davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

step, and mixture of butter, butter
milk and mud just beyond the lower
step. Brown needed not the catOstrO-
phe, but swung the banner of inspira-
ton above his head, spasmodically
circulating, az George! the greatest
man in the party! President, sure's
a gun! 'rah!"
His boyish enthusiasm was soon
changed to dismay as he beheld the
ruin occasioned by his youthful preco-
ciousness.
"What will Mrs. Brown say Thun-
der and lightning-the churn in pieces
-Durn that paper! it brought all this
this devlish luck about"
Mrs. B. happened, just at that i'm
Fortunate moment, to put in an ap-
pearance. She took in the situation
at a glance. Her disappointment may
well be imagined. Butter lost, churn
broken, butter-milk wasted and CON-
pany for dinner-too bad, too bad.
Her face frightened, there was fire
in her eye, and quick as thought her
hands were in the heterogeneous mass,
and equally quick there was an oily
application to Browns physiognomy.
Misfortunes never come singly. Zach
thought so on the present occasion, as
Mrs. B., taking up the largest piece Of
the broken churn, applied it with Pc
culiar directness to that division of his
body which Gen. Pope called his head
quarters during the late unpleasant
ness" lack hurried out of harms
way, and with most woe-begone ex-
preston of countenancc, said, apologet-
ically. "See here, ole oman, how in
thunder could fellow help 'naccident?'
Zach Brown" Numbered the mad.
dened female, "where'll we get butter
for dinner, tell me that"
"Damphino," said Zach, "'rah fol
" HAHN Heeler!"
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

of the British sceptre and to retain I'M
der her rule the gOOdly land of Ameri-
ca. That. is the reason the people we're
taxed SO unjustly. Unjustly, we say,
because they were taxed without their
consent, taxed without representation,
and forced to pay the same as if they
were slaves, and slaves they were UNI
til, by general uprising, they threw
off the yoke Of British tyranny, and
declared themselves free.
Reference was also made to the Eng
fish heroesCO spilled their blood in de-
tense of the colonies, Wolfe, the i'm
mortal Braddock, and others too nu-
merous to mention in present space.
Mention is made in history of Brad
docks being sent with force of Vir-
ginians to repel the advancing lords
of French and Indians, and he being
totally unacquainted with the modes
of Indian warfare, upon being advised
by young Virginian who had been
brought up side by side with the treach-
erous aborigines of America, to be
more cautious in his marches, ordered
him to silence and in disgrace to the
rear, for daring to offer counsel to the
lordly Briton. But for his ignoring of
the counsel of the then humble young
officer he might have won new laurels
for himself in the vanquishment Of
his enemies. but instead, beneath the
barbed arrows of the unerring savage
bow, he that day biz the dust.
JUSTICE.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

hfIH
1fyou drop a few drops of strong
tea upon a piece Of iron, knife blade
for instance, the tannate of iron is
formed, which is black. If you mix
with iron filings or pulyerized iron,
you can make a fair article of ink.
If you mix it with fresh human blood
it forms with the iron of the blood,
the tannate Of iron. Take human
skin and let it soak for time in strong
tea, and it will become leather. Now
when We remember that the liquids
which enter the stomach are rapidly
absorbed by the veins and absorbents
of the stomach, and enter into circu-
lation and thrown out of the system
by the skin, respiration and kidneys,
it is probable that drink so common
as tea and so abundantly used will
have some effect. Can it be possible
that tannOn, introduced with so much
liquOr-producing perspiration, will
have no effect upon the skin? Look
at the tea-drinkers in Russia, the Chi.
nese, and the old women of America,
who have SO long continued the habit
of drinking strong tea. Are they moi
dark colored and leather-skinned
When young they were fair complex.
toned.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
A Roy. Opinion or Hens.

