Litchfield enquirer., 1876-10-05
SUNBEAMS.

OUNDGAmOs A Sioux motto: "White man big smart he furnish brains; red man heap brave he kE ;-A 'em out.
 A St. Louis man ran six blocks after his nose, thinking he was going to a fire.-N. Y. HegGlG.
 Ornithologists tell us that the owl is 8 wise bird. He certainly is a very sol emn'un.-N. Y. Commercial AGlUertissr.
 A Reading man has written an essay on "Bastles." And some buStleS project sufficiently to enable man to write an essay on lem very easily.-NoTistOtOn Herdld. ., ..,.
 An old epitaph in the churchyard at Bedlington, Northumberland, reads:- 'Poems and epitaphs are but stuff;
 Here lies Robert Barass. that's enough" ,
 A sick man in New Orleans was told by the doctor that nothing would save him except a quart of catnip tea. seThen I must die. said thsr PUoF man, flor l. don't hold but pint" ....-...., s.9
 A lawyer at the bar was held to be in contempt for simply making a motion in court. It was ascertained, however, that he made motion to throw an inkStand at the head of the Court.
 The farmer who sent his son to New York to become clerk now writes ask ing the merchant whether there is ''any- thing in the boy" "Yes," replies the merchant, just after he has been to saloon." z '-s
 A Vermont youth at his mothers fu- neral said to the n'ighbors: "Me and father are much obliged to you all and hope soon to be able to do as much for you.
 When Peters peters out who will pick the asteroids when they are ripe He got away with another yesterday of the twelfth parvitude. This is becoming ridiculous.--N. Y. Graphic.
 Every infant can say "no" several months before it can say "yes. ."-Scien- .itfc American. It m lst be remembered, though, that infants are not invited to take something .-C CInnden Post.
 The W0man's Journal claims that the sexes are equal. A married man, how ever, always has the advantage of being able to climb tree when the argument assumes the form of rolling pin.-Nor- acicb Bulletin.
 A Preston man, who called upon a musical friend last evening at supper time was ,warmly welcomed, as they had party, and were just going to have a symphony. He said he thought he smelt it as he came over.-NorWich Bulletin.
 When a load of hop-pickers drives by >the Waterville Times office, the editor and all hands quit work and stick their noses cut of the front windows, making novel but striking Administrations Sentinel.
 F Topsham, Me-, has a young lady with hair seven feet six inches long, and when she goes in swimming she leaves her clothes on the bank with the utmost im- punity. Democrat.
 Seedy gent. ito policeman)-Begger! Who's begger? How do you know as ain't swell, what ave been to a ball mask in the karicter of cadger, and is .a-walkin' 'ome in my .costoom?
 During the past summer it has been so
 
 have been observed to crawl up out of the water, lie down beneath the shady trees, and fan themselves with their tails-Ec- change. This is rather ScGly mGrrGtiUe and is of .fshally terrible cGtastrophy.
 Rowland Hill ih his later life, used to come to his chapel in carriage. He got an anonymous letter rebuking him for this, because it was not the way his heavenly Master tra eled. He read the letter from the pulpit, said it was quite trHe, and if the writer would come to the vestry afterward with 8 saddle and bri- de, he would ride him home.-O@cs c Week.
 The baby was doubled up by the cramps and yelling at the rate of a mile a minute, as the father and mother stood over the crib with the laudanum bottle between them. "No, Mariar," he said, gently, but firmly, you pour it out; that child's growing so much like your mother that 1 can't trust myself."-. Brooklyn Argus. -.
 Early one morning fisherman, in his night-clothes, was standing at the door of his cottage in one of the Scotch fish ing villages, scanning the weather.
 
 "A fine mornin', John." "A fine morn in,-what o'clock wult be P About five o'clock, think" ''Od, a daurSay I'll ava in an rise." f.''. -...,. -...
 The laziest man is on Western paper. He spells photograph '4tograph." There have been only three worse than he. One lived out in Kansas, and dated his letters '11worth;" another spelt Tennessee "10aC,' and the other wrote Wyandotte 'Y&."-ErchGnge. None of the above can approach our model lazy man. He was hunter, and punched out his left eye with ramrod to save the labor of shutting it when he went to shoot.- Shreveport Times.
 ''What under the sun are you rum maging in all the clothes-closets for p the tender wife asks her fond husband in the bracing Autumn mornings. "My winter pants and coats, 1" he replies; with a suspicious look at the empty hooks "Oh--why-yes-let me see" and with the guilty blood suffusing her love- ly face, she glides into the next room and takes a china dog and a pair of glass vases and plaster sheperdsss off the mantelpiece, and hides them behind the soi.. M H3 tt
 "Only to think" said a young Chris tian matron the other day at tea, "how these poor heathen in Tahiti and the other places of South Africa and India are superstitious. Why if one of their children meets cross-eyed man, the mother, with a scream of alright, seizes the little one, and to prevent the infu- ence of the evil eye-Hiram Snedicor Perkins r she cried, interrupting her. self, "what are you doing, holding that blessed innocent pudgy wudgy before the looking-glass? Don't you know tbat if it sees itself before it's three months old if will novar hava 6avss luek aQ lono, au