The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1876-12-20
acknowledgement.
THE CONUNDRUM FIEND.
anye You Met the Charming Fell
low?

Of sweet potato.
over and keep Us alive continued hiS
iuir wife, passing up her plate to be
aWho in the mischiers Bully Birdsell ?
doctor, resurrectionist, or what ?" lie
asked, boiling his potato with an effort,
and carving her Of ration. +
"DeSr me, some folks are gettin' too
smart to live long," snapped his Spinster
aunt, in an calculated voice.
you'll live 10 a green old age II you
wait for smartuess TO kill you, that's one
hing CERTAIN he retorted, going back to
his potato. .
"Why, Billy Bird.ellis just one Of the
incest young men you ever met in your
lie, 40 full OF fun and such good COM
pAny, p exclaimed Mr.. Peewit, anxious to
preserve peace.
Cant recollect that l ever heard OF
aim before" he said, thoughtfnlly.
"Msb'be the man hasn't right TO exist
si.hout your serene hlghuess being made
aware ot the fact said hitmaiden amt,
.lrcastically.
"lf only had the say how long some
Old maids / am acquainted with should
exist, they'd have to 80 out shopping for
shroud within the next twenty minutes,
OF else leave the job to some one that sur.
rived them" replied PeeWit, helping HIM.
tlt to another piece meat and cutting
tup as lit was an enemy. iIlL O.
Nothing more was said then, and the
evening brought the BurdOcks, and later
On the society lion, Billy BirdselI.
"Why, he ain't built right for lion or
4Seuius," whispered Peewit to his friend
Birdock, on the young mans entrance;
ind, quaint and odd as the remark was,
it went asslraight to the mark as Agreed
more bullet.
Billy Birdsell was very short and very
stout, with large bullet.shaped hsad,
apparently no neck, considerable eyes
lnd mouth, and altogether strong re.
.emblance 10 IN enormous bull-frog.
"Mr. Burdock and myself were Just
discussing the prospects OF European
var a. you came, f" observed Peewit, when
the young man had shaken hands all
round and gigsled himself nearly into
commissions. fI 5f
ayes, | got up little thing on that.
Why Is the European war like Thanks.
giving DayT he asked chuCkling to him.
eli and looking snpremely idiotic.
I'm sure don't know, sir" replied
PseWit, looking at the young man 10 his
most icy manner. ave were discussing
itiron practicable and sensible"
Don't give itup so easy. IT'S real
coed one; made Il up myself" inter.
rap,ed Birdsell, grinning worse than a
rubber baby. ''''', ~
Il never guess at comndrums," re.
altked Peewit, sternly, and turning to
BardOck he continued "AA regards that
announcement that Turkey would be
compelled to accept the conference
"l'll give you three guesses at twill
,ouT broke In Birdsell again.
NO, sir; you must excuse me" replied
Ptevit, inpAtisntly. a,-
You try it then, Mr.. Shnttlecock, }" he
aid, addressing Burdock.
The ladies' Iiltered; BurloGk glared,
o4! nsde him no reply, and he was soon
"a his element, Cycling and talking to
tie former. l
Turkey, you see, In my opinion" ex.
Pliined Peewit, twas put forward simply
to make an objection, that England might
recover ground lost through a blunder,
lnl-" ..r..r.
We'll, II you all giveit up, Ill tell you.
Ia because it will make away with a
great deal Of Turkey. See the point!
Ee' he, he Pretty good, amt il? ques-
TONED Birdsell, looming up TO the front
iaghter.
Thank Heaven, sgot his Joke of at
ht Nowheli sib'ide," thought Peewit.
Did you get on to Philadelphia 10 see
~ closing ceremonies Of the Centennial,
NJ. BIrdselI" inquired Mrs. Peewit,
Nom; couldn't get away. Oh! can
!SU tell me why the Centennial was like
Moderately. -
"0s, please don't ask mel never
could guess anything in all my life," re.
pied Mrs.. peewit, Eervously.
You know it, don't your he asked,
IppesA!ing to PesWit, who was deep in an
explanation to Burdoek, as to the effect
european war would have upon com.
1'tce and business in this country.
AnOE vhAtf' he asked, irritably.
d. "a, didn't you hear y @ked young
Ne'ieIl smiling all the way from one
a. to the other. "well, I was asking
~ Sn PssWit Why the Centennial was like
Why was ftdleatieka!' commenced
HtIiL flushing up.
Isnltnnlal, you mean, mot fiddle
"SS', sotreetsdths youpg man. y
centennial grandmother "a as
'le any time tackle ra.tlesnake as q
s'aun9'nn" exclaimed Pewitt, flushing
'p1nd getting excited.
=, ways A conuudrum like a lady!
ssstss an easy one for you; anybody
SaH guess that" said youug. Birdsell
%'y a9BGng himself with the idea o.
=. .S SEn brilliancy.
ubJ,,. "SSuIHkAuuS SAT! uetegt con
S -aI,tIan' and wouldn't guess one il
' sTt said PseWit, very much excited.
m t ,tS you Try it shuttlecoek, Will,
~ y; !alnk Otan easy one for him" saic
'' NY turning to Burdock.
~ name is Burdock, no. Shuttle
"s 81, 'Aitly capped the Individual.
Iis. "a i" it, Well, why is shuttiecocl
,,o WI! in the d-lcan't you have sens.
%oafa to talk about something slseF p ID
o,I ppat think l ever heard that one be
WV, a. SaVe to give itup. What's he an
NJ H.. inquired Blrdsell. 49, ''' -
.1 Muaap endurance could stand /. n
Sosi e. PseVis grolued aloud she Too .
, -" y the buttOn.hole, led him into II
NY, handed him bis hat, Ia and ' Te InSS "a
E.o. gently kicked him down he fror
"a, Ta = Ii! around whenever you think {
y, more conuadsuns, a. / Am Toina :
my 2! boots halt-soled, and keep sels
"1aaNef them with. - ~S'"