davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1876-11-08
SOUTHERN STATES,
AT WASHINGTON.
f5ETTISn TIE NEWs.
IGuet.frE flfah1fch IA YAA ItefhnhA

sprctoE Dispatch 10 7ae Tribune
WAs11tNnTON, u. T., Nov. AT II o'clock
ITO news has hccn received hero yet which fur.
nfalles nhy Indication as to the general result.
1lIc Republican Congressional Committee has
private dispatcl!es showing large gains in Con-
grcss,ncn I. Ii hoped tint tllcso gains will cx
eecd thirty; nj my rate they are 81 numerous
that q Republican maJorlty III the House seems
possible.
The dispatches from, tho aoutharc exceedingly
incomplete. Tho indications arc that South
CurDllna has gone Republican.
The Drnioerattc Committee llas no specials.
Tho barrcl Is empty.
TIE OUTSIDE SENTIMENT
Is MI for Ttl1en. Tho average Washington
crowd nlwaya ycarns to return to tho nesh-pots
OF thu autc-Rcbellion Egypt. They would shout
louder for jeff DayIs even than they do for
Ttldcn.
A good many bogus dispatches have mnle
them tccl certain Of Il complete victory. They
lavc even orgnnfzcd boot-black brigade, led
TIIcu.
The various newspaper-ofslccs displayreturns.
THE PRESIDENT
Inns an instrument at the Wllltc.11ouac, an1 re-
celycs tho general returns almost III soon us
they reach New York.
GEN. NuTLEK
Inns many friends and admirers here. The
announcement pf his SUCCESS was received with
tremendous cheering by The same crowd that
enthusiastically applauded Ttlden and hlsscd
11uycs.
TRULY LOYAL.
inc d!spatc'i indicating tue probablc deieat
Of Gen. fIawlcy, Of Connecticut, WA bullctlncd
at tue National I'ep'sllea" oi'lco as tho "dcfcat
o1 the wcak-knccd at'ti-Grant tops'hllenn."
1hefe laVo beo'l no special incidents during
tho evening except those attending ordinary
election crowds.
T1LpRs TACTICS IN BALTIMORE.
The Democrats fl baltimore rc5ortcd to tho
, 1876-11-08
MISSISSIPPI.

LoulsvIIlE, ky., Nov. 7.-I'rivatc nows from
all over Mississippi. from Superintendent, to
Mr.. Vanhosrc, Division Superintendent Of the
Western unton Telegraph Company, retxrts
the election OF five md prrllaps istore Congress-
men. md says tic State Is Democratic by over
.W,0uO.
Information from The snlnc source states that
IN LouislaMa botl parties chin tne State.
, 1876-11-08
ARKANSAS.

QUIET AND DHuEuLl.
LITTLE Rock, Ark, Nov. 7.-Returns from
five wards and one township us follows; Demo-
ctut, 002; Republican. 05I.
For Congress- Stewart, Democrat, o73;
Crayeus, Republican, 3o1. Mcclure, Repub-
licau. 005; Rice, 0rceuback, ~; Dell, Kcpublfc-
MI, none. Ward, Republican, yet to tlcar from.
Tho election was quiet and orderly.
LITTLE KocK, Ark, Noy. 7.-Rcturns from
two townships IN Clurk County give Stuart,
Democrat, 5J5; Mcclure 3s'. One township III
Hampstead County gives u Republican maturity
Of -. Ono township In Miller County gives for
Congressman Snyder, Republican, 3s5i slc,n-
n.sI!s, psnlocrnt, i2t.
Cause, 15J. l,atcsyIllc, Independence County,
Democratic, lSO; Republican, Vi.
Ono township In Phillips County, Republican
naJurity, II,
Whito Coanty, I.ibrrty Township, Democratic,
~; Aui1bieasi, 6.
kiusett gives Congressman Cause aA3.
, 1876-11-08


