The Arizona sentinel., 1876-01-15
MISCELLANY.

POlltlcal success IS HOG WlCuOuG its penalties. A Pennsylvania Senator elect had to kiss 1889 ba- bies during the recent canvass.
 The medical advisers of a deli cate Massachusetts murderer cer- tify that in the present state of his health it would seriously jeo- pardize his life to be hanged.
 A Milwaukee paper says of the air in its relations to man: "It kisses and bleSses him, but will not obey him." Blobbs says that description suits his wife exactly.
 A Duluth girl married a young man because be lifted his hat so gracefully as he passed her. She got a divorce because he lifted the table so beautifully when the dinner did not suit him.
 He blew his little lamp out at the top,
 And his life came 10 a sudden stop, If he hadn't been so cOnfOundeG green, He'd never have fooled with kerosene
 An Englishman, it has been said, is never happy but when he is miserable; Scotch man never at home but when he is abroad, !, an Irishman never at peace but when he is at war.
 Madame Putpinsinyourmouth, the Well-knOWn mOdiste, tells us that at balls and parties next Win ter Our fashionable ladies will be attired very much like those girls who rode in the chariot races at the hippodrome last season.-N. y. 1LoA.
 It is said that the first thing a Fiji Islander does after getting married is 10 eat his mother-in- law We could send him one that wouldn't stay on his stomach a minute. .-Fr01kIin Patriot.
 A Dutchman being advised to rub his limbs well with brandy for the rheumatism, said he had heard of the remedy; but added, II dOsh better as dat-I drinks de brandy, den l rubs mein legs init der pOttle."
 My brudders," said a waggish cOiOred man to crowd, "in all affiictiOn, in all ob your troubles, dar is one place you can always find >n1p0thy." "Whar whar ?' shouted several. 'In de diction- ary," he replied, rolling his eyes skyward.
 "There may be such thing as love at first sight," remarked Detroit girl as she twisted a "friz" around the curling iron, "but don't believe in it. There's Fred, I saw him hundred times before I loved him. In fact, I shouldn't have fallen in love when I did, if his father hadn't given him that house and lot"
 A Dutchman, in describing a pair of horses he had lost, said: Dey vas fer much alike, especial ly the off one. Won lOokt so much like pOth, I could not tell tother from which; when 1 went after one I always catched de order, and 1 whipped de one most dead because de order kicked at me.
 A farmer in New Jersey has re- moved his son from the public school because the teacher insist ed that the boy should spell pota- toes with a D, the farmer declar- ing that "taters '" was the word he learned to spell, and that what was good for him was good for his son, and that the teacher was a "stuckup body who wanted a huS- band morn she did a scule.n
 A boy lowed the goat into his mothers house and hitched him to her rocking chairto "play hoss The old lady heated the poker and touched the goat. 1t cost S65 10 repair the broken furniture, and the boys doctor bill will be as much more. The goat took the remnants of the rocking chair out through the window sash with him, and the old lady moves about by the use of a crutch.
 DIDN'T SAY.-A Ninth Avenue boy stopped catching flies all at once yesterday, and turned to his mother and inquired: "Ma, ain't Mrs Parsons nice woman, thOugh?" "I guess so-why?" she answered. "Because, when l was over there this morning she put her hand on my head, like is, and she almost cried as she said. Poor, dear boy! how could your father ever think of marry ing that sharp -nosed, vinegarfeld old maid for a second Wifer" She took Henry into the shed, and while she held fast to his ear she informed him that it would be nothing short of death if he