The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1876-11-09
WHOLE NO. 1894.
Miscellaneous

AmAi potntoFAs hntu ono ot Ahcms wv
We are sweet ones."
ofA picture Of Moses In the buirushea.
where Miss Pharaoh seems % be ''leav-
ing him TO bs drowned" the Pbiladel.
phia Bulletin wants n know whether "a
ia waier euler or Nile painting"
That's our family tree" said an Ar.
kansas youth. a. be pointed 70 viFor-
Gus hemloek. and added. "A good ma.
ny OF our folks have been hung on that
tree. for borrerin' hosses after dark"
An Englishman was recently boastinE
10 Bo.tonian that they bad . book in
the British Museum which vas once
Owned by Cicero ~Ohi that amt moth.
in. replied the Bo.tonian. In tho mu.
scum IN our city We have got the lead
pencil that Noah used 10 check OF the
animals a. they went into the ark"
Rasiio-GoOd bye. Betty. We bees go
| ing Tor good
Bctty-Thsn mind thee don't miss the
way. IL be the furst time thes's ever
been on that road. I'm thinkin'f'
A sick man in New Orleans was told
by the doctor that nothing would save
him excerpt quart OF catnip tea Thea
| mus. de" sa'd the poor man, FOR
don't hold but pint"
A Negro Msthodists idea Of Minisleri-
al qualifications. DE new preacher 10
mo larnt dan Mistuh Boleg vs.. Bat
Lor' bless ye. sah. he hFin't got de dole
lul sound like Miatuh Boles had. No.
indeedyf'
"lf you can't keep awake. said par
son 20 one Of bic hearers, "when you are
drowsy, why don't you take q pinch Of
suunY Il think. was the shrewd re-
ply. "ths snuff should be put into the
sermon"
/ froLi bis vile who had deserted him on
account Of his poverty. was asked By bis
LAWYER " 10 was q ea-e Of incompAtibility.
mo" said Pat 10 was a case OF want Of
income Pat ability"
"well. my dear" said oar good pastor
at Sunday School 10 a tow head urchin,
Il am glad 10 hear you are getting 10 be
a better boy" why, cir" said little
Joe. looking up with grave carnestneas.
Gosh. amt been sick."
A very modest young lady. Who want
cd pair Of gartsrs. addressed the shop
man thus "It ia my desire 10 obtain q
pair Of circular elastic appendages. capa-
bic Of being expanded OF contracted By
means Of oscillstins Furnished steel ap-
planes. that sparkle like particles of
gold Leaf set with Alaska diamonds. and
which are utilized Tor retaining In prop
er position the habilimcnt Of The iowsr
~xtrrmitir.. which innate dclicacy fo.-
bids me 10 mention"
A gentleman, dining with a friend one
day. was struck with the efrnestnets
with which one Of tae little girls regard
"a him. lie. therefore. took he upon
his knee and began talking with hsr.
Please. sir." said she. presently. tell
me what's In the house next door TO
yours. Id like 10 see H." Tell t4c. my
little dear. why you wish 10 knowF be
cause. sir. I heard Mamma say that you
we're next door 10 brute"
You see. said Uncle Job. my wife 10
curious woman. She scrimpcd and saw
I'd aud almost starved al OF us 10 get
the parlor furnished nice. and nov she
wont Jet one Of us 20 into u. and hain't
even had the window blinds Of ID opan
Tor . montn. She IL q curious woman"
The modern child is pretty quizzioai.
This time che lives in 81 Louis aud reads
her Bible with thou tfulneaa. bat mAaea
her own commentary. did they take
piece right oIt Of Adam 10 make biz
wifef' YES. darling" What right
cut Of himi And wasn't he always sick.
" aiterwafdf'
The acute and quiekwitted Rev. Lem.
A AZ A
years ago throughout New England,
Eas once saucily aocosled By an impu.
dent trifrr with the question;
NJ. Haynes, how old do you suppose
the Devil isY
"YoI met keep your own family rec.
ord, was the immediate response.
II boys Of Detroit seem 10 be going
down hill In their morals Of late. On
Sunday one Of the legion. who has always
bren noted Tor bis respectful demeanor
toward the great public. observed aa old
citiErn yawuinF aud gaping on a street
corner. aud said Co him; Better not
open your mouth too wide" "whyT'
was the surprised query. There's Law
aTin opening a saloon on Sunday" con-
tinued the sinful child. as be slid for the
middle Of the street
Little Johnny has peculiar views a. 10
original sin. One day he was about 10
be punished for some misdemeanor when
he pleaded. III wasn't me. Mamma
dear IL was the bal man" "well,
johnny. I'm going 20 whip the bad man
out OF you" "Ah, ycs, but thatli hurt
me precious lot more than Il will the
bad man
colored preacher In a Methodist
church near Durhamville. Tenn. thus
addressed the people al the close Of
meeting Yves Toin To open DO door OBJ
lie church but we's liball Ef any Of
you wants 20 jine de Bsptis' or Prisbete-
rlans. 80 jine 'em. we'a iib'all Jine
whatever church you please. But de
door is open here ~ env Of you wants
To be- immersed. I kin do u jes "a veil "a
rny Baptis preechsr. Bot weis lib'all.
SO come long an jine de church. What
YOU settin' dar for7 ! know what you
Rwine 10 do. You'se = Fwine up 10 Dur.
hamville an jine dat Baptis church.
Darll be blood bout dis thing yit'
That's where the boys 80 for college"
said the professor TO Mrs. Partington,
pointing 10 = school house
Did thsy7' sid the old lady. with an
imation Then. II they &c Tor college
b..ior~ they went. they didn't Sight after.
wardY
Yes" said he smiling and favoring
the eoncsit. but the fight wAs with the
head. not with the hands"
"Butted. did thcyT sAid the old lady.
when the people of Newport were
mad. hannY hr NJ Nnrman.a offer 20