The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-03-02
Wit and HumOr.

1nOyGZf5S.
Wit and HumOr.
GooD manners are part of good
morality.
A TIGHT squeeze-One topper hugging
another.
A BOWL ED operation Eating an oys-
ter stew.
DOMESTIC love and happiness hang on
series of well directed trifies.
AN old theater- goer says /" IF crying
babies had any sense, they never would
take their mothers to matinees.
To Us men, leap-year balls are highly
enjoyable, for it is so nice to Ftshake our
foot while the ladies tfoot the shake. -
NATURE takes a plain human face and
sets sweet thoughts and kindly impulses
at work upon it, and it grows into lofty
beauty.
AN old lady recently directed the at
tention of her husband to pair of twins,
remarking, as she did so, s How much
these two children do look alike, espe-
cially the one THIS way p
A NEGRO, down in Louisiana, was
hauled up for stealing bacon, and put in
as defense that he was told by his po-
Iitical friends that now, as he had the
right to vote, he must take "sides %
somehow.
"WHAT can I do to make you love me
more 2" asked youth of his girl, the
other evening. sBuy me ring, stop
eating onions, and throw your shoulders
back when you walk" was the immediate
reply.
CHANGING is no sin, says an Ohio
clergyman. It's the fights among the
boys on the way home which cast an
evil shadow over what would otherwise
be everywhere known as an innocent
amusement"
ALI reverence for the sacred name of
woman seems to be fading from the land.
Women correspondents In Washington
who write ball and party gossip are now
spoken of as "persons who get their
chicken salad for nothing" Shame
THE author of the following, Du-
buque man, to his first born, is still at
large:
Welcome, little teenie-weenie,
We've Leen looking for you, some;
With her bluey, tr1ey Genie.
Faith, and amt we glad she's come ?
o the little piggie-Wiggie!
Bless her, that it's just no niggle!
Sucking pucky-wuckey thumb"
A BUSINESS man of this city, who had
some excrescences removed from his feet
by local corn doctor, about a year ago,
called at his Office again few days ago
to have a bunion treated. You are
not the person who was here year
ago 60 said the patient. "No," respond
ed the chiropodist, 'sthat was my broth
err els he still in the business ?"
INQUIRED the caller. ttNot exactly; he's
not in this branch of the profession; he's
now on the lung !"-Detroit NeaOs.
"LEr's have Centennial information.
al grammar lesson for boys" says the
Philadelphia Press Parse it round
PITTSBURGH Commercial. This chal-
lenge to a contest in verbal jugglery is
herewith respectfully dechned.-ChdcG-
90 Times. We do not wish to en-"gen-
DER strife, but in g case" the "preposi-
ton p succeeds, won't it be singular?"
-MarQuette Journal. In conjunction
with all sensible persons, we express our
intense disgust in this article. Detroit
Post.
A VESSEL having become water-logged
from terrific gale, the crew were com
PEELED to take to the boats. After drift
ing for day and night, as the dawn
was breaking the watch perceived yes
sci at great distance. GA sail a sail =
he cried, with the full force of his lungs,
effectually arousing all his mates except
an old Jew, who still kept his eyes closed
and muttered, discorsolately: "Why,
plesh my soul, Isaac and me haven't got
catalogue"
KATE FIELD recalls fresh incident of
Artemus Wards visit to London. He
gave children's party, to which one OF
John Bright's sons was invited, and from
which the youth returned aglow with de-
light. "Oh, papa, exclaimed the little
Bright, when asked by the great Bright
whether he had enjoyed himself, T" in
deed I did, and Mr.. Browne gave me
such nice name for yoll, papa !" 'sWhat
was that 2" inquired the father. 'tWny,
he asked me how that gay and festive
cuss, the Governor, was ]" replied the
child.