davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13
A Talking Bear.

A yENTRILoQUIsT having arrived IN
Hopefeld, England, and being at the
Red Lion, beheld from the window iu-
dicrous scene. A Snowman ana his bear
were in view of his window, and he, nav
ing formed an opinion Of the ignorance
and credulity of the inhabitants, resolved
to amuse himself at the expense OF the
Snowman, lett the window, and, joining
the assemblage of spectators, approached
him
"Your bear can doubtless speak?" said
he, in serious air.
The Snowman looked at him cunning
ly, shrugged his shoulders, and answered,
roughly, "Speak to him yourself, and you
will then find out"
This was just what the ventriloquist ex-
pected. He approached Bruin, and, as
suming a most comical expression, said
to the bear, in droll tone of voice:
"Allow me to compliment you, Mr.
Bruin, you are as graceful as an opera
dancer. What country claims the honor
of your birth?'
A voice, which seemed to issue from the
grisly jaws of the bear, replied:
"The Alps, in Switzerlandm
The establishment of the crowd was
amusing, but the amazement of the show
man would have offered an admirable sub
iect for the pencil of Hogarth His black,
lustrous eyes seemed staring from their
sockets; he stretched wide his toothless
mouth and remained aghast and motion
he stood.
The ventriloquist turned toward him
and said
Your bear speaks very good English,
and has very little remaining of the Hell
veto accent"
Then, turning to Bruin, he observed, in
a kind tone
You look sad are you not welI?"
"The fogs of England have given me
the spleen, - replied the animal.
How long time have you been with
this master?''
"Quite long enough to be tired of him."
Is he not kind to you, Bruin?'
90, yes, as kind as the hammer is TO
anvil"
Will you not seek revenge some day?"
Assuredly. One Of these mornings l
will eat him like radish for my break
fastr'
At these words the crowd suddenly fell
back on each other, and great was the
confusion that ensued. The Snowman
had heard enough, and forcibly drew the
chain of the animal to enforce his con-
troll, but the wearied bear only growled
terribly.
The ventriloquist, perfectly satisfied by
the experiment, turned suddenly about
and hurried toward the tavern This
augmented still more the fear of the spec
tators, and each one took to his heels as if
the bear were in pursuit of him. The
ventriloquist laughed heartily to see the
effect he had produced, and the poor
Snowman, with Bruin, was now consult
ing whether he had not in future better
give him his freedom, lest the promise he
had made in answer to the inquiry of the
ventriloquist might prove true at some
early hour
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13
The Mysterious Smoke in Florida

OF the wonderful secrets of nature that
Florida can boast Of possessing in her
limits, there is one in this county upon
which the eye of mortal has not yet been
permitted to gaze. For more than thirty
years its existence has been tantalizingly
proclaimed by cloud of smoke that has
increasingly assembled, frequently chang
ing from q light to a dark shade, from
an impenetrable swamp some twenty-five
miles from Monticello, and in the direc-
ton from the guilt coast, from which
point this 'splllar OF cloud" is also visible.
Learned gentlemen, after viewing the
landscape o'er' for many years and from
various points, have made frequent and
persistent efforts to solve this long stand
ing and perplexing mystery. But up to
this time nothing has been accomplished
beyond unsuccessful attempts to reach the
place, all of which endeu in disaster
within four or five miles of the spot on
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

Mr.. J. W. MCINTOSH, of Portland, Me-,
writes: 81 have found no soap equal to
your Forest Tar Soap for shaving. Since
using it my face has been perfectly free from
pimply eruptions and the disagreeable irri-
tation that always come after shaving. L
also like it for shampooing better than any
thing ever tried. know several who are
using it, end all agree that it is unequaled
as shaving soap" Ask your Druggist for
it, or send 50 cents to The Forest Tar Co.,
Portland Me-. for a cake.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13
Broom Corn Culture.

We have a good many inquiries about
the culture of broom corn, and having
had little experience with that crop, we
give brief answer, but more for the pur-
pose of calling out the more extended
experience of others than for the value of
our own.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

PERsoNAL.-John W. Hollis, Montezsnma,
Tenn, Hoy IS, 1S70.-"I have been using
SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR, and it has
proved to be the best medicine in my case
that I ever saw. We believe it to be one of
the best medicines in the universe"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

LIFE would be uncomfortable to some
people if there were not editors to find
fault with. \
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

ASK your druggist for I" DIR. Sykes Sure Cure
for Catarrh," or send Ten Cents to DR.. c. r.
Sykes, 1859 E. Madison st. Chicago, III.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

FURNITURE is sold by Holton & Hildretb
house in the West. Goods are first-class.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13
New EngIanders al The West.

