The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-12-27
FLASHES OF FUN.

around and prevents the driver beng
weighed.
The Kaw Indians have abandoned
their time -bonored custom Of sacrificing
a horse at the grave Of a departed brave.
Horses are too valuable these hara
times to be turned into mere kaWN
kawees.
A member of Congress In q debats
shouted "Amicus Plato, Amcus SOcra-
tes, sed major veritas." The reporter
next morning made his speech read, Al
may cuss Plato, 1 may cuss Socrates
said Major Veritas."
The laws OF Nebraska compel all seB-
sions OF the Legislature to be held in TIM
winter. This Is done because 1t is tho
only way to prevent the members from
attending the sessions in their shirk
sleeves and bare teet. y
A member of club objected TO tina
publication of the list Of the meeting
nights OF the club, "because," he said,
"if it's published, we married men wiR
have to account Tor the ot-lights." Tho
motion to publish was lost.
Said woman speaker In New Haven
suffrage meeting: "WOman is in every
respect the equal of man. Her reputR-
tlon for heroic braverJ"-at that pOint q
ldu lubO duu Lu6 OIAIu4
jumped on the table and screamed. 4
Now" said a citizen OF Rawlins, W.
Oming Territory, at a recent dance, "yOu
see thai heller in red dress-thapS my
wife; an eff you dance with her mora
TWO times, pard, Ph shute the hull top
ovyer he'd off. What'il yer drinkr
You never sausage big dog as they
have at Rockport, Indiana. 1t is only q
nj a nd if,hp hYNn hrnA
seventy pounds. AT least it was only q
year old when the item started, and that
couldn't have been more than twentF-
two years ago.
A gifted young lady of Burlington, we
hear, is about to deliver lecture on the
subject, "Wom IN in Literature." Must
De about house cleaning, tor that is the
time when you can always find woman
| in litter at your house any hour OF the
day.-[Hawkeye.
! This Is dreadful winter for the poor
ice men. Every time they have raised
| the piteous wall that there will be ~
other ice famine next season, the theE-
| m0meter goes down to bed rock, and the
| Mississippi freezes from top t0 bottom
and halt way back.
] Pathetic domestic Incident A bewit-
dered man at his own door at midnight,
| in answer to his wite's earnest appeal
"WnY, Henry, oh wny do you come home
| at this time of nighLw responded WA
great seriousness, ''Cause zis ze oaRY
place open. All res' shu'-lp."
Owner coming into the stable aud aa.
dressing hostler: Il say, Jim." eyes,
sir" ''Iake Romeo's harness off and.
put it on Ouhelia." eyes, SIR" 'sGivG
General Grant some oats" eyes, sir.~
'Take General Sherman out to water.'
eyes, sir" "And rub down the Grand
Duchess" GAY, ay, sir."
every infant," says the ScientifE
American, "can say 'lo' several years
before it can say 'yes." Whereupon tha
Camden Post, which, though quite ua-
scientific, possesses a deep knowledge
Of human nature, adds: F'It should be
remembered, though, that infants ara
not invited to take something"
The announcement that Nelson SCAR
ried all before her in Pittsburg" in
slightly ambiguous, since it leaves the
mind of The reader in doubt as to wheth-
er she forgot her hustle, or in the ex-
element Of the occasion, adjusted it in
manner ulametrically opposed to the
prevailing fashion.-[ Worcester Press.
els married preferable to a singls
lifew was argued at a recent meeting
of Pennsylvania debating society,"
Only one married man appeared tor thu
negative, and he came dowa to business
next day with his arm in sling, green
patch over his eye, and a general APP
pearance Of having slept out all night In
The cellar.
The abbreviatiOn mania has reached
such height in the Great West tnaIa
Burlington minister announced last
sunday morning that he would t. a. 1.
take a text) bearing on the G. b. I.
great Brooklyn fire), and that the r. N.
G. Irregular monthly collection) would
now be iaken M p"
o6ns) The congregation s. ~ ., s. sne snels usas
Smlie), N'--N1s
tt"uns America was walking dowa
the street With his father, and seeing a
strange sort OF machine at the door or \
store inquired what iG was for. 81 am
sure l DON'T KNOW" replied the father.
de- they passed On. "No?' "CertainlT
not" "Guess l do" said Johnny.
"YouW Eyes SIR" ''Well, what do
you think it is toIp' "Reckon it must
be for sale"
Mr.. Blosburg, OF West Hill, was
crossing a pasture lot the other day.
when DerleVed COW, whose sole Of
spring had been torn from her side 10
supply the demand for veal, walized a.
ter him, escorted him to the nearest
fence, aud dettly tossed him over. And
Blosburg merely remarked that he had
never been so nearly killed with
kin( e )dness in his life.
II you lounge down into a rocking
chair and tilt back across the toes OF \
man in neat lifting boot, don't ask him
if he is hurt, OF say anything else calcu-
lated to make him speak; just let him
stand up and smile for few moments
until he gets his voice under control.
Society is used to the CHASTITY smile OF q
man with tight boots, and doesn't mind
it, but the quivering tones of an anguish
stricken voice are always calculated to
cast q gloom over the entire community.
Yonkers Gazette: ''Ips no use talls-
ing" she yelied; ''a mans man, the
world over. You could go out and
parade yourself all around town half the
night, with kerosene lamp on your
shOu der, while L was sitting here stark
alone, and now, if ask you to get q
bucket OF Goals or pail OF water, yo1
begin to warble about how tired you are.
| o youv-and she grabbed the pail and
gave the door n slam behind her, and he
remarked: "Well, it's no use; you can't
lease a woman anyhow"