The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1876-06-30
WHAT THE WITS SLY.

"Oystra still insists that the Mussulmen
shall adopt an unshellfish policy" -
Graphic.
"They've got singing doll at the Gen.
tennial. She huns I'm sawdust when
sing '"-Boston Post.
An exchange says that the Empress Eu-
genie has just turned 60. Which way did
she turn it? So: 3 !? Or SO; 8? or SO: 90 !?
Boston A7oertiser, --
1t must be awful for man to be stran-
ger in strange house with q chew of
tobacco in his mouth and no spittoon in
sight.-FaItoas Times. -
Mexico exhibits at the Centennial 4, 900
pound lump of silver worth $73, 900, and it
seems to us the annexation business has
been postponed too oolong.-R0chester Chroa1-
icIe. .-.4
SPY Schiminy, how dot boy studies de
/ laHguages!s is what a delighted elderly
German said when his four-year-old son
called him q blear-eyed son of saw-horse.
Boston Globe.
The Centennial chain, for ladies' is COM
posed Of thirty seven rings-supposed to
illustrate the manner in which the thirty
seven States Of the Union are governed
Turner's FaZzs Reporter.
Hung Wo, All Wo, Chang Wo and Sin
Wo were expelled from Reno Nevada, the
other day by an anti Chinese society, and
in leaving the town one Wo did tread
upon another's heels so fast they followed.
-Eg.
A single letter of Robert Burns sold at
auction last week for $125. If he hadn't
written line of poetry, but had just spent
all his time manufacturing autographs, it
would have been money in his pocket
Graphic.
Aldricll says. GAS wild as the winds that
tear the curled red leaf in the air, is the
song that have never sung" The man
who knows q song like that, and nobly for
bears to sing it, is a credit to any country
- Dan5ury Neees F
'sCousin Jim," said Gail Hamilton to Mr..
Blaine sfftor of1o Of his recent dramatic ca
plantations, "why don't you give up politics
and study for the STAGE? You're the best
actor | ever saw off the boards" SIT
isn't worth while, Gail. / have whole
people for my audience now; and I can
play upon their weaknesses without chang
ing my clothes s.-Brookzyn Argus.
The most disappointed, detected and de-
moralized- looking man we have seen for a
long time is the individual who requested
us to stop his paper two weeks since.
When he saw that the Times withstood the
shock and came out on time last week. his
chin dropped down so low that he stubbed
his toe On it and turned complete somer-
sault.- Whitehall Times. .-.
George w. Childs rolled his eyes in fine
frenzy the other morning as he observed
the first green apple of the season ON a
corner fruit stand, and, rushing to his Of
flee, he dashed off the following: "Put
away the pretty piaythings with which our
darling used to frolic. He will need them
on earth never for he died of bilious co1ic,"
and, marking it 81 per line" he sent it
down to take it's place with the other obitu-
ary treasures of the counting-room - CHI
cago Times.
A new coupon cutter which cuts both
sides of the coupon at once has been in
vented. 1t will be Of much value to profess
sional men. It has always been our own
custom to devote Saturday nights to cutting
off our coupons, but we have found that
using an ordinary pair of scissors, unless
we begin very early in the evening, the
work was aptto encroach upon the Sabbath.
The mere saving of labor makes this instru-
ment of untold value.--Norarich Bulletin.