The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1876-10-20
FACTS AND FANCIES.
"DoLCE FAR NJESTB."

Ny friend my chum. my trusty cronyl
We were designed, il seems 10 me-
To be two happy lazzlroni.
On sunshine fed and nscaroni,
Far of ON some Siciiian
From dawn TO eve in the happy land,
No duty on us but 10 lie
StIaw-hatted on the shining sand,
WIN bronzing chest. and arm, and hand
Beneath tue blue Italian sky.
There-with the mountains idly CHASING
Their purple splenlors in the sea-
To watch the whitC-winged vessels passing
fortunes for buster fools amassing).
This were a heaven 10 you and me.
Our neerschaums coloring cloud y-browp
Two young girls coloring with blush,
The blue waves with a silver crown,
The mountain shadows dropping down,
And all the air in perfect hush.
Thus should we lie in the happy land.
Nor fame nor power. nor fortune miss
Straw-hatted on thu shining sand
With broHzing chest. aHd arin. aud hand
Two loafers eouched in perfect bliss
WHENEVER we pass judgment upon
ourselves, the prisoner is sure to be well
defended.
ALL men are better than their ebul-
litions' of evil, but they are worse than
their outbursts of noble enthusiasm.
THERE is nothing more truly insinu-
ating and deferential than the waggle of
little dogs tail in the presence of big
dog with bone.
GENERAL DIX has got so old an
feeble that he can no longer see a worm
hole in an apple, and every insect must
look for himself.
owe expect the Great Father to feed
and clothe us aslong as welive," tenderly
remarked one of the Indians who had
thirteen scalps hanging in his lodge.
MANS inhumanity to man is too
familiar to require any explanation, but
mans inhumanity TO woman is perhaps
best illustrated by the care he exercises
in forming a circle around a dog fight, SO
that a passing female must climb a lamp
post to get view Of the proceedings.
THE day has come when manufacture
ers can take calves feet and work them
up into delicious strawberry jelly, and
raspberry lam, but that's as far as they
can go; when they can tackle a calfs
head with success, some folks will be
missed from society.
THE first step toward making a man of
your son is to train hIm to earn what he
spends then the best way to teach him
to be frugal is to take away his money as
fast as he earns it, and spend it wisely
for Yourself. There is nothing like
teaching the young by example.-B'o'-
hngton HalCkeye.
A WAITER advertising for Il situation
saws he can "fold napkins in three hum
dred different ways" but what the
boarding community wants most just
now is a waiter who carry a dish of soup
without soaking the first joint of his
thumb in it.
GIANT no use in your cryin'," said
a heartless maiden TO her PROSTATE lover;
% | wouldn't marry you if you were the
last man on earth" Well, Mary" he
replied, breathing through his nose with
great difficulty, "you'll lend me your
pocket handkerchief, won't you?"
YEARS ago, when a painter wanted TO
lepict wholesale anguish he went for
Inspiration to the place where criminals
we're tortured to death but now he finds
, better and more convenient subject in
he Young man in the front seat at the
heater whose tall collar has become un-
behind.-jG. Louis RPuJ.icdn.
AN Indiana man, who saw his wife fall
,ff the bridge into a millpond, never hes
tated moment about his duty, but
With that noble impulse so CHARACTERISTIC
If the sex darted down the road and
prevented anybody from coming up to
witness the narrowing spectacle.-Brook- :
m argus.
al sYMPATlIzE sincerely with your
,rief,, said a French lady to a recently
widowed friend. "To lose such hus-
,and as yours" "Ah, yes, he was very
rood. And then, you see, such mis-
ortune is always great, tor one knows
what kind of husband one has lost, but
AN not tell what kind of a man one will
ind to succeed him."
LIVING.