The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-08-24
WHOLE NO. 1923.
Miscellaneous.

cell their honey.
What intorjcction e Of tho feminine
gender f--Alasa.
II falsehood paralyzod the tongue, what
a death.liko silence would pervado 90
eietyi
The. early riscrs nowadays are the thor.
mometcr and the houaoay.
Early 10 bed and early 10 rise,
Makes a man boast in a way We dcspiae.
When a physician deserts his profcs-
sion for the pulpit the inference u that
he can preach better than he can practice.
The Norwich Bulletin SAYS that Mr..
Talmages sermons read In a loud voice.
in potato field. will drive away the bugs.
Soliloquy OF a upplcr-Tbo world al.
ways notices you when you have been
drinking. and never when you are thirsty.
The useless waste Of money on we'd.
dings and funerals calls Tor reform EN-
Fayaganee makes young men dread mar.
riage and death.
Painting the Lily y-Goneroua shoeblaek
/ Ito colorcd gcntlcman). Better hive em
done, sir; III touch up yer face. too. for
the same, sir"
You cannot convince a dog with a
string Of Ere crackers attached 10 hia mar.
rative that the American republic is
complete success.
A boys Newspaper In indianapolis is
ten cents a year. and "any one aendiug
three names and thirty cents will receive
a set Of jaekstones."
Henry Watlcrson POLITICALLY SAYS ice 4
water gone TO sleep II has every op.
portunity for going 20 sleep while Henry
Wattcrson is around.
A young lady. following a shakeapear.
ian play with the book. remarked 70 her
companion How imperfect these actors
arel None Of them say exit when they
go Of"
person who was sent 20 prison Tor
marrying two wives. excused himself
by saying that when be had one aho
fought him, but when he got two they
fought each other.
Have you much fsh in your bag7'
asked person Of a fisherman. yes,
there's good eel In H. was the rather
slippery reply.
Even during the heated term two Of
our Western contemporaries got into a
grammatical dispute. ita singular how
men could bo In such a mood when tho
heat is intense.
In Bath Abbey. England. l. 10 be seen
the following:
Here lies Ann Mann.
NEswI - a
man.
II wasn't loaded Onandara county
preacher who recently said "Brczzrrn.
szeazicr for n cammil-hic-tso srouFh 40
knee Of an idol. Ean ior-hic-a rich man
to live--hic-pcazably with his muzzer.
in.law."
An Illinois judge has decided that a
washing bill cannot be collected. and any
experienced waaher-woman will tell him
that he IL right ak times out Of ten.
which is probably better than the aver.
age OF his decisions.
Some ono says that no matter how warm
u may be during the day. az night Il u
too cool 10 sleep In the open air without
covers Aud yet We notice that those
who live out complain Of the heat a.
sAsANA hAseaN So H'aAa -
This Is the way a citizen Of Denver ad.
vertisea for a Lost calf "Rund away
Red and vito caf Ills ia bo hint leg vas
plack. he vas a she eaf Eonipotti vat
prings him pack pairs 3 iollarh. Jacob
zuddcring. Clear Creek, three miles pc
hind the pridgc.
A brave young man in a neiFhboring
town got patriotically intoxicated the
other night. and while in that condition
resolved TO aycngc Clusters dcath-and
next morning not one sound wooden In.
dian could be found in the place.
A shoomalxcrs son has secured the
naval cadotship In Fernando Woods die.
trict. and IL is hoped IL Is not the last Of
him. but he viii toe tho marx. welt tho
enemy IL he ever gets q chance, and get
his share Of the booty.
In suburban school a teacher gave
out the word "paaltcr' 10 a class In spell.
ing IL was poser until ID reached
the foot Of the class. when a curly headed
little fellow spelled u correctly. and on
being asked 10 define u, shouted out,
More saltF
Queen Victoria recently sent e. 10
little boy who had been run over In the
streets. and a writer says that since this
incident was made public. the London
cab-drivcrs have found u impossible 10
get through the city for the crowd Of
small boys waiting 10 be run over.
NJ. Bulgcr bought his hrst thcrmomo.
ter last week. and having read that when
the thermometer was under % the
weather was very pleasant for comfort, no
n
his weather INDICATOR under a. But it
didn't do biz Of good, he says
A gentleman having an appointment
with another who was habitually unpunc.
tual. 10 his great surprise found him wait
ing. lie thus addressed him why.
sec you are here irst at last You were
always behind before. but ! am glad 10
see you have become early Of late.
A young man having preached Tor bis
bishop. was anxious 10 get a word Of ap.
plauso for his labor Of love. The bishop.
however. did not introduro tho subject.
aud hia younger brother was obliged 20
bait the hook for him. II hope. air, did
not weary your people by the length Of
my sermon to.dayT' "No. sir, not at all,
nor BY the depth, either"
A book agent who started out 10 can.
vnss for The Tribulaiiona Of tho Mar
tyrs. was kicked out Of Eve Offices the
hrst day, and nearly ncaldcd 90 death BY
an rate woman whom he interrupted Ia
her culinary duties. Now he swcarh that
the tribulations OF the martyrs amount 10
just nothing compared 10 his own, and
be wants his name added 10 tho list when
q new edition Of the work ia printed
There have been plenty Of Indian
braves at the Exhibition. but tho hrst