No trouble Ind been anticipated In tho wards
Of the West Side, except thu Elght1. and Four
tccnth. There 1t was expected that attempts
would be mude to run In sumo fraudulent yntrs
But, thanks to tho steps taken by the Rcpu,-
lfcan managers aud the Federal authorities, no
ATTEMPTS wcre made. Throughout the Wrst
Side the election passed oil, IN the whp'e, iii al
exceedingly quiet manner.
In The Republican wards, particularly #, tho
Twelfth anl Thirteenth, t!ic voting WIS rather
slpW, owing 10 the irequrncy hf Democratic.
challenging, lone fur t!,c express PURPOSE n
gaining tl,ne. nuu1 nlao largely 10 The fnrt that
ulaiIy Republicans llat1 NEGLECTED IL re..istrr,
aMl were consequently obliged IL swrar IN tllcjr
vutes.
ln twnprccinets of the Fight, Ward there were
no Republican tickets To lr had III the Httvr-
1looiI, a,ld It IL ccerIuliy surnIscl that Is Our
Cartcrs" l,ar'l was drawn on ~ p,irrslas" the
pctltllcrs. \ few drum ken Incl. were srcn, hut
thcy ercatctl 1lo disturbance. The polltu lad
nothing to do, md the Federal officers had lu
occasion to soil their gloves.
, 1876-11-08

following from Mr. A. Brenner, Superintendent
Of the Western Union Telegraph ut Augusta,
Ga., was receivts1 hcre at II oe1uek:
"FfDrItA returns come III slhwly. Southern
md western counties arr showing large Demo-
cratic goins. Tile Republicans hnvr small gains
In the eastern calntieH. The State ino';s Dem
bcrAtfr.
",sout1t Carolina Is close, md claimed by
both tbart1esn
, 1876-11-08

THE acEEEs AND INCIDENTS THERE LAST
EVENING.
It was an orderly, good-naturcd crowd, lnsCe
and enthusiasts. It WIS composed OF tile re-
spcctnblc element. almost entirely Republican.
Tic few Democrats present ,uat!u themselves
very conspicuous BY their liisses and utcr dis
agreeable noises Whenever anything fu the shapo
Of Republican gaius were called out.
Arrangements had been made to receive thc
returns md ANNOUNCE thclu Us fast is tlcy came
in. A platform hud been erected IN front Of tue
te!cyrupll-ot!ice, and here Col John B. Drake
aetcd ns Mastcr OF Ceremonies and read ut the
returns. Among thu prominent gentlemen who
came early in tho evening were Lieut.-{lcn,
Phl Sheridan, Elliott Anthony, Dan Mum,
Emcry A. storrs, Dan Shepherd, Assist. Staie.s-
Attorncy Birch, Col. bolton, Aiaj. Carroll, Col.
Tnrrencc, t'en. Macarthur, Jus. ?. 1ioot. Cru.
sshnedcr CT janus H. ioherts fso j. <. naTani, It
Maj, nrockway, L. II. Sherman, nni IL number
uf others. The crowd numbered fRljy 2,CD1
persons. Tic gra,lI rot,lns1a wus u mass of ex-
cited humanity. which sltrgea to and fru with
the 1notiau at any man .wllo csla1'rcl to mnye
backward Of forward. IN tue telegraph ntilec
the crowd took possession, anl did not vve,.
give the operator cl,ancc to work. Tic
anxiety was intense rs to results, anu great
when tic news came Of Immense Kcpublicai,
gains IN the State Of Wisconsin.
In Tho telegraph Office Secretary Dan Shep-
ard Senator Logan. James P: Root, lieu. Me-
Arthur, Emery Il. storrs, and George Schneider
were csconrrd. Gen. Logan was the most cor
,ldcnt rs to the final result, and, wltl,al, cnol
n,la easn,. Mr. stoTra wna excited md dis
cn.lrngcu Mt times. .1a1ncs L. itUut sometimes
seett!ca quito blue, yet ho rallied with Eoo,l
John u. Drake WAS perhaps the coolest Of ulI.
lie cy1nreu no elnotton, vet he seemed tD haye
an abiding faith tl.at the Republican party would
The first news that came III was about 0
0'rluck. 1t WIS from Hyde l'ark aud shnwcd
Republican gan, md was greeted with immense
cllgGss. IhGn taIla tue rgiost that 1sD pre2incts
This news seemed also reassurinc,, AMI WAS
greeted With huzz:.ls. Then cutnu In reports
from various sc2tiurs o! thu ety. They created
hut little enthusiasm. As rcp0rts ca,ne III Ut
the audience burst out in tho most dcrisiye
laughter. The llews from Massachusetts set
tic crowd Shouting, and when It was announced
that Butler a,,1 Banks wcrc elected tho cheers
wcre manY aud strong The Intelligence
. ADAMS WAS DEFEATED
by Riee hy n. icast 81, coo minority created III,
tn.cnsc ontburst Of Joy Wisconsin ntso helped
tho enthusiasm along.
Remarks uf u humorous nature were many,
aslA wlirn 3ull would nrae loud Bhnuts wpuld
be mule for J4ll1nbari. Col. Drakc announced
that theirs would bc no singing allowed until
after tho returns were all III. Once Gen. Logan
raiseti his head aboss the partIto! aud Is was
marked that It was III, t!mu fur speeches. Sonio
ollv called Tor three cheers for Con. l,v..,,,
whIs! wsIc siycn. At t1ls ts'ns the lcat "as
dou,e overhead was being liltud light fiji
en the crowd bclw. For u,l Instant
2 slight panic was created, glphe
, 1876-11-08
MARYLAND.
ytpRfhrJktr ntTNd

