The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-02-03
A PhIlanthrOpist's Experiments with
the Heather Chinee.


The Rev. DR.. Hawkshaw, practical
philanthropist, has been prosecuting
some interesting psychological expert
ments in San Francisco with view to
determine the mental and moral status
of the Chinese character. In order TO
make this test thorough and impartial
he has during the last few months had
five of the Chinese nOminally employed,
although his real object in maintaining
them was that he might study their pc
culiarities. He has reached the conclu-
sion that the moral deficiencies of these
people arise mainly from their lack OF
education and their constitutional and
mental peculiarities. He has been IN
the habit of daily lecturing these pupils,
through an interpreter, on the simple
elements of moral principles at the same
time testing their appreciation OF ms
teachings. We. will let a San Francisco
paper relate what success has attended
these systematic efforts to reclaim the
reverend gentleman's heather proteges:
"His pupils first consisted of four boys
and one girl of twelve years. The pre-
liminary experiment was intrusting his
oldest boy (who came to him with
character) with SO piece with which
to do some marketing. The experiment
was successful, and neither basket
nor boy have since been seen.
The Doctor experimental to the
extent of two complete sets of heather,
the sacrifice being one gold watch,
seal ring, eight teaspoons, one feather
bed and his best pair of pants,
not to mention one barrel of best
sugar and other groceries. At the
end of the third month, having only one
boy left out of ten, and him INFESTED,
he concluded that for innate inquisitive-
ness the Chinese have no equal, and
that absolute proof to the contrary, if
practicable, would require an impracti-
cable expenditure. He resupplied his
wasted ranks with good boys from the
best Chinese families, and has since, by
adopting the principles on which the
Lolita fountain is run, managed to keep
enough cups, chairs and cold water in
the house to supply his frugal wants
and those of his household, although
his front gate has long since disappear
ed and the gas company have a bill
against him for forty-seven feet of gas
pipe and two gas meters, and his landlord
has compelled him to pay for window
shutters, marble mantels and back
doors. He thinks that, with all that, his
heaven is slowly working" The Doe
tor describes some of his efforts to ham,
mer into his pupils little of the Amer
lean sense of the ridiculous or humOr-
Gus. John does not know a joke from
clothes basket, and his smile is as sense
less as that of a Cheshire cat-a simple
outdrop of satisfaction and good
nature. The Doctor retailed to his oldest
pupil, day after day, the most ridiculous
anecdOtes-the Munchausen tales and
the hke-without the least effect. When
John was told that the baron one night
hitched his horse to thetop of a steeple,
in consequence of the depth of the snow,
and in the morning, after thawy night,
discovered him dangling by the bride
from the steeple high in the air, John
merely remarked, Heap snow" and
went about his work reflectively. A
pie stuffed with cotton was set before
him for his dinner. He seemed simply
to regard it as a peculiar dish of the
Americans, and ate every crumb of the
crust, leaving the cotton very neatly
spread out on the plate. The queues of
pair of heather were tied together,
which resulted, when they attempted to
90 in opposite directions, in nearly
tearing their scalps Off SO far from
manifesting any appreciation of the
joke they fell upon one another like Xii
kenny cats, smashed a pier glass, a
handicapped center table, and greatly
alarmed the Doctors family. The
Doctor, however, is still persevering in
his efforts to analyze the Chinese char
acter, with a view to test the possibility
of making an American citizen out of
him in the ultimate future. If he shall
succeed viii he not spoil him as a China
man? is a still graver question.