The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1876-08-10

BY 8. CESAR reMrEY SQUASH.

De kentrys all ablaze
For Ruthcrfod b. Haze
All! it was fortynit dat your spected
pasture was an independunt delight
to de publycun conwenshun at Sim
sinnaty-de Ian oh bacon an lager beer.
His presunce dar sabed de feeders OBJ
de party from an excursion up salt
riber in one oh Robsum's fatboats
bout mex octember, de kentry from
ruinashun, and de wickid damocrats
from dippin dar iron spoons and forks
into Uncle Sans feshpots, from which
we hab 90 long ladled, feasted and
fatted.
But we am sabed from dat drefful
klamety jess by de skin OBJ our teefs.
If we had nomynated dat haff crazy,
sky-rocketty Blame, or dat ricketty ole
fossel Morton, or de kurly-heded
Konky, we should shualy hab gorn
up dat dark, dismal streem, whar de
tide alus runs in one direction, an
whar so many democrats am Iiein
bleechin, wild nary a drap OBJ kruikid
neber mo- to return. Darfo it am our
duty to shout an sing
For Ruthy b. Hayes. an Billy A. Wheeler
DE ones brick-de oder's a peeleri
De nomynashun, it am true, exprls-
ed eberybody-de nooze fuss fell like
an Avalanche OBJ snow pom de heds OBJ
de eDfoOzyastic B.anites, Mortunites,
KOnkyites, an Hartranfites but wen
dey recubered from dar astonishment
dalnnd an cusst little, drOwnd dar
dispintment in a few wisky straiis, an
clamly viewed de sitiwashun, aey all
in one gran koreas
Wild shouts objoy. an songs oh praze.
Jined in de kry for Wheeler and Haze,
Den on de wings OBJ greast litenin,
from desc sad mourners, went fort to
de CRATE Haze, dar hartfelt congratty-
lashuns dat dey wur not nominated,
an dat he was, an dat dey would put
fort all dar powers an enygies to gain
wigtory for de famus Unknone.
So you see, my brudrin, de ting am
surtin shua, if de democrats make
fules oh darsefs, as dey alIus do, by
nomynatin Bill Allen for presidunt
an Danyul Pratt. for vice presydunt,
or trot out a pair OBJ old disapinted
fossils from de publican party.
Den agin, de loosepapers dat had
ben SO blartant for Blain, or Konk, or
Mort, or Bristoh, hab all doused dar
flags an histed de banner OBJ Haze an
Wheeler !-wheder de tail OBJ de tikit
am side-wheeler or a stern wheeler,
his biografist hadn't yit infomed us,
but we shall kno all dar CRATE pints-
described fru tousan-power mixer
scope, wen anoder allober Optik an
doktir Felps hab publisht dar libes,
on witch dey am now workin wild bull
jine rapidity.
Pom all de offis-holers we can shualy
count, an pom dem dat seeks offs like
wise. Den we hab de alI-controlIin
infewence OBJ de rings-de creukid
whiskey ring, de railroad ring, de
stock-jobbin ring, de injun ring, de
poss traders, gabment agents, an con.
trakters generally. An fardermo, de
land grabbers, dem smart pollytishuns
who ony want a few mo- miIy un akirs
OBJ dem mizabel public lans dat am alb
surdly sposed to belong to de people.
but which am really the property OBJ
our party by de rite oh perseshun-by
de same rite dat we hole de treazury,
de white hous, and de goddess oh lib
erty. An to crown all, we am boff
seff mummy An hard mummy, tariff an
ante-tarif, ackordeon to locality and
sukemstances. But we am down on
de Heeden Chinee, becose dey hab no
votes de Germans go wild US, becase
we 60 for lager beer; de Irish gem
mans 60 wild US, becase we dec lare
dis de lunatic sylum oh all nashuns
and the whimin will rally for us becase
dey wer kinely menshuned i'm de con.
wenshun. DE mormons will be a little
down on US, becase we hab declared
agin polygamy, but dey muss be made
to know, as in dc past, dat we duzent
mean to disturb them i'm dar pious |
privileges. On de hole we hsb got an |
injenus fatfOrm to stan pOn-one dat |
can't faie to suite men OBJ all kinds oh |
principles; an if we shud allow dem
wicked damocrats to beet us, dey will |
git all de ofiisis, pay off de rebii det,
bOlish massa Linkims prockIamashun
dat sot us niggers free, exfranchise all
cullud people, bof norf, sOuf, eass an
wess, an redOos dem agin to slabery,
put JEFF. Dabis in chief oh de war offs,
Bowregard as general. an semines HE
admiral OBJ de naby. 1t am horrible
to think OBJ. Lef us ruder stick to
our army of bObcocks, belnaps, boss
shepuds, dan de honestest damocr at
dat eber drawed de breff of life.
Known dat you all see tings i'm dis
lite will apint bradder Seizer Orgus-
tus Haze Wheeler Smooch, to tote
roun dat Hazey hat. Muffin less dan
q two cent piece receibed.
An now, my belubed, let us jine an
sing for de fuss time, de new cam
pane sockdoIogy, ritten by decon B.
p. p. Smash, poick lawyeat to de wife
hous, wen Haze gifts dar:
De foggyess mernins britess rays
- Shines britely q. b. Hayes
DE damocrats stand in great amaze
Dat Ohigho's goin for Ruthy Haze.
lie darkess trix an wainess ways
Cant defect our dear bI udder Haze.
Let cherry ting in nateur prazc
DE wirtoos oh our IL. Il Haze
DE dog de moon at midnite bays,
Will barr his loudess for Ruthy Haze