davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
Talking BARRIERS.

A nan who had been nearly talked
to death by loquacious BARRIERS went
into a shop, the other day, which he
had never patronized before, and hand
ed one of the artists a card bearing the
words: "Give me an easy shave" The
barber motioncd him to a chair, and
then, turning round, winked at his fell
low-laborers and said: "Here's a deaf
and dumb 'un boys; wants an easy
shave" "Well, if you cash him he
can't talk" replied one who was wait
ing for "next." "No, you bet he can't"
returned the first. "An easy shave be
bowed! Why, he's got bristles like Il
Texas boar, and his skin looks tougher
than a canal mules" The boys laughed,
and the operator, who, in the meantime
had lathered the mans face, INDUCED
in further comments rs he urged the
razor over the facial territory before
him. ''What a nose that is" said he.
elf he should snceze, where would |
bep" "Well, his cheek is harder than
Il razor hone" ado you want us to
help hold his nose while you
go over his lips, Johnny?" asked
another of the idle razor-wirlders.
"Don't know but what | will want Il
little help" "Be careful and don't
drop your razor down his ear, or you
will lose it," admonished another.
"What a dirty head he's got" observed
Johnny, as he ran his fingers through
the mans hair. 81 say, some of you
fellows write a card and ask him if he
don't want II shampoo" The card was
written and presented to the man, who
shook his head at it, and, the job being
finished, he arose from the chair. s.It's
all right, boys" said he, as he laid
down fifteen cents. al don't mind
yourta talk any; | could stand it first rate
so long as you didn't say any thing
about base bali, third term or the
whisky ring frauds" lie disappeared,
and those BARRIERS sat down and thought
about nim.-PrOUidence Post.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
Fashion Notes.

Striped stockings worn in good socie-
ty should always be mates.
For surf bathing, newspaper bustles
are inappropriate; 1t Is not considered
ton to enter the water in full evening
dress.
Ulster o%vercoats are rarely seen now
on the Fifth Avenue or Broadway.
No young gentleman of discreet taste
will appear at a summer hop in Well
ington boots and Turkish trowsers.
Pullbacks, corsets, money and habit
ual drunkards continue to get tighter
and tighter.
The latest novelty in summer suits
for gentlemen is a Talma of duck can
vas, with large portraits in oil of Til
den and Hendricks or Hayes and
Wheeler.
There is no material change in the cut
of infants underwear.
A fashionable suit this season Is what
is known as the divorce suit. II is ex-
pensive, but attracts attention.
A new and elegant style of burial cas-
ket has the monogram of the inmate on
the center Of the lid. 1t is called the
"Childs's, A. NJ, casket."
For travelling, carry a crowbar to
open car-windows a Spencer or Henry
Martini rifle forprotection against hack
men and hotel clerks; a good supply Of
equable temper, and a large valise TO
contain greenbacks.-N. y, SIN,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
The Rise of Mchcmet Ali Pasha.

Mehemet Ali Pasha, the commander
of the Turkish armies operating against
Servia, is a Frenchman. His history
has a flavor about it of medieval ro-
nance. His father, Detrois, was o
harpist in the orchestra of the Berlin
Theater Royal, who sent him to the L.e-
want, forty years ago, as a cabin boy
with 4 Prussian sea captain. He was
treated so badly that he ran away on
reaching Constantinople, and was lucky
enough to be taken into the service of a
great Turkish parsonage, no other than
Ali Pasha. He became a Mohammedan,
was educated, and put into the army.
His old father, who is still living in Ber-
lin, and very poor, not long ago learned
what had become of his son, and con-
triyed to get a letter to him. The re-
ply very shortly afterwards was the ap-
pearance at the door of old Detrois's
humble home of u splendid e~quipage,
from which descended the Turkish am
bassador in Germany, Aristarchi Bey
"a brother of the Turkish Minister in
Washington), who came to bring him
an aifectionate letter and such substan-
tial tokens of tilial affection rs will
make his last days days of pleasantness
and of peace.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
A Much Married Man.

