Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-03-08
Paragraphs.

cents on the dollar.
A DOG fight is now facetiously styled
an affair de car.
The first science a driver teaches his
mules is geology.
those who lament for fortune do not
often lament for themselves.-V oAoire.
This weather makes Influenza citi-
zens.-Bosto7a Post,
WHEN is a baby like a canister !?
When it is tea thing
To make both ends meet poor m an
must bend his energies.
We rise to fortune by many success
sive steps; we descend by only one
Sto,,aslaals.
"PATRICK, where's the whisky I gave
you to clean the windows with p "Och,
m aster, drank it; and I thought if [
br eathed on the glass it would be all the
same"
PLEASURE is to women what the sun
is to the flowers; if moderately enjoyed
it beauties, refreshes, and improves;
if immoderately, it withers, desolates,
and destroys.
Too much idleness, 1 have observed,
fills up mans time much more COM
pletely, and leaves him less his own
master, than any sort of employment
whatsoever.-Bawke.
SHUN the inquisitive, for thou wilt be
sure to find him leaky; open ears do
not keep conscientiously what is in
trusted to them, and word once spok-
en- flies, never to be recalled.-HOrnce.
The Atlanta Constitution says: A
letter passed through the postofice in
this city yesterday with the following
poetical inscription:
"Steal not this for fear of shame
There is no money in the same.
True it does check contain,
But tits for baggage on train"
The time for man to stand firmly
by Jobs example is when he washes
his face with some homemade soap
and begins to paw around over the
chairs with his eyes shut, inquiring for
a towel, quick, and is told that the towel
is in the drawer, but the keys are lost
Glasgow (Ky.) Times.
A GENTLEMAN lately placed deed
for $4,000 worth of real estate in the
hands of the Rev. G. G. McCabe, for
the Board of Church Extension of the
Methodist Episcopal Church, saying:
GA deed is better than will. Twill be
my own executor" A wise conclusion
and noble deed.
VIRTUE is an angel; butshe is blind
one, and must ask of knowledge to
show her the pathway that leads to her
goal. Mere knowledge, on the other
hand, like Swiss .mercenary, is ready
to combat either in the ranks of sin or
under the banners of righteousness;
ready to forge cannon balls, or to print
New Testaments; to navigate corsair's
vessel or a missionary ship.-Horocc
Mann.
A CLASS Of ragged boys in a school
had learned to answer the questions in
the catechism by rote. One day a
stranger entered to examine them:
but, unfortunately, the boy who was
always at the head of the class was alb
sent. The stranger asked: "Who
made your" And the boy answered:
"The dust of earth" "Oh, mol" was
the demonstration "God made you"
"No," was the response, "the boy that
GOLD T1EcK" goes to the imperial
royal palace at Berlin every evening
and regularly narrates his budget Of
stories, which are of a nature to super
induce upright sleep. He is court
pet When "Old Tieck" tries to be
particularly funny and witty, pillows
are called for by those he manages to
corner. The Emperor who is on a par
with "Old Tieck" in the funny line ap-
preciates him highly, and has bestowed
a pension on the children of the story
teller, who may be called the modern
kind of court bufoon in Germany.
Formerly court buffoons there were
grander personages.
PRESIDENT STEARNs, of Amherst Col
lege, in recent lecture before his class,
depreciates the present system of edu-
cation as injurious to the memory. He
said the Hindus transmitted without err
ror the three books of the Vedas, one
of which consists of 1,O1O hymns,
through the centuries to Solomon's
time, about 1000 before Christ, by
memory alone, acquiring them from
oral Instruction. thing which has no
parallel at the present day. The null
tipicity of subjects now presented to
to the scholar, be thought, rendered the
acquisition Of retentive memory next
to impossible.
SOME curious relics were found in
the old elm of Boston Common. A
fattened bullet was discovered imbed-
ded in the trunk Is rings from the CEN
ter, and beneath the tree was medal
which is described as follows: It is of
large size, Of copper or bronze, and has
medallion head on one side, and ON
the other figures of justice with scales
and sword and of religion with cross,
and a circular temple in the back
ground, with date which seems to be
1904 or MDCIV. The diverse side of
the medal bears the following inscrip-
ton: "Franc l. Par. ct Plac. Dux.,"
which in English would read, " Francis
l., Duke of Parma and Placenza."
There is also head of Francis I. On
the rever e are the words, "Juguntur ut
imperent," which mean, "They are
joined that they may rule"