Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1876-02-03
zach" CHANDELIERS RED FACE.

"'ZACH'' CHANDLER'S RED FACE.
Creighton the Washington correspond.
emit of the Danbury Neses, writes: Per.
haps you would like to know something OF
Zach" Chandler. You and have heard
and read great deal about him, and It
is time we know something Of him. He
is great big man, over six feet high,
and about 60 years old. He and Horace
Greeley was born within a.cat.call Ct each
other, and still no single man did AZ much
IS Zach Chandler to defeat the philoso.
pher for the Presidency. He has 1um.
boring, heavy walk, Of certain stride and
steady gait. He carries an alternate
white and red face in front and high, 4
cane in one hand and bundle of papers
in the other. He never walks for pleas
ure. He is always on business. He
slips every eight minutes always to the
left. seldom straight. and with the same
regularity that punctuates his every &C.
ton. High and in front, like figure.
head on great ship, he carries his great,
broad head and variegated face. On q
cold day hisc ountenance is almost like the
red glare Of q locomotive headlight.
Ninety mine men who pass him on frosty
morning make ninety.nine remarks,
freightcd with the information that "Old
Zach had no bitters." But, oh Lord,
how this world is given to lying! This
red face has history, this crooked spit
ting has reason, and will give you both.
It is now seventeen years since Zacha
riah Chandler, being remarkably success
full, in business, built fer his family
new and elegant house in Detroit.
When nearly finished he moved into it.
On the first evening Immediately after
the gas was turned on and lit, the smell
Of the escaping gas aroused the family
and servants, and search Was made for
the leak. The daughter, now Mrs. Hale,
then child, with lighted candle, de.
tected it in closet back Of the parlor.
The father knowing the danger Of IN ex'
plosion, hurried to tho cloect with SER
want, took the candle from the daughters
hands, and shielded her just in time to
receive the full blast himself burning
his head, neck, and hands almost to =
crisp. The nose, ears, eyes, lips, and flesh
of the face were SO completely cooked
and murnured through his llistered lips:
''Bring on your cannibals. I'm cooked. -
A physician was Immediately sent tor,
who, after few moments examination,
shook his head in the NEST unhopeful
manner. With fortitude which char.
acterizes Mr.. Chandler to this day, he
submitted to the examination, and ut the
close demanded to know the worst. The
physician, DR.. Clark, wisely endeavored
to postpone the giving ofhis opinion un.
til the next day; but Mr. Chandler insist.
ing, the Doctor reluctantly answered his
questions.
"Well, Doctor, my nose feels bad. How
about it - Il
"Mr, Chandler, you'lllosc your nose. y
"And my ears, l suppose, tool
II am sorry to say, yes; they are
completely cooked through
MY forehead. How about that!''
swell don't see how the skin will
ever grow there again."
MY lips?"
1.-The upper lip. Mr., Chandler, I shall
have to take completely off,"
THAT'S bad for man to lose his upper
lip. Won't tho lower one do?"
Il am sorry to say l shall have to re-
move a portion Of that also.
"Eh! Well 60 on"
"There, that will do. I'll know better
in the morning"
"You can't leave me until ] know all
Go on. doctor, anything else!"
The doctor hesitated.
"Go on doctor. My eyes!"
"Your evcs?''
"Ycs. Go on
"Mr. Chandler, you will lose the sigh
Of both eyes,
"That's enough. doctor you can e
now.'
| Nearly q year passed before Zachsriaf
Chandler was seen on the streets Of De
troit again. No one could recogniz,
him except by his voice and his immens,
frame. Ills face once round, full, ant
muscular, was shriveled and muscleless
His heavy jaw, indicative Of his irmnes'
Of purpose, was without shred of flesh
And, as he remarked himself, HE VA!
the most thin.skinned man in the Who'll,
Northwest"
| Such is the history and reason Of hi!
red face and crooked splitting, which TOT
many Anticipated journalists stamp a!
the outward and visible sign of = spirit
ual awakening inside. Such is the his
tory Of face which DISCUSSES the man o
whose entrance to the cabinet you al
howled like Dervishes-a face only sayet
by the very incest skill Of surgery-s
face wearing sad change, Redeemed ant
muscleless. incurred to save the pet of tn.
household.
You have never seen Zach Chandler de
ny anything that the newspapers nigh
say of him, and many unbearable thing
have they been. When his appointment
to the portfolio Of the Interior Depart
ment was announced, all Scoldom yellet
with its forty:jackass power. The Nev
York Times, an administration paper
with its usual weak smartness, said il
didn't know what ''he was good for un
less to sit up with nights" Every stat
on every New York Journal WAS search
ing for its meanest and most sarcastic
writer, that something worthy of the &C
casion and man might be said. The lead
ers on his appointment reekcd with tn
slimiest adjectives, but were as free frou
facts Is Philadelphia medical diploma
A reaction has, however, taken place
and instead of the senseless ridicule Their
is shamed silence or open condemnation
I predict that Zach Chandler viii max
the best Secretary of the Interior that tn
country has had since the foundation q
the government.
| UTILIZATION OF C0BWEBS.
Cobwebs have been applied to variou
uses. The delicate cross.hairs in tn
telescope Of surveying instruments Or
fine webs taken from spiders, specie
that are specially selected for their pro
duction Of IN excellent quality of thi
material. The spider, when caught,
made to spin his thread by tossin
him from hand to hand, in case he isl
disposed to furnish the article, the en-
is attached to = piece Of wire which
doubled into two PAL allel lengths, tn
distance apart exceeding little tn
diameter fthe instrument. As the spide
hangs and descends from this. the web
wound upon it by turning the wiz
around. The coils are then gummcd I
| ~ A p =