The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-02-10
Items OF Interest.

Items OF Interest.
A man can find fault in any direction
he is pleased to look for it.
The art of life is to know how to en-
Joy little, and to endure much.
It is said that 100000 boxes of
blacking are annually manufactured in
the United States.
Tragic satire The author of "The
Art of Becoming Millionaire has just
died of starvation in France.
An exchange wants to know, since
work is pronounced wirk, why pork
should not be pronounced pirk
The Carthaginian inscriptions to the
number of 2,084, which went down in the
Magenta, have been all safely recovered
by the divers.
The governor of Virginia pardoned
criminal on condition that he shall never
use ardent spirits, wine, or any other in
toxicating beverage.
An English medical journal says that
women are getting the monopoly of neu
ralgia because so much of their heads
is exposed to the air.
Said dry goods dealer /" OF course
we lose money on every piece of these
goods, but, my dear madam, we sell such
enormous quantities of them"
The "leap year necktie" for gentlemen
has q spring which, being touched,
moves thickness of silk aside and
shows disc inscribed emo"
A gentlemen was directing an English
gardener to put his hedge in order. His
reply was "Ah, yes you gest want me
to cut the hedge of the edge"
An Atlanta pastor died few days after
his Sunday school children placed on
their Christmas tree present for him in
the shape of life insurance policy.
A thousand dollars of conscience
money was recently received at Wash
ington in one day, notwithstanding this
is dull year in the conscience business.
A breed of dogs without tails has been
discovered in Africa and how the mis-
chievous boys there utilize old tin kettles
and fruit cans, we cannot pretend to say.
1t has been suggested that if young
men will marry on the twenty ninth of
February they will be able to save many
presents expected .on wedding anniver-
saries.
A bill has been introduced into the
Pennsylvania Legislature making it a
penal offense to point" pistol or gun
OF any firearm at person, whether in
| Jest or in earnest
"What do they always put d. G. after
Washington for % asked Mrs. Quilp of
Mr.. Q. why, my dear, don't you
know that Washington was Daddy of his
Century ?" said Quilp with snicker.
In Germany 1920 out of every 10000
Of the population ore under school in
struction in Great Britian, !, 400 i'll
France, 1,160 in Belgium lao in
Austria and Hungary, $40 and in Rus
sia, $50.
A bald man was sadly astonished to
find his French barber's charges SO
hirh "Ten francs,' exclaimed he,
/" for cutting my hair p oh, 10,
monsieur, not for cutting your hair, but
for finding de hair to cut.
Mr.. Drum, OF Beatrice, New, has ever
so many little Drums in his house, be-
sides drum in each ear, and yet he is
not drummer, says an exchange. But
it would seem that such family must
lead humdrum sort of life.
In the last illness of poor Hood he was
reduced to skeleton. AS he noticed a
very large mustard poultice which Mrs.
Hood was making for him he cried :
oh, Mary ! that will be great deal of
mustard to a very little meat p
Two men seeing a naturalist in a field
collecting insects, thus spoke of him
"What's that gentleman 2" "Why,
he's a naturalist. "What's thata
"Why, one who catches gnats, to be
! sure"
Maria" observed Mr.. Holcomb, as
he was putting on his clothes, "there
amt no patch on them breeches yet. .
81 can't fix it now no way ; I'm toe
busy" Well, give me the patch, then,
an I'll carry it around with me. 1 don't
want people to think can't afford the
cloth.
There was CONSERVATION at Verona,
N. Y, one Sunday, when an old barn
! yard ram was found standing, like al
angel with flaming sword, at the door
way of Presbyterian church, buttine
fiercely at everybody who attempted tt
, enter the sanctuary. Finally two of thu
brethren seized the intruder by the fore
lock, and returned him to his fold.
ADanbury couple have a nice httl,
daughter of some five summers. A lad,
visitor observed to the mother: "Wha
a pretty child you have She must be
+, great comfort to you" She is in
S deed" said the fond mother. "Whel
3 I'm mad at John don't have to spea
: to him. She calls him to his meals, an
I tells him to get the coal, and other thing
that 1 want. She is real handy" :
The Courier de Lyon quotes an e,
ception to the rule that only people wit
empty pockets drown themselves.
spinster of the tender age of forty-seve
: threw herself into the Saone, havin
previously tied her pet pug to her wais
The act was noticed, and the two insep
q rabies were rescued, when, to the amaz
r ment of all, 40, 600 francs in bank note
and ], 800 francs in gold were found c
the person of the erratic young lady.
a Two boys, aged six and twelve year
entered Cincinnati police station OF
night, and the eldest told an affectiI
story of parental abuse. They had,
said, been driven from home, and we
exhausted with wandering, besides BEN
hungry. They were fed and house
y, In the morning their frightened moth