The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1876-06-07
Rates of Advertising.

young girl extraordinarily pretty and
fresh but of the old ladies not one
have | seen to compare with those
beautiful old women of America, who
wear their years. like so many added
charms, whose silver hair shines like
glory around gentle faces that years
and sorrow, perhaps, have refined and
spiritualized to beauty beyond the
rounded outlines Of youth"
Three or four Detroit girls we're the
other day discussing the character and
standing of a certain young man, and
an old lady was close listener. One
of the girls finally remarked. SWELL.
| guess he's rich, for saw him COM
ing out of bank the other day."
"And guess be drives street car"
put in the old lady, "for / saw him
jump off car one day last week."
simpkins rang the servants bell
violently rev mvrnirss since, and
called Bridget to explain why the hot
water for shaving had not been
brought early, as he had ordered.
"Shure, sir, didn't bring it up and
lave 1t at the door last night, SO that
you could have it in good time.
Simpkins did not talk back, but took
cold water shave that morning.
A case of general average: Aren't
you rather old to ride for halfprice ?"
said Ger conductor to the elder Of
two boys. "Well," remarked the
youth, II am under fourteen, and the
boy with me is under six. That don't
make twenty, and you will take two
boys under ten for half-priee EACH"
And he took them.
When the Hon. S. S. Cox was look
ing at the great Corliss engine at the
Centennial last week, he asked the
guard standing near what horse power
the engine had? the reply carne, with
an amazed look, "Wby, you id
fool, youl it don't run by horses they
use steam."
A Wisconsin editor illustrates the
prevailing extravaganza of the people
of the present day by calling atten.
ton to the costly baby carriages in
use now, while, when he was baby,
they hauled him around by the hair
of the head.
He was too solemn q preacher he
didn't suit ir Nevada. The chairman
of the farewell committee oppressed it
we'll said he: "Now you can git,
pard we amt agin religion cut here,
and it rifles us to see a feller spilin' it.
Git"
| "Why is it, my dear sir" said
Waffles' landlady to him the other
day, "that you newspaper men never
get rich ?" "I do not know" was his
reply, "except it is that dollars and
sense do not always travel together"
| Any excuse better than none. A
topper says he would be temperance
man in minute if it wasn't for his
wife. He knows she'd be lonesome if
she hadn't something to jaw about
and find fault with.
Norwich Bulhein: An indignant
correspondent wants to know which is
the worse, a highwayman, or grocer
who gives false measure. We should
say it was about the same-both of
, them lie in weight.
When a California woman defeated
, lion in a hand to-hand combat, the
, neighbors were greatly sstonished, but
her husband quietly remarked: "Oh,
that's nothing: that woman could
3 lick the devil"
"Have you seen my black faced
antelope ?" inquired Mr.. Leoscope,
, who had collection of animals, of
= his friend Bottlejack. "No, l haven't
! Whom did your black-faced aunt
! elope Withf"
/ The iron PROV of the old steame:
!. New Jersey, the first and smallest
f steamer that ever CROSSED the Allan
y tic, is in South Amboy, N. j., and
] will be exhibited at the Centennial.
~ narrowly escaped being cut of
/ with a shilling" said solemn young
q man. elbow did you escape it
asked a bystander. "My father haC
, no shilling" was the solemn reply.
"Brother, why don't you ask the
stranger to pray ?" "Because," reprov
t ingly replied deacon, "this amt nc
+ place for practical jokes. That man.
9 the President of gas company"
Let us carefully observe those gooC
qualities wherein our enemies exec
. us; and endeavor to excel them BY
= = avoiding what is faulty, and imitat
, ing what is excellent in them.
+ A Milwaukee man went to meet
r. r ing in London one evening, and wheI