The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1876-09-09
VARIETIES.

York police force.
When you bury anmOsity, never
mind putting up tombstone.
When you see young goat asleep,
can you call 1t a case of kidnapping ?
An Atlanta man had a lady arrested
for punching him with her parasol.
A woman in Missouri is not consid>
cred an old maid until she is thirty one.
" think must look over it," as the
horse said to the gate of the clover.
field.
Girls are not liked as walters at sum-
mer resort hotels especially by the lady
guests.
Four million barrels of -four are re-
quired to feed the people of New York
for one year.
Vineland, N j., recently voted No
license" by majority of $50 in total
vote of ,030
" Father, is parrot that talks a
dumb animal ?" F" My dear, children
should not talk while they are eating"
There is going on in California, this
centennial year, more construction of
railroads than in any previous period
of the States history.
A patient recently complained to his
physician that he had stuffed him so
much with drugs that he was sick a
long tirne after he got well.
A Shelby (Ky.) man sent his water
melons to market in hearse. Water
melancholy sight it must have been.
DonA l.. Al.
giving outa wholesome fragrancy but
revere is the same flower, when rank,
and running to seed.
Speaking of railroads, IL may be re-
marked that they are now built of three
gauges, namely Broad gauge, barrow
gauge and mortgage.
DR.. Hammond, of New York, at one
time SergeOn-G General Of the army, is
said to have an income of 100000
year from his medical practice.
I Always guess even" on a copper.
It may turn up odd for while, bat we
have the authority of the poet for it that
time at last makes all things even.
The system of injecting ammonia in
to the veins as a cure for snakebite3 is
said to be coming into general use in
| Australia, where it has saved many
| lives.
In New York the acme of laziness
has been reached, for there sun UNI
brelias are made to BE- fastened to the
back instead of being carried in the hand
are offered for sale.
When the war of the Revolution be
! gan there WAS but one man in MasSa-
chusetts who was worth more than
thirty thousand dollars there are now
forty five worth more than a IilliOn.
A Franklin County (Mass) husba nd
lately promised his dying wife he would
not marry again until the children were
large enough to fight for their rights
against a step mother.
Potato bugs are reishcd by trout.
Every farmer with proper regard for
his fields should Immediately turn a few
! thousand trout loose on his premises.
Speckled ones are the best.
The usual number OF matrimor ial
engagements between cadets aud very
young ladies' are reported from West
Point. The engagements usually last
six weeks, and end in what children
call big crying SPELL"
There are seven ex,Governors of
New York now living The ex. Gov.
ernoIs are Hamilton Fish, Horatio Sey-
mOur, Myron II. Clark, Edwin ID.
Morgan, Reuben E. Fenton, John T.
Hoffman and John A. Dix.
In divorce case now before the court.
In New York the original cause OF d iii.
Guilty between the parties appeared tc
be that the wife demonstrated toe
strongly with her husband for eating
green raspberries and wanting chicken
for dinner.
" john" said dOting parent to hel
gOrmandizing son, '''do you really think
you can eat the whole of that pudding
with impunity ?" 81 don't know, ma,
! replied young hopeful, - but guess
/ can with a spoon"
-Higgledy piggledy, here we lie,
, Pnlleo and plcke0 and put in pie.
: Divide Us III half and Pm sure YOU will wOnde
To see what figure we make when asunder
r NY Hrot Is snapplsh anO snarllng an h0wIlng
M second Is busy and active ana proWling
I BuG hIgg edy, piggledy, here we lie
Pulled ana picKed, and put IN q PIE.
. Currants tcur-ants.(
= Four legged men seem to exist in tn,
interior of the State, for the York Dali.
i, tells Of man in York County, near tn
Maryland line, who fell IN front of
moving machine when it was in motion
|, and had " both hind legs painfully cut
|, one OF them so bad that it will reQuir
: amputation. DOB ua
, A good joke is going the rounds o
: the western part of this State at the ex
. pense of the erudite editor of one of tn
;. Michigan dailies, who, on discovering
= fire, rushed out into the street shouting
Y C0ntlagTatiOD coDtiagratlOn ! | con
d fiagratiOn III Approximate hither wit
o the implements of deluge and extin
guish this combustion"
= A man who was not clever at conuu
d drums, ia attempting TO get of one at
Il tea party at his own house the Othe
d evening, became exceedingly mixed
y He intended TO ask the old question
4 Z" Why is woman live ivy 2" the ia
/ millar but gallant answer to which |,
d Because, the more you're ruined tn
Il closer she clings." But he put it, "Wh
|. l. ivy IKE woman ?" which none {
u the ladies could tell, and so the un ortr
10 nate man told them himself that 1t wa