Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1876-09-02
4 WOMAN'S WIT.
THE SAVING GRACEs OF A BIT OF COURT
PLASTER.

, PLASTER.
A gentleman not unconnected with
the Boston Press was in St. Louis re-
Gently, and while there confded to a
friend the details of an adventure in u
Boston hotel so remarkable as to deserve
life in print. The story is brief but
with an immense moral, as showing
how, in some things, lovely woman will
always come to the relief of a sister to
outwit the tyrant man. The journalist
above referred to, stopping at the hotel
q private one where the guest were &C.
customsd to the entire freedom of the
house, felt, late one night, the impera-
tive necessity of eating some fruit be-
fore retiring. 1t was too late to send
out to buy any, he did not want to
arouse the servants of the house at so
late an hour, and yet fruit, or preserves
or something toothsome of the kind
seemed to him personal necessity. He
knew where the store-room was, knew
that the door was left open and finally
resolved to go down quietly and bring
enough sweetmeats to satisfy his need.
No sooner was the thought conceived
than acted upon, and within five min
utes he was in the store-room hooking
preserves out of q jar and enjoying him
self immensely in satisfying the craving
which had come upon him.
For few minutes the enjoyment of
the man ct the preserves was completed
"Then, he was startled by light,
swift step in the hall, there was a whish
and rustic Of garments, the door opened
suddenly and some one bounded in
with such suddenness as, coming square
Iy against the form of the midnight
raider, to knock him half way across
the room, and fairly off his feet. Leap
ing up at once he closed with his un-
conscious assuilant, to be startled by a
subdued shrek and to find that he had
captured woman! Further, and more
terrible still, he discovered that the
plump form of the lady, who had
wanted something to eat as we'll as he,
was clad only in a night dress, SLill
though trying, the occasion was one
not of unmixed horror by any means,
and in moment the gentleman's nerve
returned and his curiosity rose to fever
heat
Who is this ?" he demanded of the
plump figure in his arms. No answer.
Who is it ?" he repeated. "You'll
not get out of this until you tell" Still
no answer, but a struggle in the dark
ness, the plump figure trying hard to
get away.
Again the query was repeated, with
equal lack of response, but this time a
resounding slap in the face from hand
that was doubtless pretty, but which
hit with decided force, was the reward
of the questioner.
He was put on his ,mettle at once.
You think that you get off unknown!
Well see about that" he exclaimed.
"Tve device that'll work, I think.
And then, after silent but determined
struggle, he caught bit of the lady's
right cheek between his teeth and bit
it!-not badly so as to break the velvet
skin, but sufficiently hard to leave a
mark which he knew could not dissap-
pear for a day or two. Then lie re-
leased his unknown prisoner and she
fed like the wind along the passage,
disappearing in some room impossible
to locate in the darkness.
The next morning the gentleman
with mistery to solve came down to
breakfast early. No ladies had yet
appeared, but at his table were one or
two intimate male friends, and to them
he confded the story of his adventure
in the night, relating also the means he
had taken to secure the Identification
of the unknown lady. The most in
tense curiosity at once prevailed at the
table, and the advent of the ladies was
awaited with an impatience scarcely to
be controlled. Five minutes later the
door opened and the belle of the hotel
entered demurely, glided across the
room and seated herself for breakfast.
Eager eyes followed her, and as her
face was fairly exposed there was sem
sation among the gentlemen. Upon
her right cheek was a strip of court
plaster all inch long! The excited men
exchanged glances and whispers and
smiles. The mystery was solved early.
But just then, another lady entered,
this time dignified matron. As she
seated herself there was disclosed upon
her right cheek piece of court-plaster
identical in appearance with that upon
the face of the belle! Another and
another lady entered. Upon the right
cheek of every one of them appeared q
piece of court-plaster. The tables filled
up and not lady at one of them but
what had piece of court-plaster on
her right cheek! And then the gentle
men looking confidently for a revelation
wilted. The lady who had been cap
tured in the night had confded her ex-
tremity to her friends and they had
come to the rescue to outwit male hu-
manity. They had succeeded, too.
The discounted men at that particular
table knew that beneath one of the
many pieces of court-plaster in the
room were hidden the marks of teeth,
but which was the identical bit of court
plaster they could not tell. And they
never learned.
81 The first seeds of matrimonial
discord are usually sown Immediately
after going to housekeeping 1t is not
because the tender wave ofharmony no
longer pulsates from soul to soul. 1t is
because she insists on his doing the
marketing Immediately after breakfast,
on full stomach, when he dosen't care
whether he has canvass back duck OF
a boiled dish-rag for the next meal
| NOrrich Bulletin.
@" 1 wish might die," sighed 1
middle.aged maiden, as she hung hks
a limp bolster out of the third-story
front window on Sunday afternoon and