The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-04-14
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

/ y
grand jury for obtaining a family under
false pretenses.
THIRTY Indian families, with their
dogs, tTappings and paraphernalia, VIII
encamp on the Centennial grounds, un-
deI the direction of Professor Baird.
TURKEY has fifteen immense ships of
war which cost nearly two millions Of
dollars apiece Their sole duty is to fire
salutes when the Sultan goes to the
mosque
"CAN you see me, Tdcarest?'' said Il
Chicago man to his dyingwiie. "Tell me,
can YOU see me ?" No." she family
whispered, "but l can smell your
breath"
THE Boston Transcript (Dana's organ)
throws out threat like this: " Massa-
| chusetts has not the power to make Mr.
Dana n minister, but she can make him
a United States senator some of these
days"
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina, has had
| an elopemeut, in which the bridegroom
was sixty and the bride thirty. The ia
ther of the bride tried to be present at
the ceremony with a pitchfork, but took
the wrong road.
THE peculiar bent of the German
mind Is shown by the fact that out Of
the twelve thousand five hundred and
| sixteen books published in Germany in
| 1875, only nine hundred were devoted 10
! fiction and the drama.
CUSTOMER" What did you think Of
| the bishops sermon on Sunday, Mr.
! Wiesby ?" Hairdresser-" Wen, really,
sir, there was a gent a scttin' in from TO-
me as 'ad his air parted that crooked
! that | couldn't ear word :"
a PRETTY little Ohio schoolmarm tried
TO whip one of her pupils a boy of fifteen,
the other day, but when she commenced
operations he cOolly threw his arms
around her neck and give her hearty
kiss. She went straight back to her desk,
and her face was "just as red"
How DROLL!-
Fourteen little hj,r bugs caught out in a
Scrambled quick as lightning into the near
est flower.
8" Dew and honey said they all. "Dearme!
this is sweet
Looks as though it really might be good
enough 10 eat"
They smelled it, they tasted it," Yes, in
deed it's nice
Leahet after leatlet vanished in n trice
By the time the sun came, to chase away the
shower,
There were all the fourteen bugs hut who
could find the flower
Into it the creatures went: now d was in
them
Fourteen little fat bugs sitting on a stem!
The debating societies of South Caro-
lima have been offered the following pro-
blem by the Abbeville Press: (Which
is the best way to get news-by borrow
ing your neighbor's paper, or subscribing
on time without any intention Of paying
for it ?"
MOLIERE was asked the reason why,
i'm certain countries the king may as
sumo the crown at fourteen years of age
and can not marry before eighteen. at
is" answered Moliere, "bcCause it is
more difficult to rule a wife than a king
DOM"
MADAM" cynically observed n gen
tleman to leader of fashionable society
of Washington, "woman doesn't seem 60
be as much of a 'clinging vine as she
once Was" That's because of the eX-
treme insecurity of the manly oak" she
replied.
The Keamey (Nebraska) Press argues
in favor of demonstrating the buffalo,
and saws: "The animal can easily be
tanned and made To do good service in
the harness that while his tail is not so
handy to twist, in every other respect,
size, strength, get-uP and style, he IL
vastly superior to the domestic OK
"CHILDREN," said Il country minister,
addressing a Sunday-school, "why are
we like flowers? What do we have that
flowers have" And a small boy in tho
infants class, whose breath smelled OF
vermiluge, rose up and made reply,
" Worms" and the minister crept under
the pulpit chair 70 hide his emotion.
WHEN the great Mohammcd found
poet of that day making rhymes upon
him, he said to Ali. the first Of the faith
full, Take the rascal away and cut out
his tongue" The wise Ali handed the
poet a purse of gold. "This," said he
q o, thou rogue who mockest the proph-
ct, this is the only way TO cut out thy
tongue"
WE are glad to silence one slander
against Gen. Schcnck. 1t is this story
that he came away from England with
out waiting upon the queen and making
his official adieus. He met her majesty
while he was streakiug it down TO the
ship. "By-by, Vicky," he said, chceri-
ly. TIN o. p. H." Well, so long,
Bobby" the dear old girl replied, and
they parted friends.
THE BLACK Hills STORY, BRIEFLY
emigrants are prepared
to 90 to work cutting timber and tilling
the ground, and TO assume the othor
trials and pains of pioneer life to oke
out an existence, they should take warn
ing from the experience of a man writ
ing from Custer City, in the Black Hills.
He finds that claim owners are anxious
te trade off their claims for -four and
bacon, and that the miners were earning
at most from fifty cents TO one dollar
day Chicago Tribune.