THE PORTLAND TRANSCRIPT, a large
L literary and news weekly, published a. Portland.
Maine wide circulation at the " est among New
England people, who find in it the news and gossip OF
their former homes. as well as stories, skeJches'
household hints letters from abroad poems ana Otl-
matters usually found in first-class literary week
ly. only g year. in advance, postage pad; ;! lor
six months The chrome Among the Daisies, I<AIo:
or pair of smaller chrom.s. Delight ana AIarlH.
sent by mail to any who pay year IN advance anu
who send 10 cents extra to cover expense Of nlalhS
Try it. Send stamp for specimen copy. AqdTess
ELWELL PICKARD & CO.. Portland. Maine
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

Keep cheese in cool dry place, and
after it is cut, wrap it in a linen cloth,
and keep it in a tight tin box.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

THE largest Vinegar Works in the world
are in Chicago. E. L. Prussing & Co., Props.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13
HEALTHFUL AND ELIGIBLE HOMES
In a Pleasant Climate.

Good opening for Capitalists, Manufacturers, Miners,
AgrcutrdiisS and others. request, by postal card,
addressed to Hon. w. Moody, Tuscaloosa, Alabama,
will secure pamphlet OF reliable information free.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13
NAKPENTERs, Manual.-A practical 2

CARPENTERS Manual.-A practical guide to
y all operations of the trade drawing for carpen-
ters forms of contracts. specifications plans. etc, H.
Illustrated. 50 cts. PAINTERS Manual.-HOuse
and sign painting, granting vanishing, polishing,
kalsominng, paPering, lettering staining. gliding
ments. 81. MATCHMAKER and Jeweler, So Soapmaker,
25 TaXidermist, 80. Hunter ana Trappers Guide, 90
Dog-Training D. Improvement of Memory 10. Guide
to Authorship 80. Lightning Calculator, 3 Horse,
sheer, 25 RogIes and Rogueries of Y. Y, 25. OF
booksellers or by mail. JESSE HANEY CO., 11s
Nassau ST N
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

FENO SAVE MONEY. avoid annoyance and learn
some of the shortcuts" il travelling and sght-see
Ing, read Hints for the Centennial" Practical sug
gestiOns and information. True economy for every
one expecting attend the Exposition TO buy it. Get
it now to help mature plans. BY mail 80 cents Circu
ar free KIMBALL & CO.. Box 1884. New Orleans
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1876-04-13

EsEs Your Name Elegantly Print
sssEGIY ed 70 TRANSPARENT VISITING
nHzf@4~ CARDS ior Is Cents. Each card.contains
invisible until held towards the light Nothing like
them ever before offered in America Big inducements 70
Agents. NOVELTY PRINTING WORKS, Ashland, Mass
, 1876-04-22
Composition hay.
BY MARGAhET Il. sASosTER.
From the Christian ut Work."

Elsie Vernon dreaded the weekly compo-
siton day. The subject might be ever so
simple md familiar, yet the moment it was
named she felt that she knew nothing about
it. She would write at the top of her sheet,
The Pleasures of Winter" and then stare
at the words, as though in her ten winters
she had never experienced Il single pleasure.
Yet the twenty four lines must be ground
ont somehow, fairly copied, with exactly
two inches left for mnrginson the left hand
side of the paper, and Elsie Vernon
signed ut the conclusion.
Anything more stlted, mechanical, aud
lacking in originality than Esie's compost
tions I cannot imagine, At last she de
ci'led to give up in despair, and he known
ms the scholar who could not write. Her
teachers felt in their hearts tlmt it was the
hest thing she could do, but they did not
like to admit that they had failed to show
her how in the proper way, A good, plain,
matter of fact Auntic looked over Elsie's
shoulder one afternoon. when she was puck.
crng her forehead and biting her pencil in
despair. She saw that Elsie had been one
half hour evolving this sentence on courage,
1T is II very noble quality to have courage,
and all great men possess it."
"Why not write some of your own
thoughts on courage, ElscI" Auntie in
quirch
40, hanev't any"
"Dih YOU ever see one show it ?"
Yes" said Elsie quickly, 81 thought
brother Joe dri Inst summer when he
plunged into the lake, and saved Frank
Fords life, just when he was sinking for the
last time"
"WeIi, write ip your own words de-
scription Of that incident, and then say,
That was my idca of true courage"
"Ah hut would that he real compost
tion, Aunte2 1t would just be n story"
My dear thild," Auntie replied with rare
wisdom; the best compositions, from Ho.
mcr to Shakespeare, have been just such
stories Thy to tell what you have seen in
simple language, and you wil'succced. 1t
is by trying to use style which is not your
own, md by writing aboat what you do not
comprehend, that you have got into SO much
trouble. Now, Twill give you one or two
plain rules:
81. Never write until you know what
the subject means. Ask father. look ints
the dictionary, try any and every way, but
find that out first.
"2. Then say just what you would
about it, rs if you were talking to friend.
"3, Stop the instant your ideas 10,
whether you have written four lines or
forty.
"4, 1t isa good plan 10 read anything
you cur ilNd that tells about your theme.
too days beforehand"
, 1876-04-22

