The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1876-02-28
OUR UBIQUITOUS CORREsPON.
DENT.
He Turns up In Philadelphia In the
Capac ty OF Wet or some other
Kind OF Nurse-What Salathfel
Thinks About Doctors and Things
The Centennial Epidemic.

BINGHAM HOUSE PHILADELPHIA [
February "a, 1876. !
Editors OF the Register
Strange things happen under the sun,
and strange it is am here, but this Is
the how OF 1t: Meeting friend in Park
ersburg with a cancer of the lip, who was
coming here to have it removed by the
eminent surgeon DR.. Pencost, l was
asked to accompany him, and so l am
here in the capacity OF nurse. And by
the-way think nursing is my forte, not
withstanding my charge thinks l am
little crusty and dry sometimes. Well,
l am not aspiring TO be net nurse: and
don't propose putting out shingle bid
ding for baby charges.
But now these surgical profcients do
delight in cutting people to pieces, any
how. To see them singing their glitter
ing tools around loose, makes ones hair
feel porcupinish.
To slash a big letter V cut of my
friends lip, extending to the chin, was
only a moments work, and the hateful
piece containing the fungus intruder was
flung to the floor, like we farmers toss
aside the cross and underbits from pigs
ears wien we'er marking them. And
then to see the big-whiskered doctor
with his needle and thread, sewing up
the cash, chatting and joking with that
same assurance and self-complacency our
grandmothers exhibit when they used to
throw us across their laps, and whip
up rent in the seat OF
our breeches! Well | suppose n
man must enjoy his work to do
it well-but it ISM. bit funny
for the subject, and I've been wondering
what these surgeons and dentists will do
IN the next world, where they have no
tumors to cut out, broken legs to ampu-
tate, aching teeth to gouge, and the like.
| do wonder if they will insist on taking
their tools with them.
We met with three items'of news on
our journey. First, an acquaintance
of ours, business man from your city,
come on the train ut Petroleum, with the
news that young doctor had just i'm
mortalized himself by successfully re-
morsing tapeworm from lady's
stomach thirty four feet long-he meant
of course the tapeworm thlrty-tour feet
long Second woman came
aboard at Piedmont, suffering
intensely with a broken jaw,
One of these selfame dental grub
bers we have referred to, had been slash
ing around in her mouth with his picks,
torceps and crowbars, trying to clear the
ground of Objectionable snags, and done
the mischief, so we were intormed-"My
tooth has quit aching"
NY last and most Objectionable item Of
rews was the "news boy himself He
came around just 7S0 times by the watch
with the latest news, novels, ivory what
nots and patent candy, and every time
told an old lady next to US, who had an
inquiring mind all about every item
he had in his kit. Now, what | want
to know is this: Is there any law against
killing these train beys? And if there
is. it's blessed thing for them them they
never leave the cars, for if they ever
venturcd out among honest farmers,
there would be frequent occasions for
coroners juries.
The Centennial is hopelessly epidemic
here, and when | can leave my charge,
III 20 out and see who's got it.
SALATHIEL.