The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-11-24
Wit and humOr.

Wit and hum0r.
A LoNDoNER's sneeze-" Ca-ca-cat
show"
ARE your words of more weight when
you PROFOUND anything than when you
announce it
BUDD DoBLE's trodding adimal Codes
bith Bald will widter in Cadifordia.
Norristoaon Herald.
"THAT's the only wedding trip shall
probably ever take, said an old bache-
Tor, as he stumbled over brides train.
"IT's all for the best" remarked
Blinks, with sigh, as he paid for the
hat he had lost. "Nay," interposed the
lucky man, "'tis all for the better"
COUNTRY gent Qately citizen, who
has just missed an easy shot: Con-
found the thing /" Giles with the bag):
"Oh, Measter don't wish as I'd had
a stoan y
SOME one says: 4" 1t is not healthy
to go into the water after hearty meal"
And then some one else asks 4: Chow
about fish-hawks-can't they go in after
a hearty meal! I"
"WHAT is heavens best gift to man 2"
asked young lady on Sunday night,
smiling sweetly on a pleasant looking
clerk. GA horse" replied the young
man, with great prudence.
| A BULGARIAN girl, it seems, was given
to Turkish soldier in lieu of pay. Lord
Derby regards the transaction as
lend one, and blarsted Bulgar way of
paying ones debts.-Inter-O Ocean.
"IF you can't keep awake" said a
parson to one of his hearers, "when you
of snuff" CT think" was the reply,
"the snuff should be put into the ser
mon."
A LITTLE girl, A years old, created a
ripple by remarking to the teacher of
| her Sunday-school class "Our dogs
dead. 1 bet the angels was scared when
they saw him coming up the path. He
ID cross to strangers. %
EDWIN "And now, darling, how are
we to keep our marriage q profound
secreti" Angelina promptly: "Nothing
easier, Edwin dear. You have only to
behave to me as you have always done,
and nobody will suspect it.
IT is related of DIR. Garth, in his last
illness, when he saw his fellow-doctors
consulting together at his bedside, that
he raised his head from his pillow, and
said, with a smile "Dear gentlemen,
let me die natural death.
GIRL make mar fool
| See history for that
Can make a dress by Fashions rule,
| Or trim dainty hat.
But oft-from gaping crowds apart
I've pondered with surprise
! On this: her rsrest, dearest art
You know, is making eyes"
SOME one was praising the British
public schools to Charles Landseer, and
said Gall our best men were public
school men. Look at our poets. There's
Byron, he was Harrow boy" EYES,"
interrupted Charles, "and there's
Burnside was a plowboy.'
IT is not surprising to learn that
veterinary surgeon who committed
suicide in New York the other day shot
himself with Colts revolver. There
would have been similar appropriateness
in his selection of aeath- dealing weapon
had he chosen e horse pistol. |Vashino
tom Star.
GUEST "Good-by; enjoyed our.
selves so much! - Host $50 sorry
you are going. Now, can't we persuade
you7 How the time has flown. Hope
we shall see ag-" Coachman ICON
/ tidentially): "Will Oh make 'em too
late for the thrain, sor' 1 can asy-"
His master Tin dumb show) "If you
dare, sir ! Drive like the p
Punch.
The Cheyenne Leader tells of man
whose horse fell over a calf and thus
killed him instantly" Which, now, was
killed-the man, the horse or the calf
/ There Is a dreadful uncertainty about
this, somewhere. - Chicago Journal.
| Not ut all, sir. If the man fell over
we mean if the calf and horse-or rather
the man had performed double SOM
or-ah, the horse-oh, doggone it isn't
worth figuring on. Something was
killed, though. Cheyenne Leader.
Now HERE comes solemn old fogy in
amorning paper, Directing to fun, Jokes,
puns, etc. That man would whip his
only boy for laughing after sunset-not
at sunset. Object to the little laughter
of the time We should like to engage
that man and set up vinegar factory.
One reflection of his awful face in a
barrel Of croton water would make
hogshead Ono reflection OH the head) of
the sharpest kind of vinegar. The
Knight of the Rucful Countenance still
lives.-New York Evening Mail.
MERCHANTS GARGLING OIL.-This
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