The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-03-22

Cousin john. again peg IeaVe TO
present a short epistle to the lear
ladies OF this country. through the
columns of the GAZETTE: but in an
entirely different attitude to what |
have heretofore taken. / come an
humble, obedient, convinced and
submissive servant bow. / sub
NIT, flicker out. kerfiumix. pass
In my checks aud acknowledge am
beaten. You know, cousin John,
that have spoken many hard things
of the foolish fashions of the ladies,
| have accumulated thereby vast
stores of wealth, consisting Of the
ill-will and hatred of nearly all of
the fair sex. / have, as it were,
waded in false hair. false teeth, rib
bons, jewelry. artificial flowers,
paints, hair-dyes, musks, colognes,
pin-backs, pinch-backs, dilapidated
hats, &c, &c, hoping that might.
at some time, be able to accomplish
the desires Of my heart. a reforma-
tion ia the style Of dressing. But
marry. The battle is lost. / am a
ruined man. The odds were against
me, and lost the fight But like a
true and loyal citizen, | now step
forward to shake hands across the
bloody chasm, and tender my assist
ance to the ladies.
Cousin John, do you know why |
have ever so bitterly opposed those
foolish and vulgar fashions OF TIE
ladies? Well, I'll tell you. You
know it has always been said that
whisky was the greatest evil of our
nation. This was so, too. for nearly
a century, but few years since, l
made the discovery that at the pres
ent rate of foolish, vulgar and sim
fitL dressing, fashions was destined
ky with regard to crime and sinful
ness of all kinds.
l tell you. cousin John. the battle
between these two mastodons for
championship. not Of America alone,
but of the entire world, was won
derful to look upon.
To see the millions of human be-
ings, arrayed against each other in
desperate warfare. armed and equip
ped with all manner ill-gotten gains,
rushing madiy into the very jaws of
death. and on, and on into the very
regions OF eternal punishment, was
an awful sight to wit ness.
The mode OF warfare on each side
has been rather a peculiar one. The
whisky men on the one side have
used every strategy imaginable to
win the prize.
1t is sorry sight to sec a man,
rather thousands of men, rushing to
the whisky saloons. drinking down
the last cent. and bartering their
honesty, integrity and even their
souls for that which only makes
them mad, and forgetful of the God
who made them after His own i'm
age; but be it said of them that in
their drankest moments they have
never vet Knocked their God by try
ing to change the shape in which He
has made them. But this is nothing
TO compare with the millions of in-
toxicated females-drunk on fash
ions-W ho barter the labor of their
husbands, when that is gone his
credit, and if he holds an Office, the
public funds of that office are used
and his securities suffer in order to
keep up with the latest fashions,
and as o last resort, the honesty,
the virtue. the chastity of the no
blest work of God is bartered for
gewgaws with which to disfigure and
% bring into disrepute the beauti-
full shape which God has given his
people, when, with head erect and
tail at an angle of p degrees to the
left side, these silly creatures prom
enade public places where they i'm
agine their beautiful personages are
admired by the opposite sex, but in
truth, when, if any remarks are
made ut all, they are of a vulgar
and disrespectfnl nature.
Yes, cousin John. l acknowledge
/ am beaten-I am wounded-I sur
render. | had thought and was
encouraged by that thought-that
was doing exceedingly well, and
would eventually win the fight, and
should have claimed victory had
the case of Mrs. Belknap, OF Fort
Sill notoriety not been made public,
but when it was made known that
from $4,000 to $4,000 of the peo-
pies money was used annually by
that distinguished lady for no other
purpose than to keep pace. or rather
excel the wives OF all other cabinet
officers, in fashions and styles, / at
once stepped down and out, as it is
far ahead of any whisky fraud yet
perpetrated, so far as heard from,
and l shall hereafter WELD my influ-
ence in behalf of the mighty, who
have conquered the conquerer. and
put to shame the very name Of the
once proud and naughty Americd.
The reputation of this once proud |
nation, staked and lost on a game |
Of fashions A $4,000 party by |
Mrs. Belknap, (the peoples money!. |
TO excel her neighhors in fine dres- |
ses OF latest fashions Who ever
heard of a man getting on SO, 900 |
drunk? | pass.
And now ladies, 60 in If your
husbands are not already bankrupt, |
render them so as soon as possible. |
Our country is bankrupt, and a per-
feet by-word for other nations. made |
so by the wives of official plunder-
ers-made plunderers by their ex-
travagant wives. Let our motto be |
"ruie or ruin" We can't save the
country, and let's go in. BAscUL.
What the tyranny's coming to
(The mistress. having heard three
rings at the street door, goes 10 open
it, Housemaid--"Oh, please MIN.
If that's anybody for me. I'm not at