The New Orleans Democrat. (New Orleans, La.) 1875-1876, 1876-02-19
Spice.

A lady I'm ElleardsviIe has n new hat
and two children loved about equally,
of course. Recently she left the children
ut home and took the hat 10 funeral
Something seemed to be the matter
with thatlfuneral. IL "boo hood Just
as respectable funerals always do, but 1t
did what no well-regulated funeral ever
did before, II looked at her, and alter
mated its "boo hoos" with giggles.
were made. and at every place the unac
countable giggling was renewed. Re-
turned mt last she discovcred-O hor
rors a long, dirty, draggled-out ROSTERS
tail-feather I'm her hat. Those chill
dren-well, two cher,lbs in Elleardsvillo
now eat their meals standing. and from
very necessity the same darlings sleep
only on their little stomachs, For this
are we mothers. st. Louis Republican.
I went into n book store yesterday
with gentleman who asked Got any
valentines bout legislators ?" No"
"Why don't you keep 'em ?" "rher
man said he couldn't make none hard
enough. Petersburg Hnder.
Mr.. Greengooseberry Fort, Radical
Congressman from Illinois. whose forte
IL Is TO make fool of himself. has pre-
pared u bill prescribing q fine of 300
Tor each female buffalo killed by non
Indian buffalo slayer upon the CONT
nent OF North America. We suggest
a proviso that Mr.. Fort shall be mt once
sent to the Sioux country as n commits
sioner to determine the sex OF slain
bufralocs and the nativity OF the
slayers. st. Louis Times.
One OF the novelties OF a new hotel in
jacksonville, Fla, is "a crystal chande-
lier In the bridal chamber. BY touching
"a button II Is lighted: at the same mo
ment out springs little Cupid, who
strikes with n hammer chime of bells,
which peal out in the sweetest melody
'Rest IN this bosom" "Lct me kiss him
for his mother" etc Boston Globe.
IL always seems absurd TO us to hear
the hero or heavy villain in u melo-
drama exclaim. rs he secretes himself
In "a room i'm the castle or elsewhere,
"And -now-if L Undiscovered Tn
lost-I'm lostl" when the stupidist boy
in the top gallery knows that II he's dis
covered he's found-he's found 7iw-
ner's Falls Reporter.
A Florida paper denounces "a red
head adventurer, who disgraces a white
skin, by the name Of Charles Newman.
A man with skin of that name must
certainly be u very dangerous person,
and until the Legislature can take hold
of the matter he and his cuticle
should be strictly looked after Con-
rter-JOlunal
The trouble with the Confederatcs is
that they lack both brains and leaders
Men like Thurman, Holman, Randall,
Payne and Bayard are mere time-serv-
ing political pigmies, trembling in their
boots at the outlook of situation which
they are incapable of compromising,
and lack the force Of character and vigor
OF intellect to grapple with. They are
not leaders. and are not capable of lead
ing They are oflice-seeking trimmers,
who. instead Of seeking to win by con
quest, seek to sneak in without giving
battle Morrison Is. without doubt, the
Most sagacious man on the Confederate
side of the House, and he perceives
more clearly than any other that, I'M
less there be an immediate change TO
positive and aggressive policy on the
leading political question, the leaky
craft in which he has embarked must
inevitably go to the bottom. Chicago
Times.