The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-10-12
TOO LATE FOR. THE TRAIN.
A Domestic Experiences,

which was Just pulling away from the
bridge switch at the rate of a thousand
miles minute. Their first impulse
was TO run after it, but as the train was
out of sight and whistling for Sasetown
before they could act Upon the impulse,
they remained in the carriage and dis
consolately turned the horses heads
homeward. f.V .,.'
alt all comes of having to wait for a
womanito get ready" Mr.. Man broke
the silence with, very grimly. lua
I was resdy before you were," re-
piled his wife. @
"Great heavens" cried Mf. Man,
in irrepressible Impotence, jerking the
horses Jaws out of place, "just listen
to that! And l sat out in the buggy ten
minutes, yelling at you to come along
until the whole neighborhood heard
mel"
EYES," acquiesced Mrs. Man, with
the provoking placldity which no one
can assume but a woman, Sand every
time started down Stairs YOU sent me
back for something yoti had forgotten. y
Mr.. Man groaned, +" Thi; is too much
to BEAR" he said, sstwhen every body
knows that if / was goins 20 Europe,
| would Just rnss Into the house, put on
eleeH shirt, grab up my grip-sack,
and fy, while you would want at least
six months for preliminary prepare
tons, and then dawdle around the whole
day of starting until every train had left
town. .... .. .......-
WE'LL the upshot of the Halter was,
that the Mans put OH their visit to Au-
rora until The next week, and it was
agreed that each one should get him or
herself ready and go down to the train
and go, and the one who failed to get
ready skould be left. The day of the
hatch came around in due time. The
train was to go at 10: 80, and Mr.. Man,
after attending to his business, went
home at 9: As. ne
"Now, ther,n he shouted, "only
three-quarters of an hour to train time.
Fly aroundj fair field and no favofs,
you khow.h ID .F Il f-r
And away they flew. Mr.. Man bulg-
ed into this room and rushed through
that one and diyed into one closet after
another with Uncomfortable rapidity,
chuckling under his breath all the time,
to think how cheap Mrs. Man would
feel when he started off alone. He
stopped on his way up stairs to pull off
his heavy boots to save time. For the
same reason he pulled off his coat as
he. ran through the dining-room and
hung it on corner Of the silver closet.
Then he ierked OF his vest as he rushed
through the hall and tossed 1t On q Hook
in the hat rack, aud by the time he
reached his own room he was ready to
plunge into his clean clothes. He pull
ed out bureau drawer and began to
paw at the things like Scotch terrier
after rat.
"Eleanor!" he shrieked, "where are
my shirtsfn -.
"tn yuur bureau drawer" calmly
replied Mrs. Man, who was standing
placidy before glass, calmly and de-
liberately coaxing refractory crimp
into place. .-... ..-..-.... .... r..
"Well, by thunder, they ANTI"
shouted Mr.. Man, little annoyed. "I've
emptied every thing out of the drawer
and there isn't a thing in it ever saw
before" r $50 H.r.
Mrs. Nah stepped back few PAGES,
held her head on one side and after
satisfying herself that the crimp would
do, and would stay where she had put
it, replied,
"These things scattered around on
the floor are all mine. Probably You
haven't been looking inyour own draw
en-" rF l-i... ..
al don't see," testify observed Mr.
Man, nAhy you couldn't have put my
things out for me when you had moth
ing else to do all morning.
"Because;" said Mrs. Man, settling
herself into an additional article of raj
ment with awful elaboration, "nobody
put mine out for me. A fair field and
no favors, my dear" -.
Mr.. Man plunged into his shirt like a
bull at a red flag.
"fouli" he shouted, in malicious tri-
umph. "No button on the neek!"
Because" said Mrs. Man, sweetly,
after deliberate stare at the fidget-
ting, impatient man, during which she
buttoned her dress and put eleven pins
where they would do the most good,
''because you have got the shirt on
wrong side out" 70. - ..'.-'- 'a
When Mr.. Man slid out of the shirt,
he began to sweat. He dropped the
shirt three times before he got it on, and
while it was over his head ne heard the
clock strike ten. When his head came
through he saw Mrs. Man coaxing the
ends and bows of her neck-tie. ID l.-
"Where's my shirt-studs? he cried.
Mrs. Man went out into another room
and presently came back with the
gloves and hat, and saw Mr.. Man emp
wing all the boxes he could find in and
about the bureau. Then she said:
"In the shirt you just took off,"
Mrs. Man put on her gloves while
Mr.. Man hunted up and down the room
for his cuff-buttons.
Eleanor" he snarled, at last, | be-
ieve you must know where those but
Tons are" -yr-
al haven't seen them" said the lady,
settling her hat " didn't you lay them
down on the window-sill in the sitting
room last nightP'
Mr.. Man remembered, and he went
down stairs on the run. He stepped on
one of his boots, and was Immediately
landed in the. hall at the foot of the
stairs with neatness and dispatch, at
-ended in the transmission with more
bumps than he could count with Webb's
adder, and landing with bang like the
He'll Gate explosion. =
care you nearly ready, Algernon?n
asked the wife of his family, sweetly,
leaning over the banisters. r s-sf
The unhappy man groaned. Can't
you throw me down that other boot?"
be asked. RI .s-s.- -.l.... ..
Mrs. Man pityingly kicked it down to
him. ....--.....--.-.............
"My valise?" he inquired, as he
rugged away at the boot. s.i..t
"Up in your dressing-room," she
a- '-Ha'i- a '''
"Packed?" --
al do not know; unless you packed
t yourself, probably not" she replied,
With her hand on the door-knob; 81
had barely time to pack my own" i
She was passing out of the gate, when
he door opened, and he shouted
"Where in the name of goodness did !
you put my vest? 1t has all my money |
n iti's .-.......-...--.-.....---.. ,......