Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-08-04
Fl u 0 E.

Too Soon FOR HIM.-A young lady in,
this city, says the "Herald," of Helena
Montana, talks in her sleep, and will an
swer unconsciously questions put to her.
She was courted by timid young man who
has never had the courage to ask her to
marry him. He called one night last week &,
and entering the front door. as was his
habit, without ringing the bell, saw her
asleep on the parlor sofa. He heard his
own name softly expressed from between
coral lips. Immediately the pent-up bur-
den Of his love broke out in words: 'Dear-
est, do you love me?'' "Yes,' was the
soft response of the sleeper. Twill you
marry me?'' dyes" 'sShall it be in Il
year?'' "Any time." "Let it be in six
months?" There was asmoment's sllencs,
and suspense, when the lips again moved.
and the young man distinctly heard the
little wcrd august" He stepped cautious
ly back, and glided quietly from the house.
August was too soon to suit his purse.
A lady in Bedford, who lived near a
church, was sitting by the window listen
ing to the crickets which were loudly chirp
Jag. the music from the choir rehearsal be
ing family audible, when a gentleman
dropped in familiarly. who had just passed
the church and had the music full in his
saind. "What noise they are making to
nightln said he. "Yes,'' said the lady.
4sand it is said they do it with their hind
legs!"
At circus, while the rope walker was
going through his performance, "a boy about
twelve years old turned to an acquaintance
of the sa me age and remarked: ''Tom,
don't you wish you could do that?" eyes,
do" sadly replied Tom, ''but my folks
make me go to school and are dete rmined
that I shant never be nobody"
son one OCCASION" says DR.. Hodge. 81
went into the room of my old classmate,
Bishop Johns, of Virginia, and picking up
one of his yestments threw it oyer my
shoulders, and asked, "Johns, is there any
grace in these clothes2" mot now, Char
lie." retorted the Bishop.
They were talking of a death, when one
man asked: "What were his last words?"
4sHe didn't say anything was the re-
ply. ''That,s just like him." said the
first man, with an approving nod. "There
was no gas about hlm. He was all bust
ness.'
On Hang, of North Adams, sings OF
Mary and her little lamb:
Was gal name Mol had lam,
Fleas all samee white sno,
Evly place Mol gal walkee
Ba, Ba, hoppee long too.
Smythe was telling some friends about
a wonderful parrot: "Why!" SAID he,
ssthat parrot cries, stop, thief y SO natu-
rally, that every time I hear it always
stop. Now-hang it what are you all
laughing about 20
During the recent tornado couple of
Pennsylvania boys were up in cherry tree
stealing cherries. The tornado carried off
tia cherry tree, and neither the boys nor
the tree have been seen since, Moral:
Never tell a lie.
The Hessian fly is doing much damage
in Iowa, and Keokuk paper inquiringly
asks whence the pest originated? Why,
everybody ought to know that it was
Washington who made the Hessian fly.
.sDoes your sister Annie ever say any,
thing about me, sissy?'' "Yes.'' was the
reply, 'sshe said if you had rockers on your
shoes, they'd make such nice cradle for
my doll.
A wag, noted for his brevity, writes to a
friend to be careful in the selection of his
diet. He says, don't eat Q-cumbers;
theyM W-np."
A thief, who lately broke into a grocer's
<varehouse, excused himself on the plea
that he only went to take tea.