The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-01-28
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NEWSPAPER DECISIONS
ET4NGELICAL CORNER.

4
| A Virginian goes to school to his wife,
and she makes him stay after school VIXEN
he's unruly.
"The best and oldest advertising me-
dium Am old maids sewing circle
Norrsstoasn Herald.
| The Widow Capital, of Rhode Island, is
worth $s, 100000. Why doesn't somebody
draw that Capital prize9
An old maid near Reading, Pa, married
tramp, and perhaps that's the best use
you can put tramp to, after all.
An old lady being told that the days were
lengthening, said she thought the nights
must be getting shorter, as she got so little
sleep.
Kate Field took ride in London cab
and was sick for week. She says she can't
see why an American should object to ride
on fence rail.
A London doctor says that it win certain.
ly give young lady the spinal disease to
wash dishes, and now go ahead on those
worsted dogs.
Fontenelle thus daintily compliments the
sex when he compares women and clocks;
The latter serve to point out the hours,
the former to make us forget them''
Mrs. Slate, of Iowa, can't be marked on
and sponged off like some states. Her hus-
band tried it the other day, and the shot,
gun blazsd streak of death through him.
$50 ont, young man she's not here %
said Pennsylvania preacher last Sunday.
in the midst of his sermon, to youth whom
he saw standing hssitating,y in the door.
way.
After the clergyman had united happy
pair, not long ago, an awful silence ensued,
which was broken by an impatient youth
exclaiming, "Don'tbe SO unspeakably hap.
py."
Mrs. Snyder, of Cairo. hid behind the
door and jumped out to give her husband
glad surprise. The cigar in his mouth
jammed into her eye, and she is now seeking
divorce.
The ladies of Toledo provided nothing
stronger than coffee for New Years callers,
and when night came the old topers gather
cred and Resolued-That New Years is a
blasted fraud.''
Young man, when an old man tells you
that people can never love but once, set him
down as deceiver. If the girl has money
in the bank every time man can love forty
different girls.
San Francisco women are going more and
more into stock speculation and are gener.
ally very successful, as they get "points''
froa the great mining operators that male
outsiders cannot obtain.
AS old Mr.. - heaved the last scuttle of
four tons of coal into his cellar, he was
heard to remark: off they had been boys
instead Of girls, it wouldn't have been thus
The Boston -ITUBscrtpr rs vpp,,svys ~ v.vv-
ting babies on their mothers knees. The
New England infant may be shaken apart,
but the Western baby just likes it. He can
stand it as long as the knee can.
DR.. Mary Walker advises women to dress
in mems clothes and walk out in broad day
and defy the law. And yet when DR.. Mary
sees policeman looking at her her ears get
as white as a new picket-fence.
A Vermont girl wears a VOLTS tail ia
place of an ostrich feather. This isn't be-
cause her father couldn't mortgage his farm
and buy her plume, but because she kill
ed the wolf that once switched that tail at
mosquitoes.
Her mother had said that she shouldn't
set out wine on New Years dsy--it should
be coffee and she remarked with much
indignation, What would you have me
drive Charles to those nasty drinking
saloons ?''--Iochsster Democrat. s.
Donn Piatt, happy man !! has met some
where in his recent travels woman of
whom he says: M u stfa
Her smile is sunlight, and her laugh 6,srEls
. That sunlight set to tune; sst .s.rs
Her lips the honey bee might quaf
And dream Of buds in June.
"Dear me, how red your face is, Eliza"
innocently remarked a female neighbor,
who had dropped in just in time to inter
rupt bitter alteration between man and
wife. "Yes," meekly added the husband,
"she's been showing her colors. ."--Brook-
Ign Argus.
A woman took seat in smoking car OF
q Housatonic train, Thursday morning, a
Bridgeport, and on being informed that it
was the smoking car, replied that she knew
it, and without wasting any more time
pulled from her pocket clay pipe, and
puffsd away as if she had been there be-
fore.