"Hens is curious animals. They don't
have no nose, nor no teeth, nor no
ears. They swaller their whites whole,
and chaw it up in their crops inside
of 'em. The outside of hens is gener-
ally put into pillows and made inter
feather busters. The inside Of hen
is sometimes filed up with marbles,
and shirt-buttons. and SIGH. A hen
is very much smaller than a good
many other animals, but they'll dig
up more tOmatO-plants than anything
that amt a hen. Hens is very useful
to lay eggs for plum-pudding. Bet
yer life l like plum-pudding. Skinny
Bates eat so much plum-pudding on o
that it sent him inter the eOllery.
Hens has got wings and can Fly when
they are scarf. / cut my uncle VIII
liam's hens neck off with a Ratchet.
and it scared her to death. Hens
sometimes make very fine spring
chickens.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

After both the Republican and Dem.
ocratic nominations were made, Mr.,
Schurz pretended he could not make
up his mind which candidate to sup
port till he had seen Hayes letter Of
acceptance. Why in the name of the
independence which Mr.. Schurz pro-
fessed didn't he keep his mind unmade
up a little longer till he had seen Til
den's and Hendricks letters also2-
st. Louis Republican.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

A book agent who started out to
canvass for "The Tribulations of the
Martyrs" was kicked out of FIVE Off
ces the first day, and nearly scalded to
death by an irate woman whom he in
terrupted in her culinary duties. Now
he swears that the tribulations of the
martyrs amount to just nothing COM
pared to his own, and he wants his
own name added to the list when a
new edition of the book is printed
NOrristown Herald.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
The Worn-out Font Of Type.

I'm sitting by my desk, George;
Before me on the floor
There lies worn.out font of type,
Full twenty thousand score.
And many months have passed, George
Since they were bright and new,
And many are the tales they've told
The false. the strange, the true.
What tales of horror they have told,
OF tempest and Of wreck;
OF murder in the midnight hour.
OF war full many "a speck /
OF chips that lost away at sea
Went down before the blast,
OF stified cries OF agony
As life's last moments passed.
Of earthquakes and of suicides,
OF failing crops OF cotton,
OF bank defaulters, broken banks,
Aud banking systems rotton.
OF boilers bursting, steamboats, snagged,
OF riots, duels fought,
OF robbers with their prey,
OF thieves, their booty caught.
OF flood, and fire, and accident,
Those WORKOUT types have told,
Aud how the pestilence has swept
The youthful aud the old:
OF marriages, OF births and deaths,
Of.things to please or vex us,
OF one man jumping overheard.
Aother gone TO Texas.
The've told how sweet summer days
Have faded from our view,
How autumn's chilling winds have swept
The leaf-crowned forests throuh;
How winters snow hath come and gone
Dark reign Of storm and strife
And how the smiling spring hath warmed
The pale flowers back TO life
Ican't pretend to mention half
Ny inky friends have told,
Since shining bright and beautiful
They issued from the mould
How unto some they joy have brought
To others grief aud tears;
Yet faithfully the record kept
OF fast receding years
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
ADVERTISING RATES


Soon after dinner yesterday a very
pleasant-faced man having something
wrapped up in a paper under his arm,
called at Detroit hotel and requested
a few minutes conversation with the
landlord. When they were seated the
stranger began;
81 am an old landlord myself I
kept hotel in st. Louis twenty-five
years"
EYES" was the nOn-eommittal reply
of the landlord
"And, Of course, / know all about
the inconvenience of bookkeeping,
resumed the man. There were bugs
around the beds in my hotel, and there
are bugs around the beds in every
hotel, / suppose. Ofcourse, used to
lie to the guests, but the bugs were
there, and l knew it."
"What do you mean! demanded
the landlord growing red clear round
his neck.
"Just keep right STILL" replied the
man, "for now I'm coming down to
biz. This is the Summer season, isn't
it, and the only season when the bugs
bite In the winter season they are
dormant, and unless there's fire in
the room they don't get into their work
on the weary traveller. Well. the sum-
mer season is the season for the
mosquito also. All hotels and houses
have mosquitoes, and nothing IS
thouht of it. They seem to be q sort
Of necessity. Travellers will raise
howl over bugs, but they never even
grumble at anyone about mosquitoes"
"Sir! do you think I keep junk
shop" roared the landlord.
"NO, sir, 1 don't This is regular
hotel, and a very good one. As 1
was going to remark, have invented
and patented a machine operated by
a boy and crank, which you and all
other landlords want and will have.
1t is machine to initiate the hum
of mosquitoes. Its notes can be heard
all over each floor, and with a good
boy at the crank there can be no fail
|, ure. The traveller just DOING off to
sleep hears the hum. At the same
time bug works out from under the
cover. Then more huns and more
bugs. Actually, sir, without any "
ing or exaggerating, men will strike
and claw the air all night long to kill
imaginary mosquitoes, while the bed
, bugs go unmolested and grow fat.
The hum is perfect imitation, and
|, has even deceived Yale College prof
fessOrs. Without it, your guests will
blow around about bugs. With it,
no traveller will mention bugs at all,
but will rip and tear at the mOsqui-
toes.
"DO you mean to insult me%
, shouted the landlord,
"NO, sir"
"But you talk as if had bugs in
my house J"
"Pll tell you what I'll do, landlord.
|, I'll examine five beds, and If l don't
find bugs in at least three Of them.
I'll give you machine for nothing.
There would have been a nip and
e tuck fight if the great big porter
:, hadn't jumped in and hit the strsn-
d ger with an iron bOOtjack. The in
ventOr lived. however, and within
!. half an hour was seen bearing down
It for another hotel in full SAIL Detroit
. Free Press.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

