The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-07-27
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

EITHER a sheet is too short for man,
or man is too long for pillow. And
nothing can decide this point bat fly.
IT was Prentice who declined to dis
cuss woman suffrage in his journal, be-
cause he had considered Woman, from
the creation, as n side issue.
FOLLY soon wears her shoes out.
She dances so fast we are all of us
tired. Golden wires may annoy us as
much as steel bars, if they keep us be-
hind prison-windows.
NEWSPAPER correspondents are be-
ginning to think it would take pretty
bic horn to induce them to follow up
Armchair Bull. They prefer remain
ing with their black-eyed Sues at home.
A BASEBALL club is to be organized
at Troy composed entirely of old play
ers who have been MANNED by playing
the game. The club will be appropri-
ately called the Old-limp-ics.
"No man was better calculated to
pre-iudge pork than my husband was"
said Mrs. PartingtOn. "He knew what
good hogs were-he did; for he had
been brought up with 'em from his
childhood"
MORAL character is of little value at
this season. A man who has walked
unscathed through the fiery and eXpen-
sive temptations of Satan's hosts will
easily succumb to a small cucumber
which might be bought anywhere at the
rate of two for a cent.
RECENTLY a clergyman, while an
ha t,,,lt,if annninf-
ment for the ladies of his congregation
to meet at the orphan asylum on a
beneficiary visit to the institution, closed
the announcement with the following
words: "The ladies will take with them
their own refreshments, so as to not eat
up the orphans"
A MOVEMENT is on foot to bring about
a uniformity of measures, instruments
and methods of observation among ply
sicians in all countries. This is an I'M
portant and much needed move. 1t
must awfully discourage a man to learn
that friend had leg cut off with
bigger and more costly scalpel than the
one with which his own leg was ampu-
tated. And Just imagine tnat boys
feelings who gets a smaller dose of cas-
tor-oil than is prescribed for his broth
erl Yes, let there be a uniformity in
physicians instruments and measures.
-NOrriSto0R Herald.
A BURLINGTON naturalist last Sunday,
while investigating the causes and effect
of the poison of q wasp sting, nobly de-
termined to make of himself a martyr
to science, and accordingly handed his
thumb to an impatient insect he had
Gagged in bottle. The wasp entered
into the martyr business with a great
deal of spirit, and backed up to the
thumb with an abruptness which took
the scientist by surprise. He was so
deeply absorbed in the study of RENE
dies, that he forgot to make any notes
of the other points in connection with
stings, but his wife wrote paragraph
in his note book, for the benefit of sci
ence, to the effect that the primary eff
feet of a wasp sting is abrupt, blasphe-
NOUS and terrific profanity, followed
by an intense desire, fairly amounting
to a mania, for ammonia, camphor and
raw brandy.-HaUkeye.
He laid four dimes and a quart bottle
on the counter, and informed the bar
keeper that he wanted bottle of fine
whisky. "None of yer dog-goned rot
gut for me-" he said, 81 want the jen-
newine article-suthin' that will revive
the recollections of 40 inter this noble
breast; suthin' whats got age to it."
But when the barkeeper told him that
whisky of that quality was worth g
bottle, he said he wasn't a bit particu-
lar; that he didn't 90 much on style
nohow, and that he would 90 to a house
where the barkeeper didn't wear dia-
monds and mistake every customer for
the owner of the Manhattan mill.
'When it comes right down to it," he
said, "there amt much difference in
whisky; some's a little better than the
other, but it's all good, and it's only
question of time.and a matter of taste,
at best. ."-AuStiN (NeU.) ReUeiLle.