The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1876-12-02
VARIETY.
Honolulu, 1919

1t was an Irishman who wrote to Mr. Plimsoll
to ask IL n coffin ship could not always be distin-
guished in the water by the wake after it.
A Nashville man answered a Chicago adVer-
tsment, 'fHow to win at poker, and received
for his two dollars the following; 'iod four aces
or don't poke
II is easy to tell when others are Aattered, but
not when we ourselves are ; and every man and
woman will lend firm belief to the soft nothings
of the very man they believe to be an arrant fat
terer when others are in the case
Old man Boggs wished to make some slight
repairs on the top of his residence, near Cincin-
natl, and for this purpose had occasion to tear
up "A few shingles. In doing SO in quiet and
inoHensiye manner he was astonished to find that
he had disturbed hornets nest. The hornets
swarmed out on Mr. Boggs. They made it hot
for him at the very first onset. lie rushed for
the ladder, attacked from behind, when, horror
of horrors a neighbor had borrowed his ladder
Mr.. Bogcs cayorted, he tumbled, he rolled from
one end Of the roof to the other, screaming as ne
went Ladder ladder ~ The hornets contin-
ually increased they flew at his nose, his ears,
his checks they danced on his forehead, they
leg. they met half way and fought each other;
tbeys stnng here and there and everywhere.
Boegs, wild gesticulations and terrific shouts at
tracked the attention of the whole neighborhood.
His friends mistook the shouts of :" ladder -
ss hornets - for 80 Tilden and Hendricks!" and
ness was depicted on his face that a ladder was
finally procured and rescue effected. Mr.. Boggs
is laid up for repairs now, and his face looks
like the newspaper pictures of defeated prize
fighter.
The Man WHO GAVE oDDs.-After a strange
man had finished eating q hearty meal at one of
the stands in the City Hall market yesterday, he
remarked to the woman
90 As / was sitting down to this meal l said to
myself that I'd bet 81 against the dinner that
the Gzeenback candidates would not carry sim
ole State If they do you have won the 81 and
II want 50 cents of you,'' she replied, pulling
of her comforter.
=. Or I'll bet you S5 against the meal that the
Democrats carry New York State" he contln-
ned.
al want nv pay or there'll be trouble right
here - she exclaimed, slipping of her bonnet.
"Or I'll bet the same sum, on the same terms,
that the Republicans will carry it, he remarked,
as he wiped off his sandy goatee.
ss / never bet, and want my pay - she called
ont. being now all ready for action.
80 Great Heavens but look at the odds offer
?'' he gasped. '' not only let you bet on
either side, but 1 offer you the most fearful odds
that have ever been given since the advent of the
Christian era W
II can't help the odds,' she answered as she
GOT hold of his coat-tails. {" You don't leave
here till get my money"
ssOr, I'll bet you S35 against this 30 cent
debt" he went on, that neither Hayes nor
Tilden will be elected. One of them must be,
but offer to bet they won't be, simply to permit
YOU to coin S35 out of my hard earnings. Great
Jigs! but such another offer was never known
since Oliver Cromwell kept fighting dog 20
Thirty-fve cents ~ she shrieked, pulling
him around.
Last, but not least, III bet you forty to one
that haven't had 35 cents about me for month
Come, now, offer you every chance to win
She gave HIM two solid kicks, and was design
H. 49,, 10 h hrIE
and left coat-tail in her grasp. While an officer
was looking for him around the market he was
plaeidly surveying the Soldiers Monument and
picking his teeth with straw