Louis Hemingway is a man whose ex-
ploits in marriage among the well-to.
do people of CIcrmont County, Ohio,
and vicinity, have been equal in degree
to the attentions of George Magurn 10
the sex. Very recently some of his VIC
tins have taken pains to call in the help
of the law against him, and the effort
has revealed a story which is scarcely
credible. Two years ago he appeared
in the village of Cherry Grove as a ped
dler of jewelry. He was intelligent and
so fascinating that he soon won the
esteem of a Miss Vallient, an orphan
girl, living with her grandmother, and
owning a good property. Hemingway
agreed to marry her, and then borrow
ed $4,000 of her to start in business in
other localities. About this time it was
discovered that Hemingway had a wife
in Indiana, and soon after he eloped,
leaving Miss Vallient his creditor.
Soon afterward he married a young
girl in Kentucky, opposite New Rich
mond, D. Before the honeymoon was
over he had deserted her, not being
able to get as much money as he ex-
pected. He next appeared in Newton,
in Hamilton County, as a householder.
Here he engaged to marry a Miss
Brooks, a girl of some means. Going
with her to Cincinnati on a shopping
expedition one day he managed to get
possession of her pocketbook, and then
lost her in a crowded dry goods store.
His next venture was in Clermont
County, not far from the scene of his
first. He married Miss Annie Young
and moved to Nation, Ill. There he
deserted his wife in a short time, and
with singular impudence came back to
Clermont county, saying his wife would
soon follow him. He has now about
gone his length in this locality, and, as
he is wanted in court, he will probably
transfer himself to pastures new. He
is of medium height, hair slightly gray,
seldom wears q beard, has a ring and
wreath with a secret society design tat
tooed on each arm.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
Senator JOnes's Story.

"Some % years ago." said Senator
Silver Jones, al went to California,
and on the way out was an old gam
bier, with a set-out of faro boxes, rou-
lette tables, etc. He took a liking to
me, and he said, Johnny, I'll tell you
n secret that may save you many a dol
lar. DO you see this roulette wheel?
It's circle is black and red, and they
bet on the colors-a nearly even chance.
Now, watch, Johnny, as | sit here and
spin the ball. Do you see me gently
raise my knees and press under the
frame of the table? Well, those red
and black compartments are connected
by ,wo sets of wires. l raise my knees
when ! see that the bulk of money is on
the red, and that wire running through
the reds trills and trembles, so that the
ball won't rest on any red cell, but is
repealed and settles in some black spot.
Johnny, remember this when you have
bagged your gold DUST l went into a
gambling house about a year after
ward to make a stake. There was a
fine, fighting gambler sitting there
spinning roulette. Said l to myself,
'Young man, I'll just take a peep at
your knees He raised them very
gently. and I planted my money against
the pile, knowing that when he swept
the great amount off for the red he
must pay the black. So I picked up a
hundred dollars or SO. Every time l
hit it. That gambler got his eye on
me. 1t vas an eye full of smallpox
audacity. He addressed nae finally in
a loud tone of voice. Said he, Didn't
l tell you never to come here againp
Didn't l tell you that this was a place
for gentlemenP This is a gentlemen's
game. that man, gentlemen, it is my
duty to warn you against; that loafer
is a thief Well," continued Jones,
al had never in my life been there be-
fore, but l saw the scheme. II 1 re-
sented what the boss said there were
forty fellows there, cappers and so
forth, to kick mt down stairs and rob
me, so l meekly said, well, sir, l do
not wish to make any disturbance here.
II you don't want me here IN take my
money and go.'"-P Philadelphia Age,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
GOING INTO A DECLINE.

How often we hear this expression about
people who have some disease that few med
Zeal men seem TO understand. Some call II
liver complaint, some kidney disease, some
dyspepsia, and Others consumption. None
OF them afford relief. In the course of the
disease the patients have the following
symptoms-A tired, weak feeling, dizziness
in the head, with n faint, all gone sensation
at the pit Of the stomach, after eating q feel.
ing like u heavy load ON the stomach, pain
In the shoulders, sides and back ut times,
scanty, high colored urine, depositing q sed.
iment after standing, skin dark and swarthy,
covered In places with brown spots, hands
and feet cold and clammy ut times, at other
times hot and burning; sometimes there
Is an itching over the whole body, appetite
changesble, but food distresses and affords
but little nourishment; bowels irregular,
after a time a cough sets In, ut first dry, but
after awhile Il Is attended with e~xpeetora-
ton, n the body begins to waste. The
truth Is that In such cases the liver, stom-
ach, kidneys and blood are all diseased, aud
for this combination Of diseases we must ad-
minister a remedy that will act upon all Of
these organs at one time, or else, while one
Is being cured the others become worse.
The best article to meet such cases Is the
SHAKER EXTRACT or Roors mot u patent
medicine). This article generally removes
the disease. The article we mean Is sold by
a. s. White, slS Pearl Street, New York.
Agents wanted,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
How a Chinaman Bought {
Horse.

