Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-04-28
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

WHEN is III fIBnt 10 take one lnE Nnen
Il rains.
In San Francisco there is one divorce 10
three marriages.
LET no single man escape" is the leap
year motto of the ladies.
PUNCH says that this year woman pro-
poses, but God disposcs.
WHAT are they which, though always
drunk, are never intoxicated? Toasts.
MANY lady in Washington has come
to want-come TO want diamond ear.
rings.
A DIGNIFIED answer to beggar girl
is: "Go, waif, from Inc. IN 0. Repu5-
ltcan
HONESTY has nothing to fear Dis
honesty should be made to fear all
things.
"WHAT shall we do with our Chinese
population ~ is the que-uestion in San
Francis
SCRANTON, Pa, had haunted piano
until the top was raised and rat allowed
to jump out.
Two YEARS from this summer the
French people will get up great exposi-
tion in Paris.
A FROG weighing 150 pounds was ex-
hibited at Nashville the other day. Itwas
q railroad frog.
II used to be considered "pOor doings'
to smoke five cent cigar. Railroad con-
ductors smoke them now.
SAID philosopher: My friend con-
Quoted his wife to the altar-and here his
leadership came to an end"
RHODE ISLAND people never write let
lers to places within the State. When
they want anything they "holler."
THERE is one man in Philadelphia who
does not expect to make fortune this
year. His funeral will take place to-
morrow.
DANIEL DREW was worth $9,00O,0O0
when lie was seventy years old. That was
the time to quit; but there IS no fool like an
old fool.
THERE is a valuable piece OF real estate
in Boston which is leased for ninety nine
years on an annual rental of twenty tons of
pig iron.
A NORTH CAROLINA man has conceived
the brilliant idea of exhibiting the fifty
ugliest men in the United States at the
Centennial.
WHAT is the difference between trum-
peter and Il hornet? Why, the trumpeter
is cornct of horse, and the other is q
hornet of course.
TIE Centennial proposition that it
shall require a hundred years for a note TO
become outlawed doesn't ceem to take
with large order Of patriots.
HINT for the season tohusbands accord
ing to the Rochester Dem0crdts Gregorian
calendar Weed all the letters out Of
that winter overcoat"
DURING the last year eight women have
been admitted to the ministry in this
county, and five of them are settled over
thriving congregations.
The Philadelphia Bulletin calls atten-
tiOn TO the fact that, though few individual
Jews are ever hung, yet no people ever
hung together like the Jews.
LAST year the town of Winter, Cal,
was wheat field, and a crop was gataered
from it. To-day it has 1, 200 inhabitants,
and town lots are worth 5000.
"YoU are brilliant and versatile bou-
quet of loveliness," with voice that was
low and soft, and in return she warbled.
DRY up, George; you've said enough"
WHEN the spider left the ark, did he
walk Or take iy?-Eachange. We can't
say. There anteane data as we know
of bearing on that question.-GIo6e-D Dem
ocrdt.
THE Forsyth (Ga.) Advettser thus
philosophers: "The soil is the farm
er's bank" says an agricultural write.
Oh, if more people would break that
bank.
A CHICAGO paper has an article headed: !:
"a Poet among Poets" A "Poetess
among the Kitchen Pots" would have
been more interesting Detroit Free
Press.
Mrs. SHERIDAN thought a parrot might
amuse the baby, and said so, but when the
eighteen FOUNDER Parrot gun came up on
dray she saw that Philip had misunder-
stood her.
brought in this verdict: 1--WE, the Jury,
agree to disagree" The Judge unani.
mously agreed thereupon to fine them five
dollars eacn.
A KENTUCKY girl was burned to a crisp
the other day while ironing. If she had
been playing the piano while her mother
was ironing the accident could not have
happened.
IT is beautiful sight to attend an
Arizona wedding. The bride in white,
the happy groom, the solemn minister,
the smiling parents, and from twenty-five
TO forty shot guns standing against the
wall, ready for immediate use in case
there is row, OF an Indian attack.
ONE of our Boston banks recently sent
some business paper to the West for col
lection, and this week twas returned pro-
tested, with the following response to no.
tary: Tell 'em I'm busted" a concise
ii not elegant way of telling a story that
has become quite familiar these days.
Boston Post.
THE serenity of the bench and bar was
somewhat disturbed at Independence, Inyo
County, Cal, the other day A witness
had taken the stand and the usual oath
was being administered, when the witness
suddenly interrupted by eXclaiming: "Be
jabers, I'd tell yeZ the hull truth, your
Honor, if the divil shtood fornenst me wild
his horns so long" and he illustrated with
his arms outspread before his head how
old Zamiel and his horns would appear.
THE Danbury NeUs man is an usher in
one of the Danbury churches, and on OBJ
serving gentleman come in with a lacy
he always whispers; Married 5" If the
gentleman says yes, the usher seats tine
two as he best can, even if it is five rods
apart. Ii the answer be in the negative,
he gets both of them in one pew if he has
to split some one in two to do it. Five
years ago he was so kicked by an indig.
nant young swain whom he inconsiderate-
ly separated from his aiiianced, that he
has never forgotten it.
A