Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1876-08-11
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
KILN business-brick making.
THE worst dog out-the dog Days

THE worst dog out-the dog Days"
BEATING time-Stealing awhile away.
CAN chiropodists be said to practice tn
heeling art
THE roads that do a smashing business
the trunk lines.-N. Y. Commercial I'D
geftiser.
''LADIEs, without distinction of sex,
are invited to mass-meeting at Dublin
with generosity Characteristic of the no
BILE Hibernian.
The only father that is exempt from TAX
ing care of his baby daughter is the loco
motive engineer. He cannot leave his en-
gine and tender.
You cannot convince a dog with q
string of tire-crackers attached to his mar
rative that the American Republic is 8
complete success.
Two eggs, which had been left in a nest
by a discouraged duck at Oneida, N. Y,
few days ago, were subsequently Matched
out by the hot weather.
The scorn of the whole people is de.
servedly cast on anyone detected in pluck
ing our Eagles wings to feather his own
nest,-R. @. Winthrop.
A CHICAGO boy has decided that " a
teller may run away from work and 60
tshing, but he'll feel kinder unhappy and
suspicious all day long"
Mrs. G.. B. DUFFEY puts her views of
her sex in this way: " Woman though |
am, | have always been great admirer of
female beauty-at least am sure | should
be If l ever found any to admire"
THE Burlington Havk- Eye is inclined
to harbor the conviction that, "No man
can realize the geological history of crea-
ton, the slow, regular development and
shaping OF things in the slow unfolding
centuries and ages, until he has watched a
gang OF men at work on the streets"
JOHN HENRY, reading to his wife from
newspaper: "'Theres not a single
woman in the House of Correction. There,
you see, don't you, what wicked creatures
wives are? Every woman in that jail is
married" 1t is curious" said she; /;
but don't you think, John, dear, that
some of them go there for relief?"
Lucy HOOPER writes, for the informa-
ton OF American bellies, that the price of
titled husbands has risen Under the cir
cumstances it will probably be best for
our girls to take up with the average or
gan grinder, saving the cost of ocean
passage and the price of the bridegroom,
besides getting as good an article. We
must economize.-iSt. Louis Republican.
THE servants at Niagara hotels have
gotten so in the habit of addressing those
upon whom they wait at the table as
Count, Baron, Your Lordship, Your Ex-
cellency, etc, that they addressed plain
John Smith at dinner the other day as
Baron. He thinking allusion was made
to the top of his head (which is barren of
hair was very indignant, and made formal
complaint at the office.
Nor long since one of our preachers
exhorted his hearers to learn to say MOI"
The other day this preacher was soliciting
aid for benevolent purposes, and was sur
prlsed to find that great many had al
ready learned 10 say it with degree of
frmness that could not be mistaken.
but these little exhortations are not to be
sneczed at. They tell every time.
BAsHFULNEss is an inherent quality of
woman. A dozen women may be gathered
together every soul of them talking at
rate of forty miles an hour, when the un-
announced entrance of solitary, weak
looking man will throw pail of silence
over the assembly with an abruptness that
battles the most searching investigation for
a clue to what they were talking about.
Two PEOPLE got married yesterday, and
they acted sensibly indeed. All day long
they were fixing up their house. The
woman vowed she wouldn't marry till she
'seed everything fixed" Hand in hand
they were as busy as bees walking these
streets and buying provisions and furni-
ture for the house. And at last, when all
was done, the woman walked down and
peeped in and said, "Now, John, I'll
marry you," and they went and were mar
ried, and marched straight down into a
snug little home. There wasn't Saratoga
trunk or single unpaid tailor's bill in
the whole eremony.-RGlefgh IN. o.
Standard.
A STRONG OBJECTION. N.-"Are you salts
fed with the jury, gentlemen ?' said
Judge Noonan this morning. after the jury
had been impaneled. eve are, said the
lawyers in chorus. A tall, gaunt figure
rose up solemnly in the jury-box and said
impressively; But I'm not" "What's
your objection, Mr.. Snooks?" inquired
on my right, your Honor, has been eating
onions" collection overruled; 90 on
with the case" observed Judge NOonan,
with a significant glance at the Sheriff; and
the tall man sat down resignedly and held
white handkerchief to his nose as a kind
OF signal OF distress. s.-EhmirG Gazette
THE Council Bluffs NonpareA relates a
little incident which occurred at the trans
fer some time ago, showing the wonderful
power of the imagination upon the human
mind. A coffin shaped box was received
there from the East to be forwarded over
the Union Pacific Road. 1t was billed as
containing corpse, but was accompanied
by no certificate, as is customary in such
cases, to show that the person died of no
contagious disease. In consequence of
this the Union Pacific refused to receive
it, and it was placed in one of the store
buildings on the platform to await further
advices. The telegraph was brought into
requisition, but some little time elapsed
before any information could be obtained.
In the meantime the box became very Of
fensive on account Of the smell which en-
anated from it. The workmen would not
approach or pass by it only when absolute
ly necessary. At last a dispatch was re-
ceived stating that the box contained no
corpse, but metallic corpse ventilator;
that the shipping clerk at the point from
which it was sent had in haste omitted to
add the word "ventilator'-the bill read
ing, " One box containing a corpse" The
relief to the officials was instantaneous,
and the workmen failed to discover, as
they hurriedly placed the box on their