The Morning herald., 1876-12-29


there. She sometimes wishes to do 80, but
can not. When asked directly, she sinks
into herself and is lost in thought. She
finds no words. 1t is as when we try to
explain to Il man who has been always blind
the scenes before our eyes. We can not
explain them to such a man. And so with
her. She finds in her memory things
which no human language has been made
to express These languages were made
for the earth, not for heaven. In order to
tell me what she knows, she would need
the language Of that world, and then she
could not explain it, for l could not under
stand it.
Only once saw her smile, and that was
when one of the nurses casually mentioned,
with horror, the death Of some acquain-
tance "Deatl~ she murmured, and her
eyes lighted VI. with kind of ecstacy. "Oh,
that l might 4 e!' sne knows no blessing
on earth exc It that which we consider
curse, and t. ner the object of all her wishes
is this one amg--Death. Ishall not soop
forget that smile. 1t seemed Of itself to
give new meaning to death.
Do bciiS'c liilS, bO Wllu tHCOI J, UAc
very mention Of which has carried me be-
yond mysvlG? do not know. All my
reason rebels Itscoutsthe monstrous idea.
But here she stands before me, With her
memories and thoughts, and her wonoer.
full words, few, but full Of deepest meaning
words which l shall never forget-and
I recognize something before which rea-
son falters. Whence this deep longing of
hers? Why when she thinks Of death does
her face grow thus radiant, and her eyes
kindle with hope? Why does she SO pine
and grow sick with desire? Why does her
heart thus ache as day succeeds to day, and
she finds herself still under the sunlight,
win The landscapes and the music of this
fair earth still around her?
Once, in somespeculations ofmine, which
l think l mentioned to you, Teresina, |
thought that ifa man could reach that
spiritual world he would look with con-
tempt upon the highest charms that belong
to this. Here is one who believes that she
has gone through this experience, and all
this earth, with all its beauty is now an OBJ
ject of indifference to her. Perhaps you
may ask, Is she sane? Yes, dear, AS sane
as am, but With profounder experience
and diviner knowledge.
After | had been in Quebec about
month | learned that one ofthe regiments
stationed here was commanded by Colonel
Henry Despard. l called on him, and he
received me with unbounded delight. He
made me tell him all about myself, and |
impaired to him as much of the events OF
the voyage and quarantine as was advlsa-
BILE. / did not 60 into particulars to any
extent Of course. l mentioned nothing
about the grave. That, dearest sister, is
secret between you, and me, and her. For
if it should be possible that she should ever
be restored TO ordinary human sympathy
and feeling, it will not be well that all the
world should know what has happened to
her.
His regiment was ordered to Halifax,
and concluded to comply with his urgent
solicitations and accompany him. 1t il
better for her at any rate that there should
be more friends than one to protect her.
Despard, like the doctors, supposes that she
is in a stupor.
The Journey here exercised favorable
influence over her. Her strength in
creased to marked degree, and she has
once or twice spoken about the past. She
told me that her father wrote to his son
Louis in Australia some weeks before his
death, and urged him to come home. She
thinks that he ia on his way to England.
The Colonel and l at o.lce thought that he
ought to be sought after without delay, and
he promised TO write to his nephew, your
old playmate, who, he tells me, is to be
neighbor ofyours. >.
If he is still the one whom I remember
intellectual yet spiritual, with sound
reason, yet strong heart, if he is still the
Courtenay Despard who, when boy,
seemed to me to look out upon the world
before him with such lofty poetic enthu-
siasm-then, Teresella, you should show
him this diary, for it will cause him to un-
derstand things which he ought to know
suppose it would be uninteIligible to mr..
Thornton, who is most estible man, but
lwho, from the nature of his mind, II ne
read this would only conclude that the
writer was insane. =,
At any rate, Mr.. Thornton should be
informed of the leading facts, 80 that nc
NAV see if something can be done to allie
viate the distress, or to avenge the wrongs
of one whose father was the earliest bene-
factor of his family.
TTo RE Continued
|