The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1876-03-04

The Bald Headed BGby.

The Bald Headed Baby.
She had him carefully wrapped up as sh'
entered the street car, but after getting seated
she removed the shawl, and the bald headed
baby was given shake, twist, flop, and
came right end up, with his big blue eyes wide
open.
Some of the people on the car merely glanced
at little bald head-looked just long enough
to be able to swear, if they were called, that il
was baby instead of goat. Other smiled
pityingly as they thought of his bald head
breasting the cold blasts of winter, and
wondered if woe, and poverty and sorrow had
prevented growth on his pate.
Presently an old man left his seat near the
front end of the car, and bonding over the
child he asked of its mother:
"My dear woman, do you want to do me q
great favor?"
"Why-why, SIR" she stammered in con
fusion.
"I have not long to live, for 1 am old and
feeble" he continued, "but before die desire
to lay my hand on that bady's head"
She made no objection, and he placed his
4
hand on the pate, moved il this way and that
and asked:
"Madam, have you given this child a cogno
men yet?"
Eyes, sir, we've named him, she replied"
"And, madam, allow me to hope that it is a
name beftting the intellectual appearance of
the child"
"We call him Bascomb," she replied in a
whisper.
"Bascomb capital! You don't known what
load you have taken from my heart. fear
ed you had, like many other people, named
him after some big man or woman, or horse,
or something. You are sensible, you are, and
if was brass band, I'd come around and
serenade you this very evening"
She was very red in the face from embar-
rassment, but he only the baby, whose
bald head kept trying to dodge out from under
his hand.
Eyes, Pm truly glad" he presently c0ntin-
ued, ''that you didn't name him George Wash
ington. Washington was deceiver as sure as
you're born, though lots OF Americans hate to
own it, Did you never hear that Washington
once stole cider mill?"
"N-no"
"You didn't? Why it wasn't but two weeks
before his death that he stole a cider mill from
nice old Baptist minister, and if he hadn't
died when he did he would have been jailed
and made to pay smart money. If you had
named this child after Washington, never
could have met him without feeling my heart
ache over you lack of judgment"
Little bald head shrank up to his mother,
and she turned and looked out of the window.
The old man, however, continued:
"And I'm glad you didn't name him after
Daniel Webster Mr.. Webster was good pub
lie speaker and he knew considerable about
business, but he wasn't the man he was crack
ed up to be. Why, madam, that same Daniel
Webster was caught with ham on his shoul-
der on one dark night when he was the
most popularist, and he had to pay $500 to set
tie it. He was big man and it was all hush.
ed up, while you and l, madam, would have
been jerked to Jail in a wink, because we are
only common folks. 1t makes me shiver to
think of how you might have named this boy
Daniel Webster and blasted his bald head for
life'
,sssa--=-4--l.~l ct the hAll--~n. and thA',.
afound the car, but there Vas no apparentes-
cape.
"And you might have named him Patrick
Henry" softly continued the cid man as he
rubbed the baby's head over again. Named
him after man who'd hook fish of'n an or
phan boys fish line. know what I'm talk
ing about madam. Patrick Henry had quite
a good learning and he wore good clothes, and
you could not geta counterfeit blu en- him, but
he had his balky tricks after all. Would you be
lieve, madam, that he would walk seven miles
on a dark night to hook seed wheat?"
The bald headed baby had got tired of the
thing, and now began to cry. The old man
rudged him in the ribs and observed:
"Bascsmb, be good boyl When you grow
up, my son, beware of polygamy, Brighamy.
and the many evil influences to be met with
around corner grocery"
And he raised his eyes to the mother and ad-
ded:
"Well I don't know as can give you any
hints as to how you had best bring him up. II
you ever get sick of him I'd take him in
minute, for there is something about his head
which has touched tender spot and made me
love him."
She was yet four blocks from home but she
pulled the bell.
"And Pm glad you didn't name him after
General Jackson" said the old man as he pat
ted the bald head for the last time. General
jackson whipped the British in New Orleans,
to be sure, but what about passing counter
felt ten-cent note on General Lafayette? If
you'd named that baby after General Jackson
1 should have wept-going, eh? Goodbye,
my son, and don't never walk on the railroad
track, and don't try to sit down on picket
fence"