BALTIMORE. Md, Nov 7.-Ofllr!al returns
from all the warls In this city give Democratic
minority Of l0.o90.
In tue Third Congressional District Kim1uell'a
Ne1ntwrat) minority Il B,s27.
ln the Fourth District swaun's '{Dcmocrat)
luaJo!1ty ia over e hM
, Rctusua fsasn eYury portion Ut tAs State show
Democratic gains,
, 1876-11-08
N111llsASI{A.


OMAHA, Ncb., Nov. 7.-l'artial rct,rna from
coltns County slmw 5s Republican inalpr!tY;
Buffalo County, III Republican n,ajpr!ty;
Dm1Qc, 10 Republican; Nennha County elu!mei
by the pein,Mrats; Ealltic County Rupihlteanl,y
nboMt 400. The Detnocrats claim l'lnttc County
by 15o mnjorty. M ullIrEal count sci.
OMAHA, Mob, Nov. '7.-Al.lttt,nal returns
80 Senr'y Tic wSiaie Republican ticket Is
elected.
:, Fremont. Ecl,., Eayc heavy vote, tho lscpub
llcah snnjutity averaging 10.
Qloe County Is claimGtl by tho Democrats. II
Inns nlways given Democratic ina jorlttes.
., 6arpy Cou,str, la fnr rs heard from, gfycs 4
Republican majority OF 81.
Keith County gives about 80 Democratic ina-
jortsy.
Tic Third Ward OF this ctty gives Bucking-
linn. Democrat, for District Attorney, majori.
t.. IF 2}9.
faplattc lrcc[net, sarpy County, gives Dem-
ocrntc majority uf ~.
Fairn,ntlnt rrecs,.e1, Fillmore County, gives
10o majority OH tho chtirc ticket.
, 1876-11-08

kLUaEs
LAKE. CRY, Fla, Nov. 7.-Returus como In
slowly. Southern all Western rountIrs show
largs Democratic gains. Tho Republicans have
ANAL gums In the EASTERN counties. Tie pemo-
cruts tluiM tho State.
LOUISVILLE, KY, Nov. 7-ll:l5 y. m.-Tho
, 1876-11-08
MICHIGAN,

