Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1876-05-12
G1eaniags.

The first science q driver teaches his
cattle is geology.
Scrub races generally scour the track
for the sweepstakes.
The man who had q project on foot
went to corn-doctor.
You should not stone your neighbor.
but you may rock his baby.
Australia exported, in 1875, gold dust
to the amount of $15,SS9,5 525.
Secret societies are being organized by
the Chinese throughout Nevada.
Four women were arrested at Titus
vile, Pa, recently for assulting man.
One thousand men will be employed in
the Consolidated Virginia mine this sum-
mer
The site upon which Cincinnati is built
was sold for less than fifty silver dollars
in 1887.
A farmer of Santa Yuez, CAL, recently
traded 240 mustangs for one blooded
stallion.
Let the youth who stands at bar with
glass Of liquor in his hand consider
which he had better throw away-the
liquor or himself.
There are more dinners spoiled by the
bad temper of husbands than by the poor
cooking of wives
There were nearly 100000 postal
cards issued by the Post-office department
IN the month of March.
Washington has now got to be city of
considerable sights; which accounts, says
Spilkins, for making it once more the All,
me! headquarters.
Lucy Hooper wants large Yankee
population in Paris-people who get out
of bed and begin business before 10
o'clock in the morning.
A physician boasted at dinner that he
cured his own hams, when one of his
guests remarked: doctor, I'd sooner be
your ham than your patient"
Two hundred and thirty thousand cubic
feet of the best pine are used in making
the 10000, 100000 matches which the
United States annually produce.
The Britons whisper confidentially to
each editor, Hif this Weston is such a
bloody Immense pedestrian, why doesn't
C foot is hexpenses, you know?"
A lady of rank claiming that her hus-
band was dead to fashionable amuse.
ments, he replied: 'But then, my dear,
you make me alive to the expense"
Schoolmistress-"Joh Johnny, I'm ashamed
of you! When was your age l could
read as we'll as l can now" johnny
cav, but you'd a different teacher to what
we've got"
A Massachusetts girl had an attack Of
the lock-jaw from using chewing gum.
After the physician had given her up,
somebody called her red-headed," and
that cured her.
A man who contracted debt of 81, ,143
promised to pay it in two installments.
Last week he forwarded $11, and prom
ised to send the other $43 as soon as the
times got better.
An old tombstone in the burying ground
at West Lynn, Mass, has this inscription:
God took the good, too good to stay,
and left the bad, too bad to take away"
Rather rough on the mourners.
81 never larfed so much in all my life,"
said Guy at the club the other night,
'when sat down on, you know, nice
old chaps hat, you know, and then every
body larfed, you know" 1t was funny,
you know, wasn't it?
Why the English should be continually
singing God save the Queen" is more
than a reasonable man can conjecture
1t is always advise BILE to save tie Jack;
but the queen only counts two for game,
and is always good card to throw away.
Hugo Arnot, while one day painting
with asthma, was almost deafened by the
noise of brawling fellow who was sell
ing oysters below his window. 1.-The
extravagant rascal" said Huge, she has
wasted as much breath as would have
served me q month"
Some people seem to be extremely SEN
sitive. At one of the churches, Sunday,
the minister read the prayer for a person
in deep affiiction, and man who had
just been married got up and went out =
He said he didn't want public sympathy
obtruded on him in that way
Scene on an English railway train: No.
But ave you never noticed as mostly all
the places on this line begins with an Hs"
No. 3" Aw-'beg your pardon" No.
l." Look at 'em. 'Ampstead, Ighgate,
'Ackney, 'Omerton, 'Endon, Arrow, 'Ollo-
way, and 'Ornsey.
Providence is at war with hair dye and
sooner or later Furnishes the man who
uses it, "Bill Smalley," shrieked Kan
sas belle, suddenly Jerking her shoulder
from under her lovers head and spilling
him ignominiously on the floor, "you
can't make piller of me no more-your
hair smells like old iron films"
A favorite mode of curing intoxication
in Sweden and Norway is by using the
hair of some of the same dog. The drunk
ard is put IN Jail and fed on nothing but
bread and wine. He likes 1t at first, but
after few days it grows very disgusting
to him, and, if followed up, creates deep
seated repulsion to all that can intoxicate.
A thrcadbare tatterdemalion applied at
a low Inn in Paris for nights lodging.
When asked to register his name, he wrote,
"The King of Spain" The police were
at once notified, and when they came they
uShSu uiiA. Do you ptSlCAu W Ut tuc
King of Spain?" mot l." "Why,
then. do you so register your manner"
Because l wish to travel incognito."
During the drizzling rain yesterday a
Woodward avenue car jumped the track
and almost struck the curbstone. The
driver said he'd have it back on the track
in about a minute, but the only lady ON
the car at once stepped off into the rain.
you'll get wet-you'd better stay in
slde," called the driver. "Never mind
the rain," she pleasantly replied. "The
car is off the track, and l don't wish to
remain where my presence would act as
check on any emphatic remarks which
those half dozen gentlemen may desire
to make"
An ingenious hummer has invented a
new way of getting mis- liquor. He puts
two pint bottles in his coat pocket, one
full of water, the other empty. Then he
goes into saloon and asks for pint of
gin, handing out the empty bottle. When
, he gets the gin he puts the bottle in his
, pocket, and tells the barkeeper to "Hang
!, itup." Barkeeper naturally objects, and
demands the cash or the gin. hummer
reluctantly hands him the bottle of water,