The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-10-07
A Truly Crate u1 Widower.

Sir Walter Scott used to be fond of
telling the following story of his cousin
Watty Watty aforesaid was midship-
man in the British navy:
On certain occasion he and his mess
mates had gone on shore ut Portsmouth,
and had overstayed their leave, besides
spending all their money, and running
up q bill at q tavern at the Point. Their
Ships made signals for sailing, peremp-
torily calling all hands on board; but,
when they would have started, the land
lady said:
"No, gentlemen, you cannot escape
without paying your reckoning" And
to confirm her words, she called bailiff
and his posse to take charge OF them.
The midshipmen felt they were in a
bad scrape, and begged to be released.
"No, no." said the resolute matron,
{" must be satisfied in some way. You
must be aware, gentlemen, that you will
be totally ruined and disgraced If you
do not 60 on board in time
They groaned bitterly, for they knew
she spoke the truth.
"Well," she continued, iii give
you all chance. l am so circumstanced
here that | cannot we'll carry on my
business rs Il single woman, and must
contrive somehow to have husband !;
or, ut all events, must be able to pro-
duce marriage certificate. Now, the
only terms on which will set You free
are that one of you shall consent to
marry me. l don't care snap who it
is; but-by all that is holy!-one of you
l will have for Il husband, or else you
all go to Jail, and your ship sails with
out you"
The vixen was not to be coaXed nor
entreated. Tears and prayers were of
no avail. After time the poor middies
agreed to draw lots. Watty drew the
matrimonial slip of doom. No time
was to be lost. A marriage license was
speedily procured, and they went to the
nearest church, where the knot was tied.
The bride, on their return to the tav-
ern, gave them good dinner. with
plenty of wine, and sent them off in her
wherry. Of her own accord she had
proposed to her husband that, as the
marriage certificate was her chief prize,
lie was at liberty to live apart from her
forever, if he so chose.
The ship sailed, and the young gem
tlemen religiously adhered to the oath
of secrecy they had made previous to
drawing lots. year after. ut Jamaica,
file of English papers reached the
midshipmen's berth, and Watty, who
was carelessly looking them over, was
attracted by the account of robbery
and murder, and the execution of the
culprits Mt Portsmouth. Suddenly leap
ing to his feet, and waving the paper
above his head-forgetful of his oath in
the excitement of ecstasy-he cried out,
Thank Heaven. My wife is hanged!"
HIS GROUND FOR DIvORCE.-A Ra-
leigh lawyer was interviewed yesterday
by an agriculturist living score Of
miles from the city, who sail he wanted
to secure divorce from his wife.
"You don't live happily with her,
eh?' inquired the attorney.
''No; we don't seem to hitch with n
cent" was the quiet reply.
''Does she scOld and fret and make
your home hell upon earth, so to
speak?" continued the lawyer.
''That's her. exactly"
"And You are prepared to prove that
you have peaceful disposition, and
that You have done everything you
could to make home PLEASANT"
"You bet l am! Anybody as knows
me will swear that l wouldn't hurt a
flea, and that move around home like
an angel
"Well, / guess we can make out Il
case said the lawyer, as he took up
his pen and began to jot down the
points. After moment lie inquired
''Do you think your wife will contest
the case? Has she any lefense?'
'Waal, now, l never thought of
that" slowly replied the farmer. Il
didn't know as she had anything to say
about it,"
''She may have. Has she any grounds
for complaint against you?"
81 don't know much about law" an
swered the client in hesitating way.
Il know I've got Il hankering after her
sister Marian, and her sister Marian has
hankering after me, but whether them
is good grounds for complaint 1 don't
know!
The lawyer hasn't filed bill yet
Raleigh Sentinel.
PETRIFIED HEROES. - The bodies Of
those who fell in the late European war
are now being exhumed by the subur-
bon municiOnlifias IF Paris for inter-