The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-07-06
What the Baby Thinks.
Somebody wants to know what the
baby is thinking Off

baby is thinking of
And we, too, would like to know.
1t is subject on which considerable
conjecture may be indu1ged, but to get at
the truth of the matter might be some
what difficult. And we should not, proba.
bly,, recognize the truth when we found 1t.
A baby of the genuine, orthodox style
hairless, colorless, shapeless as to body,
with head round as q bullet, forehead
as puckered and wrinkled as his grand.
mothers, and two little blinking eyes set
far back in mass of putty .colored layers
OF 1at-ls not to our mind very attractive
spectacle to contemplate, though we are
well aware that every worshiping mother
OF baby will hate us most devoutly in
consequence of our opinion.
A big apple dumping, with two buckle
berries judiciously set therein, might sit
Tor almost any small baby's photograph
with good hope of success.
The baby's sole idea, if one NAV be al.
lowed to judge from his actions, is how
best to get both his fists into his mouth at
once; and after that comes the problem of
how he can best turn his heels over his
head without getting off his back to &C.
complish the feat. And when he find he
cannot do either of these things to his
satisfaction, he gets mad and cries, and
his loving mother Is terrified for fear
cholera itifantum is coming on, and she
gives him dose of soothing strip, and
sends for the doctor.
No doubt baby has some notions of
his own, If he were only given the faculty
of speech to express them.
The world, to him, snellso of flannel and
sour milk. We wonder if his very soul
does not breathe paregoric!
And if he would not like to rid the uni
verse of that vile abomination WHICH has
so many times been employed to ransack
his infantile stomach and bowels, and
which is designated by the label-Castor
Oil?
Does he like being caught suddenly,
and tossed up to the ceiling, and turned
upside down, and downside up, in the
reckless way people have of handling ba.
biess Does he relish snappy kisses from
fond old aunts and uncles who eat onions
to kill the faint of whisky and tobacco, OF
uicc versa, we do not know which?
What does he think when pin stick:
in him, and he yells with agony, and hi.
mother takes him on her knee, and trots
him, and tells the nurse she is afraid the
little precious" is going to have thai
udSCy CO1lC dkdlu: Anu tllcI
comes the castor oil bottle.
Is it happiness for the baby to be
swathed in flannel, and smothered in pill
lows, in furnace heated room where the
mercury is higher than it has any legiti.
mate right to be on the Fourth of July?
Does he like to have his feet produced
from their wrappings and shown to adj
miring visitors as the "prittiest little foot
sies-tootsies' in the world? Does he like
to have his toes felt and squeezed? Does
he like to have his back patted? Does he
like to have fingers thrust in his mouth to
make him show his new teeth?
Don't you suppose he wishes the man
that invented soothing sirup could be hung
Don't you suppose he wishes there had
never been any such thing as " Ridges
Food" or Ridge either?
Why does he like to pull hair? Why
does he contemplate his toes by the
hour, and break into spasms of shrieking
if anybody crosses the fascinating OBJ
jects?
How does he like his mother to churn
him up and down on her knee after he is
fed, and then put him in the cradle and
rock him till his wretched little head
bounces from side to side, and the world
turns round before his dizzy vision, and
weary with trying to keep pace with it, he
falls asleep at last:
We were all babies ourselves once, hui
we are none the wiser for it, and it seems
quite likely that time will go on, and We
shall none of us know what the baby
thinks.-K0te Thorn, in N. Y. Weekly.