National Republican., 1876-04-10
yoTARIEs TO A NEW SCIENCE.

1H6 pdA hO" Al sAS
House of Representatives may be cred
tied with raising deception to such an al
titude that it almost takes a place among
the moral sciences. Judged by their
ardent adoption of il, it has, in their esti-
nation, superseded craftsmanship, honest
legislation, national issues and everything
else which it is generally supposed Repre-.
sentatives are sent to Washington to put
into practice, and presents basis enough for
the entire platform of the Democratic
party. 1t is not necessary to de anything
whatever if we can produce IAN effect"
and keep 1t up reasons the Democratic
leader, and hence we must bring slmula-
tion, deception, "effect." into play and
make il our main reliance. As conse-
quence of this ingenious theory it is dis
covered that ''effect" has been raised to
the dignity of a science. Its disuse and
illimltable availability for political uses Is
being shown by the party adopting it. 1t
is a wonderful adjunct to political success
Given a creduluus public, easily swayed by
exaggerated acting. whether assuming
patriotic, ridiculous. CT sensational guise:
given large proportion of that public too
ignorant OF indisposed to separate the gen
uine from the false given another large
proportion welded to vice, and pledged
in opposition to whatever is true and
right. and we have the elements upon
which the "science Of effect" can operate
with power well nigh incalculable. Stu
dents Of human nature will say that they
are not sure but that the Science of ef-
feet" is not as great force as any moral
or immoral agency existing in the universe.
1t is, in fact, the counterfeit held up as
the real; false sentiments rung out with
the air of genuineness; hypocrisy simu-
lating virtue; selfshness and ambition
in the guise of patriotism; in a word, it
is the devil in the livery of saint. This
is the science of effect" and its adoption
as the present platform of the Democratic
party exhibits not only their proclivities
and genius, but interprets the acting that
is now going on at the great national
theatre-the House OF Representatives.
and gives the true clue to the plot But
we will not stop to analyze this great
science as it is now being exhibited at the
House Of Representatives. The greatest
living representation of the salary grab,
the talented Randall, is appearing daily in
his remarkable impersonation of the hon
est economist, in which act he performs
the feat of throwing double somersault
without even so much as jarring his cheek.
The immaculate Cox; the true patriot, Fer
nsndo Wood; the incorruptible moralist,
Robbins; the hysterical Clymer; the zeal
GUS lover of his country, Ben Hill, and the
magnificent Centennial production, La
mar, are performing round of patriotic
assumptions, which are unequaled in
their way and wonderful to behold. True
apostles are they one and all, with the va
vious investigating committees, and the
other attitudenizing coryphees of the
party, of the great sensational, newly-pe
fected science of effect.
But the yotaries TO this new Democratic
science are not all members of the House
of Representatives. 1t has extensive rami-
ications which permeate other professions
and occupations. The newspaper press is
subject to its seductions. The New York
Shun, the Daily Libel, the Baltimore
Sham, and other remarkable lights, have
given in their allegiance to it, and are
devoted in their efforts in the cause of this
great "science." But, perhaps, the most
remarkable of all its devotees is man of
singular genius, renowned accomplish.
ments, immaculate character and profound
scope Of brain, who was imported at a
great expense, from England, to do the
real artistic work for the party through
the medium of its illustrated journal. This
gentleman has lately visited US, and though
his coming was unostentatious, and his
stay somewhat abridged for private rea-
sons, yet he has not failed to leave his
mark on the morals of the city, and the
effect Of his devotion TO the science" upon
his audiences. We allude to Matthew
Morgan, ESQ.,, artist and delineator of Dem
ocratic virtue and Republican wickedness.
This renowned leader of public sentiment
is not at present ardently engaged in the
role assigned to him by the Democratic
party, principally because he has not had
his ''cue' as yet. He comes on in the
latter part Of the season, when there is
pause in legislation, and the effect 10 be
derived from his efforts may be more vaiu-
able to his party. His services are not
needed while Congress is in session, but in
a measure he will take the place of the
Congressional actors while they are taking
their midsummer rest. In the mean
time, Mr. Morgan, artist to the D. p,
is taking a leisurely jaunt through
the country in the interests of high art,
not of political character, and for the
purpose Of recuperating his energies. 1t
is natural that he should find his way to
Washington. 1t is perhaps fortunate that
he should find his way out of it. As the
artistic apostle 10 the Democracy, he may
have stayed long enough to get more
sketches and receive his instructions, but
we are glad that he has gone. 1t will not
be matter for serious regret when his
fellow deyotees to the great Science of
effect" follow his example and likewise
depart. In fact, it is time for a new play
to take the boards. This one Is worn
threadbare. Once exposed, the "science
of effect becomes scof and by-word,
The people want no more professions, no
more making of mouths, no more grimaces,
no more ranting, no more coaxing, no more
somersaults, no more blatant speeches
or sensational investigations; they want
to see something like craftsmanship. The
'science of effect" is too thin.
PARALLELS THAT ARE NOT PARALLEL.
Down on the thirty. second parallel of
north latitude they are having plenty of
green grass, green leaves, green peas, ripe