Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-03-08

dollar to his pastor with note, saying:
"Here's dollar in addition to the three
shillings' worth Of strawberries [ gave
you last summer"
The WeafeM Toavasmaass Of last week
refers to very "much married
family, some. of which live in that vi
cinity-five men of the family having
had twelve wives, and four women hay
had ten husbands.
A WHITE boy upon meeting colored
boy asked him what he had so short
nose for, upon which the darkey re-
piled! 81 s'pect it's so I won't be polk
ing my nose into other peoples bust
ness"
ONE of our Yonkers lawyers says it is
easier to transact business at the City
Court clerks Office On Sunday than any
other day, as it is open more on that
kers Gazette.
THIS couplet may be seen upon an
old tavern sign in Connecticut, consist
ing of gate swinging from the limb Of
at rec before the house:
This gate hangs well, and binders none,
Refresh, and pay, and travel on.
A OVERLOOKING genius, says the New
Orleans Republican,, was complaining
that the chances were against him. He
wept like old Eccles, and said, "What
I need is scope" Bates comprehend
ed the situation and said, "Dat's
fact. What he needs is soap"
WIFE (anxious about her dinner
party: 40, Charles what do you
think this precious pet of yours has
been doing? He's eaten the turkey
and sausages W Husband anxious
about his St. Bernard's digestion):
"Good heaven, Marie Not raau, I
trust ?"
AN absent minded youth belonging
in Saco recently went three miles into
the woods to lock for cartridges, with
view Of capturing few of them. At
last he espied one of these shy birds of
the forest, and when he got ready to
take aim he discovered for the first
time that, although his powder and
shot were with him, che had left his
gun at home"
You won't catch me subscribing
any more money toward the church"
said one man to another as they were
walking down the avenue one morn
ing, "Why not" asked the second
party. Because" was the answer,
amt going to give any money for
nothing they never publish the sub
scription hst.-Intey- Ocean.
AT Saarbruck, where Louis Napole-
on's boy had his "baptism Of fire."
there stands stone post in which
brass plate is set, bearing the German
inscription, Lulu's First Debut, Au-
gust 2, 1870" The tourists have Clipped
the post all over, and cut up the trees
that formerly shaded "Lulu," into SOU
venirs.
A STEILAoooM (W. IT, man while
going home the other night heard loud
cries of distress, and upon ivestigation
found an intoxicated individual en-
bracing telegraph pole, holding on to
his ear with his thumb and forefnger,
and yelling let go to his supposed as
sailant
The Courier de Lyons quotes an ex-
ception to the rule that only people
with empty pockets drown themselves.
A spinster of the tender age of forty
seven threw herself into the Saone,
having previously tied her pet pug to
her waist. The act was noticed and the
two inseparables were rescued, when,
to the amazement of all, 10000 francs
in bank notes were found on the per-
son of the cratic young lady.
THERE is certain class of man
whose doom in the world Is disappoint-
ment, who excels in it, and whose luck
less triumphs in his meek career of
life l have often thought must be re-
garded by the kind eyes above with as
much favor as the splendid success and
achievements of coarser and more
prosperous men.-Thackeruy.
Mr.. LINCOLN used to tell in his inim-
table way story of Winchester con-
verted Confederate, who was so over
joyed at receiving his pardon that he
exclaimed: "Thank you, Mr.. Presi-
dent Thank you! Now Pm pardoned
| s'pose I'm as good a Union man as
any Of you; emphatically one of you
again. But didn't Stonewau jackson
give us fits in the valley?''
How we delight to build our recol
lections upon some basis of reality-a
place, a country, a local habitation
How the events of life, as we look back
upon them, have grown into the we'll
remembered background of the places
where they fell upon us Here is some
sunny garden or some sunny lane.
beautiful and canonized forever with
the flood of great joy; and here are
dim and silent places-rooms always
Swallowed and dark to us, whatever
they may be to others where distress
or death came once, and since then
dwells forever more Washington ha-
ing.
Mr. WYLIE, the noted checker player
for some time has been endeavoring to
make match atthegame with Barker,
sklllful player, who lives at Chelsea,
M Massachusetts,. Last Saturday after
noon Barker disguised himself, went to
Mr.. Wylie's room and solicited a game.
After five moves had been made Mr..
Wylie discovered who his opponent
was, and refused to play unless the
game was begun anew. Considerable
excitement and feeling was created
among the friends of the two players