davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
Amateur Art Criticism.

A Detroit artist has for the past five
or SIX months been throwing his whole
soul into landscape which is now on
exhibition in a Woodward avenue win
dow. 1t is called fine painting by art
critics, yet what are art critics in num-
bcr to the great public, no two Of whom
see or criticize alike? There was
crowd around the picture yesterday, and
a boot black took a square look at the
painting and said:
"Purty good river he painted but il
runs uphill. Wonder If that artist
'didn't ever 60 fshing2"
There WAS a pause, and an elderly
gentleman with spectacles on remarked:
"What strikes me il that all those six
COWS should be switching their tails the
same way and ~ the same time"
The crowd looked closer, and IL was
the general opinion that the artist should
nave switched over some Of those tails.
It's very nice" said a young man
with sore eye, but look at that log
house from a builders point Of view.
Why. It's 50 far out Of plumb that Il
will fall over and hurt some one before
night, and the chimney wouldn't draw
If there we're forty fires below"
There was a long period Of silence az
each one Of the crowd lined the walls
with his eye. Then an old woman eau
tiously remarked:
mo matter about the house or the
cows or the river-it's nice picture.
got two chromos that paid dollar
apiece for, and don't believe they are any
better han this"
There was woman az her side with a
head Of cabbage in a basket, and she
put in:
"lf ] can find a nice smooth board
anywhere III have my husband make
three or four pictures like thatp
There WAS another long silence, and
then sedate man, whose garments we're
fast going to Times hospital for old
clothes, elbowed the boys back with a
great show Of authority, and remarked:
"You folks don't know anything
about art. You'd better 20 and criticise
n lamp post or a street sign. There that
painter has used up three yards Of good
factory, a whole days time, and more'n
two shilIings' worth OF paint, and yon
ignoramuses come around here and 20
to abusing his picture"-[ Detroit Free
Press.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
That AudaciOus Woman.

A gossipy bit Of news, however. You
have, of course, heard of a notorious
woman called Fanny Lear" am told
she il a Pennsylvania, and was pub
lie school teacher in Philadelphia. She
has been in Rome this season. i had her
pointed ont to me on the Pincio. She Is
a pretty little woman: has pert, sancy,
pOuting mouth. Lately, the Minister of
the Interior ordered her out of Rome.
Out of Italy. Indeed And she went
She made her conditions. however,
which were complied with. Her hotel
bill and expense to Monaco or Munich
to be paid, and this was done, 5000
francs. All the journals have notice Of
Lo sfrdtto di Fanny Lear (the expulsion
of Fanny Lear) This audaciouS Amer
lean feminine has been expelled from
rance; gave no end Of trouble in the
royal family of Russia, and has disturb
ed the domestic peace of quiet old Ia
dy who Is in close relationship TO the
Italian throne, and whose son has been
in the same danger that overtuok the
Russian Archduke. Fanny Lear can
now boast with all the insolence of her
tribe and profession that she has been
the object of one of the very first public
nets of the new Italian Ministry, for it
was the Minister of the Interior, Nicot
era, who invited her to leave the cuun-
try Instantly. Some of the Journals say
that the Russian Ambassador ut Rome
required her sfrdtfo; but the sober old
grandmother, the Opii lone. denies that
assertion with all the authority of an
ex official journal not yet used To being
unofficial, So now you know the first
acts of the Ministry-"Fanny Lear ex-
PEELED from Italy, and Nigra goes to
ConstantInOple. - Letter from Rome
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
MISCELLANY.
4 Race with an Avalanche.
From the san Francisco Chronicle

