Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1876-09-14
WHAT SMITHS BOY SAID.

a family named Smith has recently
moved 10 oGermantown, and Mr.. Browns $
boy, on Saturday, leaned over the fence
and gave to our reporter his impressions
Of Mr.. Smiths boy, a lad about four
teen years old:
Yes, me and him are right acquaint-
cd now; he knows more'n ! do, and
he's had more experience. Bill says
his father used to be a robber tSmith,
by the way, is a deacon in the Presby-
terian Church, and very excellent
lawyer, and he has $4,000, 900 in
gold buried in his cellar, along with a
whole lot OF human bones, people he's
killed. And he says that his father is
a conjurer, and that he makes all the
earthquakes that happen anywhere in
the.worid. The old manlI come home
at night, after there's been an earth
quake, all covered with sweat, and so
tired he kin hardly stand; Bill says it's
such hard work.
And Bill tole me that once when a
man came around there trying to sell
lightning rods, his father got mad and
ct him, ct him right up, and he takes
bites out of everybody he comes acrost.
That's what Bill tells ne. That's
all | know about it. And he tole me
that once he used to have dog, one of
these little kind Of dogs, and he was fly
ing his kite, and just for fun he tied the
kite-string onto the dogs tail. And
then the wind struck her and the dog
went boomin' down the street, with his
hind legs in the air for about mile,
when the kite all Of sudden began to
go uE, and in about fifteen minutes the
dog was fifteen miles high, and com.
manding view Of California, and
Egypt, and Oshkosh, | think Bill said.
He came down anyhow, | know, in
Brazil, and Bill said he swum home all
the way in the Atlantic ocean, and when
he landed his legs were all nibbled of
by sharks.
wish father'd buy me dog, SOS
] could send him up that way. But I
never have no luck. Bill said that
where they used to live he went out on
the roof one day to ny his kite, and he
sat on top of the chimbly 10 give her
plenty of room, and while he was sit
ting there thinking about nothing, the
old man put keg of powder down be-
low in the fireplace to clean the SCOT
out of the chimbly. And when he
touched her off Bill was b!owed over
agin the Baptist Church steeple, and he
landed on the weather cock with his pants
torn. and they couldn't get him down
for three days. so he hung there, going
round and round with the wind, and he
lived by eating crows that came and sat
on him, because they thought he was
made of sheet iron and put up there on
purpose.
" He's had more fun than enough
He was telling me the other day about
sausage-stuffer his brother invented.
II was kinder machine that worked
with treadle: and Bill said the way
they did in the fall was to fix il on the
hogs back, and then the hog'd work
the tIeadle and keep on running it up
and down until the machine cut the hog
all up fine and showed the meat into the
skins. Bill said his brother called it
Every Hog His Own Stutier.' and it
worked splendid. But I do know
Pears TO mes if there couldn' { be- no
machine like that. But anyway Bill
said 50.
" And he told me about an uncle Of
his in Australia who was ct by big
oyster once, and when he got inside he
staid there until he'd ct the oyster
Then he split the shell open and took
half one for boat, and he sailed along
until he met sea-serpent and he killed
IT and drawed of its skin, and when he
got home he sold il to an engine COM
panv for a hose, for sac, 200, to put out
fires with. Ball said that was actually
so. because he could show me a man
who used to belong to the engine cosy-
Pany. wish father'd let me 90 and
find sea serpent like that: but he don (
let me have no chance TO distinguish
myself:
Bill was saying only yesterday that
the Indians caught him once and drove
eleven railroad spikes through his stom-
ach, and cut of his scalp, and never
hurt him bit. He said he got away
by the daughter Of chief sneaking him
out Of the wigwam and lending him q
horse. Bill says she was in love with
him, and when l asked him to let me
see the holes where they drove in them
spikes, he said he daresn't take off his
clothes or he'd bleed to death. He
said his own father didn't know it, be-
cause Bill was afraid il might worry the
old man.
And Bill .ole me they wasn't GO