Wan Lee had long wanted a horse
with which to collect and deliver his
I" laundry" work about the city. Aim
lessly %strolling by the Kennard House,
he heard the pool seller shouting,
GLOW much for Fullerton, gentlemen;
how much for Fullerton I am offered
only $40 for this horse; the Maid sold
for 800! Who says 945 for Fuller
tonPn
Wan had heard something about Full
lerton. So when he saw a chance to
buy him-as it struck his heather intel
ligence-for only S45, he concluded he
had better close the bargain at once,
and secur a horse which could whisk
his delivery wagon around at a lively
rate. With a rapid nod he conveyed
the knowledge to the seller that he
would give the S45, and as there were
no higher bidders the purchase was
made.
Wau edged up to the stand and asked
when me payee, and when mt gcttec
hosp"
"Pay now" said the hurried clerk,
"and come around tomorrow night for
the chance"
"Alle light" said Wan, as he paid
and departed with the card which Sc
cured him the pool as far as Fullerton
was concerned.
The next night he pushed his card
forward and said "Alle light now
me wantec Flulleton."
"Fullerton?" said the clerk. "IIe
didn't win. Smuggler took the pool"
"Whatee you meanP You thief!
You payee me forty-iive dole or 90 to
fleece housed"
"You will get nothing" said the
clerk. "iou bet. your money and lost
it,"
Wan went for Il policeman, and en-
planned. When he learned that his S45
were gone forever, he shook his fist and
started for home, scattering Chinese
oaths ut the rate of about a thousand to
the minute. --Clereldnd Leader.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
Promise and Performances.

The proprlctors Of Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters promise nothing In behalf Of this
famous tonic and regulating elixir which it
will not perform. No pretensions ~irrecon-
cilable with common sense are made In ref.
erence to 1t, but evidence Of the most posi-
tive nature has been accommodating for over
q quarter of a century in its behalf which
proves 1t to be a reliable preventive and
curative Of malarial diseases, an efficient
and genial tonic and general corrective, and
specially valuable In cases where the bowels,
liver. stomach or urinary organs are affected.
Debility, the source from whence so many
bodily evils spring, Is entirely remedied by
the inyigoratiye action Of the Bitters, which
arrests premature decay M repairs losses
of nervous and muscular power while i'm
proving the appetite and rendering diges-
ton easy.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
MANY who are suffering from the effect,

MANY VINO are suffering from the effects
OF the warm weather and are debilitatsd are i'd.
vised by physicians to take moderate amounts Of
whisky two or three times during the day. In Q
little while those who adopt this advice frequently
increase the number Of " drinks" and In time be.
come confirmed inebriates. A beverage which
win not create thirst for intoxicating liquor and
which Is intended especially for the benefit OF do.
bilitated persons, whether at home or abroad, 10
DR.. Schenck's Sea Weed Tonic. Containing the
juices OF many medicinal herbs, this preparation
does not create an appetite for the intoxicating
cup. The nourishing and the life supporting prop.
critics OF many valuable natural productions con.
tanned in It and well known to medical men have
. most Strengthening influence. A single bottle Of
the Tonic win demonstrate its valuable qualities.
For debility arising IRON sickness, ovsr-sxertion,
or from any cause whatever, a winegiassfui of Sea
Weed Tonic taken aftsr meals will strengthen the
stomach and create an appetite for wholesome
food. To all who are about leaving their homes
we desire to say that the excellent effects Of Dr..
Schenck's seasonable remedies-Sea Weed Tonic
and Mandrake Pills-are particularly evident when
taken by those who are injuriously affected by q
change Of water and diet No person should leave
home without taking q supply OF these safeguards
along, For sale by all Druggists
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
AcENTsIISo LIvE BOOKS
ADVEKlIsEK

Who desire 70 roach eoaa n rezaefs can do 40
tia hest And cheapest manner w uAins ons o. 40
~ssctlDns Of IffE 0REAf NEwsfAFtH AuULIAN
LlsIs. Apply 70 y. y. PRATT, TeJssksoa sly~e
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17

