davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

\ DLTRoIT LAWYER PRACTICES HIS FOURTH o
July SPEECH UNDER pIFFICULTIEs.

4 DETRoIr LAWYER PRACTICES HIS FOURTH OF
JULY SPEECH UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
The Detroit Free Press tells story about
a certain Detroit lawyer who was invited to
deliver Fourth of July Grafton in an inte-
rior town. Having never delivered one. and
being anxious to distinguish himself. he
commenced week ago TO tit himself for
the task. lie isn't man 10 stand up and
read a speech. and he isn't the man who
would break down delivering one. lie
planned to spend an hour in grove near
Harper Hospital each morning. and he
would have hit the nail on the head If folks
had let him alone. Everything passed off
all right the first morning. He made halt
dozen good hits at tyranny, got IN a lett
handler on the nose OF monopoly. and cuffed
high taxation all around the grove. He
praised liberty. pstted Bunker Hill on the
back, extolled Washington. and sprinkled
sad tears on the memory OF the rustlng PHI
grim Fathers. But the second morning
brought the boys. They had sscertaiued
his object, and were there ahead Of him.
When he mounted a log and asked an i'm
aginary audience to 60 back with him to
the birth of freedom. a boy behind a brush
heap groaned. The lawyer went en-. With
one hand on the sacred old bell of lndepen-
dence Hall, and the other on the tomb of
Washington, he said 'Hark it's the
thunder of cannon at Yorktown. 'Tis the
tread Of your patriot grancsires marching
toward the sunrise OF freedom. '' 'Taint
neither its a freight train bellerin' for the
Woodward avenue crossin'," yelled boy
in the fence corner. The lawyer couldn't
get around those boys. and he had to quit.
lie went an hour later the next morning
and avoided them, but while he was get
ting off beautiful thing on the happy
household of States. an old woman
came crawling through the fence and
wanted to know if he had seen any stray
| goose around there. and she then intimated
that he looked like man that would steal
a whole hock OF geese on the slightest prov
ocation The lawyer was in the grove at
sunrise next morning. and fer halt an hour
he had it all his own way. Then a man
with big nose came along and said he had
a lease OF that grove and wanted no luna
tic hollering around there. But | won't
hurt your grove. protested the lawyer. -
know you won't hurt the trees" answered
the man. but pasture my COW in here
and your talks disturbs her. She's lost fit-
teen pounds of fat since you began coming
here" /. isn't at all likely that the lawyer
will deliver any Fourth of July oration. Ii
it wouldn't pay to 81 bire a hall, and go
where he will IN the suburbs some one will
ask him to pull down his chin, or suspect
him of designs against henroosts-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
The First Celebration ofthe Fourth.

Frank Moore's Diary of the Revolution in
forms US that on the very first anniversary
of independence Day, July 4th, HI, Bos.
ton celebrated with good deal of enthusi-
asm, enhanced, OF course, by the fact that
the city had endured long and bitter siege
within two years, and been delivered from
the presence of the British by Washington.
The Boston celebration in l7777 was curious
ly alike the modern article, consisting of sa-
lutes from the forts and the MALTA, and the
drinking OF toasts by the officers and people
lin the evening, Col. Crafts illuminated his
park on the Common threw several shells and
exhibited a number of fireworks" In the
forenoon, the General Court, which, by the
way, took charge of and ordered the whole
celebration. attended divine service, when
Rev. Mr.. Gordon preached from the text :
"W therefore, the king hearkened not unto
the people for the cause was for the Lord. y
etc. At Philadelphia, on the same day,
the Continental Congress was banqueted in
an elegant manner by the citizens, the ship
ping displayed colors and fired salutes of l3
guns One of the curious features of the
banquet was the music, which was furnished
by the Hessian band captured at the battle
of Trenton, the preceding Christmas. There
was also the ringing OF bells and hre-works
in the evening, so that gunpowder and fire
and noise have accompanied the Fourth
from the earliest times. Probably our trade
with China was still too immature to permit
of the presence of the sacred fre-cracker
and the precise date of the introduction o
this nuisance we shall have to leave to be de
termined by some more leisurely investiga
tor. 1t is noticeable that the Pennsy lyania
Journal, in describing the celebration, use
for the first time. probably, the expression
''the glorious Fourth cf July, and close
with the invo cation that it may thus b'
celebrated thu ough America by the sons o
freedom, from age TO axe, till time shall b'
no more. Amen, and Amen"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
A Fearful Bump.