The Times this morning has AN editorial
on the subject of the adventure of the sur.
vivors OF the ship stmthmorc, which con.
Guides: THE vessel which ut length ar.
rived to rescue her was IL United States
whnlcr on her course to the South Sen fish.
cries. Her Captain, we are told, gave up
the chance of the seasons profits for the sake
OF the poor creatures he found ut Croze,s
and who needed nm amount of care they
could not have received ifhc had taken them
with him. We are sure the English nation
will Judge ms it deserves Of the sacrifice to
which Captain Clifford submitted and will
not fail to do honor and something more
than bare honor to the deed of the man.
- LonRoa March 30H.
, 1876-04-22
!Scirtte(l 9urm.
4 Jonathan
From "1hc London Globe"

l sing the Yankee, latest human growth;
A hero seldom stupid, slow or hlt,
Bul of en- ovcr.sharp, or last, or both
\ seli,wiilvd, mauy-titIed democrat.
Squire in New York, aud captain in the West;
\ judge on CNliiora's golden strands
In the sunny South, colonel at the least
But deacon III the true old Yankee land.
A rapid traveller to walk with,
Alike through flowers and thorns bound to
get un
Eosy to trade, or smoke, or drink, or talk with,
But very hand for my one To sit on.
Who storms II battery like an old crusader;
Give, freedom to race some carelcos minute
But woWd buy sutan's Homestead as u trader.
Aud ardenlly aver: "rherc's millions in it,
To whom cQuality's precious gem,
Though sometimes lie may kick Chinese or
darklcs,
And in Lis secret bosom does contcmn
All MISREPRESENTATION tic rank Of marquis.
In Maine who ranks in Calvns tire-proof cuss I;
IN Kansas worsIips God with strapped revolver;
Blythe dances, in New Orleans, attermo
In Brooklyn soGs ii tear DER flowed DISCOVER.
Who thinks schoolhousc Is sacred place,
And education cures all moral phthislcs;
But looks lskuncc ut high scholastic grace,
On Greek nnd Latin, French and metaphysics
IIecdtss whtt charm on painted canvass glows
Indifferent, oft, to srophe and to stNn2a
But listening with loving cars when blow
The western wind from ncwly-fOund bonanza.
Yet who though willing after gold 10 dash
Through SEA and fire, and gloomy, ore. lined
cavern,
Net often boards his hardly gathered CASH
But nobly builds fourteen story tavern.
such Is the subject Of these brief rcmnrks
hwless plous, frec-soucd money maker;
Who his cigur would light at Pluto's sparks,
And then Try buying heaven by the acre,
, 1876-04-22

WATER BOILERS ON SrovEs.-A brass or
copper vessel lined upon the inside, holding
several gallons, is usually found connected
with cooking stoves used in families As
this vessel is kept full of hot water, it is in-
pnrtant that no dclcterious agent connected
with the metal should he employed in its
construction. A recent analysis has been
made of . specimen Of timed brass plate
used for making these boilers, and it was
found that the tin contained 20 per cent of
lend How far this may serve to do injury
its impossible to say. 1t Is certain, however
that lead is an Objectionable metal to be
brought in contact with culinary utensils,
and hence the USE must he condemned. An
iron boiler lined with porcelain would be
much safer, and perhaps not more costly.
We understand that such vessel Is consruc
ted, and If so, it woull certainly he much
safer one to employ ms reservoir OF hot
water for const mt household use.
, 1876-04-22

TOBACCO AND BOYS. 1t is sight altogeth-
cr too frequent to see half grown boys en-
gagged in smoking cigars and pipes often OF
the rankest and strongest kind. Such
should read and ponder upon the following
fact A French physician has investigated
the effect Of smoking on 3S boys, between
the ages Of 0 and Is who were addicted to
to the habit. 81 presented distinct symp-
toms of nicotine poison. In % there were
serious disorder. of the circulation, indiges-
ton, duness OF intellect, and marked
appetite for strong drinks; in three there
WAS heart affection in decided tetcriora-
of blood; in l2 there was frequent epstaxis;
10 had disturbed sleep and four had ulcer
alton of the mucous membrane of the mouth
How many apples did our first parents eat
in the garden OF Elenl-Eyc 5 and Aadm 2.
, 1876-04-22
NO. 15.

