The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1876-10-12
Mark Twain I'm Politics.

Especial dispatch to New Yor Timesl
Hartford, Conn, Oct. 1.-The Repub
lican meeting in this city last night was
great both in attendance and enthusiasm.
Beforehand there was a fine torchligh,
parade of Boys in Blue. The meeting
was presided over by Samuel l.. Glenn
Ems Mark Twain. 1t was his intrduc-
ton on the political rostrum, and he
was received with much favor. He
spoke as follows:
Ladies and gentleman: | feel very
greatly honored in being chosen to pre-
side at this meeting. This employment
is new to me. | never have taken any
part in political canvass before except
10 vote. The tribe of which am the
hum bcst member-the literary tribe
is one which is not given to bothering
about politics bat there are times
when even the strangest departures are
ustitiable, and such season, | take it,
is the present canvass. Some one asked
me the other day why it was that nearly
all the people who write books and
magazines had lately come to the front
and proclaimed their political prefer
ence, since such a thing had probably
never occurred before IN America, and
why it was that almost all of this strange,
new band Of volunteers marched under
the banner of Hayes and Wheeler. |
think these people have come to the
front manly because they think they
see at last chance to make this govern
ment good government, because they
think they see chance TO institute an
honest and sensible system of civil SER
vice which shall amply prove Its worth
and wortbiness that no succeeding Pres /
dept can ever venture to put his foot 1
upon it. Our present civil system, born /
of General Jackson and the Democratic /
party, is so idiotic, SO contemplate, so
grotesque, that it would make the very
savages of Dahomey fear and the very
gods OF sclomrity laugh. We will not /
hire a blacksmith who never lifted
sledge We will not hire a school
teacher who does not know the alpha
bet. We will not have man about Us
in our business life, in any walk of it,
low or high, unless be has served an
and can prove that be is
capable of doing the work be offers TO
do. We even require a plumber TO
know something laughter, and pause
BY the speaker about his business ire
newed laughter], that he shall at least
know which side of q pipe is the inside.
Roars Of daughters. But when you ,
,ome to our civil service, we ssrenely {;
ill great numbers of our minor public
offices which ignoramuses. We put the I
rast business of custom house in the ,
hands of fat head who does not know /;
! bill of lading from transit of Venus {,
laughter and pause] never having heard .
}. either of them before. Laughter |
Jnder Treasury appointment we pour !
'ceans OF money and accompanying
statistics through the hands and brain
}. an ignorant villager who never before !
'ould wresile with a two weeks wash s
'ill without getting thrown. rGreai {
aughter.1 Under our consular system |
We send creatures all over the world c
rho speak no language but their own, c
nd even when il comes To that, go wai- 4
NJ all their days through foods az 1
moods aud lenses and hourishing the q
caips OF mutiIated parts of speech. .
When forced TO it We order home a for "
ign ambassador who is frescocd ali $
Observation-Disclosures laugh