The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1876-10-12
TIE MAD ENGLISHEEENe

In the year 1Sll, TWO GngIISnlnen ar
rived in Ostend, and, from their move
ments, appeared to be two singular
movements, appeared to be two singular
ORIGINALS. One was short, stout and red
haired the other, tall and thin. The
short one was named Richard Mowbray,
and the tall one was William Feathering-
ton. Both we're In the prime of life, be-
tween As and IS. From head to foot
both were gentlemen, and their passports
were In the best order and regularity.
Upon stepping ashore, they were con-
Quoted, a& their desire, to the Scheldt
BIN, In the Gudule street. The host was
by name Rysvoort, and his inn had by
no means the best reputation In Ostend.
The ipn-keeper was of course enchanted
by the arrival of such unloOked-for
guests. They occupied the best apart
mants IN his house, and ordered the
choicest fare. The cook busted herself
IN setting before them a most miserable
dinner, and our host did the same by
two bottles OF execrabI0 wine. The
islanders ate and drank with the most
perfect satisfaction. But the reckoning
Upon this head the host was quite at
ease. The next morning his enormous
charges were paid with tie utmost in
difference Thus far all wa3 excellent
but Van RysyOort, unused to such birds
of paradise, feared every moment they
might depart, and continue their journey
to Brussels. He very sagely concluded
that the Englishmen did not cross the sea
to see Ostend merely, and to pay roundly
for his bad cheer.
The pair, however, showed no signs of
departure diligence offered them
every opportunity. The Englishme1
remained quietly all intercourse with
the townspeople they avoided the sights
they troubled themselves not at all about.
Every day they walked into the country,
and ate and drank, smoked, slept, and
read the papers, and lived as quietly and
peaceabiy as angels. No letters came to
them-they sent none off the world was
dead TO them, and they were dead to the
world.
livery third morning they regularly
pad their bill; took nothing off, although
the landlord Gaily charged three-fold
price for everything. Van Rysyoort
spoke usually but little, too, and troubled
himself about his GUESTS still less, since
Engl1shmen took up al his attention.
He puzzled his brain over and over again,
and st last took his wife into his corin-
sells; but, as they could not even con-
jointly solve the mystery, they consulted
With friends and neighbors upon what
these Englishmen could possibly be do
ING at O5tend.
They are Spies" said one. Birds
Of fight, who are escaping punishment,
said the others.
Do not trouble your heads; I'll tell
you what these two Englishmen are
they are nothing more or less than mad
Englishmen. DO you know what that
means Listen, and I'll tell you. Z
knew in London a man who, in his old
age. took to leading such beggarly life
that, for fifteen years, he lived as the
most wretched of paupers. From his
fellow-beggars he received every sort of
annoyance; his mode of life brought on
him cudgehngs and imprisonments: but
he still persisted. At last, one morning,
he was found in lane, frozen dead.
And listen he lett a will-valid, and
drawn up by nOtary-in which he dis
posed Of more tnan ESQ, 900 to village
he had never seen nor known. Confess
that that was mad Englishman. Such
aresthose now lodging in the Scheldt.
So spoke this clever man. But Van
Rysvoort answered, Mad or not, they
are good customers; they live and pay
well; never complain, and If l only for
five years could keep such guests, l
should become made man..
A week after this consultation, and
three after their arrival, the Englishmen
called their host, and thus addressed
him: "Herr Van Rysveort, your hotel
pseases us very much, and, ii our propo-
sition pleases you, we may c. ntinue our
acquaintance with each other.
"Mv Lord" answered the delighted
most, with low obeisance, q l. am quite
as your disposal; say your wishes, and
they shalt become NINE; for l know what
[ eve TO such distinguished guests.
"My good friend" said the little fat
man, ''your hotel is by 40 means so
large as Il ought to bes you know you
have but th;oe apartments III which gen
tiemen can be accommodated, and these
look upon hestreet. The rattle of carts
and carriages makes noise without end.
We love quiet; we are here every instant
disturbed; our health must sink under
it; In short, the noise is unbearable.
g am sorry to hear it, Ny Lord; what
can do? You are quite right. It is
true the traffic is without end, but can
not shut mp the street.
Certainly not; but the thing is not
so difficult, after all.
''Wbat does My Lord mean2"
s'The cost cannot be important, and
we will willingly bear the half"
$ Pray continue, my Lord, cried out
the landlord, with q frankness and
warmth most unusual to hin"
$ Yar1 have behind Ynur houaa. q