Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1876-05-06
Wanted to be an Editor.

the business ?" we asked of a verdant
looking youth who applied for an ed
itorial position the other day.
Haven't I though" he replied, as
he showed one foot under his chair to
hide the unskilful patching of a back
woods cobbler. II should say Id had
some experience-haven't l corres-
ponded with the Punkinvslle Screamer
for six weeks ?-Hain't that expert
ence enough? p
THAT will do very we'll" we re-
piled, "but when we take young men
on our editorial staff, we generally put
them through an examination. How
much are twelve times one ?"
Twelve why any little boy ought
to an
Hold on, please-don't be to fast
who discovered America ?"
"Klumbusl Pshaw, them questions
are just as easy as
"Who was the first man."
adam why mister, know all
What was his other name p
"His other name? why he didn't
have none"
eyes, he did. You see that's where
we've got you. His other name was
Ebenezer-Ebenezer Adam, Esq, late
of Paradise. Nobody knows this but
editors, and see to it that you don't
tell anybody"
He said he wouldn't.
"How many bones are there in the
human body?' -.
"Well, l forget now, but I did know
wunst."
What don't you know that Why
there's 7,4S2,92l, ,444 bones in an or
dinary man. A man that snores has
one bone more than other people.
What bone is that ?"
"The trombone. 1t is situated
somewhere in the nose. You wont
forget that, will you?''
He said he wouldn't.
How long would it take a mud
turtle to cross the desert of Sahara
with small orphan boy to touch him
up behind with a red-hot poker ?"
well, look here. Mister, if I had a
slate and pencil could figger that out,
but dog my skin if I'm much on men
tai rithmetic."
estate and pencil Did you ever
see slate and pencil about sane
tum? Well, we'll let that question
slip. Have you good constitution F?
Putty tolerable."
"How long do you suppose you
could live on raw corn and faith, and
do the work of a domesticated
elephant ?"
"Lord l don't believe I could live
NOR n a week"
"Well, that's about as long as you d
want to live if you got an editorial
position on this paper. You appear to
be pretty we'll posted; we shall ask
you one more question, and if you
prove equal to ityou can take off your
coat and sail in"
Lets have 'er, squire. didn't
correspond with the Pumpkinville
Screamer six weeks for nothin'. Let
'er come-I'm on deck, l am"
"Well, sir, if two diametrical circles
with octagonal peripheries should col
lide with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy,
or, to put it palmer, we'll say dis
franchised nonentity, what effect
would the catastrophe exert on crys-
talized Goldfish suspended by the tail
from the homogeneous rafters Of the
empyrean?"
As the full force of this penderous
problem broke upon his bewildered
brain, he slowly dragged his inartisti-
cally cobbled shoe from under his
chair, and started from the room. We
heard him descend the stairs, go out
and close the door. We then placidly
resumed our duties, regretting that sc
promising a youth should have beer
weighed in the balance and found
wanting.
Two years ago a young man married
girl with such fiery red head
that he had to look at her through {
smoked glass. But she is even with