The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1876-05-25
A Little misunderstanding.

Blank course one day last fall and Butter
wick attended to witness it. On his way
home IN the Reading cars, in the afternoon,
he encountered the Rev. DR. Potts, cler-
gyman, who knew no more about horse
racing than Hindoo knows about seven
up. Butterwick, however, took for grant
ed in his usual way that the doctor was ia
miliar with the subject, and, taking a seat
beside him, he remarked
[ was out at the Blank course to-day to
see Longfellow."
'Indeed Was he there Where did
you say he was ?''
"Why, over yer at the course. [ saw
him and Gen. Harney and lot more Of
EN-. He run agin Gen. Harvey and it Great
ed big excitement, too but he beat the
General badly, and the way the crowd
cheered him was wonderful. They say that
a good deal of money changed hands The
fact is, | had small bet on the General
myself
"You don't mean to say that Longfellow
actually beat Gen. Harney ?"
Eyes, [ do Beat him the worse kind.
You'd hardly've thought it, now, would
you? | was never more surprised in my
life. What's queer about it is that he
seemed just as fresh afterward as before he
commenced. Didn't faze bit. Why, in-
stead of wanting to rest, he was jumping
about just as lively, and when the crowd
began to push around him he kicked boy
in the stomach and doubled him up-nearly
killed him. Oh he's wicked | wouldn't
trust him as far as [ could see him"
"This is simply astonishing" said the
doctor. Il wouldn't have believed it pos
sible. Are you sure it was Longfellow,
Mr. Butterwick p
"Why, certainly, of course I've seen
him often before. And after breathing
awhile, he and Maggie Michel came out,
and as soon as they stepped off he put on
an extra squirt or two and led her by the
neck all around the place, and she came
putting and blowing and nearly exhausted.
[ never took much stock in her, anyway"
Lied her by the neck Why, this is the
most scandalous conduct [ ever heard of.
Mr.. Butterwick, you must certainly bejok
ing"
II pledge you my word its the solemn
truth. | saw it myself And after that
Judge Fullerton and Gen. Harney they
took a turn together, and that was the pret-
test contest of the day. First the Judged
beat the General, and then the Generald
put in the licks and give it to the Judge,
and the two'd be about even for while,
and all of sudden the General would give
a kinder jerk or two and leave the Judge
just nowheres, and by the time the General
passed the third quarter the Judge keeled
over against the fence and gave in. They
say he broke his leg but | don't know if
that's so or not. Anyway he was used up.
If he'd passed that quarter he might have
been all right"
"What was the matter with that quar-
ter? Want it good p
ooh, yes. But you see the Judge must
have lost his wind or something and l
reckon when he tumbled it was something
like faint, you know"
Severed him right for engaging in such
a brutal contest"
"Well, [ dunno. Depends on how you
look at such things And when that was
over Longfellow entered with Matte Eve
lyn. He kept shooting past her all the
time, and this worried her so that she ran
a little to one side and somehow, dunno
how it happened, but his leg kinder tripped
her, and she rolled over on the ground,
hurt pretty bad, l think, while Longfellow
had his leg cut pretty near to the bone" >"
"Did any of the shots strike her 2"
II don't understand YOU"
"You said he kept shooting close to her,
and thought maybe some of the bullets
might have struck her"
"Why, | meant that he ran past her, of
course How in thunder could he shoot
bullets at her p
Il thought maybe he had gun. But
| don't understand any Of it. 1t is the
most astounding thing | ever heard of, at
any rate.
"Now, my dear sir, | want to ask you
how Longfellow could manage a gun p
"Why, as any other man does, of course!'
"Man man Why, merciful Moses !
you didn't think | was talking about hu-
man beings all this time, did you? Why,
Longfellow is horse They were rae
ing, running races over at the course, this
afternoon, and | was trying to tell you about
it,"
"You don't say so, remarked the Doc
tor, with sigh of relief. "Well, | de-
clare, [ thought you were speaking Of the
poet, and hardly knew whether to believe
you or not it seemed 50 strange that he
should behaeve in that manner"
Then Mr.. Butterwick went into the
smoking-car to tell the joke to his friends,
and the Doctor sat rejecting upon the out
rageous impudence of the men who named
their horses after respectable people.
Good Advice for the Young.