Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1876-08-31

AUG. z. 1876.
There wuZ wunst a doctor witch he'd
bark witch would either physlc or
puke, accordin ez he stript off the tree
up or down.
Like to this doctor is Tilden and
Hendrix. Reed ther letters up and
they are hard-money physic-reed EN-
down and they are soft-money vomick.
The day got back from the st. Loo
is Convenshun / commenst preparin
for stumpin tour for our gallent
standerd-barers. / borrowed an extra
shirt so that could hev one; borrow
ed q valees to kerry it in when l
wus'nt speakin, and also to give me
standin at SIGH hotels. ez the committee
didn't become responsible for my
board, and Bascom completed my out
fit by contributin quart bottle of the
newest, to be kerried in the valise to be
.yoosed in localities where the necessa-
ries wuz hard to cum at.
Ez couldn't go about instructin Nv
the people till knowed what my can
didates bleeved in, decided to wait
till / got their letters nv acceptance.
Did that likker stay in the valise?
Not any. 1t wuz all gone the fust day,
and went to Bascom with the empty
bottle the next mornin.
Fill it upG. w." sed 1. 1 can't
go till / hev seen them ldtters.
"When will they conner" askt he.
To-day OF tomorrow" sed I.
"Yoo shood hev kept wat 700 he'd till
the letters come, ;" sed he. sa
"Bascom, /" wuz the response, tinker
like yours cannot be kept"
And then seein trouble ahead, / con-
tinyood: ..
promise me tibet yu will keep this
bottle filed till them letters cum. 1t
will be but little while; and remem-
Der, Bascom, 700 got the $500 that Til
den, the Reforner, paid for my vote at
50. Loois.''
81 promised" he groaned.
"And likewise, till l hev red EN- and
understood EN-. so that 1 shell not go
out and spout false Dimocracy."
III promise!' he groaned agin.
Day after day passed, but no letters
cum. But promptly every mornin l
wuz at Bascom's with that bottle wich
he groaninly filled. On the thirtieth
day he refoosed pint blank"
~ &C., We SEE l sternly, remember
yoor promise. 1 may be called any
mint. 1t wuz the foolish virgins wat
he'd no lie in their lamps. 1 am no
foolish virgin, Fiji up the lamp for L
may be called to-nite."
And he filed it becoz he had promis-
ed to.
But every mornin he would lift up
his voice and howl, ssGrashus heavingsl
amt them letters never comm to re-
leev me of this incubus?'
At last one mornin, the letters come,
I'm the Louisville papers, and Bascom
Hcum over to me happy, ez though a
great wait had bin lifted off him.
II fill the bottle for the last time, 7"
sed he gaily, ''for 10, here be the let
ters."
took the papers and red the letters,
and the next mornin was promptly at
his bar with the bottle.
Fill it." 1 remarkt camly.
Not any," sed he. You hey the
letters" tt
George Washington B., ;" replied,
''yoor promise wuz to keep this bottle
filled not only till Ihad red the letters,
BUT TELL UNDERSTOOD EN-. 1 hev
bin applyin my intelleck to EN- for ten
hours, and eff know from them letters
whether to talk hard money or soft,
immejit resumpshen or perpetooal post
ponement, L hope never to be postmas-
ter"
Wat did that perfidius wretch do? He
telegraphed that very day both Tilden
and Heudrix, ez follows:
Shell Nasty, on the stump, advocate
hard money or softY Anser to wunst.
Important, to save an inosent Dino
crat from room.
And the ancers come prompt:
FROM TILDEN.
Hard money, Nv course, but soften it
a good deal in the West. Strike boldly,
however, for Reform, and agin the Cor
rupshun of the Republican, party.
TILDEN.
FROM HENDRICKS.
Soft money, nv course but harden it
good deal in the East. Strike boldly,
however, for Reform, and agin the cor
rupshen of the Republican party.
HENDRIX.
And so, hevin my instrucshuns,
he'd to 90. Ishel, however, before l
speek, git Instructions from John Nor
issey and Fernandy Wood, ez to the
best methods NV bringin about Reform,
and nv flghtin corrupshen in govern
ment matters. atJ F
ts.so PETROLEUM v. Massey,
witch wants to be Postmaster.)