The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1876-06-12
GEORGE SKINNER, GENERAL
MANAGER"
New Rules for Employees on the Poor
Old Rockford.

Inc reVamped and partially resuSsltated
poor old Rockford road is sadly in want of
rules and regulations of some sort. 1t
has needed them for some time-it shall
not want for them any longer.
At great expense and no end of trouble
we have gotten up the following which,
it not desirable set of rules for all new
roads, may at least serve as an interpreta-
ton of the antics almost daily perpetrated
BY the pseudo Baron s. henchman, 'Old
Skin, ION the poor old ghost OF a road:
WHISTLE SIGNALS.
Seven toots of the whistle denotes that
there is hog on the track. The conduc-
tor will at once go out on the pilot and
interview him. and, unless he is relative
of "Old Skin" proceed to bounce him at
once. If he is relative, the conductor
must give him complete outfit of sheep
clodings" and charge it to incidentals in the
expense account.
A lamp upside down denotes that the
fireman is drunk. The smoke stack up
side down denotes that the engineer is
drunk. An engine upside down denotes
that the whole business has been earnestly
trying to comply with "Old SKINS order
to run her to hell.
NOTICE TO CONDUCTORS, EMPLOYEES, ETC.
All conductors and sellers of coupon
tickets must whack up with the Baron. ]"
This business will be done through 'Old
Skin" La no case must receipt be taken
but a memorandum account may be
kept by each conductor aud, privately re-
ported to the Baron" for, las eternal vigi-
lance is necessary 20 fill the pockets Of
the managers, SO its just as well to know,
you know, what you ought to get as to
know what you do get.
1t an engineer sees cat on the fence,
he must hang his red shirt on the throttle
The fireman will respond by throwing two
chunks of coal.
A hot box when the train is at Mon
mouth or Beardstown, signifies that the
engineer is dry Time will be given to
attend to the matter-but che must make
time if he runs her to hell.
When a baggagemaster runs Gs conduc-
tor he must put on airs-two airs if on a
regular train, and three airs if on an extra
train.
Enginemen must not use the oil can for
whisky except at Monmouth Necessity
knows no law, and they can't get drink
otherwise.
The uniform of conductors shall hereaf-
ter consist OF a seamless sack, the mouth
to be strapped around the neck like a
mail bag. The conductor shall have his
hands tied behind him, and wear gag in
his mouth. He shall carry an iron safe on
his back, the key of which shall be kept
at Frankfort. When ten cent fares are
paid on the train the passengers shall be
charged one dollar. The ten cents may
be recovered, but the dollar goes to the
Baron" or to the Bondholders, whichever
is the smartest.
| The passenger must punch his owl
ticket and put it in the safe. He shall
then tell the conductor whera he was borr
and where he expects to die when he goe:
to. If the conductor is sassy he will alst
be punched.
The pouch must be carried over tn,
left hip and the punch on the third fngel
of the right hand, with the handle at al
angle of forty FIVE degrees ANY devia
ton will be cause for summary dismissal.
/ At the end of every trip the conductor
must make written report of the numbe
of cars, number, color, and age Of passen
gers. together with any accidents death
or births which may have occurred.
On arriving at the end of his route tn
conductor shall be stripped and searche,
with a tooth-pick, nail brush, and fin
comb to see that he has no tickets con
cealed about him.
Every employee is subject to REMOVAL
no one will be permitted to resign-as tn
general manager never resigns The onl
way to get rid of him is to lock him out, O
. they did at Louisville.
NOTICE TO PASSENGERS.
Passengers with accident insurance pol
q cies will be charged double, as no refe,
tons, express or implied, will be permitted
Passengers without accident insuranc
i will either stay at home or go the othe
: road
e Passengers with one bottle of whisk
may ride with the conductor in the bal
gage car Free IF they have two bottle
: and some cigars they may ride just whel
they please, and come in on the divic
q with the conductor Such division sha
r be made by their making alternate cole
- tons.
=. ATTENTION TO LADY PASSENGERS
The conductor will attend to the cor
y fort of all good looking lady passenger
y every other week excepted, when the ma
II agent Will do it up Broacn.
It MAINTENANCE OF WAY, &C.
r To each subdivision of ten miles thel
i shall be one laborer, two foremen, thr,
supervisors and four assistant engineer
. Each of these shall have two clerks.
= The supervisors must make daily inspe
ton of the track This can usually
done best from the smoking car of pa
senger traiD-a Ia Sargent.
Foremen must visit their sections
l. least once week, unless they are We
d busy at home.
a They must make up the road bed, wal
the face of the track, comb the heads
the spikes, battle the joints of the rails, al
r put a plaster on all cuts every day.
al They must, before each annual inspe
, ton, have the road swept, the ends of q
ties sand papered, the faces of all emban
= ments shaved, AMI the fences aud tel
Il graph poles whitewashed.
= Policing must be rigidly enforced. A
N rest any laborer who takes switch for /
d wite's back hair, or uses frog for fiji
bait. If a man don't want to shovel
A him take his pick.
# For repairing the track. select the tin
: when most trains are DUE Stop work
. thirty minutes before and after the arriy
a of each train. Better sacrifice your oy
. time than the lives of the company's er
% ployes.
10 If a bridge is to be put in at Bri
- Bluffs take an Anger along, and have Q
.. Skin sit on pile of ties and smoke, a
is let the section men put it in when tn
70 get ready.
re POLICE COURT.