The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1876-11-10
VARIETIES.

They have sensible law in New York
which imposes penalty of So and costs and
five to ten days Imprisonment upon persons
who jump on or off trains while the latter il
in motion.
"A correspondent asks us what portion
of the ear is called the "lobe." 1t is the
portion which your parent used to firmly
grasp when he led you to gaze upon the
handsome proportions of the untouched
woodpile.
oil of cinnamon will cause the disap-
pearance of warts, however hard, large or
dense they may be. The application gives
rise to neither pain nor suppuration. A
writer says: removed thirty off my hand
with five cents worth of the oil.
The Time.-A minister in one of his
parochial visits met cowboy, and asked
him what o'clock it was. "About twelve,
sir" was the reply. SWELL" remarked the
minister, 81 thought it was more" sits
never more here" said the boy !" it just be-
gins at one again."
Well Recommended.-"Y come well
recommended, suppose ?" said gentle
man to boy who wanted an easy situa-
ton. "Oh, yes, sir. The gentleman l was
with last recommended me-he recommen-
ded me to leave, and get work more con.
genial to my disposition"
Says the Danbury Me,cs: "This is
not only an exciting, but very interest
ing, political campaign. Women as well
as men have q duty to perform to their
country, and they should not shrink from
1T. They cannot vote or appear in process
sions, but they can cut wood and bring up
the coal, and thus leave the men more time
to talk up matters
An Omaha girl recently married man
whose features were nearly obscured by a
heavy growth of whiskers. "Now," said
she, at the conclusion of the marriage cere-
mony, "my first anxiety is to get that hair
OIL your face, so that can see who you
look like. I've married a pig in poke,
so far as your features are concerned -
The barber had call that day.
-Unsolyed Problem-All the great
problems ofnature are not yet solved. One
OF the most interesting is how a woman
can hold her mouth full of hairpins while
she IS doing up her back hair, and at the
same time impart TO her husband exact
and valuable information in loud voice
concerning the undesirability of his drop
ping his cigar ash on the carpet.
Mr.. Signbee, you said the defendant
was in love--how do you know that 2"
"He reads book upside down, and
writes poetry in his day book when it
should be cheese"
ANY other reason ?"
eyes, sir; he shaves without lather, and
very frequently mistakes the sleeves of his
coat for the legs of his pantaloons, an error
that he don't discover till he tries to fasten
the tails to his suspenders."
"a clear case--call the next witness"
When the Committee of the French
Academy were employed in preparing the
well-known Academy Dictionary, Cuvier,
the celebrated naturalist, came one day
into the room where they were holding a
session. Glad to see you, NJ. Cuvier,n
SAID one OF the forty; we have just de.
clded definition which we think satisfac.
tory, but on which VIC should like to have
your opinion. We have been defining the
word "crab,' and have explained it thus
-" Crab" small red fish, which walks
backwards" Perfect, gentlemen" said
Cuvier; "only if you will give me leave,
VIII makeaae small observation in natur-
al history. The crab is not fish, it is not
RED, and 1t does not walk backwards
with these exceptions, your definition is
excellent. y Lu6lin Times.