Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1876-05-04
CAUGHT THE PRESIDENT.



| The Democratic members of at least
one of the house committees to-day
discredited themselves far more than
they can hope to disgrace the admin
istration. In the history of the SEES
sion thus far the cutters of politics
and society have been raked to make
case against the cabinet. Bank &C.
counts have been ransacked, tattle of
frontier camps have been listened to,
detectives have been made oracles to
prove high officials of the government
guilty of crime. 1t was only few
days ago that committee permitted
the false and malicious statement to
be telegraphed throughout Christen-
dom that the President had been de-
tected in taking money from the
treasury to purchase his election, but
it was left for the committee on ex-
penditures in the interior department
today to surpass all others in the at
tempt to catch Grant. The Demo-
Gratis on the committee had caused all
the Republicans to be notified that
AN IMPORTANT WITNESS.
was to be examined, and that all
should be present. No hint was
given of the nature of the expected
evidence, but the fact escaped from
some of the less careful Democrats,
that the committee held President
Grant in the hollow of its hand. The
committee had been sitting with open
doors, but the mysterious witness was
produced and the doors were barred
for two hours.-The witness upon
whose lips the fate of the President of
the United States hung was an ordi.
nary business man. The Democratic
members were on tiptoe with expec-
tation. The Republicans were inter-
ested but ignorant of the forthcoming
results. The witness was almost in
different.
HIS MARVELLOUS STORY,
was this; Some years ago person in
high station did him great injury. 1t
became important to the peace of
mind of that great parsonage that
witness be harmeles: Hired detec-
tives soon hurried him to the govern.
ment mad-house. He was kept there,
friendless and powerless, months,
when one day agents of this great
parsonage approached him, giving
him his choice between lifeimprison-
ment with fanatics or life in exile in
Europe. He chose the latter. The
detectives accompanied him to the
steamer, and he left for Europe. Be-
coming weary of Europe, he return
ed, and appeared before the commit
tee to-day to tell the story. The
committee seemed paralyzed in part
with astonishment, in part with dia-
bolical Joy. "Who was that great
parsonage that wronged you ?" asked
the chairman. "The President OF
the United States" was the reply.
"What wrong did he do you ?" There
the witness paused. He would die
before he would tell 1t was a deli
cate subject and should not be men,
toned. For an hour the committee
piled him with questions, they
threatened him with prisonment, with
severe punishment, and with terrors
of contumacy. The witness yielded.
He said the President of the United
States had.
| DONE HIM MORTAL WRONG
that he had ruined his (the witness')
betrothed, and since that time witness
bad hoop ,1rocor;hoI ord paroa
cuted man. Hence those detectives,
hence those mad-house bars. The
President had frequently came to the
house of witness about it at the dead
of night, and had importuned him
at his bedside not to ruin his great
fame. "But," interfered republican
member, show did the President get
to your bedside at that time ofnight ?
Did he ring the bell p The climax
had come. The democrats were
enthusiastic in their sardonic joy, and
were just ready to render their YER
dict against the President, when
witness the guilty influence 81
want you to understand, gentlemen
that President Grant in the body
never did me or mine harm. He has
only done me that great wrong as
spirit"
The collapse came ; the witness
was a mailman. The committee in
stantly discharged him, Immediately
ordered the stenographer to suppress
his notes, and begged the republican
members to keep the matter silent.
One of the latter, with good dea
OF indignation, said that he hoped he
might be as mad as witness if he kept
still. In this way the democrats
of the committee on expenditures i'll
the interior department cought the
President.