htu ahnmutou Hauuhltanu