Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-08-18
G1eanings.
The widows might: her tongue.

| The widows might: her tongue.
A beneficial strike striking job.
! A very narrow aperture-the crack of
a whip.
Next to diary the most difficult thing
to keep is a lead pencil.
We take great liberties with those from
whom we expect nothing.
Advice to fshmongers in warm weather
Deal gently with. the herring"
There is a wide distinction between
man of fortune and a fortunate man.
Young man, your bride must be won
before marriage; but you must both be
one afterward.
Parlor stoves are good kind of health
lift in the spring, but somehow people
don't take to them much
A Boston Sunday-school informs the
public by circular that it will soon cele-
brate its annual anniversary"
A shirt dealer adyertiscs a bosom to
wear longer than a shirt But who wants
bosom longer than his shirts
Many man who has not a cent in his
pocket owns corn which he would not
allow you to step on for the world.
Don't moralize to a man who is on his
back Help him up, see him on his feet,
and then give him advice and means
The Philadelphia pickpockets say that
they never knew people to hold to their
wallets the way they do this centennial
year.
| The word "Effendi" is not name but a
title of honor, like our Honorable" recei-
wing its value from the person to whom it
is applied.
The exhibition is closed on Sundays on
religious grounds. Twenty thousand peo.
pie hang around the fences all day on Sc
cular grounds.
There may be gold, but there's no ques-
tion about the quantity of lead in the Black
Hills. Every Indian has gun full Of it,
and isn't stingy.
On learning the number of revolutions
of the great Corliss engine per minute, Dom
Pedro said: THAT beats our South Amer
lean republics"
1t may interest you to know that the
velocity of a cannon ball for the first half
mile is thirteen hundred feet per second.
No use lodging.
Weoman has many advantages over man;
on of them is that his will has no opera.
ton till he is dead, whereas hers generally
takes effect in her lifetime.
late wife (whose husband has returned
home late)-"Now, I'll just give you
piece of my mind" Husband--"Don't,
my dear; you can't spare it."
These alphabet puns and quirks are
very numerous, and few of the old ones
are very good. Here Is one: "Majesty
stripped of its externals is a-jest"
A Pennsylvania physician told sick
lady that she conldn't live month. She
died that night from excitement, and her
husband sues for $40, 900 damages.
A wag, in "what he knows about farm
ing" gives very good plan to remove
widows weeds. He says good-looking
man has only to say "Wilt thou" and
they wilt.
A Lancaster hen has won notority by
laying an egg which closely resembles
pear in its shape. But this is not as re-
markable rs if the fowl had laid pear
closely resembling an egg in shape.
The doctor says you mustn't kiss the
baby, because you will give it the dipthe-
ria. you might kiss the baby's sister,
however, from now till the first frost, and
never hear line about the diptheria.
"And what has become of Saul, JIM
N.Y." asked Sunday. school teacher
KILLED himself" was the reply. "How
did he kill himselfs" continued the teach
er "Blowed his brains out with re-
volver," replied Jimmy.
II We had enough sympathy to 60 a..
round we would extend 1t to Mrs Elk Sui.
tan of Turkey. There are about 800 of
her, and since the overthrow and suicide
of her husband, the prospect of 800 new
summer bonnets is very gloomy indeed.
New York is enjoying battle of the
directory makers, the old established com.
piler having encountered rival for the
first time in years. The rival bases his
claim to popular support upon the asser-
tion that he furnishes 49, 900 more names
J than his opponent for the same money. !