The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1876-07-06

"Oos '""A0 AoA " OSi wy 10 DSii1c
bub.
An old curmudgeon says that the
ladies have decoration day" every
When a man awakens from a
chloroform trance in a dentists chair,
can be be said to be in trance-end-
dental state of mind?
A slang expression has gone West.
The boys of Salt Lake City say:
"Pull down your endowment robes."
When we read we fancy We could
be martyrs; when we come to act,
We cannot bear provoking word.
- A disconsolate widower had in.
scribed on his wife's tombstone:
Tears cannot restore her, therefore
weep" nF
A young lady was asked upon her
return from church last Sunday what
the text was, to which she unhesita- 8
tingly replied: BLESSED are the dress
makers"
1t was little dressmaker girl who
had looked out of the window as
drove of Texan steers went by, and
remarked that their horns seemed to
be cut 60 ring.
Arkansas doctors have stopped
writing Latin prescriptions. they
say it is just as easy to make it plain
"rhubarb root" as to scrawl out the
words "rheum dosare radix rhaponti.
cum" - = ssi
And now comes Boston woman
who, TO out-do her fashionable sisters
with their twenty-button gloves, has
invented and wears forty. button
stockings.
Precept and example, like the
blades of pair Of scissors, are ad-
mirably adapted to their end when
separated, they lose the
greater part of their utility.
Medical writers all agree that glut.
tony conducts more people to their
grave than drunkenness. The old
adage is true, 'that many people dig
their graves with their teeth"
"What a boon your new school
master is," said a lady to one of the
school boys; "don't you think so?"-
"Y es, ba-boon,n was the reply.
care your eyes new ones?" was
four-year old girl paid TO lady
whose beautiful eyes shone like stars.
sounds just as loud as a new
quarter chuckles Midas, as he drops
a five-cent nickel into the contribution
box. - sAs iS>
He was too solemn preacher; he
didn't suit in Nevada. The chair
man of the farewell committee ex-
pressed it we'll; said he: "Now you
can git, pard; we amt agin religion
out here, and it riles US to see feller
spilin' it. Git"
at is better" says placard in a
store in Seabrook, N. H., "to wear q
calico dress without trimmings, if it
is paid for, than to owe the shop.
keeper for the most elegant silk, cut
and trimmed in the most bewitching
manner"
The lightning struck Patchogue
darkey on the head, but he refused
to bulge an inch, and muttered dog
gedly: "Dat makes free times I'se
been hit, and now shouldn't wonder
eft it luff me alone"
A butcher boy, coming up the
street from market the other day,
carrying a large tray on his shoulder,
accidentally struck against lady's
head, and discomposed her bonnet.
"The dence take that travl" cried the
lady, in towering passion. "Ma-
dame" replied the youngster, "the
deuce cannot take the tray"
"Old Abe" the Wisconsin war ea-
gle, holds place of honor in Agri-
cultural Hall at the Centennial. A.
mericans speak of him as GLORIOUS
old Bird" Frenchmen mistake him
for "un parrote," while the English
visitors readily recognize him as q
"blarsted Hamerican heagle."
At the Centennial, the Philadelphia
ladies cry out, isn't it cunning?"
New York ladies, "How superbly
lovely" Boston ladies, .Ah, how ex-
quawsite." Louisville ladies, BE
utiful, fo' shuah!" Chicago ladies.
"Oh, my-I wish I owned that"
while the genuine Yankee girls from
the rural districts exclaim, "Gee-
whimminy, but amt that ere stun
ner, neow!"
A large cheese factory, near Buffa-
10, n. Y, has made two cheeses, one
of twelve tons and another of four
teen tons weight. They will be
"builtn on platform cars, which will
run into the factory for tfe purpose,
and upon which they will be kept
during the entire exhibition. They
are ten or twelve feet high, surround
ed by iron hoops one inch thick, to
keep them from bursting.
The New York Times proposes
that every American resolve that on
the morning of the Fouth of July,
1876. he will begin the day by plant
ing cat in bis back yard. 1t is by
no means certain that we need sim
gle additional tree, but the next wall
that sweeps from the back fence will
convince every thoughtful man that
we have at least 36,000,000 cats in
oxnnos nf onr rannirnmpnfa