The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1876-09-28
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,

| M1SCELLANEUUS lJENSs
The rising scene-kerosene.
Oregon potatoes weigh pound apiece
this year.
Humanity is progress, or it is nothing.
| -Sinuns.
| There are only three newspapers pub.
ished in Idaho.
Western farmers arc pronounced above
the reach of hard times.
Isn't it odd that the toughest prize
fighter is frequently the first to feint away
in the ring.
A man out West fogs his children
with chair leg, because he believes that
charity begins at home.
| Isn't this pretty go?" said Boss
| Tweed, when he saw the official. "And
isn't this hidalgo?' said the official.
"A syndicate why a syndicate is
the firm who lends Uncle Sans money
Oh, pshaw don't you know what syndf-
cate is?
Its about all woman can attend to
these days to prance around her flower
| beds and wonder how much longer they
will escape the frost.
When Milwaukee girl is old enough
to wear ear rings, her parents send her to
the machine shop and have her cars bored
with steam drill.-Burlington. Haask-
! Eye.
Santa Cruz, CAL, complains of the
singular infliction of too many shade
trees, and by the advice of the physicians
of the city considerable number are be-
ing cut down.
The thin and thick corn shuck wealth
er prophets are lifting their empty heads
again to tell US what kind of winter we
are going to have. 1t is evident that the
cholera has neglected its mission in this
country.-Erchange.
Some villain sent a neatly done-up
paper box full of wasps to the edi-
tor of the Milton IN. CO. Chronicle,
and the little pests actually cleaned out
the entire establishment, and delayed the
paper for whole day.
The country is full of suffering caused
by underpaid labor. A man in Boston
worked ten hours, the other Sunday, blew
open two safes, pried off the lids of SIX
desks, and broke the locks of three
moneydrawers, and nettcd less than a dol
lar.
The remedy for the servant-girl evil
has been found at last. 1t is for the lady
of the house and her daughters to do the
work themselves. The answer to this
National conundrum would probably new
er have been solved but for the "hard
tines
-" You see," said uncle Job, "my
| wife's a curious woman. She scrimped,
and saved, and almost starved all of us to
| get our parlor furnished nice, and now
| she won't let one of us go into it, and
| hai, had of
open for month. She is a curious wo-
man!'
An Englishman was boasting to a
ish Museum which was once owned by
Cicero. ooh, that amt nothin'," re-
torted the Yankee; Sin the museum in
Boston they've got the lead pencil that
Noah used to check off the animals that
went into the ark.''
| "A small boy was so unfortunate as to
remark at the breakfast table, the other
morning, ooh, dear! Pm so sweaty,"
quite to the horror of youthful aunt.
Being rcproved for the use of so inelegant
term, he replied: ooh! yes; know all
about it. They talk of horse as being
sweaty. When it's man he 'perspires,'
but young ladies like you only glow"
-Dobbs (who is jolly old bachelor)
and a bright young lady acquaintance
were bantering each other about marriage.
"Oh," said she, "you'll get married one
of these days, know; and you'd have me
now if would wait for YOU" "You'd
have to wait until my second childhood,
then," said Dobbs. ''Well, I shouldn't
have long to wait,' was the quick repartee
from the lady.
Says the Pail Mall Gazette: "An edu-
Gated population is one whose nervous
susceptibilities, from the nature of the
case, have been called into play in early
childhood. 1t will have more or less of
| the virtues and defects of the nervous and
| emotional temperament, and it will share
in that instructive dislike of pain in
| f1ictcd on others, which is one of the
forces of modern society. 1t may lose in
heroism, but it will gain in sensibility"
"A conductor on the Midland Railway
at Jersey City noticed that ticket of a
| certain cOmmuter'' lasted an unusual
time, and though he punched two holes
| in it daily the number of trips left did not
perceptibly diminish. One morning he
examined it carefully and bent it, when
several pieces fell from former punch
holes. The gentleman had been in the
| habit of picking up the pieces as they
dropped from the conductors punch and
restoring them carefully to their places,
so that their restoration was not noticeable
except upon close inspection. The CON-
pany does not propose to sell the offender
any more tickets and has posted notice
| to that effect in its ticket office.
"A very competent engineer has made
some careful surveys and estimates to de-
termine the possibility of moving Lake
| keuka about eight miles further up the
river. We are happy to be assured by him
| that the project is feasible, and that the
expense will be much lower than has been
supposed. The plan involves the buying
of q strip of farms extending from the
head Of the lake up to the corporation
bounds of this village. A trench being
then dug, of sufficient depth, and line Of
barrels filled with nitro glycerine carefully
is calculated, will lay open chasm seven
and half miles long, and half mile
wide, into which the water will rush in
perfect deluge. Penn Yam will then be
| left eight miles from the foot of the lake,
and all that space which is now covered
| with useless water will become, in few
years, fruitful farms occupied by an hon.
est and industrious population. The ex-
| pense of this great improvement will be
but trifle over 81 100000. The moneyed
men of Bath have already subscribed
| $500, 900, and the balance will easily be
made up by small subscriptions. A pub
lie meeting will shortly be held to secure
this important movement.-Bath IN. ~
| Courier.
FROM reports from forty two factories
in Ohio, in 1875, the following averages
are obtained: Average number of cows at
factory, 31O11; average time of running,
eight months and four days; average
amount of milk per COW for the season,
3.642 pounds; average amount of milk
per cow, per day, 1914 pounds; average
amount of cheese per factory, for season,
115 ,092 pounds; average amount of mon
ey per factory for butter, $462.5 amount
Of milk to a pound of cheese, about 10
$40 pounds; average price of butter sold,
IS cents per pound; average amount of
money per cowfor cheese, $685.; average
amount of money per factory from COM
| bined nroduct Ri 764 56 sewerage amount