The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1876-01-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

THE whole essence of true gentle
breeding lies in the wish, and art, to be
agreeable. Good breeding is surface
Christianity.
Have you any nice fresh farmers
eggs?' inquired precise old lady at a
Main Street grocery-stOre yesterday.
No, ma'am," replied the practical
clerk, but we have some very good
hens eggs" She took three to try
Springfield Mass Union.
\ DANBURY man, wishing to engage
several bushels of potatoes from party
in the suburbs, asked neighbor what
sort of man he was: "Well. - said the
conscientious neighbOr, 81 don't know
very much about him, but should think
he would make tip-top stranger. y
Danbury NebCS.
A CORRESPONDENT in California tells
this: The meanest and one of the most
stingy men of this town, named Mr.. H.,
was taken suddenly i'll and not expected
TO recover. He asked to have his will
made out, which was accordingly done.
After reading it over to him carefully
he arose almost instantly from his bed,
drew on his pantaloons leiSurely, and
was heard to exclaim: "Egad, this is
too much to leave any man." He can
be seen walking the streets now as well
rs ever.-Detroi Free Press.
As he entered the cabin he found the
old woman and her new husband en-
gagged in the double-working, back-act-
ing, reciprocative performance of pull
ing each others hair. They reversed
engines for I moment as he entered.
Stranger" said he, "she was my
wife, but I've heard tell as you've mar
ried her. | shall never introOd on your
domestic bliss agen; but | warns you
right here, bein' man as don't like to
see his neighbOr took in, that this is a
game whar you don't stand no show.
Stranger, she can draw to q bob-tail an
make full hand airy time" Then he
bowed, lifting his hat from 4 bald head,
and Cincinnati Times.
BABY's SOLILOQUY.-I am here. And
if this is what they call the world. |
don't think much of it. It's very fan
nelly world, and smells of paregoric
awfully. It's dreadful light world,
too, and makes me blink, | tell You.
And don't know what to do with my
hands; | think I'll dig my fists in my
eyes. No, | won't; III scrabble at the
corner of my blanket and chew it up,
and then III holler; whatever happens
I'll holler And the more paregoric
they give me the louder III yell. That
old nurse puts the spoon in the corner
of my mouth in very uneasy way, and
keeps tasting my milk herself all the
while. She split snuff in it last night,
and when | hollered, trOtted me. That
came of being two-dayS' old baby.
There's pin sticking in me now, and
if say word about it III be trOtted or
fed and | would rather have catnip tea.
I'll tell you who | am. found out to-
day. | heard folks say. ''Hush, don't
wake up Emeline's baby and | sup
pose that pretty white faced woman over
on the pillow is Emeline. No, | was
mistaken: for chap was in here just
now, and wanted to see Bob's baby;
and looked at me and said, 81 was 4
funny little toad, and looked just like
Bob" He smelt of cigars. | wonder
who else | belong to. Yes, there's an
other-that's Gamma" 1t was ''Gam-
mas baby, so it was" | declare | do
not know who belong to; but III hol-
Ter, and maybe I'll find out. There
comes Snuffy with catnip tea. I'm go
inc to sleep. | wonder why my hands
won't 90 where want them to.