The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-08-04
WHAT THE WIS sly.


One OF the city dentists is put down in
the directory as dealer in molasses Pos
sibly because he produces sorghum.-Nor-
a0ich Bulletin. .=
A West Albany man has invented a Sim
pie device called the '' Hog Bouneer.o It is
SAID to be invaluable to the proprietors of
free lunch stablishments--N.Y 7. tom.
These are the cholera mixture days, when
the unripe watermelon makes it yearly VS.
itation, and seems to forget that a mans
stomach isn't ballroom. .--Brooklgn Argus
What kind of a carpet shall we get for
the parsons study ?' asked church COM
mittee-man of his colleague. SAX minis
ter was the comprehensive reply.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Uncle Dan'l Drew never claimed his pen
sion of eight dollars a month as a soldier Of
the war of 1912. He will need it now,
probably. Patriotism generally pays soon
er Or later.-RocAester Chronicle.
"A building in Philadelphia, occupied
by thirty Eight lawyers, took fire on the
the roof the other day from spontaneous
combustion. Isn't this q hint for insurance
companies to act upon?
Statistics show that thus far in this Gen.
tennial year two boys have been born to
every girl, and very fine article Of boy in
every instance, too. Does this mean an
other war Or merely less talk ?-Rochester
Chronicle.
Did you ever have ten-pound cobble
stone in the heel of your stocking? If you
have you can just imagine something of the
enjoyment of getting a raspberry seed
wedged underneath the plate of your false
teeth Whitehall Times.
Don Carlos, the distinguished fugitive
from Spanish justice, has been in Wash
ington the last few days, and he says he
can tell this great and glorious country,
from tho number of empty bottles lying
around.-Brooklyn Argus.
The Z" Danbury News Mans" new lee
ture is entitled Z" England Throu gh Back
Window" For the sake of the profession
we trust it will explain whether he was
there after cold victuals or merely to kiss
the cook.-NoraoscA Bulletin.
Says the Couraer-JouraaaI: Grants
friends are beginning to doubt that it is
quite safe to keep him longer in comms>=:
of their party ship. They have an idea
that he has deposited q ten-gallon can Of
nitro-glycerine in the hold and is throwing
bricks at it"
A born chiropodist-The boy who is al
ways at the foot of his class.-Com. Ado.
By the same rule we suppose a boy who is
always at the head of his class is born
barber.-Bostoas Conn., Bulletin. Yes, you'll
find just such little shavers in every school.
Com. Ado.
We saw a mosquito work about ten min
utes, yesterday, trying to get his bill, through
the skin of man who owes us two years.
subscriptions. How we laughed at that
demoralized little insect as, with a look Of
disgust, he folded up bis little bill, placed
it in his pocket, and went for another vic
tim Whitehall Times.
French Strategy with Stage Robbers.
When the French were in Mexico the
stage robberies in the vicinity of Monterey
became almost as frequent as they are
getting between here and Kingbury. With
the practical common sense for which the
French were distinguished when they 60
about killing people, the French general at
Monterey devised plan which worked
like a charm. He picked ont half dozen
of his smallest Zouaves and dressed them
up as females and put them in the stage.
Each unprotected female had short
breech- loading carbine concealed under his
pettipants, and they covered their demure
faces by wells. Of course the robbers sur
rounded the stage, and the ladies, with an
excess of feminine modesty, climbed out
of the vehicle and fell into line with the
rest of the passengers, when of a sudden
an epidemic broke out among those Mexi-
can patriots, for each lady, on an average,
destroyed about three of them, and the
rest lost all taste for female society and
went away disgusted. The ladies returned
to town in high glee, but for long time
the Mexican bandits entertained such
lofty veneration for the gentler sex that an
old bonnet or shawl displayed conspicuously
in stage secured it's immunity from inter-
rupt1on.