Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1876-03-25


Our reporter has been roaming again
Even through the storm Of last wees be
came into the editors sanctum, bearing
upon his countenance the impress that
matters of mighty magnitude were lock-
ed within his breast. He was not NOR c
than half located i'm his chair before he
commenced. se
aIt matters not how gained this in
formation. but it is sufficient for the read
crs Of the TRIBUNE TO know that in this
village there lives woman who, a few
weeks since, had everything which she
desired but centennial bustle.'"
"sCentennial bustle?' What's that p
"a centennial bustle,'" answered the
reporter, rattling it off as though it had
been familiar subject with him since
early childhood. "A centennial hustle
isamonstrous is thing-an impious cOmbin-
alton of steel springs and tapes, which
reaches from the waist 10 the ankles. and
prevents the wearer from sitting down or
leaning her back against the wall. It
has to be worn with circum spection AMI
clean stockings, for it is given to fantas ic
tricks and sudden upward tits"
"Ah!" remarked the editor, as the re-
porter seemed to have finished his de-
scription. ''Did the lady know bout
these disadvantages -
80! yes, she knew, but it only seemed
to make the coveted article more desira-
BILE in her eyes; for it is tact that in the
line of female wearing apparel, anything
that is particularly hard TO manage is apt
to be in the very zenith of fashion. She
calle1 the attention of her husband 10 the
lovely effect of the Centennial bustie'
on the figures of other women. but the
'heartless brute could see nothing but
deformity in them, and swore that if she
ever attempted to wear one he would
burn it or destroy it i'm some o her pro-
flne way. This didn't discourage her.
She saved her money, and one day she
went to the store and bought the bustle.n
"'rhen suppose she was happy?" re-
marked the editor.
Happy" :" said the reporter, ''she never
was so happy in her life as when she got
home and united the string that COM
pressed it into small package, and saw
it spread into mammoth concern that
looked as though it would fill half the
room. Then she tried it on and stood
before the dressing case. The effect was
not quite what she had pictured in her
mind. She wanted her skirts to stand
out behind, but they stood out like a cir
Gus pavilion, and that was too much
Then she triel to walk. but the unruly
thing struck against her ankles every
step, and tilted her skirts in way that
was utterly demOralizing. She couldn t
sit down, but she had expcc ed this, and
therefore was neither grieved or surpris-
ed at it. She couldn't &c up or down
stairs, and that she hadn't expected. She
couldn't 60 out in the street at all, and
that she wasn'tprepared for, nor wo ildn's
contemplate"
perhaps with practice she might have
managed its intricacies,' observed the
editor.
swell she experimental with it two
hours anu half, and then broke down
i'm despair, and determined to send it
back. Tier. was a painful uncertainty
about it being received at the store again,
and distressing recollection of her hus-
bands threat to burn. it up, haunted the
| little woman's mind. 10 complete her
misery, she had to keep it over night,
and there did not seem to be room
enough in the house for it. She laid it
OIL the spare bed and pressed it down
with weights, and covered it with pill
lows, and so hid it from the the sight of
her unappreciative husband. The next
day before nine o'clock she exchanged it
for short hustle, i'm which she could sit
own or stand up with an equal certainty
and comfort
The reporter stopped with an expec.-
ant look upon his countenance, as thou h
he expected reply. The editor said:
"Wisdom learned from experience is
not often forgotten ~
SShc says Centennial bustles' are un-
holy frauds, and that she shall use her
influence against them"
The reporter then went out into II e
storm again and left us wondering.