JOSH Killings says: "Any business
firm that hasn't got sand enough in its
craw to expend few dollars in making
its business known to three or four
thousand people, ought to pack up and
go peddling peanuts"
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
For the HERALB.


Our friend Zach Brown i Radical
of the enthusiastic kind, he cfforveseS
for very slight causes; his wife, on the
other hand, takes no stock in the Rad
ical hank, but politics is not the only
rock upon which they split. Zach
finds it pretty hot ON occasions, which
to a man whose avoirdupOis foOts up to
within an ounce or two of two hundred,
is not very pleasant with the thermom-
eter at % degrees and rising.
His domestic troubles, though frc-
quent, are transient in their nature,
and his heroic attempts to break the
force of the peculiar circumstances by
which he is surrounded, by volunteer
ing to do the churnng after one of his
connubial squalls, are very commenda-
bic. Unfortunately for him, these
furries of industry and reform are
about as successful Us Radical attempts
at retrenchment and reform generally
are.
A day or two ago his enthusiasm
worked up to fever heat, but Zach new
er mounted his political stills without,
somehow, meeting an inglOrious fall,
not since he married So TO cool the
fire he had kindled, he essayed to play
the affectionate and model husband, by
offering TO help his wife do the morning
chores. Naturally his eyes turned to-
wards the churn, for what man is there
who is not ready to avOw that his abil
ity for making the butter come fiI
SURPRISES all Others?
Mrs. Brown nodded a short. quick,
nervous kind of nod-a nod which said
as plain as words, "Yes, and go about
it quick, or you'll have another storm
about your ears worse than the one
you've just had" Brown ignited hi.
pipe, took his Radical Bible (the Dali,
Commercially and sat down to his work
The churn was two-gallon crock, anc
Mrs. Brown expected splendid cak'
of rich, yellow butter as the result o.
the enterprise, her investment bein;
one and half gallons of good cream
Company was expected that day 70
dinner, and as the good dame, in he
imagination, saw the pleased counte
nance of her visitors at beholding tn
tempting pile IN the butter dish. he
smile was childlike and bland.
Zach Brown. like many a good maj
before him, miscalculated his nativ
ability. Smoking an old stone pipe
reading the Commercial and workin,
the churn dasher at one and the sam
time proved too much for him. 1t wa
the Commercial, though, which brough
on the climax. The editorial encom
ums of that delectable sheet upon tn
letter of acceptance from Cincinnati
new fiedged, modern Reformer wei
so sweetly modulated, so artisticall
sugar-cOated as to completely enthu:
the unfortunate Brown.
Forgetful of his surroundings-fo
getful of storms and thunder gusts
fOrgetful of everything except Radio.
panygerics-back went his head, h
pipe falling on the floor behind hin
out went his feet, and out, too, wei
the churn, rolling down three steps {
the ground and falling into three piece
There was deposit of butter on eac
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
AN editor is described as a man VIII