HAAA NbV4A ~
8p*adt Ntpatea 10 tbs Tribune,

GRASn isAnDs, Mich, Nov. 7.-lIuyes Inns a
majority Of about 400 In tllts city over Tilden, d
gun Of that number over 1874. 6tUrc, for Con-
eFeFs, goes out Of the city nbout cyon; tho
democrats und Grcenbackers united on the Con-
fFcssloaal nominee. Stone will llaya 600 to GOO
III Tue county and 11aycs 1,00O to 1,200.
lhe Town Of Lowell, In tllts county, gayc
Aa5ts lii majority; Algona, 90; ga!ns, about
10 1t Is reported that Iona County will giyy
e,oae, Republican, 1000 minority. The Town
u @selsott this county, always Domoeratlc hcrc-
,o!o'e, g'scs majority fur thu entire Ropub-
,sah Ticket 1t Is certain TINT tho entire 1sepub-
i!ean county ticket in this county Is elected, and
'la' m Judge stono will carry tho district II tho
e'Her counties do rs we'll ns those heard from,
sptctal hsuatcA 10 11s Tribune
last SAGINAW, Nov, 7.-Ilo eluctfon nasseil
~ ~ quietly and heaYy vote WIS ro]lcd. This
fp't{ pa{'gg gives 1lIden 113 majority; Wubber Soi;
% Ies.ss1ss L. Is,sss 5 hoyt Nepn6ltyan ts
'a: 'aoSas onehalt Of te townships In tho county @
1a'ase 19,aeau Democratic majority OF about $50;
,.aMI' s,a!' Republican, fur 6tatu Sunator, probably
,t.eM tyo1 M,y " sl'!all majority. 8aginaw Clty
III: ' ts'e ttqen ol ajority; Webbcr, a3; Potter,
itpis1"',ss n1oIaoerat ~ Tor Representative to tho
~'he'a'ugc, GN majority.
Ar, opteta! NspdteA to Ias IiIbsnA
a.. ,ALLIfotN, = M!rE., Nov. 7.-AjieTai. Towusll;n
vii ~ !. aao,lowinK naoritloa, Hayes, y: Cross-
Moo,c hea, esohc, hepubllcan, for Congress, q;
County is Republican, ''''"''''' u Ano
M,u,.rSaa*c Sa*c'e{ pf.paseA to The Tribune
DeI1ncs.ttsI aa!eh, NoF. 1-3lunlatcu City gocS
Return ;s oo tho National ticket by about 1a5.
pul!!sans u. ,.na1I goI1aIty towns may give the Re-
ss,;s,, set out Il WILL bc close. Tho HepnIlicaIa
isH.itaay eject a Representative to lie Htnln
txe!al're txe anu gain 100 votcs over tt. elcctio,,
''~'s sassa1 as:a ~ nIi., atu gsneFal Ticket.
,ss sasD ksrps' icI, Nos dss iesJSs @R:trns from
I,yes shons s, s'Htss1 IN towns LII this rounsy give
Lima "u aiaic ticket Ia Republican by about tfla
eoas,p @ @a|g{1ty t' ~ llayes Thv halanco ii tic
shout IN =" +. .AnasIeasc the Republican majority
@p|oGan @a|oti,s:a r rsonnty ticket has from 1, ID
10 lie Ht,,ten tng ioar Representatives. and scllatr
vi b. S..s,L Legislature from t]lis county Mill
nlss1.soiv, sr, No. 1.';:1o5td a = t,, t,ve,rs
pu6I,a1f s1fty.Wo townshpa gtyc uyes ,,ot ill.,
,sms = icon compared with the Yots Of lSTl5 rio
Gvye,nasurs ausna n EIyo Csasswel,, Republican, for
fls,umaI.a . net majority Ut 4&1.
Ilaye. ,st Rtowi,',,hips md prcclwts gives
tuo AHe IL gain vt 3,ls3 rs cotnnarc,i viii tbu
kspuIlIin1,;;. ~. Tns aa,.so towns Eyu crossreli, @ M
etaet. l. n! Ny. 7-lo;l5 D. n-Eiehtscmn n prc. .
l,ot l,9i7 S!s ei1y show not Democratic major
Returns f,o,n ~ init,sIostatlo gain OF about 100
2sis a.a1o.1ty alA, net Dsln5crat,c e1 rai,, nf
ii. . .as Mtaparrd With 1873, e3'' ~
II Gofs,nsos.e s .ewns glyc Crosswell, {Republ,cau)
s''fo7 net minority Of 848.
, 1876-11-08
MINNESOTA.

