The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1876-01-13
& HANDLE FOR 4 FORK"
BY JOSH.

Some men doubt theory or princi-
pie, or fact that correctness of which is
unquestioned by any one else, and the
evid enoe that convinces such doubters is
required dy none bur such. We have a
notable instance of this in the case Of
Thomas, in ancient times, and of Fork
in the present, but there al likeness
ends between the pair"
Fork had long been in doubt why Josh
left North Carolina, but lis (Josh's) egg
nog letter " clears away all doubt or
that subject" When l wrote that egg
nOg article had not the remotest idea
that 1t would do the good it has, and is
lihely to do If any one were to claim
that he had found the philosopher
ssune, or the fountain of perpetual youth
or that he had discovered perpetual mo
ton. or a universal Solvent Fork, true
to the opaqueness of his perceptible ia
calties, would fal to perceive the truth
and astice of the claim, til such time
as Josh should write another egg-nog
letter, which w0nId = clear away ali
doubts on the subject" Egg-nOg must
be a near approach to the universal
Solvent, so much sought after by chem
lists, since it dissolves the scales that
had formed over the eyes of Fork during
a long p-Vau-Winkie nap 1t also
Ioosened his tongue, and he opened his
mouth and spake, and Josh was as much
astouished as was BaIaam when a Ger
tain mule be had, named Fork, spake to
him
Fork says that " a farmer knows that
when horse becomes mischieVous and
he can get a thorn-bush under his tail
be will run away" Well, who or what
wouldn't? But it is strange that il
takes a farmer to know this. Why can't
merchant or doctor, or newspaper con-
tributors, know the same things as
WE'LL l would suggest to Fork, that
should he by shy ind secretion of his own
OF other. even become i candidate for
constable he put a thorn-bush under the
tail of his " hobby" then he woull ride
a Ia GiLpin into the Office, "in spite Of
fences, bitches, hedges, or authing else
Speaking of Josh's comiug into his
midst, Fork says" Whether the aequi-
si.ion shall prove a blessing or otherwise
depends muchly upon the manner in
which Josh shall wieid, not only his pen
but his toIish." When | grind grain
the law specifies the per cent of toll !
may take, but when grind up oil Forks
can take as much toll as [ please.
shall grind the present grist toll free,
for two reasons: First, | want to make a
good turn out, next, the toll would al
ways be on my han Dis, for l couldn't use
it, aeIl it, or give it away.
." Forks PnOebus, what a name"
And l am sorely puzzled to ind out what
fork be il, whether he is a fork of the
road, or river, or, if he is of the family
Of the fork-overs. E pecially would i
| like to know whether he is a assh-fork.
,urning-fork, pitch-fork or a duug-fork,
for, Notwithstanding am a poor orphan,
don't intend to be forked over By any
and every sort Of fork.
Fork takes it for granted that 1 am
an honest miller and truthful author.
| am hattered by this compliment, and
viii return it with interest when find
| out who and what Fork is In the mean
time take it for granted that be Is q
kind hearted, genial and joviai gentle
man, aud as such, bid him an affection
| ate adieu.