The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-11-10
THE PUTTING UP O. THE STOVE;
Or. 1.-THE Rhine OF the Economical
Householder.

The melancholy days that come that no
householder loves,
Days OF the taking down Of blinds and put
ting up Of stoves,
The lengths Of pipe forgotten lie in the
shadow Of the shed,
Dinged out OF symmetry they be and all
with rust are red;
The husband gropes amid the mass that
he placed there anon,
And swearS TO ind all elbow-joint and exc
aleg are gone.
so Jared 1t with good Mister Brown, to
whom his spouse: Behold,
Unless you wish US all TO go and catch our
deaths Of cold,
Swift be Won stove and pipes fl ON out
their storing place conveyed
And to black lead and set them up, 10, l
will lend my aid"
This Mister Brown he trembling heard-I
trow his heart was sore
For he was married many years and had
been there before,
And timidly he said: any love, perchance
the better plan
rrwere to HE to the tinsmith's s. shop and
bid him send a man?"
To whom his spouse Indignantly: $50
you would have me then
To waste our substance upon riotous tin
smiths journeymen?
\ penny saved is twopence earned rash
prodigal OF pelf:
Go, false one, go, and 1 will black and set
1t up myself.
When thus she spoke the husband knew
that she had sealed his doom:
Fiji high the b, wi with Samian lead and
gimme down that BROOM"
He cried: then to the clubhouse marched,
Apart the doors he hove
And closed in deadly conflict with his
enemy, the stove.
Round l.-They faced each other; Brown
TO get an opening spared
Adroitly. His antagonist was cautious on
Brown led Off with his left to where a
length ofstovepipe stood
And nearly cut his fingers off. (1he store
dilo,0ed First Blood.
Round Thrown came up swering and In
Greco, Roman Style
Closed with the stove, and tugged and
strove at IL a weary while:
At asst the leg he held gave way; fiat on
his back fell Brown,
And the stove tell ON top of him claimed
the First hnOckdotcn.
The fight is done and Brown has
won; his hands are rasped and sore,
And perspiration and black-lead stream
from his every pore;
Sternly triumphant. as he gives his pris-
oner q shove,
He cries, Where in the angel name shall
put this blessed stove?
And calmly Mrs. Brown to him she inui-
Gates the spot,
And bids him Keep his temper and re-
marks that he looks hot.
Andnow comes in the sweet o the day;
the Brown holds in his grippe
And strives to tit six-inch Joint into
tive-inch pipe;
He hammers, dinges, bends ana snakes,
while his wife scornfully
Tells him how she would manage If only
she were he,
tlast the joints are Joined, they rear
A tub upon the table, and upon the tub
chair,
And on the chair, supporters are the stove
pipe and the Brown,
Like the lion and the unicorn, hghting
for the crown;
While Mistress Brown she cheerfuly said
to him, al expec'
'Twould be Just like your clumsineSs to TALL
and break your neck
fore she was aware
OF what might be called miscellaneous
music In the air,
And in wild crash and confusion upon the
floor rained down
Chairs, tables, tubs and stoyeplpes, anath-
emas and Brown.
There WAS moments silence Brown
had fallen on the cat;
She was too thick now for oook-marK
but TO thin for mat,
And he was all wounds ana bruises from
his head unto his foot,
And seven breaths of Brussels were ruined
with SCOT.
40 welded love, how beautiful, how,
sweet a thing thou art"
Tn from her chair did Mistress Brown, as
she saw him falling, start,
And shrieked aloud as sickening rear
did her Utmost heartstrings grippe,
"Josiah Winterbotham Brown, you have
gone and smashed that ptpe?
Then ND and stert he Mister Brown, as one
that had been wode go
And big his bosom swelled Win Wralh
and red his visage glowed;
Wild rolled his eye as he made reply
tand his voice was sharp and shrilD,
81 have not, madam, but, by-by-by the
Nine Gods, will"
He swung the pipe above his head, he
dashed II on the floor,
And that stove-pipe, as a Stove-pipe, IL
did exist no more;
Then he strobe up TO his shrinking vile,
and his face was stern and wan,
As In a hoarse, changed voice he Kissed: