The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1876-02-02

nands, and shielded her just in time to
receive the full blast, himself, burning
his head, neck, and hands almost to 2
crisp. The nose, ears, eyes, lips, and flesh
of the face were 60 completely cooked
that old Zach embraced the opnortun;tv
and murmured through his biistered Inns.
Bring on your cannibals. I'm cooked
Aphysician was Immediately sent for.
who, after few moments examination
shook his head in the most unhonefni
manner. With . fortitude which char.
acterizes MIR: Chandler to this dav. he
submitted to the examination, and At the
close demanded to know the worst. The
physician, DR.. Clark, wisely endeayored
to postpone the giving of his opinion I'M.
til the next day; but Mr.. Chandler insist.
ing, the Doctor reluctantly answered his
questions.
"Wel'. Doctor, my nose feels bad. How
about it's
*Mr, Chandler, you'll lose your nose.'
And my ears. suppose, too!''
II am sorry to say, yes; they are
completely cooked through
my forehead. How about that!''
'tWeif1 don't see how the skin Will
ever grow there again.
my lips!''
THE upper lip. Mr., Chandler, shall
have to take completely off,"
"That's bad for man to lose his upper
lip. Won't the lower one do!''
IL am sorry to say shall have to re-
move portion of that also.
'Eh! Well 90 on
''There, that will do. I'll know better
in the morning.
"You can't leave me until I know all,
Go on. doctor, any thing else!''
The doctor hesitated.
"Go on doctor. My eyes!''
"Your eyes p
Eyes. Go on.''
mi. Ghandler, you will lose the sight
of both eyes,
THAT'S enough, doctor you can 60
now.''
Nearly year passed before Zachsriah
Chandler was seen on the streets of De-
troit again. No one could recognize
him except by his voice and his immense
frame. His face once round, full, and
muscular, was shriveled and muscleless,
His heavy jaw, indicative of his frmness
of purpose, was without shred of flesh.
And, as he remarked himself, "He was
the most thin.skinned man in the whole
Northwest
Such is the history and reason of his
red face and crooked splitting, which too
many Anticipated journalists stamp IS
the outward and visible sign of a spirit.
ual awakening inside. Such is the his
tory of face which DISCUSSES the man Of
whose entrance to the cabinet you all
howled like Dervishes-a face only saved
by the very incest skill of surgery-a
face wearing sad change, Redeemed and
muscleless. incurred to save the pet of the
household.
You have never seen Zach Chandler de-
ny anything that the newspapers might
say of him, and many unbeatable things
have they been. When his appointment
to the portfolio of the Interior Depart.
ment was announced, all Scoldom yelled
with its forty;jackass power. The New
York Times, an administration paper,
with its usual weak smartness, said it
didn't know what che was good for I'M
less to sit up with nights Every staff
on every New York Journal was search.
ing for its meanest and most sarcastic
writer, that something worthy of the oc-
casion and man might be said. The lead
ers on his appointment reekcd with the
slimiest adjectives, but were as free from
facts as Philadelphia medical diploma.
A reaction has. however, taken place,
and instead of the senseless ridicule there
is shamed silence or open condemnation.
I predict that Zach Chandler will make
the best Secretary Of the Interior that the
country has had since the foundation Of
the government.