The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-09-15
S'pOsin'.

While Judge Copley was sitting in his
Office the other day, looking over some
law papers, the door opened and man
hobbled in upon crutches. Proceeding to
chair, and making cushion of some
newspapers, he sat down very gingerly:
placed bandaged leg upon another chair
and said:
Judge, my name is Briggs. called in,
Judge, to get your opinion about little
point of law.
"Mr. Judge, s'posin' you lived up the
pike here half mile. next door to a man
named johnson. And s'posin' you and
johnson was to get into an argument about
the human intellect, and you was to say to
johnson that splendid illustration of the
superiority of the human intellect was to
be found in the power of the human eve
to restrain the ferocity OLA wild animal =
And s'posin' johnson was to remark that
that was all bosh, because nobody could
hold wild animal with the human eye |;
and you should declare that you could
hold the savagest beast that was ever
born II you could once fix your gaze on
him.
! swell, then, s'posin' johnson was to say
he'd bet hundred dollars he could bring
tame animal that you couldn't hold with
your eye, and you was to take him up on
1T, and Johnson was to ask you to come
down to his place to settle the bet. You'd
go, we'll say, and Johnson'd wander around
to the buck of the house and pretty soon
come front again with dog bigger'n any
four decent dogs ought to be. And then,
s'posin' Johnson'd let go of that dog and
sick him on you, and he'd come at you like
a sixteen-inch shell out of howitzer, and
you'd get skeery about it, and try to hold
the dog with your eye and couldn't. And
s'posin' you'd suddenly conclude that
maybe your kind of an eye wasn't calcuat-
to hold that kind of dog, and you'd con-
clude to break for plum tree, in order to
have chance to collect your thoughts,
and try to reflect what sort of an eye would
be best calculated to mollify that sort of q
dog
"You ketch my idea, of course Very
well, then; sposin' you'd take your eye off
of that dog johnson, mind you, all the
time sicking him on and laughing; and
you'd turn and leg it for the tree, and be-
gin to swarm up as fast as you could
Well, sir, s'posin' just as you got three feet
from the ground, J ohnson's dog would grab
you by the leg and hold on like a wise,
shaking you until you nearly lost your
hold. And s'posin' Johnson was to stand
there and holler:
"'Fix your eye on him, Briggs! Why
don't you manifest the power of the human
intcllect?
"And so on-gassing away with ironical
remarks like those; and s'posin' he kept
that dog on that leg until he made you
swear to pay the bet, and then, at last, had
to pry the dog off with hot poker, bring
ing away at the same time half pound of
your meat in the dogs mouth, 50 that you
had to be carried home on stretcher, and
to hire four doctors TO keep you from dy-
ing with lockjaw.
"S'posin' this, what | want to know is,
couldn't you sue johnson for damages, and
make him pay heavily for what that dog
did That is what Il want to get
at"
The judge thought for a minute and then
said:
swell, Mr.. Briggs, don't think could
If agreed to let johnson set the dog at |
me, should be party to the transaction,
and | could not recover
"Do you mean to say that the law won't |
make that Internal scoundrel johnson, suf- |
fer for letting his dog eat me upa"
81 think not, if you state the case prop |
ery."
at won't hey 2" exclaimed Mr.. Briggs, |
Historically. "Oh, very well very we'll
It's beautiful government, this is! Beau
tiful, amt it2 | spose if that dog had
chewed Inc all up, and spit me out, it'd've
been all the same to this constitutional re-
public. But blame me i'll don't have sat
4 =
dog and immigrate to some country where
the rights of citizens are protected. If |
don't you may may bust me open.
Then Mr.. Briggs got on his crutches and |
hobblcd out.
He is still citizen and will vote at the
next election.-Mdg Adeler.