The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-04-13
How 1 Edited an Agricultural
sd - stsat Paper.
BY MARK TWAIN.

.ts saFb EYeMARK TWAIN.
.ur aIehW ---z-2Lz zLAslAZ
'' / did not take the temporary editor
ship of an agricultural paper without
misgivings. Neither would a lands
man take command of ship without
misgivings. But l was in circum-
stances that made the salary an object.
The regular editor of the paper was
going off for holiday, and accepted
the terms he offered and took his
place. -3i-"
o The sensation Of being at work
again was luxurious, and ] wrought
all the week with unfiagging pleasure.
We went to press, and 1 waited day,
with ssme sOlicitude, to see whether
my effort was going to attract any no.
tice. AS left the effice, toward sun
down, n group of men and boys at the
foot of the stairs dispersed with one
impulse, and gave me passage-way,
and heard one Of them say: "That's
him." was naturally pleased by this
incident. The next morning found
a similar group at the foot of the stairs,
and scattering couples and individu-
ais standing here and there in the
street, and over the way, watching me
with interest.
The group separated and fell back
- 10
as 1 approached, and l heard man
say, "Iook at his eye," l pretended
not to observe the notice was attract
ing, But secretly I was pleased with it,
and was purposing to write an account
of it to my aunt. l went up the short
flight of stairs and d.heard CHEEKY voices
and a ringing laugh as ] drew near
the door, which opened and caught
a glimpse oftwo young rural-looking
men, whose faces blanched and length
ened when they saw me, and then
they both plunged through the win
dow with a great cras h. L was sur
prised. In about an hour an old gem
with q flowing beard and
fine but rather anstcre face, entered
and sat down at my invitation. lie
seemed to have something on his
mind. He took Off his hat and set it
OH the floor, and got out of it red
silk handkerchief, and copy of our
paper.
lie put the paper on his lap. and
while he polished his spectacles with
his handkerchief, he said, care you
the new editor?
/ said was.
''IIave you ever edited ar agricul-
tural paper before? 2"
mo-" said |, "this is my first at
Tempt"
"Very likely. Have you had any
experience in agriculture practically ?"
''No; believe l have not"
"Some instincts told me se," said the
old gentleman putting en- his specta-
:les and looking over them with as
perity, while he folded his paper into
! convenient shape. IL wish to read
you what must have made me have
that instinct. 1t was this editorial.
Listen and see if it was you that wrote
this:
"Turnips should never be pulled it
Injuries them. 1t is much better to
send a boy up and let him shake the
tree
'.Now what do you think of that?
for really suppose you wrote it,"
"Think of it?? Why, l think it is
good. l think it is sense. | have he
doubt that every year millions Of
bushels of turnips are spoiled in this
township alone by being pulled when
in half ripe condition, when if they
had sent boy up 10 shake the tree"
''Shake Your grandmother! Turnips
don't grow on trees!" .
ooh, they don't, don't they? Well
who said they did The language
was intended to be wholly
tigurative. Anybody that knows any,
thing will know that meant that the
boy should shake the vine.'
They this old person got mp and
tore his paper all into small shreds,
and stamped on them, and broke sew
eral things with his cane and said l
did not know as much as COW; and
then went out and banged the door
after him, and, in short, acted in such
a way that fancied he was displeas-
ed about something. But not know
ing what the trouble was, could not
be Of any help to him.
Pretty soon after This long, cada-
verous creature, with lanky locks
down to his shoulders and a
weeks stubble bristling from The hills
and valleys OF his face, darted within
the door, and halted motionless, with
finger OH lip aud head and body bent
in listening attitude. No sound was
heard. Still he listened. No sound.
Then he turned the key in the door,
and came elaborately tiptoing toward
me till he was within long reaching
distance OF me, when he stopped and
alter scanning my face with intense
interest for while, drew a folded
copy of our paper from his bosom and
said:
"There, you wrote that. Read it to
me quick Relieve me. / suffer-"
l read as follows, and as the sem
tsnces fell from my lips could see the