The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1876-06-15

ne Is taken IN.
The key to the penitentiary--
Whisl1ey.
Disturbing the Making
sober man laugh.
Rheumatism IS always a Joint af-
fair, and yet there is only one party
60 it.
When you wind up watch it
goes on; when you wind up COM
rany, it doesn't.
There are very few rich dentists,
they all live a sort OF from hand-to
mouth life.
II Alexander is the Gar of all
the Russias, is Murad the Sultan Of
all the Turkeys?
A bah frog is never entirely
'brol1e7 financially. He always has
a green back, you know.
Tailors are said to be like some
oftheir customers; they sponge drst
and then cut.
Why is book binder a most char
liable person? Because he often
covers a multitude OF faults.
An Irishman once ordered pain
ter TO draw his picture and to repre-
sent him standing behind a tree.
A vinegar hearted old bachelor
says he always looks under the head
of marriages" for the news of the
weak.
Why should a man always wear
watch when he travels in waterless
desert? Because every watch has a
spring in it.
A philosopher being asked whas
was the first thing necessary toward
winning the love of woman, an
swered, San opportunity"
A celebrated gourmand once said:
"To enjoy stuffed turkey thorough
ly, there should be only two present
yourself and the turkey.
If anything win impress the hu-
man mind with awe, It is the express
sion of the mans face who has just
been aroused from snoring in
chuch
When women make bread, Gu
rious phenomenon often results;
you find little dear bringing forth
J little dough.
; One of the clowns in Barnum's
new show puts this conundrum; /;
"Why is the Centennial like homer
1 Because it's tho dearest spot on
F. earth"
Is it not strange that men are
!. willingto pay cash in advance for
papers from distance, and yet do
not wish to pay in advance for a
home paper2
Whiskey is worse than a high
: wayman, for while the highmayman
simply remarks, "Your money or
, your life" Col. Whisky cries. '.Your
= money and your lifer'
d "Can there be anything broaght
5 into this House," asked disgusted
r member, during the last session of
Legislature, "that will not be re-
pealed sooner or iaterg' One of the
opposition suggested a skinned
orange"
J. In Paris there is an attempt to
n revive the old Greek costumes for
+ ladies-a picturesque garment, with
n out very much OF a waist, bare arm
# ed and looking like an oat bag
y falling loose from the breast to tho
/. instep.
y The best way for a wife to pre-
d vent her husband loving the wife oI
e another man is to be her own dear
d self little sweeter, better and neat.
r. er than the wife Of that other man
1, TIE well educated husband neveI
d leaves roses for thistles.
For curing pimples, moisten 1
H. piece of hard brown soap and apply
% to the face on retiring, wash it Of
next morning; persevering with thil
n treatment the afflicted girl finds hel
o. pimples will disappear and her fae'
= become soft and smooth.
Josh Billings writes that "Phiios
ophers auI agree that the milk is pul
into the kokernut aad the hole Il
3 neatly plugged up; but who the Eel
n Ter is who duz it, the philosopher
g are honest enough for wonder Il
IN admit they cant tell us.''
!, Two young ladies' were discussing
= a preference expressed by ono o.
them for clean shaven men, wheI
the other was heard to remark; 81
:. don't object 20 one with a reasonable
quantity Of hair on his face, but
wouldn't like to marry q buiial
'h robe"
An eastern paper having had con
:. siderable to say about 'raising chick
: ems by hand. the Galveston New
- responds. 'Such information !
- - not needed at the South. Th
90 whole colored population kno'
- how TO do it, and an enterpFisin
freed man can raise more pallets
=, a single night on his way hom
from meeting than that Eastern &c
ftor could raise in a year with 4
y his science"
af Last week a millionaise eommii
H. ted suicide in Belgium; another ~
on sued for divorce and alimony Il
nj having another wife, aud one lsi