The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1876-07-20
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

- Not every one VINO mas tne gilt OF
speech understands the value of silence.
= 1t is pleasant to return to your boy
hood home on the old farm and turnithe
woodpile topsey-turvey in1search for bait.
"A gentleman says that after losing
one hundred chickens by. cholera he
found that tablespoonful of soda mixed
with quart of milk and given with the
food was cure.
| AT the end of an Indiana marriage
ceremony the bride advanced gracefully
to the clergyman and requested him to
announce the hymn, "This is the way I
long have sought"
= "That's what I call finished SER
mon" remarked man as he was coming
out of church. eyes, finished at last" !"
replied his neighbor, though I began TO
think it would never be-" 5l j..
"A Leavenworth man told lie, and
then said II hope to be struck dead if l
have not spoke the. truth p, He had
scarcely ceased speaking, when he fell to
the foor--;a man having knocked him
down.
|. - A lady gave recently the following
opinion ofsa;niee, young g6a man. acc according ,g
make an excellent stranger-one you'd
never become acquainted with, you
know"
When you reflect that at picnics q
hundred years ago it was the custom for
the girls to stand up in row and let the
men; kiss them all good-by, all this enthu-
siasm about national progress seems to be
grave mistake.
= This is the kind of weather that
makes a man wish either that Adam
hadn't been so successful as backslider,
or that some patriot would invent a pair
of linen trowsers that button around the
neck and have arm holes.
- There is a delicate and at the same
time very keen and subtle perception
of female character in the remark of q:
candid observer, who told US the other
day that woman's exclamation of
"Ouch?" very often means "Do it
again."
There is too much of this Centen-
NAL reading. When the fact is disclosed
that George Washington had astreet fight
with political opponent and was knock
ed down by him just as common man
might have been, tits time to stop search
ing through the old records.
When a man quits subscribing for q
newspaper because it is not enthusiastic
for his candidate, and then borrows it
regularly from neighbor, you may be
sure that the sterling patriotism that
| characterized the founders of the Repub-
lie has not entirely departed.
l. Scene in recitation room: Profess
sor-"The ancient Egyptians were in the
habit of sacrificing red-headed girls to
the fdevils.n7 Authenticated student
"What did they do with the red-headed
boys" Professor-"They supposed they
would go of their own accord"
AT the Lincoln School commence
ment, the other afternoon, the principal
eloquently inculcated fraternity" as the
duty of the hour. One of the girls, who
had no brother, was made very unhappy
at her inability to cultivate her fraternal
affections, until it was explained to her
that one of the other girls brothers would
do just as we'll.
1t is said that if man is walking
for health and enjoyment, four miles an
hour is the best gait. This may be true
as regards health, but for enjoyment we
remember one night when it took US four
hours to walk mile. 1t happened, how
ever, that the old folks had gone to
camp-meeting, and she had the night
key, and, as far as health was concerned,
we didn't really care if it took all night
At Winnebago (Minn.) Agency a
few days ago, some persons were exhum-
ing body which had been buried eleven
years before, in attempting to lift the cot.
fin were surprised at the extraordinary
weight, and on opening it they found
that the body, and also the clothing, were
petrifed, and had assumed delicate slate
color. The body was perfect, except 6
slight crack in the face, probably made
in removing it from the grave.
| 1t has transpired that the Gin
cinnati Convention was managed entire
ly in the interest of the nomination O.
r. B. Hayes, with the aid of Presiden
Grant and of all the administration sup
portsrs, the object being to perpetuatt
his administration both by the character
of the men selected for the cabinet and by
the character of the political counsellor
of the Republican President in the even
of Hayes and Wheeler's election.