davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
The Mallet and the Speaker.

The little mallet with which the pre-
siding officer In the House punctuates
its proceedings is a fatal instrument in
the hands of Cox. 1t is curious to note
the power or the weakness which comes
out in the handling of the gavel. To
use it promptly at the righh time and
sparingly, is the secret of success i'll the
chair. The slightest incompetence with
the gavel vitiaAss quickly the power OF
any presiding officer. Mr.. kerr under
stands this, and never annoys the House
by frantic hammering. Mr.. Cox's way
is to keep up petty pounding, which
would give bland person liz the gallery
the impression that somebody was put
ting down carpets below. Ksrr's gentle
and deliberate, but emphatic and fore
ible manner, would almost enable him
to dispense with the gavel In the ordi-
nary proceedings of the House. When
there is disorder, Mr.. Kern does not
jump up and pound, and blusteringly
add to the confusion, but be sits quietly
in the chair, tells the House., iS pleas
ant tone of rennonstrance, that there Is
40 much confession in the hall shat it is
impossible to go on with abe business of
the House," and remains silent until
members have settled in their seats and
the confusion is diminished, so that any
members voice can be heard across the
hall. A proCainent member of the House
insinuated DO me, the other day, that
Mr.. Kerr was better Speaker even than
Mr.. Blaines that Mr.. Eiaine excited the
House by his rapid manner and his en-
ergy of utterance, frequently arousing
antagonisms. and adding heat to the de-
bates. The House feared Mr.. Blaine;
it respects Mr.. Kerr, and his speaker
ship is thus far more successful than
many OF his own friends thonght it could
be- Washington Cor. Boston Herald.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
A Pigmy Graveyard in Tennessee.

An ancient graveyard of vast proper
tions has been found in Coffee county.
1t is similar to those found in White
county and other places in Middle Ten
nessee, but is vastly more extensive, and
shows that the race of pigmies who once
inhabited this country were very numer-
Gus. The same peculiarities of position
observed in the White county graves are
found in these. The writer of the letter
describing the burying-place, says
" Some considerable excitement and Gu
riosity took place few days since near
Hillsboro, Coffee county, on James
Browns farm. A man was blowing in a
field which has been cultivated many
years, and plowed up mans skull and
other bones. After making further ex-
animation, they found that there was
about six acres in the graveyard. They
were buried in sitting or standing po-
sibion. The bones show that they were
o dwarf tribe Of people, about three feet
high. It is estimated that there were
abut ZOO to 100000 buried there. -
Nashville American.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
"HossEs Ii HOSES. /"
nv BRET HARTE.

Beautiful SIR. You may say 80. Thar isn't her
match IN the county
L thAr old gait chqaits my darling; my e wSas
; steady-ah. win you'll you vixenl
whoas say. Jack. trot her out; Let the gentleman
look ether PAGES.
morgant-she amt nothin' else and I've got the
sired by chippews Chief. and twelve hundred dol
lars won't buy her:
fuiggs of Tuolumne owned her. Did you know
Briggs OF Tuolumne4-
Busted hssef in White Pine and blew out his brains
downfn Trisoos
He'd MT no sayey-bed Briggs. Thar, Jack! thatn
do-quit that fooIin'l
Nothin TO what she kin do whom she's got he- work
out out before her.
Hoses Is hoeses, you know, and likewise, too, jock
eys Ia Jockeys:
And faint every man as can ride as knows what
hose has got In him.
Know that old ford on the Fork. that nearly got
Fanigan's ieadersf
NASTY IN daylight, you bet and mighty rough ford
In low watert
Wen. 1t amt elk weeks ago that n,e and the ledge
STRUCK for thai ford in the night, in the rain, and
Che water all round us.
Up to our tanks In the gulch. and Rattlesnakes
Greek just biiin',
Not plank left in the dam. and nary bridge on
the river.
had the gray. and the Jedge had his roam. and his
And after us tryndied the rocks lust ioosed from
the top Of the canon.
Lickity, lickity, switch. we came to the ford and
ohiquita
Bucitied right down to her work, and sfore could
yell to her rider,
Took water jest at the ford and there the ledge
and me standing,
And twelve hundred dollars of hoss-nesh afoat, an
driftin' to thunder!
Would We b1ieve it, that night, that hoss-that ar
fiNy-Chiquita-
Walked herself into her stall, and stood there all
quiet and dripping
0ean as beaver or rat with nary buckle of har-
81 ness.
Just she swan the Fork-that boss, that ar
Firy, Chiquita.
That's what l call a boss and-what did you say I?
%. the nevey?
Drownded, reckon-leastwise he never KEN back
60 deny It.
We zee the derned fool had no seat-you couldn't
have made him q rider;
Aud then, we know, boys will be boys, and hosses-
well bosses is bosses!
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
Mnnchaalsen in Georgia.

