The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-03-23
WHOLE NO. 1905.


!
D When can lamp be said 10 be In .
, bad iemPer1 When u Is put out
What keeps Lent the longest and
bost1 Money! Evening Telegram
How TO make a good thing iAst-maks
everything else frst-[N. y. Com. Ad.
vertiser.
Belknap did not graduate at West
Point
Belknap was a subtle man. but Marsh
was q sutler.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
How 10 spell Fort Sill-with largcss.
Mr. Thomas Hughes will contribute
sketch Of old time English country life
10 Lippineott's Magazine.
An author says that ono Of the uses Of
Adversity is 10 bring us out That is
\ true, particularly al the knees and 81.
bows
IL was Archbishop whatoly who an.
nounced that Noah's ark was made of
gopher wood, while Joan Of Arc wAa maid
I Of Orleans
John Linger aud Joseph Halt are 10
walk a match AZ Savannah We don't
see how such men can make good time
-IDetroit Free Press.
Mother-"Charlotte. how do you like
your new teacherT Charlotts-"O,
she's q splendid teacher. She don't care
whether We know our lessons OF not
Ifa young lady wishes q young gentle
ma N. l. kNW LaN ak aHa
mention7 No Spectator. no Observer.
but as many Times az you please.
The Norristown CPa.) Herald says A
Constant Render asks us why lamps
explode1' We can't tell. unless Il IL bs.
cause he negleets 10 tic strings Ground
them.
A fashionable young lady OF Chicago
was heard 10 remark that she hadn't got
anything new this winter. and didn't en-.
pect 10 get much until after father
fails"
They tell Of New Jersey man who
got a billiard ball In his mouth and
couldn't get Il out Do they play bill.
iArds with foot balls in New Jersey
Detroit Free Press
Mr.. Blackboard has been arrested In
North Carolina for not paying his debts.
Why don't his creditors take some chalk
and draw on him3-[N. Y. Com. Adver-
tiser.
There viii be some charming reunions
during the Centennial. but We doubt "
any will exceed in interest the meeting
Of the Portu-gc(e)se and the Michigan.
ders.-[ Philada. Chronicle.
Alta social hop In Anderson county.
Ky. recently. two gentlemen and two
ladies were shot and killed. There 10
such a thing. IL will be observed. a. being
too Internally sociable.-r Rochester Dem.
ocrat
Old Sam B-.a carpenter Of Tren.
ton. was engaged 10 build a fence. and
was consulted as 10 the best material for
posts Locust. madam, locust the
darncd stuff viii last life time I've
tried um twice
IL Is said that the old Romans also
loved Office. but they never had the feel
ing which an American constable has
never felt that their shoulders carried
over half the burden Of government
Detroit Free Press.
A Nevada sheep man. who bad tried
aud succeeded with sheep. said. sheep
are better than a government bond you
can tear of q coupon every six months
half as big as the bond. and the bond is
left as big as IL was"
"Sho must be crazy 10 try 10 sing that"
was remarked Of an avenue belle at the
piano at party the other night "Ah,
you don't believe that cracked bellies
make music, then" was the rcsponsc.--
Rochester Express
A bright little three.ycar.old IN Hart.
ford, having become q little mixed be-
tween her religious instruction and her
nursery rhymes. gravely recites. The
Lord Is my shepherd. and lie has lost Ills
sheep. and Ho don't know where 10 ind
them"
The day has gone by. according 10 the
Detroit Free Press. when you can chain
a grssshoppcr 90 an astronomers tels-
scope. and make the star RAEer believe
that be has discovered new breed Of
horses in the moon.
Al collection made AZ charity fair
a lady offered the plate 10 rich man
who was we'll known for bis ntingincaa.
Il have nothing" was the curt reply.
Then take something sir. said the lady
you know am begging for the poor
Mrs. John smiths baby was born on
the Goth ult.. and Mr. John Smith wants
10 10 know on what day his baby viii be
a year old. This question must be con
sidered by our American philosophers
separately from that on the rhyme for
Conkling-[N. y. Herald.
A sunday.school speaker the other
evening used the word Abridgemont. bot
Immediately pulled up and remarked
that aa some Of the younger scholars
might not know its meaning. be would
say that IL was a synonym Of epitome.
The members Of the infant class were
affected 10 toan.-l Norwich Bulletin.
A North Carolina negro thought he
could outrun a locomotive tho other day
on the Air Line road. and when he
| picked himself up after being thrown
twenty feet and landing on his bead, he
said yer don't ketch dis yer chile
doin dat agin. It's right smart won
der I didn't tear desc britchcs clean OF
Frank Beard. tho artist, while at din.
I ner recently. was told Of a man in Mas
sau street with three hands. How ia
Y thatT' asked Beard. Hes got little
I behind hand" was the reply. You are
/ a more extraordinary man. was the re-
ply. "for you have two heads; you have
head Of your own, and you've got
I ahead OF me
when you 20 20 a theatair. where .
fussy ushair. with centrally parted hair,
and flowers in coat COLLAR. seats you In .
chair, which belongs 20 anothair. who
comes late In great anFair. and with eyes
Of lurid CLAIR. calls you an intrudAir rush
a. sha u.anawafr aul after q ~uahfnv