Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-09-01
Fl II MO e..

SELF-SACRIFICING.- is true
story. The happy circumstance occurred
one Sunday He escorted her to and from
church, sand5 upon arriving at her home
their discussion of the sermon and the ex-
IRENE heat suggested an invitation, readily
accepted by Charles, that they step into
the house and partake of cooling glass of
room, and there found naughty brother
Ben about to squeeze the last lemon in the
house for his own individual benefit Call
ing him aside she induced Ben, by means
of sundry threats and promises, to dissect
the lemon and make Charles and herself a
glass. A self-sacrifcing thought struck
her! 'sNo, Ben, "ssaid she, put. the juice
of the whole lemon into Charities glass
and bring me glass Of water He won't
notice it-there is no light in the parlor ~
Ben was making one good, strong lemon
ade as directed, when Charlie quietly
slipped out, and remarked: 81 say, Ben
put the juice of the entire lemon in your
sisters glass and bring me some ice water
there is no light in the parlor and she
won't notice it u u az. hge .1of
Ben's forte is in obeying orders.
With a merry twinkle in his eye he drank
the lemonade, then carried them each a
glass Of water, which they drank with
much apparent relish, asking each other,
between sips, aaif it was sweet enough?"
And naughty brother Ben, with the taste
of that lemohade in his mouth, stood out
in the hall and laughed till his sides ached,
to hear them assure each other that it was
s.just right SO palatable and SO re-
freshing ]" III AIS a.-4
A witness twice, in the course both of
examination and DISCRIMINATION, de-
clared that there were only two things in
the world which be admired-women and
horses. Sat the conclusion Of the tria!
the Judge asked that the witness who
made that statement should be brought
before him.. 81 think, sr,' said the Judge,
ssthat I understand you to say that in your
opinion there are only two things in tt IL
world worthy of your admiration women
and horses; is that SOP" Eyes, my lord;
to it..'' every well,' said the Judge
solemnly, snow will give you Il piece OF
advice. When yon go home get an honest
solicitor to make yohr will for you, and
have a clause inserted instructing your
executors to have your skin tanned after
your death, and have Il lady'S saddle made
out of the leather s'But, my lord" eX-
claimed the amazed witness, ''what can )"
tsDon:t you see?" said his lordship inter-
rupting him ''why then you will have the
satisfaction of knowing that after you are
dead you will constantly be between the
two objects of your admiration" Justice
Maule is sadded with this bit of tun.
Who does not love afaithful, honest dog
mans faithful friend? q And yet who is
there, stretching out in the shade for u
quiet afternoon nap, who has had man s
faithful friend come painting up, and in al
excess of honest affection, laying Il great,
q broad, hot tongue all over ones cheek, from
chin to eyebrow, that does not get up an
seize mans faithful friend by the tail and
one ear and try to throw him across 4,
prairie fifteen miles wide.
It was evening. Three of them wer e
killing cat. One of them held lantern
another held the cat, and third jam med
the pistol into the cats ear, and fired
shooting the man in the hand who held the
cat. and the one with the lantern was
wounded in the arm. 8 The cat left when
it saw how matters stood, and that ill-feei
ing was being engendered. s
A certain dentist has an exceedingly
happy way of making his juvenile patients
laugh during the operation of tooth pull
ling. He simply says; "One tooth-ree
out goes he,7' and in another instant the
offending molar is triun phantly displayed
before the eyes Of the delighted younster.
Danbury has the champion patient boy.
He comes from a. ehronically borrowing
family. The otherRda he went to a
neighbor,s for cup, of sour milk. II
haven't got anything but sweet milk,
said the woman, pe5tishly. syn wait till
it sours," said the obliging youth.
A young gentleman, who moves in the
best society of San Antonio, said the other
evening a young lady, 1.-The foliage is
much more exuberant this year than
usual.'' eyes" she answered thought
fully, ''an them imported fruits is cheaper
than they used to was "
THOMPSON, of the West Chester ''Locai
News, ''gravely cautions young men against
marrying a girl who can't do up a shirt.
Why didn't he continue by advising girls
who can't do up shirt to marry editors, SO
that they will never be troubled with such
duty? 10 sa9s -olaz n b.4
SCUBA wants to borrow forty million
dollars.''c We have only thirty-nine mil
lions in cash, and we don t want to mort
gage our printing Office to make up the
balance, hence Cuba will have to seek re-
lief from some other source.
Men. says Adam Smith, are naturally
unsentimental A man will scoop the
bottom out of an egg without thinkin G
that the mother of that egg is, perhaps,
a hundred miles away, in the rain.
An impecunious individual was heard
] to muttef. as he finished reading rail-
road hand-bili headed Through without
CHANGE ''That;s the road I shall take;
no fault to find with them terms"
A colored brothers opinions SIDE wo-
man oughter work; dat's SO: for if it
hadn' been for Eve we wouldn't none OF
uis ha, ben ,bleeged to work tall"
"a Worcester county female walks ten
Z miles to church every Sunday. She wishes
10 q, be- known by her walk rather than by
her conversation. aa9i4 =.