s1 pfunLlcAN p.a! GoNGaHssMaN RzEcrpp.
hyo,r,as,. . .s1ut', Nov. 7.-Re1usns Eccriycd
publican ,n.' u'lleato full vote, and heavy Re-
tell, Ncnn,",ly ,"",loH'y oi the general tlckut, Dun.
stl h''eat'. he s, lii Fist Congressional district.
IIh!nl, a,I Iiss.ed; ,; Stewurt, Republican. In The
s.ond. 'foDab'y Strait, Aspubjican, Ii thv
95sn lSj; Ilsssssu. SSsuty tacsssnt Towa.l,lp, I'll.
s, s, Ipspuhiisan, 50. ss'sS'na''' oeu1oesat'
S'apletv.. ;,,:sl Alnn; Nov. 7.-st puul, nearly
ttA for T1.iaaa T1nsa Democratic luajory u ,eariy
w Cvnrrss.a aeh ana atout thv sali,e for .IsNair
psst, b. but very lnrump,e,e, return. t,om
'9o'~aa coagre4ssucn. Struts ilit-
, 1876-11-08

puhlican) majority III the Second Distrlct will be
Bniafl but fiA election is conceded by the Dem
ocrnts.
Eleven precincts In Minneapolis give Haycs
AWl, Tlk1cn, Bios: Stewart, Republican, for
Congress, 100; AfeNalr. Democrat :2,,5775.
, 1876-11-08

6tato Central Committee hayo dispatches c1nm-
Ing 1900 majority In Clalbourne Parish and
1000 majority in 1lncotn Parish, net gain Of
oycr 800 in the two parishes.
Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-10-12

There weren't much of a freight
home, and the trip to New York didn't
pay expenses, and come to settle all up,
they found that what with sums ad-
vanced to his wife and what he'd spent
on the v'yage, this here Kennebunkport
skipper had overdrawd about 81, ,OOO.
It won't surprise you if I tell you that
they begin for to think about this time
that it were best to try some one else in
the jackass brig, and atwixt the two old
Quakers they argued it some consldera-
bly. One on 'em were for doin' it any
how, but the other said: "Thee knows,
Gideon" which we've his name, that
he had power of 'turny to sell, and ne
didn't do it; now, if we turn him ont
and put another skipper in, he may go
and sell and put the money in his
pocket, and 80 we'd lose not only the
arnin's, but the jackass brig likewise.
Besides, he owes us money, and If we
don't keep him to work that out, that
will be dead loss"
There's truth in what thee says,
Reuben" says the other Quaker, and so
they tried the Kennebunkport chap for
another v'yage, and he went off and sold
the vessel and topped his boom and
sailed large, and they never seen him
nor the jackass brig no more World.
Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-10-12
Why he Did 1t.

