Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-08-30
Nasty.
Mr.. Nasty Waits for the Letters of TiIden
and Hendricks-He Becomes a Burden ia
Bnscom-His Financial Instructions,

Mr.. Nasty Waits for the Letters of TiIder
| and Hendricks-He Becomes a Burden e
Bnscom-His Financial distractions.
From the Toledo Blade.
CoNFEDRIT ROADS,
W1CH Is IN THE STATE Nv KENTUCKY
Ill .+ August T. 1875.
There wuz wunst doctor wich he'd q
bark wlch would either physic or puke,
accordia ez he stripped off the tree mp
or down.
Like to this doctor is Tilden and Hen
dirk. Reed their letters up and they
are hard money physic-reed EN- down
md they are soft money vomick.
The day got back from the st. Loois
Convenshun I commenst preparin for a
stumpin toor for our gallant standard
bearers. I borrowed an extra shirt, SO
tnat l GOOD hev one; I borrowed va
i1se to carry it IN when wuzn't speak
IN, and also to give me standin ez the
committee didn't become responsible
tor my board, and Bascom completed
my travelin outfit by contributing a
quart bottle Nv the newest, to be kerried
in the velise to be yoosed when IN To-
kalltles where the nessar;es Nv life wuz
hard to come at.
LIZ coOdent go out insJructing NV
the people till knowd wat my candi-
dates believed in, I decided to wait till
l got their letters Nv acceptance. Did
that llkker stay in the valise? Not any.
1t wuz all gone the fust day, and went
to Bascom with the empty bottle the
next mornin.
tFill it up, q. W., ," sed I. ST can t
go till hev seen them letters
When will they come 2" askt he.
To-day or tomorrow" sed I.
Zoo shood hev kept wat you he'd till
the letters COME" sed he.
Bascom, wuz the response, "liker
like yoors cannot be kept"
And then seem trouble ahead, I con-
tinyood:
Promise me that 700 will keep this
bottle filled till them letters come. It
will be but little while; and remember,
Bascom, 700 got the $500 that Tilden,
the Reformer, paid for my vote at st.
Loois."
81 promise he groaned.
"And likewise, until hev read EN-
and understood EN-, so that shell not
go out and spout false Dimocrisy."
L promise he groaned again.
Day after day passed but no letters
came. But promptly every mornin I
which he groaningly filled. On the
thirtieth day he refoosed pint blank"
"G. W." sed /, sternly, remember
yoor promise. I may be called any
mint. 1t wuz the foolish virgins wat
he'd no lie in their lar'ps. 1 am no
foolish virgin. Fill up the lamp for I
may be called to -nite.' 'ar
And he filed it, becoz he had prom
ised.
But every mornin he would lift up
his voice ez I come in, and howl,
" Grashus heavens amt them letters
never comm to relieve me Nv this in
cubus?"
At last one mornin the letters come,
in the Louisville papers, and Bascom
come over to me happy, ez though a
great wait had bin lifted off him.
81 fill the bottle for the last time,"
sed he gally, "for 10 here be the let
ters."
took the papers and red the letters,
and the next mornin wuz promptly at
hiz bar with the bottle.
"Fill it |! - I remarkt calmly.
Not any, sed he. "You hev the
letters
George Washington b." replied,
"yoor promise wuz to keep this bottle
filled not only till Ihed red the letters,
BUT TILL I UNDERSTOOD EN-. I hev bin
applyin my intellek to EN- for ten hours,
and eff I know from them letters wheth-
er to talk hard money or soft, immejit
resumpshen Or perpetooal postpone
m \ l hope never to be Postmaster. y :"
Wat did that perfjus wretch do? He
telegraphed that very day to both Tiden
and Hendrix, ex follers:
Shell Nasty, on the stump, advocate hard
money Or soft? Anser to wEnst. Important,
to save an innocent Dimocrat from room.
An the ansers come prompt:
FROM TILDEN.
Hard money, NV course, but soften it good
deal in the West. Strike boldly, however, for
reform, and agin the corrupshen OF the Repub-
likin party. TLDEN.
FROM HENDRIX.
Soft money Nv course, but harden it good
deal in the East. Strike boldly, however, for
reform, and agiD tho corrupshen Nv the Repub-
Ikin party. e HENDRIX.
And so, hevin my instrukshens, I hed
to 60. I shell, however before speek,
get instruckshens from John Morrissey
and Fernandy Wood, ez to the best
methods Nv bringin about reform, and
Nv fghtin corrupshen in governmental
matters. PETROLEUM Y. Massey,
(Which wants to be Postmaster.)
The Last Bottle,
The Brussels Echo Musical tells the
Eolloxxx;,c. cE N.ahola- Io-o,al