Of thy life down yonder; hut thou shalt not
he admitted until thou INST in real earnest
accomplished something"
II should have said that in better words"
thought the critic, but he did not find fault
aloud; and for him, after all, that was some-
thing.
, 1876-04-22
DENTISTRY.

DR.. J. G. GRASSE, DENTIST,
Office in Stone & Bunctt's new bNiling on
Commmcrcial street. All work warranted.
!, nS
, 1876-04-22

Terms OF Subscription.
$500 per arnum in U, s. Coin; $3.50 per aunum in
Currr,lcv INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE,
, 1876-04-22

Our life is buta winters day;
Some only breakfast and away!
Others to dinner stay, and are full fed;
The oldest man but sups and goes to bed
Large Is his debt who fingers through the day
Who goes the soonest has the least to pay.
-QwaI|es.
, 1876-04-22
MaieA oE 1kekneliiAina.
Local n gents.

/. l. .rewctt Seattle for King County.
r o. williams, for Kitsap County.
r. Y whitney, for WhatcOm County,
G. II. ButsrDrd, for Tarurn, Pierce County.
]. h. Bingham for New Tacoma, Pierce County,
nj Martin, for IN inner, W. T.
n T.. Gage, for Slagit CITY, W r.
Henry Oliver FOR Ctr.rtrIh W. r
our arcuts are authorized 10 receipt for all
, ums paid them for llse Of the paper.
, 1876-04-22

TERMS OF COURT,

District Court Third Tuesday Of March, and
Second Tuesday Of November Of each year
Probate Court,
Fourth Monday of JANUARY, April, July and
October Of each year
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-25

reaching the depot he found that he was
left, and was, consequently, COM
PEELED TO await the next train.
He returned to his room,
and was on time for the train, which he
remembers boarding, but subsequent to
that act he has no recollections what
ever of anything. He told Captain
Atkins that he had $40 in money when
he left Columbus, but what he had done
with it, or how he came to Galveston,
he knows nothing whatever. The
clothes he has on, he says, are strange
to him, and where he got them, or by
what means he obtained them, he is in
the most profound Ignorance. Captain
Atkins asked him il he was drinking
man, to which he responded, say
ing that he never drank anything.
He is reported to be fine
looking gentleman, about thirty-1Ne
years of age, well dressed, and bearing
all the indications of a cultured man.
He secured rooms ut a clearinghouse
by aid of Captain Atkins, who sent
telegram to his uncle, living in Thorn-
Vile, OHIO, giving iull account oil his
condition and necessities. Mr.. Jeiter-
son says that he knows of nothing to
which his misfortune can be attributed
except to hereditary predisposition to
insanity in his famlly-one of his uncles
having been similarly affected some
years ago. Information from his rela-
tiYes is expected this morning. he has
wife and three children living in
rhornviIle Ohio Galveston News.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-25
Ohio to Texas Without Knowing 1t.

On last Thursday night MIR. e. s. Jei-
ferson reached this city by the midnight
train. He had no money, and, worse
still for him, no friends or acquaint-
ances in this place. He was directed to
report to the Police Station Tor whatever
attention he might require by some one
to whom he communicated his distress.
He did so, and yesterday morning sought
d private interview with Capt. Atkins,
which resulted substantially in the fol-
lowing disclosure. When he first began
his conversation with the Chief of
Police, he seemed to be greatly de-
pressed, and gave expression to his
feelings in a food of tears. Calming
himself, however, under the kind assur-
ances OF that officer, he communicated
these facts respecting himself:
On the 11th day Of October last he left
his home in Thornville, OHIO, where he
| is engaged in business as merchant,
| and went to Columbus, some ten miles
distant, for the purpose OF purchasing
some goods. He made his purchases
and had them duly shipped, and feeling
badly, went TO his room at the hotet, anu
ordering fire lay down and fell asleep.
When he awoke the hour for the depart
ure of the train had passed, and on
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-25