The Cuthbert (Ga.) Messenger con
tests the foremost place with the follow
ing: Zone day last week some negro
children were playing near caeek in
Quitnlan county, when an alligator
crawled ont and swallowed one. of the
childaen. Next day a party caught the
alligator, cut him open, and took the
little negro out alive. This is no news
papen lie, but was reported to us by q
lawyer (and they never ie), who SUBJ
starstiates she statement by two negroes
who saw the clLild. We don't question
the allegation, but we strongly suspect
the alligator. Why don't these Quit
man folks keep their children away from
the alley-gate q
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
CeasumptiOn OF Beer.

According to M. Noback, an eminent
French scientist, very little beer is con-
sumed in the United States in compari-
son with European countries, some of
which are not larger than one of our
States. M. Nobaek computes that each
person in Bavaria consumes upon the
average 54s gallons per annum; in Bel
GUM, 45s gallons; in Wurtemburg, 49,
gallons; in Great Britain and Ireland,
293 gallons; in Saxony, 10 gallons;; in
Baden, Ii gallons; in Alsace- Lorraine,
12t gallons; in Prussia and Hanover. 81
gallons; in Holland, 81 gallons; and in
Austria, 81 gallons. In the United
States, however, each inhabitant con-
sumes per annnm but 81 gallons.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
Great Floods In France.

The Paris correspondent of the New
York Herald telegraphs as follows:
:" The terrible foundations have effectu-
ally thrown cold water on French poll
tics, and the noise of the ston1as has
drowned for the momens the hum of the
Legislature Mt Versailles. Almost all the
French rivers have overfowed their
banks, and Paris is beginning to resem-
bic Venice, boating parties being one of
the necessities of the hour, although
tOhel ie canot' is not the pleasant
sound it used to be. There have been
no such succession of storms and floods
in France since the breaking up of the
winter in the ever memorable year of
1873 The damage to property has been
enormous all over the country"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
A Colorado Town.

With a popu'ation at present nearly
400, and far exceeding thai last fall, it
has never, in all these years, had death
or wedding never has bad Sunday
school or religious services of any kind I;
has neither doctor nor lawyer whose
time is devoted exclusively 10 profess
sional business has no dance-houses or
courtesans (; had printing Office before
it had n store, saloon, saw-mill, or post
Office has n public school attended by
about thirty pupils and is particularly
remarkable for the high moral tone which
pervades it's society.-Lake City (Cbl)
Sitver World.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
Wit and HumOr.

