The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1876-12-01
Am Hour at the Central sta
IhOn Court.
Detroit Free Press,

1hOn Court.
Detroit Free Press.
When the first reporter softly slid
into the station-house Bijah had a
lot of small change on u chair be-
fore hun, and was saying.
What / want now is to get some
bets on the election
d" He had laid out tie following pro-
gramme:
First-Nine cents that it rains on
election day.
Second-fifteen cents that the
man who challenges nay vote will
get hurt.
Third-Ten cents that it will be a
close shave.
Fourth-The same cum that
vote the straight ticket, and that l
boiler as long and as often as any
of the miserable opposition.
THE RAMPARTs OF LIBERTY.
'All that want is that facts be
told and sworn to- remarked Isaac
Waters as the bell tolled him out.
Il am a stranger in the middle of
strangers, but suppose Michigan
law is the same as any other kind
of law
Just the same, except Chicago
law, replied the court. in the first
place we look for facts: Then swear
to 'em. Then we take q prisoners
character aud demsanor into con-
sideration. If found innocent he is
sent away with a new pair of Arc
tic oVershoes on if proven guilty,
we drop a tear over his badness and
put him behind the iron bars
Hand me the overshoes, for I'm
as innocent as an unborn granger
remarked Mr.. Waters.
Softly, softly though, stranger
whispered his Honor. 'Let's have
some statements, q little swearing,
and decide this case only after ma
ture deliheration. The officer will
now loom up before the desk and
give in his testimony
1t was bad testimony for Waters,
Wh0 got drunk on Michigan ave-
nue., was kicked out of a saloon, and
staggered down Third street, up
setting children, abusing pedestri-
ans, and throwing mud at q man
who had q standing collar on.
Now bring on your rebuttiDg ev-
i6snOe,' said the court when the
statement had been finished.
Are there no ramparts of liberty
in this State p asked the prisoner.
Heaps of 'em sir. You can't
turn a corner in this town without
punching q Goddess of Liberty in
the ribs with your elbow. The
| American eagle learned to scream
in Detroit, and Detroit to-day yelis
loudest when the name Of George
Washington comes in by the after
noon mail. Has liberty anything
to do with your red eyes and spree
full look?'
Il want a trial according to liber-
typ exclaimed Mr.. Waters.
You had it. You were drunk,
ugly and impudent, and L fine you
Ave dollars
Il call upon the Constitution Of
the United States to protect me !!
shouted the prisoner.
State rights are a neck ahead I
slowly remarked Biiah, and he fast.
ened bis graphing irons on the
mans collar and hauled him out o.
the sunshine.
| A WAGER.
SHiram Stalk, l learn that YOU
were meandering around last nigh
to geta bet On election, aud tnal
you hit q man on the nose because
he wouldn't accept your PROPOSE.
tion. Il this so?
"A Teller called me a decantel
on wheels and 1 had to hit hun,
was the reply.
well, sir, I'll make a wager will
you. I'll bet two to one that yot
go up for thirty days.
sd like to bet on your side.
hnmbly whispered the prisoner, anc
he followed Bijah in the corridoi
and complained of a pain across
his majestic brow.
IN THE LONG AGO.
'Ah, we'll do remember sighed
the court as the next man passed
out, when you were q constable il
the Third ward, wore q velvet coat
carried a cane, and was looked up
on as q high-jinx, hoop-la, tip-toI
sort of man. Men respected YOU
and you could have got trusted fo
. small amount at any grocery il
the town. Those days have fed
J The sparkling diamond of the pas
has become an old joint of steve
pipe thrown into the alley for COW
to nibble at and wonder which emf
the grass grows on. 1t makes m,
sad to remember what you were
And HOvv ace Whak van ara