National Republican., 1876-12-19
Natiuual gepnhlieaa
CURIOSITY SHOP.
,tar bao raturrad o@,,.Jt--

-Ihe centennial Is An epOcn-markeI
year.
We may hate the Turks while estin!
tnrkeys.
"A cat in astrangs garret has no heart fol
moasing.
Creditors win make calls on New
| Years day.
-squaw-lid poverty marks the Indian
hunters home.
The world usespeopls betterthan they
use each ether.
There are no happy hunting grounds
Real estate agents are always in dan.
| ger OF a Landslide.
/ Adam got dig IN the ribs when he
asked for q wife.
| I'm the army those-w who fall out ara
| called stragglers.
Wagon wheels are among the things
which go by turns.
Gas made week ago is certainly the
| light of other days.
mo man can tell how big his miud Is
| until 1t is m ade up.
"A cold can be caught row without
running very fast forit.
ing of, will soon be here. .s--
When mans DAYS are numbered he
has no appetite for years.
Careful farmers cradle their wheat and
babies and have good crops.
When man begins to lie there is no
knowing when he will stop.
The hooks and eyes of this world do
not amount to row Of pins.
If every man wants fair show in the
world let him 90 to the circus.
Quaker bonnets answer the seuae DUR
pose as blinders to q harness.
The marriage relation is now mostly
mentioned as an appeal to arms.
The laws do not SO much stand in
need of change as do the people.
"A confidence man is not the sort
wanted for a confidential clerk
-Itis comfortable now to have sone
one else get up and go to market.
Multiply 9s7654S21 by As and see what
strange set Of figures you will get
You may find viollnist asleep. bat
you will never catch Ole Bull doing.
The reformed actress has been re-
inforced by the converted minstrel"
An Industrious man with a handcaFt
can make living If he pushes things.
December comes in lying, but it will
probably get lambed before it goes out.
AT distance small men are thought
to be great, and they should stay there.
The man who advertises to ere cover
Umbrellas" ought to do o, good business.
"A Northern woman does not like to
The poet who stood on the bridge AZ
midnight was helped home by q policeman,
-"Give us civil and religious liberty
is the cry of every uncyl man who has no religion.
AN aspiring young man is certain that
he could write well If he knew what to write.
AN old bachelor says that when he
wo0ed she wouldn't, and that was the cause of.it.
When a woman hesitates she makes
mistakes; when man thinks he is pretty he-ss
! Those who have had nothing to sour
their dispositions think it Is easy enough keep
sweet. -
The man who calculated badly is gen.
orally left with cane when he wants an UNI
brella. -- - =
1t is in view of visitation of potato
treaty. = :
Johnny Thompson. comedian, is play
ing Moses in Indiana. He should go to South
Carolina.
So long as a man drinks every minute
thoughts. -
. 1T is hard to show an American any,
thing which cannot be disputed. Ours Is the de-
Papers are continually publishing hotel
srriysls as If the arrival of hotel was an every
Boston is ready to be converted. The
roof Of he Needy tabernacle has bsen. placed o
the new building.
-Krupp has an army of Is. 500 men and
the biggest cannon. Krupp ought to declare
--Diphtheria is q sort of garrotinc diseaseg
II takes a fellow by the throat ana shOkes a doc
tors bill out of him.
Eight Modocs have recently died from
whooping cough. 1t must hare been a sort oG
war-Whooping cough.
"A Saranac shoemaker adyertises, stRe-
pairing done nv n Christian cohhIer IJa will
attempt to save soles.
The woodman who refused to s'spare
that tree may have been regarded as q sort of q
hew-more-tst in his way.
The loafer will never be happy until
he gets paid for doing it.
Good -natured ladies do not expect
bald-headed gentlemen to raise their hats in an
swer to passing salutations.
"A Colorado woman has collected fifty
bushels Of grasshoppers, and scalded and dried
them for winter chicken feed.
"A Cincinnati policeman has been dis
charged for attempting to commit suicide. He
should have succeeded better,
The man who loses an election bet Is
the man who laugss. He would like to see the
other fellow make him pay it.
There are tea grounds for asserting
that persons real strength of character is not
drawncut until he gets in hot water.
The circus programme claims for
James Melville, equestrian, that he Is "the
originator Of carrying boy on his head.
1t is now said that San Francisco
hoodlums enter houses at night and steal women.
Are there Bessie Turner'S in San Francisco, too
The peanut crop this year amounts to
scooco bushels, and it will be Just as dificult as
ever to hear anything lesturer or a theatre
actor says.
Water, though well warmed, would
9ueneh, nevertheless, the IRE that warmed it.
nharaPfer traQaharOna
be described. -.s.
Only few days more of leap year re-
main, and we shall be glad when it is over. This
having to reject girl after girl is cruel strain
Whatever you get your husband for q
Christmas present, don't have the bill sept to
him till after Christmas. He might impugn your
generosity, you know.
1t showed lately in Constantinople,
and the superstitious Turks were filled with dis
NAL forebodings at a phenomenon Of such rare
occurrence in their climate.
"A New York gentleman asked ragged
urchin who gave 81 to the fund for the Brooklyn
was, ''Oh, I black boots, sir.''
They are talking of young man of
twenty-four from Vermont who saw q train of
cars for the first time at Charlemont the other
morning. What he said was "By snum!"
An article in Chicago paper on the
Indian war has the following amusing head lines:
"Sitting Bull personally interviews Col. Otis, and
agrees 10 let him alone for four boxes Of Crackers
"A boy of ten cares for nothing so much
as play, and will run after q top or q hoop with
enthusiasm, but q man Of thirty or forty is not
apt to run after hoop-that is, that sort Of .
hoop.
James and Thomas Hart were arrested
in Colorado town the other day for jointly beat
ing q barkeeper. These must be the persons re-
ferred to by the poet when he spoke of Htwo
Harris that beat as one."
The scientific journals are discussing a
new process of making gas, the cheapness of
which will admit of its use for fuel. 1t Is said
that 1t might be delivered In residences for ifty
cents or less thousand feet.
The Dublin Mercury of March. 176S,
advertises ga neat and beautiful black girl,
brough from the Carolinas, who speaks English,
and Is very ut to wait on q lady. To be disposed
of on application to Mr.. Carolan-"
The prevailing colors in the dogs
heads now worked by the ladies on slippers for
their gentlemen friends are said to be as follows:
The main body is yellow the eyes Of cardinal red,
the ears of sky blue tipped with lavender.
"A stout German in the beer industry
to an improbable customer: ssHere now you
took dose doors and walk owet init your ears ehf''
(He doesnt.) Helm, you dond gout? Veil, you
n rnfuuta nd -oet n mar dot vflirs