The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-08-05
CREAM or OUR EXCHANGES.

No. Il2l Mr.. wilkins died 1884 His wife wore
half mourning. Moon in .z93- - !.
! Tu il3l Very low tide-shoes. Sun in apopeXy.
Five million years ago to-day base ball
was invented.
| ". IA The Dostons will play another club. EY-
pect hot weather about now.
A corresp ondcnt sends to the New York E,en.
ing Post the following epitaph which is written
on tombstone at Sterling Castle, about thirty
one miles northwest of Edinburgh, Scotland:
Our life is but winter day;
Some only breakfast and away;
Others to dinner stay,
And are full fed
The Oldest man but sleeps
And goes to bed
Large is his expense
That fingers out the day,
He that goes soonest
Has the least to pay.
The Burlington HaIct Eye says: The enemies
of the English sparrows have got the soft end of
the game. They are avenging themselves on
their feathered enemies, and at the same time
making neat thing of it by selling them in the
market at - cents apiece for spring chickens.
Any experienced housekeepcr, however, can
easily detect the fraud by the superior size OF
the sparrows
MI anu N'9' 'P''"a'', i''o VI '4' vi h''''o
Ne'cS, nave just introduced ana put IN framing
future candidate for President. His present
fighting weight is ten pounds.
Judge Wallace has taken the field for Hayes
and Wheeler, and will stump this section of the
state until Christmas.-D anoHle NecS.
Exactly; and then he can keep right on until
boIf do1ar Christmases GENE before bo seas
his man elected.
.,odes,r;or ,ybo roc.ptIv set ont IN WALL 100
,niiops IN a ',inr linn. in Rochester and fai,ad
smhseourn tiv arcomnlisbed the fnat ~ valkin ~
OF with SEVERAL unnaid hills In his nocket-N Y
Com. Adc.
That's the onIv Kind of nrofessionaI nedostr;
M
ans we nave ABOUT mere. ielI US something new.
Mr. Gladstone the DISTINGUISHED FnpIisb
statesman aid in a recent address that hand
labor is better paid in England than head labor,
same thing over here, William. prlze-fghter
ar and hiUa than opOt ran h. hnttin tham
clear across the street five or six times day
En-
According IN the Indictment Of q New Milford
y, ,,, ,,'3,, hoa so,a, war, 60 oss;s+ l,i,, ~
N.Y. man. WIZ H"u sew" '''. ~ ASSIST MN ~
his feet The hind end OF mule Is much
more premature than the front end"
carr schurz on renee was scared hlgh'
ANA hoIe III MS pocket re ula hoI hole.
he Jumped TO grasp at hayes IN the SKY,
Ana losI from MS POCKET Ihe herman vote
Ann hlza, one OF brigham ; was granted an
sa,a they,d soon 5rt a,irnonay the ola frIIo,v
had. But not all his wives are Analvzers.-4u-
rord Ne'cs.
The st. Louis Times notes the omen that Uncle
sam was nominated on Wins.day.
sun spots make the weather cool; and the
man who would try to knock the spots off the
sun is a villain and traitor to his COUNTRY
chi. Times.
There i a machine in Machinery Hall At the
Centennial, that manufactures a type. polishes
it, and sets it in a c!omposing-stick, But as it
(,cr ;yho Comes INTO ,be comnosn ron ", a." to
practice whistlng, it is considered & failure as a
type-selting machine.-Cht. Times.
Talking about Centennial and horse car poe
try, could anything equal the sublime original.
ty OF the following, by "Zozimus."a Dublin &C.
lebrity of forty years ago:
In Egypt's land, upon the banks of Nile,
And TO dry her royaI peltn She ran along the
strand,
a oui ,Itl tripPeu her' whereupoR sne saw
sha 800 II mn ara said in arcc,,S ,aU5
" lare ,an,ajors! girls, which q yiz owns the
'"''u'
When You reject says the Norwich butte
TN, that at pic-ncs, hundred years ago, it
was the custom Tor the girls to stand up IN a
10" '"u l'' 'n' men Mss '"e'" "ii Soou-'s 9 al
'n'o e"'"usi'S'l apou' "a''o""i P'oSreSS See"''
u w S'"'e instant
We saw mosquito work about ten minutes
=, ~ man ;,a17 n,os t,Yo raa~s sihi,n,tion
How we laughed as with look of disgust he
.oIaeu up ms niue blIl, placed u IN ms pocket
"0 VIM '' Wv ''''''''''''' "''0'
Avery daring Kentucky g1rI lately rode her
-oI7' 'i"se uP 10 tue euSe oi Sa"hiu@ chasih
ana proudly dched any gentleman OF the party
TO follow her example. Not soul stirred eX
zen, opr youlb who boIdlv hacked his horse in.
-, -,
10 tHt same poHltoH, anu stunning On MS Hedu