Connecticut western news., 1876-12-01
The Sleepy Church Goer.

The other day MT. Bellamy read in a religious paper the following paragraph:
 "Many very good people are annoyed by sleepiness ill church. The following remedy is recommended Lift the foot seven inches from the floor, and hold it
 in suspense without support for the limb, and repeat tho remedy if the iat- tack returns" a.... .-..., ,rr,..-.. ..
 Now, MT. Bellamy is a very good
 man, and he Is subject to that very annoyance, which ill bis case amounts to positive affiiction. So he cut that paragraph out, in accordance with the appended instruction, end pasted it in his hat, and was rejoiced in his inmost soul to think that he had found a relief from his annoyance. He hoped that Deacon Ashbury, who had drowned at him so often and so dreadfully for nod ding, hadn't seen the paragraph, for the deacon sometimes slept under the preach ed word, and MT. Bellnmy wanted to get even with him. Sunday morning found the good man in his accustomed place, devout and drowsy as ever. The church was very comfortably filled with ap attentive congregation, and MT. Bel lamy was soon cornered up in one end of the pew, and the strange young lady who sat next him was attended by 8 very small white dog, that looked like Q roll of cotton batting with red eyes and 8 black noso. The opening exercises passed of without incident, and the minister hadn't got to secondly when MT. Bellan1y suddenly reused himself with start from doze into which he was dropping. His heart fairly stood still as he thought how nearly he had forgotten his recipe. He feared to at tract any attention to himself, lest his precious method should be discovered, and slowly lifted his left foot from the footstool and h ,ld it about seven inches in the air. As he raised his foot the strange young lady shrunk away from him in evident alarm. This annoyed MT. Bellamy, and disconnected him so that he was on the point of lowering his foot and whispering an explanation, when the dog, which had been quietly sleeping by the footstool, opened it's eyee, and seeing the uplifted foot slowly descending in it's direction. hastily scrambled to it's feet and backed away, barking and yelling terrifically. The young lady, now thoroughly alarmed, jerked her feet from off the footstool, which immediately flew up under the weight of MT. Bellamy's foot, and the dog, excited by this additional catas- trophe, fairly parked itself into convul- sions. Deacon Ashbury, awakened by the racket, came tiptoeing and frowning down the aisle, bending his shaggy brows upon MT. Bellamy, who actually believed that if he got much hotter he would break out in flames that not even the beaded precipitation that was stand ing out on his scarlet face could ex- tinguish. The young lady rose to leave the pew, MT. Bellamy rose to explain, and, as he did so, she was quite convinced of what she had before been suspicious, that he was crazy. She backed out of the pew and sought Deacon Ashbury's protection. MT. Bellamy attempted to whisper an explanation to the deacon, but that austere official motioned him back into his seat, and, as the minister paused until the interruption should cease, said in a severe undertone that was heard all over the church:
 "You've been dreaming again, Bro- ther Bellamy."
 MT. Bellamy sunk into his seat, quite covered with confusion as with @ couple of garments and bed quilt, and his un- happiness was greatly aggravated, when u0 lOOk6U up 1utO tuS SA1OAAs auu NShW Driscoll convulsed with merriment, stuffing his handkerchief into his mouth and shaking with suppressed laughter.
 After service MT. Bellamy, who was, all through the service, the center of at- traction for tho entire congregation, waited for his pastor and made one more effort to explain his unfortunats esca- pade. But the minister, whose SC mon had been quite spoiled by the affair, waved him to silence and said, quite coidly
 "Nc~er mind, Brother Bellsmy; don't apologize you meant very we'll, dare say, but if you make so much disturb ance when you are awake, believe would prefer to have you sleep quietly throuoh eyerv sermon I preach