A CIRCULAR saw-a proverb that goes
the round of society.
THE higher classes-the "lore
classes. The lower classes-the "hire
classes.
JOHN MAcKAY's income is $500, OO0a
month. He lives In this country, and ls
not railroad president. He owns
silver mine.
A CERTAIN woman, never q WIDOW,
frequently speaks of her Late nus,
band" because he never gets home I'LL
after midnight.
AMAN who offered bail for friend
was asked by the Judge if he had an in,
cumbrance ON his farm. son, yes,
said he, "my wife"
SPEAKING of names, q lady once ac-
costed another at an evening party thus
"Why, don't You know me! I'm
Hogg." Her father had borne that name.
PRoF. LOWELL, as illustrating the
humorous, mentions an advertisement
that caught his eye some time since 4:
"Wanted, by boy, situation In an
eating house. He is used to the pusi-
ness.
Our in the Black Hills, when you buy
bowl of bean soup, you take OF your
coat, dive for a bean, and when you
come up with it the proprietor OF the sa-
loon takes it away from you, and says
you only paid for the soup.
A GREEN BAY man, when praised for
having lived with his wife for twenty
three years without cross word be-
tween them, dryly replied: And yet,
if she wanted velvet cloak, and l
wouldn't get it, she might poison me!
Mr.. RENTz, the new clothier in Dan
bury, has excited public curiosity by
having large apple painted on his sign.
When asked for an explanation, he qul-
city inquired t" If it hadn't been for an
apple, where would the ready made cloth
ing stores be to-day3"
A LAWYER, about to finish bill for
costs, was requested by his client,
baker, to make it as light as possible.
"Ahl" said the lawyer, "you might
properly enough say that to the foreman
of your establishment; but that is not
the way make my bread"
SAID Buffalo lawyer the other day, in
the course of his plea when man
sits down to eat his dinner in the bosom
of his family" Here he was inter
rupted by his opponent with, "That's
curious proceeding for q full-grown
man."
"DxAn, dear who broke my favori,e egg"
Cried Biddy Bantam to her daughter;
Some lazy cur, too proud to beg,
Has mashed it-and he hadn't ougbt ter"
The child gave one pathetic craw,
Her rueful tears began to thioken,
She sobbed aloud 81 broke IL, ma u
This little person il my chicken.
Some slbumen and lime III buy
and make another one to match it;
o maj cannot tell lie
did IL with my little hatch III"
THREE or four Detroit girls We're the
other day discussing the character and
standing of certain young man, and an
old lady was close listener. One of
the girls finally remarked: "Wen, I
guess he's rich, for 1 saw him coming
out of bank the other day." "And
guess he drives street car" put In the
old lady, for I saw him jump off car
one day last week. Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
JOblink Escapes.

Joblink sat reading his paper in his
peaceful home last evening when the fol-
lowing item attracted his attention.:
The Wonaan's Journal wants women
regularly drafted in the army, "not
merely to fight, but to make clothing
and accouterments, to cook, wash and
nurse"
Joblink raised his eyes from the Jour-
nal and riveted them upon the face and
form of Mrs. Joblink, .grimly and pious-
ly perusing the Bible at the other side of
the table. The gaze was so long and
steady that Mrs. Joblink, feeling its in
fuence, looked up. Joblink started,
turned red, and pretended to be reading
with uncommon interest.
whats the matter with you nowl"
snapped the good woman.
Nothing, my DEAR" replied the dis
ingenious husband.
"What are you reading there, Job
hnkl Something about women again,
1 s'pose."
Eyes, my DEAR" stammered Joblink.
what is it 2" demanded the lady.
And Joblink read:
"The Won,dn's Journal truly says
Man may at times have glimmerings
of that profound beauty of soul which
belongs alone to women. He may in his
higher moments perceive that innate pu-
rity of mind and instructive love of
truth inseparable from the sex. Man
may see these things from afar off, but
his grosser nature keeps him eternally
from reaching the angelic level"
Very true" said Mrs. Jobhnk, re-
turning to her Bible.
Joblink heaved sigh of relief, and, if
anybody had been there to observe him,
he would have seen that ordinarily Sc
date gentleman winking to himself from
time to time and chuckling inaudibly.-
Virginia (Nep.) Chronicle.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
NV CoNoUERER-

O wfched suggestion Of malice, "
You know what cannot refuse
And yet, when play with you, Alice,
Ne fate from the frsti TO lose.
IT'S not that you scheme like German,
OR wonderful tactics display;
Your eyes so decree in hrman,
Ny heart lie compelled TO obey.
Then who can withstand the confusion
You always contrive 10 createf
Your king and my queen I'm coliusion,
Soon manage TO settle her fate.
Your knights, without pang or compunct'on'
At pleasure assume TO be rocks;
Your pawns, with bishop-hke JUNCTION,
Make moves never taught In the booss.
Your queen thinks her foes too enraptured
To harm her wherever she moves;
And coolly declines 10 be captured,
When daring unfortunate proves.
With triumph and victory laden,
Their efforts she treats with disdain;
All, say, IL she not like the maioen
My heart has been suing In vsinv
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31
Fun In the United states senate.

