The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1876-09-01
MIR. Smiths bereavement.


there are two sides to the SILVER ques-
ton. T.. w.
MIR. Smiths Bereavement.
From the Philadelphia Bulletin.
He was tall and slender, and clad
in the habiliments of woe. He en-
tered the Office, aud took q chair.
Removing his hat, he wiped the
moisture from his eyes, rubbed his
nose thoughtfully for a moment,
put his handkerchief in his hat, his
hat upon the floor, and said:
"YOu didn't know Mrs. Smith P"
81 hadn't that pleasure. Who
was she ?"
''She was my wife. She has been
sick some time. But day before
yesterday she was took worse, and
she KEEP on sinking until evening,
when she gave q kinder sudden
Jump a couple of times, and then
her spirit fiickered. Dead, you
know. Passed away into another
world"
"Pm very sorry"
$50 am 1. And 1 called around
to see if couldn't get some of you
literary people to saw out some
kind of poem, describing her Pc
culiarities, so that l can advertise
her in the paper"
81 dunno; may be we might"
ooh, you didn't know her, you
say? Well, she was a singular kind
er woman. Had strong character
istics. Her nose was the crooked
est in the State; all bent round
sideways. Old Capt. Binder used
to say that it looked like the iib-
sail of an oyster sloop on the wind
ward tack. Only his fun, you know.
But Helen never minded it. She
said herself that it aimed so much
around the corner that whenever
she sneezed she blew down her
back hair. There were rich depths
of humor in that womanl Now [
don't mind if yon work into the
poem some picturesque allusion to
the condition of her nose, so her
friends will recognize her. And
you might also spend a verse or
two on her lame eye."
"What was the matter with her
eyer"
Gone, sir; goneI Knocked out
with chip while she was a split
ting kin'Iing wood, when she was
child. She fixed it up somehow
with a glass one, and it gave her the
oldest expression you ever saw.
The false one would stand perfectly
still while the other one was rolling
around, so that bout half the time
you couldn't tell whether she was
or MI AL,
the hired girl pare potatoes. And
she lay there at night, with the in
disposed eye wide open, glaring st
me, while the other was tight shut,
so that sometimes I'd get the hor-
rors and kick her and shake her to
make her get up and fix 1t. Once l
got some mucilage and glued the
lid down myself, but she didn't
like it, when she woke in the morn
ing. Had to soak her eye in warm
water, you know, TO get it open.
Now. reckon you could run in
some language about her eccentric
tiles of vision, couldn't you ? Don't
care what it is, SO that have the
main facts"
"Was she peculiar in other res
poets ?"
"Well, yes. One leg was gone;
run over by a wagon when she was
little. But she wore q patent leg
that did her pretty well. Bothered
her sometimes. but most generally
gave her a good deal of comfort.
She was fond of machinery. And
then, you know, she could take it off
at night aud stand it on the hat-rack
in the entry, and go to bed with
only one cold foot. She was very
grateful for her privileges. AL
though it sometimes worried her,
too. The springs d work wrong
now and then and may be in
church her leg ID give a squirt and
begin to kick and hammer away at
the board in front of the pew. I'M
til it sounded like a boiler factory.
Then I'd carry her out, and most
likely it'd kick at me all the way
down the aisle, and end up by
dancing her around the Vestioule,
until the sexton would rebuke her
for dancing in church. Seems to
me there's material for poetry In
that, isn't there? She was q self
willed woman. Often when she
wanted to go to a sewing-bee, or to
CAD about somewhere may be I'd
stuff the leg up the chimney, or
hide it in the wood-pile. Aud l
then wouldn't tell her where it was,
do you know what she'd do?
"What5"
"Why, she'd lash an umbrella to
her stump and drift off down the
street s if that umbrella was born
there! you couldn't get ahead of
herI She was ingeniousl I've
known her when the baby was
playing with the potato-masher to
unbuckle that leg and use it for
MASKING. Take it by the knee and
work the joint backward and for
ward splendIdly."
$50 / thought I'd mention a few
facts to you, aud you can just throw
them together and make them
rhyme, and I'll call round and paw
you for them. What day? Tues
day? Very well, I'll run in on Tues
day and see how you've fixed her up
Then Mr.. Smith smoothed up his
hat with his handkerchief, wiped
the accumulated sorrow from his
eyes, placed his hat upon his head.
and sailed serenely ont and down
the stairs toward his desolated
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