Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1876-02-11

With countless frozen sink spoutS
And busted pipes to mend?
HUMO
THE WAY THEY Do IN CONGRESS s.
Saturday, when ''Big English" saw that
it was going to be lonesome day for the
bootblacks' he sat his head to work to de-
wise something to break the monotony.
Abo ut 10 o'clock he got number of
boys into the alley behind the postoffice
and organized the sForty-ffth Congress. .
''Big English'' is regular reader of the
daily papers, and he is great organizer.
1t took him but fifteen minutes to get the
House, and Senate" running SO smooth
ly that lawyers and others looked down
from their windows with great interest.
ssWho's liar ?'' yelled a whiteheaded
boy as he jumped up.
sob, dry up ?'' shouted Sixth Ward
Tom.''
''Put him out--he was in the rebel army"
called boy from Grand River avenue.
''Some one dubbed my dog twelve years
ago, and meyer forgive him. said Straw
berry Bob.
''Git out the records and less see who
was loyul,' put in Kings boy.
Big English raped on his box to restore
ler. but King Tommy threw up his hat
yelled:
/ moves for the ICES and the nozes. >
- ''He can't gag me-" shouted lathy boy
from Windsor.
''Less have salary grab," piped a Con-
gfess street boy.
THE peepul won't stand it, yelled an
other.
"Hain't we peepul ?" demandeda boy on
the railing.
'sAre we one country ?" asked the Speak
er, as he rose up.
81 are, but you haint % yelped ''Nickety
Nick"
doesn't one flag float for us all 2" con-
tinued the Speaker.
''It does about tax time 2" screamed a
cross-eyed youth from Springwells.
Somebody kicked the honorable Speaker.
He then struck the honorable gentleman
from Wisconsin. The honorable gentle
man from Wisconsin smashed the honora-
BILE gentleman from Georgia, and hair
stood up and coat-tails stood out. When
the row had quoted down the honorable
Speaker remarked:
'sIt was pretty good for the fust time,
you though didn't abuse each other
quite enough"
LEAP YEAR DIALoGUE.-The recent
s'leap year German, '7at the Virginia Opera
House, is bearing fruit. It was at fash
ionable residence on Grace street. Time,
last night after coming from church.
They stood together in the entry beneath
the halllamp.
s'Then, Henry she said, in a low voice,
wherein were blended determination, mel
ancholy, AND love 'syou refuse my suit %
eyes, Ella" he replied, in accents that
were firm, though the speakers voice trem-
bled. Il admire you; will be brother
to you, and watch with pride your course
through life, and if ever trouble should be-
fall you there will at least be one friend to
whom you can can come for succor; but 1
can never, never, be your husband 1t
is useless to attempt to induce me to
change my determination. Though I am
but poor weak man, [ can never, never
change my mind.'
''Then cruel young man, so fair and yet
so false, farewell. Tomorrow you will SEE
my mangled remains On the basin bank OF
in the dock, and know that it has been
your work, but it will be too late,'' and
clasping him to her bosom in wild en-
brace, she fled into the outer darkness
Richmond Ne,Us
A case of chronic laziness is reported at
Washington. A young man appointed to
a clerkship in the Treasury Department
was conducted to his desk and informed
what his duties were. The chief of the De-
partment discovered him short time al
ter comfortably reposing in his seat, with
his feet characteristically resting on the
desk. Hello" said the chief; '.don't you
expect to do any work ?'' "Work be
hanged!'' exclaimed the astonished youth;
~ had to work hard enough to get here y
''Ard haye you no other sons ?" asked a
curious lady Of a bronzed old sea captain.
''Oh, yes, madam, I had one that lived in
the South Sea Islands for nearly a dozen
years." Greatly Was he bred there, and
what was his taste-the sea or land %
'No, madam, he wasn't bread-he was
meat; leastwise the niggers ate him, and
as for his taste the chief said he tasted of
terbaccer." The lady walked to another
part of the ship, and the captain smiled
and took a fresh Quid.
The boys of Winnemucca, Nevada, had
some fun with Snowman. They formed
a line from the ticket office around a near
corner Each asked the price CT admission
and, when being told that it was fifty cents,
shook his head, said 1T was too dear. re-
tired, and fell in at the rear of the line
This was kept up until the Snowman, as
founded by the unanimity and the SEEM
ingly great number, reduced the charge,
and then every boy cleared out
The time when a man fully realizes that
woman's sphere should be enlarged is when
he finds that his washer-woman has mis-
taken his stockings for his shirt-bosom,
and starched them accordingly.
Man-"Do you think it would be safe
for me to cross this pasture?" Maid
swell, the old bull don't like red very
much, but if you chalk your nose guess
he won't attack YOU"
'Y gu amt afraid to die 20 said the cler-
gyman, tenderly. 'No,' replied the suf-
ferer, Pm only afraid if do that the old
woman will 20 shooting among nv private