The Cincinnati Enquirer tells, in H.
lustration of Mr.. Kerr's simplicity, a
delicious story. 1t is to the effect that
when the Pacific Mail subsidy was on
it's final passage the lobby that had been
sorely troubled by the attacks of Mr..
Kerr inquired eagerly for their enemy.
Gentlemen" responded Sam Ward
more generally known as Uncle Samuel,
king of the lobby-"Mr. Kerr is sick,
and I am his nurse" Kerr was already
too Ill to be out of his bed, and some
time after, at little dinner party where
the eminent Congressman was, the name
of Ward was mentioned. "That is a
singular man," said Kerr; "I have
known him for some timeas one OF those
lobbyists, and had treated him rather
rough on two occasions. Do you know
last summer when I was so very i'll he
not only sent me beautiful flowers and
costly wines, but came and nursed me
as if I had been his child or brother. u
"He is as kind hearted an old fellow as
the Lord permits to ive," responded
one, conversant with the facts; but his
solicitude exhibited in your behalf,
Kerr, did not come altogether of kind
heart" and he then proceeded, amid
roars of laughter, to tell why Sam Ward
nursed M. G. Kerr.
Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-10-12
Keep On Churning.

After the battle of Long Island, which
was fought Aug. 27, one hundred years
ago, and after the capture of New York
city by the British, Gen. Howe made
+ his headquarters in New York, leaving
Staten Island in command of Col. Dal-
rymple. The wounded from the bloody
Brooklyn field were taken to the island
and billeted upon the farmhouses. 1t
was aowe's custom to visit the tempo
rary hospitals regularly, in order to sat
isfy himself that his men were receiving
proper care. On one occasion, during
a heavy storm, he and his staff took
shelter under farmhouse shed. Farm
er Cole, seeing the party outside, ap-
preached them with hearty invitation
to enter the house and rest till the storm
should subside. Mrs. Cole was churn-
ing in the kitchen, and the guests oocu-
pied the sitting-room. "We are very
hungry" said a member of the staff
"can you give us something to eat2"
81 can't leave my churns" said the
practical housewife.
"I'll churn for you," said splendid
ly uniformed officer.
Forthwith he was set to work, Mrs.
Cole having taught him how to use the
dasher.
As she proceeded with the culinary
work, ever and anon she glanced at the
toiling officer. "Well," said she to his
brother officers, "if he can't use the
sword better than the churn dasher, he
must be mighty poor soldier"
This sally raised hearty laugh, in
which the volunteer churner joined
heartily. He kept on gallantly, the per-
spiration streaming from every pore. 1t
was the hardest work he had ever done
in his Life. ga.
"That's right" said Mrs. Cole, en-
couragingly; "keep on long enough
and you'll fetch butter"
When the storm had ceased the mill
tary gentlemen took their leave, first
Offering to pay for their entertainment.
"We don't keep tavern" said Mrs.
Cole, with the short and decisive snap
of the Independent farmers wife; and
the officers rode away.
"Keep on long enough and you'll
fetch butter" became household ex-
preston in the British army, and was
taken to the other side of the water,
where it was uttered many a time to
encourage those who were striving to
accomplish results under difficulties. A
short time after the occurrence at the
farmhouse, Mrs. Cole received a parcel
from New York. It contained splen-
did black silk dress and letter of
thanks and compliments from Gen. Sir
William Howe. It was he who had done
the churning. The dress is an heirloom
in the Cole family, and the letter is pre-
served as one of the few pleasant remi-
niscences of a war in which the weaker
party carried out to a successful issue
the suggestion made by the farmers
wife: "Keep on long enough and you'll
fetch butter. Sun.
Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-10-12
FIogging a Garroter In England.

A prisoner named William Leonard,
who was convicted of highway rob-
berry with violence from young lady,
received recently in Newgate the first
installment of the forty lashes awarded
him. The prisoner had been previously
fogged in 1870 for similar offense, and
the present is said to be almost the only
instance in which the punishment OF the
cat has not proved effectual in prevent
ing the offender from repeating acts OF
violence and Mr.. Commissioner Kerr,
having regard to this fact and to the
prisoners previous bad character, SEN
fenced him to undergo two separate
Aoggings of twenty lashes each at an
interval of one month, and then to be
kept in penal servitude for seven years.
The prisoner. it is stated, greatly dread
ed the punishment, and frequently ap-
pealed to the governor torelieve him from
it, representing that he was i'll and un-
able to bear the fogging. DR.. Gibson,
the medical officer of the prison, was
consulted, but he could find no reason
in the condition of the prisoner to JUS
tify any remission OF the punishment.
The moment he was brought into the
room where the punishment was to be
inflicted, the reporter says, he began
bowling and appealing to Mr.. Smith
and DIR. Gibson to have mercy upon
him, and it was with some difficulty that
he was fixed to the whipping block.
At the first stroke he shrieked for mercy,
and urged the warden who was admin
istering the punishment not to give it to
him too hard. He continued shrieklng
and crying all the time the punishment
was being inflicted, and when it was com.
pleted he pretended to faint, and ne was
taken back to his cell.
Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-10-12
The HOllering Woman.