They had a lecture on phrenology in Nor
ristown short time ago from travelling
professor of that science, and part of it was
quite entertaining. He had on the stand
several plaster head mapped out in town
lots, and after he explained what they meant
he invited persons in the audience to come up
and let him feel their bumps and explain
their characters Several times he hit it
pretty accurately, and excited a considerable
amount of applause, but after 4 while old ID.
stepped up for examination. He is an ab-
sent-minded man, and he wears wig.
While dressing himself before coming to the
lecture be had placed the wig on the bureau
and accidentally tossed his plug of tobacco
into it. When he put the wig on it was Just
like him not TO notice the plug and 50 when
he mounted the platform he had q lump just
over his bump Of combatiyeness as big as
half hens egg. The professor fingered
about while over ID. 5 head, and then said
I've have here somewhat remarkable
skull. The perceptive faculties strongly de-
yeloped reflective faculties quite good;
ideality large; reference so great as to be
unusual, and beneyolenee very prominent.
Secretiveness is small, and the subject, there
fore, is a man of candor and trankness; he
communicates what he knows freely. We
have also, said the Professor, still plowing
his fingers through DIS hair, "inquisitiye-
ness not large, the subject is not grasping,
avaricious man he lives literally, he-he-
he Why, it can't be- Yes. Why,
what in the Munifcent Moses that's
the most awful developement of combatiye
ness | ever heard Of Are you prize-fghter,
eh ?r
"Prize-fghter - exclaimed D. why,
what do you mean? -
Never been soldier, or pirate, or any
thing like that p
You certainly must be crazy
Amt you fond of going into scrimmages
and rows, and hammering people,"
Certainly not
Well, sir, then YOU re untrue to your ma
tare. The way your heads built qualities
you, | should say, il a special manner. as a
knocker-down and a dragger-out. If you
want to fulfil you mission you will devote
the remainder Of your life 10 battering up
your fellow men and and keeping yourself in
one lnterminable and eternal muss. You've
got the awfulest fighting bump that ever
decorated a human skull. Its phenomenal.
" Inv al fbu AAhN lDt NOul lithu Nutu Obu
die Gentlemen, this man is liable at any
moment to commence raging around this
community like 4 wildcat, banging you with
a club or anything that comes handy. 1t
ism safe for him to be at large
Then d. put his hand upto feel the bump,
and he noticed the tobacco. He pulled off
his wig, and there was the plug sticking be
hind his left ear. Then the Professor, look
Ing az it moment in confusion, said:
ladies and gentlemen, We will now-the
lecture is-that Is, have no more. Boy,
turn out those lights"
Then the audience laughed, and D. put
on his wig. and the Professor started to catch
the late train.
The science Of phrenology is not as popu-
lar in Norristown as it was, and D. still re-
mains peaceable.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

The INsoLENcE OF HUNoR.-Iiow much of
all that passes for humorous is simply pro-
fame. or indecent, or brutal? Half the hu-
morous stories that pass current in the world
are unfit for publication. The great humor-
lists from Rabelais to Swift or Sterne, are no
longer quotable in their naked reality; and
as the world becomes more decorous, humOr
becomes tongue-tied and obsolete. of fthe
jests that survive, half, again, owe their
merit to their inhumanity. Look at any of
the current stories of Douglass Jerold. who
passed for humorist in these later days.
Every recorded jest of his that have seen
in gross incivillty made palatable by pun.
The substance Of each phrase, is, You are a
fool the art consists in so wrapping the in
science in play of words that hearers laugh
and the victim is depriSedlof sympathy. at
was your father, then, who was not so hand
some p is one of Tallyerand's brilliant retorts
to a man who spoke of his mothers beauty.
What is this but to say ''You are an ugly
beast" and to evade the legitimate resent
ment of the sufferer? If tine poor wretch
had some harmless vanity, and iancied that
some reflection Of a mothers beauty still
fingered upon his misshappen features, would
any man of decent kind heartedness tear
away this poor little salve to self esteem for
the sake ola laugh? Diseur de bons mot,
maurais earactere, says Pascal, and he never
said truer thing.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
NEW ENGLAND NEWS.

