Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1876-04-12


. teacher of German, was once very much
disturbed by an unruly bench full OF
juniors.
At last, in his despair, he exclaimed
, ssThat bench will leave the room and
T will stay outside"
Whereup0n the young rascals carried
, ont the bench and left Ii outside, and
. blandly returned to other seats.
"No, no." said the professor, u DC
not mean that, mean the young men
. viii go out and the bench will return.
! So the young men brought BACK the
bench and set on 1t, as through TINS was
( all that could reasonably be expected ol
them. ii
, Another professor, who was the pink
. of propriety, was sadly Disconnected IN
! the midst of a lecture upon Edmund
Spencer, by dozen roughs and sport
, ing characters, who came into the room
without knocking, with all manner OF
dogs to sell. 70 rlf ~
| Finarfy one Irishman let the cat out
of the bag t4 We may use such an ex-
preston In dog st0EX> By saying:
"Well, thin, shure, an why did ye
advertOise for a dog betwixt the hours
of tin and eliven the day, if yes nivir
wanted one ?" a 'fIt1' aIf
And then he presented dirty scrap
Of paper, which read as follows: -sa.I
"WANTED, a dog; any breed will an
swer; highest price paid for mongrel
pups Apply to professor, Room
No. 81 University. d Bring the dogs
between the hours of ten and eleven"
Another professor, of whom every
one was, with reason, well afraid was
in the habit of getting of bright retOrts
On the delinquent students. -.
l. One man, who had, on a certain occa-
sion, stood for half hour silently an
chored to blackboard, like horse tied
to his manger, was finally accosted as
"Well, Mr.. Jones, you have stood
there for some time. Now, how do you
explain your prOblem?" d.b ol O.
Jones, who had no idea of the problem,
or of any human Interpretation of it.,
made one deep dive down into the re-
cesses Of his memory, and brought up
one stray principle. lr.
"Weu, SIR" he said, sI explain-it it by
the principle that the angle of reflection
is equal to the angle of Incidence"
"That will do, SIR" said the professor,
visibly marking a round o opposite his
name in the class-roll; elf your angle
of reflection was only little less OBJ
tuse, we would not have such incidents
as these"
On another occasion this same pro-
fessOr said to student who had blum
dered terribly through recitation:
How far off are you from a fool?"
"I suppose" replied the student,
measuring the distance between himself
lar fba x,rnfoazAr,a Ia Ssalscr,f
feet and half" -Ir ,st-sa.'l
The professors eyes twinkled as he
said: g.. 70 .,-.r ..f- ....Ht.-,
"If's !. pity, sir, you confine your
brightness only to your answers !'-
Appleton's Journal. 90 li-l 7-i
/ EFFECTS OF THE CENTENNIAL.--'sYou
will be mine?" urged a faithful and
substantial lover to Philadelphia girl,
recently.
"Oh, no, 1 won't any such thing"
she answered, archly.
"But why this changeP' pleaded he |;
''you once felt different toward me-"
"Oh, yes, / know 1 did," she replied,
''but / didn't think of the Centennial
then, and the chances there'll be to pick
up foreign duke, or prince, or some
thingp' 3d s1.a[ rev '"' " DO
And as the disappointed youth turned
sadly away you could see by his face
that there was at least one soul which
had lost its enthusiasm for the coming
; big show. t-- .f...
| "WE LATELY met an old negro trudg-
ing along" says an American writer,
with heavy side of bacon that he had
bought swinging over his shoulder. We
noticed that he was miserably clad, and
we felt sorry for him, for a cold wind
was blowing. We demonstrated with
him. why do you spend Your money
for meat? You'd better buy a coat.
The old man stopped, looked us full i'm
the face for few moments, and said, in
the most solemn tones:. .Massa, when
| ak my back for credit it gibs it; when
l speak to dis Qaying his hand upon his
stomach) it calls for de cash. .....
He WAS telling her of Belknap's dis
grace, and casually remarked that there
was woman at the bottom of il, as
there always was in the troubles of
men. But after he had crawled out from
under the bed and apologized,, he
gathered the children around him and
told them that woman was a holy and
a beautiful thing. So it is that trifles
change our views of life. A flat-iron-
aye, even an inexpensive rolling pin
may be the humble instrument TO teach
a man that the hay-lOft is good enough
place for him to sleep in.-Bulletin.
| LADY CUsToNER-Have you a nice
book all covered with red leather, with
gold letters on the back? Shop-keeper
Yes, madam; we have De Quincey's
works, three volumes, in Russia; or
General Sherman's "Memoirs," two
volumes, in calf. Lady Customer
don't want anything about Russia. Give
me the book about the dear little calves !;
besides, it was made by General. 7aJ
He LEANED back gracefully against
the circle railings, with his small dog
between his feet. One foot was on
treacherOus banana rind, and, as he
picked up the other to admire a crack in
his boot, he sat down on the dog. Then
there was yelp, with birthstone enough
in the air for match factory and bark
for whole lanyard.
LOVELY EXPERIENCE. - Augustus
ooh, Adele, Adele, why cast my love
away for sordid wealth? Why, he's in
his second childhood" Adele-"But
Augustus, childhood is so sweet, and
think what experience in childhood he
has already had" a.sI
An FRESHMAN, writing from Ohio,
says it is the most illigant home in the
world. ''The first three weeks" he
says, "you are boarded gratis, and after
that you are charged nothing at all.
Come along and bring the childer."