The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-01-06
Mrs. bunny and the Tramp.

Mr.. RhilAnder Bummy resides at Rog-
ers Park. He is very fond Of playing
practical Jokes. All summer be has been
amiablys entertaining his wife, who
is a timid woman, and does not
keep a servant, with tramp literature.
and instructing her what to do in case
one o&the fraternity should call ct the
house during his absence. " See Lucin-
da,' he would say, "if one of them
tramps comes to the housen carries on
rough, Just you say you'll call your hus-
band or you'll set that big dog on him,
and if he don't git up and git, just you
ven out Philanderl Philanderp or Sic
him Towser. Don't be scared, Lucinda;
don't be scared.
It occurred to Mr.. Bunny that it
would be well 20 test his wife, and see
if she was as efficient in practice as she
claimed to be th col etically. Sc yesterday
be told her he had to go to Milwaukee
aud wouldn't be home till late. Then
he eunningly disguised himself with
some false hair. and hair dye and suit
of ragged clothes, and about halt past
ten o clock he walked around to his own
kitchen door he found it unlocked,
and walking into the kitchen was sur
prised to fad that his wife was not
there.
Just ike these women,' he growled,
" a man might come in here and carry
the whole house out of the door and
that stupid VI roman would never know
it Won't have a joke on Lucinda,
though q be said in rapture, as ne pock-
eted the forks and spoons. at this mo.
ment the door opened and Mrs. Bunny
entered. She gave a shrek and seemed
surprised, and then said family:
WHAT Go you want, sir z
Then the assumed tramp replied:
/ want some hot dinner, and a suit
of clothes, and any money and plate you
may have in the house, and a kiss
"Go way, you bad man, replied the
virtueus matron, " Go way or I'll set
the dog on you, and Bosuth IS awful
fierce. He BIT man twice Gs big as
Hal ha laughed the tramp.
- You've got 10 dog; you amt got an
ounce of sausage meat on the place.
"If you don't be quiet" said Mrs.
BUNNY 9 I'll call my husband, you bad
man. Here Fred Fredp ~ she shriekej
as the man pocketed q napkia-ring.
Y ell away, he said with a mocking
laugh, "Your husband amt here and
his name amt Fred either.
He isn't Is he ? 1t amt, It amt p
circulated big red headed man whom
BUNNY had never seen before, as he
bounded IN his shirt sleeves from an in
ner room.
j" You internal scoundrell" be cried as
with fearful kick he lifted Mr., BUNNY
like a meteor oue Of the back door into
the swilI barrel, I'll teach you to insult
my wife p aud he hauled Mr.. BUNNY
out by the neck and sBabbed the coal
heap with him; you thought wasn't IN
eh and be knocked Mr.. Bummys eyes
into one. Hadn't got no dog neither ?
Here Nero-soox, and big bull dog
with tail like a piece Of EacaVony d=0p-
| ped his lower Jaw ike the tail board
| of q coal cart and applied himself to the
slack of poor Dummy pantalcons.
Hi Mercy II surrender Don't
shoot. Fire Police Here's your morn
/ ing papers. Lucinda, I'm Bunny"
1 yelled the unfortunats man. After some
difficulty they recovered q large per cen-
! tage of hin from the dog and rut It to
/ bed, where it wag identified as the prop
/ erty of Philander Bunny of Rogers
/ park It subsequently transpiFed that
Mira. Bummy's brother Frederick had
arrived just from Texas as her husband
J LETT for Milwaukee.