Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1876-11-01
NASBY ON INDIANA.


| -'EW
The Moose Fell Onto the Corners Like {
| Soothin Bam-Mr. Nasty Relates How
His Kentucky Reformers Contributed t.
edo Blade.
CoNFEDR1T x ROADS, W1oH IS IN TIKI
STATE Nv KENTUCKY. October ID, 1876
The Corners is itself agin! The moose
from Indiana fell onto us like o soothir
BAN, and diffoosed SIGH peece and salts
lackshen ez we hewitt experienced
sence the intelligence NV the first Bull
Run.
Think NV it Bloc James Willyume
is Governor, and clean shirtid aristoc
racy hez been rebooked The outposts
of the enemy hev bin kerried-we she]
kerry the citadel in November.
wuz the first to communicate the
vlctry to the Corners, for I belpt to
win it in person. I he'd bin at Bunkers-
vile, in Injeany, for two weeks, with a
party of Kentucky reformers in charge,
wich votid in that State.
When Tilden wuz nominated on q
reform platform swore a sollum oath
that whatever Good do to bring about
reform [ wood do, and I hev KEEP nv
oath. 1 took fifty reformers from the
Corners to Bunkersville. Them Ken
tuckians-ez zelus for reform ez wuz
myself-votid on averige three times
apeece, and each Nv EN-, with the help
Nv some pugilistic reformers that Til
den sent on direct to help me, KEEP at
least three Republicans each from votin.
And the whole NV it didn't cost the New
York Reform Bureau more than ST. 900 |!
Kin any reformer show better record
than that !?
Their wuz an ovashen when returned
with my reformers. The Corners bor-
rerred all the mules from the entire
naberhood and cum over to the stashen
at Seceshunville to take us home. The
calvacade wuz met jist out Nv the village
by psrceshin, the site Nv wioh glad
dened my heart. Captain M'Pelter
appeared on hossback in his Confedrit
yooniform, Deekin Pogram kerried the
rifle wich he yoosed to booshwack
Fedrel pikkits with, and the rank and
file Nv the Democrisy appeared in the
Confedrit gray wich they lade orr wen
Richmond fell, and the triumf Nv the
Sathern coz wuz postponed.
Deekin Pogram fell on Capt. M'Pel-
ter's neck, and wept perfoosely.
"Injeany's Dimekratic!" sobbed the
old saint. THAT elex Tilden, and
shell lick a niger once more!'
click niggers !" wuz the captin' s re-
ply, "the Ethiopian will wish he Good
change his skin now. The one he hez
won't be NV much yoose to him.
Arrivin at Bascom's, that CRATE man
put moo bari on tap, and remarked
that now that solid South had some
show Nv regainin her rites, to charge
for ikker wood be a boiler mockery
And with teers streemin down his
cheeks-they wuz teers Nv joy-he
said:
''Fellow citizens, to the COZ NV re-
form [ devote this barl Likker is free
to nite."
We organized meetin, NV course,
that we mite arrange for reepin in the
froots Nv the victry we had won in In-
jeany.
We ishood proclamation to the
carpit-baggers in the country that we
shood not yoose violence to rid our
selves Nv EN-, eff it wuz possible to
avoid it, but we gave EN- motifs that we
wood neither buy Nv EN-, sell to EN-, Or
employ EN- in any possible way. We
give EN- motifs, also, that votin for
Hayes CONSTITUTED a carpit-bagger, and
in the interest Of peece we shood
promptly shoot every one who per-
posed to wantonly outrage us by per-
posin to do SIGH thing. Peece we
must hev ef we hev to kill every carpit-
Dagger and niger in the country to
get it.
We warned the niggers thar while we
desired to live in harmony with EN-,
harmony wuz only attainable by Their
OBSERVE the conditions nessary. They
must know that Tilden's eleckshun wuz
certin, that they Good no longer look to
the Fedrll Government for proteckshun,
and that we held Their fates in our hands.
They must resoom the normal condition
or take the penalty.
And the people set to work sternly
that evenin to carry out Their noshens.
The niger butcher, at the north end,
wuz ordered to leeve in ten minits, and
for feer that he woodent, mis- shop wuz
confisticatid, and his house torn down.
Two niger plastrers got away, but Their
houses wuz guttid, and we wood hev
gone through Pollock, only he and Joe
Bigler put up the shutters, in the most
cowardly manner ez soon ez our people
sailed out, and laid behind EN- with
Henry rifles and SIGH, and defed us.
They never kin be peece here, so long
ez these men make that store rallyin
point for the disaffected riggers.
The payment of our war claims will
wipe out our indebtednis to Bascom,
ana leave us suthin to deposit with him
on account, and, relieved Nv Fedrel in
reference, we kin redoose the niger to
his normal condishun ez soon ez we
choose, and wunst more enjoy cheap
labor. Between the two, and the
post-offis, [ shell hev enuff to keep me
till death removes me from my srpee Nv
yoosfulnis. and sends me where polly
Tx won't bother me, and where likker
is onnessary. My sky is britenin.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY,
Reformer.
Fears of TrOnhla Over tha Electoral