The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-03-30
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Minor events-births.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Minor events-births. |
Don Carlos ID carlossal failure.
I -Cometh up as . four-rising yeast
Improving ones time-mending the
clock.
-Philadelphia will have comedy ma
ton company.
-Extravagance and crimear the closest
Of yoke-fellows. st III
A school-boy who does not know
what . coat sleeve is for. nose very lit
I tie. -
Prof. Tyndall is married at last, and
| science must take care of itself for few
weeks.
The question is asked, why news
papers will persist in abbreviating Son
Of Temperance and make s. O. T. of
him.
| One of the easiest and best ways to
expand the chest is to have good, large
heart in it. 1t saves the cost Of gymnas-
| tics.
1t may be safely assumed that when
| q young woman throws red pepper in Q
young mans eyes the engagement is
broken off.
| Don't stand still clogging the world,
and growing at the tight times, but re-
member that when everybody "moves on"
it makes plenty of room for all.
There are four good smothers who
have four bad daughters: Truth hath
hatred; prosperity hath pride; security
hath peril, and familiarity hath contempt
Mr.. Winslow says that all he wants is
he can't 60 anywhere else, anyhow; so
the horns of his dilemma are unpleasant
ly limited.
"A newspaper in British Columbia
speaks of shade trees there $50 feet high.
| What do they shade-the sun? And do
newspaper liars move around in high
society in that country ?-Detroit Free
Press.
| "A scrupulous legislator has been dis.
covered in Louisiana. He returned pass
which had been issued to him by q railroad
company. And the company, finding that
the pass was an expired one, promptly sent
him another.
Kate Sanborn lately wrote in the New
York Independent upon the subject Of
Scientific Pedantry.'' She says that
when a person means grasshopper he
should say grasshopper and not, "Pezo-
lett Zimmerman"
| walt Whitman thinks the time has
come to break down the barriers between
prose and verse. Judging by some con-
tributions received at this Office, the bar.
riers were broken down some time since.
-Rochester Democrat.
The young men who tried to initiate
the gentle sex at the leap-year party in
Washington made great many ridiculous
blunders. One OF them warned his part
ner against squeezing his hand, and she
called him big BOBBY and no girl ut all.
"A little school-gi asked her teacher
what was meant by !" Mrs. Grundy." The
teacher replied that it meant the world. :"
Some days afterward the teacher asked the
geography class to which this little "bud
of promise" belonged, "What is a zone ~
After some hesitation, this little girl
frightened up. and replied, "Iknow; it's
belt around Mrs. Grundy's waist"
"A young woman on Calumet avenue
married, while at Parree two years ago, a
Hungarian Prince whose lortlly titles were
so numerous that it took twenty-five min
utes to be introduced to him, and pro-
nouncing his name was like swallowing
an iron fence. Often as she PAGES her
Baronial Hall, which is nearly twelve feet
square, she blesses the forethought of her
mother, who had her, when at school, take
an extra course of plain sewing.-Caicago
zri6uns.
As the stream gradually wears the
channel deeper in which it runs, and thus
becomes more surely bound to its accus-
toned course; so the currents of the mind
and heart grow more and more restricted
to the course in which habit has taught
them to flow. These intellectual and
moral habits form many peculiarities of
character, and chiefly distinguish one in.
dividual from another. They are, there
fore, of the utmost importance.-S. G..
Goodrich.
The Duchess of Edinburgh is going
to Russia to get away from the Duke, and
the Duke is going to the Nedite rranean
to get away from the Duchess. For sew
eral weeks past they have performed their
additions in separate wash basins, and
eaten their meals at separate tables. The
Queen mother looks on in quiet despair,
merely remarking: my dear children,
you began wrong. You were too affec-
tionate-you shouldn't have used SO much
kindling-wood at the start. "-Brooklyn
argus.
| When a man suddenly jams his head
against beam in the cellar, no one comes
in to sympathize with him. We don't
know that he tells the sorrow to outsiders.
But when woman's line OF clothes come
down in the mud IA clothes line never falls
when there isn't any mud), the whole
ncighborhood is shaken to its very center,
and every woman within quarter of q
mile of the disaster comes rushing in to
condole with the unfortunate sister, and
nothing else is talked of by them for a
week after. This is one thing which
makes so many men down on female SUI
trage.-Uandury Ne,os.
The Vicks5urg boy can stand up with
any other boy in the world against an
| accusation. The other day when Vicks
burg mother discovered sugar on the pam
try shelf, she called to her boy and said
"Some one has been stealing this sugar.
"Is it possible!' he exclaimed, rolling up
| his eyes in astonishment. "Yes, it is pos
sible, and the thief is not far away,
either" "Aint he? Do you suspect
father?" mo, I don't" "Couldn't be
the cat, could it," he inquired, glancing
under the table in search of the feline.
"Cats don't eat sugar, young man ~
"They don'tg' "No, Sit; the thief is q
boy about your size" "He is, Ell? I'd
| Just like to catch him In here Just once!'
s'If the sugar is disturbed again." she
said, as she covered the box, II know Of
boy who will get his jacket busted"
"That's bully! wish you would let me
STAY out of school so as to see you catch
| and maui him" And he went out to de.
YOUR the other Jumps Vicksburg Herald.
| How He Got 6 Bounced
| A q nour1v.on ro nod c0,nyno rci al rovo1oy