South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1876-12-15

'"SA' w. pour luln I! anu what are
they going to hang him forpo "Sheep
stealing, sir" Tut, tut poor, stupid
man Why did he not buy them and
never pay for them?'
NEWSPAPER BoRRowEEs.-Time -
Saturday morning. 8 o'clock. Scene
breakfast table; C rap is herd at the
door, and the newspaper is for a few
moments open before the fire. "Come.
John, it won't do to dry it too long, for
see neighbor Shocks is sending his
son after it,
Another rap at the door.
Father wants to know if YOU will inst
lend him the newspaper five min utes
if YOU amt done with it he will send it
right back. lie only wants to see if the
brig Star has been heard from, what our
Tom went in"
Tell your father the brig is not re.
ported"
Home he trips, and speedily he re.
turns.
"Nlother wants to know who was bu.
ried yesterday; can't you lend it to her
just two minutes?"
Tell your mother that all the deaths
this week are Mr.. -, and child of
Dir. -"
In Few moments another rap.
Sister Susan wants to know if any,
body is married this week, and Uncle
Josh wants TO know what the news is
from KY. and Aunt Shocks wants to
know if there is any more pretty stories
about that Jarvis woman: if Won can't
spare the paper, why can't you just
write down what there is, just cause /
don't want to keep running back and
forward So"
"Herc, my lad, take this paper to your
father, and around to all your uncles
and aunts. and have it back, whatever
Is left OF it, next Saturday morning at
eight o'clock precisely. when you come
to borrow the next.
Ten applications on Saturday bv Dor
rowers, all sent to neighbor Shocks
with particular caution to return il
there when done with it, Monday morn.
ing rap at the door, and the boy with
the paper is ushered in. Mother saws II
Is too much plague to keep the paper
all the week, people keep coming arter
it So"
EV'A little boy had been sent to dry
anapkin before the nursery fire. "Msm.
ma, is it done when it is brown" he
inquired
E1'"Why don't your father take a
newspaper" said gentleman to little
urchin whom he caught in the act of pill.
ferng one from his doorstep. Cause
he sends me to take it, was The reply.
IN Ma" inquired boy Of tender
years, who was slowly riding home on
street-car the other day, don't the
Bible say that the Creator made all
creeping things?" Eyes, my son. re.
piled the mother, with due solemnity.-
The boy rode thoughtfully on few
rods, and then suddenly exclaimed. in
earnest tones: Say, ma, did he make
streetcars?"
EFA AS the Bishop OF Exeter was
standing in the congregation lately and
singing with all his might, sailor thrust
his elbow into the Doctors ribs and re-
marked loudly; II say Governor, you're
singing out Of tune"
IV' Hunting parties: Mothers with
daughters TO marry.
EY'"I'm illicted unanimus-only siy.
inty.siven votes agin me" wrote n sue.
cessiul Irish candidate in Trenton the
other day TO his brother in New York.
ET"If we arc TO live after death
why don't we have some knowledge Of
it?" said skeptic to a clergyman. e.
why diden't you have some knowledge
of this world before you came into it?"
was the caustic retort
II An lrishman, one dav, on finding
blanket told his wife Of his good for.
tune, and went on 90 say that "larnin
was foine thing" "Yis,' he said. "and
begorra the blanket he'd me name on il
u. for Patrick and $. for McCarty.
Yes, begorra, larnin is moigbty f2ine
thing"
IVA combination.iocl the marriage
csrslnony