The Silver World, which halls from
Lake City, HinsdaIe County, Colorado
records an accident by which Thomas
Evans, freighting from Del Norte to Ar
geutum, for j. w. Stewart, went over
The cliff about three miles west of
Argentum. His wagon, loaded whit hree
thousand pounds, and horses went roll
ing and tumbling down the mountain
bringing up six hundred feet below the
road in a confused mass, but, strange to
say, while the horses were terribly
bruised and scratched, they escaped
with no limbs broken, nor was the wag-
on much injured. Evans was pitched
headlong sneer tall of thirty feet,
where, catching his right arm about a
tree he encountered in the descent, his
fall was broken, and he gained his feet,
and after considerable sliding succeed
ed in bringing. up safe thirty feet fur
ther down, The lofty tumbling and
blood-curdling acrobatic teats OF Evans
and his horses would put Robinson to
the blush.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-25
At least, 1 felt that I must know my

At least, felt that 1 must know my
fate.
The twenty-ffth day of September =,
1S-, l shall probably never forget. My
reasons torrememberingit you will fnd
below,
l think it was about O'Clock of
the afternoon OF the aforesaid day that |
found myself seated in the old place be-
side the brook, beneath the old oak tree.
l fancy that Mrs. Biddimugs suspected
or expected something, they read us SO
easily, these women.
/ did not dare TO look at her. l think
my voice trembled when began. ! ad-
dressed her by a name that l had never
used before. 81
"Anna," said I, edo you know that in
the short time have been here, you
have become, as it were, a part of my
happy again until l can call you my
own?' l heard soft sigh which en-
couraged me. Gamma, darling, dearest,
will you be mine, my own WifeT
The next instant she was in my arms E,
and jeremiah, the Nervous Man, was
showering not kisses upon those red, red
lips.
There, l wish l hau nothing more to
say. But must finish my story. My
duty compels me to go on, though the
remainder of my tale contains the most
harrowin horror that ever narrowed the
heart of man. Cold shivers are playing
"hide and seek" up and down my spinal
column while write, aud the perspira-
tion rolls down my face as though it
were q bowling alley.
We were married. OF course we had
a quiet wedding. Anna had few
friends and relatives there, but 1 had
none Of the latter. In fact my relatives
thought it very unkind in me to marry at
all. l don't know but my relatives were
quite right.
The marriage ceremony having been
performed, we were now all in readiness
to start upon our wedding tour. The
carriage was at the door, in fact, when
another carriage drove up the green lane
in not haste. .....
l was sitting in the parlor alone with
my wife; but when she heard the sound
OF carriage wheels she hurried out OF the
room. Under ordinary circumstances
should have followed her, but TO day
was feeling uncommonly nervous, and l
felC that / must keep as quite as possi-
BILE, or should-Well, fly all to pieces,
perhaps.
sat there, hardly daring to think OF
my BTedG ndppluS5Ss lSSGl SuOulu Wdhe
to find it all a dream. heard tootste
approaching the door. A premonition
OF something awful filled my soul and
trembled violently. The door flew open
"a crash followed by cry and thsn a
general rush--six small voices crying
"Papal" Twelve little arms around me.
in my hair, pulling my whiskers. around
my neck; and all the time those six
voices shouting "Papaw with all the
power of six pairs of lungs; and over all,
my new-made wife looking on with
smiling countenance. WHAT fix for
nervous mani think was wild. tore
myself away from them and confronted
my wife.
"Womanw 1 screamed, "whose brats
are these?"
"Dear husband, these beautiful chill
dren are ours"
"Oursp
"Ours, love. Six of them ranging from
four to ten years Of age, and all Of the
feminine GENDER"
"SiXw
"SiX, dear. Three pair OF twins.
Remember the Bible injunction: Multi
ply"
had nothing more to say.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1876-11-25
THE woRLD.A BANKRUPT.

How in the world can this world ever
pay itssdebts? In view of the great and
growing Indebtedness of all the nations
OF the earth, this matter is becoming a
conundrum OF no small complexity and
Importance. Turough all the civilized
world we would seek in vain to find a
single nationality, whether it be repub-
lie, Kingdom, or empire with the soli-
tary exception Of China) that is not
overburdened with debt. Look at this
tabuIated statement, collated from the
latest reports of the condition OF the
worlds national finances, and see if it
be not indeed true that this is bank
m rrnrlI.