Mr. BLAINE TzNDERED THE APPOINTMENT OF
sESAT0R-uE WILL hccEPr-HIs PHYSICAL
CONDITION.
AUGUSTA, Me-, July 7.-Goyernor Conner
called on Mr.. Blaine to-day in his sick room.
an rendered him the appointment of
United States senator, saying he believed it
to be the very general expectation and wish
of the republicans OF Name that be should
hll the vacancy caused By Mr. Morrill's res
ignation. Mr.. Blaine will accept.
Mr.. Blaine is not quite 50 well to-day a.
for two or three days past.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

A HAwKEYR WoxAN.-Mr. and Mrs.
Gruetzer, OF Centrevile, Ia, were walking
near that city, one day last week, when they
were accosted by Misunderstanding ras-
cal, who presented revolver at Mr.. Circuit
zer, ordered him to ''git." Mr.. Greutzer,
being of an accommodating disposition. got
with the greatest alacrity, and then Mrs
Greutzer, finding herself deserted, went for
the man with the revolver, took his artillery
away from him, bit of the end Of his nose,
stuck her thumb into his eye and crooked,
it and finally twiniug her hands in his hair, i,
warped him around sapling until he sehed
and smarted for twelve feet in every diree-
rection. lie would never have got away IN
the world but the woman, getting little
excited and warmed up to her work, let &c
to spit on her hands and get fresh hold. II
is getting 80 that it isn't safe for tramp t.
tackle an Iowa man when the mans wife y
along pR.-BurlinQfon Hnpksys.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
WASHINGTON NEWS.

CORRECT ACCOUNTING IN THE TREASURY DE-
PARTMEST.
WASHINGTON, d. c.. July Tho count
OF bonds and money In the treasury lust
completed. shows the amount of bonds held
by the treasurer to secure the bank circula-
ton and deposits was found to be precisely
the amount called for by the books. $3.50
s72 800. The amount of money on hand
was found to be S45 .7O2 ,39l -, which was
within less than IS of the amount called
for, the discrepancy arising from trifling
errors in making change.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

A country subscriber, who signs his let
ter, "Chsrles," writes us: Something
within me tells me have genius. Atdawn,
st midday, and an eventide break forth in
poeeic song; my waking hours are musical
with the lute tones OF IN unseen Ofpheus,
and in nv slsep the muses. bend lovingly o'er
nv cot. How shall I develop and perfsct this
suirutiou-shis divine aflatus-this gin Of
the eods?" Cone down 10 Hartford. Chaslss,
sod peddls claus.-H1Dsrd Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

A gentlemen inquired of the young lady
clerk in the bookstore the other day if they
had "Gates Ajar." She said yes they had
one. 1t was the front gate, and since the
warm weather began it had got to sagging
so that they couldn't shut it, and it was ajar
most of the time. She suggestively added,
however, that the side gate still worked
nicely.-Norrich Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
ADDITIONAL PARTICULARS.

BISMARCK, July T. Additional intelli-
gence from the mouth II Big Horn, dated
the lst says: "But for the timely arrival
of relief. Col. Reno's command would have
been cut of to a man. The number saved
with Reno is 32y, including 81 wounded.
The loss among the Indians was r)bably
considerable, as bodies were found in every
direction and they left behind only small
portion of their dead remained nearly
two days on the scene of this disaster to
bury the dead and prepare tor the trans
portation of the wounded to place OF
safety. The neighboring country was still
full of scattering bands oflndians watching
our movements and doubtless prepared to
take advantage of any want OF vigilance to
add to the number of their victims A spe-
cies Of rude horse litters were constructed
of poles and strips of hide, and On these the
disabled were carried % miles to the forts
of the Big Horn, where they were placed on
board the steamer and last night they were
brought down TO the junction with the fel-
low Stone. Tomorrow steamer will con-
vey the poor fellows to Fort Lincoln.
The correspondent says: In closing my
hasty narrative Of this affair. in certain re-
spects the most hideously remarkable In
modern history, l purposely refrain from
comment. The naked facts. so far as they
are known, must guide your readers to the
conclusion as to the cause Of the calamity.
Information derived from many sources, In
cuding. of course, the observations OF the
officers engaged in the battle, led to the
conclusion that 1900 or Q 900 Indians COM
posed the fighting force arranged against
Custer and his 600 men; still. these were
odds which any officer OF the 9TH cavalry
would have unhesitatingly accepted for his
regiment under any ordinary circumstances
of Indian warfare. The force under Gen.
Terry's immediate command was designed
| not only to 1ut off the retreat OF the In
dians but to afford support to Gus
| ter as needed. Its march Was made In
accurate accordance with the plan com
municated TO each Ut the subordinate lead
| ers before the movement commenced.
Ii reached the point where the battle was
expected at the time proposed and had not
the action been precIpitsted, for reasons
which are as yet unknown. force would
have been present on the field sufficient to
relieve any repulse Of the attacking column.
Gen. Gibbon's cavalry followed the Indians
for about ten miles and sscertsined that
they had moved to the northwest BY
several trails. A good deal OF prop
erty had been thrown away oS
them to tighten their march and wa
found scattered for many miles over tne
prairie. Many OF their dead were also dis
covered secreted in rsvines long distance
from the battleields. Among thom were
Arrapahoes and Cheyenpes. .as well - Sioux
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