THE ENORMOUS wAsTAGE Of grain, so issraabls
rMh Other styles Of Threshers, can be SAVED by this
lmpr2ved Machine, Sufficient, on ere-y job, 10 more has
pay al expenses of t~hreshing.
FLAX, TIMOTHY, MILLET. HUNGARIAN and
like seeds are threshed, separated, cleaned and saved
Is easily and perfectly as Wheat, Oats, Rye or Barley.
AN EXTRA PRICE Is usually paid for grain and
seeds cleaned by this machine, for extra cleanliness
IN THE WET GRAIN Of 1878, these were substan.
tally the ONLY MACHINES that could run with profit
or economy, doing CAST, thorough and perfect work,
aiken otia, utterly Jdaed.
ALL GRAIN, INF and MONEY wasting complies
tions, such "a Endless Aprons" "Radiies," ~Beaters,"
"Pickers," etc, are entiyeiy dspeassd trah less than
oie-half the usual q Ars, Belts, Boxes, and Journals;
easier managed; - durable light running no cost
Iy repairs, no 10 p" l~tterings" to clean up; not
troubled by adv ria, rain or storms.
FARMERS an An RAIsERS who are poasd
in the large saving M by 1t will not employ infs-
ror and wasteful ma Lines, but will iasia ON this
improved Thresher doing their work. WI
-FOUR SIZES made for e 8, 10 and u Horse
Powers. Also q speciality Of sKrARAroRs, Designed
and made r1raEssLY FOR STRAIN rvwEn. IA.
" STYLES OF HORSE POWERS, viz: our I'm
proved triple Gear" and our "spur Speed" CWood-
bury styiel both Mounted " on four wheels.
II INTERESTED In Threading or Grain Raising,
spply 10 our nearest Dealer, or write 10 rs for nlustrse
ted Circular (sent free), giving full particulars Of Sisu,
Styles, Prices, Terms. etc.
Nichols, Shepard d o.,
RATTLE CREEK, MICH
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17
SAVANNAH,
THE PRESIDENCY.
MISSOURI.

acceptance of Nominations for Press
iuent nnd Vice. presiden mt OF the United
Stntes ny the Democratic Nominees.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1876-08-17

or be absorbed into the vast mass OF securities
neid Dy Investments IL merely q question of the
rate o. interest they draw. Even IL they were to
remain IN their present form and the Govern.
meht were 10 agree to pay on them u rate Of in.
Wncst making them desirable as Investments
tney would cease TO circulate and take their
place with Government, state, inu.
nlcipal and other corporate and
private bonds of which thousands of mil.
lions exist among us. In the perfect ease with
which they can be changed from currency into
Investments lies the only danger to be guarded
against in the adoption Of general measures in.
tended to remove or clearly ascertain the sur.
plus-that is, the withdrawal of any which are
not permanent excess beyond the wants of
business. Even more inischicvous would he any
which Affects tho public Imagination
with the fear OF AN apprehcnled scarcity. In a
community where credit is so much uscl fuctn.
atoms OF values and vicissitudcs in business are
largely caused by the temporary beliefs Of men
even before the beliefs can conform to asccr-
taincd realities.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-01-30
LuTrELL'S LIVING AGE.

Number 1861, for the week ending Jan.
Goth, is the fifth weekly number ofthe new
volume. II contains Prussian campaign
In Holland, from the Edinburgh Reciev J
Leit-handed Elsa, Biacksood: Corncille,
and the Literary Society of his Age, by
the author Of "Mlrabeau," Temple Bar !;
The Story Of Monique, by Julia Kava.
naugh; A Neglected Humorist.
Temple Bar; A New Paper-mak-
ing Material Chambers Journal !;
How to Breathe Properly, Pab-
lie Health; The Monasterics and the
Poor Laws. TIE Month; Cheese Factor.
les In the America, &C., together
with the usual poetry and miscellany.
The present Is favorable time to sub
scribe, beginning with tho new volume.
For fltty.two numbers Of sixty-iour large
pages each, Tor more than 5000 pages a
year, the subscription price (Ss,) Is low.
or still better. for 5000 any one of the
81 monthlies or wceklics Is sent with
The Living Age for a year. both prepaid.
Lttell & Gay, Boston, are the publish
ers.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-01-30

TIE Financial Chronicle of last week
gives list of the railroads that have de-
taulted in the interests OIL their bonds
since the panic OF September, is.'' To-
Rether with the amount Of Their Dohu,
outstanding, respectively. There are l90
dcfaulting roads. and the bonds on which
they have dcfaultcd amour, In the aggre-
gate to s7s3,0e7,6 e7. The larg-
Is, propor,ion. s232,3G6,7ol. was de-
faulted OIL in lsy4; the next largcs,
proportion, sl5O,}33,cco. in is'a; the
amount dciaslted on In 1873 was slio.-
44s,OO0. Of the total amount Of bonds
defaulied upon. s5as.Oii,eoo i ia default
still. According to roor's Manual thc
entire bonded debt Of the railroads IN ihe
United States is ss,ooo.oal. 0aa: 80 that
about 30 per cent. al this }, nov IA de-
fault. This is one OF the ne. product. OF
the sy.,em-hroueht TO an end in 1873 by
the psuic-ei building Railroads a decade
in advance Of their needs.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-01-30
THE DEMOCRATIC COMMITTEE.
BiSMARCK'S AUTOGRAPH
now Michigan Girl Obts!ned r..