AN editor is described as a man who
is liable to grammatical blunders,
toothache, typographical errors, and
lapses of memory, and has twenty-five
thousand people watching to catch
him tripping man of sorrow and
acquainted with grief, poorly paid,
poorly estimated, yet envied BY some
of the great men he has made.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

THE newest collar is called the ''Safe-
ty." 1t is so named from the fact
that it is high enough for man who
wears one to crawl up behind it and
hide when his wife steps in at the
Office to inquire whether he mailed
her letters.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

A LONG BRANCH woman, or a wo-
man temporarily sojOurning at Long
Branch, wears the golden collar of her
terrier dog as a bracelet. She loved
that puppy.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
FROM LOUISIANA.

A gentleman from Shreveport, Cad
do Parish, Louisiana, called at the Ma
tionial Committee Rooms to-day.
some interesting statements were made
by him. Caddo parish has a popula-
ton of 10000 whites and $1,000
blacks. The Democratic majority in
1874 was sos; it was counted out by
the State Returning Board, upon GER
ti6cates of intimidation signed by ne
groes who could not read, in conside-
ration of the promises of s.. to be paid
at the Court House. The gentleman
is merchant doing a large business
with the negroes; he conceived the
plan, at that election, of furnishing
red Democratic tickets, of which 389
were found in the ballot boxes-thus
proving that impressions could be
made upon the negro vote. He or
ganized a club Of negroes pledged to
vote the Democratic ticket in spite Of
the threats made that, if they joined,
their hands and feet should be cut off.
A day or two before his departure
for the North the Republican COnven.
ton in his district broke up in fight,
in which two or three negroes were
killed; being killed by Republicans,
it did not constitute an Outrage.
He confirms previous assurance:
that the negro vote will be divided
at the coming election. The Freed
mans Bank had 10000 belonging t.
the colored people of his parish at it,
failure.
While he expects, beyond doubt
that his State will go Democratic BY
$1,000 majority, he as confidently ex
poets the State Returning Board t.
count it out.
The events of 1874, fortunately can
not be re-enacted in 1876 by Packard
nor the whole power of the Admins
tration. That day is forever past.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

APoTHECARIEs at the seaside resorts
are almost as bad as the hotel keepers,
for they cheat and swindle fearfully on
the stalest of drugs and cheapest of
medicines.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

The West Point cadet who sAos an :
amateur hackman is an object Of SYM
pathy. Hadhe only shot a book agent
he would have been promoted.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

FORTUNE is panied with closed eyes.
and there is possibly az unknown refer
ence to this fact in the popular saving
of trusting to luck and going it blind,
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
The vete I'm District Convention.

We give below, for the convenience
of those who take an interest in the
Congressional race, the vote to which
each county in this district is entitled
in the convention called to meet at
Sebree City, September Z tn:
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30
GRANT AND THE ARMY.

Grant is determined not to disap-
point general expectation. He was
but waiting for the removal of the
watchful eye of Congress before show
ing his hand in the business of the
campaign. He has taken the earliest
opportunity to wrest the Scott Lord
resolution from its intended and its on
ly legitimate construction, and to make
it the only lever b. which he can turn
the bayOnefs point onc'. more towards
the South. He finds in Don Came
ron a worthy successor to Belknap,
and one who will not give him any cause
to regret the change that has been
made in the head of the War Depart
ment. Gen. Sherman will now be in
readiness for action at a moments mo-
tice; but there is every reason to sup
pose that the move will not be so sue.
cessful as its originatOrs believe and
hope.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

making total of 149 votes in conven-
ton. From this it will be seen IS votes
will be required to nominated Hop
kinsville New Era.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1876-08-30