From the San Francisco Chronicle
1t was four wears ago last winter. ]
was coming with a train loaded with
weeks, and the snow lay deep, hut was
melting off fast in the warm weather
that had lasted nearly a week The
ground was saturated. and noticed that
things looked shaky on the mountain.
was feeling my way along carefully,
thinking the track might spring. as the
bed was wet and sloppy, when just as
got around the point Of this ridge, |
looked up, AMI it seemed to me that the
whole mountain above me had broken
loose. For hundreds of feet wide the
hill-ide was in motion and charging
down on me. The slide started one
hundred yards above the track and was
Rocks, trees and snow drifts plunged
down the face of the mountain with a
laundering roar, and seemed bent on or-
erwhelming us and burying Us in the
cannon thousands of feet below | was
never so close 10 death before, although
! have had nv share of perils on the
road. For moment / was stupefied, the
danger was so great and escape so hope
e<s, but only for a moment. deter
mined not to die without an effort, but
clapped on all steam, while the brakes
were thrown off at the same time. You
can see for yourself that the grade is
heavy here, and can belive that we made
fast time. The engine seemed TO know
her danger, and 10 gather herself for an
effort. She leaning, quivering and snort
ing down the grade in the maddest race
! ever saw. Down came the avalanche
like lightning directly upon us, throw
ing mp clouds of flying snow and splin-
ters and rock, and away flew the old en-
gine like a thing of life aud beauty, as
she was, dragging the cars like the wind
down the grade after her, abreast the
slide. But it seemed doomed to be all in
vain The avalanche came faster every
moment. 1T was almost upon US. The
rocks began to bound against the cars
and over them, and the train was hidden
in a cloud of snow. But we were hying
through the air now; the wheels seemed
never to touch the rail, and just as | was
giving up hope the engine rushed past
that little point of land just back there
where the little ravine comes down. This
turned the current of the slide, so to
speak, a little. and was our salvation.
The engine rushed past the point just as
the slide reached the track, and a big
pine, nprooted in the edge of the ava
lanche, fell across the next to the last
one crushed it. The track was swept
away like cobweb in gale, the coup
lings of the cars broke, and the cars fell
into the chasm left in the wake of the
slide, and were carried down to the riv-
er, thousand yards below. Whatth
is LETT of them lies there yet. The jerk
made the engine aud train jump the
track, but she keep on her feet and got off
with few bruises. That | account one
of the greatest dangers ! ever met in my,
twenty wears of railroadirg
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
An Old Captains Profanity COngre-
gationaliSm Versus Unitarianism.
From the y. Y. Evening Post.

ANiAA eiAV - L A~'t4AA4E oSt-
The old meeting house in nv native
town in Massachusetts was built as a
speculation. and realized donble it, cost
in the sale Of its pews Ny honored
father was its first minister. He was
a clerical martinez, and would not allow
anything that he considered false doc
tine. heresy, or schism To be preached
from the pulpit. Some of the cnngre-
CATION insisted upon an occasional treat
to liberal theology. and Mt last reSorted
to actual violence to accomplish their
end
One Sunday my father on entering the
church found a Unitarian minister es-
tahlished in the pulpit, and the old fash
ioned gangways on either side occupied
by his opponents. who hlnckaded his
entrance and guarded the interloper from
election. Fnrewarned of the event, nav
reSolntr father had provided himself
with a pocket Bible and hymn book. He
took his stand upon the lower platform
and began the usual services, his power
ful voice drowning the attempted inter
rnptions Of the clergyman above him.
Fortunately the choir as well "a the
church members were on his side. The
opening hvmn having been given out.
as soon a. the bass-violin commenced
its preliminary twang my father was
about TO sit down, when one of the enc
my, reaching over the balnster Of the
staircase, attempted TO pull the chair
from under him.
In a broad-aisle pew sat old Capt
Foster, -etired shipmaster, pious ex-
cellent Christian. and an exemplary
member of the church. He observed
the dastardly attempt, and, for the in
stant forgetting his profession of faith,
imagining himself on his old quarter
deck, confronted by a mntiny, he arose
excitedly, and. doubling his f-t, ex-
claimed, Davenport, drop that char, or
by Cd, III shake your d ID liver
out of you?" Davenport instantly re-
moved his hand from the chair, and
when a few days after Capt. Foster was
tried before 1.-The standing committee"
after suitable apology for his intem-
perate language, he was excused on the
ground of "extenuating circumstances"
The result was a division of the church
The old sore was not healed over for
very many years 1t was the curse of
our childhood and the bane of all our
early years. We were never allowed to
play with Unitarian boys, and, what was
harder to endure. the parents of Unitar-
ian girls prohibited them from receiv-
ing any attentions from us We were
brought up in horror and detestation
of each other. In passing Unitarian
house we gave it wide berth, and when
the little Unitarians passed ours they
looked at it askance, expecting see a
personal devil at the window.
This was the condition of society pro-
duced by sectarianism in the town Of
Dorchester, now a part of Boston. To
it Episcopalianism is in large measure
inde bted for its rise and progress in Bos-
ton.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
A Rich Man on Riches.

