The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1876-03-04
the pope. That win be sherman,s second marcl

| the Pope. That will be Shcrman's second marc'
to the Sec-E1.
/ &c. Do u @?
The Chinese In this country are already. out
growing their superstition. The body OF on
who died recently in North Adams, hass.' wa
not sent home for burial.-EI
| Because the heathon Chinee had drank enough
Yankee whisky to naturalize him. Then he wa
" native to the manor bourn."
Il The Young clerk who accompanied the !conn
try GIRL to the yard to see per MIX th'
cows left In a hurry when she told hifn she wa
about to strip The young man was raised ol
hand.-Er.
He was right As this is "leap year." there ii
no telling what liberties pursuing young iadie'
may take with unprotected young men!
at was Ben Franklin who introduced broom
culture into this country" but thousands Oh SUI
Iferipp husbands would prefer to see The man
who introduced broom handlcs.-Eh.
i II wasn't man who did it. Allow US to say
that no man can handle broom so well as a
woman.
A Chinaman in California, whose life was in.
sured for a large amount, was seriously hurt by
falling from q wagon. There was some doubt
of his getting better, and at length one OF his
friends wrote to the insurance company, Char
Ice half dead; likee half money"
1t was the old story of chasing pretty striped
kitten in the woods and catching it and finding
II wasn't kitten. 1t was q sentimental cat
En-.
When will the newspaper tcnds have done
with making puns on the Centennial?
The spelling school mania has evidently not
reached all the back townships, as this will bear
witness
The following notice is posted in q church in
Monroe township, H.:
please deposit
Yore TObacer
at the DOre
by order OF
DICKENS.
His majesty, King Mtess OF Africa, is clothed
in nothing bus his dignity.-Ex.
In this bowling wilderness there are many
distinguished person who haven't even 30 much
as dignity left. They clothc themselves IN pre-
sumption.
Out Of respect for the character of their hu.
NOR, Eli Perkins writes his jokes with invisible
ink.
England only wants room for the experiment
to run railway trains seventy miles An hour.
The Emperor of Brazil will soon be here, and
all reporters should be taking lessons in Span
ish.
Owing to the license Of leap-year, Bismark
will not allow any ladies attend to his winter
entertainments.
Cosgealed water will have to be imported in
to our country this season from Greenancs icy
mountains.
Rochester boy claimed the bet for letter
distribution. after pieing form OF type on the
sidewalk last Saturday.
A Chicago man made bold stir in cabinet
shop, last week, by asking for sheet OF water TO
20 with spring bed.
The report that the Rochester Chrorsicie Cur
rent Topics Man" took laughing gas before
writing his conums has exploded.
The Rochester peni.entiary is not exactly a
paradise, although a small Paradise is now in.
carccratcd therein for stealing old iron.
A Remington sewing machine sent TO Foochow
China, was Immediately taken possession Of by
priest for praying promulgator.
The Government donates the appropriation
with the understanding that it snail have the
crumbs that fall from the Centennial feast.
China has just completed a streak OF railroad
nine miles long and thirty inches in width. No
Saratoga trunks accommodated on that routc.