Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1876-05-17

house reads: "Dont fool With tn
girls while they are filing the Goa
oil lamps" '.'
/ The Philadelphia papers all oppos
closing the Exhibition on SUNDAYS
and are making big hubbub abon
lit. III
| Want q wife, young man? Bcrk
county, Pa, has q girl, 10, pretty, win
rises 2t 4, milks ten cows, feeds til
pigs and gets breakfast. a8E "A
4 Mrs. Fitch has received her famou
diamonds, and st. Louis society ha
come to the conclusion that it is ba'
taste to wear many diamonds.
/ Said an Irish Justice to an obstre
porous prisoner on trial: "We wan
nothing but silence, and very little 0
that 9S.iI 98 ait" .r ID
The fashion OF black lace mits
which was the style some twenf,
years ago, is again getting to be ''th
thing. 50 M,
A Michigan church is advertised I,
give a "Mother Goose Reception" i,
which $40 veritable geese will TAX,
part And how many Michiganders
"My onthonkful hearers" said :
backwOods preacher, 'syou air lik,
onto hogs eatin' acorns. They never
look up to see where the acorns com,
FROM" t,S
"Landlord, didn't you ever have .
gentleman stop with you before ?
"Are you a gentleman" "Yes. 1 am.
"Then | never had one stop with IN,
before"
A frontier Texan who was asked il
he was going to attend the Centenni
al Exhibition, guilelessly replied
aid like to, but I'll have to put it OF
till next year."
"Vill you dake sumding?" said q
German teetotaler to friend, while
standing near a tavern. II don't care
if do was the reply. "VelI, den
let's take q walk"
1t has leaked out that the bullets
with which those two Pennsylvania
students were going to shoot each
other in duel, were made of dough
the same rs their heads.
There is something wonderful i'm
the grace with which an ex-Confed.
crate forgives the Federal Govern
mcnt, and accepts seat in its Con
grcss at $l7 per day in greenbacks.
"There are several woman in Water
loo who never pretend to enter a
store without stealing something
says the Waterloo Courier, and there
upon proceeds to give number of
examples.
The disguised Britisher who conclu-
ded that the American national tune
was the spit-toon, is revising Shakes
peare for young Yankees. He has
got as far as "'Tis true It's spitty, and
spitty It's, It's true"
Be careful how you exercise your
knowledge of slang. Mrs. Wilcox,
of Baltimore, bas just been sued for
$4,000 damages for yelling out,
"Shoot that haiti to a Mrs. Donglass.
who had just got new hat.
A California clergyman, Rev II. L.
Parshall, has just recovered $4,000 in
prosecution for SANDER. Every vii
ified reverend owes it to religion and
morality either thus to vindicate him
self or abdicate the sacred Office.
A new industry has been brought
to light in Newark, N. J. A man was
arrested there last week for stealing
the stepping stones from in front OF
the houses and selling them to per-
sons with whom he had previously
made contracts.
Mr.. White, an elderly citizen OF
Hardin county, found cave on his
farm and proceeded to explore it,
lie came back without any hat, . and
escorted by number of rattlesnakes,
all trying to strike his legs with their
venomous fangs.
There is man named Thurston
living on White Oak Creek in Titus
county, Texas, who is feet inches
in height and well proportioued. The
people there feel much favored IN
being able to see this giant as many
times day as they choose, '.free OF
charge"
A Maryland man has sent to the
New York San two pills. which he
says are certain cure for hydropho-
bia. He has sent them to the right
place. No one can read the San ten
minutes without reaching the conclu-
sion that the editor is mad-especially
at Grant for not giving him an office.
-N0yTist0,rn Herald.
One of the Fiji cannibals that Bar.
mum imported four years ago is to he
married shortly to a young German
girl, whose father keeps cigar shop
i'm New York. He is good-lookine
fellow of twenty-five, with European
features and a light yellow complex
ion. His name is BiA-a-boo-yac. HI
speaks English, and has become
Americanized.
The Liberal Christidn describes :
curious custom which still survives il
certain parts of Wales: AT funera
of hireling, "who lives by such ser
vices, has handed over to him loa1
of bread, a maple bowl full Of bee
or milk, and a sixpence, in cOhsidera
ton of which he takes upon himsei
all the sins OF the deflnct and Tree
him or her from walking after death.
"' sap '
Foreigners do not appear to under
stand our people. That was particu
larly the case with an Englishman il
a Cross-tOwn car the other day, whel
| n female nasSanGer with n mark o
basket in her lap suddenly jnmpe,
mn and shrieked: 80 heavens y an,
piunging her head full tilt against hi
shirt front, begged him to s.jab" hi
hand down her back and "yank tina
hug OUT l
/ g.. p.,;..ao lNo ,o..,r.
| s'T STis q aiasaa. .Ns. .-Sea.! ,e.,e ~ o,
s,ota ~ NevaJs % snch ram,,habl
town as this. The occupation of tn
uRlucky inhabitants who are not i'm
mediately connected with the railroa'
4 nns nj anan,a IN In N " s.han II