The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-04-08
CREAM OUR EXCHANGES.

and RETURNS home to find his VIE pacing tue
,;,,;no room. he quietly Observes "Well, you
.on he easy in YOUR mind after this She gets
rosdv to pour torrent OF reproach at him, but
he continues: al had some idea OF going to the
Black Hills in the spring. didn't want TO say
ANYTHING to you till I'd heard more about EN-.
was at meeting tonight and found out that
the gold excitement is all SELL I'm going 10
stay right here with my loving wife"
Its a shame that such splendid presidential
nrosnects as Bristow had should be destroyed by
the kick OF mule.
We notice that Beelzebub is a regular cor.
yesnondept OF the Wyoming Post. We haven't
heard much Of the old fellow since our nunaay
school days.-lroQaois Tunes
Cannot something be done to prevent young
ladies' from being insulted on our streets AZ
nichtv' asks a Cincinnati paper. There can
Inst have the girls mother tuck her into her
little bed about eight O'Clock in the evening ana
lock the door on her.
Dr j X. Sewell, Of Normal, delivered lecture
ON "Sand at the court house on tuesday eve
ming. IL was very inc.-ADpeGi. Whieh-the
sand or the lecture?
The editor of the Golden Cob Globe, in closing
his first volume saysi "Ii we hurt any ones
feeling or prospects the past year, we're sorry,
and IL they will come around back OF the ONCE
s,mc night weIl take it out OF them and be
friends"
The Syracuse Republican platform says Pres
dent Grant, in his retirement from Office, will
carry with him "the lasting gratitude OF the
American people" Let US hope he will also ear
rv with him his brother Orvil, ard brother-in'
law Casey, and Cramer, and Shepherd, and Bah
cock and a few hundred others Of that sort
When an Oshkosh clergyman stops in the mid.
die of his sermon to remark, Dearly beloved
ITO awful dry thrill Of sympathy pervades the
entire congregation, aud in the twinklng OF an
eye hundred loaded pocket TASKS are flashing
in the air.
A"heart-broken wife, of Brooklyn, writes to
one Of the papers asking Nessrs. Moody and
Sanky to repr0ve the women who take married
men. not their husbands, to the services OF the
Hippodrome.
This is the latest. suggested by the Cedar Ra
pIds Republican:
Druggists and druggists clerks beware,
Fill prescriptions with the greatest care
Scan the labels with q critical air.
And taste in the presence OF the cust0maire
man in Troy, Ind, died Of apoplcxy the 9th
dsy while chopping wood. When will men learn
to send their wives to attend to such chores!
The Tendon papers call him Israel Winslow'
That Is not Israel name.-GTdphf.
Atas social hop in Anderson county Ky, re-
Gently. two gentlemen and two ladies were shot
and killed. There 10 such thing, it will be OBJ.
served, as being TOO internally socisble.--RochtS.
ter Democrat
Dom Pedro II is on his way TO this country,
and is expected to arrive at New York on or
about the 10th inst. After visiting the ccntcn'
isl exposition he will pass through La Sale on
his way to the Pacific coast-Ld Sale Press.
Can't you persuade him to stop of at La Sale
long enough TO make voyage to Shppingport
and back? shod with good mudwollopers II
wouldn't occupy him more than week, and
then what theme to write a book about when
he gets homc-that he saw Shppingport
1t 10 fortunate for the country that Belknap
cot out OF office before the organs discovered
that Clymer, and not he, was the guilty party
Free Press
The fashion papers say that bOnnets this sea-
son are 10 be worn on the head. Perhaps the
head is as good place as any TO wear a bonnet,
bat won't it seem odd, after seeing them go long
worn on the back Of the neck OF hanging on the
eye brow:
njamin Mackercl, Of Lansing, Michigan,
eloped with his mother in-lsw, last Thursday.
Ne was pursued and captured BY policeman.
Such mackeral with such a taste must be an
odd fish, indeed.
The PIKE County Democrat tells Of woman
who lost gold ring in straw bed; the straw
was empted in the barn yard and, with the man.
gre was spread upon a field. in the fall the
woman found her ring in q boiled potato that
came from the field. Who can beat that: We
give it up, but perhaps Jimmy Blanchard the
St Adams Charley Ross would undertake it,
Every married woman is personally acquaint
ed with q mar who will sit right alongside Of a
stove and let the fire go out.-Ddnbury NorS.
Bristow says the country is getting short Of
currency, which is point in which we resem
bic the country near enough " be twins
Bridgeport Standard.
Susan B. Anthony lectures in Ottawa to.mor
row, April fools day" An appropriate day
surcly-Aendotd Bulletin.
But the biggest fool in the county didn't hear
her. The editor OF the BaiLetin wasn't here.
The following supposltious correspondence,
ON the eve OF the recent exposure Of the
Grant Belknap post-trader frauds, ID suggestive,
al least:
Executive MANSION, March
II. W. B.-I am hanging on the ragged edges
Of anxiety and dispsir. You have been there
tell me what 10 do about ii? L. 5. u.
L. G.-lf the danger is not imminent, brass
IL through. II the skeleton Is threatened with
speedy eIpOsure-call an Advisory Council.
II. W. b.
Winslow, according 10 the Burlington Hank
eye, readily relieved the anxiety Of his Boston
friends by sending them the following dispatch;
"Do not lose any sleep on my account, viii
come out all right. II wasn't me; 1t was Mrs.
WlnsloWn
A Kansas City surgeon has put new lip on a
young girl Of that place. and the newspapers
there look al it as a wonderful feat Most Of the
Ottawa sirls have all the lip they need, but