The following story, SAYS the Way
side, is told of Jacob Ridgeway, a
wealthy citizen Of Philadelphia, who
died many years ago. leaving fortune
of five or six million dollars:
MIR. Ridgeway," said young man.
with whom the millionaire was convers-
ing. "you are TO be more envied than any
gentleman | know"
why SOP" responded Mr.. Ridgeway.
Il am not aware OF any cause for which
| should he particularly envied"
"What. sir?' exclaimed the young
man in astonishment. why, are you
not a millionaire? Think of the thou
sands your income brings you every
month";
well, what Of that7" replied Mr.. r.
"All ! get out Of it is my victuals and
clothes. and can't eat more than one
mans allowance or wear more than one
-uit at the same time. Pray can't you
do as much?"
"Ah, but" said the youth. think Of
the hundreds of fine houses you own and
the rental they bring you."
What better am of for that?" re-
piled the rich man. 81 can only live in
one house AZ a time; Ms for the money
receive for rents, why. I can't eat il or
wear il; ] can only Use it to buy other
houses for Others to live in. They are the
beneiicIaries, not !"
"But you can buy costly furniture and
costly pictures. and fine carriages and
horses; in fact, anything you desire"
And after ! have honght them" re.
sponded Mr.. r., what then? ] can only
look AT the furniture and pictu-es-and
the poorest man who is not blind can do
the same. ! can ride no easier in fine
carriage than you can in an omnibus for
five cents, with the trouble Of attending
to drivers. footmen and hn~tlers; ard ~
to anything ] desire, ! tell you young
man that the less we desire in this world
the happier we shall he. All my wealth
can not buy me a single day more Of life.
and can not purchase exemption from
sickness and pain; it can not procure me
power to keep Afar of the hour Of death;
and what will il avail when in n few
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
NEW MILLINERY
AND
FANCY GOODS.

Grateful to the public for
the liberal PATRONAGE be-
stored upon me, I hare
the pleasure of Offering
the ne1CeSt and most ia
UOrite styles Of Spring and
Summer Hats, BOHHetS,
Ribbons, &c, and q choice
and select UdTjety Of Fan
cy Goods, lCIlich / t0iU sell
cheaper than can be p1tr-
chased iI1 any other eStab-
HShD1eHt in Perry county.
RAJ Give me call, in Mathews
building. l-t door. east side North Coz
lumbus Street.
JENNIE RUDOLPH.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

There j. ~ mcdiFine prescribed 10y
physicians, or sold by Druggists, rhut
carries such evidence nf its .urrrss nud
zrprripi virtue ~ BosCHEE's ttEHstAN
SYRUP for severe Coughs. Colds settled
on the Breast, Consumption. or any dis
ease of the Throat and Lungs a proof
Of that fact is thar amy rcrznn afflicted.
can get a sample Bottle for 10 cents aud
try its superior effect before buying the
regular size go IS cents. il hns lately
been introduced IN this country FROM
Germany and ita wonderful curea nrc
astonishing everyone that use H.. Three
doses will relieve any case. Try IL.
Sold by SKINNER & Bro. Somerset o.
38vl
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

nv child, but that to him was irdebt-
ed for the home that was mine for thir-
~ wears. He was very delicate in The
gif, Of that piece Of property He deed
cd il to nv wife. The husband OF my
oldest daughter i his Oldest son"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