.4yar 1s.,e 20 lalher, who is opposed to carl
'ee s53 ,-'efei ,-S hls kitchen few evenings
s,l. Ilsnt ny has son dealing from naek
Il tie .,ars 's 4uiekly seized the deck, threw
.sei .S .s''e and left the room. Asthe door
.ogs, rrr-I ,la INN that son seized a rair Of
IA On .s' ne a tie cards from the stove. laid
|s,bor,;;1-e ;1e hoor, and the way he stood I,u ou
|gCss.bn;ssd deck" was enough to have maSa a.,
Esa trssan, naca hand over the belt-if be had
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

A man never really understands the doc
trine of total depravity till he HIS worn q
a pair of white pantaloons to picnic and
sat down ON plate Of custard pie. An
event Of this kind will simplify whole
system of theology Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

4, l.-.' '-, J, 'le-lling to the sta.emnnt of
.,.s,,.s 'Ie' recently caught snake
b. hsth- 1t was eoiled around a
r -l-tTaciing milk from its udder.
! p -'n'y APPROACHED and caught
l-z.. monster BY the neck. He then
E. Ca. 'h4AeNmp and hung its man
,-.t. IN n d ience' tail upward, when
p. ID. o. pure milk flowed out upon
{ 1ni scented cloyer.-RoBertson
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

This is the season of the year when man
delights t. lie beneath wide-spreading shade
trees, communing with nature and getting
bugs in his ears.-Ne,o Orleans Republican.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

There has been quite thinning out oil
street 'oeggars of late here.aA NO. q sIe
wealth est have gone north % . v,sis g sne
Center ,nial, leaving agents here = eoasec'
their house rents.-Nao Orleans hptaese'
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
Centennial Wynn.
tfnItnhI"1
Urn WENDELL HoLNEs.
..-,ars o. lily and rose,

l.
.,. h.nBers o. lily and rose
Ca. II % i1e '... -; ~ our century sets
{ .1e 81 it.,s cannon that scoSlea On oui '0eS
5-iia he ~ .ri.i rs the Nation iorsets
-at le- s-t. sit.d and their welcome iorse~
.a, le- y - ber. hut where are hef ioes
-s o.. ~ .'sIaT .an o. her century set set,, to,o
81 ~ bs- .arlands Of LILY and rose
IL.
,..et Ike the war trumpet
-ls scb1es that slumher around
Z. ,s.. RE -,-Te-s -rdm Liherty's bell
,- -f r,.7s Of her temple resonnd
1. ls tls rwsIls u her temple resound.
-. tls .-2y Sss 'sr hillside and dell
w. sper the echoes ar9uhI'
--4uh.es On Liberty bell.
III.
., ~ NJ ueuts. Isles oi the sea-
.-,-Isads % peace We entW Dc
-i .ta re- 20 the land of the .ree'
81 ar tie palm and the pine
D. o. .a-nur, The palm and the pine
E- -.--..e u tie land OF the iree'
-.H their branches entwue'
.faot.ueuts, Isle o.. the sea.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

India.
A FEARYUL sHIPwREck-fwo nuHpaxp AND
TnIRrY LIVE LOST.
TaR HAouR, july 6.-Ths 0ovsrnor OF
nutch East India telegraph CONFIRMING sns
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14
WESTERN NEWS,
TERRIFIC sToRx-DRsrRuC ZION OF PROPERTY
LOSS OF LIrR

LOSS OF LIE.
DAVENPORT, Iowa. July Ga terrific
storm prevailed over the northern portion
of this State last night. The village of
Rockdale was washed out last night and
~ persons were drowned. Ii will tai
two weeks to repair the Illinois Central
Railroad. At Port Madison the damage is
estimated at 5000, 200. Almost every
dwelling sustained damage, and 40 houses
were unroofed. At Burlington 90 build
ings were riddled to pieces. Mr.. and Mrs.
Stockwell were killed. The storm was but
OF fifteen minutes duration.
MOURNING AMONG THE INpIASs.
OMAHA. Neb.. July 7.-Information from
the Red Cloud agency OF the date of the 4th
says that great mourning and uneasiness is
exhibited by the Indians at the agencies.
This would seem to confirm the reports of
the severe loss by the Indians in the recent
engagement.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

