Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-03-24
A Vito Who Endeavored to Keep
Posted.

Free Press.
Mr.. Spike, of Detroit, regards the
modern system of school education
as abominable. Mr.. Spikes head is
level about that. Mr. Spike hasn't
any children, and finding that his
wife was drifting away from the
good old educational ideas Of twenty
years ago, he started out a few weeks
ago TO reform her. Come to reflect,
he remembered that each evenings
conversation consisted only of gossip
about pull-back dresses, Saratoga
knots, church sociables and local
scandals, and one morning he said to
her:
"Maria, take the daily paper and
post yourself. Let this eternal gos-
sip 60 by default and store your
mind with knowledge Of the great
events OF the period"
She began to stare. Mrs. Spike is
good woman and a dutiful wife,
and she wanted to do just what Mr..
oplkc Thought pest.
He let her alone day or two, and
then asked:
swell, Maria, who are the oppo-
sing parties in Spain:"
"Boss Tweed and Clara Louise
Kellogg!" was the prompt reply.
"Hum" he said, as he rubbed his
hands; "been reading the papers, 1
see."
eyes; I've been trying to post my
SELF" she said.
"Who are the Carlists?:" he grimly
asked.
"Less see," she mused; "they have
MT anything to do with the Centen-
nial, have they?"
"NIaria, are you fool?n he bluntly
asked.
She began to cry and he went
down town. 1t was plain to her that
she had made mistake, and she dc
termined to do better. She froze
right to the daily paper for the next
three days, and when he began to
question her again she was ready for
him.
"Maria," he asked, "what about the
Beecher scandal?"
"Mr. Bowen has come out against
Beecher," she replied.
eThat's It-that's business.' he ex-
claimed.
"What about the Suez Canal?"
"The English have purchased a
controlling interest"
Correct, noble woman! Now you
are getting to be somebody-now
you show common sense! Now, Ma
ria, what is the condition of Mexico
at the present time?"
"No sleighing there" she proudly
answered.
His countenance fell, and seeing
the change, she iried to set matters
right by adding:
"The 'tater bug is raising Cain
down there'
The look he gave her early broke
her heart, and for a long time she
looked at the left leg of the coal
stove while he read a pamphlet con.
tanning the biography of Victoria
Woodruff. She finally asked:
"The tunnel under the Straits OF
Dover will be Il great enterprise,
won't 1t?"
"There-that's sense" he replied
Frightening up again.
'And they've had an unusually
cold winter in France" she again OBJ
served.
"That's correct! Now l think you
know something's
She felt elated at his praise, and
boldly inquired:
"Iow did that Mckenzie elope
ment case come off ?"
"Now you know something-now
you are worthy the name of Spike.'
he exclaimed.
"Well, Babcock ought to be asham'
cd of himself, to run away with an
other mans wife !" continued Mrs
Spike.
Spike wilted.
"That is, Joyce and Mckee cant
be convicted of robbing the North
ampton Bank, can they?" she asked
He groaned.
"I-I.mean the Alfonsoists didn't
-didn't-they weren't to blame for
crooked whisky, were they?"
Spike went out and leaned over
his gate and looked at the weather
When n nelghbor came along and
asked him if he thought it was gong
to rain, he replied:
"No, blast you! It's going to snow
seventeen feet deep"