The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1876-04-28
Wit and HulnOr.

A MAN who has nothing to seize Is III
easy circumstances.
To JAW man that won't jaw back is
like kicking at nothing.
SAID young doctor to lady patient:
"You must take exercise for your health,
nv dear" "All right" said she, "Iu
Jump at the first offer" They were mar
ried about six months afterward.
"MENU," we learn from the accom-
plished scholar of the Commercial, 8" is
Latin for fodder" It is wise child
that knows its own fodder in these
foreign dressings. Rochester Democrat.
MEMBER of hunt Ito farmer)-"I
wouldn't ride over those seeds If l were
you. They belong to disagreeable sort
of fellow, who might make fuss about
it. Farmer" Well, sir, as him's me,
he won't say nothing about it to-day
Punch.
PARISH clerks wife-Let you into the
church to draw interior L dustn't do
it, Miss. There was party there last
year, and do you know they left 'orrid
Dissentin' trac' IN the rector's pew
Ever since thyt it's against ORDERS
Punch.
FATTY G is the name of New Jersey
horse. And now what is the difference
between this animal and certain king
mentioned in LIST Kings in the Bible
Answer: One is Fatty G horse, and the
other is Jehos' "a phat.-PhilGdel'hia
Bulletin.
CLERGYMAN (who has forgotten the day
of the monthly y" Let me see this is
the-ah-the thirteenth, believer"
Fond mother (not catching the idea ex-
actly, but thinking of her family
"Why, bless your stars No, this is
only the eleventh I!
THE following are the latest observa-
tons of the season.
The wheezy south wind blows Its nose
And wakes the violets from their sleep;
| The equity shade trees work their toes,
And up the sun begins to creep;
Men feel the change, and women, too;
| Dogs feel it; also, Thomas oats;
| Cheeks now put ON q roseate hue,
And heads are stuck in (or against) new spring
| hats.
els TT becoming to me 2" asked she,
as she paraded in the costume of hun
dred years ago before the man who is
not her lord and master, but is her hus-
band. eyes, my dear, said he, meekly.
Don't you wish could dress this way
all the timef" she asked. "No, my
dear, he answered, "but 1 wish you
had lived when that was the STYLE"
The boys of Detroit seem to be going
down hill in their morals of late. Sun
day one of the legion, who has always
been noted for his respectful demeanor
toward the great public, observed an old
citizen yawning and gaping on street
corner, and said to him "Better not
open your mouth too WIDE" "Why g."
was the surprised query. "There's a
law agin opening saloon on Sunday "
continued the sinful child as he slid for
the middle of the street. Free Press.
A TEACHER in a Sunday school was ex-
planning to his class of boys the meaning
of Jacobs ladder" when one of the
number, more inquisitive than attentive,
inquired: IF the angels had wings
what was the need of ladder for them?"
This was poser, and while he was med
itating reply, and unable to answer,
another boy exclaimed, "I'l bet / can
tell what they used the ladder for. "
"Out with it, then," said the teacher.
ooh, guess they were noting"
A CAss avenue lady who has been pay
ing the milkman seven cents per quart
all winter ventured to remark the other
day that now, as grass had started, he
could afford to sell it at six. "Grass "
he exclaimed, as he gave her terrified
look, "grass started You ought to see
the COW l tul ned out to Craze last week
She walked i've hundred times around q
fifty acre lot after one mouthful of grass,
and when she got that it was fun of nails,
old bottles ard clothes-pins. She has
been under the doctors care ever since,
and if lose her I'll have to put up the
price to ten cents The lady is not an
agriculturalist, and she couldn't say any