The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1876-01-27

VOLUME 2S-NUMBER II.

n
san EranciEcO magnate, denouneing
the Chinese. "OD!y the other dav.
/. N our rainy season, when the mud
: as nitee1 inches deep - Noptgorn
? eTy street, yellcW chap in fur tippet
an purple sasin gown was crossing
: Ossr toe road by plank, when one Of
|, Ocr worthy citizens, seeing EOW nice
! y he vas oTtssed, more like 3 IaGy
nan trade msn, Tan on the plank
. meet him, and, when tue feIIou
stopped and stared, just gave him q
little JERK, and whisked him, with 3
, Wagglsh laugh, into the bed OF slush.
; De picke1 himself up, shook OF 9 lit
Tie OF the mire, and looking mildly at
, or worthy citizen, eurts=yed Ike q
girl, saying to him, in q voice that
one standing rOul.s e0aId bear you
Christian me heathen; goOd-by.' "
! There is 4 contest in Cincinnati over
. the will of Timothy Kirby, who died
. veE7 rich The te1timony shows that
the woman whom be regarded as his
vile, although he gave her money
'ayisaly, often whipped him. "He
: came ID my Office with q broken
am" physician testified, 'sSnd the
fracture hsd occurred several DAYS be-
fore. He hsd told his friends thatt
nnFc came from fall on ladder, bot
% me heeoofeSsed that the woman,
N rs. Francis, h5d struck him With a
eiuo- lh'roy seemed infatuated with
hef, and ner abuse of him did not
cure his folly. The win devises 4 9reat
amouue Of property 20 Mrs. Francis.
s1d his children are coutestiuz on the
grounds that her influence over him
vas undue, and that his love for her
manis.
"Pshaw :" said a tfuly pious Chi
e3go woman to her husband, as they
were talking over taking q pew in =
fashionable sanctuary. "Wnat peo-
pie can want u be paying $500 a wear
lor seas IN the front Of the church,
oeeause Il Is fashionable, I can't see.
Nor can | see what such people 90 20
church far at all. Now, II you take a |
seat away back it casts much less, YOU
can bear and see quite as well, aud be-
sides you can see all the dresses AZ the |
women go up the aisle, without turn
ing round TIL you get crick in your |
neck, and making everybody think |
that JOu're heaLhen who sits under /
the dropping OF the sanctuary for any,
thing bot the right purposes"
Near the Walter Scott monument.
ia Grey FIiar's ehurchyard.s Edin.
oGfgh, stands red granite fountain,
erected IN memory OF "Bobby,n q
Scotch terrier, Of'whOm the church |
sexton tells this stcry: For thirteen
aud half years this dog staid by the
grave OF his. master, day and night,
until he also died, aud was hurled In
the same yard. Regularly st the fir-
ing or the castle gun at o'clock, he
went To butchers near by, where he
was fed, and then be returned to the
grave of his maste-. When the /
Baroness BuFdett Ooutts heard this
stlry she had the monument erected
at cost Of 900 pounds sterling.
Mr.. Henry Field, writing from
COnstantInople to the Evangelist,
give graphic picture Of the Sultan
Abdul Aziz. IN which he says that he
Is free from vice5, aud dOs3 not even
smoke, aremarkable thing for TURK;
but his appetite is enormous, and |
when he go-1 to the OperL he Is fol-
lowed by servants, bearing q load OF
edtbies. DE prefers to be amused by
buffoons and dancing girls. In short,
IS nothing more nor less than 8
big baby, VINO mas 10 be amused with
playthings. "~-5-t
1t was "moderate'i Ben. Hill VIII o,
IN lS5S, Introduced a resolution in the
Con fedsrs.te Senate providing that
every person pretending To be SOL
der or officer Of the United States,
VINO shall be captured on the soil OF
the Codedefate States after the 1st Of
January, 1853" should be brought te-
q 1 ffur - 4,
der. and, without "satisfactor ry proof
to th" contrary, should "suffer death"
-Ci7oiuIati Tines.
"What am I made OF ?'' asked a
little girl, fresh from ner Sunday
school lesson, as she essayed 70 show
of her knowledge 10 3 younger sister,
VI don't know was the honest an.
swer. "What do mamma sweep
up from the floor ?" was the first
speakers next trail in SOeratie meth
od. "Pins, needles, and hairpins %
was the prompt but unexpected re-
sponse.
Josh Billings writes that "PniIosO-
pliers sul agree that the milk is put
into the kokernut, and the hole Is
neatly plugged up; but VINO the fell
lar is who duz IL, toe philosophers
are honest enough, for a wonder, to
admit they can't tell u+."
An Alabama editor, in putting a
grocery store kept by woman, says,
"Her tomatoes are as red as her
own cheeks her indigo as blue as
her own eyes AID her pepper as hot
as her own temper"
When a Missouri engineer ditched
his train he family asked "Did it
kill any one who parted his hair in
the middle ?n They answered that
three such were lying dead. siThen ]
die happy" he sighed, snI was soon
no more.
"ParsOn tells me, sir" said Brit
ish farmer, once, speaking OF that ex-
race Of people, the gyp-
sizes, "that their origin Is lost in the
mists OF iniquity and am bound
to say L believe him, for greater Z
rogues don't live."
A down-couutry farmer who put IN
; halfa with turhips last summer,
says they didn't bring him q cent.
He should try onions next time.
They always bring q scent.
A stump speaker, in dealing with 2
he modern physical degeneraey OF
exclaimed, 1--WE must take IN
good Care Of our grandmothers, for sc
Ds shall neUer get any more ?" n:
An Irishmsn recently soliloquized:
What waste Of money to be buy :
ng mate when you know the half Of
i Is bone, while you can spend it for
whisky that hasn't bone in it. =
"Was the crowd tumultous ?'' in
Iuired one man Of another who had
nst come froun q mass meeting. "Too
replied the other. "Oh,
10, just about multuous enough to
i'll the hall"