The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1876-03-23
MISCELLANEOUS.
L. Pot Is q Maine editor.


New Bedford has but one whaler left
"a schoolmaster.
Mr.. Darwin will doubtless be panied
to learn that the Sheriff of Kershaw, S.
c., has levied on monkey to satisfy q
debt.
Prof. of Rhetoric s'What important
change came over Burns in the latter
part of his lfe?" Senior HE died"
The Binghamton trapper who has
caught three hundred mushrats this
Winter, expresses musk ratification at
his success.
''Ihere! that explains where my
clothesline went to % exclaimed an Iowa
woman as she found her husband hang
ing in the stable.
All the axes and bucksaws found in
the ruins of Pompeii are OF light make,
as if constructed for woman's use.
Those old ancients knew their little bus
mess.
A watering place correspondent writes
that Every few bathers battle at the
West End" whereupon Mrs. Darlington
says she chad an idea they ba ther all
over"
An Ohio farmer who hasn't a brass
rooster swinging on the top of a barn as
weather vane can't expect his daughter
to move in good society.
''Idiot !'' exclaimed lady coming out
of the theatre one evening, as gentle
man accidently stepped on her trailing
skirt. (Which one of rs ?''blandly re-
piled the man.
my lecture said California orator
'Fwill be brief A turnip hit him at that
instant, and lie announced '.The
meeting stands adjourned =
dearest, viii you accept my hand %
said he. II prefer to play my own,
and draw to good pair" said she.
Schenck did it, with his little pamphlet.
With pair OF top boots and an us
ter overcoas, a woman needs no other
clothing. A little care ie at first required
to keep the coat buttoned up.
Congressional Proceedings "Mr.
Morton addressed the Senate at length
III favor of seating Mr.. Finchback on
his credentials" Seating him on his
what.
First Boy-s'I say, Jimmy, there's no
water. It's frozen everywhere" Sec
ond Boy-''Bullyl Maybe we wont
have to wash ourselves till the middle of
Spring."
i Mr.. Chew was recently arrested in
Philadelphia, having three living wives
from which he has never been united
Each wife had a Chew to- back her
See?
Some of the colored folks of Cleveland
thought civil rights meant free rides on
the street cars, and they had to be
stood on their heads and argued with.
Miss D. sends rs a poem entitled, 81
Cannot Make Him SMILE" We cannot
publish it unless she gives us the name
of the young man. All the young men
we know ''smile.''
A correspondent of the Baltimore Sun
has found III Florida young girl named
Neuralgia. She was christened after
bottle Of patent medicine which her
| mother esteemed.
''Ihree and sixpence per gall" ex-
claimed Mrs Darlington, looking over
the Price Current. "Why, bless me,
what is this world a coming to when
| gals are valued at only three ard six
pence p
| Patient, to doctors after consultation:
-''Tell me the worst, gentlemen am
[ going to die?" doctors-'sWe are di-
vided on that question, sir bat there
| is majority of one that you will live. :"
Young lady-Are you good runner
MIR. Duliboy9 Mr.. Dullboy- Well, not
very frstrate I was once in mile
race, and they gave me three-quarters of
the distance start, but I-aw-I did not
win.
A seedy-looking individual was heard
to say to friend: My dear fellow,
can't you lend me a black weskit for a
short timex My aunt Betsy died few
days ago, and l want to take a short
mourn
More happy by far is the man with
catarrh
Than the one who is perfectly well;
He is one Of those who are saved by
the nose
From many a horrid smell.
Julius, why didn't you oblong your
stay at the Springs z" ''kase, Mr.. Snow
dey charge to MUCH ''How so, Jul
ius !" 'tWy, de landlord charged dis
colored individual wild stealing de
spoons"
The electric talegrai h.-" Wife, don't
see. for my part, how they sent letters
on them, ere wires without tearin' 'em
al to bits. y LA ME, they don't send
| the paper they lust send the yyritino