The Van Buren press., 1876-05-23

/ q =
or. are you Z" asked His Honor .of 1 red
neckei, ugiy-iooking man named Waiter
Henry. #n st&se
"She is enough TO drive any man era
~. was the sallcn answer,
a woman with q black eye came for
ward, was sworn as witness, and the
Court said 4e
Now Mrs Henry. what "a the long and
short and breadth and width Of this sto-
ry?' - Il .,.ss IN. Is - -
. He came home half drunk, sir.. and
began 10, tell t!Ias be wished hs had nev
ersmarHcd, aud answered that be could
go as soon as he pleased. Then says he:
Mary don't you sass me" And re-
plies = And don'tyon Sass ipe. either
| Then he ssys; III black rom ere fbs
faiiIlI i II nave ynr xrrrsrru nnu y ~ .&sa MI
he didn't care FOR The police, ana he hit
ne an awful cuff -
What have yon got % say to this,
Nr. .Hcnry?' II n ~
''s Nothing, sir, only wish was dead
- presume she wishes so too, md I'm
sure the. public won't grieye much I
| fine you $40. sir, and IL you come again
on the same charge III put you where
you won't taste Of lincklebtrry preserves
for six months" s".
Here's .the money" said the wife,
producing the bill, :, 81
-. WI What, you, pay lis fIuse" sssclaimed
~ Yes, iii, here Il the money. 7 told
him I'd have him arrested il be struck
me. and j keep my word. And IN have
him arrcstej ej every time he strikes me"
And she took his arm and walked ont.
- H5 'sss----. - - 1T as
An LSsYAfsrnizlSd. yofkR- They
say that the politician who Isn't enthqsi.
astIc in the cause. of his party .ispo pp
tician at All, and this may be the motive
mental power which forces some politi-
clans 10 extremes, ~ = ar
In charter election he'd IL d Western
towp the other day enthusiasm ran high.
aud both parties made a lively effort to
get out the full party vo,e.s Ab0at.M
honrs before The polls closed Il wssf dis
covered. that The leading candidate on one.
ticket was one vote ahead, With no Pfos-
bect that lie coli!l sacnrc another so.e
l'lfe Opposition polled Its fuf strength.
bht suadcnl lyrelaembereda that . faithful
membeg WAS on q bed Of sickness.s "A
carriage was driven 10 his house, and the
sick mans wife met tlie committee az the
tIod,l. So 148a - ~ @@SsfA mHf40iaf#H
io.sM husband N atthe point D rdcaths'
she'sadiy rtpiinl totheir intersogatogies.
AsssCouldn TIVE. carry hin. on q alonngcss' = !
q gafs|sa { s snf 81 ef hey men. en-. ,.-A
:. -. ts,,,,,.. . fsav s,f ss,~nrfake him on
bed p contained the man.eaz
g / think he is dying even now, she
answered. a IS 5.r5,a.ga "
(" Does he know we are here M
He Is, unconscious"
"Dear met sighed the man as he y
turned away &" don't see how he can
willfuly and deliberately lie there and
die when his one vote would scoop the
opposition higher than a kite.'
An experienced woman who was about
to move, had much difficulty in findings
place to suit her. She was we'll pleased
with house up town, bat the back yard
didn't give satisfaction. The fence didn't
contain single knot-hole, aud she said
she wasn't going to break her neck by
climbing on top Of an old barrel 70 sec
what was going on in the next yard y
A beautiful female lobbyist says that
one tear, ifit eau be SO shed as 10 reflect
the light Of bright setting sun, will have
moro power over the average Congress
man than all the arguments that could be
compressed into two honr conversation.
A little boy. when picking the drum
stick of a chicken, swallowed one OF the
tendons which are so numerous in tue
legs ola fowl, and was nearly choked.
Tie tendon was, however, extracted with
great difficulty from the little fellows
throat, when he exclaimed, I" Oh, mamma,
IL wasn't the chickabiddd's $ fault, it was
because cook forgot to take off it's gar
| ters !" 4"
| The quarrel between the Duke and
Duchess of Edinburg has become mat
ter of international importancc. Mr..
| Smalley writes. The visit to Peten-
burg. for which tho death of the Duch-
ess, aunt furnished convenient pretext.
was really polite mesns efaeffecting .
The Cars love for his daughter is one
OF the strong passions OF his life; what
NAV he not do TO avengc the fancicd
slights which she believes she has to
i bear
Slavery is to be- abolished in Massachu-
sets. Boys and girls under ten years OF
ace are not hereafter to be permitted to
work in the factory. The law passed by
the legislature on the subject has gone
into effect against the opposition OF IN
tcrestcd parties al Fall River aud else =
where, and it has already taken many 1T
tie ehildren away from factory work
Some people seem to be extremely sea-
sitive. AT one Of the churches on >uH'
dav the minister read the prayer ioF
person in deep atiiieticu, ana man WI"
had just been married got up and weas
out. He said he didn' want pubic sym
pathv obtruded on HIN in that way.
A fashionable ehronicler says:
"Old lace is more tashionaoie anu
more worn chan new. oldciothes A.c
more worn" than new, too, aid '. ~
ft 10. .Ia, ,t.at;,,., will soma when they