There is, says the Burlington Ha,Ok-
eye, one "hollering woman" in every
street. A woman who never goes after
anybody, but always calls across the
street; who never looks for her children,
but rushes to the front gate and shrieks
for them, until, in the pauses of her
shouting, she hears them answering
from the room she has just left. Every
street has one hollering woman" No
street has more, for as soon as two
"holleripg women" are thrown by pitt
less fate upon one street, the neighbors
vacate and immigrate until rents come
Town, or, as it often happens, one of
the hollering women" pulls up stakes
and goes elsewhere, for they cannot
brook opposition. The hollering
woman generally manages to keep her
street in a lively state of elocutionary
excitement, and if you happen to live
within understanding distance your di-
urnal serenade is something like this:
"Tommy Tom-mee! Tommy! Oh,
Tom You Toni Come right along
here and break up some of this dry
wood, or I'll break your back Mary |!
You Mar-ree You get right down off
that tree box this mint, you great tom.
boy, o. I'll skin you within an inch of
your life Ma-reea Oh, Miss Pink,
hard2 Miss Pinkhard !! Oh-h-h Miss
Pinkhard ! Won't you tell your milk
man when he comes to stop at my gate 2
Mine come this morning before we was
up. Erasmus Erasmus E-e-ras-
mus ! E-e-ras-mus ! Come right home
and take this pail of molasses right back
to the grocery and tell him if he can't
send what I ordered I don't want any !!
Erasmus, I say! Oh, Miss Haralson
How's the baby's measlesa Did you try
that tea I sent over last night! Who
cut your new polonaisea Ma-ree
Mary! Where's Emeline gone to, I'd
like to know2 Didn't I tell you not to
let her go out of your sight minute
Now, you hunt her up and bring her
right home. Good morning, Mrs. Bar
naby! Did you know they was burglars
ever to Troopses last nighta Got in at
the kitchen winder and took a pair OF
Mr.. Throop's pants with dollar and q
half in 'em, and Miss Throop's big JET
breastpin Where are you going Tom.
myi Tommeel Oh, Tom Mary, ]
saw Erasmus ! Oh, Miss Pinkhard |!
The serenade continues at random all
day long, and is familiar to every one
who has lived within gunshot of the
hollering woman"
Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1876-10-12
The Philosophy Of 1t.

Why do love you2 1 don't know!
They say love never gives reason;
But that he has one don't doubt,
Do you2 You do! That's downright tres
son.
Not always, let me telh6ou, sir,
Love practiced such excess Of prudence;
Twas once his custom to explain
The why and wherefore to his students.
And how to solve each puzzling case
He taught by rule and Illustrations;
But skeptics, such as you, have made
Love shy Of giving demonstrations.
Why foolish mortsls love at all,
Why we two bold each other dearest;
How long twill last, aud where twill end.
You'd like to know, you precious querist?
You never will I'll tell you that,
Yet still maintain my first assertion;
Love understands what he's about,
And blinds you, first, for his diversion.
:Ah, why love you! II knew,
Iwou d not tell you-no, no, never!
For souls like yours were made to seek,
And m.ns to hide, you see, forever.
There's little, sir, you uon't find out,
But since that little makes life pleasant,
think I'll keep it secret still,
And 80 keep you, too, for the present.