In retreat near this city is ex-senator
Nye, or at least what remains OF his
once brilliant intellect, genial Qualities,
and manly person. Struck down by a
melancholy disease, beyond the hope of
recovery, he only awaits happy release
from earthly ills. And yet few, If any,
remember him other than with the kind
Hest feelings, when he is remembered
at all. Happening in the Senate one
day, we found Mr.. Summer giving his
torical account of the " first blood :"
shed in the rebellion. Mr.. Sumner
stated that negro citizen had been
beaten and maltreated by mob at Alex
andria, had escaped from his persecu-
tors, and, fleeing to the Capitol, told the
story of his wrongs. When he lifted
his cap from his head, "three drops of
blood" fell upon the marble floor A
discussion followed in reference to the
services of the volunteers in Washing
ton, who enrolled themselves to protect
the capital from invasion, in which Sen
ators Nye and Willard Salisbury, of
Delaware, participated.
81 was in Washington in that trying
hour" exclaimed Nye, land enrolled
myself as volunteer to defend the cap
ital of the nation from the rebels who
threatened its capture !"
"Did you fire guns" roared Willard
Salisbury from his seat, unable under
the pressure of circumstances to arise.
"No!" retorted Nye. "The rebels
didn't come as We expected. They dis
appointed u.s."
"Then, Mr.. President" said Sauls-
bury, with great gravity, 81 wish to
claim equal credit with my friend from
Nevada. 1, too, was present, and volun-
teered on that memorable occasion"
"Did you fire gun2" demanded
Nye.
"No!" exclaimed Salisbury. in thun
der tones, Z" I did not fire gun; but
must remind the gallant Senator from
Nevada that, in the bloodiest battle il
which he was ever engaged, was by
his side.
The Senate fairly shrieked with laugh
ter, in which Nye and the gallerie:
ioined.-Noah's Sunday Times.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

THxRE is in Beach Island, near Au
gusta, s. c., youthful horseback rider
who surpasses even the celebrated Rob
ert Sticlney. He is only about thirteen
years of age. Jumping upon his horse,
he stands perfectly erecs, urges the ami
NAL to sweeping gallop, and thus rides
for miles over hill and dale. While thus
standing on the bare back of his horse,
he often rests ON one foot, raising the
other, and changes from the right to the
left at will.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

HENRY BEAVER, of Chester, Delaware
county, Pa, has Bible thet was printed
in 1899, or 277 years ago. Ii has in it
Il record of birth in 1924, of death
in 1929, and of marriage in 1872.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

In the crown of England there are one
large ruby. one large sapphire, sixteen
sapphires, eleven emeralds, four rubies,
1,363 brilliant diamonds, 1878 rose dia-
monds. LAT sable diamonds, drop
pearls, and 273 pearls.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

JOSH BILLINGS says: "Most men will
concede that it looks foolish to see a boy
dragging heavy sled up hill for the
fleeing pleasure of sliding down again.
But 1t appears to me the boy is sage
by the side of Young man who works
hard all the week, and drinks "up his
wages on Saturday night.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

GEN. Tom THUMB is reported 10 have
in contemplation the establishment OF
an extensive stock-ranche in Texas.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

Had he possessed little moral courage,
l shuddsr 10 think what might have been
the result.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

The population of Paris in 1874 was
1851, 1872. On the LIST of January, 1876,
it was only 1893, ESQ.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

The next morning at an early hour
/ proceeded to the field with my second.
Capt. Achilles Bre,On aOds notOhere
to be seen!
protested great deal Of disappoint-
ment, and insisted on waiting three hours
to allow him time to appear. Of course
it was in vain. All, however, testified
to the remarkable courage which / dis
played under the circumstances, and
rendered their congratulations. The
affair even found its way into the pa
pers, and 1 found myself all at once ele-
waited into hero. / could not walk
Broadway without being furtively point
ed out as the celebrated duelist. Among
the ladies, particularly, ] became an OBJ
ject Of great attention--a circumstance
that may well excite surprise when it is
con idered that my only claims to their
regard lay in my having been implicated
in an affair which the moral sense of the
community Processes to condemn.
Soon afterward / left my boarding
place, 10 the great regret of the fair So
phronia. 1 afterward learned that, had
1 shown the white feather, it was ar
ranged that Lieut.. Eustace should force
me into a marriage with his cousin, on
pain of duel with himself. The extra
ordinary show of courage which 1 ex-
hibited imposed upon him TO such an
extent that be did not think it advisable
to offer the alternative, lest should ac-
cept the duel.
have heard nothing Of Capt. Achilles
Brown since the memorable day on which
he did me the service to sail for Cuba.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-03-31

