The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1876-12-30
Written for the Register.
The Dutchman's Matrimonial
Speculation,

AND wHAT CANE OF 1T, AS NARRATED BY HIMSELF
In dravellng sboud through the country
Nit Won horse peddler's cart,
came across young vidder,
Who shtole away of me mine heart.
She was young, she vas handsome und pooty;
She Good laugh, she Good blay, she Good sings
Und she tolt how much she vas lofs me,
und .gread many.od dings.
Dis vidder had Won leedle baby
Whose fader nopody vas known,
Und she tolt me If wood marry her
Der baby shood be all my own;
Und thought 1t vas coming SO nicely,
1t wood gif me Won shtart In life,
In do FIRST blace TO get me baby
Und sometimes to got me wife.
She tolt me de babys fader
Had psen dead aboud dree years or four,
But do baby, she said, wasn't older,
Than sbust aboud Won year nor more.
But she said twas all shust as II shood be;
But shtill twas Wonder 10 me
How she vas got such nice baby,
Und nopody be dere to see.
pooty soon, though, vinaliy promised
I'd marry her rigid away;
She vas glad, den, und den she vas tolt me
How happy we'd be efei y tay;
She said We shood haf Us q cottage,
De INCEST ash nefsr Good be-,
Und we'd life shust like colts In der clover,
Herself, und de baby, und me.
Veil, den, ven thought II all ofer,
said dot guessed twas all rigid;
So tolt her IL she wood get ready
We'd be married de very next nighd.
Meln Gott If der lighdning had struck her
She voodn't haf jump half 80 high,
Cnd she hugged. und she kissed. und she eh led
Till come pooty near going to die [me,
So, early noxt day In dc morning,
A leedle viles afternoon,
Der briest comes to see vots dc matter.
Cnd he married us den pooty soon.
Den we moved away oud In dc country,
10 house all surrounded NIT drees,
Und my wife said we now will be happy,
Shust de same ash de mouse on de cheese.
For while all vent charming und lOfsly.
Cnd der baby vas playful und shmart,
Und my wife she wood fondls und kiss me.
und call me her pride Of mine heart;
So thought vas got to best pargains
Ash meier maze IN my life,
Und said vot fool had made me
So long without getting wife.
Pooty soon, though, I found yots do matter,
She GOOD scott me und call me lie,
Uhd dc young one she learn Of her msdder
To do de same dlngs bye und bye.
und so 'twixt dem both vas rather
Life Of by myself all aisne,
Away from their snarling und growing,
Like dog dots afraid of his bone.
Won tay I vent of In do morning,
IND tidn't gone back pooty soon,
For got awful Digit 80 / couldn't
TIL tomorrow sometimes afternoon;
But ven comes rount und got sober,
found dot der teufel's to bay,
For some odder fellow had psen dere
All de viles I'd psen shtaying away
/ vas mad den, und said tOn't wanted
Dot chap to comes pack here some more;
But she tolt me twas none Of my pizusss,
Und I'd peter 60 oud Of dc door.
Veil, / vent, und said shall kill me,
But tidn't, but vile wash gone,
Doy shtole all my dlngs dey Good carry.
Und left me ash bare ash bone.
Now dey'rs gone, and vonce more gain aready
I'm 1.-Two all alone In der house,
IND tont got no yomans to scott me.
But eferyding's shtill ash a mouse.
60 dinks do next dimes gots married,
II only know vot I'm aboud,
I'll find some more fool ash vat I vas,
Vnd den I'll shust let dot job oud.
QUEER.