VNO MINERVA MOORE. olivia s. Moore, J o.
i seph b. Moore, Albert Moore, and Charles
Moore, children 81 Joseph Moore, drccusvd-
also. 20 John Moore George Moore, aud susan
Huffman, children Of Elijah Moore, dcccnscd,
aud -- Huffman, husband ul said Susan
Huffman, all residents Of Madison county lu-
diana.
You are hereby notified that on the 7th day
Of April. 1876, John e.. Moore, executor ul the
estate of your late grandfather John = Moore
Of Perry county, Ohio. deceased, sled iu the
Court nf Common Pleas, in and for said county
Of Perry In the state af Ohio, petition against
YOU aud others alleging. among other things,
that doubts have arisen as 60 the proper cou-
struction Of the last will and testament Of the
said John 5. Moore, deceased, we'll as in regard
TO certain questions pertaining 20 the distribu-
tiOn 90 be made, under said will nf the assets ~
the estate Of said testatur, aud prnying said
court TO ause an order Go be made giving tha
proper construction oi said will. and directing
how the assets of said estate ought 90 he divided
among the several persons entitled 90 an Inter-
est ia the same,
And you are further notified tn appear and
answer said petition uu or before the third Sat-
urdny after the i2th day 81 May next
JOHN a.. MOORE, Executor
Of John IS, Moorr deccasrl.
by WN. SPENCER, his Atty.
April Z. 1876. 52w6
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
Enjoying a Comfortable Shave.

There is a man on Morgan street
hour yesterday. He had entered little
barber-shop to get shave, and was some
what surprised when the tonsorial artist,
as soon as he had placed him in chair
and wrapped a calico apron around his
neck, locked the door His alarm was al
layed as the barber began lathering him,
though he was not little astonished
from time to time to see him pick some
thing invisible from the cup, and, cast.
ing it on the floor, tread it beneath his
feet. Then his hair began TO rise as the
barber asked him if he saw that dark
man sitting on the coal-stove-not the
one with the earthquake in his pocket
but the tall one with his head under his
arm. Then the barber, with face of
horror, drew off his boot, and holding it
by the sole at arms length, first attemp-
ed to shake something out of the leg, and
afterwards remarking: Hes up there IN
the foot. 1 feel him wriggling-he'Il
come out-hush!-and then" put it
down cautiously in a corner and mount
ed guard over the aperture with razor.
But when the eccentric barber began to
look towards his customer and mutter,
at won't come ont, but blood will cure
my frenzy, then why not this? 1t won't
be more than twenty-one years, and the
Judge Will call me Mr. when he pass
es the sentence" and moved in his direc-
tion, the customer remembered an en-
gagement down town, and skipped ont of
the window in company with two wig
blocks, bottle of bay rum. two TASKS of
invigorator, and a box paper collars
He did not pause to go through the
formalities of removing the lather and
apron, or of paying for his shave, but
hopes that his seals skin cap and Ulster
overcoat, which he forgot to take with
him in the excitement of the moment,
will reimburse the barber for the cost of
broken glass, &c. For his own part he 1s
more than ever convinced that it will
| prevent diseases of the throat if a man
only wears his beard long = Chicago
! Tribune.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

Greensbnro, North Carolina, has
centenarian in whom time has developed
decided delibrration of character, since
it is related of him that "if any person
next time he meets that person"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

The cows of The Misses Smith of
Glastonbury Conn, have been sold again
They are Attorneys, small but servicea-
bic. Last week the ruthless tax -colI-c-
tor came and levied on the three milky
mothers" Two of them the Misses
Smith bid in; third seems to have been
carried off by some outsider. So there
was not absolute and complete desuin-
ton in the barnyard of the Misses
Smith. In addition to this, certain hank
stocks of these firm ladies have lately
been sold for taxes. The Misses Smith
are determined. They will pay no taxes
until they are permitted to vote. Cows
and hank stock are nothing in compari
son with this inestimable privilege of the
ballot
We are perfectly free TO say that we
admire the pluck of the Misses Smith
1t is true that obstinate women are bv no
means rare in this wilderness of world,
but real martyrs. true to their convic-
tons, even to the loss of cows and bank
stock, are not so common. Unfortunate
ly, it is also true that these heroines are
to some extent the victims of fallacy.
The male variety of the human species
pay tax>s without representation on its
property always until it is out of its non
age and not unfrequently afterward. The
Misses Smith forget that in a case like
theirs it is the property which pay the tax
and not the owner of il. If New York
man owns lands in Massachusetts,, albeit
he has no representative in the Gene raj
Court of that State. Whether the ladies
of Connecticut vote or not, the State
must look after their cows, protecting
them from all Rob Roys and OF .er raid
ers, and also protecting the edifice in
which they are housed from The mid :
night incendiary. When the State taxes
the cows, it is for taking care of them.
Constables are appointed, Justices of the
Peace are commissioned, and jails are
built for the sake of defending the right
and title of the Misses Smith to their
hICAtl are dShtb ~
pay a moderate sum for this service, and
they peremptorlly refuse. Every we'll
then" SAYS the State, 81 will take the
cows" A legal vendue follows, and the
Misses Smith buy IN the animals. In
this way they do really pay the taxes,
but they have sweet satisfaction Of hav-
ing their own way, pleasure which is
said to be promotive of longevity. So we
suppose that the Misses Smiths cows
will continue to be sold for many years
to come.
The theory of taxation is that proper
ty whether of male or female ownership.
must pay. Frequently taxes are assess.
ed npon land or chattels the precise
ownership of which is unknown. What
the collector wants is the money. He
doesn't care penny who pays 1t. Sup
pose the Misses Smith should take il in
to their heads to commit a theft. Would
it be sufficient answer to the indict-
ment that they were not represented in
the Legislature which passed the law
against larcenv?-G New York Tribune
A hypocrite in society lives in the
same apprehensions with thief, who
lives concealed in the midst of the FAM
lily he is to rob, for he fancies himself
perceived when he is least so; every mo.
tion alarms him; he fears he is discover,
ed. and is suspicious that every one who
enters the room where he is hid, is COM
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

