The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-03-09
WHOLE NO. 1903.


There are a, ,526 idiots In the United
States. There were "a .527, but Sergeant
Bates Is in Canada now.
The revival feeling l. spreading. but Il
hasn't yet got down deep enough 70 A.
feet arrearAges on country newspapers.
A Danbury man had bag Of oats last
week, which he calls the Seamless. as
they won't have TO be sown. Some one
stole them.
They are shipping apples from Grand
Rapids 10 Rotterdam, Holland. They
pack them 20 that they won't Rotterdam
bit on the way.
A Mexican girl living At Tusecolo has
three well developed arms. She can do
up her hair without crAmming her mouth
foil Of hairpins.
A hrm In Connecticut manufactures
one million popcorn peppers annually.
Il Exchange. Wonder II that is where
all our paupers come from1
Mr. Entrils has been appointed Private
Secretary 10 Western Railroad Presi.
dent Why wouldn't he be . good man
for Secretary Of the Interior
An exchange says In our obituary
notice Of the late Mr.. -. yesterdays
issue. for the phrase he was a noble and
pig.headed man. read. he was q noble
noble and bighearted man"
A Kentucky Judge has decided that .
man has no right 70 harness his wifo 10 .
plow, no, not even with a mule. And
yet women complain that they have no
rights.
IL IL simple madness TO think Of nomi.
mating Grant for q third term Ex.
True. my dear sir. but isn't there .
good deal Of method.ism In that madness
just nowG
They are going 10 explode $1,000 lbs.
/ Of nitro-glycerine at Hell Gate next year.
say the New York papers. II 10 not wide
enough 10 accommodate the travel from
New York and Brooklyn.
man made three unsuccessful At.
tempts 10 blow bis brains out. and then
his wife said 10 him, Don't try u again.
John you haven't got any" That man
goes about now saying he owes his life 10
that woman.
Women do more head work than men.
that is, 10 takes some women four hours
/ 10 do up their hair for an evening party.
while a good smart man can do his up
in three hours and ffty seconds, easy.
II there is anything in this world cal.
culated 10 make q man forget that he's
been 10 hear Moody and Sankey on the
previous evening. Il l. 20 bounce cheerily
out Of bed in tho morning aud light on
the business end Of tack.
The time for q man 10 stand firmly By
/ Jobs example 10 when he washes his face
with home made soap and begins 10 paw
As0und over the chairs for . towel. quick.
aud Is told that the towel IL in tho draw
or. but the keys are lost
A man slightly pretentlous, fond Of
display. and somewhat ignorant. recent
ly called tho attention Of some visitors
| 70 q snowy carpet on one Of his apart
ments, with the remark. There. gentle
men. that is one Of the best carpets Mr.
Brussels ever madef
The Rochester Express expression"
man expresses himself thuE
"Oswego has a man named SohillinF.
who IL not worth q sixpcnco"
Yes. bat " be should get hold Of you
bed give you many pound.-lOswego
n
And then yOu'dOllar and bs penny.
tent, chr
/ Atthe Barnesville 20 } Enterprise oflice
once. Geo MAcClelland. the editor. drop.
ped his rule through hole In the floor.
| Turning 10 an assistant he asked. Graft,
why don't you put q little board over
that holeT Il think you are q little
bored over that hole now" was Crafts
witty rejoinder.
An indianapolis cat got 10 playing With
q small turtle the other day and was hay-
ing a nice time tumbling u around. when
suddenly the turtles Jaws closed on the
eats tail. There was some very lively
tumbling then on the part Of the cat. 20
an accompaniment Of her own selection.
Two hours after she was seen examining
that tail tenderiy. evidently wondering
u the piece would grow out again.
How of the cherished hopes Of year,.
when realized. turn TO ashes In the grasp.
Take for instance the case Of the man
who after years Of labor was elevated 10
a country postmAstership only 10 End
himself. on his hrst day In Office confron-
ted by Granger with the perplcxing In
quiry Of how much postage II would lake
! W ANaa AfN NAat haAsAka N1N A.~tAs
when "spivins," nov Of Moundsvllre.
W. Va. was city editor Of the wheeling
Register. he wrote one evening To
day is the anniversary Of the death Of
Louis Philippe" When the proof came
up the name read sam Philiipa" "Spiv.'
thought mere note Of the mistake
would be sufficient. and 90 he wrote on
the margin. who the h-ll in Sam
Phillipsf Next morning the item came
out To-day IL the anniversary Of The
death Of Sam Phillips Who the h-ll
l. Sam PhillipsY' sspiv." didn't say a
word about Il 10 anybody.
ItiaA great year for the old man.
Grandfather who have been neglected
and made 10 feel that they were IN the
way, aud wished they were dead. Who
have long been thrust away In the kilch-
en- and left TO humble 20 themselves in
the chimney corner, arc Astoniahod By
being brushed up Of an evening aud
brought into the parlor. where they are
shown OF 10 the company a. Centennial
relics. "Grandiather. you knew Wash.
ington. didn't your screams q grand
daughter in his ear, for he is very deaf.
Yes, yes" says grandfather. "tho 0in'rel
borcrd a chaw terbacccr Of me many and
many q time The old man Y going 10
Philadelphia, sure.
There may DO such = thing a. love at
first sight" remarked Detroit girl a.
she twisted "friE' around the curling
iron. bat don't believe In H. There's
I q A a ~