A CIRCULAR saw-a proverb that goes
the round of society.
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-09-28

be less than from ,000to 1000 votes day.
People are coming out by scores ana hundreds
IN every county III the State for the Independ-
ent ticket. Our next Governor, Hon. Arson
Wolcott, has Just completed series Of ap
pontrnents in tie central and southern parts Of
the State including Hartford City, Winchester,
Muncie, Anderson, New Castle, Richmond,
Martlnsville, dosport, spencer, Worthlngton,
and Evansville At almost every point he was
greeted by audiences varying from 900 TO
900 voters. Ia almost every instance he had
larger audiences than greet the orators ct either
Of the old parties, although both are employ
ing men OF national reputation and the best
speakers that money and the promise of Office
can procure. The daily papers OF the country,
being In the hands OF the enemy ,scrupltoasiy
omit the mention Of tie great outponrina Of the
people to hear the Independent orators, or if
they mention them at ali, it is but to misrspre
sent them and circulate false reports.
Knowing the strength OF the Independent
party III indianapolis, We say to the people that
It can ana will carry the State, if independents
but do half their duty An earnoast. steady,
determined, strong pull, sll along the line from
now until the October election viii elect the
independent 6re8lhack ticket throughout by
. handsome majority, and give the STATE TO
! Cooper ard Cary ii November BY 1000.
! Work, is Ihe wa,chworo OF the hour. Don't
wait for your ntirhoor or a committee or some
body else to 90 the necessary werh, hut let ev-
cry individual put his shoulder 70 the wheel.
Speak to your neighhor on the subject. Urge
upon him his duty Distribute documents.
Silence the doubters, and Sc to work. Go to
work to ain.
| Pay 10 attention 10 the multitude Of lies chat
| will ill the ali from this time until election.
| They are the weak inventions Of 4 crafty foe,
and affect only weak minds
The Greenbackers organizing in Nicoet
CO.
A cal is ont for . Peoples Independent
/ 6reenback Convention OF NIcollet county, to
meet q. Nicolet Station, Oct ,lth, to nominate
a comfy ticket including member OF the
/ Legislature. We learn from prominent citizen
\ that Democrats and Republicans are swarming
i into the new movement, aud twill stand or fan
by the greenback cause, fodder or no fodder,
'hoppers Or no hoppers.
Good! that is the spirit in which to wage the
battle. Cast the old parties to the dogs They
ara hopelessy corrupt and rotten, and belong
/ to past generation =.
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-09-28

We regret to learn that Judge Crosby pro
poses 10 hold special term Of the district
court to try these furderers ct once This IS
mistake --Anti M0nopolst.
No. ID is nol q mistake II is wiilful, ma
hcious he, and D3nneitT knew hs lied when
he 9roteit .-I2st..1s Gazette.
Thank YOU, irving. Nothing Pike be-
ing emphatic even i you disloeate yonr
hat.
The tact is, that he Hastings cores
pondeut OF the ST. Paul Dispatch stated
that q special terra 81 The court would be
held. TO Try the murderers at once; and
tbas was common talk all over tie coun>
81
The further iac. il, that Judge Crosby
conferred Wit. the county sattorney, and
la view Of the crowded condition 81 the
ias, suggested tbs propriety Of no ns
sbea 8 special term aud the count +
5ognev t3eh tbs 1a.ter INTO consid on
aet finally aeei & against ii.
The tuw1aer fse. i. that We made and
intended ~ reflection upon Judge eros
b4 who we DELI will IL his duty in
Nhe tremse- asl tue Judge does not
t4aaN Told tcrte@riar ais shirt III such
auobstroporoq manner. Bns me- Thing
"A .th-T be-llat Il nothing il not insolent.
The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-09-28

The Republicans Of Ohio are greatly alarm
ed, and With good reason, at the detection
from their ranks Of large numbers Of so-eaile1
Greenbackers IN the manufacturing and other
districts Leading men Of substance and char,
aates. who are not infa.ionists, hut who regard
assumption at q fixed dayI as impracticat.e, are
openly deserving their former colors. aany u
this class, v he are disguised with Graatisn
party, will vote for -liideD Willie another lass,
believing ID cheap money, may throw away
thair votes on Peter Cooper. ---Aeao York SIR.
Long before the election it viii be
,naie evident thai the men who vote for
Tilden are throwing away their votes,
and that the battle is really between
Cooper and Hayes.