American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1876-03-11
A Wife Who EndeayOred to
Keep Posted.

Mr. Spike, of Detroit, regards the
modern system of school education as
abominable. BIr. Spikes head is level
about that Mr.. Spike hasn't any chill
dren, and finding that his wife was drift
ing away from the good old educational
ideas OF twenty years ago, he started
Come to reflect, he remembered that
each evenings conversation consisted
of gossip about pull-back dresses, Sara
toga knots, church socials and local
scandals, and one morning he said to
her:
"Maria, take the daily paper and
post yourself. Let this eternal gossip
go by default and store your mind with
knowledge of the great events of the
PERIOD
She began to stare. Mrs. Spike is a
good woman and dutiful wife, and she
wanted to do just what Mr.. Spike
thought best. He let her alone a day
or two and then asked:
"Well, Maria, who are the opposing
parties in Spain?''
"Boss Tweed and Clara Louise KEEL
logg!" was the prompt reply.
"Hum!'' he said as he rubbed his
hands; "been reading the papers, 1
see.n
Yes. I've been trying to post my
SELF" she answered.
"Who are the Carlists?' he grimly
asked.
"Less see?" she unused "they haven't
any thing to do with the Centennial,
have theyP"
"Maria, are you fool?" he bluntly
asked.
She began to cry and he went
down town. 1t was plain to her that
she had made mistake, and she deter
mined to do better. She froze right to
the daily paper for the next three days,
and when he began to question her again
she was ready for him.
s'Maria,'' he asked, "what about the
Beecher scandalP''
''Mr. Bowen has come out against
Beecher,' she replied.
ssThat's it-that's business!'' he ex-
claimed. ssWhat about the Suez Canal P"
"The English have purchased a con-
trolling interest,"
Correct, noble woman! Now you
are getting to be somebody-now you
show common sense! Now, Maria, what
is the condition of Mexico at the present
time?''
"No sleighing there" she proudly
answered.
His countenance fell, and seeing the
change, she tried to set matters right
by adding:
"The 'tater bug is raising Cain down
there!''
The look he gave her nearly broke
her heart, and for long time she look
ed at the left leg of the coal stove while
he read pamphlet containing the
biography of Victoria Woodruff. She
finally asked:
ssThe tunnel under the Straits of Do
yer will be a great enterprise, won't it ?"
There-that's sense" he replied,
Frightening up again.
"And they've had an unusually cold
winter in France,'' she observed.
''That's correct! Now think you
know something!"
She felt elated with his praise, and
boldly inquired:
"How did that Mckenzie elopement
case come out?''
"Now you know something-now
you are worthy of the name of Spike!"
he exclaimed.
"Well, Babcock ought to be ashamed
of himself to run away with another
mans wife!" continued Mrs. Spike.
Spike wilted.
"That is, Joyce and Mckee can't be
convicted of robbing the Northampton
Bank, can they?" she asked.
He groaned.
ell mean the Alfonsoists didn't
didn't-they weren't to blame for
crooked whisky, were they?"
Spike went out and leaned over his
gate and looked at the weather. When
a neighbor came along and asked him
if he thought it was going to rain, he
replied:
"No, blast you! It's going to snow
seventeen feet deep. Free Press.