The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-04-14
MisceIla N Q O u g..
A LAW SUIT.
AND HOW IT WAS ENDED.


Mr.. Popkins was bachelor. Imentior
this fact with all due Difference for the
name-and sympathy for the condition. -
He was wcll-to-do in the world, if owning q
fine farm and being plaintiff in lawsuit
is any criterion. Aside from Mr.. Popkins
misfortune in being n bachelor, he had one
fault general aversion to female society,
and particular aversion to Miss Sallie
Hopkins, the defendant in the abovc-nam-
ed lawsuit.
Now be it known that though Miss
Sallie's name was put down in the list of
o. MS (Old Maids, she was the roundest,
cosiest, dimpled- checked spinster that ever
lived in Lincoln. She had the softest
brown eyes, with trick of looking down
and peeping under the lashes perfectly be-
wildering, and her hair waved and shown
in the sunlight in such manner that
susceptible lady, like you and /, would
have felt an irresistible desire to have sole
ownership of the "nut-brown locks"
But however fascinating Miss Sallic was
to the sex in general, as l have said, be-
tween her and Mr.. Popkins there was
deadly ieud and the cause Of all the trou-
bic was meadow, spreading far and wide
and unconscious between Miss Salic's and
Mr.. Popkins' farm.
Now the truth of the matter was this ::
The meadow justly belonged to Mr.. Pop
kins, but instead of going to Miss Sallic
and frankly stating the case, he must serve
process of law. Miss Sallo flew all to
pieces, and declared she would maintain
her rights at any cost
I Al Il,
the whole thing ended, that had Mr.. Pop
kins gone to her himself, she would have re-
linquished it gracefully, but woman has
mortal horror of being forced to do any
thing. Tie thread around their necks,
feed them with sugar plums, and you can
lead them to the "jumping-oif place." go
to driving them, and for obstinacy they
will beat Mark Twain's mule in the Holy
Land all to pieces.
When Miss Sallc met Mr.. Popkins on
the street, her nose was decidedly "re-
trousse," and Mr.. Popkins looked like an
automaton Cardiff giant. The neighbors
were forced to take part in this case for
when invitations were issued for the regu-
lar tea parties, those who invited Mr. Pop
kins were compelled to omit Miss Sallic,
and vice-versa.
In the meantime the lawsuit dragged
its slow length along" from session to ses-
sion, from term to term, until Popkins VS..
Hopkins was as familiar as A, b, G. But
fate had taken in hand the destiny of these
two obstinate individuals, and soon
brought matters to a most satisfactory con-
clusion, although the unconscious media
tor was rather a burlesque on the "high
tragedy" daily enacted.
There lived close to these belligerents
good-natured old man, nearly as deaf as a
post, who had the greatest faculty of blum
dering on unfortunate facts of any indivi-
dual known either in ancient or modern
history.
He never heard anything correctly, and
it was an utter impossibility to try and ex-
plain; you would certainly find yourself
iloundering about in slough Of de-
spair.
Miss Sallic and Mr.. PopkiLs received
final hearing in Harrow, on the Tuesday
of next week, Miss Sallie concluded to
take the stage; Uncle Ben Dropper, our
deaf friend, bad business little distance
on the road, and he would take the stage,
too; and Mr.. Popkins' saddle-horse fell
sick Just as he was needed, and there being
no time for any other arrangements, so he
must take the same conveyance.
Miss Sallie came floating to the gate with
white ribbons and bows, and dainty dress,
sufficient to bewilder man with as stony
q heart as the Sphinx, and saw, approach
ing from the opposite side, her foe, in i'm
maculate broadcloth and shirt front. For
a moment the color rushed to her cheeks,
and she had half resolved to go back; but
to be out done by Il man, and lie Pop
kins, was not to be thought Of So she
stepped into the coach with the air of 16
Queen Victorias, elevated her head until
it made an acute angle with her nose, and
became sublmely unconscious orany ones
presence. Mr.. Popkins seated himself as
though he had swallowed Il whole foundry,
and his pockets full of eggs for dessert.
Just then came Uncle Ben, putting and
blowing, utterly unconscious of the oaths
of the impatient Jehu.
"Good-morning, Miss Sallic," said he,
carefully seating himself beside her,
Good morning, Mr.. Popkins. Where
might you be going, and what forl"
ITO Harrow" said Mr.. Popkins in his
most polite manner, answering the first
question and ignoring the last.
"Do tell" and the round face fairly
glowed with placid surprise. "Going t.
marry WE'LL l told Hester last night tina
that was the best way to settle the sui
after all. There amt more capable CIR
anywhere than Sallie, and I'm glad you've
found it out. And Mr.. Popkins is wonder
fully clever" turning to Sallie; "ipsteat
of there begin two farms and lawsuit
three need only be one Law bless me +
rubbing his hands with increased satisfac
ton, "if it amt tiptop arrangement !"
Mr.. Popkins clenched his throat a
though he was choking to death, and mad
| spasmodic efforts to utter word of OK