The Grand Rapids (Michigan) Eqgie
prints an extract from a letter written
IL Berlin, by daughter Of resident Of
Grand Rapids. 10 Elliott I. s!ocum OF the
same city. She says:
Among my Christmas presents was a
beautiful autograph album, bound IN
black and SILVER. | said Immediately.
this shall be Il distinctly Ger
man book; it will be delightful
souvenir OF his winter passed in
Berlin. "Oh, ii ! only could have Biz
marck's autograph do admire him so
much Everybody laughed at me, and
said perhaps some OF the officers could
procure for me document which he had
signed. But thought it would be much
nicer 10 have something directly from
him, 40 one day sent the following note.
written IN English. so o. 10 make more
impression:
10 His Hi9hne.s Prince Bsmark
a young AmcricaH girl who. during
two winters passed in Germany, has
learned 10 love Don Vatcrland, would
feel ineXprcssibly honored TO be able to
carry back 10 America the Autograph OF
the greatest living statesman. Begging
that this request may not hc considered h
most unwarrantubc intrusion. with the
deepest respect,
LORRAINE +. WOOD"
thought il very improbable that
I should receive any answer. so imagine
II You can, my delight, when large en-
Nclopr was brought by the postinan yes.
tcrday. with Bismarck 4, own private arm,
IN great red seal on the back. Incl0sec
was my note with hi. written with ,
large, striking hand on the blank side OF
the paper:
Il am sorry to state that can not do
even for young lady. what have oitcr
refused 10 those Of older years.
Bl-MARCk,
Was II not cunning in him TO send hii
! autograph while refusing TO send IL
Every one thinks hc must have been in
! ton'cly amused az Inc having The courag,
to write and that "thc greatest Twin.
statesman and my name Lorraine
! which took pains 10 write very distinctly
1 Increased the effect. am glad too, tina
he returned my note, and shall past,
letter, seal and all into my book 20
shall have the whole extent of the cor
| rcspOndence.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-01-30
CONVERGE BETWEEN TIE UNITED
STATES AND MEXICO

Says the Quincy Wing, upon a sub
jet interesting, not only TO the city Of
New Orleans, but to the whole Nlssis-
sippi valley
The necessity Of change III ihc com
mercial relations existing between the
United States and the Mexican Repub.
lie, has long been apparent, AMI 1t
i. somewhat surprising that no rene.
dial legislation has yet been had
with view to placin. them on a
better and more equitable basis.
The proposition now ia, ., sub
mitted by Mr.. Gibson. member OF
the house from Louisiana, that steps be
taken towards holding convention com.
posed VI representatives from both gov
srnments, for the purpose Of agreeing
upon a reciprocal free list and rate Of du-
ties. In support OF thi, proposition, Mr..
Cyrus Busssy, president oi the New
Orleans Chamber Of Commerce.
writes Mr.. Gibson that tie time ma.
now come when action in ilds matter
cannot be delayed. some way 10 the
great southern markets OF Mexico and
the spanish colonies. that are now prac-
ticaliy inhibited to tlIe surplus Of Amer
lean products, must be opened some
means dlyiscd to diminish the enormous
st*cle sxport-estimated at the annual
sum OF si75, 900, cO0-that the balance OF
trade now shows, and the proposed con
ven,ioa would seem TO he the wisost pre-
iiininary proceeding toward that end.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1876-01-30
NARsHALL GRAINS rLAsI.nySu.

The poem" read by Marshall Grain
FEW moments previous 10 hi. execution.
has been widely copied in the papers of
Souther" Illinois. The lines are published
just as they were copied by the reporter.
rom Craih own manuscript, he having
insisted that no corrections of punctu,.
ton, capitalization or OF grammatical er.
rors should be made. From this circum.
stance it would seem that Grains rhymos
were original, and that his pride OF au.
thorshlp extended even to the bad graul-
mar, lower case is and incorrec,
photography. But the poem was no'
original, aud neither was lis idea of cult
vsung the muses. and reading to the PEG
pie assembled TO witness his taking of
the result OF his wooings. lie had pro
totype In the person Of Mr.. William De
isney, a noted desperate, who som. two
months ago expiated the crime of mur
der on the gallOws III New York. Grain
We think, must have read OF Delan.v.s
rhyming propensi,ies ani Of the attention
he Attracted to himself because of then,
and determined that writing pocn
would add something to the eciat with
which no himself would swing. Hen