The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1876-04-14


A popular poem has been thus
transformed on the Pacific slope:
Lunch, brothers, lunch with care.
Lunch in the presenee Of the barkeepaire,
And help yourself 10 the sasscnjaire,
And touch very light on the strong buttaire,
And pay your bat on the mans countaire-
A gentleman from the rural dis
tricts attended Wade's Opera-house, San
Francisco, recently, and, for the first
time in his life, witnessed the ballet
But he did not seem to appreciate it, as
he was heard to say, "Why did they
hist that curtain before them gals got
their clothes on?n
"A prominent clergyman of Brook
lynlast week, whiletakingone Of acourse
of boxing lessons for exercise, received
what the boys call ga Jolly black eye"
On Sunday he chose his text from
Timothy, ith chapter, 9TH verse IL
have fought good fight, | have finish
ed my course. T"
Among the stories told of Finney,
the revivalIst, is the following: lie was
passing aniron foundry when the works
were in full blast, and heard a work
manswearing terribly. "Young man,"
said the revivalist, addressing the
swearer, show hot do you suppose
he'll isP'' The workman recognized
his questioner, and placing his arms
akimbo, and looking him squarely in
the face, said, "Well, Mr.. Flnney, |
suppose that it's so hot there that if
somebody brought YOU a spoonful Of
melted iron you'd swear twas ice
cream Mr. Finney had nothing more
TO say.
A Detroit lady purchased jacket
at a store the other day, and the clerk
said he would send il right home inside
of half an hour. In about four hours
a package boy appeared with the gar
ment, and the impatient lady ex-
claimed: "You boys are the greatest
nuisance in town. | suppose you
stopped to play marbles or hunt up a
lost dogl" :. Indeed didn't" he re-
piled. Invent up home to change
hats, and ma she had to try on the
jacket and parade before the glass.
Then Katy she put it on to make a call,
and when she got back ma was deter
mined TO walk over on Woodward Ave-
nue. To show il off, and | got here as
quick as ever / could. Free Press.
THE LAT or THE cow.
switch. engine Louisa, "B. c., u. NJ"
Was slowing up Front Street about y. m.
I When the st0ker looked out Of the window to say
There's a COW going across the t-ra-c kay"
Pensively halted the COW on the track,s
Burs on her pendant tail. Iran on her back.
Dreaming Of summer, she seemed not 70 see
The approach Of the switch engine.
once more the stoker spoke There she II
nowi"
"Bully /" the engineer quoth. "for the cow !"
And, reversing his engine, he cried, 'shool oh
said the stokcr, "oh, shoe, the sec.oh-doubl'
your
Shrilly the whistle shreked its alarm,
( And the stOker threw iirewOod and Goals In
swarm;
But the COW never needed. nor thought that he
star
Was setting at four miles an hour.
I The switch engine struck her about amidships,
Z And her summer dreams met with total eclipse
IL manglcd her carcass, most shocking 10 see,
And threw her down Front ST r-double-c tea.
sadly the engineer drew IN his head,
And''pulled her wide OPEN ~ onward he sped
But the stokcr smiled gayly, "old fellow" sal
he.
There's some cheap porter house s-t.a.k-e."'
sThat isn't the way to spell portcr-housc steak
but the rightway wouldn't rhyme.
burlington Hank Eye.