Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-02-25
Our Winthrop Letter

Mr.. EDITOR:-- Since our last, Winthrop
" society" has been deeply absorbed in
both legal and medical doings We were
going to say g interested in lawyers and
doctors;" but that would be most too
sharp a joke upon the members of those
two professions, as they claim Ito say the
LEAST to be respectable
Somebody compared our Justice Court
to Il grist-mIll no doubt me1ning wind
mill, or grist-miIl by wind. This was
with no disrespect to the capable court IT.
self, but referred rather to the power that
not only managed the suits, but seemed
to supply an everlasting grist of causes.
Justice of the Peace Courts are famous
for producing jokes, and ours is no eXcep
ton. IN a certain case the question re-
lated to the producing qualities of q GER
tain piece CT land. \ very competent
witness, an cX-mcmber of our State Legis
aturc, and scientific stock grower was
placed upon the stand The opposing
counsel, who by the way kicks TIE beam
way up in the hundreds, and whose tenn
per just then was not the best, asked in u
stcnlorian voice;
You, SIT, profess to be ascicntiic man,
| bclievc?"
W" cannot say that do"
C-"Do you profess to be a naturalist?'
W" Well, always lad thought that
[ knew steer from an attorney, but
Here it was concluded that the witness
could step down and out, as tie cross
examination was becoming complicated.
The other, or medical source of interest
during the past week, may be said to have
been 4 huge joke in the bulk the best
part of which was the well-filed pocket of
the chap, who in some respects resembled
the counsel spoken Of, but found no victim
keen enough to tell him of it We had
a Dodge of the same kind through the
county some years ago, and many of his
victims are now starving their children
and lodging around corners to avoid their
honest creditors, as the reward for their
gullability 1t seems that bitter expert
ence, good sense, and observation, all go
for naught when some people fall under
the willy arts Of itincrant vendors of med
ical soft soap. They will run after men
Hho, for all they know to the contrary,
have their State-prison suits still in their
carpct-bag But it is so easy to cry self
interest,"" or prejudice" that we offer
what Harpcr'8 IYeely says, a journal
whose ability, candor, and independence
cannot be gainsaycd. 1t is one of the
comparatively few papers that does not
allow the business Of quack advertising
to bride it into guilty silence. 1t says:
" 1t is Il fact that ought to be impressed
upon the public that no regular member
of the medical profession ever advcrtiscs
in the newspapers or by any Of the usual
methods employed by the different trades,
&c Every advertiser may be accepted
as rogue or quack Che is generally both),
and the remedies advertised are either
drugs that ought never to be taken except
under the direction of a careful physi-
clan, and frequently compounds incap-
able equally of good or harm" But some
say, why not advertise? the reasons are
numerous and valid. The man who could
blow his horn the l0udest, or spend the
most money for printers ink, would be
the winning man, regardless Of talent or
skill. 1t would also lower the means of
acquiring business to that level where
shoe backing operates. The Chief Justice
of Illinois lately cancelled an attorney per
nit to practice for simply publishing card
to obtain divorces "wilhout publicity
Fumbling heads to detect character is an
exploded humbug OF other days, and il is
well known that most chronIc diseases,
such as catarrh, &c, are easily relieved
temporarily, or just long enough for the
cry to go out that Mr.. A or Mrs. B has
been cured by the great, long-haired med
ical wondcr-worlier whose sands of life
have nearly run out, or who "prefcrs
cases that other doctors have given up"
Every graduate in medicine is solemnly
obligated to avoid such practice and we
never knew one to violate his obligation.
Meantime the curtain drops, exit Mr. Cure
All, ditto greenbacks, but never the green
horns, who wait for the next scene.
SHAKESPEARE.