The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1876-01-15
Tn the midst of life we are in debt.

per cent. for his money Connecticut
man was killed in n saw mill.
THEY met that is she went to the store
And made him turn his department Ger
Till he vanished behind the goods, and then
She pleasantly said she would call again
No BOY has fulfilled his earthly mis-
sion till he has given some one cay
enne lozenge in church.
A KANSAS paper announces that GER
tain gentleman has been nuptiated-
that is married.
JUGG says he sees nothing new in the
fashions. His wife's dresses were al
ways pull backs" to him.
GETTING money is not all a mans bust
ness; to cultivate kindness Isl valuable
part of the business of life.
The prize for blowing at an agricul-
tural show in Brittany, in France, has
been given to ayoung girl under twenty.
WESTERN papers are hard to please.
Now they're complaining because the
Herald doesn't print map of the horse
disease.
A YOUNG lady in Indiana fell dead,
recently while hanging clothes on line
The young ladies' will doubtless profit
by this warning.
An engineer was married in his loco
motive in Maine last week 1t is hoped
that the couple will always have ten
der attachment for each other.
THE laws of Canada afford man some
protection. A woman in Montreal has
just been put in Jail for husband beat
ing.
"WHAT does Good Friday mean ?"
asked one schOolboy of another. "You
had better go home and read your Rob
inson Crusoe,'" was the whitening reply.
JUST as fellow was passing a pretty
girl on the street yesterday fly lit on
his eyelid, and wink was the conse-
quence.
DIR. w. H. HALL says that consump-
tive who spits blood occasionally will
have less cough and live longer than
one who does not have any hemorrhage.
A WOMAN is very like kettle, if you
come to think of it. She sings away so
pleasantly-then she stops-and when
You least expect it she boils over.
In some parts of the South the
drought is so severe that there isn't wa
ter enough in the rivers to keep the fish
from getting sunburnt on the back.
CALIFoRN1ANs say they can tell an
Eastern min Us soon as he makes pur-
chase. If there's two cents change COM
ing to him he wants it.
'THE first step toward wealth." says
an exchange, sis the choice of a good
wife," And the first step towards secur
ing wife is the possession of good
wealth.
A MAN in Cohoes warned his wife not
to light the fire with kerosene. She was
not an obedient wife. Very fortunately.
her clothes tit his second wife remark
ably well.
A PooR-MAsrER says, "Folks are max
ing a great fuss just cause broke a
paupers ribs. What was 1 hired for.
I'd like to know-to sit around and dc
nothing?"
A MAN may occasionally kiss the
wrong woman by mistake. But wher
he makes practice of it; the right wo.
man finds it Out-4and that's what both
ers him.
"PUTs" AND "cALLs' may be properly
defined thus: You put your money in
the hands of broker for the purpose
of speculation, and call for the profits
in vain.
IT cost a Brooklyn man $4,000 to
lunch off of the nose of q fellow he
quarrelled with. Dearer than hum
ming birds liver that is, and not half so
delicate.
A LAZY mans churn has been invented
in Vermont. 1t is adjusted to wagon,
and all n man has to do is to drive down
for the mail, and when he gets back the
butter has come.
OLD Lady SHARPLY to stranger)-
"Well. miss, what are You staring at :?
What do you see in my face 2" Young
Lady-"Nothing" END of conversa-
tion.)
The New York girls are buying poo
dies. They are so nice, You know: when
one has a new dress, and going out to
walk, one has only to tread on the poo
dies tail to attract all the neighbors to
the front windows.
'PIETy,' remarked an Arkansas
preacher to his congregation, the other
day, docs not consist i'll noise. The
Lord can see you give to the needy
just as easily as he can hear you pray the
roof off.
All, that eager grasp of the hand, that
anxious inquiry about your wife and
the babies; that kindly solicitude con-
corning your financial welfare Yes,
there's no installing it-hes a candi-
date.
An inebriate, on Tuesday evening,
fell and struck his nose against bar
ber's pole. On being raised from the
ground, he asked, "Whatd thunder
Eat (hicI woman wi striped stockin's on