Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-12-06
From the Sunday Mercury.
MY COUSINS PLOT.
BY H. G.. WILLIS.

BY II. u. WILLIS.
"You are big goose; there, now"
And my little cousin Jessie's face
glowed with an unwonted expression Of
anger. / say unwonted, because she
was generally one of the best natured
little creatures IL the world.
"My dear cousin" said |, as blandly
IS possible, and assuming, as l spoke,
highly philosophical ARMY dear
cousin, it is pity you were not born
forty years earlier"
And why SO, pray?"
because then you might have had
children of your own, to tyrannize
over, and | should have been spared
your more than grandmotherly advice
and espionage. [ fancy that [ have
arrived at an age when | no longer re-
quire the parental, maternal, nor cous-
1nal rule to keep me from going
astray, and l see no reason, or rather
no excuse, for the interposition of your
wisdom-mighty as it undoubtedly is
In my private affairs"
"I don't care whether it is any of
my business or motif you marry that
girl, I'll never speak to you again"
"Won't your Pm sorry to hear it.
Miss Ideia Vaughn is a young lady of
great responsibility. Her family is un-
exceptionable; her education is COM
pIete-a great deal better than yours,
my dear-and she mas some wealth.
These are worldly considerations, but
they should be satisfactory to my
friends. For the rest, she has an afec-
tionate disposition"
An affectionate humbug."
"a sympathetic heart"
eyes; she carries her tears in her
Observation-Disclosures, and applies them
when required"
sShe has q beautiful countenance-"
"What an imagination you are gifted
with
"A fine figure"
ooh, oh, that is going little too far !!
She is vertically a bone nothing but a
bone; and ! must say, a very lllshaped
bone at that"
Miss Jessie, l protest against any
such abuse of a person whom [ esteem,
[ have told you that have offered my
self to her, and that cherish greater
regard for her than for any other young
lady I ever saw. These facts should
insure her a due degree of respect
from my friends and relatives"
"Due degree Of nonsense !! | tell
you, cousin, you are ninny, and that
gul-no, that spinster- no more fit to
be your wife than she is to talk COM
mon sense"
az have used my own Judgment In
proposing marriage to her, and shall
continue to do So"
"You never shall marry her while
live
"You can't help it,"
You shall see Z"
And my little cousin Jessie shook her
dounces and ribbons like small but
well feathered bird, and sailed out of
the room In a tempest of silk and
crinoline.
I must, of course, tell my readers
what Miss Idelia Vaug hn was like, after
introducing her as my intended bride.
10 do so fairly, shall give both sides
of the picture-my own and that of my
cousin Jessie.
NV idea of Miss Vaughn was, that
she was tall, elegant young lady, with
q severely classical face, rich, auburn
ringlets, graceful and dignifed Car
riage, and an impression of poetry and
refinement on her features.
My cousin Jessie said that she was 8
bean-poley, inelegant old maid, with q
severely homely face. thin, molasses-
-eoIored stringlets, a mincing and affect
ed carriage, and an expression of Laura
Matilda sentimentality on her features.
The reader will see that we differed.
L became infatuated with Miss
Vaughn, from reading three poems she
published In country paper; one OF
which, commencing:
"My sad soul sits in sable sheen;
The Orphic fire consumes my heart !"
betrayed such depth of feeling and sor-
row, that I fell in love with the un-
K nown writer. and my desire to know,
sympathize with, and console her, pro
cured an interview, through the good
nature of the country editor, and made
such fine Byronic speeches to her, that
she returned my affection, almost as
jersey jockeys swap horses" onsight,
4,nseen."
NV little Jessie and were cor.fdents.
We told each other everything. If ]
went to a supper and brought away too
much cham pagne under my waistcoat,
/ freely confessed it to Jessie. If she
bad shown too much preference to
xo~rr,,od afr0 moor nd