The Arizona sentinel., 1876-08-05
MISCELLANY.
Aug. ;

In0TO are IlkSly UU U0 d uuulU0I of Young widows in Utah soon.
 It is gwen on the authority of a New Orleans paper that there is in that city a hog with his ears SO far back that he cannot hear him. self squeal.
 Profanity in Texas is against the law, $100 worth each time. They think of enforcing the law for a month and paying the na- tional debt.
 A man being asked, as he lay summing himself on the grass, what was the height of his ambi- tion, replied, "To marry a rich widow with a bad cough"
 Dr. Wander Weyde says first rate article of jelly can be made from old boots. And almost any printing office can furnish enough old boots to make a barrel of that sort of jelly.
 Sixteen years ago Tom Kenyon went to Kansas City with cent, and the other day he signed check for sixteen thousand dol lars. He signed with another mans name, however.
 Mark Twain, speaking of new mosquito netting. writes: "The day is coming when we shall sit under our nets in church and slumber peacefully, while the dis cOmfited flies club together and take it out of the minister"
 A citizen of Dakota took Turk. ish bath in Omaha @ few days ago, and died within an hour. The verdict of the jury was: "He hadn't ought to have got so much ofthe mud off ofhim at one time." The few men who are still earn est advocates of the theory that lager beer does not intOXicate, still cling fondly to the good old custom of winding the clock at two a. m. with hair brush.
 A matter of fact fellow, while featuring in Yorkshire on the Fe- jee Islands offered to show the native manner of preparing food if any lady present would lend him baby. It is needless to say that the baby wasn't forthcoming.
 We notice sixty-fve cent shirts advertised in our exchanges. We shall never insult our manhood by getting into as cheap a rag as that. No rather let us continue to deceive an unsuspecting public with papers:collar skillfully pin. ned to the roof of 8 close-button- ed vest. - Cincinnati Saturday Night.
 A New Jersey editor lost his best gold pen and holder a few days ago. After making thor ough search all over the office, and accusing a dozen tramps of it's theft, he happened to remember where he last placed it, and bend ing down the top of his ear, dis covered noless than fourteen pen holders of various styles which he had lost during the past two years.
 Cornwalis, Nova Scota, has a lady teacher who kisses the first boy who gets to school in the morning, and the small boys are crowded out of school by children of a larger growth, who roost on the fences all night so as to be up early,
 A Ayoung husband in Little Fails, N. Y., planned to scare his wife, with whom he had quarreled. He went into the wOodshed, fired off a gun, arranged himself on the ground as bogus corpse, and waited for her to come out and faint at sight of him. She didn't come, however, and he was com. pelled to sneak into the house and hear her say, "I didn't scare worth cent, did ?"
 A Massachusetts father has brought about the arrest of a fe- male teacher for f1ogging his pre- cious little George Washington. George had only defaced an orna- mented tree in the school house yard, and having been caught in the act, had no opportunity of initiating the first President.
 We passed the window the other evening and they were having a little family jar. She called him ''an old fool" and he called her a ''tea kettle" "You're tea ket- tle," he repeated vehemently, you'll sing pleantly one minute and boil over the next" We didn't stay to hear any more.
 An experienced physician says that any man who continues to make use of chloral-a sleep-giv- ing drug-is sure to be killed by it in the long run. Its action can never be relied upon, certain con ditionc of fho nhuciooI