Litchfield enquirer., 1876-05-11
WHOLE NO. 26oe.

we any more use TOT IaWyerSY 2
 George Washington,s Bible, which he carried through all his campaigns, is not even dOgseared. This would hardly be believed of George, but there is the Bible to show for it?
 A man who contracted a debt of $1143 promised to pay it in two install ments. Last week he forwarded $11, and, promised to send the other $43 as soon as the times got better.
 Lucy (to' her elder sister, who has just been relating thrilling episode in the life of William Tell :-"And was the little boy allowed to eat the apple afterwards?"-Punch.
 An undertaken at Providence didn't know whether a subject was dead or in fit. He boxed him up to settle the question, but the man kicked his way out and then boxed the undertaken.
 A Detroit woman who got S1, zoo from that city for ssbreaking her leg in a sidewalk hole while ago, broke her leg again in the same way 0 day or two ago. She says if she had seven more legs she should be perfectly happy.
 It is not an unusual thing nowadays for pedestrians in Kentucky to witness in every farm yard wild-eyea men, gesticulating skyward, and yelling, "No more corned beef. Send down some quail on toast.
 It is noticed by travellers that South Americans are putting on more style than they used to. They now dip the thumb and forefinger into the meat dish, whereas twenty years ago they made dive with both hands.
 'What. is editorial courtesyP" asks a Southern paper. Why, it is when Southern editor is caught stealing chickens at midnight and his brother editors kindly allude to the matter as a strange freak of somnambulist."
 "What's usee play poker" remarked an almond-eyed denizen of Tucson, Nev., the other day. Me hold four klings and lace Melican man hold all same time four faces and kling; whole week washee gone likee wood bine."
 Old lady (hOlding a very small cab bage)- What! ten cents for such small cabbage? never heard of such a thing. Polite grocer's clerk-Yes, ma'am; but it's because of the Gen. tennial, ma'am. There's so many fur , riners a-comin' that smokes, cabbages is rig.
 That North Carolina dog who cour- ageously guarded the entrance to his mistress dOmicile against intruders, while she was burning up inside, has been purchased by resident of De- lancy street, New York. whose mother in-law is given to smoking pipe while in bed.
 school. The Superintendent approach ed youth of color who was present for the first time, and inquired his name. for the purpose of placing 1t on the roll. The good man tried in vain to preserve his dignity when the an- swer was returned, Well, massa calls me Captain, but my maiden name is Moses"
 Spartan virtue still exists and the principle of moGesty is not thing of the past. If you don't believe this just see what Penn Yan damsel, who is a witness in the Crozier murder trial, says: T am nearly twenty-one years
 old. never stood near a married
 rules of impropriety!"
 "Bathe every day!" exclaimed the
 widow Smashpipes, as she dropped the flat-iron upon the horseshoe, and
 looked her neighbor, Snubs right in
 4
 never used to think of stripping my Jeems, and giving him a right good
 wash, but four times Q year; onst in the Spring, onst ;n the Summer, onst in the Fall, and onst in the Winter. Howsomdever, some children ketch dirt sooner than others.
 "My son." said bland gentleman to little hoy, "would you not like tO come to Sunday school to sing and pray, and hear all about Moses and Aaron, and the whale, and the fiery furnace, JOseph's coat of many colors, and put your pennies in the box?" Be you going to have Christmas .swered the old man "but we are Co- ing to spend the money that would be spent for candies and oranges in send ing tracts to the little heathen ehil- dren in--" ''That'll do," answered the rude young boy, as he took sight at the good man; "I don't train with no such Sunday school as that!" And e.departed to stone lost dog.
 A PAR5oN DEooYED-On Wednesday eve- ming, April 26, the Rev. J. l.. Scott. of was decOyed into St Michael's chapel, as if to perform a marriage, and there he found many parishioners, who had conspired for his Surprise" At the close of pleasant evening, B. A. Treat, as deputed by tine assembly, went forward and having invited Mir. Scott to the front, did then and there generously say that though the bridegroom being absent, they could not have the wedding, the pa-son should not miss his fee, and so presented him a dish of very delsctable greens, yelept on earth ''greenbacks. Next he turned to a long table VI ell covered wi.h packages and things not packed, as ee- gant vases and articles useful in the house, and indicated them as also offer ings from the good will of their parishion- CTS and friends, to the Rev and Mrs Scott. WhereupOn the parson expressed himself thankful for the fee and many favors, SO considering the large draft on the pecuniery ability of the parish, aud also willing still to perform the mar riage. but complained that when, true to duty, he at his entrance, had called on all who wished to be married to stand up, he was only laughed atl Still, he would over look such treatment in view of the fee in hand, and of the load burdening that ta- ble. He considered himself now prepared to take boarders. and offered to receive as many as would call at his house. and he added other like words.-Americdn.
 Eight proposed amendments to the con- stitution will come before you, from the last General Assembly, for your approval. An Act to p ovide for the calling of con. stitutional convention was also continued to the present session by the last General and Las been published with the public acts of that session. These propositions 70 alter the consti- tuition indicate a popular Sense of the in- efficiency of that instrument and confirm me in the views have heretofore express ed to the General Assembly as to the de- of its entire revision. But for aprehensions, which seem to me not req sonable, respecting the basis of represen- tatiOn in the General Assembly, have nO doubt that call for constitutional con- Vention wonld meet with ger eral favor the states The act just refer red to removes that question entirely from she power of the convention which it pro- poses to call. Its provisions seem to me beyond any question, for that purpose. But regarding as I do, the pres- snt plan of representation as so absurd as o be indefensible should regret to see fro unua olo1 in kl,;a aasaaok A.