The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1876-11-09
The Day After the Wedding.

| 1t was only last evening that 1 heard,
through the thin partition of our hotel,
(and they are all just frail enough to see
through them that which proved to me
that moon which should have been sweet,
because it was evidently new the day be-
fore, had reached its last-quarter inside of
twenty-four hours. 4 low, soprano voice
said:
Freddy, dear you haven't told me how
you liked the arrangement of my hair yes
terday. The new barber, who is Just in
town, dressed it for me-"
Indeed ?" answered bass voice. "Then
the new barber belongs to the Idiot
tribe for, to tell the plain truth, your hair
looked like the devil And my aunt-al
the way from Newport, to see it, too /
wish she had stayed at home, and had sent
on her blessing and her teapots and her
berry-spoons by express, and had not looked
you over in such scientific manner. |
know just what she thought of you by the
squint of her eyes. She said to herself :;
Case of puppy love Good figure, but
trife too plump. Color wants toning down
with powder. Pleasant eyes, good teeth,
voice so-so-ish, no style, and not verv rich.
if ingram carpets and dingy hair-cloth sofas
may be trusted to tell the story. Her hair
is really handsome, but it looks like an ami
mated mares nest When she visits me,
my maid shall overthrow that structure be-
fore any of my set get look at it. Ifa
girl belongs to the country, why don't she
/ h.r fl,of L.
and position, and not put matronly French
head upon young Pennsylvania girl? If
| were Fred, [ would tumble the intricate
thing down, and keep to simplicity l am
sure he didn't fall in love with the girl
when she was topped off in that style /?
Crying? Why, you poor little duck
didn't mean to set you swimming so soon );
and there was no need of my telling you at
all. But you asked me about the hair Just
at the wrong time. That Internal Exhibi-
ton is too big, and has too many things in
1t that fellow imagines he must see or die
inside of week | wish | had stayed at
home. Don't cry That's dear girl !''
'No-b-body wanted your stuck-up old
aunt to come to the wedding l d-d-didn't
like her any m-m-more than she did me
She l-l-looked like an old sh-sh-she-pea-
coek-so she did |! She p-p-pranced around
as if sh-sh-she owned the whole village l
d-d-don't want her plated teapots and be-
be-berry spoons I've got real silver ones
which were my own mothers. III never
| g-g-go to her house so she needn't WV
worry about my hair. l didn't buy it !
That is one thing that sh-sh-she can't sayI'
'Why, you poor, tired, but plucky little
woman L didn't know you had such a
temper. And l don't believe you did have
it until we worried ourselves all out trying
to see everything from.
Greeuland's icy mountains
I To India's coral ssraEtP
in one short day. Let us forgive each
other. Don't cry, and let US forget all
about the hair and my aunt-that's a sweet
girl My head aches, my eyes ache, my
back aches, my feet are blistered, | am
hungry, and you are trying to make my
heart ache and only the second day, tool"
''You began it ! But if you want to for
give me, you can do it just when you like" ="
"No, no, dear didn't do any such
thing 1t was the Exposition that started
the quarrel. If you'll overlook what
said, I'll promise to sit on the balcony of
the grand conservatory at least one-half the
time tomorrow, listen to the music and to
you, and look at the flowers, and the park,
and"
Where every prospect pleases, and only
man is vile, added the appropriated bride,
with quickness that does not often be-
long to the natives of her State. "My head
is in whirl of India rugs, furniture,
japanese lacquer, italian carvings, the little
boy in markble who didn't want to say his
prayers, acres of pictures, Corliss engine,
washing machines, and an dLtoreliero head
of some woman or other moulded in butter
and kept on ice, fogbell that sounds as if
there was perpetual weekday prayer
meeting or an everlasting funeral, and now
your aunt has rushed into my mind to set
me quite crazy
| heard a kiss or two, cropping and
soothing sort of sound from the bass voice,
woman sobbing out her anger and weari-
ness preparatory to resuming smiling
good nature and pitied the poor young
man because he couldn't cry and rest him
self after the wearisome day, just as the
bride was doing under his petting and COM
forting love and comprising By-and-by [
heard a gurgling little cough, and half
hysterical and half-merry voice exclaim
"If was to marry again hundred
times, l would never 90 to Centennial
Exposition to spend the first week of mar
ried life p
Whereupon she bass voice mockingly
asked
"Have you arranged any other plan ex-
cept this for your next wedding 2"
| knew that he wanted to inquire if she
had engaged the same barber but he did
not Her temper and her wit were too
much for him to eBeoanter when he was
all worn out with the Exhibition, and with
the scramble foF life to get anywhere and
j 4 ID IL l. i