The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1876-05-10

picked her up. She was not hurt
Twas but the tightness OF her skirt
She could not!
AN UNFORTUNATE COMBINATION
Just before the war, says the Vicksburg
Herald, young lawyer put out his
shingle here, upon which was painted,
"Lander Thomas, Attorney at Law" he
owned negro named Bob, who was a nc
torious thief, and he was soon detected in
burglary and srrsigned before the City
Court. OF course, bis, owner defended
him, but the evidence was convincing,
and he was sentenced to an sCquaintaiic e
with the whipping post. As he was
| marched off by an officer some one re-
marked to him, swell, Bob, they found
you guilty.. EYES," he answered, "my
character and Masss Lsnder's pleading
would hang anybody"
A YOUNG MAN WHO WILL GET ON.
The World is authority for the subjoined
anecdote A Hebrew gentleman had a
legacy left to him, but it was hampered
with an unfortunate condition, which he
hsstened to announce to a sympsthizing
friend. The sum was el0, 900, but halt the
sum, according to the testator's wishes,
was to be placed in his coffin and buried
with him. Was there ever such a waste
of good money? But the sympsthizer
was equal to the occasion. "Where is
the money now?" he asked, and was
told SIN the bank" GAIL right he
said; ''you write a check for $4,000, and
put it In the old boys coffin, drawn to
orderV That yeung man ought to get
on in the world.
EFFECTIVE COLLECTORS.
The Virginia New Enterprise says that
two Comstockers, members of certain
church in that city, were appointed con-
mitiee to collect subscriptions to a certain
amount. One of the men being officially
notified of his appointment hunted up his
psrtoer and told him Whist they were ex
pected to do. This last men toned falf of
the committee stood agbast. "What are
we to do about the mstter?" said he.
"Well, I'll tell you what shall dol shall
just GO into the bank here and draw
check for my half of the sum we are ex-
pected to raise" "Good," said the other.
his countensnce showing signs of rslief'
'Good! never thought of that. 1 shall
do the same" The pair went into the
bank aud drew their checks for the amount
they were expected to raise, and the troubls
was all over.
DOWN TO FINE POINT.
The Savannah News is responsible for
he following dialogue between a consci-
entious voter and his friends:
"Bout dis hyar lection bizness, rzs
done laid down new hsttorm?" said p te
to some other darkies.
sWbst sort of a new hatform is dst?"
was asked by another dsrkey.
"Well, dey ain'G gwine TO fool me no
more bout who I'ze voting for, OATS how 7"
said Pete.
"Whst you gwine to kuo' bout it? You
amt bin to skool siuce the las lection,
an can't read nohow!' returned a third
dsrkey.
"Nebber you mind bout my resdin'.
Niger; dat don't 'splsine de pint. But Pm
tellin' of yer dat wnen goes to a 'publi-
can an gets my ticket, I'ze gwine to make
him read it strait down from de top to de
bottom"
"Well?" they said.
"Den Pzs gwine 20 q Dimicrst and ak
him 10 read it back ards from de bottom
mp, an ef dat ticket don't dove-tail at bot
ends like a buro-Grsw' she don't 90 inter
de box, OATS ALP
A CHINESE MOTHER.
Talking of Chinsmen," said the naval
officer to San Francisco reporter, "re-
minds me of a curious thing. The other
day / went up town TO see mentioning q
Chinese merchant on Sacramento street.
/ know his wife well; / used to know her
in China. She's got two of the smsrtest
little daughters you ever saw. Every
time / go there she makes 'em sing for
me-"
"Chinese songs?"
mo, sir; American songs, you bet
She's got a teacher for 'em, and they Just
tickle piano now as fine as anything in
the laud. Well, the last time was there
to see them, the old woman says to me,
you sabee lille Gelmen gelle?' says,
Yes, 1 sabee little German girl. what about
herf We'll, sac says, You cstches
me one lille Gelman gelle, me gives you
fl tee dollsh.' 1 didn't know but what the
old woman might be doing some kidnap-
ping business on the sly, so 1 told her
pretty short wasn't that kind of man.
l. II you paid me thousand dollars
Oh she says you no sabee. Me no
want to makee him bad gelle. Me make
himme allie same Alb See. '-That's her own
eldest little girl. why wouldn't an
American girl dc your ssysL co. she
says, Me no want Mclean gelle too
muchee dless, too muchee fly alound.'
And do you know what the burned crit
ter's idea is, said the naval gentleman,
reaching for his companions tobacco box,
Why, she thinks that by getting little
German girl and bringing her up with her
own children, she'd be able to take them
into white society when they grow up."
A HEAP BAD MAN.
The San Francisco Chronicle says that
when the emperor's party had reached
Humboldt Station the most amusing oc-
,urrvnce OF the trip took place. Natchez,