The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-06-15
WHOLE NO. 1913.
Miscellaneous

II Tho paper containing many iine points
) paper Of pins.
A iruism an expensive wife makes q
pcnaiyc husband.
Young man. your bride must be won
before marriage bat you must both he
one afterward.
An Irishman has just sued fellow.
countryman at Kilkenny for selling him
= bullock with false tail. though the
defendant testified that u was pot on
only 20 switch OF the hies.
Al the show the other evening a gen.
tleman sarcastically asked a man stand.
ing up In front Of him " he was aware
that be was Opaque. The other denied
the allegation. lie said he was not
opaque. His name was o'Brien.
when a boy was asked. where was
the text this morningT he answered
III was somewhere in hatchet" In
hatchet7 No. 10 was Ia Acts" well I
knew u was something that would cut.
said the boy, triumphanily
rheumatism T. always a joint affair.
and yet there is only one party 70 ii
A young Philadelphia. threatened
with a hreach-ofpromise suit. says sue
away. Contracts made on sunday amt
legal
big longlegged man don't always
sometimes get ahead Of little boy" is
Chinese FOR the race i not always % tho
swift"
A somewhat illiterate woman. having
read Of a simeon that swept the plains.
is urging her husband 10 get one of them
new.iangled things for her 10 use in the
kitchen.
"My lord" began a pompous young
barrister. "it i written In the book 81
| Nature -"Ou what page. sirf On what
pager interrupted The judge. with pen
in hand.
Travelworn and seedy. be said "Afis.
/ ter. whore could Get a square meal for
twenty Eve csntsT lie was told Il
say. Mister" said he. where could get
the twenty-five cents 2
Scene in a horse car Seats al occu.
I pied. Lady enters. Elderly gentleman
rises. Don't rise. ! beg Of you. ] much
Y prefer you should keep your seat, eir.
should be very happy 20 accommodate
/ you, madam bat want 70 set out here.
A young she'll Rock (Iows) man. Who
recently started out for the Black Hills.
writes back 20 his friends that it'a per.
/ feet earthly paradise out thero and he's
/ perfectly delighted with a. lie also asks
them 10 please loan him SO % come
home with.
How shall We settle the labor quci.
ton = exclaimed q member of tho
/ Georgia legislature. In the midst of his
speech. by all going 10 work aud earn.
ing your living honestly" thundered =
| spectator IN the gallery. That sentiment
brought down the house.
Mrs Gitup. Of Davenport. remarked 20
a neighbor. the other day My husband
ia the hardest man to reason with that
ever lived. ! had 10 smash up my China
teapot aud throw a milk.pitohcr through
the lookingglass before ! could make
him promise 20 take me 10 the Ccnten.
niaL
AN old bachelor. upon residing that
two lovers will sit up half the night
with ono chair in the room" said Il
could not be done. unless one ol them
stands or sits upon tho floor And such
painful ignorance pretty plainly ind.
Gates that be has never been there.
In replying 10 a toast 10 bis health. on
n recent occasion. Lord Shaftrsbury told
a good story OF the man who said. when
his lordship was presented with donkey
by the costcrmonEerM IN Golden Lane
somehow or other. shall never again
see donkey without thinking Of your
lordship."
"Ah my good fellow. where have you
been for a week back y For a weak
back have not been troubled with
weak back. ! thank you. mo boi
Where have you been long back
Long back Don't you call me long
back, you inquisitive fellow
Five boys took all Of Friday to catch
hsh. They tramped about fifteen miles,
imbeddcd hook In a most undesirable
part for hooks in one Of the party. bad q
light in which one boy lost three teeth.
and another two. lost their lines. also a
straw bat They were gone eight hours.
Net rciult Of the trip One Cab. three
black eyes. Eve stone bruises. and a small
assortment % blisters. This is = part Of
the boasted civilization 90 the nineteenth
century Danbury News.
lie was a very young man. A few stray
hairs upon his iip attestsd tho fact that
he was engaged in \ deadly struggle with
a mustache lie went into a variety
store on Main street, and said 10 the pro.
prietor. Have you Charles Rcade's
Lost Herr NO. ] haven't replied
the storekecpcr. But" he continued.
looking into the young mans iacc. I've
l. -
taeho Of yours start out like boils In
Spring time
That our girls have a fne ear for music
cannot BE- Fainsayed II Milwaukee paper.
Right you are. ncighbor When NIL
waukee girl is requested 10 play the
piano Oikel forte. che does not like her
Chicago sister. ask him. with atnilc that
meets at the back Of her neck. 20 Just
flop over that 'ero music bot sits right
down aud turns the leaves with her OF
ear Danbury News
Bishop simpsons Centennial prayer
was more than twice a. longs a. PRECEDENT
Grants. General Hawlry's or Mr. Welah'a
speech II Philadclphia Bulletin. Tho
Bishop doubtless supposed that u was
the fret prayer ever heard by hundreds
/ OF ths usWelAltA Ht'" '-f"t' ."A ~
thought they couldn't Eet too much of n
good thing you know Norristown Her.
AID.
In the chronological Journal Of this
month j. a question from some one who
says he has a red nose. and describes him
scli as ono who never used coffee. tobac-
co, or alcoholic liquors. The editor Of
tho chronological Journal says that tho
real cause Of red noses - cold feet That
Z II the reason why men say. Give me a
glass OF cold feet -LN. y Herald.