The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1876-06-14
ALL SORTS.

f. A Pittsburg dispatch says the iron
peddlers have resumed work. Here
in Hinsdale, the mud peddlers have
been at it for some time.
Tie Supreme Court of the Sand
wich Islands have decided that the
possession of opium, or any prepar-
alton thereof. renders a person liza
! BILE TO imprisonment.
II Why call him groom as eight
out of ten people do?- A groom's
! business is to look after horses. a
bridegroom business is to look
after his wifes mother.
A Kentucky paper endevors to
I-pay a delicate compliment to ia.
yorite actress by calling her ''a sweet
little redhaired chandelier kicker"
One of the clowns in a new show
puts this conundrum "Why is the
Centennial like homer Because
it the dearest spot on earth"
A Portland (Me. woman only thir-
ty-one years old has just given birth
to her twelfth baby, and the child
weighs just twelve pounds.
Seventy-six button gloves are
now the fashion; they are fastened
together behind the small of the
back. and it takes two TO put them
on. ssa 5-if Esa .srs saai I'll
| A Michigan man has raised five
lemons on tree which he keeps in
O hot house. 1t took four tons of
coal. and he sold the lemons for
twenty-five cents. M
A chrome with every egg now.-
Ddnbury NeaUs. Is that crow-mo a
rooster ?-WhiehaU Times. Guess so
for a rooster can crow mo- than a
hen.-NOrristoaon Herald.
An Illinois minister announced
on his Sunday night bulletin: 'sThe
funeral of Judas Iscariot." To
which an obliging fellow added,
Friends Of the deceased are cordi-
ally invited"
A fellow who sometimes lies round
the White House says it is a pleas
ing sight for one who loves his coun-
try to see Mrs. Grant busy with the
needle, putting patch on the seat
of Government.
The distinguished Britisher who
concluded that the American N a
tional tune was the spit toon. is re-
vising Shakespeare for young Yam
KEGS. He has got as far as "Tis
true its spitty, and spitty tits. 'tis
true.'' saeia--a.ss aa ta as-'f
The cuirass has had its days for
street wear, but still retains its
place in the parlor. The suits all
have sleeves in materials different
from the waists. eafi~ss
A Cleveland woman recently mar.
ried Chinese laundryman, and in
/ three days thereafter the unhappy
Celestial appeared at a barber shop
and, ordered his pigtail cut off, say
ing in explanation, ''Too muchee
dam yank.pA H e ew &
A-rural editor, wishing to be Sc
we're upon an exchanges. remarked !:
"The publisher! of the, in this
place, tried, a few days ago. to car
ry home some lard in a copy of that
paper, but, on reaching home. found
that the concentrated lie had chang
eu IL 10 soap. r
There are m any trying things in
this world, but mans self-respect
is never so wounded as when he sees
silver ten cent piece lying on a
showcase; makes up his mind to
steal it, gently reaches out ashland
to take it in, and then discovers
that it is glued to the under side of
the glass. '' 4'i- 9 @
Bootmaker (who has a deal OF
trouble with his customer). 81 think.
sir. if you were to cut your corns, I
could more easily find you pair
Choleric old gentleman "Cut my
corns, sir ask you to &c me pair
of boots to my feet. sir L M not GO
ing to plane my feet down TO ft
your boots r.
A large number Of wise and veal
! thy citizens Of Indianapolis have
sent memorial TO the school COM
missioners requesting thalt pro-
posed reduction in teachers salaries
shall not be made. The memorials
contain vigorous and incisive pro-
tests against such action.