The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1876-06-15
I,ems of Interest.

| Domestic a9azines-Wivesw who blow
up their husbands. N-.5 ...I -.- at.
There is gold in the Black Hills, bu
the men who get it don't come home. -a
It seems that base ball is an old He
brew game, as Solomon refers to the
pitcher being broken at the fountain. rs
Judge" Have you anything to offer
to the court before sentence is passed
on youY" Prisoner" No, Judge; / had
$40, but my lawyers took that" ''' ---..
Till we have reflected on it we are
scarcely aware how much the sum of
human happiness in this world is in
debted to this one feeling-sympathy.
Keep your promises to the letter be
prompt and exact, and it will save you
trouble and care through life, and win
for you the respect and trust of your
friends. 3.u .lE t. -.- .iU q
A father, bent on instructing his three
year-old son, said: ." If you had three
apples and should give me one, how
many would you have left 2" "I
wouldn't do it, pa" was the prompt
reply.
The latest device of the circulators of
advertising cards is to place them i'll
envelopes inscribed: "To the lady of the
house-For your life do not open this
before eight minutes past eight to-
night"
They say it is impossible to cheat with
one of the turnstiles used at the Centen-
nial Exhibition yet one of the gate
keepers turned in $50 more than his
registering apparatus called for the other
evening. ....... ... .......... ..- ...
Fashionable tailor L can't help fit
ting a figure like yours, sir, and I'm
willing to lose money for the sake of
the advertisement, sir.'' Freshman is
delighted, and pays an extortionate bill
without murmur. .'..
From London Fun (on the hat and
cloak fashion,: Shocked and astonished
verger-" You bad and wicked boy, why
don't you take your hat off in church 2"
Bad and wicked boy Overcome with
guilt)--" If you please. sir, I'm little
girl" ..l. .....-... ..... .n-...
Roberts, the man who killed and de-
capitated the California bandit Chavez,
has cheerful relic on his hands. He
has to wait for the next Legislature to
authorize reward for the head of the
noted william, and all the time he has got
to keep by him and preserve the head.
The following is clipped from the
London Guardian. A widow, a great
invalid, wishes to place two of her
daughters, aged twelve and thirteen
years, under the charge of lady who
would, when necessary, administer the
birch rod, as they are extremely trouble
some. Terms liberal.
A story is printed in Paris that the
czar, while at the bedside of his dying
younger sister, told her how much it
panied him to see her die so premature
ly. She replied: "You know they
don't live longer than sixty years in the
Romanoff family. This speech made
deep impression on the czar. He is now
fifty-eight years old.
On the arrival of circus at st. Croix,
miles distant sold their only stove to
method of travelling was by means of
On OK team. One day was consumed in
going, another in witnessing the enter
Happy and contented they arrived at
Gus the best thing they had ever wit
uSSScu, anu tuc uiOueJ well dAl t,SiNoll-
tageously invested.
Opium eating deranged young mans
mind so much that he fought imaginary
foes with his revolver at midnight in his
room in London, England. The fright
ened inmates of the house ran out into
the street, and two constables proceeded
to the maniac's room up stairs. "They
are mesmerizing me-" shouted the mad
man, and shot the two officers, wound
ing them severely; one, however, struck
him a blow with his bludgeon right
across the nose and felled him. He was
secured with great difficulty.
1t is recorded that gentleman resid-
ing in one of the large towns of Eng
| land, whose face exceeded the ordinary
dimensions, was waited on by barber
every day for twenty-one years without
coming to a settlement. The barber,
thinking it about time to settle, present
ed his bill, in which he charged penny
day, amounting in all e31 les. Cd.
The gentleman, supposing too much
charged, refused to pay the amount, but
agreed to a proposal of the barber to pay
at the late of f200 an acre. The pre-
misses were accordingly measured, and
the result was that the shaving bill was
increased to G73 IS. Sd.