The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-07-04
Seqse and Mo,,srtrse.

$erse and Muilsrttse.
What is the difference between
spendthrift and q pillow! One is bard
up and the other is soft down. .tzsFa5
A Chinaman spoke all the English he
knew in Indianapolis the other day, and
was ined 81 for profanity Graphic;
While one hymn book is good enough
fpr,lovers it takes two, to supply them
with music after they are married. Ne,o
York Herald, ia ~ inf aaesH39
Eight hundred lightning rods have
been ordered for the Vatican and the
agent who took the order says II will
do Vatican to give satisfaction" -
q man being asked, as he lay summing
himself on. the grass, what was the
height OF bis ambition, replied, r'Fo
marryla rich widow with bad cough."1
Irascible Gent (to waiter -"rhey say
tAsre's nothing like leather, don't they r
sYes, sir.'' ssThen IT'S a lie, for this
steak So waiter eyaporates
rs the moon made Of green cheese,
y0hngster r mo, sir, certainly not,
sHoF do you prove that r. s.Oh, easy,
-the moon was made before the cows. z
There may not be- gold, but there's no,
question about the quantity OF lead in
the Black Hills Every Indian has a
gun fnIl of it, and isn't stingy.-St.s
Louis Republican. s las ssl1Qta
There are only two gallons of whisky
per year manufactured for each inhahi-
tant Of the United States, and It is a
clear case that somebody's got to go
without Cincinnati Times. s,sF
Professor of astronomy (having CALI
e,i the name of q stadent who has been
absent from several recitations) lis
ca sick p. Classmate [sotto voce) T.
sYes, sick Of astronomy p a1a,s ss
sThat's what / call finished Sermon z
remarked man as he was coming out
Cf church /" Yes, finished at last" re.
piled his neighbor, ssthough began to
think it would never be" qss .,,ss -, -, -
- Z -. e. ~ T
During the session of a County Court
Id the interior. witness was asked If he
WAS not husbandman, when he cody
replied, amidst the laughter Of the court,
sNo, sir; Use not married. " "ss'. sS.., .'s i
There is still another serious objection
to silver money. A man can't stand on
his head without the "quarters' and
.shalvesp rolling out Of his pockets.
Women can't either, unless they have
lids on their pockets. t9 R.,ais 'ea
The st Louis Republican announces
that "Mr. Kindling, of Milwaukee, has
cut stick for another world" 1t is easy
70 say that Kindling wood burn we'll
but it is to be hoped he will not Nor
risttsDs Herald. 4 '9 iss..
A little boy, q few days since, while
coming down stairs, was cautioned by
his mother not to lose his balance, His
question which followed was puzzler
ssMother, If should lose my balance
where would itgo TOP s.'s go
aWoman," said the fat man or tii,
cracker barrel, refectively, "woman Il
like boil. When another man has he
We laugh at him; when we have he
Curself we cherish and protect her.
Horscich Bulletin. 15s4 .'Eae
Chemists say there is more strength
n buttermilk than in brandy, but W
dopt!belieye it, as q gallon of butter
milk cannot throw even q child, while
pint Of brandy can foor an able ,bodie'
man quicker'n scat! s & II
Il Is said now that it is not the thin
10 makeia long CALI on lady, and I
.obviate any danger of their staying TO
late, most; Of our conscientious youn
men arrange with the milkman to rap Q
che parlor window mornings when |
c5mes around.
Gentlemen,s pantaloons are made
vide this. year, that man, when be
aroused by the alarm of fire at midnigt
Is liable, 10 his haste and the dark,
get both limbs in one leg and run all Il
way to the Ere before he discovers th
ais trousers are only half occupied.
The trouble between husbands al
wives too often, is, that they do not Q
derstand each other-do not compl
bend each others sensibilities. A m
can't sis with his hoofs planted AGAR
the back OF hiss wife's chair witho
knocking some of the enamel off
romance Of married life.
a sciensist afirms that eventually,
oar globe contracts, there will be Of
thirteen days in the. year. It will
yoily Ia have Fourth Of July, Christm
Wsshington's Birthday, and all the r
Of the holidays IN one week, and be q
to remind creditors who come nosi
sround that Legal holidays must be
fpected. sst $50 s.sts 5
An uptown man who went home I
night recently, in q demoralized ST.
sncceeded In, getting to bed with
awakening bis wife and betraying
condition, bat be found it hard to expl
Why . whole tumblerful Of woodcn.too
picks had been scratched and broken
the wall beneath the gas-light in his b
room. ~ ~
The announcement that the five g
Powers Of Europe have concluded
let the Porte and its recalcitrant subjt
settle theirIown affairs, is confess
Of the utter futility of diplomatic
tempts to compose the difficulties of
Empire. So the war will go on and
b likely to last all summer.