, 1876-05-08

tfy4 IN IH3a way ani IN tnaB WAY cNy3 can
tho doubtful yots be counted on to assure
Republican victory.
THE GREAT AMERICAN LETTER-Wn1TER.
Mr. L. II. FtrzuuaH, tho Democratic Door
keeper Of tho House Of Representatives, who
recently turned up under numerous indict-
mcnts for arsou, stealing bcd.qailts, perjury,
assaults, md othor offcnses against tho peace
OF the people,, Inns now turned up as the
great American lcttcr.writer. Since AIr. F1rz-
l1uan became Doorkcepcr ho has been anx-
ious TINT his friends alould behold him in
nll his greatness, and to ono Tcxns friend he
wroto letter which Inns found its way into
print. We cannot allow this remarkable
document to pass nunosicod. Tho captious
reader may iin1 fault will, its orthography,
and talso exceptions to its literary style; but,
ii any one is warranted in having u contempt
for spelling and rounded periods, it Is n
Democratic Doorkeepcr. We therefore mako
some extracts, which ara worthy of preserva-
ton III nn,bcr. Mr.. Frrznuau writes:
haye been trying ever since my election to write 10
yuu hut hare been baslo1upti frsm In tho morning
Until or At Night hai ascut huntsel l. nifty
appointments to u,akc and have bad reckon With
out exaggcration a,C01 applications besdcs wom
Gu 1: children pulling lurking me every time
would put my bend out Of 'hc door Of MY otllcc.
Lenviug out Of question tho awful pressure
10 which poor F1Tzuuou wns subjected by this
furious mob of Democratic mon, women, and
children, ongcr to net as rofor1nors, and tho
improper md ungraceful manner in which he
WINS "pul!ed aud jurkcd" about, hia jcreniad
throws flood Of light upon Tho nvidity Of
the Democratic patriots who for fifteen long
ycarH hnvo been kept ont Of tho apoils. II
there wcro 5000 Of these patriots after F1Tz-
uuans appointments, how many must there
haye been demanding tho appointments Of
other House oficers2 Tho mob outsido tho
House, however, was no more sosoro upon
FrTzuuau thnn that inside. He says:
havn moro Invitations to frollcks with tho mesn-
bers and Senators than any man ia Washington. /
an bigger man now With tho nlctnbers than old
GnANr. cannot put my foot Oh tie focr Of tho lnal
but that they make break for Il sometimes =
dozen being Ut INC ut once for racos for aome friend
ecarcely ever nit out Of tho Oca to 60 on tho floor
Of tto Housc.
Congressional froiics arc not the only
amlscmentR of F11znuan. He is literally in
clover up to his knees, for he writos, in
another placo:
wsh you could bo hero with me do try eomo On,
tho aovnt furnishes Ito with 1no turnout l. spank
tng pair at 1orecs before after tbs house sessions
receas hasc exclusive use Of them. my coac1man
comas down every morning for Ia, that IL FAY and
m5scH aud after driving nrauud 70 my breakfast take
mo to my otIce, coma on l. will g!ro you g. good
tttnc.
Who could resist such oil invitation so OIL
Enthusiastically expressed? Elegant as this is,
F1rzHuou expects still moro elegant things
TO come, for lo writes:
! 1hayo supt Il assistant in each department and
nbout dozen book kcepcra besides my Onlco clerk,
1: We do thinga up In ste, have boy to tako my
hat coat or can't turn around without Bomo ouo 1t
| my beck & catt, {. whonI get nu my uew appofnt.
| 1nc,sts broken In, shall have nice time.
FIrznuon evidently llas M embarrassment
Of good tlings,-in point of fact, almost
too much for m average man in this valo Of
tears. man WHO finds his meat all fat in
this remarkable style, after being without a
square meal for ncarly quarter OF a century,
ought to be On tho lookout for soma great
calamity. Such colossal happiness, such
stup,ndoua agonica OF ecstacy, such beds Of
rosca. such ambroBial days mud nights, such
"frolioks with tho members md Sonntors, +"
not to speak Of tho 'spnnking Horses" md
"tAe boy to take his hat and coat" uust bo
tho preludoo diBaster, rs CLEorATnA's sail up
tho Milo preceded the asp, md NEnoa rnvish-
ing fiddle only played an overture to Romoa
fiery lisaster. Perhaps Air. Frrzuuon'a pro-
photic soul anticipates somo such denonc-
| mont to his merry carnival, for in another
part of his screed he suddenly drops his e1-
| clamationa Of delight aud lapses into tho