The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1876-04-25

ranks.
Centennial Trash.
One of the peculiar outcomes of the Cen
tennial period has been the passion it has
awakened for all sorts Of old trash. First OF
all everybody wanted to get copies Of old
newspapers antedating the Declaration Of In
dependence SO they contained scrap OF
reference to the struggle brewing or opened
in America. Then the passion arose tor
autographs Of George Washington, Thomas
jefferson, Patrick Henry, John Hancock,
or any one prominent or otherwise in the
Revolution. Then came the mania for old
chairs that Washington sat upon. There are
at least ten thousand Of these in existence,
so that up to few weeks back there was no
difficulty in meeting the patriotic demand.
Then came the omnivorous craving for any
thing century old that was in any way
attached to the Father of his Country-old
pots, old crooks, old hats, old boots Any
thing that was musty enough to look CEN
tury old was fastened on by the patriots as
relics Of Washington.
All this patriotic fervor has led to lament
able results. People who have always had
the reputation of being truthful and honor
able citizens have fallen into habits of lying
shameful to contemplate. Such one finds
in the attic an old dust-covered cooked hat
that had been used years ago in amateur
theatricals He says to himself, washing
ton may have worn such hat" Then he
4 "a u 1vxv
did wear it. The hat is put under o glass
case, and Brown and Jones and Robinson
become the dupes of Smith; but Smith re-
proaches himself inwardly that he is liar
in this centenary of American Independence.
The Centennial deceit does not end here.
Jones, Brown and Robinson heap up heca-
tombs of falsehood about their ancestors
who ''shivered with Washington at Valley
Forge, by Jove !" or ''cheered for the great
Jehovah and the Continental Congress with
Ethan Allen at Ticonderoga, by thunder r
or, at least, ''held Lafay ette's horse when
he was going to see the surrender Of Corn
wallis" If this were the limit of the decep-
ton it would not be SO dreadful, but Jones,
Brown, Robinson and Smith have called
forth a Nemesis Of mercenary counterfeiters
who prey upon them and Centennial-mad
society. The counterfeiting of the newspa-
pers Of q century ago has taken alarming pro-
portions. The reproductions are SO like the
originals that it would be difficult to say
which is which-same old type, same paper,
same yellow age-tint, same torn edges, same
dogs ears. The Washington Old Chair
Mandatory keeps six reliable work
men employed painting &c. w., 1776,"
on the seats; six steady old women
ore engaged collecting cobwebs to be laid
upon the choicer specimens. and a dozen
silent but sturdy fellows toll night and day
kicking the otherwise completed spurious
old chairs round musty cellar to give them
appropriate mildew, dints and cracks.
The Centennial Autograph Works is
also very busy turning ont faded let
tiers from all the Revolutionary
patriots. In secluded part Of the State,
where the revival has not reached, twenty
Ave aged spinsters-the remains of o sewing
bee of godlier times and young pastor-are
stitching upon spurious quilted petticoats Of
Martha Washington, unmindful of the wrath
to come. We would, therefore, caution the
people against the dangers besetting their
souls and would advise them, whatever tre-
mendous yarns they spin about their Revolu-
tionary forefathers or their relics not to be-
lieve the stories that others tell in the same
direction, and to smile respectfully, but irri-
tatingly, at their Revolutionary bric-d-brac !;
not to invest even paper money in old pa
pers, old chairs. old letters, old hats or
Martha Washington petticoats, or if they
have already bought them to stow them ig-
ANONYMOUSLY away until another century Of
the Republic has given them that much gen.
uine antiquity.