The Osceola times., 1876-10-07
FACTS AND FANCIES.

| ill morals or has no more sense ana un-
derstanding than child.
AN act of parliament has just been
printed which enacts that under the
medical act qualifications for registra-
ticn shall be granted irrespective Of SEX.
"DEAL me three CT kindly. Cheer
my young heart. I'll follow thee blind.ly,
wherever thou heait," is the way poker
player puts 1t.
IT is good and safe rule to soiourn in
every place as though you meant 10
spend your life there, never emitting an
opportunity of doing kindness, Of
speaking true word, or making friend.
A pEBATER severely questioned = 70
the reason of his not paying just debt
replied, "solomon was very Wise man,
and Samson was very strong man, but
neither of them could pay his debt with
out money"
The spirit Of Lord Byron was inter
viewed in New York the other day. He
didn't appear 80 much interested in the
progress OF his monument az in Mrs.
Stoves health. He's waiting for her on
the shining shore.
"I HAVE no hope Of his recovery; /
know his physician very well" said
uncle Daniel Drew when asked his opin-
ion of Commodore Vanderbilt's pros
poets, entirely unconscious that he was
making very neat mot.
A FUND has been raised in England
for the family ofJohn Chiddy, who saved
an express train at the expense Of his
own life. He saw large stone on the
track, and by great effort rolled 1t away,
but could not himself get off the track
before the engine struck him.
BECAUSE you flourish in worldly Affairs
Don't he naughty and put on airs
With insolent pride and station!
Don, he proud and turn up your noee
At poor people in palmer clothes;
b.. learn for the ,hS SAKE Of Sonf mind 81
And that all proud flesh wherever IL grows,
| Is subject to irritation! SUM.
Mrs. TILLoTsoN, the dress refcrmer,
says: "If was betting man I'd be
willing to bet $4,000 that these dry
goods merchants hate us because we arc
likely to spoil their business by shorten
ing our skirts"
A JERsEYMAN married five wives. and
they were all rcd-headed. He explains
it by relating that the first one clawed
the spirit out of him 10 completely that
he didn't care after that II he married q
porcupine.
AN Indiana man, who saw his wife fall
off the bridge into millpond, never hes
itated moment about his duty, but
with that noble impulse 30 characteristic
of the sex darted down the road and
prevented anybody from coming up to
witness the narrowing spectacle.-Brook-
Ign Argus.
THE other day would-be fashionable
lady called at neighbor's at what she
in," said the neighbor; Eve are having
a tableau." 81 am so glad" said the
visitor, 81 thought ] smelt 'em, and !
like them better than anything for
supper"
A WELL known American comedian is
sail to have n habit Of biting his finger
nails. lie also has small daughter.
The other day :" that dear child" delib-
erately pared her fingernails, aud, in the
innocence of her heart, approaching her
comical progenitor, "Papa" said she,
"here aie some nails for you to eat!"
A WESTERN paper has published one
stanza of sixty.three which had been
contributed on that rare subject The
buties of nachcr," and promised 10 give
the other sixty-two if its readers desired
to see them. The opening stanza was:
| 60 see what have sawp.
10 feel what have felt.
Walk in the fields at early dawn
| And smell what have smelt.
THE Frencl, who settled In Canada
formed one OF the happiest, best-ordered
and most peaceful communities In the
world, and after history of hundred
years, and after suffering conquest by
the English. that community remains
French, still unabsorbed, with life and
a society and mental atmosphere all its
own.
| A HOWARD street small boy was 10
unfortunate as 10 remark at the break
fast table, the other morning, "Oh, dear,
Pm 80 sweaty." !" quite to the horror OF
a youthful aunt. ijeing reproved for the
use of so inelegant term, he replied
"Oh, yes, know all about il. They talk
of horse as being sweaty when II IL
man he 'perspires, but young ladies like
you only glow
CHARLES DICKENS said that "the first
external revelation of the dry rot in men
is tendency TO lurk and lounge; to be
at street corners without ineligible rea-
SON. to he going anywhere when met;
to be about many places rather than
any; to do nothing tangible, but TO have
an intention Of performing number OF
tangible duties tomorrow or the day
after"
A LADY wearing a wash bowl hat,
patent spring tilter, one OF the latest,
while visiting relatives in the country,
took walk one fine morning. Two ex-
tremely youthful rustics who were gam
boiling in field, saw her as she passed,
and after staring in astorishment for
moment, one OF them managed to ejacu-
/; late: "Sneak home and get yer shot
gun. Bill, that things 'scapcd from a
: circus"
!. THE first party of painted savages who
raised few huts upon the Thames did
. not dream % the London they were ere.
! ating. or know that in lighting the fire
! on their heath they were kindling one
E of the great focils of Time. All
of the gland agencies which the progress
nj mantind evolves are found in the
i, same unconscious way. They are the
y aggregate result of countlesssingle wills
: each OF which, thinking Of his own end
and perhaps fully gaining 1t, is at the
= same time enlisted by Providence iu thu
"a secret service Of the world.
= "You must rot smoke here, sir!'
e said the captain of North River steam