~ If we may believe the Western papers,
when the land is tickled with hoe it
laughs with potato buRs.-[N New York
Herald.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

Florida has a volcano in an impenetra-
bic swamp, and the Rlliga'or- loaf
around it and tickle themselves that they
have n big thing Detroit Free Press.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

M ACRES--one mile east oi cumeuoti on
lUgD Rehohath road. lt in adapted tn Ole aur
stock or grain; is weli wnturOd with never inii-
ing springs; has choice fruit, consisting uf go
apple trees, pears, cherries and quucca. a
PLAN orchard of the best varieties ol dnmsnnai
cages, etc. Also, peach orchard 81 200 trcea
of the very best varieties. Good huildinNfi 70
acres OF good timber, and tcmcra nll tn GQod 70
pair. For particulars, call on or mddEuaa
GEORGE w. CANWuQus
oct. %, 1875, qod Somerset, ohio
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

Ekonomy don't konsist in saving in.
but in saving judieious-
ly.-lJ Josh Billings.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

A love-sick student went out few
nights since to serenade his charming
Araminta. The evening was balmy and
pleasant, and so spring like that, very
naturally, the Young mans fancy lightly
turned to thoughts of love. He found
the house, planted himself under the
window, touched his light guitar and
poured forth his soul in song. A light
suddenly appears and his heart is filled
with joy. The window is raised and a
fair form is indistlnctly seen. Oh! what
bliss! A voice, unmistakably that Of
the big brother, comes down like a fall
ing star: Move on, young man! We
don't want to buy any fsh!'-[ Rochester
Democrat.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

There's no special style of engraving
engagement rings. A spiders web with
a fly in il is n very pretty device.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

Time weares slippers of list, and his
tread is noiseless. The days come soft
ly dawning one after another; they
creep in at the window; their fresh
morning air is grateful to the lips as
they pant for it; their music is swee; to
the ears that listen to it; until, before we
know it, whole life of days has posses
zion of the citadel, and time has taken
US for its own.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05
Attachment Notice.


Linus H. pittoe, Defendant
Before Martin kaFay, Justice Of the Peace uf
Reading township, Perry county, Ohio.
ON the gth day % March. A. n. 1876. said
" Justice issued order ui attachment iu
thc above action, Tor the uum Of el16 ~ and
costs ISAAC lOSI.
April =. 1876. 52w3
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

All the islands on the coast of Maine
owned by the state are to be sold at auc-
ton.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

A hypocrite in society lives in the
same apprehensions with a thief, who
lives concealed in the midst of the fam
lily he is to rob, for he fancies himself
perceived when he is least so; every mo-
tion alarms him; he fears he is discover
ed. and is suspicious that every one who
enters the room where he is hid, is COM
hates more violently than fear, many an
innocent person, who suspects no evil in
tended him, is destested by him who in
tended it, Fielding
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1876-05-05

Concerning William Acton, will
only add, that he became my bosom
friend. He always felt that heowed his
title TO his valuable property 70 me; and
knew that not only owed the life of