The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-08-11
Wit and HnnlOr.

SIoUx-INe machine-The scalping-
knife.
THERE is great run on lawn dresses
this season, to the delight of laun-
dresses.
A FRENoHMAN wants to dig a ship
canal across America, and we say unto
him: "Dig out !"
SoLILoorY by tippler The public
always notices you when you have been
drinking, and never when you are thirs-
ty.
WHAT is the difference between an
old ex-of1icer of the Government and
the present Governor General of Canada2
One is duffer out, and the other is Duff
FERN.
A LITTLE girl was asked what wns the
meaning of the word happy. She gave
a very pretty answer, saying, cit is to
feel as if you wanted to give up all your
things to your little sister"
LUCY Stones husband never had the
floor but once; "and them" says Lucy,
with q grim smile, she occupied about
six feet of it and had a dreadful head
ache. dorchester Chronicle.
An old negro was paid his wages in
silver half-dollars. He gazed benignly
upon them as they lay in his palm,
grinned as though in triumph, and ex-
claimed "Dat's de stuff de rats can't
chaw !"
A HARTFORD girl treating too fire.
quent gentleman caller rather cOolly,
drew from him the remark: 81 fear
you are not dealing squarely with me :"
"That's because you are round SO Of
ten," was the quiet reply.
THIS is the reading of an advertise
ment that for the enlightenment of Eng.
lish residents at Vienna has lately fig
ured conspicuously upon a well-known
tailor's window "Inlandish and out
landish suits always ready"
"MAMMA, if we cross the bridge at
night must we pay toll2" "Qf course,
my dear; why do you ask 2" "Why, be-
cause the river has gone home to Sleep"
"Oh, the river never sleeps" "Then
why has it bed, mammal"
A FIRE was caused in Scranton, the
other day, by the suns rays glancing off
citizens nose and concentrating on a
frame shed. The owner of the nose
doesn't belong to temperance society.
He argues that little wine for the
stomach's sake will harm no one.
A TAILOR of melancholy temperament
was observed recently sitting cross
legged on the Canada shore, gazing in
tently at the Horseshoe Fall, with its
thick cloud of spray. A reporter stole
mp unobserved, and heard him mutter
"What place to sponge coat 7"
THE authorities took poor man from
Happy Hollow one day this week, and
sent him out to the poor house. The
parting between the poor man and his
eleven dogs, which he distributed among
his sympathizing relatives, was affecting
In the extreme. We believe the man had
a few children, too, but not enough to
make a fuss about.-Barlington HaWk-
Eye.
PATTI has paid so, 500 for fur cloak.
May we ask what fur 2-Bufalo Err
press. No. She's able to pay for it, so
mind your own affairs and let er-mine
hers.-N. y. Com. Adv. Wh-otter fuss
over fur-riner. -Philadelphia Chroni-
Gle. Twelve thousand dollars The
mink !--Hrald and Presbyter. That
is nothing for the gayest cloak in this
squirreld. Tile Interior.
THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN.
" The rights of women, what are they?
The right to labor and to pray;
The right to comfort in distress:
The right, when others curse TO bless:
The right to love when others scorn:
The right to comfort all who mourn
The right to shed new Joy on earth
The right to feel the souls high worth;
The right to lead the soul to God
Along the path the Savior trod-
The path of meekness and of love-
The path of faith that leads above,
The path of patience under wrong
The path in which the weak grow strong
such woman's right. and God will bless