Samuel ]. Tilden before the people
in his true character. Mr.. Hewitt
has gained many friends for his mas
terly and generous effort, and his ex-
pOsure of the tactics of his opponents
has done great good to the cause of Re
form.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-04-20


ture of the supply bill. found it incor-
porated in the supply bill, and no one
eftener spoke to me or was more urgent in
his persuasions for the passage of that meas.
ure than the gentleman from Edgefeld. l
said to him and those interested that if those
items that now constitute the little bonanza
were distributed over term of two or three
wears, you will not find me any longer OPP
posed to it. Let US be rid Of this debt, fast
ened upon Us by the e1travagance of former
administrations. This is o complete answer
to the reckless charges of the gentleman
from Edgeield; that instead of fourteen
mill tax, we have tax of but eleven mills,
including both bonanzas, and there Is o di-
rect saving of $376, 600.
It is not the credit of the administration
it goes to the credit of the Republican party.
But il / were to confine myself to contingent
funds in this respect the charge Of the gen.
tlcman from Edgefeld is no less inaccurate.
have compiled statement of the contin-
gent funds Of the year preceding this admins
tration. find that the entire appropriation
for legislative expenses for the last fiscal year
was $l5O,0O and the appropriation for the
preceding year $3.50, 1000. There is differ
ence of $0, 900 in the single item OF Legislative
expenses. The annual average expenditures
between 1868 and 1870 had been no less than
1924 900, and the first year of this admins.
tration was less than $l50,000. There is not
only 1900 from the contingent fund, but
$3.50, 900 solid money saved in the single item
of legislative expenses.
Let us go upon the ground that the gentle
man from Edgeield has chosen. want to
take this doughty warrior on his own
ground. I want this McGregor put upon
his native heath. He says we have saved
the paltry sum of $4,000 from the contin-
gent fund. Now, the contingent funds for
the year preceding last year were al, 600 and
$32,0 600, or q total of $4,000. In the last
year of Governor Moses administration the
contingent funds were &c. 900, and last year
for all purposes the contingent fund was
$40, 200; making saving Of SOL, ego Of the
contingent fund in the first year of this ad-
suffer me to appeal from those courts in
which love to practice. I wish this scene
Of political turmoil could be banished for
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-04-20
THURSDAY MORNING, april 20, 1875
TIE STATE PRESS ASSOCIATION.

The secoad annual meeting of the
South Carolina State Press Association
will be held in Spartanburg on Wednes-
day, May 10th, 1876, at 10 o'clock a. m.
An address upon the subject of journal
ism will be delivered on Wednesday
evening by Capt. F. w. Dawson, of tho
Charleston News and Courier, who han
been selected as the anniversary orator.
Members are requested to be punctual In
attendance, and Journalists who are not
members are invited TO send in their
applications.
JAMES A. HOYr, President.
A. A. GILBERT, Recording Secretary.
*.* Newspapers interested in the As
sociation will please copy.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-04-20

and the cotton, grass or whatevef they
came in contact with Was stained as With
blood. The pieces We're scattered several
feet apart, Over spaes some twenty or
ti,itW Feet In width.
. One Of the most important lessons it is
the duty of the Democratic Club to en-.
force during the coming campaign will
be that the colored voter who chooses to
cut loose from his political masters shall
be protected in the enjoyment of this
undoubted right. The intimidation prac-
ticed by the Radicals in every portion Of
the Southern States has been strong
weapon in their hands to retain control
over the colored psople. The time is
rapidly approaching in South Carolina
when timely measures Of fairness and
conciliation will segregate the colored
vote, and unite portion Of the negroes
with their white neighbon in an effort to
throw off every incubus upon the peace,
prosperity and happiness of the State.
An instance occurred in Sumter the other
day, which points unerringly to the spec
dy realization of these hopes. An open
air meeting and barbecue was participa-
ted in by crowd Of about one hundred
whites and about three hundred colorsd
Democrats, and the meeting was ad-
dressed by four white and four colored
speakers. The impression made upon
the colsred voters was excellent, and one
colored leader declared that he would
bring two hundred colored voters from
one precinct to vste the Democratic tick.
ct. These facts are encouraging, and
will have tendency to inspirit our peo-
pie to make diligent efforts to impress
the colored voters with their honest pur-
poses and upright intentions. Let them
understand that intimidation will not be
allowed, and that their freedom to vote
the Democratic ticket shall forever re-
main unquestioned, without the slightest
molestation from their former leaders
and allies.