The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1876-04-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

Old Gent,-''SpIing chickens, Ain't they
monstrous snail Z"
Dealer.-'I hope ye haven't forgot that
we had very late Spring. here r.
The Isle Of Wight boasts Of being able
to do one thing which no other place in the
world can caccomplish, 1T furnishes ex-
cellent mutton from Cowes
Bless you, said John Henry with tears
In his eyes, ''she takes her own hair of 90
easy that Perhas she doesn't know how it
hurts to have mine pulled out"
An old Dutchman froze his nose. While
thswing the frost out he said, 81 hat carry
dat nose forty year, unit he never freese
hisself before. do understand dis ting"
Esqulmaux theologlans reverse heaven
and hell, placing the penitent and saved
I'D sheltered world underground. and
keeping the sinners above, where they are
frozen.
writer complained to a publisher that
his articles did not meet with q very warm
reception. "Well, answered the publish
er, II don't know about that We burn
them all, at any rate
Frenchman brought two mugs to the
milkman in the place of one, as usual. and
on being asked the meaning Of it replied.
Dis for to milk and dls for To water.
and | will mix dem 30 as to suit myself"
IF man hasn't right TO kiss his own
wife, whose wife has he right to kiss T.
said young husband to his spouse. who
objected to having her laces mussed lust
q the couple were going out to a party.
The fellow knows better than do, said
the wife.
Young Lady from the Country 10 bar
ber.-DO you sell striped stockings here 7"
Barber.-''Certainly not. This is q
shaving saloon"
Young Lady.-"Well, what yer got that
sign out for, then -
The Little Rascal. eli, Jimmie. come
here and see de fun. A gal has dropped
her 'brella n things an can't get down ter
pick em up wild her pull-back. Come on
an well make her give us a quarter apiece
to pick EN- up for her"
The Last Bull. An Irishman recently
handed in to to the telegraph Office a dis.
patch intended to intended to inform
another emeralder employed upon the
public works in neighboring town Of the
decease of friend. 1t reads thus -
Barney, come home died last night"
A somewhat juvenile dandy said Il fair
partner at ball Miss, don't YOU think
my moustaches are becoming 7" To which
the miss replied 'Well, sir, they NAV
be coming, but they have not arrived
yet"
A keen witted servand girl in Troy, New
York, told the milkman the other day that
te gave his cows too much salt "How do
you know that :" said the lacteal-ist. Sure
kin tell be he milk that they drink too
much wather entirely Y said the girl. The
milkman drove of in hurry.
That was a sharp reply Of the old Scotch
woman who had astanding quarrel with her
minister, but was always in her place at
church. The minister expressed surprised
that she should come to hear him preach,
when she exclaimed, MY quarrel's wi
you, mon its not wi the gospel"
A Scotch gentleman Of fortune, on his
death-bed, asked rsked the minister
whether, is he left G1O 600 to the kirk,
his salvation would be certain" The eau
tious minister responded, Il would ma like
| " pc POsHtoef Dut IL Weel worth the try
ing" The gentleman paid the money, and
soon afterward gave up the ghost
One Of the best puns ever perpetrated
was that Of the witty esssyist, Chas Lamb,
who when once walking out with Theodore
Hook, on turning a corner, discovered a
boy running away from a legend he had
not completed and which read, DAY a.
Martins B" On observing this, Lamb
quickly remarked, The rest seems to be
lacking.
1t was a sweet household picture She
was red in the face and scolding a hurri-
cane his nose was bleeding where the
rolling pin struck him, and he was swear
ing cataract the children were crying.
/ Over the door hung q mottn, God bless
our home, there was q chrono represent
ing Faith Hope and Charity over the man
tie, and . plaster burst of peace on the
\ book case.
There is a deacon in Cleveland who is
training at present with the noble army of
independent voters. The other day a party
man twitted bin with being On the fence
Yes, said our deacon, 81 am on the
fence, and there propose to stay a. long
as it Is SO confoundedly muddy on both
sides