The first thing a Black Hills father does
in the MOI ming after prayer Is 70 nail his
boys hair on, and start him for Custer
Gulch sci rool on the run. fA ~, ri.sn
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

Beginnlng with references TO the gnty os tho
day and to the manner in which 1t has been OBJ
served hitherto, hr. Evarts noted as significant
feature Of American independence, that 1t was
civil act, carefully wrought out in advance OF war
rather than a result OF arms. Hence the
principle was from the FIRST engraited upon our in
stitutons that the military is subordinate to the
civil authority. From the brst, also, union was
sought as well Independence, though II was
longer in being realized. The dehcacy oil the work
undertaken and the momentous responsibility
resting upon the authors OF the Declaration ale
shown in the parts OF the English system which
they had 10 avoid as well as those they were to
choose and in the failure Of some OF the great
English and French efforts TO accomplish reformed
institutions. This led To survey OF the Character
istics Of the American people, the motives with
which they settled the country. their nigh reig-
ous training and the agencies political and social,
which they were compelled TO adopt
Mr.. Evarts gave an eloquent exposition OF the
leading lines of development shown during the past
century. In the expansion OF territorial extent he
laid particular stress upon the race between slavery
and freedom for the conquest of western soil, until
the acqG stlon of California suddenly put an end u
the parailelism which had previously been going
on and ultimately brought about the collision,
suting in the extinction of slavery, the only dan
gerous element in our system. No more ausricioui
event occurred within the nation, as it proved
that the heart of the people was still sound, tha
public interests still preponderate over private and
that the moral feeling Is still supreme among al
no step backward, NOR have We needed 70 seei
other paths in our progress than those IN which ou
feet were planted at the beginning" Unity, lo
erty. power. prosperity, these are QUE possession
to-day. Whatever may seem to impair their worth
or threaten their security, are but the incident
OF the hour and must yield 10 the irresistible pro
yress which has marked from the beginning
our only immediate concern is that we, VINO stan,
at this dividing line OF the centuries. and who's
| record will be scrutinized hundred years hence
| shall be found worthy OF the place We hold.
After Mr.. Eyarts had concluded, the Hal
Ielujah chorus from Handel" Messiah" wa
performed by the orchestra and chorus. an
the ceremonies were concluded with tn
singing OF the doxelogy. in which the entlr
sssemblage Joined.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

report of the loss of the steamer Lieutensn
Genersl Kroesen. in the Straits of Sunday
Two hundred and thirty persons were
drowned.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

the celebration also began the night before,
with the most extensive illumination ever
known on the continent. exceeding both the
Atlantic Gable celebration illumination and
that in honor OF the surrender Of Lee.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1876-07-14

A grand triumphal march, with the
chorus, ''Our National Banner" by Dexter
Smith, of Boston, was next given by the Or
chestra and chorus, after which the orator
of the day, William NJ. Evarts. was intro
duced and greeted with loud and long
cheers
, 1876-09-16

The mlowing items are from the n
tcN%oatr;
Tue FASNY LANG.--This steamer wa
haulld up on AHmmond's ways ycstrr.
,lay, ana w,H be thoroughly repaired
uud r.,u,lJ. There will be ten ieet cat
ntf rom her bow aud twenty-five put on
IN tt7 .dcr, has lcngthening tue boat
tiftt,u FEET. This will greatly improve
the .urr,rancc, as well as render her far
nor. .,ryircplc, and admit of her at
tmn.u. rcatcr speed The new boiler
and rmukr->mck now being made by
Kin! - Foster are nearly completed
Th, deck viii he extended out about
t,r.u .,pt, and the saloon cabin will be
rNta .,d back the whole length Of the
dec, l.G A,tcd up in good style. The
whut. Uo.t win be finished of in the
s,y,. # .a. Jas. There will also be Il
ncv ..uu.vheri put on. Mr.. Hammond
in!o,u, u, chat the whole job will be
finished and the boat launched in about
thrr weeks.
NYslgm1rs DIsArpEARANCE.--Mr W.
Harrison, Who hns resided Oh Cedar river
for .u1 years past, lett his home ut that
placed TO como to Seattle on Tuesday
last loot, with.the intention of return