Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1876-05-18
Humorous.


Grant.
The wealthiest Chinaman in San
Francisco is a doctor.
Roscoe Conkling and Horatio Sey-
mour are brothers-in-law.
There are 1,506 Japanese in Paris,
many more than there are French
men in Japan.
There is firm in Boston named
Gray & Lunt. Half of their letters
come to them addressed Lay &
Grunt.
There are 62,552 churches in the
United States, with sittings for H.
395, 542 people; we forget the exact
number of backsliders.
When man to whom you lend
money says he will be indebted to
you forever, you may believe him,
my boy.
If you would be know and not
known, vegetate in a village; il you
would know and not be known, live
in city.
When young man cannot live on
his own salary, the usual way is for
him to live on the salary Of some one
else.
An exchange speaks Of a woman so
cross-eyed that when she weeps
tears from her left eye they drop on
her right cheek.
When Ioafer enters the sanctum
OF busy editor and the editor says,
Glad to see you're back" what does
he mean.
There's lots of men in this world
that are like a rooster-take cockade
and spurs off from them and you
couldn't hardly tell them from hen.
The San Antonio Herald disap-
proves Of closing the saloons at
night; it's so convenient, it says, to
know where to go to look for a po-
liceman.
When Mark Anthony threw himself
upon the "dear remains" OF his loved
Caesar in a Pittsburgh theater the
other evening, he struck the corpse"
fair in the stomach, which had the
effect Of doubling it up with grunt.
that rather detracted from the SOL
emnity OF the occasion.
Mr.. John Lemoine, the distin-
guished French journalist, thinks
that the title of Empress conferred
upon Queen Victoria will prove the
first step toward an English Re-
public.
What" asks the New York Mail
in pathetic way, becomes of old
schoolmasters and schoolmistresses?
Perhaps they become past partici-
pies, or retire into the dust to look
for roots.
1t is reported by the Boston Trdn-
script that Judge Hoar recently said
that he would jump out of a two
story window to elect Blaine, and out
of "a three-story window to elect
Col. Bristow.
Lager beer that is not particularly
good is retailed to thirsty customers
on the Centennial grounds at ten
cents . glass. Some OF the restau-
rants sell beer i'm bottles only, at
twenty cents the bottle.
The Queen Of Madagascar has a
heart that beats in unison with the
hearts of those Ohio ladies who went
forth "crusading" last year. The
Madagascar tax on spurious liquors
is paid in kind, and when the annual
collection is made the Queen orders
the tax to be poured into the ocean.
At Paris, workingman, Habay, a
horny handed shoemaker, entered
the canvass. He was running very
well, and was supported by some Of
the prominent papers. Finally it
was discovered that he owned q
house worth $4,000 francs, and the
workingmen threw him overheard.
One Worcester, Mass. man is
going to sue another for the posses
sion of house which was built and
owned by the former. but was moved
by the flood upon the ground OF the
latter The owner of the land in
forms his neighbor that the house
must stay where it is, being put
there by an overruling Providence.
A proposition has been submitted
to Congress to have storm flags
carried by locomotives Of passenger
trains, and announced by three
whistles every five miles. 1t is as
sumed that this warning would en-
able farmers to save hay and grain
which otherwise would be injured by
the rain to the amount of several
millions of dollars a year.