National Republican., 1876-12-18
AatiauaI @epnbIifaa
CURIOSITY SHOP.
Pull down your ulster.

4 Whisky will unlocka q mans tongue.
Even false set of teeth may have 8
| silver lining.
Drilling pants properly form part OF
~, 1Dtease has reduced the Modoc tribe
There are 100 different religious de-
nominations in the United States.
Fourteen members of the Cincinnati
/ board of education wear paper collars.
| "A recent divorce eruption at CIncin-
/ natl was termed an sunhitshing bee.n
What is that which flies high, flies
| low, has no feet, yet wears shoes2 Dust.
Plenty of game in the markets-but ut
| the restaurant folks still keep The prices up.
Farmers never wait idly for something
to turn up They just take plOw and force bust
The hand organ man who would not
move on for nickel refused to sacrifice sound for
The Vermont gold mines have sus-
pended operations on account of nuggst-ory re-
For very cold weather freeze over
coat is advisable; for more moderate a melton
one is suitable.
Humboldt county, Cal, gave one vote
for Peter Cooper. Somebody HumDOldted the
Motto for the dealer in Philadelphia
butter at dollar per pound: "One good churn
I'm Brazil diamonds are found on
mountains 800 feet above the sea. This is what
makes them so high.
The exports of Boston last week were
or three times as large as those during
the same week last year. -.-I-- =
Says German. proud of his linguistic
attainments: "Dou zeext' mine tear, zbeag owl
the lanquaehes off Eurob."
IF your teeth are pretty, show them.
HmfI0 l0rT1a ~
at you when you do not know it.
Only thirty six snow storms are pre-
dieted for this winter but it isn't stated whether
this Is counting ministerially or judicially.
For IS and costs you can keep an ICY
sidewalk, and have all the fun of seeing the
ground and lofty tumbling of the passers. -
Medical men say that when a man is
fuii OF whisky he can't freeze, and appearances
indicate that number Of our citizens are expect
ing mighty cold snap.
"A Nevada girl has discarded her lover
ing the cruefwords: 'Ketch me q marryini man
who can't stand drink of whisky" =
-Norristown, Pa, is the banner town
Bppndled daednRps aad y 9f 5 people ate
one man going as high as twenty four.
If you care to know what became of
the campaign cape you fnust examine the color
The torch has gone for q chandelier in the hired
girls room. - = :
If You purchase piano that did not
take the 'hrst grand prize and highest awardr at
money. But you won't be able to buy suoh .
piano in this country.
kissing is said to be the quickest ex-
change of questions and answers Of two lovers
eaten with scarlet spoons, and sweetmest wbiob,
doesn't satisfy hunger.
Now is the time for the timid Young
man to 70 courting. Lots to talk about. Says
sDid you go to the Centennial?n Here Is the nu,
cleus for a two hours confab. 80.
DIR. Mary Walker says she ''despises
the jokers Of the press In this the Doctor has
TapscaonS for Ibs beginning Of courss u sue gss ihs
the foul fiend Of the Detroit Ffee Press = -
The new hotel built on the site of the
burned Metropolitan hotel at Long Branch is
with q rear extension s1x4O. There are 100 bed.
chambers, and accommodations for 200 guests
THE paragraphist of the future will
write such items as this: "a strong wind came
crematory jar yesterday forenoon, and her hus-
bands urnings were swept away In a twinkling.
"A large number of the misses at the
South End belong: to secret society, the distin-
right shoe.-Boston Globe. Agriculturally speak
ing, the tassel indicates the character Of the
In China agriculture is considered the
adegree is the worship Of this art carried that
the annual fete day of agriculture is attended by
the Emperor in person, who on this day hupbly
A poet asks: "Oh, why do we sigh
when the heart is fall Of the joy of the balmy
May?" Because,ye don't. 1t Is when the pocket
book boo i empty that We sigh the most. And heart
the same organ full of balrny MAY.
Tucker Blake says there is q discrep-
ancy between history and q circus, because his
blocks Of wood. without any chairs Tore-um, and
consequently they could not get up a Roman
chair by throwing the furniture.
"A young lady asks the editor of one of
young girl who is engaged to irt with other gen.
tlemen, provided her lover lives at q distanceS'
A young lady should not become engaged to hIrt
with other gentlemen, !" lover or no lover
"A Biblical scholar in GERMANY has
been doing some pretty close figuring to deter
mine the dates Of events described In the Old
Testament, and announces as one result the dis
covery that Noah issued from the Ark on Sep
tember II, 344o, at O'Clock in the evening.
AT musical entertainment in
Arkansas recently young man who made fun of
the prima donna's singing was. unceremoniously
be came to, that that kind of a concert pitch was
altogether too high, according to his notions.
The maternal offices of Rev. Mrs.
Phebe Hanaford are Of a more extended nature
ordained her son to the Universalist ministry,
and lately the reverend mother has had the salts,
faction of administering the marriage rite to her
daughter.
Rev. Edward Beecher says that men
will yet live to the age CT thousand years; so
We shall probably see the end of the present Pres
dental contsst me- after az ana Tnen man lives
the first second and third Centennial exhibitions
He can go to the other six or seven, you know.
Tucker Blake was one day with q
friend, when he observed poor dog that had
haa living aad
gazed at the poor animal, and at last said: Here
Is another shipwreck." "Shipwreek! Wheref"
''why, there's bark that's lost forever" His
companion growled and passed on in . logged
way.
This is the time of year when the
young man with bundle Of mixed candies sits
heart, while she stands a'primpingn before the
looking glass in her comfortable chamber for
three quarters Of an hour utterly obiyious Of the
rich colorng that the frost fend is putting on her
Willis's nose.
M GARNER, the architect, says that a
theatre should look gayer than other buildings,
s.just q woman at ball should have more
SIT ever" he adds 81 should build Q penitsn-
tiary, assure you I would make facade 50 dis
NAL that 1t should be less sad to be in the build
ing than to look ct the outside of It."
"A remarkable musical organization is
that of the convict choir at Auburn prison. The
organist is sentenced for grand larceny; the first
1fs % senOd 1o Ss Gsss ans aTe AM u
all burglars, and the professor is . forger: From
the latter false notes sometimes issue, while the
murderers murder music most ereditably. -ge
After seeing two doctors hang around
over man for four hours, and use a gallon Of
mixed ehloroform and ether trying to get him to
sleep that they may saw his leg of, It grows moro
and more mystery to us how robber can come
in and slap little two-by- -four sponge saturated
with chloroform over q clerks nose and steal
whole bank slick and clean in less than seven
minutes.
There is very deaf old darkey down
in South Washington, and he came pretty near
getting run over by an engine on the railroad
track the other day. '.I'll tell yo' what" said
young black fellow, who had been describing it
to a eolored friend, Hdat was loud call TO- old
Pete.n stYaas," broke In the other, "purty loud
call but dat old niggah's done gitttn so dres'fuI
deaf he can't hear nufhni''
Shakespeare was pretty good writer.
but when he speaks of the whining school boy
with shining face, creeping like snail unwin-
ingly to school, few Of the public school children
will recognize the grandeur OF the custom Of lick-
ing boy for playing hockey, and subsequently,
washing his face with hard soap to remove the
traces oftears although 1t reaches down from the
golden period of English literature.
The word 'spanic" has been in eSsrv-
a, 4ba of f,uu Ao-