, 1876-09-22
A Backwoods Editor.

For the benefit of those who have not
heard it. or forgotten 1t, we Will give
the story of a backwoods editor:
Years ago, when a certain W eStern
State (which we shall not namci was
Territory. and with few inhabitants,
voupr LAWYER from one OF the old
States emigrated thither, and settled IN
the town of k. He succeeded all
mirably in his profession, and rose rap
idly in popular favor. he had been
there nearly two years when he induced
a printer TO print a weekly paper, OF
which he was editor and proprietor.
Squire 5. was much pleased for while
with editing paper. He was man OF
yerv low stature. but he used the edi-
torial I'VE" as frequently as If there
were a dozen of him, and each as big as
Daniel Lambert.
Strange to say, there were men at that
time in office who were not particle
more honest than they should be; thing
which probably never happened before
and never will again. Squire 5. felt all
the patriotism of son of '76, and
poured out grape and canister against
public abuses. This soon stirred a
hornets nest about his ears; but as
there was no other paper in the Terri
tory, there was no reply, and he enjoyed
his warlike propensities in security.
At length he published an article
more severe and cutting, against NAL
feasance in office, than any that had
preceded it. In fact, though pointed
at no individual in particular, it was a
" scorcher."
Some three or four days afterward
he was sitting alone in his editorial
office, which was about quarter of
mile from the printing establishment;
his pen was busy with a paragraph,
when his door opened without much
ceremony, and in stalked man about
six feet in his stockings. He asked,-
"a Are you S., the proprietor of this
paper?"
Thinking he had found a new patron,
the little man, with one of his blandest
smiles, answered in the affirmative. The
stranger deliberately drew the last num-
Der of the paper from his pocket, and
pointing to the article against rogues in
office, told the afrighted editor
that it was intended chin" 1t was in
vain that S. protested he had never
heard of him before. The wrath of the
visitor rose to fever heat, and from be-
ing so long restrained, boiled over with
double fury. He gave the editor his
choice, either to publish a humble, a
pe7y humble recantation, or take a fog
giR0 on the spot. Either alternative was
wormwood; but what could he do? The
enraged ofice-holder was twice his size,
and at one blow would qualify him for
an obituary notice. He agreed to re-
tract; and as the visitor insisted upon
writing the retraction himself, he sat
down to his task. Squire s. made an
excuse to walk to the printing Ofice,
with q promise that he would be back
in season to sign it as soon as it was
finished.
s. had hardly gone fifty rods when he
encountered a man who inquired where
SIS office was, and if he was at home.
Suspecting that he, too, was on the same
errand as the other visitor, he pointed
to the Office, and told him he would
find the editor within, writing q most
abusive article against office-holders.
This was enough. The eyes of the new
conner flashed fire, he rushed into the
Office, and assailed the stranger with the
epithets, liar, scoundrel, coward"
and told him he would teach him how
to write. The gentleman supposing
it was some bully sent there by the edi-
tor, sprang TO his feet and a fight en-
sued. The table was upset and smashed
into freWood, the contents Of large
jug Of ink stood in puddles on the floor,
the chairs had their legs and backs
broken beyond the skill Of surgery to
cure them. This seemed only to inspire
the combatants with still greater fury.
Blow followed blow with the rapidity of
lightning. First one was kicking on the
floor, then the other, each taking it in
turn pretty equally. The ink on the
floor found its way to their faces, till
both Of them cut the most ludicrous
figure imaginable. The noise and up
roar were tremendous. The neighbors
ran to the door, and exclaimed with as
tonishment, that two negros were fight
ing in Squire SIS Office. None dared
separate them. At length, completely
exhausted, they ceased fighting. The
circumstances Of the case became known
and the next day, their heads bound up,
they started homeward, convinced that
they had attained very little satisfaction
from the attempt.