Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1876-02-18
That ELECTION Hat"

I studying the character of " Hamlet,
with intent to ruin the reputation
Booth. A wild maniac glare lighted h
restless eye, and his equally restle,
; other eye was similarly Illuminated. II
clothing with the exception of his ha
had seen better day-a great many bette
days. His hat was faultless. tile Q
latest pattern. Its aristocratic curvs
!. were lines OF beauty, and its glossy SUI
face was as smooth as lightning ro'
agents tongue. 1t seemed rs thougl
the deities of good fortune had decide.
to endow this individual with shining
raiment, and had begun at the extremity
which was nearest to them.
He paced the floor M oment, and then
assumed an latitude" Sna ching a red
herring from his hip pocket and brand
ishing it alolt, lie quoth:
us this dagger which I see before me:
Or hath this herring cast delirum over
me? '~'
! have thee not, and yet l see thee
Fam would clutch thee by thy pallid
gill
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible,
That, in eluding me, your course is rep.
rehensible? =
A dagger to the mind, false creation
A paltry herring, or an emanatiOn
Proceeding from the hcat-opprcssed brain
A gaont, grim, SPECTRAL" ''
Drunk" "swettly murmered the Office
boy, and started for the nearest officer.
The effect of this interruption was in.
stantaneous and decided. The wild
light faded from the strangers eyes, and
he moved from his central position ON
the floor, taking steps of the ordinary
length Instead OF five-foot stl ides. Re-
moving his glossy tile, he placed it con-
spicuously On the office edition of Web
ster, and then sat down -a thoroughly
thoughtful, subdued msn.
After few moments silence, he said:
You see that hat? Well, that's what
1id it. Rum didn't do it, Political dis
didn't do it. Religious ex.
,itement didn't do. Why, sir. have
iyed IN New Jersey-the native lair of
Jersey lightning and was never brought
o such condition as this; l was once q
.and.''ate for Alderman, was accused 4f
'olsoning my mother-in-law, was con-
1icted of stealing GELS from a fishwoman
d was overwhelmingly defeated-but I
TODD 1t like man; l. was converted when
was mere ooy-gone through all sorts
i excitement, and have come cut sll
light every time. Buried my mother-in-
aw. and reason never totterel on its
hrone-no sir. But that hat did it,
hat confoundcd hat
You see, / bet On the elections-bet a
at. Lost? No. Worse than that Il
1on. And so went and picked out the
hat in the market. And pretty
ooa it was noised about that Jones-by
le way, Jim Joues-that Jones had won
hat on the elections l was congratu.
ted. 1t costs me just SIX dollars and
twenty-five cents to be congratulated
ps; and the ten cents more for the fell
W who said he never drank or smoked.
1t wanted to help me wet my hat, and
} he'd take paper of fine cut Six doll
rs and eiyhtytive cents. And then I
arted for home. l was just six saloons
way from home. got there at mid.
ght, and my hat had cost ME some.
ing over seventeen dollars. oh, what
love of hat exclaimed Mrs. JONES'
Yon it on the elections? Didn't cost
III cent! Now can't you get me that
ar little bonnet - can't you, Jonesy.
ell, you see couldn't explain to her tha
ysteries-I may say the expensive mys.
ries-of hat wetting, and SO l bought
at 'loye of hat for nothing! The bill
: the tonnat raised the price Of that
&c hat to upwards Of twenty.six do lars
he news that Jones had won q new hat
the elections, you know. is increasing.
fellow who WON'T wet an election hat
Penurious, left handed curmudgeon,
u know; and 1t now costs me ten dols
8 to go down the street. l am not q
,ated bondholder. as my clothes-bar-
e my hat-will show; l am not y bank
'hier, am not trustee for an orphan
nily- in short / am not a suitable
son to win election hats. The fellow
10 lost the hat got Oft by paying just
&c dollars: ard it has cost me upwards
torty TO win thar hat. At the pres
rate Ishall become . bankrupt Fri
q nOon,'
The victim of the election hat remained
mt AID thoughtful. The mystery Of
tragic rehearsal at the beginning of his
remained unsolved. His attentioa
5 called to the matter.
Oh, yes, he exclaimed, you zee that
5 put up job. could get sent 10
eas ? enough. but thought it would
more appropriate to be sent to the
lnm am an honest man, but | am
ng to try my best TO get sent to the
~ house for . few weeks. where I
II not be asked 10 wet that hat and
ere car think over what q unsni.
US fool was not to bet on the LOSING
but here comes the boy with the
icemaD.
" is the winter o our discomfort.
1e glorious summer by the cold that
went;
all the clouds that lowered upon our
house
'e fled before the warning, nix cum
rOusel
v are our brows bound with yic;oy-
ious wreath.
bruised arms"
he s.earn Officer of the law laid his
d, firmly but gently. over thu mouth
nor Jones, and, under his protec,inS 4