Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1876-03-18
Curi0sities Wanted for the
Centennial.
Chicaqo Journal.

Why not have an exhibition at
the Centennial few specimens Of
crooked" whisky?
And few of the papers forged
by Winslow?
And a few of the dollars stolen
by Tweed ?
And few mere Belknaps TO be
bribed /?
And few of the Republican
platforms thatare lived up to?
And a few of the political "In-
dependents who are either luna
ties or worn out party hacks?"
And few more of the whiskey
thieves who do not pretend TO be
honest mea
And few of the families which
have not been broken up in Brook
lyn 2
And few Of the characters who
know all about the Beecher scan
dial, but will not tell ?
And few OF the churches which
teach the Word Of God in prefer
ence to bowling at the word Of man?
And few of the paying shares
of Emma Mine
And few of the honest men of
the Union Pacific Credit Mobilier
ring!
And few Of the relics of the Pa
cific Mail frauds?
And a few of the victims who
have forgotten the Northern Pa
cific Railroad SWindle ?
And few men who do not want
a Government appointment
And few of professional politi-
clans who will not steal +?
And few of the capitalists who
have ''splurged" very long and not
"busted?"
And few of the Union prison
ers from Andersonville who are
not either still hungry or crippled
for life !?
And a few of the Charley Roses
which have been found in the
country
And few of the Moody converts
who will not return to their wick
ed ways +?
And a few of the "crusade" con-
verts who have not touched a drop
since?
And few of the insane MUIR
derers that invest the land?
And few engineers who never
get drunk
And few samples of the police
men who are around when wanted.
And a few loafers who are
worth more to the world living
than dead
And few children who do not
talk back to their parents 4?
And few metropolitan officials
who are not lazy and sucking their
living out of the taxpayers ?
And few gas bills that are not
too large?
And few young men who are
willing to work atanything rather
than be idle?
And q few housekeepers who
have survived the lighting of fires
with kerosene
And few householders who
have not been burned out by "acci-
cident?"
And few fools who have not
been either killed or hurt by Jump
ing on or off train of cars when
in motion, or lost some of their
fingers in buzz saw
And few more who have never
blown any ones brains out with
"unloaded guns?"
And few steam boats which vi
olate no regulations of safety
And a few youths who know
better than to whistle In a public
conveyance, or talk boisteIous any
where?
And few people who have got
well by dosing themselves with
quack medicines, or made money
by investing in lottery tickets or
gambling games ?
And few others who have gone
about with cold feet and hot heads
and have not died
And few boys Tor men, either)
who are like George Washington,
and cannot tell lie?
And few American girls who
do not use slang?
And few misses who can wash
dishes as sweetly as they play the
piano?
And few boarding school pu-
pills who had rather tudy than
fiirt?
And few young people who are
willing to be married and settle
down, without great wedding
splurge and bridal tour?
And few of the Oldest inhabi-
tants who can remember we'll and
can tell how gold dollar looks?
And a few humans who have
learned that honesty is the best
policy ?