Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1876-07-29
About Ice-Cream.

softly, and when the girl asked him what nc
wanted, he replied
"Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles and
mince pie"
This is not restaurant this is an ice-
cream parlor," she said.
"Then why did you ask me what wanted
for? Why didn't you bring on your ice
cream ?"
She went after it, and as she returned, be
continued:
"Yon see, my dear girl. you must infer
you must reason. 1t isn't likely that would
come into an ice-cream parlor to buy a grind
stone. is il? You did not think came IN
here to ask you had any baled hay, did you 2
She looked at him in great surprise, and
he went on:
"IfI owned hardware store, and you
came in. | would infer that you came Tor
something in my line. ! wouldn't step ont
and ask you If you wanted to buya mule
would ?"
She went away highly Indignant. An old
woman was devouring dish Of cream at the
next table, and the stranger, after watching
her for a moment, called out;
My dear woman, have You found any
hairs or buttons in your dish 2
"Mercy no !" she exclaimed, as she wheel
ed around and dropped her spoon.
"Weu, I'm glad of it," he continued. "lf
you find any just let me know.
She looked at him for half minute, picked
up the spoon, laid i, down again, and then
rose up aud left the room. She must have
said something to the proprietor, for he came
running in aud exclaimed:
did you tell that woman there were hairs
and buttons in my ice-cream ?"
"No sir"
"You diln't?"
"No sir, did not merely requested ber,
in case she found any such ingredients, to in
form me-"
"Well, cir, that wasa mean trick"
"My dear sir" said the stranger, smiling
softly, "dld you expect me 10 ask the woman
if she had found a crow.bar or a sledge-ham-
mer in her cream 1t is impossible, sir for
such articles to be hidden away in such small
dishes"
The proprietor went away growing, and
as the stranger quietly supped away at his
cream two young ladies came in, sat down
near him aud ordered cream and cakes. He
waited until they had eaten little, aud then
he remarked:
beg pardon, ladies, but do You observe
anything peculiar iu the taste Of this cream ?"
They tasted, smacked their lips, and were
not certain.
docs it taste to You as If plug Of tobacco
had fallen into the freezer ?" he asked.
"Ahl kab 1" they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons aud trying to spit out what they
had eaten. Both rushed out and it wasn't
long before the proprietor rushed in.
See here what in blazes are you talking
about? ?" he demanded. "What do you mean
by plug tobacco in the freezer?"
"My kind friend, asked the ladies if this
cream tasted Of plug tobacco; don't taste
any such taste, and don't believe you used
BIT Of tobacco in IT,"
We'll, you don't want 10 talk that way
around here " continued the proprietor
MY icc-cream is pure, aud the man who says
it isn't tells a bold lie"
lie went away again, and woman with
long neck and sad face sat down and said TO
the girl that she would take small dish Of
lemon ice.
It was brought, and she had taken about
two mouthius when the stranger inquired:
Excuse me, madam, but % you know
how this cream was made-have you an idea
that they grated turnip anl chal, with the
/ cream?'
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around and made for The door. Tie
stranger followed after, and by great good luck
his coat tails cleared the door an instant too
soon to be struck by a fye-pound box Of figs.
hurled with great force by the indignant
proprietor. As he reached the curbstone he
halted, looked at the door Of the parlor and
soliloquized
"There are times when people should infer,
and there are times when they shouldn't.
suppose if had asked that woman II sbe
thought they hashed up saw-miil 10 the
cream she'd have felt circular saw going
down her throat"