The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1876-06-20
Sense and nu,lse,1se,

A hotel ghost comes under the official
head OF inn spectres.
"Sounds just as loud as new quar-
ter" chucklss Midas, as he drops five-
cent nickel into the contribution box.
Josh Billings-Jokeing is risky biz
ness; just for the sake ov second class
joke, menny man haz lost fust class
friend.
Professor to student, reciting: "De-
fine q cylinder" Student: "A cylinder
lis vacuum surrounded by curved
surface"
'Giles, can you oonjugate behaves !?
"Behaves-behoove -beehives-be.-"
''See, here! You go and stand in the
corner.
And now comes d Boston WOMEN
who, to out-do her fashionable sisters
with their twenty button gloves, has in
vented and wears forty button stockings.
Those who quit their proper charac-
ter to assume what does not belong to
them are for the great part ignorant
both of the character they leave and OF
the character they assume.
According to the judgment of New
Milford man, who had seven men to as
sist him to his feet, ''the hind end of a
mule is much more premature than the
front end."- ."-Ddnbury Ne,rs.
Shocked and astonished verger-"You
bad and wicked boy, why don't you
take off your hat in church 7" Bad and
wicked boy Overcome with guilt)--"If
you please, sir, I'm a little girl. Fun,
When Fuchs received the news that
he would rot be hung he buried his face
in his hands, burst into tears, and mur.
INJURED, "Vell, dots goot. / guess We
haf some bier !'-New York Graphic.
at is strange" muttered q young
man, IS he staggered home from sup.
per party, show evil communications
corrupt good manners. l have been
surrounded by tumblers all the evening,
and now am tumbler myself"
"Max" wants to know how be may
break through the eonventionality which
compels him to leave his girl at half
past ten o'clock. Give minister 81 SO
and tell him to put stop to it.--Hort.
ford Times.
There is growing feeling among the
American people that the man who can
hear a fellow mortal complain of cold
in the head, and abstain from telling
him what to do for it, is the man who
should be the next president Burling
ton Ha.ok- Eye.
Smith and Brown, running opposite
ways around corner, struck each other.
'"Oh, dear! how you made my head
ring!" said Smith "That's . sign its
hollow said Brown. eBut didn't yours
ring2' ''No." "That's sign it's crack
ed," replied his friend.
The "Belle Americaine." ."-Suitor--
swell, may hope then, dear, that at
some future time may have the hap
piness Of making you my wife" Amer
ican charmer-"Yes, ] hope so, I'm
sure, for I'm getting real tired of suing
fellows for breach of promise of mar
riage."-Punch.
The whirligig of fashion msy. bring
round the most sudden and dazzling
changes, and the duties of the toile,
may multiply like leaves In Valambrosa,
but there is nothing that will make a
woman stand before her looking-glass
so long as sunburnt nose.-Brooklyu
Argus.
81 wish l might die," sighed a mid.
dle.aged maiden, as she hung like limp
bolster out of the third story front win.
dow on a Sunday afternoon and espied
a man whom she had once coquettishly
rejected placidly propelling an SlS baby
cart-Brooklyn Argus.
A shocking crime has been detected
in the neighborhood of Gerardanes, in
the Vosges, France. A child three years
old was taken to an inaccessible part ol
the mountains in .nidwinter by her un.
Gle, with the consent of its own unnatu
raj mother, to perish there from hunger
and cold.
Godefroy, say the Parisians, is mod.
Ell prisoner Born in 1914. he has pass
ed his life in and out of prison since
l1S41. His conduct is excellent in pris
on; he is useful, and Industrious When
liberated he spends his savings in drink,
and these exhausted, he emplores the
police to lead him "home"-to prison
Liberty is burdensome to him.
1t has cost the Government $4,000
for carriage hire for the Secretary oI
War during the present Administration
up to the time of Belknap's resignation,
During his seven years service the
coach was rarely used for public service
Bills for coach hire in Washington will
fall off greatly after the rest of Boss
Grants party hacks are driven FROM
office.
Scene, Paris street corner. Gen
looks about anxiously for commits
sionaire, and addresses smiling lady
concierge who stands watching in .
doorway: "Do you know, madame
where the commissionaire is ?" With {
smile: ".Parfaitement. monsieur r.
"Will he be back soon2' Still smiling
':Probably; it ought all to be over by
this time" "Where has he gone, then 2
With beaming smile: "To my hus
hands funeral"
One of the latest contributions Of tn
Pacific coast to the Centennial is gen
tleman by the name of Mackey. Mr
Mackey is. a millionaire, and of lat
wears a several millionaire; in fact, hi
income every month would, according
to sober calculation of those who know
make millionaire of the poorest pau
per going He owns three-eighths O
the bonanza mines in Nevada. Macke
and his three frugal and hard-workin
neighbors, Fair, Flood and O'Brien, ar
reckoned to have accumulated altogeth
er about Sl00,0O0,000
Mr.. Weed gives the Herald an intel
esting "reminiscences of how he CONVEX
ted the elder Bannett and the paper t
the side of the Union and the Govern
meut, in the early days of the Rebellion
Though he had had no relations of an
sort with Mr.. Bennett for over thirt
, years, he undertook this mission at Il