The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1876-01-20
SCATTERING NOTES.

Arkansas newspaper correspondents in
the Legislature make assertions and back
'em up by saying I've got six bullets
which says it's So
The Philadelphia Times suggestively
heads dispatch concerning Pnchback' s
petition for seat in Congress, who
dat Knocking at the Do'?''
Child ''Does the Lord take the papers?'
Mother NO my child; why do you ask"
Child ..Oh thought he didn't. it takes
our minister SO long to tell him about
hings!''
There is none Of God 5 creatures for
whom the recording angel reserves larger
share OF pity than the man conf mned TO
wrestle with the average boarding house
sirloin.
A Pitt burg woman says that onc
Thousand reporters souls coald dance on
the point Of needle The question Of the
size OF angels. souls was frequently dis
cussed by the medieval monks.
Reading the great Sturgeon declara-
ton. "A c.gar is thing to thank God for"
a navy ard school boy bought cigar,
He was afterward seen hanging over a
fence. but he was not giving thanks.
Governor Peck, of Vermont, seeing an
old woman in Jericho saving wood. the
other day, stopped his horse, took off his
coat, and sawed and split enough to last
her and her aged husband for some
time.
A lady, whose family was very much
in the habit Of proposing conundrurns
was one evening asked b. her husband, in
an excited tone: ''why are all these doors
left open!'' Il give it up, instantly an
swered the lady.
A widow. being cautioned by her min
lister about flirting said she knew 1t was
wrong for maidens and wives to tiirt, but
the Bible was her authority. 1t said
widows mite She was flirting awfully
at last accounts.
\ Dubuque youngstcr, learning that
tanning could be used 70 make the SKIN
tough in exposed places that chatting and
blisterirg would not occur, acted accor
dinghy: and now any amount CT the pater-
nal hand and shingle has no terrors for
him.
A Young man employed on commerce
street is six feet eight inches high, and
weighs little over a hundred pounds.
They Judge by his appetite that ne Is ho'-
low clear down, and think of amputating
one foot and using him for stovepipe.
| Pshaw. It's easy enough to put up
stove-pipe. All you have gotto dol TO put
on your kid gloves. take up your cane.
and leave word at the timer 5, and when
he gets ready. and can't think of any
other job and dosert want to go fishing,
he will put your stove up.
/ OF the twentv-six members who have
/ held the Speakership Of Congress, only
six are now living namely Hunter,
Winthrop, Banks, Grow. Colfax and
j Blaine. Hunter is State Treasurer Of
/ Virginia, Banks. and Blaine are in Con.
cress. and the rest are in private life.
i An honest old gentleman from rural
sountv. who came down tn New York to
cpend the sabbath with friends. Was asked
bv one Of them what the people up his
way though, of the Beecher scandle. lie
replied that he never tried it and diden I
know any thing abou; it, that he and al
his neighbors burned kerosene.
\ little girl was once asking her elder
sister about heaven. do they play IL
heayeni' she inquired, NO; they do no
MAY there what do they dol
:.Tkey sing and are good Are there NJ
TOYS theret" NO not any No dolls. no
balls. nor Noah's arksi' ''Oh no. ''The'
shall take my dolly and go to hell
Mrs. Gen. Mcdonald. wife of the ST
Louis whiskey Ring chief, lives at Ripor
Wisconsin and minsles as freely and ur
concernedly as ever in society. The No
Donald mansion is the largest and cost
lest. and contains more evidence
wealth than any in the vicinity of RipoI
Mrs. Col. Joyce lives with Mrs Nj
Donald.
: The charge that Bctkin. ofthe Milwa'
kee Sentinel. has to pull on his undershil
from below on account of the size OF n
+, ears. is base invention. We have know
Bot. over twenty-ore years. have ssel
with him great many times and we kno
that his ears are flexible In cold VIC
Their we used to use the off one for an e
ira quilt
( A writer in a Kansas paper -ernaTl
a upon the results OF the late election
' saws. "Thc fall of corruption has be-
: dispelled, and the wheels Of the State Go
' eminent will no longer be tramellsd